#Superintendent (Store)

[plaid-maniac]

Just found out that the program I am in for college is changing its name. I am graduating next year, so it will be under the new name and not the name I have worked under this entire time. Honestly second worst academic betrayal just behind number 1 which is the superintendent that worked my grade school system was fired a few months before I graduated high school so I couldn’t shake his hand when graduating. Normally not a big deal but he was the biggest asshole and literally everyone my grade grew up memeing on him since 1st grade, so it was a shame I couldn’t meet him in person

[coff33andb00ks]

vivvvv how about…

11 + 24 with lando 😊

"It's impossible to get rid of me."/"Are you awake or asleep?"

driver + number = drabble <3

maddie babe ily

warnings: disgusting perverted amount of fluff

Lando Norris is, in his own words, a little bitch.

Granted, he said those words when he was drunk and a moth flew too close to his face, but you'll never let him forget that he uttered them.

Nor will you let him forget you have video of him screaming in terror and running straight into the glass door of the balcony to get away from the moth.

It's what your friendship is based on: embarrassing moments that the other finds hilarious but no one else would understand. Like the time you spent three minutes telling a store mannequin what you were looking for, or the time Lando locked himself out of his apartment at four in the morning. He has a tendency of doing that, so much so that when it happens he shows up at your place.

Like he is now, in his joggers and slides, without his wallet or phone, smiling sheepishly at you like it isn't three a.m.

"Don't you have other friends," you grumble, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your hands.

"None that'll answer the door this late," he sighs.

You sigh and step back to let him in, pretending to be unaffected by the scent of him freshly showered. "How'd it happen?"

"Took out the trash and thought I had my key in my pocket." He looks entirely too comfortable in your tiny apartment, shirtless and his hair still damp.

Nodding, you shuffle to your bedroom to collect the spare key to his place. That he'd given to you so casually, like it was a normal thing for him to hand out an extra key, when you knew it wasn't because even Fewtrell didn't have a spare key back when Lando lived in England still.

"C'mon, you know I'll need it. Besides, you're the only one I trust to have it." He dropped the key - attached to a Snoopy keychain that you remember him buying in Vegas - into your purse. "There. Now it's impossible to get rid of me."

As if you'd ever want to.

He follows you into the bedroom and you're painfully aware of your unmade bed and the clothes you'd left on the floor. Which is ridiculous, because it's Lando, he's been in your bedroom before, he's seen your dirty underwear–

Just not at three in the morning...

"Fuck," you mutter, turning your purse upside down to empty it onto the dresser. The essentials of your life spill out, lip gloss and gum and wallet and keys - but not Lando's because that one stays on its Snoopy keychain it's special - and hand sanitizer and notepad and six pens and tissues and the ticket stub from the movie he took you to see two weeks ago and a friendship bracelet and two pads. Everything but his key.

"Don't tell me you've lost it," he says.

You scoff at the idea. You may have lost your mind, your sanity, and sometimes your wallet, but you'd never lose his key. Your sleepy mind scrambles. Two weeks ago you pulled it to give to him and–

"Oh shit it's at my place," he mumbles, clapping a hand over his face.

"Lando!" you groan, sweeping everything back into your purse.

He's sorry, you're annoyed, and after bickering uselessly you tell him to just go to bed, he can get his superintendent to let him in in the morning.

It's not unusual to share a bed with him. Lando's a clingy, touchy feely person, half the time you travel with him he ends up taking you into staying in his room. Ostensibly because he likes to talk but really because he wants to cuddle.

"You awake?" he whispers in the darkness. "Or asleep?"

You don't answer, because you know he's about to say something profoundly sweet or incredibly stupid.

He presses his face into your hair and sighs, much like an exhausted dog finally settling down for a good sleep. "I do it on purpose sometimes," he whispers. "Cuz I sleep better with you than when I'm alone."

As confessions go it's probably your favorite. But you have to pretend you don't hear it. You're smiling though, and you let out a sleepy little hum. And you feel him smile.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

would you ever consider doing an elementary extension that includes them finding out they’re pregnant with iris? no pressure just wondering!!

The Birthday

pairing: elementary!joel x f!reader (Elementary-verse)

rating: M (talks of pregnancy, steamy moments, talks of vomiting)

wc: 1.9k

series masterlist

— September 26, 2003 —

You stirred awake later than usual, your body working overtime now that after months of trying, you were finally pregnant. You had yet to tell Joel the news, wanting to wait until the appointment you made for this afternoon to confirm the results of the four at-home tests you took before you got his hopes up.

Crawling out of bed, you stretched your arms out wide, letting out a hearty yawn before turning to look at Joel’s shirtless body still fast asleep in bed, sprawled out like usual, his feet nearly hanging off your side of the bed. You smiled at him and all of his quirks that would get under your skin if he were anybody else, your hand smoothing over your nonexistent bump. Though you’d been unable to fight off your morning sickness all week, somehow the thought of carrying his child and your wedding next month seemed to cure the nausea threatening to creep up on you.

Catching the alarm on his nightstand before it could ring out its harsh and piercing cry, you leaned over his form and pressed a kiss to his temple, your palm rubbing over the muscles on his smooth and warm back.

“Mm,” he hummed, rolling over onto his back. He rubbed at his eyes as he stirred awake, and after a big yawn, he focused his vision on you sitting on the edge. “Mornin’, baby.”

“Morning, birthday boy,” you greeted him with a smile, rubbing at his chest. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Shit—“ He sighed, raking one of his hands over his face. “Promised Sarah we’d have pancakes this mornin’ but I forgot to get it at the store.”

“Eggs and bacon then?” Joel gave you a soft smile and nodded. 

As you moved to stand, he caught your hand and tugged you back to him, beckoning you to lean down for a kiss which you happily obliged. Joel hummed against your lips, his arms wrapping around your waist as he tugged you to lay on top of him, your thighs straddling his hips as his kisses trailed down your chin to your jaw. 

“We can call off work,” Joel mumbled against your ear as he placed a kiss there, his hands wandering over your thighs to rest on your hips. “Spend all day in bed.”

“I have an important…meeting,” you lied. “Superintendent is coming. Can’t miss it.”

Joel pouted as you sat upright, your hands resting on his chest as you smiled down at him. 

“God, you make it hard to think rationally,” you laughed, lifting a hand to squish his cheeks together, his pout turning into a pair of fish lips. “That’s better.”

Joel laughed and patted your hip, letting you climb off of him so that he could stand up. 

“Gonna shower,” he said. “You’re welcome to join.”

“So persistent this morning,” you teased, swatting his ass as he passed you. “I’ll take a raincheck.”

“Happy fuckin’ birthday to me, I guess.”

With a smirk, you threw on your robe and padded your feet downstairs, finding Sarah sitting at the kitchen table finishing up her homework.

“Morning,” she greeted you with a smile. “How are you feeling? Did you throw up again?”

“No, I’m managing to keep it down today, or…at least for now. Knock on wood.”

After getting the coffee pot going, you pulled two pans from the cupboard and placed them on the gas stove, turning the heat on before walking over to the fridge to grab what remained of the eggs and bacon.

“You gonna tell dad today?” Sarah asked, whispering so that Joel didn’t accidentally overhear the news you’d shared with Sarah almost immediately after finding out yourself, her round, insistent eyes winning over your inner-strength.

“If everything goes well at the doctors,” you replied, looking over your shoulder at her while you cracked some of the eggs into the buttered pan. “You still wanna get his watch fixed?”

“I was hoping, but my allowance money is running a little low.” You looked back to see her shrugging with a frown, but quickly shook your head at her and walked over to your purse that rested on the counter, pulling out three twenties and handing them over. “No, I can’t—“

“You can and you will,” you replied, giving her a playfully stern look. “We’ll just say it’s from both of us.”

“Dad’s gonna love it,” she beamed, sticking the cash in her backpack. “We might see some tears tonight.”

“I’m counting on it.”

Joel’s quick and heavy footsteps sounded as he jogged down the stairs, finding you at the stove and Sarah hard at work on her algebra worksheet. He walked over and kissed her on the top of the head before walking into the kitchen, giving your ass a loving tap as he pulled three mugs out of the cabinet.

“Tommy coming by?” you asked as you watched him divvy up the coffee pot equally into all three cups. As if a lightbulb rang in your head, you realized caffeine might not be the best thing for you given the pregnancy. “Oh, actually…you don’t need to pour me one.”

Both Joel and Sarah gave you an odd look, having never seen you turn down your morning coffee.

“Just…I don’t want to be jittery and anxious for my meeting,“ you lied. 

“You have coffee every mornin’,” he countered, his brows furrowed as he watched you try to form a better excuse.

“Not when I’m already anxious,” you returned, doubling down on your lie. “Coffee will just make it worse.”

“Mm,” Joel narrowed his eyes at you as he lifted his mug to his mouth to take a sip. “You’re lyin’ ‘bout somethin’.”

“No, I’m not,” you quickly denied his claim with a giggle.

“Yeah, you are,” he chuckled. “But it’s alright, I’ll let you have your lie for now.”

“Mornin’, mornin’!” Tommy walked in with a wide smile, rubbing his hands together as he peered over your shoulder at the eggs. “Make sure to put some cheese on mine, sis.”

“She ain’t your personal chef,” Joel barked. 

“Shh,” you hushed your guard dog of a fiancé with a smile before looking over at Sarah. “You want cheese with yours, Sarah?”

“No, I’m okay,” she replied as she stuck her binder in her backpack. “I would like some OJ, though.”

“Bought a new jug of it yesterday,” Joel announced, moving to grab a glass from the cabinet behind him. “Baby, you want a glass, too? Since you’re not havin’ coffee for whatever reason.”

“Yes, please,” you replied, flashing him a thankful smile.

“Why ain’t you havin’ coffee? That’s new,” Tommy noted as he took a seat beside Sarah at the table.

“Why are you both so interested in what she does and doesn’t drink?” Sarah asked, coming to your defense.

“Alright, alright—“ Joel held his hands up in defense. “Didn’t know it was a touchy subject.”

“It’s not, now come help me carry these plates to the table,” you ordered, taking two of the plates in your hands while Joel set his coffee down to grab the other two. You set the plates down in front of Tommy and Sarah before taking your usual seat beside her, Joel joining shortly after.

“You think you’ll be home on time today?” you asked, looking to your fiancé as he stuffed his mouth full of bacon.

“Doubt it,” Tommy interjected. “We gotta wait for the cement guys to come and they take fuckin’ ages—“

“I’ll try my best,” Joel interjected with a glare aimed at his brother. “‘Specially if this one doesn’t drag ass again.”

As if your body suddenly remembered its current condition, the nausea that was nowhere to be found just minutes ago began to take root deep in your stomach. The smile on your face as you watched Joel and Tommy go back and forth faded into a look of worry as things spiraled faster than you could act. Your hand lifted to your mouth as you abruptly slid your chair back on the tile, drawing all eyes to you as you sprinted towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind you and just barely making it to the toilet. 

“Baby, you alright?” Joel’s voice sounded from the other side of the door as every bit of this morning’s breakfast came back up until you were left dry heaving. “Can I come in?”

“It’s gross,” you croaked, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear. It seemed he didn’t care much about your warning as he turned the doorknob and let himself in, finding his seat on the edge of the bathtub. 

“You alright?” he asked, his voice low and soothing as he rubbed your upper back. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, reaching to flush the toilet before moving to sit against the tub beside him, your head resting on his leg. “Must be the nerves.”

“You still goin’ with that lie?” he smiled down at you. “C’mon, baby.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” you said, smiling nervously as you looked up at him. “A confirmed surprise.”

“Confirmed?” he repeated, his brows lacing together. You took a deep, calming breath and let it out in a slow sigh before meeting his eyes again, a grin spreading across your face. 

“I, uh, I was feeling off a couple weeks ago and so I went and got some tests—“ Joel’s brow softened, his eyes going round. “And they were positive.”

“You’re telling me…what?” he chuckled. “You’re…you’re pregnant?” 

“Yeah,” you giggled and nodded, wiping a tear that flooded your waterline. 

“Really?” he swooned, reaching out to help you onto your feet so that he could wrap his arms around you. “You ain’t punk-in’ me, or whatever that Ashton Kutcher show says, right?”

You laughed and shook your head as you squeezed his shoulders, his face buried in your neck. 

“No, you’re not getting punk’d,” you said. 

“Does this mean y’aint got an important meeting with the Superintendent today?” he asked as he pulled back to stare at you, his thumb stroking over your cheek. 

“No,” you smirked, looking down at his belt. “I am technically sick.” 

“Exactly,” he smirked. “And it’s my birthday.”

“Sounds like we’ve got some calls to make,” you said, biting your lip. “But first I think I need to scrub my entire mouth clean because that was—“

“I can’t believe we’re having a baby,” he interrupted your less than sweet talk with some tear-inducing sincerity. “Does Sarah know?”

“Yeah, she got it out of me pretty much right after I took the tests,” you laughed. “She’s excited, I think.”

“I’d kiss you if your breath didn’t smell so bad,” he teased, making you gasp and pinch his side. “Fine, I’ll kiss you anyways.”

“If it wasn’t your birthday—“

“But it is,” he smiled at you devilishly as his hands rested on your hips and tugged you closer to him, his lips leaning in to hover over your pulse before pressing a petal soft kiss there. “Go call off work and do what you gotta do. All I want for my birthday is you in my bed all damn day, alright?”

“Whatever you want…daddy,” you purred, a grin spreading across your face at the groan he let out. 

“Lord,” he sighed, shaking his head as he pulled back to look at you. “Go call out.”

[blueiscoool]

2,300-Year-Old Punic Tomb Complex Found in Malta

A 2,300-year-old Punic tomb was discovered during work in a car park near Mater Dei Hospital in Msida, Malta.

The archaeological discovery was made during trenching works near Mater Dei Hospital while preparing the site for the installation of a new potable water line.

The Superintendence of Cultural Heritage (SCH) has been overseeing the site since the start of the project, ensuring the protection and study of any potential discoveries during development works.

An excavation revealed a chamber hewn out of solid natural rock. After additional examination by the SCH’s on-site archaeology monitors, it was found that the chamber was a component of a larger burial complex.

The discovery consists of three burial chambers, each accessed through a central shaft, characteristic of Punic and Roman tombs. It is thought to have been used for multiple inhumations during the Punic and Roman periods. Remarkably, the entrance to each chamber was sealed with original slabs, and the contents inside included human remains and grave goods.

The burial chambers were meticulously excavated over two weeks by a committed team of SCH archaeologists and osteologists. The human remains were primarily inhumations, with some cremated remains stored in urns. The fact that many of the bones were arranged in a methodical manner raises the possibility that earlier remains were moved to make room for later burials. There were several inhumations in each chamber, with at least six in Chambers 2 and 3 and at least two in Chamber 1. A small collection of grave goods and cremation urns were also discovered, offering important new information about the burial customs of the time.

A team of experts, has been working on site to excavate, document, and interpret the remains, some of which have been transferred to the laboratory of the superintendence for further analysis.

Researchers will examine the remains for evidence of the age, sex, and health of the individuals, and conduct DNA analysis.

“The findings, which include skeletal remains, cremation urns, and other funerary artifacts, provide valuable insight into the ancient community that once inhabited the region. Preliminary analysis indicates a Punic timeline, although some artifacts suggest an extended period of use into the early Roman era,” the Foundation for Medical Services and SCH said.

Efforts are underway to ensure the tomb is retained in its entirety, with plans for permanent controlled access to allow for continued study and preservation of this significant archaeological site.

By Oguz Kayra.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 9

Into the Woods

Note: I almost called this recap "There's Something in the Glade There" but I figured I'm go for the less obscure reference.

Welcome back to Fantasy High and, more specifically, to the Vulture Dimension where our intrepid heroes have been shunted after Kristen, in a moment of peril, decided to “Hey Girlie” a random vulture in the middle of a fight. In fairness to her, she was out of spells at the time but, let’s be real, odds are good that this would have happened regardless. 

The Bad Kids are immediately faced with the giant, screeching Vulture King who demands that they answer his riddle and asks if they want to do it individually or simultaneously. Because they have a higher sense of chaos than self preservation, the majority votes for simultaneously which means they all have to answer the same thing at the same time and the Vulture King will kill them if they try any shenanigans (and ooh do they try). Lucky for them the riddle is a multiple choice question: Vultures-Yea or Nay?  Everyone says yea and the Vulture King happily says they all pass. Adventuring Party note: Brennan did have a whole fight planned for if they failed the “riddle” so it’s a good thing they got the nonsense out of their system before they answered. Especially because, contrary to what they assume, time doesn’t pass differently in the vulture dimension. The fight is still happening! As a prize for solving the riddle of the vulture dimension, the King has his minions rip his body apart and his viscera become magic items the party can take, which they do as they exit back to the fight. 

Back at the Festival, the battlefield has changed. More people have fled, the girls washer and dryer are fighting, and Grix is casting Hold Person on Ruben. I won’t give a blow by blow here but suffice to say, they finish up the fight and Fabian gets the killing blow, committing Principal-cide before we’re even halfway through the season. Gorgug, uncharacteristically pissed, gets on mic and tells everyone to get off his lawn and leave his house. Fig, as Wanda, gets a 30 to create an illusion of her leaving on a bus while Ruben desperately chases after her. Shortly after that, Agent Clark shows up asking about the Wanda sighting but Gorgug is absolutely not having cop behavior on his property and asks for a warrant, oinking at him when he admits he doesn’t have one and retreats. Our boy is *aggro* today!

Everyone goes to check on Grix’s body to see if they can figure out what that dude’s damage is. Gorgug thinks there might be something related to the Cloud Rider engine happening but, with a 21 Tinker's Tools check, finds nothing. Grix’s hard drive is encrypted and bears Aguefort’s arcane mark (an on-fire egg and an open book). Adaine’s Identify spell doesn’t clock him as anything other than what we’ve been told he is: an automaton made by Aguefort (and stored at school) to maintain order. Curiously, we are specifically told that he had directives to enforce school bylaws, make sure nothing hinky is happening while the superintendent's office might be investigating, and to leave campus to take care of things that might be a direct threat to the existence of the school. 

Fig wonders if someone tampered with the school’s bylaws to make him act in such an an-Aguefort manner. Riz wonders if making a crazy robot by not thinking things through is exactly what Aguefort would do but thinks the bylaws idea is good to follow up on. Fabian says Mazey, as school prez, might be a good person to ask about bylaws. 

Riz has another idea: What if Ruben and his band were executing some kind of ritual with their performance? Fig notes that there were/are no other Rat Grinders around which feels suspicious while Riz, Kristen, and Adaine investigate the stage. Under the stage, they find these glowing singers/power connectors that are giving off a faint, red glow. They aren’t in an obvious pattern but Gorgug notices they don’t make any sense the way they’re set up–you wouldn’t set up connectors that way for effective electrical wiring. Riz notices there are 24 of them just like the rage stars and where Ruben was standing would be the center. 

Fig wants to question Ruben but he’s gone, still chasing the ghost of Wanda Childa. A victim of her own success! When Gorgug unplugs the power source that’s powering the stingers, there’s not a release of energy. It seems like whatever was going on with them has already happened. He also notices that there was one under each speaker and everyone realizes that the lyrics of Ruben’s song were all about getting mad: probably rage god related! 

Riz wonders if the other Rat Grinders were pressuring Lucy to switch to the Rage god (and *I’m* wondering if this rage god was the reason for Ruben’s switch for acoustic guitar to emo screamo) and Adaine suggests they go to the Farhaven Woods to talk to the rats that they were so fond of grinding. 

Kristen tracks down a rat to talk to and Fabian eats the raw guts of a full vulture to activate a magical item that will allow him to speak with animals before realizing that he completely misunderstood the item. Whoops. He gets it right the second time (eating the V King’s tongue)  and they’re able to have a very illuminating conversation with Spot–a rat that got a Nat 20 on his history check about Lucy. 

Spot says that they didn’t like the Rat Grinders very much because they were always killing them but, around Sophomore Year, Lucy started coming back after her party left to resurrect the dead rats so they liked her a lot. Fabian asks about if the RG’s had a hideout and Spot says they hung out all over the place but there’s one place he and the other rats like to go because it was the last place…he trails off. After a brief interlude about the Rat World under the school (don’t worry about it) and a Bardic from Fig (DO worry about it), Spot agrees to take them to the special place. 

By now, it’s late and Fig and Kristen have a short conversation about how this is all very Cassandra vibes. The shards Kristen carries glows and she vows to find Cass’s husband (or WIFE, cuts in Adaine the ally. Don’t assume). 

As they approach the lake, Fabian feels his stomach get upset and, before anyone can do anything, an owl swoops down and eats Spot. RIP. Please, hold an exorcism for Fig you guys I’m BEGGING you. Anyway, Riz comes in hot with a Nat 20 Investigation check which means that Brennan has to give them EVERYTHING. 

There are a bunch of violently felled, rotten trees around them and expertly hidden under vines and foliage Riz finds the body…of Yolanda Badgood! That’s Kristen’s teacher that she informed about Lucy a few eps back. Last we heard she was going to talk to Jace about it. The body seems like it was taken apart by force damage (which Emily thinks is Steel Wind Strike which we do know that Grix has, for the record). There’s no magical residue (which either means no magic or great cleanup) and it’s about 3 hours dead. Three hours ago is also around when Ruben was playing. 

Kristen tries to cast Raise Dead but she finds that something is preventing her. Yolanda’s ribs are cracked and in the center of the sternum is something she can’t see–specifically there is something there that she can tell is there but is effectively censored–she realizes that it’s the sigil of the dead god’s name and it has been stamped here in some kind of unholy last rites to keep Yolanda’s soul trapped. Adaine switches her diviner vision to the ethereal plane which allows her to spot the sigil in another place. That helps them find Lucy’s dead body under a tree because the same process was done to her. 

Lucy has clearly been dead for months and her body looks like it was attacked by many assailants–weapons and magic. There’s also something weird about the soil around where these bodies and the sigil are. The plants’ roots are almost refusing to grow. And Fabian notices that Lucy’s blood vessels were crushed with such force that the blood has carbonized and turned to diamonds (Adaine–no).

Gorgug looks at the trees and thinks that based on how violently they were felled and they way they’ve broken, someone fought a giant here (unclear if that means an actual giant or Lucy herself being giant-kin) and the tree on Lucy was put there intentionally to hide the body (which suggests a non-Lucy giant being involved). 

It's about 3am. Kristen tries for a Divine Intervention and fails. Then she remembers what Yolanda said about how since Cass is gone, she’s the one who has to work the miracles of doubt. Kristen reaches out her awareness to her goddess and hears some words: Spies, Tongue, Curse. 

There’s a discussion about whether they should report this so that Lucy’s parents can at least have the closure of her body being found that ends inconclusively but Adaine gets a sample of the weird soil so Riz can take it to his soil club buddy Molman (Riz Gukgak: king of the dweebs!). 

Kristen starts an impromptu, ad hoc ceremony, combining Spare the Dying with her sadness that Yolanda is dead and her regret for not being a better student to a teacher she actually really liked. She places one of Cass’s shards on Yolana’s chest and the sigil loses its grip on her. Her soul is no longer stuck. Kristen quickly does the same for Lucy and Gorgug and Fabian witness the souls of Lucy and Yolanda holding hands and moving on. Kristen may be a so-so student and a meh evangelizer but gods, she’s a GOOD cleric. And a much more useful one now because as soon as this happens, she regains her spellcasting! How? Don't ask too many questions. Her domain is doubt. The logic can be fuzzy. 

Fig gets a Nat 20 to cover their tracks and, with their limited time, she chooses to cover the tracks leading directly to the body, not the ones that show they were in the woods. Riz/Murph hilariously points out something I say all the time–this is a magical world where Zone of Truth exists. If anyone accuses them of killing the women, they can just submit to a truth spell. Once they leave the woods, Fabian calls the cops with a fake name and a voice filter and idk why he thought Brennan would make the cops helpful. They’re transferred to Agent Clark at the Council of Chosen almost right away and Fabian hangs up as Clark starts to trace the call. 

With that, we enter another period of downtime! 

Riz is up first. He rolls Academics first (DC 5) and tries to find the Rogue prof–he needs a 30 for that but “only” gets a 25 which is still an A. Next is Extracurriculars (DC 10) which he gets a 22 on even with disadvantage. He hands off the soil to Molman who is excited to check it out but gets suspiciously aggro when he sniffs it (though it’s played as a joke). Third track is Popularity (DC 15) and with a 19, he’s gathering all sorts of freaks and geeks to vote for Kristen. He doesn’t roll for Relationships which means that he’s not spending that much time with his Mom and he misses her visit to the cemetery to see his dad. He runs into her after the visit and amidst the guilt, asks about her Frostfair case. She said the case folded and he wants to know about that so she says she’ll drive him to school and they can talk about it on the way. We don’t get that conversation this episode so put a pin in it for now. 

Fabian drops some cash on some nurses with B12 shots to help his friends relax, but, due to the mechanic, they can’t roll relaxation later than third to benefit and Relaxation has to be the last track they roll.

On to Gorgug! He decides that it’s time to take care of business and rolls Barbarian first (DC 5) since Porter says that he won’t sign his MCAT without an A+. He doesn’t make it at first but, luckily, his party includes a Div Wizard. Adaine drops a portent roll on him and he clears it with ease as she helps him study. She also starts having visions of him spellcasting while raging and specifically, a vision of him doing that while making a big triumphant leap at a party (which is described as Fabian’s bday party–I assume this is the same party she had a vision of before but I previously thought it was a campaign victory party or Gorgug/Riz’s bday. I will also say, Brennan has specifically mentioned the glowing moon each time. Anyway, moving on). 

Emboldened by his success, Gorgug slams down the door and tells Porter he sucks. Porter is loving this energy and asks about the video of him oinking at a cop. Where has THAT energy been this whole time? Porter finally has a solid conversation with Gorgug and tells him that he has to give himself permission to get angry when he feels it rather than always smoothing it down, especially when he literally gives himself permission to murder people on the regular. He signs Gorgug’s MCAT and tells him about an optional exam called the Last Stand which is kind of a loophole that Aguefort built in to help kids screwed over by bureaucratic rules. He says if Gorgug needs it at the end of the semester then they can talk more and that there are definitely kids who are gonna need it this year because he heard a full class went pass fail. Kristen realizes that her teacher straight up died so that class might be her class. And that will affect a lot of parties potentially because almost everyone has a cleric. Finishing up with Academics, his Artificer 1 (DC 10) is a 23 (A+). His Art 2 (DC 15) is a DC 15. He takes a stress when he fails and passes with a C. Art 3 (DC 20) he also passes with a C once Riz takes a stress for him. He has a talk with Henry, his teacher, who says he needs to buckle down because things are getting rough though he understands there are only so many hours in the day…unless he builds a time machine of course. It’s said like a joke but this is the chronomancy 4 life school so who knows. Gorgug says he’s gonna do better, especially since he has his MCAT now. He also rolls for Owlbears (DC 25) and gets a 26, managing to not get kicked off! Gorthalax is thrilled. With all that rolling for school he doesn’t have time to roll for Relationships and his bio parents head back before he has a chance to hang out with them. Just like Riz, he feels bad about having missed the chance to connect.  

Now, let’s check in with the elven Oracle. Adaine rolls Academics first (DC 5) and gets a 15 which is an A but not an A+. She takes it and Prof Runstaff says that her spellwork is immaculate but she needs better materials. Adaine swallows her frustration at that and, over the weekend, she gets a text from Aelwyn: Can't believe I'm gonna say this. Miss my little sister. Everything all right? Adaine asks for her to come to Basrar’s so they can talk and Aelwyn does. She fills Adaine in on her living situation (TEN CATS???) and seems genuinely concerned and appalled that Adaine is working as a waitress in an attempt to solve her diamond problem. As she correctly points out, that math on that just doesn’t add up. She gets Adaine to take her break, abjures some annoying Falinel elf who’s trying to get Adaine to do oracle stuff, and says that there are other ways to make money besides waitressing. Adaine is suspicious and those suspicions are proven true when Aelwyn reveals that she’s been getting her extra cash by working for none other than Kipperlilly Copperkettle. Just can’t help yourself from working for bitchy, blonde, Aguefort girls huh?

Honor Roll

Kristen for Being A Damn Good Cleric

Listen, I have stuff to say about Kristen the student and Kristen the sole manager of a religion but I can’t say anything about Kristen as a Cleric in the purest sense of the word. When the chips are down and she’s locked in, she’s truly untouchable in her field. And outside of just the raw power, her genuine emotion and care for Lucy and Yolanda was really touching. She may have a C in class but right now she’s getting an A+ when it counts. 

Detention

Fabian for Eating A Normal Ass Raw Vulture

This is honestly more just for his own safety than to punish him. Reading is fundamental my guy! So is cooking raw meat! (Though idk how much that will help when the animal you’re eating mainly eats ROTTING CORPSES). 

Random Thoughts

I wonder if Aguefort had an ulterior motive for going on a semester-long vacation this year. Perhaps avoiding an investigation he knew was coming?

Given Lou is playing Fabian as oblivious to Adaine’s money troubles, how insane must it be to watch your “rich” friend for a moment consider robbing a dead person’s blood for diamonds?

RIP Yolanda :( You would have loved to know that Kristen got her spellcasting back. 

Very predictable of me but I’m so psyched to jump right into Abernant stuff at the top of next episode. Aelwyn said she was gonna get them sandwiches and Dimension Door them to the wreckage of their burned down mansion. That’s SO dramatic. I missed her so much. Also very curious to know to what level Aelwyn is working with KP. In her mind is this an evil plan she’s working on or does she just know KP hired her to do something maybe slightly shady but not evil? I assume this is what she was doing when she texted Adaine back that winky face. Does she know Adaine hates her? Because Adaine is very not subtle about it. We’ll see next week! 

(Also, “miss my little sister”. Ugh, love. And I love that she seems genuinely concerned in a sisterly way about Adaine’s money troubles).  

There’s the matter of what Kristen got from Cass: Spies, Tongue, Curse. In the episode, they speculated that Tongue is Fabian because he had just eaten the Vulture King’s tongue to speak to Spot and the Curse was Fig for obvious reasons. If they’re correct and the words all match up to a different Bad Kid then spy is likely Riz or Adaine. Riz because of all his spy gadgets or Adaine because with this revelation from Aelwyn that she has dirt that she’s willing to share on KP/presenting KP as a potential way to make money, she could be the spy. 

The fact that Grix can intervene outside of school if there is a threat to the school’s existence is a big clue. It seems likely that he was trying to ice Ruben, not for any drugs he may have done but to stop the ritual he was doing. We don’t really know what it was about or how much he (Ruben) even knew about but it’s hard to imagine that it was a fun, chill ritual.  

Lucy’s body seems to have been destroyed by a party of diverse adventurers, potentially her own party which would be messed up. But we have to consider the possibility that they didn’t do it on purpose. Those Rage Mages killed their friends in the mall fight and that wasn’t on purpose. And I can see dumbass teens covering their tracks. 

Lucy being dead and her soul being trapped to her body makes the fact that Fig’s disguise didn’t phase her at the party even more baffling. Ivy, what games are you playing???

Lucy named Spot :(

Let the record show that my autocorrect also thinks that KP has four (dog) names:

[feminist-space]

"Just weeks before the implosion of AllHere, an education technology company that had been showered with cash from venture capitalists and featured in glowing profiles by the business press, America’s second-largest school district was warned about problems with AllHere’s product.

As the eight-year-old startup rolled out Los Angeles Unified School District’s flashy new AI-driven chatbot — an animated sun named “Ed” that AllHere was hired to build for $6 million — a former company executive was sending emails to the district and others that Ed’s workings violated bedrock student data privacy principles.

Those emails were sent shortly before The 74 first reported last week that AllHere, with $12 million in investor capital, was in serious straits. A June 14 statement on the company’s website revealed a majority of its employees had been furloughed due to its “current financial position.” Company founder and CEO Joanna Smith-Griffin, a spokesperson for the Los Angeles district said, was no longer on the job.

Smith-Griffin and L.A. Superintendent Alberto Carvalho went on the road together this spring to unveil Ed at a series of high-profile ed tech conferences, with the schools chief dubbing it the nation’s first “personal assistant” for students and leaning hard into LAUSD’s place in the K-12 AI vanguard. He called Ed’s ability to know students “unprecedented in American public education” at the ASU+GSV conference in April.

Through an algorithm that analyzes troves of student information from multiple sources, the chatbot was designed to offer tailored responses to questions like “what grade does my child have in math?” The tool relies on vast amounts of students’ data, including their academic performance and special education accommodations, to function.

Meanwhile, Chris Whiteley, a former senior director of software engineering at AllHere who was laid off in April, had become a whistleblower. He told district officials, its independent inspector general’s office and state education officials that the tool processed student records in ways that likely ran afoul of L.A. Unified’s own data privacy rules and put sensitive information at risk of getting hacked. None of the agencies ever responded, Whiteley told The 74.

...

In order to provide individualized prompts on details like student attendance and demographics, the tool connects to several data sources, according to the contract, including Welligent, an online tool used to track students’ special education services. The document notes that Ed also interfaces with the Whole Child Integrated Data stored on Snowflake, a cloud storage company. Launched in 2019, the Whole Child platform serves as a central repository for LAUSD student data designed to streamline data analysis to help educators monitor students’ progress and personalize instruction.

Whiteley told officials the app included students’ personally identifiable information in all chatbot prompts, even in those where the data weren’t relevant. Prompts containing students’ personal information were also shared with other third-party companies unnecessarily, Whiteley alleges, and were processed on offshore servers. Seven out of eight Ed chatbot requests, he said, are sent to places like Japan, Sweden, the United Kingdom, France, Switzerland, Australia and Canada.

Taken together, he argued the company’s practices ran afoul of data minimization principles, a standard cybersecurity practice that maintains that apps should collect and process the least amount of personal information necessary to accomplish a specific task. Playing fast and loose with the data, he said, unnecessarily exposed students’ information to potential cyberattacks and data breaches and, in cases where the data were processed overseas, could subject it to foreign governments’ data access and surveillance rules.

Chatbot source code that Whiteley shared with The 74 outlines how prompts are processed on foreign servers by a Microsoft AI service that integrates with ChatGPT. The LAUSD chatbot is directed to serve as a “friendly, concise customer support agent” that replies “using simple language a third grader could understand.” When querying the simple prompt “Hello,” the chatbot provided the student’s grades, progress toward graduation and other personal information.

AllHere’s critical flaw, Whiteley said, is that senior executives “didn’t understand how to protect data.”

...

Earlier in the month, a second threat actor known as Satanic Cloud claimed it had access to tens of thousands of L.A. students’ sensitive information and had posted it for sale on Breach Forums for $1,000. In 2022, the district was victim to a massive ransomware attack that exposed reams of sensitive data, including thousands of students’ psychological evaluations, to the dark web.

With AllHere’s fate uncertain, Whiteley blasted the company’s leadership and protocols.

“Personally identifiable information should be considered acid in a company and you should only touch it if you have to because acid is dangerous,” he told The 74. “The errors that were made were so egregious around PII, you should not be in education if you don’t think PII is acid.”

Read the full article here:

https://www.the74million.org/article/whistleblower-l-a-schools-chatbot-misused-student-data-as-tech-co-crumbled/

[lboogie1906]

Rekia Boyd November 5, 1989 - March 21, 2012) a woman was murdered by Dante Servin, a white off-duty Chicago police detective, who contributed to the Black Lives Matter Movement. Her death came under questionable circumstances.

She was born in Chicago. She moved with her family to Dolton, Illinois. On March 21, 2012, she was hanging out with friends at Douglas Park on Chicago’s West Side at a party, listening to music while having a few drinks. Around 1:00 am, she and some of her friends walked to a nearby liquor store. Servin was just finishing his shift at his second job. He was off duty, heading to a fast food restaurant for a hamburger, but Servin drove to Douglas Park after a citizen called police about a noise complaint. Servin saw her and her friends and claimed they were arguing in an alley. Whether Servin calmly approached her and her friends or was rude and aggressive is still debated. One of her friends, Antonio Cross, claimed that Servin attempted to buy drugs from the group. When Cross told Servin to “get his crackhead ass out of here,” Servin pulled a gun, stuck it out of the window of his car, and fired into the group, hitting her in the head. She was instantly killed, and Cross was shot in the hand.

After the shooting, the Chicago Police Department defended Servin’s actions and arrested Cross. The police department claimed that Servin had discharged his weapon after Cross had approached him with a gun. Upon investigation, it was discovered that Cross was holding a cell phone.

In November 2013, Servin was charged with involuntary manslaughter. On April 20, 2015, he was cleared of all charges following a bench trial by Judge Dennis J. Porter. On November 24, 2015, Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy called for Dante Servin to be fired by the Chicago Police Board. On May 17, 2016, Servin resigned from the police force. The city of Chicago also paid $4.5 million to her family. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #blm

[southernprideyall2]

The year was 1864, and for three years the Federal Army had tried everything to defeat the Confederate forces. Many battles had been fought with both sides winning and losing. Casualty counts were far beyond what anyone had considered possible. General Lee's Army of Northern Virginia had lost a major battle at Gettysburg, but the South's willingness to fight for their independence had not diminished.

Federal strategy began to focus on destroying the South's infrastructure which supplied Confederate forces in the field. In May, Federal General Franz Sigel's army began its march from Winchester, intent on destroying the Virginia Central Railroad located in Staunton. If successful, General Lee's Army would no longer receive the rich stores and supplies from the Shenandoah Valley.

To stop the Federal advance, the sparse Confederate forces under the command of General John C. Breckinridge and General John D. Imboden gathered all the troops they could muster. The Virginia Military Institute's Superintendent Francis Smith was asked if his "School Boy Soldiers" would fall in. Taught from the very beginning at VMI the principles of duty and honor, the young men were eager to prove their worth as soldiers. The cadets marched for 4 days covering 80 muddy miles from Lexington to New Market in the drenching rain.

The battle of New Market began in earnest on the stormy morning of the 15th with lightning, thunder, and cannon fire echoing across the valley. General Breckinridge had not wanted to deploy his 250 young VMI cadets, and held them in a reserve position on the battlefield. But when a large gap opened in the center line of battle, Breckinridge with tears in his eyes said, "Put the boys in, and may God forgive me for the order."

As the boys moved forward behind their colors the storm greatly intensified, with lightning, thunder and driving rain. Now in the eye of the storm, under heavy cannon and musket fire the cadets began taking casualties. Undeterred, they fought forward through a low section of the field with standing water and deep mud, with a number of the boys losing their socks and shoes. A 12 pound Napoleon cannon was abandoned in the face of the cadet's charge, which the cheering boys captured. A Confederate officer watching the cadets said their charge "surpassed anything that I witnessed during the war."

General Breckinridge would later ride to their position and say "Young gentlemen, I have you to thank for the result of today's operations. Well done, Virginians...well done men!"

The actions of those brave cadets fulfilled the motto of VMI, and would be remembered daily from that day forward. "In Bellō Praesidium - In War A Tower Of Strength".

[summerrosie08]

RELATIVITY FALLS AU DESCRIPTIONS

PT. 2

SOOS RAMIERZ: (Kinda viewed as a Kook) Soos or Mr. R as people like to call him. Is the 60-something year old that runs the local town fix-it up shop! He can fix anything from cars, houses, pipes, etc! He loves to help those in need and offers quite a low price for his services. Many people view him as odd or strange since he uses terms such as “dawg” or “dude” that affiliate with the younger generation terminology. He rarely talks to anyone else that isn’t close to him. And mainly focuses on his job. The only time you see him is in his shop, working, or buying food at Greasy’s Diner. Although he seems like a busy work guy, he was the first person to befriend (although it was slightly) Dipper Pines in the town.

WENDY CORDUROY: (Takes Manly Dan’s place) Wendy is the town’s local lumberjack/partial construction worker, the 60-something year old is still laid back and cool as ever. She is the much older cousin to Boyish Dan, she raises him as her own after the death of his parents. She often stops by the Mystery Craft store, dropping wood off for Mabel’s projects.. or when it often needs repairing her and Soos stop by to fix it. She also assisted Dipper in building his shack when he first moved into Gravity Falls. Although a couple years older than him, when she first was building the shack he would always seem to flush or be awkward in her presence. He was probably nervous.. likely not though.. but meeting new people can be hard! He slightly befriended her though..!

GRENDA GRENDINATOR: The Greasy Diner’s head waitress. Having rumored once to have dated a prince! The 60-something year old definitely loves to talk and slightly gossip to everyone. She especially loves to keep up on all the cheesy romance books and movies. Right away when Mabel moved to Gravity Falls, the two instantly clicked becoming best-friends! They often like to talk to each other about their love lives. She was Mabel’s biggest supporter when her brother mysteriously ‘died’ she had even prevented herself from gossiping about it in respect for Mabel.

PACIFCIA NORTHWEST: Still rich as can be even in her early 60s. Mother of the teen Preston Northwest. Pacifica is the local charity organizer and the superintendent to Gravity Falls. She is rich and snobby, although she never much liked Dipper Pines when he moved in. But he didn’t talk much and he did his fair share of donations, so she didn’t mind him. But Mabel on the other case.. being the obnoxious and overly energetic older lady. Who would donate sweets or trinkets to sell at charity events would never send her fair share of cash. Which would enrage Pacficia, as a one sided rivalry would begin between the two.

(Sorry to disappoint you all but Pacficia x Mabel and Dipper x Pacficia will not be canon in this universe!)

GIDEON GLEEFUL: The town’s 50-something year old mayor.. that sure loves to make pins with his face on it. Although he appears sweet, helpful and caring (In someways he is) he is downright annoying. Always wooing the town with gifts, a new tree planted or kissing a baby on the head. He really isn’t the best at being a mayor outside of campaigning for his image. Usually his trusted cousin? Nephew? No one really knows asides from that their related somehow, his relative the young and quite spurley young adult Buddy Gleeful assists him with his duty.. Especially as her chases after Mabel.

[system-design-hospital]

Day 2: Visiting a hospital

After a lot of infighting and straight up civil war drama rivalling the Mahabharata, our new group rose like a phoenix out of the ashes and we changed our space to Sri Krishna AYUSH. Ayurvedic Hospital. We visited the facility. It was the only medical college in Kurukshetra.

Context of the place

Shri Krishna AYUSH University, established by the Haryana Government under Act No. 25 of 2017, began its operations in the academic year 2018-19. Headquartered in Sector 8, Kurukshetra, Haryana, it is the first university of its kind in the world to offer all AYUSH courses. This university plays a pivotal role in the affiliation and regulation of Ayurveda courses across government and private colleges in Haryana.

Tour of the Hospital

We walked in through the emergency block and tried to soak everything in and get a feel for the place and later found out about the main entrance. There, we spoke to the medical superintendant, Dr. Rajender Singh who introduced us to Dr. Priya, an intern who is doing PG. She gave us a tour of the place, meticulously explaining everything in great detail.

Dr. Priya started with the OPDs and explained what the purpose of each ward was. She guided us through the entire hospital starting with the lobby where patients are instructed to get a slip with their name, age and sex.

They get assigned to specific departments based on your ailment represented by a number of the slip. Later, she walked us through all the outpatient departments on the ground floor and the accompanying waiting areas. A general sense of uncleanness was observed with the washrooms and water coolers.

The following departments and wards were seen-

GROUND FLOOR 1. Reception 2. Dispensery 3. Medical Superintendent office 4. Emergency Ward 5. OT Block 6. Swasthy raksha (yoga room) 7. Stri rog OPD (gynaecology) 8. Shalya tantra OPD (stomach) 9. Shalakya OPD (eyes) 10. Shalakya OPD sub unit (nose and throat) 11. Balrog OPD (paediatrics) 12. Kriya karg OPD (child treatment) 13. Kriya OPD (physiology) 14. Kayachikitsa OPD (general medicine) 15. Dravyagun (drug testing) 16. Rasa shastra 17. Agni karma 18. Rakt Moksh

FIRST FLOOR 1. Medical record room 2. Narcotics treatment room 3. Kayachikitsa female ward 4. Deputy MS office 5. Matron office 7. Clinical Lab 8. Nurse Staff duty room 9. Panchkarma reception 10. Panchkarma OPD

Panchkarma

We then proceeded to go one floor upwards where the inpatient wards were located. Separate wards existed for male and female. The wards were mostly not occupied with a lot of empty beds. However, there was a long line which extended far beyond the waiting area outside the Panchkarma OPD. There were two people stationed on a bench managing the people and clearing any doubts they had.

Dr. Priya explained what Panchkarma was. It means to detox. It is an Ayurvedic treatment that helps cleanse and heal the body. It involves five main methods:

Vamana (Therapeutic Vomiting): Removes toxins from the stomach.

Virechana (Purgation): Cleanses the intestines using herbal laxatives.

Basti (Enema Therapy): Uses medicated oils or herbal decoctions to cleanse the colon.

Nasya (Nasal Administration): Clears the head and sinuses by applying herbal oils through the nose.

Raktamokshana (Bloodletting): Purifies the blood, traditionally done by controlled blood removal.

Clinical Lab

Later, we proceeded towards the pathology lab. There was a general lack of organisation. Urine samples were placed on the table out in the open. We were introduced to advanced machinery like the centrifuge. Syringes and other meds were stored in the refrigerator.

OT Block

Then we went to the Operation Theatre Block. This part, the Major OT was still under construction with exposed concrete walls, but the minor OT was functional with surgeries being conducted. Dr. Priya showed us the various instruments. There was a labor room which was not occupied.

Agnikarma

Finally, we were in the agnikarma department where Dr. Priya introduced us to various instruments to treat joint pain without the need for painkillers. The shalaka was one such tool. The pointed end is heated and then briefly touched to the skin to treat various ailments like joint pain, musculoskeletal issues, and certain skin conditions. Aloe vera and turmeric were common treatment methods. Bowls were placed for cupping therapy. To our astonishment, Dr. Priya picked up a container from the shelves and showed us leeches inside. The saliva of leeches contain anticoagulants. While feeding on the blood, these substances are released into the bloodstream thereby helping in improving blood flow and reducing symptoms of varicose veins.

Exploring more

After the tour was over, we decided to split up and observe different areas all over the hospital. We made a list of all the equipments, items, and other stuff kept inside every ward. Then we started observing the people around us.

Since we had enough information about the structure of the hospital, and we were tired and hungry, we decided to leave and come back tomorrow to uncover more. bye.

[mightyflamethrower]

Chicago businesses are already boarding up their storefronts downtown ahead of Monday’s opening of the Democratic National Convention in anticipation of mass rioting and violence.

Plywood shielding first began showing up Thursday morning as the city’s shopping district opened for business.

“As we know, this city has a poor track record when it comes to protecting businesses,” Scott Shapiro, owner of Syd Jerome, told Chicago’s WLS-TV.

Matthew Perdie/Breitbart News

“We felt it was more prudent to board up, since our customers and their employers have told them to stay home throughout the convention for their own safety,” Shapiro added.

It makes perfect sense for Shapiro to take precautions. His store was one of those destroyed during the riots in 2020.

The retailer added that he does not fear peaceful protesters, but is wary of “the people that embed themselves and take advantage of those protests for their own agenda.”

Shapiro is right to worry. News outlets have reported that violent protest groups are organizing. Some expect domestic terror organization Antifa as well as violence-prone pro-Hamas groups to target the Windy City and many worry that members are being bused into the city from outside.

He is far from the only one to board up his business. Plywood barriers are going up all across the Loop area and the rest of Chicago’s downtown retail sector.

Matthew Perdie/Breitbart News

One boarding company told the media that they have had 40 calls this week alone to begin boarding up the city’s retail businesses.

Meanwhile, the Chicago Police Department (CPD) is warning protesters that violence and property damage will not be tolerated.

CPD Superintendent Larry Snelling warned that the First Amendment does not act as cover for “criminal acts.”

ABC7 reported that Snelling told CNN:

There is a distinct difference between the riot and a peaceful protest, or people who are simply actually exercising their first amendment rights. The first amendment for tat [sic] actions does not include rioting, it doesn’t include criminal acts … It doesn’t include breaking the law. It doesn’t include violence, vandalism, those things that we are not going to tolerate in our city. But if people are showing up here to exercise their first amendment rights, they’re doing it peacefully lawfully, we’re going to protect their rights to do that.”

“The minute that starts, we have to put an end to it,” Snelling said of violence and rioting, according to Chicago’s WBEZ radio. “When people become comfortable committing acts of violence and vandalism, that’s when it turns into a riot.”

Matthew Perdie/Breitbart News

Still, the CPD has also specified use of force rules, such as restricting use of batons to body and leg strikes and not the head or neck. And many officers have been notified of extended hours for next week, sparking worries of fatigue and overwork.

“We’re going to have to extend hours; there are going to be day-off cancellations,” the superintendent told the media. “But there [are] also wellness plans in place for our officers to make sure that, cognitively, our officers are effective when they’re responding.”

[sapphire-weapon]

uuuuggghhh my hometown was mentioned on the daily show for its "let's go brandon" store.

i don't like to talk about politics on here, ever, but i just gotta fuckin vent about this, man.

my mom actually just told me about this fucking store earlier today. she was like "i don't know how they even stay in business, because we drive around on the motorcycle* and look, and we're really not seeing trump signs up this year."

but now i guess we know how they've stayed in business. people literally travel from out of state to the store to pick up their whack merch.

it's just so embarrassing, and i don't know how much more embarrassment from my hometown i can fucking take LMAO like.

so toms river is direct neighbors with seaside heights, which is where the show "jersey shore" was filmed. it's a fifteen minute drive from my mom's house. i worked on that boardwalk when i was 17, and i still have the sweatshirt that my mob-connected boss gave me when i was freezing one day in early may. i also worked security in seaside park after super storm sandy, and i still have the photos on my phone of the devastation. i actually had a friend in high school who got arrested for throwing rocks at the jersey shore house. i've sucked dick on that beach before. me and my friends used to drive down to a fucking shack on the edge of town to pick up like a two-pound bag of clams and steam them in my buddy dan's fire pit in the summers. i love seaside. i always go to seaside whenever i go home, because i like to sit on the beach and fantasize about throwing myself into the ocean.

but, today, when you walk the boards, still -- still, the entire fucking boardwalk is just filled with jersey shore nonsense. and it makes me fucking cringe, bro. i wanna die of cringe.

and this isn't even the first time triver was mentioned on the daily show. klepper went to a fucking trump rally there that was being held on boats, and i just.

triver also made national headlines when the superintendent of the school district embezzled a fuckton of money a few years after i graduated and went to fucking prison for it.

i hate knowing i grew up in the reddest town in the reddest county in NJ, and every single time my home town or area gets mentioned, it's always for some embarrassing fucking thing.

how do you florida people fucking live like this I CAN'T STAND LIVING LIKE THIS LMAO

*my parents are 70 years old and retired, and their favorite "date night" is a motorcycle drive -- ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON -- through town to shitpost about their neighbors' political views. just to give you an idea of where i come from as a human being LMAO

[beardedmrbean]

A long-promised cellphone ban for New York City public schools could see students stashing their devices in $30 pouches bought by cash-strapped schools.

Students would be banned from using phones in schools starting in February, under the outlines of a plan first reported by Chalkbeat.

The ban would require school leaders to ring up their own policies to keep distracting phones out of students’ hands, either by collecting devices when the day begins or requiring students to carry phones in cloth cases called Yondr pouches that are magnetically locked until dismissal, according to the report.

Teachers, principals and a parent stressed that Department of Education officials have yet to provide guidance, but told The Post the rumored details raise questions of cost, practicality and whether it could help keep embarrassing incidents out of sight.

“They seem desperate to keep kids from filming things at school,” a parent leader said.

Videos taken by students at Hillcrest High School in Jamaica revealed kids running amok in November against a teacher who had attended a pro-Israel rally.

An education department spokesperson repeatedly declined to confirm details in the Chalkbeat report, only noting that “no decisions have been made at this time.”

Chancellor David Banks has promised that a citywide ban on cellphones is in the works as a move to avoid distractions and other problems in schools.

Yondr bills itself as a company that “creates phone-free spaces” through its pouches, which magnetically lock devices inside.

The company’s website boasts plaudits from entertainers such as Dave Chappelle and Jack White, who praised the pouches for keeping audiences engaged with comedy shows and concerts rather than buried in phones.

A citywide ban on phones in schools could mean the company will make a killing.

Policies on phones are current set school-by-school, with many already requiring students to stuff their devices into Yondr pouches.

 “We started using the Yondr pouches this year,” a Brooklyn principal told The Post.

The principal said it cost $30 a pouch and he had to pay for 50 of them out of his school’s budget.

The citywide ban plans first reported by Chalkbeat didn’t include extra money for schools to buy pouches.

Another principal said they wanted more guidance before they start collecting thousands of dollars worth of cellphones every day.

Donalda Chumney, ex-superintendent of Manhattan’s District 2 and now parent member of District 15 in Brooklyn, told The Post that any ban should allow kids to carry their phones to school.

Expecting 11-year olds to walk home in the dark after school with no phone simply doesn’t work as a safety decision in this day and age, she said.

“When I was a príncipal, kids brought phones to school and we collected them at the beginning of the day and gave them back at the end of the day,” she said. “Stored the phones in the main office. It was seamless.”

[sailor-toni]

The Evil Ghost Tyrant wants to Make Me His Heir? But I’m a sixteen year-old halfa!

You can also read this on A03, FF.Net, and Wattpad.

Chapter 1: No More Vegan Fridays

Original Prompt: Pariah Dark decides Danny has all the qualities he wants in an heir and forcibly adopts him. (Danny can either lose the fight to put him back in the Sarcophagus, Pariah can get out again later, or something else can happen.)

    It was a normal day in Amity Park, well as normal as things could get in the nation's most haunted city. The Lunch Lady had made the first ghostly pack with Casper High’s superintendent. He would allow her to curate and serve the menu for the rest of Casper High’s existence, in exchange for protecting the student body from ghosts, the Guys in White, and other threats. And Danny was loving every moment of it. 

For the first time in two years he almost felt normal again. His grades were above a D+, he could eat lunch without worry, and even Dash’s bullying had let up. The Lunch Lady had instituted a no bullying zone in the cafeteria, and would drag any offending student into the kitchen and force them to clean her dishes. Danny could only smile in delight as Dash was dragged through the room, through the lunch line, over the counter, and into the kitchen by a tentacle made of raw frozen meat (It had a plastic glove on the end, which meant it was safe to serve food. Nobody knew if that was true, but who was going to ask, not Danny!). 

It had been a stroke of guinness to suggest the idea to her. And this time Sam didn’t even come up with it first. Nothing could go wrong. 

“That woman is on my last nerve!” Sam slammed her tray on the table. 

“What did Paulina do this time?” Tucker asked between mouthfuls of sloppy joes. 

“It’s not Paulina, it’s the lunch lady, she refuses to accommodate vegetarian or non-meat eating students in her food planning,” Sam grumbled. If Danny’s eyes were not connected to his body, the two balls would roll out of his head and run a marathon. 

“Doesn't she have a salad you can choose instead of the main dish?” Danny said. 

“Half the time the salad has chicken or ham in it,” Sam said. 

“Yeah, Sam, that is what we call a chicken caesar salad or a chef’s salad.”  Tucker began to eat his second sloppy joe. 

“Tucker you know I can’t eat meat, this is discrimination!” 

“No discrimination is if she refused to provide kosher meat, which by the way, she has kosher meat in the back. You just got to ask for it. You just choose to not eat meat.” 

“I choose not to eat meat because it’s the right thing to do for our dying planet! The meat industry contributes more than 60% of greenhouse gasses in all of food production. Your obsession with killing poor animals is causing our planet to die, Tucker.” 

“You know the more you say that the less of an impact it has. Plus my parents split a cow with our neighbor at the local butcher. We don’t buy meat from the store.”

“How privileged of you. Many don’t have that choice, they have to buy from Wally-world and the Buck General.” 

“And how would changing the lunch menu change that?” Tucker bowed his head down and began licking the remaining sloppy joe off the lunch tray. 

“It would be a step in the right direction and -” 

“Tucker, have you ever wondered why every girl rejects you?” Danny had enough of this. 

“I think they are threatened by my manly aura,” Tucker had meat and juice running down his chin and staining his shirt. “Why do you ask?” 

“I was just wondering,” Danny said. 

“Well wonder no longer, for I have a plan for getting a date for junior prom,” Tucker Said. 

“Woah woah woah, don’t try to change the subject! This is a very serious issue!” Sam said. 

“Sam, you have enough money that you could get a vegan dish delivered to the school every day. Why does it matter if she makes sloppy joes once in a while?” Danny said.

“Because, she has no good alternatives for those who don’t have the money to buy lunches from restaurants every day,” 

“What does Paulina think of this?” Tucker asked, washing his face with a pocket wet wipe that appeared to be used. Or maybe they came pre-stained now? 

“One, that is gross. And two, my girlfriend agrees with me. There should be a good alternative for anyone who doesn't want to eat meat.”  

“Didn’t we discuss this two years ago when you convinced the school to do vegan Fridays or something?” Danny said. 

“I know what happened two years ago but this is different. She made a pact with the school to not harm students. So, now she has to listen to reason.” Sam said. 

“Sam, I'm sorry but that’s not gonna happen.” Tucker said. Danny agreed with him, it was hard enough going through the pact talks between the Lunch Lady and the school board. Her having a no meat day? Sam would have a better time convincing a boomer to have empathy.  

“That is where you’re wrong. I have started a petition to convince her to start offering tofu based dishes. I already have fifteen signatures,” Sam held out the paper, and Danny could see that Paulina had made the cheerleading team sign it. 

“I wish you luck,” Danny said. 

“Thank you Danny.” 

“You’re welcome Sam.” 

“Well don’t come to Danny and I when she turns you into next week's lunch,” Tucker said. 

“She can’t harm the students. If a ghost violates a ghostly pact a part of their core breaks off. And for weaker ghosts that could mean a final death,” Danny said. 

“She could wait till graduation day to turn you into ground meat,” 

“You know Tucker, I’ll start taking advice from you when you stop caring around used wet wipes.” 

“I’m being eco-friendly. Reduce, reuse, recycle Sam.” 

“You do know you have to do the last part eventually right? You can’t keep the same rag for more than a week?”

“Don’t worry. This one is only a week old,” Sam and Danny gagged. “I’m joking! I’ve only had this today, and it's still moist! Did you two actually think I would do that?” 

“Do we have to answer that?” Danny sighed. He leaned back on the table’s bench, resting his eyes in a sliver of afternoon sun that shined through the cafeteria’s tall windows. When a shadow came over him, blocking the sunlight. “This is a no bullying zone Dash,” Danny said.. 

“Danny…” Sam said, before leaning over and slapping his shoulder. 

“DANIEL JAMES FENTON, OR SHOULD I SAY YOUNG PHANTOM!” A deep voice boomed over the school. 

    Pariah Dark, King of the Ghost Zone stood at the window, his bleach white face taking up most of the window pane. 

Jumping to his feet Danny yelled, “How did you get out?” 

“CEASE CHILD, FOR I AM NAUGHT HERE FOR BATTLE. NAY, I HAVE COME FOR A REASON OF MY OWN CREATION. NOW LISTEN TO ME, FOR I HAVE GROWN OLD AND WEARY AND WISH TO SEE ANOTHER TAKE OVER IN MY STEAD. A PRINCE OF THE GHOST ZONE THAT WILL CONTINUE MY EFFORTS,” Pariah spoke. 

    Tendrils of frozen glove-covered meat swept across the laminate flooring, shielding students from the sight of the King’s large blood red eyes. From the wall of meat, The Lunch Lady floated towards them, her large green body shaking like a leaf. 

“Your Majesty,” Her voice was small and quiet, for once true to the old woman she was. “I’m afraid I can not allow you to talk to students without their parents permission first. I-I would suggest you go to the main office and sign yourself in. Please!” 

“BEGONE WOMAN, FOR I HAVE NOT GIVEN YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK!” 

“I cannot sir. You m-might be king b-b-buttt…” Her hands were twisted in her dress, sweat began dripping down her face. “You need to follow school rules! The rules are in place to protect the children, and, and, and it’s my jo-b-b to” Pariah’s gaze focused upon her. “Protect them.” Tears freely flowed from her eyes. Danny watched his first real enemy, turned into a babbling old woman, putting on a very brave face.

“YOU DARE TO THREATEN ME? I HAVE NOT COME BRING VIOLENCE AMONG YOU BUT IF THIS FOOLISHNESS PERSIT I WILL BE FORCED TO REMIND YOU WHO IS KING!” 

“How about you pick on someone your own size!” Danny yelled. He stood in front of the old woman, arms ready. 

“I AM MERELY PUTTING HER IN HER PLACE,” 

“Well maybe it's time someone showed you your place!” White rings shined from his waist, and covered his body, turning his clothes into a black jumpsuit and his hair a vibrant white. The cafeteria erupted into murmurs and whispers.  

A red head in the back yelled, “I told y'all so!” 

    This business was quickly left behind as Danny flew through the air, phasing his body through the window and sending a blot of green energy into Pariah’s remaining eye. 

“AUGH! DO YOU NOT LISTEN?” He yelled. 

“According to my teachers, no,” now outside, he could see that the King had to kneel to see through the window. 

    Rising to his full height, the Ghost King stood a head taller than Casper High’s famous clock tower. Danny thought that if the King was a tad taller, his ego would form its own gravitational pull. 

Fire lashed out, spreading through the air. His body twisted around the flames before plugging close to the grass. Black filled his vision as a gloved hand grabbed him. 

“LET ME TEACH YOU YOUR FIRST LESSON!” Pariah said. 

“Can you say that a little louder? I don’t think the Chinese heard you!”

“Sorry. Let this be the first lesson I teach you, to listen when another is speaking,” pariah’s voice dropped several volumes. “I, Pariah Dark, King of the Ghost Zone, wish to name you my heir.” 

“What? Why? I locked you back in that box!” 

“That is one of the reasons I have made this decision. Only you were strong enough to assemble an army of other ghosts, attack my castle, and defeat me. That should be enough to prove your worthiness. Now let us go to my castle. We have many things to discuss and many lessons I must teach you before you take the throne.” 

“How about no! I’m only sixteen! I haven’t even gotten my driver's license yet!”

“You will not need any human tools in the Ghost Zone.” 

“I haven’t graduated high school yet!” 

“Fright Knight can teach you about battle strategies and the castle has many books on politics.” 

“Well… I deny your claim!” Danny’s eyes shot green bolts into Pariah’s hand. With a shout Danny was free from his grasp. “And I refuse to be your Heir!” 

“I am offering you control over the entire Ghost Zone boy!” 

“And I said no! I'd rather hang out with the Box Ghost!” 

“One day you will change your mind boy! And I will be waiting!” Pariah’s body was engulfed in flames, his form disappeared in its bright light before the flames extinguished themselves. 

“I didn’t think it would be that easy,” He mumbled to himself. 

“FENTON! Or wait, PHANTOM! No, augh, Moby Dick, DANIEL FENTON PHANTOM! GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I GIVE YOU A YEAR'S WORTH OF DETENTION!” Lancer screamed from the ground. 

“Oh boy. I’m in for it now.” 

---

    BANG! BOOM! SHREECHH! Legacies had to be maintained and preserved for future generations. Which require vigorous upkeep and gentle care, both had been neglected in Castle Dark for over a thousand years. Skeleton warriors and unlucky ghosts had been forced into its reconstruction. They filled the empty halls with a calamity of sounds and dust. Tarps covered anything that was worth protecting. A few Skeletons had started a burn pile in the dead garden. The fire was fueled by decaying furniture, tapestries, mold filled books, and dead plants. 

    Pariah stood at his balcony observing the flames below. His black armor had been replaced with a black undershirt and black leggings. While time had taken its toll on the castle, Pariah's all black wardrobe had survived. The royal chambers had not, and everything was replaced with items he ransacked from the older halfa’s domain. The gaudy green and golds were thrown into vats of black dye, before they were allowed to be in his castle. Whatever couldn’t be dyed was painted gold. Pariah examined his new room, and while he did not understand what memory foam was, he enjoyed the feel of it upon his back. Too bad its previous owner was not something the king enjoyed. Pariah thought the older halfa was a conniving rat, sneaking its way into power and posing whoever got in his way. Killing with poison or other sneaky means was below Pariah, he preferred to fight in an open battlefield. Where he could see the life drain from his enemies eyes. 

If only the younger halfa would let him teach him this. Pariah sighed, for the announcement had gone terribly. He had considered smacking the boy but according to the Fright Knight, this day and age frowned upon beating children. Speaking of the Knight. 

“Fright Knight!” Pariah called. 

“Yes, your Highness?” The knight appeared in a haze of purple smoke and flames. His armor carried on the ends of his smoke trails, waiting for its owner to reassemble itself before the master of the castle. 

“I require your advice once again. For I went to young Phantom and proclaimed his right to rule. Yet the boy rejected me! What does your book tell of situations like this?” 

“The book? Let me see,” Fright Knight pulled a white book from the depth of his shadows. Its cover read “How to Discipline your Children without Spanking or Hitting” in bright blue letters. “It says that if a child is of the age to be reasoned with, one should try to reason with the child, walking them through the pros and cons of a situation. One should also be open to feedback and comments the child might make. For a child will not follow a situation that does not benefit them as well.” 

“I do not understand. Prince is the second highest title in all of the Ghost Zone, no other would deny such a request.” 

“The young can be quite foolish you Highness, maybe if you explained to him what a privilege this chance is? The young today like to have things laid out for them. It may also be good to mention that he would not be able to freely leave the Ghost Zone once the coronations happen.” 

“I can already foresee him objecting to that.”

“But if you let him know now, he is more likely to trust you. Plus it might be good if you let your wife and husband know before you bring the boy here.” 

“I am sure my husband already knows, and if he had any objections he would’ve shown himself by now. As for my wife, I find it easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Additionally her and the young Phantom are similar enough that I foresee them getting along quite well.” 

“Before or after her anger resides?” 

“I- '' Pariah’s word drawled out into an unsure silence. “I have already destroyed the sarcophagus of forever sleep, and I doubt she would actually kill me.” 

“Your Highness, the Queen would never attack your core. But I fear her words are much sharper than her flames. As for your husband, I have heard rumors that he is mentoring the young Phantom.” 

“That is probably why he has not interfered yet, Fright Knight. He is waiting for me to bring the child into our family. Once the two of them apologize for locking me in that damn box.” 

“Your Highness may I be blunt with you?” 

“Depends on how blunt you intend to be?” 

“Then I will conceal my comments.” 

“A wise choice. Now before Phantom comes we will need to pick a title for him. Each Ghost King has had a title. Solomon was the blessed, Caesar was the Terrible, Wu Zetian the graceful, TenKamenin the Great, and myself the Dark one. Phantom will need a title that describes him,” Pariah said. 

“Sir, you forgot King Henry the tiny.”

“I will not acknowledge the fool who dared to try and steal the throne from me.”  

“Of course, my liege, forget my words. May I suggest Prince Phantom the white? It would contrast your title of dark.” 

“No, my heir must have a more impressive title.”

“Prince Phantom the hero prince?” 

“Bah! Too long, suggest another one.” 

“Prince Phantom the undaunted?” 

“Perfect! That will be the name we spread throughout the lands!” 

[missparker]

I'd love a "one year later" flash-forward from Giving Up on Greener Grasses!

Sharon comes home to the garage door left open and when she enters the house, there’s a faint beeping coming from the kitchen. Sharon sets her purse down on the counter and bumps the refrigerator door closed with her hip. It's finicky. If not closed firmly, it won’t catch on its own. Brenda is never great about checking.

There’s dishes in the sink, but just a fork, a plate, and a glass. Sharon doesn’t have to check the trash to know that means Brenda got takeout again. 

The trash is full, though, so Sharon closes the bag and hauls it outside to the bin and then rolls the bin to the curb. She’s coming in from an all nighter and the garbage truck doesn’t come until the next morning, but better safe than sorry. 

She washes her hands inside and clears the sink into the dishwasher. 

In the bedroom, Brenda is asleep in the bed, half her uniform on the floor and her gun on the top of the dresser. If Rusty still lived with them, Sharon would be stricter about the way they store their service weapons, but as it is, it’s not a battle she cares to wage. Hers is tucked into her purse, so she’s no saint.

Brenda lets out a snore.

A glance at the clock tells Sharon that Brenda’s alarm will go off in less than an hour, so Sharon decides not to disturb her. She instead locks herself in the bathroom to strip and shower, scrubbing the makeup off her face and washing the many layers of dry shampoo out of her hair. She towels off, puts on her robe. She’d gotten them matching monogrammed waffle spa robes for Christmas last year and while Brenda likes her, it was a selfish gift for Sharon because she wanted one too and wears it all the time.

She goes to sleep in the guest room with her wet hair and her robe.

Brenda wakes her up a few hours later, already back in uniform. Her makeup is always camera ready now since she spends so much time posing for publicity photos.

“I gotta go,” Brenda says. “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Sharon murmurs, half asleep. This is the most they’ll see each other today, probably. It just is the way it is, now.

oooo

Sharon eats breakfast around lunch time, flipping through the LA Times and there’s a picture of Brenda on page three, looking serious as she meets with the superintendent. There’s always incidents with guns at the schools, but this time there was a school shooting so severe that three kids and a vice principal died and a dozen others were injured. Now, there’s an LAPD presence on a high school campus. Sharon’s not sure if that’s the answer, exactly, but short of sweeping legislation, it’s the best they can do in a pinch. The NRA, the PTA, and every political party is knocking on Brenda’s door about it. Sharon spends half her time fielding press inquiries not because it’s her job, but because she’s so good at it. Brenda has someone to handle her press, but Brenda doesn’t trust him much yet and so the real delicate things get booted down to Sharon.

It’s not appropriate, but Sharon keeps refusing to leave Major Crimes and so this is the compromise they’ve made. Brenda won’t forcibly promote her into a role of her choosing and Sharon will help her out, when she can.

Sharon has been toying with the idea of retirement, actually. She hasn’t told Brenda she’s been thinking about it so seriously, but since she sold the condo and moved into the house with Brenda, it’s financially doable. She doesn’t want to leave Major Crimes behind, but she’s tired and these all nighters are getting harder and harder to recover from and she’s tired of the murders. She’s seen so many dead bodies in the last ten years. 

If she was home, she could make sure the garage door got closed. She could pull the trash bins out to the curb at twilight. She could stand in the yard in a straw hat and deadhead the roses and chat with the neighbors and swim laps in the pool in the part of the day when it’s warmest. 

She could see Brenda, sometimes. The love of her life. And not just as a picture in the paper. 

Determined, she pulls out her phone and calls Brenda. It rings once and goes right to voicemail. 

She receives a text right away.

Sorry, can’t right now. Love you. LOVE YOU.

Well, if Sharon ever sees her while she’s awake again, she’ll float the idea. 

She puts her breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and heads to the bedroom to get dressed.