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disasterousduo · 5 months ago

Text

INCORRECT QUOTES

(I have drawings I’ll make at some point, right now take these incorrect quotes)

Scythe, about Y/N: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Harvest: Are we stealing them? Lunar: New or used? Scythe: Wonderful responses, both of you.

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Y/N: *Gently taps table* Lunar: *Taps back* Scythe: What are they doing? Harvest: Morse code. Y/N: *Aggressively taps table* Lunar: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

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Y/N: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Scythe: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. Harvest: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Lunar: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

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Y/N: Yo is Lunar sleeping or dead? Lunar: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Harvest: Yeah, so did I. Scythe: Okay first of all, fuck you-

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Y/N: We need a distraction. Scythe: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Harvest, whispering: My time has come

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Y/N: Why are you on the floor? Scythe: I'm depressed. Scythe: Also I was stabbed, can you get Lunar, please.

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Scythe: Lunar, my old arch enemy. Harvest: ... I thought I was your arch enemy? Scythe: I have a life outside of you, Harvest.

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Scythe: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Lunar: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

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Scythe: Harvest and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Harvest: Sentences. Scythe: Don't interrupt me.

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Harvest: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Lunar: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

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Y/N: Lunar, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Lunar: Well of course I have. Lunar: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Lunar: It's boring.

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Y/N: A theif. Harvest: Thief? Y/N: Theif. Harvest: I before E, except after C. Y/N: Thceif. Y/N: No.

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Y/N: Hey, you want some leftovers? Scythe: What's that? Y/N: You've never had leftovers??? Scythe: No, because I'm not a quitter.

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Lunar: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Harvest: *chugs entire bottle* Harvest: It’s perfume.

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Y/N: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Lunar: Lunar: Y/N, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Y/N: *Sips coffee from bowl*

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Lunar: Fuck. Scythe: We've got to work on your cursing. Lunar: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

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Y/N: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Scythe: Mind your language! Y/N: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Scythe: Y/N: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Y/N: How do I deal with my enemies? Scythe: Kill them Y/N: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution Scythe: Kill them only a little? 🩸🎃🌟

Y/N: *Accidentally hits Harvest in the face* Y/N: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'* Y/N: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! Harvest: What’s wrong with you?!

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Scythe : I'm a reverse necromancer. Lunar: Isn't that just killing people? Scythe: Ah, technicality.

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Y/N: Is something burning? Scythe: Just my love for you. Y/N: Scythe, the toaster is on fire.

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Y/N, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today! Lunar: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

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Y/N: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Lunar: Killed without hesitation. Y/N: No.

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Y/N: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Scythe: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Harvest: I personally was created in a lab. Lunar: I just straight up spawned lol.

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Y/N: *Screams* Scythe: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Harvest: Should we do something?! Lunar, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Scythe: Lunar isn’t answering their phone Y/N: I’ll call Scythe: Harvest and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Lunar: Hello?

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Y/N: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Scythe: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Lunar: I recorded the dumb stuff. Harvest: I joined in on the dumb stuff. Ruin: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

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Y/N, trying to convince Ruin to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong! Scythe: And loud! Harvest: And grumpy! Lunar: And oblivious to reality! Ruin:

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Y/N: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked... Lunar: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine! Ruin: In your pantry! Y/N: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop? Lunar: Is your friend here? Y/N, motioning to Scythe: Yeah. Lunar, to Scythe: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:( Harvest: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew- Harvest: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?! Harvest: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN Everyone else: No. Harvest, to Lunar and Ruin: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS Lunar: YAAAAAAAAY! Ruin: THE PRESTIGE!

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Y/N: I’m an idiot. Scythe: Harvest: Lunar: Ruin: Y/N: Scythe: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

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Y/N: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Scythe: ... Your what? Y/N: My friends. Harvest: Are they saying “friends”? Lunar: I think they're being sarcastic. Ruin: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Y/N! All of your friends are in this room. Y/N: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

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Y/N: What does 'take out' mean? Scythe: Food. Harvest: Dating Lunar: Murder Ruin: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

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Y/N: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life Scythe: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! Harvest: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! Lunar: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! Ruin: My moral code, is that you? Y/N: Y/N: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

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Y/N: Anyone d- Scythe: Depressed? Harvest: Drained? Lunar: Dumb? Ruin: Disliked? Y/N: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

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Y/N: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Scythe: Several traffic violations. Harvest: Three counts of resisting arrest. Lunar: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Ruin: Also, that’s not our car.

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Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Scythe: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies Harvest: Socks are Feetie Heaties Lunar: Forks are Stabby Grabbies Scythe: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties Harvest: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies Lunar: Stamps are Lickie Stickies Ruin, annoyed: You are disappointments

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Scythe: Rules are made to be broken. Y/N: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Harvest: Uh, piñatas. Lunar: Glow sticks. Suntea: Karate boards. Moontea: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Scythe: Rules. Y/N:

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Y/N: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? Scythe: Nope, absolutely not. Harvest: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Lunar: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. Suntea: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. Moontea: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

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Y/N, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Scythe: Hey. Harvest: Hi. Lunar: Hello. Suntea: Hey! Y/N: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Moontea: We were out of Doritos.

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Lunar: Just be yourself. Harvest: 'Be myself'? Lunar, I have one day to win Y/N over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me? Scythe: Couple weeks. Suntea: Six months. Moontea: Jury’s still out. Harvest: See, Lunar? Harvest: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

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Y/N: Dumbest scar stories, go! Suntea: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Harvest: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Lunar: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Scythe: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Moontea: Moontea: I have emotional scars.

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Y/N: Time for plan G. Scythe: Don’t you mean plan B? Y/N: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Harvest: What about plan D? Y/N: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Lunar: What about plan E? Y/N: I’m hoping not to use it. Suntea dies in plan E. Moontea: I like plan E.

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*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Y/N: Thanks fam! Scythe: oh no Harvest: *cries* I love you too Lunar: Sounds fake but okay Suntea: *A flustered mess* Moontea: can i get a refund

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Y/N: I CAN'T DO IT! Scythe, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Y/N: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Harvest: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Y/N: Y/N: I appreciate it, Y/N: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Lunar: Y/N- Y/N: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Suntea: Y/N we gotta- Y/N: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Y/N: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Y/N, motioning to Moontea: NOT FUCKING THIS

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Y/N: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

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Y/N, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

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Lunar: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

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Scythe: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person. Scythe: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

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Ruin: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

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Harvest: You wanna see how hardcore I am? Harvest: *punches wall* Harvest: Harvest: Take me to the hospital.

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Scythe: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

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Harvest: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

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Lunar: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

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*The squad is over at Y/N's house* Scythe: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven? Y/N: ... N-No... Y/N, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have??? Scythe, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought! Harvest : I see a- Y/N, motioning to one device: This is a microwave. Scythe: Oh, well I- Y/N: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave* Y/N, amazed: Its got a bake setting! Lunar: Ohoho, you learn something new every day! Suntea: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first? Y/N: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin! Y/N: I am someone who owns four ovens... Y/N, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS... Y/N: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens... Moontea, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven! Y/N: Scythe: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens! Y/N: Y/N, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Y/N: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Suntea: ...I did. I broke it. Y/N: No. No you didn't. Harvest ? Harvest : Don't look at me. Look at Lunar. Lunar: What?! I didn't break it. Harvest : Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Lunar: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Harvest : Suspicious. Lunar: No, it's not! Scythe: If it matters, probably not, but Moontea was the last one to use it. Moontea: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Scythe: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Moontea: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Scythe! Suntea: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Y/N. Y/N: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Scythe: Y/N... Harvest 's been awfully quiet. Harvest : rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Y/N, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Y/N: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Y/N: Y/N: Good. It was getting a little chummy around

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