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youmarin · 1 year ago

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"The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" rant.

*Spoilers below*

Gotta get it off my chest. Mostly bc I hurt for Kim Moo Young .

I read the series summary and I was like, "Mmm okaaay there's gonna be trauma here." To be honest I didn't think grandly of him during the first episodes. Actually I didn't know what to think of Kim Moo Young. A very goodlooking mf who's a loner. He grew in an orphanage after the incident and well he seemed to care for the nuns there but that was it. He didn't let anyone close or felt anything for anyone (the closest thing before things developed was that coworker of his but even they didn't appear too close to be called friends? idk).

Until he overheard that conversation between Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang, he didn't seem to do stuff that would make him go out of his way. He seemed to be looking to entertain himself even at the cost of other people's well being. That was because he normally was numb minded. He didn't understand people's behaviour, like for example, why people "had" to do things they didn't really want to do. So when he taunted Seung Ah (even though it must've been uncomfortable. I felt like that watching it), I thought, "He's being quite an asshole, but maybe that's his way to try and help her step up for herself?". Think about it, things are never as easy as just saying it. She thought she couldn't get herself out of that situation but Moo Young didn't see things like that. He saw things differently. And so he was like, "If you don't wanna do it then don't." Simple as that.

Seung Ah fell for Moo Young because of that. And I don't think she really loved him either. She was clinging to him to escape her own life, one that was mostly decided for her and that she didn't want. (Plus they've "known" each other for like 2 months. C'mon.)

Still at this point, Moo Youngs motivations regarding Seung Ah were obviously messed up. "I wanted to know what drives a rich girl.", the whole bunch of lies, working up people for the fun of it. I wasn't a fan. He really gave an uneasy feeling (and with that face too. I was like, "Damn he's so fine but something's really wrong with him. Can't say I like him but I don't unlike him" lmao). And all that game got two people killed (which of course he didn't plan on it to end like that, and it was her fiancé, speeding and being drunk off his ass that didn't even bother to press the breaks before they crashed. ). But feeling nothing over it? Something's up up there in his head.

Same with Lim Yu Ri. He keeps her from ending her life and she catches feelings (he collects broken girls and broken girls love him 💀). He learns she's on a tough spot with another girl who's extorting her. And he intervenes again and helps someone who's also clearly not in her right mind to commit murder. Moo Young stands and watches. And then goes and cleans it up. ( 🚩❗)

Seung-Ah's and Jeong Mi Yeon's death were not his doing. Directly. But he did stuff that lead to that end. And still, no remorse, no guilt. Nothing. Again, technically he didn't do it so why would he feel those? But well, any other person would, wouldn’t they?

It's understandable and logical for Jin Gook to be a worried brother and not want Jin Kang near him. Oh but wait! Jin Gook might know the guy! From way back when he was a little boy! He's aware of the great possibility that Moo Young might be actually the son of a criminal he accidentally shot to death more than twenty years ago. And that Jin Kang and Moo Young's pasts are linked. But Jin Gook is scared for Jin Kang and more scared for himself to face the past and burst the bubble he's been trying to keep for so long (though it's still eating him alive).

Unfortunately for him, Jin Kang falls in love with Moo Young and for her, Moo Young decides to try an be a good person and stop acting as he had been until then. With her help.

"Promise me you'll be a good person." "Then teach me."

And he starts getting curious again about the past he'd forgotten about thanks to (funny, huh) the car crash he was in with Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang. And what does Jin Gook decides to do? Stab. the. guy. A police officer. Oh and after calling Moo Young a murderer, a devil and everything he could come up with. Talking big when he had also killed someone (be it an accident, that the person was a murderer and that he might've ended up sentenced with death anyway, it doesn't take away that he killed someone).

And then everyone at the station being normal about it?? "Oh there was no report." Nobody investigated shit. Tak So Jung saw the footage and still did shit about it. But that also lead to Moo Young seeking the doctor (the doctor who let go an amnesic 7 year old boy from a hospital alone to who knows where with nobody to take care of him. Just relying on chance, "Maybe it'll be better". Like some sort of study subject.).

More questions were brought to Moo Young. The only thing the doctor could tell him was that his father fell to his death. But he knew that wasn't it because every time that the memory came he saw and heard a gun fired. So he goes to where they say his father died, finds his house (that scene when he's inside the house and the memories come back full force that he falls to the ground. Ok, kill me now that was so intense.) And he finds out that his girlfriend's brother is his father's killer. Now, how can he tell her that?

He goes back, he's angry, he has to know the rest. He breaks into Jin Gook and Jin Kang's house. Finds an old missing child poster with his picture in it. Then he reaches out for help with Jang Woo Sang's older sister (from the people he got tangled with in the beginning and that Jin Kang had stopped him from getting involved with again. And Jin Kang had told him that those people were capable of anything. Honestly didn't get that woman's deal. She was really a bitch who loved nobody and loved toying with people. Girl, get a life won't you. Mind your business.) He asks for a gun and breaks in again into their house. When Jin Gook arrives he sees Moo Young's shoes in the entryway. And he admits that he shot his father. Moo Young asks why and tells him he ruined his childhood and family. But was he really going to shoot him? I don't know. I really want to believe he wouldn’t shoot him. Because Jin Gook is important to Jin Kang. And I know he said a couple of times "You're just you to me." Which basically I translate to "The hell with your brother." (plus he stabbed him. I have resentment over that lol. Like, what was the reason?).

But I'm glad we didn't see that happen (for Moo Young. The grudge again 💀). Later he finds out that the story he had made around his drawing, the sole clue he was left with for a long time was actually not true. His dad, who he thought had in a moment searched for him, was not a police officer (that was Jin Gook, in fact), it was a murderer. A murderer who killed his mom and two others (when I heard about the other two people that's when I realized, "Ok those are Jin Kang's parents" and the idea that popped into my head when Tak So Jung told Jin Gook "If that's the boy you were searching they can't be together.", that Jin Kang and Moo Young were siblings, was wrong. But they scared me for a sec. with that. I was like, "Hell nah I love SIG but what's up with his dramas always having smthn (the age gaps in Café Minamdang and High School King of Savvy? Mostly the Minamdang one. Don't get me wrong I still loved the shows but there was that fact that eek! Aand now incest? Pls no. And thank GOD it wasn't. Phew 😬😅😂)

Continuing, Moo Young feels disgusted (for someone who barely felt anything now he feels this great love for Jin Kang and is so troubled with all the things he's found out, and the things still left for him to know) and that it now makes sense his way of being. The Dr. tells him his past and his father's doing have nothing to do with him and that he's an example of that.

"You're just you."

The "I love you" text. She knew he was in pain.

"Are you really ok with who I am?" "I want to be born again." 🥺💔

"To be born again you have to live in a warm house. A warm house smells like warm rice."

And when she got burnt and he was so worried and it brought another piece of the puzzle of his memory. He and Jin Kang had been together all along.

(Also that scene of them comparing their scars? I was not okay.💔) "They look like a map. And we followed that map to get here."

But he got it wrong and believed they were siblings (also bc of that lying bitch of Jang Woo Sang's sister. Honestly I didn't think he'd believe her. He always was so "Don't trust people, people are nothing." So clever, used to lie and play around like that that I thought he'll ask for proof or something. But that was how he remembered it and well the bitch hadn't lied to him until that point so oh well) and couldn't tell Jin Kang because he loved her. But not the way a brother loves a sister. And how could he tell her that yes, your dad is the same as mine, a murderer who killed our mom and two more people. And even when he found out that thankfully they were not siblings he still didn't want Jin Gook to tell her anything because still the truth wasn't much better. His father killed her parents.

And then Kim Moo Young commited murder trying to protect Jin Kang when he didn't have to.

"I killed someone when I felt human the most."

Jin Kang unable to believe it and breaking down saying he couldn’t have done it, that he couldn’t even stand seeing a bird or a fish hurt. Because she knew him better than anyone. He truly was sensitive.

How Moo Young hugged Jin Gook (See that? No need for hurting him more, man.) Left him a note. Signed with his real name. 💔

"When I met Jin Kang I was able to breathe again." 😭

And when she pointed a gun to her forehead his façade vanished.

"Go back."

"To where? You've been there from the start."

The fucking ending. She made him admit that he wanted to live right before that mf came in and shot her first, that being the last thing he saw, breaking his heart one last time before he was shot and died too.

How she didn't get to say "I love you" back. He only got to say it while he was dying and she just texted it to him. And it was probably the first time he remembered ever saying it to someone. Like when Jin Kang asked him if he had ever really liked someone and he said, "you."

How in the beginning he was the one who looked over and treasured Jing Kang but no one looked over him for so long until she came around again years later without remembering him and finally showed him love.

(And how it was her voice now that woke him up from the nightmare/memory.)

I hated that they always kept Jin Kang in the dark. Like, tell her something pls. Enlighten the woman too. She died and never got to know the mess that made Moo Young break up with her. She missed so much. Trying to protect her that much ended bad.

How different would've been things maybe if Moo Young also had had someone like Jin Kang did. (?)

If Jin Gook had told them everything!!! Instead of being so against them. Moo Young made mistakes but he then tried (and it really showed in his eyes how he instantly regretted it when Jin Gook treated him like that. Because he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for Jin Kang.). And Jin Gook was always like, "You can start afresh" (even though he always carried his grief and regret but still, he tried to believe that but apparently that didn't apply to Moo Young or wtf).

Loved, loved, loved the scene when they first slept together, how full of love and how they couldn't help their laughter because of how happy they were at that momemt. All the times she squished his face. So cute hahah. And when he carried her inside his house. How she helped him make his house a home. He didn't even have a single glass because, what was the need for those things? He's the only one who's ever there.

And that scene when he's looking at the night sky and cries and Jin Kang appears there. "How didn't I know? There are so many beautiful things in the world." And then the shot shows him lying there alone. I don't have a heart anymore, this show stepped on it and shattered it. 💔 It was so sad but such a beautiful scene.

When she told her smthn like, I hope you always have things like plants to water and food you have to eat before it spoils and that those stuff cling to you and all that. For him to keep living and enjoying the simple things. Things that in the end they didn't have the chance to live for. 🥺🥲

Other stuff that ended me:

"You planted love in her heart". "I don't believe it but I hope it's true."

"You protected her with your tiny body." "Now I feel proud of my big, ugly scar." (And this got me thinking how he protected her back then and then she did the same and took the bullet for him. But in the end both got burned and both were shot 💔💔💔)

And the songs "Lost", "Star". Loved them. And "Hidden Memory" (again, that whole scene).

Anyways, great name. I have puffy eyes thanks to this drama. The smile left me eyes.

I'll edit this if something else comes up in my head later but I had to write all these so I can process what I just finished watching yesterday evening.

#the smile has left your eyes #tshlye #kim moo young #yoo jin kang #seo in guk #jung so min #park sung woong #yoo jin gook #hundred million stars from the sky #kang sun ho #han jung yoon #kdrama

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kiestrokes · 1 year ago

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WIP Tag Game

▸rules: post 3 snippets from published work, and 3 from your wips ▸tagged by: my sunshine @minisugakoobies ▸no obligation tagging: @still-with-koo @axialitae @mochilatae 🗝️note: you're getting some raw wip status snippets here, do prepare for grammatical and dyslexic errors. MDNI because the Geonbae Pt.2 snippet is pure smut, sorry!

✦ My Three WIPs ✦

⌞Accismus with Kang Yeosang⌝

They move in together for their engagement. insert all the buildup: one bedroom, he sleeps on the couch. she gets upset, "we have always shared a bed before, get in the bed Yeosang." he looks at her in her baggy tee, "it's different now." the loom of their romance comes crashing down, because Yeosang's grandmother forced it to happen. She wrestles him on the couch, "I know you want to be with ---- but I don't want to be locked in a loveless marriage AND lose my best friend." Yeosang pins her arms behind her back, stunned, "Loveless?" She turns her face embarrassed. "---- our marriage will not be loveless, I just didn't want to encroach your borders so rapidly." he shifts her wrists to one hand and smooths the other up her back to glide up and grip the back of her neck "look at me." she does and sees his eyes flutter to her lips and back, she swallows hard as his hand drifts around to the side of her neck, thumb sliding under her jaw to tilt her face up. she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and his lips part at the movement. "I'll come to bed, and we will discuss everything in the morning." His eyebrows raise expectantly, releasing her once she nods. they shuffle off to the bedroom, Yeosang spoons her tightly like usual. "I'm sorry for being distant." she hums and burrows back into him.

⌞Baby, I'm a shadow of you with Kim Mingyu & Jeon Jungkook⌝

Your boyfriend's best friend (Mingyu) that you’ve had a crush on leaves to study abroad. When he comes back you and your boyfriend (Jungkook) are on a break. Mingyu asks if all of you is still the same, "because I know I’m not." Talking about your virginity, because the two of you had make a pact when you were drunk one night: to be each other's firsts so that you could enjoy your first time with Jungkook. You get embarrassed. “Of course not, it’s been two years.” His eyebrows quirk and he is still surveying you under hooded eyes. “Pity we didn’t get to complete our bet,” he tucks hair behind your ear. “I don’t think you missed out,” you laugh thinking about your first time. He tilts his head curiously. You wave him off, “this isn’t a coffee shop appropriate conversation.” “I’ve heard you talk to Hobi and Jimin about this in public.” “Yea well they’re gay,” you turn back to the window sipping your drink. “What does my sexual orientation have to do with it?” He chuckles, eyes dancing with warmth. You shift, rubbing your legs together. His eyes follow the movement, and he smirks leaning into whisper “it turns you on, doesn’t it?” You give him a pointed look before your eyes roll away. Hoseok shows up then, and you break away gratefully. Waving goodbye as you head off to the movie. When Mingyu hugs you goodbye, he trails his knuckles under the hem of your skirt telling you how nice you look.

⌞Geonbae Pt.2 with Park Jimin⌝

“Shit why do you feel so good?” You ask as you stroke his stomach again, followed by a quick snap of your hips. Jimin looks more fucked out than ever, cheeks flushed, lips parted, eyes blazing into yours as he says the next words with a firmness that nearly makes your come, “I was made for you.” You moan and Jimin shudders, “gonna come for me Park?” Your body shakes with effort, just as overheated as his, but determined to wreck the man beneath you first.

✦ My Three Published Fics ✦

⌞the layover with Kim Namjoon⌝

His hips tremored with effort, as his eyes bore into yours. You sat upright on him so he sank completely into you and started to match his quick pace. One of your hands gripping the side of the tub and the other on his chest, just barely grasping the base of his neck. As your insides began tightening again, you moaned his name in what sounded like a plea, "Namjoon." Namjoon’s moans climbed, louder and louder. Just like Jimin had teased. Sending you further into the spiral of ecstasy. As you watched each other, water sprayed around you like the ocean with each thrust forward and pull back, creating your own pleasure driven tides.

⌞Ditto with Kim Seokjin⌝ 🗝️this is arguably my favorite fic

“Why did you really ask me to come?” His eyes fall to the armrest you both have appropriated, “I don’t allow many people to see me, in my entirety.” His eyes lift to yours, hesitation and vulnerability present as he continues- “you showed such an indifference to me in the beginning. To my good looks and the fame, you treated me like a normal person. It was refreshing, and I felt like I could show you the parts others have a tendency to judge.” “Jin…” Your voice crackles with compassion as he gives you a quick close lipped smile, the one that dimples the corners of his mouth. “Not everyone will love or accept the whole me, so I have to filter what they see.” He sighs, anxiously pinching the denim of his pants. “Especially the fans, they see me as the light hearted and silly, hyung.”

⌞Eyes on Fire with Lee Minho x Han Jisung⌝

"We all get a little scared sometimes." Jisung's head snaps to Minho's, stunned that the vampire was conversing with him. "What are you afraid of?" Jisung asks softly. Minho stifles a laugh, looking down at his notebook. "Pretty little werewolves that smell too delicious for me to focus." Jisung visibly gulps when Minho's eyes dance back to his, glinting mischievously.

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ramennoodler · 1 year ago

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Dramas 2023

Just some of my thoughts for some of the dramas of 2023...

-KING THE LAND !!!!! The natural chemistry between the main leads is just so so soooo real that it makes it hard to believe that they're "just friends" in reality; However, at the same time it makes sense, as both Junho and Yoona have been in the entertainment industry and have known each other for a long time (2pm and SNSD go wayyyy back, IYKYK). I'm kind of surprised it took them this long to meet for a drama project, but as a fan of both 2pm and SNSD, I'm so glad to see them both working together again. There are so many funny moments in this drama and the added sound effects and acting make some of the scenes so funny. I also like the easter eggs added in the drama haha. Definitely a feel-good drama. I ship the main leads..!! They already know each other so well and they're also starting to look the same haha. -See You in My 19th Life This series is based on the webtoon, and the drama was surprisingly not bad. Ahn Bo Hyun and Shin Hye Sun both are great together, and I feel like recently Shin Hye Sun has been typecasted into these somewhat typical bold, fearless characters that are also seemingly reflective of her own personality but in this drama I was able to kind of see somewhat of a different side to her (hard to explain hahah). And Ahn Bo Hyun...he's very versatile as an actor. And finding out that he's now dating Jisoo of BP...super unexpected haha !! The drama itself is somehow comforting with all the characters meshing well together. Pleasant~~

-Celebrity Hmmmmm this one was great but something about the female lead I can't put my finger on.. While I do feel like her acting has improved over the years and I see that in some scenes of this drama as well, there were parts where it just seemed flat but I'm not sure if it's just how her character was written. The storyline itself was definitely interesting nonetheless, and I didn't have much expectations going into it, but it does touch upon the effects of social media in modern times and I liked the mystery/thriller type of vibe.

-D.P. Star-studded cast; haven't watched this yet but excited to pick up where they left off for season 1.

-The Real Has Come The cast is talented and there are strong characters in this drama and lots of twists and funny moments. It's light and funny, but there's 50 episodes so there are definitely times where it's a bit draggy but also that's typical of any family dramas. -Oasis Jang Dong Yoon!!! Hahaha I think the cast did a great job with their portrayals though I feel like Jang Dong Yoon just has such a baby-face and looks like he wouldn't hurt a fly but he looked so cool playing this role as Lee Doo Hak. I liked the old-fashioned style of this drama as it took place in the 80s-90s Korea, so it was really refreshing to see the type of fashion, dialects and overall atmosphere during that time through this drama, and think about how much has changed. There were parts of the drama that felt a little repetitive, but I think overall the cast made up for it. -Apple of My Eye (금이야, 옥이야) Typical family drama, a little predictable but expected haha.

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