#StuckInUniformDevelopment

[bishop-percival]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

Mike received another text from Teddy around lunch time.

[text] Who’s your optometrist?

[text] I just know you’re not gonna like my answer.

[text] But I know a guy. Sure he’s a little shady but he does good work and I’m buds with him. I could introduce you.

[follwrshep]

Shep was always early to rise. To be late would be a mockery of the gorgeous daylight that glorn would soon ravage with his eternal darkness - and Shep simply couldn’t have that!

At 5AM sharp, the deacon sat down within the cafeteria and waited in silence; posture straight and fingers lightly drumming on the table.

In all honesty, part of their pilgrimage was to cleanse their mind of their.. relationship with Theodore. It claimed nothing remained - only fond memories and a friendship unafflicted. They were not a particularly good liar in that regard.

The back of their eye throbbed as they waited, clawing and crawling and pulling at their very mind until the time seemingly passed within a second.

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

[astronomicalwatchdog]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

We’ve completed our research on sample 256. Where can we find the next highly corrosion resistant material? I can send the list of failures to filter them out.

Hello, Teddy. That is okay. I think I have found a new material for you to test. This one is promising; it has many properties that lead me to believe it is resistant to many harsh chemicals. It is called "Hesomek". This resource is located on several planets in this region, but the notable ones are "Tillso", "Gaiekmawn" and "Oridoeb".

I have a new pun for you. I made a new material that is resistant to chicken attacks. It is impeckable.

[soldiersam]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

(prev) Doctor Walters scowled. “I pissed them off by fighting back, Miriam. But yes. I will.” With that he sped up and climbed the stairs as fast as he could.

Miriam’s only response was to side-eye Dr. Walters as he sped away. Good riddance. 

As she made her way down to her chamber, she thought about how likely it was that the tailor would probably be the next person around here to die. Perhaps she should be more vigilant about avoiding him. 

At last, Miriam squirreled herself away in her chamber for the night to continue her search for a cure to her ailment. 

[eyeballcommander]

@albertbutyoucancallmebert

(Previous) Bert nodded, just as willing to move on as there was a reason Commander Peepers was here in the first place, and that was to show him his new blaster. And delighted by how it seemed the worst of his anger was over, the presentation Bert wanted to give came back to him, along with some confidence. “Well,” he started as he excitedly pumped his fists, “imagine the power of one of those big bulky atomic laser vaporizers.” He spread open his hands, then crunched them together as he continued, “Now imagine that power, albeit slightly weakened, condensed down into that blaster.” He started his own pacing around, with Sherri Jr following right behind him like a shadow. “Indeed, this blaster can obliterate just about any opponent, reducing them to nothing but a wisp in the wind! Well, there are some size limitations, sure, but even then it’ll zap away a huge chunk out of them. Truly a conveniently portable death ray!” He added some sinister finger tapping to his pacing. “It can blast holes through thick walls. It can blast holes into the ground. Too lazy to get up and throw out an empty milkshake cup? Bam, just disintegrate it away.” “And not to worry,” Bert said as he scurried back to Commander Peepers’ side and pointed out the blaster’s dial, “you still have your standard stun and blast settings.” He then put a hand on Peepers' shoulder. "And I could go on and on about the hours I poured into developing and implementing cutting edge safety features!"

Commander Peepers’ eye sparkled in amazement. “It can really do all that?” Then he picked it up and squinted while he looked for ways to get it open.

“How’d you condense its energy storage? What is it powered by? Does it have any means of generating power? If so, what’s the cooldown time between shots? If not: Does it have interchangable batteries? Could they be quickly swapped out? Or does it have to be plugged in?”

Commander Peepers paused to take a much-needed breath. Then he set it down on the nearest counter space he could find as he continued to examine it.

“Does it have any security measures for if it falls into the wrong hands? I’ve been considering putting a biosensor on the version I have in development, but gloves kinda complicate things...”

“Hmm...” He stopped and crossed his arms while tapping his foot and resting his hand on his chin. “What if... I used the glove itself as a key by embedding an RFID chip into it!?”

Then he wrote that down in a little notebook before going back to Bert’s blaster. He kept it opened next to him in case he needed to jot down another idea.

Once he had gotten through his first series of questions he looked to Bert and slyly smiled. “Safety features, eh? Did Walters rub off on you?”

[albertbutyoucancallmebert]

Can you draw us something, Sherri Jr.?

i draw with my tail and. well it is so hard to draw.

[gloria-in-excelsis-infimus]

@soldiersam

(Previous)

Autumn continued to stroke their chin in thought as they attentively listened to Gloria.

“Sabotaging Bishop Percival? But who..,” she trailed off as she glanced at Theodore.

They folded their arms. “Well, here’s what I remember after service. Of course His Excellency was the first to leave, as usual. But then I saw him come back and take Mike away.” 

“Then after Mike left, a lot of the noninitiates started to leave. By that point, I briefly retreated into the hallway to grab a broom and dust pan. And when I came back, I no longer saw Theodore, Sam, and, well, most of everyone really.”

She looked up as she pondered something. “....It couldn’t have been Sam, could it? The two were working together, pretty successfully at that it seemed, so it wouldn’t make sense for her to attack him… Plus, Sam usually follows Bishop Percival’s orders to a T.”

“I haven’t the slightest clue..,” Gloria forlornly said as she followed Autumn’s gaze to Teddy. “An outsider? Or..” She scanned the hallway while dropping to a hushed whisper. “...is there another rat among us?”

She let Autumn finish before shaking her head. “It's as you said. Not only does Sam lack a motive but they have every reason to keep her hands off. Even if their partnership broke down they’re well-aware of how Percy would take a delay.”

Gloria sighed as she looked back at their teddy bear again. “If only he didn't stubbornly insist on keeping the truth to himself…” Then she stepped back into her room and smiled.

“Well! As much as I’d love to stay and chat, I should get this done before he pulls another disappearing act.” She slowly pulled the door shut while waving at Autumn. “Toodaloo~! Please be a dear and keep me updated!”

With that the door clicked as the automatic lock activated and Autumn was left alone in the hall. After a brief pause there was soft clunk, a telltale sign of the deadbolt being turned.

[tailorgiuseppe]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

[txt]

May I please have the pattern for the Glornists' robes?

Preferably a digital copy for printing.

[txt]

I draft those patterns myself you know.. I do not wish to simply give them out for free, even to my dearest friends and colleagues, i hope you understand.

[watchdogsworld]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

A Ponzi scheme (/ˈpɒnzi/, Italian: [ˈpontsi]) is a form of fraud that lures investors and pays profits to earlier investors with funds from more recent investors.[1] Named after Italian businessman Charles Ponzi, this scheme misleads investors by either falsely suggesting that profits are derived from legitimate business activities (whereas the business activities are non-existent), or by exaggerating the extent and profitability of the legitimate business activities, leveraging new investments to fabricate or supplement these profits. A Ponzi scheme can maintain the illusion of a sustainable business as long as investors continue to contribute new funds, and as long as most of the investors do not demand full repayment or lose faith in the non-existent assets they are purported to own.

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

Good thing my new friend Ponzi has nothing to do with all that.

[freddythewatchdog]

(StuckInUniformDevelopment) We're allergic to pineapple.

...Huh. So it's not just the stomach acid-like stuff you were talking about?

[bishop-percival]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

Mike received a text around lunch time.

[text] Would it be a good or bad idea to share locations with each other?

[text] Like phone location sharing or something? I think that's a great idea.

[follwrshep]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

Shep, why did you try to steal from Giuseppe?

Go hit up a mega store with employees too underpaid to care.

(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

I WANTED NICE FABRIC!!!! BUT GLORNISTS ARE BANNED FROM THE WORKSHOP!!! I WOULD HAVE LEFT MONEY!!!!!!!!!!1!1!!

[wickedcooldog]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

It seems like it'll go well so I'd like to propose a new bet:

48 Haterzoids if the planet falls within 7 1/2 minutes from when the Skullship first lands. And you still leave me alone until Thursday.

Hmmm... like, I wanna say yes buuut I don't think I have that much...

@eyeballcommander

Hey Peepers! You got 36 Haterzoids!?

[candbrp]

The cultists thankfully don’t protest to it, but the quiet one and the aggressive one keep an eye on Teddy to make sure he doesn’t try to run again.

After making sure everything was still set up properly, the lead cultist takes their dagger and they plunge it into the Otter’s heart.

[soldiersam]

Last Slornday, Sam had gotten into a pretty vicious fight with their best friend Amy after she wouldn’t stop bragging about how she’d been promoted to deacon before him. There was a lot of pushing, tugging, and at one point even a pocket knife. This resulted in both of their robes needing repairs. But it wasn’t until Tuesday evening that Sam thought it would be a good idea to have his mended. And unfortunately, the most accessible and quickest way to do that was to utilize the Glornch’s very own tailor. That cocky, snotty, drab, miserable nerd Theodore. She hated him.

And so at around eight PM, Sam was lurking in the hallway stairwell that gave a good view of the laundry room door, waiting for the deacon Autumn to finish up her laundry chores and leave. If Sam was going to interact with Theodore, they’d like to do so alone. It was easier to be threatening that way. They shrank back against the wall when they heard the door swing open and was able to catch a glimpse of Autumn turning the corner to enter the deacon quarters. Relieved he didn’t get noticed, Sam bolted into the laundry room. She marched down the steps with heavy footfalls and peered with a glare toward the tailoring corner to see if his target was there.

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

[eyeballcommander]

@albertbutyoucancallmebert

(Previous) Commander Peepers’ ire didn’t go unnoticed. Bert nervously wrung his hands as he scanned the lab. “I didn’t do… Well, I have been working on, um, a thing and…” Bert stopped stumbling over his words when Peepers reached for the cloth himself. He had an entire presentation he was going to give before revealing the blaster, but with his nerves it was all scrambling in his head. So maybe it was best if Peepers just saw it already. And then Bert still had to explain that the blaster was Peepers’ old one. Should he mention that now to get the commander’s rage over with? Or should he mention the upgrades first to get Peepers’ mood up before dropping that this was his missing blaster? Maybe the second option. Yeah… But once Peepers lifted the cloth away, Bert was overtaken with nerves and guilt and blurted out, “I stole your blaster.” However, the blaster didn’t look like the one the commander lost in the doom arena. Instead of the standard red casing with yellow details, the gun was black with red accents. And a Hater Empire logo decal had been applied to the side. “And then modified and upgraded it without your consultation, or, well, knowledge.” Bert winced as if he was anticipating being smacked across the head.

Commander Peepers was pretty impressed right until Bert told him how he sourced the base material. His eye narrowed in rage as he whirled around to grab Bert by the shoulders.

“You WHAT!?” Peepers shouted in Bert’s face. Then he let go to frantically pace.

“Do you have.... ANY idea how many death threats I sent over that thing!?” He groaned and clutched his head in his hands. “And that bastard played into it! I bet he was laughing about me being a paranoid idiot this whole time!”

Peepers returned to Bert, clapped his hands on his shoulders, and pulled him close to look him dead in the eye. “He even tried to use it as obvious bait! Why, if I hadn’t asked T-”

He abruptly released him again to return to nervously pacing while burying his face under his hands. “UGH! Why didn’t I THINK of that earlier!? I can’t believe I’m such a dolt!”

Before Bert had the chance to cut in Peepers grabbed his shoulders again. “BUT I WOULDN’T EVEN BE IN THIS MESS IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU! ” Then he started to shake him. “Seriously! What! Were! YOU! THINKING!?!?”