#reverend mike

[bishop-percival]

@stuckinuniformdevelopmemt

[text] How do you destroy a soul?

[text] Become a necromancer. Or a demon. Otherwise, there are a couple rituals out there. Most of them are pretty advanced and risky, though.

[stuckinuniformdevelopment]

Teddy received a text from Mike not long after Bishop Percival published that last anonymous ask.

[text] Hey would you put killing Wendell and Glendale back on the table if I offered my help?

[text] Mike, I’m not killing people over delayed vision care and atrocious bedside manners.

[text] Especially not when I could get rid of them simply by reporting their absences and arrogance.

[albertbutyoucancallmebert]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

(prev) [text] Mike, don’t you remember what I did to the Blade of Dragon’s Breath? Who said I won’t? [text] I’ll send you my findings later Bert. [text] Hide the metal from me lol [text] How has your research gone?

[Bert] Ah… I haven’t found much that would be useful to us yet.

[Bert] A lot of it is just… Failed experiments.

[Bert] I wish I could say I’ve done more to help our cause, but… I’ve been quite busy. And reading through this isn’t the most fun.

[Mike] I can help read through some stuff.

[Bert] No.

[blondebabebillie]

[geekgirl78]

[page-28]

That Def Jam jacket

[stuckinuniformdevelopment]

They were grating.

(StuckInUniformDevelopment)

I'm lucky to have you and Eddie.

Glad to hear it!

...So, erm, what brought this on?

[churchofsatannews]

The Metro #717

This week on The Metro, Rev. Jeff Ivins is back from his 2 week break and brings you the following bands for your time trip to the 1980s: The Cure, Cyndi Lauper, Paul Young, Alexander O’Neal, Tears For Fears, Thompson Twins, Kool & The Gang, Josie Cotton, Berlin, Laura Branigan, Mike + The Mechanics, Spandau Ballet, Culture Club, ABC, and finishing off with some Bangles. Stream The Metro…

[djregular]

What's Good Preview

Lotta good stuff coming up for Friday's edition of my weekly new music blog, and it's only Wednesday. You want moody and heavy ladies? I got you:

You want bars on bars? I got you:

You wanna fall in love? I got you.

Be sure to visit my Cohost this Friday for the whole scoop, including playlists for your ease of listening.

[bylerbigbang]

By Whose Stripes Were Ye Healed

Fic by @souverian-are-we | Art by @boxxecl

Rated Mature | 41k words

"Dr. Wheeler did not touch Reverend Byers on Sunday. He did not kiss him, even when they woke up in the same bed. Will woke up before the first light of morning broke the horizon, the gray hue of pre-dawn signaling the sun's imminent arrival. It would soon illuminate all the buildings of the small town of Hawkins, peeling back shadows and glinting off of window panes.

or, the year is 1887 and in a small town on the Kansas prairie, things go terribly wrong"

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Discussions of Death, Homophobia, Drug Addiction, Religious Trauma

Read on Ao3 | View Art

Read an excerpt below:

Dr. Wheeler did not touch Reverend Byers on Sunday. He did not kiss him, even when they woke up in the same bed. 

It was an unspoken rule, the one they adhered to every week without fail. 

Will woke up before the first light of morning broke the horizon, the gray hue of pre-dawn signaling the sun's imminent arrival. It would soon illuminate all the buildings of the small town of Hawkins, peeling back shadows and glinting off of window panes. 

Will had been awakened by pain in his hands, and knees. It had pulled him out of his dreams, blunt and throbbing and more intense than he had felt it in days. 

There was always something that woke Will up on Sunday mornings. He had come to conclude that it was the Lord calling him. However, it seemed as though he kept calling him earlier and earlier each Sunday. He didn’t sleep well on Saturday nights. Nerves, for his sermon the next day. Anticipation.

He came by Mike’s office last night for that exact reason. Or, at least, that was what he told himself. He was looking for something to help him sleep. He set aside the chamomile and baptisia tea his sister, Jane, had brewed for him, and walked a half mile into town as if it was the only logical thing to do. 

He got out of bed, shifting gingerly out from under the quilt. His feet met cold wooden boards, and he shivered. Mike was still asleep, with soft features and his mouth ajar, drooling.

He dressed, slowly, taking his clothes from the wicker chair. Mike must have picked them up from the floor and folded them after he fell asleep. He smoothed out the wrinkles, and fastened his high collar over the red bruises kissed into his neck.

[bishop-percival]

A text from Teddy arrived a bit before the Skullship’s clocks would strike four.

[text] When will you be back?

It took Mike about an hour to respond. Any communication with him while he was away took a while.

[text] Three days from now, if everything goes smoothly. Why?

[stuckinuniformdevelopment]

@bishop-percival

(Previous) [text] …If you don’t think he’ll be a liability, sure. [text] In other totally unrelated news, I will be sending Amy off on her month-long study abroad as part of her ordination soon.

[text] Ideally he’d stay at a distance while I keep their attention on me.

[text] Would you like to help?

[text] I’m sure Amy’s excited.

[cristalconnors]

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR, 2023

Best Songs of 2023 can be found here.

Honorable Mentions (alphabetical): Black Rainbows, Corinne Bailey Rae // Heaven is a Junkyard, Youth Lagoon // Love in Exile, Arooj Aftab, Vijay Iyer, Shahzad Ismaily // New Blue Sun, André 3000 // Radical Romantics, Fever Ray // Rat Saw God, Wednesday // SAVED!!!, Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter // Scaring the Hoes, JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown // This Stupid World, Yo La Tengo // trip9love…???, Tirzah // With a Hammer, Yaeji // WOW, Kate NV

20. *1, RẮN CẠP ĐUÔI

19. GIRL WITH FISH, FEEBLE LITTLE HORSE

18. THE LAND IS INHOSPITABLE AND SO ARE WE, MITSKI

17. ATLAS, LAUREL HALO

16. BURNING DESIRE, MIKE

15. CENSUS DESIGNATED, JANE REMOVER

14. WHY DOES THE EARTH GIVE US PEOPLE TO LOVE?, KARA JACKSON

13. DESIRE, I WANT TO TURN INTO YOU, CAROLINE POLACHEK

12. OH ME OH MY, LONNIE HOLLEY

11. DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE’S A TUNNEL UNDER OCEAN BLVD, LANA DEL REY

10. SUNTUB, ML BUCH

9. PICTURE OF BUNNY RABBIT, ARTHUR RUSSELL

8. SPACE HEAVY, KING KRULE

7. RAVEN, KELELA

6. PRAISE A LORD WHO CHEWS BUT WHICH DOES NOT CONSUME; (OR SIMPLY, HOT BETWEEN WORLDS), YVES TUMOR

5. MY BACK WAS A BRIDGE FOR YOU TO CROSS, ANOHNI AND THE JOHNSONS

4. MAPS, BILLY WOODS & KENNY SEGAL

3. JAVELIN, SUFJAN STEVENS

2. FOUNTAIN BABY, AMAARAE

1. SOFTSCARS, YEULE

[blondebabebillie]

[geekgirl78]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

ELMO TANKED THE GOVERNMENT

TCinLA

Dec 19, 2024

The truth is that Elmo Muck, who apparently considers himself the unelected co-president after spending $150 million to elect Donald Trump, is an Unreconstructed Afrikaner White Supremacist and Broderbund Nazi, whose father took the family to South Africa from Canada because he supported and believed in Apartheid, who has no knowledge of how American politics and government actually works. But his Dunning-Kruger score is so high, he considers himself a genius about everything.

He has little understanding of how anything else actually works, since he’s really an uneducated moron whose “degrees” are phony. His reputation as the “Chief Engineer” comes from his access to his dodgy family’s dodgy fortune made in the dodgy Blood Diamond and Conflict Gem scam in the days of Apartheid, which allowed him to buy other people’s good ideas then steal the credit.

Elmo has now managed to tank the government before his alleged co-president, Felon34 - who seems to believe he became president on November 5 - even manages to take the oath of office next month.

After the bill to provide 84 days of funding to the government and prevent a shutdown at midnight this Friday was released, Elmo wrote on Xitter (that’s pronounced “Shitter”), “Any member of the House or Senate who votes for this outrageous spending bill deserves to be voted out in 2 years!”

Given that the World’s Richest Man could fund primary challengers for every member of The Party of Broken Toys in the House from his couch money, the Broken Toys sat up and listened.

Within hours, Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker followed their leader and condemned the bill, which the Party of Broken Toys then duly tanked.

Felon34 might be coming into office with his highest favorable rating ever, and feeling untouchable after winning the popular vote by a whole 1.52%, but his favorable rating is still only at 46 percent. And that is before the government shuts down over Christmas and New Years.

Elmo then posted on Xitter that “the people (me) have spoken.”

This from the man with a 65% negative poll rating from the people he claims to speak for.

The action now piles the immediate possibility of a government shutdown atop the already high-pressure negotiations over the funding measure, leaving the Right Reverend MAGA Mike in that position traditionally known technically as Up Shit Creek Without A Paddle.

Reverend Mike didn’t have the votes to pass a Continuing Resolution without Democrats - which is why so many shiny Democratic presents were hanging in that Christmas Tree - and now he doesn’t have the Democrats, who are busy passing the popcorn as they watch the shitshow, and he still doesn’t have The Gang That Cannot Work And Play Well With Others, plus he knows there’s at least one assassin out there packing a Motion to Vacate, for use on January 3, 2025.

Government shutdowns - and failed attempts to avoid them by the Broken Toys that 75 million mouthbreathing morons voted for - are now increasingly likely to be the torpedo amidships that sinks Felon34's First 100 Days Honeymoon. They will not be able to fix this once with a full-on vote for a budget, and - assuming they can orgnize a government capable of voting for one limited CR - they will be doing this again and again this year.

That’s actually a Good Thing.

The problem is, most of the Broken Toys are ignoramuses who have no idea how government actually works. They have no understanding of or appreciation for history, so they have no way of becoming knowledgeable about governance. Florida representative Anna Paulina Lunatic went so far this afternoon as to announce she was going to vote against the emergency relief money a majority of those who voted for are in need of after the hurricane that swamped Florida. More importantly, they do not want to govern; they hate government. Thus, they have no ability and no desire to run a government and they don’t care that they don’t know how.

Reverend Mike not only has no majority support from his fellow Broken Toys, he has no support from the alleged leaders of the GOP, Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker. The Corporal was asked several times this afternoon whether he supported Reverend Mike; he failed to reply to any of the multiple questions other than once to say “Have a nice day.”

Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker were unable to get their candidate, Senator Skeletor, in as Senate Majority Leader. Assuming there is one of the Broken Toys they think would be a better speaker, what makes them think they could get the rest of the Broken Toys to vote for that candidate?

What happens if the Broken Toys get rid of Reverend Mike on Friday, January 3?

If memory serves about how well they worked and played with others after dumping Kevin McCarthy, they won’t have a Speaker on Monday, January 6, and won’t have a government, so who will be there to accept the Electoral Vote count to declare Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker being voted into office?

And what are the odds they’re still trying to find their ass with both hands by January 20 and there is still no Speaker, no organized House, no budget to pay for the Chief Justice to administer the oath of office that day?

Government shutdowns that happen while there is no Speaker of the House and no way to elect one, assuming there was anyone in the Party of Broken Toys with the ability to deal with things if they did get elected, are even harder to deal with than the normal shutdowns brought about by The Gang That Cannot Work And Play With Others

With no government and no government operating budget, that also means there is no Massive Deportation since there is no money to build the camps, or pay for the ICE storm troopers.

And without a Speaker to organize the House and create the government, there is no Senate to vote on and confirm the Collection of Clucks that Felon34 has nominated to destroy America.

You know, the thought of there being no legal government at this particular point in history suddenly looks better and better.

Yes! Let the Broken Toys continue to shoot themselves in the foot!

All hail Elmo - the man who knew so little he was able to fuck up the government beyond all recognition, all by himself.

Elmo. The man who tanked the United States. It takes real genius to pull that off.