#Star Wars clone wars headcanons

[b4adb4tcher]

Listen Echo canonically loves pointing out the obvious and also dad jokes so all I can think is someone going

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

and him going

“Actually, its ARC Trooper Obvious”

[temaranthis]

yknow how Obi-wan and Quinlan are really close friends and that probably means Aayla and Anakin have a weird sibling/cousin relationship. and that make way for some really funny stuff.

for example, the jedi got to pick battalion colors at the beginning of the war, and Aayla's blue right? so she's like, "hm, it'd be fun if i matched with my men right?", and she goes the next morning and find out that Anakin, the little shit, has already taken blue. He doesn't even like blue.

and thats my little headcanon about how the 501st ended up being painted blue.

[brightsunsmeanshello]

If Jedi had TikTok

So I was imagining a TikTok trend that would basically just be the Jedi/Padawans looking all presentable and perfectly Jedi perfect ™ saying “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” and then immediately cutting to whatever chaos they are currently engaged in, for example:

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Qui Gon says, immediately before being shown adopting another ‘pathetic life form’ that may will cause them trouble later

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Obi Wan says, before decapitating a battle droid behind him without even looking at it

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Anakin says, as he replaces all of Windu’s regular caff with decaf

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Ashoka says, as she helps Fives and Hardcase balance a bucket of glitter above Rex’s doorway

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Plo says, as he forces encourages C3-PO to tell Wolffe his latest tales of woe™ and R2 drama

• “Jedi, we are; keepers of the peace, our responsibility is.” Yoda says, before telling several younglings that if they keep copying the Temple Guards they’ll freeze and get stuck that way

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Quinlan says, then just… you know, exists how he does

• “We’re Jedi, we’re impartial peacekeepers” Plo Koon says, sprinkling ‘How to Unionize’ pamphlets around the barracks like confetti

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Obi Wan says, before arguing politely engaging with every political figure in the room just for the heck of it

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Leia says, before teasing the man breaking her out of a literal cell in the middle of space about his height

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Luke says, before replacing Han’s hair gel with glue

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Kanan says, calmly to the camera, before proceeding to promptly turn around and scream “SHUT THE KRIFF UP I SWEAR TO FORCE I WILL MURDER YOU ALL IF YOU DONT GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW”

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Ezra says, as he sprints away from Zeb who is quite suddenly and mysteriously COVERED in hair dye (thanks, Sabine!)

[jedi-hawkins]

I have a sneaking suspicion that Crosshair will always tell a different story about his hand when asked. Some that he's given:

Omega cut it off

Got cut off as punishment for trying to steal the Crown Jewels of Naboo

Knitting accident

Ventress ate it

Cooking mishap

A porg attack

Frostbite

Got caught in a rayshield

Slept on it weird and it just fell off

Cursed by a Nightsister witch from Dathomir

He cut it off himself to fake his own death

He broke it petting Batcher too hard

Lost a fight to a lawn chair

(Tech’s reason) He was tired of being the ‘more boring twin’ and had to be a pick me

(Echo’s reason) He wanted to be more like him.

(Hunter’s reason) He had such a crush on General Skywalker he did it to impress him

(Wrecker’s reason) He was trying to rescue a baby animal and it pooped on him, Crosshair was so disgusted he cut his hand off right there

Reasons in collaboration with @probadbatch @arctrooper69 @photogirl894 @moonstrider9904

He got hungry

He lit a match and let it burn, just to feel something

He gave Hunter a hand with something but that’s not what Hunter meant.

Hunter ate it. (Crosshair has a tooka he named Hunter so people don't know which one he's talking about)

Halloween costume. (Echo chimes in - ‘he wanted to be me/General Skywalker’)

Papercut.

Now Omega paints his nails twice as fast *or half as slow

For his new fancy toothpick holder prosthetic (it shoots toothpicks out of it)

Omega is the only one who tells the truth about it, and no one believes her cause it sounds just as crazy

Edit/Notable Mention: “What do you mean?” *looks down* “OH SHIT! Oh my god, what happened to it!? My hand, it’s gone!?”

[skybreakprimeonao3]

Inspired by a post I saw a few weeks ago and forever lost to the tumblr scroll:

The Jedi are not body shy. They are super respectful of their fellow Jedi are from a culture where viewing the body of another is not a-okay and won’t push it, but they definitely view the body as “crude matter” or whatever Yoda says.

The Clones are not body shy. They’re clones, they all practically look like each other, unless they undergo special training. They don’t get things like privacy, and they’re used to it. Don’t be shy about sharing a shower, when the next attack can hit at any moment.

The Jedi are body shy around the Clones, as in “these soldiers don’t get anything, and I want them to have privacy” and will respectfully look away if the Clones are changing.

The Clones are body shy around the Jedi, as in “you don’t just stand there as the Alphas remove their armor and blacks, and you don’t just stand there as our Jedi Generals and Commanders remove their robes and tunics!” and will respectfully look away if the Jedi are changing.

[arcsimper5]

Do you think Plo Koon's mask also has a translator inside it which makes his language understandable in basic?

Because being rather reptilian/insectoid in appearance, I assume that their main method of communication is probably screeching and clicks, rumbles and vibrations.

Also because:

Plo: ... and once Wolffe, Sinker and I give the signal, we will... *mask crackles, unintelligible screeching noises*

*Plo stops talking, adjusts his mask and tries again*

Plo: *more screeching*

Shinies: *horrified whimpering*

Plo: *sad eyes at Wolffe*

Wolffe: *rolls eyes* The General is having translation issues. What he said was 'once we give to signal, you are to advance and rendezvous with us at the marked co-ordinates'. Understood?

Plo: *gentle clicking noises*

Wolffe: And... *sighs* he says he's proud of us.

Everyone else: *stunned silence*

Plo: *soft screech*

Wolffe: *glaring at him* Really, General? Do I have... Ugh, fine. And the General says he... loves us... *blushes furiously*

Plo: *delighted clicking noises*

[mearchy]

Fox's reports are the most sardonic, passive aggressive reports anyone in the Senate Security Office has ever read. But they have to accept them because they are all technically by-the-book correct and unnervingly thorough, and nobody can find fault with them as hard as they try. The less caf he has had, the worse it is. He goes from "As per Coruscant Guard records..." and "As all Senate employees are aware..."

to "As one might be able to assume by means of basic observation and an approximately swamp-rat level of intelligence-" and "To elaborate on that, as one is required by Report Administration Regulation Clause 365:1a to do, despite a statistically proven decline in reading comprehension among government employees-*"

My man is hitting the keys one by one so hard his keypad breaks. He's got reflexive tears of manic rage in his eyes. He's imbuing his incident reports with so much hysteria the next Jedi who comes into contact with them gets a headache. Free him

*he has a source for this, by the way. Fox includes citations in his reports like a maniac. Like Cody. This is because if he has to countenance one more follow-up email than is necessary he will brain himself against the desk. He will commit lobotomy by pencil. Just you try and fucking stop him, Thorn.

[ledeni-tm]

Padawan group holophoto !! In a universes where Ahsoka, Cal, Trilla, Caleb and Barriss all know each other and everything is fine ! (let me dream) Not pictured : their masters (Obi-Wan included, Ahsoka is his padawan too) gushing at the cuteness behind the holocamera.

[1-800-crscnt]

a silly hc i have is that all the ARF Scouts in the Coruscant Guard tend to run everywhere no matter the distance of their destination, and after non-Guard clones see that, it becomes a running joke that you can tell who a Guardsman spends the most time under by the way they get somewhere (i.e., Stone's men will find a vehicle-- including strange things that shouldn't be one-- no matter what, Thorn's men, which includes Commander Thire, will skate there like it's a perfect day, Hound's men will run like their lives depend on it, Fox's men will use everything but a main street and seem to teleport).

[chyarui]

Commander Wolffe, no introduction needed.

I had so much fun with his tattoos, if you couldn’t tell. After Fox’s depressing ones and Cody’s cute but simple one, I needed to go all out with Wolfy boy’s tat. Honestly, this man deserves a cool tattoo after having to deal with the torture of interacting with C-3PO. I could FEEL his annoyance through the screen (that sassy fucking eyeroll I swear you could feel it though his helmet)

[mayaarman]

Just thinking how much I love the whole "Cal Kestis is Obi-Wan baby". And now I really want to write something about Cal being sent as the commander/padawan for Obi.

This tiny menace following the steps of the bigger menace that is the General, and the clones just being like:

"Well, it looks like we are fathers now."

And accepting their fate as the protectors of the redheaded Stewjonis problem magnets that they have to follow to war.

[coffeeandbatboys]

The Clones reacting to you smushing their cheeks

Idk I had this idea and thought it’d be cute. Since the clones are supposed to have round cheeks, visualize live action and not animated 😂

Warnings: none, just fluff.

Fives, Wrecker, Hardcase, & Tup: Loving it so much, will lean into your hands and give you heart eyes. Maybe even press a few kisses to your hand.

Cody, Jesse, Kix, Echo, Vaughn & Mayday: Will blush profusely and look side to side for a second, before giving in and flashing you a tiny smile.

Rex, Hunter, Tech, & Fox: Not sure what to do, just give an awkward smile and internally scream because they secretly find it super cute.

Crosshair, Wolffe & Dogma: Not understanding any of it. Don’t know what you’re doing, not sure that they like it, 3/10 do not recommend.

[kryte-col]

Okay but Cody covered in blood?

He's just come off a mission where he has nearly lost all his weapons and had to rely on his vibroknife and hands alone.

But it's never just hands, it's teeth, it's nails, it's screaming, it's the kicking people in the knees with that nasty crunch.

It's the deep primal fight to keep a clone alive. Complete the mission.

Then he comes back calm as ever covered in blood but it's not his and gets to work as collected as ever.

[jedi-hawkins]

Omega introducing her date to the batch:

Date: "Hello, Nice to finally meet Omega's Family. Hunter: “Just show her respect and treat her right and you’ll be fine.” Wrecker: “if you need food recommendations, let me know. Omega loves trying new things.” Tech: “In addition to new foods, new sights and activities would be nice. She is very active in all senses of the word.” Echo: “Heh, yeah. Honestly good luck keeping up with her.” Date: “And I assume you’re the one who’s going to intimidate me and tell me to keep my hands to myself?” Crosshair: *scoff* “Oh, Omega can take care of herself. I was going to warn you about her cause I didn’t listen to her once and look what happened.” *shows stump* “And I’m her brother, so what do you think she’ll do to you?”

Date: 😳😰 Omega: "Don't listen to him. That was done by a brainwashed clone assassin back at the rise of the Empire. He just has a terrible sense of humor about it.” Crosshair: “Sounds like something a guilty person would say.”

[skybreakprimeonao3]

Jedi robes on Initiates and Padawans are large and roomy for the young to grow into. A Padawan might not get back to the Temple with a year of flying between constant mission, and it’d be embarrassing for a growing adolescent to have exposed arms and ripped seams.

Jedi robes on full grown Knights and Masters have multiple layers to help others. Another layer given to their Padawan or non-Force sensitive companions could save a life from the cold or sickness. Drop a layer as a decoy and still have the essential gear still on them.

Obi-Wan is the first to rip up his robes and tunics to use as temporary bandages until the Clones can get to a medic.

Cody is annoyed and heartened to see his General in only what is pretty much torn up short shorts and boots after a battle.

[arcsimper5]

High key think that the Force makes empaths of all the 'light side Jedi'. Part of what makes the light side is the ability to feel emotions being radiated, and some thoughts, if they're loud enough.

Cue the clone army appearing and the only things the Jedi are hearing are 'please let me be good enough, please don't hurt me or my brothers, please let me be good enough' and they have a few reactions:

1. The older ones immediately become mom/dad (Plo, I'm looking at you, buddy)

2. The padawans latch on and become besties.

3. Some Generals fall, immediately and irrevocably in love with their commanders and dedicate most of their free time to making sure they and their brothers get all the care they need.