#Squirrel rambles

[squirrelcinderella]

are you even real bffs if she doesnt make you cockwarm her strap while you share a joint?? and all u can think abt is how full you feel and how nice she feels inside of you and occasionally she thrusts into you really hard :333

[friendlycursedspaceotter]

Pro tip for my disabled and chronically ill friends in college: if you have to put a work order in and it is related any bit at all to your disability, write, very clearly in the "describe what needs to get done" section, "This issue is a health hazard," followed by a description of how the issue relates to your disability/chronic illness.

They are required to put it as a high-priority issue and fix it ASAP. Required BY LAW. Yes, I said it. They are legally required to fix these things, both under OSHA regulations and the ADA.

Play the disability card. I'm begging you. DISABLED IS NOT A BAD WORD. But don't abuse it. This is a fine line here.

Example: I'm heat and noise sensitive. My HVAC unit started breaking down and rattling loudly. That would be an example of a health hazard. A broken light could be a health hazard to someone with vision issues. I can only speak for myself here. But y'all have the right to speak up and advocate to yourself.

Neurodivergent people, this applies to you too. You're one of us (one of us! one of us! one of us!). Don't let the exclusionists gatekeep this information from you.

[summergirl2408]

Ya know the english language is generally fine and all but y'all just don't have decent words for some german essentials

For example I will never not hate the english word for Brötchen

I mean I know if I say either bread roll or bun people are gonna generally understand what I mean but neither of those words actually encompass the full range of german Brötchen

To me this is a bread roll:

And this is a bun:

But both of those words do not feel correct for any of these things:

Those are proper Brötchen and calling them bread roll or bun just feels so wrong

[foldingfittedsheets]

My friend Alex decided to “do a violence” to Tumblr by sharing a real actual recipe for squirrel soup out of The Whitehouse Cookbook. If you’re curious like I was it was written by a steward for the White House in 1887

The passage above reads thusly:

Squirrel Soup

Wash and quarter three to four good sized squirrels; put them on, with a small tablespoon of salt, directly after breakfast, in a gallon of cold water. Cover the pot close, and set it on the back part of the stove to simmer gently, not boil. Add vegetables just the same as you do in case of other meat soups in the summer season, but especially good will you find corn, Irish potatoes, tomatoes and Lima beans. Strain the soup through a coarse colander when the meat has boiled to shreds, so as to get rid of the squirrels' troublesome little bones. Then return to pot, and after boiling a while longer, thicken with a piece of butter rubbed in flour, Celery and parsley leaves chopped up are also considered an improvement by many. Toast two slices of bread, cut them into dice one-half inch square, fry them in butter, put them into the bottom of your tureen, and then pour the soup boiling hot upon them. Very good.

[whatremained]

“dan and donna are married” “dan and donna are close friends”

no. they fucking HATE each other.

they want one another dead.

they’re very neutral to one another on air, but the moment the camera turns off? they are clawing at one another like cats, they’re swearing and yelling at each other, they’re making petty comments towards one another.

they cannot STAND eachother.

and that. THAT is why dan agrees with jerry that donna is killer in hatchet town.

they are praying for one another’s downfall.

[entitiesandeggbutts]

im making you all look at my dog, she turned three today and she’s the best

[invinciblerodent]

btw yes, I'm also still stuck thinking about how in the cutscene at the start of the attack of Astarion's siblings, Astarion himself is standing right next to your bed.

Every time that scene is mentioned or brought up on my dash, I just keep thinking about how the bed the PC is shown using in the long rests (which seems to me like the top left one as you enter that side-room), and the one in which he's presumably been resting, are basically on the very opposite ends of the room.

like... sure, it already has me scratching at the walls to think about how, when unromanced, he probably felt something was wrong and went immediately to wake you and let you know (trust!!! friendship!!!), but it has me extra feral to think that he had abandoned the bed he had originally claimed in favor of yours, and was sprung from his lover's embrace by the arrival of his siblings. (Because you can't talk about cuddling, and cuddliness, and call yourself "cuddly Astarion" in the same scene, without actually cuddling sometimes lol.)

I kind of like to imagine that even on top of it being self-defense, springing to his feet so fast, there could also be something instinctively protective in the fact that he so quickly puts his own body between you and danger.

I mean,

right before the camera would focus on him, he's bent forward, snarling at them to get away, coiled to strike even unarmed (well. as unarmed as a vampire can be), and only relaxes into the conversation-pose when you stir, and Aurelia speaks.

And like, that doesn't feel like a conscious action, or even much of a purposeful decision from a mechanic standpoint (most likely the devs needed him to stand there-ish for there to be enough room for the PC to get up, and stand next to him for the conversation's camera angles to make sense), but I do like to imagine that at this point in the relationship, he just... acts without thinking, and puts himself into the more dangerous position on instinct. It lines up very nicely with that sweet, rather earnest line he says in the Wyrm's Lookout scene. (PC: "All that matters to me is that you're safe." Astarion: "I know you do. It matters to me, as well. I want to be able to protect you, too.")

... The rest of his "this is for us, this is to protect you, we're a team" lines are of course calculated, manipulative bullshit, and taking them at face value would be a mistake even if there is a kernel of truth at their core, but I think that one is genuine, and it's corroborated by this unthinking jump to your defense.

[pup-pee]

lalalalaa

[modeus-the-misanthrope]

While I cannot play Marvel Rivals due to graphical bugs. It has been very fun to see people literally do what Woolie Madden joked about.

"You get the blender/sfm artist to drag that Mei folder to the recycling bin, and put Squirrel Girl in her place."

[oreo-creampie]

At least you appreciate the spam likes. I know alot of creators that will block users for that

I will never understand why people don't like spam likes? I heard someone say it shows their fics aren't being read, but it's more like that person could be saving them for later

There are several times I come across i fic I don't have that time to read at the moment. Or simple i want to wait till I finished my day and Im curing up with the intentions of reading. A treat for myself later

Why would you want to block someone who is just trying to read content?

For me it's one of the highest forms of flattery. Cause I remember when the coutless amount of times I've read someone from someone and craved reading more from them. It's the way they write, and portray the character that hits so wonderful i have to binge their works

Which always makes it heart warming knowing that in the page that person is wanting to see more of. Not saying anyone who spam likes it binges my content craves my writing style/or the way I write the characters, just that they want a little more from me as a content creator. It's exciting, flattering and makes me low-key proud of myself.

Spam likes are welcomed and encouraged, go nuts

[squirrelcinderella]

hii tumblr nation i yearn to make posts!!!!!! i’ve just been busy this wknd having large amounts of lesbian sex

[cherry-pop-elf]

Squirrel Girl My Beloved

Just ignore me I wanna just. Ramble about Marvel Rivals

Squirrel girl has always been my favorite and she’s done so well in the game. Her playful fun nature, the fact she’s voiced by her literal original planned live action actress, and her body type

I won’t show a photo but my mutuals in the HPMA server can confirm. She is LITERALLY my body type. T to T

It’s jaw dropping. She has my exact proportions and everything. And people on tumblr are feral for her

Does that mean people would like my body type as well?

I hope this massive love gives her the boost she needs to get more content and comics

And maybe we can finally get a continuation of her and Kraven with his super hero arc

This is the year or Kraven and squirrel girl like bro. His movie came out and she is staring in a stupidly popular video game

My favorite marvel characters ever are getting so much love

It makes me so happy

Especially since her body type is dead to dead on with mine

Makes me feel pretty

If anyone’s taking request can we please get Marvel Rivals Squirrel Girl and Kraven interactions please. Tell me his ass wouldn’t be a chubby chaser lmaoooo

Just….Its nice to see a ACTUAL human body

MY human body

Love you Doreen!

[squirreltastrophe]

been really into fishges lately......... trying to get better at painting also :3c

[mmelete]

I don't need therapy, I need to disappear into the woods for a month and bond with every animal I can find. That will heal me way better.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Some experiences just blaze themselves across your soul forever. Even if you don’t want them to. My memory is often spotty but I remember some things I’d rather not with perfect clarity.

Like the morning I was walking to my car to go to work. It was a chilly fall morning, mist and fog clung to the treetops, the thin light was grey and damp. It was early enough that no one else was stirring, it was like I had the world to myself.

My car sits right beside the dumpster, which is enclosed by a paltry wooden fence for propriety. As I got within a few feet of my car I heard a bizarre wet sound. I paused and looked toward the dumpster.

Two squirrels were darting away up a nearby tree, startled from their pillaging of trash. The sound I’d heard was haunting me. Something small but heavy, something damp and limp. Almost against my will I looked around the corner of the fence.

There, splayed on the cold wet concrete, was a dead parakeet. Dropped unceremoniously into the dumpster, it had been found and feasted upon by squirrels, then abandoned with a splat into my still misty morning.

I was so distressed. I’d never met this bird but seeing it’s little body left so carelessly with the accumulated rubbish hurt my heart. It hadn’t been cherished enough to be disposed of with care. It’s body had been left to scavengers.

All day I would remember it and shudder but I couldn’t convey to any of my coworkers how awful it had been.

I’ve never been able to see the neighborhood squirrels the same. Rodents are omnivores and it’s just a fact of life, but the ones by us are cursed for me now. I can still hear the sad wet sound of that bird hitting the ground.

[peblezq]

A sketch of Tony Stark and Doreen Green from my new fic "The Mechanic & the Squirrel"