#hello influx of new followers; i do this type of rambly shit pretty often

[invinciblerodent]

btw yes, I'm also still stuck thinking about how in the cutscene at the start of the attack of Astarion's siblings, Astarion himself is standing right next to your bed.

Every time that scene is mentioned or brought up on my dash, I just keep thinking about how the bed the PC is shown using in the long rests (which seems to me like the top left one as you enter that side-room), and the one in which he's presumably been resting, are basically on the very opposite ends of the room.

like... sure, it already has me scratching at the walls to think about how, when unromanced, he probably felt something was wrong and went immediately to wake you and let you know (trust!!! friendship!!!), but it has me extra feral to think that he had abandoned the bed he had originally claimed in favor of yours, and was sprung from his lover's embrace by the arrival of his siblings. (Because you can't talk about cuddling, and cuddliness, and call yourself "cuddly Astarion" in the same scene, without actually cuddling sometimes lol.)

I kind of like to imagine that even on top of it being self-defense, springing to his feet so fast, there could also be something instinctively protective in the fact that he so quickly puts his own body between you and danger.

I mean,

right before the camera would focus on him, he's bent forward, snarling at them to get away, coiled to strike even unarmed (well. as unarmed as a vampire can be), and only relaxes into the conversation-pose when you stir, and Aurelia speaks.

And like, that doesn't feel like a conscious action, or even much of a purposeful decision from a mechanic standpoint (most likely the devs needed him to stand there-ish for there to be enough room for the PC to get up, and stand next to him for the conversation's camera angles to make sense), but I do like to imagine that at this point in the relationship, he just... acts without thinking, and puts himself into the more dangerous position on instinct. It lines up very nicely with that sweet, rather earnest line he says in the Wyrm's Lookout scene. (PC: "All that matters to me is that you're safe." Astarion: "I know you do. It matters to me, as well. I want to be able to protect you, too.")

... The rest of his "this is for us, this is to protect you, we're a team" lines are of course calculated, manipulative bullshit, and taking them at face value would be a mistake even if there is a kernel of truth at their core, but I think that one is genuine, and it's corroborated by this unthinking jump to your defense.

[obaewankenope]

this is the autistic ask nonnie, if you just tag it with "autism" or smth I should be able to find it. thank you!

Hello you! I promised to give you references yesterday but chaos happened (so sorry, I’ll make up for it I promise) and so I’m a day late! But all is not lost!! Here, be prepared for the influx of resources and such to help you out :))

Note: We are avoiding any and all links to AutismSpeaks since it is bad and evil and wants to cure a perfectly natural condition and keeps coding anyone who is Autistic as some inept monster-child and it’s so ablest that fire (and bitter hate) is my go-to solution for them rn.

Additional Note: Most of the things you find online about Autistic are written from a poor-parent’s perspective and often focus on the negatives of ASD and then hyping up ‘treatments’ to make your child “better” and help “improve” them. It’s all icky and wrong and while I personally feel that some aspects of ABA could be potentially beneficial, the way in which it is generally applied is horrible and so ablest it fucking hurts.

Right. Let’s set off shall we!

.

1. What is Autism?

In a sentence? Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects how ASD individuals see the world and interact with it. 

Note: ‘Neurodevelopmental’ is a fancy way of saying, how the nervous system of the brain develops. People with Autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders are known to have a-typical rather than neuro-typical (i.e. someone who doesn’t have Autism etc).

2. What are the Symptoms of Autism?

Well apart from making it sound like Autism is a disease - which really? rude - the signs of Autism can vary depending on a lot of socio-cultural factors (as can a lot of disorders tbh) but there are some that tend to be consistent across the board. 

Autistic children always show signs of at least two of the following:

Issues with social interaction

Limited verbal and nonverbal communication

Repetitive behaviors or interests

Note: I myself showed issues with 1 and 3 at an early age, with 2 becoming more pronounced from a shiteload of traumatic experiences I’m still working through at the age of 23 :)

There are some signs of Autism that infants show between six months and two years which include:

infrequent eye contact

fixation on objects

no babbling or gesturing by 12 months

no single words by 16 months

no spontaneous two-word phrases by 24 months.

The NHS website has a good summary of the behaviours common to Autism in children which I’ll sort of paraphrase here (I do recommend you read through it and perhaps speak with older siblings/family who may be able to provide you with anecdotal evidence of you doing similar things yourself; this can often help build the groundwork for a formal diagnosis):

Children may have issues with using non-verbal, non-explicit behaviour when interacting with other children; e.g. playing games may become additionally difficult if they rely on eye contact or gestures

Eye contact is limited or non-existent or it is prolonged and often uncomfortable for the person being stared at

Isolation is a very real thing with ASD children who may shun the attention of children their own age, playing with younger or older children, or seeking out things they can do alone

Empathy is affected by ASD (in the book The Science of Evil, Simon Baron-Cohen points out that there’s two types of empathy and ASD individuals tend to lack the cognitive empathy of understanding and imagining other people’s feelings, but don’t lack the affective empathy which can drive them to becoming upset or highly emotional when someone is injured) and this makes understanding people’s emotions and feelings really frickin hard. The challenge here is neurotypical people don’t have the issues with communication that ASD people do and so get an instinctive, innate set of rules to guide them in communicating and empathising with other people while we... don’t. Hence why ABA is usually mentioned as being useful for ASD people in order to ‘correct’ this (hiss-hiss, bad logic here, stop trying to fix and instead provide new tools for us hiss-hiss)

Repetition is a thing and people will hate us for it. Words, gestures, expressions, all of it. They may all be repeated constantly for days, hours, weeks, months, by ASD children. Some don’t do the ‘pretend play’ most children do, others repeat the same pretend play over over

Change is evil and it’s hard as heck for ASD children to adapt to when it’s random and unexpected. Stimming behaviour or meltdowns aren’t uncommon at this point - flapping hands, covering ears and screaming/crying - because there has been a rapid change in the environment or structure and our tiny ASD brains do not like the change and want the order and routine we’ve come to identify and enjoy because order is relaxing. 

3. Am I Autistic?

Honestly, best answer I can give to anyone besides the shrug emoji a half-dozen times (seriously, I will do this to ya’ll) is I don’t know.

Being Autistic isn’t so much a “one day I woke up and suddenly I was Autistic” like it can be with depression. It’s more of a “one day I woke up and realised, ‘hey maybe I’m Autistic because X, Y, and Z’”. 

Note: There are some cases of people experiencing brain injuries and becoming Autistic but that’s more as a result of their brain going “shit shit shit, must redirect current to new pathways, shit shit shit” and less a natural, biological or genetic predisposition towards the disorder.

Additional Note: I really hate the word ‘disorder’ and want to slap myself every time I use it, but I digress.

4. How do I go about getting a Formal Diagnosis?

I got diagnosed purely by chance if I’m honest. As a child my mother took me to our local GP who said I was “two years advanced” and that was that until I hit 15, ended up in counselling and was self-harming regularly because hey-ho near-death experiences are really traumatic, who knew! My diagnosis then wasn’t regular or uniform, even though my elder brother is Autistic as well as there’s actual research suggesting a genetic heritability for ASD in siblings of Autistic individuals and their parents but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway. Moving on!

In the UK, most of the time you can just go to your local GP and say “hey I think I’m Autistic, can you refer me to a specialist on this?” and, while they might argue or try and quiz you themselves about it, they don’t really have the right to refuse you (though they can and often do... assholes).

If you’re in school, or have someone you think is Autistic in education at present, you can go through the school to get a referral. Sometimes this can be quicker/easier or can help kick your GP’s ass into gear and get the ball rolling.

One of the things that exist in the UK is a Speech and Language Therapist. I’ve seen these guys twice in my short life - once when I knocked out my two front teeth like a champ and couldn’t talk properly for ages (I was a stupid child), and the second time when I was mentally messed up and they went “huh, think she’s Autistic ya know” and things rolled from there. In my experience, they’re pretty good and the tests they give you are also pretty decent.

You’re measured on emotional intelligence, watched for how you speak, expressions, if you include people in conversations, how much you talk, if you allow other people to join in or if you monologue and other things. You’ll get asked about your interests and if you ramble for twenty minutes or sth, chances are they’ll be ticking a box labelled “shows intense interests in specific topics” and you’ll have another mark in your Autism checklist.

5. Okay, so I didn’t read any of this, give me the low-down?

Autism is an disorder that affects social skills and usually involves lots of repetitive behaviour. 

It’s diagnosed by a medical professional with experience of the disorder. 

I only know how the UK goes about with diagnosing it but logic says America needs to work somewhat similarly.

If you think you have Autism, chances are you do, and you’ve had it for a long time and been coping without realising.

AutismSpeaks is evil and needs to go die in a fire.

That is all :)