#Spren poll
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Logicspren poll
#Stormlight archive#Spren poll#Logicspren#Jasnah#Navani#Dalinar#Kaladin#Skar#Rlain#Rlain in a sweater vest#Shallan#bridge 4#Lift#Lift gives you extra credit if you bring her donuts
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Hey Stormlight characters, do you think Kaladin is good in bed?
Inspired by the poll. :) Shakadolin joke stolen directly & without mercy from @imtheseventh's tags on said poll.
Elhokar: Bah! Of COURSE he is!
Elhokar: He's good at LITERALLY everything else so why wouldn't he be good at this too???
Azure: Hm, I don't get the vibe that he's good in bed.
Azure: He's more of a fighter than a lover.
Vasher: He scowls too much.
Vasher: Women don't like that.
Jasnah: "Good" is entirely subjective, of course. Only the man's partner could qualify Kaladin Stormblessed's quality, and only for themself.
Jasnah: ...
Jasnah: That being said, I suspect the number of partners who would rank him highly would be low.
Syl (inexplicably wearing glasses & carrying a clipboard): Yes. Yes he will be. Because I will be there giving tips and advice based on what I've learned from observing others!
Pattern (humming): Shallan says humans don't like it when we spren watch.
Syl: No, no - he's gonna be glad. I have good advice!
Shallan: Well...even if he isn't good at first, he sure will be when Adolin and I get done with him!
Adolin: Yeah!
[Adolin & Shallan high-five!]
Skar: Ha ha of course he is! Kaladin is great with his spear!
[Skar holds up his hand for a high five only to find the rest of Bridge 4 huddled together, looking serious & contemplative]
Teft: I'm going to be honest, lads--I don't know if Kaladin has any real experience in that area.
Rock: Ha! Experience is not biggest issue. You need to listen to partner--and Kaladin would!
Drehy: I mean...he might be okay with women, but he definitely needs to get over some of his hang-ups before he's ready for a man.
Dru: So true.
Sigzil: Well...he does pick up things quickly. He's not afraid to practice.
Lopen: Ha ha yes! Kaladin is sure good at drilling!
[Lopen & Skar high-five!]
Rlain: Rather than guessing, isn't there someone we could ask?
[Everybody looks at Lyn]
Lyn: ...
Lyn: Oh? You want me to give you the real Kaladin Stormblessed scoop?
[Bridge 4 nods eagerly]
Lyn: Well forget it! You all can sleep with him yourselves if you're so curious!
Sigzil: Oh dear...
Skar (sympathetically): That bad, huh?
Lyn: I-I didn't say that!
[Kaladin suddenly walks in]
Kaladin: Hey what are we talking about?
[The longest silence known to man]
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Please don't vote for Mob in the upcoming Mob vs. Shallan Davar/Veil/Radiant dissociation swag poll!
Beloved mutuals, I write today to make a desperate plea for Squimbo From My Polls, as I threatened to do earlier. This is relatively unimportant and I need to be working on homework right now but this matters, To Me.
You see, Shallan, and Veil, and Radiant, my girls, my beloved, my collective poor little meow meow, soon face Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100 in @dissociationswagcompetition's tumblr poll bracket. And folks, I love both of these blorbos. I really do. But Mob does not deserve to beat Shallan and Veil and Radiant! Shallan specifically here is the QUEEN of dissociating! And she's swagful! She deserves to sweep this entire bracket! However, the Stormlight Archive fandom is a fairly small one, and Mob Psycho's is... not. Do you know the post that's about Squimbo from an obscure manga from 2004 vs Pikachu, where Pikachu wins based on pure name recognition? I fear an impending situation like that when Shallan's system absolutely DESERVES to sweep. Friends, I know we all like Mob. I ask you to listen to my plea and vote for Shallan's system instead.
Let me start with the obvious. The mostly non-spoilery. To start, Shallan, Veil, and Radiant are a canon DID system. Yes, canon DID, that's not demonized and is accurately, fairly represented! They aren't side characters, either; Shallan's system is arguably one of the two most main characters in a book series with a very large cast! It's awesome! And Shallan, to be clear, has dissociation issues besides purely being part of a DID system as well. She is constantly emotionally dissociating to cope with life. It gives her significant memory trouble. She dissociates hard and constantly and her mental illnesses are a significant part of the narrative. And let me re-iterate: Shallan's system is so so swagful. Shallan is quippy and funny and smart, Veil is an utter badass spy, and Radiant is a master swordswoman. So much swag.
Plus, she does the whole bottling up emotions thing. I get that that's why Mob is in this poll probably and let me tell you: she does all that and more. She deserves this win.
This enough should be enough information to vote for her, but I want to give specific examples, and that gets into spoiler territory. So, a cut is in order.
TO START I want to say that Shallan dissociates so hard that the count of people that she murdered and then forgot about murdering is up to FOUR!! FOUR PEOPLE. She dissociates so hard her dissociation has a body count. All were very necessary murders which is why I do not consider this demonization. Her motives were incredibly understandable, such as self defense or necessary to save the world. Does not change the fact that she entirely forgot about them.
Also. She does not remember like half of her childhood at least, during which some of those murders took place! It is commonly suspected that she probably has more people she's killed under her belt and we just don't know about it because she forgot about them. Very little is known about Shallan's past in general because she dissociated too hard and doesn't remember it. She managed to acquire a shardblade, one of the most powerful weapons in the setting, and forgot how she got it.
Also!! She's very avoidant of things that are trauma triggers, especially if they threaten to make her remember stuff she's suppressed. It's very significant because Pattern, her spren, keeps trying to get her to confront her past and move on, and she keeps fighting this every single book. This is an ongoing, deep internal conflict, and not something brushed under the rug.
Finally: this system is so swagful guys. They She got stabbed and thrown into a room full of corpses, experienced The Horrors as they were being carried there, and still got up to continue their mission later, over the course of which they took a crossbow bolt to the head and acted like it was totally fine and the others were crazy for being worried about them, and they pulled it out solely because they couldn't talk around it. PLUS they magicked up an entire army once. Also, she's witty, and always has a quip, and she's married to another swagful guy, AND she and her husband would be down for a polyamorous triad with Kaladin if he was, which he sadly isn't. So much swag.
So please vote for my blorbo please please please I'll love you forever if you do. the end
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Weekend Kink - To Be a Spren on the Wall
Well, well…another weekend, another excuse to share those thoughts that won't leave your head. According to the Tumblr poll, the majority of you have chosen…Spren POV! It was a close race, but don't worry, you might see those other prompts soon enough.
Hit the link below and stop by!
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For those who are interested, here's the list of Mature and Explicit-rated fics from this list. (Interested in the Gen and Teen fics from this poll? Click here!)
Mature Evi/Sja-anat - Of Me. Evi finds someone worthy of worship. Set during Unification era. RoW and Oathbringer spoilers. Lyn/Laran - Truth Leaks Out, like Stormlight. They get high and pine for each other. RoW spoilers. Kaladin/The Mink - Held. Kaladin is mezmerized by The Mink and the way that bondage affects him. RoW spoilers. Moash/Elhokar - Moash Keeps it Real. Poetry based on a tumblr post. Set during WoR. Malata/Danlan - Weapons. Malata teaches Danlan as they travel together. Set during WoR but has OB spoilers maybe?
Explicit Kadash/Teleb - Breaking Him In: First Night. Set during chp 3 of Oathbringer. CW rape, blood, violence and - Truthflower Wine. Years after the Unification, Teleb and Kadash and Kalami have reached a mutually beneficial arrangement. Lyn/Laran - Before You Go. Sex comedy. RoW spoilers. Kaladin/Renarin/Rlain - Kaladin's Crash Course in Mateform. Kaladin will do anything for Bridge Four. Set after OB. Teft/Kaladin/Veil - Allies in the Alley. Kal and Veil help distract Teft from his drug cravings. Set after OB. Nohadon/Dalinar's self-insert OC - Dalenar The Brave and Mightee and Wise. Dalinar writes self-insert Way of Kings erotic fanfic. Set after OB. Elhokar/Kaladin/Veil - The Incident at Kholinar. A sex pollen-spren descends on Kholinar. OB spoilers.
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Poll ideas:
Best love story
Best companion (TenSoon, Nightblood, Sawk, spren, Chiri-Chiri)
Worst father/mother/parent
Most interesting planet ecology
Which planet has the best weather (Scadrial would have to be specified as pre- or post-Catacendre
Which planet has the best fashion
Would you rather have: Thaylen eyebrows, Herdazian nails, Aimian skin, Horneater jaws?
Oooo thanks! I will get working on queueing those polls
If anyone has poll ideas, please send them in!
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Casualties of Round one. There are slight spoilers here so be wary.
Cosmere Sexyman
Despite Lightsong doing nothing to deserve it; he somehow managed to defeat Hobo god, Vasher. (Ok maybe Lightsong did a thing or two)
He may be a Herald, but Jezrian was no match for Dalinar Kholin and his nice ass
Sadly, Dockson is out. Maybe we can blame it on Kelsiers charisma (because we all know that he wouldn’t have as many followers if he wasn’t hot)
Maybe it was his abilities to see the future or maybe it’s not that, but Renarin was able to quite easily secure his spot on the board and defeat Rayse.
Sure Wayne might have a thing for hats, but Elend has an all white outfit and likes to read. He made his way to the top taking Mistborn era 2’s chances of having a sexyman with them. It’s ok. There are the ladies.
Just because he’s Mostly Unchained, doesn’t make Moash any less sexy as determined by him beating Nale the herald with the interesting crescent moon shaped scar.
Zellions pure unfuckable energy was just too much for his lover, Szeth son-son-Vallano with the white vans.
Again I do apologize for this, but Raoden is out. But actually him and Adolin are now friends because I say so.
These heralds don’t stand a chance. Especially Ishar against Kaladin “asexual but everyone wants them.” Stormblessed. His raw energy radiating off of the simp list led Kaladin to be the pure winner.
Sure back in the day Gavilar might’ve been hot but he’s also a shitty person and is quite untrustworthy. Surprise, surprise Mraize with his mysterious energy has overcome the former king of Alekthar
It was quite a battle out on bridge four. Old man or (not so) one armed Herdazian. By a small margin, thanks to his cousins, The Lopen was able to move on to the next round. Sorry Teft.
Maybe it’s because Susebron is the god king and therefore magically sexy or maybe it’s because Mistborn era 2 isn’t peoples favorites, but Allik has been pushed off the metaphorical blimp.
Both of them suck, yes, but fun fact! Amaram sucks less than Sadeas becuase Sadeas did not sweep. Tragic, I know.
Taravangian and his unstable mental capacity was not able to handle the heat of Sazed and his two shards. Maybe he just had a dumb day.
The duel of the H’s was not much of a duel and Hoid quickly came to the top over Hrathen. Hoids vibes are better than Hrathen, and I think that put him over the top.
Axies the collector successfully annoyed Lezian the pursuer off of the leaderboard by asking him too many questions about spren. Lezian tried to kill him, but it didn’t work. So he just left to try and pursue others or something.
Cosmere sexyladies
Blushweaver and her very horny energy (don’t deny it. We all read Warbreaker that was a very sexually charged book) outbid Paloma and her great vibes.
Venli and Timbres pulsing were absolutely no match for Jasnah and her beauty and poise and big boobs
Shallan Davar and her art skills were no match for Vivenna and her vibes. Shallan spent too much time sketching to actually pay attention to the sexywoman contest.
As we know, Spy Milfs are absolutely zero match for science Milfs. Therefore ilali got absolutely demolished by Navani.
Lalai is a scribe on Roshar. Meanwhile Vin is an allomancer and her raw talent has made it easy to get past Lalai.
Despite her sister’s vibes and raw energy, Siri has failed to get past Marasi “girl with a gun” Colms.
MeLann has absolute powerful vibes. Since they’re both Kandra, they can take any form they want. However Lessie also went insane and MeLann has not. Therefore MeLann swept the polls
Steris accounts for everything that can possibly happen. She didn’t account for Evi Kholin being a great mother, however. Despite that, Steris has the greatest vibes. Evi sadly has been burned with a small margin of a loss.
Allrienne is too much of a girly girl for Sarenes tall girl fencing energy. Therefore the Sarene sweep had been captivated.
Shan Elariel is a great example of a secretive girlie who has impeccable spy skills. However the living vibes of Cultivation were too much for her spying to handle.
The fused fistfight is the kind that can be fought by icons. Raboniel and Leshwi are both icons. However Lewshi’s heavenly ones vibes are no match for Raboniels science milf energy.
Rysn and Shai are both underrated queens and deserve any and all love. However Shai is no match for the Dawnshard that Rysn holds with in her.
Silence Montane is a dangerous woman, and Cord is an equally dangerous woman, however she cannot live up with her girlfriends Dawnshardic ability.
Aesudan and her crystal monster magical girl transformation is not able to stand up to her relatives loving mother vibes and Hesina swept Aesudan.
Herald vs Shard. Edgli is the shard on Nalthis and her calm, comforting voice isn’t at all able to handle Shalash’s absolute powerful heraldic energy and loses.
Eshonai isn’t as much of a scholar as Khriss and her total scholarly vibes made it difficult to fight. Even with her shardblade, she still cannot fight Khriss’s scholarly skills and Eshonai has lost.
#this is stupid#but here we fucking are#cosmere#brandon sanderson#cosmere sexywoman bracket#cosmere sexyman bracket#long post
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Radiant Assassins
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2FsY0PF
by Kingsdaughter613
I’d like opinions on which Radiant Orders the various Assassins should be in. I’m planning a series of drawings with each Assassin (or Templar), their Spren, and their Radiant glyph. Thanks!
Words: 139, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson, Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Maria Thorpe, Yusuf Tazim, Ratonhnhaké:ton | Connor, Haytham Kenway, Edward Kenway, Mary Read, Shay Cormac, Liam O'Brien (Assassin's Creed), Arno Dorian, Élise de la Serre, Jacob Frye, Evie Frye, Henry Green | Jayadeep Mir, Aya | Amunet (Assassin's Creed), Bayek (Assassin's Creed), Kassandra (Assassin's Creed), Darius (Assassin's Creed: Odyssey), Shao Jun, Nikolai Orelov, Arbaaz Mir, Eivor (Assassin's Creed), Alexios (Assassin's Creed), Aguilar de Nerha, Maria (Assassin's Creed 2016), Desmond Miles, Lucy Stillman, Aveline de Grandpré, Adéwalé (Assassin's Creed)
Additional Tags: artwork, polls
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2FsY0PF
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...
So apparently Brandon’s people are doing some kind of FAQ poll things. That’s fine. But looking at the options in the first such poll... the writing-process question isn’t of interest to me, but the others I can answer myself without looking up anything.
Are Hemalurgic spikes fabrials? Well, no. For one thing, they contain no gems nor Stormlight. They are similar in that they’re objects that carry Investiture. But recall that fabrials require spren, which are Splinters, and that we haven’t seen any Splinters on Scadrial. (As of a few books ago, anyway; I wouldn’t want to claim anything for certain about the faux-kandra, and I don’t claim to have noticed everything.) Also I doubt there’s anything you could do with a fabrial, apart from sucking out its Stormlight, to let a person or animal get power from it.
Where does Dark Oculators’ power come from? Blood. Recall in book 1: the blood of a born Oculator, mixed into the lens, allows anyone to use it.
#brandon sanderson#just seems odd#am i a walking coppermind?#these are not the interesting or juicy questions
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