#Spanish Style Homes Inte

[meaghangobparq089]

10 Hair Raising Home Decor Ideas Traditional Creative And Inexpensive Ideas

Home Decor Farmhouse

[xopinkmilk18xo]

Get to know me!

1. Name

Courtney Jane Smith

2. Nationality

Australian

3. Age

18

4. Birthday

11th December 2001

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)

Sagittarius / Ophiuchus

6. Gender

Female

7. Sexuality

Bisexual����💖💜

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Ew I know

9. What do you/did you study?

I will be going on to study Children’s Nursing at University but in school I studied Sociology, Photography and Childcare

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?

I currently hold a part time job at my local corner shop, but will hopefully end up with a job as a children’s nurse or something to do with childcare:)

-

11. Your birth order

Aaron, Charlotte, Abbey, Me:), Lacey

(I think that is what this means)

12. How many siblings do you have?

4

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Yes but not with my first oldest sister

14. How many friends do you have?

Like 2 lol

15. Your relationship status

Taken🥰

16. What do you look for in a SO?

Good personality, being good looking helps (dont want to date a troll u know) and well I guess that’s it really

17. Do you have a crush?

Yes on my boyfriend

18. When did you have your first kiss?

When I was 14

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Serious and meaningful

20. What are your deal breakers?

I’m not really sure:/

-

21. How was your day?

It was okay, could’ve been better but overall it was meh

22. Favourite food & drink

I love pasta like I could marry pasta haha. And my favourite drink is probably either fresh orange juice or something fizzy

23. What position do you sleep in?

On my side, hugging my pillow with my leg out as if it’s straddling someone (I’m lonely, my boyfriend needs to stay over at some point)

24. What was your last dream about?

I honestly wish I could remember but they are so fucking crazy right now

25. Your fears

Spiders, snakes, heights, large crowds, death (morbid I know) and being lonely:(

26. Your dreams

To travel the world with my baby🥺 as well as buy my own house, get my dream career, get married and have babies (basic I know but this is what I want in life and will feel so lucky and blessed if this happens)

27. Your goals

Same as the above I guess? To travel the world with the loml, become a child nurse, get my dream house then get married, have babies and live a happy long life:)

28. Any pets?

Yes! A cat called Binka and a dog called Shiro (Japanese for White as he is a white Japanese Akita)

29. What are your hobbies?

Cooking, baking, cleaning (weird I know), singing, dancing and sleeping haha

30. Any cool places in your area?

Um, I mean I live about 30 minutes from the beach and it has a “hidden cave” (it’s quite easy to spot if you know where it is) that I go to with a few friends some nights and watch the sunset. So that’s pretty cool

31. What was your last awkward situation?

They happen so often I don’t even know which one to write about I’m such an awkward person lol

32. What is your last regret?

I don’t know really

33. Language/s you can speak

I can speak Italian, Spanish, Russian and some French

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

To a certain extent, yes

35. Have any quirks?

Um I’m not sure?

36. Your pet peeves

I have so many but my BIGGEST pet peeve is the people who like to one-up a situation so I have a friend like this but she’s like one of my only friends so I don’t want to say anything woops but for example I could say to her “I only got 5 hours sleep” she would then turn around and be like “oh well I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 3am and couldn’t sleep” it’s like okay cool but stop trying to one up me thank u bye

37. Ideal vacation

DisneyWorld or Bora Bora (two complete different places I know but I’ve been to both many times and they’re both amazing)

38. Any scars?

I have a scar on my chin from when I hit it on the stair rail when I was a child and I have a surgery scar from when I had my appendix removed

39. What does your last text message say?

It’s me texting my email to my boyfriend because he needed it for something (kinda personal nothing bad tho)

40. Last 5 things from your search history

Majority of it right now is me googling Birthday presents for a family member as well as flight times because I was curious what the time from LA to Texas was haha

41. What’s your [device] background?

Lock screen is me and my boyfriend and my home screen is a flower picture I took

42. What do you daydream about?

A lot of different things, it all depends on how I’m feeling

43. Describe your dream home

Something small and quaint yet modern and big enough to raise a big family

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion

I have nothing against religion and what people believe in. I personally am not religious but I do believe in something. Not God or Jesus but I believe that something like that HAS to exists (sorry if I offended anyone I really did not mean to:/)

45. Your personality type

Really shy and quiet (social anxiety tings😚dont worry I have actually been diagnosed) but ince you get to know me I come out of my shell a bit more

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done

Went sky diving (it was terrifying)

47. Are you happy with your current life?

Yes but no

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life

I don’t really know how the hell to answer this question I’m sorry🥺

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

A lot of different colours but I wear mainly grey and black clothes hehe

50. Favourite colour to wear?

Black or grey🤪

51. How would you describe your style?

I don’t really know, definitely not trendy I can tell you that but all the styles I want to try I just KNOW will look bad on me

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Not really no lol😚✌🏼

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I honestly would change my entire face, especially my nose, if it was smaller I’d feel slightly better about my appearance (nothing against big noses lol I just don’t like mine)

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I had my ears and nose pierced but took them out and just forgot to put them back in and now the holes have sorta closed up.

I then also have a small turtle on my ankle - for a close friend (still alive lol but it’s just a nice thing to have) and I have plans to get a few more just need to decided when I want them because I keep chickening out

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes sorta but only by my boyfriend

56. Favourite aesthetic?

I’m not sure?

57. A popular trend that you dislike

I’m not really aware of any popular trends as of right now tbh

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

Adore You by Harry Styles and for some reason Feel so Close by Calvin Harris

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.

Mr Brightside - I hate the song (dont attack me pls) but it lowkey, high key is a BOP

60. Favourite genre?

Mainly throwback songs so I guess pop songs? Tbh my genre of music is all over the place

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?

I love 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction but that’s it really

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

I HATE Dance Monkey and High Hopes (they get on my nerves so much idk why)

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5

September - Earth Wind & Fire

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

Jealous - Labrinth

Bad Romance - Halestorm (such a bop)

Break Free - Ariana Grande

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing, I also play piano and guitar (strings have broken though and so haven’t played in a while)

65. Do you like karaoke?

I LOVE karaoke

66. Own any albums?

Yes, mainly 5SOS and One Direction haha

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?

Sometimes, no particular station as I only listen to it to fill in the silence in certain situations

-

68. Favourite movie/series?

I love the Frozen films but also the Harry Potter films sooooo much

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc

I don’t really have a favourite tbh

70. Your fictional crush/es

I know it’s typical but I have the biggest crush on Harry Potter lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

I don’t know?

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so

No not really

73. Favourite greek god?

I don’t have a favourite Greek god but I like Athena purely because I like the name haha

74. A legend from where you live that you like

I don’t really know of any legends however there is a myth that a Panther is on the loose in the Blue Mountains

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?

I like to look at art and admire it however I do not have a favourite artist or anything like that

76. Can you share your other social media?

I sure can:)

Twitter       Instagram      Wattpad

Snapchat - cjmushmush (you don’t have to add it and also don’t question the name I was 11)

77. Favourite youtubers?

Shane Dawson, Ryland Adams, Morgan Adams, Jeffree Star and The Dolan Twins

78. Favourite platform?

I am obsessed with Tik Tok so I’d say that’s probs my fave

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?

Far too much I can tell you that

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?

I used to play minecraft and now all I do is play Sims 3 and 4 which are my absolute faves

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)

I don’t really have any

82. Do you play board/card games?

Yes but not very often

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

No I didn’t even know that was a thing

84. Favourite holiday

I LOVE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH❤️💚❤️💚

85. Are you into dramas?

Yes

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?

I don’t know what a death note is?

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I wouldn’t choose world peace because then everything would be the same and it would be boring but if I had the power I would make sure everyone had a stable home with at least hot clean water and a nice warm bed, as well as curing world hunger because I’m nice like that

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Probably not

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A ghost

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Become a ghost haha

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

Anything but Courtney - my name was almost Octavia so that would also be out of the question

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?

So many people I’d love to do this with so I’m not sure

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🦥 (only because I love sloths)

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

(these are the most random things I’m sorry)

I was born in the UK (not true, born in Sydney)

I am not single (True, I am in a relationship:))

I love avocado (I actually DESPISE IT)

-

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because that can = snuggles duh

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Be a villain because I hate the attention (hero would probs get a lot of attention) and everyone hates me anyway lol

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Probably sing everything considering I do that a lot anyway

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Control time because I’d go back to the past a change some things then go back to today so I can still be with my boyfriend❤️

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Be immortal that would be pretty fun

100. ….. or …..?

What does this one even mean?

[verdigrisonamber]

Courier Six

Fallout New Vegas is my absolute favourite Fallout, because it’s fucking amazing. I only wish Obsidian had had longer to make it so they could flesh it out even further. The Legion don’t deserve to be the ‘straight up bad guys’ (especially when the NCR are so fucking hateful). And ED-E is my best friend ever. Here is some blurb about my Courier, Dolores. Name: Dolores Urquhart Nickname: Dolly, Aeris (Latin for Copper – Eye colour, hair colour being like verdigris.) Age: 28 Height: 5’7” Specials: STR 5, PER 5, END 7, CHR 8, INT 8, AGI 7, LCK 6

Eyes: Hazel Hair: Mohican, dyed teal Ethnicity: Caucasian Gender: Cis Female Body type: Athletic Sexuality: Bisexual Relationship Status: Friends with benefits/ Lovers Partner(s): FWB: Red Lucy, Jack (Great Khans) Lover: Vulpes Inculta. Family: Deceased. Mother (Jessica) & Father (Frank) were both Doctors (which is why Dolores is proficient in medicine). Dolores was 14 when they were murdered by raiders (looking for chems) that the NCR should have protected them against. No siblings or extended family.

Languages: English (first language), Spanish (asks Raul to help her become fluent) Disabilities/Illnesses/Injuries: Likely brain damage from being shot twice in the head by Benny. Multiple scars from injuries sustained whilst travelling. Scars: Forehead (left) scarring from when Benny shot her x2 and from Doc Mitchell’s surgery. Chest, head and spinal scarring from the Think Tank’s surgeries (the Auto-doc can only do it’s best to minimise these). Various limb & torso scars from buckshot & bullets, knife wounds to arms, scarring on knuckles from fist fights. Clothing: Regulator duster, Recon Armour, Stealth Suit MK II (the AI drives her mad and she is extremely grateful when Raul manages to silence it), Authority Glasses, Party Hat, Pre-War Spring Outfit, Sexy Sleepwear Fashion Style/Lifestyle: Wears Light armour to aid agility & movement, when relaxing likes to feel pretty (also likes to dress nicely for her lovers). Enjoys people’s reactions to wearing silly clothes especially if a situation is serious/tense. Weapon of Choice: Melee: Combat knife/Baseball bat. One handed guns: That Gun/A Light Shining in Darkness. Two-handed Guns: Hunting Shotgun/Sniper Rifle. Rarely uses Energy Weapons but likes Pew Pew. Doesn’t use Heavy Weaponry (she’s agile rather than strong). Skills: Proficiency with Repair, Lock-picking, Medicine, Speech. Has good endurance and athleticism (essential for Couriers). Will use Speech & charisma before resorting to violence. Weaknesses: Sarcastic, impatient, kleptomaniac Faction: Yes Man Friendly Factions: Caesar’s Legion. Due to relationship with Vulpes, she is able to trade with the Legion & visit the Fort. She saves Caesar’s life by scrounging parts for the Auto-doc (she isn’t proficient enough in medicine to perform the surgery herself). She carries out several requests by them but stops short of fully allying with them because of their treatment of women, her distrust of Lenius and her fears over the safety of Vulpes should Lenius take over the Legion from Caesar. Boomers: She realises they could be a great asset so clears out the ant’s nest and charms the kids with teddies, dinosaurs and rockets and finds herself readily accepted by the rocket-loving Boomers. Great Khans: Approves of their lifestyle & probably would have joined them if they had more power & influence. Enjoys a very casual relationship with Jack (until she meets Vulpes). Followers of the Apocalypse: Admires them greatly. Wishes she was a good enough person to join them. Attempts to aid Freeside because of them. Wishes Arcade would join with her, but he declines due to her reputation with Caesar. The Kings: Loves to visit The Kings to see Rex (H/C that The King & Rex are reunited once Rex gets a new brain), also enjoys the stage shows. Aided the Kings vs NCR because fuck the NCR. Hasn't as yet cashed in The King’s ‘favour’. Enemies: Is very careful to appear friendly to all factions, though loathes NCR. She thinks they are ineffectual, weak and will cause the collapse of New Vegas if they ‘win’. Hates bureaucracy & sees them as little more than ‘Enclave lite’. Of course blames them for her parents death. Fiends/Vipers/Jackals: Tries to keep far away from these groups as you cannot reason with them. Powder Gangers: Idiots with dynamite. Neutral Affiliations: Gomorrah: Despite herself, she finds Cachino charming, so helps him rid the casino of Big Sal & Nero. Warns Cachino that if he abuses any more women she’ll castrate him. Also aids Joana escape with Carlito. White Gloves: Stopped the cannibalism, would have burnt the whole place to the ground if she didn’t think the Strip needed the casino. Likes: Blamco Mac & Cheese, reading, repairing electronics & weapons, singing (badly) along with ED-E to the radio, dogs, Nuka-Cola, sleeping, exploring, hiking, hacking pre-war technology, swimming, fresh fruit, listening to Vulpes tell her tales from the Legion whilst they cuddle Dislikes: Cazadors, NCR, having your brain removed without being asked, stones under her bedroll, feeling cold, sleeping alone, litter/rubbish (can spend hours tidying before feeling comfortable somewhere. Both her parents were fastidious to the point of neuroticism and demanded cleanliness in the home as well as in their clinic, if Dolores is nervous or stressed she exhibits similar ‘clean freak’ tendencies to her parents.), bureaucracy & saluting. Friends: ED-E, Raul, Lily, Vulpes Inculta, Red Lucy, Jack (Great Khans), Rex, Fisto, Boomer kids Acquaintances: Boone, Veronica, Arcade, The King. Former friends: Cass (Cass disapproved of her relationship with Vulpes and her friendliness with the Legion, Dolores got fed up with being threatened by Cass so told her to fuck off, & wasn’t surprised or saddened when Cass did just that.) Enemies: Benny (feigned seduction, then stabbed him in the throat with a concealed switch-blade. Shot him in the head with Maria to make sure he was dead.) Personality: Sarcastic, dry sense of humour, intelligent, open, cheerful, charming, happy to help if she believes you are good for the world and her, sexually open. Trusts her gut feelings and easily becomes mistrustful; particularly after almost being murdered (you have to be or you’ll end up in a shallow grave), gets a thrill from stealing & finds it too hard to stop.                                   ______________________ Other info: Adores ED-E. Cried for a week after the Lonesome Road and wishes she could go back and blow everyone up to try to save ED-E #2 (Even though this doesn’t actually work in the game, you sadly lose the little dude no matter what you chose). Has Raul set up a long range radio receiver on ED-E #1, so she can find new radio stations because if she hears ‘Johnny Guitar’ just 1 more time she’ll kill someone. Loves travelling with Raul. He’s non-judgemental, funny, and she loves his Vaquero outfit. He helps her with her Spanish & repair skills, she helps him feel useful again. They make a great team of gunslingers. Raul moves from his cabin to live in Jacobstown in one of the spare cabins. Dolores is so happy she gets to visit Lily AND Raul when she visits Jacobstown. After Hoover Dam Doores is given one of the cabins meaning she can stay whenever she likes. Misses her ‘Grandma’ Lily and visits often when she feels it’s safe enough to return to the Mojave. Travelled with Boone to REPCONN but was terrified he’d kill her if he found out about her and Vulpes/The Legion, so let him return to Novac. Travelled with Veronica for a while. After returning from the Sierra Madre she tells Veronica about Christine, and together they return to the hotel so Veronica and Christine could be reunited. Knows she’s playing a dangerous game with the Legion and worries she’ll end up enslaved, and knows one day she’ll have to betray them. She is terrified of losing Vulpes or worse, that he’ll kill her or she’ll have to try to kill him. Tells Vulpes of her concerns re: Legate Lenius and begs Vulpes to leave the Legion & California before he’s murdered by Lenius. Vulpes disappears before the battle at Hoover Dam. 8 months later, Dolores can be seen travelling with a blond haired man and ED-E (the Playing Card set you can get from the Special edition has Vulpes with blond hair so this is why I h/c him bleaching his hair at the end as part of his disguise). Greatly enjoys being a Courier. She loves to explore and see other lifestyles and meet new people. The events of New Vegas take their toll on Dolores and she can feel her normally cheerful personality being whittled down. She becomes short tempered and judgemental, resorting more and more to violence. To try to temper this she spends time talking with Arcade. She knows how he feels about her affiliation with the Legion and is glad he still keeps friendly with her (despite declining to travel with her). Whenever she’s in Freeside or nearby, she makes a point to visit the Followers to not just add to her medical skills, but to spend time with those worse off than her so she can see how others are affected by the Legion & NCR. This helps her make up her mind to go with Yes Man.

[radioactive-synth]

can you please share some fun facts about tamir i love her

sure :D im glad to talk about her! rhanks @sierramadre

her SPECIAL is: 5 ST, 8 PE, 7 END, 10 CH, 1 INT, 9 AG, 8 LCK

her hair is naturally silver, and usually wears it in a bun, as being too busy to cut her hair so often

she usually wears a feather hat, which she found it in a fridge on the way to NV

she basically has no plans ahead, she is very spontaneous and improvise on the way.....or try to survive

despite her low INT, she is great at speech and can get out of a situation with no bloodshed

she wears glasses to appear smarter; she snaps at anyone that points out her low INT

she is not even sure if Tamir is actually her real name or just a name she received from merchants she traveled with when she was a kid

she lost her parents due of raiders at the age of 4; she cannot remember them or their names or her last name; she sworn death upon any raider she will face

she was found by a group of caravan, and started to use a gun at the age of 6 and acted as a caravan guard until the age of 15, as she took the courier job

when she was 10 years old, she met Olivia (Vaughn’s mom) at a trading post, and the woman ghoul was the first to ever show kindness to her; years later, Tamir recognized her and is happy to see her again

she loves animals and children and will do anything to help them

she had no plan to take over NV, but Yes Man convinced her, so she defeated the Legion and saved the women and children, and gave them homes and jobs, and to the kids, a chance to go to school in NV

her fave food are apples, and.....she still need to learn how to cook

her fave activity to relax is to shoot bottles

she knows Spanish and a bit of Chinese

prefers to wear leather armor with metal spikes and blades and plates on her, but while she is out in NV, she wears a more casual outfit, so that the kids can hug their fave heroine 

she feels more bored and lonely, and hears about General Zander in Commonwealth, so she and Rex goes in Sanctuary to meet him, and she offers her help (as she is anyway glad to kill more raiders)

she does gets attached to the kids, befriends almost everyone and falls in love with Cait

her style of combat is reckless, and prefers to use shotguns or even trying her luck to heavy weapons, like the gauss rifle

[klangpath]

Who is klangpath?

so this was inspired by the amazing @studiousbees with her post and i thought it'd be cool to do this too! (since ive gotten so many followers since my last sort of introduction)

Basics

i was born in the US to two iranian parents :) i’ve always been exposed to many different languages and cultures because the city i was raised in is basically a melting pot which is really how my interest in languages started! im in some tough years in high school right now (meaning inactivity ㅠ), trying to focus on my rank (currently 5/600) so i can get automatic admission into my dream college~ my goal professionally is to go into the medical field and i currently want to specialize in infectious diseases but that’ll change a lot in the future i suppose, haha. 

hobbies include: learning languages, tv shows, anything i do with friends/people i love, overwatch and other videogames, and art. 

Languages

**letter scale is according to the lvl im at for the language

english: ~16 years: native speaker (hehe)

farsi: ~16 years: mother tongue; not fluent. speaking:  B-, listening: A-

i visit my family in tehran yearly in the summer and always learn new things everytime i go there! ive learned a lot also in regards of just learning languages in general? like even if you dont understand something if you listen intently and pay attention you can learn through context clues and pick up new vocabulary. also the word part structure is very similar to korean so that helps lol. i speak it a lot at home with my family but in iran i’ve been told i have a “cute” accent ㅠㅠ rip me 

spanish (int): ~3 years: studying in school; speaking: B, listening: B-, writing and reading: A

my favorite spanish experience was when i visited cancun with my family a couple of years ago and we went down to the local shops and actually experienced the culture and life there. i got to speak with a lot of locals and it was so much fun?? to see them so excited when a foreigner spoke with them in their language was AWESOME. the shops and just the aura i felt from the place was just amazing and breathtaking. 

korean (int): ~1 year: self studying; speaking: B-, listening: B, writing and reading: A

its pretty common knowledge on my blog if you’ve been following it for a while that im huge into overwatch and thats essentially how i got into learning korean (and its the best way to study for me lol). ive met some amazing people on there that just talk to me normally in korean and dont even see me as just a foreigner you know? ive also been the first foreigner that some have even talked to. the experiences ive had with them and things ive learned are just...indescribable. they’re always so ready to help me if i dont get a word and they look out for me as if i was their younger sister ;; i just love them a lot okay and they motivate me to learn more, faster, and better. 

besides that though, i also have a goal to study abroad for a semester once i get to college in my junior year. my dream college has really good exchange programs with SKY universities and i think it’d be a great experience since they have good medical programs/classes for bio. it’ll be a fun experience too and i might even meet some of my friends there ^^

Blog Stuff

i started this blog just to mainly compile resources in one place for me but i also wanted to create my own content and have at least a 50/50 ratio of my stuff and reblogged stuff (sometimes i get lazy though ㅠ another goal...). it helps me to learn when i set it up like a ‘teaching’ style or make posts about what im learning :) i hope a few people can learn from my journey as well, though as i am a learner, do your own studies on the information you see from me! if you find errors tell me so i can fix them and learn, too ^^ 

More

if you have any more questions, ask me ♥

[kawuli]

Ten facts about me

@hrovitnir tagged me for this so let’s see if I can come up with some things you  don’t all already know...

ETA: this is.......very long. but here you go /flings hands

1. My grandparents were missionaries in what was then the Belgian Congo in the fifties--the building schools and clinics kind, not the convert-the-heathens Poisonwood Bible kind, which is not to say it wasn’t colonialist as hell--and my mom was actually born there. When we were in Minnesota earlier this month we met a guy at my aunt and uncle’s church who grew up in the village where my mom was born and he was like !!! you are my sister!! and it was pretty cool. He and his family are apparently friends with my uncle and his family.

2. My other grandparents were Okies: they got married and started farming in Oklahoma in 1936, went to California when my aunt was a year old, stayed there a couple years...and then were so homesick they went back 2 years later, with their total cash wealth of $20. My grandma still owned 320 acres in the Oklahoma panhandle when she died.

3. Since we’re apparently doing family history...my dad’s career path was roughly:

- fifteen minutes of university at a small conservative christian college

- custom cutting with a combine crew

- drag racing and working in a hospital kitchen in LA

- “I came home one day and a couple guys were disassembling motorcycles in the living room and that’s when I decided that college was for me.”

- Loved his philosophy class at community college a whole bunch, got a BA in philosophy from cal state

- Somewhere in there he got married (i know zero details, it’s Not Talked About)

- Went to seminary

- returned to small christian college from step one as an adjunct

- wife divorced him to run off with some other guy

- met my mom (winning pickup line, apparently: “So, do you....eat dinner?”)

- tore down a flagpole to protest the vietnam war at Conservative Christian College (apparently if you bend a flagpole back and forth enough it snaps)

- started a PhD 

- married my mom

- finished his PhD

- kids happened

- moved to Indiana to be a professor of old testament

- stayed

- retiring next year probably

...........so y’know, if you’re worried that you’ll be a failure because you didn’t do Traditional Career Path, maybe worry less. On the other hand, they had like 50 applicants to replace his position, so also maybe don’t get a PhD in theology right now.

4. Countries I’ve been to, because I should write it down somewhere (in roughly chronological order, and counting any place where I at least left the airport (starred are less than 24h) but not layovers): Canada, Japan, Guatemala, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Ecuador, South Africa*, Malawi, Kenya, Netherlands, Mali, Burkina Faso, Niger, Ethiopia, Tanzania, France, UK, Ghana, Turkey*, Senegal

5. The Brazil one is funny, a friend of mine at university was like “hey do you want to go to the World Social Forum in Porto Alegre? I’ll loan you plane fare!” He had a TA job and was making the extravagant sum of $5000 for a 10 week term, and had full tuition+room and board covered by financial aid. So we went. We camped, went to lots of lefty talks and multi-language hangouts, felt pretty out of place but it was neat. I didn’t tell my parents. Still haven’t, actually. It hasn’t really come up.

6. Possibly the most useful educational experience I had in university was being in charge of party construction. No really. So, I went to Caltech, which has 7 houses, kind of like harry potter yes and let me tell you that makes this much easier to explain than it was in 2001 when you couldn’t assume that everyone knew about harry potter. Each house has one big party per year. Our house had a rave-type-thing. We had a $5000 budget, and the party was dry (technically...) so all of that was for construction. The “house” was a 1930s--build spanish-california-style thing with a big courtyard in the middle, which is where the party went. We built multi-level structures and put a roof over everything and turned our lounge into a chill room with soft things and had complicated electronic light displays and DJs and etc etc etc. I was in charge of this for 2 years (my not-in-school year when I went out and slept on couches for a while, and my junior year), and half in charge my senior year because i said i wasn’t, but the asshole ex boyfriend kind of was, and see: asshole. Getting a party constructed and organized in a couple of months when you and almost your entire labor force is overworked sleep deprived engineering students with very limited practical skills (i taught so many 18yo nerdy boys how to swing a hammer omg) is...a Job. We accidentally shorted out the building several times, the courtyard flooded and people were soldering a net of LEDs over their heads while standing on chairs in a foot of standing water while I ran around trying to get a sump pump working...y’know, the kind of thing that’s definitely part of the average college experience. Most of the stuff we did is now actually not allowed (as opposed to then, when it *wink* wasn’t allowed *wink wink*), like attaching cables on the tile roof to hang flammable plastic over top of everyone. We did have to pass a safety inspection, and my favorite part of that was the time the safety person was like “welllll I don’t know if this is sturdy enough....” and we pulled out a civil engineering textbook and went “LOOK OKAY [math]. Also: this is up to building code!”

7. My first job after university the person I was interviewing with was a caltech alum. I put “party construction coordinator” on my resume, and that’s pretty much the only thing we talked about at my interview.

8. The longest I’ve lived anywhere since high school was my apartment in Mali for 3ish years, and there I was traveling probably half the time so it was mostly just a home base where my stuff lived. I am pretty ready to stop moving every couple years, which is a good incentive to get out of academia.

9. Despite the whole academia thing, I’m very much an “applied” person. My least favorite math classes were the ones where I didn’t see how I could use it (complex analysis) or where we had to do things the hard way so we could appreciate the easy way later. I’m looking at you, required class in quantum mechanics: four. pages. of integration by parts. four. I kept losing negative signs. It took hours. In the middle of this an upperclassman came by where a handful of us were working, picked up the textbook, flipped through it, pointed, and went “see? in a couple weeks you’ll do that same problem and it’ll take 2 lines.”

Reader, I screamed.

10. I wrote (and illustrated! badly!) tons of very short books in oh, first and second grade. Then I stopped, because...I’m not sure? It was around the time I started not being good at school, because (as it turns out) adhd makes memorizing times tables hard and then makes doing Projects hard and somewhere in there I figured writing was just another thing to be bad at. Also I was a Science Person and Science People and Writing People were different categories.

And from then on it never occurred to me. I wasn’t really exposed to fandom because I had about zero pop culture knowledge, mostly because my parents didn’t want us watching anything violent (starting with teenage mutant ninja turtles) or playing video games. And then I was at nerd school and doing other things. So anyway I didn’t really know fanfiction was a thing until I got seriously upset about the way Mockingjay ended and went poking around the internet and fell into AO3 and LiveJournal and eventually tumblr. And @lorata and @xanify and @penfoldx (and others) kept poking at me to write stuff, and I figured out I liked it. That was in 2014 and since then I’ve written something like half a million words of fanfic. I’m still not a Writer though, see, because I’m a Science Person. More to the point, if I’m not a Writer than I don’t have to be good at writing, which has thus far allowed me to short circuit the perfectionism/self-loathing/terror spirals which plague e.g. my academic writing. It’s a neat trick, actually, I just wish it worked for more stuff.

[meaghangobparq089]

14 Sensational Home Decoration Ideas Storage Creative And Inexpensive Ideas

Home Remodel Outdoor

[fictionfromgames]

Bleach: Duelo Paraíso (Bleach d20 campaign setting)

Novenas Shinigami arc Opening theme: "Take Me Home" by Ken Ashcorp

Raito reached for her sword, but it wasn't there. It wasn't that she saw anything, but it was dark and rainy again, just like it was when she received it.

A crablike monster moves in diagonals along the street, a muddle of grays and purples with a giant mask and unnerving humanlike teeth. Its four arms should have been claws, but instead are long and spindly with hands at the end. One of its left arms holds a sword with an odd tsuba. Raito throws another rock, trying to distract it from the child wearing what looks like a couple of chain links on her chest.

"Oi, schoolgirl," a familiar voice called out ahead of her. It was her again.

"Yaeyume, I'm in university," Raito snapped back to reality, "Do you see me in a uniform?"

A very tall, pale woman with midnight black hair leaps into the lane and in this flash, the monster's sword arm disappears too. She carries a heavy European looking blade. She looks directly at Raito and tells her to run.

"Sorry, it's just, at a certain point, everyone just looks young," Yaeyume grins, "Not 20, not 18, just obviously younger than me."

"You're not old!" Raito insisted, then noticed what the shinigami was carrying, "Are those... frozen dinners?"

"Yeah! Just out getting groceries, not business this time," the taller woman nods.

"Yaeyume, you have to eat real food, not just frozen gyoza!!" Raito fumes.

"This is real food!" came with a frown, “Protein, calories, the uh... other things!”

A human woman somehow sword fights a giant crab monster with ease. It follows a pattern; the masked crab attempts to pick up the sword and she lops off another arm or hand. Their chaos stumbles closer to the girl with the chain. Raito moves in.

"Criticisms aside," Yaeyume sniffed, "Are you coming over for more practice?"

"Yes, but let me cook at least," Raito pleaded, "I'll bring some veggies."

Yaeyume looked almost taken aback, ready to protest, when Raito continues.

"I'll bake something too, we can have dessert," she smiled.

Raito sweeps the child into her arms and keeps running. The fight shouldn't be important but she looks over her shoulder anyway. The sword fighter was drawing down on the monster's mask. She shuts her eyes.

The rain started coming down heavier, and the shinigami flinched. She didn't have an umbrella, just bags full of boxed meals. Raito jogged over.

"Here, let's switch," she offered her umbrella, "You can walk me home."

"If going out of my way means my gyoza thaws, I'm blaming you."

"Just take the umbrella you goofy half-giant!"

"Yes, miss Kotsuzato, of course, miss Kotsuzato" came the mocking servility.

"Who are you?" the dark haired woman demands, "How can you see any of this?"

Raito is at a loss, and merely replies, "R-Raito... Kotsuzato."

"Okay well rule number one, Raito Kotsuzato," she frowns, "If you're a civilian, you run *away* from Hollows, regardless of what's going on."

"This girl was going to be crushed and you didn't even care!" Raito shouts, "I don't know who you think you are--"

"What do you even know about spirits, civilian? Hmm?" she quirks an angry brow, "Sure, she might have been kicked around, but she's not going anywhere until I perform the Soul Funeral."

"Spirits?" Raito looks at the girl with the chain.

"Yeah, the Hollow, her, that," she points at the sword on the ground, "All none of your business."

"Wait, so... I wasn't crazy?" Raito's eyes go wide, "I've been seeing things since--"

"One thing at a time," the tall warrior hits the child with the butt of her sword, "Go peacefully, sweetie."

The girl vanishes before getting to speak, and Raito blanches.

"What did you do?" she looks around.

"One thing a time," the swordswoman repeats, "I'm Yaeyume Chidama. I kill monsters called Hollows, and I help lost spirits get to the afterlife before they turn into Hollows themselves. You're not crazy."

She nods toward the spare sword.

"And there may be an opening if you want to help. I'll tell you more if you do."

The rain starts to pick up, and Raito, processing one thing at a time, wonders when she dropped her umbrella.

**********************************

I apologize for nothing in these upcoming posts, I’ve been rewatching Bleach because I stopped when the Soul Society arc was originally airing and I’m all in. I’m writing more in the dub style where it’s given-surname and other bits that will be obvious in the future. Bleach d20 is an absolutely absurd module based on D&D 3.x and d20 Modern. Duelo Paraíso is an AU setting set basically whenever you want, I’m doing it recentish rather than when the original show or manga was set. I will detail the weird separate elements in future posts. I didn’t make up any of the fake Japanese-- thank you to fantasynamegenerators for that, since Tite Kubo made up all his names too and I am not confident in matching that aesthetic myself. Spanish thanks to google translate. In the appendix, Not Entirely Serious Things, there’s a little template called Main Character, which bumps up stats and doubles XP gain among other things, like a theme song, which just goes to show how serious these posts are gonna be, and it has been applied to Raito. Raito Kotsuzato, lvl 1 Smart Hero/lvl 1 Warrior Shinigami Str 10 Dex 16 Con 10 Int 17 Wis 14 Cha 15 HP 18 BAB +1 (+4 to hit w/zanpakuto) Def Bonus +6 (+4 base, +3 Dex, -1 Flaw) Fort +2 Ref +3 Will +2

Flaws: Vulnerable (-1 Def), Broke Feats: B Educated H Alive 1 Seasoned 2b Weapon Finesse Skills Knowledge Art 12 = 4+3+5 Research 9 = 4+3+2 Perform Sing 6 = 4+2 Knowledge Current Events 11 = 4+3+4 Knowledge Popular Culture 11 = 4+3+4 Craft: Visual Art 7 = 4+3 Search 7 = 4+3 Decipher Script 7 = 4+3 Knowledge Streetwise 11 = 4+3+4 Knowledge Tactics 11 = 4+3+4 Navigate 7 = 4+3 Knowledge Arcane Lore 11 = 4+3+4 Knowledge Negacion 5 = 1+3+1 Sense Motive 4 = 2+2 Jump 1 = 1+0+0 Balance 5 = 2+3 Tumble 5 = 2+3 Suppress Reiatsu 3 = 1+2 Class Abilities Talent: Savant (+1 Competence bonus to Research) Shinigami subtype Zanpakuto (1d6 damage, 19-20x2) Alternate form (zanpakuto took the form of a 16th century German rapier upon ownership) Note, the Educated feat as described in Bleach d20 gives an untyped bonus to knowledge skills equal to the ranks in that skill, so that’s why all of that looks nuts for a 2nd level character. Really, a lot of the weirdness is just Bleach d20.

[bigyack-com]

AirAsia Philippines to Launch Flights to Zamboanga from Cebu and Clark

AirAsia has confirmed plans to launch flights to Zamboanga from both Cebu and Clark in Philippines. Located at the southernmost tip of the Zamboanga Peninsula in Mindanao, Zamboanga city was once a Spanish settlement and Hispanic influences can still be seen in buildings and structures. Also known as the sardine capital of Philippines, Zamboanga city supplies around 90% of the country’s canned sardines, an industry worth approximately US$16 million in annual export earnings to the city.

AirAsia Philippines CEO, Ricky Isla, said, “We are pleased to announce our new domestic destination, Zamboanga. Our newest route cements AirAsia’s connections amongst the country’s major islands: Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. The launching of the new route is in support of Tourism Secretary Bernadette Romulo Puyat’s push for a livelier tourism within the Philippines and her department’s campaign, ‘It’s More Fun in the Philippines.’” Flight Z2 461 is scheduled to depart from Clark at 13:40 and arrive in Zamboanga at 15:25. From Zamboanga, flight Z2 462 is timed to leave at 15:55 and arrive in Clark at 17:40. AirAsia will operate these flights four times per week. From Cebu, flight Z2 591 will depart at 07:45 and land in Zamboanga at 08:50. Flight Z2 592 is timed to depart at 09:20 and land back in Cebu at 10:30. Flight Z2 593 will leave Cebu at 11:05 and arrive in Zamboanga at 12:10. The return leg from Zamboanga, Z2 594, is timed to depart at 12:40 and arrive in Cebu at 13:50. Flights are scheduled to commence on 29 March 2020. See latest Travel News, Interviews, Podcasts and other news regarding: AirAsia, Philippines, Cebu, Clark. Headlines: AirAsia to Resume Manila - Saigon Flights; Launch Clark - Tagbilaran  COVID19: Qantas and Jetstar Make Major Changes to Network  Air Astana Changes Ticket Rules for Travellers from HK, JP, MO, SG, KR and TH  Hong Kong Int. 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Thompson as VP Global Internal Communications & Culture  Vietjet Launches Daily Flights Between Hanoi and Bali, Indonesia  WTTC Moves April's Global Summit from Puerto Rico to Mexico  Andy Flaig Joins Wyndham as Head of Development South East Asia / Pacific Rim  Air Astana Reports 2019 Net Profit Increase of 461%  NASA Orders Three Airbus H135 Helicopters  Hahn Air Simplifies Distribution of Corporate Shuttle Flights  Sydney 7s to Take Place at Bankwest Stadium on 1-2 February  Russia's Sirena Travel Signs Multi-Year Retailing Deal with ATPCO  Shell to Use Airbus H160 for Offshore Transportation  ANA to Operate International Flights Out of Haneda T2 and T3 from 29 March  CAL Group Makes Changes to Inflight Services on Taiwan-HK / Macau Routes  Philippines Suspends Visa Upon Arrival Service for Chinese Nationals  UK Visitor Arrivals Spending Up 19% in October 2019  Todd Probert Joins CAE as Group President, Defence & Security  Six Senses Appoints Mark Sands as Vice President of Wellness  Air France and Sata Azores Airlines Start Codesharing  Norwegian Implements New Hand Baggage Policy  AirAsia X Launches KL - Taipei - Okinawa Flights  First Boeing 777-9 Begins Flight Tests  Accor Commits to Global Elimination of Single-Use Plastics by 2022  Etihad Receives EASA Approval to Train Boeing 777, 787 Pilots  Jeane Lim Appointed GM of Grand Park City Hall Hotel in Singapore  Whitbread Opens First hub by Premier Inn Hotel Outside of London's Zone 1  Delta Enhances Travel Experience for Pets  All Blacks Sevens Make History in Hamilton  Air Canada Becomes Official Airline of Cirque du Soleil  Phuket to Host Thailand Travel Mart (TTM+) 2020 in June  Thailand: Did Strength of Thai Baht Affect Number of Arrivals from UK in 2019?  Seaplanes in Thailand? Interview with Dennis Keller, CBO of Siam Seaplane  Future of Airline Distribution and NDC - Interview with Yanik Hoyles, IATA  Cambodia Airways Interview with Lucian Hsing, Commercial Director  HD Videos and Interviews  Podcasts from HD Video Interviews  Travel Trade Shows in 2019, 2020 and 2021  High-Res Picture Galleries  Travel News Asia - Latest Travel Industry News  Read the full article

[loganpfister]

CONSIDER THIS AN EXPERIMENT...

Generally, I listen to a lot of music. different genres, different styles, different languages, & different meanings. I truly listen to an extremely diverse array of music, & yes NYC people…even country music. Though I tend to listen to a lot of alternative/indie, hip-hop, modern R&B & Dance/EDM, I often add a lot of jazz, pop, rap, Reggae, Caribbean I don’t know really anything. Even songs in French & Spanish. Though the importance of this blog isn’t about the different genre, otherwise the different music streaming platforms featured across media (though many streaming platforms play more specific genres for such platform).

The 4 streaming platforms that will be discussed are

Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora & Tidal. Over the past year, I’ve purchased subscriptions to all of these streaming services & thus I am here to tell you my favorite.

Let’s start with Spotify, shall we?

Spotify is available to download for free online & with the app but it uses a lot of ads & a specific number of skip privileges.  Spotify fees are $10 per month, though you can bump that down to $5 by signing up with a student email. paying up allows you some real advantages, including being able to choose songs on-demand via mobile devices — an important feature for most users that the ad-based service doesn’t offer.

Spotify has a huge brand & generally has an enormous music library with many genres. It is actually a fact that Spotify is the most popular service. this is true for a number of reasons. Spotify has a very user-friendly navigation screen. My favorite, the Spotify app can be hooked up to your Google Home or Amazon Alexa & can activate your music playlists by simply asking “Alexa, play Sam Smith’s new album”. Spotify has a lot of premade playlists created by Spotify staff with also many podcasts & radios for every occasion.

Those looking to find their next favorite band will also love Spotify for its updated playlists like Monday’s Discover Weekly and New Music Friday, all of which follow your listening habits to recommend surprisingly fitting new artists to match up with your listening tastes.

Spotify also links up to your Facebook account to allow you to follow each other & see what your friends are currently listening to. I definitely recommend streaming newcomers to get on the Spotify train.

Next up is Apple Music.

Apple Music is similarly expensive, $10 per month, $5 for students, or $99 per year, though it is cheaper if you are a student. There is unfortunately not free way to use Apple Music by using ads.

Just to start, Apple Music’s interface makes me uncomfortable. The face is very plain & white & doesn’t look very appealing. Though I feel Spotify is more attractive, Apple Music toys with Spotify’s adaptability & usability with compelling reasons persuading me to want to go with Apple Music in some cases.

First, Apple Music is exclusive to Apple devises, obviously, which allows you to ask Siri to play your music which is not possible with Spotify. Also, before music streaming was a thing, buying music on iTunes was very popular, where a lot of your old music will still be saved to your music library, where your phone can save up to 100,000 songs oppose to the 10,000 songs Spotify can hold. (Both of these things are very meager & really don’t mean much to me). Soon, Apple has a Home Assistant like Google & Amazon, so that will be giving Apple Music more usage. iTunes is one of classic & original music services, so their platform features tons & tons of songs & genres. Also, Apple works hard to be the first to showcase songs from some of the world’s biggest pop artists, including Drake, Taylor Swift, and Frank Ocean. If you’re a fan of the biggest names in pop, love radio-style listening, and own an iPhone or other Apple device, Apple Music could be your service of choice.  

Continuing to Tidal…

Also, if you like being a stubborn audiophile bitch about the music you listen to you’re just a hardcore Jay-Z then Tidal may just be that service.

First off, Tidal is unnecessarily expensive. It doesn’t offer a free alternative & it's $10 to listen to low-quality music or $20 for the highest/ studio quality audio, which is quite expensive.

Yes, Tidal is owned by Jay-Z & several other music artists have shared int he business, generally other rap/hip-hop artists.

It is the first artist-owned streaming service in the world with the idea of an artist-owned streaming platform striving to restore the value to music by launching a service owned by artists. I’m not sure why Tidal remains so exclusive, but it is fact that it has a significantly smaller music library with poor music discovery features & actually a very glitchy interface that often ends up glitching & spending a majority of the time buffering your extremely high-quality song, rather than playing it at a normal streaming quality. Tidal’s audio quality makes the service something of a dichotomy, as Tidal seems to be aimed towards the mass market, but it’s really best for those with high-quality gear who care more about the fidelity of their audio source than interface usability or library size. Until Spotify upgrades their quality options, Tidal may merely stick around, for now. If you have expensive stereo systems which can handle Tidal’s 1411kbps audio, then yeah waste your money, but if you want to be reasonable, skip Tidal & save some money.

Lastly, Pandora.

If you’re generally older aged or just simply want to listen to music, Pandora may be just for you. Pandora is best for its radio capability which for some, like restaurants, is perfect for. The restaurant I work at on Long Island uses Pandora Radio & all you need to do is type in n artist or genre & Pandora finds songs you may be interested in.

Pandora is one of those services that are free to download & listen to with ads, but you can pay $5 a month for ad-free radio & $10 for ad-free music streaming. Pandora has a lot of songs, but not as much as Spotify & Apple Music. I haven’t stuck with Pandora very long, aside from my times in Jr High when it was very popular, but I’ve heard Pandora features a lot of slower relaxing type genres & coincidently a lot of EDM & dance music hits. With such an abundance of data about each song, Pandora is able to offer the best curated, radio-style streaming online, all based on simple thumbs up or thumbs down ratings. While the on-demand service is a nice addition, Pandora is best for people who like to simply sit back and let the tunes roll on.

Personally, the winner is Spotify because of its huge selection of music, cheap price, download capability, Home assistant capability, & friend connections.

[stephsnycmumumuses]

𝓖𝓪𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓪 𝓜𝓪𝓭𝓭𝓸𝔁

Gabriella Maddox has always been the type to march to the beat of her own drummer, always expressing herself through interesting fashions and living the way that she deems comfortable. There was always a fear in her of stepping outside of her little world and becoming more than she thought she was capable. Living int he shadow of her younger sister, she often felt that her parents didn’t expect great things from her. When she lost her job at a local cafe, she began work as a caregiver for a quadriplegic young man who had lived a fulfilling life prior to getting into the car accident that caused his disability. As it happened, the pair fell in love through their time together and she had given her heart to him fully. Sadly, he passed away from complications of his injury, but managed to leave an inheritance behind for Gabby. Unable to face her grief from home, she flew across the ocean and found a new place in New York City. The money he had given her helped her to find a comfortable home and begin work as a caregiver once again. Though she still enjoys it, Gabriella is suffering with a depression from which she’s having a difficult time getting out.

Basic Information

Full Name: Gabriella Fawn Maddox

Nickname(s): Gabby, Gabs, Ella.

Age: thirty-one.

Date of Birth: june 24th, 1988.

Hometown: bibury, gloucestershire, england. 

Current Location: new york city, new york.

Ethnicity: caucasian.

Nationality: english.

Gender: cis-female.

Pronouns: she/her.

Orientation: bisexual / biromantic

Religion: christian.

Political Affiliation: left-wing.

Occupation:. home health caregiver.

Living Arrangements: a surprisingly nice apartment. 

Language(s) Spoken: english, learning spanish.

Accent: british accent.

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: emilia clarke

Hair Colour: brown

Eye Colour: green

Height: 5′2″

Build: slim with curves.

Tattoos: a small bird as a memorial to her ex-lover on her right wrist. 

Piercings: both ears.

Clothing Style: unique, eccentric, lots of patterns.

Usual Expression: smiling.

Health

Physical Ailments: none.

Neurological Conditions: depression,anxiety, is currently grieving. 

Allergies: mild pollen allergy.

Sleeping Habits: has had a difficult time sleeping - she either cannot sleep or sleeps too much.

Eating Habits: she eats throughout the day, snacker.

Exercise Habits: she’s not particularly athletic. 

Emotional Stability: 4. Right now, she isn’t the most stable that she’s ever been. Grief still has its grip on her.

Sociability: she’s very friendly and sweet, but needs time alone to recharge.

Body Temperature: warm natured.

Addictions: none.

Drug Use: occasional smoker.

Alcohol Use: drinks more now than she used to.

Personality

Label: the selfless. 

Positive Traits: kind, giving, nurturing, compassionate, charming.

Negative Traits: gullible, emotional, despondent, unmotivated, stagnant.

Goals/Desires: to figure out a way to live her life to the fullest, as she promised her ex-lover.

Fears: not finding purpose, not living well, not leading a fulfilling life. 

Hobbies: fashion, reading, drawing, exploring.

Habits: twisting her hair around her fingers.

Family

Father: johnathan maddox, 62. museum curator. 

Mother: eloise maddox, 62. restaurant manager.

Sibling(s): karina maddox, 28. administrative assistant, business student.

Children: none.

Nephew: joshua maddox, 4. 

Pet(s): none.

Family’s Financial Status: middle class.

Extra

Zodiac Sign: cancer.

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff.

[inhumansforever]

Inhuman of The day

July 2nd - Naja  

A latent Inhuman whose transformation was caused by way of exposure to the Terrigen Cloud.  Terrigenesis greatly altered Naja’s physical appearance, changing her into a reptilian form, with green scaled skin, clawed hands and feet, and a web-like membrane connecting from her wrists to her lower trunk that allows for glide-based flight.    Along with these physical changes, Naja also gained greatly enhanced dexterity, strength and durability, the aforementioned flight, as well as the capacity to alter the color of her scales so to blend in with her surroundings in a camouflage-style process.  

Not much has been revealed about Naja’s life and background before to her transformation.   While many of her fellow new Inhumans have been very candid about who they are and their lives prior to transformation, Naja has remained elusive on the subject.  What has been evident, however, is she appears quite content with the change and happy to have the opportunity to leave her old life behind.  Naja’s periodic use of Spanish-language phrases suggests she may have heralded from The Dominican Republic.  Hopefully, we will get the opportunity to learn more about Naja’s origins at some point int he future.   

Shortly after her transformation, Naja sought out Dante and Flint while they were visiting Manhattan.  The three tried to enter a nightclub, but the barkeep made disparaging remarks regarding Naja’s physical appearances.   Feeling a sense of Inhuman solidarity and distaste over the bartender’s intolerance, Dante told the guy off and the three of them left together.  

Meanwhile, the former Inhuman despot known as ‘The Unspoken’ had seized control of New Attilan and refused entry to all Inhumans who did not bow to his rule.  Dante’s pregnant sister was trapped within the city and he was greatly concerned over her wellbeing.  Naja, Dante and Flint chose to invade the citadel in an effort to defeat the Unspoken and save Dante’s sister.  

Using her gliding abilities, Naja flew Dante and Flint over the Hudson Bay to a tower atop New Attilan.  Once inside the city, Naja came to realize that the hue of her scales seemed to change color in accordance to her mood and sense of distress.  She discovered that she could make herself ostensibly invisible and she used this newfound power to take out several of The Unspoken’s guards.   With the assistance of Medusa and the Inhuman doctor, Vanatos, Naja and the others were ultimately able to defeat The Unspoken and return Medusa to the throne.  In thanks, Naja was offered a home on New Attilan and she began training with Gorgon to better utilize her powers.  

Naja had numerous adventures alongside the Inhumans.  She helped to deflect an invasion by the forces of the Ennilux Corporation, defended New York City from the floating city of Aerie, and assisted in quelling a riot in Jersey City caused by Lineage’s tinkering.  

Following the Secret Wars Event, Naja joined Frank McGee’s mission to search out and recover many of the Inhuman children whose locations has become scattered about the globe as a result of the mass evacuation of Attilan during the city’s fall.  Naja then went on to join Crystal’s ambassadorial team aboard the RIV.  One of the team’s missions brought the RIV to the nation of Sin-Cong.  Leading a stealth incursion squad, Naja discovered that Sin-Cong’s tyrannical leader, The Commissar, had culled all citizens who had been transformed by the Terrigen Cloud, massacring hundreds of people.  Naja and her team were forced to intervene and The Commissar was ultimately deposed.  

Naja has continued honing her skills under Gorgon’s tutelage while living aboard the RIV.  A quick learner, Naja has been Gorgon’s prize pupil and she has assisted him in training other Inhumans skill learning to use their powers.   Naja was captured by Magneto at the beginning of the Inhuman/X-Men war, when the master of magnetism destroyed the RIV and apprehended all the Inhumans residing on the craft.  She was placed in Limbo with the other Inhuman combatants by The X-Men and ultimately escaped with the others as the war escalated to its conclusion.  Following the war, Naja took up residence at New Attilan, working alongside Nur as an officer of the security force keeping the city safe.  

Last seen, Naja was apprehended by Hydra agents during the early phase of the Secret Empire story-arc.  Her current fate remains unrevealed.  Baja first appeared in Inhuman #5.  

[ask-the-swapfell-crew]

the entire script of fear and loathing in las vegas but Raoul duke was replaced with SF!papyrus

BLACK SCREEN

A desert wind moans sadly.  From somewhere within the wind comes the tinkly, syrupy-sweet sounds of the Lennon Sisters singing "My Favorite Things." A series of sepia images of anti-war protests from the mid-sixties appear one after another on the screen.

In the violently scrawled style of Ralph Steadman, the title FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS splashes onto the screen.  A beat, and then it runs down and off revealing:

TITLE: "He who makes a beast of himself       Gets rid of the pain       Of being a man."       Dr. Johnson

The VOICE OF Papyrus E. Gaster-- a.k.a. SF!Papyrus:

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            We were somewhere around Barstow on            the edge of the desert when the            drugs began to take hold.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

A red Chevy convertible -- THE RED SHARK -- wipes the black screen.

EXT. ON THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

THE RED SHARK races down the desert highway at a hundred miles an hour.  THE STONES' "Sympathy For the Devil" blares.

AT THE WHEEL

STRANGELY STILL AND TENSE, Papyrus DRIVES -- SKELETAL, BEER IN HAND -- STARES STRAIGHT AHEAD.

BESIDE HIM, FACE TURNED TO THE SUN, EYES CLOSED BEHIND WRAPAROUND SPANISH SUNGLASSES, IS HIS SWARTHY AND UNNERVINGLY UNPREDICTABLE ATTORNEY, DR. GONZO.

The music pounds SF!papyrus stares straight ahead.  GONZO froths up a can of beer - uses it as shaving foam.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I remember saying something like:            "I feel a bit lightheaded.  Maybe            you should drive..."

GONZO starts shaving.

                                                           2.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Suddenly there was a terrible roar            all around us and the sky was full            of what looked like huge bats, all            swooping and screeching and diving            around the car...

Close on SF!papyrus -- shadows flutter across his face.  The reflections of bats swirl within his eyes.  We push in close to one eye ball -- SCREECHING SWIRLING BAT-LIKE SHAPES!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            ... and a voice was screaming: Holy            Jesus!  What are these goddamn            animals?

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF CAR -

SF!papyrus, eyes rigid, flails at the air.  No bats anywhere. GONZO casually looks over...

                        GONZO            What are you yelling about?

DUCK SCREECHES to the side of the road.  The sudden wrench makes GONZO nick his face with his razor.

                        SF!papyrus            Never mind.  It's your turn to drive.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            No point mentioning these bats.  I            thought.  The poor bastard will see            them soon enough.

SF!papyrus hops out of the car, keeping an eye out for bats, frantically opens the trunk to reveal what looks like A MOBILE POLICE NARCOTICS LAB.  SF!papyrus desperately rifles through the impressive stash.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            We had two bags of grass, seventy-            five pellets of mescaline, five            sheets of high powered blotter            acid, a salt shaker half full of            cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-            colored uppers, downers, screamers,            laughers... Also a quart of tequila,            a quart of rum, a case of beer, a            pint of raw ether and two dozen            amyls.

                                                           3.

SF!papyrus, eyes darting madly as he hears what sounds like the SHRIEKS OF BATS returning, grabs an assortment along with another six-pack of beer - slams the trunk shut and dives back into the car.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Not that we needed all that for the            trip, but once you get locked into            a serious drug collection, the            tendency is to push it as far as            you can.

THE RED SHARK RACES INTO THE DISTANCE... on the ground, weakly flapping is a SEMI-SQUASHED, SLOWLY DYING ANIMAL... A BAT?

EXT. FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

IN THE RED SHARK

GONZO grips the wheel - stares maniacally down the road - a lousy driver.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The only thing that really worried            me was the ether.  There is nothing            in the world more helpless and            irresponsible and depraved than a            man in the depths of an ether binge.            And I knew we'd get into that            rotten stuff pretty soon.

The radio news wars with "SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL" on a tape recorder.

                        RADIO NEWS            An overdose of heroin was listed as            the official cause of death for            pretty 19 year old Diane Hanby            whose body was found stuffed in a            refrigerator last week...

GONZO changes the station - "ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE, SWEET JESUS, ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE" vies with "SYMPATHY"... He sings along - washes a couple of pills back with a new beer. The RED SHARK fishtails.

                        GONZO            "One toke over the line, sweet            Jesus."

                                                           4.

                        SF!papyrus                   (muttering to himself)            One toke.  You poor fool.  Wait            till you see those goddamn bats.

UP AHEAD - AT THE SIDE OF THE DESERTED ROAD

A LONE HITCHHIKER spots them, jumps up and sticks out a thumb.  The RED SHARK roars past.  Then, fifty yards down the road...

                        GONZO            Let's give that boy a lift.

GONZO wrenches the wheel - THE RED SHARK swerves to the side of the road.

                        SF!papyrus            We can't stop here - this is bat            country!

GONZO JAMS THE CAR INTO REVERSE AND ROCKETS BACKWARDS.  The HITCHHIKER races to the car.  A poor OKIE KID with a big grin.

                        HITCHHIKER            Hot damn!  I never rode in a            convertible before!

Then the big grin freezes on the OKIE KID's face at the sight of: SF!papyrus and GONZO looking out at him with HYPER- NORMAL, shit-eating SMILES.

                        SF!papyrus            Is that right?  Well, I guess            you're about ready, eh?

The HITCHHIKER hesitates.

                        GONZO            We're your friends.  We're not like            the others.

                        SF!papyrus                   (hissing sharply)            No more of that talk or I'll put            the leeches on you.

SF!papyrus turns back to the HITCHHIKER - smiles reassuringly.

EXT. EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

The HITCHHIKER sits nervously in the back seat as the RED SHARK screams down the road.

                                                           5.

GONZO sings along to the tape player.

The HITCHHIKER's eyes go to the door - considers jumping out and taking his chances.

SF!papyrus, sweating bullets, STARES AT THE HITCHHIKER in the rear view mirror.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            How long could we maintain, I            wondered.  How long before one of            us starts raving and jabbering at            this boy?  What will he think then?            This same lonely desert was the            last known home of the Manson family.

The HITCHHIKER's eyes notice a thin line of blood trickling down GONZO's neck.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Would he make that grim connection            when my attorney starts screaming            about bats and huge manta rays            coming down on the car?

SF!papyrus's mouth moves intermittently - sometimes in sync with the words, sometimes not.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            If so - well, we'll just have to            cut his head off and bury him            somewhere.  Because it goes without            saying that we can't turn him loose.            He'd report us at once to some kind            of outback Nazi law enforcement            agency, and they'll run us down            like dogs...

                        SF!papyrus                   (out loud to himself)            Jesus!  Did I say that?

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Or just think it?  Was I talking?            Did they hear me?

                        GONZO                   (reassuringly to HITCHHIKER)            It's okay.  He's admiring the shape            of your skull.

SF!papyrus gives the HITCHHIKER a FINE BIG GRIN and the HITCHHIKER giggles nervously.

                                                           6.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Maybe I better have a chat with            this boy I thought.  Perhaps if I            explain things, he'll rest easy...

                        SF!papyrus                   (roaring over the                   road noise)            THERE'S ONE THING YOU SHOULD            PROBABLY UNDERSTAND --

The HITCHHIKER stares at him, not blinking.

                        SF!papyrus                   (yells)            CAN YOU HEAR ME?

The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- terrified.  SF!papyrus climbs into the back seat.

                        SF!papyrus            That's good.  Because I want you to            have all the background.  This is a            very ominous assignment -- with            overtones of extreme personal            danger.  I'm a Doctor of Journalism!            This is important, goddamnit!  This            is a true story!...                   (WHACKS the BACK OF                   THE DRIVER'S SEAT                   with his fist)

The CAR SWERVES SICKENINGLY, then straightens out.

                        GONZO                   (screams)            Keep your hands off my fucking neck!

The HITCHHIKER makes a sudden lunge for freedom.  SF!papyrus GRABS HIM BACK DOWN.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Our vibrations were getting nasty --            but why?  Was there no communication            in this car?  Had we deteriorated            to the level of dumb beasts?

The HITCHHIKER STRUGGLES IN PANIC.

                                                           7.

                        SF!papyrus                   (to HITCHHIKER)            I want you to understand that this            man at the wheel is my attorney!            He's not just some dingbat I found            on the Strip.  He's a foreigner.  I            think he's probably Samoan.  But it            doesn't matter, does it?  Are you            prejudiced?

                        HITCHHIKER            Hell, no!

                        SF!papyrus            I didn't think so.  Because in            spite of his race, this man is            extremely valuable to me.  Hell, I            forgot all about this beer.  You            want one?                   (HITCHHIKER shakes                   his head)            How about some ether?

                        HITCHHIKER            What?

                        SF!papyrus            Never mind.  Let's get right to the            heart of this thing.  Twenty-four            hours ago we were sitting in the            Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Wills            Hotel...

INT. THE BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL POGO LOUNGE 1971 - DAY

A uniformed DWARF, carries a shockingly PINK TELEPHONE through the glittering, tranquil POGO LOUNGE CROWD.  They are the ELOI.  HENDRIX AFROS and DROOPING MUSTACHES and BELL BOTTOMS and LOVE BEADS and BELLS.  ACTRESSES sip Singapore Slings and PROMOTERS sip ACTRESSES in this MONIED, SANITISED VERSION OF THE GREAT REVOLUTION YEARS.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            ... in the patio section, of            course, drinking Singapore Slings            with mescal on the side, hiding            from the brutish realities of this            foul year of Our Lord, 1971.

The DWARF reaches SF!papyrus -- T-shirt, levis, sneakers and shades.  GONZO -- white rayon bellbottoms and a khaki tank top undershirt.  They are in the middle of a serious conversation.

                                                           8.

                        SF!papyrus            I'm telling you, the Salazar story            is getting too complicated.  The            weasels have started closing in.

The DWARF sneers.

                        DWARF            Perhaps this is the call you've            been waiting for all this time,            sir...

SF!papyrus lifts the receiver -- listens...

                        SF!papyrus            Uh-huh... Uh-huh... Uh-huh...

SF!papyrus hangs up the PHONE with the DEAD-PAN EXPRESSION OF A MOVIE SPY.

                        DWARF            That was headquarters.  They want            me to go to Las Vegas at once and            make contact with a Portuguese            photographer named Lacerda.  He'll            have the details.  All I have to do            is check into my sound proof suite            and he'll seek me out.

GONZO, says nothing for a moment, then POUNDS the table!

                        GONZO            God hell!  I think I see the            pattern!  This one sounds like real            trouble!  You're going to need            plenty of legal advice before this            thing is over.  As your attorney I            must advise you that you'll need a            very fast car with no top and after            that, the cocaine.  And then the            tape recorder, for special music,            and some Acapulco shirts...                   (GONZO tucks his                   khaki undershirt into                   his white                   bellbottoms -- he                   means business!)            This blows my weekend, because            naturally I'll have to go with            you -- and we'll have to arm            ourselves.

                                                           9.

                        SF!papyrus            Why not?  If a thing's worth doing,            it's worth doing right.

SF!papyrus and GONZO are up and off.  The DWARF chases after them with the (very large) check in his hand.

They sweep out through the Lounge door, unaware of it swinging back into the face of the pursuing DWARF.

                        SF!papyrus            I tell you, my man.  This is the            American Dream in action!  We'd be            fools not to ride this strange            torpedo all the way to the end.

                        GONZO            Indeed.  We must do it.  What kind            of story is this?

EXT. BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAY

SF!papyrus and GONZO emerge.

                        SF!papyrus            The Mint 400!  The richest off-road            race for motorcycles and dune-            buggies in the history of organized            sport!                   (handing parking                   ticket to Valet)            -- a fantastic spectacle in honor            of some fatback grossero who owns            the luxurious Mint Hotel in the            heart of downtown Vegas... at least            that's what the press release says.

Their car arrives -- rusted out, smashed door panels.  They jump in.

                        SF!papyrus            We're going to have to drum it up            on our own.  Pure Gonzo Journalism.

And they're off in a cloud of black exhaust as the nose- bleeding DWARF stumbles out with the unpaid bill in his hand.

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DAY

The PINTO races through shot.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Getting hold of the drugs and            shirts had been no problem...

                                                          10.

EXT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

The PINTO skids to a halt outside Polynesian bar, the back window full of Hawaiian shirts.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            ... but the car and tape recorder            were not easy things to round up at            6:30 on a Friday afternoon in            Hollywood.

INT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

TORN YELLOW PAGES with dealer's ads ticked off lie in a pile as GONZO yells into a PAYPHONE.  SF!papyrus carries over four Singapore Slings.

                        GONZO            O.K., O.K., yes.  Hang onto it.            We'll be there in thirty minutes.                   (to SF!papyrus -- hand over                   the PHONE)            I finally located a car with            adequate horsepower and the proper            coloring.                   (into PHONE)            What?!  OF COURSE the gentleman has            a major credit card!  Do you            realize who the fuck you're talking            to?

                        SF!papyrus            Don't take any guff from these            swine.                   (GONZO slams the                   phone down)            Now we need a sound store with the            finest equipment.  Nothing dinky.            One of those new Belgian Heliowatts            with a voice-activated shotgun            mike, for picking up conversations            in oncoming cars.

                        GONZO            We won't make the nut unless we            have unlimited credit.

                        SF!papyrus            We will.  You Samoans are all the            same.  You have no faith in the            essential decency of the white            man's culture.

                                                          11.

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DUSK

The PINTO races down street.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The store was closed, but the            salesman said he would wait, if we            hurried...

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - TRAFFIC JAM - DUSK

They're stuck in a traffic jam -- clouds of exhaust.  SF!papyrus BANGS ON THE HORN IN FURY.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            But we were delayed en route when a            Stingray in front of us killed a            pedestrain.

Directly in front of them: BLOODY CARNAGE -- a covered corpse is loaded into an ambulance by PARAMEDICS.

EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            We had trouble, again, at the car            rental agency.

Behind the wheel of the RED SHARK: SF!papyrus grins with satisfaction -- checking it out.  A nervous AGENT holds out a clipboard.  SF!papyrus signs without looking at the rental papers.

                        AGENT            Say... uh... you fellas are going            to be careful with this car, aren't            you?

                        SF!papyrus            Of course.

SF!papyrus throws the car into reverse -- roars backwards past the gas pumps to where GONZO is unloading their rusted out car.

                        AGENT            Well, good god!  You just backed            over that two foot concrete abutment            and you didn't even slow down!            Forty-five in reverse!  And you            barely missed the pump!

                        SF!papyrus            No harm done.  I always test the            transmission that way.  The rear            end.  For stress factors.

                                                          12.

GONZO transfers boxes of new sound equipment and a large box of rum and ice into the RED SHARK.

                        AGENT            Say.  Are you fellows drinking?

                        SF!papyrus            Not me.  We're responsible people.

He JAMS the car into LOW GEAR and lurches into traffic.  The AGENT runs into the street and helplessly watches them go.

                        GONZO            There's another worrier.  He's            probably all cranked up on speed.

EXT. RUNDOWN BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT

STRANGE AND MAGICAL.  In the moonlight: the silhouetted figures of SF!papyrus and GONZO as they pack the RED SHARK.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            We spent the rest of that night            rounding up materials and packing            the car.  Then we ate some mescaline            and went swimming.

The surf crashes in the distance...

EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - NIGHT

SF!papyrus cries out as he dives into the ocean.  He lets himself float up through the silvery bubbles...

SF!papyrus AND GONZO FLOAT BEATIFICALLY IN THE GLOWING, SHIMMERING MOONLIT SURF.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Our trip was different.  It was to            be a classic affirmation of            everything right and true in the            national character; a gross,            physical salute to the fantastic            possibilities of life in this            country.  But only for those with            true grit...

EXT. AND EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

SF!papyrus's intense face.

                        SF!papyrus            ...and we're chock full of that!

                                                          13.

                        GONZO            Damn right!

                        SF!papyrus            My attorney understands this            concept, despite his racial handicap.            But do you?!

The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- petrified.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            He said he understood, but I could            see in his eyes that he didn't.  He            was lying to me.

                        GONZO            My heart!

GONZO clutches his heart.  The car veers off the road and screeches to a halt.  He slumps over the wheel.

                        GONZO (CONT'D)            Where's the medicine?

                        SF!papyrus            The medicine?  Yes, it's right here.

SF!papyrus spills out 4 AMYL CAPSULES from a tin.

                        SF!papyrus            Don't worry, this man has a bad            heart... Angina Pectoris.  But we            have a cure for it.

SF!papyrus and GONZO break 2 AMYLS apiece -- INHALE DEEPLY.  GONZO falls back on the seat, staring straight up at the sun.  The HITCHHIKER looks petrified.

                        GONZO                   (suddenly flailing                   his naked arms at the sky)            Turn up the fucking music!  My            heart feels like an alligator!            Volume!  Clarity!  Bass!  We must            have bass!  What's wrong with us?            Are you goddamn old ladies?

                        SF!papyrus                   (turns up music to                   full volume)            You scurvy shyster bastard!  Watch            your language!  You're talking to a            Doctor of Journalism!

                                                          14.

                        GONZO                   (laughing uncontrollably)            What the fuck are we doing out here?            Somebody call the police!  We need            help!

                        SF!papyrus                   (to HITCHHIKER)            Pay no attention to this swine.  He            can't handle the medicine.                   (he begins laughing)

                        GONZO                   (to the HITCHHIKER)            The truth is we're going to Vegas            to croak a scag baron named Savage            Henry.  I've known him for years            but he ripped us off -- and you            know what that means, right?

GONZO pulls out a .357 Magnum -- waves it around.

                        GONZO (CONT'D)            Savage Henry has cashed his check!            We're going to rip his lungs out!

                        SF!papyrus            And eat them!  That bastard won't            get away with this!  What's going            on in this country when a scum            sucker like that can get away with            sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?

GONZO cracks ANOTHER AMYL.

The HITCHHIKER SCRAMBLES OUT OF THE CAR, DOWN THE TRUNK LID, AND FLEES.

                        HITCHHIKER            Thanks for the ride.  Thanks a lot.            I like you guys.  Don't worry about            me.

                        SF!papyrus                   (yells)            Wait a minute!  Come back and have            a beer!

The HITCHHIKER RUNS from car.

                                                          15.

                        GONZO            Good riddance.  That boy made me            nervous.  Did you see his eyes?                   (laughing)            Jesus, this is good medicine.

SF!papyrus glances back at the running HITCHHIKER.

                        SF!papyrus                   (suddenly clambering                   into the front seat)            Move over!!  We have to get out of            California before that kid finds a            cop!

SF!papyrus GUNS THE RED SHARK -- TAKES OFF DOWN THE ROAD...

EXT. UNBELIEVABLY FAR DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

THE RED SHARK races -- SF!papyrus at the wheel -- straight ahead driving.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            It was absolutely imperative that            we get to the Mint Hotel before the            deadline for press registration.            Otherwise, we might have to pay for            our suite.

GONZO wrestles with a shaker of COCAINE.  The top comes off and the powder swirls away on the wind.

                        GONZO            Oh, Jesus!  Did you see what god            just did to us?

                        SF!papyrus            God didn't do that!  You did it!            You're a fucking narcotics agent,            that was our cocaine, you pig!

                        GONZO                   (waving his .357                   Magnum at SF!papyrus)            You better be careful.  Plenty of            vultures out here.  They'll pick            your bones clean before morning.

                        SF!papyrus            You whore!

GONZO tears up a BLOTTER OF ACID.

                                                          16.

                        GONZO            Here -- chew this.  It's your half            of the acid.

SF!papyrus takes his half -- chews it.

                        SF!papyrus            How long do I have?

                        GONZO            Maybe thirty more minutes.  As your            attorney, I advise you to drive at            top speed.  It'll be a goddamn            miracle if we can get there before            you turn into a wild animal.  Are            you ready for that?  Checking into            a Vegas hotel under a phony name            with intent to commit capital fraud            and a head full of acid.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Thirty minutes.  It was going to be            very close.

The RED SHARK screams along the highway past a billboard: "DON'T GAMBLE WITH MARIJUANA! \ IN NEVADA: POSSESSION - 20 YEARS; SALE - LIFE!!"

EXT. LAS VEGAS MINT HOTEL - DUSK

The RED SHARK pulls up outside the MINT.  A great banner spanning the street announces the MINT 400.

SF!papyrus can feel the drug surging up inside him.  Clutching a buckled beer can, sweat pouring, he stares fixedly at the TICKET the ATTENDANT gives him.

                        SF!papyrus            I need this, right?

                        ATTENDANT            I'll remember your face.

SF!papyrus stares -- losing it...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There is no way of explaining the            terror I felt.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

SF!papyrus waits in line at the front desk -- RIGID WITH PENT UP ENERGY.  GONZO's ahead of him -- muscling in -- trying to queue jump and failing.

                                                          17.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I was pouring sweat.  My blood is            too thick for Nevada.  I've never            been able to properly explain            myself in this climate.

A COUPLE move off and SF!papyrus jerks forward -- stops -- eyes fixed on the stony FEMALE RESERVATIONS CLERK.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            Be quiet, be calm... name, rank,            and press affiliation, nothing            else...

SF!papyrus moves ANOTHER RIGID STEP CLOSER to the desk -- the tension almost snapping him in two.  GONZO's FLAPPING AROUND -- absolutely no success.

Something catches SF!papyrus's eye... He REMAINS ROOTED -- his eyes turning to the VEGETAL PAISLEY PATTERNS ON THE CARPET WHICH ARE SHIFTING -- UNDULATING.  THE CARPET PATTERNS ARE INEXORABLY CREEPING UP THE WALLS...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            ...ignore this terrible drug,            pretend it's not happening...

The LAST PEOPLE leave -- with A FINAL, STIFF MOVE, SF!papyrus comes face to face with the RESERVATIONS CLERK... AND EXPLODES!

                        SF!papyrus            HI THERE.  MY NAME... AH, Papyrus            SF!papyrus... ON... ON THAT LIST, THAT'S            FOR SURE.  FREE LUNCH, FINAL            WISDOM, TOTAL COVERAGE... WHY NOT?            I HAVE MY ATTORNEY WITH ME, AND I            REALIZE OF COURSE...

As SF!papyrus stares at her, BABBLING, her FACE BEGINS TO MORPH. He tries to stop it happening by TALKING FASTER.

                        SF!papyrus            ... THAT HIS NAME IS NOT ON THE            LIST, BUT WE MUST HAVE THAT SUITE.            YES.  JUST CHECK THE LIST AND            YOU'LL SEE.  DON'T WORRY.  WHAT'S            THE SCORE HERE?  WHAT'S NEXT?

SF!papyrus sags -- grips the desk -- WHITE KNUCKLES.

                                                          18.

                        RESERVATIONS CLERK                   (hands him an envelope)            Your suite's not ready yet.  But            there's somebody looking for you.

Her face is CHANGING -- SWELLING -- PULSING...

                        SF!papyrus                   (shouts)            NO!  WHY?  WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING            YET!

The FACE OF THE RESERVATIONS CLERK TURNS GREEN & GROWS FANGS. DEADLY POISON!  SF!papyrus LUNGES BACK at GONZO, who GRIPS his arm intensely -- REACHES OUT to take the ENVELOPE.

                        GONZO            I can handle this.  This man has a            bad heart, but I have plenty of            medicine.  My name is Dr. Gonzo.            Prepare our suite at once.  We'll            be in the bar.

GONZO manoeuvres SF!papyrus away from the desk.  SF!papyrus looks back -- the RESERVATIONS CLERKS is now a MORAY EEL -- green jowls and fangs.

INT. NAUTICAL BAR - DAY

The bar -- OILY PEOPLE -- quiet music -- nautical theme. SF!papyrus and GONZO at the bar, a marlin spike hanging on the wall behind them.  SF!papyrus has turned to stone...

                        GONZO                   (to the bartender)            Two Cuba Libres with beer and            mescal on the side.                   (opens the envelope)            Who's Lacerda, he's waiting for us            in a room on the twelfth floor?

                        SF!papyrus            Lacerda?

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I couldn't remember.  The name rang            a bell, but I couldn't concentrate.            Terrible things were happening all            around us...

SF!papyrus is staring -- RAPT -- TERRIFIED.  BLOOD FLOWS FREELY onto the floor.  SF!papyrus keeps his voice low.

                                                          19.

                        SF!papyrus            Order some golf shoes.  Otherwise,            we'll never get out of this place            alive.  It's impossible to walk in            this muck -- no footing at all...

SF!papyrus looks up -- GONZO has disappeared.

SF!papyrus looks around him -- the entire room has TRANSFORMED into a ROOM FILLED WITH REPTILES IN CLOTHES, DRINKING AND GNAWING AT ONE ANOTHER.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I was right in the middle of a            fucking reptile zoo.  And somebody            was giving booze to these goddamn            things!  It won't be long before            they tear us to shreds!

GONZO IS SUDDENLY BACK -- AT SF!papyrus'S SHOULDER.

                        GONZO            If you think we're in trouble now            wait until you see what's happening            in the elevators.

GONZO removes his sunshades and we see he's been crying... as he speaks he seems to be floating.  SF!papyrus struggles to keep him in his line of vision.

                        GONZO            I just went upstairs to see this            man Lacerda.  I told him I knew            what he was up to...                   (GONZO rallies --                   turns fierce)            He says he's a photographer!  But            when I mentioned Savage Henry he            freaked!  He knows we're onto him!

                        SF!papyrus            But what about our room?  And the            golf shoes?

A GROUP OF REPTILES AT A TABLE ACROSS THE ROOM stares at them, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THEIR FANGS.

                        SF!papyrus (CONT'D)                   (grabbing GONZO                   trying to hold him still)            Holy shit!  Look at that bunch over            there!  They've spotted us!

                                                          20.

Cut to wider shot -- SF!papyrus is holding on to a man standing next to him at the bar.  The room has returned to normality. GONZO is sitting in his original position.

                        GONZO                   (downs his drink --                   gets up)            That's the press table.  Where you            have to sign in for our credentials.            Shit, let's get it over with.  You            handle that, and I'll check on the            room.

                        SF!papyrus            No, no.  Don't leave me!

Black screen.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DUSK

A TELEVISION shows the NIGHTLY NEWS.  A BUDDHIST MONK, protesting the war, sets himself on fire.  A very nervous BELL BOY is laying out GONZO's order.  A marlin spike is on the floor next to SF!papyrus.

                        BELL BOY            Four club sandwiches, four shrimp            cocktails.

                        SF!papyrus            There's a big... machine in the            sky... some kind of electric snake...

SF!papyrus is curled by the window -- MESMERIZED by an unseen neon sign outside the window.  His eyes fill with a million colored lights.

                        BELL BOY            ... a quart of rum...

                        SF!papyrus            ... coming straight at us.

                        GONZO            Shoot it.

                        SF!papyrus            Not yet.  I want to study its habits.

                        BELL BOY            ... and nine fresh grapefruit.

                                                          21.

                        GONZO            Vitamin C.  We'll need all we can            get.

GONZO sees the BELL BOY out the door -- turns and lays into SF!papyrus.

                        GONZO            Look, you've got to stop this talk            about snakes and leeches and            lizards and that stuff.  It's            making me sick!

SF!papyrus stares -- hears the drone of B52 BOMBERS...

On TV: The LAOS INVASION -- A SERIES OF HORRIFYING DISASTERS -- EXPLOSIONS AND TWISTED WRECKAGE.

Newsreel footage of MAI LAI MASSACRE and the LIEUTENANT CALLEY court-martial.

                        SF!papyrus            What are you talking about?

                        GONZO            You bastard!  They'll never let us            back in that place.  I leave you            alone for three minutes and you            start waving that goddamn marlin            spike around -- yelling about            reptiles!  You scared the shit out            of those people!  They were ready            to call the cops.  Hell, the only            reason they gave us press passes            was to get you out of there...

A knock at the door.  SF!papyrus and GONZO break out in a sweat.

                        SF!papyrus            Oh my God!  Who's that?!

GONZO STICKS HIS GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND -- opens the door to LACERDA -- BOUNCING WITH PUPPY DOG ENTHUSIASM.  GONZO stares at a man he instantly hates -- watches him with deep suspicion.

                        LACERDA            SF!papyrus?  I'm Lacerda your photographer.            Got your press passes?  Good, good.            Too bad you missed the bikes            checking in.  My, what a sight!

SF!papyrus watches the B-52S DROP THEIR BOMB LOADS.

                                                          22.

Looking down to the thick, patterned carpet, SF!papyrus sees the BOMBS EXPLODE like vicious flowers.

SF!papyrus looks up: LACERDA is a war photographer -- bruised, filthy and blood spattered.  LACERDA approaches him -- talking a foreign language.

                        LACERDA            Husquavarnas.  Yamahas.  Kawaskis.            Maicos.  Pursang.  Swedish Fireballs.            Couple of Triumphs, here and there            a CZ.  All very fast.  What a race            it's gonna be.

SF!papyrus screws up his eyes -- WILLS NORMALITY BACK.  LACERDA is now just a keen photographer.L

                        LACERDA            Well, we start at dawn.  Get a good            night's sleep.  I know I will.

And with a cheerful wave, he's gone.  SF!papyrus is in shock.

                        SF!papyrus                   (weakly)            That's good...

                        GONZO            I think he's lying to us.  I could            see it in his eyes.

                        SF!papyrus                   (even weaker)            They'll probably have a big net for            us when we show up.

SF!papyrus's attention returns to the devastation on the TV...

                        GONZO            Turn that shit off!

GONZO kills the TV.

Black screen.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Never lose sight of the primary            responsibility.  Cover the story.            But what was the story?  Nobody had            bothered to say.

                                                          23.

EXT. DESERT - DAWN

Against A BIG ORANGE SUN, on a concrete slab, MEN FIRE SHOTGUNS into the dawn sky.  Clay pigeons shatter.  The Mint Gun Club.

Next to them, MOTORCYCLES REV -- preparing for the MINT 400 RACE: A hundred BIKERS, MECHANICS and assorted MOTORSPORT TYPES milling around in the pit area; taping headlights, topping off oil in the forks, last minute bolt tightening.

SF!papyrus wanders through.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The racers were ready at dawn.            Very tense.  But the race didn't            start until nine so we had three            long hours to kill.

A sign by a long trestle table: "KOFFEE & DONUTS." SF!papyrus walks past -- ignoring the SMILING LADY behind the stall.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            Those of us who had been up all            night were in no mood for coffee            and donuts.  We wanted strong drink.            We were, after all, the Absolute            Cream of the National Sporting            Press and we were gathered here, in            Las Vegas, for a very special            assignment.  And when it comes to            things like this you don't fool            around.

INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

A real pit of iniquity.  Slot Machines.  Crap tables.  Smoke. Drunken shouting.  The absolute cream of the NATIONAL SPORTING PRESS.

SF!papyrus is at the bar, engaged in drunken conversation with a LIFE REPORTER...showing him his notebook.

                        SF!papyrus            See..."Kill the body and the head            will die"... the Frazier/Ali fight...

                        MAGAZINE REPORTER            A proper end to the 60's... Ali            beaten by a human hamburger!

                        SF!papyrus            And both Kennedy's murdered by            mutants.

                                                          24.

A SHOUT goes up from outside.  The sound of engines revving.

                        REPORTER            That's it!  They're starting!

In a sudden rush the PRESS CROWD make for the door taking SF!papyrus with them.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

MOTORCYCLES REV -- tension builds...

A flag goes down.  The CROWD cheers.  The MOTORCYCLES ROAR AWAY.  A great cloud of dust goes up -- obscuring the RACERS as they disappear into the desert...

A moment...

                        REPORTER            Well, that's that.  They'll be back            in an hour or so.  Let's go back to            the bar.

The CROWD turns and streams back into the tent.

INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

SF!papyrus heads for the bar along with the REST.  It's packed. Drinks are ordered.

A shout from outside the tent goes up:

                        VOICE OFF            Group 2!

The CROWD rushes for the door.  SF!papyrus gets swept along.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

MOTORCYCLES REV.  A flag goes down.  The CROWD cheers.  The MOTORCYCLES ROAR AWAY.  Another great cloud of dust goes up...

The CROWD head back for the bar.

INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

The CROWD surge back to the bar.

                        VOICE OFF            Group 3!

This time SF!papyrus fights his way free of the CROWD.

                                                          25.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There was something like 190 more            bikes waiting to start.  They were            due to go off 10 at a time every 2            minutes.

SF!papyrus hits the bar.

                        SF!papyrus            Beer!

A middle-aged HOODLUM in a T-shirt booms up to the bar.

                        HOODLUM            God damn!  What day is this --            Saturday?

                        SF!papyrus            More like Sunday.

                        HOODLUM            Hah!  That's a bitch, ain't it?            Last night I was home in Long Beach            and somebody said they were runnin'            the Mint 400 today, so I says to my            old lady, "Man, I'm goin'." So she            gives me a lot of crap about it, so            I start slappin' her around, and            the next thing you know two guys I            never seen before are beating me            stupid.

                        VOICE OFF            Group 4!

Outside, another batch of motorcycles roar away -- kicking up more clouds of dust.

                        HOODLUM            Then they gave me ten bucks, put me            on a bus, and when I woke up here I            was in downtown Vegas, and for a            minute all I could think was, "O            Jesus, who's divorcing me this            time?" But then I remembered, by            God!  I was here for the Mint 400.            And, man, I tell you, it's wonderful            to be here.  Just wonderful to be            here with you people.

A silence.  A MAGAZINE REPORTER lunges across the bar -- grabs the BARTENDER.

                                                          26.

                        MAGAZINE REPORTER            Senzaman wassyneeds!

                        SF!papyrus                   (smacks the bar with                   his palm)            Hell yes!  Bring us ten!

                        VOICE OFF            Group 5!

                        MAGAZINE REPORTER                   (screams)            I'll back it!                   (slides off his stool                   to the floor)

Outside, motorcycles roar away.  The dust cloud billows into the tent -- getting denser.

                        MAGAZINE REPORTER (CONT'D)                   (on the floor)            This is a magic moment in sport!            It may never come again!  I once            did the Triple Crown, but it was            nothing like this.

A FROG-EYED WOMAN claws at the MAGAZINE REPORTER, tries to haul him up.

                        FROG-EYED WOMAN            Please stand up!  You're a            correspondent for a major national            magazine who's name we can't get            clearance for!  Please!  You'd be a            very handsome man if you'd just            stand up!

                        MAGAZINE REPORTER            Listen, madam.  I'm damn near            intolerably handsome down here            where I am.  You'd go crazy if I            stood up!

A feverishly eager LACERDA appears out of the dust cloud, 3 cameras slung round his neck.

                        LACERDA            Club soda, please.

                        FROG-EYED WOMAN                   (to MAGAZINE REPORTER)            Please!  I love Life!

                                                          27.

                        LACERDA                   (to SF!papyrus)            Man, it's great out there!

                        SF!papyrus            Lunatics.

LACERDA grins.

                        VOICE OFF            Group 6!

                        LACERDA            Meet you outside!

LACERDA downs his drink -- hurries out through the crowd and out into the cloud of dust.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

Nothing.  Except for a THICK CLOUD OF DUST.

Barely visible, a motorcycle comes speeding into the pits. The RIDER staggers off his bike.  The PIT CREW gas it up and sends it back with a FRESH RIDER.

SF!papyrus watches him disappear back into the dust cloud.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            By 10 they were spread out all over            the course.  It was no longer a            race, now it was an Endurance            Contest.  The idea of trying to            "cover this race" in any            conventional press sense was absurd.

A HORN HONKS.  A shiny BLACK BRONCO with DRIVER.  LACERDA hangs out of the window.

                        LACERDA            It's great, isn't it?!  Jump in!

SF!papyrus gets into the Bronco and they head into the DUST CLOUD.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

IN THE BRONCO.

SF!papyrus hangs on with his beer.  Nothing all around but the HUGE IMPENETRABLE CLOUD OF DUST.  LACERDA snaps madly away at nothing at all!

                                                          28.

                        LACERDA            I'll just keep trying different            combos of film and lenses till I            find one that works in this dust!

The SOUND OF MOTORCYCLES RACING...

We hear music and voices singing:

                        BATTLE HYMN            "...As we go marching on            When I reach my final campground,            in            that land beyond the sun,            And the Great Commander asks me..."            [What did he ask you, Rusty?]            "Did you fight or did you run?"

A moment later, the Bronco races out of the dust.  SF!papyrus coughs, chokes, drinks beer.

                        BATTLE HYMN                   (continuing)            [And what did you tell them,            Rusty?]            "We responded to their rifle fire            with everything we had..."

The sound of gun shots...

A DUNE BUGGY races toward them, loaded down with THREE RETIRED PETTY OFFICERS, DRUNK AS HELL.  The radio blares: "THE BATTLE HYMN OF LIEUTENANT CALLEY."

The dune buggy is COVERED WITH OMINOUS SYMBOLS: SCREAMING EAGLES CARRYING AMERICAN FLAGS IN THEIR CLAWS.  A slant-eyed Snake being chopped to bits by a buzz-saw made of stars and stripes.  A MACHINE GUN MOUNT on the passenger side.  They yell over the roaring engines.

                        DUNE BUGGY DRIVER            Where's the damn race?

                        SF!papyrus            Beats me.  We're just good patriotic            Americans like yourself.

SF!papyrus gives DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 A NICE BIG GRIN.  In response, the PASSENGER #2 narrows his eyes -- tightens his grip on an automatic weapon.

                        DUNE BUGGY DRIVER                   (suspiciously)            What outfit you fellas with?

                                                          29.

                        SF!papyrus            The sporting press.  We're            friendlies.  Hired geeks.

The DRIVER and DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 exchange looks.

                        SF!papyrus            If you want a good chase, you            should get after that skunk from            CBS News up ahead in the black jeep.            He's the man responsible for that            book, THE SELLING OF THE PENTAGON.

                        DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #1            HOT DAMN!

                        DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2            A black jeep, you say?

And they ROAR away.

                        SF!papyrus            Take me back to the pits.

                        LACERDA            No, no -- we have to go on.  We            need total coverage.

SF!papyrus gets out of the Bronco.

                        SF!papyrus            You're fired.

After a moment's hesitation, LACERDA and the BRONCO driver roar away leaving SF!papyrus alone in the cloud of dust.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            It was time.  I felt, for an            Agonizing Reappraisal of the whole            scene.  The race was definitely            under way.  I had witnessed the            start; I was sure of that much.            But what now?

EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

MUSIC PUMPS OUT.  CRUISING IN THE RED SHARK IN VEGAS.  THE SKY SWIRLS WITH MILLIONS OF NEON LIGHTS CHASING EACH OTHER IN BAROQUE PATTERNS ACROSS GIGANTIC HOTEL SIGNS.  PSYCHEDELIC LIGHT SHOWS TO LURE AND DERANGE THE INNOCENT.  CITY OF LOST SOULS.

                                                          30.

                        SF!papyrus            Turn up the radio!  Turn up the            tape machine!  Roll the windows            down.  Let's taste this cool desert            wind!  Aaah, yes!  This is what            it's all about!

SF!papyrus, beer in hand, drives -- a big smile for the world. GONZO scans The Vegas Visitor.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Total control now.  Tooling along            the main drag on a Saturday night            in Vegas, two good old boys in a            fire apple red convertible...            stoned, ripped, twisted... Good            people!

                        GONZO            How about "Nickel Nick's Slot            Arcade?" "Hot Slots," that sounds            heavy.  Twenty-nine cent hotdogs...

                        SF!papyrus            Look, what are we doing here?  Are            we here to entertain ourselves, or            to do the job?

                        GONZO            To do the job, of course.  Here we            go... a Crab Louie and quart of            muscatel for twenty dollars!

The Shark hits a bump.

                        GONZO            As your attorney I advise you to            drive over to the Tropicana and            pick up on Guy Lombardo.  He's in            the Blue Room with his Royal            Canadians.

They hit another bump.

                        SF!papyrus            Why?

                        GONZO            Why what?

CUT to wide shot.  They are DRIVING AROUND IN CIRCLES in a large casino parking lot, bumping over the dividers.

                                                          31.

                        SF!papyrus            Why should I pay out my hard-earned            dollars to watch a fucking corpse.            I don't know about you, but in my            line of business it's important to            be Hep.

EXT. DESERT ROOM HOTEL - NIGHT

TWO BIG SCREAMING FACES.

                        DOORMAN #1            What the hell are you doing?!

                        DOORMAN #2            You can't park here!

                        SF!papyrus            Why not?  Is this not a reasonable            place to park?

Reveal the RED SHARK parked on the sidewalk in front of the Desert Inn.  TWO DOORMEN loom over the car hood.  The MARQUEE says: TONIGHT.  DEBBIE REYNOLDS.

GONZO leaps from the car, waving a five-dollar bill at the DOORMAN.

                        GONZO            We want this car parked!  We drove            all the way from L.A. for this show.            We're friends of Debbie's.

A pause, then... the DOORMAN pockets the bill, hands them a parking stub.  SF!papyrus and GONZO hurry into the hotel.

INT. DESERT FROM HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

SF!papyrus and GONZO walk through the lobby.  Black, mirrored, sleek, classy.

                        SF!papyrus            Holy shit!  They almost had us            there!  That was quick thinking.

                        GONZO            What do you expect?  I'm your            attorney.  You owe me five bucks.            I want it now.

SF!papyrus shrugs and hands over the $5.

                                                          32.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            This was Bob Hope's turf.  Frank            Sinatra's.  Spiro Agnew's.  It            seemed inappropriate to be haggling            about nickel/dime bribes for the            parking lot attendant.

A WINE-COLORED TUXEDO stops them at the entrance to the ballroom.

                        WINE-COLORED TUXEDO            Sorry, full house.

                        GONZO            Goddamnit, we drove all the way            from L.A.

                        WINE-COLORED TUXEDO            I said there are no seats left...            at any price.

                        GONZO            Fuck seats!  We're old friends of            Debbie's.  I used to romp with her.

GONZO and the WINE-COLORED TUXEDO get into an ugly arm- waving negotiation.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            After a lot of bad noise, he let us            in for nothing provided we would            stand quietly at the back and not            smoke.

As SF!papyrus and GONZO disappear through the door we can hear the orchestra blasting out a HIGHLY BLANDIZED "SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND."

A beat.

The door flies open and BOUNCERS manhandle SF!papyrus and GONZO out.  Despite the rough treatment they're both SCREECHING WITH LAUGHTER.

                        GONZO            Jesus creeping shit!

                        SF!papyrus                   (tears streaming)            Did the mescaline just kick in?  Or            was that Debbie Reynolds in a            silver Afro wig?!

                                                          33.

                        GONZO                   (in hysteria)            We wandered into a fucking time            capsule!

EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

SF!papyrus DRIVES FAST into the night.  They're both LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

                        SF!papyrus                   (in hysteria)            We wandered into a fucking time            capsule!

THEN... GONZO finds a TINY TEAR IN HIS JACKET...

                        GONZO            What's this?...

GONZO is instantly MOROSE.

                        GONZO            That scum...

GONZO twists round in the car -- SCREAMS back into the night.

                        GONZO            SCUM!  I know where you live!  I'll            find you and burn down your fucking            house!

EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS - NIGHT

A hundred foot high neon clown: BAZOOKO CIRCUS.

The RED SHARK pulls up beneath the sign.

                        SF!papyrus            This is the place.  They'll never            fuck with us here.

                        GONZO            Where's the ether?  This mescaline            isn't working.

EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

Into the GLARING, CHASING LIGHTS of the entrance canopy steps SF!papyrus in EC/U holding a KLEENEX SOAKED IN ETHER TO HIS NOSE.

                                                          34.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Ah, devil ether.  It makes you            behave like the village drunkard in            some early Irish novel... total            loss of all basic motor skills;            blurred vision, no balance, numb            tongue --                   (throws away kleenex)            The mind recoils in horror, unable            to communicate with the spinal            column.  Which is interesting,            because you can actually watch            yourself behaving in this terrible            way, but you can't control it.

SF!papyrus and GONZO approach the entrance with elaborate care- taking one step at a time -- trying to keep ahead of the drug.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            You approach the turnstiles and            know that when you get there, you            have to give the man two dollars or            he won't let you inside... but when            you get there, everything goes wrong.

THE ETHER KICKS IN:

SF!papyrus and GONZO BOUNCE off the walls, CRASH into OLD LADIES, GIGGLE HELPLESSLY as they try to pay -- HANDS FLAPPING CRAZILY, unable to get money out of their pockets.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Some angry Rotarian shoves you and            you think: What's happening here?            What's going on?  Then you hear            yourself mumbling.

                        SF!papyrus                   (mumbling)            Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of            mine.  Watch out!... Why money?  My            name is Brinks; I was born... Born?

                        GONZO            Get sheep over side... women and            children to armored car... orders            from Captain Zeep.

The ATTENDANTS indulgently escort them through the TURNSTILES.

                                                          35.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Ether is the perfect drug for Las            Vegas.  In this town they love a            drunk.  Fresh meat.  So they put us            through the turnstiles and turned            us loose inside.

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

Flames shoot up from below the casino.  Above, a HIGH WIRE ACT with FOUR MUZZLED WOLVERINES, SIX NYMPHET SISTERS FROM SAN DIEGO, TWO SILVER PAINTED POLACK BROTHERS, and THREE KOREAN KITTENS.

The WOLVERINE chases a NYMPHET through the air.  TWO POLACKS swing at it from opposite sides and they are instantly locked in a death battle.

All plummet to the nets suspended over the GAMBLING TABLES and SLOT MACHINES.  No one looks up.  The GAMBLERS REMAIN INTENT ON THE SPINNING ROULETTE WHEEL, THE TURN OF THE CARD, THE ROLL OF A DICE.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Bazooko Circus is what the whole            hep world would be doing Saturday            night if the Nazis had won the war.            This was the Sixth Reich.

Something causes SF!papyrus to look down.  A dwarf carrying drinks on a tray is tugging SF!papyrus's pants leg trying to get him to move out of the way.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            A drug person can learn to cope            with things like seeing their dead            grandmother crawling up their leg            with a knife in her teeth but,            nobody should be asked to handle            this trip.

GONZO and SF!papyrus go upstairs walking past funhouse booths. One of them is manned by an orangutan in costume.  A FAIRGROUND BARKER grabs SF!papyrus.

                        FAIRGROUND BARKER            Stand in front of this fantastic            machine, my friend.  For just 99            cents your likeness will appear 200            hundred feet tall on a screen above            downtown Las Vegas.

On a TV monitor a 200 FOOT HIGH DRUNKARD looms over the Las Vegas skyline screaming OBSCENITIES.

                                                          36.

                        FAIRGROUND BARKER            99 cents more for a voice message.            Say whatever you want, fella.            They'll hear you, don't worry about            that.  Remember, you'll be 200 feet            tall!

                        ANOTHER BARKER            Step right up!  Shoot the pasties            off the nipples of this ten-foot            bull-dyke and win a cotton candy            goat!

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT

SF!papyrus and GONZO sit on the revolving platform.  GONZO stares -- glassy eyed -- coming apart.

                        GONZO            I hate to say this, but this place            is getting to me.  I think I'm            getting The Fear.

                        SF!papyrus            Nonsense.  We came here to find the            American Dream, and now we're right            in the vortex you want to quit.            You must realize that we've found            the Main Nerve.

                        GONZO            That's what gives me The Fear.

                        SF!papyrus            Look over there.  Two women fucking            a Polar Bear.

                        GONZO            Please, don't tell me those things...            Not now.                   (signals the waitress                   for two Wild Turkeys)            This is my last drink.  How much            money can you lend me?

                        SF!papyrus            Not much.  Why?

                        GONZO            I have to go.

                        SF!papyrus            GO?

                                                          37.

                        GONZO            Yes.  Leave the country.  Tonight.

                        SF!papyrus            Calm down.  You'll be straight in a            few hours.

                        GONZO            No.  This is serious.  One more            hour in this town and I'll kill            somebody!

                        SF!papyrus            OK.  I'll lend you some money.            Let's go outside and see how much            we have left.

                        GONZO            Can we make it?

                        SF!papyrus            That depends on how many people we            fuck with between here and the door.

                        GONZO            I want to leave fast.

                        SF!papyrus            OK.  Lets pay this bill and get up            very slowly.  It's going to be a            long walk.                   (signals waitress who                   comes over)

                        GONZO                   (suddenly to waitress)            Do they pay you to screw that bear?

                        WAITRESS            What?

                        SF!papyrus            He's just kidding.                   (to GONZO)            Come on, Doc -- lets go downstairs            and gamble.

GONZO trembles with fear -- walks to the edge of the turntable.

                        GONZO            When does this thing stop?

                                                          38.

                        SF!papyrus            It won't stop.  It's not ever going            to stop.

SF!papyrus carefully steps off the turntable.

GONZO, eyes staring blindly ahead, squiting in fear and confusion, rooted to the spot, is carried away.

                        SF!papyrus            Don't move you'll come around.

SF!papyrus reaches out to grab GONZO, who jumps back -- keeps going around.

The BARTENDER narrows his eyes at them.

SF!papyrus steps onto the merry-go-round -- hurries round the bar -- approaching GONZO from the blind side and shoves GONZO from behind.  GONZO goes down with a hellish scream. SF!papyrus approaches him with his hands in the air.  Smiling.

                        SF!papyrus            You fell.  Let's go.

GONZO refuses to move and stands tense, fists clenched, looking for somebody to hit...an old woman perhaps?

                        SF!papyrus (CONT'D)            OK.  You stay here and go to jail.            I'm leaving.

SF!papyrus walks fast towards the stairs.  GONZO catches up with him.

                        GONZO            Did you see that?  Some sonofabitch            kicked me in the back.

                        SF!papyrus            Probably the bartender.  He wanted            to stomp you for what you said to            the waitress.

                        GONZO            Good God!  Let's get out of here!            Where's the elevator?

                        SF!papyrus                   (turning him in the                   opposite direction)            Don't go near that elevator.            That's just what they want us to            do... trap us in a steel box and            take us down to the basement.

                                                          39.

EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

SF!papyrus and GONZO stumble out of the entrance.

                        SF!papyrus            Don't run.  They'd like any excuse            to shoot us.

                        GONZO                   (in an extended fall)            You drive!  I think there's            something wrong with me.

INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR... SF!papyrus TAKING CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.

GONZO STRUGGLES with the key in the lock.

                        GONZO            Those bastards have changed the            lock on us.  They probably searched            the room.  Jesus, we're finished!

The door SUDDENLY SWINGS OPEN.  SF!papyrus AND GONZO fall inside.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

                        GONZO            Bolt everything!  Use all chains!

SF!papyrus locks the door.  The suite is crowded with ROOM SERVICE GOODIES.  SF!papyrus turns to see GONZO staring at two hotel room keys.  EVERYTHING STOPS.

                        GONZO            Where did this one come from?

SF!papyrus snatches a key.

                        SF!papyrus            That's Lacerda's room.

GONZO smiles a slow smile...

                        GONZO            Yeah... I thought we might need it...

                        SF!papyrus            What for?

GONZO snatches the key back.

                                                          40.

                        GONZO            Let's go up there and blast him out            of bed with the fire hose.

                        SF!papyrus            No, we should leave the poor            bastard alone.  I get the feeling            that he's avoiding us for some            reason.

                        GONZO            Don't kid yourself.  That Portuguese            son of a bitch is dangerous.  He's            watching us like a hawk.

                        SF!papyrus            He told me he was turning in early...

GONZO utters an anguished cry -- slaps the wall with both hands.

                        GONZO            That dirty bastard!  I knew it!            He's got hold of my woman!

                        SF!papyrus                   (laughing)            That little blonde groupie with the            film crew?  You think he sodomized            her?

                        GONZO            That's right, laugh about it!  You            goddamn honkies are all the same!

GONZO SLASHES A GRAPEFRUIT with a HUGE RAZOR SHARP HUNTING KNIFE.  SF!papyrus blanches.

                        SF!papyrus            Where'd you get that knife?

GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- MANIACAL.

                        GONZO            Room service sent it up.  I wanted            something to cut the limes.

GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- INTO EIGHTHS!

                        SF!papyrus            What limes?

GONZO SLICES -- SIXTEENTHS!

                                                          41.

                        GONZO            They didn't have any.  They don't            grow in the desert.

SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!

                        GONZO            That dirty toad bastard!  I knew I            should have taken him out when I            had the chance.  Now he has her.

SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!  GONZO SLASHES INSANELY!

SF!papyrus watches -- straight-faced.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I remember the girl.  We'd had a            problem with her in the elevator a            few hours earlier: my attention had            made a fool of himself.

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (FLASHBACK)

An elevator door opens to reveal the SMILING FACES OF LACERDA, THE BLONDE TV REPORTER AND HER CREW.

SF!papyrus and GONZO stagger in.

LACERDA drops his smile.  He's standing beside the BLONDE TV REPORTER.  A trembling GONZO moonily turns his eyes onto her.

                        BLONDE TV REPORTER                   (to Gonzo)            You must be a rider.  What class            are you in?

                        GONZO            Class?  What the fuck do you mean?

                        BLONDE TV REPORTER            What do you ride?  We're filming            the race for a TV series -- maybe            we can use you.

                        GONZO            Use me?

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Mother of God, I thought.  Here it            comes.

GONZO is TREMBLING BADLY.  There's a moment of uncomfortable silence.

                                                          42.

                        GONZO                   (suddenly shouting)            I ride the BIG ONES!  The really            BIG fuckers!

GONZO shows his teeth to LACERDA.  SF!papyrus laughs trying to defuse the scene.

                        SF!papyrus            The Vincent Black Shadow.  We're            with the Factory Team.

                        TV CAMERAMAN            Bullshit.

GONZO stills -- becomes dangerous -- zeros in on the TV CAMERAMAN -- groin to groin...

                        GONZO            Wait a minute, pardon me lady, but            I think there's some kind of            ignorant chicken-sucker in this car            who needs his face cut open.  You            cheap honky faggots!  Which one of            you wants to get cut?!

DEAD SILENCE.

Ding!  The elevator door opens, but nobody moves.  The door closes.

Next floor.  Ding!  The door opens again.  A middle-aged couple start to get in.  Change their minds.  The door closes.

INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

SF!papyrus and GONZO run down the corridor.  GONZO LAUGHS WILDLY.

                        GONZO            Spooked!  They were spooked!  Like            rats in a death cage!

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAY

SF!papyrus and GONZO CRASH into their hotel suite -- BOLT THE DOOR. GONZO stops laughing.

                        GONZO            Goddamn.  It's serious now.  That            girl understood.  She fell in love            with me.

END FLASHBACK.

                                                          43.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!  GONZO with the BIG HUNTING KNIFE -- sliced grapefruit segments everywhere.

                        GONZO            Let's go up there and castrate that            fucker!

GONZO pauses -- A MAD THOUGHT -- turns to SF!papyrus.

                        GONZO                   (squinting suspiciously)            Have you made a deal with him?  Did            you put him on to her?

                        SF!papyrus                   (backing slowly                   towards the door)            Look you better put that blade away            and get your head straight.  I have            to put the car in the lot.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            One of the things you learn, after            years of dealing with drug people,            is that you can turn your back on a            person, but never turn your back on            a drug.  Especially when it's            waving a razor-sharp hunting knife            in your eyes.

INT. CASINO/LOBBY MINT HOTEL

The MAGAZINE REPORTER is on the telephone.

                        MAGAZINE REPORTER            Las Vegas at dawn.  The racers are            still asleep, the dust is still on            the desert, fifty thousand dollars            in prize money, slumbers darkly in            the office safe at Del Webb's            fabulous Mint Hotel...

SF!papyrus walks past the REPORTER -- into THE CASINO, THE SAD, MEAGRE CROWDS AROUND THE CRAP TABLES.  No joy.  SF!papyrus watches.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Who are these people?  These faces!            Where do they come from?  They look            like caricatures of used car            dealers from Dallas.                         (MORE)

                                                          44.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O; CONT'D)            And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell            of a lot of them at four-thirty on            a Monday morning.  Still humping            the American dream, that vision of            the big winner somehow emerging            from the last minute predawn chaos            of a stale Vegas casino.

SF!papyrus stops at the Money Wheel, puts down a two dollar bill on a number, the wheel turns, he loses.

                        SF!papyrus            You bastards!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            No.  Calm down.  Learn to ENJOY            losing.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus walks back into the room.  We hear the LOUD STRAINS OF THREE DOG NIGHT'S "JOY TO THE WORLD."

He walks to the bathroom and opens the door.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE BATHROOM - NIGHT

Submerged in green water, GONZO WALLOWS in the steaming tub. Soap labels and grapefruit rinds float on the surface.  A large empty pack of Neutrogena soap lies on the floor.  The shower is on -- the tub overflowing.  THE TAPE RECORDER PLAYS, from where it's plugged into the razor socket over the sink.

SF!papyrus turns off the shower -- notices a HUGE HUNK OF CHEWED UP WHITE BLOTTER.

                        SF!papyrus            You ate ALL THIS ACID?

No answer.

                        SF!papyrus                   (turning down the volume)            You evil son of a bitch.  You            better hope there's some Thorazine            in that bag, because if there's            not, you're in bad trouble.

                        GONZO            Music!  Turn it up.  Put that tape            on.

                                                          45.

                        SF!papyrus            What tape?

                        GONZO            Jefferson Airplane. "White Rabbit."            I want a rising sound.

                        SF!papyrus            You're doomed.  I'm leaving here in            two hours and then they're going to            come up here and beat the mortal            shit out of you with big saps.            Right there in that tub.

                        GONZO            I dig my own graves.  Green water            and the White Rabbit.  Put it on.

                        SF!papyrus            OK.  But do me one last favor, will            you.  Can you give me two hours?            That's all I ask -- just two hours            to sleep before tomorrow.  I            suspect it's going to be a very            difficult day.

He switches on the tape. "WHITE RABBIT" begins to build.

                        GONZO                   (coolly)            Of course, I'm your attorney, I'll            give you all the time you need, at            my normal rates: $45 an hour -- but            you'll be wanting a cushion, so,            why don't you just lay one of those            $100 bills down there beside the            radio, and fuck off?

                        SF!papyrus            How about a check?

                        GONZO            Whatever's right.

SF!papyrus moves the radio as far from the tub as he can and leaves, closing the door behind him.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus goes across to the sofa and crashes -- exhausted. Suddenly a great ripping and crashing noise in the bathroom.

                        GONZO (V/O)            Help!  You bastard!  I need help!

                                                          46.

SF!papyrus JUMPS up -- crosses to the bathroom door, muttering.

                        SF!papyrus            Shit, he's killing himself!

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

SF!papyrus RUSHES IN.  GONZO flails -- trying to reach the radio with the shower curtain pole which he has ripped from its mounts.

                        GONZO                   (snarling)            I want that fucking radio!

SF!papyrus GRABS THE RADIO.

                        SF!papyrus            Don't touch it!  Get back in that            tub!

                        GONZO            Back the tape up.  I need it again!            Let it roll!  Just as high as the            fucker can go!  And when it comes            to that fantastic note where the            rabbit bites its own head off, I            want you to THROW THAT FUCKING            RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME!

SF!papyrus stares down at GONZO.

                        SF!papyrus            Not me.  It would blast you through            the wall -- stone dead in ten            seconds and they'd make me explain            it!

                        GONZO            BULLSHIT!  Don't make me use this.

HIS ARM LASHES OUT OF THE WATER, HOLDING THE KNIFE.

                        SF!papyrus            Jesus.

                        GONZO            Do it!  I want to get HIGHER!

SF!papyrus considers this.  He's had enough.

                                                          47.

                        SF!papyrus            Okay.  You're right.  This is            probably the only solution.                   (holds the PLUGGED IN                   TAPE/RADIO over the tub)            Let me make sure I have it all            lined up.  You want me to throw            this thing into the tub when "WHITE            RABBIT" peaks.  Is that it?

GONZO falls back into the water, smiling gratefully.

                        GONZO            Fuck yes.  I was beginning to think            I was going to have to go out and            get one of the goddamn maids to do            it.

                        SF!papyrus            Are you ready?

He switches "WHITE RABBIT" back on.  GONZO HOWLS AND MOANS AND THRASHES TO THE MUSIC, straining to get over the top.

Meanwhile, SF!papyrus picks up a grapefruit from the sink -- a good two-pounder, he gets a grip on it... and when "WHITE RABBIT" peaks... HE HURLS IT INTO THE TUB LIKE A CANNONBALL.

GONZO SCREAMS CRAZILY, THRASHING AND CHURNING -- CAUSING A TIDAL WAVE.

SF!papyrus JERKS THE RADIO CABLE OUT OF THE SOCKET -- SLAMS OUT OF THE BATHROOM.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus slumps onto the sofa.

SILENCE.

GONZO RIPS OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR, his eyes unfocused.  HE WAVES THE RAZOR SHARP BLADE out in front of him -- LUNGES at SF!papyrus.  SF!papyrus WHIPS OUT A CAN OF MACE.

                        SF!papyrus            MACE!  YOU WANT THIS?

GONZO stops -- hisses.

                        GONZO            You bastard!  You'd do that,            wouldn't you?

                                                          48.

                        SF!papyrus                   (laughs)            Why worry?  You'll like it.  Nothing            in the world like a Mace high.            Forty-five minutes on your knees            with the dry heaves...

                        GONZO            You cheap honky sonofabitch...

                        SF!papyrus            Why not?  Hell, just a minute ago,            you were asking me to kill you!            And now you want to kill me!  What            I should do, goddamnit, is call the            police!

                        GONZO            The cops?

                        SF!papyrus            There's no choice.  I wouldn't dare            go to sleep with you wandering            around with a head full of acid and            wanting to slice me up with that            goddamn knife!

                        GONZO                   (mumbles)            Who said anything about slicing you            up?  I just wanted to carve a            little Z on your forehead.  Nothing            serious.

GONZO shrugs and reaches for a cigarette on top of the TV set.

                        SF!papyrus                   (menaces him with the MACE)            Get back in that tub.  Eat some            reds and try to calm down.  Smoke            some grass, shoot some smack --            shit, do whatever you have to do,            but let me get some rest.

GONZO turns toward the bathroom -- suddenly sad.

                        GONZO            Hell, yes.  You really need some            sleep.  You have to work.  Goddamn.            What a bummer.  Try to rest.  Don't            let me keep you up.

                                                          49.

GONZO shuffles back into the bathroom.  SF!papyrus wedges a chair up against the bathroom doorknob and puts the mace can next to the clock.

SF!papyrus turns on the TV.  WHITE NOISE FILLS THE ROOM.  He collapses onto the sofa and lights up his lightbulb as pipe.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Ignore the nightmare in the bathroom.            Just another ugly refugee from the            Love Generation.

The WHITE NOISE snow storm on the TV is reflected in his face.  The camera pulls back revealing THE ENTIRE WALL BEHIND HIM TO BE SWIRLING WITH THE FIZZING SNOWSTORM PATTERN.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            My attorney had never been able to            accept the notion -- often espoused            by former drug abusers -- that you            can get a lot higher without drugs            than with them.  And neither have            I, for that matter.

The pattern on the wall changes to A 60'S VISCOUS OIL LIGHTSHOW PATTERN.  With SF!papyrus still sitting in the foreground, the projected image widens to reveal the interior of A HAIGHT ASHBURY DANCE HALL full of DANCING PROTO-HIPPIES.

INT. MATRIX CLUB - NIGHT

A slightly YOUNGER SF!papyrus moves through the throng.  All the action is in a DREAMLIKE SLOW-MOTION.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I recall one night in the Matrix.            There I was -- a victim of the Drug            Explosion.  A natural street freak,            just eating whatever came by.

A ROAD-PERSON with a big pack on his back is shouting.  The sound of his voice, like his movements, is in slow-motion.

                        ROAD-PERSON            Anybody want some L...S...D...?  I            got all the makin's right here.            All I need is a place to cook.

The camera pushes right into the ROAD-PERSON's mouth.

INT. MATRIX MEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Still in slow motion, the YOUNGER SF!papyrus is trying to eat a HUGE SPANSULE OF ACID.  With difficulty.

                                                          50.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I decided to eat only half at first.            Good thinking.  But I spilled the            rest on the sleeve of my red            Pendleton shirt.

SF!papyrus stares at his sleeve, uncertain what to do.  C/U of the door to the men's room as a MUSICIAN enters speaking in slow-motion.

                        MUSICIAN            What's the trouble?

                        SF!papyrus                   (also in slow-motion)            Well, all this white stuff on my            sleeve is LSD.

The MUSICIAN approaches and looks down at SF!papyrus'S arm.  A long pause.

Cut back to tight shot of door as it opens and a very clean- cut, PREPPY, STOCKBROKER TYPE enters.  He freezes in horror. We cut to his POV.  SF!papyrus is standing in the middle of the men's room with the MUSICIAN hunkered down at his side... sucking on his sleeve.  A very gross tableau.  The STOCKBROKER slowly eases out of the room.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            With a bit of luck his life was            ruined -- forever thinking that            just behind some narrow door in all            his favorite bars, men in red            Pendleton shirts are getting            incredible kicks from things he'll            never know.

INT. A BAR - YEARS LATER - NIGHT

The STOCKBROKER LOOKING CONSIDERABLY OLDER sits looking lost, confused, a nervous wreck.  The image flares out in a TV white noise snowstorm.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus sits staring at the TV.

                                                          51.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Strange memories on this nervous            night in Las Vegas.                   (he gets up, pours                   himself a drink)            Has it been five years?  Six?  It            seems like a lifetime -- the kind            of peak that never comes again.            San Francisco in the middle sixties            was a very special time and place            to be a part of.  But no            explanation, no mix of words or            music or memories can touch that            sense of knowing that you were            there and alive in that corner of            time and the world.  Whatever it            meant.

SF!papyrus throws open the curtains.  Light streams in.

EXT. 1965 STOCK FOOTAGE

We are in SAN FRANCISCO.  IMAGES OF THE TIME FLOOD IN.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            THERE WAS MADNESS IN ANY DIRECTION,            AT ANY HOUR... YOU COULD STRIKE            SPARKS ANYWHERE.  THERE WAS A            FANTASTIC UNIVERSAL SENSE THAT            WHATEVER WE WERE DOING WAS RIGHT,            THAT WE WERE WINNING.  AND THAT, I            THINK, WAS THE HANDLE -- THAT SENSE            OF INEVITABLE VICTORY OVER THE            FORCES OF OLD AND EVIL.  NOT IN ANY            MEAN OR MILITARY SENSE; WE DIDN'T            NEED THAT.  OUR ENERGY WOULD SIMPLY            prevail.  We had all the momentum;            we were riding the crest of a high            and beautiful wave...

SF!papyrus'S FACE IS SUFFUSED WITH A SADNESS AND SERENITY WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            So now, less than five years later,            you can go up on a steep hill in            Las Vegas and look west, and with            the right kind of eyes you can            almost see the high water mark --            that place where the wave finally            broke and rolled back.

                                                          52.

The memories dissolve into the night skyline of Vegas. Suddenly towering over the casinos is a 200 foot high Nazi shouting "WOODSTOCK ÜBER ALLES!"

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus closes the curtain.  The room is in darkness again.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAWN

A harsh door buzzer.  SF!papyrus jerks awake.  Alone.  Looking like shit.  Around him is the wreckage of their stay.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The decision to flee came suddenly.            Or maybe not.

SF!papyrus opens the door to a BELL BOY with a trolley load of fruit, drinks and flowers... and a smile.

                        BELL BOY            Room service!

The BELL BOY wheels the trolley across the room -- already stacked with EVEN MORE BOXES OF GOODIES.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Maybe I'd planned it all along --            subconsciously waiting for the            right moment.  The bill was a            factor, I think.  Because I had no            money to pay for it.

SF!papyrus slams the door -- starts FRANTICALLY PACKING.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Our room service tabs had been            running somewhere between $29 and            $36 per hour, for forty-eight            consecutive hours.  Incredible.            How could it happen?

SF!papyrus sees the DISCARDED WRAPPINGS OF EXPENSIVE, HAND TOOLED LUGGAGE.  A sudden thought.  He rushes to GONZO's room -- empty.  His plastic briefcase remains on the bed...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            But by the time I asked this            question, there was no one around            to answer.

SF!papyrus opens the briefcase -- finds the .357 MAGNUM inside.

                                                          53.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            My attorney was gone.  He must have            sensed trouble.

                                           QUICK CUT TO:

EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY

GONZO WAVES GOODBYE as he boards an airplane with a set of brand-new fine cowhide luggage.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Panic.

INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE HOTEL SUITE - DAY

SF!papyrus emerges with his bag and Gonzo's plastic briefcase -- leaves the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door -- checks both ways, then hurries away down the corridor.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            It crept up my spine like first            rising vibes of an acid frenzy.            All these horrible realities began            to dawn on me.

INT. MINT HOTEL ELEVATOR - DAY

An anxiety ridden SF!papyrus watches the floor numbers as the elevator descends.  He searches his pockets...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Here I was, alone in Las Vegas,            with this goddamned incredibly            expensive car, completely twisted            on drugs, no cash, no story for the            magazine.  And on top of everything            else I had a gigantic goddamn hotel            bill to deal with.

SF!papyrus finds a last crumpled $5 bill.

The door opens.  A SECURITY GUARD enters with an OLD LADY IN HANDCUFFS.

SF!papyrus hides the bill -- crams back into the corner.  Doors close.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I didn't even know who had won the            race.  Maybe nobody.

                                                          54.

INT. MINT HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

SF!papyrus hurries out of the elevator -- eyes on a hovering MANAGER.  Past the curious look of the reception CLERK.

                        SF!papyrus                   (muttering to himself)            How would Horatio Alger have            handled this situation?

EXT. MINT HOTEL - DAY

Motoring, SF!papyrus gives his $5 bill to the HOTEL FRONT DOORMAN with a smile.  The DOORMAN blows a frantic whistle and waves at the CAR BOY.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Stay calm.  Stay calm.  I'm a            relatively respectable citizen -- a            multiple felon, perhaps, but            certainly not dangerous.

The CAR BOY pulls up with a screech.  SF!papyrus jumps in.  The back seat is stacked with bars of Neutrogena, piles of Mint 400 t-shirts, boxes of grapefruit.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            Luckily, I had taken the soap and            grapefruit and other luggage out to            the car a few hours earlier.  Now            it was only a matter of slipping            the noose...

SF!papyrus shifts into drive.  Deliverance!

                        CLERK'S VOICE            MR. SF!papyrus!

SF!papyrus freezes.

                        CLERK'S VOICE            Mr. SF!papyrus!  We've been looking for            you!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The game was up!  They had me.

                        SF!papyrus                   (to himself)            Well, why not?  Many fine books            have been written in prison.

                                                          55.

Resigned, SF!papyrus turns off the ignition.  A young CLERK arrives breathlessly with a smile and a YELLOW LETTER IN HIS HAND.

                        CLERK            Sir?                   (thrusts out a TELEGRAM)            This telegram came for you.            Actually, it isn't for you.  It's            for somebody named Thompson, but it            says 'care of Papyrus'.  does            that make sense?

                        SF!papyrus                   (barely able to speak)            Yes... It makes sense.

SF!papyrus stuffs the telegram into his top pocket.

The CLERK peers into the car -- sees part of the enormous stash inside.

                        CLERK            I checked the register for this man            Thompson.  We don't show him but I            figured he might be part of your            team.

                        SF!papyrus            He is.  Don't worry, I'll get it to            him.

He fires up the engine -- eases the RED SHARK into low gear.

SECURITY GUARDS are looking across -- sharing a quiet word or two.

                        CLERK            What confused us was Dr. Gonzo's            signature on the telegram from Los            Angeles.  When we knew he was right            here in the hotel.

                        SF!papyrus            You did the right thing.  Never try            to understand a press message.            About half the time we use codes --            especially with Dr. Gonzo.

                        CLERK            Tell me.  When will the doctor be            awake?

                                                          56.

                        SF!papyrus                   (tenses)            Awake?  What do you mean?

SF!papyrus's eyes are on the SECURITY GUARDS -- moving closer.

                        CLERK                   (uncomfortably)            Well... the manager, Mr. Heem,            would like to meet him.  Nothing            unusual.  Mr. Heem likes to meet            all our large accounts... put them            on a personal basis... just a chat            and a handshake, you understand.

                        SF!papyrus            Of course.  But if I were you, I'd            leave the Doctor alone until after            he's eaten breakfast.  He's a very            crude man.

SF!papyrus edges the car forward, but is stopped by the CLERK.

                        CLERK            But he will be available?  Perhaps            later this morning?

                        SF!papyrus            Look.  That telegram was all            scrambled.  It was actually from            Thompson, not to him.  Western            Union must have gotten the names            reversed.  I have to get going.  I            have to get out to the track.

                        CLERK            There's no hurry!  The race is over!

                        SF!papyrus                   (taking off)            Not for me.

He waves the CLERK off the car -- roars away.

                        CLERK            Let's have lunch!

                        SF!papyrus            Righto!

EXT. ROAD OUT OF VEGAS - DAY

SF!papyrus drives the RED SHARK out of Vegas.

                                                          57.

A "YOU ARE LEAVING LAS VEGAS" sign flashes past.

Bob Dylan plays: "Memphis Blues Again -- "Aaww, Mama, can this really by the end...?"

A sign: LOS ANGELES -- 400 miles.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Jesus, bad waves of paranoia,            madness, fear and loathing --            intolerable vibrations in this            place.  Get out!  The weasels were            closing in.  I could smell the ugly            brutes.  Flee!

SF!papyrus drives fast.

                        SF!papyrus            Do me one last favor Lord: just            give me five more high-speed hours            before you bring the hammer down;            just let me get rid of this goddamn            car and off of this horrible desert.

A sign flashes "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE."

A patrol car pulls out behind him, lights flashing.

                        SF!papyrus (CONT'D)            You evil bastard!  This is your            work!  You'd better take care of            me, Lord... because if you don't            you're going to have me on your            hands.

The patrol car screams after the RED SHARK.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Few people understand the psychology            of dealing with a Highway Traffic            Cop.  Your normal speeder will            panic and immediately pull over to            the side.  This is wrong.

SF!papyrus floors the gas pedal.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            It arouses contempt in the cop heart.

THE SPEEDOMETER CLIMBS STEADILY.

                                                          58.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Make the bastard chase you.  He            will follow.  But he won't know            what to make of your blinker signal            that says you're about to turn right.

SF!papyrus signals right.  The RED SHARK screams at 120 mph.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            This is to let him know you're            looking for a proper place to pull            off and talk.

AN EXIT OFF RAMP: MAX SPEED 25.

SF!papyrus hits the brakes.  The COP brakes.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            It will take him a moment to            realize that he is about to make            180 degree turn at speed... but you            will be ready for it, braced for            the G's and the fast heel toe work.

The patrol car spins and fishtails crazily out of control.

EXT. SCENIC PICNIC AREA - DAY

The patrol car comes skidding around the corner.  SF!papyrus stands beside the RED SHARK, completely relaxed and smiling.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN gets out of the car, screaming.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            Just what the FUCK did you think            you were doing?!

SF!papyrus smiles.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            May I see your license.

                        SF!papyrus            Of course, officer.

SF!papyrus reaches for it.  And BOTH MEN look down at a beer can -- which SF!papyrus had, somehow, forgotten was in his hand.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I knew I was fucked.

The COP relaxes -- actually smiles... He reaches out for SF!papyrus's wallet, then holds out his other hand for the beer.

                                                          59.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            Could I have that, please?

                        SF!papyrus            Why not?  It was getting warm anyway.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN takes it, pours out the beer -- glances in the back seat of the RED SHARK.  Amongst the bars of soap... A case of warm beer.  SF!papyrus smiles back at him.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            You realize...

                        SF!papyrus            Yeah.  I know.  I'm guilty.  I            understand that.  I knew it was a            crime but I did it anyway.  Shit,            why argue?  I'm a fucking criminal.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            That's a strange attitude.

He looks at SF!papyrus thoughtfully.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            You know -- I get the feeling you            could use a nap.  There's a rest            area up ahead.  Why don't you pull            over and sleep a few hours?

                        SF!papyrus            A nap won't help.  I've been awake            for too long -- three or four            nights.  I can't even remember.  If            I go to sleep now, I'm dead for            twenty hours.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN smiles.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            Okay.  Here's how it is.  What goes            into my book, as of noon, is that I            apprehended you... for driving too            fast, and advised you to proceed no            further than the next rest area...            your stated destination, right?            Where you plan to take a long nap.            Do I make myself clear?

                        SF!papyrus            How far is Baker?  I was hoping to            stop there for lunch.

                                                          60.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            Not my jurisdiction.  The city            limits are two point two miles            beyond the rest area.  Can you make            it that far?

                        SF!papyrus            I'll try.  I've been wanting to go            to Baker for a long time.  I've            heard a lot about it.

The PATROLMAN holds the door for SF!papyrus who gets in.

                        HIGHWAY PATROLMAN            Excellent seafood.  With a mind            like yours, you'll probably want to            try the land-crab.  Try the Majestic            Diner.

The PATROLMAN slams the door shut.

EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

SF!papyrus drives away -- teeth gritted.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I felt raped.  The Pig had done me            on all fronts, and now he was going            off to chuckle about it -- on the            west side of town, waiting for me            to make a run for L.A.

SF!papyrus drives past the rest area to an intersection where he signals to turn right into Baker.  As he approaches the turn he sees the HITCHHIKER!  As SF!papyrus slows to make the turn their eyes meet.  SF!papyrus is about to wave -- but the HITCHHIKER drops his thumb.

                        SF!papyrus            Great Jesus, it's him.

SF!papyrus, spooked, SPINS THE RED SHARK round -- ROARS BACK THE WAY HE CAME.

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

SF!papyrus on the public phone booth -- screaming.

                        SF!papyrus            They've nailed me!  I'm trapped in            some stinking desert crossroads            called Baker.  I don't have much            time.  The fuckers are closing in.            They'll hunt me down like a beast!

                                                          61.

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

GONZO sits surrounded by legal papers and law books.  Mexican Day of the Dead masks hang from the walls -- flame-red demons.

                        GONZO            Who?  You sound a little paranoid.

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

SF!papyrus screams -- sweat pouring.

                        SF!papyrus            You bastard!  I need a lawyer            immediately!

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

                        GONZO            What are you doing in Baker?            Didn't you get my telegram?

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

                        SF!papyrus            What?  Fuck telegrams.  I'm in            trouble.  You worthless bastard.            I'll cripple your ass for this!            All that shit in the car is yours!            You understand that?  When I finish            testifying out here you'll be            disbarred!

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

                        GONZO            You're supposed to be in Vegas.  We            have a suite at the Flamingo.  I            was just about to leave for the            airport.

INT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

SF!papyrus pulls out the telegram from his top pocket.

                        GONZO'S VOICE            You brainless scumbag!  You're            supposed to be covering the National            District Attorney's conference!  I            made all the reservations... rented            a white Cadillac convertible... the            whole thing is arranged!  What the            hell are you doing out there in the            middle of the fucking desert?

                                                          62.

SF!papyrus stares at the telegram.

                        SF!papyrus            Never mind.  It's all a big joke.            I'm actually sitting beside the            pool at the Flamingo.  I'm talking            from a portable phone.  Some dwarf            brought it out from the casino.  I            have total credit!  Can you grasp            that?                   (shouts)            Don't come anywhere near this place!            Foreigners aren't welcome here!

SF!papyrus, breathing heavily, hangs up phone.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

C/U of .357 Magnum cylinder being spun.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Well.  This is how the world works.

C/U An IGUANA basks in the sun.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            All energy flows according to the            whims of the Great Magnet.

C/U Barrel of the gun.  It fires.  An explosion of desert dirt.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            What a fool I was to defy Him.

The IGUANA sits unfazed.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Never cross the Great Magnet.  I            understood this now...                   (another blast from                   the gun)            ... and with understanding came a            sense of almost terminal relief.

SF!papyrus stands alone in the vast desert firing at nothing, the thuds of the explosions echo away.

EXT. ROAD INTO VEGAS - DAY

The RED SHARK driving back towards Las Vegas.

                                                          63.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I had to get rid of The Shark.  Too            many people might recognize it...            ...especially the Vegas Police.                   (tight C/U of SF!papyrus)            Luckily, my credit card was still            technically valid.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

SF!papyrus, now driving a white Cadillac Coupe de Ville -- THE WHITE WHALE.

SF!papyrus pushes buttons -- lowers the top.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            This was a superior machine -- ten            grand worth of gimmicks and high            price special effects.  The rear            windows leapt up with a touch like            frogs in a dynamited pond.  The            dashboard was full of esoteric            lights and dials and meters that I            would never understand.

EXT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - AFTERNOON

A GIANT SIGN: THE FLAMINGO WELCOMES THE NATIONAL DA'S CONFERENCE ON NARCOTICS & DANGEROUS DRUGS.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            If the Pigs were gathering in            Vegas, I felt the Drug Culture            should be represented as well...            and there was a certain bent appeal            in the notion of running a savage            burn on one Las Vegas hotel and            then just wheeling across town and            checking into another.

The WHITE WHALE turns into a VIP parking slot, immediately attended by impressed MINIONS.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Me and a thousand ranking cops from            all over America.  Why not?  Move            confidently into their midst.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL LOBBY - AFTERNOON

SF!papyrus enters -- old Levis, grubby sneakers, 10 peso Acapulco shirt coming apart at the seams, 3 day growth, eyes hidden behind mirror shades.  He heads for the check-in line.

                                                          64.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            My arrival was badly timed.

THE PLACE IS FULL OF COPS.  200 of them, on vacation, all dressed in cut price Vegas casuals: plaid Bermuda shorts, Arnie Palmer golf shirts, and rubberized beach sandals.

Ahead of SF!papyrus -- A POLICE CHIEF argues with the DESK CLERK. The POLICE CHIEF'S AGNEW STYLE WIFE stands to the side, weeping.  The POLICE CHIEF'S FRIENDS stand uneasily around.

                        POLICE CHIEF            What do you mean I'm too late to            register?  I'm a police chief.            From Michigan.  Look, fella, I told            you.                   (waves a POSTCARD)            I have a postcard here that says I            have reservations in this hotel.

                        CLERK                   (prissily)            I'm sorry, sir.  You're on the            "late list." Your reservations were            transferred to the... ah...            Moonlight Motel, which is out on            Paradise Boulevard...

                        POLICE CHIEF            I've already paid for my goddamn            room!

                        CLERK            It's actually a very fine place of            lodging and only sixteen blocks            from here, with its own pool and...

                        POLICE CHIEF            You dirty little faggot!  Call the            manager!  I'm tired of listening to            this dogshit!

FRIENDS restrain the POLICE CHIEF.

                        CLERK                   (solicitously)            I'm so sorry, sir.  May I call you            a cab?

The POLICE CHIEF's screamed insults fade away...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Of course, I could hear what the            Clerk was really saying...

                                                          65.

                        CLERK                   (IN SF!papyrus'S IMAGINATION)            Listen, you fuzzy little shithead --            I've been fucked around, in my            time, by a fairly good cross-            section of mean-tempered rule-crazy            cops and now it's MY turn. "Fuck            you, officer, I'm in charge here,            and I'm telling you we don't have            room for you."

SF!papyrus steps to the desk, around the raging POLICE CHIEF.

                        SF!papyrus            Say.  I hate to interrupt, but I            wonder if maybe I could just sort            of slide through and get out of            your way.  Name's Papyrus --            Papyrus.  My attorney made the            reservation.

SF!papyrus snaps a credit card down onto the counter.  EVERYONE goes silent.  The POLICE CHIEF GROUP stares at him like he was some kid of water rat crawling up to the desk.  The CLERK hits the bell for the BELLBOY.

                        CLERK            Certainly, Mr. SF!papyrus!

                        SF!papyrus            My bags are out there in that white            Cadillac convertible.  Can you have            someone drive it around to the room?

ALL EYES turn to the gleaming WHITE WHALE.

                        SF!papyrus            Oh, and could I get a quart of Wild            Turkey, two fifths of Baccardi, and            a night's worth of ice delivered to            my room, please?

                        CLERK            Don't worry about a thing, sir.            Just enjoy your stay.

                        SF!papyrus            Well, thank you.

SF!papyrus gives the POLICE CHIEF a polite smile -- crosses to the elevator -- turns to face the GAWPING COPS -- pops a can of beer and toasts them.  The doors close.

                                                          66.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY

SF!papyrus rams the key home -- swings the door open.

                        SF!papyrus            Ah, home at last!

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - AFTERNOON

SF!papyrus enters.  The door hits something with a thud.

A 16-year-old GIRL with the aura of an angry Pit Bull.

GONZO stands in the bathroom doorway -- stark naked with a drug-addled grin on his face.

                        SF!papyrus            You degenerate pig!

                        GONZO            It can't be helped.  This is Lucy.                   (laughing distractedly)            You know--like "Lucy In The Sky            With Diamonds."

LUCY eyes SF!papyrus venomously.

                        GONZO            Lucy!  Lucy, be cool, goddamnit!            Remember what happened at the            airport!  No more of that, okay?

LUCY keeps her eyes on SF!papyrus.  GONZO idles over and puts his arm round her shoulder.

                        GONZO            Lucy... this is my client.  This is            Mr. SF!papyrus, the famous journalist.            He's paying for this suite, Lucy.            He's on our side.

SF!papyrus flops onto the sofa.

                        GONZO            Mr. SF!papyrus is my friend.  He loves            artists.

SF!papyrus notices for the first time that the room is full of artwork.  Maybe 40 or 50 portraits, some in oil, some in charcoal, all more or less the same size and same face.

                        GONZO            Lucy paints portraits of Barbra            Streisand.

                                                          67.

                        LUCY            I drew these from TV.

                        GONZO            Fantastic.  She came all the way            down here from Montana just to give            these portraits to Barbra.  We're            going over to the Americana Hotel            tonight to meet her backstage...

SF!papyrus's voice rises above GONZO.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I desperately needed peace, rest,            sanctuary.  I hadn't counted on            this.  Finding my attorney on acid            and locked into some kind of            preternatural courtship.

                        SF!papyrus            Well, I guess they brought the car            round by now.  LET'S GET THE STUFF            OUT OF THE TRUNK.

SF!papyrus fixes GONZO hard.

                        GONZO            Absolutely, LET'S GET THE STUFF.                   (to LUCY)            Now, we'll be right back.  Don't            answer the phone if it rings.

                        LUCY                   (makes one-fingered                   Jesus freak sign)            God bless.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY

SF!papyrus collars GONZO -- serious.

                        SF!papyrus            WELL?  What are your plans?

                        GONZO            Plans?

                        SF!papyrus            Lucy.

                                                          68.

                        GONZO                   (struggling to focus)            Shit.  I met her on the plane and I            had all that acid.                   (he shrugs)            You know, those little blue barrels.            I gave her a cap before I realized...            she's a religious freak... Jesus,            she's never even had a drink.

                        SF!papyrus            Well... It'll probably work out.            We can keep her loaded and peddle            her ass at the drug convention.

GONZO stares uneasily at SF!papyrus.

                        GONZO            Listen, she's running away from            home for something like the fifth            time in six months.  It's terrible.

                        SF!papyrus            She's perfect for this gig.  These            cops will go fifty bucks a head to            beat her into submission and then            gang fuck her.  We can set her up            in one of these back street motels,            hang pictures of Jesus all over the            room, then turn these pigs loose on            her... Hell she's strong; she'll            hold her own.

GONZO's face twitches badly.

                        GONZO            Jesus Christ.  I knew you were sick            but I never expected to hear you            actually say that kind of stuff.

                        SF!papyrus            It's straight economics.  This girl            is a god-send.  Shit, she can make            us a grand a day.

                        GONZO            NO!  Stop talking like that.

                        SF!papyrus            I figure she can do about four at a            time.  Christ, if we keep her full            of acid that's more like two grand            a day.  Maybe three.

                                                          69.

                        GONZO            You filthy bastard.  I should cave            your fucking head in.

                        SF!papyrus            In a few hours, she'll probably be            sane enough to work herself into a            towering Jesus-based rage at the            hazy recollection of being seduced            by some kind of cruel Samoan who            fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her            to a Vegas hotel room and savagely            penetrated every orifice in her            body with his throbbing,            uncircumcised member.

GONZO starts crying.

                        GONZO            NO!  I felt sorry for the girl, I            wanted to help her!

                        SF!papyrus            You'll go straight to the gas            chamber.  And even if you manage to            beat that, they'll send you back to            Nevada for Rape and Consensual            Sodomy.  She's got to go.

Pause.

                        GONZO            Shit, it doesn't pay to try to help            somebody these days.

A silence.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The only alternative was to take            her out to the desert and feed her            remains to the lizards.  But, it            seemed a bit heavy for the thing we            were trying to protect: My attorney.

                        GONZO            We have to cut her loose.  She's            got two hundred dollars.  And we            can always call the cops up there            in Montana, where she lives, and            turn her in.

                        SF!papyrus            What?... What kind of goddamn            monster are you?

                                                          70.

                        GONZO            It just occurred to me, that she            has no witnesses.  Anything that            she says about us is completely            worthless.

                        SF!papyrus            Us?

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - SUNSET

SF!papyrus is speaking into the phone in hushed tones.

                        SF!papyrus            Hotel Americana?  I need a            reservation.  For my niece.  Listen,            I need her treated very gently.            She's an artist, and might seem a            trifle highstrung...

In the background GONZO helps LUCY and her paintings out the door.

                        GONZO            Okay, Lucy, it's time to go meet            Barbra...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I felt like a Nazi, but it had to            be done.

EXT. ON THE STREETS - A CAB STAND - DUSK

The WHITE WHALE pulls up -- SF!papyrus at the wheel.  GONZO helps LUCY and her paintings from the car.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Lucy was a potentially fatal            millstone on both our necks.  There            was absolutely no choice but to cut            her adrift and hope her memory was            fucked.

GONZO unrolls a couple of bills -- pays off a CAB DRIVER -- waves to LUCY in the back with her paintings.  She's starting to come down...

GONZO gets back in the WHITE WHALE and slaps his hands together as if washing his hands of the situation.

                        GONZO            Well that's that.  Take off slowly.            Don't attract attention.

                                                          71.

They pull out into traffic.

EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - DUSK

                        GONZO            I gave the cabbie an extra ten            bucks to make sure she gets there            safe.  Also, I told him I'd be            there myself in an hour, and if she            wasn't, I'd come back out here and            rip his lungs out.

                        SF!papyrus            That's good.  You can't be subtle            in this town.

                        GONZO            As your attorney, I advise you to            tell me where you put the goddamn            mescaline.

                        SF!papyrus            Maybe we should take it easy tonight.

                        GONZO            Right.  Let's find a good seafood            restaurant and eat some red salmon.            I feel a powerful lust for red            salmon...

The electric WHITE WHALE heads off down the Strip.  The sun's going down behind the scrub hills, a good Kristofferson tune croaks on the radio in the warm dusk.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - BATHROOM - NEXT MORNING

GONZO throws up in the toilet bowl.

In the background, SF!papyrus opens curtains.  Daylight blinds him.

                        SF!papyrus            Come on, we're going to be late.

GONZO looks up at his sick reflection -- wipes his mouth with a towel.

                        GONZO            This goddamn mescaline.  Why the            fuck can't they make it a little            less pure?  Maybe mix it up with            Rolaids or something.

                                                          72.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - DAY

                        EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR                   (crackling and                   booming over the                   lousy sound system)            On behalf of the prosecuting            attorneys of this county, I welcome            you to the Third National DA's            Conference on Narcotics and            Dangerous Drugs.

The EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR -- well groomed, GOP businessman type -- speaks from the podium.  A banner behind him reads: NATIONAL DA'S CONVENTION 1971. "If You Don't Know, Come To Learn... If You Know, Come To Teach."

A BIG MIXED CROWD: TOP LEVEL STRAIGHT COPS, UNDERCOVER NARCS AND OTHER TWILIGHT TYPES -- beards, mustaches and super-Mod dress.  Just because you're a cop, doesn't mean you can't be WITH IT!  However, for every URBAN-HIPSTER there are around 20 REDNECKS.

A dozen big, low-fidelity speakers mounted on steel poles distort and feed back the EXECUTIVE's voice through the room.

At the back, under a loudspeaker, sits SF!papyrus -- $40 FBI wingtips, a Pat Boone madras sportcoat, and an official name tag: Papyrus, PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, L.A.

GONZO sits beside him.  His name tag: DR. GONZO.  EXPERT, CRIMINAL DRUG ANALYSIS.  He's nervous -- close to the edge.

                        GONZO                   (lowers his voice)            I saw these bastards in Easy Rider,            but I didn't believe they were real.            Not like this.  Not hundreds of them!

                        SF!papyrus            They're actually nice people when            you get to know them.

                        GONZO            Man, I know these people in my            goddamn blood!

                        SF!papyrus            Don't mention that word around here.            You'll get them excited.

                        GONZO            This is a fucking nightmare.

                                                          73.

                        SF!papyrus            Right.  Sure as hell some dope-            dealing bomb freak is going to            recognize you and put the word out            that you're partying with a thousand            cops.

                        COP IN BACK            SSSSHHH!

DR. BLUMQUIST -- a "drug expert" -- takes the stage.

                        DR. BLUMQUIST            We must come to terms with the Drug            Culture in the country... country...            country...

The sound systems echoes.

                        DR. BLUMQUIST (CONT'D)            The reefer butt is called a "roach,"            because it resembles a cockroach...            cockroach... cockroach...

                        GONZO                   (whispers)            What the fuck are these people            talking about?  You'd have to be            crazy on acid to think a joint            looked like a goddamn cockroach!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            It was clear that we had stumbled            into a prehistoric gathering.

                        DR. BLUMQUIST            Now, there are four states of being            in the cannabis, or marijuana,            society: Cool, Groovy, Hip, and            Square.  The square is seldom if            ever cool.  He is not "with it,"            that is, he doesn't know "what's            happening." But if he manages to            figure it out, he moves up a notch            to "hip."

SF!papyrus and GONZO listen in disbelief.

                        DR. BLUMQUIST (CONT'D)            And if he can bring himself to            approve of what is happening, he            becomes "groovy." After that, with            much luck and perseverance, he can            rise to the rank of "cool." A cool            guy... cool guy... cool guy...

                                                          74.

                        COP IN BACK            Dr. Bloomquist, do you think the            anthropologist, Margaret Mead's            strange behavior of late might            possibly be explained by a private            marijuana addiction?

                        DR. BLUMQUIST            I really don't know, but at her            age, if she did smoke grass, she'd            have one hell of a trip!

Roars of laughter.

                        GONZO            I know a hell of a lot better ways            to waste my time than listening to            this bullshit.

He stands, knocking the ashtray off his chair arm, and plunges down the aisle to the door.

                        COP IN BACK            Down in front!

                        GONZO            Fuck you!  I have to get out!  I            don't belong here!

                        COP IN BACK            Good riddance!

He stumbles from the room.  SF!papyrus turns his attention back to the stage.

The lights go down.  A black & white film -- REEFER MADNESS! -- illustrates his now evangelical talk.

                        FILM NARRATOR            KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND!  YOUR LIFE            MAY DEPEND ON IT!  You will not be            able to see his eyes because of            Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will            be white from inner tension...

SF!papyrus turns his attention to a 340 pound TEXAN POLICE CHIEF who necks with his 290 pound WIFE beside him.

                        FILM NARRATOR            ... and his pants will be crusted            with semen from constantly jacking            off when he can't find a rape            victim...

                                                          75.

SF!papyrus gazes at the TEXAN and his WIFE. -- Feigning sickness, he gets up, hand over mouth.

                        SF!papyrus            Pardon me, I feel sick.

                        FILM NARRATOR            He will stagger and babble when            questioned.  He will not respect            your badge.  The Dope Fiend fears            nothing.  He will attack, for no            reason, with every weapon at his            command -- including yours...

SF!papyrus heads for the exit.

                        SF!papyrus            Sorry, sick... Beg pardon!  Feeling            sick...

                        FILM NARRATOR            BEWARE.  Any officer apprehending a            suspected marijuana addict should            use all necessary force immediately.            One stitch in time [on him] will            usually save nine on you.

SF!papyrus CRASHES OUT THROUGH THE DOOR.

INT. CASINO BAR - DAY

SF!papyrus sees GONZO at the bar -- talking to a SPORTY LOOKING COP about 40 whose name tag identifies him as a DISTRICT ATTORNEY FROM GEORGIA.

                        DA            I'm a whiskey man myself.  We don't            have much trouble from drugs where            I come from...

                        GONZO            You will.  One of these nights            you'll wake up and find a junkie            tearing your bedroom apart.

                        DA            Naw!

                        GONZO            They'll climb right into your            bedroom and sit on your chest with            big Bowie knives.  They might even            sit on your wife's chest.  Put the            blade right down on her throat.

                                                          76.

                        DA            Not down in my parts.

SF!papyrus joins them.

                        SF!papyrus                   (to WAITRESS)            Rum and ice, please.

                        DA                   (looks at SF!papyrus'S NAME TAG)            You're another one of these            California boys.  Your friend            here's been tellin' us about dope            fiends.

                        SF!papyrus            They're everywhere.  Nobody's safe.            And sure as hell not in the South.            They like warm weather... You'd            never believe it.  In L.A. it's out            of control.  First it was drugs,            now it's witchcraft.

                        DA            Witchcraft?  Shit, you can't mean it!

The BARTENDER cleans his glasses, one ear straining for the conversation.

                        GONZO            Read the newspapers.

                        SF!papyrus            Man, you don't know trouble until            you have to face down a bunch of            these addicts gone crazy for human            sacrifice!

                        DA            Naw!  That's science fiction stuff!

                        SF!papyrus            Not where we operate.

                        GONZO            Hell, in Malibu alone, these            goddamn Satan worshippers kill six            or eight people every day.  All            they want is the blood.  They'll            take people right off the street if            they have to.

                                                          77.

                        SF!papyrus            Just the other day we had a case            where they grabbed a girl right out            of a McDonald's hamburger stand.            She was a waitress, about sixteen            years old... with a lot of people            watching, too!

The BARTENDER keeps cleaning the same glass -- more and more furiously.

                        DA            What happened?  What did they do to            her?

                        GONZO            Do?  Jesus Christ, man.  They            chopped her goddamn head off right            there in the parking lot!  Then            they cut all kinds of holes in her            head and sucked out the blood!

                        DA                   (DA ad-libs a                   summation of the crime)            And nobody did anything?

                        SF!papyrus            What could they do?  The guy that            took the head was about six-seven,            and maybe three-hundred pounds.  He            was packing two Lugers, and the            others had M-16s.

                        GONZO            They just ran back out into Death            Valley -- you know, where Manson            turned up...

                        SF!papyrus            Like big lizards.

                        GONZO            ... and every one of them stacked            naked...

                        DA            Naked!?

                        SF!papyrus            Naked.

                                                          78.

                        GONZO            Yeh, naked!... except for the            weapons.

                        SF!papyrus            They were all veterans.

                        DA            Veterans?!!!?

Agog with the horrors of the story, the BARTENDER polishes the glass -- faster and faster...

                        GONZO            Yeh.  The big guy used to be a            major in the Marines.

                        DA            A major!

                        GONZO            We know where he lives, but we            can't get near the house.

                        DA            Naw!  Not a major.

                        GONZO            He wanted the pineal gland.

                        DA            Really?

                        GONZO            That's how he got so big.  When he            quit the Marines he was just a            little guy.

                        SF!papyrus            Usually, it's whole families.            During the night.  Most of them            don't even wake up until they feel            their heads going -- and then, of            course, it's too late.

The glass smashes in the BARTENDER's hand.

                        SF!papyrus (CONT'D)            Happens every day.

SF!papyrus turns to a WAITRESS with a warm smile.

                                                          79.

                        SF!papyrus (CONT'D)            Three more rums.  Plenty of ice.            Maybe a handful of lime chunks.

                        WAITRESS            Are you guys with the police            convention upstairs?

                        DA            We sure are, Miss.

                        WAITRESS            I thought so.  I never heard that            kind of talk around here before.            Jesus Christ!  How do you guys            stand that kind of work?

                        GONZO                   (grinning)            We like it.  It's groovy.

The WAITRESS stares -- sickened -- at GONZO.

                        SF!papyrus            What's wrong with you?  Hell,            somebody has to do it.

                        GONZO            Hurry up with those drinks.  We're            thirsty.  Only two rums.  Make mine            a Bloody Mary.

                        DA                   (whacks his fist on                   the bar)            Hell, I really hate to hear this.            Because everything that happens in            California seems to get down our            way, sooner or later.  Mostly            Atlanta.  But that was back when            the goddamn bastards were peaceful.            All we had to do was to keep 'em            under surveillance.  They didn't            roam around much... But now Jesus,            it seems nobody's safe.

                        GONZO                   (with a conspiratorial                   nod)            You're going to need to take the            bull by the horns -- go to the mat            with this scum.

                                                          80.

                        DA            What do you mean by that?

                        GONZO            You know what I mean.  We've done            it before and we can damn well do            it again!

                        SF!papyrus            Cut their goddamn heads off.  Every            one of them.  That's what we're            doing in California.

                        DA                   (stupefied)            WHAT?

                        GONZO            Sure.  It's all on the Q.T., but            everybody who matters is with us            all the way down the line.

                        SF!papyrus            We keep it quiet.  It's not the            kind of thing you'd want to talk            about upstairs.  Not with the press            around.

                        DA                   (recovering slightly)            Hell, no.  We'd never hear the            goddamn end of it.

                        SF!papyrus            Dobermans don't talk.

                        DA            What?

                        GONZO            Sometimes it's easier to just rip            out the backstraps.

                        SF!papyrus            They'll fight like hell if you try            to take the head without the dogs.

                        DA            God almighty!                   (muttering in a daze)            I don't think I should tell my wife            about this.  She'd never understand.            You know how women are.

                                                          81.

SF!papyrus gives the DA a brotherly slap on the back.

                        SF!papyrus            Just be thankful your heart is            young and strong.

SF!papyrus and GONZO leave the stunned DA -- staring into the swirling ice in drink.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - DAY

SF!papyrus and GONZO fall into the suite in fits of laughter.

GONZO feels the nausea rise suddenly -- heads for the bathroom.  Immediate sounds of retching.

The phone message light is blinking.  SF!papyrus opens a beer, picks up the phone.

                        SF!papyrus            What's the message?  My light is            blinking.

                        CLERK (V/O)            Ah, yes.  Mr. SF!papyrus?  You have one            message: "Call Lucy at the Americana            Hotel, room 1600."

                        SF!papyrus            Holy shit!

SF!papyrus slams the phone down.  GONZO emerges from the bathroom -- looking like death.

                        SF!papyrus            Lucy called.

GONZO sags visibly -- like an animal taking a bullet.

                        GONZO            What?

The telephone rings.  SF!papyrus answers.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - RECEPTION - DAY

A worried CLERK speaks in to the phone.

                        CLERK            Mr. SF!papyrus?  Hello, Mr. SF!papyrus, I'm            sorry we were cut off a moment            ago... I thought I should call            again, because I was wondering...

                                                          82.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - DAY

                        SF!papyrus            WHAT?                   (hand over the PHONE)            What was that crazy bitch said to            him?                   (screams)            There's a war on, man!  People are            being killed!

                        CLERK (V/O)            Killed?

                        SF!papyrus            IN VIETNAM!  ON THE GODDAMN            TELEVISION!

                        CLERK (V/O)            Oh... yes... yes... This terrible            war.  When will it end?

                        SF!papyrus            Tell me.  What do you want?

In the background GONZO is upturning a sofa to retrieve his stash from the lining.

                        CLERK (V/O)            The woman who left that message for            you sounded very disturbed.  I            think she was crying...

                        SF!papyrus            Crying?  Why was she crying?

                        CLERK (V/O)            Well, uh.  She didn't say Mr. SF!papyrus.            But since I know you're here with            the Police Convention...

                        SF!papyrus            Look, you want to be gentle with            that woman if she ever calls again.            We're watching her very carefully...            this woman has been into laudanum.            It's a controlled experiment, but I            suspect we'll need your cooperation            before this thing is over.

                        CLERK (V/O)                   (hesitantly)            Well, certainly... We're always   ��        happy to cooperate with the police...

                                                          83.

                        SF!papyrus            Don't worry.  You're protected.            Just treat this poor woman like            you'd treat any other human being            in trouble.

                        CLERK (V/O)            What?  Ah... yes, yes, I see what            you mean... Yes... so, you'll be            responsible then?

                        SF!papyrus            Of course.  And now I have to get            back to the news.  Send up some ice.

He hangs up.  GONZO zaps TV channels -- commercials.

                        GONZO            Good work.  They'll treat us like            goddamn lepers after that.

                        SF!papyrus                   (slowly, carefully)            Lucy is looking for you.

                        GONZO                   (laughing)            No, she's looking for you.

                        SF!papyrus            Me?

                        GONZO            She really flipped over you.  The            only way I could get rid of her was            by saying you were taking me out to            the desert for a showdown -- that            you wanted me out of the way so you            could have her all to yourself.                   (laughing again)            I guess she figures you won.  That            phone message wasn't for me, was it?

A look of stunned realization from SF!papyrus...

INT. FANTASY COURT ROOM - DAY

LUCY is on the witness stand.

                        LUCY            Yessir, those two men in the dock            are the ones who gave me the LSD            and took me to the hotel.

                                                          84.

A doomed SF!papyrus and GONZO await their fate.

                        LUCY            I don't know for sure what they            done to me, but I remember it was            horrible.

                        JUDGE            Twenty years... and Double            Castration!

The JUDGE bangs his gavel.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - DAY

SF!papyrus is madly stuffing his suitcase.

                        GONZO            Wait!  You can't leave me alone in            this snake pit.  This room is in my            name.

SF!papyrus KEEPS PACKING.  GONZO is looking worried.

                        GONZO            OK, goddamnit!... Look... I'll call            her.  I'll get her off our backs.            You're right.  She's my problem.

                        SF!papyrus            It's gone too far.

                        GONZO            Relax.  Let me handle this.                   (dials the PHONE,                   snaps angrily at SF!papyrus)            You'd make a piss-poor lawyer.            ...Room 1600, please.                   (to SF!papyrus)            As your attorney, I advise you not            to worry.                   (nods towards bathroom)            Take a hit out of that little brown            bottle in my shaving kit.

SF!papyrus goes in the bathroom.  He finds a little bottle -- a label: "DRINK ME."

                        SF!papyrus            What is this?

                                                          85.

                        GONZO            You won't need much.  Just a little            tiny taste, that stuff makes pure            mescaline seem like ginger-beer.            Adrenochrome.

SF!papyrus stares wonderingly at the bottle.

                        SF!papyrus            Adrenochrome...

                        GONZO                   (into PHONE)            Hi, Lucy?  Yeah, it's me.  I got            your message...what?  Hell, no, I            taught the bastard a lesson he'll            never forget... what?  No, not            dead, but he won't be bothering            anybody for a while.  Yeah.  I left            him out there, I stomped him, then            pulled all his teeth out...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I remember thinking, "Jesus, what a            terrible thing to lay on somebody            with a head full of acid."

SF!papyrus dips a match head into the brown bottle -- studies it -- TASTES IT -- NOTHING -- TASTES SOME MORE...

                        GONZO                   (to PHONE)            But here's the problem.  That            bastard cashed a bad check            downstairs and gave you as a            reference.  They'll be looking for            both of you.  Yeah, I know, but you            can't judge a book by its cover,            Lucy.  Some people are just            basically rotten... Anyway, the            last thing you want to do is call            this hotel again; they'll trace the            call and put you straight behind            bars... no, I'm moving to the            Tropicana right away.  I have to            go, they've got the phone tapped.            Yeah, I know, it was horrible, but            it's all over now... OH MY GOD!            THEY'RE KICKING THE DOOR DOWN!                   (throws the PHONE                   down; shouts)            No!  Get away from me!  I'm innocent!            It was SF!papyrus!  I swear to God!                         (MORE)

                                                          86.

                        GONZO (CONT'D)                   (stomps the PHONE; moans)            No, I don't know where she is.            You'll never catch Lucy!  She's            gone!  I swear, I don't know where            she is!  DON'T PUT THAT THING ON ME!                   (slams the PHONE down)

GONZO sits back in his chair... watching MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

                        GONZO            Well.  That's that.  She's probably            stuffing herself down the            incinerator about now.  That's the            last we should be hearing from Lucy.                   (fumbling with the                   hash pipe)            Where's the opium?

SF!papyrus stares at the back of GONZO's neck.  SOMETHING VERY STRANGE IS HAPPENING TO HIM...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I remember slumping on the bed, his            performance had given me a bad jolt.            For a moment I thought his mind had            snapped -- that he actually believed            he was being attacked by invisible            enemies.  But the room was quiet            again.

SF!papyrus CLUTCHES THE BROWN BOTTLE.

                        SF!papyrus            Where'd you get this?

                        GONZO            Never mind, it's absolutely pure.

                        SF!papyrus            Jesus... what kind of monster            client have you picked up this time?            There's only one source for this            stuff -- the adrenaline gland from            a living human body!

GONZO turns to smile at SF!papyrus.

                                                          87.

                        GONZO            I know, but the guy didn't have any            cash to pay me.  He's one of these            Satanism freaks.  He offered me            human blood -- said it would take            me higher than I've ever been in my            life.                   (laughs -- struts                   round SF!papyrus -- eyes                   bright with expectation)            I thought he was kidding, so I told            him I'd just as soon have an ounce            or so of pure adrenochrome -- or            maybe just a fresh adrenaline gland            to chew on.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I could already feel the stuff            working on me -- the first wave            felt like a combination of mescaline            and methedrine -- maybe I should            take a swim, I thought...

SF!papyrus sees that GONZO is TOYING WITH HIS HUNTING KNIFE...

                        GONZO            Yeah, they nailed this guy for            child molesting.  He swore he            didn't do it. "Why should I fuck            with children?" he says. "They're            too small." Christ, werewolf is            entitled to legal counsel.  I            didn't dare turn the creep down.            He might have picked up a letter            opener and gone after my pineal            gland!

GONZO JABS WITH THE RAZOR BRIGHT KNIFE.  SF!papyrus'S BODY IS GOING RIGID -- HE SPEAKS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH.

                        SF!papyrus            Why not?  We should get some of            that.  Just eat a big handful and            see what happens.

                        GONZO            Some of what?

                        SF!papyrus                   (spitting words)            Extract of pineal!

                                                          88.

                        GONZO                   (STARING AT SF!papyrus WITH                   A STRANGE SMILE)            Sure.  That's a good idea.  One            whiff of that shit would turn you            into something out of a goddamn            medical encyclopedia.

GONZO GROWS HORNS -- HIS FACE BECOMES A MEXICAN DEMON MASK.

                        GONZO            Man, your head would swell up like            a watermelon, you'd probably gain            about a hundred pounds in two            hours...

A CLOVEN HOOF BURSTS THROUGH GONZO'S SHOE.

                        SF!papyrus            Right!

                        GONZO            ... grow claws... bleeding warts.

GONZO'S CHEST EXPANDS -- BONY RIBS BURSTING HIS SHIRT.

                        SF!papyrus            Yes!

                        GONZO            ... then you'd notice about six            huge hairy tits swelling up on your            back...

A TAIL LASHES, HOOFS STRIKE THE FLOOR.  GONZO TOWERS -- A FLAME RED DEMON!

                        SF!papyrus            Fantastic!

SF!papyrus is now so wire that his hands are CLAWING UNCONTROLLABLY at the bedspread, JERKING IT RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER HIM.  His heels are dug into the mattress with both KNEES LOCKED, EYEBALLS SWELLING.

GONZO-DEMON LOOMS AGAINST THE CEILING.

                        GONZO            you'd go blind... your body would            turn to wax... they'd have to put            you in a wheelbarrow and...

GONZO'S VOICE FADES AWAY -- SF!papyrus'S frenzied gaze reveals GONZO REVERTED TO NORMAL HUMAN SHAPE AND SIZE.

                                                          89.

                        GONZO            Man I'll try about anything; but            I'd never touch a pineal gland.

                        SF!papyrus            FINISH THE FUCKING STORY!  What            happened?!  What about the glands?

GONZO, a small smile on his lips, backs away warily... towards the TV -- NOW A HUNDRED FEET AWAY IN THE DISTANCE...

                        GONZO            Jesus, that stuff got right on top            of you, didn't it.

VEINS stand out on SF!papyrus's forehead.  He is purplish-red. OVER THE TOP!  Too late, he realizes he is NEAR DEATH!

                        SF!papyrus            Maybe you could just... shove me            into the pool, or something...

GONZO shakes his head disgustedly.

                        GONZO            If I put you in the pool right now,            you'd sink like a goddamn stone.            You took too much.  Jesus, look at            your face, you're about to explode.

GONZO sits back down... watching the TV.

                        GONZO            Don't try and fight it, or you'll            get brain bubbles.  Strokes,            aneurysms.  You'll just wither up            and die.

SF!papyrus FALLS TO THE GROUND, WRITHING, CATATONIC, SINKING INTO PARALYSIS.

AND THE SOUND, SUDDENLY AND STRANGELY, OF THE VOICE OF RICHARD NIXON AND HIS DISTORTED FACE ON THE TV SCREEN.

                        NIXON            Sacrifice... sacrifice...            sacrifice...

SF!papyrus PASSES OUT.

BLACK SCREEN

                                                          90.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

Darkness.  Insanely, somewhere NILSSON plays -- "Put the lime in the coconut and mix em all up..."

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            What kind of rat-bastard psychotic            would play that song -- right now,            at this moment?

SF!papyrus opens his eyes and the hotel suite rushes in.  He lies, awkwardly twisted -- unable to move.  He could have been there days -- months.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            When I came to the general back            alley ambiance of the suite was so            rotten, so incredibly foul.  How            long had I been lying there?  Hours?            Days?  Months?  All these signs of            violence.  What had happened?

SF!papyrus moves his eyes -- taking in his surroundings: Like THE SIGHT OF SOME DISASTROUS ZOOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT involving whisky and gorillas.  Blue and red Christmas tree lights replace lightbulbs, used towels hanging everywhere, pornographic pictures ripped out of a magazine are plastered on a shattered mirror.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There was evidence in this room of            excessive consumption of almost            every type of drug known to            civilized man since 1544 AD.

SF!papyrus manages to move -- stiffly gets to his bare feet -- HOBBLES ROUND THE TRASHED ROOM like a newly risen ape.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            But what kind of addict would need            all these coconut husks and crushed            honeydew rinds?  Would the presence            of junkies account for all these            uneaten french fries?  These            puddles of glazed ketchup on the            bureau?  Maybe so, but then why all            this booze?  And these crude            pornographic photos smeared with            mustard that had dried to a hard            yellow crust...

SF!papyrus peers into Gonzo's room -- HIS BED LIKE A BURNED OUT RAT'S NEST -- blackened springs and wires.

                                                          91.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            These were not the hoof prints of            your normal god-fearing junkie.  It            was too savage, too aggressive.

QUICK FLASHBACK:

GONZO SMASHES THE TEN FOOT MIRROR WITH A HAMMER:

BACK IN THE ROOM:

SF!papyrus stares at the smashed mirror.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Grim memories and bad flashbacks.

In the bathroom, SF!papyrus'S unlaced boots CRUSH BROKEN GLASS IN VOMIT AND GRAPEFRUIT RINDS.

SF!papyrus unzips and pisses.  THERE IN THE TOILET BOWL IS THE MAGNUM .357!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Something ugly had happened.  I was            sure of it...

SF!papyrus stares at the golden stream SPLASHING ON THE GUN.

The SOUNDS OF VOMITING come from a closet near the front door.

SF!papyrus looks into the room.  He sees GONZO's ass sticking out of the closet.  He opens his mouth to speak when, IN THE SMASHED MIRROR HE SEES THE FRAGMENTED REFLECTION OF HIMSELF... sleeping on the sofa.

The ominous SOUND OF A KEY TURNING in the room lock.

A hellish scream wakes up the SLEEPING SF!papyrus.  He sees GONZO grappling naked with the maid -- gun to her head.  GONZO is muffling her screams with an ice bag.

                        MAID            Please... please... I'm only the            maid.  I didn't mean nothin!...

                        SF!papyrus                   (jumps up from the                   bed, flashing his                   press badge)            YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

                                                          92.

                        GONZO                   (to SF!papyrus)            She must have used a pass key.  I            was polishing my shoes in the            closet when I noticed her sneaking            in-so I took her.

SF!papyrus shakes his head.

                        SF!papyrus                   (barks at the MAID)            What made you do it?  Who paid you            off?

                        MAID            Nobody.  I'm the maid!

                        GONZO            You're lying!  You were after the            evidence.  Who put you up to            this -- the manager?

                        MAID            I don't know what you're talking            about!

                        GONZO            Bullshit!  You're just as much a            part of it as they are!

                        MAID            Part of what?

                        SF!papyrus            The dope ring.  You must know            what's going on in this hotel.  Why            do you think we're here?

                        MAID                   (blubbering)            I know you're cops, but I thought            you were just here for that            convention.  I swear!  All I wanted            to do was clean up the room.  I            don't know anything about dope!

GONZO laughs.

                        GONZO            Come on, baby don't try to tell us            you never heard of the Grange Gorman.

                                                          93.

                        MAID            No!  No!  I swear to Jesus I never            heard of that stuff!

                        SF!papyrus            Maybe she's telling the truth.            Maybe she's not part of it.

                        MAID            No!  I swear I'm not!

                        GONZO                   (long pause)            In that case, maybe she can help.

                        MAID            Yes!  I'll help you all you need!            I hate dope!

                        SF!papyrus            So do we, lady.

                        GONZO                   (helping her up)            I think we should put her on the            payroll.  See what she comes up with.

                        SF!papyrus            Do you think you can handle it?

                        MAID            What?

                        GONZO            One phone call every day.  Just            tell us what you've seen.  Don't            worry if it doesn't add up, that's            our problem.

GONZO hustles the MAID to the door.

                        MAID            You'd pay me for that?

                        SF!papyrus            You're damn right.  But the first            time you say anything about this,            to anybody -- you'll go straight to            prison for the rest of your life.            What's your name?

                        MAID            Alice.  Just ring Linen Service and            ask for Alice.

                                                          94.

                        GONZO            Alright, Alice... you'll be            contacted by Inspector Rock.            Arthur Rock.  He'll be posing as a            politician.

                        SF!papyrus            Inspector Rock will pay you.  In            cash.  A thousand dollars on the            ninth of every month.

                        MAID            Oh Lord!  I'd do just about anything            for that!

                        GONZO            You and a lot of other people.

                        SF!papyrus            The password is: "One Hand Washes            The Other." The minute you hear            that, you say "I fear nothing."

                        MAID            I fear nothing.

She repeats the password several times while they listen to make sure she has it right.

                        GONZO            Oh, and don't bother to make up the            room.  That way we won't have to            risk another of these little            incidents, will we?

                        MAID            Whatever you say, gentlemen.  I            can't tell you how sorry I am about            what happened...

                        GONZO            Don't worry, it's all over now.            Thank God for the decent people.

She smiles, repeating to herself "One Hand Washes The Other" as GONZO hangs the DO NOT DISTURB sign and shuts the door.

CUT BACK TO THE PRESENT.

A grimy tape runs through a grunged-up portable tape recorder.

                        GONZO ON TAPE            ... Thank God for the decent people.

                                                          95.

SF!papyrus sits in the middle of the wrecked suite with his mangled tape recorder in front of him.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Memories of that night are extremely            hazy...

SF!papyrus fast forwards through the tape -- SEARCHING: "Awwww, mama... can this really...be the end...?"

EXT. SAFEWAY SUPERMARKET - DAY

The WHITE WHALE waits -- gleaming -- beautiful.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There is a definite obligation,            when you boom around Vegas in a            white Coupe de Ville, to maintain a            certain style.

SF!papyrus and GONZO burst out of the supermarket riding a shopping basket loaded with COCONUTS, GRAPEFRUIT and TEQUILA.  They send DEFEATED SHOPPERS sprawling.

The trolley collides into the WHITE WHALE.  SHOPPERS gather at the supermarket entrance to watch -- baskets loaded with junk, SCREAMING KIDS and EMPTY WALLETS.

SF!papyrus switches on the music: JUMPING JACK FLASH.  He selects a coconut -- ceremonially balances it on the hood.  GONZO pulls out a silver claw-hammer.  A sly look at the gathering CROWD... then he smashes the hammer down on the coconut!

A GASP from the surly SHOPPERS.

SF!papyrus places another coconut.  SMASH!  Milk and white meat flies everywhere.

                        SHOPPER #1            Hey!  Is that your car?

                        SF!papyrus            Sure is.

SMASH!  Coconut fragments fly.

                        SF!papyrus            Any of you folks want the milk?            We're after the meat.  This is            honest coconut essence.  Real meat.

SMASH!

                                                          96.

                        SHOPPER #2            Meat, hell!  Look what you're doing            to that car!

                        GONZO            Fuck the car.  They should make            these things with a goddamn FM radio.

SMASH!

                        SF!papyrus            Yeh... This foreign made crap -- is            sucking our dollar balance dry!

                        SHOPPER #3            Someone should stop them!

SMASH!

                        SF!papyrus            You poor fools don't understand, do            you?  This car is the property of            the World Bank!  That money goes to            ITALY!

                        SHOPPER #3            Somebody should call the police!

                        GONZO            Police?  Are you people crazy?

GONZO confronts the CROWD, hammer in one hand, a coconut in the other.

                        GONZO (CONT'D)            You folks every heard of ole            Patrick Henry?  Know what he said?!

Silence -- the CROWD uncomprehending of this STONE DEGENERATE.

                        GONZO (CONT'D)                   (ROARS)            GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

GONZO brings the hammer down on the hood.  CLANG!

A gasp from the CROWD.  Getting ugly.

                        GONZO (CONT'D)            In Samoa we LOVE THE CONSTITUTION!

                        SHOPPER #3            Bullshit.

                                                          97.

The CROWD move in.

                        SHOPPER #1            Call the goddamn police!

GONZO SWINGS THE HAMMER.  CLANG!

                        SHOPPER #4            Look what they've done to that            beautiful car!

SF!papyrus jumps in behind the wheel.

                        SF!papyrus            This crowd is not rational.  They            can't relate to us.  Let's go!

A final CLANG!  GONZO jumps in.

SF!papyrus floors the accelerator -- screams at the CROWD.

                        SF!papyrus            You people voted for Hubert Humphrey!            You killed Jesus!

They swerve round and through the CROWD.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The crowd broke ranks.  Nobody            wants to be run over by a Coupe de            Ville.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus FAST-FORWARDS... PLAYS THE TAPE...

                        VOICE ON TAPE            You found the American Dream?  In            this town?

                        SF!papyrus ON TAPE            We're sitting on the main nerve            right now...

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT

SF!papyrus and GONZO (wearing a single black glove) talk conspiratorially to a 3RD MAN.  A PLACID ORANGUTAN in a bow tie sits next to him.  THE BAR IS REVOLVING FASTER THAN NORMAL.  SF!papyrus IS INSANELY TALKATIVE -- WIRED!

                                                          98.

                        SF!papyrus            The manager told me a story about            the owner of this place...about how            he always wanted to run away and            join the circus when he was a kid.            Well, now the bastard has his own            circus, and a license to steal, too.

                        3RD MAN            You're right -- he's the model.

                        SF!papyrus            Absolutely!  Pure Horatio Alger...            Say...

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus playing the tape.

                        SF!papyrus ON TAPE            ... how much do you think he'd take            for the ape?

SF!papyrus fast-forwards again -- searching... TRAFFIC NOISES. SCREECH OF BRAKES.

                        VOICE ON TAPE            Holy God!...

A TERRIBLE GRINDING NOISE.

EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

                        RENTAL AGENT            Holy God!, how did this happen?

                        SF!papyrus            They beat the shit out of it.

                        RENTAL AGENT            The top's completely jammed!

The CAR RENTAL AGENT wrestles with the trashed car.

                        SF!papyrus            Yeah, something's wrong with the            motor...

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

                        SF!papyrus ON TAPE            ... The generator light's been on            red ever since I drove the thing            into Lake Mead on a water test...

                                                          99.

A HUGE SPLASH...

The tape's gone too far.

                        SF!papyrus            No, no.  Shit...

SF!papyrus races the tape BACKWARDS... Then, SIRENS HOWL.

                        SF!papyrus ON TAPE            Where's the ape?  I'm ready to            write a check.

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS BAR - NIGHT

SF!papyrus is standing in the middle of A SEMI-DESTROYED BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING BAR.  Mirrors are broken.  People are recovering from some kind of battle.  THE BAR SPINS MADLY. SF!papyrus IS INSANELY WIRED.

                        3RD MAN            Forget it, he just attacked an old            man... he took a bite out of the            bartender's head!  The cops took            the ape away.

                        SF!papyrus            Goddamnit!  What's the bail?  I            want that ape!  I've already            reserved two first-class seats on            the plane.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There was every reason to believe            that we had been heading for            trouble, that we'd pushed our luck            a bit far...

INT. WHITE WHALE ON THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS - NIGHT

GONZO SCREAMS ABUSE out of the window at a Ford alongside the VOMIT STREAKED WHITE WHALE.  SF!papyrus MAKES A SUPERHUMAN EFFORT TO STAY ON THE ROAD.

                        GONZO            Hey there!  You folks want to buy            some heroin?

In the Ford: TWO COUPLES -- MIDDLE-AGED AMERICAN FACES FROZEN IN SHOCK -- stare straight ahead.  GONZO leans out -- close to them.

                                                         100.

                        GONZO            Hey, honkies!  Goddamnit, I'm            serious.  I want to sell you some            pure fucking smack!

No reaction.

                        GONZO            Cheap heroin!  This is the real            stuff!  You won't get hooked.  I            just got back from Vietnam!  This            is scag, folks.  Pure scag!

The lights change.  The Ford bolts.  SF!papyrus keeps pace with them.

                        GONZO            Shoot!  Fuck!  Scag!  Blood!            Heroin!  Rape!  Cheap!  Communist!            Jab it right in your fucking            eyeballs!

The MAN IN THE BACK SEAT suddenly loses control -- enraged, lunges against the glass, trying to get at GONZO.

                        MAN IN CAR            You dirty bastards!  Pull over and            I'll kill you!  God damn you!  You            bastards!

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

BACK IN THE SUITE:

The tapes runs:

                        MAN IN CAR ON TAPE            You dirty bastards!

An ugly squeal of brakes.

                        GONZO ON TAPE            Shit, he was trying to bite me!  I            shoulda maced the fucker!

SF!papyrus fast forwards the tape.  The TAPE MANGLES -- the sounds ski to a halt...

SF!papyrus grabs the nearest tool -- uses it to hook out the tape, then realizes... IT'S GONZO'S RAZOR-SHARP FOLDING KNIFE... A CHILLING MOMENT...

SF!papyrus turns the knife over... THERE'S A DRIED CRIMSON SPOT ON THE BLADE... OR IS IT DRIED MASHED POTATOES?

                                                         101.

READ ON TO FIND OUT!

                        SF!papyrus                   (remembering)            Back door beauty!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The mentality of Las Vegas is so            grossly atavistic that a really            massive crime often slips by            unrecognized.

SF!papyrus SCRAPS A LITTLE OF THE CRUST -- TASTES IT...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            The possibility of physical and            mental collapse is very real... No            sympathy for the devil; keep that            in mind.  Buy the ticket, take the            ride...

HE HEARS THE SOUNDS OF SOMEONE BEHIND BEATEN UP...

                        VOICE OFF            Shit!  Faggot!  Bastard!

EXT. NORTH STAR COFFEE LOUNGE - NIGHT

WHACK!  SHADOWY FIGURES beat up a MAN -- give him A GOOD KICKING.  BRUTAL AND UGLY.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            North Vegas is where you go when            you've fucked up once too often on            The Strip and when you're not even            welcome in the cut-rate Downtown            places.

PAN to reveal a seedy diner -- THE NORTH STAR CAFE in the background.  Through the window -- SF!papyrus and GONZO sit at the counter.

INT. NORTH STAR COFFEE LOUNGE - NIGHT

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The North Star Coffee Lounge seemed            like a fairly safe haven from our            storms.  No hassles, no talk.  Just            a place to rest and regroup.  I            wasn't even hungry.

GONZO stuffs a hamburger down PAYING NO ATTENTION TO THE BEATING going on outside the window.  SF!papyrus reads a newspaper.

                                                         102.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There was nothing in the atmosphere            of the North Star to put me on my            guard...

                        GONZO                   (to WAITRESS)            Two glasses of ice water with ice.

The WAITRESS brings the ice water.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            She looked like a burnt out            caricature of Jane Russell.  She            was definitely in charge here...

GONZO gulps down his glass of water and hands her a napkin.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            He did it very casually, but I knew            that our peace was about to be            shattered.

                        SF!papyrus            What was that?

GONZO shrugs.

The WAITRESS stands at the end of the counter with her back to them while she ponders the napkin... She turns.

                        WAITRESS            What is this?

                        GONZO            A napkin.

THE WAITRESS slams the napkin down on the counter.

                        WAITRESS            Don't give me that bullshit!  I            know what it means!  You goddamn            fat pimp bastard.

                        GONZO            That's the name of a horse I used            to own.  What's wrong with you?

                        WAITRESS            You sonofabitch!  I take a lot of            shit in this place, but I sure as            hell don't have to take it off a            SPIC PIMP!

                                                         103.

GONZO GOES VERY VERY STILL AT THIS...

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Jesus.  I thought, what's happening?

SF!papyrus picks up the napkin.  On it is printed in careful red letters: "BACK DOOR BEAUTY?"

                        SF!papyrus (V/O CONT'D)            The question mark was emphasized.

                        WAITRESS                   (screams)            Pay your bill and get the hell out!            You want me to call the cops?

                        GONZO            Spic pimp?

GONZO's hand goes inside his shirt.  He PULLS OUT THE RAZOR- SHARP HUNTING KNIFE.

GONZO KEEPS HIS EYES ON THE WAITRESS.  He walks about six feet down the aisle and lifts the receiver of the pay phone. He SLICES IT OFF, then brings the receiver back to his stool and sits down.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            I was stupid with shock -- not            knowing whether to run or start            laughing.

                        GONZO                   (casual)            How much is the lemon meringue pie?

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            Her eyes were turgid with fear, but            her brain was functioning on some            basic motor survival level.

                        WAITRESS                   (blurting -- on automatic)            Thirty-five cents!

                        GONZO                   (laughing)            I mean the whole pie.

The WAITRESS MOANS.  GONZO places a $5 BILL on the counter.

                        GONZO            Let's say five dollars.  Okay?

                                                         104.

GONZO walks round the counter TAKING THE PIE OUT OF THE DISPLAY CASE.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            The sight of the blade had triggered            bad memories.  The glazed look in            her eyes said her throat had been            cut.  She was still in the grip of            paralysis when we left.

SF!papyrus IS ROOTED TO THE SPOT.

GONZO urges him out the door.  The camera retreats with them.

The WAITRESS STANDS THERE -- PETRIFIED.  Alone in a lousy bar at night.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SF!papyrus's face as he stares at the knife -- remembering...

                        GONZO (V/O)            Drive!  Drive!  Drive!  We have            fifteen fucking minutes to get me            on that plane!

EXT. ROAD ON OUTSKIRTS OF LAS VEGAS - DAY

The WHITE WHALE, looking like shit -- it's TOP HALF UP, TORN, SLAPPING IN THE WIND -- ROARS THROUGH AN INTERSECTION as the light turns red.

DR. GONZO FRANTICALLY PAWS OVER A MAP.

SF!papyrus drives -- SILENT AND FURIOUS -- sick to his stomach with the PSYCHOTIC GONZO.

                        GONZO            What are you doing?  You were            supposed to turn back there!

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            We had abused every rule that Vegas            lived by -- burning the locals,            abusing the tourists, terrifying            the help.  The only chance now, I            felt, was the possibility that we'd            gone to such excess that nobody in            the position to bring the hammer            down on us could possibility            believe it.

SF!papyrus suddenly SLAMS ON THE BRAKES.

                                                         105.

                        GONZO            Jesus Christ!!!

There, crossing the road in front of them, is LUCY -- her paintings under her arm -- looking lost.  SHE LOOKS UP WITH A VAGUE SENSE OF RECOGNITION...

SF!papyrus throws the car into a SKIDDING REVERSE TURN AND ROARS OFF.

EXT. DESERT ROAD OUTSIDE LAS VEGAS - DAY

THE WHITE WHALE TEARS DOWN THE DESERTED FREEWAY.  GONZO looks wildly around.

                        GONZO            Goddamnit!  We're lost!  What are            we doing out here on this            godforsaken road?

GONZO sees that THEY'RE RUNNING PARALLEL WITH THE AIRPORT RUNWAY.

                        GONZO            The airport is over there!

                        SF!papyrus            Never missed a plane yet.

SF!papyrus HITS THE BRAKES and wrenches the wheel -- takes the WHALE down into the grassy freeway divider.  WHEELS CHURNING, HE MAKES IT UP THE OPPOSITE BANK, nose of the car straight up, then BOUNCES ONTO THE FREEWAY and keeps going right OVER A FENCE, dragging it through a cactus field and onto the RUNWAY.

GONZO is FROZEN WITH FEAR -- GRIPPING THE DASHBOARD.  He throws a worried look at SF!papyrus.

                        SF!papyrus            I'll drop you right next to the            plane.

They SPEED UNDER A PARKED AIRPLANE, SHOUTING ABOVE THE JET ENGINE SCREAM.

                        GONZO            No!  I can't get out!  They'll            crucify me.  I'll have to take the            blame!

                                                         106.

                        SF!papyrus                   (irritatedly)            Ridiculous!  Just say you were            hitchhiking to the airport and I            picked you up.  You never saw me            before.  Shit, this town is full of            white Cadillac convertibles.  I            plan to go through there so fast            that nobody will even glimpse the            goddamn license plate.  You ready?

                        GONZO            Why not?  But for Christ's sake,            just do it fast!

EXT. AT THE AIRPLANE - DAY

SF!papyrus SCREECHES UP in front of the DESERT AIR 727.  GONZO JUMPS OUT -- HEADS FOR THE PLANE.

SF!papyrus watches him go -- RELENTS.

                        SF!papyrus            Hey!

GONZO stops -- turns.

                        SF!papyrus            Don't take any guff from those            swine.  Remember, if you have any            trouble you can always send a            telegram to the Right People.

                        GONZO            Yeah... Explaining my Position.            Some asshole wrote a poem about            that once...

GONZO pauses.

                        GONZO            Probably good advice, if you have            shit for brains.

GONZO turns and RACES TOWARDS THE STEPS JUST AS HE IS ABOUT TO ENTER THE PLANE HE PAUSES AND LOOKS BACK...SMILES...AND LEANS FORWARD AND VOMITS.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There he goes -- one of God's own            prototypes -- a high powered mutant            of some kind never even considered            for mass production.  Too weird to            live and too rare to die.

                                                         107.

SF!papyrus watches for a second then ROARS AWAY.  PULL BACK WITH THE WHITE SHARK -- LEAVING THE AIRPLANE FAR BEHIND.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE/APOCALYPSE - NIGHT

On the TV an airplane soars thru the sky.  Pull back to find SF!papyrus barricaded in GONZO'S BEDROOM.  He is typing on his typewriter.

                        SF!papyrus            We are all wired into a survival            trip now.  No more of the speed            that fueled that 60's.  That was            the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip.            He crashed around America selling            "consciousness expansion" without            ever giving a thought to the grim            meat-hook realities that were lying            in wait for all the people who took            him seriously...

SF!papyrus records like A WAR CORRESPONDENT.  The CAMERA slowly rises -- SF!papyrus alone in the room with the TV SPEWING OUT IMAGES OF WARS AND CIVIL UNREST OF THE 90'S.

                        SF!papyrus            All those pathetically eager acid            freaks who thought they could buy            Peace and Understanding for three            bucks a hit.  But their loss and            failure is ours too.  What Leary            took down with him was the central            illusion of a whole life-style that            he helped create...

RISING HIGHER -- THE WALLS OF THE ROOM APPEAR TO BY 20 TO 30 FEET HIGH.  SF!papyrus SEEMS TO BE AT THE BOTTOM OF A WELL... THE CAMERA RISES UP THROUGH BROKEN TIMBERS...

                        SF!papyrus            ... a generation of permanent            cripples, failed seekers, who never            understood the essential old-mystic            fallacy of the Acid Culture: the            desperate assumption that somebody...            or at least some force -- is            tending the light at the end of the            tunnel.

HIGHER STILL -- SF!papyrus ALONE IN THE ROOM -- AN ISOLATED BOX SURROUNDED BY THE TWISTED METAL AND RUBBLE AND SMASHED NEON SIGNS OF THE DEAD CITY -- A BLASTED LANDSCAPE WITHOUT LIGHT -- SHARDS OF A CIVILIZATION.

                                                         108.

EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - DAY

A BURNING FLARED-OUT SUN.  The camera pans down to SF!papyrus DRIVING THE WRECKED WHALE.  A piece of the fence flies out of the back seat as he takes a bump.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            There was only one road back to L.A.            US Interstate 15, just a flat-out            high speed burn through Baker and            Barstow and Berdoo, then on to the            Hollywood Freeway straight into            frantic oblivion: safety, obscurity,            just another freak in the Freak            Kingdom.

SF!papyrus sees THE HARDWARE BARN, A RUSTIC OLD FARM BUILDING facing the road with a single gas pump outside and a neon sign that flashes beer.

                        SF!papyrus            Ahhh.  Wonderful.

SF!papyrus PULLS OFF THE ROAD and parks.  Gets out and walks in.

INT. HARDWARE BARN - BAKER, CALIFORNIA - DAY

SF!papyrus enters the DARK, CLUTTERED INTERIOR.  Scattered all about the store are BITS OF AMERICANA... OLD BARRELS, WAGON WHEELS, WOODEN YOKES.  A STUFFED HORSE HANGS FROM THE RAFTERS.  The sunlight shafts through high windows.  AN OLD MAN is repairing an iron pot-bellied stove near the wooden bar.  A NORMAN ROCKWELL PAINTING... ONLY REAL.

                        PROPRIETOR            What'll you have?

SF!papyrus can't quite believe this place -- too good to be true.

                        SF!papyrus                   (doubtfully)            Ballantine Ale...?

THE PROPRIETOR serves the ale up ice cold.  SF!papyrus SMILES AND RELAXES.

                        SF!papyrus            Hard to find it served like this            anymore.

As he drinks, SF!papyrus toys with a rack of key chains -- LITTLE AMERICAN ICONS... A REMINGTON COWBOY, A BUGS BUNNY, A TWEETY PIE, BETTY BOOP, A BASEBALL PLAYER.  The logo on the rack reads: AMERICAN DREAM KEY RINGS.

                                                         109.

                        PROPRIETOR            Where ya comin' from, young man?

                        SF!papyrus            Las Vegas.

                        PROPRIETOR            A great town, that Vegas.  I bet            you had good luck there.  You're            the type.

                        SF!papyrus            I know.  I'm a triple Scorpio.

                        PROPRIETOR                   (trustingly)            That's a fine combination.  You            can't lose.

A LOVELY GIRL appears.  Seeing SF!papyrus, she smiles.  CAN THIS REALLY BE HIS LUCKY DAY?  She approaches him... and... KISSES THE PROPRIETOR.

                        SF!papyrus                   (caught off guard... muttering)            Oh, my God!...

                        PROPRIETOR                   (not understanding)            This is my granddaughter...

                        SF!papyrus                   (recovering)            Don't worry...                   (leans forward in confidence)            ... and I'm actually the District            Attorney from Ignoto County.                   (winks)            Just another good American like            yourself.

A MOMENT.  THE PROPRIETOR'S SMILE DISAPPEARS.

Wordlessly the PROPRIETOR and his GRANDDAUGHTER go to the back of the store -- GET ON WITH THEIR WORK -- IGNORING SF!papyrus.

WHO FEELS ASHAMED.

SF!papyrus puts some money down on the bar and SLOWLY LEAVES.

EXT. HARDWARE BARN - DAY

A CHASTENED SF!papyrus approaches the vomit streaked WHITE WHALE. Gets in -- sits there -- deflated -- miserable...

                                                         110.

A state bus draws up across from the Hardware Barn.

Somberly, SF!papyrus watches as TWO YOUNG MARINES with duffel bags step off -- chatting like TRUE BROTHERS...

SF!papyrus switches on the ignition.  Something rolls off the trembling dash... SF!papyrus catches it...

ONE SINGLE BEAUTIFUL AMYL CAPSULE...

SF!papyrus CRACKS THE AMYL -- INHALES.  THE RUSH MAKES HIM GASP -- TEETH BARED LIKE A MADMAN.

                        SF!papyrus            HOLY SHIT!!!

SF!papyrus GUNS THE ENGINE with a laugh -- leans out -- YELLS AT THE MARINES.

                        SF!papyrus            GOD'S MERCY ON YOU SWINE!

SF!papyrus ROARS AWAY.  AN AMERICAN FLAG FLIES UP FROM THE DEBRIS IN THE BACK SEAT, MADLY UNFURLING ITSELF AS IT SNAGS ON THE CONVERTIBLE-TOP FRAME OF THE TRASHED WHITE WHALE!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

The TWO MARINES look after him CONFUSED.

EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY

SF!papyrus drives fast -- TEETH GRITTED IN FROZEN ECSTASY!!

SF!papyrus CRANKS UP THE TAPE RECORDER.

                        SF!papyrus (V/O)            My heart was filled with joy.  I            felt like a monster reincarnation            of Horatio Alger... a man on the            move... and just sick enough to be            totally confident.

The WHITE WHALE WIPES THE SCREEN BLACK.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

                            END

[blogevangelinelove-blog]

A penalty had been awarded to them wide on the right

That not a small stretch of good baseball. It is almost a third of a season.After the mediocre (at best) first two thirds of the season, the strong finish wasn enough to rescue the Nats. It did show they were still as talented and capable as people expected.

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Liverpool Football Club played a Champions League knockout match for the first time in nine years on Wednesday night and boy did they show up to the party in style. The club has a magical relationship with Europe's elite domestic cup competitions having won old big ears five times, as if any of us forgot.

During those nine years the reds have had a poor European record despite the clubs long-time affiliation with winning cups on the continent, the only thing to show on any level is a Europa League Cup final defeat to Sevilla in 2017 when Liverpool surrendered a half time 1-0 lead to lose 3-1 in Basel. That was Jurgen Klopp's maiden season in Europe with Liverpool and he took no time in restoring the Merseyside clubs standing on the continent with eye catching displays against his former club Borrusia Dortmund, a quarter final against Manchester United and the semi-final win against Villareal en route to Switzerland.

Having guided Liverpool to fourth place in the Premier League in 2016/17, Klopp had engineered the return to Champions League football which the fans and club had craved. A debate still rolls on with people comparing Klopp's record to that of Brendan Rodgers with the suggestion being the club has not moved on since Rodgers was replaced by Klopp just 18 months after the Irishman almost won the league. This is where the European identity of the club must be brought into the debate when comparing the two managers time at Anfield. I can personally remember watching Liverpool in the Champions League and UEFA Cup in 2014/15 as Rodgers' Liverpool stuttered with 1 win, two draws and three defeats in the former. That year, Liverpool's first game was a 2-1 win against Ludogorets at Anfield, this was followed by a 1-0 defeat to Basel at St. Jakob-Park, next was a 3-0 hiding from Real Madrid on Merseyside with the Spanish giants winning the return fixture 1-0 at the Bernabau before drawing 2-2 away to Ludogorets and 1-1 against Basel at home leaving Liverpool 3rd place in the group group and falling into the Europa League. The displays from the team in 2014/15 seemed to be cagey at best, showing teams far too much respect it was as if the club was learning how to play in Europe for the first time ever, taking an approach to games you would expect to see from a club such as Ipswich, it was flat, dull and horrible to watch as the players played with fear of losing to teams like Ludogarets. One of my personal goals for the club after Jurgen Klopp took over was to see Liverpool restore some credibility and stature in Europe again after those painful displays under Rodgers and after this week's latest round of Klopp versus Rodgers rumblings I think it is the German who has the upper hand on this one and Wednesday night's demolition of Porto proved this to me. Liverpool are now the Champions League top scorers with 28 goals contributing to the 99 scored in all competitions by the in-form reds. Liverpool's latest champions League campaign began with a group stage qualifier in a 2-1 against Hoffenheim in Germany with Trent Alexander-Arnold's free kick sending Liverpool back on their way towards sealing qualification with the return leg at Anfield ending in a 4-2 win for Klopp's team. Next it was time for that theme song to return to Merseyside for some magic and Sevilla were travelled to the city which dares to dream. Liverpool drew 2-2 after leading 2-0 in that game with the next round confirming a slow start to the group stages for for team with a 1-1 draw away at Spartak Moscow. Liverpool found their free scoring touch in the next game at Maribor with a 7-0 win which included a first goal for new signing Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain as well as doubles for Roberto Firmino and Mohamed Salah as well as a strike for Philippe Coutinho, now at Barcelona. Back at Anfield, Maribor were more resolute as Liverpool won 3-0 before a 3-3 draw in Sevilla and another 7-0 win against Spartak Moscow at Anfield secured Liverpool's passage to the next round with Porto next to come.

Liverpool had not played a Champions League knock-out game in nine years, Porto was seen as a tricky tie with the in form Portuguese unbeaten in 21 games boasting a man defence and sturdy attack, Liverpool fans travelled in hope of some European Cup romance with many swapping a night with the Mrs. for the game, lacy underwear was abandoned for laced up boots, sexy football was the order of the day.

Liverpool carried out a Valentines day massacre of Porto with a stunning 5-0 win which sent a huge message to other teams in the competition turning out another stunning display of high-octane attacking football which is becoming customary for Klopp's team, and now more people can see the work the German is doing at Anfield. Is this European identity restored? I'd say it is. The performances of the team not only in this seasons Champions League, but also on the domestic front has earned acclaim from pundits throughout the year with the football being played drawing many admirers. If we compare the jobs of Jose Mourinho and Klopp at the times they took over they both had the task of restoring the image of the clubs they had taken over, both men had taken roles they knew had a global attention placed on every move they made, each game is huge. Klopp is restoring the club and giving the fans some of the most exciting football they have ever seen, this may be a reason Klopp will have less pressure on him to win trophies maybe but we are seeing improvement all the time, can the same be said about Manchester United under Jose? The "Special One" has been more like the "Stale One" this year with his team reflecting his personality by churning out dull displays which agitate the Old Trafford faithful more so than not. Yet Klopp had energised Liverpool, invigorated the fans and pundits as well as adding a style of play which is turning heads faster than Mohamed Salah's impulse drive towards his first 30 goals for the club.

Klopp has given Liverpool fans that magic which is attributed to the club on Champions League nights, both home and away, this is the spirit of Liverpool, this is what we missed under Rodgers on European nights. Brendan Rodgers is arguably the best British manager around at the moment and nobody will forget the season we "almost" won the league. The atmosphere, the fans lining the streets to welcome the team bus before games, the season was fantastic to look back on apart from some famous slip-ups which mean it goes down in history as a Manchester City league title. But one thing not many will remember, or, I have not heard many people mention when debating who is the better Liverpool manager between Klopp and Rodgers is, the European identity of our club.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); We have won it five times and after Wednesday night in Porto Liverpool F.C is now in the driving seat towards the quarter finals and then the magic begins to get ore intense, the atmosphere gets louder, the tingles get stronger as those hairs on our arms stand up more than ever. We are back in the business end of the Champions League and with all the teams left in it opting for a mainly attacking style of play it remains to be seen if they are walking int the lions den when facing Liverpool who are ready to pounce on any defence which leaves questions for our blistering forward line to answer. There is that feeling that builds when we watch Liverpool in the latter stages of the competition and it is about to go into overdrive during the next few weeks with the fans already wondering who we will play in the quarter finals ad the question will then be can we outscore who ever we play over two legs? Would you bet against us at the minute? And this is the reason I think Klopp is the better manager for our club. #LFC | #Klopp V #Rodgers #Debate - Klopp Restores European Identity After Rodgers Demise | Via #LFC Real Talk #Betfair New Customer Offers http://ads.betfair.com/redirect.aspx?pid=3027464&bid=8142 Visit Website https://lfcrealtalk.blogspot.co.uk/ Follow On #Twitter https://twitter.com/LFCRealTalk1 Subscribe On #YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiAc7A7mr1L841HRgaKuSWw

[customdissertationwritings-blog]

American history periods essay

Essay composition:\n\nThe impact of the Colonial date, the the Statesn revolution and the civilian state of warfare on the historical growth of the united States of the States.\n\nEssay Questions:\n\nWhat was the work of the Colonial the States level for the unit the Statesn bill? Did the the Statesn renewal conduce to the development of the Statess society? How did the well-be ca-cad struggle historic altogethery shape modern America?\n\nThesis story:\n\nFor green commonwealth matrimony America became that put in, that promising region they hoped to human body a happier future on.\n\n \nAmerican History periods rise\n\nTable of contents:\n\n1. penetration: Colonial America\n\n2. The American Revolution\n\n3. The Civil warfare\n\nIntroduction: Colonial America. The seventeenth one C was a lumbering magazine for the tidy sum of what was at once to be called the join States of America. It was the era of changes, the era of giving up e rattling occasion u p to start a better future in a better place. For thousand wad northwestern America became that place, that promising land they hoped to build a happier future on. It was these changes that wafted the palpate of progress to the slew belong to the colonial era. The primary determine of mess of the 17th century America was to manage to localize or in a nonher(prenominal) words to be pliant and strong enough to back their slump to be on the sweet land. The colonists consisted primarily of English, Dutch, Spanish, and french colonists and it was eastern northwestern America that became their new home. It was the era of non preventative failures on the way to a bright future and these invariable failures in the 17th century started to be constant colonies.\n\nThe study difficulty of the people belong to the Colonial Era was that they had diverse social and racial backgrounds, which created obstacles for purpose the points of contiguity. The era of the new instaurati on became the home for people of diverse color of cutis and made that learn how to acknowledge with individually other(a) and was the beginning(a)born step to what forthwith is proudly called to be the most decent kingdom in the cosmos. America is a republic of diversities nowadays owing to the fact that each colony back in the era of Colonial America had its own economical, political, religious, and social structure. The study difference of opinion of that era was this very specific contradiction of their colonies and their jam and at the alike significance the prosperity can be seen in the fact that it make the base for a untaught that accepted different people under its flag. It has truly mold Americans as a area giving them the nonion of the right for being different and the slighton how to keep an eye on other social, religious and economic ways of living. It was the era that by its four major colonies: immature England, the Middle Colonies, the Chesa peake Bay Colonies and the southern Colonies gave the start to the most aright dry land in the world owing to its flexibility and susceptibility to adapt; owing to the soma of life-styles and economical strategies. So the neat transmigration of the Europeans to North America delineated the m of changes that the subsisting world required. This people, who were brave enough to come along to an unknown lad make the stateal character of the Americans, as the journey to North America was from six to twelve weeks and legion(predicate) of the migrants died from numerous diseases and their food was scanty. The ships the travelled on, often experienced gales and storms and people disappeared in the open sea. Still, people were strong enough to keep up their fight for survival, forming what we call a real American nowadays.\n\n2. The American Revolution. The term American Revolution is known to every virtuoso American citizen and or incisively to a person who someways is acqua inted with Americans business relationship. Back in the time 18th century the existing colonies were under a cracking dependence on the British Empire, which controlled them and dictated their political and economic strategies. Years passed and the inconvertible changes take to come. These changes had a lot of political theory in them, as they were near with ideas of independency. The American Revolution was more(prenominal) than and the political legal separation of the thirteen colonies from Britain; it was the affirmation of a new nation and a new country the join States of America. So, all the changes in that historical are corresponded to the evaluates and the ideas of that time. For it was the time of the French and Indian state of war (1754-1763), American war of emancipation (1775-1783) and many other less significant rebels. The changes were well time for just as gutter Adams said: The revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people. It was a great fig ht for independence that resulted in the election of the eldest president of the newly form unite States of America, consisting of 13 ex-colonies.\n\nA very significant thing to add is that the Revolution did not just influence the tarradiddle of America it changed the history of the whole world. It was a transformation that created a qualitative new nation of survivors. The American Revolution was the driving push back force of the revolutions that took place all oer the world creating updated societies. So, the conflict of that time was going against the grade ways of living people had. They were dependent of far presidential terms that did not feel them but obviously gave directions. The prosperity was the replacement of these obtruding government by a in all new one and real by a completely new country.It is very elusive to underestimate the line up value of the American Revolution for every single American. It did not just simply effect the heathenish developmen t and the nation itself, for it was the mendicancy of the existance of the nation. Basically saying the American Revolution of the thirteen North American colonies against the British prescript was the key factor of the foundation garment of a new main(a) state the United States of America. It was lively by the preceding socio-economic history of the colonies. The development of capitalism in the colonies and the beginning of the formation of the north-American nation contradicted the metropolitan policy of the British Empire, which viewed the colonies as a cum of raw materials and as a market. The American Revolution with its war of Independence was a buttoned-down revolution, which lead to the dethronement of the colonial suppression and to the formation of the self-sufficient American state. And is also authorised the embargos of the British Empire halt restricting the development of exertion and trade in the colonies. It was a magnificent beginning of a new state!\n \n3. The Civil warfare. The Civil warfare took place on the territory of the United States of America in 1861-1865. It was the war between the bourgeois to the south and North. The southeastward states started a ascent against the North in military to perpetuate and spread the hard workerholding throughout the country. The United States call for changes for it was he time when a person was not considered to permit the right to humiliate another(prenominal)(prenominal) person and call another person a slave and their property. The North was ready fro those changes, but the South was a different story. As they needed a lot of working force for their plantations they were eager to forget slightly the humane motives and the moral development. The Civil War made a deep print in the memories of the American citizens because it was the fight against racial prejudice which sometimes windlessness continue all over the world as basic principle of the old times.\n\nThe reasons of th e Civil War are very ill-matched and controversial on the other hand. It was not just a war between both parts of the country it was the war against to completely different hierarchies indoors one single country. Those were dickens different social hierarchies of the north and the South. The South had the planters as a well-to-do class, which usually consisted of the posterity of aristocratic English families. The measureless tobacco, cotton, rice and sugar plantations of the South had the Negroes as slaves, who did not let any rights, to work on them.The Civil War expresses the set of equality of every temperament and the right of every citizen to have this right protected. The history of Afro-American population in the United States resulted in the fact that they were officially free in the North and a part of the menage in the South. The South was against Abraham capital of Nebraskas plan to stop slaveholding in the country. So the Civil War may be the war of twain motivations within the very same country. This war has definitely vie an integral role in the political life of the United States of America.\n\nConclusion: The Civil War with the two contradicting ideas of life-styles created prosperity for the country for it made the base for a society with equality in its base in the archetypal place. Another thing was that during the take to the woods of the Civil War the first mass regular army of a contemporary pillow slip was organized.Ass the result of the Civil was and with a cost of huge looses the accordance of the United States of America was rescue and the slavery was eliminated. The following economic ascent made America on of the most ecomonically-developed countries by the beginning of the XX century.The slavery was abolished on the 1st of January 1863 and pattern it was just the pray of the true war it was also the begging of a new strong nation. The contribution of the Civil War is immense as it was the serial publication of events that changes the course of history of the country and the nation.If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: Custom essay writing service. Free essay/order revisions. Essays of any complexity! Courseworks, term papers, research papers. 100% confidential!Homework live help. Custom Essay Order is available 24/7!