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santanasaintmendes · 4 months ago

Text

make tacos, not war

part4! to the cosmic girl records

¡cosmic girl records!

summary: tacos, tequila, beaches, the mexican grand prix, beefing with charles and getting roasted by the grid, anything else?

olliebearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader

fc!: gorgeous girls on pinterest all credits go to their rightful owners!

disclaimer!: there are sensitive and offensive jokes used below so do not interact if you are not ok with those things! If there is anything that i have included that is seriously inappropriate and harmful to people contact me and let me know so i can do my best to make sure everyone is happy!

a/n: AHHHHHHH! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported the ¡cosmic girl records! so far it seriously makes my day to see all the likes and reblogs.

warnings!: talking about addiction to alcohol (the 2019 rookies call y/n an alcoholic), joking about death, y/n calls checo mr taco man, swearing, offensive jokes, british slander i’m sorry 😞, stealing of best friends, the knife emoji?

word count!: 1.6k

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, georgerussell64 and 4,472,382 others

unfortunatelyy/n: siesta, fiesta, tequila and repeat!

tagged olliebearman

view 23,392 comments

bestie1: while i rot away in my pj’s watching friends smh 😔

unfortunatelyy/n: I LITERALLY ASKED IF U WANTED TO COME TOO????

bestie1: oh yeah

user1: SHE’S SO PRETTY TF??

user2: the third pic 😍

user3: the first pic 😍

user4: the second pic 😍

olliebearman: the first pic: moments before disaster

unfortunatelyy/n: don’t expose me like that???

user9: hittin’ the man with the triple question mark, shit’s about to get real

olliebearman: she fell into the water.

unfortunatelyy/n: OPEN THE DOOR

user12: GIRL WHAT

olliebearman: NO STOP TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE FRONT DOOR YOU PSYCHO

unfortunatelyy/n: that’s fine. your windows open

olliebearman: WHAT

user5: is he still alive

user6: he may be dead i fear

unfortunatelyy/n: update: oliver james bearman is no longer a problem in today’s society 😄

landonorris: damn hittin him with the full government name is cold

unfortunatelyy/n: shut up what do you know

landonorris: more than you that’s for sure

unfortunatelyy/n: WHY CAN’T U JUST LEAVE ME IN PEACE

landonorris: if i remember correctly, YOU were the one who wanted to be friends

unfortunatelyy/n: I WAS 5. i was young, dumb and foolish, i didn’t know what i wanted 😔

landonorris: @georgerussell64 @alex_albon

georgerussell64: hmm, i smell a liar

unfortunatelyy/n: tf u sniffing around for mf

alex_albon: damn so aggressive

unfortunatelyy/n: shut up your girlfriend’s cheating on you with me

| alex_albon: 🥲

user7: alex’s smiling through the pain fr

user8: the 2019 rookie’s goal this year: make y/n suffer

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

schecoperez: i approve, nice photos

unfortunatelyy/n: thank you mr taco man

user9: MR TACO MAN HELP

user10: okay now i’m convinced they’re besties

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user11: I could use a glass of tequila right about now

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, georgerussell64, alexandrasaintmleux and 6,382,493 others

unfortunatelyy/n: tequila, tamales, a boy, what more could a girl want?

tagged olliebearman

view 93,392 comments

user1: did ollie so dirty in the third pic 😭

user2: that’s what happens when u cross y/n 😭

olliebearman: i take it you’re still mad at me?

unfortunatelyy/n: yes ❤️🔪

user7: NOT THE KNIFE EMOJI

carlossainz55: remind me again to never offend you in any way

unfortunatelyy/n: @olliebearman watch and learn

olliebearman: ok 😔

landonorris: yeah ollie 😒

olliebearman: why are you attacking me too 😭

landonorris: idk it’s fun

olliebearman: wow.

user3: we love savage y/n, may she reign forever

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

landonorris: y/n confirmed alcoholic

georgerussell64: y/n confirmed clown

alex_albon: y/n confirmed delusional girl

charles_leclerc: y/n confirmed idiot

user8: damn 😭

unfortunatelyy/n: DAMN WHAT DID I DO TO YA’LL

charles_leclerc: live.

alex_albon: steal my girlfriend.

georgerussell64: take my phone charger WITHOUT my permission

landonorris: @charles_leclerc what he said

unfortunatelyy/n: . . . I-

landonorris: absolutely speechless, completely baffled, rendered loquacious

user5: i didn’t realise lando had that many words in his vocabulary

georgerussell64: okay pop off shakespeare i see u 👀

unfortunatelyy/n: I HATE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY YOU @charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: it’s okay we all hate you too!

| unfortunatelyy/n: i don’t usually swear but you charles marc herve percival leclerc are one little shit

charles_leclerc: DIE.

user6: oof his ego took a hit with the full name

unfortunatelyy/n: after you, ladies first 😌

charles_leclerc: @olliebearman come and get your girlfriend she’s escaped her cage

unfortunatelyy/n: HEY THAT’S NOT FAIR @alexandrasaintmleux I’M ABOUT TO MURDER YOUR BOYFRIEND COME AND GET HIM BEFORE I DO

user4: HELP GUYS THE KIDS ARE FIGHTING

olliebearman: @alexandrasaintmleux gf/bf duty calls 😔

alexandrasaintmleux: 😔

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, lewishamilton, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt and 3,382,382 others

unfortunatelyy/n: ready for this weekend!

tagged olliebearman

view 18,372 comments

olliebearman: thank you for the nice photos this time 🥰

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

unfortunatelyy/n: you’re welcome peasant

olliebearman: i can never win around here

user3: poor ollie 😔

user4: THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE IS KILLING ME

user1: guys we’ve officially lost her to ferrari 😔

landonorris: traitor.

unfortunatelyy/n: excuse me child

landonorris: don’t play dumb, you abandoned mclaren and here i was thinking we were best friends

unfortunatelyy/n: WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME IN MY OWN INSTA COMMENTS FACE ME LIKE A MAN

landonorris: don’t change the subject

user2: bro took a hit on his ego with that one

landonorris: i’m calling in the reinforcements @charles_leclerc @georgerussell64 @alex_albon

unfortunatelyy/n: STOP 🛑✋

georgerussell64: she can’t even admit it

alex_albon: shame on you

charles_leclerc: why’d u call me i literally drive for ferrari

landonorris: cuz u roast her the best

unfortunatelyy/n: u guys suck

charles_leclerc: he’s not wrong

unfortunatelyy/n: I HATE YOU

charles_leclerc: the feeling is mutual

landonorris: you not only betrayed me but the other idiots too

alex_albon: i speak for all williams fans when i say FOR SHAME

georgerussell64: FOR SHAMEEEEEE

lilymhe: 🤨 whatchu hatin on my wifey for @alex_albon @georgerussell64

carmenmmundt: yeah? 🤨

alex_albon: @georgerussell64 help what do we do

georgerussell64: if anyone asks, i’ve left the country.

user5: GEORGE HELP

alex_albon: how could you abandon me like that

user6: such a fake friend fr

liked by landonorris, olliebearman, oscarpiastri, georgerussell64, alex_albon, lilymhe and 6,829,200 others

unfortunatelyy/n: cheat meal!

tagged olliebearman

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user1: she’s never beating the alcoholic allegations im afraid 😔

user2: WHY DOES THE FOOD LOOK SO GOOD, I’M BOOKING A FLIGHT TO MEXICO RN

user3: get zambrero?

user2: STFU IT’S NOT THE SAME

landonorris: caught in 4k 📸

olliebearman: @unfortunatelyy/n YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO POST IT ON YOUR INSTA

unfortunatelyy/n: darling, every photo i take is for my insta

user4: oo that gave me the chills “darling”

user5: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER OLLIE SHE’S BRITISH NOW

user6: y/n now: 🤓🇬🇧

ferrari: @olliebearman pick up the phone

olliebearman: NO.

user7: RUN OLLIE RUNNNN

user8: god bless y/n for these photos may she reign forever 🙏

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user9: smh, guys we’ve lost y/n to the tequila, only god can help her now

user10: get yourself someone who looks at you the way ollie looks at that bowl of food

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

georgerussell64: why would you expose ollie like that, let my guy have his cheat meal without the entire internet coming after him

unfortunatelyy/n: woah what happened to you

georgerussell64: im afraid to ask what you mean

unfortunatelyy/n: who knew george russell would vouch for MY BOYFRIEND

georgerussell64: well it’s better than pushing him into the barriers every weekend

olliebearman 😰

user11: i have an odd itching feeling that the 2019 rookies still hate ollie for dating their younger sister

user12: ya think

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, francisca.cgomes and 5,382,493 others

unfortunatelyy/n: i cant. it’s race day.

view 38,492 comments

landonorris: wow. exposing me like that. i hope u die alone

unfortunatelyy/n: doing it for the plot 🤷‍♀️

user7: AMEN SISTER 🙏🗣️

user1: poor lando, what was the tea tho 👀

user7: y/n’s got her priorities set straight

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user2: SPILL THE TEA LANDOOOOOOO

carlossainz55: what is tea

olliebearman: it’s a drink??

olliebearman: oh.

unfortunatelyy/n: it’s okay i still love you

olliebearman: ok 😔

charles_leclerc: SPILL THE TEA Y/N 🗣️

carlossainz55: 🗣️🗣️

maxvertappen1: 🗣️🗣️🗣️

georgerussell64: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

schecoperez: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

landonorris: IF YOU TELL THEM YOU DIE

unfortunatelyy/n: threatening me in my own comments, who do u think you are? |

landonorris: . . . your best friend . . . ?

unfortunatelyy/n: nah, oscar’s my best friend now

landonorris: @oscarpiastri ?

| oscarpiastri: @unfortunatelyy/n: YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM

unfortunatelyy/n: whoops 🫢

| landonorris: i see how it is 😔

user4: still waiting to know what the tea is

landonorris: YOU’LL NEVER KNOW

| unfortunatelyy/n: hm, we’ll see 👀

landonorris:😰

user5: oscar and y/n best friends confirmed 👍

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user6: the y/n i know would spill the tea 👀

unfortunatelyy/n: 👀

user6: HELP Y/N

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and 8,382,859 others

unfortunatelyy/n: love you to the moon and back a million times, always and forever, congratulations my love 🐻❤️

olliebearman: love you to the moon and back 🌙💞

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user1: LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK? MY LOVE??? ARE U KIDDING ME 😭😭

user2: it’s the onions. it’s the onions. it’s the onions

user3: im not crying you are

user4: homeboy’s turning 1

user5: i can’t wait for lando to pop up in the comments it’s like whenever y/n posts he’s summoned or sum shit like that

user6: ah yes, young love

user8: OMG I’M CRYINGGGG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

landonorris: @olliebearman u know, orange would look better on you, there’s a free seat available here at mclaren 👀

oscarpiastri: i thought you said we were okay

user9: why do they sound like an old couple tf 😭😭

landonorris: i say a lot of things i don’t mean, traitor 😤

oscarpiastri: you’re acting like a child

landonorris: no you are!

oscarpiastri: says the guy who just used an exclamation mark in an insta comment

landonorris: its official. i’m going to dive bomb you off the track next week

oscarpiastri: what? after your DNF? cuz i don’t think that’s possible

user8: DAYUM

| unfortunatelyy/n: ooooooh he got u there @landonorris

landonorris: I HATE YOU, YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND

unfortunatelyy/n: i can’t have stolen him if he was my friend first

landonorris: wHaT.

oscarpiastri: ah yes, the magic of childhood friends

user7: HELP WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT

landonorris: but she’s american and you’re australian. . . right?

unfortunatelyy/n: mhm sure

olliebearman: 😦

landonorris: 😦

taglist time!: @ilivbullyingjeongin

a/n: thank you for reading if you got to the end! I hope it made you laugh, have a great day xx

236 notes · View notes

heyiwrotesomethings · 1 year ago

Note

Okay, I think my request is weird? I don't know haha. It's my first time doing this😔

The other day I imagined a reader being a demon who saved a little girl from her own abusive family and the reader tries to find a home for the little girl, but she couldn't, so she ends up adopting her.

But, after some time, Shinobu Kocho finds the demon and, of course, tries to kill attack the reader, but the reader doesn't attack back. Anyway, when she was going to kill the demon, the little girl stopped her. Shinobu didn't understand what was going on.

Anyway, when Shinobu understands what kind of relationship the demon has with the kid, she decides to protect them (with the excuse of protecting the kid, actually, because she didn't trust the demon at all) and eventually falls in love with the demon.

Sorry, first time doing this haha! I love your writing!

A Home

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Demon Reader

A/N: Not a weird request, it was cute! Sorry for the lack of updates y’all, idk what’s wrong with me. I just don’t have the energy. Here’s one thing at least. Sorry if it seems too jumpy/fast between breaks, it was getting longer than what I’d prefer to do these days. Hope you enjoy, thanks for reading, and thank you all for being patient with me! Word Count: ~4,750

“That’s right, Sachiko, go on.” (Y/n) ushered the young child towards the lantern lit house. “Go knock on the door.”

The little girl took a few cautious steps further along the path to the house before looking back at (Y/n), unsure.

“You can do it, they’re nice people. You’ll be happy here.” She continued to coach her from the bushes.

This pattern continued a couple more times until the little girl made it to the front door.

“Good job, sweetheart! Now just knock on the door like we practiced…”

Sachiko looked at (Y/n) over her shoulder, her eyes were big and her bottom lip wobbled.

“Go on…” (Y/n) nodded, smiling reassuringly.

Finally Sachiko knocked timidly on the door, patchy blanket clutched against her little body, and (Y/n) released a sigh of relief when her sharp ears picked up on a stirring within the house.

“Onee-san?” Sachiko’s voice quivered stepping away from the door when she saw (Y/n) slinking back into the woods.

“It’s time to part ways, you’ll be happy and well taken care of here.” (Y/n) could hear a familiar hitch in Sachiko’s breathing, hear her little girl’s heart speed up fearfully, and that could only mean one thing… “No, nonono, no tears sweetheart, please? Not again.”

But it was too late, Sachiko started sobbing. (Y/n) tried her best to comfort her from afar while also attempting to direct her back to the house.

“What’s going on out here?” A concerned man slid the door open fast, making a loud clacking noise that only made Sachiko cry louder, running away from the man and in the direction of the woods, the direction of (Y/n).

“Who is it dear?” The man’s wife joined him at the door, lantern in hand. She aimed the lantern’s light into the woods and caught sight of the little girl running right into the arms of what appeared to her to be a monster. A humanoid beast with curved horns and sharp teeth, reflective, piercing eyes.

The woman shrieked, flinging the lantern away and grabbing her husband by the collar, practically dragging him back into the house, slamming the door shut. (Y/n) could hear the sound of heavy furniture dragging across the floor inside and she sighed deeply.

“Alright, alright… come here.” She picked up the sobbing girl, tears and snot immediately staining her neck and shoulder, little fingers clutching her for dear life.

“You were gonna try and leave me again!” Sachiko wailed as (Y/n) carried her through the forest.

“It’s for your own good, Sachiko. I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”

“No!”

(Y/n) sighed again. This had been her seventh attempt at re-homing Sachiko since she rescued the little girl from her abusive home. It was no easy task vetting out potential families looking as fearsome as she did. One would think the little girl would leap at the chance of a normal, loving family, but no, she always came running back to the demon each time.

“It’s not safe for you to be with me, Sachiko. Don’t you want the certainty of a roof over your head, food, medicine… to be able to play with other kids on a sunny day?” (Y/n) beseeched the girl each time to see reason, but each time, Sachiko refused.

“I like sleeping outside with you. You gave me a name and you give me lots of food and hugs and you scare all the bad things away. You’re all I need, Onee-san.”

(Y/n)’s heart clenched an the sweet sentiment, but this was no environment for a child to grow up in. She’d have to search for another viable family and try again, but for now, she would need to find a yet another suitable place for Sachiko to sleep and for her to avoid the morning sun.

“Besides, medicine is icky!” Sachiko grumbled.

An exhausted chuckle left (Y/n)’s lips and they carried on, eventually finding a cave. (Y/n) scoped it out for any dangerous creatures before bringing Sachiko inside. She then used the remaining darkness to gather a bunch of leaves, sticks and even a few fish from the stream.

She made a little bed from the leaves topped with the raggedy blanket she had snatched for Sachiko a couple months ago. It had been brand new at the time, but between the weather and the traveling, it had seen better days. Sachiko adamantly refused (Y/n)’s attempts to get her a new one, however.

(Y/n) then made a little fire, cooking the fish over the flames. After awhile, she carefully inspected one, gently fanning it to cool it off before handing it off to Sachiko.

“Careful, it’s still a little hot.”

“Yummy, fish again!”

(Y/n) felt a bolt of shame strike through her body despite Sachiko’s genuine excitement.

“We’ll be in the city in a couple of days and I’ll get you all kinds of good food, alright?”

“Onee-san is gonna steal again.” Sachiko more so stating a fact than asking a question. She took another bite of the crispy fish.

“N-no! Stealing is bad! What I’m doing is just… really long-term borrowing! Yeah!”

“Oh, okay.” Sachiko said, not at all bothered.

(Y/n) felt awful for lying, but she was trying her best to instill good values in the poor girl whilst also keeping her alive. It wasn’t like she had money, and she certainly wasn’t going to be getting any job offers looking the way that she did. Stealing was the only viable option.

When Sachiko finished her fish, she curled up on her leafy bed and (Y/n) tucked her within the raggedy blanket. The demon recited a little bedtime story that she had made up. It was one of Sachiko’s favorites. Before she could finish, the little girl fell asleep and (Y/n) spent most of the day that followed watching over her, making sure she didn’t seem too cold or uncomfortable.

***

“Yes… Yes! everything I need is right here.” The demon whispered to herself over her bag of stolen goods. They had been caught in an unexpected rain a few nights ago and Sachiko had gotten sick. (Y/n) had fretted over whether or not she could leave the little girl alone or not, but the fever Sachiko had was growing more concerning by the hour, so the demon finally decided to slip out of the cave one night as the little girl slept fitfully. She covered the cave’s entrance and left for the nearest village as fast as she could and broke into a general store.

She filled a bag to the brim with medicines, foods and drinks and slunk back out of the dark store’s open window and ran off into the night as quick as her feet could carry her.

“Almost there, hang on just a little longer.”

She ran, unaware of her pursuer sailing through the trees above until—

A foot was planted squarely between her shoulder blades, the force causing her to tumble to the ground, her bag of stolen goods scattered across the forest floor in front of her. She tried to scrambled to her knees to start shoveling everything back into the canvas bag, but the foot between her shoulders doubled down its force and another foot planted itself squarely on her lower back.

“I thought I sensed a demon in the area.” A pleasant sounding voice stated from above. “But what is all this here now?”

Shinobu’s eyes scanned the array of items splayed over the ground and felt an extra tick of annoyance rise within her. If she wasn’t already putting all of her body weight on the demon, she’d add a bit more pressure.

“Food, water, medicine… what could a demon possibly need such things for? You creatures always manage to find new ways to surprise me. It’s not enough to slaughter humans, must you also feel the need to waste perfectly good food and medication?”

(Y/n) tilted her head to the side, breath hitching when when she saw the point of a blade resting dangerously close to her eye. Above her, backlit by the moon, she saw a woman wearing a seemingly neutral smile, though (Y/n) could sense the terrifying aura she gave off. Then she caught sight of the gold buttons, the durable dark clothing she wore, white collar and welt pocket. She imagined if she could check, she would also see that the kanji for ‘extermination’ would be written upon the back of the woman’s uniform. (Y/n) had done well to avoid demon slayers until now and as her luck would have it, she had been found by a Hashira of all people.

“No, wait,” (Y/n) pleaded. “There is somewhere I have to be. There is a little girl who desperately needs that medicine. If you would let me show you—”

“Oh, one of those demons, are you?” Shinobu interrupted. “I always find the demons who toy with peoples’ lives for longer than necessary to be the most detestable. But I’m feeling surprisingly generous tonight, so if you tell me where this little girl is, I’ll use one of my more ‘gentle’ poisons on you.”

“She’s in a cave not too far from here, maybe half a kilometer at most, eastward, by the stream. I covered the entrance with woven sticks and leaves.” (Y/n) shared, voice shaking, “Please just… just make sure she’s well taken care of.” She closed her eyes tight. Was this really it? It was all happening so fast.

“Thank you for being so forthcoming, how admirable.” Shinobu praised, thought it did not feel sincere to (Y/n) in the slightest. “Now, to ensure you aren’t lying, I’ll be poisoning you within an inch of your life. If I do find this girl you speak of, then I shall make my swift return to finish you off, alright?”

(Y/n) took in a shaky breath, shutting her eyes tightly as she waited for the strike. She prayed Sachiko would not see whatever may be left of her after this…

With a fanciful flourish of her sword, Shinobu took aim at the back of the demon’s neck and—

“Onee-san!”

A shrill voice wailed, freezing Shinobu’s very blood in her veins, causing her to hesitate. The hesitation giving Sachiko enough time to half run, half stumble over to the scene and cover the back of (Y/n)’s head and neck with her whole body.

Defiant, teary eyes glared up at Shinobu as if she were the root of all evil.

“Stop bullying my Onee-san!” Sachiko punched Shinobu in the knee with enough force to make Shinobu at least wince and take one foot off of (Y/n)’s back. “You mean old ugly hag!”

Shinobu blinked, her neutral smile twitched ever so slightly.

“Sachiko!” (Y/n) gasped, forgetting all about her pending execution, “You can’t say things like that!”

“I don’t care!” Sachiko wailed, “She’s—“ Sachiko broke into an awful coughing fit.

“Sachiko!” (Y/n) tried to get up on impulse.

“Don’t move, or you won’t live another second.” Shinobu warned the demon before putting her attention back on the little girl, her other foot finally leaving (Y/n)’s back. “Come here, let me see you.”

“No!” Sachiko refused, still kneeling protectively over (Y/n).

“Listen here, little one. I don’t know what this demon has told you, but you are not safe with her.”

“Uh uh! If I didn’t meet Onee-san, I’d still be getting hits and rumbly tummies and bad sleeps! —Hey!”

Shinobu put the back of her hand on Sachiko’s forehead, more focused on checking the girl over than listening to her rebuttals.

“You’re burning up.” She murmured with concern, the she turned a glare onto (Y/n). “These cheap remedies aren’t going to do her any good. She needs a doctor, fortunately I am more than qualified. Come little one,” Shinobu opened her arms to pick Sachiko up, putting on her best motherly smile, “I’ll take you to my home and make you feel much better.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you! No touch!”

“Just— ah!”

Sachiko bit Shinobu’s hand and the Hashira held her indented palm to her chest, a string of expletives griping the edge of her tongue for dear life.

“Enough! That’s enough foolishness!” Shinobu nearly hissed once she had recovered enough of her mask to not cuss out a child. “Demon, stand. Now.”

(Y/n) found it in her best interest to quickly clamber to her feet, but not so quickly as to earn cause for impalement.

“Obviously the child’s life comes first. I will do everything I can to save her, and if that means working with you, then so be it. Carry her and follow me. Just remember that I’m much faster than you. Try anything, move one toe out of line, and you’re done, understand?”

“Yes, ma’am!” (Y/n) squeaked. “Come here, sweetheart.” She picked up Sachiko and the girl squirmed in her arms.

“No! We can’t go! Stranger danger, Onee-san! You said never go somewhere with a stranger!”

“Yes, but—“

“Kochou Shinobu.” The Hashira introduced herself. “And I’ve gathered your name is Sachiko, correct? We are strangers no more.”

“Shinobu… bu… boo! Boo!” Sachiko jeered.

“I’m sorry.�� (Y/n) apologized to Shinobu in a strained whisper.

“Just start moving.”

(Y/n) looked back at the toppled bag of goods, “What about—“

“Time is of the essence. Keep up.”

And so the demon ran beside the Hashira, both focusing on the same goal.

***

They were cutting it very close, making it to the Butterfly Estate just before dawn. Sachiko had passed out in (Y/n)’s arms along the way so no fuss was made when (Y/n) was made to hand her over to Shinobu.

(Y/n) was then sequestered to a room in the furthest corner of the the estate by another butterfly girl with a white cloak. Another demon slayer to make sure she didn’t step out of line while Shinobu was tending to Sachiko, (Y/n) would have to guess. Only guess because her attempts to create small talk with the girl were met with silence.

A few hours past before Shinobu decided to come to the room with an update and (Y/n) had to stop herself from running up to her, grabbing her by the arms, and begging for all of the details.

“Her fever broke and she’s stable. She’ll be fine as long as she rests.”

“Oh,” (Y/n) put a hand on her chest, unshed tears shinning in her eyes, “thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done without your help. I’m so glad you found us.”

“That would be the first time a demon has ever said that to me.” Shinobu said, seemingly unmoved by (Y/n)’s emotional display.

“Can I see her?”

“Absolutely not.” Shinobu shook her head. “We have a lot to discuss, you and I.”

The combined intense stares of Shinobu and Kanao made (Y/n) shudder involuntarily.

Oh Sachiko, I have found a safe haven, a home, for you, but for me, these are quite dire straits…

***

After hours of intensive questioning, Shinobu was finally interrupted by Aoi knocking on the door. Kanao let her in and the exasperation on the girl’s face was visible to all.

“Our new arrival is awake and currently screaming her lungs out. We’re doing everything we can just short of sedating her, Shinobu-sama, but she won’t calm unless her demands are met.”

“She wants to see the demon, I presume.” Shinobu sighed, giving (Y/n) a sideways glance.

“Yes, but she’s also screaming about a blanket.”

“Oh dear,” (Y/n) pressed her hand to her cheek, “I completely forgot about it in the heat of the moment! It’s still in that cave!”

“Supply her with a new one please, Aoi.” Shinobu asked.

“Believe me, we tried, Shinobu-sama, but she tossed all the options we provided her with aside. She won’t accept a new one.”

“That girl…” Shinobu sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I can go retrieve the blanket.” (Y/n) offered. “I think I could find my way back.”

“Do you honestly believe I would go along with that?”

“You could come with me if you think I’ll run off. Trust me, you’ll want that blanket. I have tried to replace it numerous times, but her persistence and lung capacity is stronger than my will.”

Shinobu stood silent for a moment before sighing quietly. “Very well then…“

***

Once night fell again, Shinobu and (Y/n) set off, (Y/n) still had not been allowed to see Sachiko, they could still hear the girl’s wails as they left the estate.

“If you would have just let her see me, I’m sure she would have calmed down a little…”

Shinobu ignored her and forged onward. Her pride was actually a bit bruised from this whole ordeal. Kids loved her. They flocked to her for comfort. The irony of this single child not only despising her, but also desperately wanting the comfort of a demon, was not the least bit lost on her, and she was not at all happy about it. This has to be some kind of demon art, right? But if that was true, then surely the demon would have tried to pull the same tricks with her, even going as far as to sever whatever hold she had over the child to switch for Shinobu if such a power could only work on one person at a time.

Shinobu pondered deeply until they made it to the cave, (Y/n)’s ‘aha!’ of triumph breaking her out of her thoughts.

“I found it, thank goodness. Gods… it could sure use a wash though.”

Shinobu couldn’t help but agree.

“It looks like it’ll fall apart if washed, however.”

“Yeah…” (Y/n) walked over to a nearby stream and placed the ragged blanket in the water. She then began gently massaging little circles with her knuckles, removing the dirt as carefully as she could. “It just needs a gentle wash. Takes some extra time, but it’ll help keep it from getting worse at least. If only I could sew, but these stupid claws get in the way…” she sighed.

Shinobu watched (Y/n) carefully scrub the dirt from the blanket, finding the contrast between her almost ferocious appearance and her gentle hands bizarre. Why would a demon put so much care into preserving a worn, threadbare blanket for a child?

Shinobu exhales softly through her nose and kneels beside the demon, exhaling quietly when she sees her jump.

“Settle down, you’re fine.” Shinobu took an opposite corner of the blanket and copied (Y/n)’s movements. “Aoi should be able to mend it. It’ll be a patch-job, sure, but at least it’ll hold it all together.”

“That would be wonderful… you don’t need to help me with this if you don’t want to. The water is pretty cold.”

“It’s fine, besides, the sooner this is done, the sooner I can go home and the sooner I can give everyone’s poor ears a break.”

“Right…” (Y/n) gave an awkward chuckle, “Sorry about that. She never really was allowed to have any feelings before so I have a hard time trying to discipline her for bad behavior. She was so timid, I didn’t want to scare her when she was just finally starting to have her own voice, you know?”

Oh, Shinobu could relate to that. When Kanao ran off to Final Selection without telling anyone, Shinobu was beside herself. When Kanao came back safe, she wanted to give her a piece of her mind, but she was also so proud that Kanao had made that choice on her own, that she didn’t really know what to say to the girl.

They finished cleaning the blanket and (Y/n) carried the sopping fabric back to the mansion where occasional wails could still be heard.

“I guess you should take it from here…” (Y/n) said once they were reunited with Kanao, who had taken up sporting a couple of pink ear plugs in their absence.

“No,” Shinobu sighed, “You should come in. Giving her the blanket will only take care of half of the problem. She’s been asking about you nonstop.”

“Really, I can see her? Thank you so much—!”

Shinobu grabbed (Y/n) by a horn and lowered her to her level so they were eye to eye.

“But don’t think that I won’t be watching you very carefully, alright?”

“Uh, uh-huh, yes, I completely understand.” (Y/n) nodded awkwardly with her horn still in Shinobu’s grip. After a moment of studious silence, Shinobu let go and allowed (Y/n) to follow her into the room and almost immediately, Sachiko’s wailing stopped… only to be renewed when she realized that both (Y/n) and her special blanket were okay.

She leapt out of the bed despite various protests and jumped into (Y/n)’s arms.

“Onee-san! I thought you were gone forever!” Sachiko blubbered.

“There there…” (Y/n) tried to shush her, “You need to rest, Sachiko.”

“No! What if when I close my eyes, that mean hag takes you away again?”

“Sachiko…” (Y/n) warned, her eyes flickered to Shinobu in an apologetic manner.

“I won’t be taking her away from you again as long as she behaves herself.” Shinobu chimed in. It was time to start trying to burry the hatchet. Yet make no mistake, at the moment she felt even a twinge of danger from the demon, this tentative peace would be over. She crouched down in front of Sachiko and presented her pinky to her. “You have my word.”

“A pinky promise!” Sachiko gasped, almost looking at Shinobu in a new light. “The hag knows about pinky promises!”

Shinobu’s eye twitched subtly, “Yes… so you understand this is a serious promise I am making.”

“Sachiko,” (Y/n) piped up, “In return, I want you to promise Kocho-san that you will be a polite houseguest. That means no name calling and no screaming when you don’t get your way, understand?”

“But…”

“No buts, it’s time to make up. You have to remember that I’m a scary monster so it only makes sense that Kocho-san would act the way she did.”

Shinobu almost wanted to refute that point. She hardly found (Y/n) scary at all. However, she just wanted to focus on sealing this deal and finally, finally get to go to sleep.

“Okay… fine.” Sachiko pouted, looking Shinobu in the eye again before she hooked their pinkies together, sealing their promises.

***

How could a demon be so sweet and gentle? Shinobu wondered to herself for not the first time since Sachiko and by extension, (Y/n), joined the mansion’s residents several months ago.

Shinobu watched from the herb garden as Sachiko ran back to the shaded engawa, her hands full of dandelions. Sachiko deposited one handful into (Y/n)’s lap, the other on the floor in front of her. Shinobu wondered what they would make, crowns, rings, bracelets, all fair game.

She felt her cheeks warm, not from the gentle sun shining down from above, but from seeing (Y/n)’s fanged smile as she oh so slowly and patiently showed Sachiko how to tie the stems into knots for probably hundredth time since the little yellow weeds began popping up earlier that spring.

Oh to hell with it, weeding the garden could wait. Shinobu surely earned a little break, right? Sachiko already took care of most of it anyway with her dandelion picking. It was a wonder that she managed to find any at all since it seemed that she was always picking them as soon as they would pop up.

“Hello, Kocho-san.” (Y/n) aimed that sweet, fanged smile at her and she felt her knees go a little weak. “We aren’t disturbing your gardening, are we?”

“Not at all, and please, (Y/n), I told you to call me Shinobu, remember?”

“Right, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Just relax.” Shinobu teased, bumping (Y/n)’s shoulder with her own as they sat side by side. The simple contact made both of their hearts flutter.

“Look what I made!” Sachiko presented Shinobu with a patch of woven dandelions. “I’m gonna give this to Nezuko. It’s a little pillow.”

“That’s very thoughtful, Sachiko.” Shinobu praised, though it was certainly too small a pillow for even Nezuko to use effectivley.

She was fortunate and thankful that Sachiko had forgiven her for their rough beginnings. It took time to really earn her trust and respect, but once Sachiko started feeling comfortable, it was all water under the bridge. Though there were times when she could still be wary of Shinobu’s intentions with her adoptive demon sister. Which admittedly left Shinobu more than a bit chagrined, especially when she was admittedly trying to put the moves on (Y/n) rather than threaten her existence these days.

Fortunately or unfortunately, neither had seemed to catch on to that fact. She would need to step it up.

“And what are you making, (Y/n)?” Shinobu asked, brushing their shoulders together again.

“Oh, um,” (Y/n) finally looked down at her hands. Truthfully, she had been a little too busy trying to steal glances at Shinobu in the garden to really pay attention to what she was doing. Her heart spasmed as she realized she had been putting together a ring during her mindless weaving. “Just a simple ring.” She said, trying her best to sound casual.

“That’s cute, planning on giving it to someone?” Shinobu teased.

“Well…”

“Aw!”

Shinobu and (Y/n)’s attention were brought back to Sachiko, one of her twin buns had unraveled and in her hand was a soft yellow butterfly clip.

“It fell out again.”

“It wouldn’t fall out, if you wouldn’t mess with it.” Shinobu reminded with a smile. She patted her lap and Sachiko quickly sat with her back to Shinobu so she could fix it. “That reminds me…” Shinobu’s eyes slid back to (Y/n)’s face, finding her looking almost guilty, “Where is your clip, (Y/n)? You aren’t wearing it again.”

“You know… it’s just too nice and I’m afraid I’ll break it.”

“You seem plenty gentle when dealing with those dandelions.” Shinobu pointed out.

“Well…”

“You’re a resident of the Butterfly Estate, so you should look the part, don’t you think?”

“It just, it doesn’t look right on me, you know? It’s so pretty and delicate and I’m so… not.” (Y/n) was intimately aware of how frightening she looked to the average person. Horns, claws, fangs and burning eyes… wearing such a pin would look more ironic than a statement of belonging. (Y/n) had not expected Shinobu to look so serious for stating what she thought was the obvious.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush, (Y/n).” Shinobu stated, “You are very pretty, bewitchingly so, and though not physically delicate, I did see you cry over that perfectly healthy kitten that Kanroji-san brought over. On top of that, I picked a color with the intent that it would compliment you. Are you really going to deny me the pleasure of seeing the completed artwork?”

“That wasn’t my intention!” (Y/n) could feel her skin becoming warmer.

“Then go retrieve it.“ Shinobu smiled almost menacingly, softening when watching (Y/n) bolt inside.

(Y/n) came back to the engawa as fast as she could and gave the delicate pin to Shinobu. Sachiko watched thoughtfully as Shinobu placed the pin in such a way that she new (Y/n) would be comfortable and happy with it.

“There, just as pretty as I imagined.” Shinobu smiled. “And you know I’m always right, so it’s obviously true.”

“Yeah…” (Y/n) shared a bashful smile of her own, still staying close to Shinobu even after the pin was secured.

“If you’re gonna kiss, I’m gonna leave.” Sachiko’s nose scrunched up.

“Huh?!” (Y/n) squawked, “Sachiko! Why would you say that? We’re just talking!”

“For now,” Shinobu said mischievously, moving her face closer to (Y/n)’s, “uh oh… I’m getting closer…”

“Ewwww!” Sachiko made a few fake gaging noises as she ran back inside with her handful of dandelions, ignoring (Y/n)’s protests.

“Why did you say that?” The demon’s face buzzed with heat, “She’s going to give the rumor mill around here a field day! Everyone’s going to think that we’re— you know…!”

“I don’t see any issue with a rumor like that.” Shinobu spoke casually, “In fact, it would be even better if it was true. What do you say,” Shinobu leaned in even closer, “will you meet me in the middle?”

(Y/n)’s mouth gaped like a fish for a moment, her eyes flicking between Shinobu’s lips and eyes as if trying to ask if she really meant it before nodding and carefully closing the gap, making sure her fangs didn’t cause too much trouble when their lips finally met.

#demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #demon slayer oneshots #kny oneshots #shinobu x reader #shinobu kocho x reader #shinobu kochou x reader #requests #melisuh123

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tojiscrack · 5 days ago

Note

how i feel knowing that when your ‘liar, liar’ fic gets big (and it WILL), i’ll get to say that i was one of your og readers, laughing as the new readers (peasants) wish they were here during the chaos - when people were shipping malakai with EVERY CHARACTER EVER or when people were making predictions about future chapters or everyone collectively losing their minds over the angst tag etc etc:

we’re going to look back at this time and feel nostalgic when the fic’s over. i need megumi and y/n together RIGHT NOW but i know that when that happens, their story will be over ☹️

liar, liar masterlist here:

AHHH NOT THE TIKTOK PROUD EMOJI LMAOOO 😭 fun fact: it’s my fav emoji in the world and if apple doesn’t find a way to let me use it outside of tiktok, i’m gonna combust on the spot 😀

‘and it WILL’ — your confidence is what i’m gonna hide behind, ty 🌝

DON’T CALL THEM PEASANTS OMG??? 😭 THEY’RE NOT EVEN HERE YET 🫨 i’m trying so hard not to laugh rn 😟

it’s already been, what, a couple of months since the first ever malakai x y/n ship started by that anon who, like, never returned after causing all that chaos? 🫢 so it’s already becoming an old thing the ogs would know about, and don’t even get me started on the panic the angst tag has everyone in LMFAOO, my fault, honestly, but idc i like it 😋

and girl, we have a LONGGG way to go before mercupine’s story is at a close. we’ll worry about that when we get there, i’m just glad the small family we’ve got are still here after nearly an entire year with such slow updates (i’m sorry 😭) <3

and ofc, i’m well aware that you are one of the og’s, sending a cute (albeit weirdly confident/funny) message about it was not necessary ‘cause ANY time i see ur user in my notifs, i remember that you were the first ever reader of SOANO (which i’ve yet to update but i’m working on it if you’re still interested 😔). your support has meant, and still means, the world to me. idk how to speak in such a sappy way, i’ll pocket that for when i’m done writing liar liar 😤💘

#erenismybbg #she had some other user before #and then for some reason stopped using that LMAOO #used to be levianderenaremybbgs #or smth like that #i remember #feels nostalgic thinking about it 😭#the jjk hype back then was lower #and the aot hype was superrr high #and i miss that sm #man don’t make me feel all nostalgic now #2024 has been such a bland year yk #the only thing that kept me going #and no exaggeration #the ONLY thing that kept me going was this fic #you guys #i don’t have favourites when it comes to my readers #that implies i’m at a higher ground to be picking and choosing #i feel like everyone puts fanfic writers on this pedestal that makes them untouchable #but we forget #they’re writing for characters ALREADY made #and ANYONE can write a fanfic 😭#we’re all the same - thirsting and crushing over fictional men #we just express it in different ways (writers = write and readers = read)#megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi x y/n #megumi x you #liar liar asks!

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raylaismad · 5 months ago

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so i thought it might be a good idea to have an intro post for my account so here it is!

what do i go by?

well i go by whatever pronouns, i don’t really care about them as i am agender. the names you can call me by are Ray, Rayla, or any nickname you have given to me or that you like

what do i do on tumblr?

well i like to post art and talk about my special interests! my personal tags are

Ray actually posts- posts i’ve actually made

important reblogs- stuff i want to remember later on out of all of my reblogs

Rays asks - self explanatory

Rays tag games- tag games!

Timler swift- i made this tag pertaining to my Ariana Griande and Timler swift Au but anyone can use it :)

this may update in the future^

what fandoms are you in?

hermitcraft

traffic series

the nightmare before christmas

WWE

studio investagrave games

empires

barbie

will wood

lemon demon

Lego monkie kid

Gravity falls

Bad parenting

Stardew valley

Heathers

Hamilton

Beetlejuice

Deadpool and wolverine

The owl house

Amphibia

DSMP- formerly in it but I still interact occasionally

this may update in the future ^

who are your mutals? i’m glad you asked!

@thebookshelflord @thecrazyalchemist @ima-bellwoo @tamblerdraws @thebookshelflord2 @wrenbird03 @ass-sassafras @evil-vampire-official @doyouneedmedicalwesistance @eggymcdegy @silvers-not-home @eddiesrockstargirlfriend @puppet-on-string @sproutdawnclover @ruby-raider @iwillcausechaos @rat-detector @mumbojumbo-fanblog

(if you have been tagged by this by this point it's just me adding you and I'm sorry for the useless notif 😔💔)

fun facts?

i study mainly engineering and robotics along with sociology and psychology

i have been doing art for 5 years (as of 2024)

my favorite WWE wrestler is The UnderTaker

i love jackets

my favorite colour is maroon

i speak a small amount of german (and by small I mean MINISCULE I swear I'm working on it)

I play the violin

My favorite youtuber is Mumbo Jumbo

What does Ray look like?

this thing

oh yeah and here’s my reblog-blog:

@rays-blogs

I FORGOT TO DO DNI’S SO HERES MY DNI LIST:

NO PROSHIPPERS

NO TRANSPHOBES

NO HOMOPHOBES

NO RACISTS

NO ABLEISTS

NO MISOGYNISTS

NO PEOPLE THAT HATE THERIANS/FURRYS

NO NAZI’S

NO TERFS

NO CREEPY ANONS

NO EXCLUSIVELY NSFW ACCOUNTS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE NSFW STUFF BUT IF THATS UR WHOLE ACCOUNT BACK AWAY

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tonitheloftwing · 5 months ago

Note

I SAW THAT POST TOO LMAO

its crazy, like if you’re gonna be an exclus at least be consistent

“Men can’t be lesbians unless they’re genderfluid bc they’re not REALLY men” LIKE DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF???

Queer discourse of any sort seriously drives me insane, but lesbian discourse makes my head hurt more than anything else 😭 my journey of coming to ID as an aro lesbian who loves bald and/or pathetic baby men in fiction was a long one wrought with distress, mainly due to people who go around pretending to be the Gay Police. Like, as of right now, I’m a mostly cis, mostly female-aligned, lesbian who is only attracted to women irl, which fits most people’s idea of what a lesbian is. But that doesn’t mean I’m not hurt by lesbian exclusionaries, because every single time someone comes up on my dash being like “I hate lesboys I hate mspec lesbians!!!” I’m like. Well what if later down the line my gender shifts to be more masculine again. And I like my little fictional boxer boys, does that make me a “bad” lesbian?

This is the new talking point i try to use as leverage against exclusionary ppl. By being exclusionary towards certain groups of lesbians, you’re hurting all the lesbians - even the ones you’re white-knighting for in your exclusionary statements - because you’re showing us that if we do something you don’t like with our gender or sexuality/romantic identity, you’ll come after us. If i see somebody being exclusionary, I automatically assume they’re gonna see me kissing George costanza’s bald head and make a callout post about it because he’s a stinky, rotten man.

This is very discombobulated bc I have thoughts. But tldr, as someone who isn’t mspec and is hardly male-aligned, I still hate exclusionaries. Especially exclusionaries who use “you’re hurting the real lesbians!” As an excuse to be nasty. Like no, I think lesboys and mspec lesbians are cool and them existing has done no harm to me.

And that’s not even addressing how a lot of lesbian discourse loops back around into like, radfem/terf bioessencialist territory. Men are not inherently evil and scary and bad. Just liking women doesn’t make you a better person than someone who likes men, or men and women, or anybody in between. We’re all just beings at the end of the day, and gender is made up anyways.

To end on at least a funny note, here’s a tumblr post from yaoiboypussy that I will be thinking about every time i hear ppl fighting over lesbians now

Also I’m sorry for not answering this sooner, tumblr never gave me the notif 😔

UPDATE JUNE 14: I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS DAYS AGO AND I GUESS I DIDNT. OOPS

#queer discourse #tbh I was on the verge of infodumping about my spin and my queerplatonic gf thru this whole thing #redefining the term lesbian to mean someone who really really likes fictional boxing and my gf specifically #that way I will be the queen of all lesbians

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uvonobu · 2 months ago

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Uvonaga yapping under the cut ^_^

Don’t read if u hate this ship plzzzz I am so sick of the haters pls just scroll brah… if get another cmmt abt how “they were just friends” I’m gonna crash out yes I know just let me enjoy my own hyperfixation vro 😔

Okay I had to get this thought out cause I know if I fall asleep now I’ll forget it

I was thinking about how Uvogin’s relationship with Nobunaga was described, versus how we saw him with Shalnark. It’s interesting- from that interaction with Shal you’d think he’d be the most affectionate in the group, the one who’s the least afraid of showing his appreciation towards the others. But apparently, he wasn’t like this with Nobunaga. Why might that be?

So let’s get into this; According to Franklin, both Nobunaga and Uvogin were unable to talk about much they enjoyed being in the other’s company when they’d get paired up. Also, Uvogin would never admit that he liked fighting with Nobunaga by his side. He said he only liked fighting alone. But when he was with Nobunaga, he automatically got stronger. Because fighting for the sake of someone else, someone he loved, it fueled him. Uvogin liked protecting Nobunaga, though he never admitted it. Not because Nobunaga is weak, but because his hatsu isn’t suited for large groups of people, and therefor Uvo would feel responsible if something were to happen to him.

Now, with Franklin’s words in mind, let’s access why Uvo would be embarrassed admitting he liked having Nobunaga with him when fighting, while simultaneously kissing Shal on the cheek without any trouble, especially considering Uvo is stated to be much closer to Nobunaga than anyone else.

I think it’s because his relationship with Nobunaga was much different than his relationship with Shal. He was able to to show affection to Shal without much thought because his friendship with Shalnark is very causal. He felt grateful, and he felt like showing it in the moment, because he was confident in their relationship. He knew it wouldn’t change anything between them; he was just thankful. But with close he is to Nobunaga, showing affection like that might actually mean something.

I’m NOT saying this is what’s canon, I’m just spitballing possible answers. It’s impossible to actually tell what was going on in his head. Here are some of the things I’ve thought of as explanations (all uvonaga biased not sorry):

- What he feels for Nobunaga is just fundamentally different from what he feels for Shalnark. A causal friendship versus a deep friendship, and one is harder to admit for him. (is it really a friendship?)

- He’s not embarrassed, but he feels no need to verbally show affection towards Nobunaga because they’re both aware of how much they care for each other, even if they fight occasionally.

- He doesn’t want something changing in their relationship if he were to show the same level of affection towards Nobunaga.

- Him and Nobunaga simply have a different relationship structure, and he acts a different way around different people.

It’s late. I’m tired. I might update this in the morning. I HAD to get this out tho. If ur a non uvonaga shipper and u have an explanation that’s normal pls tell me cause I genuinely cannot see a heterosexual explanation for this but that’s cause I’m uvonaga brainrotted

Good night uvonaga Nation im sleepy I wrote this at midnight ignore any mistakes plz

#uvonaga

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ryuichirou · 8 months ago

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Replies

More replies about the girlies…! And about the Leech parents.

Anonymous asked:

So it’s from AA cup to F cup?

Judging by how they ended up looking, I guess it’s from AAA to FF lol

I am kind of bad at cup sizes though, and also bad at consistency, but at least that was the idea!

Anonymous asked:

How big are the cup sizes of the other genderswapped twst characters (I.e. the staff, Neige, Chenya, Rollo)

I actually talked about their cup sizes as well as what type of bra they would wear in this reply!

But to update: now I think that Crewel is an A and Trein is a C. I don’t know, just feel like it, maybe it’s because of Cruella and Lady Tremaine lol

Also here are those who I didn’t mention: Vargas is easily the biggest one out of the staff, so around D (+wears a sports bra, naturally); Sam isn’t big, somewhere between A and B, and doesn’t usually wear a bra; Crowley is a C… she just is. I can’t really explain any of this lol

Anonymous asked:

Why does it look like fem Ace and Deuce are scissoring each other?

They always are…constantly…even though they’re bad at it…

They aren’t on this sketch though, but maybe Ace suggested it, that would explain Deuce’s reaction lol

Anonymous asked:

When you’re so thirsty, you grabbing your own boob *eyeballs floyd* On a serious note, I can’t get over how well you draw breasts. I get mad just drawing them under clothes 😔

Yeah, Floyd is probably the one to do that all the time without even thinking about it. She likes to squeeze lol

Also, thank you very much, Anon! I don’t draw them very often, so I am very happy to hear that you like how they look. Looking at tons of pictures and art (R18 obviously included hehe) and sketching helped me a lot…

Anonymous asked:

women...... you draw them so fine omfg

Thank youuuu 🥰 I love them

Anonymous asked:

I love the size, shape, and little difference between each woman. Not only in the pretty 👀 but in body shape and hair situation as well. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful (and dangerous) garden!

Thank you so much, Anon!

I am very excited to share, I’ve been thinking about them for so long before actually finally drawing them all… so it means a lot to hear that you like them <3

Anonymous asked:

was looking back through my liked posts and I saw your drawings of meleanor, and of some of the other twst extras, and it made me curious since now that book 7 is coming out in english will you be drawing more or the new characters like prince Levan, or the knight of dawns? Also a bit of a self-indulgent ask because I want to see sebeks hot ass grandfather in your artstyle :>

We don’t play the game, Anon, so the EN release doesn’t really concern us; we haven’t watched book 7 yet at all.

But when we do, I’m pretty sure I will draw at least some of the characters from it! Definitely more Meleanor and definitely Sebek’s grandpa because how fucking dares he be voiced by Koyasu of all people. I kind of wanted to draw him even before that point (just like Meleanor, I couldn’t resist, to be honest lol), but didn’t really have time for him…

Anonymous asked:

do you have any more leech parents thoughts or possible scenarios?

Anonymous asked:

I like to think that papa Leech would also be quite happy with Vil, even though admittedly this is based entirely on a headcanon. Since the boys found out in a vignette that one of his favorite movies has Eric Venue starring in it, I like the idea that papa Leech became a big fan of him. I guess this means that more than liking Vil himself (although he is very charming in his own right), he would like the chance to get closer to his favorite actor through their kids relationship

To the first Anon, I’m sorry for the late reply, I’ll share more thoughts in a moment. Starting with the Vil scenario!

I agree with you, second Anon! We talked about it in this reply, but very briefly.

Whether it’s Jade or Floyd who brings Vil to their house, Papa Leech is going to be super excited because he’d recognise the boy instantly. Somehow, their dinner with the Leech parents would end up looking more like a handshake event lol With Papa Leech asking a lot of questions about Eric and stuff. Even if Vil isn’t dating any of his sons, just the fact that he is their senpai would make Papa Leech super excited. Mama Leech would probably apologise for his behavior, but not in a genuine way, but just to make the situation even more awkward for Vil. Thank god Vil knows how to handle it… probably… maybe…

Vil would also make such a pretty betta merman…

But ALSO!!! If Floyd or Jade (or both) bring Idia to meet their parents, Idia would be absolutely terrified; he would be terrified either way, but the Leech parents are especially intimidating and scary. But they would love him a lot! Not only because he is the Shroud’s oldest boy (connections are important), but because of how his demeanor and his frankly exciting sparkly look. They would stare at him without blinking, showering him with attention. And they would tease him a lot, maybe even more that they would tease Riddle. Because Riddle is just an overly serious baby, but Idia? He is so visibly uncomfortable and scared; teasing him is absolutely priceless. Papa Leech would sit very close to him and look very intimidating, maybe touch his hair, ask him what he is so scared of. Ask about which one of their sons Idia likes the most (neither… please let him go…), a lot of other questions that sound like “there is no correct answer, you are screwed either way, but I am having fun, so you’ll at least survive maybe”. And then Mama Leech would tell Papa Leech not to freak out this poor boy, start stroking Idia’s hand, talk to him in a sweet motherly tone that doesn’t sound even remotely comforting. Somehow… these two are even worse than Jade and Floyd…

A couple of very short HCs!

Mama Leech is a huge gossip. She knows everything about everyone.

Mama Leech doesn’t cook, but it’s a secret, because she wants to keep the image of a perfect traditional wife.

Papa Leech used to operate on land too when he was younger. He still does sometimes, but very rarely.

Papa Leech thinks Azul is a great influence on his boys and wants them to learn everything they could from this friendship before getting rid of him (if he stops being such a great influence).

While the family bond is strong, the entire Leech family is aware that one of them might betray the rest at any given moment. That doesn’t mean that they don’t cherish family tradition and history.

#replies #headcanons

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daddycassie · 8 months ago

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Welcome to my blog! 🐝☀️

It’s been a while since I’ve done an official introduction for my blog, so here is the new an updated one~

I’m Casper, you can call me Cas or Cassie <3 👻🎃

I’m an author, and I write for tbosas, aka the hunger games trilogy! I’ll write platonic headcanons for characters, x readers(fem or gender neutral, but mostly fem), ship headcanons, ship fics(snowbaird, coralbaird, dovecrane, dovecranebaird, dovebaird! Yes I know — odd selection, don’t be afraid to ask about any of them) Note that I do also write very specifically for Anthea from Shazam fury of the gods, and Maria from west side story 2021, I just love Rachel Zegler a lot <3

I keep requests open most of the time and try to get to them within a couple days but it really depends on how motivated I am, so sorry if it takes me a while to get to yours!!! 😭🫶

I write fluff, nsfw, and angst, don’t shy away from giving me your headcanons either, I love to hear from you guys!!!

I run two other accounts; @dearlucygraybaird and @barbazurebairdtrue ! These are character blogs that I am generally very active on, don’t be scared to say hello <3

Other characters include: @tamamberoffically @clerkcarmineclade @billytaupeclade @officialmaudeivorybaird @justlucygraybaird @s-plinth @arachnecrane @coralfisher @officallaminamason

If you wanna join in, any spot not listed here should be open!! We’d love to have you as a part of the fun.

Speaking of @ ing, these are some of my favorite people that you MUST follow!!!

@torturedcoveydepartment @sparklebear11 @sleepy-gee @noooooooop-e @lettersfrompanem @officialelioperlman-deactivated (may you rest in peace)

my wife @losingmymindrn gets their own spot because I bit her 😔 ILY FOREVER BABY

He is the CEO of Coralbaird and I’m her secretary ✏️📋

———

More about me ~ 🌼🌙

I was born on February 7th, making me an Aquarius ♒️

My MBTI is INFP ✨

my irl name is like covey 🌹

my favorite colors are yellow and pink 💛🩷

I go by all pronouns, but I am a lady ☺️

I am an out and proud lesbian who occasionally loves fictional men!!! But am currently smitten w/ Rachel Zegler and her characters so good luck dragging me away Coriolanus Snow 🫵

Some of my favorite things include; my moots, My dogs, Rachel Zegler, Tom Blyth, Crystals, the hunger games series, my wife, origami, the moon, writing/literature, bugs(especially spiders and beetles), candles, Halloween, Pumpkins very specifically, sweettarts, stuffed animals, old creepy things, stickers, Sanrio, card games, movies, pop figures, quilts, my quote books, pickles, theatre, TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT!!!! (this list goes on too long I love too many things)

For now this is all I have… I’m sure I’ll add more so stay tuned pumpkins 🫶

#cassie being an idiot #cassie talks to YOU #yes you #Right there in the cool cloths #Intro #request are open #Asks are open #request currently in the works!!

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noeasyisnoisy · 8 months ago

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‼️TBB EP 10 & 11 SPOILERS BELOW CUT‼️

ep 10

who tf are these people

ykw good for you emerie

ARE WE FINALLY GONNA KNOW WHAT THE EMPIRE IS DOING

“YOUR responsibility” hemlock is setting her up for something

kids?

OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS INQUISITORS I THINK

omg those poor kids :(

why is bro smirking like that HELP

oh my god they’re gonna take that child.

BANE AGAIN??

poor baby omg MY HEART

i have a soft spot for kids i’m sorry

EVA IS ADORABLE

“when i’ll be going home.. can you find out for me?” IM IN PUBLIC IM GONNA START CRYING STOP

i don’t trust this green kid

CALLED IT

omg he just wants to go home IM GOING TO SOB

“i was following protocol” = “good soldiers follow orders”

why did i know his name would be jax

am i psychic or have we heard it before and i’m js forgetting

nala se 💔

“there is nothing i can do” YES THERE IS BE SO FR

NO NOT TARKIN

ngl i’m kinda surprised tarkin doesn’t know abt the project

OH MY GOD

PHEE

omg what if (if he’s tech) she snaps him out of it.

“how many others like this have you captured?” oh honey you have no idea

i can’t stop thinking about the baby and his mother and THIS IS REALLY SAD

DID THEY KILL JAX???

“we just wanna go home” STOP.

SHE KEPT THE HAY LULA

AND GAVE IT TO EVA

SHE KEPT THE HAY LULA AND GAVE IT TO EVA!!!!

i’m rooting for you emerie

ep 11

where are we

PHEE!!

oh my god phee. (i remembered the convo w maybe tech)

IS THIS A TRAP

ITS A TRAP

I CALLED IT

PHEE WATCH OUT

i’m trying so hard not to get up my hopes that it’s tech rn.

what did he grab 🤨

tbb’s location or smth maybe??

SHE KNOWS

sneaky bitch

maybe tech’s ship reminds me of padmé’s ship a bit

not exactly but kinda similar? maybe it’s js the general shape

PABU

pabu’s gonna be gone

NO THE CADETS

oh god are they gonna leave right before pabu’s attacked

TECHS GOGGLES.

GET OUT

STOP

AND LULA

OH MY GOD

i’m currently bawling my eyes out

notice how the island is completely in the dark

god i love lighting

HUNTER KNOWS

NO HE SEES HER

OMG NO

WRECKER KNOWS

holy fucking shit.

HOLY SHIT

HE BETTER BE ALIVE

IF THEY KILLED HIM ISTG

CAN I NOT CRY FOR TWO SECONDS

hunter knows

HOLY FUCK

I KNEW IT

PABUS GOING DOWN

ok this music slaps though

maybe tech feels like tech but the voice (accent, tone, everything) is SO different

my heart hurts omg

OMEGA SWEETIE NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

“i’ve barely done anything yet” first of all BE SO FR second yep oahu is a goner

ok but protective crosshair hits different every time

BATCHER STOP

if they kill batcher.

OH THANK GOD HES ALIVE

JENNIFER YOU SCARED ME.

why was hunter taking out that trooper kinda..

EAT HUNTER

GOD HES HOT

maybe tech no.

STOP

omgomgomgogmogmg

HES ALIVE BUT IM STILL SOBBING JESUS

I NEED TO CALM DOWN

OMEGA YOU ARE NOT GETTING CAPTURED

STOP IT.

she’s smart but it’s too risky

she’s grown up so much holy shit

“then you never should’ve come here in the first place” I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA KILL EVERYONE OMG

crosshair your hand better not start shaking.

HIS NOISE

HIS SIGNATURE NOISE

IN THE MUSIC

ITS BACK (it might’ve been back for a while but i didn’t notice it)

THANK GOD HUNTER

WET HAIR HUNTER⁉️⁉️⁉️

IM TOO HURT TO APPRECIATE FULLY THOUGH

update: i rewatched and that hair is NOT wet 😔

BATCHER!!!!!

oh my god hunter’s gonna be PISSED

i’m crying again

NONONO

HUNTER SAVE CROSS NOW.

omega what do you know

is she meditating

THE FORCE???

IS SHE GONNA TAP IN AND TELL THEM BC IDK WHAT ELSE THEYD DO

ok so my final thoughts are i am HURT and still crying WHAT THE FUCK JENNIFER

#star wars #tbb #the bad batch #clone force 99 #tbb season 3 #the bad batch season 3 #star wars tbb #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb s3 spoilers

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pensat-i-fet · 1 year ago

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A big silly idiot (Kai Havertz x Reader)

**I got a request by an account that has now change the name and I can’t find it, so I can’t tag it. Sorry 😔 But the idea was to write some jealous Havertz where the reader is a physio. And…I know he moved to Arsenal but not in this story 😅 or the little cameo wouldn’t work. Always fun to write jealous characters and I hope you guys enjoy it!! ❤️**

Word count: 1022

Masterlist

Wattpad

"And because of the new coaching staff, there are all these new people working here. Some for the medical team. That'd be weird. I was so used to my previous colleagues".

"It'll be fine".

"I hope so. For a moment I worried they'd fire me too".

"How could they fire the best doctor in the history of football doctors?"

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend's comments and turned to kiss him goodbye when you reached the infirmary. But when you were leaning against the door with your eyes closed, the door opened before Kai could kiss you.

You would have fallen to the floor had it not been for the arms that caught you.

"So sorry. Are you ok?"

Kai was looking at the young man who still held your arms, not wanting to make a scene but slightly glaring at him. There was no need to touch you for that long.

"I'm fine, yeah. Note to self: don't lean against closed doors".

The mystery man laughed with you before noticing there was someone else there.

"Oh, hi! Are you here for your treatment?"

"No, I'm with her".

You frowned at his words and tone.

"He's on his way to training. Treatment for the players that aren't injured usually comes after they train. Unless you've changed that already?"

"No, that's fine. I just need an updated list of who’s fit and who’s not".

"I'm going now", said Kai, making you look at him. He was acting so weird.

"I know. Have a good training. I'll see you after".

"My kiss?"

He was being so obvious. "Who do you want the kiss from?"

When Kai rolled his eyes, you moved closed and pecked his cheek. "But…".

"See you later".

You got inside the room, closing the door and leaving Kai to be moody outside of your little place of work.

"So, what's your name?"

"Sebastiano. But you can call me Sebas".

"Right, you're the manager's son".

"I swear I know how to do my job and didn't just get it because of him", he joked.

"I'm dating a player. I get how it feels to be judged because of personal connections so you won't get that kind of comment from me".

"Nice. It's hard to find someone who gets it, you know?"

You nodded. "Anything you need, let me know".

Kai also learned who the new medical team member was very soon since everyone was talking about the new staff. And he also kept glaring at him during training.

"Why does he have to be here?"

"What?", Enzo looked at who his teammate was pointing. "Well, he's learning the dynamics of the team from someone who knows all about it…".

"It's not that hard, is it? We train, we get injured, he treats the injury and hopefully doesn’t make it worse. He’s just here because of daddy so maybe he won’t even know how to put a plaster on a wound".

"Why are you so annoyed by him…wait. Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of what?"

"Of a young good looking guy who has to work with your girlfriend".

"I'm not", said Kai, kicking the ball and leaving to find a new training partner.

But he was jealous. He was used to you being surrounded either by other women or by dudes so old they could be your dad…or grandad. And Enzo was right. This new guy was good-looking and seemed nice too. What if you liked him? And he was smart like you, not an idiot who earns a living kicking and heading a ball.

He tried to concentrate on training but hearing you giggle at whatever the new guy was saying didn’t help his case.

“Ten minutes left”, you said, “now it’s when we leave and get everything ready for those who need more treatment. Most will just need some massages and similar”.

“Ok, let’s go”.

Kai saw you both leaving and when he noticed the new guy putting his hand on your back when you walked in front of him, he lost it.

“Ahhh!”

Everyone turned to look at him after his very unnatural scream and he fell to the floor holding his ankle.

“You ok?”

“I twisted my ankle. I think I need to go to the infirmary to get it checked”.

“Sure”, said one of the physios helping Kai to stand up and walking with him to where you were.

When the door opened, you lifted your head to see who was coming in. Your head that was very close to the new guy’s, who was looking at the same documents you had placed on the table.

“Kai, what happened?”

“I twisted my ankle”, he said and you were immediately by his side to guide him to one of the stretchers.

A few people surrounded you two, since there was no one else to attend at the moment. You took Kai’s shoe off and then his sock too to check the foot…but there was nothing to check.

“It’s not bruised or swollen…”.

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah”, you said, giving him a funny look. “Does it hurt when I touch it?”

“No”.

“Does it now?”, you asked, applying way more pressure than necessary.

“Yes! Don’t do that”.

“Just checking. I got this, guys. Go get everything ready for the rest of the players”.

Kai could tell you weren’t happy by your expression. He knew you too well but that went both ways. You knew him too well too.

“Did you fake an injury?”

“What? Why would I…”.

“You’re jealous. No, don’t say anything. I can tell. And you’re so stupid for it”.

“It’s just…he’s young and smart, like you”.

“And about to marry someone”, you said and Kai closed his eyes and let his head fall back before he started to laugh. “I really am an idiot, huh?”

“A big silly idiot. But even if he wasn’t engaged to someone else…come on. It takes more than young and smart to win me over”.

“Sorry”.

“I wish I had seen you faking the injury on the pitch, though. It must have been hilarious”.

“Yeah, I’m not winning an Oscar anytime soon”.

#kai havertz #kai havertz imagine #kai havertz one shot #kai havertz fluff #kai havertz x reader #footballer imagine #footballer one shot #footballer fluff #footballer x reader

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here4kpopfics · 2 years ago

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Feeling in Chaos - Fall pt. 1 | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f) reader | Yoongi x (f) reader

Genre: drama, angst, smut

AU: art college!au, friends to lovers, best friend’s brother

Wordcount: 10,198

Summary: Having to revisit somewhere full of memories for the first time, you ask a friend (?) for help.

Rating: M / 18+

Warnings: Language. Grief. Panic attacks. Y/n has PTSD and is learning how to get through it. Mentions of use of medication. Bad decisions. Jealousy. Self-loathing. Possibly problematic friendship/relationship. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, please just skip this story.

Smut Warnings: oral (both f and m receiving). Protected sex. He gets a little rough at the end, but very vanilla considering what I usually write.

AN: Sorry for the long wait. The original decision was to have the entire season be their own chapters, but I didn’t want to make the wait time even longer, and the chapters would be over 50k words each. So the seasons get parts and you get updates faster! A reminder that you are free to dislike the way a character behaves and the choices they make and the words they say, especially when dealing with a trauma or grieving. But remember that doesn’t always make them who they are. People overreact, people underreact. Emotions are either heightened or taken away and it can cause a lot of trouble.

Thank you to my soulmate @playmetheclassics for beta/editing and for just dealing with me freaking out over how the story reads and if people will hate it and me basically spoiling it left and right. You're amazing. 💜

Banner and Divider by @classicscreations

Masterlist | Taglist | AskBox | Coffee?

PREVIOUS | SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT

Y/N (6:47pm): Are you busy?

Yoongi (6:58 pm): For you? Never.

You roll your eyes, sitting in the corner of the library, backpack and canvas sitting on the table in front of you. You curled up into one of the chairs, deciding to wait at the library for his response rather than go home.

Y/N (7:00 pm): I’m sorry for ghosting this week…

Y/N (7:00 pm): School started, and it’s been a mess. 😔

Y/N (7:01 pm): But if you still wanted to hang out before group on Saturday, and are free right now, there’s somewhere I need to go and could use some support…

You hit send and feel the anxiety creeping in at the thought of his rejection and having to go alone. Thankfully, you don’t have to wait too long before he replies.

Yoongi (7:03 pm): Where do you want me to meet you?

You sigh in relief, texting him where you are and that you’d come out when he was there. He says he’d need about an hour, and you were happy to wait, trying to mentally prepare for a step in the grieving process you knew you weren’t ready for.

You get comfortable in the chair, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit sideways and leaning your head onto the headrest. You try to focus on keeping your breathing steady instead of the loud voices in your head screaming at you, but both are interrupted by the vibrations from your phone.

Incoming Call: 💜🍪Kookie📷💜

Fuck, I didn’t text him that I was staying after.

Sighing, you answer the phone, holding it up to your ear.

“Hmm?” Is the only thing you can get out. You’re never sure how to greet him anymore.

“Y/n? Where are you? I thought classes ended at four?”

“They did. I stayed after and spent time in Varon’s trying to complete my painting.”

“Did you?” You puff out a small laugh at the question.

“Nope.”

“You’ll get it done. I believe in you.” you wish he wouldn’t. “Are you on your way back?”

“Uhm…no…” you feel your body tensing up, “I’m actually going to go to the studio…see if I can finish it there.”

The line is silent. None of you have gone to the studio. It was the safe space for all four of you, and the idea of going back there was something you and Jungkook had discussed, but neither wanted to until Ryujin was ready.

“Are you with Ry?”

“No…I can’t wait for her to be ready, Koo. I have to get this done.” You hear a heavy sigh on the other line, followed by what sounds like clothing moving against one another.

“Okay. I’ll meet you there. And we can do it toget–”

“No,” you interrupt. “I’m fine, Jungkook. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not doing this by yourself, y/n.”

“I’m not.”

More silence.

“You’re not?”

“No…I’m going with someone else.” You wince at the confession, knowing you’re doing it again. You’re hurting him.

“Joshua?”

“No, he went home after class.”

“...is it that guy from last week? Your new sex buddy? Yongjin?” You groan, running your hand across your face in annoyance.

“His name’s Yoongi, Jungkook. Don’t even pretend not to remember his name. And yes, with him. I’m just waiting at the library for him to meet me here.”

The line stays silent again. You can only imagine the face he’s making on the other end right now. Eyebrows pinched together, jaw clenching as he gnaws on the side of his cheek. He’s probably glaring at the wall, wishing he had his punching bag in front of him. You almost check the phone to see if he hung up on you before you hear a big breath being taken.

“But he doesn’t—”

“Exactly, but he doesn’t. That’s the point, Jungkook,” you cut him off again, closing your eyes in frustration. ”Please, let me do this alone, with him, with someone who doesn’t know Kai. Someone who knows the pain of losing a sibling. I’m really fucking trying here, okay? I want to live a life worth living for Kai, and I can’t fucking do that if you keep coddling me like this. I love you, you know I love you, but I need someone else right now, okay? Please?”

You sniffle, using your free hand to wipe away the invisible tears you can’t bring yourself to let out anymore, and listen closely to the man on the other end of the call, not saying a word for a moment.

“Okay.” He mumbles it out reluctantly.

“Just…let me know if you need me, okay? Or at least text me when you’re there and when you’re back home, so I know you’re okay?” His voice cracks twice, and your heart with it, but you quietly agree to his terms, both saying goodbye and hanging up.

“Fuck!” you shout in a whisper against the back of the chair, voices in your head screaming at your mistakes in wording and ruining everything with Jungkook again.

You nearly jump to another universe at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder, turning quickly to smack the person touching you, only to find Yoongi. You can’t even bring yourself to yell at him, forcing yourself to a normal sitting position instead.

“Hey. You okay, love?”

You shake your head in response, grabbing your backpack and putting it on while Yoongi grabs the canvas before you can.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

You shake your head again, grabbing his free hand and intertwining your fingers with his as you lead him out of the library and away from the school. It’s a quick walk from the campus, about six moderately sized blocks, but you both stay silent until you’re a block away from the studio. You feel a small tug on your hand, stopping you in your tracks.

“Y/n, I’m not doing whatever this is unless you talk to me.”

You turn to look at him, fighting off the many different emotions building up in your heart.

“I…it’s hard to explain. I’d rather ignore it and focus on why I called you, okay?”

“No. Not okay.” He tugs you closer, chests almost touching.

“What happened?” His tone softens as he stands the canvas on the ground against his leg to free his hand that moves a strand of hair out of your face.

You keep your eyes on the beautiful necklace around his neck. The little gold star-shaped pendant resting perfectly under the center of his clavicle with the initials MK carved into it. You wonder where he got it or who gave it to him.

“I just keep fucking things up with people, and I speak without thinking, and I’m just so tired of it. I’m tired of explaining my feelings. I’m tired of being treated like some basketcase or some fragile flower about to be crushed by the wind. I’m tired, Yoongi. So can we please drop this?”

He watches you closely, your eyes never stray from his chest, and you look exactly how you feel. Angry and exhausted and like you could use a room with a bunch of plates you can break. Your actions differ from your expressions, though, your hand squeezes onto his as if you’re scared and begging for help, looking for some sort of lifeline.

He knows you enough to know your actions are more than your reactions. The emotions you put on for people can easily be the opposite of what’s real. He sighs, gives a small nod before kissing your forehead, and agrees to drop it. He picks the canvas back up and lets you continue to lead the way silently.

You finally approach an old building that had been converted into an apartment complex, still maintaining its historic features. You punch in the code to unlock the doors, and Yoongi quietly follows as you enter an old elevator, closing the door and gate first before pressing the button that brings you to one of the top floors.

“So,” you say, taking in a deep breath as the elevator jolts and starts moving.

“Kai, Ryujin, Jungkook, and I are…were…are all into the arts, right? I’m painting and drawing, Jungkook photography, Ryujin fashion design, and Kai graphic design. We thought it’d be easier for us to have an art studio that we’d all share rather than each having our own because that’d be too expensive, ya know? And none of us really have the space to do it at our apartments. Kai and Jungkook maybe, but then Jungkook recently got into film and wanted his own darkroom, so…”

“Makes sense,” he nods along, watching you open the gate and opening the door of the desired floor.

“So we piled all our money together once Kai and Jungkook got accepted at our school, and bought this floor space in this office building and turned it into four rooms.” you explain as you play with the keys in your palm as you approach the door to your shared safe space, trying to delay the inevitable.

“The one immediately on the right is Ryujin’s room, the left is Jungkook’s, mine is the back left, and Kai’s…” you pause, forcing yourself to unlock the door and open it. You stay standing outside as the door swings open, revealing a dark room, lit only by the lights of the city and sky outside.

“Kai’s room is back, right.” Your voice falters, and Yoongi squeezes your hand to get you to look at him.

“This is your first time back, isn’t it?” you nod, chewing on your lip.

“Have you tried coming here before?” you shake your head.

“Okay, let’s go. You said back left?” After you give a quick nod, Yoongi brings your held hand up to his lips, giving a small kiss on the back of your hand before walking in and holding you close.

He turns on the light, scanning the room for your door. There are two giant L-shaped couches merged together in the main area, and a big tv hanging on the wall. A tiny kitchen is tucked in a corner of the place, and as you had stated, four doors in the open floor space. He finds the one that is painted multiple colors, with your name hiding amongst the smears of paint. You step in front of him to unlock it with a four-digit code, 0901, hearing the obnoxious clicking sound before the door finally starts to open. You quickly step inside, turning on the light and bringing your hand away from his finally.

Your room is exactly as you left it a few days before finals in the spring. It’s messy from all of the last-minute painting you had to do and there’s a wall with various finished canvases lined up against one another. As chaotic as it feels with all the different colors and the paint covering the floor and walls, it’s specifically organized. There’s a table that holds all your brushes, pens, and markers in various jars, separated by size and type. There’s a cabinet full of various paints organized by medium and brand. And the same can be said for the clean canvases and varying sketchbooks. There’s a smaller couch in the corner with a rainbow Squishmallow sitting on it, and a stool in the center, sitting in front of a giant empty easel.

“Wow.” is all Yoongi can bring himself to say as he walks up to the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the city and the school. You ignore him as you take the canvas from him and set it on the easel. You unpack your paint supplies, grabbing more from the cabinet and table, and organizing the tray next to the easel. You send a quick text to Jungkook that you’re in your studio and turn your location on to share with him while Yoongi has moved to the other wall and starts sifting through your finished pieces.

“Y/n, when you said you painted, I didn’t know you were actually this fucking good.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult? I can’t tell.” you narrow your eyes at him, a small smile forming on your lips.

“Trust me, love. It’s a fucking compliment. It’s - oh holy shit, this is nice!” He exclaims, pulling out the one you painted three years ago of a neighbor’s cat.

“Whose cat is this?”

“A neighbor from a few years ago. They moved as I was finishing it up for them. Never got their new address.” You watch him hold the canvas up in awe.

“Do you want it?”

His eyes snap to yours. “What?”

“You can have it, I have no use for it.”

“Are you sure?” you nod confidently.

“Yeah, put it in the cat cafe or something, I don’t really care.”

The grin that adorns his face is something you would love to paint one day. You take a mental photo of him, saving it for a day you feel inspired again. You can’t help but smile back, eyes darting to the floor when he puts it down next to the door.

“I’ll put it on the center of the wall in the room with the cats so everyone who comes in can see it.” He steps closer to you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “So what are we doing here today?”

You give him the rundown of the canvas, showing him the picture of the oak tree you took after texting him, explain your inability to see the colors in the paint and your new instructions from Professor Varon to just paint with whatever.

He agrees to stick around while you paint, laying on your tiny couch and lets you tell him random stories about Kai while you make the smallest strokes on the canvas, trying to figure out what the colors are. You let Yoongi choose the colors at random, squeezing them onto the pallet in no specific order. You hate that you can’t tell which color is which. You can almost see the color red, but that’s about it.

This is going to look horrible.

An hour later, Yoongi’s places an order for food to be delivered and you stop painting, joining him on the two couches in the living area. You both eat in silence.

“You should go in there.” Your eyes find his, turning your head to find where he’s looking.

Kai’s door.

You look back to your food and shake your head.

“Nope. Not happening.”

“Why not?”

“I should wait for the others. We should do it together.”

“I guess, but he’s your brother before he’s Ryujin’s boyfriend or Jungkook’s best friend, right? Doesn’t that give you something like, I don’t know, seniority?”

“You mean priority?”

“Yeah, that!” He laughs, but you shake your head again.

“It might, but I can’t do it, not without them,” you speak so sternly, trying to end the conversation, but he doesn’t let up.

“You made it here without them, didn’t you?”

“No, I made it here with you.”

“Perfect! You can go in there with me, then.”

He puts his food down, grabs yours, doing the same before standing up and holding out his hand again.

“You have to do it at some point, love. Might as well be now.” You shake your head again, but he grabs your hands and pulls you up with little resistance on your part. You let him drag you closer to the door, but freeze when you’re actually in front of it.

It suddenly looks larger than before, like the door to a boss fight in a video game. It's the final boss and you’re too low of a level. You shouldn’t enter.

“I can’t do it.” You breathe out, feeling your lungs starting to collapse.

“Do you not know the code?”

“No, I know the code. I just…” you look down at the pin pad as the crushing weight of panic starts to settle on your chest again, making you feel heavy.

“I’m going to open the door and he’s not going to be in there. It’ll be like watching him die all over again.”

His big hands find their way to your face, forcing you to look at him.

“The way I see it, the longer you wait, the more painful it’s going to be. Trust me, I waited months before going into Karin’s room, and I regret waiting that long.” His thumbs soothe back and forth against your cheekbones as you sniffle.

“You think it’ll be like watching him die all over again right now? I promise you it’ll be even worse if you keep waiting.”

Your head pulls away only slightly, but enough to have Yoongi’s hands follow and readjust as you look up at him.

“Karin?”

He gives the smallest nod with the saddest smile.

“My sister.”

You offer a small smile in return, a small part of you thrilled that he’s slowly starting to talk about her. He never once mentioned her by name in group therapy, only ever calling her his sister.

“It’s a pretty name…” you quietly whisper, earning a light laugh from him. His eyes dart between yours like they’re searching for a way out of the conversation.

“Do you want to tell me the code and I’ll put it in?”

You sigh, really not wanting to do this. But if he’s willing to bring up his sister to you? Actually, say her name? Who are you to deny him?

“0412” you quietly mumble, eyes shut tight.

He moves to stand in front of you, a hand grabbing yours. You squeeze it like a lifeline while he starts punching in the code. You hear the lock clicking to unlock and it’s when the door starts to open you find your nails digging into the hand in yours.

He lets the door swing open, stepping in just enough so he can find the light switch, turning it on and backing back out before turning to you again.

“You ready? We don’t have to, if it feels like I’m pressuring you, I don’t mean to. I just—”

“Yoongi. It’s okay.” You look past him and get a glimpse of Kai’s room. You can see his big computer setup as well as a few of his drawing tablets.

He’s not at his desk, crouched over trying to finish a project. Your heart falters a little, the pain still very much still there, but oddly not as bad as you feared it would’ve been.

Yoongi steps aside, letting you slowly take the four steps it takes to get into Kai’s room. You take a deep breath when you get to the center of the room, Yoongi right behind you.

It’s exactly as he’s left it. Just the same as you did right after finals. The four of you had been so busy trying to cram as much fun as possible in the summer, that none of you thought to come back to the studio once the year was over.

There are sketches tossed around this desk. A notepad that looks full of sketches and other things taped to the sheets inside as well as some pages folded into shapes sits by his mouse. The various tech he kept buying to help improve his work was piled into a corner of the room. He has the same set-up of a couch and a giant window looking out over the city.

You hear a ruffle of papers and turn to see Yoongi delicately holding some sketches that were on the couch.

Snap.

“No! Stop touching it!” You rush to him, roughly taking the papers out of his hand and putting them back on the table. You try to smooth the crinkles you made out without touching the sketch itself but you can’t and instead, the tears you didn’t know were present start to fall from your face, landing on Kai’s drawing.

You ruined his sketch. This could’ve been the most important sketch to him and you ruined it with your stupid tears. You ruined it just like you ruined everything else.

I’m always fucking ruining everything, such a goddamn worthless piece of shit.

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, it’s ruined.” You gasp, ignoring the ice-cold tightness around your lungs returning.

Everything hit all at once - like you were being crushed by a freight train and the only moments you could breathe were in between the various train cars running across your chest.

You drop to your knees, curling in on yourself to be as small as possible, palms pushing against your closed eyes, fingers trying to plug your ears to silence the bloodcurdling noises in your head. You try to breathe, you know you can, but it’s like your lungs refuse to listen to your brain. Your heart refuses to calm down and your brain feels like it’s going to explode. Everything feels wrong and never-ending.

Make it stop, make it stop, please just make it stop.

Are you thinking it or shouting it? You can’t tell anymore. Nothing seems real anymore. It’s just darkness and pain. It feels like you’re going to die. Maybe that’s okay. You’ll get to see Kai again.

Please, just let this stop.

It hurts so fucking much.

You feel two hands gently pull your hands away from your eyes and ears. You try to open them, but everything is dark and fuzzy. You can barely make out the boy squatting down in front of you that’s terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing. He tries to wordlessly get you to match his breathing, but you can’t follow him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched it. I'm so fucking sorry. Come back to me, y/n. Fight through it, you’re right there.”

You’re right there.

No no no, you can’t think about that.

“Do you want the Ativan?” You hear him whisper and it takes so much energy to shake your head. You don’t want to be numb, you hate it.

Yoongi feels his heart pounding. He’s seen you have anxiety attacks, he’s seen you break down in group therapy, he’s seen your panic attacks, but he’s never seen one like this. He’s never heard you scream the things you’re screaming. It’s overwhelming and terrifying and he doesn’t know how to stop it, but he can’t just sit there and wait for you to come out of it. He wants to help. He needs to help. So he does the only thing he knows he can do to help steady your breathing.

Everything stops.

The voices, the tears, the pounding in your head, and your breathing all come to a halt the moment you feel his lips on yours.

It’s not romantic in any sense. His chapped lips are roughly pushed against yours that are wet with tears and hopefully not snot. There’s no movement save for his hands cupping your face, fingertips gently moving against the skin on the back of your neck.

The tightness around your lungs loosens and fades, and the pain in your head is back after the initial shock of the kiss, but it’s fading as well. Your pounding heart is now pounding for a different reason. You open your eyes to find his shut tight, tears barely escaping.

Your shaky hand reaches up, gently tugging his shirt. He slowly pulls away, eyes opening just enough to see your wide ones staring at him. Realizing what just happened, his hands drop from your face as he leans back some more, readying himself to stand back up.

“I’m so sor- sorry. I- I don’t know why…” you’ve never seen him stumble over words before. Sure, in group therapy he hesitates a lot, but that’s because he’s thinking of what to say next. This is different. This is fear.

He quickly stands up, trying not to disturb any of Kai’s things as he rushes out of the room. You stay seated on your knees, completely lost and confused about everything that just happened. It’s when you hear his keys being picked up that you force yourself to your feet and run out of your brother’s room, not even bothering to close the door.

When Yoongi starts to walk out of your room with his jacket halfway on, you’re already at the doorway. Your eyes are still wide, still processing what’s happening and what you are doing.

He looks afraid.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that without permission. I just, I didn’t know what to–”

Your lips are on his without a second thought, properly shutting him up. This kiss is a complete one-eighty from the previous, however. Your lips move against his, letting out a small gasp when his hands find your waist, allowing his tongue to slip past your lips and causing you both to moan. You tangle your fingers in his hair, trying to keep him close as you walk him back to your couch, the sound of his jacket dropping to the floor barely noticed.

The back of his legs hit the couch and he brings you down with him as he sits down, your legs on either side of his, lips never parting. His hands finally move from your waist, one reaching up for your face, holding you close, while the other grabs a handful of your ass, dragging you closer to him. You get the hint, grinding your hips against his and pulling away from his lips as he lets out a groan.

His hand tries to bring your lips back to his but you move down, leaving small kisses along his jaw, neck, and Adam's apple. You pause when you see the pendant again, still resting perfectly where it should be. You admire the initials MK, now understanding who they belong to. You kiss just below it on his chest, where his heart should be, feeling him relax under the touch of your lips as you slide off him, knees dropping to the floor.

“You don’t have to…” you look up to meet Yoongi’s worried eyes, a mixture of lust, concern, and something else that you can’t quite place. His hands find yours on his thighs. “We can stop if you want.”

You shouldn’t do this. You’re just reacting to the adrenaline and soon, you’ll crash in exhaustion. You should not do this. Not with Yoongi. You should stop.

You shake your head.

“Please?” Your voice finally makes a sound, but just barely. It’s almost grating. Yoongi waits a moment before leaning forward to cup your face in his hands, bringing you in for a soft kiss.

“Okay.” He whispers against your lips. “Whatever you want, love.” He kisses you once more, letting you sit back while he lifts his hips to take off his joggers and underwear. He tosses them aside, not caring about where they land when you’re crawling back to him

When you had sex with Yoongi the first time, you told him it was just sex. You told him the rules would be no kissing, no oral, and nothing that would be considered lovemaking or too intimate. He agreed, and it’s been fine for both of you.

Sure, sometimes he’d try to kiss you, but you wrote it off as him just being in the moment and were always able to deny him. You’ve given him a handjob, and he’s absolutely fingered you into oblivion, but never what you were about to do.

You lightly kiss his knee, urging him to spread his legs and scoot forward so you can fit between them, kissing up his soft thighs until you’re finally where you want to be. Your eyes meet his one more time for permission, waiting for the small nod he gives you before you gently hold his erection up, giving soft kisses and kitten licks up the base, the hisses coming from his mouth urging you to keep going as you reach the tip.

“Please don’t tease, love.” A hand finds its way into your hair and tugs as your tongue dances along the tip. You smile to yourself, laying your tongue flat and sliding him down your throat in one go until your nose barely touches his pelvis. The hand not tangled in your hair smacks down on the couch cushion beside him as he groans at the sudden overwhelming pleasure of your throat wrapped perfectly around him.

“Fuck. Just like that.” His hand in your hair brings you up for a moment before easing your mouth back down around his cock. You let out a small moan around him, letting your gag reflex kick in just enough to drag another groan out from his chest as you begin moving up and down, your hands gripping his thighs.

“Wait, wait, love, wait.” He pulls you off him, watching you take in a deep breath, a mixture of spit and precum trailing down your chin. “Fuck, get up here.” He murmurs, leaning in to kiss you.

Yoongi pulls you back up to the couch, keeping your lips on his as you pull off your leggings before crawling back onto his lap. Big hands massage your thighs as you pull away long enough to remove your baggy sweater and bra, tossing them next to his pants. You surge forward to kiss him again but he doesn’t let you, hands sliding down your waist to hold you back a distance to admire your body.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” He whispers it mostly to himself, a hand trailing lower, his thumb gently stroking just above where you want him over your underwear. You both look down to watch as his thumb finds its destination, rubbing the cloth against your wet folds. You hear Yoongi let out a sigh; neither of you were aware he was holding.

“Tell me I can finally taste you, love.” Your eyes flit up to his half-closed ones.

You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t be doing any of this. You shouldn’t have let him kiss you, shouldn’t have kissed him back, shouldn’t have gone down on him, and you absolutely shouldn’t let him go down on you. You shouldn’t do this. You should tell him no and make him leave. Finish your painting and text Jungkook when you’re home.

Fuck, you’re going to have to text Jungkook later.

You need to send Yoongi home. Get him away from you.

End this.

End it now before it gets worse.

“Okay.” You nod, though the voices in your head are screaming at you. You ignore them, the feeling that Yoongi’s fingers provide feels too good, and you just want to feel good again after the pain in Kai’s room.

“Yeah?” Yoongi smiles, flipping you over to lay your back against the couch once you give him a small smile and another nod.

He barely gives you enough time to readjust before he’s burying his face between your legs, his tongue slowly dancing along the wet patch of your underwear, pausing only to listen to your moans.

“I could listen to your moans all day and never get tired of it.” You huff out a small laugh in response, a small gasp at the end when Yoongi lifts your hips enough to pull your underwear off.

Small wet kisses trail from your right knee to your inner thigh and are repeated on your left. Your breath catches with every kiss and it’s driving you crazy. You watch him as he kisses your lower stomach and anywhere he can that isn’t your glistening and throbbing center. He’s waiting. Waiting for you to say he can have you. Your hand reaches for his head, tugging his hair.

“Stop…” you breathe out. He sits up immediately, hovering over you.

“Stop? What happened? What’s wrong? What did I do? I’m sorry, I—”

“No.” You kiss him to shut up, “stop teasing. I can’t take it.”

The laugh he lets out is going to haunt you later. But for now, it’s music to your ears and you even join in as his head drops to your neck, kissing it once before moving back down.

He doesn’t even wait, licking straight up your folds before latching around your clit.

“Fuck!” You buck your hips up and his arms wrap around your hips, keeping you down as he devours you like a man starved.

You knew he was insanely good with his fingers, you didn’t expect this though. To be turned into a moaning mess just from his mouth. The intense pleasure builds up so fast and so harshly that you can barely hear him, only feel him moaning against your pussy. It’s when he inserts two fingers while sucking harshly on your clit that you lose it.

“Yoongi, I’m gonna…” your hands return to his hair, but instead of pulling him away from you, you press him closer, encouraging him to continue. “I”m close, Yoongi. Don’t fucking stop.”

He groans against you and it doesn’t take long before you’re coming undone for him, unable to control your hips or the tight grip you have on his hair. You come hard, tears spilling from your eyes as you try to remember how to breathe. You haven’t come this hard in months, writing it off immediately as not having anyone go down on you since Jihyo.

Yoongi doesn’t pull away until you’ve come down from your orgasm, almost bringing out a second one just because he can. But your whimpers from the overstimulation force him away, crawling back over you to kiss you again.

“You okay to keep going?” He mumbles his question against your lips and skin as he trails down your neck, settling behind your ear. He feels you nod against him and with one more kiss, he crawls off of you in search of his wallet in his jacket to get a condom.

You shouldn’t do this. You should tell him you’ve changed your mind. He should leave. You’ve already broken so many rules, rules you made with him that you just tossed out the window in a moment of weakness. When he comes back, you should push him away, ban his lips from yours, make him get dressed and leave.

Finish your painting.

Text Jungkook.

You’re doing it again, you’re hurting him. You told him it was just sex.

You lied.

Fuck, why did you lie again?

You shouldn’t let Yoongi kiss you anymore.

You shouldn’t.

But his lips are addicting and you crave them.

So when he comes back, the condom already rolled over his erection, you pull him down to you by his shirt, capturing his lips with yours. His hands wander your body as he settles between your legs, letting one hand grab your hip while the other guides his cock to your entrance, rubbing the head against your clit and swallowing your moans. When he pulls away from your lips for what feels like the last time, he looks up at you, soft eyes widening briefly as if he just realized what was happening.

“Hey…”

“Hi…” you whisper back, one of your hands leaving the tight grasp on his shirt to toy with the little pendant dangling from his neck.

“We’re breaking every rule, y/n…” The hand that was positioning himself moves up to push a piece of hair out of your face. You offer a sad smile in return.

“I know.” your voice is barely audible, trying to keep it together.

“We should stop.” But he doesn’t move.

“We should,” and neither do you, “but…”

“But?” an eyebrow raises and you can’t look at him anymore, focusing only on the pendant.

“I don’t want to.” The words barely squeak out of you. When he doesn’t respond, you have to force yourself to look back at him. “To stop, I mean. I don’t…I don’t want to stop.” Eyes cast back down to the pendant. “If you don’t want to, I mean.”

You feel his eyes on you as the silence continues.

He suggested stopping first, so he probably wanted to stop. You shouldn’t have said anything and just stopped like he clearly wanted to. Now he probably thinks he has to go through with it just to make you happy. Why the hell did you say you didn’t want to stop?

You need to stop, and you shouldn’t continue.

But wanting to stop and needing to stop are two very different things.

“I want to if you want to, y/n. This is all your decision, love.”

You take a deep breath, biting your lower lip as you look down admiring the man on top of you. You’re completely naked, but he still has his shirt on, covering up the scars you’ve only gotten glimpses of. You snake a hand down to crawl underneath the shirt, gently running the pads of your fingers across the part of a scar you have seen. Yoongi’s breath catches in his throat as he rests his forehead against yours, eyes shut. You feel his abs tensing, like they’re scared of you, before relaxing against your touch. You watch him for a moment, unable to look anywhere else.

Suddenly want and need are the same thing.

Suddenly this is more than sex.

This is more than feelings.

This is comfort. Safety. A need and a want to feel again; to not be afraid all of the time. And to forget.

Yoongi is that for you whether you want to admit it or not. Jungkook is your safety blanket, he’s what keeps you warm and tucked away when you’re scared. But a safety blanket can be suffocating sometimes. You need room to breathe, to forget and do stupid shit you’re afraid of, knowing there’s someone by your side feeling the same way.

Yoongi.

“Okay.” You whisper, placing a small kiss on his nose. His eyes fly open to meet yours. A grin threatening to escape.

“Okay? You’re okay with this?” He returns your nose kiss when you say yes, peppering your face with more after.

Once you’re giggling from the kiss attack, he lines himself back up with you, slowly pushing in. You wrap your arms around him as he buries his face in your neck, leaving little love bites that you’ll regret later but love for now.

This stretch is different that the other times you’ve had sex with Yoongi. Usually, it’s fast and rough, barely enough time to feel the stretch or adapt to it. This time, Yoongi takes it slow, pushing in inch by inch until he is fully buried inside of you. He stills for a moment, kissing along your neck.

“So tight, so perfect.” He mumbles against your throat, smiling when he feels your breath catch in your throat after he slowly pulls out and rolls his hips back into you as deep as possible. Your nails dig into his shoulders at the sensation and your back arches up towards him.

He takes it agonizingly slowly. You love it for the new sensation of pleasure it gives, but you hate it because it’s allowing you to think.

“Yoongi. Harder, please.” You moan out, a hand finding its way to his blonde hair and tangling your fingers in it. You feel a puff of air against your neck when Yoongi brings himself up to look at you.

“If we’re breaking your rules, love. We’re breaking all of them.”

You whine, bringing his grinning lips back to yours in a searing kiss.

“Please, Yoongi. I need it.” You beg.

You never beg, not with him. Every time you had sex, you would become the sweet submissive that didn’t speak unless told to when he would ruin you in his bed. Which was fine, it was part of the last rule. Nothing near lovemaking or too intimate. And hard, rough, and silent felt like the perfect method to avoid breaking that rule.

“Please.” Your lips trail from his to his chin, “ruin me like usual, please. Please, I just want to feel you.” You kiss along his jaw and down to the column of his neck.

“Please?”

He says nothing, but you feel the growl in his throat against your lips. He takes your hand away from his hair, bringing your other hand with it, pinning them both above your head. He rests his forehead against yours again, taking a deep breath before slamming his hips into yours without warning. You yelp a moan and he lets out a breathy laugh as he does it again.

“Is that what you want?” He does it again. “You want me to destroy this perfect cunt?” Another harsh thrust, rolling his hips so he gets deeper than before. “Want me to make it mine?”

“Yes. Yes, Yoongi, please. More.” You cry out, writhing underneath him, trying to make more friction.

He picks up the pace, and it feels back to what it was. Yoongi relentlessly fucking you, flipping you over at one point to be on your hands and knees as he takes you from behind, spanking you until your ass turns red.

When you alert him to being close to coming, his hand slides under you to rub circles against your clit. He pants, leaning over to place kisses on your shoulder as you come undone, clenching around him and losing the ability to hold yourself up. His orgasm quickly follows yours, spilling into the condom.

It’s silent for a moment, both of you struggling to breathe. After what felt like an hour, but was probably not even two minutes, Yoongi finds the strength to pull out, removing the condom and throwing it away. He rubs the parts of your skin that are red and sore, quietly apologizing when you wince.

“I’m going to find something to clean you up with, okay?” You slowly nod at his whisper, eyes feeling heavy, all the emotions suddenly becoming a pile of exhaustion.

It’s like your brain’s putting on a presentation being your eyelids, replaying the phone call with Jungkook, the panic attack in Kai’s room, the split-second decision to stop Yoongi from leaving, and the words said between you two.

You fucked up.

Again.

You don’t hear him leave the room, and barely notice his return or the feeling of him cleaning you or helping you get your sweater and underwear back on, too mentally and physically exhausted to do or say anything.

You do feel when he lays down on the couch, bringing you against him for the usual after-sex cuddle. His arm snakes around your back, resting on your waist while yours rests on his stomach, your face burying into his neck.

“You’re going to regret this later, aren’t you?” His voice is a low whisper, almost scared of asking. Your fingers find the hemline of his shirt, playing with the fabric and the loose threads.

“I don’t know…” Your reply is weak, cracking on the final word, and you can feel the tears start to form. So you shut your eyes, holding them back and instead listening to his breathing.

He doesn’t respond, just holds you closer and he seems to fall asleep, you joining a moment later.

When you wake up a few hours later, you and Yoongi have barely moved. His hand found a way up to your hair and the other hand was placed on your arm that was draped across his stomach. It felt warm, almost safe, but wrong.

So slowly, you pull yourself away from him, slipping off the couch without waking him up and sneak out to the little kitchen. Your hands shake as you pour out a glass of water, drinking as much as you can in one go. You repeat it two more times before your eyes land on the open door to your brother’s room. The sharp tug on your heart forces you to walk in.

It looks different than it did a few hours ago. Darker, abandoned, but still familiar. You sit in his chair, spinning slowly around to admire the way he decorated the studio.

A giant whiteboard with ideas that you don’t understand listed with random drawings you and Ryujin made one night in the bottom right corner. You did that months before finals, and he never erased them. Behind the whiteboard, was a wall painted completely in blackboard paint. He spent an entire day with Jungkook painting that wall before he realized how much he hated chalk. It quickly became doodle central, where the four of you drew randomly while bored or in a funk.

Right above the couch is one of the first drawings you did on the wall, an ambigram of the first letter of your names. Jungkook half-jokingly suggested the group get it tattooed one day.

This room is the same layout as yours, but rather than having the giant window wall showing the city below, he had wall-to-floor shades that would cover during the daytime so he wouldn’t have any glare on his monstrous computer setup. He always got so dramatic when you or Ryujin would try to use it, but never with Jungkook.

You reach out to turn it on, but freeze as your finger barely brushes over it.

They should be here. Ryujin should be here.

You pull your hand away, bringing your knees to your chest and hugging yourself in his chair as it spins a little from the adjustment.

“I miss you, baby brother. So much.” You softly whisper, leaning your head back and staring at the ceiling plastered with tiny plastic stars that are supposed to glow in the dark, but never do thanks to the heavy shades.

“I think I messed up tonight. But when am I not messing up, right?” A weak chuckle escapes your lips. “Y/n y/l/n, the screw-up of the family. Always finding a way to ruin a good thing in the biggest way possible…” you feel the tears slowly fall down your face and sniffle.

“But I think…I think this time, I really screwed up. And I can’t fix it. And I don’t know what to do.” You feel a small burn on your hand and look down to find yourself scratching the back of your hand again.

“Fuck. I hate this, Kai.” You mumble, soothing the burn with your thumb. “I need your help and it’s killing me that you’re not here.”

You sigh when there’s no response, forcing yourself out of his chair, stepping out of his room, and closing the door.

Yoongi is still fast asleep on your couch, a sharp stabbing feeling piercing your heart at the sight of him. He looks so content and at peace that you’re jealous of his ability to sleep so soundly without the voices yelling.

Your attention turns to the easel in the center of the room with the canvas barely painted. The paint still looks like various shades of black and white. Like a blurry mess of colors that you know are there but can’t see.

You pick it up, moving the easel away and propping the canvas against the pile of finished paintings on the floor. Dimming the lights, you sit down in front of it on the floor, putting your AirPods in and turning your Spotify on shuffle.

You bring up the photo of the tree you took earlier and set it next to the canvas and roll up your sleeves. You grab a brush, dip it in a random paint Yoongi picked out earlier, take a deep breath, and just go for it.

Somehow two hours have passed, and you’re applying the finishing touches, music still blasting in your ears so loud that you jump when you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders.

You turn to see a sleepy Yoongi tilting his head at you, mouth moving. You pause the music, take the AirPods out and place them next to your phone.

“Sorry for scaring you.” His voice is rough from the nap and you can’t help but smile when he kisses your temple.

“It’s okay.” You nod, letting out a small gasp when he sits behind you, lifting and pulling you back to sit on his lap, and scooting forward so you can keep painting. His arms wrap around your waist, letting them rest on your lap while his chin rests on your shoulder.

“Looks good, love.”

“I still can’t see the colors, though.” You mumble as you lean back into his chest to get a better view of the canvas, his arms tightening around you as you do.

“That doesn’t matter. It’s still beautiful.” He holds you close, leaving a few feather kisses on your shoulder, smiling to himself when he sees your skin grow goosebumps.

“What colors did you put on the palette anyway? Just so I have an idea of whatever the hell this is.” His laugh against your skin makes you smile in return. You pull one of his arms away from you, laying it flat and upside down on your lap as you use the brush to paint across his forearm, hoping you’d be able to see the color.

“I can’t tell you, love. You’ll know when you’re ready to see it. But it is a beautiful tree. Why’d you pick it?”

“It’s the giant oak tree in the middle of campus. We scheduled our classes together so there was always a time when we could sit together and just hang out, work on assignments, enjoy the weather, anything really. Always at the tree. It’s in Kai’s logo, it’s Jungkook’s favorite thing to photograph. Ryujin literally designed a dress based on this dumb tree.” You laugh, continuing to paint on his arm. You can’t see what color you’re using, but guessing from how dark it is, it’s something that contrasts perfectly with his skin.

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well,” his free arm unwraps from your waist, grabbing a different brush and painting music notes across the top of your thigh near your knee. “They all have the tree attached to something with their art. A hidden meaning of inspiration…what’s yours?”

You watch him paint on your leg what looks to be a specific pattern of music notes.

“I…I don’t know,” you admit with a whisper, putting your paintbrush down and resting your hands in your lap. “It’s just where I knew I could always find any of them. There or here, my safety zones.”

“So then this piece, even though you can’t see the colors right now, and the feeling of safety with it…that’s your hidden meaning and inspiration.”

You sigh, sinking a little further against his chest. You stare at the canvas, trying to see anything in the tree that, to you, is just a black and white tree on a canvas surrounded by colorful paintings all around it. A hideous darkness amongst bright and beautiful colors.

How you feel every day without your brother by your side.

“I guess.” You finally say, eyes flicking to his hand, putting the brush down and returning around your waist. You both stay silent for a moment, admiring your canvas. Your eyelids start to feel heavy, and you can feel them closing when you hear Yoongi speak.

“Fall was Karin’s favorite time of year.”

You freeze, eyes flying open at the mention of his sister.

“Yeah?” your voice cracks, and if Yoongi notices it, he ignores it.

“Yeah. She was obsessed with the colors of the leaves, the fall drinks like that disgusting pumpkin spice latte, the fall outfits, the weather, all of it. It would've been fall if she could have one season all year round.”

You don’t respond. The feeling of happiness over him talking about his sister was too overwhelming. He rarely discussed her in group therapy, never spoke her name until tonight, and always changed the conversation topic .

“We would go to the pumpkin patch every year and pick out the quote ‘undesirable’ pumpkins, and she’d make pumpkin pie with my mom.” He laughs, but it’s sad. You want to turn around and comfort him, but you stay frozen in his arms, your thumb pressing into the space between your other thumb and index finger.

“She wanted to learn how to bake so badly. To be like our mother and know all the family recipes. She wanted to be the one to make all the Christmas cookies every year, to be in charge of pies during the holidays, make everyone’s birthday cakes…”

His voice trails off, burying his face into your shoulder in an attempt to hide from the silence. Your mind is racing with different things to say. You have no idea how to comfort him. No idea how to tell him he’ll be okay. How can you? When you don’t even believe it when someone says it to you? So you say the only thing you can think of.

“I make a mean pumpkin pie.”

You can feel his torso shake as he laughs against your shoulder. He lifts his head, resting his cheek on your shoulder so he can look at you.

“Yeah? You bake?”

“Sometimes. Or I used to, before Kai… I would stress bake.”

“Stress baking? That’s new.” You shake your head slightly.

“Not really. I don’t know. There’s just something satisfying about baking when stressed. It’s like you’re baking your problems into the baked goods, and then you let other people eat it, thus taking away the stress.”

“Hmm…I like that. Telling everyone your secrets without saying a word.” His voice is quiet as his hands slide away from your waist, landing on your hands.

He pulls them apart, fingers intertwining with both, and goes back to hugging you, technically making you hug yourself. You slouch further against him, his lips right next to your ear.

“Would you want to go to a pumpkin patch with me?” His voice is hesitant. He knows he’s walking a fine line in asking you to go out with him. But he has to at least try.

You lean to the side a little, turning to look at the man whose arms are wrapped around you and whose lap you’re sitting in. Your eyes meet, and you can’t help but melt under his gaze. It’s warm and hopeful, and you want so badly to give in to the chance that maybe it could work.

You should say no.

End this.

End it now and pretend nothing ever happened.

End this.

“Okay,” your answer is barely audible to either of you, but his soft smile that he’s trying to hide confirms that he did hear you.

“Okay.” He repeats it back, giving a small nod against your shoulder.

You bring your gaze back to the painting, no longer trying to see the colors, just needing an excuse to not look at him anymore. You lose your sense of reasoning around him, and you hate it. But you love having him around. There’s no winning situation when it comes to Yoongi, especially if Jungkook finds out.

“Hey.” Yoongi’s voice pulls you out of your little mental spiral, and you look back at him, blinking away the tears you hadn’t noticed forming. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nod quickly, making him let go of one of your hands so you can quickly wipe the tears. “I don’t know. It’s just a lot happening at once. I don’t know what’s what anymore.”

“That’s fair. But it’s okay, love. I’m here as long as you need me.”

You wish he didn’t say that.

You don’t reply, instead just giving another small nod. The hand that lets go of yours reaches up for your cheek, turning you to stay facing him.

“I know this is all happening at once, y/n. We’ve both been through something really shitty, and maybe this is a terrible idea.” Your eyes widen in panic, you know where this is going and immediately start preparing for a way out.

“But I think it goes without saying that I really like–”

You thank every god to ever exist when your phone rings. You lean forward to grab the device, saving you from an awkward conversation, sliding off his lap in the process.

Incoming Call: 🍞Ry-Bread👗

“Oh, fuck,” you stand up, eyes flicking from your phone to Yoongi sitting on the floor, looking confused and almost hurt, and back to your phone.

“I’m sorry. She…she rarely calls now,” you mutter, answering the phone before he can say anything and stepping into the living area.

“Ry? Everything okay?” You ask hesitantly, pacing around the couch.

The last time she called was three weeks ago, sobbing hysterically about how Kai’s death wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t date Jihyo. If you had just stopped sleeping or dating around, your brother wouldn’t be dead. So naturally, you’re terrified of what’s to come from the other line.

“Y/n? Y/n, I need you. I fucked up. Please, y/n. I know you hate me. I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry. But please, I need you.”

Well, that’s different.

“Ry, where are you?”

“I’m at a club. The one by my work.” She sounds so broken and so drunk that your heart feels heavy just listening to her.

“What happened, Ry? Are you safe? Are you okay?” You put the phone on speaker and return to your room, walking right past Yoongi sitting on the couch, pants already back on. You put the phone on the table as you search for your leggings and bra.

“I’m okay. I just…my ride left me, and I can’t…I can’t get home.” Her mumbles are soft, tired, and hard to understand as you toss your clothes on, quickly moving to find your bag and keys.

“Are there any Ubers or taxis in the area?”

“No. Just come get me, please.”

“Okay, Ry, I’m on the way. Please, stay in the club until I’m there, okay? Promise me?” She softly agrees, and you hang up the phone, finally turning to Yoongi, who’s ready to go.

“Is she okay?” he questions as if he didn’t just listen to your phone call.

“I think so? I don’t know. This is new. I have to go get her.”

“You’re going to walk over there?”

“I have no choice, Yoongi.” Your shoulders shrug as you usher him out the door and close it behind you, leaving the canvas behind. you decide it’s easier to just come back for it before class than going to a club with it in your hand. You make sure all the lights are off before locking up the front door as you both exit.

“You do have a choice, y/n. The bus should still be running.”

“I’m not getting on the bus.”

“I’m sure there’s a rideshare in this area.”

“I’m not letting a stranger drive.” You state as you both get in the elevator.

“We can go back to the library, I’ll get my car, and I can take you over there and take you two home.”

“I’ve never experienced you driving. You’re as much of a stranger in that department as any taxi driver.” You bite back, quickly exiting when the elevator reaches the bottom floor.

“Not if you let me try.”

“I don’t want you to try. I don’t need help right now, Yoongi. I just need to get to Ryujin. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you on Saturday.” You walk faster out the front door, turning down the sidewalk in the direction of Ryujin’s work. It’s not that far from the studio, but it’s starting to get chilly out, and your sweater is thin.

“Y/n, it’s one in the morning. You’re not walking by yourself! I’ll come with you.” Yoongi practically shouts as he tries to catch up to you.

“I’ll be fine.” You snap, turning to him when he finally does make it to you. That same look of confusion and hurt from earlier looks like the same look you often see on another man’s face, and you have to stop yourself and take a breath.

“I need to help her alone, Yoongi. It’s the opposite direction of the school so it’s better if you just go home and I’ll go find Ry and take her home. I’ll be fine.”

“Y/n, you’re insane if you think I’m going to let you go alone.”

“Then I guess I’m insane!” You shout, not giving a damn about the time or the fact that you’re outside.

“Thank you, Yoongi, for helping me finish my painting. Thank you for forcing me to go into Kai’s room, and thank you for helping me through my panic attack. But, fuck, I have to go, so just drop it and go home. I’ll text you when I get there if you want.”

Yoongi sighs, not wanting to bother with arguing with you. He knows he won’t win.

“Fine. But if anything feels off, let me know, and I’ll be there immediately.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” He snaps with an extra hint of an attitude. You ignore it as you both turn to walk in the opposite direction of one another.

You’re going to have to apologize later. You’re always apologizing. It’s exhausting.

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