#Sorry for the negativity after being quiet over here for so long

[shuawonie]

(in)visible.

pairing | yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

genre | fluff, angst, college au, hidden relationship au, non-idol au, comfort

word count | 7k

warnings | use of pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart), kissing, slight harrasment, mention of abusive behavior, alcohol consumption, jealousy, swearing, soft but also sometimes possesive jeonghan 😩 big angst bro-, THE SAINT LAURENT JEONGHAN???? (on my knees fr)

summary: he decided to give you time, to let you feel comfortable with him and everything else. but you don’t want and need it anymore. you want to be visible. you want the two of you to be visible to the others. that you’re his and he’s yours.

a/n: oh my god.. my writer's block really hit me hard like a truck 😭 i’m so sorry for not posting anything for past few months.. </3 however ! here’s the small gift for you guys <3 hope u enjoy !

(i have already planned new jeonghan fanfiction and i’m SO proud of myself, watch me get the writer’s block again and post it after months again LMAOO)

i got you, you got me,

when it's us, babe,

you make me feel complete.

you're all i need.

Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?

That was the question which was asked probably the most past days on your campus.

You could hear it everywhere. People were gossiping about in the hallways, in the bathroom, in the cafteria and even during the lectures, trying to get to the truth.

Is he single or not?

This whole situation began when someone from the campus took a photo of him, hanging out with a girl and holding her hand with a big smile on his lips. The face of the mysterious girl wasn’t shown in the picture, which is why they were wondering who it might be and if she’s his girlfriend.

Jeonghan was a 3rd year student and as far as everyone had known, he was staying single for a long time already. But now, nothing was sure.

People had mixed opinions on it. Some were happy for him that he found somebody to love, some were just really confused while not wanting to believe it's true, and the last group was really negative about it (thinking they even had a chance with Jeonghan, pfft).

However, it was obvious that everyone wanted to know the truth.

Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?

However, only two people knew the answer to it.

Yoon Jeonghan himself, and you.

Jeonghan came out from the lecture class with his black messenger bag overhanged across his chest while being deeply immersed in his phone, when Seungkwan, campus’ sweet boy, joined him by his side.

“Hello Jeonghan!” he started enthusiastically, “How’s your day? Are you okay?” the boy blinked a few times and sent him a cute smile, while taking a sip of his beloved iced americano.

Jeonghan frowned, looking at him quite suspiciously.

“Hi,” he mumbled, letting out a sheepish chuckle, “Yea, I’m fine. Just finished my schedule, and I’m a bit tired. And you?” Jeonghan asked, continuing the conversation as the two of them slowly walked towards the entrance of the campus.

“Uhh.. I still have one lecture left, so I need to stay.” Seungkwan pouted, making the other boy smile, “Are you meeting someone? Or going home by yourself?” the sunshine boy asked, making Jeonghan stop mid-step, crossing his arms over his chest.

He looked at the younger boy with an amused expression as he snickered, “Seungkwanie, come on. Don’t tell me you’re also into this whole gossip trend on our campus.”

“Oh, hyung! But is that true? Are you seriously in a relationship?” Seungkwan questioned, tilting his head to the side, while wishing to get the answer everyone wanted to know. “Please! I won’t tell anyone.” he pouted.

Jeonghan let out a quiet snort, while looking to the side as he was kind of getting tired after hearing another person ask him that question.

Why was everyone suddenly so curious about it?

“I’m sorry Kwannie, but I won't tell you. Nice try though.” Jeonghan muttered, fixing his bag on his side, “See you tomorrow.”

Then, he turned around and walked out, leaving the younger boy and all of the gossip behind him in that building.

December's cold, evening breeze hit Jeonghan’s face, finally letting him breathe out in relief. The boy placed the hood over his head, tugging his hands into the pockets of his big hoodie.

He did it. He survived another day without getting caught.

Gosh.. it was so hard for him not to react every time he passed next to you in the hallways. To not stare at your beautiful face for too long, to not send you a soft smile, to not yield his food to you at the cafeteria or just hold your hand. He wanted to do it so badly, and many times he caught himself almost doing it.

But at the same time, Jeonghan was aware that even the smallest thing that could have been taken as ‘more than close friends’, might have caused suspicions from your or his friends. Which you two wanted to avoid at all cost. At least for now.

Your relationship had to stay invisible to people around you.

Even though the boy didn’t like that idea at first, after some time you two agreed that for now you won’t show your relationship in public, especially in college.

Jeonghan decided to give you time to get comfortable as it was your first relationship after being in a really harmful and traumatic one in the senior class at highschool. Your ex was a very cute and nice guy at the beggining who later turned into being really abusive towards you, especially verbally. And when you revealed at the beggining, that you two are dating, a lot of people abandoned you, leaving you behind with the problem that after a while you were forced to deal with all alone.

That’s mostly why you weren’t sure if you wanted to reveal your new relationship. And it’s not that you didn’t trust Jeonghan, because you did. You trusted him as no one else. But because of your past, you were not certain if you could go through that all over again.

Jeonghan couldn’t wait to finally see you, after this long and tiring day. He really wanted to hug you close and tell you how good you looked today. Because he missed you. Your voice, your smile, your smell, your warmth and your touch. He missed every single thing about you, and he hasn't interacted with you for only around 6 hours (not counting all of the texts that the two of you shared today).

Rushing towards your apartment with a bag of takeout food that he bought on the way, Jeonghan was already thinking what you two could do tonight. But the truth was that even if you two laid in your bed, cuddling, he was okay with it. Because what mattered to him was spending his time with you. Not the activity you did.

Right after only one ring to the door, you opened it with a tired smile visible on your face. You were already dressed in your kuromi pyjamas (to which Jeonghan had a matching, ‘my melody’ one), wearing fluffy socks.

Your boyfriend giggled, excited about seeing you and finally having you for himself only.

“Hi.” he said gently, with a bright smile shining on his face.

“Hi.” you replied softly, while connecting your hand with his, taking him into your apartment, and closing your door right behind him.

“I brought food!~" the boy cheered, taking his shoes off by his heels. You couldn’t help but melt, and a bright smile appeared on your lips.

The boy swung the bag in the air with a big smile, and you approached him, slowly kissing his cheek while thanking him sincerely. Then, he quickly placed the bag on the floor and wrapped his hands around your waist, hugging you tightly to his body.

Jeonghan laid his forehead on your shoulder, “I’m tired.” he murmured, closing his eyes while sighing, “I need to recharge.”

A smile creeped onto your lips as you slowly started to play with Jeonghan’s hair, him still being close to you.

“Don’t worry, baby. We have time.” you smiled, caressing his head. You let him ‘recharge’ as the boy didn’t move away from you for even a second.

“You’re doing a great job, Hannie.” finally, you broke the silence, feeling how he snuggled closer into the crook of your neck. The scent of your body has always had a calming effect on Jeonghan, and it wasn’t different now.

“I can’t believe that acting like a stranger with my girlfriend might be that tiring.” he murmured into your skin, immediately catching you off guard.

Your face saddened in the split of the second, with the feeling of guilt starting to take over you.

“Hannie-”

“No, it’s okay.” the boy looked up at you, with his shining, full of understanding eyes, “We both agreed on it after all. And I want you to feel comfortable when you’re with me. So I won’t pressure you into doing things you’re not okay with.” he added, and gently cupped your face with his hands, admiring your features.

“I’m sorry..” you mumbled, feeling the lump in your throat, “I’m sorry that because of me you have to pretend something you don’t want to, but.. please, believe me that I’m really.. really trying to somehow overcome this-”

Jeonghan quickly placed his lips on top of yours, connecting you in a gentle kiss, while stopping you from speaking more. At first your whole body stiffened, not expecting this. But the feeling of Jeonghan’s soft lips on top of yours started to overwhelm you, making you crave for more of him.

However, before you could even react and reciprocate his sweet action, Jeonghan already moved away from you, sending you a reassuring smile.

“Let’s eat, darling. I’m sure you’re hungry.” the boy suggested, and took the bag from the floor, making his way to your kitchen.

“And then I need to put my baby to sleep.” Jeonghan giggled, to which you quickly responded with a scoff, “I’m not a baby anymore.” you muttered, but the smirk was still present on your lips.

You quickly followed right after him, sitting by the kitchen island as you silently watched him take out the containers with food.

But the slight feeling of guilt hasn’t left you at all, making you stay up at night, tossing around in the bed, overthinking everything, while being tightly hugged from the back by Jeonghan.

Should you finally become visible to people?

Or should you let things stay as they’re now?

“So..” Millie — your best friend, started and you looked at her suspiciously.

The two of you were coming back from the nearest coffee shop after buying a coffee to go for yourselves. This small break was good for you as you still had this one lecture to survive.

“So?”

“I met a guy.” she said while covering her face as she already knew how you’re going to react.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes whilw tilting your head to the side. “Millie, I swear to god..”

“But listen!” she interrupted, “He’s actually really nice and he cares for the others a lot! He’s the greatest gentleman I know! And you won’t believe me, but he’s actually close friends with Yoon Jeonghan.” after hearing that name, your eyes immediately widened.

You choked on your drink, immediately starting to cough, “Ooh..” you started trying to stabilize your voice, “What’s his name?” you asked, quickly realizing that you sounded too interested about that.

Even though you remembered a few of Jeonghan’s friends as he was sometimes going out or just talking about them with you, you were really curious which one stole Millie’s heart.

She grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly, “Hong Joshua! Can you believe he’s also half american half korean? Just like me!” the girl exclaimed while grinning.

“Yeah, I’m happy for you-” you mumbled while trying to get off her hand, that was slowly starting to make your palm feel numb.

“I think we can even go and meet him now! Joshie said he’ll wait for me by the entrance.” Millie giggled just at the thought of the boy, and already started walking faster, leaving you behind.

You looked at her with some pity written on your face as you shook your head and followed her steps.

A few minutes later, the two of you were already standing by the entrance, waiting for Joshua to join you. On the way, Millie already told you that you’ll have this lecture together.

“He texted me he’ll be here any second!” Millie cheered, showing you the text that he sent her a few seconds ago. And as Joshua said, several seconds later, you two noticed him going towards you. However, he wasn’t alone.

Yoon Jeonghan, who was smiling brightly while listening to Joshua, accompanied him. It made your breath immediately hitch in your lungs.

Oh shit. You haven’t thought about the fact that he might actually come right now with Joshua.

“Hi Joshie!” Millie shouted enthusiastically, waving to the boy to get his attention. As soon as Joshua noticed Millie, his face brightened up as his eyes turned into two small crescents and a cute smile adorned his lips.

But you had your eyes stuck on him. And so did he, with a slight smirk that creeped onto his lips.

“Hi y/n! Millie talked a lot about you, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Joshua greeted you, sending you one of his charming smiles to which you smiled back.

“This is my friend, Jeonghan.” he added, making you move your gaze at the mentioned boy, only to find him already staring at you.

There was a short silence before you decided to make the move.

“Hi.” you finally uttered, smiling gently.

“Hi.” Jeonghan replied, the same way as he had always greeted you.

It was your small tradition that only you two understood. Each of the smallest ‘hi’ you said, also meant ‘i missed you’ or ‘i love you’ at the same time.

“Oh, right, I almost forgot to tell you!” Millie said suddenly, making you twitch.

“Today, together with some other people from campus, we’re going to a barbeque restaurant! If you want to, you can join us. I think it’s going to be more fun and less uncomfortable if you’ll be there.” the girl remarked, and sent you a pleading look.

You looked at Jeonghan, searching for an answer on his face and he silently nodded, “Yeah, I can join you guys. And y/n too.” the boy answered, and shifted his eyes back to you.

“Perfect!” the girl cheered while hugging Joshua’s arm, “Then we see each other tonight at 6PM! I’ll send you the localisation later. But now let’s get going, the lecture is about to start!” she added, and then Millie pulled Joshua to the lecture hall, leaving you two behind.

“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked, worried by the absent look in your eyes.

You smiled briefly, “Yeah.. I’m just a bit tired. I just need to survive this one last hour. But now let’s go, we don’t want them to get suspicious, do we?” sending a small wink to Jeonghan, you quickly followed your best friend’s steps to the hall, with Jeonghan going right behind you, not being able to hide the smirk on his lips.

When you sat down in the hall room, several students were already there. Millie sat next to Joshua, and Jeonghan decided that you'll sit in the row behind them.

As soon as the lecture started, you placed your arms on the desk and laid down. The feeling of tiredness after not getting enough sleep tonight was taking over you, making it really hard for you to survive this day.

However, it didn’t go unnoticed by Jeonghan that you looked exhausted. Gently, he removed your hair that got in the way, and stroked your back.

He leaned closer and whispered, “How about you rest a bit, hm? I’ll take the needed notes for us, so you don’t have to worry.”

You smiled gently, melting inside from the softness and care that the boy treated you with. Nodding softly, you whispered a small ‘thank you’ to Jeonghan.

Opening your eyes one last time, you saw Jeonghan’s focused face. He was playing with the pen in his hand as he always had to have something in his hand.

As you shifted your gaze to Millie, you immediately noticed that compared to your boyfriend, the girl wasn’t paying attention to the lecture at all. She probably wasn’t even planning on doing it, because Millie was busy studying the boy next to her. Smiling weakly at the mere sight, you closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

Little did you know, Jeonghan also decided to follow Millie’s steps after some time.

“Hi angel, are you ready?”

Jeonghan peeked into your room as you were finishing getting ready for the night out. You looked up at him in the mirror, and the boy smoothly came closer to you with a smirk playing on his lips. He bent down to be on your eye level, and looked at you from the back by the mirror. The scent of his freshly applied perfume and shower gel hit your nose, showing that he just finished getting ready.

You two came back from the college around two hours ago. At the end of the lecture, the boy patted your arm gently, whispering your name to wake you up. He caught himself smiling at the sight of your sleeping figure, but quickly scolded himself for it, remembering that he has to take notes and act completely unaffected by you.

Not going to lie, it quickly became a big challenge for him.

The boy was wearing a black silk shirt with a deep neckline, paired with black loose pants. His hair was freshly styled, with his bangs resting right over his eyes. He looked incredibly attractive at that moment, making you rethink about how it is even possible that a man and an angel like him is actually your boyfriend.

You, on the other hand, did natural make-up, and wore a black dress that hugged your body perfectly, reaching around your calves area, with a deep cut that reached right above your knee. Your hair was left loose, and with a delicate gold necklace that Jeonghan gifted you on your birthday, your whole look was finished.

It was indeed intentional to choose an outfit that would match Jeonghan’s, and vice versa (but not too obvious). However, the more you thought about it, the more you were starting to doubt if you should go with that dress. Of course you wanted to look elegant and step out of your comfort zone a bit, but you quickly started to think if it was really worth it.

And just as if your boyfriend heard your thoughts, he whispered into your ear, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Jeonghan left a sweet peck on your cheek, “You don’t have to feel unsafe or uncomfortable. I promise I’ll be there to protect you everytime, at any cost.” he added, solving all of the problems that you could have been thinking at that moment.

The boy moved away a bit, finally allowing you to let out the breath that you didn’t even realize you’ve been holding the whole time. The scent of him was always really strong and just being by his side, you thought that you might go insane by any second.

Soon later, the two of you finally left your apartment, and sat comfortably in Jeonghan’s car that he parked in front of your house. Your way to the restaurant went actually really comfortably, and even when you didn’t say much, Jeonghan tightly held his hand intertwined with yours, whispering from time to time compliments to you.

When you entered the restaurant, Millie, Joshua and some other people that you didn’t really know were already sitting by the table. As soon as your best friend noticed you, she yelled your name and waved to you. The two of you joined the group, and you sat down next to Millie and a guy that you didn’t know. Jeonghan sat on the other side of the table, next to Joshua, and a girl who was really known in your college, Siyeon.

“I’m glad you guys actually made it!” Joshua cheered, and you smiled at him.

“Why did you two come together?” Siyeon asked, “Are you two dating or something?” she added, gaining everyone’s attention as everyone heard about the gossip.

She always knew how to get people to look at her. Siyeon was not only called the goddess of the campus, but also she made it with her attitude. And even now, she successfully gained everyone’s gaze by looking at her and at you two, while smirking lazily.

Her question made you immediately start to panic inside, but you were trying to not show it that much on the outside. Not knowing how to respond, you looked at Jeonghan, frightened. The boy immediately read from your facial expression what’s happening, and he decided to take action.

The boy laughed out loud, “Oh come on, guys! Does really everything have to be about dating? I just gave y/n a ride because it’s dark already, and she lives near me.”

Smooth.

Jeonghan looked at you, and sent you an apologetic look, “We’re just friends. We’re not in a relationship, guys.” he added, making the others start joking and laughing because of this situation.

Oh.

Even though you knew that the boy did it to protect you, and your relationship, you still felt that stinging pain in your heart.

But actually, what did you expect? Jeonghan did what he had to do to keep your relationship a secret. Something that you two agreed to do, especially because of you.

So why did you feel that way? Maybe.. just maybe, you deeply hoped that he would admit it, and say that you’re his girlfriend.

“Hey, you okay?” you heard Millie’s whisper by your ear, bringing you back from your thoughts.

You nodded, chuckling from embarrassment, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” she stroked your arm gently while sending you a reassuring smile, and you sent her a small smile, reaching for your glass of water to take a sip.

When all of you ordered, and the food together with alcohol was finally brought, your group started to eat, while telling stories, joking around, and slowly getting more drunk.

You weren’t really a fan of drinking as you had a light head, so you were always the responsible one for Millie as she always wanted to drink. But even now, when she had Joshua by her side, you still decided not to drink.

Jeonghan always reminded and assured you, that you shouldn’t worry about not drinking anymore. He insisted, that if you’d want to have some fun with friends then you shouldn’t stop yourself, because he’ll be there to protect you and take you home afterwards. But even when you knew he truly meant it, you still decided to stick by your glass of water.

Millie was already clinging to Joshua, already getting tipsy from the drinks she drank. People were laughing loudly at something and you were sitting silently, listening while finishing your portion of tteokbokki that you decided to have. A few minutes later, Jeonghan excused himself by the need to go to the toilet.

As soon as he disappeared by the corner, the boy next to you named Changmin, who also drank a few bottles of soju after the challenges the boys from your college made, turned around and suddenly shouted, “Oh y/n!” what made you immediately look at him, not knowing what was happening.

Then, the boy leaned closer to you, making you widen your eyes and he clumsily sweeped some of the sauce with his thumb, that was in the corner of your lips.

Unfortunately, while being already tipsy from the alcohol, he made even a bigger mess on your face as he not only smeared the sauce to your chin but also some of your lipstick.

“Oops!” he laughed goofily, and some of the boys that were there started to laugh with him.

You just hoped that someone would somehow help you. But Millie was already passed out on the chair, with Joshua being concerned about her. Other girls, including Siyeon, were busy gossiping and drinking more soju. So you were left alone with this situation.

Quickly, you reached for the napkin that was near your bowl, and turned slightly to the side, gently removing the sauce and leftovers from your lipstick. You felt embarrassed because of what happened, just as if that boy fully meant to do it.

But it wasn’t funny to you at all.

Changmin looked at you one more time before smacking your thigh with his palm and squeezing it slightly. You widened your eyes as you were flabbergasted what just happened. And in the split of the second, you pushed his hand away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you asked angrily, as you immediately felt uncomfortable but also pissed by the boy’s sudden action.

“Aww, poor baby is not in the mood,” he chuckled and reached for his chopsticks to take another piece of the tteokbokki from your plate and put it in front of your mouth.

“We need to feed the baby, say aaaaah~”

You hit his hand away once again, and the boys around started to laugh even more, making you feel ashamed. The tears from helpless frustration started to sting your eyes, but you strongly resisted to open your mouth and eat the tteokbokki that Changmin put in front of you once again.

“Come on, y/n! Say a-”

“I’m sure y/n is not hungry anymore.”

You heard a voice from behind you, and the person quickly pushed Changmin’s arm away. You looked up, seeing Jeonghan’s serious face behind you. He took a quick glance at you, immediately noticing the tears that swelled in your eyes.

Your boyfriend grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, the chair squeaking by the sudden drag.

“Oh come one, dude!” one of the boys shouted, but he was totally ignored by Jeonghan.

He quickly hid your fragile body behind his silhouette, looking into your eyes which glistened with tears.

Jeonghan cupped your cheeks with his hands, “Talk to me, angel. Did he hurt you?” he whispered gently, looking at you intensively.

You didn’t respond to him, tears glistening in your eyes.

The boy cursed under his breath, quickly focusing on you once again, “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry angel that I left you here alone..” he whispered, gently kissing your forehead, “I’ll take you home now.”

“Jeonghan, dude! Your friend is so damn pretty,” Changmin yelled, lazily getting up from the chair, stumbling over his own legs, “Can I have her number? You know that I like girls like her, especially in bed.”

You could see how Jeonghan’s face immediately darkened, and he let out a loud scoff after hearing the boy’s question. He took a deep breath and grasped your hand.

“Okay, then I’ll text you later!” Changmin shouted.

Not even glancing back anymore you two left the restaurant, immediately getting into Jeonghan’s car.

This time, the silence was really uncomfortable, compared to the time you drove here. The atmosphere between you not knowing why thickened.

During the whole way home, Jeonghan was silent. He focused on the road, still holding your hand, and only taking small glances at you from time to time. There were a few times when you wanted to say something, but as your mouth opened, nothing came out. You thought as if you’re going to explode from the nervousness you felt at that moment.

When you finally reached your apartment, you walked into it silently, taking off your coats and shoes.

You knew that the boy was trying to give you some time and space, but as you’ve already known Jeonghan well, you knew that something was bothering him as well.

The boy muttered something about getting a glass of water for himself, and you, feeling guilty about everything that had happened, decided to follow him to the kitchen like a puppy.

He took a glass for himself and also for you, and poured some water for you to drink before drinking from his glass. But you had other plans than drinking that stupid water.

You knew it was finally the time to destroy the wall between the two of you.

“Jeonghan-” you said, but in the blink of an eye his glass hit the hard surface of your kitchen island and he scooped you up, placing you on the countertop.

Jeonghan’s arms rested by the two of your sides, securing you, as he stood between your legs. He was silent, with his head lowered.

Your heart was beating like crazy and your breathing sped up. You had no idea what you should do in this situation.

“It’s so.. fucking frustrating.” the boy hissed, still not looking at you. You decided to give him time and you waited for him patiently.

Finally, after a while the boy raised his head, looking straight into your eyes. As he was slightly bent down, his eyes were on the same level as your, dangerously close to your face.

“It’s so fucking frustrating, that people can’t see that we are together. That you can’t call me yours, and I can’t call you mine. That I have to tell everyone that we’re just friends. That we can’t have any, even the smallest interactions..” he stopped for a second, being completely drowned in your eyes.

“Please.. y/n.” Jeonghan sighed painfully, “Can’t you see how hard I’m trying? Just give.. us a chance. I will show you that we can be together in the public, and that we can survive by being by each other’s side. Because I love you, y/n.”

And for the first time in your life, you saw Jeonghan's eyes fill with tears, making it really hard for you to also not tear up.

“A-and..” he stuttered, as his voice slowly started to break.

“Recently I’m not even sure anymore if you still love me the same way as I do.”

Ouch.

Just one sentence. Small like a needle, but painful like a knife.

You immediately cupped Jeonghan’s face, wiping his tears away with your thumb. The boy had stuck his eyes still to yours, desperately looking for an answer.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so so.. sorry, that I made you feel that way..” you uttered, “I was blind, mainly following my feelings and needs, while not focusing enough on yours, which you also had.” you stopped for a second, taking a big breath to not let your voice break.

“You’ve always been so patient with me, always honest and so soft with the way you treated me.. You protected me, and was with me when I needed you the most. And I..” your voice broke, and you let out a shaky sigh.

“I gave you nothing back but rules. I feel so stupid because of that..” your eyes shone with the tears that you couldn’t hold in anymore. Jeonghan was listening to you silently, with his eyes still watery, but now you could find hope in it.

“I’m so sorry, Hannie..” you whispered as you brought the boy closer, crossing your hands over his shoulders. He snuggled into the crook of your neck, while holding your waist tightly, and inhaling your scent.

You stayed in this position for a few good minutes, before you finally pulled away, resting your foreheads over yourselves. You had your eyes stuck on Jeonghan’s shining ones, and he had on yours. And at that point, when you were staring at your boyfriend, you'd made up your mind.

You were ready.

“Hannie..” you uttered.

The boy sent you a soft smile, “Yes, angel?” he murmured.

“I want us to be visible. I don’t want us to hide anymore.” you decided, immediately noticing how much you caught Jeonghan off guard by your sudden statement.

On the spur of the moment and Jeonghan’s confusion, you leaned down and placed your lips on top of his, connecting you in a soft kiss.

At first, Jeonghan didn’t react to your action. But then he melted into the kiss, turning it into a passionate and hungry kiss. He quickly cupped your cheeks with one of his hands, holding your face gently while not allowing you to pull away with his other hand that rested on your waist.

You ran your hands through his soft, dark hair. The boy lifted your body from the kitchen island, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as the boy made his way to your bedroom.

Yeah.

You were sure that you wanted to make you two visible.

The sound of the messages blowing up your phone has been ringing for the past 15 minutes, echoing in your room. Irritated by another incoming call, you finally woke up, and it turned out that it was Millie, the same as all of the messages.

You answered the call and put it on the speaker, placing your phone next to your pillow as you layed back on the bed.

“Millie.. I swear to god, if it’s something unimportant and you woke me up on the day when the lectures start later-”

“Wait y/n! Have you checked my messages?” Millie’s loud voice made you squeeze your eyes from the loudness, as you were still half asleep.

A sigh left your mouth, “Girl be for real. You just woke me up, how could I check your messages?” you muttered while rubbing your eyes.

“Then check it! I think you need to see it!” Millie shouted, and lazily, you took your phone, unlocking it and going straight to messages.

Millie sent you a screenshot with an Instagram post, uploaded by Siyeon. She took a selfie with Jeonghan, who sat next to her (probably not even knowing she was taking photos).

You immediately noticed that this photo was taken at the meeting that you attended a few days ago. Siyeon was wearing the same, short burgundy dress she wore that day, and Jeonghan had the same black shirt on.

But the most disturbing thing was the description she wrote under the post.

Liked by shushu_a and 16 134 others

SolLaSiyeon: finally breaking the radio silence 😘

“Can you believe that Lim Siyeon is in a relationship with Yoon Jeonghan?!” Millie squealed on the other side, and she started talking about something, but her voice began to gradually mute. You didn’t respond, being completely stunned by what you just saw.

“Wait. How do you know they’re together?” you asked, wanting to deny Millie’s assumption, “She didn’t say anything about it.”

“Oh y/n.. the title holds the whole meaning!” your best friend was quick to answer you, “She breaks the radio silence while posting a photo with Yoon Jeonghan. And in the description she writes ‘breaking the radio silence’ which refers to the gossip about Jeonghan’s girlfriend!”

Now it actually made sense, what made you feel even more terrified.

That one scene kept playing in your mind.

“Why did you two come together? Are you two dating or something?”

The girl was planning it from the beginning, making sure that her plan would work out.

Your best friend was still talking about something, but you didn’t really have the time to listen about how Joshua did this and that, so unfortunately you had to cut her off, “Sorry, Millie, but I really have to go. I’ll see you at the lectures later.” and you hung up, quickly getting up from the bed to get ready.

You couldn’t just leave it like that, you had to do something.

But what exactly..?

Your heart was racing and you felt like throwing up. You were waiting by one of the lecture halls, pacing back and forth while trying to calm yourself down. From what you’ve heard from some people on the campus, Siyeon was supposed to finish her lecture now, making it easier for you to catch her and talk with her.

And just as you were coming by the door again, it opened widely and people started to flood out of the room. You waited, standing on the side by the wall, while nervously biting your lower lip. You kept observing when the girl would come out from the lecture hall.

Finally, after some seconds you noticed the familiar face, immediately feeling how your insides start to roll from the stress. Siyeon was talking with one of her friends, not even sparing one glance at you, being deeply immersed in her conversation.

You took one deep breath before following them, and finally calling Siyeon’s name. The girl stopped her movements and turned around to face you, immediately putting the fake ‘shit i have to look friendly’ smile on her face.

“Hi y/n, what’s up?” she asked, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could. You gulped, feeling how hot your whole body started to feel.

“Hi,” you mumbled, “Could I ask you a favor?” the girl looked at you questioningly.

“Could you delete the post with Jeonghan that you recently posted?”

Siyeon’s eyes grew bigger as her smile turned into a grimace. “Huh why? Is something wrong with that, sweetie?”

“I don’t want you to create confusion and another round of gossip about my boyfriend.”

There you go. You finally said that.

However, the girl pressed her lips tightly, and looked at her friend, bursting out laughing. The wave of coldness ran through your body. That wasn’t something you expected.

“Okay, o-okay,” Siyeon stuttered, trying to calm down from laughing, “You got us. That was a nice one, y/n. Now if you excuse us-”

“I’m not finished.”

Suddenly, your hand gripped onto her wrist, stopping her mid-step from walking away. Siyeon glanced at your hand that was tightened around her forearm. She rolled her eyes, letting out a scoff as she turned around to face you.

Then you finally noticed how people started to circle you, observing what’s happening, some even recording. Your mouth immediately felt dry but you knew you couldn’t give up now.

“I don’t want you to post any more photos that include my boyfriend, while trying to make an impression as if he is your boyfriend. Yes! We might have been secret about our relationship, but it’s not as if we didn’t have the right to. It’s actually none of anyone’s business who Jeonghan is dating, because it shouldn’t be anyone’s main concern. But, when you post a photo with a description that says ‘breaking the radio silence’ as if you’re proposing to everyone, that you two are dating, then nothing else is left for me than to finally reveal the main secret, that everyone has been dying to find out the truth.” you smirked, while letting out a quiet snark.

“Yoon Jeonghan is dating me. I am his girlfriend, and Jeonghan is mine.”

Everyone and everything around you fell silent. The only thing you could hear at that moment was your rapidly beating heart, and your own breathing.

After some seconds, you finally looked at Siyeon, only to find she wasn’t looking at you. The girl had her eyes set on something behind your figure. You frowned, and slowly turned around.

At that moment, you felt as if your heart dropped. Your whole body froze, the feeling of embarrassment and shame striking you right at that specific moment.

Because no one else than Yoon Jeonghan himself was standing a few meters from you, in front of the whole crowd. He had his hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans, head tilted a little to the side while a proud smirk was stuck to his lips.

When Siyeon finally came out of her daze, she hit your stiff figure with her shoulder as she ran up to Jeonghan, pouting. “Jeonghanie! Did you hear what that crazy chick was saying? Isn’t she stupid? How could she even say such insane things! You’re not her boyfrie-”

“Oh, but I am.” he cut her off, with that lazy smirk he always loved to wear.

If your speech made an impact on people who stood around you, Jeonghan’s approval surely caught the whole crowd off guard. Everyone started to whisper, gossip and murmur about something.

“W-what?” Siyeon’s lips started to tremble, “But oppa..” she whined, trying to argue with him, but Jeonghan simply ignored her.

He slowly approached your shaking figure, sending you a warm grin. Gently, he took your hand and connected it with his, intertwining your fingers. The boy left a butterfly kiss on your knuckles, immediately getting sounds of adorations and approval from around.

Your eyes met his, and the boy whispered, “Trust me.”

Jeonghan slowly walked out of the crowd, pulling you out from that corridor. The two of you left the building silently, and finally when you were in the campus’ park, you had to break the silence.

“Hannie..” you removed your hand from his, gaining a questioning look from your boyfriend, “Listen, I’m sorry.. I know I should have stopped myself from doing it, from getting jealous, from confronting Siyeon, and from letting out the secret, but believe me I didn’t do it on purpose.. I-I.. ah..” you stuttered, being lost in your words, “I couldn’t just leave it like that when everyone started to gossip about you being in a relationship with her and-”

“y/n, stop.” Jeonghan’s firm voice ran through your whole body, shutting you up right away.

The boy chuckled, gently cupping your cheeks with his palms, and looking deeply into your eyes with his shining ones.

“Did you really think I would get mad at you for any of these? Angel.. why would I even do that..? You can’t imagine how happy I felt when you finally gave us a green light. But still, I wanted you specifically to tell us about us and our relationship.” he caressed your cheeks with his knuckles, smiling at your pouting face.

“And that moment when you claimed that you’re my girlfriend and I’m only yours? Damn, sweetheart, that was so hot-”

“Yoon Jeonghan!” he immediately got rewarded with a slap on his shoulder as the boy bursted out laughing at your shyness.

“Okay, I’m sorry!” he giggled, and you finally broke the grimace, sending him a soft smile.

“But seriously, you can’t even believe how happy you just have made me right there.” Jeonghan added, and left a sweet kiss on your forehead before conecting your hands once again.

“Hot chocolate?” he asked charmingly.

“Hot chocolate.” you nodded.

Walking down the main sidewalk of your campus, many people looked at you, and specifically at your intertwined hands. With your cheeks burning red, you took your phone out of your pocket, only to find lots of calls and messages from people from the campus. And one of them was Millie.

Millie:

YOU.

bitch

how dare you not tell me anything!!!! >:(

you have LOTS to tell me

and i won’t let you go

oh nononononooooo

so better prepare yourself

cuz i need to know

every.

single.

detail.

EVERYTHINGGGGGG

As you think of it now, while laying peacefully in your bed and having Jeonghan snuggled into the crook of your neck, even if you liked the way you two functioned while being ‘invisible’, you had to agree.

Being visible with Jeonghan was much better.

© shuawonie | 2023, all rights reserved.

reuploads and likes are highly appriciated ♡

[avatar-anna]

Workday Blues

2024 Masterlist

i wrote this weeks ago after a co-worker had me seeing red lol

"I just don't get it, H," you sighed, leaning back against the leather seat of your car as you waited for the light to change. Your voice felt strained, and you knew you sounded whiny, but you couldn't help it. After a long shift at work, you told yourself you reserved the right to complain. "Why can't people just, I don't know, do the job they showed up to do and get paid for?"

"I'm sorry, bub," Harry said, his voice tinny as it filled up your car. "Did you talk to your manager?"

You scoffed. "There's no point, but I swear I wanted to tell them I didn't want to work that shift anymore. I'm just so sick of—of—doing more than what's required of me and not being compensated for it."

Harry remained quiet over the phone. At this point in your relationship, he knew when you wanted his advice and when you just needed to vent about your job. The latter happened more and more as of late. Sometimes you felt bad for being so negative, but after nine hours of being overly positive as a restaurant server, you didn't have much positivity left in you.

"Need me to leave you a review again?" Harry finally asked.

Despite your exhaustion, you smiled. "What's that, now? The third one this month?"

"Fourth. Three and a half. I had Mitch leave one after the, what did you call it, 'influencer incident?'" he asked, referring to an afternoon where someone tried to pay for their meal by posting a video online.

"Hm. I'll have to bring him a slice of pie the next time I visit the studio."

"Hey, what about me? Where's my pie?"

Grin widening a bit, you said, "I'll give you something better."

"And...how far from home are you now?"

"Pulling in right now. I'll see you inside."

You pulled into the home you shared with Harry, resting your forehead against the steering wheel once the car was in park. Your feet hurt, you smelled like the food your restaurant served, and you desperately needed to take your makeup off. Sometimes you wondered why you were still putting yourself through all of this, and Harry definitely did too. For years now, Harry promised to take care of you, to take care of your student debt so you could focus on your career and not be so tired and unhappy. He didn't say it often because it typically led to an argument about independence and needing to be able to take care of yourself, but you knew how he felt, and after days like today, the idea of letting someone else take care of you financially seemed more appealing than it normally did.

Sighing, you slid out of the car, gathering your lunch bag and purse before shuffling into the house on slippered feet. "H?" you called, eyes lighting up when you heard the sound of nails scraping against wood floors. A shadow of jet black fur whipped around the corner and bounded toward the entrance hall to you, tongue out and tail wagging.

"Hi, pookie! How's my sweet boy?" you cooed. Hades nudged your leg with his nose, and you bent down to run your hands over his soft puppy fur until he eventually fell onto his back in need of belly rubs.

"You talking to me?" Harry's voice sounded like it came from the kitchen, which you followed once you straightened up and your dog was finished licking your face.

"You're gonna eat your words when you get your cute butt over here."

"I live with two boys, and only one of them greets me excitedly without fail. You do the math," you joked.

You smiled and shook your head at the comment. Harry knew your feelings about your "unflattering" work uniform, so he often went out of his way to compliment you whenever you were in it.

When you finally made it to where Harry was standing at the kitchen counter, tears nearly welled up in the corners of your eyes. "Is that—"

"Wild Cherry Pepsi," he said, his grin wide and knowing as he read your expression. "With pebbled ice. And dinner, but I know you care more about the drink with that sugar addiction of yours."

"You know me so well," you said, your voice rising in pitch as your head bowed.

"Aw, come here, bub." You shuffled over the last few steps to Harry, folding right into his welcoming embrace.

His body was firm and comforting against yours, his t-shirt soft beneath your cheek. Breathing in deep, you wrapped your arms around Harry's torso, letting every frustration you felt at work fall away as he held you.

"Thank you," you mumbled, tilting your head up after a minute or two had passed.

Harry smoothed his hand over your hair and down your back, pulling at the hair tie that held your braid in place all day. "For what?"

You shrugged, eyes closed as he began to pull the strands of your braid apart. "I don't know. For being you, for not suggesting I should quit when I know you want to."

"Another time," Harry promised. Pulling out a chair at the kitchen table, he gestured for you to sit down. You practically fell into the chair, feeling like you could finally relax as you took the plastic to-go cup into your hands and took a sip. Your eyes closed, feeling as though you could fall asleep right then even though you knew you should probably eat. As if he could tell you were on the brink of sleeping, Harry asked, "Do you want to keep talking about work or are you ready to forget?"

Harry wasn't being rude, nor was he belittling your frustration. You'd done this song and dance a time or two, but some days required you to vent more than others.

Around the straw, you said, "Can I?"

He sat beside you, taking Hades in his lap, who was happy to be held even though he was getting way too big for it. Usually, you chided Harry for holding Hades like that, but you were too tired, and honestly, it was kind of cute.

You talked while you ate, and Harry listened, letting you get everything you needed off your chest. He was quiet but attentive, apologizing for things out of his control and cursing your co-workers when you did. None of it would really improve the situation at work, but you always appreciated Harry's willingness to listen when you needed him to, and share in your anger and frustration when necessary.

Standing from the table, you took your plate and put everything in the dishwasher. Grabbing your plastic cup in one hand and Harry's hand in the other, you said, "I think I'm all done."

Harry kissed your temple before pulling you up the stairs toward your bedroom. Hades snaked between you and him to run ahead, waiting on the landing impatiently. "Good, because the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City won't wait for just anyone."

"Not a reading night, huh?" you asked, resting your head on his shoulder. Harry looked down and raised his brows in an expression that expressed he was not, in fact, going to be cracking open his book tonight. Kissing his cheek, you said, "Go ahead and start the next episode, baby. I'm gonna hop in the shower and wash my day off."

Harry, who'd been on his way to do just that, paused and frowned. "Well now I want to watch something else."

Grinning, you held out your hand while you continued to sip your drink. "Come on."

Hades, who had already claimed his spot at the edge of your bed, tilted his head to one side, clearly confused as to why his parents were walking away instead of joining him. "We'll be quick," you promised, even though you knew your dog didn't understand. But the message was for Harry too.

When you were finally in bed, watching Harry's show through eyes that were struggling to stay open, you looked up from where you resting against his shoulder. Harry's glasses were perched on his nose, his eyes focused on the television in front of him as he ran his hand idly over Hades' fur, who had conveniently found his way onto your lap once you settled into bed for the night.

"If you insist," Harry said on an exhale, turning the shower on and setting it to a temperature he knew you both liked.

"Be honest," you said suddenly. "I'd be happier if I quit, right?"

Harry was quiet, but you knew he'd heard you. He was just weighing his words. "Is another job lined up in this alternate universe?" he finally asked.

"I don't know, maybe. They argue quite a bit, though. Don't think you want to be part of all that drama," he replied, taking the remote and pausing his show. He looked down at you, eyes soft but perhaps a little concerned. You'd never considered his offer of letting him provide for you this seriously before. "Honestly? I think you'd get bored, bub."

You shrugged. "I don't know. You've said you'd always take care of me. What if I just...let you? I could be one of them," you mused, nodding your head at the women on your TV.

A nod and a noncommittal hum was your only response for a few seconds until you'd gathered your thoughts. "I'm just so...tired. I'm tired of everything I do not being appreciated. I'm tired of not being supported. I love my regulars and I like most of my co-workers, and part of me feels a sense of loyalty to this place despite, well, everything."

"We'll do some job hunting tomorrow," Harry said. "I'll help you update your resume, you'll send some feelers out, and we'll go from there. How does that sound?"

"I could get a remote job," you mused. "I'd get to be home more. I could travel more with you."

Harry kissed the top of your head. "As much as I would love that, I think your strengths lie in the connections you make with people. You certainly charmed the pants off me."

"Literally or metaphorically?"

"Both."

You grinned, cheeks reddening as you recalled the night you first met Harry.

*.*

"Holy shit you're Harry Styles."

Your hand immediately clapped over your mouth, as if physically covering it would keep you from embarrassing yourself further. In your defense, it was the first time a celebrity sat in your section at work, and no one had thought to warn you. And Harry Styles, no less. The man in front of you was probably still immortalized on your childhood bedroom wall, and now you'd all but outed yourself as a fan when he'd no doubt wanted some privacy.

"I'm so sorry, I—" How were you supposed to recover from this? Harry stared at you with a small smile, a pitying one, no doubt. God, you had one opportunity to act cool in front of a celebrity and you blew it in less than ten seconds. "I'm sorry, let me start over. Hi, I'm Y/n, and I'll be taking care of you today. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Just a water please," Harry replied, his voice soft as his smile widened, which made you think that perhaps he thought you making an absolute fool out of yourself was at the very least amusing.

Once you made it back to the service station to retrieve his water glass, you gave yourself exactly one minute to collect yourself. "He's just another customer. An extremely attractive customer," you murmured, grabbing a pitcher of water from the fridge. "You can do this, Y/n. Pull yourself together."

From there, things went smoothly. You acted like you hadn't freaked out when you initially greeted Harry's table, and Harry was thankfully on board with that plan. He was polite, wasn't fussed when a dish he wanted couldn't be made vegetarian, and was surprisingly interested in making conversation with you anytime you were at his table.

"How long have you worked here?"

"Too long," you joked. "Sometimes I feel like there's a bit of Stockholm Syndrome with this place, but the tips are good."

Your eyes widened a bit when you realized he might think you were making a joke about one of his songs—which you absolutely weren't trying to do—but you didn't comment on it, and thankfully neither did he. You talked a little bit more about the career you did want to get into, and casually asked what brought him to the restaurant you worked at. It wasn't one celebrities tended to frequent, but perhaps that was its charm to Harry.

"Had a day to myself, just thought I'd do some exploring," he explained before you left him to enjoy his meal.

You'd gotten a couple more tables since then and couldn't go over and talk to Harry like you wanted, but perhaps that was for the best. You flitted around the restaurant floor like you always did, charming customers and taking complaints in stride with a smile. Tips were key, and snarky comments or not being accommodating would get you nowhere with certain customers, even if it did kill you inside just a little bit to see an insufferable person get their way.

You didn't realize it at the time, but according to Harry, he watched you—not in a creepy way, per his recollection of your first meeting. He watched you chat with regulars and help your co-workers place orders and carefully placate disgruntled customers. And all the while, you still managed to stop by his table, smiling and topping off the coffee he ordered after he ate, which, according to him he'd done just so he could keep talking to you.

Apparently, he'd been working up the courage to flirt with you when you finally set the check down on the table. "No rush," you said with a smile before heading to another table, a party of ten that you accidentally huffed to him was supposed to be a party of five.

Harry paid, then smiled when his bill and credit card came back to him. Sorry for acting like an idiot earlier. It was nice meeting you! you'd written on the receipt, adorning it with a smiley face. You watched as Harry smiled as he read your note from Expo before one of the line cooks shouted at you to run the food that was up.

You didn't think you'd ever see Harry again, a universal truth, some might've called it. But for some reason, the notion disappointed you, and not because you didn't get a picture with your teenage crush. It felt bigger than that somehow, which was altogether crazy considering you'd only just met him.

So imagine your surprise when you saw him again two days later. "He was supposed to be in my section, but he insisted on yours. Don't fuck it up," one of your more vile co-workers told you, clearly jealous. And as you saw him, his head bent over the menu and his knee bouncing beneath the booth, your heart leaped in your chest in a way that made you both nervous and excited.

"You forgot something," he said as he closed out his check for the second time that week. Time had passed in a blur, despite it slowing down every time you went over to talk to him, which was to say a lot. It wasn't as busy as the day he first came in, leaving you no choice but to check on him more than you normally would.

"Did I?" you asked, looking down at the bill with furrowed brows.

"Last time I was here, I mean," Harry corrected.

Last time, you thought. All Harry had gotten was a salad and a coffee, but the tip he left was well over half of what your other tables had left that day combined. But you rang everything in correctly. Perhaps he was expecting a discount for his celebrity status? He didn't seem like the type, but that was the only conclusion you were able to draw.

"The note you left," he continued, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. He sat up straighter, giving you a better view of the Keith Harring shirt he wore. "It didn't have your number on it, so I've had to come back the last two days so I could ask you for it. Only now I know you don't work on Mondays."

Shock ran through your entire body, to the point where you couldn't even speak. Harry, Harry Styles, mind you, wanted your number. Badly enough that he'd come back to an average Mom-and-Pop restaurant to get it.

"No, I—I don't," was all you could manage as your entire face heated up.

"I hope I'm not sounding like a creep right now," Harry said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "I realize now I may have participated in some light stalking."

"You're not," you blurted, trying to remember how to speak. You felt like you'd somehow entered an alternate dimension. "Here, hold on."

You pulled your order pad from your back pocket and scribbled your number down, willing your hands to stop shaking. Ripping it off the stack, you handed it to Harry, who took it from you graciously.

"Can I call you later?" he asked, standing up from the booth. You had to back up a couple steps to give him room, and you were now aware of just how tall he was as you craned your neck to look at him.

"Please," you blurted, cursing yourself for sounding so eager. Harry didn't seem to mind, though, smiling as he slipped his phone and wallet into the back pocket of his jeans. "I—I mean, sure. I'm off at eight tonight."

"I'll be counting down the minutes," he said before cursing under his breath. "Shit. I sounded like a stalker again, didn't I?"

A laugh bubbled out of you, making Harry's shoulders relax. "I'll allow it. Just this once."

Harry laughed too, then winked, and you were honestly so proud of yourself for not swooning in front of him. "I guess I'll be talking to you later then, Y/n."

*.*

"You made me so nervous," you said as you recalled the memory of how you'd embarrassed yourself in front of Harry the first time you met.

"I know," he said, laughing when you smacked his arm. "It was cute, though! And you also made me plenty nervous, to be fair."

"That is true," you sighed, grinning a little as you turned your face into his arm. "One of us stalked the other, and it certainly wasn't me."

"Sure, but one of us has posters of the other plastered all over their childhood bedroom."

Scoffing, you sat up and scooted away from him, making Hades bark in protest. "It's one poster. And you weren't even my favorite. Zayn was."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"I will."

Sighing, you settled deeper against him, as much as you could considering the puppy still in your lap. "Sometimes I think I keep the job because that's where we met."

"It's okay to let it go. We'll have the memory," Harry promised, his hand meeting yours as he began to scratch Hades' fur. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

Nodding, you reached for the remote and pressed play on the show, content to leave the conversation there. If Harry promised to help you figure it out, then you believed him.

[cherievol6]

in love in italy

hey!!! long time no see…sorry i’ve been off the grid - i’ve been working loads. i just randomly wrote this (I was feeling very poetic after reading Sally Rooney lmfao) hope you enjoy!

being with harry in Italy brings on some intense feelings that you just need to confess.

warnings: very brief mentions of sex, other than that it’s absolutely heart wrenching fluff.

word count: ~1k

.

You’ve never felt like this before.

At least, not when you're in the middle of having sex with someone.

This wasn't just someone though, it was Harry.

Sweet and gentle Harry, whom had made everything feel a little bit lighter for you since the moment you met. Here he was, skin so close to yours it felt like he was trying to meld you both together like clay. His head was dipped into your shoulder, his breaths heaving but blissful. You felt like a pot of boiling sugar bubbling up to a gooey caramel and oozing into the bed below you. He made you feel as though one look from him or one kiss from him would make you shed every negative piece of your mind.

"You okay? You're awfully quiet after that." He half laughs, referring to the intense scene of love that was just displayed in the early hours of the morning, in a random villa in Italy. You’d woken up to get a glass of water and returned to bed to find Harry awake. A quick good night kiss turned into wandering hands and clothes being stripped to the floor. It wasn't quick, or impatient, the way you'd held eachother. It was intense, and thick and heavy — like there was something lingering for the two of you. You feel a few tears slip to yours ears and on to the pillows. Harry still hasn't noticed, gently stroking the leg around his waist. You scratch your fingers in his hair and let out a shaky breath.

You always found it hard to hold in your cries, since you were small. They swelled your chest like a balloon, and with a sharp gasp of breath the balloon pops and Harry's snapping his head up quickly and brushing your hair out of your face.

"Woah, woah. What's wrong?" His voice is panicked and you don't find yourself trying to avoid his gaze, which is strange. You don't feel upset, you feel overwhelmed. Harry always said it scared him how every time you looked at him it felt like you were reading his mind.

You wipe the sweat from your brow, the warm room making you feel flushed. Or was it this nagging urge to tell Harry something you’d kept to yourself for so long, out of fear of scaring him off so early in your relationship.

You smile, and he must think you look manic, grin growing the more you look at him, his constant over concern for you, like he couldn’t bear to think of anything bad happening to you.

“I feel good.” You say quietly, running your thumb over his mole next to his mouth.

“Yeah? That’s good.” He kisses you softly.

“Do you feel good?” He nods at your question without hesitation.

His eyes seem to gloss over akin to yours, and the words are literally behind your teeth when he says, “Always when I’m with you. You make me feel so safe. I can’t describe it-”

“I love you so much, Harry.” The tears are no longer tears, rather streams of saltiness that saturate your hair and Harry’s hands. He seems to deposit the last of the air in his lungs before he can speak again. Like your words winded him.

“You love me?” His voice is timid, and his hand is now shaking.

“You know that thing, where people paint in acrylic on a canvas, and it looks good, but kind of dull? A bit moody?” Harry nods, with a small smile creeping up his face. You always were one for the metaphor, “and then they paint it with that shimmery gloss and it makes the painting look so different. Like it’s brand new, and you’re finally seeing it in its best form? That’s how you make me feel. I wasn’t bad before, I just needed something…or someone to make me more vibrant. You do that for me. And I love you for it.”

He laughs, and the movement makes his tears fall out of his eyes and on to your cheeks. You are the most emotionally intelligent person he’s ever met in his life and he can’t believe that you’re in love with him.

“You always come up with the most beautiful metaphors...” he kisses you again, like staring at your face for too long brings on the urge to just devour you whole. “I genuinely think my entire life was created to coexist with yours, and just hear every piece of your mind that you’ll let me.”

You pull him down again and kiss him again. You were insatiable for his kisses, they were like oxygen for you. He’s still crying, and you’re still crying, and all you can hear around you is his heavy heartbeat and the owls in the trees around you. Your favourite place to be with Harry was in his Italian house. It felt like no one in the world existed or cared about the two of you when you were within these walls.

“I love you. I have done for months and I will do for a lifetime. Okay?” His brows are pinched together, in a sincere and reassuring way. Like he needs you to know that he’s not going anywhere.

“Okay.” You smile widely, until your cheeks hurt and your eyes wrinkle. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Now that it’s out in the air it feels like the only form of communication between you both in this moment. Harry rocks against your hips and kisses your neck, and you begin to breathe shallow. You whine when he connects your lips again.

“Show me how much you love me, H.”

.

[lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe]

Chapter 1 [IKYLHT]

~3.5k Words | Series Masterlist | Prev: 141 & Rabbit Headcanons | Next Chapter

-

Ghost’s initial impression of you was not necessarily a fond one.

Admittedly, he was pushing down a scoff long before the humvee even entered the far side of the compound.

So when Shepherd’s slow drawl crackled over the comms, he resigned himself to letting his frustration fester deep under his skin.

“Marines are loading in now. You and the Sergeants are leading the way on this.”

“The Sergeants?”

“Sergeant ‘Soap’ MacTavish, Gunnery Sergeant ‘Rabbit”

He held back a groan.

Not these two.

Now Ghost hadn’t minded Soap’s presence in Verdansk, he could hardly remember Johnny if he’s being completely honest. It was years ago, and if you’d told him he worked with over 50 soldiers in that month alone he wouldn't bat an eye. 

It was your callsign that had pushed forward the memories of the man- hours of incessant rambling to Price about the mission you’d just come back from, updates about an ankle injury, and just about anything else he could think of. Ghost was almost surprised the Captain contently sat through it all, but he always had been a patient man.

Narrowly avoiding the elbows of your comrades shuffling off the humvee, you spot your superior from your seat next to Johnny, averting your gaze to grab his outstretched hand and drop the small distance to the ground, patting his shoulder with a smile as he turns to the lieutenant. 

“Let’s get ourselves a win, yeah, L.t.? Save ya’ a seat, sir.”

Watching the man’s dark eyes brush past Johnny’s shoulder and onto your frame, you give a nod and shout, “Lieutenant, sir!”, before following Soap’s quick steps as he loads onto the heli.

Following you and Johnny’s retreating forms, he sighs out through his nose and feels his eyebrows furrow. You fist-bump each soldier you pass, all smiles and laughs as you say something that gets the soldiers talking.

Fucking hell.

“Ghost- you copy?” 

“Yes, sir.”

“Any issues?”

“Negative, sir. Out here.”

Buckling yourself in, you watch him walk up the ramp and settle into the seat across from Johnny.

“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant. I serve as this unit’s operations chief, please let me know if there’s anything I can assist you with. I go by Rabbit, sir.”

Ghost swears he feels his blood pressure rising, but stomps it down best he can and huffs a breath under his mask. 

He knows it’s irrational- there really is no reason for the irritation your introduction brings him, especially when your job is centered on keeping the unit well-tempered, but he’s tired. Tired of unpacking his duffle only to be called back to base mere hours after returning to the subsidized accommodation he calls home.

He really is a sweet man. Despite his cold exterior and intimidating reputation, he was hardly ever mean with his words. Curt, maybe. Brief, blunt, clipped- all fine words to describe the man but never mean. Enough missions with him- hearing the petnames roll off his tongue when dealing with hostages, feeling the gentleness of his hands as he patches bullet wounds, seeing the way he gladly takes the bedroll by the open window to ensure his comrades aren’t harrassed by the winter breeze- one may come to believe he was actually the kindest soldier among the squadron. 

So he keeps his tone level.

“Anything else?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Anything else you go by, soldier?”

“You can call me Gun if you’d like, sir. Not sure if anyone here would know you’re referring to me, though.”

He nods once, leaning back and turning his head to look towards another soldier.

“Beside me is Sergeant John MacTavish. We call him Soap, sir. You two worked alongside Captain Price in Verdansk.”

He’s quiet, nodding once to Johnny before turning again. 

Crossing your arms with a smile, you nudge Soap and give a small nod in the direction of the lieutenant.

“What’d you do to piss him off?” You murmur with a poorly concealed smile.

“No idea. We hardly spoke. Was too busy tellin’ Price all about your little oven incident on base.” Soap teases with a nudge of his shoulder against yours.

You roll your eyes and nudge him back before resting your head on the now departing heli and closing your eyes. “Oh, so you were chatting everyone’s ear off like always? That explains it.”

Letting out a low chuckle, he knocks his boot into yours twice before copying your stature, arms crossed and head leaning back.

Unlike the duo, Ghost doesn’t find sleep easily. 

If you ask, he’d say it was for the betterment of the mission. No team can afford a groggy, sleep-ridden lieutenant, especially not before a kill-or-capture. 

In actuality, he’d always been a light sleeper, ever since he was a boy. The military hardens you, gives you the ability to sleep in cold, damp environments that make you question if you’ll wake up having grown moss. But Ghost had never gotten over his need for a solid ground to sleep on, no matter how hard he tried.

He finds himself thinking of those futile attempts once more as he sits across from the two of you, shoulders squished as you lean on each other for support in the shaking heli.

He feels a sense of deja vu, though you’re both a tad more battered than the first time this scene played out. Securing the crash site was bloody, but he recalls Johnny’s soft smile when you knocked your boot against his and asked how his bleeding head felt.

“It’s just a graze, Bun. How’s the ankle?”

“Still clicking. Don’t think it’ll ever go back to normal.”

“A shame, really. Guess fate is forcing you to stick with me. Just for the foot rubs, o’course.”

“Of course, no other reason.”

He knocks his boot against yours, twice, and ruffles your hair before he leans back into the wall of the small exfil aircraft and closes his eyes.

“Hey! You know I’m low on gel, ruin my hair again and I’ll have you written up for insubordination.”

“Cry me a river, Bugs.”

“‘Oh, good one, Johnny. Hurt my heart with that one, truly.” You tease, giggling as he tosses his MTP cap onto your head and pushes the brim well below your eyes. 

“Sleep, Bunny.”

You look much better now, Ghost thinks. You’ve had a night to recoup- shower and rewrap the ankle he’s since learned you don’t go a day without tending to. The same could be said for Soap, bloody hair having been washed and cropped down an inch. He distinctly remembers hearing you snip at Johnny’s hair from the men's showers, pleading for him to grow it out at one even length and forcing the shortening regardless of Soap’s whines. 

He had stopped dead in his tracks the first time he heard your voice ring out, fully convinced he was mere steps away from walking into the women’s showers and living the rest of his military career with the word ‘nonce’ attached to his image.

His internal panic was silenced when he heard an unfamiliar voice ring out.

“Just tell ‘em your hand slipped, Rabbit. We’ll vouch for ‘ya!”

“Daniel, I swear to god, I’ll shiv ya’ in yer sleep.” He hears Soap’s loud, muffled voice.

“Johnny, you move again and you’re gonna have a stripe of beard missing.”

“I’d listen to her, Soap. Oliver’s already slipped her 20 quid to give you a chinstrap.”

“You’re full of shit, Daniel!”

He did his best to ignore the two men’s loud argument as he opened the door to the showers, just barely getting a glimpse of Soap’s side profile where he sits in a small towel and faces the wide mirror, blocked by your figure as you prop one knee on the bench and trim away at his beard. His arm is lazily wrapped around your waist, keeping your balance and occasionally fiddling with a fraying belt loop.

“Hey, L.t. Hittin’ the showers?”

Ghost lets out an affirmative grunt as you turn to face him with a grin he knows by now is mildly troubling.

“Good evening, Lieutenant. Need a trim? I’ve used my model, Mr. MacTavish here, as an example of how a good, clean cut can shape up any fixer-upper. By law I must state, I am eligible to receive a small commission based on the sale of any products sold here today. So, whatchya’ thinking, sir?”

You gesture towards the half empty USO Care Package that holds generic two-in-one toiletries with a giggle that’s spurred on by Daniel and Oliver’s loud chuckles. He takes note of your freshly washed hair and knows the good mood stems from the fresh cooked dinner and warm shower you’d clearly had the opportunity of enjoying. He’d scarfed down the dinner same as you, though in his private quarters, and now wonders how you’d freshened up so fast. 

He doesn’t recall Gunnery Sergeants being permitted upgraded living arrangements during deployments. Even he had to fight for authorization for an ensuite bathroom, and the showers were completely unusable. But the women’s barracks were on the other side of the compound, the showers close-by having been closed for refurbishment. You couldn’t possibly have been so fast as to have walked over there, showered, blow-dried your hair, changed into your civilian clothes, and walked back- all in a matter of minutes. Daniel and Oliver were just wrapping up their showers, and seeing by the small bottle of conditioner clutched in Soap’s hand, he isn’t far behind. Did that mean-

“Can I take your silence as a yes, Lieutenant?” You grin, wiggling the razor in your grasp.

Ghost steps around you and barks out a ‘Negative, Gun,” before walking to a shower in the far corner and pulling the curtain closed. Stripping down and turning the water on, he listens for the sounds of footsteps before even thinking of removing the balaclava. He doesn’t hear any, but rather your low voice speaking to Soap as the sounds of running water stop.

“Alright, I’m done. Go finish up.”

He scrubs the dirt and grime away as he listens to the other two men say their goodbyes as they leave, and only once he hears you chat to Soap from the bench as he conditions his hair does Ghost remove the balaclava and scrub at the greasepaint around his eyes.

He thinks back to later that night, hours after you and Soap had left the shower room he may or may not have locked by way of pressing an oddly misplaced chair firm under the handle of the door.

“Johnny, that slice is way too big. You’re gonna get a stomachache again. And this time I’m not- Lieutenant! Hello again! Take a seat, sir.”

At his lack of movement, your smile widens and you gesture toward the shared dining table.

“Please, go ahead.”

“What’s this?”

“It’s a little tradition Soap and I have. Buttermilk pie after every successful mission. I make it myself, secret recipe. Please, join us. The rest of the unit’s already had their slices.”

“We lost sight of Hassan and four of our men, Gun. You consider that a success?”

He isn’t unkind with his words, just factual.

“Johnny, am I standing here talking to our lieutenant?”

“Indeed, Bonnie.”

“And Lieutenant, would you say you feel alive?”

“Hardly.”

“I’ll take it.” You mumble, shrugging. “Sounds like a success to me. I’ll grab you a slice, sir.”

He wasn’t able to get a word out before you were shoving the flimsy plate into his chest, small dabs of whipped cream hitting his black hoodie. He moved a hand to push the plate away, but somehow you were faster in turning that hand and precariously balancing the wobbling desert plate in the center of his gloved palm.

“Please, Lieutenant. It boosts team morale. You’re here to do your job. I get that. Let me do mine.”

You’re physically able to see the breath he lets out, gently curling his fist around the desert and blinking owlishly. 

“Here’s yer fork, L.t.”

Mouth stretched into a wide grin, Soap throws an arm over your shoulder and directs you down the hall and into the empty common area, grabbing the remote and switching the channel over to some old Scottish comedy movie you detest but could recite by heart. 

Looking down at the now-flaking whipped cream stain, Ghost breathes out a soft growl and flips open the cabinets, grabbing a roll of cling wrap and sufficiently covering the slice of pie. 

Opening the fridge, he goes to place the dessert on the top shelf before stopping to read the comically large, sparkly pink piece of poster paper taped to the bottom two bins.

Property of Sgt. Soap and GnSgt. Rabbit. Failure to comply with direct no-contact orders will result in disciplinary infractions. Don’t think we won’t notice. We see all. 

Shaking his head with a small chuckle and roll of his dark eyes, Ghost turns back to the small camera he spotted lazily hidden behind the coffee machine and holds up the pie, before turning back and sliding open the first bin.

There isn’t much- some salsa, two ripe avocados, and a few Trader Joe’s microwave meals Ghost imagines cost a fortune to import. 

Opening the second drawer, the bin catches on the lip of the fridge and Ghost has to shimmy it back and forth before it gives way.

Just barely keeping himself from letting out a full-bellied laugh, he’s able to catch a stray candy bar that falls from the overflowing stash of refrigerated sweets. 

It’s a milk chocolate cadbury bar, and he only slightly over-exaggerates his movements in brushing his hand over the top of the pile before discreetly palming the chocolate bar up his sleeve.

“Don’t think we won’t notice. Hmph. Don’t know how you could, fuckin’ mountain of sweets.” 

Rifling through the pile, he passes a collection of English candies amongst some Scottish sweets he doesn’t recognize. He notes the small collection of American candies at the bottom of the bin, some he could’ve sworn was banned in the UK around the same time he was still working as an apprentice butcher at the grocery store. Something about red dye or sprinkles or choking hazards, he can’t care enough to remember. 

Regardless, he does his best to smush down the pile without crushing anything, once again wrestling the bin closed.

“Fucking hell, half these don’t even need to be refrigerated.”

He scoffs a low laugh as he places the pie in the first bin, barely half full. Securing the sign once again, he rises to his full height and closes the fridge. Making eye contact with the freezer, he shakes his head and walks off with a murmur.

“Don’t even wanna know.”

“-Sir?”

Your voice has his eyes snapping to yours before doing a quick one-over of the helicarrier.

When did the sun rise?

“You okay, sir? Called you a couple times.”

He doesn’t recall hearing you, doesn’t quite recall falling asleep either, but he can’t think of any other way he’d get distracted so easily.

He looks back over to you as you stretch out your arms, giving a nod.

“Freaked me out a little. You, uh… you didn’t blink. For like five minutes. Thought you were having a ‘Nam flashback or something.”

His lack of response and owlish stare has you laughing sheepishly, instead choosing to pat Soap’s thigh, nudging your shoulder against his and stirring him awake.

“Johnny. C’mon, wakey wakey. We’re starting descent.” 

Soap mumbles something incoherent but doesn’t open his eyes. You wrap your arm around his shoulders and shake him with a laugh.

“No no no, John, don’t fall back asleep. You’ve got ten minutes to liven up.”

Turning to Ghost, you nod with a small smile.

“Lieutenant. I saved an extra for you, sir.”

You reach into the small cooler beneath your seat and pull out a milk chocolate cadbury bar.

“Since you like them so much.” You add with a wink, closing the cooler and strapping a medieval looking chain lock that definitely surpassed overkill. The tips of Ghost’s ears turn red, and though you couldn’t possibly see that through the balaclava, he swears the mirth in your eyes proves otherwise. 

“Grab me anythin’, Bun?”

Rummaging around before handing Soap an Irn-Bru, you look out the small, round window and sigh happily.

Lifting the cooler lid, Ghost nods to a small portion of the sweets at the bottom of the container.

“Weren’t those discontinued?” he asks, glancing over at you as you ignore him in favor of unbuckling yourself and walking towards the cockpit, an excited hop to your step.

“She has ‘er ways, L.t. ‘S Probably best not to question it.” Soap chuckles with a smile and a shake of his head, popping open the can and suppressing his smile in between sips of the sweet drink. 

“What’s got her so giddy, then?”

“Closest she’s been to home in a while. Plus, she used to visit Mexico a lot when she was a kid, stationed on-and-off for a few years, too. Don’t mention it, though.” He says, nodding his head in your direction where you exit the cramped cockpit.

“Pilot says we’re three minutes out. I’d eat that chocolate while you’ve got the chance, Lieutenant.”

You turn, taking Johnny with you, and go back towards the cockpit where a few spare medkits lay in boxes. He watches you noncommittally skim your hands over a few of them, and he realizes you’d given him the opportunity to eat in privacy.

He’s tempted to just sit and time how long you’d stay with your back turned. Watch and see if you’d risk falling on your ass as the heli roughly lands if it means he could have an additional few seconds of peace.

But if there’s one guilty pleasure Ghost will always allow himself to indulge in, it’s chocolate. He’s always had a sweet tooth, something about the rich, milky cocoa dessert brings him back to a memory he can’t quite recall but knows feels right. 

He doesn’t lift the balaclava, though he probably could’ve with the amount of time you two spent with your backs turned. It’s barely noticeable, but as he slips the small squares of chocolate under his mask and to his lips, he spots the start of a thin, smooth scar trailing a few inches under your right ear to the start of your spine. The scar gets thicker as it trails down, evidence of a deeper wound, and he wonders if you feel just as vulnerable turning your back to him as he does slithering his only free hand under the mask and past the pale scars that decorate his soft lips.

Folding the wrapper and stuffing it into one of the free pockets of his tac vest, he loudly clears his throat and unbuckles himself.

Turning back and smiling, you walk back to the pilot and clap his shoulder with a ‘thanks, James’ before settling back in your seat next to Soap and allowing the landing to jerk you half out of your seat. 

He looks towards the pilot, squinting his eyes but only able to see his outline with the harsh sun glaring through the windshield.

He’s not able to get his sights on the man before the ramp is lowering and he’s following Soap in meeting the Colonel.

“Alejandro”

“Sergeant MacTavish”

“Call me Soap”

“Lieutenant. Laswell says they call you Ghost.”

“Actually, I believe he prefers to be-”

“That’ll do.”

Nodding as he fights back an amused grin, Alejandro looks past the two men.

“Gunnery Sergeant Rabbit. What’s in the cooler?”

Whipping his head to turn to you, he almost lets out a sigh. Really, he should’ve expected it by now, but wishful thinking had him hoping you’d leave the cooler of sweet snacks for the pilots to enjoy. 

“Doubloons.” You smile, setting the cooler at your feet and shaking Alejandro’s hand. “Colonel Vargas. Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Welcome to the ‘City of Souls’.”

Picking up the cooler, Soap looks out at the rising sun before turning back to Alejandro.

“I’ve never been to Mexico.” 

“This isn’t Mexico. This is Las Almas.”

Giving his strong arms an appreciative squeeze, you position yourself between him and Ghost, listening attentively to the Colonel’s words. 

“Shephard’s contractors are inbound to reinforce. They’re bringing hardware, they’ll need room. My base is your base.”

“Good. Now, where’s Hassan?”

“Cartel safe-house, ten clicks from here.”

Opening the door and throwing the cooler behind his seat, Johnny reaches a hand out and leads you to the center seat, grabbing the buckle and strapping you in.

“No fun.” You pout and whisper quietly, breaking into a smile as he shoves himself into the cramped seat and knocks his boot into yours with a pat to your thigh.

“This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra.”

“Tengo miedo de los fantasmas”

Fighting back a smile, you turn to Ghost.

“Mhm, Fantasma. Sounds sexy. I think that’s what I’ll call you.”

Ghost’s glare settles deep into your soul, but it got a chuckle from the rest of the car- and it’s not like that glare didn’t pleasantly spike your heart rate- so you brush it off with a smile.

“You know Spanish?” Alejandro turns back, but Soap is quick to speak.

“No.” He bumps his boot into yours.

Alejandro lets out a chuckle as he turns back towards the road.

“You will.”

-

<3

[kriscommitscrimes]

IN-DEPTH CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF KRIS(MAS) DREEMURR

Hello! I've wanted to make this post for a WHILE now, since Kris is my favourite character ever, and I LOVE analyzing characters!!

Anyway before I start just remember that people consume media differently, and this is just what I've personally picked up on. You may interpret certain points I make differently to me, and that's ok! I'm just sharing MY analysis of Kris, at the end of the day, they're a character who has never spoken any dialogue that's visible to us, so their intentions behind certain things could be interpreted differently depending on who's consuming the media.

Kris will be EXCLUSIVELY referred to by they/them (they/them/themself specifically) pronouns throughout this post. If you refer to them as anything other than they/them while interacting with this post I'm gonna block you on the spot sorry.

ANALYSIS BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S LONG!!! TW there's probably some swearing I can't remember

By the way, I'm not including any screenshots because I. forgot to take them last time I played through Deltarune, but the next time that I do, I'm going to make like a revamped version of this post with screenshots. Sorry about that!!

Kris is their own, separate character from the player. This is a no-brainer if you've actually played through Deltarune and paid the slightest bit of attention to it. Kris is their own, separate character with a VERY distinct, interesting personality, who had a life before the events of Deltarune, and even still has control over some things that they say and do while in our control.

Kris isn't actually a quiet person. Kris, in reality, is an overdramatic, sassy, talkative person who often draws attention to themself by scaring people (especially Noelle), and causing scenes. They CONSTANTLY play mean spirited pranks on Noelle or pressure her into things (I'm NOT talking about Snowgrave, I'll get to thar later), like shaking the ferris wheel carriage despite Noelle being scared of heights, and telling her that ICE-E is real and eats kids. They still do this during the events for Deltarune, like if you go against Noelle's wishes and pet the cheese, Kris strokes it like a cat, and if you give Noelle a healing item called a Choco Diamond, she says something along the lines of 'Umm, it's ok, Kris, I'll share', and both of them get healed. We don't choose for Kris to force Noelle to share, that's a decision they make. As for drawing attention to themself, the first thing that comes to mind is they falling to the ground and sulking when they're too short and weak to play Queen's arcade machine, or them barking at Noelle when she offers them a dog treat. They're loud and impulsive, shown when they eat the pie at the end of chapter one, repeatedly kicking the robot in the basement when nothing happens originally before the Sneo fight, eating all of the chocolate Undyne gives them to give to Alphys if you interact with the box, and screaming that they're normal if you call Toriel after watching her conversation with Alphys at the start of chapter two. Speaking of which...

Kris seems to have identity issues. This is one of the things here that everyone in the fandom is kind of already aware of, but this is a full character analysis, so it's still important to mention. Kris is the only human in Hometown, but desperately wants to be perceived as normal. They scream it at Toriel like I mentioned earlier, they wore a headband with red horns on it when they were little to look more like a boss monster, and they seem actively disgusting or even frightened by other humans. They also seem to be living in their brother's shadow a bit, which may be why they like drawing attention to themself. Everything I've said about their personality seems to be a little on the negative side so far, but everyone in Hometown knows their name, and seems to quite like them, so why is this? Well...

Kris is charming, well-spoken, and funny. They're a prankster known for pulling mean-spirited pranks on people, but even still characters like Noelle look back at those things fondly, and everyone in Hometown seems to like spending time with Kris. Kris' flirting abilities are pretty obvious, and are used to win over loads of Darkners, not to mention their ability to formulate a compelling speech on the spot, as shown during the first Queen battle when toasting to her. They easily win people over, especially if they like a person, I mean, they became best friends with their former bully in a DAY! A DAY!!! People seem to find them just genuinely fun to hang around, probably due to them just being a funny, charming, somewhat balls of the walls kinda person.

Kris is NOT evil or malicious. This is one of the most important points I've wanted to make on this post. I've seen the theory that Kris is evil because they don't actively do anything to prevent Snowgrave from happening tossed around and I'm here to say that that is actually fucking stupid sorry. Normally I HATE being mean about people's theories because, like I said, everyone consumes media differently, but that one is just genuinely terrible. I'd say it's WAY more likely that as Noelle gets strong, out control over Kris becomes stronger. Normally, when we choose an option to make Kris say or do something, they ELABORATE on that, which is confirmed by how characters interact with them. We just can't see them speaking to give the illusion that they're a blank slate, under our full control. But, during Snowgrave, they just say EXACTLY what you tell them to say. If you tell them to say 'We're something else', they just say 'We're something else'. If you tell them to say 'Proceed', they just say 'Proceed'. Sure, you could put this towards them not caring, but after Berdly is frozen and you reunite with Ralsei and Susie, both of them say that Kris looks HURT. And later on, they REFUSE to go and see Noelle in her room. The refuse to THINK about it. They're not happy with what happened. They didn't want to go around freezing people. But the one thing that Really stood out to me, was during the Snowgrave Spamton Neo fight. Near the end, you have the option to call Ralsei and Susie for help, which prompts the flavour text; 'Kris called for Susie and Ralsei... But nobody came'. After that, you have to call Noelle for help to finish the battle, which prompts the dialogue; 'You called for Noelle'. Spamton states that Kris could barely whisper her name. They're trying to stop you from calling for her. Those aren't their words. I think that kind of confirms that they didn't want Snowgrave to happen. Kris is just a funny teenager with identity issues, they're not evil. Sorry evil Kris fans.

Kris probably isn't the Roaring Knight. They're A knight, but not THE knight. So far, they don't REALLY have any motivation for opening the first two fountains that I'm aware of, and I doubt they knew they could open a fountain until Queen's speech at the end of Chapter 2. At the end of Chapter 2, however, they do seem to have a motivation to open a fountain. They (presumably) slash Toriel's tyres to stop her from leaving the house to go and get flour. They want her to see the Dark World. And if you choose the option to talk to Undyne about the Dark World, Kris explains it to her in FULL DETAIL, but she brushes it off as a joke. Toriel finding her tyres slashed leads her to call the guards, and Kris leaves the door of the house wide open. They want Undyne to see the Dark World, I don't know WHY, but they do for some reason. But I REALLY doubt they're the Roaring Knight, they just don't have the motivation, and if it is them, it would be really weird for Toby to reveal that so early. I really doubt that kid wants to bring on the end of the world.

That's all I have for now!! Expect a more fleshed out version of this next time I play Deltarune with screenshots and such, though I may wait until chapter 3 and 4 come out! Thanks for reading!

[cassiesc0rner]

Impurities V

Synopsis: You're the new girl at East Highland High, your only goal is to get through school. Until you come across Nate Jacobs

Genre: angst, slight fluff

Pairing: Nate x fem!reader

Warnings: negative body-image, panic attack, manipulation, lying, jealousy, dark themes, violent behaviour, Nate talks about intimate stuff with Max, Nate is being really mean :/ Imk if I missed something

Song rec: praying - Isabel LaRosa | I wish you roses - Kali Uchis | mentally not here - Elita | Somewhat Damaged - NIN | Animal - Sir Chloe

WC: +9,5k

Other parts: previous part, next part

A/N: I know this one took a little longer than usual, but I fear the next updates will take a little longer too, since I’m a perfectionist and I don’t wanna do anything half assed and quick. This one is also really just angsty. :( but thank you guys in advance for reading, and for being so patient with me! ᥫ᭡

You were surprised when you got home and found your dad opening the door for you. It wasn't like he never opened the door for you before, but you were used to your mom being the only one who's home.

You didn't bother saying anything as you entered your home. He frowned for a moment when you walked past him, typing on your phone. He was surprised you didn't smile at him and greet him properly.

"Y/n?" he called out. You turned around and looked at him "What?" you asked nonchalantly. He looked at you completely bewildered, before he sighed "Where were you?" he asked with a frown.

Your eyes nearly jumped out of your skull "Excuse me... what did you say?" you asked, taking a few steps closer to him. "Did you just ask me where I was?" You scoffed in disbelief.

Your dad crossed his arms. "Yeah.. what's with the attitude?" he asked. "Oh, sorry, it's just.. you usually never ask me where I've been so..." You explained sarcastically, not sure if your parents were slowly losing their minds.

"I was outside with a friend." you added before taking your shoes off, and walking towards your room.

Your dad looked after you in confusion. He hadn't looked at you properly for the past few weeks, and he felt uneasy, seeing how different you dressed and behaved.

Earlier that day, he approached your mom and asked her, why you two got so quiet all of a sudden, and she told him about her concerns regarding you and Nate. At first, he thought she was just making a fuss over nothing again.

But after seeing you walk past him, looking nothing like his daughter, he became concerned as well. It wasn't just the short skirt and the way-too-tight top that threw him off; it was the fact that you suddenly looked like every highschool guy's fantasy.

If you were to ask a middle schooler what a girl looks like, they'd describe you: No body hair, long lashes, obsessed with pink and skirts.

You weren't like that before. You never wore skirts or bright, soft colours. You always wanted to look cool and dark, not soft and... feminine.

He shook his head in disbelief before he walked into the garden and lit his cigarette, worried about what you might've gotten yourself into.

And worrying about how he could get you out of it.

The next day you woke up feeling well-rested as your alarm rang at 11 AM. It was Saturday, and you and Nate had this unspoken rule of meeting up every Saturday.

He texted you that he'd pick you up at 1 PM, but he didn't tell you what you would be doing. You got up and chose one of your dresses for the day.

It was a vintage-style, pastel pink A-line dress, with a floral pattern and puffy short sleeves. You found the dress online one day and just had to order it.

You missed it sometimes, going shopping on your own and taking inspiration from your pinterest boards. Choosing your clothes yourself and not wearing what someone else wants you to wear.

You missed your pants, loose graphic tops and your comfortable sneakers. When you wore tighter fitting tops, you constantly felt the need to suck in your stomach, and sit straight to prevent any pesky rolls from appearing.

The worst part was, that you were absolutely sure Nate didn't notice your effort which pressured you even more, because he probably thought you simply looked like this all the time.

Eating with him was also something you couldn't enjoy as much anymore, because you got bloated after your meals sometimes. You trusted Nate with your life, but you just didn't want him to see you in any unflattering way ever.

You also obviously loved Nate, and his compliments, but you were so overwhelmed sometimes, because you were so focused on being perfect for him that you weren't able to pay attention to other things anymore.

You didn't want him to even think about looking at other girls, which he also barely did when you two were out together. But the words of your mother and Maddy made you feel so insecure.

If what they were saying was true, you should be concerned about Nate only liking you because of your style or appearance, but instead, you felt the need to impress him more and more every time, craving his approval.

You pushed the thoughts aside as you grabbed a fresh towel, your underwear, and your dress before you went to the bathroom to take a shower and shave, which was a part of your routine you had to get used to at first.

It wasn't like you never shaved before, but you definitely never took it as serious as now. You loved it when Nate would run his hands over your legs, or arms with this satisfied smile on his face before he would tell you how smooth and soft your skin feels.

After your morning routine, you sighed as you slid into the dress, before you brushed and blow-dried your hair.

When you left the bathroom and walked back towards your room, you were surprised to catch a glimpse of both of your parents in the kitchen. You were starting to get suspicious, since your dad usually would've been at work by now.

You brushed it off and walked into your room to do your make up. You usually didn't wear a lot of make up. You just made sure to accentuate your lashes, put on some tinted lip balm, and some concealer to hide any dark spots. Sometimes, you added a winged eyeliner, nothing too dramatic, which gave your eyes a more doll-like look.

Of course, you were aware of the fact that Nate loved that look on you; in his eyes it suited you perfectly.

Almost like you were his own personal doll.

You also put on a generous amount of your perfume, after noticing how much Nate loved it on you, and decided to stay in your room until he would call you to tell you he's there.

You used the time to think of something you could gift Nate. Sure, you planned the surprise party and you paid for a lot of the things already. But you felt obligated to buy him an extra present, simply because he bought you so many without a special occasion.

Before you could finish that thought however, the doorbell rang. You didn't bother to leave your room since you knew your mom ordered something a few days ago.

Until you heard his deep voice vibrating through the walls.

You quickly got up and nearly ran out of your room. You walked to the main hallway, spotting Nate, talking to your dad, with flowers in his hand. He was earlier than you expected.

You walked up to them until you reached Nate and nearly jumped into his arms. "Hey.." you whispered shyly as you smiled up at him, your eyes so full of love for him that he couldn't help but wonder if all of this was just an act.

If you also looked at Max that way.

"These are for you." he informed you with a small smile, as he handed you the bouquet of red roses. He bought them on his way to your place, mostly for you of course, but also in an attempt to make a good impression on your parents.

"Aw.. they're so beautiful thank you!" You exclaimed as a big smile made its way onto your face. You got on your tiptoes before pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"Is this the 'friend' you went out with yesterday?" your dad asked, causing your eyes to widen before you turned towards your dad "No.. I went to Mia's place yesterday." yeah sure "This.." you trailed off as your hand searched for Nate's "is my boyfriend." you announced.

Your dad nodded "Yeah.. we've talked before, right?" he asked and Nate forced a smile "Yeah..." Your dad chuckled "I would give you the 'don't you dare hurt my daughter' talk, but I'm sure my wife did that already."

Nate nodded slowly "Yeah.. she did." he sighed. "I'll bring her back tomorrow, if that's okay?" He added. Your dad hesitated for a moment before he nodded as well. "Alright, let's go." You said as you smiled up at Nate.

You handed the roses over to your dad "Can you put them in my vase for me?" you asked as you looked at him, and to his dismay, you weren't smiling at him the way you used to when you were younger.

Or the way you just smiled at Nate.

He nodded as he smiled down at you "Sure.. When are you going to be back tomorrow?" he asked as Nate opened the door, ready to leave as fast as possible. "Um.. I don't know?" you shrugged before you simply waved at him, which bothered your dad.

It bothered him because he knew that you didn't need him anymore. When you needed him he was at work, always, no exception. You must've been so lonely without him, just the thought of it made him feel awful.

It wasn't that he simply didn't care enough about you. He did, he just couldn't show it, because that meant he'd be vulnerable in front of his family.

And his dad didn't raise him like that.

As soon as the door closed behind you, your dad sighed in frustration "You know that this is your fault, right?" your mom taunted as she stood behind him.

Your dad turned around as he clenched his jaw "What was I supposed to do? Say 'no, don't ever talk to my daughter again'?" He angrily responded as he walked past her "That's not what I meant." She retorted calmly, as she watched him go into the kitchen.

When he didn't react, she shouted "You could've prevented all of this from happening, if you just would've been a real father."

He stopped in his tracks before he turned around, the flowers still in his hands as he approached your mom with heavy steps, causing her to take a step back in fear "Oh yeah?" he rumbled as he looked down at her "And what about you? Maybe if you did your job right, our daughter wouldn't cling to a guy like him."

She sighed before blinking up at him "What do you mean by that?" Your dad scoffed in disbelief "You know what I'm talking about. You and your fucking anxiety all the time... You raised a loner, and a weak one at that. Of course she's gonna run into the arms of the first person, who is nice to her for longer than just a week." he spat.

"It wasn't exactly easy to raise her alone, you know?" she defended herself "Jesus, you act like I did nothing for this family! Why do you think I'm constantly at work? So that you and her don't have to worry about money." he raised his voice, causing her to flinch.

He sighed as he recalled all the fights the two of them had, and how he would come into your room late at night, to tuck you into bed. That was one of the few interactions the two of you had when you were younger.

And you'd always complain about how your mom wouldn't let you go out with your 'friends', which caused them to think you were weird and a loner. Of course they weren’t real friends, but that alone made it even harder for you, to find actual people who you can trust and build a friendship with.

And whenever he tried to talk to your mom and tell her that she needed to get treatment for her anxiety, they would fight. Sometimes even until he had enough and just left, not coming home until the next day.

"Do me a favor," he said, pushing the roses into her hands, "put them in water and stop talking." he groaned, before leaving her behind to, once again, drive away and calm down.

Nate decided to take you to a pretty café today and you couldn't help but feel excited. Until you noticed that he was lost in thoughts for most of the car ride. He wasn't that talkative to begin with, but today was just different.

"And he suddenly asks me where I went when I got home yesterday, isn't that strange?" you said, looking at the menu, unsure which cake to choose. He nodded, narrowing his eyes at you without you noticing.

He wanted to ask you the same thing, but he knew you wouldn't tell him the truth "Yeah that's actually strange.. your family's strange in general though." Nate added.

He wondered what had gotten into your dad. At first, he didn't care that Nate wanted you to go to his party and sleep at his place, and then all of a sudden, he asks you where you went yesterday and when you’d be back home tomorrow?

He hoped he didn't have to take care of both of your parents. But he probably had to if your dad started to get in his way too.

But what was even more important right now was what you were doing with Max behind his back. And he was about to find out today, either you’ll tell him, or he will. "Nate?" he blinked before chuckling "Sorry.. I kind of zoned out."

You stroked his hand that was resting on the table, looking at him. "Is everything okay? You seem really distracted today." you frowned.

Nate shook his head dismissively "Yeah sure.. I'm just really stressed out at the moment.." you pouted in return "I'm sorry, is there something I can do? Do you wanna go home?" He shook his head again "No, let's order something and eat first."

You nodded as you continued to look at the list "I don't know which one to choose.." you groaned as your eyes flickered from one cake to another. "C'mon, let me choose for you." Nate offered as he looked at the menu, feeling some sense of control return to him.

"Yeah, please." you sighed. "I wanna get the cheesecake, but the strawberry one also looks really good." you explained. Nate nodded "Take the strawberry one." he demanded calmly.

You nodded before you started a new topic "Oh, by the way, what do you think of my new dress? I bought it recently.." you told him with a shy smile on your tinted lips. Nate furrowed his brows in return, realizing he hadn't complimented you today.

Did you feel neglected? Had this happened before? "Oh, you're right! I meant to ask you about it, since I've never seen you wear that before... You look absolutely gorgeous, as always." He smiled at you "How could I forget..." he mumbled more to himself than to you.

Maybe it did happen before and you felt like he's not paying attention to you anymore. Which definitely wasn't true at all, but you were insecure so what if you let your insecurities get the best of you?

That could be the only reason for you to even consider cheating on him with someone like Max.

After the short trip to the café nearby, you and Nate went straight home. His patience was running thin and he needed closure. You already noticed his mind was elsewhere, and he already planned on asking you about the situation once you were at his place.

As you entered Nate's home, Marsha greeted and approached you. "Hey, Sweetie." She exclaimed as she hugged you softly. "How did your mom take the news?" she asked.

You sighed "To be honest, not so well.. Haven't spoken to her in days." you admited with a sad smile. "Oh... that's not good. I guess she's not open to meeting up with me then?" She added "I didn't even get to ask her, because we had a pretty big fight." you admitted.

Marsha frowned "I'm sorry, Honey." just as she was about to say something else, Nate interrupted "We'll figure something out, I bet it's gonna be alright." you nodded in response "C'mon let's go upstairs." he added before he took your hand in his. You smiled friendly at Marsha before you followed him.

Once you two entered his room, Nate closed the door behind him, not moving from the spot.

Then you heard the click sound of the lock.

You turned around and looked at him, with this confused look which Nate usually found absolutely endearing. When he simply stared at you, you felt even smaller than you already were in his presence.

You chuckled nervously, unsure of what he was going to do next. Did he plan on having sex with you right away? Why else would he lock the door?

"Are you.. just gonna stand there?" You asked nervously. He chuckled drily before shaking his head "I'm just looking at you for a moment." he reasoned.

You approached him with a shy smile, before wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your head on his chest, releasing a content sigh as you did.

Usually Nate would smile in return or react in literally any way, but right now he decided to wait until you would let go of him. Right now he didn't like the way his your perfume clouded his senses, or the way his your bag sat so nicely on your shoulder.

Once you removed your arms and took a step back to look at him, Nate decided now's the moment. His back leaned against the door as he stared you down. "I need to ask you something." he announced. You frowned, before nodding and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Where were you yesterday?"

Your eyes widened. You didn't expect him to ask you that. You involuntarily swallowed as you playfully furrowed your brows "I was at Mia's, I told you." he chuckled again "I know what you told me." he said as he crossed his arms, an insincere smile on his face that sent a shiver down your spine.

You looked at the ground as you tried to think of something, anything you could say. "Y/n, where were you yesterday?" it was the same question, but his tone was sterner. You didn't dare to look at him, knowing he'd see how nervous you were.

Not like he couldn't tell already just by the way you stared at the ground. "I.. was at M-Mia's-" Nate groaned "No, you weren't." he interrupted "I know for a fact that you weren't." his voice dropped an octave, as he tried his best to control himself.

He took notice of the way your breathing picked up as you still didn't look at him. "Nate... Why are you asking me this?" you asked as you tried to calm down, and buy time to come up with something else you could tell Nate.

"Because you're lying to me, and I wanna know why." He reasoned. You couldn’t tell if he knew you were with Max, or if he talked to Mia and only knew that you weren't with her. All you knew was that he wasn't messing around. "Why do you think I'm lying to you?" you asked as you finally looked up at him.

You've never seen that look on his face before.

This dark, cold look that made your breath hitch in fear. "Do you think I'm stupid?" he suddenly asked, his voice void of any emotion. You quickly shook your head "No, of course not! I just... I don't know where this is coming from suddenly." you admitted.

Nate sighed "Y/n... I'm going to ask you this one last time and you better tell me the truth." he warned, "Where were you yesterday?" Your breathing got quicker again, not allowing you to focus. "I.. I wasn't at Mia's place..." you admited shakily.

Nate nodded "That's right, you weren't." his tone softened just slightly "Now tell me... who were you with yesterday?" You played with your fingers as you felt like your heart would stop any moment from now. "Nate... I-I can't tell you."

Nate clenched his jaw as he inhaled sharply. "I've always been honest with you, is it too much to ask you to do the same?" he asked drily "I don't... ask for much, you know? I'm willing to give you everything I can and all I want in return, is your honesty and most importantly, your loyalty."

You nodded as you tried to calm down again. "I love you, but I can't tell you, you really have to trust me with this." he scoffed "You want me to simply trust you, after you just lied to me?"

You nodded erratically "Are you scared of me?" You shook your head as you blinked rapidly. Of course you weren't scared of Nate, you’re sure he'd never hurt you. But he was so scary in this moment that you didn’t know how to handle it.

"Then why don't you tell me what's going on?" He asked, even more irritated than before. You sighed as you tried to come up with an excuse, so desperate to keep the party a secret for as long as possible. "Okay.. um.." you started as you suddenly got an idea.

"The thing is, I had an appointment yesterday and I didn't want to tell you because.." you trailed off once Nate scoffed "Stop fucking lying, Y/n!" he raised his voice at you, causing you to flinch as he started to lose his patience and his temper.

Nate gripped both of your arms firmly, but not tight enough to hurt you. You flinched once again as you looked up at him. "I know you met up with Max." you shook your head rapidly as you remembered Max's words.

"Please don't let Nate beat my ass if he finds out we went out alone."

Nate laughed in disbelief before his grip tightened on you, causing you to whimper in fear. "I saw you, okay? I saw you get out of his fucking car, so don't fucking lie to me!" he shouted.

You furrowed your brows in confusion. What did he mean by that? Did he see you get out of his car when you two went to the mall, or when he drove you home?

Was he.. waiting in front of your house? No, you were sure he wouldn't do that.

"You saw me get out of his car? Were you following me?" you asked in disbelief.

Shit.

Nate looked to the side for a moment to regain his composure "I meant, I saw you get into his car. Of course I didn't follow you, you never gave me a reason to." he said in a calmer tone this time "But when you're fucking lying to me, to meet up with another guy, I might have to do it, no?"

You looked to the ground again "Did he touch you?" you shook your head "Did you touch him?" you shook your head again. He wanted to believe you, but your desperate attempts to hide the truth really messed with him.

He swung you around, pushing your back into the wall and knocking your breath away in the process. Your looked at him like a deer in headlights, as you tried to process what was happening. You didn't even notice how quick you were breathing because you were so fixated on Nate.

"You don't get how serious this is, do you?" he gritted his teeth "I told you about Maddy and how she cheated on me and-and you... you meet up with Max, behind my fucking back.. I mean, you know how that looks, right?" he rambled.

You felt your vision starting to blur slightly as you looked up at Nate "N-Nate-" you whimpered, and he scoffed in return "I mean, what is it? Does he treat you better or did you just get bored of me?" He asked furiously.

You breathed even heavier as you tried to keep your tears inside. "I didn't cheat on you!" you raised your voice, but it came out shaky. Nate nodded sarcastically "You think I believe that after you lied to me?"

You sighed "I'm sorry for lying to you, but you can't actually think I-" Nate removed one hand from your arm, before delivering a punching to the wall next to your head, causing you to whimper and close your eyes. "Then just tell me what happened between you two!" he roared.

You shakily exhaled "Nate, please.. You're scaring me." you pleaded desperately, and all he did was clench his jaw "You told me you're not scared of me earlier, was that also a lie?" he retorted.

"I didn't cheat on you, I love you and I would never do something like that to you." you started again "You know... how long it took for me that day, to even be able to... get naked in front of you." you sobbed, feeling embarrassed as your mind went back to that day. "Do you really think, I'd just.. cheat on you with a boy I barely even know?" you sniffled.

Nate chuckled, unable to contain his bitterness "I mean who knows, maybe that was an act as well." He snarled.

Your heart broke into pieces, the weight of his words heavy on you. Not only because he didn't believe you, but because you struggled so much to allow him to get this close to you, to see everything of you and now he seemed to make fun of you.

You tried to break free from his grip as you were about to cry, and didn't want him to see. But Nate was obviously stronger, almost smiling as you thrashed in his grip. "What is it, am I right?" He taunted as his other hand returned to your arm.

You shook your head as your lip trembled, not daring to speak because you knew it would come out in sobs. "C'mon, tell me, are you angry because I'm right?" He asked again.

Nate didn't notice how far he went, not even when he heard your silent cries. To him, it seemed like a confession rather than a denial.

He was sure you were crying because he caught you.

You felt yourself getting more and more lightheaded, mostly because of your irregular breathing which resulted in a lack of oxygen. "I.. never cheated on you!" you raised your voice once again. "I met up with him, yes. But.. that doesn't mean I cheated." you tried to sound as coherent as you could in the current situation.

You gripped his arms as a tear rolled down your cheeks. "Let go of me!" you yelled, as you tried to break free once again. He frowned as he looked down at you, still convinced that you were in the wrong. He leaned in closer, as his eyes bored into yours, before he whispered "What were you doing in his car then?"

Nate was torn between his anger towards you for breaking his trust, and the twisted and dark part of him which reveled in your tears which slowly started to spill, knowing that he caused them.

You sighed before you looked into his dark eyes, your brows furrowed in anger "I planned a surprise with him, for your fucking birthday, okay?" you spat as tears continued to well up in your eyes.

Nate fell silent as his thoughts went back to the messages Max had sent you. It actually made sense, for the first time he actually felt like you told the truth.

His grip on you softened slightly, and you used the chance to remove his hands from your arms before you pushed him away and sank onto the floor.

He looked down at you "... Seriously?" he asked softly. You sobbed as you harshly opened your bag before your shaky hands tried their best to grab and unlock your phone. Tears rolled down your face, as you couldn't contain them anymore.

Once you unlocked it and opened Max's chat, you held it towards Nate "Take it!" you wailed. He slowly took your phone, reading through the chat as he felt his heart sink more and more with each message.

Some even showing how excited you were to ‘finally do something for your boyfriend’, since you felt like you weren't good enough after he always made you gifts and you never gave him anything back.

He could feel your love just through the texts you sent Max, and it made him want to throw the phone away and scream in agony. Not only because he was so wrong, but also because of how awful he treated you, his sweet girl, his everything.

You continued to cry and breathe heavily, as you felt your chest tighten more and more. You never expected Nate to push you, or talk to you like this. He never got this rough with you, not even when you were just friends.

It shattered the image you had of him.

"Fuck..." he breathed out before he closed your phone and rubbed his face in disbelief, looking down at you with regret in his eyes.

He crouched down next to where you cowered, next to his door. You hid your face behind your arms as you continued to cry and hyperventilate. You felt like everything you saw of Nate was an act that he put on, in order to lure you in.

He reached his hand out to stroke your arm. "I'm so sorry... fuck, I don't even know what to-" You slapped his hand away "Don't.. touch... me." you choked out.

Nate was taken aback, not used to you talking to him like that, or slapping his hand away for that matter. Under any other circumstances he would be pissed and try to assert his dominance over you.

Not like he wasn’t pissed already, but more at himself for losing control, and not at you. He was supposed to protect you and make you feel safe with him, not repeat his old mistakes.

Right now he just wanted to scoop you up, and hold you close when he noticed you were sobbing on his floor, completely scared and shaken.

He went too far, way too far.

He had to fix it, and he had to think quickly because everything depended on this moment. If he made one more wrong move, everything could shatter into pieces right now.

Your tears continued to fall, as you slowly tried to get up again. You were torn, because you wanted to leave, be alone and think about what just happened, and at the same time you needed someone who holds you and comforts you, before you actually break down again.

Once you stood on your shaky legs, you reached out, snatching your phone from his grasp. Without another glance his direction you took small steps towards the door, ready to unlock it and leave.

"What are you doing?" Nate panicked as he walked in front of you. You flinched at the sound of his voice, which caused him to frown, once he realized that you were actually scared of him.

But Nate would never let you leave like this.

Not only because he was actually scared to lose you right now, but mostly because he saw how shaky your legs were and how disturbed you looked. He couldn't let you leave alone like this, it was dangerous.

"I'm leaving.." you sniffled as you walked past him. He wanted to hug you and hold you close, but he was so scared to touch you. Almost afraid he'd break you or push you further away from him.

"Y/n, please, let me explain-" he stopped when you looked up at him, your eyes red and glassy, your make-up smudged and your cheeks stained with dark tears, a result of your mascara and eyeliner. You looked broken.

"Do you know... how fucking hard it was for me to trust you?" You asked as new tears were threatening to spill "I.. can't believe you actually considered.. that I put on an act in front of you. After everything I tried, to be.. perfect for you." you added. "I.. thought you were the only person in my life.. who would never hurt me!"

You suddenly broke down in tears, as the wall you so desperately tried to hold crumbled. Nate was taken aback when you raised your voice at him and cursed. He wasn't used to hearing you talk like that, and it made him realize even more how deeply upset you were.

"I know, and I'm so sorry.. I never should've said that, please, just let me hold you." he softly offered "I can tell that you're not okay right now, and I know that it's my fault, but I can assure you it's never gonna happen again."

He wanted to believe what he had just promised you, but he knew that another argument like this was bound to happen sometime. Either because you were too gullible around men, or because he was unable to keep the control he had over you.

Now that he’s seen you actually fight with him, he knew you weren’t going to stay as obedient as you were anymore. You actually talked back, defended yourself and stood your ground against him. Something he hadn’t considered up until this moment.

He took notice of how you gasped for air as you continued to cry. "Please let.. let me take care of you, yeah?" he carefully asked as he took a step closer "I'm not a monster, you don't have to be afraid of me.." he reminded you.

Once he was close enough, he carefully placed a hand on your shoulder in order to test if you'd push him away again. When you shuddered, he took a step closer and wrapped his arms around you, making sure to not hold you too tight, since you already seemed to be suffocating.

He's seen Maddy cry, he's seen Cassie cry, but nothing compared to seeing you cry. He hated himself for making you feel like this, and he hated himself even more for feeling a strange sense of satisfaction at your display of vulnerability earlier.

You just looked so pretty, even when you cried. "Shh.. it's okay, can you breathe with me?" He asked once he noticed you still hadn't calmed down. When you didn't respond and continued to gasp for air, he almost started to panic as well.

Nate couldn't understand how one confrontation was all it took for you to get a panic attack. But he was determined to regain control of you and the situation at hand.

In his eyes he had every right to assume you cheated on him, after you lied about going out with Max and after the messages he saw in the preview. But he also understood that you were upset, because his choice of words might’ve hurt you.

Not to mention, you planned this surprise for him because you loved him, and only him, and all he did was yell at you to tell him the truth, instead of simply trusting you in the first place.

Your heart pounded in your chest, as you tried to focus on anything but the overwhelming panic that consumed you. Your hands trembled uncontrollably, and you felt a wave of nausea hit you like a truck. The room seemed to spin, the walls closing in on you.

"Hey, look at me what's wrong?" he asked as his hands moved back to your shoulders. You looked up at him as you felt like your head was spinning. You weren't sure how to tell him what you needed, but you could see worry written all over his features.

"I.. I need to.. breathe.. fuck..." you croaked, panic visible on your features "I need air.." you added. Nate cursed under his breath as he realized you were actually having a full-blown panic attack. He had to distract you and calm you down, but he didn't know how.

He took a deep breath himself, as he closed his eyes, before opening them again "Y/N, please... breathe with me," he urged, his voice shaky yet soothing. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Just follow my breath."

But his words barely registered in your mind, your thoughts racing too fast, too loud, to pay attention to anything. The mistrust, the fear of losing him, the shame of your perceived betrayal— it all pressed down on you, it nearly suffocated you.

Nate watched, helpless and horrified, as you cried in front of him. With each passing moment he saw the damage he had caused more and more, and it terrified him. He reached out again, more gently this time as he tried to comfort you.

Nate realized that mere words wouldn't be enough to undo the pain he had caused. He had to show you somehow, that he could be the person you needed. And he needed to gain control over the situation. Nate took another deep breath, trying to steady his own racing heart, and slowly moved closer to you.

He gently rubbed his thumbs over your shoulders, his touch light and hesitant. "Y/n, look at me," he said softly. "Focus on me, okay? Just on me." His voice was low and calming, a stark contrast to his earlier tone.

You hesitated, your vision still blurred with tears, but the sincerity in his voice made you look up. Nate's eyes were filled with regret and concern, completely different to the way he looked at you before.

"That's it," he whispered encouragingly, his thumb continued to brush your shoulder in a soothing rhythm. "Just keep looking at me. We're going to get through this together."

Nate took another deep breath, exaggerating the action to show you what he wanted you to do. "In through your nose, out through your mouth," he repeated, his eyes never leaving yours. "Just like this."

You tried to mimic his breathing, struggling at first but gradually falling into a more regular rhythm. Nate continued to guide you, his voice steady and reassuring. "Yeah just like that. Just keep breathing with me. It'll pass, I promise."

He gently reached for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours, in an attempt to ground you. "I'm here," he murmured. "I'm not going anywhere... and I never meant to hurt you."

You sniffled as you nodded rapidly. "We'll talk about it and get through this, right?" he asked, needing your reassurance this time, to which you nodded again. "Everything's gonna be fine again, just breathe." he instructed.

Gradually, the panic began to go away, your breaths coming more evenly. Nate's steady presence, his genuine regret, and his undevided attention helped steady you, pulling you back from the edge.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice still shaky but more coherent. Nate nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll always be here for you. Always."

Nate knew that this was just the beginning of a long journey to rebuild what he had broken. But for now, he was focused on you, on making sure you were okay, and on showing you that he could be the man you needed right now.

He slowly pulled you into his arms, nearly clinging onto you as he sighed in relief "I love you so much.. don't ever forget that, yeah?" he pressed a tender kiss onto your head "I can't lose you.. That's why I got so angry. I shouldn't have said all those things.." he reasoned.

You nodded slowly as you inhaled his scent, which always made you feel so safe. You inhaled sharply one more time as you closed your eyes, feeling incredibly exhausted and lethargic, after your adrenaline level dropped back to normal.

Nate took notice of your physical state, sensing that you probably want to rest and feel comfortable again. He gently pulled back and cupped your face, his thumb brushing away the lingering tears. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?" he said softly, his voice filled with genuine affection.

You nodded slowly, too drained to argue or protest. Nate slowly removed the bag from your shoulder before placing it down next to the door. Then he led you to the bathroom, his arm wrapped around your waist.

Once inside, he carefully sat you down on the edge of his cabinet. He grabbed a washcloth and dampened it with warm water, then gently began wiping away the remains of your smudged makeup from your face. His touch was surprisingly gentle.

As he worked, he kept murmuring praises. "You're so beautiful... I never want to see you like that again. I'm here for you." His voice was soothing for your nerves, and you were starting to relax as you let him take care of you.

After he had cleaned your face, he slowly stood up from his crouching position before he left the room for a few seconds, and you hated how you already felt lonely.

He came back shortly after with one of his soft, oversized shirts in his hand. "Here, put this on. You'll feel more comfortable," he suggested, handing it to you. You took the shirt with a grateful nod, and slowly started to change, your movements shaky from exhaustion.

Nate averted his eyes respectfully, giving you a moment of privacy. Once you were dressed in his shirt, which smelled faintly of him and brought a sense of comfort, he helped you back to his bed.

You crawled under the covers, feeling the softness envelop you, and Nate slipped in next to you, unsure whether or not you wanted him to pull you close.

When you opened your eyes and looked at him like you were about to cry again, he scooted slightly closer, once you extended your arm and wrapped it around his waist, your body trembling ever so slightly.

He hated himself for feeling a sense of relief wash over him. He should feel awful for making you feel like this in the first place, and deep down he did, but he couldn't help but feel glad that you were clinging onto him.

He was scared he had lost you for a moment, but now he was more than sure that his small outburst pulled you closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around you securely, his warmth and steady heartbeat making you feel safe again. "I'm here, yeah? Just rest now," he whispered, pressing another kiss to your forehead. "I've got you."

You nestled against him, your eyelids growing heavy. The exhaustion began to take over, and you felt yourself drifting off, surrounded by Nate's protective embrace. For the first time since the argument, you felt at peace, knowing he was there with you.

While you started drifting off to sleep however, Nate already contemplated what he'd do about Max. Sure, you two weren't secretly cheating, but he couldn't shake the feeling, that Max was a threat to your relationship nonetheless.

He still had to make sure that Max wouldn't tell you anything about Nate's past, and even if Nate would never admit it, he was insecure, and he was overthinking everything Max did. For example, why would he help you throw Nate a birthday party? They weren't that close, so what if Max was using it as an excuse to get close to you?

Of course you wouldn't notice it, you were too oblivious, even when Nate used to openly flirt with you back when you were just friends. God, he wished he could go through your messages with Max one more time, to search for possible hints that prove Max didn't only have good intentions.

But he obviously couldn't just ask you, he promised something like earlier would never happen again, and despite knowing that it would happen again, sooner or later, he couldn't just ask you about it this soon.

He decided to let you rest for now and take matters into his own hands once the time was right.

Once you opened your eyes, you noticed the soft light of the setting sun, which illuminated Nate's room. You had no idea how long you were asleep and once you tried to move, but felt the restriction of Nate's arm around you, you remembered what or who caused you to sleep in the first place.

You sighed softly as your mind went back to all the things Nate said. You know that he didn't mean it, and that he was just driven by anger. But the fact that he totally discredited your feelings during all of this, bothered you. And the way he shoved you into his wall, before punching it, scared you as well.

However, you assumed that his fear was mostly induced by the things that happened between him and Maddy.

Not to mention, that his anger wasn’t something he could control. You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, and you weren’t particularly angry at him. You just hoped that he’d work on that in the future, not only for your sake, but for his as well.

Your gaze shifted towards his face, taking in how peaceful he looked right now. You wished he could always be like this.

Once you tried to free yourself from his embrace, he subconsciously tightened his grip on you, causing you to fall flush against his chest. He slowly stirred awake, before opening his eyes and looking at you.

You both didn't know how to react, the tension thick in the air. But once you smiled softly at him, he started to relax, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, before smiling back at you.

"How're you?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep. You sighed before sliding out of his grip and sitting up in his bed. "I'm better, my head just hurts a little bit, but that's fine..." you trailed off as you looked to the side.

Once silence set in, he sighed and stroked your thigh gently "I'm sorry about earlier.. I don't know what came over me." he said, his tone soft as he tried to appear as sad and regretful as possible.

"It's just.. Maddy, she ruined my trust and I was so sure you'd never betray me, which you clearly didn't, but when I saw all these signs, I was so sure that you did and I just snapped.." he ranted.

You could see the distress on his face and it made you frown, since you could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that.." you responded.

He was so glad that you didn't push him away, and accepted his apology. But he needed reassurance, any kind of reassurance that you wouldn't leave him. "It's fine.. I just want you to know, that if I ever get angry at you, I don't mean it like that, yeah? I just can't control myself sometimes and.. fuck.." he sighed, before he continued "I'm just so scared to lose you, I don't know how to handle it."

You sighed in response "Nate, you won't lose me just because I'm meeting up with other people, you know?" you carefully explained, to which he nodded.

That wasn't the reassurance he was hoping for though.

He wanted you to tell him you're never going to leave him, that you were his and that you'd stay far away from everyone else guys. "Yeah, sure it's just.. I need you, y/n. I don't think I could live without you." he said in an unusually emotional tone, almost as if he was about to cry, secretly hoping he’d be more successful if he showed you how desperate he truly was.

You stroked caressingly through his hair, in an attempt to calm him down. "Nate, I'm not gonna leave you, okay? I've seen you get angry before, and I know that it's not your fault.." His ears perked up at that. It wasn't his fault? That had to be the first time he heard someone say that.

He looked up at you "What do you mean it's not my fault?" you shrugged "I just don't think you do it on purpose..” When Nate still looked up at you, you elaborated.

“I know you don't really wanna talk about your dad, and that's totally fine, but I know that he causes a lot of your anger. I see how stressed you get because of him and the pressure of being perfect at everything.”

As if on command, his sad expression was replaced with a different one. Almost as if he was in awe, or moved by your words. No one ever seemed to acknowledge the pressure he had to endure, everyone only blamed him for everything he did.

His thoughts were racing, as you once again surprised him with your understanding nature. He didn’t expect that reaction, or to feel so understood and surprisingly warm. He couldn’t help but think about all the ways he could use your sympathy, to keep you close to him.

“You.. really think so?” he asked hopeful, to which you nodded. “Of course, I can’t imagine what that must be like.. I mean my parents are nowhere near perfect either, but they never really pressured me into anything except for getting decent grades.” you chuckled.

“I.. never thought anyone would understand,” he frowned as leaned his head flush against your outer thigh. “everyone always blames me for everything.. But I don’t do it on purpose.” he continued. “I know.. It’s hard to control it.” you cooed as you continued to stroke his hair.

You were speaking from experience, having to fight against your anger as well, whenever your parents got on your nerves. It definitely wasn’t easy, and that’s why you understood where Nate was coming from.

While you continued to comfort Nate, he already calculated his next moves. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help but wonder if this meant he could slip up from time to time, without losing you.

You technically just gave him permission to treat you like this, without being aware of it. And he was so proud, because you truly were perfect and you prove it over and over again.

After you two spent the weekend, you had to go back to school the following day. You obviously weren't aware of it, but Nate already planned to approach Max during their football training that day.

When Nate entered the locker room, most of his teammates were nearly ready, but Max wasn’t there yet.

Of course he didn’t plan to confront him in front of the other guys, even though he felt the urge to let everyone know, that they should stay the fuck away from you.

Once everyone was done and went ahead, Nate was still getting dressed, taking his time in case Max would still show up. Just then he indeed entered the locker room, his smile slowly fading when he looked around the room and noticed he was alone with none other than Nate.

Nate locked eyes with him, as he wondered what took him so long to get there. Was he meeting up with you again? It shouldn’t matter to him anymore, because now he knew you weren’t cheating on him. But he still didn’t want Max to spend more time with you than necessary.

“Hey..” Max greeted Nate, before hurrying and sitting down on the bench opposite from him. “What’s up..” Nate responded, his gaze basically glued onto him, as he laced up his cleats.

Max placed his bag onto the bench and sat down, starting to get ready as fast as possible. Not only because he arrived later than everyone else did, but also because he wanted to escape Nate.

“So,” Nate began, his voice surprisingly calm, almost friendly, which made Max feel even more uneasy. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with my girl lately, huh?”

Max’s hand froze inside his bag, as he looked towards Nate with the most neutral expression he could muster, but the hint of panic from before didn’t go unnoticed by Nate.

Max already expected Nate to confront him, after receiving your text on sunday, which informed him that he found out about everything. But that didn’t make it any easier for him.

He was also wondering, how he found out in the first place. You were hell-bent on keeping it a secret, so he could only assume that he caught on somehow and forced you to admit it.

He felt so sorry for you.

“Yeah, I guess you could say so..” he chuckled nervously, averting his gaze and rummaging through his bag. “You two get close? Maybe closer than you should?” he asked bitterly.

“Tell me, Max,” he said, standing up and stepping closer to him. “You think she’s pretty?” Max swallowed harshly, struggling to find the right words. He felt like Nate would get mad, no matter what he’d say.

“I mean, you spent enough time with her to notice. Those eyes, that smile… I’m sure anyone would get weak..” he paused, letting his words sink in. “Bet you even wondered what it’s like to be with her, right?”

Max’s discomfort was clearly visible, and Nate enjoyed every second of it, knowing he had the power to cause so much distress with so little effort.

“You know,” Nate added, as he took another step closer to Max, who looked at him with fear in his eyes. “She’s different, fucking perfect even. I know every inch of her, the way she moans when I touch her and the way she tastes, God..” Nate trailed off, enjoying the way Max seemed to squirm under his gaze.

“Listen Nate,” Max started cautiously, trying to keep eye contact but failing against Nate’s intense stare. “I-I don’t know what you think happened, but there’s nothing going on between me and Y/n. We were just-”

Max swallowed harshly, knowing that he was playing a dangerous game with him. He glanced around the locker room, hoping, no, praying that anyone would come in and interrupt their conversation.

“She asked me for help because it was important to her, and I thought you’d want me to support your girlfriend, so I said yes!” He explained himself to Nate “I swear, this was all about your birthday, I never would make any advances. I know she’s yours, man, everyone knows.” he continued.

“Y/n just wanted to make sure you have a great birthday, I really-” he paused, trying to interpret Nate’s reaction but all he got, was that same cold calculating gaze.

“And about what you said earlier,” Max added, “I-I’m not thinking about her like that. I mean, she’s your girlfriend and I respect that.”

Max clenched his fists, not out of aggression, but as a way to steady himself. He knew he stepped into dangerous territory –one wrong word could set Nate off.

When Nate still stared at him, Max sighed “Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped, I just wanted to help her –and you, of course.” he quickly added.

Nate smirked, as he finally averted his gaze. “Let’s say, you were just trying to help. That’s nice of you, really.” he finally responded, easing Max’s mind just slightly. “But you gotta understand, that it’s really suspicious, when my girlfriend meets up with another guy behind my back, no?”

Max quickly nodded in response “Yeah, of course.. that’s totally valid.” Nate nodded as well before continuing “And you also understand, that I don’t like to share my girlfriend with anyone, and that it’s my job as a man, to make sure everyone knows that, right?”

Max nodded as well “No, yeah, absolutely-” Nate chuckled “I mean, I’m not a fucking pussy. I gotta protect what’s mine.” he interrupted, causing Max to nod again.

Nate sighed, almost in relief, as he put on a smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes “Good, I’ll see you outside then.” he patted his shoulder, like the two just had a friendly conversation and as if Nate didn’t just scare the shit out of Max. He just nervously smiled back at him, as Nate left him behind so he could get dressed in peace.

Once he left the locker room, Max sighed before slumping down on the bench again. He hated how helpless Nate made him feel. And he hated it even more, that you had to end up with a prick like him.

He wanted to tell you what happened, finally warn you about him. But it wasn’t only dangerous, it was also too late. He knew that Nate had his way of swaying girls, and the way you talked about him when you two texted, just confirmed that.

He could only hope, that you’d see his evil side one day, and realize what he’s truly like.

✎ damn, this was intense😓 hope you guys enjoyed it though, and as always let me know what you thought about this part!! ♡

- Cassandra

Taglist:

@lilyrachelcassidy, @endless----love, @sophsss867, @jennnsthings, @digitalpup444, @vividfleur, @tsofo26, @lunalvrsblog, @sunshinedaisy21

[sensei-venus]

Fluff with robby about trying to pick baby names for their daughter?

Baby Names~

(Unedited) (Fluff, Pregnant!Reader, Mentions of Midwife!Moon, Moon is number one RobbyxReader shipper, Hinted mention of Reader having some kind of childhood trauma.)

The amount of baby books Robby had picked up was insane. When he came home and dumped the pile of books on their bed, Reader was more than a little shocked. Most of them were about raising kids, newborn and toddler age.

But a few were just purely name driven.

Reader puffed out her cheeks a little while looking though one of the books. Her eyes scanning over page after page of baby names. There were so many to choose from. It made her head hurt just looking at all of them. The ink almost seemed to imprint onto her brain the more she read.

She sighed “Do we have to do this right now? Can’t we just like wait or something until maybe she gets here?” Reader asked out loud. Robby scooted a little closer to her on the bed. A thicker book clutched in his hands. He looked up from what he was reading saying “Reader your already half way though the pregnancy, we have to at least look and some of them. At least to get an idea on what we might end up naming her.” He eyed her bump.

Reader rubbed said bump while still holding the book.

She really had no idea on what they should name their baby. She was never one to think of baby names, ever. The idea of even having a baby seemed so far gone in her mind. A baby was always at the very back of her mind. As a kid she didn’t like the idea of having kids in general, as a teen it was the same way. But then she meet Robby and it felt like a huge maybe. They both agreed that having kids wasn’t out of the question, but it would be far down the line.

Apparently far down the line was two years into their marriage after failed birth control and condoms.

It was just a lot to take in all at once.

It scared her at first and it still scared her now, months later.

Reader didn’t notice the way she zoned out while rubbing her belly. Her eyes hazy until she felt Robby’s hand skim over her knuckle.

“Sorry I got a little distracted.” Her voice was more of a whisper.

“It’s okay, I know you’re your thinking a lot. I am too, I didn’t think we would have to be sitting down and picking baby names so soon if you know what I mean.” He chuckled a little which perked her up a little. With a smile she looked down at her own hand and Robby’s. Both cradling her bump. She wasn’t huge but her round little belly was there.

A kick against their hands had them both surprised for a moment.

“Guess I woke her up with all of that negative stuff huh?”

“Don't say that, you're just stressed. We don't have to come up with a name today just maybe get some ideas okay? Don't stress yourself and the baby out. Just flip through it for a while” Robby smiles and goes back to his own book. Reader mumbles a little but goes back to her book.

“Moon said she was coming over this week to check on me. She wants to take my vitals for her charts.”

“Umm that's good. Do you want me to stay with you or…”

“No don't worry about it, it's nothing too big so I wouldn't worry about it.”

There was a long quiet pause as they both looked through their books.

Suddenly an idea popped into her head mid-flip of a random page. She set the book down saying “How would you feel if we named her something to honor Moon.” Robby slapped his book down and raised a brow at his wife.

“You want to name our baby after Moon? As in name out baby Moon?”

“No! Not name her straight out Moon. Name her something maybe similar. Moon has always been so supportive of us. Even back in high school she was great, she always had my back and when I got with you and everyone was a little iffy, she never questioned us being together. She's always just so nice to us. Hell she's even being our midwife for basically free… I just think it would be sweet.”

Robby couldn't really argue with her on that. Moon had been weirdly such a big support to them. It was so odd that Hawks's girlfriend would be the one to not say shit about their relationship. And now she was doing so much for them, looking out for Reader and the baby. Going as far as to offer to be their midwife because of Reader’s anxiety and past trauma.

He gave a small sigh, snuggling up next to his wife.

“I'm going to guess you have been thinking about this a lot? Any names stick out to you?”

Reader nodded shile tossing the book to the side. Humming she looked up at the ceiling “Well I was thinking maybe Eclipse? Meteora?” Robby visibly scrunched up his face. He was definitely not a fan of those names and Reader could tell. Thinking harder she offered up one last thought.

“What about Luna? Like the moon phase.”

Robby had to admit that he kinda liked the sound of that name. It was short and sweet and did remind him of the other girl a little bit. One of his hands rested on Reader's belly, rubbing circles into her skin ever so gently. He moved to rest his cheek on her. He gave a small smile saying ever so sweetly “Luna? Do you like that name? Lunaa.” he almost wanted to laugh. Reader did too but stopped herself. Talking to their daughter was a thing Robby had only picked up recently and it never failed to make the girl flustered.

But then a moment later she kicked which made the both of them stop what they were doing. Robby blinked a few times saying “Luna? Luna?” and there was another tiny kick.

They both laughed at the little ones' reaction inside Reader. Reader put her hand on Robby saying “I think she really likes the name Luna. Or she's just moving. I can't really tell.” she laughed a little. Robby kissed her belly and whispered “Nah I think she really does like the name. So I guess in a few more months we are going to get to meet our little Luna in person. Isn't that right Luna.”

There was a small shift in Reader's belly, the skin moving a little as “Luna” moved to a new position.

A sweet little name for a sweet little girl who would soon make a lot of people in their tiny little world happy.

[shelbystales]

Best Aid - Part Nine

Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

Summary: you are a young doctor in Birmingham. After a crazy incident, Thomas Shelby shows up at your hospital. You don’t know much about the man everyone seems to fear, but you definitely will.

Warning: swearing

A/N:  Comment and interact, tell me what you think! it means a looot. Hi guyss!!!! long time no see hahaha, sorry for the hiatus, needed some time. Can't promise i'll be back 100% posting every week but i'll try for sure! Gotta say i missed writing :)

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

A week has passed since your last conversation with Thomas. In that time, you had only seen each other once when he came to pick up John Doe, now also known as Johnny Dogs. This time apart helped you sort out your feelings about everything you had been through in the past few weeks. 

Surprisingly, the week went by like any other. You kept up with your shifts, visited your mom and brother over the weekend, and caught up on your TV series episodes. It felt like everything had returned to how it was before the man with the incredibly blue eyes walked into your emergency room, and you saved him. 

Back to your normal and safe routine.

As soon as your shift ended, you joined Jeremy and his fiancé, Alan, for a pizza night at their place. You spent the evening eating, drinking wine, and gossiping about everything, from the most unrealistic romances at the hospital to Alan’s latest work presentation.

The evening turned out better than you imagined. Being in Jeremy's company is always great; he's a clown, constantly making everyone laugh, even if not intended. 

Alan, on the other hand, has a geekier style and is a bit more reserved, resembling those cute librarians the main character falls for in a classic romantic movie. They were a perfect match.

After dinner, your stomach ached from laughter and overeating. The fact that you spent the past few hours laughing and getting drunk made you feel like things were back on track again. 

You left their place feeling happy and carefree.

The lobby of your hotel was nearly deserted, with only a few employees and scattered guests, which was odd because the hotel restaurant was usually packed at this hour every day.

As you waited for the elevator, the quiet murmur of the lobby was interrupted by two passing employees whispering about the kitchen being closed for maintenance. “An intern messed something up,” the woman said, her voice loud enough for you to catch.

When the elevator doors opened, Thomas stood there, looking effortlessly handsome. Your heart skipped a beat, and your stomach fluttered nervously. When his eyes met yours he gave a small smile. 

You smiled back, hoping your voice wouldn’t betray your nerves. "Heading up?" He nodded, and you stepped into the elevator. The space suddenly felt much smaller. His presence, his warmth, and that cologne mingling with the faint buzz from the wine, made your pulse quicken. "I didn't even know there was a floor below us" you chuckled, trying to ease your nerves. “Well, obviously, there are several negative buttons here," you pointed to the panel awkwardly. “Funny… I never noticed it before.”

"Just a few parking levels," he said in his smooth Birmingham accent, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. "How are you? You seem happy."

"Well, I am," you smiled, butterflies dancing in your stomach. "And also in urgent need of a shower. But I'm good." You leaned against the elevator wall, the weight of your shift and your growing desire for him pressing down on you.

"Had a good night, eh?" he asked, glancing briefly at the notification on his phone.

"Yeah, trying to enjoy myself before next week," you said, "I have 36 consecutive hours on call."

"That's a lot of hours," he said, his eyes flicking back to the screen as new notifications appeared.

"Yeah, but I'm used to it," you smiled. "Is everything ok?” you wondered what was all the fuzz on his phone. 

“Yeah, just having a kitchen mess today” he put his phone back on his back pocket 

“I overheard someone mentiion that it’s closed. A result of some sort of an intern’s lack of care?” you said and watched confused as he frowned 

“Sure. That's what happened” he let out almost as a whisper "you should know that things will start to calm down," he replied, and your smile grew wider. His words gave you a glimmer of hope.

"Good to hear that! What happened?" you asked almost as an impulse.

“I'm not sure you want me answering that Y/n…” he chuckled as he got a cigarette out of his pockets. Will he light it in here? you wondered, but he simply put it to rest between his lips.

“Right…”  You hesitated, your heart pounding, desperate to talk about something else, too afraid to let that subject be the center of your conversation once again. “So, uh, do you have any plans for tonight?” The question slipped out before you could stop yourself, and you immediately regretted it.

Thomas looked at you with a raised eyebrow, a faint smile playing on his lips. His gaze was penetrating, almost as if he could read your thoughts. "Plans?" he echoed, his tone light but curious.

You quickly clarified, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. "Oh, I didn't mean it like that! I was just wondering what you're up to this late at night." You fidgeted with the strap of your bag, trying to appear nonchalant. Begging for the elevator to stop making random stops at almost every floor and finally get to yours, now hating the fact that he gave you one of the top rooms. 

Thomas smiled faintly at your question, his eyes studying you for a moment longer than usual. "Polly is traveling, so I'm checking on things for her and the kitching needs some cleaning up. I'm heading to her room to get the master key"

You nod, trying to hide your slight disappointment at his answer. "Oh, that sounds nice of you," you reply, mentally chiding yourself for asking in the first place. It wasn't like you were inviting him or expecting him to join you, right?. The elevator dinged softly as it reached your floor. “Well, I won't keep you. Have a good night, Thomas."

"You too," he said, his eyes holding yours for a moment longer before you turned and walked down the hallway.

The elevator doors slid shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

Why did you ask that? You mentally scolded yourself again as you walked down the hall to your room as you replayed the encounter in your mind. 

Thomas's presence had a way of unnerving you, yet you couldn't deny the flutter of excitement his proximity brought. As you walked you were already mentally planning your night: a hot shower, maybe some Netflix, and straight to bed. That's all you need right now.

As you settled into your room, the encounter with Thomas replayed in your mind again, like a vivid movie scene. His smile was etched into your memory, and the way he looked at you sparked a warmth deep within. 

Your phone buzzed with a notification, breaking your train of thought. It was a message from Jeremy, asking if you got home okay. You quickly replied, assuring him you were fine and thanking him for the fun evening.

Setting your phone aside, you found yourself unable to shake the lingering thoughts of Thomas. The way his presence seemed to fill the elevator, the scent of his cologne that still lingered in your mind - it all stirred something unfamiliar yet exhilarating.

Suddenly your mind started to play games with you as it imagined his hands on your skin as he kissed you desperately on the elevator. His lips gently caressing your cheek, making his way to the warmth between your legs…His body pressing yours against the cold elevator wall.. fuck! 

You sat on the edge of your bed, a sudden heat spreading through you. You needed a cold shower to cool down and clear your head.

After a refreshing shower that did little to dampen the heat of your thoughts, you settled into the living room, deciding to distract yourself with a Netflix series. The soft glow of the screen and the familiar characters helped ease your mind, at least temporarily. Ozzy nestled at your feet enjoying your presence but trying not to show it, as all cats do. 

The characters on the screen moved and spoke, but your mind kept drifting back to Thomas.The more you thought about him, the harder it was to focus on the TV.

Your mind replayed all the moments you had shared, trying to convince your horny mind that it would be a bad bad idea. But you couldn't deny the pull you felt towards him, a magnetic attraction that left you both excited and unnerved.

You sighed and shifted on the couch, trying to shake off the thoughts. But they kept coming, flooding.Remembering the first time you kissed, how you just felt like ripping his clothes apart.

And just like that, loneliness settled over you like a heavy blanket. The silence was too loud, and the emptiness too vast. You looked around, seeking something to occupy your time, but nothing seemed appealing. The wine you had with Jeremy and Alan had left you with a pleasant buzz, a feeling of warmth and courage that now pushed you towards a decision.

Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the loneliness, but suddenly, you found yourself standing up, driven by an impulse you couldn't quite explain. The thought of Thomas dealing with the kitchen mess alone nagged at you. You had nothing better to do, and the idea of being around him again was too tempting to resist.

Without giving yourself time to second-guess, you  grabbed the bottle of whisky you opened a few nights ago and headed to the door. The walk to the elevator felt surreal, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nervousness. You pressed the button and waited.

As the elevator doors opened, you took a deep breath and stepped inside. The ride down felt both too quick and agonizingly slow, your thoughts a whirlwind of anticipation. You almost gave up the idea and went back to your room a few times. When the doors opened to the lobby, you made your way towards the kitchen, each step filled with a strange sense of purpose.

You knew it was a bit crazy, but the wine had given you the courage to step out of your comfort zone and yes you needed to fuck, and why the fuck not him? 

You reached the kitchen door and paused, taking a moment to steady your breathing and gather the courage to push open the door. 

taglist:

@deanlovescassie @hellstears @randomfanfics02 @literishdegree99 @watersquirtpewpewboomm @hellstears @rito4ka @alexxavicry @atomicsoulcollecto @Violet_19999 @lyarr24 @woofgocows @milkshakelol @knowledgefulbutterfly @watercolorskyy @redhead7799 @star017 @stuckinmylittlebubble @bat-luna-cat @babaohhhriley @scullys—alienpussy @kassieesworld @deepangelstudentsworld @batgurl42 @starlitjellyfish @velenzia @lyarr24 @Sweetiecake180 @musicsweetie21 @lostgirl219 @slaypussypop-21 @nyenye @izzwizz774 @ooldcardigan @kielsegur @nikkialex @1nterstellarcha0s @mariamx1 @swingingmusicalfunnydragon @illuminwtesz @lazyylover

[crimsonicarus]

GR RPF FIC REC MASTERLIST!!

Long post!

Big shoutout to @arsenalgbt for suggesting i made a list, here are my fave GR fics, im a multishipper so it will be a couple or ships here, anyway, enjoy!

I wanted to also thank all the authors here listed for their awesome contributions to this lovely fandom, im really grateful for all your work <3333333

If any of the authors here listed would rather have their work taken down from this list please let me know .

new year's resolution by @wormeo-and-juliette

Pairing: OT3 Fernando Alonso/George Russell/Lance Stroll

Lance gets the text from Fernando well into the afternoon on the first day of the year: I slept with George.

Um. What?

eagle eyed by @prettydangrotten

Pairing: OT3 Alex Albon/George Russell/Logan Sargeant

“He’s watching, you know,” Alex says, voice level and conversational, like Logan being in the room is a normal part of this experience, “he’s hard.”

i’m your number one (it’s so obvious) by @63historian

Pairing: OT3 Lewis Hamilton/George Russell/Max Verstappen

“Tell him what you want, Georgie.”

He clenches his hole just as he starts begging, “I need you to come inside me, please, Max, please, I want it so bad.”

And who is Max not to obey such beautiful cries?

positive negatives by @ctimenefic

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

George doesn’t regret that shoot, exactly.

He had for a long time. After the first high of seeing the rushes wore off; after overhearing a murmured warning in general casting, days too late; after he woke up at three am to reread the release he’d blithely signed without thinking, and spent the next four hours staring at the ceiling hoping to wake up. He’d regretted it then.

For years after, the memory of it could hit like an ice cube sliding down his spine. Always, of course, at the most inconvenient moments. When he was working, or networking, when he needed his wits about him, couldn’t afford to stutter over his words. They’d put him in white silk, or offer him wine, or he’d walk into a room with slow, warm jazz playing, and the whole excruciating mess of it all would come back. He’d learnt how to smile through it, then how not to blink at all.

June is the coldest month of the year by @beabnormal24

Pairing: Max Verstappen/ George Russell

“Just don’t be a stranger, yeah?” It doesn’t sound as empty as George would’ve expected.

Max disappears in Monaco’s breeze with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket and his head turned to the side to look at the coast following him, or it’s him who follows the coast. It’s not that simple to guess when George feels the way he does about him.

He stares at the broad expanse of his back until he’s nothing more than a distant figure just like any other person around and he can pretend that he’s no one in the middle of the world.

The blessing of anonymity, he muses, gripping at the hems of his sleeves.

All of a sudden, his chest feels quiet.

nobody else by ginnydear

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

The Mercedes garage is almost overwhelmingly busy when Alex walks through the crowds of officials there.

or... what if the world was suddenly plunged into omegaverse and everyone started presenting at once... pt two.

 table in the back by @janinaduszejko

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

“Okay, here’s the offer." Alex says. "I’m going to make you something and if you don’t like it, you don’t pay. How does that sound?”

“So I get a good meal or a free meal?” George asks. “Sounds like a no-lose scenario.”

“Keen eye, George,” Alex grins. “Figured out my terrible business sense on the first try. Alright, take it or leave it.”

 all green lights

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

Sorry mate I think you've got the wrong number

chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin' out over the line

Pairing: OT3 George Russell/Lance Stroll/Fernando Alonso

Lance and Fernando have been together for over two years and it is great. It is great apart from one minor detail. They are both dominant tops and the irritation is starting to grind them down. Enter Lance's ex-whatever, George Russell.

But George is not going to be as easy to get on board as Lance and Fernando think. He will give his whole heart but you have to open it up first.

DISCLAIMER: THE FIC IS NOW ON PERMANENT HIATUS

Very common crisis (series) by crimandclove

Pairing: George Russell/ Lance Stroll

January 2024 - George finds himself single, stressed, with a set of tits & one Lance Stroll in his home.

Calls and Cats by @raewritesf1

Pairing: George Russell/Max Verstappen

Things go awry when George’s video call with the quartet is interrupted by the form of a familiar half-naked Dutch driver wielding a Bengal cat in the background.

spread before you like a picnic by @janinaduszejko

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

Now, weeks later, he thinks that was probably the reason he’d said it, why when he came back to himself and noticed that Alex had manhandled him on his stomach and was in the process of peeling George’s jeans down, his first instinct was to say, panicky: “You can’t fuck me.”

it's not about having someone to love me anymore by linearity

Pairings: Alexander Albon/George Russell, George Russell/Toto wolff

George is an omega. He kind of hates himself for it.

Brake Balance by @russilton

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

"Why don’t you come dance?” With me goes unspoken, and George is eyeing him with a familiar look, like he’s sure Lewis will brush him off again, but he still wants to try.

Maybe it’s the buzz of alcohol. Maybe it’s the shiny skin of a tanned collarbone showing through George’s three open shirt buttons. Maybe it’s just the adrenaline of the whole day in general, but for once, Lewis thinks that sounds like a pretty good idea.

Stop overthinking, just go with it.

Bono’s words echo pointedly around his mind. Fuck it

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by @prettydangrotten

Pairing: Alex Albon/George Russell

They’d agreed on friends when Alex had come to collect the last of his things from George’s flat. George had been adamant about it, all uncomplicated smiles, like they hadn’t just spent six months living in each other’s pockets and having some of the most bizarrely intimate sex of Alex’s life.

And friends is a noble intention, but. Alex still only has one friend who’s sucked him off in their driver’s room.

Allow yourself this happiness by Sonnenscheintraum

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

i can barely breathe (when you're here loving me)

When Lewis wakes up he knows he's going into rut. He will be able to get through the rainy and cold race in Spa if he takes enough suppressants.

But what if George by his side is actually making it worse for him to keep the rut in check?

How is he supposed to keep himself under control when George looks and smells like the most delicious way and makes him want to claim him?

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

Lewis Hamilton may be the sweetest person who ever stepped on earth and choose not to see the truth, but he deserves so much more than a broken, thirteen years younger college student.

So George does what is best for him.

 See my Vision (tell ‘em) by @russilton

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

“Feeling a little desperate, sweetheart?” It’s clearly rhetorical, but George nods anyway, and bites his lip at the conflicted emotions he sees cross Lewis’ face.

He knows it’s late, closer to Monday morning than Sunday night, but it’s been so long since they’ve had freedom to do whatever they want. He loves racing with his entirety, he even loves the intensive training and strict schedules, but he doesn’t love how the need to keep his body in perfect function for a race keeps him from Lewis.

George and Lewis have three weeks break between Monza and Singapore, and they just can’t wait anymore.

[sleepingdayaway]

AAAAAAAH I LOVE YOUR WRITING !!! i saw your requests were open so im wondering if you could do Legend or warriors (whichever you prefer!) with a reader who's extremely afraid of butterflies like they see one and are already halfway across the forest! like immediate sprinting away

AHHH! TY FOR YOUR TIME :D

KAHSKSHSIW THIS IS SO ME. I TOO FREAK OUT WHEN A BUTTERFLY COMES NEAR ME-

ALSO IM SO SORRY THAT I TOOK SO LONG??? IM SO TERRIBLE MY BAD I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU REBLOGGING MY STUFF <3333

Legend:

The crunching of leaves can be heard all around as the mindless chatter among the group can be heard in the room.

The Chain has allowed themselves to rest after Wild introduced them to the Great Deku Tree. Old man nature welcomed the various heroes and their companion to rest. He is slightly found of the young adult who interacts kindly to the children of the forest.

Speaking of the Koroks, they are currently giggling and flying about as they played with [Name]. They seemed to be playing a simpler version of hide-n-seek. The koroks are giggling behind their hands as they tried to quiet their laughter. [Name] pretends for a moment that they are unable to find, and loudly calls for their name.

Watching them for a moment as he smiles in content before focusing his attention on his inventory. [Name]'s laughter is heard and the following giggling and shrieking of the Koroks being found. Quickly rushing away, desperately trying not to be caught do the koroks move. [Name] laughing loudly; not moving from their spot since they found it too amusing.

The Hero moves his attention towards his pouch, making sure that none of his items are misplaced. Knowing that the young koroks are curious and mean no harm, he's content for the time being. Enjoying the moment of being able to relax and not being hunted down by malice blooded monsters.

A loud shriek is heard as Legend's ears twitch at the sound. A sound that came from the person who he thought was safe. He saw them play with the koroks just a second ago. Without hesitation he stands up from his place and moves his body to the sound.

"[Name]!?"

The sight that greets Legend is comical. [Name] pushing themselves against a tree as they stare at the little creature on a koroks hand. it's giggling as it brings it closer them as they let out a small sound of fear. Legend walks over to see what made them scream, and taking a closer look at the creature is a small butterfly.

The butterfly calmly stands on the hand, and gently flaps it's wings in a calm motion. It's antennae would twitch here and there but it wasn't really moving.

This confuses Legend as he gently grabs [Name] and pulls them away from the tree. But they refuse to move from the spot as they make dead eye contact with the butterfly. "Are you alright? Do you want to move from this place?" He asked but [Name] just shook their head and refused to move an inch. Slowly moving his focus back onto the butterfly as he thought he saw movement. The korok inched closer to them which caused the butterfly to twitch and fly forward.

It was like a chain reaction when that happened.

The korok moves, then the butterfly moves forward. Which then causes [Name] to scream once more and quickly back away, but Legend was still holding onto them. It made the both of them fall onto the ground; both keeping an eye onto the butterfly. Legend blinks before shaking his lover, "Did you seriously react that negatively to a tiny fucking butterfly!?!"

"They just as bad as spiders, Legend!" They shouted back at him with a slight voice crack as the butterfly flies away from them. A harsh sigh escapes from his lips. As he rolled his eyes before grabbing them and dragging them away. The little korok giggling in the background/

___________________________________________________________

Warriors:

Warriors looks down at the map that Twilight lent him. It's a miniature copy of the outside of Twilight's castle town; he asked Warriors for a favor and gave him the map to help him. It was to search for a certain bug that has a unique color that should be easy to spot because of it. Wars had no problem with it, so he agreed to go and look for it.

[Name] found out about his little exploration and decided that they wanted to go with him to keep him company. Warriors didn't mind and readily agreed; silently cheering since he wanted a bit of alone time with them.

Both of them rode together with rented horses from castle town as they neared an area on where the bug was supposed to be. Wars looked up from the map when they heard [Name] shuffled from behind; they gently got off and patted their horse to soothe them. They smiled up at him before speaking, "Just wanted to stretch my legs for a bit since I noticed us slowing down."

Wars returned their smile before sliding off himself, "No worries, we're already in the area on where it should be." [Name] nodded before walking around for a bit and resting underneath a tree. Beside the tree is a cliff that has a group of of flowers near the edge.

Warrior's steps forward and begins searching at the tree and the surrounding area. He remembers Twilight saying that this was an easy way to obtain money since the person who collects these bugs offer a huge sum or rupees. That caught his attention, someone who paid a a lot just for some bugs? Count him in.

[Name] joined in because they wanted to spend time with Wars. Plus have an in depth look at Twilight's Hyrule. They remember the land being big and having space as well as beautiful from their screen. And they were right, the graphics on the game didn't do the actual place justice. Just even exploring castle town itself was a shock! The game showed an always moving place, but actually experiencing it was different.

A small sound of jingle can be heard from which caught the attention of the two them. Wars noticing it because it was something that was told to him that he was near the bug, but [Name] slightly tensed up because they finally realized what that noise meant.

Warriors looked up at the cliff, squinting a bit he noticed that faint sparkle of color. It moved in between the flowers that are near the edge before it showed itself fully and slowly flew down gently near them. He perked up and stayed stilled but kept his focus on it; he wasn't going to scare it away and lose rupees.

Meanwhile [Name] eyed the butterfly as it came closer to them. Fuck, they should've told Warriors before hand. With zero hesitation they crawled away from Wars and the butterfly, and with a safe distance away from them did they sprinted away.

Wars to preoccupied on staying still so he wouldn't startle the golden bug. Before quickly snatching it once it was in reach for him. Grinning widely he turned towards [Name] to show them, but didn't see them near the tree.

Spinning around before he caught a glimpse of their [color] tunic a good feet away from him. "Oh wow! Did you catch it? Cool! Don't come near me with it in your hands" They exclaimed as they eyed his hands with slight fear. Wars staring for a moment before it clicked in his head, "Are you afraid of butterfly, [Name]?"

"Pfft- Whaat! No way I'm just- NO WARS STAY AWAY FROM ME"

[kitsuvil]

— confines [picturesque/ayato smau]

[ masterlist ] — last chapter of the first arc ! this has a written part

I rubbed at the crust in my eyes, knowing that there was no plausible way for me to actually fall asleep again. Being in such close proximity with Ayato made my heartbeat spike, despite having told myself multiple times that it's a normal reaction and doesn't really mean anything. What could it possibly mean, anyway?

It's nothing new to feel excited or have adrenaline when you're with someone you appreciate. Of course, I never felt this way with any of my friends, but perhaps it was just a new platonic feeling. Right. Just platonic.

My gaze fell on his sleeping face, quiet and at peace. Until he slowly opened his eyes and stared at me, disoriented confusion glazed over his squinting eyes. "[Name]?" He looked around. "What time is it?" Ayato yawned like a tired cat.

"It's still morning. I'm sorry for accidentally staying the night, on your couch with you no less," the last part came out in a whisper. "As long as you had a pleasant sleep." Ayato's morning voice had an alluring rasp to it, some of his words slurring together.

"The sleep was fine, but after waking up... I can't say the same," I laughed in pity of my churning stomach. I did this to myself, so I couldn't whine and complain, but the more I sat around, the worse it felt. Silly hot pot challenge.

"I would question it, but I think I already know why."

"This is your fault for making me add the weirdest ingredients into the hotpot. And Thoma still won against me."

"You two share the competitive spirit," Ayato laughed as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and attempted to get up. "Do you need me to take you home?"

He stretched his limbs out from the stiff position he was sleeping in, and I couldn't help but admire his look in the mornings. Only he would look so charming after a night of sleeping on the couch.

"I would say yeah... But this couch is so comfortable. What if I stay here."

"You're welcome to, I won't stop you," Ayato's eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"If I go home, it means I have to return to the daily routine of doing more and more classwork. Tomorrow is Monday, and immediately, I'm back to the same schedule," I sighed. "On top of that, my stomach is gluing me to this couch..." I trailed off awkwardly as my stomach grumbled.

"Aren't you enjoying your time in university? Majoring in photography and all, doing what you love?"

Ayato sat back down on the couch beside me. I wasn't going to elaborate any further, but with how willing he was to listen and the distraction to my stomach pain, I found myself bringing more thoughts to the open world.

"Of course. But what else do I face other than assigned work and unwilling projects?"

I continued, not wasting a chance to get my words out. "I feel privileged to be studying my dream already, but the more I struggle to keep up, the more it feels like a chore."

There was no way Ayato would have felt this. Being forced to sit through courses when all you really want is to be out there. He's the one who had the ability for a sudden trip overseas and was able to experience so much. Not to mention, he willingly began to attend. He's skilled, but it was already laid out for him.

And it makes me feel like I'm falling behind.

I didn't want to look at him negatively, I knew how hard he worked, so perhaps the problem was with me. University made me feel like a cooped up farm animal.

"[Name], if you feel this way, why wouldn't you speak about it earlier on? Not in a pressuring way, but you shouldn't have to bottle up frustrations like this. Part of the reason why I'm so successful is because I learned to speak for myself early on."

The fatigue of the situation was almost completely gone as adrenaline took over, part of me anxious that I was whining about my personal thoughts to Ayato like this. "It's for the exact reason I mentioned earlier. It's already such a special thing to attend Teyvat Uni for photography, which is why I shouldn't be expecting more."

"Do you know why I began to attend in the first place?"

"Because you wanted to fool around and get a taste of this life?" I laughed, slightly sarcastic.

"Not at all. [Name], I signed up for this university to meet people, great people like you who have so much potential. There are many students who visibly dull their own shine by putting themselves up against people who do things differently. Do not contain yourself to a single box when the world is out there waiting for you."

"But the world is like a galaxy away when I'm confined to projects and such."

"It doesn't have to be. Just because you set yourself to this standard does not mean you belong in it. Humanity is unique. Perhaps this confined life just isn't meant for you."

I pursed my lips, pondering over his advice. A leap into the world without formal education was like a leap into the abyss.

"How about this, next time I have a place I want to visit, we'll travel together. We can come up with ideas for your future. Two brains are better than just one, right?"

I had to laugh at his poor attempt to drag me into his strange and successful life. However,

"Fine. But if it doesn't work, I'm going back to drowning in assignments."

I fell into that sirenlike attempt.

"Thank you for hearing me out... For now, I think you need something to help with that stomach bug. How does some soup sound?" Ayato stood back up.

"Soup? I'm not sure if my stomach can take any more weird things. Is this your girl math at trying to cancel one with the other?"

I felt warm from his words. It's like a few photos had finally printed out, and there was a new stack of film sitting in my heart.

"No! I promise, it's the soup Thoma makes for us when we're unwell... I just don't know how well it'll turn out. I never do this kind of thing. There's a reason Thoma is like a mother to us... but I can try."

"Then, I'm sure even your suspicious attempt will work to improve my health. Thank you. For trying to not only make me feel better physically, but for being here to listen to my strange sick ramblings."

— hehe this chapter has much cuties much fluff much comfort!! unfortunately couldnt translate that in just photos aaaa </3 taking a few days from writing as a break until act 2 starts teehee

— taglist; @griseoo @fangygf @boxxd @driftwoodmanor @meigalaxy @kyon-cherri @xiaossocksniffer @quacking-simp @kaitfae @imgayandshesanime @lxry-chxn @ni-ki-ismyluv @cante-lope @kookiibun @kamisatoyato

[alastorswifee]

❥Summary: reader is afraid of thunderstorms and the dark. Lloyd being the good boyfriend he is, comforts you.

Lloyd slowly opened his tired eyes as he felt shifting and movement from the other side of the bed, slowly turning over and squinting as he adjusted his eyesight to the darkness.

His eyes suddenly landed on his lover slightly shifting every few seconds which resulted in him raising an eyebrow in confusion.

His confusion didn’t last long as his questions were answered by a simple sound, the rolling of thunder coming from outside the window. As his gaze flashed between the window and his lover, he noticed the negative reaction that emitted from them.

He couldn’t help but frown at the sight of discomfort and fear visibly plastered on their face, without a second thought he quickly yet gently reached an arm out and hooked it around their waist. This must’ve startled them cause Lloyd felt their body tense up as he slowly pulled them towards his own body.

“Hey hey it’s me..don’t worry..” he mumbles softly but loud enough to be above the sound of the pouring rain. He looked down at them with soft and loving eyes, them immediately turning their body to face his and snuggling up against him. “What’s the matter hm?” He questioned as his hand slowly rubbed gentle circles along their back, it was silent for a few seconds until they spoke up “thunder, I’m not the biggest fan and it’s really dark..”

Lloyd simply let out a quiet hum “I understand, I’m here, the thunder isn’t gonna hurt you..” he reassured as he carefully rested his chin on top their head. “How long were you awake?” He spoke up, asking yet another question. “For about..thirty minutes now?” Lloyd tilted his head down and pressed a gentle kiss to their forehead “I’m sorry I didn’t wake up earlier love..”

They slightly shook their head “no no it’s alri-“ their sentence got cut off by a sudden flash of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder. This resulted in them jumping in fear and burying their face into the blonde boy’s neck. He carefully held them close and kept whispering soft and sweet nothings to them.

“It’s alright..I’m here”

“There’s no one here but us”

“I’ll always be here to protect you my love”

“I won’t let the thunder hurt you..”

“I love you so much..”

“I got you..”

“I won’t let anything happen to you..”

After a few minutes he stopped speaking and exchanged that with emitting soft and relaxing humming. His fingers either gently running through their hair or lightly running along the skin on their back.

It didn’t take too long until he felt his lover’s body relax followed by much softer breathing hitting his neck compared to the frantic and heavy ones from earlier.

Smiling to himself, Lloyd slowly closed his eyes and relaxed his body as well, drifting off into a deep slumber once more.

❥ tags: @kitomon @pixanefan @strahmslayer @lolitalatteart @crackedpumpkin @rqsamy

[quinloki]

Ace/Izou/Marco/Thatch - Semi-Sweet

Requestor: Anonymous Reader Vibes Requested: AFAB she/her CW: references to drowning, time in a coma, maybe more sweet than semi, based it a little off of the kinktober series

Eyes alight with flames, a hand wreathed in fire, a voice booming and desperate - the last things you had seen before your body had hit the ocean waves.

“The rough storm had ripped you off the deck of the Moby, you don’t have a devil fruit, but the ship was massive, and you aren’t. Even with your haki protecting you, you hit the water so hard it had knocked you unconscious.

“Even with the storm raging, members of the crew had dove off the ship to find you. I got held back, but someone like me diving into the water wouldn’t have helped.

“You were in the water… a long time. Thatch couldn’t find a pulse when he surfaced with you, couldn’t get you to breathe. Pops had used his own devil fruit to banish the storm, and the entire crew had turned toward you. Izou had performed CPR until you hacked up half the ocean and started breathing on your own. He cracked three ribs in the process, and no one knew how hurt you were before that.

“Marco didn’t sleep for almost three days. Even with Me an’ Thatch an’ Izou helping him, he couldn’t barely find fitful naps, let alone any useful sleep. He kept abusing his devil fruit to keep himself sharp, until Pops’ laid him out and forced him to rest yesterday.”

A cheerful young man sat beside your bed, clumsily peeling apples for you. When you’d asked him what happened he hadn’t held back. He didn’t look or feel threatening, and the warmth that radiated from him was comfortable.

“Thatch and Izou got some sleep once you were stable, and it was my turn to watch over you, so here we are.” He hands over the plate of apple slices, and you happily begin to nibble on one. You’re pretty sure you shouldn’t eat after four days of being in a coma, but you’re too hungry to let good sense stop you.

“How do you feel?”

“… Sore,” you answer softly, taking another small bite. “Hungry.” Your brow furrows, and you set the apple slice you were working on down. “Confused.”

“Confused about?” He questions, tilting his head.

You are quiet for a long moment, but he gives you plenty of time to sort your thoughts before you reply.

“I don’t… know any of those names.” You admit, frustration on your face. You’re not looking at him, but you can see his body jerk. “I don’t…” Your voice shifts from frustration and becomes small, tears pulling at the corners of your eyes. “Remember you.”

“You - Ah, it’s okay.” He responds. You look up and can tell the smile on his face is strained, but he’s trying to look cheerful. “Marco… um, he’s the ship’s doctor, he said that you might not remember things when you woke up.” He puts a hand to his chest. “I’m Ace, we’re… we’re crew mates, you’re part of the Whitebeard Pirates. You joined before me, so Thatch or Izou or Marco would be able to fill you in better than me.”

“Ace.” You say the name and watch his face twist in an odd emotion. “Thatch pulled me out of the sea, and Izou cracked my ribs.”

“To save you, to save you!” Ace adds quickly. “Izou has amazing control, and Marco was busy getting the sick bay ready in case he needed to do something more complicated to save you.”

“… I caused distress. I’m sorry.” You say it firmly, eyes downcast.

“Bwha- what? No, I mean, yeah, but… er… you don’t hafta apologize for it.” He assures you. “People were worried cause they care.”

“That’s -.”

“Ah, little miss negative is back.” A voice says from the doorway, you and Ace turn and look and Ace nods toward the tall dark-haired man.

“Izou.”

“You helped save me, thank you.” You bow slightly from your position in the bed, wincing against unexpected pain.

“Think nothing of it,” Izou replies, stepping into the room. He moves the apple slices away from you and gently pushes you by your shoulders until you’re laying down again. “If Marco comes in and you’re sitting up and eating, he’ll toss all of us into the sea.”

“I was hungry.”

“She was hungry.”

You and Ace speak up at the same time and Izou gives you a withering look. “Of course she’s hungry, she’s been in a coma for almost four days.” He snaps. “But food on a stomach that empty can come right back up. You don’t have the strength to vomit.

“Ace, go wake up Marco and Thatch. Tell that big oaf to make the best bone stock he can, but you come back with broth from yesterday’s soup. Clear, Ace. Clear broth.” Izou reiterates as the freckled youth takes off.

Izou sits in the chair Ace had been using.

“When you first joined you were like this.” He begins. His voice is full of warmth, like Ace’s, but different. Muted comparatively, but just as comforting. “So was I. Worried about the etiquette of a world that doesn’t matter here. Feeling like a stranger when I was surrounded by a family I never knew I needed.”

He adjusts how he’s sitting a little, the soft shifting of silk almost makes your heart ache. It’s a sound that slips through your body and tightens around your bones. You can’t remember why right now, but the emotion is undeniable.

“You adjusted faster than I did.” He continues on. “Danced right into everyone’s heart so quickly it was almost concerning. Admittedly, you danced more forcefully into some hearts than others, and created a kind of family within the family.”

Silent tears slip down your cheeks and Izou brushes the away with warm and tender fingers.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You’ll remember. I have faith, pretty flower.” He assures you. “If you don’t, then it will be what it will be, and we’ll be happy that you’re still here.”

A soft knock at the door interrupts your thoughts and Izou speaks up for them to enter. A tall man steps inside, button up shirt open and tattoo on his chest visible. He has blonde hair, and there are deep circles under his eyes, but his entire demeanor brightens when he sees you’re awake.

“There she is.” He says warmly. You look from him to Izou and he points back toward him.

“Marco, our resident doctor.” He clarifies.

“Pineapple.” You say, before covering your mouth and turning away. There’s a moment of silence before the two lose their battle against the laughs bubbling up in them and your mortification changes to an odd embarrassment.

“Progress.” Izou says, stepping out of the way as Marco came to your bedside.

“I’ll take it,” Marco says. “Pardon me, I need to check your vitals.” He explains and you look back toward him and nod.

He checks your pulse, your reaction to a light in your eyes, temperature, listens to your heart, and presses and prods and few places asking if anything hurts. He asks you a few questions, and while you can remember your name, you don’t seem to be able to answer any of the other questions.

The soft smile on his face and the even cadence of his voice don’t change regardless of your answers, and there’s comfort in it. The two of them bring in a couple more chairs, and assure you that if you want to be left alone you only need ask, but if you can deal with them, there are at least four crew members who will want to visit with you while you have some broth.

Marco and Izou get you repositioned so you can sit up easily, and they get a tray for the bed. The two seem content to sit quietly with you for the couple moments it takes for Ace to return. There’s another man with him, tallest of the lot, though not by much, with an impressive pompadour hair style.

Both of them have a bowl of steaming broth in their hands.

“One clear,” the new comer says, “One with finely ground ginger.” He explains to Marco. “Ginger usually helps settle stomachs, so I wanted you to have a choice.”

Marco nods. “A couple spoonfuls won’t hurt, yoi. But mostly clear to be safe.” He decides and they shuffle things around a little before setting a bowl in front of you.

“Clear soup to help clear your head.” The big man says as he hands you a spoon.

“Her head’s already clear, Thatch,” Ace snaps at him. “That’s the problem.”

“Maybe it’s foggy instead you little wretch. The soup will help.” Thatch retorts, irritation on his face even as he’s trying to keep his composure.

“It’s hot meat juice, not medicine.” Ace grumbles.

“Broth is-.” Marco starts, but his eyes catch yours and he pauses. The air in the room freezes and you can feel everyone looking at you, but your caught in your own thoughts.

Spoon in your mouth, warm broth down your throat, something about the conversation has tears running down your face. You’re not upset, but you can’t stop the tears. You move, enough to have another spoonful of broth despite your crying. There’s something about the actions and the taste that compel you.

“It was… terrible.” You mutter, spooning another bit of broth into your mouth as a smile pulled at your lips for the first time since you woke. “I… I tried to make broth and it was awful.” You set the spoon down and wipe away persistent tears that continue to fall despite your efforts.

“Thatch was sick, and I wanted to help.” You continue through your quiet tears. Sniffling softly you smile. “I’d never cooked before, and it was just so bad.”

Thatch flinches as the other three look at him. “I insisted otherwise,” he asserts.

You laugh a little, there’s more mirth and energy in it, and the tears are subsiding. “You did. I had some when I got back to the kitchen and poured the rest of it out. It was,” you start laughing despite yourself. “So bad.”

Looking over at the others you can feel your face heating up. “I confessed after that.”

“To making bad broth?” Ace questions, tilting his head. Marco smacks the back of his head.

You shake your head, and Thatch speaks up for you. “She admitted to likin’ me, but also to likin’,” he makes quotes in the air for the next few words. “A couple other people too, and thought it was wrong to like her crew mates like that.”

“Turned out the other people she liked were already in a relationship with Thatch,” Izou teases, cocky grin on his lips as he brushes his hand across your cheek, wiping away an errant tear. “You remember us, sweet flower?”

You nod. “Magic soup.” You say, which is what Thatch had called the abomination you’d fed him all those years ago.

[wh1spyz]

HER WISH, HIS WISH || YANG JEONGIN

pair : childhoodfriend!jeongin x reader

genre : angst

warning : cursing, rejection, no happy ending

you confess your feelings to your best friend jeongin, but does he like you back?

quick a/n : hi everyone! first time posting on here. i used to be a wattpad writer but due to school and stuff i stopped writing. i just want to write for fun every here and there, so i probably wont post here constantly. sorry! anyways, enjoy :)

everyone wanted you to confess.

all of jeongin's friends knew about your crush on him, and it made you curious if he knew aswell. but clearly, he didnt know, and he was more oblivious then ever. you never really wanted to confess, you found the idea terrifying and you knew that if he didn't reciprocate your feelings, your friendship could be ruined. but his friends still urged you to make your feelings known to him (despite being obviously head over heels for him).

so here you were, sitting on the same couch in his apartment, watching him study. you had told yourself several times before you came over that you would tell him your feelings, despite being scared out of your damn mind. you watched him as he studied, and he looked handsome as always. you couldn't help but blurt out "i like you", like the dumbass you were before covering your mouth.

his gazed turn to you, a bit stunned by your sudden confession, and extremely confused aswell.

"what did you say y/n?"

you didnt know if you wanted to gaslight your crush into thinking you said nothing, run out of there as fast as possible, or genuinely admit the truth (the other 2 options sounded better to you, honestly). but you took a deep breath and decided to confess properly.

"i like you, jeongin. i've liked you for a long time. you've always put a smile on my face and make me feel happy, and i don't know what i would do without you. i've spent hours just thinking about... you, and only you. i really like you, alot."

the room was tense after your confession, a deafening silence that was killing you on the inside. before you heard the words you were dreading to hear. the words that shattered you into pieces when you heard them.

"y/n. i don't feel the same."

the words echoed in your head, the whole situation felt like a nightmare, a horrible one. it was like your whole world came crashing down. you were completely frozen, biting your bottom lip as you supressed the tears that threatened to seep through your eyes and stream down your face. your throat closed up and it seemed like you could curl up into a ball and die right then and there. you nodded slowly, standing up as you were getting ready to leave.

"i understand." you mumbled, grabbing your bag as you turned away from him, walking out of the dorm. you didn't want him to see you cry. he couldn't see you cry. atleast not because of him.

jeongin’s expression became more sad as he processed your reaction. he was unsure to comfort you, since he was the cause of your pain. so he just sat there, silent as you exited. and hearing the door shut just made his heart ache more. he didn’t expect your reaction. but he couldn’t bring himself to go outside. it was as if he couldn’t move. his thoughts racing. he was so conflicted and lost in them.

'why can’t i like her back…?', 'i don’t want her to be sad..', 'why do i feel so guilty?'. that was all that was going through his head as he sat on the couch, frozen.

a moment of silence passed. but the quiet atmosphere was shattered with the sound of jeongin shutting his laptop. he abruptly stood up.

“fuck.”

you were taking a cab back to your apartment, tears rolling down your cheeks as you sniffled silently. "you're an fucking idiot" is all that went through your head. why did you even confess? you ruined everything. that was for sure. your thoughts just kept getting more and more negative until you suddenly got a call from jeongin. knowing that he wanted to probably ask where you were, you were hesitant on picking up. but your heart was stronger than your head, so you picked up.

"y/n! fucking christ.. where are you?" you heard him the other side of the phone, sounding like he was grabbing his keys and his coat to go outside.

"jeongin, i'll be fine. i just need some time alone. if you come and try to make things right, it might turn out worse. please."

you were basically pleading with him, your voice was shaky and tired, trying to rub your tears away.

hearing your voice over the phone, it only made him feel even worse. his heart clenched and a wave of guilt washed over him once more, running his fingers through his hair.

“i-i know i said i didn’t feel the same but… i can’t leave you like this..” he spoke quietly, hesitating. "just tell me where you are.. please?"

you sigh, knowing that arguing with him wouldn't help much.

"in a cab, headed to my apartment."

jeongin listened to the sound of you sighing and he slightly relaxed at the fact that you told him where you were headed.

“okay..” he mumbled, biting his nail. he spoke again in a softer tone of voice. “i’m coming.”

you wince, having a small feeling that this was going to happen.

"please jeongin, can we just talk tomorrow..?"

he let out a shaky exhale. he didn’t want to upset you further, but he was also extremely stubborn.

“please.. i just want to make sure that you’re okay..” he pleaded once more, he truly cared about your well-being.

you groaned.

"goodness... okay, but youre not staying for long, 'kay?"

he smiled to himself, a sense of relief washing over him. it didn’t matter if he was only staying for a few minutes, at least he could see you.

“yeah.. i won’t stay long.”

he reassured you, grabbing his coat, keys and phone, before leaving the apartment.

"see you." he says before hanging up the phone and catching a cab himself to head to your house.

you watched him hang up the phone, running a hand through your hair, groaning. you looked out the window, seeing that you were basically at your apartment now, so you paid the driver as he parked and got out, heading inside to your apartment.

you changed into comfortable clothes as you waited for jeongin to arrive to your apartment, still somewhat crying and your tears stain the baggy white shirt you wore. you sat on the couch, running your fingers through your hair. you suddenly remembered a small conversation the two of you had as little kids.

"what would you do if a genie could grant you three wishes?" you asked jeongin with a toothy smile, sitting on the swings with him on a cold winter day, which was rare in busan.

"genies dont exist..."

"oh shut up! what if they did?"

"i would wish..." jeongin thought about the question for a moment before answering. "to be rich! super duper rich!"

you rolled your eyes with a frown, kicking the snow infront of you.

"thats so boring!!"

"oh yeah? then what would you wish for?"

you paused for a moment, smiling at him again when you had your wish.

"i would wish to be your friend forever! i want to be your friend for as long as possible!"

he laughed and threw a snowball at you. "thats so stupid."

you gasp as he threw the snowball at you, pouting.

"so you dont want to be my friend?? wow.. how mean can you get.."

"i didnt mean it like that! goodness.."

you glared at him, still pouting.

"then what did you mean?"

he smiled at you, sweetly.

"we are gonna be friends no matter what, always and forever. you wouldn't need a wish."

you smiled back at him.

"promise?"

"promise."

you got snapped out of your trance as you heard a knock on the door, rushing to it. after a few seconds, you opened the door to meet jeongin's eyes. you looked tired, and it was definitely obvious you were previously crying from your tear stained shirt.

"come in." you mumbled.

when the door opened and you revealed yourself, his heart ached. your red puffy eyes and tear-stained top were the first things that he noticed. he looked at you with a mix of guilt and sadness.

he slowly walked in, taking off his shoes and coat, setting them aside. without a word, he walked closer to you. jeongin hesitated before pulling you into a tight embrace. his mind was a mess but one thing he knew for sure, he was happy to be close to you right now.

you were extremely tense due to the hug, and you werent sure if this was right. he didnt like you, why was he hugging you, comforting you? you didnt know. so many thoughts were racing through your mind and you couldnt relax.

you wish things were different.

jeongin could feel the tension in your body as he held you. he pulled you closer, gently rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you.

he closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against your head. he wanted to stay like this for a while. he needed to be close to you. but at the same time, he felt conflicted. like he shouldn’t be doing this since he didn’t feel the same.

he wishes things couldve stayed the same.

after a while, he finally spoke. his voice was soft and gentle. he was still torn but he had to say something.

“i’m.. sorry.. i’m really sorry..” he mumbled, his voice coming out a bit shaky.

"its not your fault that you don't reciprocate my feelings. i shouldn't have confessed in the first place. i should be the one apologizing." you said with a sigh.

jeongin’s heart ached, as you spoke those words. he tightened his embrace around you, not letting go.

“no.. don’t apologize.. please..”

he was trying to hold back the tears, his eyes burning. there was too much going through his mind right now.

he held you tighter against his chest, his hand resting on the back of your head. he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. guilt and sadness filling him.

“you.. you don’t know how much i wish i could like you..” he muttered.

"you cant force yourself to like me to make me happy."

you mumble, rubbing his back reassuringly. as much as you wished he liked you back, you wanted him to be honest more than anything.

he buried his head in the crook of your neck. you were being the reasonable one right now. he was so confused and conflicted about his feelings. why couldn’t he like you? why did it hurt him when he had to reject you?

“then.. why does it hurt me..?” he mumbled, his voice was shaky.

you sigh.

"because we're friends. if i was the reason a friend of mine is crying, it would hurt me aswell, not just them."

you mutter, trying to reason with him and calm him down.

"you didnt mean to hurt me, and it wouldve hurt more if you lied to me. so its better that you told the truth to me."

jeongin closed his eyes, listening to your words. he knew you were right but he couldn’t help but feel guilty and conflicted. he hummed in agreement, holding you tighter. he didn’t know what to do with the whirlwind of emotions inside him. he mumbled once more.

“i don’t want to lose you..”

you wrap your arms around him, hugging him back finally.

"youre not going to lose me anytime soon."

jeongin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. your presence was comforting and he was grateful for your reassurance. he muttered, keeping his head tucked in your shoulder.

“promise?”

you nodded, hugging him tight.

"promise."

he closed his eyes once again, breathing in your scent. for some reason, he didn’t want to let go. he was supposed to leave after minutes but he wanted to stay for longer. to be near you longer. he gently rested his forehead against your shoulder, feeling your warmth and closeness. the warmth felt so wrong, but so right. after a moment of silence, he spoke, his voice barely above a soft whisper.

“stay like this with me for a few more minutes.. please?”

you sigh, a little hesitant to stay like this longer, knowing your feelings for him still lingered, and this seemed wrong. he knew it just as much as you did. but you hummed in agreement anyways, not pulling away.

jeongin smiled against your shoulder, hearing you agree to let him stay a bit longer. he knew you were probably hesitating due to your feelings for him, but he didn’t want to let go. he needed this, he needed you right now. his grip on your waist tightened slightly, his body pressing against yours. it was as if he wanted to stay like this forever, not caring about the time.

he mumbled as he held you, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him.

“i wish i could like you..”

you sighed again, feeling guilty for liking him.

"its okay."

you mumbled, knowing that you wished the same thing aswell.

your feelings continued to linger for months, a year or two, but he still didn't like you back.

he only realized his feelings for you were clearer than the blue, summer skies when you were gone. when you moved away from busan to start a new life.

the promise was broken.

and sure, the wishes came true. but just like his feelings, they came true much too late.

"she was my wish, the only wish i couldn't make come true."

[forgettingcrowbin]

gib lore? 🥺👉👈

I didn’t know so much of you would be interested 🥺🥺❤️❤️

@cakesmelons @delirious-acer @kashimea and Tuxia ofc, here’s some answers and lore haha sorry if it’s a lot to handle

Mmmmm I’ll start with the twins… the twins actually are seen as princes and the townspeople accept them as the “rulers” of the land. The apple incident doesn’t happen until they’re adults, and it happens because the townspeople attack Nightmare saying that Dream should be the crown prince instead. They never cut the tree down so it still stands tall.

Nightmare defends himself and eats the apples after getting tempted by the spirit who killed Nim. The thing is, Dream is able to stop Nightmare before he eats them all by absorbing a few of the golden apples and fighting Nightmare out of his crazed state of eating. Now while Dream stopped Nightmare, he hurt his eye in the process, which made Dream become overwhelmed with guilt and he pledges to no longer fight anyone. Nightmare only eats 500 corrupted apples instead of the 999 because Nightmare doesn’t have the time to corrupt his brother’s apples. It leaves him in a more unstable situation because he hasn’t fully let himself get taken over.

The tree has only golden apples on it now, which leaves an imbalance where Nightmare has all the control over negativity and Dream has only a little control of the positivity. Nightmare somehow takes over the kingdom which leaves Dream to scramble away as his jealous brother turns half to goop and tries going for his throat.

Now this brings us to Dream running into the multiverse, after Neil informs him about the omega timeline. Neil gives him a transport token since he wasn’t used to creating portals with his new powers yet. But, he quickly learns that he’s not exactly welcome in the greater universe. Out!codes that were deemed as a protector were seen as a threat because of their immense power.

Dream learns this when trying to get into the omega timeline. They scan his code and realize he’s a protector and immediately try to capture him. This leads to a chase where Dream meets Ink and Blue!

Blue is an omega timeline guard that constantly tries to capture the protectors of spotted. Ink is the protector of creation that has decided after centuries of unfair treatment that he’s just going to harass the omega timeline. He plays pranks on them pretty much every day and is just a general nuisance.

Dream runs into Ink while trying to escape and Ink is delighted to finally meet the guardian of positivity. Ink shows Dream a little bit of the ropes of the multiverse and tells him that is he ever needs someplace to hide, to go to the anti-void. Ink doesn’t state that it’s the anti-void, he just gives him a code to portal. At some point Dream has to go to the anti-void because he can’t keep running from the multiverse forever.

When he gets there he is met with the vast white expanse and he follows the blue strings in the distance until he makes it to Error’s area. Error greets him abruptly by stringing his soul up, which really makes Dream freak out because his soul is what Nightmare was after. (Since his brother wanted to rule over all the apples including the ones that Dream absorbed)

Dream and Error communicate (even if at this point Error can’t speak because of how glitched he is) and Error lets Dream stay in the anti-void whenever he wants.

Dream realizes that being with Error is the first time he is ever able to really feel safe and comfortable because of the quiet anti-void and the quiet nature of Error now.

Error is a total gentle giant here and doesn’t leave the anti-void much. He always takes Dream to different aus with beautiful scenery for Dream’s enjoyment, but also he’s afraid that the anti-void will hurt Dream if he’s there too long. Despite being the protector of destruction he shows Dream that the multiverse is beautiful in a lot of ways he couldn’t experience by himself.

Just gentle glitchy giant and anxious antidepressant 😫❤️❤️

Some cool things to note:

- Error only has one arm, the other arm he constructs out of strings which he mostly uses to grab things. The reason he is like this is because he was caught by the omega timeline at some point and he was rescued by Ink a little too late. I imagine they work like if a jellyfish could use they’re stingers as limbs haha. I imagine Dream holds onto the strands because of how glitched Error is and it makes both of them feel safe together… He doesn’t go out much because of the hidden fear of others after being experimented on.

- Nightmare is erratic because of the semi transition so he can go from feeling deep remorse about his brother one moment and cut back to the apathetic longing to be in power. He actually takes great care of his mother, who he has since lost the ability to talk with. He is a cruel ruler, and anyone who tries to defy him is immediately executed.

- Blue isn’t necessarily bad, he’s just got a job he’s paid to do and even at some point Blue was able to capture Ink but let him go in fear of what omega timeline scientists would do. He thinks Ink is annoying yet really funny.

- Dream is actually more powerful than regular because he absorbed a few more apples than one. He just doesn’t want to fight anything, he’s a pacifist. He got the crack in his eye from his brother in their scuffle, which left him blinded for a bit before he gets healed by Geno. Error probably knits Dream blankets and pillows and stuff because Dream is often sleepy and Error always finds him passed out whoever in the anti-void if left alone long enough.

I’m planning on throwing a bunch more sanses into this thing but idk how long I’ll enjoy this multiverse au haha. Don’t even know what to call it yet 😭

Sorry that was a lot, but I make a lot of these stories up when I’m working haha. It keeps my brain occupied

[frikatilhi]

sorry to be the bringer of angst/negativity(?) in this here askbox, dont answer if u dont feel like it, but i just wanna let out some strange sadness i feel lately

but am i the only pessimist bojere bitch here? like the reason i ship them hard is because i think what they portray is so beautiful and cute? And that irl them are most likely aight friends at best and a lot of stuff are just exaggerated for the publicity? like i can believe maybe jere really is into the friendship at best but that's abt it?

idk, i've just been disillusioned by a lotta friendship/rpf that are milked to high heaven, only to end up being "for the shippers" and that they dont like each other at all?

all i ask is copium/pep talk that will make me believe somehow that the deep friendship they portray in public/socials mirror what they actually have.

soz for being cringe

:((

Oh no, anon, I understand! This kind of thinking can easily make you feel like you're all alone, because we are supposed to stay positive and firmly in delulu land and ignore the stuff that doesn't fit the narrative.

This got long so snip snip

But for what it's worth, leaving all the shipping stuff aside, I do happen to believe the friendship is very real and just as deep as they portray. If anything, I think Bojan seems to be downplaying it instead of hyping it, keeping it more private instead of posturing on social media. When they talk about each other, they seem very genuine.

I could have bought the argument about exaggarating it for publicity during ESC, I mean, the contestants and especially JO were all out there making friends and creating content and buzz about it, feeding off each other's popularity. I remember thinking that myself - oh, that's cute, what a nice bromance, but I am SO over that kind of narrative, straight friends being huggy for clicks, I want the real thing, I want the happy ending, not settling or falling for anyone's media strategy any more. And it kinda worked, didn't it? 7 points from the Finnish public!

Looking back, a lot of the cute insta stories were staged and purposefully filmed so I can see what you mean. (Also looking back, there are also many moments that were NOT like that, my favourites being the dinner date and everything that happened after the final.)

But then, Tavastia 1.0 happened, and that's when it all shifted for me. You mean Bojan dropped everything and flew to Finland, just to see Jere, just to hang out without an actual agenda (yes, he dropped in on the gig but that wasn't the purpose of the visit)?? And they went to karaoke and watched Twilight and Bojan hung out with Jere's friends when he had a gig out of town?? And it was a month after they had seen each other that they decided to actually keep that promise to visit each other and not let their friendship drop and their connection fade? You mean that actually happened??

And after that we've learned that they talk to each other regularly (like, once a week?) and share values and likes and love together. Bojan has been more quiet about it, sure, but (and now we enter into speculation land) he did seem to be a bit spooked about all the attention, I mean, who wouldn't freak out a little when people start obsessing over your new friendship and following your every move and social media click and write stories about you?

And Nordic Tour was... did you see that? Everything that happened (that we saw)? If it was only for publicity (publicity for what?? At this point, why do they still need it?) it was way too much and most of it totally unnecessary. Those were two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company.

Yes, they live far apart and rarely have time to see each other, but that doesn't mean their connection isn't real and deep and important.