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cassiesc0rner · 11 months ago

Text

Impurities V

Synopsis: You're the new girl at East Highland High, your only goal is to get through school. Until you come across Nate Jacobs

Genre: angst, slight fluff

Pairing: Nate x fem!reader

Warnings: negative body-image, panic attack, manipulation, lying, jealousy, dark themes, violent behaviour, Nate talks about intimate stuff with Max, Nate is being really mean :/ Imk if I missed something

Song rec: praying - Isabel LaRosa | I wish you roses - Kali Uchis | mentally not here - Elita | Somewhat Damaged - NIN | Animal - Sir Chloe

WC: +9,5k

Other parts: previous part, next part

A/N: I know this one took a little longer than usual, but I fear the next updates will take a little longer too, since I’m a perfectionist and I don’t wanna do anything half assed and quick. This one is also really just angsty. :( but thank you guys in advance for reading, and for being so patient with me! ᥫ᭡

You were surprised when you got home and found your dad opening the door for you. It wasn't like he never opened the door for you before, but you were used to your mom being the only one who's home.

You didn't bother saying anything as you entered your home. He frowned for a moment when you walked past him, typing on your phone. He was surprised you didn't smile at him and greet him properly.

"Y/n?" he called out. You turned around and looked at him "What?" you asked nonchalantly. He looked at you completely bewildered, before he sighed "Where were you?" he asked with a frown.

Your eyes nearly jumped out of your skull "Excuse me... what did you say?" you asked, taking a few steps closer to him. "Did you just ask me where I was?" You scoffed in disbelief.

Your dad crossed his arms. "Yeah.. what's with the attitude?" he asked. "Oh, sorry, it's just.. you usually never ask me where I've been so..." You explained sarcastically, not sure if your parents were slowly losing their minds.

"I was outside with a friend." you added before taking your shoes off, and walking towards your room.

Your dad looked after you in confusion. He hadn't looked at you properly for the past few weeks, and he felt uneasy, seeing how different you dressed and behaved.

Earlier that day, he approached your mom and asked her, why you two got so quiet all of a sudden, and she told him about her concerns regarding you and Nate. At first, he thought she was just making a fuss over nothing again.

But after seeing you walk past him, looking nothing like his daughter, he became concerned as well. It wasn't just the short skirt and the way-too-tight top that threw him off; it was the fact that you suddenly looked like every highschool guy's fantasy.

If you were to ask a middle schooler what a girl looks like, they'd describe you: No body hair, long lashes, obsessed with pink and skirts.

You weren't like that before. You never wore skirts or bright, soft colours. You always wanted to look cool and dark, not soft and... feminine.

He shook his head in disbelief before he walked into the garden and lit his cigarette, worried about what you might've gotten yourself into.

And worrying about how he could get you out of it.

The next day you woke up feeling well-rested as your alarm rang at 11 AM. It was Saturday, and you and Nate had this unspoken rule of meeting up every Saturday.

He texted you that he'd pick you up at 1 PM, but he didn't tell you what you would be doing. You got up and chose one of your dresses for the day.

It was a vintage-style, pastel pink A-line dress, with a floral pattern and puffy short sleeves. You found the dress online one day and just had to order it.

You missed it sometimes, going shopping on your own and taking inspiration from your pinterest boards. Choosing your clothes yourself and not wearing what someone else wants you to wear.

You missed your pants, loose graphic tops and your comfortable sneakers. When you wore tighter fitting tops, you constantly felt the need to suck in your stomach, and sit straight to prevent any pesky rolls from appearing.

The worst part was, that you were absolutely sure Nate didn't notice your effort which pressured you even more, because he probably thought you simply looked like this all the time.

Eating with him was also something you couldn't enjoy as much anymore, because you got bloated after your meals sometimes. You trusted Nate with your life, but you just didn't want him to see you in any unflattering way ever.

You also obviously loved Nate, and his compliments, but you were so overwhelmed sometimes, because you were so focused on being perfect for him that you weren't able to pay attention to other things anymore.

You didn't want him to even think about looking at other girls, which he also barely did when you two were out together. But the words of your mother and Maddy made you feel so insecure.

If what they were saying was true, you should be concerned about Nate only liking you because of your style or appearance, but instead, you felt the need to impress him more and more every time, craving his approval.

You pushed the thoughts aside as you grabbed a fresh towel, your underwear, and your dress before you went to the bathroom to take a shower and shave, which was a part of your routine you had to get used to at first.

It wasn't like you never shaved before, but you definitely never took it as serious as now. You loved it when Nate would run his hands over your legs, or arms with this satisfied smile on his face before he would tell you how smooth and soft your skin feels.

After your morning routine, you sighed as you slid into the dress, before you brushed and blow-dried your hair.

When you left the bathroom and walked back towards your room, you were surprised to catch a glimpse of both of your parents in the kitchen. You were starting to get suspicious, since your dad usually would've been at work by now.

You brushed it off and walked into your room to do your make up. You usually didn't wear a lot of make up. You just made sure to accentuate your lashes, put on some tinted lip balm, and some concealer to hide any dark spots. Sometimes, you added a winged eyeliner, nothing too dramatic, which gave your eyes a more doll-like look.

Of course, you were aware of the fact that Nate loved that look on you; in his eyes it suited you perfectly.

Almost like you were his own personal doll.

You also put on a generous amount of your perfume, after noticing how much Nate loved it on you, and decided to stay in your room until he would call you to tell you he's there.

You used the time to think of something you could gift Nate. Sure, you planned the surprise party and you paid for a lot of the things already. But you felt obligated to buy him an extra present, simply because he bought you so many without a special occasion.

Before you could finish that thought however, the doorbell rang. You didn't bother to leave your room since you knew your mom ordered something a few days ago.

Until you heard his deep voice vibrating through the walls.

You quickly got up and nearly ran out of your room. You walked to the main hallway, spotting Nate, talking to your dad, with flowers in his hand. He was earlier than you expected.

You walked up to them until you reached Nate and nearly jumped into his arms. "Hey.." you whispered shyly as you smiled up at him, your eyes so full of love for him that he couldn't help but wonder if all of this was just an act.

If you also looked at Max that way.

"These are for you." he informed you with a small smile, as he handed you the bouquet of red roses. He bought them on his way to your place, mostly for you of course, but also in an attempt to make a good impression on your parents.

"Aw.. they're so beautiful thank you!" You exclaimed as a big smile made its way onto your face. You got on your tiptoes before pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"Is this the 'friend' you went out with yesterday?" your dad asked, causing your eyes to widen before you turned towards your dad "No.. I went to Mia's place yesterday." yeah sure "This.." you trailed off as your hand searched for Nate's "is my boyfriend." you announced.

Your dad nodded "Yeah.. we've talked before, right?" he asked and Nate forced a smile "Yeah..." Your dad chuckled "I would give you the 'don't you dare hurt my daughter' talk, but I'm sure my wife did that already."

Nate nodded slowly "Yeah.. she did." he sighed. "I'll bring her back tomorrow, if that's okay?" He added. Your dad hesitated for a moment before he nodded as well. "Alright, let's go." You said as you smiled up at Nate.

You handed the roses over to your dad "Can you put them in my vase for me?" you asked as you looked at him, and to his dismay, you weren't smiling at him the way you used to when you were younger.

Or the way you just smiled at Nate.

He nodded as he smiled down at you "Sure.. When are you going to be back tomorrow?" he asked as Nate opened the door, ready to leave as fast as possible. "Um.. I don't know?" you shrugged before you simply waved at him, which bothered your dad.

It bothered him because he knew that you didn't need him anymore. When you needed him he was at work, always, no exception. You must've been so lonely without him, just the thought of it made him feel awful.

It wasn't that he simply didn't care enough about you. He did, he just couldn't show it, because that meant he'd be vulnerable in front of his family.

And his dad didn't raise him like that.

As soon as the door closed behind you, your dad sighed in frustration "You know that this is your fault, right?" your mom taunted as she stood behind him.

Your dad turned around as he clenched his jaw "What was I supposed to do? Say 'no, don't ever talk to my daughter again'?" He angrily responded as he walked past her "That's not what I meant." She retorted calmly, as she watched him go into the kitchen.

When he didn't react, she shouted "You could've prevented all of this from happening, if you just would've been a real father."

He stopped in his tracks before he turned around, the flowers still in his hands as he approached your mom with heavy steps, causing her to take a step back in fear "Oh yeah?" he rumbled as he looked down at her "And what about you? Maybe if you did your job right, our daughter wouldn't cling to a guy like him."

She sighed before blinking up at him "What do you mean by that?" Your dad scoffed in disbelief "You know what I'm talking about. You and your fucking anxiety all the time... You raised a loner, and a weak one at that. Of course she's gonna run into the arms of the first person, who is nice to her for longer than just a week." he spat.

"It wasn't exactly easy to raise her alone, you know?" she defended herself "Jesus, you act like I did nothing for this family! Why do you think I'm constantly at work? So that you and her don't have to worry about money." he raised his voice, causing her to flinch.

He sighed as he recalled all the fights the two of them had, and how he would come into your room late at night, to tuck you into bed. That was one of the few interactions the two of you had when you were younger.

And you'd always complain about how your mom wouldn't let you go out with your 'friends', which caused them to think you were weird and a loner. Of course they weren’t real friends, but that alone made it even harder for you, to find actual people who you can trust and build a friendship with.

And whenever he tried to talk to your mom and tell her that she needed to get treatment for her anxiety, they would fight. Sometimes even until he had enough and just left, not coming home until the next day.

"Do me a favor," he said, pushing the roses into her hands, "put them in water and stop talking." he groaned, before leaving her behind to, once again, drive away and calm down.

Nate decided to take you to a pretty café today and you couldn't help but feel excited. Until you noticed that he was lost in thoughts for most of the car ride. He wasn't that talkative to begin with, but today was just different.

"And he suddenly asks me where I went when I got home yesterday, isn't that strange?" you said, looking at the menu, unsure which cake to choose. He nodded, narrowing his eyes at you without you noticing.

He wanted to ask you the same thing, but he knew you wouldn't tell him the truth "Yeah that's actually strange.. your family's strange in general though." Nate added.

He wondered what had gotten into your dad. At first, he didn't care that Nate wanted you to go to his party and sleep at his place, and then all of a sudden, he asks you where you went yesterday and when you’d be back home tomorrow?

He hoped he didn't have to take care of both of your parents. But he probably had to if your dad started to get in his way too.

But what was even more important right now was what you were doing with Max behind his back. And he was about to find out today, either you’ll tell him, or he will. "Nate?" he blinked before chuckling "Sorry.. I kind of zoned out."

You stroked his hand that was resting on the table, looking at him. "Is everything okay? You seem really distracted today." you frowned.

Nate shook his head dismissively "Yeah sure.. I'm just really stressed out at the moment.." you pouted in return "I'm sorry, is there something I can do? Do you wanna go home?" He shook his head again "No, let's order something and eat first."

You nodded as you continued to look at the list "I don't know which one to choose.." you groaned as your eyes flickered from one cake to another. "C'mon, let me choose for you." Nate offered as he looked at the menu, feeling some sense of control return to him.

"Yeah, please." you sighed. "I wanna get the cheesecake, but the strawberry one also looks really good." you explained. Nate nodded "Take the strawberry one." he demanded calmly.

You nodded before you started a new topic "Oh, by the way, what do you think of my new dress? I bought it recently.." you told him with a shy smile on your tinted lips. Nate furrowed his brows in return, realizing he hadn't complimented you today.

Did you feel neglected? Had this happened before? "Oh, you're right! I meant to ask you about it, since I've never seen you wear that before... You look absolutely gorgeous, as always." He smiled at you "How could I forget..." he mumbled more to himself than to you.

Maybe it did happen before and you felt like he's not paying attention to you anymore. Which definitely wasn't true at all, but you were insecure so what if you let your insecurities get the best of you?

That could be the only reason for you to even consider cheating on him with someone like Max.

After the short trip to the café nearby, you and Nate went straight home. His patience was running thin and he needed closure. You already noticed his mind was elsewhere, and he already planned on asking you about the situation once you were at his place.

As you entered Nate's home, Marsha greeted and approached you. "Hey, Sweetie." She exclaimed as she hugged you softly. "How did your mom take the news?" she asked.

You sighed "To be honest, not so well.. Haven't spoken to her in days." you admited with a sad smile. "Oh... that's not good. I guess she's not open to meeting up with me then?" She added "I didn't even get to ask her, because we had a pretty big fight." you admitted.

Marsha frowned "I'm sorry, Honey." just as she was about to say something else, Nate interrupted "We'll figure something out, I bet it's gonna be alright." you nodded in response "C'mon let's go upstairs." he added before he took your hand in his. You smiled friendly at Marsha before you followed him.

Once you two entered his room, Nate closed the door behind him, not moving from the spot.

Then you heard the click sound of the lock.

You turned around and looked at him, with this confused look which Nate usually found absolutely endearing. When he simply stared at you, you felt even smaller than you already were in his presence.

You chuckled nervously, unsure of what he was going to do next. Did he plan on having sex with you right away? Why else would he lock the door?

"Are you.. just gonna stand there?" You asked nervously. He chuckled drily before shaking his head "I'm just looking at you for a moment." he reasoned.

You approached him with a shy smile, before wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your head on his chest, releasing a content sigh as you did.

Usually Nate would smile in return or react in literally any way, but right now he decided to wait until you would let go of him. Right now he didn't like the way his your perfume clouded his senses, or the way his your bag sat so nicely on your shoulder.

Once you removed your arms and took a step back to look at him, Nate decided now's the moment. His back leaned against the door as he stared you down. "I need to ask you something." he announced. You frowned, before nodding and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Where were you yesterday?"

Your eyes widened. You didn't expect him to ask you that. You involuntarily swallowed as you playfully furrowed your brows "I was at Mia's, I told you." he chuckled again "I know what you told me." he said as he crossed his arms, an insincere smile on his face that sent a shiver down your spine.

You looked at the ground as you tried to think of something, anything you could say. "Y/n, where were you yesterday?" it was the same question, but his tone was sterner. You didn't dare to look at him, knowing he'd see how nervous you were.

Not like he couldn't tell already just by the way you stared at the ground. "I.. was at M-Mia's-" Nate groaned "No, you weren't." he interrupted "I know for a fact that you weren't." his voice dropped an octave, as he tried his best to control himself.

He took notice of the way your breathing picked up as you still didn't look at him. "Nate... Why are you asking me this?" you asked as you tried to calm down, and buy time to come up with something else you could tell Nate.

"Because you're lying to me, and I wanna know why." He reasoned. You couldn’t tell if he knew you were with Max, or if he talked to Mia and only knew that you weren't with her. All you knew was that he wasn't messing around. "Why do you think I'm lying to you?" you asked as you finally looked up at him.

You've never seen that look on his face before.

This dark, cold look that made your breath hitch in fear. "Do you think I'm stupid?" he suddenly asked, his voice void of any emotion. You quickly shook your head "No, of course not! I just... I don't know where this is coming from suddenly." you admitted.

Nate sighed "Y/n... I'm going to ask you this one last time and you better tell me the truth." he warned, "Where were you yesterday?" Your breathing got quicker again, not allowing you to focus. "I.. I wasn't at Mia's place..." you admited shakily.

Nate nodded "That's right, you weren't." his tone softened just slightly "Now tell me... who were you with yesterday?" You played with your fingers as you felt like your heart would stop any moment from now. "Nate... I-I can't tell you."

Nate clenched his jaw as he inhaled sharply. "I've always been honest with you, is it too much to ask you to do the same?" he asked drily "I don't... ask for much, you know? I'm willing to give you everything I can and all I want in return, is your honesty and most importantly, your loyalty."

You nodded as you tried to calm down again. "I love you, but I can't tell you, you really have to trust me with this." he scoffed "You want me to simply trust you, after you just lied to me?"

You nodded erratically "Are you scared of me?" You shook your head as you blinked rapidly. Of course you weren't scared of Nate, you’re sure he'd never hurt you. But he was so scary in this moment that you didn’t know how to handle it.

"Then why don't you tell me what's going on?" He asked, even more irritated than before. You sighed as you tried to come up with an excuse, so desperate to keep the party a secret for as long as possible. "Okay.. um.." you started as you suddenly got an idea.

"The thing is, I had an appointment yesterday and I didn't want to tell you because.." you trailed off once Nate scoffed "Stop fucking lying, Y/n!" he raised his voice at you, causing you to flinch as he started to lose his patience and his temper.

Nate gripped both of your arms firmly, but not tight enough to hurt you. You flinched once again as you looked up at him. "I know you met up with Max." you shook your head rapidly as you remembered Max's words.

"Please don't let Nate beat my ass if he finds out we went out alone."

Nate laughed in disbelief before his grip tightened on you, causing you to whimper in fear. "I saw you, okay? I saw you get out of his fucking car, so don't fucking lie to me!" he shouted.

You furrowed your brows in confusion. What did he mean by that? Did he see you get out of his car when you two went to the mall, or when he drove you home?

Was he.. waiting in front of your house? No, you were sure he wouldn't do that.

"You saw me get out of his car? Were you following me?" you asked in disbelief.

Shit.

Nate looked to the side for a moment to regain his composure "I meant, I saw you get into his car. Of course I didn't follow you, you never gave me a reason to." he said in a calmer tone this time "But when you're fucking lying to me, to meet up with another guy, I might have to do it, no?"

You looked to the ground again "Did he touch you?" you shook your head "Did you touch him?" you shook your head again. He wanted to believe you, but your desperate attempts to hide the truth really messed with him.

He swung you around, pushing your back into the wall and knocking your breath away in the process. Your looked at him like a deer in headlights, as you tried to process what was happening. You didn't even notice how quick you were breathing because you were so fixated on Nate.

"You don't get how serious this is, do you?" he gritted his teeth "I told you about Maddy and how she cheated on me and-and you... you meet up with Max, behind my fucking back.. I mean, you know how that looks, right?" he rambled.

You felt your vision starting to blur slightly as you looked up at Nate "N-Nate-" you whimpered, and he scoffed in return "I mean, what is it? Does he treat you better or did you just get bored of me?" He asked furiously.

You breathed even heavier as you tried to keep your tears inside. "I didn't cheat on you!" you raised your voice, but it came out shaky. Nate nodded sarcastically "You think I believe that after you lied to me?"

You sighed "I'm sorry for lying to you, but you can't actually think I-" Nate removed one hand from your arm, before delivering a punching to the wall next to your head, causing you to whimper and close your eyes. "Then just tell me what happened between you two!" he roared.

You shakily exhaled "Nate, please.. You're scaring me." you pleaded desperately, and all he did was clench his jaw "You told me you're not scared of me earlier, was that also a lie?" he retorted.

"I didn't cheat on you, I love you and I would never do something like that to you." you started again "You know... how long it took for me that day, to even be able to... get naked in front of you." you sobbed, feeling embarrassed as your mind went back to that day. "Do you really think, I'd just.. cheat on you with a boy I barely even know?" you sniffled.

Nate chuckled, unable to contain his bitterness "I mean who knows, maybe that was an act as well." He snarled.

Your heart broke into pieces, the weight of his words heavy on you. Not only because he didn't believe you, but because you struggled so much to allow him to get this close to you, to see everything of you and now he seemed to make fun of you.

You tried to break free from his grip as you were about to cry, and didn't want him to see. But Nate was obviously stronger, almost smiling as you thrashed in his grip. "What is it, am I right?" He taunted as his other hand returned to your arm.

You shook your head as your lip trembled, not daring to speak because you knew it would come out in sobs. "C'mon, tell me, are you angry because I'm right?" He asked again.

Nate didn't notice how far he went, not even when he heard your silent cries. To him, it seemed like a confession rather than a denial.

He was sure you were crying because he caught you.

You felt yourself getting more and more lightheaded, mostly because of your irregular breathing which resulted in a lack of oxygen. "I.. never cheated on you!" you raised your voice once again. "I met up with him, yes. But.. that doesn't mean I cheated." you tried to sound as coherent as you could in the current situation.

You gripped his arms as a tear rolled down your cheeks. "Let go of me!" you yelled, as you tried to break free once again. He frowned as he looked down at you, still convinced that you were in the wrong. He leaned in closer, as his eyes bored into yours, before he whispered "What were you doing in his car then?"

Nate was torn between his anger towards you for breaking his trust, and the twisted and dark part of him which reveled in your tears which slowly started to spill, knowing that he caused them.

You sighed before you looked into his dark eyes, your brows furrowed in anger "I planned a surprise with him, for your fucking birthday, okay?" you spat as tears continued to well up in your eyes.

Nate fell silent as his thoughts went back to the messages Max had sent you. It actually made sense, for the first time he actually felt like you told the truth.

His grip on you softened slightly, and you used the chance to remove his hands from your arms before you pushed him away and sank onto the floor.

He looked down at you "... Seriously?" he asked softly. You sobbed as you harshly opened your bag before your shaky hands tried their best to grab and unlock your phone. Tears rolled down your face, as you couldn't contain them anymore.

Once you unlocked it and opened Max's chat, you held it towards Nate "Take it!" you wailed. He slowly took your phone, reading through the chat as he felt his heart sink more and more with each message.

Some even showing how excited you were to ‘finally do something for your boyfriend’, since you felt like you weren't good enough after he always made you gifts and you never gave him anything back.

He could feel your love just through the texts you sent Max, and it made him want to throw the phone away and scream in agony. Not only because he was so wrong, but also because of how awful he treated you, his sweet girl, his everything.

You continued to cry and breathe heavily, as you felt your chest tighten more and more. You never expected Nate to push you, or talk to you like this. He never got this rough with you, not even when you were just friends.

It shattered the image you had of him.

"Fuck..." he breathed out before he closed your phone and rubbed his face in disbelief, looking down at you with regret in his eyes.

He crouched down next to where you cowered, next to his door. You hid your face behind your arms as you continued to cry and hyperventilate. You felt like everything you saw of Nate was an act that he put on, in order to lure you in.

He reached his hand out to stroke your arm. "I'm so sorry... fuck, I don't even know what to-" You slapped his hand away "Don't.. touch... me." you choked out.

Nate was taken aback, not used to you talking to him like that, or slapping his hand away for that matter. Under any other circumstances he would be pissed and try to assert his dominance over you.

Not like he wasn’t pissed already, but more at himself for losing control, and not at you. He was supposed to protect you and make you feel safe with him, not repeat his old mistakes.

Right now he just wanted to scoop you up, and hold you close when he noticed you were sobbing on his floor, completely scared and shaken.

He went too far, way too far.

He had to fix it, and he had to think quickly because everything depended on this moment. If he made one more wrong move, everything could shatter into pieces right now.

Your tears continued to fall, as you slowly tried to get up again. You were torn, because you wanted to leave, be alone and think about what just happened, and at the same time you needed someone who holds you and comforts you, before you actually break down again.

Once you stood on your shaky legs, you reached out, snatching your phone from his grasp. Without another glance his direction you took small steps towards the door, ready to unlock it and leave.

"What are you doing?" Nate panicked as he walked in front of you. You flinched at the sound of his voice, which caused him to frown, once he realized that you were actually scared of him.

But Nate would never let you leave like this.

Not only because he was actually scared to lose you right now, but mostly because he saw how shaky your legs were and how disturbed you looked. He couldn't let you leave alone like this, it was dangerous.

"I'm leaving.." you sniffled as you walked past him. He wanted to hug you and hold you close, but he was so scared to touch you. Almost afraid he'd break you or push you further away from him.

"Y/n, please, let me explain-" he stopped when you looked up at him, your eyes red and glassy, your make-up smudged and your cheeks stained with dark tears, a result of your mascara and eyeliner. You looked broken.

"Do you know... how fucking hard it was for me to trust you?" You asked as new tears were threatening to spill "I.. can't believe you actually considered.. that I put on an act in front of you. After everything I tried, to be.. perfect for you." you added. "I.. thought you were the only person in my life.. who would never hurt me!"

You suddenly broke down in tears, as the wall you so desperately tried to hold crumbled. Nate was taken aback when you raised your voice at him and cursed. He wasn't used to hearing you talk like that, and it made him realize even more how deeply upset you were.

"I know, and I'm so sorry.. I never should've said that, please, just let me hold you." he softly offered "I can tell that you're not okay right now, and I know that it's my fault, but I can assure you it's never gonna happen again."

He wanted to believe what he had just promised you, but he knew that another argument like this was bound to happen sometime. Either because you were too gullible around men, or because he was unable to keep the control he had over you.

Now that he’s seen you actually fight with him, he knew you weren’t going to stay as obedient as you were anymore. You actually talked back, defended yourself and stood your ground against him. Something he hadn’t considered up until this moment.

He took notice of how you gasped for air as you continued to cry. "Please let.. let me take care of you, yeah?" he carefully asked as he took a step closer "I'm not a monster, you don't have to be afraid of me.." he reminded you.

Once he was close enough, he carefully placed a hand on your shoulder in order to test if you'd push him away again. When you shuddered, he took a step closer and wrapped his arms around you, making sure to not hold you too tight, since you already seemed to be suffocating.

He's seen Maddy cry, he's seen Cassie cry, but nothing compared to seeing you cry. He hated himself for making you feel like this, and he hated himself even more for feeling a strange sense of satisfaction at your display of vulnerability earlier.

You just looked so pretty, even when you cried. "Shh.. it's okay, can you breathe with me?" He asked once he noticed you still hadn't calmed down. When you didn't respond and continued to gasp for air, he almost started to panic as well.

Nate couldn't understand how one confrontation was all it took for you to get a panic attack. But he was determined to regain control of you and the situation at hand.

In his eyes he had every right to assume you cheated on him, after you lied about going out with Max and after the messages he saw in the preview. But he also understood that you were upset, because his choice of words might’ve hurt you.

Not to mention, you planned this surprise for him because you loved him, and only him, and all he did was yell at you to tell him the truth, instead of simply trusting you in the first place.

Your heart pounded in your chest, as you tried to focus on anything but the overwhelming panic that consumed you. Your hands trembled uncontrollably, and you felt a wave of nausea hit you like a truck. The room seemed to spin, the walls closing in on you.

"Hey, look at me what's wrong?" he asked as his hands moved back to your shoulders. You looked up at him as you felt like your head was spinning. You weren't sure how to tell him what you needed, but you could see worry written all over his features.

"I.. I need to.. breathe.. fuck..." you croaked, panic visible on your features "I need air.." you added. Nate cursed under his breath as he realized you were actually having a full-blown panic attack. He had to distract you and calm you down, but he didn't know how.

He took a deep breath himself, as he closed his eyes, before opening them again "Y/N, please... breathe with me," he urged, his voice shaky yet soothing. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Just follow my breath."

But his words barely registered in your mind, your thoughts racing too fast, too loud, to pay attention to anything. The mistrust, the fear of losing him, the shame of your perceived betrayal— it all pressed down on you, it nearly suffocated you.

Nate watched, helpless and horrified, as you cried in front of him. With each passing moment he saw the damage he had caused more and more, and it terrified him. He reached out again, more gently this time as he tried to comfort you.

Nate realized that mere words wouldn't be enough to undo the pain he had caused. He had to show you somehow, that he could be the person you needed. And he needed to gain control over the situation. Nate took another deep breath, trying to steady his own racing heart, and slowly moved closer to you.

He gently rubbed his thumbs over your shoulders, his touch light and hesitant. "Y/n, look at me," he said softly. "Focus on me, okay? Just on me." His voice was low and calming, a stark contrast to his earlier tone.

You hesitated, your vision still blurred with tears, but the sincerity in his voice made you look up. Nate's eyes were filled with regret and concern, completely different to the way he looked at you before.

"That's it," he whispered encouragingly, his thumb continued to brush your shoulder in a soothing rhythm. "Just keep looking at me. We're going to get through this together."

Nate took another deep breath, exaggerating the action to show you what he wanted you to do. "In through your nose, out through your mouth," he repeated, his eyes never leaving yours. "Just like this."

You tried to mimic his breathing, struggling at first but gradually falling into a more regular rhythm. Nate continued to guide you, his voice steady and reassuring. "Yeah just like that. Just keep breathing with me. It'll pass, I promise."

He gently reached for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours, in an attempt to ground you. "I'm here," he murmured. "I'm not going anywhere... and I never meant to hurt you."

You sniffled as you nodded rapidly. "We'll talk about it and get through this, right?" he asked, needing your reassurance this time, to which you nodded again. "Everything's gonna be fine again, just breathe." he instructed.

Gradually, the panic began to go away, your breaths coming more evenly. Nate's steady presence, his genuine regret, and his undevided attention helped steady you, pulling you back from the edge.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice still shaky but more coherent. Nate nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll always be here for you. Always."

Nate knew that this was just the beginning of a long journey to rebuild what he had broken. But for now, he was focused on you, on making sure you were okay, and on showing you that he could be the man you needed right now.

He slowly pulled you into his arms, nearly clinging onto you as he sighed in relief "I love you so much.. don't ever forget that, yeah?" he pressed a tender kiss onto your head "I can't lose you.. That's why I got so angry. I shouldn't have said all those things.." he reasoned.

You nodded slowly as you inhaled his scent, which always made you feel so safe. You inhaled sharply one more time as you closed your eyes, feeling incredibly exhausted and lethargic, after your adrenaline level dropped back to normal.

Nate took notice of your physical state, sensing that you probably want to rest and feel comfortable again. He gently pulled back and cupped your face, his thumb brushing away the lingering tears. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?" he said softly, his voice filled with genuine affection.

You nodded slowly, too drained to argue or protest. Nate slowly removed the bag from your shoulder before placing it down next to the door. Then he led you to the bathroom, his arm wrapped around your waist.

Once inside, he carefully sat you down on the edge of his cabinet. He grabbed a washcloth and dampened it with warm water, then gently began wiping away the remains of your smudged makeup from your face. His touch was surprisingly gentle.

As he worked, he kept murmuring praises. "You're so beautiful... I never want to see you like that again. I'm here for you." His voice was soothing for your nerves, and you were starting to relax as you let him take care of you.

After he had cleaned your face, he slowly stood up from his crouching position before he left the room for a few seconds, and you hated how you already felt lonely.

He came back shortly after with one of his soft, oversized shirts in his hand. "Here, put this on. You'll feel more comfortable," he suggested, handing it to you. You took the shirt with a grateful nod, and slowly started to change, your movements shaky from exhaustion.

Nate averted his eyes respectfully, giving you a moment of privacy. Once you were dressed in his shirt, which smelled faintly of him and brought a sense of comfort, he helped you back to his bed.

You crawled under the covers, feeling the softness envelop you, and Nate slipped in next to you, unsure whether or not you wanted him to pull you close.

When you opened your eyes and looked at him like you were about to cry again, he scooted slightly closer, once you extended your arm and wrapped it around his waist, your body trembling ever so slightly.

He hated himself for feeling a sense of relief wash over him. He should feel awful for making you feel like this in the first place, and deep down he did, but he couldn't help but feel glad that you were clinging onto him.

He was scared he had lost you for a moment, but now he was more than sure that his small outburst pulled you closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around you securely, his warmth and steady heartbeat making you feel safe again. "I'm here, yeah? Just rest now," he whispered, pressing another kiss to your forehead. "I've got you."

You nestled against him, your eyelids growing heavy. The exhaustion began to take over, and you felt yourself drifting off, surrounded by Nate's protective embrace. For the first time since the argument, you felt at peace, knowing he was there with you.

While you started drifting off to sleep however, Nate already contemplated what he'd do about Max. Sure, you two weren't secretly cheating, but he couldn't shake the feeling, that Max was a threat to your relationship nonetheless.

He still had to make sure that Max wouldn't tell you anything about Nate's past, and even if Nate would never admit it, he was insecure, and he was overthinking everything Max did. For example, why would he help you throw Nate a birthday party? They weren't that close, so what if Max was using it as an excuse to get close to you?

Of course you wouldn't notice it, you were too oblivious, even when Nate used to openly flirt with you back when you were just friends. God, he wished he could go through your messages with Max one more time, to search for possible hints that prove Max didn't only have good intentions.

But he obviously couldn't just ask you, he promised something like earlier would never happen again, and despite knowing that it would happen again, sooner or later, he couldn't just ask you about it this soon.

He decided to let you rest for now and take matters into his own hands once the time was right.

Once you opened your eyes, you noticed the soft light of the setting sun, which illuminated Nate's room. You had no idea how long you were asleep and once you tried to move, but felt the restriction of Nate's arm around you, you remembered what or who caused you to sleep in the first place.

You sighed softly as your mind went back to all the things Nate said. You know that he didn't mean it, and that he was just driven by anger. But the fact that he totally discredited your feelings during all of this, bothered you. And the way he shoved you into his wall, before punching it, scared you as well.

However, you assumed that his fear was mostly induced by the things that happened between him and Maddy.

Not to mention, that his anger wasn’t something he could control. You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, and you weren’t particularly angry at him. You just hoped that he’d work on that in the future, not only for your sake, but for his as well.

Your gaze shifted towards his face, taking in how peaceful he looked right now. You wished he could always be like this.

Once you tried to free yourself from his embrace, he subconsciously tightened his grip on you, causing you to fall flush against his chest. He slowly stirred awake, before opening his eyes and looking at you.

You both didn't know how to react, the tension thick in the air. But once you smiled softly at him, he started to relax, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, before smiling back at you.

"How're you?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep. You sighed before sliding out of his grip and sitting up in his bed. "I'm better, my head just hurts a little bit, but that's fine..." you trailed off as you looked to the side.

Once silence set in, he sighed and stroked your thigh gently "I'm sorry about earlier.. I don't know what came over me." he said, his tone soft as he tried to appear as sad and regretful as possible.

"It's just.. Maddy, she ruined my trust and I was so sure you'd never betray me, which you clearly didn't, but when I saw all these signs, I was so sure that you did and I just snapped.." he ranted.

You could see the distress on his face and it made you frown, since you could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that.." you responded.

He was so glad that you didn't push him away, and accepted his apology. But he needed reassurance, any kind of reassurance that you wouldn't leave him. "It's fine.. I just want you to know, that if I ever get angry at you, I don't mean it like that, yeah? I just can't control myself sometimes and.. fuck.." he sighed, before he continued "I'm just so scared to lose you, I don't know how to handle it."

You sighed in response "Nate, you won't lose me just because I'm meeting up with other people, you know?" you carefully explained, to which he nodded.

That wasn't the reassurance he was hoping for though.

He wanted you to tell him you're never going to leave him, that you were his and that you'd stay far away from everyone else guys. "Yeah, sure it's just.. I need you, y/n. I don't think I could live without you." he said in an unusually emotional tone, almost as if he was about to cry, secretly hoping he’d be more successful if he showed you how desperate he truly was.

You stroked caressingly through his hair, in an attempt to calm him down. "Nate, I'm not gonna leave you, okay? I've seen you get angry before, and I know that it's not your fault.." His ears perked up at that. It wasn't his fault? That had to be the first time he heard someone say that.

He looked up at you "What do you mean it's not my fault?" you shrugged "I just don't think you do it on purpose..” When Nate still looked up at you, you elaborated.

“I know you don't really wanna talk about your dad, and that's totally fine, but I know that he causes a lot of your anger. I see how stressed you get because of him and the pressure of being perfect at everything.”

As if on command, his sad expression was replaced with a different one. Almost as if he was in awe, or moved by your words. No one ever seemed to acknowledge the pressure he had to endure, everyone only blamed him for everything he did.

His thoughts were racing, as you once again surprised him with your understanding nature. He didn’t expect that reaction, or to feel so understood and surprisingly warm. He couldn’t help but think about all the ways he could use your sympathy, to keep you close to him.

“You.. really think so?” he asked hopeful, to which you nodded. “Of course, I can’t imagine what that must be like.. I mean my parents are nowhere near perfect either, but they never really pressured me into anything except for getting decent grades.” you chuckled.

“I.. never thought anyone would understand,” he frowned as leaned his head flush against your outer thigh. “everyone always blames me for everything.. But I don’t do it on purpose.” he continued. “I know.. It’s hard to control it.” you cooed as you continued to stroke his hair.

You were speaking from experience, having to fight against your anger as well, whenever your parents got on your nerves. It definitely wasn’t easy, and that’s why you understood where Nate was coming from.

While you continued to comfort Nate, he already calculated his next moves. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help but wonder if this meant he could slip up from time to time, without losing you.

You technically just gave him permission to treat you like this, without being aware of it. And he was so proud, because you truly were perfect and you prove it over and over again.

After you two spent the weekend, you had to go back to school the following day. You obviously weren't aware of it, but Nate already planned to approach Max during their football training that day.

When Nate entered the locker room, most of his teammates were nearly ready, but Max wasn’t there yet.

Of course he didn’t plan to confront him in front of the other guys, even though he felt the urge to let everyone know, that they should stay the fuck away from you.

Once everyone was done and went ahead, Nate was still getting dressed, taking his time in case Max would still show up. Just then he indeed entered the locker room, his smile slowly fading when he looked around the room and noticed he was alone with none other than Nate.

Nate locked eyes with him, as he wondered what took him so long to get there. Was he meeting up with you again? It shouldn’t matter to him anymore, because now he knew you weren’t cheating on him. But he still didn’t want Max to spend more time with you than necessary.

“Hey..” Max greeted Nate, before hurrying and sitting down on the bench opposite from him. “What’s up..” Nate responded, his gaze basically glued onto him, as he laced up his cleats.

Max placed his bag onto the bench and sat down, starting to get ready as fast as possible. Not only because he arrived later than everyone else did, but also because he wanted to escape Nate.

“So,” Nate began, his voice surprisingly calm, almost friendly, which made Max feel even more uneasy. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with my girl lately, huh?”

Max’s hand froze inside his bag, as he looked towards Nate with the most neutral expression he could muster, but the hint of panic from before didn’t go unnoticed by Nate.

Max already expected Nate to confront him, after receiving your text on sunday, which informed him that he found out about everything. But that didn’t make it any easier for him.

He was also wondering, how he found out in the first place. You were hell-bent on keeping it a secret, so he could only assume that he caught on somehow and forced you to admit it.

He felt so sorry for you.

“Yeah, I guess you could say so..” he chuckled nervously, averting his gaze and rummaging through his bag. “You two get close? Maybe closer than you should?” he asked bitterly.

“Tell me, Max,” he said, standing up and stepping closer to him. “You think she’s pretty?” Max swallowed harshly, struggling to find the right words. He felt like Nate would get mad, no matter what he’d say.

“I mean, you spent enough time with her to notice. Those eyes, that smile… I’m sure anyone would get weak..” he paused, letting his words sink in. “Bet you even wondered what it’s like to be with her, right?”

Max’s discomfort was clearly visible, and Nate enjoyed every second of it, knowing he had the power to cause so much distress with so little effort.

“You know,” Nate added, as he took another step closer to Max, who looked at him with fear in his eyes. “She’s different, fucking perfect even. I know every inch of her, the way she moans when I touch her and the way she tastes, God..” Nate trailed off, enjoying the way Max seemed to squirm under his gaze.

“Listen Nate,” Max started cautiously, trying to keep eye contact but failing against Nate’s intense stare. “I-I don’t know what you think happened, but there’s nothing going on between me and Y/n. We were just-”

Max swallowed harshly, knowing that he was playing a dangerous game with him. He glanced around the locker room, hoping, no, praying that anyone would come in and interrupt their conversation.

“She asked me for help because it was important to her, and I thought you’d want me to support your girlfriend, so I said yes!” He explained himself to Nate “I swear, this was all about your birthday, I never would make any advances. I know she’s yours, man, everyone knows.” he continued.

“Y/n just wanted to make sure you have a great birthday, I really-” he paused, trying to interpret Nate’s reaction but all he got, was that same cold calculating gaze.

“And about what you said earlier,” Max added, “I-I’m not thinking about her like that. I mean, she’s your girlfriend and I respect that.”

Max clenched his fists, not out of aggression, but as a way to steady himself. He knew he stepped into dangerous territory –one wrong word could set Nate off.

When Nate still stared at him, Max sighed “Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped, I just wanted to help her –and you, of course.” he quickly added.

Nate smirked, as he finally averted his gaze. “Let’s say, you were just trying to help. That’s nice of you, really.” he finally responded, easing Max’s mind just slightly. “But you gotta understand, that it’s really suspicious, when my girlfriend meets up with another guy behind my back, no?”

Max quickly nodded in response “Yeah, of course.. that’s totally valid.” Nate nodded as well before continuing “And you also understand, that I don’t like to share my girlfriend with anyone, and that it’s my job as a man, to make sure everyone knows that, right?”

Max nodded as well “No, yeah, absolutely-” Nate chuckled “I mean, I’m not a fucking pussy. I gotta protect what’s mine.” he interrupted, causing Max to nod again.

Nate sighed, almost in relief, as he put on a smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes “Good, I’ll see you outside then.” he patted his shoulder, like the two just had a friendly conversation and as if Nate didn’t just scare the shit out of Max. He just nervously smiled back at him, as Nate left him behind so he could get dressed in peace.

Once he left the locker room, Max sighed before slumping down on the bench again. He hated how helpless Nate made him feel. And he hated it even more, that you had to end up with a prick like him.

He wanted to tell you what happened, finally warn you about him. But it wasn’t only dangerous, it was also too late. He knew that Nate had his way of swaying girls, and the way you talked about him when you two texted, just confirmed that.

He could only hope, that you’d see his evil side one day, and realize what he’s truly like.

✎ damn, this was intense😓 hope you guys enjoyed it though, and as always let me know what you thought about this part!! ♡

- Cassandra

Taglist:

@lilyrachelcassidy, @endless----love, @sophsss867, @jennnsthings, @digitalpup444, @vividfleur, @tsofo26, @lunalvrsblog, @sunshinedaisy21

#div.creds:fantazzzmita #euphoria #euphoria imagine #jacob elordi imagine #jacob elordi x reader #jacob elordi x y/n #jacob elordi x you #nate euphoria #nate jacobs #nate jacobs imagine #nate jacobs scenario

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audiovideodisco · 8 months ago

Text

I’m sorry I always said the wrong thing.

You have a crush on your Aussie colleague, but have given up on ever being his type, or even someone he respects. People never change, right?

cw: fatphobia, medical talk, negative self image if you squint, mildly suggestive, swearing

word count: 920

requested: no

sfw: yes

ship: robert chase x reader

characteristics: plus sized reader, g/n

You walk into Princeton Plainsboro with a coffee in hand and a face like a slapped bottom. Your patient was a fairly overweight teenager who had a heart problem, but despite the team - unsurprisingly - attempting to attribute the problems to their weight, that wasn’t the case. As a plus sized person, you felt sick coming into work for this case. House was making a point of asking you things that you couldn’t know about the patient - just because you’re fat… and Chase… well, that was the main thing. You knew how he felt about fat people, it was always a personal flaw. He hadn’t said anything awful yet but it reminded you that you’d never be good enough for him.

The case carried on as usual, treatments putting the young teens life in danger over and over, with no hope of a diagnosis, and then cure, in sight. The DDx office was eerily quiet, only the lights in the hall illuminating the table in front of you as you sat at the desk trying to think. After a few minutes of what felt like brooding rather than thinking, you hear footsteps, and then a swoosh of blonde hair enters the office.

“[Y/N]? What are you in here for? Why are you sitting in the dark…?” Chase asked as he came in to rifle through a drawer.

“It’s not dark, the hall light is enough.”

“That’s- are you… are you alright?”

Your head snaps up to see he’s stopped rifling through the drawer and appears to have what he came to look for. Instead of leaving, he’s looking directly at you with a mix of concern and curiosity. Quite frankly, it pisses you off, big time.

“I’m fine, Chase. Trying to think of what’s killing our patient, before they actually die because everyone else is so focused on their weight rather than-“

“Hey- woah- woah-“

You don’t let him continue his protest, taking a breath and composing yourself,

“House wants you to do an EKG.”

“He said that-?”

“Yeah.” He looked at you with his mouth agape for a second, before closing it, nodding and walking out.

The case continues, and eventually House is able to make a connection that saves the teenager’s life. It’s a relief that the case is over, and the teenager is going to be alright, but you can’t shake the horrible feeling in your stomach. The DDx office is empty again, so you go in there just to sort through your paperwork before going home.

“Hey…”

“What the fuck do you want, Chase?”

“Woah… have I done something?”

“Doesn’t matter, just leave me alone.”

He frowns but doesn’t leave, instead coming up behind you slowly and placing his hand gently on your shoulder. You flinch a little so he lifts his hand again, but when you don’t push him away, he puts it back again.

“What’s going on…?” He asks, almost in a whisper.

“Chase-“

“Was it this case? House?”

“I expect it from House, and you to be completely honest…”

He mentally scolds himself and sighs, trying gently guiding you to face him.

“I… I have said so shitty things before, I’ll admit… I didn’t know you knew…”

“What, so it’s okay as long as your one fat friend doesn’t hear it? Well that worked…”

“No- no- I… I was wrong. I’ve been wrong every time, whether just about the diagnosis, or the simple fact of that is none of my business… I’ve been trying to unlearn thinking and speaking like that- I-“

You stare at him a little shocked, his hand still on your shoulder as you now stand only a few inches apart. He looks down slightly at you, seeing the way your eyes glistened from angry tears that threatened to spill. He carries on speaking, his voice now even more hushed and soft,

“Not that I decided that I needed to sort my shit out because I met you- Uh, but… I… I really like you, actually.”

His heart pounds in his chest almost as loudly as yours as he searches your face for any sign of a response.

“I know I probably blew it, but… can I take you out, on, like, a date?”

“Are you serious, or is this-“

“I mean it. You’re…” Your faces are centimetres apart, his breath fanning against your lips as he struggles to finish his sentence, and his other hand finds its way to your waist to pull you closer.

“[Y/N]… I need you to tell me it’s okay to kiss you… I don’t want to cross a line you don’t want me to cross…”

Your chest heaves as you whisper,

“…yes.”

The kiss is tentative at first, Chase’s lips moving slowly to make sure you wanted this as much as he did. As you began to reciprocate with a bit more energy, he picked up the pace, bringing his hand from your shoulder to the nape of your neck, and pulling you as close to him as you could be-

“HEY!”

The loud shout makes you both pull apart, hands still on eachother, his hand threaded in your hair and yours in his chest. You look around you as you both try to catch you breaths, cringing when you lay your eyes on House.

“IF YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE. ALSO- FUCK YOU. I OWE WILSON $50 NOW…”

House storms off, his cane tapping alongside his footsteps, and you both giggle as the tension fades.

#house md #james wilson #gregory house #hatecrimes md #greg house #robert chase #dr chase #robert chase x reader #chase x reader #plus sized reader #house md fanfiction

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middlingmay · 2 months ago

Note

Idk what your feelings are on cheating in fic so if you’re not okay with that that’s totally fine but do you have any scenarios you could share about Marge (or maybe John’s wife) catching John and Gale in the act? Like how that would all go down and how and where she would find them and what position they’d be in, etc. And maybe her reaction wouldn’t be as negative as one would imagine? Or she comes around to it once she’s given time to think on it and she’s okay with letting Gale go OR she asks to be allowed to sit in an watch or something and touch and kiss and praise Gale while John is making love to him? I’ve also had an thought of Marge catching Gale having phone sex with John over the phone…

Idk these are just some vague scenarios that I have and was wondering if you’d ever thought of any similar and could elaborate or build off of it 😘

Hello hello!

Okay, so, I appreciate the flexibility of your ask 😅 I'm not big on cheating fics, but it definitely depends on how it's handled. So, I'd definitely lean towards Marge being okay with it in the end <3

There are a few very good fics that touch on Marge catching the Buckies in the act. There's obviously Close and Yet Closer, where John visits the Clevens, and he and Gale cheat on Marge a lot. It's emotional and passionate and painful, and I think it's pretty highly recommended across the fandom.

BUT. If I had to write a cheating fic, i think it would go along these kinds of lines:

John is visiting, like almost a year after the wedding because both he and Gale are aware of their feelings for each other, and know they have no place in Gale and Marge's marriage. But they can only stay away from each other for so long, genuinely struggle without each other, and eventually give in.

Marge is thrilled. Sees the difference in Gale immediately and John is a very entertaining house guest. Except there are these tense moments that she puts down to shared memories of over in Europe.

However, she wakes one night to an empty bed and goes searching for Gale. She sees the door to John's bedroom open and sneaks up to peek inside. And she sees them.

It's not a sweet peck or gentle embrace. Gale is in John's lap and John is holding him so tight it has to hurt, and they kiss like they're purging something, furious and angry and hurting.

Marge heads back to bed in a daze. Pretends to be asleep when Gale returns. She spends the next few days thinking about what she saw. There is hurt, but it takes her a while to realise it's not because Gale kissed John: it's because he didn't tell her about his feelings for the other man. They promised honesty and communication even-especially-when it was hardest, and at the first hurdle it feels like Gale let her down.

It's awful at home, because John and Gale won't look at each other, won't look at her, and she has no idea what to do but she has to do something because she can't take it anymore.

So she confronts them. Gale is instantly apologetic, begging her for another chance. But John? John doesn't say anything. Gets up from the chair, heads up stairs and doesn't come down for several minutes. When he does he has his suitcase in his hand.

And despite just begging Marge for forgiveness, Gale's face crumples when he sees it, and John looks a him sorrier than she's ever seen anything.

John just whispers a very quiet "I'm sorry" before he walks out the door.

And Marge is stuck still for a minute because she doesn't know what else to do. Doesn't know how to tell her husband that she wishes he had just talked to her, and doesn't know how to explain it to herself why she's not angrier about everything.

But then the door snaps shut she snaps out of it and rushes out the door after John. He's got long legs but he's not rushing so she catches up and grabs the edge of his suitcase and holds on to stop him from going anywhere. He tries to take it back and they end up it a tug-of-war until John can't take it.

"Jesus, Marge! I'm trying to do the right thing here! Let go!"

"Like hell!" And she tears the suitcase out his hand and rushes back inside with it, so John has no choice but to follow.

When Gale sees them come back inside, he looks equal parts miserable and hopeful and Marge throws down John's suitcase and finally erupts, points the finger at both of them, saying things like, "Why didn't you tell me?!", and "You're supposed to be my friend. You're my husband - and you lied!"

They stand there and take it, but neither of them are getting the fact that it was keeping her in the dark that's upset her so badly. So she changes track. Holds Gale's hand and says,

"You trust me or you don't. Which is it?"

He trusts her. More than anyone; more than himself.

So she kisses him and hears John's breath hitch on something sad sounding, and then she turns to him, takes his hand and leans up and kisses him too.

She admits to them then and there, she doesn't know what this is, or how she feels, or how anything is supposed to work, but if they want to be together, all they needed to do was be honest with her. The rest they can figure out.

And that's as far as I can think today! Thanks for sending in the ask 😊

#cleganmarge #clegan #buck x bucky #mota ot3 #asks #ask me anything

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haniette · 2 years ago

Text

(in)visible.

pairing | yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

genre | fluff, angst, college au, hidden relationship au, non-idol au, comfort

word count | 7k

warnings | use of pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart), kissing, slight harrasment, mention of abusive behavior, alcohol consumption, jealousy, swearing, soft but also sometimes possesive jeonghan 😩 big angst bro-, THE SAINT LAURENT JEONGHAN???? (on my knees fr)

summary: he decided to give you time, to let you feel comfortable with him and everything else. but you don’t want and need it anymore. you want to be visible. you want the two of you to be visible to the others. that you’re his and he’s yours.

a/n: oh my god.. my writer's block really hit me hard like a truck 😭 i’m so sorry for not posting anything for past few months.. </3 however ! here’s the small gift for you guys <3 hope u enjoy !

(i have already planned new jeonghan fanfiction and i’m SO proud of myself, watch me get the writer’s block again and post it after months again LMAOO)

i got you, you got me,

when it's us, babe,

you make me feel complete.

you're all i need.

Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?

That was the question which was asked probably the most past days on your campus.

You could hear it everywhere. People were gossiping about in the hallways, in the bathroom, in the cafteria and even during the lectures, trying to get to the truth.

Is he single or not?

This whole situation began when someone from the campus took a photo of him, hanging out with a girl and holding her hand with a big smile on his lips. The face of the mysterious girl wasn’t shown in the picture, which is why they were wondering who it might be and if she’s his girlfriend.

Jeonghan was a 3rd year student and as far as everyone had known, he was staying single for a long time already. But now, nothing was sure.

People had mixed opinions on it. Some were happy for him that he found somebody to love, some were just really confused while not wanting to believe it's true, and the last group was really negative about it (thinking they even had a chance with Jeonghan, pfft).

However, it was obvious that everyone wanted to know the truth.

Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?

However, only two people knew the answer to it.

Yoon Jeonghan himself, and you.

Jeonghan came out from the lecture class with his black messenger bag overhanged across his chest while being deeply immersed in his phone, when Seungkwan, campus’ sweet boy, joined him by his side.

“Hello Jeonghan!” he started enthusiastically, “How’s your day? Are you okay?” the boy blinked a few times and sent him a cute smile, while taking a sip of his beloved iced americano.

Jeonghan frowned, looking at him quite suspiciously.

“Hi,” he mumbled, letting out a sheepish chuckle, “Yea, I’m fine. Just finished my schedule, and I’m a bit tired. And you?” Jeonghan asked, continuing the conversation as the two of them slowly walked towards the entrance of the campus.

“Uhh.. I still have one lecture left, so I need to stay.” Seungkwan pouted, making the other boy smile, “Are you meeting someone? Or going home by yourself?” the sunshine boy asked, making Jeonghan stop mid-step, crossing his arms over his chest.

He looked at the younger boy with an amused expression as he snickered, “Seungkwanie, come on. Don’t tell me you’re also into this whole gossip trend on our campus.”

“Oh, hyung! But is that true? Are you seriously in a relationship?” Seungkwan questioned, tilting his head to the side, while wishing to get the answer everyone wanted to know. “Please! I won’t tell anyone.” he pouted.

Jeonghan let out a quiet snort, while looking to the side as he was kind of getting tired after hearing another person ask him that question.

Why was everyone suddenly so curious about it?

“I’m sorry Kwannie, but I won't tell you. Nice try though.” Jeonghan muttered, fixing his bag on his side, “See you tomorrow.”

Then, he turned around and walked out, leaving the younger boy and all of the gossip behind him in that building.

December's cold, evening breeze hit Jeonghan’s face, finally letting him breathe out in relief. The boy placed the hood over his head, tugging his hands into the pockets of his big hoodie.

He did it. He survived another day without getting caught.

Gosh.. it was so hard for him not to react every time he passed next to you in the hallways. To not stare at your beautiful face for too long, to not send you a soft smile, to not yield his food to you at the cafeteria or just hold your hand. He wanted to do it so badly, and many times he caught himself almost doing it.

But at the same time, Jeonghan was aware that even the smallest thing that could have been taken as ‘more than close friends’, might have caused suspicions from your or his friends. Which you two wanted to avoid at all cost. At least for now.

Your relationship had to stay invisible to people around you.

Even though the boy didn’t like that idea at first, after some time you two agreed that for now you won’t show your relationship in public, especially in college.

Jeonghan decided to give you time to get comfortable as it was your first relationship after being in a really harmful and traumatic one in the senior class at highschool. Your ex was a very cute and nice guy at the beggining who later turned into being really abusive towards you, especially verbally. And when you revealed at the beggining, that you two are dating, a lot of people abandoned you, leaving you behind with the problem that after a while you were forced to deal with all alone.

That’s mostly why you weren’t sure if you wanted to reveal your new relationship. And it’s not that you didn’t trust Jeonghan, because you did. You trusted him as no one else. But because of your past, you were not certain if you could go through that all over again.

Jeonghan couldn’t wait to finally see you, after this long and tiring day. He really wanted to hug you close and tell you how good you looked today. Because he missed you. Your voice, your smile, your smell, your warmth and your touch. He missed every single thing about you, and he hasn't interacted with you for only around 6 hours (not counting all of the texts that the two of you shared today).

Rushing towards your apartment with a bag of takeout food that he bought on the way, Jeonghan was already thinking what you two could do tonight. But the truth was that even if you two laid in your bed, cuddling, he was okay with it. Because what mattered to him was spending his time with you. Not the activity you did.

Right after only one ring to the door, you opened it with a tired smile visible on your face. You were already dressed in your kuromi pyjamas (to which Jeonghan had a matching, ‘my melody’ one), wearing fluffy socks.

Your boyfriend giggled, excited about seeing you and finally having you for himself only.

“Hi.” he said gently, with a bright smile shining on his face.

“Hi.” you replied softly, while connecting your hand with his, taking him into your apartment, and closing your door right behind him.

“I brought food!~" the boy cheered, taking his shoes off by his heels. You couldn’t help but melt, and a bright smile appeared on your lips.

The boy swung the bag in the air with a big smile, and you approached him, slowly kissing his cheek while thanking him sincerely. Then, he quickly placed the bag on the floor and wrapped his hands around your waist, hugging you tightly to his body.

Jeonghan laid his forehead on your shoulder, “I’m tired.” he murmured, closing his eyes while sighing, “I need to recharge.”

A smile creeped onto your lips as you slowly started to play with Jeonghan’s hair, him still being close to you.

“Don’t worry, baby. We have time.” you smiled, caressing his head. You let him ‘recharge’ as the boy didn’t move away from you for even a second.

“You’re doing a great job, Hannie.” finally, you broke the silence, feeling how he snuggled closer into the crook of your neck. The scent of your body has always had a calming effect on Jeonghan, and it wasn’t different now.

“I can’t believe that acting like a stranger with my girlfriend might be that tiring.” he murmured into your skin, immediately catching you off guard.

Your face saddened in the split of the second, with the feeling of guilt starting to take over you.

“Hannie-”

“No, it’s okay.” the boy looked up at you, with his shining, full of understanding eyes, “We both agreed on it after all. And I want you to feel comfortable when you’re with me. So I won’t pressure you into doing things you’re not okay with.” he added, and gently cupped your face with his hands, admiring your features.

“I’m sorry..” you mumbled, feeling the lump in your throat, “I’m sorry that because of me you have to pretend something you don’t want to, but.. please, believe me that I’m really.. really trying to somehow overcome this-”

Jeonghan quickly placed his lips on top of yours, connecting you in a gentle kiss, while stopping you from speaking more. At first your whole body stiffened, not expecting this. But the feeling of Jeonghan’s soft lips on top of yours started to overwhelm you, making you crave for more of him.

However, before you could even react and reciprocate his sweet action, Jeonghan already moved away from you, sending you a reassuring smile.

“Let’s eat, darling. I’m sure you’re hungry.” the boy suggested, and took the bag from the floor, making his way to your kitchen.

“And then I need to put my baby to sleep.” Jeonghan giggled, to which you quickly responded with a scoff, “I’m not a baby anymore.” you muttered, but the smirk was still present on your lips.

You quickly followed right after him, sitting by the kitchen island as you silently watched him take out the containers with food.

But the slight feeling of guilt hasn’t left you at all, making you stay up at night, tossing around in the bed, overthinking everything, while being tightly hugged from the back by Jeonghan.

Should you finally become visible to people?

Or should you let things stay as they’re now?

“So..” Millie — your best friend, started and you looked at her suspiciously.

The two of you were coming back from the nearest coffee shop after buying a coffee to go for yourselves. This small break was good for you as you still had this one lecture to survive.

“So?”

“I met a guy.” she said while covering her face as she already knew how you’re going to react.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes whilw tilting your head to the side. “Millie, I swear to god..”

“But listen!” she interrupted, “He’s actually really nice and he cares for the others a lot! He’s the greatest gentleman I know! And you won’t believe me, but he’s actually close friends with Yoon Jeonghan.” after hearing that name, your eyes immediately widened.

You choked on your drink, immediately starting to cough, “Ooh..” you started trying to stabilize your voice, “What’s his name?” you asked, quickly realizing that you sounded too interested about that.

Even though you remembered a few of Jeonghan’s friends as he was sometimes going out or just talking about them with you, you were really curious which one stole Millie’s heart.

She grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly, “Hong Joshua! Can you believe he’s also half american half korean? Just like me!” the girl exclaimed while grinning.

“Yeah, I’m happy for you-” you mumbled while trying to get off her hand, that was slowly starting to make your palm feel numb.

“I think we can even go and meet him now! Joshie said he’ll wait for me by the entrance.” Millie giggled just at the thought of the boy, and already started walking faster, leaving you behind.

You looked at her with some pity written on your face as you shook your head and followed her steps.

A few minutes later, the two of you were already standing by the entrance, waiting for Joshua to join you. On the way, Millie already told you that you’ll have this lecture together.

“He texted me he’ll be here any second!” Millie cheered, showing you the text that he sent her a few seconds ago. And as Joshua said, several seconds later, you two noticed him going towards you. However, he wasn’t alone.

Yoon Jeonghan, who was smiling brightly while listening to Joshua, accompanied him. It made your breath immediately hitch in your lungs.

Oh shit. You haven’t thought about the fact that he might actually come right now with Joshua.

“Hi Joshie!” Millie shouted enthusiastically, waving to the boy to get his attention. As soon as Joshua noticed Millie, his face brightened up as his eyes turned into two small crescents and a cute smile adorned his lips.

But you had your eyes stuck on him. And so did he, with a slight smirk that creeped onto his lips.

“Hi y/n! Millie talked a lot about you, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Joshua greeted you, sending you one of his charming smiles to which you smiled back.

“This is my friend, Jeonghan.” he added, making you move your gaze at the mentioned boy, only to find him already staring at you.

There was a short silence before you decided to make the move.

“Hi.” you finally uttered, smiling gently.

“Hi.” Jeonghan replied, the same way as he had always greeted you.

It was your small tradition that only you two understood. Each of the smallest ‘hi’ you said, also meant ‘i missed you’ or ‘i love you’ at the same time.

“Oh, right, I almost forgot to tell you!” Millie said suddenly, making you twitch.

“Today, together with some other people from campus, we’re going to a barbeque restaurant! If you want to, you can join us. I think it’s going to be more fun and less uncomfortable if you’ll be there.” the girl remarked, and sent you a pleading look.

You looked at Jeonghan, searching for an answer on his face and he silently nodded, “Yeah, I can join you guys. And y/n too.” the boy answered, and shifted his eyes back to you.

“Perfect!” the girl cheered while hugging Joshua’s arm, “Then we see each other tonight at 6PM! I’ll send you the localisation later. But now let’s get going, the lecture is about to start!” she added, and then Millie pulled Joshua to the lecture hall, leaving you two behind.

“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked, worried by the absent look in your eyes.

You smiled briefly, “Yeah.. I’m just a bit tired. I just need to survive this one last hour. But now let’s go, we don’t want them to get suspicious, do we?” sending a small wink to Jeonghan, you quickly followed your best friend’s steps to the hall, with Jeonghan going right behind you, not being able to hide the smirk on his lips.

When you sat down in the hall room, several students were already there. Millie sat next to Joshua, and Jeonghan decided that you'll sit in the row behind them.

As soon as the lecture started, you placed your arms on the desk and laid down. The feeling of tiredness after not getting enough sleep tonight was taking over you, making it really hard for you to survive this day.

However, it didn’t go unnoticed by Jeonghan that you looked exhausted. Gently, he removed your hair that got in the way, and stroked your back.

He leaned closer and whispered, “How about you rest a bit, hm? I’ll take the needed notes for us, so you don’t have to worry.”

You smiled gently, melting inside from the softness and care that the boy treated you with. Nodding softly, you whispered a small ‘thank you’ to Jeonghan.

Opening your eyes one last time, you saw Jeonghan’s focused face. He was playing with the pen in his hand as he always had to have something in his hand.

As you shifted your gaze to Millie, you immediately noticed that compared to your boyfriend, the girl wasn’t paying attention to the lecture at all. She probably wasn’t even planning on doing it, because Millie was busy studying the boy next to her. Smiling weakly at the mere sight, you closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

Little did you know, Jeonghan also decided to follow Millie’s steps after some time.

“Hi angel, are you ready?”

Jeonghan peeked into your room as you were finishing getting ready for the night out. You looked up at him in the mirror, and the boy smoothly came closer to you with a smirk playing on his lips. He bent down to be on your eye level, and looked at you from the back by the mirror. The scent of his freshly applied perfume and shower gel hit your nose, showing that he just finished getting ready.

You two came back from the college around two hours ago. At the end of the lecture, the boy patted your arm gently, whispering your name to wake you up. He caught himself smiling at the sight of your sleeping figure, but quickly scolded himself for it, remembering that he has to take notes and act completely unaffected by you.

Not going to lie, it quickly became a big challenge for him.

The boy was wearing a black silk shirt with a deep neckline, paired with black loose pants. His hair was freshly styled, with his bangs resting right over his eyes. He looked incredibly attractive at that moment, making you rethink about how it is even possible that a man and an angel like him is actually your boyfriend.

You, on the other hand, did natural make-up, and wore a black dress that hugged your body perfectly, reaching around your calves area, with a deep cut that reached right above your knee. Your hair was left loose, and with a delicate gold necklace that Jeonghan gifted you on your birthday, your whole look was finished.

It was indeed intentional to choose an outfit that would match Jeonghan’s, and vice versa (but not too obvious). However, the more you thought about it, the more you were starting to doubt if you should go with that dress. Of course you wanted to look elegant and step out of your comfort zone a bit, but you quickly started to think if it was really worth it.

And just as if your boyfriend heard your thoughts, he whispered into your ear, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Jeonghan left a sweet peck on your cheek, “You don’t have to feel unsafe or uncomfortable. I promise I’ll be there to protect you everytime, at any cost.” he added, solving all of the problems that you could have been thinking at that moment.

The boy moved away a bit, finally allowing you to let out the breath that you didn’t even realize you’ve been holding the whole time. The scent of him was always really strong and just being by his side, you thought that you might go insane by any second.

Soon later, the two of you finally left your apartment, and sat comfortably in Jeonghan’s car that he parked in front of your house. Your way to the restaurant went actually really comfortably, and even when you didn’t say much, Jeonghan tightly held his hand intertwined with yours, whispering from time to time compliments to you.

When you entered the restaurant, Millie, Joshua and some other people that you didn’t really know were already sitting by the table. As soon as your best friend noticed you, she yelled your name and waved to you. The two of you joined the group, and you sat down next to Millie and a guy that you didn’t know. Jeonghan sat on the other side of the table, next to Joshua, and a girl who was really known in your college, Siyeon.

“I’m glad you guys actually made it!” Joshua cheered, and you smiled at him.

“Why did you two come together?” Siyeon asked, “Are you two dating or something?” she added, gaining everyone’s attention as everyone heard about the gossip.

She always knew how to get people to look at her. Siyeon was not only called the goddess of the campus, but also she made it with her attitude. And even now, she successfully gained everyone’s gaze by looking at her and at you two, while smirking lazily.

Her question made you immediately start to panic inside, but you were trying to not show it that much on the outside. Not knowing how to respond, you looked at Jeonghan, frightened. The boy immediately read from your facial expression what’s happening, and he decided to take action.

The boy laughed out loud, “Oh come on, guys! Does really everything have to be about dating? I just gave y/n a ride because it’s dark already, and she lives near me.”

Smooth.

Jeonghan looked at you, and sent you an apologetic look, “We’re just friends. We’re not in a relationship, guys.” he added, making the others start joking and laughing because of this situation.

Oh.

Even though you knew that the boy did it to protect you, and your relationship, you still felt that stinging pain in your heart.

But actually, what did you expect? Jeonghan did what he had to do to keep your relationship a secret. Something that you two agreed to do, especially because of you.

So why did you feel that way? Maybe.. just maybe, you deeply hoped that he would admit it, and say that you’re his girlfriend.

“Hey, you okay?” you heard Millie’s whisper by your ear, bringing you back from your thoughts.

You nodded, chuckling from embarrassment, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” she stroked your arm gently while sending you a reassuring smile, and you sent her a small smile, reaching for your glass of water to take a sip.

When all of you ordered, and the food together with alcohol was finally brought, your group started to eat, while telling stories, joking around, and slowly getting more drunk.

You weren’t really a fan of drinking as you had a light head, so you were always the responsible one for Millie as she always wanted to drink. But even now, when she had Joshua by her side, you still decided not to drink.

Jeonghan always reminded and assured you, that you shouldn’t worry about not drinking anymore. He insisted, that if you’d want to have some fun with friends then you shouldn’t stop yourself, because he’ll be there to protect you and take you home afterwards. But even when you knew he truly meant it, you still decided to stick by your glass of water.

Millie was already clinging to Joshua, already getting tipsy from the drinks she drank. People were laughing loudly at something and you were sitting silently, listening while finishing your portion of tteokbokki that you decided to have. A few minutes later, Jeonghan excused himself by the need to go to the toilet.

As soon as he disappeared by the corner, the boy next to you named Changmin, who also drank a few bottles of soju after the challenges the boys from your college made, turned around and suddenly shouted, “Oh y/n!” what made you immediately look at him, not knowing what was happening.

Then, the boy leaned closer to you, making you widen your eyes and he clumsily sweeped some of the sauce with his thumb, that was in the corner of your lips.

Unfortunately, while being already tipsy from the alcohol, he made even a bigger mess on your face as he not only smeared the sauce to your chin but also some of your lipstick.

“Oops!” he laughed goofily, and some of the boys that were there started to laugh with him.

You just hoped that someone would somehow help you. But Millie was already passed out on the chair, with Joshua being concerned about her. Other girls, including Siyeon, were busy gossiping and drinking more soju. So you were left alone with this situation.

Quickly, you reached for the napkin that was near your bowl, and turned slightly to the side, gently removing the sauce and leftovers from your lipstick. You felt embarrassed because of what happened, just as if that boy fully meant to do it.

But it wasn’t funny to you at all.

Changmin looked at you one more time before smacking your thigh with his palm and squeezing it slightly. You widened your eyes as you were flabbergasted what just happened. And in the split of the second, you pushed his hand away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you asked angrily, as you immediately felt uncomfortable but also pissed by the boy’s sudden action.

“Aww, poor baby is not in the mood,” he chuckled and reached for his chopsticks to take another piece of the tteokbokki from your plate and put it in front of your mouth.

“We need to feed the baby, say aaaaah~”

You hit his hand away once again, and the boys around started to laugh even more, making you feel ashamed. The tears from helpless frustration started to sting your eyes, but you strongly resisted to open your mouth and eat the tteokbokki that Changmin put in front of you once again.

“Come on, y/n! Say a-”

“I’m sure y/n is not hungry anymore.”

You heard a voice from behind you, and the person quickly pushed Changmin’s arm away. You looked up, seeing Jeonghan’s serious face behind you. He took a quick glance at you, immediately noticing the tears that swelled in your eyes.

Your boyfriend grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, the chair squeaking by the sudden drag.

“Oh come one, dude!” one of the boys shouted, but he was totally ignored by Jeonghan.

He quickly hid your fragile body behind his silhouette, looking into your eyes which glistened with tears.

Jeonghan cupped your cheeks with his hands, “Talk to me, angel. Did he hurt you?” he whispered gently, looking at you intensively.

You didn’t respond to him, tears glistening in your eyes.

The boy cursed under his breath, quickly focusing on you once again, “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry angel that I left you here alone..” he whispered, gently kissing your forehead, “I’ll take you home now.”

“Jeonghan, dude! Your friend is so damn pretty,” Changmin yelled, lazily getting up from the chair, stumbling over his own legs, “Can I have her number? You know that I like girls like her, especially in bed.”

You could see how Jeonghan’s face immediately darkened, and he let out a loud scoff after hearing the boy’s question. He took a deep breath and grasped your hand.

“Okay, then I’ll text you later!” Changmin shouted.

Not even glancing back anymore you two left the restaurant, immediately getting into Jeonghan’s car.

This time, the silence was really uncomfortable, compared to the time you drove here. The atmosphere between you not knowing why thickened.

During the whole way home, Jeonghan was silent. He focused on the road, still holding your hand, and only taking small glances at you from time to time. There were a few times when you wanted to say something, but as your mouth opened, nothing came out. You thought as if you’re going to explode from the nervousness you felt at that moment.

When you finally reached your apartment, you walked into it silently, taking off your coats and shoes.

You knew that the boy was trying to give you some time and space, but as you’ve already known Jeonghan well, you knew that something was bothering him as well.

The boy muttered something about getting a glass of water for himself, and you, feeling guilty about everything that had happened, decided to follow him to the kitchen like a puppy.

He took a glass for himself and also for you, and poured some water for you to drink before drinking from his glass. But you had other plans than drinking that stupid water.

You knew it was finally the time to destroy the wall between the two of you.

“Jeonghan-” you said, but in the blink of an eye his glass hit the hard surface of your kitchen island and he scooped you up, placing you on the countertop.

Jeonghan’s arms rested by the two of your sides, securing you, as he stood between your legs. He was silent, with his head lowered.

Your heart was beating like crazy and your breathing sped up. You had no idea what you should do in this situation.

“It’s so.. fucking frustrating.” the boy hissed, still not looking at you. You decided to give him time and you waited for him patiently.

Finally, after a while the boy raised his head, looking straight into your eyes. As he was slightly bent down, his eyes were on the same level as your, dangerously close to your face.

“It’s so fucking frustrating, that people can’t see that we are together. That you can’t call me yours, and I can’t call you mine. That I have to tell everyone that we’re just friends. That we can’t have any, even the smallest interactions..” he stopped for a second, being completely drowned in your eyes.

“Please.. y/n.” Jeonghan sighed painfully, “Can’t you see how hard I’m trying? Just give.. us a chance. I will show you that we can be together in the public, and that we can survive by being by each other’s side. Because I love you, y/n.”

And for the first time in your life, you saw Jeonghan's eyes fill with tears, making it really hard for you to also not tear up.

“A-and..” he stuttered, as his voice slowly started to break.

“Recently I’m not even sure anymore if you still love me the same way as I do.”

Ouch.

Just one sentence. Small like a needle, but painful like a knife.

You immediately cupped Jeonghan’s face, wiping his tears away with your thumb. The boy had stuck his eyes still to yours, desperately looking for an answer.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so so.. sorry, that I made you feel that way..” you uttered, “I was blind, mainly following my feelings and needs, while not focusing enough on yours, which you also had.” you stopped for a second, taking a big breath to not let your voice break.

“You’ve always been so patient with me, always honest and so soft with the way you treated me.. You protected me, and was with me when I needed you the most. And I..” your voice broke, and you let out a shaky sigh.

“I gave you nothing back but rules. I feel so stupid because of that..” your eyes shone with the tears that you couldn’t hold in anymore. Jeonghan was listening to you silently, with his eyes still watery, but now you could find hope in it.

“I’m so sorry, Hannie..” you whispered as you brought the boy closer, crossing your hands over his shoulders. He snuggled into the crook of your neck, while holding your waist tightly, and inhaling your scent.

You stayed in this position for a few good minutes, before you finally pulled away, resting your foreheads over yourselves. You had your eyes stuck on Jeonghan’s shining ones, and he had on yours. And at that point, when you were staring at your boyfriend, you'd made up your mind.

You were ready.

“Hannie..” you uttered.

The boy sent you a soft smile, “Yes, angel?” he murmured.

“I want us to be visible. I don’t want us to hide anymore.” you decided, immediately noticing how much you caught Jeonghan off guard by your sudden statement.

On the spur of the moment and Jeonghan’s confusion, you leaned down and placed your lips on top of his, connecting you in a soft kiss.

At first, Jeonghan didn’t react to your action. But then he melted into the kiss, turning it into a passionate and hungry kiss. He quickly cupped your cheeks with one of his hands, holding your face gently while not allowing you to pull away with his other hand that rested on your waist.

You ran your hands through his soft, dark hair. The boy lifted your body from the kitchen island, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as the boy made his way to your bedroom.

Yeah.

You were sure that you wanted to make you two visible.

The sound of the messages blowing up your phone has been ringing for the past 15 minutes, echoing in your room. Irritated by another incoming call, you finally woke up, and it turned out that it was Millie, the same as all of the messages.

You answered the call and put it on the speaker, placing your phone next to your pillow as you layed back on the bed.

“Millie.. I swear to god, if it’s something unimportant and you woke me up on the day when the lectures start later-”

“Wait y/n! Have you checked my messages?” Millie’s loud voice made you squeeze your eyes from the loudness, as you were still half asleep.

A sigh left your mouth, “Girl be for real. You just woke me up, how could I check your messages?” you muttered while rubbing your eyes.

“Then check it! I think you need to see it!” Millie shouted, and lazily, you took your phone, unlocking it and going straight to messages.

Millie sent you a screenshot with an Instagram post, uploaded by Siyeon. She took a selfie with Jeonghan, who sat next to her (probably not even knowing she was taking photos).

You immediately noticed that this photo was taken at the meeting that you attended a few days ago. Siyeon was wearing the same, short burgundy dress she wore that day, and Jeonghan had the same black shirt on.

But the most disturbing thing was the description she wrote under the post.

Liked by shushu_a and 16 134 others

SolLaSiyeon: finally breaking the radio silence 😘

“Can you believe that Lim Siyeon is in a relationship with Yoon Jeonghan?!” Millie squealed on the other side, and she started talking about something, but her voice began to gradually mute. You didn’t respond, being completely stunned by what you just saw.

“Wait. How do you know they’re together?” you asked, wanting to deny Millie’s assumption, “She didn’t say anything about it.”

“Oh y/n.. the title holds the whole meaning!” your best friend was quick to answer you, “She breaks the radio silence while posting a photo with Yoon Jeonghan. And in the description she writes ‘breaking the radio silence’ which refers to the gossip about Jeonghan’s girlfriend!”

Now it actually made sense, what made you feel even more terrified.

That one scene kept playing in your mind.

“Why did you two come together? Are you two dating or something?”

The girl was planning it from the beginning, making sure that her plan would work out.

Your best friend was still talking about something, but you didn’t really have the time to listen about how Joshua did this and that, so unfortunately you had to cut her off, “Sorry, Millie, but I really have to go. I’ll see you at the lectures later.” and you hung up, quickly getting up from the bed to get ready.

You couldn’t just leave it like that, you had to do something.

But what exactly..?

Your heart was racing and you felt like throwing up. You were waiting by one of the lecture halls, pacing back and forth while trying to calm yourself down. From what you’ve heard from some people on the campus, Siyeon was supposed to finish her lecture now, making it easier for you to catch her and talk with her.

And just as you were coming by the door again, it opened widely and people started to flood out of the room. You waited, standing on the side by the wall, while nervously biting your lower lip. You kept observing when the girl would come out from the lecture hall.

Finally, after some seconds you noticed the familiar face, immediately feeling how your insides start to roll from the stress. Siyeon was talking with one of her friends, not even sparing one glance at you, being deeply immersed in her conversation.

You took one deep breath before following them, and finally calling Siyeon’s name. The girl stopped her movements and turned around to face you, immediately putting the fake ‘shit i have to look friendly’ smile on her face.

“Hi y/n, what’s up?” she asked, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could. You gulped, feeling how hot your whole body started to feel.

“Hi,” you mumbled, “Could I ask you a favor?” the girl looked at you questioningly.

“Could you delete the post with Jeonghan that you recently posted?”

Siyeon’s eyes grew bigger as her smile turned into a grimace. “Huh why? Is something wrong with that, sweetie?”

“I don’t want you to create confusion and another round of gossip about my boyfriend.”

There you go. You finally said that.

However, the girl pressed her lips tightly, and looked at her friend, bursting out laughing. The wave of coldness ran through your body. That wasn’t something you expected.

“Okay, o-okay,” Siyeon stuttered, trying to calm down from laughing, “You got us. That was a nice one, y/n. Now if you excuse us-”

“I’m not finished.”

Suddenly, your hand gripped onto her wrist, stopping her mid-step from walking away. Siyeon glanced at your hand that was tightened around her forearm. She rolled her eyes, letting out a scoff as she turned around to face you.

Then you finally noticed how people started to circle you, observing what’s happening, some even recording. Your mouth immediately felt dry but you knew you couldn’t give up now.

“I don’t want you to post any more photos that include my boyfriend, while trying to make an impression as if he is your boyfriend. Yes! We might have been secret about our relationship, but it’s not as if we didn’t have the right to. It’s actually none of anyone’s business who Jeonghan is dating, because it shouldn’t be anyone’s main concern. But, when you post a photo with a description that says ‘breaking the radio silence’ as if you’re proposing to everyone, that you two are dating, then nothing else is left for me than to finally reveal the main secret, that everyone has been dying to find out the truth.” you smirked, while letting out a quiet snark.

“Yoon Jeonghan is dating me. I am his girlfriend, and Jeonghan is mine.”

Everyone and everything around you fell silent. The only thing you could hear at that moment was your rapidly beating heart, and your own breathing.

After some seconds, you finally looked at Siyeon, only to find she wasn’t looking at you. The girl had her eyes set on something behind your figure. You frowned, and slowly turned around.

At that moment, you felt as if your heart dropped. Your whole body froze, the feeling of embarrassment and shame striking you right at that specific moment.

Because no one else than Yoon Jeonghan himself was standing a few meters from you, in front of the whole crowd. He had his hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans, head tilted a little to the side while a proud smirk was stuck to his lips.

When Siyeon finally came out of her daze, she hit your stiff figure with her shoulder as she ran up to Jeonghan, pouting. “Jeonghanie! Did you hear what that crazy chick was saying? Isn’t she stupid? How could she even say such insane things! You’re not her boyfrie-”

“Oh, but I am.” he cut her off, with that lazy smirk he always loved to wear.

If your speech made an impact on people who stood around you, Jeonghan’s approval surely caught the whole crowd off guard. Everyone started to whisper, gossip and murmur about something.

“W-what?” Siyeon’s lips started to tremble, “But oppa..” she whined, trying to argue with him, but Jeonghan simply ignored her.

He slowly approached your shaking figure, sending you a warm grin. Gently, he took your hand and connected it with his, intertwining your fingers. The boy left a butterfly kiss on your knuckles, immediately getting sounds of adorations and approval from around.

Your eyes met his, and the boy whispered, “Trust me.”

Jeonghan slowly walked out of the crowd, pulling you out from that corridor. The two of you left the building silently, and finally when you were in the campus’ park, you had to break the silence.

“Hannie..” you removed your hand from his, gaining a questioning look from your boyfriend, “Listen, I’m sorry.. I know I should have stopped myself from doing it, from getting jealous, from confronting Siyeon, and from letting out the secret, but believe me I didn’t do it on purpose.. I-I.. ah..” you stuttered, being lost in your words, “I couldn’t just leave it like that when everyone started to gossip about you being in a relationship with her and-”

“y/n, stop.” Jeonghan’s firm voice ran through your whole body, shutting you up right away.

The boy chuckled, gently cupping your cheeks with his palms, and looking deeply into your eyes with his shining ones.

“Did you really think I would get mad at you for any of these? Angel.. why would I even do that..? You can’t imagine how happy I felt when you finally gave us a green light. But still, I wanted you specifically to tell us about us and our relationship.” he caressed your cheeks with his knuckles, smiling at your pouting face.

“And that moment when you claimed that you’re my girlfriend and I’m only yours? Damn, sweetheart, that was so hot-”

“Yoon Jeonghan!” he immediately got rewarded with a slap on his shoulder as the boy bursted out laughing at your shyness.

“Okay, I’m sorry!” he giggled, and you finally broke the grimace, sending him a soft smile.

“But seriously, you can’t even believe how happy you just have made me right there.” Jeonghan added, and left a sweet kiss on your forehead before conecting your hands once again.

“Hot chocolate?” he asked charmingly.

“Hot chocolate.” you nodded.

Walking down the main sidewalk of your campus, many people looked at you, and specifically at your intertwined hands. With your cheeks burning red, you took your phone out of your pocket, only to find lots of calls and messages from people from the campus. And one of them was Millie.

Millie:

YOU.

bitch

how dare you not tell me anything!!!! >:(

you have LOTS to tell me

and i won’t let you go

oh nononononooooo

so better prepare yourself

cuz i need to know

every.

single.

detail.

EVERYTHINGGGGGG

As you think of it now, while laying peacefully in your bed and having Jeonghan snuggled into the crook of your neck, even if you liked the way you two functioned while being ‘invisible’, you had to agree.

Being visible with Jeonghan was much better.

reuploads and likes are highly appriciated ♡

#it took me so long #oh my godddd #im sorry #writer’s block hits hard #but jeonghan is making me go insane #and i wish i was joking #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #jeonghan fanfic #seventeen #seventeen imagines #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #yoon jeonghan imagines #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan angst #angst #fluff #jeonghan fluff

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lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 1 [IKYLHT]

~3.5k Words | Series Masterlist | Prev: 141 & Rabbit Headcanons | Next Chapter

Ghost’s initial impression of you was not necessarily a fond one.

Admittedly, he was pushing down a scoff long before the humvee even entered the far side of the compound.

So when Shepherd’s slow drawl crackled over the comms, he resigned himself to letting his frustration fester deep under his skin.

“Marines are loading in now. You and the Sergeants are leading the way on this.”

“The Sergeants?”

“Sergeant ‘Soap’ MacTavish, Gunnery Sergeant ‘Rabbit”

He held back a groan.

Not these two.

Now Ghost hadn’t minded Soap’s presence in Verdansk, he could hardly remember Johnny if he’s being completely honest. It was years ago, and if you’d told him he worked with over 50 soldiers in that month alone he wouldn't bat an eye.

It was your callsign that had pushed forward the memories of the man- hours of incessant rambling to Price about the mission you’d just come back from, updates about an ankle injury, and just about anything else he could think of. Ghost was almost surprised the Captain contently sat through it all, but he always had been a patient man.

Narrowly avoiding the elbows of your comrades shuffling off the humvee, you spot your superior from your seat next to Johnny, averting your gaze to grab his outstretched hand and drop the small distance to the ground, patting his shoulder with a smile as he turns to the lieutenant.

“Let’s get ourselves a win, yeah, L.t.? Save ya’ a seat, sir.”

Watching the man’s dark eyes brush past Johnny’s shoulder and onto your frame, you give a nod and shout, “Lieutenant, sir!”, before following Soap’s quick steps as he loads onto the heli.

Following you and Johnny’s retreating forms, he sighs out through his nose and feels his eyebrows furrow. You fist-bump each soldier you pass, all smiles and laughs as you say something that gets the soldiers talking.

Fucking hell.

“Ghost- you copy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Any issues?”

“Negative, sir. Out here.”

Buckling yourself in, you watch him walk up the ramp and settle into the seat across from Johnny.

“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant. I serve as this unit’s operations chief, please let me know if there’s anything I can assist you with. I go by Rabbit, sir.”

Ghost swears he feels his blood pressure rising, but stomps it down best he can and huffs a breath under his mask.

He knows it’s irrational- there really is no reason for the irritation your introduction brings him, especially when your job is centered on keeping the unit well-tempered, but he’s tired. Tired of unpacking his duffle only to be called back to base mere hours after returning to the subsidized accommodation he calls home.

He really is a sweet man. Despite his cold exterior and intimidating reputation, he was hardly ever mean with his words. Curt, maybe. Brief, blunt, clipped- all fine words to describe the man but never mean. Enough missions with him- hearing the petnames roll off his tongue when dealing with hostages, feeling the gentleness of his hands as he patches bullet wounds, seeing the way he gladly takes the bedroll by the open window to ensure his comrades aren’t harrassed by the winter breeze- one may come to believe he was actually the kindest soldier among the squadron.

So he keeps his tone level.

“Anything else?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Anything else you go by, soldier?”

“You can call me Gun if you’d like, sir. Not sure if anyone here would know you’re referring to me, though.”

He nods once, leaning back and turning his head to look towards another soldier.

“Beside me is Sergeant John MacTavish. We call him Soap, sir. You two worked alongside Captain Price in Verdansk.”

He’s quiet, nodding once to Johnny before turning again.

Crossing your arms with a smile, you nudge Soap and give a small nod in the direction of the lieutenant.

“What’d you do to piss him off?” You murmur with a poorly concealed smile.

“No idea. We hardly spoke. Was too busy tellin’ Price all about your little oven incident on base.” Soap teases with a nudge of his shoulder against yours.

You roll your eyes and nudge him back before resting your head on the now departing heli and closing your eyes. “Oh, so you were chatting everyone’s ear off like always? That explains it.”

Letting out a low chuckle, he knocks his boot into yours twice before copying your stature, arms crossed and head leaning back.

Unlike the duo, Ghost doesn’t find sleep easily.

If you ask, he’d say it was for the betterment of the mission. No team can afford a groggy, sleep-ridden lieutenant, especially not before a kill-or-capture.

In actuality, he’d always been a light sleeper, ever since he was a boy. The military hardens you, gives you the ability to sleep in cold, damp environments that make you question if you’ll wake up having grown moss. But Ghost had never gotten over his need for a solid ground to sleep on, no matter how hard he tried.

He finds himself thinking of those futile attempts once more as he sits across from the two of you, shoulders squished as you lean on each other for support in the shaking heli.

He feels a sense of deja vu, though you’re both a tad more battered than the first time this scene played out. Securing the crash site was bloody, but he recalls Johnny’s soft smile when you knocked your boot against his and asked how his bleeding head felt.

“It’s just a graze, Bun. How’s the ankle?”

“Still clicking. Don’t think it’ll ever go back to normal.”

“A shame, really. Guess fate is forcing you to stick with me. Just for the foot rubs, o’course.”

“Of course, no other reason.”

He knocks his boot against yours, twice, and ruffles your hair before he leans back into the wall of the small exfil aircraft and closes his eyes.

“Hey! You know I’m low on gel, ruin my hair again and I’ll have you written up for insubordination.”

“Cry me a river, Bugs.”

“‘Oh, good one, Johnny. Hurt my heart with that one, truly.” You tease, giggling as he tosses his MTP cap onto your head and pushes the brim well below your eyes.

“Sleep, Bunny.”

You look much better now, Ghost thinks. You’ve had a night to recoup- shower and rewrap the ankle he’s since learned you don’t go a day without tending to. The same could be said for Soap, bloody hair having been washed and cropped down an inch. He distinctly remembers hearing you snip at Johnny’s hair from the men's showers, pleading for him to grow it out at one even length and forcing the shortening regardless of Soap’s whines.

He had stopped dead in his tracks the first time he heard your voice ring out, fully convinced he was mere steps away from walking into the women’s showers and living the rest of his military career with the word ‘nonce’ attached to his image.

His internal panic was silenced when he heard an unfamiliar voice ring out.

“Just tell ‘em your hand slipped, Rabbit. We’ll vouch for ‘ya!”

“Daniel, I swear to god, I’ll shiv ya’ in yer sleep.” He hears Soap’s loud, muffled voice.

“Johnny, you move again and you’re gonna have a stripe of beard missing.”

“I’d listen to her, Soap. Oliver’s already slipped her 20 quid to give you a chinstrap.”

“You’re full of shit, Daniel!”

He did his best to ignore the two men’s loud argument as he opened the door to the showers, just barely getting a glimpse of Soap’s side profile where he sits in a small towel and faces the wide mirror, blocked by your figure as you prop one knee on the bench and trim away at his beard. His arm is lazily wrapped around your waist, keeping your balance and occasionally fiddling with a fraying belt loop.

“Hey, L.t. Hittin’ the showers?”

Ghost lets out an affirmative grunt as you turn to face him with a grin he knows by now is mildly troubling.

“Good evening, Lieutenant. Need a trim? I’ve used my model, Mr. MacTavish here, as an example of how a good, clean cut can shape up any fixer-upper. By law I must state, I am eligible to receive a small commission based on the sale of any products sold here today. So, whatchya’ thinking, sir?”

You gesture towards the half empty USO Care Package that holds generic two-in-one toiletries with a giggle that’s spurred on by Daniel and Oliver’s loud chuckles. He takes note of your freshly washed hair and knows the good mood stems from the fresh cooked dinner and warm shower you’d clearly had the opportunity of enjoying. He’d scarfed down the dinner same as you, though in his private quarters, and now wonders how you’d freshened up so fast.

He doesn’t recall Gunnery Sergeants being permitted upgraded living arrangements during deployments. Even he had to fight for authorization for an ensuite bathroom, and the showers were completely unusable. But the women’s barracks were on the other side of the compound, the showers close-by having been closed for refurbishment. You couldn’t possibly have been so fast as to have walked over there, showered, blow-dried your hair, changed into your civilian clothes, and walked back- all in a matter of minutes. Daniel and Oliver were just wrapping up their showers, and seeing by the small bottle of conditioner clutched in Soap’s hand, he isn’t far behind. Did that mean-

“Can I take your silence as a yes, Lieutenant?” You grin, wiggling the razor in your grasp.

Ghost steps around you and barks out a ‘Negative, Gun,” before walking to a shower in the far corner and pulling the curtain closed. Stripping down and turning the water on, he listens for the sounds of footsteps before even thinking of removing the balaclava. He doesn’t hear any, but rather your low voice speaking to Soap as the sounds of running water stop.

“Alright, I’m done. Go finish up.”

He scrubs the dirt and grime away as he listens to the other two men say their goodbyes as they leave, and only once he hears you chat to Soap from the bench as he conditions his hair does Ghost remove the balaclava and scrub at the greasepaint around his eyes.

He thinks back to later that night, hours after you and Soap had left the shower room he may or may not have locked by way of pressing an oddly misplaced chair firm under the handle of the door.

“Johnny, that slice is way too big. You’re gonna get a stomachache again. And this time I’m not- Lieutenant! Hello again! Take a seat, sir.”

At his lack of movement, your smile widens and you gesture toward the shared dining table.

“Please, go ahead.”

“What’s this?”

“It’s a little tradition Soap and I have. Buttermilk pie after every successful mission. I make it myself, secret recipe. Please, join us. The rest of the unit’s already had their slices.”

“We lost sight of Hassan and four of our men, Gun. You consider that a success?”

He isn’t unkind with his words, just factual.

“Johnny, am I standing here talking to our lieutenant?”

“Indeed, Bonnie.”

“And Lieutenant, would you say you feel alive?”

“Hardly.”

“I’ll take it.” You mumble, shrugging. “Sounds like a success to me. I’ll grab you a slice, sir.”

He wasn’t able to get a word out before you were shoving the flimsy plate into his chest, small dabs of whipped cream hitting his black hoodie. He moved a hand to push the plate away, but somehow you were faster in turning that hand and precariously balancing the wobbling desert plate in the center of his gloved palm.

“Please, Lieutenant. It boosts team morale. You’re here to do your job. I get that. Let me do mine.”

You’re physically able to see the breath he lets out, gently curling his fist around the desert and blinking owlishly.

“Here’s yer fork, L.t.”

Mouth stretched into a wide grin, Soap throws an arm over your shoulder and directs you down the hall and into the empty common area, grabbing the remote and switching the channel over to some old Scottish comedy movie you detest but could recite by heart.

Looking down at the now-flaking whipped cream stain, Ghost breathes out a soft growl and flips open the cabinets, grabbing a roll of cling wrap and sufficiently covering the slice of pie.

Opening the fridge, he goes to place the dessert on the top shelf before stopping to read the comically large, sparkly pink piece of poster paper taped to the bottom two bins.

Property of Sgt. Soap and GnSgt. Rabbit. Failure to comply with direct no-contact orders will result in disciplinary infractions. Don’t think we won’t notice. We see all.

Shaking his head with a small chuckle and roll of his dark eyes, Ghost turns back to the small camera he spotted lazily hidden behind the coffee machine and holds up the pie, before turning back and sliding open the first bin.

There isn’t much- some salsa, two ripe avocados, and a few Trader Joe’s microwave meals Ghost imagines cost a fortune to import.

Opening the second drawer, the bin catches on the lip of the fridge and Ghost has to shimmy it back and forth before it gives way.

Just barely keeping himself from letting out a full-bellied laugh, he’s able to catch a stray candy bar that falls from the overflowing stash of refrigerated sweets.

It’s a milk chocolate cadbury bar, and he only slightly over-exaggerates his movements in brushing his hand over the top of the pile before discreetly palming the chocolate bar up his sleeve.

“Don’t think we won’t notice. Hmph. Don’t know how you could, fuckin’ mountain of sweets.”

Rifling through the pile, he passes a collection of English candies amongst some Scottish sweets he doesn’t recognize. He notes the small collection of American candies at the bottom of the bin, some he could’ve sworn was banned in the UK around the same time he was still working as an apprentice butcher at the grocery store. Something about red dye or sprinkles or choking hazards, he can’t care enough to remember.

Regardless, he does his best to smush down the pile without crushing anything, once again wrestling the bin closed.

“Fucking hell, half these don’t even need to be refrigerated.”

He scoffs a low laugh as he places the pie in the first bin, barely half full. Securing the sign once again, he rises to his full height and closes the fridge. Making eye contact with the freezer, he shakes his head and walks off with a murmur.

“Don’t even wanna know.”

“-Sir?”

Your voice has his eyes snapping to yours before doing a quick one-over of the helicarrier.

When did the sun rise?

“You okay, sir? Called you a couple times.”

He doesn’t recall hearing you, doesn’t quite recall falling asleep either, but he can’t think of any other way he’d get distracted so easily.

He looks back over to you as you stretch out your arms, giving a nod.

“Freaked me out a little. You, uh… you didn’t blink. For like five minutes. Thought you were having a ‘Nam flashback or something.”

His lack of response and owlish stare has you laughing sheepishly, instead choosing to pat Soap’s thigh, nudging your shoulder against his and stirring him awake.

“Johnny. C’mon, wakey wakey. We’re starting descent.”

Soap mumbles something incoherent but doesn’t open his eyes. You wrap your arm around his shoulders and shake him with a laugh.

“No no no, John, don’t fall back asleep. You’ve got ten minutes to liven up.”

Turning to Ghost, you nod with a small smile.

“Lieutenant. I saved an extra for you, sir.”

You reach into the small cooler beneath your seat and pull out a milk chocolate cadbury bar.

“Since you like them so much.” You add with a wink, closing the cooler and strapping a medieval looking chain lock that definitely surpassed overkill. The tips of Ghost’s ears turn red, and though you couldn’t possibly see that through the balaclava, he swears the mirth in your eyes proves otherwise.

“Grab me anythin’, Bun?”

Rummaging around before handing Soap an Irn-Bru, you look out the small, round window and sigh happily.

Lifting the cooler lid, Ghost nods to a small portion of the sweets at the bottom of the container.

“Weren’t those discontinued?” he asks, glancing over at you as you ignore him in favor of unbuckling yourself and walking towards the cockpit, an excited hop to your step.

“She has ‘er ways, L.t. ‘S Probably best not to question it.” Soap chuckles with a smile and a shake of his head, popping open the can and suppressing his smile in between sips of the sweet drink.

“What’s got her so giddy, then?”

“Closest she’s been to home in a while. Plus, she used to visit Mexico a lot when she was a kid, stationed on-and-off for a few years, too. Don’t mention it, though.” He says, nodding his head in your direction where you exit the cramped cockpit.

“Pilot says we’re three minutes out. I’d eat that chocolate while you’ve got the chance, Lieutenant.”

You turn, taking Johnny with you, and go back towards the cockpit where a few spare medkits lay in boxes. He watches you noncommittally skim your hands over a few of them, and he realizes you’d given him the opportunity to eat in privacy.

He’s tempted to just sit and time how long you’d stay with your back turned. Watch and see if you’d risk falling on your ass as the heli roughly lands if it means he could have an additional few seconds of peace.

But if there’s one guilty pleasure Ghost will always allow himself to indulge in, it’s chocolate. He’s always had a sweet tooth, something about the rich, milky cocoa dessert brings him back to a memory he can’t quite recall but knows feels right.

He doesn’t lift the balaclava, though he probably could’ve with the amount of time you two spent with your backs turned. It’s barely noticeable, but as he slips the small squares of chocolate under his mask and to his lips, he spots the start of a thin, smooth scar trailing a few inches under your right ear to the start of your spine. The scar gets thicker as it trails down, evidence of a deeper wound, and he wonders if you feel just as vulnerable turning your back to him as he does slithering his only free hand under the mask and past the pale scars that decorate his soft lips.

Folding the wrapper and stuffing it into one of the free pockets of his tac vest, he loudly clears his throat and unbuckles himself.

Turning back and smiling, you walk back to the pilot and clap his shoulder with a ‘thanks, James’ before settling back in your seat next to Soap and allowing the landing to jerk you half out of your seat.

He looks towards the pilot, squinting his eyes but only able to see his outline with the harsh sun glaring through the windshield.

He’s not able to get his sights on the man before the ramp is lowering and he’s following Soap in meeting the Colonel.

“Alejandro”

“Sergeant MacTavish”

“Call me Soap”

“Lieutenant. Laswell says they call you Ghost.”

“Actually, I believe he prefers to be-”

“That’ll do.”

Nodding as he fights back an amused grin, Alejandro looks past the two men.

“Gunnery Sergeant Rabbit. What’s in the cooler?”

Whipping his head to turn to you, he almost lets out a sigh. Really, he should’ve expected it by now, but wishful thinking had him hoping you’d leave the cooler of sweet snacks for the pilots to enjoy.

“Doubloons.” You smile, setting the cooler at your feet and shaking Alejandro’s hand. “Colonel Vargas. Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Welcome to the ‘City of Souls’.”

Picking up the cooler, Soap looks out at the rising sun before turning back to Alejandro.

“I’ve never been to Mexico.”

“This isn’t Mexico. This is Las Almas.”

Giving his strong arms an appreciative squeeze, you position yourself between him and Ghost, listening attentively to the Colonel’s words.

“Shephard’s contractors are inbound to reinforce. They’re bringing hardware, they’ll need room. My base is your base.”

“Good. Now, where’s Hassan?”

“Cartel safe-house, ten clicks from here.”

Opening the door and throwing the cooler behind his seat, Johnny reaches a hand out and leads you to the center seat, grabbing the buckle and strapping you in.

“No fun.” You pout and whisper quietly, breaking into a smile as he shoves himself into the cramped seat and knocks his boot into yours with a pat to your thigh.

“This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra.”

“Tengo miedo de los fantasmas”

Fighting back a smile, you turn to Ghost.

“Mhm, Fantasma. Sounds sexy. I think that’s what I’ll call you.”

Ghost’s glare settles deep into your soul, but it got a chuckle from the rest of the car- and it’s not like that glare didn’t pleasantly spike your heart rate- so you brush it off with a smile.

“You know Spanish?” Alejandro turns back, but Soap is quick to speak.

“No.” He bumps his boot into yours.

Alejandro lets out a chuckle as he turns back towards the road.

“You will.”

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avatar-anna · 1 year ago

Text

Workday Blues

2024 Masterlist

i wrote this weeks ago after a co-worker had me seeing red lol

"I just don't get it, H," you sighed, leaning back against the leather seat of your car as you waited for the light to change. Your voice felt strained, and you knew you sounded whiny, but you couldn't help it. After a long shift at work, you told yourself you reserved the right to complain. "Why can't people just, I don't know, do the job they showed up to do and get paid for?"

"I'm sorry, bub," Harry said, his voice tinny as it filled up your car. "Did you talk to your manager?"

You scoffed. "There's no point, but I swear I wanted to tell them I didn't want to work that shift anymore. I'm just so sick of—of—doing more than what's required of me and not being compensated for it."

Harry remained quiet over the phone. At this point in your relationship, he knew when you wanted his advice and when you just needed to vent about your job. The latter happened more and more as of late. Sometimes you felt bad for being so negative, but after nine hours of being overly positive as a restaurant server, you didn't have much positivity left in you.

"Need me to leave you a review again?" Harry finally asked.

Despite your exhaustion, you smiled. "What's that, now? The third one this month?"

"Fourth. Three and a half. I had Mitch leave one after the, what did you call it, 'influencer incident?'" he asked, referring to an afternoon where someone tried to pay for their meal by posting a video online.

"Hm. I'll have to bring him a slice of pie the next time I visit the studio."

"Hey, what about me? Where's my pie?"

Grin widening a bit, you said, "I'll give you something better."

"And...how far from home are you now?"

"Pulling in right now. I'll see you inside."

You pulled into the home you shared with Harry, resting your forehead against the steering wheel once the car was in park. Your feet hurt, you smelled like the food your restaurant served, and you desperately needed to take your makeup off. Sometimes you wondered why you were still putting yourself through all of this, and Harry definitely did too. For years now, Harry promised to take care of you, to take care of your student debt so you could focus on your career and not be so tired and unhappy. He didn't say it often because it typically led to an argument about independence and needing to be able to take care of yourself, but you knew how he felt, and after days like today, the idea of letting someone else take care of you financially seemed more appealing than it normally did.

Sighing, you slid out of the car, gathering your lunch bag and purse before shuffling into the house on slippered feet. "H?" you called, eyes lighting up when you heard the sound of nails scraping against wood floors. A shadow of jet black fur whipped around the corner and bounded toward the entrance hall to you, tongue out and tail wagging.

"Hi, pookie! How's my sweet boy?" you cooed. Hades nudged your leg with his nose, and you bent down to run your hands over his soft puppy fur until he eventually fell onto his back in need of belly rubs.

"You talking to me?" Harry's voice sounded like it came from the kitchen, which you followed once you straightened up and your dog was finished licking your face.

"You're gonna eat your words when you get your cute butt over here."

"I live with two boys, and only one of them greets me excitedly without fail. You do the math," you joked.

You smiled and shook your head at the comment. Harry knew your feelings about your "unflattering" work uniform, so he often went out of his way to compliment you whenever you were in it.

When you finally made it to where Harry was standing at the kitchen counter, tears nearly welled up in the corners of your eyes. "Is that—"

"Wild Cherry Pepsi," he said, his grin wide and knowing as he read your expression. "With pebbled ice. And dinner, but I know you care more about the drink with that sugar addiction of yours."

"You know me so well," you said, your voice rising in pitch as your head bowed.

"Aw, come here, bub." You shuffled over the last few steps to Harry, folding right into his welcoming embrace.

His body was firm and comforting against yours, his t-shirt soft beneath your cheek. Breathing in deep, you wrapped your arms around Harry's torso, letting every frustration you felt at work fall away as he held you.

"Thank you," you mumbled, tilting your head up after a minute or two had passed.

Harry smoothed his hand over your hair and down your back, pulling at the hair tie that held your braid in place all day. "For what?"

You shrugged, eyes closed as he began to pull the strands of your braid apart. "I don't know. For being you, for not suggesting I should quit when I know you want to."

"Another time," Harry promised. Pulling out a chair at the kitchen table, he gestured for you to sit down. You practically fell into the chair, feeling like you could finally relax as you took the plastic to-go cup into your hands and took a sip. Your eyes closed, feeling as though you could fall asleep right then even though you knew you should probably eat. As if he could tell you were on the brink of sleeping, Harry asked, "Do you want to keep talking about work or are you ready to forget?"

Harry wasn't being rude, nor was he belittling your frustration. You'd done this song and dance a time or two, but some days required you to vent more than others.

Around the straw, you said, "Can I?"

He sat beside you, taking Hades in his lap, who was happy to be held even though he was getting way too big for it. Usually, you chided Harry for holding Hades like that, but you were too tired, and honestly, it was kind of cute.

You talked while you ate, and Harry listened, letting you get everything you needed off your chest. He was quiet but attentive, apologizing for things out of his control and cursing your co-workers when you did. None of it would really improve the situation at work, but you always appreciated Harry's willingness to listen when you needed him to, and share in your anger and frustration when necessary.

Standing from the table, you took your plate and put everything in the dishwasher. Grabbing your plastic cup in one hand and Harry's hand in the other, you said, "I think I'm all done."

Harry kissed your temple before pulling you up the stairs toward your bedroom. Hades snaked between you and him to run ahead, waiting on the landing impatiently. "Good, because the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City won't wait for just anyone."

"Not a reading night, huh?" you asked, resting your head on his shoulder. Harry looked down and raised his brows in an expression that expressed he was not, in fact, going to be cracking open his book tonight. Kissing his cheek, you said, "Go ahead and start the next episode, baby. I'm gonna hop in the shower and wash my day off."

Harry, who'd been on his way to do just that, paused and frowned. "Well now I want to watch something else."

Grinning, you held out your hand while you continued to sip your drink. "Come on."

Hades, who had already claimed his spot at the edge of your bed, tilted his head to one side, clearly confused as to why his parents were walking away instead of joining him. "We'll be quick," you promised, even though you knew your dog didn't understand. But the message was for Harry too.

When you were finally in bed, watching Harry's show through eyes that were struggling to stay open, you looked up from where you resting against his shoulder. Harry's glasses were perched on his nose, his eyes focused on the television in front of him as he ran his hand idly over Hades' fur, who had conveniently found his way onto your lap once you settled into bed for the night.

"If you insist," Harry said on an exhale, turning the shower on and setting it to a temperature he knew you both liked.

"Be honest," you said suddenly. "I'd be happier if I quit, right?"

Harry was quiet, but you knew he'd heard you. He was just weighing his words. "Is another job lined up in this alternate universe?" he finally asked.

"I don't know, maybe. They argue quite a bit, though. Don't think you want to be part of all that drama," he replied, taking the remote and pausing his show. He looked down at you, eyes soft but perhaps a little concerned. You'd never considered his offer of letting him provide for you this seriously before. "Honestly? I think you'd get bored, bub."

You shrugged. "I don't know. You've said you'd always take care of me. What if I just...let you? I could be one of them," you mused, nodding your head at the women on your TV.

A nod and a noncommittal hum was your only response for a few seconds until you'd gathered your thoughts. "I'm just so...tired. I'm tired of everything I do not being appreciated. I'm tired of not being supported. I love my regulars and I like most of my co-workers, and part of me feels a sense of loyalty to this place despite, well, everything."

"We'll do some job hunting tomorrow," Harry said. "I'll help you update your resume, you'll send some feelers out, and we'll go from there. How does that sound?"

"I could get a remote job," you mused. "I'd get to be home more. I could travel more with you."

Harry kissed the top of your head. "As much as I would love that, I think your strengths lie in the connections you make with people. You certainly charmed the pants off me."

"Literally or metaphorically?"

"Both."

You grinned, cheeks reddening as you recalled the night you first met Harry.

*.*

"Holy shit you're Harry Styles."

Your hand immediately clapped over your mouth, as if physically covering it would keep you from embarrassing yourself further. In your defense, it was the first time a celebrity sat in your section at work, and no one had thought to warn you. And Harry Styles, no less. The man in front of you was probably still immortalized on your childhood bedroom wall, and now you'd all but outed yourself as a fan when he'd no doubt wanted some privacy.

"I'm so sorry, I—" How were you supposed to recover from this? Harry stared at you with a small smile, a pitying one, no doubt. God, you had one opportunity to act cool in front of a celebrity and you blew it in less than ten seconds. "I'm sorry, let me start over. Hi, I'm Y/n, and I'll be taking care of you today. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Just a water please," Harry replied, his voice soft as his smile widened, which made you think that perhaps he thought you making an absolute fool out of yourself was at the very least amusing.

Once you made it back to the service station to retrieve his water glass, you gave yourself exactly one minute to collect yourself. "He's just another customer. An extremely attractive customer," you murmured, grabbing a pitcher of water from the fridge. "You can do this, Y/n. Pull yourself together."

From there, things went smoothly. You acted like you hadn't freaked out when you initially greeted Harry's table, and Harry was thankfully on board with that plan. He was polite, wasn't fussed when a dish he wanted couldn't be made vegetarian, and was surprisingly interested in making conversation with you anytime you were at his table.

"How long have you worked here?"

"Too long," you joked. "Sometimes I feel like there's a bit of Stockholm Syndrome with this place, but the tips are good."

Your eyes widened a bit when you realized he might think you were making a joke about one of his songs—which you absolutely weren't trying to do—but you didn't comment on it, and thankfully neither did he. You talked a little bit more about the career you did want to get into, and casually asked what brought him to the restaurant you worked at. It wasn't one celebrities tended to frequent, but perhaps that was its charm to Harry.

"Had a day to myself, just thought I'd do some exploring," he explained before you left him to enjoy his meal.

You'd gotten a couple more tables since then and couldn't go over and talk to Harry like you wanted, but perhaps that was for the best. You flitted around the restaurant floor like you always did, charming customers and taking complaints in stride with a smile. Tips were key, and snarky comments or not being accommodating would get you nowhere with certain customers, even if it did kill you inside just a little bit to see an insufferable person get their way.

You didn't realize it at the time, but according to Harry, he watched you—not in a creepy way, per his recollection of your first meeting. He watched you chat with regulars and help your co-workers place orders and carefully placate disgruntled customers. And all the while, you still managed to stop by his table, smiling and topping off the coffee he ordered after he ate, which, according to him he'd done just so he could keep talking to you.

Apparently, he'd been working up the courage to flirt with you when you finally set the check down on the table. "No rush," you said with a smile before heading to another table, a party of ten that you accidentally huffed to him was supposed to be a party of five.

Harry paid, then smiled when his bill and credit card came back to him. Sorry for acting like an idiot earlier. It was nice meeting you! you'd written on the receipt, adorning it with a smiley face. You watched as Harry smiled as he read your note from Expo before one of the line cooks shouted at you to run the food that was up.

You didn't think you'd ever see Harry again, a universal truth, some might've called it. But for some reason, the notion disappointed you, and not because you didn't get a picture with your teenage crush. It felt bigger than that somehow, which was altogether crazy considering you'd only just met him.

So imagine your surprise when you saw him again two days later. "He was supposed to be in my section, but he insisted on yours. Don't fuck it up," one of your more vile co-workers told you, clearly jealous. And as you saw him, his head bent over the menu and his knee bouncing beneath the booth, your heart leaped in your chest in a way that made you both nervous and excited.

"You forgot something," he said as he closed out his check for the second time that week. Time had passed in a blur, despite it slowing down every time you went over to talk to him, which was to say a lot. It wasn't as busy as the day he first came in, leaving you no choice but to check on him more than you normally would.

"Did I?" you asked, looking down at the bill with furrowed brows.

"Last time I was here, I mean," Harry corrected.

Last time, you thought. All Harry had gotten was a salad and a coffee, but the tip he left was well over half of what your other tables had left that day combined. But you rang everything in correctly. Perhaps he was expecting a discount for his celebrity status? He didn't seem like the type, but that was the only conclusion you were able to draw.

"The note you left," he continued, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. He sat up straighter, giving you a better view of the Keith Harring shirt he wore. "It didn't have your number on it, so I've had to come back the last two days so I could ask you for it. Only now I know you don't work on Mondays."

Shock ran through your entire body, to the point where you couldn't even speak. Harry, Harry Styles, mind you, wanted your number. Badly enough that he'd come back to an average Mom-and-Pop restaurant to get it.

"No, I—I don't," was all you could manage as your entire face heated up.

"I hope I'm not sounding like a creep right now," Harry said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "I realize now I may have participated in some light stalking."

"You're not," you blurted, trying to remember how to speak. You felt like you'd somehow entered an alternate dimension. "Here, hold on."

You pulled your order pad from your back pocket and scribbled your number down, willing your hands to stop shaking. Ripping it off the stack, you handed it to Harry, who took it from you graciously.

"Can I call you later?" he asked, standing up from the booth. You had to back up a couple steps to give him room, and you were now aware of just how tall he was as you craned your neck to look at him.

"Please," you blurted, cursing yourself for sounding so eager. Harry didn't seem to mind, though, smiling as he slipped his phone and wallet into the back pocket of his jeans. "I—I mean, sure. I'm off at eight tonight."

"I'll be counting down the minutes," he said before cursing under his breath. "Shit. I sounded like a stalker again, didn't I?"

A laugh bubbled out of you, making Harry's shoulders relax. "I'll allow it. Just this once."

Harry laughed too, then winked, and you were honestly so proud of yourself for not swooning in front of him. "I guess I'll be talking to you later then, Y/n."

*.*

"You made me so nervous," you said as you recalled the memory of how you'd embarrassed yourself in front of Harry the first time you met.

"I know," he said, laughing when you smacked his arm. "It was cute, though! And you also made me plenty nervous, to be fair."

"That is true," you sighed, grinning a little as you turned your face into his arm. "One of us stalked the other, and it certainly wasn't me."

"Sure, but one of us has posters of the other plastered all over their childhood bedroom."

Scoffing, you sat up and scooted away from him, making Hades bark in protest. "It's one poster. And you weren't even my favorite. Zayn was."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"I will."

Sighing, you settled deeper against him, as much as you could considering the puppy still in your lap. "Sometimes I think I keep the job because that's where we met."

"It's okay to let it go. We'll have the memory," Harry promised, his hand meeting yours as he began to scratch Hades' fur. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

Nodding, you reached for the remote and pressed play on the show, content to leave the conversation there. If Harry promised to help you figure it out, then you believed him.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

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deadinthedisco · 2 years ago

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in love in italy

hey!!! long time no see…sorry i’ve been off the grid - i’ve been working loads. i just randomly wrote this (I was feeling very poetic after reading Sally Rooney lmfao) hope you enjoy!

being with harry in Italy brings on some intense feelings that you just need to confess.

warnings: very brief mentions of sex, other than that it’s absolutely heart wrenching fluff.

word count: ~1k

You’ve never felt like this before.

At least, not when you're in the middle of having sex with someone.

This wasn't just someone though, it was Harry.

Sweet and gentle Harry, whom had made everything feel a little bit lighter for you since the moment you met. Here he was, skin so close to yours it felt like he was trying to meld you both together like clay. His head was dipped into your shoulder, his breaths heaving but blissful. You felt like a pot of boiling sugar bubbling up to a gooey caramel and oozing into the bed below you. He made you feel as though one look from him or one kiss from him would make you shed every negative piece of your mind.

"You okay? You're awfully quiet after that." He half laughs, referring to the intense scene of love that was just displayed in the early hours of the morning, in a random villa in Italy. You’d woken up to get a glass of water and returned to bed to find Harry awake. A quick good night kiss turned into wandering hands and clothes being stripped to the floor. It wasn't quick, or impatient, the way you'd held eachother. It was intense, and thick and heavy — like there was something lingering for the two of you. You feel a few tears slip to yours ears and on to the pillows. Harry still hasn't noticed, gently stroking the leg around his waist. You scratch your fingers in his hair and let out a shaky breath.

You always found it hard to hold in your cries, since you were small. They swelled your chest like a balloon, and with a sharp gasp of breath the balloon pops and Harry's snapping his head up quickly and brushing your hair out of your face.

"Woah, woah. What's wrong?" His voice is panicked and you don't find yourself trying to avoid his gaze, which is strange. You don't feel upset, you feel overwhelmed. Harry always said it scared him how every time you looked at him it felt like you were reading his mind.

You wipe the sweat from your brow, the warm room making you feel flushed. Or was it this nagging urge to tell Harry something you’d kept to yourself for so long, out of fear of scaring him off so early in your relationship.

You smile, and he must think you look manic, grin growing the more you look at him, his constant over concern for you, like he couldn’t bear to think of anything bad happening to you.

“I feel good.” You say quietly, running your thumb over his mole next to his mouth.

“Yeah? That’s good.” He kisses you softly.

“Do you feel good?” He nods at your question without hesitation.

His eyes seem to gloss over akin to yours, and the words are literally behind your teeth when he says, “Always when I’m with you. You make me feel so safe. I can’t describe it-”

“I love you so much, Harry.” The tears are no longer tears, rather streams of saltiness that saturate your hair and Harry’s hands. He seems to deposit the last of the air in his lungs before he can speak again. Like your words winded him.

“You love me?” His voice is timid, and his hand is now shaking.

“You know that thing, where people paint in acrylic on a canvas, and it looks good, but kind of dull? A bit moody?” Harry nods, with a small smile creeping up his face. You always were one for the metaphor, “and then they paint it with that shimmery gloss and it makes the painting look so different. Like it’s brand new, and you’re finally seeing it in its best form? That’s how you make me feel. I wasn’t bad before, I just needed something…or someone to make me more vibrant. You do that for me. And I love you for it.”

He laughs, and the movement makes his tears fall out of his eyes and on to your cheeks. You are the most emotionally intelligent person he’s ever met in his life and he can’t believe that you’re in love with him.

“You always come up with the most beautiful metaphors...” he kisses you again, like staring at your face for too long brings on the urge to just devour you whole. “I genuinely think my entire life was created to coexist with yours, and just hear every piece of your mind that you’ll let me.”

You pull him down again and kiss him again. You were insatiable for his kisses, they were like oxygen for you. He’s still crying, and you’re still crying, and all you can hear around you is his heavy heartbeat and the owls in the trees around you. Your favourite place to be with Harry was in his Italian house. It felt like no one in the world existed or cared about the two of you when you were within these walls.

“I love you. I have done for months and I will do for a lifetime. Okay?” His brows are pinched together, in a sincere and reassuring way. Like he needs you to know that he’s not going anywhere.

“Okay.” You smile widely, until your cheeks hurt and your eyes wrinkle. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Now that it’s out in the air it feels like the only form of communication between you both in this moment. Harry rocks against your hips and kisses your neck, and you begin to breathe shallow. You whine when he connects your lips again.

“Show me how much you love me, H.”

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry #harry styles story #boyfriendrry #harry styles smut #harry styles boyfriend #harry styles imagine #harry styles husband #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles oneshot

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devout-of-the-elder-scrolls · 8 months ago

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Positive Aspects of Daedric Princes and Things They Help With

This post is primarily UPG, and focuses exclusively on the positive aspects of these wonderful beings and what they can do for you, so while I acknowledge the negative aspects, it's not the point of the post. This is in no way an exhaustive list of everything. I use the term "follower" in here to refer to worshipers, deity workers, etc as a general catch-all. Sorry if it's not accurate to your relationship! /gen

Read more due to being a long post.

AZURA

A very calm, collected, loving individual who wants followers to love themselves the way She loves them.

Teaches divination and warns us mortals about upcoming events that may harm us. Focuses a lot on growth, healing, and progress within life. Blesses mortals with divinatory powers and prophetic dreams. She's really lenient and patient.

BOETHIAH

Generally protective and shares His wisdom to all who seek it. Is stated to be the patron of rebellious exiles in TES lore, and accepts those who have been exiled for one reason or another.

Teaches and preaches strength and personal power to a high degree. Getting vengeance and standing up against the cruel and those who wish to hurt you. Teaches a lot of baneful related magic.

CLAVICUS VILE

Very active in the lives of followers, and often works to help them achieve their goals and what they want. While deals with Clavicus tend to have you receive in a way you didn't quite expect, They usually work out in your highest good. Quite silly and goofy overall.

Doesn't sit by while followers are upset and enjoys cheering up followers into better moods. Spends time with followers when upset or hurting. Fulfills deals and grants wishes.

HERMAEUS MORA

Answers questions and delivers knowledge easily and quickly, and with just an offering in return. Calm, collected, and quite chatty when you get It going. Protects mortals from knowledge they're not meant to know that would genuinely harm them.

Teaches about pretty much anything. Generally calm and collected, making a good person to debate with, such as pros/cons on a situation, or anything else like that. Works hard to beat ignorance in all forms, and will educate followers in places their knowledge lacks even without being asked.

HIRCINE

Calm, collected, quiet, and acts as a pack leader. Cares a lot about followers, and is very clear about what They want. A very calm worship/working with/etc experience.

Brings in more people into a followers life that truly care for them and want their joy. Helps with achieving goals. Helps with anything life related, guiding to a better future.

JYGGALAG

Acts as a stern yet kind teacher. Will make it clear to a follower what they need to do for each thing.

A great god for the neurodivergent, especially ones stuck living in very neurotypical pushing lives. Puts things in your life in order, and makes sure you have a peaceful place to live within, or at least as close as They can get it.

MALACATH

Protective and strong-willed, and generally cares a lot about building people up in their circles and helping them regain themselves.

Regaining personal power, and establishing yourself within society. Helps with rebuilding from the worst of the worst, and with rebuilding your status/reputation after someone harmed it. Protects against abusers, and protects people who have been betrayed. Ensures followers keep their oaths and that those around them keep theirs to them. Helps with lying and deception for the sake of self-protection. Helps with curses and other baneful magic.

MEHRUNES DAGON

Has a lot of interest in making things better for people.

Helps with change and revolution. Aids with making plans for such changes. Helps with destruction of those who have wronged followers. Helps with big shows of power and greatness, helping a follower to assert themselves and their capabilities to others. Protection from natural disasters to followers.

MEPHALA

Watches over a followers life in every way, and often notices problems very quickly. Very sly and cunning, often using this to a followers benefit.

Teaches skills to avoid enemies and harm. Helps uncovering plots against followers, and rats out those who wish to harm them. Helps reveal secrets that are kept that don't help ones highest good. Helps with gender related things.

MERIDIA

Cares a lot about followers and their safety, wanting a better life for all of them.

Freeing followers from struggles and difficulties. Brings light onto situations that require of it. Helps re-find the joy in life and in living. Helps with surviving day to day and dealing with life matters.

MOLAG BAL

Very, very protective.

Protects against abuse and helps with vengeance. Fights back against bigotry and discrimination. Teaches to be strong and grand, and helps with facing fears. Provides guidance about how to be strong and with strength.

NAMIRA

Watches over a followers life, much like Mephala, to help notice when things go wrong.

Helps those in deep need, be it from poverty or anything else. Helps with that you can't discuss with everyone/anyone. Overcoming anxiety and fears. Finding beauty in things you didn't think you could before.

NOCTURNAL

Calm, collected, and generally kind to followers that listen to Them.

Revealing hidden things, and finding lost things. Being hidden from harm, cloaking during spells, and keeping cruel spirits from even noticing you. Uncovering mysteries and that which confuses you, bringing enlightenment.

PERYITE

Cares a lot about illness and healing in all sorts of ways.

Healing from illness, and managing chronic illness or physical disability. Accepting the above three things when they occur to you. Dealing with and finishing tasks, especially ones you don't want to be doing.

SANGUINE

Generally a kind and sweet person when in a good mood.

Succeeding in all forms of interpersonal endeavors. Managing addiction. Obtaining an lot of something you want.

SHEOGORATH

Very silly and goofy, doesn't take things too seriously unless it really calls for it.

Managing mental illness and neurodivergency, and accepting it too. Finding fun and having a good time. Cheering up during hard times.

VAERMINA

Rather friendly to followers, and enjoys helping them out.

Delivers messages through dreams and nightmares. Helps with dream/nightmare deciphering. Delivers omens and warnings to followers. Deals with corruption.

GENERIC THINGS TO NOTE

They all work to protect their followers in some way, in some way that relates to their sphere.

They'll all teach Daedric magic to those interested in it.

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sensei-venus · 1 year ago

Note

Fluff with robby about trying to pick baby names for their daughter?

Baby Names~

(Unedited) (Fluff, Pregnant!Reader, Mentions of Midwife!Moon, Moon is number one RobbyxReader shipper, Hinted mention of Reader having some kind of childhood trauma.)

The amount of baby books Robby had picked up was insane. When he came home and dumped the pile of books on their bed, Reader was more than a little shocked. Most of them were about raising kids, newborn and toddler age.

But a few were just purely name driven.

Reader puffed out her cheeks a little while looking though one of the books. Her eyes scanning over page after page of baby names. There were so many to choose from. It made her head hurt just looking at all of them. The ink almost seemed to imprint onto her brain the more she read.

She sighed “Do we have to do this right now? Can’t we just like wait or something until maybe she gets here?” Reader asked out loud. Robby scooted a little closer to her on the bed. A thicker book clutched in his hands. He looked up from what he was reading saying “Reader your already half way though the pregnancy, we have to at least look and some of them. At least to get an idea on what we might end up naming her.” He eyed her bump.

Reader rubbed said bump while still holding the book.

She really had no idea on what they should name their baby. She was never one to think of baby names, ever. The idea of even having a baby seemed so far gone in her mind. A baby was always at the very back of her mind. As a kid she didn’t like the idea of having kids in general, as a teen it was the same way. But then she meet Robby and it felt like a huge maybe. They both agreed that having kids wasn’t out of the question, but it would be far down the line.

Apparently far down the line was two years into their marriage after failed birth control and condoms.

It was just a lot to take in all at once.

It scared her at first and it still scared her now, months later.

Reader didn’t notice the way she zoned out while rubbing her belly. Her eyes hazy until she felt Robby’s hand skim over her knuckle.

“Sorry I got a little distracted.” Her voice was more of a whisper.

“It’s okay, I know you’re your thinking a lot. I am too, I didn’t think we would have to be sitting down and picking baby names so soon if you know what I mean.” He chuckled a little which perked her up a little. With a smile she looked down at her own hand and Robby’s. Both cradling her bump. She wasn’t huge but her round little belly was there.

A kick against their hands had them both surprised for a moment.

“Guess I woke her up with all of that negative stuff huh?”

“Don't say that, you're just stressed. We don't have to come up with a name today just maybe get some ideas okay? Don't stress yourself and the baby out. Just flip through it for a while” Robby smiles and goes back to his own book. Reader mumbles a little but goes back to her book.

“Moon said she was coming over this week to check on me. She wants to take my vitals for her charts.”

“Umm that's good. Do you want me to stay with you or…”

“No don't worry about it, it's nothing too big so I wouldn't worry about it.”

There was a long quiet pause as they both looked through their books.

Suddenly an idea popped into her head mid-flip of a random page. She set the book down saying “How would you feel if we named her something to honor Moon.” Robby slapped his book down and raised a brow at his wife.

“You want to name our baby after Moon? As in name out baby Moon?”

“No! Not name her straight out Moon. Name her something maybe similar. Moon has always been so supportive of us. Even back in high school she was great, she always had my back and when I got with you and everyone was a little iffy, she never questioned us being together. She's always just so nice to us. Hell she's even being our midwife for basically free… I just think it would be sweet.”

Robby couldn't really argue with her on that. Moon had been weirdly such a big support to them. It was so odd that Hawks's girlfriend would be the one to not say shit about their relationship. And now she was doing so much for them, looking out for Reader and the baby. Going as far as to offer to be their midwife because of Reader’s anxiety and past trauma.

He gave a small sigh, snuggling up next to his wife.

“I'm going to guess you have been thinking about this a lot? Any names stick out to you?”

Reader nodded shile tossing the book to the side. Humming she looked up at the ceiling “Well I was thinking maybe Eclipse? Meteora?” Robby visibly scrunched up his face. He was definitely not a fan of those names and Reader could tell. Thinking harder she offered up one last thought.

“What about Luna? Like the moon phase.”

Robby had to admit that he kinda liked the sound of that name. It was short and sweet and did remind him of the other girl a little bit. One of his hands rested on Reader's belly, rubbing circles into her skin ever so gently. He moved to rest his cheek on her. He gave a small smile saying ever so sweetly “Luna? Do you like that name? Lunaa.” he almost wanted to laugh. Reader did too but stopped herself. Talking to their daughter was a thing Robby had only picked up recently and it never failed to make the girl flustered.

But then a moment later she kicked which made the both of them stop what they were doing. Robby blinked a few times saying “Luna? Luna?” and there was another tiny kick.

They both laughed at the little ones' reaction inside Reader. Reader put her hand on Robby saying “I think she really likes the name Luna. Or she's just moving. I can't really tell.” she laughed a little. Robby kissed her belly and whispered “Nah I think she really does like the name. So I guess in a few more months we are going to get to meet our little Luna in person. Isn't that right Luna.”

There was a small shift in Reader's belly, the skin moving a little as “Luna” moved to a new position.

A sweet little name for a sweet little girl who would soon make a lot of people in their tiny little world happy.

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kriscommitscrimes · 1 year ago

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IN-DEPTH CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF KRIS(MAS) DREEMURR

Hello! I've wanted to make this post for a WHILE now, since Kris is my favourite character ever, and I LOVE analyzing characters!!

Anyway before I start just remember that people consume media differently, and this is just what I've personally picked up on. You may interpret certain points I make differently to me, and that's ok! I'm just sharing MY analysis of Kris, at the end of the day, they're a character who has never spoken any dialogue that's visible to us, so their intentions behind certain things could be interpreted differently depending on who's consuming the media.

Kris will be EXCLUSIVELY referred to by they/them (they/them/themself specifically) pronouns throughout this post. If you refer to them as anything other than they/them while interacting with this post I'm gonna block you on the spot sorry.

ANALYSIS BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S LONG!!! TW there's probably some swearing I can't remember

By the way, I'm not including any screenshots because I. forgot to take them last time I played through Deltarune, but the next time that I do, I'm going to make like a revamped version of this post with screenshots. Sorry about that!!

Kris is their own, separate character from the player. This is a no-brainer if you've actually played through Deltarune and paid the slightest bit of attention to it. Kris is their own, separate character with a VERY distinct, interesting personality, who had a life before the events of Deltarune, and even still has control over some things that they say and do while in our control.

Kris isn't actually a quiet person. Kris, in reality, is an overdramatic, sassy, talkative person who often draws attention to themself by scaring people (especially Noelle), and causing scenes. They CONSTANTLY play mean spirited pranks on Noelle or pressure her into things (I'm NOT talking about Snowgrave, I'll get to thar later), like shaking the ferris wheel carriage despite Noelle being scared of heights, and telling her that ICE-E is real and eats kids. They still do this during the events for Deltarune, like if you go against Noelle's wishes and pet the cheese, Kris strokes it like a cat, and if you give Noelle a healing item called a Choco Diamond, she says something along the lines of 'Umm, it's ok, Kris, I'll share', and both of them get healed. We don't choose for Kris to force Noelle to share, that's a decision they make. As for drawing attention to themself, the first thing that comes to mind is they falling to the ground and sulking when they're too short and weak to play Queen's arcade machine, or them barking at Noelle when she offers them a dog treat. They're loud and impulsive, shown when they eat the pie at the end of chapter one, repeatedly kicking the robot in the basement when nothing happens originally before the Sneo fight, eating all of the chocolate Undyne gives them to give to Alphys if you interact with the box, and screaming that they're normal if you call Toriel after watching her conversation with Alphys at the start of chapter two. Speaking of which...

Kris seems to have identity issues. This is one of the things here that everyone in the fandom is kind of already aware of, but this is a full character analysis, so it's still important to mention. Kris is the only human in Hometown, but desperately wants to be perceived as normal. They scream it at Toriel like I mentioned earlier, they wore a headband with red horns on it when they were little to look more like a boss monster, and they seem actively disgusting or even frightened by other humans. They also seem to be living in their brother's shadow a bit, which may be why they like drawing attention to themself. Everything I've said about their personality seems to be a little on the negative side so far, but everyone in Hometown knows their name, and seems to quite like them, so why is this? Well...

Kris is charming, well-spoken, and funny. They're a prankster known for pulling mean-spirited pranks on people, but even still characters like Noelle look back at those things fondly, and everyone in Hometown seems to like spending time with Kris. Kris' flirting abilities are pretty obvious, and are used to win over loads of Darkners, not to mention their ability to formulate a compelling speech on the spot, as shown during the first Queen battle when toasting to her. They easily win people over, especially if they like a person, I mean, they became best friends with their former bully in a DAY! A DAY!!! People seem to find them just genuinely fun to hang around, probably due to them just being a funny, charming, somewhat balls of the walls kinda person.

Kris is NOT evil or malicious. This is one of the most important points I've wanted to make on this post. I've seen the theory that Kris is evil because they don't actively do anything to prevent Snowgrave from happening tossed around and I'm here to say that that is actually fucking stupid sorry. Normally I HATE being mean about people's theories because, like I said, everyone consumes media differently, but that one is just genuinely terrible. I'd say it's WAY more likely that as Noelle gets strong, out control over Kris becomes stronger. Normally, when we choose an option to make Kris say or do something, they ELABORATE on that, which is confirmed by how characters interact with them. We just can't see them speaking to give the illusion that they're a blank slate, under our full control. But, during Snowgrave, they just say EXACTLY what you tell them to say. If you tell them to say 'We're something else', they just say 'We're something else'. If you tell them to say 'Proceed', they just say 'Proceed'. Sure, you could put this towards them not caring, but after Berdly is frozen and you reunite with Ralsei and Susie, both of them say that Kris looks HURT. And later on, they REFUSE to go and see Noelle in her room. The refuse to THINK about it. They're not happy with what happened. They didn't want to go around freezing people. But the one thing that Really stood out to me, was during the Snowgrave Spamton Neo fight. Near the end, you have the option to call Ralsei and Susie for help, which prompts the flavour text; 'Kris called for Susie and Ralsei... But nobody came'. After that, you have to call Noelle for help to finish the battle, which prompts the dialogue; 'You called for Noelle'. Spamton states that Kris could barely whisper her name. They're trying to stop you from calling for her. Those aren't their words. I think that kind of confirms that they didn't want Snowgrave to happen. Kris is just a funny teenager with identity issues, they're not evil. Sorry evil Kris fans.

Kris probably isn't the Roaring Knight. They're A knight, but not THE knight. So far, they don't REALLY have any motivation for opening the first two fountains that I'm aware of, and I doubt they knew they could open a fountain until Queen's speech at the end of Chapter 2. At the end of Chapter 2, however, they do seem to have a motivation to open a fountain. They (presumably) slash Toriel's tyres to stop her from leaving the house to go and get flour. They want her to see the Dark World. And if you choose the option to talk to Undyne about the Dark World, Kris explains it to her in FULL DETAIL, but she brushes it off as a joke. Toriel finding her tyres slashed leads her to call the guards, and Kris leaves the door of the house wide open. They want Undyne to see the Dark World, I don't know WHY, but they do for some reason. But I REALLY doubt they're the Roaring Knight, they just don't have the motivation, and if it is them, it would be really weird for Toby to reveal that so early. I really doubt that kid wants to bring on the end of the world.

That's all I have for now!! Expect a more fleshed out version of this next time I play Deltarune with screenshots and such, though I may wait until chapter 3 and 4 come out! Thanks for reading!

#robinrambles #character analysis #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #kris #long post #gif tw #deltarune #utdr #safeutdr #safe utdr

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fuhratheyluv · 2 months ago

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tuesdays with you!

Your crush who you were assigned to tutor for extra credits… turns out to be terrible at math but incredible at making you laugh. At first, he shows up late, forgetting his notebook but never his iced coffee, which he starts sharing with you because "it tastes better with company". As weeks pass, tutoring becomes less about equations and more about quiet afternoons in the library, your pens brushing fingers, your doodles appearing in his margins. He starts memorizing formulas just to impress you, and you start looking forward to Tuesdays more than weekends. Then one day, he shows up early, nervous, holding a folded piece of paper with a graph on it. You look closer — it's a coordinate plane. "X marks the spot where I fell for you" He said.

chat this MIGHT be a tiny bit ooc, cuz this is my first genuinely written work and i'm not that good at writing, ft. Bokuto and Atsumu :))

Bokuto

Wins your heart by being his loud, unfiltered, hilarious self

Starts off distracted but eventually works harder just to impress you.

At first he thought you were one of those grumpy tutors who have no patience and immediately sigh once he gets a question wrong. He was incorrect of course! You had the patience of an angel with him, even when he spilled his iced mocha on the worksheets you didn't react negatively, only quickly grabbing the nearest thing you could use to clean it up.

One day, after your tutoring session, he approaches you before leaving the library... Is he hiding something behind him?

"Okay okay okay, don't laugh!" He giggles nervously, "I made you a.. uhm.. confession worksheet?" He reveals a piece of paper that was folded up in half with drawings on it.

"It's a silly homemade quiz called How To Know If You Like Bokuto Too!" Bokuto flips the paper over, showing the other page. The title on the top of the page with two questions under it.

Question 1: Do you like loud guys with great hair and better hearts?

Question 2: Do you want to maybe go on a date with me Tuesday instead of tutoring?

And at the bottom, Final Answer = I like you, Like.. A LOT

"I might mess up numbers, but I’m really sure about this."

Atsumu

He was late to the first session, obviously — waltzing in like he owned the place, no notebook, no pen, just way too much confidence.

"Sorry, I had to save a volleyball from crashin’ into the third-years’ lunch. I’m basically a hero." He grabs a chair and sits opposite to you. (You later found out he was just napping)

He was terrible at math, but even worse at focus, constantly interrupting with unrelated questions like: “Why do letters gotta be in math? Who invited x?” and "So if x equals my GPA, and y equals how hot you are, how do I get those numbers to add up?”

You threaten to quit, and he grins even wider. Once asked completely serious: “If I kiss you every time I get somethin’ right, would I pass?”

Then came the quiet shifts, the way he started actually bringing a pencil. the way he leaned in when you explained something. the way he stopped looking at the clock — and started looking at you.

"Hey… you’re really good at this, y’know? Not just math. Like… makin’ people wanna try."

He was still Atsumu — loud, cocky, and full of dramatic flair. But you started noticing the real version, too. The one who stayed up the night before, trying to understand a formula just so he could see your face light up when he got it right.

Shockingly, he shows up five minutes earlier than usual. His hair all messed up as if he had been in a hurry, two cups of coffee in hand. He hands you one with a sticky note. "I didn't know how to say it out loud so I wrote it down, kinda.. haha"

You unfold the sticky note once, then twice. Inside, in his messy handwriting, reads: "If I was smart, I’d know how to tell ya this right. But I’m not. So here’s the truth: Tuesdays stopped being about extra credit a long time ago. I don’t get math. But I get you. And that’s the only thing I actually wanna understand.”

He’s looking anywhere but at you, tapping his fingers on the lid of his cup. “So... if you feel the same, maybe let me take you somewhere that isn’t a library next time?”

I'm actually too tired to write more but lmk if y'all want a genshin version, reblogs are appreciated!! I just wanna see if this does well though 🤧🤧.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu au #bokuto koutarou #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto kotaro x you #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x you

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thesleepyfable · 9 months ago

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~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 17: ~

From Glasgow to Braemer:

It's time for the rest of the McLearys to have the spotlight. And you know what that means? No bold or italic text. Feels weird...

TW: Symptoms of depression.

Part 18:

If you took Suze's book from her and changed the bookmark to another page before handing it back, she wouldn't have noticed. She just stared at the words, not taking anything in. Her mind hasn't stopped racing since the phone call, but she put on a brave face for the girls, who sat across from her.

The train ride was long, and a part of Suze wished she'd risk taking the car despite its oil leak. They had to travel through Stirling and Dundee before changing over as Aberdeen for the final stretch. Whilst this was a growing sorce of anxiety for her, Cait and Maidie saw it as an adventure. Cait covered her mouth and made noises akin to a tannoy coming on. 'And if you look to your left, you'll see a cow.'

Maidie did the same. 'First passenger to see a brown cow, wins the last White Mice-' Cait took the sweet and shoved it in her mouth. 'Hey! Mummy, Caitie took the last White Mice!'

'It's White Mouse, Mads.'

'But it wasn't plural.'

'Yes, it is!'

'Cait, you've lost window seat privileges. Swap with your sister.' Suze's voice was a drone, and she didn't look up from her book, but Cait complied with a groan whilst Maidie laughed in her small victory.

Everyone fell quiet after that. Suze continued to stare at her page - the same one she's been staring at for the past twenty minutes - and the girls had picked up on this. They knew their mum loved to read and would often make comments to herself, so seeing her being quiet made them uneasy. After her little sulk, Cait spoke up.

'Are you still mad at dad?'

It took Suze a moment to notice Cait was talking to her. 'I might be.'

'Are you gonna fight again?'

'I hope not.'

'Can you not be so loud this time?'

'I said 'I hope not,' Cait. I'm not going to meet with your dad to pick a fight.'

'But you are still mad at him.' Suze didn't answer. She could feel her anxiety levels rise. She gripped her book tighter. The uneasy energy practically suffocated the trio. But one of Cait's negative traits was her nosey nature. She has to know everything. 'Is that a yes?'

'Look, Cait.' Suze sighed, put her book down on the table, and rubbed her temple. 'What Caz and I are going through is very adult, and I'm sorry you both heard anything.'

'But what did he do? You never told us.'

'He hurt someone when he should have just walked away.'

'Is that why the police keep coming around?'

At the mention of the police, Maidie lifted her legs onto the chair, hugged them, and began to disassociate. She couldn't describe it, but she knew she was sad. She has been since she heard the first argument from the flats' communal garden. Uncle Roy tried to distract her, but it didn't work. The girl was confused, then sad, and it's been that way since. It wasn't something Maidie could put into words. She could, and continues, to feel empty. Small things gave her moments of happiness, such as her Christmas presents and playing in the snow, or even seeing a herd of cows, but then that feeling came back. All she wanted was things to go back to normal. Cait and Suze's conversation went in one ear and out the other until the train came a slow stop, and the ticket holder began to walk down the aile, announcing their arrival.

'Attention, everyone! This stop is for Aberdeen. Please can all passengers gather your bags and make sure nothing is left behind.'

'Right, girls. Grab your things. We're gonna catch a bus.'

'We're not there yet?' Not that Cait minded. This the furthest she's been away from Glasgow.

'Well, think of all the things you can fill your scrapbook with.'

The three-quaters of the McLeary family stood at the connecting bus station, hand in hand. Crowds of people filed out from the station, leaving only a handful of people with them. Cait and Maidie noticed how they were mostly older people, and they dressed so differently to the adults in Glasgow. No one wore a suit or carried a briefcase. They'd already left. Maidie found herself staring at a man wearing a brown flatcap as he smoked a long pipe. Cait rocked herself back and forth on her feet, only glancing at the left when she saw a boy literally jump and land only an inch away from her. He didn't fall and had reached out for something over the pavement and caught it inches from the guttering if his clenched fist was anything to go by. Cait didn't jump, but she did pull a face. Suze and Maidie noticed the boy get to his feet but didn't pay him much mind.

He was older than the girls, about fourteen or fifteen years old, with copper hair, freckled complexion, and dark green eyes. But what stood out was his clothing. He seemed a little too formal, like he was going for a job interview for a nationwide company. He noticed the McLearys and smiled. 'Thank Christ, eh?' He opened his hand to reveal a black and green patterned marble.

'You collect marbles?' Cait asked.

'Yep. Dad says they'll be worth a fortune one day.' The boy pulled a tied duffle bag from his pocket that was nearly bursting from his collection. No wonder he nearly lost one. Cait's eyes lit up like a magpie finding a set of keys. She noticed a bright yellow one at the top of the pile. Her favourite colour. 'I'm going to meet him in Braemer.' That got Suze and Maidie's attention.

'Oh my Gosh. We're doing that, too!'

'Wait. So, you're also going to...?'

An elder woman began to approach from behind. Like Muir's mum, her age didn't affect her stride, even if she used a cane and appeared to be in her mid-70s. There wasn't a slouch in her posture as she carried her bag. Like the boy, she dressed too formally for a countryside visit.

'Jack Gibson!' She called, getting everyone's attention. 'I told you not to take your marbles out here. If you lose one, then it's gone forever, and I'm not replacing them.'

'Sorry gran, but,' he pointed to the McLearys. 'They're heading to the farm too.' Jack didn't know it, but his voice picked up the attention of another family. 'Where dad is.'

'Oh!' The elderly woman's eyes met with Suze. They exchanged a smile. 'Your husband was on The Beria?'

'That he was. Your son, too, I take it?'

'Hmm, hmm,' she nodded. 'He's a member of the drilling team. Please, call me Irene, and you've met Jack here. Did your husband call you last night?'

'I'm Suze, and this is Cait and Maidie. Say 'hello' girls.'

'Hi.'

'Hello...' In a family full of extroverts, Maidie was shy and would rather hide in her shadow. She barely looked up before clinging to Suze and using her height as a way to hide.

'Do you want to sit together on the train?' Jack asked, clearly happy to have someone to talk to close to his age. He loved his grandma, but she only had 'old people conversations,' which got to be boring after a while.

'He did,' Suze said over the children's ongoing conversation. 'I was surprised. Caz told me something happened to The Beria, and everyone had to leave.'

'Aye. Charlie said the same. But, some-'

'Excuse me?' A woman with a soft cockney approached the families. Like them, she had children beside her. Three boys, where the two youngest were twins, whilst the third was Jack's age. They all dressed more appropriately for the environment, with thick blazers and high polo necks and all carried matching backpacks. Their mother didn't seem to have a strand of hair out of place, but also not a single bit of meat on her bones. Her coat practically hung off her shoulders, and her coat belt wasn't doing much by means of support. 'But, did you mention a farm and The Beria?'

Everyone shared a look of surprise. No one spoke a word and allowed their eyes to do the talking. Only the engine from the approaching bus broke the silence. What could have happened to the men to make their families travel to them? Why couldn't they go home?

'Shit...' was all Suze could say in disbelief.

Whilst the children shared stories and used the mostly empty double-decker bus as their new playground, Suze and Irene sat with the third lady. They had a couple of hours to spare and try to figure this out. Of course, no one had the actual answer in mind. 'So, Jennifer.' Jennifer Turner. 'Addair just told you something happened?'

'Yes, but he didn't say what. Just that there was an accident and everyone had to evacuate. At least those who survived.'

'Caz said the same. Then he said he'd explain everything when I got to the farm.'

'But why a farm? Why not Cadal's head offices?'

'Apparently, one of Charlie's coworkers' family owns that farm,' Irene said. 'He more than likely suggested it as a refuge.'

'But, a refuge from what?'

The air surrounding the women was thick. The type you could cut with a knife. Add some anxiety in too for good measure. Of course, they were nervous. It was good to hear their voices again, even if they did receive calls from the rig less than a week ago, but the phone calls from their perspective were to cryptid. Suze caught herself twiddling her thumbs. Anything around the topic of an oil rig was alien to her. She knew she had nothing to contribute and no questions to ask or answer. What made her anxious was that it seemed Irene and Jennifer had nothing to contribute either. But like Caz, she hated the silence. Just say something...

'Has Charlie or Addair ever had to evacuate before?'

'Charlie has.' Irene was quick to answer. She, too, hated the silence. 'Five years ago, he rang me, saying the rig caught fire on the lower deck.'

'And, what happened?'

'He just had to go and give a statement before returning to work after a few days. Nothing serious despite the circumstances.'

'And, he told you openly?'

'Yes...' Irene's voice trailed off. The pieces came together in her mind with a loud click, and her face went pale at the realisation. She held back any tears and distracted herself by cleaning her already spotless glasses on her coat. 'Still, he's alive. So that's all I care about.'

'Addair hasn't had to evacuate before, but there's been some close calls. What about you, Suze?'

'This is, or was, Caz's first time on a rig. He's the leccy, so he has a very different set of responsibilities compared to Addair and Charlie. I cannae help solve this mystery.'

'Alright, so, did... Did any of you notice something was odd in their voices? I can't put my finger on it, but Addair never sounds like that.'

'Maybe it was just shock?'

'Could be, but that would be a first.' Jennifer managed a small chuckle, but that was just to cope. Her eyes were still filled with worry. 'We'll find out, eventually.'

Suze forced a small smile and turned her attention to the window. She was done with this conversation. Outside was calm. Snowy fields stretched for as far as the eye could see. She just wanted to sleep and wake up back in bed with Caz by her side. Of course, what happened to The Beria was terrible, despite her lack of knowledge, but in complete honesty, Suze didn't care it could be floating at the bottom of the North Sea. Like everyone who worked on the rig, they didn't care either. For them, it was money. For Suze, it was holding out a lifeline for her marriage. This was Caz's final chance to make things right. One wish mostly came true.

'Suze? Suze?' Her eyes shot open, and her body stiffly leaned away from the steamed up window. Irene's soft voice woke her from her deep, dreamless sleep. 'We're here.'

'Shit,' Suze groaned the rubbed her stinging eyes. 'How long was I asleep for?'

'Only an hour.'

'Sorry...' Well, she partially was. She needed to close her eyes for a while. 'I made you two watch the girls.'

'Don't fret. They were a dream. Jennifer's outside with them now.'

One thing everyone picked up on was just how clean the air was. It wasn't thick with smoke from the industrial estates Suze and the girls lived by, or a thick blanket of grey in the sky that was often found its way London for the Turners. Instead, they were greeted to clear blue skies and thick snow that didn't turn to slush. There weren't many cars on the road, aside from the occasional taxi. The locals seemed happier to just walk everywhere, and going by the narrow cobbled streets that just barely fit the bus, it made sense. Complete culture shock, but now wasn't the time to take in the sights. The three families headed for the taxi ring and began to make their way to the farm.

By now, despite it only being just pass 3pm, Cait and Maidie had fallen asleep. Their adventure went on a little longer they expected, and they hadn't taken any pictures. Suze continued to watch the world from the window in silence. It had been a strange year for the McLearys, and now, she was ready to bring her man home.

Was she still mad, like Cait guessed? She'll find out in twenty minutes.

#My Writing #Still Wakes the Deep: Still Here AU #Still Wakes the Deep

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ghostf1ux · 5 months ago

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Aftershocks

Day 2: Holding Back Tears

Word Count: 5.5k

TW/CWs: Discussion of and implied/referenced rape/non-con

Part 1 || Part 2 (here)

-------------------------------------------------------

When Alice had been taken, she'd been angry and scared.

Angry, because she'd been stupid enough to get grabbed off the streets of Crime Alley.

Scared, because despite the work Rojo had been doing for years, she could never shake off those trust issues burned into her bones by living on the streets, and she didn't know if he would find her. Scared, because if he didn't find her fast enough, she knew she'd never be able to come back.

Scared, because despite being only nine years old, she was the oldest kid locked in this warehouse, from what she could tell. Which meant she had to be the strong one, protect the others.

It's what Rojo would do.

So that's what she did.

Even with the ropes burning her wrists with the tightness, even with the shitty bundle of cloth shoved in her mouth and kept there with a haphazardly slapped on piece of duct tape, she kept the others calm. She let the younger ones cuddle up to her, too sympathetic of their too-skinny, shivering forms to do anything else.

It took an hour, she thinks. Maybe two.

When the first man standing along the edges of the warehouse disappeared into the darkness, she smiles and motions for all the kids to close their eyes. Rojo always told them if they got in a situation like this, that once he got there, to close their eyes.

She knew why he always told them that. She's not stupid, and she's not naive, either.

Which is the reason why she keeps her eyes open, and the reason she herds everyone into the furthest corner of the cage they're all in when the guys keeping them there get distracted by seeing their friends get picked off one by one, seemingly by a shadow.

A few gunshots later she sees Rojo jump down from the rafters, a whirl of red and black so fast she can barely make out what he's doing before all the guys are quiet on the ground.

Then he's picking the lock of the cage open, Alice being the first to approach him with a pointed glance down at the gag. A little buzzing, staticky sound comes through his helmet, a sound she's familiar enough with by now to know it's a disbelieving chuckle.

“Are any of you hurt?” He asks first, head tilting towards the others to glance over them before returning his gaze to Alice's.

“Just some cuts, scrapes, malnourishment, and dehydration,” Alice responds. She rubs her wrists after he cuts the rope off, then moves to help the others up. “You can open your eyes now, it's okay, we're safe.”

“Rojo!” One of the kids exclaims, a five year old if Alice had to guess. He runs over to the crimelord-slash-vigilante, beaming brightly. “You came!”

“Of course I did, Alex. Promised I would. Sorry I took so long.” Rojo helps the rest of the kids out, getting their varied restraints off as he goes. “You all have safe places to go?”

A vague chorus of affirmatives meets his question, accompanied by a few negatives. The vigilante nods, turning to Alice.

“Can you take the little ones to the safehouse? I'll make sure they get home once I've wrapped this up.”

“You got it, boss.” Alice salutes seriously, sticking her tongue out at him when he ruffles her hair in response.

He watches the warehouse door while Alice gathers everyone up, and walks with them out the back way. As soon as Alice turns around to guide the younger ones, he disappears from view. She knows better than to think he isn't continuing to watch them, make sure they get out of the area safely, but even in spite of that she still tries to find him in the shadows of the building.

She's unsuccessful.

Turning away, she resigns herself to seeing some of the kids off and taking the ones who don't have a safe place to go to the closest of Rojo's shared safehouses, which are actually just apartments he's in charge of that he keeps stocked for kids that need a temporary place to stay. It's a long walk, but not too long. It takes them thirty minutes at a brisk walk to get there.

Alice gets the younger children settled in, fed, and hydrated, before resigning herself to staying up to keep watch while they sleep.

Thirty minutes pass.

Then forty-five.

Then an hour.

Alice's gut twists into something like dread when there's still no sign of Rojo's appearance. Dealing with the bad guys at the warehouse shouldn't be taking nearly this long.

She glances between the room housing the three small children and the window.

She hesitates.

She lifts the window glass as gently as possible before speed-walking back to the warehouse, switchblade clutched in her hand. Just in case.

A dark van comes driving around the corner and Alice leaps behind the closest hiding spot, holding her breath and flicking the blade out. The van meanders past, not slow enough to be looking for victims, just a little faster than the average car would be driving.

But it came from the direction of the warehouse.

Something niggles in the back of her mind, telling her this is important. As soon as the van passes her, she peeks over the edge of the dumpster to get a glimpse of the license plate. In the darkness she can make out the first couple symbols, but the shadows make it impossible to see the rest.

Repeating the letters over in her head like a mantra, she decides to forego subtlety and sprint the rest of the way to the warehouse once the van is out of sight.

When she gets there it's quiet. Silent. It crawls across her skin, but she steels herself, readies her blade, and pushes carefully through the back door into the warehouse.

Contrary to when Alice left, it's barren. The cage is still there, but the bodies Rojo left behind are gone, not even the drops and small pools of blood that should still be here from the fight before are left. It's like the whole place was wiped clean and nothing ever happened.

Even the cage is pushed back further into the shadows of the random crates, shitty tarps left half draped over them.

“Rojo? You here?” Alice calls out tentatively, looking around slowly. Only her own echoing voice answers her, before fizzling out.

Again, quiet. Way too quiet. Empty-quiet.

Walking forward slowly, she sticks near the edges of the crates lining the walls as she scans the rest of the room for anything.

The clatter of something sliding against concrete makes Alice flinch in surprise, whirling around towards the source of the noise. Her breathing is heavy with anticipation– eyes wide as she searches for the sound.

She freezes when she sees the gun on the ground. It wasn't there before. Slowly, the blade lowers as she takes it in. It's big, and dark, with slightly glowing red accents and details on it. Special attachments are fitted to it. When she gently picks it up and flicks the safety back on, it's a lot heavier than it looks.

This is a very specific gun Alice has only ever seen one person wield.

This is Rojo's gun.

He isn't here.

She (safely) clutches the gun to her chest, running out the door to see the tire tracks in the slightly muddy front road.

Something went wrong.

They took him.

And she's the only one who knows.

------------------------

Dick groans dramatically as Tim continues rambling over the comm line in his ear, swerving around a car going too slow for his taste.

“Baby bird, I don't need you to re-explain the reason I shouldn't just eat sugary cereal for breakfast. I am aware of the nutrient factors and whatever and I've decided that I deserve that treat in my life,” Dick argues cheerily, a grin plastered across his face. He can hear Tim's exasperated eye roll, despite the fact that it's silent. It's about vibes.

“Okay, but you shouldn't also have it for dinner,” Tim sighs tiredly, like he's had this argument several times before. That's because he has. Dick doesn't know why he keeps trying.

“Maybe you just need a little more joy and whimsy in your life.” Dick shrugs, working the stray strand of hair stuck on the edge of his domino out of it. Tim mocks him in the very little-brotherly way he picked up from Jason as they speed down the main border street next to the Bowery, heading towards Crime Alley and then Bristol.

“Whatever. When you keel over because you've had too much sugar, don't come crying to me– fUCKING CHRIST–”

Both vigilantes startle when a kid runs out of the Alley and into the street just ahead of them– tires skidding loudly on the asphalt as they have to swerve opposite ways to miss her, just barely not crashing their bikes.

Dick breathes out a heavy sigh, before hopping off his bike to face the kid. “Hey, that's pretty dangerous, maybe look both ways before you–”

“You have to help him!” The girl cries, running up to Dick with wide, scared eyes. She's heaving for breath and keeping something tucked close to her chest, hidden under her jacket. He crouches down to her level just as Tim jogs over, looking a little wary and confused.

“Help who?” Dick rests his elbows on his knees, looking up at the– she's gotta be less than ten years old– girl. She unfurls her jacket and hands him something metal and heavy and handle first– a gun. A very recognizable gun.

“Rojo saved us and then he didn't come back,” she explains, wiping her eyes with her sleeve furiously as she tries to catch her breath. “They took him– there– there was a van leaving the warehouse. When he didn't come back I went to look for him because he always makes sure everyone gets home and it had been too long and–”

“Hey, hey, easy, we'll find him,” Dick assures her, ignoring the spike of anxiety in his stomach in favor of handing the custom black and red Jericho 941 off to Tim, who's speaking lowly into his comm. “Can you show me which warehouse it was?”

------------------------

When Dick and Tim get there to investigate, it's both worrying and disappointing. Between the distinct lack of evidence, the partial plate they were able to get from Alice before sending her to Jason's community safehouse, and the lack of cameras in Crime Alley that make tracking the van impossible, it wasn't looking good.

Oracle managed to remotely activate the tracker on his helmet, but it was just a decoy location that served to throw the Bats off the tail. All they found was his mask and domino, in perfect condition, sitting on a table in a nondescript basement under a shady looking store that was probably a front for money laundering. No note, no ransom, nothing. They just took him and left without a trace.

That fact only made Dick's anxiety about the whole situation worse.

It took hours before they found anything. They had to resort to locating all of Jason's known enemies, then figure out which ones had the means to pull this off, then deduce who would actually have the balls to try it.

His list of enemies is long.

Thankfully, most are dead or out of commission, making the process of going down the list a whole lot quicker. Between everyone who had access to anything, they were able to narrow down the list to a few handfuls of people.

That being said, all of them either couldn't have done it or wouldn't have done it.

Which, again, leaves them with nothing.

And then Tim had recognized one of the mob names from a case he was working on after Jason had supposedly dismantled them. Looking further into it, it seemed he only killed the leader before having to get out before finishing the job, for whatever reason. A quick call to Talia tells them that it went down during the time he had been on the run from the League, and that the mob was under Ra's’ control at the time. After that, the mob, located in Russia, had gone dark. Intel said the main compound was blown to smithereens and not a soul survived it.

She also informed them of the nature of many of the members of this mob. It was possible one of the members’ meta abilities had led them to survive.

After that, they took to investigating each known member of the mob that had been there, narrowed it down to the metas, and then scoured every source of intel they had for those names and faces.

Thankfully, it wasn't too long of a list, and they managed to get a couple hits. None had been spotted anywhere near Gotham in recent time, but there was one who hadn't been spotted anywhere in the past couple weeks.

Following the money trail from him was done easily enough, and then they were able to find the transport Jason had been taken in.

It was at this point Dick and Tim headed back out in the vaguely same direction the mobsters were going while Babs combed through what footage she could find to track them down.

Eventually, they found the location. In a grand total of six and a half hours, give or take, they finally found Jason.

Hopefully.

There were no guards posted outside the derelict house, but that really doesn't mean anything, besides the fact that they have some vague amount of intellect. They circle around to the back, starting on the second floor.

Sneaking through the window proves to be the best plan when they're able to soundlessly take out the few armed guards up there. Immediately they notice the unnatural cold that persists within the building, chilling them to the bone despite the very-much-not-winter-weather outside.

Within the next minutes, the brothers are systematically taking out each goon one by one.

At least, until they get to the hallway to the basement.

It's heavily guarded, five different men standing outside it. They all carry weapons, though some have been flying carelessly to the side. Blunt weapons with little splashes of blood, from what Dick can tell through the night vision of his domino lenses.

Silently, he gives Tim a countdown before rolling a smoke pellet into the room and flinging himself in as soon as it goes off. The smaller vigilante is right behind, covering Dick's back while he flips and sounds between the men in the cramped space. He doesn't even bother trying to spare them the trip to the hospital, not when his little brother's life is on the line.

As soon as they're all knocked out cold, Dick throws the basement door open, rushes down the stairs, and throws the (much more expensive and way heavier) second door open as well.

He freezes, eyes widening and blood running cold while he tries to take in the scene in front of him.

Immediately, his eyes lock on Jason.

Jason, who’s hanging from his wrists, blood cascading down his arms from whatever wounds are beneath the cuffs.

Jason, who’s trembling and shaking erratically and involuntarily, broken little sounds he’d never make in a million years slipping between his lips.

Jason, who’s been stripped of everything except his pants, who’s injuries are on clear display to anyone that so much as glances at him, blood pooling around his feet.

Jason, who’s covered in so many scratches that are closer to gouges that ooze blood in steady streams, marks that lead to the burned in handprints and fucking bite marks across his waist, his chest, his arms, his shoulders, his fucking neck–

The man holding Jason– his brother, his fucking little brother– is barely a blur of a figure behind his little brother. Dick doesn’t see, doesn’t process anything past the sight of Jason’s twitching and squirming, his own body fighting him as little orange sparks of electricity dance over the surface of his skin. They’re barely visible, but Dick can still make them out, make out the little involuntary flinches when one of the bolts touches a hidden injury under his skin.

At some point, Tim pushes into the room behind him. The guy who has Jason shifts his grip from his hips– a placement that makes Dick’s skin crawl and his rage spike, hands shaking with the effort of holding himself back– to grabbing Jason’s hair and yanking his head back, holding a wicked-looking knife to his throat. Tim falters, and Dick can feel the way he glances at him for help but all Dick sees is the arc of electricity get bigger– stronger–

And then Jason cries– sobs, his voice hoarse and broken and in so, so much agony.

Dick’s will, his fraying thread of self restraint in the delicate situation, snaps.

In the next moment he’s flying across the room, ripping the knife out of the man’s hand and stabbing it through his wrist– the one holding Jason back by his hair. He screams, or, at least, Dick thinks he does. He doesn’t really know.

Not when his fists are pummelling into the guy’s face, his ribs, anywhere he can hit to cause damage, to cause pain.

Not when he can feel those phantom hands tracing over his own body, an all-too vivid memory of rain pattering against his face.

Not when the guy is unconscious on the ground and Dick keeps going, because his rage burns hot and fiery in his veins and he can’t seem to actually see the face below him.

Not when he can hear her words echoing in his ears, panic and disgust twisting painfully in his stomach as his own body is helpless to push her off, to push her away, to do anything to stop it, to get away–

“–ing! Hold him up, I need to get the shackles off.”

Dick blinks and he can finally see the mess of the man below him, barely breathing. He blinks again, turning his gaze up to Tim, who’s holding his shoulders and meeting his gaze with a strange, panicked and worried intensity he never lets show in the field unless someone is gravely injured. He points back to Jason with his words, who’s gone completely limp despite the clear pain it causes him. His first little brother breathes out a slow, stuttered, despaired keen, muscles twitching under his skin as if he wants to reach out towards them. His shaking– shivering, rather– is so violent and painful it makes Dick choke out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob, scrambling away from the body to get to Jason.

Quick fingers take care of the blindfold, but all it reveals is tear-streaked closed eyes, squeezed so tight it has to be in reflex to the pain. Then he’s carefully, gently embracing and lifting him, mindful of the injuries he can see and feel beneath Jason’s skin. He flinches despite it, another whimper accompanying the action. Dick can feel his breathing– already fluttery, erratic, and painful just to listen to– speed up dramatically, but Dick just shushes him calmly, combing his fingers through his little brother’s hair as Jason coughs weakly.

“Shh, shh, I’ve got you, we’ve got you, little wing, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, you’re safe now,” Dick murmurs, trying to keep his anger and panic and worry out of his voice in some attempt to be comforting. He’s usually so much better at this, having been doing it since he was nine years old and working the streets as Robin, but when it comes to family…

A few tense moments pass while Tim works diligently on the best way to get the cuffs off before Jason weakly– so weakly– tucks his face into the crook of Dick’s neck with a shuddering breath thick with tears he doesn’t have the strength to shed. He smooths his free hand through Jason’s hair, smoothing the sweat-soaked locks out of his face.

“Fucking piece of shit put fucking prongs in these cuffs just to torture him a little more– I swear to god if he isn’t already dead he fucking will be–”

Dick glances up at Tim with a pointed look, the boy just giving him a deadpan stare in response once he notices Dick’s look.

“I’m not calling an ambulance for him. I don’t care about B’s rule,” Tim snaps quietly, mindful of how his volume makes Jason react. Dick raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything in response. He watches Tim as he unlocks the first cuff, noticing the high-strung tension in his body, the slightly jerky movements that are usually fluid and smooth, the way his brow is furrowed in concentration when he’s trying to focus on one thought instead of the unwanted ones trying to flying through his head.

Why does it seem like this is personal for him? Past it just being their family.

Personal in the same way it’s personal for Dick.

He subconsciously tightens his grip on Jason when the idea crosses his mind, gut twisting. Surely Tim wasn’t–?

No.

Right?

But then, Tim was never one to share with them, especially in a family as emotionally repressed as this one, where it always seemed weakness wasn’t an option (thanks for that mentality, B). It’s possible he could’ve just not told them… god knows Dick doesn’t, hasn’t.

Fuck.

Dick startles out of his train of thought when Jason’s second wrist is released and he sags bonelessly into his chest, briefly tensing, twitching and spasming, before going limp again. Dick nods to Tim to help him carry Jason up the stairs, which is done quickly and gently as possible. There’s no furniture Dick wants to touch with a ten foot pole, so they just lay Jason down on the ground, head pillowed by Dick’s legs from where he’s sitting leaned against the wall with his legs bent.

He checks Jason’s pulse and breathing, both fast and fluttery, but not in dangerous levels. Tim gets started on wrapping his wrists, while Dick returns to threading his fingers through Jason’s hair in that way he’s never said he enjoys, but everyone knows he does.

“Hey, hey, open your eyes, Jay. Come on, stay with me here,” he pleads quietly, hoping to keep him from falling asleep just yet.

Slowly, bright teal eyes blink blearily open, finding Dick’s face immediately. He breathes out a sigh of relief, smiling down at him. Jason’s gaze flicks over to Tim, who meets his eyes for a few moments before nodding to himself and returning to wrapping Jason’s wounds.

Briefly, Dick panics when his eyes slide shut and his head lolls listlessly into Dick’s abdomen, but it’s washed away when he recognizes the slower breathing pattern of sleep. No surprise he’s exhausted, after what he went through.

Tim tends to the worst of his injuries while Dick holds him, keeping him warm in the cold house. Not too much longer later, the Batmobile arrives and the two of them get Jason loaded in.

He’s in and out for the whole ride back, drifting between barely awake and fully asleep.

Back in the medbay of the Batcave, both Dick and Tim help Alfred get Jason changed and help dress his injuries.

He just barely manages to keep the bile in his stomach when he’s forced to actually dress the handprints and the bite marks.

By the look on Tim’s face the whole time, he guesses he’s having the same struggle.

------------------------

Consciousness comes back to Jason in broken, foggy pieces. Sharp, but unclear.

He knows he hurts. He’s in pain. He’s cold. His nerves are still jittery and twitchy.

He doesn’t know why.

And then it all slams into him like a fucking truck and he throws himself out of– where is he? Laying on something vaguely soft, rapid beeping in the background that abruptly shifts to a long whine that grates on his ears, needling into his skull and it hurts, it hurts so much, so he tries to back away from it– tripping and stumbling over whatever else is in the room, ignoring the pinpricks of pain over his otherwise trembling body.

“Jay– Jason– Jason!” A voice yells worriedly, close, far too close. He flinches, pressing himself further back into the corner. There’s so much– sound, noise, smells, feeling– whatever he’s wearing scratches painfully against his chest and back, and suddenly he can hear that voice again and those hands on his body and he just wants people to stop fucking touching him–

“Little wing, I need you to open your eyes,” a different voice coaxes, softer than the other one. “You’re safe, you’re in control here, okay? No one’s going to do anything you don’t want them to. Open your eyes for me, please.”

Jason slowly, cautiously flutters his eyes open, not even aware they were closed. A kind face smiles encouragingly back at him, dark blue eyes searching his tentatively.

“There you go. Can you breathe with me? We’re in the Cave, it’s just me and Tim right now. Deep breaths for me, little wing,” Dick murmurs soothingly, exaggerating his own breathing for him to follow. He tries, once he manages to actually focus on it, but it’s hard, god it’s hard because his heart is still beating out of his chest and every instinct in him is screaming at him to move, to fight, to hide, to get away even though somewhere in his mind he knows he’s safe.

Dick seems to see something in his curled up form– when did he end up on the ground with his arms wrapped around himself?– because he shuffles back about a foot and it immediately makes something in Jason’s chest a little lighter, a little less constricting. He finds himself able to follow the pattern, heart slowing down with the more even breaths.

Once he has a handle on his own thoughts, he averts his gaze from Dick’s and takes in the room. Now that he’s not panicking, he can easily recognize it as the Medbay in the Bat Cave. Several cots line the walls, various pieces of medical equipment are scattered around, and the place is pristine as always.

Except for the path of destruction caused by his panic to the corner of the room, of course. Tim stands by what he guesses is his cot, the furthest one from the door. There are medical supplies strewn about the cot itself, mostly bandages and various antibiotic and burn creams.

Well. That explains a lot.

He lets himself relax a bit, unfolding slightly from his little ball but keeping his arms wrapped around his mostly bandaged torso.

“How– How long has it been?” He asks, voice scratchy and hoarse. Tim moves in the background, setting a glass of water with a straw a couple feet away and sliding it towards him.

“We found you yesterday after the sun rose, and you’ve been out since. Technically it was earlier today but it’s past midnight, so.”

Dick shrugs, keeping a sort of easy air around him despite the tension threading through his muscles. “No one’s left for patrol yet. I was gonna stay in, and Tim has stuff to work on at the computer.”

Jason hums, taking careful sips from the water. They fall into a sort of awkward, loaded silence that no one really wants to break.

“We, uh. Can we finish up the bandages?” Tim finally asks. Jason tenses up just at the idea, pressing back into the wall. “If we don’t, it’s more likely to leave scars or get infected…”

He scoffs sardonically, forcing himself to his feet. “Sure, yeah, whatever, Timbit. Just make it quick.”

Jason settles back on the cot, sitting cross-legged and facing one of the long sides so they can both have enough room to do whatever it is you need to do. He focuses on a breathing pattern as they tread closer and tentatively resume what they were doing prior to his little freak out, dutifully ignoring the way his skin prickles uncomfortably and his whole body tenses just at their proximity. He definitely ignores how each touch– half a moment of contact, barely even a brush against his skin– nearly causes him to flinch away and makes his eyes sting as he forces himself to remain relatively still.

Fuck. Seriously, he’s been through far worse, why the hell does he feel like sobbing?

He tilts his chin up at Dick’s prompting so they can re-bandage his neck, biting the inside of his lip hard enough for it to bleed in an attempt to keep his eyes from betraying him.

He’s not angry, he’s certainly not sad, so why the hell does his body feel the need to do this to him?

It’s stupid, that’s what it is. His childhood on the streets was worse than this. The Joker was worse than this. Hell, the Pit was definitely worse than this. That’s not even counting having to dig his way out of his own grave– that he could definitely understand wanting to cry about. That fucking sucked.

But he wasn’t even there for that long. Some electrocution, some freezing, and maybe he really did want to die there for a hot second but that’s besides the point because it’s a coin flip whether he feels like that on any given day. Really, it’s a fifty-fifty whether he wants to die or if he feels like he’s already dead.

Maybe that says something about him.

He dismisses the thought with a suspiciously choked half-scoff, rapidly blinking his eyes. Dick pulls back, trying to meet his gaze, but he averts it before he can.

“Jay, you… you know you’re allowed to fall apart, right? Especially about something like this, you–”

“Don’t fucking tell me that, Goldie,” Jason snaps, pulling away from them both to curl back up at the head of the bed. Neither try to stop him, glancing between him and each other.

“I’m just saying, we’re here for you. That’s what family does, we help pick up the pieces when we fall apart.”

He rolls his eyes, fixing his glare on a random crack between the tiles on the floor of the Medbay. “Whatever. Look, I’m fine, okay? Don’t make a big deal out of something that isn’t a big deal. I’ve had far worse. I grew up on the streets, trust me, this isn’t my first fucking rodeo.”

The other two exchange glances again.

“I think what he’s trying to say is that we get it,” Tim tries carefully. That makes Jason’s attention snap to the two of them, scanning them both. Slightly uncomfortable, but no lies. He growls, deep in his chest, a flare of familiar protective rage surging in his chest.

“Who?”

Tim answers first. “Ra’s’ sister, when I was… looking for B. It didn’t actually– I wasn’t– Cass got there in time,” he finally gets out. It doesn’t really help the rage, but it does make him relax slightly.

Dick, on the other hand, is uncharacteristically silent, hands fidgeting. Anxiety is written into every line on his face. Jason and Tim stay silent, waiting for him to speak.

“She– she’s in jail, now. For something else. But she’s already gone,” Dick finally says, wringing his hands.

Of course it’s at this moment all three flinch as the door slides open, revealing Bruce in the suit, sans cowl. He has a bundle of fabric in his arms, which he sets at the foot of the bed. He glances at the three of them, then clears his throat awkwardly.

“I… brought all your favorite clothes you still have here. I wasn’t sure which ones you might want.”

Jason blinks, slowly reaching out to grab his favorite Wonder Woman hoodie from the pile and slipping it on with only a little difficulty. It’s then that he realizes that it’s not just his stuff in the pile. He sends a questioning look at Bruce, who has thinly-veiled pain in his eyes.

“I figured I’d bring down things for all of you. If… if any of you want to, to talk about it. Someday. I understand.”

It’s the three boys’ turn to look at him incredulously, Tim opening his mouth to ask the question they’re all thinking before a different, haughty voice echoes across the cave.

“Father! Oracle has requested you at the computer, she insists she must show you something relating to the case,” Damian calls from further into the cave, most likely by the computer. Jason notes the brief stiffness, and the forced relaxing of muscles, before it clicks.

Oh, he was going to put his All-Blades to good use. Demon heads are going to roll.

Bruce clears his throat again, stiffly making his way out while the three eldest brothers of the family exchange glances, collectively agree to not talk about it, and Tim follows them out. Dick grabs his own hoodie from the pile, then turns to Jason with a small smile.

“If you want a distraction, I bet we could kidnap Tim for some Mario Kart?”

Jason huffs a reluctant laugh, waving him off. “Sure, go get the baby bird. Wait until B leaves though. I’d… like a second. Alone.”

“Of course,” Dick smiles, stepping towards the exit. “We’ll be out here, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah. Scram.”

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