#Sorry Julian

[walkingstackofbooks]

Doctor Bashir I Presume AU where Julian transitioned during the Academy but never told his parents: (This totally got out of hand I'm sorryyyy 😅)

"What did you do to your lovely hair?" - Amsha's first reaction to seeing him in Sisko's office (He always wore a wig to visit them. This is exactly why.)

"You must be very proud of your son." "Our... son?"

Richard and Amsha trying to hide how unimpressed they are because they know it's socially unacceptable to be transphobic

(Not that they'd call themselves transphobic, of course. They have trans friends! But with Jules, well, it's different, isn't it? With all that they spent on her enhancements, there's no way her DNA would have been left with any... imperfections. And when it comes down to it, their her parents - they know her better than she knows herself.)

Amsha complaining at dinner how Julian hadn't prepared them for the shock of seeing him. "How could you do this to us? We were so embarrassed in front of your Captain."

(As if it wasn't them in the first place who had showed up totally unannounced 🙃🙄)

Richard saying that if Julian had told them he'd been having these feelings from the beginning, they might have been able to get help for him before he ruined his body.

Richard (angrily): "You've got some nerve, asking us to be careful with this Zimmerman chap! With the sort of risks you've been taking? Don't you realise how easily you could have been found out, all for some unnecessary surgery?" Julian (painfully restrained): "I don't expect you to understand, father, but it was necessary for me." Amsha (sadly): "Your father's just looking out for you, Jules. Try to understand that."

Misunderstandings abound when talking to Miles*, but eventually it's cleared up that Julian's parents are shit.

Cue a lot of anger (and a lot more anger than Julian thought anyone would feel. Because, you know, when you grow up knowing that your parents aren't the most accepting people, you figure that's just what some parents are like, rather than assuming yours are among the most outliers of outliers...)

Miles tells Julian he should talk to Sisko and get his parents kicked off the station. Julian's like, "That's a nice idea, but the captain can't just do that unless he's got a good reason" and Miles is like "You do know that persistently misgendering someone is literally a Federation hate crime, right?"

The Bashirs of course deny any wrongdoing. Richard gets angry, claiming "it's a family matter". Amsha starts crying about how unfair it all is.

"You have to understand, Captain -- she's been our daughter for over thirty years. We know Jules is angry with us but please, she knows that we love her really. If you could just let us talk to her--"

Sisko is fuming. "I might believe you cared if you had made any attempt to get Julian's gender right." "You don't know what it's like!" Amsha protests. "This is all so sudden!" "I know exactly what it's like!" Ben snaps back. "And I'll tell you, I didn't for a second consider telling Jake that I didn't believe him, or that he must be mistaken, or that he needed to be patient with my mistakes. In fact, I made sure as hell that I didn't make mistakes. There's no case here, as far as I'm concerned. You're both confined to quarters until the next shuttle arrives."

So I guess in the aftermath of all that, Julian's enhancements never get revealed. Even if the Bashirs were to make an apology, Miles would shut the hologram down, now he knows what Julian's parents are like.

But I think they probably feel too betrayed to try and make an apology, even a bad one.

So yeah, they're forced off the station and Julina actually gets, like, support and stuff from his friends!

Also, for like, a month afterwards, all of Molly and Yoshi's bedtime stories have trans main characters because Miles is low-key anxious about them ever starting to feel like Julian had about it not being okay.

(Keiko catches onto this and just happens to invite Julian around one night when it's storytime. Molly gets Julian to read her book. It's cute.)

(Afterwards, he enthuses about how he wishes he'd had books like that when he was a kid. And that's... sad.)

About two months later, when enough time has passed that Jadzia can pretend this isn't about Julian (although it totally is), Jadzia gets Quark and Jake involved in digging up some Earth history and holding a stationwide Pride celebration. (Julian appreciates both the gesture and the pretense.)

Garak makes some huffy comment to Julian about how "of course the Federation would have a whole festival devoted to degeneracy". Julian rolls his eyes and is about to take the bait, when he suddenly realises, "Wait, didn't Dukat once accuse you of being a degenerate?" "Wholly unsubstantiated claims, my dear Doctor." "Of course," Julian agrees sagely. "Although," he adds, a grin dancing across his lips, "if you ever find yourself wanting to substantiate them, Mister Garak..."

*The Misunderstandings:

"No offense, Julian, but you look wrecked. Is everything okay?"

Not meeting Miles' eyes, Julian takes a breath, as if to compose himself. "Let's just say that my parents are not exactly taking the news that I'm trans well."

In the moment, Miles chooses the wrong part of the sentence to focus on. "Wait, you're trans?"

Julian shrugs unhappily, a flash of anxiety passing over his face. "That doesn't... change how you feel about me, does it?" he asks hesitantly.

"'Course not!" replies Miles. "It's a bit of a surprise, I'll give you that, but-- No, sorry, I mean: what pronouns do you want me to use? Do you want to go by a different name?"

Before Julian can respond, Miles has another thought. "And what do you mean, your parents aren't taking this well? You're their son! -- Sorry, daughter-- offspring-- their child, I mean--"

"Hold up, Chief," Julian says, shaking his head in bemusement. "I'm still Julian. I'm very much a man. My parents just didn't know that until... yesterday."

"You never told them?"

"No."

"For how long?"

"Twelve years, if you're counting from when I first came out. More like twenty if you go from when I first knew."

"Jesus." Miles runs a hand through his hair. "Well, at least that explains why they're mad. That's an awfully big thing to hide from your own parents, Julian."

Julian grimaces. "I know," he replies, looking down. "It wasn't exactly brave, I guess but... I don't know. It was easier to cope with being misgendered because they didn't know, than being misgendered on purpose, you know?"

Being misgendered on purpose? This is such a bizarre statement, so at odds with what Miles knows of the world, that it takes him a minute to try and wrap his head around it.

"I'm lost, I'm afraid," he says eventually. "I can't, um-- Julian, what happened when you told your parents?"

[thisfuckingdork]

[oochilka]

the ugly stepsister

[the-forsakenlegionnaire]

"....So the Doc says yer one of his oldest friends." Vile seemed to be glaring, but it was hard to tell. "....Ya don't seem the type."

"Fearsome words for a pint-sized machine. To what do i owe the pleasure?" Julian definitively needed to surround himself with proper help. This yapper had everything of the has been trying to make itself scarier than he was.

[rotfallen]

"hey. gimme your arm." and before @soulsbetrayed can retaliate, tuvia's already grabbing him by the wrist. the bloodfiend sinks her teeth into her brother in blood with a snarl, sharp nails simultaneously digging into the flesh of julian's arm as she feeds.

[frakes]

most relatable character ➣ Julian Bashir STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE (1993-1999)

[mercury-prince]

Underground industrial electronic goth band about to drop the clingiest clangiest beep boop track in the gamma quadrant

[cuterefaction]

Can you imagine a wedding attended 90% by multiple Harry Kims? Adorable.

I know we didn't spend all that long with the crew of the Anaxamander but they give a really nice-if-made-almost-entirely-of-sass vibe. I hope they'll all be okay :)

[to-spirkly-go]

“In 2024, Spock and Kirk reunited. Across life and death, across timelines and universes, they always find their way back to each other. They are written in the stars, inevitable as gravity, eternal as the cosmos.

And then Bashir and Garak kissed with tongue in Lower Decks.”

“Okay, Grandma, let’s get you to bed…”

[cattrek]

what is julian texting our favourite simple tailor?

[seefasterdraws]

hug! that! captain!

[walkingstackofbooks]

Julian wasn't certain why, exactly, he was pulling away from Garak, but ever since their return for the gamma quadrant, that was definitly what he was doing. He'd never minded Garak's small, discrete touches before - in fact, he'd courted them: a hand on his back, the brush of their shoulders - but now, he found, he couldn't stand them.

Having no explanation for why, though, he took to avoiding the Cardassian entirely, rather than risk facing questions he could not answer. He ignored the growing guilt, too, for whatever reasons Garak would be coming up with for this new turn in their relationship. He was just taking time, he reasoned to himself, and that was fair enough, wasn't it?

On the other hand, Julian knew exactly why he was avoiding Miles. While he wondred if he was maybe overreacting, his friend's comment had cut him deeply, and it was obvious that Miles hadn't even thought twice about it. So it was logical, really, for Julian to take time off from their darts evenings and holosuite sessions. If Miles had found him difficult to get along with before, what would he make of this new Julian that had returned from the camp, who seemed to have had any light, positive thing ripped out of him by the Dominion?

--

His closest friends shut off from him, Julian found his refuge in Jadzia. Not purposefully - he'd assumed, with Worf's injuries, she'd be looking after her partner - but the Klingon, seemingly, hadn't wanted to be doted on, so Jadzia had found someone else to be her target. Namely, Julian.

He wasn't going to complain. Her hugs were warm and her smiles were soft and Julian could let his guard down, a little, around her. Not completely, of course - there were more than a few things he didn't want getting back to the captain, lest he find his leave of duty extended even further - but enough to allow him to feel truly relaxed, at times.

Quite quickly, it became normal for him to spend the evenings in her quarters, not really doing much, but not needing to do much, either. Worf often joined them— although, really, on those nights, Julian felt as though he were joining them, and wondered how much the Klingon resented his constant intrusions into his and Jadzia's alone time. Jadzia didn't stop asking him over, though, and Julian couldn't bring himself to refuse, no matter what Worf's unspoken feelings might be.

As it happened, he was mistaken, anyway. One night, Martok appeared for dinner, greeting Julian loudly and immediately taking the seat next to him. Julian stiffened, fearing the resurgence of memories from the camp, or that inexplicable urge to withdraw, that Martok's presence might bring out. Neither came, though, and he didn't even flinch when Martok brought a heavy hand to land on his shoulder. The evening all but flew by, and when it was time to leave, Julian surprised himself by accepting the Klingon's offer to walk him back to his quarters. He was quiet company - despite Julian's best efforts, he was still not good company, after the camp - but Martok was kind enough not to point this out.

The general became a regular guest after that, to Julian's muted delight. Muted, since in reality, it was more a dim awareness that Martok's presence pleased him, more than anything else. But even more than it did Jadzia, an unmistakeable sense of safety emanated off the large Klingon, and Julian could hardly believe that he was invited to share in it - and more, that all three of them seemed willing to put up with Julian, evening after evening.

He would find out much later that it was Worf's orchestrations that had brought Martok to their table - Worf the pragmatist, the romantic - who was already looking forward to the day when Jadzia might agree to join the House of Martok, and saw in Julian an opportunity to smooth the way. Jadzia laughed as she told him how her husband had hoped that Julian's admiration of Martok would rub off in her, and that his fondness for her would influence the general in return - and how apparently, Worf's plan had worked! Julian laughed too, glad to discover that he hadn't been quite as useless a guest as he'd imagined himself to be at the time.

--

After the debacle with his parents, and the discovery that his life hadn't actually imploded, Julian finally went to confront Miles. He couldn't quite figure out how he felt about the way Miles had been so supportive two nights before, but the fact was that Miles had been overwhelmingly supportive, even if Julian had only realised afterwards how much, once the shock had worn off enough for him to start thinking about anything other than his own feelings.

So he went to the chief's quarters and rang the chime, and Miles welcomed him in with a worried smile and an assurance that Keiko and the kids were all out and so did Julian want to talk? Are you alright?

Julian faced him bravely. "Do you think I'm difficult to get along with?" he asked.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't for Miles to straighten with a scowl, vibrating with anger, demanding, "Are people giving you trouble about your enhancements?"

Julian wasn't sure how to answer that, because yes of course some people had, but it wasn't that big a deal, and besides, that wasn't what he'd been asking. So he shook his head, backtracking.

"I meant— You said, the changeling was easier to get along with..."

In an instant, Miles' face had shuttered, falling completely. "Shit," he said, looking for all the world like Julian had just punched him in the gut. "Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

Julian nodded uncertainly.

"Fuck," said Miles, wiping a hand over his face. "Shit, Julian, it was a joke, it was— I never thought you'd take it seriously. If I'd have known... I'm sorry, Julian. God. I'm sorry."

A joke. Of course it had been a joke. That's what he and Miles did, joke and jibe and pretend their feelings ran no deeper than that. He really had been overreacting.

"Well, I don't know... it's pretty difficult to get along with someone who avoids you for weeks over a joke," he tried quipping, but his voice came out devoid of humour, and he winced as Miles' face fell even further.

"God, no, that's not what I meant at all - it was a stupid thing to say, I should have known that. You're not— that's not— You're my friend, Julian..."

Miles trailed off, seemingly unable to meet Julian's eyes. It was strange, his words should have made Julian feel better, but Julian wasn't sure that they had. His chest was still thrumming with anxiety, he still felt kind of tight and sick and damn it, earlier he'd known why Miles made him feel like that, but now— now he didn't.

"Fuck. It really upset you, didn't it?" Miles asked quietly. "But why— why tell me now? After all this time..?"

Julian shrugged. "I had to know," he said. "After my parents... you know. The other evening, some of the things you said - they just, I don't know. Seemed like something a friend would say—"

"Fuck," Miles said again. "Fuck, Julian. Shit, if you feel like that, I—"

He broke off, his face lighting up with an idea. "Julian?" he asked, quickly. "The research Zimmerman did on you - do you think he still has it? Do you think we could hack into it?"

"I-I don't know," stammered Julian, the sudden change in topic putting him at a loss. "Why?"

Miles shook his head. "I'll explain if I manage to do it," he said.

--

The next day, Julian got a message from Miles. I hate sending you this, it said, but I definitely couldn't do this in person. Attached was a audio clip, which, when he clicked on it, played Zimmerman's voice, then Miles'. This was the answer the the hacking question, then, Julian presumed.

He ended up playing it on repeat, feeling quite awful that he'd ever doubted his friend.

"...the truth is he's an extraordinary person. A real sense of honour and integrity, great sense of humour, warm, caring. You're sure he's not going to hear this?"

[hollis-art]

i saw someone spread hate to Keiko bc they were a Bashir/O'brien shipper, and i do NOT agree with that.

why would you ever say such things when this was always an option?

this is obviously what's happening in the show anyways

[startrek-villain]

This is like,, the third time Garashir went canon. I'm proud of them. Destiel levels of redundancy.

[luciosfanpage]

[froggieetmblr]

Quick one to celebrate the final season:“)