#Sophie gave me trust issues

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

Do you know that thing where you're feeling like crap but the productivity demons won't let you rest?

I finally worked on the mock up I cut out at the start of November and sort of lost track of after assembling the skirt. Will this backfire on me? Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

[svtellify]

kotlc: unraveled review [SPOILER WARNING]

keeper of the lost cities 9.5: unraveled by shannon messenger ★★★☆☆ *parts of the review were taken directly from my goodreads review of the book!

“I tried,” he told the empty room, wishing it made him feel like less of a failure.”

see, if you told me a year ago i'd sympathize with alvar and not mind reading about him, i'd assume you were trying to start a fight.

that being said: this wasn't a necessary book for the series. is it going to provide some helpful context going into book 10? sure. definitely. would it have also been better served as part of a post series anthology of short stories (see: keefe short story, fitz short story, tam short pov) that didn't quite fit into the series elsewhere? yeah. was it a cute short novel about my favorite character that expanded on a lot of what i've been waiting to see explored? also yeah.

before i continue, i want to add that i'm not the target audience of this series, not by a long shot. i was ten when i picked up the series in sixth grade, when only the first three books were out and had to suffer the wait for neverseen. i'm twenty one, and will have finished my master's degree before book ten comes out. i'd like to think i've grown up with the series, but i know that also means outgrowing the majority of the fanbase, since this is a kid's series. i hope the kids reading this can still find some value in my words though!

i'd argue that unraveled shoots itself in the foot a bit in terms of the series as a whole. kotlc is best told through sophie's perspective, because it's limited and lets us see the lost cities through the pov of someone else who's also equally new to it. unraveled breaks up that rhythm and lets us see our own world through keefe's eyes, as someone unfamiliar with it. it works, and it doesn't.

what unraveled does best, however, is drive home that while kotlc is told from sophie's perspective, it's very much more than just her story. keefe has equal stake in it, at this point, and it's only inevitable that they'll share custody of the rest of the story because of what's to come next. it's a story about the lost cities, about the change that needs to happen there, even in a species that's effectively immortal. a change that we've slowly witnessed two warring groups attempt to bring about.

(it's rather fitting given current political events, but i digress. kotlc is not a modern day political commentary, and i stand by it. the series took shape in the early 2010s and has meandered its way through the 2020s. it's applicable, but not intentional, if that makes sense.)

i loved that shannon tackled keefe's abuse directly, along with his trust issues and myriad of trauma. it's been building up and needed to be addressed so i'm glad we were able to see that.

it's also evident in unraveled that shannon's ready for something a little more mature (unlike let the sky fall.) writing-wise, and like jjk before it, i'm curious to see what kotlc would've looked like as a YA book with more room to explore it's darker themes. she does a great job with it as a middle grade series, but there's tones throughout unraveled that show better writing, so i look forward to book 10 and whatever her next project will be!

onto the annotations!

i have been waiting for someone to talk about this. and while i'm not like. alvar's number one fan now or anything, i think he was kind of the perfect person to talk about this. he's directly responsible for some of this, starting with trying to recruit keefe on numerous occasions and the role he played in keefe's involvement with the neverseen.

he's also fitz's brother. fitz, who's been a general disappoint at best to cruel at worst when it comes to keefe and his mom and his familial abuse. alvar might not understand all of it, but i'd like to think that he gave keefe a bit of closure on the vacker-keefe front. and on keefe's general guilt.

this is here purely because it hit like a gut punch. it's so simply written but i think we all need to hear it sometimes.

keefe being down bad for sophie is the funniest thing ever actually, but this is written so cutely ;(

a south indian dish name drop in a kotlc was not on my radar. i love it though?

it's a short book, there's not much more i think needs to be mentioned. it's good, nothing mind blowing, and the characters shine when shannon doesn't have to juggle the whole ensemble and then some. it did what it needed to⎯fill in some gaps that the cast expansion got in the way of and draw us back in for book 10. and it worked.

i wasn't particularly looking forward to this or dreading it⎯i've been too busy for either lately, but there's something very special about reading from a series you've grown up with, something so heartwarming about finding magic in a book series that wasn't necessarily written for your age group.

i don't want to make this too long, so i'll just say: i'm looking forward to book 10! i'll be well in the middle of med school secondaries and hopefully interviews by then, but it's a lovely reprieve to anticipate.

3.5 stars.

(also wanted to drop the kotlc playlist here for anyone interested in a series reread. catch me rereading the series when i'm out of the trenches of finals 🫡)

[somewhereincairparavel]

okay. So I've finished book 1 of keeper of the lost cities for the first time. And I'm loving this keefe dude already?? Like I never thought I'd like a fictional character so quickly. All it took was like one page for me to fall for him, I am aware that keefe is one of the most loved characters in the fandom, and I can see why (correct me if I'm wrong).

Also the book is a solid 9.5/10, the only thing I was frustrated about was probably the slight info dumping about the whole blackswan thing towards the end? because it took me like 3 reads to understand the whole situation, of course, we could just narrow it down to me being slow too, lol. But I'm VERY excited to continue reading the rest. So while we're at it, I'll put in my first impressions of the characters, so I can look back on it after I've read all the books, to see how much my perception has changed of them.

Sophie- i like her, she's really mature for her age, I keep forgetting that she's like 12 lmao. But she's well written, her emotions seem very raw and natural. Of course, she may seem overpowered but, I think that's the whole point of the story, she is supposed to be overpowered, so I don't mind and i wouldn't call her a Mary sue. Overall great protagonist, my girlie deserves a break tho, she got dumped in the hospital atleast 6 times lol.

Fitz- i actually think he's cool. I liked him better in the beginning of the story tho, I feel like afterwards, the dude kinda just disappeared a little? Keefe and Sophie seemed to have more private interaction than those two, and keefe literally only came by in the middle. But yeah, I feel like he had more of a personality in the start. Keefe and Dex, in my opinion had more personality in 5 minutes than fitz did the whole book, but I wouldn't judge so quickly, it's only the first book after all, Hopefully he'd have more page time in the later books. I still like him tho, just not as much as keefe.

Dex- Yeah he is such a typical best friend, I love him. His beef w the vackers is so funny lol I was relieved when Sophie stuck with him even after she became popular tho, also, he seems to have a crush on sophie right? It's kinda obvious, but overall friendship goals 10/10. I vocally "AWW-ed" after he said "are you kidding, i can't wait to tell everyone that you're my first friend" like I need a guy bestie like him :(

Alden- honestly, my heart warmed so much with his father-like dynamic with sophie tbh. He seemed to genuinely care about her well being, but I don't want to get too attached to him tho, just in case becomes a traitor or some shit later on, you can literally never tell with the adults lol. I've read enough books to back that up. But yeah, i really like him and della, the amount of reassuring hugs he gives sophie really heals me :(, They're like sophies 2nd (well, in her case, 3rd) parents. The amount of effort and lengths Alden put to get her out of trouble is actually sweet.

Elwin- This guy is such a W. He is like an adult keefe tbh. He is probably my favorite adult so far lol.

Cassius- I'm sorry, but Mr jerk face over here reminds me SO much of Lucius Malfoy??? Like ?? I feel so bad for Keefe, like poor baby leave him alone smh. I really wanna deck his royal highness in the face tbh.

Biana- absolutely loathed her in the beginning, she gave off such bad snob vibes lol but I love her now. I like the trope of two people forced to be friends w eachother by someone actually end up becoming friends. It's rather uncommon as far as I've read, atleast.

Grady and Edaline- is it bad that i thought they were going to be evil? Yeah I have so much trust issues, it's concerning. But yeah, they're both big W's, their backstory, their temporary contemplation to reject sophies adoption, everything aligned well with their backstory. Greatly written characters.

And last but not least, the king himself, Keefe- okay, he's like added to my list of fictional crushes now lol (along with Percy Jackson, Jason grace, Steve Harrington, chat noir, Eugene fitzherbert, edmund pevensie and Ravi singh ofc). How does sophie not have a fat crush on him, like- ma'am if you don't want him, I'll take him. But jokes aside, he feels like the most authentic character out of them all, tbh. Epitome of great writing. He was inserted to the story as this random dude that sophie runs into, and becomes an og in like 5 minutes. He is like a mix of Eugene from tangled, Kristoff from Frozen and chat noir from mlb all at the same time?? I cannot wait to see more of him and his backstory, especially with his parents. I know alot of people dislike the humorous guy with depression trope since it's overused, but I like how it played out on keefe, he uses school as an escape, which is very relatable.

Also, bonus, i LOVE the world building, the light leaping and all, very creative. I cannot wait to get my hands on book 2

[ichijager13]

Teach Me How to Be Loved

Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, Reiner Braun x Reader (past relationship), Jean Kristein x Reader (past relationship)

Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Jean Kristien, Reiner Braun, Carla Jager, Sophie Jäger

Tags: Unhealthy copping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating and a touch of sweet, lovable and non fuckboy Eren Jäger, German-speaking Eren.

This work is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs

I found this illustration on pinterest, credits to the artist

Updates on mondays and thursdays

Playlists : Reader’s POV, Eren’s POV

Summary

“I explained my hurt and still got hurt so I learned to stop talking”

They say you can’t break a broken heart, but how many times should a heart be broken to become immune? 

Believing she had her share of suffering; reader decides never to expect a tomorrow from her one-night stands and to close her heart for good. everything goes according to her plans until one day, she wakes up in his bed. 

His name is Eren Jäger and he is more than determined to pierce the hard rock ice covering her heart.

A/N: It’s been a while since I posted something, it was because of this fic. I came up with the idea over a month ago and started a draft but was too afraid to engage.

This work contains a detailed description of physical and verbal abuse, please read the tags.

Also, if you are a victim of any form of domestic abuse, please seek help. I know it’s not easy but it’s better than being stuck in this endless vicious cycle.

I also would like to thank you for all the support you give me and for the reactions. I hope you like this story because it means a lot to me. Stay safe please.

List of chapters

Chapter I  Cold heart and hands and aptitude

Chapter II  Cause I’ve got monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off

Chapter III Your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head

Chapter IV For a little piece of haven

Chapter V I've got much more than that, like my memories, I don't need that

Chapter VI I’m not looking for true love tonight

Chapter VII Fuck yeah, give it to me, this is Heaven, what I truly want

Chapter VIII Are you gonna tell me now? Are you gonna tell me later?

Chapter IX Don't cry about him, don't cry about him

Chapter X Cause there's a man that's in my past… there's a man that's still right here… he's real enough to touch in my darkest nights

Chapter XI What’s the worst, that could happen to a girl who’s already hurt?

Chapter XII When I'm in your arms, feel like I have it all  

Chapter XIII Heaven is a place on earth with you

Chapter XIV  I've got a burning desire for you

Chapter XV Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn

[fanficshiddles]

Necessary Evil, Chapter 5

Note: Mention of suicide.

Sarah was still riding on a high of adrenaline as Sophie was last to confess, then she joined everyone in the crowd. She hugged Sarah tightly and they were both smiling extensively.

‘Weirdly exhilarating, isn’t it?’ Sophie laughed.

‘It sure is.’ Sarah nodded in agreement. ‘I’m glad you’re still here, even if at the time it didn’t feel like you wanted to be saved, I’m glad your friend found you in time.’ She said softly as she gave Sophie another hug.

‘Thanks… It feels good to have finally shared it, aside from my friend, no one else knew about the attempt. If my parents ever find out though, they’d be broken.’ Sophie sighed, it felt like a weight was off her shoulders. She had tried to commit suicide when she was fifteen, thankfully a friend found her in time and got her to the hospital.

There was two people that had decided not to do it. Molly was one of them, who even after seeing Sarah and the others confess, she still couldn’t do it. Sarah wasn’t sure where she disappeared to, along with another girl who, while she did confess, didn’t trust everyone enough to catch her when she fell. So, Loki wouldn’t allow her to join, for her untrust. Sarah just assumed they’d been chucked out of the building and didn’t give them another thought.

‘I was a little worried that I was over-sharing, a bit extreme.’ Sarah said sheepishly to Matt and Hanna after everyone was told to enjoy the party by Loki.

‘Not at all. I hit a dog by accident with my car a few years ago, I was in such a panic I just drove off and left it… I heard later that it passed away. I felt awful, but sharing with everyone here helped me to get over it.’ Hanna shared.

‘I had anger issues when I was younger, I was ashamed that I had beat up my then girlfriend. I did get therapy to help get through my anger, but I’m not ashamed anymore. Loki and everyone here forgave me, and it’s helped me to move on. Helped me to realise that I can’t help who I am, but I can work on bettering myself.’ Matt said.

‘Jen had a baby about four years ago, but couldn’t cope so abandoned the baby outside of a hospital. Casey posted nude pictures of her boyfriend online after a nasty breakup, causing him to lose his job… What I’m trying to say is, that we all have something we were ashamed of, but it’s ok because we are only human. We make mistakes, it’s what we do in the present and the future that counts. And being around the right people.’ Hanna said.

Sarah nodded, she was surprised hearing these stories, but felt really accepted and that she might just have found where she belongs. ‘I never thought I’d be able to share my story with anyone, but it just kind of felt… right.’

‘That’s how you know you’re meant to be here, with us. As one of the family.’ Loki had sneaked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, giving her a squeeze as he spoke, making her jump slightly but she relaxed when she realised who it was, though her heart did flutter a little from his closeness.

‘Is there anything you need us to do tonight, Loki?’ Matt asked him.

‘No, not at all. I just want everyone to enjoy themselves tonight, get to know our new family.’ Loki smiled as he moved to stand next to Sarah.

‘I’ll drink to that!’ Hanna cheered and held up her drink.

Loki chuckled and turned to Sarah. ‘I see your cup is empty, come on, let’s get you another drink.’ He motioned towards the bar.

Sarah went with Loki to get a drink, getting a funny look and a wink from Sophie as she walked away, Sarah just shook her head at her.

Loki began pouring Sarah a drink, he’d noticed what she was drinking earlier. When he handed the cup to her, he let his fingers brush lightly against hers, making her skin tingle.

‘I was impressed with the way you stepped up earlier to go first. Tell me, did you do it for Molly?’ Loki asked as he began pouring himself his own drink.

‘I uhh… yeah, I felt a little bad for her so thought if I went first, it would help her to see it was ok to do. I’m sorry if that was wrong, if I spoke out of term.’ Sarah said sheepishly.

‘No, no, not at all. I thought it was very brave and kind of you to do, helping out someone in need. I get the feeling, that’s the kind of person you are, someone that goes out of their way to help another?’

Sarah found her cheeks heating up, she wasn’t able to maintain eye contact with him, he was rather intense.

‘Thank you. Yeah, I guess I do like to help people when they need, if I can help, that is.’

‘That’s a good quality to have. However, I am guessing sometimes people take advantage of that?’ Loki asked knowingly.

‘It has happened sometimes. I try and avoid those people now.’ Sarah shrugged.

Loki nodded. ‘There’s a fine line between helping people and making sure they don’t take advantage. If you ever have any issues with anyone here doing that, please come and talk to me. I’d like to think that all of your brothers and sisters won’t do that, but if they do, let me know.’ Loki reached out and squeezed her upper arm.

‘Thank you. I will.’ Sarah smiled.

Andy and Maddie walked over to where Loki and Sarah were.

‘Welcome to the family.’ Andy said to Sarah with a smile.

‘Thank you. I’m glad to be here.’ Sarah grinned widely.

‘Setting fire to your school, must’ve been rather scary?’ Andy asked.

‘I don’t remember being scared, as such. I just remember being really angry. It wasn’t until afterwards that I started to feel guilty and ashamed for what I did.’

‘Ashamed no more, though.’ Loki assured her and she nodded in agreement.

‘Well, it’s not as bad as killing someone. I’m so glad to be over that shame.’ Maddie said in a stuck-up manner.

Loki raised his eyebrow at Maddie. ‘Assisting your terminally ill mother to die, under her own wishes, isn’t quite the same as killing someone in cold blood.’ He corrected her.

Maddie looked down and scratched the back of her head, then she shrugged. ‘Well, I still felt like a murderer for so long, until I found Loki. I owe him everything.’ She said giddily as she gazed up at Loki and fluttered her eyelashes.

Sarah noticed that Loki didn’t seem to take her on at all. He looked at Andy again instead. ‘Did you see Molly and Lisa out?’

‘Yeah, no need to worry about them.’ Andy nodded.

‘Good. Go enjoy the party, I’m just getting to know Sarah here a bit more. I’ll release her to everyone again soon enough.’ He grinned and winked at Sarah, making her cheeks heat up again.

Andy and Maddie looked a little put out, but they took Loki’s hint and wandered off, but not without a glare at Sarah from over Maddie’s shoulder.

‘Has anyone told you that you are adorable when you blush?’ Loki asked Sarah with a grin as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, making her cheeks turn as red as a tomato.

‘Uh… no… not until now.’ Sarah giggled after getting over the initial surprise of his comment, making Loki laugh.

‘Well, you most certainly are.’ He winked at her.

Sarah found herself incredibly flustered and Loki enjoyed how he was able to make her that way with just a little touch and a nice comment.

‘So, what was your shame? Have you shared with everyone else, too?’ Sarah asked curiously. Even though he was the leader, she still thought he should at least be doing the same as everyone else and sharing his past deeds.

‘I have indeed shared. I did a lot of bad things back home on Asgard, almost killed the King of Asgard, my father. I killed many people from my own true kind, betrayed them. I was incredibly jealous of my brother and did bad things to spite him. Finding you all here, has allowed me to share in my shame and see a way forward from it. It’s a step closer to my curse being broken.’

Sarah just stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he’d told her. It hadn’t exactly been what she was expecting to hear.

‘You still don’t believe that I’m a God, do you?’ Loki smirked and raised an eyebrow.

‘Well… no, not really. I’m sorry, it’s just kind of hard to believe without solid proof.’ Sarah said honestly, she felt a bit bad for not believing him. She hoped that it wouldn’t cause any trouble for her if she didn’t believe him, maybe she should’ve just kept quiet.

He gripped her chin gently and gazed into her eyes, making all of her insides melt, and her knees turned to jelly.

‘Don’t worry, darling. You’ll have proof soon enough.’

[myfairkatiecat]

Favorite book and why?

Lodestar is my favorite KOTLC book of all time!!!

Just. The Keefe betrayal arc is FABULOUS. And the whole outward channeling thing was sick, can we see more of that actually? I sorta feel like Shannon forgot she gave elves the ability to explode things with their minds

But literally the Sokeefe angst? And the Fitz trust issues cause his friend just betrayed them? And the insights into Keefe’s character flaws??? (I LOVE me a good flawed character)

Also the sleepover ahskdjdjsjwjs peak stuff! Absolutely amazing!!

Also Shannon managed to make peace talks interesting to watch?? Like other authors should take notes

And the climax scene in lumanaria? Gethen getting the sword out of the stone?? Forkle dying (FINALLY ANOTHER ACTUAL CHARACTER DEATH even if it only impacts the other twin)??

And the one scene where the black swan shows up to fight the neverseen but KEEFE IS THERE WITH THE NEVERSEEN and they have to confront each other and Sophie has to inflict on Keefe but then helps him through the pain and then afterwards she pleads with Keefe to come back and he steals Alvar AND the alluveterre crystal like YES. I was worried after the beginning that Shannon was going to diminish Keefe’s betrayal by making him just a double agent and the only bad thing he did was take the cache. But NO SHE REALLY LET HIM DO SOME PRETTY DESTRUCTIVE STUFF. Immaculate betrayal arc I tell you. It literally makes me love Keefe’s character even more

I LOVE LODESTAR SO MUCH IT’S THE BEST KOTLC BOOK

[vpalmersfootballgloves]

yellowjackets 206 thoughts

no one hears anyone crying but y'all will hear these spoilers if you don't scroll past. spoilers below

SOPHIE NELISSE EMMY TONY OSCAR GRAMMY NOBEL PEACE PRIZE PREMIER LEAGUE TITLE PULITZER PRIZE BRAVERY MEDAL CAMPAIGN

precrash!taivan with their desks together during sex ed and tagteaming randy. this was the last time i was seen happy and carefree.

VAN EATING A LOLLY MIDDAY WHILE REARRANGING VHS TAPES, VAN'S SCREAM POSTER, VAN NOT ADMITTING TAI ACTUALLY KISSED HER, VAN STOPPING FOR COFFEE FOR TAI, VAN'S PESSIMISTIC OUTLOOK ON LOVE AND LIFE, VAN ON BUMBLE, VAN'S SNARKY CULT COMMENTS, VAN EATING HER OWN WORDS UPON SEEING HER EX-GOD, LOTTIE MATTHEWS.

"youre married taissa, there's no us anymore" honestly simone is probably already done filing the papers dw honey we're good.

i know some will take tai minding into van's broke and bitchless business as a whole pot calling kettle black situation etc, BUT i'm arguing that she cares about her loved ones (nat, van) so much that she's willing to ignore the shitload of problems on her own plate to help out where she can

the dream birth sequence was so creepy from the start til end. personally, i think its either shauna placenta previaed and postpartum hemorrhaged into her obligatory near death dream/hallucination sequence. OR she just passed out and the dream was a manifestation of all her insecurities, worries and grief.

tai is seriously shauna's RIDE AND DIE. shoving the van's deer bone into her hand and giving her the Lottie special. tai LOVES shauna SO HARD.

travis you have 5 litres of blood to donate with no monthly bleeds and yet you only gave the gods THREE DROPS????? lottie dont lie to him we can BARELY see his sacrifice.

still better than ben i guess. dude just dipped and went to his mind palace

"i love you so much" "it's you and me kid" shauna i dont need a reminder of my mommy issues rn

lottie turning shauna's son into a communal baby like wdym OUR???!?!?!!?

natalie :C she has so much survivor's guilt and remorse that she genuinely believes she's an irredeemable, irreparable Very Very Bad person incapable to be loved because everything she touches hurts one way or another.

lisa and 14th gilly will remind natalie she is so capable of love and to be love. TRUST.

misty praising natalie among lottie's acolytes. she's rooting for natalie so hard. its adorable how much she loves natalie in all the weirdest ways

simone kessell you are a STAR. the lottie-psychiatrist scene MOVED MOUNTAINS

speaking of psychiatrist, that woman is not your psychiatrist. she is switching your meds, egging you on and praying on your downfall.

"what is... IT?" BITTTCH STAY AWAY FROM LOTTIE!!!

teen shauna's sincere, pure and unadulterated love thesis for her son versus adult shauna's nonchalantly saying why didn't callie have sex WITH A FUCKING GROWN ASS MAN PREDATOR to nullify the evidence... the wilderness really did a number on her huh

thank fuck some maternal instincts kicked in during the pornstache interrogation

day 8349 of pornstache saracusa not being dead or tortured. its honestly upsetting

nat staring at van during the milf avengers line up bc nat's just shocked to see van in the flesh ever since these two childhood bestfriends lost contact postrescue.

[sophieswundergarten]

DOES SOMEONE WANT TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT OXYTOCIN????

Because, because, because, the thing is that part of why orphanages were considered Not Great was that there were too many kids and not enough people to love them. There are records of some infants actually dying from what is believed to be lack of physical contact. If a baby isn't held it can stunt their growth, make them loose weight, cause attachment issues/certain kinds of mental struggles, and a whole lot of other things.

Now, oxytocin.

Oxytocin is often called the "love" or "cuddle" hormone, and it reduces blood pressure and production of stress hormones. Its levels are raised by physical closeness with other people. Like hugs.

Hugs are super important to mental and physical health. Now, I understood this factually, but I have also had a chance to experience it in real life! (Yay /s)

So, when I'm at school, I'm there for most of the week. I'm lucky enough to attend a university close enough to where my family lives that I get to visit them a lot. But, when I'm actually attending classes and stuff at school, I have no physical contact with anyone at all. Barring the occasional handshake, I don't touch anybody. Ever. And it actually messes me up so bad.

If people aren't being hugged enough, it raises blood pressure, it makes them more stressed, it worsens mental health, and it's even thought to lower the immune system. Isolation and lack of human contact has been shown to increase thoughts of death and mortality, and sometimes make the person doubt their own existence.

It has been said that humans need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.

This is why solitary confinement and total isolation is a big deal. It can actually destroy people

Now, you may be wondering, "Sophie? Why are you talking about hormones and death and stuff? Aren't you a goofy MBS blogger?" And to that I say, "We're almost there"

So, the thing you need to learn from all this is that basically, lack of human contact is bad. It makes your brain messed up, and it can make your body messed up. Hugs are super important.

Now. How often do you think the kids were hugged pre-canon?

How often do you think Reynie got actually positive touch from another human being? How many years passed as he grew up not having loving contact with anyone at all, until Miss Perumal showed up? How much more do you think he savoured her hugs when he only received a few precious seconds of touch every day or so?

How hard do you think it was for Sticky to go from getting a couple empty handshakes, one or two claps on the back every few weeks when he did a competition, to nothing. Nothing at all as he snuck away in the middle of the night, hiding away and pretending to be nobody worth noticing. Even though I'd bet he barely got any hugs in the first place, it would still be a shock. How often do you think he felt like a ghost, half convinced he didn't exist anymore as he crept through the streets and watched people's eyes slife right off of him?

How jarring would it have been for Kate to go from her multitudinous, ever-shifting circus family to the emptiness of her journey to Stonetown? She worked so hard to fill the void left in her from her father leaving, and then she gave it all up, maybe because she wanted to be the one who left this time. Maybe that's why she's always the one leaning on the others, playfully punching the boys, volunteering to carry Constance, anything really to be able to touch someone. And after all that whiplash, how hard would it have been for her to regulate after she got Milligan back and couldn't decide if she never wanted him to let go of her or if she never wanted to touch him again?

Did anyone hold Constance when she was little? She's know for being a trouble maker and a biter at a very young age, and was that because she didn't trust anyone who tried to touch her? Did she know, even at such a young age, that there were too many people who couldn't be trusted in her world? And, after she ran away, hiding in the library and staying out of sight, how many months did she go without hearing a single word from another human? How frightening was it for her to break through all of those years, most of her life at this point, of learned anger and defensiveness? How long did it take for her to truly believe she could trust Mr. Benedict, to let her guard down and accept affection from him?

[reality-exodus]

The Last Hours of a Herondale

Ch. 3 Carstairs

Pairing: Matthew Fairchild x herondale reader Word count:1.5k

Brother Zachariah

I was invited at the London Institute once again by Will who, through out the year he was inventing the most incredible excuses to summon me here so we can spend the day together. cannot deny that it is my pleasure to spend as much time as I can here. With Will, with Tessa and the kids. I feel grateful for them but mostly when the phrase ‘Uncle Jem’ comes from Y/N, James or Lucie, I am happy that they don’t seem to be uneased or afraid by my somewhat disturbing appearance. I am a silent brother after all.

I assumed I arrived earlier than expected as I strolled down the corridor of the room. It was empty and quiet when the sound of my violin stroked my ears. It was Mozart and it came from my former music room, I used to spent endless hours there until Will would come and annoy me. It was honestly the best annoyance in the world. I knew Y/N was using that room as I gave her my violin and notes when I first witnessed her as a toddler. I taught her the notes and I am glad to hear she has gotten so far even without my teaching.

I paused outside the door and enjoyed the melody. I hadn’t heard music in so long that I simply wanted to enjoy its sound. After some moments I walked in and the girl paused. She was well dressed, even though her expression reminded me of Will when he was bothered by something and would bury himself under a pile of books before he would decide to speak with me. Y/N paused her movements and turned to the entrance, I was glad she smiled once she sensed my presence in the room.

“Uncle Jem Good morning.” She smiled, she looked grateful it was me. I don’t know if it was the fact that I was a silent brother or the common things she had with her parents that help me perceive Y/N, James and Lucie’s behavior better.

“Good morning Y/N. Please don’t stop, I haven’t heard violin… Since the last time you played.” I would smile if I could.

“Perhaps you want to play? I am using gloves either way...” She offered the instrument. She was prepared for the breakfast to welcome the Carstairs, my closest blood-related family. I could sense she was uneased and I knew she wanted to converse something with me. It was the same tone Tessa was using once she wanted to say something. I was glad my niece was trusting me with her issues more than her parents. I mean, I do know how pressuring and overprotective Will and Tessa can be first hand.

“No, my playing would be torture for close-by listeners. Could you play Mozart perhaps. Any symphony you know best.” I requested and sat at a chair.

“I know the 40th symphony. The one you have noted yourself.” She spoke before she touched the bow to the strings of my old violin and started playing. As the smooth sound of the symphony flooded the room my gaze wandered at the changes that had been done to the room I used to spent most of my time. The fireplace was lit, the small fire roaring and offering a warmth feeling inside the room. The piano was moved next to the door, there was a bookcase on the place where there was empty spots or furniture with white sheets upon them. Utterly unused. The side that was completely empty is filled with paint and canvases empty and with drawings. I saw many paintings, My gaze fell on the family portrait she copied. It was the first Christmas after me and Will had gone through our ceremony. There was Charlotte and Henry in the middle. On Henry’s side stood Jessamine, Cyrus and Sophie while on Charlotte’s side there was me and Will. Exactly six years before Tessa came into our lives.

Before I knew it the symphony ended and I clapped slowly. “Congratulations, you’ve come along way on the violin. And as I see with the painting as well. It is pretty.” I commented and she nodded as she sat down on the carpet in front of the fireplace. “Will we not join the others at the dining room?” I asked.

“Of course, I wanted to mention that I had a vision the other day… It wasn’t much. But you said I should mention when I go through it.” Said Y/N as her attention was more on the music notes than me. She was organizing them carefully.

“And what triggered it? What did you see?” I wondered.

“We went at the stupid Tavern the Merry Thieves go. And the server, she wiped some ichor from my face and I immediately realized I was being dragged out of my body. I only saw how she turned into a werewolf and how she turned her first wolf… And then casually woke up.” She summarized her recent experience with her charisma. Both twins presented to have an ability and both of them seem to dislike that and who could blame them. Tessa and Will worry and I am still studying on the mysticistic books that the City of bones hide. Y/N charisma seems to have multidimensional and controversial explanations while James’ is more difficult to gather intel about.

“Its alright, you did good to mention it. As I understand it was not that exhausting physically.” I made a regard and earnt a positive nod. “How about James? Did he have any incidents?” I asked.

“Look, I do not know if he will talk to you and on this matter I kind of trust you more on this than mama and papa… James disappeared during the battle of last night. We covered for each other to our parents. It was a close call for both of us and Math.”  Y/N spoke with uncertainty although I am sure it was because of the guilt she felt for speaking of her brother.

“Do not be concerned Y/N. I am sure James will come to me himself just like you did.” I assured her and she nodded. “Is there anything else you wish to share?” I asked her.

“No that was it.” She replied.

“Alright then I will be going. Thank you for the small concerto Y/N. See you in a while.” I greeted and left the room before I made my way to the dining table to find it empty, only cutlery and placed in perfect positions in order for the meal to be prepared. The library, I turned on my way. I opened the wide door and found them by the poetry shelves.

“Well well hello. Look who arrived early.” Will commented on my arrival. “You must have missed us.” He then added and approached me before he pulled me in a hug.

“Your invitation mentioned 8 o clock… But as a matter of fact I have missed you.” I spoke and slowly wrapped my arms around William.

“You seem skeptical. Do the Brothers treat you good or there is any issue.” Will asked and looked straight at my face. Even with my new features he could read me as could I.

“Will you needn’t worry about me. I guess I felt nostalgic. I heard Y/N play. I asked her to play something and she had my old notes.” I spoke with a heavy exhale and Tessa placed her hand on my shoulder. It was a painful feeling of nostalgia and melancholy that I never pondered of feeling again. Silent Brothers are not supposed to feel. But I do feel. I feel many things. Perhaps it because my cousin’s family. Cordelia, Shawna and Alastair are the only blood relatives I have left.

Will didn’t speak. I knew he was feeling this everyday.

“She grew to play just like you.” Tessa smiled at me, she was trying to ease the tensity, her gaze darting between me and Will.

“Indeed. I am glad my violin is being used and that the music room is filled with life” I explained and looked at them.

“Can you not say that you are needed here. In order to stay here longer. I am sure Brother Enoch wont need your assistance. James asked for you as well.” Will spoke and this got me a bit joyful.

“I could do that…” I spoke and placed my hand on Will’s shoulder when a servant walked in to bring a letter from Charlotte. With a quick glance Will read it and I saw annoyance and light anger to be sketched upon his features.

“What is it?” Tessa asked him.

 “We have to go to the Cornwall Gardens at the gathering that was arranged, Carstairs are already on their way there. Charlotte only found out, now as she said in the letter.” Will spoke up his voice rising as he threw the letter. “I am sorry Jem” He spoke.

“You don’t have to apologize. There will be time” I assured him.

“Now go tell your daughter that she will have to go outside.” Tessa smiled at Will and patted his shoulder.

“Which one?” Will asked and looked at us confused.

“Lucie will be more excited if we tell her that. Honestly William!” Tessa sighed.

“I will be leaving now. See you soon both.” I patted Will’s shoulder and left before the situation would get him angrier.

[thestarseersystem]

replying to this post because i thought my stance was pretty poggers. but the reblogs got turned off as i was writing it, sadge

When dealing with the traumatic discourse, we had split a persecutor that is anti-endo and it sort of made the whole system turn to being anti-endo. We used to be more neutral and was confused on a lot of things.

But its really turned into because of the misinformation that's being spread. Specifically queer autism and sophie in wonderland are two major bad blogs that are dangerous towards newly discovered systems and the like. Imagine being told that there's nothing wrong with you and you get stuck in a cycle of not needing to deal with the past.

The persecutor that split, holds a LOT of shared trauma with me, and has shown that trauma holders, when being ignored/locked away, become more traumatized as the more you deny and destroy their existence.

So I don't think it's fair to the alters in your system, by denying any existence of harm, its like a nightmare masked as a sweet dream, its poisonous and bitter.

And I understand to some extent why people tend to avoid what happened to them, because it does hurt, it does take a lot to process. But you can't expect every member of your system to be happy with that. You can't expect everyone to just get along because you think that there's no problems. Until you solve and confront things, there will be issues.

And its mainly because we have trauma surrounding being told that we just "need to get over it" or that "its not a big deal" or "youre just making everything up". Like we have trauma surrounding being gaslit and shit. And the persecutor split because she noticed that a sort of toxic positive behavior is not good and couldn't deal with just being nice to everyone any longer.

So even in an "inclusive" space, there is shit you cannot trust. I just can't bear to listen to people that I just don't agree with. And that's why I have blocked most of the endogenic community, so they don't have to interact with me either. I'm not going to cross their boundaries and they're not going to cross mine. I only gave my response because you asked for them. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't open to me.

I just think the strive for inclusivity over true information is dangerous. There can be a lot of bullshit unless you hear the information first hand or through a trusted source. And my goal is healing, it always has been. Other people's goals are different, and I'm not saying recovery is the only good goal to have, but I'm saying its the one I want for me. And that means accepting every single part of my system, good or bad.

[libraryofcirclaria]

09 November 1299

Library of Circlaria

Third Level Society: First Version

Story Nine: Sophie Qalmers

As I anticipated my upcoming trial this coming Wednesday, I have decided to dedicate today on reflecting upon the past.

Thirty years ago this year, I was born in the town of North Kempton. I was raised there on certain social manners there. I went to school there, from kindergarten through high school. Not much of that turned out to be significant to me until I met Cray Fenton in the fall of 1286. Up to that point, I had thought of life as drab and awful. Cray Fenton was a source of enlightenment for me. I had heard of him through the older brother of a friend of mine.

And that friend, believe it or not, was Brythar Foren.

That was in early high school. So I was not old enough to take part in Cray Fenton's Circle Project, but I was allowed to sit in and observe. They apparently had effectively reconstructed North Kempton, its history up to that point, the province of Nintel and its details, the entire nation of Retun, and even started building details of Locin and the Great North. It was an almost exact replica without the nuances and alterations present in the Arturian Realm. Its realism, initially, was what lured me. I mean I was fascinated with the Arturian Realm when I came to that later on. But the exact model of Remikran Society, and Cray Fenton's ability to craft the many social dynamics involved was something that blew my imagination. I begged and begged to be given permission to take part in his Project despite the age limit that every Member had to be at least 18 years old.

I finally got my wish in the fall of 1286. It was my final year of high school. And the previous school year, I signed the official paperwork finalizing the assignment choice of my senior project: an internship as a co-administrator for the Nintel Sector of Cray Fenton's dymensional plane.

I put forth my effort. I got good marks and graduated. And I contributed a lot to Cray Fenton's work. It was something I was proud of.

The issue with Cray Fenton was, believe it or not, his stance on the Darkfire Community. Early on, I had learned about the plight with Ceri Mains. I was inspired by her story, but I was also outraged by how much I had been lied to about the Darkfire Community itself. I was taught in my childhood that darkfire conjurers were morally corrupt individuals who had ulterior motives and sought to achieve their agendas via mind control and also conjuration of the dead. As the years went on, I realized that the dead-conjuration part was a completely false myth. Later on, I learned not only that the mind-control notion was a false myth as well, but that most of that type of propaganda...and propaganda I do appropriately call it...was spread by Reonard Chaney, who I have come to realize was quite the notorious, and even misogynist, radio host.

Cray Fenton, when I first met him, seemed very much in the same league as myself on this, as he also believed, and still believes to this day, that Reonard Chaney was wrong and that darkfire is not the morally corrupt art that the media is cracking it up to be.

But that was his limit. The more closely I worked with him during my senior project, the more I began to realize that Cray Fenton viewed darkfire conjuration as dangerous, regardless of morality. He did not outright believe that darkfire enabled mind control but believed that its influence on the emotions of a person was to such a degree that those with Involuntary Darkfire Conjuration Syndrome could not be trusted to interact freely with the rest of Remikran society.

This came to be when I was shown the part of Nintel that is actually under Finzi's regime in the Mount Carris Perimeter. Like in the real world, the Mount Carris Perimeter was enclosed in 100-foot-thick and 100-foot-tall concrete walls and a network of barbed wire fences. It gave a holistic picture of the great divide in our society that not only marginalizes the Darkfire Community but also cuts it off from the outside world. So I proposed an idea to Cray Fenton to knock down those walls and allow the Darkfire Community to integrate with the rest of Society.

Cray Fenton said that he would not even consider the idea.

I was shocked at first. I thought that Cray Fenton was out of his mind to do that. I went to my closest friend, Brythar Foren, and tried talking with him to maybe gang up on Cray to show that Cray does not quite yet understand what he believes in.

But that was when Brythar and I fell out. At first, he was still my friend but told me to leave my idea in the past. In other words, he insisted that Cray Fenton was the one with common sense and I was the one without it.

I had no other close friends in the Circle other than Cray and Brythar. But nonetheless, I determined to show them wrong. So I joined with a few of the Gallestons and their friends and set to work on a secret agenda to cast sophisticated spellwork in order to make the concrete of the walls brittle and the barbed wired fences dissolve into dust. The idea was to do this while Cray was gone, so that those avatars of the Darkfire Community would be given a chance to integrate into modern society. This, of course, was within Cray Fenton's dymensional plane, not the real world.

We kept this secret. We kept this steady. And we noted that Cray Fenton was going to be leaving with a friend named Tom Pero in early February of that year. So we chose the perfect date to launch our plan: February 6, 1287. I made a lot of good friends in the process, especially the Gallestons. I went from feeling frustrated to feeling at a very high point in my life. I felt proud against the misunderstandings of Cray and Brythar. And yes, I saw them as misunderstandings; and I was going to set them right with this, and have an impact on Cray's organization.

Of course, our plan was interrupted on February 6, 1287, when all the events happened, and all the panic spread. It shook us up. We obviously did not carry out the plan that day. And so we were left scrambled. After a few days, though, we regrouped and discovered that due to the national border closures, Cray Fenton was stuck in the Great North and would be for awhile. So we pulled ourselves together and decided to launch our plan on February 15.

During that week, rumor came that someone tried to hack our phone system. That of course caused concern among the Galleston leaders and Brythar, those who I deemed "old-timers." But we saw this as a perfect distraction, morally controversial is that would seem. And so on February 15, we launched our plan.

And it worked beautifully. The walls came down, the barbed wire dissolved. And all the darkfire avatars came out and integrated into Fenton's dymensional plane Remikra and did so gracefully.

I figured that this would be enough to change the minds of both Cray and Brythar. But then Brythar, upon seeing what happened, turned hostile on me. He had his avatar create mass numbers of daemons who rounded up all the darkfire daemons and destroyed them. He then rebuilt the Mount Carris Perimeter, and respawned the daemons inside. In other words, he had everything reset to the way it was before. To say I felt disappointed and let down on this was an understatement. But then Cray Fenton returned the following week, following the re-opening of the borders, and had me demoted to serving as a simple phone secretary role in the in-built reception office of the Galleston Farmhouse.

In other words, I was no longer working directly with the dymensional plane.

I had a little negotiation with Cray, with the hope that crowd pressure from the friends I had made during the great plan would back me up. But Brythar had stricken fear into them, convincing too many of them that I was actually crafting darkfire in order to sway them. Nonetheless, I did convince Cray to let me back into his dymensional plane, albeit with me reporting to a Third Level Society outcast named Carol Owen.

But therein at my low point, I ran into a source of inspiration: Jeo Brock. I had heard about him and his avatar-card invention at Cabotton University, but never met him while he was in North Kempton, even though we had gone to the same high school. About a month after the Lykian attacks, though, he had called me. Well, he called to Cray Fenton's project, and I happened to pick up the phone.

Jeo asked me a simple question: Where was Cray Fenton?

So I told him how Cray Fenton had been in the Great North, and how he was temporarily back in North Kempton again before heading off to Ebony Town. But I did not tell him the part about how during his stopover, Cray had demoted me. That was because this was right after I received the letter stating that I was accepted into Cabotton University. And by that point, I was inspired to finally leave North Kempton and join the ranks of Jeo at Cabotton University and the Third Level Society. So I asked him a lot of questions about his card agenda. He said that it was a hard battle, to which I told him that I knew how it felt.

And then I remembered, just before I had launched my darkfire plan, how some avatar named Rendo, accompanied by Rosane, and approached my avatar, named Sophie, and asked her the whereabouts of Cray.

It was from that point forward that I became hell-bent on leaving North Kempton and starting anew at Cabotton. Despite my shortcomings with Cray and his dymensional plane, I got good marks on my senior project and graduated high school. That fall, I moved into my residence at Cabotton University, where ultimately, I was to major in the real version of the pseudo-craft I used during my internship with Cray. The craft in question was lightfire.

I will try not to brag when I say this, but I will admit that I was strong in the academic knowledge part of the Lightfire Curriculum, and I got good marks in the music performance aspect of it, as required. I was a piano player, I remember. And I also did well in the rudimentary spellfire caster training courses, receiving my Spellcaster License by the end of October of that year. It was just that I could not do lightfire crafting, no matter how hard I tried. Looking back, I now know that lightfire crafting is not for everyone. And I was definitely one of the ones not naturally inclined to excel.

This was not helped by Josh Marquin, at the time, who was originally my study partner, but then became inspired by me for some reason, showing, shall I say, a little too much admiration for me. He was not aggressive, but was that one annoying person after all who would not leave me alone. Whether or not his approach was romantic is still unclear to me to this day. But nonetheless, his presence was a contributor toward my consideration to actually move on from Cabotton.

I did my best in the lightfire crafting core classes. I got passing grades. But my performance there was not terribly great. Everyone else knew that I would leave after the first semester. And West Horizon? Not even in my wildest dreams.

Most of my pride, though, came from the Third Level Society. I created my avatar, Lowen, that semester. Lowen was originally going to be female, but I decided to leave the avatar non-gendered so as to create as many questing opportunities as possible for them. I did, after all, notice some avatar-gender bias in the Arturian Realm. So I developed Lowen through numerous quests and experiences. But then I got busy with the mounting schoolwork. And then late in the month of October, I decided that my first semester at Cabotton would be my last. By that point, the schoolwork ebbed a little, ideally leaving time for lightfire students to begin networking with lightfire professionals. Instead of doing that, however, I indulged more with the development of Lowen, at the end of which period Lowen became pretty good at casting concealment for groups of avatars. Lowen, in fact, had grown a bit popular, helped not in the least by the fact that Lowen had a really good custom-built starship.

I was sad to leave that behind, I will admit. But unfortunately, I just could not continue to study at Cabotton University. And there were no other viable career options in the spellcrafter small business market of Cabotton proper. My life took me, ultimately, back to North Kempton, where I sought to completely avoid Cray Fenton by working a job in the back section of the North Kempton Library.

During my time at the Library, I became fascinated with the art of writing. And a little while later, I submitted a written work to the Royal College of Terredon in the Great North, who, to my surprise, accepted me as their student. Four years later, in 1292, I obtained my degree in Journalism, and shortly thereafter, landed my current position with the Three Points, the newspaper for the town of Three Points, Ereautea.

I started there as an editor, aspiring to become one of their Field Journalists. When the opportunity arose, I was passed over by Tom Kearney with the vague excuse of being that he "had more desirable experience." However, I am suspicious that there may be another reason.

In any case, the years and years of disappointment are what led me to this point. When Josh Marquin approached me with the idea of myself reporting on an independent article on everything currently happening with the Third Level Society, I felt that I had to take it. Being stuck as an editor was not my idea of fun when it came to my chaotic career path. So this would have to do.

Only now, I may be on the cusp of yet a large disappointment, the largest in my life.

Perhaps, though, perhaps I need to have a little hope. If this does not turn out to be a disappointment, it will be a major accomplishment, something to give me confidence in the years to come.

<- 06 November 1299 <- || -> 12 November 1299 ->

[posi-pan]

sophie turner: has never labeled her sexuality sophie turner: talked about how labels are useful for some people, but that she’s never sat and thought about her sexuality like that sophie turner: said she relates to how shailene woodley described her sexuality as falling in love with personalities not genders sophie turner: i love souls not genders

the internet: sophie came out as bi! sophie came out as pan! omg!! icon!!!

do we really need another lesson in respecting when real people do not label their sexuality?

your desire for representation or a word to call someone does not override a real person not labeling their sexuality.

stop forcing labels on people who have not chosen/do not want one.

do better.

[supraveng]

Marvelous Friends - part 2

part 1             series masterlist

Summary: Your best friend introduces you to the man of your dreams

Characters: Reader, Benedict Cumberbatch x Sophie Hunter, RDJ x Susan Downey, Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, Lisa Evans

The rest of the day was filled with meeting more beautiful people and lots of laughter, you realized that they had created a large family through working together for years and you almost missed being in that type of atmosphere. It was getting late and a few people had started to dwindle out, you were chatting with Robert & Chris when Benedict came up and gave you a defeated look.

Robert looked taken back by the glare you were being given “what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m trying to get my children to listen to me, but I think Y/N broke them, I have no control over them at all” Ben sighed which only prompted you to laugh.

“Oh Benny, you’ve never had control of them”

“Haha, very funny. I’m trying to get them to clean up so we can head home”

“Ok” you shrug trying to figure out what the issue is.

“But both Kit and Hal said they don’t need to because I didn’t play the song” he sighs trying to make you feel guilt or something, but he knew better. "So, I started singing the clean up song”

You couldn’t help but giggle at him “that’s lame, and that song sucks” you mumbled between laughter.

“That’s what Kit said” shaking his head at you “just tell me how to get them to clean up”

Scrunching up your face, you had just enough alcohol in your system to tease Ben much more than you normally would “what’s in it for me?” causing Chris and Robert to begin laughing at Ben’s defeated expression. “Ok, I’m sorry, hand me your phone” you held out your hand.

“Why do you need my phone?” he skeptically eyed you while pulling it out of his pocket.

“Because I don’t think you will be able to sing the song in its entirety and the boys need ample time to clean up” you are searching YouTube and find the song, handing him back his phone. “Start the song when you get in the room, when the song is over, they will be done” you state matter of factly.

“This better work” he mumbled as he walked away. Shaking your head at his attitude towards your methods of child rearing, you got back to your conversation with Chris, as Robert had disappeared. Chris was funny and smart and made you feel completely welcomed in this group of mostly strangers.

Within 10 minutes, Kit was crawling back in your lap with Hal following behind. Looking at Benedict, you raised an eyebrow “yes, ok, it worked. I’m not sure how, but it worked”

“Benny I have a dozen nieces and nephews, I know what I’m doing” you winked at him and turned back to Chris

“Alright, I gotta know, what song could possibly get these boys to behave so well” his Boston accent coming out more and it did things to you that you hadn’t expected.

“Well, I suppose I could tell you, but do you have anyone to use it on? I’ve worked hard to properly gain the trust of my favorite kids, so it has to be worth it for me to reveal my secrets” you respond with a smirk and a small kiss to Kit’s head.

He smiles at you and the way you and Kit are cuddled up together “I have a few nephews and a niece that could benefit from your wisdom, yea” he smirks.

“Ok, it’s Europe’s The Final Countdown. It is incredibly simple and it works like a charm. Once the song starts they know it's time to clean up or finish what they are doing, it’s about 5 minutes long and when it’s over they know they have to be done” you shrug as Kit and Hal start singing, rather loudly.

Chris and you start laughing at the boys knowing most of the words to a random song from an 80s hair band. “That’s brilliant, how did you come up with that?” he asks with a smirk that you could not get enough of.

“I told you, I have a dozen nieces and nephews”

“Seriously? I thought you were exaggerating” he started laughing harder.

“No, and I’ll be visiting all of them in a few weeks and wouldn’t be surprised if there were more on the way” you told him shaking your head.

Kit perked up “are you going to FL without me?” he asked with a sad face like you were abandoning him.

“Well, I am going to visit my mom, dad and brothers, but I promise I won’t go to Disney until you get to join me, does that work?” you asked hoping to avoid any unnecessary tears.

He huffed and mumbled an ok in return before running off with his brother. You and Chris chatted a bit more before Ben returned. “Sophie is changing Finn then we will be heading out, if you are ready” he smirked looking between you two.

“Of course, I didn’t realize how late it was” turning to Chris and extending your hand “it was nice meeting you, thanks for the chat”

“Oh come on, we’re passed hand shakes” Chris laughed as he pulled you into a hug. “And good luck with the book tour”

Chris watched as you made your way through the house with Kit talking rather animated on whatever it is that 5 year olds find so interesting. There was something about you that he hadn’t expected, you were smart, funny but down to earth and confident.

“So, did you get her number?” Seb asked as he walked up to Chris and handed him a fresh beer.

“What? No, she’s nice, but you know, it’s not like that, I’m not looking for anything right now, and she’s nice but that’s it” Chris shrugged.

“Who are you trying to convince, me or you?” he questioned laughing at how his friend was a bit too defensive.

“What? I can’t be friends with someone just because she’s beautiful?”

“I didn’t say that man, but friends exchange numbers too you know” Seb shrugged and patted Chris’ back as he walked away.

“Shit, you’re right. But I can’t run after her now and ask for it, that would seem needy….maybe I can ask Benedict?”

“Yea, that wouldn’t look needy at all!” he laughed at Chris’ pained expression before stepping away.

You were settled in the car next to Kit and Hal when Ben looked at you with a lopsided grin. “Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked not sure where his mind was at the moment.

“No reason, you just seemed to have a good time today, got along well with Chris'' he shrugged as if he wasn’t pushing some agenda.

"We chatted, he's a nice guy, not sure what else you are expecting" you looked at him skeptically.

"Well, did you give him your number?" Sophie asked, trying to push things along knowing Benedict didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

You laughed as you shook your head "no, because he didn't ask for it. It was a fun get together and the Downey's are delightful people, seeing Sebastian again after so long was unexpected and great. Your friends are very nice but they are your friends, but let's not put something there that doesn't exist"

By the time you made it back to their house you were sober and gathering your things to head home.

"Please don't be mad at Ben, he just wants to see you happy" Sophie whispered as she hugged you goodbye.

"I'm not mad at all, not even disappointed or anything. I went with no expectations and had a lot of fun, I would call that a successful"

You knew the week ahead would be busy and you could prioritize and get things done quickly, however a last minute lunch with the Cumberbatch crew was top priority come Monday morning.

Convincing Sophie to let you take Kit for the afternoon was much easier than expected, but the look in Hal’s eyes when he found out he didn’t get to go was almost heartbreaking, so you really had no other choice than to take them both with you. The day was so much fun and you kept in touch with their parents so they would stay calm.

The rest of the week was a blur of last minute meetings and packing and changes to your schedule. Once you left LA, you were bound and determined to have an amazing experience since it had been ages since you had one of your novels published and felt like an eternity since you were out on a book tour.

It was nearly dinner time when your second book signing for the day was finishing up, it was an amazing turn out and you were excited to be back in the city. You were just finishing off your coffee, trying your best to stay alert when the bookstore team tells you that this was the last person in line for the signing.

You put on your most sincere smile when a woman approached “hi, I’m Y/N, I’m so glad you could come by today”

“Oh dear, the pleasure is all mine, I’m Lisa” she told you as she extended her hand to shake yours.

“Well, I always love meeting a fan, but let me warn you, this book is not as fluffy as my last, that is if you’ve read them” you tell her as you are signing the inside cover and adding a personal message.

“I have, but I didn’t realize you had another book coming out until my son told me about the signing here today. He was nice enough to bring me” she mentioned as you finished signing her book.

Looking up as you were handing it back you saw a familiar face behind Lisa and couldn’t help but smile. Lisa immediately noticed you looking past her and turned to find Chris watching the two of you.

“There you are, I was just telling Y/N here that I wouldn’t have known about her new book if it wasn’t for you” Lisa beams at Chris.

"Well, I truly appreciate the support, today had a really good turn out" you tell them when the team comes over to let you know you are done for the day, allowing you to chat with the Evans' a bit longer.

"So, is this day 1 or 2?" Chris asked as you were packing up your belongings.

"This is day one, tomorrow is a bit different than my normal tour”

“Sorry to interrupt, but we need to get going for dinner, Y/N, why don’t you join us? Seems that you and my son have some catching up to do” Lisa smiled at the two of you.

“Thank you for the offer, but I couldn't intrude on you” you try to decline as politely as possible.

“Nonsense, I insist” she told you as she began to usher you all out of the store.

You were about to protest again, but Chris put his hand on your arm grabbing your attention before leaning in to whisper “it will be easier to just do as she says”

“What was that Chris?” you both looked to see Lisa waiting for a response.

“Ma, I was just letting her know that you won’t take no for an answer” he smirked at his mother then you before opening the door for you but his mom hopped in the car first and called for you to sit with her in the back.

“I guess I’m driving” he mumbled to himself before getting in and starting the engine. Once at the restaurant you were seated immediately, and Lisa began her interrogation.

“So, how do you and my son know each other?” she looked calm and poised but you’ve seen the same tactics with your own mother and knew what you needed to do.

“Well, we met last week through some mutual friends, so honestly we don’t really know that much about each other” you are trying to be as honest as possible while answering not sure what Lisa’s angle is here, but you have a pretty good idea.

“Really, you two seem so comfortable around each other, I assume you’ve known each other for a while now and he's just keeping you a secret” Lisa comments and you see her wink at Chris, who just shakes his head. “How long are you in town?”

“I’m here tomorrow, then on to the next stop on the book tour” you tell her as the waiter begins to pass around drinks.

“You mentioned tomorrow is different, what is on the agenda?” Chris asks as you all look at the menu.

“Well, I actually agreed to doing a few guest lectures at Boston College, and to be completely honest, I’m pretty sure I’m over my head” you tell them.

“Oh, that sounds exciting, what made you agree to that?” Lisa asks you with an enormous smile on her face.

You try to remember why you agreed, you loved going to school there, but you were not one for public speaking. The thought is now terrifying to you to provide information to the next round of collegiate masterminds.

“Um, well, it’s my alma mater. And I actually have stayed in contact with my favorite professor after I graduated, he’s been kind of a mentor to me throughout my career. He’s been asking for years for me to come and pop into his classes, and somehow I finally agreed.” you take a deep breath, hoping your anxiety doesn’t get you all worked up and preventing you from sleeping tonight, that would truly only make the session tomorrow more difficult.

The conversation between the three of you flowed easily throughout the rest of the dinner, the wine helps you relax and get to know both Lisa and Chris better.

As your meal was wrapping up you leaned over to Lisa, “thank you so much for inviting me tonight, you remind me so much of my mom, making me feel a bit guilty I haven’t talked to her today" you grimace.

"It sounds like you are close with your family, that's good, a strong support system makes life easier" she reminds you as you all begin to exit the restaurant.

"We are pretty close, I'm the one living furthest away, but I'll see them in 2 weeks, and enjoy a little downtime. Thanks again for the great company" you tell her and hug both her and Chris goodbye.

"Where are you staying? Let me at least drop you at your hotel" Chris states as you begin to pull away.

As tempting as the offer was, you knew you needed some time to work on your presentation for tomorrow and do your best to not become a giant stress ball. You shake your head, "I appreciate the offer but its literally a block from here. I can text you when I get there, so you know I'm safe" you offer.

You usually aren't this bold, but you liked Chris, even if it was just a new friend but since he wasn't making any move towards more than random run ins, you decided to be brave and go for it. But since you knew he was way out of your league the sneakier approach was your safer bet.

"Absolutely" he responded quicker than you expected, reaching for your phone to add himself to your contacts. "Holy crap! You weren't kidding about all the nieces and nephews" he chuckles while he comments on your phone screen pic of you goofing off with the kids at Christmas.

“Hey, I wouldn’t lie about my loves, they are awesome kids….thanks to me” you laugh as you take your phone back. “Thanks for dinner, and drive safe” you wave and head down the street.

Chris climbed back into the car, and headed towards his mother’s house. Lisa kept an eye on him but didn’t say a word.

“Alright, I can feel you staring at me, what is it?” Chris asked with mock agitation.

“Nothing, I’m just wondering if you are ignoring your feelings or you haven’t realized them yet” she responded with a smirk.

“Ma, it’s not like that” he shook his head “she’s a friend. We just met like a week ago, and honestly, I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”

She hummed in response before turning to him again “just remember, sometimes we are given what we need, even if it’s not something we want”. Chris was turning into his mothers driveway and about to respond when his phone chimed.

Y/N: thanks again for dinner, your mom is awesome, have a great night 😉

Part 3

[missymurphy1985]

The Medic (Part 8)

Warning - angst

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

Back in Cillian's hotel room later, the two of you were talking about the messages. Trying to decide what to do, work out who the threat could have come from. Narrowing it down was difficult - every single cast member was on set this afternoon, there was no way of pinpointing who it could have been.

"Paul, Sophie and Tash were in the queue ahead of you, so it can't be them..." He said, sipping a glass of red wine while you stared at the photo on your phone.

"Could it have been Anna?"

"She was sat with Finn by the coffee machine, I remember the death stare she gave me."

"Yeah, about that. Was there anything going on with you two?" You asked, making him laugh.

"She tried. Unsuccessfully. She just wants to up her profile and get more screen time. Fucking an executive producer. She was shit faced at the wrap party last series and tried to kiss me when I took her back to her room. Left her on her own telling her I wasn't interested. She spread rumours around set that we hooked up - I can promise you we did nothing of the sort."

"I believe you. She's so not your type."

"I have a type now do I?"

"Yeah - quiet girls who don't kiss and tell. Non-famous. Low profile. Someone you can come home to at the end of a long day filming and be relaxed around. Someone normal."

"Do you tick all of those boxes y/n?"

"I think I do. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier.."

"No need. I didn't tell Helen though. She caught us behind the trailers after lunch. She told me off and slapped the back of my head for being a horny little schoolboy!"

You had to laugh - it was like being caught by the teacher snogging behind the bikesheds at school.

"Seriously, what are we going to do?"

"Whoever sent that has clear evidence that would either label me a sex pest at work, or destroy your career. We need to contact whoever it is making the threats. It's clearly someone on set. I have an idea."

*************************************************************

The following morning, Cillian called a mass team meeting for the final day of shooting. The series would be wrapped after this one, and due to everyone's schedules being so busy a wrap party hadn't been arranged until the following month, so he brought the cast and crew together with the illusion of it being a farewell and thank you to everyone. You were sat next to Kate as he delivered his speech.

Kate suddenly reached into her handbag and disappeared out the back, and your heart dropped. Cillian noticed it too but carried on with the end of his speech. Once he'd finished, and the room clapped and cheered, he excused himself and headed out to where Kate had left. You followed him, Helen close behind.

"You... You backstabbing little bitch!" You cried as Helen held you back. You wanted to tear her hair out.

"What?" She cried, backing away.

"Did your phone ring while you were in there?" Helen asked, as Cillian took your hand and held you close to him to stop you killing her.

"Yes..."

"Is it ringing now?" Helen asked, holding her own phone up as it rang the number that had messaged you both the day before. Her phone flashed up with an incoming call.

"Kate? Of all people... Why?" Cillian asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Because of YOU!!" she barked, staring straight at you.

"Me??"

"Yes you!! Perfect little you! Straight A student YOU!!! You always had to be one step ahead of me didn't you? Always had to be better! You know how long I've tried to get into Emergency medicine, and there you go applying for the position I wanted and you fucking got it, didn't you??"

"Kate, you didn't even tell me you'd applied for it!? If you had I'd never have gone for it!"

"Yes you fucking would! Just like everything else - you see something I want and you TAKE IT!" She looked at Cillian and then back at you.

"Kate you're married!"

"To a fucking loser! You KNEW I had a crush on him, and you couldn't resist could you? You said on the way up here that he wasn't even that good looking!! Took you less than 72 hours to fuck him though, didn't it? If I hadn't admitted I liked him you wouldn't have touched him with a bargepole and you fucking know it!"

"Okay well we've established that you're clinically insane at least..." You seethed. Helen took Kate to one side and talked to her alone. You couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Not that good looking huh?" Cillian whispered in your ear.

"Oh be quiet, I'd only ever watched one movie you were in and you were a plane riding terrorist."

Helen came back with Kate who still had a face like thunder.

"Give them the phone." Helen ordered and Kate, surprisingly handed it over. You took it and opened up the message app, deleting the photo. You also deleted it from her gallery. Cillian took the phone from you and threw it to the ground, stomping on it as hard as he could.

"That's what you get for calling the nice guy of Hollywood a fucking sexual predator," he spat. Kate looked at you both and you could see a mix of tears and anger in her eyes.

"Kate... I never once wanted to get one over on you. Never. There was a job coming up at the hospital next month that I was going to recommend you for! I was the one who helped you all the way through uni when you needed it. I was the one who told Dr Taylor to give you the job onset here! You didn't know any of that, did you?"

"You did that?"

"Yeah, I did. Now you've thrown away a perfect friendship because of some petty jealousy issues. Well done you."

"Y/n I'm sorry..."

"Take your 'sorry' and shove it up your arse. You nearly ruined us. Go to hell."

"Any more photos, footage, or stories even come close to the public eye and all three of us will sue you for slander. Understand?" Helen threatened, making Kate back down. She nodded, tears in her eyes as she walked away. Your legs buckled underneath you, Cillian catching you quickly as your emotions spilled out. You sobbed against his chest, nearly 20 years of friendship gone in the click of a camera. You'd never trust her again.

"Friends like that aren't worth it - she gets to live out her life without you in it, and you get to live yours with him in it. I think it's a pretty fair trade, don't you?" Helen soothed. Your tears easing, feeling him kiss the top of your head.

"Oh and I believe you know Doctor Taylor?" She said, making you turn to face her.

"He was my professor in med school.."

"Well he just happened to be my husband's cousin. I spoke to him about your little 'situation'. There's no issue here - you're not his doctor you're an onset medic - there's a big difference. You won't lose your license for this," she smiled.

"Really?"

"Really. He checked with the medical board - it's a non-issue."

With that Cillian scooped you up, and planted the biggest kiss on your lips, spinning you round.

"I don't have to hide now," he grinned as you laughed in his arms.

"Put her down Cill, we've still got a day of filming! And we only have one medic now so try not to hurt anyone, yeah?"

[ichijager13]

Teach Me How To Be Loved

Chapter XIV

I've got a burning desire for you

Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, past relationships: Reiner Braun x reader, Jean kristein x reader

Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Reiner Braun, Jean Kristein, Carla Jäger, Sophie Jäger.

Tags: Unhealthy coping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating, and a touch of sweet, lovable, and non fuckboy Eren Jäger

This fic is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs

Masterlist, AO3,  Playlists: Reader’s POV, Eren’s POV

A/N: Hey, hey, heeeeeey! Guess who have decided to pick up her fanfic and update it. Yes, this lazy Ichi! I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I didn't abandon this story, I promise.

Also thank you so much for reading and supporting my works.

Ichi  ❤️  

“Eren,” you moaned, wrapping your arms around his figure. Just like every time you had him this close, you were on the verge of losing your mind. His scent, his teeth grazing your shoulder, and his warm breath fanning against your skin felt ethereal. It felt like a dream. One, you didn’t want for it to end.

In response to the sultry noises escaping you, he brushed his lips against your pulse point, making the last threads of sanity grow thinner and more tense before they slowly vanished in the air.

Laying on your couch in the middle of your dimly lit living room, you tried to trace back the events of this night. You tried, without success, to figure out how innocent tickling led to him half naked and hovering over your nude body.

Swimming in an endless sea of joy and sensuality, you tried to capture and memorize this moment. The faint ticking of the mechanical, vintage clock sitting on the fireplace, the aroma of your fabric softener, and his heart rate. You were mindlessly indulging in your fantasies when his rich voice brought you back to present time.

“Are you ready, love?” he inquired once again.

His large hand caressed your cheeks ever so gently as you nodded. It took you a while to manage to utter a broken yes.

A genuine smile, the same one that captured your heart and bewitched your soul, broke through his lips as he kicked out his shorts and repositioned himself above you. He slowly guided himself past your wet folds. It stretched, burned, and filled you, and it never failed to make you feel complete. His thumb still traced gentle cercles against your burning cheeks as he praised you and chanted how perfect you were for him. how beautiful, dazzling, and amazing you were.

By the time he was fully inside you, your brain was so fogged that the line separating reality from fantasies blended, making it hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. His hands were all over your body. His lips were littering soft kisses against your burning skin, reminding you that he wasn’t a product of your imagination. Reminding you that this was real. That what was going on between the two of you was real.

And you believed him. You believed and held on to all the unspoken promises he sealed against your skin.

So, you let your head fall back, eyes screwed shut, and gave in to the pleasure waves idly hitting you. You closed your eyes and let them drift you away from all the terrible thoughts that had haunted you for years. You let him trade the darkness devouring you with beams of sunlight and the twinkles of a million stars.

Eren couldn’t get over how dazzling you looked underneath him. With each thrust, the noises that spilled from your mouth pushed him over the edge. He tried to contain himself and take it easy on you. But your parted, swollen lips made it so hard for him to control the violent hurricane of feelings he was trapped in. And you asking him, in your high-pitched, broken voice, to go faster made thinking straight even harder.

His arms looping around your waist and pressing your writhing body against his gave you a sense of safety. You had no idea why, but whenever you found yourself in his arms, all your worries washed away, and the dark clouds invading your sky disappeared. Whenever he was around, all the sad melodies you spent your life listening to changed into happy ones. Smiling, you made a mental note to share this thought with him. to tell him about all the wonderful things he made you feel. to thank him for loving and accepting you as you were. But the unholy rhythm he was pounding on you made your thoughts dissolve like a spoonful of salt in a bottle of water.

Lost in the blissful mist of the building up pleasure, you didn’t realize that he had changed position until he hit that sweet spot that made you see the stars in the middle of your apartment. That particular angle that never failed to make your soul get lost forever in the abyss of your orgasm.

He continued moving in synch with your heartbeat and your lust-filled thoughts. With every buck and every groan, he was bringing dead parts of you back to life. Parts you completely forgot they ever existed.

By the time he collapsed next to you, your ability to think or form a coherent sentence was inexistent. Craving more of his soothing warmth, you instinctively nestled your face in the crook of his neck. A pair of strong, tattooed arms looped around your shaking body, and it felt like home. With the tip of your finger, you absent-mindedly traced the one climbing up his arm and covering his shoulder blade. Caressing his tattoos was one of the numerous habits you developed after you got together.

You remained like that, in each other’s arms, enjoying the comfortable silence until you fell asleep.

When the sunlight filtering through the beige curtains woke you up the next morning, you found yourself tucked under the soft, satin sheets in your bed.

Eren was nowhere to be seen. Sitting with your back pressed against the headboard, you perked your ears, trying to locate where your boyfriend was. But to your surprise, the apartment was as silent as the city streets on a snowy Sunday morning.

After you left your bed, you fished for a t-shirt and exited your bedroom. Your clothes and his, which were scattered all over the living room, were gone. Assuming it was Eren who picked them up, you put some order in the living room before heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

You were in the kitchen making breakfast when you heard the door.

[thekatebridgerton]

Is it bad that I don't want Sophie Beckett to be a POC? It's because putting a POC in a Cinderella story (which Sophie and Benedict's story is), opens up to the dangerous white savior trope with the rich white man saving the oppressed POC working woman. I cannot think of any way to carefully handle that and still stay loyal to the books. But that doesn't mean Sophie has to be an english actress. If the show makes Sophie Irish, the show can still address the same issues about working women in Regency England with added historical accuracy - as we all know the British were beyond horrid d*cks to the Irish for centuries. And that's an understatement.

I’d like to point out that Nicola Coughlan is Irish. And that I do love the implication of the Featheringtons might Irish roots. Hopefully her Irish heritage will get brought up in the show next season. Your question does makes me wonder how well Nicola would have played Sophie if she’d been casted opposite Luke Thompson tho. 

Now put on your seatbelt anon you're about to hear a rant.

First of all let's get this out of the way, I am in no way opposed to seeing a black Cinderella on Bridgerton. One of the best Cinderella's in cinematic history was a black woman, which was Brandi in Roger and Hammerstein's. And Brandi's Cinderella is so great, beautiful, flawless in the way she played it that surpassing her has been the challenge of every Cinderella that came after including Lily James.

If someone like Brandi played Sophie, Bridgerton would rise so high, because there's something about a black woman not putting up with oppression any longer and quite literally giving Benedict the dressing down he deserves, that would be so cathartic for me. You wouldn't even notice the white savior trope because she would kick it out of the way with the force of her performance. The way the actress plays the role has a lot of power into how the character is perceived. Take Gugu Mbatha-Raw in any role ever. Most notably in 'Belle'. when she's on screen, the depth she gives to her performance makes white people look like they're not even trying. 

If Bridgerton did cast a black actress as Sophie, unless the actress was anything short of spectacular, her performance would be compared to Brandi. Because Brandi set the standard for POC Cinderella scenes.

Now let's leave aside that Benedict is a classist duck to Sophie for a moment. And focus on the fact that Sophie Beckett has arguably the most tragic backstory out of the four Bridgerton wives. Kate, Penelope and Lucy at least had families who gave a thought to their happiness. Sophie didn’t. Her backstory is going to hurt regardless of who plays the role, it’s literally written that way. 

Which brings us to my rant, if you examine the amount of times the Cinderella trope has been used in a movie or tv and cross reference that with the amount of times a non-white actress played the role, you start to see a disturbing trend. Which is this: when not performed by a white actress, Cinderella is performed by an actress of South American/Latino descent. Most recently Selena Gomez, Sofia Carson and Camilla Cabello. And Dania Ramirez in that season of OUAT I didn’t watch.

As a Latina myself if you think the slavery implication in the white savior trope is bad when Cinderella is played by a black actress then it's just as bad when it's performed by a Latina. People don't talk about it that much because Latina skin can pass for white under a certain tan booth light. But make no mistake, the implication is there. 

Hot take: Actresses with South American/Latino heritage, aren't all born to play the role of maids or any other type of oppressed citizens. Despite what Jlo made Hollywood think in Maid in Manhattan. In fact neither are black women. Bridgerton at least got that right when they cast a POC as Queen Charlotte.

If you cross reference the amount of times Cinderella has been played by a black woman in movie/tv and you get 1, which is Brandi, the Cinderella who set the bar really high. 2 if you decide to count Rags where Keke Palmer plays the prince (which I don’t count) but it’s worth mentioning. 

Rant ended back to Sophie and Benedict.

Now, with the exception of the casting of Daphne, ( which I think could have gone better, because Phoebe’s performance was lackluster compared to costars like Nicola Coughlan, Ruby Barker and Sabrina Bartlett) Bridgerton casting has always been really successful. I personally love who they picked as Kate and Edwina. From what I can see in the recent clips, Simone Ashley can give a lot of depth and nuance to Kate. 

I hope that they do the same for the casting of Sophie and bring in an actress who can portray Sophie as someone who refuses to be the victim and has never lost hope. Which is the beauty of Sophie’s character. Personally I’ve never seen an Asian Cinderella in western tv, if they cast an actress with Asian, Pacific or Caribbean heritage, they would actually BE breaking ground and doing something that hasn’t been done before. Even another Desi actress would do well in that role.

 I’m the first to raise my hand in favor of more Asian representation in Bridgerton because we didn’t get any in S1 and for a show that’s supposedly so diverse that kinda bummed me out. And it would also have less racist connotations because at that historical point in time, the British (in my limited understanding) had a less oppressive relationship with Asians. At least compared to other cultures that they were actively suppressing, enslaving or destroying. 

I still trust that Sophie’s actress will be spectacular, and hopefully she might make me feel something beyond boredom towards Benedict and redeem him in my eyes. Because out of all the Bridgertons I care about his manpain the least in An Offer From A Gentleman. And I still cared about his manpain the least in Bridgerton S1 (regardless of how well Luke Thompson played the character.). 

Ps: pardon if I used racial terms that offended anyone here. In my culture calling a person Black, White or Latina, isn’t seen as an insult. So if any of you got offended, it was completely unintentional.