#Sometimes I just choose to Ignore the weird shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hollowed-theory-hall · 9 months ago

Note

your post on harry’s handwriting was an eye-opener for me! ik his writing resembled his mother some and is decent overall, but i’ve never seen pics of it!

idk where the horde of fanfic writers came up with the weird notion that harry has bad/chicken scratch handwriting, which triggers me every. time. they make out his handwriting to be messy, his eating habits sloppy, his speech behaviour bumbling, his appearance unkempt, and that he’s rather messy as a person. which boggles the mind, because he’s used to cleaning up after the dursleys and probably enjoys an orderly space, if not super spic and span??? is it only certain fandoms, cuz they make the other character(s) all elegance personified and well-mannered? like, harry already is a well-mannered boy, otherwise petunia would’ve been tutting, clucking, and dying of shame even more before the nieghbours lmaoo. idk whether to cry or laugh, and sometimes it’s such a turn-off that i choose to rage quit fics.

please, if you have the time, i would love a thorough breakdown/meta on how harry actually comes across as a person!

Okay, I have so much to say about this. And omg, Harry's chicken scratch handwriting is one of my pet peeves in fics (here's the handwriting post, btw). Harry's characterization when done wrong in general, tbh is a huge turn-off for me. Becouse I love Harry, he's my boy.

So, what we're gonna look at is how other characters in the books perceive Harry, how he comes across in universe to people who can't read his mind (like we can, as the readers).

I'll start with a general note about how most characters in the books don't really know Harry. This is mostly because Harry, contrary to fanon interpretations, is a very private person and rarely talks about himself/his feelings/his thoughts out loud. This is a habit I believe was ingrained into him by the Dursleys.

Like, I mentioned in the past Harry doesn't talk as much as other characters. Scenes of the trio usually consist of mostly Ron and Hermione talking, for example. This is not becouse he doesn't have thoughts (he's quite judgmental inside his head, and we know he has a lot to say), but becouse he's used to not voicing a lot of them thanks to the Dursleys.

This essay turned out pretty long, but here we go:

How do others see Harry?

Harry comes off as confident. Harry is a defiant and courageous person, and this often comes off as confidence to other people. It's why Snape thinks Harry is arrogant and why most students are always sure Harry meant to do what he did. They think he has shit together because he comes off like he does:

Harry stayed silent. Snape was trying to provoke him into telling the truth. He wasn’t going to do it. Snape had no proof — yet. “How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter,” Snape said suddenly, his eyes glinting. “He too was exceedingly arrogant. A small amount of talent on the Quidditch field made him think he was a cut above the rest of us too. Strutting around the place with his friends and admirers . . . The resemblance between you is uncanny.” “My dad didn’t strut,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “And neither do I.”

(PoA, Ch14)

Snape sees Harry as arrogant, when in fact Harry is just defiant and intelligent.

“But you’ve been too busy saving the Wizarding world,” said Ginny, half laughing. “Well ... I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”

(HBP, Ch30)

Ginny (and other characters) believe he likes to save the wizarding world. That he is this confident hero and savior. I mean, they believe her lie about the tattoo, which says a lot:

and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.” Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them. “What did you tell her?” “I told her it’s a Hungarian Horntail,” said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. “Much more macho.”

(HBP, Ch25)

Harry doesn't see himself as leader material, but it's clear everyone else does:

“I think we ought to elect a leader,” said Hermione. “Harry’s leader,” said Cho at once, looking at Hermione as though she were mad, and Harry’s stomach did yet another back flip. “Yes, but I think we ought to vote on it properly,” said Hermione, unperturbed. “It makes it formal and it gives him authority. So — everyone who thinks Harry ought to be our leader?” Everybody put up their hands, even Zacharias Smith, though he did it very halfheartedly. “Er — right, thanks,” said Harry, who could feel his face burning.

(OotP, Ch18)

Neville Longbottom, who gave a roar of delight, leapt down from the mantelpiece and yelled. “I knew you’d come! I knew it, Harry!”

(DH, Ch28)

“Look who it is! Didn’t I tell you?” As Harry emerged into the room beyond the passage, there were several screams and yells: “HARRY!” “It’s Potter, it’s POTTER!” “Ron!” “Hermione!” [...] “Are you all right, Harry?” Neville was saying. “Want to sit down? I expect you’re tired, aren’t—?” “No,” said Harry. He looked at Ron and Hermione, trying to tell them without words that Voldemort has just discovered the loss of one of the other Horcruxes. Time was running out fast: If Voldemort chose to visit Hogwarts next, they would miss their chance. “We need to get going,” he said, and their expression told him that they understood. “What are we going to do, then, Harry?” asked Seamus. “What’s the plan?” “Plan?” repeated Harry. He was exercising all his willpower to prevent himself succumbing again to Voldemort’s rage: His scar was still burning. “Well, there’s something we—Ron, Hermione, and I—need to do, and then we’ll get out of here.” Nobody was laughing or whooping anymore. Neville looked confused.

(DH, Ch29)

Everyone expected Harry in DH to have a plan of attack the moment he arrived because that's how he acts. Even in the above scene, he's in terrible pain from his scar, but the others don't see it. What they see is a Harry who looks exhausted but says no to rest because there's work to be done and they expect this of him. They see someone fearless and capable with a plan who could lead them, but this isn't what we see because we're inside his head.

How Harry doesn't speak much and acts overall quite distant, as in, he actively avoids the girls who fancy him:

Then he blinked and looked around: He was surrounded by mesmerized girls. “Hi, Harry!” said a familiar voice from behind him. “Neville!” said Harry in relief, turning to see a round-faced boy struggling toward him

(HBP, Ch7)

And he only has two close friends and barley knows the other students in his year. Most students only know Harry Potter from the stories, rumors, and Dumbledore's end-of-the-year speeches about his heroism. They have no clue who the real Harry is — so they expect the hero they do hear about.

He stands his ground a lot (again, defiance):

Harry turned to McLaggen to tell him that, most unfortunately, Ron had beaten him, only to find McLaggen’s red face inches from his own. He stepped back hastily. “His sister didn’t really try,” said McLaggen menacingly. There was a vein pulsing in his temple like the one Harry had often admired in Uncle Vernon’s. “She gave him an easy save.” “Rubbish,” said Harry coldly. “That was the one he nearly missed.”

(HBP, Ch11)

And more often than not, he does so coldly and calmly. A lot of his more fiery anger is a sign of trauma with Harry, his baseline anger reaction is cold.

All of this adds to him appearing to others as controlled, confident, and like he has everything together and could never have any issues. He comes off as this bigger than life person to most people. Snape isn't the only one who reads Harry's behavior as confident. But it's actually far from the truth.

We, as the readers, see how depressed Harry is. How lowly he thinks of himself and how much he doesn't think of himself as anything special when he very clearly is. But the fact he doesn't say any of it and has mastered the skill of acting cold and like everything is fine when he literally wants to die at the age of 5, no one knows. Even Ron and Hermione didn't truly realize the full extent of Harry's low self-worth until 5th year.

The other students are shocked to see Harry as angry as he is in book 5 because he's often way more controlled and well-mannered than that. They're used to seeing him cold and quiet, not firey. Most of his fire stays inside his head unless he's really angry or emotional in general (or traumatized):

Professor Umbridge sat down behind her desk again. Harry, however, stood up. Everyone was staring at him; Seamus looked half-scared, half-fascinated. “Harry, no!” Hermione whispered in a warning voice, tugging at his sleeve, but Harry jerked his arm out of her reach. “So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?” Harry asked, his voice shaking. There was a collective intake of breath from the class, for none of them, apart from Ron and Hermione, had ever heard Harry talk about what had happened on the night that Cedric had died. They stared avidly from Harry to Professor Umbridge

(OotP, Ch12)

The shock of the other students, I believe, is because of what he's saying, yes, but it's also because Harry is behaving very unlike him here. He usually doesn't shout at teachers or anyone, really. He rarely speaks in classes actually.

And regarding his confidence, everyone, Ron and Hermione included, was sure Harry is super skilled and that that's how he evaded Voldemort:

“You don’t know what it’s like! You — neither of you — you’ve never had to face him, have you? You think it’s just memorizing a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like you’re in class or something? The whole time you know there’s nothing between you and dying except your own — your own brain or guts or whatever — like you can think straight when you know you’re about a second from being murdered, or tortured, or watching your friends die — they’ve never taught us that in their classes, what it’s like to deal with things like that — and you two sit there acting like I’m a clever little boy to be standing here, alive, like Diggory was stupid, like he messed up — you just don’t get it, that could just as easily have been me, it would have been if Voldemort hadn’t needed me —” “We weren’t saying anything like that, mate,” said Ron, looking aghast. “We weren’t having a go at Diggory, we didn’t — you’ve got the wrong end of the —” He looked helplessly at Hermione, whose face was stricken.

(OotP, Ch15)

They didn't for a second think he wasn't confident in his own abilities because Harry acts in a way that comes off as confident and capable. It's why everyone so easily accepts him as a leader under various circumstances. He acts level-headed while he's terrified, so everyone thinks he knows what he's doing except Harry (and the reader). Ron and Hermione had zero doubts Harry's skill was a big part of why he survived book 4, it's only Harry who doesn't think that.

The fact Snape bothered to extract his own memories during his Occlumancy lessons goes to show how he thinks Harry is talented, contrary to his words. He feared Harry would reverse the connection and see into his mind, otherwise he wouldn't have taken these precautions.

Think of Voldemort’s resurrection even. Inside his mind, we know Harry's terrified. We know he has no idea what he's doing.

But imagine being a Death Eater in the crowd and you see this 14-year-old kid stand up after being Crucio-ed by their lord, and he stands up, resists the imperius, and shouts at your lord like he thinks of himself as equal to him — or, perhaps, better than him:

“I asked you whether you want me to do that again,” said Voldemort softly. “Answer me! Imperio!” [...] I WON’T!” And these words burst from Harry’s mouth; they echoed through the graveyard, and the dream state was lifted as suddenly as though cold water had been thrown over him — back rushed the aches that the Cruciatus Curse had left all over his body — back rushed the realization of where he was, and what he was facing. . . . “You won’t?” said Voldemort quietly, and the Death Eaters were not laughing now.

(GoF, Ch34)

That's pretty badass. Harry comes off like a confidant badass. And he gets more badass and confident as he matures (even if he isn't actually as confident as he appears).

Even in the DoM, Lucius Malfoy, who was in the graveyard, takes Harry seriously:

“Don’t do anything,” he [Harry] muttered. “Not yet —” The woman who had mimicked him let out a raucous scream of laughter. “You hear him? You hear him? Giving instructions to the other children as though he thinks of fighting us!” “Oh, you don’t know Potter as I do, Bellatrix,” said Malfoy softly. “He has a great weakness for heroics; the Dark Lord understands this about him. Now give me the prophecy, Potter.”

(OotP, Ch35)

Bellatrix makes fun of how Harry gives the other kids orders as if they're going to fight, but Lucius knows better, he knows Harry is going to fight, and I think, he's scared of what would happen when he does. Even Bellatrix quickly starts taking Harry more seriously:

“Oh, he knows how to play, little bitty baby Potter,” she said, her mad eyes staring through the slits in her hood. “Very well, then —”

(OotP, Ch35)

And she changes her tone completely after he casts a Crucio at her:

“Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?” she yelled. She had abandoned her baby voice now.

(OotP, Ch36)

His aura is one of competence and confidence even when he's frightened and has no idea what he's doing. Especially when he's frightened and has no idea what he's doing.

And for the most part, he doesn't come off nearly as judgmental as he actually is, because he doesn't say a lot of what he thinks. We only see him start to actually speak his mind and be more sassy out loud around 5th and 6th year. And even then, his highly judgmental physical descriptions stay part of his narration, they aren't spoken:

“That’s the bell,” said Harry listlessly, because Ron and Hermione were bickering too loudly to hear it. They did not stop arguing all the way down to Snape’s dungeon, which gave Harry plenty of time to reflect that between Neville and Ron he would be lucky ever to have two minutes’ conversation with Cho that he could look back on without wanting to leave the country.

(OotP, Ch12)

Ron and Hermione banter while Harry feels done with them, but he doesn't really say anything or complain. He keeps a lot of his thoughts inside his head.

If we look at how Ron, Hermione, and Sirius see Harry, they're the closest to who Harry actually is as these three know Harry best. (They're also more objective than Harry who looks down on himself)

After the book 5 conversation I mentioned above, Ron and Hermione are more aware of Harry's insecurities, but they find them silly. They see Harry as incredibly capable and skilled:

“Did he?” said Harry. Behind him he felt rather than heard Hermione passing his message to the others and he sought to keep talking, to distract the Death Eaters.

(OotP, Ch35)

“What are we going to do with them?” Ron whispered to Harry through the dark; then, even more quietly, “Kill them? They’d kill us. They had a good go just now.” Hermione shuddered and took a step backward. Harry shook his head. “We just need to wipe their memories,” said Harry.

(DH, Ch9)

When danger comes, everyone's instantly following Harry's lead. Harry's the planner when the situation is dangerous, he calls the shots, not Hermione. Hermione and Ron look to Harry for a plan when things get tough, and Harry always figures something out. Now, we see Harry thinking he has no idea what to do:

He could not think what to do but to keep talking. Neville’s arm was pressed against his, and he could feel him shaking. He could feel one of the other’s quickened breath on the back of his head. He was hoping they were all thinking hard about ways to get out of this, because his mind was blank.

(OotP, Ch35)

But Ron and Hermione don't. No one does. They just see Harry coming up with a plan to save them. Every time. They don't see him wracking his brain for a way to keep everyone alive.

Hermione never considers Harry stupid, not even in first year:

“I’m not as good as you,” said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him. “Me!” said Hermione. “Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!”

(PS, Ch16)

And Ron clearly doesn't expect stupid behavior from Harry. He's surprised and shocked when Harry does something he considers stupid:

“What the hell,” panted Ron, holding up the Horcrux, which swung backward and forward on its shortened chain in some parody of hypnosis, “didn’t you take this thing off before you dived?”

(DH, 19)

Both Ron and Hermione trust Harry's opinion and they trust him to know what to do when shit hits the fan. When things are dangerous, both Ron and Hermione (and everyone else) turn to Harry to know what to do becouse that's the aura he has:

“I’d tell him we’re all with him in spirit,” said Lupin, then hesitated slightly. “And I’d tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.” Harry looked at Hermione, whose eyes were full of tears. “Nearly always right,” she repeated.

(DH, Ch22)

Hermione agrees with Lupin's assessment here. Dumbledore did too, he's the one who told Kingsley and Remus to trust Harry's instincts. Harry doesn't give the impression he's messy and bumbling, quite the opposite. Yes, Harry and Hermione have their doubts, they don't agree with Harry on everything, especially when he has no evidence for his claim except his intuition. But, it's telling Harry can make claims based on gut feeling and Ron and Hermione ask him why he thinks that instead of just instantly rejecting the claims.

Like I mentioned above, he looks like he has his shit together even when he really doesn't. He's an expert in keeping a mask on and bottling up his feelings.

Sirius, also sees Harry as mature and capable for his age. It's why he's so insistent on telling him things while Molly wants to cuddle Harry:

“I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly,” said Sirius. “But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back” (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name), “he has more right than most to —” “He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!” said Mrs. Weasley. “He’s only fifteen and —” “— and he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,” said Sirius, “and more than some —” “No one’s denying what he’s done!” said Mrs. Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. “But he’s still—” “He’s not a child!” said Sirius impatiently.

(OotP, Ch5)

Between them, Sirius sees Harry more accurately. Harry is incredibly mature and capable and wants to be in the know. He'd be better off in the know. Sirius understands Harry's curiosity which Molly seems unaware of. Lupin also remarks on how Harry is going to find out things anyway, he's aware of how curious and determined Harry is. Sirius considers Harry capable even during PoA and GoF:

I know better than anyone that you can look after yourself and while you’re around Dumbledore and Moody I don’t think anyone will be able to hurt you.

(GoF, Ch18)

Molly, on the other hand, never really sees Harry's capabilities. Molly only ever sees a polite, intelligent kid. In the early years at the Weasley, Harry barely talks to Molly and Arthur because he doesn't really know how to talk to them. So they talk to him, the other Weasleys talk around him, and he's polite in turn:

“I don’t blame you, dear,” she assured Harry, tipping eight or nine sausages onto his plate. “Arthur and I have been worried about you, too. Just last night we were saying we’d come and get you ourselves if you hadn’t written back to Ron by Friday. But really” (she was now adding three fried eggs to his plate), “flying an illegal car halfway across the country — anyone could have seen you —”

(CoS, Ch3)

Harry acts around most adults like this, especially when younger. It's clear he acted this way around his teachers too:

“You see what you expect to see, Severus,” said Dumbledore, without raising his eyes from a copy of Transfiguration Today. “Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him an engaging child.”

(DH, Ch33)

Snape got it a bit different. Because Harry is defiant and sassy — it's how he responds to the Dursleys, and this is how he responds to threats he can't do anything about in general. Sass. It's why we see Harry do this with Umbridge, Snape, and Scrimgeour:

Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?” inquired Professor Umbridge in a horribly honeyed voice. “Hmm, let’s think . . .” said Harry in a mock thoughtful voice, “maybe Lord Voldemort?”

(OotP, Ch12)

“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry stiffly. “Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”

(HBP, Ch9)

“...You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It’s time you learned some respect!” “It’s time you earned it.” said Harry.

(DH, Ch7)

Harry appears confidant and arrogant not only to Snape but to Scrimgeour too (I think other students at Hogwarts see Harry as arrogant too. His demeanor can come off as arrogant if you don't know what he's thinking. It's why they could believe the Daily Prophet, it fit what they got to see). It's because he is rude and sassy when speaking his mind. It's because he acts more confident when he's terrified. It's because he's cold, distant, and uncaring towards most people and actively avoids talking to most.

And even that's mostly when he's older. In 4th year, he responds to Snape by glaring at him silently and wishing he could cast a Crucio at him:

Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .

(GoF, Ch18)

Harry is overall really quiet, which does create the impression of him being put together. More than he thinks of himself, for sure. It also adds to why many students feel as comfortable talking about him as they do because he feels distant to them. His quiet makes him feel mysterious, unknown, and far away. Like a symbol rather than a person.

Something I want to note, specifically with Umbridge, is this scene:

Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile. “Yes?” “Nothing,” said Harry quietly. He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time; once again the words had been cut into his skin, once again they healed over seconds later.

(OotP, Ch13)

Part of why Harry comes off as such a put-together badass is that he doesn't let others see his pain. He doesn't show he's in pain to others, especially when it's people he doesn't like. He acts though, constantly.

He hates crying in front of others becouse Harry does everything he can to not appear weak:

Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.

(PoA, Ch12)

And it works, people see him as confident, and capable, and heroic. Most people don't see the struggle because Harry keeps bottling it in.

Even with Hermione, he tries not to let her see how upset he actually is. We know in his head, that he is devastated by his wand breaking, that he's mourning it like it was a dead loved one, but this is what he's willing to show Hermione:

“It was an accident,” said Harry mechanically. He felt empty, stunned. “We’ll—we’ll find a way to repair it.” [...] “Well,” he said, in a falsely matter-of-fact voice, “well, I’ll just borrow yours for now, then. While I keep watch.”

(DH, Ch17)

All this means, we, as the readers , see Harry's pain, his struggles, his vulnerability — but the other characters almost never do.

The only character who is consistently aware of Harry's struggles is Sirius who Harry confides his weaknesses to more than any other character:

“Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously. “I’m —” For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days

(GoF, Ch19)

Harry is so used to saying his fine and bearing his burdens in silence. It's what he does. It's what he did for years. Most characters think Harry is unshakable because that's how he acts.

Even when Harry tries to lie so Sirius won't worry, Sirius sees through it:

Nice try, Harry. I’m back in the country and well hidden. I want you to keep me posted on everything that’s going on at Hogwarts.

(GoF, Ch15)

As for his room and appearance, he is a little messy actually when he has the chance to be in seventh year:

Harry had spent the morning completely emptying his school trunk for the first time since he had packed it six years ago. At the start of the intervening school years, he had merely skimmed off the topmost three quarters of the contents and replaced or updated them, leaving a layer of general debris at the bottom—old quills, desiccated beetle eyes, single socks that no longer fit.

(DH, Ch2)

As in, his trunk is a bit of a mess. But this makes sense, I think. He allows himself to be messy when he doesn't have the Dursleys over his head. It's like a sort of freedom he didn't have before, so he indulges in it. I think the mess in his trunk is also a result of him actually living from it for 6 years, as he couldn't really leave everything at home with the Dursleys, could he? Still, his room and belongings are nowhere near as messy as Ron's.

As for his appearance, the only thing mentioned to be messy is his hair:

His jet-black hair, however, was just as it always had been — stubbornly untidy, whatever he did to it

(PoA, Ch1)

But from other characters (including Hermione) thinking Harry's hot:

“Oh, come on, Harry,” said Hermione, suddenly impatient. “It’s not Quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! You’ve never been more interesting, and frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable.”

(HBP, Ch11)

We can conclude Harry's messy hair comes off as cool and attractive and not like a bird's nest.

We also see from Hermione and others that Harry looks scary. He is 5'11 by book 6 with an intimidating glare and that he looks like he can throw a punch, (and can definitely throw a punch when he wants to). So he has a physical intimidation factor when older:

“Well, it’s like Hagrid said, they can look after themselves,” said Hermione impatiently, “and I suppose a teacher like Grubbly-Plank wouldn’t usually show them to us before N.E.W.T. level, but, well, they are very interesting, aren’t they? The way some people can see them and some can’t! I wish I could.” “Do you?” Harry asked her quietly. She looked horrorstruck. “Oh Harry — I’m sorry — no, of course I don’t — that was a really stupid thing to say —”

(OotP, Ch21)

Harry was not aware of releasing George, all he knew was that a second later both of them were sprinting at Malfoy. He had completely forgotten the fact that all the teachers were watching: All he wanted to do was cause Malfoy as much pain as possible. With no time to draw out his wand, he merely drew back the fist clutching the Snitch and sank it as hard as he could into Malfoy’s stomach — “Harry! HARRY! GEORGE! NO!” He could hear girls’ voices screaming, Malfoy yelling, George swearing, a whistle blowing, and the bellowing of the crowd around him, but he did not care, not until somebody in the vicinity yelled “IMPEDIMENTA!” and only when he was knocked over backward by the force of the spell did he abandon the attempt to punch every inch of Malfoy he could reach. . . .

(OotP, Ch19)

To summarise

Harry bottles up a lot of his emotions and tends to be quiet, this creates the often wrong impression he is confident and has his shit together.

He doesn't show pain and weakness to others and doesn't cry or show he's upset to basically anyone (except Sirius). This means basically no one sees his struggles or how depressed and traumatized Harry actually is. It even surprises Ron and Hermione in book 5.

He is defiant and rude to people he doesn't like, especially when scared, the result is that he appears like a very capable and confident badass especially when under pressure.

He can be intimidating with his glare alone and once he's older he is a physical presence. He's not someone who can disappear in a crowd post-book 5.

His rudeness oftentimes stays in his head except when someone really annoys him. This makes him appear defiant, but overall polite because he keeps most of his mean comments to himself.

When younger, he is very polite and quiet, especially toward adults. When he's older, he gets a little sassier (as in, he says some of his internal monologue out loud). But he is a polite, well-mannered kid for the most part.

The character who has a messy room, is a bit of a slob, has chicken scratch handwriting, and is lazy with schoolwork, is Ronald Weasley, who I love dearly, but these descriptions have nothing to do with Harry and everything to do with Ron.

The only unkempt thing about Harry's appearance is likely his Potter hair, which is more messy hot than messy bad (if all the girls' reactions are anything to go by).

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #hollowedtheory #harry potter meta #asks #anonymous #harry james potter #my best boy hjp

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hhrtfelt · 1 month ago

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I AM ALL THE DAYS YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE

this story contains mentions of sex, extreme injuries, suicide/ overdose, hallucinations/schizophrenia, self harm, and alot more. i am not responsible for the media you consume.

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3.6k wrds　⠀𓎢𝄄ׅ𓎟ׄ⠀⠀✚ ۪ ཀ　　mlist . 　📞

you and namgyu always had a uncomfortable and unhealthy relationship. whether that be ur multiple attempts at a “romantic relationship” or that be the countless hookups the two of you had. when the two of you would hook up in the back of club pentagon, he swore you were the best thing to ever grace him. i mean, he was completely head over heels for you. sometimes, he liked pamper you and sometimes he wouldn’t. being a club promoter means you don’t really have time for bullshit like foreplay and what not. he enjoyed how straightforward the sex was. condom, spit, thrust. that simple. after multiple awkward and painful (only for you) hookups, you to decide to “get to know eachother” ( drugs together and hook up even more ) you were absolutely dick whipped, it was honestly embarrassing. the two of you had moments when you were not having intimate relations or smoking weed or taking a new pill, which was pretty nice.

he didn’t like giving aftercare that much due to his busy schedule or constant stubbornness, but when he saw you laying there like you needed something to hold, his eyes softened as he put his phone down and his cigarette into the ash try as he snuggled his lean arms under your armpits, pulling you up to lay with him, the two of you both still naked. you immediately leaned into his touch, you hand on his bare shoulder as your eyes closed. this felt weird and unnatural for him. this is completely not in his nature at all, he felt uncomfortable, but after a awhile he finally warmed up to you being so clingy, which he would’ve hated for anyone else. he soon drifted off into his own sleep.

when the two of you began to become more than fuck buddies (dating) he wasn’t the best partner you could ever ask for. to cut it short; he was extremely toxic and possessive. you felt like you couldn’t go to club pentagon with him without his arm being around your shoulder or he would immediately tell you to cover up if u were going on it with your friends on a hot sunny day. nam-gyu was a cheater. a repeat offender. i mean, what did you expect? did you really expect a fling that started in a club to not cheat on you in the same place where he scored you? when you didn’t feel like going to club pentagon or walked away for a minute to go pee, you would catch him making out with other women constantly or even about to fuck them, but you awkwardly intervened before anything actually happened. everyone that was a regular at club pentagon knew your boyfriend was a cheater, and you know was well. he always blamed the pills and the alcohol for his doings, which happened at least 3 times a week. he couldn’t just quit his job because you wanted to. if you brought it up, he would just call you a controlling bitch and leave you for another couple hours, alone in your shared apartment. but why couldn’t you just leave him?

nam-gyu had wonderful ways of manipulating, gaslighting you and making you feel weak. after he would come home wasted and too high to even function, he would block out your questions and just reassure you with, “babe, i just had a crazy late shift.. y’know…?” his words were always slurred and you would always end up taking care of him after his “late” shifts at club pentagon. it was exhausting, he was exhausting, everything in your life was exhausting. you felt like you had no other place to go other than back to your shared apartment sometimes and it didn’t help that nam-gyu always threatened to overdose or hang himself if you left him.

you were in deep shit with money due to your mom leaving behind all of be revers and putting them in your name, but you didn’t know he also was. you were about to take public transport to pick up some food you were craving as this well dressed young man, didn’t look any older than 30 cake up to you with two envelopes. a red one and a blue one, this game felt oddly familiar to your childhood. after conversing with the man you guys decided to play ddjaki, and if you lost, he got to slap you..? whatever. all you knew is that he had money and he was willing to give you some if you won. you didn’t your best to win, but this game was really kicking your ass. you left the public subway with a brown envelope and a red cheek, massaging your cheek with one hand and card in other before you ultimately pulled out your phone and started to dial the number. as you were almost done, you got a call. from namgyu of all people. you let out of a groan before picking it up and putting the phone to your ear. “yes babe?” you said, sticking the card in your jacket pocket as you kept the phone up to your ear, pacing around the subway station as he spoke “heyyy… do you think you can pick me up? i—i know your car just broke down but if u could just give me money for a taxi i would be very grateful, please baby? please.” he said on the other line, his words was slurred and his background playing heavy music. “nam-gyu, i really don’t have any money right now. i’m so sorry.” before he could say anything, you quickly hung up and continued to dial the phone number on that card, ignoring his angry text and attempts to call you.

the last thing you expected was to wake up in a room with 455 other people in it, the number on your chest being 053. you realized you woke up later than the other few characters as you stayed hidden on your bed, peaking out to watch the big screens as these guards where these stupid children mask and pink suits. you soon learned that this was a place for you to clear the debt you had, great! and you only had to play a few children’s games you remembered from your childhood? this was gonna be a quick way to pay off the deb— your thoughts were cut off as you saw that stupid bob. namgyu was here? seriously? oh gosh.. you saw him standing near a guy with annoyingly vibrant purple hair, which he seemed very attached to. the two of them were attacking this other player you soon learned was ‘mg coin’. apparently, player 333 did youtube videos with crypto and ultimately lost every dime him and his subscribers had due to a stupid investment in some dumb nft? you didn’t understand it, but this sounds like something namgyu would definitely fall for. you eventually got off of the bunk bed, blending into the crow as you zipped the accommodated jacket all the way up, you hands in your pockets. you tried your best not to lock eyes with namgyu, who was acting like a complete lunatic at the moment. unfortunately, due to your shitty luck the tow of you locked eyes and you saw his pupils enlarge wa he ditched “thanos” and “mg coin” to go talk to you.

“[name], the fuck are you doing here?!” he said as he gave you a slight nudge as you gave him the cold shoulder. he missed when you were all soft and submissive for him. his perfect little doll. but now it looked like you grew a backbone, which namgyu was not into at all whatsoever. “i would’ve asked you thee same question but i already got my answer, namgyu.” you said, looking at him for a split second before turning your attention away from him. “whatever baby.“ he said, getting in your face as he walked away from you and back to thanos.

the first game was red light green light, simple, right? but what would a game show be without a twist? if you move during red light, you die. you were absolutely petrified as you watched the first girl die and this random old man that was definitely off some sort of drugs say that he’s “played these games before”? whatever that means. it was easy enough to get through red light green light, which you took for granted. after successfully passing that game, blood stained on your jacket, you couldn’t just sleep. you sat up straight in the top bunk until the lights blared on and some sort of distorted children’s song started playing.

the next game was the “sex legged pentathlon” sounds easy enough right? but you didn’t have six legs. you stayed to yourself as other people teamed up with eachother, not really having the corine to walk up to anyone else. this nice woman, which you learned her name was se-mi offered you to join her team, you had no one else so you just said yes. what you didn’t know was that nam-gyu was int eh team, you felt his eyes staring extremely hard at you as you tried to introduce yourself to everyone else in the group before the game started. in your position in line, you were in the middle, squished inbetween namgyu and se-mi. how great. you were waiting for the game to start as “thanos” opened his cross and there were colorful assortments of pills in there. you didn’t say anything but just stared at thanos and namgyu as they took the pills. this will be a long day, you thought. when the game started, you were extremely nervous but tried to keep your composure until it was time to play your game. luckily, you got the one you were the best at, gonggi. your hands were shaky as you kneeled on the ground, everyone’s eyes glued onto you and you shakily threw the pieces into the air and caught them with ease, you didn’t even know you were this good until you finished the game, the sound of your teammates cheers fulfilling your ego.

after the game was over, everyone went back to the main area, finding somewhere to sit with your group and talk till something happened. you and namgyu exchanged awkward looks and moments ima. conversation before thanos decided to speak up on it. “do you two know eachother or something? namsu? do you know this chic?” before any of you could respond the guards walked into the main room, a extremely large piggy bank coming from the sky and stacks of cash being put into it before two stands that looked like voting stands showed up. you stared in awe as both this came up at the same time “hello players. after every game, you will have to choose to stay or leave. O is to stay and when lore money, and X is to leave and split the money with the amount of players there currently are. you will be called by number.” everyone got up from where they were sitting and lined up. as soon it was your turn you looked back at your team, namgyu and thanos holding up O’s and trying to encourage you to vote O, but when you went up there, you voted for X. how could you? they were livid as they watched you waltz over to the X side. you were soon joined by se-mi, leaving min-su, thanos, and nam-gyu on the O side. min-su looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

nam-gyu and thanos constantly gave you and se-mi misogynistic comments once in a while, which almost sent you at the edge. but luckily, se-mi was your saving grace. ever since the games tarted, you never got to really talk to namgyu one on one ever since the games first started. as it was time for lights out and for the players to go to sleep, you quietly made your way to nam-guys bed, poking his side. he quickly jolted up and was siting straight up, staring up at you like you just killed his whole bloodline. “[name]?! what the fuck is wrong with you?! you women are crazy…” he said as he gave you a stank look. “nam-gyu, i wanted to talk about something, about us. about what we were before the games. and no, it can’t wait.” “wha—what are you talking about woman? you wanna talk about us? you wanna hear about what we were? ok, i’ll tell you. we were just a fling, [name]. you wanted all these crazy and flashy titles so i just took it because i needed to please you so you could continue to have sed with me, ok? we aren’t dating. we were just flirty fuck buddies.” he said all at once, watching your pupils widen as he spoke, his tone filled his disgust and anger. you didn’t even had any words to say as you nodded, walking back to your bed. you felt his rough hands latch onto you and spin you around. “you just gonna walk away and not please me?” he said, his tone sounding genuinely offended. “get to doing what you do best, girl.” he said as he shimmied his pants and underwear off, his dick rock hard. you let out a sigh as you started to take your own pants off as his voice cut through. “no, no, no sweetie. you’re gonna give me top, i don’t want that ran through pussy(or hole depending on what genital you prefer to have).” he said, crossing his arms with a smug look on his face as he watched you pull your pants back up as you got comfortable and got to work on his cock. after he came, he immediately shoo’ed you away back to your bed.

ever since thanos died and namgyu killed se-mi, nothing has ever been the same. you felt like you had to constantly watch you back, and min-su was just avoiding you. was it guilt? did he think you did it? you watched as nam-gyu began to spiral each day, the pills becoming apart of his routine in this hellhole. after lights out and the revenge arc, everyone in the main area was completely silent as more and more guards began to come in the room each day for more security. the next game; “keys and knives” as it was called. when you entered the room, there was a gumball machine in the middle of it. when it was your time to draw from it, you got the blue gumball. that can’t be good, you thought as you walked over to your assigned area. after a bit of waiting, you were given keys and the other side was given… knives? what kind of fucked up shit is this? you realized that namgyu was on the red team, pulling out the knife and waving it on the people from your side. the last thing this name needed was a knife. if you needed any protection, you still clutched a blood fork in your pocket from lights out that you used on some other random person trying to kill you.

as soon as the game started you held the key in your hand instead of around your neck, walking around the big maze, wary of everything.

out of nowhere, min-su on the other side came running at you with a knife. you yelped as you dodged his hits and began to run, and run, and run and run until you felt yourself fall onto the stairs, you ankle taking the fall as you watched it become red and puffy. you quickly tried to stand up, yelping as you limped up the stairs, still running away form the player. as you were attempting to run, you ran into them again, the knife that min-su was chasing you reached your whole arm as you tried to dodge, the sleeve of your jacket being completely cut and… your arm become to bleed. a lot. you thought it was because he thought you hurt se-mi which was obviously not true. you looked over at your arm as you continued to run o form the man to realize that it was cut open. and it was cut open. deep. you almost threw up as you saw, but you continued to run. luckily, you found a room that took the shape of your key, rushing to open it immediately as you crashed onto the floor, tears spilling from your arms as you were completely injured. you didn’t think you were gonna make it out alive, and you would die from bleeding out. your eyes were closed as the door swung open, revealing that stupid prick namgyu and his… now friend ‘mg coin’ before you could think, you saw mg coin attempt to lunge at you as namgyu held him back. “mg coin.. wait..” namgyu was clearly fucking blown into proportion as he got closer to you, dropping his knife as he took the jacket off of his hips, moving your hand off of your extremely bloody arm, wrapping his jacket around it, his pupils enlarged and his hands extremely shaky. after a awhile of attempting to wrap your arm, he finally did it as he backed away, but before he did that he whispered in your ear “i will find who did this, i’m the only person that can hurt you.” he said with a chuckle, backing up and skipping away with mg coin. you noticed while he was helping you, he left his cross which he didn’t notice yet. you scooted over to it as you picked it up with your free hand, realizing there were about 4 pills left. with no hesitation, you took them all at once. you thoguht that if you were gonna go out, you might as well go out quietly. you realized there was probably no reason for you to look for the exit as you sat in the room as you started to feel to effects of the drugs. your vision got hazy, you started to shake; a lot. you felt numb, and you started to see things. see people. you saw se-mi, you thought u were having a full conversation with her as you continued to speak to yourself back and fourth. but you weren’t speaking to yourself. you were talking to se-mi you were having a connection. real, physical connection. the two of you were cut short by the game ending. you realized a bit after you stopped talking to her that she really wasn’t there and you bursted into tears in your pillow.

the next game. jump rope. but you weren’t worried about that. you were confused on why you were dead. you spaced out as you heard namgyu yelp and go down to the floor as min-su held the cross that was full of pills in it. without any hesitation he threw it into the platform. you watched him somehow make it to the end and check the cross before realizing it was empty, completely breaking down. you sat down on the bench that was still there as everyone made it past. namgyu realized that you weren’t making an effort to move. he felt extremely nervous. he knew what he made you go through, he knew he was fucked up, but why was he so upset that you weren’t fucking moving? get you ass up and try! he ran a hand through his hair as time began to tick, you finally stood up from the bench, there being about 50 seconds left and players still making there way over to the safe side.

“[name] why the fuck aren’t you moving!” namgyu said as he watched you just stare and stand near the edge.

48.

45.

42.

“[name] time is running out! you can make it! i’ll carry you, please…! please…! please! i need you.” namgyu said as he got on his knees again, he’s completely going crazy.

time was going back extremely fast.

15.

10.

“baby— please, i’m sorry! please!”

you made your way to the ledge as you fell off gracefully, namgyu watching you in distraught as he screamed.

“NO! NO! [name]?!” he said, looking down at the pool of dead characters, looking at your dead body.

after that, namgyu felt no reason to be here. yes, he was in debt, but everything felt like hell, he had no pills, the one person that cared about him just killed themselves in-front of him, he has no hope. he went back to the room which was less full than usual, since more than majority of the players are dead. all their lies of the thanos group is min-su and nam-gyu. nam-gyu tries to sleep, he keeps seeing you, even when his eyes are closed, he can’t do it anymore. he can’t feel anything. he took the time to reflect on everything he did to you after you died. the constant cheating, the peer pressure, the door slamming, the leaving for days at a time, it was all hell. he knew he was a shitty person, even on the pills.

the last game started. nam-gyu wanted to die. to sacrifice himself. he needed that money bad but he felt so much pain he couldn’t ben be his regular cocky self. as the rules of the game began to unfold, nam-gyu almost immediately jumped off the cliff.

now he’ll be with the love of his life and his bestfriends forever, right?

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pixxievomit · 5 days ago

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Heyyy, I hope you're doing okay despite all the bullshit lately. Tumblr is a broken machine working on rotten wires with rats running around and people are just idiots sometimes. Sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else. Sending you good vibes and wishes 💕🫶

This might come off as a really weird ask so...TW: hurt/comfort and family issues I guess.

how do you think would the boys handle their gf asking them for help to run away from home because she's tired of her family bullshit and is on the verge of a breakdown after a recent fight so she needs to breathe somewhere away from her parents for an undefined amount of time? Would they help her or they think she should try to calm down first and talk to the parents first because it's a rash decision?

it is indeed a dumpster fire, but thanks, love.

also, not weird at all — pretty sure myself and several people i know are sitting in the same exact situation.

so, first off: not a single one of them is going to consider it an irrational decision, lmao. nor are they going to stop her, by any means.

♤ dick: he is the MOST likely to stop you, tell you to take a deep breath and spend about five minutes just holding you so you calm down, even a little. he won't ask anything intrusive, but he'd make sure you were okay, first and foremost — it's a dumb question given the situation, but he needs to know you are okay. he won't think it's irrational but be will confirm it's what you really want to do when you can fully tell him that. of course, the moment you clearly tell him that's what you want/need, he's probably just stuffing you in his apartment but if that's not good enough for you, he's definitely helping you out of the city.

◇. jason: he's already got keys in his hand and a foot out the door, telling you he's got a place you can stay when and if you decide to go back. he's pretty aware that sometimes talking in the middle of a bullshit situation can just make things worse. he's all for... attempted communication but he's not going to tell you to try and talk when emotions are so high. he would be the type to tell you that you never had to go back and if you had something to tell them, he'd deliver the letter and let them know you'll come back when you're ready and they get their shit together.

♧. tim: it absolutely takes him a few seconds for the situation to process, like he's trying to figure out which category of "emergency" this is filed under. he would just nod and ask how far you want to be, if you wanted to be fully alone or with him or anyone else around — he's already got several places in mind that would be great spots for you, in and out of city limits, because of course tim drake has hiding spots. he fully understands needing time away from certain people, so he won't question the situation itself too much, but he'd definitely check in on you. the one who looks at you then flat, unbothered: "could just fake your death if you really want to send a message." and don't worry, he's already got identities for you to choose from.

♡. damian: while the rest seem to react on immediate action, he does not. he goes quiet for a moment, already thinking before just.. taking you back home. not to make you stay or to make you talk, no — when talking and fighting doesn't work, actions do. he makes sure someone sees him walk you inside, ignoring absolutely everything around you both and guides you to sit while he packs for you. he doesn't respond to anyone's questions and reaches out to turn your jaw with two fingers towards him so you don't either, silently telling you to keep yourself focused on him. he carries your bag(s) and tucks you into the car before making a final comment to anyone that you'll be back when you feel safe enough to return.

#dc comics #dc scenarios #batfam #batboys #batfam x reader #batboys x reader #tim drake #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #dick grayson x reader #jason todd x reader #damian wayne x reader #tim drake x reader

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dismalflo · 4 months ago

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I think it’d be super cute if reader gave Sirius a new leather jacket on some occasion or just because and had picked out patches during the year to sew on and decorate the back of the jacket with :,)

thank you for requesting!! very cute idea <3 (im saving the patches idea for longer fic in the future)

Sirius Black x reader who buys him a present... just because ✩ 800 words

cw: fluff, established relationship

“Fucking hell.” clipped and frustrated, is the first thing you hear after unlocking the door to Sirius’ flat, shopping bags in hand. The sharpness of his voice has you rushing forward in search of him.

Rounding the corner into the living room, you find him crouched in front of the record player. His brows drawn tight, jaw clenched, and glaring like he’s been betrayed.

“You okay?” you ask softly, trying not to scare him.

But it’s too late. Sirius startles at the sound, whipping around with wide eyes. Clearly the concentration he had on burning a hole with his stare stopped him from hearing you come in.

“Shit, poppet,” he breathes, pressing a hand to his chest. “Y’trying to give me a heart attack?”

You suppress a smile. “You okay?” you repeat, glancing at the various vinyl sleeves strewn around him.

“No,” he huffs, sitting back on his heels. “This bloody thing’s decided it hates music. Keeps skipping on everything I put on.”

Stepping over the mess, you crouch beside him. “Have you tried the penny–” “Yes” he replies faux exasperated, “I’ve tried a penny on the needle.”

“Well, I’m out of ideas, then,” you say with a shrug, smiling as you lean in to inspect the turntable anyway. “Might just be sulking. Machines do that sometimes.”

He narrows his eyes at you, disbelieving, but there’s a faint smirk playing on his lips. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”

“Awful.” You laugh bumping your shoulder into his. “You won't want the present I've got then? Y’know, since you're so upset.” you gesture to the record player, but Sirius’ eyes are pinned on you now.

“Never said that, doll.” he replies, raising an eyebrow, intrigued.

Reaching into the bag set at your side you pull the gift out carefully. A black leather jacket. It's not dissimilar to the one Sirius wears like a second skin most of the time, but it's in better condition, and doesn't have an ever growing hole in the lining that he chooses to ignore.

You don’t hand it to him right away.

“I saw it in the shop, and thought you’d like it. But, if it's weird or you don't like it, it's fine. I can take it back, I think.”

His eyes drop to the jacket, and for a moment, he just stares at it. You feel a flicker of panic. Maybe it was weird. Maybe you’d overstepped. He’s never exactly been easy to shop for. You start to pull it back toward the bag.

But then he’s reaching for it gently, fingers brushing yours as he lifts it into his lap.

“You bought this… for me?” he asks, voice low.

You nod, trying not to fidget. “Yeah.”

He runs a hand down the sleeve, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen him. “This is… fuck, babe, this is nice. Like, expensive, nice.”

“It was on sale,” you lie.

He gives you a look. “You’re a terrible liar.”

You shrug sheepishly. “Am I not allowed to treat you?”

Sirius huffs, shaking his head as he looks down at the jacket again, like he still can’t quite believe it’s real. Then he mutters, almost bashful, “’Course you can. You shouldn’t have though.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” you say flatly, giving him a look. “What kind of logic is that?”

But he doesn’t answer. Not with words, anyway.

His whole face lights up with a boyish, delighted grin and he lunges forward, cupping your face in his hands like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

“You ridiculous thing,” he says, and starts peppering kisses all over your face. Cheeks, nose, forehead, chin; anywhere he can reach. “Buying me things. Loving me, the nerve–”

You giggle, squirming a little under the affection. “Sirius–stop–”

“Nope. Can’t. Won’t. Too in love,” he mumbles between kisses, the corners of his mouth brushing your skin. “Completely helpless, I’m afraid.”

"You still need to try it on." You snort, trying to gently push him away.

“Right,” he says, finally pulling away with a dramatic sigh.

He stands, slinging the jacket over his shoulders and shrugging it into place. It fits like a dream, like it was made just for him. Making his way across the room to the mirror, Sirius assesses the fit and style before giving an approving nod to his reflection.

And then he turns back to you, looking like he might explode from the joy of it all. Still grinning, he crosses the room in two strides and wraps you up in a big, tight hug, lifting your heels slightly off the floor.

“Thank you,” he murmurs into your hair before pulling back just enough to press a lingering, warm kiss to your lips.

“Of course.”

He moves his hands to rest on your cheeks again, looking at you with an unfamiliar intensity, making sure you really hear it when he says, “I mean it, thank you.”

You rest your hands over his ,a touch for a touch.

“I know,” you whisper, shy under his gaze. “You’re welcome.”

masterlist <3

#flo'sfics #marauders au #marauders fics #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black x self insert #sirius black drabble #sirius black fic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black

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threeacttragedy · 9 months ago

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Entry 1 - The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post

This is my first blog entry and, before you start reading, let me just drop in this little disclaimer:

You will find that I bounce between fact and speculation with a mix of sarcasm and [I hope] level-headedness, common sense, and deductive reasoning.

I am a Lukola. Plain and simple. You will not change my mind. It’s an all or nothing thing for me. How I got here, I’m not exactly sure – wait, no I do know how I got here (thank you Nicola and Luke for being so fucking charming).

Of course, I knew what Bridgerton was before I joined the Lukola fandom. In fact, I watched both Seasons 1 and 2, and they were okay. Yes, just okay.

I knew that Season 3 was about Penelope – the only character I found remotely interesting – so when I saw an article on People’s page showing Nicola and her costar holdings hands, I admit I was intrigued.

Were they dating?

Let’s ask Mr. Google and find out.

No, apparently, they were not.

Okay, fine.

I then made the mistake of clicking on a video of Nicola and Luke being interviewed in Australia. And, motherfuck, they were like lightning in a bottle! Luke – being asked if he believed in friends to lovers – responded in a way that left me feeling a bit blindsided. My immediate thought was: “He fell in love with Nicola the moment he met her.” It’s funny how many people I’ve spoken to since who had an identical reaction and, to be honest, Luke’s response won’t make your heart flutter. But, it was something in the way he said it.

Now, let me explain my feelings about love at first sight. Actually, Nicola explained it best when she said lust at first sight is often mistaken for love at first sight. This, I agree with wholeheartedly. To me, love at first sight does not have to be lusty. It can be, sure, but it can also be something entirely different. Maybe it’s a fleeting feeling of recognizing someone in a way you cannot possibly articulate out loud. Maybe it’s a palpitation of your heartbeat. Maybe it feels like home. Regardless, when you experience it, you’ll know it.

That, my friends, is how I got here, and why I [sometimes begrudgingly] stay here – walking alongside this rather long, winding, and often pothole-filled road waiting for two people to admit to the general public – whether it be in a blatant or subtle manner – that they are, in fact, together.

I’ve noticed in this fandom we seem to have three types of people. We have the Sincerely Ignorant, the Conscientiously Stupid, and the Fact Finders.

The Sincerely Ignorant are those that are easily persuaded. They are like sheep following their shepherd. In fact, the Sincerely Ignorant are the most dangerous as they tend to spiral hard and fast – and often without reason.

Next, we have the Conscientiously Stupid. These are the shippers that choose to live in error because it fits their narrative. We are all a bit Conscientiously Stupid but there are those that push an idea so hard that they omit certain truths from their storyboard. The danger here is obvious and their victims always include the Sincerely Ignorant.

Lastly, we have the Fact Finders. The people who track information – key players, side characters, dates, places, statements, etc. These are the people who often find themselves pulling the Sincerely Ignorant out of the water when they spiral, usually due to narratives being pushed by the Conscientiously Stupid.

I am a Fact Finder. Am I perfect? Fuck no, but I do find it fun to collect and analyze information and share it with my fellow Fact Finders. Plus, collecting data helps me maintain some indifference towards the USS Lukola because, let’s face it, this god-damned ship has been blasted by quite a few cannonballs at this point. Some days, I’m surprised we’re still afloat.

Let’s start with Cannonball No. 1. Pap-fucking-smear. June 12/13, 2024. What a fucking shit show. Who shows up to the London premiere? Antonia, Luke’s – I honestly don’t even know what word to use here because I have a lot of different thoughts but out of [a small amount of] respect I will call her – “girl friend” [yes, that space was intentional]. We all know the story, Luke was papped outside his hotel with Antonia on premiere night and he was pegged an overnight dumpster fire.

And, oh my God, the Sincerely Ignorant and Conscientiously Stupid ran with it. I mean, they practically became wild dogs chasing down a fox under the command of Nicola the Huntsman. However, Nicola, almost immediately, came to Luke’s rescue by posting an “in support of” style story to her IG. I’m not saying Nicola wasn’t affected by this mishap. At the very least, the post-premiere PR efforts were dumped squarely on her tiny shoulders. At the worst, she’d had her heart broken.

I never liked the Papsmear pictures. Not because I disliked what they depicted but because there was something “off” about them. Luke didn’t look like a man happy to be out with his lady friend. He looked like a man who had been hoodwinked and whether that was because he knew he’d just made a major PR misstep or because he knew the narrative that would follow was false doesn’t really matter because it’s all speculative. But, what makes me believe it was the latter is what Luke did next.

On June 15, Luke put a story on his IG promoting Season 3. That isn’t all that interesting but the scene it depicted made me do a double take.

Could it be?

No…no way…

But…it was.

It was the scene in Ep. 6 where Cressida entered the Mondrich Ball and Colin pulled Penelope aside and told her he wouldn’t let Cressida ruin their evening.

What in the hot fuck? I mean, really, what in the hot fuck??

Did Luke really just blast out an IG story where his character tells Nicola’s character not to let the Cressida character ruin their evening? Was Cressida…Antonia?

Because that’s fucking loud.

I mean, of all the scenes over four episodes, Luke chose THAT one to promote Pt. 2?

Surely, Antonia or one of her friends or family members would have picked up on this, right? And, told Antonia.

No one is going to convince me that Luke and Antonia were in a blissful relationship after that IG story was posted. Why? Because the deductive reasoning part of my brain tells me Luke chose Nicola straight outta Pap-gate.

The Conscientiously Stupid may [rather they WILL] argue that it was just for PR. Okay, but that would mean Antonia accepted the comparison between Cressida, the Evening-Ruiner, and herself. Take a moment and put yourself in Antonia’s shoes. Would you accept this from your partner? (P.S. If you said yes, you have bigger problems in life than following real people’s relationships.) We know Antonia accepted this role to some extent because we have evidence she attended events with Luke over the summer. So, what the fuck?

In my opinion, Luke’s IG story is a defining moment in the Lukola narrative, but one that was overlooked in June and one that continues to be overlooked – and ignored – now.

Luke’s character is telling Nicola’s character he won’t let another woman ruin their evening.

Let me repeat that again for you: Luke’s character is telling Nicola’s character he won’t let another woman ruin their evening.

Now wrap your head around that.

#lukola #nicola coughlan #luke newton #my opinion #my thoughts #sincerely ignorant #conscientiously stupid #fact finder #speculation only

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skeletonh0e · 4 months ago

Note

Would love to have some headncanons about the bois falling in love with the reader that doesn't love them back 😶

Were craving some angst lately, so i hope you're ok with writing something like this.

Oooooh boy, sad boy hours be upon us but I had fun with this one!

Tw for toxicity & yandere-ish behavior for the bad sans gang, we all knew it was coming. Those four do not cope with bad feelings well. Just skip over those parts if it's not your cuppa

The Boys & Unrequited Love

Classic Sans:

Here's the thing with Sans and confessing serious feelings.....

He don't.

Listen, whenever this man catches feels he never intentionally confesses first. He waits for a confession, blurts it out accidentally or at the very least doesn't make a move unless he has reason to suspect you might actually return his feelings

And in this particular case? You never do. And it's fine. He's fine. Promise.

Okay obviously it's not a fun time realizing you've caught serious feelings for a friend who just doesn't return the sentiment, but he knows it's probably for the best anyway. He can settle for being just your friend.

Inaction is probably one of Sans' biggest flaws, so he simply doesn't bring it up and dismisses anyone who asks if he might have a thing for you. Is there a part of him telling him to shoot his shot anyway? That to at least risk it because of the off chance you return his feelings despite having no indication otherwise? Yeah but.....he still doesn't.

Besides, if you really wanted you would have asked him eventually right?

But you don't. And that's fine.

He'll be there still, hanging out and watching you go on dates with others. Happily supporting you at every moment, probably will offer to be a groomsmen at your wedding and even give a goofy toast

It'll all sting a bit but he'll get over it, he always does.

Emotional repression is strong here.

He's just waiting for his feelings to fade, which maybe they will eventually but it's not gonna be anytime soon and he's choosing to silently suffer while being there for you in an entirely platonically matter.

Above all else, he doesn't want to make things weird and doesn't want to lose you completely so he'll settle for this. No point in mourning what could have been or the fantasies he wishes to have. He focuses on what he does have.

He's sure you'll think of him fondly, he'll be happy for you, maybe even be remembered fondly as dear ole' uncle Sans if you choose to have children

This is fine

He's always here if you need him.

Underswap Sans:

Takes a bit to realize his feelings are romantic but unlike Classis he's definitely shooting his shot,

Going all out with the confession and everything, he wants to it be a spectacle!

Annnnnnnnd-

Friendzoned.

Oof

Is this how Chara felt when he took them on a date and rejected them? Yeesh. It is not good to be on the receiving end, he's gonna apologize to that kid later.

Honestly, he takes it the best out of all the Sanses here. Like,

You two can still be friends right? 👉👈

If not well, yeah sad boy hours are intensified but if you two can continue a friendship then the blow is softened a good bit

It'll still sting, things are awkward for a bit, and things are gonna be worse for the fella if you do start dating someone not long after but yeah.

He's got his feelings out and over time they will eventually fall out.

He'll continue being your best friend, supporting you, being there and hyping you up always. Similar to Classic but with his own chaotic energy to the mix and there's no sense of sadness there. At least not as much and then not at all down the line.

Sometimes, things like this just don't work out. But you two found a rhythm and dynamic that works.

He's still happy to be an important person in your life 💙

Underfell Sans:

Him? In love? Miss him with that weak shit.

Denial is always his first response to these type of feelings, however after a certain point he can't ignore them and he's put in a weird situation.

Does he say something? Would it better or worse if he doesn't? Does it matter? He'd be a shitty boyfriend, how long would it take for you to just dump his ass?

He flirts but always plays it off as a joke, the fact that you never response that positively to it never installs much hope

However....one night after a lot of booze, he stumbles into your arms and gets all gushy on you. That's when feelings are all put out in the open and while you care for his drunk ass....

You let him down gently

And then he passes out

Next day? He pretends to be too drunk to remember any of it. (He remembers everything he's dying inside)

You push the issue he's gonna deny or gas light "I was drunk off my ass and don't even remember that shit, whatever I said I was clearly too drunk to be thinking straight-" type beat

He's of course actually upset deep down but good luck getting him to admit that

Things are awkward for a bit, you two are still friends yeah because he is known for loyalty as much as anything else but you get the vibe he's just salty at you for awhile

And well....you two aren't as close as you used to be.

He'll get over it eventually, he's still there. Just not as much as he would have been before hand.

Underlust Sans:

Knee-jerk reaction is a big "Oh no-"

He does not catch romantic feelings easily, he almost prides himself on that fact and now he's done the most cliche thing by falling in love with a friend

He does not what to do either. So he does the most suspicious thing then full blown stops any flirting or cracking dirty jokes around you

....which makes everyone more suspicious

He's a master at acting in every other situation despite this one, it seems. Does everyone around you piece together that he has serious romantic feels? No, but most can tell something is up.

Including you

Once you manage to ask, he'll dodge the question until he can't. Then you get an awkward confession followed by him making it VERY clear you don't have to return his feelings and he doesn't want anything to change between you really

.....and you agree with him.

Outwardly he takes it well but later he's getting drunk and crying some messy tears, Grillby is gonna hear all about it later

He's still your friend though....at least he tries to be

He thought he could still be your friend, but it really starts to hurt after a bit and he starts seeing you less and less. Starts answering your phone calls less, starts hanging around less and you two just don't talk as much

It's a slow process as he slowly removes himself from your life, he knows it's kind of a shitty thing to do but he won't move on other wise.

He'll still be there if you need him, he'll pick you up if you're nearly black out drunk or need someone to bail you out but....you don't see him that much anymore.

Horrortale Sans:

This is.....a messy situation.

Axe is a wildcard when it comes to these emotions, all of the bad Sanses are. But the thing about him is there is no telling what might set him off. The others at least have something akin to a pattern, meanwhile anything for him is basically a shot in the dark

Probably realized he had feelings for you after awhile back but....hasn't figured out how to confess yet or even if he wants to. He doesn't know how he'd react to you turning him down

For now? He's your friend. A friend who's scaring away any potential partners....a friend who's suspiciously always there the moment your date for the evening didn't show up....a friend who's definitely not murdering anyone that comes too close....

He knows he can't do this forever, he knows you wouldn't react well to any of this but....he can't let you go either. So he's doing everything he can to keep you close but never give you reason to leave him

A part of him is still hoping your feelings will change and you'll fall in love with him if he just stays around long enough

He's an awful man he knows but he can be so good for you he just knows it

There's not really a good end to this situation, either you find out what he's been doing and end up hating him for it. Or he does finally confess and you reject him.

And when either or does happen he doesn't know whether he'll kill you or simply refuse to let you go then takes you back kicking and screaming. He doesn't like to think about either outcome.

Fresh Sans:

So here's the thing, if you aren't interested in him and don't make the first move as a result he is NOT gonna figure out he has romantic feelings for you on his own

Fresh is not the most emotionally mature guy and to be to him he's not really uh, built for this

He's a parasite. No one was ever intended to love him and he likewise wasn't intended to fall in love

He knows he likes you a lot and care deeply for you, hasn't figured out that means he's in love. And dosnt even realize he wants you as more than a friend

So....it's kind of obvious to everyone else but him

And you don't have the heart to turn him down so....you two just continue on.

There'll be the occasional moment where Fresh gets a bit too clingy or pulls some shit you'd expect from a boyfriend not just a friend, but he doesn't figure it out. Not even when you eventually get with someone else.

By the time Fresh realizes what his feelings were, you probably already have a life for yourself. Hell, you might already be dead of old age. He's far too late to do anything about it now.

And he's fine with that.

It makes him upset sure, but he's happy he was able to be a part of your life. No matter how small it was.

Killer Sans:

TOXIC BOY HOURS LETS GOOOOOO

Probably was waiting for the right moment to confess or at least find a way to make it a spectacle, he's a romantic at heart yeah.

But then you go on a date and he had take care of it

A bit of a whiplash to have your date murdered by your friend and doubly more so when said friend is dropping a dramatic love confession

You try to let him down easy but uhhhhh

Killer isn't taking a no.

He's not going to do something as extreme as say kidnap you but like he's not leaving, you're his and no one else can have you. Whether or not you want that is irrelevant

You'll change your mind eventually, but he's not letting anything ruin this.

You're either gonna have to constantly live working around this (kissing your romantic life and social life goodbye) or cut the problem at the stem by getting rid of Killer, both being easier said than done

The former means you're basically dating Killer even if you aren't actually dating, so it's a form of defeatism

The latter is gonna take some form of extreme magic or possibly killing the bastard, neither of which are easy. Especially with Killer hounding you 24/7

The real question is do you give in or fight it to the bitter end?

Doesn't matter, one night you eventually scream at him, "I DONT LOVE YOU, I CAN NEVER LOVE YOU NOW. YOU KILLED ALL CHANCE YOU HAD WITH ME! I HATE YOU!" and it renders him silent and then....he leaves. Then he doesn't come back.

You're safe....?

Dusttale Sans:

The thing about Dust is that he fucking hates himself, so yeah he doesn't even try a confession and he rests well knowing his feelings aren't returned

Who would love him?

He'll just.....be around.

Would he go as far as to kill any possible partners you may have? Possibly. But only the ones he deems to be a legit danger to you but it's kind of clear he's just looking for excuses at this point

And as much as he wants to keep being your friend....it's start to take a toll on his mental health which is already thinner than a dry pasta noodle

He's going to snap and do something drastic at some point, so he does the most logical thing

He fucking vanishes off the face of the earth and lowkey ghosts you

It's harsh but trust me, it's for the best. Dust would rather you walk away with at least a decent enough memory of him rather than you getting to see him at his absolute worst

And trust me, his worst is horrifying

Might occasionally pop in on you, i.e will randomly stalk you from a distance every blue moon but you don't really see him ever again

Nightmare Sans:

Emotions are, unfortunately, his expertise. So he knows of his feelings and is painfully aware you don't return them.

He'll be patient enough to see if anything changes, but they don't. So.....

He's at a stand still of what to do.

Does he keep up the vague very unlikely hope you will eventually fall in love with him anyway? Does he cut off this friendship entirely? Does he decide he doesn't care what you want and keeps you anyway?

All are equally likely options. The thing is sometimes extreme emotions can be mixed up together, even if you end up hating or resenting it well....if there's enough passion you could mistake it for love in a sense

That's what he's telling himself anyway

The best case scenario is you don't notice any major changes and Nightmare is just becoming more distant from you. But it can all be dismissed as him being busy with work or whatever

Worst case scenario?

You're invited to his castle, he gives a long rambling about his feelings and if you turn him down? Well-

He's not letting you leave.

Make no mistake, you will always be cared for and adored whether you want it or not. But you're not leaving.

#💀 the boys (group post)#sans x reader #underfell sans x reader #underswap sans x reader #fresh sans x reader #horrortale sans x reader #underlust sans x reader #dusttale sans x reader #killer sans x reader #nightmare sans x reader #asks #requests

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barbiecrocs · 8 months ago

Text

Macho to Mommy's Boy

Kozume Kenma

tags! mommy kink, praise, teasing, of age alcohol drinking, of age Kenma, blow job, hand job, mean Kenma, established relationship, lowkey OOC, sub Kenma, dom reader, mention of pegging, mention of marking, lowkey public sex (house party bathroom)

Sumsum - At a party buzzing with booze, he dares to ignore you—choosing pride over your peace. Little does he know, it's his peace that he was tampering with.

WC.1915

Barbies Note... Imma be so real and not even give yall an excuse as to why I haven’t been posting. Yall know I be with the bullshit sometimes so just enjoy the story.😭

Oh gosh, here we go again… Here he fucking goes again. Acting all big, bad, macho, and masculine to impress his dumbass volleyball friends once he gets some alcohol in him. For a little bit of context, you guys are at a house party right now and you ever so sweetly asked your boyfriend to leave because you were getting overstimulated. Yet, he hits you with, “Not now babe.” His voice deeper than it really is. His friends go quiet, knowing how you like to get down. The only thing that breaks the silence is the music as Kuroo turns it up a couple notches. Regardless of how awkward it is, you stand your ground, hands now on your hips with a sassy eyebrow raised. You can see him bite his lip nervously, but the alcohol that's hitting him helps keep the act up. Usually you'd pull him aside in the moment and chew his ear off with anger, but no. You have something a lot more interesting in mind this time. You were going to break him, so hard that he'll never try this shit ever again.

The conversation moves along smoothly once you leave. But to Kenma’s surprise the boys begin drilling him on how much he's changed.

“Damnnnn, Kenma. When you'd become such a beast?” Bokuto slurs, sipping on the alcohol in his cup, and gathering the attention of Tsukki, Yamaguchi, and Kuroo who sat on the couch. “I don’t know what you mean. It's always been like this.” Kenma banters, failing to stick the cocky tone to his words. In return he catches a weird look from Kuroo. His only friend that knows everything, but doesn't ever plan on busting his bubble. Tsukki chuckles, knowing he's gotta be full of shit. “Uh, yeah sure. Let's not forget about the anti-social hunchback creature you were in high school. Face glued to your 20th century Gameboy with your headphones plugged in to ignore all other sound. Trust and believe, we remember.” Tsukki gains a very subtle side eye from Kenma until the rest of the group joins in on laying it on thick. “Yeah, now that I think about it, you changed a lot after high school. Appearance-wise too. Your hair is barely bleached anymore, just the tips, and it's way longer now.” Yamaguchi adds, but before Kenma can get a word out, they begin talking about how much everyone has changed since their senior years. Reminiscing about the funny moments, volleyball games, going to eat out with their teams, and all of a sudden he notices that the attention is no longer on him.

He starts to come down from his social high and realizes how angry he might've made you and how he'll pay for it later. He lifts up from his loveseat, setting out to go find you only to be pushed back down by a strong force. He looks up at who is to blame and to his pleasure his eyes meet yours. “Oh, Y/n. Listen, I'm really sor-”

“It's too late for that now.” You scold in a heartless tone. He pinches his lips closed with his teeth, knowing how pissed you are right now. But what confuses him is why you squish in next to him with your legs over his lap and blanket delicately placed over the both of you. “You want to stay? Then we'll stay, so get comfy.”

—

Just when Kenma begins to sink down into the Lazyboy chair, he feels a hand rub his thigh. The action blasts him awake. His eyes dart over to your face in search of an emotion that might give away your intentions, but nothing.

He readjusts his legs in hopes to shake your touch, but you grip his thigh tightly to hold him still. The action is very subtle to the group, but it speaks volumes to him as he catches you in a half-assed smirk. “Stay still for mommy.” You whisper into his neck while tugging at the zipper on his pants.

—

Kenma's soft and breathy moans hit your eardrums as you stroke his cock and whisper degrading things into his ear with your head on his shoulder. Your hand moves up and down gently and delicately while rubbing his tip every time you reach the top, making his tongue roll out of his mouth. And there's a strong temptation to lean forward and take his lips with yours, but you don't want to draw attention to your actions. Even though there's a good chance no one would notice with the alcohol that's coursing through them. Hell, most of them are even knocked out with drool spilling from the corners of their mouths while the rest make drunk phone calls and texts to their designated drivers, or play games on their phones.

Turning your attention back to Kenma, you search his face for an expression only to see tears bubbling at the ends of his eyes and it's hard for you not to find the sight cute. If you were alone, you'd rip the blanket off, place his legs over the arms of the loveseat, and tease his cute little butthole until he cums all over his stomach. But sadly, that's not going to happen right now.

“Mommy faster, please.” He whines lowly, taking you out of your raunchy thoughts. To your dismay, he starts bucking into your fist and digs his heels into the carpet below for better balance and strength. “Last time I checked, that's not how you ask for things Kenken.” You whisper, folding your arms, taking your legs off his lap, and turning away from him. Unbeknownst to him, you had a fat smile on your face, excited and wondering what he might do next. And of course, his only course of action is the wrong one.

“No, mommy!” He whisper-yells, gripping your shoulder and you quickly shake him off, having to fix your face before turning back to whisper. “Well, you're just breaking all the rules, huh? You know not to touch mommy without permission.” You hop up from your shared seat and walk to the kitchen for a drink. You make sure to stay in his line of vision to tease and teach him a lesson. Just when you pick up a bottle of Vodka, a hand takes your wrist and leads you to the bathroom.

He leans you up against the bathroom door and sits his head on your shoulder. He moans into your ear, breathy and whiney just how you like it, “Mommy please, I'm sorry. I need you. I want you so bad. I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna go fucking crazy.” Fuck, he knows how to get you going. His hands are heavily placed at the sides of your waist with his knee brushing against your pussy. It makes you get wetter by the second and you bite your lip to stop a low and wispy ‘fuckkkkk’ from escaping your lips.

To get the upper hand again, you switch positions with him, pushing him up against the door while gradually sliding a hand down his chest to his clothed hard dick. An immediate whimper is pushed out his mouth and you can feel him rut against you again. “Don't you fucking dare unless you want me to stop again.” You threaten. “Or, maybe I should stop anyway. You've been a very bad boy Kenken. Giving me sass, rutting against me, and using your hands. If only there was some way to make it up to me.” Your hand unzips his pants for the second time tonight, but this is the first that you actually got on your knees. “Beg.” You say, kissing the tip of his cock and going as far as taking his balls in before you leave him hanging again.

That little taste of what's to come was all that was needed to throw him over the edge because from then on he completely breaks. “Oh my god, mommy please~ I'm really sorry for earlier, please forgive me. Please, please, please, take me into your mouth. I need it mommy. Fuck~” He begins to hiccup and the tears beading at the corners of his eyes finally stream down his face. Only then do you realize his physical state. His body is entirely reliant on the door behind him as he pants and whines. His voice comes out hoarse with constant cracks in it, and his eyes blink slowly almost as if he's not all the way here anymore. His hair sticks to his forehead and neck with sweat, tears wet his face, and his raging boner is an angry chili pepper red color with precum dripping everywhere. You finally give in to his delicious submissiveness and can't wait to see how cute he’ll look when he cums.

“Kenken, look at all that yummy precum. You want mommy to lick you clean?” He feverishly nods his head, even banging it against the door by accident a couple of times and a wimpy “pleaseee” leaves his quivering lips. You take him into your mouth once more, hollowing your cheeks to create a vacuum-like sensation to get the most of his precum into your mouth. Once you're done, you go back and forth pumping and sucking him when he finally begins to feel that growing knot of pleasure in his stomach. “Oh fuck! Mommy, your mouth feels so good around me. Don't stop.” He praises. Not only turning you on times a thousand, but taking you by surprise in how loud he gets as if you guys weren't in his friend's bathroom. ‘Well there goes all my efforts of being discreet.’ You think to yourself. You'd usually tell him to pipe down, or take a second to stuff your panties in his mouth, but you think that if you stop again for even a second, he actually might die. “Mommy, I'm so close. Please let me cum. Please?” He cries out loudly, hyperventilating, hiccuping, and gasping like he just ran a marathon for the first time ever. The pleasure has him on cloud nine and in a moment of weakness, his legs give out for a split second. He leans over you while gripping the sink for balance and a mixture of tears and sweat drips off his chin and onto your forehead as you pump his cock at a break-neck speed. “Cum for me Kenma.” You say mouth open and ready to receive his seed. “Oh shit! Oh fuck! Oh my god, Y/n! I'm gonna fucking- I'm gonna- Fuck, fuck fuck!~” He moans before going completely radio silent, mouth agape, and eyes rolled back as you stroke him through his mind-numbing orgasm. “What do you say, Kenken?" You ask as he subconsciously begins sliding down the door, but you catch him and sling an arm over your shoulder. “Thank you mommy.” He says, putting together his last two brain cells to sound coherent as you help his exhausted self limp out of the bathroom.

You guys walk into the living room where the music that was once loud is lowly playing in the background. That fact only helps you confirm that everyone definitely heard what went down a few moments ago. Well, not everyone who is sound asleep, but everyone who's pretending to be to avoid any awkward confrontation. You snicker at the sight while grabbing anything you guys left on the loveseat before your bathroom fiasco and head home for the night.

#smut #kenma kozume smut #kenma smut #kozume smut #kenma kozume x reader smut #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #haikyuu smut

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mx-pokirby · 2 months ago

Text

Deltarune Weird Route & Chapter 4 Spoilers

We just woke up and suddenly having thoughts about Choices in Deltarune

None of this Chapter 1 "do our choices matter?" shit, which is still taken seriously for some reason despite being told to us at the very start of a girl's arc who's about to learn her choices seem to matter more than everyone else's.

I'm talking about the concrete choices we are forced to make. Or Not Make.

(Pictured: Picking "Berdly" makes Kris scream out the choice we just made in sudden shocked confusion)

This happens no matter how long you linger over Berdly's name for to give them time to process, as though while in the box time freezes, and Kris isn't fully aware of exactly how we make the decisions we force onto them.

Despite the UI apparently at least existing on the same plane of reality as the Soul itself. Given that in the weird route, the sudden appearance of a choice for us to make physically teleports us through a wall.

So the UI has been physically diegetic on some level all along? At least known to Kris, maybe not anyone else, due to their connection with the Soul perhaps?

That's good and all, but now we feel compelled to ask. Why can we choose things Kris doesn't want in the first place? Because I wanna point out a separation here. We don't "make" any choices in the dialogue box. And I mean that literally.

The choices are presented to us, and we pick one. Which is already concerning with the boxes being diegetic. What makes them appear in the first place? There seems to be a logic governing what's "reasonable" for us to pick VS completely random options that don't make any sense...

Well. Most of the time. I guess.

But ignoring that edge case, it's not like we can choose to respond to "Who are you going to the festival with?" by reciting the entire Bee Movie script hyper-crushed to fit into the window. We're allowed to pick people we've spent a lot of time with, or to decline.

So at the very least, again ignoring edge cases like above for my own sanity even if it weakens my argument, it seems like the options we're allowed to pick are whatever would reasonably be at the front on Kris' mind, so to speak. Even if they're options Kris would personally rule out immediately without a second thought.

So alright. "The responses we pick are basically just how anybody makes a decision on the fly, between logic & intrusive thoughts, but we overwrite Kris' will and are allowed to pick those intrusive thoughts for them against their will sometimes and there's nothing they can do about it."

Or TL;DR, the choices we get to pick are decided by Kris.

That might almost make perfect sense, explaining why we can choose to Proceed with Noelle in Ch 4, despite how unfilteredly violently Kris' hatred towards us becomes after picking it.

It seems like even the worst choice we could possibly make that they'd Hate more than anything else, as long as we're presented with an omniscient diegetic dialogue box choice, Kris can't do anything about it.

It's not like they had the power to just shut us down completely from Proceeding with Noelle if they truly deeply wan

...

Fuck.

Okay the sarcastic bit is over. What the fuck do we do with this?

I see no other possible explanation for us being presented with this literal Impossible Choice other than

A: With the voice on Kris' phone's insisting that Susie must absolutely not learn the Shelter Code, which we can extrapolate into Susie needing to be kept in the dark about Everything Plot Important (at least until the time is right),

we can infer that Susie herself is a Wild Card that's unknowingly part of The Plan™ capable of ruining things if she knew/wanted to, and making sure she stays exactly how The Plan™ needs is somehow The Most Important Fucking Thing, that it even completely eclipses Kris' willpower to protect Noelle from us.

B: IDFK some divine Gaster interference bullshit so we can't go too far outside what the Prophecy has already scripted out (at least without Noelle's direct involvement) or something.

Because otherwise idfk how else to interpret this, if it doesn't mean that Kris has technically been able to shut down our choices themself all along, ie have actual control over what choices we're even allowed to pick them, which they would necessarily have to have been creating for us the whole time.

But that's already been debunked by Kris' confused shock at us saying Berdly is our date to the festival so

I think my brain might be smoking

#deltarune #deltarune theory #deltarune spoilers #weird route #your choices don't matter #deltarune the player #susie deltarune #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune

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tojislovergirl · 6 months ago

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the apparition

synopsis: after suguru’s passing, his presence seemed to linger. you thought you were crazy for thinking he was still hanging around until he appeared in front of you.

cw: mentions of death, depression, su*cidal ideations, longing for death, spiraling of mental health, ANGST, not proofread

word count: 2.8k

a/n: please let me know if i left any warnings out and i will add them! this was inspired by the song above.

You were haunted.

Haunted by him…

It had been months since Suguru passed. Not a day had passed where you didn’t think about him. You wondered if there was anything you could have done to make him stay. You continuously racked your brain trying to find something, but you always came up empty handed. In reality, there was no way anyone could have saved him from the path he chose.

You didn’t even know why you cared so much. You hadn’t talked in years after he broke your heart by defecting from jujutsu society. But, he was the love of your life after all…maybe that’s why you could never fully let him go.

He had tried numerous times to reach out to you, but you always ignored him, knowing that no good could come from it. Yet, deep inside, you still longed to feel his touch just one more time.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Satoru asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Suguru…sometimes it feels like his presence still lingers…” you replied in a quiet voice.

“I know what you mean. Maybe he’s watching over us…whether that be a good or bad thing,” Gojo smirked softly to himself, wrapping his arm around your shoulders giving you a squeeze.

You both stood up and went your separate ways. There was still that feeling you couldn’t shake. It felt like something or someone was watching you…

That feeling remained as you tucked yourself into bed. Your eyes fluttered softly as you began to drift off to sleep.

“Y/N…” a familiar voice called out.

There’s no way…it couldn’t be. Your eyes shot open, looking around your room until your eyes fell on him.

“Suguru…” you muttered in disbelief.

“Long time no see, pretty girl,” he smiled, sitting down on the edge of your bed.

Rather than feeling frightened, a strange warmth engulfed you as you stared at him. It was undoubted Suguru. His hair fell on his shoulders just as you had remember it. His soft gaze and warm smile unchanged.

“How are you here? I don’t understand.”

He just chuckled softly like he always used to when you tell him a stupid joke. The chuckle you had been dying to hear since he left. You carefully crawled towards him still not understanding what was going on. You reached out to touch his face. He allowed his head to lean into your touch, allowing you to feel his weight against your hand.

“I have to go now, pretty,” he sighed, placing his hand on yours.

“Wait! No!” You shouted, but it was no use. He was gone just as fast as he appeared.

You still felt his face against your hand, clutching it closely to your chest. Tears began to fall uncontrollably from your eyes. Your heart felt like it had been ripped out of your chest. You still couldn’t understand what had just happened, but you were consumed by dread like you lost him all over again.

As you went about your day, you couldn’t stop thinking about your dream or whatever it was. His chuckle echoed in head, forbidding you from focusing on your work. Why did he choose to appear now? Why did he appear at all?

“Wow, you look like shit,” Shoko stated, setting a cup of coffee in front of you.

“Thanks. I couldn’t sleep last night. I had a really weird dream…at least I think it was a dream. I don’t know,” you sighed.

“You don’t know if you had a dream?” She questioned.

“It’s complicated. It felt so real.”

“What was it about?”

“Suguru.”

“That’s nothing new. You think about him all the time.”

“No, this time was different. He visited me last night. I touched him. I heard his voice. He was real, but then he just vanished,” you explained, feeling tears sting your eyes.

“Maybe lack of sleep is getting to you,” Shoko shrugged, not giving your dream much thought.

You wanted to believe her. But, you knew what you saw. Suguru was real even though there was no way to prove it to anyone else. There was just no way he wasn’t.

Later that night, you laid in bed, wondering if he would appear again. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to or not. The familiarity and warmth you felt when he was around brought you so much comfort, but nothing compared to the immense dread you felt when he left. You cursed him in your thoughts for leaving the first place. You never got to build a family with him like you had always planned.

That night you tossed and turned until you felt your bed dip behind you. A pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around you.

“You’re back,” you whisper, not yet turning to look at him.

“Of course, I am, pretty girl. I missed you,” Suguru said softly into your ear.

Your emotions balled up inside of you as tears stung your eyes. You were so angry at him but at the same time you were so happy to feel him again. But, Suguru didn’t have the right to say he missed you. He was the one who left in the first place.

“Then why did you leave?” you sniffed, finally turning on your side to face him.

He gave you sympathetic look, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. But, he didn’t say anything just yet. You could tell he was trying to find the right words. He knew he had already hurt you enough. He didn’t want to make that mistake again, but he wanted to be honest as well.

“You know, I had to, pretty girl,” he replied, “It’s just as I told Satoru. I was trying create the perfect world. I couldn’t live in a world where we had to put our lives in danger just to protect those who weren’t strong enough to protect themselves. It made me sick.”

“You know what made me sick, Suguru? The love of my life turning into a murderer. You didn’t care about just killing nonsorcerers…you killed countless of our own!” You shouted now with tears freely falling from your eyes.

This was the conversation you never got to have with him. You wanted to hear it from him about why he chose the path he did…about why he chose it over your love.

“I had to do what I had to, my love, please understand that,” he said softly.

“That’s the thing, Suguru. I will never understand why you chose that over us,” you choked out, fully sitting up now.

“I was trying to make the world a better place for us. I just wish you could have realized that.”

“Our love should’ve been enough to make you stay…We never got to start the family we always talked about. All I ever wanted was you…” you cried, breaking down completely.

Suguru quietly made his way to you, crouching down to your level. You looked at him with teary eyes, wondering why he never attempted to make things work and stay with you. He stayed silent for a moment longer before speaking.

“Your love was enough to keep me around for as long as I did. I just couldn’t stand to drag you into a mess that I created,” he said softly.

“You still dragged me into your mess, Suguru! Whether you meant to or not!” You shouted, pushing him back slightly.

“I understand that now. I am so sorry I left things the way that I did. I’m sorry that I never gave you the closure you deserved. I thought I was protecting you, but I ended up hurting you anyway,” he said now with tears flowing from his own eyes.

You couldn’t help but wipe his tears like he had done for you so many times before. As the silence settled around you, his dark purple eyes gazed into yours. A blush dusted upon your cheeks, remembering how he always used to stare lovingly at you before giving you a kiss. It seemed so silly to cling onto such a small detail, but it was one of your favorite things about him. For a moment, you lost yourself in his eyes before they drifted down to your lips. Suguru slowly leaned towards you until your lips touched. A fire erupted inside you…a fire that you thought had long been extinguished…a fire you never thought you’d feel again. You melted into the kiss, letting him take control. As Suguru deepened the kiss, you crawled into his lap never once breaking away from his lips. It was so natural the way your bodies moved together. His cold hands ran up your shirt, sending a chill down your spine. The coldness of his touch seemed to snap you back to reality.

“What’s wrong, pretty girl?” Suguru looked up at you concerned.

“We can’t do this…you aren’t real,” you whispered.

“Of course, I’m real,” he smiled at you.

“No…I’m gonna open my eyes, and you’re gonna disappear again,” you choked out.

And that’s actually what happened…you snapped your eyes open to find your room completely empty with no trace of Suguru. You pulled your knees to your chest, sobbing uncontrollably. The dread consumed you once again. The pain in your chest almost seemed too much to bare in that moment.

“Why are you never real?” You thought to yourself as you drifted off to sleep.

Over the next week, Suguru became a part of your nightly routine. You almost expected to see him every night. Each night, the same thing occurred. He would show up and give you comfort before disappearing once again. You knew what to expect, but it somehow became more painful each time he left. It was like he was draining the life from you. You could barely get out of bed because you thought that maybe if you stayed he would come back. Satoru and Shoko grew more and more concerned with your condition, but nothing they did could fill the emptiness you felt without Suguru.

“Y/N, you need to stop this,” Shoko said, sitting beside you in your bed.

“Shoko’s right. This isn’t healthy,” Satoru added.

“I don’t know how to make it stop…I’m not sure I want to,” you replied weakly.

“You haven’t left your bed in almost three days…” Shoko stated.

You could see the worry in both of their faces. They wanted to help you so badly, but they couldn’t help you if you didn’t help yourself first. You knew the longer this situation went on the more it would hurt you and them in the process. You were clinging onto someone who wasn’t real.

“As much as it hurts, you have to let him go,” Satoru said with a sad smile.

He was right, but his words were like knives piercing through your heart. It hurt to hear the truth. You couldn’t live with this delusion anymore. It was either you let him go or you die with him.

As you waited for Suguru to appear, you rehearsed what you were going to say to him in your head. You paced back and forth, wondering if this was really the right thing to do. A part of you wondered if it would be better to just go with him, then to exist in a world without him. You knew the pain of living on with nothing but his memory, and you weren’t sure you wanted to do that anymore.

“Pretty girl,” Suguru said warmly, interrupting your thoughts, “You look upset. What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you blurted out faster than your brain could comprehend.

“What do you mean?” The hurt in his eyes evident.

“This delusion or dream or whatever this is,” you replied, “It’s beginning to make me feel like I’m crazy or something. I mean I’m seeing my dead boyfriend, talking to him, touching him, kissing him. That’s insane.”

Suguru remained silent. His face was blank with no readable emotion. He just nodded his head and gestured for you to continue as if he knew what was coming.

“Suguru, I love you so much. But, I can’t bare the pain of you leaving anymore. You either have to take me with you or let me go,” you croaked out through your tears.

“You know I can’t take you with me, pretty girl. You have the rest of your life to live. I’m not going to take that away from you,” he sighed.

“What if I wanted to go with you…” you whispered.

Suguru shook his head. This hurt you, but this conversation hurt him even more. He wanted nothing more but to take you with him.He just couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. You were one of the last good people in the world in his eyes, and you were so young. He couldn’t throw away your potential for his own selfish benefit.

“It’s not your time yet, love. I’ll leave you with my memory for now,” he smiled.

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces the moment those words left his mouth. You flung your arms around him, clinging to these final moments with him. He pressed his lips against yours one last time before pulling away.

“Goodbye, pretty girl,” he said with the gentle smile he always had.

“Goodbye, Sugu,” you sniffled.

Months had gone by since you last saw Suguru. The pain got easier to manage as time went on. Shoko and Satoru supported you through the whole thing and reassured you that you had made the right choice. It was better to live without Suguru than waste your life away longing for him. It felt like a dark cloud had lifted from above you. You still thought about Suguru from time to time but not nearly as much as you used to.

You were walking back to your apartment after work. The sky was overcast, and the sound of rain hitting the sidewalk was faint. A ding rang out as a text from Satoru popped up on your phone. It was a selfie of him and Nanami with the new student they had started training. Satoru and the student were making silly faces while Nanami look as serious as ever. You giggled to yourself before hearting the image. As you looked up from your phone, you couldn’t help but notice a man walking in front of you. His long black hair was tied perfectly in a bun. The way he walked seemed eerily familiar. Even the way his hoodie drooped from his shoulder was recognizable.

“No…It couldn’t be…There is no way” you thought to yourself.

You caught a glimpse of the man’s face as he crossed the street. His eyes, nose, and mouth were undeniably Suguru’s. You couldn’t believe it. You had never seen him during the day like this. Your pace quicken as you tried to catch up with him.

“Suguru,” you shouted as you closed the distance between the two of you.

He stopped dead in his tracks almost like he was shocked that you saw him. He turned to look at you…his eyes immediately meeting yours.

“It’s really you,” you said in disbelief.

You stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand to touch him. He held your wrist gently as you placed your hand on his heart. As you studied his features, the hole in your chest reopened. All the healing you did was ripped from you as he looked into your eyes. He could see the pain in your face…he never meant for this to happen again.

“You weren’t supposed to see me, pretty girl,” he sighed.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“I still watch over you, pretty girl. I couldn’t let you go that easily,” he explained, “I just wanted to see you happy again.”

“I could be happy with you, though! Please, Suguru, just take me with you,” you begged.

He stepped away from you, allowing your hand to fall from his chest. It wasn’t an easy decision for him to make, but he needed to do what was best for you. He couldn’t allow himself to hold you back any longer.

“We will meet again someday, pretty girl,” he said softly.

“No, Sugu, please.”

“This will be the last time you’ll be seeing me for awhile. I love you, pretty girl,” he smiled before walking away slowly vanishing into thin air.

You wanted to run after him, but your feet were cemented to the ground. It wasn’t until after Suguru disappeared that you could move again. You ran in the direction he went, but it was too late. He had let you go for good this time…

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