#Someone get this to the ISS team

[gildedphoenix]

July, Moon-20th!

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[atinyjules]

Broken Melodies : Fake or True ft. Lee Jeno {ch-5}

A/n: Welcome to chapter 5! The story has been going pretty well so far! I hope it remains that way ✨

Sooo here it iss ✨

There is something wrong with the taglist I created so for now I can't do a taglist but I'll try to fix the problem as soon as I can.

The mini - masterlist for this series can be found here

Jeno's

It's been officially one week. One week of suffering. We're trying to keep the fake relationship as discreet as possible cause, well, acting all lovey dovey infront of our family and gang members is bad enough. I don't want to have to act like that in college as well. But I've got to say, both at school and at home, the environment has changed a lot. It's a lot calmer and peaceful.

"But then again...Jaemin returns to school next month." I mumbled as I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Na Jaemin, the sole reason why I have a bad reputation at school. I never met someone as annoying and insufferable as him. Sure, Eunbi is annoying as well but she's sufferable to some extent but her brother is anything but that.

I sighed and got up, running my fingers through my hair.

"How long do I have to keep faking this relationship?" I mumbled and fell to the bed again, closing my eyes.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at the hair pin that sat on my study table. Smiling slightly, I close my eyes again as the image of a certain girl floods my mind.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Eunbi's

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?" I asked as Jaemin smirked and stretched his body.

"My body is as smooth as butter. Don't worry, I'll be fine." he insisted as I sighed.

"Whatever you say douchebag." I say as he smacks the back of my head.

"Have some respect towards your brother will you?" he said making me shrug when I spotted a pretty hair clip.

"Oohh~ this is pretty, who's is it?" I asked, holding it as Jaemin looked away and focussed his eyes at the scenery from his window instead with a smile.

"Someone." He said making me nudge his shoulder with my shoulder.

"Someone huh? Is it your crush?" I asked in a teasing tone as he took the hair clip and let himself fall to his bed. He smiled and held the hair clip close to his heart.

"You could say that. Although, you might know her." he said making me plop on his bed beside him.

"What's her name??" I asked as he chuckled.

"Dong Xiaolian." he said with tenderness and adoration laced in his tone.

"Oh-she's part of the ballet team. Ay, nice choice! She's really pretty...why don't you date her?" I say as he chuckles and sits up, hand coming to pat my head.

"If I could, I would've by now." He says making me furrow my brows.

"Then why didn't you?" I ask as he just chuckles.

"I'm not really an ideal person for someone like her." he says making me scoff.

"If that's so, why don't you change?" I say as he sighs.

"It's easier said then done, now, get out. I'm going out to get some things for class next week." he said, pushing me out of his room and locking it.

Dong Xiaolian...if I'm not mistaken...Jeno always looks at her during class

I shrug and get ready to go out with Renjun and Hyuck.

"So, how is the fake dating treating you so far?" Renjun asked as I groaned. Although dad warned me not to tell anyone I couldn't help but tell the boys, they're my only friends so it wouldn't hurt to tell them. Besides, they'll never tell a soul.

"I don't know. I mean he's doing his part well but as soon as the people disappear it's back to same old mean Jeno." I say as Hyuck nods.

"I mean he does hate relationships." Hyuck said as I sighed.

"I don't know." I say as Renjun thinks for a second.

"You're not starting to like him are you." Renjun asks making me choke on my drink.

"No! Why would I ever?!" I exclaim as Haechan smirks.

"You never knoww~" Hyuck says making me smack his arm.

"I just figured since you seem like you're enjoying it." Renjun said as I cleared my throat.

"Not him, but maybe I'm just kind of open to the idea of being in a relationship." I say as they nod.

"It does seem fun you know...to be in a relationship and being in love." Renjun said as Hyuck agreed.

"It must feel nice to be in love and be loved." he says as I nod.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Jeno's

Jaemin came back today and so far, I've been successful in avoiding him. Today just felt like a nice day and I didn't want Na Jaemin to destroy it.

"You're being secretive today."I turned to see Eunbi who had an amused expression on her face.

"What do you want?" I asked as she sighed.

"I saw some of your dad's men lurking around the school so I just came to alert you." she said in a bored tone as I saw a figure from the back of my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she sat down on the grass next to me.

"Is it a crime to sit with my...boyfriend?" she says as I try not to cringe.

"No...come here." I say and wrap my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me.

We just silently stay in that position until the coast is clear. Eunbi looks around only to jolt and get up.

"Jaem!" she exclaimed making me widen my eyes as I quickly turned around to see Jaemin glaring at me. I get up only to be shoved to the ground by Jaemin.

"Jaem! Stop!" Eunbi exclaimed while trying to pull her brother away from my frame.

"The fuck are you doing to my sister?!" Jaemin exclaimed, punching me as I groaned and tried to get him off.

"What else?! Spending time with her!" I exclaimed and pushed him away from me as I got up and stood next to Eunbi.

"Yahh! Stop this! We're seeing each other!" Eunbi exclaimed and stood in front of me as Jaemin froze and looked at her in disbelief.

"You're what?" he asked as she walked towards him and stood infront of her brother.

"You deaf? He's my boyfriend." she said making Jaemin laugh.

"He's trying to fool you. He always plays around with girls feelings, treats them like his toys!" Jaemin exclaimed making me pull Eunbi behind me and face Jaemin.

"Well, not her. I'm seeing your sister and if you have a problem why don't you fucking try me?" I said in a low tone, eyes burning into his.

Ooh, finally some drama😩

That's it for this chapter ✨

I hope you liked it 💖✨

You can find Chapter 6 here

Likes and rebloggs are appreciated 💖✨

[cruel-kaya]

*Ahm Ahm* mic check mic check 123...123

(intro music plays)

Sooo guys jiska aap sab ko tha besabri se intezar (nahi tha meko pata hai) Tea with Tamanna aa gaya hai Tumblr pai again aap sabko entertain (pakane ) ke liye! 😋

Or aaj ki humari Hostage *ahm ahm* I mean I mean humari guest hai .........

Meri pyaari Big sis, Rasmalai , Chudail, Tumblr ki personal sasti Anya, Hum sab ki laadli Kayaaaaaaa ! (Makes her sit on couch) 🤝

Okay so yk Main aapse kuch questions phuchungi and you have to answer that as whole Tumblr wants to know 😋(nahi sirf meko Janna hai)

Soooo here are your questions ✨

1} I want you to Introduce yourself but the twist is use fictional characters to show your character traits.

2} Aapki itni achi poetries likhne ka raaz kya hai?

3} Why do you associate yourself with moon? Or kya iss chand ko uska chakor mil gaya ?

4} Abhi aapko kayi saare flirty anons aa rahe hai unhe send karne wale insaan ko aap kya message dena chahoge?

5} Your Motto of life?

6} If you have to make a family out of your mutuals who would play role of which rishtedaar ?

And last but not the least I loved your presence here! Sending dher saara pyaar, jhappi , chai and ice creams 🍨

*Okie so is my face looking okay and the kajal is it fine???* *asks the team* Okie ig

*Faces Camera*

Namaste Tumblr wasi...

*Faces Tammu ji*

Namaste Tamanna ji

Thank you so much Tammu ji for cordially taking me in as your hostage uhmm I mean guest yeah as your guest....

Thank you for this lovely sa title Tumblr ki sasti anya must I say it's quite poetic...

And I don't care for anyone I am answering these questions for my chhoti behna tammu aka pishachini aka jalebiiii

Quite difficult but people say I am like Anjali from Kkkg or Geet from jab we met... I am a very talkative person , I am bubbly af and people associate me with golden retriever energy , I have been named as a literal ball of sunshine so yeah I am Geet ig but my character traits are much like Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice....

Dekhiye itna accha to nahi likhti , jo mann karta hai likh deti hu , I have people in life who acts as my inspiration so I write for them , my lover is a muse to me , whatever I write , I write for him or generally I write for people I love cause writing is sort of a love language for me...(Slightly emotional)

i associate myself with moon cause why be someone's sun when you can light up their life in the darkest hour... Being a moon to someone is the most intimate thing a person can do aur fir mai to ek kaviyitri aur lekhika hu... I tend to Romanticize little things... Aur iss Chand ko abhi tak uska chakor nahi mila hai (with a sulking face)

The person who is sending me these flirty anons truly I am flattered , you have read my blog well and that's visible from your asks but ye sab anon ban kar kaise karoge , you need to come to me then we'll decide *wink wink*

My motto of life is Vivamus Moriendum est i.e live and let live , also to be the change which I want to see in the world , spreading kindness , love and happiness wherever I go....

Each one of my mutual is a family to me but the ones who'll get special shout out are - @btw-its-tamanna is my jaan aka sissy , @paapi is my bestest friend , @hectorfrombritain @bandarrrrr @shyam-kariya are my Big brothers , @chillwithhana is my mumma aka big sissy....

Thank you for helding me hostage oh I mean for having me in your show , I truly enjoyed my time answering your wonderful questions

I would look forward for yet another invite

Shukriya dhanyawad

*looks at camera*

Thank you Tumblr waasi aap sabhi haste rahe muskuraate rahe , buh-bye lots of love to y'all....

[padfootagain]

Masterlist - Requests are still open! - The Tag list is open!

Hello everyone! Here is my posting schedule for the coming weeks! We're keeping the same rhythm with a new post every two days.

I've planned out over a longer period than usual because I'll start working again during that time, and I will have less time to write. So, I've written a lot these past two weeks to have more time to write for the next phase of updates!

We have TWO new series coming up! One for the Darkling, and one for Sirius Black... I'm also picking up Pirates! again for Caspian! I'm very excited, and I hope you enjoy these stories!

20/06/2023 - Old Crush

Ben Barnes x reader, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, one-shot, requested by an anon.

Summary: Ben didn’t know that you were a fan of his already before you started dating, and when he finds out, he doesn’t like it at all. All his insecurities are suddenly brought back to life…

22/06/2023 - Chapter 1 for The Last Ones on Earth

The Darkling x reader, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions and depiction of warfare and violence, new series

Summary: You and the Darkling are a team, even if no one knows it. Beyond being a team, you are the only one he trusts, and he's the only one you care about, and you're each other's true love. But if you've kept your secrets hidden for a long time, now that the Sun Summoner is fighting against you, it's time to reveal who you are, and what you are capable of...

24/06/2023 - How to Make Sport Fun

Ben Barnes x reader, tooth-rotting fluff, domestic love, lots of teasing, one-shot, requested by @thenerdysimp

Summary: You hate working out. Ben hates working out. Lucky for the two of you, like most things in life, it’s more fun when you do it with someone you love.

26/06/2023 - Chapter 3 for You and the King

Caspian x reader, fluff, angst, Sequel to The King and You, on-going series

Summary: After meeting Caspian in your own world, you decide to follow him to Narnia, your love for him too strong for you to keep your old life. But as you discover the magic of Narnia, you soon realise that this extraordinary world is as dangerous as it is magnificent. Will your love for Caspian be enough to defeat your new enemies?

28/06/2023 - All Too Well

Sirius Black x reader, hurt/comfort, one-shot, written from a prompt by @reg-arcturus-black

Summary: Sirius is going through a rough day, as what he has lived with his parents comes back to haunt him. Luckily, you’re here for him. You always are, despite knowing everything about him.

30/06/2023 - Pride!

Ben Barnes x reader, tooth-rotting fluff, silly but adorable, just to close Pride month in a cute way, one-shot

Summary: You ask Ben to come with you to Pride, and he’s more than happy to show he’s a proud boyfriend.

02/07/2023 - Chapter 9 for Something Good

Ben Barnes x Reader, Professor AU!, angst, fluff, slow-burn, enemies to lovers, on-going series

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already iss. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

04/07/2023 - Chapter 4 for Isle of Dogs

Wolfstar, fluff, angst, slow-burn, modern AU, bookshop owner x tattoo artist AU, on-going series

Summary: Sirius and Remus have been kind of in love for a while, but are both too scared to confess their feelings. However, everything changes when their neighbourhood is threatened by a new real estate project. But if they might fail in their fight against the City, they could also find something sweeter along the way.

06/07/2023 - Chapter 4 for Pirates!

Caspian x Pirate!reader, angst, fluff, adventure, mentions and depiction of violence, on-going series

Summary: As ships disappear across the sea, Caspian is forced to go investigate himself. But to win against the wild uncharted waters he must cross to reach his people, he needs to bargain with pirates. And then, he finds you…

08/07/2023 - Pet Names

Ben Barnes x reader, fluff, domestic fluff, extreme adorableness, one-shot, requested by @thenerdysimp

Summary: You find this popular prank on Tik Tok and decide to try it on Ben. But when you call him by his full name instead of your usual adorable pet names, he panics more than anticipated, and it kind of backfires.

10/07/2023 - Part 1 for Where We Kept Out Magic

Sirius Black x Muggle!Reader, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, unbearable cuteness, new series

Summary: You and Sirius meet when you’re still young, and yet you fall head-over-heels for each other. But everything gets complicated when you learn that Sirius is a Wizard! Now, your whole world has to be reimagined. - This series is made of many independent snippets taken from Sirius and Muggle!Reader’s lovestory

12/07/2023 - Love on Tape

Ben Barnes x reader, fluff, too much sweetness, a menace for sure, the-one-for-which-I-bothered-you-all-with-the-11:11-release, one-shot, requested by @simpforhotties

Summary: Ben is working on his music video for 11:11, and he asks you to be a part of it. But not simply as a make-up artist, no, he wants to use this opportunity to announce your engagement, in a subtle way.

14/07/2023 - Chapter 5 for Because We Are Made of Dreams

Sirius Black x Original Female Character + Jily, rewriting of my first fic ever (because my English was terrible then and I wasn't very good at telling stories...), Slow Burn, Mature (graphic depiction of violence, mention of child abuse, graphic depiction of torture, mature themes), on-going series

Summary: The Marauders come back to Hogwarts to begin their sixth year there, and many things will change for them during these coming months. Outside the safety of their school, the world is growing darker. Inside the Castle, they’ll find both new friends and enemies.

[timetravell]

Twas the first day of school, here is a little recap:

We mainly went over all the new procedures. Theres one about phones and if they have to take it up 4 times in a row you have to pay a fine of 15 dollars. And the dress code regressed?? No teacher is enforcing it though. We still have the same tardy policy (10 tardies = ISS).

If this phone policy doesn't 'work' then we just- wont be allowed to bring our phones at all Which is a HUGE safety concern.

below is a recap of all my class periods <3

1st period: Colorguard

Nothing much happened here, again a lot of today was just a repeat of all procedures. There were a few band specific things, such as attendance, rehearsals, UDB, and stuff pertaining to the band hall itself. There is now a form so if need be, your istrument can be turned into the shop to get fixed!

We also cleaned out the guard locker room/area. All of the costumes from last year got put in one of the lower lockers. We somehow found stuff from seniors who left YEARS ago. And 3 year old water....in a jug still.. yikes.

2nd: Forensics!!!

Im actually so happy I got to be in this class. Im looking forward to a lot of things in it. Especially the labs and that one lecture about blood splatters. Our teacher is actually absent this first week, but thats because he's also the volleyball coach. (Our volleyball team is in Hawaii for nationals I believe)

We had three assignments. One of them was designing a locker (mine is super cute, it has a Marina poster), the second was a Syllabus scavenger hunt which isn't due until tomorrow but I wanted to get a jump on it so I finished it at home. The third was homework, which was just a student survey.

3rd: ELA

It was just, again, more policy updates and a little get to know you card. This class, thank god, wont be all on computer. We'll have some paper assignments. We haven't gotten our reading yet (which upsets me a teeny bit, but I'm sure we'll learn about it later in the week)

4th: AP World History

I'm actually so exited for this class its not even funny. I was genuinley upset when we didnt get our unit 0 packets and when I found out we werent getting our textbooks until Friday.

We did learn that the AP teachers are no longer allowed to split that 70% weighted major assignments to 40/30. Which absolutely sucks, and on top of that our first unit is stuff our state says we NEED to know to get said World History credit. Which means we wont even be tested on it come spring. Our district hates us.

I actually have a good teacher for this AP class, last year I had a very (idk how else to put it) 'White privlidged' teacher. AND AND I narrowly missed being stuck in a class with someone I despise. Made me so happy!

I also learned that 'The History of the Entire World I guess' is pretty accurate! So I can use that as a study resource for like- a short summary.

5th: Astronomy

SO SO SO excited for this class. And there is no math! None! (If they added math it would have to become an AP class). My teacher is so funny unironicly. He's very monotone and you would think he'd be a bore, but he's actually really funny in my opinion.

We actually will talk about why Astrology isnt real which I think will be really fun. I dont nessicarily believe astrology is real, I like the idea of it. But going indepts on why it isnt is going to be really interesting!

We also will get to learn how galaxies and solar systems form, which will be really helpfull for making my story, Abyss. Theres also gonna be night labs!! (if we go we get a free 100 on a test grade) And maybe some Day Labs if the school can get their hands on a solar telescope.

6th: Geometry

It's geometry. There wasnt really anything of note here. Just the fact that i somehow have a class full of kids who dont care abt the Highschool grades. (I have confirmed this, it isnt speculation) It's gonna be a loud period..

7th: Band (they split it up weird)

Again nothing of note. EXCEPT NOW I HAVE TO LEARN THE SHOW?? ON MY FLUTE?? WHAT??

Im in guard, i dont do 'band' until concert season. I cant work on my solo during this period OR my homework. Pissed me of factually because the original plan was as followed:

Used as a study hall

Practice choreography

Practice flute

But nope! They hate me! /j

8th: Musical Theatre!

So many new people! Its gonna be so much fun! I have a lot of friends in that class so im really excited!

I already know the song im gonna do for our first solo, just gotta get permission cuz its technicly not from a musical (Wont say im in love from hercules)

Anyways thats it!! Tmmr will most likely have some more stuff so follow if you want to see!

[darlingtontoday]

✨New✨ Arhi FF: Iss Darr Ko Kya Naam Doon

Summary:

Khushi is an internet famous 27 year old fashion designer from Lucknow. She has a chirpy and childish demeanor yet could not be more mature, brave and compassionate. She is the apple of her father's eye, loves Salman ji, cricket, keeping track of star signs and making jalebis is toh her therapy! She is desperate to expand her business outside the social media and start her own label in fashion. Willing to work hard, armed with her ever sharp wit and an optimistic twinkle in her eye, she is on a serious look out for a big-break opportunity to establish herself in the tough world of fashion business. And this could not happen in the most bizarre manner as she literally falls into it. Who knew ending up at the wrong place, at the wrong time would IN FACT turn out to be the opposite - right place, right time and right....person?

The fashion industry however is dominated by the King of Indian Fashion: Arnav Singh Raizada, popularly known for his bridal and ethnic wear. All of the who's and who of the fashion world in India looks up to the Raizada for its exquisite traditional indian wear. Everyone wants a "Raizada" wedding lehenga for their wedding or anything with the "Raizada" label on it. And now, as the brand gears up to expand globally, Arnav Singh Raizada aka ASR is now on a spree for assembling a team to get this transition right and is looking for someone that would make this re-positioning as a global venture a resounding success. But "life" does not stop happening because you have an obviously important international expansion to make, does it? 

On his trip for a pivotal fashion show (among other things) to Lucknow, a woman practically hijacks his runway and unironically stumbles right into his arms! The design she is wearing comes to be the most celebrated look of the show. It is not a Raizada design but no one has figured it out. This irks him to no end for reasons he isn't able fully understand even though the event is a huge success. Arnav has a legacy of being the best in his business. And being the control freak that he his, he has to ensure that this Lucknowi designer does not get snatched up by his competitors who are always clawing at his throat to get ahead of him. He is known as the King of Indian Fashion for a reason after all!

Read on to find out what happens when Arnav drags Khushi to Delhi to work for him and these two crazies struggle to overcome some critical personal and creative differences while working together. Will this choice be the worst decision of their lives? Will it be the beginning of their doom or the start of something new?

Author’s Note:

Iss Darr Ko Kya Naam Doon is a combination of "fix-it" and "canon-based" fanfiction of an Indian TV show from 2011 called Iss Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doon which is about lead protagonists Khushi played by Sanaya Irani and Arnav played by Barun Sobti.

It is an old-fashioned romance style in a progressive setting. The story takes place in 2023 of Lucknow and Delhi. The language used here is a mixture of English and Roman English. The essence of all the charachters remains same except for a few changes made to make them more progressive and relatable. Khushi and Payal are educated and modern individuals who were brought up in a traditional middle-class environment. Nani belongs to an old Rajasthani royalty that no longer exists and Arnav has immediate paternal roots in an old Nawaabi family from Lucknow. Arnav and Khushi's encounters will be less toxic and more filled with fun near hostilic yet healthy romantic tension as compared to the show and Shyam's charachter will not be a villian. Basically my vision is to retain all the essential canon events from the show and adding more compelling and favourable twists & turns to the story. Sort of like a remake but make it way less toxic, way more wholesome, way more sexy/romantic, more progressive and a more nuanced charachter growth. Bit of a 2.0 version of the original show, in some ways.

Anyone who hasn't watched the show won't have any problem following the plot/significance of the canon events and will be bound to fall in love with the crazy enemies to lovers chemistry that us fans of the show know and LOVE about Arnav and Khushi's romance. Hope yall have as good a time reading it as I know I will have writing it. Enjoy:)

Genre:

Drama | Romance | Comedy | Wholesome | Family Drama | Friendship | Social Issues

Tropes:

Enemies to lovers | Slow burn | Canon-based | He falls first | Office romance | Forced proximity | Grumpy MMC and sunshine FMC | Meaningful romantic encounters |  Fix-it canon events | Fake Marriage/Marriage of Convenience (TBD)

Trigger Warning: (Light-Medium Level)

Childhood Trauma | Suicide | Depression

The Vibe is:

Immersive | Dramatic | Wholesome | Romantic Tension | Office Drama/Romance

Disclaimer: This is a fan fiction, meaning that all events and occurrences in this book are all fictional and all are part of my imagination. Any resemblance to actual life events and people, living or dead, are all purely coincidence.

I do not own the charachters Khushi Kumari Gupta, Arnav Singh Raizada or any of the related characters. The Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon series was produced by Gul Khan and is owned by 4 Lions Production. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original story belongs to 4 Lions.

The story however is mine. All Rights Reserved. Please do not steal my work or copy it. If you use any of my content for your own work, please credit me. I did not work hard on coming up with a storyline and taking my time to write my thoughts out in order for someone else to take credit for it. Please be respectful of me and my work. Thank you very much.

Follow on Instagram for Chapter Upload Updates:

@issdarrkokyanaamdoon

[gfitzwillsebastianz3rd]

Valentine’s Day with Adrian Raines

Ash doesn’t really understand why you wouldn’t just show someone that you love them every day, but he loves showing Adrian he loves him more than anything.

But what do you get the guy who has everything, including the capital, to get it?

Adrian stretches out in the bed, expecting to cuddle Ash closer, but finding himself grabbing for empty bedsheet though the spot is still warm.

“Mmnnng.” He complains.

It’s been just over a year and a half since the Vampire war, and they have Mr Diago Mendoza on his security team to help and take Cain to Nursery. Sometimes, he’ll be a Male Nanny if they need him to, and according to Adrian’s Dossier, he has practically grown kids of his own.

Right now, though, if Adrian concentrates, he can hear Ash congratulating their son on using his training potty just in time.

You said you had to go Pee-pee, and you went in the potty. Papa and I knew you could."

"Yeah, I did!"

Now, let’s wash our hands and surprise Papa, shall we?”

He smiles and pretends to still be asleep.

It's not long before a pair of not-so-steady feet approach.

"Pa? Pa-pah, wake up pwease... Iss weady!"

He grins, opening his eyes to see a sticky-faced toddler with chocolate on his face, flour in his curls, and on his clothes.

"Oh? Morning, my little Bat Pup. What have you been doing?"

Cain just giggles and tugs his hand, making him follow.

Ash has made chocolate cake.

It's the one that he'd made him the day that he'd come back from the dead and turned into a Vampire, but it's decorated with Rose petals and is much more... rustic.

The tell-tell signs of handmade efforts and love are all over their kitchen, in the sink, the countertops and all over their son's face and hair.

Ash smiles at him, wearing an apron that says kiss the cook. "Joyeuse Saint Valentin, my Husband."

"Thank you, my loves..."

Adrian couldn't have wanted anything more than the love he already has for his Son and Husband.

[crystalelemental]

With the introduction of Ice Zone this month, we have officially done it.  All major types have a Zone.  Except for Normal.  Brace for anniversary, that's all I'm saying.  But with each type now having a Zone, and the introduction of these newfangled rebuffs...how are the types doing?

See, when I started playing, it was pretty well accepted that Fire, Water, and Psychic ruled the meta.   Electric wasn't too far behind, but didn't have the same powerhouses behind it.  As someone on Reddit so eloquently put it back when Second Anniversary pairs were being dunked on: "They don't feel underwhelming because they're bad, they feel underwhelming because they don't abuse field effects.  Every top meta threat has focused on application or abuse of field effects.  It shouldn't be a surprise that these new pairs don't feel as overwhelming when there's nothing to take advantage of." But now, that discrepancy is (mostly) over.  And are those types still top dogs?  Today, I will be going over the types, and how I feel they perform in the current meta.  This will include F2P tools, highest potential, and what I think is missing from the archetype.

18) Poison I mean...is anyone surprised?  The entire type lives and dies by the question "Did you pull Emma?"  Roxie getting an EX at least raises some hope, but I'll be honest, I don't anticipate much.  Their F2P pairs are really bad at damage, and even premium options tend to be a rough time. Their Zone setter, H!Iris, is by far the worst of the bunch, having virtually no utility unless 3/5, where she gets a really crappy debuff rate on a shit-tier move.  Poison is just depressing to think about.

17) Bug Though man, Bug is not far behind.  Here's a fun question: did you pull SC Emmet or SS Hilbert?  No?  Good luck with life, then.  Even Alder feels like a genuine struggle by comparison.  And to be frank, I don't consider SC Emmet that good either.  He's a clean sweep in CS, but in Gauntlet, I think I wind up benching him most times, even with long streaks.  The F2P crowd seems good, but Bugsy and Noland both come with a ton of issues, including "Oops I couldn't quite take out center on second sync, my bad!"  The general pool is also loaded with some of the worst.  Guzma sucks, Burgh isn't great, Lusamine's stupid frail. And of course, SC Ingo is a really bad Zone setter, focused entirely on physical and not doing much else for the team.  It has oddly solid supports in Aaron and Lodge Dawn, but like...Bug is not doing well. 

16) Normal Now to make the sincere argument that Normal, a type who lacks Zone and can never deal the same damage as any other type due to supereffective modifiers. Yet I stand by it.  Normal gets great utility.  SC Steven is absurd.  C!Red's SEUN application was downright unique before Jasmine sniped it from him.  Even among the commons, you get a lot of nice effects for checking Gauntlet gimmicks, ensuring they often get used.  That's more than I can say about Poison and Bug, frankly.  It's not a good position, but I think Normal as a type at least offers better value than the last two, thanks to its range of effects.

15) Flying Flying is so weird to me.  On the one hand, you have Lysandre, who is legitimately great after his expansion, and Kahili, who is one of the best F2P sync pairs for damage, backed by Skyla, one of the best F2P walls.  But on the other.  Anni Steven is the worst Master Fair.  All of the type's options tend to be weirdo gimmicks like P!Elesa.  Nate is there.  Flying has some of the lowest lows the game offers, and just a few standout performers.  Even its top competition often doesn't feel that exceptional.  Like I know intuitively that SS Ethan is strong, but he never quite feels that great in CS or in Gauntlet.

14) Fairy Perhaps another contentious one, given recent additions, but Fairy sucks ass bro.  How do you have three goddamn Zone setters and not one of them helps physical?  I know Rain has similar issues, but Calem at least tries.  I think the main problem is that no one actually fixes the issues present.  Diantha, SS Wally, and Bede are the only good damage dealers, but anything else?  Get out. Valerie got a shit grid, Mina's stats let her down, Lodge Lillie is great for Stall but needs EX to function as a competent syncer.  And there's like no general pool fairies.  Even at the top, NY!Lisia doesn't have a single good Zone setting partner, holding the type back way further than it needs to be. "But Sycamore-" always takes first sync and has serious issues with survival given how many Fairy-weak stages are physical.  Despite having like a billion options to choose from, Fairy still feels like one of the worst types, which is staggering.

13) Steel On the one hand.  Palentine's Marnie is a very good partner to the majority of the Steel type.  On the other.  Gauges are atrocious on literally everyone who isn't Molayne.  Like, why are gauges so hard to work with on this type?  And Marnie being so slow is the biggest problem, it doubles down on the worst aspect of the type.  I do think Steel has some decent if limited performers in the F2P pool, and Gloria popped off but only really takes off under certain conditions.  The type isn't exactly hurting, this is a fair break from the other types I think are just bad, but Steel does not feel like it's doing particularly well.

12) Ice I am going to make the bold declaration that Ice went from the worst type, to #12 overall, solely from Irida's inclusion.  Like, if it were just SS Silver, I think I'd still put this at the bottom.  But the Zone setter for this type went so hard that she's pulling Lorelei to off-type clears.  That is, to put it bluntly, insane.  The type went ballistic with Irida's presence.  But as we're soon to find out, it takes more than one good sync pair to save a type, and when Irida isn't in play, oh my god does this type suck.   It's the only weather to not have a competent support.  All of your damage dealers are bad.  Ghetsis has serious claim to the title of "Worst Legendary Pair," with people like me being entirely serious about Candice seeming better.  The type was in complete shambles, and Irida alone does not make it good.  Moreover, she helps the worst in the type, not the best, so Ice tends to not feel like a standout performer.

11) Ground Ground is blessed with Courtney, a general pool pair with Zone access.  This is unheard of.  She's literally the only one in the general pool with this effect. That's how bad Ground was.  But time has been good to the type, and has resulted in them getting much needed improvement.  SS Giovanni was a CS killer, Cynthia's expansions popped off, Maxie remains relevant, and Bertha and Courtney offered legitimately good general pool ground-type damage.  These are the traits that put it above Ice.   The trait that holds it back is that your F2P pairs are garbage.   Naomi's good, but she's limited F2P, so that's not counted. Hapu and Clay were like the only Ground types most players had in my day, and are still the only really accessible options.  And they are trash.  They are absolute trash.  Even with advances in the meta, they fail constantly.  Ground succeeds by virtue of being less pigeonholed into a single option to make the type function, but it's definitely not good.  I think it just needs a seriously good Lodge Striker in the type, and we'll call Ground much better.

10) Rock Rock is like Ice, if Ice had some competent independent performers.  The type lives and dies now by the good graces of SS Diantha, who is the only way to salvage SS Brock, Grant, and Kukui.  Again, you can't rely on one option, but thankfully it wasn't.  Olivia was a great CS striker with her absurd sync, and the triple premium options of C!Blue, Emmet, and SC Hilda carried well enough to work.  Rock wasn't as down and out as Ice was at its lowest point.  But it's also never really risen to fame.  There's not a great Rock-type solution.  Emmet relies entirely on Sandstorm, Blue is the awkward physical sync/special DPS, and SC Hilda's technically weaker than both but more consistent, if reliant on setup support for attack and speed.  They have options but nothing exceptional yet. Roxanne alt when?

9) Dragon Dragon has some of the better damage dealers in the game, so why am I being mean?  Because they're not that great.  Unless you are the combination of SS Brendan, Lucas, and SS Serena, Dragon is not doing so hot.   Lance's expansion was good but not Cynthia tier, and C!Iris is falling off really hard.  The bottom of the barrel picks are so bad as to be laughable (Sorry Iris and Clair, I love you but oh my god), and the free legendary pairs are awkward.  Cyrus has better Water damage than Dragon, and Zinniquaza has a lot of competing demands.  The type functions.  It does well enough, but truthfully I consider it like the exact middle of the road type.  Good enough that it's not struggling, but not so good it's standing out.

8) Fighting If Fighting succeeds at anything, it's having two exceptional Zone setters.  Fairy may have three, but they're all super limited.  Fighting is not so limited.  On the one hand, Aura Cynthia is perfect godwall that emphasizes DPS play on a type with a ton of high-DPS options.  On the other, NC Hop is fantastic debuffing potential and manual Zone, to let allies sync as needed.  These are insanely strong tools that give the type relevance.  Add to it, they have a standout performer in SC Diantha, who is so good that Cynthia not supporting her sync was considered a knock against Cynthia.  And among F2P options, Bruno is fairly competent.  But you'll note the issue.  Each side only has one competent actor to follow up.  A!Cynthia does not fully support the offensive buff needs of a pair like Brawly or Marshal.  Hop can take a different support, but he's the type of Zone setter that eclipses the significance of any possible partner, which I consider a detriment.  Why have other options if Hop is just better than all of them?  So Fighting exists in a space with some real standouts, but there are very few of them, and don't ask about the rest.

7) Ghost Oh yeah, Ghost type.  When I started, Anni Lillie was the big name.  Ghost was considered one of the worst types, just no competent damage dealers.  But when Lillie showed up, suddenly it was relevant.  And I feel like every step since has been trying to make everyone better so Lillie is worse.  Lillie had serious, notable limitations, and SS Korrina doesn't seem nearly as limited by comparison.  Fantina and Shauntal are exceptional damage dealers on a cheaper budget, and Agatha is one of the best technical supports with Sleep and tremendous gauge control.  Renegade Cynthia as their Zone setter could be better, but has a lot of beneficial tools for her type as well.  Even for support, BP Morty and Lodge Morty are some of the best F2P pairs you can grab, while SC Lillie is the most efficient Sp Atk/Crit buffer around. While there are still some pairs that really struggle, Ghost is a type significantly improved, with a lot of viable options that compete.

6) Electric Electric was the forgotten child when I started playing.  The three great types of Fire, Water, and Psychic had their field effects, and were known for crazy offensive potential because of them.  But Electric also had one, dangit!  Why weren't they as relevant?  Well, it's because N had some glaring setup and gauge issues, and Marnie was a Tech with relatively limited DPS.  Electric Terrain had no one to big up.  Nowadays, Electric has the best sync pair in the game with SST Red, and the highest DPS by miles in Ash.  So why isn't it top 5? Because its F2P game still sucks.  Marnie and N got huge improvements, but when you look outside of premium?  Elesa's fine but not exceptional.  Hau, Sophocles, Surge, and BP Surge are all atrocious.  Volkner's fairly poor as a terrain setter, Hau's Buddy move makes his terrain much worse off, and SST Red is so stupid good that partners are optional.  The lower class in this type suck and need help, and their help is not helping.  Electric is a type that, to this day, when I opt for more F2P budget runs, is the type I hate facing most.  The options outside of premium are just so bad.  It's like dying for a good Lodge striker.

5) Psychic At this point, I want to preface by saying I play a certain way, and pick favorites based on utility.  Among the Three Great Types, Psychic fell off the hardest in the damage meta.  You know it's bad when Lear, a sync pair nearly two years old, is still like the best sync nuker.  Electric decisively has stronger options.  But. Psychic's F2P and general pool game is immaculate, and while they're on longer top performers, premium pairs still put in exceptional work.  Moreover, you have the blessing of Lucian, the supreme general pool unit, Giovanni's insane power, and Mesprit as the best Master BP pair.  Psychic maintains relevance, but I feel like it's on the cusp of slipping really hard if it doesn't step up its game.  Yes, C!Bede as the best support in the game is a massive win for it, but what it's really looking for as a specific archetype is the Terrain Supporter.  It wants its SS Morty.  So far we're getting Bianca, who's fine but falling off; Anni May, who's alright but got a bad expansion; and SS Lana, who frankly just makes CS conditions more annoying by removing the option for Physical Damage Reduction 8.  I think the Terrain setters have, over time, been revealed to be really bad.  They're far more focused on damage than utility, and it's to the type's detriment.

4) Water When I started, Water was the de facto best type.  Archie ruled the meta with an iron fist, and having both Roxanne and May in his corner just made the whole situation perfect.  It's been two years since those days, and in a meta with NC Serena and SS Lysandre, why do I think Water fell from grace?   Well, a few reasons.  While Water has one of the highest potential ceilings for damage, and some really standout performers...its F2P game kinda sucks ass.  No, I'm sorry, we need to talk about this.  Unless you have EX Siebold, F2P Water is handled by Cyrus, a Dragon.  Your actual Water pairs are garbage.  Lodge Rosa and Lodge Silver are terrible at their jobs.  Lodge May struggles ridiculously to compete.  Barry has really difficult sync conditions to fulfill.  Crasher Wake needs the foe to be flinched which is a death sentence.  Water lives and dies by its premium fare, and while that includes many a busted damage dealer and one of the best supports to ever do it, their floor is quite low.   Moreover, three Rain supports, and not one of them perfectly helps SS Grimsley.  Poor dude.  Water has a lot of support behind it, so it's definitely in the upper echelon of types.  But I think time and an evolving meta has made Water less versatile.  It's all high DPS premium stuff while anything below that seems to struggle without SS Kris' presence.

3) Fire Fire, as one of the Three Great Types with Water and Psychic, succeeded based on having a field effect that was easily accessed.  Only four types did, but Fire was considered one of the best, due to the routine application of some of the dumbest DPS units available in SS Red and Leon.  Fire never let up on that particular gas, producing constant offensive powerhouses with fairly efficient self-setup.  The reason I think Fire adapted better than Water, however, is that Fire has SS Morty.  See, Fire figured something out.  Instead of raw DPS and pumping that higher, Morty offers the alternative: I've got enough firepower, what I need is survival.   And they hired someone immortal.  Fire feels more versatile than Water now, and better able to handle the nonsense that's thrown their way.  Moreover, every Fire type, barring like Flint I guess, benefits from Morty.  There are Water types that don't mesh with Kris.  But every Fire type that doesn't cap crit, handles offense well enough.  And if they don't (Leon), Eevee Lucas filled the gap.  Fire is just...consistent and efficient and flexible.  I think they got it all down pat.  But they also don't reach the same plateau that Water does.  There's no obscene damage comp like Dual Frogs + SS Lysandre.  SS May is great, but not as good as Dojo Gloria.  Water one-ups Fire's damage, but I think Fire just offers better utility.

2) Grass Grass types recently went ballistic.  SS Lyra was the first popping off.  Not only did they get Grassy Terrain to finally join the field effect meta, but Lyra's guaranteed flinch rate with easy quad queue made literally anything viable, without Lyra completely overshadowing her teammates offensively.  Grass had some odds and ends additions, including the incredibly fun SC Rosa, but largely kinda held back as a consistent but decisively okay type.  And then SS Acerola showed up, and packed the most consistent physical DPS stacking you could imagine.  And now we got Adaman, who's offering absurd damage with no gauge cost, and permanent Sun.  Grass was already doing well, but it's exploded recently.  I think it's still in a position overall where it would really like some better special support, but it's hard to find fault with Grass.  Moreover, it carries the same general benefits as Psychic, thanks to a wide array of supporting tools.  Sleep Powder Ramos, Stall Master BP Erika, Gauntlet Master base Erika, SS Leaf's shenanigans going through the roof, SC Rosa's fascinating debuff combination.  Grass just offers a lot of value, and some generally unstoppable team compositions.

1) Dark But nobody is doing it like Dark.  For a while, Dark was one of my least favorite types.  You just had like nothing good to work with.  Nanu wasn't damage, BP Karen just died, base Karen struggled like hell, Grimsley was there.  But man, things have changed.  Not for Grimsley.   He's still a mess.  But like...SS Cyrus came in as a great disruptive tool with Zone.  He didn't specifically boost damage of allies, but the AoE sleep was valuable on literally any team, making him one of the better Zone setters.  Champion Calem then came in with tremendous benefits to the physical side of the type, while offering some support to special.  Then SC Zinnia came in, perfectly complemented his needs, and packed some of the funniest broken nonsense available, including shutting down all buffs for the enemy team for a duration, and a 70% flinch rate and zero gauge cost on unbuffed foes.  And of course, NC Marnie comes in with Ash-like survival, sacrificing his absurd Buddy move DPS for more consistent damage and a 50-60% flinch rate.  Dark is riding high, and it's incredibly hard to find a flaw in the type.  Even among F2P pairs, Nanu got an insanely good grid, base Karen popped off on her expansion and it turns out my fear around BP Karen was unfounded because damn she gets a job done.  Dark currently feels like the strongest and most well-rounded team composition.  It actually leads the sync damage leaderboard, though Dark-type NC Serena.  Dark's just been on a roll lately.

[the-firebird69]

These Mack Morlock tried to attack this morning there were two main volleys in about 3 or four others and they did not hit a thing. They have other volleys ready and they are trying to prepare them now we do know where they are and we intend on getting them with their own weaponry we cannot stand their stuff they repeat things for years and they go over things to try and harm people on the air in front of people they have to leave. They get killed but they're so dumb it's like not even doing anything if they come back even then they all look the same it's a disease.

- We have them prepping for seven major volleys I wanna go in there and take their missiles all of them if we can and show them what they're wrong about. My son and daughter say it looks like we do and they try and use the military base missiles and that's actually what it looks like. And they hit themselves a little and I wanna use false flag and go after the bike I don't want them having any of these. Right now they're preparing to go up in the ISS we need to move it and we have a big plan and program and it's initialized and going fast and we need troops to volunteer for this duty if you can have someone manure station please do so & on to this immediately we need a massive number of troops still.

Thor Freya

Olympus we send on our channels too and here now additionally

We are grateful for your service youtube Hera and Zeusand we will help you and we're sending teams in now we do need more

Duke Nukem blockbuster

[piratesexmachine420]

I mean, the national team got a backup contract...

....yeah, it's not looking good for surface missions. I hold out hope that somehow in the next decade Starship gets the boot and someone competent can step in (Maybe even a SpaceX under different management? Probably not Boeing. Fucking Starliner, man.) and of course that in the long-term space privatization gets the axe. Time will tell, I guess. The chances of everything going Constellation again are... high.

As for that "Russia, China, and the much of the world" bit... ehhhhh. Technically true but IMO unrepresentative. 36 countries have signed the Artemis Accords. These countries, while few, represent the majority of active human spaceflight programs; NASA, about half of ESA, JAXA, ISRO, CSA, and a few others. The only countries with human spaceflight programs that haven't signed the accords are the aforementioned China (CNSA), Russia (Roscosmos), and the other half of ESA members (Mostly the smaller ones. 84.5% of ESA funding comes from states that have signed the Artemis Accords, 10.4% comes from states that haven't.).

Is that not enough? Do they need the signature of, I dunno, Saint Lucia?

Moreover, the accords don't have any language about commercializing space AFAIK. (If anyone is interested, you can read 'em here.) They mostly just restate the Outer Space Treaty (which, frankly, the U.S. should've ratified already) and ideas from the Space Station Intergovernmental Agreement.

Roscosmos' non-participation is both expected and IMO irrelevant. I don't really care about what Roscosmos thinks are good ideas. And the CNSA's non-participation is also pretty expected. They've been isolationist for a long time now. (Less so with their robotic programs, of course. But when it comes to humans, well, if they had wanted to join the ISS, it would've been a lot easier than building Tiangong. They chose Tiangong.)

Regardless, things aren't looking great on the short-, medium-, or long-term horizons for U.S. human spaceflight. I really hope the Axiom station falls through like Bigelow did, that Elon gets his ass kicked out of SpaceX management, that Starship is abandoned, that SNC pushes SpaceX out of their CCP monopoly, that corporations stop flying rich people's cars and ashes and whatever into the void, and that everyone suddenly wakes up a rational actor and institute socialism within the hour. I also hope that Roscosmos could just get their... everything together. (Maybe they should start flying their payloads on Long March :P) I don't expect it, though. It's the damn nineties all over again, I think.

Blargh. Only way out is through, I guess.

Did you know that NASA engineers considered the failure rate of some critical shuttle parts to be about 1 in 100 (significantly greater than what NASA upper-management considered the failure rate to be, and what was considered at all acceptable by the certification process)?

Do you know that NASA engineers currently have no idea how many rocket launches the next mission in the Artemis program (in 2 years!) is meant to involve, because the mission plan relies on SpaceX being contracted to deliver a supply of cryogenic fuel to the crewed Orion (™ Lockheed-Martin) capsule in orbit - a procedure that 1: has never been attempted before on any spacecraft, let alone the Orion™ capsule, not even in uncrewed technology demonstration flights; and 2: would require an as-of-yet unknown number of SpaceX 'Starship' launches, because said vehicle does not actually exist at time of writing?

Did you know they're planning on using this 'starship' as the crewed lander? A design for a lunar ascent vehicle, that is, that does not use hypergolic fuel, that relies on a swing-out crane as the only entry and egress point? During the original moon landings, the LEM had so many redundant methods to make sure it got astronauts off the surface of the moon, that in the most absurd, extreme case, where every single mechanism fails, there's a procedure trained into the astronauts to climb around the outside of the capsule, take a pair of bolt-cutters from the equipment box, physically cut the couplings holding the capsule to the lander stage, and take off to get home. Artemis' proposed lander, on the other hand, is planned to be a vehicle whose design didn't even include heatshields until it was realised it would obviously need heatshields, which are ceramic tiles bolted after-the-fact directly through the steel hull, because SpaceX had decided to mass-produce the original-design hull sections all at once for all the 'starships' first, before doing any integrated testing.

We're seeing the exact attitude that led to the shuttle disasters not being prevented now expressing itself in (and even through) the Artemis program, a project pushed harder and faster through the gates than it should be, by a government (and NASA administration thereby) desperate to advance the eponymous Artemis Accords (that goes unsigned by China, Russia, and much of the world) and reneg on all previous space charters that onsidered ownership, commercial exploitation, and military usage of space forbidden. Something bad is going to happen, and it's going to happen for the sake of SpaceX and the military-industrial complex at large.

[vanvelding]

Movie Trailers for January 2024

 What's coming out in January?

Night Swim - 05JAN24

So it's an evil pool. Looks like an able execution of the idea of an evil pool. It even makes the dad go crazy. It's something I've seen a million times before, but perhaps I take for granted that there's someone out there who sees the novel idea at the core of it and has only seen the shambling, recycled skeleton 500,000 times. 

The Beekeeper - 05JAN24

Speaking of things from a genre that should be called "ad infinitum," let's count the cliches.

Retired badass played by aging actor.

Innocent friend hurt my cartoon monster-people.

World-spanning conspiracy.

One-against-one-hundred odds, both individually and as the man takes on the system that can be killed by murdering one guy and destroying a single computer.

Hero is part of a secret society bad guys are afraid of, even though it lacks the institutional power to do the thing he's doing. It's basically just a discount gun store with a visually impressive lock for divorced losers to kill comically evil people (played by even more-aging actors) who represent ideas too vast to be killed with bullets.

Novel fight scenes

Novel setpieces

I guess if they're so predictable, I should start writing them. Obviously there's demand, although I'll only have a few weeks to do it since this seems like the first genre AI could start writing wholesale.

The Book of Clarence - 05JAN24

"It has everything," get said about a lot of movies. It always meant what I've seen termed as 'all of the good stuff, none of the bad stuff.' Kind of a blanket, "This movie loves you."

But The Book of Clarence looks like a movie that has everything. A clever idea. A complex main character. Biblical elements. Fistfights. It's got a lot of pistons firing and really, it could only disappoint me from here.

It's my Tragically Unwatched for January 2024.

Origin - 19JAN24

Origin is intriguing. It's got one of those classic trailers that doesn't seem to tell you everything about the movie. I can put a lot together in that it's one woman's search for the origins of racism and her determination to answer that question through experience.

I.S.S. - 19JAN24

On the other hand, I.S.S. gives you the premise--US and Russian astronauts are on the International Space Station when World War 3 breaks out. The US team is told to take the ISS and presumes the Russians are told the same thing.

Queue intrigue and death on the most dangerous building ever created by man when the obvious, overhanging solution is to work together to delay the ticking clock of the ISS as a habitable building before descending to the wasteland below.

The Concierge - 19JAN24

I've also seen this titled The Concierge at Arctic Department Store, which is about a woman who wants to excel at her job, but the problem is talking animal customers. It's anime. What do you want? I'm not the demographic for this movie. I wish I could see US movies the way I see anime films; just the matrix code of a desire to excel, some random job, and a few relatable obstacles before the inevitable catharsis and peace and love on planet Earth ending.

Founder's Day - 19JAN24

Two horror movies in January. Is that normal? Doesn't feel normal. It's honestly more threadbare than Night Swim. Night Swim has a monster and a supernatural force trying to 'get' the family in novel ways. Founder's Day is a unique mask plus a unique murder weapon. Your Jason Vorhees, your guy from Scream, your The Strangers, your Leatherface, and to a lesser extent, your Black Phone guy, your Saw guy, and your The Purge folks.

But now it's a powdered wig and a gavel. Sure. Who gives a fuck?

Mean Girls (2024) - 12JAN24

Wait, I don't think I can bottom out on fucks before I get to the remake of a comedy that I never saw, but which is part of the Trio of Well-Regarded Lady Films I haven't seen (Clueless, Legally Blonde, and Mean Girls).

But prima facie, it looks stupid and it gets my 0 Fucks Award for January 2024. Look, horror guys are gonna eat Founder's Day up unlessit's surprisingly good by being original. I couldn't imagine who Mean Girls (2024) is for. 

Miller's Girl - 26JAN24

I'm not a fan of Martin Freeman. I mildly dislike him and his characters. They always come across like pricks. I don't like all of John Krasinski's career choices, but his version of Jim in The Office worked because he had charisma. Freeman has prick energy, which played better for his version, but I can't stand the guy. He was perfectly cast as the one white guy in Black Panther.

Oh right, I was disappointed that this movie wasn't a horror movie. It's just a story about how a teacher and student have chemistry and she can ruin his life with false accusations if he doesn't say 'yes.' Yeah, that can happen, but that seems like a smaller social issue than men with power using that to get with girls/young women girls.

Or the media they look at to validate their actions and play the victim when they get found out. I'm not saying Miller's Girl will be a bad film, it's just a film that shouldn't.

Self Reliance - 03JAN24 (Hulu)

It's interesting and charming and only gives us the first act or two of the idea. The idea of the secret game where humans are hunted for sport always has, like, a thousand holes in it when the movie is about hunting a middle-class Westerner in the middle-class West, so they might as well make it a comedy.

[jcmarchi]

How to be an astronaut

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/how-to-be-an-astronaut/

How to be an astronaut

The first question a student asked Warren “Woody” Hoburg ’08 during his visit to MIT’s Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics (AeroAstro) this November was: “It seems like there’s no real way to know if being an astronaut is something you could really do. Are there any activities we can try out and see if astronaut-related things are something we might want to do?”

Hoburg’s response: There is no one path to space.

“If you look at all the classes of astronauts, there are all sorts of life paths that lead people to the astronaut corps. Do the things that are fun and exciting — work on things you’re excited to do just because it’s fulfilling in and of itself, not because of where it might lead,” he told a room full of Course 16 students.

Hoburg was the only faculty member among his peers in NASA’s Astronaut Class 22, for example. His own CV includes outdoor sports, computer science and robotics, EMT and search and rescue service, design optimization research, and flying airplanes.

In a two-day visit to the department that included a keynote lecture as well as fireside chats and Q&As with undergraduates and grad students, Hoburg shared his personal journey to becoming an astronaut, lessons and observations from his time aboard the International Space Station, and his excitement for what’s next in space exploration.

Woody Hoburg: From MIT to ISS Video: Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics

From MIT to ISS

For Hoburg, the path that led him first to MIT and eventually to the International Space Station wasn’t straightforward, or focused on a specific goal. From his aerospace studies at MIT, he was torn between going to grad school or getting a job in industry. He decided to pursue computer science in grad school, and from there wasn’t sure if he should stay in academia, join a startup, or join the U.S. Air Force. It was late in grad school when his research started going well that he decided to stick with it, and that decision brought him back to MIT in 2014 as an assistant professor leading a research group in AeroAstro.

He had more or less forgotten his childhood dream of becoming an astronaut. “Not in a bad way,” he clarifies, “just there were other things consuming my time and interest.” But then, a friend suggested they submit applications for the NASA Astronaut Candidate Program. “I remembered that when I was a kid I did think that would just be the coolest job, so I applied. I never thought I’d actually get accepted.”

Performing in an operational environment

Hoburg credits his time at MIT with nurturing a love of adventure and pursuing new ideas and passions. “Everyone here was awesome academically, that was a given. But it seemed like everyone also had a wild unique interest, and I loved that about this community.” As an undergraduate Hoburg remembers rushing through his P-sets so he could go off rock-climbing and skiing for the weekend.

The MIT Alpine Ski team was his first experience on a tight-knit, mission focused team, which has become a core part of his personal and professional ethos. Before starting grad school at the University of California at Berkeley he took a year off to be an EMT, and he spent his summers in California on the Yosemite Search and Rescue team.

“That was my first experience doing what I would call real operational stuff, getting called out on a mission to help someone, working with a high-performing team in an austere environment,” he said. “A lot of the civilians who get selected at NASA have something operational in their background, in addition to their technical expertise. I think search and rescue ultimately helped me with my astronaut application, but I don’t know of anyone who had gone that route before me. It did help me grow into a strong operator — but at the time I just wanted to be out in the mountains responding to emergencies.”

This theme of operational capacity emerged throughout Hoburg’s talks and Q&As. He noted that astronaut candidates tend to be natural team players, and the two-plus years of training prepare them to approach every situation with trust and confidence. A comfort level with versatility is critical for an astronaut: they have to fly and dock the spacecraft, operate and perform maintenance on the ISS itself, perform spacewalks, and of course get home again. All of this is in service of their primary mission aboard the ISS:

“We’re just operators up there,” says Hoburg, “we work on literally hundreds of different experiments, while the PIs are on the ground. The science work is definitely the purpose of why we’re there. That place is busy — we are working 12 hour days a lot of the time.”

Moon, Mars, and beyond

Many of the students’ questions and Hoburg’s responses were practical, perhaps unsurprisingly in a department full of aerospace engineers. His ISS wish list — free-flying robots to help with holding and carrying; robotic cameras to better document their experiments and other pursuits onboard; improved automation and manual control interfaces in launch, flight, and docking; better solutions to the challenges of stowage and organization — may be the very projects that this generation of engineers tackles.

Hoburg also shared some broader insights from his career as an astronaut so far, including his personal reflection on the famously profound experience of looking at the Earth from space:

“Earth actually looks really big from the ISS,” he said, adding that he would love to see it from the far-away perspective of the Apollo 8 lunar mission. “The overpowering feeling for me was looking at the atmosphere. When you do a spacewalk, it’s pretty in your face that you’re in a vacuum. There is just pure death all around you. And when you look at the Earth, you see how it’s protected by this very, very thin layer.”

Hoburg is enthusiastic for NASA’s upcoming return to the moon, and for the growing commercialization of low Earth orbit that’s allowing NASA to focus on “a transition period beyond low Earth orbit.” He’s keen to help with the lunar missions that will help prepare the next generations of spacefarers to get to Mars.

Above all, he’s excited about the possibilities ahead. “Looking back at the 20th century, I think the moon landing was truly one of our crowning achievements. So part of it is purely inspirational, that spirit of adventure and exploration. Putting humans farther out into space is an audacious goal, worth our time and effort.”

[atinyjules]

Opposites Attract Ft. Park Jisung - ch 4

A/n: So I will not be updating any of the new series I started. Which includes the jeno, mark and upcoming hendery series because some loathsome fool couldn't keep her words to herself.

Anyways ✨️ I am excited to update this one after quite a while.

So here it iss✨️

Lianna's

It was a Saturday so I only went to practice for our team performance since the duo and waltz performance practice were only on week days. So after our practice was over just me and Sua were heading to our usual cafe for lunch since the others already had plans and Sungchan didn't feel like coming.

After we reached our favourite cafe we sat down and ordered our usual.

"So, how's you leg?" Sua asked with concern making me smile.

"It completely healed over a month ago. Chill." I said making her slap my arm.

"But still! As a ballet dancer, your legs are the most important part of your body. Besides, even during practice Madam Cha kept reminding you to take it slow." Sua said making me nod and throw her a reassuring smile.

"She's just being precautious because the Winter Solstice Ball is a big deal and I'm taking part in it too. But don't worry, my legs are back to how it was." I said making her sigh.

"We're just worried for you. You're our star dancer after all." She teased making me groan.

"I'm not, Seeun and Yuki are." I say earning a scoff from Sua.

"You are, it's just that you came back from your break so you're still getting used to being up on your feet again. Hey...isn't that the boy from Neo? Your partner." Sua stopped mid conversation to point at someone.

"Where?" I asked as she positioned my face towards the direction she was looking at.

"The waiter serving that table." I looked closely to see Jisung.

"Oh, Jisung?" I say as she nodded.

"Yeah, what's he doing here?" Sua questioned.

"Part time maybe?" I say as she nods.

"Probably." She said and after a while the both of us sat awkwardly when we realised he was bring our orders. He must have noticed us since he tried to hide his face.

"Thank you." Me and Sua said in unison as he lightly bowed and scurried away.

"Neo didn't have practice today I suppose. Although, he'sa lot more timid then when he's with his friends." Sua said as we began to eat our food.

"He's always been shy and timid though. We went to the same institutions till we were in middle school." I said making Sua choke on her drink.

"Wait...you and Sungchan have been best friends since you were kids and went to all the same schools until he went to Neo for a bit so was Jisung part of the circle as well or?" She asked in a hushed tone making me nod.

"Yeah, Sungchan andJisung were quite close as well so they ended up going to Neo together but I don't know what happened after that. One day Sungchan just cameover and told me that he was joining Seuli." I said as Sua furrowed her brows.

"How did he join if he did hip hop?" Sua asked as I looked at her, confused.

"You don't know? He's been doing ballet since he was little because his mom wanted him to do it but he grew more interested in hip hop so he learned hip hop as well and ended up going to Neo because he liked it more than Ballet." I said as Sua nodded.

"Ohh, I did not know that. Sungchan is a great and funny person to be around and hang out with but he doesn't really tell us anything about his childhood or interests." Sua said as I nodded.

"Yeah...he wasn't like this but I know for a fact that something definitely happened in Neo. "

×××

Jisung's

"How's your waltz partner?" Hyeongjun asked me as he sat next to me on the bus while on our way to Seuli.

"I don't...I guess she's okay." I said as Hyeongjun let out a frustrated wail.

"Ask me how my partner is." He said making me chuckle.

"How's your-" before I could even finish the sentence, Hyeongjun cut me off.

"The WORST! Oh my goshhh! She is sooooo insufferable!" He complained making me laugh.

"That's bad?" I asked as he nodded and pouted.

"I can't bear her! Doesn't help that her stupid brother always has his eyes on me!" He continues blabbering.

"Sounds fun." I say in a joking manner earning a while from him.

"Jisunggg! Ya, aren't you my bro...help me! Your partner seems nice, ask her to tell herfriend to chill out!" He said making me shake my head.

"I'm not doing that, I barely even talk to her." I say as he keeps pleading me.

"Yahhh, Jisungie! Don't you love me?" I cringe at his aegyo and push him away from me.

×××

Jisung's

After changing into my practice wear I headed to the studio where all the Seuli students were already present doing some stretches.

"Morning." I turn to see Sanha who entered at thesame time as me with his water bottle.

"Morning..." I said in an unsure tone making him pat my shoulder before heading to his friends. I look around to find a certain figure but felt disappointed internally when I couldn't spot her.

"Bro, you good?" Hyeongjun asked as we walked to a corner.

"Yeah...why?" I asked as he shrugged.

"No reason. Is it just me or are the Seuli students very quiet and calm today?" He questioned making me nod as I looked around to see all of them rehearsing or in simply just in their own world.

"This is how they are in a daily so you don't need to worry." Me and Hyeongjun abruptly turn around to see the owner of the voice. A tall and slender boy with a soft visual smiled at us.

"And you are?" I asked as he widened his eyesand bowed.

"Oh! I'm sorry, my name is Park Seeun. I'm one of the dancer of Team Seuli." He said with a smile.

If I'm not mistaken, he's the one who went to France.

"I'm Hyeongjun and this is Park Jisung....I'm sorry but I never saw you." Hyeongjun said as he nodded.

"I was injured really bad last year at a show so I was resting. And after I healed and began practicing I started going on competitions again so I couldn't really attend class too regularly." He said and smiled when Hyunsuk called for him.

"Oh, I gotta go!" He said and waved before running up to his friend.

"He totally doesn't know about the rivalry." I said as Hyeongjun nodded.

After a while the teachers came and we began warm ups. I couldn't help but wonder where Lia was although all the girls of both Neo and Seuli were missing.

"Madam Choi...where are the girls..?" Sanha asked when we heard giggles from outside making Madam Choi chuckle.

"Ma'am can we come in?" Seunghee popped her head in with a smile and when given the permission all the girls entered the studio wearing long tulle skirts making all the boys watch them in awe.

"How do I look?" I saw Lia twirl around infront of Seeun and Sungchan who who clapped.

"So pretty!" Seeun chirped earning a look of approval from Sungchan.

"It suits you." He said making her smile and wave bye at them before making her way to me.

"Good Morning Jisung." She said in a sweet way as she stood next to me.

"Morning..." I could only mutter as Madam Choi clapped to get our attention.

"Okay now, settle down. In order to really get into character the girls were giving light tulle skirts so that they can get used to dancing in a long dress." She said after which we began classes.

"Are you just gonna pretend like you don't know me?" I was taken aback when Lia suddenly spoke up while we practiced.

"W-What?" I stuttered making her sigh.

"I get that the last time we met was in middle school but can you not treat me like a complete stranger? Makes me feel like an idiot." She said, the last bit coming out in a whisper.

"I...I'm sorry...I just thought that you wouldn't want to talk to me." I said making her pinch me after the music stopped.

"Ow..." I muttered.

"Of course I want to talk to you! We literally used to have lunch and play together." She said making my face go red.

"Oh.."

"So does that mean we can be friends again?" She asked as I smiled softly.

"Sure."

Chapter 5

That's it for this chapter!

I hope you liked it ♥️✨️

Likes and rebloggs are appreciated ♥️✨️

[another-random-object-show]

ANOTHER RANDOM OBJECT SHOW

EPISODE 5 — Who Shot Who?



"like, what’s that prism doing?” Heart asked Star. “It looks like she's cross-teaming, PENTA! Report?” Star asked Penta. “She’s planning a Merge with Mime.” Penta informed Star. “Sigh, why do we do this?” House said. “BECAUSE I’M THE LEADER! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME!” Star yelled at House. “Jeez… alright.” House said.

“plus, if you don't like, listen to us, then you simply HAVE to get out. I mean, it’d JUST be you and Triangula voting against us if you tried, so, what's the point?” Heart said, now sipping on a Macchiato. “Exactly. Darling, how about we get out onto the field?” Star puts away his binoculars and looks over at Heart. “Good idea!” Heart says, now holding Star’s hand and walking out from the bushes as Penta then goes invisible to continue being a spy.

GyroGyro was calmly dancing with Exclamation Mark, Period looked at the two and said— “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! >:(“ Exclamation Mark yelped at the interruption before GyroGyro began to try and explain, only for the wind to howl through him. “Ohh…” Cloudy said, nodding at GyroGyro, resulting in him allowing more air to pass through as he talked to Cloudy. “You understand him..?” Period looked up at Cloudy. “Ofcourse I do! How do you think I’m able to move around in the skies? The wind helps me!” Cloud explained. Exclamation Mark asked— “What is he saying…?” Cloudy answered: “He says he was teaching Exclamation Mark an ancient Japanese Dance!” Hangman then popped out from Cloudy, his rope extending to say— “I can confirm he said that— something interesting about being able to fit inside Cloudy is the fact that I, too, can understand the wind. Something I’ve been hearing are small conversations between The Gourd and someone else?” Hangman sighed. “Either way, apparently that dance is ancestral.” Hangman noted as Cloudy said “Yep.” to agree. “D-does it do anything…?!” Exclamation Mark seemed horrified now, only for GyroGyro to howl once more and for Cloudy to answer: “No. It’s a Japanese Dance that symbolizes the expression of Tranquility.” She blinked. “..oh.” Exclamation Mark sighed.

Simultaneously, Question Mark approached Comedy, Tragedy and Phantom then asked: “So, what are you three?” Phantom seemed surprised and said— “Oh, well, we’re all porcelain masks!” Question Mark thought, then said “What happened to your right half?” Phantom then seemed surprised about the question, but before he could answer, Lunartic was yelling again. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS!” He hissed. “Get out of my way.” Moony said, holding Sunny’s Hand. “You can't STOP me from letting him meet HER.” Moony scowled. “MOOONY! C’mon! Think about it! He doesn't NEED or WANT her! He has US! Right, buddy?” Lunartic shakily said. “Yeah!” Sunny said. “See, no iss—” Lunartic was cut off by Sunny saying: “but I wanna know who Moony is gonna show me to! ^^” Lunartic grumbled; “LISTEN!! Sunny, she’s an AWFUL person , don't you remember what she did?! SHE—” Moony, with years of resentment and rage built up in her, inhaled deeply before pushing him out of the way. “Huh? Wait, GASP!! Isn't that—?! :D” Sunny began to run towards Starry, but before he got the chance to talk to her, The Gourd teleported everyone to their teams.

The Gourd now took off a Hard Hat and a Belt he was wearing, before saying: “CONTESTANTS! This next challenge is one I’m SURE you’ll all love!” The Gourd announced. “LLLLASER TAG!” He unveiled a Laser Tag arena, causing Sunny, who was just now sad, to cheer in joy. “Firstly, let’s all get inside!” The Gourd said, herding the teams into the Arena.

“Alright, everybody, stay still for one second—” Everyone got black, styrofoam vests that had a LED Circle Light in the middle, glowing their Team’s Color. “Great! HERE’S THE RULES!”

“Ofcourse, number one— DON’T touch other players! Laser Tag is NO-CONTACT!” The Gourd looked at Star. “Rule TWO! DON’T cover your sensors! The only way a person can get you OUT of the challenge is by shooting you with their laser!” He looked at Heart. “Rule THREE! BE a good sport, won’t ya? I mean, ,’mon guys! I TRY to have fun challenges, isn't that the LEAST you can do?” He looked at Lunartic pleadingly. “Rule FOUR! THIS IS A GAME THAT LITERAL CHILDREN PLAY! Keep. Your. Cool.” He glared at all of the contestants. “RULE FIVE! …that's it actually.” The Gourd shrugged. “SO! There are 8 of each type of gun! Each team gets each! There are 3 types, to be exact! One’s a Short-Burst, so you should use it afar! One’s a Long-Burst, use it up close, and the last one is a Beam-Gun, holding it releases a constant beam! Each gun will begin to click after 5 seconds of being used consistently! When that happens, LET GO OF THE TRIGGER! You’ll have to wait another 5 seconds until the Lasers inside recharge!” The contestants began grabbing their weapons. “AS FOR HOW TO BE ELIMINATED! If you're SHOT by a Laser, your Vest will begin to beep! After 3 beeps, it will turn OFF! Once your vest is OFF, that means you're OUT!” The Gourd sighed. “ALRIGHT!! ISSS EVERYONE READY?!” He said.

Sunny, Period, Comedy, and Paperplates all cheered “YYYEAAHHHH!!!”, resulting in The Gourd to say— “ONCE YOUR IN THE ARENA’S PEREMITTERS, YOUR VEST WILL TURN ON! GO!”

Contestants began to swarm into the Arena, Moony and Sunny separated, and immediately afterwards, Moony bumped into House, resulting in the two of them simultaneously shooting each other with their Laser Guns. The Morse Code for the letter “S” played, and both of their vests turned off. “...sigh. Time to sit out.” Moony said. “Hey! Before you sit— I need to let you know that—”

“HOUSE AND MOONY ARE OUT!” The Gourd announced, cutting House off. “What were you going to say?” Moony asked as she walked. “...nothing.” House sighed, walking with her.

As GyroGyro and Sunny wandered, GyroGyro was shot by Paperplates. “Ack! Hmph!” Sunny then shot at Tragedy, who was at her side, resulting in Paperplates gasping and looking over, to which Tragedy said— “What was the point?” and walking out. Paperplates “Hmph!”ed and began to scale the wall next to her to get a good shot, Sunny began running around her as they both began to aim.

Meanwhile, Comedy shot at Penta, eliminating him. “HAHA!! 3 more to go!!” Comedy ran further into the arena as Starry came out, only for Period to shoot her. “Sigh, good job, big one!” Starry then walked out as Period stood there. “Big one..? She thinks I’m big? SHE THINKS I’M BIG? OHMYGOSH… SOMEONE THINKS I’M BIG!!” Period began to squeal and, despite them being his only form of stability, tapped his feet quickly and excitedly on the floor. “DOT! Help me get Paperplates!” Period snapped out of it and said— “On it!” Now helping Sunny.

“GYROGYRO, TRAGEDY, PENTA, STARRY AND PHANTOM HAVE BEEN EL-IMINATED!” The Gourd annouced over the speakers. “THAT’S 6 MEMBERS LEFT FOR THE MASQUERADE, 5 MEMBERS LEFT FOR TEAM FUN, YET ONLY 4 MEMBERS LEFT FOR TEAM “WHAT?”!” He clarified.

“Ha! We’re in the lead! >:)” Paperplates told Sunny and Period. “Not anymore!” Sunny shot at Paperplates, causing her to be eliminated. “Aw, man! :-(“ she hopped down and ran off. “Who’s next?” Period asked Sunny. “You lead! <)”

Exclamation Mark yelped as a Laser went off! “PAPERPLATES AND MIME ARE NOW OUT! THE MASQUERADE, YOUR AT RISK!”Exclamation Mark sighed as Mime walked past Sunny and Period.

As Triangula was walking around, a Blue Laser pointed at he Vest, causing both the Laser and the Vest to beep rapidly, before the vest exploded with Blue Paint. “BLECK! THE HELL?!” Triangula groaned as she walked out.

Meanwhile, Question Mark shot at Hangman, getting him eliminated. “Who’s left?” Question Mark asked, before spotting Period and Sunny.

“THE REMAINING CONTESTANTS ARE! SUNNY! COMEDY! PERIOD! CLOUDY! STAR! LUNARTIC! EXCLAMATION MARK AND QUESTION MARK!” The Gourd announced as Question Mark began to team up with Exclamation Mark.

Comedy got distracted as Heart passed by, saying— “NICE BLUE MAKEUP, ICE QUEEN!” Heart blew a kiss towards him as she walked out. Sunny then took this opportunity to shoot Comedy, eliminating him. “AWHHH! >:(“

“Where is Cloudy…?!” Period said, looking around. Cloudy, however… was atop one of the many decorative structures, asleep.

“Lunartic?!” Exclamation Mark feared, “What?” Question Mark pointed out to him— “Look, down there!” She pointed out of the North Sniping Tower, towards Star in the Maze. “Got it, thanks.” Lunartic now gripped the trigger and fired.

“...” Star’s Vest Beeped.

“GAME!” The Gourd announced. “Team FUN! , you have 5 members left.” Exclamation Mark sighed, “Good thing we raised such a killer, right hon?” Exclamation Mark said to Question Mark. “Is that Blue Paint?” Question Mark pointed towards the South-West Sniping Tower, which had a strange blue substance, which was seemingly still fresh inside of its walls, alongside numerous paper towels and makeup wipes stained blue. “Probably nothing.” Lunartic shrugged.

Question Mark, Exclamation Mark and Lunartic then got down to collect Sunny and Period and get out.

“Now that the challenge is finished, I can announce that like the Chamber of Lava, and the Tightrope Skylands, you may also use the Laser Tag Arena freely!” The Gourd announced, to Sunny, Period, Comedy and Paperplates’ Pleasures. “NOW! Tea— WAIT!” The Gourd yelled.

“Triangula, did you shoot ANY of your team members?” The Gourd sternly asked. “..no?” Triangula said, confused and trying to get the paint off of her. “...someone committed friendly fire then.” The Gourd seemed frustrated. “One of Team “What?”’s members has committed Friendly Fire, which is indicative of sabotaging their OWN team.” The Gourd sighed. “Until I find the perpetrator, the Laser Tag Arena is not to be used.” Sunny, Period, Comedy and Paperplates now all groaned. “Triangula, take this bucket of water—” The Gourd summoned a bucket of water. “and clean the paint off.” The Gourd now turned to Star, Heart, Penta and House. “Team “What?” see you at elimination tonight.” He nodded and disappeared.

Heart looked at Triangula, knowing full well she’d be leaving tonight.

AT THE ELIMINATION CEREMONY.

“Jeez, you guys just can't stop LOSING! It's pathetic, it really is.” The Gourd said.

“ANYWAYS! You know the drill.” He said as Heart got up to make her vote.

As expected, the team unanimously decided…

“TRIANGULA. You're the next eliminated contestant.” The Gourd said, as Triangula sighed.

“You guys are gonna have to break apart now, you do realize that?” Triangula said as her last words.

“..WELP! See you next time!” The Gourd cackles as the lights go out.

END.

AROS was written by TheWiseGuest.

All characters' voices, present or not, were acted out by L. Alberto S.

FIN.

“...sigh. I need new friends.” Triangula said as the bus to Another Random Object Show parked in front of her, allowing her to be the first person on the bus.

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[countingnothings]

my spouse was on console (space jargon for "being part of the earthbound team managing realtime iss details/movements/etc.") during the week the boeing launch finally happening, and let me tell you all: there is SO MUCH. so much!! that goes into this. i have been joking for weeks now that clearly someone on the iss is a boeing whistleblower and this is just the latest assassination attempt.

so, first of all, a disclaimer: my information is hella biased by the team my spouse is on, whose opinions are very loud and very particular. they're a joint american-canadian team whose internal critical culture is very strong. they also have a ton of ties to other groups so are a gossip hub, but, as my spouse reminded me when i mentioned i was writing this, they don't actually get to see data in every case. also, and this is essential to their collective character, each new group member spends the first few weeks of work reading, re-reading, and getting tested on (including oral exams!) the various NASA shuttle disasters, so they have built-in strong feelings about shuttle launches. finally, i am not on this team. my information is second-hand, so you should judge it accordingly!

okay, disclaimers over! i'm going to talk a bit about space spending and privatisation, explain why NASA can't send up an empty dragon or charge boeing rent, and finally give you some lightly redacted boeing goss.

let's talk about space spending

NASA and the CSA (canadian space agency, where my spouse works) both have mandates to support national industry. that means both agencies are required to spend on tech built by for-profit domestic partners, and both agencies also spend on contractors trained by for-profit domestic partners.

it gets better: NASA's staffing budget is particularly limited. i don't know how this plays out in other groups, but in my spouse's group, the vast majority of employees are contractors. although these people get the same training as full employees, they tend to trend younger than the full employees and don't always stick around; much of the group's institutional memory is concentrated in the CSA members, who are almost all full employees (they were ALL full employees until very recently, when the CSA similarly decided to cut costs by going for contractors).

so when your budget keeps getting cut, most of your internal staff don't have job security (or benefits, or union membership, etc.), and part of your mission is to support national industry, naturally, you are not building space shuttles in-house.

but even when NASA was building space shuttles in-house, they were commissioning or buying component parts from domestic manufacturers. for instance, the problem parts in the challenger disaster were built by an outside firm. the privatisation of space travel is currently a major issue and i have been known to yell about it myself - but it's been ongoing for a very, very long time. it's an essential part of north american space culture, recently reinforced by economic pressures (budget cuts) and hiring trends that threaten the preservation of in-house expertise.

2. are we at the mercy of non-NASA tech?

when you bid for a NASA project, you're committing to working together with NASA. so while the tech is designed, manufactured, tested, etc. by the industrial partner, each step of the process involves NASA engineers, and NASA is the one who certifies whether something is go or no-go for launch. challenger taught NASA that when your engineers say "we have doubts," you shouldn't certify something for launch anyway - the extent to which political and economic pressures impact the application of that learning is something we can speculate about, though. but also, the starliner project is much more collaborative (boeing-NASA) than space x was/is - in this case, it's hard to clearly say that the starliner is exclusively boeing's.

so, NASA is not at the mercy of non-NASA tech, if by "at the mercy" we mean "has no control over." they are at the mercy of their limited budget, though, and this is relevant to the boeing case particularly.

boeing has been trying to get this goddamn shuttle to launch for a long time. issues keep cropping up that make even me, a decidedly non-technical person, say "well, it seems like they're not actually ready and should go home for a little while to work out the kinks." the trouble is, if NASA tells boeing this, NASA is on the hook to pay for all the aborted or cancelled launches. if boeing keeps showing up and launches get aborted or cancelled, boeing has to pay the costs. NASA, of course, does not have the kind of money an industrial partner does.

you can imagine the decision-making process here pretty easily: it will be inconvenient for our schedules to allow boeing to monopolise time and facilities, but a) we're the ones who call a launch based on safety, and b) it's better to keep calling launches than to pay out to send boeing back to the drawing board.

3. is there such a thing as "too many dragons"?

NASA does not have the budget for this, either, even if another such vehicle was ready to launch (technically + with allocated astronauts), or if there was docking space on the ISS for a seventh vehicle (there are currently six docked). boeing certainly isn't going to pay for it, and space x certainly isn't going to do it for free. sending up another dragon is not a viable option (also an "empty" dragon launch isn't possible; these things have minimum crewing needs, but since the dragon has decent crew space i'm going to assume "empty" means "minimally crewed").

the soyuz can't take them home because soyuz suits are special in some way i don't pretend to understand, and unlike in all of the science fiction movies i love, real-life spacesuits are one-size-fits-one. there isn't any such thing as a spare spacesuit.

the dragon that's up there does have room in the trunk (cargo bay), and when the russian section sprung a leak last year NASA verified that it's probably safe for astronauts/cosmonauts to ride home in the trunk. that's a more feasible option. but that ship is on a schedule - the regular astronauts still have quite a while left on their tour in space, and the ship is unlikely to leave before that tour is up.

the best option, of course, would be boeing's engineers and NASA's engineers getting the data they need from the starliner to be able to direct the astronauts to make whatever repairs are needed, but getting that data has proven difficult for very boring "limits of our technology" reasons.

4. honestly, boeing should be paying through the nose and iss berth rent is just the beginning

lol. lmao even. i would LOVE to see NASA charge boeing berth rent, unironically, unsarcastically, it would make my absolute day. but NASA's contract with boeing wouldn't even let them send boeing home to do some more work before trying to launch. they definitely are not able to charge boeing anything, or impose other penalties. recall that, in addition to present budgetary constraints, NASA's mandate is the support of national industry.

no, no, NASA has been providing and will continue to provide support to boeing in the form of human-hours as the process of "how do we get the damn thing back down, possibly even with astronauts in it?" continues. the week after the launch my spouse's team was scrambling to write last-minute mission parameters for using the canadarm's cameras to take pictures of the relevant sections of the starliner. this kind of thing will continue, and must, because of the kind of entity NASA is and because of the nature of their contracts with boeing.

it's so, so crucial for this conversation that we keep in mind that boeing and space x are simultaneously contracted to provide a service to NASA -and- entities NASA is mandated to support. NASA is not the customer in this situation, or at least, not strictly, nor is the US government.

5. finally: the boeing goss. sadly redacted.

oooh i cannot tell you all any of the really juicy stuff because it has unreleased technical details that i definitely am not cleared to know but, uh, spousal privilege or something. instead, i will give you the broad brushstrokes.

boeing is so late delivering this shuttle. SO LATE. that's in part because of the collaborative aspect of the project, but, and here i'm editorialising, i think we have all learned a lot about boeing's corporate incompetence in the past little while, and about their willingness to sacrifice a lot for a buck. but the lateness of the delivery is an important part of the story, because in my reading, the urgency of that lateness directly influenced the bullet points that follow.

as i mentioned, boeing has been trying to launch for a while. we salute our test-pilot astronauts, including the first female test astronaut, who have been through so much shit since the beginning of may. Suni and Butch!! total badasses and also probably a musical act. cancelled launches, launches aborted on the pad, launches aborted in the last literal minute before liftoff, having to be guided by engineers through cockpit repairs to see if the launch doesn't actually have to be aborted after all... they deserve all the accolades.

when they finally fucking launched, the launch had had to be delayed for technical reasons, so they missed their window to reach the iss with the shortest flightpath. that meant a much longer time in space in the starliner.

at the end of that longer approach, again for technical reasons, it was unsafe for them to dock. the iss orbits the earth once every 90-ish minutes; they had to wait even longer to see if they could safely dock the second time around, or if they would have to make an equally unsafe descent to the planet.

they finally docked!! on the iss instagram you can see video of the test-pilot astronauts getting on board the iss and the sheer relief looks kind of gut-wrenching.

at NASA, everything gets debriefed, even stuff that goes off without a hitch. usually, international partners are included in these debriefs, especially when, as in this case, they were directly involved. boeing refused to allow international partners into critical sections of the debrief for "intellectual property" reasons. i don't know how all of them felt about that, but the canadian liaison was... let's say, "not pleased," in the technical diplomatic sense. i would be very surprised if a canadian astronaut ever flies on the starliner.

they still haven't fucking figured out what's wrong, much less how to fix it. the latest data-gathering proposal i heard about (this past week) included tests that would literally destroy - as in, obliterate - some of the cameras on the station. naturally, the groups in charge of those cameras objected! but "how will we get the data we need" is still an open question.

the iss is OLD. it was supposed to come down this year, its 25th, but in 2022 its mission got officially prolonged until 2030. 9 people is a tax on this old lady's systems. apparently this is not a huge concern - just air and water systems working harder than usual - but to my mind, it's got to be unsettling living with an untested-ly large number of people on the oldest lady in the sky.

also unrelated (BUT MAYBE NOT) the iss crew has been having spacewalk challenges the past little while. lots of important stuff getting delayed. friday, a spacewalk was aborted after the airlock had already been depressurised. it all feels very much like Bad Space Omens to me.