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solarpunkani · 11 months ago

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The Lost Doll - A Short Story

To say that Arrden was in trouble didn’t even begin to describe his situation right now. He was screwed, utterly screwed, in deep doo doo. Deep.

He’d lost track of his little sister’s favorite doll again, a third strike on his record for being responsible. Not only that, but he’d lost it out in the city--where he and his sister weren’t even supposed to be in the first place! There was no way he would be able to explain himself to Mom and Dad without getting himself in trouble!

So there was only one solution. He’d have to go back out there and hunt it down, before either of them noticed it was gone.

“Arry! I want my dolly back!” his sister whined, but Arrden quietly shushed her.

“If you stay quiet, I’ll go get it and bring you some sweets!” he said.

Daisy hummed, her lip poking out into a powerful pout as she crossed her arms. “...gimme good sweets. From Junebugs!”

“Junebugs?!” what was he supposed to barter to get some of Junebugs’ candied fruit?! He was already pushing it just going out again, let alone bringing something to trade! “I can’t get anything from Junebugs, how about Missy Anne’s?”

Daisy responded by tilting her head back and yelling. “Daddyyy!”

“Okay, okay, okay! I’ll get you something from Junebugs, just don’t tell Dad yet!”

Daisy harrumphed, but nodded. At that same moment, their Dad came rushing up the stairs. “What’s going on up here, is everything alright?”

“I want uppies!!” Daisy beamed, reaching up with her little arms. Their dad laughed and reached down to pick her up, holding her close to his chest with a squeeze that made her giggle. While he was distracted, Arrden hurried downstairs to grab his bag and his skateboard.

“Hey, Arrden! Where’re you going?” his father called out.

Arrden froze in his tracks. Shit. “Uh! I wanted to go hang out at the library, maybe get more books!” That wasn’t entirely a lie--he did have to go to the library to check if they’d left the doll there during their earlier visit. And he did want to check out a book too.

“Alright, but can you get me some eggs from the Ferns on your way back? We’ll need them for breakfast tomorrow, bring her a few cuttings from the garden!”

Score! If he could take a few extra flower cuttings, he might be able to trade something for some Junebugs! “Okay, Dad! I won’t be too long, promise!”

Before his dad could ask any more questions, Arrden slipped out of the front door and hurried into the garden, picking the trimmers and two glass jars from the gardening table to set to work. Calendulas, rudbeckias, zinnias, and a few stems of milkweeds all found their way into the jar, which he placed into his tote as he slung it over his shoulder. He hopped over the fence, onto his skateboard, and was cruising out towards the rest of the town in a matter of moments.

Gliding through the town on his board, he took a moment to appreciate it all--it was home, so he was used to it, but it really was so pretty. In school they’d been studying how things were just a few decades ago--an era he remembered faintly, but had no real fond memories for. He was younger than Daisy is now when their town started being remade into what it was, solar panels on every rooftop, gardens big and small bursting out of every crevice one could fit dirt into. Stained glass adorned practically every building, murals of suns and moons and plants and animals on any blank wall that wasn’t already overgrown with vining flowers. Maybe it was because he was old enough to ride around on a skateboard by himself, but things felt… smaller, than they did before. On bad days, it could be stifling, but on good days it was cozy. Most days were good days.

It didn’t take too long to get to the market plaza. He didn’t even have to look up to know he’d arrived, the light changing to pinks and oranges and yellows as he passed under the mess of fabric tarps overhanging the entire square. There were quite a few stands out today, some offering little baubles made of recycled plastic, or carved wooden statues of deer and bears and foxes, and the instrument maker was even offering a new guitar or two. Ooh, he’d have to save up for that. If he could prove himself responsible enough to maintain a spinning wheel, his friend Azzy had a few sheep, and they were always willing to give him wool to spin into yarn. Or better--if he could keep bees, to make honey and beeswax, that made for good trades.

Being responsible enough was the one thing he probably wasn’t today, since he’d lost his sister’s doll.

Technically, Daisy had lost the doll, but it was still Arrden’s fault because he’d taken her out of the house while Dad was away at book club earlier. Oh, they’d explored the town together, gone everywhere Arrden knew she enjoyed, to cheer her up. She’d been stuck inside for days now--battling a nasty ear infection--but now that she was feeling better, she’d been begging to be let outside. Their parents said to wait just a few more days, to make sure she’d truly beaten it. Unfortunately, Arrden was weak to Daisy’s puppy dog eyes, and had whisked her away to explore all their favorite stomping grounds, getting her back home just before their dad got home. And apparently she’d dropped the doll somewhere on their adventures, and now here he was.

He stopped by the seed stand--Daisy always loved looking at the mystifying colors of Mister Peters’ glass gem corn, or reaching into the big bags of beans and letting them run through her little fingers. They’d definitely stopped here today--after all, Mister Peters’ son Kendall was working the stand, and he and Arrden had always been buddies.

“Hey, man!” Kendall beamed, reaching over the desk to tousle Arrden’s afro. Arrden mock-whined and nudged the taller boy off of him, rolling his eyes before sending him a grin. “You back again already? Did your Ma tell you to pick up more flower seeds? We're almost out of Liatris for the season.”

“Nah, it’s Ma’s working season. She doesn’t get back home till just before sunset. Did you see my sister’s doll anywhere around here? She lost it while we were out,” Arrden asked.

Kendall tutted at him, bead-adorned dreads swishing back and forth as he shook his head. “C’mon, man, you’re never gonna get those hives if you keep losing your sister’s stuff.”

“It’s not my fault she keeps dropping it! If she cares about it so much, you’d think she’d keep track of it better!”

“Yeah, and if you cared about getting those hives and that spinning wheel, you wouldn’t keep riskin’ it by taking her out with it.”

“Like she goes anywhere without it!”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Kendall arched a brow at him.

Arrden sighed. “I know, I know. But Daisy was so sad! I couldn’t not take her with me!”

“Well, let’s just hope you get that doll back. Oh! Mrs. Fern wants me and Dad to plant a garden near her chicken coops next week, Dad said I can invite any friends I want. Next Saturday, nine AM, her place?”

“...won’t the chickens just eat all the seeds again, like they did last year?”

“Oh, of course they’re going to, but Mrs. Fern’s gonna make us a big apple pie for all our hard work, and I know you want in on it.”

“You should’ve lead with the apple pie, man, I’m in! But I’ve gotta get going, text me about it later?”

“You know it! Good luck on finding that doll!”

Arrden left him with a final wave, hopping back onto his skateboard and wheeling off further into the market place.

Unfortunately, no other stands had his sister’s lost doll. He tried every other one they’d gone to--the bead and jewelry stand, the stand for the Watters’ farm selling baby chicks and a lamb, the one for the new artist that had moved to town a few months back--no such luck.

The next best bet was the big, round, blue and yellow tent at the end of the marketplace. It was where Luna sang songs to entertain kids while their parents browsed the wares at the market in peace. It was never really Arrden’s thing growing up--he preferred poking his nose into his parents’ business, seeing what they were getting and running around making trouble for himself. But his sister loved the tent and ol’ Luna, and would beg to stop there even when it was just the two of them. So he ducked inside to check the seats.

Fortunately, Luna wasn’t performing right now. Instead, there was a younger girl, just tuning up the guitar in anticipation for the next batch of kids. She looked up with a bright smile as he stepped in. “Hello, there! Anything I can help you with?”

Arrden froze. That was not Old Lady Luna. That was Pretty Girl Sasi, the girl who sat in front of him in class. He definitely didn’t have a crush on her! Absolutely not, no matter how much his friends insisted he turned red as a tomato around her, he did not have a crush on her! She was just. Really pretty! And he didn’t know how to handle that!

“O-Oh, Sasi! I--I wasn’t expecting--I thought--Old Lady Luna--” he stammered, feeling his neck get hot.

“Luna’s my aunt, I’m helping her for the weekend in exchange for more guitar lessons.” Sasi said, standing to her feet and brushing long, silky black hair over her shoulder. “I’m sure she’d love to teach more people, if you wanted to do lessons together sometime?”

Honestly, Arrden had never had much interest in learning guitar, but now he was half-tempted to trade the flowers in his bag for that pretty new guitar at the instrument seller’s stand. “Oh! Uh--I--maybe! I’ll see if I can--ah--” his brain went numb for a second, and Sasi sent him an amused look as he briefly opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Wasn’t he here for something? Right! “Have you seen my sister’s doll? I--my sister was here earlier, and she lost her doll, and I dunno if it might’ve been here or… y’know. Y’know?”

Sasi giggled, making her way over to a basket tucked away to the side. “Well, I dunno what her doll looks like specifically, but my aunt always puts stuff kids leave behind in this basket. Wanna check?”

Arrden nodded and got to his knees, sorting through the basket a moment. There were a handful of dolls there--some little brown bears or orange foxes, others moreso resembling people, but none of them were Daisy’s little flower doll. He had to wonder if there were tons of brothers ripping and running around town trying to find their little siblings’ dolls today, or if these had been left for months and years with no owner. It made him a bit sad, and for a moment he missed his own little childhood doll, even though Black Cat still sat safely on a shelf in his room.

As he stood back up, Sasi frowned. “It’s not there? I hope you find it.”

“I hope so too. I’ve got a few more places to check, though, so fingers crossed!” Arden sighed, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder. Sasi grinned, bangles clinking as she held up her own hands with their fingers crossed, prompting him to do the same. “Oh! My friend Kendall’s dad is planting flowers at Mrs. Ferns’ chicken coop next Saturday at nine, you’ll probably wanna ask him to be sure, but I think it’d be cool if you came! We’ll get apple pie after, too!”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude…”

“I don’t think you’d be intruding! I mean--I’ll text Kendall and ask if you can come, but I doubt he’d say no!”

Sasi awkwardly rubbed her arm, her shoe nudging a divot into the soft dirt under them. “I’ve never really gardened before… I don’t think I’ve planted a seed since I was little, none of my family’s ever been good at it…”

“Oh! Between me and Kendall, you’ll be a pro in no time!”

“Then… maybe I’ll try it. Oh, I think my mom wanted to ask your dad to plant some moonflower seedlings by our gazebo… unless you wanted to come and do it sometime? We could trade numbers and figure out a time…”

Butterflies danced in Arrden’s stomach as he whipped his phone out of his pocket. “Y-Yeah, sure, let’s trade numbers--” unfortunately, he whipped it out so fast the phone flew out of his hand and plopped into the dirt by Sasi’s feet. The girl laughed a bit, bending down to get it and offer it back to him, and he smiled sheepishly. “Th-Thanks, Sasi…”

In just a few moments, the two had exchanged numbers and sent the customary ‘hey this is Arrden’ or ‘Hi this is Sasi’ texts, well on their way to expanding their friendship. Sasi even watched him leave from the opening of the tent, waving him goodbye as he skated away.

Arrden found himself humming a love song all the way to the pet store.

Right, he and Daisy had come here for cat food! After all, Arrden’s crime today hadn’t been leaving the house, but leaving the house with Daisy. He’d stopped to grab food and a new toy for their housecat, Shadow. Daisy had wanted to come along to see the adoptable puppies the Lees had raised, all ready to herd sheep on some other farmer’s land. Even though they didn’t have a farm, the puppies were still little fluffy bundles that Daisy just couldn’t resist playing with. However, he did send a few pics to Azzy, and had received some heart eye emojis in response. Who knows? Next time he went to their place, they might have a new bundle of joy bouncing around the fields.

When he saw the puppies playing tug of war, his heart sank, but he instantly relaxed when he realized they were playing with a bundle of rope and not a little doll. Arrden doublechecked the rest of their outdoor pen, and even tried to peek into their dog house, before he decided ‘no way it's in there’ and instead made his way inside.

The shelves were well stocked with a variety of foods for a variety of animals, and all kinds of toys. There were even a few birds on display inside--he paused a moment to look at the fluffy-looking pigeons, and gently pat a couple of peachicks through the gaps in their cage. Tanks, leashes, training manuals, and treats were also available--a vast array of homemade cookies and biscuits with all kinds of berries and faux icing. ‘Human made, dog approved,’ the sign above them said. He’d been dared to eat one, a few years back, and truth be told he understood why the dogs liked them. Personally? Arrden wasn’t a fan.

He perused the entire store in search of his sister’s doll, double and triple checking the toy shelves to make sure he hadn’t missed it. God forbid, someone had traded for it thinking it was one of Mx. Miller’s handmade toys and already tossed it to the hounds. He tried to put that thought out of his mind.

After making one final loop around the store, Arrden approached the desk, where Mx. Miller was working on sewing up another pet toy out of scraps of old clothes and hand spun fabric. Right, a lot of people would donate their old and worn clothes to the shop so they could find new life as a beloved toy. At least, when they didn’t donate them to a teen hoping to learn embroidery or make new patches for their jacket. In that sense, Arrden and Mx. Miller were staunch competitors in the last life of beloved fabric market, if his patch-adorned vest had anything to say.

“Hey, there! Can I help you with anything?” Mx. Miller asked as they looked up from their work.

“Hi, uhm… my sister lost her doll earlier today, and I was wondering if you saw it by any chance? It’s about this big--” Arrden cupped his hand a little over a foot above the top of the counter. “--and looks like a white and yellow daisy, with green arms and legs.”

Mx. Miller scrunched their nose--they must’ve seen all kinds of toys over the course of the day--and eventually shook their head. “I don’t remember seeing a doll like that. But if anyone brings one like that in, I’ll keep it in lost and found, alright?”

Arrden nodded quietly. “Okay! Thank you, Mx. Miller.” Arrden made his way out of the store, pausing a moment to ruffle one of the puppies’ heads a bit as it poked its head over the baby cage before he hopped back onto his skateboard and made his way off.

No luck at the market, no luck at the music tent, no luck at the pet shop… his last hopes were the library, Mrs. Kitterling’s jewelry shop, or just… out in the street somewhere, stepped upon and dirty. Or worse. Someone had seen it and taken it, and Arrden was thoroughly screwed.

He couldn’t lose hope. He’d stop by the library, cross his fingers, hope to any power there was that he found it alright.

He felt the path change under the wheels of his board as he turned onto the Aster Town Library’s walkway. It was still old cobblestone, with a few cushiony low-growing groundcovers poking between the tracks. Comfy for shoes--or those who preferred to walk barefoot, like Sasi’s family--but not so great for itty bitty skateboard wheels, so he hopped off the board and tucked it under his arm and walked the rest of the way. To either side of the cobblestone path, there were gardens--to his left, an expansive meadow of wildflowers, almost like the garden at home, and to his right was a small pond with an array of koi and all kinds of other fish, their scales glittering like tiny drops of sunlight under the water’s surface. Dotted across both landscapes were benches, for people to enjoy a drink and a book while taking in the perfumed scent of flowers, or listening to the gentle trickle of the pond’s small waterfall. He checked all the outside benches, but deep down he knew Daisy’s doll wouldn’t be out here. These sitting spots were great and all, but Daisy spent most of her time in other spaces.

Arden entered the library and placed his skateboard on the designated skateboard shelf by the door, which already had a couple of other tenants taking up slots. They were all a similar color to his, but he knew he’d be able to grab the right one--his was custom painted with a big yellow sunflower, spinning wheels and bees along the edges, and a couple of stickers in the blank spaces. He’d done everything but paint his name on the bottom of the board to mark it as his. Plus, everyone else had their boards painted--one had a bright big zinnia flower, with suns and moons both on the horizon, while another had a ferocious looking bear painted on with a wolf howling at the moon.

“Back again already?” Arrden turned to see one of the librarians, Mx. Kingsley, waving at him from the front desk. “You already returned your books, if that’s what you’re here for.”

“It’s not! Well, I do want more books, but--my sister lost her crochet doll, and I’m retracing my steps to try and find it. Did anyone turn it in?”

Mx. Kingsley shook their head, frowning a bit. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t remember any dolls being turned in today. I’ll go check the Lost and Found, why don’t you go ahead and look around while you get your books?”

“Sounds like a plan. Thank you, Mx. Kingsley!” Arrden beamed, before heading off deeper into the library.

The library had always been one of his favorite places. When he wasn’t helping his parents with the garden, or hanging out with his friends after school, you could probably find Arrden tucked away somewhere on library grounds. He knew this place like the back of his hand--if he ever applied to volunteer here, no doubt he’d be let in, but he wanted to have a little bit more freedom before leashing himself to a formal volunteer position. Nevertheless, he was here all the time, and his sister Daisy was also becoming fond of the place. As Arrden perused the shelves, selecting a few books on beekeeping and wool spinning as well as a few novels, he took a moment to enjoy the pure library vibes. Small potted herbs grew on the shelves, bundles of mint to be snacked on, while posters for new books and fliers for town events adorned walls and bulletin boards all across the space. Every book in here was well-loved, the smell of old books mingling with the herbs and making everything just… heavenly. There were plenty of bright, sunny windows--some clear, most brightly colored stained glass works of trees and flowers sprouting out of open books--all with plenty of cushioned benches and rocking chairs and bean bags sprawled out underneath them. A few of the study rooms had been borrowed, a couple of kids studying in one, while the other had a handful of adults using the chalkboard to talk about something-or-another. Even still, Arrden knew his sister’s doll wouldn’t be in any of these places.

Instead, he stepped out the side door, and directly into the warm and cozy greenhouse area. A mix of colorful panels greeted him with spots of light on the ground, casting everything into an almost magical light. There were two large tables that were perfect for studying and craft sessions, potted herbs and even a few fruit trees along the sides of the walls, but best of all--a big, comfy chair, tucked into a corner with its own shelf of books nearby. This was his favorite spot in the library--and his sister’s too. Arrden was half-tempted to just sink into the big chair, curl up with one of his books, and let the hours pass as he lost himself among the pages of a story. The library was open through the night, but he’d never been allowed to stay past eight, because apparently fourteen was still too young to be out on his own late at night.

But no, he was here for a reason. So instead of settling into the chair, he checked the cushions to make sure the doll hadn’t been lost in the depth of it, but came up with nothing but a healthy dose of lint-fingers. Daisy’s doll wasn’t sitting on any of the tables or shelves either, nor was it on the floor. This was the only room Daisy ever liked to hang out in, so the odds of it being anywhere else were… slim.

As he made his way back to the front desk, he passed a shelf of books and a title stuck out to him--something about playing guitar for beginners. Well… it wouldn’t be so bad to do a bit of reading, would it? He took the book and tucked it under his arm with the others.

“Find the books you’re looking for?” Mx. Miller asked as Arrden arrived to the desk.

“I did! Did you find my sister’s doll?”

The look on Mx. Miller’s face told him everything he needed to know, but even still they shook their head with a soft sigh. “There aren’t any dolls in the lost and found, kiddo. I hope you find it!”

Arrden sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I hope so too.” He placed his books on the counter, and Mx. Miller began scanning them out of the system.

“More books on beekeeping and spinning? I’d think you’d be one of the resident experts by now!” they said with a soft laugh.

“I just wanna make sure I know all I can! I still gotta get my parents to let me have the gear and all.”

“Oh, I remember when I was trying to start with my crafts. It took ages to convince my parents I could run a spinning wheel without hurting myself, but one day one of my friends let me try spinning with the wheel she had at her place. When I came back with a nice bundle of finished yarn I’d spun myself, and less bandages than they expected, my parents let me go get my own wheel the next day.”

Arrden hummed. “Maybe… but I dunno anyone with a wheel who’d let me borrow it.”

Mx. Miller arched an eyebrow, gesturing with their eyes towards the craft room in the back. “You know, I just dropped one of my older wheels into the tool space for borrow. How about the next time you come around, you put your skills to the test? I’ve got some hemp I’ve already combed out but I never ended up doing anything with it, I’m more than happy to let you learn spinning with it!”

“You’re for real?” Arrden beamed. “I’d love to! Oh, maybe I can come right after school Tuesday?”

“I’ll be sure to bring it in, then!” Mx. Miller slid the books across the counter back to Arrden. “You keep on reading until then, alright? I can’t help you with the bees, after all.”

“Okay! Oh, did you want anything for--I mean, I can maybe bring you some of my mom’s flowers, or--”

“Oh, no, no! We don’t have to trade for it! I just love helping young learners, you know? Now get going! You’ve still gotta find that doll!”

Arrden gasped and shoved the books into his tote. “Right! Thank you again, Mx. Miller!” at that, he rushed out of the door, grabbing his board and hopping onto it as he made his way down the path. He made his way to the last possible place the doll could be--Mrs. Kitterlings’ place.

On his way there, though, he found himself stopping, hopping off his skateboard a moment to look at a garden. It was a small pollinator garden, the likes of dozens around town--but this one was special to him. Not because of the big beautiful mural of butterflies and bees stopping to drink on a giant Asclepias syriaca on the brick wall overlooking it all--though common milkweed was one of his favorites for growing and trading. But because he remembered, ever so faintly, helping to start this place.

This garden--the East Avenue Pollinator Pod Garden--was one of the first Pollinator Pods to be planted in the town, about eight years ago now. He was a little kid then, and didn’t see the bigger picture--how this pod was the cornerstone that would help transform this town into the community he knew it as today. No, Arrden was just one of dozens of grubby little six year olds who were excited to get to play with dirt without getting into trouble for it that day. The adults had been working on clearing out the empty lot for ages by that point, transforming the place from some old tire-and-junk filled lot into safe, empty ground ready for planting. Not that Arrden was around to appreciate it when that work had started. He remembered following his mom around with a little plastic trowel, carefully digging where she instructed so she could help him gently place tiny little seedlings into the holes he made, or helping to scatter coreopsis, rudbeckia, and liatris seeds around while he played tag with Azzy and Kendall. His dad helped him try and properly pronounce the names, though there was still awhile where Asclepias were ‘Sleepies’ and rudbeckias were ‘Rudy-Becky’s’. And he remembered coming down with his dad every week during his mom’s working season to help water the plants and watch the life slowly fill into a place that had been so empty and barren for so long. He remembered coming to celebrate while his mom’s work group added a paved walkway, and a fountain, and a bench dedicated to a Mrs. Lianne Kitterling--the mayor at the time who had started the initiative to green up their spaces and their lives in the tiny town of Charlesville (a few years later, they’d rename the town Aster, and adopt the sunflower as their symbol). After this garden, so many more changes came--more solar panels and wind turbines floating high above the city, gardens spreading around every corner of the city, initiatives to clean the forest that bordered their town’s northern side and restore the prairie that used to be to its south. New people moved in, entranced by the changes taking place--like Sasi’s family, and his mom’s best friend Miss Dianne--and helping to shape the town into the colorful place it is now.

It was honestly hard to remember what things were like before, but maybe that was because he was so little when the changes started happening. In second grade, they changed the school year--only four days a week, and about four hours for each day, instead of the five days and six hours that had apparently been standard for decades before. He couldn’t imagine how he’d manage school and his friends and hobbies if he was spending five days in school, let alone six hours each day! His Dad said before he was born, the town switched to seasonal work--everyone could choose to either work from January to June, or July to December, at any job. Before that, everyone worked practically every day of the year, which Arrden could scarcely imagine now. Maybe all the changes hadn’t started with this garden after all, but in Arrden’s mind, watching the garden grow was the first time he realized things were changing and growing--just like the caterpillars who called the garden home. The city was in its cocoon, shifting and changing, and even now his mother said its wings were only just now unfurling.

“Hey, Arrden!”

Arrden was snapped out of his thoughts by the familiar voice calling his name, and turned in time to see his friend Azzy--and their friend, Flare--riding up on their own boards. Azzy pulled to a--somewhat clumsy--stop and hopped off their board to come join him. “What’s up? Looking at the old garden?”

“I don’t think it's that old, Az. But, uh, guess I got lost in thought seeing it.”

“I feel you, man.” they took off their helmet, long blonde hair cascading to past their shoulders. “I was just here last week, getting a few volunteer hours in filling the empty gaps with more seedlings. Felt like I got rocketed back to the past for a moment. Crazy how well everything grew in, I coulda sworn we accidentally trampled half those seedlings but now look at it all!”

“You trampled the seedlings. And I wouldn’t be surprised if the adults came in a few days later to replace the ones you stepped on, but who knows.”

“Azzy and I were heading to the skate park,” Flare said, stepping over. “You want in?”

“Ooh! Yeah, you should totally come hang! There’s even gonna be a band performing later tonight!” Azzy beamed, green eyes alight with excitement.

Arrden sighed. “I wish, but I still have that 8 o'clock curfew. And I lost my sister’s doll. I’ve gotta find it before my parents find out, or else I’m never getting that spinning wheel!”

“You lost Daisy’s daisy?! Aw, you’re in for it, man!”

He groaned. “I know!! If it’s not in Mrs. Kitterling’s place, I’m done for! I dunno where else it could be!”

“Fingers crossed for you, then! Oh, wait, Flare, you wanted to stop in Kitterlings’ too, right?”

Flare nodded. “My mom wants more decorations for her locs, and I might get some for when she twists my hair soon” she groaned. “I’m gonna miss the puffs, but having to wash and dry it all every week is driving me crazy!!”

“Aw, I don’t find it so bad! When it's my hair care day, I just plop on the couch with some snacks and turn on some good movies!”

“I wish it were that simple, my mom expects me to do so much to it! I might end up liking the twists better, who knows until I get them in? I think some bee charms’ll help!”

“Oh, you like bees?”

“Her dad’s the head of the beekeeper’s guild in town! He has, like, twenty hives!” Azzy beamed.

“Yeah, he’s been teaching me how to manage hives since I was ten! I have two hives of my own, too!”

“Ooh! I’ve been wanting to learn beekeeping for the longest while, but I haven’t gotten any hands-on experience yet!” Arrden said “I’ve checked out just about every book on beekeeping the library has, but my parents still don’t think I’m ready for a hive…”

“Why not join the guild, maybe apprentice for one of the beekeepers? I know my dad loves teaching hands-on!”

Arrden blinked dumbly. “I can join the guild if I don’t have any hives yet?”

“Dude! Yeah?! How are you supposed to take care of a real hive if you’ve never been near one before! Look--” Flare dug her phone out of her overall pocket. “We’ve gotta trade numbers, I’ll get you hooked up with Dad and maybe you can come over when he’s teaching Sasi Friday after school.”

“Sasi’s learning beekeeping?!”

“Yeah, I dunno, she didn’t catch me as the type but she told me last week that someone sparked her interest in it.”

“Oooh, wonder who that could’ve been?” Azzy laughed, nudging Arrden in the ribs. Arrden briefly remembered his last interaction with Sasi when Azzy was nearby, how they’d nudged him into talking about his interests and he wound up infodumping about bees all lunch period instead of eating. He’d thought he’d totally embarrassed himself! Was she actually interested in it now?

“Uh! Well! L-Let’s trade numbers, then!” Arrden handed Flare his phone, and Flare handed hers to him. They plugged in each others numbers and sent introductory texts and then handed back the phones. “So, you guys are going into Kitterlings?”

“Yeah, c’mon!”

Mrs. Kitterlings’ shop wasn’t very far--in fact, it was just a door away from the wall the pollinator pod was up against. The awning over the door and windows were a bit faded with age, the gold paint spelling out Kitterlings’ Jewelry chipping off the brick surface they were painted onto. Well loved, his mother had always said, the building’s well loved.

Well loved it was, indeed, with a lot of the ladies in town. Mrs. Kitterling was one of the only jewelers in town, but she made lots of items--asides from necklaces and bracelets, she also made earrings, rings, loc decorations, hearing aid jewelry, and more. This was on top of her supposedly growing some of the best roses and daffodils for barter. Or maybe the ladies liked her so much because she used to be the mayor, and had relinquished her position to instead let decisions be made by a panel of citizens a few years back? After she’d retired from politics, she’d opened the shop and almost immediately was the talk of the town all over again.

Either way, Arrden wasn’t much of a jewelry guy--he found it got in the way most of the time. But he had been here earlier to get a new bracelet for his sister, with a little daisy charm made out of recycled metal. So the odds of him having lost the doll here were fairly high.

Flare almost immediately got distracted by the loc decorations on display, little burlap baggies full of gold and silver ones on the shelf underneath, but Azzy accompanied him to the front desk. Mrs. Kitterling was talking to another woman--Mrs. Deere, one of the kindergarten teachers--about placing an order for a custom pair of earrings. Today, Mrs. Kitterling was wearing hearing aid jewelry that made her ears look like butterfly wings, adorned with a mix of wire and recycled glass gems.

Once Mrs. Deere had finished placing her order, Mrs. Kitterling turned to the two teens with a smile. “Ah, young Arrden and Azzy! A pleasure seeing you here again, how can I help you?”

“Hi, Mrs. Kitterling. I, uh, lost my sister’s doll, did you see it by any chance?” Arrden asked.

“It’s, uhm, real important!” Azzy added, trying to back him up. Arrden appreciated the effort, Az.

Mrs. Kitterling hummed, adjusting her glasses. “Why, what does the doll look like?”

“It’s got a green body, and a big daisy flower for the head! Right, Arrden?” Azzy turned to Arrden, who nodded quietly.

“About… eight inches big, I think. Something like that.” Azzy procured their sketchbook from their bag, and Arrden nodded again. “About that big!”

“I think I did see a doll like that! I bet it's in the lost and found box, give me just one moment!” Mrs. Kitterling smiled before wheeling herself to the back room.

Arrden beamed, bouncing up and down a bit with Azzy. “She has it, she has it! Maybe I can get that spinning wheel after all!”

“Then we can team up and start making a buncha yarn! And you can learn how to spin hemp and stuff too!” they said.

“Your sister’s gonna be pretty damn happy too, right?” Flare said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! That doll’s practically her best friend, she’s gonna be stoked!” Arrden gasped suddenly. “Shit! I still have to stop by the Ferns’ place to get eggs for my dad! And I promised Daisy I’d get her some Junebugs!”

“You’re going to Junebugs?!” Azzy gaped. “Hope you brought something good to trade!”

“...I’ve got some flowers?” Arrden opened his tote a bit to show the collection of cut flowers he’d brought. They were just a smidge wilted from spending the past hour or so traveling around town, but still fine to trade, right?

“That might be enough for some of a batch, but I dunno…” Azzy reached over and pat him on the back. “Fingers crossed for you, man.”

“Oh, god, you don’t think it’ll be enough? I dunno what I’m gonna do…”

Azzy hummed, tapping their chin. “I think they like raising insects. Any of those milkweeds got eggs on em?”

“Probably a couple, the monarchs have been going crazy in the garden lately.” Arden took out the milkweed stems and peered closely at the leaves. “I swear, it’d be harder to keep them away than to attract them… oh! When’d this guy get here?”

“Ooh, yeah, I see a caterpillar too! Right there!” Azzy said, pointing to a completely different leaf from the one Arrden was looking at. They then spotted the rather large caterpillar Arrden was staring at. “Oh! Guess you’ve got two! You might be good, then!”

“Oh, thank god.”

It was about then that Mrs. Kitterling wheeled her way back out to the front desk, smiling brightly as she set a little doll on the counter. “Little Daisy was still wearing a little necklace, too! Did you still want that, little Arrden?”

Arden huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “No thank you, ma’am. Thanks for keeping Little Daisy safe!” It all made sense now--Daisy would always try and let her doll partake in activities, so she was probably taking necklaces off the shelves and putting them on the doll while Arrden handled the trade for the bracelet. Then she’d gotten so excited about putting her new bracelet on, she’d probably left the doll up on the counter. Then they had to hurry home to make it back before Dad finished with book club, and they’d forgotten it entirely… well, at least he had it back now! Just a few more errands, and he could bring it back before Daisy got impatient and told on him.

“Of course, of course! Was there anything else you needed?”

“Uhm,” Flare cut in. “I was actually wanting to trade for these bee decorations, if they’re available?”

“Oh, of course, Flare, dear! What did you have in mind?”

“I’ve gotta run a few more errands, but I’ll see you guys in school?” Arrden said, already backing up towards the door.

“Oh, definitely! See you!” Azzy beamed, waving goodbye as Arrden made his way out.

Truth be told, Arden was a bit fidgety the entire ride to the Ferns’ place. He was so relieved to have found the doll, but so anxious to let it out of his sight again, so he held it tight in his grip most of the way there. At least, until he decided he didn’t want to risk dropping it, so he’d put it in his tote bag to keep it safe. But with all the flowers and jars and books in his bag at this point, the doll kinda half-hung out of it, and so he’d get paranoid that it’d fall out so then he’d clutch it tight in his hand again… what was usually a maybe twenty minute ride from Mrs. Kitterlings to the Ferns’ stretched to about thirty just because of his indecisiveness.

It probably didn’t help that the roads up to the Ferns’ weren’t all too great. They lived out near the fields--not too far from Azzy, actually--but it was a route better suited for bikes and wagons. Dirt roads weren’t too good for skateboards, so Arrden ended up on foot a good chunk of the way. Not that he actually had to travel too too far up the road, as the Ferns kept a farm stand at the end of the long driveway to their house, stocked with cartons of the day’s fresh eggs from their amassment of chickens, quail, and pigeons. Early in the mornings, you could even find a few glass bottles of milk down in the cooler, or a few blocks of cheese and butter, or baskets of whatever fruit was in season up on the table. All you had to do was leave something of worthy trade in the exchange basket, like flower cuttings, or seeds, or handmade jewelry, or… anything, honestly. His dad said the Ferns practically begged people to take their eggs from them in the past, and yet every year they were more than eager to get more chicks to add to their flocks.

Arrden placed a jar of calendulas and rudbeckias on the trade counter, gently placing a carton of chicken eggs and a glass jar from the ‘givebacks’ counter into his bag. At least it gave him a safe place to sit Little Daisy--he imagined the doll felt quite comfortable, sitting nestled in a glass jar all to herself. After making sure everything was safe and secure, he made his way back down the dirt road, hopping onto his skateboard the instant it became a viable option.

The ride to Junebugs took him to basically the opposite side of town from his house back in the suburbs, not that it meant all too much to him. He liked the solitude he got from riding around on his skateboard, humming his favorite songs and feeling the wind in his hair. Still, the street lights might be coming on by the time he actually made it back. He’d worry about that later, for now he had to hurry to Junebugs before they closed shop for the day. Fortunately, he made it just in time--the sign still read ‘Open!’ on their front door. He enjoyed the perfumed scent of the serviceberry and apple flowers as he rode under their reaching branches on the pathway, the colorful pink blooms of native rhododendrons growing in bright surges around their trunks. Junebugs’ front garden was always a wonderful sight to see, though part of it was because being there almost always meant leaving with something sweet.

The front window counter was still open, so Arrden stepped off his board and made his way over to ding the little bell on the counter. “Just one moment!” a voice called out from further inside. Of course, Arrden didn’t mind waiting--waiting just meant getting to enjoy the scent of sugar syrups and honeys and glazes, the colorful sight of candied fruits and flowers alongside baked cookies and other pastries settled on drying racks. He could feel his mouth starting to water at just the thought of taking a bite of some. Unfortunately, he had to save all the candy for his sister, otherwise she’d definitely pitch a fit.

It didn’t take too long at all for Mx. Junebug to return to the counter. Their fingers were still stained with various colors from dealing with so many plants and candies, but they brushed it off on their apron and smiled. “Hey! I like your patches, kid. How can I help you?”

“Oh, uhm, thank you!! Uhm, do you have any candied strawberries? Or violets, maybe?”

Mx. Junebug leaned on the counter. “I have both right now, just finished a batch earlier today. What’re you wanting to trade for ‘em?”

“I! Have! Uhm…” Arrden set his tote bag on the counter and gently reached in to pull out the jar of flowers that remained--a handful of zinnias and milkweed, which fortunately the two caterpillars were still munching away on. “My mom grows lots of flowers! And these ones had some caterpillars on them! I heard you like them?”

Mx. Junebug’s eyes grew wide, and Arrden knew he had a good trade before they even said anything. “I will absolutely take those little buggies off your hand! Give me a moment to get you all set up, alright?” they said, taking the jar in both hands before disappearing further into the house. Arrden leaned against the wall by the counter, lazily watching bees fly around the serviceberry blossoms as he hummed under his breath. Ultimately, it didn’t take all too long for Junebug to come back with a small bioplastic baggie of candied strawberries and violets, tied off with a little bow of teal rope. “Here you go, kid! Hope you enjoy ‘em!”

“Thanks so much, Mx. Junebug!” Arrden grinned, waving before he hopped back onto his skateboard and made his way back onto the main streets.

The ride back home was fairly uneventful. For Arrden, at least. Things in Aster slowed down, sure, but they never came to a full halt. Even now, strings of fairy lights were beginning to turn on amongst the market’s awnings, powered by solar panels that had been collecting energy all afternoon. Though most stalls stayed closed through the night, the street instead became something akin to a giant party hall for those who preferred to be active through the night. Older teens and young adults danced to a collection of music--on one end of the street, there was a punk band performing, while on the other someone had brought a speaker and was playing party tunes from their phone. Arrden was half-tempted to join them--Kendall had been to a few night parties and said they were loads of fun--but if he didn’t get home soon, his parents would be upset. So he had to muster all his self-control to stay on his board and skate past the festivities, skate past the cozy-looking library that was all aglow as late night readers nestled into beanbags and chairs. Once he made it past the nightly temptations, though, it was just softly glowing street lamps until he made it back home.

As he stepped back inside, he was greeted with the sight of his mother resting on the couch with Daisy in her lap, watching TV. His dad was in the kitchen playing rock songs on the radio as he sang and cooked.

“Hey, Ma! Hey, Dad! I’m home!” Arrden beamed.

“Glad you’re home safe! Took you a bit longer than I was expecting, was everything alright?” his dad said, peeking out from the kitchen doorway.

“A bit, but I got sidetracked talking to some friends. Sorry I’m late, though.” he said, making his way into the kitchen to set his bag down before rushing back out to hug his mother. “Hey, Ma! How was work?”

“Oh, it was good! I was just telling Daisy about the new window we’re working on for the community center’s new makerspace! It’s going to be big and round, with a lovely big daisy!”

“Daisy! Like me!” Daisy beamed.

Arrden grinned and ruffled his sister’s hair. “Daisy, like you! I bet it’s gonna look great, Mama, you can build anything!”

His mother leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead. “You’re a sweetheart, Arrden, you know that? So, what’re you gonna do tonight?”

“Uh, I checked out some books from the library that I wanna read! I left them in the kitchen, actually, let me go get them!” Arrden hopped up from the couch to duck back into the kitchen to scoop up his books--and Daisy’s doll, hopefully before his dad spotted it.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky--the doll was sitting in the jar, out on the counter beside his stack of books. He froze at the sight of it, and his father turned from the cooking to send him a look. Uh oh.

“Arrden? Let’s step outside a moment.” his father said, sliding a lid onto the simmering pasta sauce. “We need to chat.”

Uh oh.

Arrden nodded wordlessly, following his father out the back door into the backyard. There were a handful of fireflies flitting about as they made their way to the bench swing under the treehouse. His father leaned back in the seat, while Arrden sat hunched into his own shoulders. The silence was agonizing, as they sat out there, Arrden’s poor mind going wild with possibilities. He’d always tried to avoid getting into trouble with his parents, and he had a significant feeling that he was in trouble with his parents right now. Oh, he was never gonna get that spinning wheel at this rate, let alone a beehive!

“You went out to get Little Daisy back, didn’t you?” his father finally said, but he hadn’t looked away from the fireflies yet.

Arrden nodded quietly, then realized where his father’s eyes lay. “I-I did. I… wanted to bring it back before you realized it was gone, because…”

“Because you took Daisy out, even though we’d said she had to stay inside?”

“Y-Yes… I’m sorry, Dad, but she was being so sad, and I just wanted to cheer her up! We were safe the whole time, her ear didn’t even hurt at all, and--but… I shouldn’t have taken her, I’m sorry…”

His dad hummed. “I appreciate you looking out for your little sister, Arrden.” he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Lord knows my older brothers wouldn't've done the same for me at your age. And I understand why you wanted to find the doll before it became a larger issue. I’m not mad at you for trying to find the doll.” Arrden let out a sigh of relief, but paused as his father turned to him and held up a finger. “But. I’m a bit upset that you took Daisy out into the town without permission. What would you have done if she’d gotten hurt, or if her ear infection got worse while you were out?”

“...you’re right, Dad… does this mean I can’t have a spinning wheel…?”

His dad’s eyebrows arched, and his locs shifted as he tilted his head. “...not necessarily. I think you were irresponsible to do what I told you not to, but I can also see you were being responsible by looking for Little Daisy and owning up to your mistake. I do wish you would be more honest with me, though--I would have helped you look if you’d told me. And you wouldn’t’ve had to get bribe candy for your sister, either.”

“Did she tell on me?” Arrden pouted. “She promised not to if I got her candy.”

“I noticed she didn’t have the doll, and she was honest with me when I asked.” another hum from his dad. “...I’ll talk with your mother about letting you have a spinning wheel, but if you break our trust again, we’ll be pushing it back by at least a month. Alright?”

Arrden nodded. “Alright. Thanks, Dad.”

His dad laughed, ruffling his hair a moment as he stood to his feet. “You’re a good kid, Arrden. There’s worse things you could be doing than taking your sister out to play. Now, come on in when you’re ready, alright?”

“Alright, Dad.” at that, his Dad made his way inside, closing the door behind him, leaving Arrden sitting alone on the bench outside. He sighed, looking up at where the stars were beginning to peek their way through the darkening sky. He stayed there awhile, watching the fireflies and moths dance around the meadow, listening to the rustling of the wind in the tree’s branches, the gentle creak as he swung slowly back and forth on the swing.

He was a pretty good kid, huh?

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Special thanks to @1wren and @105ttt for beta-reading this fic for me!

#solarpunk #solarpunk aesthetic week #writing #short story #out of queue #ani rambles #ani writes #arrden #ani???? finally posting solarpunk writing??? YOU FUCKIN BET #I hope you guys like it!!!!#my brain is buzzing idk what to even Say at this point but uhhhhh i know its long imma go now BYE

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tetedurfarm · 2 months ago

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a few weeks ago my solar fence charger kicked it, and i am extremely annoyed by this. the battery in it had died after a week or so if overcast weather, but even after setting it in the sun and even pulling the battery out to charge on a wall charger it still won't even give me a battery checker light. so clearly something in the panel itself is fried.

this thing cost five hundred american dollars and i am gonna be real upset if i can't get it covered by gallagher's warranty...i need this thing and the thought of buying another one after less than two years of owning it is.......not my favourite thought

#their warranty is either two or three years so i SHOULD be good....#but hrrgh #i mean i guess i don't NEED an electric fence. but god my life is so much easier with one #ag talk

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hometoursandotherstuff · 1 year ago

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JUST IN TIME FOR FOOTBALL SEASON! This 1978 football themed house in Las Vegas, Nevada is ready to go. (And, when I say football-themed, I'm not kiddin') - 8bds, 6ba, $1.5M.

I told you. There are 7,000 helmets alone, on display.

They didn't really care about the rest of the house- it's pretty much a bland beige. A blank slate, really, waiting for some decor and love.

Looks kind of neglected- it was all about football in this home.

Some of the bedrooms have beds, others are empty. Looks like they only came up here to sleep.

The baths are beautiful, though. They look like they were never used.

Isn't this crazy? It's just a place to sleep.

They must use this entrance- look at the statues by the door. The bar stools are even decked out in fanwear.

Talk about a man cave. Look at this place. Can you imagine having to pack all this up, not to mention the holes in the walls.

There has to be millions of dollars worth of stuff here.

Oh, I get it- this is the kitchen they actually use. They definitely live down here.

Closet filled with football jerseys.

And, this is the bathroom they must use.

The pool lights are stunning. Isn't this pretty?

Outdoor bar and kitchen.

They must spend the rest of their time out here.

Upper deck off the primary bedroom.

I can't tell if this is the entrance to the main house or the sports area.

Lot size is .45 acre and it's all fenced in and lit.

It's a corner property and has a whole bank of solar panels on the roof.

#football house #man cave house #unusual homes #houses #house tours #home tour

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ceciliatan · 6 months ago

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The Unexpected, the Sublime, and the pastime of looking up.

Welcome to my latest monthly newsletter! If you'd prefer to get this directly in your email each month, you can sign up here: http://eepurl.com/TEWfvor you can join my patreon to get not only posts like this but other writer-y stuff and fiction as well.

Thinky Thoughts: The Unexpected, the Sublime, and the pastime of looking up. The last thing I expected this month, after just having seen the total solar eclipse in April, was an even more mind-blowing celestial event! But a Coronal Mass Ejection resulted in spectacular auroras at both poles of the Earth, and with little to no warming I decided to abandon other plans and hop in the car late Friday night to chase it. Seeing a really spectacular aurora has been on the "bucket list" for most of my life. I have seen the Northern Lights twice before, technically, once on a red-eye flight from LA to Boston in 2004, and with the naked eye once in 2015, but we really only saw it the white shimmers for maybe ten minutes before it clouded over. That time I had bookmarked several helpful websites, though, which I checked before leaving the house (including the ClearDarkSky map of New England amateur observatories, NOAA Space Weather Prediction, and SpaceWeatherLive.com). The solar flare was strong enough that some feared it would knock out GPS, so I set my downloaded map data for a place called Cumberland, Maine, just inland from Portland, where it was predicted to have clear skies after 11pm. On the drive, a tiny copper sliver of moon, the fingernail clipping of a god, was setting. Once it was gone, any light I saw in the sky I knew had to be either the glow of a city (or shopping mall...) or the aurora. As I headed north, I could not really watch the sky and the highway at the same time, but at one point I looked southeast and I could see clouds that were lit up white with a dark sky behind them. And when I looked to the north... I could see the clouds were DARK with a light sky behind them! That could only be one thing, then, aurora! I resisted the urge to just pull over then and kept on toward my more northerly destination. It was just about midnight when I made it there, and fortunately Google maps was working just fine. I quickly found a place listed as a park "open 24 hours" where the map photos showed it was a large flat open field. Five minutes later I pulled in to a small parking lot and pulled out my camera. The photo you see at the header of the newsletter was the first shot I took to the north. At first it was the most visible through my phone's camera, but as I stood there, the aurora continued to brighten. I decided to try heading north to see if I could get somewhere with no trees in the way. Google pointed me to something listed as a fairground on "Bald Hill Road." A bald hill sounded ideal, no? So off I went again, but I hadn't even gone five minutes north before I pulled over again and shot this one:

You can see that even with the blinding light of an oncoming car, the aurora is still visible. I pulled over by the fence and just watched the curtain wall thicken and shimmer. At this point it was easily visible with the naked eye, although the phone camera could still see more color. (Not just on long exposures either: just looking through the phone screen.) I decided to press on to the Bald Hill on my map, another 15 minutes north. When I got there, indeed, the fairgrounds were an ideal viewing spot, with a parking area for the car where it was safe to exit the vehicle. And this is when it turned extremely magical. I had been about to head for home, but I decided to check the space weather one last time and it showed I had actually been in a relative lull, and the strongest burst of the night was about to arrive.

The curtain wall seemed to be getting higher and higher in the sky. What I wasn't expecting was that instead of looking at an aurora happening somewhere north of me... I was soon looking at an aurora that was happening all around me. The colors turned to pink and lavender and the pillars, instead of all in a row to one side in the sky, instead encircled the horizon and met above my head like a giant, flickering circus tent. In the one spot where there was still a little doorway of dark sky I could see flashes of lavender-white light as if I were watching the actual solar wind blowing a gigantic gas flame around. Here's what it looked like directly overhead:

Merriam-Webster Online says the following for "sublime": "implies an exaltation or elevation almost beyond human comprehension." I am having a hard time coming up with a better description. And to think, without certain properties of our planet, we would see no aurora at all. The magnetic field and the atmosphere are both necessary to create aurora... and to sustain life capable of seeing it. It makes me wonder... in the most wondrous sense of the word "wonder." I'm writing this a week later and I'm still floating on air from it. And to think, if I hadn't checked Twitter, I might have missed it entirely. But I didn't. I was at the right place at the right time to experience something sublime. ------------- Here are a few more shots from that night. Stunning. With the naked eye the colors were more subtle than what the phone camera captures, but they were definitely discernible once I got away from other light sources. --------------- Meanwhile, I'm proofreading like mad... When I haven't been looking up at the sky, every other waking minute that hasn't been taken up by other work has been spent staring at PDFs of various volumes of Daron's Guitar Chronicles. Volumes 1-3 are live on Amazon (and in KU!), with Vol 4 coming June 1. I just proofed volume 8. Cover art for books 7, 8, and 9 is almost finalized! So excited. My goodness, so f***ing much happens in these books, I had forgotten, and yet they are really not about "plot" so much as they are about changes in the human heart and the changes we make in ourselves as a result of our experiences and the choices we make in the wake of our traumas. Daron tests the bonds of found family, questions definitions of both queerness and masculinity, and examines art, music, and creativity as a reason for living. I'm still kind of amazed I wrote over a million words of that, and grateful every day that people read it, and continue to read it. Here's hoping KU helps even more folks discover it?

Upcoming Appearances TONIGHT! Wednedsay, May 22, I'll be reading something queer and chit-chatting on Neon Hemlock Live (on their Instagram). But I just added a new virtual event to this September: Kink Between the Lines! KBtL, as it's known, is an event specifically by and for members of marginalized groups who crossover into kink. I'll be teaching my online "How to Write a Sex Scene" class and also hosting an erotica reading. (Stay tuned for who else will be joining me at the reading! I only just found out and haven't herded any cats yet.)

2024: - May 22: Neon Hemlock Live! - June 6-9: SFWA Nebulas Conference (in person!) - July 11-14: Readercon, Boston area - August 7-11: SABR National Convention, Minneapolis - September 27-29: Kink Between the Lines - October 16-20: World Fantasy Con, Niagara Falls 2025: - August 13-17: Worldcon in Seattle, WA Works-in-Progress Report But I know, I know, what you really want to know is... how are my writing projects coming along? I have a bunch of short stories & poems out on submission, but... I'm focusing the most right now on Windmark, the working titles of the so-called "dragon romantasy" book, while the aforementioned DGC proofreading takes up most of the rest of my time. I'm honestly not sure if it is going to be "romantasy" in the end, since that definition seems to be a moving target? But it's definitely fantasy (with dragons) and there is definitely romance. I started at the end of January. The word count just passed 32,000, which is a lot more than I've done on anything else in such a relatively short period of time! I know, I used to write that much in a single month, but since 2016, not so much. I'm planning to put a sneak peek of it on my Patreon on June 1st, for paying patrons only. (So if you'd like to take a gander, and you're not already a member at the $2 level or above, now would be a great time to do that...) Among the tropes that have fallen into this one like dominoes into a wicked cauldron of twisted eroticism: - love-hate triangle (that's like a love triangle... except they all hate each other) - enemies to lovers - palace intrigue - telepathic bonding with dragons (eventually) - dragon breeding - royal companions - third-gender dragons (and people) - one person's poison is another's medicine - masochistic gladiators - everyone's probably bi - did I mention dragons? No book recommendations this month... Because ALLLLLLLL of my reading time is going into proofreading Daron. But I did just bring home a haul of books that includes Justinian Huang and Olivie Blake... so maybe by next month I'll be able to recommend one of those...? Con Report: RomCon at the Ashland Library This past Saturday was the annual romance celebration at the Ashland Public library, with panels and autographing all day. It was really fun to catch up with some writers I haven't seen in a long time, like Loretta Chase and Caroline Linden, whom I used to cross paths with regularly at NERW and RWA, but also to meet some new folks! Unfortunately Kosoko Jackson had a family emergency come up in the morning and could not make it. He and I did a virtual Romance Bookstore Day event back in 2022 so I had been looking forward to meeting him for real! Oh well. It was fun to talk to Kathryn Ann Kingsley who writes "villain" romance (The Unseelie Prince), Jessica Martin who writes small-town with a Shakespearean twist, and Kate Canterbary who puts a high spice factor into contemporary series set in Rhode Island. I also got to briefly say hi to Tori Anne Martin who has a sapphic witch romance out now entitled This Spells Disaster. Head organizer Meena Jain says they'll be doing it again next year, so keep an eye out! Me with Kathryn Ann Kingsley, who came to my rescue when I had brought gun to a knife fight, I mean, a pencil to an autographing. With Meena Jain, the delightful organizer of the event in Ashland. Kate Canterbary (In a Jam), Cecilia Tan, and Jessica Martin (For the Love of the Bard) about the speak on a panel on contemporary romance at the Ashland Public Library. A Recipe: Kaddo Bowrani One of my favorite recipes from the internet used to reside on the Chowhound boards, but of course Chowhound was recently shut down, then sold and restored, except the bulletin boards no longer appear to exist. But fortunately, my favorite recipe was also several other nerds' favorite, and copies of it exist, including here and here. The recipe is for the Afghan national dish, Kaddo Bowrani, which is on the menu at the Helmand restaurant(s) here in Cambridge and in San Francisco. Imagine a bed of basmati rice topped by a layer of deliciously caramelized roasted pumpkin, topped by a rich and tomatoey ground beef sauce (or "impossible meat" for vegetarians), which is itself topped by a dollop of garlic-yogurt. Yum. The thing that has always kind of weirded me out about the recipe is that everyone on the internet seems to make it with "pumpkin," and they use the common October "sugar pumpkin." Far as I can tell from grilling the waiter at the Helmand restaurant here in Cambridge, this is not at all the "pumpkin" they use. The vegetable used by the restaurant is much more like a Kabocha than like an American, thin-walled sugar pumpkin. When we started getting a farm share many years ago and rather large kabocha were showing up on a regular basis, I started making this recipe with it, and it is nothing less that carotene-laden deliciousness. So my first tip is don't use sugar pumpkin, use kabocha. My second tip if you are using kabocha, is that you DO NOT actually need the full quarter cup of sugar that the original poster insists on. Two tablespoons is great. My third tip is do NOT overdo the garlic. One clove and one only. If you want to snazz up the yogurt sauce more, sprinkle it artistically with paprika. Final tip: you can make basmati rice in the rice cooker, but cut down the water and toss in two pats of butter. One Featured Backlist Book Mind Games A Paranormal Erotic Thriller PB $14.95, Ebook $3.99 Bookshop • Amazon • Audiobook on Everand • This was the very first romance I wrote back in 2009! It was put out by to a "digital first" publisher and got really excellent reviews from the romance blogosphere (back when people read blogs). That publisher went under a few years later so I republished it myself. I brought a few copies with me to Ashland and they all sold! So I thought, hey, maybe this book is worth reminding folks about. What happens when your stalker can enter your dreams? Ever since she foresaw the death of her parents, Wren has suppressed her latent psychic abilities. Avoiding strong emotions, Wren leads a placid but lonely life until her quiet is shattered by her sister Abby going missing... and the private investigator searching for her. Derek Chapman isn't what Wren expects. He's young, handsome, and immediately protective of her. Wren is attracted to him right away, but fears that deepening any connection with Derek-emotional, spiritual, or sexual-will open the floodgates locked in her mind. A mystery man appears in Wren's dreams, dealing pain and pleasure. Is Wren's subconscious warning her away from Derek, or longing for him? When the search for Abby leads to a secret sex club, it seems fate is pulling Wren into Derek's arms, whether she is ready or not. ------------ Okay, that's it for this month. Next month I'll let you know how the Nebulas conference in Pasadena went! And, no really, I'm getting some stuff ready to serialize on the Patreon. I just have to get this proofreading done first! -ctan Read the full article

#auroraborealis

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cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien · 1 year ago

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I am officially back with some big surprise for you guys

I have came up with the perfect comic cover ideas for the upcoming Mighty Solars fanfic stories coming soon, except one is done which is Taken Away from Me, something you guys might find being enjoyable to do someday:

So here are the Solar Opposites: Mighty Solars comic ideas:

Issue #1- “A Mighty Solar”: On the top, it shows five shaded silhouettes of the five Mighty Solars Qausarblast, Mighton, Vil-Gil-An-T, Fung-irl and the Mighty Pupa while the bottom shows Korvo courageously getting out his lethal force sword while being a foggy setting with clouds surrounding him.

Issue #2- “Quasarblast Rises”: Korvo transforming into Qausarblast for the first time with a serious look on his face while the background shows lecture light aquamarine lightening sparks.

Issue #3- “Nice to Do Things as a Family”: Korvo as Qausarblast coming home tiredly with groceries in his hands while Terry was looking at him confused, Yumyulack and Jesse were playing laser tag, Pupa was playing with his baby toys and Phoebe was vacuuming the floor while she is humming lovely tune.

Issue #4- “Fighting for Family”: Terry, Yumyulack, Jesse and Pupa cheering for Qausarblast fighting a bad guy on the news on TV with Phoebe also watching the news, smiling.

Issue #5- “Alien’s Night Out”: Located at a block party with Korvo blushing while looking at Terry enjoying the party with a pair of red eyes looking at them far away.

Issue #6- “Nightmare Part. 1”: Qausarblast looking around curiously in a dark foggy giant spider webbed area.

Issue #7- “Nightmare Part. 2”: Terry gooblering and whimpering in his sleep since he is having a nightmare as the bedroom becomes foggy and it shows the shadow of Platinum Belt looming and watching over him evilly above the wall.

Issue #8- “Love, Loss and Double Cross Part. 1”: Terry puts his hands on his head and screams in pain, while a giant version of Sarah possessed by Platinum Belt is shown above trying to control his mind.

Issue #9- “Love, Loss and Double across Part. 2”: Qausarblast crying over Terry as he holds his mind-raped husband as Terry’s eyes are still open and glowing white while Platinum Sarah prepares to attack from behind to attack him. Inspired by this: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/powerrangers/images/d/d9/MMPR_Issue_26_Final_Cover.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180412102509

Issue #10- “Mighton’s Requiem”: Terry painfully transforms into Mighton for the first time as he screams in fury, but it’s not monstrous. Just normal superhero transformation. Inspired by this: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/2/21/StH_265_Cover.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20190727210042

Issue #11- “My Hero”: Qausarblast and Mighton staring lovingly and smiling at each other in this My Chemical Romance-style cover, inspired by this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Cheers_for_Sweet_Revenge#/media/File:Three_Cheers_for_Sweet_Revenge.png

Issue #12- “Trouble in the City”: Qausarblast and Mighton looking around the city for any trouble in sight, while green slime is oozing from their mouths and their bellies swelling up.

Issue #13- “Knothole Fury”: The Solar Opposites and Phoebe, while wearing their pajamas, looking worriedly at a giant fortress with a giant fence over it.

Issue #14- “Fight Night”: Yumyulack, with a black eye, walking through the lockers as his normal grumpy self with torn up posters of a resistance that is falling apart is shown.

Issue #15- “Pride Goes Before the- AAAAAHHHHHH”: Yumyulack screaming as his eyes started to shoot laser beams out of it for the first time as Jesse and the school kids watch in fear.

Issue #16- “Losing Yumyulack”: Yumyulack, wearing a backpack full of his favorite things for a bounty hunter himself, is tearfully looking back at his family’s house while Qausarblast and Mighton watch from up on the house roof, worriedly.

Issue #17- “End of the Dance Line”: Yumyulack as Vil-Gil-An-T watching Mark, from outside far of the window, lovingly.

Issue #18- “Hunt Off”: Qausarblast, Mighton and Vil-Gil-An-T hiding from behind the cough as the female bounty hunter villain starts looking for him.

Issue #19- “Darkness Falls”: The nine possessed monsters as shadows watching over Earth-4 as the bottom shows Jesse walking with Monica while laughing with her like besties do.

Issue #20- “Cheer Up Jesse”: Jesse crying on her bed with her family and Phoebe comforting her as the background shows fungus flowers growing on Jesse’s bed stool.

Issue #21- “Just Have a Little Fung-Irl”: Jesse transforms into Fung-irl for the first time as she soars happily while growing a fungus from her hand.

Issue #22- “Who’s That Girl”: Jesse hiding from behind the school door which shows a teenage villainess mind controlling Monica and the rest of their classmates as her pink eye glowing zombies.

Issue #23- “Little Pupa Lost”: The Solar Opposites desperately looking for Pupa. The expressions on the family shows Korvo hugging Terry in worriedness while Terry is crying, Yumyulack is desperately putting up “Missing Pupa” posters and Jesse keeps calling out for the Pupa tearfully.

Issue #24- “The Mighty Pupa”: The Mighty Solars hugging the Mighty Pupa in joy.

Issue #25- “The Misadventures of Pupa”- The Mighty Pupa standing up to a candy-themed villain holding Sherbert hostage.

Issue #26- “That’s A Kid Thing”: Qausarblast and Mighton tied up and gagged at the upper shaded part while the bottom shows Vil-Gil-An-T, Fung-irl and Mighty Pupa ready for action.

Issue #27- “Rock Fraud”: A rock n roll villain taking Mighton’s voice away with a voice sucker.

Issue #28- “A Horrifying and Fucked Up Betrayal”: Phoebe enraged by Brea’s betrayal after she knock out Korvo and Terry on the floor.

Issue #29- “Starburst Rises' ': Phoebe turning into Staburst for the first time while doing a Wonder Woman stand.

Issue #30- “Fantasies Are Just Fiction”: A young woman and robot looking at a crystal ball that shows an image of Qausarblast sleeping in a meadow full of flowers and grass.

Issue #31- “Aliens vs. Robots”: Yumyulack and Jesse exchanging nervous awkward looks at each other after the robot beats up some schoolmates of theirs while Principal Cooke and Miss Frankie hid behind them.

Issue #32- “Taken Away from Me”: Already Done

Issue #33- “Lifeline”: Monica transforming into Lightspeed as she uses her super speed while the citizens watches her in confusion

Issue #34- “Creature of the Dark Water”: Nova getting taken by a monstrous scaly black blue hand into the dark indigo river at a dark swamp as she screams in terror while Korvo. Terry and Phoebe with Cherie, who is holding Pezlie in her arms, and Montez watches in horror from behind the trees.

I hope you guys love these comic cover ideas, you guys can choose each one that you want, except for Issue #32 which has already been done by someone. But, please take your time because I know how much some of you guys have college and other stuff to work on, and I want to be mindful. Like I say, it’s free to make these covers! But I want to be mindful and wait for that to happen, because I want to you guys to continue your works too. So, please let me know when you have gotten started on a comic cover, and if you enjoyed it. I am so glad to be back with you guys! I love you all so much! 💕 so let me know when you have gotten started on a comic cover idea that you like from there. Love ya! Solar Opposite for life! 🩵🧡💜🩷💚

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headmistressdelecaille · 1 year ago

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ALE BOLIVAR VICENTE SANCHEZ'S OFF-CAMPUS HOME

A villa on two acres of private property, including a stretch of private beach. The property is clearly owned by someone serious about security, judging by the privacy fence that surrounds the land on all sides but the beachfront and the biometric scanner at the only gate. Much of the land is allowed to grow wild and natural, with only the area directly around the house cut back, the landscaping artfully blending into its surroundings. The home itself is simple, natural, and modern. Slide-away glass walls provide access to open air, while teak panels wrap the second story in airy balconies. Portholes look out on a pergola-covered terrace with living and dining areas, as well as a pool. The space is comfortable, but practical and utilitarian. The master bedroom is distinguishable from the other four only by its king-size bed, and the only nods to entertainment besides the pool are a fully restored 1927 Steinway Model L piano, and a single magically enhanced glass wall in the living area which can be converted into a television screen at the touch of a button. Though the house is simple and almost technophobic in some ways–all rooms but the bedrooms forgo air-conditioning in favor of large ceiling fans, for example–all of the lights and appliances in the home are wired into a single, custom smart house system. A spiral staircase provides access to the roof, which is home to several solar panels on one side and a small roof-top garden on the other.

WHY DID YOUR MUSE CHOOSE THIS HOME?:

Ale had never even considered moving out of the suites before the island was attacked. Everything he owned on the island was lost in the destruction of the dormitory building. This wasn’t a particularly meaningful loss emotionally or financially–Ale is a very rich man who stores his significant possessions very securely, after losing centuries of his life because he was careless–but it annoyed him, and while he is suitably impressed with the new headmistress and her ability to secure the island, he’s decided he’d feel better adding his own security on top of hers if he’s going to make this island his home. He chose to build on private land in North Shore mostly because he values his privacy and his peace; the out of the way location and security make it unlikely he’ll be disturbed, and the untamed portion of the land allows him room to run in fox form.

PURCHASE OR RENTAL: Purchase NUMBER OF BEDS & BATHS: 5 beds, 5 and a half baths LOCATION: North Shore OCCUPANTS: Ale Bolivar, his cat, and any future claims

#residences !#ale bolivar vicente sanchez

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bamby0304 · 2 years ago

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Victoria Grimes VIII: War

Ch.10: Up in Flames

Series Masterlist

Summary: Daryl and Victoria have worked through her mistakes made at the Sanctuary and have decided to keep the truth between themselves. But with the war between their communities and the Saviours brewing, their bond will be tested all over again. Lies, death and the threat of defeat are coming for Vickie… will she be strong enough to come through in one piece?

Warnings: Angst. Violence. Death.

Bamby

NPOV

I jumped out of the truck and took in the sight of Alexandria as it burnt to the ground. My people had been making quick work, blowing up every thing and every building I had ordered them to. Anyone they found was to be brought to me, however I got the feeling they weren’t going to find anyone. Not after the convoy had left.

“Well, shit. We coulda used those. Solar panels.” I shook my head with a sigh as they burned away. “That convoy, they got away, huh? All of 'em? Kid's still gotta be here. I think he wanted to go down with the ship.”

The way he’d been talking… I wasn’t wrong when I said he wasn’t lying. The kid was ready to die. Didn’t want to, not saying that, but he sure as shit was as ready as I’ve ever seen.

“Search the place,” I ordered. “Find him, tie him up. Don't kill him. Blow up every other house. I'm gonna go to Rick's, make a little spaghetti. When he shows up, send him my way.” Swinging Lucille onto my shoulder, I headed up the road, whistling a tune.

MPOV

I slammed the car door as it came to a stop at the Hilltop and stormed towards the prisoners. I’d barely slowed down before Gregory hurried to the fence as I stopped.

“Margaret, I- I understand you putting me in here. Message received, but - you know I don't belong in here.”

“Shut up.” I scanned the group of people we’d gathered inside. The Saviours.

“What happened out there?” Kal asked from behind me.

Instead of answering I pointed to one of the Saviours. “That one. Get him out.”

Gregory was in disbelief. “He gets out?”

“Maggie, what are you doing?”

I didn’t respond to Jesus as I watched as two of our people walked in and gathered the man I’d chosen. I remembered him. Tara had told me about him.

“Kal, I need your gun.” Once it was in my hand the Saviour stood in front of me. I glanced at Jesus. “This one tried to kill you.”

“Maggie, you don't wanna do this.” It was the Saviour who had thanked me for sparing them. He seemed to be the only one with his head screwed on, but that wasn’t going to save them.

“Shut up, Al!” the one in front of me snapped. “If Cupcake wants to put on a show, let her put on a show.”

Without warning, I lifted Kal’s gun, aimed, and fired. The Saviour in front of me was now dead on the ground.

My eyes landed on the one they called Al. “You wanna be next?”

He stepped back, shaking his head. “No, I don't.”

Lowering the gun, I turned to my people. “Saviours killed one of our own tonight on the road. We aren't even, but that was a start.

“Maggie-”

I cut Jesus off, “Get more guards on duty. Start fortifying the walls and bury Neil. First light, everybody else starts tending crops.”

“I thought we don't give up.”

“No, we don't. Simon said the others are under attack, which means there's no more supplies going in, but there might be people. We have to be ready. Gonna be up to Hilltop to make the last stand.”

…

After everyone was caught up on the plan and what had happened, I organised what to do with the body of the Saviour I’d killed.

It was put in the box. The one that had been meant for me, and then Neil. I’d lied though. He was never going to be buried in it. No, I’d always planned to use it to send a message.

Pulling back from the box, I looked down at the message I’d left on the nailed down lid.]

We have 38 more. Stand down.

“Leave it where they'll find it,” I told Eduardo and Kal, trusting they’d know what to do, before I headed back inside. There was a lot more work to do… it was going to be a long night.

DPOV

Alexandria was on flames. Explosions were still going off as the Saviours destroyed the place we called home. I barely gave it a second glance, though. Vic was right, it was just a place and that meant it was replaceable. Right now I just needed to know our family was safe. Our people. Especially the kids.

Sliding open the manhole outside the gates, I grabbed a rock and dropped it into the sewers before pausing, listening for any walkers. Looking up, I shook my head as Vic.

“Okay,” she turned to Tara, “go.”

One by one, we all headed down into the underground tunnels. Tara first, then Rosita. Dwight apologised to Michonne as she stared wide eyed at our community and the flames.

“Go,” I grunted, grabbing Dwight and pushing him towards the manhole.

He did as he was told, heading down to join the others and find our people amongst the maze under our town.

Once Dwight was out of the way I started down the ladder after him, watching as Vic got ready to then follow me. She was just a few steps above when she suddenly paused.

“Michonne? What are you-”

The sound of the manhole closing cut her off.

“No!” She slammed her hand on the heavy cast-iron lid, but it didn’t budge as something heavy was dragged on top of it. “No! Michonne!” Panicked, on the verge of tears, she looked down at me. “She’s gone.”

RPOV

Our walls were down. Alexandria was on flames. I hadn’t seen a single soul. Things had gone bad, and no I had no idea where my people were. When my family was. My kids.

“Carl,” I whispered into the dark as I crept into our home from the back. “Judith. Alyssa.” There was no answer. “Victoria. Michonne.”

As I rounded the corner my gun was knocked out of my hands before I was kicked to the ground.

Negan stood over me. “This shit isn't funny anymore.” Stepping forward, he kicked at me again. I groaned at the pain, crawling back. “Don't make me do this now, Rick.” Leaning over me, he pulled my weapons out from my belt and threw them across the room. “I got plans for you. Cut you up in little bitty pieces, feed you to the dead, and make you watch.”

He pulled Lucille back, getting ready to swing. Moving quickly, I rolled out of the way before she came down on the ground where I’d been seconds before.

“Then, when you're some sort of screwed-up, creepy stump with a head,” he continued as I got to my feet, “that's when I'm gonna kill you.”

I didn’t get as much warning this time before he swung Lucille out again. She hit my stomach, knocking the wind out of me as I crumbled back down to the ground.

“In front of everybody.” He grinned down at me.

“You ever shut the hell up?” I groaned, using the dining table to pull myself to my feet.

“Nope!” He laughed, bringing the butt of his bat down on me. “You know your kid volunteered to die? What kind of boy you raise, Rick? I'm gonna fix him. 'Cause I like him. A few years, he's gonna be one of my top guys!”

He went to swing her again but I moved first, punching him the face first. He lowered Lucille, giving me a moment to get in a few more hits before he started to fight back. We were closely matched on a good day, but I was injured. Even still, I wasn’t going down easy.

Pulling back he pushed me away and into shelves that fell under the force of the shove, sending me to the ground with them.

Scoffing, he stepped forward. “When I am done with you, nobody will ever try to do what you did. Not ever again! Not your friends, not your son-”

Not shutting up was his downfall.

While he’d been going on and on with his speech, I’d been feeling around for a weapon. That how I managed to find and grab a paperweight. Getting a good grip on it, I swung around and hit him square in the jaw. He fell with a heavy thud, giving me time to get the upper hand.

Snatching Lucille from the ground, I leaned over him and used the butt of the bat and hit him over and over like he’d hit me.

“Don't you touch her!” he yelled before kicking out and pushing me away.

As I tried to regain my balance, he managed to get himself to his feet. I didn’t have a chance before he charged forward, sending us straight out the window.

This time I recovered first, and this time I didn’t fight. I ran. I needed to find my family.

…

Running between houses, trying to stay unnoticed, I kept any eye out for anyone who might be alive. At the same time I kept pressure on my ribs, trying not to think about how they might be broken again. Negan had done a number on me but I couldn’t let that stop me.

The sound of a commotion and a woman grunting had me turning a corner. It was Michonne, standing over a Saviour she no doubt took down.

“Michonne!” I ran to her, grabbing her arm. She jumped, ready to attack until she realised it was me.

Tears ran down her cheeks as I brought my hand up to cup her face. She looked broken and lost. I just hoped that wasn’t because we’d lost everyone. We couldn’t be the last ones left.

“Where are they?”

“Oh God.” She took a moment to catch her breath before grabbing my hand and leading me away.

…

We found our people. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing them huddled in the tunnels of our underground sewers. They were safe.

At least that’s what I first thought.

Looking down the tunnel, I could feel something was wrong. At the end I could see Daryl, holding Vickie to his chest as she buried her face against him. Somehow, they’d managed to get Houdini down here and now he was laying at the feet of Tara who held Judith in her arms while Aly held onto her leg, softly sobbing.

The explosions continued above us as I walked through the crowd, heading to the end of the tunnel. That’s where I found Carl.

He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, pale as a ghost. Beside him knelt the guy I’d scared off before. It appeared as if he was taking care of Carl.

“I brought him here,” Carl started, drawing my attention back to him. “That's how it happened.” He pulled away the bandage on his side.

My throat tightened as I took in the wound. The bite mark.

I fell to my knees. “I-I don't-”

“Dad.”

“How-”

“Dad,” he cut me off, “it's all right. It's gotta be. I wasn't sure if you'd make it back before… but just in case, you know I wanted to make sure I was able to say goodbye.” He pulled some letters out from his pocket.

The explosions above us had me look up. My mind was reeling too much for me to really think, but all I knew was that I wanted to place the blame on something. On someone.

“It's them. It's them. They- they don't- it wasn't-”

“Carl.” Michonne was crying as she came to kneel on his other side.

Sobs had me looking up as I watched Vickie clinging to Daryl as he held. Her whole body shook as she fought to stay silent, not wanting to catch the attention of our enemies above.

Everything was wrong.

“No.” I shook my head. “No.”

Carl sighed, “I got bit. I was bringing someone back.” My attention turned to the newcomer, causing Carl to go on. “His name's Siddiq. We saw him at that gas station, before.” In shock, I looked back to my son. “It wasn't the Saviours. It just happened. I got bit.”

VPOV

The tears wouldn’t stop. I was quiet now as I stood with my husband, who was now holding our daughter. She was crying against him, understanding things without really knowing what was going on. She understood we were in danger, we were hiding, the bad people were destroying our homes and looking for us. She understood that Carl had been bitten.

I’d felt pain before. I’d felt a world of pain and more. Physical, mental, emotional, I’d felt so much… too much. But none of it felt like this.

Carl had been bitten. Carl was going to die, and then he was going to turn.

Michonne helped him on to the foldable bed he’d brought down for Siddiq, the guy he’d helped. “Is that better?” she asked.

Out of breath, Carl nodded as best as he could. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Siddiq stepped forward then, offering some medication. “I, um, I got these. They're over-the-counter, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories. They'll, um… they'll help a little with the fever. They did for my mum and dad. Please take them. Your son… he should have them.”

Dad stared at the pills. “You're a doctor?”

“I was a resident before. Yeah.”

“Your name is Siddiq?”

“Yes.”

Dad turned back to Carl. “Did you know he was a doctor? Is that why you brought him back?”

My heart broke even more. He was doing everything he could to rationalise why Carl would have put himself in danger. Why he would have snuck out to help someone who could have put everyone else at risk. Dad needed things to make sense in order to accept and understand as best as he could. Unfortunately, Carl didn’t have the answers Dad was expecting.

“He wasn't gonna make it alone. He needed us. That's why,” Carl explained.

Slowly, Dad nodded. “He was the one at the gas station.”

An explosion above us went off, shaking the tunnels. Carl erupted in a fit of coughs, sitting up quickly as he struggled to catch his breath.

I pushed away from Daryl, hurrying over to grab my brother. My baby brother.

“Careful.’ Gently, I set him back down as I looked over my shoulder. “Get me water.” Michonne was quick, handing me a bottle. “Thanks.” I offered her a gentle smile before turning back to Carl. “Sip this.”

“Easy.” Dad leaned in, watching Carl. “You got it? Slowly, slowly.”

The two of us were focused on Carl, trying our best to ignore the commotion above ground. It suddenly felt as if it wasn’t going to stop as more explosions went off.

Michonne pushed herself to her feet suddenly, storming over to Dwight. “Make it stop. Make them stop!”

He simply shook his head at her. “I can't.”

“You can,” she argued, shoving him against the wall. “You're one of them. They'll listen to you. Please. Please!” she begged.

“You said that Hilltop's safe, right?” Rosita asked, causing me to look over at her as she looked at Dwight.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“We need to get everybody there.” Her eyes met mine. “We can get Carl there.”

“And they think all of you got away in the woods. They're out there, looking.”

Tara stood, agreeing with Rosita. “They saw us go west, so we won't go west.”

Dwight wasn’t seeing it, though. “Your best chance is to stay here until they're gone.”

“No.” Wiping away at my tears, I stood tall as I turned to my people. “Staying here means they can find us, and then we’re all dead. Heading to the Hilltop is our best bet.”

“They're almost done,” Dwight countered. “They gotta be. It wasn't about destroying the place. They don't have the ammo for that. After they let up, after they're gone, that's when we go.”

It wasn’t ideal. I knew I couldn’t be the only one wondering how much time we had before it would be too late to take Carl. But our options were limited, and as much as I wanted to protect my brother, I had to keep in mind that there were others that needed protecting, too.

Rosita shrugged. “Okay. We wait.”

“You sure going to Hilltop's the best plan?” Dwight asked.

“You got a better one?”

“All of you in one place, together…”

Daryl nodded. “All of us together… we'll be their worst damn nightmare.”

RPOV

I watched as Michonne took care of Carl. She watched him, like a mother. She never replaced Lori, but she was good to my kids. I knew this was hurting her, too.

“You left. You were supposed to be resting.”

Michonne smiled down at him. “I'm not tired.”

He chuckled lightly. “Yeah. You look great.”

I wiped away my tears as Vickie leaned her head against me while we sat on the ground against the wall. We were watching, unable to do anything other than wait.

Carl grew serious as he whispered something to Michonne I didn’t catch.

My attention was caught by Scott as he spoke up, “Sounds like they're letting up.”

It was only then that I realised the noises from above ground had lessened. They’d been drowned out by my reeling thoughts long ago as my brain tried to get a grasp on what was happening. I tried to think of a way to fix it all, but everything I considered I knew would fail.

There was no coming back from a bite from a walker.

Rosita nodded, looking up at the roof of the tunnel that stood just a couple of feet above us. “Looks like you were right. They're leaving.”

“Maybe.” Daryl turned to me. “Want me to go take a look?”

I nodded without saying a word.

He stepped up to Vickie and me, handing my granddaughter over to my daughter. He pressed a kiss to Vickie’s head and whispered something before heading down the tunnel to go check if the coast was really clear.

Turning back to Carl, I watched him, hoping we hadn’t left it too long.

VPOV

Daryl stepped up to me as I stood with Judith in my arms, rocking her back and forth. Aly was sitting by my feet, with Houdini, clutching her stuffed deer to her chest.

“They’re gone.”

I nodded, clutching my sister to me a little harder. Daryl took notice in the change, stepping closer to pull my head to his shoulder. My chest and throat ached from repressed tears. I couldn’t let myself cry anymore. I wouldn’t let myself.

“The Saviours are gone,” Michonne told Dad. “We can get everyone to Hilltop. We can get Carl there.”

“Carl?” Dad shook his head. “No.”

Something inside me broke.

“Daryl can get one of the cars,” Michonne suggested.

But Dad was adamant. “Carl won't make. He can't leave here. I have to stay with him.”

My grip on Judith slipped.

Daryl was quick to grab her as I reached for the wall to hold me up. I’d been holding onto the idea of taking Carl to the Hilltop. I wanted to make things easier for him. Give him pain meds, a soft bed, surround him with everyone he loved.

It couldn’t end like this. Not with him in the tunnels of the sewers under our fallen home. Not without everyone who cared for him.

“He can't.” Dad shook his head. “I have to stay.”

Understanding, Michonne nodded. “We'll both stay.”

Dad turned to me then. “Will you- will you take Judith? She needs to be there.”

A sob broke through my lips. “You can’t… you can’t ask me to do this,” I cried. “I can’t leave him. I can’t… I can’t-”

He grabbed me, keeping me from falling. “You have to go. You have to be there for your daughter. For Judith. If anything-” His voice broke. “If… happens-”

Daryl was next to us then, grabbing Dad’s shoulder with his free hand. “I'll take ‘em. I'll get ‘em there. I'll keep ‘em safe. I got this.”

“Let me say goodbye,” Carl voice croaked.

I watched as Daryl took Judith over to him, setting her right by the edge of Carl’s bed. Aly scurried over, grabbing Judith’s hand as Houdini whined where he lay.

Carl smiled at the two little girls. “You be good, okay?” His gaze focussed on our sister. “You be good for Michonne. For dad. You gotta honour him. Listen when he tells you stuff. You don't have to always. Sometimes, kids got to show their parents the way.”

Judith let out a sound that broke my heart all over again at the same time Aly wrapped her arms around my baby sister.

“You do me a favour?” Car started, making Aly pull back and look at him again. She nodded, wiping away tears with the back of her hand. “I need you to take care of your mum,” he told her. “Need to you make sure she’s okay. Cause I know she’s strong and tough, but… but sometimes she needs someone to be strong and tough for her. Think you can do that?”

Aly suddenly wrapped her arms around Carl’s neck as she cried. “I love you, Uncle Carl.”

That’s when I crumbled. I fell to the ground as I watched my daughter say goodbye to my brother.

When she pulled back, he took his hat off and gave it one last look over before putting it on Judith’s head. “This was dad's before it was mine. Now it's yours. I don't know… just- just having it and… it always kept Dad with me. It made me feel as strong as him. It helped me. Maybe it'll help you, too. Before Mum died, she told me that I was gonna beat this world. I didn't. But you will. I know you will.”

Judith started crying then, the sound echoing off the walls.

“Here we go.” Daryl picked her up and set her on his hip while he grabbed Aly’s hand with his free one. His set his eyes on my brother then, a sad but proud look in his eyes. “These people. You saved them all. That's all you, man.”

“Take care of my sisters.”

Daryl nodded. “I will. I promise.”

As Daryl stepped back, Carl then turned to me. Tears streamed down my face as I pushed myself up, only to drop by his bed. I looked down at him as he grew more and more pale and sickly by the minute.

“I feel like I failed you,” I cried. “You’re my baby brother. I’m supposed to protect you.”

“Can’t protect me forever.”

I met his gaze then. “You didn’t tell me. All day… you didn’t tell me.”

“I’m sorry. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to worry you.” Grabbing my hand, he gave it a squeeze. “Everything else I said was true. Mum really would be proud of you. I know I am.”

The dam broke inside me as I wailed, my head dropping to his chest as I cried my heart out.

“Come on, Vic. We gotta go.” Daryl’s hand landed on my chest. “We gotta go.”

Tara and Sasha helped me to my feet, holding me as I grew limp, unable to stop crying. I didn’t fight as I was led away from my brother. I didn’t have it in me to struggle. All I could do was cry, knowing I was never going to see my brother again.

CPOV

Seeing Vickie broke my heart. Watching as she had to be practically carried out of the tunnels… it hurt worse than the disease eating away at me.

“You were helping me honour my Mum…”

I looked to Siddiq, fighting the urge to cry. “Not just yours. Mine, too.”

“You brought me here. You gave me a chance. I know I can never repay you. But I can honour you by showing your people, your f-friends, your- your family that what you did wasn't for nothing. That it mattered. That it- That it meant something. Because it did. So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna honour you, Carl.”

I reached out, offering him my hand. He took it, holding it carefully as I smiled up at him. “Congratulations. You're stuck with us.”

Whether anyone else liked it or not, he was now family. I was just happy he got to be part of mine before I died.

RPOV

Michonne and I were doing everything we could to make sure Carl was as comfortable as possible. It pained me, but I knew I had to stay strong for him. If I was being honest, the only thing getting me through it all was my shock.

I wanted to best for him. I always had and I always will.

Looking around the tunnels, I shook my head and turned to Michonne. “I need your help.”

“With what?”

“Getting him out of here.”

He might not be able to make it to the Hilltop, but I wasn’t letting him die in the sewers.

…

With one of Carl’s arms over my shoulders and his other over Michonne’s we carried him through Alexandria, trying to find any place we could set him down. I wanted to find a working car as we could get him away from the fire, but I had a feeling there weren’t going to be any left.

Instead, we’d take him home. He’d be more comfortable at home.

“We need to stop.”

“The house up ahead,” I grunted, moving as quickly but also as carefully as I could. We can make it.”

Carl shook his head. “It's okay. Just put me down here. It's okay.”

“No. We'll make it.”

“Please.” At the sound of him begging, I stopped.

He was in pain. He didn’t have much time left. As much as I wanted to take him home, I realised I needed to listen to him. He couldn’t make it, so I couldn’t force him.

“There.” Michonne gestured to the church.

It had mostly burned down but it was still standing. The flames had died, leaving it somewhat safe. While it wasn’t home, or comfortable, it was better than being in the sewers or out in the open.

With another grunt, I turned towards the church and started for it.

Once inside, Michonne and I took him to the alter and set him down on the ground where there was minimal dirt and rubble. We were gentle and careful, making sure we didn’t cause him anymore pain than he was already in.

“Thanks for- for getting me here,” he breathed heavily.

“I'm- I'm sorry. I-I just I didn't I didn't want you out there. I-I-”

“No. No for getting me here. For- For making it so I could be who- who I wound up.” He paused, looking away before meeting my gaze again. “Back at the prison when we got attacked… there was a kid, a little older than me. He had a gun. He was- He was starting to put it down, and I-I sh… I shot him. He was- He was giving it up, and I- I just I shot him. I think about him. What I did to him and how- how easy it was to just kill him.”

I shook my head. “Carl, no. No. What happened what you'd lost- all those things you had to- all those things you had to do. You- you- you- you were just- you were just a boy.”

“And you saw it. What it did… how- how easy it got,” he told me. “That's why you changed. Why you brought those people from Woodbury in. You brought them in, and we all lived together. We were enemies. You put away your gun. You did it so I could change, so I could be who I am now. What you did then… how you- how you stopped fighting… it was right. It still is. It can be like that again. You can still be like that again.”

He was wrong. “I can't be who I was. It's different now.”

“You can't kill all of 'em, Dad. There's gotta be something after. For you and for them. There's gotta be something after. I know you can't see it yet… how it could be. But I have. You have a beard. It's- It's bigger and greyer. Michonne's happy. Judith is older, and she's listening to the songs that I used to before. Vickie has a family of her own- kids of her own. Alexandria's bigger. There's- there's new houses, crops and people working. Everybody living helping everybody else live. If you can still be who you were that's how it could be. It could.”

“Carl. It was all for you. Right from the start. Back in Atlanta, the farm… everything I did, it was for you and Victoria. Then, at the prison, it was for you and your sisters. It still is. It's gonna be. And nothing, nothing is gonna change that.”

“I want this for you, Dad.”

He needed this. My son was dying in front of me, asking me for this one favour. It felt impossible, but it was his last wish. His dying wish.

“I'm gonna make it real, Carl.” I nodded, feeling tears fall from my face. “I promise. I'm gonna make it real.”

My boy. My baby boy…

“Carl I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. A father's job is to protect his son.”

“Love,” he corrected. “It's just to love.”

I watched as he then pulled out his gun. “No. No.”

Michonne could barely form a sentence as she cried, “Carl. It- It- It- It should be-”

He nodded. “I know. I know. Somebody you love. When you can't do it yourself. But I still can. I grew up. I have to do this. Me.” He cried then, looking up at her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He then turned to me. “I love you, dad.”

I choked on my sobs, looking down at my son as he held a gun to his head. “I love you, Carl. I love you so much. I'll make it real. I will. I will.”

Michonne helped me to my feet then, walking us away. She knew he wouldn’t want us to see this. Me to see this.

I stood outside on the porch of the church, when I heard the sound of his gun going off.

Carl was dead. My son. My boy. He was gone.

Bamby

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