#Socrates!Update
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A spider crawled across my desk. So I told him sternly, "Hey, this is private property."
He didn't stop. Climbing over my limp hand on my mouse to get to the other side.
Like hello?? My good sir, my molars are bigger than you. What do you think you are doing????
I guess he was a real New York spider. He's walking here and can not be stopped.
#spiders#why do you do this#don't you know i am giant#I might as well be an eldritch god#compared to one and yet#they still walk all over me#Socrates!Update
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I'm OBSESSED with My Thesis Is A Demigod. Thank you for feeding us moon lesbian fans do well!!! Do you have a favourite between the two moon lesbians or are they equally amazing to you?
Aaaa tyty I'm so glad you're enjoying the gay shenanigans :D
And I want you to know I thought long and hard about this and concluded there is no way to pick a favourite, they're a package deal! Each with their own massive long list of things I love about them and I could write an essay on this but I'll spare everyone from my own thesis on these two :DD
(though if you'd have asked me a couple months ago, I'd have said Aylin because I'm weak for buff woman with sword oops)
And obviously I have to ask it right back. Do you have a fave??
#asking the real questions here#i hit the socrates thinking pose to fully consider this ask#speaking of fanfic i promise the update is coming but i feel like im writing at snails pace recently 😭
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Tbh I kindof hope they don't go in the white lily / dark enchantress redemption route but that's probably what they're gonna do
#like I’ll hold out and see what they do cause#they’ve been building this story up fairly well#I feel like a redemption arc would just kinda ruin what they’ve established? I guess?#but I’ll see.#worst case I can just rewrite it myself#lol#🍪#I can already tell pure vanilla is gonna do more stupid things this update and I’m afraid forbhim#YO SOCRATES ITS A COOKIE
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CREATURE HAS BEEN DRAWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️
New Invention by IDKHOW is so good btw listen to it immediately. I'll eat you.
#lemon demon#art#lemon demon ocs#lemon demon oc#silly#artists on tumblr#lemon demon sona#idkhow#their name is Socrates btw I gotta update their ref#lemon demon fanart#neil cicierega#ughhhhhhhhhhhh too many tags I'll die
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Yoo-hoo I have a treat for y’all:
The first chapter of the Socrates/Alcibiades prohibition, 1920s, on the run from the government au.
#I’m gonna be trying something different with this so if there’s no update for a bit don’t panic#socrates/alcibiades#mars writes
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DID YOU THINK WE WERE FINISHED, SOCRATES? NO. WE HAVE ONLY BEGUN.
(Have a goofy bonus argument and some updates on the future of Pro Philosopher!)
#socrates jones#pro philosopher#steam games#indie dev#indie games#teaser#video games#visual novel#philosophy#free game#update
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this post has been up for a month and brought me endless joy. here are some names from the notes
discovered a dog called Sock today. short for Socrates. if you even care
#update!#there are many many more rounds in the notes !#to answer some more questions on this post#‘discovered’ meaning he’s my friends boyfriends dog#but also in the sense of an ancient scientist discovering something profound#he is a golden retriever !#lots of people saying this is an nb name too youre so right#sock (socrates)
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The Mentalist – Fanfiction Masterlist ☕️
Last update: 11/27/24 ┃ Sources: ArchiveOfOurOwn, Fanfiction.net
Collection of The Mentalist fanfics I’ve enjoyed, based on my personal preference. Most of these focus on Jisbon ship, set after the series, with a few canon-compliant, canon-divergent, and alternate universe stories mixed in. Don’t forget to check the ratings and tags as preferences can vary. Enjoy and happy reading!
POST-SERIES
Fanfics set after the The Mentalist series ends, featuring the Janes. Mostly domestic and fluff Jisbon married life. These are stories I've enjoyed based on my personal preferences. Don’t forget to check the ratings and tags, as preferences can vary.
Oneshot
A Trip Down Memory Lane – donkeydomination
Finally – angrylittleprincess
Her Beauty – fan4000
I just thought I'd tell you – lastavica
Injuries – mentalagent13
The Mentalist: Bear Claws – donnamour1969
Well time has a way of throwing it all in your face – littleyellowhouse
Multi-chapter
I sang for you the softest tune – stxrdustwidow
Irreplacable – glindalovesshoes
Letters to Teresa – idan*
Threads – lisbon
CANON
Here’s a list of fanfics I’ve enjoyed, including both canon-compliant and canon-divergent ones. Don’t forget to check the ratings and tags, as preferences can vary.
Season 1
Bagheera and the Little Prince – idan
Blind Faith – idan
Dawn – chibinoyume
Impromptu Lullabies – hardly loquacious
Season 2
Season 3
And It Tasted of Fear – a testament to improvement
Victimology – idan
Strawberries with Chocolate - kushiro
Season 4
After the Fugue – hlj137
Lay your head down for me darlin' – brittwho
Little Red Book, 4x2 – donnamour1969
Ruby Slippers, 4x21 – donnamour1969
Shatter – ruuger
Silent Promise – polarnightFox
We stand in stillness – brittwho
Where in the World? 4x6 – Donnamour1969
Season 5
A Bad Idea – inkstainedfingers97
Boiling Blood – easilyobsessed
Missing scene: 5x16 – scarfeza
New Years Resolution – calladragon
Reversal – mtm
Speechless – idan
Tag to 'Red Dawn' – jacketandboots
The Picadors – hayseed socrates
Season 6
72 Hours – easilyobsessed
Accidental Confessions – lestrangle
Blue hyacinth (for constancy of love) – lemoncellbros
Black-Winged Red Bird, 6x2 – donnamour1969
The Wizard of Oz – littleyellowhouse
Unexplained Endings – scriiibble ×
Season 7
Black Market – kykkio
Drifting – vinividivinci
Does anyone know who you are? – vixx2pointoh
Of All the Beds I’ve Made – excelsiors
Stay – lisbon
The Dollhouse – lizzabet ×
Wedding Gifts – idan
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
List of fan fictions set in alternate universe or similar settings. Don’t forget to check the ratings and tags, as preferences can vary.
Red Violin – inkstainedfingers97
» annotations: *~personal fave ; ×~not updated
» tags:
#The Mentalist#Teresa Lisbon#Patrick Jane#The Mentalist tv series#Jisbon#The Mentalist fanfiction#The Mentalist ao3#The Mentalist tv#Jane x Lisbon#my masterlist#jisbon fanfiction#fanfiction
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Word count update
Someone in my ao3 comments was asking me about my update schedule for my fics.
Uhhh. I don't have one. I just do whatever I want.
But I figured I could share my word count every week or biweekly so y'all can see how far away I am from the next chapter update.
(Probably biweekly or even monthly because this is kind of a pain in the ass to do. I don't write in one place. I use Google docs, scrivener and even write fanfic by hand at times. So combining it all takes a lot of time. Which is why I don't bother until I have to edit.)
FMK 810 words
Outline of the Shen Yuan/Zhuzhi Lang AU
Morrigan's Ghost: 1.6k words About half way done. Lots of dog lore.
Jazz/Prowl oneshot 2.4k words might turn this into a full fledged fic. I love how much of a dirtball Jazz is lol.
Shen Yuan wrong god AU fic 1.8k
Fic where Mu Qingfang abandons his oath of pacifism and goes on a revenge murder spree 800 words.
5.4k of that self insert thing done. It's pretty much finished. I just gotta do some sanding to get the parts to fit nicely together. Pretty it up a bit.
#Socrates!Update#wordcount update#I'm probably going to focus on FMK until it's at least 2k#Then maybe finish Morrigan's ghost up#Or that self insert thing#It's been nearly done for MONTHS#Story of my life#I hate editing#so I put it off for as long as possible#Lmao
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#also a bunch of people noted in the tags of the original post that this method is called a socratic dialogue#and i swear to god i had a whole paragraph about the socratic method but i have no idea what happened to it#ANYWAY#memorizing a few power moves to deploy when people are being assholes can be very helpful#deploying them around people who are not being assholes can be very destructive#and lead to shallow relationships where people are only drawn to you to seek your praise and approval#i do not recommend it#my father did it until the day he died and there was no one at his funeral via: OP
one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.
i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."
at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.
it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.
i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.
a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"
knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?
it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"
you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."
#update on the communication post!#communication#socratic dialogue#i was thinking abt this post when i had a draining fight with my mother. so i let her talk everything out to her heart's content
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If Socrates did not exist, who would you ”ship” Alcibiades with then and why?
I ship him with a lot of other people. There's Timandra who may or may not have existed and I do ship them the most after soc/al.
I also ship him with tissaphernes (tissaphernes named a garden after him the poor man) , pharnabazus (he was his last ally) , Lysander (Lysander refused to fight him in the sea, and had to be forced by his superiors to order his assassination, he didn't want to do it), timaea and Hipparete obv, antiochus, hipponicus, astyochus (spartan general who repeatedly could've gotten him murdered but didn't, and also directly told him about plots against him). Alcibiades/Aristophanes is a ship I don't see much but my god the potential.
Alcibiades/Plato i really like but the world isn't ready for it, Alcibiades/Phaedo for which I have that ongoing ao3 fic going on (i promise there will be an update ;_; i try so hard). Alcibiades/Charmides whenever Socrates posseses me, Alcibiades/critias/theramenes because in my mind they had him like a foster pet for like a year or two before he got bored of them.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but basically I ship him with everyone except for Pericles and Aspasia because that just doesn't nake any sense and it doesn't bring me joy.
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GREGORY: HELLOOOOO MY BONITA FABULOSO QUEENIES!
GREGORY: It’s me, Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd, queer. Today, my little munchkirooroos, It's show and tell!!!!!!
GREGORY: Unfortunately, I am the only active participant :(. You see, Estella is busy, the other two are out, and Tommyboy is feeling a bit under the weather (he is muy muy dead).
GERGORY: But that won’t take away my sparkle. ✨️✨️✨️✨️💖💖💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋💋😘😘😘😘😘😚😚😚😚😚😽😽😽😽💏💏💏💏💏🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈👬👬👬👬👬💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺
GREGORY: Here, I have some amazing pictures that were taken on my polaroid 🤩😍😘
GREGORY: FYI, i was QUITE the photographer in my day. I took pictures of THE Mona Lisa, Marie Antoniette AND Napoleon Bonaparte!!!!!!! You know that one meme? I took the picture for it. (Not to mention the others I’ve taken photos of [Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King Jr, Sigmund Freud, The Virgin Mary, Abraham Lincoln, Emmanuel Macron, Aaron Powell, The Girl With a Pearl Earring, Shakespeare, Uncle Sam, Maya Angelo, Joseph Stalin, Count Saint Germain, Friedrich Nietzsche, Socrates, King Edward II, Bugs Bunny, Alexander Hamiliton, Karl Marx, JFK, Cleopatra, Nikola Tesla, and Babe Ruth. <3])
GREGORY: This first group here shows a militia of degenerates. They all equally smell like tar, except for the one with the… excrement on his hands.
GREGORY: I’m still a bit peeved with Stanley because of his blatant homophobia.
GREGORY: It’s insane to think that someone WOULDN’T want to kiss ME.
GREGORY: And now here, as you can see, is my lovely friend group. OHHMYGOSH we’re like a big happy family!!!!!!
GREGORY: Mm, I think we can all tell who the responsible adults and the idiot children are…
GREGORY: Madam Estella will take good care of everyone, even though they’re not all made equally.
GREGORY: But, after witnessing such accurate lifelike portyals (because I took them on my pink polaroid) ((and they’re very real)) I believe we can conclude this update.
GREGORY: Do go follow my other socials for updates on my mukbang stream! I’m eating everything I can find in Craig’s pantry! <3
(Writen and edited mostly by @pissblanket, I [@imlivinginyourtrashcan] helped with a bit of writing and drew both the pictures and edited them, enjoyyy!)
#underworld park gregory#craig tucker#craigfluencer#south park#south park edits#southpark#hellpark#sp#underworld park#underworld park pip#underworld park clyde#underworld park tolkien#underworld park estella#underworld park thomas#team gregory cutie pie 3rd#gregory cutie pie vrs craig the real tucker
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Ender's Game was a late twentieth century young adult science fiction novel by Orson Scott Card about a young genius who is recruited and trained to be a commanding officer in a war against aliens by a desperate authoritarian state.
In the novel, as essentially a B plot, the boy's siblings enact a plan to gain supreme political power by blogging essays on politics.
Ender's Game was written before blogging was so ubiquitous on the internet. It was drawing on historical examples of essayists of the late 18th century gaining political acclaim through newspapers (e.g. John Adams and Alexander Hamilton). Card did not predict that the lowered barriers to entry and vast amounts of content would dilute the impact of individual essayists. Moreover, the prevailing cultures of the early twenty-first century are not open to the same 'overturning tradition through enlightened rationality' of 18th and 19th century intellectuals which encouraged a maverick restructuring of matters towards new modes of thought, which would appreciate this kind of essayists.
In the early twenty-first century it is humorous or baffling to consider an individual achieving political power through such means.
What would you say is your "posting niche". What type of "post" do you "specialise" in "making"
brilliant socio-political analysis which will soon have me in my rightful place as hedgemon
#period novel details#explaining the joke ruins the joke#not explaining the joke means people 300 years from now won't understand our culture#perhaps I am disillusioned but I don't think Alexander Hamilton would have been able to get a scholarship today#I'm not sure I actually WANT popular essayists to have political power... it's like Socrates's argument against sophism#but I do yearn for people correctly identifying thoughtful leaders and acclaiming them to power#the human brain needs a firmware update
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Little updates on my journey finishing alcibiades 1
Alcibiades cannonically cannot cook
Alcibiades is portrayed as an abseloute dumass to the point that i question is at least some of it is him giving some aditude back to socrates . Most of the stuff he says i can see being ironic little " yes socrates" ment to piss him off because there is no way any person in the world espesialky alcibiades that woukd be ok being that humiliated. Alternatively, he is just so in love he puts up with it
Alcibiades brother mentioned!!!
Pericles mentioned!!! My baby girl !!! Also confirmation that this was written before pericles died , which again i could have learned by checking the dates but waiting till he was mentioned proved to be more fun
No aspasia mentions :(
Socrates says βαβαι a lot , which is very very cute and a lot of my teachers say it constantly when they are frustrated. Βαβαι supremacy. Its such a fun thing to say. Its like i think the ancient greek version of damn
I had made a post previously pointing out alcibiades constant use of ε��ωγε and now that ive read a bit more philosophy i can say that its not an alcibiades thing its a Plato thing. Its crazy because no one ive asked about this has made it into a big deal but Plato CONSTANTLY makes people use εγωγε instead of εγω when they mean the same thing but εγωγε is a bit cuntier . I asked my teacher why this happens or if there is any reason its used so heavily in philosophy and she told me no, there is not , its just the authors choice , but idk still
Socrates saying he is at a dead end ( angry , frustrated, whatever ) with alcibiades, and with his love for alcibiades just casually.
Socrates and alcibiades agreeing that someones heritage matters when comparing nations , saying that the spartans their enemies are worthy opponents because all their kinds are decendants of Hercules and of zeus . Now this is intresting because of two things first because i didnt know these myths existed , thats so fun every tribe had a difrent little demigod they all came from ? Also because socrates then goes on to say that no man that has ever sat on the throne of sparta has had anything other than hercules blood in him . I wonder if alcibiades though of that , many many years later , when he said that the only reason he had sex with and impregnated the queen of sparta was so his sons could sit on the throne . Abseloutely unhinged " i am greater than god himself " behaviour we see on alcibiades all the time , i wouldnt put it past him to be motivated to seduce their queen and have all that backlass for it just so he could fuck uo the years and years of tradition and prove himself more cunning that , and dethrone litteral descendants of gods
Socrates being a spartan apologist . Good for him
Socrates practically saying " no one cares what you do on your free time . I mean unless they are in love with you. Then they care a lot " he is destroying that twink
Alcibiades saying that socrates is wiser than anyone and socrates imidietly replying that they should learn together and examine the facts together . Despite being a bitch he tried to include Alcibiades and never brags about his intelligence.
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Well, now we found the high quality original stills, we can't seem to help ourselves in actually making all the old art work for the new resolution.
Looks like our little rerelease of Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher is becoming more of a remake!
#remake#socrates jones#pro philosopher#art#visual novel#update#indie games#indiedev#gamedev#game screenshots#games#but really we are compelled
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Cruel Summer Part 13
First - Previous - Next
pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
summary: After breaking up, you and Eddie do your best to soldier on with your lives, but you slowly begin to discover that there is a stronger line of connection keeping you together than just history…
word count: 11.5k
warnings: swearing, descriptions of violence/the Demogorgon ate Barb, angst, fluff
A.N.: Happy Birthday to me and a very merry unbirthday to all of you! Thank you to everyone who sent such nice comments and asks after the last chapter, I really hope you all enjoy the update!!! if you see typos, no you don't :D
Dustin can’t decide who hates this plan more, Eddie or himself.
They’ll split into three teams, one at the Creel House to draw Vecna’s attention on this side, and two in the Upsidedown, one to lure the bats away from the house and hold them, and one to send the bastard to kingdom come while his guard is down.
Simple and more or less straightforward… until a very frustrating though decidedly no less valid question is raised: how do you know the plan is even going to work?
Which is to say, how are you going to make sure the bats will do what they’re supposed to and leave the house unguarded when Team Distraction turns the volume up?
Because if Dustin and Eddie can’t guarantee that their distraction will lure the bats — all of the bats — then Steve, Nancy, and Robin won’t be able to get into the house, and if they can’t get in the house, then they’re dead in the water before they’ve even begun.
As so often happens when the dark storm cloud of sobering truth rolls in on the horizon, they all come to the same simultaneous conclusion.
It strikes like a bolt of lightning in the distance — a brief purpling flash that is so sudden you can’t be sure it was even there until its presence is validated by the staggered clap of thunder following dutifully behind.
That’s what the realization feels like. Loud, pervasive, numbing. It leaves Dustin’s ears ringing in the hollowness it leaves behind.
One of you is going to have to get out there and do something to lure the bats away — one of you is going to have to be bait.
Naturally, nobody is exactly eager to throw their name into the running for that prestigious task, least of all Dustin, who is under no delusions about being an athlete of any capacity.
He’s a Hawkins Middle AV club alumnus for Christ’s sake, not exactly the picture of physical prowess.
The notion itself is enough to set something cold and heavy settling in the pit of his stomach, like something out of a stress-induced nightmare — he knows no one is going to ask him to be the bait, but there is still that nagging pressure of worry.
He can’t imagine what he’ll do if the task falls to him, he can’t imagine what any of you will do. More to the point, he can’t imagine any of you being stupid enough to willingly go and put your life on the line like that.
Only that is not expressly true. Steve would do something that stupid, and he doesn’t even have to imagine it as the older boy steps bravely forward into their Socratic huddle.
“I’ll do it,” He says, nodding solemnly like he’s just presented himself to steward the one ring to Mordor … though probably not, because Steve wouldn’t get that reference in the first place.
He’s not Frodo Baggins, he’s just a big brave dog too stupid to know when to stay quiet and save his own life.
Thankfully, the suggestion goes over more or less like a lead balloon.
“That’s not gonna work, Steve,” Nancy says, a messy halo of curls dancing about her features as she shakes her head, pursing her lips.
The sting of her rejection is immediately evident across Steve’s face, and Dustin has to wonder just how much of that bravery is actually just plain, old fashioned peacocking to try and impress her.
Even if it isn't, there is not much of an argument to be made against the refusal of his offer, considering the general consensus of the room is more or less in agreement with her.
It leaves him visibly deflated.
Dustin doesn’t fault him for suggesting he be the one to do it. It is nothing less than entirely on brand for Steve — big damn hero that he is — but in this specific case, it’s more of bonehead thinking rather than the noble gesture he imagines he thinks it is.
“Why not?” Steve presses, speaking to Nancy more than anyone else in the room, “I’ll lead them away and double back — it’ll take ten minutes tops.”
He makes a show of dusting his hands of imaginary grime before presenting her with his empty palms, impressing absolutely no one, Nancy especially.
“Yeaaaah…” Eddie says through his teeth, stretching the word like he knows he’s got something to say that Steve won’t thank him for, “Only that didn’t work so good for you last time, did it, Bud?”
His head lolls left to press his ear to his shoulder as he levels him with a knowing look, squinting at him and scrunching his features in a way that could almost be misconstrued as apologetic.
And he’s right, Steve does not thank Eddie for so graciously pointing out the shortcomings of his last expedition to the Upsidedown.
“Last time I wasn’t running away, Bud.” Steve deadpans, hurling the pet name back at him with perhaps a tad too much vitriol. “They caught me off guard, I’ll be ready for them this time.”
It does nothing to breathe any confidence into their group as a dissenting murmur passes through the cabin of the RV.
Dustin thinks deep down they all know they probably should let Steve do it, despite their misgivings.
He’s really the only one among them with the prerequisite skills for the job – all those sports he played – but there is still a glaringly obvious issue with that plan because Steve has already assigned himself a pivotal role, one Robin is all too happy to remind him of.
“Listen, Stevie.” She starts, “We all know you’re super impressive or whatever, but this is one thing we don’t need you Galahading yourself over — you’re supposed to be running point up at the house so Nancy can light Vecna’s ass up, remember?”
“Well, I don’t see anyone else volunteering.” He snaps, crossing his arms over his chest and making a point to scan the room in an expectant glare, suddenly towering over them like some kind of angry lighthouse sweeping the shoreline for signs of life.
Dustin does his best to shrink out of his line of sight when it passes over him.
He’s got no business volunteering for something like this, and even if he did, he’s already got his own job with Eddie, acting as his roadie of sorts — at least he thinks so, that’s how Eddie had described it and for his lack of expertise on the matter all he can do is agree.
If he had to pick someone, Lucas is probably the best substitute for Steve, but he’s got to stay with Max on this side just in case Vecna’s hold grows a little too tight and a musical intervention is needed.
It’s a moot point, anyway, because they’ve already left that group at the Creel House, and Dustin can’t feasibly see doubling back for them just because the plan has changed.
As far as he can tell, Steve is right, and there’s no one else left to be the bait.
“I can do it.” You offer then, speaking in a small, tentative voice from where you’ve tucked yourself in at the other side of the camper.
There is a shift in the group as everyone moves at once to find the source of the voice, staring in an almost stunned silence like they’d forgotten you were there.
Dustin feels his heart seize in his chest in a violent spasm that has his intestines responding accordingly.
Oh, God!
His eyes go wide as he whips around to regard you with something that can only stem from the gut-wrenching, pants-shitting terror he is suddenly gripped in.
Not you, anyone but you!
Beside you, Eddie mirrors the motion, head snapping up so quickly Dustin is half surprised it doesn’t roll right off his shoulders and across the length of the RV.
Under such tense scrutiny, you wilt ever so slightly, glancing nervously around the room, looking for any kind of a reaction.
And nobody outright rejects the suggestion like they had with Steve, much to Dustin’s abject horror.
“I’ll do it.” You say again, this time with a little more confidence, giving a subtle nod as if to punctuate the affirmation.
Dustin, of course, is ardently against it, but has found that he has been rendered suddenly and woefully mute by the complete and total shock of your suggestion.
Eddie is thankfully not caught in those doldrums, and he is all too happy to tell you exactly how he feels.
“Like hell you will,” He gawps.
For the lack of any higher functioning brain power, all Dustin can manage is a stupid, emphatic nodding, and when the initial shock begins to fade and more of his brain starts to switch on again, he searches the room for the naysayers of the earlier moment.
He waits for the dissenting murmur, the interjections from prevailing cooler heads going on to explain exactly why you cannot, in fact, be the bait, but they never come.
It’s just Eddie, telling you you’re crazy if you think he’s gonna let you get out there, and Dustin frantically nodding along like a goddamn bobblehead.
“Why not?” You demand, sounding almost offended that he would disagree.
“Because it’s a suicide mission.” Eddie presses, putting harsh emphasis on the last two words.
You narrow your eyes.
“Oh, please,” you start, but he doesn’t let you finish.
“Babe,” the pet name causes Dustin’s skin to prickle uncomfortably, Eddie doesn’t seem to notice, “You weren’t there, okay? You don’t know what’s down there–”
“Giant vampire bats?” You deadpan, quirking a brow.
He wires his jaw shut and glares at you.
“And a whole network of vines and tentacles and creepy crawlies that report directly back to the fucker himself,” He presses, only he doesn’t know the half of it.
“Not to mention the Demogorgon,” Dustin says.
The room reacts appropriately at the mention of the foe of their past.
You remain unimpressed where you stand, but Eddie twists slowly to regard Dustin with a highly suspicious look.
“...I’m sorry…” He begins slowly, “The what?”
Steve answers for him, dismissing the question with a vague gesture.
“It’s like I told you, Munson,” he says, “We’ve been through all this before,”
“Only this time, we don’t have the benefit of having a girl with—” Robin starts, but Eddie cuts her off.
“Superpowers, yeah, you mentioned — can we just circle back to that Demogorgon thing?”
“…that’s what happened to Barb.” Nancy says then, getting this strange, haunted look in her eyes as she speaks – the color drains from her face, “… what really happened…”
The room goes eerily silent, leaving Eddie fumbling to understand what such a cryptic comment could possibly mean.
He looks from face to face, confusion etching itself deeper and deeper into his features as he waits for someone to elaborate.
“What do you mean what really happened?” He finally demands.
They don’t have to say it, their silence speaks volumes — Barbara Holland’s disappearance had been big news for almost a year — almost bigger than Will’s disappearance, death, and subsequent resurrection.
An honor student ups and skips town out of the blue? Not a chance in hell, not Barb, at least.
As far as Dustin can tell from the hushed conversations he’d overheard his mother having, most people didn’t outright believe it, even if only quietly so.
They preferred to keep their heads in the sand and keep the horrific alternative to themselves: that something terrible had happened to Barb right there in their sleepy little town, and she was never coming back.
It's no wonder the good people of Hawkins had grown progressively more wary of things that didn’t expressly fit their happy little narrative over the last couple of years.
If only they knew just how right they were to be afraid.
Eddie blanches as it dawns on him – the bats aren’t the only thing down there that can and will eat you alive if you’re caught.
“Oh, shit.” He mumbles.
Then, like you hadn’t heard a thing they’d just said about the bestiary of horrors waiting for them on the other side, you shake your head.
“I don’t care what’s down there –” You scoff, dismissing the truth of Barb’s horrific and untimely demise with a flippant gesture.
Eddie whips back around to level you with an incredulous look – eyes out on stalks and as big as dinner plates.
“You gotta be kidding,” He stresses, “Didn’t you hear what they said? Something down there ate Barb.”
“Nobody said that.” You snap.
“Henderson—!” Eddie practically shouts, whipping around to glare at Dustin, though he hardly thinks the look is meant for him, especially with the way Eddie thrusts an accusatory finger back at you, “Tell her!”
“The Demogorgon ate Barb.” Dustin drawls.
Somewhere to his left, Nancy flinches and he can’t help but feel a pang of regret for putting it in such crass terms, but it is very important to him that you understand the ramifications of what you were about to do. The danger you are putting yourself in.
You roll your eyes in that same maddening way you always do that lets Dustin know exactly what you’re thinking – that this is all nothing more than D&D bullshit and that they’re blowing it out of proportion to try and scare you out of volunteering. He wishes it were as simple as all that.
He wishes that he wasn’t stuck thinking about the faceless horror that has haunted his dreams since that night in 1983 back at Hawkins Middle.
And then he feels eyes on him, boring holes into the side of his face. Dustin turns to find Eddie staring at him, brows pulled tight over his eyes, still wide and fearful as the question he doesn’t want to ask forms on the tip of his tongue.
It hadn’t occurred to Dustin that Eddie didn’t actually expect him to back him up like that, that he didn’t really believe that’s what happened. He was just being dramatic, like always, how was he supposed to know he was right on the money?
It’s visibly sobering, and Eddie clenches his jaw as the urge to ask about it escapes him, and he levels Dustin with a knowing look, nodding curtly.
Yes, the Demogorgon had, in fact, eaten Barbara Holland, as plain and simple and horrific a fact as that. Nothing more need be said about it.
And honestly, a lot more could be said, because that’s not even the worst thing that has happened since the Upsidedown came crashing up into their world, but somehow Dustin knows that nothing he says is going to be enough to deter you.
“Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m the only one who doesn’t have a part to play in this.” You huff.
You bet your ass you don’t.
You had, in fact, been excluded by design, because that’s the way Eddie wanted it, and Dustin was only happy to agree with him, much to your patent dismay.
Every single one of your arguments had come with just as many explanations as to why you couldn’t go — the least of which were that, despite the new bandages Karen Wheeler had wrapped your hand in, you’re still injured, just as you had stressed on the shore of Lover’s Lake the night before.
“So what?” Dustin huffs.
“So, it’s not fair.” You grouse, halfway to whining about it before Eddie shuts you down.
“Life’s not fair, Sweetheart,” He says. “The sooner you realize that the better.”
Harsh but true, Dustin thinks.
Anyway, what you said is not expressly true – you do have a job. An important job that keeps you very far removed from danger of any kind — you’re supposed to guard the gate in Eddie’s living room from this side in the unlikely event someone comes snooping, and you’re extremely unhappy about it.
Normally, that would fill Dustin with some sort of gut-wrenching guilt, but as far as he can tell he doesn’t give a shit about how you feel right now.
He only cares about keeping you safe.
You’d already sat arguing about it back in the field when the details of the plan were laid out, nearly spoiling what was just about the closest thing Dustin has experienced to a perfect moment with you in months — running around and playing in the grass in a fit of euphoric, childlike whimsy. It was almost enough to make him forget that there was anything wrong in the world.
That all came crashing down the moment Steve called you back to the camper.
“We really should have someone standing by in case the cops come poking around,” Dustin had tried to explain to your angry, pacing form after they’d broken the news that you were not invited to cross the gate with them. “A-and since you’re so good at thinking on your feet—”
It did nothing to soften the blow of rejection. You’d silenced him with an angry look and spent the next half hour quietly fuming in the furthest corner of the RV you could squeeze yourself into.
And now you’re volunteering to smear yourself in blood and go willingly into the lion’s den, and no one is disagreeing that it should be you. If that isn’t some form of cosmic justice…
That’s perhaps what distresses Dustin the most, that you’ve volunteered to go and die, and everyone is just going to let you do it.
In a shocking turn of events, suddenly he and Eddie are the only sane ones among you.
“This is ridiculous , you guys–”
“No, you’re not doing it.” Eddie says, slicing the air in a clipped gesture, “End of story. Harrington? Tell her.”
You scoff and open your mouth to protest the supposed finality of the statement, and by extension what Dustin can only imagine is a healthy dose of outrage over any kind of decision involving you being left up to Steve of all people, but he is quick to jump in before you can say anything.
“Steve!” He stresses, “Tell her!”
It catches him woefully off guard and Dustin watches as something a little closer to panic than he is comfortable with flashes across Steve’s features. Like being unexpectedly called on in class when you haven’t been paying attention.
Thick brows shoot up toward that immaculate hairline before bouncing back to furrow over Steve’s eyes.
He flexes his jaw and breathes in deeply through his nose, and after a moment’s hesitation, he finally opens his mouth to say… nothing. Dustin can’t believe it.
He could scream.
In all the time he’s known him, Steve has never been caught without some kind of a smooth one-liner, a witty comeback. Of all the time Dustin has known him, he has never once been rendered speechless.
There’s a first time for everything, sure, but why on God’s green Earth did it have to be now? It’s just bad timing.
Steve stands there, working his jaw like a gaping fish for another agonizing moment of deafening silence, even turning to Robin and Nancy for some kind of support – they have nothing to offer but incredulous stares – but it’s no use, he well and truly has no idea what to say.
You’ve started in again before he can get much more out than a bitten-off “Uuuuhhh….”
“I’m not just gonna wait around babysitting a hole in the ceiling while you all put your lives on the line,” You bite, and somehow Dustin can’t help but get the sense that even though you’re addressing the room, you’re speaking directly to him – to Eddie, who has spent the duration of your spiel violently shaking his head in outright rejection.
He hardly lets you finish before he makes a harsh sound of incredulous disbelief.
“No.”
“Eddie–”
“No!”
“Will you shut up and let me do this?” You shout, “I’ll lead the bats away from the house and make them chase me back here–”
Eddie barks out a bitter laugh that has you clamping your jaw shut with enough force that Dustin hears your teeth click together.
“Right, just like you led Jason and those fuckers away from Rick’s place?” He snaps, his words dripping with disdain, “How’s the hand, by the way? Still hurts?”
Despite their united front, Dustin can’t help the stirring sense of injustice Eddie’s tone kicks up in his chest, rattling around like embers in his ribcage.
He’s not the enemy here, regardless of what his guts are trying to tell him, but the urge to defend you has long since been stronger than any of Dustin’s natural instincts.
Of course, you don’t need him to come running to your rescue – you never have, and he’s starting to suspect that you never will. Some small part of him aches with the grief of that realization. He doesn’t know why, but it feels like a loss.
Suddenly it’s like you don’t even know he’s there anymore, with the way you’re looking at Eddie. Glaring at him like you’re the only two people in the room. It’s strangely charged, almost intimate, and it makes Dustin’s insides go squirmy like he’s witnessing something torrid.
Somehow it feels like the scene playing out before them is not for their eyes, and Dustin wonders briefly if they ought to leave the room, leave the two of you to this moment.
He watches you bristle, sees your gaze turn to white hot steel, and feels his insides clench for it.
His concern swings hard away from you to land on Eddie’s shoulders, then. Under the molten heat of your anger, he is surely about to whither and melt down to the bone.
Dustin thinks he ought to do something to try and protect him from that, but he doesn’t dare put himself in your line of site. Eddie is made of much stronger stuff than he is, he doesn’t need his help.
“Don’t be an asshole,” You warn him through your teeth.
Eddie throws up his hands and offers you a sarcastic smile, tilting his head ever so slightly like this is all just good, harmless fun.
“Babygirl, I’ll be whatever I need to be to stop you from doing this.” He says, “Because this is a stupid fucking plan, you’re gonna get yourself killed and when you do, I’m gonna say I told you so.”
Each point is punctuated by a sharp poke to your shoulder with his index and middle finger, firm enough to jostle you each time he hits home – you slap his hand away before he can poke you again.
“And here I thought chivalry was dead.” You hum, a harsh, clipped thing oozing with disdain.
Thankfully, before either of you can really start to fight about it, Robin interjects.
“Children – enough!” She shouts, breaking the spell - you both shrink away from the moment, settling back with arms crossed tightly over your chests, doing your utmost to avoid looking at one another.
Robin continues.
“We don’t have time to sit around and watch you two go another ten rounds, okay? We’re on a ticking clock here so both of you need to grow up or go in the back and bang out whatever the hell is going on here. Get it out of your system.”
A momentary if not bone-crushing silence falls over the cabin as Robin’s words hang heavy in the air.
It does nothing to help the awkwardness of the moment when Eddie perks up, brows jumping toward his hairline as he gestures toward the pullout haphazardly folded up at the back of the RV.
You roll your eyes, and Dustin pulls a disgusted face.
He looks to Steve for some kind of commiseration only to find him and Nancy fidgeting awkwardly and trying to avoid looking at each other.
Robin looks decidedly pleased with herself as she continues, evidently more than happy to have made the moment exceedingly more awkward than need be.
“Now,” She says, “Everyone is making valid points on both sides. Is this gonna be dangerous? Yes. Is she more than likely going to get seriously injured if not violently dismembered attempting this? Absolutely, but that doesn’t make it an excessively bad plan—”
“It doesn’t?” Eddie scoffs, which only serves to draw Robin’s attention as she sticks him to the spot with a very pointed look.
“Eddie...” she drawls.
He squares his shoulders and levels her with an expectant if not uninterested look, hugging himself that much tighter like he’s bracing for whatever it is she’s bound to hurl his way.
Robin continues, gesturing to you as she speaks.
“She’s a grown woman – fully consenting – if she wants to get out there and get her ass eaten, that’s her decision to make, not yours.”
Dustin doesn't realize there’s any sort of innuendo behind the words, intended or otherwise, until Eddie makes a harsh, choked sound in the back of his throat.
Almost immediately, his hand drifts up like he means to clap it over his mouth but switches gears at the last moment to rub at the faint hint of stubble shadowing his jawline, trying his damnedest to hide a less-than-subtle smile.
“Jesus – that’s one way of putting it.” He says, pulling his lower lip in past his teeth.
“Eddie.” You say then, voice lilting in a gently critical tone as your brows come down over your eyes.
The tension of the previous moment evaporated in an instant, and Dustin doesn’t understand why everyone is suddenly fidgeting and rolling their eyes.
Nancy makes a soft sound of disapproval in the back of her throat, and suddenly he feels like something has flown right over his head.
He hates being the only one not in on the joke. Max might have been able to explain it to him if not entirely unwilling, maybe even Lucas, but on his own he is hopelessly lost among this group of older kids.
“What?” He can’t help himself from asking, looking from face to face as everyone quickly avoids his gaze, “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” You say immediately, “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”
Dustin still doesn’t get it, but there’s no air in the conversation to ask what exactly he’s missing before Robin addresses you in turn.
There is the faintest pink tinge to her cheeks as she says your name in a commanding if not entirely sheepish way.
You lean over to smack Eddie’s quivering shoulder as he continues to fight the losing battle against the fit of giggles still threatening to overtake him.
Before Robin can speak, Steve swoops in, taking her by the arm and literally tugging her back from the center of the huddle.
She wrenches her arm out of his grasp and levels him in a harsh glare.
“Come on, Rob, give it a rest–” He starts, but Nancy quickly cuts him off.
“No, she’s right,” She says, then turns to you, “You ought to know what you’re volunteering for”
You, in turn, tilt your head to the right to press your ear to your shoulder.
“Running like hell and hoping they’ll try to make a meal out of me, right?” You deadpan, quirking a brow.
Like cracking a window at forty thousand feet, all the air is immediately sucked out of the room, taking any sense of levity with it as your words hang heavy in the air.
Dustin can’t stand it.
“Oh, come on… come on! There’s gotta be another way.” He presses, “Somebody has got to have a better idea than this.”
A heavy silence falls over the room, one that leaves a hollow ringing in Dustin’s ears as he waits for someone – anyone to speak.
Somebody has got to have something in the back pocket, some kind of last-ditch hair-brained scheme that doesn’t require anyone to make prey out of themselves.
It’s so quiet he’s half surprised he doesn’t hear the telltale chirping of crickets.
“Seriously?” He demands, “Nobody?”
When Dustin looks to Eddie for help, even he has suddenly become far too interested in his sneakers, hanging his head until his features are obscured by a frizzy curtain of hair.
It’s madness. It’s got to be some kind of spontaneous contagious insanity that only he is immune to, Dustin can’t think of what else could have such a hold on your tiny group that they’re actually genuinely considering letting you do this.
Steve rolls his neck in a halfhearted shrug, like this time he’s the one with something to say that is going to be hard to swallow.
“It’s the closest thing to a guarantee we have,” He mumbles, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck. “And she’s the only one here freed up to do it…”
“No way!” Dustin says, whirling around to level you with a horrified look, “You know this is crazy, right? You’re gonna get yourself killed!”
“We’re all gonna get ourselves killed.” You argue. “But if I can buy us a little time before that happens and make sure we take Vecna with us…?”
He shakes his head violently back and forth, hard enough that it just about dislodges the cap from his head.
“Let Steve do it.” He begs, “Steve, tell her you’ll do it–”
He knows he’s whining, he sounds like a petulant child who has just been told something they don’t want to hear – totally uncool – but he doesn’t really care.
He wants to grab you by the shoulders and shake you until it knocks this parasitic idea loose from your brain and you see reason again.
“Steve’s gotta make sure Nancy gets to Vecna.” You snap.
It drives him to the desperate edge, and before he even realizes what he’s doing, Dustin hurls himself out after you into the abyss.
“Then I’ll do it.”
There, finally, comes that dissenting murmur again, snatching him back from the precipice and placing him gently back on the ledge. It’s a rescue that comes too little too late and for the wrong person because you’re still freefalling.
The room fills with a dull discordant roar as all of a sudden everyone seems to have something to say, admonishing him for even suggesting the notion.
On one side he’s got Steve already halfway through a lecture about what will happen to him if he lets Dustin go and do something that stupid, meanwhile, Eddie is reminding him that just because he can do something in D&D it doesn’t qualify him to do the same thing in real life.
Everyone talking at once is at best, mildly overwhelming, and at worst, giving Dustin a headache, but at least everyone is focusing on him rather than agreeing to let you offer yourself up in the Upsidedown.
It feels almost like a chance, like maybe somehow he can grab you and whisk you away from all of this while everyone is distracted.
Maybe he’ll be the one to save you this time – if no one else will do it, he has to save you.
He should know better not to hope for things like that.
“Enough,” You snap, silencing everyone with the sharp utterance of the word – you level Dustin with a look that has him wilting under its heat, “This is happening. It’s gonna be me whether you like it or not. It has to be me.”
There’s no arguing with you because there’s never any point in it when you get like this. You are a mountain and he is the wind, and no matter how he gusts and howls and rants and raves, you will not be moved … a big stupid, stubborn mountain, and that’s that.
As quickly as it began, the debate fizzles out, and the decision is made. Everyone quietly moves to take their places in the RV again.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The sun is setting when you arrive, fiery claw marks cut the horizon to ribbons and set it ablaze with oranges and pinks and the faintest smear of purple. It sends a strange chill running down your spine, despite how relatively safe you still are on this side. The danger isn’t here, it’s lurking just below your feet.
For obvious reasons, you leave the RV parked among the trees and cross the threshold back into the Forest Hills trailer park on foot. You move silently, single file like good little ducklings weaving in and out of the trailers, broken down lawn furniture, and laundry lines.
It’s strangely abandoned, eerily so.
The only sound other than the gentle hum of the odd generator or the quiet murmuring of a television is the crunch of yellowing grass underfoot. Every step is like breaking glass and you have to work to remind yourself to breathe.
You’re leading the way, which is not something you would have typically volunteered for, but among the lot of you, you’ve got the most experience sneaking around the trailer park (besides Eddie of course, but he’s not exactly the ideal candidate to go playing Percy Faucet) so it’s you, just like you’d told Dustin back in the RV.
It has to be you.
He’s actively ignoring you now, which is not something you’re sure you’ve ever experienced.
Sure, he’s been mad at you for one reason or another over the years, it would be hard to spend so much time as an authority figure in his life and not have some kind of disagreement crop up between you eventually.
But this time he’s pissed at you for good reason and you can’t rightly blame him for feeling so.
There’s nothing to be done about it. The plan needs bait and you need to feel included, one way or another – you know he’s got to understand that, even if he refuses to admit it.
Even Eddie is resigned to the fact that you’re the only person for this job, as much as you know it’s eating him up inside.
You arrive at the Munson trailer in no time at all and hold the door as you usher your companions inside – Eddie first.
His mattress remains where you left it, along with the cascading fall of bedsheets knotted together, standing in suspended animation. You do your best not to look at it, or anything else you don’t expressly have to as you follow the last of your party through the door and shut it tightly behind you.
You tell yourself that you’re not going to look at the hole in the ceiling again until you have absolutely no other choice, which is to say until you’re crossing through it.
A shudder passes through your body at the thought, grinding through you like the crunch of tectonic plates – you’re still not entirely convinced the thing isn’t going to sprout teeth and snap shut on you before you can slip through to the other side.
You’re also not entirely sure you even want to go to the other side, the place where bats had nearly liberated Steve’s head from his body and where Barbara Holland had evidently been dragged screaming into an untimely, violent death – but what choice do you have?
You have to go, especially after the fuss you’d kicked up in the RV.
Before you can get very far down the line of trying to decide whether or not you’ve made a terrible mistake, Eddie is there, pressed to your side and snaking his hand down to link fingers with you.
You’re close enough that when you turn to look at him, your noses are nearly touching, and all your senses are flooded with him.
The rough pads of his scarred fingers brushing against your skin, the smell of his sweat intermingling with tobacco and something earthier. Some small part of you is worried it’s too intimate for the company you keep, but the way his presence soothes the fearful fluttering of your heart won’t let you protest the proximity.
He pacifies your worries with just a touch and suddenly you don’t care about the hole in the ceiling or the lapse in gravity or the monsters on the other side or anything else threatening to break your brain, all you think is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
“Come with me.” He says quietly and pulls you back through the kitchenette.
You follow, and for half a moment, you think he may be leading you back toward the bedroom.
Your numbers make for tight quarters in the trailer, especially with everyone trying to maneuver the mattress laid out in the middle of the floor, you imagine if Eddie needed a private moment with you, there isn’t a better place to find one than the bedroom.
Before you can make it too far down the hall, however, he pivots left and twists the handle of the side door leading to the porch.
An interesting development – you are suddenly gripped in the vice of curiosity and feel the gentle pattering of your heart as a hundred different possibilities race through you.
“Where are you going?” Dustin calls from where he’d been sulking somewhere behind you, and when Eddie ignores him, he raises his voice, “Eddie! Where are you going?”
He’s already halfway out the door when he pauses, hardly turning to acknowledge Dustin as he speaks.
“We’ll be right back,” Eddie says.
You’re almost relieved when Dustin’s eyes flit over to you, silently gesturing at you in the expectation that you’ll give him some sort of answer you don’t have.
All you can do is shrug as Eddie pulls you through the door with a gentle tug.
Your unexpected departure kicks up about as much fuss as you expect it would.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” Steve grouses, nearly stumbling over the coffee table in his hurried attempt to follow you to the door. “What now?”
“We shouldn’t split up, you guys,” Nancy calls, following Steve, “Not when things are so close.”
Eddie pays them no mind as he heads for the rickety staircase, half rotten from disuse as much as years under the elements.
You’ve never known him to use it, opting always to leap down from the elevated porch instead, garnering many a twisted ankle in his day. You wonder if it’s only his insistence on playing follow the leader that has him taking the safer route for once.
“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie assures them.
“I am worried about it!” Steve snaps, “Eddie – you’re the most wanted person in Roane County and you guys are just gonna… what, you‘re gonna run off and find a quiet spot to … hash things out real quick?”
“What’s the problem, Steve?” You sigh, stopping short on the top step and holding Eddie firm to the spot below you.
You don’t have time for an argument, particularly out in the open air where any one of his neighbors could take a peek out the window and spy him standing there.
Steve is right, but you don’t have to let him know that. As always, he’s all too happy to spell his point out for you.
“The problem is they’re out there looking for him.” Steve drawls, aggressively stretching the words like he thinks you’re stupid or something. “What part of this seems like a good idea?”
Eddie levels him with a poisonous look.
“Hey Man, this is your stupid plan–” He bites, “You’re the one who said we need the goddamn bait, so we’re going out there and we’re gonna walk the route as many times as it takes for her to memorize it.”
If that’s true, it’s news to you and you can’t say you’re expressly pleased to hear it.
You’d always done your utmost to avoid the Creel House, considering its reputation for being haunted. That doesn’t mean you don’t know exactly where it is from anywhere you’ve spent a decent amount of time in the duration of your life in Hawkins, if only to make damn sure you steer as clear as you possibly can.
You don’t need Eddie to walk the route with you, but you’re also not going to contradict him when he’s in a mood like this.
Steve, unfortunately, is not clued in enough to pick up on the venom coursing through Eddie’s veins.
“It’s a straight shot through the woods from here to there, what’s to memorize?” His tone is oozing with sarcasm, but you refuse to let him ruffle your feathers.
Whatever this is is important enough to Eddie to risk exposure, so you’ll humor him, and in the meantime, you’ll play nice with Steve so that he’ll let you go without a fight.
You shake your head and offer him a lopsided shrug.
“It’s like you said,” You say innocently, “It’s a straight shot, so that means we’ll be back in no time.”
Robin appears in the doorway beside him then and pokes her head out, looking curiously between the standoff.
Your eyes meet.
“How long did he say it would take him?” You ask, “Ten minutes tops?”
Ten minutes running, maybe, much closer to twenty-five at a walk, hurried as it is sure to be. Still, she snorts out a burst of undainty laughter.
“You did say that, Steve-o.” She hums, elbowing Steve in the side when he doesn’t respond.
A thought flashes briefly across your mind, and you make quick work of undoing your tattered watchband.
“Here,” you say, tossing it to him, “You can even time us if you want.”
Steve catches the watch with the ease of a lifelong athlete and turns the thing over in his hands, staring down at it and evidently weighing the pros and cons of letting the two of you slip off to God knows where – you could not have told him if your life depended on it.
For all you know, you’re on your way out of town, getting out of Dodge before the shit can well and truly hit the fan.
Yesterday, you might have jumped at the chance, but there are bigger things on the horizon now than the promise you’d made to Wayne out on the road between the trailer park and Benny’s.
Whether you like it or not, you’ve both suddenly got a big part to play in all this. The window of opportunity to just slip away has long since slammed shut.
After a moment of chewing the inside of his lip, Steve finally relents, heaving a long-suffering sigh and running a hand through those perfectly stunning bouncy tresses.
“Fine.” He says, “Whatever, but you two better come right back. We’re short on time as it is, we don’t need any unexpected variables —” which is to say they don’t need to stage a rescue mission in the event that someone catches you out in the open.
He snaps his fingers into a point and aims the unbelievably smooth gesture at Eddie, “One time out and back, no detours.”
His shoulders drop as a little bit of the tension brimming there visibly goes out of him, and he gives a curt nod.
When Steve turns his pointing on you, you give him an enthusiastic if not ever so slightly sarcastic thumbs up.
“10-4, Good Buddy.” You say.
Eddie wastes no time after that leading you down the steps and across the park into the nearest copse of woodland, stealing away from the prying eyes of the neighborhood like a couple of horny teenagers sneaking off to fool around.
Somehow you don’t think you’ll get that lucky.
The sun is nearly gone by now, and despite the way it still holds the park in the warm luminescence of golden hour, the woods are steeped in deep blue shadow.
Eddie doesn’t say a word as you walk, he just holds tight to your hand and pulls you along. You do your best to keep up, but his legs are longer than yours and he’s like a man on a mission, cutting through the trees at such a pace.
Had you been paying any kind of attention to where you were walking, you would have very quickly noticed that your route is not angled toward the Creel House as he’d suggested, but you’re not focused on anything but the silent walking wall that is Eddie.
Staring at the broad stretch of his back, you can’t help but feel shut out. You wonder if he’s mad at you, but you swallow the urge to ask him about it. You know you’d only sound pathetic and whiny if you did.
Still, he’s giving you extremely conflicting signals, speaking so softly to you the way he had back at the trailer, holding your hand with such a gentle reverence, but pulling you along behind him to wherever you’re going with no sense of tenderness, all the while actively ignoring you.
Of course he’s mad, you tell yourself.
He’d been under the impression that this saga would come to an end without you taking part in it, far removed from danger, but he should know better that you won’t be content to just sit on the couch and wait this out while everyone puts their lives on the line.
A misplaced twinge of annoyance bites at your insides at the thought that Eddie could actually be angry at you over this, that he would be pig-headed enough to think you wouldn’t put up a fight over being so summarily benched.
You know he knows you better than that, which means he’s sticking his head in the sand and being stubborn for stubbornness' sake.
You might have laid into him about gender roles in situations of peril, the same you would have had it been you and Dustin out here in the woods, but you’re tired of fighting, so you bite your tongue and trudge along in silence, doing your best to match his gait.
The further you go, the darker it gets as the sun disappears from the world and night sets in. You have no idea how long you’ve been walking before the trees part – much longer than ten minutes, you’re sure.
When you finally reach a break in the woods, you realize with a start that you are not standing in front of the Creel House.
It’s the highway.
A lonely stretch of road somewhere nearer to the fairgrounds than the spooky Victorian, if you had to guess.
It is abandoned, pitch black save for the cosmos wheeling overhead. Hawkins has always suffered from an inexplicable excess of backwood roads completely lacking in streetlights of any kind, making for a rare lack of light pollution in this modern world.
Good for stargazing, but bad for walking anywhere after dark.
Where normally you curse the powers that be for its shoddy infrastructure, you’re thankful for the oversight now as you step out onto the shoulder, confident that in the shadows, you will remain blissfully hidden from sight.
Eddie hangs back as you pad carefully to the road and take a good long look in both directions. No impending cars, so far so good.
Once you’re satisfied that you’re alone, you twist back around to look curiously at him.
“What is this?” you ask.
He’s fidgeting with his rings, twisting the burnished pig’s head back and forth over his middle finger, and you get the sense that he’s not as mad as you’d thought he was. Much more anxious than anything else.
Suddenly you feel rather foolish for being angry at him for nothing at all.
“Remember back in ‘83?” He begins quietly, sounding almost shy, “When you were driving me around ‘cause the van died and I couldn’t afford to get it fixed?”
You nod, because of course, you do. You cherish those days.
Those first few tentative weeks you spent driving around with Eddie Munson in your passenger seat, flipping through your cassettes, messing with your rearview mirror, trading a hundred and one inane questions in an attempt to get to know each other better — you remember the thrill of scandal, how anyone could have looked in and seen the two of you together, going along almost conspiratorially.
You know for certain that you would have been the talk of the town had anyone cared to notice, but the good thing about being more or less an invisible person was how you could get away with something like quietly falling into step with Eddie Munson without anyone batting an eye.
By the time someone thought to check in on you, the two of you were already attached at the hip, and there was nothing to be done about it.
You wouldn’t have it any other way.
Eddie gestures to the spot at the side of the road.
“Time’s stuck down there. It’s still November ‘83,”
You pull a face, wondering idly if he can even see you at this distance.
“Yeah, I’m still having trouble with that one.” You tease, skipping back across the gravel to close the gap between you and Eddie.
He remains unamused by the levity of your mood – contrary to what you’d almost fooled yourself into believing, this is, in fact, not a romantic jaunt in the moonlight, and Serious Eddie has come out to play.
“Pay attention,” He presses, “This is important.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes – where had you heard that before?
“Important like that story about the raccoon?” Your attempt at humor falls flat and Eddie gives you a stony look – Serious Eddie is no fun, but you relent and raise your hands defensively, “Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry… so, time’s stuck. What does that mean exactly?”
It’s a subtle change, but you watch his shoulders drop as a little bit more of that lingering tension from back in the RV eases out of him.
“It means,” He says, “That the van’s gonna be sitting right here,”
You follow the motion when he points you back to the shoulder of the road, and you stand trying to imagine the big-bodied vehicle sitting there like a crouching beast, the way you’ve seen hundreds of times before.
“…and?” You prompt, stretching the word lyrically as you turn on your heel to face him again, gently urging him to get to the point.
It’s nearly pitch black now, and the others will be expecting you back. The last thing you need is Steve getting his panties in a twist and sending out a search party.
“And… if something happens – if things go wrong and you can’t make it back, I want you to go for the van.” Eddie says solemnly, reaching down and taking your hand, “Shut the doors and barricade yourself inside. You’ll be safe there until I can come and get you.”
You feel your face pull into a frown.
“That’s not part of the plan.” You tell him, gently admonishing him for trying to change things in secret.
Eddie heaves another one of those world weary sighs and shakes his head, messy curls dancing silver in the moonlight across the broad stretch of his shoulders.
“Fuck the plan.” He bites. “It’s a stupid plan.”
You open your mouth to protest such a dismissal — it’s the only plan you’ve got — but he’s quick to continue before you can get a word in edgewise.
“Look, I’m not gonna sit here and try to convince you not to do this – you’re so goddamn stubborn, we’ll be here all night – but I am gonna do everything I can to make sure you’ll be safe when things go wrong.”
“None of us can afford that luxury…”
He shakes his head.
“I don’t want to fight about it. Steve’s right. We’ve gotta make sure we’ve got our bases covered, including but not limited to the worst-case scenario.”
Which is to say in the event that everything goes horribly wrong and the monsters eat you alive and Vecna destroys the world.
Or maybe just in case the inevitability that you realize you’re not a track star and this being an impossible thing you’re trying to accomplish catches up to you.
How fast can you run? More importantly, how long can you keep up a sprint like that?
The answer is not something you’re expressly sure you’re ready to consider, but of course Eddie has to consider those possibilities — he’s a cynic.
Bad news first, always. Lucky for the both of you, you’ve always been more of an optimist.
“It’s a little over a mile from the Creel place to home,” Eddie says, and you glance reflexively down at your watch, conveniently forgetting that you’d given it to Steve before you left.
You give a lopsided shrug to try and mask the motion.
“Steve said ten minutes… I can totally do that.”
Eddie frowns.
“You think so?”
No, you really don’t, but you’re not about to let him know that because if you do you’ll never hear the end of it. So instead, you offer a vague gesture that you hope is at least half as casual as you mean for it to be. It doesn’t feel like a successful move.
“Yeah,” You say, your voice squeaks out an octave higher than normal, and you press your lips into a tight line against how scared you suddenly sound, “Sure, why not?”
Because you’re not a track star? Because you’d nearly killed yourself just jogging across town less than three days ago and now you’re out here pretending like you’re some kind of Olympic gold medalist preparing for the hundred-yard dash?
Eddie gives you a hard, indiscernible look that makes your insides squirm. Somehow you know he can see right through the bullshit coating to your gooey, terrified center.
You watch as he searches your face for the answer to an unknowable question, and you see a quick flash of the feeling you’d only just managed to suppress. It’s brief, but it’s clear as day, illuminating his features like a bolt of lightning in the distance.
Doubt.
You know he’d never say so, but he clearly doesn’t think you can do this. Usually that would have been enough to stir up some kind of violent indignation in you, but suddenly you’re not entirely sure you can do this either.
Sure, you’d done your fair share of sprints in gym class, but this isn’t jogging a twelve-minute mile just to scrape by with a passing grade, this isn’t even making a mad dash from the boat house to the woods to try and escape Jason and the others – which had failed miserably, as Eddie had so graciously pointed out to you.
This is running as hard and fast as you can until your body is pumping battery acid and your legs threaten to buckle beneath you. It’s running for your goddamn life and the lives of everyone else involved.
If you don’t make it, no one does, so no pressure, right?
“How far did you say it was?” You squeak, swallowing hard to try and conceal the tremble in your voice.
“A mile…” Eddie says, “Maybe closer to two.”
Well, shit.
Still, you scoff and dismiss the notion with a wave.
“Easy peasy–” You lie.
He shakes his head and chides your flippancy with a gravelly utterance of your name, which you candidly ignore.
“–lemon squeezy.”
Eddie says your name again, harsher this time, and grabs you by the arm in an effort to try and bring you back down to earth from the cloud of your delusions, but a sudden flash of lights stops your arguing before it can begin again.
Headlights on the road warn you of the car coming around the bend and send your heart rocketing up into your throat.
Eddie swears harshly under his breath and takes your hand as you scramble back toward the treeline.
He pulls you down into the underbrush and you don’t even mind the way your hip lights up in pain as you land awkwardly, holding your breath as you watch the pickup come into view.
It rolls down the road at a glacial pace, adorned with four angry floodlights that illuminate your little copse of woods and briefly blind you.
Through the spots and colors dancing across your vision, you can only just make out the handful of bodies stuffed into the cab, two more kneeling in the truck bed with roving flashlights in one hand and guns in the other.
Christ, they’ve got guns…
You sink a little lower and move instinctually closer to Eddie as if somehow you’ll be able to shield him from them if it comes to it. As if your fragile, fleshy visage would do anything to protect him if they came out guns blazing.
Smarter than trying to make a human shield out of yourself would be to run, but could either of you really outrun a truck if your lives depended on it?
Not likely.
It makes you wonder how you ever expect to outrun these supposed giant vampire bats…
You suddenly feel trapped, like a rabbit, crouched and shaking in the underbrush under the threat of baying hounds, watching with wide unblinking eyes until the truck has passed on and the crunch and pop of tires on pavement fades into the night.
When it’s finally gone, you do your best to breathe deep against the stinging adrenaline coursing through your veins like a swarm of angry hornets, but suddenly your chest feels impossibly tight.
Steve was right, this was not a very smart thing for you to do and it's well past time you ought to be getting back.
Before you can think to say something, you feel Eddie’s touch as he guides you to look at him with a kind pressure on your jaw. You let him turn you and as you stare back into those big, sad eyes of his, you can’t help but feel a cold wave of doubt bleed into you.
How the hell are you going to do this? How could you be stupid enough to volunteer in the first place and why’d you put up such a fight about it?
What’s going to happen when you let everyone down?
You’re all going to get yourselves killed, that’s what.
For a moment, it’s all you can do to keep yourself together as you surge forward without thinking, nestling into the crook of his neck and his welcoming embrace. You sigh under the press of his arms as he pulls you close.
You take a handful of deep, staccato breaths, breathing him in and filling your head with the heady musk of everything that is wholly Eddie — sweat and smoke and sandalwood.
It takes you half a minute to stop shaking, and half a minute more before you feel whole enough to emerge. You offer him a weak smile when you do.
Eddie tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear and grips your shoulders firm enough that you’re half inclined to think you might bruise.
“Listen to me. Nobody needs you to be the hero here, okay?” he tells you, giving you a gentle shake for good measure. “You’ve already done enough, you don’t have to do this,”
You, in turn, reach up to bracket his face. He leans into it in a way you must think is instinctual at this point, and when your grip slides down to frame his neck, gracing the columns of his throat, you think for a moment you might kiss him, and if you don’t he’ll certainly kiss you.
Oh, how you wish he would.
Your eyes dart southward to regard the pillowy softness of his lips, cracked and chapped as they are, and you try to believe his words, despite how patently untrue they are — he still needs you.
“Everybody’s counting on me, Eds.” You hum, then tear your gaze up and away to meet his.
You watch as something flashes across his eyes, an indiscernible look that is tinged with an unmistakable sadness.
“Then promise me you’ll go for the van if you don’t think you’re gonna make it, okay?… Sweetheart, please… just do this one thing for me.”
You don’t answer, because you’re not entirely sure you can make that promise.
His expression softens and he breathes out a shaky, uneven breath, shoulders sagging as he tilts forward and presses his forehead to yours.
“What you said back at Rick’s goes both ways, you know?” He murmurs, “…I can’t lose you either… Not again.”
Your heart swells and thumps heavily against your ribs.
“What are you getting at, Munson?” You tease, because it’s all you can do to keep your emotions from bubbling up. “Spit it out.”
Eddie shakes his head, looking positively miserable as he speaks.
“I love you.” He says, “More than anything – more than everything, and I can’t … Jesus Christ, I’m so scared something’s going to happen and I won’t be there to save you…”
The sound tumbles out over your lips before you’re even aware of it bubbling up inside of you.
You giggle, and Eddie jerks back from you like the sound had jumped out and snapped at him.
You can’t help it, but it doesn’t make you feel any less guilty to see the hurt look he gives you, like a freshly kicked puppy.
You’re not laughing at him, per se, but you can understand how it might seem like you are. Nobody likes to be reminded of their shortcomings, so you’re quick to correct yourself.
“Oh, Eddie…” you sigh, smiling sweetly at him in the hopes it will ease the sting of what you’re about to say, “I love you, but this isn't the kind of thing you can save me from.”
It shouldn’t be startling, because it’s true. He'd said it himself, this is a suicide mission at its very best.
What is startling is the way Eddie reacts to hearing you say it, physically recoiling like you’d reached out with the sentiment and slapped him across the face.
“What did you just say?” Eddie gasps.
Suddenly he’s as serious as a heart attack and you’re worried you’ve misread the room. It leaves you reeling.
“...You can't save me?” You squeak out, half afraid of the hurt the statement is going to cause him if you ram it down his throat, despite how maddeningly true it is.
If things go as bad as he expects them to — which, to be quite honest, they very likely will — you don't expect Eddie is going to be able to pull you out of the frying pan, or the fire that follows, no matter how badly he wants to.
Still, his eyes grow bright and he shakes his head violently, sending his curls flying out in all directions.
His voice is tiny as he speaks.
“No ... before that." He says. "... you said you love me."
You blink back at him in a way you imagine must look owlish and quite stupid, and you watch as he grows strangely shy.
It only serves to deepen your confusion.
"...Did you mean that?" Eddie asks tentatively.
You don't answer right away, though not because you don't, only because the question is startling and you don't expressly know what to say.
The silence that hangs between you is charged and infinite, and suddenly you’ve left the question unanswered too long.
You watch as something akin to disappointment shadows his features. He sighs and pushes up from your hiding spot in the underbrush, and stalks away out toward the road.
It occurs to you much too late that a stunned silence was perhaps not the best way to answer that question, but it had been jarring at worst and deeply confusing at best.
Of course you love him. You feel it so fully with every particle of your being that at times you feel like it’s going to tear you apart, even now after all this time when things ought to have evened out between you.
You’ve certainly told him as much often enough that you’ve worried in the past that the words are losing meaning … how could he think that you don’t?
When was the last time you told him? Surely, out in the field? …No? Well, you definitely told him back in the clearing in the woods after he told you that stupid story and set your hand? Then again maybe not… Back at Rick’s place? No, that was him…
Your heart drops into your stomach as the truth dawns on you.
Oh shit... you haven’t told him.
How could you have not told him?
You scramble to your feet and nearly topple over in your mad attempt to get through the underbrush to follow him.
“Eddie, wait–” You start, taking clumsy steps toward him before he staves off your progress with a wave of his hand.
“Look, it’s fine, okay? I know you don’t feel the same way, but I don’t want you to say it if it’s not true.” He says, "I don't need you placating me just so I won't have hurt feelings or something—"
“Who says I don’t?” You demand.
It stops him in his tracks.
"What's that mean?" Eddie asks moodily.
"Who says I don't feel the same way?" You say a little slower, putting precise diction into each word, and spelling it out for him on the off chance that there has been a sudden and rapid decrease in IQs out here on the road.
The effect misses its mark. He just stares back at you, bewilderment etching a mask into his features so deep, you wonder idly if you’re ever going to see him make another expression again.
A sticky silence bleeds between you as you both wait for the other to speak.
Finally, you throw up your hands in frustration as you realize that between the two of you, you're the one who has suddenly become exceedingly goddamn stupid.
How could you have let Eddie go on thinking you didn't love him? What were you thinking? Nothing at all, apparently. You are a mean and foolish girl, and you cannot believe how incredibly careless you've been.
“I love you, Eddie," You start, "I’ve always loved you, from the moment I met you. That didn’t stop just because you got in your head and decided you weren’t good enough for me or whatever it was… I loved you even when I hated you … I mean — God — I always thought we were gonna get out of Hawkins and get a little place somewhere together... I thought we were gonna…" You roll your eyes and suppress the urge to hide your face then, gesturing vaguely to try and cover the color creeping up your neck, “...you know… get married and stuff…”
You try to imagine how your old friends would have reacted to hear you admit that. How stunned they would have been to find you when you still belonged to them, already daydreaming about wedding bells and little chapels, secretly scrawling your name sandwiched between Mrs. Munson all over your notebooks.
It’s embarrassing, but it doesn’t make it any less true.
It’s part of what had made the breakup so goddamn hard — you hadn’t seen it coming, you’d fully expected to spend the rest of your lives together.
Eddie makes a choked sound that is somewhere caught halfway between a scoff and something harsher. He blinks back the wetness suddenly brimming in his eyes as he reaches up to rub a calloused hand at the back of his neck.
“Guess I really went and fucked that up for you, huh?” He sniffs.
You shrug.
“Who says?” You ask, and when Eddie rolls his eyes, you double down, “Nothing’s changed, Eds—”
“Everything’s changed.” He stresses, stalking back across the clearing to close the gap between you, "How can you say that after all the shit I said ... everything I did? Everything is changed."
Suddenly you’re standing toe to toe, just like you had all those months back in front of the trailer, last summer.
Somehow the roles feel reversed now as you meet his watery gaze and feel the looming threat of the same choice hanging above your head like a guillotine.
He's right. Everything has changed, but who says you have to accept that? You know he would take it back if he could — the terrible choice he’d made — so who says you have to make the same mistake here and now?
You know better.
You shake your head and watch something akin to terror flash briefly across Eddie’s face at the prospective rejection.
How pleased you are to be able to prove him wrong.
“Not for me,” You say matter-of-factly, “I still love you.”
Like breaking the surface, he breathes out harshly through his nose and his shoulders sag under the effort of it.
“...You do?” Eddie asks, painfully hopeful, boyish even.
You can’t help the way your face begins to split into a slow, delighted grin. Finally, you get to mend something that is broken rather than being the one who broke it in the first place.
You nod.
“I do.”
“...Say it again.” He pleads, eyes flashing with strange and wild desperation, despite the way he’s begun to mirror your smile even before you say it.
You love him and he knows it, he has to know it.
“I love you,” You repeat, reaching up to curl your fingers around his biceps and giving him a gentle shake for good measure, “Even though you’re a big stupid jerk.”
He breathes out a wet, shaky laugh and suddenly he looks so fragile you can’t help but pull him a little closer.
Before you can admonish him for being so foolish as to think anything otherwise, his hands come up to frame your face, and he presses a searing kiss to your lips. It steals your breath and your eyes roll shut without your prompting.
You barely have time to process that you really ought not to be doing this so exposed, as chaste as the little kisses he’s begun peppering your face with are. He kisses you again and again, like he physically could not stop himself from kissing you if he tried.
You don’t think he’s trying very hard.
You’re in danger of being seen, standing so close to the road like this. Still, each gentle press of his lips is punctuated with a shaky utterance of his gratitude, blessing you for the reciprocation of the feeling, like he’s been holding his breath just waiting to hear you say it.
He pulls back a moment to stare reverently at you, searching your features like he's trying to commit them to memory.
You don't let him go very far, clinging to him like you're afraid you'll lose him if you let him go.
"You love me?" he says breathlessly, less a question than a statement of fact.
He nods slowly to prompt you to do the same, and you obey, but he hardly lets you.
Any need to hear you say it again is evidently superseded by the need to keep kissing you, this time it is a hard, wet thing pressed so forcefully to your lips you can hardly move against it.
A peal of joyful laughter bubbles up out of you and you love, love, love.
You feel the curl of his mouth as Eddie kisses you again, muffling the sound with his lips and pulling you that much tighter against him, tight enough that you finally feel him slip back into place to fill the hole he’d left in you last summer, and for the first time in almost a year, everything is right. It fills you with joy.
Blinding, unadulterated, stupefying joy.
It’s almost enough to make you forget the danger looming, and how once you turn around and head back to rejoin the others, you’ll very likely be going to your deaths…
#cruel summer fic#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#stranger things fic#eddie munson fanfic#joseph quinn eddie munson#joseph quinn fic
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