#So they just wing the hell gotta it'

[wonderwomanpleasesteponme]

Transformers Animated Swap au.

(Be warned any ficlets of this au is written in no particular order and some things may be subject to change as I progress with this au)

Along Came a Spider

The Space bridge repair crew have been on Earth long enough for the seasons to have changed. According to Sari the humans have this tradition called Halloween that seemingly lasts the whole month of October but is really just the last day of the month, only artist celebrate the whole month with a practice known as Inktober. Which is why Bulkhead, Wasp, Sari and Elita-1 were at a pumpkin patch picking out which pumpkin they would like to crave. Well, only Sari, Wasp and Bulkhead were choosing pumpkins, Elita was staring at the faint fake spider hanging above the entrance of the pumpkin patch.

Memories of that awful day were threatening to resurface after years of trying her damnist to forget them. Elita may have been on the fast track to becoming a member of the Elite Guard at one point in her life but after Archa 7 Elita tried to forget about that and and pretend that she was always a maintenance bot. If she knew Earth had spiders she would have reconsidered staying on Earth for a long as they have and went full force with repairing their ship but now it was too late for that.

Elita shuttered at the fake spider and returned with the rest of the group. Soon after Bulkhead accidentally destroying the pumpkin that Wasp and Sari picked out and Wasp playfully making fun of Bulkhead for it. Bulkhead's expression sored a little bit but soon brightened back up. From what Elita understood Wasp and Bulkhead were apart of the same platoon back when they were in Autobot boot camp, that Wasp wasn't the nicest of bots back then and that something happened that, from what she could infer from Bulkhead and Wasp's arguments was Wasp's fault, that Bulkhead and his best friend from boot camp wer sperated to never see each other again. It painfully reminded her of the friendship she once had with Optimus and Sentinel before Archa 7, but thankfully their time on Earth and with Sari's interference the two have begun the slow process of actually becoming friends.

When they got back to base the trio immediately started to think of what they should dress up as.

"Oh, Wasp, you should dress up as a fuzzy little bumblebee, since you know you're like a, well wasp, and bumblebees are like wasps but cuter and still pack a sting!"said Sari full of energy.

Bulkhead's face dropped and turned into one of somber while Wasp's flashed with anger for a moment.

"No," said Wasp bluntly and a little too quickly.

"Yeah Bumblebee did have quite the sting," whispered Bulkhead in a quite tone that no one else in the room heard.

Sari's smile faded upon seeing Wasp and Bulkhead's reactions.

"Or maybe you could go as a vampire?" asked Sari nervously.

"Of crouse I would," said Wasp whose expression immediately softened up.

After a few more hours and the team accidentally discovering Elita had a fear of spiders when Sari decided to prank her with a toy spider, Wasp, Sari and Bulkhead were all ready to go. Bulkhead had somehow found a sheet big enough to fit his whole body to complete his ghost costume and falling through with his promise Wasp was dressed as a vampire. Sari had said that her costume was a surprise so she didn't tell them what she was going as until she arrived fully dressed. Elita was definitely surprised when Sari showed up dressed up as her. A cardboard box was wrapped around her little buddy drawn and coloured to look like Elita's body and she was even wearing a blonde wig in a ponytail to emulate Elita's head.

After her failure on Archa 7 to save her best friend, someone she would dare to call her brother, Elita didn't think that anyone would be looking up to her, unless they were shorter than her which was true for Sari, but here Sari was dressed up as her to go trick or treating with the two youngest members of their team. Elita had said that she was flattered but she wasn't going with them.

.

.

.

It had only taken a few hours for everything to go to scrap. Elita was listening into Wasp and Bulkhead's conversation via their com links when she heard that Wasp had spotted something that resembled a giant spider. Upon hearing that Elita had immediately let her easdropping known and left for their current location.

Elita and Optimus were defending themselves from the giant organic spiders that were surrounding them from all sides. They had no other choice but to blow up the energon that was stored in the Decepticon warship. While escaping the explosion the worst happened. Optimus' grapple missed it's mark, which until then was something that had never happened, and the young autobot fell to his death. If it wasn't the explosion that killed him the spiders definitely did. Primus did Elita hope the explosion is what offlined her old friend and he wasn't eaten by the spiders.

.

.

.

Suddenly a giant spider dropped down in between Wasp and Bulkhead. Bulkhead was frozen in shock while Wasp immediately activated his stingers and took aim at the giant spider. Shocking everyone there even more than they already were the giant spider transformered into a 'bot. It transformered.

The first thing they noticed about the mech in front of them was that he had two long spider legs that shot up attached to his back and the back half of a spider attached to his waist. The mech was painted black and purple with gold highlights with some dark blue thrown in. The next thing they noticed was that he had four eyes, each glowing in a menacing red. The final thing the trio noticed was the Decepticon logo on his neck armor, the logo itself looked beaten up and had scratch marks all around like if the 'con had tried to remove it.

The 'con moved fast and in a blink of an optic was right in front of Wasp.

"Now hold still so my friend could actually see you this time!"yelled Wasp, calling Bulkhead had a bitter taste in his intake after everything he had did to him.

The 'con looked a Wasp lowering himself to the minibot's eye level. Wasp was taken aback by this, not just the fact the menacing 'con was now making eye contact with him but the look in the 'con's optics. Wasp didn't know how to describe it, the 'con somehow looked tired, angry, calm and sad at the same time.

"I'm not here for you two I'm here for something else, something that, probably wouldn't give me fully my old life back but something close, and an escape," said the 'con, even though he sounded calm on the surface but he underneath the calmness he sounded tired.

"I'm not sure we have what in the Pit you're talking about but we have nothing that could help you and if we did we won't help a 'con like you," spat Wasp taking aim at the larger bot in front of him.

The 'con laughed at the smaller bot's comment before turning his body to look at Sari. That was when it hit them he was after the key.

"You're not taking my friend's key!"yelled Bulkhead as he turned servo into a wrecking ball and started to go into place to swing it.

Before either of them could make a move the 'con had sturked them both with some kind of vemon that knocked them out.

"I wasn't asking," said the 'con coldly.

The 'con turned to the little girl and tried to give her a reassuring smile, which failed miserably seeing as that he had just knocked out two of her friends and he had razor sharp teeth.

"Don't worry they're not dead just unconscious," said the 'con as Sari tried to use her key to wake them up, "also my vemon is organic and the key of yours doesn't work on organics".

Sari looked up at the 'con that was towering her with fear in her eyes.

"What do you want?" Sari asked with wide eyes.

"I think I said that already, I'm looking for something to give me an escape and my old life back," said the 'con, "and I think that key of yours would be helpful in that".

Sari was unsure of what to think the 'con seemed genuinely upset about something and angry lashing out at anyone and anything. But, then again he had hurt her friends but they did went to attack him first.

The 'con dropped down on one knee to be closer to Sari's height. He tried to give her a soft soft smile before beginning to speak once more.

"The others back on the warship called me The Black Spider, I had a different designation a long time ago but now that's in the past," said Black Spider sounding genuinely sad while telling Sari he used to have a different name in the past.

Black Spider suddenly got up and went to grab Sari's but before he could Elita had arrived and tackled him to the ground. The two begun to fight with Black Spider pinning Elita to the side of the building.

"Look, Elita, I just want that key to try something," said Black Spider through gritted teeth.

Elita looked surprised for a moment before regaining her composure.

"How do you know my name?" Elita asked the larger 'bot.

"Everycon knows the name of the 'bot who supposedly defeated and offlined Megatron," said Black Spider but for a moment he also seemed surprised to be asked that.

Black Spider picked Elita up and threw her before making a break towards Sari. Black Spider used his webbing to tie Sari up before using it make to escape.

"Sorry, change of plans," said Black Spider to the frightened child.

Sari struggled against the 'con before Elita using Wasp's stings managed to hit Black Spider sending both of them crashing on the top of a building. Upon getting up Black Spider gently put Sari down onto the ground before using his webs to tie her to a wall. As soon as Elita landed the two immediately began to fight each other.

"I know all of your moves, Elita, pure textbook Autobot Academy," said Black Spider as he dodged all of Elita's attacks.

"Do I know you?" Elita asked genuinely confused on how he knew all her moves.

"I don't forget things as easily as you forget your friends!" Black Spider spat with venom in his voice, "but you did manage to remember Sentinel!".

Elita's energon ran cold as she finally recognized her combatten.

"Optimus?" Elita hesitatedly asked.

"Oh now you remember me, not that I blame you I look every different nowadays," said Black Spider sounding rather sad whilst confirming his identity to be that of Elita's long thought dead friend.

Elita took a step back her head was figuratively spinning because of this knew information. Elita looked saddened at the Decepticon symbol on his neck armor.

"I see you've joined the Decepticons," said Elita sadden to see her former friend join the Decepticons.

"Not like I had a choice in the matter!" Black Spider yelled dangerously close to breaking down while falling to his knees.

Elita approached her former friend and placed her hands on his shoulders in other to comfort him. Elita took note of how he flinched when she placed her hands on his shoulders. She will hurt whoever made him so afraid.

"Then tell me, old friend what happened?" Elita asked with genuine care and sadness in her voice.

Black Spider embraced into Elita's touch. Elita could tell that Black Spider was severely touch starved. Elita was definitely going to hurt someone. When Black Spider remained silent Elita asked again.

"Who did this to you?"

"That son of a glitch Decepticon scientist, Shockwave, he did this to me!" Black Spider yelled.

Black Spider wrapped both of his arms around Elita's stomach area and pulled her into a tight hug. This was a genuinely distressing for Sari to watch. She wondered what kind of horrors took place during the war that the others didn't tell her.

"After I fell, I tried my best to fend off the spiders but eventually a good number of them bit me sinking their venom into my body, I should have died, but instead I went into a sort of stasis lock mode, and when I awoke I was in a laboratory strapped to a medical breth with a purple warframe with one optic and clawed servos

"I immediately recognized that he was a victim of the empurata procedure, which has been banned by the high council after the war had ended so I knew that he was an old 'bot that likely has been around since before the war, I later learnt that his name was Shockwave, I slipped in and out of conscience for the next few solar cycles and each time I woke up I was different, he turned me into some techno-organic freak!

"After being fully situated with my 'new and improved', as he called it, body they branded me with the decepticon logo and forced me to be one of them, I didn't want to but I had no choice because even if I somehow escaped I would never be expected back into Autobot society as part organic, you know how much the others hate anything organic," Black Spider explained sounding like he was going to snap any moment.

Black Spider's story was a truly upsetting one to hear. Sari was shock to find out that most Cybertronians hate organics but was thankful that she meant the ones that did like them. Sari felt truly bad for Black Spider and wished she could help him, maybe she'll let him try use the key on himself to see if it could restore his original body or at least fix his broken mind, even then Sari knew you can't just magic away trauma.

"Nonsense you were practically Ultra Magnus' sparkling even before we joined Autobot Academy together," said Elita whilst giving her broken friend a hug.

"No, he would be the first to say that they need to lock me up and experiment on me," said Black Spider looking up at Elita from where he was kneeling.

Elita looked away from her old friend, she didn't know Ultra Magnus how he would take something like this or respond to it.

"Look, Optimus-".

"It's Black Spider now,".

"Black Spider, there's always a place for you in team E-1, I'm sure the others wouldn't mind, I'm sure they'll give you a nice warm welcome, maybe not Wasp but I'm sure with some encouragement from the others he'll come around," said Elita to the kneeling mech and saying the last bit with Wasp with slight humor.

Black Spider looked up at Elita before beginning to raise.

"Maybe one day I'll take you up on that offer, but for now I'll like to figure things out on my own," replied Black Spider.

Soon after getting up and unbinding Sari from the wall he left. Elita looked guilt ridden, angry and sad, mostly sad though. Sari felt like Elita wouldn't want to talk about what had just happened so for now Optimus being Black Spider and the Cybertronian equivalent of a human experiment was going to be a secret between the two of them, at least until Elita was ready to talk.

.

.

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The two made their way down the building just when Bulkhead and Wasp arrived.

"Aww come on, we missed the action!" exclaimed Wasp.

The two females didn't say anything to Bulkhead and Wasp which tipped them off to the fact that they didn't want to talk about whatever had happened. Without a word Elita transformed into vehicle mode while Sari claimed into Bulkhead and begun their trip back to the plant and Bulkhead's to Sumdac Tower to drop Sari off.

"Hey Bulkhead, how would you take it if one day your best friend whom you thought was dead suddenly showed up one day and was a decepticon?" Sari asked the large 'bot.

"I would never recover from the fact my best friend was a decepticon and spend way too long grieving over the person I thought I knew," replied Bulkhead thinking about his boot camp days.

'That is what I've been doing for stellar cycles now,' Bulkhead mentally added.

Sari fell silent and the rest of the ride was like that in complete silence. Both Sari and Elita hoped that sooner rather than later Black Spider would take Elita's offer of becoming a member of the team up.

[themachine]

[danwhobrowses]

5 Underrated Things or Tactics That May Aid Bell's Hells to Victory

Spoilers up to Campaign 3 Episode 116 below

Well Critters, it all comes down to this.

Vox Machina dismantled the Malleus Keep, killed Ozo (the Bozo) Kruft, and freed the Champion of Ravens which removed the tidal lock on Ruidus, and now the Mighty Nein have disintegrated the Weave Mind, completing essentially a full dismantling of the Kreviris Imperium, all of which quicker than I anticipated. All that's left is the Hallowed Cage, where Ludinus Da'leth and his inner circle are using his harness to try and fully destroy Liliana Temult. Bell's Hells begin a race against time to save her, but also a race to defeat Ludinus before he unleashes his intentions unto Exandria and its Pantheon with Predathos, and then decide for themselves what they do with the God Eater.

Suffice to say, and I dunno about everyone else but, I am terrified. I believe they can win but Ludinus is not to be underestimated, this second harness means he may be stronger - and he was already the strongest wizard alive - and have access to more powers compared to his simulacra, plus Predathos may come during or after this battle, which can put the Hells in a weakened state. Matt has likely prepared his best and worst for this final battle too, but the Hells aren't Lv. 20 combatants like the other groups; there's no 9th level spells, no Divine Intervention, and the group lost their cleric ~20 episodes back, so even though VM and the Nein were ultimately successful within 1-2 episodes having to use both of their auto-succeed Divine Interventions from their two clerics in the process, this is the battle. And with that is a ridiculous amount of tension for Ludinus and for what comes after. For all we know, the cast may've already recorded ahead enough to have finished the final fight, maybe even finished the campaign (though I hope not, partly because I don't want it to end yet but also I feel like the dawn of the new era should be explored regardless of what choice the Hells make, plus some characters could use a bit more resolution after the big fight and the pressure of stakes and time sensitivity have been alleviated) but for us it's a nervous wait, and a wonder of what can be done to win and what choice will be made to determine the future of Exandria, Ruidus, their faith and their people. So, this is my indulging into that first part, 5 lower-key things or tactics that might not have been initially thought of that could make things easier to defeat Ludinus.

Liliana, the Inner Circle, and the Arcane Battery Provided that the Hells make it in time to stop Liliana from being totally destroyed by the harness (which is very possible since Laudna does have that tracking spell on him since Aeor, it's all about speed and not running into enemies) she will still be without her magic to fight. Ludinus' inner circle holding her down is comprised of Reilorans but also other Ruidusborns, and that's something the Hells can expose. Liliana cannot fight, but Ruidusborns can take spell slots from each other, so Liliana and any KO'd Ruidusborns from the inner circle can be used as spell slot fuel for Imogen and Fearne. Ludinus also gave a 9-slot fully-charged Arcane Battery to the Hells in order to trigger Delilah within Laudna for his escape, the battery can help recharge Laudna's slots too which makes this tactic handy for the witches of the group.

Dunamancy One of Ludinus' most important tools for his plan has been Luxon Beacons, a device able to unravel even divine magic, but much like the Harness it can prove his undoing. Dunamancy hasn't been touched upon as much as early C3 hinted it could have, but for lack of a better phrase, the possibilities are still endless. The Hells have multiple Potions of Possibility at their disposal to aid with rolls, but they also were given a Sphere of Dunamantic Restoration by the Kryn, which will trigger the effects of a Short Rest and a health and spell slot recharge - which can be handy in a pinch and to reuse some once per short rest abilities. Ashton is the key factor though, I've mentioned it a few times already but we don't know if these items will behave differently with them, via their own internal dunamancy abilities. Given the unknown factor, that's why it's not deemed as much of a tactic as it is a Hail Mary, but it is one that could lead to Ludinus' own magic unraveling, and maybe even Predathos' too

The Whirling Dervish & Conditional Advantages In Vassalheim, Dorian received his family sword: Gambolcleft, the Vortex Blade. One of its yet to be used abilities involves a once a day repetitive use of striking an enemy, similar to how Ozo killed Vex, provided that they attack with Disadvantage. Dorian is already looking at a high attack roll given Gambolcleft's +3 to attack and hit rolls, and Master's Flourish means he doesn't have to use a Bardic Inspiration to stack a Blade Flourish (Defensive Flourish is probably best, the damage is also doubled by Gambolcleft), the only quibble is the disadvantage. Fortunately, most of the Hells have skills that can force Ludinus into conditions where attacks would do advantage on him: stunning and rendering him prone being most likely, but paralysis is possible if a Hold Person is successful. It would of course require his Legendary Resistances to be used up first, but if Ludinus gets stunned or knocked prone within Dorian's range, Gambolcleft could easily carve its way through him with continual hits, stacked potentially by Bless and Mark of the Messy End, for perpetual damage and make Dorian himself impossible to hit on his next turn. Stunning or Proning Ludinus also leaves Ludinus at the vicious mercy of the martial players, especially for conditions that auto-crit when hit.

The Hole (or the Bag of Holding) Occam's Razor. An old but gold tactic of the Hells could very easily be used against Ludinus too. The portable hole or the bag of holding are devoid of air, left in one long enough with it sealed would mean suffocation as have been the fate of many of the Hells' past opponents that they didn't have time to deal with. The Hole's downside is that a Strength check can lead to a creature forcing their way out, but the Hells do have plenty of skills that can impose disadvantage on Strength rolls and the aforementioned conditions could help that, Ashton's Hammer may also make it more difficult to unfold the Hole if its Immovable Rod is propped atop of it - but that'd be down to Matt's discretion. The Bag of Holding doesn't have the strength save, but it is smaller so it may not be able to fit him in it. I'm not sure if Ludinus can use Gate to escape either, dunno if that leads to the whole extradimensional rip thing that happens if you open one while in the other, but if he does it's a concentration spell so the Hells could just keep knocking him back from the other side, a bigger group of enemies in either also reduces the time needed before they suffocate.

The Harness and the One-Chance Polymorph Right now Ludinus is using a harness to destroy Liliana, comparing it to the one in Moleasmyr it'll potentially take about an hour to finish the process providing that this factor wasn't improved upon. However, removing magic within a being for a whole day only required a minute of contact in the Hells' one and maybe Ludinus', thus his creation and reason for long life and power can also be the key to his downfall. Holding Ludinus down for a minute is of course not as easy as it sounds but that's where Polymorph can come in. Polymorph lasts at most an hour, so as long as Ludinus is changed into a creature that can easily be restrained they can use the harness on it and remove Ludinus of his entire arsenal in order to finish him off without the risk of his high level spells. The tricky part is getting Polymorph to succeed; Wisdom is after all a Wizard's bread and butter, but there is a single gambit that could make it work. It requires all Legendary Resistances to be gone of course, and for Laudna and Braius to be conscious; Braius has a once per long rest ability to change a Wisdom saving throw to a Charisma one, which he used to allow Dorian to succeed in making the Dominox dance in the live show, Laudna's Void Puppet can force disadvantage on saves to those within 5ft of it, which will negate his magical resistance to just a clean roll. Orym can also use Hex to impose a disadvantage, which may be able to stack, but this would also hinge on Ludinus' charisma not being super high and if the Polymorph fails once it will likely not be able to be tried again.

The fight won't be easy, but there are avenues that can make it less dangerous, a strategy is very much required for such a foe. All the while my strategy remains keeping up the prayer circle. Deep breaths everyone.

[manasurge]

Got Mourynn's first fullbody ref done! (I mean first as in chronologically). Not much to say here, just getting some early year fullbody refs done so I can have them to start on some scenes and lore stuff (just gotta finish her Orchid outfit next since that's her main Sapling outfit before she makes her own custom one). I'm also not used to drawing this small so I messed up the face a bit, on the side there, but oh well.

Below the cut is just the line art and the transparent that I'm hoping will work properly on her Hero Panel profile on Toyhouse:

[clevervonskelli]

I'm trying to focus on what I liked about Episode 7 and my brain is just looping a few things.

-Was that Colonel Alkire at the camp heading up compound staff? I missed if he was named, but if so, I'm quite pleased to see him.

-Frank Murphy getting a letter from his mom ❤️

-The way the show approached the Great Escape. They managed to keep the focus entirely on the tragedy and incredulousness of the situation, and on how it could directly impact the American prisoners in the other compounds. It felt very balanced and very Great Escape in the context of MotA, not Great Escape eclipsing the show.

- MUSTANGS!!!!! MotA is a bomber-centric show and B-17s are incredible in how they can be beat to hell and keep flying, but fighter planes will always be my first love when it comes to WWII.

-Von Lindeiner's removal from his position as commodant being mentioned. He's someone I find very interesting, plus it's nice to have that hint of how there was a whole world of politics going on when it came to the running of the camps and the tension between the Luftwaffe and the Gestapo.

- I loved all the fountain pen shots we got to see this ep when folks were writing.

[skaluli]

Great Blue bonus timelapse of me lining a singular wing (don't mind meatcanyon or my blunt pen nib that doesn't register a press at times since i'm to stubborn to replace it)

[omarwolaeth]

Hearing some thoughts on Rin's lines about Clear Wing.

I don't disagree that it feels off-putting or wrong (whichever you prefer to describe it as), but I imagine her reasoning doesn't necessarily boil down to seeing herself as above Yuugo (though it's very possible it partially is; they both lived in a dog eat dog world - the City - and they're commons to boot - so they're fighting one another to duel Jack up until she's kidnapped, even if Yuugo says they were going to do it together), as much as it boils down to her being the responsible one.

Yuugo really isn't, so it might possibly be that, given how dependable of a monster Clear Wing (and Crystal Wing) are, Rin thinks her burn deck is a better fit for such a monster than Yuugo's luck based deck. The answer to this is obviously no as soon as anything to do with Zarc or Ray comes into the picture (Clear Wing and Yuugo are both cut from the same quarter of the Supreme King Dragon, even if it was by En Winds.)

Or, Rin is probably jealous she doesn't have effect negation in her monsters, and is bullying Yuugo about it because she's seemingly never really dealt with her frustrations in any other way (because Yuugo's always there.) Or maybe because Clear Wing is a unique card and Rin wants a copy too.

Alternatively, this is somehow the same thing as Yuuri's sadistic streak; a hold over from their Original self, and Ray decided Clear Wing should've been one of her monsters. As if Zarc would lose one of his dragons without a fight, though.

(Additional note I think is important but couldn't figure out where to put it in; Rin's defeat line in the overworld implies to me that Yuugo expects her to win her matches, like it shouldn't be hard for her. Yuugo's never gotten angry at her even if she's gotten angry at him multiple times and she's probably afraid of what he'd think - either this hasn't happened and she's worried all his frustrations with her would ungracefully tumble out, only putting up with her because she wins and can get food on their table even if we know that wouldn't happen - he loves her so much he'll ramble about her to anyone given half a chance, or it has happened before and Rin doesn't want to experience that sort of thing again, as though it would embarrass her.) (So her self esteem is either rock bottom when it comes to losing. or she's got too much pride to admit any of her losses to the one person who adores her)

[pizza-feverdream]

Do you believe in the concept of soulmates?

Maybe not in the traditional sense, destiny-bound to be with each other and all that. I do think there are certain people out there that one is bound to "click" with bc of different factors, and it's just a matter of finding them. As in, I think I think there are lots of people you could consider your soul mate, but it's up to you to find them. Also, there may be more than one. (I also think a soul mate could be platonic, or in your family.) I think of it as "someone you're close to with your soul", and that can mean whatever you want it to mean.

[dexaroth]

first draft of xor (logic gate placeholder name, im gonna try to incorporate techy stuff into their design) + a past testing ref sheet where half of the lineart is original and half is reused from other drawings + the current pose and overall shape im gonna use for his actual ref whenever i get to finish it lol

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

legit found out gabrielle had been dragged to hell and went straight for the swan dive down there herself. Icon

One time Xena gave up her humanity and became a demon and waged war against heaven, but only because Gabrielle was now an angel and Xena wanted to see her to ask if she'd spend eternity in damnation with her so she wouldn't be alone.

That show was an experience.

[writing-fanics]

don’t mess with the devil

Part ii

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

[warning: angst: mentions of death: death?]

Your movements became sluggish. The wound on your side bleeding more and more with each movement, and swing of your angelic weapon. “Can’t even hold a weapon.” Adam mocked, as she glared at him. Already tired and she looked down at her wound. “Who would’ve thought a fucking human, making a deal with the devil.”

“Was it for dick? It was for dick wasn’t it?” Adam laughed, and mocked. You let out a battle cry flying towards him.

You screamed in pain, as the yellow light shot right through your wing. Your wings started going weak, as you struggled to keep up with Adam’s attacks. He laughed and cackled, taking enjoyment in your struggle.

“Where’s your little boyfriend huh?” He mocked, as more and more yellow shots kept hitting your body. Until you could barely keep your body up, “awe, is he not coming to scared to show his fa-”a fist punched, Adam in the face. Causing him to let go of your chin, but you didn’t fall instead.

A pair of familiar arms held you, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t be here sooner,” said Lucifer, as he nuzzled his head against his partner. Then lifted his head and glared at Adam, eyes fuming with rage.

“Sorry, for being so stubborn.” You mumbled, knowing this was the reason he didn’t want you to fight. Even though, he gave you some of his powers. You were still a human. He nuzzled, his head against yours once more. “It’s okay,” He said, as he landed on the rooftop.

He handed you off to Charlie, his daughter taking your injured body into her arms. She looked down at you worriedly, as you took shallow breaths. Your face battered cuts and bruises covered your face, and your right eye was swollen. Landing on the rooftop, walking towards Adam.

“Huh? Okay? Seriously?” Adam panted, as he stood up slowly. “How many of you freaks do I have to fight?!” He shouted, glaring at them.

Lucifer rolled up his sleeves, as he walked towards Adam. “Oh, I’m the only one that matters.” said Lucifer, as he looked up at Adam angrily.

“See, you messed with my daughter and my partner.” his eyes burning with rage. “and now I’m toning to fuck you!” he shouted, and everyone went silent as they stared at him dumbfounded.

Charlie leaned over, “It’s fuck you up dad?” Charlie whispered, and he looked confused as he raised his eyebrow, “Wait what did I say?” He said, and then Adam flew towards him sending them both into a wall. But Lucifer transformed into a white snake.

You could barely keep your eyes open, as the pain became worse. You didn’t know how much blood you were losing, but knew it was a lot. You were just a mere human, a human who fell in love with the king of hell. Him inevitably giving you some of his power in an act of love.

Your memories of how you ended up in Hell, a blur. You still figuring out a way to at least see your family again. But now that seemed to be in vain. You wondered if this was how it was going to end for you. You wondered, what would happen to you a human dying in hell?

Would you be dead forever no second life? Or would you just enter purgatory?

“So, this is what you’ve been up to since Eden?” said Lucifer, taunting him.

“Gotta say, you really let yourself go buddy.” He said, as he taunted Adam.

Adam laughs, as he grabbed Lucifer by the tail. “You judgin’ me?” He shouted angrily, as he tried to throw him. But he transformed again, this time into a duck. “You’re the most hated being in all of creation.” Adam shouted, angrily looking at him.

“Well, your first wife didn’t seem to hate what I had to offer.” said Lucifer, as he made a V shape with his fingers and dragged it downward from his mouth.

“or the second.” He said looking Adam straight in the face, “Bow-chicka-wow-wow.” He said, as he backed away making a thrusting motion with his hips. Adam lunched at him, and Lucifer transformed into a horse. Kicking him around, “I’ll fuckin’ end you!!” Adam shouted.

Your vision started to blur, as you leaned your head against the wall You didn’t want to die not like this, not without seeing your parents again. Wondering if they’re worried about their missing child, who they haven’t seen in almost a year.

You’ve been stuck in Hell for that long. Lucifer and You, still figuring out a way to get you back. But you always promised that you’d stay in Hell with him, and visit your friends and family once in a while.

Maybe this was to be your fate, dying in Hell. Where would your soul go? You couldn’t imagine the heartbreak your death would bring to both, Charlie and Lucifer. You couldn’t bear the thought of seeing them cry, you’ve grown to love them so much. Seeing Charlie as a child of your own.

Lucifer your partner. The best thing to ever come out of being trapped in Hell. He was so kind and caring, when he found out about your situation. Wanting to help you anyway he could, which led him to falling in love. How his heart swelled whenever you smiled at him, turning his cheeks red.

How seeing you cry made his heartache, knowing you missed your family and friends back on earth. How when that ‘Red Bastard’ at the Hazbin Hotel, took your hand and kissed him while staring mockingly at Lucifer. Boiled his blood.

A smiled grew across your lips, as you grew tired. You were too tired to even notice the beam of light, heading straight towards the hotel. Towards you. Everything went dark.

Y/n?

Y/n?

Y/n!

who’s calling my name?

[aliceramblez]

Dating the Hazbin Hotel Residents 😈

Tags: GN!Reader, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Mature Topics (ie. Suicidal Thoughts, Alcohol Abuse, SA, etc), Spoilers For The Show, etc.

A/N: Ahhh yes, more brainriot for the pile 😌 I was more of a Helluva gal before the show aired, but now I gotta say these blorbos are a dear part of my heart! Hopefully y'all enjoy these as much as I did writing them!

Consider following my main blog @taruchinator for more solid content & feel free to leave a request here for future HCs~

Charlie 🌈

When the Happy Hotel first opened its doors and all of Hell started making a mockery of it, you were probably the only one who took it as a sign to try and improve from the low life that you were. It's not like you had anything else to live for, anyway.

As soon as you enter the building, you're immediately greeted by the bubbly Princess of Hell herself (along with a reluctant Angel Dust) who is more than happy to show you around and welcomes you with open arms.

You've never been shown this much kindness and sympathy for your situation before, so it naturally takes you aback and makes you wonder what the catch is. Turns out there's none and the Princess is probably the only sweet soul to live in this shithole.

As you grow closer, she asks you to drop the title and just call her Charlie. She also shares a bit about her situation and how her mother wanted to save sinners from the extermination each year, and now Charlie felt like it was her duty to continue this legacy until her dreams came true.

You can't help but feel touched over how much she cares, so you silently vow to yourself to help her in any way you can, just like she's done for you.

It doesn't take long before the two of you grow even closer and feelings begin to blossom, but you decide to ignore them since why would a Princess ever like someone like you?

But Charlie proves you wrong yet again, since one day she comes to you a blushing mess and confesses her own feelings, asking if you'd like to go out with her. You can't help but vocalize your shock since she could do so much better than a random sinner. She deserved better, too.

She looks at you with fondness in her eyes. “You've been by my side for so long and supported me every step of the way. Who wouldn't fall for someone like that?”

And thus, you are the luckiest person in Hell because you scored Charlotte Morningstar, and whoever says otherwise can get a knife to their throat.

She's the perfect definition of a sweet and patient girlfriend, never pushing you to do anything you aren't comfortable with (since you really aren't used to such adoration in a romantic relationship), but as soon as you give her the get-go, she'll be sure to shower you with as much affection as she can until the doubts in your mind disappear completely.

You aren't that far behind either. Albeit not as good as her, you do your best to be a comforting partner whenever she needs you. This is especially necessary after an extermination happens, which always leaves Charlie devastated and in need of a hug or words of encouragement because she doubts herself sometimes and wonders if the hotel is even working at all.

You remind her how it brought the two of you together, to which she smiles and agrees that at least something good has come out of it so far.

Vaggie 🎀

Both you and Vaggie used to work in the same legion under Adam with the rest of his exorcists. You knew of each other's existence, but didn't really talk much aside from whatever was needed in the midst of battle.

The day she spares a demon child's life, you're doing your rounds nearby and witness the whole exchange, including Lute coming over and ripping both an eye and Vaggie's wings for showing mercy. You don't know why, but it makes your blood boil.

“HEY! What are you doing?! It was just a kid, why not let it slide?”

And just like that, you become a target of Lute's rage as well, being ripped from your angelic status along with receiving a few nasty cuts, yet surprisingly not as bad as Vaggie herself.

Once the two of you are left to die, you immediately try to tend the girl's wounds with whatever you can. Vaggie can only stare in disbelief at what you'd done and questions why you even did so in the first place—now you were stuck just like she was.

“Guess I just don't like seeing injustice... Who knew Heaven could be so fuckin' shitty?”

You both laugh at the irony of it all, and that's when luck is finally on your side as Charlie finds you in the dirty alley and brings you back to the hotel to heal properly.

For the next three years you two stay at the Hazbin Hotel, helping Charlie in any way you can to try and make her dream a reality since deep down you hope that despite Heaven's corrupt system, there can be a small chance that souls can be redeemed. You hide the fact that you're ex-Anges though, since you don't wanna cause unnecessary drama.

During this time period, the two of you become better friends, having your own inside jokes regarding things you didn't particularly enjoy from your time as Angels, as well as learning more about one another.

You're the one to come to terms with your feelings first and decide to lay them on the table for Vaggie to see—she's always been a straight-to-the-point kind of gal, so if you're about to be rejected, might as well have it be done quick. But of course, she replies with her own declaration and desire to give a relationship a shot, which you're ecstatic about!

It's a bit hard at first since you never got to see much of romantic relationships in Heaven while training for murder every year, but you try and make it work. Both you and Vaggie work endlessly to try and make the other happy, and it only makes you fall for each other even more.

Also Charlie is your go-to wingwoman who will be there to give you the best advice to try and woo your girlfriend. She ships you two so hard.

Angel Dust 🕸

Working at a porn studio under an Overlord who owns your soul can be exhausting. You know this better than anyone since everyone who works under Valentino has contracts that won't let you get far with a leash. This is especially true with your friend Angel Dust.

You know about the things Valentino does to the spider demon—hell, everyone in the studio probably knows, but know better than to say anything about it. You're always there for Angel after particularly rough shoots, doing your best to comfort him in any way you can, though there isn't much you can do given you're in the same spot.

When he tells you he's moving to Princess Charlie's Hazbin Hotel, you're so happy for him! At least that will give him some distance from Valentino and his disgustingly filthy hands when he's not working.

This unsurprisingly doesn't bode well with the Overlord, causing him to throw fits of rage around the studio when Angel leaves for the day. You can't help but make a snarky comment that you definitely regret moments later.

“Can one blame him for wanting space from such an overbearing asshole?”

Without his favorite stress toy around, you end up paying the price for such comments. The kind of pain and suffering he puts you through is completely different from what you're used to. Is this the stuff he does to Angel? He leaves you naked, bruised and bloody in your room, and all you can do is muster what little strenght you have left to head for the Hazbin Hotel.

As soon as the door opens, you immediately tumble forward and start losing consciousness. The last thing you remember is Angel's horrified expression before it all fades to black.

Once you wake up and have been patched up, you explain what happened at the studio, and you could've sworn you saw fire in Angel's eyes as he holds on to you, fearing you might disappear at any moment. He begs you to stay in the hotel with him, and you agree without hesitation.

And so, your new routine of heading to work and then coming back to the hotel becomes blissful, not having to deal with that lunatic mothman more than necessary. You also get to spend time off with your best friend, which is always a plus.

Well, ‘best friend’ might not be the best way to describe it. You'd developed a crush on the spider demon even before this whole incident occurred, and now that you were spending more time with him, it only continued to grow.

With the line of work you two had, romantic relationships didn't seem to be a thing that crossed anybody's mind since why have a permanent partner when you could just go around fucking the hottest people in Hell? But you knew your feelings were far beyond from sexual, but didn't wanna ruin what you already had going for you.

One heartfelt drunken conversation after work however, makes you do a double take—Angel likes you back. And that both scares and excites you. But with both of you going over the pros and cons with each other, you decide to give it a chance.

You make sure to always have Angel's consent when it comes to physical intimacy—anything from holding his hand, to kissing to just cuddling. He jokes about not being a porcelain doll, but deep down you know he appreciates it.

You're also there for the rough nights, when he comes home wanting nothing more than to die again and let the earth swallow him whole. Words of reassurance are spoken and you can only hold him and let him cry as you vow to do anything in your power to stop this from happening again.

Husker 🍺

As one of the first guests of the hotel, like any wayward sinner, you find yourself in the bar more often than you'd like. Alcohol killed you in the first place, yet not even in the afterlife could you seem to pull yourself from its grasp.

It's a somewhat welcome surprise to find out that the bartender is going through a similar struggle. He still serves you drinks and lends and ear whenever he's not busy, but will occasionally drop the words of wisdom to watch your fill.

Eventually you two find yourselves doing this little back and forth and aid each other when you're in your dark places—Husk won't let you near the bottle if he sees you're about to knock yourself out, meanwhile you're there to look after him when he has one too many drinks and can't take care of himself.

Not to say he isn't a good drinking buddy—you've found out most of the gossip around the hotel thanks to this sneaky little cat demon and there's never a dull moment with him around.

You learn about his deal with Alastor during a particularly bad night, when Husk's had one too many and isn't thinking straight. You don't bring it up, but now have an eye open for whenever the Radio Demon drags your friend away.

Angel's the one who brings up your questionable relationship to the surface.

“So... you two like, fuckin' each other, or what?”

Your entire face goes red, and if it weren't for the dark fur you could swear you see Husk looking the same. He's quick to get rid of Angel's nosy ass, but now the seed has been planted in your brain—do you like Husk that way?

After careful consideration, you come to the conclusion that yes, you do. And it's honestly kinda terrifying considering how relationships don't usually work out in Hell, at least from what you've seen. Besides, even if you did try and confess, there was always the possibility of him not feeling the same and just being embarrassed by Angel's comment.

So in an attempt to make your feelings disappear, you stop frequenting the bar. Who knew the best way to stop drinking habits was trying to avoid spending time with your unrequited crush?

But of course, Husk isn't stupid. He sees the change in your behavior and let's it slide for a while, until he eventually corners you and asks what's wrong. You decide to get it all out of the way and tell him how you feel.

To the embarrassment of both of you, he holds your hand firmly between his and darts his eyes toward the corner of the room. “Next time you should ask before going off assuming things, ya got it?”

And so, your glass may have been empty that day, but your heart had never felt fuller.

Sir Pentious 🐍

You meet Sir Pentious when you sign into the hotel, and your immediate thought is just how can this snake man be so adorkable, it should be illegal.

As you greet the other residents and staff, you're quick to strike a conversation with him, which based on his body language he was not expecting. He starts telling you a bit about his weaponry and other contraptions, and you can't help but be fascinated by it.

You're a bit of a tinkerer yourself, albeit you've only dabbled in small scale projects—nothing compared to the massive canons and aircrafts that Pentious seems to be familiar with.

He acts like a kid opening gifts on Sinmas when he talks to you about his inventions, clearly never having anyone show interest before. Eventually he'll even ask for your input on certain smaller projects he wants to work on to help around the hotel, all to thank Charlie for being so kind to him and giving him a second chance. You're obviously eager to help!

You two start spending so much time together that the egg boys have started calling you ‘Boss #2’, much to Pentious' embarrassment and your amusement.

One afternoon once exercises are done for the day, the snake demon seems much more fidgety than usual as he invites you over to his room to continue working on his security system prototype. He's a blabbering mess once he has you sitting down and your heart just can't help but swell at each little syllable.

“Dearest (y/n)... you've, um, well... you are a huge inspiration for my work! A-And I wouldn't have been able to create any of this... without your help. You are kind, and smart and very talented.... and w-well, um I-”

You gotta silence the man with a kiss otherwise you two would be here all day. He's puddy in your hands and you can only giggle in return. “I really like you too, Pen.”

Everyone is either saying they called it or groaning in annoyance because fucking FINALLY, you two were just dancing around each other like idiots. The egg boys are just so happy to have someone else besides Pentious to be in their lives, and will do their best to look out for you just like with their own boss.

So yeah, prepare yourself for some sickeningly sweet gestures from this guy cause he will go above and beyond to get you what you need/want even if it kills him (again). And you can confidently say that you'd do the same in return.

Alastor 📻

After running in the same circles when you were alive, it's no surprise to you to end up in Hell, although you never would've suspected that you'd find yourself in the same place as him. It was honestly a huge relief not having to go through this all by yourself.

As Alastor exerted his dominance over Hell as the Radio Demon, you were powerful enough to be an Overlord yes, but rather liked keeping it on the down low instead of making a spectacle of yourself (Alastor was the one for theatrics anyway). Because of this, only select few knew of your true power and what you were capable of.

Instead, if there was one thing you were known for, it was being the only soul allowed to be close to the Radio Demon without the risk of death.

Yes, Alastor was a sadistic, cold-blooded and egotistical mastermind, but he wasn't a monster. You knew that better than anyone. Although the reactions he had to other demons treating you like a joke or calling you the ‘Radio Demon's Pet’ were not helping his case.

“ł₣ ɎØɄ V₳ⱠɄɆ ɎØɄⱤ ₴ØɄⱠ, ɎØɄ ₩łⱠⱠ ₩₳Ⱡ₭ ₳₩₳Ɏ Ɽł₲Ⱨ₮ ₦Ø₩ ฿Ɇ₣ØⱤɆ ł Ɽł₱ ł₮ ₳₱₳Ɽ₮ ฿ł₮ ฿Ɏ ฿ł₮...”

“Al, chill. You're gonna make them shit their pants.”

After his seven year absence, you immediately noticed something was wrong with him, and wouldn't stop pestering until he told you the truth—A deal he made and how his soul was now bound to someone much more powerful than he was.

You were obviously mortified and started looking into ways to try and find a loophole to this, but alas the Radio Demon would just give you his signature grin and tell you not to worry about it. It was his battle to face.

But of course you're quick to remind him that you've stuck together through thick and thin even in life, so there was no way you were letting him handle this by himself. You work as a team—always have and always will. You engulf him in a hug.

“We're gonna figure this out, Al. I promise...”

The grin remains, but his eyes widen slightly in surprise. He hesitantly returns the embrace, patting your back and wiping the tears you didn't even know you were shedding.

“There there~ To think such a sweet and innocent soul wound up in a gutter like this. I cannot say I complain as long as I have your delightful company beside me.”

And so when he says he has a plan that involves Princess Charlie Morningstar and her new Happy Hotel, you follow along. Whatever fate has in store for you two, you'll be ready.

Also Charlie is a sweetheart who could do no harm. Knowing Alastor, he'll probably do whatever he can here and there to help around for the cause. You also offer your services as an undercover Overlord, much to everyone's surprise when you reveal your status.

The Radio Demon may have a plan, but something tells you it won't involve bloody murder (unless extremely necessary or if someone really pissed him off).

Like you said—he's not a monster.

Lucifer 🍎

You and Lucifer were good friends at the beginning of Creation. While you were stuck with the tedious task of designing blueprints for the new ‘Human Project’ that headquarters had in store, Lucifer's Seraphim status allowed him to bring creations to life with the flick of a wrist, much to your delight and wonder.

His ideas and pitches for Earth were always so entertaining to listen to, and you would do your best to encourage him to show them to the higher ups to get them approved—His mind was just filled with joy and love and wonder that you'd never seen before.

Which was why it was always so disappointing whenever he'd come back and say that he was shut down and even mocked at. How could Heaven shut down such an imaginative mind in the creation of their biggest project yet?

To say you were devastated when you heard about his fall would be an understatement. You mourned the loss of your friend, knowing that he'd done nothing wrong and thinking it wasn't fair to him to receive such punishment just because he cared for the future of humanity.

Thousands of years later, you overhear the plan for Extermination of Hell kind. You didn't mean to walk by, yet here you were, under the direct eye of the Head Seraphims about to be downcast for something you had no control over—just like Lucifer.

“You're all self-entitled pricks! You think you can do whatever you want just because it doesn't follow what you define as good!”

You get a few good arguments before being cast downwards, leaving you in bad shape in a random alley with no wings and no means of escape. That is of course, until destiny seems to be on your side and Lucifer finds you, completely perplexed to see you here at all.

After getting treated, you tell him about the Extermination so he and Hell can prepare. The conversation of you getting cast down by Heaven gets glossed over, but he can feel the fury building up inside him. You were always doing things by the book—how could they do this to you?

Once the slaughter is over, Lucifer gets a meeting with Heaven and secures protection for both his daughter Charlie and you, to which they begrudgingly agree to keep him outta their hair. You can't help but feel touched by this gesture.

He's also quick to offer you a room to stay in, but you compromise by living in a seperate building from him and Charlie so you aren't a bother even though he says you aren't. In fact, ever since Lilith left, he's had to take care of his young daughter all by himself, so he's more than happy when you offer to help.

It doesn't take long for your feelings to start coming into the surface from all those years ago, and you gotta push them away because he's both married and has a child to look after! Besides, why would the King of Hell ever look in your direction?

Eventually though, he brings up the question with nothing but sweaty palms and a customized rubber ducky that says ‘I love you’ whenever you squeeze it. You blush furiously, but can't help but bring up your concerns, not wanting to replace Lilith in his heart. He looks into your eyes and says that he hasn't been as happy as he is now in the past thousand years.

Cue baby Charlie walking in on everything, and she just smiles and goes innocently. “Daddy! Is (y/n) staying home with us now?”

You two can only chuckle at the cuteness of it and you immediately go to hug her. You couldn't believe that you were blessed with such a wonderful family.

[propertyofwicked]

HOT WINGS - LN

lando and his girlfriend take on the quadrant hot wings challenge

based on this request ✧ my inbox is open! ✧

warnings - literally none, quite short, some swearing. this is mainly just chaos if im completely honest

masterlist the playlist

“ok guys we’re starting off easy - this is siracha, i believe,” max said, looking to lando and y/n who sat opposite him.

“easy? i get lemon and herb at nandos,” lando whined, but still taking a bite from the wing.

“lan it’s just siracha? that’s basically mayo?” y/n told him, staring in disbelief as she saw him wince at the spice.

“easy for you to say - you smother your food in it like there’s no tomorrow.”

“max just ask the question,” she prompted, ignoring her boyfriends complaints.

“ok bossy - erm, what was your first experience of motorsport?”

the two of them answered the questions as best as they could, max trying not to laugh harder with each spice increase. even y/n was struggling, but not as much as lando who was now turning red and standing up to walk off the pain.

“this is “da bomb” - 300,000 on the scoville scal- lando are you good?” max started, interrupting himself at the sight of lando ripping the lid off the ice cream tub.

“just ask the fucking question max,” lando shouted, whilst rubbing ice cream around his lips, “please.”

“you’ve gotta eat the chicken first you muppet,” y/n chimed in, holding out a wing with the tiniest amount of sauce on it.

“hold my hand,” he asked her, taking the wing from her before grabbing her hand and interlocking their fingers. his grip was tight, and it didn’t help that he remained stood up, so her arm was suspended in the air as they both took a bite of the chicken.

“hold my hand??” max said through his laughter, “you’re eating chicken not giving birth?”

“the pain is worse,” lando told him, quickly dodging the wing that y/n launched in the direction of his head.

“y/n - can you explain this photo for everyone please?” max asked, holding up his phone to show an image of her, fast asleep on his bathroom floor, shoes still on and her head using a box of fries and donner kebab as a pillow.

“max fewtrell you PROMISED you’d never bring that picture up,” she shouted, covering her mouth as the spice travelled.

“answer the question.”

“i was drunk and tir- and oh my god is this sauce even legal?” she asked him quickly, sticking her tongue out to attempt to weaken the intensity.

“you know there’s still more, right?” he laughed at her, watching the way her arms reached out to lando. though she didn’t want him, she wanted the ice cream he was clutching to his chest, but he wouldn’t give it up.

“lando pass me the fucking ice cream or ill tell everyone that you cry when you cum”

“oh god please cut that out,” lando laughed, though giving up the ice cream quickly.

“no denying it though mate?” max laughed out, smacking his hand on the table.

“my mouth is in too much pain. should i be sweating? why am i sweating?” he continued, grabbing the bottle of milk in front of him.

“lando - can you explain what happened in this picture here?” max asked, holding up his phone once more.

milk shot from lando’s mouth, spraying across the table and onto y/n as he saw the picture, laughter taking over.

“i’m just not cut out for cycling,” he said with a shrug, before downing another mouthful of milk.

“why was his picture so much nicer than mine?” y/n asked with a whine before shovelling more ice cream into her mouth.

“you always look good y/n,” lando tried to reassure her with a smile.

“shut the fuck up,” she replied, flinging a spoon of ice cream at him, melted slightly as it landed slap bang on his nose.

“i know you’re lashing out because of the spice but honestly that is quite refreshing,” he laughed at her, using the back of his hand to wipe the food away.

“ok - hell fire hot sauce, this one is 2 million on the scoville scale.”

“2 MILLION?” lando shouted at his friend, y/n mouth just opened in disbelief.

“it’s ok baby we’re almost done,” she told him, rubbing his shoulder softly.

“i can’t wait to feel my mouth again,” he replied, ignoring her affection slightly before turning to face her as he wiped the sweat off her forehead, “if you look like that i don’t want to imagine what i look like.”

“rude.”

the two of them took their final bites, trying to remain sitting still as the spice took over but with little success. y/n took to crouching down on the floor, clutching at lando’s arm as he laughed at her.

“y/n, final question - who is the best looking f1 driver?” max asked, looking between his friends with a grin.

“ever or current?”

“ever,” max told her as lando whipped his head round to stare at her intently, but she didn’t notice as she had turned her head to stare into the camera directly.

“jenson button i am asking for one chance,” y/n said bluntly, bringing her hands into a prayer.

“jens- Y/N?? are you kidding me right now?”

“he’s a good looking man what can i say,” she replied with a shrug, smiling wickedly at her boyfriend, “at least he doesn’t have ice cream running down his face right now.”

“what about current drivers?” lando asked her, attempting to remain composed despite the fire burning through his mouth. she turned her head to the camera again, slowly.

“fernando alonso i am asking for one chanc-”

“FERNANDO?” lando shouted, milk spilling down his top once more, “when my mouth doesn’t feel like literal hell we are so breaking up.”

“but if someone asked you who the best looking member of quadrant was you wouldn’t say me,” she retorted before taking a spoonful of ice cream.

“well no id have to say max.”

“exactly.”

“y/n don’t be silly - look at him!” lando shouted back, hand extending to point at the man who was now wheezing in laughter, clutching at his sides.

[sosasturns]

doordashin - c. sturniolo

the last thing you’d ever expected was to hook up with your goddamn doordasher. it’s not like it came with the service—but somehow, here you were, throwing it back for the guy who delivered your eight-piece wing combo from wingstop. fucking ironic.

it all started when you ordered late-night food, craving something quick and satisfying. your dasher chris had texted you a few minutes earlier to confirm he was on his way.

dasher: on the elevator.

but the picture that came through was definitely not of your food. instead, your screen lit up with a low-angled selfie of him holding his much-hardened dick in his hand. your eyes widened as you registered what you were seeing—his phone angled to show off every inch of him. what the fuck?

dasher: oh shit lmao dasher: my fault.

and with that he sent another pic, this time one of him in the elevator on the way up to your condo with your food order. you blinked, half in shock and half in disbelief. what the hell just happened? the confidence to even send a picture like that by accident was…something.

dasher: omw up now. you: alr you: u can drop both off

he replied almost immediately.

dasher: ???

you smirked to yourself, fingers typing faster than your brain could second-guess.

you: my food and that dick.

the reply came after a beat.

dasher: yeah right.

but the way his words carried a smirk…you had a feeling this wasn’t over. when you opened the door moments later, your suspicion was confirmed. chris was tall, lanky but strong, with piercing blue eyes and a mischievous grin. his shaggy hair framed his face in a way that made him look both boyish and stupidly hot. he handed over your food, but the tension in the air was almost suffocating.

“about that tip,” you teased, stepping aside and letting the door hang open a little longer than necessary.

he tilted his head, an eyebrow raised. “yeah?”

you placed your food down on the counter, leaning against it. “you’re cute,” you admitted, trying to play it cool. “and that pic…well, it’s a bold move.”

“accidental bold move,” he corrected, though he wasn’t exactly looking embarrassed anymore. “still, gotta admit, it worked out pretty well for me, honey.”

“maybe,” you said, eyeing him up and down. “guess you’ll find out.”

one thing led to another. fast forward ten minutes, and your moans filled the air, muffled slightly as your face pressed into the couch’s throw pillows. hands gripping the armrests, you choked out a string of stammered praises as chris’s hips snapped against yours. his right hand was firm on the small of your back, guiding your body to meet his rhythm. his other hand gripped your hip with a force that left no question about how much he was enjoying this.

“y'feel so good,” he muttered, his voice rough and low. “so fuckin' good.”

his words sent a thrill straight to your core, and you arched your back further, pushing against him. “don’t stop,” you gasped, your breath hitching as his pace quickened. his movements were almost feral now, the slap of skin against skin echoing in the room.

his fingers slid down your spine before tangling in your hair, tugging just enough to make you whimper. “god,” he murmured, his tone thick with amusement and desire. “lovin' this dick, hm?”

“fuck yes,” you moaned, your thighs trembling as the pleasure built higher and higher. every thrust was perfectly angled, sending jolts of electricity through your body. you could feel yourself teetering on the edge, your breathing erratic as his grip tightened.

he leaned down, his chest brushing against your back as his lips ghosted over your ear. “makin' me work for that tip, huh?” he teased, his voice dripping with cocky amusement.

“shut up,” you managed to stammer, though the laugh that escaped you was laced with a breathless moan. your body betrayed you as you clenched around him, dragging another groan from his lips.

“holy shit,” he groaned, his pace relentless. “i'm gonna come.”

“me too,” you managed to choke out, your voice breaking as a wave of ecstasy crashed over you. your body shook as the orgasm tore through you, leaving you breathless and quivering beneath him. the way he moaned your name as he followed you over the edge sent another shiver down your spine, the intensity of it leaving you both spent.

he pulled out with a sharp exhale, collapsing onto the couch beside you for a moment. his hand lazily brushed over your lower back before he stood, reaching for a tissue to clean himself up.

he glanced at you, sprawled out and trying to catch your breath, with a crooked grin. “so,” he said, tugging his jeans back up. “you tippin’ me extra, right?”

you rolled your eyes as you moved to sit up. “hell no.”

he laughed, “worth a shot,” he said, his smirk as cocky as ever. as he opened the door to leave, he threw you one last cocky grin over his shoulder. “don't miss me too much, baby.”

and just like that, he was gone, leaving you with your food, a sore body, and the memory of one hell of a delivery.

© sosasturns

[shybluebirdninja]

Second Date

continuation from this.

Summary: Logan’s nerves ease up during the second date, as he finally opens up about being a mutant, and things get hilariously sweet and chaotic.

Pairing             : Mutant!Logan Howlett x Human!Fem-reader Genre              : Fluff

You weren’t sure what to expect for the second date. After all, Logan had been… well, awkward as hell the first time. He was cute, sure, but the guy seemed more comfortable punching bad guys than sitting at a bar chatting about work. But still, here you were, standing outside the dessert shop he picked for tonight.

Through the window, you spotted him in his signature flannel, boots still a little muddy—classic Logan. When he saw you, he stood up like a soldier ready for duty. Adorable.

“Hey, babe,” Logan greeted you, catching you off guard. Babe? Really? Since when did he start calling you that?

You blinked, trying not to laugh. “Babe, huh? We're moving fast.”

He scratched the back of his neck, clearly not used to the nickname either. “Yeah, uh... figured I’d try it out. Sounded better in my head.”

You smirked. “Nah, it’s cute. Keep it up.”

The place was cozy, full of pastel-colored walls and a dessert counter that looked like it was out of a Pinterest board. Logan looked hilariously out of place—like a bear in a cupcake shop—but you found it charming.

“So, you brought me to a dessert place?” you teased as you sat down.

Logan shrugged, avoiding your eyes. “Figured you'd like it. Plus, beer and wings weren’t exactly a hit last time.”

You grinned. “True. But this is nice. Besides, who doesn’t like sugar?”

Logan cracked a small smile, still fidgeting like he didn’t know where to put his hands. The waitress came by, and you both ordered a ridiculous-looking dessert platter. But Logan stayed quiet for a minute, clearly holding something back.

Finally, after he stabbed his fork into a cupcake, he blurted, “I gotta tell you somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Okay. Sounds serious.”

“I’m, uh... kinda not like most people.” He paused, looking at you for a reaction, but you just nodded. “I’m a mutant.”

You blinked. “Oh. Is that it?”

Logan stared at you like you'd just told him Santa was real. “What d’ya mean, ‘is that it’? I’m practically a walking science experiment! Claws, healing powers, and I’ve lived through more wars than I care to count!”

You sipped your drink and smiled. “Logan, c'mon. Mutants aren’t exactly rare. You know that, right? Everyone’s cool with it now.”

Logan’s face softened, clearly relieved. “Shit. You’re serious?”

You nodded. “Yeah, babe. It's all good. Besides, claws are kinda hot.”

He nearly choked on his cupcake. “Claws are hot?”

You leaned in, grinning. “What else you got?”

Logan finally relaxed, a real smirk playing on his lips. “Well, I can heal pretty quick. Like, faster than you’d believe.”

“Useful in case you fall during the ice skating part of tonight, huh?”

Logan frowned, confused. “Ice skatin’? I don’t—” He trailed off when you pointed at the rink just across the street. “You serious? I’ll look like an idiot.”

“You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m clumsy as hell. You’ll just have to catch me.”

Logan’s expression softened at that, his usual gruffness fading a bit. “Yeah, alright. But if you fall, I’m draggin’ you outta there.”

Half an hour later, you were wobbling on the ice, while Logan, surprisingly stable, kept pace beside you. Turns out super healing makes for decent balance.

“I told you I’d suck at this!” you laughed, nearly toppling over for the third time.

Logan caught your arm, pulling you upright with a grin. “You weren’t lyin’, babe. You’re like a baby deer out here.”

“Gee, thanks,” you muttered, barely keeping your feet under you.

You slipped—again—and this time, Logan yanked you into him, his arms catching you just in time. For a second, you both just stood there, inches apart, his breath warm against your cheek. Logan looked down at you, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You’re a menace on ice, you know that?”

Before you could snap back, he reached out, lightly pinching your cheek. “But you’re cute as hell, so I guess I can deal.”

Your heart did a little flip. Logan? Pinching cheeks and calling you cute? Who was this guy?

“Y’know, you’re not as grumpy as you pretend to be,” you teased, nudging him.

Logan just grunted, looking away. “Don’t get used to it.”

You chuckled. “Too late, babe.”

The night went on like that—little moments of clumsy skating and playful jabs, Logan more relaxed than you’d ever seen him. By the time you both sat down on a bench outside, you were still laughing about how you’d nearly taken him down with you on the ice.

“Alright, you win,” he said, wiping his brow. “Maybe ice skatin’ ain’t so bad.”

“Maybe?” you raised an eyebrow. “I think you had fun.”

Logan smirked, leaning back. “Yeah, maybe I did.”

Then, before you could say anything else, he leaned in and kissed you—soft at first, but with enough heat to make your stomach flip. And when he pulled back, his eyes had that same mischievous glint from earlier.

“Round three?” he muttered against your lips.

You laughed, cheeks burning. “You’re on, babe.”

[selineram3421]

*stares at phone after watching all of Hazbin Hotel* I gotta try something.

Accidentally In Love

Prologue

Alastor X Exorcist Reader

Warning ⚠

⚠ Fem Reader, mention of cutting wings, mention of abuse, Angel being Angel. ⚠

You had missed your sister Vaggie.

Being the closest to her out of all of your sisters, of course you would be a target.

Adam had used you as a punching bag whenever he could, just to feel better about her betrayal.

Two years went by, you had dealt with all the abuse you could before leaving down to Hell yourself. Feeling broken, you cut off your own wings, tossing them away into a random dumpster.

It was extermination day and you saw all of the chaos you and your sisters had caused. Now you can see why she left.

"Heaven is overrated.", you laughed, wiping away your tears.

"Now that's how you wear a smile!"

Gasping, you went on the defensive, eyes darting everywhere until you spotted a demon in red.

"None of that dear, I am not here to fight."

The demon remained in the shadows but you could see his smile. His eyes glowing red radio dials.

"I'd like to offer shelter and protection."

"What do you want.", you tightened your hold on your spear.

Yes you were in Hell, but even in Heaven there were those who had other intentions behind a smile.

"Nothing too serious.", the demon said. "Just to have you by my side until I say the word for you to leave."

"All the details.", you demanded and pointed your weapon at them. "I'm not stupid."

"And yet here you are standing in Hell."

"By choice!", you scowled.

"Oh? How interesting."

You let out a yelp when something dragged you into the shadows towards the demon. Using your angelic weapon, you stabbed at it and it released you, but it was too late.

You were already in the darkness with them.

"Apologies but I'd like to talk about this elsewhere.", the demon held out their hand to you. "Come and we'll discuss the details."

Looking up at the demon, you saw that he had a strained smile.

"I think you need me more than you let on.", you said but placed your hand on his. "I think I deserve to get more with what you're asking of me."

From then on you stayed with the Radio Demon, Alastor.

Currently he was off on business but when spotting you he had to get closer to the edge. You being someone who might be of use to him in his current predicament.

You pointed out that you didn't need to be around him all the time and put down that you would travel around Hell to find someone.

"And this someone is?"

"None of your business. Your deal is with me."

After a year of searching you found her.

She was with the Princess of Hell and was ok, she even grew her hair out.

You went with the deer demon to the hotel and stayed silent for the most part. Not used to being around so many living demons unless it was to get rid of them.

Alastor had put on a show of being all powerful while you just waited to talk to your sister. After all of the deer's shenanigans, you finally got the time to walk up to her.

"Vaggie?", you spoke up.

She looked surprised and then she frowned.

"What are you doing here!?", she whispered and dragged you away from the others.

After making sure no one else was around, she sighed and looked back to you.

"Explain. NOW."

"I left Heaven.", you stated.

"Well no shit. You're here.", she placed her hands on her hips. "I'm asking why. What happened? Why are you here? With the Radio Demon of all sinners. I'm not going back."

"I'm not here to take you back.", you quickly put a stop to her concerns. "I'm here to stay with you. I-. Heaven..", you looked away and hugged yourself. "You know I was the quiet one.."

Vaggie looked at you worried and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"What did they do to you?", she asked in a hushed tone.

"Adam..our sisters.", you couldn't look her in the eye and stared down at your feet. "Look. I cut my wings to stay here and find you. It wasn't right what they did and I'm not going back to that place.", you said firmly. "It wasn't worth you."

Your sister sighed and pulled you into a hug.

"Let's catch up later.", she said and held your hand, taking you back towards the others. "I want to introduce you to someone special."

"Is it the Princess? I already met her when coming in.", you said.

"I want to introduce you as my family and well..", she stopped just before going into the lobby, looking out and staring at the blonde. "I haven't told her..who-what I am. Please don't mention anything until I have the courage to tell her."

"Vaggie..", you squeezed her hand. "If you really want a good relationship with her then tell her. Sooner than later."

"I know.", she sighed. "I just need a little more time."

You backed more into the shadows after spotting Alastor looking around the room.

"Vaggie. I have to tell you something.", you said and got your sibling's attention. "I made a deal with Alastor, and before you yell. No. Not for my soul.", you said quickly. "I'm just acting like a bodyguard for a bit but he knows what I am."

"What!", she whisper shouted.

You patted her shoulders to calm her down. "I'll make sure he doesn't say a thing."

She looked over to the red dressed demon with a glare before accepting. "Fine. But you better be careful, I don't trust anyone other than Charlie."

"I will.", you smiled. "Now, officially introduce me to the Princess!"

With a roll of her eyes, she smiled back and dragged you over to the heir of Hell.

"Charlie! I have someone you need to meet."

The Princess turned and spotted you both.

"Oh, hello again.", she waved. "I've already met them Vaggie, what do you mean?", she asked.

"Not entirely.", she stood in the middle and let go of your hand. "Charlie, this is my sister.", she gestured to you.

Charlie gasped and held her face in surprise, eyes sparkling wide.

Vaggie said your name and then held the Princess close. "This is my girlfriend."

It was your turn to gasp in surprise.

"You hooked up with the Princess!?", you covered your mouth after noticing how loud you said that. "Sorry, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I mean that in total excitement. I'm happy for you and glad that you're happy."

The spider demon, that was named Angel Dust, got closer to look you up and down.

"Is there something wrong?", you questioned.

"You've got bigger boobs."

You blushed and hid your chest.

"Angel!", your sister whacked the spider.

"Ow! What!? Its true!"

Alastor walked over and also hit the spider. "You don't make such comments on a lady's body."

"I'm just saying they've got a nice rack, they got the betta genes!", the spider said before getting another hit from both of them again. "Ow!"

"Ignore him.", your sister turned you away and guided you towards the stairs. "Let's go find you a room."

You were happy to have found your sister.

Of course Alastor still needed to be kept quiet and you'd have to make sure to go over your deal with him.

Maybe you could persuade him somehow.

This went off the rails a bit but yeah.

~Seline, the person.

Part 1

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