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islandpcosjourney · 2 years ago

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Next stage

7th March 2023

Well, here we are, we’ve exhausted our other options and after our referral 6 months ago, we now have our first appointment date at the Assisted Conception Unit next month.

It has been a rollercoaster of emotions so far. From realising that our last cycle (before we leave it in the hands of the scientists) had failed, to feeling denial about our “need” for scientists to take over, the natural rhythm of life failing us and the possibility that this isn’t meant to be, from the perspective of continuing to seek a family through medical interventions.

It has been no secret that we were told years ago that we’d need medical intervention but I still refused to believe it. I still had hope where others may not have. I wanted and so badly did believe that it WOULD happen and that we wouldn’t need to push onto this stage. I never wanted it. Yes, I accepted the referral but didn’t quite compute what it all meant in terms of it being a deadline for us to make this decision - we now only have til we’re 40.

It’s not been easy on either of us. We’re seeking further help out-with our own capabilities because deep down, we’re just not coping. Or I think it’s just that I’ve realised how much we’ve been dealing with and “coping” in a certain way by not facing it head on. It is so much easier to not say the words when you feel rubbish and useless. I find it much easier to just cuddle up to Kevin, cry and leave it at that. Saying words out loud however, make it real and making it real helps you to heal.

But neither of us have been through this before, no matter how much I might know about the process from documentaries or dramas or talking to people, we will still be going through this together, afresh, at the same time and that partly does worry me as this isn’t a trial run, this is real and happening! Will I know how to comfort Kevin? Will he know how to comfort me? Will there be part of the process when he won’t be there to help me? Well, there must be because on average its a 6 week-long process going through an IVF round (just found that out yesterday, that’s how clueless I am!) and he’s only ever home for 5 weeks at a time. Not entirely sure why I thought it took months. Maybe because I know people can be going through it for months but that might actually be because there’s time between monitoring, drugs, scans, various appointments etc before a 6-wk cycle even begins! Then of course there’s the failed transfers, which might mean that you’re 6 weeks down the line, not pregnant but might have frozen embryos in storage so you might get to try again the next month. Now presumably, if that happens to us, Kevin wouldn’t need to be around for future transfers, as they’re frozen, already fertilised embryos, but this is me just guessing.

As far as we can understand, our first appointment has to include us both and presumably that’s because they’ll be talking us through the process and finding out more about us. I will have my AMH tested, which will test my blood for levels indicative of my age, to see about my ovarian egg reserves. Women are born with a finite number of eggs whereas men can produce new sperm every day, forevermore. I’m kind of hoping that I won’t have any problems in that department as, even though I’m 35, I haven’t had many periods before the last 2 years, I basically only had around 30 in 10 years so my ovaries haven’t been spitting out eggs like they should have, therefore I’m assuming they’re still in there 🤷🏻‍♀️ The AMH level will indicate what hormone protocol you’re put on for treatment.

I’ll also have a carbon monoxide test - me?! I’m a non-smoker but it’s been Kevin that’s cheekily been sneaking cigarettes for years, not me. He’s off them now but our documentation doesn't say anything about him being tested. It says we’ll be asked but it specifically says that I'll be tested - random.

I’ll also be weighed - to make sure my BMI is under 30, which it is not at the moment (still carrying Christmas weight - oops!) but it will be in 5 weeks - that I am certain of!

Other than those 3 things that will be measured, we have no idea what the rest of the appointment will entail but it’s annoying that Kevin isn’t having any tests done because we postponed our first offer appointment which was this week because he isn’t around and when it said that we both had to be available, we assumed that was because we were both needed for tests. I'm told that staff shortages etc mean that they’re using our previous test results to start off and if anything else is required, we’d have to be referred somewhere else like Aberdeen for that - frustrating. Having Kevin away 5 wks at a time, I’m used to dealing with appointments on my own, relaying info to him etc but their policy must be that both parties must be present for the first consult and there was no way around that.

Then came the realisation of getting into a whole new ball-game with the local Health Board here and phoning up to arrange patient travel. I’m already down in Edinburgh anyway so it’s only Kevin that needed a flight arranged, one way but still, that process spiked a lot of anxiety in me and I could hear my voice breaking down the phone, getting emotional about silly little things! Well I say silly but when I told the lady that I was already down and staying with my mum, after that she kept referring to me as staying with my parents and after a while I felt I had to correct her as she shouldn’t have assumed that it was my “parents” when I had said “mum”. I had to say that my Dad had died. She should’ve maybe said “family” or perhaps I will in future. What was going through my head also was that I’m disappointed that we’ve had to get to this stage. It’s a realisation, an acceptance that we couldn’t manage it ourselves, even with medications and that we now have to go about it in the most clinical way possible. However, it will all be worth it for a child to enter into our lives, to bless our marriage and make us a family (although I am not saying that we’re not blessed already and that we’re not a family, but you get what I mean - bless us further and make us a family of more than 2 adults plus fur babies 😂)

I also had a horrid realisation yesterday that we wouldn’t be able to afford this financially. Yes, we’re entitled to 3 NHS funded cycles, yes we get our travel paid and (to a certain extent) accommodation when required but as a self-employed music teacher, I don’t get sick pay, I don’t get holiday pay, I don’t get maternity pay. When I don’t work, I don’t have an income. An average teaching week would cover my mortgage, another week would cover my council tax (which is 200% atm because the house isn’t fit to live in), another week would cover my car payment, another week covers the month’s electricity. There’s not much left over each month because of the rising costs facing us and when I am either forced to take a week off due to school holidays or because I need time off for something else, it has to be done with care and thought because most of the time, I might be relying on my overdraft to get me through that month. So, when hearing someone else who went through IVF tell me that they took 3 wks staying on the mainland during treatment - that freaked me out! I really can’t afford to take 3 weeks off. Is having a baby worth going bankrupt for? Worth losing my house and therefore my living? Then, if we can’t afford that, how on earth can I afford maternity leave? We have a long-term plan but it isn’t in force yet and thoughts, financially like this, always have me questioning whether or not we’re in the right position to have a family and then it dawns on me that maybe that’s why we don’t already..... that God is saving us from that stress. Perhaps.

However, Kevin insists that we’ll be fine and I prayed on it this morning. Hours later when I was getting ready to leave for work, it dawned on me that there must be advice out there for musicians going through IVF or similar and I googled it and found a charity called “Help musicians”. I just rattled off a quick email to them as I couldn’t read their FAQs well-enough on my phone and I got a response really soon after, asking me about more specifics. There might be help available! Who knew?! Praise the Lord. It’s in these moments when you cry out, you feel rock bottom and have no clue where or who to turn to for help, that prayers really can be answered. Nothing may come of it, I have no idea yet but at least I didn’t get a straight NO from them. I am being put in touch with the right people to decide what application forms are best to fill out etc but what a weight off my mind that we might possibly get some support - one less stress.

Yes it’s our choice to want a family and to want to pursue this treatment option 200 miles away but neither of us made the choice to get an infertility diagnosis. We do not have the simple choice of deciding when to be parents, in the comfort of our own home. We have to make sacrifices and this is where it begins. If we want this bad enough, we’ll be making the hardest choices we’ve ever had to make in our lives over the next weeks, months & years. This is where adult life gets really complicated and serious and scary. I’m learning to reach out to others now because we can’t do this on our own. We’re being open and honest about where we’re headed and that in itself will breed a different type of stress when we may well have several folk checking in on us, asking us how things are going, BUT to be honest, that’s parenthood starting early - the crazy life with no privacy beginning!

The time for “surprise” pregnancy announcements is over. There’s no hiding from this process now. Once you start a cycle, you either end up pregnant weeks later or you don’t. Everyone will know that. Every time we leave the island for an appointment, I don’t want to be hiding it because there is no hiding on this island! Everyone knows your business and that’s that. I don’t want to be made to feel like I’m ashamed of what we’re doing because I’m not. Best to be open and honest and upfront, which I’ll respect myself for even more too. Several times this week I have been asked if I’m ok and I have without hesitation said NO.

It is ok not to be ok.

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ahockeywrites · 4 years ago

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Chapter 2 - Edmonton, Alberta

“I cannot believe it’s our first day in Edmonton and we’re already at a hockey game,” Addison laughed. The department Addison and Simone were contracted to work at regularly attended hockey games as a group to encourage socialising outside of the workplace and had invited the girls along to meet their new colleagues.

It just so happened that one of the other girls in the department was good friends with the Oilers roster and was able to get some good seats occasionally, and this happened to be one of those nights. They had seats right next to the ice for the Senators @ Oilers match and seeing as Addison had barely paid attention to the Blues hockey lineup, she had no idea that the brother of the boy she had been ignoring for years was about to take to the ice for warm ups.

A puck hit the glass in front of Addison and she looked up to see who hit it. Standing in front of her was Brady Tkachuk. She shot him a confused look, she had no idea he even played hockey anymore let alone in the NHL. He gave her a quick smile and shouted “gimme a text, number hasn’t changed,” then he skated off.

“Wait, you know Tkachuk?” one of her new colleagues asked? This was not how Addison wanted her first day in Edmonton to go. All she wanted was an easy introduction to her new colleagues not to be bombarded with questions.

“Yeah, grew up in St Louis a few doors down from them,” Addison explained, trying to go into as little detail as possible. There was no way she could let the people she was going to be spending a lot of time with know that she used to be friends with the devil of Calgary. Her co-workers just nodded, trying to understand how she hadn’t shared this information before. To the majority of people, growing up around NHL players was the most amazing thing ever but to Addison it was the most difficult thing. She wished she didn’t block Matthew out that summer, but she knew it was best for her at that time.

The rest of the game went surprisingly well, even if Brady was on the losing end of the game. No one asked Addison anymore questions about the Tkachuk’s, which she was very thankful for but Simone had started putting the pieces together and had pretty much figured out who it was that Addison was avoiding in St Louis.

Addison did text Brady, but she waited until she had settled in to Edmonton first. Naturally, Brady had already let the entire family know who he had seen in the stands as soon as he was able to. Keith and Chantal already knew because of their closeness to Addison’s parents, Taryn was excited to know that Addison had moved and was using her degree to her advantage and Matthew said nothing. He didn’t want to believe that they now lived in the same country, let alone the same province.

Ever since that day in St Louis, Matthew had vowed never to love another woman. He couldn’t, Addison was always the only one for him. It wasn’t like he couldn’t find someone else, he always had women falling over him almost anywhere he went, but none of them lived up to Addison. Instead of trying to settle down in Calgary, he had a different woman in his bed most nights to satisfy his desires.

Simone gave it a few days too before asking about the interaction at the Rogers Place. She was almost certain that the man who Addison refused to keep in contact with was the eldest Tkachuk child but she didn’t know the whole story. She didn’t want to reopen old wounds for Addison which could be especially painful. The safest space to bring up the topic was likely to be their shared apartment and she did one night with SportsNet’s NHL coverage in the background.

“Ads,” Simone started, she was unsure of how to approach the topic so decided to stay safe to begin with, “how do you actually know Brady Tkachuk?” Addison sighed, she knew this would eventually come up and was much happier that her best friend asked her rather than any of her other colleagues because it could have made the entire graduate program very awkward.

“I wasn’t lying at the rink, he did grow up a few doors down from me in St Louis,” Addison explained, “but I spent a lot of time at their house with Chantal because mom often worked late nights and dad used to, and still does, travel with the Blues for games. I’m the same age as Matt, so it just worked well.” She hoped that she hadn’t given too much away, it was the truth, just missing a lot of detail.

“But, is there anything else that I should know? You know, you’re probably gonna see the entire family next time you’re home and if I’m with you, the whole story is appreciated?” Simone tried to get as much information out as she could without hinting that she knew who Addison was refusing to mention.

“Matt was my first kiss and then I’ve ignored him ever since,” Addison said at such speed, she wasn’t even sure she took a breath between the words. It was the first time she had admitted it to anyone aside from her parents. “And I don’t think I ever stopped liking him.”

“Babe,” Simone exclaimed, “why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“Because he’s a professional hockey hot shot and I’m me! Plus, I was going to MIT and he really doesn’t give me vibes of someone that could do long distance,” Addison said, letting a tear fall. “I thought focussing on my studies would get rid of this silly crush, but seeing him in Calgary has just made things worse.”

Addison was shocked with herself, she had never vocalised her feelings of inadequacy when compared to Matthew before. Everything that she had just said was something she had internalised for years and the only way she knew to respond to the word vomit that had come out of her mouth was to cry. Simone came over to her and just held her. She had seen Addison like this before and knew she just needed to know that someone was there for her.

The room was silent bar the commentator for the Stars v Kings game and the two were thankful that it wasn’t a Flames game. “How about, we order some Chinese food, eat ice cream and watch some terrible movies?” Simone asked, this was how Addison solved all of the boy issues that anyone encountered at college so hoped it would help. The two spent the evening watching crappy rom coms wishing they were the main character in all of them and this was able to take Matthew off of her mind at least for a day.

Work seemed to drag along for the rest of the week and Addison let it. She was spending the majority of her time in her office, which she shared with the other graduates, and kept her head down working on a new project she had been assigned. She was designing a new ball bearing and it was the most tedious thing she had ever done. College could not have prepared her to spend 40 hours a week in front of a computer designing such an essential part of a manufactured product in such detail. All Addison wanted was to finish the design and go out to the bars because it was a Friday night and she needed a beer. Eventually, Simone and Addison were able to head home and get ready for a little night out in Edmonton.

It took a few hours for them to get showered, changed and eat something because they knew that drinking on an empty stomach was a bad idea. Addison chose to pair a deep green bodysuit with black jeans and heeled boots whilst Simone chose a flowery jumpsuit with small heels. They both knew they looked good and that gave them the confidence to head out with a smile. The Uber they had called arrived and they quickly threw back a vodka shot each. The night was cold but the bars calling their names were warm as hell.

The number of bars showing Calgary games was low, but apparently not zero because the first one they arrived at showed the Flames thrashing the Bruins and as soon as Addison looked up at the screen, she saw the baby blue eyed, curly haired boy she had been trying to ignore the life of for years.

“He’s everywhere,” Addison complained, “even in a city that supposedly hates him. I can’t seem to get away from him.” Simone shot her a look of sympathy, knowing that everything Addison had done was protect herself from getting hurt by a boy who meant so much to her. “I just want drinks.” And drinks Addison did get.

5 shots and two beers in two hours at the first bar took her to a state she rarely reached, very drunk. Seeing Matthew on tv had done it for her, he was living his life to the best so she was going to do the exact same, even if she was working 9-5, 5 days a week. Simone knew better than to let Addison go anywhere alone and made sure that she had drunk water and got home safely. However, Simone didn’t expect to wake up only an hour after falling asleep to hear Addison talking to someone on the phone.

“BRAAADDDYYYYYYYY!!!!” Addison shouted down the phone with a giggle.

“Heya Addie,” Brady replied, trying to control himself and not laugh too much but it was too hard. Here, well in Edmonton, in front of him was the exact opposite of the girl he had grown up with. Normally Addison was well kept and smartly dressed, today he saw her in a massive Blues t-shirt and hair forming a birds nest. “Has someone been drinking?” he asked playfully.

“Yeaaaaaaaaaa, I saw Matty on tv and decided I didn’t want him being the only one having fun tonight,” she said, trying not to hiccup. The alcohol she had consumed had kicked in suddenly and she had no idea what to do. As Brady was the most recent person she had texted, somehow she had called him.

“You saw a flames game in Edmonton? They must really hate their own team eh?” He laughed.

“I did! I think it’s because they’re coming for a game here next week, ooohhhh, maybe I’ll see Matty, I miss Matty, I was silly,” Addison explained, even if the drinks had gone to her head, she was trying to form coherent sentences.

“Hey, Addie, I know Matt misses you too. But, the best thing you can do is head to bed and get some sleep. It’s gotta be like 5am in Alberta, so go to bed, yeah?” Brady was really trying to help the girl, no matter what happened between Addison and Matthew, Brady didn’t want to lose the potential of a friendship with her again.

“Okaay Brady,” Addison yawned, “I’ve made it to bed, it’s sooooo soft, like Matty’s hair.” Addison couldn’t help but smile as she thought back to the time they had kissed, it was one of the happiest moments of her life along with graduating college.

“I’ll text you when you wake up,” Brady said, “now sleep Addie.” She had fallen asleep before he had even finished speaking and the sound of her softly breathing was the only thing that either Brady or Simone could hear.

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#ahockeywrites #the girl next door #Matthew Tkachuk #flames19 #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

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bobasheebaby · 4 years ago

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75 Criminal Minds Prompts

Some of these can easily go very, very dirty, and yes I’m talking about Morgan and Garcia conversations and honestly would it be a list without them?

1 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

2 “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.”― David Rossi

3 “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid

4 “Trust me, kiddo. I’ve been here before.” ― David Rossi

5 “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss

6 “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss

7 “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis

8 “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

9 “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan

10 “You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.” — David Rossi

11 “What makes you feel confident?” “Statistics.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

12 “NAME , believe me when I say this, I've never known a normal day in my entire life.” — Dr Spencer Reid

13 “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” — Dr Spencer Reid

14 “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.” “What are you implying, NAME?” “That everyone is medicated.” — Dr Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia

15 “He/She doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” — Dr Spencer Reid

16 “I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” “Every day since I met you!” — Dr Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan

17 “I never have any normal fans.” — Dr Spencer Reid

18 “Hey, Baby Girl, whatever you’re doing, drop it.” — Derek Morgan

19 “Talk to me, Baby Girl.” — Derek Morgan

20 “There you go, Baby Girl, that’s sweet.” — Derek Morgan

21 “Give it to me, doll face.” — Derek Morgan

22 “Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?” — Derek Morgan

23 “Hey, silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?” — Derek Morgan

24 “Hey girl, you’re on speaker. Behave.” “Or what, you’ll spank me?” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

25 “It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” — Derek Morgan

26 “Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.” “Rub my lamp, release the Genie.” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

27 “You really are afraid of the dark.” “I'm working on that.” “You should work a little harder.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

28 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?” — Derek Morgan

29 “Oh, and if you hate sad stories as much as I do, you should leave the room right now, 'cause this is super sad!” — Penelope Garcia

30 “Enchantress of all things possible, use your imagination.” — Penelope Garcia

31 “My least three favorite words strung together: I don't know.” — Penelope Garcia

32 “Hello, my pretties. I have seen the wizard and he granted my wish.” — Penelope Garcia

33 “She knew where to toe the line between right and raunchy.” — Penelope Garcia

34 “OK, let me get you on a secret: Guys, we don’t do well on subtle clues, OK? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!” — Derek Morgan

35 “It’s who you are, Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won’t let it.” — Derek Morgan

36 “NAME, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.” — Hotch

37 “Don't you have something better to do?” “Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.” — Hotch and Derek Morgan

38 “I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.” — Hotch

39 “NAME, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.” “And I need to know that I can be human.” — Hotch and Emily Prentiss

40 “Scars show us where we have been, they do not dictate where we are going.” — Rossi

41 “You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Understand?” — Rossi

42 “Just be careful. That ego of yours is going to get you in trouble." — Rossi

43 “Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it, but I can't go back and change it." — Rossi

44 “It could be that, after all of these years, I rewrote history." — Rossi

45 “Time will pass and slowly you will find how much it hurts. And, maybe, you'll find something else to fill that empty space." — Rossi

46 “Where you headed?” “Nowhere in particular.” “How will you know when you get there?” — Rose and Gideon

47 “Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal.” — JJ

48 “This is my favorite part. This is where you hang yourself with your own tongue. So, please keep talking.” — JJ

49 “My father/mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?” — JJ

50 “Oh god, please tell me you don't have a crush on a fictional character.” — JJ

51 “You are the best ever.” “Aw, and you're the most perceptive.” — JJ and Garcia

52 “I once dated a guy/girl who washed his/her car more than he/she washed his/her hair.” — JJ

53 “Don't tell me what I want and don't want.” — JJ

54 “You do what it takes to protect your family.” — JJ

55 “Look, I don't speak smartass.” — Michael Russo

56 “How's it having NAME around?” “You can have him/her back whenever you would like.” Hotch and Garcia

57 “So, NAME, when are you and NAME walking down the aisle?” “Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.” “When NAME says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single men/women everywhere.” — Rossi, Morgan and Reid

58 “Ugh! This heat is brutal!” “You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.” “At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

59 “Need a minute?” “So, so badly.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

60 “Hey. I came as soon as I could. What's wrong?” — Matt Simmons

61 “We ask questions, and we come home.” “No creepy weirdness?” “No weirdness.” “Good, 'cause I'm about full up in the creepy weirdness department for one night.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

62 “Ooh, what about this one? Sunny, two-bedroom. It's close to work. And it's in your price range.” “NAME, you're moving? You don't like change.” “That's true. Change is my kryptonite. But the apartment is no longer a sanctuary. I have a new neighbor. Window's right here. He enjoys doing naked kung fu. Some things you cannot unsee.” — JJ, Simmons and Garcia

63 “Thank you.” “For what?” “For being you.” “Aw, thanks. I don't know how to be anyone else.” — Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid

64 “When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.” — Emily Prentiss

65 “I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?” “The best way out is always through.” “Too bad it's not always the easiest one.” “You're not kidding.” — Dr Tara Lewis and Rossi

66 “It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.” — Diana Reid

67 “I don’t hate you ... I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” — Dr Spencer Reid

68 “There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.” “Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.” — Hotch

69 “I’m always right. Also, you’re secretly in love with me.” — Penelope Garcia

70 “I just gave the bartender my number in Roman numerals. If he/she figures it out, he’s/she’s worth a shot.” — Dr Spencer Reid

71 “Shh, the adults are talking. When it’s your turn to speak, I’ll give you permission. Okay?” — JJ

72 “Hey, mama, tell me something I don’t know.” — Derek Morgan

73 “Talk dirty to me.” — Penelope Garcia

75 “Hey, don’t make me spank you when I get back.” “Don’t listen time him/her, NAME, he’s/she’s all talk.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

#criminal minds prompts #criminal minds quotes #dialogue prompts #writing prompts #david rossi #derek morgan #dr spencer reid #emily prentiss #jj #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #nswfish

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underoossss · 4 years ago

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Dancing Under the Rain - H.O.

CHAPTER 2 [previous chapter]

pairing: detective!Haz x reader

warnings: nothing really in this one, its mostly fluff but you’ll hate me soon

AN: Hello everyone! I’m back with a new chapter and I hope you like it! This is the chapter that prompted me to keep writing the story and post it again. Let me know your thoughts!

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--- August 15th ----

When Harrison wakes up, there’s sunshine peeking through the window blinds and the air smells like coffee. He yawns and scoots closer to the left side of the bed, already knowing that you aren’t lying there anymore. Right, online lecture for the summer Intro to Psychology class. A smile takes over Harrison’s face –depending on the time he is either going to find you teaching at your home office or sitting on the kitchen counter looking at the sea with a cup of coffee in your hand. Both sights warm his body from his chest all the way down to his toes, giving him a sense of calm and happiness, he had long forgotten how to feel. He had been so used to being alone, that loneliness had made him numb to all other feelings. Until the first moment the two of you met and flipped the feelings switch to full force and given your late-night conversations in bed, the same happened to you.

A bright 9:15 greets him when he glances towards the digital clock on the nightstand, he’s not used to sleeping past 8 am but it was his day off. You’ll be done teaching your intro to psychology lecture soon, so Harrison decides to get up. He sits on the edge of the bed and stretches his arms upwards before standing and starting to make the bed. Fixing the pillows and sheet goes first, then the comforter on top and finally the many navy-blue decorative pillows you move to the armchair sitting in the corner of the bedroom every night. It’s become a routine of sorts for Harrison –at least on the days he gets to sleep in and doesn’t have to rush to the office before you’re completely awake. Harrison smiles as his mind pictures your half-asleep pouts as you pull him back to bed, trying to argue a case for five more minutes. There’s a 40-60 chance he’ll be convinced and hold you for a little bit longer. He really had it bad.

Shaking his head, Harrison goes to the bathroom where he pees, washes his hands and face and brushes his teeth before making his way to the kitchen. There’s a tray of croissants on the countertop with a post-it note next to it: 12 minutes @ 350F, its signed with a heart to which Harrison smiles. He starts preheating the oven and putting water to boil, and while he waits for that, he puts ground coffee in the French press. A couple of minutes later the water is ready so he pours it into the press and gets the croissants inside the oven, setting a timer so they don’t burn. Harrison decides to play some music, not too loud as you were still teaching, while he got the rest of breakfast ready. Strawberries, blueberries and watermelon are placed on the counter as well as 4 eggs, apricot jam and cheese for the croissants. He hums to himself as he gets a mixing bowl and a pan ready for the scrambled eggs and plates for the rest of the food. Even though you’ve lived together for only two months, he’s never felt more at home anywhere else –not even in his own house– and your first kiss, which happened 5 months ago, feels like it was just yesterday.

---- 5 months before -----

The sun has already set by the time you two leave Mrs. Pacelli’s restaurant after what was probably one of the best days in Harrison’s life. The two of you had talked all through supper, shifting from ridiculous conversations to more serious and personal ones with ease in between mouthfuls of pasta for him and lasagna for you. He’d enjoyed the way you had held hands on top of the table, his thumb absently caressing your knuckles as your eyes lighted up when you talked about the classes you taught in the winter semester. You were so passionate about helping and teaching your students and it was beautiful to see – if Harrison’s professors while in university had a third of your passion, he’s sure he would have enjoyed his classes more. He had listened to you talk about your family – and noticed the way you were a bit more relaxed when talking about your past now that he knew about your brother, Bryan.

That had really thrown him off at the beach, the coincidence of what had happed to your family and the family his department hadn’t been able to help. It was like his mind shut down right then and his guilt, the one that he carries with him like a heavy backpack, had doubled. That case was one of his biggest regrets, he should have pushed harder and tried to help more but he wasn’t in the same position he was at the moment. The shitty detective was born then, the self-deprecating way of referring to himself as a reminder of his failure to avoid doing the same once again. Knowing that you also had no answers about your brother’s death and that his killer was never caught had crushed his heart, he couldn’t imagine the pain you still have with you but he’s sure it’s no less than the one the family he let down showed the day he gave them the news. All his hopes had been crushed, but you had built them back up once you literally shook some sense into him. “I think we’re both done facing them alone,” you had said, and his demeanor had crumbled. There you were, the kindest soul he had met, pressing your forehead against his, crying with him as you offered your broken heart and waiting for him to give you his own broken one. It was you, how could he not? He was sure you’re who he’s been looking for all his life.

The air is chilly but not enough to make you shiver as April is just a week away, Harrison holds you close to his side anyways. “I didn’t know you had such a sweet tooth.” You chuckled, leaning your head against his shoulder. Harrison had ordered the tiramisu with chocolate ice cream on the side for dessert, claiming it was the best combo, which was the case. “Actually, I did know. You’re always getting double chocolate cookies when you visit the café.”

“I do have a sweet tooth, but only with my favorite desserts.” Harrison smiles.

“Hmm… well I’m honored.” You look up at him with a teasing smile and bright eyes, and he really wants to kiss you. “Thank you, Harrison.”

Harrison, he’s just Harrison now, not the detective but something else, something better.

His heart melts at the look in your eyes and he can’t keep the fondness he’s feeling from showing in his. “No need to thank me, love.”

The two of you walk by your café in silence as well as the next block over and up the hill towards your house. Harrison takes in the happy look on your face, your relaxed shoulders and how you’re not fidgeting around him. You’re both past nerves –baring your most painful secrets by the beach can do that sometimes. He catches two women walking their babies on the other side of the street give both of you odd looks, and it reminds him of the many eyes that were on you during dinner. Small town, big gossip. His back muscles tense.

“I’m sorry about all the staring during dinner.” Harrison says quietly into the night and you laugh softly.

“You’re apologizing for staring at me during our date?” You shake your head. “Harrison, you can stare at me, it’s actually nice to know you like what you see.”

Harrison presses a kiss on your temple and shakes his head. “No, not my staring, the other people at the restaurant and their whispering. They’re probably wondering how I managed to date you on their group chats.”

“I love this town, but they do little else than talk about whatever or whomever they see.” You shake you head as you both reach your front yard and make your way to your front door. “I told you Harrison, I want this, you. Over at the beach you said that’s what you wanted too, unless that changed over dinner?” You smile at Harrison and his heart skips a beat, it’s a teasing smile but he can see some worry in your eyes, so he is quick to answer.

“No, it hasn’t, at all. I just worry that it will make you uncomfortable.” He lets go of your left hand, which he was holding, to bring you closer to him by the waist.

“Then screw what people think.” You shake your head again and smile when Harrison’s eyebrows move up in surprise before leaning up and kissing him.

Your arms go around his neck at the same time Harrison holds you closer with his other arm and leans down. Your lips move against his in a soft caress. Considering hold long you’ve both admittedly wanted to do this, the kiss is gentle and steady, and Harrison wants to draw out every possible second of this first of many kisses. Your fingers wander from his neck to the short curls on the back of his head, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t make him weak in the knees for a second. Both your chests are pressed together, so he can hear that his heart isn’t the only one beating like crazy and the sigh that leaves your lips when he holds you tighter to his chest makes him smile, causing both of you to break apart. Your lips have been reddened by the kiss and frame a small smile on your face so Harrison, not helping himself, leans in again and presses three soft kisses on them before looking into your eyes.

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners and heart so full it could burst at any moment. “Wow.” Is all he can say. “That was…”

“So worth the wait.” You shake your head and bite your lip. “I think I speak for both of us when I say that, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

“Definitely.” Harrison chuckles, his right hand coming up to cup your cheek. “Thank you, for today.” He whispers and you lean into his touch.

You shrug your shoulders, always shying away from compliments. “Well thank you, I haven’t had such a good time in a while.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Harrison says, letting you go and taking a step back, his hand lingers on your cheek just a little bit longer before falling back to his side. “Good night, Y/N.”

You nod your head, “Good night, Harrison. You know where I’ll be.”

Harrison chuckles and nods his head as well, waiting for you to walk to your front door before starting to walk away. He can’t contain the smile that’s on his face, it’s definitely making his cheeks hurt, as he’s not used to smiling so often. Not since a while ago. It’s only become a recurring thing since he met you. His ray of sunshine in a previously grey life, with the warmest smile that always reminds him of the first sip of good coffee in the morning. He’s gone, one hundred percent gone on you and he can’t even begin to believe his luck. Not 10 seconds pass after he starts walking when he turns around and runs back to you. He’s surprised to also see you walking back to him before you share another kiss.

This one is different than the one before, not drawing out the moment anymore but enjoying that this can happen now. I can kiss you, it seemed to say, I can kiss you any time I want, I like you so much. Harrison feels like his floating but his hands on your cheeks keep him grounded and so does your tongue grazing his bottom lip, letting him know it’s all amazingly real.

“I can’t believe I almost left without a goodnight kiss.” You whisper. “I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

Harrison laughs and nods, “Neither could I.” When you laugh at his reply and kiss him again, he knows this is one of the best decisions he’s made in his life.

----Present Day-----

The croissants are cooling on the counter when Harrison feels you wrap your arms around his waist while he finishes up the scrambled eggs. They’re firm and cooked through – the two of you hated runny and soft eggs, something about the texture was just not appetizing at all.

“Good morning.” You mumble against the soft cotton of his t-shirt and rest your cheek against his back. Harrison feels you lean into him, and he smiles.

“Good morning, love. How was your lecture?” Harrison turns off the stove and sets the pan on the counter so he can turn around to face you. His arms wrap themselves around your waist and he leans down to kiss your lips. You walk backwards until you’re leaning against the kitchen island and let yourself melt in Harrison’s arms as his lips caress yours, humming when they move to kiss your jaw and stop with one on your cheek.

Your eyes are glazed over and your smile is relaxed as you look up at him and it’s Harrison that tries not to melt. “The lecture was as good, well… as good as it can be when it starts at 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday. The summer schedule is brutal.”

“Yeah, whoever planned that is messed up.” Harrison scrunches up his nose. “I’m sure you make up for the ungodly hour of the lecture with your teaching though, I wouldn’t mind them if you were my professor.”

“I think you’re biased.” You wink at him before running a hand through his hair, Harrison can’t help closing his eyes. “Thank you for making breakfast, love. Is there something I can help with?”

Your question makes him open his eyes, you’re looking at the plates on the kitchen island and the food ready to be plated. “You can get the coffee to the balcony, it’s nice out so I thought we could have an outdoor breakfast.”

“You got it, handsome.” You stand on the tip of your toes to peck his lips and get two mugs before walking towards the French press. Harrison finally has a chance to really look at you that morning. White t-shirt tucked into a long sky-blue skirt with tiny white flowers printed on it and simple black sandals. You were stunning and he was damn lucky.

Smiling, Harrison puts a croissant on each plate next to the fruit he washed and sliced and finishes it off with the scrambled eggs on the side. The jam and butter, as well as the cutlery are already out on the balcony, so he gets both plates and joins you outside. “You look gorgeous.” Harrison says before he places a kiss on your cheek when he sets your plate in front of you.

“Thank you honey. This looks delicious, specially the croissants.” You duck your face and smile. “And so do you by the way, your morning hair is sexy.”

Harrison laughs and shrugs before taking the seat opposite yours. “I think watching Bake Off helped me avoid burning them.”

You nod your head in agreement. “Bake Off is basically what prompted me to bake so I have no doubt they helped you.” With that the two of you dig in, spreading apricot jam on the croissant and eating the fruit on the plate while you talked.

“I have 3 scheduled meetings with my students this weekend, everyone is panicking about the midterm on Tuesday.” You bring a piece of strawberry to your mouth and chew on it, “I’ve told them a million times I’m not a monster.”

Harrison takes a sip of his coffee and shakes his head. “Every test is scary though, I used to hate them.” He bites onto his almost finished croissant again, the flaky pastry falling onto the plate underneath. “Do you want me to drive with you to Cambridge on Tuesday? I don’t mind.”

He knows how hard it is for you to drive back to a place where so many good and bad memories come from, not to mention all the stares and the whispers. He’d been there with you a couple months back for your brother’s death anniversary and he’d felt so protective when he saw just how bad all the stares were. Look away, don’t you have anything else to do? Harrison had wanted to yell, but he settled for holding your hand and letting you take your time when you visited the graveyard. There have been good days and bad days when it comes to your mood, and he’s always made sure to give you all the space that you need during the bad ones. You stay in bed during those ones, or out in the balcony, and Harrison is always there waiting when you come up to him and say I think I’m ready for a hug now.

You shake your head no and sip your coffee, breakfast finished in front of you. “No, it’s alright. I’m just going to the campus and back, I don’t want to keep you from work just for that, someone might need help.”

Harrison smiles at you and the adorable way you squint your eyes at the sun, always so caring and so brave. His heart swells with love for you. It’s unlikely that anyone would need help, considering how uneventful the last 4 months have been –which was great, specially taking into account what the town went through during the last case. There’s only been minor cases here and there, land disputes between some families and cattle theft but no murders, no mysteries. Harrison has been helping the neighbor town, Diep, after they heard about him solving the Mensen murder. Sometimes they need an extra pair of eyes for a case and since nothing was going on in Dewitt, he left his assistant DI in charge before lending a hand.

“Alright, if you’re sure.” He nods his head, “Are things crazy with the semester being halfway done?”

You nod and take another sip of coffee, leaning back on your chair. “I have so many papers to mark, that’s why I prefer smaller groups.” Running a hand through your hair you chuckle to yourself, “And yes, I also have been procrastinating.”

Harrison laughs and holds his hands up, “I didn’t say anything!”

“I know you were going to.” You wink at him and glance at your watch. “I’m going to procrastinate a little more though and do the dishes while you change, then we can head down to the café.”

“Sounds good, beautiful.” Harrison nods, getting up and placing a kiss on your lips. He ignores your protests when he starts to pick up some plates and helps you carry everything back to the kitchen before heading to the en-suite in your bedroom.

After a shower and shaving, he moves to the closet where he picks a white shirt and brown pants which he promptly puts on before grabbing ankle socks and his white sneakers. Harrison feels his chest swell as he sits down on the bed and looks at your clothes next to his, it seems surreal that you live together now. It sure had prompted many looks and gossip in Dewitt but with happiness like the both of you were experiencing, it didn’t bother him. Shaking his head but keeping the smile on his face, Harrison puts on his socks and shoes before heading back to the bathroom where he fixes his hair and puts on deodorant and cologne. Once he is all ready to go, he makes sure to grab his phone, car keys, home keys and wallet before joining you out on the balcony again.

He leans on the doorframe for a second before actually going outside though, taking in how lovely you look lounging in the sun. You’ve got your laptop in front of you, where you’re probably scanning something lecture related, your skirt is moving with the wind and so is your hair. You’re absolutely breathtaking, and Harrison realizes that it’s become a thing for him to stand in the doorway completely in awe of you before you catch him staring. It’s happened at the café before you started dating and it just happened again when you look up from your laptop screen and smile. Harrison can feel his ears burn as he smiles back and walks towards you.

“Ready to go?”

You nod your head, “Give me a second, honey.” You shut your laptop closed and place it inside your tote bag, then grab a binder and try to stuff it in there too. Try being the key word here, as it is too big for the purse and you end up carrying it on your arms. “All ready!”

Harrison takes your outstretched hand in his, places a quick kiss on your knuckles before the two of you walk back to the house and out to Harrison’s car. He opens the door for you before going to the driver’s seat and starting the car once you’re both settled. It’s not a long drive but Harrison wants to enjoy his day off, he might offer you to go for a drive when you’re on your break. It’d be nice to get away for a bit, maybe park the car somewhere overlooking the water to relax to the sound of the waves.

You open the door and flip the Closed sign to the Open side at 10:25 and set your purse on your usual table once you step inside. The two of you greet the two summer employees —both students who love to bake and were looking for a summer job— before you go to the back of the front counter to start grinding some coffee beans and Harrison sits down on an empty chair at your table. He takes a deep breath, welcoming the beautiful smell of fresh coffee you’re making and fresh pastries coming from the kitchen. He smiles to himself as he sees you move around the espresso machine and the bookshop on the right side of the café, getting everything ready for your customers. He remembers coming here every day while he worked the Mensen murder, your smile when you greeted him was the highlight of his day, as was your kindness and easy conversation. You look at peace, focused but relaxed as you do what you love —besides teaching of course. He hopes your trip to Cambridge on Tuesday goes well; he’s always admired how strong you are for going back to a place that gives you so many painful memories. Harrison can’t blame you for your gloomy mood whenever you come back from those trips, he just wishes there was something he could do to make it better.

After a couple minutes you approach the table, set an earl grey tea in front him, give him a short kiss and sit on the chair in front of him with a cup of coffee on your hands. Harrison thanks you as you take your computer out of your bag, power it up and open the binder holding all the class’ assignments. He’s about to ask you about the drive during lunch time when his phone rings.

Harrison glances down at the caller and sees it’s DI Mullins, from Diep. “DI Osterfield speaking.”

“Detective, sorry to call you today. The station informed me it was your day off but there has been an incident over here in Diep and some information has resurfaced. We might have a lead that will open a Pandora box of a case, but we need another set of eyes to look at it before we can confirm this lead.” Mullins sounds exhausted but there is urgency and anxiousness in his voice.

Harrison frowns, whatever happened has shaken him up pretty badly. “What happened?”

“I think it’s better if I tell you in person. Can you and your team come over as soon as you can?” The nervous undertone places a feeling of dread in Harrison’s stomach.

“I’ll be right over.” He nods, even though Mullins can’t see him. “Let me gather my team and we’ll head there.”

You look up and Harrison knows you can see the concern on his face; you reach out a hand across the table. “Harrison, is everything alright?”

He takes your hand and sets his phone down. “I’m not sure, only that DI Mullins needs help with a case it Diep. It sounds serious.” Harrison frowns again, remembering his plans for lunch. “I’m sorry love, I know it was my day off and we-”

“Honey, it’s fine, go help them.” You squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring smile and a nod.

Harrison takes a deep breath and lets it out before standing up. He moves towards you and gently cups your cheeks on his hands, he leans down and places a lingering kiss on your lips. He keeps your foreheads touching for a brief moment before whispering, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Your breath mingles with his. “Be careful okay?”

Harrison nods. “I promise.”

Then, with a kiss to your forehead he steps back, takes his phone from the table and heads out of the café. Dread is bubbling in the pit of his stomach for some reason, something about Mullins tone and his reluctance to say anything else on the phone has left him uneasy. As he gets in the car and speed dials his office, he can’t help feeling like something was about to begin after 4 months of quiet.

---

tagging some beautiful beans who I think would like this: @once-upon-a-storyy @peeterparkr @angelhaz11 @hollandharrison

#Harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fic #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield #haz osterfield fic #pauwrites #dancing under the rain fic

33 notes · View notes

niktizzy · 6 years ago

Text

*~feeling nostalgic for myspace surveys~*

1) Sexuality?

Straight

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

This is probably a lame answer but, I think Gronk would be cool to hang with

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

So this is embarrassing, I don’t have any books upstairs yet

4) What do you think about most?

Work, money, why do people make noise when their running away from a killer in a horror movie or run upstairs

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Aye can you order me 2 chicken tacos “

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Depends on my mood and what season it is lol

7) What’s your strangest talent?

I have a rather good green thumb

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls are beautiful

Boys are back in town

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I know of

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Probably a year or so, I really want to dive back into it though

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I just like to have things clean and not cluttered but my car and room are a bit messy lol

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

I have a hoop in my nose

13) What’s your religion?

I guess like a Christian? Idk, I have my own beliefs

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Working

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it 100%

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Oof, at the moment, either Belmont or Trash Boat. All time has to be either Neck Deep or Blink

17) What was the last lie you told?

I’m fine

18) Do you believe in karma?

A B S O L U T L E Y

19) What does your URL mean?

Nothing really, just my screen name, which is my wanna be rap name lol

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Very trusting is my weakness. My greatest strength is honestly keeping up walls and head strong

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Michael B. Jordan

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Lol a lonnnnng time ago

23) How do you vent your anger?

I usually just bottle it up or I talk to my dad

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I use to collect snow globs but now I seem to just collect house stuff lol. I want to start collecting dvds or like plants? Idk lol

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I love talking on the phone tbh

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

So far, yes. I am proud of the person I have become but I’m still growing

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

VELCRO I HATE THAT SOUND. Waves crashing and thunderstorms are my go to sounds

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I never went to college and just got experience

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Spirits and yes, absolutely

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

My coffee and nothing I’m on my couch haha

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

This amazing candle from yankee candle

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Toledo lol nah but really

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Thousand Below’s singer is hot af

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

I have a multiple of ideals, we are born to die is one. The other is to go through life and learning and developing different ways to survive so in the next life, you have a better transition. But again, who knows

36) Define Art.

Something you feel

37) Do you believe in luck?

Yes

38) What’s the weather like right now?

FREEZING COLD

39) What time is it?

12:40pm

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do, when I was like 17. I was going 5mph, women ran a red light, boom

41) What was the last book you read?

The Amityville Horror

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Love it

43) Do you have any nicknames?

Nik

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Halloweentown

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Any of my broken bones lol

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Not really

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Finding horror movie posters lol

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

Heterosexual

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Oh yeah lol

50) Do you believe in magic?

I honestly do

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Sadly I do

52) What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53) Do you save money or spend it?

Save it, I only go to work and pay bills and get food

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Groceries

55) Love or lust?

We are all hoping for love and we usually get lust lol

56) In a relationship?

Nah

57) How many relationships have you had?

Real ones? A handful

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope lol

59) Where were you yesterday?

I was at work all day

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Nope

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

62) What’s your favorite animal?

The hammer head shark

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I tried flirting, but I think just being relatable or being myself

64) Where is your best friend?

Lauren

65) Spit or swallow?(;

Neither

66) What is your heritage?

Native American and Irish

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping, I was OUT

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I feel like he doesn’t have one, it’s kind of like Cher

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

No one else is going to do it lol

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I mean yeah, I think I’m pretty cool

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Grab the dog and take him to work with me, it’s like a doctors slip but you know, it’s a dog

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I wouldn’t tell anyone

b) I would continue living but spend more time with people that matter and just make sure everything and everyone is taken care of

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Gold Steps- Neck Deep or Faithfully- Journey

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

****

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

What makes things work is having similar interest. Most of my relationships were just awful because they were either wayyy into left field with my interest or didn’t even have the same ones all together. I think you need to be each others best friends, be able to be comfortable with each others company

77) How can I win your heart?

Tacos, beer, horror movies, sports

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

All signs point to yes

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Putting myself before anyone else

80) What size shoes do you wear?

Depends on the shoe, most of the time 9.5

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Believe with UFO’s on it

82) What is your favorite word?

Cowabunga

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

A bloody mess that keeps you alive in your chest cavity

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

Honestly, literally, fook, fuck, dude

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

I was listening to this playlist https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX3MU5XUozve7?si=SS24TA9sTG6L5bFZ8W_feQ

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

If you look in my closet it’s mostly black, gray, and maroon. I’m trying to like mustard but eh

87) What is your current desktop picture?

Desert

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Someone from my past

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Why do you were a mask every time you step out of your house?

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Keep the light on because it’s obviously a full moon and they live from the moon light and try to find an exit quietly

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Jumper aka teleportation

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Warped tour 2011

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

No comment

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

OOOOF probably Winston McCall

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Australia

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Not that I remember

98) Ever been on a plane?

Yes only 2 times

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, MIND YA BUSINESS AND GRIND

#myspace survey #survey #truths

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emohipster · 3 years ago

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I'm American and yeah museums cost money, combo meals cost 10+$ unless its McDonald's where you can feed the whole family for around 20$. The unhealthy food is more affordable than healthy and everything is taxed and upcharged, like the 40$ bandaids from the ER if they put it on your medical bill. Some jobs do offer paid time off! My job is supposed to if you are full time and you earn them through the year depending on how much you work. However they arent required to list you as full time regardless of the hours you work. I have worked 40+ hours a week with this grocery chain since May at 2 separate stores due to transferring. When I inquired about being switched over to full time they laughed and said they could work me for however many hours they please. Your employer does NOT care about you. In the radio we play in the store they state that we are hiring for all departments and that we offer so many good benefits like 401K or Healthcare but they hold that in front of you and dont let you have it no matter how many 6 day weeks you work or how many days you come in at 6pm and dont leave until 8AM. What about the fact that our federal minimum wage is still less than 8$ even for some higher experience jobs. You can barely feed yourself off that one hour of work, that first hour of work basically insures you can eat during your shift but if you have to pay for gas or rent then tough luck guess you aren't getting lunch today. A large bag of lays is 5$ here, that's over half of some people's paycheck for an item that 2 years ago was only a little over 2-3$. What about water? A cold bottle of the store brand water which is smaller than name brand is 1.25$ a case of 24+ at a Walmart is only around 3.50$ and when your tap water is not drinkable it adds up. I am one of the lucky ones by make 11.50$, I have no benefits, I still have no way to afford rent and auto insurance or even the amount of money I have to spend on car parts all of which I have to install myself due to a mechanic costing upwards of 2K to change your distributor when. You can change it yourself in less than 2 hours and the part brand new is only about 50$ for the part for my cars year model.

Oh and before I forget that's not even taking into account the racist and homophobic/transphobic issues either. There is a wage gap that still exists. On average cis female workers still make less than their counterparts. When a employer finds out your sex at birth it can also be problematic as well, some will not hire you due to it or WILL dead name you as often as possible. They are not supposed to be able to fire you for your sexuality or gender however if you work in a "right to work" state then they can fire you for something as simple as body odor, hair color, not mopping well enough or sabotaging you by placing dirt in a location already cleaned. This also applies strongly to POC as the wage gap also applies my foster sister a few years ago made 2$ less then her coworkers even though she would do the same amount of work if not more. She was fired due to being a trans lesbian as the owner found out from his daughter that my foster sister was allowed to use the women's restroom at school despite passing to the point she would have been hate crimed in the mens restroom. One of my foster parents was fired from her job for being multi-racial stating "her cultural beliefs did not match with what the company needs" and with prior hate speech being used commonly. Her boss had extreme issues with part of her fathers family being Jamaican. All instigated by the fact she would wash the chicken before cooking it and that she told the owner they were mixing the incorrect cleaning chemicals together and that it was dangerous. They can and will use any prejudice they can against you and they can turn anything into a fireable offense.

America is NOT the land of the free. It is a capitalist nightmare.

#workers #america #workers rights #capitalist system #capitalist hell #right to work state #right to work

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mowseries · 6 years ago

Text

Allies Obstruct

=INTRO D: COLLAPSING PEACE=

((Courtesy of @codedhopes & @super-tired-robot))

<<—Previous——————Table of Contents——————Next—>>

//:LOG IN SUCCESSFUL. WELCOME, NO. Ø

//:LOADING FILES…

//:FILES LOADED. ENTER COMMAND PROMPT.

//:COMMAND> CHECK REVELATION.EXE STATUS

//:RUNNING…

//:CALCULATIONS COMPLETE. DATA HAS BEEN UPDATED, SAVED AND UPLOADED TO DESIGNATED PROGRAM. FILE REMAINS QUARANTINED. PROGRAM IS RUNNING NORMALLY.

//:COMMAND>PREPARE ENDGAME FILE FOR UPLOAD. DESTINATION: NBCA DATABASE SERVER, CHERRYDYNAMICS MAINFRAME SERVER, ALL

//:RUNNING…

//:ENDGAME FILE HAS BEEN PREPARED FOR UPLOAD. UPLOAD NOW?

//COMMAND>SET TIMER: JUNE 21, 20XX, 11:45 AM.

//:RUNNING…

//:TIMER SET. RUNNING SCAN…

//:WARNING: VIRUS DETECTED IN FILE! SOURCE: REVELATION.EXE. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO UPLOAD THIS FILE?

//:COMMAND>YES.

//:RUNNING…

//:COMMAND SET. ENDGAME FILE WILL UPLOAD IN: 24 HOURS.

//COMMAND>SEND MASS MESSAGE TO: DLN-001.5 [CONTACT: CALEB LIGHT], DLN-001 [CONTACT: ROCKWELL LIGHT], DWN-INFINITY. [CONTACT: MZ WILY]

//:ENTER MESSAGE…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

//:MESSAGE RECEIVED. FROM: Ø [CONTACT: RAY] SENT: 11:46 AM.

//: …Where should I begin…?

//: …Ah…right. I suppose an apology is in order, firstly…it’s been quite some time since I’ve spoken to any of you, and I’m sorry. Truly. Some of you are angry with me, I know, and it is my fault. I know I’ve been rather reclusive these last few months, and…there is a reason for it. Several, in fact, of which I will now tell you, the people that have made my wretched existence…a little easier. A little more…brighter.

//: …I have been working on several projects--this is what was eating up most of my time. One of which is looking for a more permanent solution for my deteriorating condition, caused by my lack of a central core. I have searched for many, many decades, and with the recently opened rifts that have appeared these last few years--the very same ones that have led me to you all--did bring up some new leads…

//: …But all I have found are…dead ends. EVERYWHERE I look only reminds me that I am cursed, and that nothing can fix me. That I...

//: I…I’m running out of time. It grows worse, my horrid curse…I am falling apart more rapidly, I must hunt more frequently…and…and the pains…

//: It hurts now. I feel as if I am rotting away from the inside out. It hurts…so much. I cannot…hold myself together for long…there is only…pain…hunger…pain…and hunger…

//: Ngh–!!

//: Hunger…consume…feed…! I can’t–need…more–!!

[…There is silence, it was as if the message was edited and continued much later…did she mean to send this before the virus had been released?]

//: Hnn...

//: I...I'm fine. I don't know for how long...I...

//: ….Do you see now?

//: I…I am not long for this world.

//:…This…world…

//: …This world. This cheap, thrill-seeking world, only caring about their advertised construct battles and those who provide it! As long as humans, the sinful ones, have that to entertain them…their precious Battle Colosseum…their so-called heroes…! They care about nothing else…

//: And it’s all because of them that I am this way. All of it. All of it. ALL OF IT. I would have never resorted to such disgusting ways of survival if it wasn’t for them! The NBCA, CherryDyn, and ESPECIALLY HIM…

//: I was doomed! Doomed from the start! Doomed to fall! Doomed to die! I...!

//: ...

//: …I refuse to leave this mortal earth…fading away in some…dark, lonely corner, amongst the filth and the departed…by my own hands…god, no. I won't--I can't subject you all to that. I can't let you watch me slowly wither and die when there's nothing to be done, I can't...I can't bear you to that pain.

//: No.

//: If I am to die…If I am to be sent to the Void, never to return…if I am to burn, burn in hell…

//: Then this world will burn with me. Along with all those who have wronged me. CherryDyn. The Colosseum. Humanity.

//: They will burn…they will pay for their sins…pay…in blood, in Xel…it doesn’t matter.

//: ...

//: Don’t bother trying to stop me. The rifts are beginning to close…as if the fates already know how this ends…as if they knew all along that this was my role to play.

//: …And no matter what happens, I…will be no more…

//: I just…

//: ….

//: I can’t…take this anymore. The endless slaughter…the constant…fear…I can’t…there is nothing…I can do…I can’t be saved, no matter what Beck says. No matter what...God...

//: Cale, my love...

//: …Caleb Light…my dauntless rebel…I love you so, so much. I gave you…everything I had left…everything that I am…and…you are the best–no…the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. My light in the darkness…my Mate…I’m so sorry I have to put you through this. I know...I can hear your words now, saying that I shouldn't do this, but you must understand--If I die--the people that made me what I am will go on to hurt countless others. It's not just vengeance, my Light--I want Justice. They need to pay, while I am still the only one alive to remember their sins. Please…forgive me…this...this isn't how I wanted it to end.

//: I love you.

//: Rock…MZ…I give you my blessings…focus on the future you have now, together…whenever you DO get married, eventually…that is, if you haven’t already. Don’t let me…ruin it with my acts of vengeance. Just…stay out of it. Please. This is more than just about me--CherryDyn is far, far more crueler than what I have told you. There are things that they do in the shadows that...

//: I swear, I will make them all pay for what they’ve done… As my last sin, as my last will…these humans will all die, like they should, and they will know what happens when they cross a predator…

//: …

//: I…don’t want to cut this short. But the wheels have been set into motion already. Even I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to. And even if I could…

//: ...

//: Days…hours…that’s all I have left…A week, at most. More if I can starve off the hunger right. If...if you do manage to come here, please be careful.

//: …

//: I��m sorry. This is probably the last you will hear from me. I...

//: I'm sorry I'm so sick...

//: I'm sorry I'm so broken, I...

//: I'm sorry. I'm sorry...

//: …Good-bye.

[END OF MESSAGE.]

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

{Titus, CA Colosseum June 21st, 20XX

11:40 AM}

[The day started out like any other.

Cardinal was excited. This was going to be his first time seeing the Mighties fight together. Finally, after all the long months of suffering and loneliness…]

Cardinal: (This is gonna be great…! Too bad Baron couldn’t be here. He loves a good battle royale!)

[It was all he could do to not go down to the locker room right this minute.

He’d waited all this time to see his friends again. Waiting a few hours longer wasn’t going to hurt him.

…Or so he thought.]

{Meanwhile…}

“Come ON, Beck! Hurry up, we’re gonna be late!”

“C-Coming, Cryo!”

“We’ve spent enough time walking down memory lane in the trophy room. We have to get to the arena before they call us out for our return debut match.”

“WE KNOW, Pyro. Jeezzz, calm down.”

“I believe he is only excited to be back in familiar stomping grounds. Isn’t that right, Bat?”

“TOO RIGHT, Brand!”

“Heh. We’re ALL glad t’ be home, yeah…. Ah’ look forward t’ givin’ ‘em all a good show.”

“MAN, I am so stoked for this! Hey, I hope they get my good side, ya know? Course, I look good in ALL angles.”

“…Avi not focused.”

“Mic is right. It’s time to get out there. Everyone! PLACES!”

[The team responded enthusiastically in unison.]

“YES SIR NO.1!”

[The crowd burst into cheers as the Mighties took their place on the field.]

Cardinal: -Whistles LOUDLY, pinging with excitement-

“Laaaaadies and gentlebots! Men, women, and children of all ages! Please put your hands together for your returning Queen's Tournament Champions, TEAM MIGHTY NUM—"

[KSSSSssssst…]

Cardinal: —???

[There was a disquieted murmur amongst the crowd. Cardinal suddenly felt grim.]

<DLN-000>: >Guys, I think something is…

<DLN-000>: > Something’s not right over here—

[sssKKKKT--]

[MN.1] //: Hnnk...I...I don’t…

[MN.7] //: -Suddenly horribly dizzy, what, what is—-

[MN.4] //: -Mic—Mic no like these new voices—-

[MN.8] //: -Ah'—Cards—CARDS—-

<DLN-000>: > ?! -Distressed data, CONCERN— -

<DLN-000>: > What is it? What's going on, Shade?

[PING!]

[MN.9] //: Guys?! What's going on, are you okay—?!

[MN.9] //: Why am I getting warnings from my—

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN—

[Chaos began rising as alarms started going off everywhere.]

Cardinal: !

Attention! Attention! This is Code Red! Please evacuate the arena calmly and quickly! This is not a drill! Please—

[Fights were starting to escalate within the crowd. Cardinal had instinctively shifted into his armor.]

[MN.6] //: nngh ow ow ow ow-

[MN.3] //: -Erractic buzzing and SCREECHING—-

[MN.2] //: Can't think—about anything—!

[MN.5] //: c-compromised, stand clear—

Cardinal: Guys?!

[WARNING. WARNING. VIRUS DETECTED IN SERVER. FIREWALL PROGRAMS HAVE FAILED.]

[Someone suddenly grabs at Cardinal—a civilian model, jaw open in a war cry, bathed in violet flames and unrelenting rage.]

Cardinal: !!! -Gives a backhand hit, jumping up high-

[He recognized those flames.

Those were the flames of berserk rage: a sick madness, one that deprives the victim of all reason and most free will.]

[Cardinal used Item-1!]

Cardinal: -Hovers in place, looking down at the sands-

[To his horror, he could see flickers starting to form around the Mighty Numbers.

It had been bad enough to see them amongst the crowd, with the world devolving into chaos.

To see them now, on his friends—]

Cardinal: NO!

[It was rapidly turning to the darkness of his absolute /worst nightmares/.]

[MN.1-8 HAVE BEEN INFECTED WITH HARMFUL MALWARE. RUNNING XELFILTER.EXE FOR MN.9]

[The stands were a jumbled mess. The exits were jammed with people trying to escape, with fights and aggressive, infected Xelbots barring the way.]

Bat: Cowards...

Bat: Can’t even STAND THEIR GROUND!

Cardinal: [Glitch]—

[WARNING: MN.1-8 HAVE ENTERED FULL COMBAT MODE. RESTRICTIONS: NONE.]

<DLN-000 has entered Non-Lethal Combat Mode.>

[Without another thought, Cardinal swings himself over the barrier and into the sands, his whistle piercing through the air—]

Shade: -Winces—!- Hnn—! (Too loud—!)

Beck: —! Cardinal—!

[BLAM!]

[Cardinal’s shot intercepted Bat’s round in a high-blast of plasma cannon fire. This prevented the shot from reaching the crowds, but the round exploded in the air instead. Cardinal had to shield from the shrapnel.]

Cardinal: SHUT DOWN! SHUT DOWN IMMEDIATELY!

Bat: How dare you presume to give orders, you foolhardy DESERTER—

Cardinal: ! -Staggers back, taking a firmer stance- We can fix this! You need to trust me—!

Shade: -Pain, fighting off an urge to make him shut up- C-Cards…! Get…

Shade: GET LOST! NOW!

Cardinal: Not in a million lifetimes, Shade!

Brand: Can't you see that we're going OUT OF CONTROL, YOU RECKLESS DEATHSEEKER—

[And just like that, there were eight sets of eyes trained onto Cardinal.]

[He was surrounded.]

Beck: NO—!!!

[Things were spiraling out of control too quickly—they were all rushing at Cardinal, there was no way he would—]

<DLN-000 has entered Lethal Combat Mode.>

[He abruptly shifted into full armor and dropped to the ground. Pyro’s tackle missed, and he tripped up the team leader with a well-placed low kick before springing back to his feet, blasting away at bits that were trying to swarm him.]

[Cardinal used SUPER ARM!]

[WHAM!]

[Cardinal grabbed Pyro by the ankle before he could get up, and SLAMMED him right into Cryo before she could freeze him solid.

He sprung up in the air and landed right on Bat’s shoulder.]

Cardinal: -Aggressive data-

Beck: O~O!!!

[Meanwhile, all Beck could do was back away slowly, eyes darting fearfully from one sibling to another. Why was this happening? Why were they ACTING like this—?!]

Brand: Stop showing off and get OUT of here, before—

[There was an insanely mad cackle as Cardinal was lifted right off of the walking WMD, with Dyna coming down from the sky.]

Dyna: Szzo enthusiastic! You must have such intense energy!

Shade: -AaaAAUUGH DYNA—! DON’T—!!-

[Cardinal didn’t even seem to try and get out of it, just pulled his shield in closer with a grim expression while bits were weaving a web around him.]

Dyna: What’szz WRONG, Cardinal? Iszz the birdie unable to fly away from the web?

Beck: NO—!

[Cardinal abruptly smirked as Dyna loomed in closer. It was a dark smirk, and his eyes glowed red with cruel intent.]

Beck: —!!! (No—I know that look! That red color—don't tell me he’s—!)

[Cardinal was NOT infected… at least, no more than he had once warned long ago.

As a veteran Wilybot and soldier, he didn’t give his enemy any warning: not even a gloat of confidence.]

[Cardinal used LEAF SHIELD!]

[There was a piercing SHRIEK of pain on the part of the electric diva as a swarm of razor-sharp, leaf-shaped metal created a cloud of shrapnel around the Robot Master in question. Dyna backed away, giving off glitched scree noises. By this point, several of the other Mighty Numbers had vanished in the turmoil; it was at this point that Dyna herself took her cue to leave.

His victory was short-lived, however, as a red blur shredded the projectile shield into a fine mist, before placing his swords right against the prototype’s throat.]

((Pic—Cardinal v Brand))

Brand: -Seethes- How DARE you toy with us at a time like this!

[Cardinal was instantly gone, teleported across the sands to avoid incoming fire from above. Brandish moved quickly as well, but not quite quickly enough to avoid unfriendly fire.]

Avi: Awww, couldn’t you have held him a little longer, ninjabro? You know what they say—

Shade: -Struggling to retain self-control, even as he starts locking onto Cardinal’s signal- Avi, Ah’ swear if you PUN at a tahm like THIS—

Avi: “A bird in the HAND is worth two in the bush!”

[The sniper gave a cry of frustration and fired off a shot. This action seemed to somehow be a succession, a submission—caving in, weakening the resolve.

The shot was dodged easily, due to the interference that offset the sniper’s aim.]

Beck: AVI! BRAND! SHADE! GUYS! S T O P!

Avi: -Ignores Beck entirely- Watch where you’re pointing that thing! And don’t you tell ME what to do— I have plenty to say, and this time, nobody’s going to stop me!

>CROSS-REFERENCES IDENTIFIED: MONSTROPOLIS, DLN-008, DWN-014

Cardinal: -SURGE of aggressive data out of frantic dismay- Avi, DON’T—!

[The plane gave a click noise as he gave finger guns…]

K-PEW!

Cardinal: ! -SHIELDS-

[—which actually fired a pair of shots at Cardinal this time.]

Avi: Yeah, this has been nice and all, but I’ve gotta go to work! Seeee you on the air! Or see the replays of your dismantling, more likely.

Shade: -Snarls- Get OUT—!

[BANG!]

Avi: -AAAAAND that’s our cue BYE NOW— -

[Cardinal didn’t get time to object to this, as he had to teleport to avoid being cut in half by Brandish.]

Beck: NII-SAAAAAAAN!

[Brandish abruptly halts before finishing his next move, which allows Cardinal to get away.]

Beck: Brand! Please stop! I-I can call Dad, he can—

Brand: NO—!

[Brandish literally shakes as he steps away, gritting his teeth under his mask.]

Brand: I—can’t—

Beck: Nii-san—!

Brand: Get out of here, GO—!

Brand: NOW!

[BWIP!]

[And just like that, he was gone—]

Beck: BRAND—!

“Don't--Cards, m'beggin' ya, don't get close—”

[Beck whirls around to find Cardinal making close steps towards Shade, who was backing off with every step he took...]

Shade: S’ too late—! Get out, get out— take Beck an' get OUT—

Cardinal: I’m not leaving without you! I WON'T LEAVE YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF MONSTROPOLIS! The feds would—

Shade: Ah' SAID, take Beck an' LEAVE—

Cardinal: -Eyes full green and BLARING distressed data- YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, CONSCIOUS OR NOT—

Shade: AH' SAID LEAVE!

[CLICK—]

Beck: —?!

[Beck is suddenly starting down the red barrel of his brother's sniper rifle—he's frozen in place, out of shock and fear—]

Cardinal: —!!

Cardinal: NO—! SHADE! SHADE DON’T—!

[A red flash of light blinds Beck for a moment—it was Cardinal, teleporting in front of him to take the dart that had been fired at him instead—]

[Byuubyuubyuu…!]

Beck: ?! Cards?!?

[He isn't there anymore--he was suddenly gone, and that's when Beck realized that Shade had used one of his teleport darts--]

[Click.]

Beck: Wait, Shade, NO—!

[BANG—]

[S Y S T E M E R R ROR–S YSTEM E R R ROR–]

[MN.9 HAS BEEN DAMAGED BY HARMFUL MALWARE. PREPARING HARD RESET. ALL FORMS WILL BE LOST.]

“GUYS–NO–NOOO–!!”

<<—Previous——————Table of Contents——————Next—>>

#Allies Obstruct #Mighty No. 9 #Mighty 9 #Mega Man #MegaMan #cje #codedhopes #mowseries

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amymillcr · 6 years ago

Text

QUESTIONNAIRE with AMELIA CAROLINA MILLER

# OF Qs ANSWERED: 150

1. if they were a candle, what scent would they be?

“ i never really thought about it, so i’m going with a lemon scented one. because i may or may not have an obsession with lemons. “

2. what female celebrity do they wish was their sister?

“ ooooh, emily blunt without a doubt in mind !! she’s so great and funny and beautiful, i would love to be her sister.”

3. what male celebrity do they wish was their brother?

“ is it bad if i say pete davidson so i can be ariana’s sister-in-law ?? it is ?? okay... i will choose john mulaney. “

4. how old do they think they’ll be when they get married?

“ with the current state of my love life ?? never. but i think 30 would be a good age to get married. “

5. how many countries have they been to?

“ never been out of the states, unfortunately enough. “

6. what would they name their daughter if they had one?

“ helena. i like the sound of it and the meaning of the name, so yeah. i would choose helena. “

7. what would they name their son if they had one?

“ hmmm, i never thought about a boy name ?? but, i like the name anthony. so that will be my answer for now. “

8. what was their favorite tv show as a child?

“ totally spies !! three girls being badass and saving the world ?? count me the fuck in !! “

9. what language, besides their native language, would they like to be fluent in?

“ italian. i downloaded duolingo once to learn a bit, but that shit doesn’t work for me at all. mainly because i would get a notification and just shrug it off. “

10. would they ever change their name? if so, to what?

“ as common as my name is, i don’t think so. because one: i never thought of any other name i would like to be called. and two: i think my name fits me. “

11. what was the last compliment they got?

“ a seven-year-old camper told me my hair is pretty. “

12. what is their favorite flavor of tea?

“ green tea. but i only drink it mixed with black tea in the morning to get energized. “

13. how did they find out that santa and the easter bunny weren’t real?

“ i found out santa wasn’t real because my dad was horrible at hiding his santa costume. and easter bunny was because i woke up early one day and i saw my mom making little bunny footprints on the floor. “

14. what is their hogwarts house?

“ i always thought i was a gryffindor, but when i took the pottermore test years ago... i got slytherin. i guess i’m a cunning folk just like merlin. “

15. what tarot card are they?

“ i got the sun card !! “

16. are they more of a marvel or dc fan?

“ i enjoy both, but i lean more towards marvel. i like the comedy route they take on the movies. and the series are better, that’s all. “

17. who is their favorite superhero?

“ jessica jones aka jewel. i relate to her in ‘ being a messy adult ’ department. “

18. everyone has a song that deeply reminds them of their childhood. what is theirs?

“ crazy by aerosmith. it used to be one of my dad’s favorite songs. maybe it still is, who knows ?? but yeah... he used to sing that to my mom and dance around the kitchen with her. it was... nice. “

19. what are the meanings of their first, middle, and last name?

“ amelia means defender and striving, carolina means song of happiness. and after a quick research, miller means one who grinds grain. “

20. have they ever stolen a street sign before?

“ no, but that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. it would be a good decor for my bedroom, hm. “

21. what is their biggest pet peeve?

“ people chewing with their mouth open and slow walkers. i can’t choose between these two, both drive me crazy. “

22. if they were a month, what month would they be?

“ is it weird if i say march because it is always a good month for me ?? like, every year march is so great for some weird reason. anyway, march. that’s my choice. “

23. what is their least favourite movie?

“ oh, twilight without a doubt. i never understood the hype about it and because of it, fifty shades was created. “

24. what five movies would they bring with them if they were stuck on a deserted island?

“ ferris bueller’s day off, can’t hardly wait, drive me crazy, enchated and ocean’s 8 so i can finally watch it. “

25. out of all of the late night talk show hosts, who is their favorite?

“ james corden !! i love his skits and overall games. and let’s not forget carpool karaoke is one of the best things to watch when you are bored. “

26. what are three things they are afraid of?

“ being forgotten, being abandoned and snakes. literal and not literal snakes. “

27. what was the first concert they went to?

“ bon jovi when he played on central park summerstage. i remember my mom going crazy because she is obsessed with him. it was a great afternoon. “

28. is there a nickname that only their family calls them?

“ they call me millie. “

29. what side of the bed do they sleep on?

“ left. “

30. what is their favorite comfort food?

“ hershey’s chocolate bar. at least once a month, i go to the store in times square to get one for free. “

31. what award shows do they watch?

“ all of them. i love award season, but i will love it more when amy addams finally get the oscar that she deserves. “

32. do they have any weird body skills (example: being double jointed)?

“ yes !! i can wiggle both of my ears. “

33. if they drink coffee, what is their coffee order?

“ i don’t drink coffee. when i need caffeine i go to black tea mixed with green tea. “

34. what social media platforms do they have?

“ twitter, instagram, snapchat and pinterest. oh, facebook as well so my family knows i’m alive but i barely use it. “

35. are they a cat or dog person?

“ both ?? how can i choose between these precious animals ?? answer: i can’t. and won’t. “

36. if they were a supernatural creature, what would they be?

“ i think i answered this before, but if not, i would love to be a valkyrie. they are a bunch of badass women. “

37. what show are they currently watching on netflix/hulu?

“ queer eye and champions !! both are great and i highkey recommend everyone to watch them. “

38. what is their favorite disney movie?

“ disney is beauty and the beast. disney pixar is a bug’s life, i love a good classic. live action disney is obviously maleficent. fun fact: i saved money to buy the same lipstick angelina used in that movie.“

39. do they wear any perfume or cologne?

“ i wear perfume when i have to work in an event or something fancy like that. but other than that, i use victoria secret’s hydrating body lotion. “

40. what genres of music do they listen to?

“ broadway, pop and rock. “

41. have they ever seen the bee movie?

“ i have the dvd. i think that is enough answer to this question. “

42. what are their favorite memes?

“ to be honest, any reaction gif that ever existed. but the gif of jonathan from queer eye saying ‘can you believe?’ is one of my favorites at the moment. “

43. what celebrities do they share a birthday with?

“ mila kunis and halle berry !! hey yo !! “

44. what is their moon (zodiac) sign?

“ my moon sign is sagittarius. if you want to know the others, i have my whole chart on my phone thanks to my sister... but don’t ask me what it means, i have no idea. “

45. which of the seven cardinal sins do they embody the most?

“ i would say greed. “

46. do they watch sports on television? if so what ones?

“ i only watch sports on television when i need something to make me sleep. “

47. what do they put on their typical sandwich?

“ bread, cheese, steak and bacon. “

48. what was the name of their first significant other?

“ colin. he was a ridiculous piece of shit and i hope he is happy and stay far away from me. “

49. do they care if people think badly of them?

“ not really. point is, haters gonna hate. shake it off, taylor swift. always right. “

50. what was the last thing that made them cry?

“ i always cry when i listen to champagne supernova by oasis, so i will say that was the last thing that made me cry because i can’t really remember the last time i cried. “

51. are they an iphone or samsung user?

“ iphone. “

52. what type of computer do they use (example: apple)?

“ lenovo thinkpad e475. “

53. what is one of their nervous habits?

“ nail biting, tapping my foot, and talking really fast. my mom says i touch my hair a lot when i’m nervous, too.“

54. out of all reality shows, which one would they have a chance winning?

“ i’m pretty sure i could win big brother. 98% certain of it. “

55. would they ever go bungee jumping or skydiving?

“ without a doubt, someone please take me. “

56. what do they call their grandparents?

“ grandma and grandpa. “

57. what do they do when they can’t sleep?

“ watch any sport on tv, and if there’s none, cartoons. “

58. what time do they normally go to bed?

“ back home, between 10:30 PM and 11 PM on weekdays and 3 AM on weekends. “

59. if they have instagram, what was the last picture that they posted?

“ it was one of me holding a sword toy in the forest, trying to be a badass like wonder woman. but failing miserably. “ (x)

60. if they have twittter, what was the last thing that they tweeted?

“ i was trying to say “c’est la vie” but i forgot the phrase and so long story short i shrugged and said “livin la vida loca”. “

61. who is their otp?

“ emily blunt and john krasinski !! i only believe in real love because of them !! “

62. do they like sweet, salty, or sour?

“ sweet and sour. “

63. did they play any sports in the past?

“ swimming and water polo. “

64. what is their favorite cheesy pick up line?

“ you look so familiar... didn't we take a class together? i could've sworn we had chemistry. “

65. what tv show or movie is their guilty pleasure?

“ gravity falls and the lego movie. “

66. if they were a fruit, what fruit would they be?

“ green grapes. “

67. do they sing in the shower?

“ sing would be an understatement. i give a whole madison sqaure garden performance in the shower. “

68. what is their favorite type of chips?

“ doritos. always and forever you will be on my heart. “

69. do they drink juice? if so, what is their favorite kind?

“ lemonade !! and orange juice mixed with strawberry juice. trust me, that shit is good. “

70. what is more important to them: power, money, friends, family, love, or fame?

“ family and friends, always. “

71. what does their handwriting look like?

“ my handwriting is legible, that’s what i can say about it?? oh, i write in cursive. i don’t know how to answer this. “

72. do they have reoccurring dreams? if not, what is their most memorable dream?

“ i have a dream that everyone is ignoring me. i searched what it meant when it first happened, and it turns out i need to communicate more about my feelings. that’s funny. “

73. if they were a taste, what would it be?

“ minty gum. you can’t go wrong with mint gum, unless you are allergic to it. “

74. what is one random fun fact about them?

“ i do volunteer work by delivering food, coats, blankets to homeless people every night that i can for a city program. i have been doing this for a year now, and it is so gratifying being able to help them. i wish sometimes i could do more. “

75. what is their lucky number?

“ seventeen !! “

76. do they have any pets?

“ unfortunately, no. money is tight already and with a pet would be worse. maybe in the future i will adopt one. “

77. do they believe in the paranormal or the supernatural?

“ hell fucking yes to the paranormal. not so much to the supernatural, but i wish it was true. “

78. have they ever had any paranormal experiences?

“ no, but i have heard a lot of them to believe that paranormal exists. “

79. can they sing or dance?

“ i can carry a tune, but i’m no whitney houston. and my dance moves consists in high school musical choreography. “

80. who is the first person they call/text when something exciting happens?

“ my lil sister rachel, theo, and my groupchat with addie and lola.”

81. what is their social media handle?

“ @ameliamill on twitter, @amclias on instagram and @amyazing on snapchat !! “

82. what swear word do they use/like the most?

“ fuck. “

83. what is their ideal first date?

“ i really like outdoor dates, a picnic or a theme park would be fun. outdoor movie or concert, a food festival or a street fair. even getting ice cream and go for a walk instead of sitting on the parlor would be a great first date. “

84. if they were a type of weather, what would they be?

“ the weather after a rainstorm, when the sun is timidly shining again behind the clouds and there’s that smell of fresh rain that makes you feel clean. “

85. what is their least favorite holiday?

“ thanksgiving. the bad memories are real with this one. “

86. what is the first thing that they do in the morning?

“ turn off my alarm and proceed to wake rachel up so she can get ready for school. when i’m here, jump in theo’s bed to wake him up.“

87. who is their ultimate celebrity crush?

“ my love, my life, my heart: chris evans. “

88. do they usually pay with cash or card?

“ cash. “

89. what was the last thing that they bought?

“ alcohol, more specifically whiskey and vodka. “

90. are they a good or bad driver?

“ i like to believe i’m a good driver, i never hit anyone’s car... so. “

91. if they could meet one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

“ michael jackson, come on. who wouldn’t want to meet the king of pop ?? “

92. have they ever gotten into a physical fight?

“ once in high school. some girl was talking shit about my friend and the instinct to slap her across the face was stronger than the common sense of not doing so. got detention for a week and a super mad mom afterwards. oh well, it was worth it. “

93. do they prefer pepsi or coke?

“ we love and support coke in this house. pepsi is not welcome. “

94. do they prefer the city or the suburbs?

“ city, without a doubt. “

95. do they have any special or odd talents?

“ just the wiggling ears thing, like i said before. “

96. when they were little, what did they want to be when they grew up?

“ i wanted to be an astronaut and then i found out how much math it required to become one. it broke little amy’s heart. “

97. do they have any favorite smells?

“ the smell after it rains, lemon, and homemade food. “

98. if they could visit any place in the world, where would they go?

“ in ibiza za za za, everyday is a fiesta sta sta sta. “

99. do they wear jewelry?

“ yes, a necklace with a rose pendant that my grandma gave me. i haven’t taken it off since she gave me. and also earings. “

100. who is the last person they talked to on the phone?

“ rachel, turns out the lil sis is missing me more than she thought she would. “

101. do they prefer ‘would you rather’ or ‘truth or dare’?

“ would you rather. “

102. what has been their favorite halloween costume yet?

“ cher from clueless with the iconic yellow outfit !! as if there would be a better halloween costume than being the funniest rich girl. “

103. do they like horror movies?

“ yeah, but i don’t like to watch them alone. “

104. what is their typical breakfast like?

“ soft scrambled eggs and tea. “

105. are they a netflix or hulu person?

“ netflix all the way !! their original content is great as fuck. “

106. do they like to gossip?

“ oh yeah, definitely. but only with close friends. “

107. if they were a song, what one would they be?

“ who do you think you are by spice girls. “

108. what was their best subject in school?

“ weirdly enough, it was spanish. followed by history and english. “

109. what was their worst subject in school?

“ physics. that shit was my fucking nightmare. why sir isaac newton had to discover gravity ?? tell me why ?? “

110. have they ever met anyone famous?

“ yes, a lot. the latest one was chris evans because he was on broadway with ‘lobby hero’. i was trembling the whole time he was talking to me. his eyes are so blue and dreamy. “

111. who was their childhood hero?

“ the totally spies !! no doubt, no doubt. “

112. were any tv shows or movies that they weren’t allowed to watch as a child?

“ my mom would let me watch things that were on my age range. if i wanted to watch something more ‘adult-y’, she would watch it first and then say if i could watch it or not. “

113. what is the strangest thing they have ever eaten?

“ according to my grandma, i ate a beetle when i was 2 year old. so it would be that. “

114. do they prefer friends or family?

“ i can’t choose, both have important roles in my life. “

115. how do they feel about pineapple on pizza?

“ i’m not a fan of it, but i don’t think is the weirdest topping you could put on your pizza like some people make it out to be. “

116. do they put the milk or cereal in the bowl first?

“ cereal in the bowl first. that way you know how much milk you have to put. duh. “

117. how do they think dogs would wear pants?

“ the second one. i don’t think any dog would be able to move wearing pants like in the first picture. “

118. do they believe in luck or fate?

“ fucking yes. life would be boring if you don’t believe in some things. but i believe more in luck than fate, though. “

119. do they use emojis when they text?

“ yes !! my three top most used emojis are the middle finger, eye roll, and the eyes emoji. “

120. who was their favorite character on friends?

“ all of them but ross. ross can rot in hell for making rachel get out of that plane. “

121. what character on friends are they most like?

“ i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable and the only response to a romantic i love you is ‘oh crap’. couldn’t i BE anymore like chandler ?? “

122. would they rather read the books or watch the movies?

“ watch the movies. “

123. what is their favorite time of day?

“ night, when i can finally lay in bed and relax. “

124. did they watch the teletubbies as a child? if so, who was their favorite?

“ if someone watched teletubbies and their favorite wasn’t po, they are fake. “

125. do they check the rating (like a rotten tomatoes rating) of a movie before they go and see one?

“ not really, no. i just watch it and then complain on twitter if it is bad. “

126. do they have any favorite old hollywood movie stars?

“ judy garland, julie andrews and audrey hepburn !! “

127. if they had to live in any other decade, which would they choose?

“ the 80′s, without a doubt. “

128. if they could only listen to five music albums for the rest of their life, which ones would they choose?

“ abba gold: greatest hits, michael jackson: greatest hits, spiceworld by spice girls, backstreet boys: the hits, high school musical 2 soundtrack. “

129. do they believe in heaven/hell or reincarnation?

“ like i said before, not believing in things makes life boring. so yes, i do believe in hell, heaven and reincarnation. “

130. do they like chewing gum?

“ yes, minty gum is great. “

131. do they like to go see musicals or plays?

“ hell yes !! it is one of my favorite things to do. “

132. were they apart of any clubs or teams in high school or college?

“ i was part of the swimming and water polo team in high school. “

133. what was their high school superlative?

“ most likely to brighten someone’s day. “

134. are they good at cooking or baking?

“ i have to be, or my sister and i would be eating take out every night. “

135. could they beat bobby flay?

“ hell no. “

136. do they watch actual television? if so, what channels do they watch?

“ mtv. and your occasional sports channel when i need to sleep. “

137. have they ever seen rupaul’s drag race?

“ yas gawd, werk it mama. “

138. do they prefer pink or yellow lemonade?

“ pink lemonade. everything that is pink, is better. i don’t make the rules, it just is. “

139. could they lip sync for their life?

“ i like to believe that the only lip sync for the life i would have to be in is the one in the final. and that it would be a song that is comedic like anaconda by nicki minaj so i can pull a ben de la creme on it. in these terms, i could definitely lip sync for my life. “

140. is their room messy or clean?

“ an organized mess, thank you very much. “

141. if they were a body part, which one would they be?

“ the brain, it controls every other body part. “

142. if they were an emotion, what would they be?

“ happiness. “

143. if they were a planet, which one would they be?

“ neptune, i don’t know why. “

144. how would they describe their clothing style?

“ eleanor shellstrop look alike. “

145. do they shower in the morning or at night?

“ at night, so my body can relax after a long day. “

146. do they order regular fries, onion rings, sweet potato fries, or tater tots?

“ regular fries. so i can eat them with a sundae. “

147. do they normally wear socks?

“ yes, socks are comfy. “

148. do they fear natural disasters?

“ of course. is there anyone who doesn’t fear natural disasters ?? ”

149. can they ice/roller skate?

“ no way. i always fall on my ass, but hey, that never stopped me from getting up again. “

150. are they good at video games?

“ i’m horrible at video games. the last game i played was mario kart. years ago. “

#stillwater:task3 #⌜ ✽ °˖ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʟʟꜱ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ╾ MUSINGS.⌟

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whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years ago

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Monday 25 June 1838

11 ½

fair but rain threatening morning F68 ½° at 5 40 am off from Tours at 6 ½ - at 6 ¾ cross the Cher good stone bridge good river – Montbazon 1 street poor little town – nothing there like an Inn – Sorigny a farm house and 1 or 2 little cottages – from there to Ste. Maure hilly, fine country – stopt à la poste at 9 12 – no Inn – I had been asleep or should have seen this – the horses put to again, and drove to the other end of the Faubourg to the cheval Blanc (at 9 20) a neat looking small hotel or auberge where we found ourselves très bien – Marshal Soult and his wife here 3 weeks last Xmas he taken ill in the night, erysipelas in his face – he had sent them a great many people – the woman of the house talkathon and civil – her husband faisait le cousiner when it was worthwhile (for the marshal, and would for us if we staid there) he learnt at Tours and was renormé for his cooking – we had excellent café and milk and butter just made very good – not quite ready when we arrived – off again at 10 ¾ - the town of St. Maure and its goodish looking church at a little distance behind our cheval blanc – at 11 ½ cross good stone bridge over the Creuse, and enter the Department of the Vienne (river) and the nice village of Port-de-Piles – fine open country, corn and grass – aux Ormes at 11 ¾ - neat good little village, the toll-box dropt off as we stopt à la poste, and getting the strap-holders sewed on again delayed us 35 minutes – off again at 12 ¾ - pretty river Vivienne close right – fine broad wooded (chiefly rye) corn and grass valley – vines on the hill side (right) – Sandy land all hereabouts – not naturally fertile – during this stage (right) observed 2 or 3 little white flags or poles as if for railroad – oats and barley short and thin – handsome stone bridge over the Vivienne at Châtellerault , and just after passing the bridge (and the 2 old round towers at the end of it) stop at the Poste which is also the hotel du Grand Monarque at 1 ¾ - one of the main-bolts of the off back spring (fixed to the bed of the under carriage) broken – what with the torment of blacksmiths to mend this and women up against the carriage windows with cutlery, one had enough to do more especially as it rained (just began to rain) pretty smartly – went into the hotel – desired the mistress to send for the man she herself employed on these occasions and in about ¼ hour had agreed with him to do the job for 12/. + 1/. pour boire for the workmen – to be done in 1 ½ hour – went afterwards twice to see that all was going on right – it was good 2 ½ hours before the job was done and then the men begged so hard gave dix sols over of pour boire – very heavy rain almost all the time – at lease from 1 ¾ to 4 ½ it rained almost incessantly – from 2 35 to 3 ¼ inked over my travelling accounts from Friday (22nd instant) up to now – then half asleep on the sofa – then at 4 went (2nd time)

SH:7/ML/E/21/0129

to look after the carriage then at a plate of (large – white) strawberries A- having had hers before – off again at 4 ¾ - Châtelleraut seems a good town – much improved – much new building since 1830 – would not be teased into buying any cutlery, but it looks better finished and of a higher order of make than it was in 1830 – nice looking small penknives and scissors – really looking like English – en sortant enter forest which continues far towards La Tricherie, nice, neat, good little village – fine country all today – walnut trees in good bearing along the road side, and now from la Tricherie are fine, large, healthy, handsomely formed trees, like forest trees – along the road and at a little distance park-like – the great quantity of poplars (Italian and others) pruned to the very top, a striking [feature] ever since Paris – indeed all over France? no sight of the Vivienne since Châtelleraut except perhaps one peep – very fine country – Clan one long row of good village houses – the poste at the far end, a little distance from the other houses, good looking largeish house – Left, en sortat, the Clain, nice little river – a few drops of rain since leaving Châtelleraut – vines on the hill sides – at 7 the Vivienne and its tall Italian poplars (close left) forming a high hedge, and (right) high, hoary, calcareous picturesque rock interspersed with gardens and fine walnut trees – very picturesque approach to Poitiers on the hill just above us – at 7 10 pass the iron grille barrier gate into the city, and pass thro’ old, ill built, ill paved (with little boulder strong very slippery the horses could scarcely stand) steep, narrow streets – steep ascent to the hotel de France (at the top of the hill, near the grand Place) at 7 20 – off to the cathedral with a boy guide in 10 minutes and there along narrow streets on the descent, in ¼ hour at 7 ¾ -

Cathedral founded by Henry 2 of England in the 11th century –

the only one I ever saw of the kind – the 2 side aisles (only 2) very nearly as high as the nave – short church – and short transepts – the oval iron railed choir extends ¾ breadth of transepts into the nave having the transepts on each side of it – and the pulpit is against the great transept –nave column (south side) – 4 large arcades of nave – then the large arcade between the transepts, then 3 more large arcades of which the 2 next the transepts and ¾ of the arcade between the transepts form the choir – adossé to the 3rd large arcade (at the back of the choir) the apse is very small (little more than as it were a swelling out) that contains the virgins chapel – only 2 side aisles, and no side chapels – the great altar is near the entrance into the choir – and there is an altar at the end of each transept – Organ in the west end, in dark oak tribune taking up the whole of one arcade of nave and aisles – Exterior of the cathedral plain, except west end the 3 doorways much carved as at Rheims – 7 steps down to platform 6 or 8 yards broad up to the church door then 5 steps down from the door (west end) into the church – very ancient – painted windows in the transepts and round the east end – large marigold window over the richly carved centre doorway (west end) and open round-gothic-arched galling around the top between the 2 plain gothic towers – ¼ hour there – then to the church of Ste. Radegone femme de Clotaire, and descended by 18 steps down from the nave and 6 steps up from the nave to the choir so that the chapel is loftyish for a souterraine to her tomb below the choir in a small very ancient looking chapel 2 candles burning over the tomb of old, dark, porphyry? polished lying like a plain 3 sided coffin (sharp edge upper most) on the tomb – they tried to break this in la grande revolution but could not and one of the men dined in the chapel (said the young man (sacristan) who seeing us enter the church had come after us – he then shewed us the chapel of the ‘pied de dieu’ – our saviour appearing to St. Radegonde foretelling her death and that she should be a pearl in his crown left the print of his on the stone which stone is encadrée and has a wire guard in the made form of a shoe or little basket put (locked) over it – the footmark is deepish cut – whether the man really believed or not, I know not he looked as if he did and thought I did too – the church of Ste. Radegonde is evidently very ancient and the ground has risen much about it, as at the cathedral – from Ste. R- to the r. de Arènes to the house that has written over it ‘Aux Anitiquités Romaines’ I remembered the place – went into courtyard – and thro’ the stables into the ground and remain of the old Roman amphitheatre – the garden within very nice – all much done-up and cleared out and improved since 1830 – all about is now tidy – just peeped at the fine promenade – handsome public baths and other new buildings thereabouts just out of the grille gate barrier – too dark to see very clearly but A- bore the walk exceedingly well – she was interested – voilà tout – home at 9 – dinner at 9 ¼ - came to my room at 10 ½ - fine day till the heavy rain between 2 and 3 pm afterwards fine afternoon and evening – F67 ½° at 11 5 pm

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stellacarrierimaginationbuilders · 3 years ago

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Controversial Cupid/Celestial Spirit Guide Friendship Specialist Series Part One Creative Fiction Genre

intent I Stella Carrier channel creating heaven on earth happiness unity and faith/hope with my fun writing therapy of creative fiction writing

Start Time: Friday June 18 2021 837pm

Completion Time Friday June 18 2021 1018pm

Greetings My Name is Seavin and I currently reside in two celestial replica locations of Norfolk Virginia and Virginia Beach though I am also in the process of building homes in celestial replica locations of Iceland and Switzerland for reasons I must keep secret, one reason relating to a late musician who transitioned to the afterlife over 40 months ago is helping me with some creative writing ideas agreed to be one of my muses on the condition that I keep secret their identity for at least 3 years in current earth time. What I Seavin am allowed to say is among the following communications

I Seavin passed over into the celestial realms over 70 months ago and during my most recent earth lifetime I lived the most recent 50 years of my remaining earth life in Virginia and I visited multiple parts of Western Europe. My current identity label of Seavin is an alias to protect and keep secret the identities of my professional and personal allies, family members and friends still residing on earth who I got along with and was close to. However, what I Seavin am allowed to say is that I did live to be 97 years old in my most recent current earth lifetime I peacefully passed away in my sleep. I Seavin have been told that I resemble the lead singer in the music video for Your Love by Outfield. I specialize in being what is considered a “controversial cupid’ celestial spirit guide helper in training in addition to a celestial spirit guide helper helping men and women of various walks of life ages 41 and older from various walks of life also become eligible ready to manifest their most ideal friendships and enhance their writing goals.

First things first, I Seavin admit that I was fortunately married to my wife for over 73 years when I passed away and she passed away just 23 hours ago at the age of 101 and I must keep this communications short because I am preparing to meet her and show her around within 50 hours andor sooner of this message Anyhow my wife and I did not have kids however by the time we were in our 60s we did make many friends who did have kids and both the friends and kids were pretty open minded about couples of our type Additionally, my wife and I did have a polyamorous type of marriage however we were discreet about it for a multitude of reasons even though it has become more popular for well liked, well loved andor very rich celebrities to come out with this news my wife and I had reasons for keeping this secret even as some of her former friends, and people she knew in her professional and personal life were gossiping about my wife and I staying married even after some of the women I had told some of my wives friends that they had secret affairs with me, one woman even tried to show my wife the times her and i called each other and my wife looked at her and politely asked her what is it to her and then the same woman tried to show my wife a photo of her baby who looked like me and the woman finally quit flaunting our secret meetups to my wife when my wife bluntly told her if you are looking for more monthly money for your son then take it up with my husband not me. Naturally my wife did confront me after this more for telling me that I could have at least told her sooner about the son so that she could have also worked more hours at her places of employment to help me with child support money. I agreed though when I politely explained that the only reason why I concealed the affair from her was because I unexpectedly met her through one of her military bosses she had in her 40s then my wife let it go for reasons I would prefer to avoid getting into. What does what I have to say do with even readers who prefer traditional the opposite of unconventional partnerships.

Within 40-60 years or sooner of this message law of attraction mystical books are going to be published by pen name andor anonymous authors some geared to married men, others geared to married women some geared to both on how to manifest secret lovers where there would be a mutual attraction and many of them are going to become more popular because they are effective and work really well, some of the most best selling of those books become best sellers because they also help both married and readers of other relationship orientations with their money goals, career goals, ideal body goals intuition enhancement goals other type of goals etc. I Seavin have to be discreet on a great deal of the content that is going to be in even some of the best selling books that also help both the married readers and readers of other relationship andor bachelor andor bachelorette statuses to also become more prosperous thinner more intuitive more creative resilient etc. because the content is currently ahead of its time due to the current mainstream public judgement on couples who are in polyamory andor open marriages. However I Seavin am allowed to share that one of the ideas in some of the best selling books is going to be the following

You can have an enduring marriage lasting loving marriage with your spouse and an enduring mutual attraction connection with your lover of choice however there is a timeframe to consider following to manifest a lover who has similar personality andor physical appearance qualities of your preferred lover if you are outside of their type, i.e. you are older andor of a different physical appearance of their type

Why a married person must work on her career goals, money goals, other type of goals regardless if they have they secretly have their heart set on a particular person andor someone who has similar personality qualities andor physical appearance characteristics of who they secretly admire

Karma that must considered and new ways of more easily tuning into one’s intuition if a married person gets close to manifesting a lover similar in qualities to their secret muse and then unexpectedly andor surprisingly receives communication from either the muse who inspired the manifestation of a similar lover andor someone from the past that the married person secretly had an attraction towards though who was far from aware that said person was secretly mutually attracted to them

Additionally I Seavin am helping a female who was recently visited by someone who liked them as a lover that the female only liked as a platonic friend and she secretly wished the best for this particular man to become more prosperous in his career and money life because he helped remind her that she needed to continue to pay attention to her career and money goals too she was especially reminded of this when he was going to try to ask her for more money though fortunately she found a way to change the subject before he was going to, however the caveat is that she was becoming more successful in recovering getting over an unrequited crush from the past however her being recently visited by the male that she only liked as a platonic friend triggered suppressed buried feelings that she thought she had resolved about the former crush she was secretly in love with around the time the male who she only likes as a platonic friend originally reached out to her she reached out to me for help in recovering from this and acknowledging that I am the one who helped inspire her the idea of manifesting a lover similar in qualities to the muse she secretly had a passionate attraction towards however I also had to tough love her and explain why that meeting was meant to gently trigger the reminder in her to keep an increased focus on her money and career goals even as she cultivates other goals

I Seavin am also receiving telepathic messages from 50 career money love intuition and writing celestial spirit guides why the following themes must be kept in mind regardless if a person is just trying to enhance their psychic andor intuition powers or wisely manifest controversial love life goals that would attract serious public judgement until polyamory is more publicly accepted by the year 2100

I Seavin have been gently encouraged to put the idea in over 700 of the men and women I am helping to try to eventually find a place of spiritual nourishment to go to weekly regardless if it is a meditation center or new age type of church even if said person thinks they may be too secretly wild andor free spirited for such an establishment

I Seavin have been told to remind a multiple number of men and women I am helping as a celestial spirit guide to encourage them to eventually find a place of their choosing to volunteer at at least once weekly andor at least twice monthly minimum when ideal

for the additional boosting of happiness try to take some consistent time with reading a preferred book and meditation at least 2 to 3 times a week even if the meditation involves a 30 minute music playlist at least 3 times a week

I Seavin have been inspiring some of the people I am helping to keep small notebooks to keep track of how they are utilizing their money to also help remind them of their money goals including money savings and I Seavin have been the muse for 5 of my female clients to utilize a small notebook to track their eating and fitness activity andor a listing of their top 6 andor 7 priorities for the day

automatic writing sessions at least twice a week andor twice a month for at least 15 minutes where the imagining of communication taking place between the writer and their celestial spirit guides guardian angels andor higher selves residing in certain celestial realms, their departed loved ones either from their current earth lifetime andor previous lifetimes andor their choice as long as it is done away from the judging eyes of others either in an offline notebook journal andor secret online email account

for instance, a writer can have an automatic 15 minute writing session in their chosen offline notebook andor secret email account on how they would imagine their higher self andor celestial spirit guides to describe the celestial worlds andor activities they partake in during the day, what one andor more of their celestial spirit guides think of them choosing a particular place to volunteer at andor read andor an online website the writer is discreetly looking at to enhance their writing creativity andor enhance their intuition andor fitness andor bodyweight goals etc. andor a writer might also imagine what one andor more of their celestial spirit guides might say about why a particular website is being advertised to them even if it had been years since they had last lived in that country even though they have happy memories there from meeting their spouse there, for instance a writer might inquire for reasons pertaining to curiosity from their celestial spirit guides why a particular Japan themed website is being advertised to them one of their celestial spirit guides communicates lovingly that they have been gently trying to get the writer to make at least a little time in their schedule to watch some anime both to enhance their writing ideas and also for reasons that the writer is going to more easily understand 20 to 30 years andor months from now andor sooner.

I Seavin am tempted to communicate more however I Seavin must conclude this communication for now because one of my wife’s spirit guides is coming to me with a warm loving smile to let me know that my wife is waiting with happy love and anticipation in a celestial library nearby

Resources

5 ideas

https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/marvel-celestial-names.php

Japan Snacks website that I unexpectedly saw advertised via youtube

https://www.bokksu.com/pages/about-page

Diet Fitness Goals Pink Tutu Tarot January 24, 2021

youtube vides of

Strengthen Your Intuition Carrie Konyha

10 Signs To Know if Your Intuition is Trying to Tell You Something Slightly Better Channel

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the-lichemaster · 6 years ago

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all the even numbers

Ok then.

2. Outgoing or ShyShy. I making hate eye contact so much I’m eligible for disability benefits.

4. Are you easy to get along with?I think so, as long as your willing to do all the heavy lifting in the conversation department

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Aggressive brunette women. Or more generally, I like people who have nerdy and weird interests but who aren’t annoying about it and aren’t squares.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Judge Judy

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A homeless guy I met while waiting for the pharmacy to fill my order (he was waiting too). I forget his name, but we talked about waste in capitalism and what our ideal societies would be.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Answered this one earlier

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

No.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No. I imagine she has forgotten all about me.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t talk to them, but they seem fine.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Answered this one already

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Getting drunk

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Curse the day I was born, check email and news on my phone

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I guess my mum, but really it’s a 7 billion way tie with everyone on earth making me uncomfortable

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Maybe, although I think if I did it would just to make someone else happy.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

No. I used to be really into basketball as a kid.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Oh yeah. Never told any of my crushes really.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Funny, patient, pushes me out of my comfort zone, like horror movies and metal music (or at least is tolerant of them), dark hair, fangs, horns, bat wings

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I graduated from high school over a decade ago. I wanted to go into Graphic Design, but that didn’t work out (turns out I hated sitting in front of computer all day).

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I have nothing to say. I am comfortable in silence.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Ocean. No critters to look at in space.

46. What are you paranoid about?

People secretly not liking me. Getting locked out of my apartment (When leaving I’ll check my pockets for my keys like six times).

48. Have you ever been drunk?

I’m drunk right now

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Pretty much everything except my taste in things. Also bigger dick, obviously.

54. Favourite store?

I like used book stores, but I probably go to the liquor store the most.

56. Favourite colour?

Purple

58. Last thing you ate?

KFC

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Not that I can recall, no.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope. Too sneaky.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was in I THINK 6th grade (maybe 7th). Our class was out camping by a lake (the school I went to would send the 5th, 6th, and 7th grades out to a camp for the last week of school). Her name was Laura, and I don’t really remember the context (it might have just been her goofing around). All I remember is it what by an archery range.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Don’t have any real friends, so you guys win by default I guess

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

I prefer Tumblr but I do have a Twitter, which I mostly use for more political stuff (@jeremyehm if you’re curious). I find Twitter to be really toxic, everyone’s always arguing with each other and being assholes. Plus it’s just an endless cavalcade of bad news.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Carling Black Label Supreme and Crown Royal

72. What colour are your towels?

Dark grey. This allows spiders to hide in them easily when they are hanging.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Zero.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Blue. The pattern is of a polar bear drinking bear.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Strawberry

80. What colour pants?

Dark blue

82. Favourite movie?

Alien

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Haven’t seen Mean Girls, so 21 Jump Street I guess.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

The barracuda who eats Nemo’s mom at the beginning. I don’t watch Pixar movies, I think FInding Nemo was actually the last one I saw.

88. Last person you talked to today?

The cashier at KFC

90. Name a person you love?

My mum and dad, I guess

92. In a fight with someone?

No, and if I got into one I would lose (unless my opponent was like a baby or on crutches or something).

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

One hoody that I never wear. Should probably give it away to a homeless shelter now that I think about it.

96. Favourite actress?

Edwige Fenech, or Meiko Kaji

98. Do you tan a lot?

I’m part Irish, Danish and English, so I tend to burst into flames when in direct sunlight rather than tan.

100. How are you feeling?

Not too bad. A bit gassy.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Mostly everything, yeah.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I don’t think so. I remember towards the end of my senior year there was a girl in my grade who, in retrospect, was hitting on me/trying to hang out with me all the time. I was totally clueless and left her hanging, but I imagine I’m easy to get over.

108. What should you be doing?

Fuck off, it’s my birthday. I’ll do it tomorrow

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Not really no. Crushes are always a little uncomfortable, but since it’s impossible for someone to like me back I can usually just push it to the back of my mind.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Therapist

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

I’ve been down to Seattle and Los Angeles before. Never been to another province of Canada though!

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes (listening to the Misfits). Unless I’m watching a movie or sleeping I’m listening to music.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Love it

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No.

126. Are you currently bored?

A little

128. Would you change your name?

I think I like my current name fine. Unusual without being weird.

130. Do you like subway?

The sandwich chain? No, it sucks ass.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Hey this is a duplicate question. Nice job, whoever originally posted this.

134. Can you count to one million?

Yes. I won’t though.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed.

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight, but I don’t really care.

140. Summer or Winter?

They kinda suck equally, but I guess there isn’t any snow in Summer, so I’ll go with that.

142. Favourite month?

I’m going to say April or May. Warm and breezy.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk, although I don’t really like sweets.

146. Was today a good day?

It was pretty good, went to the dispensary, bought a pipe that’s shaped like a wizard.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Like this statement from the IRA following a botched assassination attempt on Margaret Thatcher and her cabinet: “Today we were unlucky, but remember we only have to be lucky once. You will have to be lucky always”

I also like a quote from a Maoist responding to Kruschev’s comment that while he was the son of a peasant while the Maoist was from the aristocracy: “We have something in common: we are both traitors to our class.”

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

From “The Best Short Stories of J.G. Ballard”: “I’m beginning to realize it was a mistake to put them in there-all those lights blazing down, the huge floors, high walls.”

Whew, that took awhile. Thanks for asking.

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contextualstudieslorena · 4 years ago

Text

Group presentation on the film Welfare by Frederick Wiseman

Info about the film: Welfare (1975)

by Frederick Wiseman

In his documentary “Welfare”(1975) Frederick Wiseman captures the activity and atmosphere in a Welfare center in 1970’s New york. His point of view is as unbiased as possible, showing on one side the claimers and on the other the social workers and welfare employees. In his own words, “All aspects of documentary filmmaking involve choice and are therefore manipulative. But the ethical ... aspect of it is that you have to ... try to make [a film that] is true to the spirit of your sense of what was going on. ... My view is that these films are biased, prejudiced, condensed, compressed but fair. I think what I do is make movies that are not accurate in any objective sense, but accurate in the sense that I think they're a fair account of the experience I've had in making the movie.” (potnitz, Frank (May 1991). "Dialogue on film". American Film. 16 (5): 16–21.)

Wiseman’s documentary is structured very loosely, he simply set up his camera and films for days on end, focusing on scenes like the plaidants in interviews with the social workers, or the workers discussing amongst themselves, and occasionally shows clips of the people in the waiting room, the janitor. Whether he had done previous research before is unknown, but one of his goals across his different documentaries is documenting the workings of American institutions and the people who are involved in them.

The documentary shows clearly how varied the cases that are brought up to welfare can be, and the different people who enter the center desperately seeking help. Many of the benefit seekers are european immigrants, young single mothers, men and women of colour and marginalised communities.

The documentary also shows the conflict between the simple act of charity, providing a person money for shelter, food and the convoluted bureaucracy they have to navigate, where even the social workers are confused and have to constantly ask each other for advice. The lack of communication between the different departments is also made apparent, several plaidant explain they have been referred back and forth between departments, in a never ending cycle, and that even when they are able to provide the paperwork they are still not guaranteed any help. Even the language barrier can be a big problem sometimes, when immigrants who speak little to no english have to plead their case and deal with the different papers and statements they are asked to bring.

This shows the stark contrast between the human tragedies and the mechanical, unyielding system, the conversations are repetitive and the claimants and workers go over the same points over and over. The whole exchanges are painful to watch, especially when we learn about the dire situation the people find themselves, their pain and frustration at the system failing them (cheques that are never received by the recipient, fair court hearings taking up time that they do not have, the imminent threat of being evicted and the basics of human rights not being met).

But Wiseman, does not only focus on the claimants but also the workers, and shows that they are just as human as the people on the other side of the desk.

He shows that many workers try their best to help but are tied by the system, or the tense exchanges between desperate, angry plaidants and the overworked social workers.

The documentary also shows the blatant racism people of colour face in 1970’s, through a scene in the wellfare where an elderly white man start insulting a black man sitting beside him, and the situation escalates until police officers have to remove him from the building.

Different important scenes:

A native american man talks about rejected by every organization he has gone too, he talk about the concentration camps his people have been put into and

the fact he has escaped.

“Everywhere i go they say “you’re Indian? Get out of here!’.”

A young man and woman, both married but separated from their spouses. The woman is epileptic and can’t work.

Their smile of relief when they are offered a room is one of the rare moments of happiness in this documentary. (it would have been interesting to see the accommodation the people are given)

A recovered drug addict who got himself work, an apartment and a dog, then lost everything but the dog, is told he can have a room in a hostel. He objects that he can't take his dog there. But the official says: "We're giving assistance to you, not your dog."

German immigrant who says he still believes that America is “a good country” , that wants to help people, but under under the circumstances he is considering suicide."I'd better look for a nice place to hang myself."

A young black woman is driven to tears, her interview lasts for hours with the conversation going back and forth about papers, authorizations and contradicting bureaucracy and rules.

Welfare social workers discussing how they can help the plaidants, and how to sort out the paperwork. It becomes clear that even the workers are confused by the numerous convoluted legislations, and the paperwork the plaidants are supposed to bring.

In the video, it can be seen that the artist wanted to focus on what the minority in the USA goes through every day, the problems that they have to face because of the environment they were raised in or brought to throughout their lives. The film is made in the 70s in New York, a city that is known for being a gigantic melting pot filled with people from different backgrounds.

The United States is a country that revolves around making money off of people instead of actually caring about them and their health and condition. That can obviously be seen in that film, when for example one of the people in it mentions that he hasn't eaten in 3 days because of the small amount of money that he has been given. He also mentions that he obviously can’t go around stealing food because that will lead him to get arrested, which just shows that those people are such in bad situations that they even consider stealing food to feed themselves and their families as they dont have another option, the government isn't providing them what they need and that is a very serious issue.

A problem that a lot of Europeans complain about in America when mentioning it is the lack of health insurance. There are many people who don't get any of their basic health needs because they just can't afford it. It gets to the point where people just deal with broken arms, legs, etc by themselves because paying for a simple appointment would be too expensive. The country has many problems when dealing with minorities and this film shows what those people go through by using a technique of recording them in a position where it seems as if they are trapped/with no way out. This also affects the person who is watching the documentary as it gives them a sensation of anxiety but also bringing a sense of naturality to it, as if the one who watches it is in their position dealing with the problems with them.

Throughout the documentary there appears to be an endless cycle of clients (from all walks of life) seeking financial help, but getting no quick resolve as they are having to explain and give proof on their situations over and over again; and to different departments. This suggests there is a lack of communication and/or understanding of the states rules and laws within the worker’s company. Evidently I am led to believe the blame for this confusion and lack of help for those financially struggling is on the USA government rather than both the parties shown in the documentary because the system is more concerned with making money FROM the people rather than making money FOR the people. Another reason I believe the workers aren’t to blame is because despite the chaos and some prejudice, they do all listen and attempt to help the clients that come to them, even if it was poorly. With more education and organisation within the company I do think many of the issues would have been resolved.

Welfare is a 3 hour long in depth look at the American welfare system. The film was shot in the Waverly Welfare Center in lower Manhattan where Wiseman documented the conversations and interactions that took place between citizens of New York and social workers (supposedly) helping them.

Wiseman’s method of filming in the majority of his films is to simply set up a camera for days on end and try to capture as much information as possible, this helped him somewhat in keeping his films unbiased but in his own words; film making involves choice and is therefore manipulative. As such films cannot be unbiased.

Wiseman’s ability is evident when we consider how he had to slough through days of film in order to make a film about bureaucracy entertaining at all times. Some conversations in this film feel so exaggerated or surreal that you can’t help but wonder if the individuals being filmed even knew there was a camera on them, but it being 1970 there is no way they couldn’t have noticed so they knew they were being filmed but either just did not care or thought they were totally justified.

At many times the social workers were portrayed as patient and helpful though we find ourselves sometimes rooting for the client even at times where they aren’t necessarily in the right out if sheer empathy for their situation in being bounced back and forth places and told different things, getting nowhere in the process.

An example of both a surreal and empathetic situation occurs around 2 hours and 40 minutes in where a man is trying desperately to get his social security check having being led to the welfare department from the social security department and is subsequently told to go back to the social security department.

He goes into explaining how he “rips off” different retailers and individuals to get by currently such as stealing chocolate bars from woolworths so he can eat or through ripping off people with car scams. Despite his questionable morality I cannot help but feel empathetic for him even through his ranting, nonsensical stories about mind control, psychic research and coincidental references to Godot.

I find it funny how a film shot in black and white portrays it’s subject matter in such a grey manner. Whilst the welfare system in America is portrayed as flawed and needing reform, wiseman shows neither the staff nor the clients as totally in the right or the wrong. There are situations where both sides are in the wrong and he seems to have balanced it out between the two.

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orbemnews · 4 years ago

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Fire chiefs raise the alarm – too few young recruits MEREDITH — Cole Boggis knew he would make his career in the fire service since he was a boy and his father was a member of the Brookline Fire Department. “I was fortunate to grow up in the fire department in my hometown. All the guys were good enough to include me, and got me interested,” Boggis said. At 14, he joined a junior firefighter program in the neighboring town of Hollis, joined Brookline when he turned 18, and came to Meredith as an intern with the Fire Technology program at Lakes Region Community College. He’s now 21 and a member of the Meredith Department, covering the station during day shifts. Over in Franklin, Mike Mussey has been a full-time member of the department for seven months. He’s 23 and said he’s known he wanted to be a firefighter since he was 14, also through a junior program. Mussey grew up in Franklin, and said it’s “fantastic” to be able to serve the people of his hometown. People like Boggis and Mussey are increasingly hard to come by, though. Fire chiefs around the region report difficulty filling their rosters. They might have once had 10, or even 20, applicants for each open position; now they have two or three, and those who are highly qualified are likely fielding multiple job offers. That’s leading some in the industry to warn that the shortage could soon become critical. “I think everybody knows it, the total amount of firefighters that we have applying statewide, everywhere, it’s much more difficult to hire firefighters now,” said Kirk Beattie, Laconia’s fire chief. “The numbers of them just aren’t out there. And if you factor in that we’re looking for paramedics as well, they are very hard to come by.” If he were fully staffed, Beattie said he would have 40 firefighters on his roster. He currently has 38, and pending retirements will soon drop that to 36. “We are in the process of trying to hire right now, but the total number of applicants is way down,” Beattie said, though he added that, so far, he has been able to land well-qualified candidates. “It would be nice to get back to the days of having 20-30 applicants, instead of 2 or 3.” Chief Michael Foss in Franklin said he has had to change his staffing levels for lack of firefighters. He would like to be able to have a crew of 5 on at all times, but now he has 3 firefighters for each 24-hour shift, with one additional crew member coming on for a 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift. Coverage drops back to 3 for the overnight hours. “We are set up well to handle one call at a time,” Foss said. However, about a quarter of their calls occur when the crew is already responding to a prior emergency, which leaves Franklin with a choice. Either try and call in already overworked firefighters on their day off, or rely on Lakes Region Mutual Fire Aid, which will rally help from a neighboring town. Meredith relies on on-call firefighters. It used to be, Meredith Chief Ken Jones said, that the town could handle most moderate incidents with their call firefighters, who work in town and could drop what they were doing to respond to an emergency. “It used to be a 45-man roster years ago,” Jones said, adding that he’s down to around 15 members who will reliably show up when their pagers tone. “We’re struggling. On any call, I don’t know who I’m going to have on that call,” he said. Depending on who shows up, he might not have people trained to attack a house fire from the interior, or operate the necessary equipment. Increasingly, Meredith has to call Mutual Fire Aid for help. “That’s how we are surviving at this time,” Jones said. Gilford uses a hybrid system, with 18 full-time firefighters and an equal number of on-call staff. Steve Carrier, Gilford chief, said his biggest problem is retaining personnel, especially on-call firefighters. “It’s a pretty demanding position to be in,” said Carrier. “You have a full-time job and a family, we’re telling you that you have to come in for training two or three times a month, if you don’t have certification we tell you to go somewhere you can get certification.” When the on-call staff drops out of rotation, Carrier said it’s usually because of the time commitment. They need to stay active in order to retain their skills, but they have to be willing to drop everything and respond when the big calls come in. “The opportunities aren’t there every day for them to be involved,” Carrier said. “I think it’s difficult for some of them to justify spending the time and training.” Deborah Pendergast said the problem has been brewing for years. She’s director of the state’s Fire Standards and Training Department, and said the drop in interest was first seen in smaller, rural departments that rely on call staff. “Now that is trickling to the full-time departments. It is regional, it is not a New Hampshire phenomenon. Overall, if you look at why is that, there are a couple of different things playing into that,” Pendergast said. One of the reasons is a public perception of the service that doesn’t accurately reflect the present reality. To begin a career in the fire service, a candidate would need to get certified as a firefighter, have at least some emergency medicine certification, and a commercial drivers license. Yet, said Pendergast, “The fire service is considered a blue-collar career, a hands-on trade.” That creates a problem. Ambitious young people who aren’t afraid of certification programs might not consider the fire service, but people who expect to be able to walk into a job might be turned off when they realize how much work it is to become a firefighter. Then there’s another perception problem, one which Pendergast confronted herself years ago. Her career started with a CPR class, which led to an EMT program, and when she was doing a ride-along on an ambulance, one of the firefighters suggested she take a firefighting course. She was about 30 at that time, and never thought of herself as a firefighter. That was decades ago, but the picture of a New Hampshire firefighter hasn’t changed too much. “New Hampshire is absolutely not where it needs to be with diversity of fire service,” Pendergast said. Women make up only about 5% of firefighters in the state, she said, a figure well below other states. “If we are only tapping the white males to be in the fire service, we are doing ourselves a disservice,” Pendergast said. She said local firehouses need to invite Girl Scouts, not just Boy Scouts, for tours. Recruiting efforts should take place at softball and field hockey tournaments, not just football games. “If we work hard to tap minorities and females, we can get people who said, ‘I never thought of myself doing that.’” The fire service can break through misconceptions by reviving junior firefighter programs, which were once prolific but have become rarer, Pendergast said, and by encouraging fire-science classes in high schools, which give young people a jump-start on basic training. Beattie, in Laconia, said it will likely take a scattershot approach “There isn’t one answer, I think there’s multiple things,” he said. He pointed to statistics that show significant decrease in active duty military service over the past 30 years – and fire service is a common second act after an honorable discharge. Foss, in Franklin, said some of the decline could be due to changes that have affected the value proposition for someone considering the career. The barrier to entry is now higher, considering the required certifications, while the payoff is farther away. Changes to the state retirement system did away with the possibility of collecting a pension as young as 45 years old. “The increase in age requirement to receive a benefit is a lot higher than it used to be,” Foss said. Jones, in addition to leading Meredith’s Fire Department, is currently serving as head of the NH Association of Fire Chiefs. He said the state recently adjusted the hours required to receive basic firefighting certification by reducing the amount of time spent on wildfire training, with a particular eye at making it easier to become a call firefighter – a frequent first step on the way to a full-time career. More will be necessary, Jones said. If his department is indicative of other call services, the forecast is troubling. Of those 12-15 call members he can rely on to respond to alarms, more than half of them are nearing retirement age. “It’s an issue that’s not going away. Municipalities are going to need to face this and decide what’s the next step,” Jones said, offering the possibility of full-time, regionalized service, though he added that would likely result in longer response times for far-flung neighborhoods. “It’s a question that’s on the horizon and will need to be answered in the near future.” Mussey, beginning his career in Franklin, said he was hooked as soon as he got a look at the career through a fire explorer program. “I found that I enjoyed everything it offered,” he said. He was attracted to the hours, the camaraderie, and the mission. “It’s got a lot to offer. You get to help people during the worst moments of their lives, you get to make connections with your co-workers that you wouldn’t make in other jobs,” Mussey said. Boggis said that it might sound cliche, but it’s true. “I like helping people. I like to be able to interact with different walks of life, and I like being able to put my touch on people’s lives.” Someone with decades in the service, Don Smith, a call firefighter with Meredith, said Mussey and Boggis will find a career doing just what they like to do. Smith said he joined the Meredith department because his father and his younger brother did. Forty-six years later, what keeps him answering the call? “I enjoy helping people,” Smith answered. “I just enjoy firefighting.” Source link Orbem News #Alarm #Chiefs #deborahpendergast #donsmith #Fire #Firefighter #kenjones #kirkbeattie #Meredith #michaelfoss #mikemussey #raise #recruits #Work #young

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scottidols · 7 years ago

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14, 15 Ur dumb

What? 1-60? Omg, thank you so much for doing this completely unprovoked!1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.I don’t have iTunes so here’s from my Spotify:Fall Out Boy - Save Rock And RollWATERS - Ones You Had BeforeOf Monsters and Men - Love Love LoveMKTO - Just Imagine ItMarianas Trench - Truth Or DareHamilton - Cabinet Battle #22) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Uuhh Jeff Probst? To get the survivor gig going3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.It dropped the quiver on the altar.4) What do you think about most?Reality TV and Love. 5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?Not really, but kind of! A good fried commissioned to have a song written about our group and my name was in it! 6) Do you have any strange phobias?I don’t like eating/drinking after people, and I absolutely fucking hate armadillos.7) What’s your religion?Christianity, Non-denominational8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Internally complaining about being outside9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?AJR10) What was the last lie you told?I don’t remember, but it’s almost definitely something D&D related 11) Do you believe in karma?Eh. Kinda? Not like... “Karma” per se, but something along the lines for sure.12) What does your URL mean?I go by Scott, and “Idols” is just because I love Survivor.13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Laziness; Luck?14) Who is your celebrity crush?Uuhhh god, Tom Holland?15) How do you vent your anger?Writing16) Do you have a collection of anything?Half filled notebooks I guess?17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?I’m working on it! :)18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?Oh, when I’d play that mancala game and the marbles would scratch that one way? Hate that. I love the sound of boys laughing- I know I’m super gay. 19) What’s your biggest “what if”?The only What if’s I have are self deprecating so I tend to ignore them- nothing but eyes on the future.20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Ehhhh... not really. I mean, anything’s possible, so I can’t rule them out, but if I go my entire life without ever seeing any sign of either of those things I won’t be surprised.21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.So despite other answers I’m actually outside right now, so... tree, and air.22) Smell the air. What do you smell?Dogs. 23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Oh! I got a sad one, so when I was like 3 or whatever my mom was deemed unfit to take care of me since she didn’t own a house and was just taking me from trailer to trailer before she’d get kicked out by a friend for her intense drinking and smoking. Anyways I was taken to a child services place that was really horrific as it was just like 50 children all crying because they miss their families and they didn’t have enough beds for all of us so I slept on the ground. 24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?Female singers? Zendaya is absolutely stunning. Demi Lovato and Ariana Grande too. Tbh all women are beautiful wtf is this question. 25) To you, what is the meaning of life?Just, do what makes you happy, and don’t be a dick to those around you.26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Nope!27) What was the last movie you saw?I think it was The Greatest Showman (again). 28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Nothing major really. One time I sprained my wrist when I was in like, 3rd grade?29) Do you have any obsessions right now?Always obsessed with Survivor and URealms, but I’ve also been rewatching Gravity Falls30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?Idk! Maybe!31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Nope. I always try to find forgiveness. I can’t deal with being angry, it just makes me feel gross.32) What is your astrological sign?Leo!33) What’s the last thing you purchased?A large pizza and some stick-shaped foods!34) Love or lust?Love35) In a relationship?Yes!36) How many relationships have you had?Two37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?Charisma, and being able to love both yourself and those around you.38) Where is your best friend?Florida!39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Sleeping, the fuck?40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Probably not dksksksksks41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?JOKES ON YOU! I work at a dog-place where we look after dogs and take care of them, soooooo, win-win!42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?A) I’m fucking telling everyone. Putting this shit up on YouTube. Let’s get it viral. B) Well if the video blows up use my new found fame to spread love and acceptance, if not I guess I’m blowing my money on traveling. C) Hard to say. I want to say no, though.43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Set It Off - Upside Down44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Communication, Mutual Respect, Love.45) How can I win your heart?Be kind and courteous, and then also buy me a bunch of things for quicker results46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?I mean, I’m not gonna SUPPORT insanity.47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Getting super addicted to gameshows has honestly kinda opened a lot of doors for me and what’s allowed me to get to know a lot of great people.48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Whatever tbh, Imma be dead either way. 49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”Love.50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?Gold...?51) What is your current desktop picture?Just a basic preset one from Microsoft.52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?No, definitely not.53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I... don’t know? I’m faaaiiiirly open? Ask me anything!54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Unrealistic, would never eat vegetables. But for the super power part, I always thought teleportation would be the best- travel costs? Irrelevant. Never late to anywhere ever again. 55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?I don’t... want to say the no cut run. But... the no cut run.56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?No thanks, I’ll keep ‘em.57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?/MUSIC/ Celebrity? God I don’t know, fucking, Brendan Urie? Is he gay? Idk.58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Uuhh California?59) Ever been on a plane?Yes, the first time was just earlier this year!60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Nyle DiMarco is the hottest person to ever live. Tom Holland, John Boyega, Lucky Blue Smith and Zach Miko are all hot too.

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