#So of course I’m gonna act like I’m on psychedelics | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

binniesthighs · 3 years ago

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dear anon, sweet anon, thank you so much for requesting this <3 i didn’t know that i needed it in my life and now...here it is;) IT WAS SO FUN hehe

melt in your mouth | reader x jisung

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x han jisung

Genre: that good good smut

Summary: After hearing a rather interesting story about a certain brand of chocolate aphrodisiacs, your curiosity gets the best of you and your friend’s roommate, Jisung.....a spin off of bites like bittersweet

Word count: 3.7k

*photocreds to OP!

{see below for tags, nsfw and warnings!}

Tags: aphrodisiac au, somewhat friends to lovers, hints of mutual pining, bestfriend!seungmin, seungmin’sroommate!jisung, hardswitch!jisung, hardswitch!reader, explicit language, mentions of food/eating, hand stuff (r &m), degredation, petnames, dirty talk, unprotected sex (stay safe cuties), creampie, voyeurism, and we love a plot twist ;)

~💋~

two flavors seemed excessive. one flavor seemed like just enough. you didn’t want to break the bank or anything on something that was likely crappy quality or potentially psychedelic; even worse, it could be both.

“and you want to try these with me why?” seungmin pushed his wire-framed glasses up his nose bridge and scrunched it up. he inspected the paper wrapper with a skeptical glare. the design itself was anything but trustworthy: in swirly cursive pink font, the name Cherri Amore and under it, a absurdly large lipstick mark with the outline of a couple doing what must have been fucking “spread eagle.”

seungmin muttered, leaning over the counter of the dingy kitchen he shared with his roommates, “proven aphrodiasiac and libido booster...? y/n, sorry, i just--i’m fucking lost here--”

“--ever heard of trying something for the hell of it seung??” you snatched the bar from his hand. “the review that i read online said that it made them crazy fucking horny, so much so that they fucked their best friend of something like five years or something like that. isn’t that insane?!”

your best friend’s eyes blew out with his mouth aghast, “what the hell?? shit--of course you’d find something insane on the internet like this and drag me into it...”

in your incredulous laugher, you threw your neck back so hard it hurt a little. “loosen up! it’s probably a scam or something. plus...if it does work on us...don’t act like i haven’t caught you in the act before...”

seungmin, ever the angel, flushed a shade of fuchsia you thought inhumanly possible for someone to attempt. “that-that wasn’t--that wasn’t what you thought it was!!!” he cast away the chocolate bar as if it were his dick on the very night that you had walked in on something that was supposedly not what it looked like.

“relax!” you punched your embarrassed friend on the arm which he dramatically rubbed into. “it’s not a sin to jerk off or anything. hell, i do it....obviously.”

seungmin chuckled out unsteadily, “well, um, what if it does work then, what do we do?”

you snickered, “ha! hell if i know. cross that bridge when we get there?”

“so what you’re saying is...this could either be a massive waste of our time, or, both of us get so stupidly turned on that we decide to have sex....with eachother?”

“that’s the gist i’m getting.” you took to the corner of the shiny pink paper wrapping at the corner. “but...who said that we had to fuck or anything...?”

from fuchsia to nearly scarlet, seungmin averted his eyes at the speed of light.

“seung!!! do you have something to tell me?!” your teasing grin spread wide and you lifted your hand to give your adorable friend a clap on the back.

“i’m just repeating what you said!!”

you broke the bar open, cracking off the first square on the counter with a solid snap. with a smirk, you offered it to your friend. he reached out, only to nearly jump out of his skin when the old-timey ringtone from his phone erupted in the hollow kitchen.

“shit.” he murmured under his breath, pulling it out and immediately pressing the call button upon seeing the caller. “h-hello? yeah? wait, wait...slow down...the cultures did what?! and you have to start over?? shit--”

before you could have anything to do with it, your friend was already throwing on his sneakers and sky blue raincoat. “sorry, y/n but i have to go. that was my co-worker, they said that something went bad with the incubator, and all of the cultures are ruined, and there’s the stupid lab meeting in the morning--”

“i’m gonna pretend that i understood everything you said.” you hung at the doorway to the kitchen, observing him trip over pairs of shoes and other random-ass college-aged boy items. “you only get a pass because i have a feeling that the coworker we’re talking about here is the cute one.”

your friend rolled his eyes, mouthing a reluctant, “yes.”

“fine then. we can try the chocolates another time.”

“fine--sure--” seungmin grabbed for the handle, “sorry. again.”

~💋~

you felt like the chocolate bar was taunting you, just sitting there opened with two squares all ready for the eating. oddly, you really couldn’t figure out exactly why you had wanted to try them in the first place. for a second, the guilt and loneliness started to seep through and it felt sticky, pathetic, and stung like thorns right into your breaths.

“fuck it.” you whispered under your breath, swiping them all up and walking over to the trash can.

“whatcha got there?” a voice entered the room attached to one of seungmin’s roommates, jisung.

the two of you had met many times in passing, and you had shared enough small talk to consider him somewhat of an acquaintance. from what you had gathered about the boy, he spent much too much time in his room working on his animations and was the dictionary definition of one of those cocky-assholes you had a soft spot for.

“jisung--hey. it’s...it’s nothing. something stupid that i blew my money on.”

“let me see.” he crossed the room, looking wired and overtired as usual.

from staring at his screen for so long his eyes bagged with dark circles, but somehow it made him look mischievous, or something like that. his muscle tank had been cut low to reveal his sides and ribs which flared when he grabbed for the bar of chocolate.

“huh.” he scoffed, “i’ve seen like, infomercials for these things. you were going to try it?”

“yeah...i-i mean--no...i was.”

“what’s stopping you? not curious anymore?”

“window of opportunity passed.”

“i don’t think so.” he grinned, matter of a fact. “i like chocolate.”

you couldn’t quite believe what was being said to you at first. jisung, the boy that you barely knew, was standing there with his goofy heart-shaped smile and all, holding libido boosters and asking you to take them with him.

“you do know what those are, right? what they could do?”

immediately, he popped one in his mouth, nearly like it was a challenge. “empahsis on the “could.””

he held them closer to you, prompting you to take the remaining square which was flecked with little red hard-candy looking bits.

“fine then. you’re right. what they could do.” you downed the candy, crunching it and finding that the quality was certainly not a guarantee. the thing itself tasted halfway between a tootsie roll and cold medicine. “fuck.”

jisung laughed, throwing the rest of the bar away.

“what did you that for?”

“i’m guessing whether they work or not, you might not need them anymore.”

your friend’s roommate slicked his hair back, and ruffled it over his dark eyes. his face was slightly puffed with exhaustion, but it didn’t make him any less handsome.

“so we wait now?” you asked, glancing at the clock.

“wanna order some food or something?” he smacked his lips, “i need a fucking chaser after that.”

~💋~

you didn’t know what time it was; late, probably. after a couple hours of realizing that nothing was really going to happen to you or your friend’s roommate, you had decided to stop expecting it. although, you had kind of hoped...

the sofa that the boys shared was just about as comfortable as you had remembered it. it was large enough to hold you and seungmin’s two roommates on better days, but, once again, random-ass college-boy stuff cluttered at least half of it. it was one of those “dumpster finds” and kind of smelled like a grandma’s house, but honestly, that was what made it so comfortable.

the tv carried on, playing some kind of animated movie that jisung had chosen claiming that the director was some kind of “god of animation and storytelling.” you liked the colors, but soon you felt yourself being lulled and drowsy: your head felt heavy simply resting on your shoulders.

your eyelids fogged, and the sounds from the tv set started to fade into inexistence. beside you, jisung had crossed his arms, but the lack of space had pressed both of your thighs together, and the warmth from his leg started to wash over your drowsy state. your head bobbed, swayed...then fell, directly onto his shoulder. had you been more lucid, you would have cared more.

“oh--” he jumped slightly, and shifted awkwardly.

the room darkened and soon all you could see was the thin line of light that your half-open eyes allowed.

“this-this can’t be comfortable for you.” jisung hushed and clicked the tv off. “hey, you should be heading to bed anyway, it’s late.”

“are you kicking me out, jisung?” you babbled, not really aware of your own words.

your friend’s roommate chuckled, straightening his posture to support you. “i’m not gonna make you walk back to your place at this time of night.”

“it’s only a couple of blocks--”

“--you’ve slept over here before, haven’t you?”

you stretched out your arms with a little squeak.

“yeah. on the couch.”

“you...can’t do that. you’d have to sleep in a fucking corkscrew if you did that.”

“yeah, i know.” you giggled, now finding yourself in a kind of stupor that made you wonder if the chocolates really were doing their job. “i’ll just take seung’s bed then--”

“--he’s! not back...yet.” jisung hugged his arms to himself. “i dunno, shouldn’t he have his bed when he comes back?” he cleared his throat, composing himself. “of course, there’s space in my bed if you’d like.”

“me? sleep with you?”

“yes, with me.” just as he had before, that little challenging edge coated his tone, “only if you’re comfortable i mean. i guess that i’m forgetting that the most that the two of us have shared yet is some wack-ass chocolate so, i shouldn’t be making any assumptions.”

“no, no!” you pounced off from the couch, reaching high to the ceiling to stretch out your sore back next. and, perhaps to let your shirt tuck up just a little bit as you did so. “i don’t have a problem with it.”

jisung nodded, grinning in the half-lit room, cleaning away to-go boxes. you had noticed before, but the way that his triceps tensed when he moved around was really just a little too distracting.

“you can head on in, but--be quieter about it. jeongin is sleeping in here.”

you clicked off a sleepy salute, following the hall down exactly where you had known his room to be, but you had never entered it before. it didn’t surprise you, but it was just as messy as the rest of the place was, and you had to tip-toe around god-knows what to find your way.

after tripping on something soft and sort of damp, (which you prayed was a shower-towel) you made your way to jisung and his face illuminated by the blue-glow of his phone screen where he had immediately jumped in bed after navigating through the room much more skillfully than you had.

“you have an issue if i sleep in my underwear?” you asked, realizing.

jisung paused, wide eyed, but quickly fell back into his casual and cocky smirk. “i mean, that’s basically what i’m doing so...”

“scooch over. i hope you’re not a blanket hogger or anything.”

the bed was already pleasantly warm from jisung having occupied it. it would have felt amazing if you had been as tired as you had been moments ago, but now your entire body felt horribly wide-awake.

“--and if you start to snore, i’m leaving you for the couch, got it?”

jisung let out an airy laugh, shifting and creaking the bed a bit under him, “i don’t snore...for your information.”

with the blankets pulled up to your nose, you turned to lay on your back, eyes finally adjusting to the darkness of the room. above you, the faint green glow of glow-in-the-dark stars sprinkled across the ceiling, making up constellations: from what you could make out, the big dipper was above jisung’s bed, and the little one was above jeongin’s, who peacefully slept with tiny breaths.

jisung rolled to the side, accidently brushing his bare leg against yours.

“night, y/n. sorry the chocolates didn’t work out. would’ve been kind of hilarious if they did.”

“psh.” you rolled over too, closing your eyes, “you saying you would’ve taken up the opportunity to get in my pants?”

“guess we’ll never know.” he sighed.

~💋~

birds chirped, signaling the coming sunrise what was nearly breaking upon the horizon, and filled with deep blue sky with a type of orange-glow. the room was dim and stuffy, and noticeably much hotter than you remembered it being before. over the course of the night, you had tangled your legs with the sheets, finding them trapping you between them, and you shuffled to escape them and feel the air hit your skin. they shifted, letting you feeling the sticky mess between your legs.

“what the--” the aching and heated desire made itself painfully obvious, soaking directly through your underwear, making a wet mess of them where you throbbed with an utterly unexplainable arousal that reverberated in your core.

the friction from your legs only heightened the sensation, and you found yourself unwillingly rutting down into the mattress just to feel an ounce of relief.

fuck, the chocolates, you recalled. while you had expected to feel something from them, this was twenty times more intense than anything you could have planned for.

you were like an animal in heat, vulnerable, weak, dazed. your body set ablaze, and it only made sense to strip of any and all clothing that held you back. in your own desperation, you had completely forgotten about the man resting next to you.

“y/n? what's--what are you doing?” jisung groggily croaked in a tone several octaves lower than you were accustomed to. your brain could only calculate it is as downright, unbelievably sexy.

“jisung, i’m fucking burning up, an-and, i think i’m finally feeling something....are you?”

he hadn’t noticed it at first until he did, but from where he could see where the blanket dipped all the way down to your waist, you were completely bare. with fluttering eyes, he gulped down dry. you noticed the way that he took you all in, looking at every inch of you. you reveled in how he greedily and shamelessly didn’t stop.

under the covers, his own legs twisted.

“me too.” he answered gravely, speaking with a low whisper.

carefully, his tentative touch advanced under the covers, slowly reaching to your bare hip, where he settled a testing caress, squeezing harder, then cascaded down the small of your back to make you shiver. your own hand did the same, instead finding his leg and creeping your hand up and under his shirt. little space existed between the two of you, and only the panting of your heavy inhales and exhales could be heard.

your eyes glued to his, beautifully brown and dilating, trembling a little while holding yours. from his light touches, it took every bit of your will to control yourself from launching over him. jisung’s hand fell lower, and toyed with the elastic band of your underwear which had started to feel painfully confining. each of your own fingers traveled up his torso, brushing over his chest which made his whole body shake.

“sh-shit, i’m so fucking--” jisung started, dropping off his words to let out a wavering sigh. you didn’t need to guess any further.

jisung slid two fingers under your elastic band, and it became too much to handle.

“please, touch me jisung.” you whined out pitifully, clawing directly into the soft muscles of his back.

you were shocked how quickly he had given into you, immediately crashing his lips against yours first, then using both arms to pull you into his chest so close it stole all of your breath away. you kissed him back roughly, ravenous to feel the sensation of his mouth against your own. he growled out a small groan directly into your lips, sloppily working every single corner and edge of your mouth with a devilish smile curling his own.

lower, both of your hips met flush, grinding and twisting to create the kind of pressure that the both of you craved. limbs twisted, sweating and heated skin mingled, and you could feel every bit of his hardened cock right against your own arousal and how his shaft throbbed helplessly.

“you taste so good.” he murmured between haphazard kisses, letting his low tone vibrate against you.

“take these off.” you ordered, tugging at his boxers, nearly taking them off yourself.

“take yours off.” he echoed, and you did.

curious hands plunged deeper, delighting fingers in the slick of the other’s cum.

“fuck.” jisung dragged the explicative over your lip where he lapped lazily into you. “don’t stop.”

you gave him a moment’s pause, stopping to wet your palm with saliva, then met it with his cock. you worked his length with the sharp and twisting turn of your wrist, causing him to whimper out shamelessly.

“shhh.” you hissed, pulling his lip with our teeth, “don’t want to wake up your roommate do we?”

he nodded, biting each and every tantalizing little sound into his lip instead. your own breaths grew shallow feeling the pressure from his hand between your legs and how he had grabbed into your thigh to swing it over his hip for better access.

“wouldn’t you like me to fuck you out, baby? fuck you like the good little cock whore that you are for me? i’ve seen the way that you look...you’ve wanted this...haven’t you?” jisung’s words were slick and luxurious despite their bite.

to suppress the begging moan in your throat, you cupped your hand over your mouth, and pressed hard into it.

the blanket tented from your pulling at his cock and how you rubbed over his slit: it was an ethereal sight even in the blurriness of the room.

slowly, you leaned over to his ear, waist rocking back and forth over the sensation of his hand rubbing into you relentlessly. “don’t lie baby, you want my ass bouncing on your cock...don’t you?”

in one movement, he swept his full body weight over yours and harshly pulled your legs back to open your entrance just for him to tease with his tip. he guided himself in slowly and meticulously, bottoming out once you had sunk your fingers into his shoulders to manage some of the screams you would have let out otherwise.

“fuck yes, baby.” jisung growled, finding an animalistic pace that burned your whole body with white flames of pleasure.

you grew impatient wondering furiously what his cute little pouty cheeks would look like when you fucked him from above, riding his dick. you wouldn’t wait any further, taking your grasp on his shoulders to then flip him, settling your hips over his dick which you pounced on to the tune of one of his moans slipping past, loud and guttural.

“shut. the fuck. up.” you scolded him, throwing your hand over his pretty mouth. he whimpered out once again, eyes rolling feeling the tip of his dick reach as deeply inside of you as you would let it. “cum inside me sungie, i won’t stop until I have every last drop.”

jisung nodded, chest flaring as his breaths quickened.

“cum for me baby, and i’ll cum for you...got it?” your breathy whispers scratched your throat, but you needed him to hear.

you held his eyes which glistened with two pretty little tears that fell as he came hard, shaking with his whole body and letting each of his gleeful moans come spiraling into your hand.

your own heat came surging, right at your core, growing....growing...

a lamplight flashed on.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHAT THE--WHAT THE--”

jeongin threw his sheets over his eyes, while shuddering. “I WAS FUCKING SLEEPING!!”

his shrill scream sent you jumping out of your lust, and you scrambled off jisung’s throbbing and pink cock, and forgetting the force of gravity, which sent his cum dripping out from inside of you. in your panic, you grabbed at anything to cover up your body and his, only to get so tangled that you lost your balance on the edge of the bed and.....

~💋~

THUMP

your body hit the wooden floor of jisung and jeongin’s room, right on your butt where you knew that it would be hurting for weeks.

as disoriented as you were, it took you a good few minutes to realize what had actually just happened.

“y/n?” jisung called with his groggy half-awake, half-asleep tone. “did you just fall out of the bed?”

on the opposite side of the room, you whipped your head over to see jeongin still peacefully sleeping with his back turned to jisung’s bed.

“fuck--um, yeah. i did. shit...”

jisung chuckled in the dark room just barely peeking with the first bits of the sunrise in streaming into the room.

“i don’t know how you did that considering i gave you plenty of space. get back up here.”

still dazed and brain overheating, you could have sworn you felt the little aftershocks of the orgasm that felt so real still coursing through your body.

you felt it too: the way that your underwear had slicked. some part of it all must’ve been real.

“jisung--” you started, not even sure if you wanted to tell him in the first place. “are you certain that you didn’t feel anything?”

jisung turned to face you and shook his head, “no, you?”

you hesitated, holding his eyes to see that he must have been telling the truth.

“i just...i just had this insane dream...”

“dream? about what?”

“it’s hard to explain...” you trailed.

“you look kind of shaken up, are you sure that you’re okay?” jisung extended a careful hand, and smoothed down the side of your face in the way that had felt frighteningly real only seconds ago. his hand lingered, falling down your neck and giving you goosebumps. your eyes fell to his lips, and you wondered if they would taste like you had imagined them to be.

you leaned in closer, closing the gap.

“it went something like this.”

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @cherrychngkyn @iwanttobangchan @bowlofblueberries @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

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specialmoogakii · 4 years ago

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Hippie! S/o Headcanon Katsuki,Kirishima and Shinsou

Request:𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗶 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶 , 𝗸𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗵𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗲 𝘀/𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗼'𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗹, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲?

BAKUGO KATSUKI

This boy didn't really notice your existence at first, because he was always focused on his training, the first time he notices you it was when you were fighting (in a training) with Kirishima. He originally judged you for being """lazy""" because you didn't really avoid all Kirishima's attack.

You weren't lazy for sure but you know, we are talking about bakugo. You cant pretend to get a good judgment from him unless you got the balls to fight with him. And that what you did, kinda... well,you ""fight"" him in your own way.

Bakugo was in his usual day to scream at Deku when you were casually walking around the area with your usually chilling atmosphere that can relax almost all the students just by watching you. You look at Deku and decide to enter the fight without any violent intentions.

"Hey, hey good-looking bomber. You don't wanna scare your moma with a punishment from the teach', will ya?" Bakugo looks at you with his usually annoyed face and screams "HUH?!", he was half frustrated by the random half-compliment. Deku is internally praying for you and hopes you don't get in trouble because of him.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, EXTRA?? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS" Of course, he would scream with his annoyed voice. You smirk and look at him indifferently and not scared at all. Deku was just standing there, looking at you and trying to tell you that this situation may end up bad.

"Saving my classmates from a blondie hot rat like you, it's my business. Especially when I walk around here, you don't own this hallway you know"Oooh, he was so mad and shocked. You weren't affected by his angry mood and that makes him speechless,bakugo continues to argue about it but you were immediately giving a response back with your flirts.

Hold on, the flirts. This boy ain't used to flirt so it slowly killing him, like who the fuck would flirt with him without knowing a single mountain's hair off his?? Of course, you. You didn't care, you just FLIRT. Bakugo ended up going away frustrated after your stupid 3 minutes of argument, a fricking record from bakugo I must say.

After your first meeting, he was looking at you. He won't admit it but, he was curious, you were chilling all the time and when you were around him, you just flirt and gave a sassy response back. His blood boils because of your sassiness, he hate it and loves it at the same time. He couldn't handle his curiosity so he sometimes gets close to you on purpose but, you know who this man is. It's katsuki bakugo, he won't admiiiit it.

When he started to get close to you, he tries to hide his smile when you flirt with him, you notice it but you decide to not point it out, too much stress for you. Bakugo always tries to force you on training more or try to be more energetic in some battles (because he didn't want others to think you are weak), but you just didn't care. He, unfortunately, couldn't do anything about it, you always kill him with an instant surprise flirt. Fricking sassy bitch.

So in a simple way, he slowly opens up to you and starts to get less angry than usual because of your attitude. Your classmates were shocked but they didn't complain. They always found a way to make bakugo shout again and you? Absolutely love it. More reasons to flirt and tease him.But of course,you did all of this without stressing yourself out. Bakugo will be really stressed out but he won’t stop you,deep down,he love you.

I forgot about the hippie lifestyle for a minute. Honestly,this boy doesn’t gave a shit about how you dress up (he kinda does.) or what you do. It’s your life so you choose what you want. As much as you try to make him understand how the hippie life work,he just doesn’t get it.

If someone try to hurt you when you’re trying to communicate without violence, bakugo ask kirishima to cover your eyes and then he start beating that person up if you consent him (you never consent him to attack them,he listen to you.. only for beating them later). He feel very awkward when he need to comfort you but he try. This man try to comfort you and ended up making you giggles.

Text explanation of your relationship with bakugo:

Bakugo:

Where the fuck are you?

You were behind me 2 seconds ago

and now you disappeared.

S/o:

don't worry yellow bamboo.

I just saw a cool drink I wanted to try

Bakugo:

YELLOW BAMBOO?! SERIOUSLY?!

HOW MANY NICKNAMES YOU GONNA GAVE ME, DRUNK FACE?!

S/o:

as many, as I want,

you didn't see yourself in the mirror?

Your bamboo hair never found a good direction lol,

you killed kaminari's eyes a lot of time

when he tried to prank you with your hair.

Bakugo:

HE DID WHAT- UGH WHATEVER

I'M GOING TO KILL HIM LATER

TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW

WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE

S/o:

chiiiill dude, the teach' is always sleeping in his banana "suit". He won't notice that I'm late.

Bakugo:

don't be a dumbass

just tell me

I'm going to buy you that shitty drink

S/o:

yoooo, thank you rich boy

next time, I'm going to teleport to Disneyland

so you'll buy me the ticket lolol

Bakugo:

keep dreaming drunk face

Eijiro Kirishima

Kirishima totally noticed you, after seeing you "fighting" with Bakugo and he was SOOOOO shock seeing you so relaxed after literally having bakugo's scream in your face. He went to stop bakugo before the blondie rat starts to go too far. He told bakugo that the thing he was about to do wasn't manly,bakugo just say a loud "tsk" and went away. You thank him by winking at him.

"Thank you for your help, cutie hedgehog. I will definitely make him mad again for seeing you saving me like a princess" Okay, you broke him just by calling him "cutie hedgehog" and you noticed it, you let out a giggle and just pat him for some seconds then you went away in your usually very bright hippie clothes.

That is, you literally become his new manly girl. He just wants to know more about you and your "strange" but cute lifestyle. He doesn't really know what a hippie is, but he doesn't care. He will appreciate it and support it anyway. It doesn't hurt anyone so why not. You are manly to him.

Every time you two interact, you ended up making the boy blush or laugh with your sassy personality. Of course, he'll block you when you went too overboard with your sassiness with bakugo, you listen to him because.. come on. How can you complain to a cute hedgehog?

You and Kirishima got a special relationship, he always offers you to come with him when bakugo want to stay alone for a while. Especially when you are upset after an failed attempt on ending a fight without violence, he protect you if someone try to hurt you and tell them how unmanly they are on attacking you.

he is really into it when you gave him some lessons about what is a hippie and etc. He wants to learn anything about you and even if he doesn't immediately get it, he doesn't always get your sassiness not gonna lie, he supports you.

He wants to try dressing like you, you know... just friends! aha.. who am I kidding? He likes you-, like more than friends but he won't tell you. He needs time for being manly and confesses to you. Of course, if you want to stay just friends, he would do that. No complains.

When kirishima become angry or upset,he always run to you. You are special and your relaxing atmosphere make his heart calm down, Your company and sense of humor really make him chill and laugh,you aren’t exaggerated and he love it.

Hitoshi Shinsou

Shinso is... strangely interested, seeing a student that is chill but can also destroy you with elegant sassiness? Yes, please.

He saw you with kaminari who was teasing you about having a "crush" over a boy, you don't react badly or embarrassed respect you flirt with him and broke kaminari with one single phrase.Okay, that was strange but strange enough to catch shinso attention.

Shinso was the one starting the conversation and the friendship after you leave kaminari broken, you two have a lot in common even if your "lifestyle" is different. Even though most of the time shinso was silent, he enjoyed your company. The fact you could manipulate someone by just flirting make him internally proud, of course, you don't call it"manipulation" but Shinso definitely see it as a form of manipulation.

Your "psychedelic" clothes really kill his eyes, he doesn't really like it. But overall, he respects how you dress, he absolutely loves your sandals. Your personality? Even better, he adores your flirty side. If you flirt with him, he'll smirk and tell you that your "Manipulation" doesn't work on him."I told you, hot eggplant. I'm serious when I flirt with you" you look at him hoping he finally believes you, he smirk and look at you. He stopped walking just for looking at you on the face so he doesn't make you suspicious.

"Well, you do that with almost everyone when they annoy you. So maybe next time, you'll be lucky and I would believe you." you sigh and shinso continue to walk trying to hide the fact he blushes a little, you follow him and start talking about random stuff. Not caring about the time.Shinso adores you because he found you adorable when you try to avoid fighting and just try to make a human communication.

But he was worried honestly, he doesn't show it because of his always tired face. He will bring you out from an argument if they start to throw arms on you even after you try to calm them. He will comfort you if you fail on ending an argument, he will mind-controlling the other guy who made you upset and made them say sorry to you, and then he throws their mindless body somewhere until they wake up.

You two always chill around or even sleep, Aizawa found you two sleeping on the couch of the dorm for HOURS ignoring the class hours. if you act sassy with shinso, shinso will "sassy" you back. Hell yeah, sassy fight.He is never upset with you and never mind control you, he ain't a villain like everyone told.

////////////////////////////////////

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’M SORRY IF THIS ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED- I TRIED MY BEST ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

I’m sorry again because kirishima and shinso are very short,i know that. And i’m sorry for the 3th time,i’m not used to write them so i tried really hard to get their personality!

-Chakie

#bnha imagines #bnha #bnha bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine #bnha x reader #kirishima x y/n #kirishima x reader #shinso x y/n #shinso x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijiro imagine #shinsou hitoshi #boku no hero x reader #my hero acadamy

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draconicks · 4 years ago

Text

Sam x Alan Headcannons

TW: None

(for @averyangrylesbian 👊💞)

So, Alan and Sam were very intimidated by eachother, and it was obvious to the folks around them.

Alan put up an angry front because he was like, "Ah, shit. I'm in love with him." so, he acted like a dick every chance he got,,, for the first few days.

After that "phase" was over, he began to act mysteriously nice and playful around Sam, always wearing a rare, wolfish grin and standing right between Sam and Edgar, instead of being toe-to-to next to his brother.

When Sam would meet up with the Frog Brothers at the comic store, he would greet Alan with a bear hug and he never failed to make Alan freeze up.

This went on for some time, before Sammy then announced to them (after coming out to his family first) that he was gay.

Edgar 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 to act shocked, but he failed miserably. Sam just rolled his eyes in annoyance at him.

Alan, however, stared at him with a blank expression, but on the inside, police sirens were blaring and he was dancing.

So, needless to say, Alan was 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 happy.

Not much really happened between any of them after the coming out, besides the Frog Brothers becoming more protective and asking him about his type.

Sam would make eye contact with Alan before blushing and looking down, stating that he liked dark hair and pretty smiles.

Alan would bug his eyes out, his heart racing. "Yeah, well, I like blue eyes." he would reply, literally trying not to screech.

Edgar then just sort of leaves the two alone- he already knows what's about to happen and he doesn't wanna laugh at the wrong time.

Edgar has a bad problem of that :/

But, Sam and Alan just sort of stare at eachother for a little while, a thick, awkward silence between the two teens.

Sam then clears his throat and bobs his head slightly, "Is there something that you may wanna tell me? Or..." he asks him.

Alan's eyes water up and he looks around the store briefly, making sure that no one was staring at the two. There wasn't anyone around them, but it was still packed.

He sniffles, and nods his head fastly.

"I...really, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 like you, Sammy." He then fiddles with his thumbs, waiting for a response.

Sam then smiles at him and claps him on the shoulder before pulling him into a crushing hug, relief the only thing that the two are feeling (besides the happiness).

A few weeks later, right before summer ended, the two then made it official, but not without Edgar's and Michael's "blessings".

Michael scoffed and told Sam that he didn't care as long as he was careful as always, and Edgar was confused because he thought that the two had already made it official, but he still gave him his "blessings".

One night, out on the Boardwalk, Alan ran off from Sam's side, telling him he was gonna be right back, and that it wouldn't be long.

Sam pouted but still let him leave.

Alan raced down to the comic store, where Edgar was waiting outside with two Ring Pops, scowling, "You said I wouldn't have to stand out here for long >:(" And Alan promised him that he would make it up to him later, snatching the candy before running off back to Sam.

Sam gave him a worried expression on why he was so out of breath from running that short-distance, but Alan then thrusted a Ring Pop into his hand, "WillyoubemyRingPophusband,SamEmerson?" He rushed out.

Sam cocked his head to the side in confusion and Alan just crumbled, "Will you be my Ring Pop husband, Sam Emerson?" He wheezed out.

Sam's eyes widened and he started laughing, throwing his head back from the question. "Yes, I would love to be!"

Cue them wearing Ring Pops the entire night before Lucy had to come pick Sam up, and that was when they both had to part (but not before they hugged 🥺)

Oh God, Sam is a cuddler.

Alan had never really had that much affection before he met Sam, so when Sam asks him if he could hold him, Alan always looks scared.

But, Sam doesn't wait for an answer and instead just lazily drapes his arms around Alan's stomach, and Alan just very awkwardly pats his shoulder, not quite knowing what to do.

And when they want to have a sleepover, Sam makes Alan come over, because Alan and Edgar's house is not,,, okay-

And while staying there, Alan would restrain from calling Lucy "Mom", since he knew how Sam would react.

He actually becomes very close to Grandpa Emerson, who would sometimes even offer him some Oreos and a root beer, which he would take at every offer.

So, yeah :,) Grandpa Emerson and Alan are best buds.

But anyways, Sam and Alan lay on the floor of Sam's room, since his bed is constantly messy and he's too lazy to change it, and they lay their sleeping mats right next to eachother :,)

Sam doesn't get any sleep because Alan has his knees buried into his back and is snoring right into his ear (which he's sort of okay with, but also not?) so Sam then just wriggles a little ways from him and gives Alan his space.

But of course, he fucking scoots closer to him and puts his knees back exactly where they were LAMKSJDJJ

Sam's fine (not really) with it though

Alan often shoplifts luxurious chocolate for Sam and wraps it up in pink, arcade themed wrapping for him and then would drop it off on his doorstep.

Sam knows damn well that Alan doesn't pay for it, but he could care less because- chocolate is chocolate.

They both go on shoplifting sprees together, although they both have enough money to pay for it. They also will hit the grocery store and steal some random trinkets for Edgar :)

This continued for a little while before Lucy got a call from a goth store saying that her sons were caught stealing some jewelry and a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

After that, Lucy made them stay home, and not go out without Michael's supervision (which crushed both of them, because that was their alone time).

They both introduced eachother to new music!!

Alan only listens to 60's psychedelic rock or 80's hiphop/rap, while Sam listens to hard rock and any kind of synthpop (*cough* Blondie *cough*)

So, they would listen to some LL Cool J and Salt-N-Peppa, and then Motley Crue followed by Blondie, so it's like a rollercoaster inside Sam's house when Alan is over.

But, Edgar is glad that Sam introduced his brother to more music, because he only listens to the same 4 songs 24/7-

And when they get done listening to music, they sit next to eachother, holding hands, and talking about where they would go when they graduate :,)

They both made the same mutual decision to go to state uni, so they wouldn't be apart, and then time would tell the rest

#the lost boys #80s #sam emerson #alan frog #frog brothers #michael emerson lost boys #awesome monster bashers

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a-bugz-life · 4 years ago

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Fuckin’ Amphibians || Anita & Nicodemus

TIMING: A few days ago. PARTIES: @professoranieves and @bountybossier SUMMARY: Anita and Nic are both out in the forest when they run across some Ballogbogs. Things get a bit psychedelic.

Anita had lived in White Crest for almost five years now. When she first arrived, she knew of a handful of supernatural beings, but her worldview expanded exponentially even within the first few months of living here. It didn’t hurt that she spent a lot of her time in the woods, mostly for the bugs partially for the isolation. But even in her years of experience, she apparently still had more to learn. In her exploring, she found herself near a small pond out in the forest. Perfect place for some interesting breeds of bugs. But then she saw them, very large and very gross looking toads. She didn’t think much of it, toads love bugs too. But as she drew closer to the pond she noticed one of the toads puff up, and then shoot something at her. “Shit, shit…” She groaned, as she tried to run before it hit her. But she wasn’t so successful. Initially she didn’t feel much of anything, and thought for a second maybe she was immune to whatever this was. But then the leaves on the trees began turning pink? And the ground began to slowly melt under her feet? No, something wasn’t quite right.

The place farthest away from the lake was the woods on damn near the other side of town. In between trying to figure out any thing that might help deal with the fucking squid, Nicodemus went about business as usual. Took up a job and saw it to completion. Traditionally, he wasn’t picky about jobs that demanded a bounty dead or alive. He took whichever. But lately, he wasn’t in the mind for killing. Just a catch and release to the shadow paying him. The task of catching a handful of fatflitters was just mundane enough that he didn’t expect to be bothered too much. The hunter tapped his fingers against his thumb as he walked, a small perforated cage in his other hand. The things were quick and liked their fatty tissue, so it was just a matter of finding the right tracks of a larger creature and hoping the quick shits were on it. The croak of toads sounded loudly to his left and he briefly looked over in that direction. Over the sound of toads, a voice. A voice that sounded a hell of a lot more bothered than he did. The hunter considered just keeping on the way he was and even as he did, he was already heading over to the noise. As he drew closer and his night vision made out the shape of a person, he looked over at the pond. Oh hell. Fucking ballybogs. They didn’t like when anyone got too close to their little domains. And it looked like the stranger had found that out. He cleared his throat to try and get her attention. “You, uh, you good?”

For a split second Anita thought she saw a person approaching, but it quickly became clear to her that this was no person, but rather a very tall and mobile ice cream cone. Interesting. It was rocky road, which wasn’t her favorite flavor. No pun intended but she really wasn’t a fan of nuts. But then the strangest thing happened, the ice cream spoke to her? No that couldn’t be. She slowly got closer to it, trying to figure out if maybe someone was just standing behind it? But no, just one singular cone of ice. “You can talk?” She asked, the disbelief thick in her voice. She sat down on the ground in front of the ice cream and dropped her head into her hands. “This ice cream cannot talk to me. This ice cream cannot talk to me.” She whispered, then rubbed her eyes and looked back up. “Fuck.” It was still an ice cream cone.

She was looking at him like she wasn’t really seeing him. Nicodemus squinted. Ballybogs made homes out of the swamps he grew up in and he had seen people when they got hit by their shit. Woodstock had nothing on what ballybog crap could do to a person. Once, a few years ago, not even he had escaped it and he was stuck trying to hop into the Mystery Machine that had just been a hollow log. The shame of that still haunted him sometimes. Fucking Scrappy Doo. “Yeah, I can talk,” he answered with a sigh. Damn it. He just wanted to find some damn fatflitters. Not this mess. When she sat down, he stepped back and put a hand on his hip. Oh hell. “This, uh, ice cream is fuckin’ talking to you. That’s me, one big damn waffle cone.” Alright, so she was seeing him as an ice cream cone. Maybe she wouldn’t feel like attacking him. He glanced down at her. “And I might be able to waffle us the fuck outta here.”

Anita was shocked when the guy? Yeah, sounded like a guy, seemed to respond to her delusions … and knew that he was a waffle cone? Anita stood up, eyeing the frosty treat with delicate suspicion. But it was almost as though the moment that he acknowledged that he was in fact a waffle cone, things began to shift. Anita began to hear odd voices coming from all around her in the forest. They weren’t speaking any language she understood, but something told her they were not nice voices. Suddenly, the nice ice cream cone began to melt, causing large puddles of melted chocolate ice cream. “Oh no.. oh my god… here let me help.” Anita tried to scoop up the puddles of ice cream and put it all back into the cone. “We can’t get out of here until I fix you… I can’t just leave you here for them to get you.”

Her eyes, large and confused, were directly on him and Nicodemus couldn’t help but feel a little scrutinized. Waffle cone or not. Jesus, he was starting to refer to himself as a waffle cone. Maybe he had been hit too. When she started to try and put dead leaves, plus bits of grass on him, he decidedly was not feeling like a waffle cone. “Alright, no need to go and do that,” he asserted as he took a step back. “Think you’re the one needin’ help here.” Surely someone else would come along and help. People in town had a habit of running headlong into shit every day. As he waited for a beat, a ballybog croak answered him. Fuck. He was the person that had run headlong into shit. And she had too. “Let’s get the hell on outta here, huh? I think somethin’ nearby is causin’ me to--fuckin’ Christ--melt my ice creamy bits all over the place.” He winced and shook his head. He was a hunter, for fucks sake. With a reserved expression, he offered a weathered hand. “Name’s Nic, alright? Let’s get on away from the fuckin’ acid trip frogs.”

Anita had been ignoring his claim that he didn’t need help getting all of the ice cream back into his cone, largely because that was just insane? Why wouldn’t a giant cone of ice cream want all of it’s contents securely inside of itself before running off? But then he finally offered a real reason. He was melting because of something nearby! Of course! Quickly, she stood up and stopped scooping up the ice cream melted in giant sticky puddles on the ground around them. Anita reached out to take the cone’s hand, finding it a bit odd that he had hands to begin with. “Nic the Ice Cream Man.” She repeated, clearly making up those last three words herself. His comment about frogs threw her for a loop. She had heard stories about supernatural frogs. As she was just about to open her mouth and say something, she saw all of the ice cream quickly melt away from Nic and the cone break off into a million tiny pieces. That’s when she realized that he really wasn’t an ice cream man… he had been a giant toad in disguise all along. She let out a soft scream, then quickly pulled her hand away from him. “You! You’re the acid trip frog!” Without paying much attention to where she was going, she began to slowly back away from him.

Nicodemus breathed in sharply through his nose, thankful as hell that she had stopped trying to help get his ice cream back together. Jesus, he was already in too deep with the ice cream bit. It was too much and he can feel a nerve pulsing somewhere near his temple. He shook her hand a bit stiffly. “Just, uh, Nic works,” he said. “The...Ice Cream Man is my father?” Whoever the hell that was. He had never met the poor bastard. And just when it had all been going so well, she looked at him like he was coming apart at the seams. Hell, he just might have been. Ballybogs spat serious shit and she had been hit with it. His hand clenched by his side before it came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. She was backpedaling towards the ballybogs again and he could see the damn things puffing up. He moved toward her and attempted to act as a buffer between. Like a dumbass would. “No. Nope, I’m not the acid trip fr--Oh fuck.” The ballybogs spat and Nicodemus blocked his hand with his face. He blinked twice, squeezed them shut, then opened his eyes to see his hands melting. His ice creamy hands with weirdly frog-like fingers but hey, he had been born with those. He stared at them for what felt like a century. “I...I think I am the ice cream frog,” he said as he looked at her. “And we gotta get out of my fuckin’ swamp.”

As the giant ice cream began to move towards Anita, she began to panic. How was she going to get out of here? She didn’t even know where here was anymore. Had she hiked here? Was her car nearby? Could she even drive like this? Unlikely. She heard a faint noise from beside her and while it took her a moment to place it, she eventually recognized it. Amphibians. And this ice cream frog was likely their king. Of course the dumb fucking amphibians still had a monarcy system. Reptiles had evolved beyond that need of hierarchy. “If you’re the ice cream frog… can’t you just make them stop! They’ll listen to you. Amphibians are really dumb.”

“Reckon they want us to move away from the party we weren’t invited to,” Nicodemus said as if it were obvious and it was. He could understand them. He splayed his hands out to his side, ice cream and all, in a sign of submission. They could respect that. “Partners. Fellas. We’re just gonna hit the, uh, old dusty trail now as it were. Didn’t mean to bother you fine folks this evenin’.” He made a sound as close to a frog as he could before he turned on his heel and took to walking away. He turned his head toward the stranger and spoke in a stage whisper. “They might not be bright but they like bein’ respected. Let’s just go on elsewhere.”

Anita watched the frog’s leader try to talk them down, finding the level of kindness he was showing them to be more than a bit annoying. In fact she might have rolled her eyes at his big performance, or maybe she just thought about rolling her eyes and actually didn’t move at all? It was really hard to tell. So she tried again, feeling pretty confident that she did this time roll her eyes and not just roll her head around in a circular motion. “Of course they’re not bright,” Anita quickly replied, not bothering to follow suit and speak in a whisper. “Why would I want to go anywhere with you? You’re like their leader or something stupid.” Despite her resistance, Anita followed this strange somewhat suave smooth-speaking ice cream man. At least wherever he was going was away from here, and away from those fucking frogs.

#wickedswriting #fuckin amphibans #chatzy #nic #chatzy:nic #//did we start this 6 months ago???? yes #//did we finish it today????? yes #pls enjoy

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goldenwilliamson · 5 years ago

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Okay so I'm obsessed with beatle!reader concept. So I was wondering if maybe you could write something to do with beatle!reader and george having heaps of chemistry and all the others think they should be together and all the media also questions them about being together then maybe George says 23A “I think I love you.”?? thanks love! Love your writing :)

pairing: george harrison x reader

summary: everyone thinks beatle!reader and george should be together but they’re in a bit of denial

warnings: mentions of sex that happened in the past and allusion to it

word count: 1804

“Friends or Flame: George Harrison and Y/N Y/L/N,” John reads the recent headline of the magazine. The headline is paired with a photograph of you and George sat in a restaurant together last week enjoying a meal after a day in the studio.

‘Spotted in London restaurant: George and Y/n of The Beatles enjoying a romantic dinner together. The prevailing question is are they friends or lovers? They confidently tell the media that they are not romantically involved, but the chemistry seems strong. In the photograph the two are pictured leaving the restaurant together, George with his arm held strongly around Y/N before hopping into his famous mini cooper adorned with psychedelic paint.

What do you think of the couple? Let us know by writing in...’

The story reads and John says it out loud for the five of you to hear, each of you laughing at it.

“Why must they always insist that we are a couple?” You say.

“Well you two do act quite romantic sometimes,” Ringo says, and you and George make eye contact with one another, laughing again.

“How so?” You ask.

“Well for starters, you two out for dinner together, George with his arms held firmly around your waist. If I didn’t know any better, I’d probably agree with the bloody magazine,” Paul explains and you shake your head.

“Do they not understand that females and males can share platonic dinners together?” You say.

“You two just act like a couple but, it’s not their fault that you two have chemistry.” John says and Ringo and Paul nod.

“It’s just cause we’ve known each other for so long,” you say, looking to George to back you up, but he is looking away just drinking his tea in silence.

“It’s probably because you two fucked that time in Germany,” John says and George nearly spits out his tea. You push John on the shoulder, scoffing.

“Oh shush! That was when we were children and it was a mistake that we don’t speak of, John,” you tell him defensively. Yes, you and George had slept together when you were both 17, but you were kids with raging hormones sharing a bed together both drunk in Germany what did they expect to happen?

“Yes John, stop being jealous,” George says jokingly, speaking up finally.

“Oh I’m not, we were all in the room and basically experience the whole bloody thing with you,” John says, never letting the two of you live that moment down.

“Let’s just forget it ever happened alright, that didn’t mean anything and doesn’t effect this so called ‘chemistry’ you believe George and I have,” you tell them.

“Sure it doesn’t,” Paul says, nodding and the others laugh with him. Including George, the cheeky thing.

“I guarantee if you and Paul slept together you would have the same type of chemistry that you and George do. It can only come from sex and the media knows that. You’ve done it to yourself,” he says.

“Alright, let’s just drop this please. I don’t really care for this conversation or what the media wants to believe anymore,” you say, standing to head back into the studio. But it’s a lie, you did care, just as you cared for George. It’s not as though you’ve been pining after him since you were 17, sure you fancied him for a bit when you were kids but that went away. It’s recently come back in the last 6 months though and you don’t know how to make it go away.

You walk back down and work on some stuff in the studio by yourself while the other four hang around upstairs for at least another ten minutes. You take the time to have chat with Brian who too brings up the magazine.

“You two do look quite cute together,” he tells you and you roll your eyes, Brian always tries to play matchmaker for you, sending you on dates and that doesn’t stop when it comes to you and George.

“Oh not you too Brian,” you say to him.

“What? I think you would be lovely together. I think you know that too, and I think he does as well. I see the way you two look at each other, you can’t deny it,” he says, making you smile. But you shake your head and look to the floor.

“Wouldn’t it just ruin the dynamic but? I try to push the feelings away because I don’t want it to interfere with the band,” You tell him being honest now, as you know you trust him to keep it a secret.

“Darling, I don’t think it would ruin anything. The two of you already act like a couple and everyone here can see it, you two getting together certainly wouldn’t make a difference,” he says.

“Plus he is the most handsome out of the lot,” Brian adds with a wink which makes you laugh.

“You’re not wrong there,” you tell him, and soon the four boys come waltzing in ready to begin recording again.

“What were you and Brian talking about?” George says quietly, coming over to stand near you and plugging his guitar into the amp by your side. For a moment you’re worried he overheard you, but you can tell he’s just being curious.

“Oh was just talking about business stuff, it’s boring,” you lie, shrugging your shoulders.

“Right,” George nods, looking away to the other boys.

The session goes by quicker than normal tonight for some reason, maybe it’s because you have so much running around your mind. Most of the thoughts revolve around George. You think of about 50 different ways you could tell him how you feel, but not one of them seemed correct. You conclude that you should just leave it and let it fade away naturally until you no longer have feelings. Maybe if you wait for him to get another girlfriend, that seemed to help you get over him last time.

“Did you lot want to come over for some drinks?” George asks you all and even though you expect everyone to say no and that they just want to go home, all the boys agree as do you.

You all drive your cars in almost single file the whole way to George’s house in Esher. You arrive last of all of you seeing as you don’t speed like the rest of them. You try to mother them often about how unsafe speeding is, but they never listen.

The five of you sit spread around in George’s living room couches sipping on wine and beer for a couple of hours. You don’t often do this, but you all spent the time reminiscing on your childhoods together. Little stories and moments you guys could remember. It made all of you laugh your assess off thinking about the stupid things you all used to get up to.

Everyone begins to peel off slowly, Ringo heading home first, then Paul and John getting up to leave around the same time. You decide you should probably head home too, but you were dreading the drive back into London.

You and George walk out of his house, trailing a little behind Paul and John. You turn to look at him.

“It’s really annoying that you live in Esher because I really do not wanted to be driving into London right now. I’m so tired I may fall asleep at the wheel,” you tell him.

“Stay if you want,” he tells you and you raise an eyebrow.

“Would that be alright?” You question.

“Of course, don’t be silly. I like the company,” he tells you, nudging you softly with his arm.

“Alright,” you smile, “Thanks Geo.”

You two see John and Paul off.

“Aren’t you leaving as well,” Paul asks before hopping into his car.

“She’s gonna stay the night,” George explains for you and Paul raises his eyebrows.

“Once again, the two of you confuse us as to why you aren’t in a relationship already,” John says, sliding into his car and closing his door.

“Ah don’t mind John. Have a good night you two,” Paul says with a wink getting into his car as well and driving off with a wave, trailing behind John who you see starts quickly down the long road into George’s property.

The two of you make your way back into his house side by side and decide to go to bed. You head towards the spare bedroom while George walks around the house turning off the lights and lowering blinds before coming to the spare room too, resting on the door frame and watching you pull the sheets back on the bed.

“Why don’t you just sleep with me tonight? It’s cold and I like someone by my side,” he says and you obviously don’t decline.

“Sure,” you say and he smiles, turning to walk down the hall towards his room and you follow him.

“Here,” George says passing you a shirt, “For you to sleep in,” he says.

“Thanks,” you tell him before turning around to get changed. You weren’t afraid to change in front of George, he’d seen everything before.

He turns the light out and the two of you climb into bed together, George wraps his arms around you and pulls you into the warmth of his body, a feeling you love.

“You know the boys may be right about that stuff today,” he says into your ear, and although you can’t see him, you roll around to make the two of you face to face.

“About the magazine things?” You ask.

“About us, seeming like a couple you know,” he says and you nod for a moment.

“I mean I can see where they might get it from,” you laugh a little bit trying to ease the tension.

“Can I tell you something? Just to be completely honest here,” George asks.

“Of course, you can tell me anything,” you tell him, awaiting his response eagerly.

“Well I think I love you, y/n,” he says hesitantly and you feel a wave of joy roll over your entire body.

“Really?” You grin.

“Yeah,” he almost whispers.

“I love you too,” you mutter back to him.

“Really?” he says mimicking you as he laughs a little bit.

“Really,” you tell him.

“Well where do we go from now?” He asks, holding you a little bit tighter.

“I don’t know,” you laugh, “I feel like nothing has changed except we’ve spoken a few words to each other,” you tell him.

“I feel the same way,” he says laughing.

“I guess the boys were right then,” you tell him.

“I guess they were,” he agrees.

“Shall we have a do over of that night in Germany then? Without the other three in the room,” you offer in a whisper.

“I think that’s a marvellous idea.”

#george harrison x reader #george harrison imagine #georgeharrisonfic #beatle!reader #beatlesimagine

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

Text

papa don't preach. (jackie/gigi) — roza

a seven part story where each chapter details a different relationship with jackie based solely on the song correlated to their individual madonna rusical verses.

summary: the year is 1989 and gigi is in love but can't do a damn thing about it. it seems that everything including time is working against her and jackie. [ verse three: papa don't preach ]

author's note: this will probably be my favourite chapter I write because besides nackie I feel like this ship has become some what of a brand for me and I'm glad since I've shipped them since episode one. thank you jankie candle gc for support always.

My Tumblr: @leljaaa / AO3 Link / ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

*.✧

"You coming to the party tonight?"

Gigi turned, closing her locker as she let out a simple huff.

The blonde hated parties.

It seemed a bit strange for the head cheerleader to be so opposed to the pinnacle of what high school popularity was measured. Gigi hummed as she licked the small bit of lipstick stuck to her teeth as she pulled back her long hair.

"Probably not," she said simply as she grinned seeing her best friend

Crystal groaned, rubbing against her shoulder trying to convince the cheerleader to finally let loose and have some fun. The high school seniors walking down the hallways. She knew that unassertive look from anywhere after a decade of friendship.

"It's gonna be so fun all of the cheer team and some of my girls will be there," her best friend began with a wide smile creeping across her lips as she spoke excitedly at the sentiment that she was beginning to finally be invited to parties their last year of high school.

"If you wanna experience what these parties are like just get two cheap, gas station bottles of Vodka and some snow from down the block."

The redhead hit her shoulders as Gigi gasped, "You're acting like I'm lying! These parties are just excuses for the jocks to up their body count and for everyone to get blackout wasted and wear sunglasses to school the next day."

Alcohol and drugs were fun the first two times until everyone around you turned against you and was in their own psychedelic ward blasting Chaka Khan and AC/DC over their parent's home radio.

"Your boyfriend is gonna be there you know!"

Gigi gnawed at the inside of her cheeks, crossing her arms as they walked towards the parking lot, skipping their last period pottery class together in favour of getting soda from the nearby gas station and sharing a cigarette.

This boyfriend Gigi had was quite interesting.

It was the stereotypical, cutesy head cheerleader with the stunning quarterback that every school and every movie seemed to eat up.

He was decent at best and they were only really together because Gigi was far too afraid to break up with him considering her current situation.

He was cheating. She knew it, she knew for months but still would smile blissfully when he'd come to say hello in the morning or kiss her by Crystal's locker. She saw all of the guilty looks that the other cheerleaders or the side eyes from some of the art students.

She knew.

"I love you ," was something the blonde never heard and she hoped she never would because they both knew in the back of their heads this was purely a mental picture to last the rest of the year and not a relationship.

"I already said no, I told him that Jackie is helping me study for that stupid math exam next week."

Crystal rolled her eyes.

Gigi and Jackie had been seeing each other almost everyday after school for almost three months. She never questioned a single about it, there was no way Gigi would ever be with a woman considering how important her popularity and status at school was to her.

Jackie was extremely sweet and Crystal always enjoyed coming over and seeing Gigi so genuinely happy and glad to have the two of them together.

The Persian was the perfect student every parent dreamed of though from what Jackie explained it was just what every Middle Eastern mother expected.

Debate captain, immaculate grades, student body president two years in a row and extremely passionate. Crystal always felt awful seeing how hard she had to defend herself against all the racist jocks who thought calling her slurs and telling her to go back to Iran was funny.

"I'm from Canada you genius," she'd reply cooly before walking off completely unbothered.

"My mom didn't come to America as a refugee just for me to get offended by some fucking jock." Jackie was truly badass and full of stories.

Crystal could tell that Gigi agreed if the two even with them being complete opposites were so well put together.

"Well, have fun studying," Crystal replied sweetly as always before they managed to slip past the teachers and get into Gigi's black BMW.

Oh we will.

— *.✧

Studying. Studying with Jackie.

"Fucking christ," Gigi moaned as she tightly tugged at Jackie's hair feeling her partner's lips beginning to slip down to her bare stomach.

Well that was a lie.

Three months. Gigi couldn't possibly judge every story and rumour she heard of her boyfriend having sex with other girls at school when not only was the blonde doing the exact same thing but she was doing it with a woman .

Doing this routine with Jackie almost every single night because their parents were almost always gone for work or had late night shifts worked out wonderfully since her mother wanted her to have company while they were traveling constantly.

"Of course your friend can sleep over!"

Friend.

It was 1989. The AIDS crisis horrified everyone even those who hadn't been affected and being out and proud and waving her flag around was not a good idea. It was the worst idea.

Jackie, who was probably the most tolerant person she had ever met, was also scared to come out for multiple reasons though she sighted her cultural background as the main issue.

Gigi didn't even dare make a reference to it with her father still finding it funny to say slurs in her house and out in public shitting on his own masculinity. She'd be a dead girl walking if any of this ever got out.

But god kissing Jackie was ethereal.

"You're beautiful Gigi," she whispered as their lips met for the third time, both of them completely in heaven as they made out on her bed with both of their shirts already discarded on the floor.

"This was so much better than any party," she whispered against her skin as she caressed Jackie's cheek with her thumb. Gigi biting down on her lip as she held back a moan feeling the Persian bite down on her neck.

She was intoxicated every minute they had sex, every time they'd sneak out at lunch or from their individual activities at school and make out in Gigi's car with the air conditioning and radio blasting.

Boys were completely and utterly overrated.

Having sex with a woman was liberating despite the time period they were living through.

It was beautiful, it was the most intimate thing Gigi would ever experience and it only helped that Jackie was the most attractive woman she'd ever laid eyes on.

No one would ever compare to those dark brown eyes and the long, curly black hair that fell all the way down to her hips.

That soft smile and chuckle whenever Gigi would hold her hand or kiss her cheeks while they made out or shared a cigarette in her car.

Every hiss, moan, breath—everything about Jackie was utterly irresistible.

"You're heaven," Gigi breathed out panting as their lips parted, Jackie gently slipped off her lover's skirt as the two of them continued to kiss.

I'm in some deep trouble with this.

"How's your boyfriend," Jackie giggled against her earlobe as Gigi gasped, surprised that the Persian would even make a shady comment especially regarding her relationship status.

It was an odd turn on.

"That was shady," she breathed out with a moan feeling herself completely melt in the warmth building around their bodies. "He's at the party that I refused to go to."

Jackie gave a firm nod before opening her mouth to speak again, "You ever going to actually break up with that prick?" She asked quietly with their hands mangled in each other's hair.

Gigi rolled her eyes, not wanting to think about her stupid boy toy when she had Jackie about to frivolously pound her in the ground for the fourth night in a row.

"Gigi?"

She definitely seemed a bit pushy on the subject of her cheating though Gigi grabbed her wrists and kissed her hard. Jackie couldn't be mad they were kissing again even if it was absolutely a cheap stunt to shut her up.

We're not talking about this right now. The message was loud and clear to the Persian who decided to drop all mentions if it for now.

Fine. You win.

— *.✧

Gigi dragged long on her cigarette, puffing out the smoke as Jackie opened her bedroom window coughing. "This is a daily occurrence I'm noticing, do you always smoke after sex?"

The blonde stared at her lover who was still completely nude, the senior hummed along to the Madonna single that played in the background from her glittery, pink radio.

"If you're gonna stare at me you shouldn't make it so obvious you know," she spoke with a smirk across her lips as she turned towards Gigi who flushed. Jackie pulled the covers over herself as she let her head rest on the blonde's chest.

They closed their eyes and sang along quietly to the music that bounced around the walls of her bedroom as the Persian took a heavy breath.

"I'm in love with you Gigi…."

Gigi crushed her cigarette in the ashtray right on her table, frantically panicking on how exactly to explain that the idea of them being any more open was an awful idea.

"Jackie…"

"I know, I know, I'm ridiculous and out of mind for ever thinking that you'd love me back and would ever be out and proud with me," Jackie began before the shorter woman held her hands on her shoulders, kissing her so she'd stop talking once again.

The Persian chuckled admitting that it was a pretty effective method.

"Loving you is easy Jackie, accepting it is the hard part," Gigi admitted with silence building in the air as she continued on about how right now wasn't the time for them to be open and how everything was working against their favour and their life.

"I know."

"I know you know it's just—" Gigi shrugged, getting angrier and angrier that they even had to be forced to keep their love a secret as if they were Romeo and Juliet or some star crossed lover bullshit she had read in her literature class from junior year.

"I love you but I can't break up with anyone now, everyone knows we're friends and Crystal is already suspicious of everything we do."

"Crystal would never call us out, she's not one to talk either when she and Jaida make out after every guard practice," Jackie laughed admitting something that Gigi sure hadn't known about her best friend.

"Wait, she what?!"

"My lips are sealed, Jaida is my best friend and my secretary." The Persian laughed as she stuck her tongue out, Gigi immediately wrapping her arms around her and locking lips.

That's definitely going to be a phone call with Crystal later.

Euphoric.

"You still taste like cigarettes," Jackie coughed dramatically before Gigi pressed a finger to her lips with a suggestive grin, admitting that Jackie still tasted like everything that had happened in the last ten minutes.

"You're much more erotic than I expected."

"I know, I'm truly incredible baby."

Half an hour passed before Jackie began to drift away and sleep, the two of them making sure to at least put some clothes on in case her mother was to randomly come home.

Gigi sighed, not being able to fall asleep as easy as her lover.

Everything in Jackie's life was planned out: she had every credit, every club, every possible letter of recommendation and was just waiting to get those acceptance letters to Havard or Stanford or some elite college to go and study Political Science.

Gigi was a head cheerleader, barely passing her classes and enjoying life on a whim.

She'd never wanted something or someone for that matter so badly, so purely. This felt like some kind of high school romance that was supposed to burn out in a month or two.

I want Jackie forever.

Shit.

— *.✧

"You doing alright?" Crystal asked the next morning as Gigi nodded, wearing a longer dress than usual to mask all the hickies and bruises that had shown up over night from Jackie's consistent biting.

"How was the party?"

The guard captain sighed, admitting it was just a lot of pills, marijuana and cheap alcohol. She sounded even more upset about the fact that everyone there was almost exclusively a jock or the freshmen who were related to them.

"Told you we could've just done drugs in my car."

Crystal slapped her shoulder as the two of them passed Jackie who gave a wave and said good morning to the both of them before giving Gigi a distinct stare.

The blonde giggled to herself knowing exactly what that stare meant. It had become an entire language with dozens of codes and fabrication written underneath the staring and glances.

Your car. Five minutes.

"I'll talk to you later," she yelled as she took a detour down the staircase as Crystal was left standing, utterly confused.

"Okay?"

It indeed took only five minutes for Gigi to run past all of her fellow cheer team in the locker room, say hello and make another sharp turn out the door before exploring the parking lot trying to remember where she had even parked her car this morning.

Gigi unlocked the car immediately upon seeing Jackie already leaning up against the passenger side door.

"In the car," were the only words that left her lips as Jackie followed her instructions with subtle glances to make sure no one was watching them as Gigi locked the door and immediately threw her keys to the backseat, grabbing Jackie by her collar and kissing her heavily.

There wasn't much time to respond but once again the cacophony of voices in her head yelling how wrong it was seemed to completely disintegrate the moment they began to kiss.

"Someone's in a mood," Jackie said breathlessly as they seperated, falling back into the seats as Gigi adjusted her top, trying not to wrinkle it too much.

"You're the one who wanted to meet me!"

"I didn't want to make out with you!"

The blonde cocked a brow, crossing her arms as she turned down the radio and let Jackie have her turn on the soapbox.

"Go ahead," Gigi grinned, completely interested with what Jackie possibly would want to speak about. "You have my full attention baby."

The Persian sighed as she lifted up her shirt, Gigi completely flustered at first thinking that they were actually about to attempt intercourse in the front seat of her BMW though it was completely different than what she expected.

She gasped seeing the various marks across her stomach and hip, her finger gently dragging past them in horror.

This certainly wasn't from them sleeping together last night, it looked far too painful and too new of a wound.

"Guess who Gigi."

Gigi shook her head furiously, refusing to believe her boyfriend was that much of an asshole. "He didn't," the blonde mumbled completely in awe.

"He did. Jaida sent him packing though, him and his stupid friend. She ran after them for a solid hallway or two."

I missed all of this because I decided to skip first and second period to get coffee.

"What even happened?"

Jackie looked at her, frowning as she still managed to keep her composure undeniably well. "Gigi I think it's now a bit too suspicious that you're skipping parties in favour to get good grades on tests."

"But it's a valid excuse!"

"Almost every day for three months?"

"It's good sex!" Gigi blurted out not knowing what else to say in response to her partner.

Jackie adjusted her shirt as she spoke seriously, trying to make sure that Gigi knew that this entire relationship was a stalemate.

"Either we need to be twice as secretive so no one else gets suspicious or has any more violent ideas or we need to stop completely Gigi."

The blonde held her hand tightly, whispering how badly she needed Jackie in her life and how badly she was going to beat up her boyfriend after this conversation was over.

"Gigi, be smart about this, do not try to rope your emotions into this conversation," Jackie snapped, Gigi immediately looking taken a back as she silently sat against the driver seat letting the Persian finish.

"I love you badly Gigi, I've never loved anyone so much in my life and probably never will but let's be smart about this for a minute. We're seniors, we're both graduating and have completely different paths planned."

Jackie took a breath, "Are you willing to be with me despite the fact everything for people like us right now is utterly awful?"

Gigi nodded, not even taking two seconds to think about the answer to that question.

"I want you and only you."

"Promise?" Jackie held out her pinky, Gigi snickered though the Persian seemed completely adamant about the gesture.

"I promise."

— *.✧

Promises are a curse.

Of course the minute they promised to make it work it all fell apart.

There's only so many nights and weeks they could've gone without being caught.

One stupid night lead to lots of whiskey, a few cigarettes, their clothes off and more sex expect this time her father was home.

Shit.

Gigi wasn't sure what to expect besides Jackie being almost thrown out of her window and the blonde having to watch the entire thing play out before her.

Tears, a lot of them as her father was screaming and completely shattered at the fact his only daughter was attracted to women.

Being an awful human being or failing school were not on top of the "things to be disappointed in" pyramid of life. Nope, it was instead that she was in love with another woman.

"If you saw how she treated me you'd give me every blessing you had and an apology," was the only thing Gigi muttered at the table the next day. Her hair still messy, her father beyond the realm of anger and her car keys taken away of course.

They agreed to not speak to her mother about this. This was purely a one time thing and a mistake her father convinced her.

"Can't you see that times are changing?" Gigi yelled, slamming her glass down so firmly she was shocked it didn't shatter on impact. "Is it because she's Iranian? Is it because you don't want me to be gay and hurt and outcasted by the world?"

No answer.

"You're too young to understand."

"I am about to go to college, I know exactly what I'm saying."

Gigi had never felt such a cold and depressing tension hanging above the air. She ate the rest of her breakfast in silence before attempting to call Crystal and explain what had happened when her father was out of sight and in their backyard.

"We're in love Crystal, this isn't just some stupid movie fantasy," she attempted to explain through tears as her best friend offered to come over or atleast give her a ride to Jackie's apartment.

"Leave in ten minutes, I'll meet you outside."

— *.✧

Back to square one they were.

The crying and emotional reaction was enough to tug at Jackie's heart and let her stay the night and for them to have sex again.

Now instead of her house all night it was all about rigorous planning and trying to make sure that them being together didn't circulate around school the final months they had together.

Absolutely no hanging out in school, no more glances, no more sneaking to football games just to see Gigi and make out behind the bleachers; it was a sacrifice but was well worth it for safety.

No boyfriend was the only positive outcome of this entire mess.

"You ever wanna run away?"

Jackie cocked a brow, looking ridiculously worried toward the statement the minute it left Gigi's mouth. Their fingers tangled in each other's hair as they had been laying in Jackie's bed the entire morning, fully clothed but completely horny.

"Is this a question or a proposal?"

Gigi sat up on the bed, running a hand through her own hair as she sighed heavily wondering if this was even a concept worth exploring.

"What if we just run away Jackie?"

The Persian already up and sitting next to her, rubbing her shoulders as she spoke about her plan and how she had dreamt of it last night.

"We never have to hear our parents whining or bitching about our relationship, we can be open, we can have a life together—" Jackie shook her head in desperation.

"No… Gigi, please think about this."

"It's almost the year 1990! Things will start changing Jackie, I just want to be with you and love you and not be afraid to shout it in the streets," the blonde began to go off on another rant as Jackie returned the sentiment by kissing her lips, making sure she'd stop talking for a minute or two.

"That's not fair, you stole my method."

The Persian cackled, pressing her lips to her forehead, completely amused as they decided to drop the conversation and instead get up to eat and try to get Gigi's mind off of this entire idea and situation laid out before her.

"We'll figure it out when the time comes."

— *.✧

Time.

There's not enough time .

There never will be. Life was truly just one giant hourglass filled with sand and expectations.

Sitting at an almost three hour long graduation was absolutely a waste.

Gigi is utterly hypnotized as her eyes only stare up at Jackie giving a final speech as valedictorian of the senior graduating class.

It's beautiful to watch, truthfully.

To see Jackie completely telling her story to so many parents and students, some of which had consistently harassed her and wished she'd been beat up harder by Gigi's ex boyfriend.

Her words were smooth and crisp and she had the ability to truly make anyone cry and deliver a message, to reconsider arranging their entire life around and starting fresh and clean.

It was powerful.

Crystal was in mopping sobs the minute Jackie even started and she only got louder and louder as the speech went on, Jaida and Gigi holding her hand on each side trying to calm her down.

"Please stop crying," Gigi grinded through her teeth as she adjusted her cap and gown.

Occasionally Gigi's eyes would water but all in all it was a beautiful speech, the only one the blonde would ever want to listen and analyze.

I could write an entire thesis on her.

And her thighs.

They clapped before she stepped down, shaking hands with the principal as she walked back to her seat, she strolled past the blonde quickly giving a loving glance towards her direction.

Crystal was completely broken the minute they tossed their hats in the air and the entire room burst into cheers, Gigi screamed in happiness once she realized that everything about high school was over and done for.

I managed to survive senior year.

Jaida, Crystal and Gigi all headed for the bleachers knowing that there had to be one last smoke and one last cheer to the three of them who had become extremely close once Gigi's best friend decided to live her life truthfully and admit she had been seeing Jaida for almost a month.

"Am I allowed to join in?" A familiar voice commented softly as they sat at the top step of the bleachers, looking out at the sunset and the view of their high school one last time.

Jaida laughed, cheering for her friend and their senior president as Gigi smiled and nodded. Her feet gently tapping the bleacher space right next to her that could be filled up.

"Absolutely," Gigi spoke with a grin as Jackie took off her cap and heels, walking barefooted across the dirty, old steps with not a single care in the world.

Gigi was impressed.

The minute the stars started to come out was when Jaida and Crystal realized they had to leave, wishing them a goodbye as they hugged with not a single tear shed knowing tomorrow they would all celebrate at Jaida's house.

Jackie and Gigi were left. Alone.

Two women, making out under the night sky attempting not to lose balance on the creaky bleachers as they kissed in public even if nobody was watching.

How romantic.

"You're perfect," Gigi spoke in fragments as they kissed, Jackie taking in all of the blonde she could before she had to move away to the east coast and go to Havard.

This couldn't possibly be the end of the story.

Jackie wasn't going to let their last moments be them sobbing and making out on their high school bleacher after everything they had gone through together.

"Runaway with me? Come to Massachusetts?"

The question.

Gigi felt like she couldn't breathe the minute Jackie suggested it. It felt like a stranger fever dream she wanted every part of.

"Are you serious or just joking around?"

"Serious. You run for the hills with me tomorrow after we see Jaida and Crystal."

Gigi's lips curled into a smile as she wrapped her arms around her lover's waist with a firm nod of the head.

"Absolutely."

#rpdr fanfiction #jackie cox #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jaida essence hall #gigi x jackie #crystal x jaida #lesbian au #high school au #s12 #implied sex #madonna verse series #roza #tw drug and alcohol mentions

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justpeachythoughts0916 · 4 years ago

Text

Grieving & My Grieving Journey...So Far...

February 2nd, 2021: When I was growing up the only grief I truly felt was the loss of grandparents and pets. The only grief I experienced firsthand all made sense to me, people who followed the order of life you get older, you get sicker, and then die. At that point and in those instances it wasn't hard for me to utilize logic and reason to understand their lives were lived and their time here had expired.

In high school I witnessed the school, my friends, and my classmates just in shambles after two boys died in two separate car accidents. These deaths caused me to feel an overwhelming amount of empathy and sympathy for my sad friends, but I wasn't close enough to these two to grieve really. I felt bad for everyone feeling so bad and knew a generic "I'm sorry" simply would not suffice. I still knew there was nothing on this planet that I could say or do to heal that wound. I knew there was no making sense of these tragic deaths. Two happy, smiling, kind, young souls were gone. There is no making that okay.

Since high school this area is cursed with so many young deaths. We've lost people to suicides, accidents, overdoses, the list goes on. Still, I remained in the helpful, supportive friend role. I was not the one with my world upside down, and truthfully at the time I was grateful. Watching people so sad from grieving was heart breaking enough.

When I was 20 and pregnant with my first son we had a gender reveal party, we were ecstatic, my family never had boys. We had people stay the night in a tent in my mom's backyard because we in no way wanted anyone to drive home drunk. My friends at the time partied until morning, then all four went to sleep in a little four person tent.

I woke up at tenish, my mom made French toast for breakfast for everyone, then left for a matinee with her friend. One by one my hungover friends started coming in for breakfast. My son's soon to be God Father came in and said "Nate snored so loud, he shook my pillow" I replied, "He was cocked, and passed out" and giggled at the thought of their shenanigans. My step-dad and sister and his best friend were just watching the Sunday Giants game, casually cracking their first beer around noon.

My friends were about ready to go, trying to figure out how to make the six people fit in a five person car. Nate wasn't up yet, not shocked, it was only 1:00 pm. He was sleeping on his tummy, using his arm as a pillow. I started to wake him up saying "Nate...Nate...Nate..." giggly and patient. I tickled his feet and he didn't move, he was just sleeping heavy. "Nate...Nate...Nate..." I pushed my fingertips into the soles of his feet and they stayed. I instantly said "He's dehydrated, and retaining fluid, get him water." Still not panicking...I stared at his back looking for breath movement before I thought "I'll just yank him by the ankles, that'd wake anyone up." So, I did just that...nothing. I went to look at him and saw purple skin through his red hairline and ran to get an adultier adult, my step-dad.

I ran into the house, where they were all watching a seemingly compelling play during the game, bursted in and yelled "Nate's blue, he won't wake up, I don't think he's breathing!" I've never seen my 6' 8" step-dad move so fast. He ran outside, ducked in and looked in the tent for about .1 seconds before he said "Steph, you need to call 911 now!" at 1:06 pm I picked up Nate's phone (it was the closest in reach) and tried to give a bunch of information to a dispatcher. I made little to no sense, because my step-dad didn't tell me why I was calling 911, combined with anxiety, I wasn't able to give them my mom's address. My younger sister tried to take the phone from me but the dispatcher asked "Can anyone there do CPR?" We all could, why didn't I think of that? I handed the phone off to my sister, and ran back to my step-dad and all my friends just shaking their heads and said "WE CAN DO CPR!" My step-dad as calmly and level as he could said "We can't save him, Steph, he's gone."

My. Soul. Left. My. Body.

My legs just stopped working.

Draped in my step-dads arms.

He's 6' 8" standing next to him I'm chest height.

I was down to his stomach.

Sobbing.

Drooling.

Quickly I ran away from his embrace screaming "NO. NO. NO. NO", into the road screaming up it "WHATS TAKING THEM SO LONG?!"

In that instant for the first time, it was me. I was the one with the dead best friend. Begging cops "Let me go with you to his Mom, her whole world is upside down here, and you're gonna tell her that with a straight face, just take me to tell her." Of course, I was informed protocol exists, and that couldn't happen. The second Nate's death hit social media I was the one flooded with "Oh my god, what happened?" "I'm so sorry" "My condolences" blah blah fucking blah.

My best friend's heart stopped to due to a lethal combination of Xanax and alcohol. Nothing about life or death made sense anymore. My best friend died from partying too hard? How do you make sense of that? When we all went to his services we stood in a circle together. Everyone stared, everyone, we were the last ones with him. We were trying to process what was about to happen at the viewing and we heard "That's them." The services were a nightmare. My friend Bryan and I were first to walk in, and the second we saw his bright red hair in that white casket we both couldn't stand. We stopped the line, and I sobbed and said "We can't do this." We went in the room with his twin sister and mom, we offered his sister his aviator sunglasses that were left in the tent, and we offered his mom to go to her favorite local ice cream parlor on Mothers Day every year, a tradition Nate followed with her. I asked Nate's mom permission to name my son Nathan when we went to see her the day after he died, so I tucked an ultrasound of his namesake in his pocket, and a pack of cigarettes with his lucky flipped. We stayed through the whole viewing, saw all those sad broken faces, got all the sad and sorry hugs, at the end we all walked up together I kissed his forehead, and we left.

I spent the first threeish years of my new life without Nate crying occasionally or at appropriate times, like when I gave birth to my Nathan. The rest of the time I kinda carried on like mentally him and I were taking a break from eachother, like I myself was choosing not to message or call. I got into therapy after hearing countless "You need helps" from family and friends. In therapy, I was cautioned that this event gave me Complex PTSD and Complex Grieving. Still, I just kept going with the flashbacks, nightmares, and the stages of grief over and over. Three years in, I had a startling realization using a butt fuck of psychedelics of "Oh my God, my person is gone, I can't get him back, we can't talk, and that really happened." Instantly, I was grieving his death like new again. Oh no. I had less than understanding from most people. Most people honestly seemed perplexed how it could feel so fresh after "so many years" *eyeroll to my spine*. Solely because me being pained and honest with it is/was uncomfortable. OOOF.

I knew Nate taught me so much in his life and in his death. He also was the first to teach me how to help people in early grief, because of how many conversations I had that were text book This Is Not What You Say To Someone Grieving. Then again, we're all different.

Just before the 4 year mark with Nate's death, death found me again and again, it followed the people I loved. My honest theory is I saw death up close and personal, I know what that type of empty feels like, I was the one sobbing pounding the ground, mad at the world, so I noticed the devastation easier. I became the support system for my grieving friends, all by just being honest from the get, "Welcome to the club you don't want to be in, you still have to try to eat, you're never gonna be the same and there is nothing you can say to me that sounds crazy coming from the girl who has screamed in the cemetery at 2:00 AM "OVER A FUCKING XANAX?!" and unfortunately this club doesn't come with t-shirts it comes with trauma." It's simple to me, really. Act like they have a cancer on their brain with out being so in-your-face-it-feels-fake. Easy. I've helped countless freshly grieving people in the years after Nate's death.

In October of 2020 I was talking to Zack, my middle school best friend on the phone, I needed help. He couldn't help me, as he was in legal trouble and needed to lay low. We caught up for a while, aside from what I needed help with. At one point he said "I wish Squid was here, he would've been down in a heartbeat." Squid passed in February of 2020. We talked at length about being more careful with ourselves, the worries we had about our other friends, and what grieving is like. Then he said, "I don't know how much closer death can get to me than Squid, he was my boy, it broke me." I just said "I miss that boy so much, he was so warm." Zack went on to say "I don't wanna know which one of us is gonna go first, I don't wanna be the one left." We gave eachother all of our love, and hung up.

On November 19th, 2020 Zack and another friend of ours from middle school, Alex, were headed home from Alex's band practice late at night. Alex was driving when he lost control of the vehicle. They both died on impact, together. It killed me. They died just riding home? The messages flooded in again. "I'm so sorry" "If you need anything, I'm here" as disingenuous as you could be really be. Again, I'm the one with the dead friends. Feeling emptiness in my finger tips. I hated everything, again.

"If everything happens for a reason, than what the fuck?"

"Why them? Why me?"

Despair

When I laid in my boyfriend's bed staring at where the white ceiling met the lavender walls with silent tears streaming down my face I felt empty in my bones. I went outside, lit a cigarette, and called my soul brother, Alec. Al is traditionally a goof ball, but in sad times he has a way with comforting people. He's an absolute doll. I knew I needed to hear his voice and his words. When we spoke I cried and said all the awful initial thoughts, "How am I the one left? I didn't wanna do that. What do I do?" After I got those thoughts out we had a talk that would forever change my views on loss and grief. He said "All of these losses teach us something. Losing Squid taught me that I needed, wanted, and could have a healthy supportive friendship with Alison (his ex-wife, my best friend)." Alison drove up from Georgia to support me, Alec, all of our people, and grieve herself with her people. The hug they shared outside of the funeral home looked cathartic on a soulful level to me. They were who eachother needed to have in that sad and vulnerable time, even after their separation. To that I said, "I still don't get the fucking point."

That's when Alec said something I'll never forget. First, he quoted Carl Sagan in Cosmos, "We're all just a blue dot." Made zero sense, as I had yet to read all of Cosmos, and Alec already had (more than once). He then said, "People's love for you is eternal, regardless of when their physical being dies. Every lesson they taught someone will permanently imprint them, transferring person to person, generation to generation. Zack's love, Squid's Love, Alex's love, Nate's love, everyone's love is eternal as long as your soul learned things from them." I started crying hard. We gradually caught up and got ready to hang up and he said "Stephanie, you will have my love eternally, in this life and in the next, even if my physical being dies you will always have love from an Al"

I had to process those words for weeks, thinking of every act of love, every admirable thing, every moment I witnessed that all my seemingly lost humans gave me, and what changed in me because of those moments. All of these souls filled up books in my mind, heart, and soul. They taught me how to be a happier better me, and they all loved me so much. These acts of love transferred onto my family, my friends, my kids, my relationship, hell, even strangers. Alec was right, my humans didn't die at all, and the more I looked the more I found glimpses of their love here, with me, no matter where they are. They literally cannot die, and there's no choice in the matter, it just happens.

I still have sad days and moments, but I know the saddest moments for me are also the most loving acts they gave me coming to surface...They are still with me to make those moments possible. You cannot change grief. It is a wild bull you just got onto, and you have to hold on tight and dig your spurs in for the rest of your life. The only thing that has calmed the immense pain I've felt was allowing these amazing humans to permanently imprint their best moments onto me. I'm forever grateful I had the privilege to be imprinted by so many angelic souls. All these seemingly small, miniscule moments created the most love in my soul. I'm here to learn, and I've been taught by the best of the best. Their deaths were not in vein, their deaths have all changed me. I sincerely hope this makes you consider how many souls have imprinted on you in life and in death, allowing seemingly impossible eternal love into your heart and soul.

XOXO

"I'm sure there ain't a Heaven, but that don't mean I don't like to picture you there. I bet you're bumming cigarettes off saints, and I'm sure you're still singing, but I'll bet that you're still just a bit out of key." Cigarettes and Saints by The Wonder Years

Dedicated to:

Nathan E. Osgood Sami Jo Colson Zaccaria "Squid" Crankshaw Ally LaMont Ryan Burton Zack Luck & Alexander Simon

I'll miss you everyday for the rest of my life, and will carry your eternal love wherever I may go.

Finally, thank you, to the first responders of Mayfield, NY that were first on scene when Nate passed away on September 20th, 2015

#grieving #copingwithtrauma #copingwithloss #coping with grief #ptsd #complex ptsd #recoveringfromtrauma #mental health #first post #mywriting #writers on tumblr #firstsharedpiece

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ofclaires · 5 years ago

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SELF PARA.

Date: April 18, 2020, noon in America.

Location: Room 102

Brief summary: Claire calls her mom ! They talk about sheep. This is the happiest thing I’ve ever written and I hate it.

As Mary suggested, it was Claire who made the room look like no one lived in it – spotless, like a hotel room. However, it was not just a coping mechanism to keep her mind off of the way things had happened between her and Kass, she'd been looking for something. It had taken ages, but she'd found it, tucked back behind her desk, precariously perched above an outlet: a postcard. Claire doesn't do anything with it for days, just keeps it under her pillow, but she thinks about it. She's been rereading it a lot.

Claire –

Hope everything is well at your school. You have no idea how thrilled I was so excited to hear from Callum that you were attending college – I never got to go myself, you know, so...you're a first generation! I think they do scholarships for that, you should see what's available. I know it's been a while since we've talked, but Olaf's mom is very sick, so we'll be moving back here to be with her. And we're getting married! We'd love for you to be here, if you can.

Miss you, Your mom +354 267-7777

The postcard is about a year old and worn at the edges. Claire never made any plans to go to Iceland. ( She never liked horses all that much anyway. ) When Claire first got the postcard last year, she’s pretty sure she broke not one but two of the punching bags in the gym – because after everything that happened, her mom wasted little time getting hitched with some guy. Some guy that was gonna treat her like shit, and Claire resolved she was DONE. She has too many memories of laying in her twin bed in the trailer, holding her hands over her ears as she waited for the screaming to stop, unable to sleep until she was sure her mom was getting into bed safely. Sometimes, she would sneak into the next room, crawl into her mom’s bed and wait.

Claire’s tired of waiting for people that don’t come back. After all, she’s been one of those people.

She doesn't know why she's started thinking of her mom so much now. Maybe it’s a result of allowing Callum back into her life or the fact that so many people are thinking of their parents, with the email that came out recently. She feels glad that her mom is semi-normal and clueless about what she does. Claire hopes that keeps her mom safe, from everything that's been going on at Gallagher. It's been a hard year on everyone, that should not be undercut, and while she'd like to say that her fight with Kass is the biggest thing on her mind...terrorism is just a tad more daunting.

Claire keeps her distance from the witness protection students for good reason. But she worries about Francis and his close friendship with one of them, and she worries about Kass, who has a tendency to form friends and attachments everywhere. She never thought she'd be glad about Nudge being totally preoccupied by a boyfriend, but at least it makes her feel like Nudge is safe.

After all, hanging out with one of those kids is what cost Amelia.

She taps her foot anxiously, whole legging shaking, which rattles the desk that she's sitting at. She knows there are things she doesn't want to die without doing, she just doesn't know if she's brave enough to do them. Claire doesn't even notice her own nervous tick until Tilly rolls over and looks down at her from her bunk. She gives Claire a look.

"I'm fine."

Disbelief. Tilly is too smart for that, and Claire has never been great at masking her emotions.

"Well, mostly fine. Do you mind leaving the room for a minute? Nothing freaky, I just want to make a phone call," Claire asks, and Tilly's not the type to be difficult, so she agrees. But now that Claire's said the words out loud, she realizes that she wants to follow through with them – she's just scared. Granted, she should feel lucky that her mom is some regular lady in Reykjavik rather than some hired assassin or secret member of a terrorist organization. It's the little things.

Claire is pretty sure the dial tone is the worst sound she’s ever heard. She grips her phone tight, like...she might break it, if she squeezed hard enough, and she has to physically calm herself down, remind herself to breathe.

“Halló?” An unfamiliar voice answers the line. “Hver er þetta?”

Claire does not speak any Nordic languages, so she just stutters. “Um, hello? Is Maggie there?”

“Oh, hello! Yeah, she’s around here somewhere...in the garden, probably,” the man chuckles, switching to English without a second thought. “Who should I say is on the line?”

Claire likes how he phrases that, like she can make up anything for him to say and he’s happy to go along with it. She considers it, but shrugs, “You can say it’s Claire.”

The line goes silent for a moment, and she has to assume that this is her new husband – Olaf. He has a nice voice, but the last husband had a nice voice too. She’s met lots of boyfriends with nice voices, and by now, she’s realized there’s no way to really know a person until you get to know them. Instinct means next to nothing, you can’t trust it.

“Yes, of course. Hi – Claire.” He emphasizes her name, like he’s shocked that he’s gotten to say it, and then Claire spends the next ten minutes waiting in anticipation. She starts biting her fingernails, a habit she thought she broke years ago, but waiting on the line for her mom makes her FEEL like a child again.

“Claire, sweetie? Is that you? Oh my god, are you alright?” Her mom’s voice is like honey to Claire’s ears, bringing back memories she thought didn’t exist. Curled up in bed after long nights, pushing Claire’s hair back away from her face as she tells extravagant stories of pirates and vikings, eating junk food until the sun comes up.

“Hi, mom.” Ever reticent.

“How are you? I mean, I’ve heard from Callum a bit, he’s such a nice boy, but really, how are you?”

“I’m fine. It’s – it’s just been a while, so I thought I might...try your line,” Claire’s voice gets choked up near the end, and there’s tears in the corners of her eyes. She used to never cry, but she’s been doing it a lot lately, for some reason. Maybe she’s getting more in touch with her feelings, which is a horrifying thought.

“Well, it’s good to hear from you! It’s the first nice day we’ve had in a while, so I’ve just been out in the garden – I’m making Olaf fix the dishwasher, damn thing is ALWAYS acting up,” she laughs, and Maggie talks fast – it’s apparent she’s nervous, trying to fill the noise with some chatter. “And we’ve got sheep, and chickens, you would love these little guys.”

Claire furrows her brow. “Mom, you...you HATE gardening. And you also hate dirt. And chickens,” she adds, and she can already feel her heart sinking, because it’s just like her mom to meet a guy and completely reinvent herself into someone new. Claire’s seen her mom go through phase after phase – granted, gardening is a bit better than psychedelics, probably.

“Not any more! I’m a changed woman!” Claire can only nod emphatically at that, because, well, of course she is. “What are you studying again?” It’s also just like Maggie to act like it hasn’t been, oh, five years since they’ve spoken. Just launching into conversation like it’s normal, skirting around the rough stuff. Maggie always did that – avoided the tough conversations until it was too late.

“Listen – Mom, I just...I wanted to call to say I’m sorry. About everything that happened, I shouldn’t have...and I should’ve called sooner too, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, and I still can’t – I –”

“Claire, honey, please. It’s alright, I’ve – I’ve moved past all of that, and...sometimes I do think about it, you know? And I wonder what my life would be like if you hadn’t stepped in when you did, or...if I’d even have one. I made some mistakes too, we both did. That doesn’t matter now.”

But to Claire, it still matters, at least a little. As long as she still dreams about the blood on her hands, it will matter. But it’s nice to hear her mom say it, and it’s a comfort to know that her mother’s life isn’t ruined by what she did – that things go on. She’s spent years imagining worse case scenarios, the turmoil she’d put her mother through, too afraid to reach out for fear of hearing the worst. This, at least, is some comfort.

“It’s okay, I know it can’t have been easy – forced to raise me on your own, and all. If I had a kid I’d probably drop it off on the doorstep of a nunnery or something.” Was that a thing? A nunnery?

“Don’t give me too much credit, I sure tried to get out of it – and god, your dad had it easy, doing God-knows-what in God-knows-where with his shitty band.”

“Is this the part where you tell me my dad is like, Mick Jagger or something?”

“Jesus, Claire, how old do you think I am?”

This makes Claire laugh, and after a moment, they’re BOTH laughing, and if it weren’t for the miles between them, it’d feel nostalgic – like coming home after school and throwing her backpack across the floor of their trailer. She’d sit at the kitchen table, eat dinosaur nuggets and Kraft mac & cheese while her mom would put on the radio, sing along to Dolly Parton in some ridiculous outfit. Claire remembers the bad days best, but when she remembers the good days, they’re really good.

“You’re happy though?” Claire asks, “I mean, you like this guy?”

“Yeah, I really like this guy – and I KNOW I don’t have a great track record, but he’s good. He’s really good. I mean, I’m out here gardening! I have chickens! He’s the real deal, and...he’s a great cook. I know it seems sort of crazy, packing up and moving to another country, but I really love him. You’ll get it someday, when you meet the right person.”

Claire rolls her eyes at that, in spite of herself. She’s glad her mom can’t see her face. She still doesn’t know what to think about love, but she has a feeling that it’s not really for her. She’s the metaphorical equivalent of Iceland – too distant, too much effort.

Then again, some people seem to think moving to Iceland is worth it.

“Okay.”

“Wait! Oh, Claire, what are you doing this summer? Do you want to come stay with us?”

Claire wrinkles her nose, “And what? Shear sheep?”

“Yeah!” Maggie replies enthusiastically, not picking up on the note of disgust in Claire’s voice ( or choosing to ignore it. ) “It could be fun, and I’d love for you to meet Oly. It’s a great little place, and summer’s really the only time worth visiting because it’s pretty much all darkness from September to March. You’ve seen that little video on the Youtube, with that guy–”

Claire cannot recall the little video on the Youtube. “I don’t know, I’ll think about it. Summer classes and stuff, you know.”

“Oh, of course, I’m sure you work so hard!” Maggie sounds so PROUD over the phone, and Claire wonders what her mom would think if she knew the truth about everything. Claire doesn’t know whether to be happy or sad about the fact that her mom blissfully ignores everything that’s difficult, inviting Claire for the summer as if no time has passed.

“Yeah, so, um...tell me more about the chickens and sheep and stupid dishwasher, I guess. And the city? What’s that like?”

Claire’s happy to sit on the line for thirty more minutes, listening to her mom describe her new life, and they chat animatedly, like they’re at that kitchen table or laying in bed ‘til dawn, uninterrupted by the rest of the world. For thirty minutes, there’s no Blackthorne, no terrorist attacks, no witness protection students, or interpersonal drama. There’s only Claire and her mom ( mostly her mom, going on as Claire shakes her head and interjects, rolling her eyes as her mom teases. ) Although Claire knows better than to trust a calm before a storm, than to believe that nice things like this last. She won’t get her hopes up about the summer, because knowing Maggie, there’s a last-minute cancellation already in the works.

But she’ll enjoy this moment, right now, curling up on her bedspread like she’s a little kid again. So, when they get off the phone after a while, Claire just – she looks up at the slats of the bunk bed and smiles, so wide that it makes her face hurt a little – does smiling usually hurt like that? Now she’s pitying all the happy people.

Claire gets up to pin the postcard above her desk, deciding that there’s no point in hiding it underneath everything again. It’s probably not a good idea to get excited about even something so fleeting as weekly calls, but Claire is a glutton for disappointment, it seems. Lately, it’s felt like a big piece of her life is missing, and even if this one doesn’t fit perfectly in its spot, it’s still pretty damn good, because it fits perfectly in a different place – one she’d stopped noticing because it had been empty for so long. Optimism is a feeling she’s never really afforded herself before, but it feels good.

Well, as they say in Iceland:

Þetta reddast.

#*#i redid claire's theme and its cute tho

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fabrowrites · 5 years ago

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The Ninja Create Fursonas

Despite the title, no furries were harmed in the making of this fic

----------

When the announcement first comes through, Jay's thrilled. He can't believe it's real. It's like something out of a dream. When the day finally comes and they're on their way to the studio, he sits in the back seat and practically vibrates in place for the entire trip.

A hand settles on his thigh. "Settle down, Jay!" Cole says, laughing. "You're charging up enough energy to give us all static shocks for a week. Is your brain exploding? You're so jittery today."

"Of course I'm jittery," Jay snaps. "How are you not? This is like, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."

This thing being- wanting to ride their latest wave of popularity after defeating the Preeminent (and Nadakhan, but apparently he didn't count- yes, Jay was salty), a toy-making company had approached the group and asked if perhaps they'd be interested in a line of stuffed toy creatures made after them? As if they'd say no. And if that wasn't enough, they also wanted the ninja to be the ones to design them.

Jay just might pass out in the back of this van.

They'd been escorted into a cozy-looking room with long tables and chairs and given giant pads of paper and black markers. The head artist gave them a rundown of guidelines- nothing scandalous, certainly; they should try to make each character cute, relatable, and most of all marketable- and oh, wouldn't it be neat if they each had something to do with their element?

Jay had agreed readily. He sized up the sketch pad in front of him and cracked his knuckles. Okay, brain. Let's do this.

Except that was forty-five minutes ago and Jay's no closer to an idea than when he began. He bangs his head against the table with a long, drawn-out groan. His sketch pad drops uselessly from his hands.

"It's no use," he whines. "I don't have a creative bone in my body. I'm gonna have to pack my bags and move to the south and become a repressed goat farmer."

Kai mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like "not a creative bone in my body my butt." But when Jay looks over at him, the fire ninja's attention is fixed firmly to his own board.

Blearily, Jay raises his head. Everything he's drawn looks like trash. There's a weird leopard creature scribbled out in the corner. Next to it is a lizard that looks like a cross between Rango and that purple thing from Monsters Inc except with none of their good qualities and all of their bad. A sad bird-thing sits in the center. It looks disappointed in him despite its lack of face. Maybe the blankness enhances it.

He drops his marker on the table and leans back with a long groan.

"It can't be all that bad," Nya says. She's bent over beside him, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she fills something in. Jay sighs without moving.

"I couldn't think of anything to draw so I started drawing Kai as a porcupine."

Nya whistles lowly. "That is bad," she says. Both of them ignore Kai's outraged shout of: "Hey! My face is the best inspiration you'll ever get!" She sets down her own pad, closing the cover. "Maybe if we show you what we've done, it'll inspire you."

"Or it'll just make me feel worse about myself," Jay grumbles, but he sits up in his seat properly. "Okay. Let's try that. Do you have anything?"

Nya shrugs the way she does when she's proud of something she did but doesn't want to call attention to it. "There was something I was working on." She flips open her sketchbook. Jay scoots his chair closer to hers. His eyes widen.

"Woah, Nya! That's actually really cool!"

"Actually?" Nya asks, raising her eyebrow, but she laughs when Jay pouts at her. "Oh, fine. Thanks. It's not much yet, but-"

The character on her paper is a seal, small and round, with dark eyes and a happy puppy face. At the edges of the sheet are more drawings- one has the seal in a wetsuit; another puts it in diver fins and a snorkel.

"I wanted to experiment around," Nya says. "I think I like the wetsuit one the best."

"That one's cute," Jay agrees.

From Nya's right side comes a groan. "Will you two keep it down?" Kai complains. "Some of us are trying to work here."

"Some of us are trying to work here too, but we can't," Jay sends back. Not one of his best comebacks, but it's to Kai. "I've got brain blockage and Nya's helping me out."

Kai glances over and sees what they're doing. He perks up. "Oh, are we sharing?" He sits up straighter and drums his fingers on the table. "Hey, guys! We're sharing!"

"Oh, good!" says Cole. "I wanted your feedback on something."

"Me too," says Zane.

Jay narrows his eyes at both of them. "This right now?" he says. "This is about me. Not you."

Cole waves his hand. "Of course, of course."

The way he says it has Jay hhmphing, but they both turn their focus to Kai as the fire ninja loudly demands their attention.

Kai has created what appears to be a horse, except that it has a few too many legs, a creepy tongue drooling out of its face, and horns. So it's actually not like a horse at all. Somehow it's both angular and blobby at the same time. Ah, the dualities of Art.

"I thought we were supposed to be making these marketable," Zane says with a tilt of his head.

"This is marketable!" Kai protests. "Kids are like, bonkers for dragons."

Ah, so that's what the blob is, Jay thinks. "Bonkers?" he snickers aloud. "What are you, seventy? Did you try cuckoo too? What about nutty?"

"Bananas," Lloyd pipes up. "Gaga. Buggy."

"Okay, okay, we get it," Kai grumbles. "You like to talk."

"That wasn't my point at all," Jay says, but he concedes it. He does like to talk, after all.

"Why does it have six legs?" asks Nya.

"Those are its wings," Kai sniffs.

Nya bursts out laughing, slapping her hand on her knee, eyes closed into crescents. "Hey!" Kai shouts, shoving her from her chair. "You know that drawing's not my real talent."

"Oh, we know," Cole says under his breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!" Cole grins. "I'll go next." He flicks back a page or two. "So I originally wanted to do a bear, because bears are cool and they're the deadliest animal on the planet."

"I'm pretty sure you meant to say 'shark'," Nya says.

"I'm pretty sure I said what I meant to say," Cole snips back. He returns his attention to his drawing board. "But bears are too overdone in this day and age."

Jay can't even make fun of him for saying 'this day and age' like some grandma because he's too busy currently gaping at the art on Cole's board.

The character on Cole's paper is definitely not a bear.

"Bears are overdone," Cole says. "So I thought, why not make a narwhal?"

"How on earth," Jay asks faintly, "did you make the jump from bear to narwhal?"

Cole shrugs. "It made sense at the time."

"What's a narwhal?" Lloyd asks. His marker is flying a mile a minute across his sketch pad and his eyes never leave the page.

"It's a unicorn fish," Jay says, turning a disbelieving eye back to the earth ninja. Cole just grins. "A unicorn fish that no one cares about. What happened to giving me inspiration?" he demands. "You've just killed any ideas I might have had!"

Cole pouts.

"I, for one, think it's adorable!" Nya's come up behind Cole now and is peering at his sketch pad. Hearing her words, Cole brightens. "Does it have a name?"

"I was thinking Gnarly."

Nya nods sagely. "That's uber-rad, bro."

Bring Me to Life is playing on a psychedelic loop inside Jay's head. Wake me up inside, wails the lead vocalist, but Jay can't wake up (save me).

"Am I the only one taking this seriously?" he whines. "Guys. This is like, our legacy."

"I'm pretty sure our legacy is saving the city," Kai drawls, "not whatever these characters will be."

"Our legacy," Jay emphasizes. "Don't you realize how cool this is? How many people get to say they have their own cartoon character?"

Cole shrugs. "Exactly. That's why I'm having fun with it. Hey, do you think that Gnarly would look good with a monocle?"

"I'm taking it seriously," Lloyd says. "Look at mine."

"Gnarly would look absolutely dapper in a monocle, how could you even ask that."

"How big is he?" asks Zane. "That would have to be one big piece of glass."

"Hey, guys."

"Ooh, you should give him a mohawk."

"A mohawk? He's a fish! Fish don't have hair!"

"I'm pretty sure it's a mammal, actually."

An explosion rockets the left side of the room. Jay startles so badly he almost falls out of his chair. His eyes dart around for the threat, only to lock eyes with a smirking Lloyd. A smirking Lloyd who still has his fist raised, faint wisps of smoke rising from his fingers.

Jay lets out an inhuman shriek. It's a wonder that no one's come in to check on them, honestly. "Lloyd!"

"What?" Lloyd grins. "You weren't paying attention to me."

"We've raised a brat," Cole says. "An absolute menace."

Lloyd's grin intensifies. "As I was saying…"

He spins his board around with all the pomp and circumstance of a ten-year-old who learned how to act through daytime television. Somehow, despite them only having been given black sharpie markers to draw with, Lloyd has colored his character in with crayon. It's a shockingly detailed goat-creature. Its fur has been colored a mint green, and it's wearing a golden sweater with dragons crossing the sides.

It looks like it was ripped from the pages of an actual comic book.

"Woah!" Kai says, launching himself across the table and sending no less than three markers flying as he goes in for a closer look. "That's awesome, Lloyd!" He beams at the younger ninja. "What is it?"

Nya scoffs. "Obviously it's an alpaca, you dolt."

"It's a yak," Cole says.

Jay makes a disagreeing noise. "No, I'm pretty sure it's a goat."

"Guys," Lloyd says, looking extremely disappointed in all of them, "it's a llama."

They sit in silence for a moment.

"Ooh," Jay says. "Alright. That makes a bit more sense."

"Is it my turn?" Zane asks. Unlike some other members whose names shall not be mentioned, he waits until their attention is on him before starting. "I put a lot of thought into this character."

He turns around his paper. Jay chokes on his water. Tears stream from his eyes and he's coughing, but when he wipes them away the picture stays the same.

In the middle of the page, in the glorious high definition only a nindroid could hope to achieve, is a shark that looks like it came right out of some Super Bowl halftime slot. Its eyes are vacant. Its mouth is open in an agonized scream. It's standing in a starfish pose, legs in lieu of a tail.

"My character is a shark," Zane says, as if it needed any explanation.

Everyone stops and looks at him. Zane's the picture of earnestness, eyes wide and unguarded. At this exact moment, he looks like a five-year-old presenting some horrific drawing to its mother. As the silence stretches on, his face falls. "Is it not on target enough? I know we were supposed to be making something related to our element, but there are not that many snow creatures."

The group glances at each other, expressions veering towards the panicked side. By some unspoken agreement, they all reach the same conclusion.

"Oh, no!" says Nya. "We were all just surprised by how good you draw."

"It's a great shark, Zane," Cole says, tone a bit forced. The expression in his eyes doesn't match the grin on his face.

"Yeah," Jay says lamely. "I like how- how blue it is."

Zane beams.

"It looks like you're well on your way!" says a new voice. It's the head artist, coming back into the room. She looks around approvingly at the studio of chaos. "Well done. I knew I heard the sounds of productivity in here."

Apparently productivity sounds like random explosions and screaming now. That's- honestly not that far off the mark, considering that Jay's a literal ninja for his job.

"The next step, if you haven't already," says the artist, "will be coming up with names." Cole high-fives Nya. "I'll be back in a bit to check on you again!"

The room descends into voices once again as she leaves.

"I need a cool name for my dragon," Kai says immediately. "There's got to be a way to combine my name with it, right?"

"Kragon," Cole suggests. "Drakai."

Kai wrinkles his nose. "Kragon? Like that weirdo from the LEGO line?"

"No, you're thinking of Cragger," Lloyd says. "Kragon is that magical crystal thing Jedi use."

Jay rolls his eyes. "No, that's a kyber. Didn't I raise you better than this? Kragon is that website that people sell stuff on."

"No, that's Craigslist."

"Whatever it is," Kai interrupts, "I don't like it. So you nerds can all drop it now."

"I think I'll call mine Neela," Nya says.

Cole glances at her sketchpad and makes a noise of approval. "Neela and Gnarly," he says. "Hey! Ours could be best friends!"

"You're already coming up with backstory?" Jay protests. "I haven't even started my character!"

"Well stop whining and just make one!" Cole says, exasperated.

Jay pouts. At the other end of the table, Lloyd's cackling up a storm as he writes name after name down the side of his paper. Jay leans over to see: his favorites seem to be Llod, Llyod, and Floyd judging on the circles he's made around them.

Jay sighs and leans back in his seat. Nya's abandoned her spot beside him to go brainstorm with Cole, and Kai's still tossing ideas out to the group even though no one's listening to him.

"Ooh, what about Kaitron?"

"That just sounds like a robot," Jay complains. Inspiration cuts through the cloud of his mind like a knife. "That's it!"

The entire room stops and stares at him. Seeing that he's just stood abruptly and slammed his sketch pad against the table, Jay can't blame them. "Kai," he says, "you're a genius." As quickly as he stood he's seated again, turning over a new page and beginning to sketch.

"I'm a what?" Kai asks, somewhere in the background.

Jay outlines a triangular shape. Then a body with one big wheel instead of legs. He fills up his page with sketches, mind vomiting up ideas faster than he can put them on paper. Yes. Yes! This was exactly what he wanted!

"Everyone!" he says- practically demands their attention. He rips the top sheet off his sketchpad with a flourish. "Meet NJ, your friendly little shapeshifting robot friend! The double emphasis on friendliness means that it's full of love."

"Shapeshifting?" Lloyd asks. "Woah, that's neat!"

Jay nods, grinning. "He can turn into anything, as long as it's non-organic." He points out some sketches of NJ as a toaster, as a spy drone, as an umbrella.

"That's- actually a cool idea, Jay," Cole says. "I like it!"

"Hey!" Jay protests. "Are you telling me that all my other ideas aren't cool?"

Cole grins. "You said it first," he points out.

"Kriff!" shouts Kai. For a second Jay thinks the fire ninja is swearing, but it turns out he's talking to his dragon. "Perfect name. Done."

The head artist chooses this moment to re-enter the room. She beams when she sees all their sketchpads laid out. "Looking good, everyone! Do you all have designs now?" They nod. "Great. Well, our next step will be for each of you working with our on-location artists to better flesh out your concepts. Oh, and then backstories!" She grins. "I'll go call them in."

She leaves. Kai stares at his paper. "I hope my artist likes challenges," he finally says.

#ninjago #ninjago fic #ninjago fanfic #based on the making of bt21 videos #this is so chaotic

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kaypeace21 · 5 years ago

Note

do you think brenner and will are gonna run into each other this season?

100% , I can give a short summary of why I think this, though…

The St prequel novel ‘suspicious Minds’:

Brenner : “We have a few more young patients transferring here for a related program, but I’d like a range of ages. There is every reason to believe that a combination of chemical psychedelics and the right inducements can unlock the secrets we need.”

- “Then there was Brenner’s use of the word “cocktail.” What exactly was in the Hawkins special acid blend? “Who has the medical cocktail?”

-”She nodded and handed the glass back, smoothing soaked hair away from a cheek shiny with moisture. Tears and sweat both. Extremely susceptible to the drug cocktail.”

*cough* Will’s comic*

His name is Martin Brenner- the comic draws Will with a ‘cocktail’/martini… thanks I hate it -_-

S1 Newspaper/outside inspirations

The s1 newspaper (which changed in text for s2) states “The former missing child Will Byers has been found after a week of searching. He is presently in stable condition in Hawkins General Hospital. Byers’ mother, Joyce Byers, alleges Will was the subject of a secret government program run by the Hawkins National Laboratory. The allegation comes amidst a massive investigation into the hidden organization and its elaborate experimentations in perusal of mind control (*cough Mkultra).The abuse detailed in the first report includes prolonged physical duress and psychological interrogation. This government sanctioned torture …”

The book referenced in Will’s comic (which Will threw at the demogorgan) “house of stairs” - will probably inspire some of s5.

It’s about a government run program that utilizes “psychological conditioning and torture” of kidnapped teenagers in the pursuit to turn them into government spies/assassins, Mkultra in real life (referenced in the show) used ALL forms of abuse to “to manipulate people’s mental states and alter brain functions”. And the Duffers said they were also inspired by Montauk Project (the original title of the show) which was a conspiracy theory about scientists who would “break” psychic children psychologically so that they could implant subconscious commands. Plus in the prequel novel “suspicious minds” Terry along with other adults (who are not numbers!) were literally tortured to bring their powers out to turn them into weapons-but its implied that adultsprobably yield less powerful results than children. SO… given those 4 CANNON references…s5 is going to be ROUGH.

12 symbolism

In the show 11s (in relation to El), 8s ( for Kali), and 12 come up a lot . Like when Will is recording Mike on his camera.

84- (8+4=12), 8:04 (8+0+4=12) and of course oct 31 (10+3-1=12). And (12+12-12=12)

The cannon card set (and the actor that play Brenner) also hints Will, will become 12, Yes, it’s true that Max, Dustin, Lucas, and Mike all have this dye roll on 12 as well. However, Will, unlike those characters- has had the act of rolling dice foreshadow huge (dangerous) events that will specifically affect him. “ It was a 7,the demogorgan it got me.” So essentially the card is Will saying “I’m 12, Dr. Brenner he got me.”

Also the scientists suspected Will had powers since s1 ep 2- but they are simply observing him, to confirm their suspicions that he created the monsters- before they make him a number/ weapon.

*cough and other on the nose foreshadowing

#will byers #dr brenner #stranger things #stranger things theory

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jooneggs · 5 years ago

Text

The Star From Santa | Jin ⭐

⤑ Pairing: Jin x Reader ⤑ SUMMARY: Christmas in the city just isn’t the same. Especially when your harboring a longing for the mysterious man who made you adore the night sky just months ago ⤑ Genre: Fluffy | Angsty | And a lil’ bit Smutty ⤑ Warnings: Swearing, Homesick and Sad y/n, Drinking, Sexual Tension, Oral (f)) Receiving, Nipple Play (f), Kim Cuddles ⤑ Word count: 7.7k

A/N: This is my first ever BTS fic, and first time to ever participate in an online writing project. I was a Secret Santa for @bloodpotato, and i couldn’t be more thankful. It was such a pleasure to get to know more about you as a person and a writer; you really are a sweetheart. I will always be reminded of your answer regarding star-gazing and cloud-watching as it has reminded me of how lucky i am to live in a place where i can watch the sky in the countryside whenever i'd like to. I also, as someone from England, learnt a lot more about Christmas down under *whoop whoop*! I really hope you enjoy this one shot and have a beautiful Christmas, love Roxy.

Also a quick thank you to the honey’s at BTS Writers Collective for having me as a member of their Network and for organizing this project with many other writers, i had a lot of fun 💜

This definitely didn’t count as the first time you felt you were literally drowning in coffee.

It was only 6am and you had already found yourself crawling out of bed to your desk to slave over work with your partner in crime, caffeine. The feeling it gave you was warmth, but all around you was evidence of yet another year of Christmas’ return. A small pine tree suffocating in tinsel lent broadly on your windowsill, whilst the streets below seemed to glow with spirit.

If it weren’t for your non-stop schedule, you would have stopped for an hour or two at your window and become completely entranced in the flow of rosy-cheeked shoppers and lights. You liked the lights the most, but staring at them for too long could almost pierce the veil that you were really happy with the way things were currently going.

Although it felt like a millennia, it was just two months ago that you had started working as a sales assistant for a local retail store that just needed extra staff to cover Christmas time. Things had been rough since moving away, you guessed, and had immediately tried to soften the blow by pre-occupying yourself.

You had tried a convenience store which fell through when you tried to confront some obvious thieves against your managers wishes. You had then attempted to work in a jewelers, before being dismissed for being too friendly to the customers, almost ‘befriending every single one’ as your manager put it. That kind, outgoing streak in you seemed like your ultimate downfall, before you finally found yourself as a sales assistant with things looking-up as the senior staff seemed to cherish the youthful spark within you. And you quite enjoyed working there, spreading your knowledge and learning things about each customer as-well; it felt a bit like life had just softened all the blows and gave you a hearty pat on the back.

Of course the pain from moving didn’t just disappear. You supposed it was time that almost bandaged that wound. Yes, you’d call it a ‘wound’..maybe now a scar. That’s what moving away from your hometown in New Zealand felt like to you. No one can deny that childhood heavily influences the entire spectrum of a human, so it felt safe to say that the countryside had forever bred a love for monotony and peace inside of yourself. Walking to work each day, you seemed surrounded by noise: the sound of cars, the small violence of neon shop lights and the constant buzz of conversation. This was not the same a few years ago before you moved. Out in the sticks, things flowed with a calm intensity: everything felt as one. It just felt more bearable to work, live and breath.

Each evening you’d find yourself re-cooping under the nearest loose-leaf shaded tree or patch of grass near your house, a book and pencil in your hand, or sometimes just you and your thoughts. During that time, you’d worked in a bakery next to your house. It was a small village near a beach, and you found it easy to navigate yourself between neighbors and small shops. Most fondly, when thinking back to your home, you’d remind yourself of the field closest to the bakery. It seemed like only yesterday you were smuggling rolls from failed batches into your backpack to enjoy during your lunch break. You felt like The Famous Five itself (except from it was just solitary you) buttering bread rolls in a quiet field, attempting to converse with nature herself. The blades of grass, the dopey little flowers that seemed to smile back at you, and the sky..

The sky..the clear sky was the best. It seemed to clear any worries you’d had that day.

And then, of course, there was 'him’..

The city smog here would often shadow the stars, leaving you feeling like the only entity on this earth. Couple that with the fear of you spending another year without visiting back home to see actual stars and experience undeviating peace; you felt completely fucked over.

A sudden shrill sound of trucks passing blared through the window, pulling you from your thinking. You shook what felt like dust-mites from your hair. Staring around absentmindedly, you noticed you’d unconsciously downed all the coffee from your mug.

“Ah..this isn’t any good.” You belched, almost fully deflating in your chair. The desk below you felt littered in paperwork from work. You’d recently been given overtime. ‘Overtime’ meaning absurd hours into the holidays where all you felt like doing was kicking your feet up and watching something you love. That, at this point however, felt extremely optimistic as you now had just a day before the deadline to file through papers you hadn’t chance to finish in your last shift.

“Bags feel heavy..” You murmured “My eye bags feel heaaavy..”

You filed through the sheets below you, all the blanks needing to be filled in were more than obvious to your eyesight. What was all this for anyway? You vaguely remember sitting through a precarious training session at work that answered the above question, but you also vaguely remembered it going right over your head. At this point, you wished you could just spend your days glued to a window, just observing and doing nothing at all.

Thumbing at the sheets, the nerve to refill on coffee shook your senses, bringing you to your feet. The large mug hanging from your hand paled in comparison to the weight you felt was dragging down on your small frame. You hoped a nice drink and the process of walking a few meters would give you some air.

You unlocked your bedroom door, always cautious to remain private, and stepped out onto the corridor to reach the kitchen. Moving closer, the sound of traffic from your room faded, and your roommates jovial humming filled the space. Stepping into the doorway, it felt like you had walked into some kind of psychedelic grotto, as your roommate could not be heard humming notable Christmas tunes. Dangling on a wooden dining chair, she seemed tempted to cover your Christmas tree in as many colors and designs as possible. Ornamental hot-dogs, cats, rainbows, teddies and doughnuts hung on each branch, almost screaming out to the entire world to be paid attention to. Moving closer to inspect the madness of the tree, you felt surprised that your roommate didn’t feel confident enough with this bright display to proclaim it to the entire block of flats.

“Ah Toya, you’re nuts!” You exclaimed.

“You could say that..” She laughed, halting her humming and stepping clumsily from the chair to seat herself opposite yourself.

“You’re literally, a complete Christmas cracker!”

“Well..” She said, pondering her own work “I think it definitely makes a statement.”

That’s for sure, you thought. Gazing at the Christmas tree, you seemed to spot every single element of her glistening in the tinsel. Around the room, you noticed so much of her work; not just the decorations, but the tidiness. You felt like you had been locked away in your room for days, simply apparating to and from your bedroom to your job. Looking at all of this only made that feeling more seated in your stomach as you realized just how much you’d missed socializing with your roommate.

“Y/N” Toya said, standing up and gently patting your shoulder, moving you out of your thoughts “Hey, I need to speak to you about - “

“Do you think i need to stop drinking coffee?” You blurted “Sorry - I mean..i’m struggling a bit with my work and it seems to help but I've been in my room a lot now and I feel bad about being away from you and just not being this crazy socialite that I usually am.”

“Judging from the length of that sentence, I think you’ve probably had enough caffeine for today.”

“I - “

“Why don’t you sit down so i can have a word with you regarding - “

“Hold on a second Toya. Sorry, i just want to get myself one more cup, then i’ll ration myself on water for the rest of the day, k’ay?” With that, you hustled over to the kitchen worktop and began to make another brew for yourself that was gonna be a lot more than just small.

With the coffee jar in the base of your hand, and its granules filing their way into your mug, you felt Toya’s eyes searching yours from the other side of the room. Things had hushed since you denounced your second coffee escapade for the day, and you suspected she wasn’t too happy with the way you were acting; you weren’t too happy with the way you’d been acting yourself.

Whenever Toya felt a led of resentment towards your behavior, she’d do this - just stop talking and confront you with her eyes. At this point in your friendship, you could tell instantly when it was going to happen. It was her silent way of judging, but acknowledging you at the same time.

When you’d left home and took up your first job in the city, you’d met Toya: hiding in the nooks of a storage room at your convenience store, rummaging through boxes of candy to deliver, a lollipop in her mouth. You were the cashier and she was the local delivery driver who scooted her way around the neighborhood each week, running errands with a smile on her face. That contagious smile brought out the socialite within you, and three months later you looked at Toya as a friend, and a roommate.

You suspected she’d seen your downward spiral, and so her staring had become more frequent recently. This was, inevitably, a game of cat and mouse..and soon she would end up catching right onto you..the cat who got the cream. It was only the fact that she cared about you, and the fact that you wouldn’t open up to her that made her once vocal attempts turn to silent, vicious calls to action.

But you were scared to say anything really. Your innocence, your childhood, your hometown was this fragile thing stored deep within you.

Not only that, but how would you be able to tell her about ‘him’?..it all just felt easier to avoid.

“Ah shit, i guess that’s the last of the coffee granules..” you grumbled, letting the coffee jar go empty and your mug liquid black. You screwed the lid back on with applied tension and began to move toward the door with your beverage, letting Toya’s eyes follow you.

“It’s not about you moving away, is it?” She chimed.

“..What?”

“Well..you are hurt because you’ve moved all of a sudden and its a big change, right? But that’s not just it? That’s not the main reason.”

“I need to get this paperwork done, I'm sorry.” You felt frozen, attempting to walk back to your room and away from her despite your body desperately telling you to turn back and be honest. It wasn’t entirely the truth and - hell you knew that, you’d told yourself this every day - but you couldn’t just tell Toya everything. You couldn’t even say ‘his’ name. You decided that you would never bring him up unless he made himself visible to you. On that note, you felt your bedroom door close behind you and the world fall away a little bit as your mug met the desk and your back met your chair.

Thinking like this was a dilemma; The definition of its adjective: using thought or rational judgement, seemed to contradict every illogical and irrational thing running through your mind right now. This was the whole reason why sticking to bed, caffeine and staring out of windows made life much easier for you, it disabled you from thinking like this and simply focusing on the task at hand, even if that task was lying in bed. Of course you knew it contradicted everything you were and loved back in the countryside, but like animals adapt to changing habitats, you had simply adjusted to compete with the concept of living in a state of constant sensory overload.

Okay. Think straight. Put your coffee down - yes, leave it, no drinking. What was the best thing to do now? Tugging your phone from your pocket, you realized only an hour had passed..and you had a whole day to complete this work. I mean, it was only 7am, sleep didn’t seem entirely unjustified..

-------------------------------------------

“Good morning, your listening to The Edge Radio Station, Auckland. The summer holidays truly are out and were getting on our festive gear with some of your favorite Christmas Classics. -”

It was the distant thrum of the radio that brought you out of your sleep; that, and the fact you felt you were jolting around at 50/mph. It wasn’t long before the far off hope for more sleep suddenly made you realize you weren’t sitting at your desk; at least the constant movement of your body didn’t make it feel like that.

A quick panorama was all it took to bring you to your senses. You were in a car seat, your legs twisted horizontally, thumping against the chair. Your hands wriggled in your lap, and you felt the slight sensation of drool pooling down your jaw. Lazily wiping your mouth you peered out to your right. Toya sat in the seat next to you, slouched in the backrest, casually orienteering the steering wheel. Her black hair was slightly muzzled, a habit in the midst of her frustration, her clothes exactly the same as the ones she wore this morning. With the placid look on her face, you wondered what had led her to placing you in her car and spontaneously driving off. A distant memory of her wanting a ‘word’ with you floated around in your mind bringing you to the conclusion that this was what the ‘word’ was going to be: a trip somewhere that was probably foreign to you.

So where were you headed? What urgency required you to drop all work and all plans on Christmas Eve to be dragged unconscious into a car and driven away by your roommate? The fear of missing deadlines and skipping work fizzled in your stomach, wondering how you’d ever explain this to your manager, your colleagues and a more than disappointed set of parents.

“Ah so your awake?” Toya said, turning slightly toward you.

“What have you done now? I need an entire explanation.” You replied, sitting up straight, letting your hands cling to the dashboard.

“What have you been doing with yourself y/n? I’ve shook my hair up in frustration because of you, you’ve let yourself slip.”

“I’ve been slipping since i first took that job at that fucking convenience store..”

“Right, and i thought..” She paused, scratching her head “I thought that you’d only get worse spending Christmas cooped up in our flat with just my crazy ass to keep you company. I mean, i know i’m not much help, but you’re so private you don’t tell me anything, you just crack jokes. And i was trying to speak to you earlier, to tell you i wanted to take you somewhere. I didn’t want it to have to get to the point where it feels like i’m kidnapping you because you value coffee over important conversations.”

You mumbled an incoherent ‘yeah’ in response.

“So I guess now is the time I reveal to you what i’m doing..”

With an exhale, she loosened her grip on the wheel and grabbed your hand. Eyes still on the road ahead of her, the unexpected touch helped to bridge your barriers and relax you ever so slightly.

“I’m taking you back to your hometown y/n. I thought you could spend Christmas Eve there with me or just by yourself, then on Christmas Day you could go to your parents..i mean, I've contacted them and everything.”

It felt like an electric bolt had run through you “What? What?!”

“You needed to get out for a bit, I had to do this.”

“But Toya, what about my work and everything. I purposely locked myself away because I couldn't go out, I just couldn’t make the time.” You felt yourself gasping and all of a sudden the familiarity of the scenery washed over you.

It was the red budded trees you instantly recognized, standing tall by the roadside in little colonies, their wide branches leaning out to you. Metrosideros Excelsa, the epitome of Christmas and the most precious thing about the season to you was, all of a sudden, everywhere. They were evergreen plants, with beautiful fluffy red flowers, topped with yellow buds. On Christmas Eve and New Year’s, you’d go the short distance to the beach with your family and shelter yourself under one, watching the sunset and the tide slowly pour in. At night, the tree would turn a burgundy red, its branches whistling in the gentle wind. It was custom each year to witness fireworks on the beach, go swimming or attend a village barbecue to reflect on the seasons.

But how could you enjoy these things once again with the thought of progress on your mind, with the looming fear of disappointment from your peers creeping over you?

“It’s okay y/n, I've sorted everything out, absolutely everything.” Toya chimed, a smirk running along her lips, her hand squeezing yours “I spoke to your manager last night, and told him about your situation. You know how proud they are of you and how much of an asset you are to the company, as much as you want to deny it. Anyway, he was very sympathetic and took it as a debt to you to give you a week off as ‘sick pay’ on account of poor mental well-being. Mam and Paps know part of your situation as well and they can’t wait to have you over for Christmas Dinner; they were practically vibrating with excitement down the phone line when I rang them this morning.

You felt dumbfounded “I don’t know how to thank you enough Toya.”

Her hand moved back to the steering wheel, the surroundings becoming ever more familiar and comforting “You don’t have to thank me. Go and enjoy yourself for a bit.”

-------------------------------------------

It was a small parking bay at the edge of the village farm that you stopped at. you nervously shrugged off your seat belt and stood out in the warm air as everything washed over you. As calm as the nearby sea, it felt you had never really left, like you could just let the past few years fall from your memory.

“Do you need some alone time?” Toya murmured, standing in the distance like a silent spectator.

“Yeah..i think so. Is that alright?”

“You do what feels right, honey-bun, just meet me at the local bar if you feel a bit lonely.”

With a nod in her direction, she hugged the small of your waist and galloped off into the distance. You were left like a little stick figure in a vast, desolate space and it felt absolutely liberating. Just what would you do now?

Your feet, almost unknowingly, led you away from the small farm field and onto a narrow lane ahead of you. You were reminded that this was the lane you used to take to work, and the lane you would take home afterward; it was like the main passageway for all your old country escapades as a child. Although small, and sometimes tenebrous in the evening, it brought you many memories of daydreams you’d had walking after a long day, or all the little melodies you’d made up occupying your journey home after school. Today, the path was brightly lit in the early afternoon. your shoes felt light skidding across the dry gravel. You supposed you’d take this time alone to reminisce and re-live. Time didn’t have to be this constricting and bewildering thing - you could take its reigns and shape the next few hours alone how you wanted to.

Making your way along the bushes, you stopped at the first turning: the small rickety lane to the bakery. it spoke to you, and you stepped onto its stones, your toes curling in your shoes as you meandered up and down its bumpy body. It wasn’t long before you arrived at the small shop and its fields that stretched miles ahead. You thought it wouldn’t be a silly idea to pop in and grab something like a cheese roll to savour out on the grass in the thick heat. Almost skipping down the path, you made your way through the wooden doors of the bakery, hearing a distant bell chime of a new customer and immediately made your way to the cashier.

Before you knew it, you were walking over to a patch of empty field with a slightly soggy bag filled with two cheese rolls. Unfortunately, at the bakery, you didn’t recognize anyone. You had hoped that with the joy of its scenery, all of your old colleagues would still be there, including its most pretentious and unforgettable one, that guy you found it painful to say the name of.

But like life had made a new path for you to become a ‘city girl’, so it seems it had for the rest of your old friends at the store. Certainly life, in all its modern and progressive grandiose, didn’t wait for any poor kid to catch-up. You could definitely attest to that statement.

Your cheese roll tasted just as good as ever, its gooey innards melting onto your tongue, warming you up even more than before. You bit into its dough again and again, ravishing the flavour as if it were a particularly fond memory. Part of it really was a memory. Working at the bakery, you would eat these little guys all the time; biting into it really took you back to a time where you didn’t have to worry about the future or the scary word that was ‘responsibility’. Maybe downing this cheese so carelessly really would transport you back in time.

In the meantime, you just watched the clouds. Unlike back at your apartment, where the majority of cloud watching came from gluing yourself to a window on the fourth floor of a city skyscraper, this felt much more holistic, almost as if you could touch the clouds. The sky, free from pollution, was extremely vibrant, forming itself like a little dome encapsulating the village.

*rustle*

The sound of grass being trampled on disrupted you from your thinking. You turned back to locate the sound and spotted a figure in the distance. Mid-bite of your cheese roll, you swallowed thickly and attempted to identify the person. To your luck it was a boy: tall, dark hair..broad shoulders..

Shit..it was Jin

Immediately, you turned away, praying by some divine intervention that you would disappear into the blades of grass and become entirely invisible. Maybe if I lean forward a bit, or hide my hands in my jacket and let it swallow me i won’t be noticed. You were terrified that with every passing second your presence would become more clear to him and eventually you’d feel his breath upon your neck..

..Which is just what you so happened to feel after that thought dawned over you.

“Long time no see, y/n.” You felt a deep, sentimental voice speak from over your shoulder.

“Jin..hi.” You whispered, briefly turning to watch him sit next to you, palms and legs outstretched.

Jin, in two words, was devastatingly handsome. Among the green grass dunes, his white shirt and slack jeans were incredibly vibrant. His broad shoulders stretched his shirt, showing a defined caramel collarbone and his dark intimate eyes seemed to bore into yours. It was hard not to be completely transfixed by his presence. But you knew all too well why you hadn’t uttered his name in the past few years; why you hadn’t even thought of his name. Even Toya had said that leaving this beautiful countryside haven wasn’t the worst thing on your mind, it had been Jin all along.

You supposed it was time, in this confronting scenario, that you replayed the scene itself. It was November 2017, and you had stopped in these fields for the last time before leaving to the city. A backpack full of notepads and pencils shook as you hopped on the bumpy path toward the bakery. It was almost pitch black and your head had felt sore all day from thinking about all the things you’d had to leave behind. I’ll see you very soon old friend, don’t worry - you thought. But it felt easier just to say the words and not so easy to believe in them.

A dip in the hill is where you sat, and is where Jin joined you that night. Surprising you at first, you warmed to his shadow and ended up stargazing with him. You were sure hours and hours had passed before you found yourself opening the door to your home, legs slightly like jelly from the way butterflies flew around your stomach. It hurt leaving Jin even more than leaving your hometown because he was the person that encapsulated it all for you. It was almost like he was a product of everything you had ever loved and missed about your childhood and your home. Even lying with him for a few hours that night, you felt you had found the missing piece.

Of course all of this sounds wonderful and peachy, until you recount the promise he made to stay in touch. And, bam, that was the thing that had hurt you the most - like cupid’s arrow to the spleen - he had never contacted you since.

“Are you cloud watching? Can i join?”

“I guess..” You mumbled, shifting slightly to allow a space between you as you laid on the grass.

You felt his shoulder nudge yours as you sunk into the grass beneath you. Exhaling slightly, you begin to focus on the shapes of the soft white tufts above you, distracting yourself from Jin.

“I work at the bakery now. I always have lunch in these fields; nature is kind to me and what-not.” Jin said

“Right.”

“I guessed you were probably curious as to why you’d find me here..” He rocked gently on one side to face you more, his hair falling over his face. “What brings you here, fair maiden?”

You were reluctant to respond, your focus on the clouds becoming less and less possible “I have a job as a sales assistant, and a roommate to keep me company.”

“It sounds like you’ve really succeeded.” He responded, arms now splayed behind his head.

A silence fell over the field, and you felt ever more uncomfortable. This was your golden opportunity to confront Jin and attempt to clear the metaphorical air.

“Why are you acting like nothing happened Jin?” You waited for a response, but only seemed to hear from the wind as Jin’s eyes glazed over watching the clouds. “You do realize I haven't actually been succeeding all that much in life, right? Things were difficult the moment I left here and - I hate to say it - but you played a big part in that.”

“I’m sorry..”

What?..

“What?! You’re just sorry? Jin, you promised that you’d check on me, that we’d check on each other. I must have looked obsessive because I’d be messaging you every single week and to no reply. It wasn’t like that night was just a one-time thing..we both knew that.”

“I know that I just - I don't know what to say..” His stare was fraught on the sky now, never wavering toward you. The silence was apparent and becoming almost deafening as you attempted to ask him ‘why?’.

“You really just didn’t care did you?”

“I - “

You stumbled onto your feet for purchase, moving back from him “You don’t know how long I've wanted to talk to you and - god, i didn’t want it to be like this Jin..but I'm hurting.”

“I’m sorry, I'm struggling to explain myself. I’m not easy when it comes to these things but I didn't just ignore you, i swear.”

At this point you were deafened by silence and seeing a tinged red in your vision. Getting these emotions out was a rarity and everything had just poured out, leaving you almost devoid of feeling. What more could you say to him without making things even worse? You needed to be rational and the best way to do that was to walk away from the situation.

“I’m sorry - I just want to sort things out.” He pleaded again but to no avail. Sandwiched between clenched teeth you simply sighed before walking away, his broad figure wavering, so fragile and volatile. Walking away from Jin would stop him from breaking.

Continuing to remain as rational as possible, you made your way back through the tight-squeeze lane and toward the car park. There, in the opposite direction, would be a road that led to the local bar. There, you hoped you would find a sober Toya to spill your guts to about what had just happened.

-------------------------------------------

Your hopes came true; when you arrived at the lane leading to the small bar, there she was outside, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She looked surprised when she saw you stumble towards her, attempting to remain calm, but seeming to fail miserably. It wasn’t long before her cigarette butt was on the floor and she was pulling you into the building to get you a seat.

“What have you gone and done now? You’re meant to be enjoying yourself..” She sighed as she pulled out a bar stool for you and ordered a pint of sparkling water.

Before long, you had explained everything to her. You were less worried about how fast everything had come out of your mouth, and more relieved that you’d just opened up to someone close to you. Toya had sat still the entire time, silent and supportive. You could tell, behind her eyes, that she was surprised that you were being this honest with her - it was nice.

“Goodness y/n..i completely understand where you're coming from.” She tilted her glass toward her mouth, speaking in muffles “But I'm sure Jin didn’t mean it. I remember when we first moved in together and how eager you were to tell me about him. You don’t have to know someone for years to be able to pick out their core personality traits, and it's obvious that Jin was never good at expressing his true feelings.”

“But why couldn’t he just be honest with me; I thought I meant at least that much to him.”

“I think deep down you know the answer to that but you don’t want to face it. He’s almost exactly like you y/n, he has this barrier that keeps him from being hurt by others - deep down he’s a really sensitive and giving person..like yourself.”

She broke away from her drink to confront you directly, her eyes piercing yours like Jin’s had earlier. You froze slightly from her look, a feeling falling over you that suggested you’d messed up. Badly.

“I shouldn’t have been so brash, right? Ah, its painful because everything is so beautiful here, and i just wanted to enjoy it all before I was reminded that he existed. I’m sorry Toya.”

“It’s fine, honey-bun. You need to start enjoying yourself here, i see you want to so just let go. And while your at it, learn something you can take back to the city with you and hold close to your heart.”

“You’re right..”

“Not usually.” She laughed “Listen, I saw a poster earlier this afternoon advertising a beach barbecue later today. Do you want to go with me and we can let our hair down together?”

And there was that little weight that suddenly loosened itself “I would love that.”

-------------------------------------------

The sun had fallen down to the shore, and the sky was a caramel yellow by the time Toya and yourself had gotten down to the beach. Just by the incoming tide and a crop of trees was a large crowd of villagers, drinks in hand, dancing to a more relaxing beat of house music. You’d instantly been drawn to this interaction and found yourself - merely 30 minutes later - riding a high after two mixed drinks, buzzing from the bodies around you.

Although it was a more civilized kind of ‘party’, you’d always been prone to perhaps drinking too much for your own good and, at this point, you couldn't care any less. Looking to the side of you, Toya stood close, enjoying her drink. She kept her distance, allowing you to soak in the atmosphere, but remained near just in case you needed her. You liked that; she always seemed to be looking out for your best interests.

At this point, you were just following the rhythm of the bass. In your slightly blurred eyesight, the sky was dropping through a rainbow of colours, taking you through a trip in itself. Losing yourself in the airs iridescence, you could almost forget about the events of earlier today.

“Ladies and gents, were frying the food up now so get your stomachs ready for the best Christmas dinner of your life!” A male voice boomed from over the crowd, a small speaker in his hand to project his voice over the vast lines of people on the beach. You decided to edge closer to the barbecue grill so as not to miss out on the food when it was ready. Pushing past various strangers, politely apologizing, you smelt the aroma of sausages come into your nostrils.

It was then that you spotted Jin, standing behind the grill. On this hot day, he had unbuttoned his shirt and was wearing shorts, now conversing with the chef next to him. You swallowed thickly, not exactly feeling at your best to hold a proper conversation yourself, but feeling the overwhelming need to apologize to him.

In fact, that feeling seemed to completely take over any sense of direction you had, now forcing you to run over to him and sob a pleading ‘sorry’ into his bare chest. He seemed taken aback, pushing against you with some urgency to check you were okay, leaning down to confront you with his eyes. Through a now tear-stained and blurry vision you saw him as he clasped onto your shoulders as if they were magnets.

“Ah Jin i’m s-sorry, i’m so sorry i was such an idiot earlier and I..I don’t k-know if i can make things right.”

He chuckled, breaking you out of your dizziness for a second, “You’ve drunk a bit much haven’t you?”

“Shit..” You hiccuped “Maybe I have..”

“C’mon.” He took your hand, guiding you away from the crowd, “Let’s go somewhere more quiet so I can talk to you.”

-------------------------------------------

Jin had led you five minutes away from the crowd, behind the beach bush and onto a quieter sect of sand surrounded by palm trees. You both stopped, slightly short of breath and stood in silence, taking in the humid air. It was then you looked over to Jin and saw his head raised to the night sky. In the dark, his skin seemed almost luminescent, lit by the very stars above. His hair was tar black, his eyes twinkling. He was extraordinary, and you wondered - for a second - how on earth someone so ethereal could come from such a mundane place.

Above you, the stars glowed once again for another night. Your intoxicated state bubbled with fondness at the balls of light shining overhead. They were so pretty, and it was hard not to become nostalgic as you were reminded of the night you shared with Jin looking at these very same stars. It was almost like you were in the presence of your two favourite things: the night sky, and the man who reminded you of that very same sky. It made you feel even more euphoric than any cup of alcohol possibly could.

As you stood, almost floating with the evening buzz, you felt Jin clasp your hand. His warm fingers curled around yours. You gripped back just as tightly.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Jin said.

“Yeah..it really is.” You breathed “It’s almost like every one of my childhood memories sits in these stars.”

“I get that..”

“It makes me realize how much I miss being away from this beautiful clear sky.”

You wavered on your feet before turning to him. You felt his gaze follow from the stars to you, his breath beginning to settle on your cheek.

“I’m sorry for being pathetic at apologies y/n.” Jin spoke. “I didn’t explain myself earlier, and kind of just pushed the problem away. I shouldn’t have done that, it was an ‘idiot Jin’ move and i’m not an idiot..at least I don't think so.”

“If you’re an idiot, then i guess that makes two of us..”

“Well i don’t want to hide from you how I truly feel. And how I truly feel is..well i’m actually pretty sensitive. I don’t always know how to convey how i’m feeling and often I just bottle it up and use it on wasted energy. Sometimes it's easier not to open yourself up to people.”

Your hand melted into Jin’s, your stare softened “I guess that’s why you didn’t follow me to the city..”

“I wanted to..” He looked down at your feet, eyes not meeting yours “I swear, I would have gone that night if i could. But I - i just felt like a bit of a burden. Like, you wouldn’t want me there.”

“Of course i would you dummy!” You shook his hand, lifting his chin up “Why are you acting shy all of a sudden? I mean, Jin, you’re the king of cocky.”

“You know me too well, cupcake.”

“Cupcake?”

“Yeah..cupcake.” He tested the name out on his mouth as it neared yours “I like the way it sounds on my lips.”

“I like it too..”

“What the name?”

“No..” You mouthed “Your lips.”

Before you knew it, your faces closed the gap in the dark, and his mouth met yours. He was velvety, and soft, and hot. You didn’t want to sound crude, but you’d dreamt of this moment every night since meeting him. You didn’t expect everything to happen so fast once seeing him again, but you weren’t surprised. Since finding each other, almost like a movie, you found this huge spark; since separating you’d felt it everyday, this huge lack of him.

His arm laced around your waist, and he pulled you near to him, walking backwards to rest your back against a nearby tree. Jin pushed his lips harder against yours, your mouths moving in sync, your breathing growing heavier. He was quite intoxicating, the plush feel of him against you driving you crazy.

“I want to do something to make up for earlier. To make up for the past few years away from you.” He gasped, pulling back from the heated kiss, “Let me treat you, cupcake.”

It was then that he began to go down on your body. His lips first pressed against your neck, working against the bottom of your jaw and slowly moving onto your collarbone. He kissed each patch of exposed skin, his tongue swiping against your shoulder blade, making you keen into his touch. He worked inward, sucking tenderly, reaching a spot that made you whine against his neck.

“Ah..” You groaned, letting his mouth work wonders down your figure “This is what you meant..”

He hummed in response, now on his knees in order to move lower to your breasts. With a gentle flick he disregarded the strap of your shirt with his hands, letting your top sit on your waist. Noticing your absence of a bra, he smirked and cupped the swell of your tits with his hands, leaning to suck at your right nipple. His tongue lapped over your chest like a starved man, his other hand teasing your left breast, leaving you almost breathless.

“This is for the first year of our absence.” His words were muffled, and vibrated across your tits as he took your nipple into his mouth again. He sucked gently around your tit, moving his head from your chest with a wet, heated ‘pop’. He reached for your left breast with his mouth, his teeth now scraping against your soft flesh - a silent but raw need in the way he was touching your skin.

Before you could reach for another breath, Jin was moving even further down, his face now reaching a dangerous but starved territory. You mewled into the air, grasping at his silk locks “Jin we’re outside, we’re not far from a crowd full of people..”

“That’s what makes it exciting, cupcake.” He whispered, his voice now four octaves lower, more huskier than ever. Jin’s fingers raked down your hips, slowly resting above your ass, pulling you further into his touch. His hands skirted your shorts, slowly wiggling them down your thighs and to your ankles. You turned your head from him in embarrassment as your pants hit the floor, your legs clamping together like a vice. He gently pried them open, hissing at the sight of you glistening in the dark against the soft wooden bark of the tree behind you. Slowly looking down, you watched him from the hooded slits of your eyes, his lips beginning to press against your womanhood. Tongue now poking at your slit, you moaned as heat fully pooled in your stomach.

He smirked once again between your legs, fingers creeping down, reaching the flesh of your ass and squeezing it gently “This is for the second year of our absence.” He kissed your slit, tongue lapping you up like a meal, “Bon appetit!”

You could all but watch and respond in laboured breaths as he worked at your pussy, his tongue reaching deep inside you, fingers leaving marks against your thighs and backside. You’d never thought you could feel this close to Jin, but you were. He was world: the sky, the stars, your hometown, your Christmas. With his face buried into your heat, mouth working fast and rampant, you became more and more breathless, a knot now beginning to unravel in your stomach.

“Oh Jin..I’m c-close.” Your eyes glistened, mouth scrunching with pleasure as you watched Jin in the depths of your pleasure. He looked up at you, pupils blown out, hair sweaty, and that was all it took for you to be blown over the edge. For what felt like a minute, the sky became a dazzling black, and your body swelled with electricity. In that moment, he worked even faster, even more eager to draw ropes of pleasure from you. You groaned wildly, back pressing against the cold bark as your orgasm peaked, leaving you completely spent.

In an attempt to conserve what little energy you had left in you, you let yourself fall to the sand, back sliding down the tree to lay among the dunes. It wasn’t long before Jin joined you, already on his knees. He moved to your side and wrapped his arm around your back to bring you against his chest. He was warmer than ever and seemed to bubble with energy. It was then you knew you didn’t have to say anything, you could just lay together now, lay like you did the first time you met and it would be fine. So that’s what you did. You snuggled against his chest, letting your eyes fall shut, falling into the night.

-------------------------------------------

“y/n..”

“y/n wake up..”

“y/n..”

“WAKE UP!”

You almost leapt out of your skin at the sound of what seemed seemed to be Toya shouting in your ear. All noise slightly muffled, you rose to your feet, taking in the scenery around you.

You were in a room, cream walls and a cream rug and what appeared to be a kitchen ahead of you. As you turned, you spotted a Christmas tree too, a Christmas Tree with all sorts of odd decorations littered over it. It took you a second, but before long it seemed scarily obvious..you were back home and in your front room with your roommate. How?..

“C’mon sleepy head, I've been trying to wake you up for ages.” Toya laughed, tugging you toward the tree.

“Ah, what?” You yawned, scrambling to your knees to meet Toya on the floor and gasp at all the presents lying underneath the tree.

“Your so forgetful. It’s Christmas!” She pulled a few presents from the tree and moved them toward you, grinning like a fool. “Open them honey-bun.”

You spent the rest of that morning (or was it the evening?) filing through presents. It felt like hours before you stopped, shocked at what Toya and your family had gifted you. You tried to dismiss what felt like a strange lapse in time since Jin and the beach, and slowly began to relax into the festive spirit. You finally came to your last present, toying with the bow like a soppy child, upset that the gifts had eventually came to an end. With reluctance, you lifted the lid and pushed the tissue paper aside to reveal a small box. Lifting its casing, you removed its top and watched as the present inside was slowly revealed to you.

It was a beautiful silver necklace, ribbed and laced with gold embellishments. You twisted it around and swallowed as you were met with a small star trinket dangling from its centre. Who was this from, it had no label?

“Where’s the label?” You asked, turning to Toya for solace.

“Pull out all the tissue in the box, it might be at the bottom, i’m not sure.”

You leant over the box, pulling it back to you so you could remove all its packaging. It was only in the last thread of tissue, that the label was wedged. Pulling it out, you turned it over to read its addressee..

It read:

‘Merry Christmas Cupcake.

From your Star,

J x’

-------------------------------------------

#btswriterscollective #jin x reader #bts #bts fic #seokjin x reader #jin #seokjin #secretsanta2019

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jeremiahgrey · 5 years ago

Text

JEREMIAH GREY ##STATS&BIO

Basic Information

Full Name: jeremiah grey

Nickname(s): jay

Age: twenty-four

Date of Birth: march 23, 1995

Zodiac Sign: aries

Hometown: las vegas, nevada

Current Location: san francisco, california

Ethnicity: his mother is caucasian, his father is african american

Nationality: american

Gender: cis male

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: heterosexual

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: justice smith

Hair Colour: dark brown

Eye Colour: dark brown

Height: 5′10″ (178 cm)

Weight: 149 lbs (68 kg)

Health

Physical Ailments: none

Neurological Conditions: borderline personality disorder

Allergies: none

Sleeping Habits: varies, depending on level of anxiety/current state of mind.

Eating Habits: varies. tends to snack frequently, rather than eat large meals.

Exercise Habits: goes for a run 1-2 times a day.

Emotional Stability: it varies, but overall about a 5 or 6.

Sociability: likes to be alone, or in the company of 1-5 other people. but he doesn’t fear public places or crowds and doesn’t have social anxiety (typically). just a preference.

Addictions: cigarettes, usually stress related.

Drug Use: none that he consumes habitually. he’s experimented with psychedelics and marijuana, but it’s just a once in while type thing.

Alcohol Use: about once or twice a week on average.

Personality

Positive Traits: adaptable, adventurous, amusing, charming, determined, quick witted, resourceful, tough

Negative Traits: detached, finicky, moody, obsessive, quick tempered, stubborn, unstable

Hobbies: swimming, running, conspiracy theories, hiking, visiting abandoned towns/buildings & old cemeteries, people watching

Habits: smoking, whistling, biting the skin around his nails, fiddling with objects or his clothing, tapping his foot

BIO:

TRIGGER WARNINGS: CHILDHOOD ABUSE, SELF HARM & SUICIDE IS BRIEFLY MENTIONED, MENTAL HEALTH

Jeremiah grew up in Las Vegas

His father left him and his mother when Jeremiah was 12. He had been verbally and physically abusive to both of them up until his departure.

The trauma stuck with Jeremiah and later led to him being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

When he was in middle school he would have “episodes” of social and mental withdrawal. They would last a few hours typically, and without the clinical resources to diagnose it, he would always refer to it as being “trapped in himself”

Being trapped meant he was disassociating. He would basically just “blank out.” An inability to focus on one thing, just racing thoughts that he couldn’t keep track of or characterize. Often times he would have to physically escape as well, isolating from other people. A lot of the time he had urges to self harm, or even suicidal fantasies.

His personality for the most part was bubbly and charismatic, he was adventurous and always starting a new hobby or interest. And then he would become “trapped” in his mind.

His inability to characterize his mental illness, and his childhood trauma, culminated in a short temper.

He was suspended from school in his junior year for getting into a fist fight. He was sent to mandatory counseling sessions, where he was formally diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder.

For a few years he faded in and out, never quite having a quick fix or remedy when he felt trapped or angry. And he refused medication, or any forms of continued therapy.

His senior year of school he just couldn’t put up with it anymore. The bouts of aggression, being labelled a freak, the lost sense of loneliness that accompanied being “trapped.”

Every time he’d have an “episode” he would journal. An attempt at collecting and manifesting the racing thoughts. He would smoke a cigarette, hold his breath, count to ten, and write everything he possibly could. Then he would go for a run.

It worked, at least a little bit. It made him feel more in control. A way to cope. And whenever he feels it coming on, he has to get away, and chase that ability of control. He doesn’t always have to write, but he needs to do something. Go to the top of a building and yell his thoughts, or to a creek to throw rocks and count out his feelings. It’s not a one hundred percent fix, and he still has outbursts that mimic rage. But he can clench his fists and disappear and try to deal with it.

He moved to San Francisco when he was twenty one. Just to get out on his own, face the world. His mom had a new boyfriend, someone better than his father. And he felt okay leaving her, finding himself.

Today he’s still the same guy with borderline personality disorder, but it’s not a ghost that unwittingly haunts him. He just lets it happen, redefines it. Yeah, a bit unstable, but he doesn’t fear it anymore. Of course, he still has the traumatic threads of his pasts that still weave into his character from time to time. But he feels more free than he’s ever felt before. He has an apartment, and a job, and a different outlook on his mental health. It doesn’t feel like he’s trapped anymore, it’s just a burst of inward thinking that he can channel into something recognizable and bearable.

Jeremiah works as a delivery guy for the businesses on Carroway Street.

FAST FACTS / HEADCANONS / PERSONALITY:

Goofy and lovable, unless he’s in a “mood.” Sometimes he may seem a bit odd or scatter-brained, jumping from topic to topic in conversation.

Likes memorizing random facts, and sprinkles them in when talking to people. He doesn’t naturally have a very good memory, so he tries to purposefully improve on that.

Often comes up with nicknames for people.

Sometimes he’ll just say some cryptic, vague shit. Something ominous or nonsensical. This is just him thinking out loud usually.

The way he interacts with people is usually pretty vibe based. If someones a dick, he’s a dick. If someones acting tough, he’ll probably try to get under their skin or irritate them a bit. He’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind, and usually the thought of “filtering” himself isn’t even present. It doesn’t feel controversial to him to say some of the things he says. He doesn’t think of himself as bold or brash, but he’s come to learn over his entire lifetime that it’s the reason he’s so often branded as a freak or a weirdo.

ALSO just because he doesn’t “filter” himself in conversations, doesn’t automatically mean he’s an asshole, or saying rude things constantly. A lot of the times he will say stupidly sweet things that the average person would find cringy or awkward to say to another human being so brazenly.

He’s also pretty good at reading people, just he’s not very good at acting accordingly and appropriately?? I guess? Like he can pick up on vibes, but that probably won’t change the fact that he’s gonna say what he’s going to say.

And lastly (I promise this is the end and I’m sorry this got rambly oops) he’s kind of stubborn and can be bossy, like once he gets something in his head like THAT’S IT, he’s doing it and he wants you to do it. And you can call him bull-headed or balky but he’s just going to insist he’s passionate and determined. And it’s probably annoying to the people around him but he doesn’t really care honestly he’ll probably just rant and rave and somehow convince whoever he’s with because he has a sort of cheeky charm about him. but also he’s a pain in the ass sometimes i guess.

PLAYLIST:

coming soon

WANTED PLOTS/CONNECTIONS:

any of these can be platonic or romantic, depending on how we develop them!!!

a friend that he can just “shoot the shit” with. someone who will go on little adventures with and sit in the woods with or sit on the beach with and listen to music. they never pry about his mood swings and they give him space and stuff?

someone who works at jukebox records and doesn’t mind when he loiters around all day and recommends music to him, and sometimes they’ll sit at one of the listening booth things at the store and listen to each others recommendations together.

a drinking/karaoke buddy

someone he met when he first moved to san fran (3 years ago), and maybe he’s told them about his past and his mental illness and his coping mechanisms and they’re good at recognizing the signs and they kinda help him out and let him vent and they’re just supportive and understanding. but also respect when he just needs to be alone or escape, but checks up on him cause < 3 < 3

a neighbor (in his apartment, and im assuming he lives in the calloway apartments i guess) but they started off as enemies kinda? like maybe one of them would blast music and then the other would bang on the walls and be mad and leave little passive aggressive notes telling them to stop being annoying. but maybe the loud music stopped or something?? and then the other person was like “whoa are they okay?” so then they started leaving notes that were caring and supportive and maybe little gifts or knick knacks or food for them, or little scavenger hunts, and then they just kinda started hanging out one day. IDK, this can be discussed more in depth/particular in dm’s i guess. this would be cutesy i feel!!!

an ex girlfriend or ex fwb. but it didn’t work out because they couldn’t really deal with jeremiah’s mood swings or his need to disappear sometimes, and how vague he would be about it. or maybe they suggested he should go to therapy or a support group, and since he is such a stubborn little pain in the butt he just became distant and felt judged and went cold on them. maybe there’s still some lingering feelings there, either positive or negative. we can discuss the particulars in dm!!!

someone with mental health issues, that he met at a support group when he first came to san fran. but jeremiah stopped attending the meetings after only a few. this relationship could be a lot of different things! maybe it’s hostile/confrontational, because they have differing viewpoints on how to treat mental illness. it could be supportive. or maybe it’s like a secret?? like maybe this other person was at the support group for reasons that they’ve never told anyone, and like, jeremiah can be their trusted friend or confidante.

NOTE: if there are any connections that aren’t mentioned here, but you feel like would really suit my muse, please feel free to message me!!!!!! with anything!!!!!!!

#info #jukeboxintro

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gryffindorgazelle · 5 years ago

Photo

Heaving through corrupted lungs

𝖖 𝖚 𝖔 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘

Will the hive survive, will the gladiolas Succeed in banking their fires To enter another year? What will they taste of, the Christmas roses? The bees are flying. They taste the spring - Wintering, Sylvia Plath

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory When’s it gonna get me? In my sleep, seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody? See, I never thought I’d live past twenty Where I come from some get half as many. Ask anybody why we livin’ fast and we laugh, reach for a flask We have to make this moment last, that’s plenty - My Shot, Lin Manuel Miranda

Despite everything, it’s still you. Stay determined. - Undertale

Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere. - J. R. R. Tolkien

𝖇 𝖆 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈

NAME: Dorcas Meadowes NICKNAMES: Cas, Dora AGE: 20 BIRTHDAY: August 17, 1960 GENDER: Female PRONOUNS: she/her

𝖋 𝖆 𝖒 𝖎 𝖑 𝖞

MOTHER: Rachel Meadowes (muggle) (48) FATHER: Alexander Meadowes (wizard) (50) SIBLINGS: Nicholas Meadowes (muggle) (25), Magda Meadowes (witch) (15), Jacob Meadowes (wizard) (12)

𝖕 𝖍 𝖞 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈 𝖆 𝖑 𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖇𝖚𝖙𝖊𝖘

FACE CLAIM: Jessica Sula BUILD: 5’7”, curvy – thick thighs save lives HAIR: Thick and curly HAIR COLOR: Black EYE COLOR: Brown SKIN COLOR: Brown DOMINANT HAND: Right hand ANOMALIES: A few burn marks on her arms from potions gone awry; a crescent moon scar on her left knee from jumping off the roof when she was eight; little nicks on her fingers from prepping potion ingredients SCENT: Dittany, mint, and coffee ACCENT: English – Liverpool area ALLERGIES: Grapefruit, general hay fever DISORDERS: Mild depression, made worse by the state of the world, as well as London’s overcast skies. FASHION: Oversized sweaters tucked into jeans when she’s at home, long robes with slight embellishments when she’s in the wizarding world. Turtlenecks and pinafores, slacks and button ups – Dorcas loves muggle fashion and usually prefers it over robes. NERVOUS TICS: lip biting, tapping her wand against her thigh QUIRKS: when she gets mad, sparks begin to gather between her curls, and she will start to shock the people closest to her

𝖑 𝖎 𝖋 𝖊 𝖘 𝖙 𝖞 𝖑 𝖊

RESIDES: London, England BORN: Liverpool, England RAISED: Liverpool, England PETS: A cat growing up (Marcie) and then an owl for her first year of Hogwarts (Towel – a tawny owl)

CAREER: Healer EXPERIENCE: In training. Third year of five EMPLOYER: St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: The Order of the Phoenix BELIEFS: Everyone deserves a chance – there are some who are beyond redemption, but people can change if they’re given the opportunity. Dorcas grew up in a small town just outside of Liverpool that was a mix of muggles and magical folk and the idea of any sort of discrimination based on blood status never crossed her path until she entered Hogwarts. MISDEMEANORS: None FELONIES: None DRUGS: Has dabbled in psychedelics but doesn’t use anything regularly SMOKES: No ALCOHOL: Yes DIET: Between doing work for the Order and her long shifts at the hospital, Dorcas doesn’t have a lot of time to cook. She’s always got a jar of peanut butter and jam in her pantry and two loaves of bread in the freezer but it’s rare that she has something even close to a full fridge of food. Usually she’ll grab takeout between shifts but there are some days where she’s so busy that food isn’t a thought until she’s falling asleep.

LANGUAGES: English

PHOBIAS: Small spaces, being restrained, things over her head and around her neck HOBBIES: Has a small garden in her room where she grows herbs. Also has a couple trailing plants hanging from her windows. She also collects postcards from every town she visits and displays them on a very crowded cork board. TRAITS: { + }: Protective, loyal, funny, uplifting, determined { - }: Stubborn, quick to anger, melancholic, acts before she thinks

𝖋 𝖆 𝖛 𝖔 𝖗 𝖎 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘

LOCATION: There’s a park that’s about a ten minute walk from the house Dorcas grew up in and off of it is a small hideaway. It’s nothing more than a five foot clearing with a hollowed out tree and a small garden but it was the place Dorcas ran to when she was upset or sad and needed somewhere to release her anger. The city has grown since she left for Hogwarts but the little clearing has somehow remained untouched. SPORTS TEAM: Dorcas doesn’t follow sports – she enjoyed watching the school quidditch games but never followed the sport outside of the house competitions GAME: Exploding Snap MUSIC: Queen, The Beatles MOVIES: The Exorcist, The Omen, any horror movie she can get her hands on FOOD: Donuts BEVERAGE: Lavender tea with honey COLOR: Maroon, Burnt Orange, Bright Yellow

𝖒 𝖆 𝖌 𝖎 𝖈

ALUMNI HOUSE: Gryffindor WAND (length, flexibility, wood, & core): 12 1/3”, limber, spruce, dragon heartstring AMORTENTIA: Eucalyptus, Bonfire on a cold evening, Fresh lilac bushes waving in the breeze PATRONUS: Black Bear BOGGART: A silent baby. Hers. Covered in sores and taking its last breath while she can’t reach it

𝖈 𝖍 𝖆 𝖗 𝖆 𝖈 𝖙 𝖊 𝖗

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good. MBTI: ENFP MBTI ROLE: The Campaigner. ENNEAGRAM: Six ENNEAGRAM ROLE: The Loyalist TEMPERAMENT: Choleric WESTERN ZODIAC: Leo (July 23 – August 22). Known for their exuberance, loyalty, and self confidence. Optimistic, enthusiastic, passionate, and spontaneous. Struggles to quiet down and listen, to take a moment before acting. CHINESE ZODIAC: Rat (Gold). Smart, talented, hot-tempered, jealous, with a strong sense of self-awareness. Rats are quick-witted, resourceful, and smart but lack courage. With rich imaginations and sharp observations, they can take advantage of various opportunities. PRIMAL SIGN: Otter. Clever, feisty, gregarious, likes to be in charge. Doesn’t like to look unintentionally foolish and dislikes living by other people’s rules. TAROT CARD: Strength. A card of bravery and fierceness. Symbolizes an unafraid woman. She is undaunted, indomitable, and steadfast. TV TROPES:

Surprisingly Normal Backstory: Dorcas grew up in a small town just outside of Liverpool, with two loving parents, two brothers, and a sister. Despite the presence of magic, her upbringing was average and she learned how to do things both the magical and non-magical ways. It was when she went off to Hogwarts that her life suddenly began to be turned upside down.

Challenge Seeker: Constantly seeking a challenge, Dorcas is always looking for ways to improve the potions she works with on a daily basis and hone her skills. She will not allow herself to be the weak link in any facet of her life.

Forgets To Eat: Between working at St. Mungo’s and running tasks for the Order, Dorcas often forgets to grab something to eat and doesn’t realise it until she’s snapping somebody’s head off. A lot of her anger issues might not be so volatile if she remembered to eat at least three meals a day.

SONGS:

Marigold – Mother Falcon

Bury all the marigold Underneath the bedroom As you stole two kisses from her lips Tears were shed And morals bled And petals were plucked Something in the heart beat like a drum

She – dodie

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep She tastes like apple juice and peach

Learn to Love – W. Darling

You can stand with a shield at your side Never breaking protecting your pride But you can’t really win if you’ve nothing to lose

Some Nights – fun.

Save that for the black and white I try twice as hard and I’m half as liked

So this is it? I sold my soul for this? Washed my hands of that for this? I miss my mom and dad for this?

Wild Heart – Bleachers

Were we there? Was I brave? To think everything must die For anyone to matter

Eyes Wide Open – Gotye

You just get used to living in fear Or give up when you can’t even picture your future

The Crooked Kind – Radical Face

I heard you say you weren’t born of our blood I know we’re the crooked kind But you’re crooked too

But I smell their blood I hear their voices somewhere in my bones

I know their names I carry their blood too They sing forgotten songs But I know the words They’ve been with me sine I was born

Blank Maps – Cold Specks

When my words head for the clouds Will you have my back? We were good children Darling, let it out

Let Your Heart Hold Fast – Fort Atlantic

To believe I walk alone Is a lie that I’ve been told So let your heart hold fast For this soon shall pass

IDEOLOGIES:

Peanut butter and jam belong on separate pieces of bread

Don’t give the universe a chance to bring your fears to life. Rephrase your thoughts and concerns in a positive way and throw your entire weight behind them. Things will get better, even if it’s only by the sheer strength of your will.

Never waste the opportunity for a good pun.

Always lick the bowl.

Trust your gut instinct. It knows more than you.

Life can be pain but it can also be so much more if you let it. Hold your friends close and don’t let them go – it isn’t blood that makes a family.

#dulcetask #task 001

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