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esotericpluto · 1 year ago

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your life 5 years from now

from left to right; intuitively choose the pile you feel more connected to. To make it easier, you can take a deep breathe, close your eyes and ask for guidance to your deities or guides. These are all general messages, so just take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This reading is timeless. If it resonates, feedback is always appreciated and motivates to keep doing pick a card readings. You can donate here.

dividers credit: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

pile 1

fully intuitive, no cards

I feel like you will have a lot of success in your life, mainly financially. You will be very financially stable and living out your dreams. I see most of you will be in your desired career and learning everyday more about it, advancing in it and adquiring new skills. I see some of you investing money in various ways too, as buying properties, jewels or art pieces. Others might be investing in actions/stocks as well and building a diverse portfolio.

For some people in this group (mainly those who will be 25 plus in 5 years) I'm seeing that you will be building a family too or preparing yourself to build one, however I do advise you to be very careful with the partner you pick as some of you might be investing in a rotten apple without realizing. Do not ignore red flags and be 100% sure this person is fulfilling you and doing more than the bare minimum, as you do not want to regret the person you build a family with. Some of you might even receive warnings of this through dreams, so dream journal and study dream analysis.

Overall, I see, especially for women who picked this pile, that you will be highly successful. I see you having very close friends who are there for you and who are successful themselves, so no jealousy or envy in the scene. I see you all going on trips and nice fancy dates together and truly uplifting each other up.

You will be extremely well educated by then and might even be beginning to take on a PHD by that time. I also see you taking some free courses here and there and truly building yourself up and becoming very well read. You will be a real catch and grow into yourself both physically and mentally. You will be very grounded in all aspects of yourself. I am also seeing some travels around the world and possibly owning a cat or two.

pile 2

2 of cups, 10 of swords, 4 of wands, 7 of pentacles

For those who picked this pile, you will be entering a harmonious time in your life after a long era of suffering and worrying. I see, however, that all this depends on you. You will have to remove your blindfolds and actually take control of your life and make a decision once and for all about yourself and the direction of things. This might be working on yourself, working on limiting beliefs, putting end to toxic behaviors and thoughts you have about yourself or others, going to therapy and doing shadow work. For some of you, this will require the end of friendships/a relationship that won't serve you anymore and you will have to put yourself first, choosing yourself over them, even if hurts you for a while.

For others, this might indicate you are going to be entering a new relationship after worries of never finding the ideal person for you. However, I see that you will be plagued by fears that the relationship won't work or that the person will leave eventually and that you'll have to start from zero with someone new all over again. This is a valid fear, but you will only be allowing these thoughts to drain you out of life and happiness if you don't address them. Not only that, but you will end up easily minsunderstanding your partner or jumping to conclusions that will only put a strain in the relationship. You have been hurt before and you didn't deserve that, but be careful to not project the aftermath of that pain onto innocent people.

I do feel like this partner could be the end game for you, but only if you are willing to truly work through these issues and I'd recommend starting now. When the time comes, be willing to be open with them about the things you have been through as they'll be open minded and understand you better than anyone has. Consider going to therapy too and even couple therapy with them if you have the chance. People tend to think couple therapy is only for when things are going through rough patch or to "fix" things, but the truth is that every couple can benefit from couple therapy and it can help them heal from expectations and fears they carry on from childhood or past connections.

Working through all this will require some time dedication and patience from both, but I see it strengthening the relationship and even possibly leading to marriage and a lot of happy moments together.

I also feel like you might be going through a lot of tiring moments when it comes to your career in 5 years. I feel like most of you will still be trying to find a career/workplace that fits you and where you feel welcome. Others might even not be enjoying your job/employers for being too strict, non-understanding and draining. While you should be collaborative, you should never take abuse or energy draining vampires. You are strong enough to leave and find a better job for you, there are enough of them out there for you and you might even find a better area or truly follow your childhood dreams.

Your efforts when it comes to work will definitely pay off after a while and you will even receive a financial bonus/reward due to this.

I see a lot of celebrations. I feel like some of your friends or even family members like cousins and siblings (i'm also seeing an younger aunt possibly) getting married, engaged or having children. You might also be going to parties or hanging out with friends, trying to maintain a healthy social life. I'm also hearing to keep family close.

pile 3

Lovers, Temperance, 6 of cups, 5 of cups, Knight of Cups, 6 of wands, 7 of pentacles, 3 of cups

So I feel like for most of you 5 years from now this will be a time of self-love and balance in your life. I also see that you will be surrounded by life, with a stable partner/relationship (possibly already marriage for some of you) and expecting a new family member/child, whilw trying to balance things out in your life and home to make space for the new family element.

Because of this new addition to your newly founded family, I feel like you will be reminiscing a lot about your own childhood and how things went with your parents. I feel like they committed many mistakes that you feel resentful over still and that you'll fear repeating. It could also apply to anyone who might have hurt you during your childhood and you fearing the same happening to your kid. However, you're going to choose to look at this as a new beginning and as a way to give someone else the childhood they deserve, since you didn't have yours. I feel like this will help you heal your inner child and release the unwarranted guilt you might feel.

I feel like around this time you might even receive texts from ex partners trying to reconnect, which you will of course decline since you'll be in a happy relationship expecting (although this could also apply for people adopting/using surrogacy btw). Some of you, old friends will reconnect and want to catch up with you. I'm hearing to be careful with who you let back in, but a few of them will be trustworthy and you'll miss them in your life. I feel like some of them might just try to get into your life again for their own benefit and to ask you for money, so be careful. This could also be a family member for some of you.

Overall, it will be a time that you'll see many things come to fruition and you will feel truly victorious. I see a lot of happy joyful moments and celebrations, especially when the little one gets in the picture. I think it will be a very united and bonded family which is adorable.

There will be one month or two that you might need to go into introspection/solitude until you feel better and ready to face the world too. I feel like for some of you this could sadly be some form of postpartum depression, but I see you getting counselling for it and overcoming it without many struggles.

You will be pausing your career for a bit with this, however once you do get back I see people welcoming you with open arms, missing you and wishing you the best. I see you will also be able to get promoted/salary raise in a few months after you get back and so will your significant other, bringing more abundance to you two especially after being a bit tight on finances to make space for the baby.

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hgfictionwriter · 6 months ago

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Maybe This Time - Part Three

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie and you finally get some 1:1 time together (thanks Janine!). You work to build new memories together, but hurt from the past needs to be addressed.

Warnings: None. Temporary, very light angst, but mostly sweet fluff.

A/N: Part two and one.

"What do you think? Should I go for it?"

Jessie smirked as she saw the screenshot you sent her of her jersey in the Thorns' site shopping cart.

"I don't know. I thought you said that was too big a commitment."

"I did. But I was rather impressed at the last game. And we went for drinks after, I finally got to meet Janine – so you know, points for that. And if I think about it, I'm like an OG fan. But if you think I should get a different jersey..."

Jessie laughed under her breath, her smirk now a full blown smile as she read your message while she ate lunch. The conversation she'd been on the periphery of carried on as she ate another bite before typing out a reply.

"Oh yeah? Post-game drinks were a hit, huh? And you know, my stats are only getting better with each game 😉 And let's be honest, I'd be pretty offended if you got someone else's jersey. Except Sinc's. Because, you know, GOAT."

"Oh, well, say no more. You had me at 'stats' lol. Done. I'll pick it up before next game."

"Lol I figured. My plan all along – I know how much you love stats."

"You know me so well. I have to say, I'm kind of tempted to modify the jersey. Add some sort of patch or stitching, 'Yay sports!'"

Jessie laughed out loud, less discrete than before.

"Don't you dare lol. I've taught you better than that. But hey, if you ask nicely, I could actually sign it for you 😎"

"I'm sure I have an old group paper kicking around with your signature on it. I need to be able to wash this thing lol. What else can you offer though?"

Jessie swallowed her food hard, the bite getting caught temporarily in her throat with a wince. Okay, no signature – how humbling. However, there was an opening.

She stared at her phone temporarily before a loud clearing of someone's throat caught her attention. She lifted her gaze with a curious frown on her face to see Janine staring expectantly at her. Jessie instinctively tilted the phone inwards towards her body.

"I don't even have to spy to know who you're texting," the blonde said rather self-satisfied. Jessie looked around, heat building in her face already as she hoped Janine was the only one focused on her.

"Yeah?" Jessie retorted, attempting to appear as unfazed as possible. "You should be pleased. You keep pushing me to text her." She cracked a smirk. "Now that you don't think she's the devil incarnate for 'stringing me along' in university."

"Oh I don't think you need to be pushed," Janine teased with a wicked grin. "And I never said she was the devil incarnate." She lifted a hand to her chest in exaggeration. "I merely questioned things. But you're right," she relented, "she's quite lovely. And she gives you butterflies, and she makes you blush - more than usual - and you try to act all nonchalant and it's just too adorable for words."

"Uh huh," Jessie muttered with a flat look. Janine leaned in excitedly.

"And I have to say, I got the sense that she and I could riff off of each other and just tease the heck out of you, so that really sealed the deal for me."

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, that's exactly what I need in my life." She'd never admit that it actually excited her that her best friend and you could get along so well. If – and it was a huge 'if' - anything evolved between you two, it was key that you got along with her friends and family.

She started thinking about how well you got on with her parents and sister – you'd met before during your days at UCLA and they loved you. She also remembered how disappointed they'd seemed when she eventually told them that you two didn't speak anymore.

"Well, since you're so invested," Jessie went on, rolling her eyes facetiously once more as she opened her phone again and turned it to Janine, "what should I say?"

Janine squinted as she leaned in to read and it only took a moment for her expression to light up. Before Janine could say anything, Jessie snatched the phone back and placed it on her lap with a frown.

"I don't want to hear it," she pre-empted the girl.

"What?" Janine said innocently with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I am totally supportive of the flirtation between you two." She ignored Jessie's look of complaint and cut off her protest. "Her shutting down your autograph is pretty hilarious, by the way," she said with a marginally apologetic look. "Not smooth on your part – you know she's not impressed by your elite football skills. Don't lean on your Jessie the Footballer identity."

"I wasn't," Jessie nearly hissed, trying to keep her voice down and avoid drawing attention. "I was joking. Half joking."

"You were flirting, or at least attempting to. She left you an opening here though. So, you should ask her out."

"I'm not asking her out," Jessie pouted, her shoulders rounding as she scooched closer to the table. She huffed upon seeing the scrutinizing look her friend gave her. "We're still getting to know each other again."

"Fine. Don't define it as a date, then," Janine dismissed with a wave. She leaned in, folding her arms on the table. "Ask her to go for dinner."

"Basic," Jessie remarked as she sat up and crossed her arms in disapproval. She frowned. "Plus that's too date-like."

"Fine," Janine said curtly. "How about a hike?"

Jessie hummed and hawed, unconvinced. "Maybe someday. Doesn't seem right at this point though." Janine rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Well, what did you two used to do back at UCLA?"

Jessie shrugged. She saw the frustration Janine was telegraphing at how unhelpful she was being and jumped in. "We went to drop-in art classes sometimes."

Janine held a hand up to the sky. "Thank you. Finally – something I can work with. Okay! Let's find a drop-in class for you two to go to then." She pulled out her phone and started browsing before shooting a look at Jessie as an aside. "Oh, and dinner's too date-llke, but an art class isn't? Okay."

Jessie grunted and pulled out her phone as well to look.

"Here," Jessie announced after a couple of minutes. "This'll work. She enjoyed painting."

Without further consultation, Jessie began to type out a message to you. She bit back a laugh at how Janine's head was bobbing around periodically trying to peek at the message from across the table.

"Don't send it yet! I want to see it," Janine pouted.

"You are not writing my messages for me," Jessie told her pointedly, but gave a heavy sigh as she turned her phone for the blonde to see. An affronted look crossed Jessie face as Janine let out a guffaw and snatched the phone out of her hand.

"No," Janine simply said with a wag of her finger before she started typing. Jessie reached out for the phone, but Janine turned her body away. Jessie clamored more, but stopped as soon as she noted some of their teammates glancing their way. She shrunk back into her seat, a hand rubbing the side of her face as she spoke in a harsh whisper. "What are you doing."

"Jeff. Relax. I would never lead you astray," Janine assured her. "And this is so very satisfying for me since I never got to help you with any of this during uni. Cause let me tell you, if I had been involved, you two definitely would've been living happily ever after."

Jessie breathed in exasperation. "Please. Give me my phone back."

"Okay, okay. Here," Janine said, all humour from her tone gone as she now offered Jessie a sincere smile. "Read it over, but I think this is good."

Jessie gave her a lingering stare as she took back her phone and let out another withering sigh before reading.

"Funny you should ask. I was thinking about how much I missed art classes together. How about I take you to one of the drop-in painting classes across town when I'm back from Houston?"

Jessie lifted her gaze to meet Janine's and she studied the blonde for a few moments before relenting with an inaudible sigh. It was better than her original "I don't know. Paint class?" reply. She hit send and released another heavy breath as she tucked the phone away once more.

"You're welcome," Janine said with a saccharine smile. Jessie gave her a fake smile in return, pulling a laugh out of the girl. "Hey, let's remember which one of us is engaged and which one of us is perpetually single."

"Ouch," Jessie said with a light laugh.

"I'm just teasing," Janine went on. "I genuinely hope this turns into something for you. Considering you've only come back into each other's lives, what, like a couple months ago? You two seem pretty solid already. And you seem happier."

Jessie wanted to give a dry retort of some kind, but Janine was right. You two talked every day now and the chemistry you had in university was still very much present. And the depth you once had in your friendship was something that was quite easily and naturally being broached again. Even if you'd both grown and changed, the cores of who you were still aligned well and fit together. Too well.

She'd more or less dismissed the spark of emotions that came up during your initial interactions as some sort of emotional muscle memory, but the feelings were proving to not be fleeting or diminishing.

If anything, her feelings for you were growing. And this time they felt different, too. Heavier, deeper in some way. She was a more realized person now, as were you, and it made the connection between you more substantial. Less juvenile.

Her phone buzzed. She opened her lock screen.

"That sounds like a lot of fun! Let's do it."

————

By the time your paint date night came around, Jessie was nearly buzzing with anticipation. It wasn’t an official date, of course, but she hadn’t seen you since that night after the game, and truthfully, it felt like it had been too long.

She was early - as usual - but as she rounded the corner to the building, she bit back a smile upon seeing you waiting. You were always early too, which she appreciated.

“Hey.” Jessie greeted as she approached. Again, she had to tamp her smile when you beamed back at her.

“Hey, good to see you,” you said as you stepped in for a hug, which Jessie reciprocated. “I love your shirt,” you continued when you stepped back.

“Oh,” Jessie said with a slight frown and a mild laugh as she looked down at herself in question. “Thanks,” she said as she gave a shrug and fought off a blush. She looked you up and down, not entirely discretely. “I like your outfit.”

You rolled your eyes affectionately and gave her a look. “You don’t need to reciprocate my compliment. But thank you.”

“I legitimately like your outfit,” Jessie retorted, her pitch rising and pulling a laugh out of you as you both walked towards the building. Jessie took a few quick steps and grabbed the door, holding it open. “After you.”

“Such service. Thank you,” you said, both teasing and appreciative. Jessie didn’t wink, but she did give a teasing lift of her eyebrows as you passed.

As the instructor gave their directions for the lesson, Jessie found herself distracted, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye. The whole lesson carried on like that, really. Jessie had to make a point to not fall behind as she’d uncharacteristically lose concentration. The worst, well, best, moments being when she'd lean over feigning critical assessment of your work when really she just wanted to be close.

By the end, she was decently satisfied with the forest landscape she’d painted. However, she felt it paled in comparison to the ocean sunset you’d crafted.

“I love your colours. And the little cabin you added is great,” you told her as you were both leaving, canvases in hand.

“Well good,” she said as she got to a clearing on the sidewalk and stopped to turn to you. “Consider it my gift to you,” she went on as she held it out to you.

“Jessie,” you said sweetly with a smile as you took it and looked it over more thoroughly. “That’s really sweet. Thank you. It’s beautiful. And bonus - I get my Jessie Fleming signature, but on a far rarer painting as opposed to a jersey,” you laughed. “And what a coincidence. I painted this for you.”

Jessie looked at you for a moment before a smile broke out across her face as she belatedly took the painting you held out.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she studied the image. She frowned in realization as she lifted her eyes to you. “Is this the same beach from our photo?”

You nodded. “It is. Nice eye.”

“Who knew you were so sentimental?” Jessie teased.

“Apparently not you,” you replied with a roll of your eyes, but gave a small laugh. “Come on. It’s been a while, but you know me better than that.”

Jessie was quiet for a moment as she took you in. She eventually nodded. “I know.”

A small lull fell over you both before you asked. “So, what now? Do you have to leave?”

“No.” Jessie spoke quickly with a shake of her head. “I don’t have anywhere to be. How about you?”

You shook your head in return. “Same. Well, it’s beautiful out tonight. Want to just go for a walk? We can drop these off at my car first,” you proposed as you held up the painting.

“Sure. Sounds great.”

After a short detour, you both began your stroll along the quiet, tree-lined street.

“Thanks for suggesting that class,” you said. “I don’t really get to paint or pursue creative hobbies as much anymore. It was nice to make a point of it. I can’t imagine you have much of an opportunity to focus on things like that anymore, hm?”

Jessie sighed quietly in contemplation and gave a shrug.

“Not extensively, no. But we do lots of team building, so sometimes we’ll do artsy things. And I can do hobbies and such in my down time, whether during the week or between seasons.”

She looked over to see you giving her a soft smile.

“What?” She asked.

“Nothing really. Just kind of crazy how everything turned out. You’ve achieved so much and your life is so impressive.”

Jessie was about to interject with a compliment for you, but you carried on.

“Are you happy with how things turned out?” You asked with a slight cock of your head.

“I-um, yeah.” Jessie stammered slightly, caught off guard by your question. “I mean, yeah it’s been incredible. More amazing than I could’ve ever pictured. And I know I’m very lucky.”

“You’re not lucky, Jess. You’ve worked exceptionally hard.”

She huffed lightly. “Yes, but luck is involved too. Lots of people work hard and still don’t get half the opportunities I’ve had.”

“I suppose,” you relented. “But you’ve made the most of those opportunities and haven’t taken them for granted.”

“That’s true. But look at you. You’ve worked so hard. And I know what you’ve been up against, but you’ve risen above and built a great life for yourself,” Jessie emphasized.

“Thank you,” you accepted with a half smile. Jessie knew the ins and outs of your family dynamics - something few people truly knew. You smiled more fully at her. “And look at us now. We both left LA and then found ourselves in the same city again and got to reconnect,” you finished with a laugh. "It sounds strange, but it really feels like in some ways like no time has passed. Not really, anyway. Like you and I were able to pick up where we left off."

You let out a quick sigh, giving a deep shrug as you did so. Your eyes remained trained on the ground as you two walked. "I mean, we talked the other week about my family and it just felt so different. Like, I've told recent friends or girlfriends my history and everything, and they listen and they 'get it', but it's not the same. That conversation with you – via text, no less – had more depth and weight than any comparable conversation with my exes or current friends. You were there. You know it – and me, I guess - inside and out. And even if I retell things, it's just not the same."

Jessie nodded, watching you. It did feel like yesterday when she was sitting next to you on your bed, sobs wracking your body after one confrontation too many with your family. Normally, Jessie was so analytical and tentative about her physical contact with you, but the second you started crying she put her arms around you without hesitation and you leaned in, resting your head on your shoulder as she held you. That was the first time, but it wasn't the last.

Looking back on it, maybe your girlfriends did have good reason to dislike her.

"I know what you mean," she told you. "It's different. I mean, it's the same with you in a lot of ways. You were there for me during some critical points – big decisions in my life and you understood who I was and who I wanted to be."

You smiled at her fondly. You looked ready to say something and Jessie waited. A moment passed and you exhaled, saying, "It really meant a lot – having you in my life and the support you gave me back then. I hope you know that."

"I know," Jessie accepted with a smile of her own. "And likewise."

Her mind drifted. She should probably just leave things be, but not speaking her mind is what held her back all those years before. She needed to share her thoughts and feelings if things were going to be different this time. She took a breath.

"You know, I was really shocked when we saw each other here." She paused briefly. "I don't know. We hadn't talked in so long. I think I'd relegated myself to assuming we'd never see each other or ever talk again. Despite how important we were to one another at some point."

Her statement seemed to give you pause, the mild surprise evident on your face. You eventually glanced down at the street as you two continued to walk.

"Yeah. That's true, I guess," you conceded, your voice soft.

Jessie studied you, unsatisfied with the response you gave. She pushed.

"I knew we wouldn't be able to stay as close as we were. That was inevitable with us living so far away from one another, but I don't think I expected contact to fall apart as quickly as it did." You didn't reply right away and she went on with an ironic laugh. "We went from talking all day every day, to a few times a week with a video call scattered in there, to the odd message every couple of weeks, then just texts on birthdays and at Christmas, to nothing at all."

She wasn't sure what she was anticipating, but she didn't expect you to turn to her with a perplexed frown.

"Yeah. It did taper off pretty quickly."

Despite the time that'd passed, Jessie still knew when you were telling half-truths. She gave a bit of an empty chuckle. "What else are you thinking?"

You returned her laugh with a mild look. "I don’t know. I'm just kind of confused, I suppose." Jessie frowned.

"About what?" She questioned. Faint alarm bells went off in her head when you stopped walking. She stilled her movements as well and you turned to one another on the sidewalk.

You took a moment to gather your thoughts. You spoke with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"I know it was me who stopped replying right away to messages – I don't deny that – but you weren't exactly giving me a lot to work with." You took a breath, dropping your shoulders before you spoke further. "Honestly? It was kind of feeling one-sided. Yeah, you replied, but a lot of your replies were brief and noncommittal. And when I asked if everything was okay you just told me you were busy. Which," you let out a slightly rueful laugh, "is absolutely fair. You were building this brand new, big life. Which is exactly what you were supposed to do. I don't begrudge you at all. I don’t know." You shrugged and averted your gaze momentarily. "I guess things just started to feel off."

Jessie exhaled quietly as she processed your reply. What you were saying wasn't false. It had been so long it was easy for Jessie to just recall the end result – that you'd stopped replying altogether. That you'd given up on her; on the connection you'd both built for years.

Standing here now though, if she was honest with herself, it was true that Jessie grew distant in her messages - purposefully so - knowing it would drive you away. What was she supposed to do? You two were never going to be together. And being friends was so incredibly hard sometimes because it was never just friendship for her. There was always this bittersweet feeling to everything and now that you were on completely different paths, there was an inevitable conclusion. Yet, she struggled to cut herself off cold. So instead, she took the coward's way out.

Jessie scratched the back of her head. "I was busy," she repeated. She contemplated doubling down, but thought better of it. "And I guess I was finding it hard. We were building two very different lives."

There was so much more she wanted to say, but she couldn't. What would be the point? Her chest panged when you gave her a sad smile.

"I know," you accepted with a sadness in your eyes. "And I really wanted that for you. I just - it was hard to not feel like a nuisance. Like some obligation. So I just stopped writing."

Jessie's frown deepened. She knew all those years ago that she had to be hurting you, but she could lie to herself about it and focus selfishly on herself. Seeing you talk about it in front of her wasn't something she'd anticipated.

"I didn't mean for that," Jessie said. "And I never stopped caring about you," she compromised.

"Yeah. I never stopped caring about you, either," you reciprocated in a subdued manner. Despite her role in everything, Jessie was still harbouring hurt from all those years prior and she felt compelled to push on. Sure, she'd pushed you away, but you'd let her. She erased you from her life little by little, day by day and you allowed it.

"Funny how quickly things change sometimes," Jessie went on. She didn't mean to scoff, but she did. "You didn't even tell me when you and [y/ex] broke up. You didn't even tell me you were having problems."

In years past, Jessie was your sounding board for all your girl troubles. She remembered it well – it was painful. Having to hear you either swoon or – more often – complain about your girlfriends. Hearing how they disappointed or frustrated you when Jessie knew she could love you better. Just thinking back to it stoked a fire in Jessie's chest again. While she had genuinely loved you and cared about your well-being, she'd vowed to never get stuck in that dynamic again.

You cracked a smirk. "It just seemed frivolous to bother you with something like that at that point."

Another pang in Jessie's chest. "Well," she kicked idly at the concrete beneath her, "I would've been there for you if you ever needed me. I hope you knew that."

You sighed and gave a hollow laugh as you pushed your hair back, causing Jessie to get momentarily distracted by the way the rays from the street light hit your face.

"I know," you said quietly before meeting her gaze. "And I hope you knew the same about me. I know you're surrounded by people who love you, but," you shrugged listlessly, "I'd be there for you, too."

Before Jessie could respond you gave her another smirk.

"Besides. Though you never said anything explicit, I know you didn't like her. And by the end I could see why, too. No point wasting any of our limited conversation talking about her."

Jessie bit back a smirk, but knew her eyes betrayed her. "Well, I guess that's poetic. Your girlfriends never liked me and I never liked them."

Despite the mounting tension in your conversation, you laughed and gave her a nod. Jessie didn't return your laugh though. She gave you a solemn look.

"You always deserved better than them. I know some of them were just fine, some of them even good, but they didn't seem earnest enough and they didn't love you enough."

You were taken aback by her sudden proclamation. You opened your mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words.

Jessie never understood how they didn't worship the ground you walked on. She practically did, even if she didn't show it. While those girls showed they cared through superficial acts like a generic bouquet of flowers, Jessie listened. In many ways. It was obvious to Jessie that they didn't really get you – not the way she did. And if they were so in tune with you, then why was it her you came to when things were hard or you were scared or even hopeful. If she'd been your girlfriend, she would've given you everything you needed and more. They clearly didn't.

You eventually gave a soft huff and offered Jessie a quiet smile.

"You've always been very observant. And very thoughtful. I get it now. There's a reason I'm single now. I don't want to settle anymore," you told her.

Jessie was quiet before giving a nod of acceptance.

"I'm glad to hear that."

You both started walking again, though neither of you spoke right away. There was still a heaviness in the air, but it felt different now; hopeful.

"I'm sorry for how things ended," you said as she glanced over at Jessie as you two strolled through the quiet street. "You've always been really important to me – regardless of whether we were in contact or not. I don't want to say that I wish things had been different, because I really don't see the point in regretting anything, but I will say I'm very grateful that we've had this chance to reconnect and rebuild." You paused. "I've really missed you. I didn't realize how much."

"I'm really sorry, too," Jessie said, a smile spreading across her face. "And I agree – we can't change the past, but I also appreciate the chance to be friends again. I've missed you, too."

She swallowed as she contemplated whether to add more. The lull that naturally formed told her to forge ahead.

"And you were never a nuisance or an obligation. I'm really sorry it came across that way."

"Awww, Jessie," you said in a teasing voice, lifting your conversation up again. You paused your steps and Jessie stopped and turned to you in question. "Come on," you beckoned as you waved her over and brought out your phone. "We need a new photo together."

Jessie didn't fight it. Instead, she smiled at you and walked over to stand next to you. You leaned into her and Jessie found her hand naturally gravitated to your waist. It rest there before Jessie could even realize it, but before she could fret, you looked back at her with a smile before facing forward again.

You took the photo and immediately opened up your messages with Jessie to send it to her. Jessie belatedly realized her hand was still on you and she pulled it back, holding her hands behind her.

"There," you announced. "Now we can start rebuilding our collection. Portland memories – not just UCLA anymore."

Jessie laughed and held up her phone, pointing the camera at you.

"No, come on," you whined immediately and she laughed further.

"Hey, this is part of the deal," she countered. You huffed, but eventually smiled for her. "Just remember. This goes both ways. I get new photos of you, too."

She found herself giving you a wink. "I'll allow it."

A/N: Part Four is available here.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #canwnt x reader #portland thorns

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olderthannetfic · 10 months ago

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Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

vimeo

youtube

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

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a-romantics-guide-to-life · 1 month ago

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I'd kill for this au my brain is rotting there's a million things up in there for once like while you're folding laundry you steal one of his shirts and he doesn't know until another late night when you walk in wearing it and its past your thighs due to how much taller he is than you and you're wearing nothing underneath it and he finds that out when you stretch up to grab a glass to get water

𝜗𝜚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓭 𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓴𝓮𝔂 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂’𝓼 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓽 ᡣ𐭩 ⊹˚₊𝜗𝜚

single dad hockey player billy x fem reader tags: nsfw (mdni), fingering, masturbation, dirty talk (ofc), praising, sex on the countertop so I don’t usually write smut or anything but was very inspired so yea @outlawdaydream this one goes out to you darling

If you had learned one thing, any thing, as a live-in nanny it’s that night, when everyone is in their rooms, is the best time to take care of yourself. Especially when your ‘boss’ is a star ice hockey team captain who also just so happened to need someone to take care of his daughter, Kara, while he was out at practice or at away games.

Which is why you didn't think anything of it when you took a shower in the bathroom right across from your bedroom door and elected to wear nothing underneath what you thought was one of your usual gray night shirts.

Of course, the shirt you had taken was actually one of Billy’s shirts that you had kidnapped while you were folding one day. You hadn’t even realized when you put the soft cotton gray shirt in your closet but as soon as you put it on, you knew.

It was so glaringly obvious as you looked in the mirror, noting how the soft material pooled around your thighs. You brought the collar to your nose, inhaling his scent. The warm and woody smell of Billy enveloped you, making your knees weak and your core flood with heat.

In the moment you wondered what could possibly go wrong, Billy wasn't going to walk into your private room without knocking. So, your hand slipped underneath your shirt, pinching your nipples between your nimble fingers while your other hand took control of the vibrator you had invested in all those years ago.

It wasn’t like you knew that as you pressed the pink toy harder to yourself, you would only be able to think of Billy’s deep ocean eyes staring into yours as he sang you praises for taking him so well.

It wasn't like you knew that when you finally finally came apart, you would be practically screaming his name.

Yet you did. As you torture yourself with fantasies of Billy pounding into you, his hips slotting perfectly into yours, you could only see his rugged face, his deep voice calling you a “good girl.” You could only feel his own calloused hands massaging your needy breasts as he nipped at your neck.

A wave of relief flushed over you as you finally found reprieve from the electrifying torture that was want. The need you felt as you walked about the house when Billy was around. The scalding hot looks of torture in Billys piercing blue eyes as he watched you play with Kara in nothing more than a loose shirt and shorts that accentuate your figure.

Even Billy found himself in the shower, underneath the warm water fisting his cock, imagining your own around him. You on your knees, pumping him up and down, swiping your tongue across his tip slowly until he finally came apart.

Billy would flush at the thought as soon as he stepped out of the shower.

You cleaned up, wiping your legs with a nice warm towel and fixed Billy’s shirt. Your throat was hoarse and dry, mainly from moaning Billy’s name over and over again so you decided that you’d go grab a glass of water.

Billy had also been very very thirsty after his own shower, only throwing on a pair of gray sweatpants. He figured that you and Kara were well asleep.

As he walked downstairs to the kitchen, his and Kara’s rooms were on the second floor while yours was in the basement, he found you.

His eyes immediately noticed your wild hair, your gray shirt. His eyes slowly trailed downward until he noticed your shirt lift slightly higher as you stretched yourself to grab a glass from the cabinet. Your bare ass peeked out from underneath and Billy’s face flushed, his breathing slowed as he approached you from behind, careful to look up.

You helped when you felt a muscular chest behind you, your ass meeting his strong thigh. His strong arms holding your middle as he reached for the glass you were just reaching for.

Sparks flew up your back, tingling with heat as his front met your back. Your bare ass meeting his-

Oh my.

Now, you knew Billy was fit, especially being a professional hockey player, but the feel of his toned abs rubbing against you.

You let out a small whimper as Billy finally let you go, quickly running to the other side of the island pulling down the oversized shirt.

“Darlin’...”

You finally meet the man’s gaze, his blue eyes dark as the night sky outside the windows. Glimmering stars behind sharp eyes met you as he set the glass down on the counter, a tent forming in his sweatpants. He tried to calm the blood rushing straight to his dick at the feel of your pussy against his lower parts, the sexy ass whimper you had let out.

You two snapped and met in the middle, Billy’s hands hoisting you up and onto the counter, his face meeting your neck. He slowly moved the shirt higher and higher.

“Baby, y’sure you okay with this?”

He pulls his face away, the tips of his fingers tracing stars on your thigh.

You nod, shyly, your heart pounding away in your chest. You grew wetter from anticipation, your ass cold against the marble of the counter.

“Baby, Imma need you to use your voice f’me, okay darlin’?”

His hands inched closer and closer to your heat, his eyes glossy as he waited for you to speak up.

“Please Billy, I need to you fuck me so bad.”

“Fuck.”

He crashed his lips to yours, his hands immediately spreading your legs apart. You yelped as your entire bum met the cold surface. Billy pressed his fingers, finally, to your clit, rubbing up and down so slowly.

You moaned, your hips bucking to meet his hand pressing it further into you. His fingertips teasing your entrance tantalizingly. Your face flushed red as Billy looked at you with such a soft gaze you thought he was about to confess all his sins to you.

“Baby, you’re so gorgeous like this. M’pretty girl.”

He finally pressed a finger into you, your head throwing back as your mouth opened, moans and whimpers escaping your swollen lips. He pumped his finger in and out, the slickness of your pussy echoing throughout the kitchen. He curled his finger upwards into you, pressing a spot that had you singing moans and whimpers even more. You bit your lip in an attempt to try and stay quiet.

“Fuck baby, come on. That’s right, sing f’me, atta girl.”

He pumped another finger into you, making you scream. Billy was mesmerized by you, how well you took him. He watched as his fingers disappeared into you, your pussy so good for him. He pressed his face back into your neck, sucking softly as he used his palm to slap you clit with every thrust of his hand.

His calloused fingertips fucked up into you, your lips red and raw. As Billy’s palm slapped onto your clit, you got closer and closer. Your hips had started to move to the rhythm of his fingers, pressing him further into you. Your head and lips fell to his bare shoulder, biting him as one of your arms grabs onto his back for support as he quickened his pace.

He brings his face to your ear, kissing the space right below, brushing your hair away.

“Are ya close baby, hmm? Fuck, thats right taking my fingers so well f’me, good girl,” he kisses you again, drinking in your moans.

You shudder, tightening around his fingers. Your spine ignites as pleasure burns through you, burning you to your core.

“Fu-uuck Billy, ‘m so fucking cl-close,” your grind out, Billy’s face meeting your glassy eyes.

“Mmm, ‘s that right darlin’? Come on, show me how good you feel baby.”

He grins, his other hand trailing down to press against your clit. He rubs you, pressing his rough fingers hard against you making you cry. Your legs shake as you finally cum, his hands continuing their grueling pace. Your mouth hangs open only inviting Billy to kiss you more.

He ruts his dick against your thigh as your breathing even out once more, his cock straining against the fabric of his sweats. You lay back onto the counter, Billy’s hands moving away from your pussy. He brings them to his mouth, licking the cum, your cum, off them.

“Fuck darlin’, didn’t know ya had that in ya.” He chuckles, his palm pressing his cock down trying to ease himself.

You smile back up at him, your legs timidly closing. “Uh, you too?”

He laughs again, helping you off the counter. Your legs wobbly and weak almost give out on you until Billy wraps his warm arms around your middle, helping you walk to the couch. He kisses your head lightly before promising to come back.

You toy with the hem of his shirt, the things you two have just done flooding your mind. He was just so much sweeter, and sexier, that you thought he could be. When he came back with a warm wet towel, you could’ve nearly sobbed. Billy had even brought you a pair of shorts for you to put on.

When you had reached out to take the towel from him, he just shook his head.

“Nah, lemme do it. It’s only right after all.”

You watched him as he looked up for permission to clean you. You smiled and muttered a small approval before he gently, oh so gently, cleaned you up. He had even brought you that glass of water you had been grabbing earlier and of course, a beer for himself.

“Why are you so nice like this?” You had thought, although your loose lips had opened and asked the man kneeling before you.

“I guess, I like ya lot’s baby. And I hope it ain’t too forward of me but, I really do care ‘bout ya. Besides, that is my shirt, now I just need to get ya my jersey.”

You smile, leaning forward and kissing him so gently.

“I’d love to wear your number Billy.”

And the grin he shoots you? Oh, you are so gone for him.

#billy the kid #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid imagine #billy the kid 2022 #billy the kid hockey au #tom blyth #smut #emi sanity

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pruneunfair · 3 months ago

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My feelings on villains are destined to die and how it writes a toxic family, what lead them to where they were and if they chose to end the cycle or repeat it.

For one I can see why it's so popular, the plot is unique for its time since it was one of the first villainess centered manhwas and there characters are 3 dimensional. VADTD has its fair share of flaws as all media do but my problem is with the fanbase who seem to get the idea that liking something or someone means you must support it at all times otherwise it means you support the opposing party.

This will be mostly centered around our FL that you've probably seen somewhere before even if you haven't read VADTD, Penelope Eckart

If you think I'm here to dog on Penelope don't worry, I think she's a beautifully made protagonist that is actually morally gray and not a bitch with morally gray excuse. So despite how much the fandom says she's a perfect girlboss, Penelope isn't a good person. She sees everyone as just a video game character in the beginning so she doesn't care if characters like Emily would get hurt or how Eckles felt, that isn't too unreasonable since she did get transmigrated into a video game but there are lines that she crosses, she knows the horrors of abuse very well from her past life which is why she's so attached to the og Penelope, but it's clear she is willing to repeat the cycle for her own needs.

Introducing one of the most controversial characters: Eckles (or Eclis/eclipse)

Eckles as a character was designed to make you feel uncomfortable. He's a slave bought by Penelope at an auction and trust me, she isn't very nice about it. He's always wearing a collar with a spell that causes him to be paralyzed and unable to speak if Penelope touches the Ruby ring given to her by the auctioneers, (Because there's no way that could be abused) and everything about him just seems to miserable, his life depends on Penelopes love and care for him and he's willing to keep the collar just so he can be useful..everything about him seems to be the embodiment of Stockholm syndrome and a lack of identity. The saddest part? He knows why Penelope wants him around and he despises her for it (reasonable) yet he still "loves" her

Word for Word, this is what Penelope said to him when she bought him + a few more she says that are concerning to say the least

"Look at me Eckles. This is the face of your master who paid 100 million gold for you. I didn't pay such an extravagant price for you because I'm rotting in money, not even an insane noble would the equivalent of castle for a slave from a fallen kingdom, what is left for you even if you were able to resist and escape from here? You don't even have a country to run to. I despise those who don't know their place. I saw potential in you and that is why I invested in you, that is all our relationship is. Prove your worth so that I have no regrets about the price I paid for you, otherwise I'll send you back here with no hesitation. Do you understand?"

"A dog should act like a dog Eckles! What use is a son of a bitch who bites his master!?"

"You dare bite your master?"

That is NOT good person behavior, Penelope is desperate to live yes but that was one of her lowest moments. Buying a man, contributes to the buisness of slavery with 100 million gold, straight up threatening him to sell him back to slavery if he doesn't obey, and manipulates him for means of an end. But that's the point. Penelope is a gray character so naturally on top of all the good she can do, she still is capable of repeating the cycle of abuse on another person.

They have a sort of co-dependent relationship later on, Penelope views him as a beast and her way of keeping him on her side is buying him a bunch of gifts and then leaving him for long periods of time, forgetting that all he asked of her was to visit him. Of course Penelope is in no way obligated to do so just because Eckles loves her, and by love, I mean obsession to the point where Eckles starts to commit extreme acts all in the name of his obsession for her. He's no longer a person, he's just Penelopes worshipper who also "betrays" her.

Thats another thing people hate him for, for betraying the woman who bought him and treated him more like an animal than a person. And yeah, bringing Leila back to the mansion was a dick move not to mention betraying his own people but when it came to betraying Penelope.. you can't really owe your slave master loyalty, I saw this more as a consequence of Penelopes actions rather than a "poor pene" moment because im just gonna say it: Penelope had no right to be that upset when the slave she treated as an animal wound up betraying her. There was no right in that situation just two wrongs and yet there's a ton of people who solely blame Eckles for not being grateful that Penelope didn't do anything extremely egregious when she owned him (wtf!?)

Yes Eckles isnt a great person either, as i said he put all of his country to death when he snitched on them so he could stay by Penelopes side but just because Penelope is the protagonist with a tragic backstory, that doesnt mean shes an innocent lamb and while fans will glorify the toxic relationship, the way the narrative portrays it is too uncomfortable to be a romantic path, it's meant an abusive past where Penelope can choose to stay at her worst and that would honestly be depressing if she did get with him, itd be a twisted master-slave relationship where Penelope can do whatever she wants to Eckles and he can't say nor will he want to, and I think she knew to some degree that she wouldnt want to be that monster and what she was doing was inhumane which is probably she stays far away from him since she's beginning to see these people as humans and not code. It's both a mix of desperation for her own life and a desire to not repeat an abusive cycle just with extra steps.

A slave and their master isn't a forbidden romance, it's just Stockholm syndrome covered in glitter.

Now on to the other characters, the love interests/ brothers.

Theres a lot of love for Callisto and I can see why, he's not a cardboard cutout and has a personality that didn't revolve around Penelopes goals. I'll admit I didn't like him at first but he's grown on me

But I have a feeling there's another reason fans adore him outside of his character and goals. He's the only love interest that isn't an abusive one. Unlike Eckles, Callisto is closer in equality to Penelope and he's you know, not her fricking step brother. After all when the other options are lava and toxic chemicals, you would much rather stick your hand in a mysterious substance that could benefit you even if it could also kill you. That's what Callisto was when we met him, he's the one who killed OG Penelope the most in hard mode and when he first speaks to Penelope, he's putting a sword at her throat, even though he's killed Penelope in so many timelines, the timelines where he doesn't are the happiest... which I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

then there's Derrick, and uh yeah, I don't blame the fandom this time, he does suck and he has a sister complex.. Fantastic

Still though for such a hateable character it's done so well. He's not always so in your face about it, Derrick is still a 3d character with a "reason" that explains his stepbrother-stepsister love he has for Penelope, he's afraid of losing her like he lost Ivonne (that just opens so many weird doors though with how they imply it) and even if you take that away he's still a perfect example of abuser. No matter what Penelope did he's consistently blaming her for the negatives of their family, he loves her but he also controls her and makes her feel like shit. It's like another form of Eckles and Penelope which is kind of depressing since it's more portrayal of repeating cycles of abuse. *SPOILERS* He also gets to live normally after that and apparently becomes a loving uncle to Penelope and Callistos daughter which I interpret as the harsh reality that abusers who are family aren't likely to go away especially if they are older and hold more power over you, they can stop it all they want but that wound never got treated.

Reynold is another one I have a weird relationship with, he's not as terrible as Derrick but the shit he put Penelope through is yet another example of generational abuse that he started

Reynold represents the regret an abuser can feel after the harm is already done. The entire family has issues in general and communication is one that's seriously lacking but Reynold indirectly started it and justified it when he found the og Penelope praying that Ivonne would never return and from both sides, you can understand why. Penelope doesn't want to go back on the streets and Reynold is still grieving over his sister and the replacement was just wishing for that little sister to dissappear or die, but no matter the reason, abuse is still abuse. But he was willing to change after hearing her true story, but he continues to reprimand her for the past, not letting go so easily which made him a easy target for Leila to brainwash, as I've said, the damage is already done and while the two can remain civil, I wouldn't be surprised if Penelope never feels comfortable around him again.

EDIT: I thought about it and maybe "never feeling comfortable around him again" might be a little too far, OG Penelope probably wouldn't but I think the current Penelope would be more likely to move on.

And now for the figurative and literal embodiment of the lost/ghost child: Ivonne who represents how we handle grief and lost child syndrome.

Almost nothing is known about Ivonne for a long time, the family has fond memories of her but we never get to see what it was like beyond a single memory of the siblings sneaking out to the festival the night Ivonne went missing. In grief we tend to over fantasize the person we lost, usually as a perfect being who did no wrong. Thats what Leilas control represents, Ivonne is dead, her skin is cold to the touch like a corpse as described by Penelope , the goddess Leila who took over her body represents flaws the deceased may have had or a toxic coping mechanism in general and causes everyone under her control to only think about the best of her.

For Ivonne as a character, she is lost child personified, she's literally lost so it's already right there, a lost/ghost child is the type of child that stands by the toxicity of the family, they blend in and no one really bothers about them, though this is more of a reach then the other two, there arent a whole lot of chapters that mention Ivonne beyond comparing her to Penelope and the chapters where she actually does appear, shes separated from everyone else. Even her own father who spent years searching for her, he still gave up and what pushed Ivonne to become a literal ghost child is when she sees the Duke take Penelope off the streets to be his replacement daughter when his real child was staring right at him. Ivonne ends up in a mirror forever, where all she can do is watch the family from afar.

final main character is Winter, and he was the trickiest to place.

I forgot about Winter half the time since he kind just shows up at random, his introduction is literally happening to be there at the right moment when Penelope is running away from Callisto. So I wasn't very interested in him until the battle against the Leila cult, but even though I wasn't interested in him, I still preferred at the time if he was the love interest instead since he was the least violent of all the guys, he actually wanted Penelope to be happy, and very protective of nor just her but the sorcerer children so it was just green flags all around with the exception of the age gap. (I don't know how to feel about since Winter is 26 and Penelope is physically 18 but mentally she's in her 20s)

My interpretation of him is that he could be the friend/therapist that's outside the family, the one to give a little break from the disaster of a homelife. But a therapist or friend can really only do so much and in rare cases they could start suspecting you as a liar since they are also people who are dealing with their own set of problems. Kind of like how Winter starts to lose Penelopes trust when suspects her to be from the Leila cult.

Conclusion: VADTD is popular for a good reason and it has tons of great commentary on toxic households and that no character is truly innocent, but it doesn't get enough credit in that department since tons of people misinterpreted it as yet another basic reincarnation girl boss story where everything is black and white.

This is part 2 to a series I want to call "my feelings on", I'll read through a manhwa/anything one webtoon and I'll either critique it or come up with my own interpretations of it.

#death is the only ending for a villainess #villains are destined to die #penelope eckhart #derrick eckhart #reynold eckhart #ivonne eckhart #winter verdandi #eckles

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otomiyaa · 6 months ago

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TGI Tournament

Cynonari | Chili | Wrioney | Kavetham

A/N: HAPPY BDAY FABIIII @lovelynim !!! Busy day so a little late, but it's still your birthday hoho. I combined some of your fav pairings into this random fic, hope you enjooooy :3

Summary: Aether launches his first own international Genius Invokation TCG tournament and is surprised when things get a different turn than expected. (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 2.9K

Genius Invokation TCG wasn't just a game. The more time Aether spent traveling around Teyvat, the more he discovered about it. He had come to the realization that this special card game was actually what connected all nations to each other the most.

Not visions, archons, beliefs, cultures or customs: it was one single card game they all had in common. The rules were the same across all of Teyvat.

Sure one person owned better cards than the other and some players were more invested, skilful and passionate, but in the end, the game was also all about chance.

With this game, a young boy like Timmie could beat the mightiest archon if the odds were in his favor. An everyday farmer could beat the smartest Akademiya scholar if he believed in himself. A beginner, like Aether himself not long ago, could beat someone as obsessed and skilled as Cyno.

He smiled proudly. Aether admired all that, and so thanks to his growing love for the game, the day had officially come: the first 'Traveler's Genius Invokation TCG Tournament', hosted by him, with assistance of Paimon, Diona and Amber, right here in Mondstadt at the Cat's Tail!

They equipped the place with smaller tables to fit in more, and decorated it with flags and decorations from all nations. Because, it wasn't just a Mondstadt event. It was international!

Aether had used his own network to invite various friends, not only from Mondstadt but also from other nations, to play in this international tournament. And he felt so gleeful to have gathered such a nice group of people who valued their friendship and also loved playing the game!

"I can't believe so many came from all over the world!" Paimon squeaked, watching how crowded the Cat's Tail was. Aether was truly surprised too. When he sent the invitation, he didn't expect them to travel all the way to Mondstadt.

"Mondstadt economy is booming thanks to us. Next time we should ask them to pay ー" Aether's reaction to Paimon's sassy comment was blowing into her face, and she whined in response.

"Welcome, everyone! To the first edition of the Traveler's Genius Invokation TCG Tournament, in short, TGI Tournament, " he called out to the crowd. Sadly not everyone could come, but there sure were some surprising faces!

Most surprising were Wriothesley and Alhaitham. How were they able to drop their busy work to come all this way? Glancing at Lyney and Kaveh next to them, grinning triumphantly, he vaguely got a clue...

"We made a tournament chart, you can view it on the board. We will start the first round shortly!" Paimon announced next. The crowd gathered around the board, and excited and also enthusiastic yells could be heard.

And so, after a few more minutes of excited discussions and preparations, the tournament started, with quite the interesting first round, which resulted in even more interesting winners, and various words were exchanged.

Cyno VS Kaeya

Albedo VS Tighnari

Rosaria VS Kazuha

Childe VS Diluc

Fischl VS Lyney

Sucrose VS Bennett

Venti VS Wriothesley

Eula VS Mika

Mona VS Kaveh

Xiao VS Noelle

Zhongli VS Lisa

Alhaitham VS Jean

"Bennett? You won? You're not that unlucky after all!"

"S-S-Sucrose just w-went too easy on me...!"

"What's this, what's this? You lost, Diluc?"

"Shut up, Kaeya. You lost too."

"Eula, did you let Mika win on purpose?"

"I did no such thing."

"Hey.. Is it me or did Mondstadt get owned pretty hard?"

"Maybe a little."

"Guys, do you know why no ladies are left in the next round? Because after all, it's a tourna-MEN-t."

"Cyno!!!!"

Aether chuckled to see all the reactions to the first tournament round, and he walked over to Amber and Diona who were busy working on the chart and scores.

"So I guess it's time for round two soon, then?" Aether said, and he glanced at the new pairs.

"Oh. This is interesting," Aether said, seeing the pairs they made especially since Amber and Diona didn't know everyone that well which actually contributed to the fairness. It needed to be completely random.

Diona nodded and misunderstood what Aether meant with interesting: "Ah yes I know. It's bad for Mondstadt we put the only two left on one table. But you see, Bennett said that-"

Amber interrupted Diona and quickly waved her hands. "I-it's just better this way!"

Aether grinned and nodded. Either one of the two, probably Bennett, was too shy to play against people they weren't too familiar with, or they just wanted to play together. Which was fine of course.

Either way, the next line-up was mostly interesting because for some magical reason they happened to put at least 4 couples together, and not many people knew about their relationship, let alone Amber and Diona!

"That must be a coincidence," Paimon whispered the obvious as she looked over Aether's shoulder, and he nodded.

So, round two:

Cyno VS Tighnari

Kazuha VS Xiao

Childe VS Zhongli

Wriothesley VS Lyney

Bennett VS Mika

Alhaitham VS Kaveh

Amused, he watched how the pairs sat at a table together. Bennett and Mika started playing their game quite cheerfully. Kazuha and Xiao were the ultimate combination for a quiet, calculated and intelligent game of cards without many works spoken.

But those other pairs....

"If I win this, you'll have to listen to at least ten of my jokes without running," Cyno said as he rolled the dice.

"You're going to claim such a big prize after just the second round?" was Tighnari's sassy response.

"Finally. I thought you were never going to play against me again after that last massacre~" Childe sang.

Zhongli did not seem amused. "Stop talking. It's your turn."

"Look at us, traveling all this way for me to beat your ass like I can do at home."

"Don't be so confident, jail guy. I have polished my skills since our last game."

Aether gulped to hear this remark from Wriothesley towards Lyney, but then giggled to hear Lyney's new nickname for the confident Duke.

Alhaitham and Kaveh were having a hilarious staring contest, barely looking away from each other as they played card after card.

"I win. I win again. Oh, I win." Alhaitham was clearly winning and liked to rub it in with live commentary.

"If you say it once again I will kick your ass," Kaveh grunted.

"Are those guys close?" Diona asked as she noticed the interesting dynamics, and she cocked her head.

"They... They are all from the same nations," Aether explained with a stiff smile.

"Eep! Did we mess up?" Amber squeaked.

"No that's fine. I like it this way," Aether said, smirking to see more funny situations unfold.

He was just gazing at the quiet game between Kazuha and Xiao when a funny noise could be heard from another table.

"Childe, stop."

Aether stared. What was... "Hmm, why?" Childe said, followed by the same funny sound.

"Dohohon't!" Seeing Childe reach under the table, there was no doubt he was tickling Zhongli's leg.

"Do nohohot distrahahact mehehe!"

"So you admit. This is distracting you."

Aether smirked. How childish. "Chihilde!"

Not many people present seemed to know how rare it was to hear Zhongli's laughter, and as it was getting louder, he could see Venti walk over there. He had been spectating the game between Kazuha and Xiao, but now joined in with teasing Zhongli.

"What's going on here?" he chirped.

"Hehe's c-cheheating!"

"How's this cheating, then? Old man?" Zhongli's laughter increased when Venti tickled his sides, and the concentration and focus that had been very strong in the first round, now crumbled.

"I'll tell them to stop," Diona said, walking over there, but the moment she was gone, Aether heard another laugh. He turned his head and saw the one laughing was... Cyno!

"Huh?" Paimon had been too busy serving drinks to the participants who lost the first round, so she hadn't noticed the funny mess at Zhongli's table. However she came to look the moment Cyno could be heard barking near them.

"Nahaahahari! Don't dohoho thahat! Thihihighn-aahaha!"

"That's right. I'm tickling your thigh."

"Nohohot fuhuhunny!"

"You dare tell me my joke isn't funny?"

Whatever the reason, Tighnari must've been inspired by the tickly mess at the other table. Right at that moment, Aether heard a loud noise. Lyney just banged his head against the table from underneath. Huh?

"WRIAh- nohoho! Don't you dahahare- why ahahare you- gahhh!"

"For a magician, that was petty and embarrassing. You dropped the dice on purpose when they didn't give you the result you wanted. You know I won't let you get away with cheats, kitten."

Aether blushed when he overheard the exchange. These two weren't subtle at all. He watched how Wriothesley tickled Lyney who had crawled under the table to pick up the dice, but Wriothesley was tickling his sides and ribs relentlessly, trapping him under the table and punishing him for his apparent attempt to cheat.

"Why did it turn out like this?" Amber sighed when Diona returned to their side as well.

"They're not stopping," she complained, hehe, poor girl. Only Aether seemed to be amused by the little chaos. Childe had even jumped up and teased and tickled Zhongli with the help of Venti.

Aether noticed Bennett and Mika had stopped playing for a moment and watched the tickly chaos with smiles on their faces.

Kazuha and Xiao were still playing as if nothing was happening.

Ah, he then remembered he hadn't checked on Kaveh and Alhaitham who were tucked away with their table in the corner, surrounded by various Mondstadt people who were watching their game. He could hardly see them, but sounded like they didn't let the others bother them.

A loud cry made him look away from the busy table again to see Wriothesley throw his head back as he laughed loudly.

"Ahahalright! Alrihihight alreheheady! L-lehehet's continuehehe!" he laughed, and Lyney was still under the table but there was no doubt he was tickling Wriothesley's knees and thighs from under there.

"You started it, Wrio. Besides, I wouldn't have dropped the dice if you weren't distracting me on purpose. And then you accuse me of cheating?"

Aether had no idea who was in the right, but he decided to not interrupt them and walked around, ending up at Zhongli's table.

He tapped Venti's shoulder who was still tickling him together with Childe. "Let's not disturb their game," he said. Venti whined.

"Why? We're having fun."

"At least keep it in between them," Aether disagreed, dragging Venti away, but it didn't stop Childe from simply abandoning his own seat and wriggling himself onto Zhongli's lap, just to tickle him uncontrollably. There was no game to speak of anymore, except a tickle game.

Looked like their duel of Genius Invokation TCG was already abandoned.

"Disqualified," Diona said as she stood next to them, but the Harbinger merely responded with a cheerful peace sign.

"Did you hear that Zhongli? We're disqualified."

"Stohohop thihihis instahahant!" Poor Zhongli. Luckily he didn't need to be too embarrassed since by now, the duos not having a silly tickle fight at their table were in the minority.

"Disqualified."

Wriothesley and Lyney were next, but there wasn't much left of their game anyway. Besides the dice, also some cards had fallen off due to the struggle under the table.

"I think they are still trying to play," Amber said, pointing at Cyno and Tighnari. Despite getting tickled, Cyno was playing card after card, and Tighnari was laughing too, so it looked like they were having a tickle fight under the table while playing the game.

"Stop that, or, disqualified," Diona told them. It seemed to work at first, but the moment she left, Aether could see they started again. Hehe, how cute and silly.

At this point everyone was just laughing and messing around. "There goes our tournament!" Amber whined.

"You'll pay for that!" Cyno and Tighnari had now left their table as Cyno chased Tighnari to the other side of the room. Aether saw that their game was totally messed up, cards and dice scattered over the table and floor.

"Disqualified after all," Diona muttered next to him, shaking her head in disappointment. Tighnari fled into the crowd around Alhaitham and Kaveh's table, trying to hide behind the usually cool and aloof Alhaitham, but it didn't stop Cyno from chasing after him, hands formed into claws.

"Guhuhuys hehehelp!"

"I'll get you for ruining our game!" Everyone backed away and squealed and cheered in surprise when Tighnari was thrown over Kaveh and Alhaitham's table, sending cards falling and flying, and Aether covered his own face in defeat.

"Game over," he said, trying to hide his smile while Diona fumed angrily.

"Such bad manners!" she cried. Tighnari was laughing and flailing as he was tickled by Cyno, and Kaveh and Alhaitham merely got up and went to get a drink, giving up without a complaint.

"You must be glad about this. I was winning," Kaveh said proudly. Alhaitham rolled his eyes.

"How can you say that when I was about to obliterate your final card?"

"I had a strategy."

"A strategy for loss, indeed."

Aether finally stood on top of a table in the middle and clapped. "Alright you guys! That's enough!" His voice wasn't loud enough to interrupt the tickle chaos, so Paimon took her megaphone and yelled instead.

"STOOOOOOOP!" All laughter stopped abruptly. Diona also climbed on the table and crossed her arms.

"Is there anyone who is still playing?!" she yelled. Bennett shyly raised a single finger.

"I won..." he said shyly. Mika scratched the back of his head and shrugged.

"Bennett is really lucky today," he said.

"Anyone else?" Amber asked kindly, looking around. Kazuha also raised his hand.

"I won," he announced sweetly. Woah. Aether saw the indifferent look on Xiao's face and giggled. He felt sorry for him. Xiao was the only one who didn't get a proper invitation, but he simply summoned him by calling his name and dragged him into this.

"Sorry," he mouthed in his direction, to apologize for the chaos, and he was pleased to see a gentle nod in response. Xiao didn't seem to blame him for losing control over the tournament.

"Good! Well then," Paimon said, and she pointed towards the board where Diona made the final adjustments. Exactly two people were left for the finale which ended up taking place sooner than planned.

Cyno VS Tighnari

Kazuha VS Xiao

Childe VS Zhongli

Wriothesley VS Lyney

Bennett VS Mika

Alhaitham VS Kaveh

While the final table was prepared for Kazuha and Bennett's duel, Paimon passed by the other duos to scold them.

"I can't believe all of you just turned it into a tickle fight! YOU started it!" she yelled at Childe, poking his chest and making him giggle.

"Sorry not sorry. Maybe next time we can have a tickle tournament instead," he said, probing Zhongli's side playfully.

"Don't give the Traveler ideas," Paimon sighed. Aether was already smirking. Don't, indeed. The idea of a tickle tournament sounded quite interesting.

"Well then! Last round!" Diona and Amber looked exhausted as the final round finally started. This time everyone was gathered around Bennett and Kazuha's table, with some people getting drinks and giggling at the funny turn of events.

Walking around the room to check on everyone and clean up some of the mess, Aether then saw an interesting display, and shuffled closer to watch and listen.

"D-dohohon't! You bohohoth ahaahare-eepp!" To his surprise, Kaveh had cornered Alhaitham in an abandoned spot behind the crowd and was tickling him now.

Alhaitham was also a rare one to witness laughing, so Aether couldn't help but chuckle at the remarkable sight.

"Y-you g-gaahha q-quihihit ihihit! Y-you're suhuhuch a sohohore loseheher!" Despite laughing, Alhaitham didn't seem amused, but Kaveh wouldn't let him go.

"Sore loser, me? I wasn't losing though." Kaveh looked smug, and Alhaitham appeared very flustered to get tickled in public like this. Not that anyone except Aether was noticing them now. And- woah.

He gulped to see Alhaitham lose his cool. He managed to break free from Kaveh's grasp, grabbed his collar and dragged him outside. Oh. Aether had a feeling that they were returning to their hotel room and that Kaveh was going to get a taste of Alhaitham's revenge in private.

"What are you spacing out for? The finale is almost ending! Come, quick!" Paimon suddenly squeaked, making him jump. Aether quickly returned to the table, making his way through the crowd, and was just in time to witness a unique sight.

Bennett won.

"Congratulations," Kazuha said, shaking his hand formally. Before Aether could say anything, Kaeya already dashed forward and lifted Bennett up.

"We have a winner! Woohoo!" Amber and Diona cheered as everyone applauded. Who would have thought. Bennett, the unlucky guy, but lucky today.

Aether nodded proudly and stepped forward. "Bennett! This is for you." He handed him the trophy he had crafted specially for this event, and Bennett took it with sparkling eyes.

Seeing him so happy, Aether thought that the fact that many other pairs ended up getting disqualified, shortening the tournament enormously, might have contributed to Bennett's luck. He absolutely deserved the win.

Seeing the smiles on Diona and Amber's faces, and the proud Mondstadt people, Aether was glad they also weren't too upset that their tournament turned into a little chaos.

"Let's do this again next year!"

Aether nodded proudly. "We will," he said, although he had to admit the thought of a Tickle Tournament was now paving its way into his mind first. He wondered if he could get anyone to participate...

#genshin impact #chili #cynonari #wrioney #kavetham #aether #tickling #tickle fic #otomiya!writes #too lazy to tag all character names sorry

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vaelzz · 2 months ago

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It feels so odd to be treated with kindness and respect. I think people do themselves a disservice by keeping dismissive, toxic or downright negative friends, family or romantic interests in their lives. On the other hand I know how isolating it can be to cut it all out and just be left with your own thoughts in an endless echo chamber debating that you might actually be the toxic/negative, that you might be overly sensitive or perhaps selfish/narcissistic for feeling hurt over people downplaying or wilfully ignoring something you've achieved…

In worst cases downright insulted and degraded which I personally have always understood as people projecting their own insecurities and envy which helps ignore it sure but even still when it is persistent it slowly wears you down over time and serves as a way to validate your own internal negative thinking about yourself. I'd think I'd only care about what I truly think but then I'd simply let myself be exposed to negativity until it's literally hardwired into my very being and being told positive things is met with a lot of internal resistance because I truly don't believe it. The worst part is that I feel guilty for not truly appreciating kindness or affection which makes me anxious because I am unable to reciprocate and I understand it's not supposed to be like a transaction but when someone is genuinely nice to me I just melt into a puddle of confusion. This is all internal though because on the outside it's easiest to just say "Thanks!" and move on because exposing the issues I see can be seen as attention seeking or just simply draining to people which will be met with frustration and resistance from them.

But again it just feels so bizarre to have someone be genuinely appreciative. The screenshot attached to this post is an old artwork of mine reposted to the story of a new very special individual who has entered my life and it really puts into perspective the stark differences in every simple interaction. It feels so crazy to me that I'd invest so much time and energy into people that would refuse to input even the bare minimum and would even go as far to exert their own expectations followed by incessant downplay at every opportunity.

The artwork is from 2015 and it's taken on a cheap borrowed school camera at The Den Of Nargun and then further edited and painted over on my old craptop and only a mouse (R.I.P pre-tablet days) so screen was barely calibrated or accurate but it was inspired by The Hallow in Terraria which is one of my favourite games. I remember showing it to a close friend of mine this after gifting them a Canon film camera that had a good lens. (it was old and compatible with their new Canon and I used Sony so why not) But they literally said it looked like vomit which beyond irked me because whilst it's not perfect it was a prominent creation in my life when I was just 17 in highschool without many resources. I also won an acquisitive art award for it alongside another piece called An Ever Flowing Stream of Eternity, acquisitive meaning the local gallery acquired it and I was given $500 alongside some other art supply gifts which I don't like to brag about but surely it must have some merit or value for that? Certainly not vomit right?????

I guess to top it off I was only sharing it because having gifted them a camera I was recommending locations to go except they literally went 2 days later without telling me after I said I wanted to return there and retake some pictures now I am older with a better camera. Definitely some strong gaslighting there when trying to confront it but that's whatever but what really irked me was them just shoving all their photographs in my face and essentially demanding praise and getting upset if it's anything less than positive. I'd never really share much of my art or things I made because people wouldn't really care which I figured is fair enough because everyone has different tastes and there is zero expectation for someone to like or appreciate anything you do but after so many years of that you just feel so empty. Because this is just one instance but there are countless instances with plenty of other people too which is incredibly demotivating because why bother doing or sharing anything that someone is just going to devalue? Might as well focus my attention elsewhere??? Except I'd still always have that inherent drive to create and achieve things so ultimately it just led to cyclic toxic cycles of internalized perfectionism.

But now being met with something as simple and trivial as a story repost followed by being spammed likes because I felt sad about this artwork being called "vomit" and an overall general lack of appreciation after discussing some concepts around Tall Poppy Syndrome it just… idk it sort of warms my heart and honestly I was melting a bit and I felt so guilty that this person was showing kindness and appreciation towards me because I felt so underserving? The crazy thing is that it's so simple and basic yet feels so foreign to me to have someone take the time and basic thought to undertake the gesture. For the record the share and likes are meaningless, it's all just superficial social media bullshit but the simple gesture and thought is what touches me deeply yet it feels like such a basic and trivial thing so it really makes me think back to when I'd let negative people remain in my life and convince myself I'm selfish for ever having the passing thought that I'd like the same respect and energy given to be returned mutually.

#Thoughts #Me

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theerurishipper · 1 year ago

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Just saw a post that said Adrien is a love bomber... are we really throwing buzzwords around for the sake of salting on Adrien, the abuse victim? Love bombing is an emotional manipulation tactic, and it is usually paired with the cycle of abuse. Adrien is not abusive. He is not emotionally manipulating Marinette. He is showing her affection. I guess we're demonizing showing our loved ones any sort of affection now...

Yeah fr, people will throw around all kinds of words istg. This is the definition of love bombing:

Love bombing is a tactic in which someone “bombs” you with extreme displays of attention and affection with the intent to manipulate you. Although being showered with "love" can seem positive at the beginning of a romantic relationship, love bombing can lead to gaslighting and abuse. Psychologists caution it might be a tactic used by a narcissist or sociopath in an attempt to control you.

Anyways, Adrien doesn't do this. In fact, this is what Gabriel does to Adrien. From this article:

In a relationship with a pathological predator, love bombing is combined with intermittent reinforcement to create a sense of instability and longing in the victim. Intermittent reinforcement (in the context of psychological abuse) is a pattern of cruel, callous treatment mixed in with periodic affection. The abuser hands out rewards such as affection, a compliment, or gifts sporadically and unpredictably throughout the abuse cycle. This causes the victim to perpetually seek their approval while settling for the crumbs of their occasional positive behavior.

This is exactly what Gabriel does. Whenever it seems like Adrien is rebelling against him because he is tired of Gabriel's neglect, Gabriel will offer him a little concession. Adrien is rebelling against him? Fine, let him go to school. In this way, Adrien doesn't rebel against his father anymore, and Gabriel can keep him under his control, because now Adrien will continue to believe the best of his father and will continue to try and earn his love. Another example is in Gorizilla. Adrien gets tired of Gabriel stopping him from seeing his mother's movie, and sneaks out. Later, Gabriel allows him to watch the movie, and throws in a little bit of gaslighting in there, essentially blaming Adrien for not being open with him and making him feel guilty, when it's his own fault his son didn't open up to him, which is because he's a neglectful asshat.

This is Gabriel and Adrien's relationship. Adrien stays with his father and tries so hard to please him, because Gabriel has instilled in him that love is something conditional that is to be earned. And whenever it seems like Adrien is breaking away from this mentality, Gabriel will do something "nice" for him, which will bring Adrien right back, because he's an abused child who wants to believe the best of his father and wants his love and affection.

Again, to quote the article:

As author Adylen Birch writes, “Creating fear of losing the relationship and then relieving it periodically with episodes of love and attention is the perfect manipulation.” Much like the way a gambler at a slot machine becomes addicted to playing the game for a potential win despite the risk of major loss, a victim in the abuse cycle can become attached to the idea of getting a return on their investment in the relationship despite the toll it takes on their well-being.

There's actually an example of this in the show. From Illusion:

Adrien: Speaking of which, Dad, I'm not really comfortable with having my face on all these rings. That's actually why I didn't want to be a model anymore, to avoid that. Do you understand? Gabriel: Of course, I understand, my son. But that's the point; it's just an image, it's not you! And since this image frees you from your obligations, we, the Agrestes, are able to spend more time together. But if you'd rather everything went back to the way it was before, just say the word. Adrien: (wears the Alliance ring on his index finger) You're probably right.

Gabriel even explicitly says what he's doing, which is holding the threat of going back to their previous relationship over his son's head to emotionally manipulate him. To refer back to the article, he creates the fear of losing the relationship in Adrien, and then makes a big deal of showing that he cares so much about Adrien and his future, and he makes him breakfast. This is love-bombing. And so, Adrien goes along with whatever Gabriel wants as long as he doesn't lose it. And so, he continues to do what Gabriel wants, which is to accept the Alliance rings and his image being used in ways he doesn't want. And true enough, Adrien goes back to defending his father after he finally worked up the courage to confront him for his shit in the beginning.

Adrien: My father? But Nino, he's changed, he's making an effort, and it's the first time he's coming to school!

I could go on, and there are several examples of this in the show, but then we'd be here forever. But I highly recommend that article. I just read it, and it is literally Gabriel and Adrien, oh my god. It's very informative and I think we should all be aware of this.

But anyways, back to your question anon (sorry for the tangent). Adrien doesn't love bomb. Adrien is just very affectionate. He doesn't withdraw affection from anyone, he doesn't make them settle for scraps. He doesn't try to manipulate anyone, he doesn't gaslight anyone, he doesn't try to make them seek his approval. Adrien is always kind and loving towards everybody he cares for.

In fact, Adrien does the exact opposite. He fawns over others, and he tries to earn their love and approval. This is because of Gabriel's abuse. And to accuse him of love bombing is so disgusting. Honestly, people just throw those words around like candy. But then again, I've seen what the side of the fandom that might have said this usually says, and it's usually the same victim-blamey abuse apologist rhetoric, so I'm not even surprised.

Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Gabriel Agreste #Meta #My meta #Asks #ML Fandom Salt #Abuse tw #Abuse cw

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