#So if you need me And baby I make you feel alive ( steven moon & the tattoo artist — deadtimestorys )

[italianexotiicbeauty]

[ tag dump. ]

[ivystoryweaver]

Spectre

A Moon Knight Halloween Love Story

Event #6: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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Event #6 Summary: Marc spends the evening with you and Steven gets a haunting

Pairing this chapter: Marc Spector x f!reader, Steven Grant x f!reader (Jake mentioned)

Word count: 3k

Content: ANGST, the yearning, ghost probs (no body), language, dealing with death and grief, manner and COD discussed, violence, spooky/horror elements, probably inaccurate DID (show based), not beta’d

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PREVIOUSLY on "Spectre"...

"And...and maybe don't sell the house just yet?" You barely managed that request in a choked whisper. "If this is the only place I am besides the dark, and...and you guys leave then, I'm afraid - "

"Of the dark," he solemnly concluded. Reaching for your hand again - pointless, though it was, he made a vow. "Baby, look at me. I will never leave you here alone. Never. I promise you."

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Marc wanted to stay home with you all day, but you insisted that they lead normal lives. You promised to come back.

He wanted to kiss you goodbye. You’d just told each other you loved one another. It almost seemed as if he was headed downtown to work, and you would venture into your loft to write for the day.

You missed your loft. Why couldn’t you go in there? Maybe if you concentrated hard enough…

You missed writing. Maybe you could write some children’s ghost stories. After all, you now had first hand experience.

What…were you thinking? Write?

Was this death? Feeling all these tormented emotions? And good ones too? The sparkle of laughter with Jake, the yearning to talk to Steven, the love and longing, even lust for Marc.

And the guilt. You were too harsh with Marc before, when you said he ran away from pain or punched it in the face. You had to see him again soon, to apologize. He was going through too much already - he didn’t deserve that - not from you.

“I’m so sorry, Marc,” you whispered into the stillness of your bedroom. As if he could hear you.

The feelings washed over you, making you feel…alive. And clearer than you had felt since you first became aware of yourself, or of this room.

You waited all day. This was new. It was boring. But boring was better than darkness. Feeling anything was better.

You were practically bouncing with anticipation by the time the sun set. Finally Marc arrived.

You called his name as soon as you saw him climbing the front steps to your front door, and didn’t stop until he was standing in front of you.

“Baby? You okay?” He huffed, having run up the stairs.

“Yes, you can see me?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, pulling off his jacket. “The way you were calling my name, I thought…something was wrong.”

You both realized how weird that sounded. Being dead kind of meant everything was wrong.

So you told him about your day. How you thought and thought and felt so many feelings. How you wondered about writing and your loft. How you never went back to the Dark Place. And how very sorry you were for what you said to him.

“I’m the last person who should be confirming your worst thoughts about yourself, Marc,” you explained. “Please forgive me, I felt terrible about it all day. I’m so sorry.”

His brow furrowed with confusion. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.” No way he wanted you of all people to feel anything negative. You were the one who lost your life after all.

You talked for a little while longer, about simple things - his day at work, his walk home. Ordinary things. He mentioned speaking with Ms. Marjorie and you shared that you heard Steven speaking about her quaint, lovely shop.

Finally, Marc’s stomach growled, letting you both know that he needed some dinner. He could plainly see that you were anxious about him leaving the room.

“Just gonna grab some leftovers, honey, I’ll be right back,” he softly assured you.

Great. Now you were a clingy ghost. What the hell…

He wasn’t gone long, by your estimation anyway, and ate in your bedroom, with the two of you sitting on the bed. Then you felt even more guilty, as if you were trapping him here somehow.

“Hey, is the World Series on yet?” You asked, knowing October meant baseball postseason.

“Next week,” he clarified. “Why do you ask?”

You smiled at him knowingly. “Well, I mean…you can go watch baseball if you want to. You don’t have to sit in here all night.”

He pretended to be offended. “You trying to get rid of me?”

“No! No, I just…I want you to live your normal life…” You trailed off, sighing wistfully.

“Fuck it, I’ll just move the TV up here. Or get a new one,” he shrugged. “I want to be with you.”

That proclamation sobered you both, because it was the whole problem. You couldn’t be together. Not really.

“I want that too,” you whispered, easing a little closer to where he sat, leaning against the bed’s headboard. “It’s all I want. To be with you. But…it’s too late.”

“It’s not too late,” he found himself telling you, without really thinking before he spoke.

You frowned, confused.

“That’s what you kept saying, or…some voice I kept hearing when you first started appearing to me. ‘It’s not too late’. Even Ms. Marjorie said it. I didn't realize it til now but...I've heard it a few times: 'it's not too late.' What do you think it means?"

You shook your head. "No idea. It's obviously too late for us to really be together...isn't it?"

The sight of your wide, hopeful eyes broke his heart. "There has to be a reason you're here."

You talked a little while longer, about what this all could possibly mean. And instead of fading away, you seemed energized...and felt more alive, but you definitely were not.

Marc kept trying to touch you on instinct and you were most assuredly a ghost.

So you talked about ghosts: about myths and fables and any lore you could think of. You even looked it up online. Marc admitted Steven might be the better consult regarding this topic, but you both soberly remembered that he couldn't see you.

Which hurt because you felt overlooked and Marc felt crazy. But it wasn't Steven's fault, clearly.

"Ghosts can have unfinished business," Marc read from his phone screen. "All right, who are you still pissed at?"

The tension in his shoulders and the scowl he normally wore had relaxed as the night wore on. He almost seemed like his old self again. The person he was with you. The loving partner you adored, not the grief-stricken lonely man who questioned his sanity.

"No one," you thoughtfully answered, not knowing how the next words out of your mouth would change everything. "Well maybe the asshole who killed me."

Marc's phone dropped out of his hand and hit the mattress. He went deadly serious in one second flat. The mirth in his eyes turned stone cold - his lips parted as he drew a shuddering breath.

"W-what did you just say?" He choked out.

Shit, that wasn't a topic you should have made light of, or thrown around carelessly. Marc must still be reeling from your murder, if not blaming himself for it somehow.

"I'm sorry I said that - "

"What...did you say?" He covered his mouth with both hands as his eyes burned with fury. Pushing up off the bed, his fingers tore through his hair. "You...you weren't murdered," he gasped, his chest heaving the way it normally did right before he panicked. He wouldn't likely be here for much longer.

"You weren't," he hissed out a whisper. "What are you saying? There was an autopsy. You weren't...what are you saying!?"

Shit.

You floated off the bed, bewildered. You hadn't considered, even for a moment, that Marc was unaware of how you died. And it hadn't exactly come up.

"Marc, I...it doesn't matter how it happened, really. I didn't mean to...I thought you knew - "

"Yes, it really fucking does matter," he snapped, his fists clenched so tight they were turning white. His wild, frantic eyes landed on you, and seeing your distress, he shook his head in agony.

"You were...how? Who did this?" He let out a choked sob. "Tell me who. Who hurt you?"

"I-I don't know him. Marc, I thought you knew. If I wouldn't have gone to see Jake that night - "

"What?"

You went into the city the night you died? And Jake never fucking thought to mention it?

"I...I was on my way to see Jake." You did that sometimes - ride around with him at night, when Marc and Steven would have the next day off. It was a way to spend a little extra time with Jake, in his environment - his own little world. Plus it was fun to stay out all night, driving people around, eating at your favorite diner...making love in the back seat...

"I never made it," you explained. "I-I was still here in town when a man grabbed me - covered my mouth. He was strong. Then he moved my arm and I felt a pinch underneath my armpit. And that's all. He...maybe he injected me with something."

Marc pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes, almost doubling over in agony. "No. No, no, no, no." He banged his fists against his forehead and before you could follow your instinct to go to him - before you could even remember you wouldn't be able to touch him, he was gone.

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Steven straightened up, blinking a few times before using his sleeve to dry his eyes. "What?"

He glanced around, trying to get his bearings when he heard the most heartbreaking cry of anguish...

coming from you.

“Bloody hell!” Steven gasped, scrambling away from your visage - not because it was you. He simply wasn’t expecting anyone at all to be in his bedroom. And he still couldn't see you, but he did hear someone cry out.

“No, no, no,” you cried, knowing Steven couldn’t see you.

"Losing m'mind," he mumbled, drawing his hands to his chest. His eyes swept across the room nervously, but he saw nothing.

"Maybe this place really is haunted," he murmured to himself. Deciding to take an evening walk and shake himself out of his spooky mindset, Steven found his shoes before shuffling downstairs, leaving you alone and heartbroken.

The feeling of being alive was so close, you could almost taste it. Your chest heaved with emotion - your heart, which stopped pumping life through your veins months ago, raced with worry for Marc and longing for Steven.

"Steven, please," you gasped, in a manner that would have been tearful, except that you had no tears to cry.

But he was gone.

Steven no longer lived in complete oblivion as he once did. If he suddenly fronted, his cheeks wet with Marc's tears, there was clearly a reason. Maybe Marc was still seeing you. He wasn't sure right at the moment because his alter was quiet - nowhere to be found, really. And it wasn't a parlor trick. He couldn't force Marc to appear or share anything.

Perhaps your little bungalow truly was haunted. Without giving it much thought, Steven's feet carried him back downtown, straight to the "Mystic Delights and Other Charming Novelties" shop.

He was looking for Ms. Marjorie. He wanted answers and somehow, he felt that she could give them.

But as he rounded the corner onto Main Street, he stopped short. There, right where the Mystic Delights shop should be, was...nothing. The building was dark and little run down. Unoccupied.

"Wait a minute..." Steven mused to himself, inspecting the darkened windows, where twinkle lights had recently shone out, welcoming him in. He scurried a few more doors down, to Mrs. Alraune's flower shop. Her store was closed, but in tact.

Retracing his steps, Steven tried to reason with himself about where Ms. Marjorie and her lovely shop could possibly be.

Finally, he decided to inquire in the corner drug store. He recognized the face of the cashier but didn't know her name. She looked to be in her early 20s and often rang Steven's order when he stopped in.

He inquired after Ms. Marjorie and the little shop that had come to mean so much to him in only a couple days.

Devon, the young cashier was named, told him she had been employed at the drug store since high school and that particular store had changed owners a few times. The city had tried to clean it up on many occasions but she couldn't remember an antique store - not recently, anyway.

"No, that's not possible," Steven argued. Realizing his words might offend, he apologized. "Sorry, I just...I swear there was a lovely little antique shop right there. The most extraordinary woman owns it..."

Realizing he sounded like he wasn't quite right, he offered up one more apology and left.

Steven felt more confused than ever. Where was Ms. Marjorie? And her shop? Who was making noises in his home? And why had Marc claimed to see you?

October 31st hadn't quite rolled around, but Steven was all done with spooks. He walked home, quickening his pace, fueled by confusion and agitation.

Once he reached your front yard, he saw the curtain of his bedroom rustling.

"All right, ghost," he firmly declared, "I'm coming up and you bloody well better make yourself plain. No more games."

He rushed up the front steps to unlock the front door, hoping with all his heart that, if you were here - if Marc really saw you - that he might see you too.

So he called your name.

"Darling, I know I haven't been able to see you, and...I don't even know if you're here, but please...please send me some kind of a sign."

Turning this way and that, he checked the living room, the kitchen. With a heavy sigh, he climbed the stairs to the bedroom, pausing at your picture in the hallway.

"What's happening, love? Marc is seeing you, and I'm apparently having tea with a spectre instead of a shopkeeper. Please...are you there?"

His shoulders slumped in defeat and confusion, he trudged the final step into your once-shared bedroom

...and there you were.

Right there, seated on the edge of the bed, wearing Marc's hoodie.

"Oh my days," he breathed, his eyes widening as he stepped right in front of you. “Darling? Is it really you?”

Your gaze, so forlorn, snapped up to his. “Steven?” You gasped, “Can…can you see me?”

He rubbed his eyes for good measure, then nodded eagerly. “You are here. Aren’t you, love?”

"Steven, oh my god," you breathed, rising to meet him, wishing with all your nonexistent heart you could throw your arms around him. "I've been trying to talk to you, but you couldn't hear me, or see me," You emphatically explained.

"God, I'm so sorry," he sincerely returned, his dark eyes shifting, studying you with concern. "I didn't mean to doubt you. I'm sorry."

He shook his head in wonder. "I can't believe it. Marc was right. H-how are you here?" Stepping closer, he interrupted himself. "Are you alright, love? You're not hurt or anything? I mean, besides the obvious..."

He trailed off, granting you a bewildered smile as he drew his hands close to his chest. Oh, how you missed this precious, adorable man of yours.

"No, I'm okay. I was with Marc before. Then you left."

You explained to Steven a little of what had been going on, with your talks with Marc and Jake. Then you asked Steven if any of them knew how you died.

"Coroner said your heart just stopped," Steven explained.

"Yeah because someone injected me with something," you supplied, feeling the need to pace back in forth, even though you were really sort of floating. "They didn't find anything in my system? A drug, or a puncture mark under my arm?"

"Darling you're not...you're not suggesting that you were...killed?"

Just the thought of some asshole taking you away from your life - from your stories, your loft, from the town you adored, from this house and from the man you wanted to marry and have a family with - the feeling of the helplessness and despair you felt in that moment boiled into rage.

Without even realizing what you were doing, you curled your fingers into fists, squeezed your eyes shut and cried out, sending a wave of energy jolting through your bedroom, knocking Steven clean off his feet. The power was so strong, it knocked the lamp off the bedside table, crashing to the floor, and lastly, the mirror over your dresser shattered.

You acted out of pure spectral instinct.

Steven reacted equally, having summoned his Mr. Knight suit without a second thought. He didn't even intend to do it - it just happened as soon as his mind registered the danger of falling and flying glass.

The sight of your partner "taking arms", or suiting up in his defense against you...

It absolutely shattered you. The coherent thoughts you wanted to share with your partner were as scattered as the shattered mirror glass.

Powerful emotions swirled and blurred into despair. You found yourself untethered from the sweet conversation, longing and desire with your partner - the serenity you had experienced here over the last day or so, with Marc and Jake.

The broken lamp sent the room into darkness and as you fell further into despair, you could no longer detect the white of Steven's suit, or see even the moon's glow through the window.

You thought you heard your name called, but it was galaxies away, the way a voice above the surface of a swimming pool sounds when you're underwater.

The sound faded and all that was left was the Dark.

next

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[ganymedesclock]

for the character ask meme, and apologies if you'd rather not engage with SU content any more, Rose Quartz?

First impression

It honestly took me a while to really pay much attention to Rose; I don't think this is a thing to her detriment, but rather, an actual excellent statement of how she's introduced in such an omnipresent manner that it's only over time that we really start to process her as a person.

I think, early on, the main moments that really made me perk up my ears about her was the gorgeously atmospheric scene in An Indirect Kiss where Steven curls up in the statue's arms- I think it's just such a beautifully effective illustration of how it feels to try to have an emotional relationship with someone who you only really have access to the pedestal she left behind, but that's not really about Rose herself.

So the biggest moment that made me initially go "!" about Rose was the moment in Story For Steven where she floats down in front of Greg and it's a really obvious and deliberate visual homage to an iconic shot of Princess Serenity from Sailor Moon. It was a big part of why I couldn't ever totally buy the claim some characters made that she was Just A Normal Soldier.

Impression now

Having Rose's whole story out, I honestly really love Rose as a character. I think she's fascinating for her complexities and flaws, and the deeply impactful and tangled legacy that she left behind due to her self-destruction. She's a masterclass not only in said legacy, but I also think it's really cool how SU uses its powerful visual and auditory coding with characters and events to make Rose feel uncannily alive throughout the entire series- the way information about her is disseminated even gives us a sense of her growing and changing along with the others. In a way, Rose is a ghost that haunts the series and I don't think that's a coincidence considering the potent use of horror imagery and the unsettling ambiguity of episodes like A Storm In The Room.

And I'm a sucker for a good ghost story.

Favorite moment

Whoops I guess I already listed a few. Honestly, there's a lot of options- I kind of love that Rose's story is "made of moments", in the sense that we only ever see or hear her specifically through someone else's perspective. To list a specific one I didn't drop earlier: I really like how stage lighting is used in We Need To Talk to depict Rose (and Rainbow) as almost inaccessibly ethereal, haunting and strange when she's fully immersed in it during the music video- but then when there's her and Greg's romantic dance later, she's half-in and half-out of that idealized pink lighting, and the rest of the beach is steeped in deep blues.

I love the color pink- part of it is, something I'm coming back to emotionally after going through that childhood phase where you start to realize that people treat "girly" things and "boyish" things differently and get afraid of the former- but I also think pink gets underutilized and underexplored when it can have a lot of interesting contexts. And SU uses pink a lot- it's an aspect both Steven and Rose share, and both of them have really interesting relationships with it. I think one of my favorite things about older Steven's pink jacket is that early on, he has a very simplistic, flat, "plastic toy" kind of pink- it reads loud and obvious with strong contrasts. It's very warm and almost reddish.

In contrast, Rose is given a much paler, ethereal pink- a much more complicated pink, with many different subtle shades to convey her ghostly style.

Older Steven's pink jacket is actually a lot more like Rose's- it's a subtle baby-pink with white accents. When contrasted against the underlying black shirt and still striking/vibrant yellow star, it doesn't suggest he's a continuation of Rose- but to me, it is kind of a nod that as he grows up, he's becoming more complicated himself- which isn't a bad thing at all. It's an inevitability of growing up.

Idea for a story

SU is one of those franchises I think I will always remember warmly and may revisit but for now, the interest has cooled. I think in some ways, this is also that it did a very good job- I'm in many ways satisfied with the stories it told, and am not in a huge hurry to retread or unravel others. That may change, I'm not sure!

Unpopular opinion

While I hardly think this is the only reason that people dislike Rose- the thing about complicated characters is that they challenge the audience more directly to form opinions about them and "I don't like this person" is a valid opinion- I think that there is a phenomenon in a lot of pop culture fantasy where we're used to complex flawed dads with magical legacies. It's a well-established role.

But there's an expectation that assumes that the mom's job, more than the dad's, is to stay home and be emotionally accessible and raise the kids- so if you reverse the roles, even if there's the same amount of love and attention for the kid's life, people can sometimes act very betrayed that the mom kept secrets or had darkness or wasn't a pillar of comfort and benevolence, because that's her job.

If daddy was too busy to be a father to you because he had a magical destiny it's fine, but if mommy wasn't much of a mom for the same reason, mother is evil and must be destroyed.

I'm not sure what's the answer to that; I feel like it's a bit of, we should probably be careful what assumptions we make about a mother's role and ask ourselves if we'd be this mad if it was a father instead- but it's also a bit of maybe we should be madder at negligent fictional dads because I've seen some truly horrible ones get given breathtakingly generous benefits of the doubt.

Rose was a deeply flawed and complicated person and she's both profoundly sympathetic and someone who made some genuinely terrible decisions that the people she left behind, including her son, had to bear the weight of. I think it's inevitable that she's going to be and remain a very contentious character to a lot of people, and I don't think that's a bad thing.

Favorite relationship

Rose and Greg are honestly a really darn cute couple, and I feel like an excellent example of how much you can enrich any fictional relationship by asking yourself serious questions about what drew these people to each other. The extent to which Greg and Rose share certain key flaws- and how much of a perspective Greg has about who Rose was, without being the secret keeper with all the answers- is phenomenal.

I feel like I have to also mention Rose and Pearl here, because not only is that also an extremely interesting and complex relationship but I just, really like the way that crewniverse fielded a love triangle while avoiding a whole bunch of the usual frustrating garbage about it.

Favorite headcanon

Oh jeez, I haven't dusted off this corner of my brain in so long and I want to come up with a good one.

Hm. Here goes: I think if you rendered Rose in a more heavily detailed/realistic style, I like the idea that her eyes would have a slightly unsettling reflective property where in bright lighting they look perfectly black but as light sources move and shift / vary in properties they have a pink undertone/glare to them.

[mahalshairyballs]

MoonKnight playlistPt6

Here you can find the first parts with the first songs

Here are Part 5 & Part 7

.

Beautiful Crime - Tamer

Okay, this song. Has been a Daredevil song for me since it was attached to the first ever Netflix Daredevil trailer. It has a strong emotional connection to Daredevil for me, it can be for nothing else. However, it's kinda a ship song? But no ship I had with Matty really fit it ?

Until

Until I started to think about Matt/Marc

Don't you think it'd be a perfect Matt/Marc song ? Two angsty boys together 🤍🖤❤

'Each step I left behind

Each road you know is mine

Walking on a line ten stories high

Say you'll still be by my side

If I could take your hand, oh

If you could understand

That I can barely breath, the air is thin

I fear the fall and where we'll land

We fight every night for something

When the sun sets we're both the same

Half in the shadows

Half burned in flames

We can't look back for nothin'

Take what you need say your goodbyes

I gave you everything

And it's a beautiful crime

Each breathe I left behind

Each breathe you take is mine

Walking on a line ten stories high

Fear a fall, you're asking why

Leaving the things we lost, oh

Leaving the ones we crossed

I have to make an end so we begin

To save my soul at any cost

[...]

This darkness is the light

[...]

.

Down to the bottom - Dorothy

This one would be a Marc one I guess? I don't feel as strongly about that songs than other songs in here. Ans there's not a lot of lyrics lol.

'Baby I need light

I need fire

I need to know that I'm alive

I need love

Baby, I need love

I need loooove

[...]

Baby, I need help

She calls my name

Out in the desert

I pray for rain

I need love

[...]

.

The Fastest Way Back Home - Frank Turner

I see this song as a sort-of duo by Marc & Steven to Layla. Some lyrics fit more one than the other, some other lyrics goes for both. So it's a steven/marc/layla song. Most of the lyrics work really well.

'I should have seen you were coming

I should have been prepared

After all, getting half of what you wish for isn't so rare

But still I wasn't ready

You took me by surprise

You brought a light to my dark

Like a word from the wise

We fell in love in the summer

When the skies were clear

But I'm still wearing my coat

From winter last year

I need to set my house in order

[...]

I need to make a home for you

Before inviting you in

Weather wears the mountains right down into the sea

So I will stand in the rain until I am clean

Rivers carve the country, a landscape shaped by a stream

So I will swim in the river as long as you need

Darling oh my darling you know

That everything that I do

Is to try to make me good enough for you

Darling oh my darling

You know that everywhere that I go

I'm just trying to find the fastest way back home'

.

Goodbye - Greg Laswell

This is a Marc song. And it's very specific to a moment in Marc & Layla's life. I really see this song as something Marc would be thinking when he decided to leave her/not come back to her that time.

'It was nice to meet you, goodbye

It's high time I quit wondering why

'Cause I have lost all that I can from my side

And when you think of me again, know

I tried, I tried, goodbye

Forgive me while I lay here

But I have nowhere else to be

I figure when I leave this time, it's for keeps

And when I'll say 'Good Morning' next,

I'll lie, I'll lie, this is goodbye

I'll only lay the day I can't remember you at all

(And it's not easy to say that day

Is already come and gone,)

And all that remains is a place,

Where you no longer are,

One day I won't regret this,

Oh, how I want to believe that's true

Once I pick up my parts I broke on you

I'll get used to the idea

It's not you, not you, goodbye

.

Guilty - Marina and the Diamonds

This is 110% a Marc. Like you switch father with mother and you take the lyrics about a dog metaphorically and it's impressive how well it fits him and his story.

'I was dreaming something dark

Hiding body parts

[...]

Oh, I'm a guilty one,

And I know what I have done,

Yeah, I'm a troubled one,

And I won't be forgiven

Guilty on the run

And I'm never forgiven

I was just a kid

That you could not forgive

Because it's harder

I was just a kid

And all I really wanted

Was my [mother]

[...]

Then suddenly it all becomes clear

I've been sorry all these years

[...]'

.

Heathens - Twenty One Pilots

This could be interpreted two ways, well with two different characters. It's a song about Marc introducing either Layla or Steven to his mercenary friends his only friends left for the first time. The lyrics that would fit more Steven are in parentheses.

It also reminded me of Deadpool's mercenary joint. I've seen Venom&Eddie/Marc system fic, but has anyone written a fic where Marc stops at Deadpool's mercenary bar ?

'All my friends are heathens take it slow

Wait for them to ask you who you know

Please don't make any sudden moves

You don't know the half of the abuse

[...]

Welcome to the room of people

That they loved one day, docked away

Just because we check the guns at the door

Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades

You'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you

You'll never know the murderer sitting next to you

You'll think 'How did I get here, sittingnext to you?'

But after all I've said, please don't forget

[...]

They say newcomers have a certain smell

(You have trust issues, not to mention)

They say they can smell your intentions

You'll never know the freak show sitting next to you

You'll have some weird people sitting next to you

[...]

(Watch it)

[...]

Why'd you come here? You knew you should have stayed

I tried to warn you just to stay away

And now they're outside ready to bust

It looks like you might be one of us'

.

Here are Part 5 & Part 7

Here you can find the first parts with the first songs

[ofmoonbeams]

introducing: moonbeam

pinterest. 

BASICS.

full name: noemi elara calliso

nicknames (if any): emmy, no (at least that’s what her mother always says to her)

gender / pronouns: cis female  / she, her

classification: human

abilities (if any): n/a

age: twenty-six

occupation: nursing assistant

PERSONALITY.

traits: selfish, insensitive, eager, determined, ambitious, adventurous, gregarious, unreliable

mbti: estp - the entrepreneur 

zodiac: cancer sun, leo moon, gemini rising

AESTHETIC.

hopping fences, staying in the shadows, black coffee, skinned knees, moonlight reflecting off a lake, vanilla and vetiver candles, your throat being raw from screaming into the void, wind in your hair, the fresh sounds and smells of a place you’ve never been before, desperately trying to remember places you have.  

HISTORY.

noemi was born to young human couple in district three, lucine and lee perrine. lee and lucine worked at the factory, but once lucine became pregnant with noemi, lee and her brother steven basically forced her to stop working, worrying that she would injure herself or lose the baby. so, she became a freelance tailor, repairing torn trousers or sewing buttons back on a coat. money was tight already when it was just the two of them, but once noemi was born, it was impossible to survive off of their income alone. 

so, lucine’s brother steven (who was known to dabble in the black market as it was), decided to go full force, scavenging the drylands and beyond for anything that was worth anything. practically all of the money earned from these endeavors went to raising noemi, and steven loved her as if she was his own daughter. 

lee hated this, he already didn’t like steven mostly because his wife always defended him (he was her little brother, after all). but it also hurt his sense of pride - the breadwinner with no bread, he hated the fact that he couldn’t support his family.

this continued for a few years, and when noemi was two years old, the callistos were on the hunt for two perfectly human babies. why two? greed, maybe. maybe so that when they wanted alone time, their children could entertain each other. maybe they just liked even numbers. anyway, lee was at dinah’s on his night off, after he got into a fight with lucine about finances, her brother, etc. the callistos, on their hunt for babies, overheard him venting to his friends about his situation, and gave him and offer: for a modest amount of money, they would take noemi and raise her as their own. lee didn’t agree right away, he said he’d have to talk to his wife about it and they would consider it. as one can imagine, lucine shot him down immediately. 

the callistos knew that their main source of income and the only thing keeping them afloat was steven’s dealings on the black market. so, they tipped off one of the watchers, and bribed him to make steven disappear. 

lucine waited by the window for three days after he said he would be back, but finally she realized that he was dead, and they couldn’t feed noemi. lucine was so distraught that she laid in bed for days, crying and ignoring the pleas of her toddler. lee took noemi and went to dinah’s, where he handed her off to the callistos. 

when noemi first arrived to her new home, she was confused. sure, she was pampered and fed beyond anything she had ever experienced, but she always asked where her mama was. trying to dispel the notion from her mind, the callistos always shot her down, telling her that they were her parents, and they loved her. and in their own way, at least at first, they did. they never harmed a hair on her head, they gave her anything she wanted that could be bought. but what she wanted most was her mother to tell her that she was proud of her.

noemi and saffira had the same tutors, did the same extracurriculars, and were always together. no matter how hard noemi tried, she just wasn’t as good as saffira at anything. she enjoyed piano, painting, learning languages (which she wasn’t half bad at), dancing. but slowly, her mother’s constant disappointment in her performance chipped away at her enjoyment of these hobbies, until she despised them all with a passion.

her and saffira debuted at the same time, but upon seeing that her mother paid absolutely no attention to her at all (indifference is worse than hatred, after all), noemi ran away to district two, where she stayed at dinah’s all night, watching and listening to people, even engaging in light conversation with them. it was magical to her, but on her way back home, she was accosted by a mutant, and it scared her so badly that she didn’t go back until a few years later.

noemi hated being bad at everything (or not being as good as saffira), and she was desperate to have something of her own. she begged her parents to let her get a job, and finally, through their connections with the hospital, they got her the position as a nursing assistant. now, noemi is not good at this, and her bedside manner is awful because she just asks questions that pop in her head and can be quite insensitive. but still, when you’re injured, a pretty young face can do wonders for morale. 

her experiences at the hospital made her want more, and soon enough, she started sneaking out again to go to districts two and three (though it took some time to build up enough courage to go to district three).

as of now, she still lives with her parents and saffira, but their lives are fairly separate. she holds a lot of resentment to all members of her family, but she still craves their approval. mostly, she just wants something that’s her’s, and that can’t be tainted by her parents or stolen by saffira.  

WANTED CONNECTIONS. 

the secret history: noemi’s entire life, she wonders who her true family is; of course, whenever she asks, her parents go on a long diatribe about how she was left alone, to starve and wallow in poverty, and how they saved her. but from what she remembers (which is very little, especially now that she is older), it was nothing like that at all. i think part of her doesn’t want to know what happened to her family, because she really doesn’t want her adoptive parents to be right. however, I do want her to eventually find out what happened to her family, whether they are dead or alive (could be interesting). perhaps someone recognizes her from when she’s little , or knew the family in some way? perhaps a childhood friend (who would have to be a bit older) sees her and something clicks?

radicalize me, baby: noemi has been going to district three more and more lately, and while her time is confined mainly to the boneyard and her visits with peter, she ventures out occasionally. she is incredibly curious about mutants, and wants to know more about them. i want someone to open her eyes to how awful it is to be a mutant, because all she sees is a different life than the one she has, which is incredibly restricting. it’s a bit “the grass is always greener on the other side” deal, and i want noemi to take her passion for mutants, and turn it into something more...destructive. she’ll be reluctant to at first, because her parents’ approval still (unfortunately) means a lot to her, but she’ll give it up eventually.

the parent she never had: noemi needs someone who believes in her, who sees her for her potential and her present. her mother is a master at chipping away her self esteem and making her want to do better to gain her approval at the same time. i want someone who could be a mother (or father) figure to noemi, who loves her (or will) unconditionally, because she deserves it. also someone to give it to her straight and try to make her more realistic and take care of herself, because the girl can be reckless.

teach me: this ties in to the wc above, but i want someone to teach noemi something she doesn’t know, or does know but is “bad” at. someone to really take the time to help her, and give her more confidence in her own capabilities. this could be anything from fighting to painting. i just want her to feel like she’s good at something (aside from sneaking around). 

ex flames, ex friends, flames, friends, people at dinah’s she’s talked to before, someone who knows she’s from district one, someone who doesn’t know or doesn’t care. her found family.

HEADCANONS.

dinah’s is the first place noemi went to outside of district one, and the warmth and friendliness and the life she encountered there made her feel at home for the first time. it’s a very special place to her, and probably her favorite place in metropolis.

used to play “hide and seek” with her mother when her mother’s friends would come over, basically ensuring noemi was out of sight and silent. her mother would then come up and find her and tickle her and noemi loved the game because it was a special thing she had with her mother. then, one night she snuck downstairs and saw saffira was allowed to engage with her parents’ friends, and she was heartbroken. still, she wanted to play the game because it made her feel special, and she loved getting the attention from her mother (sad hours).

noemi wants more than anything to be a mutant. she has hope that her family were mutants, and that her powers are simply dormant. spoiler alert: she isn’t. she’s completely human. this will tear her apart, especially when she finds out saffira has abilities (much much later). 

writes in a secret journal that she keeps under her mattress.

loves peter pan and would always play dress up with her sister where she was peter pan and saffira was wendy.

in general, her and saffira would dress up and play pretend and have little “adventures,” a memory noemi clings on to. she misses her sister, but years of (unfair) resentment towards her keep blurring that, and she could never admit it. 

loves sour gummy worms. 

got a tattoo out of rebellion, of course it’s a crescent moon on her hip. of course. 

[rosequartz-queen]

   Notes on Pink/Rose that we know of:

The youngest of the Diamonds. (White seems to be oldest, potential for Yellow-Blue to be same age (if not one slightly older than the other; I’d pick Yellow for oldest over Blue), then Pink.

It’s hinted at by Blue Diamond in Change Your Mind- while Steven has a dream-flashback of Pink in the tower- that Pink Diamonds antics were making White upset, threatening to take away her Pearl if they kept up.

(So “White” Pearl- aka Pink Pearl- was taken away for this reason? Replaced by this other Pearl- our Pearl- to keep her more in line, perhaps?)

Noteworthy that Pink has ALWAYS cared too much; she saved some animals/creatures from a planet either Blue or Yellow had as a colony. Saved them from death, but also set them loose during the Ball.

Edit: Just watched the flashback dream from Jungle Moon; I think those creatures were from the planet Yellow was conquering in that flashback?!? Geezums, Rebecca Sugar...

Also, Pink was locked away in a tower for her mischief on Homeworld, often subjected to Blue’s powers unintentionally as part of her “crimes.”

Spinel was gifted to her somewhere before Pink Pearl was taken away; Pink Diamond seems to have learned juggling from Spinel and shows off to her Pearl what she learned.

Also, Pink abandoned Spinel around the same time she was gifted her colony, Earth. (Apparently a crisp 6,000 years before the start of the show...if a little less, if we assume it’s a perfect six thousand by the time of the movie.)

Likely done as an attempt on Pink’s part to run away from her problems AND let go of “childish” things in one fell swoop. (Not accounting for how Spinel would feel about this, since it was likely PD assumed nothing of what could happen to her until far later, if at all. Also, we ALL know by now she’s horrible with figuring out emotions that other people deal with; other people’s emotional problems are a mystery to her on a deeper level.)

PD obtains Earth and Pearl, likely as help to get work done. (Could this mean Pink went without a Pearl for a few hundred/thousand years? It’s possible, since it’d be like taking a toy away from a troublesome, disobedient child... Except that “toy” is a living being all their own. The Diamonds are fucked up.)

However... Colonies are actually SUPER boring. Pink realizes this too late, as well as the fact she’s not allowed to make friends with her new, growing court. (Blue and Yellow are looking over her shoulder a LOT; where’s White??)

Cue Pearl helping Pink realize the freedom she could have by disguising herself as a Rose Quartz to hang with the Amethysts. Whoops Number 1.

Rose- in this way- learns about the beauty of Earth. Because her sympathetic butt doesn’t want to hurt the Earth anymore, this starts up a new phase: Pink doesn’t want to continue the colony nor the plans for it. However, Blue nor Yellow won’t have her backing out now.

It’s shown Blue COMPLETELY shuts her down. (Can’t Go Back) Yellow isn’t even looking at Pink... Very likely was yelling at her/getting into a screaming match over the colony. (Yellow very much has a temperament; we’ve seen this before.)

“...too many organics...cities too hard to dismantle...” Sounds like Pink’s been thinking of every excuse in the book to save this planet.

Blue even gave her the idea. If Pink isn’t there to rule...guess it’s nobody’s planet then, is it?

Bismuth likely came up with the Breaking Point around this time, wanting to shatter the Diamonds. Rose, who didn’t want internal fighting nor to be LITERALLY SHATTERED, could only find one solution: attack Bismuth when she argued her literal point, then bubble her, hiding her gem away in Lion’s mane.

(Lion existed around this time, too?!? Rose, what the he-)

Cue the eventual “shattering” of Pink Diamond. (A Single Pale Rose) This allows her to be Rose Quartz full time; no more Pink Diamond.

This registers with her gem as a new form, as well. (Can be seen in Change Your Mind.) However, doesn’t stop her gem from being a full Pink Diamond... Thus, the poofing problem. (And why Pearl got so sacrificial over Rose during this time.)

Cue the Corruption Song. This marks the “end” of the war, but no side wins. Rose and the remaining CGs are stuck on Earth with no way back. Their forces- Homeworld and CG alike- corrupted with no cure. The Diamonds mourning the “death” of Pink Diamond.

It’s unknown if Rose realized what she meant to the Diamonds after this. Either way, it didn’t matter; she couldn’t confess anything, anyways. She wouldn’t want to, either.

Rose gets a shitton of boyfriends and girlfriends and datemates. She seems to love Pearl- on occasion- but also doesn’t take anything seriously, leaving her pining Pearl on the sidelines while she has short-lived (literally) relationships left and right. For thousands of years.

Some time during (or before?) this, the Temple is founded. (Definitely wasn’t during the war, but also in time for Amethyst to have fused with everyone, creating Obsidian, who is the Temple Fusion. Also was before the first Dewey landed in Beach City.)

I also personally HC that Rose’s Fountain was the main hub of Crystal Gem activity during the war. It’d certainly make healing cracked gems easier, if Rose wasn’t around to personally do so.

Greg eventually shows up and turns everything on its head.

Originally treated like all the other humans- a toy-like or pet-like commodity to play with and not take seriously- it’s him pushing her to become...human. To realize what it means to REALLY love and care about someone...and that means equivalent exchange. Give back what you’re given.

This very likely blossoms into a relationship where Greg does a lot of teaching for Rose, helping her be more mindful and kind... However, considering her background at the hand of the Diamonds, it’s incredibly likely she still slipped up and said some insensitive things, on occasion.

Greg confirms to Steven that Rose tried to tell him everything at a later date. (Steven’s Dream) Greg potentially knew Rose had been Pink Diamond? Though it sounds like he either stopped her before she admitted it or heard as much as she wanted to say, stopped her from rambling, and then- more or less- forgot about it. (Judging by how he responds to Steven, however, I’d say she told him, he knows, but he still doesn’t care.)

Meeting baby Sourcream influences Rose to want a child of her own. Immature when meeting the little guy, but now determined and excited to make new life with someone she loves.

Rose is many, thoughtless things, but I still strongly believe in Lion 3: Straight to Video and Storm in the Room; Rose was far more invested in a child who was half her, half Greg....all new. There was no intentions to run from old problems with Steven/Nora, nor have her child have to DEAL with those problems.

She sincerely believed the problems were over with. The Diamonds would never come back to Earth. The war was over, Earth safe. The Crystal Gems weren’t needed, including her...and Spinel was likely forgotten due to everything that had happened.

Her last act of “cruelty” would be to leave the remaining Crystal Gems behind, but it’s also a little unfair to put the blame on Rose. In trying to set everyone free, she accidentally put herself BACK in the role of the idolized leader. Something she’d been trying to run from as PD. Pearl had never gotten past her programming, Garnet was inspired by Rose, and Amethyst...saw Greg as her best friend and Rose as a mom-figure. (So she lost someone that was her world, and blamed him for it due to some emotional immaturity on her part. Not that I can blame her, either...)

Garnet can’t stop this, but can’t ask questions due to an accidental Diamond Command Rose issued. Pearl can do nothing but panic and cry and lash out in blind anger. Amethyst...very likely did her best to face facts and be excited, but the realization she’d be losing Rose hit her just as hard as the rest.

That’s BEFORE mentioning Greg... Poor guy met the love of his life and he has to watch her belly grow, knowing in nine months, he’ll have lost his love, gained a child, and have forever three other gems hovering over and around him. Judging him for a decision Rose made.

(I love Rose/Pink so much, but considering how codependent so many of her friends/followers were, I have to admit... It’s true. She is better off “dead” as she is... Nobody would have reached their full growth if she was still alive. Nothing short of her running away again would’ve changed them and- without meaning to- she kinda did just that by having Steven. She NEEDED to leave for them to find themselves and Steven to show them what they really need.)

(...But also, FUCK, give my son a break?!? JFC, he’s NOT YOUR THERAPIST...!!! #Let Steven Take a Long Nap 2k19 and 2k20.)

On a sidenote from the timeline: Love Like You is from Rose’s POV. It’s been said before, but I need to say it again.

“I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true, cause I think you’re so good, and I’m nothing like you.” ( @ Greg)

“Look at you go; I just adore you, I wish that I knew... What makes you think I’m so special.” (I can see this still being aimed at Greg, but I also imagine Steven a lot with this line; Steven also very much idolized Rose and I feel like she wouldn’t understand why her son would feel like he couldn’t match up or was so great. I truly feel that- later in life- Rose realized her flaws and is rightfully ashamed of them.)

“If I could begin to do something that does right by you, I could do anything, I could even learn how to love like you.” (More things at Greg. He was her biggest motivation...)

Also, this would make an interesting contrast to how Greg viewed Rose in the early years. RE: Destiny and Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart.

[e8luhs]

GEMINI.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY.

tracklist/annotations under the cut! and make sure you check out my other astro playilsts for your moon/rising if you like this one

I. GRATUITOUS ABYSSES / OF MONTREAL

am i on the verge of a really big breakthrough, or just another meltdown? gratuitous abysses, gratuitous abysses i've been looking for my friend she became an ocean just to watch me drown gratuitous abysses, gratuitous abysses 

II. BOY TOY / STRFKR

[instrumental]

III. TAKEN FOR A RIDE / TALLY HALL

one secondary smile to go that extra mile to make me feel today to make it go away! the chemistry is gone taken for a ride far away from you, no longer left inside

IV. IN MY HOUSE / LITTLE DRAGON

ooh, the fields are swinging ooh, the mountains ringing ooh, i hear them praying swaying, so ever-changing

V. MUST BE NICE / VARSITY

talking in circles (being there) i never let you know, 'cause you're so sincere

VI. MERCURY / SUFJAN STEVENS

and i am restless all that i've known to be of love and i am gentle, you ran off with it all and i am desperate all that i dream: where do you run, where do you run to?

VII. BIRDHOUSE IN YOUR SOUL / THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

i'm your only friend i'm not your only friend but i'm a little glowing friend but really i'm not actually your friend but i am

VIII. EMOTIONAL HAIRCUT / LCD SOUNDSYSTEM

i caught your eye when i stepped outside with my emotional haircut it seems that i've been misunderstood the look of grave concern in your eyes and your surprise at my emotional haircut it’s better to me, it's much better than it used to be

IX. THIS HEAD I HOLD / ELECTRIC GUEST

if i wanna be free, i gotta stop playing round and running from me cause all of the plastic products, shows, and woes they got my head feeling low, no room to grow

X. FOR OUR ELEGANT CASTE / OF MONTREAL

we can do it softcore if you want but you should know i take it both ways we can do it softcore if you want but you should know that i go both ways

XI. D.A.N.C.E / JUSTICE

under the spotlight, neither black nor white it doesn't matter! do the dance, do the dance as strong as you might, working day and night whatever happens, do the dance, do the dance

XII. ON THE REGULAR / SHAMIR

hi, hi, howdy, howdy, hi, hi! while everyone is minus, you could call me multiply just so you know, yes, yes, i'm that guy you could get five fingers and i'm not waving "hi" guess i'm never-ending, you could call me pi but really, how long till the world realize? yes, yes i'm the best, fuck what you heard anything less is obviously absurd

XIII. TRIBULATIONS / LCD SOUNDSYSTEM

everybody makes mistakes but i feel alright when i come undone you are not making me wait but it seems alright, as long as something's happening!

XIV. EVERY TIME I’M READY TO HUG / RA RA RIOT

well if you're just blowing smoke baby you’re like me you think it's just a joke i don't think you'd like me

XV. CLUCK / THE J ARTHUR KEENES BAND

[instrumental]

XVI. DAFT PUNK IS PLAYING AT MY HOUSE / LCD SOUNDSYSTEM

daft punk is playing at my house, my house i'll show you the ropes kid, show you the ropes got a bus and a trailer at my house, my house i'll show you the ropes kid, show you the ropes

XVII. DARE / GORILLAZ

you've got to press it on you you've just been thinking that's what you do, baby hold it down, there

XVIII. IN YOUR HEAD / NILUFAR YANYA

i can think what i want, i can feel what i feel; until you say it out loud, how will i know if it's real? and i can do what i like i'll never know what it means some validation is all that i need

XIX. I DON’T WANT TO BE FUNNY ANYMORE / LUCY DACUS

i don't wanna be funny anymore i don't wanna be funny anymore  lately, i've been feeling like the odd man out i hurt my friends saying things i don't mean out loud

XX. IF I EVER FEEL BETTER / PHOENIX

they say an end can be a start feels like I've been buried yet i'm still alive it's like a bad day that never ends i feel the chaos around me, a thing i don't try to deny i'd better learn to accept that there are things in my life that i can't control

[tom-star-co]

Spinel & Mina Loveberry

it’s so funny how similar Spinel and Mina Loveberry’s backstories are yet Daron Nefcy decided to have Mina stay the one-dimensional allegory for racism while Rebecca Sugar actually understood that Spinel lived through hell to become the villain that we saw in the movie and that Spinel needed help and Steven (the protagonist) was mature enough to realize that and wanted to help Spinel get over her trauma

meanwhile we have the nutcase that is Mina Loveberry who literally nobody acknowledges that she needs help until the very end of the series (except when its played off as a joke) and it’s literally fucking Moon of all people, Moon who literally used her just like Solaria had in order to get what she wanted, who wanted to help Mina (why gee, I wonder why... probably because she feels guilty about taking advantage of a Mewman experiment!)

like just... ugh. BRO IF WE GAVE MINA LOVEBERRY THE SPINEL TREATMENT I BET YOU HEADS WOULD BE DOING A 180 FOR HER AND HER REDEMPTION

because essentially... the fact that mina loveberry hates monsters wasn’t a core aspect of her beliefs from the start. its literally solaria’s legacy that’s instilled in her; and that’s because solaria was the only one who pretended to ever give a shit about her as far as we’ve seen in the series. EVEN THOUGH SOLARIA WAS USING HER AS A FUCKING SOLDIER AGAINST MONSTERS

and UGH. im still mad about this. the fact that so many people have come out and started demonizing Pink Diamond while sympathizing with Spinel has opened old cuts. Because these characters’ actions aren’t motivated by their beliefs (Spinel wanting to destroy Earth; Mina wanting to slay monsters); these characters’ actions are motivated by RELATABLE problems like losing a sense of purpose in life (Spinel not needed anymore to ‘entertain’ Pink Diamond; Mina not needed anymore as a soldier) or being the leftovers of a mess that someone else caused (again, PINK DIAMOND AND SOLARIA)

AND YEAH CALL ME A MINA APOLOGIST BUT ITS HONESTLY INSULTING THAT DARON NEFCY DECIDED TO FRAME SOLARIA AS THE GOOD GUY WHILE PORTRAYING MINA LOVEBERRY AS THIS ONE DIMENSIONAL METAPHOR FOR RACISM WHEN YOU LITERALLY PROVIDED A BACKSTORY THAT DID NOT CORRELATE ACTUAL RACISM TO HER FUNDAMENTAL BELIEFS

look at it like this: can you say, for certain, that spinel wanted to destroy the earth because she hated humans as a race? ....no. she did it out of bitterness and anger for pink diamond abandoning her. can you apply the same logic to mina loveberry? yes. you can. Daron, you messed up. or more like, you missed a big opportunity.

for a show about forgiveness, we gonna forgive solaria despite never having actually seen her change... at all. on the show. and she’s already dead. she died having a legacy of carving monsters. like this is so bullshit. she’s DEAD. it doesn t matter if she smiles at eclipsa’s monster baby, how can that make you forgive all the terrible shit she did against a race? AND SHE NEVER CHANGED WHILE SHE WAS ALIVE

mina loveberry, very alive character even after the magic was being taken away, the redemption arc is right there for the taking!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and lets not even delve into her mental illness because oh boy everyone treats it like a joke because i guess mental illness is a joke mmmmmmmmmm :) (and yes it is a mental illness. she obviously wasnt born crazy.)

so yeah. i guess ill end this off with a little tangent based off the newest Cartoon Network miniseries Infinity train (do not read the rest of this post if you haven’t seen infinity train): you know that part where tulip goes into amelia’s memories and sees everything and then comes out and basically yells “what the fuck why did you show me her memories! i dont want to see my enemy as a human! now i just... feel bad for her.”

Well, in the series it did serve a point. It contributed to the main message. Same as Spinel’s backstory... it served a point! What did Mina Loveberry’s backstory contribute to STVFOE’s message? nothing. literally only brought up more questions.

like why did every queen just leave mina the way she is. howw come no queen ever tried to reach out to her? were they just okay with her being a solarian experiment for eternity??? how is nobody concerned for this individual’s mental health???????????????? and how is this supposed to make me hate racism more??? how does this make her more racist even??????

thanks and goodbye. your mina apologist out. aka im sick and tired of seeing comments glorifying solaria for being the parent you should forgive and comments demonizing mina for being a psychopath monster killer who ‘deserved what she got’. 

[eerythingisshaka]

#Fictober Day 4

“Will that be all?”

(Erik Stevens x Black!OC)

Word Count: 1.6k

Sweet, sweet Friday night has arrived and Rochelle was ready to enjoy it to the fullest.  Having started her new job, the comfort of knowing everything and being the one to call on for help was flushed away and replaced with mounds of company orientations, piles of reading materials to learn programs and regulations, and constantly getting lost coming back from lunch.  She counted her blessings to have moved on from where she was before; she is getting more pay, better benefits and it was closer to home, so she was prepared to take on all of the newbie awkwardness and feeling like a know-nothing to keep her spot.  

But now was the time to unwind for making it through the first week alive, and she knew just how to let loose.  Rochelle got rid of her office attire, showered and put her hair in a protective style before wrapping herself up in her comfy clothes and favorite Proud Family blanket on the couch.  Her studying made her miss out on her fall TV coming back, but luckily God made Hulu a thing.  

Queueing up her list, she took out her hot chips and and sweet tea to dive into the latest drama that had cooked up since last season.

Rochelle’s phone lights up, indicating a text message.  She looks at the screen to read a message from her friend, Ayla.

Hey!  Congrats on the new money, girl!  Drinks on you tonight, let’s hit up karaoke!

Rochelle squirmed with indecisiveness.  It had been a while since her and Ayla got out together but she JUST got comfortable.

Nah, I just set my hair anyway.  But maybe tomorrow?

A few minutes later.  Really?  If you don’t put a scarf on your hair and Erykah Ba-do the damn thing!

Rochelle cackled.  She loved it when she could send an LOL after actually lol’ing.

LOL, ok girl.  I was raised not to give into peer pressure.  I’m putting my foot down on this.  I’m so damn tired, sis.

Ugggghhhh, fine.  But I’m hollering at you tomorrow, so you better come through!

Rochelle tosses her phone on the table, burrowing under her covers once again as she finally calls it as night.

Halfway through the first episode, Rochelle’s stomach started to growl.  She hadn’t made it to the store all week either to reload the fridge so chips, peanut butter, and cereal were mostly all she had to make a meal of.  Rochelle couldn’t fight the hunger pains any longer, but was too settled to go pick anything up.  There was a great restaurant around the corner from her that served the best wings, burgers, fries, and anything else, greasy and Americana for someone to indulge in.

Unfortunately, the restaurant didn’t do online orders so Rochelle stretched her arm out from the warmth of her blanket to pick up her cell phone and call in.  The phone rang and rang and rang.  Must be a busy night, you thought.  The line suddenly opens up.

“Yeah?  After I covered  your fucking shifts for the damn Teyana Taylor concert, you gonna do me like this?!  Pssh, whatever nigga.  Hi, whatchu tryna get?” a man on the other line demands.

Rochelle was taken aback from the unprofessional speech she was hearing.  It wasn’t a snooty restaurant, but usually some old aunty picks up sounding sunny and accommodating.

“Hello?!”  he says, irritated.

“Oh, uh yeah.  Sorry, um I wanted to put in an order with you?”

He chuckles.  “Yeah, well I didn’t think you were calling to ask me how my day was.”  

Rochelle clears her throat.  He had a nice baritone to his voice, you could tell he was a brother at least.  “Well with what I just heard, maybe I should?”

She hears some shuffling on the phone.  “Is this a prank caller or somethin?”

She laughs apologetically.  “No, no!  Sorry, I am hungry so damn hungry, please don’t make me wait for the phone to ring and ring again.”

“Aw, yeah, my bad on that.  Well, it’s really Ralph’s bad.  His wife Sadie usually takes the calls but she is taken a leave right now.  He isn’t a people person though so he will literally ignore the rings until someone gets sick enough to answer.”

Rochelle sits up, turning down her TV.  “And he’s into Teyana Taylor?”  

He laughs genuinely.  “Nah, nah, that was my boy, Phillip.  He was closer to the phone, and act like it’s too much to PICK UP THE PHONE!”  Erik yells, presumably to Phillip.

“Ah ok.  Maybe you’ll earn Employe of the Month, since you’re so damn helpful.”  Rochelle says, smiling to herself, playing with the fuzz on her blanket.

All she hears is background noise before he continues.  “...you cute.  You sound cute too, look, where am I gonna be delivering?”  he asks.  She hears the phone adjust again.

“Oh, you deliver too?  Jack of all trades and shit?”  Rochelle lays back on the couch as she lists off her address, unable to sit still with all this flirting going on.

“Baby, I do it all.  Don’t let nobody tell you different.  What’s your name?”  She gives it to him.  “Niiice.  Ok, whatchu need?  We can’t have you goin hungry on a Friday night.  You get paid, you eat.”

“I heard that!  Ok, so I need the one pound lemon pepper wings, fry them hard…”

He groans on the other line.  “You one of those high maintenance customers, huh?”

Her mouth slacks open.  “Excuse me sir!  What happened to ‘the customer is always right’?”  

She hears him kiss his teeth.  “Shiiiit, these customer is always right about to get a foot up they ass, asking for the moon and shit.  I got you though, don’t trip.  What else?”

Rochelle’s stomach begins to grumble again.  “Uhh, I need a side of fries, and a couple of them honey butter biscuits.  Go head and add a side of potato salad.  And do y’all have the fudge brownies tonight?  Y’all always run out of those-”

“Damn girl!  You eatin, eatin!  I ain’t mad at you, when you hungry, you gotta satisfy that.  Yeah, we got them brownies, don’t even trip.  You need a drink?”  His voice has gotten lower and sounds like he is talking right into the receiver.

His voice tickles her eardrum as Rochelle sits up at his inflection on the word ‘satisfy’.  He sounded so damn fine, she hoped it was real.  

“Nah, that’s ok, you been really helpful.”  She starts to dig in her purse for her wallet.

“Ok, I guess you got juice and shit already.  That’s cool.  Ok, anything else, Ma?”  He says, as you hear paper rustling.

“No, I’m good.  Can’t wait!”  

“Ok, your total is $15.78.  I should be by around...15 minutes.  Think you can wait on me?”  

Rochelle giggles.  “I got no choice!  What’s your name, by the way?”

“It’s Erik.  Glad to be of service to you this evening.  Hold tight.”

As they hang up Rochelle grips her phone in her hands anxiously.  What the hell was all of that?  She has never flirted with a delivery boy, much less while taking the order before seeing him.  But his conversation was so smooth, and his voice so deep, authoritative, but compassionate.  She brushes it off, but that doesn’t stop her from putting on some boy shorts instead of her Looney Tunes pajama bottoms.

The knock at the door jarred Rochelle, making her jump from her concentration on her show.  She gets up, checking herself in the mirror before opening the door with the chain on.

Looking up, she sees her helpful delivery boy, bag in one hand, scratching his beard with the other as he peers as her through the crack in the door.

His almost instantaneous smile at the sight of her made Rochelle flutter, his dimples were even more poignant than the golds in his lower teeth, making her chest cave in.  

“I hope I didn’t keep you too long, ma’am.  Your order still hot though!”  He smirks, raising the bag up.

Rochelle closes the door, working the chain with a speed untapped before.  He didn’t look like no cook she ever seen before.  They were always the biggest flirts with the ashiest appearance, but Erik looked like the Cinderella version.  Opening the door completely, a shared exchange of onceovers says what words can’t.

“So you certainly do deliver.”  Rochelle says, putting on her grown and sexy voice.

Erik shrugs.  “Like I said, I do it all.  I got you.”

“Where my drink then?”  Rochelle looks around him fruitlessly.

Erik holds his hands to his mouth.  “Ohhh, shit!  She got jokes!”

She holds her hand out as he hands the bag to him.  “You got change for a $20?”

He shakes his head, locs hanging in his eyesight a moment.  “Nah, you can hold onto that.”

Rochelle smirked, impressed by his generosity.  “But….won’t you get in trouble for being short or something?”

Erik kisses his teeth, drawing her eyes to his emotive mouth as he talks.  “I’ll just add it as my comped meal for my shift, ain’t nothin.”

Rochelle nods, holding the bag at her side.  “So...I guess that means no tip either….”

Erik bites his lips looking down at the floor.  “Eh, this can be my goodwill for the day.  That’s tip enough.  Will that be all?”

She hoped HIS tip would be enough. Rochelle stammered looking behind her and back at Erik.  “Well, you don’t have to be hungry and broke on account of me.”

Erik’s neck jerks back, as he makes a face.  “Aye, now, I ain’t never broke, hear me!  But I could eat, you know.”

Rochelle nods.  “I got plenty.”

Erik’s eyes travel downward.  “You do...and you my last order for the day, so I just got off…”

Rochelle stepped back from the door, as everything seemed to fall into place, allowing him to come inside.

[thewoollyviking]

Family Reunion, a Steven Universe fanfic

“You have to be the one to do it.” There was an awkward silence that carried throughout the entirety of the house, piercing its way through the gentle patter of rain outside striking the roof. Bismuth could hardly believe what she was hearing, trying to regain her composure after the initial shock, she tried to find the right words to say. “Let me get this straight” she said, trying to break down everything he had told her, “You think that Rose, or Pink Dia-whoever your… your?” she struggled to find the correct word.

“Mom.” Steven interjected, Bismuth was still having to get accustomed to using familial terms. “Right, ‘mom’. Whoever your mom was, is somehow still alive inside your gem, and that perhaps someone could go inside it, and establish some means to communicate with her, and even if this insane plan works.” Bismuth continued, “You picked ME!? Listen Steven, I owe you a lot, you’ve been a good and valuable friend to me, but this seems like kind of a tall order, even for me.” “Please Bismuth” Connie, one of Steven’s human friends spoke up, she could tell from the way they had been looking at one another and how Connie had been watching him from the sofa that it seemed more like Connie’s idea than Steven’s. Before Bismuth could respond, Connie spoke up again. “Steven has been telling me about how he found out about his mom, how he did so entering Pearl’s gem and meeting past versions of her. If this is consistent with other gems, it could be possible that she’s in there, and we know from Pearl’s cell phone that we might be able to speak to whoever’s in there. Steven has been finding more and more memories from his mom, when we went to that jungle moon and fell asleep as Stevonnie. Not to mention the Moon Base!” Ah yes, Stevonnie, the fusion between Steven and his friend, it was still a shocking revelation for Bismuth to imagine fusion being possible with humans. Connie continued to plead, “And if Steven can finally talk to his mom, that would be great for both of them!” The gem had to give her credit, the human was pretty smart, the way she put it, the plan almost made sense, except for one tiny detail. “Why does it have to be me though?” Bismuth asked, “I may not be in a big hurry to make another breaking point, but I still definitely have some unsaid feelings towards Rose.” “Well…” Steven began to look nervous, “because I don’t want the other gems to know, not Garnet, Amethyst, and definitely not Pearl, at least not until we find Mom.” Bismuth took a big sigh, he wasn’t saying it, but the kid was scared. He had told her a lot about what his thoughts were on Rose. How she used to really be his hero, about how he felt bad about being here instead of her at times, as he felt he was never able to truly master his powers. He said as much back when they found Bismuth’s gem in his Lion’s mane. But with everything he had found out about his mother, he had only feelings of betrayal and confusion. Steven breathed deep and got onto his knees, hands folded together. “Please Bismuth!” he begged, as he showed off what Garnet had warned her were his ‘puppy-dog’ eyes, “This would mean a lot to me!” Steven shot a quick glance towards Connie, as she gave a little smile and a nod in satisfaction. Bismuth tried to look away and ignore Steven’s begging, but she couldn’t stand much longer to see Steven look so glum. “O-okay, okay, just, sheath those killer eyes of yours. You’re going to make me cry!” “Oh my gosh! Thank you so much Bismuth!” Before the gem could even say anything in response, the half-gem boy immediately gave Bismuth a hug. The following day, Steven, Connie, and Bismuth had met at her forge, they gave their excuses to the others and departed, saying they were going to help forge a new sword for Connie. Upon entering the forge, Bismuth began to clear her workstation of unnecessary clutter, as the room echoed with the clang of swords and armor hitting the floor. The rainbow-haired gem then pulled out what appeared to be a smart tablet attached to what looked to be the remains of one of Peridot’s old robonoids. “The little fire-spitter and I have been working on a little project to try and combine human and gem tech.” Bismuth let go of the tablet, and much to Steven and Connie’s dismay, the limbs of the robonoid protruded from the body and began to spin rapidly, “This baby will get a decent signal almost anywhere, AND it’ll stay up on it’s own, even if you don’t have metal powers.” “Wow Bismuth!” Stars began to form in Steven and Connie’s eyes, “That’s so cool! Peridot must have been showing you how all the new gem tech works! Wait, isn’t that..?” “It’s okay, Steven.” Bismuth reassured, “I told her this was going to be used for something really important to you, and she’ll have to forgive me eventually. And she WON’T tell anyone, I made her promise.” The gem chuckled a little, she had been happy to have such an enthusiastic assistant at the forge, and she didn’t much mind to how talkative she was, Bismuth was just happy to have someone to keep her company when she worked, and the Lapis Lazuli seemed nice enough, but given their…history during the Gem War, they had agreed to keep largely to themselves. “So, if Rose is hiding in there, all I need to do is find her, right?” Bismuth grabbed a shoulder bag and slowly placed the tablet inside of it, careful not to drop it, destroying the delicate electronics within. Peridot was naturally upset, but when she told the tiny green gem that it was for Steven, she handed it to her almost without a fuss. “Okay, so how do we get in?” “Uhhh…” Steven began to look incredibly nervous, “I don’t… really know, when Pearl did it, she just tapped the surface of her gem, she did the same thing whenever she wanted to look for something she would stash in there.” The boy began to look distraught, “But I’ve been trying all morning. And I haven’t gotten anywhere.” Connie placed a hand on Steven’s left shoulder, “Hey, it’s okay.” she smiled, hoping it would make Steven a little happier, “Maybe think of it as like entering Lion’s mane.” Connie reassured, hoping the advice would help, “Just relax and clear your head. I’m here.” She held onto Steven’s left hand tight, as Steven placed his right hand onto his gem, he closed his eyes, and began to breathe slowly. Suddenly, his gemstone was glowing a brilliant shade of Pink, the light grew brighter and brighter until it began to blind everyone as it encompassed every corner of the room. “Bismuth! I think this is your que!” Steven hollered, while he covered his eyes from the blinding light of his gem. “Right! I’ll let you kids know when I made it in!” Bismuth stared at the Pink Pentagonal cut of Steven’s gem with determination, ignoring how much the light hurt her eyes, she allowed her physical form to be warped and collapsed until it was engulfed into the luminescent void. With a blunt thud, Bismuth hit the surface of whatever strange new hidden world she found herself in. She took a moment to get her bearings. She waited for her vision to clear, but was met with disappointment when she saw she was still within her forge, she sighed. “Well, sorry kids, I guess it just wasn’t-“ She turned to face her two companions, but neither were present, she had also seen the anvil in the middle of the room was gone, leaving only a hexagonal chasm in its place. “Oh-oh no.” She knew what this was. Steven had warned her that it would be like his journey through Pearl’s gem and that she would probably see some of his more unpleasant memories. But deep down, she hoped she wouldn’t see this again, but before she could pull herself together, she had already heard noise from the bottom of the pit. She knew what she had to do, Steven had informed her that she would have to find each version of him to go deeper until they found Rose, and even then, Bismuth still had no idea what she would do if she were to see her again. Opening her bag, she reached down and activated the tablet, she looked at her messages, one read, Bismuth, this is Connie, text me when you get this. Bismuth replied, I got ya, I’ll let you know when I find something. “-I would have liberated everyone!” Bismuth could hear the enraged echoes of her past shade, and looked away in shame. She remembered what she was going through. She remembered the rage she had towards Rose for bubbling her away. How she never told anyone where she was, how helpless she felt learning from Pearl and Garnet how everyone else was gone or later she learned ‘corrupted’. She felt she knew what was best for the Crystal Gems to be free from Homeworld. She clenched her fists in frustration. She just wanted to help her friends so much, but she never realized she would have doomed them all the same. Were it not for Rose’s shield, she may have truly been the last normal gem on Earth. “I’m going to tell them! I’m gonna tell them everything!” Bismuth couldn’t help but squirm a little seeing herself poof, that was the moment she realized her mistake, that Steven wasn’t Rose, he was her son, even now, there were hurdles for her to cross in trying to understand that, and thankfully, Steven showed his patience and understanding in overcoming them. She smiled lightly, he was a good kid, and it baffled her how someone like that could be so similar and yet so different from his mother. Her smile faded, she just wanted to focus on getting past this, to just leave it in the past and forget it. The sooner the better, she thought. “Uh… hey little man!” Bismuth tried to put on a friendly demeanor when approaching Steven, so as not to startle him. “Ah, please, I’m not my mom!” The boy stumbled back, hands touching the burning hot surface of the floor, as he shrieked in pain, but he continued to scurry away from the rainbow-haired gem. “No, wait, please, I’m not going to hurt you, I just wanna help!” Bismuth rushed to try and help the half-gem child to his feet, but Steven seemed to try and ignore the pain and kept scuttling away from each of the separated platforms, avoiding the burning lava. “Steven, STOP!” She finally caught up to him, annoyed with how she had to go through such a pointless chase to catch him, but as she held him up by his shirt, she could see his face. Her expression instantly softened. Tears were streaming down his face as he was lifting his arms to shield his head, his voice was cracked and hoarse. “P-please Bismuth” he whimpered, “please don’t hurt me.” Somehow, Bismuth felt like the smallest gem in history, this was the first person she had met in several thousands of years, Steven had opened his heart and his home to her, and here he was, in pain and pleading for his life. She hoped Steven had moved past this, and had come to really see her as a friend, but she found herself having to wipe her eyes as she came to accept that perhaps there will always be a part of the boy that will remember this. There was no taking it back, she did it, and all she and Steven could do to help was try to apologize and move on, she tried to think of what Pearl would say to him when he was upset. “Steven, baby, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, and I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s going to be alright now.” She brought him closer to her and cradled him in her arms. She could hear his tears creating lines of steam as they hit the floor. “I promise I’ll leave you be, but you need to help me get a little further into your memories.” Steven looked up at her, wiping his eyes, he nodded in understanding. He lifted his shirt to expose his gem and once again, it began to glow until it hurt her eyes. The light slowly died down, and Bismuth tried to focus her eyesight, as the blurriness faded, she could hear the gentle sound of ocean waves followed by the cawing of seagulls, the sun was only beginning to rise as the she picked up the sound of crunching sand to her right. She turned to see Steven in his pajamas holding an old video tape in his hand. He didn’t even seem to even notice her as he rushed passed her to meet two other humans at a building Steven had told her about called the ‘Big Donut’. “Sadie, Sadie!” He seemed to have something urgent to share with these particular people. She made her way to the door, wincing at the poor choice of fragile glass for the front of the building, would it kill humans to just go back to stone? She thought to herself. She opened the door, and looked around. Steven had told her what this place was, but she had still yet to make a proper visit. Eventually, she had found Steven and the shorter human in a back room, the dim glow of a television being the only light present. ��Steven, we can’t both exist.” Bismuth was startled to hear Rose’s voice again, but calmed herself when she realized it was only a recording on the TV, like one of Steven’s ‘movies’ they had watched together, but all the same, it was strange to know she was there, but not at the same time. She continued to listen, “I’m going to become half of you, and I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that me! Loving you and loving being you!” The rainbow haired gem had to take a step back, out of every thought she had about Rose, she had forgotten what had drawn her to Rose to begin with. When she first met her, she had seemed so kind and compassionate, how selfless she seemed. She thought to herself, she wanted to have this kid so bad, even if it meant she could never see him, never be there to help him grow. She didn’t know what to make of this, of Rose, but she knew she had more pressing matters at hand. “Steven? Buddy?” Bismuth was worried how Steven would react here, this seemed to be a memory from before they first met, how would he react? “Oh, sorry.” Steven chuckled as he wiped his tears, a now pretty familiar sight to her, but here it was different, he had an innocent little smile and appeared to be at ease. Bismuth saw from the purity of his face that he was touched by Rose’s words. “I was just… can I help you?” So he didn’t know her yet, she sighed, she didn’t know if she was emotionally ready for another apology. “It would seem I’m a little lost, and I think you might be able to help me.” “Oh.” Steven stood up, unbuttoning his pajama shirt, as his gem’s light quickly drowned out the light of the small television, and as quickly as it came, it faded. Bismuth’s vision went from being blinded by light to being blinded by unrelenting snow. She tried to only go in one direction and find out where she was, and discovered the dim porch light of a modern human home. She had never seen this place before, and Steven had never told her about another home he stayed at before. She looked around and saw a human with long hair, carrying a bag in one arm and something wrapped in a blanket in the other. He was walking towards the front door of the house. Bismuth squinted to see past the frozen maelstrom and recognized him as Steven’s… ugh, what was the word? Father! Steven’s father Greg! She marched through the snow, lifting her legs higher to overcome the rising snowbanks, as it crunched with every step. “Hey, you!” Bismuth tried to wave at Greg, he seemed to look softer, with more hair, was that normal for humans? “Oh, hey stranger!” Greg answered, trying to fumble through his pockets for his house keys to open the door. “Say, could you give me a hand, I don’t think either of us want to just stand out there in the cold.” Bismuth looked somewhat confused by his statement, but remembered that humans can’t survive in extreme temperatures. She wondered how ever they managed to last as long as they did, especially in a place that seemed to snow as bad as this place. She continued to trudge through the rest of the snow and finally entered the front entrance of the house. “Okay, let’s see, groceries, keys, bab- wait, WHERE’S STEVEN!?” Greg panicked as he tried to look everywhere to find his son. As he was doing so, a small, curly-haired, head emerged from the grocery bag, a strange plastic button of sorts covering his mouth. Bismuth tried to gently lift the small infant from the bag, holding it close to her. “Uh, Greg?” The human turned around, and let out an enormous sigh of relief, “Thank you so much, I don’t know what I’d do without this little man!” She carefully handed him the child, as he made sure to support his head. “This… is Steven?” Bismuth said in utter bewilderment. “Yeah, this is my son, he’s just a few months old, and who are you by the way?” Greg answered. Bismuth tried to find the best way explain this to the person inside Steven’s gem… inside Steven’s ge-no time to unpack that now! She told herself. “I, uh, knew his mother, Rose.” Bismuth tried, and failed, not to sound completely uncomfortable with how she spoke. “Is it okay if I stay here a bit?” “Sure!” chimed Greg, “I need to get a bottle of formula ready for Steven, just let him chill out on the sofa there and watch him.” Greg then walked off into the other room, she could hardly believe what she was seeing, she knew Steven was half human, and as such needed to eat and sleep regularly, but she had forgotten about how radically humans changed. To think this giggling, flailing, helpless little creature would go onto save the world, to free her… She smiled at him, he was really something, it seemed at least one of Rose’s plans paid off… her smile vanished. Steven tried to cock his head to look in Greg’s general direction, but he had already left to go to the kitchen. The small infant began to make a confused blubbering sound as if to form words, only for it to end in crying. Bismuth panicked, never having taken care of a baby, she tried to think of what to do to calm him down. “Hey, hey, it’s okay little Steven! Greg’s not gone, he just went to get ya something. Relax.” Her words fell on deaf ears as Steven continued to wail uncontrollably, “Try holding him, he loves people!” Hollered Greg from the other room. The Rainbow-haired gem proceeded to follow Greg’s advice, carefully lifting him up and making sure to support his head, just as he had earlier. “See, it’s not so bad now, right?” Steven had finally stopped crying and had managed to calm down. Bismuth took a sigh of relief until she felt something grab onto one of her individually colored dreadlocks and pull tightly, it didn’t hurt, but it certainly caught her off guard. “What, hey! Let go you little troublemaker.” Bismuth jerked her neck to free her hair from the infant’s grasp, he was laughing, unaware of who the stranger was, but felt happy to see a friendly face, as the child giggled and continued to pull, his Gem began to glow. The gem knew it was time to go and set him down on the sofa once more. “What the, is that normal!?” Greg had returned from the other room, a warmed baby bottle in his hand. “This is.” Replied Bismuth, pointing to the glowing gemstone. “But this may be a little strange.” The light once again encompassed the gem as she was blinded by a radiant pink light. Bismuth tried to take small steps, right away, she could tell she was walking uphill, the crisp, fresh spring air clued her in that she had gone back further again, as the season here was different from the howling cold of winter. She deduced that since the last memory was when Steven was very young, if this wasn’t a sign she had found her, she didn’t know what was. She walked over to the edge of the cliff, and was taken aback to see what was laid out before her. She could see the full expanse of the town, from the boardwalk, to the lighthouse, and poking out from around the corner, the arms of the temple. She couldn’t believe there was such a place to see the whole town from down below, the people down there unaware of their silent observer, it all seemed so calm and peaceful. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a rain of pink flower petals rain down from the sky, she gasped as the brilliant array of color descended to the unsuspecting town below. Sprinkling across the entire landscape, it was almost enough to bring a tear to her eye. She felt more than willing to lose herself to the spectacle before her, until she heard the sound of footsteps behind her. “Bismuth?” She immediately snapped out of her trance and tried to search for the source of the voice. Finally, she met eyes with a woman with large, curly pink hair and a white flowing dress. “Is that really you?” The Rainbow-haired gem knew this was likely coming, she tried to find the right words, she knew right now, not matter how she felt, she was doing this for Steven, and for once she would do HIM a favor. “Yes Rose, it’s me, and not just some memory, I got here by going through your sons memories.” “You… you did?” Rose seemed honestly shocked by what she was telling her. “Look, Bismuth, I know you’re angry, but please, Steven didn’t do anything to you!” Bismuth winced, she wanted to try and retort, but she continued to feel guilt over her first time meeting Steven. Even if she harbored no ill will toward Steven now, she still felt something inside her sink at Rose’s request. “I don’t want to hurt Steven.” Bismuth tried to calmly reassure her, “I actually came to give you this.” She reached into her bag and pulled out the tablet handing it to Rose. Rose looked at the small, thin device, the remains of the robonoid seemingly shoved into the back of it as wires and circuitry lay bare and exposed, “Bismuth, I… I can’t.” Rose turned away, putting her hand over her mouth. “What!?” Bismuth was confused, Rose clearly loved Steven, and she knew she wanted to be a part of Steven’s life, logically, she should want this more than anything. “What do you mean you can’t?” “I’ve hurt him.” Rose’s eyes began to tear up, “You don’t understand, it’s all my fault! All I wanted for my baby was to be happy, to have a life outside of the mess I made!” Rose futilely tried to wipe her eyes, but the tears were overflowing. “He and his friend’s lives are in danger because of the lie I tried to so hard to keep secret, I thought I could just bury the past. And now that Steven knows the truth, I don’t know what I can say to make it up to him. My baby will grow up to hate and resent me because I… I’m such a terrible mother.” Bismuth was aghast at the sight before her, she remembered seeing this gem face up against armies of Homeworld gems with a smile, she would laugh at the prospect of even facing the Diamonds themselves, her resilience on the battlefield, the sight of her shield was a sign of strength. Now this same gem was broken, sobbing in front of her at the simple prospect of meeting her own child. Bismuth took a deep breath, and gently took hold of Rose’s hands, as they were busy covering her eyes. “Rose. If you could. Just. Get. A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!” Rose looked at Bismuth, her crying stopped by her shock at Bismuth’s sudden change of tone. “Who are you? I came here looking for Rose Quartz! You see her around here? Because I sure don’t! The Rose I knew was the toughest, most stubborn gem I ever met, there were times where it seemed like not even White Diamond would make you budge. But clearly all I found was some sobbing sad-sack, happy to keep beating herself up for all eternity about mistakes she made in the past. The Rose I knew wouldn’t be cutting herself off from the people she loved just because she was scared those people would be mad, and maybe they are! I of all gems have the most reason to be angry with you! You bubbled me away and told nobody about what happened, stole a number of millennia from me that I will never get back! I still have half a mind to lay you out right now, but I won’t! Because I’m following your son’s example, and I’m putting what I want aside for what he needs, like he has for me for as long as I’ve known him!” Rose looked away, trying to compose herself, but before she could get her bearings, Bismuth chimed in once more, “And do you want to know the worst part?” “I’m sure you’re about to tell me.” Rose’s voice cracked as she looked down in shame. “You have a terrific son!” Rose looked up, taken aback by her statement, “He’s sweet, loving, patient, everything that YOU wanted to be, everything I THOUGHT you were. And he may not say it out loud, but he is DESPERATE to see his mother. I would have wanted someone better for him to go to be his mom, but you are gonna have to do! Regardless of whether he hates you or not, you need to be there and support him as he helps clean up your mess and grows to be the gem you always wanted to be! Now listen, do you love your son?” “Y-yes.” Rose was still reeling from Bismuth’s words. “I said DO YOU. LOVE. YOUR SON!?” “More than life itself!” Rose shouted, sounding just a touch indignant at what she thought the other gem was implying. “Then tell him, and for once, you’ll be telling the truth!” Bismuth raised the tablet, and entered a text to Connie before quickly handing it to Rose. A light began shine once more, and Bismuth saw before her flashes of the previous memories, of Rose’s last time seeing the moss bloom over Beach City, of Steven being an infant under the care of Greg, of Steven hearing his mother’s voice and seeing her face for the first time, to when Bismuth had attacked him in her forge. Finally, she plopped onto the floor of the forge, dizzy and lightheaded. “Bismuth, did you find her? Did you find Rose?” Bismuth held her arms out to her sides and tried to steady her balance, she turned to see Steven sitting on the floor, looking flush and tired, Connie supporting his upper body. “Steven started hyperventilating like he was sick, Pearl wasn’t like this, what’s wrong with Steven?” Bismuth’s mind cleared as she rushed to scoop Steven off the floor, his body was completely limp and weak, he had told her he wasn’t like other gems, his body was organic, and could break down when stressed, it seemed like the strain of their experiment had been quite a tremendous burden for the child. “Steven? Steven, can you hear me? It’s Bismuth, I’m back. I got you, buddy.” The half-gem boy groaned, as if stirred from a nap. “Bismuth?” His voice was so weak, she could just barely make it out over the ambiance of the forge, “Are you okay? Did you find anything? Was she in there?” Incredible, she thought to herself, I ought to be asking him that, where does this kid get it? “Yes Steven, I found Rose. She has the tablet. Let’s get back to your place and see if we can finally contact her.” It was getting close to sundown, Connie was on the phone with her parents, telling them she was going to spend the night at Steven’s house. Steven’s back was against the foot of the bed, his body wrapped in bed sheets as he held a small glass of water in his hands. Bismuth had never had to care for a human before, so she just asked Steven what she could do to help him, and simply did as he asked. “Hey, I know you’re not quite back to full strength yet, but you wanna try calling Rose?” Steven turned his head to face her, the lines under his eyes were plain to see. “I… I don’t know, when you were in there, I was kind of scared. Scared that you might actually find her.” The gem looked confused, “What do you mean?” “Well…” he took a quick sip of his water and gently placed it on the floor beside him, it did little to help his voice, as it still seemed weak from the ordeal, “After everything I’ve found out about my mom, I had been thinking, about why she had me. I mean, she lied about who she was, about what happened to you, everything, what if she just wanted to have me so she wouldn’t have to deal with her problems. I me-“ “Let me stop you right there, young man.” Bismuth crossed her arms and looked Steven right in the eye, what she was about to say was something she wanted him to take to heart. “Your mother did hurt a lot of people, and she did do things that were self-serving, but if there is one thing I could still thank her for, one good thing that she did, it was having you. She made a lot of mistakes, but don’t you DARE think you’re one of them!” Steven’s eyes were wide with shock, he needed a moment to fully absorb the gem’s statement. “Steven?” Bismuth felt concerned by his silence, did she say something wrong? However, before she could say anything else, Steven leapt out of his sheets, and into the gem’s arms, silently weeping. “I love you too, Bismuth.” She tried to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes, with a deep breath, she set Steven down. “Okay, let’s go call your mother.” They pulled out Connie’s laptop, Steven noted it would be better to place it away from any ledges where it might fall and break. They opened the videophone app and waited, it showed there was indeed a signal, it continued to try and reach, but after a few long minutes, nothing. “Maybe you forgot to tell Rose how to respond to calls?” Connie tried to reassure the group, but it didn’t stick. “Let’s try again.” Steven said, a look of determination taking over his features. They called again, each passing moment feeling like an eternity. Once again, the call failed to connect. Steven sighed, and sat down at the foot his bed again. “Hey, it’s alright, there wasn’t anything you can do to make her do this, it’s her loss.” “Thanks Bismuth.” Steven said, the feeling of defeat clear from his expression. “Hey, don’t worry about it Steven.” Connie sat to his right, trying to comfort him, “You still have us, right?” Steven smiled, but it was clear he was still very upset. “Hey, if you want to call your mom, maybe you can get home before it gets too dark outside.” “Are you kidding? And leave you like this? What would you do without me?” Connie jokingly stated. Steven couldn’t help but chuckle at the remark, “Yeah, I guess I would be pretty lost without you.” Connie leaned over to shut off the laptop, before it suddenly flashed and a window popped up on the screen, someone was trying to call them. “Is it who I think it is?” Connie said, with the look of disbelief in her eyes. “Let’s try.” Steven said, curious to see who was on the other end. Connie clicked on connect call, and in a moment, Rose’s face showed on the screen, as she looked surprised to see the group that met her gaze. “Steven?” She said, hardly believing that she was truly speaking to her own child for the first time. “Mom?” Steven said, as he crawled closer to the screen. “Oh Steven, I… I’m so, so sorry.” Rose was starting to get choked up, as she fought to hold back the tears, “I’m sorry about everything, I should have told you-“ “mom.” Steven tried to interject, but Rose continued. “-, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness-“ “mom!” “It’s okay. If you need someone to be angry at, baby, it’s m-“ “MOM!” Rose was startled by the sternness of Steven’s voice as she covered her mouth with her hand. “I don’t hate you! Okay? I… I just want to talk, this may be the only chance I may ever get, and I want you to be a part of my life!” Rose’s expression began to shift from shock, to relief, to absolute grief, the tears she tried so hard to contain began to stream down in earnest, as she broke down into a sobbing mess. “I love you Steven, I love you so much!” Steven smiled as he wiped the tears from his eyes and cleared his throat of the knot that seemed to have found its way there. Rose tried to take deep breaths, she wiped her eyes and cleared her throat, and as she did she looked to Steven’s right and saw a young human girl next to him. “That’s Connie, right? The girl that you like?” “Mom…” Steven groaned, his embarrassment clear as his face turned as red as a cherry. “Oh! Sorry sweetheart!” Rose quickly apologized, “I’ve seen you two together through your gem, and she seems lovely, you two are so sweet together.” Connie’s face began to blush as well, Bismuth chuckled a bit. “I’ve been able to see your whole life from inside here, there were so many times where I wanted to say something, and I felt so helpless for the last few years, as you continue to suffer for the follies of my youth and naiveté. If there is any way I can make up for this, just say it, please, I’ll do anything, sweetie, name it!” “There is one thing I want you to do.” Steven said, “But we’ll have to wait for a bit…” Steven had gotten himself comfortable on the sofa, Connie booted up the laptop computer to help get everything prepared for when the other gems arrive. Bismuth decided Steven and his friend had earned a treat, tossing in two whole pizzas into the oven and using her shape shifting to transform her hands to do so more easily. She closed the oven and looked to check on Steven. He still looked flush, but nothing a good night sleep wouldn’t help finally cure. “Hey, you sure you want to have her do this?” “Yeah.” Steven retorted, taking another drink of water, “after mom talks to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, I want her to talk to Blue and Yellow Diamond next. I know how you feel about them, and so you don’t have to be there for that talk.” “Maybe I do.” Bismuth said, “That sure was a strange request to ask Rose, to talk to everyone else, don’t you have anything else you wanted to say to her?” “I do.” Steven asserted, “But I can do that later, right now, I think it would be better for the others to have some closure first. Besides, I’m sure it will help the Diamonds realize I’m not my mom.” Bismuth chuckled, “Steven, you’re a good kid, thanks for having me here. Just know that from now on, you might not be able to get rid of me, I want to help you grow up into a great leader, and I know I’m not alone in that goal.” The sun had finally set, and at last, the other worldly hum of the warp pad rang throughout the house as a light came to illuminate every corner of Steven’s domicile. As it faded, three figures emerged, the thinnest one, Pearl, spoke up. “Steven, we’re back, we’re very sorry for taking so long.” She looked to see Steven sitting on the couch, the color on his face somewhat pale and Connie sitting to his left. “The Diamond’s attack on the temple disturbed more bubble gems then we may have realized.” Garnet said bluntly, before seeing Pearl rush to Steven’s side, placing the back of her hand on his forehead to check for a fever. “Whoa, Ste-man, you okay?” Amethyst chimed, sounding concerned. “He’s okay, deep-cut.” Bismuth responded, standing behind the kitchen counter, as she pulled two pizzas out of the oven. “He and I decided to test a theory today, right little buddy?” The rainbow-haired gem cheerfully said. Steven smiled back and nodded, “I have something to show you.” Steven opened a videophone window in the computer, and began to connect to a signal on the other end. In the span of a few minutes, another face emerged. “Hello, everyone, I’m sure we all have some catching up to do.” Responded the sultry, soothing voice of Rose, the gem who was once Pink Diamond. -Fin.

[captaintoomanybattles]

Just Because You Can

Epilogue: Beyond Compare

One Month Later:

They’re camped out in the middle of nowhere, but Carter is supposed to rendezvous with them tomorrow, and Steve is vibrating halfway out of his skin with excitement and nerves. Bucky doesn’t mind; he’s had Steve all to himself for the past month, and he doesn’t begrudge Carter the next couple of nights. That doesn’t mean he wants to put up with Steve’s fidgeting, though.

“Steve, relax. Fussing ain’t gonna make her come any sooner.”

Steve sighs. “I know, I just... I’m nervous.”

Bucky raises himself on his elbows to get a good look at him. “Is this about sex?”

“Bucky.”

“Well?”

Steve slumps against Bucky’s side. “Maybe a little.”

“You two haven’t--?”

“No! I don’t even know if she wants to.”

Bucky sits up properly, so he can wrap an arm around Steve’s waist from behind. “Stevie. Honey. Doll. That woman wants to eat you alive. I really don’t think you need to worry.”

“I just—I don’t want to screw this up.”

Bucky kisses the side of his neck, feeling the little thrill that goes through him every time he does this—that this is allowed, that he can touch. “You’re not gonna screw it up, baby. If she was on board with this—with us, she’s not gonna kick you out just ‘cause you still don’t know a thing about women.”

Steve leans into him, rubbing his cheek against Bucky’s. “I don’t know how you manage to be so comforting and insulting at the same time.”

“Practice.” Bucky kisses him again, hands drifting lower on Steve’s abdomen. “You want me to distract you awhile?”

“Oh, well, if you insist...”

There’s a knock on the front pole of their tent, and the two spring apart, Steve rolling all the way across the tent before righting himself. “Uh—come in!”

The flap is pushed aside, and Peggy Carter ducks inside, carefully closing it behind her. “’Evening, boys.”

“Peggy!” Steve blurts, going red as a tomato. “I thought you weren’t getting here ‘til tomorrow.”

“I wasn’t,” she says. “But I—was in rather a hurry, so... I rushed things a bit.”

Steve is looking at her with that soppy, adoring expression that used to break Bucky’s heart. Now that he's seen it directed at himself, he finds it kind of amusing.

“Should I find someplace else to be for the next couple hours?” he asks.

Carter looks at him a consideringly. “No, Sergeant,” she says after a moment. “I don’t think that will be necessary.” She pulls off her boots and plops onto Bucky’s bedroll. “I’ve been thinking. Don’t give me that look, Steven, it’s nothing bad.”

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense, doll,” Bucky drawls. “Steve’s gonna expire of nerves.”

She punches him lightly in the shoulder. “Just because Steve likes you doesn’t mean I have to put up with your lip, Barnes.”

He grins at her, trying to ignore the little voice in the back of his head telling him that his attraction to a mouthy, scrappy little blonde punk might easily translate into affection for this bossy, fierce, and frighteningly competent woman.

“Anyway, I thought it seems—inefficient—for Barnes and me to... take turns with you, as it were.”

Steve blushes again, because of course he does. His voice, though, is admirably steady. “What do you suggest?”

Carter’s smile is wicked. “Well, if we’re going to share, we might as well go all in, don’t you think?” Without waiting for an answer, she turns to Bucky. “What do you say, Barnes?”

Might as well be hanged for a chicken as an egg, Bucky’s mother used to say, although she probably never meant this. Between HYDRA and Steve’s transformation, though, this feels almost mundane. He shrugs, casual as he can. “I’m game if you are.”

“Steve?”

Steve grins, with a look in his eye that Bucky recognizes from every scrape they got into as kids. “Are you kidding me? Of course I am.”

“Good,” says Carter. “That’s good, then. Erm.”

They all stare at each other for a long, awkward minute. Eventually, it occurs to Bucky that none of them actually have a clue what they’re doing.

“You gotta come here, Stevie,” he says, and Steve obeys with obvious relief, slotting himself in between the other two.

From there, it’s easier; Steve kisses Carter, then Bucky kisses Steve, and they all sort of collapse into a heap on Bucky’s bedroll.

“Clothes. Off,” says Carter, in between Steve’s breathless kisses, and Bucky is all too happy to help her strip Steve’s shirt off. Steve, meanwhile, makes short work of Carter’s buttons, but is clearly at a loss when confronted by her brassiere.

“There’s hooks in the back,” Bucky tells him, and Carter actually laughs, raising herself on one elbow to watch them.

“Show him, Barnes,” she says, and so Bucky, flushing despite his best efforts, pulls her gently into his arms and shows Steve how to reach around her to unfasten the little row of hooks.

All three of them get a little distracted after that, and it’s awhile before Carter manages to redirect Steve’s hands to her belt; she’s wearing trousers, as she usually does when they’re in the field.

Bucky begins unbuttoning his own shirt, but is stopped by a cool hand on his wrist.

“Let me,” says Carter, and Bucky lets his hands fall away, startled and pleased by her attention. Her fingers are cold when she removes his shirt, but he doesn’t mind, and he refuses to be embarrassed at his thinness, or the scars littering his body. It’s part of the price of war, and if there’s one thing all three of them ought to understand, it’s that.

Sure enough, Carter doesn’t seem either surprised or daunted by what she sees when she’s stripped him bare; on the contrary, her eyes darken, and she licks her lips in a way that suggests a lioness eyeing a wounded gazelle.

“Steve,” she says, smirking, “I’m beginning to think you do have some taste, after all.”

Steve, who has managed to get both himself and Carter completely naked while she was busy with Bucky, grins and pulls Bucky into a kiss. “I know.”

They take their time, learning each other’s bodies. At first, Bucky is hesitant to initiate anything with Carter, preferring to keep Steve between them; but eventually, when Steve’s mouth is otherwise occupied, Bucky leans across him, and Carter meets him halfway.

The kiss is far sweeter than he expected, both of them gentle and nearly cautious, keeping their movements languid even as Carter pants and moans under Steve’s attentions. Everything is warm and soft and liquid, his hand buried in her hair and Steve’s fingers gripping his thigh; he’s suspended between the two of them, experiencing their pleasure as well as his own, and for once he feels like he fits comfortably inside his own skin. When he pulls back, he finds Steve watching him with dark eyes, and can’t help but bend down to him, biting back a moan as he tastes Carter on Steve’s tongue.

After that, he finds himself caressing and kissing whomever is closest, the three of them doing their best to help each other fall apart with hands and mouths and whispered encouragements, bodies moving in slick harmony in the dull lamplight.

 When they are all sated and worn out, and Steve and Carter have fallen asleep beneath the scratchy wool blankets, Bucky leans back against the balled-up shirts he’s using as a pillow and lights a cigarette. He feels warm and comfortable, as though sex has worn away the sandpaper-feeling that usually fills him with anxious energy.

The tent is completely dark now, the lamp extinguished hours ago, but he can still see the shapes of his companions beside him: Steve, facing him with one arm curled around his head, the other flung over Carter’s waist, and Carter on her back, one white hand just barely touching Steve’s wrist. He inspects himself for any sign of jealousy, but finds none: in a few minutes, he’ll snuggle down beside them, knowing he’s wanted, that he’s loved, just as much as either of them.

“Barnes,” Carter whispers, and he turns his head to look at her, startled out of his reflections.

“Pass me that fag, would you?”

He blinks, smiles, and hands her the cigarette. She braces her free hand on his thigh to push herself up, then leans back against his chest, exhaling a cloud of smoke before she hands the cigarette back.

“I think I see it now,” she says thoughtfully.

“What?”

“What he sees in you.” She turns toward him a little more, and he automatically puts his arm around her. “I have to admit, my first impression was not… ideal.”

He groans, but softly, so as not to wake Steve. “Oh God, that night at the pub. I was such an asshole.”

“You really were,” she says, amused, “but with the benefit of hindsight, I can understand why.”

“Well, thanks for being so understanding. You’re—” His brain catches up with his mouth, and he stops abruptly, embarrassed.

“I’m what?”

He can feel himself blushing, and blesses the dark for hiding it. “You’re one hell of a woman, Carter, that’s all.”

Her laughter barely makes a sound, but he can feel the motion of it, with her tucked up so close against his chest. “Thank you, Barnes. Incidentally, you may call me Peggy, if you wish. I believe we’ve reached that point.”

“Okay, then, Peggy.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late.” He feels her laugh again, and takes a thoughtful drag of his cigarette. “You might as well call me Bucky, then.”

“That’s such a ridiculous name for a grown man.”

“Well, we already got way too many Jameses around here,” he says with a shrug. “Anyway, I like it.”

She pats his cheek. “You’re sweet. I never would have guessed.”

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I expect your men already know, anyway.”

“Everyone to the moon and back knows Bucky’s a fuckin’ soft touch,” Steve mumbles unexpectedly. “Jus’ give ‘im a sob story and he’ll be… tryna wrap you up in blankets and… beatin’ up whoever hurt you.”

“That’s only when it’s you, idiot,” says Bucky fondly.

“Nuh uh. That girl that time, remember? You let her stay on our couch?”

“Go back to sleep, Steve.”

“I would, if you two’d stop talking.”

Bucky sighs, long suffering, and stubs out his cigarette. “Alright, alright, jeez. Wouldn’t want to interrupt your beauty’s sleep.”

“An’ don’t you forget it,” Steve slurs, already mostly asleep again.

He scooches closer, however, so he can wind his arm around both Peggy and Bucky. Peggy turns and tucks her head under Steve’s chin, and Bucky curves himself around her back, throwing his leg over them both.

None of them knows what tomorrow will bring, and Bucky’s fine with that. He doesn’t want to know what else this war has in store for them. Tonight, it’s enough to be wrapped up in these two extraordinary people, the man he loves and the woman who, against all odds, has chosen to throw in with them. Tonight, he is content.

[somelazyassartist]

1-70 for the music ask?

I dunno If you’re saying “1 and 70″ or “1 through 70″ buuuuut Ima take it as “1 through 70″ and do all of them >:3

1. A Song I’m ashamed of liking

My Little Pony songs. I enjoy the shows characters and I love the music, but people who enjoy it that aren’t young girls get sorta bad reps, so I usually don’t let anybody know that I like it.

2. Favourite lyrics

“Goodbye my only friend…. Oh- Did you think I meant you? That would be funny if it weren’t so sad”

- Portal 2, Want You Gone

3. Favourite band/artist

Does Sadie Killer and the Suspects count?

4. Top 5 Favourite songs at this moment

Showtime- Madame Macabre, You Can’t Hide- Ck9c, Hey There Delilah- Plain White T’s, Gypsy Bard Remix- The Living Tombstones, and Lost Stars- Keira Knightley

5. Latest song that made you smile

Hey There Delilah, if smiling out of sadness/nostalgia counts

6. An overrated band (for anon)

Metallica, but that’s just my personal opinion. I just got sick of hearing it since my step-dad plays it nonstop.

7. An overrated song (for anon)

God’s Plan, but again, just got sick of hearing it all the time.

8. Latest song that made you cry

To the Moon and Back- Savage Garden

9. Artist/band that saved your life

Rebecca Sugar

10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be (for anon)

Panic! At the Disco

11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you

The Greatest Showman soundtrack

12. saddest song you know

Cap Diamant- Coeur de Pirate

13. Favourite song to sing in the shower

Do it for her- Steven Universe

14. If you played an instrument in grade school, what was it

I didn’t, but I would like to learn how to play the piano :3

15. What song would you like to have your first dance to at your wedding

Lilith in Starlight

16. 5 Songs to have sex to

Karkalicious, Karkalicious, Karkalicious, Karkalicious, and Karkalicious

17. One band you’d have get back together/bring back from the dead

Savage Garden

18. You’re forced to listen to only one album for the rest of your life, what album is it

The Steven Universe album

19. A song that gets you through shit

Here Comes a Thought- Steven Universe

20. A song to shut everything out

The Studio Ghibli soundtrack

21. A song that’s a joke between you and your friends

Who said I had friends?

22. A song to jam out to at 4am (for @theshortysquad)

Toxic- Britney Spears

23. A song that punches you in the gut every single time

It’s Quiet Uptown- Hamilton

24. A song that calms you down

Candles and Clockwork/Moonsetter mashup- woodfur00

25. A song that makes you feel alive

Try Everything- Shakira

26. If you could get any lyrics tattooed, which would you choose

“Maybe I’ll find myself smiling on that distant shore, maybe I’m not alone”

- That Distant Shore, Steven Universe

27. What band/artist would you get your children addicted to at an early age

Musicals!!! All of them!!!!!

28. Can you play any instruments, if so, which

Nope ;^;

29. If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be

Brendon Urie from P!atD

30. CDs or Vinyls

Both. Both. Both. Both is good.

31. 25 songs to play at your funeral

I can’t think of 25 right now but there’s these:

Fireflies- Owl City, Blue Lips- Regina Spektor, Fade Away- Mandopony, Balloons- Mandopony, Candles and Clockwork- Homestuck, Moonsetter- Homestuck, Lost Stars- Keira Knightley

32. What are some song titles that you love

Peace and Love on the Planet Earth- Steven Universe, Still Alive- Portal, The Working Dead- Sadie Killer and the Suspects, Spear of Justice- Undertale

33. If your life ended today, what song would you choose to represent it

Lost Stars- Keira Knightley

34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on ____

Uhhhh it’s blank so I’m just gonna write down the songs from my RE7 SU Spotify playlist (based off of @su-mafia-yandere-lapidot-au-blog‘s fic)

Toxic- Britney Spears

Discord Remix- Caleb Hyles

Immortals- Fall Out Boy

Youth- Daughter

Demons- Imagine Dragons

Radioactive- Imagine Dragons

Megalo Strike Back- RichaadEB

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing- Set it Off

Die in a Fire- THe Living Tombstones

Fade Away- Mandopony

Stay Calm- Griffinilla

Open Up Your Eyes- My Little Pony, the Movie

Hotel California- Eagles

Serial Dreamer- Silva Hound

Control- Halsey

Lone Digger- Caravan Palace

Tangled Up (Lokee Remix)- Caro Emerald

Lost Stars- Keira Knightley

Blue Lips- Regina Spektor

Dollhouse- Melanie Martinez

Cry Baby- Melanie Martinez

Secret- The Pierces

Balloons- Mandopony

Emperor's New Clothes- Panic! at the Disco

You Can’t Hide- Ck9c

Sarcasm- Get Scared

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid- The Offspring

Never Be Alone- Shadrow

Showtime- Madame Macabre

35. A heart wrenching song

Fade Away- Mandopony

36. A band/artist you’re proud of

Sadie Killer and the Suspects!! Honestly, what a glo up

37. A song that has a lot of meaning to you

Love Like You- Steven Universe

38. A song that reminds you of school

My Shot- Hamilton

39. A song not sung in your native language

Papermoon- Soul Eater

40. An instrumental song

Asgore- Undertale

41. A classical song

The Waltz of the Sugar Plum Fairy- The Nutcracker

42. A song with no percussion

Fallen Deep- Heckers Yeckers (This song was actually one I commissioned from them!)

43. Something you’ve heard performed live

She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5

44. Something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live

For Just One Day Let’s Only Think About Love- Steven Universe

45. A song from a band/artist that’s from your town/city/state/province

I dunno rip ;^;

46. A song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

See number 47

47. A song made suddenly painful because of someone special

A Million Dreams- The Greatest Showman

48. A song that demands lip syncing and a makeshift microphone

Guns and Ships- Hamilton

49. A song from a band/artist you met/know

Penny’s Song- Felicia Day (I met her at a Comic-con! She said she loved my Padparadscha ball gown ;v;)

50. A song that you would rock at karaoke

First Burn- The Hamilton Mixtape

51. A song you can’t help but dance to

King of New York- Newsies

52. A song that makes you want to dance on a table

See answer 51

54. Favourite Disney song

The Ballad of Star Butterfly- Star vs the Forces of Evil

55. A song that starts with the first letter of your name

Let’s Go Creeping- Ihascupquake

56. A song from an artist still alive

Straight White Male- Bo Burnham

57. A song from an artist who’s dead

Thriller- Michael Jackson

58. A song you love by an artist/band you hate

I don’t really hate any bands, honestly, so I dunno

59. A song you love with a colour in the title

Blue lips- Regina Spektor

60. A song you love with a number in the title

1, 2, 3- Camille

61. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

We Are Young- Fun

62. A song that needs to be played LOUD

Shut Up and Dance- Walk the Moon

63. A song that makes you think about life

Gypsy Bard Remix- The Living Tombstones

65. A song that you think everyone should listen to

Here Comes a Thought- Steven Universe

66. A song that makes you want to fall in love

When Can I See You Again- Owl City

67. A song that makes you think about ‘him/her’

Let Her Go- Passenger

68. A song that you remember from your childhood

Train Wreck- Ruby Gloom

69. A song that reminds you of you

G-G-G-Ghost- Sadie Killer and the Suspects

70. Okay what’s the real answer to number 1

Hhhhnnnnn okay It’s Notice me Senpai by iHasCupquake I’m sorry

[mahalshairyballs]

Moon Knight playlist

A work in progress, it will grow

Part 3

So far the songs I think fit them are :

.

Bitches in Tokyo by Stars

You can write my place out

Of the life you make

And all the things that mattered

When you knew my face

.

Cross off all the ways I failed you

'Cause I failed you

But I'm still in your blood

You're still in my blood

.

The time when all our mistakes

Made sense, you needed it

The time when all the lying

Sympathised with sin

.

All this sabotage and blame

Well, I can take it

'Cause I just want you back

I just want you back

.

Temporary battles

Can take up half your life

How you dig your bed, well

It'll help you sleep at night

.

Forgiveness like a blanket

That you want to forget

But you still crumble at my name

You still crumble at my name

[...]

This song is Marc talking to Layla. It's another Layla x Marc but Marc pov this time. It'd be before/ during and maybe a little after season 1.

'I just want you back' is just Marc admitting it to her.

And 'all this sabotage and blame, well I can take it' No Marc you can't, but you will anyway. These lyrics reminded me of episode 4 when he just took all the blame for what happened to Layla's dad.

.

Blindness by Metric

Send us a blindfold

Send us a blade

Tell the survivors

"Help is on the way"

.

I was a blind fool

Never complained

All the survivors

Singing in the rain

.

I was the one with

The world at my feet

Got us a battle

Leave it up to me

[...]

What it is and where it stops

Nobody knows

You gave me a life

I never chose

I wanna leave but the world

Won't let me go

[...]

This one is pretty metaphorical. It's about Marc and his relationship with Khonshu and/or their mom.

And 'I wanna leave but the world won't let me go' is about how Marc has been suicidal but he keeps being saved/resurrected so he has to keep on living even when he doesn't want to anymore.

.

Blood by Band of Skulls

I want it, to be over

Turn the boat around and bring that girl in

I stumble through the error

Hope deferred makes the heart sick sick sick

.

The circle, rules and ruins

Yet again we are on our own

I don't need your opinions

What I got is alright

.

I know you're bleeding baby,

But you're not bleeding blood

Blood

.

I need it, you never show me

Keep it in the back seat nice and sharp

Uneasy, in the daytime

How'd you feel alive if you cannot climb in

We aim to, make a difference

Get a sense of meaning from our time here

[...]

This one is also pretty metaphorical too and it's a conversation between all the alters.

.

Blood Hands by Royal Blood

Took a lonely feeling

Just to let the meaning sink

[...]

Felt my feet were burning

From the same red hot ground

.

There's blood on my hands

There's blood on my hands

Yeah, there's blood

.

It's getting hard to listen

When the clock is ticking

Counting down the days gone by

Praying for an answer to another question

That will only leave you dry

.

You won't understand

With your head in the sand

No, you won't

[...]

Every time I drink and try to stop my thinkin'

'Bout the things I've said and done

Stop the world from turning faster

Then I'm learning not to just hide and run

[...]

This song is also for all of them, but mostly Marc talking to both Steven and Jake in these lyrics, and thinking to himself towards the last verses here.

.

Blood on My Hands by Nobody Beats the Drum

I've got some blood on my hands

I don't know who it is from

It was a bare knuckle fight

Now I don't know where to run

.

I've got some blood on my hands

A broken jaw and a limb

I'm throwing up in an alley

But man, you should've seen him

[...]

This is a song for when Marc or Steven come back after Jake has taken over to deal with some people.

.

See Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

[ms-m-astrologer]

Beltane/Samhain 2018

Saturday, May 5, 2018, 13:25 UT Chart erected for Washington, DC

From The Book of the Moon by Steven Forrest:

Days are now markedly longer than the nights. The Sun rises higher and higher in the sky, shining down on the green and fecund Earth. And there is no green like the  green of May, before summer’s scorching heat leaches the color’s vibrancy. Flowers bloom, flagrantly sexual in their form and function. Fertility is everywhere. Even the humans have cast off their winter clothes, leaving their bodies healthy and alluring. Reading Marion Zimmer Bradley’s evocative accounts of Beltane in her masterpiece, The Mists of Avalon, will make the holiday come alive for you - and the way it was originally celebrated is not for the prim. I downloaded a helpful paper by Merlyn, a modern Wiccan, from www . ladywoods . org. She writes:

“All other Beltane customs are minor compared with those that explicitly celebrate human sex and fertility. Up to the Protestant Reformation in the 16th Century, marriage vows were conveniently forgotten at Beltane in many rural European villages. Newly formed ‘couples’ went into the ploughed fields at night to lie down together and copulate in order to ensure the fertility of the coming year’s crops. The Catholic Church could not stamp out this ancient pagan tradition. It took the dour Protestants who suppressed May Eve celebrations in England by passing and enforcing laws against public gatherings around Maypoles with their accompanying dances and fertility rites.”

The idea of a reinforcing resonance between human fertility and the fertility of the Earth is an ancient one that has existed in many cultures. We still, however dimly, grasp that our food supply originates in the fertility of plants and animals. In modern times, we tend to take that food for granted - which is, of course, folly. And in terms of our sexuality..., we tend to oscillate between pornography and Puritanism, and only rarely do we relate sex to reproduction. Compared to times gone by, we also tend to have a very different attitude toward pregnancy. Often, we are more concerned with avoiding it than with engendering it. But for most of human history, our collective survival was on far shakier ground, and making babies in some plentitude was encouraged. In these days, both the magical and *I*procreative*I* aspects of sexuality were cut from one cloth. There  is, in Beltane, at once an honoring of that erotic and creative power that courses through all life, and a celebration of its wild, edgy and ecstatic dimensions as well. Prudish people are blind to it - but so is anyone who thinks of sex without relating it positively to fertility. Beltane is a festival of co-creation.

This is one heck of a chart, containing as it does (with the addition of asteroid Lilith) ⅚ of a fricking yin “Star of David” or “Grand Sextile” aspect pattern!

Scorpio: Jupiter Rx, at 18:48

Capricorn: Moon at 17:31, mean Black Moon Lilith at 19:43, Pluto Rx at 21:15

Pisces:  Neptune at 15:58

Taurus: Sun at 15:00

Cancer: asteroid Lilith at 13:16

Only mid-Virgo lacks a participant - if you have a placement there (or in the middle of any of the yin signs) this chart will surely resonate strongly. In his book Dynamics of Aspect Analysis, Bil Tierney writes of this pattern:

With all the receptive, indrawing signs represented here, the normal tendency is to approach all areas of creative potential with more conservatism, greater industriousness, and a sense of careful organization. Staying power is stronger, giving this type of Grand Sextile a highly productive power than can realistically benefit many areas of the individual’s life. Talents and opportunities indicated are pursued with a desire for practical application as well as emotional gratification and material security. With this configuration, the individual is motivated to retain the fruits of his efforts, unlike the fire-air Grand Sextile which rarely seems to possess what it creates or initiates. The stability and purposefulness of the sensible earth signs minimizes the danger of this Grand Sextile swinging off into too many scattered directions at once. Social activities emphasized here usually coordinate better with each other.

The three oppositions will require that the individual interact with the social environment with more flexibility. In general, earth and water signs adapt more poorly to changes and alterations in the outer world than do the fire and air signs. They are geared to preserving and securing rather than expanding and releasing. Thus, one with this configuration is often less willing to innovate, experiment, or follow through with sudden impulses. He is also likely to pursue less interests and therefore does not tend to spread himself too thin. The expression of nervous energy here is less sporatic (sic), temperamental, and unevenly modulated. Because of the presence of both a Grand Earth Trine and a Grand Water Trine, the sensual nature is apt to be very well-developed and able to be channeled in highly imaginative ways. Whatever routines are necessary for the thorough development of creative enterprises are more easily accepted and undertaken by this individual. But due to the somewhat unenergetic nature of these elements, Mars, Jupiter, and Uranus involved in this type of Grand Trine benefits its expression and keeps it vital.

I  think the way I want to approach this, is to look first at that grand water trine between Lilith/Cancer, Jupiter Rx/Scorpio, and Neptune/Pisces. If your “spirituality” radar is pinging, you’re seeing this (like I do) as this enormous cosmic blessing over all activities which encourage (as Tierney wrote) “tranquility and a soothing sense of peaceful exchange,” “supporting and nurturing of others in a manner that is healing and therapeutic,” and “the evolutionary blooming of the ability to attune to the needs of the mass consciousness with much compassion.”

Demetra George (Finding Our Way through the Dark) writes that asteroid Lilith “shows where we want to be free to move, to choose, to act, to determine, to speak our truth and to be acknowledge for our wisdom.” With Jupiter representing our “search for meaning, truth, and ethical values,” and Neptune as “feeling unity with a greater whole,” we can see what a Cosmic Grace this grand trine gives us. Check your chart for where these three fall. (Don’t be surprised if the houses aren’t trine - in my chart, they’re in the 1st, 4th, and 8th Houses. All thanks to a lopsided Zodiac which is not perfectly aligned with the Equator.)

The Sun in Taurus, then, is one of two foci in the chart for this watery energy. It’s telling us in one sense that this is the right time of year, the perfect season, for congregations. We want to harness this watery vibe in practical, productive ways. Perhaps we want to ensure an eventual bountiful harvest, with plenty of benefits for all; perhaps we want to build on what’s already occurred to ensure an even more bountiful harvest in future years. Kind of like setting up irrigation ditches?

The other foci are the Capricorn placements: the Moon, mean BML, and Pluto. They give us, first, a safe place to “do” the Sun’s work (Moon); then, our capacity and need to transform and renew ourselves (Pluto); and finally, shows “where we cut away our pretensions, false roles, and delusions and actualize our true, essential selves” (BML). In Capricorn, the emphasis is on integrity. Steven Forrest defines Capricorn’s integrity as “the marriage of one’s nature and one’s public identity.” Difficult always, but with this supportive, nurturing water grand trine encouraging us, I don’t see how achieving integrity could be any easier than it is here.

(Like what you’re reading? Buy me a cuppa! Link to my Ko-Fi)

[swankymikehanlon-blog]

IT ships, A song, A written aesthetic

Heavily Inspired by the phenomenal ‘Written Aesthetic’ piece done by @hanlonmike (Click to read more!!!)

Hanzier - Teenage Fever by Drake 

‘If you had my love And I gave you all my trust Would you comfort me?’

Two souls like a ying-yang, like the sun and the moon. One’s hot, the other cold, yet somehow, both go together and both would die with out the other.

Bichie - My Love by Route 94

‘My love and my touch Up above, made with the warmth of my My love and my touch’

The love that’s complicated, the one that seems to never work, but somehow, someway, they find each other in the end.

Reddie - Love by Lana Del Rey 

‘Doesn't matter 'cause it's enough To be young and in love  To be young and in love’

The warmth of a hand over a fast beating heart, the look of a quick glance, whispers into the night, and it’s true love.

Hanbrough - Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

‘Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you’

The knowing look, the look that says “I’ve been where you are” and a hug that means “I’ll stay and help you.”

Beverie - Bad Blood by NAO 

‘Forever we're young Pages unsung, ooh I feel that you remember Dreaming of a past that couldn't last’

Frustrated thoughts, consisting of ‘What If’ never ‘Now That’, but after all, it’s only the brush of a finger across a cheekbone that really gets things started.

Benverly - My Kind of Woman by Mac DeMarco 

‘And I'm down on my hands and knees Begging you please, baby Show me your world’

Absolute adoration of someone can lead to many things, but when it’s delivered back, it’s called unconditional.

Kasplon - White Ferrari by Frank Ocean 

‘Stick by me Close by me You were fine You were fine here’

A thought in the loneliest of hours, a thought in the busiest of days, the proclamation of ‘I love you’ under a star filled sky, the sweet, knowing kiss of forever.

Stenbrough - Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens

‘I have loved you for the last time Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon And I have kissed you for the last time Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon’

Truly never a goodbye, truly never a hello, but the tranquil smile given after finding each other.

Billverly - In This Shirt by The Irrepressibles 

‘In this shirt I can be you To be near you for a while In this shirt I can be you To be near you for a while’

A forgotten love story, that had so much potential, and still might, after all, It’s all that goes on through beautiful fantasies.

Mikeverly - Heavy and Ephemeral by Brooke Bentham

‘I've forgotten this feeling, I'd let it die Now it makes me feel alive Makes me feel alive’

Had always been a possibility, now it’s a reality, and there’s nothing to be more grateful for.

Stozier - Another Love by Tom Odell

‘And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright I'm just so tired to share my nights I wanna cry and I wanna love But all my tears have been used up’

It’s the person you can’t live without, the person who is willing to do anything for you, it’s a feeling deep down that everything about them is selfless.

Stanverly - Roslyn by Bon Iver & St. Vincent

‘Aren't we just terrified? Shale, screen your worry from what you won't ever find’

Words etched into the wall, hands pressed firmly to tear stained cheeks, it wouldn’t work, happiness isn’t for everyone, but maybe, just, maybe, it’s for us.

Kasbrough - Body Gold by Oh Wonder

‘Before you came round, I was heading for a small disaster Before you came round, I was ready to blow me down’

People find each other at some of the most convenient times, but finding each other was the most blessed thing to ever be done.

Hanslon - For You by Tin Sparrow 

‘But it's alright, it's alright now don't panic too soon Because my love, well all my love is there for you, for you’

It’s always the voice in the warm summer morning that says “You’re everything I need, I’m everything you need, so let’s love until the sky leaves.”

Steddie - Somebody That Loves You by HONNE and Izzy Bizu 

‘I'm waiting And I'm patient I'm deluded You have someone that loves you’

Not knowing the true meaning of ‘Living’ until you cross paths with another who loves you for you.

Stanlon - See You Again by Tyler, The Creator 

‘Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever?’

The hand that searches in the water for yours and brings you to the clouds to create an everlasting world where the only words spoken are ‘My Love’.

this is literally the only thing I’ve written that I’m really proud of!!! I included some of the ships that I don’t see a lot of, hope I pleased at least somebody. :)

[punk-rock-pixie]

1-100

I need to be careful what I ask for lmao

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify

is your room messy or clean?

It’s messy rn just cuz I was looking for something

what color are your eyes?

Hazel

do you like your name? why?

Yeah. Picked it myself.

what is your relationship status?

single

describe your personality in 3 words or less

Really McFuckin Gay

what color hair do you have?

Black and blue

what kind of car do you drive? color?

Grey chevy cruz

where do you shop?

I’m a slut for Barns and Noble lately. Dropped $60 on classic ghost stories, Norse Mythology, and a Deathly Hallows journal. I’ve dropped over $100 literally in the last two months on books. I don’t work anymore though so that won’t be a thing anymore

how would you describe your style?

Sad college kid chic 

favorite social media account

Youtube

what size bed do you have?

Queen

any siblings?

One older sister.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

The Nordic region. They’ve been doing so much right in terms of education and gender equality. 

favorite snapchat filter?

The anime one

favorite makeup brand(s)

NYX, E.L.F. and Bare Essentials

how many times a week do you shower?

I shower every other day, but I wash my hair like every 3-4 days to keep the color in.

favorite tv show?

Currently, really love trollhunters. 

shoe size?

Like a 7 in mens or something

how tall are you?

5′6.5″ The half is so important to me because I’ve hardly grown since 2012 

sandals or sneakers?

Trick question- no shoes at all. Our feet get hurt like men.

do you go to the gym?

Rarely, but yes.

describe your dream date

Dear god. Almost any date I’d be okay with. Coffee? Sign me the fuck up. Hang around a park/go on a walk? Lemme get my heckin sneakers. Cryptid hunting in the wee hours of the night? You just won my heckin heart buddy.  

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Like $30-$40 I think????

what color socks are you wearing?

None sock

how many pillows do you sleep with?

Too many for my own good.

do you have a job? what do you do?

Not anymore :)))) There weren’t enough hours.

how many friends do you have?

How many friends? Many. How many close ones? Like 3-4

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Something I’d rather not say.

whats your favorite candle scent?

Lavender always but peppercorn and pumpkin are the ones I’ve been using lately.

3 favorite boy names

Marshal

Ethan (NOT BECAUSE OF NESTOR)

Quinn

3 favorite girl names

Rose

Sadona

Rickie 

favorite actor?

Always and forever Chris Evans, but also Hugh Jackman found his way back to my heart recently. The Rock, Ramin Karimloo, Sean Gunn, Michael Rooker

favorite actress?

Zoe Saldana, Zendaya, Melissa McCarthy, Allison Janney, Julie Andrews, Maryl Streep.

who is your celebrity crush?

See above two questions, but mainly Hugh Jackman, Chris Evans, and Zendaya

favorite movie?

If you couldn’t tell, I’m hyperfixating on Greatest Showman, but also Book of Life, Monster in Paris, 1937 Phantom of the Opera

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

My favorite book is Dracula currently, but I also love Dodie Clark’s “secrets for the mad”, most of Shakespeare’s plays and Edgar Alan Poe’s works

money or brains?

Brains. 

do you have a nickname? what is it?

I have way to many dude.

how many times have you been to the hospital?

Like 7-8 I think???

top 10 favorite songs

In no order:

-I’m counting all of greatest showman as one

-Cat Stevens: Father and Son

-Raspberries: Go all the way

-Silver: Wham Bam Shang a Lang

-Babeo Baggins: Thunder Bird

-Dodie Clark: You

-Beatles: Wanna Hold Your Hand

-Vanessa Paradis and Sean Lennon: La Seine 

-Dear Evan Hansen: For Forever

-Karen O: Moon Song

do you take any medications daily?

No but I should probably get back on them.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Normal to oily

what is your biggest fear?

Abandonment :) Also I have claustrophobia

how many kids do you want?

I mean if we’re talking baby goats, as many as I can afford.

whats your go to hair style?

I kinda just brush my hair back and hope for the best

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

It’s not a mansion, but it’s pretty big

who is your role model?

@thatsthat24

what was the last compliment you received?

From @mild-soapog something about how I deserve a wholesome life and honestly I just love Elle???

what was the last text you sent?

“Hey, how are you feeling?” to a former coworker

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I grew up Jewish so I never really thought it.

what is your dream car?

I don’t really care tbh. I’m pretty happy with the one I have.

opinion on smoking?

You do you just not around me cuz I will cough like a mad man.

do you go to college?

Soon

what is your dream job?

Professional film or stage actor or singer/guitarist in a band

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

suburbs

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Nope. I’m a good noodle.

do you have freckles?

Several

do you smile for pictures?

Yes, but only after make a bunch of stupid faces

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

659

have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes and uh 4/5 would not recommend 

do you still watch cartoons?

Yup

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Neither.

Favorite dipping sauce?

hek dude idk 

what do you wear to bed?

Usually like a tank top and underwear. if it’s super cold I’ll wear sweats too

have you ever won a spelling bee?

Have I ever even competed in one????

what are your hobbies?

Guitar, singing, ukulele, drawing, writing poetry

can you draw?

I’d say so

do you play an instrument?

Check hobbies with the addition of bass guitar

what was the last concert you saw?

I think it was a Beatles tribute band???

tea or coffee?

Both

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Starbucks

do you want to get married?

Honestly, first let me find someone local that will love me for more than 4 months

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

HJ, EJ, EN. 

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

You mean… IF I get married

what color looks best on you?

Blacks and purples

do you miss anyone right now?

Several people

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

usually closed

do you believe in ghosts?

Yes and no???

what is your biggest pet peeve?

chewing with your mouth open, snoring, pen clicking, leg jiggling (if it’s in my peripheral vision)

last person you called

My crush actually. He and I are friends and I asked if we wanted me to hang with him after school since he had to stay up until I had my callback scheduled

favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough and cookies and cream

regular oreos or golden oreos?

What the shit are golden oreos

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow cuz I’m queer

what shirt are you wearing?

 A black tank top

what is your phone background?

a greatest showman wallpaper

are you outgoing or shy?

it depends on the situation

do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yes but ONLY IF THEY ASK BEFORE HAND.

do you like your neighbors?

I don’t even know my neighbors

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Both

have you ever been high?

nope

have you ever been 

Nope

last thing you ate?

Like half a pizza

favorite lyrics right now?

Idk my favorite currently, but these are the ones that keep circling my head

“When the world becomes a fantasyAnd you’re more than you could ever be‘Cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide openAnd you know you can’t go back againTo the world that you were living in'Cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide open

So Come alive”

summer or winter?

Winter

day or night?

Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

All????

favorite month?

October-November

what is your zodiac sign

Scorpio

who was the last person you cried in front of?

Honestly, I have no fuckin clue lmaooooo