#So i want to create a bit of a safe space to find fanfics that don't include that

[delusinaldreamer19]

Black butler Fanfic Recommendations

Here's a lil list of fanfics I've read over the years. Make sure to look over my notes & see the labeling key at the top :)

There's an emphasis on dadbastian and Sebagni b/c that's just what I like to read lol, but majority are no ship. (And no Sebaciel).

(My own works aren't included. You can find them on my blog if your interested.)

Lmk if this link or any included don't work. I had to fuss around to figure out how to publish the doc anonymously. (On that note, if for whatever reason it ISN'T anonymous, pls pls pls let me know. I definitely don't want to publicize my personal email 😭).

If you have a fav fanfic that wasn't included, send it to me and I'll add it!

[thebrochtuarachs]

Happy 10th, Outlander ❤️

Hey Outlander Tumblr Fam, it's been a hot minute!

I know I haven't been able to be active in this blog for a long while (pandemic, trying to build a career, forgetting my password) but I wanted to write a little something to commemorate this very important milestone in our fandom.

08092014 - 08092024 Gosh, has it really been a decade?! Time really does fly.

I've watched this show pretty much since the beginning. I was not into fantasy series before (I am a crime drama girlie) but this show has won me over.

It led me to create this blog to have a separate space for this new found fave - first, as an outlet to all the feelings; and second, to share the creatives art this fandom has.

What I didn't expect to find was people within this community to interact and talk with, more so, a safe space during a very confusing and tumultuous time in my life and inspire me to open up a bit. To make a long story short, this fandom and the people I've been fortunate to share this space with, literally saved me and my life. And that is the most valuable thing 🥹

One other good thing! Watching the show and being in the fandom has brought out the little creative in me - I got to write a bunch of fanfics!

Something I never thought I'd be able to do but over the years, I got to try writing fics, multi-chapter fics, write in different genres, beta and edit for other authors, have people read what I write (what?!) etc. It has been a great joy to be part of the Outlander fanfic writers roster!

To close, there are not enough words to express the love and gratitude I have for #Outlander and the fandom community for the last 10 years. I am forever grateful ❤️ Thank you.

Happy 10 years and happy last 1.5 seasons! I can't wait! P.S Scotland is next in my travel bucket list! Hoping to travel there either this or next year! ✈️

[completelylostitnow]

Rescuing Rogue

[Season 1 ep. 6 “Rogue”]

Fifteenth Doctor, Rogue

1.4k words

No smut

Graphic description of temporal distortions (may be disturbing to time-sensitive readers)

Haven’t written a fanfic in 23 years. Look what they’ve done to me.

*************************

In a trillion dimensions among an infinity, pressed like atoms in a black hole, life signs.

In a single, tiny, shivering one of them a signal that reverberates with the ring on his console. A miracle. Timelord math. Magic.

It’s a second miracle there’s still a life sign to find. Good thing he’s not human; a human could not have survived.

Ruby.

Did years of travelling in time and space with a rickety ship like his fit him with the resilience he needed? Was it a lucky trait of his species? Did he, at one point in his life the Doctor knows nothing about, even train for dimension jumps? But this place was not meant for any living thing.

It took a lot of convincing to get the TARDIS to materialise here - some hammering on the protesting consoles, followed by frantic apologies, flattery and lastly straight up begging. He saved Ruby, he reminded her. And didn’t he say right away that he loves you? Please, honey. I know you liked him, too.

The old girl did not want to come here, as little as he did.

As he steps out, the otherness of this half-done dimension pushes on him from every side. It’s not just barren. It’s empty, with singular nothingness lurking at the edges of his sight. An infinity of dimensions beyond that, invisible, but he can feel their weight. Did the bounty hunter’s presence create this in the first place, etch existence into a not-there-before? Even time is wrong. It bounces around their little bubble of half-reality, stutters and repeats, and goes back again. The word ‘hell’ flickers in his mind, but he decides there will be enough time for guilt later. Was it the stillborn, never progressing almost-time that saved Rogue after all? Had there simply not been time enough to die, just an endless sequence of things not happening? It doesn’t matter, he is almost safe now. He leads him to the TARDIS. No, not yet. He hasn’t reached him yet. Rogue grabs his hand and holds on tight. No, still -

He steps out of the TARDIS.

Rogue looks right through him.

Time is wrong.

He peers through the shifting layers of reality until he spots something. The figure of a man, slumped against the only rock in existence. TARDIS-blue coat. Curly hair.

He steps out of the TARDIS.

Come on, dear, just a bit of a stretch, he whispers. The TARDIS groans in response, but does what he asks. He feels the temporal field extend past him, eventually enclosing the motionless figure in front of him. Wrong-time protests, the whole dimension struggling against the sudden influx of unfamiliar natural laws.

In this corridor of stability it takes him only a few steps to reach his friend. Boyfriend. Companion. What was it? They never got this far.

He’s seen it happen already, but he still breathes silent relief as Rogue lifts his head. Alive. He looks right through him. His eyes are shifting slightly, flickering like he’s following a wall of tv screens at the same time. He sees a lot of things, but not him. There is nothing on his face. A sadness, maybe. Was it so different from being aboard his ship, on his own, with the memories and accusations bouncing off the walls, again and again? Did he keep going simply out of habit?

He crouches down in front of him.

Rogue, he says. Is it Rogue? You never told me your real name.

The tiniest spark of clarity in his eyes. A bit of hope.

Time flutters, struggling with the dimension’s non-reality. They need to go. He brought a very complicated event into a very fragile environment. The dimensions in the belly of his ship are a million times vaster than this place, and he’s pouring out pure temporal energy through its doors. It’s not going to last - time is precious. So is the life in front of him.

Come on. Let’s get you back to your ship.

What was it - no - will it be that gets him going?

Do you remember the jukebox? You can choose any song. It doesn’t actually need records. Universal streaming, baby. If a song will exist one day, we can - He’s babbling. Stress. He’s used to existing in the wrong order, but the constant abandoning of events, the restarts, the remixes unnerve him. He starts to sing under his breath to calm himself down.

You make me invisible

Like the sky, you make my day

I feel so wonderful

Oh, oh, oh, don't let go

How to get through to him?

I'm deep in the dark of you

It feels like I never saw the sun

Should I shout for a rescue

Oh, oh, oh, don't let go

The TARDIS shudders behind him. He can feel her aching. Do I just pick him up? Will he panic? No. He saw him grab his hand. He will grab it - just needs to hear the right words.

Two hearts are beating, together

I'm in love…

Is this forever and ever?

Come now, Doctor. Do your magic.

We can have another dance, he offers. No drama this time, just us. We can dance among the stars, if you like. He strokes some curls out of Rogue’s face.

Nothing.

I wonder what he sees right now.

You remember Ruby? My friend Ruby? She’s the best, you know. She was amazing. We defeated the actual God of Death together. Good thing maybe you weren’t around. Everyone d- that’s not helping.

Anyway, we found her mum later. Her birth mum, you know? And her dad. She’d been looking. And all because you saved her. Do you have a family somewhere, Rogue?

There’s no one. Right. Like me.

He steps out - no.

The temporal field is cracking around them, the chaos slowly trickling through.

He crouches - no, no, no, no. We already did that. Stop it.

No time. How come I’m always out of time? What happens if the temporal field fails with me here? With the TARDIS doors wide open? Can’t be good.

You know what? he tries again. Funny thing. I already met one good looking guy in a nice blue coat before. So many faces ago. Had a dance with him, too. Do you think I have a type? I think he turned into a giant head later. Babbling, Doctor…

Oh, he’d probably be able to chat him up. Flirt anyone back to life. Captain Cheesecake. He’d say something unbearably corny, like…

Hello Sailor.

Rogue’s eyes stay unfocused, but the slightest smile starts to light up on his face.

Oooh. Oh, that’s interesting. Let’s get back to that later. Definitely going to - focus, Doctor. I’m so going to ask you about that, honey. Can you get up now? Come on, sailor, back to your ship.

Rogue grabs his hand and holds on tight. There it is, there’s that moment, they are all lining up in order now. Rogue’s eyes are starting to focus on his face.

Are you really here this time?

He sounds tired, wondering, hopeful, doubtful, sad all at once. Has his rescue echoed through all the layers and whirls of this travesty of time, too? How many times has he asked that already?

I’m here, babes. I’m really, really here. He can’t help grinning. Good old Jack. Let’s get you inside now, okay?

Rogue struggles to get up, but with his arm draped over his shoulder, the Doctor can pull him the rest of the way. He leads him to the TARDIS. It was the last moment, too. The temporal field snaps and the machine slams her doors shut right on their heels, taking off without him even pressing a button. Really didn’t want to be here. He’ll have to treat her to something for this. She gives a reassuring beep, informing him that the obligatory scan is complete. He’s got the real one. He’s fine.

He faintly notices that they have both sunken to the floor, and there’s a wave of relief and joy and triumph washing over him that makes him dizzy. Rogue struggles a bit under his arm. He’s probably clutching him too hard. Locked him in an uncomfortable position, too. He lets go, lets him sink fully to the floor. A splinter of worry, until he sees that his eyes are clear. His bounty hunter is all there, all present, looking up to the TARDIS dome with the same sweet wonder he had the first time. A real smile now spreading on his face. I love this machine, he says quietly. I really love it.

There’s a small chirping from the console in response.

*************************

Kylie Minogue - 2 Hearts (2007)

[steddieunderdogfics]

Today is all about @oh-stars! In today's Mod Spotlight, we're highlighting Jo and all they bring to this space!!

Jo created this space back in December and handles most of our regular fic recs and scheduling Fic Fridays! As well as making graphics, scheduling the event announcements and calendar, Jo steps in to help where she's needed!

Jo (she/they) has been a fic writer for over ten years, and a mod for seven years. Over the years, she’s written for other fandoms, such as Marvel, but now primarily focuses on Stranger Things — specifically Steddie. She mods the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang, the Steve Harrington Big Bang, the Eddie Munson Big Bang, and created Steddie Underdog Fics back in December.

As a part of our mod spotlight, Jo answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

Truthfully, I couldn’t tell you. I’m a Steve girlie through and through, have been for years, but it’s something about his dynamic with Eddie that just clicked. It’s the same way I feel about all my major ships over the years. To me, and this isn’t a fresh take by any means cause I know I’ve seen others make the name connection, but Steddie has the same energy as Stucky from Marvel, Buddie from 9-1-1, and Superbat from DC, which are the other three big ships I’ve consistently the past few years. I’m a multishipper, can really see the beauty in other ships and dynamics for any of my fandom characters, but there’s something special about Steddie that I just don’t have the words for.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

This is so cheesy, but the community! I adore how everyone supports one another and discovering fics and authors I’ve never come across outside of the bubble I’ve found myself in. It’s such a joy being able to uplift authors and share their fics, it trumps all the headaches that can come with modding a page.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

I’m a sucker for kid fics, secret relationships, and hurt/comfort – especially heavy angst with happy endings.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

Omegaverse is the safe answer, lol, but probably darker fics? Angstier fics that I have to be super careful with the tags or else I can’t read lol. It’s not something I engage with all the time, but every now and then I go down the Major Character Death tags.

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

I go through the tags very methodically, especially for a new fandom. With Steddie, it was a bit different since it’s the first time I’ve been around for the start of a ship – or at least paying attention to the ship as it’s forming. So usually I’ll either sort by date updated or word counts, then go through the tag I’m wanting page by page and read back to back. And if I make it through a whole tag, thats when I go to recs to see if I can find something to spark my interest for a new tag. Or for a tag I’d never really read on my own.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

Word count is a big one, the longer the better, especially if you add in a slow burn tag with a six digit wc. Otherwise, it’s a combination of things like a high word count, mix of slow burn, misunderstandings, happy endings tags, and it being completed, I’ll rarely hesitate.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

I really enjoyed the community over at @steddieholidayexchange (and the summer one). I’ve participated in many events over the years, from Steddie BB 2023 and a few other exchanges to ones I’ve modded like the Stranger Things Reverse BB, but that community was special.

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

How well rounded it is! With fanfic, I don’t want it to just focus on moving the plot forward all the time. Take the scenic route and let the characters breathe as they explore a number of side quests and plots as we navigate the main plot. Give me good dialogue, prose, interesting twists or interactions, and good character moments and I’ll be happy.

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

Organization is everything and take notes!! Staying consistent with your organization and keeping records of everything will really help keep everything running smoothly. For events like big bangs and reverse big bangs that happen annually or semi-annually, it’s really important to keep a list of what works and doesn’t to improve the next run. Listen to feedback from your participants and see what you can adapt to make it work. Not all feedback has to be followed, but it’s good to try and see how you can improve your event or space. That’s where the records and notes will also come into play so you don’t have to start from scratch on the next one and you can back up what is working with evidence if you need to defend it within the team. Otherwise, just have fun. Don’t take it too seriously. Modding fan pages and events is volunteer work and meant to be fun, so if it isn’t anymore, don’t let it suck the joy out of fandom for you!

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

I’ve definitely dabbled in a lot – playlists, fan edits, fan art, animations, book binding, etc – but none that stick around as much as writing. I spend so much time modding I don’t really have the time to do more outside of it.

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

My team and the continued support we get from our loyal supporters! We see the same names reblogging the call to action posts and engaging with the posts, so it’s really encouraging to see that our work has an impact in the fandom!

@worldswcollide -  Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

I have literally used my modding experience in job interviews. I frame it as event planning and management, with an emphasis on customer service and organization and usually that’s a great talking point for interviews. That being said, it’s really broadened my spreadsheet abilities and organization and I view teamwork in a different way now. As a burnt out gifted kid who took on the brunt of team projects in school, letting people take over work has always been tough so having a trusted team that shows me I can hand things over, its really refreshing. And now I’ve been able to do the same at work!

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Okay so a little BTS, but we totally have handpicked some themes for each mod. For my birthday back, we did kid fics for that theme weekend since it fell on that Sunday since it was my favorite trope – and the same has been extended for the other mods’ birthdays. Outside of that, I really like the ones that I don’t expect to get a lot of submissions. And the comment ones, since we try to encourage those submitting the recs to also leave a comment.

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

I’ve said it a few times already, but community. I don’t have the biggest community outside of fandom, so it’s always touching to see how amazing and supportive everyone has been. Social stuff is tough for me, but no matter where I look in fandom spaces, there’s always someone willing to be patient and kind. It’s really changed my life, introducing me to some of the most incredible, impactful people I’ve ever met like @karadanverss, @sparkstar-trash, and @lady-lostmind -- and so many others. No matter how cringe or whatever opinions people have about fandom, I’ll never be shy about my experiences in fandom and with fanfic because of the people I’ve met over the years.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

This is actually super easy to me, but friends to lovers all the way. I prefer that over enemies to lovers anyway, because that’s a really tough trope for me, but there’s something special about friends to lovers. I love how sweet and gentle it is, especially on a longer slow burn as things trickle into place in a way that just feels right because it’s meant to be. Enemies to lovers, though, is tricky. Rivals are always fun, but actual enemies is a hard line to toe. For me, I feel like the reason they’re enemies is either too light to be true enemies or too heavy that it’s kind of impossible to realistically get past. I like writing both, but I think in the end, I prefer friends to lovers.

Anonymous - Have you seen any interesting or fascinating trends in the ST or Steddie fandom that you'd like to talk about?

For ST and Steddie specifically, no. I think it’s really fun to see how the fandom shifts as a wave. Like post S4 drop, we were all about the fix-its and canon fics, time loops were massive and the kas theory was really hitting after the last two eps. Then I feel like we’re constantly going in and out of tropes as a whole, while the staples are always constant. But all of that is pretty standard across any fandom so it’s hard to really pinpoint.

@sidekick-hero - What made you create Steddie Underdog Fics?

Steddie Big Bang 2023. That was a monster of a bang and between how big it ended up being as well as the nature of how Steddie exploded, I felt a little helpless. I was super lucky to have gotten a lot of attention on one of my fics, but I really attribute that to timing, length, and how quickly I got it written. Do I think it deserves how much love and attention it got? No, there are so many other amazing works that feature new ideas and concepts, with interesting takes on canon or the characters, that should have just as much attention as that fic received. But the bigger the ship got, the easier it was for fics to slip under the radar. I’m still very lucky to have dedicated readers on my works, but at the time, I was really struggling with my Steddie BB fic. I was struggling with some negativity on it and seeing other authors worry about their own fics because they weren’t getting feedback, then one thing led to another and I was creating the blog before I could really process it.

Anonymous - Have you seen a rec method like it in other places before or was there just a general desire to help highlight things lost in the large growth of the Steddie fandom?

@steddieficfind’s format of crowdsourcing helped shape how I wanted to go about this space. At the time, while I was reading a lot, most of the fics I was reading were ongoing updates or from the same few authors, and a lot were oneshots. So I would go on rec lists and @steddieficfindto find new fics that I may have missed when going through my usual tags, because summaries aren’t always accurate. I know I struggle with my own fics’ summaries, but seeing how a reader sees a fic versus the author can really help bring in new perspectives. Thinking about that, I decided that having other people share their recs and highlight fics in a new light other than the author’s summary could be an interesting take on the rec space.

@sidekick-hero - Do you look for different things in fanfic when you're reading it than when you're writing it?

Oh yes, I’m way more critical about my own fic than the ones I’m reading. With my work, I’m trying to get to a destination while my reading choices are about the journey. I just want to enjoy the fic and see what happens, I’m not criticizing word choice or looking at the craft as a whole. Sometimes its hard to shut that off, but I really try to separate the two.

@worldswcollide - How did you transition from writing fic to taking on such big projects?

I’m a bit of a workaholic when it comes to fandom stuff. I’ll do the bare minimum in my jobs (because they’re super low stakes, let’s be real) so I can devote a lot of energy to writing and modding my events and this page. That being said, I usually hyper focus on the newest project for a minute before I take a more balanced approach. It helps having teams that can support me, especially with ongoing projects like this one. There were so many times where I nearly deleted this space because it got too overwhelming on my own, even as I added more and more to it. I couldn’t be doing this without @spicysix and @verdantcactus. They’re willingness to help, earnest interest, and brilliant ideas on how we can work the space has been a game changer. I can’t thank them enough for taking on this project with me, for continuing to absolutely nail it week after week. So thank you both so very much!!

Anonymous - What is it about Bang events that draws you in, especially as a mod?

It’s addicting. Genuinely. I’ve been doing them for seven years now across a handful of fandoms. Modding is just so fun for me, it helps me engage more with new people in ways I’m too intimidated to try as just a participant. And again, the community is really nice within events, especially with everyone cheering each other on as we hit milestones and deadlines. I really appreciate that support and getting the opportunity to support others to try new things.

@sidekick-hero - What's the best feedback you've ever gotten (could be about your writing or being a mod)?

This is really tough! It’s one of two, both were from my favorite writing professor. It’s more advice than feedback about my work specifically, but it’s something I’m constantly thinking about, especially now when I’m a bit stuck writing wise as a whole. The first is that writing is a muscle, not a talent. You can always improve and get better the more you practice, but in the same vein that it’s harder to lift 50lbs when you don’t lift that much all the time, you can lose it too. Writing a little bit each day, even if it's a sentence or two at a time, will be better than letting it rest, because you can’t edit a blank page. And as long as you’re thinking about the story, playing around with what you’ll do next, what worked in a past scene or you want to change in another, that counts too. It’s still writing even if you’re not getting actual words down. The second is that if you’re blocked, look up the page. The answer is almost always two or three paragraphs before you stopped, or in bigger works, sections ahead. Finding the problem may be harder than expected, but it’s always there.

Today, all of our recs are from @oh-stars specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod stars rec tag.

[lieslab]

To the future and beyond:

| °˖✧✿✧˖° | °˖✧✿✧˖° | °˖✧✿✧˖° |

Well, this is new. I keep sitting here staring blankly at my laptop screen, typing, deleting, typing, deleting, typing, and deleting again. I've been trying to figure out how to pour out my heart without coming across as selfish. I know my actions aren't selfish, but I'm afraid that it will come across that way and that's not my intention at all.

I used to update this account with new drabbles multiple times a week, but now I seem to struggle to upload once a week. Life is taking a toll again, but not necessarily in a bad way. It's more like, I'm growing up. I'm having more and more adult responsibilities that I never had before.

My work just added more hours for me to work. I'm trying to work through college classes. I've mentioned before that I have a younger sibling that I parent. Plus, I try to work in time to write and it's all just so much. Honestly, it's too much.

I get requests and I love them, but lately I feel bad because I can never seem to keep up. Because of that, unfortunately, this is the announcement that from now on requests will be closed. I've emptied out my inbox. To everyone who already requested something and I've responded to you, your drabbles are still coming. After they're posted, if you have another request, I won't be taking it at this time.

I know that sucks and I hate to do that, but it's not fair for either of us. It's not fair for you to have to wait a long time for something you want to read and enjoy. It's not fair for me to have to try and pull something together and half-ass it either.

After I finish all my requests, I'll probably still be here, just a bit quieter. I'd like to go back to posting stuff that I get inspiration for in the spur of the moment. I never post that stuff anymore because I feel guilty posting it when I have requests to do.

I want to start writing longer series and posting them for you to enjoy all at once. If you really like my writing and crave my stories, I still update full length fics five days a week. You can find the current one here.

I know it sucks, but I think it's a great way to give you higher quality writing, better stories, and who knows what I might add in the future. I think it'd be amazing to have some sort of interactive fic or create full-length trailers for each one, so you know what you're getting into.

This really is my passion and I love the band a lot. I don't want to entirely stop writing drabbles, just give you better ones. It's always been my goal to become a published author. Writing fanfic has made me better and believe it or not, it's actually opened up an amazing opportunity for me.

Because I spent so much time writing full-length fanfics, I qualified for a creator program which has a ton of resources to help grow my writing. It's the most amazing thing and it's such an honor and a privilege. I don't want it to slip through my fingers.

So while I study more resources, try to grow and expand my writing, all my old drabbles will still be here. My inbox will still be open, just not for requests. Please try not to be too hurt by this. There will probably be times in the future when I still open my requests, but for brief periods of time only.

I'm doing this to save myself stress and anxiety, to better my future, and to give you better content. I know you're strangers on the internet, but you really have become my safe space. You have no idea, but some of my drabbles are based upon my own struggles.

This is my haven and this truly does feel like home. More content will be coming your way soon, please just give it time. That's all I have and that's all I wanted to say. Thank you for reading and if you choose to stick around, thank you. I can't wait to see what this writing journey will bring and I can't wait to bring you with me.

<3 Lie

[immajustvibehere]

Cold

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!Reader

Summary: On your escape through the snowstorm after the Blackwater Massacre, Arthur and you are looking for a place to get some sleep.

It might be a bit rushed but I see like one new ArthurxReader fanfic a week on Tumblr and I know y'all are famished so I'll just throw this dry breadcrust out there :,)

1400 words, 10 minutes reading time

Your legs were incredibly sore. It helped that the wagon in front of you blocked most of the wind and created a path in the snow in which you could walk somewhat safely, but it was tiring, nevertheless. Your body was frozen rigid. Every step hurt, though you could barely feel your toes anymore. Sometimes you tried to wiggle them around in your boot, just to see if you still have control over them. This turned out quite tricky and painful. Your scarf was wrapped around your face, only leaving a small slit for your eyes. The wagon in front of you was filled to the brim. So was every other waggon. They were either loaded with crates or people, some of them more dead than alive. As far as you knew, the only wagon where you could squeeze in was the one that held Jenny's body,…and you couldn't do that. You had lied and told everyone that you preferred walking, since it would warm you up

...well, that wasn't going as planned.

It was night, most people were asleep. You knew that Javier, John and Arthur were on their horses, scouting ahead or keeping watch behind, in case anyone was following. But who would follow you into a god damn snowstorm?

"Y/N!", Arthur must have called your name three times before you finally snapped out of your trance-like walking and looked up to the man mounted on Charles' horse.

"Yer crazy, why're yer walking? You should get some rest", he rode closer to you so he didn't have to yell above the wind.

"I'm afraid I'll freeze to death if I sit down and fall to sleep", you pushed your scarf off your mouth so Arthur would hear you better. The cold air that hit the lower part of your face made your teeth clatter.

"If ya keep on walking, you'll just fall over at one point and we'll keep ya behind. Come on!", he stretched his hand towards you, inviting you onto the horse. You took it, grateful to get some rest. Arthur lifted you like you were a sack of feathers, you however wailed under the painful stretch in your arms that you hadn't significantly moved for the last couple of hours. You might have even forgotten you had a pair of arms.

"We gonna find a place to rest. I haven't slept in two days, I need some sleep too", Arthur explained.

"You can rest in the wagon with Jenny. They have some space left", you suggested.

"What? Why aren't ya in there then?"

You mumbled a "Don't want to" under your breath which he couldn't have possibly heard. So he simply accepted the silence and made Taima trot faster. It felt nice to relax your legs, they started to tingle as if feeling came back to them. Maybe, you shouldn't have walked through snow for four hours straight.

"Charles!", Arthur yelled to the man steering the wagon, "still some space in there?"

Charles craned his neck, looking behind him into the dark caravan, "Enough for one and a half person."

"That's all we need, thank you. I'll leave Taima with you", Arthur said as he gave you a sign to dismount. Your knees buckled under your weight. You properly felt the ache now. Some rest and maybe a hot coffee is what you craved. The snowflakes were also becoming thicker and more with every minute, so you loved the idea of something like a roof over your head, even if it was just a canvas.

Arthur was right behind you, leading you to the back of the wagon. Three people were sleeping in there, but you couldn't tell who, as they were wrapped in blankets and had clothes pulled over their heads. Arthur was the first one to climb inside, careful not to step on anyone or wake them.

"Here", he whispered, reaching out to you once more. The two of you squeezed between some crates to find a small spot between all those boxes and the front seat. A canvas protected you from snow or direct wind. Behind it, Charles was steering the horses. Charles had been exaggerating when he said that one and a half person would fit there.

"Okay...", Arthur huffed when he saw how short of space you were. Then he grabbed a blanket off a crate and sunk to the ground. "We even got one blanket!"

Now you heard the exhaustion in his voice too. You were still baffled about the tight space and wondering if you two could comfortably sleep there, but Arthur was one step ahead, sitting down and taking in almost the entire space immediately. As he unfolded the blanket, readying it to wrap it around him, he suddenly looked up to you.

"Yer fine with that?"

"It's gonna be a squeeze...", you smiled helplessly.

"Sure", Arthur shrugged, acknowledging for a second that you would be lying pretty much on top of him, if you decided you to join him. "I-...I mean I could go to the other wagon if-"

"No, no!", you quickly interrupted him. He looked so tired and had already settled in, it shattered your heart that he even considered getting up again for you. Besides, your weren’t exactly opposed to the idea of cuddling with Arthur.

"If you don't mind that we're gonna....cuddle...", you smiled innocently. You noticed the cowboy blushing and babbling something you didn't quite understand, but then he simply lifted the blanket and waited for you to join him. You had to sit down sideways, your one side turned towards Arthur, your head finding a place to rest against his shoulder. You had to snuggle up to the man, there simply wasn’t another option. Arthur, as if it were nothing, snaked one arm around you, securing the blanket so it wouldn't slip off your body.

His free hand opened his coat, searching for something in his inside pocket. With a swift motion he lifted a cigarette to his lips, lighting it with a match which he had swiped across the crates. After he took the first drag, he wanted to hand you the cigarette.

"I don't usually smoke...", you considered.

"Sure. But it'll warm you up", Arthur suggested.

So you took the cigarette to pull on it. You had tried it before once or twice, it never was your thing, really. But you couldn't deny that the burning sensation in your airway could be considered 'warming you up'. Arthur chuckled warmly when you coughed and watched in awe as you dared a second drag. It made you cough again.

"Yer okay?", his voice was whispery now, like he had just remembered that there were people sleeping nearby. Then he took the cigarette again, finishing it himself.

Your answer consisted of a final cough and a nod, you tried to laugh it off because you enjoyed how amused Arthur was about it.

"Ya gonna get used to it", he said.

"I hope I don't have to. We won't stay in the cold for long, right?", you asked.

"I’m not sure ‘bout that, darlin’", Arthur sighed, stubbing the cigarette out on the crates and letting it drop. The pet name made your heartrate pick up for a second. Arthur had mumbled those words so sweetly; you hadn’t thought this big man capable of even the lousiest attempt to comfort you with words. But you acknowledged that he was probably tired too, muttering senseless stuff for the sole reason to say something.

After a while of silence, Arthur remarked: "Yer still shakin'."

"Mhm", even though you were still freezing, you felt the exhaustion overpowering you.

"Get'cha hand in there", he offered whisperingly, holding his coat flap open. You hesitated but were too tired to object or refuse his offer out of courtesy. Arthur's body warmth immediately seeped through your cold hand and arm. It sent a pleasurable shiver through your body - a shiver that suggested you were warming up. Arthur immediately picked up on the hint that the warmth was doing something to you, so he opened his coat a bit more. Carefully, as if you were fragile and already asleep he pushed your head more onto his chest, off the cold and wet coat and onto the shirt he was wearing underneath. Your cheek almost felt like it was burning when it touched the warm fabric. It was warm - no hot - with his body heat. It smelled like sweat and firewood, but in the best possible way. Neither of you knew who fell asleep first. When Charles peaked through the canvas to ask if you two had made the small space work, he found both of you sleeping, you half on top of Arthur.

[elainsweetcobalt]

I think the main reason why Elriel was seen as the most toxic side of the fandom is because everytime other ships post something about Elain and Az and the million reasons why they shouldn't be together, Elriels comes out and refute it. I've always seen it on every platform. Elriels will always throw canons and it was seen as form of attack or aggressiveness.

The sad thing is only Elriels actions are seen and condemned but not the people who created baits, or post lies on the internet. The person who lies about sources and having direct contact with BB was never called out. The mole on the fb group was never called out. The blog created to bully Elriels, the elriel artists and commissioner getting bullied out of the fandom, the disrespect toward Elriel arts, the constant bullying and side remarks, and alienation to Elriels was never seen. People overlook at that because they refuse to hear what's truly happening. There are so many noises on different sides but they are the only ones allowed to share their feelings but once an Elriel did it? Once they share what they truly feel because they're also human? They get condemned. There's always a public call out. #shamelriel was the recent disappointing thing I've seen recently, followed by constant naming towards an entire group. And at the end of the day, people are convinced it is Elriels who are still "creating" dramas and toxicity.

I think Elriels should never be condemned for preferring Elain and Azriel together and for replying or reblogging someone post to clear up lies and twisting facts. Most Elriels existed since 2016, there's dramas but never this kind of attack that has been happening since 2021. I truly admire those who are here for long, those who chose to speak up and those who wished to stay silent. I know whatever Elriel does, (either keeping things private or sharing their feelings and thoughts on the internet) will be deemed negatively.

It'll be not for long though, hopefully, because acotar 5 is coming. And I wish all these petty nonsense would eventually stop.

So hold on a little longer Elriels! Most Feysand stans loves Elriels too. We may never engage on the shipwar but we can see. I know some Feysands and Elriels aren't besties but it doesn't mean we hate one because we love both. (Especially that most Elriels are Feysand stan first)

There's nothing wrong if you speak up, nothing wrong if you all wanted to clear everything. Definitely nothing wrong for loving Elain and Az (individual and together) I understand the desperate want to not be labeled as toxic because you're only here to enjoy a ship. All these noises? It'll eventually die down, you'll laugh at it someday, but the important thing is the space and friendship you created (like what your fellow Elriel said here days ago).

I promise, you guys are not the drama 💛

Ps: so many Elriel arts and fanfics lately, I'll go and support it too! And also so many new Elriels! New fanfic writers and artists, new blogs every week showing their love to Elriels. I've seen how Elriels grows on here, tiktok, twitter, and Instagram. It is very exciting 💛

Pss: tumblr may seem as not the safe space anymore unlike pre acosf, but be sure that it still is. It is because most Elriels I see truly love the ship and are very welcoming, true and warm! People will still come and find this space safe because of you guys.

Hi Anon Thanks for that message and sorry for taking so long to reply, the last few days have been a bit overwhelming and I stayed away from my inbox as some questions are not as nice as yours.

I think I agree with much of what you said although I would like to add a few things I don't think this is about ship there are some people who say "what nonsense arguing over ships" but some things go further when people are having behaviors questionable, the most decent thing would be to look at what is happening and if it is a behavior that needs to be addressed it should be done mainly if that behavior is affecting different people, we elriels are also human and many times it is painful to see what happens in this fandom, too I think people talk a lot about "my right" and forget the fact that others, if you make a violent post, don't expect people to respond with love and kindness, we all have the right to react and get angry or sad, but as little as possible. as adults is to keep ourselves as decent people and look for solutions. Thanks again for your question I really appreciate it and I hope that at some point this fandom will be what it was before and what it always should be a place to be a fan and have a good time with your friends and people who enjoy the same things as you ❤️

[esther-dot]

I double-checked and heard '100' as well. I'm the same as you, honestly it sounds positive to me but people are going to spin headlines. The fact he's opened up about struggling alone probably indicates he's feeling better about it - I guess speaking personally, when I was able to verbalise that I was having trouble at all with my writing, that was already the point where I was beginning to untangle it.

I'm more interested in GRRM's process from a writer's POV as opposed to waiting morosely for the endproduct, so that's the angle I like thinking about. His work is extremely ambitious, because he's got multiple working elements at once: not just multiple perspective characters, but he's trying to pull off a deconstructive commentary (I mean this in the literary criticism sense, not the sense used in fandom spaces which is 'thing bad? what do about it?') in addition to marrying the weighted moral/thematic complexity of a classic novel paired with the fantasy genre. LOTR is much more firmly in mythic territory than that imo.

I say this as someone who's not necessarily an ASOIAF superfan, but I find his work interesting just because holy fuck, George, of course it's taken you twelve years.

(about this post)

Yeah, I think looking at this from a writer’s perspective gives one a lot more sympathy for how long it’s taking him to write. I've criticized him a fair bit myself, so I don’t feel overly protective of him, but most fans seem to ignore the vast difference between typical genre fiction and what he’s doing. I’ve said before, it’s literature, with all the layers and complexity that implies. Hence it taking a decade + to bring his story together just so (in addition to all the other reasons) and ghost writers not being a workable solution for him.

I've written some original stuff and with that, and with my fics, I have a similar style with the whole, knowing certain things, even having later bits of dialogue written, but not using an outline and just, writing until I reach those moments naturally. In the interview, Cornwell said he's a true gardener, doesn't even know how his own stories will end, but Martin has created a headache for himself by having established endgames, major beats, and what he's called set pieces that he's determined to naturally find. It's a difficult way to write. I think it does allow him some great characterization, but I honestly feel sick to my stomach when I think about what he has to be going through with that method and this series.

I'm sure no one is more anxious for him to finish the book than he is. Fanfic writers feel a weight over their unfinished fics, meta writers groan over metas sitting in their drafts, but none of us had the showrunners of the most popular TV show waiting for us to wrap it up, contracts with publishers, a mouthy worldwide fandom, our legacy hanging in the balance. Martin even talked about wanting to write the best book he could, knowing he's already kept people waiting so long, which means he's putting additional pressure on himself. I personally wish he took on fewer projects (distractions! demands!), but he has the right to a payday even if it is coming from HBO after the travesty of s8. He mentioned in that interview how there were times he thought his career was over, and I'm sure he never imagined he'd be so successful or become this wealthy. He should enjoy it!

I know there was a discord for Jonsas at one point, and I hope someone does that again when TWOW is gonna come out so people have a safe place to talk. I actually might wait for some Jonsas to post about their thoughts before I read it. I like spoilers, and I've stuck around this long to support the Jonsa fandom ( +spite for all the people who harassed us), so I don't think I'd be able to dip when TWOW comes out.

[batwynn]

are people still into drarry at this point? as far as i know the entire hp fandom basically died when a certain someone spoke her political opinions. anyone still talking about hp gets harassed to oblivion and so many callout posts pop up saying that if you still like the franchise you're supporting terfs. i honestly don't know how to feel, i'd simply deleted all my hp content on my blog because seeing them just makes me uncomfortable in hindsight :/

So, I wasn't planning on replying to this because I didn't want to hurt anyone by sharing it, or by my reply. It's something that calls for some nuance that I worry I won't be able to explore properly. But I had a thought and I wanted to share it. Trigger warning: Mentions of transphobia, JKR, and suicidal thoughts. Note: This has been tagged for black lists so people can avoid it. Apologies for those in the fandom tags.

-

So, I'm trans. That's something I'm always pretty open about online, especially as I haven't had much safe space to be open about it in real life. My transition process has been somewhat public, even if I've been pretty quiet about things in the past few years. If you search my blog, you can probably find the posts where I started exploring my gender around 2016-2017ish. They're posted along side Drarry posts, among other fandoms I was in. You will also find that I stopped posting as much Drarry a few years later, with little correlation to what the author was saying or doing at the time because I wasn't on Twitter and hadn't heard the news yet. I drifted fandoms a bit, then I went on Twitter and... yeah.

Now here's where it gets a bit complicated, and personal. A Drarry fanfiction saved my life because it helped convince me that I could transition. That I could be trans and it was okay. A Drarry fanfic told me I wasn't too old, I wasn't wrong, it's not too late, and it's okay to do the things that make you happy even if you spent half your life doing the things that people told you were right but were wrong for you. I'm not dramatizing this in any way. I read this fanfic when I was in a really bad place, when I was figuring out I was trans and in a horrible relationship with a shitty person and I was scared to death. All I could think was that there was no way out for me. I'm not saying this to guilt anyone for not liking Drarry/Harry Potter. I'm not saying it to defend JKR or any of the things she's made, said, or done. I'm not saying it because I'm a traitor to the trans community or that Harry Potter is even that important to me. I'm saying it because a writer out there wrote a Drarry fanfiction with no intention of it being life saving, and yet they did save my life. They just wanted to create something fun, and meaningful, with two characters from some books. Did it have to be Harry Potter? For them, yes. They read those books and saw more to the characters than JKR ever could, and they gave us a story that is so meaningful and transformative that I literally did the thing JKR hates with her entire bitter, little heart. Because of a person in the fandom. Now, I personally feel a disconnect from those books these days. She's really, truly ruined those memories for me in ways I can't even put into words. Worse even, was seeing that there were bigotries in those books that I was ignorant to, as a child. Things I didn't see because I didn't know. And knowing now that it was always there, the hatred and ugliness, makes the original material poison to me. And god, don't get me started on messy fandom spaces. Don't look towards the Interview With a Vampire fandom at all. It's, unfortunately, a large part of being in a group space with people who like a thing. There will be hateful people, there will be Bad people. But there are also NOT those people. There are queer people who still love their fandoms. There are people writing trans Harry Potter fics. There are people cosplaying Draco in a skirt and fuck gender rolls we're vibing here. There's also a massive difference between enjoying a community built by fans, and directly supporting JKR with money and attention. What you do in response to her cruelty is totally valid, however you decide. Deleting the content is completely understandable. Not wanting to see anything Harry Potter related is also valid, especially when so many of us have been seriously hurt by her. Not supporting JKR in views or money is important to supporting trans people. But I can't tell people how to respond, how to behave, or how to experience the fandom. Trauma responses vary by person. Being angry and yet completely embracing the fandom to the point where it belongs to the fans is also a super valid reaction. People are a complex system of experiences and reactions. There is no one set way to respond. There is always room to learn, there is always room to listen. The unfortunate truth, however, is this has happened before with creators who we learn are complete assholes, and will happen again. The best we can do is support one another and regularly tell the people who are out to hurt us to fuck right off.

[serpentinearchitect17]

Hi there 😊

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but I just had an idea for a particular scene today, so I decided to write about it. I’m taking a break from anything Red, White & Royal Blue related to focus on my current love and hyperfixation: Avatar the Last Airbender. I started watching the series last fall, and I haven’t been able to turn my mind off from it since then. Unsurprisingly, I quickly became obsessed with and fascinated by Zuko and Katara’s dynamic. They’ve become my muse lately. I’m working on a Zutara fanfic as we speak, and I’ll create a post about it once I get it up on AO3.

In the meantime, I wrote this very short scene. It takes place several months after the end of the 100 Year War. Zuko has made great progress as the Fire Lord, and Katara is now an Ambassador for the Southern Water Tribe. They’re in a committed and loving relationship at this point. I used some direct quotes from the Brooklyn 99 episode, “Chasing Amy.” This was initially meant to be a quick, humorous thing, but it turned into something sweeter (I have no regrets, heh). Full disclaimer: If you know anything about the reference to the B-99 scene, you’ll understand that Jake and Amy did have a significant moment of affection on that rooftop, whether it was technically love or not. As for Zuko and Katara, I personally don’t believe they were anywhere close to feeling love or deep affection in the Crystal Catacombs, but I think it’s the first time they truly connected on an emotional level.

Anyway, without further ado…

*****

After a long day of beginning preliminary discussions with the Earth King about the newest trade agreements among the Earth Kingdom, Southern Water Tribe, and the Fire Nation, Ambassador Katara snuck off for some alone time in Ba Sing Se. She managed to convince the Earth King to let her down into the Crystal Catacombs, even though most individuals in the city have been strictly prohibited from ever entering the area again. It’s still in the process of getting repurposed for better, more humane uses. She gave him some flimsy excuse as to why she wants to venture into the cavern. Despite the deep frown he gave her, he apparently didn’t question her motives, and had a couple of guards (thankfully, not the Dai Li) follow her to ensure that she made it there safely. She didn’t need the protection, of course, but she didn’t feel like arguing. She had told the Earth King not to let anyone else know where she was; she promised him that she’d be back to her guest house later.

Now, she finds herself back in the same spot that she was imprisoned with a then-banished Fire Prince.

Just as she runs a hand over one of the crystals, she hears soft footsteps behind her and turns around to find the love of her life.

The Fire Lord is dressed in his formal regalia, but he’s taken his crown off, and his top knot is undone, leaving his shaggy fringe hanging over his bright, golden eyes.

“There you are! Thank Agni,” he sighs in relief, drawing nearer.

A look of surprise flits across her face. “Hey, how did you find me?”

He raises his eyebrow at her. “Well, the Earth King didn’t want to tell me at first, but I figured it out. If I recall correctly, a long time ago, Master Katara and the banished Crown Prince Zuko were trapped under Ba Sing Se, in the Crystal Catacombs.” He gestures to their surroundings, and his lips quirk into a tiny smile. “This is where we were the night you fell in love with me.”

Katara snorts, shaking her head. She crosses her arms and gives him a half-hearted glare. “Zuko,” she warns, with just a bit of an edge to her voice.

“All right, fine. The night that you flirted with me for 20 seconds and I became obsessed with you forever,” he amends sheepishly, his cheeks flushing.

“That’s slightly more accurate.” She steps closer to him, so that there is barely any space between them. She reaches up toward his face, tracing her fingers over his scarred cheek.

“Are you okay?” he murmurs, automatically leaning into her touch.

“Yeah,” she answers softly. “I guess I just wanted to come back to see what it was like, now that things are so different.”

He swallows nervously, though he keeps his eye contact steady. “I understand. I kind of did, too, honestly. I hope…” he pauses, looking like he was choosing his words carefully. She waits patiently for him, and in the next moment, he continues, “I hope we can associate better memories with this place. They’ll never be perfect, of course, because of all the bad things that happened here before. But, maybe when we think of it from now on, it won’t be quite so grim.”

She nods before pulling him into her arms. He hugs her back with everything he has in him, pouring all of his affection and love, and apologies and regret into the gesture.

He lets her go briefly to press a kiss to her forehead. “Do you want to head back up?” he asks quietly, cradling her to his chest with his chin resting on top of her head. “We can probably explore more parts of the city before our next meeting, if you want to.”

She glances up at him and smiles. “Not yet. Let’s just stay a little while longer.”

He agrees and holds her, while the green crystals glow around them.

Yes, she thinks to herself, we’ll have better memories from now on.

[thaddeusthawne]

Thank You

Snowells Week 2023: Day 7: Year 7 (Snowells Appreciation Day)

So this is going to be a little different from the other days I will post for this week. I still have more to post but I’ve been a bit delayed due to personal reasons but they will be put out soon! That being said, I wanted to say thank you to everyone in this fandom.

In different ways you guys have inspired me to start creating things that most fandoms haven’t. Maybe it’s because most fandoms are so big and intimidating to join but for me, the snowells fandom has always been this safe place to interact with. Whether it’s everyone’s collective excitement over snowells related scenes or funny joke posts this fandom felt easy to enjoy and participate in.

Funny enough I didn’t start shipping snowells until I ran into my first fanfic for this ship. I knew about it because I had followed some snowells peeps on my old blog (deleted it and recreated a new main & this side blog) but I never really understood the fascination for it. However one night I remember just scrolling on tumblr and accidentally clicking on the wrong ao3 link. For the life of me I can’t remember what fic it was but that’s only because I ended up reading pretty much everything that I could find. This was around the time that the beginning of season 2 was airing if that helps give an idea of what I walking into in terms of the fandom content. I stayed up that night just reading, clicking on fics randomly. I finally understood. And then a short time later Harry saved Caitlin from Grodd and then in the next episode she saved him from a bullet.

I was hooked and excited at the possibility on them getting together and started to silently enjoy them. I looked forward to every possible scene and over the years I kept thinking “Maybe it might finally happen!”. It never did of course but it did give me a lot of ideas.

Then in 2019 I finally found the courage to make my own stuff. It was nerve-racking but I had seen other people’s works and ideas met with so much positivity that I felt brave enough to try. Then I started to post some things and I was like “They’re reblogging it? And liking it? And leaving comments in the tags? 😳🥹🥰”. It meant a lot to me back then and it still means so much to me now. While I still have moments of self doubt, I look back on where I started and how far I’ve come. I honestly don’t think I would have been able to do that in any other fandom.

This community allowed me a space to grow as a writer/creator. I still have room to grow, but being able to participate and get even a few comments really helped build up my confidence and motivated me to learn to improve my skills. I went from writing maybe a few paragraphs to starting to flesh things out way more and planning out more extensive stories. Even though the show is over, I still plan to keep writing for this ship. I’m going to miss this show and these characters but I am hopeful that this fandom will still stay a source of comfort for me and anyone else who might feel the same way.

And while this ship may not have sailed, it was still fun to party on the boat.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Past Unknown

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

I am so excited for this one guys omg. I’m not gonna delay with the summary. Marvin and JJ are tracking down Anti, after Distorter managed to take him from right under IRIS’s nose. And meanwhile, Anti himself is not having a good time, but Distorter is enjoying making illusions for him, and isn’t that what really matters? =) Let’s see how this all works out. Wait until the end for a surprise guest :)

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter

It felt very unsafe in the car right now. Jack hadn’t been kidding when he said he wasn’t a good driver. Marvin and JJ were having trouble adjusting to the sudden starts and stops and too-wide turns around corners.Those had slowed down a bit when they got out of the city streets and onto the motorway, but now they were going fast. Perhaps a bit faster than the speed limit.

“You know Jems’ car has a—what’s it called?” Marvin paused for a moment. “Right, a cruise control. Are you usin’ t’at?”

“I don’t know how to turn it on in this model,” Jack said, not taking his eyes off the road.

“I t’ink it’s a button on the steering wheel? In t’at spot.” Marvin leaned forward into the gap between the front seats and pointed. “Just press whatever’s t’ere.”

“Y’know, I don’t really want to take my hands off the wheel, so can one of you guys do that?”

JJ glanced over at Jack. I think that’s even less safe.

“Marvin, what did he say?” Jack didn’t turn his head to look at JJ’s signing.

“He says t’at’s even more unsafe,” Marvin translated.

Sam, sitting on the dashboard, rolled around, creating an effect like they were rolling their eyes—or, whatever you would call it when that eye made up their entire being. They hopped into the air and flew to the spot Marvin had indicated, pressing the button there with the end of their nerve-tail.

“Right. Thanks, Sam,” Jack said, a little bit of tension leaving his posture.

JJ nodded at Sam, also thanking them, then looked back out the window. His eyes glowed bright blue, as they had been on and off for the past hour or so. He was using a tracking spell to find Anti. One that would give them instant results. But that came with some drawbacks. The spell didn’t tell them how to get to where Anti was, only his location. So they’d been forced to guess on which roads to take—which probably hadn’t helped the unsafe feeling in the car.

They were going steadily north, out of the city. That matched up with what they knew. There was, apparently, a strange facility to the north owned by the company IRIS. That had been where Anti was for the past few days. But now, he was gone. Distorter had... done something. They didn’t know the details. But they knew they had to intercept Anti before Distorter got him back to the city... back to that house on Aspen Street.

“How are we lookin’, Jems?” Marvin asked.

We’re closer, JJ said. We might need to get off at an exit soon.

Marvin raised an eyebrow. He looked out his own window, past the lanes of cars. The motorway was currently cutting through some empty-looking fields. “Are you sure? Not much out t’ere. What if t’ere’s not an exit for a while?”

Then we’ll have to improvise, Jameson said grimly.

Marvin sighed. “I was afraid you’d say t’at. Hey, Jack. Jems says we’re gettin’ closer. Get ready t’get off the motorway soon.”

“Right.” Jack nodded. “Uh... how much space do you need between cars to change lanes?”

A lot, Jameson said hurriedly.

“A lot,” Marvin repeated, stressing the importance.

“Right. That’s probably enough space, d’you think?” And before either of them could respond, Jack was already switching lanes.

The other two braced themselves, grabbing onto parts of the car as others on the highway honked and Jack jerked the steering wheel back.

“I guess that wasn’t enough,” Jack muttered.

Marvin and Jameson exchanged glances. At this point, Distorter was the least of their worries. A threat, but not one they would ever get to face if they got into a wreck on the way there.

They both really hoped that wouldn’t happen. They had enough to deal with.

———————

This was his home. The house he’d known for most of his early life. He never thought he’d be back here again. But he was. He recognized it immediately. The dull brown-yellow wallpaper with a faded pattern, the box of a TV sitting on the floor, the sofa that sagged in the middle. He was here.

And he wasn’t alone. All his friends were here too. And all his family. His four best friends were in the living room. It was cramped, even with just them in there, so he excused himself from the conversation to go check on the others. They didn’t mind. Jackie smiled at him, and Schneep gave him a pat on the back, while Marvin and Jameson told him to tell the others hi for them.

The kitchen/dining room was the same as ever. The appliances hadn’t been updated, and they would probably keep going until they caused a house fire. There was even the same overflowing trash bin next to the plastic dining table and chairs. Rama and Michelle were in here, and so was Stacy. They all waved at him.

He went into the hallway to check elsewhere. Nobody was in the bathroom. Then again, who would want to be in there? It wasn’t the worst bathroom ever, but the cracked tiles and mold on the shower curtain didn’t make anyone want to stay.

Jack was in the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed and looking through a box of photographs, Sam sitting in his lap. He asked him about some of them, but he didn’t answer.

At the end of the hallway was the door to the garage, and the trapdoor leading to the attic. He reached up and pulled on the dangling cord, opening the trapdoor and letting the ladder fall down. Climbing up, he found himself in another familiar room. So... so familiar. The faded posters on the walls, the piles of dirty laundry, the miscellaneous junk shoplifted from stores, and the old computer on a desk that was the only clean spot in the big room. He’d never forget this place.

Will was sitting on the floor by the one, circular window in the room. He walked over and sat down next to him. They stared out at the hills together, all grass dotted with trees.

It should have been peaceful. But instead, his skin was crawling.

Why were they all here? Why did they know about this place? When had they found it? He didn’t want them here. He didn’t want anyone here.

The lights went out in the house. Outside, the sun disappeared.

The circuit breaker was in the garage. He stood up to go turn it on.

Don’t turn it on.

He climbed back down the ladder to the first floor hallway. Everyone was where he’d left them, shocked and confused. He made sure they were all there, then went back to the door that led to the garage.

Don’t make me turn it on.

His skin was still crawling, shivers increasing now, but he kept moving. Even though he wanted to stop. Even though he wanted to run. He reached the door and opened it, stepping into the garage.

Please.

They never had a car. The garage was just used for storage, since the attic was already full of unwanted things. He walked past boxes and random objects until he reached the breaker mounted on the wall. It sparked as he opened it up. Some of the fuses continued to spark as he reached to flip everything back on.

Please please please please please—

He turned it all on.

And then the screaming started.

No!

He ran back into the house, but it was too late. The rooms were filled with smoke. It stung his eyes. Through his tears he could see bright orange flames. They were all screaming. The sound was tearing his ears apart. The sound was tearing his heart apart. Where were they?! Where were they?!

No no no no no no no please! Please!

He ran through the house, but it was collapsing around him. The heat was searing. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t find anyone. But he knew they were screaming. They were dying. It was all his fault.

No...

It’s all your fault.

No! No!

Say it.

It... it’s all my fault...

Finally.

Anti gasped. He stumbled and tripped, collapsing to the ground. Solid earth. Dirt covered in grass. Not burning carpets. That—whatever that just was, it was—it was just a dream. It was all just a dream. Even if it felt so... so real...

“Are you sure it wasn’t?”

His head jerked up at the voice. There, grinning down at him, was Distorter. For the first time in a while, Anti tried to make out his features. Stacy had said something about the color of his eyes, once. She’d seen them. But he just saw pure black, dripping blood. “Sh-shut... shut up.” He hated how weak his voice was.

Distorter crouched, lowering to the ground right in front of Anti. “You didn’t answer my question,” he said in a creepily singsong voice. “Are you sure it wasn’t real?”

“It... it couldn’t have been.” Anti shifted position, trying to stand up, or at least get to his hands and knees. It... wasn’t really working out. Why were his muscles so weak? Why weren’t his arms and legs listening to him? “There’s... there’s no way that... something like that... would happen. Just... logically.”

“World’s not as ‘logical’ as we like to think,” Distorter said. “Sometimes things just... are. And sometimes things just aren’t.”

“Why are you doing this?!” Anti blurted out. He finally managed to get his arms under control, and lifted himself partially off the ground. “You—I-I thought you wanted me to die. Not—not go through all this. Wh-what, do you want to be friends now?”

Distorter sighed. “Your memory is really terrible.” Despite the sigh, he didn’t sound disappointed at all. “We’ve talked about this before, Aodhán.”

“Don’t call me th—”

“That’s who you are.” Distorter snarled. An unusual thing to see when that smile still didn’t fade. “And don’t distract me. We’ve talked about this before, Aodhán. You promised to give me anything for your son and goddaughter’s safety. This is part of ‘anything.’”

Anti’s heart stopped. “Will... In that place, th-they said—they said h-he never came back. You never... Did you ever give him back? Or... this whole time, did...?”

Distorter’s smile widened. “Your son is safe. And away from you. If you ask me, those things aren’t a coincidence.”

Anger surged, giving Anti the strength to try and get up again. “You fucking—”

Before he could finish his insult, Distorter’s hand shot out and grabbed his face, blackened nails scraping his skin. That ever-present smile disappeared. “You’re going to die, Aodhán McLoughlin,” he whispered. “But not until I have everything I need from you and the people you love. Not until I have what I want, and everyone else is gone. And you’ll help me do it, Aodhán. And only once you realize that you’re all alone, just as you deserve to be... only then will you die. And you will deserve that, too.”

Anti couldn’t help but shiver. His mind went blank. There was warm liquid dripping down his face.

Distorter stared into his eyes for a few seconds more. Then that smile returned, and he let go of Anti’s face. “We need to get there first, of course,” he said in a falsely cheerful tone as he stood. “Come on! Get up!”

He didn’t want to. In fact, he collapsed again, pressing his forehead to the ground. The smell of earth was strong, and he breathed it in deeply. It was tinged with the metallic tang of blood.

“Aw, are you really going to make me do this again?” Distorter said. “Well, it’s your choice. You’re just making this harder for yourself.”

Anti’s vision started to fade, and he felt himself drifting away. No! Wait! He tried to struggle, tried to claw his way back to reality, but it wasn’t enough. Not another one of those dreams! Please! Please!

The darkness consumed him. 

———————

“You know, I don’t think I can drive us anywhere closer to where you’re trying to get,” Jack said, parking the car.

They were on a small dirt road, out in the middle of nowhere. It had taken a few wrong turns and double-backs to get here. But now, they were stuck.

Jameson nodded in agreement. The tracking spell told him Anti was nearby, but he was pretty sure there was no road leading directly to his location. Thank you, he said. I can drive on the way back.

“Oh, I’d be happy to—”

No, it’s fine, I won’t need to concentrate on the tracking spell, JJ insisted. In the back seat, Marvin chuckled.

Jack shrugged. “Alright, if you’re sure.” He turned off the car and handed the keys to JJ. “Now... where do we go from here?”

JJ’s eyes flared blue again, and he pointed into a nearby field.

“D’you t’ink we can get my chair t’rough the grass?” Marvin asked.

“It’s not that high,” Jack said.

“I’m more worried about bumpin’ around.” Marvin made eye contact with both of them. “But neither of you tell me to stay back, okay? We’re out in the middle of nowhere. It doesn’ seem safe to stay in the car, especially since Distorter coul’ be nearby.”

JJ nodded. Would you prefer to wheel yourself or have one of us push you? he asked.

Marvin thought about it. “It’ll be faster if one o’you pushes.”

“I can do it,” Jack volunteered. “JJ will probably need his hands free. For magic. Or sign language.”

Marvin leaned forward. “If you make my brain rattle around I’m gonna smack you the moment we get back to the car.”

Jack chuckled. “I got it. Just tell me if it gets too much.”

They all got out of the car, locking it behind them. It took a moment to get Marvin’s wheelchair out of the trunk, but soon they were on their way, JJ leading as he followed the distant beacon of the tracking signal. Sam flew around them, full of nervous energy. Nobody spoke. 

The dirt road had disappeared by the time they saw the distant movement. A figure was walking slowly through the grass. Marvin raised a hand to shield his vision from the sun. “T’at might be him,” he said quietly.

“Which one?” Jack asked.

“Looks like Anti, I t’ink.”

JJ’s eyes flared blue. He nodded. That’s what the spell says. I don’t see Distorter, but that’s not saying much. He could be hiding from our perception. The glow in his eyes didn’t fade. Be careful.

Marvin nodded firmly. Jack nodded as well, looking a bit more uncertain. Even Sam bobbed up and down in confirmation.

They picked up the pace a little bit. It soon became clear that the figure was, indeed, Anti. He didn’t turn to look at them as they got closer, just kept walking, occasionally stumbling. And he kept walking like that up until the moment Jameson strode up to him and grabbed his arm. When that happened, he stopped.

“Anti...?” Marvin said, his voice quiet and cautious.

Anti didn’t answer. He still didn’t look at them. Jameson waved a hand in front of his face, and got no reaction. Not even a blink. This wasn’t too surprising. After all, the twin trails of blood dripping from his eyes were a tell-tale sign of Distorter’s control. 

“Are... are you okay, Anti?” Jack asked uncertainly. “You... don’t look so good.”

Besides the bleeding eyes, Anti was pale. His hair was a mess, and so were his clothes, and there were dark bags under his eyes. Five small wounds on his face were also bleeding. That, combined with the eyes, had stained his white shirt red. His bare arms were dotted with occasional bruises.

Jameson glanced around. He looked at their surroundings—really looked. Tried to peer through whatever perception-altering magic was in the area. But he couldn’t see anything. Until—

Sam suddenly spun around and darted straight at something behind them. “Gah!” And then they flew right back, spinning end over end and landing in the grass. “Stupid fucking eyeball!”

Jack and Jameson immediately turned around, with Jack also spinning Marvin’s chair around as well. “T’ere you are!” Marvin gasped. His fists clenched. “What did ye do to Anti?!”

Distorter was glaring at the spot where Sam landed, but he looked at Marvin as soon as he heard him shout. “Hello, Marvin. It’s been a while.” His voice was calm and vaguely happy, a huge contrast to the angry exclamation a few seconds ago. “I’m surprised you made it all the way out here. You know, with you being the way you are.” He gestured vaguely at the chair.

“Shut the fuck up, it’s your fault and you know it!” Marvin shouted. “And I’m quite capable, t’ank you! What did you do to Anti?!”

“We spent a little time together.” Distorter shrugged. “It was great! I haven’t gotten that much time with one of you since Jackie was home with me.” He laughed.

Jameson stepped forward. He didn’t say anything, just raised a hand. Shards of blue magic danced around his fingers.

Distorter raised his hands and stepped backwards. “There’s no need for that, Jameson. I’ll just go.”

“Wait, what?” Jack glanced back and forth between Distorter, Marvin and Jameson, and Anti. “I don’t—That doesn’t seem—Is that... normal?”

Jameson shook his head. He didn’t lower his hand.

“...oh. It’s... you.” Distorter stared at Jack, head tilted to the side. “I don’t think we’ve met, but I’ve seen you in some of their memories. Jack, right? You’re Anti’s cousin.”

Jack swallowed nervously. “Uh... y-yeah...” Sam lifted up from the ground behind them, shook themself a bit, and then flew over to hover by Jack’s shoulder.

Distorter kept staring at Jack. “...you are so lucky that dumb eyeball is there for you,” he said quietly. “You’re wide open. It’s only their light guarding you. I’d hate to think what someone could do to you if they weren’t there.”

“H-huh?” Jack’s face went white.

“You don’t have to be involved with this. I’m not giving you a second chance after this one.” Distorter began walking backwards. “In any case. I’ll see you all again.” He laughed again, and gave a little mock-salute with his hand before fully turning around and walking away.

They all stared—Jameson, especially. His raised hand was wavering a bit.

“Jems,” Marvin whispered. Jameson looked down at him, and Marvin raised his hands to sign the words, Do it.

Jameson hesitated. Then he looked back at Distorter, retreating. His hand moved, becoming a single pointed finger. And a line of cold blue magic shot from the end, hitting Distorter square in the back.

Distorter yelped in surprise as he was knocked to the ground. He quickly stood up again. Blue magic was growing like frost from the impact site on his back, trying to surround him, but he shook it off, moving in a quick, spasming way that made it hard for the magic to keep its hold. Once it was fully gone, he turned around—just in time to see Jameson shooting another beam of magic at him. He bent backwards, the motion accompanied by a few sick cracking noises, and then shot upright again. “Well that’s just playing dirty,” he said in a low voice. “You know what? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

Before Jameson could try another spell, Anti suddenly screamed and collapsed. The three others all immediately turned to look at him. “Anti!” Marvin gasped, and Jameson ran forward. Anti had fallen forward into the grass, so Jameson knelt beside him and rolled him onto his back, then lifted him into a sitting position. Anti’s head fell back, his body totally limp. Jameson pulled Anti against himself to help support him. He checked for a pulse in his neck.

Marvin wheeled himself closer, and Jack and Sam were right behind him. “Is he alrigh’?” he asked, leaning forward.

Jameson nodded hesitantly. There was a pulse. But Anti’s eyes were rolled back into his head, almost completely white. Sam flew over and landed on Anti’s leg, curling their nerve-tail beneath them.

“How is it, Sam?” Jack asked. Sam looked up at him. After a long moment of silence, Jack went even paler—if such a thing was possible. “A-are you sure?” More silence. “Alright. I guess—I guess we should get him somewhere safe. Somewhere we can keep an eye on him. Is... is your guys’s house alright?”

“I... yes?” Marvin said. “Wait, does Sam have some sort of—some sort of mind powers we don’ know abou’?!”

“Well, they can talk with me telepathically, so they’ve always had mind powers,” Jack said. “But this isn’t like that. Sam can...” He paused, searching for the words. “Sam can... purify things.”

Marvin just blinked, even more confused. “Like... unicorns?”

“What?”

“Unicorns in legend are said t’be able to get rid of poison and do t’ings like clean whole ponds of water.”

“Well, I guess? It’s more like in a video game, like an RPG, sometimes you have a character with a move to remove status effects.”

“I’ll stick wit’ the unicorn metaphor,” Marvin said, but Jameson nodded in understanding.

“Anyway, Sam’s been able to fix Distorter’s effects before,” Jack continued. “They said they did it with you once, Marvin. But more relevantly, one time we found Anti out in the city, unconscious. Sam said Distorter had him in some sort of illusion and they were able to break him out. Apparently this is a similar situation, but... a lot stronger. They’re... going to need some time. And I don’t think the middle of a field is the best place to do that.”

Jameson nodded firmly. Marvin, do you think you can hold onto Anti? I think it’ll be easier if we push you two together.

“Oh. Yeah, o’course. Seems a bit difficult, but worth a shot.”

Another nod from Jameson, and he turned his attention back to Anti. He stood, carefully lifting him into the air, moving slowly as if Anti was made of glass. Then he passed him to Marvin, who took a moment to adjust both his position and Anti’s. The result was a bit awkward-looking, with Anti cradled in Marvin’s lap, his legs draped over the arm of the wheelchair. But Marvin was holding him tight.

“Alright.” Marvin took a deep breath. “Let’s go. I hope you remember how t’get back to the car.”

“I got it,” Jack said, slowly turning Marvin’s chair back around.

The group started walking. A few minutes passed before Jameson looked at Jack and said, So... you’re Anti’s cousin, then?

Jack laughed. “H-he didn’t want you guys to know. Yet. I think he was going to tell you eventually, but who knows when that would be? E-either way, um, it should have been his choice. Not Distorter’s.”

Jameson nodded. So... that photograph you wanted me to talk to Anti about?

“It was my aunt’s. Anti’s mom. I, uh... to be honest, I-I didn’t know I had a cousin until after she was... gone. And I never thought I’d meet him...” Jack shook his head. “I’m sorry, this is—this is really Anti’s conversation to have.”

Jameson was silent for a moment. I hope we’ll get to have it one day.

“We will,” Marvin said firmly. “We will.” His arms tightened around Anti’s limp body, as if he was afraid he’d disappear.

———————

No no no no not here!

The city was dark, the buildings indistinct in the night. Something went wrong with the lighting in this town, because there should have been all sorts of streetlights and lit signs illuminating the streets. But there weren’t. It was dark except for the occasional yellow square of light provided by a window. There weren’t even any cars in the area. No bright headlights to let him know someone else was awake in this town.

He couldn’t remember the name of the city. He wasn’t even fully sure how he got here. Had he hitchhiked or taken a bus? Maybe a train? It didn’t really matter. He didn’t dwell on the past.

He’d been walking for a while. His muscles felt weak and disconnected from his mind. Though that may have been something else...

Please, anywhere but here! Any moment but this!

“Aodhán!”

God, that fucking voice. It pissed him off just hearing it. He stopped walking, leaning against one of the few streetlights for support. His head was spinning, so he turned around slowly. And there was that man. They’d run into each other over and over since he’d been in this city. It could be said that they were in the same sort of circles, but that wasn’t quite true. The man liked to occasionally dance into those circles, but mostly watched them for his own amusement. His name was Connor. You’d never forget his name after this.

Connor was standing outside a restaurant. No, a pub. There were a few others with him, two men and two women who were the same sort of people. He stared at him, looking him up and down, and smirked. “Are you high tonight or just drunk?”

He growled, and flipped Connor off, not pointing out that Connor was loitering outside a pub.

“Both, then?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Shu’ teh feck up, yea?” Connor repeated mockingly. He and his friends laughed.

He glared at him. “Maybe get a better hobby, Connor. Go back to school and actually become that self-made man you always claim to be. Maybe then your mother’ll love you and you’ll get a girlfriend for longer than a month. Because right now nobody could love a fucking child like you. Even your friends here are gonna leave, and then you’ll die alone.” He didn’t mean to talk so much. He was just so, so fed up with this man.

Connor stopped laughing. He waved at his friends, and they all fell silent as well. One by one, they disappeared into the pub. “I’ve been sick of you since the moment you walked into my city, Aodhán. And you’re really asking for it tonight. So I’m finally going to give it to you.”

“Take me to dinner first,” he said mockingly.

And then Connor jumped him. He pulled him into the alley beside the pub and immediately started throwing punch after punch.

He knew how to defend himself, though.

I don’t want to see this.

First, he returned the punches. They were a little wide and sloppy, but he didn’t stop. That anger was feuling him. It was edging him on. Pushing him further.

I don’t want to see this!

He needed more. And he had just the thing. He’d picked it up for self-defense, and that included this, right? He reached into his pocket...

I DON’T WANT TO SEE THIS!

The knife slid easily into flesh. Connor paused. He probably thought it was a really good punch. Nothing more.

But then he pulled it out and stabbed again.

And that’s when Connor realized something was wrong. He screamed and staggered back. “You’re fucking insane! You fucking psycho!”

Again.

Connor slumped back against the wall, groaning, and that finally drained the anger.

He stared down at him. Then at the knife in his hand. Ice water splashed over him. He just—no. No, he—didn’t mean to. He—It was just—This was self-defense—He should have just ran away—But he’d been so—It was—No. No no no no no! This isn’t what he wanted!

What were you expecting?

He screamed. And then he turned and broke into a dead sprint down the street. He didn’t look back. He just ran and ran and ran until he collapsed. And then he woke up and kept going, until the city was far behind him.

He didn’t die.

You don’t know that.

I would have heard. I would have heard.

You can never know for sure.

I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it.

That doesn’t matter. It’s still your fault.

I know.

Then say it.

It’s all my fault.

You’re horrible.

I’m horrible.

A monster.

A monster.

I’m glad we’re on the same page.

———————

“Do you think we should get him a new shirt? This one’s covered in blood.”

“Well any shirt he wears is going t’be covered in the stuff until the bleedin’ stops.”

“When will that be?”

“Dunno. However long it takes Sam to do t’is.”

Marvin, Jameson, and Jack had gotten back to Marvin and JJ’s house just a minute ago. They had immediately gathered in the living room. Jack and Marvin had laid Anti down on the sofa, head propped on a pillow with a towel covering it, and Sam had flown over and curled up on his chest. Mr. Fluffiington had come into the room not long after, and had jumped up to sit on Anti’s stomach. Marvin chose to believe that was because he sensed Anti needed all the help he could get.

“Well, like I said, Sam thinks it’ll take a while,” Jack said. “So...” He trailed off. “Should we be worried about blood loss?”

“It doesn’ come out at a very fast rate, but if it’s a long enough time, yes.” Marvin nodded. “I don’... remember how long I was stuck in the house for. The last time, I mean. When my leg broke. But for however long t’at was, I’d lost enough blood to worry the doctors.”

“Oh fuck.” Jack ran a hand through his hair. “Should we take him to a hospital, then?”

“Is there a hospital t’at won’ mind a flying green eyeball spendin’ time wit’ him?” Marvin drawled.

“You’re the one who said you lost a worrying amount of blood!”

Marvin winced. “...I know,” he whispered. “I... we might have t’risk it. Sam’s rather small, they can hide if someone comes into the room.” He sighed. “Jems, what d’you t’ink?” He looked over his shoulder at JJ. “Uh... Jems?”

Jameson was standing at the living room window, staring intently through the glass.

“Jems!” Marvin half-yelled.

Jameson jumped. Sorry! But... there’s someone outside.

Marvin tensed. He turned his chair around and wheeled over, also looking out. There was never too much traffic on the street, so they’d both learned to recognize their neighbors’ vehicles. The motorcycle parked outside their house wasn’t one of them. It was black and silver, with a fair amount of rust from age. The man leaning against it was dressed in a black jacket with fur on the inside of the hood, which was currently pulled up to partially cover his upper face. The lower half of his face was hidden by a cloth mask.

He’s been staring at our house, JJ said, turning back to the window. I don’t think he’s noticed me looking back yet.

“Huh.” Marvin squinted. “Wait a minute... I t’ink... Is that Henrik?”

Jameson’s head whipped towards him. What?! How do you know?!

“T’ose might be his boots,” Marvin muttered. “They don’ have the weird leg-brace parts, y’know, the parts that he said helped reduce shock damage from falls or somet’ing, but I still t’ink it’s—Jems?!”

Halfway through Marvin’s speech, Jameson had turned and ran out of the living room. He ran all the way to the front door, pausing a moment to fling it open, and then kept running outside—running towards the man.

That man noticed him the moment he sprinted out through the front door. He muttered something Jameson couldn’t hear and quickly got onto the motorcycle, starting it up. Jameson made a throwing motion, and a ball of blue magic flew through the air and splashed against the cycle. The engine made a distinct stalling noise, and didn’t start. The man cursed. He looked towards Jameson, glanced down the street as if he was considering making a run for it, and then sighed. “Since when could you do that?” he said.

Jameson skidded to a halt only a few feet from the man. If there’d been any doubt before, it disappeared the moment he heard the familiar voice. What the hell were you thinking?! he signed.

Schneep pushed his hood back, but didn’t remove his mask. “Do you know how long it took me to find this? Or how long it took me to figure out how to drive a motorcycle? Hell, I’m not sure if I know how to drive it even now—”

Shut up! Jameson interrupted. What are you doing here?! Why are you standing outside our house and watching us like a creep?! Were you planning on saying anything or just leaving?!

“Jameson—” Schneep started.

No, I said shut up! Jameson’s hands were moving almost too fast to interpret. Do you have any idea what’s happened since you’ve been gone?! It’s all gone to shit, I’ll tell you that! And you were just—just gone! We had no idea what happened to you! We were so worried! You could have been dead or worse! Why didn’t you call us? And don’t say because it wasn’t safe, you’ve already said that, and I’m not sure it’s enough!

“Jameson, if I could have contacted you all, I would have!” Schneep snapped. “But I could not! I know you’ve all been through terrible things in the meantime, but—but things were—they weren’t great for me, either! I-I was physically unable to reach you in any way!” He paused, taking deep breaths as he leaned forward, gripping the cycle’s handlebars tightly. The air seemed heavy, and Jameson could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. “I... am sorry,” Schneep said quietly. “For everything.”

A moment passed. Then, slowly, JJ nodded. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have shouted like that. It’s just... He trailed off. How was he supposed to say it? That he couldn’t let any more of his friends be harmed, and the worry about Schneep maybe being hurt while he couldn’t do anything about it was killing him? That’s a hard thing to say, with your voice or with your hands.

“I understand.” Schneep looked over at JJ again. “Did... did you get rid of the cameras inside your home?”

We were in the middle of it when you called us about Distorter getting to Anti, JJ explained. Then we rushed out to get to him.

Schneep nodded. “I cannot stay long then.” His eyes flickered towards the house, then back to JJ. “Jameson, I am not kidding about those cameras. I... will not risk it.” A pause. “Is... Anti... Is he okay?”

Well, we got him away from Distorter, JJ said. But he’s stuck in some sort of trance. Jack said Sam might be able to help him—

“Jack? Sam? They are both here?”

They’re inside. They overheard your conversation with us and offered to help.

Schneep laughed. “Of course they did.” He shook his head. “Noch mehr Menschen, um die man sich Sorgen machen muss...”

JJ continued. Well, Anti’s stuck in a trance, and Sam might be able to help him, but it’ll take a while. We’re not sure how long, but a while. We might need to take him to a hospital in the meantime. He hesitated. And... there was something about Distorter when we went to get Anti back... He... almost seemed to give up once we got there...

“Very unusual,” Schneep agreed. “Jameson, have either of you heard from Stacy?”

What? JJ didn’t hide his surprise. Well... No, not really. Not since we got back from rescuing Marvin, and that was... god, that was over a week ago. Ten days, I think? If not more. We probably should have checked on her, but it all got so busy... Why do you ask?

“You should check on her,” Schneep said.

Why?

“You just said you should, I am just confirming.”

JJ’s eyes narrowed. There’s something about the way you said it, though. Why are you being so vague?

Again, Schneep glanced towards the house. “Necessity.” Then he looked down at the motorcycle. He tried starting the engine again, and it turned on normally this time. “Glad to see that magic you threw didn’t have a permanent effect.”

Sorry about that, JJ said. I’m not even sure what that was, I just really didn’t want you to go. Raw power, I suppose. Sometimes magic responds to will without spells, but that can be dangerous, since there’s no direction... He trailed off. Wait, what are you doing?

“I said I couldn’t stay long.”

You can’t just go, though! JJ protested.

“I can, and I will,” Schneep said. “I might come back once you are done getting rid of the cameras. And I will definitely call again. Or text you, I suppose, if you agree to delete the messages once the conversation is done. We may be able to meet up somewhere discreet—”

But we need you! JJ insisted.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, isn’t it?” Schneep chuckled.

No, it’s not! JJ took a few steps closer. You’re the smartest of us, you know. And you’re a great fighter, too, when it comes down to it. And besides that—besides that, I can’t have another friend just LEAVE us! He blinked back the sudden wetness in his eyes. First you, then Jackie, then you again—it’s too much, Schneep!

Schneep stared at him. His eyes also seemed a bit wet. “I’m sorry, Jamie, but it’s not safe. I will call you, though. It may be another number. And... that bit about Jackie...” He trailed off.

Jameson stared at him. Yes?

It was hard to read Schneep’s expression with the mask covering his face. “Don’t... don’t worry about him. I mean, perhaps you should, considering—Nevermind, I just mean... I-I am going to handle him, okay? I think I have the best chance of getting through to him.”

What do you m—

But before Jameson could even finish his question, the cycle’s engine roared and Schneep pulled away, disappearing down the street and around the nearest corner.

[jmflowers]

8, 9, 11, 14, 24 💗

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

Oh, there are so many things puttering about in my brain. I’m really proud of myself for having written most of them down this year. There’s one prompt that’s been sitting in my inbox since June that I have tried several times to get started on and I’ve yet to be able to get it exactly right. I keep feeling slightly off-kilter once I get it going and I think that ultimately comes down to fear, since it centers on physical intimacy and I always shy away from writing things that could border into smut.

The thought was an exploration of a specific moment in time, one that was never mentioned in canon so it gives me a pretty ambiguous stretch of space to play with. And explicit smut was not requested, which is what makes my nerves around it so frustrating, haha. I’d like to use it as an opportunity to touch into a poem that’s been sitting in my inbox since May as part of the prompt party submissions, too. We’ll see. I think I just need to get over myself. Or talk through that moment in time over and over again until what I dream up feels really true to them.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

I have a monster piece that I’ve been working on for a couple of months that I’d like to finish before I head back to school next week. It’s sort of a sequel to Travel Light, in that it focuses on the trajectory of Beatrice’s life. I’ve nearly got part 1 (of 2? 3?) completed and I’m really looking forward to sharing it. It’s scary to post knowing part 2 hasn’t been started, but hopefully the first section will be able to standalone comfortably for a bit and then be a nice collection with the second section later.

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

I don’t know that I’m really a trope kind of writer. I definitely have a tendency to follow where characters take me and that’s rarely ever into fanfic-specific plot points or tropes. (I think?) I’ve been writing a lot of third person present tense for the last year, though, and I’d love to return to some of the more playful ways I used to write – specifically second person point of view. Writing in that format just tickles something in my brain that really challenges me and I don’t often get the opportunity to stretch those muscles.

14. Have you ever lost large chunks of your work in the past, due to not backing up your work? Will you change your methods this year?

Not writing so much, but I lost a ton of photos and documents back in 2012 when the hard drive in my computer got fried. I’ve been pretty good ever since – everything is backed up onto multiple external hard drives and anything I work on between both my laptop and desktop is stored on a cloud drive. School has trained me to be extremely organized with my files; I have no plans to change anything about my file management.

I did have a bunch of stories posted on FF.net back in the day and I went through years ago and removed anything that wasn’t complete that I didn’t intend to finish. I know I saved all of those documents, but I wish I had a clear record of what was once posted there. Occasionally an old reader will mention a specific story to me by title and I don’t usually have any memory of it.

24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who ___.”

I’d like the fandom to think of me as an author who wrote something that brought them comfort. Right now, I write to create safe spaces for myself, and I share my writing so that other people can find some safe spaces, too.

[kaisooficpodcast]

Author's Session with Haqiyin Part 1

I am Alexio Sospranio, and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.

For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoo world. Where we have authors on the show to give them a platform to talk about their writings and journey as an author in the fandom. 

Dear kaisoo listener, do get ready for a ride because it’s a special episode with a long qna with our author of the day. Just a brief rundown of what will happen in this episode. This episode is a two part episode. First part is today, dated the 12th, second part will be on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!

Today on the 12th is the first part where we will discuss the defining fics from the author of the day, followed by questions to get to know the author a bit more in terms of her writer’s journey. The second part, on the 14th we will be going through the three ‘i’s. What are the 3 ‘i’s? The 3 ‘i’s are Inspiration, Influence and Impact. Author’s inspiration for ideas, having others as influence for their direction and the author’s impact on the kaisoo fic community.

If you, dear listener, have been up to date with the podcast episodes, you will find that there will be similar questions to other author’s sessions. Each author brings in their own different perspectives and experiences. By asking similar questions, we get to see how diverse yet united kaisoo fic writers are. 

Joining me to do all that is author and artist haqiyin.

Haqiyin has been in this fandom since 2013 Growl era, that’s about 11 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was Chanyeol & Chen in EXO Showtime when she was 14 and in Secondary School. Haqiyin is currently into kaisoo and Hogwarts Legacy, the video game. Started writing kaisoo in April 2022 after reading kaisoo fanfics and sns aus on twitter earlier that year. Her works on ao3 amount to 39 fics and counting, and 29 for EXO.

Defining Fic 

Hello there haqiyin! 

Could you maybe start us off, what is that one or two fics that are completely yours and something that holds great significance to you? 

My Dear is a classic of mine that I loved writing. So is Noise, which is where I pour all of my Kaisoo fantasies into it. What makes it lovable for me is that it’s a Female pairing! And another one is Swap because I’ve been told by a few of my readers that fic was what defined me as one of the new Kaisoo smut-writers at the time. 

I see, so ‘my dear’ is a classic of yours, ‘noise’ is something that you could dive into your fantasies and ‘swap’ is an acclaimed fic by your readers.

We’ll have an episode just for ‘my dear’ by itself because I think that fic is very important to you, so we need to give the fic its due recognition. So for this segment for today’s episode, we will look at ‘noise’ and ‘swap’.

So we have two fics, let’s talk about ‘noise’ first.

Could you give us a sense of what ‘noise’ is for those who are not familiar?

Noise is basically a F/F relationship that is based on roommates to lovers, college romance, mixed in with a few kinks and sexual plot such as exhibitionism. 

The premise of ‘noise’ is uncommon, but not unheard of. But do share with us how it came about?

I just wanted to write an exhibitionism plot but I was also thinking of a F/F pairing for some reason. It turned out to be a “and they were roommates” plot with a little sprinkle of exhibitionism in it. I wanted it to be a one-shot, smutty and dirty plot but I got caught up with emotions writing about roommates to lovers, thus Noise was created. It was supposed to be dirty like my fic ‘No Reason’, but it wrote it fluffy sweet and spicy romantic instead. 

No Reason… yea the biggest part of that fic is the exhibitionism. Actually the thing that No Reason taught me was what exhibitionism is all about? And like being in a relationship where you are free to explore and indulge in your kinks in a safe way, without scarring anyone.

Yea but for noise as well… Kyungsoo did not at all shy away at the exhibitionism part where they were in Jongin’s home.

A question: why do you consider this fic to be one of the two fics you were emotionally attached to?

It was my first time ever writing a F/F pairing. It was experimental to me in the sense that I’m writing about their relationship and how they interact. I loved writing about their emotions because by then I was mostly writing smut and oneshots, with not much depth about relationship development, so it was a first dive for me when I was writing this fic. And also! There’s a lack of Kaisoo F/F fics out there so I thought it’d be good for me to contribute to the community. 

Contributing to the community you are indeed! And you did a great job in the dynamics between clingy Jongin and horny Kyungsoo.

And recently in mid March you did a 20 day calendar of fem!kaisoo oneshot series, covering things like tribbing and more. I’m too shy to say aloud, but I thank you for that, one for the girlies I see.

So that was haqiyin’s ‘noise’, one of two of her fics she was emotionally attached to. The other fic ‘my dear’, we will have a special episode for that fic, because I believe it deserves its own episode. So the next fic for this segment will be looking at ‘swap’ an acclaimed fic by your readers. Swap is part of the X-EXO series.

Could you give us a sense of what ‘swap’ is for those who are not familiar?

Swap is basically a smut fic that plays with X-EXO concept, that being X-EXO Kaisoo swapped partner with Earthling Kaisoo, it’s a 3 part oneshot, part 1 is X-EXO Kai with Kyungsoo, part 2 X-EXO D.O with Jongin and lastly part 3 is Kyungsoo and Jongin. 

The premise of ‘swap’ is very interesting. It involves clones and that is actually quite genius of you in doing that. Could you give us a bit of background of what inspired you from real life exo to have this x-exo au?

I was obsessed with EXO’s Obsession comeback and album, it was mostly inspired from Kai’s X-EXO photoshoot. I just needed to write one fic with him featured in, and that’s how Swap was created. Photoshoots and concepts really play a big part in my inspiration because I refer to pictures and events and content to be able to write and be inspired. 

Like as you mentioned, we do have x-exo that was explored with the obsession promotions back in 2019. And in a way it is canon? The most admirable thing for me here is how you use what you are given as a fan and develop it further in your own craft. Pity we don’t have a proper x-exo version of D.O. but hey at least we have Monster D.O. back in 2016! but wow that was a long time ago… and oh myyy taking about photoshoots and concept pictures… the x-exo posters were definitely intriguing, and it helps us visualise the description of X-KAI and Monster D.O.

How did your creative energy come about to conjure up this AU? 

My creative energy when coming up with such AUs mostly comes from my need to read the premise. Like, I really wanted to see a fic that holds this X-EXO clones smut with humans Kaisoo and I have searched a few, I can’t remember if I ever found one but I decided to write one instead, because I wanted a specific scene/outcome from that AU. 

And what were those specific scenes?

Guilty pleasure / forbidden lust towards another version of their partner. 

“I bet Jongin was gentle with you, huh? Never felt such roughness like this.” 

“You’re begging? That’s a first.” 

“My mate never begs first. I always have to make him beg.” 

You decided to write forbidden lust towards another version of their partner because you wanted to see a specific scene/outcome from this clones AU. That is quite motivational. How you saw a gap in the kaisoo literature and you took that opportunity to write what you wanted to see. And it’s been received very well by readers!

I’m curious as to what about this fic stands out to you?

Personally, speaking as a smut writer, it’s the sex part of course. So I was mainly motivated to write how X-EXO Kai would talk to human Kyungsoo in comparison to how human Jongin would. 

X-EXO Kai is quite rough with human Kyungsoo. And for those who enjoy reading mild BDSM would enjoy this and others fics of yours for example No Reason or Leash even. 

Readers who have read both ‘noise’ and ‘swap’ will find that you, haqiyin, really have a knack for fresh perspectives. Just by looking at the premise, it is definitely very eye catching because we get to explore kaisoo through a different lens. With ‘noise’ we have fem!kaisoo, so kaisoo as females. And then we have ‘swap’, where we explore kaisoo with their clones. 

We have reached the end of our very first segment for this very long episode. 

Getting to know Haqiyin 

The second segment we have today is getting to know the author of the day. 

Now, haqiyin, I’ve always been so curious about this: on twitter, we all know you as a writer. But what do you tell the people who know you in real life? Do you tell them that you are a writer? How supportive are they and do you ever feel like you have to hide or be sneaky about it, especially if you are already in the zone of writing? 

Oh I don’t tell anyone anything in my personal life. They do know I draw and sketch as a side hobby/income and work as a designer at a company, they know I am very fluent in English because I read novels and books (Harry Potter, Vampire books) and they are very well aware that I am good with writing (thesis, reports, documentations) but they don’t know that I write fanfictions. 

I don’t want them to know actually because I’m very private, I don’t talk about my skills to them, I show them. Those with sharp eyes may connect the dots and see how I can be a fanfic writer but so far no one has said anything to me. I like to have my writing and fandom community to be separate from my real life/community, because I want to have options that I can escape to.

That is a very modest and admirable way of doing things. You don’t talk about your skills, you show them. 

So a designer at a company, I see. So you’re more on the visual arts scene then? 

My background is very artsy. I draw, sketch, paint, write, and design. I am very much a creative person in real life. 

How young were you when you realised you liked to surround yourself with visual creativity? 

Very young! Since I was in kindergarten I suppose. I would always doodle whenever I could and I remember bringing pencils and papers everywhere with me. My parents told me it’s a family trait, because I have two aunts and uncles on each side of the family that are known to draw and paint. Even my oldest brother is good at drawing, but he didn’t have passion for it so he didn’t pursue it. 

Aw, i can imagine a small little haqiyin bringing around here pencils and papers around to functions and finding a small little corner to do her drawings. So cute!

I note that at a young age is when everyone starts, but it is just a matter of if that hobby sticks with you long enough, and if you dive deep into it to hone your craft in the way where you carefully develop it over a long period of time.

How does engaging in drawing and writing complement each other? 

It goes hand in hand to me, I have liked drawing since I was a child and reading fantasy Vampire novels certainly helped my desire to write. I’ve always been good at drawing in real life and people know that of me, but I wanted to show my writing skills as well. But I can’t show my fanfic writings to people that know me, I’ll die hahaha, so I turn to the KPOP community to gain support and show my skills in writing. 

Haha, of course, I understand. It’s like a dirty little secret. Your writings and some of your drawings are not meant for everyone. Those who engage in fanfiction in any way, be it reading or writing or beta-ing or even for me, podcasting, from the nature of it, not everyone should know about it. 

The thing is that it is a very niche community. Not everyone can resonate with the KPOP sentiment. And even more so the EXO-L fanbase, there is EXO-L vs other group fanbases and EXO-L vs EXO-L. So that by itself is very polarising. And to go even further, as we all here for, ladies and gays, is the shipping. Some people push for it, some people are really adverse to it. And even with shipping there are different relationships people like to play with.  So with each element of the general entertainment you consume, the community actually gets smaller. 

Are there some other communities that you engage in? You mentioned Hogwarts Legacy Video Game, how is the community there like?

There’s a lot, but I’m only a writer for Kaisoo (EXO), Ontae (SHINee) and Sebinis (Hogwarts Legacy), the rest is either I’m just a casual fanartist or a fanfic reader. Fandoms I’ve been in were Drarry (HP), Evak (SKAM), Reddie (IT), HaoGu (MOCD) Taiwanese BL, Wilmon (Young Royals) and DeanPharm (UWMA) Thai BL. I’ve drawn quite a lot on my instagram @ taeeeman, you can check all the pairings I’ve drawn there.

Hogwarts Legacy Video Game was a fixation that completely blew me away because I didn’t expect to love the game so much and even the characters, and the community there is hella talented, so many great fanartists, god-like even, pasta-sensei i love you. Anyways, the community is warm and I enjoy the fandom and the game with my IRL friends. I’m inactive now over there and even have a fic of Sebinis that I didn’t finish, but I’m sure I’ll get back into them once Avalanche makes the exclusive horror quest available on all devices. 

Aww, so sweet that you are able to enjoy something different, and with your real life friends as well! 

But maybe let me rephrase my previous question a bit? I’m trying to see how drawing and writing work together. For instance you spend more of your work life being visually creative, how does that help or guide your writing in any way? Or how does writing help you to be visually creative? How does that relationship work?

In terms of looking for ideas, I’d say it works for both. When I see something I like online and read a little about it, I would either find a way to draw it or write about it. It entirely depends on the content and what it is for me to feel strongly to write it or draw it. Both have a hand in helping me in some ways but I’d say I’m more to visualising something in my head before going forth with creating anything. But it is intertwined in some ways, I can’t explain it perfectly haha.

But okay, let’s go back to the questions! We were talking about how haqiyin shows her skills, how she finds drawing and writing complementing each other. 

My next question is: How long have you been writing? Have you always been writing and how did you come out of the hiccups along the way?

Actually I’ve been writing since I was senior in high school, so like 2016? I wrote for a SHINee pairing, Onew and Taemin. At the time I was very much into JongKey and OnTae, so I tried writing about OnTae. I posted on AsianFanFiction, and it didn’t go well. I then created a new identity (@taeeeman) on that site, and started posting regularly starting 2019 I think. I had a good following and readers from SHINee and OnTae fans, they were super supportive. I made so many memories at the time interacting with them. 

When the pandemic hit, I went into a depressive state, I said my goodbyes and deleted my fics on AFF. I wasn’t really thinking back then, it was the pandemic. Unfortunately I didn’t save my fics and it is all gone now, I tried looking for it in my files and stuff but I really deleted all of it.

At the end of 2021 I wanted to bounce back as a writer, but I felt guilty for abandoning OnTae ship. So I turned to EXO, which is another group beside SHINee that I loved since school days. Kaisoo had always been a thing since I read OnTae, JongKeys and ChanBaek fics, so I decided to give their fics a go. I binged and read their fics on AO3 and was hooked from then on. 

Oh myyy, and we mourn for the loss of taeeeman’s fics. The pandemic was really a bad time for everyone huh… but WOW, writing since high school, 2016… 8 years of writing… and writing during your adolescence… writing must have been very cathartic for you. Seeing how you engaged in it from your teens to your early/mid 20s. 

As someone who has written for ontae, do you see any similarities in them with kaisoo in terms of your own plot and style?

I’ve written for Ontae similarly in the beginning like my earlier Kaisoo fics. ‘Our Dandelion’ is my first ever Kaisoo fic that I’ve written and I can say the style and pacing is similar to what I’ve written for Ontae before. 

I’ve written a lot for Ontae previously and honestly, most of them are smut. Just like Kaisoo, but I can say for sure that the style is different because I’ve changed the way I write after certain changes and maturity (going from diploma to degree) and even the topics or plot are different. For example, I didn’t write much of a dramatic plot or gut-wrenching scenes for Kaisoo but I’ve written those for Ontae. 

Of course, with your years of experience, you are bound to always be improving. 

How much have you grown since writing on AFF to ao3?

I would say there’s a difference to my writing style in AFF to AO3, mainly because of the audience and how receptive the readers are on each platform. In AFF I’d say that I write because I love the reader’s reaction and are more catered to their requests, etc. But on AO3, I mostly write on stuff that I like and want to read. I am more structured and organised when I’m on AO3, because it’s easy with the taggings and such. I entertain requests and prompts on a few occasions and most of them are written for a fic fest or oneshot compilation. I’m more mature in terms of plot-writing on AO3 too, I join writing fest and challenges, engage with the community. I can’t say the same when I was on AFF. 

With all those years, how do you balance between having a social life, a busy work schedule and still being able to make time to research and write captivating stories? Still able to make time to sketch and draw beautiful compositions of kaisoo. What keeps you going as a writer and an artist? I mean everyone is given 24 hours a day, so how do you delegate time for research and writing and drawing amidst everything else?

It’s a bit different then and now. I was a full-time student from 2017 until 2022, so I had ample time to write and explore ideas with writings and engage within the fandom. I read and enjoyed Kaisoo contents more leisurely when I was a student. My schedule would be very flexible and I’ll write and post whenever I feel like it and when the passion for writing comes. 

In 2023 I started my internship and then developed into a full-time employee, so I had less time than usual to write and engage with fandoms. I continue to write even with my limited time as a working adult because I simply liked writing it. 

How I divide my time now is; I’d find inspiration/au from observing social media (tiktok/twitter/ig) during the day, writing it on my notes app and at night when I usually write. On weekdays, I’ll write before 12-1am. On weekends, I’ll write until I finish. 

As for drawing, I don’t take much time doing it so I’ll usually draw whenever I have the time and post it immediately afterwards.

That’s very diligent of you, identifying what you want to see in your work, then taking notes, then parking it. Then when you have the time you use that time to write and draw. Like you have a whole catalogue of ideas. You must really like what you do, because that whole process really shows that you take pride and ownership of your work. I’d imagine in doing all these, it boosts your self confidence because you are able to explore a lot of things and refine your skills at both writing and drawing. 

We have come to the end of ‘getting to know’ haqiyin a bit more. We see that haqiyin is a private person, who has been writing and drawing for a very long time and happily finds that drawing and writing comes hand in hand, complementing each other. Haqiyin diligently takes notes before writing or drawing out her ideas.

So this is the end of the first of two part episode. Second part will be uploaded on the 14th! 

[sweetenedbystevengrant]

about me

said i don't know what i'd do without you in my life

it'd be so sour 🍋

hello my name is mimi and welcome to @sweetenedbystevengrant!

i'm 22 years old, use she/her/hers pronouns, and based in the united states. i adore cats, poetry, the color pink, and daydreaming. i am an aspiring author who loves to read and write romantic comedy!

i'm a fan of star wars and marvel-related media, especially the disney plus shows, moon knight and the mandalorian! i also love the talents and careers of oscar isaac, pedro pascal, ariana grande, and zendaya!

if you're interested in 'x reader' fanfic, posts about healing and hope, and gushing about our fave celebrities and characters, you're welcome to stick around here!

if you want to chat or become mutuals, my messages and asks are open!

requests for fanfic one-shots, drabbles, and ships are currently CLOSED.

click 'read more' to find my masterlist/link navigation, a bit on the origins of this blog, and some important guidelines for interacting with me!

I'm hoping that everybody can experience

what we have in ours 🍦

navigation

moon knight masterlist | the complete spider-man masterlist | marvel masterlist* | star wars masterlist* | spotify

*not all characters from the universe are listed, but they can be requested if requests are open (ex. steve rogers, matt murdock, cassian andor, luke skywalker, etc.)

about this blog

i've recently recieved my bachelor's degree in english with an emphasis in creative writing. as i job hunt and write original content, i wanted to explore a creative and fun outlet for me to hone my writing skills, which is why i decided to start up this fanfic blog!

i love to write warm, fluffy, and comfort romances. for this blog, i plan to write 'x reader' fics starring you and our favorite characters from marvel and star wars! due to personal reasons, i will NOT write real-person fics. thank you for understanding.

with that said, i DO NOT condone anyone reposting, copy/pasting, selling, or claiming my work as their own. i, along with other fanfic creators, work hard to create free and original content for the public to enjoy. do not ruin that for anyone.

i also denounce the following on my blog: discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community; racist and sexist sentiments against people of color (POC) and women of color (WOC); the use of slurs against minorities; TERFs (DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG WHATSOEVER); unconsented/gratuitous sexual/flirtatious advances directed to me or to other users; and hate speech/bullying/abuse directed to me or to other users.

this blog is a safe space for everyone. i see you; i hear you; i love you.

[melmedardasworld]

A TVD what if I would like to write a fanfic about: the Bonnie/The Bennett edition after rewatching the show, starting from S3.

- Abby's reason for leaving has to do with her daughter/family not Elena/ Gilberts. Everything Abby did was for/because of Bonnie/her mother/husband. I might keep the complexity of Abby not wanting the responsibility of being a witch cause I can understand her POV, but she would've been a better mom and taking her responsibility that she has a child, cause why could she do it with Jamie (he does not exist in my fic and Wilson is an alias while she was on the run/in hiding) and not Bonnie? I think it is possible to separate being a witch and a mom.

Speaking of being a witch, I'd even say Abby had to sacrifice her magic to desiccate Mikael then after 14 years it would return as a sign that Mikael was freed by his compelled (vampire) minions, which makes it so Abby returns to MF to protect her family once more. She finds out her mother isn't alive and get a scene with her visiting the Bennett family graveyard with Bonnie.

-Abby and Bonnie's relationship while strained would've been mended as time went on. They would definitely agree/disagree on how to protect MF and put a halt to Bonnie's borderline selfless that gets herself killed. Abby would put her daughter first like how Elena is put first by the others, especially by Damon and Stefan. In that regard Abby would be more self preserving which would cause friction with the others, but would give Bonnie more agency.

- Abby and Rudy would actually interact as estranged husband and wife (cause the show acted like Rudy didn't exist until S4). Rudy would cope with Abby's return by being a workaholic. Abby would give space until he was ready to talk.

- Lucy would definitely return in my fic, cause she said she'd see her again and the show did her dirty.

That's all I have for now that part.

I do have some other ideas based on the first 'Bennett' witch who arrived to the New World with the Mikaelsons family through Ayana. I'd even introduce her child(ren). After the creation of the Original vampires Ayana and her famjly were force to flee, because a witch created the vampires. They werent safe, Esther got killed by her own child, and the villagers/villages around them would probably have an aversion to witches.

Ayana and her kids could either stay in the New World there or go back to North Africa (excuse the lack of specific country) since historically there was some Viking influence there through raids and plundering. It is the only explanation that makes sense to me as to why she was with the Mikaelson, a Viking family, in Europe in the first place. To briefly touch a bit on Africa in the medieval times : there was (slave) trade between West and North Africa. But that is to flesh it out and have it make sense given the lack of depth the writers gave us in the show.

Don't introduce a character if you can't even make the effort to expand on Bonnie's ancestry other than being a token/relevant for the plot and then retcon or never mention it again in your continued lore (cough, cough Esther in the Originals and the total lack or mention of Ayana). Cause people in fandom are acting dense on purpose when it comes to Ayana and the Bennett influence in TVD and the Supernatural world. But again, if the writers can't show the decency then fandom is gonna follow them.

I would possibly even sprinkle some romance here and there (cause yes, I love my "crack" ships and romantic touches in a story in general c). But my main focus would be the Bennett line and fleshing out their history cause we could've gotten soooo much more and it was such a missed opportunity.

Inspired by the many rants I read in fandom about Bonnie/the Bennets, the fans and a few pro Bonnie/Bennet blogs I started to followed such as @cancerian-woman whose insights I read on repeat together with some other talented writers on here