#So i shall post to both until i know which is most... Reliable??? This one is a sideblog i could control from my old and new one
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satansknitwear · 2 years ago
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I dont even know which blog to post to anymore ✨
✨Treat me✨
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ladylynse · 3 years ago
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So I just finished marathoning BBC Merlin recently and I'm craaaving a DP crossover. I think I saw you mention you had the idea for one before? Maybe??? Or maybe it was a 3 sentence prompt? Either way, if you had an idea for one I'd love to hear you talk more about it? If not, I'd love to hear a musing :D You have the best ideas. Thanks in advance, have a nice day/night!
You're thinking of this post. *grins* I try to collect that kind of thing on this post, but sometimes I forget to link it, so even if you vaguely remember seeing something, there's no guarantee it's on there when it should be. I haven't done a three sentence fic with that crossover, so feel free to drop me a prompt or two if you want one.
There are fic possibilities beyond what I talked about in the first post, of course, even without setting it in the present where Merlin hears what's going on in North America, specifically Amity Park, so here's another one. (I'm coming up with it on the fly, so apologies if there's more inconsistencies than usual.)
Given the time period, a fic could be set at a time when Dora and Aragon are alive. And cursed. Dealing with that whole backstory. If I were bringing more DP characters into the story like that, I'd be tempted to set the story after the Merlin series ended, when Merlin can be off avoiding thinking about what happened and run right into trouble that a dragonlord is uniquely suited to deal with.
Failing that, I'd set it in my comfy S4-S5 spot, where they're out following up on rumours of Morgana and magical activity (Arthur would believe they were linked even if they weren't) that Arthur shouldn't be tracking for safety reasons but he is because he's Arthur, and Merlin isn't as keen to laugh off the stories Gwaine brings back from the local pub about sorcery that can transform people into dragons. Transformation magic is hard, and something that skitters along the lines of the ancient magic of dragons is nearly impossible to mimic. The fact that something is out there that can supposedly do that is worrisome, and he needs to find a way to break off from the group and check it out.
You could technically do that story without any time travel whatsoever, but I like time travel, so chances are good I'd include it and therefore include Danny.
As such, that could work with the Ghost King AU, too, with Danny getting some *ahem* unconventional training off the books that he in absolutely no way signed up for. (I mean, hey, if it were a Ghost King AU, why not go all the way and throw Pariah Dark in there, too? Danny's back here for a history lesson. (Please let this be a normal history lesson. With Clockwork? No way!) History and politicking. And just being on his toes, more so than he already is. He is not as careful in Amity Park as he should be, getting lax about his secret because the general populace seems so oblivious.)
And if Danny were thrown into the past with next to no context? With how careless he is? Even when he's being careful, chances are good someone would catch him at something and he'd be called out for having magic. There's not much people hunting down sorcerers can do when it comes to capturing and keeping him, not without some magic of their own, but Danny would not be able to blend in well even when trying to do so (he'd make little social mistakes even if he pretending to be a beggar simply because he doesn't know the unspoken societal rules), and you cannot throw him into the wild and expect him to survive. (Well. Not happily. You could certainly stretch it, say he doesn't need to eat or drink as much--or anything--if he stays in ghost mode, but you cannot tell me that child paid enough attention to actually learn which berries/mushrooms/etc were poisonous and which weren't, especially when most of what he would be able to reliably recognize might not grow in, oh, we'll go with Wales, shall we? Different environments, different species. Some overlap. Likely not enough overlap.) He's much more likely to resort to stealing food if he can't get any by asking for it, even if he doesn't like the idea, They'd be able to track his movements and hunt him down.
It would be a little like being hunted by Skulker, except it would take longer and involve markedly fewer missiles. (Arrows might not be missiles, but hey, he's not going to discriminate too much between projectiles flying at him that he can't afford to let hit him.) And these people would be better at it. Outside of Camelot, if someone like King Sarrum decided they wanted him? If they went after him, regardless of the cost? Possibly employing the use of sorcerers to track him down? Danny would be screwed.
Until he stumbles into someone who can help him, anyway.
Which would be about ten seconds after he stumbles into someone he knows but doesn't recognize him, as Princess Dorathea is very much alive at this point in time, and Merlin is rattling off an apology for the both of them because he can feel something about Danny that tells him the boy isn't as ordinary as he appears, and not listening to his gut has come back to bite Merlin in the past.
(see more musings)
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theshedding · 4 years ago
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Lil Nas X: Country Music, Christianity & Reclaiming HELL
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I don’t typically bother myself to follow what Lil Nas X is doing from day to day, or even month to month but I do know that his “Old Town Road” hit became one of the biggest selling/streamed records in Country Music Business history (by a Black Country & Queer artist). “Black” is key because for 75+ years Country music has unsuspiciously evolved into a solidly White-identified genre (despite mixed and Indian & Black roots). Regrettably, Country music is also widely known for anti-black, misogynoir, reliably homophobic (Trans isn’t really a conversation yet), Christian and Hard Right sentiments on the political spectrum. Some other day I will venture into more; there is a whole analysis dying to be done on this exclusive practice in the music industry with its implications on ‘access’ to equity and opportunity for both Black/POC’s and Whites artists/songwriters alike. More commentary on this rigid homogeneous field is needed and how it prohibits certain talent(s) for the sake of perpetuating homogeneity (e.g. “social determinants” of diversity & viable artistic careers). I’ll refrain from discussing that fully here, though suffice it to say that for those reasons X’s “Old Town Road” was monumental and vindicating. 
As for Lil Nas X, I’m not particularly a big fan of his music; but I see him, what he’s doing, his impact on music + culture and I celebrate him using these moments to affirm his Black, Queer self, and lifting up others. Believe it or not, even in the 2020′s, being “out” in the music business is still a costly choice. As an artist it remains much easier to just “play straight”. And despite appearances, the business (particularly Country) has been dragged kicking and screaming into developing, promoting and advancing openly-affirming LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 artists in the board room or on-stage. Though things are ‘better’ we have not yet arrived at a place of equity or opportunity for queer artists; for the road of music biz history is littered with stunted careers, bodies and limitations on artists who had no option but to follow conventional ways, fail or never be heard of in the first place. With few exceptions, record labels, radio and press/media have successfully used fear, intimidation, innuendo and coercion to dilute, downplay or erase any hint of queer identity from its performers. This was true even for obvious talents like Little Richard.
(Note: I’m particularly speaking of artists in this regard, not so much the hairstylists, make-up artists, PA’s, etc.)
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Which is why...in regard to Lil Nas X, whether you like, hate or love his music, the young brother is a trailblazer. His very existence protests (at least) decades of inequity, oppression and erasure. X aptly critiques a Neo-Christian Fascist Heteropatriarchy; not just in American society but throughout the Music Business and with Black people. That is no small deal. His unapologetic outness holds a mirror up to Christianity at-large, as an institution, theology and practice. The problem is they just don’t like what they see in that mirror.
In actuality, “Call Me By Your Name”, Lil Nas X’s new video, is a twist on classic mythology and religious memes that are less reprehensible or vulgar than the Biblical narratives most of us grew up on vís-a-vís indoctrinating smiles of Sunday school teachers and family prior to the “age of reason”. Think about the narratives blithely describing Satan’s friendly wager with God regarding Job (42:1-6); the horrific “prophecies” in St. John’s Book of Revelation (i.e. skies will rain fire, angels will spit swords, mankind will be forced to retreat into caves for shelter, and we will be harassed by at least three terrifying dragons and beasts. Angels will sound seven trumpets of warning, and later on, seven plagues will be dumped on the world), or Jesus’s own clarifying words of violent intent in Matthew (re: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” 10:34). Whether literal or metaphor, these age old stories pale in comparison to a three minute allegorical rap video. Conservatives: say what you will, I’m pretty confident X doesn’t take himself as seriously as “The true and living God” from the book of Job.
A little known fact as it is, people have debunked the story and evolution of Satan and already offered compelling research showing [he] is more of a literary device than an actual entity or “spirit” (Spoiler: In the Bible, Satan does not take shape as an actual “bad” person until the New Testament). In fact, modern Christianity’s impression of the “Devil” is shaped by conflating Hellenized mythology with a literary tradition rooted in Dante’s Inferno and accompanying spooks and superstitions going back thousands of years. Whether Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Scientologist, Atheist or Agnostic, we’ve spent a lifetime with these predominant icons and clichés. (Resource: Prof. Bart D. Erhman, “Heaven & Hell”).
So Here’s THE PROBLEM: The current level of fear and outrage is: 
(1) Unjust, imposing and irrational. 
(2) Disproportionate when taken into account a lifetime of harmful Christian propaganda, anti-gay preaching and political advocacy.
(3) Historically inaccurate concerning the existence of “Hell” and who should be scared of going there. 
Think I’m overreacting? 
Examples: 
Institutionalized Homophobia (rhetoric + policy)
Anti-Gay Ministers In Life And Death: Bishop Eddie Long And Rev. Bernice King
Black, gay and Christian, Marylanders struggle with Conflicts
Harlem pastor: 'Obama has released the homo demons on the black man'
Joel Olsteen: Homosexuality is “Not God’s Best”
Bishop Brandon Porter: Gays “Perverted & Lost...The Church of God in Christ Convocation appears like a ‘coming out party’ for members of the gay community.”
Kim Burrell: “That perverted homosexual spirit is a spirit of delusion & confusion and has deceived many men & women, and it has caused a strain on the body of Christ”
Falwell Suggests Gays to Blame for 9-11 Attacks
Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church
Pope Francis: Gay People Not Welcome in Clergy
Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church
The Pope and Gay People: Nothing’s Changed
The Catholic church silently lobbied against a suicide prevention hotline in the US because it included LGBT resources
Mormon church prohibits Children of LGBT parents to be baptized
Catholic Charity Ends Adoptions Rather Than Place Kid With Same-Sex Couple
I Was a Religious Zealot That Hurt People-Coming Out as Gay: A Former Conversion Therapy Leader Is Apologizing to the LGBTQ Community
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The above short list chronicles a consistent, literal, demonization of LGBTQ people, contempt for their gender presentation, objectification of their bodies/sexuality and a coordinated pollution of media and culture over the last 50+ years by clergy since integration and Civil Rights legislation. Basically terrorism. Popes, Bishops, Pastors, Evangelists, Politicians, Television hosts, US Presidents, Camp Leaders, Teachers, Singers & Entertainers, Coaches, Athletes and Christians of all types all around the world have confused and confounded these issues, suppressed dissent, and confidently lied about LGBT people-including fellow Queer Christians with impunity for generations (i.e. “thou shall not bear false witness against they neighbor” Ex. 23:1-3). Christian majority viewpoints about “laws” and “nature” have run the table in discussions about LGBTQ people in society-so much that we collectively must first consider their religious views in all discussions and the specter of Christian approval -at best or Christian condescension -at worst. That is Christian (and straight) privilege. People are tired of this undue deference to religious opinions. 
That is what is so deliciously bothersome about Lil Nas X being loud, proud and “in your face” about his sexuality. If for just a moment, he not only disrupts the American hetero-patriarchy but specifically the Black hetero-patriarchy, the so-called “Black Church Industrial Complex”, Neo-Christian Fascism and a mostly uneducated (and/or miseducated) public concerning Ancient Near East and European history, superstitions-and (by extension) White Supremacy. To round up: people are losing their minds because the victim decided to speak out against his victimizer. 
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Additionally, on some level I believe people are mad at him being just twenty years old, out and FREE as a self-assured, affirming & affirmed QUEER Black male entertainer with money and fame in the PRIME of his life. We’ve never, or rarely, seen that before in a Black man in the music business and popular culture. But that’s just too bad for them. With my own eyes I’ve watched straight people, friends, Christians, enjoy their sexuality from their elementary youth to adolescence, up and through college and later marriages, often times independently of their spouses (repeatedly). Meanwhile Queer/Gay/SGL/LGBTQ people are expected to put their lives on hold while the ‘blessed’ straight people run around exploring premarital/post-marital/extra-marital sex, love and affection, unbound & un-convicted by their “sin” or God...only to proudly rebrand themselves later in life as a good, moral “wholesome Christian” via the ‘sacred’ institution of marriage with no questions asked. 
Inequality defined.
For Lil Nas X, everything about the society we've created for him in the last 100+ years (re: links above) has explicitly been designed for his life not to be his own. According to these and other Christians (see above), his identity is essentially supposed to be an endless rat fuck of internal confusion, suicide-ideation, depression, long-suffering, faux masculinity, heterosexism, groveling towards heaven, respectability politics, failed prayer and supplication to a heteronormative earthly and celestial hierarchy unbothered in affording LGBT people like him a healthy, sane human development. It’s almost as if the Conservative establishment (Black included) needs Lil Nas X to be like others before him: “private”, mysteriously single, suicidal, suspiciously straight or worse, dead of HIV/AIDS ...anything but driving down the street enjoying his youth as a Black Queer artist and man. So they mad about that?
Well those days are over.  
-Rogiérs is a writer, international recording artist, performer and indie label manager with 25+ years in the music industry. He also directs Black Nonbelievers of DC, a non-profit org affiliated with the AHA supporting Black skeptics, Atheists, Agnostics & Humanists. He holds a B.A. in Music Business & Mgmt and a M.A. in Global Entertainment & Music Business from Berklee College of Music and Berklee Valencia, Spain. www.FibbyMusic.net Twitter/IG: @Rogiers1
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mary-tudor · 4 years ago
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Selected documented sources concerning Henry VII, King of England (1485-1509), part II: the battle of Bosworth(²).
(a) Continuation of the Crowland Chronicle.
“With Henry Tudor and his men advancing towards him, King Richard felt it necessary “to move the army, though its numbers were not yet fully made up, from Nottingham, and to come to Leicester.
Here was found ready to fight for the king a greater number of soldiers than had ever been seen before in England assembled on one side. On the Sunday before the feast of Bartholomew the Apostle, the king proceeded on his way, amid the greatest pomp, and wearing the crown on his head; being attended by John Howard, duke of Norfolk, and Henry Percy, earl of Northumberland, and other mighty lords, knights and esquires, together with a countless multitude of the common people. 
On leaving Leicester, he was informed by scouts where the enemy most probably intended to spend the next night; upon which, he encamped near the abbey of Merevale, at a distance of about eight miles from town.
‘The chief men of the opposing army were: in the first place, Henry, earl of Richmond, whom they called their King Henry VII; John Vere, earl of Oxford; John, Lord Welles, of Welles, uncle to Henry VII; Thomas, Lord Stanley and William his brother; Edward Woodville, brother of Queen Elizabeth, a most valiant knight; John Cheney, John Savage, Robert Willoughby, William Berkeley, James Blount, Thomas Arundel, Richard Edgecombe, Edward Poynings, Richard Guilford, and many others who had been raised to knighthood, both before the present troubles and at the beginning of this campaign. Of churchmen present as counsellors, who likewise had suffered exile, there were the venerable father, Peter, bishop of Exeter, the flower of the knighthood of his country, Master Robert Morton, clerk of the roll of the chancery, Christopher Urswick, and Richard Fox, who were subsequently appointed almoner and secretary, respectively, together with many others.
‘At day-break on Monday morning there were no chaplains on King Richard’s side ready to celebrate mass, nor any breakfast prepared to restore his flagging spirits. For he had seen dreadful visions in the night, in which he was surrounded by a multitude of demons, as he himself testified in the morning. 
He consequently presented a countenance which, always drawn, was on this occasion more livid and ghastly than ususal, and asserted that the issue of this day’s battle, to whichever side the victory was granted, would be the utter destruction of the kingdom of England. 
He declared that it was his intention, if he proved the victor, to crush all the traitors on the opposing side; and at the same time he predicted that his adversary would do the same to the supporters of his party, if victory should fall to him. 
At length with the enemy commander and his soldiers approaching at a fair pace, the king ordered that Lord Strange should be instantly beheaded. The persons to whom this duty was entrusted, however, seeing that the issue was doubtful in the extreme, and that a matter of more weight than the destruction of one man was in hand, deferred performance of the king’s cruel order, left the man to his own disposal and returned to the thickest of the fight.
‘A most fierce battle thus began between the two sides. The earl of Richmond with his men proceeded directly against King Richard. For his part, the earl of Oxford, the next in rank in the army and a most valiant soldier, drew up his forces, consisting of a large body of French and English troops, opposite the wing in which the duke of Norfolk had taken up his position. 
In the place where the earl of Northumberland was posted, with a large company of reasonably good men, no engagement could be discerned, and no battle blows given or received. In the end a glorious victory was given by heaven to the earl of Richmond, now sole king, along with a most precious crown, which King Richard had previously worn on his head. 
For in the thick of the fight, and not in the act of flight, King Richard fell in the field, struck by many mortal wounds, as a bold and most valiant p rince. Then the duke of Norfolk, Sir Richard Radcliffe, Sir Robert Brackenbury, keeper of the Tower of London, John Kendal, secretary, Sir Robert Percy, controller of the king’s household, Walter Devereux, Lord Ferrers, and many others were slain in this fierce battle, and many, especially northerners, in whom the king so greatly trusted, took flight without engaging; and there was left no part of the opposing army of sufficient significance or substance for the glorious victor Henry VII to engage, and so add to his experience in battle.
‘Thus through this battle peace was obtained for the whole of the realm. King Richard’s body was found among the other slain. * * * Many other insults were heaped on it, and not very humanely, a halter was thrown around the neck, and it was carried to Leicester. 
The new king, graced with the crown he won with such distinction, proceeded to the same place. Meanwhile, many nobles and others were taken into captivity, most notably, Henry, earl of Northumberland, and Thomas Howard, earl of Surrey, first-born of the deceased duke of Norfolk. 
There was also taken prisoner William Catesby, who was pre-eminent among all the counsellors of the late king, and whose head was cut off at Leicester, as a last reward for his excellent service. Also, two yeomen from the West Country, named Bracher, who fell into the hands of the victors, were hanged. 
Moreover, there has been no word, nor has it been written or remembered, that any other persons, after the end of the fighting, were dealt with in this fashion, but that, on the contrary, the new prince showed mercy to all. 
He began to receive the praises of all, as if he were an angel sent from heaven, through whom God had deigned to visit His people, and to deliver them from the evils with which it had been previously and immoderately afflicted.
‘And thus concluding this history … (we) have brought the narrative down to this battle, which was fought near Merevale, and which took place on 22 August, 1485″
(b)  A Castilian Report.
“Entering England by way of Wales, and conquering all before him, Henry Tudor ‘crossed as far as a town called Coventry, near which King Richard stood in the field with as many as 70,000 combatants. But … previous to his entry into England, he had the assurance that my Lord “Tamerlant”, one of the principal nobles of England, and sundry other leading men, who had given him their oath and seals, would give him assistance when they came to battle and would fight against King Richard, and so they did. 
Though his people came with faint heart, as not knowing the secret but fully aware of the multitude of King Richard’s army, he greatly heartened them to come to the battlefield.
‘When King Richard was certified of the near approach of Earl Henry in battle array, he ordered his lines and entrusted the van to his grand chamberlain with 7,000 fighting men. My Lord “Tamerlant” with King Richard’s left wing left his position and passed in front of the king’s vanguard with 10,000 men, then, turning his back on Earl Henry, he began to fight fiercely against the king’s van, and so did all the others who had plighted their faith to Earl Henry. 
Now when Salazar, your little vassal, who was there in King Richard’s service, saw the treason of the king’s people, he went up to him and said: “Sire, take steps to put your pers on in safety, without expecting to have the victory in today’s battle, owing to the manifest treason in your following”. 
But the king replied: “Salazar, God forbid I yield one step. This day I will die as king or win”. Then he placed over his head-armour the crown royal, which they declare be worth 120,000 crowns, and having donned his coat-of-arms began to fight with much vigour, putting heart into those that remained loyal, so that by his sole effort he upheld the battle for a long time. 
But in the end the king’s army was beaten and he himself was killed, and in this battle above 10,000 are said to have perished, on both sides. Salazar fought bravely, but for all this was able to escape. There died most of those who loyally served the king, and there was lost all the king’s treasure, which he brought with him into the field. 
After winning this victory Earl Henry was at once acclaimed king by all parties. He ordered the dead king to be placed in a little hermitage near the place of battle, and had him covered from the waist downward with a black rag of poor quality, ordering him to be exposed there for three days to the universal gaze.’
(c) Bernard André Court Historian.
“After gaining military assistance from the king of France, Henry Tudor lands in Wales, with the earl of Oxford and Lord Chandée as his commanders. King Richard reacts furiously, ordering his retainers to destroy the rebels with fire and sword. He summons the armed might of the kingdom, but Lord Stanley and his kinsmen go over to the pretender. On the battle itself, André simply notes:
‘I have learned somewhat of this battle from oral sources, but in this matter the eye is a more reliable witness than the ear. Rather than affirm anything rashly, therefore, I pass over the date, place and order of battle, for as I have said I lack the illumination of eye-witnesses. Until I am more fully instructed, for this field of battle, I shall leave blank a space as broad * * * * *’
He then records the celebrations and speech of thanksgiving, noting the presence among the victorious troops of his clerical colleagues the bishop of Winchester, the bishop of St. Asaph and the dean of Windsor, namely Richard Fox, Michael Deacon and Christopher Urswick. More gaps are left for details of the burial of Richard III and the names of the captives. Saturday is given as the day of the battle.”
Link: http://www.r3.org/richard-iii/the-battle-of-bosworth/bosworth-contemporary-tudor-accounts/
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babysizedfics · 4 years ago
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I HC that big Vee still likes to be put to bed. Not like bedtime story etc, but occasionally he will go to one of the CGs (or even Ro sometimes) and be like "im heading to bed" very deliberately, trying to get someone to come with him, or he'll curl up on the couch and start someone off on a long speech about something, just so he can fall asleep and its like he isn't alone, but he doesn't quite realize that being babied to sleep when he's little is the reason till one of the cgs points it out
I have been thinking about this All Day while i packed so i have a lot of things to say abt this - this is a VERY long post so be prepared shhshs
firstly: ADORABLE THANK U
i rlly do think this is in character! because adult virge actually has a lot of trouble with sleep - he has nightmares most nights and we've obviously established that he wets the bed a lot. both of these things tend to wake him up only a few hours into the night and he's not always willing to sleep again afterwards (to avoid nightmares and wet sheets)
on top of that he (used to) struggle with getting himself to bed on time, he would stay up into the early hours indulging in special interests, stimming where he hid it during the day, or being little (when it was still hidden from everyone) and this has all messed up his body clock quite a lot so some nights he just can't get himself to sleep - this is why he's so sleepy during the days
Also i think he just likes being around people, it calms his anxiety because he doesnt worry about whether anyone is hurt or anything because he can see/feel them around him - so im sure after so many nights being babied to sleep by his CGs and getting so used to having someone with him to fall asleep he subconsciously seeks it out when he's big
also while we are on the subject, adult virgil has a very specific bedtime routine! this is me projecting again but he NEEDS to do every part of it otherwise he feels really stressed and upset and gets anxious and that makes it even harder to sleep - his routine is calling roman a nickname until roman calls him one back, saying 'Night L' to which logan has to reply 'Good night, Virgil.' (if logan replies differently virgil keeps subtly trying to postpone bedtime and repeating 'night L' until logan says it exactly right), and having a hug with patton - patton is the most reliable because every time without a doubt he sways them side to side, squeezes virgils shoulders, kisses his head and whispers 'i love you stormcloud' and virgil always replies 'love you dad' while avoiding his eyes. This routine has been in place since before the regression is revealed i think
ugh the fact that virgil finishes everyday by hugging patton is so cute already but also i said that he also starts off everyday by hugging patton too and thats just ADORABLE
now with actually asking for people to put him to bed, it will be different with each person:
with logan, as you suggested, i think he would get logan to talk about something academic that interests him or maybe even - much more rarely - shyly ask logan if he could read the book in his hands out loud. Logan of course understands that virgil does these things when he's getting tired and is happy to do so to help virgil relax before bed. It helps him relax too
with patton virgil is the most obvious - he knows theres no point hiding it from him and he just outright asks if patton can please help him fall asleep. though I think he would actually be most reluctant to seek out patton, ironically, merely because he knows that patton picks up on it and has no qualms with pointing out that virgil clearly loves bedtime and 'of course i can tuck you in kiddo! Do you want me to stroke your hair? Do you want your paci? Shall i sing to you sweetie?'
So virgil mainly kind of avoids getting patton to put him to bed when he's grownup because pattons instinct is to just treat him like a baby - which virgil appreciates of course but some nights he actually wants to stay big and its kind of impossible to do that when patton is humming a lullaby and rocking virgil in his lap
with roman its a very different story - virgil will only ever seek roman out if both CGs are already in bed, which brings me onto a HC that I've been meaning to tell you guys about for WEEKS:
roman and virgil often have 'sleepovers' - theyre really just all-nighters where both of them have trouble sleeping and instead of suffer alone they go into romans room and chill together for the night
they keep this a secret from the CGs mainly because they're sure patton and logan would both have something to say about the fact that at least once a week virgil and roman completey forego sleep and instead eat snacks and watch disney and play video games and shove pillows into their faces to try not to wake the others with their sleep deprived laughter
but also? its just become special to them and they want to keep it as Their Thing
you see virgil isnt the only one who struggles with sleeping - roman tends to stay up very late working on creative projects (even if the CGs put him to bed he will usually get up again because he cant get his brain to switch off) and he won't admit it, at least not for a while, but he actually has a slight fear of sleep
the fact that you are unaware of what goes on around you and are not in control of your body or mind while you are unconscious just doesn't sit right with roman, if he thinks about it too hard he starts freaking out and purposefully avoids sleeping - thought he doesnt tend to think about it too much, he's learned to ignore these thoughts since when he was a teen they led to a pretty bad case of insomnia
so vee and ro tend to be awake late at night and often one will text 'you up?' and within a minute virgil will be sneaking into roman's room to keep each other company
this is where i think most of their adult brotherly bonding happens, its quiet since they dont want to wake up pat or lo and it's a calm atmosphere because of roman's constellation nightlight and the whole vibe of it just makes them a lot more open and soft with each other
they tend to end up talking about Big Life Things on most nights
as they play minecraft one night virgil opens up about his internalised ableism and how no matter how much everyone assures him its okay to need extra help he still feels awful about it and roman doesn't say much, he just listens, but when he notices virgil getting choked up at one point he pauses the game and silently pushes his teddy bear aladdin into virgils hands and pulls him in with one arm to lean against his shoulder
another night they are lying on romans bed, side by side but with some distance between them, and staring up at the projected constellations, talking about how cool it is that logan and patton take care of them and roman blurts out that sometimes he feels a bit scared of logan and thinks he will tell him off for being stupid and force him not to be virgils brother anymore because he cant be trusted.
they dont look at each other, they keep staring at the stars as roman rambles, supplemented by lots of sarcastic comments and jokes and nervous laughter to hide the fact that his voice is shaking. And again, virgil doesnt say much, he doesnt interrupt roman and they both know that they feel comfy opening up to each other on these nights because theres a silent agreement that they dont discuss it, it's just a venting session, no advice or sympathy please.
but virgil does shuffle closer on the bed and presses their shoulders together, and he does take romans hand gently when roman starts picking at his nails
so yeah.. virgil seeks the CGs out when he wants to sleep, but its not so bad when he can't sleep either because he'll aways have roman too
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wild-springflower · 5 years ago
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Old Enough to Know I'll End Up Dying (It's Torture to Love You)
Hoooo boy has it been a while. I actually honestly forgot that I posted this on here... the best place to get reliable for any of my works would be on my AO3, for which I shall provide a link!
But sorry this took so long, here is chapter 3! 
Pt 1
He wanted to be angry, he really really wanted to be angry. But there would be a time and a place for anger, the hospital room with Christopher sat atop his lap and gripping his shirt like a lifeline was neither of them.
It had been almost five days, and Buck had scarcely left the hospital room. The others tried to get him to leave, but aside from watching Christopher, Buck had nothing else to do with his time. And he refused to leave Eddie alone. The others still had their job to do, Buck had no obligations, nowhere to be. Except by the side of a hospital bed.
Occasionally Eddie would show signs of stirring, but so far it had all been false hope, little mumbled words, shifting under the bedsheets. He hadn’t actually opened his eyes. And each time Buck felt his spirits drop a little more, his heart sink a little lower. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to stand it, how many more times he’d be able to reassure Christopher that everything was going to be okay.
Day six they decided it was time for Christopher to go back to school; even if he wouldn’t be able to concentrate, sitting in the hospital or at home all day wasn’t doing him any good and he’d already missed too much. Although the staff was being very understanding. Perhaps more understanding than they had a right to be, seeing as how Buck had implied the injury was sustained while Eddie was on the job.
Day nine Bobby had visited the hospital and practically forced Buck to leave, promising he would stay and call him immediately if anything changed. So he and Christopher spent the day playing with Legos and listening to cartoons on the tv. The story they’d started what felt like years ago sat untouched by Christopher’s bed, neither of them having the heart to continue it. Buck thought Christopher was maybe leaving it until Eddie could come home, until things could go back to normal. Whatever the reasoning was, Buck respected the kid’s decision and didn’t push him on it.
The morning of day ten was when Buck felt the last bits of himself shatter. The two of them had fallen asleep on the couch, it wasn’t always the most comfortable place to sleep but it was easier for the both of them if they were together, and Buck didn’t feel comfortable climbing into Eddie’s bed.
Around 4am Christopher woke up crying, as he had almost every night since the incident.
“Hey, hey buddy, it’s okay.” Buck soothed as he attempted to detangle himself from their mass of blankets.
“Excepts it’s no-not, i-is it?” Christopher hiccupped. “W-we don’t even-even know i-i-if daddy’s gonna wa-wake up. Do we?”
Bucks’ breath escaped in one large rush, and he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the solar plexus. Before he could reign his emotions in there were tears streaking down his cheeks. “Hey no, we can’t think like that.” He whispered wetly, pulling Christopher in for a tight embrace.
“What’s gonna happen if daddy doesn’t wake up?” Christopher asked, his voice a little steadier although Buck could still feel tears soaking into his shirt.
Buck bit his lip, “I don’t know.” He said.
Christopher’s grip tightened on his collar, and he sniffled, breath stuttering. “Will- will th-they take m-me away? I don’t wanna le-lea-ave you.”
“No, no baby no.” Buck pulled back, large hands clasping Christopher’s shoulders tightly. He stared into Christopher’s eyes, waiting until Christopher looked back before he spoke again, maybe the most serious he had ever been in his entire life. “No matter what happens they are not taking you away from me. I will never let anyone take you away from me okay? I promise.”
Christopher nodded, ducking back against his chest and hugging him tightly.
Buck sat for a moment, breathing deeply, almost unable to process the conversation they’d just had. It wasn’t right, it shouldn’t have ever had to happen. And again, Buck felt anger boiling in his stomach. With a deep sigh Buck kissed Christopher’s head and squeezed him just a little tighter in his arms, blinking up at the ceiling to try and stop more tears from breaking past the dam.
Normal visiting hours at the hospital didn’t start until 10, but they’d been given special permission to visit whenever they felt the need to, Buck was pretty sure Bobby had done some sweet talking, and Christopher’s puppy-dog eyes had certainly not hindered the process. Still, he figured a full breakfast before they left was a good idea, seeing as how the food at the hospital was hard to stomach on a good day. Needless to say, Buck hadn’t had a good day in quite a while.
Eggs were the easiest thing to make, and the only thing he’d really learned to perfect before Bobby had gotten too busy to continue their cooking lessons, Buck had always meant to ask when they could start them up again, but something always seemed to get in the way.
The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon when Christopher started pushing his food around on his plate, having only eaten a couple bites.
“Not hungry?” Buck asked.
Christopher just shook his head, staring sadly at the table.
“How about you take a couple more bites and then we’ll head out, sound good?”
Christopher perked up at that, “To the hospital?” He said softly.
“Yeah, but you have to eat a little more food, deal?” Buck felt slightly hypocritical as the last thing he wanted to do was shovel more food into his mouth, but he knew the both of them had to keep their health up for when Eddie was finally better.
“Deal!”
A little over an hour later found the two of them pulling up to the still fairly empty hospital parking lot and given the time of day it wasn’t hard to find a parking spot near the door. Sometimes Buck would grab the handicap pass, but he never liked to leave it in his car. It felt too permanent, less like he was watching Christopher for an extended period of time and more like things were changing. And he was not ready for things to change.
The nurses on their floor were all familiar with them by now, and all adored Christopher, so it was easy to distract him when he saw the doctor standing in Eddie’s room.
“Hey buddy,” Buck whispered, kneeling down so he was closer to the kid’s height. “How about you show Claire your drawings you made real quick.”
Claire gave him a gentle nod before also kneeling by Chris, “I would love to see your drawings buddy!”
Buck stood, mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he jogged over to his friends’ room. “Hey doc, is something wrong?”
Sophia had long brown hair that she always kept pulled back in a bun and smart green eyes that spoke of years of study, she was the best doctor in the hospital for their current predicament, and Buck found he trusted her easily. “No, nothing’s wrong, I was just checking the readouts. You’re here early.”
Buck shrugged sheepishly, “Couldn’t really stay distracted at home.”
“Listen, Buck, I know that this is hard for you. But this isn’t unusual for the type of injury sustained. Right now, just try not to worry. And, if anything changes, you will be the first to know. And we will cross that bridge if we get to it but worrying too much about what-ifs is just going to drive you crazy. Okay?”
Buck nodded, “I’ll try my best.” He smiled weakly.
Sophia gave a sad smile in response, “I’ll see you later.”
Buck watched her leave, his heart filling with warmth as she stopped to say hello to Christopher; he was always amazed with the way that kid could brighten anyone’s day, even when he was living a nightmare.
But his attention quickly turned back to the bed, and all the beeping machines. With his hands in his pockets Buck stepped closer and stared down at the face he was sure he had memorized. “You need to wake up.” He said.
“Hi daddy!” Christopher called from the doorway, announcing himself before he fully made it to the bed. It allowed Buck half a second to wipe away any stray tears and school his features.
“Come here buddy,” Buck hoisted Christopher onto his lap in the chair next to Eddie’s bed, “how about you tell your dad about the pictures you drew?”
Christopher nodded enthusiastically, pulling one drawing out from the small pile he’d brought with. “This one is us, and we’re all playing video games together.” He paused to pull a second picture on top, “And here we’re at the dog park, I know you said we can’t get a dog of our own, so I thought we could go there and just pet some!”
Buck chuckled at that, smiling at the drawing of a little Christopher petting what was potentially a black lab. “That looks really good bud!”
Christopher flashed a grin up at him before moving on to his next drawing. “And this is all of us at the beach. It’s still a little scary to be close to, but I know you like the beach daddy, so I thought I could be brave for you when you wake up and we can all go. As long as Bucky feels safe there too.”
Buck was saved from having to try and force his choked-up throat to function by a knock against the door.
Christopher turned around and smiled broadly, “Carla!” He called happily.
“Hello sweetie, how are you?”
Chris shrugged, “Alright.” He said a little more somberly. The shift made Buck’s heart ache.
“Come here.” Carla leaned down and pulled Chris into a quick hug, before her attention turned to Buck. “And you, how’s my other sweetie?”
Buck shook his head, but the affection made him smile, “I’m okay. Hey buddy, Carla’s gonna take you out for a bit today.” He leaned in closer with a smirk and a wink in the caretaker’s direction, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure you can convince her to buy you ice cream if you ask really nicely.”
The thought at least made Christopher smile a little wider, and he nodded his head before wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck. “We can come back later?” He whispered in Buck’s ear.
“Yeah of course buddy, I’ll be here.” Buck promised, squeezing his arms around the small frame. “Say bye to your dad okay?”
“Can I hug him?”
“Course.” Buck stood and helped Christopher maneuver over to the bed.
It was a little clumsy, but Chris was able to put his arms over Eddie’s chest without touching any of the wires, “I love you daddy.” He said, before allowing Buck to set him on his feet.
It took less than three seconds after he was left alone in the room for Buck to break, broken sobs pulled from his lungs as his cheeks streaked with tears. “God, Eddie I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
Buck sniffed, covering his eyes with his hands and trying to get his emotions under control. He was just glad he was alone in the room. “Shit.” He cursed with an exhausted sigh. He once again looked at Eddie’s slack face, and barely resisted the urge to brush his fingers along the bruised cheek. “I need you to be okay.” He said, because Buck knew one thing for certain; if Eddie wasn’t okay, he didn’t know if he could ever get over it.
The minutes ticked by one at a time the same way they always did, each one feeling longer than the last. Eventually Buck gave into temptation and laid his head against the slightly scratchy bed sheets he’d grown all too accustomed to during his own extended stays in the hospital. His eyes slipped closed and he was asleep not long after.
He awoke an undetermined amount of time later to a foreign yet strangely familiar sound.
Buck sighed tiredly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and sitting up to glance around the room in search of the source of the noise that had awoken him from his impromptu nap. His heart stuttered to a screeching halt, and all thoughts of sleep vanished immediately as he saw Eddie shifting on the bed.
Buck waited with bated breath for any sign that he wasn’t going crazy, and sure enough a couple seconds later Eddie’s face scrunched up and he groaned. Or maybe it was closer to a grunt. Whatever it was, it was new.
“Eddie?” Buck called, his voice fluttering with nervous excitement.
Eddie’s head shifted towards his voice and Buck felt his hands start to shake, he was getting a little lightheaded.
“Eddie, come on buddy, open your eyes for me.” He licked his lips, praying, “Please.”
The seconds once again felt like they were taking hours to slip by, but in actuality it didn’t take all that long for Buck’s pleas to be heard, and subsequently answered as Eddie forced his heavy eyelids open.
Concern seemed to flash briefly through those eyes as they looked at where Buck was standing over him, but any other emotions were quickly clouded by confusion. “Wha-?”
Buck felt himself sag in relief, a breathless laugh that probably bordered on manic escaping past his lips. “Oh, holy shit, Eddie. Oh my god it is good to hear your voice man.” He sighed.
“What’s happening?”
Eddie’s voice made Buck wince in sympathy, certain it hurt worse to talk than it did for him to hear it. “We can talk about it later okay? I’m gonna go get your doctor.”
And with one last glance and barely contained smile Buck turned and left the room, for the first time feeling a slight lift in his step and the budding hope that maybe, just maybe, things were finally going to be able to settle down for a while.  
If only he knew how wrong he was.
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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 5 years ago
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The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 5: The Return of Mysterio
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We finish off our coverage of Mysterio’s history by bringing us up to date. We will also be covering more MJ centric events as we set up for AMJ #1.
Welcome to the 2010s!
Beck’s Back Baby!
Marvel truly brought the original Mysterio back in early 2010 as part of the overarching ‘Gauntlet’ event running through Brand New Day. However, later retcons from the ‘Spider-Men’ mini-series revealed he’d actually been back even earlier than that. He simply opted to concentrate his efforts on Earth 1610/the Ultimate Universe.
Because I do not want to go through the agony of refreshing my memory of BND or Slott’s run I shall instead simply take note of one significant event Mysterio participated in during the latter.
In the ‘Ends of the Earth’ arc (ASM #682-687) Mysterio was knowingly complicit in Doc Ock’s scheme to seemingly fix global warming. In reality it was the dying doctor’s goal to mass murder half the planet so that he’d be immortalized in the minds of the survivors as worse than Hitler.
Long story short, Otto planned to use space tech to manipulate the sun’s rays and direct them at whatever areas of the Earth he chose. In effect he could heat up or cool down whatever areas of the planet he wished.
It all kicked off in ASM #682 when Otto used his weapon to target half the world and heat it up. Known areas affected included New York City, Illinois, Rio De Janeiro and Ontario. The art depicts animals suffering or dying along with masses of people enduring severe pain and with some passing out; presumably from serious heat stroke.
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Ock claimed this was merely a demonstration of what the real life effects of global warming would be. His intent was merely to shock people into accepting his solution of using this same technology to resolve the climate crisis. However, even if he were sincere (which he absolutely wasn’t) he still would’ve caused a lot of unnecessary harm to up to 3.5 billion people and many more animals and wildlife.
Sure, this is all Ock’s scheme and none of the Sinister Six seemed to know his true intent. But his initial demonstration was still sadistic and harmful even if no one died (which is frankly contrived and ridiculous). Mysterio still went along with it, and as ASM #684-685 proved it was for purely selfish reasons. As payment for ending global warming Otto wanted to have the Sinister Six’s criminal records expunged and $2 billion paid to each of them.
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Granted later (for equally selfish reasons) Beck switched sides. But that still demonstrates what a bad person he ultimately was.
The thing to bear in mind is that this was all highly public. EVERYONE on Earth knew about this and MJ was depicted on panel as a witness among the billions of onlookers. So she knows Mysterio only helped save the world out of selfishness and was willing to harm billions of people out of similar selfishness.
Invasion>Attention>Reconciliation?
One last time skip brings us to the home stretch; Nick Spencer’s run on ASM.
In the first issue of Spencer’s run we learn that Mysterio has fabricated a highly believable alien invasion (chiefly utilizing practical effects) at the heart of town.
Daredevil, the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy are among the heroes who’ve assembled to deal with the crisis. Beck’s effects are so convincing that he has all of them fooled and thus unable to resolve the situation. That’s pretty impressive when you consider that between them they’ve got immense intelligence, scanning technology and hyper senses.
This is yet further proof of just how skilful a trickster Mysterio is.
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Peter defeats Beck but almost dies in the attempt.
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Prompted by his experiences that night and by Mysterio’s own words, Peter sought out MJ.
Upon finding her he relayed (without specifying details) how he almost died earlier and how this put things into perspective for him. The end result of their talk is that he and MJ finally reconcile.
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In the last instalment I spoke about how Peter clearly keeps MJ abreast of most of his super heroics; or at least did when they were married.
Let’s bear that in mind as we consider this specific situation
After years of separation and false starts at reconciliation, the magic has finally been rekindled between them.
It happened the very same night as, and in direct response to, an event involving Mysterio.
An event we already know Peter mentioned to MJ without specifying details.
An event that involved a deliberately public staging of an alien invasion at the heart of Manhattan! An invasion that involved the Avengers no less! And one of whom (Iron Man) MJ worked for until very recently.
Whether that night or soon thereafter it is extremely likely Mary Jane would’ve learned that Mysterio was behind the event in question.
Peter would’ve told her. It beguiles beliefs that he would’ve done otherwise. In the seminal ‘Kraven’s Last Hunt’ storyline Peter was completely missing for two weeks, buried alive by Kraven the Hunter. Within hours of crawling out of the ground Peter reunited with Mary Jane and the dialogue clearly conveys that he informed her what happened off-panel.
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Furthermore, in the one shot ‘Soul of the Hunter’ Peter deals with some of the aftermath from ‘Kraven’s Last Hunt’. Specifically he believes he has seen Kraven the Hunter’s ghost. After this encounter Peter’s told MJ what happened, further proving my point. However, his dialogue also implies he regularly confides in her or feels obliged to be honest with her.
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Additionally, as discussed last time, off-panel he obviously must’ve told MJ that he confirmed Mysterio’s death.
For the sake of argument though let’s say Peter didn’t elaborate. That being the case, then Mary Jane would’ve likely asked for a little more information.
Peter’s nearly died countless times before and during their separation. But on this specific occasion he was prompted to seek her out. Why? What was so special about this time?
Let’s remember MJ has studied psychology and worked as an actress, both of which entail a healthy dose of inquisitiveness.*
She also has a knack for getting in Peter’s head. This fact was stated and demonstrated as far back as Spec #85 (if not earlier).
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Another example of this skill can be found in the ‘Soul of the Hunter’ one shot. In this story MJ recognizes Peter’s guilt and trauma over what Kraven did to him and the hunter’s consequent suicide.
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In her younger days MJ also had a curiosity regarding Peter after she initially learned he was Spider-Man. In Untold Tales of Spider-Man #16 displayed this acutely, depicting MJ even following Spidey on one of his adventures.
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More poignantly let’s put ourselves in MJ’s shoes for the moment.
The love of your life just randomly showed up at your home, proclaimed they nearly died and now wants to get back together after years apart.
Wouldn’t you  want some more details? Wouldn’t scepticism or basic curiosity or concern lead you to discover more?
But let’s severely stretch the suspensions of disbelief. Let’s say that at no point did she nor Peter talk about what led to their reconciliation. Even accepting that, surely Mary Jane would’ve heard about Mysterio’s involvement.
Super powered people are hot news in general. Peter for example was able to reliably make money from selling Spider-Man photos for years. In Mysterio’s case, he was one of the few costumed criminals who actively designed his look and schemes to be attention grabbing. It was pivotal to his plan back in ASM #13 and his entire life has been built around a desire to put on a show and be centre stage.
More importantly, the sheer scale of his crime and the number of heroes involved in combatting it (which included ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’) would’ve been serious news. It would’ve been covered by pretty much any news service Mary Jane cared to consult. That’s not even mentioning just general conversation occurring around MJ during her daily routine.
Basically osmosis would ensure MJ learned of Mysterio’s involvement.
That’d be especially true considering he is a villain she, her lover, her friends and her family have had direct dealings with. If it were Moses Magnum she’d have still found out about it. But to say she would’ve remained in the dark when it was specifically one of Peter’s enemies is ridiculous.
Within MJ’s memory Mysterio isn’t a villain who’d simply be lost in the sea of freaks and weirdos Peter combats. He’d stand out even among them due to various factors:
His duels with Spidey. Spider-Man has battled a lot of costumed villains but when you look at his history he doesn’t actually fight all that many repeatedly. The ones that he does amount to just over two-dozen. It basically amounts to most (but not all) of the villains introduced in the first 50 issues plus several few others, most notably Venom, Carnage, Hobgoblin and Jackal.
His bizarre appearance. Mysterio designed it specifically to be attention grabbing and even amongst Spidey’s regular rogues it’s the most baffling. He wears a fishbowl for a head!
His involvement acts of public terror. These include his TV message from ASM #66 and ‘Ends of the Earth’. The latter was probably the single most global scheme any of Peter’s villains have ever participated in and a highly publicised affair. In fact all six of the villains involved in that would realistically stand out in most anybody’s mind!
The regularity of his fights with Spidey. Mysterio isn’t the Big Wheel or the Hypno-Hustler. He’s one of just over two-dozen foes Peter regularly tangles with.
His personally targeting MJ and her loved ones. MJ was abducted by Mysterio (remember she didn’t know it was actually Berkhart) and lived a fake life as a result. One of MJ’s mother figures had her death faked by Mysterio, which broke the heart of her beloved Aunt Anna. The love of her life was framed by Mysterio early in his career and had his sense of sanity and confidence attacked by him, not to mention his workplace (see FNSM #12). If you wish to count it, Mysterio also faked the death of her ex-boyfriend and long time friend Harry Osborn.
His actions violent actions in ‘Guardian Devil’. Even if one argues MJ only knew what she heard on the news the extreme level of violence Mysterio engaged in was unusual for one of Peter’s foes. The Goblins or the symbiotes might do stuff like that, but most of Peter’s other foes aren’t nearly as bloody as Mysterio was in that story. In fact Mysterio himself hadn’t been prior to that so this would’ve been a surprise. As such this would very likely stick in MJ’s mind on some level.
His suicide. Arguably above anything else he’d done, Beck’s suicide would’ve made him stand out amongst Peter’s foes. Few of Peter’s major enemies have seemingly definitively died and only 3 could be said to have done so by taking their own lives. Considering how Mary Jane isn’t going to be forgetting Kraven in a hurry someone intentionally copying him is inevitably going to stick out to her.
All of which is to say that MJ isn’t going to lose track of who Beck is. She isn’t going to treat him as simply another costumed creep in a city chock full of them.
He might not stick out in her mind in the same ways (or to the same degree) as some of Peter’s other foes. But he’d definitely be among the foes that would stand out to her.
Heading for Hollywood
The fallout of Mysterio’s ‘invasion’ was chronicled in a back-up story in ASM v5 #1, wherein he stands trial. This further proves how serious and public his crime was. But it’s relevance lies in how it contextualizes Beck’s actions going into AMJ.
Mysterio is represented by lawyer Janice Lincoln (secretly a super villainess herself) who tries to get him a lighter sentence on the grounds of insanity.
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Abruptly though, everyone (sans Beck) seemingly die as the courtroom is transformed into a nightmarish sight. Mysterio is then confronted by a powerful and demonic figure (eventually referred to as Kindred). 
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Their consequent conversation heavily implies that following his suicide in ‘Guardian Devil’ Mysterio went to Hell, was recruited by Kindred and resurrected to fulfil a mission on his behalf (the specifics aren’t clarified).
This mission is part of a larger campaign against Spider-Man, whose secret identity both Kindred and Beck are aware of. In fact Beck’s staged alien invasion was intended to dispense with the collected heroes on Kindred’s behalf.
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Kindred gave Mysterio one more chance and Beck suddenly found himself back in the courtroom as though nothing had happened. 
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Convinced of his insanity he was sent to the Ravencroft institute for insane super villains, which is where we find him next in ASM v5 #24-25.
In these issues, we discover that Beck has manipulated his psychiatrist (Dr. Winhorst) into believing he is in fact Mysterio. At the same time Beck has readopted his guise and Dr. Rinehart. As Rinehart, Beck further manipulated Winhorst (dressed as Mysterio) into having a therapy session and nearly revealing Kindred’s real identity. This prompted Kindred to appear and murder Winhorst.
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As Rinehart, Beck gave a statement to the police regarding ‘Mysterio’s’ death. This confirmed that the authorities had found a body and at least at that point in time believed it to be the real Mysterio. Since Beck has faked people’s deaths before (including his own) it is entirely plausible that he had the means to fool their methods of verifying the identity of the body. This would be the case even if the authorities used Marvel universe pseudoscience.
However the story never confirms if Mysterio’s death became public knowledge, the police may well have been keeping it quiet as they investigate further.
These are factors to bear in mind when we go forward.
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Kindred catches up to Beck and reveals he is fully aware of the attempted deception. He chastises Beck for failing to fulfil his mission for him. Kindred admits though that had Beck done as he was asked he’d have been returned to Hell. 
Instead of punishing him though Kindred instead produces a film script Beck wrote. He suggests that in his remaining time alive Beck fulfil his life’s dream and make the film a reality. His rationale for this is that Beck’s goals align with his. 
Specifically that in giving Beck what he wants it will somehow deny something to someone else Kindred has a vendetta against. This leaves Beck confused.
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In this same issue the new Electro takes an acquaintance of Mary Jane’s hostage and threatens to kill her on social media. Using her acting skills to deceive and distract Electro, Mary Jane manages to rescue her ‘friend’. Her social media performance is lauded and swiftly followed by her old agent contacting her and offering her a role in a new movie by a new writer/director, one who asked for her by name. This is of course Mysterio.
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In ASM v5 #29 we see MJ rehearsing the script with Peter, as I mentioned earlier in this essay series. Something else to take note of though is that MJ and Peter mutually praise the script.
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Anyway, as the issue proceeds Peter is divided about MJ’s departure. He wants her to be happy and pursue her career but also doesn’t want to lose her (again). Unfortunately Spider-Man business crops up causing him to miss her departure for L.A. There are no hard feelings and the couple are committed to maintaining a temporarily long-distance relationship. Nevertheless, this saddens Peter as we learn he was hoping to propose to Mary Jane.
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I bring this issue up because it is not only directly continued in AMJ #1 but it provides potentially important context for our analysis of Beck moving forward.
Beck is making this movie for himself. However, he is fully aware his dangerous demonic overlord wants  him to and has a vendetta against Spider-Man; whom Beck also knows is Peter Parker.
Kindred claimed that by allowing Beck to make his movie he’d be denying someone something they want. It is extremely likely that this ‘someone’ is Peter and the ‘something’ being denied is Mary Jane. This is evidenced by Kindred’s portrayal up to this point coupled with the sadness MJ’s departure caused to Peter.
What is a little more debatable is if Mysterio personally wanted MJ in his movie or if he requested her presence on Kindred’s orders. There is no on panel evidence of the latter and Mysterio’s confusion in ASM v5 #25 implies he doesn’t understand how making the movie will help Kindred.
On the other hand Beck is not unintelligent so if he knows Pete is Spidey and that Kindred is targeting him then it’s unlikely he couldn’t deduce Kindred’s meaning. After all, its unlikely that Beck wouldn’t do a little homework and found out the man who famously took photos of Spider-Man also had a long romance with the actress/supermodel Mary Jane Watson.
Furthermore there seems to be little rationale as to why Beck would want Mary Jane in his movie other than due to her connection to Spider-Man. Her acting credits are small and wouldn’t be all that impressive in his eyes. This supports the idea that MJ’s inclusion in the movie was due to Kindred not Beck. Or perhaps her involvement was something Beck wanted but that was due to her connection with Spidey, making her a pawn in his scheme.
Regardless, Mysterio likely knows MJ’s involvement plays heavily into what Kindred wants, even if he hypothetically doesn’t know exactly how. This makes his insistence upon using her unethical and his lack of honesty dangerous to her and her loved ones.
That just about brings us up to speed on Mysterio. Now we’re ready to truly get into the meat of the matter starting with Amazing Mary Jane #1.
*It could be argued this is the rationale behind making her a journalist in other continuities such as the Ultimate Universe or the Gamerverse.
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absolxguardian · 5 years ago
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In Which I Hit the Concept of Force Dyads With a Hammer Until They Work (A canon complaint fix)
Here’s my canon complaint fix-it for one part of TROS- the Force Dyads and Kylo Ren’s redemption. This is a Watsonian explanation for that part of the film that should make canon more enjoyable for people with similar tastes in stories to me. This reinterpretation is anti-Bendemption, agrees with Kreia regarding the Cosmic Force (“I hate the Force, I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance when countless lives are lost”), and features tropes I’m a fan of. It accepts every detail canon has given us and uses them as a sandbox to (in my opinion) make a better version of the story. Except for the R/ylo kiss at the end. That’s just flat out ignored, since doing so doesn’t require a massive restructuring of the film. If this isn’t the kind of thing you’d like, then keep scrolling. As for everyone else, let’s begin.
Rather than structuring this post by following the film and jumping back to explain the changes, I’ve structured it in an order that introduces concepts as they build off each other until we get to the actual fixing.. I’d also like to thank my mom for assuming that the only way Kylo Ren could be “redeemed” was through possession and therefore planting the seed of this idea.
If there’s evidence for an idea, I’ll include it. Otherwise if I plainly state a new fact, it’s just my headcanon.
I. BALANCE
I think part of the reason why actually understanding the Force is hard, resulting in both fans and authors talking themselves into circles is that there are actually multiple forms of balance regarding the Force.
1. Natural Balance
“Breathe,” [Luke] said. “Just breathe. Now reach out with your feelings. What do you see?” [....] [Rey’s] first impression was life—life all around her. She could sense herself, and the Caretakers pottering about near the huts, but there was so much more than that. She felt the presence of flowers and grasses and shrubs. Birds and insects and fish, and creatures too tiny for the eye to see. Her awareness of all of it seemed to crowd her senses, plunging her into something so deep and intense that for a moment she thought she might drown in it, only to realize that was impossible, because she was a part of that life. But there was death, too—and decay. Dead flesh and vegetable matter, sinking into soil that hid bones and dry sticks from bygone seasons of the island. She shrank from this new awareness, but sensed almost immediately that there was nothing to fear. From the death and decay sprang new life, nourished by what had come before. She could feel the warmth of the suns—not just on her face but on the rocks and the surface of the ceaseless tumble of the water. And cold, too, which surrounded the dark places where the roots of the island and the seafloor were revealed as one and the same. There was peace—mother porgs with their eggs, sheltered and safe in warm hollows—but also violence that left behind broken nests and shattered shells. And all that her senses showed her had been but a moment. That moment was but one of trillions, part of a never-ending cycle that had begun eons before she was born and would go on for eons after she was dead. And it was itself part of something vastly larger, so enormous that her mind couldn’t grasp it, an immensity even the stars were but the tiniest portion of. -The Last Jedi Novelization
Natural balance is the Living Force is ecological balance. It’s the food chain properly aligned. It’s rotation cropping. It’s the cycles of life and death that exist on a planet. The cycles, that while they may result in short term destruction, are better for all life forms in the long run. It’s the connection between all living things, and the expression of the Living Force. It is also homeostasis, the balance inside us that we need to exist. The tested machine that most bodies are.
This isn’t a balance for sapient beings. There is nothing immoral about a predator who kills its prey. It is immoral to commit murder. The only reason the Empire disrupted this balance was because of their rampant exploitation and destruction of environments such as Lothal. It is an unforgiving balance, but the basis of all life.
Dume is an expression and protector of this balance. He wanted the Empire gone because that was the only way Lothal, and many other planets, could have their Natural Balance.
2. Personal Balance
“But you’re finding the balance, without even meaning to. You’re finding the place that’s level.” On the desk was a clear glass filled halfway with milk. [Maz] picked it up and showed it to him. “Do you see where the surface lies? If I tip the glass to the left, the surface tips high to the left and low to the right. And the reverse, when I tip it the other way. But if I hold it still—even if I swish it a little first, like this!—you watch, and it’ll…settle. It soon finds its level. Its balance. You’re doing the very same thing, though I’m sure you couldn’t explain it if I tried to force you.” [...] The room went white, and then it went black, and [Karr] fluttered his eyes trying to find the balance. He pictured the glass half full of milk. He imagined it sloshing around, back and forth, light to dark and back again. He thought of the surface, level and smooth. [...] Finding a place in the middle. Finding his balance. -Force Collector
This is the balance characters mean when they talk about finding your balance. It’s emotional balance, and balance between the Force and Not The Force. It’s the puesdo-zen thing. It’s what Jedi meditate to achieve.
It’s less of a balance between things, and more like the balance on a tightrope. Or the balance that Tiffany Aching must learn in the Discworld series to cast spells. Tiffany has to be balanced in the world and let magic flow through her without controlling it, just directing it. She must be like the fulcrum of a scale.
In the case of the Force, if you lose your balance you fall into the Dark Side- something I see as More Force. But if you are careful, you can play among the edges. The equivalent of going faster on the tightrope and using the disruption of the line. To continue this metaphor, the Jedi Order we see in the Republic is the equivalent of when you are so concerned about keeping balance that you don’t move down the tightrope itself.
It’s also the balance one needs in their personal life to remain healthy. These first two types of balance are also ones that find expression in our own world. When the Jedi give good psychological advice, like accepting what can’t be changed, considered thought about the greater good, and moving on from the dead- what they’re advocating promotes Personal Balance
3. Cosmic Balance
Kreia: “I hate the Force, I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance when countless lives are lost” -Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
“Let’s say I do,” Rael answered. “Let’s say I believe that someday there’s going to be perfect balance in the Force, thanks to some kinda ‘Chosen One.’ Did you ever really think about what that would mean, Qui-Gon? It would mean the darkness would be just as strong as the light. So it doesn’t matter what we do, because in the end, hey, it’s a tie! It doesn’t matter which side we choose.” -Master and Apprentice
I’m not considering Rael as a reliable narrator, but his speech expresses a common idea a lot of fans have regarding balance in the Force, so it seemed like a good opener. While Kreia’s famous line is basically the philosophy that I’m following here.
I’m not considering Rael as a reliable narrator, but his speech expresses a common idea a lot of fans have regarding balance in the Force, so it seemed like a good opener. While Kreia’s famous line is basically the philosophy that I’m following here.
When characters talk about “bringing balance to the Force”, they’re talking about Cosmic Balance. So how am I defining it? There are two scenarios that bring about balance- when neither a dark side or a light side organization controls the galaxy or when a dark side and a light side organization are of similar power levels. So during the prequel era? Force is unbalanced. It’s too stagnant. During the reign of the Empire? Likewise unbalanced. The number of light and dark side users may be roughly similar, but the Sith control the galactic government while hunting the Jedi. Between the OT and the ST? Actually balanced. No Force order exerts a large amount of influence on the galaxy. Something like the setting for Star Wars The Old Republic where both the Sith and Jedi have their own powerful states? Also balanced.
So why? Well I haven’t entirely decided on a reason. This definition of balance comes from the Cosmic Force, which while not evil, isn’t good either. It has some purpose beyond the understanding mortals. But that’s the cosmic dance that the galaxy keeps getting thrown into without concern for any kind of morality. It’s just it’s nature. The nature of an eldritch being. That’s the will of the Force. It seems fitting that not even me, the author, knows why that is its nature.
II. THE CHOSEN ONE PROPHECY “A Chosen One shall come, born of no father, and through him will ultimate balance in the Force be restored.” -An ancient Jedi prophecy (Master and Apprentice)
The Father, to Anakin: “And now you see who you truly are. Only the Chosen One could tame both of my children.” -The Clone Wars (S3E15 Overlords)
This is what we know of the Chosen One prophecy. There have been different readings of it, but I think now that we have the actual text of the prophecy and the fact that Anakin was able to control both of the Ones, it has to be him.
So how does he do so? Well during the PT there are two seperate conflicts from which balance can come from. The first is the conflict between the Ones, pure unadulterated expressions of the Force (more on that later). And then the galactic conflict, on a less reality shattering scale.
Anakin brings balance to both of those conflicts through destruction. By the end of the Mortis arc, all of the Ones are dead- with Ahsoka carrying the spirit of The Daughter. And he eventually balances the galactic conflict by creating a scenario with both a diminished Sith and Jedi order. 
As part of the fact that the Cosmic Force is so far removed from us, it doesn’t care about how the galaxy is actually being ruled. If the Empire wasn’t led by dark side users, then there would still be Cosmic Balance.
Shortly after Vader yeets Palpatine, the Cosmic Force falls “asleep.” This has to happen after the party on Endor, because Force Ghosts are expressions of the Cosmic Force (that’s why you shouldn’t trust them), so it obviously isn’t a binary flicking of a switch.
That aspect of the Force—the Jedi had called it the living Force—was ceaseless and ever-renewing. But the Jedi had spoken of another aspect—the Cosmic Force. It had an awareness, and a purpose, and a will. A will that had been silent, dormant after the demise of the Sith, only to wake once again during Luke’s exile. A will that Luke finally allowed himself to acknowledge once again. -The Last Jedi Novelization
So achieving balance through destruction of the expression of both the Light and the Dark wipes the slate clean to begin again. This current story- this current cycle, is over. The Chosen One prophecy has been fulfilled, and so now the Cosmic Force must slumber until the stage is once again set.
IV. THE ONES
The Father: “You cannot imagine what it is to have such love for your children, and realize they could tear the very fabric of the universe. [...] A family in balance, the light and the dark. Day with night. Destruction replaced by creation. [...] Too much dark or light would be the undoing of life as you understand it.” -The Clone Wars (S3E15 Overlords)
But before we can move onto the last cycle, I need to expand on the Ones. The Son and The Daughter are pure expressions of the Force- all of it: Cosmic, Living, and in between. Their conflict also expresses Personal Balance on an external stage. They leave such big imprints in the Force that they can disrupt the Personal and Natural Balances of the galaxy itself, which is The Father’s worry.
They are also somehow related to time and The World Between Worlds. Since they’re part of the Cosmic Force, which is partially time neutral (From a Certain Point of View stories Master and Apprentice and Time of Death), that makes sense.
Sometimes they go dormant and exist purely in the Cosmic Force. Other times they embody themselves inside mortal beings. What we see in the Mortis arc is when they embody themselves in the physical world without a mortal shell. That is when they’re at the most powerful. When they are in equally matched conflict, Cosmic Balance is achieved.
The Father was once a Chosen One. When he was mortal, the Son and Daughter battled openly in the physical world, leaving destruction in their wake. As the Chosen One, he could control them. By fully embracing his full potential, he became a Force-God, but one whose power could wane and wouldn’t be reborn in the same way as his metaphorical children. That’s how he can say he’s dying in the Mortis arc. He exiled the three of them to Mortis, so the children could carry out their conflict separate from the galaxy and stay in balance.
He’s what Anakin could have become if he remained on Mortis instead of killing the incarnations of the Ones. Except Anakin never would have. Force prophecies are like prophecies in Greek mythology, they always come true, just rarely how you’d expect. The Cosmic Force uses visions, prophecies, and even Force Ghosts to manipulate people to fulfill their goals. People still have free will, but it’s basically impossible to outsmart a being who can already see the impact of all of its actions and plan accordingly. It only gives prophecies and visions in the precise way that will make them become self fulfilling, to carry out its unknowable goals.
Ahsoka is an embodiment of the Daughter, but that’s a divergence from the cycle. She doesn’t have a Son to compliment her. Without knowing what Ahsoka does after Rebels, I can’t write how the Cosmic Force accounts for this aberration.
Ahsoka doesn’t understand her divine importance the way The Daughter did, but even The Daughter wasn’t plugged into the Cosmic Force’s actual will. Nothing, no embodiment of the Force, ever is. Ahsoka has powers beyond her understanding and control, but she used them to influence the World Between Worlds to save her.
V. AND THUS, THE STORY
Kylo Ren sensed her before he saw her. As he flew his TIE whisper along the flat desert, she was a bright presence in his mind, practically glowing with determination and ferocity. Something odd pulled at his chest. It was the same feeling he’d had when he’d faced his father for the last time, when he’d made the decision to kill Han Solo. You had to kill the past, yes, but you had to kill the light, too, to fully claim the darkness. He finally understood. Han Solo was his past. But Rey was his light. That’s why Kylo was still in agony. That’s why he couldn’t shake the memory of his father’s hand against his cheek, of those eyes full of love and understanding. Kylo hadn’t yet destroyed his light. Maybe the Emperor was right. She needed to die. That, or he needed to kill the light in her. -The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
So now that we’ve set up all the concepts, we can get to the actual fixing of the Dyads. If you couldn’t guess from what I’ve been focusing on, being Force Dyads actually just means that Rey is the embodiment of The Daughter and Kylo Ren The embodiment of the Son. While to us, TROS is the end of the Skywalker saga, to the Cosmic Force, the previous cycle involved Anakin and went from before the PT to ROTJ. A new cycle begins for the Force at TFA.
That’s why Kylo is obsessed with Rey, either killing her (and returning the Daughter to domancy) or by turning her to the Dark Side. That is how he must express the conflict of The Ones.
The standard definition of a dyad is something made up of two parts. Not a matched pair, but a single entity. That’s what The Ones are. If one of their mortal embodiments turned the other to their side, that aspect of The Ones would have reached out and overpowered the other.
There is one line in the novelization that’s doesn’t quite work with this reading:
[Palpatine] tried to create a dyad with Anakin, as his master had tried to create one with him. The Rule of Two, a Master always in desperate search of a yet more powerful apprentice, was a pale imitation, an unworthy but necessary successor to the older, purer doctrine of the Dyad. -The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
But don’t worry! I do have an explanation! Palpatine’s just an unreliable narrator. Some previous Sith had gleaned something about the actual dyad system and interpreted incorrectly from there. He can sense that Kylo and Rey make a true Dyad together, but he has no idea what that entails.
So when did Kylo and Rey become the Son and Daughter? Well this wouldn’t be much of an anti-Bendemption reading if he was forced to the Dark Side by the Son. We know that the Force woke up when Kylo Ren fell (A will that had been silent, dormant after the demise of the Sith, only to wake once again during Luke’s exile), but that’s just the Force getting ready because now a new cycle is beginning.
Kylo and Rey become embodiments of the Ones right when TFA began. That’s how everyone is talking about some aspect of the Cosmic Force being awake then, even when it supposedly woke up six years ago.
The Force chose who would act out the roles of the Ones, fighting each other, deciding the fate of the galaxy, and one of their eventual destruction by who was in the most suitable situation at the time. Kylo and Rey both already had high levels of potential in the Force and their own destinies. They were also both in the right place to come into conflict and were aligned to the right sides. So they were chosen, for the extent of any amount of chronology you can put onto the Cosmic Force.
What happened to Ahsoka to free up the Daughter’s spirit? I don’t know. TROS already implied that she’s dead with her showing up as the one of the past Jedi, but I don’t like confronting that idea. Maybe she surrendered the spirit? Or an embodiment of the Cosmic Force took it from her? Maybe she lost it when the Force fell asleep anyway? But the fact she was likewise once an avatar of the Daughter is why Rey can hear her voice. Because she wasn’t a Jedi when she died, her rejecting the Order is pretty important to the arc. And Rey wasn’t channeling all the light side users that came before her, just Jedi. And Ahsoka because of their connection, whether or not our favorite Togruta is still alive then.
So that is how Rey and Kylo are connected, and why they each have the unwavering belief that they can turn the other. They could just kill the other, but that would be a less satisfying end to the conflict. If they, as people, could beat the other in a battle of wills and push out the other One, that’s a more satisfactory ending. Hence:
With this realization came another certainty, even more gut wrenching: [Kylo] was relieved he hadn’t killed [Rey]. 
-The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
Basically every kind of R/ylo-y sounding piece of narration is explained because they have a different kind of connection between each other. It’s less soulmates and more Gannandorf vs Link. Which is why it entails Kylo torturing Rey and her friends.
Speaking of her friends, Finn is even more heavily implied to be Force sensitive in the novelization than he already was. And he has this piece of narration:
No one quite understood [Finn’s] single-minded devotion to Rey, except maybe Leia. Even Rose—though she accepted it—thought it was a bit strange. But it wasn’t strange at all. Rey was Finn’s friend, yes, but she was also important. He sensed it. It was that same undeniable feeling he’d told Jannah about. If anything happened to Rey, the Resistance didn’t stand a chance. 
-The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
Finn already gives me the vibe that he’d be a Jedi Consular in the old Legends system, so it fits that he can vaguely sense Rey’s importance in the Force.
Now, up until that scene in TROS, Rey and Kylo aren’t being possessed by The Ones. The only influence it is having on their thoughts is that it connects them together and causes Rey to believe that there is still hope for Kylo after his many many second chances.
When Leia sacrifices herself to distract Kylo, that’s what she’s intending to do. Leia still loves Kylo, she can’t help herself. But she isn’t the kind of person who gets consumed by personal concerns. So she plans to use her misguided love for good, to distract Kylo in the right moment so that Rey could kill him.
And Rey almost does. But she’s influenced by the spirit of the Daughter. So she heals Kylo, but that’s not all she’s doing. As she’s channeling her life energy into Kylo, she’s also channeling her will and the spirit of The Daughter. With that, Rey unknowingly possesses Kylo Ren and forces him back to the Light Side.
When Kylo has his vision of Han, that’s his brain representing this new influence on him. Rey doesn’t have direct control over Kylo. She doesn’t even have any idea that this happened, but she forces Kylo’s goals to align with hers.
[Ben] blasted them easily, one shot for every kill. Not long ago, he would have taken pleasure in this, but now he had only one consuming desire: Help Rey.
-The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
And now it is time for the Cosmic Force to lie! Basically, everything that Luke tells Rey at Ach-To is actually the Cosmic Force using his consciousness (see the post I linked earlier about how connected Force Ghosts are to the Cosmic Force). I feel like one of the Cosmic Force’s motivations has to be making sure that the only way to cheat death is through becoming a Force Ghost. This works with how George says that the only way to truly transcend the need to die is to let go and become a Force Ghost. All Must Eventually Return To It. A dark side shade like the Nightsister’s magicks or the Enchantress’ spirit in The Mighty Chewbacca in The Forest of Fear is ok. But Palpatine survived by mastering the whole “consciousness transfer into the clone” power he had in legends:
His body was dead, an empty vessel, long before it found the bottom of the shaft, and his mind jolted to new awareness in a new body—a painful one, a temporary one.
-The Rise of Skywalker Noveliation
And that’s not allowed. So the Cosmic Force wants Palpatine permanently destroyed, even if it means this cycle lasted only two years. So that’s why “Luke” says something like this:
Rey said, “I gave him some of my life. In that moment I would have given him all of it…died if I had to.” “Your compassion saved him,” said Luke.
-The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
And everything else he says in the film itself. When Rey says she would have spent all of her life energy to save Kylo, that’s just because she had an instinct to keep pushing her essence into Kylo Ren. She wasn’t aware that was because she was defeating The Son in a battle of wills.
And speaking of Force Healing, this entire extra story also fixes how Kylo Ren was able to revive Rey from being entirely dead. Because with all the stuff George said about becoming a Force ghost being the only way to transcend death, any very powerful Force User being able to bring someone else back from the dead by sacrificing their own life feels like way too low of a power requirement. There’s only been one other character resurrected in such a way, and that was Ahsoka using The Daughter’s spirit. So Rey’s subconscious reaches out and uses Kylo Ren’s life force to come back to life, and to subsume the entirety of The Ones in a Light Side aligned form.
Is that ethical? Debatable. But theme wise, this story is more in the realm of old myths where things Just Happen, directed by beings too unknowable for things like human morality.
Now other than the thing we’re all ignoring, there are two last pieces of narration from Rey in the novelization that doesn’t work with this reading, so let’s address them.
[Ben] acknowledged her, and Rey’s lips parted in surprise. It felt different now. The connection was…right. Good. Like coming home. Ben was similarly stunned, and together, they wasted a precious moment reveling in this new sharing. This is how it should have been all along. A true dyad.
-The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
The girl who had felt alone for all those years on Jakku had been part of a dyad the whole time. And just when [Rey had] discovered that precious connection, that incredible oneness, it was ripped away.
-The Rise of Skywalker Novelization
This is actually just Rey misunderstanding a different feeling- being drunk on Light Side power. We have a general understanding about what being overwhelmed by the Dark Side is like, but without exceptional means it’s impossible to have one’s Personal Balance disrupted by the Light Side. That’s falling off our metaphorical tightrope, but into the air above you.
The Light Side often feels like coming home, like warmth, like connection, and like certainty in purpose. So while someone overwhelmed by the Dark Side feels drunk on power, what I just outlined is what someone overwhelmed by the Light Side feels. Also Mind Tricks are already a Light Side power, so it makes sense the most extreme form of it leads to a Light Side high.
So Rey leaves Exegol, incredibly powerful in the Force and the Cosmic Balance once more gone. Perhaps the galaxy will receive another generation, or even more, of peace. But one day, the cycle shall begin again- as the Cosmic Force demands.
So that’s it. I hope you now feel better about the dyads and Bendemption if you previously disliked that part of TROS. AU fix-it fics aren’t really my thing, and I prefer trying to fix thing up from a Watsonian, rather than Doylist perspective. If anyone has anything from the New EU that seems to contradict what I’ve written, please let me know so I can properly address it. If you have anything to add to this idea, such as why the Cosmic Force wants these cycles, please contribute. And if someone wants to make fanworks based on this idea, I’d love that so much.
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glowing-disciple · 5 years ago
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This is sort of a follow up to the post about a certain YouTuber I made a few days ago. Yes, it’s still bothering me, and I woke up this morning with two more realizations about it. I tagged that post “broken pedestal” after the trope (link), as this guy was someone I respected, and I think that’s part of why I’m still a bit sore about this situation.
To be a bit more specific, it looks like he overplayed his hand this time. Simply put, he’s made something of a name for himself in his community, and the low quality of the recent video’s arguments makes me suspect that he’s letting the attention he’s receiving go to his head. If he’s not careful, he might end up creating a cult of personality around himself, which would be rather ironic considering how much of his content is about cults in general.
Apparently this last video has been nagging at me enough that my brain’s still chugging on it while I’m sleeping, as I woke up this morning thinking about his channel, and had two things to say about it and one of the arguments he made in his recent video.
Firstly, he likes to mention his background. Specifically, he was raised in a Christian household, and he also studied the Bible in college. Since he didn’t leave the Faith until after he returned home from college he wasn’t trying to discredit the Bible at that point. This information is sometimes brought up as a way of cementing his own authority or expertise on Christianity as a whole, but considering the rather severe theological errors he’s making and allowing on his channel lately, I’m thinking that this education wasn’t very good or thorough enough to warrant bringing in it up. Basically, it sounds like that Bible course was an elective, and that’s an important thing to know. Electives can teach a lot of useful things, but they aren’t meant to grant someone authority on a topic. For example, I studied child psychology as an elective, but that doesn’t give me the right to call myself a psychologist.
Along those same lines, he seems stuck with the idea that the Christianity he was raised with is also the only possible understanding of the religion. By this I mean that he seems to reject any new or contradictory information about Christianity. He was raised to believe that the Earth is 6,000 years old and that God created homosexuals for the explicit purpose of sending them to Hell, and any other possible understanding of Christianity gets left out when he talks about it. Previously, I was under the impression that he just stuck to what he was taught and didn’t seek out alternative views -- after all, most people don’t question the beliefs they were raised with. But, judging by the almost malicious misquotations from 1st Corinthians in the video that started this thread, I’m starting to think he’s just picking the easiest target to criticize -- in other words, I’m wondering if he’s deliberately using strawman arguments.
The second thing I realized this morning has to do with another claim he made in that one video. According to him, God doesn’t care about women, and one of the evidences of this is that He didn’t prohibit rape in the Ten Commandments. There are several problems with this, but let’s just focus on two.
One of the main flaws of that argument is that the Ten Commandments, as we know them today, are a man-made grouping. There are a ton of laws and commandments in the Bible, but the “big ten” are actually a paraphrasing of seventeen verses ( Exodus 20:1-17 ), and even then, churches group them together differently. Among other things, this means that you can’t reliably use “the nth Commandment” when discussing them, as the numbering isn’t always the same. These commandments do cover the majority of sins, but treating them as the only or most important commandments is risky. Furthermore, Jesus boiled down all of the commandments into just two statements ( Matthew 22:36-40 ). These two statements point to the essence of right and wrong, and would clearly prohibit violence against another person, especially something as traumatic and horrible as rape.
But, for the sake of argument, let’s say that the Ten Commandments really are the only or most important commandments and see how this claim holds up. Let’s start by reviewing the verses that comprise the Ten Commandments:
I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments. 
You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name. 
Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it.
Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 
You shall not murder. 
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
So, according to these passages, adultery and coveting your neighbor’s wife are both prohibited. That would mean that sexual relations (consenting or otherwise) between someone and another person’s spouse would be against God’s Law. But what if a woman is single or widowed? Is this a loophole that would allow people to rape someone without penalty?
For that answer, consider what Jesus said on the subject in Matthew 5:27-28:
You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
With this in mind, it sounds to me like any sexual sin, including rape, is effectively adultery, and therefore prohibited by the Ten Commandments. If a casual reading of the Bible can disprove such a claim so easily, it would suggest that either this guy isn’t as much of an expert as he claims, or he’s more interested in making Christians look bad than being honest.
Also, if you really wanted to be thorough about it, there are instructions for dealing with rape in the Old Testament that explicitly protect women. It’s been a while since I looked those up, but if memory serves, the rapist would be facing execution if caught in the act.
All in all, this leaves me with one simple question about this YouTuber: how long has he been doing this?
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lil-nest · 5 years ago
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TU vs VOUS, a quick guide
Hello, French learning friends! I’ve seen many people try and often fail to explain when you should use “tu” or “vous” in French, and for the longest time, I couldn’t find a reliable rule myself. However, a completely unrelated Ted Talk about communication and collaboration in human society helped me finally put my finger on the underlying pattern I could sense but not explain.
Now, before we begin, this post will be long. It is a “quick” guide not because reading it will be quick, but because once you have read it, deciding between “tu” and “vous” will (hopefully) be quick.
Introduction: On communication and collaboration in human society
First, as soon as I find the link again, there shall be a link in this sentence to the Ted talk I mentioned, it is mildly relevant to this introduction, completely irrelevant to French politeness in general, and pretty cool regardless.
Okay, so. Do you know what is super cool about human society? Our ability to communicate and then cooperate with total strangers with the help of social scripts. And it’s not even just basic cooperation like handed a bill to a cashier in exchange for a liter of milk. For example: last month, I was sick. So I went to the doctor. It was my first time meeting this particular doctor. And yet, before we even met, we had managed to agree to a meeting time. Then, I let a complete stranger poke at my throat and ears, trusting that he would not hurt me. Meanwhile, he put his finger near my very numerous and sharp teeth, trusting that I would not bite him.
Crazy right? You will probably answer “of course not!”. Because society has taught us that it is (most often) safe for Patients to let themselves be poked by Doctors, and that it is (usually) safe for Doctors to poke Patients without fear of being attacked.
Now, what you must remember for the rest of this is the way I capitalized Doctor and Patient. Because despite being both complete and complex people, for the duration of this appointment we were interacting as a Doctor and a Patient. We were both filling social roles in a socially scripted situation, and everything went smoothly because we both trusted the other would do it too.
There is, of course, another type of interaction, which happens between two people who know each other, (mostly) off the script, where things go smoothly because we know each other, and can predict what the other wild want, do or say and act accordingly. For example, if my sister decides to poke my cheeks, I trust that she won’t hurt me, because I know her, and she trusts that I will be careful not to harm her when I swat her hand away.
You see how different those two situations are? Situations like my visit to the doctor will be put into one big category of “Society is what enables us to trust and cooperate” and situations like my play-fight with my sister will be “Personal connection is what enables us to trust and cooperate” (There are probably real sociologic words for these things, but my knowledge comes mainly from science popularization, which often shies away from big words)
This distinction is important, because people are incredibly complex, and there is neither enough power nor enough storage space in our brains to consider every single person we interact with like Complex People. Instead, we create roles and stereotypes (some of which are bad, most of which are necessary - try to live your lives refusing to assume the nicely dressed people with silver plates in the restaurant are the waiters).
How do I get tu vs vous from this?
Well it’s easy, just ask yourself: Are we talking/interacting as Complex People or as Social Roles?
If you are talking as People, use “tu”. If you are talking as Social Roles, use “vous”.
Examples:
*)Checking out milk at the corner store. You are customer #172, they are Cashier #3, use “vous”.
UNLESS the cashier happens to be your BFF. Then, upon seeing them, your first thought will not be “This is a Cashier” but “This is my Friend, who happens to be a cashier”. Even though the situation should call for Social Roles, your brain overrides this by pointing out the Person hidden behind the Role: you should probably use “tu”.
*)Talking to your BFF: this is your BFF. You know each other like the back of your hands. “tu” is your best choice.
UNLESS you want to be very formal, but using vous for your BFF is like calling your husband “mister”. It’s funny if you’re doing it ironically, otherwise it will make the people around you feel like they are in Victorian England.
*)you just joined a knitting club: use “vous”, but because clubs are about socializing, you will most likely be told to use “tu”, and be quietly expected to tell people to call you “tu” too -in general, if someone tells you to use “tu”, especially during introductions, it’s better to reciprocate - this is because while you found the club thanks to Social Roles, the people in the club wish to become Complex People with other members, so you use “tu” not because you are already a complex person to these people, but because they are allocating the space in their brain for you to become one once you have gotten to know each other.
In a way, “tu” vs “vous” is a lot like first name vs last name vs title + last name. But since first/last name conventions are wildly different from country to country the comparison isn’t very helpful. Just note that usually in France, the people you call “tu” are the same people you call by first name, and the people you call “vous” are the same people you call “mister/miss/missus X” (note that “mademoiselle”, the French word for “miss”, is best avoided until you’re confident in your knowledge of the hows and whys of it, for reasons related to sexism which I will not get into because this post is long enough, just use “madame” for all women and if they don’t like it they’ll ask you to call them mademoiselle instead, no big deal)
Now if you only wanted the rule of thumb you may stop here, but I also added a bit about how and when mixing them might offend people, and another about exceptions and ambiguous cases, if you’re curious.
When and how choosing the wrong pronoun(?) will offend
Before I start on the exceptions, let me give you a general idea of what happens when you get it wrong, so you can decide what risks to take when you hesitate.
Now, obviously, in most cases, messing up will just result in being kindly told to use the other one, because causing a scene about it is most often a rude thing to do, especially if the person you are talking to is aware that you are not a native speaker. BUT regardless of how the other person reacts, the confusion might make them feel upset, and we’re trying to avoid that because we are kind people.
Now, if you call “tu” someone who was expecting you to call them “vous”, they will feel disrespected. The idea is that calling someone “tu” is a sign of familiarity and knowing each other. The person will feel as though you think yourself much closer to them than you actually are. In the words I used earlier, calling someone “tu” is claiming you are interacting with them as Real Complex People. If the person you’re talking to was just seeing you - and wanted you to see them - as a Social Role (Coworker, or Neighbour, or Literal Stranger Asking For The Time) they will feel as though you are trying to force yourself in a private social circle you weren’t invited in. This is why common responses (or internal rant) to being wrongfully called “tu” are along the lines of “you don’t KNOW me” or “I’m not your friend”.
For those it might interest (fic writers) asking someone to call you “vous” when they used to call you “tu” is a way of saying “we are now strangers” with irreproachable formality. Think of the Drama. Also if you feel like someone is acting in an overly familiar manner with you, ask them politely to call you “vous”. If they’re decent people and didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, they will understand the underlying request and correct their behavior. If they cause a scene, treat them like you would treat a guy who makes a scene because a girl in the street refused to give him her number.
However, if you call “vous” someone who expected you to call them “tu”, it is generally less likely to offend, because like all things concerning human relationships, if one person feels close to another, but the other doesn’t, the two people are considered “not close”. It might lead to disappointment or hurt, though, because being called “vous” when you were expecting “tu” means the other person doesn’t feel as close to you as you expected, and it can be a bit disheartening.
Note that that situation is different from the situation where you are a stranger to the other person but they ask you to call them “tu” because they wish to make the Social Role situation into a Complex People situation, or at least pretend to do so (this is most often seen at work, when your boss asks you tu call them “tu” for “team morale” or stuff, or things like vacation camps and stuff where the guides ask you to call them “tu” to avoid making the trip feel stiff and formal). In this situation the person you’re talking expected you to call them “vous” and hence do not have any kind of hurt feelings.
Exceptions and ambiguous cases
Now that you know the basics, let me tell you about all the ways everything I just told you is wrong. I mean, us French have several proverbs about how our all the rules in our language have exceptions, and this one has plenty.
The first exception is kids. My only advice for kids is “do your best not to use pronouns to them until you’ve heard someone else do it”. The general rule is that at least until they’re teenagers kids should call all non-friends “vous” and everyone should call kids “tu”. For teenagers you do literally whatever you want - people who call teenager “vous” usually do it in order to say “I take you seriously and I don’t think you deserve less respect than an adult”. Some teenagers see this and are happy about it, but you might get mocked. Also, note that more uptight and traditional families will expect their kids to be called “vous” - this might be useful to remember if you become an Au Pair or something.
The second related exception is post-BAC/university students. There the rules are simple:
-your classmates are all “tu”. Yes, even if you’ve never talked to them because your “class” if a “promotion” of 100 people. If they’re in the classroom with you and not teaching it’s “tu”. An exception might be made if you are An Actual Adult who went back to school as opposed to a Young Adult who never left it, but they tend to insist on being called “tu” too. Fellow students who are not in your class are will probably not care. Most student will go with “tu” in that wase, but I usually go with “vous” because being overly formal is how I cope with social anxiety.
-PhD students who do teaching for lower grade students (I think in the US they’re called TAs?) will call them “tu”. Lower grade student will decide on “tu” or “vous” depending on whether the PhD student is acting like “I Am Your Teacher” or “I Am An Older Student Here To Share My Knowledge”. If you hesitate “vous” will not be out of place.
-Teachers will expect to be called “vous” and whether they call students “tu” or “vous” is a coin flip. If the teacher calls you “tu” and is just being friendly, let them, but if they are being uncomfortably familiar with your, don’t hesitate to put an entitled expression and very formally ask them to call you “vous”. If they’re decent they won’t cause a scene, if they get angry it should be an alarm bell. (see above section). Once again, people who are not Young Adults will be called “vous”, even by teachers who call the Young Adults “tu”. (There might be something uncool about the way young adults who are students get treated like teenagers more than like other adults, but often they don’t consider themselves “real grown-ups” either, and either way it’s not the point of the post)
The third exception is about hierarchy: sometimes someone who is above you in a hierarchical environment will feel entitled to call you “tu” while demanding to be called “vous”. In any context other than university this is disrespectful and you should know it. It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable calling them out, but know that you deserve better.
Ambiguous situations are usually either:
a)”We only interact via society roles but we do it often and a lot so we befriended each other and now we don’t know whether to keep using “vous” or switching to “tu”” - this is often the case among coworkers who slowly got to know each other. It’s best to have a conversation about it, even though it might feel a little awkward.
b)You are introduced to someone via a common friend, but you do not have a relationship with the person outside of the common friend. The best-known case if your In-laws -once again, just ask.
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keplercryptids · 6 years ago
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response to jesse thorn re: accessibility
someone posted the petition to reddit awhile ago (not me lolol, i stay as far away from reddit as humanly possible), and jesse thorn responded. i only just saw this now so uhh, let’s get into this, shall we?
Jesse: Yeah, we agreed to launch with a transcription service called Gretta that covered ONRAC and Reading Glasses. They're some kind of machine learning startup, their model isn't providing transcripts, it's about using podcasts to get AI to understand talking and how people interact with spoken audio....Ultimately we're grateful they do this, but don't feel it's reliable in the long- or even medium-term.
well, we agree on this point. Gretta isn’t a solution. last i checked, the last ONRAC episode they transcribed was in august.
i put the rest under a readmore because it’s a long one, folks, and content warning: i get really angry at the end.
Jesse: We transcribed The Turnaround through a combination of a startup journalism-oriented transcription service and staff time. We found that both sides of that equation were extremely expensive. 
automated transcriptionist services aren’t super great so again, we agree.
Jesse: A lot of companies doing transcription are opening and closing lately, we've been tracking them, looking at whether any of them could do any of this efficiently and affordably. When Bullseye had a transcriptionist, we found that just the process of editing and posting the transcripts he provided was taking like half a day of the producer's time, and at the time that was like 15% of her total Bullseye workload, and it just wasn't sustainable. 
i don’t know how to tell you this bud, but you had a shitty transcriptionist. a good transcriptionist’s work would not require editing after the fact. they should transcribe and format everything to agreed-upon specifications beforehand, and their final product should be ready to publish immediately. i’m not really sure who was transcribing your stuff before but it doesn’t sound like they were a professional.
Jesse: We are also somewhat hamstrung by the nature of our relationship with our shows, most of which are independently owned and produced; none of this is something we can do unilaterally, and none of it is something we can lay the cost of at the feet of our show creators. Transcripts are a very major expense even for our biggest shows - around a thousand dollars a month per show. That's more than a number of our shows make in total. 
i have no idea where he’s getting this number from but....that’s just not true. to give you an idea, independent contractor transcriptionists make about $1/minute of audio. some make more than that, sure, but that’s a pretty standard rate. (how do i know? i used to be one.) so even for a show posting once a week (many of which do not), that’s about $250 a month per show with hour-long episodes. going through a company would probably be more expensive, yeah, but again, he’s throwing these numbers out without any context or receipts. it seems like another tactic to garner sympathy from his audience because it’s omg! a big scary number!
Jesse: We are still a very small company that is supported by its audience, not a big VC-backed corporation.
and your audience would very much support a drive to raise funds for transcripts.
Jesse: That said, this really is something we have worked on continuously for years. I care very much about accessibility, Bikram cares very much about it, and our hosts and producers care about it. I'm sure as a JJGo listener you've heard about this, but my father is disabled, and he worked for a number of years with his best friend Ed Roberts, who was probably the most significant leader of the independent living movement in the 1970s, 80s and into the 90s. I met Jesse Jackson during his 1988 presidential campaign because my father was writing policy speeches for him regarding independent living. I've also got two kids with audio processing challenges. Accessibility is very personal to me. I've put a lot of time into trying to find a sustainable answer. We just haven't found one yet.
ahh, this. this. i mean, i hope a lot of you see the problems with this without me saying anything. i’ll continue to be amazed by folks with personal ties to disabled people who still do and say ableist things at the drop of a hat. it’s..... just astounding, really.
Jesse: I would love to meet every goal we have as a company, but we have a pretty wide breadth of goals, and we can't meet any of them if the books don't balance. I honestly would just say thank you to those folks like you and ILyr who have shared with us that this is important to them, and ask folks who are calling me a heartless asshole monster on the internet to understand that we are pushing forward on many fronts, and working to run as moral and world-bettering a company as we can, but our resources are what they are, and we have to make hard choices every day.
jesse, my dude? people are calling you a heartless asshole because less than a year ago, you posted on reddit that disabled people are “better off” consuming visual comedy because written comedy wouldn’t translate. less than a year ago, you said you could not see the value in transcripts for comedic shows. you said an asshole thing, and you’ve run an entirely inaccessible network for years now. 
until the petition gained thousands of signatures, you did NOT assert that accessibility is important to you, either personally or professionally. before thousands of people told you this was important, you did not state that it was important to you at all. you ignored individuals who reached out to you about accessibility. your public response was that it cost too much money. suddenly now, with this petition, this is something you’ve “worked on continuously for years.” but before that, you sang a very different tune. your past responses (and lack thereof) are not those of a person who deeply cares about accessibility and who is committed to finding a solution. this is why people are calling you an asshole.
the above two paragraphs are so “woe is me” that it’s actually impressive. i don’t feel bad for you, jesse. i feel bad for the disabled communities who have had to band together to create transcripts for ourselves. i feel bad for the thousands of people that have been completely cut off from podcasts since their inception. i feel bad for disabled people that always, always, always have to advocate for themselves, because even their family members don’t see the value in accessibility. and i hope - i genuinely hope - for a better, more accessible world for your children. i’m gonna keep fighting for that world, even if you discredit me because i called you an asshole.
Jesse: My biggest hope at the moment in this particular area is that the big tech companies (Amazon, Google and Apple) are all working really hard on voice recognition right now, and Google specifically has promised machine transcripts will be built into their app in the future. That and other platform improvements may change the game here. We will be actively engaged from now until then.
waiting for the tech to catch up is a strategy, i guess. it’s a really fucking bad one though. if we all did that, guess what? there would be no image descriptions and blind people would have no access to visual elements of the internet. cool, though. i guess we’ll just have to cross our fingers and hope mega-corporations care about us.
anyway. that’s my hot take. i’m gonna go lie down now until my blood pressure is back to normal.
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gleek-runner · 6 years ago
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I was tagged by @darkside-cookies-913 who I, if you haven't figured out already, stan more than anything else. What an idol. Go follow.
Rules: answer this q & a. Then tag your five new followers and three of your biggest fans. (I assume based on the tumblr algorithm)
So I shall tag: @moutliaaa @youdontknowmesowhydoyoucare @kalamilamepolutampler @lucieischilling @silver-and-gold27 and @fangirl-daydreamer97 @falloutnikki @drawyourgunsr5
What's your shampoo scent?
Strawberries. Although, because of my hair conditioner, my hair usually smell like honey.
What's your aesthetic?
Empty coffee cups, stacks of cds, broken mirrors, open notebooks, yelling before bursting into tears, stretchmarks, red and black, poetry, new ideas, withering roses, sarcasm, broken wings, crooked smiles, memes and finger guns.
What's your favourite time of the day and why?
Early in the morning because I'm somewhat more happy and cheerful.
What do you like the most at the beach?
The sound of the waves.
What's the one thing you keep stressing yourself about?
The future and what I'll do with my life.
A song that's made you cry.
When I was younger, like one or two years ago, Two Birds had me weeping like a baby. Currently though, It's over isn't it has the same effect. (Honorable mentions: All Hamilton songs, Waving through a window and Seventeen)
Some tips to ease your followers.
Tumblr is not a reliable source. Never. Posts don't solve everything. The world is ugly and will always be. If you however, learn to not give a hoot, you'll be fine. Do chase what you want but don't fly too close to the sun.
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Things that make you tear up.
Being yelled at. Failing. Dogs dying. Compliments.
What's your favourite thing for every sense?
Sight: moments before the sun is down when the sky is yellow. Frozen areas. Neon lights.
Hearing: violin and piano melodies. Up-beat music. People singing softly and suddenly going too deep. My dog's woof.
Taste: coffee, cheese and chocolate.
Smell: honey, baked cookies, the smell of home after being away, new books.
Touch: blankets, wool, my dog's fur, pillows.
In which alternative universe would you like to live in?
Somewhere, there's a world where soulmates are real and I would be very okay with that. Unless, we're already living in that world and that's why we wake up with songs stuck in our heads that we haven't heard for some time ;)
What's some problems you face on a daily base?
Failure. Social anxiety. Lack of time. The constant fear of how awful I am both outside and inside along with the self-objectification. The big possibility that I shall never be loved enough.
A scene from a book that always makes you sad?
*spoilers ahead for The Death Cure*
Thomas walked half the distance to Newt, then stopped. The worst part about his friend was the wildness in his eyes. Madness lurked behind them, two festering pools of sickness. How had it happened so quickly?
“Hey. Newt. It’s me, Thomas. You still remember me, right?”
A sudden clarity filled Newt’s eyes then, almost making Thomas step back in surprise.
“I bloody remember you, Tommy. You just came to see me at the Palace, rubbed it in that you ignored my note. I can’t go completely crazy in a few days.”
Those words hurt Thomas’s heart even more than the pitiful sight of his friend. “Then why are you here? Why are you with … them?” (...)
“Just come with me,” Thomas begged. “I’ll tie you up if it makes you feel better.”
Newt’s face suddenly hardened into anger and his words shot out in a rage. “Just shut up, you shuck traitor! Didn’t you read my note? You can’t do one last, lousy thing for me? Gotta be the hero, like always? I hate you! I always hated you!”
He doesn’t mean it, Thomas told himself firmly. But they were just words. “Newt …”(...)
“I hate you, Tommy!” He was only a few feet away and Thomas took a step backward, his hurt over Newt turning to fear. “I hate you I hate you I hate you! After all I did for you, after all the freaking klunk I went through in the bloody Maze, you can’t do the one and only thing I’ve ever asked you to do! I can’t even look at your ugly shuck face!”
Thomas took two more steps back. “Newt, you need to stop. They’re going to shoot you. Just stop and listen to me! Get in the van, let me tie you up. Give me a chance!” He couldn’t kill his friend. He just couldn’t. (...)
“You wanna know why I have this limp, Tommy? Did I ever tell you? No, I don’t think I did.”
“What happened?” Thomas asked, stalling for time. He slipped his fingers around the weapon.
“I tried to kill myself in the Maze. Climbed halfway up one of those bloody walls and jumped right off. Alby found me and dragged me back to the Glade right before the Doors closed. I hated the place, Tommy. I hated every second of every day. And it was all … your … fault!”
Newt suddenly twisted around and grabbed Thomas by the hand holding the gun. He yanked it toward himself, forcing it up until the end of the pistol was pressed against his own forehead. “Now make amends! Kill me before I become one of those cannibal monsters! Kill me! I trusted you with the note! No one else. Now do it!”
Thomas tried to pull his hand away, but Newt was too strong. “I can’t, Newt, I can’t.”
“Make amends! Repent for what you did!” The words tore out of him, his whole body trembling. Then his voice dropped to an urgent, harsh whisper. “Kill me, you shuck coward. Prove you can do the right thing. Put me out of my misery.”
The words horrified Thomas. “Newt, maybe we can—”
“Shut up! Just shut up! I trusted you! Now do it!”
“I can’t.”
“Do it!”
“I can’t!” How could Newt ask him to do something like this? How could he possibly kill one of his best friends?
“Kill me or I’ll kill you. Kill me! Do it!”
“Newt …”
“Do it before I become one of them!”
“I …”
“KILL ME!” And then Newt’s eyes cleared, as if he’d gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his voice softened. “Please, Tommy. Please.”
With his heart falling into a black abyss, Thomas pulled the trigger.
Tell something to your followers.
During a hen's cycle, an ovary sends a yolk on its path. The yolk forms what we know of as an “egg white” as it moves through the reproductive tract into the shell gland. That means that eggs are a hen's period. In this essay I will--
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shoushatohaisha · 6 years ago
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review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)
so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.
about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.
about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.
about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.
without further ado...
first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.
i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"
and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)
the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.
with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD
i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.
the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.
wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.
during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.
also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD
nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.
new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD
and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.
now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.
sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.
anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.
IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.
new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!
kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.
tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)
last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)
it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—
his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;
part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD
anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.
(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐
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embracetheshipping · 7 years ago
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Hired Part Three - Conflict of Interest
@erikalyafter requested the following prompt: Trained as a sexual weapon Steve hunts the world’s best detective
Chapters (1) (2) (3)
In Steve’s line of work, referrals were the key to finding clients.  One couldn’t very well put out a flyer advertising mercenary-type services wherein sex (or at least the promise of sex) might be used to extort information or carry out an assassination.  More importantly, however, referrals gave him a minor measure of security, in that there was a six-degrees-of-separation element to the identity of his customers.  He had begun his career by working for people he knew and trusted, and they in turn recommended him to others.  And because the initial sources of the recommendations were reliable, he could feel more or less at ease in taking on new jobs.
It was for that reason, along with a general bad feeling in his gut, that he was currently preoccupied with mapping out an exit strategy rather than engaging in formal pleasantries with the group of well-dressed men seated around the table.
“I’m sorry – but how did you hear of me again?” Steve asked.
The group’s apparent leader, a tall, fit man in his fifties who identified himself as Ian Markova, waved away the question.  “I should think that would hardly matter, considering what we’re offering you.”
Steve begrudgingly agreed.  Under most circumstances, he wouldn’t have consented to a meeting with guys like these – mafia types, by the look of it – but he could easily retire on the compensation they were proposing.
“Fair enough.  What’s the job?”
Markova nodded to the younger man sitting on his right.  Steve was handed a manila folder, which he opened to discover the photo and dossier of an Interpol agent.
“Daniel Williams,” Markova introduced.  “Graduated with a major in Criminal Justice at Seton Hall, top of his class at the police academy, and generally acknowledged as a rising star in the law enforcement community.  Over the years, he’s worked for a variety of government agencies as a top notch investigator.  Two years ago, he was recruited by Interpol, where – presumably – he is still currently employed.”
“Presumably?”
“The nature of his job requires him to be constantly on the move and on guard.  Much of his personal history has been expunged in order to protect anyone who might be affected by his work, and very few can confirm his current status.”  Markova fixed Steve with a haughty grin, and his dark eyes shone with malicious humor.  “I, of course, am one of those few.
Steve frowned and closed the file.  “And what exactly would you like me to do?”
Markova folded his hands on the table.  “From what little information we’ve been able to gather, Agent Williams’s propensity for switching jobs so often may have also been due to prejudice, aside from his obvious talent for solving difficult crimes.  He has been openly bisexual since his college days.  And you,” he gave Steve an admiring once-over, “have both the looks and the skills necessary to get close to him.”
“And you know all this – how?”
“Never you mind.  The situation is this: Agent Williams has been, shall we say, interfering in my business affairs.  I could have him eliminated, naturally, but I think he could prove very useful, given the right incentive.  What I would like from you, is to find me some leverage.  Seduce him into giving up something I can use to secure his cooperation.  Complete this small task for me, and I will pay you the sum we spoke of - half up front, and the rest after you deliver.
Markova extended his hand.  “Do we have a deal, Mister McGarrett?”
“McGarrett.  McGarrett!”
“Hmm, what?”  
Daniel Williams – Danny, as he preferred to be called – shook his head in exasperation.  “I said – what do you want in your coffee?”
“Oh.”  Steve glanced at the self-serving refreshment station in the hotel lobby, wondering if they had any organic butter on hand.  He doubted it.  “Surprise me.”
“Black it is, then.”  Danny handed Steve a plain coffee in a disposable cup and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, facing him.  He turned his attention to the papers he’d left laying between them, all of them written in various eastern European languages.
“So, what are we up to today?” Steve asked.
Danny shot him a half-hearted glare, and Steve fought a grin.
Over the past several weeks, Steve had arranged enough chance encounters with Williams, subtly experimenting with different personas and hitting on him, that Danny eventually gave up trying to ignore  him and instead began to invite him along whenever he went out to run errands or complete other daily activities associated with life.  But every so often, Danny would disappear for several days, or he’d receive a call during one of their “dates” and would instruct Steve to drive his rented Camaro to some out-of-the-way location for a covert meeting.  Steve would then be forced to wait in the car while Danny spoke with someone on a disposable cell phone (a new one every time) or talk to a thin figure who consistently kept his or her back to Steve at all times.
While Danny’s clandestine operations, not to mention Markova’s frequent and increasingly impatient demands for a status update, kept him on edge, Steve had to admit that he was actually enjoying himself for the first time since – he couldn’t even remember.
Danny had this strange way about him that made him equally infuriating and endearing.  He had strong opinions about everything under the sun, from what was an acceptable topping on pizza to music to the ocean, and he had no qualms about sharing them in a remarkable and highly entertaining fashion.  He had a sharp tongue and an even sharper mind, quick with a joke, but just as quick with his fists (a fact Steve discovered when he’d pushed Danny too far and was rewarded with a right cross to the jaw).  
But more than that, Danny was kind and compassionate.  Steve witnessed it first hand when he “accidently” stumbled upon the agent in the aftermath of a raid.  He had been in the crowd gathered around a police barricade, watching in horror as Williams and the local police breached an abandoned building, only to exit moments later with malnourished, dirty and obviously abused children (victims of human trafficking) in tow.  He’d watched as Danny brushed the frightened tears off a little boy’s cheek, and draped his jacket around the shoulders of a nearly-naked girl.  
And once the smoke had cleared and all of the kids had been taken to several area hospitals, he had tailed Williams to a gym and watched him wail on a punching bag until his knuckles bled.
“Well, for starters,” Danny answered, setting aside his files, “Maybe you’d finally like to tell me something about yourself, something other than just your name and a bullshit backstory.”
Steve put a hand to his chest.  “You wound me, Danny.  I’ve told you TONS of stuff about me.  Why do you keep calling it bullshit?”
Though they’d achieved something resembling a real friendship, neither of them had been forthcoming with anything significant.  Steve continued to repeat the cover story he’d designed to attract Danny, who in turn talked and ranted in circles while never actually revealing anything beyond superficial details.
“Because it is,” Danny said.  He made himself comfortable against the cushions and laid his arm across the back of the couch.  “I’ve learned a lot about you over the last few weeks, and none of it meshes with the crap you’ve been spouting.”  Strangely, he almost sounded hurt.
“Yeah?  Let me guess – you’re one of those cops who run background checks on all of his dates, am I right?  Pray, enlighten me, officer.  Did you find something to contradict everything I’ve told you so far?”  Naturally, Steve assumed that Agent Williams would do his homework, but he had plenty of useful connections, including a hacker capable of revising Steve’s history to match whatever narrative he required.
Danny shook his head.  “Okay; first of all – no.  I did not run a background check on you, though in my line of work, that’s well within my right.  And second, I am a detective – agent – whatever, and a damn good one.  It’s my job to read between the lines and sort out the truth.”
“Okay, detective.  You think you’re so smart?”  Steve scooted closer and stared him down, his lips curved in a challenging smirk.  “What have you learned about me?”
“Well, let’s see.”  Danny placed the tips of his fingers to his temples, mimicking a psychic about to perform a reading.  He took an over-exaggerated breath.  “You either grew up in, or spent a significant amount of time in Hawaii.”
Steve’s smirk faltered.
“Swimming is your preferred method for staying in shape.”
Steve willed himself not to fidget.
“You have a dog, even though you’re more of a cat person.”
The smirk vanished altogether.  “How…?”
“You’re ex-military, probably U.S. Navy; your father is no longer alive, and you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which I’m guessing you haven’t sought any sort of help in addressing.”  Danny lowered his hands.  “How am I doing so far?”
To say that Steve was dumbfounded would be an understatement, so much so that he didn’t bother to contradict anything.  “I – how could you possibly know all that?”
Danny sighed and met his glare.  “I also know that you’re incredibly thoughtful and gentle.  Those who are lucky enough to call you ‘friend’ would describe you as deeply caring and loyal to a fault.  And, in spite of this playboy act, you’re a hopeless romantic who desperately wants a family of his own – one that will never forsake him.”
Steve crossed his arms and scowled.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Danny inclined his head slightly and lifted a shoulder.  “You can deny it all you want, but we both know I’m right.”
“You keep accusing me of being dishonest and cagey, but you haven’t exactly been forthcoming yourself.”
“Fair enough.”  Danny studied him in silence for a moment.  Then he nodded to himself, as though he’d made some sort of decision.  
He leaned to one side and reached into his pants pocket, pulling out a glossy piece of paper folded into a square.  He offered it to Steve.
“What’s this?”  Steve straightened the paper.  
It was a photograph of two children, a teenage girl with long, brown hair, and a young, blond-haired boy with a wide-toothy grin.
“My kids,” Danny said.  “Grace and Charlie.  They’re the only good thing to have come out of my failed marriage.”
“They’re beautiful,” Steve answered sincerely.  He returned the picture.
Danny gazed at it, a sad smile on his place.  “My ex got custody of them in the divorce.  Then she got remarried to this real estate developer who’s been constantly moving them around the United States.  The only way I could keep up was to study and work my ass off to become a good investigator so that I could qualify for a job with the FBI, and later Interpol, which gave me the freedom to relocate with them.”
He carefully placed the photo back in his pocket.  “What sucks is that my current case poses a significant risk.  I can only video chat with them over secured lines at random intervals.  I haven’t gotten to hold them in over six months.  And even before this whole debacle, my ex-wife has been fighting tooth and nail to bar me from visitation.  She thinks that if she distances them from me, it’ll hurt them less in the long run if I get killed in the line of duty.”
“That’s – I don’t even know what to say.  Sorry, I guess.”
Danny smiled a little in thanks.  “That’s why this will be my last case.  Once I wrap this up, I’m going to quit and find some place stable where I can put down roots.  I’ll retire from law enforcement; maybe open a restaurant or something.  And once I’m settled, I’m going to sue for shared custody.”
Steve could hardly believe what he was hearing.  On the one hand, he’d just been handed the exact type of leverage he’d been paid to uncover.  Clearly, Danny would do absolutely anything for his children; probably even cooperate with some less-than-savory characters to keep them safe.  All Steve had to do was excuse himself, call Markova, tell him about Grace and Charlie, and he could sail off into the sunset with a full bank account.  
On the other hand, Steve wasn’t the type of guy to put kids in danger under any circumstance.  More importantly, how could Steve betray Danny after such a massive display of trust?  If he was being perfectly honest with himself, he had grown to like Danny very much.  In spite of the lies, they had real chemistry, if not enough for a relationship, then at least they might form a good friendship.
Then again, that point was moot.  One way or another, Danny would learn the truth about Steve.  And when he did…
One of Danny’s phones rang, disturbing Steve’s introspection and Danny’s quiet observation.
“Yes?  Okay.  I’m on my way.”  Danny hung up and gathered his files.  “I need to go.  Duty calls.”
Steve stood up.  “And I suppose I’m not allowed to come along?”
“Sorry babe.”  Danny got to his feet and took a few steps closer to Steve.  “You busy on Friday?”
He mulled it over.  “I’m not sure yet.  I have some – uh – stuff to take care of.”
“Okay.  Well, I’ll check in with you later.”  Danny hesitated.  Then he leaned up and gave Steve a peck on the lips.
Steve blinked.  “What was that for?”
Danny grinned.  “Meh.  Just felt like it.”  He left without another world.
Steve raised a hand to touch his lips.  It was a hardly a real kiss, certainly nothing to blush about, and yet Steve could feel his neck growing warm.
Oh god; he was so screwed.
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aarunomura · 7 years ago
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MARGINAL#4「IDOL OF STARLIGHT KISS 2」CD Vol.4 Full Drama - Eru & Aru (Translation)
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★ Please DO NOT re-translate or post this translation anywhere.
TRACK 1: Anniversary With Eru
Today is my one-year anniversary of going out with her. I am on my way to her house for a celebration. This one year has gone by in the blink of an eye. But then again, they say that you lose track of time when you’re having fun. It certainly feels that way. Each day we spend together—no matter how much time passes by—is fun, brings me joy, and is irreplaceable. Usually, I get embarrassed and can’t be honest, but today, I’m going to properly tell her:
“Thank you for bringing me happiness.” “Let’s be together from here on out as well.”
☆★☆
*rings doorbell* *You get the door for him.*
[1:34]
Good evening! Thanks for having me. Haah, it was freezing. *sniffs* Hmm? Something smells nice. Were you in the middle of cooking? Can I have a look? Yay! What are you cooking, I wonder~?
Uwaah, cute! What is this sushi called again? That’s the word, “temarizushi”! You roll it around like a marimo, and it’s cute! Ah! And there are octopus wieners! You added faces to them as well! You made so much for me. Thank you. But they look so nice that I probably won’t be able to eat them. *laughs* I know that! I shall eat eeeeeeverything without any leftovers!
[2:55]
Ah, right. Do you want me to help you with anything? I can’t exactly make a complete meal, but I at least know how to roll rice into balls! Eeehhh... Then... *puts his arms around you from behind* How about I cheer you on until you’ve finished cooking? Come on, pick up the rice, and sloooowly roll them together. *amused* What’s wrong? Your hands have stopped moving, you know? That’s right, that’s the way. Good, and that’s one completed. Say, how many more are you going to make? I don’t mind making as mu—mmph!
Suddenly putting an octopus wiener in my mouth is dangerous. It tasted great though. *smiles* I’m sorry too. Then, I’m going to patiently wait in that room so if you want me to help you with something, call me. Whether it’s wiping the table or preparing the meal, I’ll do anything!
TRACK 2: Past and Future
Since I got chased out of the kitchen, I guess I’ll patiently wait until she’s finished with cooking. ...Oh? Gosh, she’s left all these books lying about. Hmm, “Best Management Theories”. “How to Make Idols Shine.” Fufu, she’s really diligent in her studies, that’s why. But well, thanks to that, we’re shining bright. Anyway, I’m going to move these books out of the way for the moment. Hmm? ...This. Could it be... a graduation album?
[0:57]
...She's not going to come in the room yet, right...? Heeh. What a beautiful school... I wonder which class she was in. Ah! Found her! She hasn’t changed one bit. How cuteee! There are so many photos from her cultural festival and sports festival! Oh? Is this it? Mmm, it’s so tiny I can’t see. It sure would’ve been nice. If we were the same age, we could’ve taken the same classes and participated in these kinds of events together... I actually... probably don’t know anything about her... Long before she started going out with me, she would be... laughing, feeling sad, and getting angry like this too, huh. I’m sure... she experienced love too...
[2:18]
*You come into the room and put a plate on the table.*
Ah!! H-Hold on! I told you to call me because I’d help out as well... Eh? Ah, this? I found it by chance so I was reading through it. It’s fine, no? It’s not something to fret over about. And besides, you looked adorable in your school uniform, you know? Ah, hey hey. There are a lot of photos of you together with this guy, but you were two close? Was he what you’d call an ‘ex’? Well that’s a shame. Just a classmate, huh. You say that, but what is the truth? Ahaha, sorry sorry. I know. I believe you.
Hmm? What is it? ...I’m being my usual self though? ...Then again, you could still tell that I was lying to you... But it really isn’t that big of a deal, and even if I complain, there’s nothing that can be done about it.
[3:40]
Ah... ...Don’t laugh, okay? I was thinking... that I don’t really know anything about you... The things about you before I met you, like the most enjoyable moments, as well as the saddest moments in your life. When I thought about how I don’t know anything about that... I just started to feel down... Even though it’s only natural for me to not know about those things from before we met... i-it still bothers me.
Say... Am I doing a good job at making you happy...? The present is more important...? That’s so unfair, saying that the times when you’re together with me are important... I-It’s like you’re trying to make a pass at me... G-Gosh, don’t say that it probably does. If you’re going to make a pass on me... *kiss* ...I’d need you to do this at the very least.
[5:09]
Fufu, your face is bright red. But... thanks. Because these moments when I can be together with you are the most important and precious to me as well. Let’s keep on creating lots of memories together, okay. 
Anyway, shall we eat? I’ll help you carry the food. Come on, let’s go. Fufu. I sure am looking forward to it~
TRACK 3: Important Friends
Uwaaah, they look tasty!!! These temarizushi are colourful compared to earlier and look so pretty! Thanks for the meaaal~! *happily eats* So gooood! They’re round, and are bite-sized and easy to eat, and look cute; they’re pretty much perfect! You went to all the trouble of making lots for me so it’s fine for me to give you lots of praise, right? And plus, I’m not lying. *happily takes another bite*
Hmm? What’s wrong? Ah, you’re talking about our stay-at-home date? Yeah, I wanted this so I’m fine with it. Well, when it comes to anniversaries, the amusement park or the aquarium would be the places to go to. But well. If we had an outdoor date, there’s a chance that we might get our photos taken by the cameras. In saying that, I’m only joking, and it’s because today’s our important anniversary that I wanted us to spend time alone together. And besides, I wanted to eat your home-made cooking after not having it for a while. It makes me happy that you’re willing to make it for me at any time, but when I thought about how you were going to make me even more delicious food since today is special, it made me look forward to it. Fufu, believe it or not, I skipped out on lunch today for this. *laughs* *happily eats* The taste of the shrimp has left such a deep impression on me...!
[2:13]
Say! What kind of student were you in high school? Like, were you diligent or devoted to club activities, for example? Heeh?! I wasn’t expecting that! Even though you seem like the type to listen attentively in class. Ah, but I totally understand! By the fifth hour, or when it’s after lunch, I feel sleepy.
You’ve got it wrong! The habitual offender of dozing off is Atom-kun. I have times when I become sleepy, but I still pay attention in class. Don’t worry! I attend all my classes, and get good marks on my tests too, you know? Ah! Hey! I actually have a test coming up, but if I get a good mark, won’t you give me a reward?
[3:10]
Aahh! I’ll hold you to that then. I’m going to go all out for the next test then so look forward to my results, okay? What kind of reward will you give me, I wonder~?! *amused* Ah! That reminds me, I forgot to discuss with Aru about when we should have our study session. We don’t do it every time, but we do teach each other when we feel that a topic that we’re bad at will show up in the test. The subjects that I’m good at and the subjects that Aru is good at are different so we both compensate for the areas that we’re bad at. And after all, if I get a failing grade, it’ll end up causing trouble for the agency and other members. Even if we try to teach Atom-kun a bit, it’s hopeless! On top of that, Aru and I can’t bring ourselves to be ruthless so we think it’s best to leave that to Rui-kun instead. Fufu, that said, Rui-kun is Spartan so I do feel kind of sorry for Atom-kun.
[4:22]
E-E-Ehh? R-Really...? Isn’t it the usual? Do I really talk that much about the others? I see... Hmm. But you’re probably right. In the past, I didn’t have much interest in other people, and merely observed them and adjusted according to their liking. But then I became a member of MG#4, and as I got to know the others, I was able to think that there was no need for me to force myself to adjust to others. That it was fine for me to be myself! I guess that was where it all started. By that, I mean how I began to see everyone not as objects for me observe, but as friends. Of course, that includes Kira-kun, Tsubasa-kun, and the others too. Right now, they are important friends. That might be why I wanted to tell someone about them. I’d feel like saying things like, “This happened yesterday.” Or, “Someone said this hilarious thing.” I probably wanted to tell someone, “All of my precious friends are interesting, and fun and reliable, and are good people.” Well, once in a while, my habit of observing people will come out, but I think of it as an important skill to have as it is, and therefore don’t see it as something I should fix.
[6:02]
...Wait, what kind of serious stuff are you making me talk about?! G-Gosh, it’s embarrassing...! ...You better not talk about this to anyone else. Good! Anyway, let’s eat! Come on, you’ve barely eaten. It’s delicious so you have to eat lots as well!
TRACK 4: Happy Travels
*sits down and sighs* Now that all of the dishes are done, we can sit back and relax. What are you saying? I got to eat your delicious cooking so it’s only natural that I’d help out with washing the dishes at least. Once again, thanks for making food for me. It was delicious. Oh, it’s already 8 P.M.? Are we meeting up early for work tomorrow? I see. I wanted to sleep over tonight, but, hmm... That might be difficult.
You feel lonely about that as well? You’re being unusually honest. No need to worry. We can still be together for a little while longer. ‘Kay? *holds your hand* Until time is up, how about spending some sweeeet time with me?
[1:18]
Eh. You can leave the drinks for aft—ah. H-Hold on! Ah. She left. Gosh, she’s so shy. Guess I have no choice. I’ll watch TV while I wait for her~ *turns on the TV* Ah, it’s Italy. How nice~ I want to go.
*You come back and put a cup on the table.*
Ah, welcome back. Thanks. Look, they’re doing a special feature on Italy. Uwaah, the sea is so beautiful~ If I get a week off, I’d like to go. Hmm, travelling alone doesn’t sound bad either, but if I’m going to go, then I’d like to go with you. I want to share the fun stuff with you, after all. 'Kay? Then... Shall we go together?
[2:29]
Woaaah, that startled me. That sound came from the TV? Heeeh. A quiz, eh. “What is the name of the bridge said to assure eternal love?” Ah, I know this. Do you know? Then, if you get this question right, how about I give you a reward~?! Fufu. So you want me to kiss you that badly, I see. Sure. If that’s what you wish for, then how about I make a kiss as the reward? Well that’s no fun.
So? What’s your answer? A hint. Hmm. Something that increases when you have someone you love, I guess. Eeeehh? Hmm, gosh, then... A special hint. Watch closely, okay? *heaves a deep sigh* Got it? Correct! They say that if you kiss on a gondola under the Bridge of Sighs, you will be promised eternal love. Romantic, right? If we ever get the chance to go to Italy for real, let’s go there. To swear our eternal love, that is. Anyway, I need to give you a reward, don’t I.
[4:16]
Alright, turn to the right. *blows in your ear* Hehe, sorry sorry. That was a little prank just now. I won’t do it again so turn to the right for me? Ah, ah, ahh, you can’t move yet. Alright, this side is OK. Okay, now turn to the left. Hmm. And done! Face this way. 
Yup, it suits you. I was torn over what kind of accessory would suit you, but in the end, I thought that earrings would be best. I mean, they’re easy to put on for everyday wear too, and it’d also be easy for me to notice them, like, “Ah! She’s wearing them for me again today!” right? Ah, right. I was the one who put them on both your ears so you haven’t been able to see them for yourself yet, huh. Let's see, mirror, mirror. Alright, here you go.
[5:30] *smiles*
I'm glad you like it! Hey, know what the green gemstone embedded on the earrings is? Fufu, bingo! Yup, it's emerald! Now, for what reason did you think I chose emerald? Bubu, wrong! I may be a marimo lover, but I wouldn't pick it for that reason. The correct answer is: it's because I wanted to make you happy. Emerald is apparently a gemstone deeply associated with love, and is often gifted to a lover with whom you wish to have a long-lasting relationship. Have you heard of the term 'emerald anniversary'? When you marry someone, after 55 years, you gift them with emerald in hopes that you can both be together for even longer.
Fufu. It's still a long way into the future, but it'd be nice if we could be together for those 55 years. When that time comes, let me give you an emerald again, okay? I will cherish you for a lifetime. Because I will bring you happiness. I love you, forever and always. Next year, the year after that, and for decades to come, stay with me? I love you. *kiss*
[7:20] *amused*
*shakes head* No. I was just thinking about how happy I am. I never thought that having you by my side and happily smiling for me would make me this happy. Hey, let me kiss you one more time. *kiss* Say, wear these earrings, and let's go to Italy. Let's have a date in a country where no one else knows us. Fufu. It's a promise. I love you. *kiss*
TRACK 5: Anniversary With Aru
“I’m on my way now.” And sent. Ah! It’s already this late?! I need to hurry! *starts running*
I started going out with her a year ago. Today is our important anniversary. A lot of things happened in the one year. Work for MARGINAL#4 grew, and we became busier, held many types of lives, and appeared in dramas too. Also, the memories I have with her, who always supports me with her kind smile, has grown plenty this past year. The memories were mostly good ones, but that wasn’t all. We also had our small arguments. But when I look back at them now, it might have been a good learning experience. With my heart filled with expectations of the kinds of memories that will be made today, I run. I’ll make it a wonderful day so wait for me!
TRACK 6: Light of Blessings
*You’re in the middle of chopping ingredients when the door bell rings. You go and open the door.*
Haah... Haah... Sorry I’m late...! Haah... When I left the agency, Atom-kun and the others got hold of me... Did I make you wait? I see. That’s a relief. Mhm! Pardon the intrusion. Haah...
☆★☆
[0:56]
Ah, this paper bag? Actually, the others gave it to me. I told you that Atom-kun and the others got hold of me when I left the agency earlier, right? They handed it to me at that time, but to be honest, I don’t know what’s in it either. Umm... Actually, after I told Eru that I would be home late because today was our one-year anniversary, it looked like he blurted it out to the others... And so during our break time, they went to all the trouble of buying presents for us. On top of that, when I left, I was told, “Wishing you happiness.” That made me happy, but it was also embarrassing. Ah, I know! Why don’t we have a look inside together? Then... By the way, is everything going alright with the cooking? I see. Then, how about we open it, and take our time looking at what’s inside?
[2:15]
Umm... First is... grilled meat sauce. This is definitely from Atom-kun, isn’t it. As expected of Atom-kun, he doesn’t budge. Next is... a small bottle containing a marimo... Eru doesn’t budge either, does he. Next is... chopsticks! I wonder if this is from Rui-kun. There are two sets of them. Eh? Ah, you’re right! This is Rui-kun’s handwriting. The envelope has, “Wishing you two happiness.” written on it. It’s just like everyone to give these kinds of presents. Eh? There’s more inside? Let’s see? ...What is this...? Handcuffs...? Ah, there’s more. Bathing powder, and cut-out cookies... A single rose... Wait! Geez, I bet that they found it funny midway through to add random things in! Geez! Well, I guess we should be grateful that they aren’t things with completely no use...
[3:43]
Shall we use the chopsticks later? Do you want the bathing powder? It’s written here that it’s effective against all kinds of sicknesses so it might be good for when you’ve caught a cold. Here! I’ll give it to you. Also, you can use the sauce when you’re eating grilled meat. And for the marimo... Do you want to use it as a decoration? Thanks. If you’re unsure about how to look after it, you can ask Eru. When it comes to marimo, he knows everything. What about the cookies? Do you want to try one? Then, here! “Aah.” Ah! S-Sorry! I just... When he eats snacks, Eru would often tell me to feed him so out of habit, I... Eh?! A-Are you sure?! Th-Then, say, “Aah.”... Is it nice? I’m glad to hear that! Then, I’ll have one as well. Mmm! It’s delicious! Let’s leave the rest for later. Continuing on... These two are left... What should we do with this?
[5:21]
Hmm. Using this for when I’m getting into a character role is a good suggestion, but... unless I get a police or mafia role, it’d be difficult to use it. Ah... I believe you open it and then wear it like this. Does it feel comfortable? *laughs* You’re in awfully high spirits... But... you won’t be saying that... for long. I’ll overlook it today, but... the next time I catch you... I won’t let you go, okay? J-Just kidding! I-I was thinking that if I were to create that role for a drama, it’d be something like this... Ah, did I frighten you? I-I see! What a relief! Ah. But... I am a man so you mustn’t let your guard down.
*laughs* I’ll take these handcuffs off you. What are you going to do about this? Use it as an interior decoration? If you don’t need it, don’t hesitate it say it. Ah, or how about... Here. To my beloved Princess. ...I don’t know how to capture the mood like Kira-san and Shy-san do, but if you like, please accept this rose. You’re welcome. Anyway, it looks like that’s it for the presents so how about we have our meal? I’ll help you! *laughs* I’m looking forward to your home-made cooking.
TRACK 7: Everyone’s Happiness
Waaaah!! Everything looks delicious! Thanks for making lots for me! Then, let’s have a toast, shall we? Umm, then... Thank you for everything you have done for me this past year. I look forward to our future together. Cheers! Then, I shall dig in right away. This tomato-baked chicken is super yummy! The meat is also tender, and somehow, it has a gentle taste. I’m sure it tastes more delicious than usual because you made it for me. I’m not over-praising you. Here, give it a try. Right? But, how nice~ Although I can cook simple dishes, I don’t know how to make a full meal. Of course I’d like to cook for Eru, but I’d like to cook for everyone too. But well, I probably won’t be able to make it as good as Atom-kun does. Just as you are supporting me, I want to support everyone. There are not many things I can do compared to the others so I think it’d be nice if I am able to support everyone from all angles. Ah, but it’s not like I’m being pessimistic. What I mean is that I want to do the things that I am capable of doing for everyone. I don’t plan on attempting the impossible so don’t worry.
[2:17]
Mmm... I wasn’t aware of it myself, but apparently so. Eru said the same thing as well. “Shouldn’t you be thinking about yourself more, Aru?” But personally, rather than saying that I’m prioritising other people, I think it’s more accurate to say that I’m putting myself in second place. If we’re talking about it in terms of extremes, then I guess it’s like I want other people to be happy before I am happy. That’s why I want Atom-kun, and Rui-kun, and Eru, and of course you, to be happy.
E-Eh? W-What’s wrong? Did I say something strange? Every one of us needs to be happy? I see. You’re right. It’s meaningless if not all of us is happy, right. I’m sorry. I know! From here on out, I’m going to make you and everyone happy as well as be happy, myself! Thanks for caring about me. Let’s continue to make many happy memories. *laughs* Anyway! Let’s eat! It’d be a shame if our food gets cold.
TRACK 8: Our Hearts Are One
There. I finished washing the dishes. Is there anything else you need help with? Hey now! No overworking yourself! Leave the things located in high places to me. Fuu, I wonder if everything is done now. I ended up entrusting lots of things to you today so in fact, I’m the one who’s sorry that this is pretty much all I can do to help out. Then, since everything has been cleaned and put away, let’s take our time to relax for a bit.
*yawns* Sorry, I’m starting to feel sleepy now that I’m full. I’d like to stay over for the night very much but... Thing is, no one is at home today so Mayuge is all on his own. I mean, Eru also has a night shoot, right? Also, it seems that our parents will be home late so it looks like there’s nobody else but me who can take him out for his walk. I’m sorry... Even though it’s our anniversary... Will you let me stay over next time? Thanks. Then, I guess I’ll head off before I end up dozing off.
Ah...! Hey! ...I-It’s nothing! I’m going to get ready to pack up right away, okay!
☆★☆
[2:14]
Thanks for today. I’ll come over again to hang out, okay. Ah, right. Before I leave... Here. This is for you! A present. Why don’t you open it? I thought about giving you a couple ring, but because I wanted you to use it in your everyday wear, I chose a barrette. I’m glad that you like it! This barrette has a gemstone called ‘orange sapphire’ attached to it, but it makes your dreams and wishes come true and allows you to think positively. For some reason, I get the feeling that I need it more though. But if your dreams come true, then that will make me happy too.
*laughs* You’re putting it on right away? Ah! Then, do you want me to put it on you instead? It’ll be difficult for you to put it on yourself, right? Come on, turn around. Can you put your hair up just a bit for me? ............A-Ah! Sorry! I spaced out for a bit there. Th-Thank you. Then, I’m going to put it on you, okay. Let me know if it hurts. Hmm. Okay! I did it. Mhm, it suits you!
[4:17]
Wait. Don’t turn around yet. I’m sorry. That we aren’t able to stay together the whole time. Truth is, I also feel sad. We finally got to be alone together like this, and yet... we’ll have to part again. This might not be manly of me to say, but during the times when I’m unable to see you, I always think of you. “I wonder what she’s doing right now.” “I want to see her soon.” “When I see her, I want to hug her and kiss her.” I would think about all those kinds of things. But with that said and done, I’m unable to put those thoughts into actions. That part about myself is no-good. But even so, I love you. I truly do. I won’t tell you to forgive me. But let me apologise for making you feel lonely. I’m sorry. *kiss* Hey. Face... this way for me. I’ll come to see you again. I promise. *kiss* Even when we are apart, I will always love you. *kiss* Fufu, I’m glad I was able to see your cute smile at the very end. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay. Good night. *kiss*
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Some thoughts on M!Lorca and Emperor Georgiou
I was reading some posts and thought that a greater exploration of these two characters and their respective villainy may be called for. The main thing I keep coming back to is: is it really so hard to accept that both mirror Georgiou and mirror Lorca are both pretty bad and neither of them should be “sided” with? The sins of one don’t cancel out the sins of the other, and they’re both horrible (albeit interesting) in their own special ways. I’m just sayin’, though Michael will probably have to make an alliance of opportunity at one point or another, neither of them is a “good” choice.
So let’s break it down a little, shall we?
Georgiou:
-eats sentient beings
-doesn’t hesitate to kill a room full of people
-is a-okay with torturing people for life
-may or may not be an overbearing, controlling mother-figure
-kills and subjugates alien races without a second thought
-rules the human population through terror
Big Evil Things all.
Lorca:
-possibly killed the entire crew of the prime Buran to cover his entry into the prime universe (arguably speculation at this point, but something weird happened there and lorca at the very least lied about his “eye injuries”)
-pushes his crew past their limits, jeopardizing their health
-orders Dr. Culber to fake a medical report
-pulls Dr. Culber away from taking care of Paul so he can’t figure out what happened (with an extra dose of gaslighting when Culber accuses him of planning their departure from the prime universe), therefore extending their stay in the mirror universe
-tries to manipulate Katrina Cornwell with sex and, when that fails, sends her into a dangerous situation hoping she will be captured or killed and refuses to help when it is confirmed she was kidnapped (what happened to his whole “i know what happens to people captured by klingons and not on my watch” spiel??)
-puts a traumatized p.o.w back into action without any therapy
-to avoid punishment (and complete his own personal mission) he inputs coordinates to take the Discovery to the MU, stranding his crew in hostile territory and erasing the last coordinates to keep them in the dark
-apparently manipulated a woman named Ava and used her until he was done with her before casting her aside or worse--and he has no remorse concerning his actions
-allegedly manipulated/had a relationship with mirror Michael, whom he must have known saw him as a father, and conspired with her to kill the emperor, her mother-figure (just sayin’, if the relationship bit is true, even if they aren’t technically related and she was an adult when a relationship began, that’s still super problematic. She still grew up under his care looking up to him as a father. The inherent power disparity there is stunning and unnerving. and regardless, her father-figure was helping mirror Michael plan the murder of her foster mother. just...wow)
-we don’t know if he wants to overthrow the emperor to make the empire a better place or just to usurp power. but we do know he was the right-hand man of the emperor, tasked with executing her most sensitive missions (which probably included mass murder on the reg), that he ran his ship in the prime universe like his own personal fiefdom and he didn’t think twice about telling michael to destroy the rebel base, no questions asked
(note, the lorca section is longer because we know more about lorca than we do about the emperor. To that end, I will include more commentary about lorca because, again, I’ve had more time to ponder lorca than evil georgiou)
Okay, so a lot of this might be excused(?) by arguing cultural relativism on behalf of the Terrans. Personally, I don’t think borderline incest is acceptable by any universe’s standards, but for the sake of argument I will agree that the source reporting this likely isn’t reliable and maybe that part isn’t true. But I don’t think Lorca is a “good guy” and unless some dramatic shift happens, I don’t think he should continue as captain.
From a certain perspective, Lorca may be said to have done a lot of good, too, and there are interesting arguments in favor of this. But I also think there’s another side to that coin, and I want to explore that a little more.
Look, Lorca has always struck me as an expert at manipulation. Expert manipulators know that it’s all a game of give-and-take, but they make sure to stack the deck in their favor when it’s their turn to take. They’re also extremely savvy when it comes to securing the loyalty of their followers.
Let’s look at some examples from Lorca’s stint on the Discovery using this theory as our guide.
Busting Michael out of prison? He didn’t do it solely for the pleasure of her company. He needed her for his own plans, as we now know. He also likely meant to cultivate a sense of indebtedness between him and her. When that didn’t go as planned, he had to change tactics and appeal to her curiosity and sense of duty to convince her to stay, a much softer but decidedly more effective approach. And Lorca, above anything else, cares about results, not how he gets them.
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Rescuing Sarek? He knew that mission was important to Michael, sure, but he also predicted that allowing her to rescue Sarek would make her feel gratitude and loyalty to him as well as convince her to trust him (trust being one of the most basic and important tools a manipulator has to work with). When she thanked him for his support, he even said as much: “I need a group of people around me to carry the day”. He wants her steadfast loyalty and trust so she will follow him even when he’s doing things she knows aren’t strictly in keeping with Starfleet ideals.
Speaking of which, from the get-go he encouraged her to shift her thinking away from Starfleet’s diplomatic ideals and start thinking in a more zero-sum, militaristic way. She proves a little less pliable than he might have liked, but she trusts him enough that she ignores his underhanded tactics. Still, he has to step lightly around her because he doesn’t have full control of her yet and he knows it. That’s another reason why he has to bend to her will at times; if he pushes back too hard she might begin to question his motives and start to doubt him, and that can’t happen for his plan to work.
Another thing expert manipulators do is forge a sense of commonality between themselves and the target of their manipulation, emphasizing their mutual (but superior) “otherness” from the group. Lorca is quick to call Michael superior to the other Federation scientists around them because she, like himself, can think outside the box and do what needs to be done (”universal law is for lackeys; context is for kings”). They are members of an exclusive club, one that knows what’s really happening, what needs to be done, and the difficult means by which to do it; everyone else belongs to the lackey club that must be guided by their superior insight.
As for other “nice” things he’s done? Springing Tyler out of prison was a strategic decision. Tyler said it himself;
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Lorca needed Tyler as much as Tyler needed him.
What about promoting Tyler and giving him a place among the crew? Look, if someone helped me escape a klingon prison hellhole after seven months of torture, I’d feel pretty fucking indebted to them. Lorca also knew that Tyler, like anyone who’s been through torture, would be anxious to get back at his tormentors and be prepared to break any rule to do it (see his conversation with Saru on Pavo).
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I wouldn’t exactly call Lorca’s actions here altruistic, but rather a calculated risk, like most of his decisions.
He sounded pretty kind to Tilly when she was freaking out on the captain’s seat, but then again, yelling at her and making things worse would have blown their cover and made a mess of his grand plans, so... *shrug*
The thing that’s so insidious about Lorca, even assuming his intentions are “good” and his end-game somehow justifies the means, is that he’s so good at manipulating people and so incredibly deft at controlling the people around him that it really makes me question his true intentions or feelings about anything. He’s a long-term strategist who can pivot and adjust to any situation, which makes him an extremely interesting character. It’s easy to look at his actions in the moment and say they are good, but Lorca is a big-picture thinker who dons whatever hat he needs to fit the situation. For manipulative people, kindness and cruelty are both tools that must be used appropriately and in the right measure to get what they want. Particularly in the Federation, honey will catch more flies than vinegar, and he knows that.
I’m not saying that Lorca isn’t a fantastically dynamic character and that I haven’t enjoyed watching his arc. And I’m not saying he’s devoid of emotion either; he may have some passing fondness toward a few of his crewmates, but at present I get the feeling that, while he doesn’t want to lose them and waste resources, they’re all pretty expendable if it comes right down to it. I do think he cares about Michael more than he cares about anyone else (that doesn’t excuse the bad things he’s done “for her” though...). And, smart man that he is, he has been careful to bend the truth instead of outright lying when possible. But that doesn’t mean he’s honest or that the sentiment he holds toward Michael is “pure”. I think her mirror counterpart always represented some avenue to power for him. He could care about her while also using her, but that kind of takes something away from the dynamic, doesn’t it? I don’t think you can love someone/have a healthy relationship with them while simultaneously using them imo. Even if he and mirror Michael were working together in full equality, prime Michael isn’t; Lorca is holding all the cards and that means he has all the power in the situation. She hasn’t been given a real, honest choice (as opposed to the illusion of choice), and that is fundamentally unequal and manipulative. He has asked her to trust him, but he hasn’t trusted her with critical information about himself and his goals in return. That’s selfish, dangerous, and pushes him further into bad/evil character territory for me.
Pivoting back to Emperor Georgiou, I also think she cares about Michael--or at least mirror Michael. But that also doesn’t make her a good person or better than Lorca. She’s comfortable in her fascistic regime. She commits genocide regularly and uses torture daily to impose fear and order among her subjects. That’s pretty cut-and-dry evil right there, no excuses. She’s probably her own special brand of manipulative, exploiting Michael’s straightforward Federation ideals and attitudes to her gain. Like, she’s obviously no peach herself (but holy hell, does she know how to dress to impress).
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At the end of the day (and with the information currently available), neither of them are a good option for Michael to form an alliance with. On the one hand, she’s got the devil she knows; Lorca seems interested in protecting her, whatever his reasons, but fuck, he’s royally screwed all of the crew on Discovery over, and possibly the Federation too (remember they had the information needed to win the war but that don’t matter if they can’t deliver it). On the other, she has the devil she doesn’t know; Georgiou represents an evil empire, but hasn’t personally betrayed Michael and initially seems to be on-board with getting the infectious ideals of the Federation out of her empire and back where they belong. Obviously neither of them are trustworthy, but they aren’t trustworthy for different reasons. Hopefully Michael will be able to find a solution that doesn’t “side” with either of them and possibly plays them off each other.
Personally, I don’t even think either of them are going to be The Big Bad. I predict that dubious honor will go to:
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He only corrupted the Mycelial Network, aka The Cosmic Force That Binds All Life Together. Seems pretty important.
Just a thought.
Anyway, long story short, characters can be evil for different reasons and be equally deplorable (though is Lorca that different from the Emperor? If he was emperor, would he use his power any differently? He seemed pretty okay with the idea of killing all the non-human rebels. Even if it’s all a show and the end justifies the means...that’s pretty ghastly. Hopefully the next episode will shed more light on his character). It’s not a linear spectrum where one must be more evil than the other. They both, at present, look pretty fucking terrible from my perspective. Lorca might pull some more magic out of a hat and somehow make himself less horrible, but that also doesn’t mean he’s automatically a good guy. And Emperor Georgiou could assist the Discovery and that wouldn’t erase the fact that she’s a genocidal maniac. Complex as they both are, they’ve both committed acts of evil and they both should be held accountable for their past deeds.
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