#So don't lose hope basically
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A thread I wrote on a different platform. I'm transferring it here.
Matt Browner Hamlin of @mattbh.com (on AT Protocol) WRITES: @aoc.bsky.social e-mail going after TikTok & social platforms collaborating with Trump - with a shout out to @bsky.app
ALT TEXT: First of all, Donald Trump is not president right now. He's a private citizen. He does not have access to presidential powers. He does not have the ability to do any of that. Please understand that TikTok's decision to name Trump in the notification is a choice. They are signaling that they have agreed to privately collaborate with Donald Trump and the Trump administration. For all of those concerns that people were saying that TikTok is gonna be used as a propaganda tool by the Chinese, understand they're using it as a propaganda tool for the right. Now, I want you all to put all the pieces together because what this effectively means is that every mass social media platform in the United States has been taken over by the right wing, with the exception of Blue Sky (but Blue Sky is still very small, relatively). (The thread: https://bsky.app/profile/thebirdwrites.bsky.social/post/3lg5p5lhyqk2i )
MY RESPONSE (I'm speaking to those that may see the above post and fear all social media sites are falling to fascists):
Not every social media site is being taken over. People forget that the fediverse (a decentralized web) still exists. There are servers of people who are decentralized communities of Leftists - some use the Mastodon client, some use Sharkey or Misskey, Friendica, and others. Stop forgetting them.
This isn't to say that far-right fascists don't exist on the fediverse. They do, but many defederate/block them. (EDIT: This also isn't to say bigotry doesn't happen on fediverse, it most certainly does and needs to be better handled).
For example, threads (run by Meta) is fascist transphobic racist trash.
Disabled.social, the disabled server I help mod, defederated/blocked them. This keeps us safe from those trolls. A majority of centralized social media like Meta (Facebook, Instagram, Threads), Tiktok, Twitter/X are all owned by corporations and funded by venture capitalists. THOSE are the ones that have already been taken over as Right-wing fascism already.
Bluesky isn't immune to this as it is also centralized.
Bluesky has shown a willingness to allow bad faith actors that harass and harm trans people. I haven't really seen a resolution to that yet, just people stopped discussing it. That's testing the waters. Bluesky has also taken venture capitalist funding. It's protocol is a centralized silo.
Will Blue Sky go the way of the others? Maybe. Based on Bluesky's own plans and documentation, they show a strong tendency toward profit and growth paradigms.
Will those community servers in the Fediverse fare the same? No, because they are based on community and safety paradigms NOT growth.
Decentralized networks in the Fediverse include these open-source clients: Mastodon, Misskey, Sharkey, Pixelfed, Peertube, Diaspora,Writefreely, and many more. People like myself can host a server on any of these for people to join. That community decides on how to handle moderation, updates, etc.
All of the fediverse uses the ActivityPub Protocol, which is NOT what bluesky uses. ActivityPub has more privacy built into it. (Edited to add: this is in comparison to AT protocol. It's not enough privacy - more should have been built in, but of the two, AT is worse in regards to privacy. Also, protocol and clients are not the same. Protocol is like infrastructure and clients is buildings atop it. The features in clients on ActivityPub hold far more privacy than the BlueSky client on AT).
Bluesky's AT Protocol has no privacy features (for one, I'm furious that it allows one to query block lists of people. ActivityPub doesn't allow queries like that, which is the difference I reference above.)
Open-source developers are making bridges between Blue sky and the rest of the larger fediverse, but the bridges aren't always stable as the two protocols don't talk well to each other.
So Blue Sky sits in a precarious spot, where their venture capitalists could push it toward an X demise.
But the larger fediverse (those dozens of different clients) are not affected by profit-driven, growth-paradigms. Most servers like disabled.social are run by people like me. Folks who live at home, maintaining software, so people can chat. Costs for hosting are paid for by donations.
However, centralized networks do not want you to know about decentralized servers. They don't want you to leave their silos, so they try to make it look unappetizing, while making their centralized services as easy to join as possible. But this leaves us to the whims of capitalist propaganda.
It's easy for centralized social media to become a propaganda machine (like Tiktok, X, and Facebook are doing) because they trap their users in their silos. The captive audiences end up seeing whatever these silos allow in.
Fediverse, since it's decentralized, is too diffuse to capture.
Focus of decentralized must become:
keeping the servers up and running (donations, combating attacks on Internet access).
Finding the safe servers where the community is good at blocking bigoted trolls and right-wing fascists and good at moderation.
Solidarity between marginalized groups to protect each other.
Working together to fight the growing fascist state.
Teaching and beefing up safety and security culture to help us survive the growing fascism
Teaching and showing how to engage in collective action, community building, and horizontal democracy (See book: Anarchic Agreements https://pmpress.org/index.php?l=product_detail&p=1286)
Our routes of communication is hindered, yes, by centralized networks falling under the control of far-right fascists, but my above thread is a reminder to all of you that not all social media has been taken over. Marginalized populations exist on the fediverse and are fighting back there too.
Remember, Community is the only way we'll survive this. They want us isolated and easy to destroy. That's why they are doing huge spectacles right away to demoralize us.
As long as our community continues to exist, as long as we continue to write and create art, we are resisting and surviving.
Do not let the huge spectacles and take over of centralized sites demoralize you.
Community can be built. We can work together to build that community. It won't be easy to build and maintain. We all will have roles to play for that. But it can be done. We can survive and defeat these fascists.
RESOURCES:
*Algorithms of Oppression by Safiya Umoja Noble
*We Do This 'Til We Free Us by Mariame Kaba
*Audre Lorde
*White Rage by Carol Anderson
*The End of Policing by Alex Vitale
*Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor
*Crip Kinship by Sins Invalid
*Care Work by Piepzna-Samarasinha
*David Harvey
*Paulo Freire
*Creative Interventions Toolkit: www.creative-interventions.org
*Beyond Survival edited by Dixon and Piepzna-Samarasinha
*Overcoming Burnout by Nicola Rose
*adrienne maree brown
*Andrewism's Library of Things: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOYa3YzVtyk
*John P. Clark
*A Profession Without Reason by Bruce Levine
*The Future is Degrowth by Schmelzer, Vetter, Vanisintjan
*Surviving the Future edited by Branson, Hudsen, and Reed.
*Leanne Betasamosake Simpson
*Cedric Robinson
*Disability Visibility edited by Alice Wong
*How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong
*bell hooks
(Any others feel free to add in notes...)
Addendum: I will add that although I discussed decentralized versus centralized -- I was focusing on the existence of alternatives, so that people didn't lose hope or think that all social media is now right-wing/fascist run.
So, having written that thread, I want to be clear that the fediverse desperately needs better moderation tools for the building up of the security and safety culture. Racism, ableism, and transphobia happens even in Leftist circles, so to keep the fediverse working for us, to build up solidarity and community, we need tools to combat that better.
We also need better documentation that's easier for newcomers to learn the ropes if they wish to get more involved in the developer side. I consider this part of security and safety culture -- building the tools for it and making it accessible.
#fediverse#decentralized#decentralized networks#decentralized versus centralized#We have to fight to keep hope burning#This thread was to help folks keep hope burning even as various centralized social media is taken over by fascists#We still have and can build more modes of communication and communities#So don't lose hope basically#Feel free to share more resources too#Also I did not want to get all that technical so I kept this more as an overview to keep it accessible#I did not include the screenshot since I had the alt text pulled from it and reading that text is often easier on the eyes than a photo
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during the last solas regret memory, when you choose the sad option (he loved her and blamed her) and rook says: "when the other gods struck her down, he destroyed the elven empire to avenge her," they seem to be looking right at lucanis. (who is also the next person to speak and seems to be meeting their gaze during that). there are some times when the staging of a scene makes me feel slightly unfairly rewarded for being a lucanis romancer haha. (or rather unfairly rewarded for having the kind of unhinged brain I do while being a lucanis romancer, maybe.) guess who pretty consistently gets to sit at rook's right hand in most of the scenes where everyone is at the dinner table too :) just little lucanis privileges
#rye 'I'm the birthday boy and I want lucanis to sit next to me...🥺 🥺🥺' ingellvar at the head of the table#rye looking at lucanis (newly romance confirmed) like '...yeah you know what. I kind of see where solas was coming from at least#not cool what he actually did about it and everything but I can understand the impulse'#apparently he's also always solas' fun little fakeout 'oh and btw your friend is dead too and it's basically your fault. have fun!' gift#when you get trapped in the prison of regret. I keep winning/losing that's *awful*!!!#AND he's one of the voices you can hear when the companions find rook after that. I love it. when he is There#so this is very good for me personally#aaaaah the delicious dramatic irony of rye being like 'I for one think there may be hope for solas yet we shouldn't give up on him! :)'#(with lucanis being like 'you don't think he'll betray us??' and rye going 'well what's a *little* betrayal between friends huh'#unfortunately. the betrayal will not be little. and all hope will have fled actually by the end of all this)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Y'know the thing about writing feral/unhinged versions of Orion/Optimus, is that you can't go too far into the feral/unhinged direction to a point where OP's core character traits are lost or become too diminished. After all, in a multiple-continuity franchise like TF, part of what makes the stories make sense is that even if details change (sometimes major details), the characters are still recognizably themselves to one degree or another. (Although this isn't always the case due to executive meddling or some characters being such blank slates from their initial G1 appearances that there's basically nothing to model them off of, but I digress.)
It's pretty much another reason why I love IDW1 Optimus, bc he literally is a canonical feral/unhinged Optimus who's unhinged as a direct consequence of who he is as a person and what he's been through. Like, he still has those fundamental character traits of trying his best to be moral and make good choices, trying to be a role model, etc, except after 4 million years of war and untreated depression he's basically holding onto his sense of self by his fingertips. So when he "goes feral" e.g. losing his temper and beating up/killing people or saying hurtful things, he's feral in a way that's directly tied to his normal personality and not just as a random quirk he has.
IDW OP's feral moments arise from the gaps between "Optimus' attempts to be who he thinks he needs to be" and "the reality of the world that he can't fix/seems to only make worse" that cause him to lose hope, or become cynical, or lose his temper. But in this case, the unhinged-ness makes perfect sense because it arises out of Optimus trying and failing to be the best person or to make the most morally good choices he's trying to make. Basically, the "feral/unhinged" label is just another way of me trying to say that he's not just unhinged because he's weird or because he's a bad person, but because it's an emotional reaction (more like an emotional explosion due to pent-up emotions) to the context he exists in.
I'd also say that IDW OP's personality being generally reserved/stoic and (trying to be) noble works in tandem with those moments he has of going feral because it makes him more realistic. His psyche is treated in a way where the writers are like, "Hey what if the pressure of having to be everyone's idol and be the best person in the galaxy at all times actually broke Optimus down mentally and emotionally?" It makes IDW OP far more relatable. Instead of naturally being a perfect Christ-like figure who never wavers in his morals or convictions and is just naturally a nice person who always has the wisest and best answer, being a good person is something that IDW OP has to consciously strive to be. Even when he feels like it's useless, or the cycle of violence will never stop, or any attempts he makes to help only ends up with things becoming worse.
And I feel like this does a service not only to IDW Optimus as a character, but also as a sort of moral/philosophical perspective for the reader to ponder upon? I feel like culture at large (or at least my experience of it) tends to believe that "goodness" in a person is simply an innate feature that people are born/not born with, and that being "good" means that you must be good at all times, both in your actions as well as the way you feel emotionally about yourself and the world. Like, there's a tendency for our vision of "a good person" to be good in every aspect at all times without having to try to be a good person. So I think IDW Optimus' character stands as a good example of how someone can be good at heart but still struggle to maintain those feelings of optimism and hope and justice. It's a good idea to have such a paragon of a character (in-universe and out-of-universe) be so conflicted and to even be mistaken, misguided, or make things worse because it shows that goodness is as much about "trying to behave/act in a way that is good" and not just "existing as an innately good person."
It's way more realistic for a person to want to be good, try to be good, and sometimes/often fail than it is for them to just be a good person. I enjoy the fact that IDW Optimus is both a good person at heart, but also has to strive to be a good person and live up to other people's expectations of what they see in him. I like how he wants to be a good person and change society for the better, but he also spends a good amount of time either feeling hopeless and alone or being angry at/detached from other people because of how frustrated they make him. He's realistically portrayed as someone who wants to be good and hopeful and change things for the better, but is also mentally and emotionally broken by that burden because of how impossible it is for him to Fix Everything and be the Perfect Prime/Leader/Autobot that people see him as. It's this fascinating mixture of "yes, this is who he is as a person" but also "there are things he desires to be that he could never possibly become or live up to."
This got really far off based from feral/unhinged Optimus sdklfjaslkdlfkas. The TLDR is that if people want unhinged OP, I feel like they should give IDW OP a chance because he IS unhinged but he's unhinged in a way that's a realistic/thematic representation of how being an Absolute Good is impossible. And how being a good person isn't just about Existing And You Are A Good Person, but rather goodness is a constant state of flux in which you adjust, you make mistakes, you lose your temper and feel hopeless, but then you pick yourself up and try again.
Also IDW OP really likes climbing in dangerous wilderness and jumping out of flying vehicles which I think is very feral and sexy of him to do.
#squiggposting#idw op love#idk if i adequately explained it in the body of the post. but i really do feel some kind of way about the idea of like#being a good person isn't about just being static. always being the same person. just naturally being good and nice all teh time#but rather being a good person will cause you to be CHALLENGED and being a good person calls you to ACT#and you WILL make mistakes. there's never a situation in which you're all wise and always have the right solution or are infinitely patient#but goodness is something you can CHOOSE something you can BECOME and you can still have negative emotions and CHOOSE to be good#like being a good person is a continuous process of self improvement. you aren't just born a good person#and i'm not trying to tear down the notion of 'goodness' or say it doesn't exist#rather i'm trying to say that it's far more comforting to hear that you don't have to be The Best Person at all times#it's comforting to know that good people aren't just Effortlessly Good because they were Just Born That Way Naturally#there certainly are some people like that but most of us aren't like that. and i just like idw op for that reason#he shows that like. you can be a fucked up mentally ill guy who despairs and loses his temper and is basically suicidal#but you also still genuinely try to be hopeful and try to help others. like you are good because you Try To Be Good#and you Try To Hold Onto Your Principles bc giving up or becoming evil isn't an option for you#but also trying to be A Good Person drives you fucking crazy bc we live in a universe where that perfect good simply isn't possible#so the result is an optimus who's at once Noble Paragon and Unhinged bc he's unhinged as a result of trying to be a paragon
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Idk I'm still not invested in the SF storyline, like I said before in another post, RAD always feels so barren because the lack of another "normal" students, you have the student council and the exchange students. The only "normal" student we have Is technically Mephistopheles, and since all of them are friends, there's really not a lot of conflict you can have without it feeling pointless. We know that since we have 7 wishes, every brother Is going to win a wish... I don't want to see Diavolo lose 7 times lmao
The next week we are going to the Celestial Realm (suposely, I don't think God will let them enter lol) so this lesson feels pretty much filler for the next week lesson, that *might* be more interesing idk
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#as right know. RAD is the weakest element in Obey Me. honestly I prefer storylines that don't focus on it tbh#the only time I enjoyed a RAD storyline was S1 and S4. in S4 at least the new trio were a little bitchy so it was an interesing dynamic#with S4 I mean the chapters that involve the trio. the council trials was the most nothing arc in OBM at least I think#my biggest hope is that at least (1) brother loses to keep thing fair. but I don't think it's going to happen#like this lesson they punished some demon but he doesn't have a name and it's basically resolved in the same bracket#why I'm supposed to caree
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Thinking about the Clive and Bill parallels again...
Both started with pretty average goals (gaining money / getting closure). Both became obsessed with said goals to the point of going through with their plans no matter the cost. Both became consumed by the desire to pursue a goal that isn't actually achievable (You can get more money but it will never feel like it's enough. You can lash out in anger but it won't make the anger go away). Both ended up killing innocents.
And yet.
Bill getting rid of his humanity in the hopes of getting money. Clive getting rid of his money in the hopes of getting his humanity back. Bill claiming he despises people like Clive when he has himself killed innocents for his own selfish plans. Clive claiming he hates politicians and scientists but still using science to build a mecha and politics to justify its use. Bill hiding everything, hiding from Claire that the machine isn't ready, hiding his crime from everyone. Clive exposing everything, exposing his secret base to Layton, exposing Bill and Dimitri's crime by his staging. Bill covering up the incident while Clive broadcasted his crime inside the fortress.
I don't know where I was going with this. Maybe that prime minister Bill looks like a honest citizen, just your regular Londoner really, while Clive is so obviously violent and destructive : and yet, Clive is the dove and Bill the hawk. Funny.
#In today's episode of 'Syl states the obvious' LOL#But yeah basically looks can be deceiving for them both I guess =)#This is once again a very simplified version. Hence why I don't go into too many details#Like Bill losing his humanity is the very moment he decided the risk was worth it. It's not even the explosion itself#Clive doesn't feel like a human because he's so alienated. He's ready to kill people. But he's hoping to get saved. Wrong actions ofc#It's actually so very important to me that Clive goes to jail but we aren't told a thing about Bill. Bill keeps everything a secret#Dimitri also has parallels with both. One day I'll write a good detailed analysis about these 3#clive dove#bill hawks#professor layton and the unwound future#professor layton and the lost future#unwound future spoilers#lost future spoilers#my analysis#This goes without saying but they're both assholes btw. Idc about the actual goals or characters they're both in the wrong and messed up
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i won this competition thing at school which was a surprise and i didn't really mean to or care for winning. but sure they liked my design. why not. they want to give me money. great. but now i have to deal with my deadname being plastered all over the place and i sent an email to the company (that chose my design that they're going to make and sell) like hey im going to be changing my name Very soon would it like. be possible to use the new name when talking about me :-) and they answered that it's not possible (i get it if it was for like legal reasons idk) but their wording was very... ??? 'you won the competition as *deadname* so it wouldn't be right to change it' im sorry what. what does it mean it wouldn't be right. what. why. I'd understand if they wouldn't change it for the booklet if they already have them printed out (i did ask if they do. they didn't answer), fair, i get it, that's your money. but they straight up have a whole paragraph on their website that talks about me that she/hers me extensively (i haven't discussed that with them yet i only learned about it yesterday. like bestie that can't be that hard to change). wtf is a mladá umělkyně I'll kill you
#i didn't expect to win at all because i wasn't at the final presentations of the works. Because i didn't want to be misgendered#the teacher who mainly deals with the company is a transphobic ass who hasn't correctly gendered me Once this entire year so#why 😭 i don't want to lose the money but im very much considering just not signing the contract with them#if they don't at least change/remove that thing from their website#this is a completely random very personal vent post about thing one thing that's stressing me out so much currently#i have no idea how things like this work tho so i basically have to trust them with everything they say and just hope#that it's really not possible for serious reasons and not just because someone at that company can't be bothered/is transphobic#I'll officially have a new name in.. possibly two weeks. the thing doesn't come out till may#my friends are like 'you have to deal with this!!! it's not fair“ like honey have you considered im stupid and scared of conflict
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If 'Resolutions' happened with Chakotay & Tuvok they would have made a beautiful home down there on that planet. It'd be Better Homes & Gardens material by the time they left. If it happened with Tuvok & Janeway it'd just be the captain running around barefoot chasing a monkey while Tuvok grew flowers and made comments about her not tracking dirt into the house after he just cleaned the floors.
#Chakotay & Tuvok basically get married down there but there's no discussion about this they just start acting like that#Meanwhile Janeway is just kind of slowly losing it while her surroundings get steadily cozier. How did you even make tea down here Tuvok???#Tuvok who spent all day gathering herbs and starting a fire etc etc: Easily.#By 'basically get married down there' I mean that Tuvok accepts their situation pretty much immediately contrary to Janeway and focuses#on long term comfort and survival with Chakotay#It's still sad - especially for Chakotay who thinks he'll never see Janeway again (incorrect: Harry came to her with a plan#and she said 'I like your attitude Mr. Kim!' so they're rushing to the vidiians) but they're surviving...maybe even living#mostly their deal is focused on learning to like one another interpersonally#Meanwhile Tuvok with Janeway is more just trying gently to get her to calm down (she feels extremely guilty that this happened -#that Tuvok's never gonna get to see his family again) and they talk in depth for maybe the first time about the very real possibility#that this is it for them - on Voyager they at least had hope...but maybe that hope was an illusion the entire time...maybe- Oh! Chakotay's#here!! We're saved!!!#Chakotay#Tuvok#Kathryn Janeway#st voyager#voy#out of the potential pairings who's having sex first?#Janeway is playing don't starve & Chakotay's playing harvest moon & Tuvok is playing like...oxygen not included
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WIP of a comic inspired by the mythic phrase "She used to be cool, she dressed up as an elf for our campaign"
#stranger things#jancy#current wip#From time to time I lose control of my life and start making heavy art#you didn't know me in my SNK era#at least this time I'm not sleep deprived#this one is purely Jancy <3#I'm hoping to finish it in around four days?#I don't work with a script so basically I'm fighting to not drop out of this project#At least I'm using those ink brushes I have had a year now hehe#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#mike wheeler#will byers#illustration#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art
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Thinking about TS!underswap again...
#sylvia started playing and seeing its liveblog is making me feel so fond#ts!chara i miss youuuuuuuu...#the day that game fully releases I'm gonna lose my shit#like. yeah so far i don't like anything to do w the flowey/tem and azzy/mk swaps but!!!! other than that!!!!#amazing music. wonderful area design. fantastic ocs. the only truly good au sans I've ever witnessed#(everyone is very in character and i like it. again ignoring the characters i have beef with)#and!!!! i adore how tsus chara basically feels like a baby kris. makes me feel so soft and warm#especially when they're hanging out w the other kids. seeing little catti and jockington made me so happy#i really hope we get to see suzy and noelle at some point. that koffin k drawing by suzy in koffin keep lives in my head rent free
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Is Death Note considered post-modern media
#genuinely asking bc i just watched a YouTube thingy about modern and post modern and then wtv comes next#metamodern or sthg?#but anyhoo it was basically saying modern stories were like kinda classic straight forward traditional values good guy wins bad guy loses#then post modern was kinda like#but WAIT what if there are no heroes or villains cynical sort of questioning or reversing the usual values and tropes and morals#and then the essay went on to say the next thingy is like. post modern but also trying to add a second more hopeful twist#after all the nihilistic deconstruction#???#DN def seems like the second category but idk#i went to art school and feel like i still don't know shit about this kinda stuff btw like it always went in one ear and out the other#the youtube video i watched was called Why Do Movies Feel So Different Now?#by thomas flight btw#p
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so we use these little packs of disposable travel toothbrushes that we can keep next to our bed and don't have to rinse after using them or anything because between executive dysfunction, sensory issues, and fatigue, this is basically the only way we can keep up with brushing our teeth regularly.
anyway, I realised we'd almost ran out and went to buy more and they suddenly aren't available anywhere. we'd get a pack of 24 for relatively cheap and now all I can seem to find are packs of 1 or 2 "travel toothbrushes" that are basically just normal toothbrushes for the same price as a pack of the ones we normally get. the brand that made them has nothing about them on its website besides a pack of 2 toothbrushes listed under the same name that aren't the same product.
so anyway now I need to figure out an alternative for the sake of actually being able to manage our dental hygiene because the one thing that was letting us do that somewhat adequately isn't available anymore
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#we've found a couple of places selling them but they're places that don't ship to the UK#and it would be way too expensive to use a proxy service for them#also we do have a normal toothbrush but we pretty much never use it because having to get up and stand at the sink is hell#and sometimes isn't an option at all certain symptoms flare up too badly#and that whole ''keep a cup of water next to your bed to rinse it in'' thing doesn't work well with our contamination OCD#also on a related note I'm trying to buy energy drinks (the things we're reliant on for managing our ADHD at this point)#and the delivery options are like... we can get them on the 11th-13th for £4.99 or on the 8th for £22.99 which feels ridiculous#but we only have 8 left so I guess I'm going with the cheaper option and I'm just gonna have to not have caffiene for maybe a few days#and hope we don't completely lose track of everything given how bad our ADHD has been even with caffeine lately#the bad ADHD is the reason I didn't get round to ordering more of them earlier in the first place. ugh#I hate trying to work around so many different medical issues that all make it so fucking hard to do basic shit
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which livery are you most excited for?
ferrari since it's my one true love and always has been (also because last year's launch was the best ever launch i have ever seen from any team ever, so the expectations are set high). other than that i'm curious about williams, because i love the blue color and i'm a SUCKER for the duracell sponsorship part of ther livery (they better keep it)
#who am i not looking forward to tho. hmmm. rbr bacause it's always the same and leaks hours before#same with haas basically except they tweak the colors but minus points for it only being pics posted online#i have a beef with mcl because they always prolong it with extreme e and formula e and indycar and what not liveries#and. idk. don't get me wrong while i appreciate other series as well (snd god knows sometimes i enjoy some mroe than f1)#you usually watch to see the car only (maybe the suits for new season too if you're lucky) but that's it#also speaking of mcl i expect them to look pretty much the same indy and formula e look like and i will laugh.#sorry to mcl fans but i will so laugh. both lando and oscar will look like curd left on the sun for a few hours in the orange highlighter#not you sam bird. you are perfect even in the orange and you know it.#also looking forward to merc it they show us the real car and not just livery which i expect from some like rbr and williams#also kinda aston because the green is also nice and i hope they tweak it a bit for this yead#did i forget some team???#oh wait fuck my alpha nemesis which both lose the alpha part huh#ok. looking forward to yuki and the name change announcement from at.#looking forward to guanyu and val and whatever livery the team whose name idk will bring us#that's it :))#ask#e
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i've determined i will probs never play minecraft again bc the sheer amount of content, while amazing, also is overwhelming to the highest degree but gameplay videos are highly enjoyable. also since finding creativerse it just hits better and terraria is like my happy (moddable) medium.
#plus since they introduced columns npcs block rotation AND painting i have been OBSESSED#like don't get me wrong Minecraft is a lot of fun but there's just SO MUCH#Terraria can be a bit overwhelming at times too especially bc i like it modded but even then i feel like there's less to it#maybe just a bit more emphasis on mob farming#ngl the devs hope to bring mods to creativerse but idk how plausible that is but is2g if they make it a reality i'll lose my shit#it's basically all that i feel is missing#the style/textures are wonderful and the variety of blocks/decor you can craft is unreal#plus being able to tame 99% of mobs is just???? chef's kiss#don't get me started on how they have wiring instead of redstone which means you don't need an acre to set up machines and TELEPORTERS#also similarly to Terraria you can transfer resources from one world to another??? you just have to unlock and craft the chest#there's also the fact that once you get the right npcs almost everything is renewable without having to terraform#one of them even multiplies the drops you get from tamed creatures#i would like to see more customization for the base character model but dressing my character like a witchy green chicken has been hilarious#in short all of them are amazing but creativerse just appeals to me most#oh! going back to the modding thing if they did introduce it i think with the right people the game could become a 3d terraria#which is a DREAM to me#though Terraria was on a whole other level with the bosses/random events#like the mechanical bosses stressed me the fuck out and wof when i was beginning#i don't think i even ever made it to plantera on my last long run roflmao or any of them tbh#blood moon and goblin invasion was always fun and good for money#hadn't quite figured out the stairs situation though so npcs could traverse up AND down but it's fine#Falling Apart And Coming Together
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Ok so I need to rework my Wendy skilltree concept because klei heard ppl complain abt the combat and went alright then time to completely rework combat but very slowly one update at a time so no one realizes until we straight up give Willow spells
#rat rambles#starve posting#this is abt the new dst beta btw willow and wigfrid are getting skill trees#now I have complicated feelings on parts of their skill trees but this is a beta so Im fully expected attempted improvements at least#<- this is mostly abt the beefalo stuff on wigfrid's since it just feels. so out of place with the rest of her skill tree#but burnie desperately needs better buffs especially since youre required to take a lot of them for the lunar and shadow branches#I also have some complicated feelings on the direction theyre taking the comabt but at the same time it is a necessary change#but at the same time one thats only necessary because of them deciding to take a more boss heavy approach to game progression#basically this is their attemtp to get out of a whole they dug themsleves in#which means that as time goes on dst is becoming less and less of a survival game#which some ppl might like but its still a bit disappointing for a game that caught my interest because of the survival elements#its not terrible tho it just means that the devs have decided upon a new direction for their game to give it more heavy story elements#most of my main issues have come from how clumsy the change has been and how it very much means we're losing the original feel of the game#but original don't starve still exists so its not like I think its the end of the world that theyre differenciating the two more#anyways since the devs are clearly trying to make actual combat classes a thing within dst I think this completely recontextualises things#as in I have to throw all of my past predictions and expectations out the window and look over everyone again taking thin into account#since now theyve shown that theyre fully willing to make completely new mechanics for these skill trees including straight up magic#which reminds me god I hope they dont give wendy spells or some shit#I really really REALLY want wendy's skilltree to mostly focus on abby buffs and sisturn buffs#because if they dont thatll just completely fuck over wendy's whole playstyle and I desperately dont want abby to become obsolete#I also need them to give the sisturn actually good buffs like for the love of god pls its only worth anything in super early game#at Least make the boosted abby regen a worldwide buff it wouldn't even be worth using most the time still but itd be Something#also god Im so scared for walter skill tree. please have it not fall into the same trap as his base kit of being too all over the place#the wigfrid beefalo branch is what makes me worried since thats a very concept over function thing already#same with like. most of wormwoods skill trees#tbf they fixed at lot of the weird wormwood stuff and hopefully they'll fix the weird wigfrid stuff too#most of willow's problems just come from the bernie skills being too weak which is especially funny cause previously burnie was the only#notable stength willow has pre tree#I mean tbf burnie has always been the weaker support between him and abby (imo) so its not like hes been like amazing anyways#but willow is just such a nothing character that burnie is basically why you use her
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fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good
#winston billions#the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but#actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things....#that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales#(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions)#(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on)#give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful#even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations#meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device]#being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real#AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character.#winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like#just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian#like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like#that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more#info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up#and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted#or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects]#winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character#rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation#and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal#well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot...#a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh]#and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it....#most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live#even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol#plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy#and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke#and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7#but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f
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