#So I have to see them processing death
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⚠️Fic Alert ⚠️
Seeing as a few people were hoping to see a scene of Carla and Betsy together after Mason's stabbing (as was I 😑), here's my interpretation of how that could've gone- with potentially more to come.
It does get heavy with the whole grief process so fair warning.
#swarla#carla connor#betsy swain#The parallels ate me alive#So I have to see them processing death#The lil record skip to Betsy offering to shell out for surgery is what did it#So many chances for these two to bond properly but its not ONSCREEN#Carla could be a fucking stellar extra mother to this kid#Her mini-me in too many ways it actually startles me#Also no sight of Lisa doing the emotional stuff with Betsy cause she hasn't reorganised the priorities that far yet#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#writing#missing scene#Angst#This gets heavy#coronation street
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Odysseus: demanding Athena take off whatever enchantment she put on him the second the situation ends.
Odysseus: who constantly reminds Athena that he has great plans to grow old and die with his wife so don't even think about getting any ideas.
Odysseus: side eye diomedes who has started fucking glowing he has so many enchantments on him: bro you should talk to Athena about getting those removed. You're going to end up immortal or some shit
Diomedes: who has been a solider since he was 5 who has intersting thoughts about his own personhood who has a much more traditional relationship with Athena and would rather literally stab his own eye out with a rusted sword than speak out of turn: I don't know what you're talking about
#odysseus#Diomedes#Athena#This is more pulling from my own headcanons than any source material#But I have a lot of feelings about the narritive physically changing a character and how well that works with the idea that#Becoming immortal is a slow process more of a slide than an abrupt change#And I have a lot of feelings about diomedes becoming immortal and how odysseus only ever wanted to be a man#And how diomedes was having a much more mortal experience and odysseus experiencing so much magic and monsters and gods#And how every step of the way diomedes only ever politely thanks Athena never argues only does his duty#And how nearly everything odysseus met tried to change him or keep him and how he fought against that with his whole being#Also a lot of feelings about the traditional reward for heros was immortality#This obviously does not include all the times Athena treated odysseus like a barbie doll because ody was 98% not aware of that#Athena post the whole ajax going insane thing: that was fun#Odysseus: great yah super fucking fun love when my allies go mad with desires to torture me to death BTW#Take off the invisibility spell I want nobody trace of it lingering on me I am remaining mortal if it kills me#Athena: definitely not pouting you're no fun one little spell isn't going to permanently alter you#Odysseus: I am not taking any chances any invisibility I have is going to be my own fucking skill and your excellent training not magic#Diomedes: internally:after getting the ability to see through illusions and see gods#Should I mention this to Pallas Athena? Did she mean for me to keep it? Is it bad if I keep using it?#Is it even more disrespectful to not use it? Surely she is aware that I still have this? Surely it would be an insult to her intelligence#To remind her that would be casting doubt on her memory and perhaps it is part of a plan and#Who am I to question pallas athenas plans who am I but her devout weapon better to not mention it or any of the other lingering magics#Diomedes realizing a hundred years after the fact that he is in fact immortal: ....should I mention this?#Athena finds it funny to try to sneak magic onto odysseus it's a game for them because their both rat bastards#But not post odyssey it's just triggering then#Actual child solider diomedes#Greek myths
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20Nov24
The thing that could always bring gladness Will now surely always bring sadness. Four men in black dress Laid their brother to rest. Liam’s gone? What the fuck is this madness?
#liam payne#rest in peace liam#tw liam's death#my brain is entirely disinterested in processing his death#i've made no progress — it's still october 15 and he's still alive#still can't listen to 1D#the funeral coverage seemed very sanctioned#it was kind of his family to let fans in on the grief#i hope they've had a lot of time to grieve privately#i was so moved all four were there#and that they seem to have orchestrated a unified front in terms of displays of mourning#giving the media just enough to write the headlines#but not turning it into a 'reunion' spectacle#what's hitting me hard is seeing them dressed in their funeral blacks#i fell hard for 1D with their performance of through the dark on snl#i didn't know anything about them before that#and seeing these five men in svelte black suits was so contrary to what i imagined them to be#(well — four were svelte. louis was straight up slutty.)#and their funeral attire takes me back to that moment#but 'through the dark' plays in my head like a dirge now#will it ever not be hard?#hope y'all are all ok#liam's funeral
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#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#shaunanat#shorccio#jackienat#taylorccio#jackieshauna#shackie#jackieshaunanat#shauna x nat#jackie x nat#jackie x shauna#yellowjackets#*#i’m obsessed with this moment. earlier in the episode we see nat sitting outside just staring at jackie’s bones. she’s clearly been thinkin#this over. that they can’t just leave her there. a visual reminder of what they did. making them all feel sick#that jackie deserved better. that in death. even now that she’s just bones. she deserves a burial or something. and nat takes initiative.#comes up with a plan and shares it with the group. but even then she looks to shauna for permission or maybe reassurance? maybe it’s out of#respect. they all remember how shauna reacted when it was initially suggested they get rid of jackie’s body. this is hard on all of them#jackie’s death and what they did. but they all know it’s affecting shauna the most.#maybe nat is even hoping shauna will want to help or that someone else besides natalie is feeling the way she is. that she won’t have to do#this alone. that someone else wants to honor jackie or feels as sick as she does about it. and they clearly do!! so many of them feel that.#i mean maybe only shauna and taissa are feeling it as strongly as she does? but shauna is kind of in shock and sick with guilt and grief an#in no place to meet nat half way here. she’s retreating into herself. and tai doesn’t even remember eating jackie. think she’s still#processing that it even happened. that they all aren’t lying to her. and also dealing with the knowledge that she’s having memory gaps.#dissociating. so nobody that is present there with natalie is feeling the way she is. lottie seems to think it was necessary for their#survival (probably true and nat even tells jackie’s bones as much.) but lottie doesn’t seem to be feeling guilty and when she takes a mug#out to natalie while she’s wrapping the bones. nat seems angry at the way lottie is handling it. and travis offers to go with her but it#reads to me like he is worried about nat specifically and not that he’s feeling that bad about what happened. i think nat is just feeling s#alone in this episode. and the one person that gets that is shauna but she’s just not in an actionable state. just tells nat to take the
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#'sorry for barging' anon#sorry gonna answer this in the tags since it's such a loaded topic#but yeah exactly- i think a lot of it comes down to people wanting them to perform their (very real) grief for an audience#and getting mad when they don't. which is wildly unfair and unrealistic and just... extremely entitled#and very much coming from a lack of understanding of grief and that it's not a perpetual state of uncontrollable crying#a massive part of grief is continuing living with all its up and down moments with a new heavy weight in the background#living in a perpetual state of sobs is not something any human can sustain. it involves adapting and continuing to live.#and that involves doing regular everyday things AND experiencing happy moments still. that does not mean you aren't still suffering.#to question whether they're 'truly' grieving is.... kinda evil and completely ridiculous lmao#and shows a massive lack of basic empathy and understanding of how human emotions work#we see less than 1 percent of their lives. to actually feel like you have the ability to judge someone's grieving process in general#is wild and weird but especially when you literally have seen nearly none of their lives in the past few months#i'm sure all of us have laughed and seen a friend and had other happy moments since october#that doesn't mean we do not miss liam and that we aren't devastatingly sad at other points.#and to somehow think that zouis reconnecting and being happy about it after such a tragic event would be somehow anti-liam is insane#i've even seen people judge zayn for not cancelling his entire tour which is so.....#if they for a second think that liam would have been petty enough to enjoy the idea of all of his friends stopping in their tracks forever#they clearly didn't really know him since he was clearly always SO supportive of everyone in 1d#and probably would have been very happy to see zayn and louis mend their relationship#it feels like a very weird way to make a fucking death and real life grief from his friends into a stan war which is......... beyond gross
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hiashi dying for neji, and hinata by proxy, is so much better than neji’s canonical death for several reasons but thematically it would go so fucking hard for him to sacrifice himself for both a member of the branch family and the daughter he originally deemed worthless
#thinking about naruto on the job as always#to me this is the ultimate hiashi redemption. best way to show his growth#this has the added benefit of leaving hinata and neji with some very weird feelings to grapple with!#hiashi looks at his daughter and goes ‘you’ve become a fine shinobi. i was wrong about you.’ maybe possibly names neji clan head. he dies.#what does that leave hinata and neji feeling! they hated this man for such a long time and then he does All This??? that’s a lot to process#because he treated them so badly before and now he proves his growth and love for them and leaves#deeply tempting to write this#cause the falllout afterward with the elders would also be crazy#i know that old man is having a conniption in the corner cursing at his sons’ graves#insane to me btw that that shitty ass lord elder we keep seeing during hizashi’s death is NEJI’S GRANDFATHER!!! HIZASHI’S DAD#like my guy whst is going on there???
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i choked up soooo bad watching new hotd. jace visibly starting to cry giving rhaenyra his mission report but he called her "your grace" bc he's trying to be a good brave man and she hugged him and he couldn't even finish his sentence. and then him holding joffrey while they threw the little toy horse onto the fire bc luke really was just a little boy!! and it was the horse we saw in the scene from "driftmark" where he said he didn't want to be lord of the tides bc that would mean everyone else was dead!! all he had was his little clothes and his little toy bc he was killed too soon to get even a fancy nice dagger from corlys
#Really good acting from Jace's actor. Very important to see Rhaenyra processing her son's death but ALSO#Imo it's so hard to be a young adult and lose a sibling. And you don't see that very much in fiction I feel like?#That feeling especially that you have to keep it together and be strong for your parents bc you don't want them to deal w your grief too#Just reminded me a lot of losing my brother and I related a lot. Very good scenes#House of the Dragon
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Oklahoma! (1955) is a WILD watch. some lovely ballet though
#i saw a high school production of it when i was a kid and i mostly only remember the peddler who i thought was hilarious#and then i played in a pit orchestra for it in high school so i didn't *really* know what was going on#heard half the lines but couldn't see anything#so this is definitely A Time!#apparently this lady thinks this guy is scary because he looks at porn. and then she steals his carriage & horses leaving him stranded#^^ unfair summary sorry he did also confess his love and hug her#she couldn't possibly have turned him down and asked to be dropped off! she's a scared helpless woman you see#oh she also almost killed them both in the process! wow can't believe he made her do that by scaring her by hugging her#after she agreed to go to a dance with him and he perhaps had reason to think she was interested#she literally didn't once try out the word 'no'. she went straight for risking everyone's death#why did she say yes to going to the dance? so glad you asked. to make her crush jealous#also said crush went to the guy's cabin to tell him it'd be cool if he killed himself. it sounds like i'm exaggerating doesn't it#incredibly the woman and her crush are the protagonists#we're not even going to comment on Ado Annie. i don't have time for a dissertation#(
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rewatching the fool's gold campaign for the first time in a while and god abby makes me mad. grrrrr she makes me so mad (love her)
#random thoughts#when she was shocked i thought it was because erina was celebrating violence by chucking the body into the crowd#which like. fair!#but nooooo she's like 'you should have arrested her not murdered her' 'you're just as bad for lowering yourself to her level'#okay you fucking liberal#'they go low we go high' she killed tens of people#and she had spider powers#and she was the literal queen kind of hard to due process the queen#listen irl the death penalty is immoral because all lives are valuable#and there is no such thing as true evil whatever BUT#beauclaire was literally pure evil. she went straight to poisoning people#also i hate it in stories when a character is like 'you're just as bad as them for killing people' 'take the high road' but they don't like.#do anything??? like amata from fallout 3#also BEAUCLAIRE FUCKING KILLED ERINA'S PARENTS??? AND COLONIZED HER HOMELAND???#abby's judging from the sidelines like sure easy to take the moral high ground when you don't have to make the hard decisions#like god i love this genre of character. the female character who you're obviously supposed to see as morally good narratively#but she's actually kind of the worst? i literally never see this done with male characters#not main tagging this because god i love fool's gold. it's so good. this is just a pet peeve
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Everyday I look at my nuggets and go maybe I should let my gay men get bitches. And then I make more nugget yuri instead
#rat rambles#oc posting#look most of my men likers are either not interested in dating dont exist in close enough proximity to a man or are women#so its a situation where the gay guys in the crowd just dont have any options that interest me much#I try to only do nugget romance when it rly interests me enough since most of them are work friends at best#not counting the extraction team we dont talk abt them#so generally the romance shit in this facility is limited to my og yuri warriors the polycule of lets beat eachother to death and the#obligatory extremely toxic yuri#oh wait and the token straight ppl I always forget theyre technically a romance since they take forever to actually start dating#they could be yaoi if I believed in emma hard enough but I don't believe in her#theyre not actually straight to be clear theyre my diversity hires who transed their genders behind my back#aka I looked at emma and realized yeah no youre not a woman#I dont know what her gender situation is exactly but shes def some flavor of transmasc#but idk I'm thinking on it more now and tbh she could have it in her to be a gay man#like maybe in lor she sees chesed and goes ohhhhh. god damnit.#either way I definitely think she hates the process of realizing at every step because she finds it embarrassing it took this long#which its not to be clear but she would still get very self conscious abt it especially since shes been surrounded by trans ppl for so long
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Linktober Shadow Day 6
Shadow Beast
The Twilight Princess fan in me really came out on this one huh? I blame the sleep deprivation. We never quite addressed the effects of the Twili Magic on Twilight and how it's only sheer force of will and the fact he's so darn kind, Midna's influence and Time teaching him the Song of Healing first being the main factor in making sure he doesn't fall huh? Even more so than the One Cutscene. We also need to talk more about the fact we technically kill Midna's people and how by the end of it all Twi is so changed by the Twilight Realm who's it's own can of worms that, much like Time he can't quite go home as himself me thinks, as a treat to myself
Mostly Twilight x Reader, this goes out to all of the folks who never quite recovered from Twilight Princess and the fact we never got that sequel (I mean it gave us BOTW and TOTK and Wild, but at what cost?), but can be read as Link x Reader either on the platonic or romantic.
Don't think there's any warning this time but might edit later if needed.
Actually yeah there is one warning
TW:
References to body horror typical to Twilight Princess, though I recommend not reading it I'd you're squeamish period.
Even after so long, you and Twilight could still remember the beauty and solemnity of the Twilight Realm, with it’s zircon skies with clouds of trapped fire and rains of viper obsidian.
The silence of the infection upon the realm of light broken only by the echoes of the howling elegy of the Twili and Interlopers who came before creeping over the land like rot and wither over flowers, the lament of the lost spirits of the people and animals of Hyrule falling over your spirit like a shroud, a shared hymm from two worlds reality had been twisted, only both of it’s princess, one filled the luster of empyreal sorrow in her mind and one with the scorch abyssal fury in her heart knowing to see the reflective tragedy befallen to their people. With Link as the one who restored the memory of what once was in both worlds as divinity and calamity sang in his bones and you a witness to the restoration of harmony to the discordant symphony, the two different songs of light and shadow refusing to let go of either of you in an eternal duet.
(Once touched by magic, it shall never leave the one if holds onto Twilight may have been the one with the Beast in his soul, with the howl of a wolf, the bite of shades in his veins and the lament of innocents taking precedence over anything purely because he learned how to silence the whispers of the one’s who made a grab for heaven’s throat and we’re pushed in the cracks of reality for their prideful vánitas even as he could taste it in the back of his tongue, twining around his ribs and overgrowing into his shattered mirror heart like vines, flowering with the divinity and eternal nature of the Hero’s Spirit, already having the hunt of the Fierce Deity in it’s veins and the remains of cursed divinity welcoming the new aspect merrily so he could bear it. The song of the innocent wrongly punished among the sinners rang into your mind, scratched at your skin and dug it’s claws around your throat, chocking you with sorrow and regret, more willing to leave gouges than to let go of someone’s who’s looked into the reverse side of the sacred realm and wept with grief for it’s people and the curse of it’s beauty.
It would never leave you, Link or Zelda, who learned who love the darkness the way Midna did, madness and unsightly delight and all.)
While the people of Hyrule merely became trapped as observers at best, if they were lucky, Midna’s raging grief and resentment quickly became obvious, once she revealed that rotten Zant had done to her and her people, twisted into a new form, distorted in body and trapped in mind like the animals and beasts of Hyrule, their pain driving them in becoming feral attack hounds for the usurper, their howling screams as much sorrow, wailing in an attempt to let their agonized, tortured souls to escape from it’s mouth, a futile attempt to flee from the strain of reality forgetting their true form in favor of Zant’s twisted design, of being used as sentient canvases for cruelty and ruthlessness, of their will being stepped over in favor of corrupting recreation.
Of how it only didn’t quaff down at Midna’s mind because of the nature of her ephemerality, fully beloved by the Realm of Darkness, of how she loathed him for it and wouldn’t wish her fate of that of her people’s on any living or dead soul, once she came to love the Realm of Light through Zelda’s sacrifice.
Which was why, when you saw three of the victims of the telltale twisting from darkness utilized with the intent to drive one insane, a familiar looking plate of stone engraved on the remains of ashes from their identity, the curling of distorted, solid darkness making crooked mishapen manes, bent out of shape from their too long torso and long, long arms adorned with twitching, deformed claws, you feel very justified in way your blood froze, holding onto Wild’s arms and yanking with all you had so his shot will miss, his yelp of surprise swallowed by the bone cracking, blood curdling screech from one of the beasts as a Skyward Strike grazed it’s petrified flesh.
You feel something warm drip down your ears, taste the promise of violence and the cry of lost souls on the back of your tongue and swallow it down as the memory of the Twilight Realm attempted to bite and crack your ribcage to quaff down your heart, to devour it bones and all, calling out in desperation, “Don’t! That’s a person!”
Sky freezes, as still as a statue, Legend curses the heavens crimson in a way you are so glad Wind isn’t around to hear as he retreats Twilight snarls, the wolf in him revolted and disgusted, you wonder if the Twilight is singing in his mind too as he restrains himself from reaching for the crystal as nails just a tad too sharp invite droplets of blood to one hand, grimm as a graveyard “We need to get them together anyway, felling just one won’t be enough.”
You grimace, releasing Wild, keeping your eye on the Shadow Beasts and another on your group, pointedly not mentioning the twitch in Four, amethyst clouding his gaze and the prism of his eyes turning gray with memories you and Twilight both knew all too well, of the grimace in Time’s otherwise stony countenance, you’d wished to avoid bloodshed of whoever was turned against their will, but you and Twilight both knew that might not be possible, death, unfortunately, might be the greatest mercy you can grant these poor souls.
(The Twilight is harmonizing in your ears, jeering, you feel the Interlopers insanity and the Twili’s lament on your teeth. As lovely as it could be cruel, the merry feeling upon meeting, the sorrow at a parting.
If you ever see the Shadow, you might just try indulging the echo by offering it’s blood as tribute. You'd make it hurt. The fact it learned the spell used to deform reality in such a way was cruel and vile.)
“Legend, how is your magic?” shoots Warriors, analyzing, calculating, it snaps the purple back into Four’s gaze, brings his mind back to focus as he reaches into his inventory for his Moon Pearl, Twilight is circling the beasts with single minded purpose, herding them together and prowling as he would as a wolf, Wild thankfully listened to your warning and had switched from the more destructive Flame and Lightning Arrows to ice ones. It doesn’t contain them for long but it gives a few precious seconds to strategize.
Legend catches on, switching to the Ice Rod on one hand and grasping his own Moon Pearl with the other, Sky has another Skyward Strike ready, but doesn’t release it, you switch from your sword to accepting a Magic Rod tossed at you from Wild, “Good enough.”
You breath in shakily, the symphony of the Twilight Realm has quieted, more lament than anthem as it’s Hero steps back, returning to your side, he nods grimly, “... Then, let’s end this quickly.”
You know your will boys will do their best to heal them, and failing that, you hope that they’ll hear the requiem of the Twili rather than the lament once they’re at peace, that they'll find some form of threnody.
It is a horrible thing, to be forced to die as a beast.
#linked universe x reader#linked universe twilight x reader#We really need to talk more about how the Twilight Realm sticks with Twilight and how it's magic never really leaves him#Heck I also want to know what it was like learning to turn into a wolf on his own. I bet that it was quite the process#friendly reminder that Time Twilight Midna and her people can all shake hands over identity and technical body horror#And how the Twilight Realm also likely has it's form of sentience due to the duality of both people like the Interlopers and the Twili#Something something how the difference between light magic dark magic is more about how willing much each reality changes you#and how Twilight more than anything and anyone who was with him on his journey would embody that fine line#Also the conflict between not wanting to kill the people that remind you of your old friend and the echoes all you have left of her realm#and knowing that their fate is so darn awful that death is a mercy#The reason Reader sees the Twilight as they do is because the dark magic latched onto them via association and Twilight's fondness#Maybe I'll elaborate on that later idk lol#Also the reason Dark Link knows the curse Zant used is both because of his nature and a reference to the TP Manga if you know you know#Hero's Shade mauls Zant in it. It's arguably the best thing in any manga I am begging any people who like Twilight and TP to go read it#summer writes linktober shadow 2023#summer writes#I could go on an entire essay about the relationship between the Realm of Darkness in each game and the Realm of Light and magic in loz#but I doubt anyone would want to hear about it lol
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I feel like I don't talk enough about how much I love Key but things like this especially make me love him so much more. I really really love how matter of fact and real he is about Jonghyun and his own grief
#bc i feel like he's a lot like me with how i process things too#i hope saying none of this sounds bad with the context of things the members have had to go through right after his death#bc i have purposefully kind of avoided that era. i am also talking about key's letter to jjong after he died and i just love how key loves#i feel like i am being repetitive but i just really love how honest he is#i also think all of the time stuff in kpop that i see that i know in my bones jonghyun would hate#but i also really really love how key is seeing it like he is beside of them always like i know that without them saying but hearing it <3#and not only to sad post but i feel like shinee have been so happy these days!! these concerts have been the culmination of it but lately...#...they all have a different energy like they're really happy and onew especially the fresh start seems so good for him!!!#shinee
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Hi! 10 or 35 for the Rook story time prompts?
omfg hi, thank you so much for the prompts! i love all the stuff you've been posting btw
i went into this with the intention of doing both, but uh. the first one got away from me, so we'll go with that i guess! cw for referenced child death.
Rook Story Time - 10. Rook attending a funeral.
The scent of incense sticks to the roof of Simonetta's mouth.
She's spent enough mornings half-dozing through regular services that the heavy, strangely sweet smelling smoke is already familiar to her, but she's never had to put up with it for as long as she is today. And with every passing moment stuck in place while the chanting drones on, she can feel it snaking its way around her, embedding itself into her clothes, her hair.
A wall of taller mourners blocks her view of the real ceremony ahead, Viago at her side. Whose funeral is this in the first place? Did she ever know the answer to that question? A Crow, presumably; the rest of the chantry is packed with other Crows, solemn but strangely detached. The turnout tells her it must be an important one, but boxed in here with no view and nothing but perfumed air and disembodied voices for company, it doesn't matter.
Maybe if she closes her eyes she can fill in the gaps left by the bodies around her with her own imagination. At first she tries her hand at inventing a corpse to fill the urn: a daring, handsome Crow who died an honorable death, taking his final contract down with him. Someone worthy of all of this ceremony. It leaves her cold, and her imagination narrows into something smaller, something more real. She finds herself dreaming of the older fledgling who had gently corrected her stance the first time she held a practice foil in her hand.
An elven girl with a gentle smile and seemingly endless patience, one who was easily six, seven years older, surely with better things to do than take a skin and bones urchin freshly dragged in off the street under her wing. But there she was, not a thought for concepts like rivalry or pride, an anchor for a child who felt herself already going adrift. Until-
The chantry air is cloying and thick in her lungs.
It happened without commotion, without explanation. Just the day before she had been trailing behind her like a shadow in the courtyard, and now...nothing. Not even her questions were being answered, just met with a mixture of pitying glances and hard stares, if they were acknowledged at all. All she had to cling to were a few overheard whispers, snippets she caught whenever someone didn't think to look out for tiny ears.
"Should have known to look out for-"
"Bound to lose a few with every crop."
"...Would have happened eventually, that one was always..."
"What a waste."
Her parents were gone before she was old enough to remember their faces, let alone their deaths. They existed, hazy and incorporeal, in idle imagination and nowhere else. Death until that moment had been an abstract: something to be mastered and harnessed in the service of a still far-off future. Not something that happened to the people around you.
She remembers the way she had clung to herself in a hidden corner of the training grounds, the dread she felt at the thought of being caught crying while everyone around her carried on. The way she had swallowed long gasps of air to push the tears down to the pit of her stomach, down where she could build a fragile, shaky dam-
She is brought back to herself by the back of a hand nudging her shoulder; Viago is motioning that it's time to go. She is on her feet before he can vocalize the command. Outside in the sunlight, where the air is no longer too thick to breathe and smells of bright, inviting things, she inhales a long breath and swallows it.
Rook can't put her finger on why, years later, watching pyre smoke build past the roofs of the highest buildings in Treviso, these are the memories her mind calls forth, but wistful is the only word she can find for what she feels. She envies the child who could bring her tears to the surface so easily. But the dam is complete now, and she finds that no matter how hard she tries, all she can manage are the breaths.
The scent of burning wood sticks to the roof of her mouth.
#hyperions-light#simonetta de riva#rook de riva#datv#i had never really thought much about crows and funerals but the more i turned it over in my mind the more it compelled me#obviously we see two instances of funeral practices in canon but those are both for extremely important crows. which#begs the question. if what we've been told about the training process is accurate crows are dying constantly right.#so how do they handle funerals for like. fledglings. low ranking assassins even. do they have them for each one individually#or do they do something else instead. no matter what i'm sure they're encouraged to distance themselves emotionally#imagine being practically an embodiment of death but having to maintain a hands off relationship with#any of the social rituals associated with its aftermath. fucked up#anyway!#sorry for the tag essay feel free to ignore. thank you again!
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I did it. I finally found my middle name. I've been set on what I'll change my first and last name to for years now, but I was tossing around different middle names still, and it's been one of the things that's kept legally changing my name as not a priority. But I've finally connected to a middle name and I'm kinda itching to finally make it offical offical now. So think it's becoming more of a priority at long last.
#Maybe I'll finally do it next year#will have to see. Been waiting for all the formal forms surrounding like#fathers death inheritance stuff to process#but i wonder if it truly matters???#Not sure how tha works. May be like that I need to send the change of name docs to them as like a hey just so you know!#Is something ill have to do for a lot of legal things#Like centrelink and my bank accounts and rentals and so on hm#Its the other reason ive not done it yet but im more egar to figure ut out now so#If only I could find sone finacial help for it and like someone whos done it before and knows how it all works pft#Its alright. Not the first time ive had to figure stressful legal shit out on my own like this. And certainly wont be the last. Pft#aceofdragons
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I'm so normal over Ayame Hatano guys trust me-
#FINALLY I CAN POV SWITCH BACK TO HER#Writing Kizuna's grief process over Kanata's death has been fun but GOD i missed writing Ayame#it's been so long#sorta unrelated but i was curious and counted how many chapters so far have who's pov#and out of the 19 chapters finished so far (one of which hasn't been posted yet) there have been#4 chapters where both characters had the POV at some point. 4 Ayame chapters and 11 Kizuna chapters#which is kinda crazy like#i knew there were more Kizuna POV chapters but i didn't realize there were so many-#not that I'm trying to have them have the same number of POV chapters tho#i give the POV to whom i see fit for what i want to show at the moment#dra -2+2#ayame hatano#hyena ramblings
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SPECIAL HEADCANON I’VE BEEN WORKING ON which i may or may not write a future drabble about, but for now, just a simple post will do since i’ve been developing these with some dear writing partners of mine. to put it simply, since i’ll also be integrating this from hereon, my aether has a lowkey god complex when it comes to his (im)mortality.
as i’ve stated in a lot of other headcanon posts, he isn’t human; he’s a star-forged deity, a caeling. this means that his species is meant to live for billions of years, just like real stars would. he and lumine are quite young in comparison to other caelings, being around three thousand years old each. they are (or, well, were) known to be all-powerful, controlling cosmic elements and what have you, loved and respected by the astros above in the sea of stars, the prime of fighters and universe’s willmakers. therefore, having battle scratches or getting hurt was a luxury they’d experience once in a thousand years.
ever since falling in teyvat, aether lost his wings, his divinity, his strength, his ability to communicate with the stars, as well as his connection with lumine—he knows all of that, and he grieves deeply, for he feels those losses in his very core. but he doesn’t realise that, since he’s bound in teyvat by its laws and concepts, his very being bends to them. he’s stronger than most, sure, but that doesn’t mean he’s much more resistant than a regular vision holder human. and he refuses to see that (perhaps because he doesn’t sense it immediately). he bleeds a black, thick type of blood—yet because he has never been injured that badly before, it’s unconceivable to him to even consider that that blood on his hands is his. death doesn’t come easily as a concept to him either—others can die, it’s life’s natural cycle for humans and mortals alike, but him and lumine? no. that can’t be… right? so even if his vision is blurry and he’s dizzy, feeling his energy wearing out, he won’t ever think that there’s any actual danger to himself. he’s a warrior. he was designed for this. to fight, to protect, to serve. he can’t lose this, too.
#death /#𓆩✦𓆪 ㅤ: ㅤ❛ㅤ𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 / character notes.#aether is so used to NOT being affected by sickness and/or powerlessness that he doesnt think those things apply to him#he'll legit have a spear in his chest and look so confused as to why there's a “black goo” coming out of him#he has never seen that. he has never experienced that for himself or lumine#it's an absurd concept#so it's one of the reasons as to why he may sometimes be so reckless and impulsive if he deems right#although he admires mortals and humans he's used to being the 'outlander'; the 'different one'. how can he be then so similar to them#when it comes to vulnerability and mortality?#it's wild to believe that he could ever belong anywhere. as in. a physical material world.#because the stars (who are kinda bitches in my lore) made him believe that his and lumine's destinies were to wander forever#never home. never resting. never finding anything to consider 'theirs'. they're just order-keepers; travellers; doers.#not meant for kindness or love or homes. and he has ingrained that thought process in his head even if he tries to deny it#he wants very badly to belong. to be as close as a human as a he can be.#but he rly doesnt see that as being possible#sighs in love this got so long DAKSDJG i love aether genshinimpact
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