#apparently this lady thinks this guy is scary because he looks at porn. and then she steals his carriage & horses leaving him stranded

[hippo-pot]

Oklahoma! (1955) is a WILD watch. some lovely ballet though

[tokumusume]

tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:

There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~

Best Movies:

1.      Parasite

Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.

2.      The Witch Part 1 The Subversion

This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.

3.      Death Trance

Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights

4.      Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken

The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.

5.      Kingdom

While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.

6.      Bravestorm

A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.

7.      Twelve Suicidal Children

What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.

8.      Gakkou Gurashi

Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.

9.      Forest of Love

I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.

10.  The Host

After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.

11.  The Hungry Lion

A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.

12.  Cromartie High

A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.

Honorable Mentions:

1.      River’s Edge

Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.

2.      The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.

3.      Ano ko no, Toriko

Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?

4.      Monstrum

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.

5.      Weirdo Go

I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.

6.      Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi

Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.

7.      Tomodachi Game: The Final

The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.

8.     The Living Dead

Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.

9.      Backstreet Girls

Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.

Best Dramas:

1.      The Untamed

Do I need to say more?

2.      The Tale of Nokdu

This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.

3.      The Naked Director

Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.

4.      Channel wa Sonomama!

I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.

5.      SCAMS

Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.

Worst Movies and Dramas:

1.      The cat in their arms

The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.

2.      Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?

3.      Samurai Marathon

Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.

4.      Lady Vengeance

While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.

5.      Hot Gimmick

This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.

6.      The Divine Fury

While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…

[demonsonthemoon]

We Shall Rule - Chapter 10

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics Pairings: Platonic Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Kate Bishop/America Chavez Word Count: 6128 Note: This chapter has porn! And is really long! Apologies that it took so long to post!

Also available on AO3.

“Hey, Clint, move your butt! Some of us are actually watching this movie!”

Bucky smiled as Clint put out his tongue towards Kate, who was leaning against America.

“Aah,” Clint sighed. “To be abused this way when I bear offerings of pizza. What has the world come to?”

“Don't throw me in with the lot of them!” Bucky pointed at Kate and her girlfriend. “I'm totally fine with looking at your butt.”

Clint grinned, and gave a shake of his hips right in front of the television, ignoring Kate's heckling.

America took the opportunity to take one of the pizza boxes from the coffee table. Clint then opened the second one, took out two plates and put a slice of pizza on each, handing one to Bucky.

“Because some of us are civilized,” he pointed out as Kate and America began eating directly from the box.

The couch was too small for four people to sit comfortably, and there was a comfortable armchair next to it, but Clint sat down on the couch's armrest instead, raising an eyebrow at Bucky to check whether he was fine with the close contact. He nodded, and they went back to watching Mad Max: Fury Road, commenting on the movie more than talking between themselves.

“So, what did you think?” America asked Kate with a grin.

“Yeah, okay,” she admitted. “It was really good. Thank you, O wise one, for educating me in all things cinematographic.”

“Heck yeah!” America exclaimed, putting her fist up in the air. Kate rolled her eyes at her in a fond way, before kissing her on the cheek.

The two of them were always like that, easily affectionate. Bucky looked at them and felt warm. They seemed to live in each other's space nearly as one being. Meanwhile, Clint was rolling his eyes at them and repeating his orders not to be gross on his couch. Despite his protests, he was fond of the couple, as proven by the fact that he kept inviting them over, or at least not kicking them out when they invited themselves.

Bucky had somehow fitted right in with their group, at least in Kate and America's eyes, and they had started teasing him when their first shared movie night hadn't even been over.

“And you Bucky?” America asked. “What' you think?” It was notorious that when America picked a movie, not liking it was a danger, as the woman was ready to debate the value of any of her favorites for hours on end. But Bucky didn't have to pretend in this case.

“I had seen it already, actually. I love it.” He raised his left hand, the joint of his prosthetic wrist clearly visible where his sleeve had ridden up. “And it's relatable.”

America laughed easily. “You too would drive an oil tank through the desert to save some innocent women?”

Bucky shrugged. “I've seen my fair share of desert, but when it's for a pretty lady...”

They chatted some more as they ate another pizza and Kate and America finished their beers, then the couple left. It was still rather early, so Bucky took the time to help Clint clean up.

“Would you come for dinner at my place some time? And meet my roommate?”

Clint looked up from loading up the dishwasher. “Yeah. Of course. I'd love to meet him.”

Bucky nodded.

“Is this a meeting the parents kind of meeting though?”

“What?” Bucky frowned.

“I don't know! You look so solemn right now. I'd love to meet your roommate. But I was wondering... if you're putting special significance into it?”

“What would I... No. No, it's just...”

“I'm not accusing you of anything, I swear,” Clint said, putting his hands up. “It's just... you haven't invited me over before, and it seems like something serious to you, I guess. I just want to know what I'm getting into.”

“It's nothing. It's nothing. It's just... I asked Steve to meet his girlfriend, but I don't want to be there alone, and I also want you to meet him, because... he's important to me. We've had a... a rough time, I guess, these past months, but he means a lot to me, and you do too, and I would like you to meet each other.”

“Okay,” Clint replied. “I would be happy to. I'm not kidding, Bucky, I would love to.” He put a hand on his shoulder, and Bucky suddenly realised how much tension he had been holding in. “So Steve's dating someone?”

Bucky hadn't yet talked about it with Clint, since it didn't concern him directly. “Yeah. I told you about Peggy, right? That girl he met up with at the art gallery. They're officially dating now, so I thought it was time for me to meet her.”

Clint walked back to the living room as he talked, sitting down and indicating for Bucky to do the same.

“And wasn't there a guy? Sam?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. That was the big problem with Steve, and kind of why we weren't as close as usual these days. He was all hung up about not knowing what to do. But... we talked, a while ago. And then he talked to Peggy, told her about Sam. She was fine with it, apparently? Steve didn't give me much details.”

“That's good. Good of her, and good for Steve.”

“Yeah. He finally talked to Sam like... three days ago? It went...” Bucky trailed off. He didn't exactly have something he could compare this experience to, so he wasn't sure if it had gone well or not, actually. “Okay, I guess? Sam is... confused. I think he hadn't expected for Steve to make a move ever. I swear, they've been dancing around each other for years now.”

Clint chuckled at that.

“So now that Steve has made his move, but also told him about Peggy... I think it's normal that Sam needs time. And he's a great guy so... I don't think anything bad will happen. I guess the worst case scenario would be for him to say no, and to act a bit more coldly towards Steve for a while, but I don't think he could keep that up too long. Although...” He ran a hand through the longer part of his hair. “I guess that Steve... Steve could be the type to put more distance between them, to be honest. If he gets it into his head that that would be best for Sam or something stupid like that. But I don't think it would be best for either of them if that happened. Not on the long term.” He paused. “Sorry. I don't want to annoy you with all these stories.”

Clint shrugged. He leaned into Bucky, slowly and deliberately, giving him the time to pull away if he wanted to. It was similar to the kind of position Bucky would take if he was with Steve, though the sensation was somehow completely different.

“It's fine. I mean, don't ask me to understand those kinds of things...” He hummed. “Actually, scratch that. I say that but it's not really true. I don't think I ever told you about that, but I actually thought I was polyamorous, for a while.”

“Really? That seems rather... counterintuitive. Considering...”

“Considering how I'm arospec as fuck now?” Clint shrugged. “You would think so, but from what I've heard it actually happened to a lot of people. A lot of arospec peeps have a hard time realising whether what they're feeling is romantic attraction or not, and since they love a lot of people in the same way, if they confuse those feelings for romantic, there's a chance they'll ID as poly for a while. Considering that I do feel attraction, and that I'm not asexual, it was pretty easy for me to identify with the label. So I guess I do understand. It's just so... complicated.”

It was Bucky's turn to chuckle. “You tell me.”

“I mean, good for them if it makes them happy in the long term. People deserve that. But when I hear stories like that I always feel like it's more effort than it's worth. Like... you said Sam and Steve have been dancing around each other for years. If they've enjoyed it like that for so long, will it actually change anything if they start dating?”

Bucky thought about it. “I guess they mostly... It justifies the time they spend together? And then...” He smiled. “I guess you could call Steve old-fashioned, but I'm pretty sure he hasn't even kissed Sam before, let alone slept with him. So that's... that's one of the reasons they want to officially get together, I guess. And, well, the Peggy thing does justify it some more, I guess?”

“Yeah... If they were planning on making it an exclusive relationship, there might be more to negotiate.”

“Mmh. I mean, you say it's so complicated,” Bucky began. “But I'm not so sure. People who want to be in a romantic relationship, they've got an idea of what to expect. There are all these unspoken rules, all these stereotypes, but it gives them a base to build on. When you're... when you try to make it work totally outside of the system, you've got to build everything from scratch. That's scary. And complicated. Doesn't it take more negotiations to define everything you want from nothing, instead of just basing yourself on a model and saying no to the things you don't want?”

“Is that how you feel about us?” Clint asked, tilting his head slightly. The gesture made him look slightly like a bird, which helped Bucky feel more comfortable with the question.

Bucky sighed. “I guess. Though it's not really your fault. It's also just because... I'm not always sure what I want, and I definitely can't articulate it very well.”

“You should... you should tell me, you know? I know I don't always... ask.”

Clint started staring at his hands. Bucky felt like this was becoming another deeply emotional conversation. He smiled. “God. My therapist will be so proud.”

Clint looked up, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I used to never talk about anything. Nothing at all, in the first few months after my accident. Then I just didn't talk about emotional stuff. And now I feel like that's all I'm doing. Talking about my feelings.”

“Well... that's a good thing, I guess?”

Bucky shrugged. “We'll see. It's not really the end goal, you know? That would be to get back to some kind of equilibrium.”

“I'm not sure anyone has that.”

“Fair enough. But you know what they say about aiming for the stars.”

“That it's not scientifically realistic?”

Bucky elbowed him in the stomach, grinning.

Clint regained his seriousness. “I mean what I said though. I know... I like to say it's the simplest thing. Just enjoying what you want without caring about the rules society might have created around it. But like you said... it's confusing. You need to tell me, when you feel that way. I definitely won't always know what to do but... we can figure it out together. I act very confidently about all of this, but in truth... I'm just winging it. Fake it 'til you make it.”

“Truly words to live by.”

“It's worked fairly well for me so far.”

“You tell me. The thing is... I'm sometimes confused. By what we are, what our relationship is.”

“Mmh.”

“I'm actually surprised by how fine I am with the fact that we're not dating. Because...” Bucky paused. “Okay, tell me if this question bothers you. Because that's really not the point. But... what's the difference? Between what we do and a romantic relationship. I mean... we literally snogged after going to a concert together.”

Clint seemed a bit tense, but not offended by the question. He sighed, huddling closer to Bucky in a way that made him think of Steve, despite the size difference between the two men.

“I've thought about this before, you know, but I don't have a clear answer. That's why I told you I couldn't always be sure of my own boundaries. I guess romance is what you make of it, really. It will be different for everyone. But you talked of working from a model, scratching out things that don't work... I can't do that. I guess a lot of what bothers me about romance it's that it's usually so reliant on those rules and expectations. Of course you can make exceptions, of course you can communicate and adapt things to your own needs, but for most people, romance involves checking things off of a list. Having your first kiss, holding hands, going on a romantic dinner, on holidays, calling each other ridiculous pet names... I can't work with that sort of script, because it makes me feel trapped. I feel like I can't trust myself or my partner in those situations, because I never know if I or they are behaving in a particular way just because that's what's romantic and not because they actually want to.”

“So it's better to throw away the script entirely?”

Clint shrugged. “I guess so. At least it's what's proven to be better for me.”

Bucky nodded.

“What about you, Barnes? What's better for you?”

He thought about it. He had done so before, but he had to think again. He still had no clear answer to that question.

“I don't know. I'm supposed to be this really flirty guy, confident and funny. At least... well. Like I said, that's what I was supposed to be. Before. So the easy answer is that I should want, I should want a relationship. That's how I used to work. But then there was this period... this long period when I didn't really trust anyone. I didn't talk to anyone. Not even Steve, who's been the person the closest to me since forever. How would I have thought about a relationship when I couldn't even consider meeting someone new without freaking out? It wasn't even a question, at that point. But now... Now I've got the time and the energy to think about all of that, and the most confusing thing is that... I don't. I don't really know if I even want to figure it out. Or maybe I do want to, but at the same time it doesn't feel necessary. I don't know if it would change a thing.”

“That's... a lot?”

“Yeah... I'm not sure we're making it easy for each other.”

“Well, everyone has their way of being complicated, despite what movies try to tell us about literally every background character ever. We're trying. That's what matters. I guess.”

They stayed silent for a moment.

“Do you want to stay the night?” Clint asked.

If Bucky was honest with himself, digestion had started to do its thing with him, and sitting on the couch with Clint was too comfortable for him to contemplate moving. The fact that Summer had started saying its goodbyes and that the air was quickly becoming chillier just eased the matter.

“Sure. If that's not a problem for you. I'll just text Steve and let him know.”

Bucky pulled out his phone, sent Steve a quick message, and put the device down on the coffee table. He then settled back against Clint.

There was a moment of silence, one that verged on being awkward but somehow wasn't, not when they were sharing warmth and intimacy like this.

“Hey. What do you actually do for a living? I've known you for months and I still have no idea.”

Clint laughed. “Oh god. I never told you, really?”

“Well, no. Which is why I'm asking. I actually thought you were doing it on purpose, that you were being mysterious, or something.”

“Nah, not really. I guess it just seems... boring. I work as a translator, actually. Corporate stuff, mostly. I traveled a lot when I was a kid, stayed with a circus for a while, and that's how I realised I had a knack for languages. Took me a really long time to get any kind of official degree to prove it though. Studying's not really my thing. And now I've become just another slave to big companies and capitalism. But it pays the bills.”

“Wait. You stayed with a circus for a while? How did I not know this? Like, I understand not talking about a boring job but... You stayed with a circus?”

“Well, yeah. I was a kid performer.”

“Oh my god. Clint! Why is this not the thing you begin conversations with? You performed in a circus? What did you do?”

Clint scratched his neck, seeming slightly embarrassed. Bucky honestly couldn't care if he wasn't being restrained enough. This wasn't the kind of information you were restrained about. It just wasn't.

“Archery. Trick archery. Shooting at moving targets, or blindfolded, things like that.”

“Oh my god. Can you still do it?”

“Uh... yeah? I still do it as... sport, I guess? And I have a Youtube channel.”

Bucky gaped at him. He had spent so much time wondering what Clint did for a living, and was just now realizing there had been a much more interesting mistery right in front of him this whole time.

“You do trick archery on Youtube. And never once thought to mentioned that in a conversation.”

Clint shrugged. “It's not a subject that comes up really often?”

“What?! You...” Bucky shook his head. “Actually, you know what? I'm not even really mad at you, right now. I'm way madder that even Kate didn't mention anything. I thought she was a friend.”

“Well, I mean... I guess she's used to it? She actually sometimes makes videos with me. She's crazy good. Better than me, probably, if we judge by technique only.”

“What? Seriously? Kate too?”

“I'm sorry. I really didn't know it was that big of a deal? I mean, most of my other friends know and I just... didn't think about it. It really wasn't against you.”

“No, no, don't worry,” Bucky replied reassuringly. “I'm not mad or anything. Just surprised. I just really didn't expect it. It's like I'm discovering this whole new part of you, you know?”

“Well... I guess. But that's, normal, isn't it? To still discover new things about each other? That's good?”

“Yeah, Clint. It's good.”

Bucky felt warm and comfortable and on the verge of laughter, and it just seemed like the perfect moment to kiss Clint. And so he put a hand on the other man's cheek, slowly turned his face towards him and leaned closer, making his intentions clear. Clint didn't resist or protest, and leaned slightly forward too.

So Bucky closed the distance, and Clint's lips were chapped, and they both smelled of pizza and soda, and it was nice. They both had to crane their neck a little bit, and so they shifted positions. There was a bit of push and pull, before Bucky ended up lying along the whole length of the couch with Clint on top of him, knees on both sides of Bucky's hips.

Clint grinned, breaking the kiss and hovering just an inch or two above Bucky's reach.

“Gotta put that upper-body strength to use, you know?”

Bucky really wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. And well... his arms were maybe more fragile than they used to, but his abs were fine. So he quickly moved up, just to give Clint a new peck on the lips.

“Come on, Barnes, that's not the point,” Clint said laughing. He leaned down again, forcing Bucky against the cushions once more, and started kissing his neck and jaw.

Bucky tensed up for a second, then let go. This was nice. It was good. He was allowed to enjoy this. It was good if he did, and he could make Clint enjoy it as well. Yeah. That would be nice.

“Tell me if you don't like something. Or if you wanna stop,” Clint said in a low voice. “Or if you want something. Just tell me. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Bucky let out as Clint softly bit down on the junction between his neck and right shoulder. “Okay.”

He let Clint kiss and suck on his skin for a while, lifting the bottom of his t-shirt and running a hand on the skin of his back in retaliation. After a minute of this treatment, though, he pulled Clint upwards again, kissing him once more. They were both open-mouthed from the start this time, tongues brushing against each other and low gasps intermingling until it was impossible to distinguish their owner. Bucky ran a hand through Clint's short hair, who did the same through Bucky's. Experimentally, he gave a small tug to on of Bucky's long strands. Bucky gasped, bucking his hips involuntarily. Clint did it again. Bucky moved his hand to Clint's ass, squeezing slightly, then pushing down as he bucked up.

“Oh God,” Clint said, pressing down against Bucky as he deepened the kiss even further. He leaned back after much too short a moment, Bucky unconsciously chasing after him. “Let's go to my bedroom? There's a bed there. A big bed. Please?”

Bucky nodded, standing up after Clint and following him to the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and immediately pushed Clint down where he had just sat down on the edge of the bed. Clint half-heartedly protested, so after one more kiss they both took out their shoes and socks. Then it was Clint's turn to attack Bucky and push him down before he had time to undress further, once again slipping a hand through his long hair as he kissed him. Bucky ran a hand up Clint's side and tugged at his t-shirt. He took the hint and pulled it over his head, though before the garment had even hit the floor he was back at kissing the underside of Bucky's jaw. He had known before that Clint's arms were muscular, and now even had an explanation as to why, but his chest was well-defined as well. Bucky noticed a scar on Clint's back, dangerously close to his spine, as well as a small one just above his hip. He let his right hand trail down the man's shoulder as they kissed, both starting to thrust their hips together as their dicks grew to full hardness.

“Clint, mmh, Clint, come on.” The blond looked up. “Take your pants off, I want to feel you.”

Clint grinned at that, and immediately started working on unzipping his fly. Bucky did the same with his own, and Clint started pulling Bucky's jeans off as soon as he had discarded his. He then started pulling at Bucky's shirt.

Bucky opened his mouth, hesitating for a second, and Clint's hands immediately stilled.

“It's fine,” Bucky said, pulling the long-sleeved shirt above his head and throwing it across the room. “Just... don't look at the scars too much?”

Clint nodded, put a hand on each of Bucky's cheeks, looked him straight in the eyes and proceeded to kiss him breathless. Bucky wanted to laugh. He felt light, as if his body was going to fly away on the next breath. As if anything was possible.

Bucky put his right hand on Clint's butt again, this time slipping it under the waistband of his boxers. Clint groaned against Bucky's skin, then bit down right next to one of his nipple. Bucky bucked his hips up to meet Clint's, desperately seeking some friction against his erection. He started pulling at Clint's boxer shorts, slowly easing them down.

“Come on,” Clint whined, thrusting down slightly.

Bucky finally raised his left arm, using both hands to pull the other man's shorts down and throw them off the bed. Clint didn't react at the weird texture of the prosthesis, sitting up above Bucky's thighs and asking for permission to undress Bucky further. Eyes on Clint's dick, Bucky forced himself to look up and nod. Clint grinned, discarding him of their last item of clothing.

They were left staring at each other for a moment, and both men laughed. Then Bucky moved up a little to lean against the cushions, and beckoned Clint over.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

“What do you want to do?” Clint replied, straddling his hips.

“I asked first,” Bucky pointed out.

“I ask-” Before he could finish his quip, Bucky pulled him down and rose to kiss him, biting down on his lower lip. Then he leaned away, and pulled slightly on Clint's hair when the man moved as if to follow him. “What do you want?”

“Uuuh.” Clint closed his eyes. “Can I ride you?” He asked, face scrunched up as if he was afraid of the answer he would get.

Bucky breathed out, and thought about it. “Yeah,” he let out, voice gravelly with arousal. “Yeah, that would be great.”

“Let me just...” Clint said as he leaned over and looked through a bedside drawer for lube and a condom. He started squirting lube on his hand, but Bucky stopped him.

“Can I? It's been a long time... I want to feel...”

Clint nodded enthusiastically, quickly transferring the lube to Bucky's righ hand.

“Could we move for this? Prep will be easier if I don't have to support my weight.”

Bucky nodded, and they switched place. He once again felt breathless, leaning over Clint as the man looked at him with a bright smile and awe in his eyes. Bucky felt like his ribcage was going to explode, but for once it was a good feeling. He balanced himself on his prosthesis, careful, and leaned down to kiss Clint. The man moaned in his mouth, so Bucky carefully started rubbing a finger against his entrance.

“Please,” Clint whispered against Bucky's lips, and he pushed in. It had been a long time, and Bucky was quietly amazed at the way he felt the muscles shift around his fingers, first tensing up then relaxing and inviting him further. He started pushing in and out a few times, carefully, twisting his finger to stretch the ring of muscles. Then he heard Clint let out a laugh and looked up.

“Sorry, sorry,” Clint said, running a hand through his own hair. “You just look so focused.” He put a palm against Bucky's cheek. “It's adorable.” He ran a finger across Bucky's lips. “I won't break, you know? I mean, take all the time you need, but... I won't break. And I'll tell you if it's too much.”

Bucky worried his lower lip, leaning into Clint's hand, which had moved back to his cheek. “Okay.”

He pushed a second finger in, and felt Clint move his hips slightly to accommodate him. He started pushing in and out, then crooked his fingers a little. “Oh, yeah!” Clint explained, groaning as Bucky repeated the exact same motion. “Right there...” Bucky smiled as Clint started running a hand against his rib, digging his nails in his skin every time Bucky rubbed against his prostate. Bucky started scissoring his fingers, neglecting Clint's prostate despite the man's whine. “I don't want it to hurt,” he explained, voice pitched low.

“Yeah, well,” Clint groaned as he shifted his hips and tried to get Bucky deeper inside him. “I'm starting to think it's not gonna be worth it if you don't-.”

He groaned again as Bucky gave a deeper thrust.

“Just kidding. I am loving this, but also-” Bucky felt nails dig much deeper than before in the flesh just under his ribs. “Please add a third finger now.”

Bucky did as he was instructed, breathing heavily and looking Clint in the eyes, even if they were half-closed. Clint moaned. “You're an angel.” He rocked his hips again, and Bucky laughed. Clint was all splayed out, hands running all over Bucky's back and shoulders and sending delicious shivers down his spine. It felt like too much, and at the same time was just perfect.

Clint opened his eyes, and grinned at him. Bucky couldn't help but smile back, then crooked his fingers just the right way to make Clint moan obscenely. “Okay, no, I object, that's totally not fair,” Clint protested even as he started rocking his hips earnestly. “You cannot look at me like that and then do that, uuuh, please do admire... the fact that... I'm coherent right now... oh god, please, please, please can I get your dick inside me.”

Bucky groaned. His neglected erection was starting to make itself known, so he groaned in assent and slowly pulled his fingers out.

“Oh god,” Clint said, clenching around thin air a few times. Then he pulled Bucky down for a kiss, and rolled him over so he was on top once more. “Can I?” He asked, picking up the condom package. "Yeah, yeah," Bucky nodded.

Clint first stook the time to stroke his dick, slowly, and Bucky groaned. It was finally some contact, but it wasn't enough, far from that, not with the promise of Clint above him. He sighed with relief when Clint finally tore apart the small package and starting rolling the condom down his prick. Clint then put two fingers inside himself, making sure he was well-relaxed. Bucky had to bite down on his lip, watching him. He couldn't think of anything else in that moment but the sight before him and the way his body felt on fire. He was extremely grateful for that.

Clint started to line himself up, then pushed down slowly. Bucky held his breath for a second, before realizing he was doing it and exhaling softly. It felt warm, and tight, and overwhelming. It felt foreign, and welcome, and Bucky kept his eyes open through it all, despairingly trying to make himself remember that this was real.

Clint exhaled deeply, sliding up slightly, then down against, until his hips were flushed with Bucky's.

“Clint...”

“Oh gosh, Bucky. This is so good.”

And then he started moving, without more warning. Would Bucky ever regain his breath? He wasn't sure. He wasn't going to ask. He put his right hand against Clint's hips, and the man moaned, shifting his angle slightly. He was moving rather slowly, but deliberately, and Bucky quickly started following the same rhythm with shallow thrusts of his own.

Bucky bit his lip, holding back a groan at the feeling of Clint's muscles tight around him, then carefully lay his left hand just above the man's hips. Clint took him in all the way again, opening his mouth on a wordless gasp which turned into a keening noise when Bucky started touching his dick with his other hand.

Clint opened his eyes all the way just so he could stare at Bucky, groaning. “You are so fucking beautiful and good and... oh god, can you, can I just...” He leaned forward, holding himself up above Bucky with his arms. Bucky's dick almost slipped out at the movement, but Clint just held himself up on one hand to guide it back in. Bucky groaned at that, and Clint picked up a faster rhythm.

“Please, Buck, please,” he gasped out as Bucky continued to stroke his cock.

“Yeah. Yeah, anything, tell me.”

“More, please, please, please,” Clint said, and Bucky started thrusting harder, gasping at the same time as Clint. He gathered the precum at the top of Clint's shaft and slid down again, twisting his wrist. He repeated the movement as Clint started whispering a litany of “I'm close, I'm close, I'm close.” His thrust were now completely erratic, but he somehow managed to take Bucky impossibly deeper.

Bucky felt like he was on fire, a flame that build in his gut and spread through his chest and up to his throat. Then Clint cried out, left arm almost buckling. He clenched down around Bucky, who kept thrusting as much as he could, unfocused as he stroked Clint's cock through his orgasm.

Clint was breathing loudly and fast. He finally looked up, expression slightly dazed and sweat running down his forehead. “You asked me what I wanted. Can I finish you with my mouth? Please?”

Bucky groaned, throwing his head back against a pillow at the mere image of it. “Yeah. Yeah. Please. I'm close, I'm...” He whined as Clint pulled off. His erection ached, and he was shivering from arousal despite feeling way too hot.

Then Clint's mouth closed around him, and Bucky bit down on his arm to stifle his moan. Clint took his cock in hand at the base, and carefully licked up and down his shaft, before taking him in his mouth again and sucking.

Bucky forced himself to look, because he knew he would regret it otherwise. He raised his left hand and ran it through Clint's dishevelled hair. He couldn't actually feel the texture of it, but could see Clint relax at the touch even as he kept focused on his work around Bucky's cock.

“Oh god. I'm gonna, I'm gonna-” He said, desperately trying to not to thrust up into Clint's throat. The man pulled off with an obscene pop and started stroking him.

“Yeah, come on, Bucky, come on.”

Bucky muffled another whine in his arm, and came in Clint's hand, coating his fingers and some of his chest in semen. He groaned, collapsing against the pillow. He felt like his breathing could be heard from the next room.

“Thank you,” he said, barely over a whisper.

Clint chuckled. “Oh my god. Thank you.” He leaned down, settling on his side to avoid coating all the bedsheets with cum. They kissed, slow and deep. This kiss was less of an exploration now, and more something they shared. There was no goal to it, no projected next move. Just a moment of intimacy wrapped in the smell of sweat and sex.

“I'm gonna clean us up. And I can lend you a t-shirt to use as Pjs, if you want.”

“Yeah. That would be nice,” Bucky said, starting to sit up as Clint did so.

“No, no, no. You stay in bed. I'll be right back.”

Bucky smiled, content as he watched Clint walk out of the bedroom to pick up a washcloth. His body was buzzing, not as it did when he was anxious, but in the way embers crackled as you warmed your hands over them.

Clint came back into the room, already washed up, and carefully cleaned him of all traces of their cum before finally allowing him to stand up and put on one of his t-shirts.

It was too big for Clint and barely Bucky's size, but none of them cared as they put their boxers back on.

“I need to... It's better if I take my prosthesis off to sleep,” Bucky said.

“Yeah. Of course. Do you want some privacy?”

Bucky shook his head. “No, no. It's fine. Just warning you.” He sat down on the bed again as he worked on unlocking the arm proper from where it connected to his shoulder. In the meantime, Clint set about picking up all of their discarded clothing, folding Bucky's and draping his above the back of a chair standing next to his dresser.

Bucky let out a huff of pain as the mechanism finally released, pulling at his skin, and saw Clint look up. He didn't say anything, though, and Bucky lay the prosthesis across his knee as he carefully massaged his stump.

“You can... leave it on the bedside table, I guess?” Clint said. “That's probably the most convenient.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, and did just that.

Clint joined him on the bed and settled against the cushions. He then pointed at his earing aids. “I have to take those off as well. If there's something you need during the night, you'd better just shake me awake. I'm a light sleeper anyway, so it's really no worries.”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded.

“Okay.”

Clint slowly took the aids out, and handed them out to Bucky to set them next to the prosthesis on the bedside table. Then they both settled under the covers, and Bucky closed his eyes.

[newagesispage]

                                                                      APRIL    2021

THE RIB PAGE

*****

The Grammy’s held their ceremony. Bla Bla.. Noah Cyrus wore a popcorn dress.  Harry Styles was hot as hell. Dua Lipa, Cynthia Erivo, Ingrid Andress and Megan Thee Stallion were my best dressed. Cudos to Bruno Mars and Anderson Paak for their little Richard tribute!! Hooray for Tiffany Haddish!!

*****

The Oscar noms are out and Mank ran away with the most. Woo Hoo! The trial of the Chicago 7, Nomadland and Gary Oldman were all nominated. I was surprised that One night in Miami did not get more love but hooray for Leslie Odom Jr. I was thrilled for Crip Camp and My Octopus Teacher which are about the best movies of the year but sad not to see All in: Fight for democracy. I would bet on Ma Rainey’s black bottom for costmes!!  Glenn Close has now been nominated 8 times with no wins.  Winners will be announced on April 25.

*****

The Torlonia exhibit may soon be coming to America. I can’t wait!! The ancient Greek and Roman marble sculptures are one of the greatest private collections.

*****

Here comes the George Floyd trial! The testimony gets worse everyday.

*****

All hail Lady Dynamite!!!! Maria Bamford just gets better with age.

*****

The art collective behind the “Satan shoes” has been sued by Nike. The lil’ Nas X 666 shoes sold out but Nike claims trademark infringement. Nike did not design or release them and does not endorse them. They are really black and red air max 97 sneakers. The company, MSCHF modified them as they did in 2019 with the “Jesus shoes.” I do not think they were sued for that. Fair?? I say make your own!!

*****

A guy named Brian created his own video store in his basement during the quarantine.  He is not the first but it is bringing national attention.

*****

Volkswagon pulled an IHOP and fooled the media into thinking they were changing their name to Voltswagon. They claimed they are highlighting the electric car but it was just a joke. Why do these companies think they are so clever?? They just end up looking ridic!! VW seemed perplexed that people did not react all that well to the fake out.

*****

The Catholic Church does not want to bless same sex marriages. The announcement caused Elton John to let us know that the Church had invested in the movie, Rocketman. The Church won’t comment but it has since been confirmed that they invested 1.2 mil.

*****

Why would they think we wouldn’t notice how bad they are trying to fuck the voters?  Coca cola is one of the big funders in this endeavor to take away rights. ** Hooray for the house for their sweeping election reform bill.

*****

How the fuck did Ron Johnson get elected? Can we stop it with electing the stupid people?

*****

The Dr. Seuss family and the publishers decided to pull 6 books from print. The books did not sell well and had a few racist pages so good riddance. That is just good business. I don’t understand the big deal.

*****

Why is Piers Morgan such a dick? I do not know anyone that is surprised about the Sharon Osbourne story. I don’t know if I have ever heard a good story about her. She is now out at the Talk with a reported 7 figure settlement to leave.** I don’t know if the cancel is right or wrong but hearing less from Piers and Sharon sounds like a more peaceful world. They just always struck me as rich, unhappy people.

*****

Scary Clown 45 has asked that supporters send $ directly to him and not to the GOP. ** Lara Trump, chairwoman of a dog charity are under scrutiny for bringing us another scam.** Fauci flattered Trump into telling people to get vaccinated.

*****

Don Cheadle will narrate the new Wonder Years.

*****

It feels like the “Bridge era”.  Bridgerton, Phoebe Waller- Bridge and Phoebe Bridgers are having a moment. Every so often there seems to be these famous names with familiarity that come in cycles. There was all the Seth’s and all the Kristen variations and of course, Dermot and Dylan.

*****

Heard the best porn name on James Corden: Bonkers Eddie.

*****

This month in sex offender news: Deshawn Watson has been accused of sexual assault.** Alabama Shakes drummer Steven Johnson was arrested for child abuse.** I see people also talking again about a 2018 revelation. It is said that Brendan Fraser’s career was sabotaged after being sexually assaulted by the ex- President of the Hollywood foreign press, Philip Berk in 2003. In Berk’s memoir, he claims it was a ‘joke.” Another reason he was out of work was the surgeries after the Mummy movies. The stunt work caused him to have a laminectomy, partial knee replacement, back and vocal cord surgeries over a 7 year period.

*****

Hackers broke into Tesla with live footage from the factory floors. There have been large outbreaks from the Tesla plants.

*****

Please stop admiring people who would kill you for profit. – Mike Monteiro

*****

Biden once told Putin that he had no soul and Putin apparently told him, “We understand each other. “ Biden also called him a killer.

*****

Death penalty for abortion? Yea, that makes sense.

*****

Bats don’t recognize borders and China won’t let anyone really know where it all began.  Bat dung collectors test samples all the time. Thus far they have not had one positive test.  The World Health Organization is in a quandary about their report because of China’s lack of compliance.

*****

Are U ready for debauchery and fun?? I After all the restraints that SOME of us have shown, I predict that 100 years after the Roaring 20’s, they will be back with a vengeance. The crazies who want all to be normal already.. wait!! Save lives and after the vaccines are all handed out, look out!!!** Wouldn’t it be funny to put that old 20’s type narration over today’s headlines? **Kudos to the wrestlers in Mexico who were forcing masks on people.** Before the end od March, I have since heard others prediction of the Roaring 20’s.

*****

$143 billion has been spent in Afghanistan and a recent investigation shows that a lot of that was mismanaged. A lot of what was supposed to come with that, never happened.

*****

The film, The Last Blockbuster made me sentimental for my old job managing video stores.  No wonder other endeavors never seemed fulfilling. I did hate the dusting but that was a small price to pay. I will admit, also, like Kevin Smith admitted in the film, there was some sex in the video store. Good times!

*****

The Atlanta massage parlor killings come at a time when our family just found out some secrets. A bunch of the males in a particular part of the fam who claim religious superiority and love of Trump were recently seen in a new light. The patriarch of said fam had taught his son and son in law to visit strip clubs and less reputable massage parlors on the quiet.** There has been a 150% increase in Asian hate crimes.** Bill Maher mentioned the Christian and Muslim shooters and then said, “Today an atheist went crazy and rearranged his books.”** The body of one of the Atlanta victims, Daoyou Feng has yet to be claimed.

*****

Imagine calling yourself a Christian and thinking following Jesus means giving people weapons and denying them water. –Mike Jollett

*****

Face the Nation has become the Covid Report. There are other things going on. Not to mention that until there are enough available vaccines, what is the point? When will my elderly Mother be eligible because so far, it has been a no go, no matter what we do. Let’s worry about the people who do not want it after we vaccinate the ones that do.

*****

Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson signed a bill to grant Dr.’s and medical professionals the right to refuse patients based on “moral, ethical or religious grounds.”

*****

Brian Kemp signed a 95 page Georgia GOP voter suppression bill.

*****

I can give a person waiting in line to vote in Georgia a gun but not a drink of water. –E. Jean Carroll

*****

Bernie Sanders is trying to lower the age for Medicare to 55.

*****

Are there large versions of Zingers or Suzy Q’s?? It seems like Hostess would make a killing on birthday or wedding cakes that looked like the lil’ snack cakes. Just think of it, giant ding dongs!!

*****

Virginia abolished the death penalty which brings the total of states without capital punishment is 23.

*****

The film Nobody with Bob Odenkirk was # 1 with a $6.7 mil debut.

*****

Riverdale will be back for season 6. Any program that shows homage to NFB 418, I’m in.

*****

The Sharon Osborne story brings up the old dilemma; Can we separate the person who’s never done anything from the work they’ve never done? –Frank Conniff**

*****

Yaphet Kptto helped Michael Moore expose taxi drivers refusal to pick up black customers on TV Nation in 1993.

*****

Arrested Development could never be the same without Mama Bluth. I never thought I would say this but I hope there is never another Arrested. Without Jessica Walter, it could never be the same.

*****

R.I.P. John Burks, Richie Tienken, Tony Hendon, Bunny Wailer, Bill C. Davis, Barbara Rickles, Isidore Mankofsky,Yaphet Kotto, Atlanta shooting victims, Beverly Cleary, Glynn Lunney, Larry Mcmurtry, George Segal, Larry the cat and Jessica Walter.

[multsicorn]

fic: how do you make it for real (zimbits, 2/5)

for @queersherlockian, the first chapter of my much-belated@fandomtrumpshateaction fic.  This chapter is ~5k words, rated g, but there’s much more, and porn, to come.  also here on ao3.

Jack Zimmermann’s an adjunct history professor at Samwell University. Bitty works at Annie’s, at the start of what’s now his second year after graduation.

They’ve started to become friends hanging out at the coffee shop, and, in this chapter, they attend a Halloween party.

Jack rings the doorbell to Bitty's friend's apartment, feeling foolish.  He's wearing jeans and a t-shirt with matching cat ears.  The tail the costume came with is hanging off-center from a belt loop on his back; the paint that marks nose and whiskers on his face still feels greasy, but if he scrubbed it off, Jack suspects, he'd look even more ridiculous, half in costume and half out of it.

He wipes his palms on his jeans.  He thinks that maybe he should've worn a different costume.  But he couldn't imagine himself, when he was standing in the Halloween aisle of the drugstore, as a storybook hero, whether prince or pirate - never mind the questionable nature of the notions of heroism involved in either of those narratives.  And he didn't want to imagine himself, though he could, as one of the undead Halloween horde, ghost or zombie or vampire.  A cat might be a boring choice but it's still an acceptable Halloween costume.

A girl finally opens the door.  He doesn't have to or can't run away.  Her dress is both shinier and more revealing than anything Jack could imagine wearing, but he follows her in without a word, and then she's gone.  He never even gathered the wits to say "Hello."

This party looks just like every other party he's ever been to, back in the Q.  More people are in costumes: big cardboard boxes, onesies with animal heads, more than a few guys in ill-fitting girls' clothes that they clearly didn't even try to make look good.  Even tonight, though, most people are dressed more or less like normal, tight jeans and shirts and short dresses, just decorated for the occasion with little horns or a halo or bunny ears.

It's a crowd of people, that's the thing that overwhelms him.  He doesn't mind the stained green couch that he sees from the corner of his eye that looks like it was rescued from one of the more permissive sets of billet parents' basements.  It's just that it's impossible to see who's present, or who's talking to whom, and more impossible yet to hear from any distance what anyone might be saying.  And there's a beer can or two or a red plastic cup full of alcohol, Jack sees, in just about everyone's hand.  That's the worst thing.

It's not true - not, technically, strictly, true - that he doesn't know what to do at a party.  He did know, once upon a time.  He'd thought, he'd believed that he'd figured it out, that pills and alcohol were tools he could use to craft a solution…

Jack feels as if from a great distance his breath spreeding up.  Like he's running from something, like he's racing to escape the situation, though he's standing still, barely shaking, and also, he can't run.  There's nowhere to run to, nowhere to get away…

That's the panic talking, he tells himself.  Stop.

Think.  That's what his therapist told him.  You can leave if you want.  When you feel like you can't leave a situation, that's your brain lying to you.  It's your life, you're in control of it.

And you don't have to leave right then.  You can stop and think.  What, exactly, are you afraid of?

What is he afraid of?  Not rejection, not ridicule.  He doesn't care that much about those things, even if they were likely to happen here, which they're not.  It's mostly not knowing what to do.

Okay, so he'll make a plan.

First, he'll find Lardo or Bitty.  He can talk to them: he knows that he can, and he knows that they're here, because Bitty invited both him and Lardo.  So.  That's a battle plan.  Great.  Time to put it into action.

"Jack!"  Bitty crashes into him with no warning in something in between a hug and a full body slam.  He's flushed, and probably more than a little drunk.  Jack's reluctant to let go of him again.

"Knew you'd make it, bro," Lardo says.  She appears out of the crowd, right behind Bitty.  "This guy kept saying you'd punk out on us, but I had faith."

"Thanks," Jack says.  "Bitty!  What are you wearing?"  He can see, of course, that Bitty's wearing a black leotard.  It's glittery, with one long sleeve, and Bitty's taller than usual because he's in feels, but since what Jack really wants to ask him is 'why' and even more importantly 'how did you get the nerve,' it takes him a second to realize that he should've asked 'who are you' instead.

"You don't recognize this outfit?" Bitty says.  "I'm offended on behalf of all of America and Canada for your cultural ignorance."

"It's the Single Ladies video," Lardo explains, sotto voce.

"And you single-handedly put back the relationship between our countries by, like, twenty years."

"To… nineteen ninety-eight?" Jack asks.  "What happened then?"

"He's Beyonce, and you'd better know who that is."

"No, I'm not Bey."  Bitty turns to Lardo, apparently having given up on Jack for the time being.  "I wouldn't do that.  And, besides," he flashes his hand in front of his face, turning it quickly from palm to back to palm.  "See?  No glove?  I'm just one of her backup dancers.  And, hey, Jack, how about Lardo's costume?"

"I did work all night on it."

Jack looks.  She's a steampunk robo-cat: metal crankshafts appear to articulate her feline limbs, and gears fill out the interstices.  It's amazing, objectively, even if he's more interested in the velvet arches that frame the tops of Bitty's thighs.

"It's amazing," he says.  "Kinda makes me wish I hadn't been a black cat, though."

He'd been shooting for a joking tone, but evidently he doesn't quite make it, because Lardo says, sympathetically, "Nah, you're cool, bro.  We're costume twins."

"Triplets!" Bitty says.  "Cause, I'm wearing a black cat… suit, right?"

"Ha," Jack says.

Lardo holds up a fist for Bitty to bump, approvingly, and then, before they can drop them, Jack holds up his fist and bumps both of theirs too.

"Anyways, good to see you guys, but I've gotta bounce.  Later, Jack-o-Lantern, Bitsyonce," Lardo says, and she disappears with a nod.

"You can have some mercy this time," Bitty calls after her.

"What?" Jack asks.

Bitty shrugs.  "Lardo is unbelievably, out of this world good at party games.  Beer pong, pool, cornhole, you name it.  It's like alcohol makes her coordination better instead of worse.  So," Bitty's attention snaps back to Jack, back from where it'd been wandering out into the center of the room.  "Where are you going?"

"Well," Jack hedges.  "I had been hoping that I could stay right here."

Bitty laughs.  "Nice.  Charming."  Jack doesn't laugh in the pause Bitty leaves.  "But, seriously.  Isn't talking to people the whole point of a party?  I know it can be scary, none of us start out confident, but you just have to fake it until you make it."

Bitty doesn't seem to be faking anything, Jack thinks.  But maybe he's just better at it.

"I'm not afraid," Jack syas, regardless of the fact that he might sound like he protests too much.  "I just don't know how to fake it.  What do I say?  Who do I talk to?"

"Well, you talk to me all the time."

"… Well," Jack says.  "Mostly, you talk to me."

Bitty scrunches up his forehead, confused, considering.  "Was that a joke?"

"Maybe," Jack says.

"Then you, my friend, are golden."  Bitty puts his hand on Jack's shoulder, which is a shot of not-caring that's better than any drink.  "As for who to talk to," Bitty continues, "Do you see that tall guy in glasses over there?"  Jack follows Bitty's pointing finger.  The indicated guy in the plastic laurel-leaf crown is about the only face that he can see, over the sea of bobbing heads that fills the room.  "That's my friend Holster.  He's one of the hosts, he and Ransom - I'm not sure where he is.  And he's super easy to talk to, I promise."  Jack's doubt must be showing, because Bitty presses on," C'mon, I introduced you to Lardo.  Have I steered you wrong yet?"

"No," Jack agrees, still doubtfully.  Bitty's hand is back on his shoulder again, and this time it's pushing him to go away, so - Jack squares both of his shoulders.  He knows he does have a choice about this, but he doesn't want to disappoint Bitty.  "I'm going in."  Which doesn't make sense, probably, which must be why he hears Bitty laugh behind him.  Except for how it totally does.  Jack weaves and genty pushes his way through the room like it's a minefield, like his fellow partygoers are the mines and it's his job to establish a beachhead.  He doesn't think about where he's going because he doesn't know what he's going to do when he gets there.

Only this is a shitty college party in a shitty just-off-campus apartment, which means that far too quickly Jack's crossed the room, and has reached what's supposed to be his destination.  Bitty's friend Holster leans casually against the wall, red solo cup in hand, dressed in - apparently, only - a sheet draped in a highly inaccurate and suggestive attempt at imitating a toga.

Next to him is a Leafs poster, for which Jack is briefly wildly and inappropriately grateful.  Hockey is still one of the two or three things that he does know how to talk about.

"Are you a Leafs fan?" Jack asks.

"Nope," Holster says, coming alive with a start.  "This is my best friend's poster.  The Sabres one down there - " he indicates it with a nod - "is mine."

"Oh.  Okay.  I was going to say, sorry about your team."

"Ransom!" Holster yells.  "Get over here!  Someone's shit talking your team!"

A tall dark-skinned guy appears from down the hallway that Jack and Holster had been talking near.  "Great," he says, "I love shit talking my team."

"I didn't mean it like that," Jack protests.  "They're not that bad right now.  They've been doing better.  They got into playoffs the last what, two, three years in a row?"

"Three," Ransom says.  "Yeah, okay.  But their defense still sucks."

"Seriously," Holster says.  "So much."

"They've got a few good goal-scorers," Jack argues.

"Sure," Ransom agrees.  "But when the puck's on their ice, they're like a sieve."

"Fucking useless," Holster agrees, and the two of them share a low high-five.

"Well," Jack says.  "I don't see either of you out there.  It's easy to criticize when you know you won't have to try to do any better."

"And that's why I didn't try to endter the Draft after Juniors," Holster says, meeting Jack stare for stare.

"My family never would've let me skip college," Ransom says.  He slings an arm around Holster's shoulders, and pulls him closer.  "But the two of us were the top D-pairing at our college for three years running."

"And we're still not NHL caliber," Holster continues.  "And we know that.  So, yeah, I do think it's fair for us to criticize the people who are up there.  That's part of what they signed up for."

Jack takes several deep breaths in succession.  This conversation isn't about him, his therapist would say.  And when he doesn't want to say any of the things that come to his mind, remember that saying nothing is, in fact, a legitimate option.  It's not necessarily a failure.  And he doesn't have to stick around if he really doesn't want.

Ransom and Holster both drink from their cups.  Jack wishes his hands weren't empty.

"So," Holster says.  "How did you hear about this fine party?"

"Bitty."  Who's right now, Jack sees, staring intently up and laughing at some random dude, the long lines of his legs and neck all leaning in like a plant to sunshine.  The other guy looks like Jack used to look.  More muscle, less obvious fat.

"You having a good time?"  Ransom laughs, maybe at Jack's staring, and Jack makes himself stop.

"You, definitely," Jack says, though he'd bet it's obvious that he's not.  "It's a nice party."

"Bud," Holster says.  "You are holding neither a drink or a girl on your arm."

"Now a guy," Ransom says.  "Bitty always reminds us about that, remember."

"Nor anyone of any gender," Holster continues.  "So I would say that means you're clearly not having enough fun."

"So, bro," Ransom says.  "Lay it on us.  What do you like?"

"Cuz between the two of us, we know something about everyone here tonight.  Help us out with this, and we'll help you."

"I…" Jack says, and there he gets stuck, brain stalling out, wheels spinning in place.  A foot to his left there's a picture of a dog drinking coffee taped up on the wall.  It's surrounded by flames, but the thought bubble says "this is fine."  Jack feels sympathy with that dog.

"C'mon," Holster says, "don't be shy," like he's doing it on purpose.

"If you want something else," Ransom says, though his sky-high eyebrows show he clearly can't imagine why that would be the case, people are doing something creative with all the liquor in the kitchen, and some tiny Asian chick's dominating the beer pong championship down the hall."  Ransom hooks a thumb over his shoulder in the direction from which he'd come, and Jack, much to his surprise, considers it.  Beer pong does involve beer, but… he wouldn't be drinking it to get drunk.  And he'd be limited by the game.  And it's not like he's never had a beer or two in the decade or so since he used to go to parties like this all the time.

"Thanks," he says, plotting out his escape route, when he's arrested by a hand on his arm.

"Jack!" Bitty says.  Jack just about faints from relief at seeing him there.  "How are ya doing?"

"Good," Jack says.  He can't help making the face that means 'two huge D-men are bearing down on me and I can keep going for a few more seconds but get open for me please by then.'

"But can I steal you?" Bitty asks.

"Yes," Jack says, emphatically.  He looks to Holster and Ransom to check with them - it's good manners, or something - but they shrug and nod like they couldn't care less.

"So, come on," Bitty says.  He grabs Jack by the hand, which surely can't be the first time?  But Jack thinks that it is.  He wishes his palms weren't sweaty right now.  Meanwhile, Bitty's saying, "This idiot, I forget his name, Chad something-or-other, was insulting my pies, and I need you to back me up.  It's ridiculous, really, because he says he doesn't even bake, but he also said that anyone could bake if they wanted to, and so he's qualified to judge me without even a taste?  I don't think so.  So then of course I said I had a huge fan of the pies here with me tonight, and if he'd just wait for me to get back…."  Bitty stops so abruptly that Jack bumps into him.

"Sorry," Jack mumbles, reflexively.

"I guess he didn't wait," Bitty says, looking around the room.  "No, I'm sorry.  It looks like I interrupted you for nothing, after all."

"It's alright," Jack says.  "I bet this guy left just now so he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong."

"Or he didn't wanna go two-on-one," Bitty says.  "Which means, I gotta say, if you're not gonna back it up, don't start shit.  So!  How'd you like Ransom and Holster?"

"Fine?"

"So does that mean you're ready for more introductions?"  Bitty's not looking at Jack anymore; he's already scanning the room.

"Please, don't," Jack says.  "Make me go back out there."

"Make you?"  Bitty looks startled.  "I'd never - I wasn't trying!  To?"

"Sure," Jack says.  He's shifting from one foot to the other and he wonders if his cat tail fell off.  He's all too aware of the ears sitting askew in his hair, and he can't even talk to Bitty, not in a foolproof way, cause he is such a fool, not without messing up.  Maybe he really shouldn't have come.

"So," Bitty says.  He shuffles closer, so Jack will be able to hear him over the noise.  "Did I ever tell you about my first college party?"

"No," Jack says.  It'd be the only answer even if Bitty had told him a million times.

"Well," Bitty says.  "I was a freshman.  Of course, since it was the first one."  He takes a drink from the plastic cup Jack hadn't noticed he'd been holding all this time.  "Ransom and Holster were there, too, okay.  And we were all on the hockey team at the time."  Bitty waves a hand up and down his body, illustratively, and Jack, who hadn't been thinking about his costume for quite some time, watches it maybe a little too closely.  "Surprising, right?  But I was a good player.  Well - anyway - the point is, yeah.  I got the first point in the first game of the season, so my teammates said I had to do a kegstand.  Now, at the time, I was inexperienced in the ways of alcohol."  Whereas currently Bitty's getting ever drunker, and leaning ever closer to Jack, like a geological time-lapse film of the Tower of Pisa.  "And I was literally shaking in my shorts.  They were little cute red ones, and I didn't fill 'em out too well, yet, then, so I put my hands under my knees, while I was wainting, and I could feel it in my legs.  I was literally shaking."

"What happened then?" Jack asks.  He's into the image Bitty's painting, honestly.

"Well, the kegstand was fine.  Or did you mean the party?  Cause - whoa.  That was the first time I ever hooked up with a guy, that night, and let me tell you - "

"Yes?" Jack says.

"Athletic boys - " Bitty says -

And then there's a loud crashing sound from somewhere outside the apartment.  Suddenly they're blanketed in darkness.  Jack can't see anything - not his own hands, not the walls, not Bitty's face.  He wonders if he'll panic, again.  But he doesn't seem to be.

"What the fuck," Bitty says.  Jack's pretty sure that hadn't been what he'd been going to say next.

"I think the power just went out."

"Yes, thank you.  I noticed.  Captain Obvious."

Jack winces, but it's true.  "So… should we evacuate, do you think?"

"Why?" Bitty asks.

"Well - if there's no power.  There's no light, there's not going to be heat…"

"My phone still works," Bitty says.  A second later Jack sees again a heavily shadowed image of Bitty's face, lit by the glow of the phone he's holding in his hands.  He notices, then, the various fuzzy patches of light scattered around the room, a couple more of which appear and one of which disappears while he watches.  Other people are doing the same thing, of course.

Jack spends a few seconds creepily staring at Bitty's face before eventually saying, "Well.  That's good, then."  The light from Bitty's phone goes back out.  And the amorphous roar of discussion that Jack had been hearing in the background of his brain the whole time was, he also noticed, giving way to an escalating sound of yelling from the direction of the kitchen.  "Do you think maybe we should go and see what's going on?  With all the noise?"

"That sounds like a good idea," Bitty says.  "Probably."

When they make their way into the kitchen, which is surprisingly easy given the lack of light and the aimless milling of the people in the room even when the light was on, Jack sees, by the lights of many phones, a whole bunch of liquor bottles set out on the table.  The sound that he'd heard from the other room resolves itself into comprehensible words - or, comprehensible, at least, for a relative sense of the word.

"Alcohol burns great," they hear Ransom saying.  "Do you know what's the most important part of every kids' chemistry kit?  It's an alcohol lamp."

"So should we pour a little bit of vodka into each of these empty beer bottles?"  Holster's already lining them up on the edge of the table.

"I'll look for something to make wicks with," volunteers a gangly ginger boy with ears that stick out to the sides.

"This sounds like such a bad idea," Jack murmurs to Bitty.

"Or you could not," says another guy - who Jack thinks might be Derek from Annie's - facing off from a distance of two inches or so against the previous guy who'd spoken.  "Hey, C, other C.  Back me up here."

"Says you," Bitty replies to Jack.  "I think it's exciting."

"I don't know what to say," a new voice says, and - Jack's pretty sure, this time, that he recognizes Chris Chow.  Is everyone Jack's met at Samwell here tonight?  "I think you both make good points."

"He literally didn't make a point," the ginger guy grouses.

A tall girl with stringy brown hair who's holding Chris's hand speaks over him.  "I think it's just a waste of good booze," she says, and that seems to be the signal for the rest of the people in the room to chime in on one side or the other, or both or none, until the air's full of noise and disagreement and Jack can't make out what any individual person is saying again.  He can't stand it, or any chance of the crazily dangerous scheme proposed winning, either, and he shoulders his way past a couple people to make it to where the original speakers were.

"CAN WE NOT START A FIRE," he says, in the most loudly projecting of the voices he'd once developed for talking over people during a hockey game, and everyone in the room shushes, and as far as he can see, turns to look at him.  "Sorry for yelling.  But, guys, a blackout is an emergency.  And the number one thing that makes them more dangerous is the fires that start when things fall, and short out, and so on.  We don't need to add to that."  The confidence in Jack's voice recedes as he talks, and the general murmur starts back up again.

Then there's a brief commotion at the entrance to the room, and Lardo appears, at the head of a small group of girls, all carrying glow sticks.  "Is someone talking about setting a fire in here?" she says.

"We weren't gonna set the room on fire," Holster objects.

"Yeah.  Of course not.  Just some bottles," Ransom agrees, and they high-five, again.  A beer bottle that had been sitting on the very corner of the table between them is knocked to the ground, and shatters.

A girl in a fox onesie who'd been holding onto Lardo's arm lets go of it and steps up, waving a bunch of glowsticks energetically over her head, semaphore fashion.  She proclaims, loudly, "LISTEN.  NO ONE SET ANY FIRES.  DID YOU SEE THE BEER BOTTLE THAT YOU JUST KNOCKED OVER?  WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF IT WERE BURNING?"

"Who is that girl?" Ransom whispers to Holster.  "i'm sure I'd remember if I'd met her before."

"I don't know either," Holster says.  "But I've gotta admit that she's right.  And she has an impressively carrying voice, too.  I bet you she'd make an amazing Elphaba."

"So, my bro, best friend of mine," Ransom says to Holster.  "What shall we do?  How can we rescue the free-falling reputation of our latest party from fizzling back to epic?"

"That is the question," Holster muses, stroking his chin in a display of thought.  "This is almost a unique opportunity.  There's got to be some way to take advantage of it."

"Maybe," Jack says, talking over them, "we should go outside and see if anyone else has started a fire."  Because this apartment probably doesn't contain all the idiots in the building, he thinks but doesn't say.

"Should we all go?" someone asks from the crowd.  Chris.  He's raising his hand, even.

"There's no need to," Bitty says.  He steps out from the crowd to stand at Jack's elbow, once again.  He's lit by the light of several other phones, and he doesn't even seem to have his out.  "We all have phones.  I'll just call Ransom or Holster if we see anything out there that you guys should know about."

"You're coming with me?" Jack says.  He's surprised but pleased.

"Well, of course.  I don't want you to get lost without me."  Jack could protest, but the Bitty's smile takes the incipient sting out of his words - and it makes him feel warm, too.  So he just smiles back.

"So," Ransom's saying behind them.  "If we'd known we were throwing a party in the dark, we would've got glow paint, of course."

"Can we play it like Seven Minutes of Heaven?" Holster wonders aloud.  "Like, we're all locked somewhere in the dark, it's like a huge closet.  Except we don't want to lock people in, of course."

As Jack and Bitty go down the stairs together sounds drift out to them from the building's other apartments.  Indistinct loud voices, and music that someone must be running off batteries.  There's nothing out of place, nothing alarming.  And no one else on the stairs, either.  Jack keeps looking back over his shoulder to make sure that Bitty is still following, which he is every time.

And when they've reached the bottom, and crossed the small lobby, past the tile walls and the mailboxes, and opened the door to the outside, Bitty pressing so close behind Jack that Jack could swear that he feels his breath, his warmth, his aura, or something - they're both viciously attacked by the rain.  It lashes freezing down out of the sky, as Jack and Bitty let the door swing shut behind them and try in vain to huddle into the shelter of what would be the building's shadow.  There's no overhang to protect them: it's a solid block of brick.  The rain stings Jack's face and his hands sharply as it's driven against him - against both of them - and he would have tried to plan something to combat it if he hadn't forgotten about it.  Forgotten why they had to come out here in the first place.

"My car's not far," Bitty yells, almost in Jack's ear, over the sound of the wind beating the rain against the trees.  "Is yours closer?"

Jack shakes his head.  Water splatters unpleasantly into his ears, and probably onto Bitty.  "I just jogged over."

"Okay, then.  Let's run for it," Bitty says, and they do.

Even when they're both safely ensconced in the front two seats of Bitty's nondescript and mildly beat-up looking silver sedan, Jack can't seem to stop shivering.  He can hear Bitty's teeth chattering, too, from a good three or four feet away.  The rain that his clothes had kept at bay at first is soaking through them bit by bit, now, penetrating to and further chilling his skin.

"It's so cold," Bitty says, curled up into a kind of ridiculously appealing egg-looking shape.  "So cold, brrr, freezing, so cold."

"I wish I had a cloak," Jack says.  "So I could put it around you."

"Or, if I had a jacket, I could give it to you," Bitty says.  Even in its absence Jack flushes warm simply from imagining it.  "But I don't wanna turn on the heat and fog up the windows when we're supposed to be looking through them.  Maybe just for a little bit, though, it wouldn't hurt?  What do you think?"

"Sure," Jack says.  The engine purrs, the air dries out between them, and they both begin to shiver slightly less.

"So," Jack says, when he's finally closwer to 'damp' than 'wet,' and Bitty's just humming tunelessly under his breath.  "Can you believe what those guys almost did?"  He can't get over it himself.  Sure, groups of boys make dumb collective decisions, they're the opposite of risk-avoidant, but - to be that dumb?  Maybe, he's forced to admit, if he thinks about it.  It's really not a surprise.

"I know," Bitty says.  His knees are still drawn up almost to his chin, and his arms are wrapped around his doubled-up bare legs.  "It's a good thing you were there to stop them."  Bitty's looking up, now, at Jack, the same way he was looking up earlier at the other guy at the party.

Jack couldn't have remembered right then that he didn't stop anybody from anything if you'd paid him a million dollars.  Not that he needs a million dollars.  "What do you think they're doing in there right now?" he asks.  Bitty unfolds in his direction just a little bit more.  He puts his legs down from the seat sideways, so that they're right by the gearshift, and leans his chin on the palm of his open hand.

"I have no idea.  But I guess we'll see it if there's anything too exciting?"

"And from a safe distance," Jack adds.  Bitty makes a horrified squeaking sound.  "What?  You're the one who said, too exciting!"

"Oh my gosh," Bitty says, but he sounds delighted.  "How could you say that."

Jack preens under the words that feel like praise.  And then, because he's been starting to suspect it, in the last few minutes, and he'd like to know, he asks, "Are you flirting with me?"

"Why, Mr. Zimmermann!" Bitty says.  He leans back in his seat, hand to his heart, while Jack notices absently that he feels almost entirely dry by now, and so Bitty must too.  Bitty's making a theatrically shocked expression.  Which isn't an answer, either.  "How could you say such a thing!"  Which, Jack guesses, is probably a 'no.'  He thinks.

"Now," Bitty says, "it looks like my friends and their friends haven't managed to blow themselves up yet.  Or burn anything down.  I'd say we're probably safe, so, how much longer do you think we need to stay out here for?"

"Are you getting bored?" Jack asks.  "Because you can go, if you want."

"I'm nowhere near bored," Bitty says.  His eyes are as wide and dark as the night sky stretching out around them.  Still.  Jack's horrible at reading at people.  "I was just saying.  Don't you want to go back in?"

"Not really," Jack says.  His clothes are getting clammy, and his tail's wedged uncomfortably under his ass, and he's wearing cat ears in his hair for no reason at all anymore, but, all in all, he'd rather be here in Bitty's car with Bitty even than back home alone by himself, much less than a loud and unpredictable party full of strangers and drink.  "You can tell me more stories right here."

"Are you gonna tell me stories, too?"

"If you want to," Jack promises.  He doesn't know what stories to tell, but maybe Bitty will help him with that, too.

"I do," Bitty confirms.  His smile is as sweet as his pie.  "So, where was I?  Let me see," and then Jack misses the start of the story he'd asked for, because a sudden change in the picture out of corner of his eye catches his attention.  They'd forgotten to watch the building in all their watching each other, and now a flame has appeared, flickering orange against the dark black night, in one of the upper floor windows.

"Bitty," Jack says, urgently.  "Look.  There's a fire."  He fumbles for his phone in the uncooperative wet denim of his pocket while Bitty wakes up the phone that's already in his hand.

"I'm calling Ransom," Bitty says, scrolling frantically through and stabbing at the screen, "You call 911, okay" - and Bitty holds his phone up to his ear, while Jack dials with figners that don't feel like his own.

"There's a fire," he says, voice sounding distant and echoey, "at - fuck.  Bitty.  What's the address?"  Bitty gives it to him, quickly, and Jack repeats it just as quickly as he can into the phone, as he sees the doors to the building open up through the rain-spattered windows of Bitty's car and people come spilling out of it.  Bitty's saying something into his phone, now, as the operator tells Jack, voice discordantly even and pleasant and mild, that the trucks have already been dispatched to their location.  He's not the first person to have reported it, but thank you for calling, and Jack hits the call end button in the middle of a sentence and sinks back, shaking, into his seat in relief.

"Ransom and Holster are staying at my place tonight," Bitty says, and in a little more than a minute they're all packed into Bitty's car, and Bitty's asking Jack for his address to drop him off at.  He stares at the rain through the windows, but in the end it's only the fact that Bitty needs to bring Ransom and Holster home with him that stops Jack from inviting Bitty to come up to his place instead.  Not for any particular reason, but just because the night doesn't feel like it's quite completely over.

It is, though.  Jack opens the door to his apartment alone in another minute, accompanied only by the rain on his clothes and the smell of smoke that he has the feeling will never come off.

[dennissawyer-blog]

My Screenplay. I know it's not written in the most traditional way, But I was writing it on my phone. Please be nice, and tell me what you thought of it.

In the car silent. Cody: How is this school? Child service lady: Its a school. Cody: But is it a good one? Child service lady: Its a school for teenagers with special needs. Cody: ....Why I'm I here again? Child service Lady: Because your aunt placed you here. Cody: (Sights)...When do we get there? Child service Lady: Soon. Cody: Dammit, you don't need to be so fucking secretive you know? I'm not gonna escape Again. Child service Lady: Yeah, I'm not gonna take that chance. Cody: I thought Child Service ladies were supposed to Nice. Child service Lady: I've already tried to be nice. It didn't work out that well, remember? Cody: (Sighting) Whatever. Parks in front of the school. Child service Lady: Here we are. Cody: its a shithole. Child service Lady: Then you get exactly what you deserve, don't you? Cody: Fuck you. (Child service Lady stares at Cody ugly) Child service Lady: Let's meet the principal, he's expecting us. (Cody looks back, considering bailing.) Child service Lady: Don't you fucking try, come on now. (Walking towards the entrance) Child service Lady: You better behave, or you'll meet the consequences. (They walk in, and Cody looks around) (They're heading to the office) Secretary: Hey, what can I help you with? Child service Lady: We have an appointment with Principal Anderson, at eleven 'a' clock. Secretary: Ok, why don't you sit down and wait, while I call him. Child service Lady: Thank you. (They're sitting down) Cody: So, how's the your kid? Child service Lady: What now? Cody: Your son, how is he? Child service Lady: He's doing fine, he just started school. Cody: How old is he now? Child service Lady: He's 5. Cody: Name? Child service Lady: Phillip. After his father. (Cody is about to say something, but gets interrupted by the principal) Principal Anderson: Hey, nice to see you, my name is Trevor. Child service Lady: Shirley (shakes hand. Trevor: And you must be Cody. Nice to meet you. (Shakes hands with Cody). Shall we get into my office? ( Walks in into the office, and sits down) Trevor: Would any of like a beverage? Coffee, Water? Shirley: i'd love some coffee. Trevor: What about you Cody? Cody: I'm fine. Trevor: Alright, So we're here to talk about what you're supposed do here . (Secretary brings Coffee to Shirley) Trevor: Apparently you're kind of a naughty boy aren't you Cody? Cody: I guess we can say so. Trevor: Ok, I'm gonna talk about some The rules and some of your medical history. Cody: Sure. Trevor: You have to clean your room, weekly, as well as your stuff, if it needs cleaning. You have to meet up on every Class, Starting at nine'o'clock till eleven'o'clock and the second class, twelve thirty to two'o'clock. And the third class, starting at two fifteen till four'o'clock. Got it? Any questions? Shirley: So, what is he suppose to do the rest of the day? Trevor: Well, he can get a job, or simply visit our gym. He certainly looks like he goes to the gym. Apparently you've been doing MMA for 7 years. You can go to the boxing gym downtown. It's free. Um, you can do homework, go to the library. Plenty to do. You good? Shirley: Yes, continue. Trevor: There's no smoking or drinking here, as well as no drugs, like Kokain, weed, ecstasy etcetera etcetera. No lady visits in the boys dorm, as well as visiting the ladies in the girls dorm. Cody: You're killing my weekend here. (Trevor is laughing at it) Trevor: Do you use any medical drugs? Cody: Just some pills. Shirley: It's more than just " pills" isn't it? Cody: ...Um...i (Trevor interrupts) Trevor: You don't need to tell me, i can talk about the medical related stuff with Shirley later. Shirley: Continue. Trevor: Obviously you can't bully anyone. Can I trust you with that? Cody: Of course. Trevor: Well, that should be it. I can talk about the rest with Shirley here. In the meantime, you can get a list with rules and the key to your room from Betty okay? Then you Can wait There. Cody: Okay. Trevor: you'll be starting tomorrow, so remember to wear your uniform then. Cody: Fine. Shirley: I'm Gonna talk to you when i'm done, so don't go anywhere. Cody: Fine by me. (Goes to the secratary) Cody: List of rules and a Key to my room. Secretary: Are you Cody Hopkins? Cody: You got that right. (Secretary gives the list and The key) Cody: Thank you. (On his way to the dorm) (A Boy sits on the bench outside) Boy: You new here? (Cody nods) Boy: I'm Norman. Cody: Cody. Norman: (He's laughing) Why are you so quiet? I'm not gonna bite. (They shakes hands) So, Why are you here? Your momma don't like you? That's what happened to me. Cody: This is the only school that would except me. Norman: So you're the dangerous kind eh? Cody: Sure we can say that. Norman: (laughing) I like you, wanna go in? I can buy you a soda if want. Cody: I'm fine, thank you. Norman: Do you got autism? Cody: What the fuck? No. Norman: Hey, I was just asking, since you barely give me any eye contact. My brother has it. Cody: Well, I don't have it, that's for damn sure. Norman: Alright, cool. See you around then. Cody: I'm sure. (Cody walks in the dorm, and sees all the mess around) (Cody unlocks the door in his room, and let go of his baggage, and looks around) Cody: Well this will be fun. (Cody Lies down for a minute, and gets a call from Shirley) Cody: Sup? Shirley: Can you meet me outside the dorm? Cody: Sure. (Cody meets Shirley outside of the dorm) Cody: Hey. Shirley: So, I will be leaving now. Here's some money (gives Cody money). Now you better behave, and take your damn pills ok? Cody: Fine....Thank you. (Cody walks in and goes to the public bathroom) (Cody looks at the dirty Toilet) Cody: Ew..(takes out his junk and takes a leak) (A couple of kids walk in) Kid 1: Haha, did you see Sheldon Cry like a bitch? He's such a pussy. Kid 2: Yeah, we should beat him up again later after class today. Kid 1: What do we have again? Kid 2: Math. Kid 1: Where should we jump him? Kid 2: Let's do it here. Make him drink some of that toilet water. Plus the teachers won't see it. Kid 1: How will we get him in here though? Kid 2: Let's watch the front door. He can't go to his dorm without entering it. Kid 1: Alright, bump it. We gotta get to class. (Sheldon is sitting on his desk) (Sheldon does a test) (Sheldon looks back at the bullies) Teacher: Okay everyone, turn in your tests,and then you can leave. (Sheldon turns in his test and leaves the classroom) (Sheldon looks around for bullies) (He sees Norman) Norman: Yo Sheldon! Sheldon: What? (With a low voice) Norman: You got My homework? I need it today. Sheldon: (gives Norman his homework) I Haven't done your Math yet. Norman: Sheldon, I needed it today. (Sighs) You still got a couple of hours to finish it. Sheldon: I have to do my own too. Norman: Sheldon, you said you were gonna do it. Sheldon: Fine, I'll do it right away. (Walks into his dorm)...(And out of nowhere he gets grabbed, and dragged into the bathroom) Kid 1: Hey Sheldon, What's up? You going somewhere? Did you tell on us again? Sheldon: No (saying it with a low and scary voice) Kid 1: Well then, that means you only gonna get a little beating then, haha. Sheldon: Fuck You (Tries to run away) Kid 2: Where are you going! (Grabs Sheldon) You think you can just insult us, and runaway? (Slams Sheldon on the bathroom stall) Sheldon: Just leave me Alone! (Punches kid 2 in the face) Kid 2: Motherfucker! (Grabs Sheldon and punches him) Who the fuck do you think you are?!? We fucking own you bitch! (Kicks him, while Kid 1 looks at him at shock) (Kid 2 looks at Sheldon closely) Kid 2: Listen here asshole, you- (Kid 2 gets kicked by a foot) (It's Cody. He Knocks down Kid 1, and then Stomp on Kid 2's hand) (Cody Grabs Kid 2) Cody: If I see you anywhere Near this Guy again, I will personally break your fingers one by one. I know that I will get away with it , because the teachers here don't give a shit. But I don't have to worry about the teachers anyway do I? Because you're not gonna tell on me right? (Kid 1 is about to attack Cody) Sheldon: Watch out! (Cody kicks Kid 1 in the stomach) Cody: Stay the fuck away from him, and shut your mouths about me. I'll fucking hurt you both. (The kids walks out) Cody: You fuckers disgust me!. (Looks at Sheldon) Cody: Are you okay? (Offers hand) Sheldon: I'm fine, thank you. Cody: You sure as hell can take a beating. I kind of respect that. Sheldon: Well, this isn't my first time I've gotten my ass beaten, even today. Cody: Who are those guys? Sheldon: Well, The Watcher is Russell, and the maniac is Glenn. They're probably the biggest assholes in this school. I think Glenn has ADHD. Cody: So I just beat up and threatened a mentally disabled guy? Sheldon: Pretty much...He deserved it though. Cody: Haha, That's true. I'm Cody (raises hand to Shake) Sheldon: Sheldon ( Shakes hands) Cody: Shall we Get out of the bathroom? People might think we're doing something "Sinful". Sheldon: Haha, sure. Cody: Why don't you give me a tour around the dorm? I could use it. Sheldon: Well, Obviously this is the bathroom. Used for shitting and pissing, and something Drowning. (Goes out of the bathroom) This is the "Living room", here you can watch Tv, play video games, watch porn if you're lonely, and preferably alone. (They looks at the doors) These rooms are for sleeping, homework (although no one does their homework), fucking if you're lucky ( the ladies aren't as slutty here), you know, what rooms are for. Cody: Thank you for the tour...I guess. So, what do you for fun? Sheldon: Didn't Principal Trev tell you? Cody: He talked about the Gym and the library. You know...stuff most of us don't do. Sheldon: Well, There's a carnival downtown. A Skatepark, mini golf course, Arcade, movie theater and a gym for boxing. Cody: And where can we eat? Sheldon: Well up here it's the cantina, downtown is McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell - you know...every fast food restaurants ever. There are some BBQ restaurants too, but my favorite is Jack's Lobsters place. It might have something to do with my love for Lobsters, as well as the prices aren't that bad. Plus The owner Is a nice guy. Cody: Jesus, it looks like Principal Trev left me out on the details. Did he ask you to do it for him or something? (Cody laughs). Sheldon: Of course he did. He's a busy man. (Sheldon says sarcastic). Cody: Haha, Well the day is still young, so you wanna go to that lobster place? Sheldon: Sure fam. That'd be nice. Cody: Well, you're the one who has to lead the way. I don't know where it is. Sheldon: I'd be my pleasure (Sheldon says sarcastically) (They walk out of the door) (They see a fellow student being harassed) Bully: Jimmy, I told you to give me 10$ till today, Or I would beat you up. Jimmy: But I don't have 10$. Bully: (grabs Jimmy) Listen here dipshit, 20$ tomorrow, of you'll regret it. Cody: You know this Isn't the way to make him kiss you right? Bully: The fuck did you say? Cody: What? The reason you're bothering little Jimmy here, is because you're probably into him right? Bully: (punches Jimmy in the stomach) That one is on you. If you don't want Jimmy to get hurt even more, you better shut up. (Cody walks towards the Bully) Cody: Run Jimmy! (Cody yells, as He punches the Bully). From tomorrow, you're the one that's gonna give Jimmy 20$ okay? Bully: The hell? Why the fuck would I do that? (Cody kicks The bully in the chest) Cody: Because I just told you so dumbass. 20$, and you're gonna give it to him personally. If you don't, or tries to do anything else, I. Will. Make. You. Hurt. Okay?...OKAY? (Kicks the bully in the chest again) Bully: Okay okay! Cody: Now, what's your name? Bully: Brady. Cody: Hmm, I don't think I want to call an inhumane person that. I'm gonna give you a nickname. Any suggestions? (Looks at Sheldon and Jimmy) Jimmy: What about Cunt? Haha. Cody: That's a good one. (Looks at Brady) What do you think of Cunt, Cunt? Cunt: Fuck you. Cody: Cunt it is then! (Everyone start laughing) now, remember the 20$ Alright? Cunt: Yes, I'm giving it to him tomorrow. Cody: You better. (Looks at Jimmy) are you ok? Jimmy: Yeah, I appreciate the help. Cody: I'm Cody (they shakes hands). Jimmy: Jimmy. Are you new here? Cody: Starting tomorrow. Jimmy: I'll see you around then. Cody: Most likely. (Jimmy walks away) Sheldon: Are you planning on fighting everyone? Cody: Pretty much. Sheldon: At least you're making friends. Cody: How about that Lobster place? Sheldon: You wanna walk or take the bus? Cody: Let's walk. Sheldon: It'll take about 25 minutes to walk. Cody: Fuck me, that long? (In a sarcastic voice) Sheldon: I guess we'll be walking then. (They start walking towards the sunset, even though it's still light as day) (Inside the lobster place) Owner: (Talking on the cellphone) I need fresh Lobsters till Monday! .....You can't give it to me on Wednesday, that'll be two days without lobsters, and this is a lobster place!.....Is there someway I can get them on Monday? .... (sighs).....fine.....yeah bye. (Sees Cody and Sheldon entering) Owner: Hello Sheldon! I see you have gotten yourself a boyfriend. (Laughing). Sheldon: Screw you. (They sit down) Jack: What will it be? Sheldon: You know what I want. Cody? Cody: Same. Owner: Sorry guys, there isn't any Lobster at the moment. Sheldon: Maaaan. Wanna go somewhere else? Cody: Was kind of looking forward to the lobster you wouldn't shut up about. Owner: Aaaaw, I can't see you disappointed. There's one lobster left. Sheldon: Thank you Jack. Jack: Always my friend....say, can you help me with something Sheldon? Sheldon: Definitely. Cody: Do you need some extra arms? Jack: That's okay, Sheldon will do. (Sheldon and Jack goes to the back room) (Cody Listen to the radio) (Cody looks at his phone) (looks at a certain Picture of a woman named Chloe) (Cody texts her) Cody: How are you? (Cody waits for a response) (Has a worried look on his face) Chloe: Hey There, i'm fine. How are you? Have you reached the school yet? (Cody smiles) Cody: I have, Even gotten myself a friend already. Well, i think He will become one at least. His name is Sheldon. Chloe: That's Nice to hear. Hope you'll like it There :). Cody: Haha, so do I. (Sheldon walks toward Cody) Sheldon: Sorry to keep you waiting. (Cody puts his phone In his pocket) Cody: NP. Sheldon: NP? Cody: No problem. Sheldon: Oh. (They're being awkwardly silent for a second) Cody: So, do you have any hobbies or something? Sheldon: I play video games mostly. Cody: Cool, What games? Sheldon: Grand Theft Auto, Need For Speed, Fallout, Elder Scrolls, The Witcher 3. Those are games I play regularly. Cody: The Witcher 3 is such an awesome game. Sheldon: You play Witcher 3? Cody: I play most of the games you said you play. Sheldon: Xbox one or PS4? Cody: Xbox One. Sheldon: My man (fist bump). What's your favorite game? Cody: Gameplay - Red Dead Redemption, Story - The Walking Dead Season one. Sheldon: Those are some awesome games brah. Cody: What about you? Sheldon: Story - Mass Effect 2, Gameplay - Mass Effect 2. Cody: Bro, We need to play Something together. Grand Theft Auto, Battlefield, Titanfall, All the games. Sheldon: What's your gamertag? Cody: The Beautiful Gretchen. Sheldon: What? Why'd you pick that? Cody: Wanted to see if some lonely gamer boys would pay attention to me, if they thought I was a girl. Sheldon: Well, have they? Cody: You bet. Sheldon: (laughs) Alright then, I'll add you later. I'm TenSpoon. (Jack walks toward The boys with the lobster) Sheldon: Yummy, I can't wait for you to try it Cody. Cody: Looking forward to it. Jack: I hope you'll enjoy it my friends. (Cody takes a bite, and then it cuts to black) (Cuts to a girl named Henrietta) Girl 1: You know, I think Leon's into you. Girl 2: Our teacher Leon? Girl 1: (laughing) Yeah. Girl 2: Ew. Girl 1: I think he's cute. Henry: He's also 31. Girl 2: And has a wife I believe. Girl 1: Then I'll take him then. Girl 2: Be my guest. (They're about to enter Jack's Lobsters, and they see Cody And Sheldon walk out) Cody: They're out of Lobsters, just to let you know. Henry: Are you serious? It's a Lobster place! Cody: Sorry, we ate the last one. It was delicious. Girl 2: Where should we eat then? Girl 1: Tacos? Henry: You know, I'm not that hungry. I think I'll go home and take a nap. Girl 1: If that's what you want so. See you later? Henry: I'm gonna do some homework, so I think don't so. Girl 2: Alright, see you tomorrow then. Henry: Bye. (Henry runs towards the bus stop) Henry: They're not here, what the fuck? Did they walk? (She takes the bus, and looks out of the window, looking for Cody and Sheldon) (After the bus takes off, she sees them) (The bus reaches the school, and she walks out) (she then waits for them outside the dorm room) (She smokes a cigarette while waiting) (She sees them going toward their dorm) Henry: Hey! (Bumps cigarette) Cody: Didn't we see you outside the Lobster place? Henry: Yeah. Say, do you smoke? Cody: I don't. Don't know about Sheldon here. Henry: Do you? Sheldon: No. (He's saying in a shy voice) Henry: Fuck. Well, let's hangout anyway. Cody: Wanna Come in? Henry: Do you know that there isn't allowed to have a Girl in the boys dorm? Cody: You're not gonna tell on us are you? Henry: Of course not. Will any of you? Both: No. (they both look at each other) Henry: Good then. My name is Henrietta, but you can call me Henry. Cody:I'm Cody and this is Sheldon. Henry: Nice to meet you Sheldon. Sheldon: Likewise. (With a shy voice) Henry: Why are you so silent? Sheldon: I don't want to interrupt you two. Henry: Ok? Haha, you're funny dude. Cody: I guess we should go in then. Henry: Yes, please. (The crew Walks in, and enter the room) Sheldon: So why did you chase after us? Henry: what? Sheldon: Shouldn't you still be at Jack's Lobster? Henry: Well, I wanted to ask Cody something. Sheldon: I think he might be gay. Henry: It's not about tha- (having a shocked expression) Really? Huh. Anyway, it's about something else. Sheldon: Like what? Henry: I think I've seen him before, that's it. (Cody walks out of the bathroom) Cody: I'm sorry everyone, I have to go. I'm meeting a friend. Henry: Anyone we know? Cody: Doubt it. (Puts on his shoes). Feel free to stay here if you want, but remember to lock the door when you leave. Henry: Got it. Cody: And please don't have sex on my bed. (Sheldon gets an embarrassed face) Henry: Haha (sarcastic laugh) Cody: (Cody gives a smile) See Ya. Henry and Sheldon: Bye. (They both look at each other, because they said the same thing) Henry: Jinx. (They both stare at each other) Henry: What do you want to do? Sheldon: Have sex on Cody's Bed. (With a face expression hoping it was funny, not creepy) Henry: (Laughing) You Wish. Sheldon: So where do you think you've seen Cody before? Henry: That's what's bothering me, I don't know where. Sheldon: He does MMA, so maybe related to that? Henry: I don't watch MMA, so it sure as hell doesn't have anything to do with that. Sheldon: We should look it up. (Picks up Phone) Do you know his last name? Henry: No. We should ask Our Principals Secretary. Sheldon: Betty? Henry: Her name is Betty? Sheldon: Yeah. Henry: That's hilarious. Sheldon: Why? Henry: There were secretary before named Betty in another School. She got arrested for drugging and raping Black Students. She's Principal Trevor's Sister, so he could probably get her a job here. Sheldon: Why would she feel the need to drug me? I'd be down to fuck her anyway. (Henry laughs very loud) (Then Sheldon starts laughing) Henry: You're funny Dude. How come you were so silent earlier? Sheldon: I'm shy...Anti social. Henry: nah dude, you're cool. Let's go to Betty, so we can find out who Cody is. Sheldon: I'll make sure to bring the lube. (Henry starts laughing) (Cuts to Cody) (He walks in a bar) Bartender: How old are you? Cody: I'm just gonna hang here. I'm waiting for a friend. Bartender: (looks uncertain if that's true) Fine. Cody: I'll take a coke though. (Bartender gives Cody A coke) (Cody sits down on a booth) (Cody looks out, waiting for his friend) (Cuts to Cody And Henry) (Henry talks to the secretary) Henry: Hey there Betty. Betty: Good day. How are you doing? Henry: We're fine. We're just asking if you Have the Cellphone number to a student here. He starts here tomorrow. Betty: Why do you want that persons number? Henry: He's a friend of mine. Haven't seen him in a while. His name is Cody. Betty: Okay (picks up a catalog of the students portfolio) 45- Henry: Could I just see for myself? Betty: That's not allowed dear. Henry: Oh, c'mon. Why not? Betty: It's against the schools policies. Henry: Can I just get the number then? Betty: I'm sorry, I almost messed up by giving you the number. Cody doesn't want people to know his personal info. Not even his last name. Henry: Aaaaw. Thanks anyway. Betty: I'm sure you'll find him around here. (She starts smiling) (Henry Nods back) (Henry and Sheldon walks out) Henry: What the Fuck? Why is he so secretive? Sheldon: Maybe because he's afraid that people like us will find out something? Maybe he's a child billionaire. Henry: Wouldn't that be nice. (Cuts to Cody) (Cody sees his friend walk in) (The friend talks to the bartender) The Friend: One beer please. (The bartender gives him a beer) (He walks toward Cody and sits down) How are you pal? (We have not seen his face yet) Cody: I feel like shit again. It's seriously killing me. The Friend: You're lucky I was around. Do you want the usual? Cody: Yes. Give me all you got. The Friend: Well, if that's what you're asking for, you know my price. Cody: (breathes in regret) Fine. The Friend: Ok? Good (Gives Cody the Drugs). When I call for you, you'll come right? Cody: (Having an expression on his face, knowing what he accepts is wrong) Yeah.

[russellthornton]

What Men Find Attractive in Women: 18 Secrets Most Women Overlook

Ah yes, the ancient question. Almost all women wonder what men find attractive at some point in their lives. Well, fear not, here’s the answer.

I’ve spent way too many hours analyzing the acts of men I’ve been interested in. I know that I’m not the only one – can I get an amen, ladies?

Maybe I was looking at the wrong information. I clearly was because I was getting as much action as a wall. But, you don’t have to walk down my path. Please, I beg you, don’t do it. Times have changed, and with a little help from science *thank you, Bill Nye*, we can actually figure out what men find attractive. It’s about time!

What men find attractive in women

Believe it or not, there is no magic formula. You don’t have to look like a super model, be the next Martha Stewart, or a near-porn star. Nope, it doesn’t work that way. But get this – sometimes, it’s so obvious that we women overlook it. If you’ve always been wondering what men find attractive, here are 18 things to clue you in.

#1 Yourself. Listen, first and foremost, if a guy finds you attractive, it’s because of you. Sure, what you wear may help, but what comes out of your mouth is even more important. You want him to like you – and not only just your face and body. Because at the end of the day, that’s all gonna fade – I know, scary.

#2 Positive personality traits. Think about it for a second. When you’re talking to a guy, if he’s constantly negative and selfish, you don’t really want to be around him, right? So, it’s the same thing for men. They want to be around positive women. Women who are kind and uplifting. Not a Debbie Downer. [Read: How to attract men in a way they can’t resist]

#3 Easy on the melodrama. We all like watching The Jersey Shore, however, very few of us want to live it. Let’s take it easy on the melodrama. It’s okay to be dramatic, however, if some girl pushes you when you’re walking down the street, grabbing her head and slamming it into a wall is a little much. Men don’t want unnecessary drama.

#4 Can hang with the boys. All guys want a girl who will be able to chill with their friends and feel like she’s just one of the boys. There’s nothing worse than hanging with a girl who’s judging what he and his friends are doing. So, you need to learn to be one of the guys. [Read: How to keep a guy interested – 30 easy and super sexy ways]

#5 Honesty. Men find women who are honest to be the most attractive, specifically when it comes to finding a partner. One night stands are a different story… you don’t even have to know the person’s name.

However, if a guy’s looking to be with someone, they want someone who’s going to be truthful and trustworthy.

#6 Your smile. Men love women who smile. It makes sense, though. I mean, it shows that you’re positive, and smiling also gives you a glow that seems to attract people. By “attract people,” I mean men. Which is what you want, so, have fun and show off those pearly whites.

#7 A woman who stands her ground. Believe it or not, this is actually what men find attractive. Men like women who can hold their own ground. No one, man or woman, wants to be with someone who’s a pushover. That being said, we don’t want someone who’s equivalent to stone, but someone who will know where their boundaries are. [Read: 15 subtle traits that make a man fall in love with a woman]

#8 Feminine side. People always assume that showing your feminine side indicates that you’re fragile and weak – which is completely wrong. Everyone has a feminine side, and honestly, people do appreciate those who are able to confidently show it without shame.

If you want to wear heels, wear them. If you want to wear a sundress, wear it. If you want to wear bright pink lipstick, smack it on those lips. [Read: 20 hot tips – The ultimate guide to being more feminine]

#9 High-pitched voice. Interestingly, men find women with higher pitched voices to be more attractive. This is because it shows that those women are fertile, feminine, and youthful. Now, I have a deeper voice, so I’d like to think that science is wrong.

#10 Communication. Men can’t read your mind. I know, you want your life to be The Notebook, we all do. But Noah built that house because she told him to. So, the point is, you need to communicate. And if you do, he’ll find you that much more attractive.

#11 You have your own life. If you want to know one of the most important things about what men find attractive in a woman, it’s this. No one finds needy and clingy attractive traits. Not one person – unless you’re a control freak – then you’ve hit the jackpot.

But really, if you have your own life, men find the independence sexy, and also slightly relieving. [Read: 13 clear signs of a clingy girlfriend and ways to avoid being one]

#12 The color red. This seems to be the color that turns everyone on. Instinctively, red is the color that really gets men going. It shows sexuality and power… not a bad combination, right?

#13 Stroke the ego. This doesn’t mean you have to ooh and ahh at everything he does. However, men do love women who know when to stroke his ego. It could just be that you let him open the pickle jar – see, you needed him and he just loves it.

#14 Confidence. Confidence is sexy as hell. If you walk into a room with your head high, you’ll have every guy staring at you. Why? Because it looks like you don’t need them, and men love to chase what they can’t have. [Read: Why do men like a chase – And how to use this in your favor]

#15 Hip to waist ratio. This is science talking, not me. Apparently, men prefer a smaller waist and larger hips. This is because it’s connected to childbearing, thus, he’s more attracted to the hip to waist ratio. Now, this isn’t conscious, but it’s there in the back of their minds.

#16 Sexually expressive. When you’re sexually involved with a guy, they love it when you’re into it. No one wants to be with someone who’s dead silent, just laying there. They want you to interact, to be sexually expressive, and free. [Read: How to seduce a man who’s not yet yours]

#17 Ovulation. Who would have known? The pheromones that women release during ovulation are to blame for this attraction. When women ovulate, men become aroused. All those tampons and pads are apparently not a waste, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

#18 It’s all in the face. When men are looking for a long-term partner, they’re more concerned with a woman’s face than her body. This is because during sex men are more likely to stare at their partner’s face.

Now you get why women put more effort into their makeup than anything else. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together… finally.

[Read: Tired of chasing? How to make any guy want you instead]

Now that you know what men find attractive, well, the ball is in your court. Have fun playing this match, ladies! You’re going to love it.

The post What Men Find Attractive in Women: 18 Secrets Most Women Overlook is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.