#So Guess What? In My Theater Of The Mind She Puts It Up In A Wolf-tail When She Needs To Keep It Out Of Her Face And BOOM ALL BETTER!

[xaykwolf]

It baffles me that people really take "I prefer Yas.ha to be buff/have black streaks in her hair" to mean "Ashley DOESN'T know her character and her interpretation is NOT valid" like... y'all... BREATHE. Literally no one is saying that. Many of us have good reasons not to like specific choices in Yas.ha's new character art, but we all recognize that we are both not in control of Ashley's decisions nor the final arbiter of what Yas.ha looks like.

To the people who think the black streaks are indicative of her trauma, and that's why it's GOOD that they're gone, I ask you to think for a moment why you believe markers of trauma do/should go away completely. I'm not even arguing at this point that that's what Ashley was intending, but that seems to be a common sentiment in the fandom. That Yas.ha's hair is an indicator of healing. (Whereas I'd always figured her smiling, talking, and asserting herself more often were already good enough indicators. But what do I know, with decades of my own trauma and years of psychological training? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Also...I feel it needs to be said aloud: biology would suggest that, in a more stable, safe, and nutrient-consistent environment with access to bodybuilding equipment, Yas.ha's muscles would GROW from what they were when she was on the run, swordfighting to survive and without a consistent source a nutrient-rich foods (with the exception of her life with the Nein after Obann, with Caddy to make meals). Again, the art is what the art is. Most of us who like her buff...well I think it's kinda obvious why that is. Any dissatisfaction I've seen has also only been expressed with personal posts, none of which were designed to get back to Ashley or the character art artist. So like...let us be thirsty and move on.

[cookinguptales]

You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

[meggtheegg]

FNAF Movie Theory...

I'm pretty sure there's still one major plot twist in the universe of the movie that's been set up for a sequel but hasn't actually happened yet. Heavy spoilers under the cut:

After watching the movie in theaters and then revisiting a few scenes on Peacock, I'm still kind of convinced that Mike Schmidt is Michael Afton.

Here's my reasoning. A lot of the characters spend time acting like they know something the audience/other characters don't, and those things are...mostly resolved. But some of them just...kind of aren't.

The main thing that sticks out to me is William's whole storyline. Starting with the scene where he offers Mike the job, his behavior is almost explained by the movie's logic. He sees Mike's name, seems...kind of deeply upset, looks at him very closely, stands to get coffee, and has a moment of visible internal conflict. Then he instantly offers him the Freddy's job. The way the movie frames this, it seems to be saying that he recognized the name of one of his victims, realized this was the kid's brother, and decided to kill him right then and there. Which is passable as an explanation, but it has a lot of holes, if you look deeper.

Why would William so instantly recognize a fairly common last name as the brother of some kid he killed that wasn't even anywhere near Freddy's? Why did he kidnap/kill Garrett in the first place, in some random forest in Nebraska? Why did he see the name on the file, then immediately stop and examine Mike's face so closely, when Mike's memories/dreams pretty clearly show that they never saw each others' faces when Garrett was taken? Why did he send Vanessa to "keep Mike in the dark" if he purposely gave him the job to get him killed? Why not have the animatronics kill him right away? He didn't know that Mike was searching for the man who took his brother, and while he could have maybe guessed he was still actively haunted by what happened based on Mike beating up a guy that he thought was kidnapping someone, it still feels like a weird choice to go and hire him, then just have him do the job with no issue for a few days.

As for Vanessa, we see that she's been cleaning up William's messes for years. Why is Mike the one she changes her mind and stands up to her father for? There's no implied romance between the two and no particularly meaningful connection beyond them both having family issues. I guess she cares about Abby because she's a kid, but kids getting hurt clearly never stopped her from helping her father before.

And, on a more meta level, this is Scott and his storytelling style we're talking about. The man puts plot twists inside of plot twists and everything always ties back into the Aftons, somehow.

So, here's my theory: I think that Mike is William's kid, but Mike's mom left Afton when he was young and remarried the man that Mike thinks is his father.

It seems convoluted and maybe cliche, but if it's true, then suddenly there's an answer to all of those questions. "Michael Schmidt" isn't exactly an eye-catching name, unless you had a kid named Michael and your ex-wife married a guy with the last name Schmidt. Garrett's kidnapping, then, becomes an act of intentional, petty revenge rather than an extremely random coincidence. Giving Mike the job and sending in Vanessa suddenly becomes about piecing together how much he knows and figuring out if he's worth trying to reconnect with or is just a threat that needs to be killed. (It feels worth noting that William is as far as I can remember the only person to call him Michael in the whole film. He also very pointedly never says "Schmidt" until he's decided to kill Mike and suddenly announces his full name out loud. If he went by Michael as a little kid, that is what William would default to calling him, but if he took the new husband's last name, that would be like like salt in the wound that he wouldn't want to voice. By finally saying it out loud, it feels like he's making the decision to fully separate himself from Mike.)

As for Vanessa, if Mike is her brother, it makes sense that he would be the person she'd turn against William to save. It would be weird for her not to tell him, but she could also be trying to protect him, in some way. There's never any mention of her mother, and it seems like it's just been her and William for a long time. Also, ending the movie with her in a coma feels like a strange narrative choice, but it makes sense if she knows information that's purposely being kept hidden for the sequel.

Of course, it could just be that the movie has kind of messy writing and I'm trying to fix it because I want there to be a deeper reason for it. Maybe there is no Michael Afton in the movies, or maybe he's off chilling and doing his own thing somewhere and we'll see him in the sequel. Only time will tell.

[mypoisonedvine]

eddie munson with 90. "is it just me, or does your celebrity crush look a lot like me?", with fem!reader

I didn't use the exact line of dialogue just the concept, I hope you don't mind! I love this request though!!

warnings: just fluff and a wee bit of angst along the way, friends to lovers, 'unrequited' love (the love is requited they are just stupid)

100 random prompts - send me a number and a character!

"Admit it-- you'd let him do anything he wanted to you," Robin laughed teasingly.

"Honestly? Yeah, probably," you agreed as you bit your lip.

"What if he's, like, a freak or something?" she wondered. "Like what if he's into something really fucked up?"

"It would still be hot, 'cause it's him," you decided.

"So if he came up to you right now, and said 'hey, you're cute, wanna come back to my place and take a bath with me in a tub of mayonnaise?' you would..." she prompted.

"I would ask if he knows where I can get bulk mayonnaise for a discount," you grinned.

"Ew! You hate mayonnaise!" she grimaced.

"Yes, but I love him," you explained.

Just then, Eddie hopped up to your table, straddling one of the attached benches with a smile. "Woah, who do we love?" he asked.

"Eddie, you can't just barge in to a private conversation," Robin corrected with a frown.

"Private? I can hear the girlish giggling from the theater room," he scoffed. "Besides, I wanna know the gossip. You've got it bad for somebody?"

He looked around the room as if he would figure out who it was by examining the students, but Robin shook her head. "It's not, like, a real guy. It's her celebrity crush."

"And future husband," you beamed.

"Would I know who it was if you said it?" Eddie wondered.

You thought about not telling him, but it didn't really matter, because Robin blurted it out. "Probably-- it's Kirk Hammett, from Metallica."

Eddie's eyes went wide for a second, before he grinned and leaned one arm against the table. "I guess I should take that as a compliment."

You laughed softly in confusion. "What?"

"You know-- 'cause I look like him!" he announced excitedly.

Robin tilted her head as he stared at Eddie. "Oh yeah!" she said. "You know, now that you say it--"

"No," you shook your head, "you're not like him."

"Yes I am!" he laughed, though it sounded more like a sound of bewilderment than amusement. "Come on, are you serious? People say it all the time!"

"Well, they probably just say it cause you play guitar."

"And the hair?!" he yelped, shaking his mane around for emphasis which made Robin snort.

"Lots of guys have long hair nowadays!" you rolled your eyes. "That doesn't mean anything. Robin's blonde, doesn't mean she looks like Goldie Hawn!"

"Wait, I don't?" Robin asked sarcastically, feigning offence.

"It's not just that-- you seriously don't see it?" Eddie pouted. "Look at me-- I mean, really look at me."

You did, narrowing your eyes slightly as you examined him; he held his arms out as if to show himself to you, which did give you a better view of his arms and ink, but you frowned and shook your head. "I just see Eddie," you shrugged.

He deflated a bit. "Right, well-- anyways, did we get Robin to share her celebrity crush?"

"That was the next order of business," you explained with a smirk, and you both put your attention on the girl across the table.

"Nope-- my lips are sealed," Robin assured.

"If we can guess her name, will you tell us?" Eddie asked.

"No, I'll never--" she started to insist, but the two of you were blurting out names already.

"Brooke Shields!" "Kim Basinger!" "Ooh, Annie Lennox!"

"Guys," Robin groaned, rolling her eyes, but she was starting to blush, too.

~

You and Eddie were sitting side by side on the ground, backs leaned up against the outer wall of the school; his knees were bent and his arms were draped over them, while you sat with your legs overlapping as you tied wildflowers from the lawn into a daisy chain.

"You're quiet," you noticed.

"So? There's not much to say," he replied.

"When has that ever stopped you from running your mouth?" you smirked, looking up at him, but he wasn't smiling back at you so yours sank. "You've been quiet for a while."

"Guess I'm not that peppy today," he decided, staring forward at his fingers as he mindlessly spun one of his rings around.

"Not today," you explained, "like, all week. Is everything okay?"

He shrugged a little as if to say, it doesn't matter.

"Seriously, just talk to me," you pleaded. "Whatever it is, I wanna help."

"You can't help, okay?" he snapped,

"I can't stop thinking about what you said," he admitted. "When you and Robin were talking about your celebrity crush--"

"Listen, Eddie, I'm sorry if I don't see a resemblance, but it's not that big of a deal--"

"No, no, not that," he sighed, "I meant... what you said after. That you just see Eddie."

You knit your eyebrows together, not sure what he was getting at. He finally looked back at you, and the sadness in his eyes made your breath catch.

"That's all you're ever gonna see, isn't it?"

You sighed a little, looking away for a moment. "Ed, not this again--"

"C'mon, babe, you know I'm crazy about you," he sighed, tilting his head until it leaned against the wall behind him. "And I know every excuse you've given me-- you're not ready for a relationship, you don't want to ruin what we have, you don't want to bring me into your messed up brain-- but if you're into this guy who looks like me but you don't want me then... then it must just be that I'm awful, right?"

"Eddie, no," you denied with a pout, but he scoffed and looked ahead again.

"It's okay, I get it," he sighed. "I wouldn't wanna date me either. You deserve all the fancy stuff, y'know? Getting driven to cool dates in a nice car, hanging out at his house and not, you know, a dirty old trailer--"

"I don't want all that stuff," you assured, moving in closer to him. "I want somebody sweet and fun and smart--"

"I knew it's 'cause I can't fuckin' graduate," he mumbled, but you put your hand on his arm to get his attention.

"Eddie, you're not listening to me," you scolded. "It's not you, it's me. And I know that's a cliche but it's true."

"How can it not be me?" he rolled his eyes. "I'm a freak, and a fuck-up, and a flunk-out, and you're basically perfect--"

"Oh my god, you're, like, my dream guy, okay?!" you spat out, louder than you meant to. He finally shut up, and looked at you like he could finally see it-- like he finally knew. "I always liked you," you continued, a little softer and shier than before, "but I knew if I... if we ever actually, you know, went for it, I'd just mess it all up. And you're the last person I'd ever want to hurt--"

He cut you off with a kiss: a sudden, sweet, hungry kiss that caught you off-guard for a second before you melted into it.

It wasn't that one kiss could make all your fears about a relationship go away... but it sure could make them seem a lot less important. And it definitely could help convince you that it was worth the risk.

When he pulled back, he held your face even as you tried to look away to hide it. "Sorry," he said, taking his hands away slowly, "I just had to do that."

"Oh, Ed," you hummed, "you're so cute I could die."

He got a little red in the face, which only made the cuteness more apparent. "Aw hell," he snorted, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "You think I'm cute 'cause I look like Kirk?"

"No," you smiled, "I like Kirk 'cause he looks like you."

[glossglamour]

Full Robert Sean Leonard 'House'-a-palooza Interview: "As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina."

May 01 2006 | By Maureen Ryan

Do you watch the show much?

"I can't watch it. I mean, Hugh doesn't watch it because he's anal and … eight years old. [laughs] And by the way, I don’t buy it, I think he does watch it.

“I watched in the first year. We live in New York and [my fiancé] was in California] and she likes it because I’m on it. But then she left, she had to come back to New York, and what are you going to do? The idea of me watching myself on TV, alone in Santa Monica, was just about... just short of, like, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a shotgun away from shooting myself. [much laughter]  So I haven’t watched it all season. But when I have watched it, I’ve been mildly confused and Hugh is appropriately grumpy."

I have this theory that a lot of my favorite shows aren’t even about what they’re supposed to be about -- they have to be set in a hospital or police station or outer space or whatever because the network can market that, but they’re secretly not even about that. Like, “House” is really about ethics and morality.

“Yeah, sure, I think that’s true.”

But you can’t pitch that show to the network. “Hey, we have this great show that examines personal morality!"

“‘It’s based on “A View from the Bridge.”’

Right! They’re really going to for that.

“Yeah. [laughs] I think it’s good, and when it’s right, when the show works, the mystery works. It has a Sherlock Holmes-ian feel to it, and you do kind of want to know what’s wrong with [the patients]. And it is interesting, the turns and twists that get you there. And there’s always a little bit of character-driven fun stuff in between, of who these people are and how they affect each other. And that’s it at its best. And I guess that could be true of any show.

“It’s tricky, you’ve got a lead character [who’s different from the TV norm] and you’ve got to be careful because those characters can be one-note. He’s the cranky guy, he’s the Australian guy, I’m the friend in one or two scenes a week. You just have to be careful, and I think we are, we have a really great team of writers. And the numbers are building, people are watching.”

So this two-parter on May 2 and 3, I think the unofficial subtitle is the “Festival of Foreman.” I guess they’re his Emmy episodes, and that’s fine. But you’re hardly in them, what’s up with that?

“Honestly, I’m okay. I don’t want an Emmy. This is what I want -- I know exactly what I want. I did play with a guy named Skip Sudduth, ‘The Iceman Cometh,’ seven years ago. I saw him five years later, and I said, ‘Geez, Skip, where have you been? I don’t see you at readings anymore.’ He said, ‘I’ve been on “Third Watch.”’ It sounded familiar but I’d never seen it. He said, ‘I’ve been doing it for five years.’ I said, ‘Holy crap!’ And he was back doing theater. That’s my dream.

“And it’s happening. I walk down the street and people say, ‘Where are you?’ and I say, ‘I’m on this show called “House.”’ My friend Lewis Black [from 'The Daily Show'] said, ‘What is it called? “Head”?’

“I’m okay. I’ve never been happier than where my career is now. And I don’t want it to change necessarily. Money’s good, and I’m glad I’m getting that, and I’m putting it away for later in life when I do more Tom Stoppard plays at Lincoln Center and make no money. But really, I’m great. I don’t mind working two days a week.

“Because those other guys, the Scooby gang, or the Mod Squad -- they are at that studio for 16 hours a day saying ‘tachycardia, lupus, blablahdeblah.’ Honestly, I’d kill myself if  had to do those scenes for that long. I’m very happy with the size of my role, I don’t want it to get any bigger. I’m happy.”

So we won’t see the very special “House” episode where Dr. Wilson almost dies?

“That might be how I get off the show.” [laughs]

Well, you could die and come back as a ghost. Then it would be the “House Whisperer.”

“Yeah [laughs]. The hair makeup people were saying one day, ‘Oh, I love those scenes with you and Hugh, there should be more of that.’ And I’m like, ‘Shhh! Don’t say that!’ I’m the luckiest man in Hollywood. I work only with Hugh, pretty much, who’s great. And I work two days a week.”

Do you fly back and forth to New York then?

"No, not really. They don’t let me because they need me around, the schedule changes so much. I’m going to try to get away with that a little more [in the upcoming season]. Now that [my fiancé] is here, I really will kill myself if I’m out there as much as I was last year, without her.”

So five days a week you’re doing what – Botox injections? Going to the mall? Watching “Maury”?

“Rob Lowe once said the secret to being an actor in L.A. is sleeping as late as you possibly can and going to be as early as possible. I remember him saying, ‘I recommend pajamas by 4:30 p.m.’”

What’s interesting about this show is that they’re taken something that could be a very formulaic procedural and quite often turn it on its head.

“I didn’t know anything about TV, I’d never done [a TV show], but I now know very well that there are procedurals and character-driven shows. ‘Law & Order’ is a procedural and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is a character-driven show. The test [as to which category a show is in], someone once said to me, which I thought was hysterical, is this question: Did Sam Waterston sleep with [the assistant DA] on ‘Law & Order’? If the answer is ‘I don’t give a [hoot], I want to know the next element of the case,’ then it’s a procedural.

“Our show is weirdly, and there must be precedent for this, but it’s weirdly equally both. I think it’s very much a procedural, and without that sick patient every week, we wouldn’t work. And without the character stuff it wouldn’t work. And weirdly, people do care if House sleeps with one of our characters, and also care equally what’s wrong with this person and how they’re going to solve the case.”

I guess I like the character stuff better, but you’re right, it probably wouldn’t work without the suspense of the weekly case and somebody being critically ill.

“No, I think you need that. I think the echoes of Sherlock Holmes are too strong. The original idea of the show was House and Wilson, like Holmes and Watson. But it got away from that, and his team is Watson, if you want to be technical about it.

“I’m more like … the only way I’ve found to define it, and it’s so pretentious that it makes me want to jump out a window, is like King Lear’s fool. I’m like the only one who tells him the truth. And [Wilson] has nothing to lose. I don’t work for him and he doesn’t work for me. I’m the only character who chooses to be with him as opposed to being there because of a job. And because of that I have the freedom to tell him what I think. Not that Cuddy holds back much.”

I think her role is to say, "No! Bad House!"

“Have you talked to Lisa Edelstein [who plays Cuddy]? She’s so great. This Japanese woman once said to her, ‘You on “ER”!’ And she said, ‘I have been on “ER,” but now I’m on “House.”’ And [the woman says] ‘Oh yes, “House.” You say, “No, you don’t!”’ Every time we do the table read, I burst into laughter at some point, because there is the voice of that woman in my head, ‘You say “No, you don’t!”’ That’s the entire definition of Lisa’s character. Not completely, but we laugh [about it]. We have the same dilemma. We’re on this show that we’re … kind of on. Crew members say, ‘How long have you been on the show?’ ‘Uh, since the pilot.’ They really don’t know what we’re doing there.”

So in terms of the other stuff going on in your career, that’s going well, all the theater stuff?

“I’ve achieved everything I wanted to do. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Kevin Kline, Sam Waterston. I grew up watching the Public Theater and Shakespeare in the park and Marion Seldes. I mean, I may as well be gay.”

I’m not entirely sure you’re not.

[laughs] “But the thing is, I got it [i.e. his goals]. I’ve done 14 Broadway shows and got a Tony award, and now I’m making money and no one even really knows. I’m getting away with murder. If I come back to New York in two years and nothing’s changed, I’ll be thrilled. All I really want to do is [act in] plays, play with my dog, have kids. My desires are pretty simple. I don’t really want to do movies anymore. I’m pretty tired of camera acting.”

Why are you tired of camera acting? Is it the repetition of it?

“No, no, quite the opposite. We don’t rehearse enough. We do scenes where people barely know their lines, where people just about know their lines. In theater, you do it so many times and you get so familiar that then you can actually start having fun with it. And I really miss that feeling.

“It’s true of films too. I don’t know. I think I’m fine on film, but … I have walked offstage and thought, ‘Wow, no one has done that better. People may have done it as well, but not better.' I’ve actually had that feeling after ‘Long Day’s Journey Into Night,’ or a Shaw play or whatever. I’ve never felt that way with film. I always feel like, ‘Boy, Donald Sutherland would have done that a lot better.’ [laughs] I just don’t think it’s what I do best. I think I’m fine, but there are people who are eerily good at it. In all humility, of which I have none [laughs], that’s how I feel about my work on stage. I really do feel that I’m gifted at it.”

Just to change gears completely, what happens in the finale?

“Well, I think the finale is a bit of a cliffhanger. Something very exciting happens. It’s extremely exciting and freaky and I think it’s great. I can’t say what it is. You end this season very curious about how the next season is going to start. It’s a great final show and a big cliffhanger.”

So it seems like Hugh Laurie is so disparaging of his own talents. But he’s so good as House.

“Some people ask me, ‘Oh, why does Wilson want to hang out with House so much?’ and I’m like, ‘You idiot.’ [laughs] House is designed to be attractive! He’s brilliant, he’s self-deprecating, he has a limp. But yeah, Hugh hates himself and he’s very funny about it.  There’s no better combination in my book. Like Lewis Black.”

But as an acting partner, he’s good to work with?

“Oh yeah. The thing is, with this part, Hugh has a huge obstacle he has to deal with, having an American accent. His problem isn’t our problem. We as the audience don’t have that problem, because what he doesn’t know is that he does it perfectly. But of course he doesn’t hear that. That’s why he can’t watch the show.

“When you’re doing an accent, you don’t feel like you’re interesting in the role. Even if everyone around is telling you that you are. And to be in a play is one thing, but to be on TV show that runs for years, I don’t know how he’s going to do it. To be that hard on yourself and be that disappointed in your own work. But as I said, and underline this four times, he’s wrong.”

And then he obviously hates when anyone calls him a sex symbol. You read his quotes when people ask him about that stuff and you can feel the embarrassment rising off the page.

“Yeah, he hates that stuff. And even more than the ‘sexy’ stuff, he hates the ‘you’re brilliant’ stuff. Of course there’s a part of him that likes him, there’s a part of all of us that likes that. [But him being hard on his performance], it’s not false vanity.

“I think Hugh does work he’s proud of and does work he thinks is good, I’m just not sure it’ll ever be this [show]. Having an accent… acting is letting go and forgetting yourself, it’s the opposite of ego. It’s flying away and getting away from yourself and forgetting. And when you’re doing an accent, it’s virtually impossible to do that.

“It’s hard when you're in a play, doing the same lines, the same way for eight months. Hugh learns 72 new lines a day and has to put an American accent on them. It really is an actor’s nightmare. I’ve done [with accents] Brian Friel plays, Martin Sherman plays, Tom Stoppard plays, and maybe five months into it you have a night where you kind of feel OK and kind of forget the accent and let go and let the scene happen. To have a strange accent in your mouth while playing a role, and then be judged for it, that’s hard stuff.

“And can I tell you, when you have dinner with Hugh Laurie [speaking in his real accent]… I miss that voice.”

Yeah. He called me once directly for an interview. I was expecting the publicist to put him through, but it was just that voice on the phone. I was sort of thrown for a minute.

“As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina.” [laughs]

---- [source (part 2)] | part 1 | part 3 ---

it took me two hours to track this interview down. it might be the longest one he's ever done. first i tracked it down to tumblr pages posting about it with no source please stop doing that. then i found a short youtube video of laurie saying "homina homina" on an snl skit i think and someone in the comments mentioned the site where the rsl interview was posted. however the site wouldn't let me in, i guess they took it down so i headed to archive dot org. i didn't have a specific link though so that didn't really work out either. then for nearly an hour i tried a wide range of word combinations on google until i stumbled upon a livejournal page of rpf hugh laurie/rsl fanfic. SOMEONE tysm karaokegal posted the exact link i was looking for in the comments. quick trip to the wayback machine and here you go!

i should be on those ethical hacking competition things

[racergirl-112]

Push Me Over - Chapter 2: Down Bad

MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Content: Adult, Smut Warnings: mentions of orgasms, vibrators, language

A few days later

After a few days of shooting the main cast, Dani was finally making her debut on set. She had spent the morning in her trailer in hair and make-up and now was finally in her costume, the form fitting spandex, being more revealing than she thought. She heard the call over the radio of her assistant Kayla, that it was her time. 

“Are you ready?” Kayla asked. Dani nodded her head. Kayla replied to something over the radio before walking Dani to the main soundstage where they would be filming today. 

While they were on break from a scene, Ryan and Shawn were looking over some footage while Hugh scrolled through his phone. He had been divorced for a week and he and his ex hadn’t announced it yet, but he had people asking what had happened. He wasn’t really to ready to talk about it yet, nor was it anyone’s fucking business. He just happened to glance up as he saw Dani walk on set. The black spandex suit they had her in was hugging her curves and made her breasts prominent. He couldn’t pull his eyes away or stop the erection growing in his suit. She’s young enough to be your kid… 

Filming had wrapped for Dani for the day and she had gone back to her trailer to de-compress for a while after getting out of her costume. After being around Hugh all day in that suit and how it hugged all the right parts of his body, she needed to get away and fast. She pulled up the internet and searched his name. His filmography as well as his theater accolades popped up immediately, followed by his personal life. It said he had been married to a fellow actor for more than two decades and they had two kids. Her heart sank at reading that, but was happy to see a man in Hollywood stay loyal to his wife. 

At that new revelation, she grabbed her bag to leave and go back to the condo they had her staying at during filming. She put her headphones in and Push Me Over by Maren Morris began to play. Some of the lyrics being very prominent of how she had felt all day on set with Hugh. She began to hum then started singing out loud, closing the trailer door behind her and not paying attention to her surroundings. As she turned to leave, she ran into a body. It took a minute to register who it was, but when she saw the yellow and blue, her heart began to race. 

“Um, hi,” Dani said, embarrassed. 

“Hi darlin’,” Hugh answered. “You leaving for the day?” She nodded her head yes, taking her headphones out and putting them in her bag. 

“Yeah. Thought I’d go back to my condo, order some food and binge watch some tv. What about you? What are you doing at my trailer?” 

“Damn, are you always this questioning?” he asked, his eyebrow raising. Dani mentally added that to the on-going list of hot things this man did. 

“I was just asking a question,” she replied sarcastically. 

“I was going to tell you how great of a job you did today.” 

“Thank you?” she questioned. “I guess you haven’t seen my great background work prior?” The smartass smile on her face, making Hugh turned on as hell. 

“Damn sweetheart, you are a smartass. Didn’t your parents teach you to be nice?” 

“Not to strangers,” she smirked. 

“How about we fix that? Want to grab coffee sometime?” Hugh asked. Before she had a chance to register what her mind was thinking, she said it out loud. 

“No offense, but aren’t you married? I don’t want any headlines about me being a homewrecker.” That comment took him aback just by the look that came across his face. 

He closed the space between them and looked around before he spoke. “I’m actually divorced. It was finalized last week, but I haven’t told a lot of people. So, no sweetheart, I’m not married.” She felt like someone had sucked all the air from around them and they were outside. His face was inches from her’s and god did she want this man to kiss her. 

“Well, um,” she felt like she forgot how to speak. “I’m sorry. I know I don’t really know you, but if you do want to talk about it, I’m more than happy to listen. I’ve got to get going though.” 

“I’m going to hold you to that sweetheart,” he replied, his words sending shivers down her spine. 

After getting out of his costume, Hugh got back to his flat, throwing his stuff on the table. He wasn’t sure what the fuck had happened today, but he had been ready to fuck Dani into next week. He grabbed the bottle of Whiskey from the cabinet and poured himself a glass, replaying what had happened. Sure he had had eyes for only his wife for the past 27 years and had done countless love scenes with other co-stars, but there was something about Dani that made him want to break all the rules, especially the one where she was the director’s niece. He downed the whiskey and let the burn flood him as he closed his eyes, thinking about Dani. 

She had been semi right when she told Hugh, she wanted to go back to her condo and eat and binge tv. The food part had been right, but after their little conversation outside her trailer, she found herself using her vibrator to get her off while thinking about Hugh. How she wanted his muscular arms to wrap around her while he made love to her or fucked her into next week. Honestly, she didn’t have a preference. The more she thought about him, the quicker it got her high and soon she was reaching her orgasm. How the fuck was she supposed to stay away from him?

[xixovart]

my rrverse headcanons that i will save in my drafts until it explodes

possible tw for mentions of weaponry and violence!! (bullet point no.5)

nico with heterochromia?? im?

a LOT of aphrodite kids are pansexual. somethinf about love knowing no bounds or restrictions to gender because love is a connection to the soul or whatever

actually on that idea a lot of aphrodite kids are under the non binary umbrella :)

spreading the deaf will solace agenda

annabeth goes to a shooting range to relieve stress

she got that from thalia

i just need you to picture how unbelievably destroyed thalia must’ve been when they told her about luke.

alex fierro really likes cupcakes. but he’s like. ashamed of it?? for some reason

one time magnus walked in on her while she was eating some red velvet? hilarious interaction.

“magnus it’s not what ir looks like i swear.”

”what? you use someone’s blood to make those?”

rip bianca di angelo you would’ve loved ratatouille. i don’t know.

kayla really likes mac n cheese. i really don’t know.

chris wnd beckendorf have an unmatched ‘our gfs are best friends but ngl we’re kinda gay for each other’ bromance

percy is REAAALLLYYY good at makeup

thalia is surprisingly good at volleyball?

frank once accidentally knocked down an entire grocery store isle… somehow.

hazel really likes ladybugs

“long day?” “tell me about it. keep em coming.” except it’s kayla pouring will grape soda into a wine glass when they were 12 after a day in the infirmary

unpopular opinion: will relentlessly finds loopholes for rules (and sometimes blatantly breaks them) while nico hates rule-breaking. one was raised in rich 1940s europe and the other is texan. guess who.

annabeth and will bonded over their shared love of true crime podcasts

hazel gossips like a hairstylist

“don’t look at me like that, you’re not my real dad 😒” -11 year old annabeth to chiron after the ares cabin caught fire “unexpectedly. somehow. for no reason.”

percy used to swims in fountains and steals people’s coins

piper blasts chappell roan at unhealthy volumes. so does will. they bond over that

zoë nightshade was in the theater abe lincoln was killed in. don’t know where this came from.

piper and leo were the most chaotic duo that wilderness school ever bore witness to. there were several science room “accidents.” and the food in the kitchens went missing every week “unexpectedly”

magnus hearth and blitz used to sit on rooftops and throw water balloons at tourists. fathers-son bonding i lobe them

frank likes tarzan and kung fu panda an unhealthy amount (he was a horrible influence on hazel)

hazel once made random hand signals at a boy who was bothering her told him she cursed him

bianca was surprisingly good at sports?

thalia had to put saran wrap on every outlet in the house for two months when jason was a year old because he would NOT stop sticking his fingers in them

reyna cannot cook. she only knows how to make a surprisingly good lemonade. it’s insane.

hedge, on the other hand, is a freaking chef. he’s like the love child of a really smart goat and gordon ramsay

annabeth and thalia are both master pickpockets because of their time on the road

luke had a soft spot for gummy bears

silena was very calm and collected but the SECOND this girl stepped FOOT in a rage room she lost her SHIR

mallory hates math. like actually loathes math.

magnus is math smart and mallory is english smart

(book 1) halfborn and magnus are the prank lords of floor 19

alex joined them the second he showed up (he destroyed half the hotel withing his first 24 minutes there? duh?)

cecil hates twizzlers

lou ellen cecil and will are VERY competitive go kart-ers

rachel and hazel are artist buddies and go on drawing dates

chiron gets father’s day presents

someone proposed the idea of achilles and patroclus training nico post-ttc and pre-botl???? stop right now im losing my mind i love this

spreading the multilingual nico agenda

mr. d gave will his tattoo

grover and percy unironically watch rom coms every saturday while eating vegan candy and cry for the characters

grover and rachel’s friendship is INCREDIBLY??? underrated

i think we forget that grover bianca and nico went to school together and bianca and grover were friends. imagine the chaos.

lester and kayla had regular arm wrestling matches (kayla always won btw)

whenever austin’s mad at his cabinmates he wakes them up at the asscrack of drawn by playing we are the champions on his flute.

idk why but malcolm seems very gumball coded.

“wait, where are you going?” “to the brony convention in lietchenstein. where do you think im going????” -canon conversation between malcolm and annabeth

wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings.

ethan is a really bad liar in non-greek related matters

will’s love language is that he points at literally the two most random things and says “us” to nico

“nico look it’s us!! :D” “solace those are two dead leaves on the floor” “yeah but they’re next to each other :)”

sally knows taekwondo. no one knows when or how she learned, she just does and it’s terrifying

alabaster is a plant mom

dakota seems like the type of kid to slump so deep in a chair that he ends up falling off. and then he just like. lays there.

castor and pollux have a concerning attraction to fire

travis stoll likes strawberries :)

connor stoll chunks strawberries at travis from half a km away and calls is “aiming practice”

katie has the temper of a chihuahua

(post-tlo) percy and clarisse pretend to hate each other but they’re actually friends who fight like siblings and it’s surprisingly endearing?

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 15

So... just one more chapter to go. I've experienced a wide range of emotions with this fic and to be honest, I'm grateful it's nearing the end.

I still will do the final book, just not sure when. As always keep an on the #boy with a bat, tag.

We finally get the moment you've all be waiting for. Robin and Steve on the floor of the bathroom.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

~

Eddie spotted the Russians in military gear first. Two beefy guys with huge fucking guns and looks that would absolutely kill. Then he spotted two little blue sailors ducking into the theater. As far as he could tell, the soldier boys were looking for his friends, which meant the little idiots found their secret base.

“Found him,” Eddie hissed into the walkie talkie. “Only there are bad people looking for him. Please advise. Over.”

“You two together?”

“That’s a negative,” Eddie whispered. “Subject has ducked into the theater and the two bogies are in the food court and little ole me am stuck in the middle.”

“Is there a way you can lead them away from Steve without putting you in danger?”

Eddie chewed on his lip a moment and then said, “I don’t think so.” His lip quivered and a little sob escaped.

“Hey, hey,” Wayne said soothingly. “It’s going to be fine. I want you safe just as much as I want Steve safe, all right?”

Eddie breathed in deep and then let out a shuddering breath. “Yeah, I’m really worried now. Even though I’ve seen him, it’s somehow worse than not knowing.”

“It only feels that way now,” Wayne murmured gently. “Just keep an eye out for both our boy and those Russkis, you hear?”

“Yes, sir!” Eddie replied weakly.

“I found out our beloved chef of police hasn’t been in town for the past couple of days either,” Wayne said, his tone grave.

“Shit!” he hissed. “This is beginning to look like an actual fucking conspiracy and I hate those.”

“I’m heading to the Sinclairs next,” Wayne said, “There has to be something–” there was the screeching of tires and then, “Holy fuck. I nearly ran over the younger Byers boy and the Sinclair kid. It doesn’t look good, Ed. They look like they’re gearing up for war.”

“Get them here as quick as possible,” Eddie said, “I have a feeling that what those shitheads are up to, it has to do with what’s going on here.”

~

Wayne let out a long piercing whistle got all the kids attention. “You need to get to the mall, I can get you there faster than on foot.”

“Excuse me, sir,” Lucas said politely, “I don’t think you want to be involved in this.”

Wayne scoffed. “Look kid, I’ve see a lot of horrible shit in my time, and I don’t know much, but I do know that Steve is in trouble and you guys are the only ones who can help him. So maybe cut the bullshit and get in the god damn truck.”

They all looked at each other and then nodded.

Mike pointed to El. “She’s hurt, can you help me get her in the truck?”

Wayne immediately hopped out of the truck and walked over to her. “I’m guessing any suggestion to take her to the hospital would met with resistance if not outright hostility?”

El and Mike looked at each other for a moment before El said. “I like him.”

Wayne laughed and bent down to pick her up. “I’m going to lay her on the back of the bed of the truck, you can stay with her if you like.”

Mike nodded and hopped up to the truck to help him get her situated. Once he was sure they were comfortable he hopped back into the driver’s side.

“Um...” Will said nervously, “how did you know they were at the mall? Dustin just contacted us, we just found out.” He left out the part that El had read Dustin’s mind to find out he was there.

Wayne glanced at him sidelong. “Your answer is on the other end of that walkie talkie.”

As if on cue the walkie talkie squawked to life. “Uncle Wayne, I just spotted the subjects going into the bathrooms by the theater and the bogies have moved off past the carousel. I’m going to make contact.”

Wayne grabbed the walkie talkie. “Sounds good, Ed. I have the sheep and am on my way back to the mall.”

“Eddie!” Will exclaimed excitedly.

“Baby Byers!” Eddie cried back. “I’m guessing things are freakier than Russians under the mall.”

Will went on to explain what was happening in town and what the plan was.

“Yeah, that’s pretty freaky,” Eddie said solemnly. “But between you and me we can deal with freaky, right?”

Will smiled and Wayne fought down a smile of his own. It was good to see his boy make Will feel better about the situation around his disappearance. Will had been called a freak a lot after that, and that was what they called Eddie too. But Eddie learned to own up the moniker and now he was helping Will feel the same.

~

God Steve hated puking. It was the worst. Right after concussions and being told by your very drunk girlfriend that she never loved you.

“Let’s see if the drug is still in us,” Robin suggested, leaning up against the wall.

Steve slid under the stall wall and into hers. He looked at her and breathed a sigh of relief. She was shaken but unharmed.

“When was the last time you peed your pants?” he asked, going for silly instead of trauma mining or secret finding.

“Today,” she admitted and then let out a gasp. “Yup! It’s still in there.” She covered her mouth with a giggle.

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what? You peed your pants today?”

Robin held up her finger and her thumb and put them close together. “Just a little. When they were interrogating you.”

That made sense he supposed, with a wince. He was pretty terrified himself. He nodded and then waved at her to ask him something.

Her expression got soft. “Have you ever been in love?”

Steve was little surprised by the answer if he was honest. Which considering the drug running through his veins, he had to be.

“Twice,” he admitted softly. “The first was Nancy Wheeler.” It actually physically hurt to say that. He had loved her. Despite what she thought about her cheating and his sexuality.

“Seriously?” Robin said with a laugh. “Miss Priss?”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Turns out, not so much.”

She was fierce and tenacious and everything Steve wished he could be, but wasn’t.

“The other is this most amazing, weird, talented person imaginable,” he muttered. “I never thought I’d fall for them, but fuck I thank whoever every day that I did. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without their support.”

“Steve...” Robin muttered. “I appreciate it, but if you really knew me, you wouldn’t like the person I am.”

Steve blinked at her for a second and then tilted his head. “Huh?”

“There was a reason I was so mad at you when you first started working at Scoops,” she murmured. “Last year in Mrs. Click’s history class. You would come in late, make a mess of the stupid bagel you ate, and all the while, she was looking at you instead of me.”

“Who? Mrs. Click?”

“No!” Robin huffed, kicking her foot against the toilet. “Tammy Thompson. She was looking at your stupid hair and your stupid smile and I would just go home and scream into my pillow.”

Steve blinked for a moment and then burst out laughing. “You thought I was talking about you?” He laughed again. “God, I thought I had terrible taste! Tammy Thompson is a dud.”

Robin’s mouth dropped in shock. “No she’s not. She’s going places. She can sing.”

“No she can’t,” Steve teased and broke out into song.

“You sound like a Muppet!” she hissed, kicking at his thigh instead.

Steve snapped his fingers. “Yes! That’s it she sings like a Muppet!”

She burst out laughing again. “All right dingus, if you weren’t talking about me, who were you talking about?”

Steve picked at his nails for a moment. “Eddie Munson.”

Robin’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. “If we weren’t under the stupid truth serum, I would tell you to fuck off. Are you gay?”

“Yeah,” he said not looking up from his nails. “He was so kind to me after the whole shit with Hargrove and Nancy and he just makes me feel like a full person again. And he knows about all this bullshit, too. Because I told him.”

“So you and Eddie, huh?” she asked softly.

Steve nodded again.

Just then the door to the bathroom swung open and standing behind Dustin and Erica was Eddie.

“Hey, darlin’,” Eddie said, leaning against the door frame. “We’ve really got to stop meeting like this.”

Steve blinked up at him with a dopey smile. ���Like what?”

“You puking your guts out.”

Steve’s smile broke out into a wide grin.

~

Eddie blinked at the flying car. Of all the things that he’d heard about, that was definitely not one he ever thought he would ever see. Not that he was complaining about the rescue. Of course not, that would be rude. And Uncle Wayne did not a raise him to be rude.

Then Super-girl collapsed in pain and a wiggling, squirming thing could be seen under her skin. Jonathan bent down and was going to cut it out but his hands were shaking too bad.

“Out of the way,” Eddie bit out. He grabbed the knife and pushed Jonathan to the ground. He turned to the brave girl. “You ready?”

She nodded once.

With the flick of his wrist the thing burst from her skin landing a couple of feet from them. Thankfully the opposite direction Jonathan had fallen but still gross.

Eddie turned green and scrambled to get away. Everyone else froze at the sight of the thing as it tried to get to El again.

BANG!

Eddie looked up to see Wayne with the rifle and Hopper and Joyce flanking him, with a small weaselly looking guy, peering around Joyce.

“Jane!” Hopper cried and ran to her.

She held him close and whispered, “Why didn’t you kill it?”

Hopper chuckled and turned to face Wayne and Joyce. Then he turned back to her. “I’m a good shot, sweetheart, but Wayne is the best and there were just too many people around and I didn’t want to hurt no one.”

El thought about it for a moment. “Thank you.”

Wayne nodded slowly and lowered the rifle.

Everyone filled everyone else in. Mind Flayers were real. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. And by cool he absolutely meant terrifying.

Dustin and Erica offered to show Joyce and Hopper to the Russian base.

Hopper looked down at Dustin with the absolute despair of an adult who knows the answer to the question but absolutely has to ask it anyway.

“Why does it have to be you and Erica and not Steve and the other girl?” he asked after drawing his hands down his face.

“Because Robin, that’s the girl by the way,” Dustin said cheerfully, “were drugged and really don’t remember anything about how we got out.”

Hopper lifted his eyes skyward and put his hands on his hips, pursing his lips. Yup. That was the answer he thought he was going to get.

Murray stepped up. “You can do it through a walkie talkie kid,” and handed him his. “I’m not going to let a couple of eight year olds walk into that mess. Especially now that we know what’s going on.”

“I’m eleven you bald headed freak,” Erica sassed back, hands on her hips.

“Besides,” Dustin said, looking smug as hell, “we know walkie talkies don’t work beyond a certain point so they would be absolutely useless.”

“Yeah,” Erica agreed. “We only went down in the elevator and the walkies wouldn’t work.”

Dustin rubbed his hands together. “What you need is someone who has seen their com room, has a communications tower big enough to get to you below the mall, and knows the way there.”

“Oh wait,” he said with a smug grin. “You have me!”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance and they both rolled their eyes as Hopper ran his hands over his face again.

“We’ll need a head start,” he said ignoring all the groans around him. “And a car.”

Steve held up his hands. “Don’t look at me, the Russians took my keys.”

Hopper shook his head. “Now that we know it’s Billy, your car would stand out too much.”

“I’ve got my van,” Eddie said, raising his hand.

Hopper scratched his chin. “And do you think that Billy would recognize it?”

Max scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah...”

“Do I want to know?” Hopper asked with a raised eyebrow.

Max opened her mouth to reply but Eddie cut her off with a hard, “No.”

Hopper looked Eddie up and down and then nodded. “Right, you’ll take the car I ‘borrowed’ instead.”

He tossed the keys to Steve who caught it one handed.

Everyone went their separate ways, with the five of them, Robin, Steve, Eddie, Erica, and Dustin, heading out to find this car.

Steve threw out his arms and sighed. “This is more like it.”

It was a suped up yellow hot rod convertible with the vanity plate of TODFTHR

Robin raised an eyebrow and sneered, “The Todd Father?”

“Steve’s her daddy now,” he purred.

Eddie started laughing. “Honey, we aren’t playing who’s your daddy right now, but we are sooo going to talk about that later.”

“What does that even mean?” Dustin asked, scrunching up his nose.

Eddie grabbed the keys out Steve’s hands.

“You probably have a concussion and at least double vision,” he huffed before Steve could protest, “I’m driving.”

Steve sighed and let him take the keys.

“Back seat, Buckley,” Eddie huffed, sliding into the car as Erica got in and Dustin hopped over the door.

She rolled her eyes but did as she was told, sliding next to Erica as Steve hopped into the passenger seat.

~

Part 16

Tag List: THREE SLOTS REMAINING

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @blondie1006

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades

7- @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @acingthecounts

8- @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts

9- @clockworkballerina @bluelightsinthevoid @blcksh33p1987 @i-go-pink-in-the-night @mamafaithful

10- @w1ll0wtr33 @samsoble

[evilios]

What do you think of the new Epic saga?

Hi, hon! 🌻

I appreciate you letting me Epic rant on the main, I'll keep it under the cut for my dear mutuals and followers' mental stability (some spoilers):

I should say: I separate Epic from Homeric texts. If it was loosely based on the Odyssey back in the Troy Saga, it's entirely its own thing now. Which is not bad! It's just different and it handles its own questions and problems.

Overall, I think it was good. It has its downsides (a little below on that) but I do like the hard work put into the musical. It's not exactly easy to put events of hundreds upon hundreds lines of an epic poem into five songs, so I'm not harsh on it.

I presume that everything Jorge showed on the livestream is what is more or less firmly canon within his musical (visually and lore wise) so with that in mind:

I think he nailed Telemachus. I love this boy, he's my everything. He's young, sweet, protective, he's just lovely. Legendary was my favorite when it existed in snippets and cut videos, it is still one of my favorite songs. The "I want" songs are always fun and Telemachus is very much a Disney prince singing from his magical tower. It's fun!

I see what Jorge did with Antinous being older than Telemachus in the musical which is, well, he had to sacrifice something. I'm guessing letting a guy around Telemachus' age sing about planning to wife up his mom would be weird. But! The only reason I'm bringing it up is that the potential ship dynamic/chemistry between epic Telemachus and Antinous would have been insane if they were around the same age. But, again, I understand the change.

Antinous' voice is also everything.

I like Telemachus' dynamic with Athena in the musical. It's a little closer than in the epics, a little more lighthearted. He doesn't really know about the weight on her shoulders but he's hospitable, sweet, and kind. We'll be Fine is a good song.

This is overall an "Athena's character development arc" saga to me. I see she's repeatedly mirrored to Odysseus, regretting her decisions/being too harsh and all. Jorge can't stop making parallels but! I'm a slut for parallel plotlines, so I like that. Myth Odysseus' usual mirror is Agamemnon but... he doesn't really fully exist in the realm of the musical so I see why they picked Athena, it's an interesting choice.

I could be Calypso's love in paradise 😔

No like she's so pretty. I know she's morally questionable (modernity-wise) but. She is so pretty. Her hair is so pretty. She's so bubbly, I'm so obsessed with her.

I don't think the clock-reverse thing needed to be in her song, it kind of messes with the tempo. I can see how it will work out on stage if Epic is ever in theater, but I'm still 50/50 about that part. Overall, Love in Paradise is catchy as hell!

From the visuals Jorge showed, I assume Calypso was physically close to Odysseus in this version too. Which, coupled with Athena claiming he never cheated, brings me to two different thoughts: a). They were physically close but he didn't have intimacy with her b). Athena does not consider forced intimacy cheating and I'm definitely for the second one, Odysseus' S/A is important.

God Games... torn on this one. A bit too short to my liking BUT will work out on stage. I can see how you could use stage lights + physical space to reconstruct it. Song length wouldn't matter as much.

I love short haired dark haired Apollo, it's like Jorge requested his version of the God to be distinct. His argument also IS SO UNSERIOUS. Like he's there only because Daddy asked him isn't he.

I'm glad Helios' cattle was not brought up as some people expected (and as I feared), Jorge knows his source material.

Hephaestus is absolutely too sweet for this world. I'm not sure if his bit with loyalty is about Hera myth or Aphrodite myth or something else... but it was sweet.

Aphrodite can have my heart on a plate. Fully. I don't care. Her bit is my favorite + I love that she's more pissed off about Odysseus "betraying" familial love rather than blaming him for, idk, potentially sleeping with Calypso or something.

Ares has an amazing voice though I keep wondering about his point. We know Odysseus didn't fight Scylla because a). There's no point in fighting Scylla b). He was planning to betray his crew. A part of me wants to think Ares is pissed because he sacrificed his comrades instead of fighting for them, it is cowardly.

I like their little fighting sequence, really shows Athena's ready to throw down in a fight if needed.

Hera is gorgeous stunning show stopping etc. I like her bit, it's not really serious, like Apollo's, but I don't see why it would be. Odysseus isn't really her business and he is a notable hero, she doesn't need to test him as one. But she needs to test him as a husband! Which is lovely.

Zeus would never hurt Athena I refuse to believe that part /lh

Overall? It's good. A bit clunky/compressed but good. Thunder one is still my favorite but the Athena Saga was good, gave my girl some more depth.

[cleolinda]

A tale retold

I first told this story some twenty years ago, and it happened even earlier than that, so here's the Modern Retelling with Historical Context:

For many years, I had—well, you've heard of naturally curly hair? I had unnaturally curly hair. I had a stylist so brilliant that she was able to give me occasional perms that no one could tell were chemical. NO, FOR REAL, I constantly got compliments on my long, rippling hair. In reality, my hair is deplorably fine and flat, although I'm told I have a ton of it; putting in some wave made me feel better, you know? I just wanted to co-wash, air-dry, and go live my tousled life. But after my spinal surgery, I just couldn't spend 2-3 hours in a stylist's chair anymore. And so, after 20 years of my best Galadriel impression, I've had to make peace with my natural texture, the only thing about me (I realize now) that is actually straight.

But this story takes place back in 1996; I was a junior in high school, and I had the freshest of perms. Just absolutely exuberant. Downright Pre-Raphaelite. It had only been done the weekend before, and it usually took about two weeks for the curls to settle down and look less poodly natural, but I wasn't going to miss Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. When I was in grad school years later, my Shakespeare professor went to the mat for this movie, declaring it the best adaptation of any of his plays. And she wasn't a Leo fangirl, either. I tend to agree. And I got to see it on a big screen, opening night, with my best friend and my fresh luscious elbow-length '90s 'do. Banger soundtrack, the big bold visuals that tip over into Maybe Too Much in Moulin Rouge—I'm enthralled, I'm absorbed. Claire Danes is weeping over Dead Romeo, and we all know what’s about to happen in this, a 400-year-old play, but you still hope against hope that somehow it won’t this time. And then I feel something that's not emotion.

Something behind me. In my hair.

It's clammy. This tiny moist hand... creeping... up my neck.

Bear in mind, these are classic movie theater seats, not the big recliners you get now. My head is vulnerable to rear attack. And these tiny fingers, like a gummy little doll's hand, are crawling up my neck, under, through my hair. I am now sitting bolt upright, frozen. What the fuck is going on. It’s still creeping like a little spider up my scalp to the back of my head—put your hand up to yours, get your fingertips to the roots of your hair and really get a sense of what this feels like—

These fingers close, slowly, around the greediest handful of hair they can get hold of, and YANK.

I whip around while Juliet is sobbing—darkness.

To this day, I have no idea who (or what?) that tiny hand belonged to. I mean, you gotta think it was a small child enticed by the siren song of my curls, right? Some parents just didn’t spring for a babysitter on a big opening night, and there’s a Millennial out there with some real interesting core memories, I guess? I couldn't make out anything in the darkness behind me, and we were at kind of a key cinematic moment, so I didn't have time for more than a stern warning glare To Whom It Might Concern. And then I held onto my hair for the remainder of the movie. I chopped it all off within a few months, and went to college with short, straight hair, unable to forget the Cursèd Touch of the Hand. lol jk I just wanted a change and regretted it instantly.

So, happy 20th anniversary to the story I told on the Fametracker forums all those years ago. I can still remember exactly what that hand felt like: tiny. And moist.

[drewsbuzzcut]

I Can See It In Your Eyes

Drew Starkey x Evangeline Sinclair (OC)

Warnings: none that I can think of (this is also lightly edited so sorry for any mistakes)

“Evangeline!”

“Ms. Sinclair over here!”

“Look this way!”

The young starlet walks down the red carpet, the train of her gown in her hand as she makes her way to an interviewer. The buzzing crowd does nothing for her nerves, but she focuses on the pride she feels as everyone calls out for her.

“We’re here with Evangeline Sinclair. She walked the red carpet for the first time just yesterday for her premiere of her brand new horror movie. Everyone seemed to love it and the reviews are to die for. How do you feel?” The interviewer dives in straight away.

Evangeline only has a millisecond to catch her breath.

“So excited. This movie is special to me and I want people to really feel that. I hope that transcribes well through all the hard work that was put into that project,” she breathes out, hands clutched over her heart to show that her words are heartfelt.

“Today you’re here as well to support your fellow Loewe crew and Luca who you’ve previously worked with.”

“Yes, I am. Luca is a fantastic director and he’s perfect at having a vision and making it come to life. I’m honored to be here to celebrate and support such an amazing film and an amazing cast and crew”

“If you don’t mind shifting gears, rumor has it that Drew Starkey is your newest costar for another horror movie coming out sometime next year,” the woman says excitedly.

“Well I guess it isn’t a rumor anymore. Yes, he’s my costar and we’re actually in the middle of filming. Our lovely cast and crew were gracious enough to allow us to be here supporting our other projects,” Evangeline grins, a little flutter growing in her heart at the thought of Drew.

“Well the chemistry must be strong between you two. I can just feel the electricity buzzing when you walk by one another,” the interviewer points out, making a blush form on the actress’s cheeks.

“He’s amazing to work with. What can I say? Our chemistry is unmatched and that’s why we’re starring in a major movie together,” she muses through a big grin.

“I think I heard my name,” Drew chimes in, popping up behind Evangeline.

His hand finds the small of her back and he places a chaste kiss to her cheek, furthermore making her face blaze.

“Drew! How kind of you to join us. What’s it like working with this generation’s scream queen?”

Both Drew and Eva share a quick glance, their eyes quickly flitting away from each other. The girl is highly aware of his large hand still present on her back.

“Ah man. She’s- yeah she’s perfect. Someone that everyone wants to work with, and I just so happen to be the lucky one to do so. She’s super talented and she really knows how to put dedication into the craft,” Drew compliments, directing his gaze back to her.

They all look at each other just about speechless. Evangeline wasn’t expecting for him to say that and it clearly caught the interviewer off guard.

“He’s such a flatterer. I should be saying that I’m the lucky one, being able to work with him,” she shakes off her surprise.

“And soon everyone will be the lucky ones when they’re able to see your film in theaters.”

Evangeline turns her body into Drew’s, her hand landing on his chest in an affectionate manner. Although their touches seem to be mostly platonic, everyone will still be able to see the tension bouncing between their eyes.

“We can’t wait for everyone to see it,” Drew gleams and squeezes the actress into his side.

“Thank you, Drew and Evangeline. It was nice talking to you both,” the interviewer concludes her interview and the duo bid their goodbyes.

“You should pose with me for pictures,” Drew leans down to whisper in her ear.

The girl blushed furiously this time, heart practically beating out of her chest. Whenever she’s around Drew, her senses go haywire.

“No way. You’re the star of the night,” she huffs out.

“And you’re always a star.” Can he be any more perfect?

“One picture. Only one, Drew,” she gives in.

After a few pictures- after the paparazzi couldn’t get enough of them -the duo make their way inside, away from any prying eyes or lenses.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you that you look beautiful,” Drew sighs as if it's been weighing on his chest.

“Thank you. You look handsome as well.”

His hands find their way back onto her back, slowly tugging her into him for a long overdue hug. Evangeline doesn’t dare stop herself from looping her arms around his neck. His hair tickles her fingers in a pleasant way, reminding her of all the times she’s played with his hair on set.

If someone were to see them, they’d think they’re a couple. Hell, sometimes her mind even tricks her into thinking they’re a couple. Truth is, their bond has become so strong, a catalyst from co-starring in a movie together. Their characters are each other’s love interest, and they’ve had their fair share of onscreen kisses that have pushed their relationship to toe the line between fiction and reality.

Snapping the girl out of her thoughts, Drew slides a hand down her arm and interlocks their fingers.

“Shit. I need to get going and meet up with Luca and Daniel and everyone else,” he mutters, lowering his head in slight annoyance.

“Nervous, Starkey?” There’s a tease hidden in her words and Drew catches it right away.

He fights off a bubbling laugh and just presses a hard kiss to her cheek.

“It’s okay if you’re nervous,” she adds after he fails to respond.

“I’m fine. I know you’ll be in there, seated right behind me,” he says and gathers her in his arms once again. Even in heels, Eva still has to be on her tiptoes to press her forehead to his.

“Mmm right. I almost forgot that I’m your non-date,” she laughs. Drew had asked her to accompany him during his film's premiere day, knowing that her presence will keep him calm. He also can’t deny that he adores seeing her dolled up and by his side.

“Date,” he corrects her. She stays silent, just peering into his baby blues.

“I’m proud of you,” she whispers and finally returns his cheek kiss.

“I have to get going.”

“Go superstar,” she playfully pushes at his chest.

He squeezes at her hips, reluctantly pulling away to catch one last, longing gaze at her before meeting the cast and crew for Queer.

a/n: I haven’t written for Drew in a while, so I hope y’all truly enjoy it

Let me know if there’s anything specific you want to see with Drew and Evangeline!

[plant-acts]

question for the theater boys: How’d you get into acting/theater?

Legend: My parents put me in youth classes when I was a kid, so I've always been into it.

Twilight: I'm kinda the same. My parents are theater teachers, so it runs in the family.

Warriors: Opposite for me, actually. I only started when I went to an audition with Wind last summer.

Wind: And I got into it during middle school! Remember when you used to make fun of me-

Warriors: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Oh how the tables have turned.

Sky: Ah, brotherly love. Anyway, it's cheesy but I only joined theater to impress a girl in high school. Jokes on me I guess, because I fell for her and acting!

Time: Hate to say it, but I joined for the same reason. Malon was an actor, so I did tech to get closer. Who would have ever guessed that would lead to us married and teaching together.

Wild: We get it, you're both in love. Moving on, I joined in highschool cuz it looked like fun.

Hyrule: Don't you have a girlfriend- you know what, never mind. Me too. I needed an arts credit, so I took tech theater.

Green: Our school was small, so when I joined, I forced my brothers to help me.

Blue: Also known as, mom needed some time without us all, so she made us.

Vio: Lucky for Green, we ended up liking it.

Red: Who would have known we would all go to the same college for it!

[sanriokamabodo]

Interview with Akaza + Douma (Actor!AU)

A/N: wanted to write this as a full on fic but who am i kidding (not proofread haha..)

“Hi I’m Hakuji Soyama and I've had the honour to play Akaza since the Mugen Train Arc” He gives a brief nod after his introduction. Slinging his right leg over the other, he glances at his counterpart who awkwardly raises his hand.

“...And I play Douma.’’ He states, causing Akaza to erupt into a fit of laughter, the audience and interviewer joining him instantly.

“Well that’s one way to introduce yourself.” Akaza grins, dramatically wiping a tear away from his eye.

“So tell me, what’s it like behind the scenes?"

"I think everyone gets along great, we all have a similar end goal in mind and work hard to achieve that together."

Douma nods before starting. "This is my first big time job and everybody has welcomed me with open arms. The writers even listened to my ideas and we've made some changes together for me to portray him better."

"We've heard rumours about you all doing your own stunts. Is it true?"

Akaza sighs making Douma laugh.

"You know that one scene in the infinity castle where I parkour around like it's nobody's business? That took a week to film, I nearly had to relearn to walk again because I was dangling in the air so much."

"Tch, you're so dramatic." Douma quips.

"You didn't make it any easier for me! You know how ticklish my feet are and you kept taking advantage of it while I was hanging from the ceiling!" He scoffs jokingly. "You guys better appreciate that scene." He laughs, making the audience cheer for the duo.

"How do you guys get ready for a day of shooting? Walk me through the day you started filming the uppermoon meeting."

"Make-up is the first thing we do, during make-up we go over our scenes together."

"Whose make-up takes longest?"

"Hantengu's by a long shot. He's actually really good looking in real life."

"I second that. I think Hakuji's the quickest since he has temporary tattoo's and dyed his hair for the part. He only needs to put in his contacts."

"Muzan's actor is actually really soft-spoken in real life, we had to reshoot the 'Upper Moons' meeting a lot because he would be to gentle with us and we would end up laughing." Akaza chuckles.

"Who do you respect most among the actors?"

"I respect everyone, especially the younger actors! They're super professional. I shot a scene with Ume who plays Daki and she gave me a lot of useful tips."

"The way Rengoku's actor portrays him gave me chills. He did so beautifully! I really respect him!"

"Hakuji came home crying after they filmed Rengoku's death scene." Douma teases.

"It was a long day, alright?"

"Yeah, you guys live together right?"

"We've been best friends since we were like five, so becoming roommates when we both wanted to go to theater school was an easy decision."

"Is your friend a bit like the character he portrays?"

"Absolutely not! When we're not shooting he's cooped up in his room playing video games all day. I don't know how he maintains his figure because all I see him eat is instant ramen. I'm even convinced he's a virgin." He cooes at Douma, pinching his cheek.

"Get off me!" The platinum haired man laughs. "Like you're anything like Akaza, you manwhore."

Akaza shrugs, a sly smirk on his face. "I know a bit of martial arts. That's like my character, I guess."

"The karate workshop we had when we we're eleven? Really, that's your knowledge of martial arts?"

Akaza nods seriously, trying to hold in his laugh.

"Wow, you're really something..."

"We're almost out of time." The interviewer states. "Anything you want to add before we round this interview up?"

"I can't recommend watching Demon Slayer enough! I've never been so proud of a show or movie I've done, this is next level."

"What he said, and hi mum!" Douma says, waving at the camera with a toothy grin.

"Give a round of applause for the one and only Akaza and Douma! Thank you for the interview."

[throwaway-yandere]

What HaPpEneD aT 10:10? (Yandere!"Gepard Landau"/Reader)

Scriptwriter's Note: I implore you to remember what happened at 10:10. And once you do, come talk to three of my associates. For now, let her help you recall what's going on in the present time. You can remember the time, but we need you to remember the murder weapon, who killed who, and the motive.

Synopsis: Trapped in Serval Landau’s basement for so long, you made a deal with the Sampo to escape confinement. As it turns out, your timing is never impeccable. Aka: a Belobog "murder" mystery. (A/n: ansy here, have fun trying to guess what happened! But please. PLEASE do not read this if you're sensitive to the topics below ⬇)

CW: Yandere and horror themes, "most unreliable narrator AND reader ever" - sam, violence, amputation, mentions of domestic (physical) abuse. His smile is stiff as a board. There’s a portal at the end of the story, your choices matter (there are 2 possible endings). Welcome to the Back Alley.

A murder was announced to occur on Saturday, October 2, at the Golden Theater’s back alley, around 10:10 AM.

It was an unidentified note. Short and crudely pasted cutouts from old magazines were its contents. Many believe the Astral Express put it together as a twisted joke. It’s no coincidence that the clocks' little hands near the theater were also forever stuck at 10:10. No one took it seriously. Additionally, a nearby bookshop used this opportunity to "hype" its mystery books by joining the bandwagon. While the Silvermane Guards officially took the "threat" as if it didn't exist, others transformed it into an event by creating crime scene props with March 7th and Stelle serving as the main judges.  

Who'd even investigate such a note when the Golden Theater doesn’t have a back alley?

By 5:00 AM, that silly note was not at the forefront of the Silvermane Guards' minds.

It was you.

Sampo shakily exhaled a quick "heya, friend," as his legs continued to speed past the Silvermane Guards, who were all very much ready to fire. The merchanr was forced to inhale sharply and slightly elevate his voice as he worriedly fixed his attention on his 'package.' 

"Y-You're good, aren't you?" 

Inside the shopping cart (who knows where he got that) he had been pushing was a wanted person. A bit feverish, you nodded without much commitment. Even the slightest movements relieved the dubious merchant as he picked up the pace, avoiding the stray "warning" shots that were fired near.

Today, you didn't awaken in the house where you were held captive. There were no mechanical noises or loud drilling. However, your morning did begin with your flesh awkwardly molding against the metal grid patterns of the shopping cart. There was no complaining when you realized it was your old friend Sampo who had carried and set you down. You didn't even consider asking this man where he was taking you.

Days earlier, he had paid you a covert visit and explained his strategy. So you concluded that he was the one who made the "false" murder announcement public. He also implied that little Hook made the note. Your gut tells you that even while it makes sense to assume that she is the author of that absurd announcement, it doesn't seem to be the truth. But at that point, your fears of being tubed with immoral equipment vanished and you felt gratitude rather than alarm. Not that you'd ever figure out that I made it, anyways.

"S-Sampo…" You groaned, not moving from your position as your friend fished out his homemade bombs from his pocket. "W-Where are you taking me…?"

Anywhere is better than her basement.

"To Nat, of course!" You needn't tilt your head to know that he was smiling wide. "Is there any other doctor more reliable than Miss Natasha?"

You'd insensitively joke about Vache Harrower, but your strength betrays you. Not like he'd give you a chance to drop some smart-alecks when he timed his bombs right. 

Just a few short seconds after, your best friend rolled his smoke bombs on the floor and made a larger dash. You heard a tremendous boom from the back, and a silent malicious voice in your skull hoped for injuries.

They worked with her.

Jolting you up, Sampo made one swift left turn and another to the right, making sure that the last remaining guards that trailed you both were lost in the haze. He didn't stop running, but you can tell he's getting tired. Sampo is a merchant, not the sister of the ex-Captain of the Silvermane Guards.

Your nose scrunched.

Serval Landau… that paranoid woman and lousier liar…

The oldest Landau used to be your best friend along with Pela. She had treated you as though you were Gepard's twin at times, much to your discomfort. Even her parents referred to you as their kin. 

Since you had no one to care for you as a child, the Landaus happily raised you. Had you not rejected their offers for adoption, your life certainly wouldn't be where it is now. 

Back "home", Serval would make suggestions that you were more of a Landau than she’d ever be. In turn, you’d cock your head and look unamused. Then act more like one, you’d reply. Yet these forceful encouragements do not reach her.

Even when you beg her to let you out of the house, she won’t let you.

We’ve been over this before, she’d reply. I can’t let you out on your own. You’re missing your right leg, what if that man finds you? 

You’ve never understood that logic. Who was she referring to, your old boss?

Her brother died a year ago.

You once liked him. You'd even go out of your way to say he was worthy of anyone's trust. 

Was. That was before you knew that deep in the recesses of his mind that loyalty was the beginning and end of Captain Gepard Landau's character. Uniting men under his leadership, he sought only the best for his beloved Belobog.

Your mind drives memories of Gepard away and you can no longer remember what transpired to cause this. After all, you undoubtedly considered Serval and Lynx to be sisters, but you never thought of him as a brother. You can't exactly pinpoint why you treated him like that since the very beginning.

Based on your shattered memories, you were stripped away of your position as his aide. Serval claimed it was because you didn't harbor traits of self-preservation. She made a show of how unreliable you were on the field, that you were hysterical and a "liability." Their relentless critique went on for half an hour until the higher-ups had given in to her demands. 

Worse, they permitted her to surveil your movements 24/7. Using your amputated leg as an excuse, she effectively put you on house arrest– not your home, but hers. She's not an effective caretaker either, despite her attempts. Serval's use of transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation is far more brutal than what a normal practitioner would do, but no one can hear your complaints except for Molly. Her tests are never comfortable. And you loathe this.

She acted like your loss of a leg turned you into damaged goods that only the siblings can see value in. That her giving you a prosthetic was a sign of love rather than a shackle.

They said you were “hysterical”, and that you should be forgiven for whatever sin you’ve committed.

Insulting.

Insulting. Insulting. Insulting.

"H-How closer are we to the underground?" You gripped the cart, your heart racing at the speed.

Sampo coughed after accidentally inhaling his smoke.

“S-Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t change the direction of the cart–”

“What?!”

“The cart won’t turn!!!” Sampo screamed.

With each passing second, the gap between the cart and the theater narrowed. Your heart raced as this was your first experience of real danger after being sheltered for a year or so. Even though you were aware that Sampo had no control over the impending crash, you still glanced at him expectantly.

He smiled, drop-dead nervous and boyishly sheepish.

"Give me two minutes!!!"

"Give me two minutes, Captain!!! We still need a few more."

You beamed, holding your axe to chop wood for your comrades in the Outlying Snow Plains. 

At first, you weren't trusted with heavy weapons. Luckily, being "weak" is a curable ailment for everyone. And the cure is called hard work and extreme effort. That, and an axe. 

You were the very definition of a model soldier and he found himself incredibly lucky to finally see you join the Silvermane Guards. You had an excellent posture; you were a sharpshooter and a wonderful axeman– even your breathing looks rehearsed.

And for a damn good reason.

When the Height's economy sneezes, the underground catches a cold.

Unfortunately, that means children as young as you were had to bear the flames.

The Landau parents had taken a shine to you after taking you as a servant from the orphanage. Your captain's father adored you, even though his never-smiling voice had not once indicated his affection. Captain Gepard bears resemblances from his old man in appearance but not his military demeanor; you were the one to hold that torch. 

It was through Mr. Landau you learned how much metrics and timings make a difference between an animal and a human being. You grew from someone who skitters away dynamically like a gas particle to a person grounded with instructions on how each step in a stride must be measured to perfection. Growing up with the Landaus was by no means a happy life, but it made you more keen on what constitutes "proper living." 

To you, being hit by vases and chairs for failing to fold Mr. Landau's clothes in exactly the way he wants them to be was preferable to dying in the streets with your grandmother with nothing to fill your stomach other than the restaurant trash cans nearby. And you were certain you brought more pride and joy to Mr. and Mrs. Landau than you had to your parents who had abandoned you since birth. 

People see Mr. Landau when they look at you and not Gepard.

But that's only because they have never seen the way you behave when it's only you and the Landau siblings are together.

“Working hard, I see,” Gerard said in a light joking manner.

You scratched your neck, embarrassed.

“Nah, I’m actually very lazy.”

“Don’t be so self-effacing,” Gepard smiled kindly. “I don’t miss anything. I’ve heard that you’ve made your rounds and even took on some of Pela’s duties while she’s on leave.”

“Eh, we both know I wouldn’t have done it without Pela begging me to do it for her Tales of– nevermind, Captain.”

Gepard had always viewed your abilities with the greatest reverence and approval. Serval was always quick to emphasize how her "favorite non-blood related sibling" is an "uninhibited performer" before everyone else, so Gepard thought this true in every aspect. You must think of this as writing a song to keep your mind sharp. You lose any sense of reservation once in “the zone”, and if Serval fell for the way your brows furrowed when penning down tunes and lyrics, Gepard faltered when he saw the glint in your eye as you pieced all the information needed to catch Sampo Koski’s whereabouts after your promotion. 

He had never told you this, but Gepard always felt weird sensations pooling in his chest whenever he saw you hyper-focused on something.

Or someone.

“Do you think I can catch him, Geppie?”

Gepard ruffled your hair and your face brightened up.

"Never falter, (Y/n),” he said firmly. “For I wholeheartedly believe in your strengths. Catching Sampo Koski will be a walk in the park for someone like you."

To think that your first caught infamous criminal is your last true friend… Destiny surely toys with those who say “That’ll never happen.” It's always a fun phenomenon to write a script about.

“Walk in a park”? Try “crash in a theater”.

“SAMPO!!!”

You yelped, clawing his shirt and yanking his upper body like a wild animal. His heels screeched as the cart faced the direction of the Golden Theater.

And what nestled near the Golden Theater was its Back Alley, a place that exists on the border between reality and myth. Whispers among children weave tales that those who enter the depths are trapped in a journey of confronting their unresolved trauma and guilt. It is believed that the alley acts as another dimension where the lost must face their inner demons before emerging back into the real world, scarred forever by the distorted horrors they have confronted.

And for the first time in your life, you saw it.

You saw a fence that was never there before.

Your heart dropped.

“SAMPO!!!”

He closed his eyes, bracing for the impact alongside you.

Sampo Koski lived by a particular quote: "True happiness always entails the manifestation of the dignity of mankind,”

And only a few knew that it's only 1/3 of the full quote. The next part includes: “and true guilt is the catalyst for self-reflection and the pursuit of redemption–" 

Flickering street lights and unmoving 10:10 clocks cast eerie shadows of dawn. It’s said that the people who traverse its trails encounter manifestations of their inner turmoil, a reflection of their deepest regrets. Some emerge transformed, carrying newfound clarity, while others head on a downward spiral. 

He wondered which one you would be.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n).”

Sampo smirked…

And let go of the cart.

“But the Back Alley is waiting for you.”

His hands, calloused but clean, tenderly held yours. You felt ice even without a metal ring wrapped around his finger. At that thought, you blinked.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Yes, dear?"

"You don't have a ring on you," you said with an unreadable expression. "Will we ever have a chance at getting married?"

You thought it was funny; he didn't.

We.

What did you mean by “we”?

Him and you?

Or you and someone else?

Surely you and him, right?

But is that really an idea that he needs to know?

The Supreme Guardian was right.

Doubt breeds arrogance.

“W-Well–” Gepard’s breath hitched, awkwardly fumbling his cuffs. “I don’t know about that.”

You muttered. “So the future's uncertain.” 

“Of course.”

“Hmm.”

He gulped, realizing that you were mad at his response.

But he can’t let any of this continue any longer.

“(Y/n), I have something I’d like to tell you…”

“Nghh….”

You heard the shopping cart roll towards a wall– must be the same one you crashed onto. As you caught a glimpse of your surroundings, you were astounded to see how foggy it was. The wall-mounted advertisement for a love-matching service is hardly visible. It was impossible to see past the surrounding streetlight, even with "un-smoke bombed" eyes. 

Doesn’t look like you’re in the administrative district.

You cannot see a single familiar building from this fog.

No heaters in sight and your breath practically singed your throat. The fog prickled your skin, but for reasons unknown, you did not shudder as a feverish man would’ve. Strangely enough, you felt fine.

You tried squinting at the road again.

Your heart dropped.

... There was no road.

You can't tell if it's the snow and the fog– but there's no pavement towards the exit in sight. It's as if wherever you stood floated. It was a literal dead end. As you peaked into the cliff, you did not see the bottom.

There was nothing there.

Even if you tried jumping, you weren't sure if there would be anything to fall on.

Capable arms wrapped themselves around your form. They were far stronger than your eyelids, which would barely open. Semi-automatically, your hand reached for this person’s shoulder, attempting to reposition yourself from their hold. You can barely make out their face, but their hair was slightly darker. This stranger lacked the envy-inspiring golden allure that the Landaus have.

Not processing that information fast enough, you spoke.

“S-Sampo, wh-what happened–”

You went pale.

No.

No.

No.

You pushed this "man" aside and dropped to the ground, barely maintaining balance on your one remaining leg. The man has now grown to be a towering figure over you, his star-bright eyes peering at you, paranoid. The air felt heavy, laden with a palpable sense of the unknown. Only the sound of your lonesome "real" foot scurrying away broke the silence.

“A-Are you alright?! W-What’s wrong....? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The man sauntered closer. His light but lifeless eyes locked onto yours, piercing through your soul. He had dirty blonde hair and he wore a sweater similar to the one that you never got to give to your best friend's younger brother, but–

“G-Gepard…?!?!”

The man tilted his head.

You squinted, hoping to find solace in a detail you might’ve missed or so. 

Finally, your shoulders slackened, exhaling a large white cloud.

“No… You’re… not.”

He sent you a fleeting look of pity before making an awkward joke.

“Do I look similar to a past lover?”

His smile is stiff as a board.

“No— my— my deceased… boss…” You spoke bitterly.

This person, who looked eerily similar to the dead Gepard Landau, stared with red-rimmed eyes. Did he cry earlier? With nothing else to focus on except for the thick fog, you remain frozen in place.

“This is…”

Terrifying, you wanted to say but that would be offensive.

“Impressive…” You gawked, slowly forgetting the vulnerable position you left yourself in. Sharply, you drew a breath. “You look like you could be a Landau.”

Your hand reached to touch his cheek, and the stranger leaned into your touch. Far too engrossed by this encounter, you did not care for his slightly hollow eyes and more than elated expression. It was the bigger picture that you saw.

It was the near-perfect image of the deceased Gepard Landau.

His skin was pinkish and his heart raced.

“Your hand is warm…” He commented softly, face red.

“Your face, your voice— it’s just your hair and your sense of fashion that’s different, and—”

“My name is Gerard,” his smile remains stiff as a board, but there's a touch of friendliness to it. “I don’t believe I appear anywhere near ghostlike.”

You’re inclined to believe that he’s lying.

No one can look THIS similar to Gepard.

And that name as well.

You don’t know what to think.

As you were about to retract your hand, he held it back in place, guiding it closer to his lips. He breathed in. His breath marked the fog. “Gerard” inched closer, stepping his foot near your prosthetic right leg. With little distance between you two, your temperature has progressively grown hotter. It’s uncomfortable watching you both like this. I should’ve closed my eyes.

“See?” He mumbled.

“Can you sense how warm I am?”

“So you’re not Gepard… Or a ghost, I guess.”

You laughed to yourself. You’re not sure about your statement, either.

But while this man may appear friendly, his eyes were a haunting reminder that some things can never truly be left behind.

“As I have stated before, my name is Gerard.”

Even his name sounds like his.

“I-I’m sorry, I was dazed,” You pinched your temple. Without his warmth, the cold bit your cheeks which made you turn around. “T-Thank you for carrying me out of that shopping cart, Gep– Gerard.”

You looked around again. Nothing to see but fog. Far from surprising.

“Gerard, where are we?”

The dirty blonde man laughed. 

“The Theater’s Back Alley.”

“The Back Alley?” You scoffed quietly, contemplating on how Gepard insisted to you before that it never existed– and now his promiscuous doppelganger is arguing otherwise. “There aren’t any back alleys around the theater.”

This place doesn’t look like an alley. 

It’s far too large for it to fit the description. This must be an abandoned town. Unbeknownst to both of you, way before your time, this place was called Chernobog.

“Yes there is,” Gerard hummed. “It’s where we are now.”

“Then can you carry– lead me back to the main district?” You decided to humor him. “I’m not supposed to be wherever this place is.”

“I wouldn’t allow it.”

“Why not?”

Gerard grinned. His radiant smile baffled you as his demeanor changed from slightly teasing to tender from just the crinkles of his eyes. 

“Because I love you, of course. I can't just let you leave.”

You froze.

Why? Why does he speak as if it ever so slightly comes from the diaphragm as he did? 

Why does his voice sound so much like Gepard’s?

You thought it was wrong.

Gepard would never say those words.

Not to you. Never.

As Gerard’s casual confession hung amidst the fog, a peculiar heaviness settled on your heart. It wasn't the words themselves that caused this unease but rather the haunting resemblance his voice had to Gepard’s. His voice was rich with authenticity, free of malice, and his confession was short but somehow sweet.

But you didn’t want to hear that from him.

You averted your gaze. A flood of memories had suddenly surfaced at that precise moment, including the hearty sound of Gepard's laughter. It appeared as though the dead had come back to play a cruel game. Unable to bear his comfortable “joke”, you recoiled and feigned deafness, face veiled behind an indifferent mask. Perhaps the Aeon of Preservation may have advocated for this. In a sense, perhaps denial meant safety. Silently, you begged for your thoughts to stop, for the resemblance to dissipate, and for the ache of grief to be buried again.

“Back on the topic at hand, if you wish to exit the Back Alley: I don’t wish to help you,” he smiled.

His smile is always stiff as a board.

“Why not stay here? Are you not a wanted person?”

You glared.

“How did you know that?”

“Murder, right?” Gerard drawled, his eyes softening in what you call disgusting pity. “Someone important. Someone that made you stuck here.” 

“Stop making accusations,” you spat, offended by his left-field slander.

“I’m not,” Gerard said. “I know who you killed. How about you? Do you remember who it was?”

Silence.

“But that doesn’t matter now,” he announced firmly. “Why don’t you come with me? Let me shield you from the monsters.”

You froze.

“Mon… sters?”

“Yes, monsters.”

Unexpectedly, a far-off wail of sirens and static radio pierced the air, disorienting. There was nothing to be seen when you lifted your chin to strain your ears in search of the source. Gerard's urgent voice broke through your daze.

"Run." 

With a swift and practiced motion, he swept you off your feet, cradling you in his arms back to the position you woke up in. He knew your current prosthetics were not meant for running. A prosthetic limb is like a new fingerprint and Serval would never make your new identity one similar to escapists. At the moment, you had a prosthetic leg for everyday use, and not blades for running.

As Gerard hurriedly carried you through the dense fog, you felt no sense of security as you had before. Something lurked just beyond your line of sight. In an act of spur-of-the-moment bravery, you stole a glance over Gerard's shoulder, and thus, you were paralyzed.

What emerged from the depths of the fog were grotesque “figures”. 

Their bodies were mutilated, with their arms hanging loosely at their sides. They reared their heads, twisting and contorting. It was humanoid in stature, blanched and nearly armless. If it were not for some tissues, you were certain they wouldn’t have arms to begin with. Their flesh seemed boiled together like patchworks of human remains. They started to inch closer, their movements disjointed.

Fear coursed through your veins as you realized their intentions were set upon you and Gerard. But his voice cut through, his words not faltering.

"Hold on tight," he said steadily.

“Whatever you do, don’t let them get to you, (Y/n),” Gerard whispered. 

“Please, do it for me.”

For the duration of “dawn”, Gerard carried you to safe locations. You have not met a single human person throughout the day. This was a concerning observation after knowing how large the “alley” was. He knew the area like the back of his hand and successfully guided you to hospitals (which, unfortunately, had more of those monsters from before) to patch some minor wounds from Sampo's “shopping cart trip” mishaps. 

Before you could walk to the hospital bed, he grabbed your wrist in a tight hold.

“Shhh…” Gerard tugged your arm. “You don’t need to walk. Please, permit me to carry you.”

Despite your whispered protests, he rarely let you move around. Which made sense since your staggering did alert them of your location.

But you don’t like the way he touches you.

Those Gepard-like eyes lingered on you as if he were trying to memorize every inch of your skin. His actions were marked by an unwavering vigilance, always on guard for the slightest sign of danger even when you encouraged him to relax a bit. It was as if he was driven by an unspoken longing or unresolved past experiences. And you've only just met.

This time he made sure to turn off his radio. Suspiciously enough, "Gerard" carried a Silvermane Guard issued radio but it only seemed to make sounds whenever danger lurks by.

You tried not to think about that. Save for the dusty bed and wispy drapes, the posters strewn across the hospital walls caught your attention. The wall didn't have anything else notable other than those prints. They must be the same ones you saw on the streets, yellowed with age. The prints ranged from love hotlines, anger management tips, and a wanted poster.

Your poster.

Unlike the previous ones, this one was preserved thoughtfully, plastered right at the center amongst all the prints. Intriguingly, floral stickers were peppered around your images. Not the childish ones you'd buy for a cheap price, but more refined illustrations. You're not too versed in the language of flowers, but they did look like blue roses and marigolds. If only you could recall what Gepard said about what those flowers meant...

For now, you hazarded an astute guess as to why it was cleaner than the rest, staring unamused at Gerard. He sheepishly smiled, face flushed as he tried not to notice your glare. Gerard seemed proud of his handiwork.

It was nearly cute.

If it weren't for the fact you seriously don't know who he is.

“Gepard—”

“Gerard,” he corrected you in a commanding yet soft tone, ironically similar to your old Captain.

“You don’t have to patch my wounds.”

“Just let me,” he pressed on, wrapping your scrapped arm with gauze. “This was part of my combat lifesaver course.”

You shifted from the bed.

“You’re a soldier?”

…

He didn’t answer.

You tilted your head.

“Are you sure you’re not a Landau–”

“Affirmative.”

He could’ve twisted the gauze tight enough to make you wince in pain, but he delicately wrapped it and added immense pressure not to your wounds, but in his gaze.

“I am not your “Geppie” and I am not your old employer.”

With a voice that commands resolute clarity from you, you doubt he’s telling the truth. 

You paused.

“How?”

“How what?” He muttered.

“How did you know that nickname?”

You gulped.

“How much do you know about me?”

You were on high alert the moment he called you by your name when those monsters chased earlier– you have never introduced yourself. Couple that with the fact that he was to accuse you of murder, you didn’t know what he thought of you. 

This time, he didn’t smile.

“Enough to know that I love you.”

“You say that like it makes any sense!” You snapped.

“I know everything because you wanted me to love you, and I do love you too. I am not a shield for the people like him. I don't have the burden to protect anyone else, doesn’t that make me a better man for you now? There's no need to make sure the Silvermane Guards are always at the ready. I don't have to worry about pride- about being a Landau.”

He delicately reached out, guiding your hand to rest against his cheek. His softened features conveyed a love for your "warmth", but the pool in your stomach made this experience unbearable.

“My life is reserved for only you. That is my oath.”

You ripped your arm away from him with disgusted eyes.

“Just tell me the truth already!!!”

He looked down, frowning.

“You don’t need the truth...” 

Gerard's eyes glistened with a bittersweet melancholy as he watched you, a faint smile tugging his lips. He had a look that says he knew all too well that you are unaware of the depths he was willing to go to protect you. The dirty blonde man reached out, his hand instinctively yearning to rest upon your shoulder, but he withdrew it quickly, his fingers curling inward.

“That’s why you’re here. In this foggy back alley.”

He scooted beside you. Even if he couldn’t bring himself to comfort you enough, you knew he spoke the truth when his voice cracked in a small whisper of: "I’m with you."

Gerard grabbed your hand again and softly kissed your fingertips.

No one could miss his sharp gaze. The man has deluded himself that you were his to protect at all costs. A nature that stemmed from a deep-seated desire to control something that he couldn't acceptably justify. A pure obsession that defied reason at its finest.

You know that look all too well.

But you can’t put a finger as to where you’ve seen it. What a shame.

You looked at your hands.

... Strange.

Since when were you wearing a golden ring?

Your eyes intuitively gazed at Gerard's hands.

All of the sudden, your throat dried.

You're both wearing wedding rings.

“You don’t have to be alone again,” he mumbled. “We can live here. You could plant and look after flowers with me– though I’ve never been good at it. It’d be a quiet life, just as you’ve always wanted.”

“If that’s what you’re offering then you’re no different than Serval,” you laughed to yourself. 

His eyes darkened.

Before you could comment on it, he cut you off with another considerate smile.

“You must be hungry. There’s a cafeteria downstairs, I’ll procure some rye bread.”

“(Y/n), babe, where are you?”

You looked up. An alarmed woman’s voice called out.  

“... Serval?”

No reply.

The voice seemed to be coming from the door.

“Serval, are you there?”

“(Y/n), i-it’s okay! C-Calm down, calm down,” the voice continued. “Things just happen. I’ll help you okay? Shhh, d-don’t cry, don’t cry, I'm here…”

“What are you talking about?”

“I won’t let it happen. They don’t even have to know you were here. P-Pass the mop now, shhh…”

It made a sound far too damaged to be called a soothing chuckle.

“What are you on about?–”

The broken voice began to sing, sounding as though she had been clinging onto a husk of someone who’s been too far gone. 

“C-Calm your nerves, my p-precious friend,

For "tomorrow"'s problems will never end.

In this short song, I s-softly sing,

You're cherished, my dear, in e-everything.”

You reached for the bed railing and supported yourself upright. Prepping your leg for a short walk, you placed your foot down–

THUD.

The door swung open, making you jump slightly.

Gerard came back, his breath nearly stripped away as he sauntered over. His only saving grace was his stamina, but otherwise fear would've dragged him down. There was not a single piece of bread in his hand. I’m glad he came, you would’ve been out of the alley immediately otherwise. And that's not good for us.

The voice was gone.

The sounds from afar now ring more of an animal than a human. 

"(Y-Y/n)," he called out. "We need to leave."

You tilted your head, about to question what was wrong but you were cut off by his abrupt scream.

"NOW!!!"

He took you by the waist, carrying you in a way there was regard for your amputation but fast enough to make you feel unease. You gasped as Gerard's hold on you tightened, sprinting out of the "safe location."

"W-What's going on–"

"They're close," he whispered. "They're coming. It knows we’re here."

With one free hand, he pushed down passing cabinets as he bolted. Nothing was on his mind other than to flee with you. You didn't dare look at what was behind. You didn't want to face the truth.

"Gerar–"

Despite your desire not to see these creatures, a lone monster stands at the end of the hall.

It loomed before you, a grotesque fusion of flesh intricately molded together like human flesh sewn tight to a Silvermane Guard uniform, its form twisted and contorted while multiple unnerving eyes peered from its misshapen visage. Although it may have eyes more than you have fingers, you have a sneaking suspicion that they are completely inoperative. Its skin bore an unsettling array of intricate carvings, etched like cryptic scars across its entire body.

Something about its appearance resonated with you.

It slugged closer, staring. As to “where”, you can't tell. Each inch of its body had slits for eyes enough to instill paranoia. At least one pair must've been staring at you. Yet, most of it was on him.

Gerard.

"Tch..." His eyebrows furrowed, troubled.

He ran towards the end of the hall and miraculously swerved to avoid its axe. His pace quickened. 

"(Y/n), whatever you do, don't think about why these creatures exist. Even when I'm gone."

“What do you mean?”

“Just don’t. That’s an order.” He said, sounding more of a plea than a warning.

The hallway seemed to stretch endlessly as you struggled to keep up with Gerard's swift pace.

As he ran, questions burned in your mind, desperate for answers. His words echoed in your head, but your curiosity had implicit demand for a shred of understanding. You couldn't help but glance back, catching a glimpse of the creature still in pursuit. It persisted in its relentless pursuit of you, unwavering in its resolve.

"F-Faster!" you gasped between labored breaths. “It’s closing in on us!”

Gerard's expression remained stoic, his eyes focused on the path ahead.

He ran towards a door and pushed it open with a kick. You both stumbled through the threshold, entering what appeared to be the cafeteria, but the sterile scent mingling with the food made that guess somewhat unconvincing.

Gerard quickly assessed the room, searching for any signs of danger. The sound of distant alarms and muffled screams echoed through the corridors.

“Just what the hell is that?!” The words escaped you unintentionally in a mortified whisper.

Gerard cupped your mouth.

You both forgot to close the door.

What a horrible mistake.

The unsettling monster began its search. It emanated shrill sounds that pierced through your ears, making you almost move to cover them. The cries reached a hauntingly high-pitched cry that echoed like metal against metal. The mournful wails never resembled wolfish growls but rather heartbroken cries. Its speech resembles the guttural syllables "I" and "U" in an auditory expression of grief.

It turned around, but it also had eyes on its back.

Cowering in terror, you huddled close to Gerard behind the counter of the desolate cafeteria, seeking refuge from the approaching monster. 

As the creature drew nearer, its grotesque eyes fixated on you and Gerard, its elongated limbs reaching out with chilling anticipation. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you heard Gerard’s breath hitch as you both clung to the faint hope of survival.

But to your horror, as the monster approached head-on.

Its rotting flesh bypassed you, swerving past your trembling form, and seized Gerard instead. 

“(Y/N)!!! RUN!!”

Gerard pointed at the nearby mop.

He wants you to leave him.

A gasp of terror escaped your lips as you watched in disbelief.

His blue eyes widened, mirroring your panic but worse, as the monster's grasp tightened around him. Gerard yelped, his voice trembling as his fear of death loomed. Its grip was not merciful. 

It smacked Gerard against a desk.

Again.

Again.

And again.

Blood streamed in his scalp.

The monster took his arm.

And ripped it apart.

And soon.

Nothing.

Thud.

You went as silent as the corpse as you watched it extinguish his life in a quiet finality.

Tears streamed down your face, unable to look away. Maybe it's a trick of the mind, but you were starting to feel a pain from where your leg was removed. Your brain was still convinced that you still had it- and that it is in danger. You feel as if your ankle was angled downwards, hiding from the monster. Such sensations made your skin crawl, especially considering the circumstances. It was not the best time to experience phantom limb pain.

The monster briefly met your gaze as if to mock your survival. It limped away, leaving behind you with nothing but a corpse.

Hours felt like mere minutes before you were snapped out of your prolonged emptiness. Gerard remains on the floor, dead-eyed and bloody. Thankfully, your current PLP was manageable at best but the throbbing sensation distracted you for a while. Your mind was blocking out the blood on his face. It did not process how mutilated it had become, nor did it care to acknowledge his arm that lay on the checkered floor.

His cheeks looked warm, alive.

You fixed his hair.

“Gep– Gerard…”

…

…

You need to leave.

YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

Since that incident, you've been by yourself in the Back Alley, even though you sense that there may be other lost "people" like you nearby, you chose to act alone despite this.

There's no need for another Gerard.

You followed the walls every time you had the nerve to step outside, cursing Serval occasionally for failing to provide you with a prosthetic running leg. That, and her garbage methods she calls "physical therapy."

You have overstayed your welcome despite not knowing how long you have been in this dense fog. Oddly, you've never experienced hunger in your time here. You are unable to move around freely, and worse, you are unable to scream for help, unless you want the people who are still present in the dense fog to find you. 

You don’t have time to grieve for a man you barely knew.

You sighted a police station. Much like every building in this surprisingly large “alley”, it had been abandoned. It looked like the one you worked for, down to the paint job and the door frame. Funnily enough, the door was open, and thus, it was temporarily yours.

What greeted you first upon entering was a creature similar to the monsters you’ve crawled away from– but it did not move.

The still creature lay on the floor, staring at its hand. Its bottom half was similar to a mermaid's. You did not see two legs. When you approached, there was no reaction. You can only presume it was dead. Or that it never had a life to begin with.

You heard radio static as soon as you tried approaching it. But you don't recall ever having a radio in your possession.

“You poor thing…” You found yourself uncharacteristically sympathizing with a monster. The fatigue was eminent in your voice. “What happened?”

You're so stupid. Don't you think that "corpse" looks familiar?

You looked at its other hand and saw it holding an axe.

You took it.

As you brandished the weapon, its Silvermane engravings became more apparent. This was a soldier’s model, one you used back when you were an intelligence officer. Perhaps it will come in handy later.

“I’ve never heard of this station before, then again, I doubt many knew there’s a back alley in the first place,” you scoffed. “But, hmm…”

You turned your head to face the monster once more. You don’t know why you feel oddly calm facing the monster this boldly. With the axe acting as your new makeshift cane, you pushed it down. Nothing happened.

You got back up and took a look around.

For a police station, there were tons of love-related posters hanging around with half of them viciously vandalized. Some of them made you laugh as you read them. The handwriting seemed to belong to someone, but you can't recall whose.

LOVE ISN’T REAL.

I DON’T NEED A MATCH. I JUST WANT ██████.

“Pathetic,” your emotional equivalent of a snort was a slight huff. “And you’re all supposed to be Silvermane Guards? Guess this place was deserted for a reason.”

You hate how you sounded exactly like Mr. Landau just now. Out of all the children in the Landau household, you had it the worst with Md. Landau. Hearing yourself mutter something he would say... you're not sure how you feel about that.

Scoffing, you walked past the corpse and onto the break room. 

Missing just a few posters in your way.

IF I CAN’T HAVE ███, 

THEN I’LL JUST REMOVE ███ LIMBS.

Hours passed. You haven’t found the exit.

You heard Serval’s voice again. She was apologizing to you. Then, silence.

Nothing happened on what you presumed to be the “next day.” You cried to yourself until you saw the same monster who killed Gerard. It was ready to give chase until suddenly, it stopped when you were incredibly focused on escaping.

You tried thinking about why it did what it did. But it left more questions than answers.

Tore down a couple of posters. They were starting to get to you.

You think there is no exit. You made a quick mention about how Gerard probably knew where it is to yourself, but the same monster must've heard you. You felt eyes watching you and it made it's appearance by narrow alleys. You bolted.

You found another human. But he was long dead. You wondered if he was the same person children loved to talk about. The anxious man who lingered at the gates of the Back Alley. If I remember correctly, Stelle encountered this man before. Wonder what she thought of him at the time.

You heard the radio static again when you approached him. You decided to ignore him for now.

You mopped the man's dried blood. Who knew the mop Gerard pointed at in his last moments had it's use.

He looked stiff as a board. He was reeking, but at least he had a smile on his face.

You obtained a key after cleaning up the puddle.

“Was there ever an exit?”

Nothing happened in this timeframe. But you think you have an idea as to why these creatures exist.

Specifically, why they exist because of you.

How long have you been here? Sorry, I wasn’t keeping track.

You also weren't sure how long you'd been searching the town. Quite frankly, I was getting bored of watching. You tried to play this off like a maze game, constantly following the walls to your right as though it would magically lead you to the exit. Did you know that Lady Luck is not particularly lenient when bestowing favors? Your life here is slowly becoming more stale and your constantly improving ability to strategize your routes to avoid monsters has been making your adventure more of a chore to follow.  

It's admirable that you were so tenacious in clinging to life in such a dangerous environment with a single leg, but it was extremely frustrating that you couldn't see this alley for what it was.

As if to cure such boredom, you entered another abandoned building. Turns out, the key you pried off a dead man's corpse fits perfectly. It was a psychiatric clinic owned by one Dr. Kauffman, a licensed therapist who received teachings from Dr. Kang Tu via the Astral Express. I never cared about those people. They're just cashing in on the occult, the easily "hooked", and the disturbed. You harbor at least 2/3 of those qualities. Congrats.

The walls are more notably filled with the same set of posters you've seen scattered around time. This time, you weren't feral enough to tear the posters down. However, you didn't grasp the meaning behind them either. You refused to look deeper, even when you don't recall what would stare back at you. 

Mindlessly, you staggered inside a room. There were no professionals inside as far as you could tell without any of the lights on, just a cold sofa. You walked slowly and sat down. 

As soon as you comfortably secured a position to take a rest, you realized you weren't alone.

Star-bright eyes followed your movements as soon as you entered the room.

“Gepard?”

You blinked.

“Oh. Gerard, it’s you. I thought you were–” You paused as Gerard shook his head, eyebrows furrowed with a smile that repressed his frustration. “Sorry.”

“Anyway, I’m… confused. How are you alive?” You asked. “Your arm– it’s back. What’s going on?”

Desensitized, you no longer knew what to think.

You're being strangely calm, don't you think?

But one thing was for certain: this “man” is not supposed to be standing.

Gerard pursed his lips.

“Anyway?” He mimicked you bitterly.

“What do you mean “ANYWAY”?!?”

You flinched as he took steps forward.

“You didn’t even care about me, didn’t you?!? It’s Gepard this, Gepard that– Gepard is DEAD!!!” 

Gerard screamed at your face, gripping your shoulders tightly.

“Why… Why is it always him first? When I am everything he couldn't be?” 

Gerard chuckled lowly.

“I-I was so afraid. I was so afraid that I won’t be able to see you again– that I’d disappoint you– but no, it’s always Gepard first. Why can’t you be obsessed with me in the way you were so– so…”

He cried. Hot tears ran down his cheeks as his shoulders deflated. Gerard cast his gaze to the ground while his hands reached to wipe his sorrows off his face.

“I would die for you. Why can’t you do the same?”

You tilted your head.

“Strange, now that I think about it–” you said nonchalantly. 

“Didn’t I watch you die?”

Silence.

You should comfort him.

“Gepard,” you started.

Wrong name.

“No, it’s Gepard.”

Wrong name.

“It’s not the wrong name. I know what I’m saying.”

Wrong name.

I continued to correct you.

“It’s not–” You took a shaky breath. “It’s not the wrong name, you fucking idiot.”

He remains still, quiet.

Almost frozen.

Stiff as a board.

You laughed.

“I get it now. Haha. I get it now.”

You look down, staring at the human corpse. Human corpse? No. That’s not a human. A human cannot die twice. 

You get it now. 

You’re in the Back Alley.

There are always eyes that watch the Back Alley.

You look above, particularly to no one, but you believed the scriptwriter must be listening. 

“He’s listening, isn't He?”

Yes. He is.

It's time for us to talk.

The clock struck 10:10.

[mancer-in-the-abbey]

This coding course is kicking my ass, have some general ghoul headcanons, one for each of them

Phantom/Aeon: New Bug, as ever, strikes me as a “fake it till you make it” kind of guy. As such, it kinda makes me feel like he’d be a theater kid if given the chance, and although I think he’d get a kick out of musicals (Phantom of the Opera, ha ha), I think specifically he’d be into improv. Like, there is no chance his comfort show ISN’T Whose Line Is It Anyway. The minute someone introduced him to D&D, it’s over for everyone.

Aurora: I think she has a soft spot for classic opera pieces. It really lets her go all out in a technical sense, use her range to its fullest extent. It’s stereotypical, but her favorite aria is the Queen of the Night. It’s so damn fun to do this quick jumps in scale in such quick succession!

Sunshine: MASSIVE sweet tooth. Like, yes she knows her corporeal form is fragile and she needs to take care of it, and she does to some extent! She keeps very fit! But fuck if she doesn’t just devour a pound cake if she’s given the opportunity. Will absolutely get a hell of a stomach ache after, but in her mind it’s worth it. Hey, at least she takes good care of her teeth to match!

Rain: A fan of Dancing With The Stars! Though he himself is not known to be all that steady on his feet, he loves watching people who aren’t traditionally considered athletic be put into a professional dance setting and either crash and burn or get better over time. He honestly doesn’t care about the celebrity aspect in the least, barely pays attention to the slice-of-life interviews before the dances themselves, but MAN does he love to pick apart someone’s performance and try to guess what the judges will give before the scores are announced.

Cumulus: Wasn’t initially a gamer, she more preferred to watch those who were have fun in the ghoul common room, but she didn’t have much else to do during the pandemic so… yeah, she just CONSUMED everything Rain sent her way. Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, Portal and Portal 2x Hades, the entire Resident Evil franchise up to that point, even DOOM Eternal funny enough. She’s kept up with since then, but still has massive fondness for Animal Crossing.

Cirrus: Loves gem stones and precious metals! She has a real crow instinct but is kinda picky about it, like she’ll get fixated on a shiny gold hair clip with rinestones on it but if it feels too cheep in her hands she’ll lose interest entirely. Even still, her jewelry collection is LARGE. One expensive magpie, that woman, but she shares with the other ghouls if they ask so it evens out.

Swiss: It doesn’t fully mesh with go-to interpretation of him but I once read a headcanon that posited Swiss being able to replicate sounds to an uncanny degree and I am bringing it back here because I love it so damn much, kinda plays into being a little bit of every ghoul. I like to think if you startle Swiss he’ll forget to use his normal voice and just goes straight to the sound effects board. Phantom accidentally pops in from nowhere? Sudden air horn blast. Dew tackling him to the ground? The sound of a car going past you. Mountain stepping on his tail? Fire alarm. Someone kicks him in the balls? Microphone feedback. For a while.

Mountain: He likes eating rocks and precious metals. It’s already a thing with some subsets of earth ghoul, but like for Mountain it’s at a higher level. His preferred snack is those semi-precious rocks you get at tourist attractions, he will just chow down on it like popcorn. When that’s not available, however, he uses salt to sate the the itch. Dude keeps a salt lamp in his room that he uses as a salt lick when no one’s looking. This also extends to novelty items MADE of salt. Those Himalayan salt shot glasses? One-use only. Go straight into his mouth.

Aether: One of those tricks Omega showed him during era 3 is how to use your own quintessence on yourself, something generally considered to be very hard to do amongst quint ghouls. Aether has tweaked and expanded on this ability and has learned how to… basically hotbox but with quintosis. Not something he does often cause it’s draining but sometimes it’s nice to unwind on a near molecular level. Among the few he shares this ability with are Dew, Mountain, and Swiss. He’ll teach the new bug when he feels he’s ready for that kind of power…

Dewdrop: is actually a really good cook! Like really good, actually. He got really into watching Food Network when he first came to Earth which evolved into watching older cooking shows. This further evolved into experimenting with his own recipes. He’s also taught Mountain everything he knows about how to handle the kitchen, so they tend to share cooking duty between the two of them. No one’s complained yet!

[thee-horny-thicky]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Okay, so, technically, Satoru and Suguru are two different characters, but they're canon parallels to each other, two halves of a duo. When that stopped being the case, a chasm was created and their worlds shifted. Their relationship is a major part of both characters stories, so separating them is difficult.

It isn't hard to guess that I love them. They're complex characters, and both serve as a cornerstone of JJK. It's impossible to imagine the series without either one of them, and their respective ideologies and the reasons behind them can be essay material. (I know because I've written one for school)

Bella Goth is an iconic Sims character. She's a baddie, and has some of the most intriguing lore of the game. I think it's a shame the Sims 4 slacked up on the storylines of the townies, because even though I've never owned the original game or Sims 2, the lore of the first two games is compelling. I have fond memories of her, often revolving me breaking up her marriage, and protecting her from those mean, scary aliens.

I was six when this movie came out, and my mother took my sisters and I to see it in the theater. That first watch is something I'd never forget, and even though I was upset that my older sister stole my snacks, the magic of the movie overrode it all. To see a princess movie set in New Orleans endeared it to my entire family, and the fact that she's the first and only Black princess gives Tiana a special place in my heart. She's hardworking, ambitious, and persistent. Not to mention, she's a baddie.

Her and Naveen's love story is one of my favorites, and I adore the fact she showed you can have a loving husband and a prosperous career. She's an independent woman, but can still accept love.

Speaking of....

The original Disney baddie, (argue with your mama), and the first to spark my interest in martial arts. I thought she was so cool, and seeing her growth always puts a smile on my face. When she sat on the top of that pole, I was so proud of her. She started out headstrong and determined, and more honorable than most of the men around her. The crowd bowing to her was exactly what she deserved, and her Father giving her her props was such a sweet moment to me.

As a side note, she deserved better than Li Shang. I fully subscribe to the theory that Li is bisexual and developed an attraction towards Ping. I love the hypothetical queer representation, even if he ends up in a straight relationship. What I don't love is how he left her to die. He tried to pose it as an act of mercy, showing his gratitude for her heroic actions, but he still left her on a freezing mountainside in barely anything. Then, when she escaped and tried to warn him, he refused to give her the time of day. Put short, he was raggedy.

Saiki is one of my favorite anime protagonists. The way the anime pokes fun at tropes is so funny, and Saiki being done with the world around him is a mood, as is his fear of bugs. Anime is riddled with all powerful characters, and a lot of the time, they have a copy and paste personality. Seeing Saiki longing to be normal, (to the point of stalking someone who's scarily average), whilst also being over reliant on his powers and being comedically apathetic is a nice change of pace. It also makes him surprisingly complex. Though this is a theory and not canon, he's great ace representation. He's content with having no romantic partner, and I like how he grows to deal with having friends without having a sudden interest in romance.

Another good example of Ace representation, in my humble bisexual opinion, is Barbie. She shows that friendship and sisterhood can be fulfilling on its own, without any need for a romantic relationship.

Now, I don't think the Barbie movie is as revolutionary as people made it out to be. It was feminism 101, with the core message being the patriarchy oppresses women, and grossly limits men. A message that's still controversial in 2024, but not one we haven't heard before.

Still, it was an incredibly fun movie, and Barbie was a great heroine. The moment she chose the high heel over the Birkenstock, I knew I'd love her, and I was right.

I love Avatar: The Last Airbender. It was so ahead of its time, and is an example of how complex 'kid' shows can be. It's pretty hard for me to pick a favorite character, but if I was forced to choose, I'd say Uncle Iroh.

Long ago, I saw a comment about how if there was a character that embodied the pleasant warmth of a fire place or cackling campfire, it'd be Uncle Iroh. I completely agree. He's the perfect mentor, standing in Zuko's corner no matter what he wanted to do, while subtly guiding him down the right path. He also wasn't blind to his nephew's flaws, but never addressed them in a way that made Zuko feel unwanted. Even after being backstabbed, he was simply sad that Zuko lost his way.

We don't see his character arc on screen, but we know he underwent an incredible transformation, going from a fearsome Fire Nation general, to a humble old man reflective about life, though he can still kick ass if needed.

Leaves From The Vine still makes me feel mushy and teary-eyed. It's bittersweet knowing that losing his son was the catalyst for him to become the character we see, and the reason he's so dedicated to Zuko. He's trying to prevent him from suffering the same fate, and right a wrong that's haunted him for so long. Learning that the tears in Iroh's voice was genuine, because that was one of the final things Mako Iwamatsu recorded before passing, made me want to curl up in bed. He brought the character to life, and is one reason he's so iconic.

Finally, Mr. Shouta Aizawa's fine ass. Now, besides just being fine, I love him for many of the reasons I love Iroh. He's nowhere as cheerful and warm as Uncle Iroh, but he takes his role as a teacher and mentor seriously. He stands in his students corner no matter what, and has shown time and time again that he'd give his life for them. Furthermore, he isn't a hero for fame or recognition, but because he believes it's the right thing to do. He knows the society he lives in is flawed, and tries to right U.A's quirk prejudice system by mentoring Hitoshi.

One might not peg him as it, but he's a very parental character. It's shown with his students, with Hitoshi, and most especially Eri. He's dedicated to guiding the next generation to achieve their fullest potential. Plus, his quirk is cool as hell, and he can throw hands.

Bonus:

Anya Forger and Nezuko, because they make me reconsider my stance on children. They're so cute, and highlights of their respective shows. And I love how Anya is shown to be childishly intelligent. It's due to her powers, but still.

TF141 also gains an honorable mention, especially my baby girl Ghost. Despite being the most secretive character of the task force, we have the most information on his background, and I love his fruity friendship with Johnny. Likewise, I love the mentor relationship Gaz and Price have. On a hornier note, I wish there were more threesome fics with Gaz and Price taking a lucky lady to Pound Town. All and all, these four awful people are my favorite pieces of military propaganda.