#Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

[usualgangofidiots]

Back cover of MAD #264, July 1986

Artist & Writer: Al Jaffee

[tomoleary]

Al Jaffee "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions at Richard M. Nixon High" Original comic art for Mad #268 (EC, Jan. 1987)

[vintage-tech]

Truly a genius, and I read somewhere that there was only one issue in all those years he didn’t make a Fold-In for. I liked his articles more than the Fold-Ins, because the guy had an amazingly creative mind and awesome drawing style.

[frogshunnedshadows]

Humorous book titles and fake names from history, part 347.

From the biography of Robert Armin, Elizabethan actor.

[ros-sauce]

People are using chatgpt to answer the discussion questions in business communications you people cannot do anything

[ilivelikeimtrying]

Okay but Nimona would defs print this on a shirt and give it to Amb after he earns their trust as a gag gift.

Like, she does it with intent of course (laughing evilly as she hands it to him) and as a joke, and while Ballister is sighing and face palming Ambrosius actually really loves it.

He starts wearing it often.

[solvisun]

011925. cw | slightly suggestive (?) i hate him (affectionate)

if tsukishima kei learns the full extent of you losing your mind over the minuscule of things with everything he does,

babe, you’re done for.

if he learns that removing his glasses while kissing you makes your stomach do saumersaults, or when he fixes your clothes casually; smoothing down your skirt or adjusting your shirt, hand on your waist. or when he cups your face and squeezes both of your cheeks together, when it shows that he loves the physical touch in ways that feel crude if you say it aloud. in ways that no one else can speak about, makes you so mushy with him. to the point that it makes you sick, head throbbing.

if he learns that you find his jealousy kind of attractive, all cutting and ruthless, snappy. that you're totally not weak in the knees. if he learns that whenever he leans in whenever you speak is the cause of why you feel flustered, when he hums softly in question, tilting his head, or when he just hook you in his arms to get closer.

god. he will take absolute pleasure in pushing those buttons even more—actually, he’d press them with the precision of someone who knows exactly how far he can go to leave you reeling, all while pretending it’s no big deal.

and this is exactly what happens, as expected, but no less frustrated.

when he realizes how much removing his glasses during a kiss messes you up, he’d start doing it slow and methodical, taking his time to set them aside while giving you that piercing look, like he knows exactly what’s coming next. “what, nervous?” he’d ask, leaning in just a fraction, his tone laced with mockery, but his lips soft when they finally meet yours.

those casual touches? forget it. his hands—though he would ask first—roam your body and let them linger around your waist dangerously longer than necessary, you're not making it up now, you know you feel the slight squeezes his does on your skin, letting his fingers graze, just enough to send shivers down your spine.

when he holds your face in one hand, there’s something about how his thumb lingers near your jawline or how he leans in just a little too close. it’s playful, sure, but there’s a tenderness beneath it that leaves you spinning. because he knows. he knows all too well.

it's game over when he finally does this—one arm braced above your head, his whole figure towering over you, casting a shadow which makes him look ten times more insufferable. you cannot breathe.

his lips hover just shy of yours, so close you can feel the warmth of his breath. “do i really make you that nervous?”

"fuck off."

"really? that’s all you’ve got? how original.”

“kei, i swear to—” you start, but the words catch in your throat as his thumb brushes the curve of your jaw, the touch barely there but devastating all the same.

“what? gonna tell me to stop?” the glint in his eyes turns playful, pupils dilated, “you’re all talk, aren’t you?”

your hands twitch at your sides, torn between shoving him away and pulling him closer. “i hate you,” you hiss, but it lacks any real bite.

“sure you do,” he says, his tone dripping with mockery, and then—because of course he does—he closes the infinitesimal gap between you, his lips brushing against yours with infuriating slowness.

he kisses you chastely. it feels so wrong with how he already built so much tension. that this all just a stupid game he can easily control.

there’s a distinct edge of smugness to it, like he’s savoring every second of your undoing. when he pulls back just slightly, his forehead resting against yours, the smirk is still there, lingering at the corners of his mouth.

“still want me to fuck off?” he asks, though he already knows the answer to it.

you can only scoff and roughly smack your lips against his in a solid, and very straightforward reply. your heart pounding so loudly it drowns out everything else.

he relents to you just as easily, this is why he simply can't get enough of you.

my stupid writers block is not making me write properly for the hershey’s kisses mini series so i had to pull this stupid drabble outta my sick ass (coughing loudly as we speak)

[seumyo]

BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 8:46

“Do you have dimples?”

Bakugou doesn’t understand it himself, but you always find your way back to his house after your first visit—asking these out-of-the-blue questions that seem to have no end to them. It’s like a curse has befallen him, one that follows him wherever he goes.

For a moment, his eyes snap in your direction, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side, though his intense glare never once wavers. He didn’t know what the hell you were getting at, and he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to even want to know why you were asking about something so random.

Honestly, he should be used to it by now. But the thing is, he isn’t, because sooner or later you’ll be popping out of nowhere with another of your pointless questions.

“Hah?”

“I asked, do you have dimples?” you repeated.

His eye twitches at the repeated question, and as much as he’d like to give you a snappy remark to get you to stop, he can’t seem to come up with one. So, for the time being, he decides to humor you (and hope for the best that you drop it and move onto another topic).

“Why the hell are you asking?”

“Because Kaminari and I made a bet whether you have dimples or not. I went with yes, you do have them—even if it’s a singular dimple, but Kaminari says otherwise,” you explained, tapping your finger softly against the coffee table.

He scoffs at the childish reason. “And what makes you think I do have one?”

“A hunch,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “I also have just one.” You smiled, showing off your obvious singular dimple on your right cheek.

Bakugou glances at your dimple for a brief moment, eyes scanning over your face and the way that the dimple seemed to perfectly dip into the soft skin of your cheek. He almost found himself entranced for a moment, but his gaze returned to your eyes as he huffed out in mock disinterest.

He was about to dismiss your hunch—maybe just flat-out refuse to even show you—or come up with a lie. But Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t a liar.

“What happens if you win the bet?”

“I get 3000 yen,” you answered.

That’s a lot, he thought.

“I can pay you 3000 yen to shut the fuck up and stop with the useless questions.”

“There’s no fun in that!”

He scoffs again as he leans back against the sofa, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at your stupidity. He eyed you for a moment, his head tilting to the side as he sighed. “And what happens if you lose the bet?”

“He gets 3000 yen.”

Bakugou almost wanted to laugh at the fact that you were putting so much faith and money on a simple guess, but he managed to hold back on the amused expression and forced himself to remain calm and unbothered.

He leaned back a bit more, relaxing against the plush seats, letting out a mocking “tch” before he said, “What if I don’t show you if I have a damn dimple or not?”

“Please? Oh my god, Bakugou. Don’t do this to me now! Kaminari’s going to do a ‘victory dance’ when he finds out he won by default,” you half-whined.

He was about to give you his final choice when suddenly you started whining at him. Bakugou rose an eyebrow at you, lips quirking to a frown. As idiotic as it is to him, it looks like it was quite a serious matter to you.

“Tch. Whatever.”

You threw your hands to your face, groaning. “Pretty please, with a cherry on top? Spare me some sympathy—and be a team player for once!”

He found himself fighting a scowl at the way you acted. It was somewhat different this time around, and it was making him feel weird. Damn it. You’re a goddamn nuisance.

“Alright, fine. Just—” He motioned with his hand for you to come closer, an almost annoyed expression on his face. “If you tell anyone else about this other than Dunce Face, I’ll make sure you don’t ever see the next sunrise.”

“That doesn’t sound heroic at all—but yes, of course!” you cheered. “Just a little smile, and I shall confirm the goods.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up,” he muttered under his breath, already regretting giving into your stupid request but at the same time knowing that he would never let Kaminari win against you in all circumstances possible.

He let out a huff and hesitantly let the sides of his own lips quirk up into a half-assed attempt at a smile, but from the way it was so rigid, it looked more like a painful grimace.

You gave him a confused, somewhat flat look in return. “Dude, you look like you’re about to shit yourself—mmph! ” You didn’t get to finish what you were saying as Bakugou’s palms immediately squished your cheeks together to shut you up.

“Oh shut it, dipshit,” Bakugou grumbled, his grip on your cheeks tightening ever so slightly as he forced you to pout your lips. “You were asking for a smile. I give one, and you wanna give me smart ass remarks about it?”

“I didn’ even gwet toh shee anythin’! That’s how bwad ith was,” you muffled out through pouty lips.

“Are you gonna keep yapping and bitching about what you asked for, or are you gonna accept my goddamn smile?”

“Fine, fine!” you yielded, pushung his hands away from your face. “Do it one more time, and I’ll actually check this time.”

He narrowed his eyes, almost as if he were wondering if you were going to actually do as you said or go against it and keep making smart-ass comments. But as you yielded, he let out a sigh and decided he’d rather just get this done and over with. 

Less hassle for him.

He repeated his ‘smile’ from before, which looked more like a forced sneer, and he waited for your verdict. This was his last straw; he was going to murder you (not).

You had to hold back your laughter but failed to do so. “I really can’t— Bakugou, please! ” you mused, hitting his shoulder playfully. “Your ‘smile’ reminds me of that time Kirishima had to hold the biggest shit before the bell rings.”

That caught Bakugou off guard. He remembered the memory of Kirishima’s panicked expression and the weird waddle he’d walked around in as he desperately tried to find a bathroom made Bakugou snort under his breath.

“Oh my god, you’re laughing!” you gawked. “And have a dimple! Just a singular one, like mine! We’re matching.”

There it was. A singular dimple on his left cheek.

Bakugou tried to regain his lost composure and let out a scoff in an attempt to mask the slight tint of pink that reached the tip of his ears. He forced his hand onto your face, shoving you (lightly, if he may add) away from him to prevent you from getting another look at his dimple.

“It’s not a worldwide discovery, dumbass. I can fucking laugh if I want to, and it’s just a fucking indent on the cheek.”

“Still cute,” you shrugged, pulling up your phone to text Kaminari. “I need to let Kami know that I won the bet, then we celebrate with bubble tea— my treat!”

“Hey wait— You—“

He tried to protest against your sudden celebration, wanting to tell you that he wasn’t going to let you treat him for anything. This whole damn thing started because of a stupid bet, and he doesn’t really find joy in gaining something from it, but as you pulled out your phone and began to text Kaminari, he sighed and leaned back again with his arms crossed tight against his chest.

“Whatever. You’re fucking annoying.”

“Kay,” you answered. “Also, your actual smile is pretty charming, if you ask me. It’s different from the usual sneer you have on your face. That’s just my opinion, though.”

Bakugou’s face grew a bit warm at your unexpected compliment, but he quickly tried to hide it and turned his head to avert his gaze away from you. His mouth opened to reply with a snappy remark or something like that, but he found himself hesitating.

He eventually scoffed and muttered a low, “Tch. Stop spouting nonsense.”

“Bakugou Katsuki has a singular dimple,” you sing-songed aloud, though you knew that no one would hear since his parents weren’t even home.

Bakugou felt his eyes twitch at your teasing, resisting the urge to tell you off and even going as far as to just punch your shoulder lightly. “Shut the fuck up, dipshit.”

He later found out that there was no bet, and you had just made up the whole scenario to confirm your curiosity. That Bakugou Katsuki does have a dimple, a singular one at that.

Could you imagine how furious he was?

SEUMYO © 2024, PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.

[caramel-maive-chiato]

Accidental pregnancy and rivals to lovers with Viktor, with some “They hate each other, but now they have to co-parent a kid” vibes too?

Stuck with you - Viktor ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Summary: You and Viktor had been rivals for a long time, until one day after an argument, you both get tangled in the sheets, and one time is enough to cause a nightmare for both of you.

masterlist | Part 2.

✦ genre: drama/hurt-comfort

✦ pairing: fem!reader (afab)

✦ tw!: mild cursing, mentions of s3xual relations (no actual explicit content), Viktor being kind of an asshole to you.

✦ author`s note: hit me up in the comments or my dms if you want a part 2, I really want to do it cause I couldn't reach the 'to lovers' part of the trope without this being extremely long. Hope you like it!

It was stupid.

It was so stupid that now you had a 2-month bump under your belly, that your pants didn’t fit, that you were craving strawberries because of him.

If you had ever asked yourself a year ago if you would become pregnant with your rival's baby, you would have just scratched it as nonsense.

So why were you now? You always wanted kids, but you never thought you were getting a kid as white as paper, peppered with moles in its face, curly brown hair? golden eyes? His golden eyes.

Viktor, how do you start to describe Viktor? He was the most snappy bitch you ever met and he wasn’t even a woman, he was determined to be better than you, to be smarter than you, to handle Heimmerdinger his reports at 7 am to make you look like a mess when you showed up at 10 with yours, he was making sure his whole hextech deal was a ‘Jayce and Viktor dream’ when you were there too.

You were always Heimmerdinger's most well-protected students, scholarships covered, gifted new uniforms and library passes to enter the whole day and even night. You two were always head to head, actually really good acquaintances and late-night study partners.

Until he stomped on you to be Heimmer's assistant, he purposely made you fall on his bait and then bit like the most experienced shark any small fish had ever feared.

Since then, you two will always share side-eyed glances and bumped shoulders in the hallways like immature kids.

Until Jayce and the professor asked you to join the hextech production, you were great at energy stabilizers, one of the things they were lacking. Then years passed, and you always had a new chore to help with; you found yourself immersed in Hextech more than you realized, and he didn’t like that.

More than once, you two got caught in long ethical debates about progress, meritocracy, and calculations. And the answer in your brain was always the same.

'He is so hot I want to punch that stupid smirk out of him or kiss it deeper into his asshole face'

You never thought those thoughts would end up somewhere in reality until that night. And you didn’t though he felt the same way about you.

“You can't just go around pointing your hexclaw thing everywhere in the lab, Viktor!” you sighed, and your tone was the closest it had ever gotten to scolding a child, hands gripping your notebook, imagining it was that thick, attractive and smart, square head of his.

“Sorry" he said not even looking at you while taking the gemstone out of the leather glove

You slammed your notebook onto the table, the sharp crack of paper against wood cutting through the silence. “You never listen, do you? You just charge ahead like you’re the only genius in the room.”

Viktor scoffed, crossing his arms. “And you never stopped questioning everything I did. If you were so certain of your ideas, perhaps you should have been Heimerdinger’s assistant instead of me. Oh, wait—you weren’t.”

Your jaw tightened. "Right. Because you made sure of that. You took half of my research, paraded it around like it was yours to fix, and left me sunk in the dust."

Viktor stepped closer, his voice cold. “I did what I had to do. If you weren’t prepared for competition, then maybe you shouldn’t be here now.”

You laughed bitterly. “Competition? Is that what you call backstabbing? You used me, Viktor. You saw an easy way to climb higher, and you took it.”

His jaw clenched, his eyes dark with something unreadable. “I improved on what you had. Something you clearly weren’t capable of doing yourself.” you were now trapped between him and the desk.

Fury surged in your chest as you stepped into his space, close enough to see the flicker of challenge in his gaze. "You arrogant, self-righteous—!"

You felt his breath on your face, and when you focused, you actually focused, your faces were inches away

“-asshole” you whispered, his eyes shifting between your own and your lips

And then you kissed, and then you ended up on the couch, kissing aggressively, clothes pulled aside, moans stifled for your own pride. And then your period was late. And then you wanted to throw up at the smell of expresso coffee.

He didn’t even look up when you walked in the lab. “If this is about the new project, I already—”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words left your mouth before you lost your nerve. No buildup. No soft approach. Just the truth, slicing through the lab’s quiet like a knife.

Viktor froze. The pen in his hand hovered over his notes, ink pooling in place. For a long moment, he just stared at the page as if he could pretend he misheard you.

Then, finally, he set the pen down. Slowly. Carefully. “…What?”

Your arms crossed, tension coiling in your stomach. “You heard me.”

His eyes snapped up to yours, searching for any trace of a joke. When he found none, his expression cracked into something sharp and disbelieving.

“This—” He exhaled harshly, dragging a hand through his hair. “This cannot be happening.”

“Oh, trust me, I wish it wasn’t” you shot back.

Viktor pushed back from his desk, standing too fast, gripping the edge like he needed it to keep upright. His mind was already spinning—calculating, fixing, solving—because that’s what he did. Except this wasn’t an equation. This wasn’t something he could just engineer his way out of.

His mouth opened, then shut. Then, in a voice that was entirely too high-strung for him, he let out a humorless chuckle.

“Oh, this is rich.” He rubbed his temple. “Out of all possible disasters… Of course, it had to be this one. With you.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, well, if it helps, you weren’t exactly my first pick for co-parent of the year either.”

He shot you a glare. “Forgive me if I do not find this particularly funny.”

“Yeah? Well, neither did I, but that didn’t stop me from laughing for ten minutes straight in absolute horror when I saw the test.” You leaned against the desk, giving him a dry smile. “I think I actually went a little insane.”

Viktor didn’t return the smile. He pressed his fingers to his temples, muttering something in Czech under his breath. Then, after a long pause, his fingers twitched in a vague, frustrated gesture. “But we—we only did it once.”

You deadpanned. “Wow, really? I totally forgot about that.”

“I am serious.”

“So am I.” You shrugged. “Turns out once was more than enough. Congrats, genius, you somehow managed to succeed at the one thing you probably weren’t even trying to do.”

Viktor let out an exasperated breath, dragging a hand down his face. “Oh, do not act as if I am the sole contributor to this catastrophe.”

“Oh, I’m well aware of my involvement, thank you.” You crossed your arms. “And let’s be real, it wasn’t exactly a stellar performance from either of us. I should’ve known nothing good would come from two people who hate each other trying to one-up each other in bed.”

Viktor let out a short, bitter laugh. “Yes, well, congratulations. You have won.”

“Great. My prize is morning sickness and your company. What a dream.”

Viktor groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose like this was physically causing him pain. “This is a nightmare.”

“Tell me about it.”

Silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating.

Finally, Viktor let out a slow breath, the initial shock dulling into something heavier. He looked at you properly this time—his sharp gaze, for once, uncertain.

“What… are you going to do?” His voice was quieter now, more careful.

You swallowed hard. “We, Viktor. What are we going to do?”

His fingers curled into a fist at his side, his jaw tight. “You assume I have an answer.”

“You always have an answer.”

“Not this time.”

For the first time since you’d met him, Viktor—the man who always had something to say—was speechless. And for the first time, you weren’t sure what to do with that.

The next morning, you walked into the lab expecting awkward silence, a few glares, and maybe even a full-blown argument if Viktor was feeling particularly irritable. What you didn’t expect was to find a cup of tea sitting next to your workstation.

You frowned. “What’s this?”

Viktor, hunched over his notes, didn’t even look up. “Tea.”

You picked it up, suspicious. It was still warm, a gentle herby scent rising from it. Definitely not the usual acidic bitterness of black coffee that always clung to the lab.

You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes. “You poisoned this, didn’t you?”

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Yes, clearly I am the type to commit murder via tea. So sorry, should have gone with something more dramatic.”

You smirked, but then realization hit—oh.

He’d noticed. He must’ve realized before that the smell of black coffee sent you gagging and rushing to the nearest bathroom, though he hadn’t put the pieces together at the time.

“You noticed?” you asked, watching him carefully.

“I am observant,” he said, still scribbling. “I simply assumed you had bad taste. But no, turns out you were just harboring my child.”

You snorted. “That’s one way to put it.”

Viktor finally glanced up, and there was something unreadable in his gaze. Something careful, like he was still feeling his way through this whole thing. Then he exhaled through his nose, tapping his pen against the desk.

“I thought about it.”

You raised an eyebrow. “About what?”

He gave you a flat look. “Do not make me say it.”

You just sipped your tea, waiting.

Viktor rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers against the armrest. “I will parent the child with you.”

You blinked. "oh.”

“That is all you have to say?”

You shrugged. “I mean, I figured you weren’t going to run off to some secret second lab and pretend this never happened.”

“Tch. You overestimate my options.” He tilted his head, a sharp smirk tugging at his lips. “Besides, I would hate to give you the satisfaction of complaining about how I ruined your life and abandoned you.”

You snorted. “Oh, please. I was already planning my ‘tragic single mother’ era. Could’ve milked so much sympathy from it.”

“Cynical and manipulative. Remind me, how did I ever end up in bed with you?”

You smirked over your tea. “Burnout and an argument.”

He made a thoughtful noise, then muttered, “Should have stuck to arguing.”

You kicked his chair. “Too late.”

Viktor shook his head, sighing dramatically. Then, quieter, he added, “You are fucking insufferable.”

There was no venom in it, though. If anything, it almost sounded… affectionate.

You hummed, cradling the tea between your hands. “Yeah, well, at least I have an excuse now.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

You let out a short, dry chuckle, shaking your head. “Yeah. Can’t be that insufferable if someone’s gonna call me mom.”

The words hung in the air, heavier than they had any right to be.

Your smirk faltered.

Your throat tightened.

Someone’s going to call you mom.

It wasn’t just a snide remark anymore. It was real. A real person. A real child, who was going to depend on you for everything.

The realization hit like a gut punch, and before you could stop yourself, your breath hitched. Your eyes burned.

Shit.

You curled in on yourself, gripping the edge of the desk, blinking rapidly. No, no, not here, not in front of him—

But Viktor noticed.

His smirk faded. His hands stilled on the desk. For a second, he just watched you, his brows furrowing the way they did when he encountered a problem he couldn’t immediately solve.

Then, awkwardly, hesitantly, he shifted closer.

Not much—just a slight lean forward, his hand twitching as if he wanted to reach out but thought better of it. Instead, his knee bumped against yours under the desk.

You stiffened at the contact, but Viktor didn’t move away.

“…It is terrifying,” he admitted, voice quieter now. “Is it not?”

You swallowed hard. “You think?”

“I know.” His lips twitched something dry and self-deprecating passing through his expression. “It is you I am trapped with, after all.”

You let out a breathy, wet laugh. “Wow. Romance is dead.”

“Mm. And yet, somehow, it seems like you are the one who killed it.”

You rolled your eyes, biting back a shaky smile. God, you hated him. You hated how he knew exactly what to say to stop you from spiraling.

Your fingers curled around the edge of the desk, steadying yourself. “We’re really doing this, huh?”

Viktor exhaled slowly, then gave you the smallest, barest nod.

“It seems so.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting it sink in. Then, with a deep breath, you opened them and met his gaze.

“Okay,” you murmured.

Viktor nodded again. And though he still looked thoroughly exasperated, there was something else there now—something steadier.

“…Okay.”

Part 2? @forlornghosts

[kamiversee]

˗ˏˋ My Love Note ´ˎ˗

5 | My hearts light

❧ Synopsis | In which Choso Kamo, your asshole of a best friend, starts to change after you get involved with a rather cheeky cashier, Gojo Satoru.

❧ Content | language, heavy sexual tension, flirting, teasing, taunting, degrading, dry humping, fluff, etc.

❧ Word Count | 6.1k

❧ Pairings | Choso Kamo x f!reader & Gojo Satoru x f!reader.

| Chapters mlist |

——The kitchen seems to fall all too quiet at the sound of Choso’s recently spoken words. With not an ounce of jest present on his face, he just awaits your, usually snappy, response back to him.

Except, this time seemed to be different. You weren’t quick to snap back at him. You were actually caught off guard by his words. And because of that, Choso’s raising a brow and leaning his face down to your level just to check and see if you were okay— all he did was offer you head. What’s the big deal?

“You alright?” Choso hums, raising his hand slightly as if he were about to feel your forehead.

You pull back a bit, “Choso, you just told me you’d give me head if I asked you.”

He glances around as if he didn’t see anything strange about it, “Because it’s true?” Choso scoffs, “Seriously, are you okay? You’re acting like I haven’t said worse before-“

“You’ve never offered me anything like that before,” You cut off, moving to fold your arms as you slightly avoid looking him in the eye.

“Yes, I have,” He huffs, rolling his eyes at you, “But, whatever. Aside from your boyfriend givin’ you head, how was that party?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Choso,” You reply sternly.

The corner of his lips quirked, “Delusion isn’t contagious, is it? Cause if so, I’m gonna leave this apartment deluded as fu-“

“I’m not delusional!” You cut off for a second time, groaning in frustration, “Me and Satoru are not dating.”

“…Yet,” Choso murmurs, smirking at the way you visibly grow annoyed by him.

A sigh slips past your lips before you finally place your eyes on his again, spotting that stupid teasing smirk of his, “At this point, I can’t tell if you’re rooting for me and him to get together or if you’re just sayin’ shit to piss me off.”

“I’m jus’ sayin’ shit to piss you off,” Choso shrugs, “But you didn’t answer my question. How was the party?”

You give him a blank stare at first, to which he curiously tilts his head. “It was fine. He’s a part of this really rich and important family it seems.”

“Yeah? Well if you get anything outta’ your relationship with him, money would be nice,” Your best friend comments as he gives you a lil’ wink.

“You would say something like that,” You reply, chuckling a bit, “Anyway though, what about you? What have you been up to while I was out?”

Choso shrugs and he moves to take his phone out of his pocket, “I had someone over ‘nd we hung out for a bit, nothing too interesting.”

Your brows quickly lift in surprise, “You had someone over? Who?” Then, you gasp before he can even answer, “Was it a girllll?” You drag out with this happy smile on your face as you near him.

He glances up from his phone and scoffs, “Maybe, why?”

Your entire expression lights up in a mixture of curiosity and joy, “You guys jus’ hung out for a bit? Nothing else?” A sly little smirk spreads across your face.

He stares at your expression, blankly taking in your teasing face, “Yes.” Choso huffs.

“Somethin’ tells me you’re lying,” The way you’re looking at Choso right now has him contemplating a vast many things. He might not admit it too often but he really does like it when you tease him like this.

So, he sighs and pockets his phone again, leaning back against the counter a bit and folding his arms, “Why would I lie? You know I love braggin’ to you about how many times I get laid and you don’t.”

“Riiight, how could I forget…” You hum, looking off to the side for a second before your brows push together, “So like, you didn’t offer to give her head?”

Choso blinks, “Why would I?”

“You just offered it to me…”

“She’s not you.”

“I-,” You choke, “Oh.”

“What?” Choso smirks, “You didn't think I offered head to jus’ everyone, did you?”

Your shoulders rise into a slight shrug, “I don’t know… But like… you weren’t serious, were you?”

His brows lift and he gives you this innocent little stare, “About…?”

“You’d really give me head if I asked?” You hum, the eye contact between you and him palpable.

“That’s what I jus’ said, isn’t it?”

You and him pause once again as you simply stare at one another. After that moment, you swallow and roll your eyes to the side, “We don’t even have that kind of relationship, Cho.”

His face scrunches up a bit, “Two things; one, stop callin’ me that. And two, what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean— we’re best friends.” You emphasize.

That seems to annoy him for whatever reason, “Alright then fuck you.” He scoffs.

“Huh?” Confusion etches its way onto your features quickly, “What’d I do??”

He shrugs, “You jus’ friend zoned me as if we haven’t been something more before.”

“And how’d that work out for us then?” You snap back casually.

He falls quiet.

With a little hum, “Exactly.” You say.

Choso scowls in your direction, “Fuck you.”

“You want to.”

“I don’t.”

Shaking your head and crossing your arms over one another, you glance off to the side, “Seems like delusion actually is contagious after all.”

“Oh yeah? So let’s say I did want to fuck you,” He steps closer and you back up against the kitchen island, “Then what?”

Gulping, you merely gape up at him not knowing what to say. Your brain was short-circuiting all over again, “U-Uhm… Then uh…”

“Would you let me?” He hushes out as his hands move to the counter, carefully trapping you in between it and him. “Hm?”

You stare into his eyes for a second, your face heating up because of how close he is and how intimately he’s looking at you. “No,” You murmur, “I-I wouldn’t.”

“You wouldn’t?” He echoes, narrowing his eyes at you.

The way he looks right now— all close to you, larger frame in front of yours, hair loose and messily framing his face, dark brown eyes pouring into yours like he just couldn’t look away, and voice so low and almost patient with you that it made your knees weak.

You gulp, “I… I don’t know, Choso. Fuck off,” You result in saying as you lift a hand and push him away slightly.

He backs up as you do so and flashes a small smile at you, “Now it’s you ‘don’t know’?”

“If you wanna fuck someone so badly, call that girl you had over,” You try stepping away from him completely as you say that but his reply catches you off guard again.

“I didn’t say I wanted to fuck someone, I said I wanted to fuck you.” Choso clarifies.

As you meet his eyes once more, it’s very slow how he struggles to hold in his laughter. Choso starts chuckling at the look of surprise and confusion on your face before he walks past you completely to exit the kitchen.

“Okay, that one was a lil’ wild, I’m jus’ joking, relax,” He says whilst making his way back toward the living room where he’d been before you got home.

You’re still at a loss for words for a second longer before you snap out of it, “So, you said all that just to mess with me?” 

The sound of you slightly trailing behind him makes him shrug, “For the most part, yeah.”

“For the most part??” You bat your eyelashes at him in disbelief as the two of you soon enter the living room.

Choso quickly plops himself down on the nearest couch and lets out a sigh of relief and you stand not too far away from him with your arms folded. “Yeah, I meant some of the stuff I said.”

“Which part of what you said?” You ask, raising a brow in question.

He looks at you, “Want me to show you?”

At that, you decide to just drop this damn conversation. It was clear that Choso only had plans on teasing you and you were no longer in the mood for it. “Y’know what,” You sigh, “Never mind. I’m gonna go shower, I’ll be in there if you need me.”

He snickers as you quickly turn and walk away from him, his eyes lingering on your back profile-, more specifically your ass, for far longer than he realized up until you hit a corner and disappear from his line of vision.

It was fun teasing you, it’s always been fun teasing you. From high school all the way ‘til now, he doesn’t think he ever wants to stop taunting you. Even though at one point it was definitely you doing more of the teasing… Choso swears he’ll never be shy like he was as a teenager with you again. Even though part of him misses those days.

Y’know, where it was just you and him. Bickering and literally hating each other aside, at least it was just you and him.

Choso’s face twists into a slight scowl at that. Why did he care so suddenly that it wasn’t exactly just you and him anymore? You’ve both gone and dated other people plenty of times so why are things starting to bother him again now? He thinks about this for a few minutes longer before groaning slightly.

Maybe it was just because he forgot what flirting with you was like. After all, he’d only recently gotten out of a relationship so he somewhat forgot what your reactions were like.

That little look in your eyes when you're flustered… Choso tips his head back against the couch and sighs. The softness in your voice when you’re trying to act nonchalant. He swallows thickly the more he thinks. Slowly, Choso lifts his hand to his mouth and gently touches his lips, faintly recalling the feeling of your own on them.

It was years ago but, he remembers it all so vividly. Hearing you gasp his name, soft little whines slipping from your throat, the way your hands clung onto him so desperately, and the way you felt throbbing against his leg-

Shit, why is he thinking about that right now? Choso shakes his head and adjusts the way he’s sitting slightly, clearing his throat and moving to completely distract himself from wherever his mind was going just now.

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

Within that time, you were busy getting yourself in and out of the shower. Your mind was quick to draft back over to Gojo and the earlier events of the night.

Even as you exited your bathroom and laid yourself down on your bed, you remembered how he said he’d call you when he got home and yet there were no calls or even texts on your phone. It worried you a bit but you found yourself too nervous to text him.

Your thumb just hovered over his contact in your phone and you couldn’t figure out what to do. In person with him, things always go so smoothly but when it came to calling or texting him, you always found yourself shying away from it. Which is exactly what you do right now, letting out a sigh as you click your phone off and toss it.

You then push up off of your bed and move to throw some clothes on. As you do so, your mind is still on Gojo. You didn’t necessarily want to keep replaying tonight's events but…

Fuck, he was so perfect. Well, aside from the fact that you wanted him to fuck you properly. It kinda leaves you stumped as to why he didn’t. He had no problem fingering you and eating you out like you were his first and last meal. What’d be so different if he had put his cock inside you?

You nearly smile at the thought of it alone. Part of you hates how needy you are for it as if him focusing on your pleasure wasn’t good enough but, well, who could blame you? You felt how hard he was against you, the way he rolled his hips down into yours, groaning into your mouth, and-

Fuck, thinking about it was getting you worked up all over again.

As you finish clothing yourself, you sit on the edge of your bed and glance over at your discarded phone for a few seconds. You debate on calling him yet again but as you recall how adamant he was about not doing anything else tonight… you just sigh and move your gaze to the time.

It wasn’t too late yet and you’d parted ways with Choso roughly an hour ago. He should still be awake, right? You glance at your phone one last time as if you were waiting for it to buzz and for Gojo to capture your attention once more. Alas, your phone remains silent and you groan.

Standing to your feet, you let out a huff as you walk to exit your bedroom. If anyone could help you understand why Gojo refused to go any further tonight, party aside, it would be your manwhore of a best friend Choso Kamo.

Okay, well, he’s not actually a whore but, he does get around a lot when he wants to. Plus he’s a guy, he might understand Gojo’s thought process more than you can.

As such, when you walk out of your room, you’re met with a dark hallway, glancing around the remainder of your apartment to find all the lights off. You hum at the darkness before facing forward again and spotting juuust a bit of light from under Choso’s bedroom door across the hall.

You happily walk forward and knock on his door, waiting a couple of seconds as you hear him let out a dramatic groan followed by a muffled, “What is it?”

“You weren’t about to go to sleep were you?” You call out as you reach for the doorknob.

“Would it matter if I was?” Choso grumbles.

You chuckle, “Not really, can I come in?”

“No,” He huffs out in response.

“C’mon, I just have a quick questionnn,” You whine, slowly turning his doorknob.

Choso groans dramatically again, “Just text it to me.”

Your eyes roll, “You take like fifteen business days to respond to me.”

“That’s not true.” He argues.

“Yes, it is,” You refute as you press against the door slightly, “I’m coming in.”

He takes a second to reply, trying to come up with some sort of excuse before he hums out a simple, “I’m naked.”

You scoff, “Yeah right.”

“M’not jokin’, I don’t have anything on,” Choso tells you, grinning from where he is in his room.

“Well put somethin’ on because I’m about to open this door.”

He ends up sighing loudly at that, knowing damn well you know he’s not actually naked, “I can’t stand you. Come in.”

You happily push his room door open with a big smile on your face, leaving it nice and wide as you just barely step inside and spot him lying in his bed. “Hi Cho,” You greet with a small wave.

His room is dim, the only source of light coming from his TV that’s to your right, and only his upper half is visible to you— the rest hidden beneath his blanket. Choso’s shirtless so, he wasn’t fully lying when he said he was naked, “Hurry up ‘nd ask your question.” He says impatiently.

“Well, it’s actually less of a question and more of…” You hum in thought for a second as you cross your arms and lean against his doorframe, “Like, I need your advice.”

Choso sends you a look before raising his brow in curiosity, “Okay… what is it?”

“So uh, y’know how I told you earlier that Satoru gave me head…” You start off slowly, earning a small nod from the man across the room. “Well, I-“

“Knew you’d come complainin’ about him,” Choso murmurs to himself loud enough so you could hear.

You pause, “I’m not complaining about him, shut up.”

He chuckles at your response and throws his hands up in defeat, “Yes ma’am. Alright, continue.”

Your eyes linger on him with a slight glare before you sigh, “Does it make sense for him to not sleep with me after givin’ me head?”

Choso shrugs, “Maybe he jus’ doesn’t like you like that.”

“I’m being serious,” You huff.

“Right, right…” He nods, glancing off to think for a second, “Well, you said you two got interrupted so…”

“But see, that’s the thing,” You move to scratch the back of your neck, “He kept going while we were being interrupted so like, why not continue after the fact? Or even after the party?”

Choso hums softly as he thinks, “He probably wants it to be a reoccurring thing.”

You blink, “Elaborate please.”

“Dumbass,” Choso teases, “He didn’t sleep with you today so he can keep you interested in him— y’know, keep you wantin’ more.”

Your brows raise, “Ohhhh, that makes sense-“

“Buuut,” Choso cuts off as he moves to shrug, “If it was me, I’d have fucked you right then ‘nd there cause I know that’s enough to have you running back for more.”

Just like earlier, you choke. After which came the slight drop of your jaw while you stared at your best friend wondering where the hell that came from. He’s been making comments like this all night and it’s starting to throw you off.

Choso steadily looks at you, “What?” He asks, wondering why you look all surprised.

“Why do you keep comparing yourself to him?” You ask in a surprisingly soft tone.

“Elaborate,” He mocks.

“Like earlier, you said you could’ve made me cum more if I asked you for head instead of him.”

He looks around, “Because it’s true?” Choso replies, his tone confused.

“Cho…” You murmur, your eyes narrowing at the man, “Are you-“

“I swear to God if you ask me if I’m jealous of that guy, I’m kicking you out of my room,” Choso cuts off sharply.

You chuckle, the corner of your lips twitching into a smirk, “No, I was gonna ask if you had a crush on me or somethin’... Y’know, like old times?”

He scrunches his face up at that, “The fuck? Hell no.” Choso tells you.

You laugh and lift your hands a bit, “Alright, alright, no need to say it like that. Buuut, if you’re not jealous, and you don’t have some kinda crush on me then…”

He stares at you and you stare at him, both of you waiting for some kinda answer to just pop out.

Up until it hits you, “Wait, Cho…” You utter, narrowing your eyes a bit more.

“Stop callin’ me that,” He huffs.

“You wanna have sex with me, don’t you?” You suddenly throw out there.

Perhaps it was the dim lighting of the room and the way you could barely make out Choso’s expression but you swear his face changed at the sound of that. He didn’t look pissed off or disgusted by that suggestion like he was the first time. If anything, his gaze seemed to darken and his jaw tensed ever so slightly.

Choso doesn’t reply as quickly to that either, as if he had to think about it for a second. His expression became something a bit more serious and he tips his head back against his headboard, swallowing thickly at your question.

You tilt your head to the side and the two of you maintain eye contact with more tension than normal floating in the air. “…Well?” You whisper.

The next thing you’re met with is a pillow to the face faster than you had time to react. You swear you blinked and then a pillow was making contact with your head, followed by an obnoxious laugh from Choso as if you’d just said the most outlandish thing imaginable.

“The hell is wrong with you?” Choso snickers, all the more dying of laughter as you shut your eyes and process the pillow your face was recently met with. “Why would you ask me that? Fuckin’ idiot,” He chuckles.

You slowly open your eyes and look down at the pillow now at your feet, letting out a heavy sigh as you bend over and pick it up. Just as quickly as he’d thrown it at you, you’re lifting it and yourself up and taking those few steps closer to his bed just to whack him with the item as many times as possible.

Choso’s hands go up to stop you from hitting his face and you slightly shift onto his bed just to hit him over and over again.

Huffing in between your continuous hits, “Why’d you throw this at me?” You question before hitting him with the pillow again, “Asshole,” Another hit, “I was,” Another hit, “Askin’ you,” A harder hit, “A genuine,” The last hit ends up passing his arms and hitting him in the face like you wanted to, “Question.”

“It was a stupid ass question-,” He’s cut off by the pillow meeting his face but he just keeps laughing at you, “A-Alright, shit, sorry,” Choso snickers, “Stop hitting me.”

Do you listen to that little request of his? Of course not. Instead, you move further into his bed and continue playfully beating him up with that pillow of his. Choso kinda just takes it for a minute before he grows slightly annoyed and grabs a second pillow, quickly hitting you in your waist with it and knocking you over.

Not that it stops you though. Even as you land on your side, you just launch the pillow forward and it smacks right into his face, making both you and him halt all movements.

Because of the way he was sitting, the pillow just rests on his face and you breathlessly laugh at him, “Bitch,” You huff out victoriously.

Choso snatches the pillow off of his face and tosses it to the side, quick to meet your eyes, “The hell did you jus’ call me?” He scoffs as he tries to reach for that same pillow again, only for you to move and reach for it too.

Both of you end up gripping onto it and you try tugging it out of his hands but fail as Choso jerks both you and the pillow toward him. Which results in you stumbling against him, your body practically on top of his.

Choso smirks as he notices you stop moving, your face stuffed into the pillow that’s now right against his chest, “…Whore,” He mumbles, as if to claim this as his victory now.

You groan and move your hands and legs a bit before you push yourself up, soon finding yourself on all fours right in front of where he’s seated. Your face comes surprisingly close to his as it’s lifted from the pillow and you glare at him, ignoring the close proximity entirely.

“Say that again,” You test, your voice airy from all the movement.

Choso scoffs, “You’re acting like I won’t.”

“Say it then, call me a whore again-“

“Whore,” Choso cuts off curtly, watching as you swallow down your own words, “Yeah, see? Now what, hm?”

You glare at him, “Asshole.”

“Slut.” He argues back.

Your expression goes straight, “Bastard.”

“Cunt,” Choso murmurs with the same expression on his face.

“Piece of shit.”

“Fuckface.”

“What are we, twelve?” You end up sighing as you start leaning away.

Yet, Choso has something else in mind entirely as he carefully reaches for you and his hands meet your waist— soon pulling you toward him. You allow yourself to be repositioned until you’re seated in his lap, your thighs straddling him as you peer into those deep brown eyes of his.

“Were we cursing each other out like this at twelve?” Choso asks, his voice suddenly calmer as he fully catches his breath.

You comfort yourself in his lap like it’s no big deal, shrugging at his question, “I don’t think we knew each other at twelve.”

Choso’s fingers linger on your waist, idly keeping you in place on top of him, “Mh, fair point.”

You nod and both of you get quiet for a moment. You’re all seated on his lap, your spaghetti strap top loosely sitting on you at this point as one of the straps slips down your shoulder, you’d planned to go to sleep soon so you were only wearing shorts and you had no idea how dressed Choso was under the blanket that lay in between your crotch and his.

“Cho…” You eventually murmur out to him.

He leans his head back slightly and sighs, “How many times do I have to tell you to stop callin’ me that?”

You smile, “I’ve been calling you that for years, I know you secretly adore it.”

“I don’t,” Choso argues.

“Is that why you want me to stop saying it? Because you don’t like it?” Your voice is all soft with him again and he finds himself glancing down at your lips as you speak.

“No,” He claims, “I want you to stop saying it because…”

You lean in a bit and tilt your head, “Because what? Does it annoy you?”

Choso sighs, “Quite the opposite, princess.”

Your gaze softens at the mere sound of that pet name, “So what does it do to you then, Cho? Why should I stop calling you that?”

His voice has grown softer too, more mellow with you, more at ease. “Because I asked you to,” Choso replies.

You blink, “But-“

“What’d you really come in here for?” He says to change the subject entirely.

“Huh?” Your brows pinch together, “For advice, remember?”

The man stares at you for a long moment, contemplating things in his head the longer he gazes at you. “So how’d you end up on top of me like this?” Choso practically mumbles, his eyes suddenly dipping down to your frame seated all prettily in his lap.

You scoff, “You pulled me into your lap, Cho.”

“You didn’t stop me,” He reminds you.

That causes you to pause for a moment. Then, you nod slightly and begin to lift yourself up as if you were about to move elsewhere only to be stopped by Choso’s hands tightening on your waist and his fingers digging into your skin as he drags you right back down.

“I didn’t say move,” Choso grumbles.

You send him a look, “You pointed out how I’m sitting on you as if you wanted me to move.”

“If I wanted you to move I would’ve moved you myself.”

“So what do you want then? ‘Cause you’re confusing me right n-“

He cuts you off, “I want you to answer my question. What’d you really come in here for?”

Your lashes bat at him in pure confusion, “I answered you already. I came in here for advi-“

“You could’ve texted me and asked me.”

“You don’t respond fast enough.”

“The longest I’ve gone without answering your text was ten minutes,” Choso deadpans, “And that was only because my phone died so, again, what’d you really come in here for?”

“I don’t understand why you keep asking me that,” You huff, your eyes vexed with even more confusion, “I didn’t feel like texting you so I just walked across the hall to talk to you.”

“Yeah but-“

“Did you want me to come in here for something else?” You interrupt.

That catches him off guard and he pauses. “…What?”

“You heard me.”

Choso scoffs quietly, “What else would I want you in here for?”

You shrug and recall his earlier words and statements, “You’ve been making sexual comments toward me all night.”

He rolls his eyes at that and his head shakes slightly, “I told you I was jus’ messin’ with you.”

“Not about everything you said.”

“Okay? So?” Choso hums, his eyes steady to meet your face once more, “What’s your point?”

The tension in the room is simply building and building at this point, his hands still lightly holding onto your waist.

A sigh slips past you, “What do you want from me, Cho?”

His tongue slips out for a moment just to swipe over his lips, “If I tell you what I want, can I have it?”

Your gaze flickers down to his mouth for less than a second, “Depends on what it is you want.”

“What if it’s you?” Choso finally asks.

You still don’t think he’s being too serious right now so all you do is hum, “Is it?”

“Maybe.”

“Since when?”

“Huh?” Choso blinks.

You’re having a hard time understanding how he’s the one confused right now, “Why do you want me all of a sudden?” You ask.

“I mean like…” He swallows and you notice how his eyes rake all over your face, “Not romantically.”

“Then what? You-,” You pause, “Oh. So… you do wanna have sex with me.”

Your best friend raises a brow, “You’re acting like I said I didn’t.”

“I-,” You cut yourself off again, your voice getting caught in your throat.

“You what?” He says, intrigued by your reaction.

“I uhm…” You’re dumbfounded yet again. What are you supposed to say to that? “Choso…” You whisper, unsure of what to say next.

He smirks, “Hm? What is it? Use your words, princess.”

“Since when do you…”

“Oh, don’t act all innocent now,” Choso sighs, his arms steadily wrapping around your waist and pulling you so that your chest is flush against his, “Y’know I’ve wanted you in that way for years now.”

Your mouth merely opens and closes like a fish out of water as you find yourself at a complete loss of words yet again.

Choso casually stares at your lips and tips his head to the side, “And before you ask me something stupid like ‘what changed’,” He whispers to you, “Only difference between now and any other time before is that I’m not drunk and neither of us is in a relationship.”

Well, shit. He makes a damn good point. Plus, he’s just talking about sex— not actually dating you or anything.

Gulping, you begin to stumble over your words, “C-Choso, I-“

“Don’t act like you don’t feel it,” He sighs, leaning in and tipping his head down past your face.

You tense up as his fingers spread along your back and his lip near your neck, “Feel what?”

“Me,” Choso whispers right against your skin, his breath warm whilst he fights the urge to kiss you.

“I-I can’t just…” You end up trailing off as Choso loses that little battle of self-restraint, his lips just barely pressing into your soft skin.

“Why not?” He mumbles, “I know that’s what you came in here for.”

Your face scrunches up slightly, “What? No, I-“

Choso suddenly nips at your neck and his hands slip down to your hips, “You complained about Gojo not fucking you and now I’m right here.”

You hate the way a gasp exits you the moment he pulls on your hips, “Choso…”

“I know that’s all you want, princess,” He rasps out, planting a kiss under your jaw and catching you by surprise. 

The blanket in between you and him seems thin all of a sudden because you swear you feel some sort of pressure building in between your crotch and his. And you know what that pressure is, you know he’s driving you crazy right now and that deep deep down inside this might’ve been why you really came in here all along.

Your lips part, “I…”

“Lemme give it to you,” Choso offers as his hands guide your hips back and forth once more, providing the slightest bit of friction for you, “If not,” His breath tickles your skin the most he speaks, “Jus’ say stop and you know I will.”

“Cho,” You nearly moan as his nickname leaves your lips.

He smiles against you, “Lift your hips for me, princess,” Choso instructs.

And you do, raising yourself ever so slightly so he can tug that stupid blanket of his out of the way. Then he’s seating you back down onto his lap and this time your eyes simply widen at the way his cock twitches below you.

Only a few layers of clothing lay in between you and him now but you could feel him so vividly already. Hence why you shift your hips forward as if to test the waters, your heartbeat increasing as you swallow thickly.

Choso kisses your neck one last time before his lips move to your ear, “That’s it,” He praises, “C’mon…” His voice was so damn deep, a husky undertone making you so weak as your hips rocked against him, “Jus’ tell me you want it.”

“I don-, hah…” Your breath hitching cuts you off from lying to him.

“You asked me if I wanna have sex with you right?” Choso suddenly recalls.

You nod, “Mhm..”

“I don’t,” He finally answers, smiling a bit, “I wanna have rough sex with you,” He clarifies moments later, gripping onto your hips together as he feels your cunt rubbing against his cock through all the layers of fabric, “Wanna fuck you stupid, make you feel good-, shit,” He gasps as your hips speed up the more he talks, “Wanna… hahh, fuck… Can we-“

“Yeah,” You breathe out quickly, glancing down to watch his cock grow hard against you as you grind on him.

Choso almost chokes, “Yeah?” He echoes.

You nod, blinded by the lust and hormones that’s taken over you, “Uhuh.”

“Say it, princess,” He demands, “Tell me you want it-“

“I want it, Cho,” You murmur as your gaze lifts to his face, “I want you to make me feel good.”

He throws his head back at that and a deep groan leaves his throat. Choso’s grip on your hips is almost bruising and you start to feel the way he lifts his hips up slightly to meet your movements. Both of you gasp at the same time as you grind against him the right way and your mind kinda just goes blank.

“Choso, please-,” You couldn’t even get the rest of the plea out before his lips were crashing into yours.

One of his hands went to your neck as he held you tightly, tugging your lips back on his every time you tried pulling away from him. Choso’s lips were hot and haste against yours, his tongue soon to slide into your mouth.

He’s moaning as soon as his tongue hits yours and you’re whining against him. It was so fast and messy, eagerness laced into every little movement. The fingers wrapped around your throat squeeze slightly and your whines get louder against him.

Oh he was so unbelievably hungry for you. He hadn’t felt your lips on his in years and he forgot that kissing you turned him on to a different degree.

“Fuuck,” Choso rasps into your mouth, that husky pitch making your hips stutter in pace. “Don’t stop,” He says, “Need this-, need you.”

He was just mindlessly babbling against you but your cunt was dripping because of it all. The hand on your hip slips up under your shirt and Choso’s steadily working it up, his fingertips warm against your bare skin.

Choso’s cock was aching beneath you, wildly twitching as you rocked yourself back and forth against him. His hips bucked up against you and he swore his eyes were about to roll to the back of his head when your hands suddenly went to his chest and you pushed him back against his headboard.

His breath hitches and he loses his grasp on you completely. Choso gapes up at you confused for less than a second before you’re tugging your shirt up and tossing it elsewhere. He doesn’t even process the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra because he just wants your lips again.

As such, he’s leaning forward, grabbing your waist, and pushing you back as he ends up on top of you. Then Choso’s rolling his hips down into you, finding your wrists and pinning them up above your head, panting, his eyes low-lidded on yours, and his hair tickling the sides of your face.

“Oh fuck,” He grunts, “Need you, princess,” Choso nearly moans.

His hips just roll and roll down against you as he humps his hard cock against you with pure need and want. 

“Take me, Cho,” You gasp.

He shakes his head, “Don’t tell me that,” Then he’s grinding down faster and pressing his lips to yours again, “M’gonna treat this pussy how she’s supposed to be treated, alright?” He hums, his lips grazing yours.

Your lashes bat up at him, “And how’s that?”

Choso cracks a smirk, “Like a fuckin’ slut.”

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[issysh3ll]

how did Matt first start tracking reader's cycle in Phases?

Ooo good question!

Matt has noticed a change in you lately, but he's not sure what it could be. Originally, he thought he'd done something wrong. Last week you were so snappy and short with him, you said no to everything he suggested and he didn't see your smile even once.

But this week is different again. Now it's less like you're mad and more like you're exhausted. The bags under your eyes are huge and moving seems to be too hard for you. He watches as your phone lights up and you glance at it briefly before diving into your bag and retrieving something and then excusing yourself to the bathroom.

As soon as you’re gone, curiosity wins over and Matt reaches for your bag. Pulling the zip open he finds a collection of small blue and pink plastic wrapped items. He fishes one out and tears the plastic open, a faint blush rising to his cheeks as he realises what he's holding. A tampon.

Suddenly he feels stupid. He should have connected the dots, the mood swings and tiredness make more sense now. He knows you're struggling, but he doesn't know how to help. Whipping out his own phone a quick google search tells him a heat pack and chocolate are the best solutions.

The answer he found is quickly covered by an ad for an app. The pink logo flashes on the screen followed by some words that intrigue him.

Want to understand your partner's cycle? Learn how to help your partner during their period!

Yes. Yes he does want to know these things. Matt clicks on the ad and downloads the app. While he's waiting for it to load he heads to the kitchen, wanting to test the chocolate and heat pack idea he found.

When you return from the toilet, Matt hands you a block of chocolate without saying anything. The smile that lights your face tell him he's done the right thing and he quickly follows it up by tucking the warm heat pad he fetched onto your stomach.

Later that day, Matt reads through the instructions given by his new app and marks today as the first day of your period. Immediately suggestions pop up on the screen of ways he can help to reduce your cramps and help your body. He makes a mental note to try them all out tomorrow.

Phases series -> here Phases asks/requests -> here

[minminnatsus]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ WHITE LIES -> michael kaiser !!!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ ILYSB - STRIPPED by lany.

synopsis; in which you wonder when and what made kaiser want to propose to you, his darling partner cw: fluff, mentions of marriage/engagement, unproofread + lowercase, slight spoilers for his backstory, implied f!reader but can be interpreted as gn!, self-indulgent, perhaps ooc kaiser (lmk if i forget something!!!)

"ain't never felt this way . can't get enough so stay with me"

silence had fallen beneath your shared bedroom as you found yourself staring at the glinting sapphire on your ring finger, a sign of his devotion. had he been staring at you instead of the book he was reading, he'd see the gears turning in your head as you spoke:

"micha, why did you propose?"

"what?" kaiser turned to face you, the book forgotten as he placed it on the bedside table. when he processed your question, he scoffed.

"that's a stupid question. because you love me and i love you, obviously."

"No, duh! I meant like…what made you want to propose now?"

"oh, you should've worded it properly then, schatzi."

"don't be a prick, micha. well? the answer?"

a cocky grin graced his lips when he heard your snappy retort. he was silent for a while as he reminisced, his fingers sneakily trailing downwards to wrap around yours.

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

the reason he proposed wasn't something exceptional, he thought.

it was on a random night, where the both of you were sitting in a comfortable darkness in the living room. his eyes trailed to your adorably scrunched up face as you tried to figure out how to share the screen of your phone to the tv so you could watch the show you had picked for movie night.

"this is stupid," you muttered under your breath "why does this site ask for so much…."

then you reached out for him, tapping on his shoulder and begrudgingly asking for his help. he recalled how badly he had wanted to release such a snarky remark, but held it back in the form of a nasty smirk. he didn't want to ruin movie night before it even started.

you had looped your arm around his without so much as a warning, as he messed with the buttons on your phone so he could get it connected. finally, he succeeded, bristling proudly as he set your phone down the table and turned his attention to the sappy romance movie you picked.

safe to say, he quickly got bored of it. so instead, he trailed his eyes downwards to you.

you, who was oh so engrossed in the movie, didn't even notice the intense gaze he inflicted on you. his gaze flickered to the lack of space between them, noticing the way your arms had interlocked with one another.

"wait...when did she..?"

he wasn't one to be unaware of what was touching his skin. he was an alert man, any single piece of physical contact never flew past his head. 'to hurt or be hurt,' he's learned at least that much from his scumbag of a father.

then it dawned on him.

he didn't notice because he didn't have the sinking feeling of nausea that always made itself known whenever someone touched him. your innocent caresses no longer triggered his fight-or-flight.

Instead, he felt...normal? Normal as in the way a whipped lover would feel when his partner flustered him. he felt his heart racing, but not from anxiety. it was from embarassment that a simple touch from the person he loved had him this riled up. He felt.....

...comfortable.

At that moment, kaiser made up his mind. he was going to put a pretty little ring on your finger, something that highlighted how precious you were to him (perhaps a blue stone...yes, he'd love to see his favorite color on you every single day), and marry you for good.

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

he would never tell you that.

he didn't realize how badly he spaced out when you snapped your fingers in front of him.

"yo, kaiser. cat got your tongue?"

he clicked said tongue with irritation at your casual tone, wrapping his arms around your waist as he buried his nose between the crook of your neck.

"don't call me that. you know that's going to be your last name too, right?"

"please quit trying to change the subject, love. "

"fine, but only because you asked so nicely, schatzi." he murmured softly against your skin as he began recounting about some random date you had at the beach; blabbing about how the sun hit your hair perfectly, he got jealous of all the other couples proposing, its about time anyway, the view was pretty and so were you, all that cheesy stuff. he felt slightly guilty for not telling the truth, but he'd like to keep his sweet little revelation all to himself.

Besides, a little white lie never hurt sometimes.

"oh, my heart hurts so good . I love you, babe, so bad"

a/n: aaaaaaa first fic ?! thank uu so so much for reading! honestly, don't think so much of this lol, i wrote it at 3am while i was 'studying for finals.' i hope someone noticed in the middle of the fic but this was heavily based on brooklyn99 when peraltiago got engaged AHHH also i feel the title white lie was so fitting because....white = marriage usually...heh...get it...

[tomoleary]

Al Jaffee - Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

My snarky sense of humor started here.

[the-artist-grimm]

one thing im very complexed about is what were baal and ayms rection to narinder after getting resurected. surely they would feel a lot of anger towards him because of what he did.

When Aym and Baal are revived they’re more concerned for Narinder than anything else. Like how can their master, their father go from agonizing for MONTHS over ways to spare the lamb, to in the span of a single week telling them he’s found a way but not elaborating, looking completely heartbroken the next few days after, then when the day of reckoning finally comes telling the lamb in this muted, emotionless tone to sacrifice themselves out of the blue? It didn’t make sense. 

While Aym and Baal are 11 year old kids but they’re not stupid-they know this isn’t how their father usually acts, and something’s wrong. It's why they intentionally get hurt (and accidentally) die fighting Anthea, they're trying to snap him out of it since they didn't know what else to do since he didn't want to talk.

From there it takes 4 months to revive the twins-during that time their souls are trapped inside the gateway by the remains of Narinder's metaphysical chain. Not quite awake, but not quite asleep either-only able to tell they were alone until the voices of their parents wake them up before being yanked into the mortal realm. They’re scared, they’re shaken, they put brave faces on while dying yeah but they can feel the phantom of blade and mana caught in their flesh all over again, but their twin is beside them, and before they know it their Baba has them in their embrace wailing, yet their father is nowhere to be seen. 

Cue them being seemingly ok-ish (read: in shock) while being fussed over by Anthea for the rest of the day (given warm meals, constant hugs and kisses to the head, warm bubbly baths then a long brushing, soft nightgowns that smell like lanolin, all while their comfort kitten plushies they'd given the lamb a day prior to the betrayal in preparation for the 'move' have been returned to their arms), and while they keep asking what happened, the Lamb doesn’t know how to answer them anymore. A month before they would've said Narinder betrayed them all, but they're no longer sure anymore.

(Narinder betrayed them. He betrayed them, but then why did he help them with the resurrection? Why did he stabilize them as they struggled to break the chain, why did he lose sleep the whole week leading up just to help? Following their every word, their every order perfectly, never getting upset when they got snappy?  Why did he the leave the chapel without greeting the boys he mourned over. Why hasn't he tried to take back the crown since his arrival? Why isn’t he fighting them, angry, bitter, anything? Why is he making it so hard to hate and ignore him?)

Anthea eventually has to take the twins over to Narinder later that night since the nightmares are setting in now that the shock's worn off and they both wake up crying for him (they can’t remember the 4 months but that isolation left both with intense separation anxiety from both each other and their parents, and not having seen Narinder was really messing with them), and while that first reunion is them just launching themselves at him to cling to his nightshirt crying, followed by them then refusing to let Anthea leave either and thus both parents are stuck trying to get the boys to fall asleep in Narinder’s room, come morning they’ve calmed down enough that Anthea can leave to do cult things and they can question their father.

They just want to know what happened, and is he ok-he scared them by acting so strange and they're worried. Which kinda breaks Narinder a little because he left the chapel expecting that they hated him. That they wouldn’t want to see him since he betrayed Anthea, is the reason they died, and that their Baba deserved them more than him but here they are worried for him, and it’s the first time in months someone’s said they’re worried about him and he actually believes it. So he tells them everything.

He heard something he wasn't meant to hear, took it out of context, and in his fear over being betrayed again made a mistake. A mistake he thinks he can NEVER fix, and was a mistake he thinks he should NEVER be forgiven for. 

(He didn't trust them. Why didn't he trust them? The Lamb was his friend why would they ever betray him he's terrible Shamura was right to 'hate' him why can't everyone just abandon him already he doesn't understand-)

He thinks that’ll do it, but rather than the twins getting mad, it just clears up what they had already assumed-that something went wrong, and their dad thought he had no choice. They're not angry because he made a mistake since why should they? That just means he has to apologize.

It's that childishly innocent idea that all mistakes can be fixed by talking things out, and while it's more complicated than that, it does hold weight. Aym and Baal are the breaking of the cycle of hiding your emotions, hiding your pain, assuming the worst and self-loathing and destroying yourself as a result. The cycle of not talking to the people in your life and just letting things boil over. Narinder may have held back in some ways when raising them by not telling them to call him ‘dad’, but he raised them as he wished he’d been-teaching the twins that it’s ok to be hurt, scared, to make mistakes, and that they can go to him for anything and he won’t get mad. Anthea’s presence reinforced that-that you gotta talk to people when something’s wrong or else they can’t help. 

The boys are very empathetic and emotionally aware, and thus if they can make mistakes and fix things, why can’t the adults? So no they're not mad at Narinder, they just don't understand why he thinks it's not worth trying to make amends.

[iwaasfairy]

congratulations on your 15k milestone fairy!!!! i’m such a fan of every single one of ur fics, I’ve been here ever since u started publishing mirror and indelible and it’s been such an amazing ride!!! ur the best fairy, hope u reach 150k now ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

for the event maybe could u make megumi + stepcest? make it as dark as u wish haha <3~

:<<< I have a very sad kitty image that I wanna put in here but I can’t buT iMMMM Big emOtional yOUre so swEEETTTT

tw (step)cest, jealousy, manipulation

Megumi knows he has you wrapped around his finger. It’s not particularly hard to see in the first place, watching you ‘hmm’ and gawk each time you do as he asks. He doesn’t think that you’re stupid, but you are naive, and just like the lot of them - you didn’t get enough attention from daddy. Ever since Tsumiki moved out, you’ve become even more clingy, sticky and pushy with your affection.

“You know that’s not going to stop me, right?” He asks, and watches how your big eyes flutter up at him like you’re trying to take a shutter the sight and print it into your brain. It takes a few seconds for your pout to appear, and heat to start prickling on the tip of your nose and ears.

“‘M not trying to stop you,” the hands you had wrapped around your tits to protect your modesty drop, as you glance down and step out of your panties too. “It’s cold in here, niichan~”

Megumi clicks his tongue, before putting the toothbrush back into the glass. He can do that later. “Then get into the bath already, shitty sister. I don’t know why you’re twirling around here in the first place.” He can’t help the snappy tone when it comes to you, truly, he does try. But the meaner he is, the softer you become. And how’s a man supposed to ignore your glittering puppy-dog eyes? He truly can’t.

“Are you getting in too?” you patiently ask, sliding into the hot water with slightly wobbly legs, like you’re a baby fawn taking its first steps. Megumi never really felt called to be a protector… but you are something else entirely.

His answer comes before the thought. “Of course I am. Move over.” You do, and he strips down and gets in like he says - but instead of any of this calming his hard-on, he’s only getting harder when your skin slides up against his and you sway the water when you get comfortable against his chest, dropping your head back onto his shoulder. “Gotta clean you up. Move your arms.” And his hands follow, kneading the soft skin of your tits with slightly rough touches.

“Nii nii?” He responds with only a hum, and runs his hands down your body a few times to slide your legs apart so he can fit a hand in between and trail his fingers over your pussy, putting more pressure on your covered clit until you start to melt against him a little. After a few soft gasps, you turn your face to hide against his throat. “Did you use to take baths with Tsumiki neechan too?” Your voice is too soft to make out any true undertone, but he still feels a slight smile tug at his mouth corners.

“Hah?” Of course he didn’t. While he appreciates both your older sister, he’s pretty sure she would have killed him if he had tried. She might still kill him if she finds out what dirty thoughts he’s put into your head now, too. Only you could be doe-eyed and obedient enough to let your big brother trick you into playing with your tits and pussy after hours. He pinches your clit between thumb and pointer until you squeak, and it sends you slipping down and out of his touch with a frown.

“‘Gumi niichan~ That hurts!” Your bottom lip wobbles as you stare at him, and more heat starts collecting on your cheeks until you look all flushed and drowsy and a little bit too distracted.

“That’s what you get for asking stupid questions.” He keeps your eyes for a second, before you finally look away in embarrassment and run a hand over your eyes. But when you try to get up, he pulls you back down into him and sloshing the water around more. “Hey, what- are you jealous?”

“No, ‘m not jealous!” You’re convincing exactly no one. And his grip on your wrist stays even though you try to wrong loose, before you eventually give up and you blink away tears. “God, let go, niichan. I don’t like you.” He takes hold of your head and pulls you closer until you’re nose to nose and he’s unable to keep the slight smile from showing up on his face.

“Gimme one kiss, c’mon.” You give him the saddest, most pitiful peck - before he leans in more and squeezes your face. “A proper kiss.” Those long lashes almost brush his when you look up at him and suck your bottom lip. But be it wanting to be done quicker, or actual want, you go back in and let him capture your mouth with his until he can push his tongue between your lips and force them open. Until you’re relaxing against his hold on you and your tits get pressed to his chest - slumped against the naked body of your own big brother.

After a bit of letting you kiss him back, he taps your cheek. “Get onto your knees, we gotta clean me too. You do it so well with that pretty mouth, right?’

[sparklyskies0]

𝙃𝙚𝙮 𝙅𝙖𝙣𝙚 ౨ৎ c.s

pairings: pregnant!fem!reader x fwb!chris

( in which)

warnings/dislcaimers: sensitive topics‼️ unexpected/unwanted pregnancy, idk what else, etc

9:23 pm.

You quite literally couldn't believe your eyes. You thought you were seeing things. But the pink lines were clear as day, two simple lines that weren’t faded even a little bit to leave the feeling that it could be false. You were pregnant. So fucking pregnant.

The silence lingered in the bathroom, your heart pounded in your chest. Alone in your apartment with a positive test on the counter, and no one to cry to. Eventually after a couple minutes of trying to process it you began to laugh. That was the only reaction you could possibly make out right now.

I mean it’s ridiculous—right? there’s no way you’re pregnant. this is not real. you were so careful. always pestering the person you were sleeping with to wear rubber.

chris hated condoms, but for you he wore them because he knew you wouldn’t fuck him without it. though he would’ve much rather hit it raw and rely on his pull out skills and your birth control. But you began to remember the time when the stupid condom broke… and you told him to keep going. You truly didn’t think anything of it, the universe knew you didn’t want children. You weren’t sure if it was now or never but you knew there was no way something so insane can happen so suddenly. You were wrong.

So now here you are, laughing like an insane person sliding down the bathroom wall. Face in your hands “no fucking way” you laughed hysterically. you almost couldn’t breathe, you felt like the walls were closing in. Complete distraught and shock rippled through you. Surprised had suddenly became an understatement. All the emotions hit you at once when you feel a tear trickle down your cheek. You sniffled, and let the rest fall down. Sobs eventually filling the bathroom. Your heart was beating so fast that your body began to jump slightly with every flutter.

You needed to tell someone, immediately. The first person you can think of was who was responsible, Chris.

You needed to call him, say something. But what is there to say? how do you even approach a situation like this? you two aren't even together, you do things couples do. But are far from it--just friends, who hook up from time to time. There was no way in hell that he was going to react well or even at all. He's so nonchalant and dismissive whenever anything slightly serious comes up. So why on earth is he the person to go to right now?. The answer is pretty clear, much like the pregnancy test right in front of you.

You manage to slow down your heavy breathing and quiet sobs, letting out a conflicted sigh before sitting up from your place on the ground.

The Next Day, 12:43 pm.

"so are you going to say anything??" you break the silence, back against your kitchen island with your arms crossed as you stood in front of a shell-shocked chris who's jaw is in the pits of hell.

You called him over to tell him the news, thinking it was best you told him in person. And not just because you wanted to see the priceless expression on his face. It's been about almost 6 minutes and he has yet to say a word. You're starting to feel a little concerned.

"chris, seriously. anything could help right now" you speak again

He seems to have snapped out of it and opens his mouth to speak. "its mine right?"

As if your eyes couldn't get wider. You wish you could say you cant believe him right now but you totally could, typical chris. failing to comprehend the obvious.

"are you fucking serious right now?!" you say, slightly snappy. wanting to immediately chuck something at his face. He shakes his head, his hand lifting up his hat to run his fingers through his hair. You can see the sudden change in his whole demeanor. Despite the dumb question, he knew what it was. It is definitely his but he was just hoping for another answer.

"yes chris, its yours why else would i tell you.." you say, your voice softing as you step back into distress and shock mode. You cant really get mad at him, not right now at least.

"fuck..." he ran both hands over his face. A huff leaving his mouth. "are you good though? you okay?" he asks. You cant help but melt at his random concern. If he's not taking this well he couldn't imagine the kind of wreck you were last night. You sigh softly, "i honestly don't fucking know.."

"i mean we..we arent even..-yeah i know." you began to go on but he cuts off you off.

"we're not together, yeah...i-are w-are you, k-keeping it?" he asks sort of hesitantly, like he was contemplating whether it was his place.

That question hit you like a freight train.. You hadn't even thought about it, you've been so caught up in the fact that you just found out you were pregnant in the first place less than 24 hours ago. You never thought kids were in the cards for you. You never imagined yourself as being a mom or being nurturing and maternal. You just don't see yourself as the type. Which is why it makes no sense something like this would even happen.

As if that's not bad enough you also happen to be knocked up by chris, the most noncommittal guy you've ever met. who seems to lack the ability to keep himself alive let alone a baby.

"i don't know..." you feel your eyes begin to burn slightly, signaling the tears that are begging to fall as you both find yourselves forcingly looking deeper into the situation at hand. Desperately trying to find an answer to the hardest question of all. You feel like everything is happening so fast and the room is spinning.

The simple thought and thousand others clouding your brain and you can't help but feel dizzy. Like you could faint at any moment. Chris notices immediately, standing up straight, grabbing both sides of your arms. "yo, you good?

"come, sit..sit down" he leads you to the couch. You let out a long breath as he sits close to you. His arm wrapped around your shoulder as he rubs it repeatedly to comfort you. Secretly trying to bury and fight off his own urge to hyperventilate for your sake.

"look at me.." he removes his arm from around you to take your hand in his on top of your lap. "whatever you decide to do...whatever you want, I'm here. no matter what. I'm not leaving you alone, not right now, okay? i got you.." he affirms

You feel yourself calm down at his words, but uncertainty still lingers in the air.

Authors Note

made this randomly

i told yall i love pregnancy storylinessss

also anons keep requesting I promise

i’ve working on it!!!!

xoxo paris