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cyber-corp · 1 year

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A """summary""" of Homestuck: Act 6 Part 1

by someone who's glad they've gone back to basics for a bit

Let's (for a brief, fleeting moment) start again nice and simple.

It is the 11th of November, 2011 and today a young girl named Jane Crocker is excited to play the alpha for a game that comes out today called SBURB. How fun!

Jane here is heiress to Betty Crocker's baked goods empire (as mentioned previously in Nannasprite's story), and there is also set to be a major rebranding initiative happening today as well. She likes baking, detective stories, as well as the occasional jape.

But look out! There's another guy! His name is Jake English, and he's quite fond of action-adventure flicks, guns, and blue alien chicks. Fucking freak he is.

Jake is currently helping/pestering Jade, his ectodaughter/dead grandma who is set to give it to John (Jake's relations with him is yet to be revealed), before realising that it'll need a bit of uranium to be finished. He only can get it through a boy called Dirk Strider, (unfortunately), and his Brobot which just so happens to be the only source of uranium on the island that Jake lives on.

Before he pesters Dirk, Jake gets a message from someone (presumably a troll) named UU. They essentially tell him "hey!!! go for it!! i believe in yoU!!! also this event is extremely important timeline-wise, so dont screw it Up!!!!"

Jake attempts to get to Dirk about uranium, only to get the equivalent of an AI-based answering machine, much to his dismay.

He then heads out of the island's forest (with the dread of the Brobot lingering) and into the open. He witnesses the beautiful fauna on display.

Too beautiful for comfort.

Jake attempts a getaway, before being swarmed by a large swarm of fairy bulls! Whatever shall he do now? But not to worry, because a certain BrotherRobot has come to rescue!

He then immediately gets his ass kicked royally, (complete with Tensei's amazing score) and blacks out. He has a dream about someone who kinda looks like Vriska???? But isn't really??? Maybe it's one of the prophecy people that Doc Scratch was talking about??? Or undead Vriska??? idk man.....

He tells Roxy Lalonde about this, who panics because everyone in the group is attracted to Jake in some way. He is a harem protag, apparently.

Anyway, while Jane has the most relatable moment in all of Homestuck by awkwardly confirming her and Jake's 'friendship', Brobot tears out its own heart, then blows itself up, giving Jake the uranium he needs. He also confesses to Jane that he and Dirk would be a good couple!!!!

The Alpha Gang have proved themselves to be superior to the Beta Gang by being gay.

Jake is last seen in this chapter heading down the frog temple, presumably to finally send that package.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Jane!

So CrockerCorp undergoes its big rebranding, changing its symbol to a fork instead of a spoon, which will have very big implications later on.

After UU pesters her about the nature of the game she will play, she continues to look out the window, to no game yet in her mailbox.

While pestering a ditzy girl named Roxy Lalonde, she just so happens to notice that her mailbox flappy thing is up, meaning the game is finally here! She dons a shitty disguise to confuse her dad (which is the same as John's dad), and, with the help of Dirk's robot bunny Lil Seb creating a massive hole in the wall, she lass scampers out of there.

She opens the mailbox, which then proceeds to fucking explode, knocking her out and sending her to Prospit, where Jack Noir ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵏᶦˡˡˢ ʰᵉʳ ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵃᵐᵐᶦᵗ before she wakes up.

I think at this point I am completely past the point of no return and have no choice but to cosplay as Gamzee with nothing but grey Sharpie. Other than that, Homestuck continues to keep itself fresh and interesting through established lore (probably from a page you don't even remember because you were too distracted by Karkat yelling).

Even more excited to see where this goes!

#jane crocker #jake english #jack noir #homestuck #alpha kids #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #gecko boy #gecko boy reads homestuck #also guy fieri could smash the supreme court no contest

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 2 years

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Comte’s Drama CD: Track One, Prologue

Since I got the Comte drama CD and there’s nobody around to stop me from inflicting that on everyone else, it’s time.

The premise of the entire recording is that MC and Comte spend a day together, so it’s basically Comte non-stop simping for nearly an hour. As you can imagine, I had an excellent time and I hope you will too.

I will say I did enjoy a few of the tracks more than others, only because he’s the most dramatic man alive and I love him. His head is empty and he’s the only one for me!!! More seriously though, there are also a lot of sweet moments that really speak to how vulnerable and real he is with her--and I’m always really drawn to that duality in him. Yes we all mask the true nature of who we are to a degree, but I think there is something to be said for the effort he makes to be honest with her; especially considering how deeply rooted that instinct to conceal is for him.

Without further ado, I will go through each track with little snippets of actual dialogue in the CD. Please note again, I am by no means a professional or a perfect translator; I’m just too obsessed to be stopped.

The rest is under the cut to avoid spoilers, also because it’s long meta/squealing fest:

So the first track is called “Prologue” and as you can imagine it is exactly as it sounds. There really isn’t a whole lot to this one, as he basically recaps all the things we learn in his main story route. I do want to comment mostly on the beginning and the end of it though, since it’s exceedingly cute and makes me want to kiss him.

His spoken lines at the beginning are as follows:

So this is where you were. Were you looking at the moon from the balcony?

…Indeed, it’s true. It’s hard not to be captivated by such a beautiful crescent moon.

Usually it would be time to go to bed, but it’s such a lovely moonlit night. Let’s stay up a little late tonight.

We could have a glass of wine, or play a game? What would you prefer?

...huh? You want me to tell you a story?

Like. There are so many moving parts here, I don’t even know where to begin. The fact that he’s always seeking her presence (this can easily be corroborated by dozens of event stories). The way that he’s also drawn to the moon, the little silence there speaks to his thoughtfulness and musings of his own that are unknown to us. What does it evoke for him? Is he, too, reminded of the night they first met (hoping MC is thinking of the same)? Can you tell the thought alone is killing me?

The fact that he wants to spend that time with her, lingering beside her and unwilling to part. The way he always gives her a choice, always wants to know what she wants too. The audible surprise when he’s like ????? Storytime? And mind you I don’t think it’s because he thinks it’s immature, rather that he wasn’t expecting it. In a life surrounded by people--both purebloods and humans alike--that are entertained by so little, it’s heart-warming to be with someone who looks for something deeper, something closer to the soul. That, in a way, she’s asking for the gifts of his mind and voice, two things entirely unique to him.

I weep.

He goes on to say:

(his laughter SOBS) That’s a very sweet request…not at all, of course I don’t mind.

I am neither a playwright, nor a novelist. I don’t know if I can tell a good story.

I hope I can fulfill my princess’ expectations.

…Hm, what should I talk about?

Well then…what about a man who lives forever?

So many things going on here, and no I will not remove my commentary because it’s essential to recreating the experience for the poor souls who will never hear the majesty of his seiyuu’s acting. Truly Horie-san exists to bring Comte to life and I hope he knows I owe him a blood debt.

ANYWHO so like. The way he’s delighted to indulge her (screaming and crying and throwing up why is he so cute??????). But not only that, the self-conscious bent of how he says “I don’t know if I can tell a good story.” I feel like it’s easy to forget that Comte is very much the type of person who prefers to blend into the background; he doesn’t seem to like or be in the habit of drawing a great deal of attention. He likes MC’s attention but I think that’s not really comparable, he’s very specific about who he shares himself with/seeks attention from.

Also I will say. I’ve never really been the type to like the term of endearment “princess” (he literally says hime in the CD) but. Because it is Comte and his adorable face that I want to squish between my hands, I will allow it. He’s a silly goose and he’s more than enough, I love him sm.

Following that he goes into his life up to that point, and because a lot of it is a bit repetitive I might leave bits and pieces out. I do want to highlight a few lines--mostly because they give insight into his character construction that might not have been as obvious in the main story.

A long time ago, so far away that even memories can grow dim…a man was born into a certain aristocratic family.

The family had a great secret. They weren’t human--they were pureblood vampires.

A person who was born with the promise of eternal life.

A person who had the capacity to pursue every pleasure in this world forever.

…But there are always two sides to everything.

…The endless life was, in other words, a prison made of time.

To have met and parted countless times with his loved ones,

The man’s chest ached with loneliness, overwrought by the emptiness.

He had no choice but to watch the world pass him by in endless hours.

I think there is. Something so haunted and fascinating in the words “But there are always two sides to everything.” Even more so because in his literal main story, he openly says “The brighter the light, the deeper the shadows”; always returning to this idea that all things in life are dual in nature. For all that you see one quality, the opposite exists as well. Interesting too because I feel like it explains a lot of his deep-seated anxieties about waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where love exists, loss exists as well. Where joy exists, so does pain. Where fulfillment is possible, so is emptiness. I think it makes a lot of sense that, when you live in an endless expanse of time, perhaps the scariest aspect of it is the constant fluctuation and change. Life is fun when things are going well, but what happens when the painful parts stretch so long? How do you cope?

Just things that keep me up at night yk.

I also think it’s fascinating the way he speaks about his immortality. In Leonardo, we see him address it as something that is monstrous and unnatural. He feels it is an abomination, something to be rectified or removed, almost. Comte doesn’t seem to share that view entirely. He says “He had no choice but to watch the world pass him by.” The removal of agency here is something that I want to highlight. Leonardo sees immortality and his identity as something that has to be reviled; there is a self-retaliatory nature to it in my view. Since he can’t fight against it, he fights against himself. Comte’s words speak more to dissociative terror; to force disconnection from your own body/mind because the pain of your entrapment or the threat to your life is so great. And tbh it’s brilliantly tied back to his lifestyle.

Comte uses the repercussions of his trauma two-fold. To seek out parties and novelties on one level expertly cloaks him in the mien of someone who is a devil-may-care product of overwhelmingly sustained privilege. But on another, I think it’s reasonable to argue that he seeks these things out with two other motives in mind; protection and grounding. He openly tells MC that his greater motive in attending parties is to seek out information to understand who to support on the world stage. This tells us that he does operate on a political level, if only to ensure the safety of his family--but I suspect it is also his way of moving the tides of fate around him in more benevolent directions. Furthermore, keeping himself engaged in something ensures that he is not left alone with his thoughts for too long and keeps him rooted in the present moment, something he also admits to struggling with. (And is a core feature of more extreme dissociation, the endless struggle to live in the present moment.)

I suppose I’m just incredibly interested in the way Leonardo regards himself with such self-hatred and revulsion, where Comte just seems so…removed. Not that Comte is empty of self-contempt, only that it does not feel quite as charged as Leonardo’s. I guess for me it more evokes the image of a child locking himself in a secret hideaway. Where Leonardo lashes out, Comte is the opposite; he retreats/hides. The only time he chooses to fight is when he’s protecting someone else (screams and cries, pls don’t get me started on his righteous fury I could go on for years, every time I remember Jeanne’s rt I’m 👌🏼 close to sobbing).

I also still don’t know how to reconcile the fact that his room is deadass filled with hourglasses (bruh), yet he says “…The endless life was, in other words, a prison made of time.” Like. Something something is his room considered the prison made of time ????? Because if that’s the case my god I’m throwing them all out. Then again it could be his attempt at controlling that which he fears, which I can respect considering I too delude myself into thinking I can control shit I can’t to face the impossibilities of the universe…

After that, Comte starts to explain the agreement he and Vlad made. Honestly it really is a summary for the most part, but there is a section I find worth discussing:

They wanted to create a person who would not die, and would continue to shine with their unique talents.

Without realizing how arrogant it was, they tried to find meaning in this life lived forever.

But…it didn’t go well.

Until there was a sizable rift between the old friends--and they parted ways.

They both loved humans, and worried about their future…they should have felt the same way.

…regardless, all that was left was a door that could cross time and space freely.

What I find interesting about all this is how Comte processes the conflict that transpired between them. Granted there is always the possibility that he’s not addressing everything he’s feeling (the man is REPRESSED) but there’s something that stands out to me when he says “they should have felt the same way.” I feel like when people have a fight with someone they tend to be pretty preoccupied that the other side was wrong; Vlad certainly is desperate to prove he was in the “right.” Comte doesn’t seem interested in that at all. He seems more confused, as if he simply doesn’t understand who Vlad is anymore. Like he doesn’t recognize the person who once cherished human life as much as he did (which I do have some contention with; I’m really not sure Vlad ever did love humanity the way Comte did. Perhaps Comte had believed it was so because he so deeply wished to have friend to comfort and understand him in his pain). I don’t think it’s that Vlad isn’t capable of caring about humans, more that--following the massacre of his clan at the very least--he has too great an interest in retaliation to be able to interact with them without power abuse happening.

I do say this fully understanding that Vlad probably saw some fked up shit, I’m just saying objectively the man sees humanity in an adversarial lens, an oppositional force. Comte tends to be more neutral/positive; he’s more interested in working to a common goal and identifies more closely with them psychologically speaking.

I also find it interesting he says their goal was “arrogant.” Recently I’ve been thinking about the complexities of arrogance. I think it can be easy to oversimplify it as shallow motives that are only focused on self-aggrandizement, but I think it can develop in even more complex situations--often with the best of intentions. I think Comte is trying to say that, while they wanted to preserve lives that were inspiring and uplifting to others, there is folly in the idea that only a few people can manage that.

People and life in general are multi-faceted things; so many influences and variables act upon them. It is more sustainable to be a single unit of immovable, radical mindfulness and extend that outwards. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people working together to achieve that goal, only that the responsibility for changing the world can’t fall on a handful of shoulders. It requires everyone to care and think more critically about their behavior, with the help of the people around them (ideally). There is arrogance in the belief that they had control over the fate of the world--an arrogance Vlad will not relinquish, one that continues to get him into trouble and lost him his oldest friend.

Aight and because that’s enough of my brainworms, this track ends with:

And the door brought another important encounter…that’s you. :>

Now, you know what I mean, don’t you? That’s right…that’s the story until you and I met each other in our destiny.

But that was only the beginning…now, we move forward together.

Our very sweet, and happy love story.

I just…………like I know I say it over and over again, but the way he just fills me to bursting with uwus. Another important encounter, a life-changing one for him…that a new story is being written, one that they get to write together. That “we move forward together” in a “very sweet, and happy love story.” It’s nearly like a fairy tale but somehow it doesn’t feel contrived or hokey when he says it, it just fills me with warmth. I think I just love that, for all his initial hesitations, he really doesn’t waver when he’s decided on something he wants. And if MC is willing to bet on him, he’s ready to up the ante.

All right well that about sums up track 1, next one to come is track 2! Enjoy these musings until then~

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp meta #ikevamp drama cd #fangdad propaganda #oh yeah and some leonardo meta if you squint #ikevamp leonardo #honestly i'd like to thank cybird for giving me a hundred more reasons to love comte #it's not like i necessarily needed more fuel but by god do i go feral #especially since he gets a bit more monopolizing as the event stories go on #MMMMMM BOY I DIE #god and kazuma horie..........#the way he is just so good at the 'hahahahaha court jester aristocrat' to 'baby girl/panty smashing ho'#the man sends me to the stratosphere i sincerely can't imagine comte with any other voice at this point #when he laughs im just 'i need a moment' **bawls my eyes out**#truly a man who understood his assignment #that being said stay tuned for the other six tracks #ya girl is off to take a nap #being comte's simp is a full time job and i am dedicated

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smash-or-pass-otome · 7 months

Note

Dia from Court of Darkness

Dia Akedia

#dia akedia #court of darkness #smash or pass

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blackhakumen · 2 months

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Mini Fanfic #1220: A Jamboree Court (Super Smash Bros Ultimate X Mother 3)

12:10 p.m. at the Smash Mansion's Living Room........

Kumatora: (Laying the Back of her Head Onto her Boyfriend, Ludwig's, Lap While Playing Video Games on her Switch) Hey, Luddy, whatcha reading up there?

Ludwig: (Reading a Book) The Diary of an Enraged Koopa. A very old folktales of a story, but gets more intriguing once you find a good amount of twists and turns the more you get invested. What game are you playing down there?

Kumatora: Thie first Fatal Fury game. The controls are as stiff as any other old fighting game in that Era, but it's still a pretty fun experience until you've reached-

Terry, the character she's playing, scream is suddenly heard on Kuma's Switch right before the announcer screams out the words "K.O."

Kuma: ('Groans in Annoyance') Geese. (Turns her Switch off on Sleep Mode Before Setting it on the Coffee Table Beside Her)

Ludwig: You're taking a break already?

Kumatora: For now. I've been trying to beat that guy since last night and my ass keeps getting handed to me in a platter with those DUMB counterattacks of his! ('Sigh') It's annoying......

Ludwig: I bet. But try not to give up hope just yet. (Gives Kuma a Reassuring Smile on his Face) I'm sure you'll finally be able to claim your victory in due time.

Kumatora: Oh, trust me, It'll happen. And I will DEFINITELY rub it on his pixeled face the whole way through. (Stretch her Arms and Back Out a Little Bit) But right now, I just wanna sit back, relax, and watch my prince of a boyfriend read his book from down below.

Ludwig: You sure that's you want to do? It could get you bored within seconds.

Kumatora: (Shrugs) Fine by me. I can handle the boredom. (Forms a Seductive Smirk on her Face) So long as I could get a nice glimpse of that good looking face of yours~ (Makes a Small Kissing Sound Towards her Boyfriend)

Ludwig: ('Heh') (Closes his Book and Place it to the Side) Tell you what, as token of your bravery and flattery- (Looks Down and Smirks Back at his Girlfriend) How about I put my reading time on hold and just kiss you instead?~

Kumatora: (Giggles a Bit) Yes please~

The young couple slowly lean their heads over to one another for a kiss until a loud sound of crying and sorrow suddenly rings both their eardrums.

'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAH'

Kumatora: The hell!? (Turns to the Source of the Crying Along with Ludwig)

Ludwig: Father?

Bowser: (Looks Up to See the Young Couple While He's Down on his Knees, Wiping the Tears Away From his Eyes) Oh. ('Sniff') Hey, kids. ('Sniff') Wassup.

Kumatora: Is.....everything okay over there, Mr. K?

Ludwig: (Sighs While Pinching the Bridge of his Nose) Please don't tell us you got rejected by mother for the umpteenth time.........

Bowser: (Glares at Ludwig) No!....Well. I mean, I did, but.....('Ugh')Just take a look at this!!! (Shows Kuma and Ludwig a Flyer He's Holding in his Hand)

Kumatora: (Leans Over to Read the Flyer) Super Mario Party Jamboree 🎉 🎉

Ludwig: Ah so they're planning to host another party later this year?

Bowser: Yeah, and they just banned ME from ever participating!! EVER! (Starts Whimpering) ('Sniff') I'm not even allow to get any slice of cake.......

Kumatora: (Turns Away While Rubbing the Back of her Head Back and Forth) Well, to be fair, you have been terrorizing those parties since the very beginning, so......(Turns Back to Bowser) Wait, haven't you gotten invited to one at some point?

Ludwig: Yes, he has. (Rolls his Eyes) And for SOME idiotic reason, he managed to botched up any chances of ever coming back in the party after.

Bowser: Will cut your old man some slack already!?(Crosses his Arms Together) You sound just as bad as your mother and her stupid plumber-knight boy toy! Besides, my reason for doong it wasn't that stupid at the time.....

Ludwig: (Gives Bowser a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Father, you willingly chose to go back to your old, scheming antics just because you got bored. How else are we supposed to react to that?

Kumatora: Yeah, that was pretty stupid on your part, sir.

Bowser: (Slouches his Arms Down in Pure Sadness) I KNOOW!!! That was practically my golden ticket to finally get invited to every new party set up and I just BURNED it all down to ashes! (Covers his Face While Crying Some More) What the hell is wrong with meeheeheeheeheeheeeee!?~

Ludwig: Sometimes I wonder......

Kumatora: (Gently Slaps Her Boyfriend's Arm While Lightly Pouting at Him) Luddy. (Gives Bowser a Small, Reassuring Smile) You've really been missing that Mario Party life these days, huh?

Bowser: (Wiping More Tears Off his Face) Yeah. I mean.....('Sniff') I know it was never the most normal, safest party out there, but it was still a fun time all around. For the most part. ('Groans') I gotta get back on that invite list damnit!!

Ludwig: Well, if all else fails, you could try and take this to Smash Bros Court.

Kumatora: (Turns Back to Ludwig) You guys have a court sessions here?

Ludwig: Only mock ones. It's mostly use to settle simpler, more trivial disputes like: who stole and ate all the cookies from the cookie jar, who's more worthy of using the remote controller to the living room's TV for the next few days, and so on. Mother Peach and Mario are the judges, so it'll might be harder to convince them otherwise......

Bowser: (Happily Wraps his Arm Around Ludwig's Shoulders) Which is all the more reason why I'm appointing you and your girlfriend as my two lawyers.

Ludwig: (Puts on an Unsure Look) I don't know, father....Don't you already have lawyers of your own? Surely they have the time to fill in.

Bowser: Who? Ted and Phil? Nah, they've already quit a long time ago. (Place his Finger on his Chin) I think one of them already got sued or something?

Kumatora: (Casually Salutes to Bowser) Well, you can already count me in, sir.

Ludwig: (Turns Back to his Girlfriend) Kuma? You sure you want to get involved in this?

Kumatora: (Happily Nodded) Yeah, the whole thing a mock trial, right? It could be fun for the both of us.

Ludwig: Pretty certain you'll have more enjoyment out it than I will....

Kumatora: Come on, give it a chance, babe~

Kumatora/Bowser: PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?~

The princess and king then proceeds to wobble their lips up and down as they present Ludwig two sad puppy dog eyes. There hasn't been a single person brave enough to turn down such a adorably cheap tactic yet, let alone someone as intelligent and mature as the oldest of the Koopaling Family.

Ludwig: ('Sighs in Defeat') Okay, fine. I'll represent as another lawyer.

Bowser: (Happily Hugs His Son on One Side) Thanks, son!~

Kumatora: (Happily Hugs her Boyfriend om the Other Side) We promise you won't regret it, babe!~

Ludwig then receives kisses on both sides of his cheeks from both his love ones.

Ludwig: (Rolls his Eyes a Bit While Blushing a Bit) Yes, yes, I'll take your word for it or what have you....(Turns to Bowser With a Raised Eyebrow) I sure hope you're ready to take this case more seriously, father.

Bowser: ('Heh') Please. Your old man's the most serious man alive! I got this.

Few Minutes Later at the Smash Bros Courtroom.......

Bowser: (Drops Down on his Knee, Begging and Crying his Eyes Out in Front of the Judges and Everyone Else Present in the Courtroom) Please, Please PLEAHEESEE get me back on the party list! I promise with all my heart, soul, and MIGHT that I'll be on my best behavior, from start to finish!

Mario: (Raises an Eyebrow While Sitting Next to Peach on the Conjoint Judges Desk) Really? Give us one good reason why we should.

Peach: (Glares at Bowser) And it better not be because you're bore!

Bowser: That's definitely not the reason at all, i swear! The second to last party you invited me to was most fun I've ever had in long time! I can't let it all go to waste now!!

Ludwig: (Walks Over to Bowser's Side While Wearing a Laywer Suit with his Hair Tied Up in the Back) It's true. The day you invited our client to the party for the very first time in years has been one of if not the most happiest days of his abnormal life. His very own words, not ours.

Kumatora: (Walks Over to the Other Side While Wearing a Light Blue Colored Suit of her Own) His actions so far today only shows how deeply regretful and apologetic he truly feels for returning old, more devious habits in the party after.

Bowser: IT'S KILLING ME INSIDEE!!

Kumatora: (Gently Pats the Top of Bowser's Shoulder) It is killing the poor man slowly inside, folks. Have mercy.

Ludwig: (Shows the Judges Kamek, Sitting in the Spectator Chairs, Happily Waving Hello to Him and Bowser) Our client's father/my grandfather is more than willing to return his role as the host of the Unlucky Spaces in his place. And we can assure you all that he will do anything you request him to do going forward, so long as it's legal.

Mario/Peach: (Slowly Raises Eyebrows at the Trio) Anything?

Bowser: Well, I wouldn't really go that far-(Suddenly Felt Ludwig Kicking him in the Thigh Before Ultimately Giving In) ('Agh') Okay, okay, fine! I promise. I'll do anything you asked, no charge necessary! Starting with the chores! (Grimaces at the Thought) Just.....please don't make wear that dumb maid outfit again......

Bayonetta: (In the Spectator Seats) Awww but you absolutely wonderful in that gown, darling!~

Bowser: (Comically Glares at Bayonetta in Particular) I look like someone's great grandma!!

Palutena: (In the Spectator Seats with Bayonetta) Better than looking like a lazy slob!~

Bowser: DON'T EVEN START OVER THERE, WOMAN!

Peach: (Sees Bowser Now Arguing With the Goddess and Witch From the Back) I dunno, dear.(Turns to Matio) You really think he'll go through anything we ask him to?

Mario: (Turns to Peach) It's possible. He has surprised us a good amount of times in the past. (Grimaces at the Thought of Bowser's Countless Antics in the Past) Besides, I REALLY don't wanna go back to dealing with his events anymore. Just thinking about give me nightmares.....

Peach: Yeah, I-(Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widened While Gasping at Mario) You had nightmares!? When!?

Mario: (Nervously Rubs the Back of his Head) Uhh.....Just recently.....Albeit a week or so. (Quickly Puts his Hands Out in Front of Him in Defense) B-But I swear, it wasn't that big of deal! And it's definitely not anything for you to worry about eithe-

Peach: Too late!~ (Pulls Mario into a Tight, Loving Hug) You got me worried sick right now!~

Mario: (Sighs in Defeat as He Lays the Side of his Head onto his Princess' Chest) I know. I promise I'll tell you more about it after this trial is over.

Peach: (Starts Pouting a Bit) ('Hmph') You better. Or I'm gonna keep smothering you and kiss you all over your dumb, cute face!~ (Starts Kissing Mario's Cheek)

Mario: (Chuckles Ticklishly by Peach's Kisses) You're going to do that no matter what I do regardless!~ (Smirks a Bit) And I won't mind that one bit~

Peach: I know you won't. It's the only that makes you feel better. (Smirks Back at her Teddy Bear) And I am more than happy to provide~ (Gives Mario One Last Kiss on the Lips) Now, come. Let's get this put whole thing to rest already.

Mario: (Simply Nodded in Agreement) Let's. (Picks the Gravel Up From the Desk Before Beating it Down On the Sound Block)

'BANG' 'BANG' 'BANG'

Mario: Order! Order in the court!

Mario looks around to see Bowser, who is now being hold back by both Ludwig and Kumatora, still arguing with the witch and goddess and everyone else in the room talking among themselves, completely unaware of the attention he tried to give him.

Mario: Uhh. Guys?-

Peach: QUIIIIEEEEEEEEEET!

The loud, booming voice of an angry princess was more than enough to stop everyone from what they were doing, shut 'em up, and give her and Mario their much needed attention.

Mario: (A Bit Startled by his Princess' Scream) Mama Mi- ('Clears Throat') (Smiles a Bit Sheepishly at Peach) T-Thank you, dear.

Peach: (Gives Mario the Sweetest Smile She Can Muster)

Mario: (Turns Back to Everyone) Now, after giving it a lot of consideration, Peach and I decided to give you another shot.

Bowser: Ah come on! I JUST- Wait. You serious? (Eyes Starts Widen at the Consideration in Question) I-I'm not banned anymore?

Mario: (Happily Nodded) Yep. You're back on the invite list.

Bowser: I'm back on the list. I'm back on the-(Starts Smiling Brightly) Kids, we did it! I'm back on this list!! (Pumps his Fists Up on the Air) WO-

Peach: HAAANG ON JUST A SECOND, MISTER!

Bowser immediately stops cheering in rejoice, right on cue.

Bowser: Y-Yes?

Peach: Before you start going around celebrating, we have a few conditions for you we need to discuss.

Mario: Starting with the chores you promised to do.

Peach: No maid dress needed.

Bowser: (Pumps his Fists and Elbows Up and Down) Yes! (Turns Back to Bayonetta and Palutena with a Snarky Smirk) Suck it!

Bayonetta snaps her finger in disappointment while Palutena sighs and rolls her eyes in annoyance..

Bowser: (Turns Back to Judges With a Huge Smile on his Facs) I'll have those chores done right before know it.

Peach: (Smiles Back) That's great!~ And we'll have Bayo and Paulie monitoring you the whole way through.

Bowser: (Chuckles Lightly) Yeah, I- (Eyes Widened Up Once Again) Wait, what?

Bayonetta: (Starts Smirking at Bowser Along with her Goddess Next to Her) You heard the lady judge, dear~ We'll keep watch of you fulfilling your chore-ly duties and make VERY good sure you have everything nice and spotless.

Palutena: (Starts Snapping her Finger Around to Every Word That Comes Out Of her Mouth) ('Snap') Suck. ('Snap') On. ('Snap') That.

The couple starts a small, smug filled high five woth one another, pissing Bowser off effortlessly.

Bowser: ('Growls') Motherfu- (Balled and Squeezes his Fist Up Tight Before Slowly Turning his Growl into Deep Breath) Alright, fine. I'll accept these terms.

Peach: Good. Now, second, you have to swear in this courtroom that you won't do anything scheming behind the scenes.

Mario: if we catch or any one of your crew doing anything diabolical, you're off the list for good, got it?

Bowser: (Place One Hand on the Book Hat Kid is Holding Up For Him While Holding Up Another Right Beside Him his Face) I, Bowser S. Koopa, solemnly swear not to cause any trouble from in and out the scenes amd behave myself like the adult I am.

Ludwig: (Gives Bowser a Proud Smile) Very mature of you, father.

Mario: (Nodded in Approval) Good, good. Very good indeed. Now, for the final condition.....

Bowser: (Puts on a More Confident Grin on his Face) Lay it on me, judge. I'll definitely get that one in the bag too!

Mario: I sure hope, cause the last and final thing you have to do is not to hit on Peach for at least three months.

Bowser: You can count on- (Eyes Widens Up Yet Again) I beg your pardon?

Peach: You heard my man! You need to stop hitting on me for three whole months, right up until the day the Jamboree Party starts. (Raises an Eyebrow at Bowser) Surely you can handle that just fine, right?

Ludwig: (Simply Nodded) No need to worry, your honor. We are more than certain that our client is up for the task.

Bowser is at a lost for thought before Ludwig kick in the chins again immediately taking him back to reality.

Bowser: Ah! Uh- Huh? What?

Kumatora: (Raises an Eyebrow at Bowser) Mr. B, do you have what it takes to make it through three months without trying to hit on the princess?

Bowser: ('Scoffs') Y-Yeah! (Crosses his Arms Together While Huffing and Puffing) Of course I can!......But...uh....

Ludwig: (Sighs While Pinching the Bridge of his Nose) Oh my God, what now?

Bowser: Hey, n-not that I'm complaining or thing, but......Does it HAVE to be three months? (Slowly Shrugs in an Awkward Fashion) Couldn't it last for two or.....one in a half months instea-

Crowd: ('Groans Loudly')

Kumatora: (Glares at Bowser) Dude!

Ludwig: Dear lord...............

Kamek: ('Sigh') That child of mine.........

Palutena: He's doomed......

Hat Kid: (Shakes her Head at Bowser With a Disapproving Look on her Face) Mm-mm.

Bowser: What? I was just wondering is all!....If it's a teensy bit possi-

Peach: (Angrily Slams her Palms on the Desk) ('SLAM') NO! We are NOT shortening this up for you, Bowser! You have only three months and that's absolutely, positively FINAL!

Mario: Anything else you want to dare add?

Bowser: (Shaking in his Knees, Scared Shitless) .....No.

Ludwig,: ('Sigh') Can't believe I'm doing this, but I will make sure my father....client or what have you, make it through that task till the third month rolls by.

Peach: (Frowns a Bit at Ludwig) That's very sweet of you, Luddy, but you don't have to help fight your father's battles for him.

Ludwig: I know, but I can tell that he adores and misses going to one of your annual parties. (Shrugs) It's a decent enough reason for me to make sure he succeeds. And also because I love him.

Crowd: Awwwww~

Bowser: (Heart Begins to Melt as He Pulls Ludwig into a Loving Hug) I love you too, son~ Thank you~

Ludwig: ('Sigh') Yes, yes. It's no problem at all. Just don't screw this up.

Bowser: Have more faith in me than that, kid. Your old man got this!

Ludwig: We'll see.

Kumatora: I'll help you out too, Mr. K!

Bowser: (Turns to Kuma With a Genuine Surprise Look om his Face) You will?

Ludwig: Kuma, are you sure?

Kumatora: (Happily Nodded) Yeah, man. (Hugs her Boyfriend) No way I'm gonna let my sweetheart of a boyfriend do this alone. (Turns Back to Bowser) We'll make sure you won't botch this one up, sir. (Slowly Starts to Crack Both of her Knuckles One by One While Giving Bowser The Most Intimidating Looking Smile She Could Muster) By any means.....('Crack') Necessary.

Bowser: ('Gulp') (Turns Back to Ludwig, Whispering to Him in Even More Fear) Your girlfriend is terrifying......

Ludwig: She is a highly trained PsI-User. Fear comes to the territory in some areas. She fought an actual tiger once growing up.

Bowser: With her or bare hands?

Ludwig: Yes.

Biwser: Oh.....(Takes a Very Deep Breath) Well, crippling fear aside.....(Gently Pats The Top of Ludwig's Shoulder) She's a real keeper, son.

Ludwig: (Forms a Proud Smirk on his Face) Indeed she is.

Peach: Alright, pardon my rudeness, is there anything else we need to discuss here?

Everyone in the Spectator's seat whispers among themselves for a few seconds before turning back to judges and one of them screams out.....

Palutena: Nope! We're good!

Peach: (Smiles Brightly) Good! I have a teddy bear sitting next to me right now, that needs to be loved and taken care of by yours truly~

Crowd: ('Chuckles Lightly')

Mario: (Pouts at Peach While Making Cute Angry Sounding Noises)

Peach: (Turns to Mario) Oh don't gimme that look! Everyone knows I call you that at this point. No use in hiding. Anyways, Case Dismissed!! (Picks the Gravel Up From the Desk Before Beating it Down On the Sound Block)

'Bang'

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