#Sister Nicci
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itachi86 · 7 months ago
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i love nicci's new outfit too
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wellnesscard · 1 year ago
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i hate vapes and i hate our convenience culture and i hate the sanitizing of the public by removing all smoking zones
top ten posts i make when im niccy sicky and smoking a vape when i wanna cig
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feralkwe · 11 months ago
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whenever you're ready: what the FUCK did Terry Goodkind do to you 😭😭
*cracks knuckles*
hoo boy. are you ready? because the things i am about to say are objective fact and not up for dispute. some of them are mean, but rest assured i mean every word.
terry goodkind created a sweeping and gorgeous world full of magic, ruled by incredible, complex, powerful women. some of the women remain to this day some of my favorite characters in all of fiction. the confessors could compel the truth with a power based in utter love. the mord-sith, could turn pain into power, making them fierce warriors (first antagonists, later allies). sisters of the light, powerful sorceresses who train young wizards and protect sacred prophecies, and their evil counterparts, sisters of the dark. it's just layered with so many amazing women. good. evil. everything in between.
and then he shits all over them.
he brutalizes them with all sorts of sexual abuse. the second book features an evil wizard who uses nipple magic to defile and control women who he deems impure. it's implied, if not outright stated, that the mord-sith are all sexually abused. in book three, kahlan amnell, the mother confessor, is forced to marry and sleep with a man who is not richard, and then richard spends forever punishing her for it, even though it was against her will. he kills one of the only two lesbians in the series, which was my first "bury your gays" experience. richard has a sister who is "pristinely ungifted" (immune to all magic, which i ate up with a fucking spoon as a concept) and she, too, was manipulated and brutalized to further richard's narrative. nicci becomes the most powerful sorceress in the entire world, but spends most of the story being abused, sexually and physically, and the rest in unrequited love with richard in the most egregiously shitty love triangle ever. the last two books are just brutalization porn, detailing every horrific way kahlan is beaten and tortured. every single powerful woman is brought violently down, often through rape. always through violence.
and as if this wasn't bad enough, the entire series is a libertarian allegory. it's not subtle. it's filled with self-aggrandizing conservative-lite morals entrenched in purity bullshit. goodkind was a huge fan of ayn rand, and his penchant for writing richard giving three page monologues that could have all been summed up as "hey idiots, i am right and you are wrong" demonstrate that with astonishing deftness. magic becomes some metaphor for everything that is wrong with the world and society in the clumsiest way possible, until the world must literally be split in two in order to create a libertarian non-magical utopia.
if that wasn't enough, he was so insufferable about everything. he created a rich and detailed fantasy world then constant bemoaned being called a fantasy author. he felt it was beneath him and his talents. he remained pretentious about speculative fiction while profiting from it.
oh, he also famously threw a massive tantrum about one of his later book covers, insulting the cover artist openly and publicly. if you know anything about publishing, you know that authors getting any input over their cover is a huge privilege. so he was a massive asshole, too.
never in my life have i had such a complex relationship with a book series. it has so many spectacular things going for it, but goodkind couldn't step off his own dick. he took himself way too seriously, overused lazy tropes (richard was the most powerful wizard ever but only ever used his powers at the most convenient moment when only a deus ex could save his hole-ridden plot), and can't write a sympathetic protagonist to save his life. idk how you write such amazing women while obviously having disdain for them. some kind of asshole magic, i guess.
anyway, this just scratches the surface. any single thing here would be annoying on its own, and combined it is just exhausting. idk how i suffered through the whole series apart from my commitment to these characters i loved despite his every effort to make the rest of the story unbearable. my one life's regret is that he died never knowing what a hack i think he was. he probably wouldn't have cared because obviously i am inferior to him in every way, but i lament he will never know.
anyway, fuck him.
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tauforged · 7 months ago
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my sister is as close to no-contact as possible with our parents as she can get but she stays in touch with me and it makes everything so fucking complicated because mom especially is CONSTANTLY poking and prodding me to act as a middleman between the two of them when nicci is ignoring her texts and calls and i cannot get it through her skull that i have no control over what my sister chooses to do and have no interest in taking part in coercing her into staying in contact when she’s got every reason to not want to . like wholly incapable of understanding this
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deadandwalking · 13 days ago
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venting here because i can vent on main if i want
i’m so fucking scared.
something that has persisted through my life is my attachment to older men - usually someone close to me or an authoritarian figure.
it was my father, then my groomer, then my ex, then Manasses.
now Niccoló.
my father tried, bless him, but he lost his childhood to my mother. he was a father at 17, then was abused the entire way through 14 years of fatherhood. now he’s childish and uncertain. he does not want to be a father, and i don’t think i’ll ever see him as one.
Jay, the groomer. started as my “big brother”, then was my boyfriend. two years, from 10 to 12 years old i was harassed nightly. pictures, videos, calls, i learnt that love was shown with silence, obedience, waiting to be used then discarded. he murdered the child that i was.
my ex. my D. he was, something. i loved him, truly, and i still do. he taught me love was shown through obsession and devotion. he was good to me, in his own way, but i had to be at his service or i’d be plagued with guilt. i could not have friends, nor interests or hobbies, i was not permitted a life outside of him.
Manasses is my headmate. at the time, he was a friend. a helper, a confidant, a father. he cared for me, listened to and looked out for me. he loved me. but things got worse, i got worse. thoughts, visions, everything. he was charged again. my ex triggered him, and he took it out on me. a front together, my mind clouded. i felt everything. he did it a second time, more recent. apparently i deserved it because of my attachment to Niccoló. it was “too early”, i had to fall back to Manasses.
and now, Niccoló. my Niccy. my brother, my father, my best friend.
we haven’t known eachother a particularly long time, but the time we have is special. he calls me Sorellina, that means little sister. i think it’s sweet, it makes me smile. he’s smart, he always makes me feel better. he comforts me well and is still so logical with everything, he tells me how it has to be, no matter how bad it may sting. i appreciate that.
i’m scared it will go wrong.
i’m scared i’m too clingy, too needy, too dependent. i’m scared i take too much, don’t give enough. i’ve never been great at filtering when it comes to obsession. i fear he’ll find me annoying.
i’m scared the obsession will be off-putting. he’ll think i’m insane, or mistake it for romance. everyone mistakes it for romance. i don’t want that to happen. he’s my brother. my brother. my big brother.
i fear he’ll choose his girl over me. Stephen said otherwise, but the fear plagues me. what if he does? what if me and her argue, he’d take her side. he’ll wake up and think of her, want to see her. it’ll be all her. i’ll mean nothing.
i’m expecting to grow apart anyway.
i’m never going to have my big brother.
it failed with Jay, and D, now Niccy. why do i try?
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michaelsheenpt · 2 years ago
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The first trailer for new BBC One drama Best Interests has been released.
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Bad Sister’s Sharon Horgan and Good Omen’s Michael Sheen star as a married couple going through an emotional legal battle.
The trailer shows Nicci (Horgan) and Andrew (Sheen) finding out that the condition of their daughter Marnie, who suffers with a rare neuro-muscular disorder, is rapidly declining.
When doctors tell the couple it is in Marnie’s best interests to cease all treatments, Nicci and Andrew enter a legal battle to go against the doctor’s wishes and fight for their daughter’s life.
Joining Horgan and Sheen are Niamh Moriarty (Jack Thorne’s A Christmas Carol) and Alison Oliver (Conversation with Friends) as their daughters Marnie and Katie.
The ensemble cast includes Noma Dumezweni (The Undoing), Chizzy Akudolu (Sorry, I Didn’t Know), Des McAleer (Hope Street), Mat Fraser (His Dark Materials), Gary Beadle (Grantchester), Jack Morris (Strike), Pippa Haywood (Bodyguard), Shane Zaza (Happy Valley), Lucian Msamati (Gangs of London), and Lisa McGrillis (Mum).
Two-time RTS Award winner Lenny Rush (Am I Being Unreasonable?) announced via his Instagram that he will also appear in a small role in the series.
Jack Thorne says: "As a parent of a three-year-old I've looked at the cases in the media about 'best interests' with some fascination and a little dread, when the worst happens, how do you keep your head when everything around you feels wrong? We are going to try and tell a nuanced story that talks about this issue from all sides.”
Best Interests premieres on BBC One and iPlayer on Monday 12 June.
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nightsidewrestling · 11 months ago
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D.U.D.E Bios: Hortensia Marino
Urbano's Wife Hortensia Marino (2020)
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The wife of Urbano, sister-in-law of Bienvenida and daughter-in-law of Yago and Florencia, Hortensia. She works as a bartender and pole dancer, as well as a part-time wrestler.
"I get more bruises than my husband does at work."
Name
Full Legal Name: Hortensia Zoraida Marino (Née Lozano)
First Name: Hortensia
Meaning: Feminine form of the Roman family name 'Hortensius', possibly derived from Latin 'Hortus' meaning 'Garden'.
Pronunciation: or-TEHN-sya
Origin: Ancient Roman, Spanish
Middle Name: Zoraida
Meaning: Perhaps means 'Enchanting' or 'Dawn' in Arabic.
Pronunciation: so-RIE-dha
Origin: Spanish
Surname: Marino (Née Lozano)
Meaning: Derived from the given name 'Marino' which itself is the Italian and Spanish form of 'Marinus', 'Marinus' comes from the Latin word 'Marinus' meaning 'Of the sea'. (Lozano: Means 'Healthy, Exuberant, Lively' in Spanish.)
Pronunciation: ma-REE-no (lo-SA-no)
Origin: Spanish (Spanish)
Alias: Miracle
Reason: Work name & Ring Name
Nicknames: Sia, Zora, Raida
Titles: Mrs, Ms
Characteristics
Age: 35
Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns
Race: Human
Nationality: Cuban
Ethnicity: Hispanic/Latino
Birth Date: July 10th 1985
Symbols: None
Sexuality: Bisexual
Religion: Catholic
Native Language: Spanish
Spoken Languages: Spanish, English, Portuguese, Italian
Relationship Status: Married
Astrological Sign: Cancer
Theme Song (Ringtone on Billie's Phone): 'Pony' - Ginuwine
Voice Actor: Anabelle Acosta
Geographical Characteristics
Birthplace: Bayamo, Granma Province, Cuba
Current Location: Bayamo, Granma Province, Cuba
Hometown: Bayamo, Granma Province, Cuba
Appearance
Height: 5'7" / 170
Weight: 150 lbs / 68 kg
Eye Colour: Brown
Hair Colour: Black
Hair Dye: None
Body Hair: N/A
Facial Hair: N/A
Tattoos: (As of Jan 2020) 4
Piercings: Ear Lobes (Both)
Scars: None
Health and Fitness
Allergies: None
Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Social Drinker
Illnesses/Disorders: None
Medications: None
Any Specific Diet: None
Relationships
Allies: N/A
Enemies: N/A
Friends: Wanda Ott, Genesis Winter, Rosaleem O'Sullivan, Oneida Rhydderch, Haf McFarlane, Olwen McDermott, Gertrude Rhydderch, Llinos McConnell
Colleagues: N/A
Rivals: N/A
Closest Confidant: Urbano Marino
Mentor: Hilaria Lozano
Significant Other: Urbano Marino (34, Husband)
Previous Partners: None of Note
Parents: Ramiro Lozano (55, Father), Hilaria Lozano (56, Mother, Née Nieddu)
Parents-In-Law: Yago Marino (57, Father-In-Law), Florencia Marino (58, Mother-In-Law, Née Palomo)
Siblings: Iris Nicci (32, Sister, Née Lozano), Jazmín Lozano (29, Sister), Luna Lozano (26, Sister)
Siblings-In-Law: Sancho Nicci (33, Iris' Husband), Bienvenida Marino (37, Urbano's Sister), Judith Ibarra (31, Urbano's Sister, Née Marino), Xavier Ibarra (32, Judith's Husband), Quirino Marino (28, Urbano's Brother), Natividad Marino (25, Urbano's Sister), Macario Marino (22, Urbano's Brother), Rosaura Marino (19, Urbano's Sister), Isaac Marino (16, Urbano's Brother)
Nieces & Nephews: Emperatriz Romero-Marino (17, Niece), Antonio Huerta-Marino (14, Nephew), Triana Santos-Marino (11, Niece), Casilda Ibarra (11, Niece), Zaira Nicchi (12, Niece)
Children: Lorenzo Marino (14, Son), Paz Marino (11, Daughter)
Children-In-Law: None
Grandkids: None
Great Grandkids: None
Wrestling
Billed From: The Underworld
Trainer: Sabas Marino, Yago Marino, Tercero Marino, Ramiro Marino, Pastor Marino, Olegario Marino, Nicanor Marino, Jair Marino, Heliodoro Marino, Gonzalo Marino, Facundo Marino, C.R.C Wrestling School
Managers: Urbano Marino
Wrestlers Managed: Urbano Marino
Debut: 2005
Debut Match: Miracle VS Oneida Rhydderch. Miracle won via pinfall
Retired: N/A
Retirement Match: N/A
Wrestling Style: Grappler
Stables: Los Marinos (2006-)
Teams: Los Marinos
Regular Moves: Big Boot, Diving Clothesline, Swinging Neckbreaker, Diving Crossbody, Sitout Rear Mat Slam, Electric Chair Drop, Electric Chair Facebuster, Flapjack, Half Nelson Bulldog, Inverted DDT, Missile Dropkick, Spinning Heel Kick, Somersault Senton Plancha, Sharpshooter, Sitout Powerbomb, Crossface, Spinebuster
Finishers: Leg Hook Reverse STO, Spear, Lifting DDT, Standing Arm Triangle
Refers To Fans As: The Watchful Eyes
Extras
Trivia: Nothing of note
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anarchicchaos · 7 months ago
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【 Matilda de Angelis //. cis-female //. she/her 】 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… ALESSIA RICCI into The Hub. You are registered to be TWENTY-SIX and have been given citizenship for TWENTY-SIX YEARS under the Expatriate Act. According to the data compiled, your most notable qualities seem to be CREATIVE & STUBBORN. Please confirm that you are CHAOTIC NEUTRAL. From what we’ve gathered your place of employ is currently for the COWBOY as a BOUNTY HUNTER/SOCIALITE . We strongly advise that you provide the correct information pertaining to your background to ensure proper safety precautions: are you a _HOST_ or _HUMAN_? A deeper dive into our archive suggests that you are  NIGHTS ON THE TOWN WITH A DRINK IN HAND, A PRIVILEGED LIFE, EVERYTHING IS NOT HOW IT SEEMS, BITE IS WORSE THAN HER BARK.  ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ᴠᴇʀɪғɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ 100% ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! Please comply to all regulations and laws. It is our hope that you enjoy your stay. 
BASIC INFORMATION:
Name: Alessia Ricci
Nickname: Essia, Nicci (Bounty Hunter Name)
Birthday: 27th of July
Age: Twetny-six
Gender: Female
Place of Birth: Tokoyo, Japan
Places Lived Since: Tokoyo, Sicily
Current Residence: Tokoyo
Nationality: Japanese
Parents: Lorenzo & Isabella Ricci
Number of Siblings: One older sister
Laungages Spoken: Japanese, Italian & English
Five Positive Traits: Creative, Fierce, Confident, Intelligent, & Ambitious
Five Negative Traits: Stubborn, Arrogant, Misunderstood, Possessive, & Blunt
PHYSICAL:
Height: 5'2
Weight: 120lbs
Build: Lean side
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue
RELATIONSHIPS:
Current Relationship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
BIOGRAPHY: Coming Soon
WANTED CONNECTIONS: Coming Soon
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invisibleicewands · 1 year ago
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A mum shouldn’t have to go to her child’s funeral’: Sharon Horgan and Michael Sheen on making moving TV
f Best Interests – a drama about a mother who takes the NHS to court after doctors decide to allow her teenage daughter to die – feels too harrowing to countenance, you’re not alone: even the cast can’t bring themselves to watch it. “It was hard enough doing it on the day,” says Sharon Horgan of playing Nicci, the mother in question. Michael Sheen, who co-stars as her husband Andrew – a man devastated by his daughter’s illness but unwilling to back his wife’s appeal – is also avoiding it. “I’m more nervous than usual,” he admits. “I know it’s going to be a difficult watch.”
That’s an understatement. Best Interests begins with Nicci and Andrew on a train, giddily happy, slightly frisky and, as we soon realise, uncharacteristically carefree. Over the next four hours, we see their relationship falter under the pressure of caring for their younger daughter Marnie (Niamh Moriarty) who has muscular dystrophy, as consultants tell them her condition has progressed beyond all medical intervention – something that leads Nicci to mount a headline-grabbing, life-upending legal challenge. It’s little wonder Horgan had doubts about taking the role in the first place. “I was really nervous about how much this was going to fuck me up,” she says. It ended up being as crushing as she feared. “We spent a lot of time in terrible pain. You have to go to some really awful places to get yourself into that mindset and stay there. Sometimes you come home and go: ‘What kind of a weird job is this?’”
And yet – and this is the caveat that makes the show not simply a gruelling experience, but a life-affirming and thoroughly absorbing one – Best Interests is also very funny. There is droll banter about crisps in waiting rooms, there are silly jokes about knickers and, after the unthinkable finally happens, there is daft familial teasing. “People will be put through the wringer,” says Horgan. “But we want this to feel like a real family, and in real families – even when they are in the worst possible situation – people laugh.” That said, desolation is never far away: at one point, Andrew is reading The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole at Marnie’s bedside when an inadvertently pertinent passage prompts a flood of tears: at moments such as these, the show dances between comedy and tragedy in a remarkable way. Thankfully, it is not quite the slapstick affair it could have been. “I remember doing a very stupid dance at one point, I don’t know if that’s still in?” Sheen asks tentatively. I tell him it’s not ringing any bells. “That probably means it’s not there, so that’s good!”
Instead we have Sheen’s Andrew as a slouchy, goofy beta male, who enjoys 90s indie and the odd spliff, and is an expert teller of comfortingly lame dad jokes (such is the casual majesty of Sheen’s performance, he has already won the best actor award at French TV festival Series Mania). Horgan is equally brilliant as Nicci, a weary but awe-inspiringly on-it woman suffused with the actor’s trademark wincingly honest wit. While Sheen is a garlanded dramatic actor who was well established in theatre before becoming film-star famous in the 00s for his exceptional impersonations (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough, Kenneth Williams), Horgan is still best known for her pioneering TV comedy. From gritty sitcom Pulling to dramedy Catastrophe and recent hit Bad Sisters, she is now a giant of the genre; as a serious actor, however, her career is only just taking off. “If you’re known for comedy, people don’t generally throw a lot of dramas at you,” she says.
In 2021, she was a revelation in pandemic drama Together, written by her Pulling co-creator Dennis Kelly, yet Horgan feels Nicci is her “most dramatically led role” – another reason she’s not keen to watch it back. “I just don’t want to get all hypercritical on myself. I did it – there’s nothing I can do about it now!” Horgan says she has always wanted to do comedy and drama simultaneously, and is happy the genre binaries are melting away. “Back in the day I used to do a lot more sitcom-style shows, and now it blends a lot: a lot of dramas are really funny and a lot of comedies … aren’t,” she says, dissolving into laughter at her damning critique of the current comedy landscape. “What I mean is some of my favourite things, like The Bear, there’s not many laughs in it.”
I speak to Horgan and Sheen separately over Zoom – the former perched on her bed, the latter bearded and avuncular in a tartan shirt, sitting in his office in Margam Park near Port Talbot, where he’s about to direct BBC drama The Way. (So idyllic are his surroundings that he pauses to show me two gambolling baby deer from his window.) They may be miles apart, but the pair are very much on the same page when it comes to Best Interests. Instead of meticulously researching the kind of media circus court cases that inspired the drama (the 2017 case of Charlie Gard being perhaps the most famous example), they opted to come to the action unschooled, as they imagine Nicci and Andrew would have been. And while both were left awed by the parents with disabled children they met – “I just don’t know how I would have the strength in that situation,” says Horgan – they ended up drawing primarily on their own personal experiences.
Sheen found himself recalling his own family history while thinking about the cosmic horror of losing a child. “My grandmother’s son – my uncle – died of cancer while she was still alive. I always remember her saying a mother should not have to go to her child’s funeral. That just shouldn’t happen.” He was also reckoning with anxieties of his own. During the filming of the show, Sheen’s partner Anna Lundberg was pregnant with their second child and the due date was fast approaching. Then the pregnancy turned out to be “not completely straightforward”, Sheen says. “There were some fears about our unborn baby, and if there are any kinds of complications or worries that really weighs on you.” The stress filtered into his performance, especially when it came to the heartbreaking flashback scenes in which a six-month-old Marnie’s bewildered parents receive her diagnosis.
For Horgan, Nicci’s story was incredibly close to home. “My kid had meningitis when she was young,” she says (Horgan has two teenage daughters with her ex-husband, businessman Jeremy Rainbird). “While we thought we might lose her – as I was watching them trying to find a vein and get some antibiotics into her – I remember thinking: ‘I don’t care what happens – like, take off her limbs, whatever you need to do – just keep her alive.’”
In Best Interests, the story of Nicci, Andrew and Marnie (plus elder daughter Katie, played with mild insolence by Conversations With Friends’ Alison Oliver) doesn’t exist in a vacuum. In recent years, writer Jack Thorne – one of the most respected figures in British TV – has dedicated himself to making programmes about people with disabilities, partly because of his own struggles: he suffered from a debilitating long-term illness in his 20s, and was recently diagnosed with autism. In 2021 he made Help, which starred Jodie Comer as a carer looking after a man with early-onset Alzheimer’s (Stephen Graham) in the pandemic, and last year he created Then Barbara Met Alan, a one-off drama about the founders of the Disabled People’s Direct Action Network, a protest group fighting for disabled people’s rights.
According to Sheen and Horgan, Thorne’s advocacy for disabled people permeated the entire shoot. The cast was populated by actors with disabilities: Moriarty, who has a form of cerebral palsy called spastic diplegia, is joined by Lenny Rush, the Bafta-winning breakout star of Am I Being Unreasonable? who has dwarfism, and Mat Fraser, an actor and activist with thalidomide-induced phocomelia. Behind the scenes, things were just as inclusive. “Our set photographer was hearing-impaired, the person shadowing our director was a wheelchair user – there was an enormous amount of diversity,” says Horgan. “It just felt like this is the world we live in and unfortunately TV and film doesn’t usually represent that.” There was an attitude of presumed equality. Sheen remembers coming to do a scene and “in the script there was no mention of a physical disability and then the actor who did it had a physical disability and it was not a thing. That was so refreshing.”
The show wears its politics lightly, though. Even the Christian pressure group Nicci turns to in desperation is portrayed with relative ambivalence – after all, says Sheen, “you don’t want to wink at the audience about how you feel about the characters”. Thorne is too clever a writer for obvious didacticism, and while you might come away feeling conflicted – or even disgusted – by the legal process that has lawyers brutally picking holes in the parents and consultants in court, it’s hard to envisage what could replace it.
What you will be invariably left with, however, is a sense of the existential struggle those with disabled children face in a society unwilling to accommodate them. Sheen remembers Thorne talking about the attitude towards disabled people in the pandemic: “that somehow people with disabilities were slightly more dispensable and anyone dying through Covid who had disabilities, it wasn’t as big a deal as people who didn’t have them.” For Horgan, playing Nicci alerted her to a system that “sees disabled life as less important. Everything she gets for Marnie is a struggle, whether it’s equipment or a wheelchair or education. Her life is battling.”
It’s a sad, outrageous truth, which this excellent drama unflinchingly captures. Yet the show is also keen to emphasise that this is just one element of life with a disabled child. Despite its tragic ending, the real beauty – and, for me, lasting impression – of Best Interests is the way it evokes the overwhelming joy that comes with parenting any child, whatever the difficulties. The worst of times, yes – but also the best.
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dissygif · 2 years ago
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🌈 LGBT+ movies (Here)
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Young Hercules on Gdrive:
Show | Movie | Extra episodes from H:tLJ
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itachi86 · 7 months ago
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i love how nicci uses a legit cauldron to cast that maternity spell
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rmhashauthor · 2 years ago
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The Last Hour of Gann - the book that ruined me
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If you have not read this BEHEMOTH of a novel, I strongly suggest you do. If you want something that will enthrall you, scare you, amuse you, ruin your life and obliterate your soul, I CANNOT in good conscience let you go another week without this beast of a story.
Summary (from Goodreads): "It was her last chance:
Amber Bierce had nothing left except her sister and two tickets on Earth’s first colony-ship. She entered her Sleeper with a five-year contract and the promise of a better life, but awakened in wreckage on an unknown world. For the survivors, there is no rescue, no way home and no hope until they are found by Meoraq—a holy warrior more deadly than any hungering beast on this hostile new world…but whose eyes show a different sort of hunger when he looks at her.
It was his last year of freedom:
Uyane Meoraq is a Sword of Sheul, God’s own instrument of judgment, victor of hundreds of trials, with a conqueror’s rights over all men. Or at least he was until his father’s death. Now, without divine intervention, he will be forced to assume stewardship over House Uyane and lose the life he has always known. At the legendary temple of Xi’Matezh, Meoraq hopes to find the deliverance he seeks, but the humans he encounters on his pilgrimage may prove too great a test even for him…especially the one called Amber, behind whose monstrous appearance burns a woman’s heart unlike any he has ever known."
Guys. Guys. This book ripped me apart. Amber is simultaneously the best and worst sci-fi heroine, her sister is pathetic and terrible, Meoraq is probably the least sexy but the most BADASS MMC EVER and the rest of the cast is every stripe of humanity you can imagine. There's a guy whom I wished from page one would shut up shut up JUST SHUT UP ALREADY and fall in a hole forever. R Lee Smith's characterization is on point and consistent throughout the book.
This is a BRUTAL story from beginning to end, even for someone like me who LOVES reading gnarly survival stories. Not gonna lie, there are several instances of sexual violence - I don't like it, I don't condone it and I won't write about it in any of my work, but in this case it was used to really drive home the brutality of life on Meoraq's world. There are animal attacks and vicious fighting and horrific injuries, but again this is not a happy story. This is a very messy, dangerous world and it takes a lot of grit and no tolerance for squeamishness to survive.
As unpleasant as Amber can be at times, I sincerely liked her as a character. She's unpleasant because she was brought up under pretty bleak circumstances and her life on Earth just didn't get better. And it got even worse once she signed her contract in more ways than just ending up on a planet where almost everything is trying to kill her. The thing about Amber that I really respected was her instant realization of just how fucked she and everyone else is and her first instinct is to start looking for water, food and shelter. She takes initiative while everyone else is sitting around waiting for help.
I appreciated how R Lee Smith took me inside Amber's head and showed me her memories to either confirm or contrast with how angry she is at the way her life has turned out. Her sister is basically the sad polar opposite - none of Amber's grit has rubbed off on her, and as awful as the story ended for her, she kind of deserved it for the choices she made (or refused to make). In the end I just felt sorry for Nicci for having such weak character.
Meoraq is NOT a sexy guy. I love sci-fi romances mainly because I want to see what weird, freaky things people are into (myself included, lol) and I want to see how the author turned something that SHOULD be bizarre into something that makes me think "...you know what? Maybe I COULD..." Not Meoraq. The only thing I found even moderately attractive about him was his incredible knowledge of and experience with living as he had for as long as he had. And he was funny sometimes. But he could be SUCH an ASS. And yet by the end of the book I had developed an IMMENSE respect for the guy - if I'd been in Amber's shoes, I would PRAY that I'd run into someone as competent and self-assured at Meoraq, otherwise I'd be dead within a week.
I am not a religious person. I tend to keep my distance from organized religion because I have seen the damage religious fanaticism can do. That being said, Meoraq's STRICT adherence to his beliefs make a weird kind of sense once you get to the part of the book that explains WHY the faith he follows has essentially taken over the world. I kind of admire the guy for his extensive knowledge of his faith and its teachings, which is to say he understands it more than I think some IRL groups understand their religion's intent. I sincerely appreciate R Lee Smith's deep dive into what life was like for Meoraq as a boy, how his experiences developed him, and how his relationship with his god evolves through the story. The guy has some truly incredible faith and his religious experiences gave me some perspective as to why some people continue to stick with their faith in the face of undeniable evidence to the contrary.
Here's the thing, though - from day one of their meeting I wanted Amber and Meoraq together RIGHT NOW. They both have this "fuck around and find out" vibe that WORKS. From the very beginning there is a sizzle in the air as they work out how to communicate, and while I was annoyed with the other survivors for inferring that the two be bangin', I knew EXACTLY where they were coming from because it was JUST SO DAMNED OBVIOUS. There were many times I had to put this book down and yell at it because, and I quote, "oh my GOD would you two just GET IT OVER WITH??" And when they do, it's not pretty but by the time that happened I understood that it wouldn't be because of the world they now occupy. Again, this is not a happy story. There IS some happiness, though, and it's made all the more precious for being so rare.
I will say that this is a LONG book, and it deals with some HEAVY ideas. Many of which I don't agree with, but I don't regret reading this monster and I sincerely appreciate R Lee Smith's willingness to really push the boundaries of what the average sci-fi romance reader is used to or may find in good taste for the genre. This is a HARD book to get through (~ 1,000 pages long) for many reasons, the subject matter alone will be part of the reason I think most people will either avoid it or put it down. It's really dark and I wouldn't recommend it to someone who isn't ready for some of the nastier scenes (CW for sexual assault on men and women, animal violence, human-on-human violence, alien-on-alien violence, just a lot of violence in general, catastrophic events, and my personal non-favorite: BUGS) but if you're looking for something that will sink its claws into your mind and make you question everything about people, religion and humanity, then The Last Hour of Gann is my #1 pick for "you'll hate it but you'll love every second of it".
I saw another reader on Goodreads describe this as an "odyssey" and I 100% agree - this thing takes a week to read and it feels like a lifetime. Another called it "Epic Science Fiction" and I CANNOT agree more. It's epic, it's monstrous, it's graphic, it's downright horrible at times, but MY GOD I love this book for everything about it from the length to the characters (even the ones I hated) to the intense survival to the hilariously frustrating romance between two of the most stubborn, thickheaded people I have ever had the pleasure of being annoyed with. I stayed up late reading this damned thing TWICE and I'm going to do it again.
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Disclaimer: I am strongly opposed to censorship in general. The world is a rough, difficult, dirty and dangerous place and it's just a fact that awful things happen and awful people exist. I don't condone rape or murder, but the unpleasant truth is that it happens on a daily basis. If that makes me a cynical old bat, then I guess I'm a cynical old bat. Anyway, the point here is if you pick up this book, do practice some self-censorship. You're the one who gets to decide if you like it enough to finish it. I don't know your story therefore I have no authority to determine what you can handle. But I do implore you to give this book a good old-fashioned try because I think it'll open some eyes and maybe give some perspective on the real world we live in. I got a lot out of this story and I think it's a damned shame that it's not more well-known. I believe that as sentient beings we have an obligation to push ourselves with respect to what we know and what we can learn, especially if we have to be made really uncomfortable to do so. I agree with a lot of the things people said about this book on Goodreads but I also disagree with much, but those are just my opinions. There's a reason I own two copies of this book, one physical and one digital, and if that's not a recommendation I don't know what is.
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lordfreg · 2 years ago
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Love You, Brother
note: I HATE MYSELF AHHHHH but i thought of it and eVERYONE HAS TO SUFFER WITH MEEE :D!!!
@hypocriticaltypwriter
TW// major character death, blood, family issues, burnout, and bulling !!
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It wasn’t fair.
Nothing is fair.
Niccolo couldn’t speak for the first few years of his life. Being nonverbal was hard for a little guy like him, he couldn’t say anything at all. He chirped to hid brothers and sister, but only they knew what he was saying, and even then it was hard.
Niccolo was sitting at a small table of the play space in the Resistance’s secret base. Some other Resistance kids walked up and started to grab at the crayons that Niccolo had specifically placed out in rainbow order.
Niccolo looked around confused at the actions of the other children, he stared to whine at them, struggling to explain why this was making him upset.
The other kids stopped and looked at Niccolo who could only grunt at them. Their expressions become more upset and they just started to laugh. Niccolo didn’t understand, what was so funny? Did he do something?
“Haha! This kid can’t even speak!” One of them said, “Speak kid! What? Are you mute or something?”
Niccolo didn’t understand.
Why where they doing this? What did he do to them?
Then, a voice from behind called, “Hey! You leave my brother alone!”
It was Zuccone!
“You guys put those crayons back, he had them in order for a reason!” Zuccone said demandingly.
“What was the reason? Maybe if Mute over here would speak…” One of them said, while the other started to chuckle.
Niccolo felt like crying, and he pretty sure he was. He saw the tear drops hit the floor. 
“You shut up!” Zuccone shouted, “You don’t speak to him that way! He’s way smarter then all of you combined!”
“What’s going on over here?” Karai asked, peering in at the fight.
“They’re making fun of Niccolo!” Zuccone said swiftly, making sure they didn’t get a word in first.
“Really?” Karai said unamused, “You three can go in time out.” She said, grabbing them by the arms and dragging them to the corner, making them drop the crayons, Niccolo and Zuccone making sure to pick them up immediately.
Niccolo chirped a ‘thank you’ to Zuccone as they both orginized the crayons, back into rainbow order.
“You’re welcome, Niccolo!” Zuccone smiled back, “Now, where were we?”
Niccolo chirped fearfully.
“Ah, I’m sure they learned their lesson Niccy.” Zuccone said, handing him the color red, “And, I’ll always be here to protect you, okay?”
“Chrip!” Niccolo smiled widely, letting Zuccone watch him as he drew. 
That was almost 5 and a half years ago, and now Niccolo could speak. He spoke, not often, but enough.
“What would you like to eat, dear?” Tamsin asked, grabbing a small plate.
“Not hungry! Too busy!” Niccolo said, quickly scurrying past the counter with his arms full of art supplies. 
“You’re just like your uncle,” Tam sighed, “No way mister, you have to eat breakfast before you spend all day drawing again.”
Nic stopped dead in his tracked and looked up at his mother, trying to find the correct words, “But... I want to finish it before Dad leaves again...”
Tam smiled a bit, “After breakfast, kiddo.”
Niccolo pouted a bit, setting down his things and walked to the family table with the rest of his brothers, before sitting down and being served pancakes.
They tasted like dirt, but hey! They were food. At least the syrup made them taste like sugar.
“What are you working on, Niccy?” David asked, mouthful of pancake.
“Surprise,” Niccolo said simply, finishing his first pancake in a few bites.
“Whatever it is, i’m sure it looks great!” Zuccone smiled, giving Niccolo a thumbs-up.
“Uh-huh!” Nic nodded eagerly, “Looks great!” He repeated.
After breakfast, Niccolo ran to the play room, wagging his small tail and grabbing his supplies. He ran to the room where a big canvas sat on an easel that was way too tall for Niccolo to reach, already having a rough sketch of something.
Zuccone stuck his head in, peering at his twin, using an empty box to reach is project. Niccolo was vigorously erasing the sketch marks and tracing over them with his thick marker.
Zuccone watched him carefully, having a soft smile at the way that Niccolo’s hand glided over the canvas. Never shaking, even once. Niccolo was so focused and serious about what he was doing. He was seriously just like Uncle Mikey.
Zuccone hadn’t even noticed himself drawing closer to the canvas. Gazing closer at it, Zuccone could see the splotches of red, orange, purple and blue. He could see the green bodies of his uncles, father and siblings.
He was doing a family portrait. 
“Wow, that’s really good!” Zuccone said, making Niccolo jump a bit.
“Ah! You scared me!” Niccolo smiled, “Thank you, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, you’re welcome!” Zuccone joked, “I think Dad’s really gonna love it.”
“You do?” Niccolo asked, his eyebrow hitched slightly, “What if he hates it?”
“Why would he hate it, Nic?” Zuccone asked, leaning to face his poor brother who was getting swamped with self-doubt.
“Because,” Nic frowned, “The portions are off and Uncle Raph’s head looks off.”
“It’s hardly noticeable, if it wasn’t, I would’ve told you.” 
“You’re right,” Nic smiled again, “Looks good!”
Zuccone laughed, “Looks good! Looks good!”
Niccolo kept drawing, letting Zuccone watch him.
The painting as finished months ago, and hung in Niccolo’s room. Once Nic showed everyone, they were all so thankful.
Uncle Leo even started to cry a little bit.
Everyone was so thankful. It made Niccolo feel a type of pride. So, Niccolo made more drawings, he explored different mediums, he even roped David into it! And David was quite good at it too.
Niccolo woke up to the sounds of the blaring alarms and flashing lights.
SECURITY BREACH! CODE RED!
This was bad, really bad! The Krang had found their base!
Niccolo grabbed his sais and jacket, preparing for trouble. He ran out with the rest of his siblings, as they watched CJ and Raphael push back a Kraang bush out of the base.
“We could really use your help..!” CJ said inpatiently.
“Right!” Karai said, waking the Krang out of the doorway, making it scrabble up the stairs.
Niccolo looked around nervously. Where was David? Or Jeremiah? Or Zuccone?
“Karai!” Niccolo called, “Where’s Zuccone?”
CJ pointed up the stairs, where Karai was running up and Niccolo followed her, finding himself in the middle of a battle field.
Everything was happening at once; Leo was slicing, Donnie was protecting Tam until they both fight off the Krang so they could attack, Raph had rushed out behind Niccolo with a rush of wind, smashing down a tendril of a Krang before it could hit CJ.
Zuccone and David were struggling with a Krang, who was trying to bite them. Niccolo took his naginata and sliced the thing in half, making a small signal with his hand.
“Yeah, we’re good.” David said disgruntled, “Aren’t we, Zee?”
“Yeah… Mom! Dad!” Zuccone quickly changed his priorities.
“Don’t worry, son!” Donnie called back, with Tam clinging to him, “We got this!” Donatello legitimately threw Tam and a Krang, Tam cutting it down the middle.
Zuccone and David laughed, Niccolo cringing at the affectionate kissing that pressured after the attack.
Just then, a Krang jumped out, it’s spikes facing toward Niccolo.
SHINK.
….
Niccolo’s breath was the only thing he heard. He stared in horror as he found himself on the ground and covered in blood that wasn’t his. Tears welled in his eyes, and his heart beat was deafening.
Zuccone was standing over him. His side fully impaled with the spike.
It didn’t feel real. Niccolo’s tears blurred his vision slightly, making it hard for him to focus on what was happening.
Zuccone fell on top of Niccolo, making reality snap back to focus as Niccolo rolled his brother over, applying pressure to the wound.
Donnie and Tam rushed over, Leo and Raph joint them in protecting the kids. Another attack had been lunched, but Niccolo could care less. The only thing he cared about was his brother, bleeding out in front of him.
“Zee..? Zee! Zuccone!!” Niccolo panted, “Answer me!! Are you okay?? Please!!”
Zuccone looked slightly, giving his twin a heavy-lidded side eye, letting out a few breaths. Luckily, Zuccone’s half plastron protected him. Mostly.
Zuccone attempted to sit up, wincing in pain, his breath hitching. The slightly lifted shirt reveled a chipped plastron and a rapidly bleeding side.
“Niccy….” Zuccone said, bringing his hand to reach his twins. “It-It doesn’t look like i’ll bounce back this time… If I die…”
“You won’t die, please.” Niccolo begged.
“If I die…” Zuccone said more sternly, “Promise you’l, take care of yourself, okay? You’re worth every…ugh…every word of praise and admiration.”
Zuccone pulled Niccolo close to him, placing their foreheads together. The ultimate sign of affection.
“Love you, brother.”
He went limp, his head falling back in Niccolo’s arms. The world deafen again. Karai and Tam rushing over, with the rest of them following after them. Niccolo couldn’t hear was they were saying. He didn’t care what they were saying.
Raph pulled Niccolo away from Zuccone’s body, Niccolo hissing, biting and yelling at Raph, probably something he would regret but he couldn’t even hear himself right now.
Donnie tried desperately to resuscitate Zuccone, saying something, tears starting to stream down his face. Tam held Karai as they both cried into each other. Leo grew angry and ripped a Krang in half with his bare hands, kicking away its corpse and yelling.
David stood visibly shocked, unable to speak or move.
Raph restrained Niccolo as he tried to get back to Zuccone’s body.
Suddenly, like an EMP, everything came back into focus.
“It’s no use…” Donnie said, helplessly, “He’s-….” Donnie couldn’t even finish his sentence before a hiccup of sobs erupted.
Niccolo couldn’t comprehend it. He couldn’t even imagine it in his worst nightmares. How did this even happen? It was too fast, too traumatic, to remember.
They carried Zuccone’s body off of the battle field, Donatello carrying him with Tam and Karai accompanying them. Leo and Raph helped the rest of the kids calm down from the attack.
Lots of tears, blankets and water bottles were handed out. News was spread and everyone was trying to calm down.
Niccolo felt out of focus. Like he, himself, was blurry. Everything felt numb on his skin and in his head. He couldn’t remember what happened. He didn’t understand what he was doing. He was simply going through the motions.
Then, the reality set it. It felt like a broken rib, on every rib. It crushed his heart and spiked tears in his eyes. His face scrunched up and the furious look in his eyes returned.
Niccolo started to cry, Karai trying to calm him down to no avail. He became more and more angry. He ripped himself away from Karai’s grasp and ran into his room; slamming the door behind him.
Niccolo sobbed, and needed to break something. He looked around his room, his eyes gazed across everything.
He ran over to his easel, throwing it on the ground. He swept his glass jars onto the floor. He cat-swiped everything on to the floor. Books, toys, action figures, small gifts and paintbrushes.
He tore through the bookshelves, he threw things over, he ripped apart his room. He cried, and for the first time in his life, he screamed out of pure pain.
He continued tearing things apart until he finally landed on the painting.
The family portrait.
He could still here the echos of Zuccone’s voice.
“Looks good,”
Niccolo crumpled onto the floor, sobbing into his hands, in a nest of a destroyed room. He sat in the puddle of despair, eventually falling asleep and having no dreams.
———
They had a proper funeral for him. Mikey, being the one to speak first, and say “May the spirits of our Ancestors lead him to the safety of the Spirit World.”
Niccolo was next to speak. He coked on his words, he held back tears, he even had to drink water a few times. But, one he was finished, he didn’t wait around to watch the casket be put into the ground.
———
The days that followed where…hard on everyone. Mikey spending more time with Niccolo, if that meant anything at all.
Niccolo had shut himself off, he consumed himself with his work and ate rarely.
“He stopped talking too,” Karai said to thin air, letting the smoke around her absorb her problems. Meditation had helped in the past, but for some reason, this felt different. There was something more then just smoke in the air.
“He hasn’t said a word since… Since we lost him. I think they both died that day. It was hard on everyone, but it’s so much worse on Niccolo. It’s like… he doesn’t care anymore. About himself, anyway.” Karai spoke, trailing off.
“Karai…”. A ghostly voice whispered to her.
“Who-Who’s there?!” She exclaimed, getting off of the meditation spot and striking a fighting pose.
“It’s me, Karai.” The ghost whispered again, sounding familiar, yet it was too ghastly to understand.
“Show yourself!” She demanded.
The smoke from the candles started to form a ball, morphing into a shape. A human shape.
“It’s me, Karai,” the smoke said once more, “It’s Zuccone.”
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moonlight-taylor · 23 days ago
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「 Moonlight's Introduction ᓚᘏᗢ 」
• this is a roleplay blog, block me if you don't want me on your timeline •
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『Identity -—- he/him (open to they/them or neopronouns), tranny-fag, polyamorous』
『Relationship Status -—- married to @t8yl0r-8 and dating @jroot04』
『Job -—- guitar tech for Murderdolls and Slipknot』
『Pets -—- a tuxedo cat named Miracle, a white and gray cat named Leo, a white mouse named Opal』
『Other -—- voice claim is Charlie Slimecicle, 5'7.5, left forearm is a prosthetic, has an older sister named Nicci and a niece named Salem (@salemslivingghost), plays guitar, dabbles in photography as a hobby, has a baby girl named Jade with Corey』
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tags under the cut
Slipknot:
00/Sid: raccoon child
01/Joey: drummer boy
02/Paul: paulina
03/Chris: the nose
04/Jim: peach
05/Craig: killers are quiet
06/Shawn: the clown
07/Mick: giant teddy bear
08/Corey: the beloved<33
Murderdolls:
Wednesday 13: champion arm wrestler
Joey Jordison: [see above]
Acey Slade: plumber
Eric Griffin: male bimbo
Ben Graves: lanky drummer
Kids:
Griffin: baby bird
Salem: baby bat
Miracle: (dont have a tag for her whoops)
Leo: the leo chronicles
Whiskey: whiskey the kitty
Opal: (also dont have a tag for her whoops)
Taylor: baby xenomorph
Jade: mini gemstone
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tauforged · 1 year ago
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she spent the rest of the night sulking and slamming shit around needlessly because i didn’t have much to say about All That aside from ‘aww haha thanks…?’ and like even when i did get genuinely excited about the gift they got me (backpack shaped like a blue whale :’) i’d been looking for one that wasn’t made for kids for literal ages idk where they found it) she was just giving me this Look the entire time like. you got up and read a PRINTED SPEECH that sounded like a EULOGY that you considered appropriate for my BIRTHDAY in front of the SISTER i haven’t seen in MONTHS and her PARTNER who has never even been to our HOUSE before except to help pick up/drop off things and you expect me to WHAT? start sobbing and clapping and give you an oscar?? it was WEIRD and it made me UNCOMFORTABLE and it also made us look like some sort of fucking fucked up cult family that ends up being cannibals in a horror movie. nicci’s partner must have been sitting there feeling like they were in that dinner table scene in resident evil 7 and i DO NOT BLAME THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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elirab · 1 year ago
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Israel Day 1
Riga to Tel Aviv 19 July 2023 Overnight flight and sleepy! Arrival!     Lev Tel Aviv – 19 July 2023 Nephew Eytan & Niece Nicci         Kiryat Malachi Retirement home    My sister Sorrel Neve Tsedek           Charles Clore Beach Carmel Market Beit Shtraus Area Lev Tel Aviv Neve Tsedek Florentin  
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