#Simon Brezhnev

[manjericarte]

🎉 HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME: THE RELEASE OF THE FIRST DURARARA!! NOVEL 🎉

[autisticshizuo]

20 years ago, on this day the first volume of Durarara!! (デュラララ!!) was released in Japan. This volume contains the Dollars/Mika Harima arc, which is the start and readers' first meeting with such a well written plot, complex characters and artsy language.

Happy 20th anniversary to Durarara!! It will be forever my favorite media; no book, anime or manga can come close to the place that Durarara!! has in my heart. It will remain as a unique and one of a kind work, not only to me but to many other readers as well.

[shibaleeart]

Izaya and Simon's birthdays are back to back so Happy Birthday to both of them 🥳

[azumasoroshi]

lmfao?????????

[coolest-boooom]

Lil guy

I want to squish him

[starlightshadowsworld]

Agency informant Izaya

I don't want to bring up the characters of Durarara because they don't really play apart in this.

Despite all the events taking place, this shit happens in the mysterious time and land of post canon.

It's very much a Izaya in the world of Bungou Stray Dogs AU.

However I felt like I should mention what happened when he left.

So the final fight with Shizuo and Izaya happened. And practically everyone thinks Izaya is dead.

There's a great deal of scepticism, and for good reason it is Izaya Orihara after all.

There are 5 people who all know for certainty that he's still alive, other than those that saved him.

Shinra, Shizuo, Mairu, Kururi and Simon.

Shinra and Shizuo just have a gut feeling. They know him well enough to be able to survive just about anything. That and a body was never found.

Shinra, to himself hopes that wherever Izaya is he's happy. He knows more than anyone how human his old friend is.

Mairu and Kururi know because Izaya has always taken care of the house bills, phone bills and anything else they needed money for.

And those payments never stopped. Could just be some auto thing, but now every month they get a certain amount of money.

Every birthday, every time there's a Yuuhei Hanejima meet and greet there's the exact amount + travel fair in their bank accounts.

It's always anonymous but they know who it's from.

Simon knows.... Because it's Simon and Simon knows everything.

Somehow when Izaya was recovering in hospital, one of the nurses handed him a box with his name on it.

And inside was some Fatty Tuna.

Thing is they all know Izaya is never coming back. Again, it's mostly a gut feeling at first.

But than all the information on Izaya Orihara vanishes over night. If you search his name you will find nothing.

Any information the Dollars or other gangs have on him, purged from their systems.

The Awakusu have only their payments and emails between Izaya on record as the only proof they did that they ever did business with him.

His phone number is no longer in use. Kanra leaves the chat room, and the account is deleted. As does every other account ran by Izaya.

It's like Izaya never existed.

He's burned his essence from the city, only remembered in the stories and memories of those around him.

It's poetic in a sense.

And Izaya will never return, because along with the PTSD from his final fight, there's nothing left for him in Ikebukuro.

He's with the Agency, he's happy and more alive than ever. Trying to change, to be better.

And to truly atone, he will leave Ikebukuro in the dust. Erase himself from it's streets and let it move on peace.

In a way Izaya did die in that final fight. But he's reborn, he's someone the old him wouldn't recognise and that makes him smile.

"Izaya? Are you coming in?" Asks Atsushi, walking over to him. Izaya looks back, smiling warmly and nods. "Yeah, yeah I'm coming." Atsushi hesitates but Izaya gestures for him to continue.

"Are you okay?"

Izaya nods "I am, just reminiscing I guess. But back to work, right?" Atsushi nods, smiling "yeah, we've got a new case and could really use your help."

Izaya grins, intrigued "lead the way" he follows Atsushi inside, and he doesn't look back.

And he never will.

[shizuostrans]

(Here's my translation for the infamous succubus-taking-form-of-Izaya part of Duramp! I will try to do the other parts later, but it is LONG. t/n under the readmore.)

Duramp! (Shizuo's Encounter)

Ikebukuro, in front of Seibu Department Store

All things considered, this city called Tokyo is very crowded with people. It's far different from that rural island.¹ I'd say in lieu of that, the presence of non-human beings here is faint amongst them.

Oh, there he is.

Hmm, he's wearing sunglasses, but he looks like a well-behaved man.² There's also the fact that he’s related to that boy, so I shouldn’t have to worry.

Alright then, let’s copy his desires onto my own body, just as I did with the boy named Mikado a while ago.

Now, what form does this man desire…

...a man?

What the hell? He’s gay?

Ah, but that’s fine, love can take any form.

Besides, I was starting to get hungry, and I suppose once in a while it could be nice to indulge in an unusual situation between two men.

And from what I've heard, it's said that same-sex couples have deeper and more sordid desires swirling around in them.

Well, with that in mind––

"Hey."

I changed myself into the form the man with sunglasses desired, stood in front of him, and shot him a smile.

I made sure that no one other than the man with sunglasses would be able to see me. Unlike the unfortunate case with that Mikado boy, this time there won’t be any interferences, and I'll be able to lure him somewhere and––

"Iiizaaayaaaa..."

Hehe, such a slack-jawed smile. He has no idea I’m an imposter.

Well, now that he’s let his guard down³, I’ll have to read this man's mind for his information on the form I'm disguised as.

It would be quicker if I could read everything before I transformed, but unfortunately I don't have that kind of power right now.

However, if the other person drops their guard like this―

"I wanted to see you. Really wanted to see you, Iiizayaaa..."

Hmm? That’s odd. This man has not yet opened his mind to meeyaGLrukGAaЭΞ‡――

"No, seriously, I’ve been pissed off something fierce! IZAYAAAA! I was hoping I could beat you to a pulp!"

―Uh-oh.

―This, it isn’t about love or anything of the sort!

―He only desired this man's looks as an opponent he wanted to throttle!

By the time I realized my mistake, it was already too late. The man with sunglasses grabbed me by the collar before I could dispel the illusion and lifted me, and without pause, I was raised overhead and thrown high into the air. For a moment, the ground became a distant thing.

How― my wings― I had to let my wings out. Before I crashed to the ground, I had to reveal my true form, spread my wings and soar into the air――

This man who has yet to see past the designation⁴ will see my true form, but now wasn't the time to be saying thaaaahAHAAaHhAWaWAaAAhaAHAHHHHHHH

"You really are a guy with perfect timing for everything! It pisses me the hell off!"

A shock. A shock went through my body. The man with sunglasses jumped up after me and drove me into the asphalt with such immense force it was like slam dunking me into a basketball hoop.⁵ He made a clean landing on his feet and lifted his leg high up towards me.

You fool, I am still a succubus, no human’s kick can―

"Die."

"GUHAH!?"

"Die."

Wait... hold...

"Die."

What's with this guy’s attack power!?

"Die."

This is way worse than the vampires in the Castle!⁶

"Die."

He's lost interest in kicking me, and now he's moved to straddle on top of me and wallop me in the face!

"Die."

I-I-I– I have to shed this form q-q-q-q-quickly

"Die."

Nonono– no good, the shock and pain are making it too hard to concentrate...

"Die." Die, die, die!

"Die." Die!

"Die."

S-s-s-save me, s-s-s-somebody―

♂♀

An enormous man called out from behind Shizuo Heiwajima, who still hadn't budged from his mounted position.⁷

"Hello, Shizoo-oh. What are you doing?"

"Diediediedie...yeah? What do you want, Simon? Look, Izaya’s not fighting back at all today, so I’m taking my chance to go ahead and kill him about a hundred times..."

"If Izaya, who's eating sushi now at our restaurant?"

"Eh?"

At Simon's words, a black man dressed as a chef, Shizuo turned puzzled eyes towards him, then dropped his gaze back down below.

"...huh?"

"Wrung dry⁸, yes?"

"...So then who's this guy?"

"Who knows?"

Simon slowly shook his head upon seeing the succubus, no longer able to hide herself from the others.

Until a few moments ago, she had the face of Izaya Orihara himself, but now her face was swollen and without any semblance of his facial features.

"Um, hey..."

With an awkward look on his face, Shizuo slowly unseated himself from his mounted position and reached his hand out to the succubus, but–

"Hhi... HYAAAAaAaaAHH!"

The succubus stood up with a strange scream and ran off into the crowd with inhuman speed.

"......?"

"Ooh, that quick moving, very much could be Izaya."

Left behind in the dust, Shizuo and Simon looked at each other and muttered between themselves.

"...was that a doppelganger? Huh, you don't think we've got the wrong guy, do you?"

"Sus-pi-scous... Shizuo hitting empty ground when I call out to him, but that person then suddenly appearing...?"

Translation notes:

[¹] Reference to Growerth from Vamp! and is the primary setting of the series.

[²] Sunglasses are considered a trademark accessory for delinquents.

[³] The expression used is 心を許す meaning "to allow your heart(/spirit/mind) to be open" and is used to signify trust or relaxing one's guard.

[⁴] Earlier in Duramp! it's explained that succubi "designate" their target to become visible to them as the person they desire.

[⁵]

[⁶] Reference to Waldstein Castle from Vamp!

[⁷] The mounted position is a grappling move in jiu jitsu that involves sitting on top of your opponent to pin them to the ground.

[⁸] ボロ雑巾 lit. beat-up cleaning rag. It's a metaphor used to describe using someone until they're ragged and then throwing them away.

[ayesakara]

My Top 10 Favorite Durarara Characters:

1. Shizuo Heiwajima

2. Vorona

3. Celty Sturluson

4. Tom Tanaka

5. Simon Brezhnev

6. Mizuki Akabayashi

7. Kyouhei Kadota

8. Chikage Rokujou

9. Shinra Kishitani

10. Akane Awakusu

I love this anime so much! ❤️

[cryptid--bunny]

hi. durarara dump. smile

self instert stuff. smiles.

Pony Durarara came to me in a dream (literally, I had a dream abt it last night)

[unpopularshipbracket]

Simon o8< Izaya/Shizuo (Durarara!!)

But op, you say, Izaya/Shizuo isn't an unpopular ship. It's one of the most popular ships. What nonsense is this? Well, we aren't talking about Izaya/Shizuo or even Izaya <3< Shizuo. We are talking specifically about Izaya and Shizuo in an Ashen relationship with Simon as their Auspistice. For any non-Homestucks, this is a sort of romantic rivalry with a third party who acts as a mediator. Simon is a vital and inextricable part of shizaya, is what I'm saying.

Racetrack Higgins/Spot Conlon (Newsies)

Spot Conlon is the newsie king of Brooklyn, a powerful ally in the newsie strike, and Racetrack is a newsie with a gambling problem. Spot appears in under five minutes of the movie, but that was enough to capture our hearts. Spot and Race stand next to each other and laugh at each other jokes, and in this crazy world, isn't that enough?

Here are all of Spot's scenes in the movie. Skip to 2:25 for some of Spot and Racetrack's classic interactions. Do it for the accents, if nothing else.

[favficbirthdays]

Happy Birthday

Simon Brezhnev (5th May)

Durarara!!

[youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff]

Happy birthday to all those others characters born on may 5

[lylaseb]

To one of the most mysterious characters in the series

The man the myth the legend

Happy birthday Simon 👊

[shibaleeart]

Happy Black History month from a goofy black drrr fan, take some silly low effort kufi hat edits i made

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 4 react

simon i SWEAR ill get you out of there and that horrendous art style

also though. TEENAGE SHIZAYA CHAPTER LETS GO???? idk if narita made the minidura or if it's a separate illustrator but they are giving the FOOD rn

i was wondering where the official knowledge that simon forced izaya and shizuo to eat sushi together came from. i mean i guess this isnt official and it was probably stated in the anime somewhere but still, good to see it illustrated pff

AAAAAAAAA ive seen this image around tumblr but i didnt realize it was from minidura 😭 i thought it was fanart or smth (<-dumbass)

wait im actually going crazy over this akwjhkjdshs they're washing dishes together!!! now we just need them to do laundry and taxes and-

im going to go over the image limit this time on god

wow cant believe they're bathing each other too (<-delusional)

something about the first shizuo panel reminds me of aggretsuko. which is. actually. huh. arent they both like adults with anger issues. durarara aggretsuko au when

also deadass i forgot dennis existed until i read about him in a shizaya fanfiction and i was like "who's dennis" pfgfkhkd

so true though never throw kitchen knives kids

LMFAO HE JUST GAVE THEM MORE WORK INSTEAD OF RESPONDING

they're gonna be here all day at this rate. actually shizaya as fast food/restaurant staff au when because they'd have the stupidest rivalry known to man and i need it

fucking imagine shinra walks in and sees shizuo and izaya working by the counter

i hope izaya gets to eat fatty tuna by the end of this though. god knows he's gonna look cute as hell

made funnier by the fact that izaya at least definitely knows how to cook with how long he's been on his own and needed to feed his sisters

damn ive actually never seen someone's vein burst in a way where blood sprays out in anime akshGKJHJKSD thats impressive actually

dont look now but this may or may not inspire me to make a mermaid/pirate au (<-obsessed)

who needs kaiju battles when you can have blue fin tuna vs crab

they're literally never leaving this place bro they're gonna be stuck here for eternity. anyway here's a literary analysis of durarara pointing out why russia sushi is actually representative of dante's inferno /j

i want to read those blurbs so baddddd screams sobs bangs table

rip dennis dude he doesnt get paid enough to deal with shizaya

rippp time to listen to izaya pine hopelessly for the man he cant stop annoying for five seconds

simon had the right idea. too bad shizaya are shizaya

what is that face izaya. i cant tell if he's irritated that simon's right or irritated that simon cant understand how instinctual their hatred is or amused that simon thinks he and shizuo could be friends or amused because he thinks meaningless fighting is hilarious

oh......that kind of hurts actually

i can imagine izaya suggesting it as a joke and then lying in bed that night thinking about how it's never going to happen and it really sounds like a funny joke huh? (he is not crying)

i cant believe simon's been dealing with these bitches for like 7 years now like dude has the patience of a saint

😭give him his 50,000 yen simon

we can see that the crack in the sign is actually fixed now too ahhh time really flies when you're stuck in a relationship of mutual hatred

chibizaya is so cuteeeeeeeee

im sure he intended to paint himself that way in his recollection though pff

THATS RIGHT SHIZAYA BE THE PORCUPINES. SNUGGLE. DO IT

step aside erika, simon is the face of the shizaya nation now. especially with that "you just have a shizuo complex dont you" quote that i found the other day which i still havent recovered from

HAUDGHUSDH orihara izaya, pro unreliable narrator

hilarious how we never see tom's face. just his dreads lmfao

dennis and simon are so done with like izaya bro i think they can tell at this point that he's horrifically pining and has no healthy outlet for it. the bills go to him because they're bullying him

it'd be funny if they billed him 50,000 at the end actually pft

I KNEW WE'D GET THEM EATING TOGETHER!!! I HAD FAITH

they're so cute oh my god can i make that my header or something

10/10 chapter im going to punt izaya into a wall and get simon flowers

[starlightshadowsworld]

This is amazing I love it lost my absolute shit at "shank the twink"

durarara!! au where simon makes izaya take on the raira trio (and saki) for like an internship (after punching him) so instead of the rest of the series being a drawn out gang war, it ends up being a high-stakes dark urban fantasy version of the office.

-namie is still there, and she and mikado have bi-hourly death glare matches

-anri continues trying to slash izaya, coming up with more and more complex ways to get him, and ultimately recruiting mairu and kururi into her “shank the twink” schemes

-masaomi still flirts with anri. and sometimes namie. and also mikado. no amount of pointing out that saki is literally right there will get him to stop, and pointing her out too much usually makes her start flirting too

-initially, only namie, izaya, and saki are allowed to touch the Evil Master Plan Chessboard, but izaya and saki both lose privileges (izaya for one too many fires, and saki for reasons no one is comfortable discussing)

-izaya still gets shanked by yodogiri but anri doesn’t try to slash him while he’s in the hospital bc she’s way too nice. manami very much does try, and izaya constantly taunts them both about it

-manami joins anri and the twins in the “slash a bitch” team

-mikado and saki seem to be having a subtle contest of who can be more unsettlingly adorable

-if izaya, mikado, and saki are all in a room together, someone else has to be there with them. otherwise that room will soon be on fire.

-if izaya, mikado, saki, and the twins are all in a room together, then that room is probably already on fire.

-saki is the only person there who genuinely likes izaya. this does not stop her from betraying him at the drop of a hat if someone she cares about is in danger. or if it’s just kinda funny.

-izaya has to find a better hiding spot for celty’s head and sulks bc now he can’t prance around his office monologuing about valhalla with it. this has convinced namie that there may in fact be some sort of benevolent deity.

-sometimes mikage shows up. the raira trio spends the better part of several months trying to figure out if izaya is sleeping with her or namie. this comes to a conclusion when they walk in on namie and mikage making out.

-during shizuo and izaya’s pointless death matches, the whole office shows up to cheer him on. and by him i mean shizuo.

-mikado eventually starts timing izaya’s Evil Monologues

-anri has yakuza immunity bc absolutely no one is stupid enough to piss off akabayashi. she ends up acting as a spy for the awakusu-kai but unfortunately most of what she has to report is “yes orihara is still insane. no i don’t think he’s been doing any drugs but honestly that’s actually even more depressing he’s just Like That”

-izaya does still do his Evil Plans but he has to be even more careful and every now and then one of the kids gets in trouble and he ends up getting forced to help out

-the recruitment process: “will this be a paid internship?” “of course this is a paid internship, i’m not a monster”

-izaya’s crush on shinra gets increasingly obvious and somehow absolutely nobody notices

-every single one of izaya’s attempts at a hot pot party fail miserably