#Sick jams

[akashicpoint]

BAIAN SAYAKA - THE SILVER CASE [1999]

[runawayballista]

god the vocal version of cross your heart is such a banger. and its almost a shame its the wild monster encounter theme because you very rarely need to fuse during a normal wild encounter. what a treat

[staracket]

no more secrets

[freckliedan]

i'm sorry but if you've only been a phannie since the reniassance you really have no right to be criticizing dan gender posters.

i don't think anyone who got here post revival understands the distinction between "fans crossing the line" vs "fans listening to what dan and phil tell us even before announcing things explicitly and celebrating that". and the way people act like they need to defend dan from people who think he could be trans makes that abundantly clear.

dan especially has been so open about how this community's support is what made it possible for him to accept himself and come out, and that wasn't support that magically appeared the second BIG dropped. it didn't exist only after we got told officially.

the community support of dan and phil's queerness was the way people noticed and celebrated and understood the way they increasingly chose to be vulnerable with us over the years, and the way we shared how they made us feel safe in our identities.

they came out a million little ways before they said the words, but dan did especially: wearing nail polish, going curly, an earring in the gay ear, liking tweets that said he was gay, making increasing gay jokes. the winter before they both came out they tweeted about the bbc calling them a couple and didn't correct it. dan TOLD us in march of 2018 that he had a video planned for june that was relevant to the month but not because of his birthday.

they do the telling us with their actions before announcing it in so many other contexts too: moving, announcing tours, etc.

if you trust in and pay attention to their consistant patterns of behavior it's hard to be surprised by dan and phil.

so why is it that this one fucking thing—dan's gender—is not allowed to be posted about in the same way as everything else? those of us who do take so much care in what we say, too, if we ever do anything other than post jokingly. both for dan's sake (nobody forgets this is a public forum) and because the transphobic backlash is constant.

dan has been saying he sometimes wishes he was a girl since manchester. talking about gender since 2009. the gender conversation has been constant as long as dan's been online and we know it's been a constant since early childhood too.

dan said after BIG dropped in 2019 that he considered coming out in 2014 but then started thinking about gender and needed more time to figure it out. and you know how that ended? he did NOT say "i came out because i figured it out". it ended with dan saying that thinking about gender culminated in realizing it's okay to come out and change your mind. that you can be a formless blob. (quote)

and then sister daniel happened, and dan has been increasingly openly talking about questioning gender ever since. and hey: dan and phil commented on the possibility of a gender video from dan during dan's bday livestream. doesn't that sound familiar.

this isn't different from when dan and phil claimed heterosexuality and then were openly not in the lead up to coming out. this pattern of behavior is the same, and the way people are posting is the same, and i've never fucking once seen a dan gender poster cross the line the way people used to.

it's just a different subject.

would the people who get pissed at dan gender posters have been doing the same thing to people who thought dnp were queer before they came out? did you not realize what an rpf community is like because you got here after the fact, or are you being transphobic hypocrites?

why is the possibility of transness something dan needs to be defended from, anyways? it's a compliment and we know dan takes it that way.

figure your shit out. i'm sick of it, especially coming from other trans people. i've had so fucking many trans mutuals bullied off this website and out of this space for openly talking about the possibility that dan might not be cis over the years, and when the same transphobic talking points come from a trans sibling's mouth? it disgusts me.

you don't have to like it or agree with it or engage with it. but can you PLEASE stop acting like you have a moral high ground and are doing something beneficial to dan that he'd thank you for? just fucking block and blacklist and move on.

and know that if dan someday turns out not to be cis, you're gonna have to live with the knowledge that you made things harder for him.

us dan gender posters? we all know we might be wrong and we've had to think about whether we're happy with our actions if that's the case. and i know damn well we'll all be celebrating dan's gender nonconformity just as much for the rest of time if dan remains cis.

we're under constant scruitiny so we've had to self reflect. but i really don't think any of you have. think about your underlying biases. consider the impact a vehement defense of cisness would have on dan if he isn't. and please, for the love of god, let that impact your actions.

[sp00kywashere]

Now have Jay and Tim kiss tbh

(I love your art style by the way)

Favorite entry was the 4 hour make out session (Thank you!!)

[cloudyjamjohn]

Egbert, Gender, Disappointment, and Freedom.

This is my house and I will say what I want, but to start here is a disclaimer: This is a big long rant of my thoughts! I don't mind explaining stuff in further detail but be kind! June Egbert is canon and nothing can change that. But if you're going to act like Egbert can't be read as transmasc or nonbinary in the original texts I do think you're being deliberately obtuse. The idea that the transmasc and genderfluid john headcanons that persisted for years before the popularization of June Egbert were all a result of projection and had no substance or reasoning is disingenuous. If you firmly believe John and June can NOT coexist and are certain you won’t change your mind this post isn’t for you. Now then this is my rambling thoughts on why I love genderfluid John and believe his existence would save him. When June first became popularized as a headcanon many of the points people brought up, akining them to their personal trans fem experiences were some of the same points other people used for trans masc john- but, for lack of better wording, it was like looking at these experiences through a funhouse mirror. Where some people perceived June as clinging to the toxic aspects of masculinity to cope with what she thought she needed to be and just remaining miserable for it, others perceived trans masc john as doing the same. Overcompensating for different reasons in a sense. Did June cling to it because it was what her dad wanted? Expected? Did John cling to it as a comfort? Something necessary to be a “man”? The original comic gives us no definitive answers, but something everyone can agree on is these ideas of being manly, strong, and (maybe) insensitive/jerky do Egbert more harm than good. Is this entirely intentional though or is this a result of people not perceiving John as a whole?

Outside of moments where John verbally reasserts his manliness and toughness, where do John’s interests lie? Jokes and practical japery, magic, video games and movies, and paranormal lore. Dissecting these only one of them may really explore John’s inner feelings of gender in Homestuck- his love of movies. John loves action and apocalyptic films, expressing his love of the traditionally masculine, rough and manly male leads with admiration for the female characters sprinkled in here and there. For Con Air he projected heavily onto the male lead, idolizing the idea of being a strong hero, standing up for what’s right, and (most interestingly) being reunited with a loving wife and daughter. While someone could brush this off as June looking for a role model in what she thinks she is supposed to be, or perhaps misattributing some kind of romantic attraction to a feeling of “wanting to be him”, I think it goes deeper than that. If we were to remove the concept of gender from this entirely it shows that Egbert wants to be strong, a hero, and part of a loving family- specifically in the role of a caretaker who is desired and respected. John only ever defends his adoration when other people mock or belittle him for it. His hatred for the film only manifests during a time John’s own self hatred and grief were at an all time high, his denouncement of ConAir not really being targeted at Cameron Poe but himself and his frustration of being (mostly) isolated and confined. 

Is this even about gender anymore? Let’s look further.

While some people do think Dad was abusive, or June hated him, I have to disagree. Because despite young Egbert perceiving their father as this pinnacle of manliness, is that what you actually saw? Because despite dad Egbert being sharp, strong, and gentlemanly he did a lot of things that weren't traditionally masculine. A single father raised by a single mother, he baked often and taught John the art of pranking- one of their greatest joys and something June stopped doing in the epilogues/BC despite it being one of her favorite things and an integral part to her character. Dad never belittled John, each of his letters full of praise and support, almost heavy handedly so. While he would often use gendered language- such as "son", "man", etc.- the idea that any of it was malicious, as if to curb any femininity June might show, seems a bit of a stretch. Dad Egbert remained silently worried, perhaps the only true poignant evidence of toxic masculinity, when John suffered from nightmares and scribbled his inner hatred over his posters in the colors of those he considered his friends.But maybe he did ask, and maybe John didn’t understand because he couldn’t see his own writing on the walls. Which led to the miscommunication and Dad Egbert trying to support his child’s “interest” in harlequin dolls with matching gifts.

The truth of dad egbert is he is a man who was loved, whose corpse John discovered at the tender age of 13, and was never properly mourned.

How does gender play into this???

It doesn’t, and that’s the issue. Egbert, despite their quirks and the uniqueness of their circumstances, is a character people project onto and relate to. They are a trusting character who despite their skepticism loves their friends and does their best to believe in them. Personalized cards on their birthdays, gifts catered to them, thinking of them fondly, listening to them not because they want to but because they TRUST them- even when their friends belittle them, mock them, blame them. Karkat projects his own self-hatred onto John. Dave projects his bro’s expectations onto John. Vriska projects her entire EGO onto John.

And they take it. Because John struggles with their identity, their grief, their communication, their responsibilities, and their own self hatred.

Because John HATES himself and he doesn’t want to disappoint others and have them hate him too. They expect him to be a leader when he just wants to be their friend. They expect him to be a “man” so he tries to fit that role. They expect him to take care of himself and he doesn’t know how, having always followed what others asked of him even if they wouldn’t do the same for him.

And even not Egbert can not meet the expectations of the audience. There will be people who are disappointed if “John” ceases to exist, and people who are disappointed if “June” isn’t all she is. There are people disappointed with June’s clothes and figure despite her being nothing more than a nameless silhouette. Too feminine. There would be people who would be disappointed if she was too masculine. 

While people criticize the genderfluid John headcanon for its “only” root being set in John’s aspect of Breath- freedom and change- I think they’re missing the mark. Because it can also mean to be unbound. Unbound from the expectations and the worries of others, shifting on a whim to whatever feels most right. Freedom of expression, a shift from role to role, a trickster god who stands center stage as whatever they wish rather than a stone-stiff silhouette.

While genderfluidity may sound like a compromise to some, a cop-out to not disappoint anyone, I think it would save John from disappointing themselves. It’s not just about expression after all, them being a woman or man may bring personal euphoria but it doesn’t fix their destroyed relationships. It won’t suddenly make them a more sensitive person, a less anxious person, a person unburdened by responsibilities no matter what some people might think. That would take work.

But, while it may be hard to empathize for those of you who aren’t nonbinary or genderfluid or even trans, feeling free from the burdens of a binary can be invigorating. Not having to worry about how well you present, how “right” or “wrong” you are, is freeing. I truly believe John cutting ties with these self/peer-imposed expectations would leave him room to grow, to look inward, to not worry about changing on the outside but rather on the inside.

That’s my take on the matter at least. At its core I really do believe Egbert’s biggest issues aren’t their gender but rather their grief, lack of support system, and possible undiagnosed autism. I think genderfluid john would be awesome, but therapy would probably be better. Either way June is awesome and I hope she stands center stage with John one day, like Roxy and Roxy. Either that like army of John and Junes lead by a single John that has shed their flesh and moral form, that would be super cool.

Be kind to others and don’t spread hate! <3

[wanderingwomanwondering]

You: *so so normal*

Me: *permanent resident of payneland*

[hyohaehyuk]

jam laughing at the vibe comment while they watch the birth of ericsaad "you remember when that happend to us when we first met?"

source: lestatdevampire and vxmpzion

full video (the excerpt is from around 3:37):

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE team talks Paris, love triangles & all things Season 2 | TV Insider

[akashicpoint]

K-ENT (K-Entertainment theme) - NO MORE HEROES

[runawayballista]

i can & will yell endlessly about the way lenna's inception motifs are woven into the cassette beasts soundtrack but also, the straight up remix of lenna's theme is so sooo good

[solazu1]

Marble hornets jam but make it that au were jay is an angel

Aye aye captain’!!!

[freckliedan]

2009 -> 2019 -> 2023

[cup1d-kpd]

hes improving guys be proud of him

[edsbacktattoo]

✨ Commissions Open! ✨

Hi, folks! I’m opening some commission slots. I’d love to do some more tattoo designs, or character art! I’ve put some examples of my recent work under the cut. I can also do anthro/furry work, just dm me if you’d like to see some examples of that 😌

I’m trying to fill a portfolio, with the intention of getting into the tattooing industry! So even if you’re not keen on a commission atm, even just sharing this post will be helping me out a lot.

Thank you! Mwah 🖤