#Show analysis

[leikeliscomet]

I'm seeing Black fans across the diaspora sharing their interpretations so I'd like to share mine for the Black British + Ghanaian POV

Abi looks after the customers & they show her a sign of respect. A bit of Nigerian-Ghanaian solidarity. Growing up, my Nigerian friends always supported me and helped me understand my Ghanaian heritage as someone whose African & Caribbean so I liked this small moment

Next is the obvious inclusion of Anansi. I kinda wish they specified hes Ghanaian in the episode but either way it's nice to have small slice of Ghana in the show

& lastly the ending with the Barber feels like a mini commentary on Black British identity. The Barber despite looking like them has no community or identity, but Omo gives him one. He can now reconnect with his culture that he once lost. He can tell his own story now.

[biggesthomuradefender]

kinda long homura rant/analysis

“homura doesn’t care about anybody but madoka !!!!”

literally homura:

originally tried to save all of the girls before she eventually gave up bc it was literally impossible,

literally ran like hell to get sayaka’s soul gem back after madoka chucked it off the bridge and even closely inspected it w such care to make sure it wasn’t damaged at all,

admitted that she has hurt people (most likely the magica quartet, aka all of her friends, bc who else?) and feels immense guilt abt it and wishes she could erase it all (she literally says that hurting mami hurt HER),

can’t bare to kill mami (she looks so conflicted and sad when pointing the gun at her) and can’t even look at her when she shoots her in the leg bc she rly doesn’t want to hurt her,

subconsciously created a desired reality that she brought all of her friends (even kyosuke and hitomi, implying that she even cares for them as well) into where alive, happy, and together (ppl seem to forget that homura’s labyrinth was literally what she’s wanted deep down before it started to fall apart as she realized it was fake; sayaka literally points out how a witch who just wants to keep everyone happy and out of harm can’t be that bad, and kyuubey points out how homura would have most likely preferred to stay in this fake, happy world instead of realizing the horrible truth),

apologizes to kyoko for “getting her involved in this” after she realizes that she herself is the witch, aka most likely apologizing for wasting kyoko’s time when she asked her to go to kazamino city w her and for calling her,

rewrote reality in order to bring sayaka and bebe back to life and give everyone the happy life they always desired and deserved (she is literally willing to proclaim herself as “evil” and “the devil” and be unhappy if it means that madoka and everyone else gets to be happy and alive, safe from all the pain and the incubators who are still trying to prey on them and all magical girls)

… but she only cares abt madoka?

[atticmichaelangelo]

Nana Komatsu, the fear of loneliness, and the perfect tragedy of her story

Within the Nana fandom, it is a widely acknowledged fact that Nana Komatsu ( who I will be calling Hachi for convenience) is written and portrayed as a clingy and needy character. Naturally, the effect that such a personality has on the viewers varies, with some enjoying and even empathising with Hachi, while others feel less inclined to such character archetypes, or even real life people, for a plethora of different reasons.

However, I believe that while this aspect of her personality is often highlighted, it plays a much deeper narrative role than it is given credit for. What may initially have seemed like a benign and overused personality trait — Hachi’s need for connection — actually plays a much larger role in shaping the course of her life, and understanding her relationship with loneliness and attachment allows for a greater understanding of her decisions within the anime and manga ( understanding not justification)

To do this we must examine how Ai Yazawa chooses to present Hachi to us, the viewers, in the first few episodes / chapters, and why. Hachi from the get go is depicted to be boy crazy - a girl with her head in the clouds. Someone who is quick to endear herself to others, and even quicker to idolise them - she is a character that wholeheartedly indulges in and thrives off love and attention, even if it is at the expense of her own wishes and dignity (will elaborate). We follow Hachi through her intense attachments - from her art teacher, to the pizza delivery boy, to the guy in the shop, to Asano. Out of all these attachments, we think we can see a recurring theme - they are all of romantic nature, and showcase Hachis constant search and desire to be loved. And yet there is a character whose interactions with Hachi are even more telling of Hachi’s priorities, and which I think is often undermined in the fandom due to the focus of Hachi's romantic pursuits, yet crucial to the foreshadowing and understanding of Hachi’s character and story.

Junko. We see a bond established between them right at the beginning of the anime/manga, while we're still getting to know Hachi, which serves as a key foundation for her characterisation. Hachi follows Junko to art school simply because Junko went. We observe as Hachi interacts with Junko, seeking advice,comfort and security from her, while also allowing herself to be condescended and even embarrassed by Junko. An example of this is when Junko tells Shoji and kyosuke as soon as Hachi meets them that she is loud and has a long history with men. While these traits aren't inherently negative, in the context of the society and time the manga is set in, they were not viewed as favourable traits for women. Hachi's initial protests at having these aspects of her life exposed are telling. Junko can tend at times at the start of the story to be very brisk and sometimes even outright insensitive to Hachi. Yet, when Junko decides to go to Tokyo, Hachi tearfully begs her to stay, even diminishing Kyosuke's importance to his face in an effort to keep Junko close. Realising it would be unfair to hold Junko back from her dreams, Hachi impulsively decides to apply to schools in Tokyo as well. She had no money, no set career aspirations, and no solid plans, yet was adamant to join her friend.

And this brings us to the key aspect of Hachi’s character that Ai Yazawa informed us of from very early on: she will uproot her whole life in order to not be alone. And this trait is depicted throughout all her relationships, platonic and romantic. Hachi may be boy obsessed, but to diminish her later actions to just that is a disservice to Ai Yazawa’s writing skills, as in these pivotal few scenes, Hachi’s past and future link and meld together immaculately - Hachi’s decision to stay with Takumi was foreshadowed and hinted at phenomenally from the very start of the story through Hachi’s past, and how it shaped her interactions with other characters. Her actions were rooted more in a desperate need for companionship and fear for loneliness than, as some people believe, a habit of putting her romantic relationships on a pedestal - and Ai Yazawa has reminded us of this throughout the story.

Hachi grew up in a loud and rather indifferent household where she grew up ( as a middle child) thinking that her absence would just mean less noise in the household, a thought probably encouraged by her parents' passive and impartial approach to parenting and her growing up, giving her an excess of freedom instead of the attention Hachi desired growing up. Given such an environment, she developed an anxious attachment style, clinging onto whatever relationships she has in order to avoid feeling lonely and isolated, such as her friendship with Junko. She compares the feeling to be worse than Asano breaking up with her - the moment when she realised the extent of her unrequited love and the fragility of relationships, causing her to come to terms fully with the threat of loneliness and abandonment. This concept and revelation seems to haunt her visibly throughout the first few episodes, and more insipidly years later as she still seeks companionship and intimacy to avoid the depression and fear she feels when encountering the emotion that she has correlated with feeling unwanted and used.

So given this, it makes Hachis decision to stay with Takumi even more painstakingly in line with her character. Hachi is not written to be a perfect character for readers to project their own morals into - Hachi is young, still rather sheltered and unsure of her place in the world. She thrives off others' reassurance and the security they provide her - when she feels this is being threatened ( such as when she saw Nana interact with Tsuzuki) she spirals. So when she found out she was pregnant, Takumi very intentionally divulged the information without giving Hachi a chance to prepare, recognising Hachi’s intense aversion to being alone, and exploited it in the scenario to fit his interests in keeping her by his side. Hachi was at this part of the story in a very vulnerable and insecure position. She feared and expected rejection and disappointment from her friends, a reflection of her own and society's negative and sexist feelings on her situation, and saw herself as alone. Blast was excelling and becoming increasingly busy, Junko and Kyosuke were occupied in their own daily lives, and she saw herself with nobody to turn to for help or support, and was too ashamed to ask for it from people she held in such high regard. She believed she had nobody who could give her the stability and comfort she has sought for consistently throughout the manga/anime in her friends and romantic partners.

Nobody but Takumi. Hachi knew she would not be happy. She knew that she did not love him and was not loved the way she always idealised. She knew that by marrying Takumi and raising the child with him she would be sacrificing her friends’ trust and opinions of her, and putting herself in a situation that may seem like what she always wanted ( financial stability and a family) , but was less than ideal in reality. But she ended up marrying Takumi - because she believed Takumi at the time was the only one who would accept her, who would not be any more angry and disappointed at her than she was with herself. She saw him as the only option that guaranteed the security she yearned for and seeked in every one of her personal relationships, even at the expense of her own happiness and friendships - and this because we are shown time and time again that Hachi would rather uproot her life than be on her own. She would rather suffer a person and learn to love them than be without. And that is the painstaking tragedy of it all - it makes sense for her character.

Ai Yazawa does a beautiful job at showing the very human side of personalities and relationships. Personal growth is not a linear process, and while Hachi shows moments of self-awareness and even growth, with instances where she is shown slowly blossoming into a more independent woman and recognising her self-destructive tendencies, she ultimately gravitates towards what is most familiar to her. She acts seemingly as a survival instinct, where the pale mockery of a loving relationship seems more plausible and tolerable to her than the shaky and unpredictability of her future, and facing the shock and hurt of those who she holds so dear to her heart. Though this may frustrate viewers, it is also what makes Hachi such a compelling and relatable character — her choices, while flawed, feel deeply human. Hachi doesn’t always make the smart decision, nor the one best in the long run. She is a character that displays the more uncomfortable sides of human nature and actions, and is a character that can be simultaneously loved and sighed at and learnt from, which is infinitely more educational and enjoyable than a character who has things just happen to them. She is a culmination of her past experiences and how she operated through them and processed them is translated and depicted through her relationships and actions in a realistic, though heart wrenching fashion.

[oatmealdoodles]

My messy thoughts on the new episode

(spoilers for Ghostf**kers)

tldr I LOVED this one the animation saw POPING OFF the writing was great, it was well paced, everything. I just wanted to ramble so here i am talking to no one:

Ok right off the bat i had to pause this like 7 times in the first five minutes because the beginning of this is just packed with insane jokes, glass to see they havent forgotten about being a comedy show

It’s so sad to see Blitzo in this state, especially that it’s been over a month. Like look at this guy he is GOING THROUGH IT.

also this was uncalled for how can you do me like this?

ok like my one problem i don’t like this little Scooby-doo reference with old people. I just skipped it and lost nothing, i don’t know why this is here.

the fight between Blitzo and Millie in the vents was also really well done im so glad Millie is putting up boundaries on dealing with everybody elses Bullshit.

I also don’t hear anyone talking about this but Vivinie Williams (Millie’s VA) did so well in this. Like all the voice acting in this show is peak but I’ve only really heard praise for Brendon and Bryce. Their argument here specifically, the fury in her voice was so well done, bravo.

JESUS CHRIST THEY DID NOT NEED TO GO THIS HARD this scene has been stuck in my head for the past two days, Brandon killed it in he recording booth, the animation is also just so VICERAL. Also the way the fire starts from his hands because he blames himself for it, like Viv went too far with this one. That was not ok.

Bitzo’s panic attack was also done so well. Little detail but i love that when Blitzo screams “Don’t touch me!”, Millie respects this and doesnt, instead comforting him with words. They only touch when he’s calm and ready. Love that.

Bro i was NOT expecting a flashback on how Millie met Blitz, also Millies design slays so hard

the way I gasped.

I also didn’t realize how much I needed an episode focusing on these twos friendship until now. Like FINALLY a Millie episode that doesn’t suck!

Little thing i realized but notice how Blitzo doesn’t make a sex joke at this. Blitzo. Not making a provocative joke. Really just goes to show how UNCOMFORTABLE and SCARED he is. I physically recoil every time I see this it’s gross

Those flashback scenes were also just so brutal. Like chaining his horns so he’s FORCED to watch is so psychotic I can’t.

its kinda sad that Blitzo’s whole motivation for doing this is to distract himself from his feelings, when that’s what he’s literally forced to confront by Ronaldo.

Love a possession story. I can really appreciate how Millie does not believe Ronaldo for a second, she knows that Blitzo would never think that of her and she trusts him enough to be confident in it. Nice subversion, you go girl.

This was so needlessly brutal and funny, they really went all out with this one

Yeah I think that’s all I wanted to day, just again i loved this one and it was definantly worth the multiple-month wait. Though my Hyperfixation has mostly died im hopeful that it will resurrect soon. We’ll have to wait and see.

[coldzonkprofessorturtle]

An Affair to Remember

Alright, let's get into Affair the Series, which has been giving me brainrot the past few weeks so feels like a good time to get into an analysis of why I find it so fascinating. Eventually I'd love to do a deeper dive into Thai GLs and that industry (that's a whole other thing though) but after having seen my share of them (Gap, Show Me Love, TSOU, The Loyal Pin) I've really found myself falling into the rabbit hole with Affair the Series and the way it depicts friendship, love, and acceptance.

Deep dive below and also thank you gif makers for your work 🙏🏽

(also will go over events from episodes 1-5, so spoilers ahead if not up-to-date)

So first off, I have read the novel, which is the first time I've finished one of those for a GL and quite frankly, the translation wasn't that great but the story still came through. I won't refer to it much and will base this on the show as I think they've done a fantastic job with the adaptation and fingers crossed continue to do so.

Where in most GLs the core conflict is external. The main couple can't be in love typically due to familial/cultural pressure or a man interfering (that still exists to an extent here) the main conflict in Affair is simply that Wan and Pleng love each other too much but they do so in different ways.

When we meet Wan and Pleng they're 17 years old and have spent their entire lives together. They're sisters but not and while Wan seems to have a social circle, Pleng really has no other friends outside of Wan. The spoiled rich girl and the maid's daughter. Couldn't be more different if they tried and yet by circumstance their lives are as intertwined as it gets.

At 17, they have different ideas for their futures. Pleng is musically talented, wins every contest and is financially set. She can live the life she wants. If she wants to be a musician then so be it. Her parents love and support her and there's no pressure. Wan on the other hand has an overbearing mother (and a resentful father), no prospects for her future but at least she has Pleng.

Despite her parents, Wan loves wholly and openly. She knows she loves Pleng and while she doesn't yet know it she does know that Pleng loves her too. I would argue that Wan truly knows herself, which is why she comes across as so self-assured in their younger years. She's slowly trying to guide Pleng to understand herself too.

Pleng, however, has never had to sit with her emotions in the same way. Take this as differences of personality, class and upbringing. Now that they're 17 and entering adulthood, Pleng has to start engaging with the world (and her emotions) rather than hiding behind the rich, insular lifestyle she's had up to this point.

As the idea of boyfriends comes up, Pleng starts to lash out. She's jealous, she's pushy but really she's just in love with her best friend and doesn't know it. Everything starts happening too fast. Wan meets a boy at an art gallery, Aunt Wi pushes Pleng to help Wan get with Ek, Pleng's dad is extremely stressed and she doesn't know to what extent and throughout that Pleng is dealing with her feelings that for some reason just won't go away. Feelings that Wan keeps bringing up in her over and over.

Pleng is a mess. She doesn't know how to connect with her peers, she knows something is wrong with her dad, she sees that Wan is seemingly moving forward in a way that she's not (dating a boy) and whether she realizes it she continues to isolate herself.

From Wan's perspective she couldn't care less about dating Ek. She's already completely devoted to Pleng (in ways that Pleng doesn't even know).

They're 17, hormonal, gay, and incapable of seeing each other's perspective. Wan wants Pleng to let her in. Pleng can't help but push everyone away.

As soon as Pleng starts to really come to terms with her feelings about Wan. That's when everything falls apart. Her dad kills himself, her mom goes into cardiac arrest, all of her family's assets are seized and she's now orphaned and staying with Wan's parents who clearly and vocally have no space for her. Pleng who was already struggling to find her footing before that fateful night now has absolutely nothing to stand on.

The break point is when Pleng finds out about Wan's academic achievements and that Wan had been hiding that truth about herself their entire lives. Wan has always been intelligent and capable but hidden herself behind a veil of ineptitude. Wan in loving Pleng puts her on a pedestal to her own detriment. She has no issue blighting her own light so that Pleng can shine but from the moment we meet 17 year old Pleng in the show we see her pushing Wan to better herself. Wan thinks loving Pleng means her own success doesn't matter whereas Pleng loves Wan and all of her potential.

They both love each selflessly but while Wan would burn the whole world to keep Pleng warm, Pleng loves Wan despite her own existence. So when Pleng leaves she writes,

"Your parents will feel at ease. And you'll finally get to live your life as your true self... I know you love me but I also want you to love yourself. And be proud of who you are."

For Pleng, her leaving is the ultimate way to show her love to Wan. A clean break. She runs away so Wan can thrive but here's the thing Wan needs Pleng to keep her grounded. Pleng does too but she can't see it at this point. Too much has happened and so, in her desperation she removes herself. She is her father's daughter after all.

So when 13 years pass and Wan has spent that entire time holding on to whatever she can to keep herself close to Pleng (becoming a doctor, riding a bike to work, marrying Ek, separating herself from her parents); Pleng has become a ghost of herself. Wan has imbued herself with all the things she thinks/knows Pleng would like while Pleng is stuck in a cycle that she can't get out of: play music, make a bit of money, pay rent, rest, repeat.

Pleng never reaches out to Wan because why would she? Her loving Wan means staying away and on top of that there's a sense of shame of what her life has become.

So when they finally meet again it's too much. Wan is successful but she's still clearly in love with Pleng and while it was all Wan's doing, in a way her success is a direct result of Pleng's influence. In removing herself, Pleng slowly begins to realize not just that she took Wan's smile with her but the why and how. Wan's changed and devoid of the joy and innocence that Pleng loved most.

They slowly fall back into their natural rhythms but Pleng still can't accept her own presence in Wan's life. Wan is back to pushing (albeit more aggressively then before - time was wasted) and in pushing Pleng, Pleng pushes back. If they take their relationship that one step further, what then? What if it falls apart? Why not just stay in a cycle where nothing shifts? What if there's another ringing shot in the distance and everything changes in a moment?

If there's one core trauma to Pleng as a character it's her desperation to not feel like a burden to anyone. Especially Wan. And then she finds out that Wan (though separated) is still married to Ek and she can't accept that she could have ruined Wan's potential happiness. Not understanding that Pleng herself is Wan's happiness. Pleng feels like a disruption because at the root of it the thing she wanted above all for Wan, "I also want you to love yourself. And be proud of who you are" is not something that Pleng accepts for herself.

I'll leave it there and hope the show navigates the situations that are about to come as well as they have so far but kudos as Affair manages to oh so gracefully skirt what could otherwise be an incredibly toxic relationship. Somehow they manage to give these two characters so much grace despite their flaws. And truly that's also a huge credit to Sonya and Lookmhee's abilities.

It's chaotic and messy but in coming back together these two might just realize that's how they both best shine.

[the-irreverend]

This scene right here. THESE. THREE. WORDS. Might just be the best damn scene in all of Star Wars, and I'll tell y'all why!!!

These three simply perfectly capture the paradoxical relationship that the Empire has with power and control as they want those they exploit and abuse to think they have. Because the Empire, LIKE ALL SYSTEMS OF OPPRESSION, is rooted not in strength and excellence but in insecurity, fragility, and inadequacy!

Because every ostentatious display of pride and supremacy, every violent exercise of hatred and fear, every vicious demonstration of cruelty and malice is nothing more than a facade designed to conceal just how fragile and delicate the system really is.

Remember that scene from the Barbie movie where when Ken tells Barbie that he doesn't know who he is without her? THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES HERE! The ultimate lie told by the system is that "we can't lift ourselves up until we put them down"! Because of the way they see it, what's the point of being on top if there's no one beneath them.

Because that's what makes Andor all the more special for me: it takes the gloriously fun anti-fascist extravaganza that we've seen in the original trilogy and beyond and builds on it, and in doing so, gives us something meaningful, poignant and powerful.

Thanks for reading my autistic ass rant!

CAN'T WAIT FOR SEASON 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[5om3ie]

Just got done with the yellow jackets scene where shauna gave birth. Genuinely so sad. It really shows how much pain she went through in those woods, and how that moment specifically STILL affects her. That was the first, and only baby she ever let herself get close too. Even though yes at first and during most if not all of her pregnancy she didn't want him, in her dream she learned to love him, actually felt him, felt the terrifying fear of losing him when he wouldn't feed and she couldn't feed him and then feeling the insane amount of hope when he FINALLY breastfeed. "I can't wait to see the person you turn into" "it's you an me against the world kid". She got the illusion of having her baby just to have it ripped away from her in the worst way possible. To be back on the make shift, dirty birthing table, surrounded by girls who don't know what their doing, being told after everything she believed was true, after all the PAIN she's been through he's gone. When she finally realizes her baby is gone she then lays it to rest, once again repeating the phrase "it's you and me against the world kid". Absolutely devastating.

The way it affects her relationship with callie too in the future, we can see her so clearly keep her away. She refuses to get close because she cannot imagine losing another baby. She admits it several times in the show, but we can so clearly see it when she finds Lotties honey farm retreat thing and she is tasked to take care of the goat. Genuinely such a misunderstood and complicated character

[whoopsies-daisies]

Ok so i noticed that in the last two seasons they really toned down fives unhinged behavior and wild facial expressions and i am not having it. The first two seasons showed an incredible range of intense emotions from five as well as the range of Aidan's acting, which seasond three and four seem to lack. It really feels like they abandoned his character in those seasons too, which many people have pointed out, but it also feels like they abandoned the wild, erratic energy from his character - and we all know that man is off the rails - in favor of making him more attractive. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but i just KNOW they were waiting for Aidan Gallagher to turn 18 so they could give him some kind of creepy barely legal sex appeal, and throw him into a romantic relationship with whoever was closest to him. It was very clear in seasons one and two that five was simultaneously a tired old man and a feral teenager. He acted both of his ages and didn't care how people saw him besides his stoic facade. In the past seasons he just feels like a slightly over mature twenty year old and not actually like an old man, because the viewers wouldn't find that as attractive. this is honestly the best explanation i could find or come up with that would describe the major shift in characterization for five. The writers clearly don't care about the characters anymore, and are just relying on shock value and sex appeal to keep their viewers hooked, which is also how we got that weird little five and lila pairing. They could have just made them grow closer as friends and family members but that wouldn't have had as much shock to it as a both characters abandoning things that were previously so dear to them with no explanation other than "they were lonely and near each other".

Let me know your opinions because I'm honestly at a loss, even here I'm not quite sure what I'm talking about. All i know is, the whole show would have been better off without season four.

[smallfoe]

New video out, if you even care

Actual link: https://youtu.be/xskvNl93sDc

[leikeliscomet]

The overlap in the rise of anti intellectualism with RTD2 in real time has been wild to witness bc just 3 years ago it was common and acceptable to analyse Chibnall Who and pick things apart and now u can't even talk about genocide & redpill commentary bc 'it's camp & fun'

Did some Chibnall antis nitpick a little bit too much? Yeah. Is there a lot of bad faith Chibnall Who crit? Absolutely. But at least there was actual analysis for each episode. At least we could talk good v bad faith criticism now it's just 'it's just a TV show yew guiseeee'

And when people defended Chibnall Who at least there was some attempt at actual arguments. People wrote in detail all the things they loved about it. Almost every pro RTD2 post I get is 'camp' 'fun' & 'it's just a show' on rotation. Nothing of substance at all

Say what you want about the anti Moffat tumblrinas or whatever but at least we had feminist commentary in the fandom. At least people had actual discussions about gender and sexuality in the show. The fandom's critical thinking went missing along with Thirteen's costume

The show is using real life political and social isses for its own benefit, throwing marginalised peoples under the bus but you say that & the stans cry 'its a just a show !1' like this is the exact TV the Doctor would judge the side characters for watching. It's slop.

[biggesthomuradefender]

one thing i feel like some ppl forget, gloss over, or just don’t know abt madoka/madokami, is that her existence as a concept/god is much more than being lonely and unhappy, it also involves a cycle of endless and constant suffering and purification w absolutely no reward outside of saving magical girls from being witches.

let me explain:

when madoka made her wish, aka became a god, she swore to prevent all witches from the past, the present, and the future forever, meaning that madoka is CONSTANTLY sending herself everywhere at once all the time in order to do that, while also having to absorb the negative energy from their gems AND purify it all at the same time.

could you imagine just how absolutely fucking exhausting and lonely that is? not only does no one know or remember her, outside of homura, and she can’t even interact w anybody outside of her role as a savior and a god.

and she constantly has to purify all of the negative energy she absorbs 24/7. is an endless cycle with, as i said before, zero reward except for preventing witches.

there’s a scene in rebellion where madoka reaches for homura, and each time she does, you can see scars littered on her arm (s). not only is that a literal representation of her dying for the “sins”, aka wishes of all magical girls, but i also think that they’re meant to signify madoka’s pain, the pain she hides and lies about behind her god status and her genuine, loving demeanor.

it’s why the flower scene is so important and powerful; yes, it may have been madoka w/o her proper memories intact, but that’s exactly it: madoka is only able to be so honest w homura right then and there bc she doesn’t remember her godly obligations, all of her guilt and responsibilities at all.

and homura knows all of this. it’s why her reaction is so intense, desperate, and painful, esp after her fake world begins to rly fall apart; like madoka, homura very easily blames herself for a lot, even the stuff that isn’t rly her fault and she’s just being unfair/mean to herself.

[ponkydraws]

Johnlock rant pt 2

You thought I was only gonna write Sherlock’s perspective? No. Anyway. John.

Spoilers + suggestive themes ahead.

You have been warned.

John is introduced as a character who has trust issues and is wary of the world, partially because of his PTSD. He is a retired soldier. He has seen it all. But as Mycroft remarks, “you’re not haunted by the war. You miss it.”

There is a very obvious difference in John’s reaction to Sherlock’s deduction and Mycroft’s deduction. He’s star struck when Sherlock does it, but when Mycroft does the same thing he glares at him and asks “who the hell are you?” Yes, the circumstances of the scenes obviously affect his reactions, but even with a dead woman on the ground in front of him he can’t help but praise Sherlock’s intellect, so clearly discomfort isn’t much of a factor. You could argue that John is being defensive on account of being scared, but Mycroft outwardly tells John “you don’t seem very afraid” and John simply says “you don’t seem very frightening”.

And to add onto this, Mycroft clearly has suspicions about their relationship and outwardly says so. John simply says “I barely know him, I met him…yesterday” and Mycroft says “Mm, and since yesterday you’ve moved in with him and now you’re solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?” John doesn’t respond nor acknowledge the question, but asks “who are you?”. Mycroft simply assumes that the man Sherlock is living with is a romantic and/or sexual partner, meaning he’s not surprised at all by the idea that Sherlock would be in a relationship with a man.

When John asks what he wants he says that he wants information about Sherlock, but quickly adds “nothing indiscreet. Nothing you’d feel…uncomfortable with. Just tell me what he’s up to.” Which does sound like a polite way of saying that he doesn’t want nor need to know about what he gets up to behind closed doors (presumably with John, since he says nothing that JOHN would be uncomfortable with telling, not Sherlock), he just wants to check on how his brother is doing. The definition for indiscreet also is “having, showing, or proceeding from too great a readiness to reveal things that should remain private or secret” so I think it speaks for itself what he’s implying. He’s just an older brother who wants to make sure his younger brother is okay, but makes sure to inform John that he’s not interested in hearing about Sherlock’s sex life.

Other than that, Mycroft seems to genuinely like and respect John. He bids him farewell when leaving, asks him about his life, even if it’s just “what’s it like living with Sherlock?” And Mycroft clearly knows how much John means to Sherlock. They have this semi-brother in law situation going on

John has on multiple occasions risked his own life to save Sherlock’s. When Moriarty is threatening Sherlock, he throws himself at Moriarty and tells Sherlock to run. This is despite the knowledge that this would get himself killed & “if your sniper pulls that trigger, Mr Moriarty, then we both go up” and Moriarty mainly shows amusement, but still tells Sherlock “isn’t he sweet? I can tell why you like having him around.”

In the final problem, John agrees quite quickly that Sherlock should shoot him instead of Mycroft and takes it with stride. He does not fight it. He accepts that he has to die in order for Sherlock to live.

In the very first episode - I repeat - the very first episode, John shoots a man to death because Sherlock was in danger. What’s so interesting about this whole scene is that Sherlock was not under direct threat, he was choosing to take one of the pills but John shot the man anyway.

- Sherlock also realizes halfway through his deduction to the police that John is the one who shot the cabbie, and immediately takes back what he said about the murderer to keep John out of trouble. He does not care about John killing a man, he’s more worried about John’s well being. He even compliments him on the aim and the two of them walk away from the crime scene giggling like 12 year old girls.

John dates a string of women throughout the show although they always end up in some kind of bad ending. As stated in the previous rant, John’s girlfriends are sick of being less important than Sherlock. And if you’re really keen on details (which, you’re watching Sherlock, of course you are) you’ll find that one of the women he dates wears a coat that resembles Sherlock’s, and she pulls her collar up in the same way Sherlock does. Subconscious attraction? Neither does he actually find a long term relationship until he believes that Sherlock is DEAD, and it takes him 2 whole years to even try to move on with his life (but only needed 2 months for Mary’s passing?)

Now, John is a jealous and protective man. Even more outwardly so than Sherlock is. Mycroft even comments on it when they meet for the very first time - “you are VERY loyal, VERY quickly.” he notes as he makes a face that implies even he is surprised about how sure John is of his decision. When faced with a naked Irene Adler and Sherlock in the same room, he actively interrupts their conversation to get in the way. He passively aggressively tells Irene to put some clothes on and then remains skeptical of her for the entire episode. When they’re talking another time he also interrupts and making an unamused joke about baby names.

He displays a sense of protective behavior when he meets Irene again after Sherlock’s alleged “heartbreak” and gets outright mad at her for treating him like that. He even shouts at her despite Irene not showing any aggressive behavior “WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY SAY? YOU’VE TEXTED HIM A LOT”. Speaking of the texts from Irene, John not only is the only one to point out the text notification noise but also admits to actively counting the amount of messages Sherlock has received, which, yeah a handful would’ve been acceptable but this man kept track of 57 NOTIFICATIONS on a phone that’s not his. (This isn’t really a real point but someone joked about how Sherlock asks John “what noise?” When John addresses the moaning text notifications despite knowing very well what noise he’s talking about, as if he’s expecting him to repeat it or something. Not really relevant but it made me laugh)

In this conversation with Irene, he admits to having no clue what Sherlock’s sexuality is, quote: “who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes, but, for the record, if anyone out there still cares, I’m not actually gay”. Irene responds with “well I am. Look at us both”. Which earns a defeated scoff from John. Irene asks John if he’s jealous about her texting Sherlock so much, John does not answer the question but tells her “we’re not a couple” to which Irene immediately says “yes you are” without even looking up at him. John does not fight back, but makes a vague nod and leaves it at that.

John repeatedly tells various characters that he is not gay - but only that. He never says that he’s not attracted to men, he’s not attracted to Sherlock or anything like that. No. He just says he’s not gay. Bisexuality is a thing. He could very well be a closeted bisexual who struggles a little with accepting it. It’s possible that his lesbian sister wasn’t treated with respect by the family and that has caused some inner turmoil, but that’s a fan theory we’re not going to get into right now

John also seems to be the only one thinking about how gay they look in certain situations. After saving John’s life, John says “I’m glad nobody saw that. You…ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool, people might talk.” As if he didn’t almost just literally explode. A near death experience leaving him weak in the knees and he’s thinking about how people will think he and Sherlock were getting it on in a darkened swimming pool? Okay, buddy. This also goes for when they’re running from the police handcuffed to each other and Sherlock tells John “take my hand!” To which John says “now they’ll definitely talk.” I would argue that if you are constantly thinking about how gay certain things you do with your best friend are and how people will talk, maybe people aren’t the ones who should reevaluate themselves, maybe you are, seeing as you’re having gay thoughts even when fearing for your own life.

Oh and we haven’t even gotten into the pool scene. I don’t know if it was accidental but when Sherlock undoes John’s jacket to get rid of the bombs, he gets on his knees in front of John - who leans his head backwards as Sherlock looks up at him. Then afterward he’s so visibly weak in the knees he has to sit down to even talk. All of this is filmed from behind Sherlock. They could’ve filmed it in any other way. But that’s what they chose? Okay. Totally doesn’t remind me of anything else or anything.

When Sherlock is pretending to be dating Janine, John seems so genuinely out of it. He watches Sherlock and Janine make out with widened eyes, before turning around to stare at the wall with a disgusted and horrified expression on his face. He can’t even pretend to not be shocked, he barely manages to keep himself together and is outwardly very awkward when talking to them. Janine offers that they should have dinner together sometime soon and John just goes “yeah, great. Dinner. Yeah.” With a halfassed smile on his face as if he can’t bring himself to even mimic regular conversation. Once Janine has left, Sherlock starts talking to John about a case. John is not listening. When Sherlock stops talking John just goes “…you have a girlfriend?” And Sherlock seems surprised and confused by the question, since he had already moved on from that conversation. Sherlock confirms that yes, he does have a girlfriend. John still can’t properly process the information and asks again “right, yeah, but…you…you are in a relationship?” Despite already being told the answer.

When Sherlock proposes to Janine, John looks shocked. But it morphs into something else. He looks at Sherlock with a horrified expression, his eyebrows furrowed together in disbelief and his mouth hanging slightly open. This is not the face of someone who is shocked in a good way. It’s the face of someone who just got a metaphorical gut punch. The camera even shifts focus from the ring to John staring at it with a hardened expression, then to staring at Sherlock with a shocked and mildly pleading look.

He also punches an officer in the face for calling Sherlock a “weirdo”. When Sherlock hands him an itemized list of Mary’s enemies he doesn’t even look twice but one vague insult to Sherlock and he gives the man a bloody nose and gets arrested as well - Sherlock taunts him a little with his “joining me?” Comment but seems genuinely a little impressed when he finds out why John is also being taken into custody.

When getting drunk together (which, Sherlock was the only one who John spent his bachelor party with), they get wasted and start to play a game of Who Am I? They’re weirdly gentle and soft with each other, making playful jabs and breaking down into laughter at each other’s statements. Sherlock, who has a note on his forehead that says “Sherlock Holmes”, asks John “am I important?” To which John responds “uh, to some people” and smiles. Sherlock asks “do people like me?” And John says “uh, no, they don’t. You tend to rub them up the wrong way.” And then rests his head on his hand while he lovingly gazes at Sherlock and chuckles at his own statement with a look of love that looks like one you’d give a lover when they’re being cute. John asks Sherlock “am I pretty?” And then follows up with “this” and points to the note on his forehead. Basically this is John asking if he’s pretty, then having to specify that he meant the person Sherlock picked, and not actually himself, as if he was expecting Sherlock to call him pretty without understanding the question was meant for the game. Sherlock does not answer the question, but rather goes on a drunken mini rant about how beauty is a social construct based on culture and John interrupts him saying “yeah, but, am I a pretty lady?”

Sherlock remains quiet, squints at John’s note and then admits “I have no idea who you’re supposed to be”. John rolls his eyes and tells him “you chose the name!” But isn’t genuinely upset, just amused. With his drunken stumbling, he also loses his balance when shifting his sitting position and grabs onto Sherlock’s leg for support. Sherlock doesn’t react. The two of them later fall asleep next to each other on the bottom of the stairs, babbling about nonsense. Mind you, John couldn’t sleep comfortably in a warm bed next to Mary, but had no trouble finding peace when laying down on the fucking stairs next to Sherlock.

During this same evening, John has to interfere and physically drag Sherlock away from a drunk fight at the pub. Same goes for when Sherlock is drugged by Irene, where John comes into the room and promptly grabs ahold of Sherlock and pushes him back onto the bed telling him “I’ll be in the next room if you need me” Sherlock groggily replies with “why would I need you?” And John simply says “no reason” and shuts the door.

Oh also John and Sherlock got locked up together in the same drunk tank. How cute is that?

And oh my god the fucking sexual tension between these two makes me feel like I’m interrupting something intimate. Even in the first episode, Sherlock asks John if he’d seen a lot of violent death. John goes “yeah, plenty. Far too much. For a lifetime.” And when Sherlock then asks “would you like to see some more?” John replies with a breathless “oh god, yes.” The same tone can be detected in the 1800s episode an exchange between Sherlock and John, where John tells Sherlock “ah, ah, ah, Holmes, you have misdiagnosed”. Sherlock lowly says “then correct me, doctor” and gives him such obvious “fuck me” eyes that I felt embarrassed watching the scene with my dad. The episode also includes John asking about Sherlock’s libido - no - I am not joking. And here’s the kicker. None of this is real, it’s all happening inside of Sherlock’s subconscious. So my question is, why does Sherlock’s subconscious make up scenes where his platonic best friend is asking him about certain urges and speaking to him with a flirty tone?

John also has a habit of letting his eyes drop to Sherlock’s lips when talking to him, or straight up licking his lips when Sherlock reveals he’s single (in the pilot). They look into each other’s eyes for just a littleeee too long for it to feel friendly.

This is just me being a little bit of an annoying fan who misinterprets everything but Eurus asks Sherlock to play the violin for her. He does, but she stops him saying “no, not Bach. Play you.” And Sherlock starts playing another tune. She blurts out “oh! Have you had sex?” And Sherlock simply goes “why do you ask?” Again, not answering the question. Obviously that question is a bit strange to ask your older brother when you haven’t even seen him since the two of you were little kids and he doesn’t remember you exist, but, once again he doesn’t feel the need to confirm or deny. I see a lot of people saying this is a hint to Irene, and it probably is, but I personally find it more likely he’d hypothetically find time to get into…adult contact…with someone he lives with. But that’s sidetracking. Anyway.

[grayy-dayy]

Something I don't see people talking about with season 2 of Squid Game are the elements of addiction. Obviously the shows main themes is the evils of Capitalism, but no one is talking about the consequential addiction to risk!

It's been long since I've watched the first season, but if I recall correctly, the salesman bitchslaps Gi-hun a good couple of times before he wins. Despite getting hurt and knowing he could continue to get hurt, the possibility of getting the money was worth the risk. Same with the people who returned to the games after the vote to leave. They knew they could be killed, but the financial opportunity was too good to pass up. Although addiction doesn't play much of a role in these examples, they are more led by desperation and lack of opportunity.

But later in season 2 in "Bread and Lottery," we see the salesman approach various homeless people with a role of bread and a lottery ticket, making them choose between the two. Only one person in that scene chooses the bread over the lottery ticket, and we see another drinking right before choosing. This scene felt a little unfair to me (everything in this show is unfair but still) because these are all people very obviously struggling and haven't made the best decisions. Again, one of them drank before choosing.

Throughout season 2, the players are given the chance to leave after each game. Despite the safer option of leaving with a little bit of money being right there for them, the opportunity to get even more too good to them. While I personally haven't suffered from any diagnosed addiction, the genes run in both sides of my family, and I have struggled with disordered eating all my life. The title for s2 ep5 "One More Game" felt very personal to me because that phrase was an addiction mentality that I struggle with; one more slice, one more bowl, one more game...

I wouldn't be surprised if some of the players' votes were dictated more by the dopamine rush than the money...

[maximuslucy]

minor yellowjackets spoilers below the cut

this might be an unpopular/rare take but i feel like a really fun and interesting way to consume this show is to villainize the women. the men are mostly fringed from the narrative, which gives the yellowjackets so much space in the story, and they don’t waste any of it. no, you’re not forgetting that the girls were victims first. no, you’re not disregarding the fact that none of them deserved to be on that plane when it went down; however, at least in my opinion, my viewing experience has been enriched by allowing myself to be completely endeared or frustrated by a particular character.

and that’s the point of the show! a lot of people reduce it to the joke about picking your favorite cannibal and shutting up, but the more evocative your reactions to the show are, the more they succeed at making it memorable. this show is packed heavily with so many human, uncomfortable themes. self-destruction, self-hatred, desperation, and the summation of girlhood turned into godhood. none of the yellowjackets wanted to become the people they are and those people are not fully good! more often than not, they lean towards being fully bad, and that’s okay.

it’s okay to acknowledge that because that’s what the essence of yellowjackets is. trauma, an unspeakable situation that reduced the girls to their self-preserving instincts, and those who made it to the rescue emerged as women forged by the worst period of their lives. the compromise of their morals and their friendships, their imitation of community and structure to combat the fact that at the end of the day they are hungry, are all things that make this show so brilliant. so when i say villainize, i mean to feel that frustration! pick your favorite cannibal and your least favorite! this isn’t a show about morality, it’s a show about the facets of humanity. it’s about the cycles of trauma, anger, and doomed people within doomed narratives they’ve been forced to keep writing because of the weight of the wilderness!

it’s a show that tests the empathy of the characters within the narrative and those watching it! we can consume these characters and their journeys without pledging our lives to them or we can because that’s what this story wants to leave with us. the immersion and questions of if an indescribable circumstance would bring the worst out of us as the viewer. there’s no wrong way to react to shauna taking a bite out of melissa’s arm and forcing her to eat it in the adult timeline!! that is fucking bonkers and that is okay!!

there’s no wrong or right way to enjoy these characters!! no matter who your favorites are and no matter how casual or serious your personal viewing experience is, i’d recommend going into this show with the inevitability of frustration in mind. get to the root of that frustration and appreciate the characters for being multifaceted enough that you can feel a mosaic of emotions based on their actions and self-realizations. that’s one of the strongest elements of yellowjackets in its entirety!! escapism and catharsis!!

[pendragonsclotpole]

help, i just got slapped in the face with the existence of WILL. be still my beating heart as i write an essay on this man, will of ealdor

firstly, i adore the silent and implicit trust hidden in the first joke that introduces will’s character. like merlin’s been aware his whole life that if his secret is ever found out, he will be hunted down and persecuted, but here comes will with a jab that they both inherently understand is a joke in the macabre style only true friends can lovingly master. the smile they share almost immediately gives me ned stark and robert baratheon meeting again in the courtyard of winterfell in season one of got. there’s also something so normal in their interaction that speaks of a familiarity borne from their equal status and years of friendship. i know merlin’s friends in camelot tend to skew to the non-royal/non-noble, but when you tally it up, those closest to merlin often hold some title that’s greater than merlin’s role as arthur’s servant. gwaine is a knight implied to be of noble blood; lancelot, percival, and elyan are also knighted and esteemed members of arthur’s court; gwen is the lady morgana’s maid and close companion long before she is ever queen; gaius is a physician and long time member of camelot’s court; morgana before her betrayal is literally uther’s ward. i feel like when placed among them all, merlin has a tendency to fade into the background offscreen. obviously the audience knows how important merlin is to the overall story given how much of the storyline focuses on him, and the characters regularly acknowledge merlin’s importance to them or arthur, but all of them still regard merlin as merlin the servant from camelot and few of them are privy to the plots we as the audience see firsthand. and even when they acknowledge him for his merits, his role as arthur’s close friend and confidante takes precedence. look at leon’s reaction in the later seasons when merlin is bewitched by morgana. merlin literally makes a comment about plotting to kill arthur and leon barely even blinks before quipping back, “driving you mad isn’t he?” or something along those lines. except for a few instances with even fewer characters, they never get a chance to know him as merlin the sorcerer from ealdor.

will does! and more than that, he got to know merlin as he is without arthur. we all hype up their status as magical soulmates but damn if i wasnt living for how jealous of arthur will seemed to be in this episode. call me crazy, but it makes me desperately headcanon a realistic past in ealdor for merlin, full of hardship and strife, but never without it’s moments of happiness. furthermore, will’s lone appearance in season one shines some real light on the unfairness of the fate that has been bestowed on meelin. the moment that will points out why he’s been so obstinate with arthur really strikes a deep chord. sure it could be just jealousy, but more compellingly, i choose to read it as a deep sense of care for merlin. everyone merlin has met within camelot, (or reunited with in the case of his own mother) has continually pushed him closer and closer to arthur. will presents a crucial exception. he knows exactly who merlin was before camelot, and who merlin is completely separate from arthur.

will is staunchly in merlin’s corner, and that position allows him to identify a key characteristic of merlin’s series’ long arc: his complete devotion to arthur. will even points it out himself: merlin could singlehandedly defend their home if he just used the full extent of his power. merlin doesn’t, and actively chooses not to because of his desire to stay close to arthur. it’s such a small moment, but i think it demonstrates how much of merlin’s decisions become motivated by his desire to stay close to arthur and to always put arthur first, even at a detrimental cost to himself. merlin understands and readily accepts arthur as his destiny, but this acceptance does not come about independently, instantly, or of merlin’s own volition. it does so eventually, but initially merlin sticks by arthur’s side because of the encouragement of everyone around him. “arthur needs you, merlin” or “arthur is your destiny, merlin” or “arthur is a good man, merlin. he has the potential to be a great king, he just needs the right people, merlin.” its codependent as hell.

sure, merlin originally does not tell arthur about his magic because they do not know each other and as far as merlin knows revealing his magic would lead to his death, but eventually the reasoning changes and becomes so focused on doing what’s best for arthur. merlin can’t tell arthur because then arthur would have to kill him and then who would look after arthur or ensure his fate? merlin can’t tell arthur because if arthur chooses to defy uther’s law, merlin is then forcing arthur to turn against his father and how could he look after arthur then? merlin can’t tell arthur because another betrayal from magic would ruin everything and truthfully, he wonders how would arthur react? merlin comes to fear what his magic might do to arthur and what it’s reveal might mean for his place in camelot more than the laws of camelot and their verdicts.

by this logic, merlin is a magical solar system orbiting entirely around the celestial body known as arthur pendragon. eventually merlin cared more about his relationship with arthur and what arthur thought about him than his own life. in retrospect, it’s so sad that will died so early on, because it strips merlin of a person solely in his corner. will’s death is the first in the series’ long pattern of loss that merlin endures and that eventually comes to define him because people either find out about his magic and their knowledge is directly tested against his loyalty to arthur, or he cannot allow them to know about his magic because it will unravel his relationship with arthur.

will, freya, balinor, morgana, mordred, arthur.

also the fact that will covered for merlin’s use of magic in his last moments just adds to the tragedy AND the growing pile of moments merlin could have told arthur about his magic but didnt. and also the fact that will literally died to save arthur. like tell me that just doesn’t prove my point. tell me. will never stood a chance. tell me every aspect of merlin’s life does not get consumed by arthur pendragon.

i’m all for merthur being soulmates, but god the original series is rife with the unbalanced mess of merlin being wholeheartedly aware of arthur’s great potential and destiny leading to some intense devotion and faith that yes, arthur earns and pays back in full measure but can never fully reciprocate because he just does not know anything. by the triple goddess, it can get so toxic. i wish will had lived if just for that. and like the jealousy arthur gets whenever merlin has other people. because i 100% live for possessive arthur and protective merlin dynamics.

[sapphic-bf]

the urge to make an analysis on vi & her trauma-caused codependency (which also directly ties into her tendency to fall into the cycle of relationships that are harmful & abusive to her) bc oh, my god.

oh. my god. i feel like there is sm to say that i legit haven’t ever seen anyone else say.