#Shovel talk

[weird-an]

Hopper knew something had been going on.

"So, what's goin' on here?"

Billy's face glows red in the dim light. The Harrington kid at least has the decency to look vaguely guilty.

"Chief, it's not what you think-" Billy sounds strangled and Jim hates it. Billy sleeps on his couch for fuck's sake and he thought Billy stopped being scared.

"So, you're not suckin' each other's faces?"

Billy's eyes are wide and scared, but he still mumbles something "not only that", while Harrington looks as pale as a ghost.

"You," Jim points at Steve. He knows Steve fought monsters with them, but he also knows he's a spoiled rich kid. "What are your intentions with my kid?"

Billy's jaw crashes down and maybe it's finally the right time for Jim's whole "we are a family and your dad can fuck off" speech he has practiced in front of Joyce.

"I-" Steve gasps, hand grabbing Billy's. "I- I like him. A lot."

Billy stares at Steve like he has hung the moon. Well, shit. Jim remembers being a teenager and wearing heart shaped glasses. Steve better puts in some effort.

"You better take him to dinner," Jim grunts.

Billy gapes at him.

"Yes, Jim," Steve mumbles, a bit too amused for Jim's taste.

"Treat him right or I'll arrest you," Jim threatens.

Billy grins at Steve like a shark. Maybe Jim shouldn't overdo it.

"Same for you," he tells Billy.

"Yes, Sir," Billy says. He won't stop smiling.

"Use protection," Jim adds.

"Jesus H Christ," Billy groans while Steve cringes and nods at the same time.

Jim is enjoying this more than he should. If Harrington behaves himself, it could be good for Billy.

[parrishjeanna]

OMFG!!!! The sass!!! Why was this cut? I love it. He so rose to the occasion. 🤣 The, I’m just trying to keep up. 💀🫠

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[chickennuggetl4dy]

They just wanna talk.. :)

*at Camp Jupiter*

*Nico with Reyna, Hazel & Jason (bc he is NOT dead)* Hazel: So nico, anything interesting happen at Camp Half-Blood?

Jason: Yeah, we haven’t visited in a while…?

Nico: Well, um- I have a boyfriend now?

Others: …

Nico: Why are you guys so quie- where did that shovel come from.

[guess1mjustheren0w]

Dick: If you hurt him or break his heart I will fucking end you. You hear me? They will never find your body? Nah they won't stop finding the pieces. Do not hurt him or else...

Jason: *shivers* Okay I won't. BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING *ME* THE SHOVEL TALK??!!? I'M YOUR BROTHER!!!

Dick: Did I stutter?

Roy: Aww thanks Dick! It's so nice to know you care

Jason: Can be go back to the fact -he gave ME THE SHOVEL TALK?!?!? NOT YOU?!?!? I'M HIS BROTHER!?!?

Dick: Exactly

[roosterbox]

Had an idea. Writing it down so my brain can shut up about it.

When Steve and Eddie get together, there are several shovel talks to be had. Six, in fact.

First is Robin. Which, yeah, makes sense.

Then Dustin. Again, yeah.

Then Nancy? A little weird, but okay.

Then Hopper.

Then Joyce of all people, which somehow ends up being more intimidating than Hop.

And last but not least, Wayne.

Each one carries it’s own unique flavor of “hurt him and they’ll never find your body.”

Bonus: All of these? Directed at Eddie. Even Wayne’s.

Eddie:

[artiststarme]

Wayne's Unspoken Shovel Talk

I keep seeing shovel talk fics on my dash so I figured I would throw my hat in the ring! It’s short and I don’t love it but here we go.

~*~*~*~

Wayne liked to think that he and the Harrington kid had an unspoken understanding. If Steve hurt Eddie in any way, shape, or form, Wayne was going to kill him. Sure, he hadn’t said it in so many words, in any words in fact. However, he knew it was heavily implied through his cautious glares and thinly veiled interrogations. He may not have given him a shovel talk but that was only because Eddie had threatened to stop buying coffee for the trailer if he did.

He and Steve might watch the game together every Sunday. Hell, Wayne even dropped lunch off to the kid on the days Eddie worked at the garage and Steve left his food in the fridge. But, it was well-known to everyone that he would always be in Eddie’s corner before anyone else’s. He might approve of the Harrington boy dating his nephew but he’d gut him like a fish if he made Eddie shed a single tear.

So, when Eddie comes home crying one day, Wayne doesn’t even think before he’s pulling on his work boots and grabbing his shotgun.

He hardly makes eye contact with Eddie as he brushes past him on his way to his truck. He only stopped when a hand grabbed his elbow and turned him around to look a heavily upset Eddie in the eye.

“Wha- Wayne. Where are you going?” Eddie asked him in utter confusion.

“I’m ‘bout to go show your boy what happens when he makes ya cry.”

“What? I’m not crying because of Steve.”

That made Wayne pause. He hadn’t even thought to consider another possibility. Eddie had said that he was going to see Steve today and he assumed that the Harrington boy had hurt his nephew.

“What is it then?”

Tears started to form in Eddie’s eyes again which filled him with alarm. How bad was it if he was starting to cry again?

“I saw a dead dog on my way to Family Video. Someone hit it and just left it there on the side of the road! I stopped and tried to help it but it was already dead. An innocent animal! Maybe someone’s pet and they just left it there!” Eddie cried theatrically.

Wayne was well acquainted with his nephew’s dramatics. His alarmed concern evaporated as he pulled Eddie in for a hug. His nephew always was a bit sensitive. Wayne had learnt a long time ago that the best route to take in this situation would be a listening ear and a warm hug, maybe a pat on the head or two if the circumstance arose.

“It’s alright kid, you leave it there? We could take it to the woods and dig it a grave. Would that make you feel better?”

Eddie nodded before his gaze narrowed. “Wait a second. Why’d you have your shotgun if you were going to talk to Steve?”

“I thought he hurt ya,” Wayne shrugged.

“So you were going to shoot him! No Wayne! You can’t just shoot people that upset me, you’d kill the whole goddamn town. Next time, talk to me first. And no guns!” Eddie ranted, waving his hands around passionately.

“Hey, your boy knows what he’s getting himself into! If he hurts ya, he’ll be looking down the barrel of my shotgun. End of.” He wouldn’t be the first Munson to go to prison but he would be the last.

“Jesus Christ, Uncle Wayne. Please don’t.”

“Well, if he don’t hurt ya, things’ll be fine. He better keep his ass in line. Now go get a shovel, we gotta grave to bury.”

Eddie looked impressively distressed at his words before Wayne rolled his eyes and clarified, “for the dog. Go.”

And so the Harrington kid lives for another day.

@doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @trippypancakes @straight4joekeery

[skrunklydoo]

scene: cole introduces geo to his dad (lou)

cole: my father can be a bit… overprotective. if he gives you the shovel talk, he probably means it. let’s be honest.

geo: got it.

they walk into the room where lou is

cole: dad, this is my boyfriend, geo-

lou immediately pulls geo aside

lou: i swear to the FSM if you ever hurt my son i will f- i will murder you-

lou’s giving geo the talk for like five minutes straight

lou, panting after he’s done: you got that?

geo: 😀👍 yep yep i got it

lou: thanks.

lou leaves

geo: your dad’s insane

cole: yeah i know

[tfwstherapist]

was thinking of bruce giving the shovel talk. now, ignoring that this wouldn’t really happen, given that he trusts his children to be responsible for their own choices in partners, it would be interesting.

obviously, this wouldn’t work with anyone who’s also a vigilante, because they already know he’s batman. batman doesn’t have to give a shovel talk- that’s already implied. everyone knows what batman is capable of, and maybe he has a no-kill rule, but that doesn’t make him any less terrifying as an individual or any less hellbent on protecting his family. he’d never say a word- it would simply be an unspoken fact.

but BRUCE WAYNE giving a shovel talk if one of his kids brought home a civilian? now that would be hilarious.

imagine you walk into this beautiful house, and you’re meeting your partner’s father, and it’s sociable, charitable, smiling, sparkly, rich playboy bruce wayne. so you’re not really scared, because that guys just gave an interview at the local animal shelter, and you’re pretty sure you read somewhere that he tips waiters in hundreds instead of ones.

he greets you with a warm handshake and a charming smile, and then asks your partner if they’ve tried alfred’s latest baked goods, and oh, they should go get some from the kitchen and bring a tray back.

and then he turns and those pretty blue eyes look at you with the intensity of a steel blade, cold and absolute, and calmly, politely informs you that he loves his children very, very much, and he’s so glad they’ve brought someone home who values them as much as he does, because he truly would hate to see them hurt.

and you’re scared shitless because billionaire bruce wayne suddenly looks a foot taller and a whole lot more imposing with that gleam in his eyes, and it’s worse because it vanishes back into that easy smile the second your partner comes back into the room and he’s taking a cookie and somehow spilling milk on himself and laughing about being clumsy while you’re still processing the two versions of your partner’s dad and what you’re mostly sure was a thinly veiled threat.

[envysparkler]

Trick or treat! Love your writing!

Roy fidgeted with his coffee, glancing at the barista, at the menu, outside the glass walls to the gloomy Gotham winter, at the cute, coffee-themed centerpieces on the table, and, in short, everything that wasn't Dick.

Dick smiled.

Roy flinched, even though he wasn't looking in Dick's direction, and Dick's smile grew teeth. He wrestled them away, because he wasn't actually trying to terrify his old friend. At least not yet.

Roy did not look appeased.

"So," he said finally, when he realized Dick wasn't going to break the silence. Dick was the one who'd run into him stumbling out of his little brother's apartment covered in hickeys, Dick was allowed to wait him out. "How--how have you been?"

"Fantastic," Dick answered, taking a sip of his latte. "What brings you to Gotham?"

Roy winced. For a moment, Dick wondered if he was going to stutter out an excuse and flee--but Arsenal was made of stronger stuff than that.

"I was working a case with Jason," Roy said evenly.

"'Working a case'," Dick repeated lightly. "Is that what the kids call it these days?"

Roy winced again. Subtle jab about the age difference, successful.

"Look, man, I know he's your little brother, but Jay can take care of himself! Also, this is totally discrimination, how come you're giving a shovel talk to me and not Kori?"

Dick did not raise his eyebrows though he very much wanted to. Roy and Kori? He didn't know whether to be offended or impressed. Even he hadn't had the balls to go for both of them at once.

"Who said this was a shovel talk?" Dick took another sip to hide his growing smile.

"You practically dragged me to this coffee shop for an interrogation--"

"I just wanted to catch up--"

"--and I don't care what you say, if Jason wants me to leave, he'll tell me, so I won't take any of your bullshit--"

"I literally didn't say anything--"

"--and I really like him, and Kori too, so I'm not giving them up for anyone or anything!" Roy ended on a defiant shout.

Dick studied him. His cheeks were red, but his eyes were determined. Dick knew just how stubborn Roy could be when he set his mind to something, and it seemed like the full force of his protection now rested on Jay.

Dick took another sip. "I'm happy for you," he said when he could open his mouth without laughing.

"I don't care--what?" Roy looked dumbfounded. "You what?"

"You're one of my oldest friends," Dick finally gave into the chuckle. "I'm thrilled that you're happy, and that Jason is too. And Kori." Roy narrowed his eyes. "I don't know why you thought this was a shovel talk."

Roy squinted suspiciously. "Because you Bats are the most overprotective fuckers on the planet."

Dick widened his eyes in his best approximation of an innocent look. Roy, after years on the Titans, was unfortunately immune.

"I know you're up to something," he growled.

"I'm just enjoying a coffee with an old friend, who I recently discovered is dating my little brother," Dick said serenely. "I have no ulterior motives here."

Roy hmphed.

Dick hid his smile again and leaned across the table, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Because when Batman finds out you've been working in his city and defiling his favorite, precious, innocent child..."

Roy went gray, face washing out underneath his freckles.

"...well, it was good to catch up while we could," Dick finishes his coffee and stands up. "Best of luck, Arsenal."

[gen-z-ninja]

The LEGO Ninjago Movie | Secret Identities | Secret Ninja Force | Shovel Talks | 5+1 Things | Misunderstandings |

Five Times Everyone Thought The Green Ninja Was Dating Lloyd Garmadon by Anonymous

and the one time he proved that they weren't.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

My day has been made 🥰 between "I'm just trying to keep up" and "God I hope so" we already has a great idea of how this is going. Did you see the new take from BOBs now? Bobby may approve but Henren don't...are you serious? They were being protective 🤦‍♀️

[dragonflylady77]

what are your intentions with my brother?

Rating: G | 1623 words | shovel talk

A3 - dare romance for @harringrovesummerbingo

Read on Ao3

Summary:

Max gives Steve the shovel talk

Steve knocked on the door and let himself in, like Max had instructed him to. He followed the voices and excited squeals to the kitchen.

“ Dad! ” Rosie screeched when she saw him, jumping off her chair and running into his waiting arms.

“Hello, princess. Did you have fun at Disneyland?” As much as Steve had enjoyed his child free weekend with Billy, he’d also missed his daughter.

“We saw Tiana and Merida and Buzz Lightyear, Dad, it was so amazing!” 

Steve walked to the table and deposited her back in her chair next to her friend.

“Ladies,” Steve said with a nod to Max and Roscoe, who was busy putting the final touches to what looked like an overly decorated cupcake.

“Hey, Steve. Coffee?” Max offered, getting up to make him one when Steve nodded.

The two little girls excitedly told him all about their fun weekend in Anaheim while they demolished their cupcakes and Max cleaned up the colorful mess of frosting and sprinkles covering the table.

“Roscoe, sweetie, why don’t you and Rosie go wash your hands then she can help you make sure your room is nice and tidy?”

“Okay, Mummy. Come on, Rosie.” 

The two girls left hand in hand, whispering to each other and Steve was pretty sure he heard something about a Prince William and a King.

“We need to talk.”

Steve turned back to Max, who was looking straight at him with a rather serious look on her face, the likes of which he hadn’t seen directed at him before.

“Um, yeah, sure, what’s up?” he replied, trying not to squirm. He hoped Rosie had been good for the Sinclairs, though he was pretty sure that was the case.

“I wanted to know what your intentions are with my brother.”

“My intent—what is this, the Middle Ages? We’re… friends,” Steve said, wondering how much Max knew and what she’d heard from Billy. He wasn’t sure how close the siblings were.

“Don’t feed me this bullshit, Steve. You’re more than friends and you know it.”

“Well, yes, okay, we’ve gone on a few dates and had, um, sleepovers, but I fail to see how it’s any of your business.” 

“Steve… you’re not as good at hiding your hook-ups with my brother from your child as you think you are.”

“What the fuck, Max?”

“Remember when I took them to the beach the other week?”

Steve nodded. He’d been so relieved when Max had offered to take Rosie after school and keep her until dinner time while he was stuck at school meeting with students and their parents.

“They built a sandcastle and then had a whole story going about Prince William and the King getting married.”

“Wh-what?”

“They know, Steve.”

“But… how?” Steve was in shock. He’d been so careful to keep his interactions with Billy separate from Rosie. Fuck .

Max shrugged. “I don’t know how, but they do. I need to know what your end game is, because I love my brother and he deserves better than some rushed trysts in a dark cupboard.”

“We…” Steve cleared his throat. “We agreed that it was better to keep things casual, and, um, see each other when Rosie was not home.”

“Steve, I like you, you’re a great dad and a good friend, but I know my brother and he doesn’t have a casual bone in his body. So you need to decide how you feel about him, and do the right thing.”

“And what would that be?” Steve was getting pissed off by Max’s interest in his sex life. “You know, he told me about what you apparently refer to as his ‘slut era’, so I’m not sure why you suddenly care.”

“Okay, that was completely different. Not sure how much he told you, but he was with Derek for four years. They were talking about getting married and finding a surrogate. They were looking at buying a fucking house together, Steve, then one day, Billy came home to find the douchebag in bed with their realtor, Stacey.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Apparently it’d been going for some time. Later, Billy found out that the bitch was pregnant.”

“What the fuck?!”

Max got herself a beer from the fridge, offering one to Steve who declined. He was trying to wrap his head around the bomb that Max had just dropped. While Billy had briefly mentioned the relationship on their first date, he hadn’t gone into details, and now, Steve could understand why.

“He kinda spiraled after that, which, fair enough. I thought I was going to lose him a couple of times, but he pulled through only to start hooking up with random guys, like, a different one every day of the week. I think he looked for the wrong guys on purpose, so there was no risk he’d get his heart broken again.”

“He told me he stopped after a while, because it made him feel empty,” Steve recalled. He was surprised to realize he felt the need to hug Billy and never let go.

“Yeah, that was two years ago, give or take. He threw all his energy into work, accepted a transfer to Seattle to oversee the new branch, and spent all the time he wasn’t at the office either at the gym or sleeping. He only came home for Christmas and Roscoe’s birthday. And yet, somehow, you two ended up playing Seven Minutes in Heaven in my hallway closet.” Max gave him a pointed look and Steve felt his cheeks heat up.

“I didn’t mean for anything to happen, I can promise you that.”

“Oh, I know. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I had high hopes.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

The smirk on Max’s face was eerily similar to the one he’d seen on Billy’s, and the blue eyes only compounded the resemblance. “I had a hunch you two would get along. And I was right.”

“You usually are,” said a deep voice coming from the doorway.

Steve whipped around to see Lucas standing there—so tall, his head almost reached the top of the doorframe. “Lucas. Hi.”

“Hey, Steve,” Lucas replied with a smile, walking into the kitchen and dropping a kiss on Max’s awaiting lips. “Hi, baby. The girls upstairs?”

“Yeah, they’re supposed to be cleaning up but I have a feeling they’re reenacting the royal wedding again instead.”

Lucas chuckled and threw an amused glance Steve’s way. “I’ll go check on them and make sure Rosie didn’t forget to pack anything.”

“Thanks, babe.” Max watched him leave then turned back to Steve. “Like I said before my husband walked in, I had a feeling you and Billy would hit it off, and you did. You are now at a crossroad, my friend. I know you worry about Rosie getting attached to a potential partner in case things don’t work out, and I get that, really, I do, but you can’t keep going like this. Billy is…” Max let out a sigh and put her bottle down on the counter, fingers picking at the label. “Billy is not built for casual, Steve. He’s the ‘all or nothing’ kind of guy. He puts his whole heart into everything, including relationships. So you need to decide if that’s something you want in your life. If he is someone you want in your life. Otherwise, I need you to end things with him now, before he gets hurt by an attractive bisexual man again.”

Max got out of her chair, taking a moment to put her empty bottle in the sink, then stopping by Steve. She patted him on the shoulder a couple of times. “I’ll give you a week to think about it.”

Steve barely heard Max leave the room, lost in thought about everything she had said. She had filled in some of the blanks about Billy’s dating history that Steve had been too chicken to ask Billy about, and given him quite the shovel talk…

He was still puzzled about the fact that Rosie knew about him and Billy, but he wasn’t mad about it. Truth be told, he’d found himself liking Billy more and more as the weeks passed. Lately, he’d even started to think about how he could approach the subject of Billy with his daughter. 

He sighed and folded his arms on the table, resting his head on his hands, as he thought about what Max had said. The thing Steve didn’t get was why Billy would agree to be casual if it was so against his nature. Steve had tried dating since his divorce, with limited success. It was hard to take the time to get close to someone when your child and their well-being was your priority. But that hadn’t been an issue with Billy. 

Steve had heard about Uncle Billy on numerous occasions, and from the moment he had laid eyes on Max’s brother at Roscoe’s party, he had been entranced. He’d just had to follow Billy into that coat closet, going as far as to pretend it was an accident so he had a reason to start a conversation.

He’d been the one to text first and had let out a very undignified squeal when Billy had replied, earning himself a surprisingly scornful look from his six-year-old. Not only was Billy hot, but he was also funny, thoughtful, clever, and really amazing in bed. He could do things with his tongue that made Steve blush merely remembering about them.

So, yeah, fair to say, Steve was smitten. He really regretted suggesting they keep their relationship casual because now he wasn’t sure how to tell Billy he wanted more. Though, listening to Max, there was a high chance they would get their happy ending.

[starlightoath]

The shovel talk

Colin: *digging a hole* how long do I have to keep digging, Mama.

Violet: I'm thinking...six feet down four feet across.

Colin: *pauses* Mama, is there a body you need to conceal.

Violet: Don't be foolish, Colin. Now you have hurt dearest Penelope and broken her heart too many times. And now that you're finally properly courting her instead of gazing at her like she's the only thing in the room and calling that friendship, I have words that need to be said. Colin.

Colin: Yes, Mama?

Violet: if I ever catch wind of you hurting dear Penelope again, the use of this hole will become apparent.

Colin: *continues shoveling* If I ever do I'll climb in myself.

[shieldofiron]

Shovel Talk (Bury Me)

So many people give Billy the shovel talk, it starts to become kind of a game.

Robin is first, deadly serious but very inventive when it comes to her imagined punishments. Henderson’s is by far the most inventive, spanning centuries of his life with pain and suffering that he’s not entirely sure the little guy could mete out. Nancy’s is to the point, simple. Just a reminder that she has guns, like she hasn’t shot at him already. But when he reminds her with a laugh she goes a little pale and apologizes. Jonathan’s is kind of half assed, and he’s the only one who seems to think Harrington isn’t some porcelain doll ready to shatter at any moment. Hoppers is sort of garbled, it’s clear that he doesn’t have a great footing with these things, with emotions and stuff.

Erica and Lucas deliver theirs at the same time, and it’s possibly the only one he’s really scared of, because that little chick is a firecracker. And as Lucas said, he hasn’t missed Billy once, unlike Nancy. Gotta respect that. Max’s is quick, a barely there mention that he better not hurt Steve, but it hurts worse than the others.

And he gets it. They’ve only been together a few weeks, but soon Steve is gonna wake up and realize that if he likes guys he could like better ones. Healthier ones, who are nicer. Calmer. Steve needs someone like Steve, someone warm and loving, who knows how to treat him right. Billy just happened to be around when Steve figured it all out. Billy just happened to be lucky enough to look like he looks.

It’s the only way this thing between them makes any goddamn sense.

The thing is, he also doesn’t see a future where he can really affect Steve like people think. Sure, Steve is affectionate and stuff. He’s happy when Billy does his best, when Billy opens doors for him and calls him to hear about his day. But surely Steve is just like that with everyone he’s dating.

So Billy just shrugs. Tries to let it roll off his back and remember that he knows what this is. That he knows what he is to Steve. Just a very good looking first experiment with guys. All he can do is keep things light. Keep things relaxed and casual. Open Steve’s doors and enjoy the feeling of being held by him, without expecting more.

He doesn’t push his feelings on Steve. He doesn’t say that when he sees how far people will go for Steve it makes him want to grab a shovel and dig and dig until he knocks on the ceiling of the upside down, until his arms feel like rubber.

He doesn’t get too mushy with Steve, or call when he’s had three shovel talks in a day and it hurts so much. When he wishes his boyfriend could just be there for him.

Because he knows what he is.

“Not hurting Steve” is the slowest death ever, like being buried alive. And then Steve will smile, and reach across the seat and take Billy’s hand… and Billy always decides he can die for one more day if it means being close to Steve.

El takes Billy’s hand when she sees him, and he almost expects another shovel talk. But instead she squeezes his hand.

“He’s hurting you,” she says softly.

“N-no,” Billy can feel his chin tremble.

“Yes, he is.”

She closes her eyes and the emotions wash over Billy like a hurricane. The isolation he’s still feeling. The way he’s terrified to spend time with Steve, the way he’s terrified to be himself.

He pulls his hand away, “Too much, Jane. Too much.”

She nods, “Okay. I’ll stop.”

And then they set down and watch Saturday morning cartoons, and she pretends not to notice that he’s crying.

So imagine his surprise when later that day Steve throws open the door to his car while he’s idling at the arcade waiting for Max. Steve is still in his family video vest, looking a little out of breath.

“Tell me what I did wrong,” Steve gasps.

“Uh, hello to you too,” Billy presses his sunglasses up his nose.

“What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing? What are you talking about?”

“I got a call from El,” Steve frowns, his bangs flopping down his brow, “Like five minutes ago telling me I could find you here to fix this.”

Billy groans, “Sorry. You didn’t do anything. She’s just worrying-“

“Worrying about what?”

“Nothing,” Billy shrugs, “Its fine.”

“What’s fine?”

“Everything.”

“Listen, man,” Steve sucks in a breath. “When a teenage telepath calls telling you to fix stuff with your boyfriend, you listen. What’s wrong?”

Billy snatches his sunglasses off and rubs his eyes, “Look she’s just… I’ve… fuck.”

“Baby,” Steve glances around furtively and must decide that it’s worth it to take Billy’s hand.

“I’ve just… your friends really care about you,” He spits out at last.

“What?”

“And maybe they’re right. Maybe we’re just dragging this out, and we should just… cut our losses,” Billy shakes his head. Because that’s exactly what he doesn’t want. But he would do it, for Steve. He would do just about anything. He’s the only person who can hurt Billy in quite this way. Steve hurts him, that’s how much Billy is in love with him.

“Stop, wait. I don’t understand.”

“They don’t want me to hurt you. Which is just… like the funniest fucking thing,” Billy looks at Steve square in his eyes, even though it fucking hurts, “They don’t know how impossible that is. Like… you don’t even care enough about me to be hurt.”

Steve looks struck, “What the fuck? What?”

Billy shrugs, snorting a little to try to calm the prickling in his eyes, and the tightening in his throat.

“Why would you say that to me? Say that I don’t care… that’s not true, Billy.”

“It’s fine,” Billy shakes his head no, and hates himself. “I know what this is. They just don’t get it.”

“And what is this?”

“An experiment,” Billy shrugs, staring hard at the arcade sign and cursing Max for being late again.

“I’m an experiment to you?”

Billy feels the anger trigger hot in his chest, “No. I’m the experiment. And when you’re done with me, and you find someone who is actually worth all this trouble from your friends, it’ll be over. You know. Someone you could love back.”

Steve is quiet, and when Billy looks over, his eyes are wide.

At just that moment, when all Steve has to do is pull the trigger and leave Billy like he’s supposed to, Max raps on the window.

Steve squeezes Billy’s hand, not moving. “Meet me when I get done with work at nine? Right here, meet me right here.”

“Okay,” Billy says, though he’s not sure why Steve can’t just do it right now.

“Okay,” Steve’s brow furrows, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Like Billy wouldn’t be counting the minutes.

And then Harrington let’s go, and flashes Billy a strange look before swapping with Max.

“What’s wrong with you?” She frowns at him.

“Oh, you know,” Billy sniffs, “Same old everything.”

“What did Steve want?”

Billy sniffs again, “I’m trying to get him to break up with me.”

“Why the hell would you want to do that?” Max curls her lip up at him.

“I don’t,” Bill reverses and peels out of the lot.

Max just stares at him, which he pretends not to notice as he starts the well worn route back to Susan’s trailer.

“Did he do something?” Max startles him with the vehemence in her voice.

“Nothing but be too good for me, right? I mean that’s what you’ve been saying,” Billy grips the wheel.

“What I’ve been saying?”

And Billy’s just so tired. He’s so tired, and he wants to go to the woods and dig until all he can think about is sweat and dirt. And then he wants to lay down and sleep for a hundred years.

But instead he drowns out whatever Max says next with the music, and when they get home, he ignores Susan’s prodding about lunch and seals himself in his room.

He tries to be late to see Steve, but, embarrassingly, he ends up being early, waiting outside the arcade and video store like some kind of creep.

Finally, Steve exits, waving goodbye to Robin who shoots a warning look over to Billy in Susan’s idling sedan.

“I’ll be out of your hair soon, Buckley.” He whispers, just as Steve gets in next to him.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Billy whispers.

“So… you love me.”

It’s like a punch to the gut. Billy’s stomach plummets through the mantle of the earth and down to the lava below.

“Fuck you,” He gasps.

“Am I wrong? You said you thought I would leave you for someone I could love back,” Steve doesn’t seem disturbed by Billy’s outburst in the slightest.

“This is by far the worst fucking way to break up with someone-“

“Well good, because I’m not breaking up with you.”

This knocks his stomach around more, though his heart, stupid thing that it was, started rising with dumb hope.

“Robin told me that you guys had a… conversation,” Steve nods, “And apparently she head from Nancy that… well. I had to do some detective work. But the point is, I’m guessing they kinda freaked you out?”

Billy frowned.

“And… I mean I can’t be totally mad at them, Billy. Because I told Robin how in love with you I was before we even dated,” Steve bit his lower lip, “I thought it would be too early to say. But since you said it first… it doesn’t feel so bad.”

“I didn’t,” Billy protests.

“You kinda did, though,” Steve takes Billy’s hand, “You love me.”

Billy tries to take a deep breath through his seized lungs. Like he had a choice. Like he hasn’t been lost for the guy from the moment he saw him across the parking lot, across a crowded party, across a court. It’s a dream now that they’re here, next to each other.

“I’m sorry that they scared you,” Steve brushes the scars on Billy’s palm, like he’s reading the lines for a moment, and then knits their fingers together. “They just know how hurt I can get when I loved someone… who didn’t love me back. No one can really hurt me, not like you can.”

Billy swallows.

“But…” Steve has the softest eyes in the universe, dark and depthless as the sea at night, “You wouldn’t. Right?”

It’s kind of a shovel talk. Billy doesn’t care. Only Steve can bury him this deep.

“No,” Billy gasps, “I wouldn’t. I mean I would try… never to do that.”

Steve leans in, face pink in the light of the arcade sign, “Will you say it? For me?”

“I love you,” Billy gasps.

“I love you too,” Steve smiles, “I love you so much, Billy.”

That night in bed, his spine still tingling, Steve throws him for a loop again.

“Will’s shovel talk was the scariest,” Steve sighs, “Don’t you agree?I mean El is scary and so is Max, don’t get me wrong-“

“Will?”

“Yeah, Will,” Steve shivers, “He told me he’s been to the upside down so he’s not afraid of prison.”

Billy shakes his head a little, “Will didn’t give me one.”

“Oh. What about Mike? His was pretty good. Not that scary but I thought it was really cute,” Steve leans up on his elbows.

“Wheeler?”

“Yeah. He said there’s only so many cool guys in town and I was not one of them,” Steve smirked, “I think he has a little crush on you.”

“First of all, ew,” Billy wrinkled his nose, “Mike didn’t give me one either.”

In the end they make a game of it. They each had a few different, but in the end it evened out.

Jonathan was way less lax when he spoke to Steve, it turned out. Max had threatened to go nuclear.

Billy had people who cared for him. That part wasn't a game, but it was very nice. And he had Steve, so he didn't need to bury himself, after all.

Also on AO3.

[were-wolverine]

i’m a platonic stancy best friends truther and i think nancy would end up being really protective of steve after everything

somewhere between s2-s3 her and steve talk about their relationship. she apologizes for taking out her feelings about barb on steve and for using him for comfort even though she didn’t love him. steve forgives her, understands why she did it and knows they were both hurting. they make up and become best friends

once steve and robin become best friends, nancy has to vet robin before she is allowed to be steve’s Official Best Friend (she passes with flying colors though)

when eddie starts dating steve, he gets several shovel talks (from robin, dustin and max) but the scariest is definitely nancy’s. she is cleaning one of her guns the whole conversation and describes in detail what she’ll do to him if he hurts steve

if she hears anyone talking shit about steve in school she will tear them apart verbally and psychologically. nancy once hears some girl talking about steve’s flirting at scoops/family video and calling him r*tarded and straight up punches her in the face and breaks her nose. she does not regret it one bit

(autistic fruity four is so real)

[intruding-stranger-universe]

Its always "if you break merlin's heart i'll kill you" from Gwain, Gwen, Lance, Gauis etc etc. In fics arthur's the one who's getting threatened. But it seems to me that man is its equally or more likely for merlin's(for some dumb noble reason) to break arthur's heart as well. I want merlin to get "the talk" as well. (Not from uther) just arthur has been been in camlot for years and nobody loves him enough to do that. Are you saying nobody saw through that emotional constipated mask and adopted him.