#Shikamaru x Ino

[lust-for-ultraviolence]

couples I headcanon as enbyhet because it makes me happy

InuKik

ShikaIno

SeiUsa

[upil-down]

ShikaIno wallpaper 💜💚

[starclast]

💚💜🌒

[atmymercy]

Naruto Fanfic

Title: My Trip To...

Ship: ShikaIno, side NaruSaku.

Summary:

Ino is determined to have the best trip of her life! While she may have gone to Disney World a couple of times with her family, this will be the first time she'll go with her best friends for a week! That means her dreamy crush, Sasuke will also be there as well!

Now if only her childhood friend, Shikamaru would buzz off!

[ a03 link - chapter 1 ]

[ a03 link - chapter 23 (latest) ]

[beanz5]

A continuation of my past story, hope you guys enjoy.

<Shikamaru X Ino>

Shikamaru!

Ino enthusiastically calls his name, for the umpteenth time of the day.

What?

Yet once again, he replies, annoyingly.

Hold me!

This is an infinite loop of the inevitable snuggle.

In the weight of her silent anticipation, Shikamaru eventually surrenders to his fate, he sighs deeply, unwillingly rises from his comfortable lying position, sluggishly drags his butt to her side and surrounds Ino in a gentle embrace that has no urgency, as she cheerily returns with a tighter grasp.

According to the medical report, his body was pierced with innumerable shuriken(s) and barely survived from his severe injuries, which happened only one second before Shikamaru successfully captured the hidden scroll. Ino lost her mind crying over his unconscious body, even desperately requested the head chief to put her in charge of his nurse and agreed to do the double work just to be near him as much as possible. To this day, he still wonders if the sound of her constant weeping and crying dragged his soul back to life, for believe it or not, when Shikamaru was aimlessly falling down a dark bottomless hole, how strangely painful he felt as its reverberation resonated in his unconsciousness.

Thus, to satisfy Ino's endless need for his warmth, in the meantime, he will have her body snuggled tightly against his at any time she calls like a child cries out for her mother's attention. Or even worse, Shikamaru sinks into silence as a resemblance suddenly dawns on him. Seriously, he feels like a slut, coming and going as she pleases.

Shikamaru!

Yeah.

Shikamaru!

Troublesome.

She spells his name every day, melts into his warm embrace every minute, and sinks into his kiss every second – and still, she finds his presence bears such a miraculous effect on her just the same.

Hard as it was to admit, the embrace and the kiss have been comforting, Shikamaru thinks as he draws her toward even more. Just when their lips are about to seek each other for a pleasant collision, at the most appropriate moment, his goddamn door opens to welcome the appearance of their nosy teammate, a horrible doppelgänger of Naruto though even worse than Naruto himself.

Guys, it's just 8 in the morning!

And is there a rule of time for their kiss? Returning to the not-so-comfortable bed- anymore for his moment with Ino has been disrupted, Shikamaru annoyingly crosses his arm while Ino looks at their uninvited guest in curiosity.

Why are you here?

Despite his friends’ utter lack of interest in whatever he is about to spill, Kiba, being such a boisterous man he has always been, seems to be unaffected. Though Kiba is abashedly blushing with shame - arises out of his teammates' intimate scene, his determination is unshakable, seeing that he is all ready for the big reveal.

Taking a deep breath, Kiba eventually bursts with excitement.

Hinata is pregnant with a second child.

Shikamaru does not even bother to ask how and why the man got the news since he and Naruto are so thick as thieves that they share the weirdest hobbies like meddling in other's affairs and such. Regardless of everything that was wrong about this announcement, and yet finding it unhealthy, Ino remains optimistic as she always is.

Well, send my congratulations and tell Hinata I'll visit her family soon!

She says in a sweet but even-toned voice and Shikamaru mumbles "troublesome" as the news is something to which he feels indifferent. Kiba excitedly nods his head while raising his thumb to give a sign of "Input complete". After causing a scene with his disturbing loud voice just to announce the news, the third wheeler even has the nerve to excuse himself and leave shortly after that, since he has a long list of people waiting for his announcement. One second the room was filled with their friend’s cheerful voice and now returns to its normal peace.

It's only 8 in the morning and he is already exhausted both emotionally and physically.

Our friends are so weird!

Ino tosses over her shoulder a large grin as she utters an exclaim, then leaves the chair to join the small-sized bed and put her arm around his waist while comfortably leaning her head on his shoulder. It goes without saying – or even his consent – that Ino is his 4-years girlfriend and his nurse, this hard-mouthed woman has every right to do everything as she pleases.

So Shikamaru braves her scrutiny with small boredom in his eye, one hand gently smoothing away her golden hair while the other plays with her fingers.

Shika!

Huh?

I want to marry you, let's get married!

A pause.

W…What?

Shikamaru, being a genius as he is, is unarmed under her attack and suddenly lost his verbal control.

W…what… what… did you just say?

He stammers, knowing his face must be flushed.

Marry! Let's get married, Shika!

Well, that is something, coming from Ino, on the hospital bed out of everywhere! He knows she has become more and more impulsive as she got older, but to the point of bringing out such serious matter in the not-so-sacred place, was never her style. Yet, Ino seems so straight-faced that it's even harder for him to study her mood.

When she promptly turns her face around and then leans forward, his eyes slowly blink and open, hesitating as her serene, expressive gaze proceeds to run over his face. Neither the hand nor a single muscle of Shikamaru’s face stirs.

A wisp of blond hair hangs over one eye and Ino quickly brushes it back, her eyes stay on him the entire time. The irony of the situation is that no matter how many times she tries to reassure herself of that, she remains terrified. Yes, he is alive. Yes, she can sense his chakra, feel the rhythm of his breath, and the beating of his heart. Despite all the proofs that prove his survival, Ino cannot dismiss the hallucination of Shikamaru’s darkened eye, his bloodied lip, and his unconscious body. She starts to wonder what kind of future it would be if he had gone forever. Because she might live on, she might forget about him, might build a family with another person then in the end, might fall into madness and kill herself out of agony…

For, she might not be able to move forward as the future begins gradually, and more importantly, Ino has never dared to think about the possibility among thousands of other possibilities.

I’ll move into your apartment or we can buy a new one, it doesn’t matter. I’ll let you stay in bed a little longer and won’t bother your nap. I’ll cook you good food, prepare your lunch, warm your bath, and if you want to watch the sky alone, I will never trouble you. I’ll try and try and try to make our life better, so please… stay with me…

Ino has cried in his unconsciousness, every night and over a thousand times before that. And then, once again, he finds himself holding her as she sobs in his arm.

They will never do enough deduction to find out how much they mean to each other, for it’s like God’s will, which transcends the blue horizon, goes beyond the Earth, reaches the sky, and flows amongst his favorite pool of clouds.

I’m sorry, Ino.

Being sorry and saying sorry, except for the fact that no one is at fault. Yet knowing the truth doesn’t mean anyone is right either.

I’m sorry!

Shikamaru knows nothing but running around the circle. As Ino knows nothing but wanting him to stop running around like a fighting moron then ends up getting hurt and hurting her.

Because, in the irony of war, they know nothing but hanging their life on a thread, and desperately keep on loving each other. . . Time goes by quickly, and her sob slowly weakens as Ino withdraws from the warm embrace, leaving a funny wet patch on his shoulder, something that is troublesome on his part yet Shikamaru decides to brush the matter aside. With all that is going on, he does not have the nerve to even budge.

So instead, he says.

If you want to marry me that much, then let’s do it.

And realizes how cringy it sounds as he puts it into words. Though Ino doesn’t seem to care about whatever happens here. For a moment, she sits still, waiting for Shikamaru to take the initiative and give her the appropriate line, which embraces four words and fourteen letters, no more, no less.

Sure enough, he rolls his eyeballs once he recognizes the message of her silent expectation. What’s done is done. Though Shikamaru is – to be accurate, the second to suggest this whole troublesome thing, he’s the first one to pull the trigger, he should fulfill his role as a once-in-the-while gentleman.

Ino, will you marry me?

He adds, with an undecipherable look – the kind of mysterious expression she favors the most as she calls him darkly handsome – lurks in his eyes.

It only takes her one second to beam at him with a brilliant smile and God knows for that, he can never turn a blind eye to her.

Yes, I will Shika, I definitely will!

Well, that’s it. The end of every love story. A troublesome wedding and a vow accompanied by lifetime commitment.

As he comes to consider it, marriage is only an occasion, that commences another milestone of their relationship, and in light of everything, he has known Ino for too long to stress over whatever stuns she holds up in her sleeve. On the contrary, he doesn’t find the thought troublesome the slightest bit, considering their mutual appreciation that she has been his consistent companion, his long-term comrade, his wonderful sweetheart and so far, the sound of “his wife” wasn’t half bad either.

Anyway, why did you make it sound like I’m the only one who wants to tie you down if you even went as far as buying me a wedding ring?

The expression on Ino’s face reflects both humor and mischief as she retrieves a couple of silver rings from her cardigan’s pocket and flaunts them in his dumbfounded face.

Humph, that is troublesome, indeed. Shikamaru is stunned, not by the rings themselves – since he’s born with a rare intellect, he does not need to check the words carved inside each one to recognize them – but by the reason behind her discovery.

I found it in your jacket!

As if Ino could read his mind, bluntly answering the unspeakable question.

How?

Duh, I’m your nurse, I washed it.

She justifies the circumstance loud and clear. But still…

Well, you should have other…

Dude, there is no way I would let them touch my boyfriend’s underwear!

The last blow is logically reasonable though.

Well, can’t refute that. He calmly shrugs, waving his incorporeal flag of defeat, at which Ino lovingly smiles as she jokingly consoles his loss with one of her head-pat skills.

They sit on his white bed for a while, silently enjoying each other company. As Ino silently puts the golden ring on her finger, she smiles expressively at him.

You know, I’m satisfied with this, throwing a wedding would be too troublesome for you.

With that, Shikamaru raised his questioning eyebrow.

What about your dream? Wedding of the century and stuff?

So you still remember what I said huh?

The thought of his concern brings her to laughter.

I meant I told you about that when we were 10, and now we’re 28! Since when did Mr. Strategist like you take into account the nonsense of a 10-year-old girl?

Shikamaru catches Ino, with a large grin splitting her face, he looks at a small twinkle in her eye scrutinizingly and since his girlfriend's smile is infectious, a genuine smile plays at the corner of his mouth too.

I do not unless it’s necessary.

Ino puffs at his reply.

And 10-year-old you told me it’s too cheesy.

He simply shrugs.

I do not hold any responsibility for my past self.

And Ino snorts her disbelief.

Yeah, you and your damn past self! You get yourself injured again and I swear to God I’ll have your past self f***…

Shikamaru chuckles loudly as she begins reciting a poem of curse words which sounds like a healing ASMR session to him.

He’s not the kind of man who is into sentimental things until he meets a humanoid object named Ino. This woman is the parent set that includes all the subsets that have no inclusive relationship with Shikamaru and for some unknown reason, he has always been caught up in the idea of her.

Gosh, he loves the idea of her! Ino Yamanaka!

[lust-for-ultraviolence]

I don’t care what canon says, ShikaIno is what really happened.

The thing that pisses me the most in Naruto is the fact that Ino and Shikamaru didn’t end up together, I swear. You can tell me all day that they were only friends, more like brother-sister relationship, but PLEASE. No one can convince me that this girl wasn’t in love with him from the beggining

[theylovevenus]

Hmm. Let’s think abt tjem and how funny their dynamic could be. Stemcell and Beautiful Blonde that is kindof a freak - walk with me here,,,

[run-stray-wolf]

Best friend, husband, advisor - page 34-39 (read from right to left, like the manga)

What if instead of Iruka, Kakashi chose Shikamaru to help Naruto study for becoming the next Hokage? What if Shikamaru took it seriously and discovered Naruto had ADHD? What if along the way Shikamaru became Naruto’s best friend? This is a Naruto x Shikamaru comic, following mainly Shikamaru's POV. Page 27-33

Page 1-6

[ravewoodx]

[martialartslover7]

Why I think Kishimoto isn't sexist, but just VERY tonedeaf and an idiot

Boy, will I have some venting to do today. I mean, at this point, it's not a secret, that Kishimoto has consistently stated that "he can't write women", to save his life. And to this day, for as long as I was a fan of the series, I am going to be absolutely real: This statement is so full of shit. Why? Simple. And allow me to express it in very big capital letters, so that even the last giant mental invalid can understand:

WOMEN ARE HUMAN-BEINGS WITH BREASTS AND A V BETWEEN THEIR LEGS. WHAT TYPE OF "NUANCES" IS THIS GUY TALKING ABOUT? THERE IS NOTHING "COMPLICATED" ABOUT THEM. WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS?

Like, this entire statement is bullshit for a completely reason altogether: Why even reduce his own point to the fact that the shinobi just so happen to be female? This just sounds like excuses on top of excuses, especially considering the competition like One Piece and Bleach, who all have badass, memorable and sometimes, quite well-written characters, that just so happen to be female.

Let's count up a few IPs that I am aware of, written or directed by males, that has some of the most badass, and most memorable females in all of media:

One Piece

Bleach

Soul Eater

Kill la Kill

Jujutsu Kaisen

Code Geass

Persona

Tekken

Street Fighter

SoulCalibur

Fire Emblem (not all of them, some of them, from what I have seen, can be insane jokes)

And so on, and so forth, the list goes on. And you know what all these IPs have in common, that make them stand out, compared to what Naruto does to its females?

THE FEMALES AREN'T GETTING BOGGED DOWN BY IRRITATING, REDUNDANT AND DOWNRIGHT OFFENSIVE TROPES, THAT FLAT-OUT RUIN THEIR POTENTIAL AND APPEAL AS STANDALONE CHARACTERS!

Like, allow me to list up all the tropes, that Kishimoto made use of, while writing the manga, or being involved in the process of writing / directing the anime, along with the movies.

1. Making the women overtly dependant on the male characters

This one, is not as egregious, but it's a good kickstarter. In the context of the world these characters operate in, to me, it does make sense to show that, like in the Edo period of Japan, women were always seen as second-class citizens, always needing to be tied to men somehow, otherwise they are "worthless". Considering the corrupt, militarized system that most of the girls work in, mostly operated by wrinkly, old farts, who enjoy playing god too much, it does remain understandable to me, that they would be hesistant to be 100% committed to the job, and just ask for normal lives...

...BUT...

...it does leave you asking: Why did they choose to be ninjas in the first place, then? To get smitten with the boys (not counting Hinata, by the way, because she was literally forced into this role)? Just applying as literal child soldiers in a war, that they didn't even start to begin with? And yes, I get it, kunoichis excel in areas that male shinobi struggle with, like silent reconnaisance, charming other men, or sometimes women, to tickle information out of them, being healers, but here is the thing: As the Naruto progressed as a story, this pattern kept repeating, every time a female character got introduced, it would fall back on the following checklist:

Is this woman a healer?

Is she obsessed with looking for a boyfriend / a husband?

Is she lacking in combat-based strength, to the point where she needs protection from either of the male characters?

Because, except for the healer bit, which is more of a specialized field, I just brought it up, because I felt it to be awfully noticeable how often the girls requested to be healers, as if they have to fit into such a mold, or they aren't capable as shinobi, the other two questions get repeatedly answered, for pretty much 98% of all female characters, especially by the end of Shippuden.

And don't get me wrong: This is NOT a negative, per se, that they desire a boyfriend, or someone to spend the rest of their days with, this is not what I am complaining about. In fact, a good chunk of ships in the series are hella cute, and I don't want them to go away. Because to an extent, the romance aspect feels genuine, especially between Naruto and Hinata, or Sasuke and Sakura (yeah, fight me on that, I will defend these two as a ship, until I die), or hell, especially Shikamaru and Temari, which are the GOLD standard, of what a good ship needs.

What I am complaining about though, is that, the series kind of uses this romance aspect as a shield, or excuse, to undermine the female characters, in the long run. Think about it, when was the last time when Sakura, in spite of all the grueling training she had to suffer through to become this strong in the first place, not wanting to be a hindrance to anyone, legitimately kicked ass, after killing Sasori? Not counting the war arc, because this arc is frankly, an inexcuseable mess, and Kishimoto should be ashamed of himself for making it suck this hard for how many asspulls this arc had. Nope, the moment Naruto goes berserk, and Sasuke just... appears... she is reduced to a whimpering mess, who can't stand on her own two feet, and has to be saved by someone. And this happens. ALL. THE. TIME. That's all that happens with her, sure, she heals countless ninjas during the war, but again, healing isn't the only specialty she got:

SHE IS A SHINOBI! SHINOBIS FIGHT! THEY DON'T JUST STAND AROUND LIKE IDIOTS, AND EXPOSING THEMSELVES TO ENEMY FIRE! GET! ON! WITH IT!

I swear, man, this just frustrates me beyond any reason, and the worst part, even someone as awesome as Hinata, who kicked so much ass in Part 1 (especially the filler arcs, don't get smart with me, I watched the anime, suck a small one on that), who had a whole, potential story arc hinted at with Neji, and the issues regarding their entire clan, was reduced to a simple Naruto #1 fangirl for the entire duration of Shippuden, not even the filler could salvage her in any way, and for someone like me, who relates to Hinata on a spiritual level, I find this just so damned pathetic. And whenever I watch The Last, all I could think about was this one coherent thought: You. Had. ONE JOB. Kishimoto. And you failed her. As a standalone character. Causing the entire movie to come off as if you were just shoehorning everything together, as if we only liked Hinata, because of the NaruHina ship. Well, newsflash, it couldn't be further from the truth. So, screw you, and the entire The Last movie.

Plus, I am sure I am speaking on everyone's behalf here: Anko Mitarashi and Tenten were done the MOST dirty by Kishimoto. Nuff' said.

On that note, that brings me to my next point:

2. The angry Karen housewife stereotype

I swear, this meme right here...

And Kushina's entire existence truly proves my point that, Kishimoto is really not doing himself any favors, whenever he says "I don't know how to write women". Oh, but then THIS is your answer? Is this how you see them all, the very second they get married and have kids?

So let me get this straight, the moment a woman, in the Naruto universe, gets married, has kids, and takes care of them, they become:

Aggressive, to the point of physically assaulting their own kids (Kushina definitely would have done so, let's not lie to ourselves, I love her, but this behavior of hers, combined with Sakura's general attitude towards Naruto, would have definitely made him suicidal after a while, if it weren't for the fact, he accepts it in his mom's case, because she doesn't know any better, considering her childhood)

Unpleasant to be around for their husbands (as if, we get guilt-tripped into thinking, the wives are the ones being selfish, wanting their lovers to be home with them, which, by the way, is a serious piece of shit way of thinking, because, they are married for a REASON, and not to stay apart all the time, THEY ARE FAMILY, at least, from how it gets painted as, in Boruto, from what I have seen so far)

Becoming total sociopaths, as if their genuine worries and concerns get painted as something so abnormal and "creepy"

...and this is how you see them all? THIS is your answer? Again, I know, we have ZERO evidence to prove that Kishimoto himself, is sexist in real life, it would be irresponsible of me to put that out there, because I just don't know the guy. I am just saying that, with how the housewives were all written thus far, and how, from Naruto's POV, he began having a fear of angry moms, calling them "scary", and how the females got seriously underrepresented in the course of the story...

...IT DOESN'T DO HIM ANY FAVORS.

I can't even believe I have to say this, because, newsflash, Kishimoto, and I will say it in caps: NOT ALL MOMS IN THE WORLD, ACT LIKE THIS!

They can get mad with us, they are fully in the right to whenever we do something stupid, no matter how old we get, because they will always view us as their babies that they cradled in their arms. But the problem here is: In Boruto, it gets painted as if the moms are the ones in the wrong here, just for being a tiny bit more concerned than others, because again, the world that they live in, is dangerous. And leaving the Otsu*redacted* aside, I can fully sympathize with them, so seeing someone like Boruto himself taking so many liberties being a spoiled, rotten brat, who never suffers serious repurcussions for his behavior (I know, he lost his headband for cheating, but for someone like him, who wished literal DEATH on his own father, just for him not being around enough, needed a way harsher punishment, you just don't say that your parents, dude, this doesn't take a genius to understand, especially since this is Naruto and Hinata we are talking about her), once again, it undermines the females, as if the kids ALWAYS "know better", and they "just suck, because moms are scary". Fuck off. Seriously. This is just disrespectful. No excuses. It shouldn't be written this way. Even more so, because the POV of the mothers gets never tackled, making this seem one-sided.

3. A few romances fall back on tropes, that disrespect not only the girls, but also the guys

OK, I will probably get some flack for saying this, but, regardless of the explainations in one of the Retsuden mangas, the InoSai ship, is perfectly encapsulating to me, how the romance in Naruto isn't without its flaws, and it mostly stems from how some of the characters just never get the privilege of gaining their own story sections about their own individual struggles as standalone characters.

I AM LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU, CHOJI AND KARUI! THEIR ROMANCE IS SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD, IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH JOKING ABOUT, EXCEPT, IT'S LITERALLY A JOKE, DUE TO THEIR NAMES BEING POLAR OPPOSITES TO ONE ANOTHER. HA. HA. HA.

Personally, to me, Sai is not that interesting of a character to me, I was never able to connect with him in any way, despite the importance he had in the story, alluding to the ROOT Anbu under Danzo's leadership.

But his "romance" with Ino, was seriously pushing it to me, not only because, it just regresses Ino's entire character, pushing her back into this mold that she is only interested in brooding, mentally ill edgelords like Sasuke, which paints her a shallow person, but it just paints Sai himself, as a stand-in for Sasuke, too, which undermines his own character, unintentionally. There are so many things wrong with their overall dynamic, I can't even put it properly into words.

And don't think, InoSai are the only exception to this rule. As much as it pains me to say this, NaruHina and SasuSaku are also affected by this, not as severe, but it's still pretty noticeable.

NaruHina

The fact that, with NaruHina, we needed an entire freaking movie, which, frankly, should have never happened, had they done a better job at utilizing Hinata as her own character, with Naruto present to help her out with her clan, and it all hinged on Naruto himself regressing as a character too, needing to be put in a fucking Genjutsu, just to see how he "truly felt" about Hinata... I am sorry, what is this? I mean, from a writing standpoint, this is just straight-up BAD. It's clichéd, it's painting Hinata as a damsel in distress, needing to be saved by Naruto, and Naruto himself being pardoned with "he is just dense", and overall, you can really tell, this is all just hamfisted into a single movie, because they needed to desperately convince us: Look, this is a thing. They are together now. Now play the emotional music, because that's all it needs.

Listen, I know Naruto never had a clear grasp on his own emotions, but the overall pay-off, to me, is just not there, no matter how hard I try. It just feels hollow, I don't feel happy with this. Because, for this to ship to work, they had to go through all these extra lengths to regress them both first, as individual characters, just so they can shut the lid on the whole thing. Made even worse by how this confession of Hinata during the Pain Invasion arc, was never brought up again to Naruto, until the freaking movie, and I still don't understand why. I know he didn't "ignore" her, but why does he fail to recognize Hinata's love confession, but the moment Sakura drops by to confess to him, too, he immediately calls it BS? Please. Make it make sense.

SasuSaku

Listen, nothing will stop me from loving these two as one, they deserve the peace amongst themselves, but the problem is, like InoSai, it falls back on the trope of, the girl bearing this mindset of "I can fix him", and while Sakura certainly did succeed... hear me out:

This is a purely universal thing now, this isn't just applying to SasuSaku. Otherwise, both ships have a solid foundation, ruined by shit writing. Nothing else to say.

That moment of Ino crying for Sasuke, really made me realize: Kishimoto really is clueless, not just about women, but men, too.

Because, again, for how often some of the girls bore this mindset of "I need me some brooding hunk of meat", essentially, desiring a man that knowingly treats them like crap, just so they can bear the delusion of "I can fix him", while downplaying and belittling the "uncool" guys like Choji, Rock Lee, or hell, even Naruto or Kiba, guys who, for the most part, have a solid grasp on their moral compass and their self-worth, denouncing their advances with "ew, no", is honestly disgusting to me. Like, come on, man, they aren't as cool as the edgelord teammates, but why downplay them so hard in the presence of the girls? Don't they deserve love too? Why belittle them for their eccentricities, it not only paints the girls in a bad light, but it straight up mocks the male "goofball" teammates for being the way they are. In short: NO ONE IS THE WINNER HERE.

Phew, OK, I hope, I made my point, loud and clear now. Because these points have been bothering me for a VERY long time now, and look, correct me if I am wrong. I am never 100% foolproof, so if I left out anything, feel free to correct me.

I needed to vent about this, because I felt so genuinely pissed off for how underpowered and underepresented the girls are, and how unkind and unforgiving the writing was to them, overall.

Peace.

[animereaderinsertwriter]

had some thoughts about Naruto characters and the question, "would you love me if I was a worm?", coming to you live from my roommate's text thread

Sasuke: would you love me if I was a worm

Sakura: you ARE a worm, deadbeat. come pick up your kid from school

Sasuke:

Sakura:

Sasuke: do you. love me. then?

Sakura: yes. please go get sarada.

Sai: I do not understand this. Why have you not asked me this yet?

Ino: asked you what?

Sai: if I would love you if you were a worm. Do you not want me to love you if you were a worm?

Ino: what-- no? I mean, yes! I mean--

Sai, calculating: so.... you want me to love you as a worm?

Ino: uh yeah ig?

Sai: I would not.

Ino: oh...

Sai: worms are not beautiful. or smart. they are only worms.

Ino: 🥺🥺

Temari: You would love me if I was a worm. I'd be the best worm ever, and you'd be a sucker just like you are now.

Shikamaru: Yes I would. You're already the best worm and you're not even a worm.

Temari: Good. Just making sure we're on the same page.

Shikamaru, visibly shaking: yep.

Iruka: this is a dumb question.

Kakashi: I love dumb questions. You look hot asking them.

Iruka: ..... would....would you love me if I was a worm?

Kakashi, without hesitation: of course. you'd still be you, and besides--- I've never had sex with a worm before

Iruka: Kakashi no.

Kakashi: seriously, I think it could work.

Iruka: Kakashi--

Kakashi, eyes glazed over: I'm pretty sure there's got to be a worm jutsu that would allow us to experiment....

Neji, trying and failing to be nonchalant: Hey Tenten?

Tenten, looking up from her training: Yeah?

Neji: I would love you if you were a worm.

Tenten: ?????

Neji: You know. Just in case you were wondering.

Neji *blushing*: I would.

Tenten, not understanding, but pleased nonetheless: Thanks babe ❤️

(bonus)

Sakura: Hey Naruto, earlier Sasuke asked me if I'd love him if he were a worm.

Naruto: but he IS a worm.

Sakura: That's what I said!! But... It got me thinking.

Naruto: that you would love me if I was a worm too?

Sakura: no! I mean, yes I would-- but, I was thinking more if I was a worm. Like. Would you still love me?

Naruto: uh, sure!

Sakura:..... That doesn't sound very confident.

Naruto: listen, I just --

Sakura: no I get it, you just don't love me

Naruto: THATS NOT WHAT I SAID

Sakura: no it's okay, you've always liked Sasuke more--

Naruto: SAKURA-CHAN, NOOOOOOOOO

BONUS bonus

Later:

Sasuke gets home. Naruto is in his room, sobbing. He's holding a tiny worm.

Sasuke: what the fuck are you doing?

Naruto, tears streaming down his face: ITS SAKURA-CHAN

Sasuke: what did she do????????? Is she okay?

Naruto: NO, SHES A WORM

Sasuke: WHAT

Naruto, becoming increasingly more hysterical: TODAY SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD LOVE HER IF SHE WERE A WORM AND I CHOKED AND DIDNT ANSWER FAST ENOUGH SO NOW SHE THINKS I DONT LOVE HER SO SHE TURNED HERSELF INTO A WORM AND SHE WONT TURN BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TELL HER I LOVE HER WHAT IF SHES STUCK THIS IS ALL MY FAULT--

Sasuke, visibly panicking: okay. Let's not panic. She's a sannin-level shinobi. She just wants us to feel bad. She'll change back when she's ready.

Naruto: BUT WHAT IF SHES STUCK

Sakura, who has been outside the window the whole time and watched Naruto find the worm in the kitchen: I love those morons so much-

[pikiikimaro]

Posting here cause um >_< shameless self promo

I have preorders in my shop rn..! Some gaalee things and some other character things!! Yay💕

My shop closes Nov. 29 so I can have these all made and shipped out hopefully before February! And to anyone outside the us… sorry about shipping,,,

[upil-down]

ShikaIno: Movie Night.

Shikamaru: Are you sure you wanna watch it? You're crybaby with these things. Ino: Of course I wanna do it! Did you remember who you're talking to? The next candidate to lead the Yamanaka clan? Shikamaru: Well, I was more thinking on the little girl that couldn't sleep well during a mission after we watch The Ring. Ino: Screw on you Shikamaru! I have 18 years now, I'm not a little child anymore. Shikamaru:It's okay! It's okay!Let's try with Michael Myers then, but I don't want screams overnight, okay? Ino: It's okay!

Some fourty minutes later.

Ino: AHHHH! SAVE ME! SAVE ME! DON'T ENTER THERE! DON'T ENTER THERE! Shikamaru: Agh! See what I told you? Okay I'd quit the movie. Ino: NO!! Wait! I-I am- I am enjoying it. Shikamaru: Wha-what?! Are you serious? Ino: Yeah I am totally serious! Like.... I'm here, just, eating some pop corn, the drinks, the... I just, we are holding our hands, I'm clinging to your forearm, it's exciting don't you think? It's cool. Shikamaru: Ohh.... Ahh... Okay, you are right, it's cool....

With notorious blush on their faces, and such warm feel on their touch, both continued enjoying the movie until it ended.

Shikamaru: You know.... It doesn't have to be the only movie like, we can watch more...... If you want.

A big smile appeared on the blushing and beautiful face of the blonde princess of the Yamanaka clan, her excitement grew as much as Shikamaru's steady heartbeat.

Ino: I would absolutely love that idea.

[starclast]

Tsukuyomi shikaino sketches 💜💚✨

[atmymercy]

Naruto Fanfic

Title: It's Her Again...

Ship: ShikaIno, side NaruSaku.

Summary:

As if Ino was jealous. She didn't get jealous. The very thought of it is ridiculous. Shikamaru was not a guy worth getting jealous over, especially if he was going to go for some sandy blonde who was practically only the skanky version of Ino. But who was really in the most denial here...? ShikaIno modern high school romance.

[ a03 link - chapter 1 ]

[ a03 link - chapter 16 ( the end ) ]

thank you to anyone who has been reading this and following along! i hope you enjoy the ending! i hope you enjoyed the couple! i just hope you enjoyed my gift to you! woot!

[beanz5]

<...>

- Shikamaru!

Ino enthusiastically calls his name, for the umpteenth time of the day.

- What?

Yet once again, he replies, annoyingly.

- Hold me!

This is an infinite loop of the inevitable snuggle.

In the weight of her silent anticipation, Shikamaru eventually surrenders to his fate, he sighs deeply, unwillingly rises from his comfortable lying position, sluggishly drags his butt to her side and surrounds Ino in a gentle embrace that has no urgency, as she cheerily returns with a tighter grasp.        

According to the medical report, his body was pierced with innumerable shuriken(s) and barely survived from his severe injuries, which happened only one second before Shikamaru successfully captured the hidden scroll. Ino lost her mind crying over his unconscious body, even desperately requested the head chief to put her in charge of his nurse and agreed to do the double work just to be near him as much as possible. To this day, he still wonders if the sound of her constant weeping and crying dragged his soul back to life, for believe it or not, when Shikamaru was aimlessly falling down a dark bottomless hole, how strangely painful he felt as its reverberation resonated in his unconsciousness.

Thus, to satisfy Ino's endless need for his warmth and her security, in the meantime, he will have her body snuggled tightly against his at any time she calls like a child cries out for her mother's attention. Or even worse, Shikamaru sinks into silence as a resemblance suddenly dawns onto him. Seriously, he feels like a slut, coming and going as her pleases.

- Shikamaru!

- Yeah.

- Shikamaru!

- Troublesome.

She spells his name every day, melts into his warm embrace every minute, and sinks into his kiss every second – and still, she finds his presence bears such a miraculous effect on her just the same.