#Shepard is causing problems

[hirik0]

Forced Proximity

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

Day 7

CW: mentioning sexual harassment

Ghost is waiting to get his injured arms x-rayed again. Looking how good they healed by now. Usally he would be annoyed by this, but he's in a good mood after his call with Soap yesterday. God he's down bad, Simon brought a bunch of emotions with him from his grave in Ghost mind. Even the nurses pick up on it, he needs to fix this. He is a private person and being part if the infirmary gossip makes his skin crawl. At least they think its a someone of the nursing staff, besides the head nurse. She is on to them, something about 25 years of experience and watching pinning soilders. Atleast she's supportive, saying that it was about to happen in a task force like the 141. And she's right he and Soap work together since the start of 141 and had countless missions together. Besides Roach Soap is the only person he touches outside of whats absolute necessary.

Soap sits in his office just coming back from a walk with Riley when Shepard walks in. Oh shit. "Captain MacTavish", he greats with a smile on his face. Oh he's fucked. "General how nice to have you here", Soap lies through his teeth, not even trying to smile knowing he cant pull it of. "I have a special mission for the 141", Shepard starts and Soap is braceing himself mentally. "As I told you everyone is eighter already out or on medical leave", Soap repeats his statement from 2 days ago. "Isn't Sergeant Sanderson and his team back by now?", Shepard asks and Soap gets a really bad feeling. "They are stucked in a monsume, when I checked din with him your save house was turning the lower level in a pool", Soap explains. "Who will back first?", Shepard demands to know. "Price and Beta Team is coming back to night." "Thats to late.", the General complaints trying to starr Soap down, force him to agree. "I'm sorry General, but we can't take this mission. We honstely don't have space for any additional missions. We are really busy." "How convinced Captain", Shepard already losing his patience. If looks could kill Soap would lie on the floor by now. "Is not my fault we found a intel gold mine and have to hunt down the leads", Soap conters the accusation of the General. "What do we even work with you together if you cant even take one singel mission", Shepard smears and Soap has to put a lot of effort keep his cool. Soap stays silent everything he wants to say will keep him longer on Shepards shit list. "The pentagon should probably cut the american buged for the 141", Shepard continues his angry rant. Shepards monologe goes on for 20 minutes and he ends it with: "Well maybe I should put my own men in the taskforce so that the job finally gets done right." "Well General if you're not happy with how the 141 is working you can make your own special taskforce, we had no complaints about our work yet", is the most diplomatic think Soap can muster to say, basically telling the General that he is the problem. Shepard is fuming at this before angry storming out of the office. Yeah, place 1 of the shit list is still his. He is so fucking angry about how Shepard smeared the work of the 141. This is now personal for him.

Soap is in the worst mode for having any disciplinary talks, but it has to be done. He just hopes this don't get on his nerves to much. He didn't hade any time to blow of some steam, so his ability to take anymore bullshit is absolute zero. Riley is leaving him alone sensing his bad moot, laying a bit further away carefully watching him. She has seen some of Ghost angry out bursts and the aftermath of them. How draind Ghost is after them, sometimes about to cry when he realises how much like his father he is. Sergeant Meyers is walking in Soaps office and Soap is tensing. "Captain MacTavish", the Sergeant greats him saluting. Soap hates how relaxed Meyers is about the situation. Probably got away with it before. Soaps blood is boiling already. He will get all up in Meyers face, the second Meyers steps over the line. "I have a complain about your behaviour Sergeant", Soap simply states, Meyers still being way to relaxed. "From whom?" "Anonymous." "So it's all made up then if they don't even want to but their name on it." Soap is disgusted by the smugness in the Sergeants voice. "Oh so you didn't encourage or atleast dont stop 5 Privats to sexual harassing a fellow female soilder?", Soap asks giving Meyers one last chance to admit. "Never seen or heard a thing, Sir." " So you never over heard and I quote: " 'With this fat tits you should change carriers, I would be your first costumer'?" Meyers confidence is waving when he hears the disgust in Soaps voice. "No, Sir." "What about 'Can I cover you big titts with my cum? I bet it would make them look even better'?" "No, Sir." "So you didn't tell Private Hotchner last week that 'she would help bossting morals by not covering up her big fat titts'?" "I..", Meyers stammers knowing he's in deap shit. "Answer the question Sergeant. Yes or No. Did you or did you not?", Soap voice cold with rage his eyes burning holes in the Sergeants head. "Yes, Sir", the Sergeant stammers out. "So am I right to assume that the female Privates don't feel comfortable to report this kind of harassment to you?" "Yes, Sir", the face of the Sergeant an unhealthy pale. "Why do you think thats the case?" "Because I.. because I participate in the same behaviour, Sir." "You still think the report is fake, Sergeant?", Soap asks his finale question. "I.. no Sir." "Thats what I thought", Soap spit out his voice cold and emotionless. Meyers squirms under his gaze, nervously waiting for whatvever punishment the Captain sees fit. "What's my punishment, Sir?", the Sergeant asks when Soap continues to burn holes in his head. "I will talk about it with Captain Price and Ghost", Soap answers a cold smile on his face. "Ghost?", Meyers stammers about to faint now. "That's a problem?" "No Sir." "Oh and Sergeant you will punish and observe the punishment of the 5 Privates. They will clean the showers with a toothbrush, for the next 2 months " "Yes Sir, of course Sir." "I will know if you let them get away with this or make their punishment easier." Meyers only nots at this not able to verbaly confirm he understood. "Dismissed." Meyers nearly runs out his Office.

Riley carefully puts one of her paws on Soaps leg. Getting aggressive head scratches from Soap, who takes a deep breath he needs to punch someone or fuck, he don't care at this point. He lets out a sign before giving Riley his full attention for now. Scratching Rileys favourite spot behind her left ear. Riley is resting her head on Soaps leg looking content. "Spoiling my dog with affection, Captain?", a voice sudenly asks, making Soap flinch. "Fuck Ghost, stop living up to your call sign", Soap complains looking up again. "Not my problem when you don't pay attention to your surroundings", Ghost says shrugging, a amused glint in his eyes. "You're allowed out of medical?", Soap changes the topic. "All healing well, 3 more weeks then the cast gets of", Ghost states and Soap senses that something is up. "You want a medical leave form?", Soap asks. "No, I can recover on base, shorter ways. You know." Soap needs to a moment so he don't say anything he shouldn't say no the admin building. "Of course, so you here to take Riley with you?", Soap asks. "No." Soap frowns at this, what does Ghost want then. "Over heared your littel talk with Meyers. Poor guy nearly fainted when he saw me", Ghost says casually aproaching Soap. Soap trys to watch Ghost and the door at the same time, if Shepard honestly anyone walks in they are fucked. Ghost leans down before wispers I his ear: "You're frustrated, Captain?" Ghost voice is so low and deep right now giving Soap goosebumps. "Yes", Soap admits before waiting for Ghost respons. "Want to get some stress relief?" Soap breath hitches at this, hes breathing now audioable. "No, yes I.. fuck Simon not here", Soap shutters out, looking at the door warry that every can see them. "Know a spot", Ghost wispers such nice dirty promises in his ear. Soaps brain sady reminds him about an important detail. "We can't Shepard is on base", Soap says knowing he's ruining the mood with this. He wants to hear more about Ghost plan. Ghost makes a frustrated noice before pulling back, looking more affected by this then Soap.

Ghost pupils are blown, the usual cold blue's producing a lot of heat right now. He just wants a good fuck is that to much to ask? "What did he want?", Ghost asks crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Tryed to give us a mission." "We have enough mission and not enough people already", Ghost reminds both of them of their big workload of the last two months. "Wanted to send Roach and the two FNGs out, but that's not the worst yet. Sounds like he wants to partly take 141 over", Soap explains why he got out of the conversation this morning. "He will have to rip the taskforce out of Price dead hands, old man probably will come back from the dead to prevent this", Ghost jokes to lighten the mood a bit, knowing Soap knows that he takes this serious. "I think he would like to replace me." Ghost eyes turn dark at this filled with cold rage. "Think that's what all this is about. He knows he can't get Price out, so he targets me. Think about it, the shady interrogation on our home base with his own men. The 'important' mission for Roach that cant wait till Price and Beta team are back." "Thinks that would cause a public up roar, if ever found out. Maybe bad enough to get kicked out", Ghost concludes the atmosphere of the room took a 180 by now. "Fucking cunt", Ghost courses, making Soap laugh unamused. "When does Price come back?", Ghost asks the sooner Price is back the better. "22:00"

Ghost still sits in Soaps office, giving Riley all the attention that she wants. Being deep in thought, first his mind was occupied with their littel problem with Shepard. How he could kill him, slow and painful, so many good options for this too. The sad reality is that it has to look like a accident, maybe they could lead a false trace, but a quick accident something totally ordinary would be the safest choice. People died all the time falling down stairs or getting run over by a car. But after reading the complaints he is thinking about a good punishment for Meyers. "Soap?", Ghost asks in the comfortable silence. "Aye?", Soap answers not looking up from his papers. "How about the person that filed the complaint is chossing the punishment?", Ghost suggests making Soap look up. "If Price agrees, I don't see why not", Soap says with a smile. Soap is streaching his arms before standing up, getting Riley to walk to the door exited. "You're coming?", Soap ask leash in the hand. Ghost stands up needing to stretch himself after who knows long he sat on the chair.

They walk next to each other towards the forest, making sure they don't walk to close to each other. Riley pulling the leash the whole time very excited over her owner being back to walk her, more or less. Ghost looks over his shoulder the buildings of the base only small dots in the distance. He starts feeling nervous, its ridiculous being this nervous over what is is about to do. He carefully reaches out for Soaps hand, brushing there fingers against eachother. It could be seen as a radom touch, but Soap hooks his ring and littel finger with Ghosts. Both men smiling softly, it doesn't really fit them with what they do for work. They kill for a living but here they are holding hands walking Riley together it's disgustingly domestic. The cold persona of the Ghost is being pushed aside by Simon. It is strange after such a long time to be just Simon again. Its a bit overwhelming to feel so much emotionally, but the warmth of the intertwined fingers ground him. Riley stops at a tree sniffing it very intresteted. They turn to each other Ghost smile getting bigger when he sees the light pink blush on Soaps cheeks. Soap looks so soft at him before stepping closer. He puts both his hands at the seam of Ghost balacalava waiting, silently asking Ghost for permission. Soap carefully pulls the fabric up, stoping the the bridge of his nose. Soap licks over his lips needing some time flashing a shy smile at Ghost. Ghost huffs amused about the absurdity of them publicly wispering filthy promises to each other but getting all shy about holding hands and kissing. Soap opens his mouth to ask what's so funny, but Ghost is leaning in and the question is wipped out of Soaps brain. Soap closes the gap, pressing his lips against Ghost. It's shy kiss, but feels perfect for the peaceful moment. Soap presses his nose against Ghosts feeling like when he had his first kiss with Susie Prentes in 8th grade. The warm and giddy feeling of kissing someone you care about for the first time. He can't stop the big smile apearing on his face, humming pleased when he sees the mirroring smile on Simon.

Ghost thought by the record how all their interactions about what is in between them go, that their kiss would be filthy. Instead it was soft and tame, he's fucking gone by this simple gesture. All kisses Ghost had up to this point where part of getting ready to fuck, they where filthy, desperate and hungry. But this kiss was the exact opposite of this and they shouldn't kiss like this. Soft kisses and holding hands is something you do when you're in love. Love has no place in their line of work, only would end in disaster but he dont care. Seeing how Soap is looking and smiling at him, washes the cold loneliness away, sooths the need of 6 year-old Simon Riley to be loved. They kiss again the shyness washed away by the understanding they both feel the same. When Soap licks over his lips Ghost pulls away. "To much?", Soap asks. "No, but if we make out I might don't care if you fuck me in a forest on the ground with no lube", Ghost atmids blushing himself now. "Sounds good to me." Soaps eyes are sinfull to look at right now, how they are darkened and the pupils are a bigger then needed for the amount of rest day light. "Yeah, I think Riley would not like that", Ghost reminds Soap of why they are even in the forest. The tree long had stopped being interesting and Riley patiently sits to their feet, waiting. "Another time then", Soap jokes while shrugging his shoulders. "You're into this primal stuff Soap?", Ghost ask suprised before stepping away. Soap looks uterly confused by the question. "A primal kink Soap, like hunting someone before you fuck on the floor like animals for example", Ghost explains, seeing the moment when realisation is washing over Soap. Soap blushes at this before he starts walking again. The next time Soap is on leave he needs to do some research.

They are standing next to the air field waiting for Price to return. They need to talk with Price as soon as possible. It dark already so they would here the apraoching plane long before they see it. "Ghost?", Soap asks knowing that now is not the time or place but he needs to now. Ghost humms as answer turning towards Soap. "Are you into it?", Soap asks referring to their talk in the forest. "I'm into things that are part of it, but I wouldn't say I have it", Ghost answers their conversation covered up from unwanted eardropers by a starting helicopter. Soap nods at this starring in the night sky again to look for the plane. "You think you have it?", Ghost asks curious. "Don't known need to look it up first", Soap answers sounding a bit mortifyed. "Would you, I mean if I had it?", Soap asks nervously. Ghost keeps his answer for later because General Shepard is aproaching them. "Captain MacTavish, Lieutenant Riley", he greats them. "General", they answer in unison. "How long till they land?", Shepard asks. "10 minutes, Sir", Soap answers. This are the longest 10 minutes of Soaps life. When the airplane finally lands and an exhausted Price and Beta team emerged Shepard marche towards them. Ghost and Soap give each other warry side glances. Price says something that Shepard doesn't like because they end up arguing. It seems like Shepard lost the argument because he storms of angry. Price walks towards them. "Price", Soap greats him and Ghost gives him a nod. "What's going on with Shepard and why is he even here?", Price asks. "To cause trouble", Soap simply answers. "What did you do Soap?", Price asks tiered, like he dont have the mental energy to deal with this. "I declined two of his request that where very last minute", Soap gives the short answer. "We talk about this tomorrow." "Yes, Sir."

[who-is-riley]

Lair of the Shadow Broker

[jamandjazz]

Mark/johnny/curly/pony is fun, yes

But imagine mark/johnny/pony (where it’s more mark and johnny sharing pony but they still get along) while SOMEHOW curly and Bryon end up together and mark/johnny/pony watch that absolute dumpster fire of a relationship together and think “wow what the hell are they doing over there”

I did NOT see this I’m SO sorry

But oh my god that would literally be insane. (Curly got with him to piss Angela off 😔 that poor girl) And Jesus I actually have no clue what type of dumbass shenanigans they’d get into. Bryon goes with the flow a lot for Mark (before yknow Cathy and the books ending) so I can’t even begin to IMAGINE the shit Curly would drag them into. Mark would think it’s funny watching them but Johnny and Pony are JUDGING them so hard.

[and-his-hands-were-24-crows]

Listen I fucked up a lot on this one but that's what I get for trying to do things like "use other people's techniques for doing flats" and also "do flats."

[mrabubu]

How do you think the turtles from ROTMNT would deal with their feelings if they were in love with someone (be it human, mutant, Yokai, etc.)?

Oh man... Hmmm...

I really hope that wouldn't be a problem if I mostly ramble about Leo (I'M SORRY GUYS THE BLUE TURTLE LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE), and maybe a couple of words about the rest. I'll also be talking about both young and adult Leos, so, here we go.

I'll give short opinions on other turtles before Leo:

Donnie: Would be neglecting his feelings and emotions at first. Even though, in my opinion, he was established as the one prone to romance, I think when he'd actually feel anything towards anyone, he'd be really conflicted, because it's one thing to see this stuff on the TV and all, and another when it's in real life. But once he'll deal with all this mess in his head, he's a real gentleman.

With Raph and Mikey I'm going to refer to @souperwrites words, I hope they don't mind xd

"Mikey is confident and lovey dovey." And I totally agree with it. I feel like he would be the one who'd have the least problems with his feelings.

"Raph is shy but very genuine in his affection but also super nervous because of his size and the potential harm he could cause without meaning to." But honestly, I think my friend @daysofmoron could also give their opinion, since they love the red turtle. xd OKAY, NOW MY BOY LEO.

If start with young Leo, in the show he was always all "EWW!" whenever any sign of romantic love is shown, be it Big Mama and Splinter or Warren and Hypno (at least I remember them being all cuddly, and Leo's was just barfing at them on the background), but I imagine once his own heart goes "doki-doki" for Y/N (let it be Y/N or "you" for now), he's a total mess at first. Remember that episode when they met Jupiter Jim actor, and Leo couldn't even put the syllables together? Yeah, that's him at the start, especially if Y/N doesn't know about his feelings towards them. He'll be trying to impress Y/N but since his emotions are all over the place, he messes up more than usual, maybe even ending up hurting himself (like, he'd try to impress you with his skateboarding skills, but ends up eating concrete because he's too distracted).

And here I'm going to add a bit of my own ideas, because I've been thinking of some scenarios, like, if taking that previous idea with skateboarding, or, more easily, let's take the episode "The Longest Fight" when he fell, I imagine if on the contrary from others you'd actually show any genuine concern about if he's hurt, he'd be like "Oh..." and blushing, because usually his brothers would make fun if him, and here comes in you who doesn't laugh at his failure and worries if he needs help. I think after a moment like this he could begin to feel something.

And with Future Leo HO OHO I have an entire game reference on how I imagine him handling a romance.

First of all, I think as an adult he would be more confident with his feelings if he ever feels anything towards anyone, because, well, he's an adult now, and because when you at war you kinda already went through a lot to be all this blushing mess over feeling butterflies in your stomach.

So, as a reference, whenever I thought of him in a relationship, I though of a romance with Garrus from Mass Effect. I imagine Leo being kinda awkward, trying to make jokes at first that are much more sloppy than usual. Especially if talking about Garrus, I always think of that scene from Mass Effect 2, when he comes into Shepard's room before the final mission, trying to lighten up the mood, flirt and all, but ends up just being an awkward (but adorable) mess, and saying: "I've seen so many things have gone wrong... I want something to go right. Just once. Just..."

And it's just really easy for me to imagine Leo say that. And instead of touching scars you touch his prosthetic.

And also that dialogue with Liara after "The Lair of the Shadow Broker" DLC, when she asks if you fight for giving Garrus some peace, and you say that he's been hurt and deserves something better.

But once Leo's over all the awkwardness and let himself relax, he's just enjoying this new experience with you, having fun.

This scene with Garrus and Shepard trying the "first date" thing which ends up them dancing tango together. With all the teasing and all, I can easily imagine Leo would do something like that.

Honestly, I think that's it? There are more scenes in Mass Effect with Garrus and Shepard where I could easily imagine Leo would do something like that, but it's a lot. If you know, you know, If don't, well, I hope I was able to gave you an idea.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

More Darry Curtis headcanons

-Goes to every single parent/teacher interview night or open house at Ponyboy’s school, even if he has to take off work. Part of it is because he’s determined to be a good guardian but part of it is because he just proud of Pony and likes hearing from teachers how great he is

-Speaking of how great Pony is, Darry brags about Pony SO much. Like his work crew and the gang never stop hearing about how great the kid is…except when the kid is present. Then you couldn’t get a compliment out of him if you pried his jaw open

-He and Sodapop both have a soft spot for soap operas and watch them together super late at night so no one else in the gang- Pony included- will find out. (Steve caught them once but he just sat down quietly, waving away their hasty attempts to explain themselves, muttering for them to shut up, and that he used to watch them with his mom when she was still around. The three of them finished the episode and went to bed without saying anything else.)

-Loves music of all kinds (I just know he’d be one of those guys that is SO into music history and makes it everyone else’s problem) “did you know this song was meant to be an apology to-“ “-to some random broad, we know Dar, now shut up would ya?”

-Is left handed

-He and Two-bit butt heads quite a bit but he’s also closer to Two than almost anyone else in the gang because they’re the closest in age. They have so many inside jokes that the rest of the gang gets confused because Two can sometimes get him to snicker from seemingly innocuous remarks that aren’t funny to anyone but Darry

-Has dragged Soda (and Steve by extension) away from Buck’s too many times to count and is pissed every time

-Worries the whole time when he goes on ski trips with his old buddies. He worries a lot anyway, but it’s always worse when he’s too far from home to get there immediately  if something happened. Both Soda and Pony know this so they’re actually better behaved when he’s gone than when he isn’t

-Speaking of the ski trips, he always comes back glowing, for once looking his age, so the gang encourages him to go as much as possible. They have to be subtle about it though, because he gets suspicious that they’re planning something if they make it too obvious they’re trying to get him to leave, and then there’s no way in hell he’ll go

-Loves rodeos but unlike Soda has never and never wanted to participate in one

-Mother's day and father's day are contentious days in the Curtis house ever since the accident, so Soda and Pony just designated a random day as 'Darry Day" and got him little gifts, and did all the housework because they really do appreciate everything he does for them. Darry was super touched and vehemently denies tearing up when he saw the card Pony made for him

-His bond with Tim Shepard is hard for the gang, Darry himself, and even Tim to figure out, but it’s very strong despite how little they actually interact

-Despite refusing to ever go to the hospital, he’s actually the absolute worst patient when he’s sick. It takes a lot for him to admit that he’s ill, but once he does he’s absolutely insufferable. Pony and Soda takes turns taking care of him because they’re both liable to lose their temper if they have to do it for too long without a break. (“Soda my head hurts” “I know Darry” “Soda I need a glass of water” “you have a glass of water” “but Soda it’s not cold” “I got you a new one five minutes ago” “but Soda it warmed up” “damnit! Pony tag in, you deal with him, I need a smoke” “Pony I’m dying” “you’re not dying Dar” “yes I am” "no you're not")

-He’s a super fast walker. Like, anyone shorter than him has to jog a lil to catch up

-He’s a cat person. Pony and Soda are both dog people, and it has caused more than one argument despite the fact they have no pets and couldn’t afford  one even if they could agree on what they wanted

-He and Soda definitely made a secret handshake when they were little, and he still remembers every single move of it even though they haven’t done it in years and he isn’t sure if Soda even remembers making it

[chippedshake]

Based on a prompt by @amethyst-writer

It's been a couple weeks since Darry and Ponyboy agreed to stop fighting. Of course, months of a strained relationship, of barely contained hollering and silent tears at night aren’t going to vanish with a simple conversation. They're going to keep on arguing, no one could believe anything else, but at least Soda won't be forced to be a middleman anymore. They won't tear their family apart anymore because they're communicating and talking to each other and not bottling up their emotions until they explode in a slap and running away and two of their friends dying.

But old habits die hard and Ponyboy is late again.

"Where've you been?" Darry asks, trying to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice.

"M'I late?" There’s a testy undertone to Ponyboy's voice, daring Darry to disagree. Is he the only one putting any sort of effort into this whole "no fighting" thing?

"Yeah, buddy, you're late."

They aren't screaming. Two months ago, they would be screaming. Now they're trading tense, passive-aggressive statements with long stretches of silence in between.

Darry doesn't know which one he prefers.

"Sorry."

"Can you stop with the sarcasm for a second and actually talk to me?"

"I am talkin' to you, Darry, you just don't care about what I say 'cause you already got your whole speech prepared."

A scathing reply is crawling up Darry's throat and dancing around his tongue, tickling his gums and pulling at his teeth, trying to force his lips open.

Pony ran away and Soda ran away because you can't keep your temper down.

"Right." He shoves it back and down his throat "I'm sorry, Ponyboy."

Ponyboy can't meet his eyes and shifts his weight to his right leg.

"Don’t worry 'bout it, Dar. I'll try an' be on time next time."

He is. On time, that is, the next time he goes out. Which is the day right after, by the way. As if he didn’t want to spend time with his brothers.

The problem this time is that he's gone out with Curly Shepard and TPd their principal's house.

Pony didn’t even tell Darry. He had to find out when the school called him because they got caught.

"I just can't believe you were this stupid! Don't you ever think, Pony? How do you expect to get out of here when all you ever do is get into trouble with Curly Shepard, who spends more time in the reformatory than in his own house?" Darry takes his coat off aggressively as they walk inside the house and Ponyboy flinches back on instinct.

Darry freezes.

"Shoot, Pony, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't mean to scare you." His voice is soft and careful now; he's talking like he would to a scared child on the street who's missing his parents and scared of the big stranger talking to him.

Oh.

"I'm sorry, Pony." His voice is pleading and he's forcing tears back because he knows it won't help anything if he starts crying now. He's apologising for so much more than just taking his jacket off and they both know it, but Ponyboy won't meet his eyes. He looks anywhere but at Darry, his face drawing back awkwardly as his shoe tries to make a hole in the floor.

"S'fine Darry, I know you didn't mean to."

Pony may say it's fine, but nothing about their situation is fine.

Darry starts noticing. Every time he pulls a chair back. When he wanders out of the kitchen with a knife. A quick hair-ruffle without warning.

It all feels violent. Reminiscent of that night that gets further away with every day that goes by but still haunts Darry's mind the moment he closes his eyes.

And he's trying, he's really trying, to make sure Pony knows he doesn't mean it. Blubbering out apologies, moving slower, announcing actions.

None of it's enough.

Ponyboy doesn't seem to spend any time at home anymore. He's always out. With Cathy or Curly or Mark or even Bryon, who seems to hate him for some reason Darry can't wrap his head around.

He gets home right for dinner and hardly says a word.

It's Darry's fault, if course. No matter how much he apologises, no matter how much he tries to take back all the stupid yelling (and that night, that goddamned night that haunts every night that's come after), it's never enough. Ponyboy isn't going to forgive him and, honestly? Darry can't blame him.

But they promised. They promised Soda that they would try and that they wouldn't hurt him anymore.

And now they’re back in the same place: unspoken tension strung tight in the air whenever Ponyboy and Darry are in the same room, Soda trying his best to dissuade it without taking sides.

Darry doesn't know what to do anymore.

Is there even anything of his family left to save? Did their last hope at functionality die with their parents on those train tracks ten months ago? How can he get his little brother to forgive him?

Does he even deserve forgiveness?

Soda's gone to sleep and Darry's own eyelids are heavy but Pony isn't home yet and he's waiting up.

Ponyboy's fine. He's come home late before, always in one piece. Darry himself used to come home at ungodly hours of the morning when he was still in highschool, and his parents never waited up.

No one waits up for their kids when they go out with friends.

But the moment Darry thinks about going to bed, Ponyboy appears in the park, drowning because Darry trusted him to cool down and come back.

Sue him for being nervous.

The door squeaks open as Ponyboy comes inside and Darry leaps to his feet.

"Where the hell've you been?"

Ponyboy shrugs his jacket off and hangs it on the hook by the door before answering.

"Out."

"Out," Darry repeats sarcastically, "like you always are these days. I'd be surprised if you spent a single minute in this house that wasn't so we could feed you! You ever think about your brothers when you're off on joyrides with Curly Shepard – don't look so surprised, you know I talk to Tim –"

"If you know where I am all the time then you don't gotta worry about it, do you?"

"Yes, I do hafta worry about it because you’re my little brother and Curly Shepard is nothing but trouble."

"Like you ain't friends with Tim–"

"That’s different and you know it. I don’t know how you'd even know who I talk to since you never spend any time at home anyway, but–"

"You ever think that maybe I don’t wanna come home because all I ever get for doin' it is you hollerin' at me? Oh, it's all better now 'cause you apologise fer yellin' all day, but that don't change the fact that you do!"

"What else am I supposed to do? You know damn well we can't keep tearin' Soda apart and God knows you ain't puttin' in any of the effort. Tell me, Pony, what do you want me to do? 'Cause that's all I do, aint it? Just follow your every–"

"I want you to be a better brother!"

A beat of silence.

Ponyboy's breathing quickly, his chest shaking, and Darry can hear the tears he won't let fall.

"D'you remember when I lost your football a year ago?" His voice is fragile, tense, barely audible over the silence that's rushing through Darry's ears. "The one the whole team had signed. You hated me for days. Then we bounced back a week later without even a sorry. And now–" His voice breaks and a faint hiccup makes it through his defences. It takes all that Darry has not to wrap his arms around his little brother "–now ya can't even say two sentences without a sorry bein' in the middle of them and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of it because I ain't fragile and I ain't gonna break if ya tell me to do my homework! I just didn't want you on my case all the time, but even that's better than whatever this is.

"You wanna know why I'm always with Curly? 'Cause he calls me an idiot when I mess things up and he wrestles with me and only says sorry when he actually hurts me. 'Cause he don't treat me like I'm made of glass. And I'm not!"

Ponyboy ends his rant with a little stomp that looks so absurdly childish after their fight that Darry almost laughs.

But it's a stark reminder of the fact that Ponyboy is just a kid. He's just a kid and he's gone through about as much as Darry, who still feels unprepared for it. Ponyboy's fourteen but he isn't, not really. Fourteen-year-olds don't have to worry about their friends crumpling under streetlights or drinking so aggressively they end up in a hospital bed they can't pay for. They don't have to worry about carrying out their best friend's dying wish.

Ponyboy's sick and tired of everyone around him treating him like a kid when he can't really be called one anymore because kids are innocent and what part of Ponyboy can be called innocent right now? He's gone through enough loss to know what he can handle and how he should cope, and yet everyone's assumed he doesn't because he's a scrawny little kid.

Darry walks – stumbles – over to the couch and sinks down into it. He rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands and runs a hand down his face.

He can't look Pony in the eyes, not now. Not if he really wants to say it right. Instead he stares holes into the couch in front of him, trying his best to find where to start.

"God, I–" He cuts himself off with a sigh. "I'm so sorry, Pony. You're right. It's stupid, I wanted to protect you from the world, at first, make sure you got outta here." He laughs humourlessly. "Can't believe I didn't realise how pointless it was. You can't protect someone from the world they live in. Then I wanted to protect you from myself, which was even stupider, I don't even know what I was trying to do, but I was trying–"

He's cut off by a small body – too small, hasn't he been eating? – ramming into him as Ponyboy sits down on the couch next to him.

"I know," Ponyboy whispers as his arms snake around his older brother, his head buried in Darry's shoulder. "You're tryin' and you ain't perfect." He takes a deep breath. "And I also know I ain't exactly helped much."

Darry gives a breathless laugh. "It's fine, Pony. I wasn't a saint at fourteen either."

He wraps an arm around Ponyboy.

"We'll figure this out, someday, right?"

"'Course we will." Ponyboy's voice is muffled by Darry's shirt so he turns his head to awkwardly look up at him. "We did that thousand-piece puzzle that one time, remember? We're invincible."

He laughs again and ruffles Ponyboy's hair.

"Fuck yeah we are."

[crazycurly-77]

A quiet place to work - pt. 1

As you entered the bullpen this morning there was pure chaos. Everyone was upset that they couldn't work. That was the reason why they called you at 7am and ordered you to immediately come to the office. 

“Hey, McGee! What have you broken this time?” you asked him nearing his desk. 

“Me? Nothing. But nobody can work anymore because of this error we get if we do anything in our software.”

He showed you the error on the screen for you to read. You read it two times then furrowed your brows and murmured “that's a database error.”

Gibbs and director Shepard had come to you and were not amused. 

“Y/N! Nobody can work anymore. Fix the error as soon as possible!” Jenny ordered loudly. 

“Any idea what's the cause of the problem?” Gibbs asked. 

He was not amused, but relatively quiet compared to the director. 

You took a deep breath and answered 

“I don't have any clue right now. I have to run a few tests and protocols to analyze this.”

“How long?” Gibbs stated. 

You shrugged your shoulders “don't know. Depends on what the problem is, when I find it and how it can be solved.”

“Work quickly. Everything is stopped at the moment and that can't be.” Madam director ordered and went to her office slightly annoyed. 

You watched her go, rolled your eyes, sat at your table and began to work. 

While you tried to concentrate your colleagues constantly came and disturbed you when they asked about the status of things. 

Your phone was constantly ringing too and you did your best to ignore it. After 1 hour of nearly constantly ringing Jenny stood in front of your desk and seemed to be angry. 

“I've tried to call you multiple times,” she said. “Yep. I've ignored you,” you just answered matter of factly. You didn't look up and just tipped away on your keyboard. 

Jenny on the other hand huffed and stormed away again. 

Tim tried to be invisible and Gibbs grinned. Tony was smiling widely, coming to you stating “wow, Y/N. Finding a whole new respect for you.”

You stopped typing and looked at him without saying a word. He laughed, held his hands up and retreated to his desk. 

After another 30 minutes the director came again to ask the status of the progress. She huffed, fumed and yelled at you “you are still not getting to the phone when I call you! I can't WORK!!!”

You just looked up, reached behind the phone and held up the loose plug, saying calmly but slightly annoyed “I pulled out the plug.”

Everyone was quiet, the atmosphere was tense and Gibbs was watching the events with interest and grinned from one ear to the other. At least he seemed to be having fun. 

Now Jenny was losing it and yelled again “you can’t do that! You have to be available!”

You stood up, leaned on your desk and replied as calmly as possible “yes, I can do that. It was very easy. Just pulled the plug. And I AM available. Otherwise you couldn't be standing here in front of me and snapping at me.”

A quiet snort could be heard from Tony and Gibbs, who were giving you mentally a medal. Tim has taken cover behind his computer.

Jenny then snapped “you are just as impossible as Gibbs! He is really rubbing off on you!”

“Why? Because maybe he just wants to do his work in peace and concentrate?”

Madam director gasped and opened and closed her mouth like a fish, not knowing what to respond. 

You stood up, put your hands on your hips and said slowly and threateningly “you can call me every minute and get on my nerves because you can’t work. But the only thing you’ll achieve is to tear me out of concentration and slow down the analysis and correction. If you want to contribute something productive, you can get me some fresh coffee. Working without coffee is bordering on physical assault”

You were about to explode, so you tried to compose yourself and keep as calm as possible. She was your big boss after all. 

So you pushed your cup into her hand, sat down and said “and now let me do my work in peace.”

With that this conversation was closed for you and you got back to concentrate on the problem and ran further protocols and tests. 

Jenny stomped away indignantly, the colleagues laughed loudly and Gibbs patted you on the shoulder “well done. I didn't know you could be so dangerous.” You were amazed and perplexed hearing these words from your boss. 

“Let me do my job and correct this shit” you huffed. 

He laughed briefly, smiled and replied “come with me, I know a place where you can work in peace and nobody will bother you. There's good coffee too.” 

You looked stunned at him, smiled and answered “I'm in.”

You both packed your things and went to Gibbs’ Truck. “Were are we going to?” you asked curiously. “Wait and see” Gibbs answered, smiling. 

In fact, he was driving to his house, you noticed in surprise. “Come inside and let's get some coffee” he stated. 

“Uhm….” You couldn't say a word. 

“Now. Come on” he ordered you rolling with his eyes. 

Quickly you got out of his car and followed him inside. He was standing in the kitchen and made some coffee. As he heard you enter he turned around “make yourself at home. You can sit in the dining room or in the basement. Just take a seat where you think you can work with concentration.”

So you took residence at the dining room table and started your laptop. Until you opened the needed programs a mug came into your view and the coffee smelled heavenly. You looked up at your smirking boss who told you “coffee with a lot of milk, I think it is, right?” 

You were speechless that he knew this and just nodded “thanks”. 

“You're welcome. I'm down in the basement. Call, if you need something.”

“Okay, will do.”

“Good.”

So Gibbs went downstairs and you began to work on the problem again. 

But after half an hour you had a feeling of being lonely, took your laptop and walked down the stairs that led to the basement, where Gibbs was working on his boat. 

Seeing you standing there he stopped in his work and watched you “you need something?” 

“Hm, yes. I'm feeling a little bit lonely up there. Can I work here?”

He laughed briefly “sure. You can sit on the workbench over there” he said and pointed to it. 

You smiled, walked to the place he showed you and whispered “thank you.” 

So the two of you worked in the basement and enjoyed the company and the silence. 

After another half an hour you cried out “I've got it!!!” 

Gibbs watched you intently and waited for your explanation. 

“I've found the reason for the error. Someone had interrupted a saving process and therefore corrupted the database. But thankfully I can repair this easily.”

“Good” was the only response you got, but you were nonetheless working on the repair again, typing away. 

A short while later you had done the repair, tested it and everything was good once more. The problem was solved and inwardly you patted yourself on your shoulder. 

So Gibbs and you drove back to the office to check, if everyone else could work again, too. And yes, they could. You were sooo happy!!! 

Only one task was left. You had to go to the director to inform her. You sighed and started to go to her, but you were held back by your upper arm. 

“I'm coming with you. Don't let yourself go in there alone.”

Entering her office Jenny growled “these are exactly the two I wanted to see. They're both the same.”

“It was a database error, but I could repair it. Just let me check quickly, if everything's okay on your computer. Then you can go back to work again.”

You checked the system and everything was fine once more. 

“Thank you.”

“That's my job.” You said. 

“I'm sorry for my behavior earlier. I have a due date to keep.” Jenny admitted. 

“It's okay, but when I can't work because I'm interrupted all the time, the correction needs more time.”

“Understand.” Jenny said and hung her head. 

Gibbs and you left her office. On the way to your desks, he pulled you aside and whispered in your ear

“Dinner. Tonight. Straight after work. I want to know more about you.”

If you want to know where the dinner leads, you have to read Chapter 2. 😊😉

----------------------------------------------

Here you will find the other chapter of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

-----------------------------------------------

[tiredfox64]

My honest chances of getting with the MK Men

Okay so basically this is me rating myself (cause my brain don’t shut up) on how likely it is that any of the mk men would date me. This will be MK1 mind you

Bi-Han: 0%-10%- Not a chance in hell. He doesn’t want to hear about my day, he doesn’t want to listen about my hyperfixations, he doesn’t like my hair, my body type ain’t it, he doesn’t believe I have mental illnesses, he hates that I take hot showers, the list goes on. That 10% is if I have the balls to bite back I think he’d like that.

Kuai Liang: 40%- He’d see me as a nice woman but would recognize that I don’t want to be mature all the time. And my definition of tradition is way different than his. Studded belts, raccoon tails, and Juicy Couture are not traditional.

Tomas: 80%- Okay, I’m biased here cause I love this man. But I genuinely don’t think he cares too much. If I’m loving, he will take me. The missing 20% is because I can get aggressive or heated quickly.

Syzoth: 50%-100%- I’d say 50% because he did have a family before so he might not want to move on which is okay. But I think he would like me cause I love reptiles and I’m not afraid to eat a cricket or two.

Rain: 50%- Being smart never stopped me from being a dumbass but I think he will see I’m still smart no matter what. Although I love this man to death I deadass think we would have fights cause he’s cocky.

Johnny Cage: 30%- He would think he’s too cool for me. Simple as that. Will he flirt with me? Maybe. Will he date me? Slim chance.

Kenshi: 70%- He chill tbh. I don’t think he would have a problem with my weight or my illnesses. We’ll find a way to vibe. But I’m not the first girl he would pick.

Raiden: 90%- Similar with Tomas he don’t care too much. He doesn’t get scared by me getting heated. That 10% is because we’ve lived different lives so it would be hard to find middle ground. I can’t take silence 😭.

Kung Lao: 70%- He’d love my family more than me. They make good food. I can cook too but he wants the whole family to bring him pupusas and Shepard’s Pie.

Geras: 0%- Nothing against me, he just has an important job and I respect that.

Liu Kang: 10%- Again I think this would be nothing against me he just loves his Kitana. But there is a tiny chance for me I feel like.

Reiko: 30%- He doesn’t like earthrealmers and I’m not sure he would like my body type. But I think he would love my attitude so that’s where that little percent comes from.

Shao: 0%- Nope, just nope. He hates earthrealmers. Wouldn’t give me the time of day.

Havik: 80%- Okay hear me out. I get points off because I’m religious (so I follow a god) and I am against anarchy. Other than that, he would love me. Like I feel like he would love a chubby girl. He’d love my hair, he’d love my tattoos, he’d love the way I express myself (being topless). I’d love to watch analog horror series with him. I’d give him a kiss every time I’d get scared.

Baraka: 0%- He had a family once and he doesn’t want to infect me. That’s reasonable.

Shang Tsung: 50%- Listen, I’d feel like he’d fuck with anybody. If I tell him how good my immune system is that gives me points. That means I’m durable to experiment on. And he can give me back shots while doing it.

Quan Chi: 10%- Nope, I’d lift my rosary up before letting him close. He was fucking with spirits I’d curse him out for that and he would not like me. He would like that I have an attitude.

Ermac: 0.01%-…well at least one of those fuckers inside of there would like me.

BONUS ROUND: KAMEOS (my favorites to be exact)

Mavado: 100%- Yeah he’s loyal to his clan but if I slap him and immediately kiss him after that’s it he’s done. He loyal to me and his clan after that.

Stryker: 50%- I’M good, everyone else in my life has a problem.

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.11 bffs with the rookies+ Melbourne in the summer

guys y/n's alr been doing so much idk how many more scandals I can come up with 😭 pls lemme know what situations yall would like to see these 4 in hehe 🫣 comment it or dm me my inbox is always open to yall 🥰

| Masterlist |

It had been a long few weeks before you could see your best friends once again, not having been able to attend any of the races for the rest till the summer break, but now? You were finally free and ready to cause problems for your favourite people.

You laughed to yourself as you landed at Melbourne Airport, having been to the Piastri household many times, so much so that his mother had begun putting a stocking out for you at Christmas, knowing that you'd probably be celebrating with the Aussies, much like Logan would be. He too had his own stocking.

You'd called his Mother beforehand, asking if it was okay to come over and she'd told you, she'd be keeping your favourite Shepard's pie ready. She'd also told you that Logan was staying over as well, having arrived with Oscar.

You remember all the times the three of you had spent in Oscar's room as teenagers, talking about everything and nothing at all them complaining and marvelling about racing, you listening and giving advice wherever you could. You went to them with all your problems and they to you.

You trusted each other with your deepest, darkest, secrets. You, Logan and Oscar, and then you met Arthur, and he had been an unlikely addition to your peculiar little group, but the three of you had soon come to realise just how similar the boy was, and decided it was only fair to adopt him into your weirdness.

"Two hours!" you whisper-yelled at yourself, looking at how much time you'd have to spend in the uber to get to the house, maybe more with traffic. So you did what you did best, just to pass the time.

You got out of the app, not knowing how much chaos could come from one simple tweet. Turning on some mind-numbing show on Netflix, you settled in till you could be with your best friends again.

The two hours went by faster than she realised as the Uber pulled up to the house, she told the driver to pull over, earning her a weird look. She paid him his fare and took her luggage right behind the house. Thankfully the old trellis was still there, a little rotten and overgrown with vines but still there.

She climbed up with practised ease, settling just outside her friend's window, where Oscar and Logan had been sharing the Aussies' room, just like when they were young.

She sat just outside the view of the two boys Logan who was sprawled on the bed scrolling through Instagram and Oscar on the fluffy mat right below, snacking on nachos, passing some to the American as they spoke.

She couldn't help but giggle, stopping as she almost slipped off the roof.

She pulled out her phone, trying not to fall to her death or alert the residents of the house.

She moved to see the boys' reaction, only to see him smiling, kicking his feet up.

"Oh my god, this is fucking adorable," she whispered to herself, clicking a picture, how they still hadn't noticed her was a mystery, weren't F1 drivers supposed to super attentive?

She went back to texting the unsuspecting boy.

"Huh?" you heard the boy whisper to himself, perfect, both were distracted, now was your chance.

You jumped through the open window, making the two jump and scream. It was high-pitched and loud, making the brunette's parents run up to their room.

"IS IT THE SPIDER AGAIN?" His mother yelled, "OH HELL, DID A SNAKE GET IN?" His father questioned, as they pushed open the door, eyes wide looking around their son's room, only to find the laughing girl and their boys standing on the far end of the bed, hiding behind one other.

"How do you always fall for that?" The girl asked laughing at the prank she had been playing on her friends since she started coming home with them from their races at 16.

"Oh, sweetie, how was your flight?" His mother said, pulling you in for a hug, she ruffled your hair a little as she held you at arm's length to look at you, "It's been far too long since you visited!" She smiled and said.

His father patted her shoulder as well, "Oscar, go get her bags." he said while walking out of the room, making the boy still in shock complain, "But dad,", "Now, Oscar!" Was the only reply that came, making the girl stick out her tongue at her friend.

"How are you my parent's favourite!?" He screamed walking out the door.

"Actually, it Y/n, me and theeeeen you," Logan spread gasoline on the fire, "SHUT UP LOGAN," the boy threw a few nacho chips at the blond.

The girl let herself fall on the bed, taking Logan's phone off the charger, the boy followed suit, resting his head on her stomach, the girl lowering her phone so he could see what she was seeing as well.

She opened Twitter to find her simple tweet had practically gone viral.

"Doesn't that bother you?" he asked making the girl raise her brow, "All these people who don't even know you and they hate you,"

She hummed as she wrapped a coil of blond hair around her finger, letting it loose and moving onto another, "I mean not really?" she started, "Sure it hurts when they call me just for hanging out with yall but it doesn't matter much cause at the end of the day I'm hanging out with yall," she explained, "It'd matter if y'all said something cause you know, you know me, but these don't mean shit, bruv," she said further, showing him the screen, where someone had suggested a club.

"Sounds good," he replied, beginning to doze off.

The flight had taken a lot out of the young girl, the jet lag finally catching up, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE IN THESE BAGS-", Oscar yelled as he walked into the room but quickly shut up as he saw his friends fast asleep. He pulled out his phone and quickly took a photo of the two for blackmail reasons and pulled a blanket over them.

Why he had to sleep on an air mattress, on the floor, in his own house, was a mystery to him but all of them had grown used to unpredictable chaos when they were together.

what i wouldn't do to have her life 😮‍💨 also next Y/n and Arthur get home aloned and his brothers go through the 5 stages of grief thinking they'd gotten their 20-year-old brother and his friend kidnapped.

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com @landosgirlxoxo @aquangxl @sachaa-ff

[pumpkinsy0]

I’ve been thinkin bout the purly sleepin together hc (pause) and I feel like out the Curtis gng Soda would be the most ENRAGED, like Darry would be like “wtf does Shepard needa be sleepin n cuddling w someone, let alone pony 4” and the rest would be just like “ew” but SODA? OUTRAGEOUS JEALOUSLY. I find it so cute that soda canonically sleeps and cuddles with pony to get rid of his nightmares (and it works☹️) ,, so for him to see him sleep with CURLY and have no nightmares would probably feel like betrayal… like how does pony, his BABY, trust this IMBECILE as much as he trusts soda??? (also I feel like he wouldn’t like the idea of them being alone together either lmao)

no ur exactly right actually, darry just,,,,doesnt know HOW to act about it, cause like YEA, they arent doing anything wrong, but thats part of the “problem”, how the hell is curly acting this chill,,,,what is goin on between em,,,,what is this sorcery,,,

w soda its like a “i thought we had something special💔” kinda thing, but not rlly bc if pony did it w like literally anyone else he’d have 0 issues w it, but w CURLY???? whats goin on here🤔🤔🤔, stop it rn or else

[blingblong55]

enemy: *playing with grim, in each bloop he poked their sides* bloop bloop bloop bloop!

enemy 2: carlos!

enemy: what!?

enemy 2: what -what are you doing?

enemy: we're blooping!

enemy: bloop bloop bloop bloop!

enemy 2: that's - that is a predator!

enemy: *looking adoringly into grims blown out eyes, like a cat* their not a predator, bloop bloop bloop-

After grim was rescued they wouldn't leave him, the reason why is because this specific enemy took pity on grim (They were starving them as a interrogation tactic but we're unaware grim already has eating problems that can cause them to go days without food) and then orange slices.

Grim then demanded they take Carlos home with them, and they did. This is in the time when General Shepard is scared shitless of Grim, so he approves to have Carlos transferred to taskforce 141

Carlos is now a protected and proud ally of TF 141 for this

Though there is tension because now Carlos is the favourite. He is the only one, aside from Ghost who can bloop Grim all day long without repercussions.

Price: Where's grim?

Everyone at the same time: Carlos

Price: figured

It gets to a point where Price(not Shepard anymore) only allows one "adoption per mission"

it's like the cat distribution system but a new friend for grim system

Safe to say Soap has plans to only be Grim's #1

[jgroffdaily]

The New Yorker Interview

Jonathan Groff Rolls Merrily Back

The actor reflects on his journey in reverse: from his latest Tony nomination to his arrival in New York, waiting tables and dreaming of Broadway.

By Michael Schulman, Photograph by Thea Traff

June 2, 2024

Excerpts:

One of the problems with “Merrily” is its protagonist, Franklin Shepard, whom we first meet as a slick, philandering forty-year-old Hollywood producer. It takes two acts to arrive at the charismatic musician he once was, with a lot of mistakes in between. Putting effect before cause gives each scene a painful irony—but how do you get an audience to care about a guy who’s off-putting for so long? “Merrily” is back on Broadway, in a production directed by Maria Friedman, and it’s finally a hit. One big reason is its Frank, played by Jonathan Groff, whose natural warmth shines through even in the character’s older, sleazier incarnation. When this revival opened Off Broadway, in 2022, The New Yorker’s Helen Shaw wrote, “Groff’s silky tenor and angelic face elevate a part that can sometimes be contemptible—for the first time, I could see Frank as both the dreamer who believes in greatness and the glib charmer who believes every lie he tells.”

Groff, thirty-nine, is now nominated for a Tony Award, alongside Friedman and his co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Lindsay Mendez. He was previously nominated in 2016, for “Hamilton,” in the scene-stealing part of King George III, and in 2007, for the indie-rock musical “Spring Awakening,” as the rebellious schoolboy Melchior Gabor—his breakout role, opposite Lea Michele. Groff had come to New York three years earlier, as a stagestruck, closeted nineteen-year-old from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where he grew up among Mennonites and was obsessed with the original cast recording of “Annie Get Your Gun.” “Merrily,” with its themes of aging, idealism, and the vicissitudes of show business, has had Groff thinking about his own path toward stardom. “Doing this show on Broadway at this time, moving to New York twenty years ago, I’ve now lived the time frame of the show,” he told me recently.

We were talking at a bakery north of Washington Square Park. Groff had glided in on a bicycle. As we spoke, he frequently welled up with tears—he’s a crier—but regained his composure by focussing on a pair of googly eyes affixed to the wall behind me. For our conversation, which has been edited and condensed, I had an experiment in mind.

Let’s start with the extremely recent past. Three days ago, you went to the Met Gala. How was your night?

The big headline for me was Lea Michele was pregnant, and I sat next to her at the table, holding her giant train thing while she peed. She took it off, and I was holding that and her purse. I saw Zac Posen, who was at our table, help Kim Kardashian up the little tiny stairs, and I said to him, “Wow, that was such a sweet moment of the gay helping the diva.” I was relating to him, like with me and Lea. It’s a zoo of famous people. I was going to go to the after-parties, but my body was just, like, “No.” I hit a wall from the shows and the epicness of the week, with the Tony nominations. So I was home by eleven-forty-five, and in bed by midnight.

The Broadway production of “Merrily” opened last fall. You told Jimmy Fallon that Meryl Streep came to your dressing room, where you have a bar named BARbra, and she took a video of you and sent it to Barbra Streisand. Who else has been there?

The first thing that comes to me is sitting in BARbra in October or November, drinking whiskey with Sutton Foster. I came to New York as a teen-ager and saw her six times in “Thoroughly Modern Millie”—now she’s in BARbra, dropping in for, like, an hour and a half after the show, and it’s so full circle. Who else? Patti LuPone was there—another big one for me. Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Martin McDonagh. Glenn Close sent back a bottle of champagne to be chilled in BARbra, which we drank together.

This show, like every Sondheim show, is very dense. Over the course of three hundred-plus performances, are there certain moments that have suddenly hit you a different way, or that you realize have a double meaning?

Double, triple, quadruple, infinity. I’m still having revelations, which really makes me believe that it’s a true work of art. Maria [Friedman] talks about how, with Sondheim’s writing, he “leaves space,” which is why it’s always new. He always needed to work with a collaborator, and she talked about the actor being an essential collaborator. She said the lyric he wrote in “Sunday in the Park with George”—“Anything you do, / let it come from you, / then it will be new”—is Sondheim’s directive to the actor.

The Tuesday after the Tony nominations, I got to the theatre, screamed with Lindsay [Mendez], screamed with Dan [Radcliffe]. [He chokes up.] Then I was singing “Growing Up”—“So old friends, don’t you see we can have it all?”—which has meant so many different things to me in the run of the show. At yesterday’s matinée, Dan and I were sitting on the roof singing “Our Time”: “Up to us, pal, to show ’em.” We’ve done it a million times. We look at each other, and Dan just fucking loses it crying. He had to look away from me. We talked about it afterward, like, “What the fuck was that?” I don’t know. Something just happened.

When you started the show, in 2022, at New York Theatre Workshop, were there kinks in your performance that you’ve since figured out?

I remember feeling shocked at being disliked for so long in the first half of the first act. It was very clear from the energy of the audience that they loved Mary in the opening scene—immediately, they’re on her side. I’m out here as a gay guy, playing this straight, two-timing Hollywood producer who’s cheating on his wife. I’m already having to feel confident in a way that I don’t in my everyday life, this sort of swagger. And the audience hates me. I remember feeling scared and self-conscious. Maria, in that preview process, really helped with that, because she talked about the value of when it’s real, and you’re not playing ugly just to be ugly. The one line that I really struggled with was “I’m just acting like it all matters so people can’t see how much I hate my life and how much I wish the whole goddam thing was over.” That is a really confronting thing to say.

People might say that this is one of the fundamental flaws of “Merrily We Roll Along”—that you’re confronted with this cynical, smarmy Frank in the first act, and you don’t really understand him until the show’s over. I can imagine going into this not knowing if that’s a solvable problem, because it hadn’t been for decades.

Well, Maria wanted us to find the truth. She really believed that these characters weren’t archetypes, that there’s humanity in the writing from beginning to end. I found it after that first week or two of previews, not being so afraid. The line that made me want to do the show was “I’ve made only one mistake in my life, but I’ve made it over and over and over. That was saying yes when I meant no.” I’ve done that a lot in my life, and there was something that felt like the closeted version of myself. George Furth and Stephen Sondheim—I can only imagine being gay at the time that they were gay. Even though Frank is straight, there’s so much repression that feels very familiar to me.

Except that you felt it at the beginning of your life and not the middle, as Frank does.

Yes and no. I still feel it. I’m still trying every day not to go back. I’m obviously out of the closet, so that’s a huge relief, but I’m always going to be reckoning with the Republican upbringing that I had. I’m always negotiating whatever homophobia I’ve got. It’s all in there, still. What we see as ugliness in the top of the show, to stand and say, “I want to fucking kill myself, I hate my life,” and not overdramatize it but try to find it in the most pure, truthful place—it’s still, every night, a meditation to go there.

Let’s wind back. In 2021, you played Agent Smith in “The Matrix Resurrections.” Any good stories about Keanu Reeves?

Getting to play Agent Smith really unlocked rage inside of me that I didn’t know was there. That’s helped me so much with “Merrily,” particularly in the first act. Learning the kung fu was, like, months of fight training. They called me the Savage, because I was so into it. We were shooting a big fight sequence with Keanu, and, after the first few takes, I remember Lana [Wachowski] at the monitor, like, “Jonathan, come over here. Who is that?” I was, like, “I don’t know.” And she was, like, “And what is that?” I said, “Gay rage?”

I’d never shot a gun before. I shot Keanu and thought I had peed my pants, because I had this hot feeling. You know when you pee yourself and it’s warm? It lasted about ten minutes and then it went away. I sat next to Keanu and said, “Keanu, I just had extreme heat from my groin for, like, ten minutes.” And he was, like, “You opened up your root chakra.”

You turned thirty that year [Hamilton]? How was that?

I remember it vividly. We were at the Public Theatre. There was a fire in the East Village, and the show was cancelled that night. I got a cupcake at the deli around the corner from my apartment, on Sixteenth Street, and ate it by myself. I can be a bit of a loner, so that was a happy birthday for me.

(On Looking being cancelled)

But, in 2015, Michael Lombardo was our executive at HBO, and I was crying into my salad at some restaurant in West Hollywood, trying to convince him to keep the show going, right before getting on the plane to come do “Hamilton” Off Broadway.

I loved Raúl Castillo, who played your love interest Richie on the show. I interviewed him around then, and he told me that, since he’s straight, you all had to teach him some of the mechanics of what gay people do.

Oh, yeah! God, I love him so much. I officiated his wedding in July.

Let’s go back to 2013, when “Frozen” came out. You voiced the iceman Kristoff and the reindeer Sven. How did that film change your life?

It’s funny—I remember recording some of “Frozen” in San Francisco. I would be teaching Raúl, like, how to lick my asshole while jerking me off—not teaching him, but sharing the ins and outs of gay intimacy—and then going into the recording studio on a Saturday and being Kristoff and Sven in a Disney movie.

When they showed me “Let It Go” for the first time, I was, like, Oh, my God, this will help millions of people come out of the closet. This is the gayest thing I’ve seen in my life! That was the thing about “Frozen”: I don’t think anyone who worked on it thought it was going to be a juggernaut. It’s so weird to think of this now, but when it came out it felt quite alternative, because there was no villain, really, and the love was between two women. Now there are, like, tissues with Elsa on it.

Now we’re moving backward to “Spring Awakening.” By the time it moved to Broadway, in 2006, you were the twenty-one-year-old lead of the coolest musical in town. What was your actual life like?

I was so not cool. The show was cool, and the music was cool. I had people dropping me off joints at the theatre. And I remember fully understanding the stark difference between who I was playing onstage and who I was in real life, which was an extreme theatre nerd who wanted to be in the ensemble of “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and never would have imagined playing Melchior. It’s his gravitas. And trying to tap into that side of myself, which was a side I’d never experienced before.

Tell me about your audition.

I went to the open call and knew who Michael Mayer was, because he had directed “Thoroughly Modern Millie.” But it was “Spring Awakening” and I was, like, There’s a beating scene? This is so intense! They called me in for Melchior, then had me sing “Hey Jude” in a falsetto, and Michael was, like, “That was your falsetto?” And I laughed at him sort of making fun of me. Tom Hulce, who was our producer, told me years later that he moved my head shot from the “No” pile into the “Yes” pile because I had laughed at Michael in the audition, and he thought, This kid has the ability to let Michael roll off his back. We should bring him back in the next month or two.

It was, like, ten people up for Melchior. They brought me in first, because they thought they would just see me and cut me. But I had worked so hard on the audition material. I remember calling my dad the night before the final callback and saying to him, “I know I can’t be this character all the way yet, but I—”[He tears up again.] I really got to get my shit together! Why does this keep happening to me?

Because we’ve gone on an emotional journey.

I guess so, in reverse! Fuck me. [Pauses.] I knew that I had it inside, if they would just give me the chance. That’s all I was trying to say, but I guess I can’t stop crying while I’m saying it.

In 2005, you made your Broadway début, as an understudy in “In My Life.” Now, this was the weirdest musical I’ve ever seen. As I recall, there were dancing skeletons in a song about how everyone has a skeleton in their closet, a giant lemon that came from the sky at the end, and a girl on a scooter who turns out to be a ghost. And it was written by the guy who wrote “You Light Up My Life,” who then came to a dark end.

And his son!

Yes, his son killed his girlfriend. What the hell was going on with that show? Did you ever go on?

I went on for the ensemble members. I was so excited! I was in my first Broadway show, at the Music Box Theatre, walking in where it says “Stage Door.” And you couldn’t give away tickets to see the show. People were coming to laugh at the show from the audience.

Like “Springtime for Hitler”?

Exactly. And the cast had to do the show, even though people were laughing at them, which is devastating for the actors. But we formed a little family. It’s the plight of the actor. You’re just out there, like Sally Bowles in “Cabaret.” I was twenty years old, so I was lit.

Had you been waiting tables?

Yeah. The whole year before that, I was at the Chelsea Grill, in Hell’s Kitchen. The day I got to New York—October 21, 2004—I moved to Fifty-first Street and Ninth Avenue, before it was super gay, and I walked down Ninth and got a job waiting tables. A week later, I waited on Tom Viola, who runs the charity Broadway Cares, and became a bucket collector. I’d watch the second act of shows and then collect the money at the end. I went to hundreds of auditions, trying to get my Equity card. That, to me, was “Opening Doors,” from “Merrily”—that moment of sheer will and ambition and ignorance.

We’ve now reached our finale, which is 2004. Can you tell me about the decision to move to New York?

My mom was a gym teacher and my dad is a horse trainer, and they didn’t really understand anything about the performing world. But my dad grew up on a dairy farm, and he was supposed to take over and become a Mennonite preacher, which is what my grandfather was. My dad didn’t like cows—he liked horse racing, so he sort of rebelled and did his own thing. My mom always says that nurse, secretary, or teacher were the options for women in a small town at that time, but her passion was sports, so she ended up being a coach.

So they understood the power of fanning the flame of passion. When I was a kid and into acting, they drove me to play practice. They drove me to community theatre. My senior year of high school, my mom drove me to New York to audition for this bus-and-truck tour of “The Sound of Music.” I got that tour, and deferred my admission to Carnegie Mellon. I made ten thousand dollars after a year on the road, and I learned so much from getting to act every day. I wanted to take my ten thousand and move to New York, and my parents were super supportive: “If you feel like you need to go to college, you can always go to college. But take a gamble and move to the city.” I’d worked at this theatre in Lancaster called the Fulton Opera House, where I’d met this girl who wanted to move to New York, so she became my roommate.

To me, “Merrily We Roll Along” is about how difficult it is to stay in touch with the person you were as adulthood knocks you sideways and forward. When you think about nineteen-year-old Jonathan coming to New York, do you feel like you’re the same person? What’s changed?

[He bursts into tears.] I can’t tell why I cry! When we were about to start rehearsal for “Merrily,” I would listen to “Our Time,” and I couldn’t sing it without crying. And, when I think about that version of myself—I think it’s because that person who brings you here does diminish. Maybe it’s the grief for that person. The whole reason that I’m here now is because of that person, but that person no longer exists.

But that person is still in there, somewhere. That voice is so quiet now, but it’s still driving my choices. You have to make choices. You get older, that pure inspiration dies, but it doesn’t have to go all the way away. I think that’s the whole point of the show, why it goes backward. Maria says that Sondheim put all of his regret into it, so that we could have less regret for ourselves. And perhaps the reason it ends with these people, with these versions of ourselves that we remember when we see it, is that it’s an invitation to remember and honor that person.

Why does that make me cry? Is it grief? Is it joy? I don’t know, but I’m so grateful for that purity and that optimism. The first month that I was here, feeling so lost and confused, I pulled the Bible that my Mennonite grandmother gave me off the bookshelf. She gave me that Bible before I left town. I was alone in the apartment thinking, What the fuck am I doing in New York? Or not even “what the fuck”—I didn’t swear until “Spring Awakening,” and when I would sing “Totally Fucked” I would get beet red. And I remember putting the Bible down and thinking, This is not the answer. This is not making me feel good. And then running to Central Park and standing in front of the Bethesda Fountain. I was nineteen, and I was, like, This feels better—but, like, What? Who am I? What am I doing here? I know I want to act, but I’m so scared. And gay. But it was something—some voice, some passion, some inspiration. Some something brought me here.

[edains]

mass effect fandom loves to say "i don't see shep romancing ash/kaidan in me1 and then romancing someone in me2* after the horizon scene as cheating" even though y'all never established that there was an official breakup - and you get an email from them saying that they want to be able to work things out

cause you know, thats what mature adults do in a relationship - communicate and try to work it out

and yet AND YET they will get huffy at kaidan for going on 1 (one) singular date with a doctor because he was pushed into it by his friends who wanna help him try to move on 2 (two) double years of shepard being dead - and try to act like thats the same thing ... huh

i think the fandom needs to realize the game/some ppl saying "shep is a cheater in this circumstance" is not saying shep (for that alone) is a horrible person or irredeemable (or that they as the player are horrible for that) but as a flaw they need to accept and deal with?

but they can't accept that their shepard may have actual human flaws and do things wrong, or that there are characters who don't just blindly follow along with everything they do and kiss their feet at every circumstance

there are issues with how the horizon scene is handled - on shepard's end but everyone wants to make it the vimire surivor's problem for having a realistic human reaction to whats going on

*i will say i will side eye the romanceable in me2 me1 squadmates for being totally cool with getting with shep w/no mention of their previous LI - i think there should've been a small bit of dialogue there with some reservations abt it/shepard saying they've moved on from that relationship but hey! fandom darlings get away with murder lmao

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Curly Shepard headcanons

-Once fought a seagull that tried to steal his fries and lost

-Undiagnosed autistic and ADHD (it’s the 60s, duh)

-Can and will do anything to get out of having to do English homework 

-His dad gave him so many concussions as a kid that Tim legitimately worries he has brain damage (but Curly just thinks he’s dumb)

-Is as fascinated by Ponyboy Curtis as Ponyboy Curtis is (seemingly) indifferent to him

-Physically incapable of shutting up even when he really REALLY should

-Is super close with Angela

-Is well aware Angela is scarier than he ever will be. Refuses to ever admit it

-Once got suspended from school because he cut the legs off a bunch of grasshoppers and put them on his teachers desk. He called them ‘grass walkers’ and thought he was hilarious

-Can’t stand Johnny Cade and Johnny Cade can’t stand him. Neither of them know why 

-The first and only time he went to a hospital is when he broke his arm falling off that telephone pole and that was only because the bone was coming out of the skin

-Will do literally anything to get Ponyboy Curtis’ attention. It doesn’t have to be good attention— he just needs Ponyboy to be looking at him with those huge green eyes as much as humanly possible

-Favourite foods are chorizo and red twizzlers

-Has beat up every single one of Angela’s ex boyfriends

-Hates the colour yellow

-Angela’s nickname is Angel, but when Curly’s mad at her he calls her ‘devil’ instead

-Will fight ANYONE who mentions his height (except Tim ‘cause he’s kinda scared of Tim)

-Once stabbed himself in the hand playing the knife game (yet another injury Angela helped him hide from Tim)

-Will paint Angela’s nails for her but only if she bribes him

-Is EXTREMELY good at first aid. Like, can make a tourniquet or a sling out of anything. Everyone thinks it’s because he’s had to patch himself up after he hurts himself in dumb ways, but really it’s because he took a couple free courses at the YMCA he never told anyone about. The instructor actually really liked him, because he actually tried and didn't cause problems even once

-Is the only person in living memory to win against Tim in poker, and it won him a stupid amount of respect from the rest of the Shepard gang. Tim maintains he cheated (he did not)

-Will never admit it but still loves when Tim ruffles his hair (one of the very few ways Tim ever shows his affection)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lmk what character you want me to do next!

[inuhodo]

Dan sighs, putting a hand to her face. She doesn't miss that she's keeping her fingers grouped—the index and the middle, the ring and the pinky.

its an honest job making the prothean cipher affect shepard more but its a living! minific the excerpt is from below the cut

Dan doesn't understand herself, sometimes. It's a terrifying feeling, because she's used to understanding herself and her motivations—she has a theory about herself that she won't share—but she's at a loss here. The Captain's quarters of the Normandy let her sit and consider this wrongness as they make their way to Noveria, at the very least.

Feros was… Difficult. Dan would have preferred to have washed her hands of every colonist there if it meant solving the problem faster, but that's not how it worked. She had to fight tooth and nail to knock them unconscious and make sure everyone survived. It meant more time with the spores everywhere, more time with the growing headache, more time with that damn plant.

She doesn't think it's the plant's fault for her wrongness, either. She wasn't in the colony long enough to be effected like that salarian, and Chakwas cleared everyone that was outside for no ill effects. And yet, Dan sits, staring at her hands.

How many fingers does she have? Five fingers, which she knows to be the correct amount a human should have, but it feels unwieldy in a way it never has before. She has to remember that she can move each finger independently.

Dan sighs, putting a hand to her face. She doesn't miss that she's keeping her fingers grouped—the index and the middle, the ring and the pinky. She wonders, then, if this feeling of what she can only describe as some sudden onset of body dysmorphia against the shape of a human was caused by whatever that asari had beamed into her brain.

So, protheans had three fingers, incredible. Humans have five.

Dan forces her fingers apart, curling each one individually. Five, she repeats internally. Five.