#She's lost her health and her husband and her business and now lives with her bitter daughter-in-law | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jowrites · 4 months ago

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Die for You- Jake Sim & Lee Heeseung Part 2

***Arranged marriage AU x Husband Jake! x Reader, friend Heeseung! x Reader***

TW: cursing, Jake is mean, sexual themes, suggestive themes, SMUT, aggressive sex, physical violence, unprotected sex, pregnancy, childbirth, mental health mentions: depression, suicidal thoughts, emotional cheating(sorta)

Read Part 1 Here

WC: 5,692

Jo's Full Masterlist Here Thank you for reading! Enjoy!

2 Months Later.

Since that night, things with Jake have been worse. When he does talk to her he’s always frustrated and lashing out about things she doesn’t understand. She has tried to be nice and talk to him, try to make things right and better but he avoids her like she’s glass he’s walking on. The times he’s nicer and interacts are when they have to go meet their families or go to events, to which Jake is a master as playing pretend and acting like everything is fine. The moment they’re home he retreats to his seclusion leaving her once again to her own loneliness.

She tries to busy herself with her work, as her family is opening a new part in their Gallery which she is fully in charge of. She engrosses herself in her work to distract her from the turmoils of her home, which she thinks is now a lost cause. She was going to wait things out a little longer before she hits the family with the news of her divorce. She can hold it out a little longer, and focus on her work and art. Of course, the person who brings a lot of light these days is Heeseung. Most times she finds his text messages very sweet and she can meet up at the gallery or for lunch together. He’s been a rock she can lean on during this time and she’s much appreciative of his friendship and support.

She had started making plans for the upcoming months, things to announce and how she would tell her family about her divorcing of her husband. Just how her family would react. Of course, her brother knew and couldn’t wait. He had been encouraging her and as a lawyer himself, he couldn’t wait to put the Sim family back in their place. Especially his so-called brother in law. But now, as YN sits alone in her living room, the sun goes down as the weather outside gets gloomy matching how she feels. Everything she planned goes out the window now.

She’s pregnant.

Not only was she pregnant, but she’s been pregnant with her husband's baby. The man she was planning to divorce in the upcoming months. She sat there crying and wallowing in her own sadness. She pitied herself. But this is what they wanted, right? This is what they were trying to achieve for their family's sake? To play pretend as one happy family. There was nothing happy about this home, or the life she lived. She distracts herself with work so she doesn't have to let her depression hold her captive and succumb to it. Just then, she looked over outside, just as the rain started coming down. She walked over to the window and overlooked the balcony.

She didn’t want to bring a child into this home if it wasn't filled with love. This child didn’t deserve this. Would it be better if she just left? S she looks out onto the balcony, it looks so inviting. Would it welcome her with open arms and help her embrace the end? As she thought of that, she sobbed louder and pushed herself back. Sitting on the floor and moving as far away from the door as much as possible. She picked up her phone and called the one person who could make her better. The one person who knew how to hold her and care for her. Heeseung.

It wasn’t long until Heeseung was walking through the door. He walked into darkness, the only light being the entrance light from when he walked in. He quickly began turning on some lights to which he found YN’s small figure on the floor, her knees curling to her chest as she stared at the floor.

“YN,” he said, crouching down to her, his voice breaking. His heart broke from her.

He did what he could only think and embraced her, pulling her into his arms and lifting her off the floor and taking her to the couch. He wiped some of her tears and placed a blanket over her. Her body and mind were numb and she just sat there, staring. He walked over to the kitchen and began to make her a cup of tea and got her some water as the kettle ran.

“Can you drink some water for me, please?” he asked, handing her the bottle and she grabbed it and sipped it slowly. He took it back, smiling and patting her head in reassurance.

“I…I’m so ashamed,” she said, her voice cracking as she cried.

“Why? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asked. “Do you want to tell me?”

“I…I thought…” she tried to say it but all she wanted to do was cry.

“It’s okay,” he said, pulling her into his arms and holding her. “I’m here, it’s okay.”

“I thought of jumping, Hee,” she said, whispering out and she could feel his body stiffen.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he said. “YN…don’t you know how loved you are?”

She began to cry some more and Heeseung just held her tighter.

“I don’t want to bring this baby into a household like this,” she said.

“YN, listen to me,” he said, pulling away and gently pulling her head to look at him. “No matter what happens, this baby will be loved. This baby will be cared for and have the best life. This baby is amazing and it could be just what you need right now. Please don’t give up or ever think like that again. This is so special.”

She nodded, the tears in her eyes coming down slowly.

“They say babies can feel everything a mother feels and it could have consequences…Heeseung, I don’t want to be sad anymore,” she said.

“I promise you, I’ll make sure you’re never sad again, even if I have to beat some sense into that idiot husband of yours.”

*******************

“Well, at least she can’t leave me now,” Jake said, shrugging and sipping his whiskey.

“That’s what you’re thinking about? Seriously?” Jay asked, his brow raised. “You’re such a dick!”

“Sim Jaeyun!” Just then, Heeseung came storming into his office, his fists clenched and anger in his voice. He stormed over to Jake and grabbed him by the collar. Jay stepped in, trying to push Heeseung off which Heeseung quickly pushed Jay aside.

“What’s your fucking problem?” Jake asked.

“My problem? Mine!? What’s yours? You have a pregnant wife to whom you’ve done nothing but ignore and abandon and you’re asking me what my problem is?” Heeseung said.

“Yeah, exactly! That’s my fucking problem,” Jake said.

“You dick,” Heeseung said, punching Jake in the face and making him stumble back. “YN is not a problem! You’re the problem!”

“If you care about her so much then you should have married her!” Jake screamed.

“I should have! It should have been me! At least I would have loved her and cherished her for what she’s worth,” Heeseung screamed back.

Both Jay and Jake stopped in their tracks.

“What do you mean?” Jake asked.

“Oh man, I need a drink,” Jay said, quickly turning around and grabbing a bottle from Jake’s bar.

“Me, it should have been me! I wanted to marry her first! I love her!” Heeseung screamed, the tears in his eyes now falling. “And you, you don’t even deserve her and she’s miserable.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jake asked.

“You did it before me, it was already done,” Heeseung said. “But no, that doesn’t mean we can ignore the fact you’re awful to her. She doesn’t deserve this treatment and you either square up or I swear to God.”

“Jesus, Heeseung…” Jake said, sitting down and holding his jaw.

“And now she’s having Jake’s baby, how shitty,” Jay said.

“Yeah, how shitty,” Heeseung said with venom in his voice. “I want to hit you again, so bad.”

“Look, I-I know…things aren’t good between us…I just…fuck!” Jake said, standing up and walking around.

“Why do you act like that?” Jay asked.

“Like what?” Jake asked.

“Why do you treat her like that? Why do you push her away and not even try?” Heeseung clarified. “She at least has the right to know.”

“Yeah,” Jay said.

Exactly. Why was Jake this way?

When Jake got home, the lights were dim and the place was quiet. His jaw was sore from Heeseungs punch but he knew he deserved it. He deserved all the heat and to be now stuck to this life for the rest of his days. As he made his way through, he heard a voice. He stopped at the corner and saw her back facing him as she sat on the couch talking.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way, but don’t worry…I’ll love you from the two of us. I promise to be happy so you don’t have to feel any pain. I promise I’ll take care of you and I won’t ever think that again. I’ll make sure you know what it feels like to be born from love.”

Jake couldn’t take it, he quickly turned away, inhaling and exhaling. His anxiety came out and he was doing everything to suppress it.

Get it together, Jake. Get it together, that’s your baby too.

Just then he stepped out into the living room, YN jumping from his presence and standing up. She turned around and Jake could see her puffy eyes and the paleness of her skin. She looked sad and he could only feel guilty.

“There’s some dinner in the kitchen if you’re hungry,” she said as she began walking away towards her room.

“Y-YN?” He called out after her.

“I’m going to bed,” she said, not stopping in her tracks.

“YN, please…” he pleaded, but she didn’t stop. She just closed the door behind her and Jake stood there, defeated.

Throughout the weeks YN had been ignoring Jake. Jake doesn’t even hear from her most times and the only time he gets a text from her is about the baby. Heeseung is over a lot and ignores Jake just as much. He will sit back and watch as Heeseung cares for his wife, the way he should be caring for her. Jake always steps back and when he thinks of doing something for YN, Heeseung is always one step ahead of him and doing it first. He feels like he lost and he didn’t know what to do about it. This has been going on for a month now, YN and Heeseung. Never Jake and YN.

“I think I should give up,” Jake said, twirling the ice in his glass, his head placed on his arm resting on the table.

“Like…give up on life or…” Jay asked. “If you plan to sign off from life, I’d rather you not tell me about it. My subconscious wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt of not stopping you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jake said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh,” Jay said.

“I meant on YN…she’s made it clear she wants nothing to do with me now,” he said.

“Oh, okay now you’re making sense,” Jay said.

“It will always be Heeseung now, and maybe I should let it happen,” Jake said.

“You’re a coward, Jake,” a voice said, startling Jay in his seat.

“Dude, you have to stop barging in like that,” Jay said.

“What are you doing here?” Jake asked, sitting up and frowning at Heeseung.

“It’s my bar? Besides, we need to talk,” Heeseung said.

“Is this when you tell me you’re taking YN away and I’ll never see you two or the baby ever?” Jake sighed.

“Not at all, as much as I want to, but no,” Heeseung said.

“How could you, Heeseung? You know how much I hate cheaters and you just go and sweep in like that and help my wife cheat,” Jake said, clenching his fists.

“First of all, she didn’t cheat on you, second of all, you deserve this treatment. It’s exactly what you did to her, is it not?” Heeseung said.

Jake went silent, understanding all too well he deserved this.

“You’re such a coward, Jake, and you don’t deserve her. But, as much as it pains me to say this, she needs you. You need to man the fuck up and start acting like a real partner,” Heeseung said.

“I’m trying, she doesn’t let me in,” Jake said.

“You’re not trying. Don’t think I haven’t noticed when I’m there and you just step back and not even insert yourself, do you think she wants this?” Heeseung said. “YN is my friend, Jake. I care about her a lot but she’s made it very clear to me that me and her are friends and no matter what she’s still staying loyal and devoted to you.”

“Doesn’t make any sense, maybe she is crazy,” Jay said and Heeseung gave him a look and he shut up.

“She hasn’t replaced me?” Jake asked.

“There was nothing to replace, you neglected her from the start! If you just tried from the beginning you wouldn’t be so miserable,” Heeseung said. “I’m not here to fix things between you two, and a part of me still prays for your downfall but I care about YN and I know what she needs. I want her to be happy and if that’s with you then you better make it fucking happen. I’m leaving, make sure you fix this, Jake. I won’t hesitate to punch you again.”

Heeseing stood up, glaring down at Jake before nodding to Jay who waved as Heeseung walked away.

“Man, you better listen. Heeseung just did you a solid.”

Jake was surprised to see YN home in the living room. She was sitting on the floor, her hair up in a messy bun and Jake couldn’t help but smile to himself at how nice she looked. Jake has never had issues with her looks, he always found her beautiful. But now as he looked at her, really looked at her, he could see why everyone praised her. She wasn’t beautiful, she was ethereal. He understood it now and he slowly walked over and took a seat on the couch and saw that she was cutting up pieces of magazines.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Hm? Oh, didn’t hear you come in,” she said, ignoring his question.

“I’d really like to talk if you're okay with that?” he asked, sitting down on the floor in front of her.

“I’m listening,” she said, not looking at him but gluing some pieces to a scrapbook. He realized she was scrapbooking.

“YN…I’m really, really sorry for everything. The way I’ve treated you this past year…I’m so sorry and I want to make things right between us. I want to fix this,” he said.

“Fix what? We don’t have a relationship, remember?” she said. “You didn’t even give us a chance.”

“I know, and it’s all my fault…I was being a coward and I was being selfish. I was angry and I took it out on you and for that I’m sorry,” he said.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why?” he asked, not understanding.

“Why did you feel that way? Why did you marry me?” she asked.

“My dad…look, things weren’t doing well and I was taking one for the business and I was angry. I was really angry at my father that I had to do this for his own mistakes, and I felt like I was losing my dignity and freedom and I hated it. I wasn’t angry at you, but the situation and I took it out in the worst way possible, on you and you didn’t deserve that. I’m so sorry,” he said, pleading.

Just now that he got that off his chest, he realized just how much he messed up. And Heeseung was right, he was a coward.

“Mm, understandable. Doesn’t justify anything though,” she said.

“I know, I’m not here to make excuses. You don’t even have to forgive me. I just want to make things right…I want to be here for you, for our baby…I want to try. You’ve been nothing but nice and I never once hated you. I hated myself,” he said.

“I forgive you,” she said.

“I’m really-wait, what? You do?” he asked.

“I don’t want to hold onto anything that will only bring me pain, the baby needs to feel only happiness and love and I need to stay in this mindset for her,” she said, smiling down and holding the small bump of her stomach.

“Her? It’s…we’re having a girl?” he asked.

YN nodded.

“I found out today,” she said.

“Oh my God…we’re having a girl!” Jake reached over and pulled YN into a tight hug, catching YN off guard. “Oh, sorry…I just got excited.”

“I couldn’t wait, I wanted to know as soon as possible,” YN said.

“Can I come next time? I would like to be there for the next appointment and every other after,” he asked.

“Yeah, it’d be nice if you came for once. Heeseung came a few times and my doctor would be glad to finally see the dad,” she said.

Heeseung. Jake had to know.

“Heeseung…look, I totally understand if you cheated and if you have feelings for him, I get it and I probably deserve it,” Jake said.

“Oh, never,” YN said. “Just like you promised, I promised too. And Heeseung, I care about him but he’s only a friend. We’re great friends and he’s been amazing the past few months.”

“Oh thank God…I hate cheaters,” Jake said, sighing in relief.

“Why do you hate them so much? I mean, I understand but, the way you talk about it…” YN said.

“My dad…he cheated on my mom with multiple women and it killed her. Literally, that’s how she died by taking her own life,” Jake said. “I promised I’d never get like him and did everything to avoid becoming him. But here I was, always quick to fix his messes.”

“Oh, I had no idea. I’m sorry that happened,” YN said.

“I work for the company and try to fix his doings but it’s getting exhausting and I’m tired,” he said.

“Then stop, quit,” YN shrugged, going back to her scrapbooking.

“I don’t think…I don’t think that’s possible for me, I’m supposed to take over the company in a few years,” Jake said.

“Sure you can. Sell the company, it’s not doing well anyways, right?” she said. “You can work for mine.”

“Yours?” Jake asked.

“Jake, did you know the terms your father got when you married me?” YN asked.

“No, actually…I thought he just got money to get out of his debts,” Jake said.

“He signed it over to my father in 2 years time,” she said. “My fathers company is going to completely take it over and run it as a subsidiary. Your father, you, will have 10% while my father has 90%. It won’t be yours anymore.”

Of course. Another dumb move on his father’s part.

“So you’re telling me…” Jake said, frowning.

“This was all a waste,” YN said. “You weren’t saving the company for your family, you saved it for mine.”

Jake closed his eyes and exhaled loudly, his head going low.

“It wasn’t all a waste,” Jake said, finally looking up at YN.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I got a beautiful and kind wife, and a baby girl out of it,” he said, smiling at her.

She blushed and smiled back at him, nodding.

“I promise, going forward everything is going to be different. I want to get to know you more, be here for you…for our baby. I’ll even die for you if I have to, so please don’t give up on this,” Jake said. “Let’s fall in love.”

**************************************

4 Months Later

The past few months were busy. YN and Jake spent a lot of time getting to know each other, going on dates and getting to know each other's quirks and hobbies. YN finally understood Heeseung now, Jake wasn’t just an entitled, spoiled chaebol. He was actually humble, funny, and very kind. Extremely different from the first year of their marriage. Jake had a great personality and he was extremely attentive and smart. He ended up quitting his father’s company and switched sides, getting a job working under his father in law now, taking YN’s advice.

Most days he gets off early and will pick YN up at the gallery, which had a successful opening of the new exhibit. YN’s passion for art inspired him. He learned she was artistic herself and was an incredible painter. Her father opened the gallery for her and her love for the arts. Every year they give out scholarships through their foundation to students who want to pursue the arts and Jake really loved that. He had a passion for playing the violin, which he had to give up to do business under his father’s demand. He still craves the strings and bow, the sounds it makes and the rhythm. He yearns for it, but holds himself back as it is too late.

Jake and YN were much happier. They were both putting in the efforts to build their life together, and feelings were growing. Jake was ready to throw himself at her feet, but he was going at her pace and taking things slow. He respected that. Heeseung was still very much involved, Jake could see how he had a different relationship with her, and he always felt proud about it. But he was also happy YN had a friend like Heeseung in her life, and the time he wasn’t there for her, he was glad Heeseung was there to hold her up.

YN was nearing her 8th month, the both of them preparing for the arrival of their baby. YN and Jake still had separate rooms, but the past couple months YN has found herself in Jake’s bed more and more. Most nights, when she aches and is uncomfortable Jake is right there helping her get comfortable and giving her body massages which have her going to sleep. He doesn’t mind it, he actually really likes that she’s been sleeping with him and he hopes she feels comfortable moving into his space fully soon.

The two of them are currently sitting in the baby's room, finishing up the last touches. YN was on the floor folding some clothes they received from the baby shower held the day prior, as Jake was finishing up putting up a shelf. The room was pretty, with neutral light colors and bunnies spread around. They decided to go with a subtle bunny theme, Jake giving the baby the nickname “bun” and it just was cute and stuck with them. YN was really excited now, knowing she was going to be well loved.

“There, done!” Jake said as he finished up, putting the drill down and looking at YN, who sat there in her own world. “What’s on that mind of yours?”

“Hm? Oh nothing, just look how cute these are, they’re so small. Is she going to be that small?” YN asked, holding up a onesie.

“She’s only what? 4 pounds now? She seems small, but babies are small,” he said, taking a seat next to her and admiring her.

“She feels like she’s more, that’s for sure,” she said.

“I can’t wait to meet her, I hope she looks like you,” Jake said, reaching over and rubbing her belly, feeling the slight kicks.

“Why just me? It’d be cute if she looks like us both, I think,” Yn said.

“Because you’re beautiful, she should be just as beautiful as her mama,” Jake said, leaning his head on her shoulder, his hand still absentmindedly rubbing circles on her stomach.

“You’re very nice looking too, don’t sell yourself short,” Yn said, placing her hand on his.

“Hm, but you’re better,” he said. “I’ll have the two prettiest girls in my life, and I can’t wait.”

“She’s kicking a lot today,” YN said. “She kicks a lot when you’re around, it’s like she knows.”

“I hope she knows, it’d be a real shame if she didn’t,” Jake said.

“She does, she gets excited. But it’s late, she should be sleeping now so her mom can rest soon,” YN said.

“Hey, little bun,” Jake said, leaning down to her belly, making YN giggle. “Mommy needs to go to sleep soon, it’s time for bed.”

“She just kicked again,” YN said.

“She’s already rebelling against authority, oh God,” Jake groaned.

“Good. She’ll be her own person, making her own choices,” YN said.

“Of course, she’ll have the best life,” Jake agreed. “Hey, YN?”

“Hm?” She looked at him and met his eyes.

His stare was so intense and they had this softness and sincerity behind them.

“I know she wasn't created based on love, but I hope you know she’s been blossoming because of love, and that’s important to me too…and I love her, and would die for her…just like I love you and would die for you,” Jake confessed.

After all these months, the two of them have yet to share that confession with each other. Until now, Jake stepped up and pushed away his worries. He learned a lot in the past few months, and came back to himself and his senses. And he was grateful.

YN reached up and held his face in her hand, him automatically leaning into her touch.

“I love you too, she’s going to love you as well,” YN said.

Jake leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss. This was the first kiss since that night, the two of them solidifying their loyalty and love in this kiss. It was intense and passionate, slow. Jake had his hand in her hair holding her face to his, pulling her closer to him. This felt right, everything felt right in this moment. All their worries, the past, was gone. And the future looked bright and full of life. This was meant to be.

When YN pulled away, she giggled at him as he pouted, her fingers coming up and touching his lips, which he kissed them.

“You’re so cute,” she said.

“I wasn’t done,” he said, pouting.

“There will be plenty more kisses, trust me,” she said.

“I hope so…which reminds me, move in with me?” he asked.

“Uhm…we live together?” she said, confused.

“No, I meant like in my room. You sleep there anyways and we are married after all. Move your stuff into the room and share it,” Jake said.

“Okay,” she said.

“Yes! Let’s get this baby to bed,” Jake said, getting up and lifting YN off the floor.

“Jake, I’m heavy!” She said and he shook his head.

“Not even. Plus, I’m strong,” he winked as he carried her to their now shared room and placed her on the bed.

“Thank God for that.”

*********************************

Around 2 Months later

“Oh my God,” YN moaned out in pain.

She was currently in a nightgown, her body hunched over the bed as she felt another contraction hit her. It was currently 3 am, and Jake and YN were currently at home waiting for their midwives to arrive. Jake was by her side, rubbing her back as she moved her body back and forth, breathing out and trying to ride out this contraction. Heeseung came back through the door with more towels in his hand and placed them on the bed and floor.

“I don’t know what these are for, but since you asked here you go,” He said.

“Thanks, are they here yet?” Jake asked and Heeseung shook his head. “Heeseung, you’d help me deliver this baby if we need to, right?”

Heeseung’s face went white and Jake could see the anxiety rush through him and shook his head.

“Oh my God, you guys are so dramatic,” YN said, standing up and continuing with her breaths. “It was just a contraction.”

“They’re getting closer together, love, you might be ready to push soon,” Jake said.

“I am not going to traumatize Heeseung like that,” YN said.

“I appreciate it,” Heeseung said, folding his hands together in grace towards her.

“You guys are so loud, and why is YN yelling?” Jay came into the room, rubbing his eyes.

“YN’s water broke,” Heeseung said,

“Holy shit! Well, I’m out, good luck!” Jay said, turning to walk away before Heeseung could grab his shoulder to stop him.

Why were Heeseung and Jay over? Simple. Jake had a boys night, last one before he became a dad and they passed out on his couch. Jake was woken up by YN an hour ago because her water broke and Jake immediately went to the plan. It was already planned to have a home birth and have aid by the midwives, so this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. They just needed the midwives. The sound of the doorbell rang and Jay immediately went to open it. In walked a frantic Sunghoon and behind him were YN’s parents. Jay stepped aside as they rushed in, asking if she had the baby yet. Jay didn’t sign up for this chaos.

“Where is she? Is she pushing?” YN’s mother asked as she rushed in down the hall. “Heeseung, Jake, oh dear, are you okay?”

“Oh, hi mom,” Yn greeted, YN’s mother coming up and kissing her cheek before greeting Jake and Heeseung as well.

“How are you feeling? How’s the baby?” YN’s mom asked.

“Are you ready to be a dad? You have an even bigger duty now, Jaeyun,” YN’s father said, coming up and squeezing Jake’s shoulders. “Oh, Heeseung. Didn’t see you there. Wait, Heeseung?”

“We had a boys night and she went into labor,” Heeseung explained.

“The midwives are here, I’m gonna go. YN and Jake, congrats and good luck!” Jay said, walking into the room and waving, just as the 2 midwives came in behind him.

“Hey mom and dad, how are we doing?” Hanna, one of the midwives asked.

“Oh thank God,” Heeseung said. “I’m gonna wait outside.”

“I’ll join you, you were drinking, you said?” Mr. Park said, following Heeseung out.

“I’ll make you one,” Heeseung said.

“Ah, good man! Good luck, YN…Jake don’t pass out!” Mr. Park yelled out just as the door closed.

“Oh thank God,” YN said, sighing out and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“A bit chaotic, huh?” Joan, the other midwife said.

“Too chaotic,” YN said.

“Jake, how’s her contraction times?” Hanna asked, just YN started groaning in pain from another one. Joan immediately going and aiding her, along with Mrs. Park.

“They’re about 6 minutes apart,” he said.

“Great, should we get in there and see what’s going on?” Joan said, putting on some gloves.

Marisol Sim was born a couple hours later. Her soft cries filled the room after YN’s last push and the midwives quickly got to work, cleaning her a bit before placing her on YN’s chest. YN and Jake couldn’t hold in their cries as Jake sat behind her, kissing the top of her head and praising her unconditionally. She was so small, so quiet even with her little cries. She was absolutely perfect.

“Congratulations! It’s a girl!” Joan exclaimed. “Dad want to come over and help with the umbilical cord?”

Jake nodded, wiping his tears and gently removing himself from YN, which he did not want to do but he had other things to do.

“Jake, she’s perfect,” YN cried.

Hanna helped YN clean the baby up and soon she was wrapped in her little diaper and blanket. YN was cleaned up and placed back in bed and the midwives finished up and left. YN’s mother stayed and cried along with them, amazed at her new granddaughter. She wanted to give the two some privacy and so she exited the room to walk the midwives out and show her appreciation. The sun was coming up by now, the sun illuminating the room and Jake couldn’t help but snap a photo on his phone at the sight in front of him. YN in bed, holding their baby.

“Do you want to meet your daughter?” YN asked, looking up at Jake.

Jake came over and held out his arms. YN gently placed him in Jake’s arms as Jake held her in front of him, gently rocking her and looking at her with the softest eyes. He couldn’t control the tears that came out of his eyes.

“She’s perfect, baby, she’s absolutely perfect,” Jake said, crying harder now as he smiled down at her. YN cried and reached out for them. Jake came over and sat with YN as they looked down at their daughter together. He couldn’t believe just over a year ago where they were and now they’re in their bed, together, full of unconditional love as they share the love with their daughter. This baby really did change things for the better.

“I want another one,” Jake said, suddenly.

“Not gonna happen for a while, that was brutal,” YN said.

“You did so well, baby, I’m so proud of you!” He looked over and gave her head a quick kiss.

“We both did, didn’t we? We came together and got our shit together right on time, for her,” YN said.

“Shh, baby, language!” Jake said.

“Oh please,” YN said, rolling her eyes.

“But you’re right. She changed everything for the better. I love you both so much!” Jake looked down and saw YN was looking up and smiling at him. He leaned down and kissed her in a passionate kiss.

“Okay, coming in, let me see my grandbaby!” Mrs. Park announced herself, opening the door and walking in with Heeseung and Mr. Park behind her.

Heeseung smiled at the sight, Jake and YN together with their baby. It didn’t sting as much, YN was happy and that’s all that mattered to him. Jake got it together and was an incredible man to be with her. He was proud of his friend. Jake looked up at Heeseung and the two of them smiled, both of them understanding at that moment. Both of them would absolutely die for them.

#kpop writers #kpop multistan #enhypen #kpop fanfic #enhypen scenarios #lee heeseung #sim jaeyun #jake sim

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 9 months ago

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Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 29

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist

Dieter Bravo X OFC (Natalia)

Series Rating: Explicit (18+) Word Count: 12.4k

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with the resulting mental health struggles. Just when she has settled into her new normal, she meets a handsome stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor with a heart-breaking past named Dieter Bravo. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, drug use, alcohol abuse, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “You came in here just to cause chaos, didn’t you?”

It was midday on a Friday, when I found myself putting the laundry away in the bedroom as I waited for Dieter to return home from a meeting. An anxious feeling drove me to keep busy since the meeting was about the “tell all” interview he was planning to do. I was humming along with the radio that was just barely audible through the speakers in the living room and tucking socks into a drawer when a piece of clothing landed on my head. I sighed, pulling it from my face as I turned toward the doorway. I narrowed my eyes at Dieter, who was standing there in nothing but his black jeans with his arm leaned against the door frame above his head. He eyed me with a flirty smirk on his face.

I scoffed, “What am I now, your dirty laundry basket?” I turned to throw his shirt into the hamper as he made his way over to me with a chuckle. His hands immediately snaked around my waist, pulling me tightly against his chest while his mouth searched out the spot behind my ear that always got me going. Instinctively, my fingers reached to tangle into his hair. My humming turned into a quiet moan as my skin broke out in goosebumps from his touch. This felt like a distraction. I managed to gather my thoughts well enough to focus on extracting the news I had anxiously been awaiting.

I tightened my grip on his hair, “How did the…uhh…meeting go?”

He groaned, “Eso no es importante en este momento.” (That’s not important at the moment.)

Taking a minute to translate that to the best of my ability, I leaned away slightly, pulling his head backward by his hair to make him look at me. “Por que?” (Why?)

Dieter arched his eyebrow and gave me a wide smile, now running his hands up and down my body, “Mi estrella est�� aprendiendo rápidamente. Eso es jodidamente sexy.” (My star is learning fast, that’s so fucking sexy.)

My brows drew down together as I pursed my lips, “You lost me…but I don’t think that answered my question…It actually sounded a little dirty…”

He gave me a cocky smile before leaning in to kiss me gently - briefly stopping to whisper against my lips, “Te mostraré sucio.” (I’ll show you dirty.)

I wasn’t given a chance to respond before Dieter firmly pulled our bodies together for a deeper kiss, angling my head backward allowing his tongue to seek out mine. His hands found their way down to the back of my thighs, gripping tightly to lift me and move toward the side of the bed. A high-pitched squeal slipped through my lips as he tossed me onto the mattress. Within seconds, he was straddling my hips and pinning my arms above my head with one hand as he continued the assault with his mouth on my neck. My giggles trailed off into low moans as he occasionally stopped to murmur softly in Spanish against my flushed skin. I had no idea what he was saying. He could have been reading from the dictionary for all I cared, as long as he was doing it in his husky bedroom voice that always ignited a blaze inside of me. I almost forgot about the meeting, but somehow managed to come back to it. I buried my face into his hair as I spoke up, “Is there a reason you’re trying to distract me from talking about your meeting?”

He chuckled nervously into my neck before shifting to lay beside me, “There isn’t much to talk about. It’s happening and I have final say over the content and editing…actually…I have full creative control over the whole project.”

He was casually looking anywhere but at me now. I narrowed my eyes at him, “Why do you need full creative control of an interview?”

He dug his teeth into his bottom lip, then shrugged.

I sat up and looked down at him, “Dieter, what did you get into?”

He grimaced slightly, “Well…I had an idea…and they liked it.”

I widened my eyes and tilted my head slightly, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. “And this idea was…what?”

He took a deep breath, scratching at his chin before he looked over at me.

“They approved a four-part docuseries.” He gave me a fake cheesy smile.

My shoulders dropped, fearing the answer to my next question. “What does that mean exactly?”

He sat up, crossing his legs as he turned toward me with a determined look on his face.

“I would like for you to do it with me. I wanna show everything…the therapy sessions…everything that I deal with on a daily basis…all of it. I wanna be open about what happened and about you… and our life now. I feel like it’s important to show the whole journey.”

I gave him a gaping stare as I took in his words, knowing he could see the shock on my face. I couldn’t believe he wanted to do it this way. “So, you want cameras here…filming our daily life? Is that what you mean?”

He held up his hands, like he was trying to calm a scared animal, “Yes, but hear me out…I’ve got several smaller projects coming up. So…I figure it would be a good time to do it since we’ll be doing a lot of self-care planning and trying to figure out the logistics. I want people to see what it takes and… that it can be done. You can be involved as little or as much as you want, but I would love it if you’re by my side for it all. The caretaker role is just as important as my role in recovery…and I want people to know how amazing you are.”

I knew where he was coming from and I understood it, but I was having a hard time with the thought of cameras invading our personal space. I sighed, squeezing the bridge of my nose. I had said that I would support him in his awareness projects, but I wasn’t expecting this. I thought it was going to be us sitting in a room, answering questions. I didn’t know what to say. There was another part of my brain reminding me that this is what I signed up for when I decided to date a famous actor. I knew there would be cameras. At least in this instance, we could control the narrative. He squeezed his hands into fists as he looked at me with a half-smile, half grimace on his face waiting for a response. He couldn’t handle my silence for long.

“Look…we can plan when the cameras are here. There will be no surprises. We can try to keep it focused on when things are happening and not so much our private time. We can record things ourselves too…it doesn’t always have to be a whole crew of people. It would only be for a few weeks…and…”

His words were starting to come out in a rush, and I wasn’t sure if he had even taken a breath. I shook my head, reaching out to grab his hands to get him to relax.

“I’ll do it, ok. Whatever you need me to do…I’ll do it.”

It was his turn to look shocked, “I thought it was gonna take more convincing than that…are you sure? Is this a bad idea?”

I chuckled, “I don’t know if it’s a bad idea or not, but I’m sure.”

A hesitant smile crept across his face as he nodded, his mind clearly in overdrive as he considered things. “Ok. So, we're doing this. Now that it’s for sure happening…I’m fucking nervous.”

I crawled over and straddled his lap, momentarily distracted by his broad shoulders, and sculpted arms as my hands slid around to rest on the nape his neck. My eyes finally met his, “I trust that you can do this in a way that has an impact on the cause. Just know…it’s gonna be very raw and very hard for both of us…if we do it right. Are you sure you can handle it?”

He leaned his forehead against mine, “I can handle anything as long as I have you, mi luz.” (my light)

I gave him a quick peck on the lips before leaning back to look at him with skeptical eyes. I couldn’t decide if he was trying to be sweet or smooth, “You’re totally trying to get into my pants right now, aren’t you?”

He couldn’t fight the toothy grin that spread across his face, “I meant every fucking word of it…” I arched an eyebrow at him. “However, you did just totally cockblock me. You’re also currently rubbing against my semi, and I can’t ignore it. So yes, I am very much trying to get into your pants right now.”

I cackled. His filter really had become non-existent around me, and I loved it. I leaned in for a slow, sensual kiss before pulling away, “You’re completely insatiable. It’s a tough job, but I guess someone must see to your needs or else you would combust. My life is so hard...”

Dieter smirked and wiggled underneath me, “I know something else that is too.”

We fell over into a heap on the bed, kissing between fits of laughter before he resumed his earlier position at my neck. As I started to unbutton his jeans, the doorbell rang. Dieter groaned as he pulled away from me, “Fucking hell, I can’t win today.” I let out a small chuckle as I mussed his hair.

“I’m sure that’s probably Rylee.” He paused briefly and looked toward the clock on the nightstand, “Of course she’s super fucking early.” He rolled his eyes as he moved to get up, “I need to take a very cold shower right quick. I’ll be out in a minute.”

I laughed as I watched him walk toward the bathroom with an obvious bulge in his jeans. I crawled out of bed and did a quick check in the mirror to get my hair under control before going to answer the door. Rylee entered in a flurry before I even had a chance to greet her. The first thing I noticed was that her hair was now black and a brilliant fuchsia color, matching her feisty demeanor. She was all business the minute she opened her mouth and started waving her hands around.

“Sorry I’m early, but I was just thinking about the shitstorm of stuff I need to catch up on. I don’t even know where to start with his schedule. I bet he hasn’t kept up with anything at all and I’m gonna have to call around to figure it all out and…”

“Damn woman, calm down. It’s good to see you too,” I said with a laugh as I closed the door behind her.

She huffed, “I’m sorry. I’m a little stressed.”

I gave her a reassuring smile, “Well, stress less because I already have everything on his calendar. I’ve been helping him keep up with it all. I just need to share it with you. I’ve got other things to share with you too as far as what he can’t eat, his self-care plan, medication schedule…All of it.”

Rylee visibly relaxed as she let out a sigh of relief, “Fuuuuck, thank you. I had a nightmare about a million stacks of papers to go through. It was frightening.”

We both laughed as she came over to hug me. It was the first time I had seen her since Canada. I was so happy that she decided to come back as Dieter’s assistant after he called her. I trusted her and knew she would do what was needed to help him with work and with his recovery.

Dieter and I had rearranged my home office space and cleaned out the clutter so that we could add a separate two-person desk for him and Rylee. I led her back to show her where everything was while we waited for Dieter to get out of the shower. I started syncing their calendars while we caught up with each other - including the news about the docuseries. Which Dieter had apparently already called to tell her about.

Dieter joined us a few minutes later with a camera and small tripod in hand. We both gave him a questioning look as he got it situated. He shrugged, “I figured we might as well start filming things...and I know you two need to get used to the camera.”

Rylee and I both groaned as he moved to pull the shades up on the window to let some natural light in. Once he was satisfied, he pulled me up out of his seat so he could sit down, then set me onto his lap. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head as he gave me a goofy grin and firmly planted his hand on the side of my ass. I looked back to Rylee to find her covering a smile with her hand.

I could feel the blush creeping up my neck, “Well…this is gonna be an interesting experience. I can already tell.”

We all laughed nervously before I began filling Rylee in on Dieter’s diagnosis. We started by going over his self-care plan. I showed her how to use his mood tracking app and went over his stress and anxiety management techniques. I explained things that she should be looking for in regard to mood changes in case he didn’t notice it. She offered to do some homework on her end and asked if I had any book or resource recommendations. With misty eyes, Dieter said he would pull some things for her. He hugged me a little tighter, burying his face against my back as we moved on to discussing his upcoming schedule.

I had taken to putting everything on his calendar - even if it was just a reminder to take his medication, eat lunch, or a minute to relax and breathe. He got the alerts on his phone and smart watch. Anything we could do to help him remember even the smallest of things, we did it. Especially since I wouldn’t always be around to remind him while he was working. At least I could trust that Rylee would help make sure he followed through. I could see that she was taking everything very seriously.

The next couple of weeks were a little chaotic with my job and planning for the docuseries. Dieter was fully back into work mode and somewhat struggling with keeping everything balanced. His obsessive nature was coming out in force causing him to hyper fixate on the finer details. It was definitely putting me and Rylee to the test, especially when he started to unintentionally ignore his reminder alerts. Dr. Rosenberg had warned me that these behaviors would be hard for him to break when it came to work, simply because he had been that way for so long. Every day I found myself more and more thankful that he was easing back into things and starting small. If he had jumped back into the deep end like Ty had wanted, it would have been unmanageable, and he would probably have ended up back where he was.

During those weeks, Dieter continued to film things on his own and encouraged Rylee and I to grab the camera when things came up in relation to his bipolar disorder - whether it be a phone call with Dr. Rosenberg, how he was managing things, or if he was feeling or behaving any kind of way that wasn’t “normal” for him. It was annoying and felt a little intrusive at times, but I understood why he wanted it. Oddly enough, when he would playback the footage, it made him realize when he needed to reign things in and make adjustments. It turned out to be both a hindrance and blessing.

The day the camera crew was set to begin filming, I woke up to Dieter lying on his side facing me, staring at the wall as he traced paths along my bare skin with his fingertips. I took in his features before he realized I was awake, his face looked tense and his eyes anxious. When I moved my hand to cup his face, his gaze shifted down to meet mine. He gave me a small smile before leaning in to kiss my forehead. We spent several minutes cuddling in silence before I turned to pull the camera and attached stabilizer off the nightstand. I gave him a questioning look and he nodded. This was our new normal for the time being, after all.

Once I got the camera switched on and hit record, I propped my arm on his side and turned it to face us. We were both still laying on our sides facing each other looking like hot messes with our wild hair in the dim lighting, but we didn’t care.

“So, the camera crew is gonna be here in a few hours. How are you feeling about it?” I asked him in a low voice.

Dieter inhaled deeply, then let out a loud sigh. “Fucking terrified.”

I arched an eyebrow at him, “Why?”

“Because I know it’s not just gonna be surface level shit we’re talking about. The interviews are gonna be hard. I’m gonna have to talk about things I don’t like talking about and listen to you talk about things I don’t like to hear. I know it’s gonna be hard for us in a way that we haven’t had to deal with yet.”

I reached with my free hand and placed it on the side of his neck, rubbing small circles with my thumb. He closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed under my touch, “It can’t be any worse than what we’ve already dealt with.”

“No, but now everyone is gonna know what happened. That’s adding a whole other layer to things.”

I scooted my face forward a bit and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, “We’ll be ok.”

He gave me a soft smile before he reached to cover the camera and pushed it away. He immediately leaned in to start kissing me. A playful make out session was all it took to shift his focus and cheer up his glum mood.

Before I knew it, I was being introduced to the camera crew that would be spending the next few weeks with us. Dieter had put in a request to work with specific individuals that he knew and trusted for the project, and it was approved. I used to think that our home was decently sized, but once the two camera operators, two sound guys, one lighting technician, the producer, and all their equipment started making their way inside, it suddenly felt very cramped. Dieter could see my anxiety building as they moved around the space and discussed filming plans. He was quick to grab my hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb as he chatted with them. I mostly just sat and listened since this was a completely new experience for me.

There weren't any plans to film that day. It was mostly so we could all get acquainted and for them to become familiar with the house and set up equipment. The real fun started first thing the next morning. Dieter was up filming and going through his morning routine before I was out of bed. I had a restless night - the nerves getting to me and keeping me awake. I got out of bed and threw my hair up in a clip to tame it some and put on a robe. When I stumbled into the kitchen in search of coffee, I could hear voices downstairs. I assumed Dieter was getting his morning workout in.

Once the caffeine began to take effect, I started to mindlessly cook breakfast for everyone. Attempting to think about anything but the cameras that were going to be in my face for most of the day. When breakfast was nearly done, the whole crew were already making their way upstairs. A quick glance told me they were still filming as Dieter came over to wrap his arms around my waist and kiss me on the cheek, mumbling a “good morning” into my ear. His greeting was pretty tame compared to how things usually went.

Dieter and I stood chatting about a meeting for one of his upcoming projects that he had asked me to go to later that day as I piled the food onto plates for everyone. He wanted me to go with him to offer input on his schedule and ensure he was doing what he needed to based on the doctor’s orders to not overexert himself. He was so afraid that he was going to miss something or slide back into his old habits. His new manager, Will, was still playing catchup on everything and didn’t yet feel confident on what was needed for Dieter’s self-care plan. He was happy to hear that I would be there to double check everything this time around. Will had been great so far and was taking Dieter’s well-being seriously, unlike Ty. I honestly didn’t think we could have found anyone better to work with in that regard. He seemed to actually care.

As Dieter was rattling off the meeting details, I continued to move around the kitchen to pull out glasses and utensils. I happened to look down at his pill organizer on the counter and realized he hadn’t taken his medication or supplements this morning. I sighed as I picked it up and waved it at him with a disapproving look.

He grimaced as he reached for the organizer, “Lo siento, mi luz. I’ll do better, I promise. Today has been so hectic already.” (I’m sorry, my light.)

“Same time, every day. Take it when your alert goes off…please.” He pulled me in for a quick kiss and thanked me for the reminder.

I was starting to feel like a broken record, and I hated nagging Dieter, but since he started working again, he had been slipping up on things…a lot. He never complained or got upset with my incessant reminders. Instead, he would often thank me, do what he needed, then go back to what he had been focused on.

After he took his medication, he leaned against the counter and caught my hand, stopping me from what I was doing with the food so that I would turn to look at him.

“Hey…serious question.” I raised my eyebrows in response, waiting for him to continue.

“Will called, he needs to know what our plans are for the premiere next week.” He proceeded to give me his best sad puppy-eyed look. I sighed, “You really want me to go with you?”

He nodded, “Yes, I think I’ll be less anxious if you’re there with me…but only if you’re ready for that.”

I reached up, rubbing at my temple while I thought it through, eventually meeting his eyes before I responded. “I guess I gotta rip the band-aid off at some point, yeah?”

He gave me a hesitant smile, “Really? You’re sure?”

I rolled my eyes and nodded, “Yes, I’m sure.”

Dieter grabbed my hips and pulled me in tightly against his body for a rather passionate kiss on the lips with murmurs of “thank you” in between each additional one. I pushed him away slightly, motioning with my eyes and head to remind him that we had company…and a camera rolling. He snorted before turning to them, clapping his hands together, and asking if they wanted some breakfast. They all let out low chuckles as they moved to set their equipment down and came over to grab a plate of food. We all sat down around the table and chatted, getting to know each other a bit more.

Once everyone was nearly finished eating, Stephanie, the producer, asked if I wanted to do a quick interview session before we headed out for Dieter’s meeting. This was something we had to get accustomed to doing while filming. Random interviews to discuss events of the day. I opted to get ready for the meeting first, just so I could look a little more presentable.

After I had showered and fixed myself up a bit, I headed downstairs to where they had set up the interview space in the corner of my craft room. The floor to ceiling windows offered ample lighting during the day for this purpose. After some minor lighting adjustments, we got started. It wasn’t as bad as I expected. Stephanie led the conversation with questions about various things: the day’s plans, why I was going to Dieter’s meeting, the need to remind Dieter about doing things, and how I was feeling about the docuseries in general. She made me feel comfortable and relaxed throughout the whole thing, which helped ease some of the anxiety I was having about doing it.

Just as we were finishing up, Dieter came strolling into the room in one of his old band t-shirts, jeans, sneakers, and a baseball hat. I arched a questioning eyebrow at him, “That’s what you’re wearing to a work meeting?”

I had gone with business casual attire, so I was surprised to see him dressed down. He shrugged, “I’d rather be comfortable. Besides, I’m sure Will will be dressed up enough for the both of us.”

I rolled my eyes at him and snickered, “At least you’re not wearing the fucking crocs…”

He gave me a cocky grin, “I mean, I could still go change…”

I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head. One of the camera guys, Derek, laughed loudly as he watched our exchange, “Do you guys always banter back and forth like this?” Dieter and I laughed.

“Oh yes, we live for it…keeps things interesting.” Dieter replied with a lopsided grin.

We were interrupted by mine and Dieter’s phones pinging with a text from Will to let us know he was on his way to the meeting. We took that as our cue to head that way as well. As I got into the driver seat, I was greeted with two small cameras affixed to both sides of the front window. I glanced over at Dieter as he sat down in the passenger seat, “Really? In the car too?”

He shrugged, “Only on occasion. They aren’t staying there.”

I moved to start the car, “Thank God for that. They feel very…in your face.”

Dieter laughed as he grabbed my hand and briefly brought it to his lips, “Thank you for this. I know it’s a lot for you.”

I moved to lace my fingers with his and settled our clasped hands on the console between us as I glanced over and gave him a small smile, “It’s not been too bad…and I know it’s for a good reason. I think I’m actually more worried about the premiere than any of this right now.”

He let out a controlled breath, “Yeah, I’m pretty nervous about that too…but…we’ll be together, so it’ll be fine.”

Dieter sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than me with that statement. It was his first major event since everything that happened, and he was really starting to psych himself out about it.

A short time later we found ourselves at the studio to meet with producers. They surprisingly allowed the meeting to be filmed so long as their faces were not shown on the final cut. Things got a little heated when it came to the discussion about Dieter’s filming schedule. They wanted to pack a lot of filming hours into a short time frame. Filming well into the early morning hours on top of ridiculously early call times was not happening. Not this soon at least. Especially given that lack of sleep was a serious trigger for Dieter to start spiraling into a hypo-manic episode. Luckily Will was there to keep things civil because I was getting amped up about it. In the end they made concessions to add a couple more days for filming his scenes and approved some other minor requests that we asked for.

We all stood around the parking lot chatting after the meeting. As Will pulled off his blazer, he huffed out a laugh while looking my way, “Remind me not to get on your bad side. I’d rather not be on the receiving end of that.”

Dieter laughed and pulled me into a sideways hug, “Isn’t she fucking awesome?!?! I love it when she switches to boss lady mode.”

Will laughed as he scratched at the back of his neck, “Well…next time I'm in a tight spot with negotiations, I know who to call.”

I laughed, “Anytime, my friend.”

After a few more jokes, we all got into our vehicles and headed toward our house. Will wanted to come over to spend some time familiarizing himself with Dieter’s self-care plan and learn a little more about anything else we felt like he needed to know so he could ensure he was doing what he needed to on his end of things going forward. He took it all very seriously, asking a lot of questions and taking notes as he went. The camera crew was there for this too, of course. There was a small part of me that hoped Ty got to see some of this footage, just so he could see how amazing his replacement was.

Once we finished with that, Stephanie pulled the three of us in for quick individual interview sessions about the day's events. After that was done, Dieter spent some time with the crew, going over the schedule for the next few days. We didn’t have a whole lot going on until the premiere the following week, so their filming schedule would be pretty light. While he did that, I changed clothes and went downstairs to spend some time painting.

It had been a while since I last painted, and I felt like I needed to do something to quiet my thoughts. My mind was in overdrive as I cycled through the last few weeks and the things still to come. After queuing up my classical music playlist, I got lost in the paint strokes as my brush moved across the canvas. I wasn’t painting anything in particular; it was mostly just abstract swirls and splashes of colors that seemed to match my mood. A mixture of light and dark, contrasting against each other.

I was unsure of how much time had passed when Dieter’s honeyed voice greeted me from the doorway, “What are you up to, mi estrella?”

I smirked before turning my head toward the doorway, finding Dieter’s handheld camera mounted on the stabilizer gripped in his hand, “Art therapy…What are you up to?”

He had a mischievous glint in his eye as he padded toward me. He wrapped the arm holding the camera around my shoulder, extending it out in front of us as he nuzzled into my neck from behind, “Everything ok? That’s some dark colors you have mixed in there.”

He could read me like an open book at this point. I tilted my head, looking at the mess of colors, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just have a lot of uncertainty about how all this is gonna go. It makes me nervous. I think that’s where the darker stuff is coming from.”

He moved to stand in front of me, studying my face. “Are you sure?”

I gave him a small smile, “Yeah, I’m positive.”

His eyes narrowed as he considered my answer, finally deciding he believed me. He leaned in for a kiss as his free hand found its way to my cheek. It didn’t take me long to realize that his hand felt wet. I pulled back, now narrowing my eyes at him. His teeth bit into his bottom lip as he fought a smile.

“You came in here just to cause chaos, didn’t you?”

Dieter snorted, finally allowing a toothy grin to slide across his face as he drug his hand down my cheek, then a fingertip down my nose for good measure. Before he completely pulled away, I grabbed his wrist and flipped his hand to reveal the bright blue paint covering his palm and fingers, then pushed it away with a playful scoff. A fit of laughter bubbled up from his chest as he surveyed the large blue handprint on the side of my face.

I turned away, picking up my phone to use the camera as a mirror. He had gotten me good. Dieter sidled up next to me, pressing his cheek to my paintless one and told me to take a picture. While he stood posing, I managed to dip my free hand in a bit of yellow paint within my reach and rubbed it around on my fingers and palm before reaching up to pull his face toward mine for a quick kiss, smearing the paint on the side of his face in the process. I managed to snap a somewhat blurry photo of it too. We snapped a couple more giggling selfies before he pulled away, still chuckling, “Damn…I guess we’ll both have to take a shower now.”

I rolled my eyes at him and smirked into my phone as I struggled to send the pictures to him with my one clean hand, “Yeah…you sound really torn up about that.”

After sliding my phone into my back pocket, I moved over to the utility sink to wash my hands. Dieter quickly followed and wrapped his arms around me from behind, caging me in against the sink as he rubbed my soapy hands between his under the warm spray. He really had intended to cause chaos when he walked into the room and was succeeding. He continued to wreak havoc as he buried his face in my neck, no doubt smearing even more paint as he placed light kisses and whispered against my skin, “Eres un desastre. Voy a tomarme mi tiempo para limpiarte.” (You’re a mess. I’m going to take my time cleaning you up.)

My head fell back against his shoulder as he continued to trail his lips down my neck, “Hmmm…That’s beyond my current Spanish speaking skill level, but it sounds hot.”

I felt him smile against my shoulder, “How about I show you?”

Before I had a chance to respond, he shut off the sink and threw me over his shoulder - hauling me off toward the bathroom to shower. True to his word, he did take his time. Neither of us got out until the water ran cold.

The following morning, I was dancing around the kitchen in one of Dieter’s t-shirts singing to the 2000’s greatest hits as I cooked breakfast. Dieter rounded the corner after his workout, phone in hand obviously recording my antics with a grin on his face. I indulged him for a minute before stopping in a fit of giggles as I walked over to give him a good morning kiss, “Please tell me you’re not putting that in the docuseries.”

He chuckled as he leaned against the counter beside the stove, “No, that’s for my own personal collection. I don’t get to hear you sing enough.”

I rolled my eyes, “Why is this a thing now? It’s really not that great. I don’t wanna make your ears bleed.”

He scoffed, “Whatever…I like it. That’s all that matters.” He paused for a moment, focusing on his phone with pursed lips. “Do you mind if I do a small photo dump on social media?”

I shoveled the omelet I had just made onto a plate before setting the pan down and turning to him. “Is that a good idea?”

Dieter shrugged, “I’m gonna check with Elaine first, but I think it’s ok. I haven’t posted anything since the infamous statement…and people know we’re together from that. So, I don’t think it’s gonna be a big shocker.”

I crossed my arms and arched an eyebrow in his direction, “That’s fine with me. What pictures are you posting?”

He smirked as he sauntered closer and rubbed his hands up and down my arms, “Just some that the crew and I have taken while we’ve been filming…of us. I may even throw in one you took last night with paint all over us because they’re cute as hell.”

My eyebrows drew down together, “So are you officially announcing the docuseries then?”

He shook his head before leaning in and rubbing his nose against mine, “No…just teasing…so they know something is coming.”

The double meaning of Dieter’s words was not lost on me. I smiled and gave him a quick kiss, intentionally ignoring his suggestive tone. “Well, that sounds like a good idea. I’ve got work to do, but you let me know how that goes.”

I turned to pick up a fork and the plate of food to hand to him, “Also…this is yours. I’ll see you after my virtual meeting.” I gave him another quick kiss on the cheek followed by a teasing smile as I walked toward the bedroom to make myself presentable. I could hear him muttering under his breath behind me the whole way.

A short time after I sat down at my desk, my phone pinged with a notification that Dieter had tagged me in a post on Instagram. I sighed, opening the app to see what craziness he had just unleashed. I was surprised by a lot of the pictures, not realizing they had been taken. There were images of us doing our individual interviews, with the camera and lighting setup in view. Another of Dieter showing me how one of the fancy cameras worked. They gave off heavy behind the scenes vibes and definitely hinted that he was working on something.

The others seemed to be screen shots of things we had filmed: me sitting on Dieter’s lap as we talked to Rylee just out of frame, the both of us sitting at the table on a call with who I assume was Dr. Rosenberg, us being flirty and embracing in the kitchen, and lastly, one of our paint-covered selfies showcasing our cheesy grins. My eyes shifted to read the caption, “My favorite love story is ours.” I couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across my face. He was so ridiculous and over the top and I fucking loved it.

I scrolled through the images one more time. What stood out to me the most was that Dieter looked healthy and happy. It may not be evident to others, but I could see the newly ignited spark in his eyes. The sadness that once lived there was now completely gone.

I took a minute to log onto my virtual meeting. While I waited for others to join, I did a quick scroll through the comments. Surprisingly, they all seemed to be positive thus far. Lots of well wishes and compliments, along with speculation about the project Dieter was working on. I smiled to myself as I sat my phone down, knowing he would be happy the post had the intended effect.

The start of the following week got a little hectic. On top of my regular work schedule and filming, we had to prepare for the premiere. Elaine put us through some rather extensive coaching to help us through interviews. She and Will did a mini premiere boot camp with me so that I would know what to expect, mostly to relieve some of my anxiety about the whole thing. We also had to decide on what we were wearing and do final fittings.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, my head was spinning. I knew I had to manage my anxiety so I could keep it together to be able to support Dieter. I could tell that whatever I was feeling, he was feeling ten times worse. He was having a hard time sitting still, full of energy and jittery with nerves as his team worked to get him picture perfect. I lost count of the number of times he was scolded for his nervous habit of touching his hair because it was prolonging the process. After he was finally ready, I sent him out of the room to try and relax while my hair and makeup was done. Luckily Will and Elaine had arrived by then to help keep him distracted.

Even though I had been dreading all the attention that would be focused on us, I was a little excited about getting dolled up in a fancy dress since it’s not something I often got to do. I had so many beautiful dresses to choose from, but I finally settled on a deep purple satin mermaid floor length gown. It was sleeveless with a sweetheart neckline and had rhinestone beading along the straps and the deep V of the back. It was form fitting but still very elegant looking. I wore my hair up with random loose curls hanging down and opted for more natural looking makeup.

When I walked out of the bedroom in a rush to gather things into the small clutch that matched my dress, Dieter’s wide eyes locked in on me. His nervousness momentarily took a back seat while he looked me up and down. Once I realized he was staring, I paused my movements and smiled at him. Now noticing how handsome he looked in his all-white tux, black rimmed glasses, and artfully messy locks. He broke the silence first.

“How the hell am I supposed to focus on answering questions with you beside me looking like this?”

I gave him a dismissive laugh as he walked over and placed his hands on my hips, “You look fucking amazing. This dress is…the most obscene…and modest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

His statement elicited several sniggers from his team and the camera crew. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding under my hand as I leaned my forehead against his, “You look pretty fucking amazing yourself.”

He smiled, sitting his hand atop of mine and squeezing it before placing a quick kiss on my temple. He pulled back, our eyes locked as we gave each other small smiles. Elaine cleared her throat, then asked if she could snap a few pictures for him to post to social media. Once she finished, she handed his phone back to him. He ended up choosing just one picture that we hadn’t even realized she had taken right before she drew our attention. He added the caption “She stole my heart, but I think I’ll let her keep it.” He started giggling like a teenager as he hit the post button.

I gave him a questioning look as he turned his phone to show me what he posted. I snorted, “Elaine is gonna murder you. You’re so ridiculous.”

Dieter shrugged, as he continued to chuckle at my side. As if on cue, Elaine started chastising him, “Dieter, what the hell? Seriously? You didn’t even mention the movie premiere!”

He shrugged before reaching to scratch at his chin, “Calm down woman, I’ll do another post later. Hell, I may go crazy and post a few stories too.”

She sighed, “Fine. We need to get going anyway. I’ll see you there.”

Dieter and I loaded into a black SUV with one of the camera guys in the front passenger seat. On the way to the event, Dieter quickly became very reserved, and was alternating between bouncing his leg and rubbing at his thighs with his palms. Occasionally taking in deep breaths and exhaling slowly. After several minutes passed, his smartwatch chirped. He glanced down at it with a nervous laugh, “Apparently I have a high heart rate.”

I reached over and grabbed his hand, hoping it would help him relax some. As we waited in traffic to get out at the event, he started spiraling. Reaching to undo his bowtie and pulling it off before undoing the top button of his shirt. I gave him a questioning look, now realizing he was breaking out in a sweat and his face was flushed.

He glanced over at me, “I can’t breathe with that fucking thing on.”

Concerned, I turned to face him the best I could in the fitted dress, “Are you ok?”

He shook his head, “No…my fucking chest hurts.” He scoffed, “I’m suddenly reminded why I used to drink or take stuff before going to these fucking things. This is the first time I haven’t in a very long time.”

I gathered both of his hands in mine as I took in his heavy breathing, “I think you're having a panic attack…turn to face me.”

He did as I asked without question, turning and pulling his knee up onto the seat and leaning his forehead against mine as I rubbed my thumbs into the palms of his hands with heavy pressure. “Close your eyes…take deep breaths for me. Focus on your breathing and nothing else.” I listened to his controlled breathing as I alternated between deep massaging motions with my thumbs and lightly grazing his palms with my fingertips to help ground him and keep him present. He shifted forward, nuzzling into my hair as he continued the deep breathing exercise.

After he seemed to calm some, I moved one hand to gently rub at the nape of his neck, “Are you really sniffing my hair right now?”

He chuckled but didn’t move, “Yes…leave me alone. It’s helping me relax.”

I laughed as I moved to pull him into a hug, “You gonna tell me what has you so anxious?”

“I’m just worried about the interviews. What if they ask me about what happened? I don’t wanna talk about that here.”

“Just divert the conversation back to the movie like Elaine told you to. If that doesn’t work, she'll be there to step in and cut it off.”

I pulled away so that I could look at him. He appeared less flushed now, “Is that all that’s bothering you?”

He scrunched his nose slightly, “No…I haven’t really talked to anyone since filming, so I’m afraid it’s just gonna be awkward because they know what happened.”

I reached to scratch my fingers through his stubble, “If they are…just ignore them. You’ve got me and the rest of our crew here with you. That’s all you really need.”

Dieter smiled as he grasped my hand and moved it to his lips, “Thanks for coming. I don’t think I would’ve been able to do this without you here…I love you.”

I gave him a soft smile in return, “I love you, too.”

The mood shifted after that. There was still a nervous energy in the air, but at more manageable levels. Which was a good thing, because within minutes we found ourselves exiting the SUV and queuing up to walk the red carpet. It was my turn to be nervous now. The thought of a wall of cameras snapping in my face was a little daunting. Dieter could sense my nerves, which led to him placing small comforting touches and praising me about how amazing I looked while we waited.

Once it was our turn, it went by in a blur. It was very disorienting with all of the flashes and people yelling our names. I sort of zoned out through most of it. The only thing keeping me grounded was the feel of Dieter’s hand on the small of my back as he effortlessly led us into a couple of different positions and poses.

The next step was talking with the press. Dieter managed to keep it together and started to visibly relax as we moved down the line, but he never seemed to loosen his grip on my hand. Thankfully, the closest anyone came to asking about what had happened was to question how he was doing and if he was excited to get back to work. When interviews were finished, we moved over to an area where fans were waiting so he could visit with them. I hung back with Will and Elaine even though several were yelling for me to come over as well, to my surprise. As we watched him snap selfies and laugh with the fans, I noticed Elaine was staring at him with an odd expression.

I leaned over to ask, “Something wrong?”

She gave me a playful look, “Do I even want to know why he doesn’t have his tie on?”

I snickered, “Not because of the reason you’re thinking, I’m sure. He had a mild panic attack on the way over…said he couldn’t breathe with it on.”

Her expression changed to one of concern. “He’s fine now I think…he just let his nerves get to him a little.” Elaine looped her arm with mine, smiling as we turned to watch Dieter work the crowd into a frenzy. The rest of the evening was smooth sailing until we got to the afterparty. There was a lot of alcohol floating around and some drugs too. We did well to ignore it, but it made me realize how hard it must be for someone in this business to recover from using those substances when it was such a constant in their environment. We ended up cutting the evening short because of it.

As we were heading out the door, one of Dieter’s costars, Dominic, pulled him aside and asked to briefly chat in private. Elaine, Will, and I were on edge when Dieter stepped away, especially after all the things we had seen being passed around. However, to our surprise, Dominic only wanted to ask about Dieter’s treatment and the facility he had gone to because Dominic was thinking of going himself. Dieter had inspired him to finally take control of his life and not worry about negative perceptions. The fact that Dominic felt comfortable enough to approach Dieter to talk about what he was dealing with in detail meant a lot. Dieter gushed about it the entire way home, admitting that he now felt more confident than ever about his decision to do the docuseries. It only further encouraged him to be more involved in raising awareness about mental health.

The following Saturday, we made our way over to Dieter’s house with the intent to pack up all of his belongings. Alex, Lauren, and Gabby also joined us. Dieter and I had made the decision to sell the place since he never stayed there due to the fact it made him feel incredibly anxious. I knew it was going to be a rough day because Stephanie wanted to go over what happened the night he ended up in the hospital. Dieter and I had discussed it previously, of course, but neither Gabby nor I had ever gone into the details with him.

Stephanie started the interview session with Dieter first. As he recounted the events from that day the best he could, he was visibly becoming more and more anxious. The fact that he couldn’t remember a lot of the evening events always bothered him. The more he acknowledged that fact, the more fidgety he became. Once Stephanie was satisfied that she had gotten all she could out of him, she ended her questioning. The relief on his face was palpable as he moved down the hallway toward the bathroom. I followed after him to check in and he assured me that he was ok. I took him at his word as I turned to do my part of the session.

Once I was mic’d up and ready, Stephanie began by asking me about my encounter with Dieter that morning when I had literally run into him, then we worked our way through the rest of the day. I was able to fill in some of the gaps that Dieter couldn’t remember, like the phone call. Then we got into what happened after the call. It was hard to talk about in that much detail in the place where it happened. Everyone in the room was moved to tears as I described the state of the house and how I found him, the ride to the ER, and my subsequent breakdown once I knew he was in safe hands.

At that point, we were interrupted by Alex who called out for me just as he rounded the corner from the hallway. His worried face snapped me back to the present. I didn’t even need to ask what was wrong because I knew - Dieter had been listening.

My feet were moving before I realized, “Where is he?”

Alex motioned with his head down the hallway. The only light was streaming from one of the open doorways midway down. It was just enough to make out Dieter’s form sitting on the floor at the very end of the hall. His legs were crossed as rocked in place with his head down and palms rubbing at his face. This was not the sight I expected to find. It felt like my heart was breaking for him all over again. As I approached, he reached a hand toward me, pulling me down to straddle his lap. He wasted no time burying his face in my neck as he let the sobs break free. I sat hugging him, crying with him, and running my fingers through his curls until he had nothing left. Finally, he mumbled into my neck, “I didn’t know you were that bad. I’m so fucking sorry. I can never say it enough…I hate myself for putting you through that.”

I hugged him tighter, “Baby, I’ve told you, I would rather go through that a million times than having lost you. You wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t. It was worth it.”

He raised his head to look at me with his red rimmed eyes and a deep crease between his brows. “I know, but damn, you didn’t tell me it was so bad they had you take something to calm down. I don’t know what I had in my mind, but it wasn’t that…”

A fresh wave of tears pooled in his eyes, “I can’t imagine what you were feeling, especially during the car ride…and you were so fucking strong through it…You’re amazing.”

I gave him a sad smile, realizing all over again how close we had been to losing him. We sat hugging each other for a few minutes before I realized how quiet it was considering there was a house full of people.

I mumbled into his hair, “They’re recording this aren’t they?”

He turned his head to look toward the other end of the hallway, chuckling at whatever sight greeted him, “Yup, they totally are.”

I sighed, “I guess this is what we signed up for.” I shook my head with tight lips as I pulled away and moved to stand up. “Maybe you should go to another room and pack while Gabby and I finish up. I’m sure being in this house is making things a lot worse than they need to be for you right now.”

He nodded before I pulled him up off the floor by his hands. I called for Alex and Lauren to help him while we finished up with the interview sessions. Once that was done, the rest of the evening went smoother. Dieter was still a little on edge and not straying far from my side, but we got through it without issue.

Between the footage that we had shot ourselves and what the crew had accumulated, there was plenty of content. The only thing that remained was for Dieter to sit down and cover all the other topics we hadn’t managed to touch on thus far. He was scheduled to do that the following week. He and I were both nervous about it, knowing that this last session would cover the topics that are the hardest for him to discuss. We met with Stephanie beforehand to give her an idea of the things he would like to cover so she could pre-plan her questions and the path of the conversation.

As the crew made last minute adjustments for lighting and sound, Dieter sat bouncing his leg. The anticipation of the discussion to come sending his anxiety into overdrive. However, he managed to keep it under enough control to follow through.

Stephanie began by asking Dieter about his childhood and his relationship with his mom. He had almost a wistful expression on his face as he recalled how happy it seemed and how close he was to his mother before she became unwell. That led into details about how he had been the one to find her the morning she left them. Surprisingly, he didn’t censor his words or hold back his emotions as he went through the details that he had shared with me all those months ago. I was proud of him for being strong enough to do that in a room full of people and in front of a camera. It spoke volumes as to how far he had come. Stephanie decided they should take a short break after that so that everyone could pull themselves together after Dieter got through the story. Dieter stood from his seat and immediately came over for a comforting hug while I whispered my praises to him.

When they got back to it, Stephanie jumped in where they left off. Asking Dieter how he felt the trauma he experienced had affected his relationships as an adult. He chuckled sarcastically, “I’m not sure we have enough time to cover all that.” He paused briefly, swiping his thumb across his lower lip as he thought through his next words.

“I guess it affected me in that I just didn’t have relationships? I was very closed off…emotionally…to everyone, including my family. I didn’t do the whole dating thing…I was too afraid of experiencing loss and pain…and I think part of me felt like I wasn’t worthy of being loved or having my own family. I knew I would fuck it up. So, I just didn’t do any of that…and even took measures to avoid it.”

Stephanie’s brows drew down together, “What do you mean by that?”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, “Well…I had a vasectomy years ago to remove kids from the equation since I was…engaging in risky behavior…sleeping around, doing drugs, drinking...all the things. I was an asshole and treated people like shit so they wouldn’t get close to me. I just made sure the conditions for it were never there. Then of course, I was doing whatever I could to numb my own feelings too. It was a miserable existence and…I felt dead inside, but I was ok with that for a long time. It’s what I thought I deserved.”

“Do you regret having that procedure now?”

He pursed his lips and shook his head, “Not really, it’s reversible. Not that I cared at the time…but I am thankful that’s an option…that the choice hasn’t been completely taken away because I was a fucking idiot back then.”

“Has your feelings about relationships and family changed since then?”

Dieter smiled, “Yeah, I mean, I’m a completely different person now. My family is the most important thing to me, and I’m open to having and expanding my own. I no longer feel like I’m unworthy of being loved…I actually have a very positive mindset for my future now. I want to be happy and…I am.”

Stephanie gave him a small smile before continuing, “What prompted you to change your lifestyle and seek help?”

Dieter smirked, “Initially, I was afraid of losing the one thing I cared about, which was my career. It was all catching up to me and I felt like shit, physically…and was starting to look like shit too. That lifestyle does eventually wear you down. So, I stopped the heavy drugs and sleeping around at that point…started seeing a therapist, but I wasn’t one hundred percent committed. I was still drinking a lot, and emotionally I was all over the place…starting to withdraw and spend a lot of time alone…trying and failing to work on myself.”

“When did you finally go all in on improving yourself?”

He was smiling now, “It took a long while for that to kick in, but it turned out that I just needed the right motivation.”

Dieter paused briefly to look in my direction with an even bigger smile.

Stephanie interrupted our moment, “Care to elaborate on that?”

He looked back toward her, “A week in New York for work changed everything for me. That’s where I met Talia in the restaurant that was in the lobby of the hotel where we were both staying. I sat down beside her at the bar. I didn’t notice her at first because I was caught up in my head about work stuff…but it didn’t take me long. I was enamored with her almost immediately. I had never…had that feeling before and it completely took me off guard.”

Stephanie gave him a soft smile, “Who initiated the conversation first?”

He chuckled at the memory, “Technically she did after she launched a full glass of water at me…by accident. I stood there a little dumbfounded for a minute while she cleaned it up. I was a nervous mess that whole evening and we sort of bonded over our anxiety…she had picked up on mine immediately. We sat and talked for a while after that, and I was taken with…how fucking witty and intelligent she was. I was literally hanging onto everything she said. I knew that night that I wanted something more with her, to be better for her. It was a foreign feeling, but I actually welcomed it.”

Stephanie now had a wide grin on her face, “So did you guys exchange numbers that night then?”

Dieter laughed and I had to work hard to stifle my own laughter. He needed a minute to pull himself together, “Umm no. I wish we had…we uhhh, ran into each other a couple more times. I do admit that I may have been seeking her out though…but anyway, by like the third day we were purposefully spending our free time together. When I wasn’t with her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. By the end of the week, we had uhhh…”

There was a long pause as he smirked in my direction. I could only imagine what images were playing through his mind at that moment. “We had gotten pretty close…we had a super strong connection to the point that it was kind of scary for the both of us. When we woke up that last morning, I realized I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life. It was so ridiculous though… I was running late for a meeting and couldn’t find my phone, so I gave her my number and told her to text me when she got back to LA. I left without getting her number, figuring I would have it later…but she never did text me. She totally ghosted me and actually deleted my number.”

Stephanie’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head with that revelation as she turned to look at me, “Wait…what?!?! Really?”

I hid my face with my hands as I nodded. She turned back to Dieter, “So how did you two end up back together?”

Dieter continued with a small smile on his face, “Well, I was kind of devastated when I got back to LA and hadn’t heard from her. I went through all the emotions…relieved because being with her had been a lot emotionally for me to process but also sort of mourning the lost opportunity. My brother came over a few days after I had gotten back to check in with me and I was a fucking disaster over it. I knew her name and that she was a consultant, so he managed to find her contact information on her company website within like…two minutes and told me to call her. I had to leave to film a movie soon after that so I put it off…but the whole time I was gone she was all I could think about. It’s embarrassing to admit…but I don’t know how many times I called her office and hung up during those five or six months I was gone. I was so afraid she was gonna tell me to fuck off…”

Stephanie was now leaning forward on the edge of her seat, completely engrossed in the story, “But you finally worked up the courage to make the call I take it?”

Dieter shook his head with a smirk, “No…I did not work up the courage to make the call…but when I got back to LA I randomly saw her walking down the sidewalk one day. I lost her before I could catch up, but it made me realize that something was definitely there, and I shouldn’t give up…So the next day I worked up the nerve to go to her office. I knew it would be harder to chicken out once I walked through the door. I uhh…showed up and asked if she was free for lunch. I literally thought my heart was gonna beat out of my chest, especially when I realized she looked pissed when she saw me…we did end up going to lunch and talking though. So, it all worked out.”

“So, then you guys were together after that?”

Dieter rubbed the back of his neck and snickered, “Not exactly…Talia had gone through a pretty rough divorce right before New York, so she didn’t feel ready and I was still a mess myself, so we decided to just be friends. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it’s what she needed, and I was willing to wait for her until she was ready. We stuck to that for a long time…months.”

He paused, taking a deep breath, and started to fidget nervously, “Things eventually started to evolve once I started opening up to her about some of the issues I was having. My sleeping problems were getting worse…to the point that I was having serious nightmares. After a couple of incidents where I had fallen asleep at her place on the couch and woke up in a sobbing mess, she made me stay with her. I know it sounds insane, but it didn’t happen when we were asleep together. After that, I just started staying at her place. It was the only way I could get sleep. After a few weeks of that…it just changed things between us I guess.”

Dieter smiled sadly and looked down at his fingers as they twisted together, “Once it seemed to me that we were gonna be together, we took a trip to my parents' old place, and I opened up to her about my mom. At that point, I had never told anyone what happened. It was kind of a big deal for me to be that vulnerable with someone, but I trusted her…I also told her I was in love with her while we were there. It was so fucking hard for me to do, but the relief I felt after was amazing. We were full steam ahead after that until things fell apart while I was away filming in Canada.”

Stepanie’s smile shifted downward, now giving him a sympathetic look, “Why do you think things started falling apart at that point?”

His jaw ticked to the side as he thought through his answer for a moment, “Well, I was having a hard time being away from Talia and my family…where we were filming was a fucking dead zone. It was hard to get calls… and on top of that there had been a lot going on with medication changes. I had known for a while that I was feeling off and that it was getting progressively worse which is why the doctors kept messing with the medication…adding more and adjusting dosage amounts. At some point…I think maybe three of four weeks after starting on an antidepressant, I completely spiraled. I wasn’t sleeping hardly at all, and my thoughts were becoming fragmented and negative. There was a lot of self-hate building up…”

Dieter paused for a moment, a crease forming between his brows as his eyes turned glassy. “I had somehow convinced myself that I was never gonna get better and I was ruining everyone else’s life with my shit. I thought maybe it would just be better…easier even…if I let the darkness have me. My moods were starting to become sort of erratic…to the point that I would black out from anger or just lose time when I would start obsessing over something. I started drinking…a lot…to try and numb things. It worked for a while, but I found myself needing to drink more and more for it to be effective. In the middle of all that, I cut everyone off and just sort of accepted that it was how my life was gonna be…that I couldn’t be fixed.”

Stephanie’s brows furrowed, “Were you still communicating with your doctors at this point?”

He scoffed, “Yeah, that’s the sad part. They just had this ‘it gets worse before it gets better’ attitude about it and stayed the course. Turns out, they were the problem. They had misdiagnosed me and had me on a medication regimen that I should not have been on given what was actually going on…it triggered mixed manic episodes. I really thought I was losing my damn mind those last few days before I ended up in the hospital. My psychiatrist thinks that I was experiencing both depressive and manic episodes simultaneously. My thoughts and feelings were all over the place…I would literally have like this crazy euphoric burst of creative energy and be bawling my eyes out through it. It was experiencing two extremes at the same time…I just wanted to make it stop. That’s how I ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I just wanted to pass out and not feel anything for a while. I think at that point, I hadn’t had any real sleep in three days…at least. It was just too much.”

“At what point did you realize you had been misdiagnosed?”

Dieter rubbed at his thighs with the palms of his hands, “The doctors at the hospital pointed out that I had something else going on. I mean, that wasn’t their area of expertise, but they did offer some good advice to my family and the decision was made for me to go to the treatment center in Arizona. I went willingly, but if I had refused it wouldn't have been my choice to make…you know what I mean? I was bad enough they could’ve done an involuntary admission. It was one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had…the not knowing what to expect part. I was there for ninety days. The first few weeks were fucking torture…I was having withdrawals from the alcohol and the medication because they took me off everything so they could get a baseline assessment. Once they were finally able to do the assessments and came back with the bipolar disorder diagnosis, it blew my fucking mind. I actually felt hopeful after that…because we had a diagnosis and a plan. It took time, but I eventually started to feel what I assumed was normal. I went from taking half the fucking pharmacy to taking one prescription and a few supplements.”

Stephanie’s eyes widened slightly as she processed that information. Then asked, “How are things since you came home from treatment?”

Dieter took a minute to respond to that as he stared at the floor in thought, getting slightly emotional before looking back at Stephanie.

“Better than I could’ve ever imagined…probably better than I deserve after the way I treated everyone. I don’t think I could be happier, and I feel…whole. I’m closer than I’ve ever been with my family and Talia has been so fucking amazing with everything. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without her.”

Stephanie smiled at his words, “Last question…why did you want to do this docuseries?”

Dieter chewed on his lip as he rubbed at his right palm with his left thumb. I knew what he wanted to say, and he was nervous about the repercussions it could have.

“I’ve spent a lot of years in this industry…and I see how the topic of mental health is handled. It’s not taken seriously, or it has a certain stigma attached to it. Most of the time…the environment actually perpetuates the issue in a lot of instances. There’s no support or allowances for those kinds of things in most cases and you can quickly become an outcast in the industry when things get out of control. A lot of the time, they just wanna pump you full of prescription drugs to keep you going instead of getting to the root of the problem and helping you get better.”

He paused briefly, letting out a slow breath before he continued, “After spending a lot of time with others in treatment, I realized that the stigma extends to outside the industry as well. It’s not just a Hollywood problem, it’s a society program. So, I really wanna work to raise awareness on it…to change people’s views and even help change the way mental health disorders are treated. It needs to be a holistic approach, not just a blanket treatment. Everyone is different and has different needs. Another thing is…the facility I went to focused on treating the family unit and not just the person who was experiencing a mental health crisis. The caretakers need support too. It truly does take a team effort for successful recovery…and I would really love to see the kind of treatment I received become the norm rather than the exception.”

Stephanie smiled, nodding in approval at his answer. “Alright, I think that’s a wrap with you, Dieter. Talia, do you mind if we take a few minutes to discuss your role as the caretaker and the support you’re receiving for that? I don’t think we’ve talked about that at all.”

I agreed, quickly shifting gears in my thought process. Dieter and I swapped places. He watched as Stephanie got in her last-minute questions with me. Even going back to have me offer input on the topics Dieter had covered. Once we finished, Dieter and I helped them pack everything up and said our goodbyes as they exited the house for the last time. As soon as the door shut, he turned to me with a nervous expression, “So, how do you think that last bit went?”

I walked over and wrapped my arms around his neck as he hugged me around the middle. “I think you did amazing and I’m proud of you. I feel like it's gonna have a bigger impact than we can comprehend right now. I can’t wait to see how you guys edit everything together.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, now the hard part begins.”

I felt so much pride for him at that moment. We knew this could cause some waves and even affect his career, but he was willing to take the risk. Something told me that this docuseries had the potential to change a lot of things in his life and the life of others. I just hoped it was for the better.

A/N: This chapter ended up going in a different direction than I had intended, but I think I like this better. I really wanted to highlight how open and vulnerable Dieter was being about what he had experienced. He held nothing back and was willing to show the world what he was and is currently going through in relation to his mental health. There were definitely some raw moments captured for the docuseries that most people wouldn't want to share in his situation, but he’s all in. How do you guys feel about the docuseries? Good or bad idea? What do you think the outcome will be? Were you shocked with how Talia handled it and went all in with him? Talia is also officially out in the public eye now. How do you think she is going to handle that? Dieter is working double time to show how awesome she is and how much he cares for her. Don’t you just love his cheesy social media posts about her? 🤭😏 Rylee is back! Yay for that! Also, can I just say Will is amazing and suck it, Ty? I feel like that needs to be said. So, there is officially one chapter left and the Epilogue. I know, I know...I said that at the end of the last chapter. However, it’s true this time. Both of those have been written, I just have editing left. I plan to release them weekly until the series concludes. 😭 👉 In case you missed it, I do plan to cover the events of this fic from Dieter's POV. Which means you get a companion series from him, called The Light in the Darkness. I plan to work on that and Closed Position concurrently after this fic concludes. 👉 Just a reminder, The Knight & His Queen was posted over the holidays. This is a four-part series, and it has been posted in its entirety. It's another Dieter Bravo fic where our beloved trash panda takes a dive into the world of mystics, tarot readings, and love. Give it a read. It's fun, fluffy, and fairly angst free.

Next Chapter

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Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #destiny & deliverance series

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whatsupbomb · 2 years ago

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🦁My astro observations🦁

Long time no see. I've been dealing with toxic surroundings for a long time and lost all my health because of it. Now I don't care about anything anyone does to me. I hope to write more about astrology and not my personal problems I swear. It's time for me to come back cause you need my knowledge 😎

Moon is about people in a woman's life who can change her destiny and greatly impact her life since Moon is responsible for periods →

When you check natal chart of your periods, you can see that it will show the events for the whole month up to the next periods

When man likes you, he will behave like your father (natal chart which is Sun persona chart). 1st house is how he will behave when he first meets you

Planets on Ascendant show how men who like a woman feel about her. For example, with Mercury they want to praise her and sing her serenades. With Proserpina they get attached to her and it's hard to forget her. With Venus men see her as a wife material who can raise their kids and take care of their househould

Conjuctions to Jupiter in synastry or composite chart make your partner very giving and abundant. You make him want to earn more to spoil you because he sees potential in you

Oppositions to woman's Vesta in synastry makes your partner live far away from you. He wants to protect you from any harm, but it's impossible because of the distance between you two. But when you meet in real life you can ask him for protection anytime. He might behave like a strict father who protects her daughter when he's with you

Conjuctions to Mars in synastry makes your partner see you as his family member. You spend lots of time together because you can give something that you both lack to each other

Saturn in synastry teaches both partners to be careful about their doings. They prevent each other from ruining their life. For example, with Saturn in Conjuction to Sun your partner will prevent you from star fever

Chiron in synastry makes your partner help you to get rid of toxicity in your life that poisons you. He sees what makes your life miserable and acts like your personal psychologist by giving you meaningful advices on how to better your life

Chiron on house cusps in solar return chart makes you fight over something that people try to steal from you. After this fight Chiron gives you justice by getting rid of something or someone that prevents you from developing in a house cusp sphere

Your job and colleagues can be any house in my observation. When you work on mutual projects like a movie, for example, it's the 7th house. 6th house is a routine job that you can't leave because people at this job need you (teacher, nanny, doctor). 4th house is signing lots of contracts as your job. 11th house is working as an influencer on social media (especially, famous YouTubers). 10th house is being the boss at your job. 8th house is working in economics with other people's money (banks). 5th house is working with real estate. 12th house is being worldwide famous celebrity because this house is responsible for long distance travels. 2nd house is being a freelancer with your own business because it's a house of independence and making your own bread. 1st house is being a public person as your job who's recognized and respected by many (probably jobs that require working with poor people). 3rd house is working as a courier/guide or other jobs which require constantly moving on your feet. 9th house is teaching other people your wisdom (most likely university teachers and priests)

Pets are your Venus because it's about someone who brings you comfort

Some astrologers say that Jupiter is your husband. I can agree with that because Jupiter brings you abundance, luck and happiness. Most of the times men in a marriage provide for women even if she earns good money. Women usually don't feel happy with their earnings. They want to be able to buy anything they want

Interesting how in mythology Jupiter is cheating on his wife with many women. Some wives don't leave their cheating husbands because they're not happy with their earnings. They think they deserve more than other women. They might even do magic on their husbands like accidentally getting pregnant to make them attached to her even after the divorce, so, he can pay her child support which she will spend on herself mostly lol

Strong Black Moon Lilith (#h13) on house cusps and in Conjuctions makes you a great wild animal trainer (or nanny to some crazy kid). You can make animals do anything because you can communicate with them through telepathy. You can actually feel what they need when you look at them

Also, strong Black Moon Lilith makes you want to save stray animals. You hate it when someone hurts them. You want to bring justice to them

It's hard for people with strong North Node to be faithful to their partner. They always have hidden affairs. Only someone with strong Black Moon Lilith can tame them. Especially, if it's Conjucting their North Node in synastry

People with strong Moon are attached to the people they love, but they feel distance or huge differences between them both. For example, young Severus Snape and Lily Potter. Young Severus Snape actually has Moon appearance: shiny looking fair face, plump cheeks and full lips. People with strong Moon also work as secret agents. They have the ability to fit in any group

North Node can show job characteristics that you're gonna have for your whole life because North Node is where you're headed in your life

South Node might show your favourite singers and artists because in my observations South Node is your subconscious (someone who you really are, but didn't realise it yet). South Node people help you realise your truth through words, music, paintings

South Node is the south point of the Moon (your mask in front of people). We can say that South Node is Moon in fall and North Node is Moon in exaltation. Which means that South Node is how you behave when people are gone and you have your alone time (for example, listening to music). And North Node is how you behave in front of people to impress them (your fake self that you don't actually like and respect)

Uranus people scare you because they have unique views they aggressively wanna instill in others since Uranus is exalted in Scorpio which gives Uranus people ability to be remembered by stinging others with their opinions. People with Uranus on Ascendant are very unpleasant when they propagand their views (for example, Chris Evans who posted sexual organ on his Twitter to propagand political views of his father who's actually a politician as far as I remember)

People with Neptune on Ascendant think that nobody can see their rotten soul and wrongdoings because they're disillusional about their public reputation (1st house). They lie a lot about their achievements and try to steal someone else's fame all the time. I think that Kim K has Neptune on Ascendant. She always uses other celebritites to show she's a saint before them

I think that's all for now. Thanks for reading 💕

#astro observations #synastry aspects #jupiter conjuctions #synastry observations #astro notes #celebrity astrology #celebrity natal chart #astrology

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locution-youngster-enjoyer · 4 months ago

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💗Granny May

💗The Narrator

💗Leslie

💗Charlie and Meatloaf

Oh sweet Jesus Christ /hj

You’ve opened a whole can of worms with that one, ESPECIALLY for the Narrator

Granny May

I don’t have a lot to say about her because I don’t care that much about her overall, so I don’t have that much to say about her backstory-

She’s been in the villain business for a long long time and was more respected in her younger years. Her husband was also a criminal, but before him she dated Hal Hardbargain, who made her the mech suit she uses. They’re now bitter exes, and constantly fight because they’re cranky old people. Unfortunately, Granny May’s husband passed away, but she Carrie’s on her villain career because it fulfills her.

Granny’s mom is not a villain, and didn’t exactly approve of Granny’s career, but still loves her a lot.

Eugene and Granny don’t really talk anymore after the shorts. Granny is disappointed he gave up on his villain career so early, but otherwise doesn’t focus much on him.

Uhhhh yeah that’s all I got for her, I haven’t really given her much thought lol-

The Narrator

HAAHAHHAHA oh god

Ok so- in my AU headcanon thing (Idfk at this point), there’s three different levels of reality. There’s the irl world (aka us, yes you person reading this), the middle ground, and any fictional world. Narrator’s live in the middle ground, aware they’re fictional but also living out there own lives in some strange form of free will. This means that it’s possible that any narrator from any media could interact, though it’s typically separated between film/tv show narrators, and game narrators.

Also, most of them without canon names just go with whatever name their VA has, so the Narrator would be named Chris.

Chris is happily married to the Powerpuff Girls Narrator (aka Tom)

Time works differently in the fictional reality (aka the whole show of Wordgirl) then it does in the Middle Ground. Time skips that are shown in the show aren’t actual time skips to the Narrators. Chris will literally just walk off and do something else until whatever time is being skipped to. While he can just stick around after an episode, there’s no real reason to, but he sometimes does so anyway because he actually likes his protagonists.

Tom is a whole separate thing so if y’all want me to talk more about these two please let me know. I love ‘em :))

Idk what else to mention, I just like the silly voice guy

Leslie

MY GIRRLLL. I have so much to say about her

In my au, Leslie and Victoria Best have a strange mentor and student relationship.

This is because that Leslie had a very similar childhood to Victoria. The reason she seems to be so multitalented is because as a kid, her parents put her through so many tournaments and extra curricular activities. Kids viewed her as either weird or mean because she was working all the time. Unlike Victoria, Leslie didn’t constantly boast about being the best, but she did have a silent air of superiority.

Until around 8th grade, when a teacher called CPS on her parents. They lost custody of her (because of the horrible shit they would do to her), and she started living with her grandma.

No longer having the constant force telling her to be perfect, Leslie’s mental health and self confidence tanked. It why as an adult she gets stage fright easily.

She went to a really prestigious high school filled with several people with rich families (including some other characters). One of said characters was Claire McCallister, who she quickly befriended (they also dated briefly, but it didn’t really work out, with them leaving on good terms)

Eventually, her high school and another high school participated in an event where they competed with each other, and that’s where Leslie met Lady Redundant Woman, Ms Question, and Mr Big (pre-transition). She specifically hung out and befriended Shelly, and helped him realize he was trans, so for a while they were absolute best buds.

After school, Leslie started working in economics, but was pretty bored with her life, until she heard of a job opportunity as a secretary for an up and coming company. To her surprise, she ends up reuniting with Mr Big.

Mr Big didn’t originally have Mind Control is his company statement, he suddenly got the idea from a random joke Leslie made that he took way to seriously.

Over time, Leslie started to lose her energy for the job and her self esteem started to sink again. The lack of credit and the overworking she received do nothing to help her.

Charlie and Meatloaf

These guys are so silly :]

Meatloaf’s actual name is Joe

These two were roommates in college and were best buds ever since. They both got a job at a construction company together, and they began to befriend a certain Dr Boxleitner who kept calling for their help because he kept blowing up his lab.

Post the accident, Two Brains ‘hired’ them to come work for him, since they were the only people who he knew and who were willing to help.

They’re also in an asexual relationship with each other

#hhhh #wordgirl #wordgirl villains #Wordgirl granny may #wordgirl narrator #wordgirl leslie #Wordgirl Dr two brains henchmen

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bibliophilicwitch · 3 months ago

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The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton

Adult Science-Fiction feat. diverse cast; physical borrowed from library

So, here’s the thing: Cleo and her friends really, truly didn’t mean to steal this spaceship. They just wanted to know why, twenty years ago, the entire Providence crew vanished without a trace, but then the stupid dark-matter engine started on its own. Now these four twenty-somethings are en route to Proxima Centauri and unable to turn around while being harangued by a hologram that has the face and snide attitude of the ship’s missing captain, Billie. Cleo has dreamt of being an astronaut all her life, and Earth is a lost cause at this point, so this should be one of those blessings in disguise that people talk about. But as the ship travels deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting; old mysteries come crawling back to life; and Cleo’s initially combative relationship with Billie turns into something deeper and more desperate than either woman was prepared for.

The Altar Within by Juliet Diaz

Adult Spirituality Nonfiction; fills a reading challenge prompt and diversifies year reading

The Altar A Radical Devotional to Liberate the Divine Self is a work of spiritual revolution for all peoples, offering them practices and rituals in the arts of self-worship, self-discovery, and self-activism. The Altar Within is like no other approach to Spirituality, breaking through the vicious cycles of harmful and toxic spiritual practices and beliefs. Diaz speaks for those victimized and enslaved by colonization and offers a new take on personal development based in the resounding plea of our ancestors to live our Divined lives, the ones they could not have for themselves. In the book, Diaz leads the reader through an exploration. Pushing back on #lightandlove and #goodvibesonly, Diaz dismantles the wellness industry, releasing readers from the practice of spiritual bypassing into a far more powerful experience of self, healing, hope, and Spirit. This book is for anyone, including those who can't afford to buy all the tools, pay for the expensive memberships, people who have real-life issues, illnesses, and hardships. Through The Altar Within , Diaz brings the Magic to real life, acknowledging our humanness by connecting with our Spirit. The Altar Within will help readers create success in every area of their lives—from wealth, health, relationships, and personal development, to the nourishment of their relationship with the Divine self. As Diaz explains, when we can finally decolonize our spiritual beliefs, Divinity can be a super force in our lives, making us whole, stronger, wiser, and setting us on a path of transcendent activism. #magicalaf

Morbidly Yours by Ivy Fairbanks

Adult Romance feat. demisexual hero; audiobook releasing August 20

Callum Flannelly would rather dive into an open grave than take a stranger to dinner and a movie. But he can only inherit the family undertaking business and carry on their legacy under one condition: He must marry before his 35th birthday. So it’s out of the mortuary and into the dating scene. Lark Thompson would rather get crushed by a falling anvil than stay next to a funeral home during her stay in Galway, Ireland. The vivacious American cartoon creator and animator came here to embrace life, not be reminded of losing her husband. When Lark learns of Callum’s dilemma and aversion to marrying out of necessity rather than love, she agrees to help the introverted mortician. Although sworn off love herself, she is optimistic that Callum can find The One and secure his inheritance. But as the dating project progresses and their friendship grows, so does a mutual attraction. The more time she spends with serious, sarcastic Callum, the more she dreads finding him a match. And the more disastrous dates he endures, the more he dreads Lark’s imminent return to the states. If they think it’s possible to ignore their connection, they’re dead wrong.

#text #poll #personal #blog related #reading related

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ecofinisher · 2 months ago

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Sims Family in Portrait Mod(e)

This is so old, I always wanted to do portraits of Sim families and when I found a mod, I ended up doing them :3 The only thing I didn't do was framing it in the game, lol.

The descriptions are just headcanons written as notes.

ALTO-LINNELL

-They met at school around the age of 17.

-Holly had immediately fallen in love with Davy. Davy on the other hand, didn’t realize that.

-Holly and Davy became friends with the time and were pushed together by the friends of Holly, this bringing them closer.

-The Altos didn’t want to get along with Davy, because he didn’t belong to a prestigious social circle.

-Outside of the Altos, Holly only got along with her uncle Bert Alto, who one day invited the couple to live with him in his house.

-In the future Holly married Davy and took his lastname mainly to stop being identified with the Altos.

-Their first child was a girl and they named her Debby.

-The couple planned to have another child, but major stress around their lives, mainly related with the reputation of the Altos led Holly to go throught two miscarriages in the space of four years.

- Holly had to take a break to improve her mental health due to everything, that has been happening to her.

-Davy has been assisting his wife to all times, knowing well his in-laws weren’t quite the best persons on earth.

-Holly’s biggest support in this situation was her husband Davy and her best friend Bebe Hart.

-Debby as a child in this scene, is aware, that her mother has lost her baby in the past and tries to cheer her up, whenever she desires company.

FURTADO

-Jamie and Jake met during her work as she had to fix a shoot wound he had gotten.

- Both were 27, when they first met and they were 32 as they got married.

-Ocassionally their team would met during missions or lunch breaks out of town.

-Both became friends quickly as both were native in French. Jake spoke French from Canada, while Jamie knew the one from France.

-Both have been equally good at supporting each other during their tough times. Mainly for Jake, who lost his former police partner during an assault.

-Both marry at the registry office as it’s difficult for both to find a day to have a ceremony.

-They have a son only named Johnny.

-Johnny is naturally an introvert and in a foreign place he struggles to make friends. His first friends he met are offsprings of his parent’s work pals.

-Jamie didn’t plan to have a second child due to her and Jake’s busy work schedule. The second issue would be the amount of stress at work, could make things harder for her during the pregnancy.

-Johnny is part of the school soccer academy along with other boys from the neighborhood.

-His best friend is Kari Clavell, who unbeknowest to his family is the offspring of a criminal couple.

CALIENTE

-Dina grew up in a strange ambient and lost her mother, when she was a child.

-Diogo grew up in a poor local with his younger sister.

-Diogo left his home and studied to become a jet fighter.

-Dina had no idea, where to go exactly and got herself a job as a cook and a barista to be able to sustain herself, while her twin sister did the same.

-At a night Dina had met Diogo, who was sad about something and Dina tried to cheer him. Upon figuring out, he was a sort of pilot she wooed him to earn his attention on her.

-She had gotten together with Diogo and quickly found out she was expecting a baby from him.

-Unable to tell the happy soon-to-be father about her not wanting the baby, she kept her ideas a secret and was promised by her older sister, that she was going to help her.

-During the months, Dina had forgotten about the plans and warmed up to Diogo’s presence around her, who wanted to make sure everything was alright.

-When Dina gave birth to her son Guillermo, she had gained a new sentiment she couldn’t explain it, but whatever it was it had to do with the fact she now wa a mother and had this precious being in her arms. Nina as well understood, what happened and accepted Dina’s new stage.

-With the time passing by, Diogo had found a new job, so he could be more around his new family and look for their son as well.

-Dina has also get used to her new surrounding and appreciated her new role.

-A few years later the couple had a second son together named Santiago.

-Both their sisters moved into their neighborhood to be more often around them for assitance.

SEKEMOTO

-Leighton’s wife has passed away on the time their common son Sam was an infant.

-According to doctors it is presumed his wife had ended her life by herself.

-Leighton slowly accepted with the time what happened and focused on raising his son, with help of his mother, who moved into his house to help him.

-With 26 he met the police woman Blair Wainwright, who had passed him a ticket for parking on the sidewalk.

-Blair upon seeing, that Leighton was a single father struggling with money for the son’s trip at the CRECHE, she felt bad about it and offered to pay for him the trip with her own money.

-Leighton befriended Blair for her kind offer and got to know, that both attended a beneficial institute at Riverview once in a while.

-Over the time they began to date and Blair often visited Leighton to see how things were going. She babysat Sam once in a while and he got used to see her often. He appreciated, when she would play with him with his toys.

-Two years later both got married and had their first common child together Johnathan.

- Sam and Johnathan became best friends and had a great bond.

-Sam as a child is neutral with the knowledge, that Blair isn’t his real mother. Within the time, he bonds with his step-mother and gets along with her.

-Blair saw Sam as her son, just made sure to give him the needed distance and still look for his well-being.

CLAVELL

-Ayesha and Xander met at work with 24 years.

-Ayesha has to train Xander and they become friends.

-They both are logisticians but are undercover to work as criminals to perform heists.

-Xander with the time gets to know from her and her work pals about her past and why she’s as tough as she is.

-Xander ends up developing feelings for her and Ayesha notices it.

-Xander failed with many attempts to get Ayesha’s interest, but she played hard to get for the man.

-With the time, she had been playing around she began to fall in love with the man as well, but still preventing her friend to get closer to her.

-During a successful heist, both had celebrated together about it and Xander ends up kissing her by mistake, but to his luck she recipocrated it.

-They moved to Sunlit Tides with their gang as one of their heists, had revealed their identities and to stay away from danger they were helped by an corrupt politican from the island to stay down there safe.

-The couple got married under the island’s registry office and had a private wedding with their teammates only and Xander’s father.

-Their first child was a girl named Kari Clavell and their youngest son Tyler Clavell was born Five years later.

-Their life in Sunlit Tides is calm now as their criminal antics is inactive for a few years.

Langerak

-River and Parker were acquaintances at their school.

-Both became friends as River met Parker at the library struggling to find books to learn with. She had offered to help him study as both were classmates.

-The long time they spent daily for their homework had fastened their friendship and both spoke about their different pasts.

-Parker had grew a softer spot for knowing her negative experiences in the past. With the time he worked with her, he began to get maturer in certain aspects and improve better as a person.

-Around the annual prom night, both had admitted to have an attraction for another and started dating a couple of days later.

-River has suddenly gain other students’ interest due to her being around Ethan’s best friend and she could get to know them better and the other way around.

-During college, River and Parker shared a room together at the male/female dormitory. Over the time they spoke about what they could do after college and moved into their first home together, now living on their own without roommates.

-On the first year of living together, Parker had proposed to River.

-A year later they had gotten married and on said moment River was already on the first trimester of their first child, which only around four people knew about.

-Ruby Langerak was their first child and a few years later, they had a baby boy named Robert Langerak.

-Ruby has been gifted with an eidetic memory and is on the list of the top smart students.

-River and Parker are both employed at the theater. Parker is a simple stagehand and River found her talent in composing musicals.

-Despite River having the chance to gain more money and success for her talent, she preferred to stick back in Sunset Valley as her found family was her biggest priority and she didn’t want to be gone for several months.

AGRESTE

-Adrien and Kagami met each other in fencing class.

-Their family came from different countries and are wealthy.

-Despite their families different wishes, both students have become friends mainly due to the similarities of their single parents’ raising.

-Adrien’s father was very busy, but strict in terms of having friends, going to school and other things. Kagami’s mother was slighty worse compared to Adriens’ father and barely allowed her to have friends and do specific things.

-Around the age of 17, both teens began to date and were tolerated by their parents as they knew each other by their social state.

-Adrien and Kagami would sometimes lie to their parents and skip fencing class or another meeting to do things, they weren’t allowed to do. Things normal children were allowed to do.

-As Kagami and Adrien went to college, both had gotten intimate with each other, which led a few months later Kagami to realize she had been pregnant for a couple of months.

-Tensed about, how she should confess this to Adrien in this situation with their time in college, she thought about breaking up the pregnancy, but avoided doing that fearing the consequences.

-She decided to talk to him about the situation anyway and both decided to keep the baby together. Adrien would stay in college and finish his studium in time to be at home for the baby, when it would be born.

-At the day their first baby Elliot was born, Adrien proposed Kagami knowing, that she was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

-Adrien failed at the final exams, then stuck for a few months around his new family planning for a plan B as his dream of becoming a doctor didn’t work out.

-An old friend of Adrien gifted him a cat due to an allergic problem and Adrien took it as he was fond of cats.

-With the money he had gained in the past with fencing prizes he used it to start a small business and opened a kennel.

-A few years later they had given birth to a baby girl named Naomi.

KURTZBERG

-Nathaniel and Lila were deskmates at the school.

-They are slighly the opposite, but that made the two become friends quick due to their shy/open nature.

-Nathaniel fell in love with Lila mainly due to her crazy ideas she had brought him into, where he usually would pull her out in fear of getting in trouble or worse.

-Lila adores Nathaniel’s capacity of painting sketches of friends, including her.

-At the age of 16, both started to date each other.

-Due to their parents’ extremly busy schedule, they would secretly overnight at Lila’s house. There were a few times, that Lila convinced Nathaniel to woohoo with her despite their ages. Nobody would ever figure out, while their parents barely were home at their times. Nathaniel indirectly was almost caught by her mother, but Lila was quick enough to come up with an excuse to cover their deeds.

-When Lila and Nathaniel got older, they married at the registry office due to their different religions and had started their first job.

- Their first child was Nathalie Kurtzberg and she was just like her father, shy and artistically talented. Léo Kurtzberg was their second baby and is Six years younger than his older sister.

-The Kurtzberg family moved one day away after a terrible accident at school, that happened to Nathalie with a few pieces of chewing gum forcefully added onto her hair.

-Nathalie found a few friends at her new school and felt better there. She learned from her mother and her new friends how to act towards school bullies.

COUFFAINE

-Marinette met Luka at a music festival.

-She needed Luka once for an interview about music intruments and befriended him during the hours she was with him.

-Marinette had eyes for another boy at the school, but an incident led her to be seen bad by him and she gave up believing things were done for her.

-Marinette had trusted Luka with that story, because he had been very supportive of her, due to her anxiety of certain socialization acts. Marinette begins to see in Luka more, than she saw before and felt nervous about how to handle that.

-Marinette managed to obtain from Luka a kiss with an advice of a friend and figured out Luka already liked her before.

-After school ended for the two, both started a course at her father’s bakery due to being unsure, what to do first and outside of their free time, they worked on their dream.

-Luka adopted from a friend a Black Labrador named Dice.

-Marinette and Luka got engaged and both were pulled by their friends into a bachelor party before their ceremony. Both disliked the topics of their bachelor party, mainly Luka whose friends made one of his band mates drunk, nearly ruining his life.

-Later on, Luka switched to work on a theater as a stage hand and had with a few work pals a garage band. Marinette on the other hand, had a part-time job as a tailor as she was expecting her first child.

-Rouven Couffaine is the only child the couple had and as Marinette had passed throught a complicated labor, she preferred she didn’t want to pass through it again.

HART-BUNCH

-Ethan and Bebe have been dating since the age of 16.

-They have befriended each other, because of Holly and Parker.

-Ethan and Bebe went to college to study medicine and sciene to be able to get a job in said area.

- They got married around the end of their college time and had together a baby boy named Jesse.

-They’re planning on having a second child, but at the moment with their job their time seems to be limited. They decided to wait, seeing how it would turn out.

-Jesse at the moment, is fine with being a lonely child. He often plays with his school friends or his cousin Zayn Alvi.

-Jesse also attends a soccer club along with his cousin Zayn and other classmates.

- Bebe and Ethan once in a while have encounter with their old friends Holly Alto and Parker Langerak.

RODRIGUEZ

-Rollan and Gerda met during a dinner of a common friend of theirs.

- Gerda knew her friend since she was a child and Rollan met the friend a couple of months ago.

-Both Gerda and Rollan had immediately gotten interested in each other, mainly due to their different origins.

-On the monthly horse race in Apaloosa Plains both happened to meet there again with their horses and decided to meet up more often at trainings with their horses.

-The two instantly became good friends, later falling in love as well.

-I only a year of dating, both have moved in together and with the prizes they won at competitions they bought a farm to have their horses there and grow several veggetables for sale.

-In the future, both got married and had twins named Helena and Roscoe Rodriguez.

-Besides their horses on the farm, they have a two dogs and a chicken house with Twelve hens.

NORGAY

-Jin and Yi know each other since toddlers. Their mothers were since teenagers the best friends and became neighbors at some point of their lives.

-Jin and Yi played often during their childhood and were like siblings.

-With the time he got older, he began to develop feelings for Yi, but unaware what to do about it he didn’t say anything.

-Yi’s father suddenly passed away, this separating Yi and Jin from each other mainly related with the mourning Yi didn’t seem to want to cope with at the start.

-The two friends outlived each other during the first year. Yi grown introverted and lonely trying to keep herself occupied to forget about her father, while Jin grew self-confident and getting popular at the school upon being hit by puberty with good looks and charisma.

-Two accidental trips led the two to solve their tension and past history, that bringning the two closer again.

- Their second trip happened to their younger friend, who wanted to fight off a injustice against Jin and Yi’s will, but they followed him to prevent anything to happen to him. Thanks to their friend, both Jin and Yi had fallen in love (again) and opened up about their feelings.

-Up to college both friends followed a different direction, despite dating each other now.

-In the next Eight years Jin and Yi had gotten married and have two children together. Zheng and Sihena. The kids had an age gap of three years.

-Jin became a simple house doctor and Yi a veterinarian assistant.

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gynaiko · 3 months ago

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𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 :

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ 1 ]⠀⠀ᑦᴬᴿᴹᴵᴸᴸᴬ ˒⠀⠀⠀⠀CANON COMPLIANT. AGED 47. Carmilla [ Carmela ] Carmine, one of Hell’s most powerful Overlords, reigns over the weapons trade with an iron fist. As the mastermind behind firearms laced with angelic technology, her empire is both feared & respected. With a keen intellect & a no-nonsense attitude, Carmilla tolerates no disrespect & values efficiency above all else. Her grace as a dancer mirrors her business acumen — disciplined, elegant, & deadly precise. Beyond her stoic exterior, Carmilla sees potential in the ambitious, serving as a mentor to those worthy of her time. Her wisdom & power make her a force to be reckoned with in Hell’s ruthless hierarchy,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ 2 ]⠀⠀ᔆᵀᴱᴸᴸᴬ ˒⠀⠀⠀⠀CANON DIVERGENT. BIO HERE;

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ 3 ]⠀⠀ᴸᴼᴼᴺᴬ ˒⠀⠀⠀⠀CANON COMPLIANT. AGED 22. Loona is a cynical, aloof hellhound who works as the receptionist for IMP. With a sharp tongue & zero patience, she often displays a disinterested & standoffish attitude toward her co-workers, preferring to scroll through her phone / social media rather than engage in-person. Despite her tough, abrasive exterior, Loona shows glimpses of a more vulnerable side, particularly in her complicated relationship with her adoptive father, Blitzo ( if you were to ask her, he’s not exactly her father, but he’s… well, he’s something! ). She rarely hides her disdain for the world around her, embracing her rebellious & detached demeanor in order to protect herself / mental health, while secretly craving deeper connections despite her efforts to push others away,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ 4 ]⠀⠀ᴸᴬᴰᵞ ˒⠀⠀⠀⠀CANON DIVERGENT / FLEXIBLE . AGED 45. Once a loving & hopeful woman, she was caught in the crossfire of her family’s criminal dealings. After losing her beloved fiancé, she was forced to wed Crimson, her life stolen away. She had dissociated for several years until she birthed their one & only child, Moxxie, who breathed hope / life into her again. She had a reason to live once more. Eventually, she attempted to flee with Moxxie from their wretched life, but Crimson intervened. Though initially believed dead, Crimson actually imprisoned her; now a mere shell of her former self, Lady is haunted by grief, bitterness, & the weight of her tragic past. Locked away for years, she clings to the fragments of her identity, broken yet defiant. Crimson’s possessive grip may have shattered her spirit, but the flicker of resistance within her is far from extinguished,

Her default verse is one tied with @/m0bst3r; however, for scenarios for interaction, Lady has actually escaped confinement & currently works odd-jobs where she can,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ 5 ]⠀⠀ᴹᴬᵞᴮᴱᴿᴿᵞ ˒⠀⠀⠀⠀CANON DIVERGENT / HEADCANON BASED. AGED 32. Mayberry, a sweet-natured schoolteacher, was pushed to the brink after discovering her husband’s infidelity. In a fit of rage, she took his life, an act that sealed her fate in Hell. Now, trapped in Hell, Mrs. Mayberry is haunted by the consequences of her actions & the lost innocence of her former life

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ 6 ]⠀⠀ᶠᴿᴬᴺᑦᴱᔆᑦᴬ ˒⠀⠀⠀⠀CANON COMPLIANT / HEADCANON BASED. AGED 37. Originally hailing from the Lust ring, Francesca, Crimson’s loyal maid, serves in the shadows of his criminal empire, silently witnessing the brutality & manipulation that surrounds her. Sharp & observant, she keeps her head low, but nothing escapes her notice. Though bound to her role by circumstance, Francesca harbors secrets of her own, knowing more about Crimson’s operations than anyone suspects. Her stoic exterior hides a calculating mind, and as tensions rise in the household, Francesca may one day find herself at the crossroads of loyalty & self-preservation ( not that she’ll tell you that, of course ) - she’s worked for Crimson for several years & has family in Lust,

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talesfromasnarkylisa · 4 months ago

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Stranded In Arendelle: Chapter 3

After finalizing the trade deal with Arendelle, Rapunzel decided to talk to Eugene. Much as she enjoyed hanging out with the populace, she had a bad feeling the gathering was going to go awry.

“Darling, I think we should go soon,” she told her husband.

Eugene was busy hanging out with a prince when Rapunzel approached him.

“Why?” Eugene was confused. “We’re having the times of our lives here! No property disputes to solve, no world ending disaster. What could possibly go wrong?”

“A lot, actually,” Rapunzel sighed. “The queen is as friendly as a rock. Actually, no. Rocks have way more personality than her. She absolutely refuses to directly negotiate with me. Her sister’s trying to marry a money-grabbing Southern Isles prince. She says Elsa would approve, but I just can’t see that happening. And I have no damn clue as to whether there’s a curse or a vengeful lost royal with magical powers, but there sure as hell are people with a serious vendetta against Arendelle!”

“Calm down, sweetheart,” Eugene tried to comfort her. “I’m sure there are enough bodyguards to secure everything.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that,” worried Rapunzel. “I also talked to the advisor, and he told me Arendelle has a lot of enemies. Thus why they needed the trade deal.”

Eugene thought about what Rapunzel was saying. He was starting to worry a little, too. There were a lot of land disputes back in Corona. And with King Frederic’s state of health, it would be unwise to leave the kingdom with just him for too long.

“Ok, we’ll leave by the end of today,” he stated. “I just need to finish up discussing some possibly useful weapons for Corona’s defenses.”

“Fine by me,” Rapunzel responded.

…

To say there was quite a scene when Rapunzel and Eugene got back into the castle would be quite the understatement. As Rapunzel predicted, Queen Elsa was very much not fine with the red-haired prince - who as it turned out, was Prince Hans - marrying Anna. Everyone in the room stopped to watch their spat.

So much for that discussion, Eugene was disappointed.

The royals of Corona tried to get out of the castle. But before they could even leave the throne room, the doors behind them shut and locked. Anna pulled off one of Elsa’s gloves. The next thing Eugene and Rapunzel knew, the queen summoned ice spikes with her hand.

Looks like I know who has winter powers now, figured Rapunzel.

She pressed the button on Varian’s unfreezing device to keep the spikes from attacking her. As Elsa fled the palace, a snowstorm was left in her midst. Everyone - from the coronation guests to Anna to the populace at large - were shocked. In the distance, tourist cruises were rapidly departing to escape the icy weather.

“Run,” Eugene stared at Rapunzel. “If we get to one of those ships in time, we’ll at least make it out of here.”

Rapunzel obliged. They ran through snow, slush, and wind. They took every carriage possible until the services closed due to the worsening snowfall. Eugene slipped on ice twice, but only got a few bruises. The two made it to the dock when the last boat left.

They were now stranded in Arendelle.

July 22nd, 1843

Rapunzel and Eugene were in the library they initially planned to get Arendelle maps from. The princess was busy using the telegraph. After having trouble deciphering its beeps and boops at first, she took an instruction manual from one of the shelves.

“Any luck with the telegraph, Rapunzel?” asked Eugene.

“It’s taking forever to operate the damn thing,” she answered. “But yes. Varian’s almost done fixing an airship to send here for us in a few days.”

“With this kind of weather,” Eugene despaired, “I’m not sure an airship’s going to make it.”

Rapunzel closed the instruction manual for the telegraph.

“There should be antifreeze devices on the airship,” Rapunzel stated. “Besides, we were originally supposed to be gone for a week anyway.”

“True,” Eugene responded.

All of the sudden, Rapunzel spotted Nuru in the library. She waved to her, and Nuru approached Rapunzel.

“Hello!” greeted Nuru. “What are you two doing here?”

“We were trying to get the telegraph to work,” stated Rapunzel. “so we could get back to Corona on time.”

“Oh,” Nuru put some books in her bag. “Do you have any idea where books about meteorites might be?”

As Eugene went to talk to the librarian. Rapunzel cleaned up the telegraph.

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I haven’t been to Arendelle before. Ask Eugene when he comes back. Maybe he’ll know.”

“Ok,” said Nuru. “It’s just that my kingdom has dealt with meteorite attacks for about a decade now.”

Something clicked into Rapunzel’s head. Meteor showers. Hawada. State of emergency. She suddenly remembered part of why Corona needed the Arendellian trade deal; because Arendelle had been refusing to directly help Hawada for a while now and King Frederic wanted to. Unfortunately, Rapunzel had no idea how to help Nuru beyond the rather shaky trade deal the former made to get enough money.

“You know,” Nuru told Rapunzel, “I’ve never experienced snow in my life. I kind of want to enjoy all the frozen white crystals outside. Make snow angels, build snowmen. Wanna come?”

Right, thought the princess of Corona. Nuru’s 16.

“When Eugene comes back,” Rapunzel responded. “I think he could use the fun too.”

“Yay!” exclaimed Princess Nuru.

…

Once Eugene came back, Rapunzel and Nuru started building a snowman outside. Eugene needed to finish up securing those weapons for Corona first, but he promised Rapunzel he’d come back to see the final product.

“There’s so much snow!” Nuru exclaimed. “It doesn’t even go below freezing back home,”

“First time for everything,” said Rapunzel.

Rapunzel gathered the carrot and buttons for the snowman’s face. In the meantime, Nuru struggled to find good packing snow.

“How do I make this into a snowball?” Nuru was frustrated.

“Look for snow that’s kind of sticky,” answered Rapunzel. “Close to warmer spots.”

“But isn’t snow supposed to be cold?” asked Nuru.

“Yes,” Rapunzel responded, “but not too cold.”

The two princesses were interrupted by a raven haired woman walking by. Slightly younger than Rapunzel, she was fair skinned and wore a grey overcoat on top of peasant clothing.

“Cool snowman!” she complimented. “Who built it?”

“Both of us,” stated Rapunzel.

“I’m Princess Nuru, by the way,” Nuru told the woman.

The woman in the gray jacket smiled.

“Nice to meet you both!” she exclaimed. “The name’s Kirsti, for the record.”

“Do you know where Eugene Fitzherbert is?” Rapunzel realized that it was a long time since her husband left.

“The brunet southern guard captain?” wondered Kirsti.

“Yes,” responded Rapunzel.

“I saw him with a bunch of well-dressed men,” said Kirsti. “Either castle guards or soldiers. He didn’t seem happy to be with them.”

Rapunzel dropped the snowball she just started packing.

“I have to go now,” she told the two women.

“Bye!” Kirsti left.

“May I come with you, Rapunzel?” asked Nuru.

Rapunzel sighed.

“Eugene could be in a very complex and dangerous situation right now. You’re a teenager. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“That might be true,” answered Nuru. “But this trade deal he’s helping out with affects my country which I’m representing here. Which I’m running half the time at this point, even though there’s an acting regent.”

The princess of Corona thought for a bit. Considering the alternative would have been to leave Nuru to fend for herself in a snowy foreign kingdom alone with a shady Westergaard in charge, Rapunzel decided to let Nuru come with her. (Wattpad version: https://www.wattpad.com/1462062364-stranded-in-arendelle-chapter-3)

#creative writing #story #storytelling #tumblr #tumblr stuff #writing #eugene fitzherbert #crossover #fanfic #fanfiction #rapunzel’s tangled adventure #rapunzel #tangled the series #tangled #tangled spoilers #frozen spoilers #frozen

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lothiriel84 · 7 months ago

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So They Went to Cromer

AU. Margaret has no living relations who might take care of her after her father's death, and Mr Thornton feels compelled to beg his mother to do so in his stead.

A North and South ficlet. Background John/Margaret.

“She cannot stay here, John. People are already talking, and you know well enough the mill would hardly survive a scandal of these proportions.”

Her son merely scoffed at what he clearly perceived as a most trivial objection, and she knew from the stubborn set of his jaw that there was nothing she could say that would make him see reason. “The way matters are standing, I have very little hope as it is to keep in business much longer. Mr Hale was my friend, and I owe it to his memory to see to his daughter until alternative arrangements can be made for her comfort.”

Hannah shook her head but relinquished any further attempt at persuasion, at least for the time being. Conscious of her duties towards her unwanted charge, she took herself upstairs to check on that girl. She found Miss Hale precisely where she had left her, her tea untouched as she sat very still with a book in her lap, lost in contemplation of the magnitude of her grief.

“This will never do, Miss Hale,” she sighed, struck afresh by the unwelcome memory of those terrible days she had once spent in a daze of stupefied apathy, before her motherly instincts had finally spurred her into action. “We ought to find you some useful employment – you will feel better for it, I promise.”

She saw a shadow of recognition flicker across the girl’s ashen features. “You are right, Mrs Thornton,” Miss Hale murmured as she stood with aching slowness, and put the book aside. “I would not be more of a burden than I already am.”

If there was one thing Hannah felt sure of, it was that she quite disliked the seaside. So used had she become to being in charge of her son’s household, and helping with the running of the mill besides, that she found this state of forced unemployment quite unsustainable – and if it were not for John’s pleading entreaties that they removed to Cromer for the summer for his own peace of mind, she would not have hesitated to pack herself and Miss Hale on the first train to Milton.

She knew her son was finding Miss Hale’s continued presence in his house exceedingly difficult, despite all his protestations that he was merely concerned for her wellbeing as the orphaned daughter of his late friend, and they could not very well leave the girl to fend off for herself without any friend or relation to protect her. Mr Bell had initially offered to care for Miss Hale, but it had rapidly become apparent that the indifferent state of his health would soon prevent him from undertaking any such a commitment; although some mention had been made in passing of a relation of Mr Hale’s settled somewhere in Spain, there was no question of removing Miss Hale from England until she had recovered sufficient strength to face the journey.

Why Miss Hale’s mysterious lover had not come back to fetch her was something Mrs Thornton could scarcely account for; and while she would not think so badly of the girl as to suspect her of an illicit attachment, surely there had to be some serious impediment preventing the marriage.

All her careful enquires in that direction had yielded nothing but a melancholy declaration on Miss Hale’s part that she knew now she would likely never marry; her relation in Spain would take good care of her, and in turn she would look after his children as if they were her own, and be content.

“I cannot see why John does not offer for her and has done with it,” Fanny stage-whispered once her new husband had taken his leave of both ladies, and Miss Hale had wandered off to stare out to sea as had lately become her habit. “He thinks I do not know, but one ought to be blind not to realise he still cares for her.”

“Your brother will not thank you for meddling in his private business,” Hannah swiftly reprimanded her, and if her tone was more cutting than she meant to employ, it had more to do with her growing suspicions about the state of Miss Hale’s heart than with her daughter’s more immediate transgression.

“John is as much of a fool as Miss Hale is,” Fanny went on, undeterred. “It is not quite the thing, to provide for an unmarried young lady who is entirely unconnected to him – she cannot be blind to the impropriety of it, and yet, for all her pride, she does not object to it.”

“You will not mention any of this before Miss Hale, Fanny, and that is all there is to it,” Hannah commanded in such a manner as brokered no objection. Her daughter pouted, shrugged, and launched herself into a detailed account of all the delicate attentions her dear Mr Watson had seen fit to bestow upon her over the entire course of their wedding trip.

“It is my John, is it not?” Hannah demanded quite brusquely, her hand clasped around Miss Hale’s arm in a vice-like grip. “This man you always speak of with such regret, he’s none other than my son.”

The girl met her penetrating stare with a pensive glance of her own; but it was only for a moment, then her eyes went back to the perpetual movement of the waves crashing onto the seashore. “It does not matter. I have very little doubt he will soon find someone better suited to him – and I wish him every joy of it, for there is scarcely any other man more deserving of such happiness than he is.”

“Miss Hale, you do not know what you speak of,” Hannah shook her head in exasperation, the burden of a beloved son’s disappointment bearing down on her conscience like a millstone. “I know my son’s heart better than my own, and there is very little room in it but for the woman who once saw fit to reject him under no uncertain terms.”

“He told me himself, that he no longer cares for me,” Miss Hale acknowledged in a small voice, her quiet composure wavering only for a moment. “So you see, Mrs Thornton, he is quite safe from me.”

Mrs Thornton all but dismissed the notion with an imperious wave of her hand, and turned to face the girl more fully. “He will not offer for you again unless he is made aware of your changed opinion, Miss Hale. Indeed, he might not even then, because of the precarious state the mill is in – through no fault of his own, if I may add.”

“If he thinks any such consideration would prevent me from accepting him, then he does not know me at all,” Miss Hale declared with unanticipated passion, her cheeks colouring as she instantly regretted her forwardness.

Hannah regarded her for a long moment, and it was as if she was seeing the girl for the first time; then she nodded to herself, and accepting Miss Hale’s arm once more, they strolled back in a silence that was, if not companionable, at least no longer hostile on either part.

John had come at last to fetch them back to Milton, and there was something so distracted about his manner his concerned mother could scarcely refrain herself from enquiring about it.

“He was her brother,” her son uttered, as if in wonder, holding out a letter marked from Cadiz, Spain. “I have been such a fool, Mother, and now it is much too late.”

“Nonsense,” Hannah declared with unmovable conviction. “She is right here, and unmarried still. I have been wrong before, but I know for a fact she would more than welcome your addresses now. All you need do is ask, son, and you shall be given.”

“I cannot credit it, Mother,” he replied, slowly, and there was something exceedingly pained to his tone. “And even if by some miracle she has indeed come to care for me, how could I ever – she deserves so much better than to find herself tied to a failed mill Master, unable to provide for his own family in the manner any respectable man ought to.”

“I have every faith in you, son,” Hannah proclaimed, placing both hands on his shoulders. “And so you should have faith in God’s own Providence, and the strength of a woman’s true devotion through many a shared adversity.”

She saw his gaze drift, almost against his will, in the direction Miss Hale had walked off. “Her brother has a greater claim on her, you must see that.”

“Go to her, son,” his mother entreated him once more, and when he finally did, she found her lips curling in the faintest suggestion of a smile.

#North and South #Hannah Thornton #Margaret Hale #John Thornton #Fanny Thornton #Margaret/John #alternate universe #canon divergence #historical inaccuracies #I don't even know #I wrote a thing #(the title is a reference to 'Norman and Norma' by The Divine Comedy)#Mixing Memory and Desire (collection)

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castleashorses · 8 months ago

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Mrs. Lovett’s pie shop had been the spot for many a patron as of late, but she sold nary a pie in that same time. The semi constant flow of neighbors had come to gift her their condolences for the loss of her, now late, husband Albert, but none felt the need to buy something.

Most sought her with pity in their eyes, knowing that Albert was the purse strings that held her entire operation together. But the money had dwindled with his health and with it the quality of her goods. She estimated she’d be out of money before the end of the year, a scant 2 and a half months. A hard timeframe to cut a profit and stay viable on the financially bleak Fleet Street. Mrs. Mooney held the market and Mrs. Lovett, well she held the gaze of a few lads who would indulge in her company over a pie or two. So she would smile, wink, let her touch linger a moment too long, just to put a pence or two in the till. Never anything more, but enough to keep them coming back for the promise of it.

Albert never noticed, if he did he never cared enough to say so, they often just lived together alone, except for the nights when they’d share a bed and the very rare romp. In a passive peacefulness with financial security and a life plagued with boredom and little else.

She did have a fondness for him, she wouldn’t have been able to manage if she didn’t but he was twice her age, in poor health, and a lumbering fellow she’d been heavily encouraged to wed. Stability was the goal and it was easily check off with him.

Her family had no prospects, no means to elevate her status, but with Albert she moved up a peg, she could have some control over her life and with it a quaint shop.

But that would soon be taken too if she couldn’t scrape together enough money to keep herself afloat.

After the acceptable mourning period passed, fewer people dropped until they stopped altogether. A month she noted to herself, that’s how long it takes for someone to forget about a pretty, young widow left to hang in her own web.

So it came as a surprise to her when the bell on her shop door chimed one afternoon.

‘A customer?!’ She whispered to herself as she hurried from the parlor where she’d been haunting the cabinets looking for things she could sell for a pence or two.

Before her, in the middle of her shop stood a man surrounded in the afternoon light. She stared, confused, examining him with curiosity, perhaps he said hello, but she didn’t hear it. Her mind somehow wanders back to reality to greet him.

“You must be lost,” she retorts, doing a scan of him from head to toe, he doesn’t seem to get the joke and she deduces quickly he’s not from around here. So she restarts, “What can I get ya?!”

It’s chipper and grating and reeks of desperation.

He seems nervous, cloaked in a black wool jacket, a crisp white shirt, and suspenders. She always liked a fella in suspenders. A handsome man, young, maybe a little older than her, clean shaven, with a brightness in his eyes.

“I had spoken to a Mrs. Talbert about needing a residence and she said you may be able to help.” He sticks his hand out awkwardly, “Benjamin, Benjamin Barker.”

“Nellie Lovett.” And she takes his soft hand with a firm grip. Electricity thrumming through her at the touch. Soft hands, not a laborer.

She is, however, confused. Mrs. Talbert ran a small shop down the street selling hats and other wears with her husband. They weren’t particularly close, a polite hello in the local town square, a few pleasantries. She was successful and a step above her station, a beacon of propriety who had no qualms elevating her image by scandalizing another’s.

Now why would Mrs. Talbert be sending a young man her way… oh.

The young widow needed a young fellow to revive her image. A woman living alone maintaining a business without a husband, scandalous. An easy and quick match if they wished to avoid becoming pariahs. At least she had good taste.

Perhaps she thought she’d be saving her from being pushed onto the streets to service the sailors.

“The room, upstairs. She said you had a room upstairs that may be available.”

She had mentioned it briefly to others who ran in the woman’s social circle. No one keeps a secret it seems. They also likely told her she was running out of money as well. Seems Mrs. Talbert found a way to provide Nellie with some income and a good scandal.

She crosses to him and finds a way to touch him again, giving him a little pat that’s just innocuous enough to pass as friendly. “Oh yes! Yes love of course. Sit, sit, I’ll get some ale and we can chat, eh?”

She takes the seat across from him and offers him the beer, though he doesn’t immediately go for it. Instead he sits up straight and gives her his full attention. Nice to get that without the accompanying bleary eyes for once

“Awfully well dressed for Fleet Street ain’t ya? Mustn’t be from ‘round here.”

He gives her an embarrassed smile, “Close enough.” Though his accent says farther.

It’s quiet as his eyes wander around the room, noticing a painting of a distinguished man on the farthest corner almost out of sight. He assumes her father, perhaps now long gone.

“Do you live here alone?” And he asks with sincerity, more so than most of the others who’d come to ogle, and it sends a sharp pang through her chest as it dawns on her.

“Alone? Yes.” She starts to sink into the feeling before returning to her senses and lightening the mood, “Me poor Albert died this fall, God rest his soul, but I make do.”

“A widow, at such a young age, I’m sorry.”

She would tend to forget her age. Albert being so much older she felt older by proxy, until someone like Benjamin entered her space.

“Tis alright,” she leans further onto the table toward him, “ya never know when a new opportunity will come calling.” Her pointed gaze causes him to drop his eyes to the table.

Too much Nellie, too much.

“How bout a tour?” And stands walking to his corner of the table, a little too close. He considers it, probably wondering about her intentions in having him alone in a private space. The rumors it could illicit for such a strapping young man.

“I don’t think it would be…” and before he can say ‘proper’ or ‘appropriate’ she cuts him off and tugs at his sleeve, “come now love, can’t be setting up without seeing it first.”

She can tell he hasn’t encountered a person like her before. Forward, almost too much, and void of any care for her reputation, or his.

On the contrary she’d love for the gossips to spout off about how she took the handsome young man up the stairs alone.

As they climb the stairs she prattles on, “So, the room ain’t much, there’s a main room, a bedroom, and small kitchen.“ She leaves the door ajar, for his sake, since he still seems uneasy.

“Kinda bare innit it?”

“Oh, no this is perfect.”

He moves around the room mentally placing objects.

She leans against the door frame to start her interrogation.

“What did you say it was ya did?”

“I didn’t. I’m a barber. If it’s alright by you I had hopes of turning this into my own shop.”

Her eyes glow at their shared entrepreneurial spirit. A barber and a baker, she indulges the idea of them running the building as a pair.

“Not at all dear. In fact,” she sidles next to him her shoulder pressed into his as they stand looking down at a vacant spot. “I’d say this spot right here, would be the perfect spot for a barber’s chair.”

He looks down where their bodies meet and then back to her. Whatever fascination may have washed over him is gone quickly as he moves to examine the other corners, but it’s enough to make her feel lightheaded.

“It’s yours then.”

The smile that glosses over his face as he surveys the space a final time is a sight she’ll stamp on this day, and look back on fondly.

He starts for the door, “Should we head downstairs and sort the details?”

“Oh aren’t ya a funny thing!”

And his puzzled look tells her he definitely isn’t from around here, “No details to sort dear, you move in when you like. Rent’ll be on the first of the month.”

He wants it, the room that is, but maybe he’d want her too. But she calms her impatient heart, in good time. She’d work her way into his heart, his life, his bed.

Maybe a small wedding, and a baby, one with her eyes and his crooked smile.

“Well then Mrs. Lovett,” no call me Nellie she wants to say, “I think we have a deal.”

This time when they shake he drapes his other hand over hers and pats. Progress. She yearns to be touched by him over and over, but this will do. Patience.

He’s out the door and on the landing as she fusses with the lock. The space between them minimal. She turns and they’re near flush, she wants to reach up and pull him to her lips, but in a blink he’s descending the stairs and out of sight.

When she catches up she finds him waiting at the counter, “Forget something, Benjamin?” If he won’t call her Nellie, then she won’t call him Mr. Barker.

He’s smiling and lite, “Well now I must have a good sense of the establishment below me, shouldn’t I?” She’s touched that he’s actually going to buy something, that he cares enough to make the effort to start a good relationship with his neighbor. “Two pies please.”

“Quiet the appetite!” She winks at him.

“Oh my wife must sample the goods as well!”

Her heart falls along with the muscles in her face.

“Oh you’re married?”

“Newlyweds actually, last May. She should be coming round from the market soon, I know she’d love to meet you.”

And as if on cue the door bell chimes and in walks a young woman, above her station, in a beautiful gown and bonnet holding a basket of goods and a beautiful bouquet of daisies.

Suddenly she feels old and pungent like a gillyflower discarded on the cobblestone left to rot.

But her lack of cheer doesn’t seem to effect Mr. Barker, it is of course Mr. Barker now, when he rushes to bring her forth and show off his chestnut haired bride.

“Mrs. Lovett this is my wife, Lucy.”

She doesn’t extend her hand, just nods, and Lucy does the same in return. Her hand landing on his chest as she tucks herself closer to his side.

“A pleasure.”

A curse.

—————-

They make quick work of their move and Mrs. Lovett keeps a close eye on the progress as she wanders up from time to time to offer them refreshments and food.

Lucy, while not outwardly annoyed with her, does seem to avoid any unnecessary interaction. Mr. Barker on the other hand always gladly accepts her offerings and she without evidence deduces one of them grew up on harder times than the other. He married up, same as she did.

At night when it’s quiet and she’s alone in her dark room she stares at the ceiling wondering where he may be standing, if it’s above her or in his shop but then the sound of heels dance across her ceiling and her mood sours.

The bitter sting of envy that rolls through her at the fantasy that she could have been the one upstairs if only she’d somehow met a man she never knew right before she knew him. If only she had been born with more to offer.

She buries her head when the noises leave the floor and move to thumping against the wall.

He comes down every so often to chat, spend some money, and then inevitably leave.

She knows Lucy is always lingering close by, keeping a close eye. Mrs. Lovett tries to keep her hands off him but the occasional touch or lingering exchange in money isn’t something she avoids or something Mr. Barker outright rejects, so she indulges.

Lucy only pops down on her own to pay the rent. It’s always a quick transaction smothered in pleasantries and haste.

One day when Mr. Barker takes an extended break from his customers he sits for his meal, a rare occurrence, especially solo. The shop is empty and she takes advantage of the privacy, plopping down in the chair beside him.

He’s sweet, interested, “How’s business?”

She looks around at the empty space, “Never been better.” And it gets a chuckle out of him.

“I do enjoy your company though, nice to see a friendly face voluntarily come in here.”

The smile is sincere and she’s moved by it enough to reach out and grasp his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. He doesn’t pull it away immediately, more finds a new task for it. Lifting a beaker of beer to his lips.

They both startle when the bell chimes and Lucy comes in, that sweet smile plastered on her face. She eyes the beer in his hand.

“My love, there’s a customer who needs attending upstairs.”

He presses the napkin to his mouth before standing and bidding Mrs. Lovett a good day.

Lucy however remains, exasperation closing in around her normally bright demeanor. He is her husband after all.

She conjures up a pitiful face, “He’s too polite to say it, naive even, but I see it so I will say it instead.” She can feel a burn at her feet, slowly rising up her. “I know what you’re doing and it won’t work. I’m sorry Mrs. Lovett, I truly am for your plight and your loss but Benjamin is my husband and you cannot go about indulging in these fantasies.”

There’s sincerity laced in there somewhere but she refuses to see it.

Her silence is met with a heavy, disappointed sigh from Lucy as she leaves without another word.

She spends her day conjuring up hurtful words, water-logging her pillow with the ache of knowing Lucy is ultimately right. She’s not the one he loves, right now at least. That shred of hope that will carry her from now on.

A month passes before she sees him again. She wonders if Lucy told him about their last meeting. Wonders if that’s why he has avoided her.

But she relishes in the sight of him. Her wounds starting to scab as he comes bounding elation. Perhaps he missed her too.

He passes off the rent to her and she’s shocked Lucy didn’t bring it down herself.

“Mrs. Lovett would you happen to have any sweets you could spare?”

“Needing a bit of sugar there Mr. Barker?”

“Oh no, not for me, Lucy’s been having a craving for something sweet.”

She’s not piecing it together and he can tell.

“Surely she’s spoken to you, about… oh well, I guess I can be the harbinger of good news. Lucy and I are to welcome a baby this summer.”

And with a pair of seamstress scissors the finale thread is cut.

She can’t even summon a proper smile, but it doesn’t affect his jubilation.

“Oh,” is what comes out. She forces herself to summon an interest, for his sake, “congratulations are in order then.”

He beams, clearly proud of himself and doting on his wife like the respectable husband he is.

“Let me…” and she’s a little scattered as she turns to find the doorway to the small kitchen behind her, “let me just check in the back, love.” The ache of the word.

As soon as she’s out of view she tips against the wall and just sobs silently. Covering her mouth when she needs to suck in a noisy breath. She can’t go back out there, she can’t let go of the future she imagined for them, him, proud as a peacock, marrying the widow Lovett, parading her around the town square arm and arm with her belly swollen with his child, be taken away. She’ll need time to grieve its loss.

So she calls out, “I don’t seem to have any, dear. Excuse me though I need to check on me pies.”

She waits beyond the threshold until she’s sure he’s gone. Walking back to the counter, exhausted and red eyed, she allows her body to dramatically to fall over the wooden counter.

Her cheek resting along the cutting board. All the tension in her body gone at once.

She hears the bell on the door and without even looking up hurls a pie violently toward whoever dared to interrupt her. Never bothering to look up and see who the lucky patron was.

Despite the finality in his news, it takes her a few days to mentally work around the obstacle of a child and her eventual future with Benjamin. She still can’t tame that small hope that he’d be hers, one day, somehow.

From then on Lucy never brings the rent down, and the only time Mrs. Lovett sees her is when she can summon up a good enough reason to visit upstairs.

“Oh a customer asked if you pomade the hair.” A lie.

“Did ya hear a creaking this morning? I heard a creaking and scratchin’. Maybe the rodents have found a new nest in the wall.” Another lie.

She gets good at lying, cobbling together a world of her own imaginings. Finds that it’s a better place to exist than reality.

Lucy grows tired of her intrusions and starts cutting her off at the door before she can set foot inside. But her stomach grows too big and she’s no longer able to keep her locked out. She tries to become a friend, a confidant to her husband but it becomes apparent after a few hearty conversations that he’s grown unfocused and drifts elsewhere when she chatters. So she eventually locks herself out. Pining from afar.

She keeps his name on the tip of her lips as she rustles her own sheets. Always keeping the image of him at the forefront of her lustful mind.

——————————

Mrs. Lovett is very aware the night Lucy goes into labor, half the neighborhood is. The grunts and screams echo off the stone buildings.

It’s a hard delivery from what she can hear and Benjamin eventually wanders down the stairs after several hours, presumably sent away by the doctor. At this hour the doors are locked so he knocks on the shop door instead. Normally she wouldn’t hear it but she’s wide awake, anticipating the cries of a child at any moment.

“I’m sorry to wake you Mrs. Lovett…” and she doesn’t even let him finish his sentence before she’s ushering him inside, her simple blue robe dragging across the wooden floor, a wisp of cloth underneath. He’s clad in a hastily tucked in shirt and trousers, looking all the worse for wear.

His eyes are red, he’s been crying, coupled with exhaustion he looks a fright. “Come now, don’t get yourself all worked up. How is she doing?” In truth she doesn’t care. She’s yet to decide her feelings on the baby. In a way, that she knows is wrong, she wishes the hardship of her labor might claim her, leaving him a widow with a child she could care for.

He shrugs as she sits him at a table. His head immediately dropping into his hands.

“I don’t know honestly. I’m not terribly familiar with the process.”

“Well coming from a woman, it all seems normal to me dear. These things take time. Come now drink have a little ale, it’ll calm your nerves.”

She sits with him quietly, occasionally checking in between his sips.

The night carries on into dawn and then mid afternoon. The screams die down at last, a tiny wail replacing them.

The baby, at last.

Benjamin is met at the door a few moments later to find the doctor already coming to collect him. A girl she can hear him announce, ushering the new father out.

Mrs. Lovett can’t help herself and follows a few paces behind into the sinking daylight, but stops at the stairs. Even she knows this isn’t her moment to sully.

She stands there for several minutes just staring at the landing before turning to head back inside. The moment she’s at the counter she hears the crazed thumps of shoes rushing around. She peeks back outside in time to see Benajmin being pushed onto the landing of the stairs a tiny white bundle of blankets awkwardly situated invites arms.

“Everything alright up there love?” And he catches her eye in a panic before she bounds up the stairs.

He meets her halfway, begging her to hold the babe as he returns upstairs shouldering the door until he can force it open. She hears him cry out as his daughter gives a rousing yell in return.

She’s heard the cries of grief before, what it likely means.

She immediately regrets her earlier thoughts and wishes she could undo them. Her blinders have dropped in light of the reality of the moment. Her mind shaming her for taking a predatory interest in their life and hopeful dissolution.

She had hoped Lucy would just go away, not die. Never die.

She coos down at the tiny girl and cuddles her close, for once overcome with emotion for Lucy’s wellbeing.

She feels out of place and no one is returning to check on the wee girl so she takes the baby downstairs. Her cries continue as she sets herself down in a corner booth of the pie shop. With her pinky finger scrubbed red and raw washed she offers it to the hungry babe to suckle on.

She’d never been taught what substitutes a breast in these situations, never had a need to, so she gives her a lackluster distraction instead.

She briefly wonders if she herself could persuade her body to dredge up some nourishment, she’d heard tale of such a thing happening from the bawdy Mrs. Craney but the old bat also believed there was a horse living in her attic. So she takes the thought and stows it away for another time.

An hour passes before she hears the bell on the door. She’s surprised to find the doctor standing there, eyes cast downward, covered in blood. For a woman so well acquainted with the messiness of death it churns her stomach a little.

He motions toward the stairs, “Perhaps seeing the child will pull him from his reverie.”

And she nods and starts for the door but the doctor gently stops her, “Cows milk will do if she can thrive, every 3 hours. God help her.”

His passive remark only steels Mrs. Lovett’s resolve. She’ll have none of that talk, shrugging the old man’s hand off her shoulder before heading to the kitchen, grabbing what’s left of the milk, a spoon, and a tea towel.

When she opens the door to the barber’s shop she can see an invisible path of pain to the Barker’s open bedroom door. Peaking in she recoils at the aggressive visual of red stains on white sheets, Benjamin on his knees holding Lucy’s greying hand.

The baby starts to cry, and he turns, eyes red and bloodshot, “Leave me! Leave me now I said!”

And it’s so hard and furious she turns and retreats back to a chair in the barber’s shop careful to stay out of his eye-line.

She sets down the milk and begins to solve the puzzle of feeding the girl. After the spoon fails to produce anything other than a mess she rigs a system with the tea towel where the milk drips down a twisted corner that the baby can suckle. Anything to get her belly full.

She can’t help feeling a maternal swell toward the sight below hers as she lets herself take in the image. So small and warm.

Motherless.

So she hugs her tighter.

The baby drifts off to sleep and she can’t put her down, too afraid her chest will stop rising and no one will notice, so she attempts to breach the threshold of the room again with her in tow.

This time he’s despondent, void of any life. It’s almost worse than the angry grief he sported earlier.

Feeling safe he’s past that, she crouches down beside him, sits on the floor and lays his daughter on her lap, across her billowing skirt.

He looks at his daughter, finally, and his hand reaches for Mrs. Lovett’s. Grabs it so tight it starts to tingle. And gives them both a pained smile. She’ll burn it into her memory.

He says nothing and after several minutes, pulls his hand from hers as they sit on that floor, all together for hours. Mrs. Lovett avoids looking at Lucy, she doesn’t have a right to capture that image for eternity, she saw enough earlier. It isn’t until the child wakes again, hungry that she starts to stand.

She tries to coax him downstairs for a meal. The thick summer air causing the windows of his bedroom to steam and it’s only a matter of time before someone comes to collect the body, but he refuses to leave her.

“She needs to eat.”

“So feed her.” he groans back.

She leaves without another word. If he wishes to disregard the life of his daughter for that of his dead wife then she’d be better equipped to spearhead her survival.

She nestles her close that night, feels maternal for once, a feeling she always thought would accompany warmth on the opposite side of her bed, but such is not the case tonight.

The daylight has gone as her eyes flutter open several minutes after shutting them to the sound of a commotion upstairs. They’ve come to get Lucy.

When the whole ordeal is over he still doesn’t come for his daughter. Not even a day old and she’s really only known the touch of a stranger.

Several days pass, she has no idea how he’s faring upstairs but she allows him his grief.

She cares for the baby, who still has no name, no mother, and by his own choice, no father.

Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or growing resentment leads that prompts it but she’s reached her limit.

When the little girl becomes colicky and wails endlessly Mrs. Lovett can take no more. With the babe in her arms she ascends the stairs to find him seated in his barbers chair, a horrid smell assaults her upon entry, and from behind she can see a light beard grown over his jaw.

“I understand the grief you must be feelin’ Mr. Barker but your daughter needs her father. Yer the only parent she has.”

When he doesn’t acknowledge her she steps closer, louder, “Benjamin are you listening to me.”

“You’re doing a fine job.” But it’s not a compliment, it’s laced in anger.

“I’m the only one who has cared enough to make sure she lives. Don’t cha think Lucy would want you to as well.”

“You speak like you knew her. I knew her, I loved her.”

“I didn’t need to know Lucy to know a mother would want her child to live.”

He turns his chair toward her and she immediately sees the torn look on his face. Conflicted by grief and joy and the albatross known as Mrs. Lovett weaving them together.

“Thank you for caring for her.”

She’s not sure he means it but the sad smile that ghosts across her lips doesn’t care, he needs reassurance.

“Come now, ya both could use a bath and a warm meal.”

She reaches out and puts her hand on his shoulder to urge him forward and while he tenses he doesn’t recoil.

———-

She feeds them both, him with his head down in he’s from his bowl and her guzzling away on a cloth. He seems slightly curious about the system she’s rigged,

“What is this?”

“Her dinner.”

He quirks an eyebrow, “this is how you’ve fed her?”

“Have a better idea?”

“Well you know… can’t you…”

“Breastfeed her, are you serious?” And she scoff at him, “Men know nothing.”

She rolls her eyes before continuing her lesson, “I don’t think simply wishing makes it happen. You gotta have a baby to feed a baby Mr. Barker.”

“Oh.” And she can hear it. She’s taken away a little more of the light he had finally recaptured.

She knows it’s not so but she attempts to humor him.

“Who knows though, maybe there’s a way, I can quietly ask ‘round.”

He just nods. Nothing.

After baths are drawn she retires to her room with the baby.

“Come along” she tells him but he’s reluctant to follow.

“Oh now dear this is hardly the time for seduction. Come I’ll show you how to put her down.”

She lays her on the bed, it’ll do till they can move the bassinet downstairs. She’s completely given up the idea of moving the child back upstairs. Best to keep her as far removed from that room as possible.

She sits on the edge of the bed and rubs the child’s chest in soft circles. He sits on the other side and watches intently. Imagining she’s an entirely different person she’s sure.

It’s the first moment she sees him truly look at his daughter. His eyes well up with love and tenderness for a change. He loves his little girl in this moment and by association she hopes he loves her too. She always hopes he loves her, just a little bit.

“What will ya call her?”

“Johanna.” He says softly.

“Pretty little Johanna. I think it suits her.”

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thisisyourprincipalspeaking · 5 months ago

Note

It seems to be with re to this relationship it’s either;

Pr with a fake marriage

or always real with a marriage

and the one I think it is is started PR turned ‘real’ with marriage.

If it’s PR with a fake marriage they have failed miserably. She is not known, is not getting promoted, they are not getting papped every other day,she is not getting work. He has work but then he’s an HW actor will always get some kind of work. Big question to me if it’s PR why going ahead with a fake marriage, an engagement I could see and then you get a quiet breakup after a few months. I don’t believe for an insist he signed another contract because of the strike. Why because he was afraid? We have not idea what projects he was in discussion with at the time. Honey Don’t I think his name was attached to round Nov, the Materialists not idea when talks for that started. Some discussions can take months they just don’t happen overnight. His movie in September yes is CAA funded so of course they will use their own talent. I think the he resigned because of the strike is to cover the narrative the break up was coming in June. The rumors of the strike were round the start of the year so it wasn’t a sudden thing.

I believe in the started as PR but for whatever reason became a real thing. Maybe he settled decided we get along, have similar interests who knows. While some blogs scream it’s PR and here’s the proof but it’s all trust me bro. To me there is more solid proof weddings took place - the follows of wedding planner,photographers,the friends and family in MASS and then PT round the weddings (we have pictures to proof this) him saying he’s married,her mentioning husband,others talking about attending the wedding. The immigration talk goes round in circles, no one knows her status, best guess she’s on a work permit which allows travel for ‘work’ like other foreign actors and travel after marriage to an American. Marriage certificate I have seen many time people saying it’s not so easy to get and PT wedding and the high chance it’s officially lodged there is mainly ignored.

Now why he looks the way he does at times I don’t know but when for 2 yrs you, your family, friends, wife and all her family/friends have been stalked, harassed,abused, body shamed, called name and the most horrible things and it’s got worst I would look pissed off in public. Yeah maybe he should just own and say I don’t give a f but knowing every time you go out a small corner of the internet is analyzing your every move,look,calling you a drug addict etc it must play on your mental health.

Yes he’s losing fans but it’s like that with a lot of fandoms fans come and go it’s a natural progression. I have checked of actors with way higher IG follows and it’s so obvious they buy bots. One I saw lost 55,000 follows one day and the next gained 57,000.

The only thing that is certain is we will never have the full picture of the relationship and frankly it’s none of our business.

You either accept they are married for real or fake and move on or stay and enjoy his work as an actor and not get involved in his personal life🤷🏼‍♀️

thank you for sharing your thoughts with us so respectfully!

i think you have a good number of people who agree with you and i will say the most important thing i think you shared was toward the end where you made the exceptional point that we will likely never know the full story.

while you are correct in saying that it is not our business, i will counter that slightly by saying that if they (the married couple) want it to not be our business, then they should act like it. not all publications can be stopped but it has been obvious over the past year that the happy couple is more than willing to share their lives. they just want to be able to control what and how we see it.

i very much agree that at this point, fans need to accept their relationship as it has been told to us until there is solid confirmation of anything different. we'll all be much better off if we move on or continue to enjoy the man's work.

#anon asks #chris evans #fandom drama #chris evans fandom #chris evans shitshow #this is your principal speaking

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 1 year ago

Text

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 7

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut and Angst Warning - Minors DNI New as of 7/24/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “I just keep myself busy. Otherwise, I wallow in depression."

It was close to six when I arrived back at the hotel. I was starting to feel anxious. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would he feel differently now that he’s had the day to think about last night and this morning? I was starting to get lost in my head as I walked through the main entrance. I had planned to wait in the restaurant, as usual, since he mentioned dinner. However, there were no tables open, and the bar was a little too crowded for my liking. I decided to head back to the suite and finish up my preliminary report. When I got in, I kicked my shoes off and crawled into the middle of the bed, propping myself up on the headboard. I got my laptop situated and turned the tv on for some background noise.

Around six forty-five I heard a quiet knock on the door beside me as Dieter stuck his head in. He smiled when he saw me.

“There you are. I figured you would be downstairs. I got a little worried you were standing me up.”

He laughed nervously. I gave him a mock look of horror.

“No way! It was just too crowded when I came in. There wasn’t a table open. Was it still bad?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Let’s just grab some room service and hang out here. Maybe we can watch a movie or something?”

“I’m actually down for that. What would you like to eat? I’ll order.”

“Surprise me.”

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

He walked into the other room to scan the QR code with his phone for online ordering, then walked back in and flopped down on the bed with his legs hanging off the side. He leaned back and laid his head on my legs and absentmindedly reached up feeling along the hem of my skirt with his free hand. His finger was rubbing over the stitching. I watched him as he scrolled, occasionally reaching with his free hand to tap the screen, then putting it back down to feel along the hem. His familiarity and comfort helped me relax after having my earlier thoughts of doubt.

After a few minutes, he realized I was watching him with a smirk on my face.

“I’m sorry, am I distracting you from your work? I can…”

“No. You’re good. Carry on.”

He raised his eyebrow from behind his glasses. I laughed and went back to typing. After a few minutes, he started playing a game on his phone. Clearly getting annoyed when he made a mistake. It was adorable to watch his face scrunch up in frustration. Sometime later, we heard a faint knock on the outer door to his suite. He paused his game and hopped up.

“That must be the food.”

“I’ll be in shortly, I’m almost finished.”

He nodded and walked through the adjoining door.

I finished the final paragraph on the report and gave it a quick read through. I made sure I hit save, multiple times, then sent a quick email to Megan asking her to make copies for the meeting. It felt good to have this one done. Now I could relax and have zero things to worry about this evening. Not that any of it had crossed my mind last night.

I got up and put my laptop away. Then I walked through Dieter’s room, looking around as I went. His belongings were everywhere. It didn’t surprise me. With the chaotic energy he tended to put out, he didn’t strike me as someone who was neat and organized. I laughed to myself at the thought.

I opened his bedroom door to find him sitting at the small table in the kitchenette area. He was playing a game on his phone again. I walked over to the table, and he jumped up, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me. He leaned back and reached up to touch one of the wavy pieces of hair hanging down on my face.

“I thought you said your hair didn’t look good curly. I like it like this.”

I smiled and leaned into his hand. His words stirred some sort of emotion in me that I couldn’t decipher. I inhaled sharply and turned away before it showed on my face.

“So, what are we eating?”

“I got a few different things. Feel free to sample.”

“Geez this is a lot of food.” I laughed. He shrugged.

“I guess I’ll have leftovers for tomorrow.”

Our eyes met, realizing what that meant. He will be alone tomorrow. Neither of us wanted to bring that up further at the moment. I hadn’t given much thought beyond this week. I couldn’t. Not yet anyway.

We sat down to eat, each of us taking a sampling of the different meals he ordered. We both opted for water with our meal. The thought of not having liquid courage this evening made me anxious, but I needed to lay off the alcohol some.

He told me about his day. All the meetings he had to plan for the movie role he was offered. He said it would take up to five months to film and several overseas locations were planned. He was really excited about it.

I felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of him being in another country for such a long time. No wonder he wasn’t dating anyone.

“Do you ever get lonely or homesick while you’re gone for that long?”

“Yeah, sometimes. It can be rough, but I have a team I travel with that I’m pretty close to. I fly back for quick visits with my family when I get a chance and we talk a lot. Sometimes they visit me depending on where I am. I make it work. It can be hard on your mental health though. Not gonna lie.”

“I don’t know how you do it. I’m not sure I would survive that type of living.”

“I just keep myself busy. Otherwise, I wallow in depression.”

He knitted his brows together as his eyes stared off in the distance at nothing. His thoughts appeared to take him to a dark place for a moment. It was brief, but I noticed it. Then he shrugged and moved to change the subject.

“How about you, how was your day?”

“Really good actually. I’ve definitely got the guy. Well, it’s mostly circumstantial at this point, but I have a plan. Carrington is totally on board with it.”

I smiled, pleased with myself.

“So, he has managed to sail through because of their current setup. The fact that I caught it is just crazy because it’s really a perfect situation for him to rip the company off. Anyway, I’ve set up a camera on the entrance to the room that houses their mainframe. I think he is accessing it directly, but there are no security cameras on that door.”

Dieter mouthed “what the fuck” and threw his hands up at the ridiculousness of it.

“I know…” I said, shaking my head in agreement.

“Anyway, so he’s going in to alter and remove records so there are no signs of the changes anywhere. He is also changing it on the backups. I think he was even smart enough to somehow get a copy of a key made so it isn’t registering on the ID card scans that he entered the room. He was accessing it during scheduled job times so as not to raise any red flags. He messed up though. On two instances he logged on 33 and 63 seconds too early. I talked to Carrington today and he’s agreed to let me install, what is basically spyware, on the station that accesses the mainframe. Anytime anyone gets onto it, it’ll do a screen recording and track key entries, then send that information directly to me.”

He had a look of shock on his face.

“That’s like some spy shit. Maybe they need to make a movie about you.”

He laughed at me as I rolled my eyes.

“I think I’ll pass…. Anyway, my thinking is that it should catch him in the act. We’ll have proof he’s the one in the room during times the changes are made, and we’ll be able to see exactly what he’s doing.”

“I’m not gonna lie. I’m impressed. You literally blow my mind every time you tell me about your work.”

I smiled at his compliment.

“The fun part is, I have a meeting with all of them tomorrow to go over my preliminary report.”

He froze. Shock on his face.

“So, what are you gonna say?”

“Well, I’m going to tell them about all the upgrades they need in IT and changes they need to make for payment processing and suggest some staffing reorganization to help things run better. I’m also going to tell them I found no evidence of security breaches or data loss issues.”

“And you can do that with a straight face? Not give anything away?”

He seemed skeptical.

“I one hundred percent will. So good in fact, Jay will feel pretty damn pleased with himself at not getting caught while also panicking about the impending changes that are going to rock his world.”

I said that with a pretty fierce look on my face to drive my point as I took a drink of water.

Dieter’s eyes got kind of big as he saw the change in my demeanor.

“Point taken. Pretty fucking scary indeed. Now I get it.”

He shook his head as he leaned back in his seat, laughing. I started laughing too.

I loved that he seemed genuinely interested in my day and my work. Giving me praise rather than scrutinizing every shared detail and chastising me for the way I handled things. That was after all what I was used to getting instead.

After we finished eating, we decided to change into our pajamas and crawl into bed to watch a movie.

I changed into a racerback tank sleep shirt. It came down a little past mid-thigh, but I felt like I was showing a lot of skin. I decided I didn’t care. I kept the panties but lost the bra. It got Dieter’s attention when I walked into the kitchenette area while he was making popcorn. He was trying to not be obvious, but he was definitely checking me out. He had changed into his shorts and t-shirt combo.

I grabbed a couple bottles of water, and we made our way into my bedroom. He set the popcorn on the nightstand, pulled the covers back, and jumped up to the middle of the bed. Propping himself up with pillows against the headboard. I set the waters down and he spread out his legs, motioning for me to come sit between them. I climbed up, settling in with my back to his chest as he covered us up.

We decided to watch an old school zombie movie I had seen several times before. I think he was hoping I would get scared, but that wasn’t the case. It led to an ongoing discussion throughout the movie about the use of practical effects versus CGI. We sounded like a bunch of cinema nerds, but we were having fun with it.

Toward the middle of the movie, he scooted his left foot back, bringing his knee toward his chest. I had laid my arm across his thigh and kept rubbing circles on the backside of it. Sometimes dipping lower and towards the inner side. He was trying to act like he was ignoring it, but he kept shifting under me. I knew it was driving him crazy.

He wasn’t much better. He kept rubbing my arms. Occasionally giving my shoulder a squeeze before lightly rubbing along my neck and collarbone. We basically spent the entirety of the movie teasing each other while pretending we weren’t. However, I’m sure he could feel my pulse quicken as he grazed his fingers across my neck.

At some point within the last 10 minutes of the movie, he finally caved. He leaned down and started kissing my neck, snaking his arms under mine. Pulling me closer. I turned my head to kiss him as I grabbed his right hand and guided it down under the blanket and between my thighs. He wasted no time getting to work as I writhed on top of him. It didn’t take long before I was rocked with an orgasm. I laid there for a moment catching my breath, while rubbing and massaging at his thighs. He continued to massage my shoulders while kissing and nipping at my neck.

After a few minutes, I lifted my hips to slide my panties the rest way down my legs. Then I got up on my knees, turned, and straddled him. He looked a little surprised at my boldness but didn’t hesitate. While I stood on my knees, he too lifted his hips to slide his shorts down. I reached behind me to help him, and he eventually kicked them off. We both laughed at his minor struggle.

He sat up straighter, wrapping his arms around me and kissing down my neck. I reached down and tugged his shirt over his head. A few quick kisses, then my nightshirt came off and landed near his on the floor. He grabbed my hips as I lifted myself to line his length up at my entrance. I slowly lowered onto him.

This time felt different. It was soft and sensual. It was a physical and emotional connection that I had never experienced. There were a lot of light touches, caresses, and kissing. Our eyes locked together throughout when our tongues were not dancing with one another. I increased the pace of my movements as I felt my release building. I sensed Dieter was close too. The intense pleasure hit me as I arched my back, throwing my head backwards. He rubbed his nose up my neck, nipping at my chin before he buried his face, following behind me as he came immediately after.

We both sat trembling in each other's embrace with shallow breaths. Placing light kisses as we pressed our foreheads together. I lightly rubbed the nape of his neck with my fingertips as his hands roamed up and down my back. We sat there for several minutes, unmoving.

I eventually leaned back some, looking him in the eye as I pushed his sweaty hair back off his face. My hand came to rest on his cheek. He reached up to touch my hand, slowly entwining his fingers with mine, kissing them before pulling both of our hands to rest on his chest. I could faintly feel his racing heartbeat against the back of my fingers.

“Your mind is quiet,” I said in a low voice. It was a statement, not a question.

He smiled as he smoothed my hair back.

“For once, yes, it is. It’s nice to be here in the moment.”

He searched my eyes in return.

“Yours is quiet too.”

I smiled, shaking my head in agreement. We studied each other’s faces and an understanding seemed to pass between us. This wasn’t normal for either of us. The intensity of it actually scared me. I felt my brows draw down together. I pulled him into a tight hug before my face could betray my emotions. He buried his face into my neck as I continued to run my fingers through his hair.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, but it was a while. He eventually raised his head up, giving me an intense look with glassy eyes. He started tangling my hair between his fingers against my back, his eyes roaming my face intently. Like he was trying to decipher his emotions. He looked almost pained. My chest tightened as a lump formed in my throat. I took a deep controlled breath because I could feel the sting forming in my eyes. We both had anxiety rolling off us in waves. We were two incredibly broken people letting our vulnerability show.

He put his hand on my face and pulled me to him, kissing me deeply. As I moved on him, with my arms wrapped around his shoulders, I could feel his hardness returning. It didn’t take long before he was inside me again and we were moving together. This time with an all-consuming frantic need with tight embraces and fingers digging deep into each other's flesh. It was like we couldn’t get close enough.

We eventually fell into a heap on the bed after a rather intense finish for both of us. Both breathing rapidly and covered in sweat. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. Once we recovered, we untangled ourselves, laying on our sides facing each other. Taking in the moment and memorizing every detail.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“I have my final meeting at eight, then I’ll go to the airport immediately after.”

No more words were spoken. He reached over and pulled me closer. I nuzzled my face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and sunk his face into my hair. I laid there wondering how this was going to go in the morning. I didn’t know how I wanted it to go, and I felt so confused. I’m not sure how long it took either of us to fall asleep, but we eventually did.

The 5AM alarm came early. He turned it off on his watch, then we both laid there, unmoving, not speaking for at least ten minutes. He eventually pulled his head back to look down at me while pulling my hair off my face.

“Are you awake?”

“Yes.”

I lolled my head back to look up at him. His hair was all over the place. I chucked quietly as I eyed it.

“You look like you stuck your finger in a light socket.”

“I have a feeling you’re not fairing much better. I think we both need a shower.”

He smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. Then he got up and walked toward the bathroom.

“Can you bring me my brush off the sink? I need to get these knots out before it gets wet or else, I may have regrets.”

“We definitely can’t have that,” he said with a chuckle.

I admired his back side as he continued toward the bathroom, shortly returning with my brush. I stretched and groaned loudly.

“You ok?”

“My legs are protesting. Apparently, I worked muscles I haven’t used in a while.”

I smiled at him as I sat up and started to brush my hair. It was a struggle. Between the sweat, his hands, and sleeping on it, it had turned it into a huge knot. He came over and took the brush from me while he continued to laugh at my struggles. He sat behind me with one leg up on the bed and began to brush through small sections methodically. It was a sweet gesture and it felt amazing. It seemed oddly intimate too.

He announced he was finished, and I laid back against his chest and closed my eyes while he wrapped his arms around me. I loved the way his arms felt. I felt safe with him, I realized. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then reminded me about the shower.

We showered together again. Attentively washing and rinsing in between the caresses and kissing. Nothing more than that though. The air felt heavy around us as that impending doom feeling began to bubble to the surface.

Dieter had to leave pretty early for a meeting. Once we dried each other off, he had to rush off to his room to get dressed.

He came back to tell me bye as I was putting on my makeup. He hugged me for a minute before giving me a long, needy kiss.

“Can I see you again when I get back to LA?”

He searched my face. It was unreadable, I was going into my autopilot dissociative state to keep my emotions in check. It was the only way to get through this. I nodded and gave him a half smile. He looked… hopeful? He dropped his hands to his pockets.

“Shit, I don’t know where my phone is. Where’s yours?”

I walked into my bedroom and picked it up off the dresser. Unlocking it and handing it to him. He quickly typed in his contact info and handed it back to me.

“Text me when you get home, ok? I may not be able to answer right away, but I will as soon as I can.”

He pulled me to him for another kiss. He was starting to get keyed up, I could tell. I heard his watch vibrate and he pulled away to look at it.

“Fuck, my car is here. I’m running late.”

He kissed me again quickly.

“I mean it, text me. We can talk later tonight,” he said as he ran over to his room.

I could hear his phone pinging from his watch off in the distance somewhere. He must have found it because I heard the main door shut a few minutes later.

Once I was sure he was gone, I sat down on the bed and nearly lost it. I was on the verge of a panic attack. There was no way I could do this. I wasn’t ready for whatever that was. It was too intense and too much. It took several minutes, but I finally pulled myself together. I couldn’t fall apart right now. I had a job to do.

I hurried to finish getting ready and to pack up all my things. I rushed down to meet Joe, ten minutes late. Luckily, we had extra time built in for our commute. I got there with a few minutes to spare before our final meeting. I stopped in the bathroom to take a minute and pull myself together. I felt nauseous and hot. I could feel my heart racing and my head spinning. Between this meeting and leaving Dieter, I was a wreck.

I rushed into the conference room, everyone there, except for Mr. Carrington. I greeted everyone as I pulled out my laptop to open my preliminary report and key talking points. Willing myself to appear calm and collected. Megan came in to distribute paper copies of the report while we waited.

Jay tried to appear casual as he flipped through the report. I knew what he was looking for. Indications that he had been caught. Seeing none, he relaxed back into his chair.

Several minutes later Mr. Carrington entered. His face gave nothing away. There was no indication from either of us that anything was going on outside of what we were about to discuss.

I took a few deep breaths, forcing myself to push Dieter out of my mind and focus. Outwardly, I was stoic and completely void of emotion. On the inside, I really just wanted to curl up in a dark room and cry. I could feel the panic rising. I reached down under the table and gave my thigh a squeeze to try and revert my focus and ground myself. Then I started to feel the cool leather along the seat of the chair. Trying everything I could to not panic.

Mr. Carrington started the meeting by greeting everyone and thanking them for coming. Then he turned it over to me.

I took another controlled breath before I started. I went through the report covering the needed changes for the mainframe. Heavily enforcing that tiered access would be needed and no one staff member should have access to all backups. Again, enforcing the need to beef up physical and digital security.

Jay chimed in, “With all these mentions of security problems, is that indication of a breach?”

“It’s the opposite in fact. I couldn’t find any sources of a breach and all data and backups seem to be intact. Honestly, you guys got pretty lucky on that.”

A sly smile spread across his face as he nodded and leaned back in his seat. Then I moved into financial processing. The moment I recommended switching to a third-party vendor for payment processing, Jay had to jump in.

“Can you explain why that is recommended over handling all of that in house? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, there are several reasons for that. It helps cut back the liability for whoever handles the money if there’s a problem. It can be tracked properly and provides tiered access to multiple users without sharing the account details. So, for instance, your assistant could be more involved with the payment processing because she will have controlled access. You don’t have to worry about security clearance because she will only see what she has been given permission to see. I’m sure that will free up a lot of your time. I know it would probably be nice to not have all the late work nights for once.”

I smiled at him. He didn’t know how to take that. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the hint of a smirk on Carrington’s face.

I proceeded to go over a 12-month transition plan for their IT upgrades and also laid out a few changes to maximize the use of their staff.

Jay seemed uneasy for the rest of the meeting. He knew things were about to change for him, what he didn’t realize is how.

Once the meeting concluded. Everyone thanked me. Carrington walked down the hall with me as I was leaving, Jay following behind. Carrington shook my hand as we were waiting for the elevator.

“I’m sure we’ll chat soon once you have your final report completed.”

He gave me a pointed look with a smirk.

“Of course, I’ll set something up as soon as I have everything ready.”

The elevator door dinged, indicating it was going down. I said a final goodbye then got on to head downstairs. Joe met me out front and asked if I needed anything before heading to the airport. I didn’t. I just wanted to hurry and get there. I wanted the flight over with. I had managed to keep it together thus far and wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on.

When it was time, I boarded the plane and immediately asked for alcohol. I felt sick and my head was still spinning. I needed to calm down. After finishing off the first round, I pulled my phone out. I went to the contacts and pulled up Dieter’s information. After staring at it for what was probably a good five minutes, I hit delete.

Next Chapter

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