#She refused to take a car

[nadiajustbe]

@apenapaperandadoofus OKAY BUT THIS. THIS IS GENIUS. The idea of Howl complaining about education system of "his lands" on a date with the Witch is something else.

Howl, while holding a glass of wine, dramatically: You know, once that teacher gave me an "A" instead of "A++" and I did even try a little bit on this one!! This system is dying from inside, I'm absolutely telling you! Atrocious!

Witch of The Waste, understanding absolutely nothing but having to play along because she wants his head loves him: Oh, really?

And then he starts to quote Shakespeare, knowing that she does not know where it comes from and it just sound cool™. And maybe some other literature stuff, because he learnt that too. And then maybe some fairy tale references because he's in a Fairy Tale Land. And some quotes from Star Wars or Star Track or insert any popular 70s-80s TV show cause it sounded sick.

But mostly Shakespeare, yes.

And then when WoTW has to insert her Fire Demon as an English teacher she's like. Wait a minute. I know something about English literature. That quotes definitely wasn't something he made out himself. It's Howl we're taking about, he's not gonna bother with that type of things. He vaguely mentioned it as Shaking Peers or something like this. Yeah, I absolutely know what to do. This is the most well-planed idea ever.

What can possibly go wrong?

There's something incredibly strange and funny about the FIRE DEMON from Ingary who somehow managed to work at some random Welsh school for at least a couple of weeks, maybe even longer and not get caught.

Like, did WoTW just lecture ms. Angorian about stuff like printers, photocopies or, well, the whole English Literature program she was supposed to teach for a good amount of time? Or was it just a kind of scripted info for the new form the demon was taking?

And — most importantly — how did WoTW (who, again, lives in Ingary with little to no connection to our world at all) get all this info about Welsh education in a matter of days?

Wikipedia page informs me that she kidnapped Suliman to ask him about it and she did, in fact, asked Sophie about Wales as well. But I cannot believe any of this guys can tell her enough to make a whole fire demon an English teacher, unless Ben was one himself and did willingly tell her the school curriculum — wich is no less hilarious of a concept.

And If she didn't, how couldn't anyone, kids or other schools staff, notice she has no clue about any English literature besides John Dohn and one (1) poem.

I have so many questions.

[geosaurus]

back-seat forensics

[ineed-to-sleep]

It honestly baffles me that some people are so casually dismissive of animals' feelings. Istg some ppl only see pets like toys and are barely able to hide it

[softquietsteadylove]

hello birdie 🖤✨

If you still take requests: I just saw a new Instagram post from Don Lee with an Hello Kitty umbrella.

So can I ask for some cute Gilgamesh? Maybe with mentioned umbrella.

🖤✨ Hugs and Love ✨🖤

Gil let out a satisfied 'ah!' as he finished his ramyun. He didn't miss Korea when he wasn't here, and he didn't look forward to visiting when they did. But he had to admit that convenience stores back home just couldn't compare to the ones here.

He didn't have to be biding time in a random convenience store. He was still someone of business here. He could have been at a bar, at a restaurant, enjoying a reserved booth at the races. But in truth, he didn't want anything to do with the business here. He didn't want to be associated with his family name.

And he was on vacation.

Thena and Imo were at some spa, enjoying some ladies bonding time. He was happy to leave them to it. He had strolled through some markets, watched tv from the window of a shop like the cranky old men in the neighbourhood. And when it started raining, he came in here.

There were magazines and comics to read, snacks, and eventually he had sat down with a whole cup of noodles--even melted some cheese on it. Thena had limited his home stash of it out of fear for his sodium levels. Men here wouldn't believe it--that a man of business was letting someone control what he ate.

But he liked that his wife wanted him to be in healthy condition.

Gil looked out the window again. It still wasn't letting up. Thena had said she would call him when she and Imo were leaving the place and on their way to pick him up. And it had only been an hour--for all he knew, that kind of thing could take two or three.

"Please!"

Gil turned and looked with wide eyes. The outburst was noticeable in the small store with no one else inside. It was the middle of the day; what was such a tiny voice doing alone?

The cashier shook his head, though. "It's not enough."

There was a little girl standing in front of the counter. She had an umbrella tucked into her elbow, counting out every won she had. "But it's all I have."

Gil got up from the counter, tossing his ramen cup in the trash and straightening his suit jacket. The cashier saw him coming from a mile away and braced himself. He obviously still looked like he was in the business, even with his tattoos as covered as possible. He pointed, "come on, man, isn't it close enough?"

The cashier shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir, it's not nearly enough for the umbrella."

Gil leaned over and peeked. He was right, she had barely enough for a musubi and some candy. He looked down at the kid, who looked up at him without an ounce of fear in her eyes. "Is this the one you want?"

She paused for a second, considering what she should tell him. Ultimately, she pointed to the stand with other umbrellas, for kids and adults. "I want that one."

"Which one? Show me," Gil nodded. The kid had no fear of him, though, waddling back to the stand with her current pick. She put that plain pink one back and reached for a hello kitty one.

"This one," she declared, waving it around. It was a little big for her, at her age. Or maybe she was just small, even for a child.

"Yeah?" Gil mumbled. He reached to look at the price of it. He looked down at the kid. "Pretty expensive."

Her little cheeks puffed up indignantly. "But eonni promised if I did her housework while she went out with her friends that she would give me the money for it."

"She did, did she?" Gil chuckled. The girl's sister was a scammer, plain and simple. She'd given her innocent kid sister a few bucks to shut her up and keep her dirty secrets. He pulled the umbrella out of the kid's grasp.

"Hey!"

"Oi, listen," he directed in his best stern Ajushi voice. "First: you're never gonna do anything for your sister again--I don't care what she promises."

"But she has to go shopping every-"

"Ah!" he cut the little girl off. Still, she showed no fear of him. Some annoyance, for sure, but no nerves. He crouched down, pointing his finger in her face. "She doesn't have to do any of that shit. She's lying."

The little girl gasped, hand to her mouth and everything. Probably at both his language and the revelation about her sister.

"No doing anything for her, unless you get the goods, got it?" he smirked. "That means she takes you there and she buys you the thing you want herself. Puts it in your hands, got it?"

The girl let him press the umbrella into both her hands, even shaking her into a little laughter. She nodded sharply, "yes!"

"Second: tell her that just because you have this now, doesn't mean her secrets are safe," Gil continued to advise as he reached into his jacket to pull out his wallet. He never carried cash around at home, but the kid was in luck. "You have what's called leverage: that means you have the advantage. If anything, she should be doing stuff for you."

The cashier watched the exchange nervously. He had his confirmation that Gil wasn't just some well meaning - well dressed - man enjoying a snack.

"And thirdly," Gilgamesh stood but leaned down to hand the kid the money, "tell him you want a receipt."

The girl took his instruction deeply seriously. She stood on her toes to hand the cashier the money (in a denomination she had never seen before). "I'd like a receipt, please."

The cashier nodded, hands shaking as he accepted the bill. He looked at Gilgamesh, silently pleading for help.

Gil narrowed his eyes at the guy. "Give her the change, man."

The girl held out her little hands, accepting the remaining money with starry eyes. "It's so much."

"Keep it," Gil excused easily as he took the umbrella and unwrapped it. "And don't tell your sister--or your parents. That's just for you."

"Thanks Mister!"

"Yeah, yeah," he held his hand to guide the girl out as she shoved the money into the little hello kitty coin purse she had. The automatic doors slid open and he looked back at the cashier, "just take care of her next time she's in here."

The cashier nodded, pale as a ghost.

Gil opened the umbrella over them both. "You like this cat, huh?"

"She's my favourite!"

Gil chuckled. Kids had it so easy. But he liked the idea that the hardest thing in this kid's life was an annoying older sister. He focused on holding the umbrella over his short companion, letting his left side get thoroughly rained on. "You in school?"

"Yeah."

"You good?"

"Hm," the little girl twisted her mouth.

"Yeah, me too," Gil laughed. The girl seemed relieved she wouldn't get a scolding for not being studious. "I wasn't good at math, or science."

She nodded, wide eyed that someone else shared her weakness.

"But that's okay," he shrugged down at her. "Just make a friend who's good at those things who can help you."

"A friend?"

What, did this kid not have friends? Maybe she was too nice and always letting others walk all over her. Gil bent slightly and smiled. "I've got a friend who's super good at math, and science. We work together, and she does way better than I do."

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed. "We're a great team. And wanna know something?"

The girl nodded, making her pigtails move.

Gil grinned from ear to ear, "she's my wife, now."

"Really?" the kid gasped, her eyes going starry again.

Gil crouched down again, pulling out his phone. "She looks like a princess and everything."

The kid leaned over his phone, her mouth wide open. "She's so pretty!"

"She sure is," Gil huffed with pride in his chest. "She's the prettiest in the whole world. She's coming to pick me up."

"Don't you have your own car?"

What a rude question--he loved it. He stood again, groaning as his knees cracked. "We're here visiting my family. I have a car back home where we live together."

"Ah," the girl nodded, although he kind of felt like she didn't believe him. "Eonni!"

Gil looked up. Indeed, a persnickety looking teenager was walking over to them. He had no intention of beefing with another, only slightly older kid, but he didn't exactly smile at her.

"What are you doing talking to creepy old men?!" her sister barked at her from a distance.

"He's a nice ajushi," the girl defended from her position next to him. "He got me the umbrella. You told me it was enough but it wasn't!"

Actually, the sister had definitely sent this kid - without umbrella - in the rain to the store just to get her own umbrella, knowing she had set her up for failure? Man, business was business but that was low.

"Whatever, let's go," the teenager waved to hurry her.

Gil gave the teen another look before bending down and putting the umbrella in the kid's hand. "Remember everything I told you."

"Yes, sir!" she gave him her most respectful bow before tottering over to her sister, who immediately turned around and started heading home now that her attache was acquired.

Gil shook his head. He hoped the kid enjoyed her hundreds and kept them to herself. And if her parents did find out they wouldn't believe her anyway. Or rather, if they did, he wasn't going to be around for them to complain about it.

He pulled out his phone again. He hadn't needed to pull up a picture--Thena was already his background. She was in a pretty dress with fur around her shoulders and red lipstick. She said the colour was champagne or something like that; he had boldly claimed that only she could be beautiful enough to call plain old 'beige' champagne and make it look good.

They had been in Russia for an event, although he was pretty sure she had sneakily introduced him to some associates - maybe even family - of hers. He was trying to learn, but the Russian alphabet was really kicking his ass.

"You're good with kids."

He slipped his phone away with a grin. "You think so?"

Thena walked towards him, her own umbrella in hand, faintly white, casting an angelic glow down on her hair.

Gil received her, kissing her cheek and putting his hand at her back. "You look all sparkly."

"You think so?" she laughed, although she lavished in his affection as opposed to pulling away. She had missed him too. "Imo told me I had to try all these skin treatments they had. I'm starting to think I"m aging poorly."

"You're stunning," he pressed his lips to her cheek again. She felt all smooth and cool to the touch, too. "In fact, I told a little girl I was married to a princess. She seemed pretty starstruck."

"Lying to the youth," Thena shook her head at him with a grin. "Although the umbrella did suit you."

"I know it did." He liked things that contrasted his looks. It emphasized just how cool and tough he really was.

"Come on," she tugged at his blazer, avoiding the side of it that was now wet. "Let's get you home. You know Imo will scold you for this."

He sighed, following Thena under her umbrella to the car service. "What doesn't she scold me for? She'll probably tell me I should have gone to the spa just so I could hold your towel for you."

"She would not."

She would so. But Gil put his hand on Thena's waist. "I'm glad you had a good time."

"Hey."

Gil leaned in by reflex, pressing his lips to hers. He felt pretty neutral about Korea, he liked seeing Imo, and he liked visiting his mom. He hated having to do business with his dad. And the convenience stores were okay. And maybe he liked getting called Ajushi by a nice kid in a convenience store.

Thena pulled away, putting her fingers on his chin. She got that cat eyed look as she stared straight into his soul. "Hm."

"What?" This wouldn't be good.

"You had ramen--I can taste it on you."

[ragingbullmode]

thinking about this damn text convo with my mom today still has me wanting to punch walls like 🗿

[treasureguardingdragon]

i slayed my first driving lesson. should have started them ages ago but it seems with age comes wisdom because i didn’t stall once 😍😍TAKE THAT SEVENTEEN YEAR OLDS WHO CAN DRIVE BEFORE ME

[lockedtowers]

cassie showing up in the human world and just ‘befriending’/breaking into smthn a human is at and never rly leaving truly is peak cat behavior of her

[pyreflydust]

idk why that mouse didn't want these peanuts, they're pretty good

[cuntwrap--supreme]

I don't think my pothead neighbor actually knows how to smoke weed. He's out on his porch with a blunt and is straight up hacking his lungs up. He sounds like he's severely ill. But nope. This is just the morning routine. Wake up and inhale that pot smoke in, apparently, the most painful way, tears in his eyes, SoundCloud rap in his (and everyone else's because goddamn does this guy not understand he lives in an apartment) ears, hope in his heart. Or something.

[flatoatchi]

my mom is so funny she'll be like "the first time you kiss someone it's gonna be bad. and the sex is gonna hurt real bad too" and then she'll call all my belongings and hobbies existing in her view an inconvenience because i asked if she could pull just a bit further into the driveway so my girlfriend can actually park here

[apricotluvr]

March / Ramadan 2024 💖

[delphiniumarchangelmoon]

Some pictures of my scrimblus for your viewing pleasure

[deadm0ss]

there will be moms who's fav activity is waking up in a rage walking to the kitchen and screaming at you for it being dirty (fair ig) and then not letting you leave the kitchen till they do to keep your in their sights so you stay cleaning (not fair you're literally giving me tasks that i need to leave the room to complete, not letting me leave the room and then getting mad when i don't complete them) and then they go back 2 sleep like nothing happened and will pretend this didnt happen and scream again if u even suggest it

[thewingedwolf]

having a group of gay friends where this is their first group of gay friends apparently means they don’t find my “our one token straight friend is like a little gay” jokes funny apparently aksjsjs or when i bitch specifically about the gay dating scene near chicago being dominated by annoying white ex theater gays, they immediately get into like “well there are messy gay poc” yeah i’m aware of that, i’m talking about a really specific issue with the gays in this area pls keep up

[cetoddle-archive]

i want die

[stairset]

One of the top reasons I need to move out of my parents' place and get my own asap is we have too many fucking cars and can't fit then all in the garage so mine always sits outside which normally isn't that big a deal but in the winter is incredibly frustrating