#She nailed absolutely everything about the acting for all three of them

[anyacad0]

I am a huge high cloud quintet enjoyer so it may surprise you to learn that I absolutely hate the quest “Clouds Leave No Trace”.

let me explain. I will admit that a lot of it stems from my issues with Jingliu as a character. I appreciate that she’s meant to be cold and detached, but what bothers me is that although she says considers herself to be a sinner alongside Yingxing and Dan Feng, she constantly acts like she’s better than them, criticising them, acting as if their choice was an easy one while hers wasn’t. Her humility feels incredibly insincere, and she becomes very difficult to empathise with as a result.

then there’s the quest itself. I split it into three parts.

one: redundant infodumping

For the first part of the quest, Jingliu, Dan Heng and Yanqing travel to different parts of the Luofu so Jingliu can bid farewell to her past home. It’s basically a plot device for her to drop some lore about Yingxing and Baiheng, which is fine on its own, but the problem is, none of the information she gives is new. All of it was stuff we could already figure out from character stories and other in-game text.

the second issue with this part of the quest is Dan Heng’s presence, or rather, lack of it. Considering he’s the main character tying the quintet subplot into the main story, you’d think he’d be important to the quest focussed on them. But he’s just… there. He says and does pretty much nothing. You could cut him from the whole quest and it wouldn’t be any different.

In fact, Dan Heng also suffers greatly from the timing of the quest. If we look at the voice lines for IL, it’s obvious that he’s a snapshot of Dan Heng shortly after this quest, since he knows Blade is the one who made Cloudpiercer. Ichor Of Two Dragons also seems to take place at the end of this quest. This is an issue because both release in version 1.3, making the quest which takes place in version 1.4 feel like a regression in his character development when actually the story was for some reason out of order.

part 2: Dan Feng gets mischaracterised to hell and back

This is the worst part of the quest by far. Jingliu does her self-righteous monologue and nails the coffin shut by giving the most biased description possible of the Sedition.

she first says that Dan Feng was trying to revive Baiheng. Dan Heng’s and Jingliu’s character stories reveal that this is probably not the case, and that his actual goal was to create another high elder,

she also says that the reason Dan Feng did what he did was selfishness and an inability to accept Baiheng’s death. She fails to mention the fact that the Xianzhou treated him like a convenient weapon instead of an actual person, that he hated how many innocent people died in the war between Aeons, that his people were going extinct because of said war, that he hated how he gave the Xianzhou the power to cause so much death, that he had probably attempted less dramatic rebellions in his past lives to no avail, that the high elder succession was incredibly screwed up and he didn’t want to have to pass that burden on to his next incarnation (granted that lasts part’s only implicit). Not to mention that she didn’t actually bear witness to any of the events she described, only the aftermath.

part 3: Blade monologue

This is the only redeeming quality of the entire quest

he acknowledges that Dan Feng and Yingxing weren’t simply upset with Baiheng’s death, but with the unfairness of everything in general

he expresses genuine regret

and the way he looks up to Jingliu after she tortured him is the only time where that story genuinely presents her as someone who’s done terrible things, showing how she managed to break Blade so badly that he feels thankful for it

in conclusion, do not play this quest if you want to actually understand Dan Feng as a character

[aloesarchives]

Father's Day Special(JJK Oneshot)

Tags/Warning: AFAB/Female Reader, Family life, Domesticity, Fluff, Unhinged Crack(Especially near the End), Mention of Balls but not Smut(I promise), JJK OC(but not main X Reader)

Word Count: 5.5k words

Pairing: Toji x Fem!Reader

Reader Pronouns/Usage: (She/Her), Mama, Mom, Doll, Baby

So I know I'm three days late for Father's Day but I couldn't help but write this out. It's been busy and absolute hell with getting ready for Uni. But by July, things will slow down and I can focus more on getting shit down and stop procrastinating. I hella miss writing, I needa get back into the grove of it.

Also, forgot to mention, this fic was based on a true event. Dramatization was an all time high but loosely based on an interaction I had with my own mom lol

“What do you think Dad wants, Megumi?”

“Honestly, I have no clue. I thought Mom was hard but it’s actually Dad.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because he never buys anything new. Even if he does, it’s either meant for the house or us. Dad still wears the same black t-shirt since we were kids. He doesn’t have expensive taste either. No cologne, no wrist watch, no shoes, nothing.”

Tsumiki and Megumi feel more empathetic to Toji than either right now. Father’s Day is tomorrow and the two are out trying to get their dad a gift. But just like Toji, they feel stuck on what to get him. With you, their mother, it’s more subtle and personalized. Tailored to your taste and personality, seems hard at first but gets easier once getting the smaller details. Is it more on the pricier side? Yes, but you are their mother and do so much for them that you deserve anything and everything good to come your way.

But Toji, he’s a different story.

Growing up, the two saw how laidback their dad was. No putting much effort into keeping appearance or staying with the latest trends. They learned early on that Toji only dresses decently, or at least looks presentable, because of you. Outfit coordination was all on you, you always picked out Toji’s outfit or had the final say on what he’s wearing. Obviously over time, he’s learned the art of dressing himself up but he always asks you for the final say.

Anyhow, clothes are out because Megumi and Tsumiki know Toji wears them until they are rags. He still wears the same basketball shorts around the house since they were babies.

They’re teenagers in high school now.

Toji’s old shirts and shorts just get converted to loungewear and home clothes. Some of them have holes but Toji seems to care less about them. Toji also has no expensive taste or an interest in creating one. He believes you pay for the quality but that’s on certain things like a wrench or drill. He never understood the whole throwing your money to look high class. Pointing out that things can stick out like a nail and look out of place. He grew up in a family with money, he knows.

Then Toji literally has everything he needs. That’s what the kids always hear.

“I have (Y/N), my kids, a nice house with space to work, food, and my equipment. The hell I need anything else when it’s all right ‘ere.”

People’s dreams and aspirations are different. Having a family is a common one many have. But Megumi and Tsumiki could clearly see the fond and tender nature their dad somehow exhibits, and it’s only exclusive to the family. They didn’t think much of it until they asked you. Upon explaining Toji's life up until meeting you, Tsumiki and Megumi finally let it sit why their dad acts the way he does.

“Your Papa…didn’t expect to have this type of life—To have a home, a wife and kids. He’d never imagine himself to get this because he didn’t think it'd happen to him, especially how he grew up. But it did and he never took it for granted since. Your Papa has treated me beyond the means of well over the years, it’s only fair I do the same for him. I’m not forcing you two to follow suit. But at the very least, try to understand your Dad and his circumstances. That’s all I ask of you two.”

With that, no wonder they’ve never met anyone from Toji’s side besides Maki and Mai. That and an explanation to your fierce protectiveness towards Toji at the mention of his “family”. So here Megumi and Tsumiki are, along with their litter sister Mayumi, concocting an idea on what to get Toji. They were going to call you but ditched the idea to not inconvenience you as you were busy yourself. Currently in Shibuya walking in one of the shopping districts, they searched high and low for anything that would make a decent Father’s Day gift.

Tsumiki threw up some ideas but Megumi shot them down because it’s not practical for their Dad.

“Megumi, at this point, we can’t get Papa anything! What do you have in mind that Papa will actually use?”

Megumi thought for a second before shrugging his shoulders.

“I’ve got nothing, Tsumiki. I’m drawing a blank here.”

Tsumiki sighs before looking around again. Meanwhile, Mayumi’s curiosity was becoming impulsive. She wanted to look at anything and everything as long as her pretty little eyes laid on it. Holding onto Megumi’s hand, she tries to keep pace with her older siblings in the busy street. However, after walking for a few minutes, Mayumi came to a stop as she stared at one of the stores. Feeling his arm be pulled back, Megumi looks down to see Mayumi staring off.

“Mayumi, what are you looking at?”

Tsumiki also stopped when she noticed her two younger siblings weren’t behind her. Crouching down, she wanted to see what had caught her baby sister’s attention.

“Is there something you want to look at, Mayumi-chan?”

Mayumi looks at Tsumiki before nodding and pointing to the store that has captured her attention. Megumi and Tsumiki look to see that the store that has captured her attention was Uniqlo. Surprisingly enough, this was a clothing store that mostly made up Megumi AND Toji’s wardrobes. Tugging Megumi along, Mayumi walks into the store with a mission. The two look at each other with curiosity, wondering what their little sister was so dead set on finding. They watched as Mayumi’s eyes scanned the racks and shelves, head darting up, down, left, and right. Megumi makes a decision to let go of her hand to see what she’ll do. Upon feeling her hand’s release, Mayumi speed walks away to the Men’s side. Megumi and Tsumiki made haste to not lose sight of her. Now it’s their turn in trying to keep up with her as she continuously searches for what she’s looking for.

Megumi starts to panic when Mayumi seemingly vanishes before him. He swore he only took his eyes off of her for a split second, and now she’s gone. He was close to going into search party mode when he spotted Mayumi standing before one of the shelving displays. Letting himself breath again, he walks over to where she was before picking her up.

“Mayumi, you can’t run off like that! You know you’ll get lost and separated from Tsumiki and I. You have to make sure you can see us close behind before going on your own.” Megumi lightly chastised her. Though, he never could get mad at her no matter what she did.

Mayumi pouts slightly at Megumi, understanding what she did was dangerous.

“Sorry, Gumi-Nii. Didn’t mean to do it to you and Miki-Nee…But! I found Papa’s Father’s Day gift!” Mayumi excitedly exclaims, pointing to the rack.

Megumi looks to see what she means and by then Tsumiki caught up to the two. Tsumiki also follows to see what the two were staring at. The section she was pointing at was the Men’s section for underwear and socks. Tsumiki chuckles while Megumi becomes both confused and a little embarrassed. Mayumi squirms in Megumi’s arms, signaling him to let her down. Once safely on the ground, Mayumi grabs a packet and holds it up to her siblings.

“Mayumi-chan, why do you think this can be a gift for Papa? You think Papa would need this?” Tsumiki gently asks her, hoping to understand what she meant.

Mayumi nods quickly, continuing to hold up the boxer packet.

“Yes! Because Papa needs new ones!”

Tsumiki and Megumi looked at each other surprised before Tsumiki looked back at Mayumi.

“How do you know, Mayumi-chan?”

“Mama said it when she was folding the clothes after drying them! This was when Papa was out with Uncle Shui! She said why does Papa keep wearing his underwear even though they have holes in them. I saw what she was talking about because Papa does have holes in his underwear! So, why not get Papa new underwear?”

Tsumiki found this amusing and a bit funny at Mayumi’s enthusiasm. Meanwhile, Megumi had a furious blush painted across his face. He didn’t expect their shopping trip to go this way. Let alone, the deciding gift was the most plain and not so well-thought out of. Though Megumi felt his embarrassment burn his entire being, he’s not complaining about the gift choice. He knew it was a practical gift for their dad, especially knowing Toji’s track record when it came to clothing.

As strange as it is to admit, Megumi couldn’t deny that a go-to gift to give to any guy is a pack of brand new underwear paired with a fresh pack of socks. He knew there’s nothing you could do wrong with that combination. He even witnessed it firsthand when Yuuji was way too excited when he got a box filled with pairs of socks and boxer briefs for his birthday. And knowing how lax Toji is, Toji probably would like this more than anything. So Megumi stays quiet and lets the girls handle it.

“I think that’s a great idea, Mayumi-chan. We should get some of these for Papa so he doesn’t have to keep wearing his old ones.”

“But I don’t know Papa’s size…Maybe Mama knows! We should call Mama, Miki-Nee!”

Tsumiki nods while pulling out her phone, hitting your contact. The phone buzzed once before your voice was heard on the phone. Mayumi decides to talk on everyone’s behalf and ask for Toji’s underwear size. After a bit, Mayumi hands the phone back to Tsumiki and the two of you talk. Once hanging up, it was settled.

“Gumi-Nee, Mama said Papa only wears black and dark blue boxers! And also said Papa is a size large!”

Since he didn’t want his sisters to look awkward, Megumi took it upon himself to take the three packs of boxers and one pack of socks to check out. The socks were a last minute decision but again, practical for someone like Toji. After Tsumiki gave her half of the total to Megumi, he bought them and left with his sisters. After getting home, Megumi decided it would be best if he kept the gift in his room to not raise any suspicions if Toji had any.

“So, did you three buy your Dad his gift?”

Mayumi runs up to you and fervently nods while pointing at the Uniqlo bag Megumi’s holding. Megumi gives you the receipt for tax purposes and so Toji doesn’t see the price for it as he’ll definitely take it. You grinned while looking at the receipt, something Megumi and Tsumiki believe would be akin to playful or mischievous.

“Nice job, you three. Now, go change and clean up a bit for dinner. Your dad will be home soon.”

Speak of the devil, not even five minutes later, the front door is opened and a gruff “I’m home!” can be heard. Toji was already home. Hearing his voice, Mayumi dashed to where he was and was immediately picked up by him. His iconic DILF chuckle and the giggles of your youngest child can be heard getting closer to the kitchen. Something you never get tired of hearing and hope to hear more of every time.

“Glad to hear you had a good day, Princess. Now go with your sister to change and freshen up.”

Mayumi nods before being put down, dashing towards Tsumiki who then holds her hand as she takes her upstairs.

You were finishing cleaning up the dirty dishes when you felt a warm presence on your back.

“How are you doing, Doll? Looks like you got dinner all figured out, didn’t I tell you my food prep made things easier?”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the feeling of your husband wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. Toji wants to be all over you no matter the hour.

“Yeah yeah, don’t let that ego get higher than it already is…But thank you though, Hon. It cuts down cooking time by a lot. I appreciate it.” You tenderly answered before giving him a simple kiss on the cheek.

Wearing a victor’s smile, Toji pulls away. Crossing his arms with his chest all puffed out as his pride builds up.

“If that’s all that takes for some of your kisses, I’ll keep on doing it. Only for you, Doll. Glad it makes things easier for ya.”

Even though it said because of his pride, there was an undeniable softness on his features many would believe was impossible for him to make. But here he was, doing exactly that like it was any normal day at the Fushiguro household. The fondness he exhibits to you is both a blessing and a honor because you knew you were a part of the few people that bring it out of him.

Smiling back, you mirrored your loving softness on your face as well.

“It does, Toji. Now, go change and shower. I don’t know what Shui and you did today but you smell like outside. I don’t want that in our bed so go upstairs and shower, Hon.”

Toji smirks but nods at your command. Taking himself upstairs to wash away the smell. Dinner goes on as normal. Silent but pleasant as it lets everyone decompress from the day. Toji does the dishes since you cooked dinner and the kiddos clean up the kitchen table. Everyone retires into the night without issue and Toji has his arms wrapped around you as you sleep on top of him.

It was 7:30 A.M. when you heard voices coming from downstairs and the slight clanging of metal. You groggily blinked the sleep from your eyes while feeling the sun brightening up your room. Hearing Toji’s faint and calm breathing, you knew he wasn’t waking up anytime soon. After successfully slipping away from Toji’s grasp, you were able to change into your home clothes before going downstairs. Upon reaching the kitchen, the sight before you was a pleasant surprise.

There was Tsumiki and Megumi, wearing aprons, and using the kitchen while Mayumi was drinking her juice from her sippy cup. Albeit very sleepy but that changes when she hears footsteps and sees you walking in with a warm smile on your face.

“Mama! Gumi-Nii and Miki-Nee are making Papa breakfast! I’m here for moral support!” She excitedly whispers to you as you hold her up.

You look over to see your two eldest working away prepping their Father’s Day breakfast. You hum while inspecting their handy work, peering over their shoulder to see.

“It smells good, you two. Though, I’m surprised you’re able to get up at this time, Megumi. Normally, you would sleep in until another two hours or so.”

He doesn’t take his eyes off the rice balls he’s making, but his tone is less irritated and tense compared to most mornings.

“Well, I feel bad for letting Tsumiki do all the work in cooking. So I woke up earlier than normal to help out. Plus, Mayumi woke me up and asked me to help Tsumiki make breakfast because she couldn’t.”

Mayumi’s soft giggles were paired with your own. Softly patting his hair, you offer Megumi a grateful smile.

“I’m happy to know you helped out, Dear. Good to back up your sisters.”

You pat Tsumiki's shoulder comfortingly to not let her lose focus on her cooking.

“Call for me if you two need any help.”

The two nod before you make your way upstairs with Mayumi, making your way to your shared bedroom where your husband is sleeping. Mayumi writhes and squirms in your hold, begging to be let down to wake up her Papa. As soon as her feet touch the ground, she quietly and firmly opens the bedroom door. B-lining towards the bed with you following suit. She climbs up onto the bed and crawls to where Toji was sleeping peacefully. Your youngest stares for a few moments at her Papa before gently pounding his chest.

“Papa…Papa…Wake up!”

After a few tries, Toji stirs a bit before blinking slowly. Toji motions his head to face the culprit that woke him up from his restful sleep. Seeing Toji waking up, Mayumi beams down at him along with you softly smiling at the side of the bed.

“G’morning, Papa! Happy Papa Day!”

“Morning to you too, Little Lady~.”

He takes Mayumi in his arms while steadily sitting up. Her sweet sequels and giggles echo throughout the bedroom as Toji kisses all over her face and tickles her sides. Grinning down at his youngest daughter, he carries it when his eyes meet yours.

“Morning, Beautiful~.”

The morning rasp and gruffness in his voice made you want to scream at the sky while death-gripping the ground below. You desperately thanked any and all divine pantheons for blessing you with such a man. But alas, you couldn’t allow yourself to fold so easily. Especially in front of Toji, knowing you’ll never see the end of his teasing and salacious, but consensual, advances. You just light-heartedly roll your eyes while shaking your head, but your smile never ceases.

“Good Morning to you too, Handsome~. Happy Father’s Day. Breakfast is ready downstairs.”

Toji temporarily sets down Mayumi as you pass him a shirt to wear since he was wearing his gray sweat shorts. He picks up Mayumi again before making his way out and into the kitchen to satiate his morning hunger. Just like you, he reacted with surprise seeing a fully set table before him. But this is Toji we’re talking about. So the most we’ll get out of his reaction is his eyes which went wide.

He was about to ask if you made all the food as you passed by but you tilt your head to the side and he sees Megumi and Tsumiki cleaning up the kitchen.

“They helped you with making breakfast, Doll?”

You shake your head while taking Mayumi in your arms to place her in her chair.

“I didn’t even touch the kitchen this morning. They were in here this whole time.”

Sitting down, it finally clicked with Toji. He just grinned as he took his usual seat at the edge of the table. Once everyone was seated and began eating, so did he. Toji never thought of himself as the sentimental type. But he couldn’t help himself in allowing this particular feeling to wash over him. If he went back in time to tell his younger-self that he’d become a husband and a father of three kids, he most certainly knew his past-self would scoff and think he’s a liar. Toji won’t lie because he has a hard time believing it himself sometimes. Even after almost two decades of being married to you and 15 years of being a father, he’s in awe of how his life ended up to the present day.

Sneaking glance as he eats, he sees his two oldest kids having their usual sibling conversation. 16 and 15 years old, first and second years in high school. It would only be a few years until they would graduate high school.

‘Geez, they’ll be legal adults in less than five years…Fucking shit, man…’

Toji then sneaks glances at you, which he sometimes catches your gaze as well. There was a certain feeling of your smile every time you sent it his way. But it was not until he reminded himself that your particular smile you always gave him was of contentment. But not in a sense of bare minimum, no. Toji knew it came from utter satisfaction and gratification in this domestic life you two shared.

No, the life you two created together for each other.

Watching you interact with your children just fills him with life’s satisfaction. He thought it was impossible for someone like him to experience something like this. But here he is, sitting down eating breakfast with his family in their home on a Sunday morning. Damn, he didn’t blame you for giving him that smile because he gets it.

After eating and cleaning up the table, Megumi said he forgot something in his room and went upstairs to get it. Meanwhile, Toji was reading the morning paper while simultaneously listening to the news that was live on the tv. Mayumi was chilling in Toji’s lap with her Cinnamoroll plushie because she had nothing better to do. Meanwhile, you were teaching Tsumiki how to use the coffee machine and the set up for Toji’s usual.

Once Megumi came back with the familiar Uniqlo bag, everyone shifted their attention to Toji and gathered around him. He looked confused by the sudden change in behavior. Placing his paper down, he suspiciously eyes everyone.

“Okay, something’s up. Did I do something I don't know about?”

You shake your head at him, making it clear he wasn’t in trouble. Mayumi jumps off Toji’s lap, pattering over to Megumi who hands over the bag. She races back to her papa with an eager smile on her face, holding the bag up to him.

“Oh, what’s this, Princess?”

“It’s from Me, Gumi-Nii, and Miki-Nee! We got you a present for Papa Day!”

Feeling both astounded and touched, he takes the bag from her before ruffling her hair. Mayumi lets out a little squeal before running towards Tsumiki who picks her up. The bag was small, specifically eight inches by six inches. But what’s inside filled the bag up to its capacity so Toji was intrigued to see what his kiddos got him. He shakes the bag for good measure, causing Megumi to become impatient.

“Dad, just open it up. I promise you we didn’t put a spider or a cockroach in there. This is your real gift from us.”

The man chuckles out loud, shooting a grin his son’s way which made his impatient grow.

“Alright alright, I hear you, Megs. I was seeing if I could guess what you bought for me. Nothing wrong with checking things out. Reel yourself in kid.”

Megumi groans out causing his sisters and you to giggle at this usual interaction. Eventually, Toji opens the gift and reaches inside. His eyebrows furrowed and pushed themselves together, trying to figure out what he was touching. Suddenly, his brows released themselves from being tensed as he pulled out the three packs of boxers and one pack of socks. It was silent, a little too silent. For a second, Megumi and Tsumiki held their breaths while you anticipated his reaction.

Then, out of nowhere, a hearty laughter filled the kitchen as Toji held them in his hand. Amusement was all he felt looking at the packs in front of him. He let out a content huff, holding up one of the boxer packs.

“Wow, this is how you give gifts. You guys are just like your mama, you all have gifting skills people dream of.”

“Wait, you actually like it, Papa?”

Toji let a bemused look pass over him before it went back to amuse.

“Oh yeah, I sure as hell love it. I keep forgetting to buy some and your mother has been on me for God knows how long about getting new ones. You rascals killed two birds with one stone for me. And socks too? Now that’s being generous to your old man.”

The two were finally able to breathe since they second guessed themselves.

“Happy Father’s Day, Papa!”

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”

Toji gets up to give Megumi and Tsumiki his love squeezes. Tsumiki giggled while Megumi begrudgingly accepted his dad’s affection. Though, he doesn’t resist or push away when his dad hugs him.

As this was happening, you wore a grin that stretched wide with eyes that shone with mischief. Toji catches your expression, fully knowing something is brewing inside.

“Babe, you’re making that face. Spill it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hon~.”

Oh, there’s definitely something now and Toji’s gonna get it out of you.

“Don’t be so coy, (Y/N). You got that grin plastered on your face and eyeing me like that, you got something to say. I see those little gears in your pretty head of yours moving.”

You were trying to hold in your laughter. Key word was try though. The moment you made your thoughts be known will cause endless oxygen-depriving laughter from you. But you needed to say it in full. No stutters, no mistakes, no slang, dead set on getting those words out. You can’t fumble yourself right now.

“I’m just saying, I have been telling you to get new ones for years! Some of your underwear have holes in them! You have to get new ones every five to seven years, Hon!”

He playfully scoffs.

“Doll, just because they’re old doesn’t mean I need to throw them away after a few years. If they can still do their job in covering up my junk, I don’t see why I need to get new ones. I only needed to know one because of you.”

Sighing exasperatedly, you still held your grin and waited for the right moment to strike.

“Hon, you don’t understand. I’m not saying you need to buy new ones after a while! I’m saying some, as in most, of your underwear are worn down to the bone! You have to put them down, Toji!”

“Babe, again, if it still works, it still works. Yeah, some of my underwear have holes in them but they’re still wearable. Not my fault they have holes in them! Plus, I never wear tight-fitted pants, so I don’t get how my underwear chafes when I wear joggers, sweats, and cargo pants!”

Bingo, everything is in position and there’s a clear pathway. You can’t mess this up when you have a clear shot. Crossing your arms still grinning, you stare down your husband.

“Oh but it is, Toji! The reason why you got holes in your underwear is because your balls are rough! If they weren’t, I wouldn’t be breathing down your neck about them. Don’t you even notice when you fold the laundry?”

For a few moments, the silence fell over the Fushiguro house. Toji was bewildered, taken aback by what you said. You were one to never be crass in front of the kids or in general. Thus, this was the closest thing to you being vulgar.

For the teens, they stood still and frozen in place. However, for different reasons. For Tsumiki, she was stunned. Heavily skilled in the art of not being or feeling awkward. She’s not bothered or offended by your words. Rather, she didn't expect you to say something like that when they’re around. She knew it was bound to happen, just not with this conversation and those words. For Megumi, he was straight up flabbergasted. Never in a million years would he hear something like come out of you. Given, you’re known to have sufficient self-control when it comes to speaking in such a manner. Reserving that language for anyone 18 and over, and their dad. Right now, he’s growing frustrated because now he knows what people mean with you and Toji’s marriage has top tier chemistry. Megumi slowly realizes that both his parents are rat bastards and of equal humor. Noting that you were better at keeping it under wraps while his dad bore no filter at all. Meanwhile, Mayumi was just existing and cuddling her plushie. Becoming oblivious to the whole matter as her toddler brain couldn’t comprehend the words being used. But it was a good thing, much to both Megumi and Tsumiki relief.

“Did Mom just—?”

“Say what I think she said…?”

With their minds broken, the two were trying to process what just happened. You said it, made it be known. Something that probably should be said when they’re not present or only with their dad. Thinking about how you said them too: saying them with your chest, locked-in, hyper-focused, 10 toes down on the ground, no stuttering whatsoever. It looked like you were thinking about this for a long time and needed to get it off your chest.

To which you did, and successfully as well.

Just when the teens thought they were in the clear, they were thrown another curb ball. This time, it was from Toji.

“Doll, why are you complaining about them now? You never did beforehand, how do you think I gave you Tsumiki, Megumi, and Mayumi? You took them and everything else. I’m not letting you throw me under the bus like this.”

Silence came back as soon as it left. If the two thought your words were absurd, their dad’s beat it and took your place with his own. Now Megumi’s petrified because he didn’t know what else would come out of either his mom or dad’s mouth. Fearing the embarrassment and possible vulgarity to over take what the two of you said prior. He didn’t want to hear nor wanted to know anymore. Just when he was about to drag his sisters away to leave you and Toji to your own devices, he sensed something that made him stay.

All at once, the silence was broken by you and Toji bursting out in laughter. You were holding onto his shoulders, gasping for more air to put in body but it was futile as you continued laughing even harder. Toji has his arms crossed but his sturdy broad frame shakes as he can’t restrain his uncontrollable laughter. The kids watch on, once again thinking this was finally done.

But the next thing they knew, they felt a gust of air pass by them followed with another. In a turn of events, you were being chased by Toji throughout the Fushiguro Estate. Yet, your laughter and squeals that were accompanied by your husband’s playful threats made it known this was all fun and games for you.

It went on like this for several minutes. Your two teens would’ve cringed but let it pass over when they noticed Toji carrying you over his shoulder from the house towards the large Saucer Magnolia tree in the garden. Plopping himself on the grass with you in his lap, arms wrapped securely around your waist.

“Now, Doll, where’s your present for me? I don’t see it.” Toji says, feigning hurt as he whines fakingly.

You roll your eyes at his performance. Though, instead of a grin, a smile was all that was left. Highlighting the blissful expression you wore.

“I know you, Toji. You just want me to baby and give you all my attention.” You huffed lightly.

“Yeah yeah, but you’re still gonna give it to me. You won’t deny me, Baby.”

Shaking your head, you let yourself be at your husband’s mercy. Indulging himself in your warmth in presence. It was a peaceful moment until you heard a little giggling coming closer. Both of you look up to see Mayumi running this way followed by Megumi and Tsumiki who held a blanket to be laid on.

Toji unravels one arm to catch his youngest and sits her on his free thigh across from you. You never noticed until now how beautiful and relaxed Toji is. While he was known for his laid back personality, you knew it’s from not wasting his energy on matters that don’t concern him. The reality was, Toji used to be tense and rigid. Forcing to stay on guard whilst putting on that lax facade. It wasn’t until he met and married you was when his stiffness and strained body began to disappear from his body. He was relaxing, loosening himself up because of you.

Although your shared life with him wasn’t easy and had its share of hardships, you felt honored Toji allowed himself to rest and find comfort in you. To see him finally have a sense of peacefulness after knowing what he’s been through, you only wish to love, care. and protect him for as long as you’re on this plane of existence.

Seeing how much contentment he has in interacting with his children and you, he was undeniably beautiful and sublime both physically and mentally. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you immerse in the loving family atmosphere you’re grateful to be a part of. Mayumi rambling and talking Toji’s ear off while your husband entertains her. Meanwhile, you watch your two older children talk and spill the gossip in their school lives to each other.

You wallowed in this domestic bliss, savoring it as there will be nothing else like it. You’re not the only one as Toji joins in basking in this domestic bliss as well. He would never say this out loud, but he didn’t think he’d live this long. He thought he’d died young due to his reckless and careless behavior, getting himself into deep shit that would ultimately be his grave. The voice in his mind reminds him that this may be a one time thing, that he’ll never get this in the next life. But he pushes that thought away to deal with it later. For now, he’ll be present here with you as you both happily entertain your little Mayumi and her current interest.

As for Megumi and Tsumiki, they can rest easy knowing they won’t have to hear you or Toji saying those appalling words again anytime soon.

Taglist:

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@szillx @SleppyAnn @g0th1xac1d @kneelarhmstrung

Taglist form Here!

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

hiya absolutely love you writing. could I please request masc!reader x Regina George or maybe poly plastics. R presents themselves as a dom but in reality Regina is almost always on top. Maybe this gets revealed in a game of truth or dare after r is acting bratty and pretending to be a top. If your comfortable maybe when they go back home Regina punishes r.

Dare to Top

|| Regina George x nonbinary!masc!reader

|| Warnings; takes place after everything so everyone's in the same friend group, make out scene, implications of sex, drunk reader and regina, underage drinking, short drabble

|| Summary; reader definitely likes having people think they're the top. during a game of truth or dare when they're asked which is the top and they say them, regina takes matters into her own hands and proves them wrong.

Requests open!

Started; September 19th

Finished; September 21st

~~~

You, Regina, Gretchen, Karen, Cady, Aaron, Janis and Damian all sat around in a circle at a party. Playing a game of truth or drink.

"Okay, I think it's Janis' turn to ask a question." Cady said, trying to recall who hasn't gone yet.

Janis looked directly at you with a grin and you immediately had a bad feeling about whatever it was she was about to do.

"Y/N, Truth or Drink?" She asked.

"Drink." You were about to take a drink when you felt Regina's hand stop you, she leaned her chest against your back as she smirked. Whispering into your ear but still loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You've picked that the last three times, baby. Switch it up." Regina told you, you gave her a side eye but the gaze in her eyes got you to listen.

"Truth." You muttered, bracing yourself for whatever Janis was going to ask.

Her grin widened.

That worried you.

"Who's the top between you and Regina?" Janis asked, knowing full well what the answer probably was but she wanted the chance to mess with you.

You blushed deeply and very confidently answered," me. I top."

The others gave you some side glances as if saying 'yeah sure, Y/N'. While Cady and Karen both just looked confused.

"Wait do you have a bunk bed , Y/N?" Karen asked.

Regina and Janis burst out laughing at that.

"Karen, baby, no." Gretchen rested her hand on Karen's while she tried not to laugh too, leaving Karen more confused as she looked at her.

"Top what then? Top shelf?" Karen continued, Gretchen just shook her head and sighed.

"Girl, stay innocent." Damian said with a laugh.

Once Regina settled down, she leaned over and whispered in your ear," you know that isn't true, baby."

You shivered at the feeling of her lips just barely brushing against your skin, causing her to smirk as her hand snaked around the back of your neck. Her nails lightly scratching against the skin there.

You tried your best to focus on the game and not show any visible reaction to what Regina was doing to you. Since that would absolutely give away to the fact that you had lied. So you tried your hardest to play it cool.

When the party was over, Regina took you back to her place. The both of you stumbling over each other with drunken giggles as you made it to her room.

Regina pulled you towards her bed and pinned you down with her signature smirk," still certain you're the top, baby?" She murmured against your neck, lips just barely touching before she kissed you there.

"I-" You tried to protest but her lips moved from your neck to your lips, shutting up whatever you were going to say almost immediately.

You melted into the kiss, meeting her lips with an intense desire.

When she pulled away, you were left panting for air. Staring into her eyes.

"I think you need a reminder, hm?" Regina teased, her eyes trailing down your body before coming back to look at your lips.

"I..." You tried speaking again, but she shushed you with a hand over your mouth.

"No talking, baby." Regina whispered as she worked to get you out of your clothes.

Safe to say she definitely reminded you who was the top that night.

[ao3lestappeninchident]

Positive

Carlos Sainz x Fem!reader

Summary: You take a pregnancy test after your period is late. How will your boyfriend take it?

wc: 822

Warning: Pregnancy

You were sitting down against the cold tile wall of the bathroom. Your mind was racing with so many thoughts about what was going to happen. 

You had been late to your period by two weeks now, You hadn't even noticed it at the beginning, just thinking that it will come the following day. But then your friend, Alexandra, pointed out that you could be pregnant and your mind went blank. She had seen your state and left you to calm down while she picked up some pregnancy tests for you at the pharmacy. 

"It is going to be okay either way right?" you ask unsure, placing the rings around your fingers. You had plucked on the skin next to your nails and Alex had to take you hand in hers. Otherwise your fingers would start bleeding.  The topic of children hadn't come up a lot in conversation with your boyfriend and you didn't know how he was going to react. He had said he wanted them in the future, but is that now. Is this the future. He is in the highest place of his career, he doesn't have time for a child. 

Three minutes felt like a century. Since you had taken the test, you and Alex were sitting on the couch. She tried to calm you down a little, resuring you that everything would be fine. 

You were taken out of your trance by the timer going off, signaling that those three minutes were over. "Can you please check." Your heart was racing in your chest. Alex nods and walks towards the table where the two sticks were laying. Her back was turned towards you so you didn't see the smile that had formed on her face. 

"Congratulations, you are going to be a mother." She clapped her hands as you hugs you for support. Your mind stopped at those words. Tears had formed in your eyes and for the first time that evening you finally knew how you felt about it. You were happy. 

"Omg, I am going to be a mother. I am pregnant." You cried happy tears as did a little jump into the air. "How am I going to tell Carlos?"

He is at a Ferrari meeting, together with Charles. That was the reason you and Alex had decided on meeting up. The original plans had been forgotten the moment she had pointed out, what was the truth. He would be home late today and probably tired. Maybe tomorrow is a better option. But you couldn't lay next to him knowing this and not telling. 

"Just say it when the time is right. You don't have to do it right away, but also don't keep it hidden too long. You will know when the best time is to tell. I am sure Carlos would be jumping with joy. 

-> Time skip

Carlos and Charles had finished their meeting and were right now sitting on the couch talking about it. The minute Carlos had stepped inside you were acting differently and he noticed it. He wanted to ask, but not with the rest around you. 

You helped give Alex all her stuff to put it in her bag. "Everything will be fine." Alexandra whispered in her ear and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Charles looks at his girlfriend confused, but she just shrugs her shoulders as she grabs his hand. He needed to wait for this news. It was not hers to tell him. "Thank you for having me. I will call you."

Carlos and Charles did their Bro hug before the other couple walked out of your hotel room. When the door closed Carlos placed his hands on your hips. "Are you okay, Hermosa?" You put your head into his chest and he placed a kiss on your forehead. 

"Are you breaking up with me?" Carlos sounded a bit scared. Your eyes widened at his words and you fast resured him. "No, no. absolutely not. Why would you think that?"

"Thank god."He went with his hand through his hair. "You just have been so closed in since I walked through that door. I was scared." He took your hands into his. "Then what is it that you want to tell me?" Your eyes locked and he saw that yours were a little bit filled with tears. 

"I am pregnant. You are going to be a dad." You showed the positive test to him. A big smile appeared on his face when he saw it. He took your chin and kissed you on your lips. "You are pregnant. I am going to be a dad." He looked like the happiest person on earth when he heard those words and the angst in your heart disappeared. 

"I love you, mi Vida." He placed another kiss on your lips. He went down on his knees to give a kiss to your belly. "Hello, Carino. I can't  waite to meet you."

[milaisreading]

Overworking and vacations!

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open. World 5!Yn AU

⚽️Blue lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"These reports are horrendous!!!" Loki cringed and stopped his fist right ok time before he could knock on (Y/n)'s office door. The French boy moved away a little and looked at the door cautiously before he decides on what to do next.

'Wasn't that (Y/n)-san's voice? Why is she yelling like that?' The player thought, gulping a little as he moved closer to the door to hear what would be said next.

"They are not bad. Calm down, I am sure it will be fine." Anri's calmer voice could be heard from the other side as a groan followed right after she said that.

"That's what you and Ego-san may think, while I do respect your opinions, the JFA's is more important here. You know better than I do how they are."

'Hmm? Are they giving her a hard time?' Loki frowned in worry as he heard her statements.

"I do, but still, don't beat yourself up over it. Letsvgo and have some lunch now, you didn't eat anything since yesterday."

"I can't. I still have to finish a few pages and proof read them again."

"You will work yourself sick!"

"Haha it's not like I have anything else going on!"

Loki slowly backed away from the door, while trying to process everything he heard from (Y/n). While he did notice that she was more stressed than usual, he didn't think it was this bad, and he couldn't help but feel awful for not noticing anything sooner.

"Hmm... I wonder if I can help her somehow." Loki muttered to himself when he was finally far away from the door and started walking back toward the dining hall where he left the other 4 players.

"What can I do? I don't want her to be stressed like this, but I am just a kid, nobody of importance- Oh! Maybe I am not an adult, but I know 4 men who are!" Loki grinned and sprinted down the hallway.

Pablo sighed as he played around with the food on his plate. It tasted so bland. And while he usually ate this with so much joy, without (Y/n) to keep him company it was just plain food.

"Boring..."

"Quit acting like a kid, Pablo! (Y/n) doesn't like that trait~" The Argentinian glared at Silva, who was laughing at his state.

"Got something to say?"

"Nothing more than (Y/n) doesn't like that childish behavior."

"Let him be, Silva. He probably isn't in a good mood." Surprisingly enough, it was Adam who was the voice of reason.

"Besides, if he acts like a kid around (Y/n), I have better chances to be with her."

"Absolutely not!"

"You stay away from her!" Pablo and Silva glared at the Brit while Luna laughed a little.

"Calm down, you three. We don't want (Y/n) to see this ruckus- Ah! Loki, there you are. Where is (Y/n)?"

Luna wondered as they all looked at the French boy entering the room.

"I wanted to get her for lunch, but I came across an issue. It has to do with the JFA and (Y/n)."

"What is it?" Silva wondered, getting a little serious when he saw the expression on Loki's face.

"Well, you know how they employ her and always ask for some reports?"

"I do! And it takes away so much of (Y/n)'s time. Time that she could have spend with me." Adam rolled his eyes, agitated that Loki reminded him of that.

"Well, it looks like they seem to be overworking her a lot."

The table fell silent and Loki could see anger flesh in their eyes.

'Got them!'

"How overworked are we talking about?" Pablo asked, his voice sounding deeper than the usual. Luna looked at Loki as well, hoping to hear a simple answer so that he can teach those men a lesson as soon as possible.

"Well, she is close to crying."

This was all it took for all hell to break lose, and Loki was more than proud that he was she final nail in the coffin for it. He watched as Luna slowly took his phone out to dial a number.

'Probably a higher up at PIFA? He does know some people, after all.' He thought as Adam spoke up.

"Alright then, I lost my appetite and will have a small trip to Tokyo. Who wants to go with me and threaten- I mean talk to some older gentlemen?"

"I will gladly come with you. Can we stop by and but some flowers for (Y/n)? I heard she likes tulips." Pablo wondered, looking uncharacteristically pissed off.

"I will accompany you two as well. Maybe we should get her some cake as well. Everyone loves sweets after all." Silva said with a tight smile as he cracked his knuckles.

"I am coming with you three as well. I just need to make a few calls." Luna said in a cold manner while still on the phones, and honestly, the expression was scary to see. Loki knew that Luna wasn't all sunshine and rainbows when he smiled, but right now he preferred the fake smile over the glare he was seeing.

'Oh well, those guys deserve what's coming for them.' Loki snickered.

Later that day...

"Can you believe it?! It was so weird! I didn't expect them to prolong my due date for that report by a whole month. Maybe they do have a heart after all!" (Y/n) laughed as she sat with Luna, Pablo, Adam, and Silva in the dining hall while they ate some sweets the guys bought.

"Well, things aren't always as they seem." Pablo said, sounding a little cryptic, but (Y/n) decided not to pay much attention to it. Maybe she was just tok tired?

"Still, I do feel bad for misjudging those old men." She hummed as Silva gave her a pat on the back.

"It's fine! They will recover from it. But, now that you have more time to spare, what are your plans?"

"Plans? What do you mean by that?" (Y/n) questioned the Brazilian as Adam chimed in.

"What Silva means by this is if you plan on taking a few days off. Like, exploring new places or something?"

(Y/n) kept quiet for a moment as the men looked at her in anticipation.

"Well, I do have one place I would like to visit... Luna-san, you wouldn't mind to find me a tour guide around Madrid?" She asked in an embarrassed fashion as the blonde looked at her in surprise. Truthfully, he never expected her to accept his invite to Madrid, but he can't say he was disappointed about the development.

"Dear, I will be your tour guide. Don't you worry about anything. I will organize the best tour plan around Madrid."

Internally, the man smirked in victory as the three men glared at him for a moment before looking back at (Y/n).

"You sure your coach won't mind you wasting-"

"It's not a waste!" Luna argued as Adam spoke up.

"Ok then! We are going to Madrid as group then. Right?"

"Of course!"

"Sign me up!"

"What? Nobody invited you three!" Luna glared at Pablo, Adam, and Silva.

"But (Y/n) won't mind having us around, right?" Pablo looked at the woman innocently as she nodded her head.

"Sure! The more the merrier!"

"Well, I will book the tickets for us. Don't worry, (Y/n), I will get you a seat next to me-"

"No way, Silva! She is sitting nest to me!"

"Dream of it, Adam!"

"I can be your pillow! Sit next to me instead, (Y/n)!"

The said woman tried her best to calm the three men down as Luna had the same fake smile on his face.

'I will kick you three on the field once World Cup hits.'

[shojizbae]

Hobie's Innocent Girlfriend

Hobie Brown x Fem! Reader

♛♜

Can you just imagine Hobie with a super innocent type of girlfriend? not that creepy type of couple where a guy dates someone younger than him and she's all infantilized. His girlfriend is actually older than him but she was raised in a conservative protestant house (the national religion of Britain) and hasn't shaken her upbringing despite being in university. They met in a guitar class, (her being classically trained and wanting to expand her skills) Hobie was there because he could sneak in and figure out a riff that he hadn't yet nailed.

She was instantly fascinated by him because he looked so different than what she was used to seeing. Heavy chains that rattled with every step and scratched pin on a sleeveless jacket caught her eye. He spotted her because she looked like something off of a private school pamphlet. neat long coiffed hair, thin gold wristwatch and pleated skirt. everything about her screamed elitist old money.

He was shocked though when she walked over at the end of the class. She told him his name and pointed to a pin on his denim vest.

"What is a sex pistol?" she folds her hand behind her back.

"It's a band. They yell at rich pricks for acting like they are better than the rest of everyone."

"Cool!" he tries to carry on the conversation but she continues to get pissed off by her. Everything she is is everything he stands against. ad going against his grain is pretty rocking. She is one bonnie. He claims that he slowly seduced her. In actuality, she was the one who accidentally got him hook, line, and sinker. They start dating after a month or two of knowing each other.

Hobie is so irredeemably in love with her. And they look so out of place with each other. Half of her belongings are pink all of her socks have ruffles. Hobart is so grungy and dirty compared to her. But (Y/n) is absolutely enamored by him. She is fascinated by how different and real he is. Every time she comes over to his house she looks out of place but it makes his heart ga-lump every time he sees her picking through his collection of vintage pins. One day while looking through his desk full of knick-knacks she finds a neglected spiked bracelet.

"Hobie?"

"Yes, love?"

"Can I have this bracelet?" he hears the clink of a snap and sees the ratty piece of leather with tarnished pewter spikes. He notices how it looks so out of place on your ‘pretty in pink’ look and his heart thrums at the disruption.

“Yeah love, looks great on you.” He tries to bite back the smile forming on his face.

Another time you two are making out and and you get caught on his lip ring. Not physically just mentally. Your in his lap, straddling him, finger threes in the back of his hair. He’s got his hands on your ass and he uses them to keep you as close as possible. He tries to pull back for air but he notices that you’re adhered to his lips like a damn leech.

“Dear, what’s gotten into you?” He smirks in contentment

“I love that little hoop Hobie.” She smirks and half licks her lips

“Yeah?” He questions punctuating with a kiss.

“Yeah.” She chases his kiss as he pulls away.

“Well maybe we should get you some.”

“Ok,” she climbs back in him taking a more dominant stance than before. Hobie loved when she got riled up. She was so hot. That following night Hobie found a piercing shop and even booked an appointment.

Hobie had to hold her hand the whole time she was getting pierced. She didn’t go so extreme as he did with his dermals. Instead she walked out with a bar through her tongue, a nostril hoop, and seven different cartilage piercings. It was going to be torture not to kiss her for “4-6 weeks” he rolled his eyes at that. Somehow though her body healed much quicker than the piercer thought and she was able to return just 16 days later to get a smaller bar in her mouth. She did add one nipple ring and something glittery in her bellybutton.

Hobie was over the moon about being able to kiss her but now he could only play with one titty and he loved both of your titties. He was extra tic to see you become a more punk person while still holding all of your values. And your hole punched ears could be easily hidden if you wore your hair down. You did however have to skip Christmas claiming sickness instead of returning to your family.

Hobie was beside himself. On the one hand Christmas is a Marxist celebration that’s been stripped of its initial pagan roots and been commercialized into a plot for capitalism. On the other hand you were very upset that you couldn’t go home to have mass with your family because you knew they would disapprove of your piercings and of Hobie. Both things you loved endlessly.

I order to cheer you up Hobie had to sacrifice all of his pride. He bought you a few presents, mostly thing you’ve said you need for your flat which he has sporadically moved into. He pinned mistletoe on oversold way with tape because your landlord is a complete asshole. He made you breakfast in bed and told you to get dressed. There was a church nearby and as much as he hated organized religion he hates to see you upset far much more.

The whole time you were smiling. You sang every word to every song. Even before the priest was done quoting the scripture you would cite it. When you got home he made brunch as you set out presents around the tiny plastic tree. Every time you passed through a door way he would trot over to you and say something sly like

“Oh look what we have here? Looks like you need to kiss me.” And you two ended up turning off the stove and shagging like animals in heat.

slowly though, you start to rub off on him

he starts using your fancy expensive ass skincare. You find him napping under your giant fluffy chunky knit blanket; especially after late-night spider escapades. He especially takes on your drama shows and soap operas. He loves when you throw one of your fluffy robes at him when he forgets to grab a towel after the shower.

Eventually, he wears you down enough to introduce him to your parents. they're terrified of what he could be because for over 2 years you've hidden him from them. they're shocked because you squeezed him into a cashmere sweater and slacks. His hair was combed and his piercings had been removed. You manage to scrape through the dinner with no bonfire temper tantrums from your mom. When you finally get back in your car he sighs and tears the sweater off. He drives you home completely shirtless and is grunting and moaning the whole time.

"Love, if you ever make me wear a button-down shirt again, I'll cut the nipples and arms off of it."

"What?" she shreiks

"Yeah, and I'll shag you in front of your old man."

"Hobie!" you slap his bare chest

"I can't help it love, you get me going." He put a hand on your thigh and gives them a gentle rub.

"Hobie wait until we make it home!"

"What, c'mon! You won't even jerk me off a little babe? Please?"

"Well, you sit with the thought for a moment. "You did so well playing house for me. And, you look pretty hot right now." you pull your seatbelt from behind your back and shift your hips around "Maybe just a little." you pull your hair into a ponytail and pull down his zipper. Let's just say Hobie's foot was on the gas pedal all the way to the apartment.

[r-f-m-writes]

Pretty, Dead Animals Chapter One

The shimmering shift of tattoos over refined tendons of muscle made Linette feel like she was being hypnotized as she swept the man's card through the slot on the side of the machine, not even glancing at the amount due.

“Your boss ’s sick, so he leaves a little girl alone to deal with grown men all day? More of a shmuck than I thought.”

The genuine ebb of concern in his tone made Linette’s knees feel wobbly as she handed the card back.

The tip of his index finger brushed against the soft underside of her wrist as he took it from her.

“I can take care of myself.”

When he scoffed at her it wasn’t unkind so much as disbelieving.

"Yeah, kid. I’m sure you think you can.”

Linette’s stomach was swooping itself into hot, excited knots as she stood fixing her hair in the spotty restroom mirror, yanking brown waves out of the claw clip and fluffing out her roots before arranging the tangled mess over her shoulders in a way the looked half presentable.

It had been scorching hot the night before, she’d barely slept. Her under eyes were sunken and blue tinged, she felt groggy and deflated - the clothes she wore had been grabbed thoughtlessly off the top of the clean washing hamper.

Linette didn’t look good, at all, and he had just pulled his black Semi into the truck stop.

He, who had an American accent, a full sleeve of brooding black ink tattoos, and a defined five o'clock shadow that made something primal inside her purr.

He, who had blue eyes, brown hair, and a permanent scowl that etched itself into the center of all her silly, girlish fantasies for the last four months.

He, whose name Linette didn’t know, was mysterious and new and scary in a way that thrilled her from the inside out.

Who could blame a girl for craving something fresh in the monotonous nothingness that came with life in a desert town hours away from anything important?

The shrill ting ting ting of the little ringer at the counter being hit impatiently three times snapped Linette out of her fussing, the girl giving her hair one last pass over in the mirror as she called out.

“Coming!”

The door to the bathroom bumped heavily as Linette hurried out, pretending to dry her hands on the front of her singlet. Blush stung inside her cheeks as she walked toward the counter.

A grunt and the sound of heavy boots shifting on the floor came before his voice.

“Sorry, kid. Thought it was the old fella on today.”

The nickname heated her up. She almost fell over her own feet when the rubber soles of her sneakers caught on the slippery tiles. When she cleared her throat to speak, her voice came out in mumbles.

“ ‘s all good. Ben’s off sick, I’ve been holding down the Servo for him. Pump five?”

Linette lifted her head to look him right in the eye, acting braver than she felt.

He was wearing a cap, gray, with the name of some sports team she didn’t recognize embroidered on the front. His buzz cut had grown out since last time he was at the stop, five o'clock shadow turning into a real beard, all filled out, thick and dark with no irregular patches.

That was how Linette knew he must be older, much older, than her. Boys her age who were trying to grow out their first beards always looked scraggly and gross, like they’d cut off their pubes and glued them to their face in uneven clumps. His beard was nothing like that. He was nothing like that.

Everything about him was mature and distinguished, polished in a finish of radiant masculinity that made Linette want to sink into a dependent puddle at his feet.

Even his mesh of black tattoos looked classic, and tattoos were something that, right up until seeing him for the first time, Linette had absolutely hated; taking them as a red flag of insecurity and a person’s incomplete sense of self.

On him, they looked downright lickable.

Him being the most beautiful man she’d ever seen outside of a TV screen certainly helped compel her intense attraction - but, for Linette, his voice was the nail in the coffin. Low, slow, smooth and rumbling, tinged with an accent she didn’t know how to place. She wanted to listen to him talk for hours.

The spot between his eyebrows pinched as he stooped to lean his elbow on the counter. The cut off black teeshirt he wore looked like it was fighting to stay together around the bulge of his bicep as it flexed while he held out his card for her to take.

The shimmering shift of his tattoos over refined tendons of muscle made Linette feel like she was being hypnotized as she swept his card through the slot on the side of the machine without so much as glancing at the amount due.

The payment was approved immediately.

“He’s sick, so he leaves a little girl alone to deal with grown men all day? More of a shmuck than I thought.”

The genuine ebb of disapproval and concern in his tone made Linette’s knees feel soft as she handed him back his card over the counter.

The tip of his index finger caught off the underside of her wrist as he took it from her.

Linette had to lock her shoulders back to keep herself from shuddering.

Her voice was embarrassed and quiet in her throat when she replied. “I’m twenty one. I can take care of myself.”

When he scoffed at her it wasn’t unkind so much as disbelieving.

“Yeah, I’m sure you think you can. You got anything behind the counter? Pepper spray? A gun?”

He slotted his card back into a neat, folding leather wallet as he questioned her. Linette watched the deft flick of his thick fingers and suddenly her mouth felt dry.

“Nope. Have a panic button, though.”

Pushing the wallet back into the front pocket of his dark wash jeans, he let out a short, humorless huff.

“Panic button. Shit. What‘re you supposed to do between pressing that an’ waitin’ for the cops to pull up? Just gonna stand there, smile all pretty, hope some guy my size doesn't try to rob the place or do what he likes with you?”

Linette was struck silent by the question. She had wondered the same herself countless times, but never came to any sound, practical solution other than doing exactly what he had said; standing still and hoping nothing bad happened to her in specific.

She shrugged hopelessly.

He looked at her. It was a long, strange stare that Linette didn’t know how to understand.

Eventually, he shook his head and sighed.

“What am I gonna do with you, kid?”

[microwave-core]

SWSH Headcanons

I love sword and shield and the chokehold these characters have on me, but if I ever tried to write dialogue for most of them I would have a stroke, so have this instead.

I’ve written a bit for Sonia before, but there is one point that I completely forgot to bring up, and that is how absolutely excited she is to share her research and discoveries with you. She loves her job (most of the time), and is absolutely going to blab to you about it, so be prepared.

You don’t have to understand everything she’s saying, you likely won’t, but that’s okay. Just listening and trying your best to work through what she’s saying will be enough for her. Feel free to ask as many questions as you want, she will answer each and every one of them with incredible enthusiasm. But if you understand what she’s talking about, she would fucking ascend on the spot from happiness.

Please have a girl's night with her. Get holed up in her room while spilling trashy gossip all night while painting each other’s nails over cheap wine, she’ll love you forever. She’d jokingly ask if you had a crush on anyone when you’re already dating and act all innocent and teasing about it, like, “aww, you had a crush on me??” when you’ve literally been dating for years.

Yamper goes everywhere Sonia goes. You can expect him to be begging at your feet whenever you meet up with her, wanting nothing more than for you to bend down and shower him in love and affection. He’s a good boy and he knows it. Sonia might send him off to fetch you when she’s busy, so please trot behind him slowly. He wants to lead you there and doesn’t want to fall behind.

I’ve brought this up before, but Leon would be so supportive. Sonia is his bestie, so when you get into a relationship, he wants to meet you as soon as possible. Man just loves his friends and is so happy when they get into loving, meaningful relationships. He also knows a lot about you because Sonia has gushed about how much she loves you to him on several occasions. He can seem kind of intimidating with his status and all, but he’ll definitely end up thinking highly of you.

And I have to mention Hop as well, because he’s also very supportive. He takes it upon himself to be Sonia’s wingman when she’s pinning. When Leon’s not available, she’ll blab to Hop instead. The second you meet, he begins planning your wedding. Be prepared. 

But that’s not all, because Nessa is also Sonia’s bestie. She’s the only one of the three that you really have to worry about, as she won’t hesitate to speak her mind if she has any kind of issue with you, but she ultimately knows how much you mean to Sonia, and so she has no choice but to be supportive. Anyways, if Sonia takes too long to confess her feelings for you, she’ll get Leon and Hop together to form a plan to make it happen. Sonia is mortified.

Nessa… Need I say more? She is the woman of all time, with one of, if not the, best design in the entire series. She’s gorgeous, she’s powerful, she’s described as having an “indomitable nature”, what more do I have to say?

Unfortunately, as both a model and a gym leader, she’s a busy gal, always running to and fro to get work done. She’ll always try to squeeze in time for you, but that doesn’t always work out, much to her dismay. It also means that many, many people are going to be jealous of you. This goes for all of the gym leaders and champion as well, considering they are essentially celebrities in Galar, but Nessa may as well be in a league of her own.

Many people have crushes on Nessa, both young and old alike, so finding out that she’s taken is a crushing blow. You’re gonna end up with weirdos that hate your guts for daring to date their crush, which sucks. But on the other hand, you’ll also have weirdos who are completely obsessed with you and  your relationship and want to know every little intimate detail. You decide which is worse.

Speaking of being a model, expect to be roped into a photoshoot every now and then. Nessa loves you and thinks you are drop-dead gorgeous, so, naturally, she’s not above pulling some strings to fit in a shoot or two with you. Expect to at least have a Valentines photoshoot every year, since it’s the most obvious way to show off how great of a couple you two are. 

Nessa yearns for the ocean. Having grown up in a sea-side town with fishermen for parents, she’s used to floating out into the ocean and just relaxing. When she’s feeling stressed and pent up, she’ll drift out into the blue abyss with one of her pokemon, staring into the sky above while being rocked gently by the waves. She’d love it if you joined her sometime.

She also really likes fishing. She often comes back to her roots, which leads her to pulling out the full fishing ensemble, “fish fear me women want me” hat included, and getting onto a dinky boat to sail off into the middle of the ocean to fish for hours on end. You are asked to join her on these trips, but they aren’t super exciting unless you absolutely love fishing.

She has pictures of you everywhere. In her gym locker, in her wallet, on her phone, around her house, in Sonia’s lab, everywhere. They’re almost entirely pictures that she’s taken, too. While she is by no means a photographer, she knows a few things about taking good pictures from modeling, and loves to use that knowledge to take wonderful pics of you (not that you don’t look wonderful all the time). Her phone’s lockscreen and wallpaper are also pictures of you, obviously.

So I don’t have a sword so I am not as familiar with Bea, but her design alone is enough for me to write for. 

Girly pop is stoic, but she’s not unbreakable. It’s not the easiest task, but it’s absolutely worth your time to make her smile and laugh. That being said, it makes her very embarrassed and flustered, so please spare her and her image and only do so when in private.

She thinks about you a lot. Bea’s been trained to remain calm and collected, even in tense situations, which makes it difficult for opponents to read her in the heat of the moment. Little do they know she’s just thinking about what her girlfriend is up to at the moment. Were you doing alright? Were you in the stadium watching her match? Were you cheering her on? She hopes so.

Is not above using you to indulge in her love of sweets. She has the biggest sweet tooth in the league, but has a hard time actually eating them without garnering too much attention. So, when she wants to have something sweet, she’ll bring you with her and play it off like it was your idea, therefore she was just following you and being a good girlfriend and not just getting dessert.

Training never stops with this one. She works out all the time, and will invite you to come sometimes. Her training is incredibly rigorous, though, so you likely won’t be able to keep up. Sitting on the sidelines and cheering her on or helping her workout in some kind of way are more than acceptable in her mind. Easiest way to help her is to sit on her back while she does push ups, it helps her workout while also getting to be close with you. Don’t expect her to be talking too much, though.

Her training sometimes brings her to remote locations in the region, and she sometimes forgets to warn you ahead of time. You might spend your entire day trying to get ahold of her and asking others if they’ve seen her, only to receive a text from her hours later that just reads like “ out training”, no further elaboration. 

Bea’s a tad bit touch starved, so she thrives off of your affection. However, she’s not very good at vocalizing her wants, so it falls to you to notice her longing stares. She wants to hold your hand and cuddle and sling her arm around your shoulder when sitting close, but she’s too nervous to initiate on her own due to her lack of experience.

 Her only ask is that you keep your relationship pretty lowkey in public. PDA makes her a little uncomfortable, both because she’s shy with affection and also because she knows people are watching. Hand holding is as far as you are gonna get with her before she breaks a little inside.

Melony my beloved. They did not have to cake her up so much but goddamn I am not complaining because ahjdkgh milf. She’s hot and also incredibly caring and sweet and supportive. 

First things first: you have to get along with her kids. This is non-negotiable. She already has a rocky relationship with one of her children, she doesn’t need to jeopardize that relationship further, or the one’s with her daughters, for any reason, even for love. It’s a lot to suddenly have five step-kids, especially if you don’t have any kids to begin with, but if you aren’t willing to at least try, Melony isn’t going to be sticking around.

She doesn’t want to overwhelm you too quickly, but meeting her children is something she wants to happen early in the relationship. Once things get serious, she’ll invite you over for dinner which, surprisingly, goes very well, with little family drama being drudged up in the process. It takes a monuementous amount of effort to convince Gordie to come over, but he does, reluctantly. It’s probably pretty stressful because, uh, if you mess up then your relationship is toast, but it’s worth it in the end. 

Also, congrats, by doing the bare-minimum, you become Gordie’s favorite mom. This is by default, considering the previously mentioned rocky relationship he has with Melony. She’s just happy that Gordie isn’t upset about her hopping back into the dating scene, same with her daughters, and that they actually like you.

Not normally what I write about with these, or write about in general, but, when it comes to arguments, Melony can be a little difficult because she’s used to being the one in charge. Most of her arguments are with her own children, over both silly and important matters alike, and so she’s used to taking the perspective of “mother knows best”. It’s never her intention to control or demean you, but it can easily come off like that. If you bring it up to her, she’ll do her best to work it out of her mindset (communication is important kids). Not to say that arguments happen often, of course, but they can be incredibly annoying to deal with when they crop up.

Melony loves to cook, and would love to both cook for and with you. It’s maternal instinct to make sure you’re well fed, there’s simply no way around it. Expect her to make you adorably packed lunches and plenty of home cooked dinners. You’ll almost always end up with leftovers, since she’s used to cooking for five people. But she’d love it if you joined her in the kitchen for some quality bonding. If you’re lucky, she might even show you how to make the snomlette. 

It’s honestly incredible that she has time to do so many things for you and her children along with her duties as gym leader with time to spare. It’s the mom magic.

Marnie, despite being punk, is shy and sweet in equal measures. Even as a gym leader, she has a streak of being a little stand-offish and awkward. That’s not to say that she’s meek or a push-over, or that she gets nervous in front of a crowd. She’s just easy to fluster and is usually on the quieter side.

Like many others, Marnie’s got a lot on her plate. Of course, she’s got her duties as a gym leader to tend to, but she’s also working on restoring Spikemuth to its former glory. These don’t just eat up her time, they also leave her tired. Please hold your arms out for her to fall into when she walks through the door after a long day, it’s her favorite way to recharge. 

Morpeko loves you more than anyone else, a blessing you should be thankful for. He’s kinda like a cat, in that he can be very sweet at times and an asshole at others. Oh, and he shows his love through biting. He likes Marnie well enough, but she’s not safe from being bitten or scratched. You, however, are a different story, as he seems to always be sweet when you’re around. Marnie’s convinced he does it out of spite.

Keeping up with the theme of “talking about other character’s important to this specific character”, Piers. He wants the best for his baby sister, considering that he basically raised her and all, but he doesn’t even try to be overprotective or intimidating. Does it sting to watch Marnie grow up, seeing her get into her first real romantic relationship? Of course. But he knows that she’s got a good head on her shoulders, so he sees no reason to butt into her relationship. 

He’s an overall chill guy with a lot more time on his hands since he’s no longer a gym leader. As long as you’re chill, he’s chill, and won’t mind your company. Hell, he might even start looking forward to hanging out with you, thinking of you as part of the family, when you’ve known each other for long enough. The only issue he might have with you is your music taste.

This is a bit more general, but I like to think that Marnie and Hop are good friends. They didn’t know each other too much during the gym challenge, since all they really had was a common friend/rival, but they actually got to know each other once the champion cup was over. It’s not super easy to hang out since they’re both striving towards their own goals, but they find a way.

It’s funny, because I don’t think they would have much in common outside of their music taste, but they’re still friends who hang out and complain to one another. While he’s dropped his dream of being champion, Hop still gets excited over the gym challenge every year and loves to watch her matches. Marnie’s not the most knowledgeable when it comes to pokemon research, but she finds it all interesting and tries to lend a hand. She’s not that helpful. She also is the only person preventing Hop and Bede from throwing hands when they run into each other.

Oleana is the pinnacle of “very busy and very tired”. Gatekeeping, gaslighting, and girlbossing all day takes a great deal of time and effort. She’ll trudge home and fall face first into the couch, perfectly content to call it a night if you don’t step in and make her come to bed.

She loves the chairman dearly, but he also stresses her out immensely. There’s really no point in going out to meet loyal fans on the way to business meetings, but that doesn’t stop Rose from doing that anyways. She badgers him to the best of her ability, but he still takes his sweet time. While she appears composed, she’s screaming internally, waiting until she can go home and scream about it externally when venting to you.

Speaking of the chairman, it seems as if she cares more about him than she does you at times, but she does her best to reassure you otherwise. The chairman is, unfortunately, her priority due to being her boss, but that’s more about admiration than love. Consider the fact that he (unintentionally) makes her incredibly stressed, whereas you don’t. That alone gives her a reason to love you.

Also consider that the idea of coming home to you at the end of the day is part of what keeps her going. Sure, her job is stressful, considering the fact that she is essentially the backbone of the Macro Cosmos company, but she always gets through the day because she gets to see you once it’s all said and done. The tension within her bones dissipates upon walking through the doorway. Hold her in your arms, brush your fingers through her hair, get shitty take out to eat over trashy TV that neither of you are really watching, and you’ll win her heart in an instant.

While she shows her more… aggressive side to you when ranting passionately about all the issues involved with her job, she reverts back to her poised and punctual state whenever in public. Due to her professional nature, expect little PDA. The most you’ll get is hand holding. Unless she’s jealous, at which you’ll get a hand wrapped around your hip which grips just a little too tight until she calms down.

Date nights are typically spent indoors unless she has a day off, which is incredibly unlikely to happen. Firstly, she wants to rant, and she can’t do that in public without destroying her public image. And secondly, she’s tired of dealing with people given how much shit and disappointment she has to deal with throughout the day. You get her, so why would she want to be around anyone else?

Also! Garbador is an absolute sweetheart. She knows how much you help Oleana and that makes her so happy. She tries to show her affection but is a little awkward about it because she doesn’t want to gross you out since she’s… literally made of trash. She usually just watches from afar, all smiley and happy to see you two being happy, getting embarrassed if you catch her doing so.

Sooo I wasn’t originally gonna write anything for Klara because, again, I don’t have sword and am not as familiar with her as I am Bea, but thoughts started rolling so here we are. Also kinda toxic behavior incoming because it’s Klara.

Girl is a pop star, or is at least trying to be one, which means she’ll naturally write love songs about you. And by love songs I mean songs that describe how much she loves you but are also not really love songs because they’re lowkey toxic? Listen, it’s Klara, what else do you expect when that is literally her thing. She also has songs about her exes, which contain… worrying content, but that’s neither here nor there.

In general? Don’t break her heart. She will key your car and slash your tires and will attempt to instigate physical fights and will also write a song about you and how much she hates you and all of the things she hopes happen to you. Again, it’s Klara. But if she loves you with her whole heart and soul, then you have nothing to worry about. She’ll be more than happy to do all those things towards people you don’t like instead.

She's not the best at showing her love. Her goal in life was always to be loved by everyone around her without having to do much in return, but your existence has disturbed that goal because she actually really likes you and actually wants to try for you? And she kind of hates that, and it takes her a while to even figure out what the hell was wrong with her, and she ends up resenting you for a hot minute for making her feel so weird.

But she gets over that and decides to put in actual effort into your relationship, trying to be a better person both for you and herself. She takes the time to listen to you and work out your likes and dislikes, and puts effort into coming up with cute date nights, and does her best to be there for you when you’re down or need to get something off of your chest. Just normal girlfriend things. She’ll never admit to changing how she acts, though. This unintentionally turned into an “I can fix her” post whoopsie.

Klara loves to take pictures of herself and photoshop them, so expect to be sent most, if not all, of them. Sometimes, she just thinks she’s looking exceptionally cute and just needs to share her hotness with someone else. She also expects you to send pictures back in return, as it’s only fair. Like Nessa, she has a large portfolio of pics she’s both snapped and received of you.

Anyways, Klara posts shit like “I love doing wifey shit for my girlfriend <3” while burning down the kitchen trying to make you scrambled eggs.

I also originally wasn’t going to write anything for Peonia but I had a change of heart because, after thinking of it, I couldn’t not write embarrassingly supportive supreme dad-of-the-year Peony hyping her up.

Peonia’s biggest mistake in life was coming out to her dad, because the man is simply too supportive. The moment she tells him this vital information, he is searching every store and market for all of the lesbian flags he can find. She has an entire pile of them in her room because she literally doesn’t have any space on the walls to hang them on. He also sews smaller ones onto her clothes and jackets upon being asked to do so,

If he ever sees her talking to another girl, he’ll ask about her afterwards. He just needs to know if she’s into this new person he’s never met before. Peonia always tells him off in an attempt to subdue her embarrassment. Thankfully, he at least waits until the other girl leaves, or else she would literally combust.

That being said, don’t think you can date Peonia without Peony putting up an overprotective fight. At the end of the day, that’s his baby. His darling. His pride and joy. Sure, she’s grown up and is more than capable of making her own choices in life, including her choice in romantic partner, but he’s still her father. He just needs to make sure you have her best interest in mind, then he’ll back off.

But once you’ve gotten past the over-protective dad phase, you get yourself a new father figure. He’ll come to think of you as one of his own. He’ll also provide you with plenty of embarrassing childhood stories. At some point, he’ll start referring to you as his daughter-in-law. Every minute you spend talking with him makes Peonia rip her hair out. Again, Peonia is happy that her dad is supportive of her sexuality and your relationship, but she’s also on the verge of dying from embarrassment.

Even though she is incredibly embarrassed by her father’s antics, she can be super supportive and exciting when it comes to doing anything with you. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and when she realizes how she acts similarly to her father when it comes to spending time with you, she dies a little inside.

Enough about dad. Please go with her on Dynamax Adventures. Not only does she have a blast with them, but she can show off how cool and strong she is as a trainer. Please swoon over her and how cool and brave she is, being as dramatic as humanly possible. RIP to your teammates who are forced to third-wheel on the adventure, but at least Peonia is having fun.

Also, please help dye her hair. The pink looks great but it was a pain to do by herself, and she’s too embarrassed to ask her dad for help. Besides, it means you get to hang out and she gets your input on what color to use. 

[littl3-r0zes]

Agere Stranger Things Headcanons

Steve, Robin, and Eddie edition part two! Because I was writing the first one and then got that notification about not being able to save it and realized I was talking too much

Steve absolutely LOVES angel milk (the honey + vanilla variant) in a bottle - Robin often uses her little gear at Steve's house even while not little just because she likes it - Steve speaks in that classic "I don' wan' do 'at" kinda tone with a big lisp and shortened words and missed hard consonants, but Robin sounds like a pretty normal kid - Meaning she has the absolute worst volume control. She's either mumbling or absolutely yelling and there's no in between /hj - Steve is really good at snapping between headspaces. If he's regressing and someone who is not meant to know shows up, he's big in an instant, then back to little again when they're gone - Robin and Eddie are not. Robin can act big, but she doesn't become big, and Eddie can't act or be big on command at all. - Robin loves chocolate milk and orange juice, and she hates eggs - This is exclusive to being regressed. She actually hates chocolate milk while big because she doesn't like the texture, same with eggs - Eddie started working out and going on runs with Steve so he could be able to pick them up for a few minutes at a time - The first time he gave Robin a piggy back ride she was squealing with joy - Robin often has her hair up in teeny tiny half-up pigtails with those sparkly poofy tinsel-like hairties - She's convinced Steve and Eddie to do this too - Eddie really likes talking while little, and often gets upset if he gets interrupted or who he's talking to doesn't seem interested - This is hard because quite often he's really hard to understand, both because of his child lisp and because of how fast he's talking - Because Steve's parents are so rarely home, he just straight up has turned one of the guest rooms into Robin's room, and it has most of their little gear in it - He locks it when she isn't there, but she has the key and his parents don't because he changed the doorknob. Just in case. - Eddie spent two hours putting a false back into two of his cabinets for them to store bottles, sippy cups, and other agere dishware, also just in case. - Steve didn't ask him to do this - Robin hates self care while little, especially brushing her teeth - Steve and Eddie often have to either turn it into a game, or when that fails, just sit there and hold her hand while she does and cries. The whole nine yards, snot, tears, hiccupping, everything. full on kid crying over brushing her teeth - Steve absolutely loves getting his hair washed. Especially when Eddie does it, because he has the longest nails out of the three of them and they feel really good scratching his scalp - Eddie hates getting baths, and would rather be a filthy mess than get bathed by someone. He thinks it's super embarrassing - Robin loves the woods while little, but she almost got eaten by a coyote one time and was banned from going outside without supervision afterward - Steve, for some reason none of them can explain, can not swim while regressed. They found this out the hard way - Robin is even more uncoordinated somehow. She gets so many bruises when regressed, especially when she's still getting used to Steve's house - Steve, unlike while big, is not a silent crier. He has massive tantrums. Eddie and Robin, on the other hand, are often quiet. Robin is only loud when she's upset over something mild, if it's serious she gets really quiet. - Robin talks a mile a minute, and even though she's usually the most articulated out of the three of them, nobody has a single clue what she's saying when she really gets going

[lurkingshan]

Be My Favorite and Accepting the Things We Cannot Change

Several weeks back, @shortpplfedup posited that Be My Favorite’s core theme really comes down to the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  The courage to change the things I cannot accept,  And the wisdom to know the difference

Having now seen the finale and the full arc of the show, I have to declare her the most correct of clowns, because she nailed it. This finale was all about Pisaeng’s journey to accepting that he can’t control the outcome of Kawi’s illness in the future, and that ultimately, he doesn’t want to change the beautiful life they’ve had together on the off chance it might make a difference. 

I love the way this played out in the new temporary present (I am going to miss finding awkward ways to accurately describe what timeline we are in). When Pisaeng travels back in time to the night before they went to the amusement park, Kawi clocks it immediately, but waits for Pisaeng to fess up that he had time traveled back from the future, and why. Once everything is out in the open, we see a sense of calm come over Kawi as he begins gently guiding Pisaeng to what he has already learned: they can’t control it, and the best thing they can do is commit to enjoying the life they have together here and now. And so Kawi and Pisaeng put a pin in it and have a great day together at the amusement park, reveling in each other’s company and committing to the joy of being in each others’ presence. At the end of the day, Pisaeng admits that even though he’s scared, he wouldn’t want to change anything about their life together or risk losing what they have for the off chance that it could lead to a better outcome, and he goes back home to the uncertain future so he and his future Kawi can face it together, hand in hand. 

I absolutely loved the melancholy undertone to these first three parts of the episode and the poignancy of this message. While Pisaeng struggled, Kawi’s character growth was on full display as he settled into the wisdom he has earned over many timelines and failed attempts to control things he now knows he cannot change. Once he was the one on the outside of the time travel dilemma, he reached full clarity on how futile it all was, and how little would be accomplished by attempting to engineer a different trajectory that might save his life at the expense of his relationship with Pisaeng. And he has achieved a measure of peace and reached a level of confidence and comfort with Pisaeng that enabled him to guide his partner to the same conclusion. It was lovely to see, and felt very well earned. The themes in this section of the episode were so strong that they actually had me thinking they might go there and not give Kawi an explicit recovery and happily ever after. But they quickly changed tack once Pisaeng traveled back to the future in the final part of the episode.

Now, here is the part where I admit that I would have preferred a more nuanced final act rather than Kawi suddenly waking up fine and everything being peaceful from there. There was an opportunity here for a more thematically resonant ending, and the show chose to steer away from it to give us a standard joyful bl epilogue. An ending where Kawi does not fully recover or where his fate is left more open-ended would have really made the poignancy of their choice to stop trying to change things land more firmly. Something more in the mode of Bad Buddy’s somewhat happy ending with a bittersweet edge would have also felt right. That said, this is a bl drama and I can’t really be surprised that it stuck with genre conventions. It was a lovely ending for Kawi and Pisaeng and it was very nice to see them happy together after all the turmoil.

So where did I land on this show overall? I really liked it, and given that I came in with such low expectations, the fact that it ended up being a show I consistently looked forward to week after week is no small thing. This drama gave me a lot to think about and inspired such wonderful discussions with friends, not to mention more clown theories than I could ever hope to track. It also gave me the opportunity to see both Gawin and Krist in a new light—I was really impressed with both of them in this drama and I hope to see Gawin especially continuing to get lead roles. 

I don’t think this drama was perfect, however. At the time episode 10 aired I had some issues with the resolutions it put forward for the main timeline, and those criticisms stand. I wish it had done more with all the meaty stuff it set up with queer politics, Pisaeng’s mom’s hypocrisy in positioning herself as a queer ally while forcing her own son into the closet, and Max’s role as a queer activist who was her fan. There was so much story potential there, but it seems the show just had other priorities. And I’m still not entirely sure what the point of the Not/Kwan subplot was, given that they didn’t really do anything with it in the final arc of the show. I guess I will just settle for thanking the universe that Pear was marrying a very nice looking man who was not Not (lol) in the finale and be grateful they didn’t subject me to a redemption arc for that mean little man.

As always, it has been an honor clowning with you all, and I’m pleased that we’re ending Be My Favorite on such a good note. Shouts to @waitmyturtles @bengiyo, @thegalwhorants, @twig-tea and @rocketturtle4 for talking through a lot of my reactions to this show with me. On to the next! 

[mattnben-bennmatt]

Ben Affleck's interview w/ Premiere (2000)

Adventures in the Celebrity Trade

In which the author faces a dread beast of epic proportions (his own alter ego), perils that would destroy a lesser man (e.g., worldwide fame), and uncouth fans, all whilst shamelessly promoting his new movie

By Ben Affleck | Photography by Sam Jones

Oscar Winner Affleck talks to himself about the hazards of fame, the art of publicity, and why you should see his new movie.

-

I'm promoting my movie. in doing so, it is incumbent on me to do an interview for a movie magazine. I've asked the good people at PREMIERE to let me contribute an article rather than be interviewed, in an effort at a little break from the norm. I've run the first draft past the studio whose movie I'm hawking, and they were kind enough to give me some feedback. In general, I believe they found my pithy little attempt at a first-person description of what it's like to actually do publicity and my own idiosyncratic deconstruction of said process mildly amusing. But they had some notes. With those in mind, let me say this: Every man, woman, and child on this earth must drop everything and run to their local multiplex to see Reindeer Games. Well, there might be a title change in the works, so maybe it won't be called Reindeer Games, but pay that no heed! Whatever the marketing folks decide to call the movie, it is absolutely imperative that you see it immediately, two or three times if need be. Watching this movie will make you smarter, more successful, and a (much) better lover. I implore you, for your own sake, pay to see this movie. It is, quite simply, the single greatest dramatic narrative of the modern era.

Now, on to the irrelevant part.

I. A DRIVE-BY

"Affleck, you suck!" was all I made out as a full can of beer sailed by, inches from my head. I believe that was the precise moment I knew things had changed.

It was a drive-by beer-canning—a little-publicized-but-all-too-real hazard for the working actor in L.A. It was June of 1997, somewhere around midnight. I was coming out of a record store on Sunset Strip, and in retrospect, I guess I should have seen it coming.

I hadn't been subject to public stoning by Budweiser since my high school days, in Boston. I remember thinking that in this new context, it was a fairly artless, albeit effective, form of what in acting class we used to call "a critique of the work." That was the first day it occurred to me that there is a side of fame that might be unpleasant. It was a peculiar induction—one Jason Patric has aptly characterized as "baptism by flashbulb"—to a strange club whose membership requirements are simple: People you've never met, seen, or spoken to develop opinions (occasionally quite negative and almost always judgmental) about you, your work, and whether or not you "suck." Though my holy water was alcoholic and carbonated and gunned at me by strangers, I suddenly had an affinity for how Mr. Patric must have felt.

Before Good Will Hunting and Armageddon, I did quite a few movies, but nobody saw them. In fact, the entertainment press corps in general seemed aggressively disinterested. When I went to Atlanta to promote Chasing Amy, I clearly remember that the few journalists who showed up to interview me seemed bored (with me), dejected (at having such a low-rent assignment), and desperate (during the actual interview) for a reason—any reason—to write anything. Later, the movie became a minor cult hit, and occasionally I would be confronted by a stranger or two (oddly, these interactions also tended to happen in record stores). But instead of berating me, these guys usually wanted to know, "Did you really nail that girl?" "Was she really a dyke?" and "Do you have her number?" While deeply flattering, these rare interactions didn't prepare me in the least for what I was to face down the road.

That night, I wondered if perhaps this was something that even the great ones have had to endure, but I could never quite convince myself that there was some rangy teenager standing outside Brando's house, hectoring the deaf masonry with the likes of "Why'd you pimp Kabuki-style gear in Moreau?!" Surely there is a point at which one is accorded some space, respect, and privacy. I just wasn't there yet.

The gangly kid's harangue at a thespian about his play is a fair confusion of character and actor. But the words and pictures that provoked the beer-flinger were not of a character in a film; they were representations of me in the press-specifically the tabloid press, coverage in which I had taken no part. So I decided to become the captain of my own destiny, or at least of my own image. I decided to stop avoiding or passively enduring press coverage; instead, I would start a conversation with the public by engaging the press, thus having control over the words and images representing me.

This was, to put it mildly, a blunder. I had underrated the forces at play in the creation of celebrity media and overrated my own ability to withstand and control them. As if that weren't bad enough, I also discovered that I was my own worst enemy.

It wasn't until my third or fourth interview was published that I began to suspect something. I would run into people who know me fairly well (like my mom) and they'd fix me with an uncertain and dubious stare. I began to anticipate the inevitable: "I read your thing in [insert name of rag here] . . ." Then their voices would trail off. I knew the sentiment. I'd experienced it before. Earlier in my career I'd get that. People would say, "Hey, I saw Phantoms. . . ." Though I understood the comment in the context of a movie where I played a sheriff in Colorado battling an ill-defined but vaguely menacing sewer monster, I didn't see the connection with the interviews. But when I asked my girlfriend what she thought about the mixed reviews I seemed to be getting, she let me have it. "I don't even recognize that person." "Who?" I lamely asked. "The guy in that interview, in any of your interviews . . . Interview Guy."

Sonofabitch. Interview Guy.

What I found when I read back over my own inanities was as phony a frat-boy-chucklehead as you're ever likely to encounter—and someone who, I hope, bears little resemblance to the guy typing out these words. Somehow I'd inadvertently given birth to a monster. Interview Guy liked to come off as a cross between a pseudo-intellectual college sophomore who'd just read his first chapter of Proust, a drunken motorcycle fanatic, and an all-around, aw-shucks-can-you-believe-I'm-just-a-regular-Joe ham bone.

The idea here is to set this gruesome record straight. I'll bring Interview Guy face-to-face with myself. The transparent difference will dissolve Interview Guy; the remaining image will be me. Either that or it'll be another in a long series of publicity disasters. At this point, I don't have much to lose.

II. INTERVIEW GUY

INT. MY HOUSE-DAY: INTERVIEW GUY, 27, bearing a striking resemblance to Ben Affleck, but wearing Prada stretch plastic trousers, comes running into the room with a beer. He does a handstand, slams his beer, and slouches into the sofa. Ben Affleck, a.k.a. ACTUAL BEN, sits across from him. Actual Ben is not nearly as good-looking as Interview Guy and seems a little taken aback.

INTERVIEW GUY: I take Viagra and I think the kids should try it at home, the little ones! [Interview Guy runs around the room twice, then heads outside. After a beat, he comes crashing back through the door on a motorcycle. He wipes out.]

INTERVIEW GUY: (Cont'd) [Re: motorcycle] I'll get another one. [Re: nothing in particular] Acting is a journey, right bro?

ACTUAL BEN: Not really. Most of the time it seems like a gigantic press junket, where I talk about my "arc" and decry the invasive nature of the press in my life—then go and have my woes translated into Korean and beamed via satellite to Asia. [A beat]

[There is another awkward beat.]

ACTUAL BEN: (Cont'd) Are you unable to smile or behave normally when having your picture taken? I mean, do you have a particular aversion to looking normal, or are you satisfying some innate urge to look like an idiot?

INTERVIEW GUY: Hey, man, I'm just a regl'r guy who likes to have fun-

ACTUAL BEN: Also, in your photographs you seem to clench your jaw, squint your eyes, and suck in your cheeks. Is something wrong with you physically? Do you have TMJ?

INTERVIEW GUY: [Flushing red] I . . . That's my strong, leading-man jawline and laser intensity coming through. . . . I can't help that! That's not on purpose. . . .

ACTUAL BEN: This isn't going anywhere; let's go to the questions. . . .

[Ed Note: During this segment of the interview, both Interview Guy and Actual Ben have agreed to answer a list of prepared questions. A tape recorder was placed in the room, and the following is a verbatim transcript of their answers.]

QUESTION: What is your favorite magazine?

INTERVIEW GUY: Maxim . . . no PREMIERE! This is for PREMIERE, right?

ACTUAL BEN: I don't have a favorite.

QUESTION: Who is your favorite actor?

INTERVIEW GUY: Arnold, Sly, your mom . . . just playin', guy. . . .

ACTUAL BEN: Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Benicio Del Toro, Sean Penn, Meryl Streep, Cole Hauser, Casey Affleck, Jay Lacopo, Vince Vaughn, Joaquin Phoenix, Don Cheadle, the brothers Wilson, Ed Norton, Nicolas Cage, Robert De Niro, Marlon Brando, Zeljko Ivanek, Dennis Franz, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, Frances McDormand—there are really a ton of actors I think are great and whom I admire. And I honestly believe after seeing The Talented Mr. Ripley and All the Pretty Horses that Matt Damon is one of, if not the, finest young actor around.

INTERVIEW GUY: That Ripley thing, that's a gay picture, right?

ACTUAL BEN: Well, no, it's not. . . .

QUESTION: In the wake of the massacre at Columbine High School, there has been greater scrutiny on the level of senseless and gratuitous violence in movies. What role do you think movie violence plays in influencing real people, and what is the responsibility of filmmakers and actors?

INTERVIEW GUY: I'm so sick of that question. Some idiot kid who played too much Mortal Kombat and can't get a girlfriend decides to shoot up his school . . . that's not Sylvester Stallone's fault for making Cobra. The guy was trying to make a kickass Marion Cobretti biker picture. Forget about teaching masturbation in schools; they ought to hand out twenty bucks and a map to Korea town. You get yourself a little massage-parloring down there, you feel a lot less inclined to blow up your lunchroom!

ACTUAL BEN: I disagree.

INTERVIEW GUY: 'Course you disagree; you smoke cock.

ACTUAL BEN: No, I don't "smoke cock," I just think there is some responsibility to be had by those of us who have some impact over the content of movies and how violence is presented. Doubtless, there is blame aplenty to go around. But the exploitation of mindless violence for the sake of titillation, without any attention paid to the genuine trauma that real violence does cause, is irresponsible.

QUESTION: What qualities and/or attributes do you find attractive in a woman? What would your "ideal woman" be like?

ACTUAL BEN: I can't say I have any one "type." I have dated and been attracted to all kinds of women. I tend to be able to look past first impressions and am usually attracted to a woman whom I like and want to be around. No matter how "hot" some woman is, I'd find her very unattractive if I couldn't stand to have a conversation with her.

INTERVIEW GUY: You done, Jake-O? Okay. That's bullshit. Everybody goes by appearances. I got nothing against the homely broad, I just don't care to give her a jump, you follow me? As far as what type of chick I most like, I'd say I'm your basic, red-blooded, Claudia Schiffer-Pam Anderson type of guy. And, you know, her beaver doesn't have to be shaved but . . . I don't mind it!

[Ed. Note: There is a five-minute segment of the tape where Interview Guy runs around the room, high-fiving no one in particular and repeating porn dialogue to the tune of the theme song from Martin. Finally, he cracks open a beer and sits back down.]

QUESTION: Are movies important?

INTERVIEW GUY: I think they can be. You go see Anaconda and you know you can't take a river trip with Owen Wilson, a rapper, and the guy from Deliverance, 'cause it's gonna end badly. So that's a public-health message, in a way. Fuck, come to think of it, that was the second bad rafting experience for Jon Voight. There's a fucker you really don't want on your Outward Bound crew. . . .

ACTUAL BEN: No.

QUESTION: Can you define your relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow?

INTERVIEW GUY: Well, she's my friend. She's very smart, very sweet, really just a good, decent person, and someone I both respect and admire. She's also a dynamite actress. As it happens, we just did a movie together called Bounce, which will be out in summer 2000 at a theater near you.

[Ed. Note: At this point there is a second lengthy pause on the tape and sounds of a struggle. Then nothing. It's the Blair Witch of Books on Tape. . . .]

III. BEING SEAN PENN

There's a reason that the National Enquirer has the highest circulation of any paper in the country. People like it. And people like it because, despite what most actors tend to imagine the general public is fascinated by (i.e., every subtlety and nuance of their latest performance), it concerns that very thing that drives most people to the movies in the first place: sex. And not just sex but gossip-who is having it with whom, who's been jilted, who gets the kids, who's getting above their station, who threw a fit on their show and fired a bunch of people. All of it. The movie business has become a kind of ongoing soap opera. The same characters move from one story to another, augmented by bits of background titillation from newspapers and magazines, and people go to see how the latest installment in the Schwarzenegger serial will turn out. Therefore, it should be no surprise to actors that their private lives seem inexorably entwined with whatever perception people have of their performances, and vice versa. In fact, that gossip, that tabloid fodder, is an organic part of the perceptions people have when they go to the movies.

The majority of famous actors are not famous because of roles they've played. The random passerby, when asked, will tell you they've heard of a particular actor but will have difficulty naming more than one or two movies he's been in. What people do see, far more than the movies, are the television shows and magazines in which actors promote their films. This creates a strange dynamic, where celebrity becomes the goal, publicity the means, and the actual work takes a distant backseat.

If one takes for granted that the goal of an actor is to assume the identity of another person, then doing publicity as oneself seems absolutely the wrong thing to do. The less people know about you, the less apt they are to project some preconception onto your performance. There are actors who seem to understand this conundrum and have managed to deal with it in a sensible way.

There are powerful forces at work that compel an actor, after appearing in a movie or two, to whore out every last detail of their gonorrhea treatments, incestuous experiments with grandma, shock therapy, and the time they had one too many and got a five-dollar hand job in T.J. And later the same bunch that threw you to the press will tell you not to give so much away. You can't win.

So what, then, is the lesson? I really don't know. You can lie to the press (my brother, Casey, once told Interview magazine that he had a Ph.D. in eugenics from Columbia), you can bullshit a little (whereupon your friends from home tell you you've changed and you're full of shit, and you're mom is ashamed of you), you can go ahead and talk about the "touching game" you played with Uncle Ted (and then your mom really is ashamed of you). Or you can go the route of the dignified and be Sean Penn. Just watch out for the backlash—it gets ugly.

Whenever I've run this theory past the cocktail-party crowd, the response is always a Pollyannaish "What's wrong with the truth?" Or "Just be yourself!" Now, while that may be sound and novel advice, in this case it misses the mark, for two reasons. First, after you've had to distort and misrepresent yourself for every producer in town (e.g., like the time you had to pluck every emotional chord you've got to muster up some semblance of passion for your Beverly Hills 90210 crying-scene audition), you hardly know who or what the real you is anymore. Second, no one really wants to "be themselves" in public. We are reluctant to expose ourselves even to friends, much less to a jaded public with an eye for scandal and an unquenchable thirst for hubris and its attendant fall. So I, like every other sensible person thrust into (or thrusting themselves toward) the glare of the public eye, tried to project an improved version of myself. Big mistake.

Before anyone imagines that this is some kind of lamentation of a great evil in the world, let me say this: Any actor who has had any success whatsoever ought to count his lucky stars that he turns over enough bread for the Enquirer to even consider including him on the "worst dressed" list. Clearly, successful actors (and particularly those who, even for a fleeting moment, are anointed "movie stars") enjoy wealth, power, and privilege wildly beyond their station. We should take what we get and like it—I don't contest that. I do, however, find the situation of "promoting" myself and my movies curious and contradictory.

But in the end, it is probably not worth deconstructing. It's a pretty straightforward thing: Talk to somebody, brag on your movie some, and hope that a few more people go to see it because they're intrigued with what they've read. And, hey, maybe they've gotten to know the actor a little better. In that spirit, let me end where I began: Who I am, and why you should see my movie.

I'm somebody who probably has too many mirrors in his house, but doesn't much like what he sees when he looks into them. I try to be generous, try to be kind, and try to remember how lucky I've been, but I've been known to fall short in all three regards. As far as fame and fortune go, I generally believe one should understand that none of it is deserved, but try to take as much advantage of it as one can in good conscience. I like quiet and the idea of rest, but can't seem to stop moving. I like people (as someone once said), but I hate gatherings. I try to expose myself to diversity, change, and new experiences, but when alone in my car, I end up listening to the same song over and over on the CD player. I know that fame and fortune are fleeting (as Matt recently said in GQ, "the phone stopped ringing for better actors than me"), but I can't help hoping that I can do this forever. I believe in the friends and family I've known since childhood, but I've already lost touch with too many. I love company and the security of love, but most days I feel alone. If I had to choose between being held in high regard by those in the movie business or esteemed by those around me whom I admire, respect, and have known through thick and thin, I'll opt for the latter: a life where people still talk to you even if the phone rings only occasionally, and where your friends don't mind if you haven't made it onto the cover of a flashy movie magazine in quite some time. Oh: And go see the movie I made with John Frankenheimer. It's pretty good.

Ben Affleck, actor and Oscar-winning writer (Good Will Hunting), blew his deadline but only misspelled two words in this piece.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Nineteen

We decide to pack up and leave the beach just a few days after the festival. Neither Claire nor I can stand to be in the mobile home anymore since Kelly’s turned it into an unlivable place. As I fold my clothes away and pack up my books I wonder how I ever stayed here, it’s pokey and old, and smells of stale cigarettes, an environment made even more unpleasant by the dark, heavy presence of another person who outwardly hates me stalking around, waiting until I leave the kitchen to go and make herself a cup of tea. We never discuss the festival, and I don’t expect her to ask about it, but I kind of did expect her to at least acknowledge us when we came home on Monday. 

Claire ran into her once on her way out to the bins, she was sitting on the steps painting her toenails, and it was just a couple of days after we’d returned so she tried to confront her, saying that she never wished her a happy birthday. 

“Oh, just fuck off, would you?” Kelly had said. “We’re not friends anymore.” So that was that. I assume the sentiment applies to me too, so I never seek her out for a chat, and I go on for days avoiding her, ignoring her with a horrible, guilty feeling in my stomach that only serves to make me feel more awful than I already do. 

We can’t think of anything worse than driving back to Tullamore with her in the car, so Claire ends up calling her dad, who comes sweeping down the country in his big black BMW to collect us. It’s nearing the butt-end of August now, and the slow wind down of the summer makes me melancholic. The evenings are slowly drawing in again, and the leaves on the trees have lost their brilliant, luminous green of June. Everything is starting to look rustier, burnt around the edges, and I know that in a month the air will be cold again, and yellow leaves will rustle through the village. Bigger, angrier waves will crash against the shore in place of the peaceful, sparkling waters that I see now on the horizon. I stand on the deck on my last evening at the mobile and look out over the beach, knowing that I might never see this beach in autumn. I might never come back here again, eat ice cream from the surf shack, swim in the balmy, green water. 

Barry, Claire’s dad, who always wears suit trousers even as casual dress, gives her a big hug when he arrives, his gleaming, cosmopolitan car looking out of place pulled up onto the grass outside the Healy’s fusty mobile. “How was your summer, love?” He asks her in his booming, business man voice. 

“Oh it was grand.” She says. “I’ll tell you all about it later.” She stands back and beams at him. She loves her father, and they’re alike too. The same nose, eyes, and dirty blonde hair, even though hers has been dyed platinum for years now. I watch them as I sit on the steps biting my nails. He would do absolutely anything for her. Everybody would, she’s just one of those perfect girls. 

“How did you get on in Menorca?” She asks him then, and I listen to them talk about her father’s luxurious trip to the Baleriacs for about three seconds before I get antsy and start hauling our bags into his boot. I know Kelly isn’t going to come outside and try to talk to us or anything, but at this point even being in proximity to her is making me anxious. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want this trip to be over, and I want to go home. 

After we’ve finally piled into the car, we pull away from the mobile. I keep watching the blinds to see if they twitch, some sign that Kelly is watching us, or that she cares at all that we’re leaving without a goodbye, but there’s no sign of life. I think I’d prefer a fight to a freeze-out. This just feels unfinished. 

As we cruise up the narrow coastal roads we pass a road sign with a big smiling sun on it that’s saying goodbye in five languages. I glance out the back window and look back at the beach, the flip-flopped army zipping back and forth over the footpaths, enjoying their last days here and acting like they won’t be propelled back into the grey banality of their September to May lives within mere days, acting like they don’t have any dread inside them at all, but I know they do. They must. It can’t be only me. 

I slump back on the leather seat as soon as the village is out of sight and stare out the window ahead to the vast expanse of motorway in front of us. Claire and her dad are so busy talking that I know they won’t turn around and see me, so I let my defences down for a second, and a tear brims over and spills down my cheek. I still haven’t felt much of anything but a dull, aching sadness ever since we rolled up our tents and left the campground, and all I can do is keep replaying my conversation with Jude over and over in my head, remembering all the nice things he said to me, and then I can’t help but remember the hard things too, but everything makes me sad. I don’t really sleep well, and I don’t feel hungry enough to eat that much. My week has consisted of just this: moping around in my room and periodically crying into my pillow. I haven’t gone for a swim once. 

I haven’t heard a word from him since I last saw him, nor have I tried to text him, because I don’t know what to say. Maybe he doesn’t want goodbyes, maybe he just wants to disappear and I should give him the space to do that. I’m convinced he has more important people to spend time with, with the clock  running out and the date approaching so quickly. It’s Thursday now. He flies out next Wednesday. The 25th. 

I quietly scold myself for acting stupidly. You can’t be upset about losing a person that you never had. He was never mine to lose, I should be driving away from my holidays thinking about how much I enjoyed all the things I did, the people I met, and have a huge, dopey smile on my face, wishing him well with the rest of his life, but I can’t do that. My insides feel twisted and rotten, my chest tight and my eyes are stinging with tears. 

We get back to Tullamore after two and a half hours, and by then I just feel like a husk. I’ve thought about Jude so much that I’m tired of thinking, like my brain has been doing strenuous pushups for ages, or like there’s an elastic band inside it that’s worn loose and saggy. Claire’s dad is really nice and brings me right up to my front door, and then takes all my bags out of the boot. I thank him and compose a smile on my face so I can wave goodbye to my friend. 

“I’ll see you next week, won’t I?” she calls out the window. “Are you coming to the hotel at Shane’s debs and get some photos with me?”

I nod, not really understanding why people want to do things like stand outside a hotel awkwardly while their friends go to the debs. It sounds boring, but I’ll do it for Claire, and then probably think about how I’m not going to any debs at all and feel somehow worse about myself than I already do. 

“And then induction in school on Friday.” She says, holding finger guns to her temple and pulling the imaginary trigger.

“Yeah, can’t wait for that.” I drawl. 

Her dad starts the car and she blows me a quick kiss. “Okay, see you soon babe!” 

They pull away from the footpath and I gather up my bags and bring them up the path towards my house. There’s so many. I don’t remember leaving this same house with this amount of stuff, but I can’t even think of what I bought.

My mam opens the door before I can, and she stands there with a look of delight on her face. The house smells like apple crumble, which I’d usually run and stuff my face with, but today the idea of that makes my stomach turn. I come inside and she gives me a huge, warm hug. “Welcome home, Evie! We missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

 “Tell me, how was your summer with the girls?”

I try to tell her that it was good, and that we had lots of fun and went swimming all the time, and that the weather was so fine! We even went to a music festival for Claire’s birthday and I heard so many new bands, and actually, I think I might save up and buy an iPod Touch, but of course, I can’t say any of that. I open my mouth and unleash a rack of sobs instead, dropping all my bags onto the floor with a loud thud. She makes a concerned sound, but doesn’t ask, she just rocks me in her arms and lets me cry it out like an infant for a full half an hour, the door swinging open behind me. 

Prev // Next

[catchyhuh]

i bet you were insufferable as a child

and since we know this about lupin and jigen for a fact we’re actually just gonna focus on the other three for now! yippee!! the "tms forgot i exist" special lineup!

fujiko:

i know she was a weird girl. i KNOW this bitch had a gigantic bookshelf filled with all the standard cute, girly beginner chapter books, but also those big fucking scholastic book fair pretend spy kits and shit. i don’t think she was ever the “play in the dirt and come home covered in grass stains and mud” type of kid, mostly because it just felt gross to her, but i DO think she was completely unhinged in an indoors sense. the kind of child who just starts talking your ear off acting like they know everything there is to know about frogs because they read one book so OBVIOUSLY they know ALL about FROGS!! 

absolutely adored those cheap horrible nail polish sets where the brush is the size of a q-tip swab. she also chewed on her nails though, so imagine the standard tiny hand with thin, watery, glittery purple polish on just the roundest, bluntest nails possible. that same hand is also thinking really hard about how to best pocket your coin purse though so like,

i think she had siblings. she was in the perfect spot where she wasn’t in the league with the older, more achieved kids, but wasn’t young enough to be babied and spoiled like the little ones. which takes quite a strange toll on you growing up. it’s why her demeanor now tends to go between taking advantage of the fact a lot of people don’t expect anything from her, to “why are you ignoring me?! what’s that about!!”

fujiko def developed her evil selfgaining tendencies before she even left the fifth grade. if you think she’s difficult to bargain with NOW, imagine what she was like in middle school when [pogs/pokemon cards/silly bandz/insert era appropriate cafeteria currency here] was big. she went through the school system curating personal black markets. it would be impressive if she wasn’t so terrifyingly cutthroat about it

in the nicest way possible, if the stars had aligned, and by some miracle all five of them were the same exact age and met in kindergarten, she… would not have been friends with any of them. well, partially. there’s a very sharp gender divide when you’re first starting school, so i think she kind of “made friends” with nice enough girls, but she absolutely thought lupin was obnoxious, she thought goemon didn’t like her because he rarely spoke to her, jigen thought it was hilarious to antagonize her, and zenigata was just kind of whatever, like he wasn’t a jerk, but he wasn’t exceedingly nice. like he gave her a colored pencil to borrow and that was the extent of that. at best, if goemon was forced to really socialize, she and goemon would get along well enough, but that’s also because she’s bossy as HELL and goemon just goes along with whatever, even now, so ESPECIALLY back when he was an impressionable child!

goemon:

god. you know the kid that sits on the edge of the playground that the teachers all go “aw, bless his heart. just a little old soul.” poor baby goemon

i don’t really think there was as much pressure on goemon to live up to his legacy the way there was for lupin. i’ve mentioned it before, but goemon’s relationship with the original goemon is very different from lup’s relationship with his grandpa, or even dad, and it’s not just because of the time gap. goemon CHOSE to emulate his nakesake’s abilities and talents, where lupin kind of had no choice. and because of this, goemon’s transition into his current lifestyle was much more gradual. i’d say he probably only started making an effort to BE “goemonlike” when he reached his mid-to-late teens. i know hes like 17 in the og manga so if any of this contradicts that Shh no it doesn’t

his quietness wasn’t entirely the result of being shy either. he just didn’t really know what to say at most points? he was (and still is) pretty blunt, and realized pretty quickly and very naturally that people outside of his immediate family didn’t know what to make of him when he answered rhetorical questions completely honestly and sincerely. so he kinda just. retreated inward a bit. he started to get a bit more talkative as he grew, but then he committed to his training and learned the importance of “meaning every word you say” so then he started getting quiet AGAIN

you would think he would be the easiest kid to look after. uh no. even in a pre-slashy slashy era he’s very naturally destructive, which is insane given how tenderly he treats certain stuff within the house. you go “ok goemon this is my dog’s favorite food bowl. it belonged to HER mom so that’s very old for dogs.” and he gives you this exceedingly serious nod and uses both hands to slowly set it down on the ground for the dog to eat out of. but then you go “goemon is that your great great great grandfather’s handmade teapot?” and he goes “is it?” and just in the process of him setting it on the counter it has shattered in two. little man is devastated but hey nobody was drinking out of that thing anyway so just krazy glue that fucker and the tears will subside

zenigata:

is there anything at all funnier than an angry 6yo. yeah. an angry 2yo. and even funnier than that, an angry infant. he didn’t even have anything to actually be pissed about, that’s just naturally how his eyebrows sit and HAVE been his entire life. i would give up my pinky just to see even a glimpse of the absolute comedy jackpot known as his baby pictures

not a revolutionary take by any means but he was definitely the “YOU CAN’T DO THAT WE’RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE!!” kid. however he was absolutely not even REMOTELY the “didn’t we have homework?” kid because you know damn well he never remembered to do that shit. unless he knew a kid he didn’t like ALSO didn’t do the homework, then yeah, he’d absolutely go down with the ship just to get back at the little bastard. 

in that same vein he would absolutely be the easiest to babysit. “but his demeanor--” shh you are thinking too far ahead. this guy has no obligations. this guy has personal beef with like two random kids in his neighborhood. he has yet to grow a taste for calling superiors idiots who don’t know what they’re talking about. so as long as you actually tell him in plain terms “please do x” or “don’t do y because z” he’ll be fine. you tell this kid to set the table and he’s tripping over his feet putting the spoons and forks in the wrong places. also you’re just having chicken nuggets so i don’t even know why he did that. he didn’t grab plates.

do not mistake the above for him being a “good” kid because this just means he was unfortunately one of those horrible kids who are very polite in front of certain people and absolute monsters in front of those he doesn’t like. does that sound contradictory to the above bullet points? that’s just how children are. he was not a bully at any point in his life but he was so extreme with his ANTI bullying shit that he ended up in the principal’s office just as much, covered in bruises and star wars bandaids. all throughout his school years. he was still doing this shit in high school he’d overhear somebody being a douchebag and just push them off the bleachers. let ‘em fall 10 feet it builds character.

[vampire-lord-garfield]

Yeah, fuck Kuro season 2 demon non-existant relationships. I'm writing a fic and rewriting all their backstories. Some, but not all of the ideas im gonna put/already put in it, so let me know if they suck or whatever: - Hannah and Claude met in Hell. Despite their fundamental differences they created a symbiotic partnership to survive literal hellhole. (not eagerly, more like work together or die horribly situation) - They are not together and never will be involved romantically. But they are platonically married. And with time even dumbass like Claude has to admit that they are friends. - Claude's eyes (all 8 of them in true form) were severely injured in a fight prior, rendering him basically blind. - Hannah acts as his eyes (transferring her vision to him with magic) and also lures other demons into his webs. They share their pray. Before meeting each-other they were both on the brink of starvation. - All demons are cannibals in hell. It's literally like a deep sea situation. Everything is dark, nothing grows and the only way to survive is to eat someone, before someone eats you. (human soles are off limit, they physically can't eat something already dead.) - Claude being a cold fucker, saying "survival of the fittest" is fair, Hannah gets to a lil bit change his mined by offering to kill him right there and then, cause without her, this blinded spider would be long dead. - I'm actually gonna give Hannah some ideology and say she believes that demons deserve to have a meaningful life with emotions and bonds. She also has had a lot of beef with angels in the past. - The demon sword is hers, she uses it frequently in the fights (no, Claude doesn't get his eight grabby hands on in). - It's Hannah's idea to take in three teenage demons (the triplets). Claude absolutely hates the idea, but she forces him to do it. Mainly she reminds him that he saved his life when they first meet. He offers to take one and eat the other two. That doesn't amuse her so he sees a bit worse for the next several hours. Im gonna stop here but like tldr. Triplets and later Alois see Hannah and Claude as their fucked up family. I'll also write about Seb, probably Sebaclaude. Probably in the same "universe" as those idea, but as a separate fic so people who don't want just Gen - won't be forced to sit through a big portion of just found family stuff. A lot more domestic headcanons. Like the fact that Hannah would be the one to teach triplets how to fly in demon form cause Claude doesn't have wings. Or Triplets forming older brothers relationship with Alois, but their perspective of what's good is kinda fucked. So they just teach him really dangerous things. Like how to create a nail-bomb. I'm still gonna write it, but i also wanna know if you guys are interested in something like that.

[r0yalgrimmartz]

Babby Manjoume

The final hell spawn that is Chazz/Jun and Kore's child. Sumire Manjoume/Sadie Princeton

I've already discussed their other three children. The three, Kenji, Himari and Ekou are older and have a 2 year age gap between each of them. Sumire...I did originally give them 4, then scrapped one...but I loved her design too much so thought fuck it and so redid it and I already favour Sumire so much.

Basically, after a certain amount of years, Sumire ended up popping up out of nowhere. As a god damn surprise - a terrifying one where both Kore and Chazz were constantly staring and blinking at the test in hopes it was some joke. Nope. Nah- Now...they have this absolute...feral, unhinged thing. She's a darling😍

Facts about Sumire:

- The very youngest, and definitely most final Manjoume/Princeton sibling. (Around 7??)

- Ended up popping up after a good long 9-10 years after Ekou was born. So when they found out, Ekou was roughly 10, Himari was 12 and Kenji was 14.

- Ekou was puzzled but actually very chill (surprisingly held Sumire a lot).

[CUT TO BREAK TEXT]

- Himari was just happy to have a sister finally. Definitely does her hair a lot and plays dolls with her when Sumire storms in.

- Kenji was the LEAST thrilled. Boy was hoping that thing was shipped off. He couldn't be bothered to deal with a crying baby during the night, and was more thrilled to just leave for dueling school in all honesty.

- Kenji did end up warning up to her and acts unintentionally like a protective big brother if anyone is picking on her, first to throw hands. Yet they are one another's biggest hater. Kenji might be 21 but he would throw down his 7 year old sister if need be. She'd go for his groin with a plastic knife!!

- Sumire is very rambunctious and feral. Also very loud and bossy. Thinks she's always the best at everything.

- Sumire's not great with words, but is better at showing her emotions physically.

- Kore and Chazz did everything this time to make sure Sumire was raised lovingly and with care (not like they didn't do it with the other three, they did, they just have more experience now). Especially since when Ekou was born, he was pretty much a selective mute from his early childhood so Kore always panicked and worried.

- Sumire always bothers her siblings. Always. For the dumbest thing or to play with her. Purposely puts centipedes in Kenji's bed if he's being an ass.

- Sumire looks more like Chazz in the eyes...definitely acts like him in personality, yet more feral and unhinged. And just no filter. Could be out and about and she would say "my daddy says you're a shit duelist and everyone can see your spendex through that stupid suit- " so she's immediately dragged quickly from the scene before more damage can be done.

- Sumire sort of is a little destructive...used to have a habit of cutting things with scissors (clothes, pillow cases, bedding, towels, her doll's dresses, doll's hair, her own winter gloves) when she was 5. Hid the evidence under the bed until Kore cleaned her room out one day and found the destruction. Sumire cried immediately and was like "*sniffle* IM SORRY- *incoherent coughing*"

- Can actually see and talk to spirits. Very bossy with them..."no you're not doing it right- The dress goes the other way- YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!"

- Despite that, actually loves them.

- Had a comfort elephant plush since she was newborn. Absolutely clings to that thing for dear life. Used it as a comfort thing to help her nap when she was a toddler...it was a battle for Chazz and Kore to get that thing from her to wash it.

- Paints Chazz's nails when he's either infront of his laptop having to sit through something or watching TV. Gets annoyed when Chazz moves even thr tiniest. Just goes ">:(" then hits his arm lightly.

- Was very...very clingy towards Kore. It didn't take till like when she was 3 for Chazz to step in and sort the issue.

- Will bite or hit when she's frustrated. But will ball into tears if she gets overwhelmed with emotions a lot.

- Loves birds...Will sit outside and stare in the trees to watch the birds. Asked Chazz and Kore for a bird book for her birthday to sit and stare at various pictures of birds.

That's...all I think? Anyway bye-

- Kore and Chazz don't have her till...late 30's or early 40's??

[tearsofthefilmreviews]

MEAN GIRLS 2024 REVIEW

“You could be really hot, if you like, change everything.”

I was excited for this film from its first announcement, which I caught wind of prior to my Eras Tour screening. I am a huge fan of the original 2004 film, and was quite interested in seeing a mew version of it, and particularly, was wondering how the new Regina George would perform. I am very happy to say that she is absolutely fantastic, and steals the show for sure. The entire cast is great atop of that, particularly Auli’i Cravalho as Janice and Angourie Rice and Cady. I also especially loved Avantika’s portrayal of Karen. The music surprised me very pleasantly; the songs were all good, catchy and quite memorable; I will get into those later on, but my absolute favourite song of the film was "World Burn", performed by Reneé Rapp. That being said, the review truly starts from beyond this point.

-The Cast-

The original Mean Girls has a perfect cast. And, I am happy to say, this musical rendition of Mean Girls, 20 years later , follows suit! Everyone is great here, though the obvious highlight is Reneé Rapp as Regina George, who absolutely steals the show with fantastic outings in both the acting and singing. She nails the attitude and personality down to a t, with her own twist on it that separates her from Rachel McAdams’ portrayal; it isn’t a mimic of the performance, but rather one that respects it while making itself distinct. My other favourite performances were Angourie Rice as Cady, Auli’i Cravalho as Janis, and Avantika’s portrayal of Karen. All of them bring their own interesting and fun energies to the characters we know and love, and along with other highlights such as Bebe Wood(Gretchen), breathe a great life into this film. I was very impressed by the cast and their performances overall, and was especially happy to see Reneé shining as Regina, which was admittedly the performance I was looking towards the most leading up to this film’s release. Nothing bad to say about any of the cast!

-The Music-

I loved the music of this film. The songs are very well integrated into the story, and move it along while also playing around with the surrealism that musicals often delve into; one musical scene in particular take place in the character’s head, and we will see the reactions of this around them as they imagine this song happening. The opening song is a great force for opening exposition, with a really interesting visual transition that takes place at its end, and gets us right where we need to be for the story to happen, and sets up Cady for us. The songs in general do great jobs at moving the plot along and developing characters in interesting ways, as well as being visually fun, creative and well sung. The following paragraphs will be some details on the three particular songs that I liked the most, and the reasons why.

#3 - “Someone Gets Hurt” (Reneé Rapp/Regina George)

I am absolutely in love with the dark, silky vibes of this song, and the power in Reneé’s voice sells it even further. Has some more of my favourite visuals of the film as well, with the rest of the partygoers being suspended and puppeteered in visually interesting ways that go with the lighting, which takes a cold and dark tone as opposed to the bright warmth that the halloween party is otherwised bathed in. The way the visuals follow the music in this sequence in this particular is downright lovely.

#2 - “Apex Predator” (Auli’i Cravalho & Jaquel Spivey/Janis & Damian)

This song has a lovely sound to it and is a very fun track as well. It essentially serves as a contrasting view to what Regina and the other Plastics initially present her as, qite literally calling her the 'apex predator' - the untouchable top dog. One of the catchiest songs of the film as well, with great duet vocals and rhythm to it that really sells the energy of the scene, along with some great shots visually. The lyrics are great as well and feature some creative usage of the animal kingdom as a metaphor. It also does a great job visually at furthering the metaphor, by showing all the students acting like animals; scared mice and dogs running from Regina, as an example. Everyone hopping around and on all fours, painting a picture of how the high school drama sphere is quite literally a zoo of chaos that's held down by the one, the apex.

#1 - “World Burn” (Reneé Rapp/Regina George)

This was not only my favourite song of the film, but also has some of the best visuals of any of the musical sequences. The red lighting looks great and is also symbolically indicative and adds onto the song’s mood, which turns from simply bitter to angry as it ramps up in intensity. Its greatly placed in the soundtrack itself too, following the much brighter-toned “Revenge Party”, which allows for Regina’s mood in singing this song to be even more greatly contrasted. The vocals and instrumental on this track work so perfectly together with the visuals and create a perfect portrait, hitting the climax button on the plot while also communicating in multiple sensory manners Regina’s mental state and thought process that leads to her quite significantly setting the high school’s social sphere ablaze. Reneé absolutely hirs every note, literally and figuratively, in delivering this section of the film, and it even heightens her portrayal of Regina further. I love all of the red-lit scenes, and especially once we get towards the song's end, with all the glitching in of the social media as things go haywire? Chef's kiss. I love the backing vocals singing out the lines from the Burn Book as well, and the absolute power of Reneé’s voice that hits so damn hard and is so wonderful on the ears.

I do love all of the songs in the film - I listen to them individually, and in the film they all work superbly and smoothly, and add to the refreshed identity that this film has. If you’re curious, this is my full ranking of the film’s soundtrack:

1. World Burn

2. Apex Predator

3. Someone Gets Hurt

4. I’d Rather Be Me

5. Stupid With Love

6. Revenge Party

7. What’s Wrong With Me?

8. A Cautionary Tale

9. Sexy

10. What Ifs

11. Meet The Plastics

12. I See Stars

(I’d Rather Be Me)

This song is genuinely gorgeous, lyrics-wise and sonically. It is hard-hitting and strong, and has an absolutely stunning long-take sequence as Janis sings it. It's a song that is also very socially relevant in its message, which in essence is to not stay in and enable toxic relationships in your life. Janis sings this after having been betrayed by both Regina and Cady, and also speaks about staying who she is, not changing herself for those around her. It's very well-written and has great vocals from Auli'i Cravalho, and fits very well into the film, as well as capping off that scene in a very satisfying manner. The next few paragraphs are some small dives into the songs, particular things that stood out about each one to me, and why I loved them.

(Stupid With Love)

This song is so fun and joyful, with Cady fresh off of meeting Aaron and becoming smitten with him. The song is a pretty and happy one both lyrically and sonically, the soft instrumentals letting the daydreamy voice flow through. It's such a cute love song as well, with how she compares herself being great with math - book smarts - but being 'stupid with love' - street smarts. It's also a statement on herself beyond the love aspect, as she does lack clear street smarts as she is drawn quickly into Regina's world, and struggles to balance between that realm and that of her friendship with Janis and Damian. Through the song she comes to understand her feelings and affections more, and it also plays with the fact that she is daydreaming the song during class in a pretty funny way.

(Revenge Party)

This song is practically the embodiment of fun and chaotic, especially visually, in a great way. Its the big moment where Cady turns against Regina, with Janis and Damian making many references to (metaphoricallly) murdering Regina and eventually convincing Cady to be part of this master plan with Aaron. The climax of the song is also what kickstarts Cady's big changes, as she decides to go "fuck it" and backstab Gretchen just to get with Aaron, whom doesn't even fulfill that wish until the very end of the film.

(What’s Wrong With Me)

Such a beautiful little solo song from Gretchen, that gives us a little insight into her psyche, after some particularly harsh remarks from Regina. She gets a moment alone to contemplate and introspect on herself, while being yelled at in the background to leave the closet. It's this moment in particular that truly begins our connecting with Gretchen and Karen, the former in particular. Gretchen stayed with Regina, unlike Janis, and goes forth with the rocky relationship and social status despite the clear effect it is taking on her mental health, especially later when she snaps and blurts everything out to Cady during Revenge Party.

(A Cautionary Tale)

Great opening to the film! I love the touch of making it visually stylized for social media, as if filmed on a phone to be saved and posted afterwards. Lyrically, its essentially a statement of the film's themes and thesis, as well as foreshadowing the film in a way that sets the vibe in a very fun way. Its a bite-sized little jam that quickly becomes an addictive earworm, and feels right at home in the 2020s.

(Sexy)

This is such a goofy little bop that I fell in love with. It sets the mood for the halloween party, and gives Karen a fun time in the limelight, the song stylized quite well to what she is doing; a social media video, and Avantika's delivery is simply great. It has such a fun charm to it, as well as a nice message to it despite its inherent siliness(given the character); being who you want to be, not following some sort of predetermined social norms.

(What Ifs)

This song introduces us to Cady, living out in Kenya. She speaks as if she is happy there, living alone with her single mother, but also desires to have the social experience of high school; a fear of missing out on that part of life. It has an amazing visual transition between Kenya and the high school, and sets up her character and part of the main exposition of the first act very smoothly and nicely. Great visuals and lyrics that do their job very well, at integrating her cleanly into her first day of public school.

(Meet The Plastics)

Great introduction to the titular Plastics, with gorgeous vocals from Reneé and some interesting foreshadowing with the "My Name is Regina George..." lines, which show up later in a very different context in World Burn. The way it contrasts against the much brighter "What Ifs" sets the differences between Regina and Cady in a very stark fashion, that immediately exemplifies how different they are before they even have their first conversation, moments later.

(I See Stars)

Such a pretty ending song to the film. It's really exemplary of the character development that many characters have gone through, with the touching symbolism of Cady throwing the tiara pieces to others while she sings this lower-key, soft ballad. It ties things up in a very nice, pink bow, and really solidifies the ending in a lovely way. Also plays a strong role in solidifying the redemption that Cady goes through towards the end; a fuller redemption than Regina has.

(Not My Fault)

While it's not really part of the film - a song that plays only in the credits - I felt it worthwhile to mention the thematic significance to some of it. The opening spoken line, the chorus, and many of the lyrics that Reneé sings fit the film's themes and vibe very well, as if to paint the picture with those particular parts of the song, of Janis and Regina's fallout, from the latter's perspective. The line "It's not my fault" also works for much of the rest of the film, as characters often struggle to accept blame or that their methods are wrong.

-New Life-

The film has a new life in it, a different take on the classic tale. A large change from the 2004 film is the prevalence of social media and the internet in how the story is told, essentially a generational shift. Events and words spread more than ever before due to this, which adds another layer to all the drama that occurs. In particular, it demonstrates cyberbullying and gossip in the digital age; as an example, Regina’s accident during the dance performance is movoed widely all over social networks, particularly TikTok. Another particular interesting change is the falling out between Janis and Regina; its a particular thing that caught my attention. Instead of how it happened in the original, Janis and Regina fell out because Regina began to bully Janis behind her back by using a plush she nicknamed “Sissy Liz”, shorthand for “obsessed lesbian”. In anger, Janis torched the doll, accidentally setting Regina’s backpack ablaze and leading to her dismissal from the school. This leads to another interesting and welcome change, Janis being queer and open about it. This adds another interesting layer to the backstories of the characters. I found the new portrayal of Aaron quite interesting too, especially in contrast to the original film; he’s much more quiet and sensitive in this version, and that definitely changed the air of the scenes he was involved in.

This film is its own film while retaining the classic overall story we know and love, adding new elements, nuances and performances that create a special experience that was a joy to see on the screen. Everything comes together to make a truly wonderful final product. The cinematography is also great, as is the score. Especially during song sequences, there are some absolutely *mean* visuals; and interestingly enough, some of my favourite visuals tend to be from Regina’s songs.

Something I always loved about the original, and continue to in this film, is the whole ambivalence it gives the audience. Throughout the film, we feel badly for many characters, including the two leads in Cady and Regina. Yes, Regina does a lot of awful things, but we begin to question Janis and Cady once they start to go too far with it; ruining Regina’s life more than she had ever done theirs. In particular, what strikes is the “health bars” Cady gives Regina, which turn out to be bars that make the user gain weight instead of lose it; Regina is quite health-conscious, and perhaps even in a destructive way - she is perfectly thin, yet she constantly counts calories in hopes of losing more pounds. This is the main thing the protagonists do that really starts to set the unease about them, because they are quite literally ruining Regina’s health in retort for what is essentially petty drama(it isn’t even Gretchen who’s involved, who honestly got the worst of Regina in the film). It leads to the best song and moments of the film, where Regina sets things ablaze by bringing out the Burn Book she had so openly mocked before, and displays her cleverness by adding herself into it to ensure she wouldn’t be accused. On the other hand, she’s quite awful, especially towards Gretchen and most people around her, her attitude only really changing towards the end. She becomes more softly spoken, and after she’s hit by the bus, and quite literally is dead for a few seconds, is when she mentions to Cady her plans to change her ways. Regina is one of my favourite characters of all time, and Reneé’s portrayal does not miss a bit in furthering that.

Another way that leads to Cady becoming what Regina is essentially emotional abuse towards Gretchen, which is never admitted. Cady, Janis and Damian rig it so that she doesn’t get any candy canes that are given out, and make her feel like Regina specifically disowned her for it. It helps their takedown of Regina, but made me feel horribly for Gretchen, who is nowhere near an antagonist in the film. Cady becomes the antagonist and replaces Regina in that role, honestly. Regina isn’t reforming personality-wise at this point yet, but its clear who’s taken the new antagonistic role. Another way we see Cady change over the story is how in the beginning, her grades in such a high level of math are stellar, but as her focus drifts solely to Aaron, they slip down hard, something that she will later be criticized for. Earlier in the film, she refuses to take alcohol, but once she has gone full ‘Plastic’, she goes right into it and drunkenly harms her relationship with Aaron by essentially insulting his math skills and admitting what she had been doing, that the tutoring had all been a lie.

Overall, I loved how this film made all these plot points we know and love feel refreshed by applying its own features and intricacies to it, that make it feel distinct while also not disrespecting the original classic film. The fact that it is a musical also affects the tones in really interesting ways, both the positive and the negative.

-Regina and Cady-

Regina is a wonderful character. Mot in the sense that’s she is a nice person; mostly far from it, as it is not even until the very end that she truly changes. However, we do see growth through the film; Cady’s backstabbing of her, though is immediately followed by some Burn Book revenge, clearly affects her perspective. Regina in the first act and part of the second act of the movie would never have even raised her hand during the rally; yet she does it after unleashing the Burn Book, even if it is half-assedly. It’s a clear symbol that she has been affected. Obviously, she isn't going to become a complete new person, especially not overnight; that's not what the film preaches. In fact, it preaches exactly against changing yourself to 'fit in' with others, using Cady's corruption as a clear example of what can happen. She can become less mean, but changing her whole personality would lead to issues down the line as it did for Cady. She's a great example of very solid character writing and growth through a film. Contender for favourite film character?

As is Cady. We follow her for most of the film's runtime. She goes from being a socially nervous freshman to basically winding up where Regina spends a solid chunk of runtime character-wise, while Regina fades out of that role. She becomes more confident, but as a result of the exact things she did to get back at Regina for stealing Aaron from her, she deviates strongly from her initial self, adopting the personality traits that made Regina the villain. It is very well-done in both versions of this film. Cady becomes the new defacto leader of the Plastics after she pushes Regina out, as her own social standing increases and the intoxicating feeling that comes with it clearly gets to her head. Cady in the beginning of the film would never have fucked Janis and her own mother over in the way she did, when she held a party in her home after claiming she was going to Janis' art show. “I See Stars” serves as such a gorgeous way to cap off her redemption, which starts from admitting about her single Burn Book contribution. The mathletes scene was very well done, and it was lovely to see Lohan cameo in there - and having the Cady Heron of 2004 talk to the Cady Heron of 2024. Cady is the main lead, with some very clear flaws to her that get exploited into changing her character, and is very well written, and the performance from Rice is another standout from the film. Gorgeous singing voice to her too.

-Janis-

Janis comes out of the film with the cleaner record between her, Cady and Regina. She is, however, also one of the ones (along with Damian) who admittedly drives things too far and plays a role in Cady’s corruption. She pushes Cady too hard into the direction of going after Regina, and admittedly it is clear that she is doing that out of more self-focused reasons; she wants payback at Regina, and is both befriending Cady but also using and manipulating her for petty drama, which ends up backfiring as it corrupts and changes Cady and how she acts. Her record is not pristine, but it is definitely the cleaner of the three. It is worth noting her character growth as well; in the end, she is ready to make an apology to Regina about the fire incident, and possibly what she and Damian egged Cady into doing to her - but Regina’s snide comment, at the last minute, changes her tune and she sings the fantastic “I’d Rather Be Me”, which features a gorgeous long-take and leads into a very impactful bus crash scene, which was just as viscerally done as the original film. This cements her as the most “good” character in the film(though I will explain later why this label isn’t really valid for anybody here) and she is one of the best characters with a lovely portrayal by Auli’i. She is the one who received the worst bullying from Regina and ends up in a much better spot, especially after her powerful solo song. Auli’i Cravalho does not disappoint to any degree.

-The Comedy-

This film had me laughing and chuckling quite a lot. I found the comedy to be quite well done and crafted, and it honestly added to the musical vibes we got; some of the funniest moments come from characters bursting into song, whether physically or mentally, and having others react to what they’re doing as a result of it. Also, so many lines or simple actions were hilarious; it didn’t miss a single best on this front for me, personally. Karen brought the most laughs with her loveable demeanour for sure; both times that I saw the film this far, my crowd has laughed all along with me at pretty much everything that I found funny. They really nailed the funny moments in this one!

-The Technical Details-

First off, I will reiterate that the cinematography is great here, and consistently so as well. There were no shots that stuck out as misplaced or bad to me, and it especially excels once we get surreal with the musical segments.

Beyond the songs, the score itself is also very well composed, and heightens the scenes that its used in, and the lack of it in some scenes works perfectly too, to set a certain tension between characters, often involving Regina in some way. Big kudos to the composer, both for the score and the instrumentals of each of the musical songs.

The sets, props, hairstyling, makeup and costumes are unsurprisingly done flawlessly. Fantastic wardrobe we get in this film, and everyone absolutely - slays - the appearances of their characters, along with giving their knockout performances. Obvious as it was that it would show up, it was so nice to see the Burn Book back onto the screen in all its glory. Its used so well in the World Burn scene. The film has great use of colour as well, beyond the wardrobe - the Revenge Party sequence is a perfect example of this.

Seeing behind the scenes clips on social media from the film, its clear that everyone had a good time making this film; the set definitely had a fun, supportive energy to it, and those involved clearly loved the project they made. This work atmosphere comes through into the project itself, and makes it feel like a labour of love. This is clear in how well the film is directed and crafted, leaving a wonderful, theatrical experience. It's so much fun to watch, especially in a cinema with others.

-More About The Cinematography-

Because it deserves its own section. Its freaking great and super visually engaging all through, but especially in musical scenes it shines. I’d Rather Be Me in its entirety is a lovely, minutes-long take, and the World Burn sequence is amazing as well. I also want to appreciate the cinematography of What Ifs and Stupid With Love more, because those sequences are also amazingly done, and especially both transitions in What Ifs are really smooth and visually pleasing. I love that the filmmakers leaned into the musical side of this film as much as they did and allowed themselves to make it fun, which it clearly feels like they had some of that during the filmmaking process for this film.

-More About Costuming&Hairstyling-

I wanted to give some more spotlight to the significant work put into getting the characters to all look right. Hairstyling and costumes are all-around excellent and vivid, and there’s no better example than the Halloween party, where all of the costumes are super well made, many of them that we see during Karen’s song. Even the non-flashy wardrobing, particularly the clothes we see Regina and Janis wear, are great and also such an interesting, visually symbolic clash. Regina sees herself as in the right and Janis as in the wrong, so she’s all bright and wearing colourful clothes for most of the film, whereas Janis often opts for darker colours in hers. Its also a representation of the whole “Rebel vs. Leader” dynamic they have going on, in terms of the school’s social hierarchy. The hair plays an important role too, particularly with showing how Cady changes and takes Regina’s place, as her hairstyle and appearance become more in line with the Plastics, while Regina begins to wear more casual clothing.

-The Score and Instrumentals-

The score hits so well, and enhances a lot of scenes. One particular moment that always gets me is when the score picks up as Cady tells Regina she can’t sit with her and the others, particularly kicking in as she adjusts her sitting position in a way that utterly demonstrates how her character has changed. This applies to the instrumentals of the songs as well, which are all distinctly suited to each track and set the mood and character of the songs very well. Compare, for example, the bright tune of Revenge Party against the darker, heavy tones of Someone Gets Hurt or World Burn, and its clear who is being portrayed and how. Regina’s portrayed as the antagonist for most of the film, and so her songs take on that darker tone to them, whereas when our protagonists sing, the vocals and instrumental are always brighter and cheerful.

-The Thesis-

I have talked about how the characters change and the narrative and themes elsewhere in this review, but to cap it off, I want to dive deep into what I interpreted as the film's main thesis statement. The film deals with many themes; love, betrayal, vengeance, identity, social status quo, and social media as primary examples of the most prominent ones. The film's overall main point, regarding everything mentioned here and through the review, the music, and the character arcs, can be boiled down to this mess of a sentence from me:

"You are who you are, don't change for others; don't play the social game; everyone has a 'Mean Girl' in them, whether they'll admit it or not."

Let me divulge a bit. The song I'd Rather Be Me is perhaps the most clear display of the film's main point, and I went into the track earlier. But beyond that, through the basic plot of events of the film:

>Cady transfers to the high school.

>Cady befriends Janis and Damian.

>Cady falls into Regina's social group, and begins hanging out with her often.

>Cady, despite Gretchen's stern words to not go after Aaron, goes for him secretly in her calculus class. Janis tells her off for pretending to be dumb just to get the attention.

>Regina finds out at the halloween party, and steals Aaron from her.

>Cady, angry and tearful, is drawn into Janis and Damian's big revenge plan to ruin Regina's life.

>They go too far in doing this, and end up corrupting Cady and making her the new Regina.

>Regina, in retaliation for it all, though especially the ruining of her health, drops the Burn Book and implicates the Plastics, who rejected her at the lunch table earlier.

>The chaos leads to the rally scene, which turns towards everyone walking outside in an angry, musical fashion, and Regina being hit by the bus - giving everyone a shock, and further damaging Cady's reputation; especially with social media hawking down on her with no hesitation, accusing her of attempted murder.

>Cady says that she was the one who insulted Norbury in the Burn Book, but doesn't reveal that Regina did the full book.

>The characters are split and feeling interpersonal spite, but in the ending party, we see Cady splitting the tiara, and see her and Regina both turning more to the light.

The main displays of this are between Cady and Regina, with Janis and Gretchen playing the most thematically significant supporting characters. Cady changes herself in many ways for others; adjusting to the rules of the Plastics, pretending to be dumb so she can spend more time with Aaron, and slowly adopting personality traits from Regina, while Regina herself begins to slowly slip out of them, and goes from outright mean to more just snide and snark. Gretchen is hurt by Regina, and the 'betrayal' of the candy cane is her breaking point, though we know its false. Gretchen is one of the other characters who gets done really dirty by our main protagonist, in the way that her world is rocked and emotions hurt on a lie. Yes, Regina was mean to her, but from what we have here empirically, we can assume that the tradition would have continued, and Regina would have given the candy cane to Gretchen, if not for the meddling of the "good guys." This is where we truly see the Mean Girl coming out in Cady, Janis and Damian, as they take their revenge for the harm Regina's caused too far and ruin her in a way that Regina never did; physically. What really clicks is when Cady tricks Regina, who is quite health-conscious and calorie counting, into eating the weight gain bars. Janis has more of a motive than Cady, really; Janis was bullied in a derogatory way, while the main motive for Cady is Aaron being stolen from her, which seems just peachy in contrast to ruining someone's weight. The point is that everyone comes out of this as a better person, but through most of the film, nobody is truly the “good” side, as everyone has their own hidden agendas and have their mean moments. Even Janis, who’s open queerness and rebellious attitude makes her an extremely relatable character besides this universal statement that “everyone is a Mean Girl inside,” has that moment. Damian not as much, but he isn’t really the focus out of the dup; he has impact on the film, yes, but he is less thematically relevant than Janis by a clear distinction. Regina’s exit from the Plastics makes Cady into the Mean Girl instead, and both eventually get to a similar middle ground of wanting to change by the end. Gretchen and Karen are both positively affected by the end as well, after the tumultuous events of the film run their course. This film also shows how the main characters changing themselves for others is inherently a negative attitude to take, primarily through Cady and Gretchen. Both of them

try to change themselves for a social group, and end up hurt as a result of it.

The film’s many songs work fantastically to communicate character development, story progression and themes. Character appearances play a part as well; we see a stark contrast between the outfits and hair of Regina and the other Plastics versus Janis, Damian, and particularly Cady as she was in the first bunch or so of the film. Through the film, Cady changes her look until it culminates in her ‘Plastic’ appearance once she and her friends succeed in getting Regina out, only to immediately betray them too, leaving her with Gretchen and Karen as she becomes more of a Regina. She does makeup and jewelry like she never did before, and changes her hairstyle in a way that looks like how Regina’s is for much of the runtime. The superficiality of it all, the high school sphere, becomes crystal clear through this symbolism, and the Burn Book also represents absolute toxicity. It is the true dark side of the high school world of drama, which also is made crystal clear, both visually and song-wise during World Burn. Something that this and the 2004 film both get perfectly down is making its characters strongly written, and full of depth; they all have a proper arc and story to them, and all share the “Mean Girl” quality in one manner or another, whether they’re Gretchen and Karen; dragged around by Regina, Cady and Janis; motives for revenge that don’t quite match the crime, Regina; who needs no introduction to how verbally awful she gets, mainly in the first half. None of them are truly in the clear, even by the end; there is much repairing to be done, especially once Cady’s new attitude begins to bleed into her home life, and she has emotional moments with her mother that edge her towards the start of redeeming herself both socially and cleaning up her conscience.

Ultimately this all leads to another theme, of forgiveness and character growth. In the end, Cady’s final song and actions during the Spring Fling serve as her apology, and though it was a rocky road, she ultimately grows more as a result of her experiences. Another message then makes itself clear, that to truly grow you need to experience things both bad and good, even if it hurts to do so. The hedonistic desire of constant positivity is brutalized in this film, and for good reason; its a psychological fact that if you remain on the loop, or rather the hedonistic treadmill, your happiness and well-being levels will stagnate, whereas if you experience both bad and good things, you will come to appreciate the good more than you would otherwise. This is something the film clearly takes seriously, and as a result, is more compelling drama-wise.

Next for this section, I will touch on the cyberbullying portrayed through the movie. Especially after the Burn Book is dropped, a lot of people are mocked on internet platforms, most prominently TikTok. Particularly though, the focus is put on Regina and Cady, as they both face rises and downfalls; in opposing orders. Cady rises but then is slammed online because people accuse her of pushing Regina, and Regina falls in two ways but rises back up after her accident, as the sympathy takes hold. It shows how fickle the digital world is, in how they flip on an instant and don’t hesitate to go toxic, following trends like sheep. Even with how bad Regina has acted up until the talent show, that shot of her looking back to the crowd after her harsh fall…chills. That made me feel badly for her, and severely question Janis for a good few minutes when she laughed at it. Yes, I get that Janis was treated horribly by Regina, but this immediately feels off given the newfound context of social media toxicity, especially once we see exactly how much it spreads. This was one of the primary examples of the revenge going too far - although Regina’s stubbornness to not bother to rehearse indeed led to the issue happening due to the weight gain, the worst sin that Cady commits towards Regina - and definitely got to Regina. We see her being so health-conscious, and from subtle curs in her voice, face, and things she says, we can tell that it is negatively affecting her in a way that is going beyond what was necessary. That being said, I would be less inclined to dub Janis and Cady as letting their mean selves out in that if they had cut those parts out. However, as the opening song says, everyone has a mean side to themselves. So, this was not a surprise to see - even if you’ve never seen the original 2004 film - but the extents that it goes to should make any viewer ambivalent about who is in the right, and that is something else that is so fantastic about Mean Girls. All sides do actions both good and bad, that really paint the proper portrait that, in life, there isn’t anyone who’s truly pure. Everyone has a darker side, that makes you question their true intentions and motivations, even if they’re otherwise splayed out clearly. Thus, nobody is inherently ‘good’ and nobody is inherently ‘bad’, and especially for the latter, the film shows the negatives of treating others like the bad ones and of propping yourself up as the good one.

And that’s the main point of the film, I believe. A Cautionary Tale sets this out and the film picks it up and displays the idea in really interesting and fun ways, which leads to an amazing, strongly-crafted experience all-around, with plenty to analyze and discuss about it.

-Conclusion and Rating-

In the end, I think its pretty clear to anyone who has read the review to this point what I will be giving this film as a rating. I personally had 0 issues with it and nothing stuck out to me as a flaw; it all worked together into a perfectly sublime platter that impressed me all around, more than I’d even been prepared for. It is with absolute joy, especially as a huge fan of the original film, that I bestow this rating of mine. Will need to binge this with the original on the 20th anniversary of the original. For me this was…joyous perfection. I hope this review made my love of it clear via both the gushing and the analysis. It was an absolute joy of a viewing experience on the biggest screen my cinema has, and I cannot wait to see the film again.

Mean Girls 2024 is so absolutely fetch. I highly recommend this film, especially if you love the original how I do; its truly wonderful.

10/10