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#She also lied about her past jobs and cheated on me several times
the-atlas-sys · 1 month
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Thinking about the time I, a system, dated someone who lied to me about being a system. This was before I was out about my disorder or even sure of it, but that shit was crazy. The second we got into person for nearly a year's worth of time, there were no symptoms of the disorder when online they'd switch so often. It wasnt a comfort issue, it was just like. The second we were an in person couple, she ceased being a system entirely.
Then when I started coming out about my symptoms and struggles she accused me of having a "roleplaying disorder". One of my guys tried to talk to her but his way of speaking was so off and stilted that she thought we were someone else texting her entirely, but no, we couldnt possibly have the condition she was faking for real!
That was crazy.
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hidekomoon · 1 year
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Would love to hear about both! Or whichever one you’re most itching to talk about 😍
i just wrote about Azana so i'm gonna talk about old lady memories! i really can't find a good title for this one. i'm hoping when it's finished i'll have better ideas? luckily for me this is the project i'm the closest to finishing, since it's a short story. it's currently 8 pages long but i have several paragraphs and dialogs in a notebook that i filled while on vacation and i haven't typed it all out yet.
so the plot is about an old lady (last night i decided i was going to name her Cécile but i'm not 100% sold yet, it's always hard to pick a name for the MC) whose lover (another woman whom i've been calling LI for love interest) just died, and Cécile is trying to come to terms with it, and to go through the grief process. the story starts in the present, when LI is dead, and introduces the four memories (each set during a different season) of their past together.
the first memory is set in fall, when they were around 15/16. it's their first meeting; they're both on vacation with their families. they have a crush on each other and don't acknowledge it. they keep in touch via letters in the years that follow. the second memory is set in summer, when they're in their early 20s, studying and working small jobs. they live in the same city and basically spend every available minute together. one night there's a storm and the power goes out and they kiss, but LI isn't ready to commit to someone, +she has to move to another city for a job, so the next day they fight and decide not to pursue a relationship. they remain friends but don't see each other as much; the next year Cécile meets a boy and they get married a few years later. the third memory takes place in their early 30s. Cécile has 2 kids with her huband, they're living the nuclear family dream, she pretends she's happy, etc. she still meets LI from time to time, and one day she invites her to the house, and i haven't planned what happens there yet. maybe i'll have them fight, maybe they'll cheat on the husband, who knows. but after that they don't see each other for a few years. the last memory takes place in the spring, in their fifties, and it's the least thought out one so far; they reunite and start a relationship (Cécile's divorced) & it's a sort of happy ending... except we know that LI is really dead in the present time. idk, i really wanted it to be something kind of bittersweet. i was inspired by Annie Ernaux's Une Femme, which she wrote when her mother died. it's a short novel that recounts all of her mother's life. she did the same when her father died but i haven't had time to read it yet.
so yeah so far i've done a lot of description, a lot of character building since i really want Cécile & LI to be fleshed out and for the 4 memories to showcase the shifts in their personalities and in their dynamic. i also found that it's hard to write dialogs, especially conflicts, so i keep a notebook and a pen on me at all times in case i think of something i could use when i'm not expecting it.
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sacredsorceress · 4 years
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The Argument || Peter Parker
pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader
summary: you and peter get in a fight and the other avengers can’t help but overhear
a/n: i have like four things in my drafts right now that i can’t seem to finish, but i had a sudden burst of inspiration to write this instead of studying so here we are! hope you enjoy! (reader’s super power is similar to wanda’s in a way except with gold rather than red)
word count: 2.2k
warnings: lots of swearing, loud arguing, angst with happy ending
masterlist || request
You and your boyfriend Peter stood, glaring at each other from opposite corners of your bedroom. Your hands were balled into fists at your sides as you looked at him from across the room with anger mixed hurt written all over your face.
“Are you serious right now, Peter?” You asked him, raising your voice with each sentence. “Are you dead serious right now? You know I’m a fucking Avenger right? I’m sorry if me being around other guys makes you uncomfortable but it’s kind of part of my job.”
Peter huffed, rolling his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. “So what? This is my fault now?” He gestured towards himself, raising his voice at you.
“You’re the one who’s pissed at me because I’m nice to other guys.” You scoffed. “It’s fine, Peter. Next time a guy needs saving I’ll be sure to tell him that Spider-Man doesn’t trust his girlfriend so he’ll have to figure it out himself.”
At the words that just came out of your mouth, Peter laughed out loud. It wasn’t the sweet laugh you always loved hearing in the mornings or the one where he would find something so hilarious that he would be out of breath, but one that just screamed that he could not believe what you had just said.
“Me?” He shouted. “You’re the one who always gets mad at me for ‘getting too cozy with girls’. I’m doing my job! You see one photo of me saving a girl- from a fire might I add- and you don���t talk to me for two days because you were jealous. What do you want me to do?”
Peter bringing up this situation again just made you fume even more and he knew that. Despite the fact that you and Peter rarely fought, this instance had been mentioned in several arguments between the two of you, but you always held your ground.
You were now the one throwing your hands up in the air, beginning to pace across the room. “Oh! This fucking conversation again!” You shouted at him. “How many times do we have to go over this? When are you going to get it? She kissed you!”
You still remember every part of the footage from that day and the image had burned itself into your brain. It was a solo day for Spider-Man so you hadn’t found out until you had seen the news footage of your boyfriend swinging the girl to safety with her arms wrapped tightly around him and her head buried in the crook of his neck. Peter’s arm was wrapped securely around her waist as he assured her that everything was going to be okay. As soon as he stopped swinging, however, and landed her safely on the ground, she had placed her hands on either side of Peter’s masked face and pulled him into a kiss. Although he quickly scrambled out of it, you couldn’t help but feel sick seeing the image.
“I was wearing my mask, Y/n!” He shouted back, tugging on his hair in frustration. “It’s not like I went in to kiss her. She kissed me! I didn’t do anything!”
At his words, you stopped pacing and stomped across the room, stopping in front of your boyfriend. “You’re right, you didn’t do anything.” You spat. “She kissed you and yeah that’s fucked up, but you know what’s more fucked up? That you didn’t tell me! You knew some girl had kissed you and you just hoped I would never find out. Do you know what it was like to find out from a fucking news broadcast? Fuck, Peter! You lied to me about it!”
Peter took a deep breath, looking anywhere besides your face. “I’m not doing this.” He told you finally, shoving past you to reach the door and stomping out of your room.
Peter aggressively threw open your door and you yelled out of frustration before following him out the room. Your hands were once again balled into fists at your sides as you watched Peter stomp out of your bedroom and down the hallway leading up to the common room, all the while yelling at him to stop.
“Peter!” You shouted.
“I’m not talking to you like this!” He yelled back, his back still facing towards you. “When you calm down and admit that you’re wrong-“
He knew what he was doing and he knew it was just pissing you off to a new extreme. So much so, you could feel the golden glow of your magic radiating off your hands that were balled into fists at your sides.
When Peter continued walking with his back turned towards you, refusing to speak to you further, you flicked your wrist causing the magical glow to spread out from your hand to your boyfriend, forcing him to turn around and face you, stopping him in his spot.
“Don’t walk away while I’m talking to you.” You told him, the anger radiating from your body in the from of the golden glow of your magic surrounding you.
“Did you just use magic on me?” Peter asked in a mix of shock, disgust and anger.
What the two of you didn’t realize in the midst of your fuming rage at each other was that the two of you had stopped in front of the common room. What you also hadn’t noticed was that the room was occupied by some of your... colleagues.
“Did she-“ Sam began.
“She did.” Nat finished.
Peter and you continued to argue back and forth about the audacity of the other, oblivious to the others hearing every word and watching the two of you throw harsh words at each other. It was an endless argument concerning who had the right to be angry and the unanswerable question of who was really at fault. During which the rest of the group of revelers in the common room watched and listened.
“Who wants the bet this is about that girl that kissed underoos?” Tony asked.
“That? That was so long ago though.” Steve replied.
“A girl never forgets.” Nat finished, kicking back in her seat. “How would you feel if you saw someone kissing your girlfriend.” She asked Steve.
“Never had one.” Steve shrugged.
An awkward silence filled the room for a brief moment before Sam began again.
“Steve’s right.” He said. “What about yesterday when Y/n saved that guy from getting his car thrown by that giant android and it turned out to be her ex-boyfriend?”
The group collectively nodded their heads, remembering the events of yesterday and that night when Peter had become more awkward than usual after you confessed the situation to him.
You had never seen Peter so jealous before. The two of you met after you and Peter had graduated high school and with your busy schedules you were barely finding time to hang out with your friends, never mind meet new guys. Peter and your’s relationship was usually one of romantic bliss. Despite the chaos and danger occurring in each of your lives, there was barely an argument between the two of you besides the occasional mention of that one time.
You told Peter later that night about how you recognized the guy you saved as your ex-boyfriend from high school.You didn’t expect much of a reaction considering you had dated the guy so long ago and you were wearing your mask that covered the upper half of your face to maintain your secret identity. It wasn’t even as though he could recognize you- you were just doing your job. You told Peter out of wanting to be honest with him, not because you thought it mattered- because it didn't. Peter upon your confession, however, was standoffish the remainder of the night seeming to be lost in his own head.
You didn’t give it much thought and decided to give him his own space until this morning when he confronted you about it, leading to the heated argument the two of you were in right now.
“Both of you are right.” Wanda finally spoke up.
Everyone in the room then turned their heads to face her.
“Did you... did you read their minds?”
“No.” She told them. “These walls aren’t very thick.”
“Should we stop them?” Steve asked.
To that, both you and Peter shouted “No!”
That was the moment though where you both suddenly realized that there was a whole room of people watching as you and Peter argued. Both of you stopped arguing suddenly and turned to face the room full of your colleagues.
“Did you... um... hear all of that?” Peter asked, cooling off from the heated argument you two shared seconds before as he fiddled with his fingers, unable to meet their eyes.
“Do you even know how loud you two were being?” Tony asked, standing up from his seat. “It’s impossible not to hear. Both of you have to drop it-”
“But Mr. Stark-” Peter began.
“Nope.” Tony cut him off. “No ‘buts’. Are you two even listening to yourselves?”
“Tony-” Steve started, attempting to intervene and have Tony drop the situation.
“Listen Rogers, I know you’ve been waiting decades for a first date, but someone has to play couples counselor here.” He told him matter-of-factly turning back to face the two of you. “You.” He pointed at you first. “That kid would never ‘cheat’ on you okay? He worships the ground you walk on so drop it. I’m sick and tired of hearing this frankly idiotic conversation every other week.”
At his words, you felt your fists unclench at your sides and your muscles relax. You knew he was right. As hurt as you were, you knew Peter would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. You knew he loved you just as much as- if not more than- you loved him.
Just as you were about to open your mouth, Tony began again- this time pointing at Peter.
“And you.” He began. Although you were looking at Tony, you could see your boyfriend stiffen in the corner of your eye. “What did you want her to do? Let that guy die because he... what? Took her on a few dates back in high school? You two have been to space together for god’s sakes. She was just doing her job and you know that.”
The two of you stood in front of Tony Stark himself now, knowing he was right, but not knowing what to say. You turned to look at Peter, seeing his shoulders slouched and his cheeks red likely from both the attention and embarrassment.
“You two can apologize now.” Tony said finally, striding back to the armchair he was sitting in prior to the lecture he gave the two of you and seating himself in it.
You and Peter turned to each other, visibly relaxing as you stared at each other. Despite the flaws the both of you had, you each cared for the other more than anyone else.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, being the first to apologize. “I’m sorry, Pete.” You apologized to him in almost a whisper. “I guess I was just hurt that you thought I could look at anyone else the way that I look at you.”
Peter sighed and you could see the sadness in his eyes that he felt from hurting you. You knew he never meant to hurt you and he was just hurt the same way you were.
“No... I’m sorry, Y/n.” He stepped forward to meet you, placing his hands gently on your arms that were wrapped around yourself. “It just sucked to think of you with some other guy.”
At his apology, you uncrossed your arms, instead reaching out for Peter’s hands. Squeezing his hands in yours you told him, “Peter, he doesn’t matter to me anymore. I love you.”
“Not just that, Y/n.” Although your words meant a lot to him, Peter shook his head. “I don’t know... sometimes I just think that you might want something more... I don’t know... normal. I can’t give you that normal, peaceful stuff so I guess I just get worried. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you though.”
Now it was your turn to shake your head as you gazed at your boyfriend. “Pete, you know I could never do normal” You chuckled. “I just got so angry at you that I had magic radiating off of me. Sure, normal would be easier, but I would choose crazy every day as long as I get to be with you.”
Finally you felt the last of the argument and rage that came with it disappear as a feeling of peace and calm washed over the two of you. You let go of Peter’s hands only to wrap them around his neck while his made their away around your torso.
“Gross.” Nat mumbled from her seat.
“I think I actually preferred when they were arguing.” Tony said in disgust.
You and Peter smiled at each other, able to hear the conversation between the others going on in the common room. You laughed as you looked into his eyes, slowly pulling your boyfriend into a kiss.
You and your boyfriend laughed into the kiss as you heard the group erupt into groans of disgust and annoyance. Although you and Peter didn’t have the perfect relationship and each of you had your flaws, at the end of the day you knew you would choose each other every time.
“Okay... Now do we stop them?”
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the-witty-pen-name · 4 years
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Deadbeat Pt. 3
Lee Bodecker x F!Reader
18+ ONLY 
Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), smut, cursing, abandonment, infatuation, cheating/divorce, angst, mild housewife kink, mentions of prostitution, mentions of alcohol, corrupt official 
Word Count: 4.7k
Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room.
A/N: I’m terrible at writing summaries and I’m so sorry about that! I don’t think I would consider this a dark!fic, but it does cover a lot of themes, and topics that are darker than I usually write about- but I think that comes with the territory of writing about Lee Bodecker. I’ll make sure to update the warnings for each chapter and do not read if you are underage. I also ignored canon for this one.
This is unedited, and I missed anything I should include as a warning let me know! This chapter introduces some new plots and conflicts, so it jumps around a little more than the previous ones. 
I hope you all enjoy!
I also am having some writer’s block with my Obi-Wan Kenobi miniseries I was working on, so expect Part 3 sometime Sunday hopefully! So sorry for the delay on the final chapter. 
Tags and Requests are OPEN 
Part One // Part Two 
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Henry Curtis was one of the most infuriating people Lee had ever met. Curtis was a writer for the Columbus newspaper and constantly pestering the Sheriff. Curtis seemed to have a sixth sense for whenever the Sheriff did anything. He was desperately trying to catch the Sheriff doing anything but so far had remained unsuccessful. Curtis was the biggest obstacle Lee faced in winning re-election. The man would show up out of nowhere, pen and pad in hand ready to find anything that would be enough to keep the Sheriff out of office.
Maybe Curtis was just doing his job, but Lee always felt like it was much more personal. It was probably just his own resentment of the man who was just doing his job. But the man didn’t have to be so goddamn invasive. When the Sheriff had devised his plan on offering to rent a room from you, he was so tied up in his own mess of divorce and his somewhat confusing feelings towards you he had completely forgotten about the press. They would have a field day with the divorce alone, but now on top of everything else, Lee knew he should be more careful.
Lee always had to be careful, especially if he was meeting Leroy Brown. Lee would make sure he drove way out of town, and always insisted they met at a different location every time. This would infuriate Brown but Lee was the only lawman he had working for him. Sometimes Lee would drive several hours out of the way, always at some deserted ghost town or some sad excuse for a diner or a bar. Always somewhere no one would recognize him.
Lee lied to you and told you he and a few of the deputies would need to drive out of town for a stakeout when he needed to meet with Brown. It was one of those nights, sitting in the cruiser with the headlights off, as he parked in an abandoned parking lot almost two hours out of town.
He had been able to put this off for a couple weeks, lying about other legitimate jobs getting in the way. Honestly, it was because he wanted to one, avoid anything that would cause suspicion from Henry Curtis hearing he was back in town and two, he was selfishly allowing himself to just spend his nights at his new home, spending all the time he could manage with you. It was like being in that little white house was a place where he could let himself be delusional, and time spent with you was what his life actually was, not this mess he was currently dealing with. He wanted out.
Lee knew he wasn’t a good man. He knew that his laundry list of offenses had tarnished his badge a long time ago. He knew what he was doing, and before he never cared. Now, he’s thinking about how his actions could affect you. You were innocent, unaware of everything he was stuck in. He knew you weren’t stupid, and he was sure the town knows some about his corruption. But now, he couldn’t rationalize away his actions for any reason when it came to you. Janie? She didn’t care and would encourage it. She’d be in on it too. She’d have no problem lying to ladies at Church or starting other rumors to keep the town talking about anyone but Lee. She was as power hungry as he was sometimes, which could be a testament as to how their loveless marriage held together for so long.
***
“Hi, I’m looking for a Ms. (Y/L/N)?” the man asked when he approached you, talking a seat at one of the barstools.
“Who’s asking for her?” you asked raising an eyebrow.
“I’m Henry Curtis, I work for the Columbus Dispatch.”
“The newspaper?”
“That’s the one.”
“Why are you looking for her?”
“I’m doing a story on her mother’s marriage to Harvey Tucker.”
“She’s not here tonight. But I can let her know you were here. Do you got a card?”
The man pulled out a business card from his wallet and slide it across the bar. You picked it up and read all the information before putting it in the pocket of your apron.
“Seems weird for the Columbus paper to want to do a story on that a month and a half after it happened,” you said skeptically.
“We did cover the story when it happened,” Curtis informed you. “Doing a follow up since the story broke about his wife missing.”
“Missing?” you ask. “Do they know what happened?”
“Robbed the bastard blind and then ran apparently,” Curtis said casually looking past you at the chalkboard on the wall. “Scotch, neat.”
“Yes, sir,” you reply, grabbing the bottle from the shelf. “Has anything else been found out yet?”
“Not yet, that’s why I’m here. Checking in to see if she’d come back here because I heard Ms. (Y/L/N) still lives around these parts.” He then pulled a newspaper out of the inside pocket of his coat and started flipping through the pages.
“She has another kid too, right?” you asked, playing dumb. “A boy, I think. Do you know where he is?”
“Couldn’t say,” he sounded very indifferent, “Most likely went with her but who knows? I went to the Sheriff’s office to see if they knew anything but the Sheriff wasn’t there.”
“That’s too bad,” you say. “I’m sure Sheriff Bodecker would help you help if he can.”
Your statement made Mr. Curtis chuckle, but you didn’t follow up on it. You were just focusing on getting as much information about your mother and brother as you could.
“Speaking of Mr. Bodecker,” he began, “I recently saw his wife is getting remarried. Saw the announcement of the engagement in the paper.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” you respond, skeptically. You didn’t know why but you didn’t trust this man. It was something in the tone of his voice, or maybe it was just how he held himself. Very polished, a suit and a nice dress jacket. He looked very out of place in this town, and this little bar.
“You familiar with the Sheriff at all, miss?”
“Not too well,” you shrug, “Haven’t had any run-ins with the law myself.”
“Not even a speeding ticket?” He asks, only a little condescendingly.
“Can’t get a speeding ticket if you don’t have a car,” you point out.
“Touché,” he chuckles before taking a sip of his drink.
He doesn’t ask you anymore questions, and when he leaves, he gives you a five-dollar tip.
***
Lee receives his cut from Brown. There was nothing new to report on that front and his meeting went by smoothly. All Lee had to do was to turn a blind eye, and make sure the rest of the department stays unaware of the brothel’s existence. Brown always insisted on meeting with him, wanting to know what the Sheriff’s department was investigating and making sure his businesses stayed under the radar. He felt sick, and is preoccupied with the fact he has an envelope of dirty money in the cruiser’s glovebox.
It’s around midnight when he pulls up to the house. He expects that you’re already asleep, but he notices the lamp is on in the living room. He takes the money out of his glovebox and tucks it away into the inner pocket of his jacket. Coming inside, he finds you on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, staring at the business card Mr. Curtis had given you. You face is stained with dried up tears, and you still haven’t even changed out of your work clothes.
“What’s that?” he asks, the sight of you breaking his heart. He winces because he comes off a lot harsher than he meant.
“Some reporter came while I was at work wanting to talk to me,” you explain softly, you sound exhausted. “Wanted to talk to me cause he’s doing a story on my mother. Apparently, she’s on the run from the Columbus police.”
You extend your hand to give Lee the card. He feels his jaw clench when he reads the information. “What happened?” he asks, taking a deep breath and sitting down next to you.
“I pretended I wasn’t me,” you say, another tear rolling down your cheek. “He came in asking for me so I said I’d pass his card on. I didn’t want to tell him who I was because he didn’t explain why he was looking for me at first. I don’t know- just scared me. I’m more upset about the news itself than him.”
“You did the right thing,” Lee said softly, placing a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. He was angry, but he didn’t show it. It worried him, fucking Curtis snooping around this close to you. It made him feel protective, wanting to shield you from the whole ordeal. He had been on the receiving end of unsolicited attention from the press and he knew how ruthless they were. He knew this wouldn’t be the only time Curtis would try to get in touch with you. He’d find out where you lived, he’d continue to show up while you were working- the whole nine yards. He didn’t want you going through that.
Curtis talking to you also made him incredibly paranoid. It was his two worlds that he desperately wanted to keep apart were colliding. He knew it was impossible, but he so wanted to keep you separated from the other part of his life. It wasn’t who he wanted you to see. Hell, he hasn’t even been here for a month. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep you in the dark, at least that wasn’t entirely intentional. Actually, he wasn’t sure, maybe it was intentional. However, it wasn’t just you he wanted to hide aspects of his life from. He wanted his involvement with Brown and others hidden from every goddamn registered voter. You were no different, he tried to rationalize. But that wasn’t true. These feelings he harbored for you, were getting worse. He needed to unwrap himself from this situation, and for the sake of you finding out he was a shill, keep you away from that asshole. He didn’t want to let himself think about how the way you look at him would change.
And here he was, making the situation all about him. It was in his nature.
“He’s just going to show up again if I don’t call him,” you say, wiping your eyes. “Maybe I should just call him in the morning. Just be honest and say I don’t know anything. He can keep coming around but nothing is going to change.”
“I can take care of it,” he says. He couldn’t risk you talking to Curtis again. For all he knows, Curtis would tell you all about the story on the Sheriff he’d been trying to confirm for years. Lee knew he couldn’t let that happen. He fully intends on telling you, but how the hell do you bring that up? ‘Hey doll, I’m also on the payroll of every pimp and bootlegger in a ten-mile radius, just letting you know.’ It wasn’t going to come up, unless Curtis tells you about it. He’d be hoping to pull himself out if it, show you how you made him want to be better.
For now, he settles for comforting you, and just being there to take care of you. Make you feel better. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and lets you cry into his chest. He sighs, kissing the top of your head in a friendly way and you curl up against him. Under different circumstances, you probably wouldn’t have let yourself do this- show your vulnerability or allow anyone to comfort you like this. But it was all the events of the past month, your mother leaving, everything, just all hitting you at once, and you were happy you weren’t alone.
In the morning, you wake up on the couch with a blanket over you. You see Lee asleep in the chair, and you realize he stayed with you all night. It makes your heart flutter. You pull the blanket up over your chin and close your eyes again. You felt surprisingly well rested. The stress and worry were pushed to the back of your mind long enough to let you get some sleep. It still lingered in the back of your mind, but you reminded yourself that for now, there was nothing you could do. You had the day off, and you let yourself have a little longer time to sleep in.
You woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of sizzling on the stove. When you opened your eyes, Lee was no longer in the chair. You sat up and looked toward the kitchen, where you saw Lee with his back to you while he worked with the pans on top of the stove. The portable radio was positioned on the counter, and it was playing at a low volume, so it wouldn’t wake you up.
“Hey,” you say softly, still waking up as you walk into the kitchen.
“Morning, doll,” he says, glancing back at you for a moment. “How’re you feeling?”
“A little better,” you admit, grabbing a mug for yourself out of the cabinet. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, savoring the smell before making it how you usually take it. “Thank you for sitting with me,” you say honestly, “you didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” he says with a small grin. “I just wanted to help.”
“I really appreciate it, Lee,” you reiterate your thanks, hopping up to take a seat on the counter, watching him cook breakfast. “Didn’t know you knew how to cook,” you joke, making him chuckle.
“I’m full of surprises, sweetheart,” he smirks, making you feel flushed. You take another drawn out sip of your coffee to try to distract yourself. You watch his arms, and his hands as they maneuver and flex when he cooks. You imagine how they must feel, your eyes focused on the veins. You bit your lip and it reminds you of the dream you had a little while back when he first moved in. You imagine him stepping in between your legs as your propped up on the counter, his hands gently gripping your thighs and-
“I’ll get it,” you announce hurriedly as you hear someone knock on the front door. You hop off the counter careful to not spill your coffee, and head to answer the door. Lee watches you bounce out of the room, fixing your hair as you go and you don’t catch his smile.
“Arvin,” you say surprised, stepping out onto the porch. “What are you doing here?” you ask, with a small grin. You’re confused but nonetheless happy to see him.
“You look like you’ve been crying,” he observes, concern written all over his face.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say dismissively, “Just last night I was thinking about my ma and everything. Just had trouble sleeping is all.”
“The Sheriff didn’t do anything?” Arvin asked in a hushed tone, looking over your shoulder to see if Lee could hear you two.
“No, nothing, he’s been perfectly fine,” you say coming to the Sheriff’s defense. “I know you and Ms. Russell are worried, I know how it must look- but Arvin I swear he’s just my tenant. He’s been nothing but a gentleman.”
“Just making sure,” he says, letting it go for now. “Lenora asked me to bring these by for you.” He hands you the glass baking dish that you can see is filled with homemade cinnamon rolls. “She’s been practicing making all kinds of baked goods for when the Church does that bake sale and has me running all over town giving it away cause me and Uncle Earskell can’t keep up with it all.”
“Tell her thank you for me,” you say with a smile, “And I’ll bring the dish with me to Church tomorrow- give it back to her.”
“She misses you I think,” Arvin says sheepishly, pushing his hands into his front pockets. “I mean- I do- I think my whole family does- we all do. I’m sorry my grandmother hasn’t asked you over in a while…”
“I understand,” you nod. “Reputation is an important thing.”
“I just didn’t want you to think it was because of us,” he says looking down at the porch, his eyes fixed on a loose board. “You know how she is- everything no matter the context is somehow a sin. Scared to death of her own shadow…”
“I know you’re not that resentful, Arvin Russell,” you chuckle and he relaxes. “And I don’t hold any hard feelings towards anyone in your family- you all have always been good to me.”
“Well, um,” he says awkwardly, looking like he was holding back from saying more. “I got to hit a couple more houses before I head to work, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at Church?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Oh- I wanted to let you know,” he says, turning around as he’s already heading down the front steps, “The principal down at the high school is looking for secretaries- Lenora heard and thought you might be interested. It pays like $35 a week, I think. You should call Linda Carson; I think Lenora said- that’s the woman who’s in charge of hiring people, I think.”
“I’ll call the school first thing Monday morning,” you say, grin stretching from ear to ear. Arvin nods and says goodbye again. You walk back into the house like you’re on top of the world. You couldn’t contain your excitement. That job if you could get it would be a dream. You’d be making so much more than you’re already making. You were so excited.
“You’re in a much better mood than when I last saw you,” Lee jokes. He’s sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper while he eats his breakfast. You notice that he made you a table setting- brought your coffee over and everything. You place the baking dish in the middle of the table and sit down.
“That was Arvin,” you say happily, and Lee feels his heart sink into his stomach.
“Oh yeah?” he asks, trying to not let on how his heart feels like it’s crushed. He knew it was only a matter of time before a boy would come around- whether it be Arvin or someone else your own age.
“Well, first he was just dropping off baked goods Lenora made,” you say gesturing to the dish on the table. “He’s going around to everybody, I guess. He mentioned the high school is looking for office secretaries- Lenora wanted me to know. Thirty-five dollars a week! I’m going to talk to Linda Carson about it Monday morning. Can you imagine? I could get a secretary job.”
Lee feels just a crash of relief wash over him. He’s so happy that you are looking at a new job. You deserve better than that bar. He knew you deserved the job just as much as any of the other candidates. You work harder than anyone he knows.
“That’s fantastic, sugar,” he replies. “You deserve it.”
“Do you think I have a chance?” you ask, feeling a little self-conscious- you knew you weren’t as experienced as other candidates would be for sure.
“Of course, I do,” he says, putting down the paper to give you his full attention. “I feel like you getting this job is a definite. There’s no doubt about it.”
“You’re just buttering me up,” you scoff, finishing up your food, making him chuckle. You may have also seen his cheeks redden, but you couldn’t say for sure. You finish off your coffee, and then bring you dishes back to the kitchen, leaving them in the sink. Lee turns his attention back to his newspaper and you head upstairs to get ready for your day.
When you head upstairs, Lee notices that you took the radio with you- and he could hear you were listening to music from upstairs. He decides before it’s too late to ring Mark Cunningham. The line rings a couple of times before Mark answers.
“Cunningham.”
“Morning, Mark. It’s Sheriff Bodecker,” he smirks.
“What can I do for you Sheriff?” he asks, the sound of shuffling paper comes through as well. Most likely flipping through the paper.
“I wanna call in that favor you owe me,” he says, casually pacing the living room, holding the receiver up to his ear and the base of the rotary phone in the other.
“Of course, Sheriff,” he says. A while back, Bodecker busted the principal making moonshine in his old barn that was at the end of his property. Lee looked the other way and was waiting for the right thing to call in a favor for.
“I want you to hire (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for the secretary job,” he says, looking to the stairs, making sure you aren’t coming. The music is still playing loudly from upstairs so he determines he’s still got time.
“That’s all?” Mark asked surprised.
“That’s all I want from you,” Lee replies. “I expect you can make that happen?”
“Without a doubt. When can she start?”
“Still have her come in for an interview. I don’t anyone else knowing I called you about this- including her.”
“Done.”
With that, Lee hangs up the phone, feeling really good about this decision. He knew how much that job meant to you- he could see it in your eyes and how excitedly you talked about it. He can’t wait to see you when you find out you get the position. He knows it’s going to make you so happy. He knows you’d be a fantastic candidate, but this just eliminates any doubt. He reasons that there isn’t much difference, since you were very likely to get it anyways. He just had to make sure.
He can picture you know, coming home from the interview- excited to tell him that you got the job. You’d be so excited you’d jump up and hug him tightly, just so overjoyed that you let your feelings take over. You’d wrap your legs and around his waist and he’d hold you up by holding the back of your thighs. You’d wrap your arms tightly around him and bury your head in the crook of his neck. You’d lift your head up to look at him, embarrassed at your actions and then he’d press his lips to yours. You’d gasp softly, but your lips would melt against his own and your arms would wrap tightly around his neck. He’d walk forward, pressing you up against the wall and he’d kiss your neck mumbling praises of congratulations against your skin as his name falls from your lips at how good he’d make you feel. It’s almost unbearable how bad he wants you.
He heads to him room to get ready for his day, but his mind is still clouded with thoughts of you. He thinks about how much he wants nothing more that to just pin you on his mattress. He wonders if you know how crazy you make him. Sometimes there’s something in your eye that makes him think you want him too, but he’s not sure. His better judgement holds him back from everything he wants to do. He thinks about how it must feel to have his head right in-between your thighs. Back in the kitchen together, he wanted to just get on his knees and worship you. The feeling of them pressing against him as he sucks on your clit and runs his tongue across your folds.
Serval hours later, he can’t shake the thoughts, even sitting in his office at the sheriff’s station- working on a Saturday yet again. He’s cooped up in his office, unable to get through any of the paperwork that has piled up on his desk. He’s thinking about you, again, but in this daydream, you’re bent over his desk- because you came by to see him on your break from work at the school. His office door locked and his blinds pulled so he can bend you over and take you right there- rough and fast, sending you back to work with a feeling of him still there between your legs well after you’re back at your own desk, still sore from the encounter.
“You got a visitor, Lee,” the intercom on his desk lights up.
“Send ‘em in,” he responds back, shaking his head to snap out of it. He needed to get a grip.
“Sorry I didn’t call,” you say, walking into his office. His eyes widen and he wonders if he’s still day dreaming. He discreetly pinches himself. You’re actually here, standing in his office, while he looks at you dumbfounded. Part of him would think he manifested it if he was a man of any faith. “You forgot this,” you say, putting his wallet on the desk. “You must have taken it out of your back pocket before falling asleep in the chair last night. It was laying on the coffee table. I figured I’d stop by with it while I was coming up this way anyways.”  
“You’re a doll,” he grins, putting his wallet in his back pocket. “What are you doing?”
“I took the bus to the library to return some books, and now I’m going shopping for something to wear when I go in for an interview since I have the day off to go,” you explain. “I’m also probably going to get lunch after that before heading back home. I just didn’t want to be home in case that reporter stopped by. I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”
“I can take care of it,” he says, “He’ll make his way over here soon enough. I can talk to him.”
“You would do that for me?” you ask, the relief evident across your whole face.
“Yeah, I can talk to him, let him know you gave a statement here,” he says. You nod. “You know as much as he does, so it doesn’t matter if I tell him you don’t know shit or if you tell him.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh, so relieved thinking that you won’t have to hear from Henry Curtis again. “If he tells you anything about them… will you let me know?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
“Thank you,” you say, hurriedly walking over behind him and quickly hugging his shoulders. You then are back by the door again before he can register the gesture. “Are you going to be home tonight?” you ask, your hand on the doorknob.
“Not until late,” he says reluctantly, and he can see the disappointment on your face- unless his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Okay,” you say finally, “Um, I’ll see you later then.”
“Bye, doll,” he says when you walk out of his office.
Are you going to be home tonight? Your voice lingers in his head. It was such a harmless phrase that could’ve just been one of curiosity. Maybe you were just asking because you were thinking about what you were doing for dinner. It most likely just meant nothing. But, the look on your face when he said no makes him think otherwise. Did it mean you cared? That you wanted to spend time with him? You wanted to see him and be with him as desperately as he needed you perhaps? Just the phrasing itself makes his brain feel like putty. It’s like you’re waiting up for him. It’s like you share the house in a way that’s much more than just him renting a room from you. It’s like you’re his and he’s yours. It’s like saying our house… our home. The question was so intimate and implied so much more about how you saw him and what he was to you. He knew seeing him as how he saw you was next to impossible, but you saw him as more than the Sheriff and more than just the jerk living in your house.
Part Four
 Taglist:
@scar-is-bi @jiminlife2k18 @asylummaniac01​ @rosalynshields​ @charmed-asylum @jamesbuchananbuckybarnes1917 @alexandrathegreat3
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Mick Mercury's Failed Attempt At Espionage
Summary: Mick Mercury was easily the most incompetent person Peter had ever met, and it infuriated him how long it took for them to be introduced. Notes: There is a severe lack of Mick Mercury in Season 3, and that will not stand, so I put him in.
Read it on Ao3
Fic:
"JJ! Hey! JJ! Hello? Can you hear me?"
Peter would not have made any connection to the aforementioned 'JJ,' and Juno Steel had he not been glowering at the petulant ex-detective when the unfamiliar man called out and seen how Juno had tensed at the voice.
The large man made a noise of annoyance, and oh God, he's walking towards Juno. Peter wasn't worried for the lady, he was wholly aware Juno knew how to handle himself, but Peter had yet to foresee an outcome of this conversation that didn't blow their cover.
"Juno Steel!" the man yelled as Juno continued to ignore him. 
It was, unfortunately, very clear who he was addressing, and the woman Juno had been flirting with gave him a confused look. Peter would be lying if that didn't please him ever so slightly, but, as always, he filed that feeling away for later and went to save Juno's ass.
"Dear," Peter called out, attempting to get into the act of a doting husband, which had recently become much more difficult for him. Juno glanced at him appreciatively and went to stand at his side, where Peter promptly put an arm around his waist.
“You gave me a bit of a scare Mercury,” Juno said, looking at Peter for confirmation he wasn’t being dumb. Peter nodded ever so slightly as permission to continue. “Haven’t heard my maiden name in a while, no one’s called me that- well- since the wedding!” Juno forced a laugh that sounded more nervous than casual, but the woman he was talking with looked like she understood which- okay. That bothered Peter because that meant she was okay with flirting with a married man, but whatever, filed away.
“Wedding?” Mercury yelled. “JJ, You never told me anything about any wedding.”
“Listen, Mick, I know you're upset, but can we talk in private,” Juno’s eyes flickered to the woman he’d been speaking with, and Mick- Mick Mercury. What a fucking name- nodded. Juno led Mercury to a private corner of the ballroom, and Peter followed automatically. Mick gave Juno a look, but Juno returned it with one of his own, and Mick dropped whatever he was thinking. Peter couldn’t decide if it was frustrating or charming that they could hold a conversation without speaking. He settled on frustrating, simply because they were clearly close, and Juno had never thought to mention him. Granted, Peter wasn’t sure why that frustrated him, but it did. Another thing to file away.
The exact second they’d arrived at their designated corner, Mick spun on his feet. “Okay, what the hell, J? I always thought when you got married I’d at least get invited! I mean, obviously, I thought Benten or- hell, even Sasha would be man/maid of honor, but I thought I’d get an invite!” Juno tensed at the mention of Benzaiten, and Peter subconsciously put a hand on his lower back. Juno tensed more at this, but after a moment, relaxed. Mick continued on, oblivious. “And come on Juno, how long have you ever known this guy? We saw each other recently, and you didn’t even think to mention him?! I mean, I know we’ve grown apart since I almost got you killed by a serial killer lady, but come on, man!”
Juno gave Mick an incredulous look. “Okay, first of all, last time we saw each other, a robot made you try to kill me, not exactly the best time to bring it up. Second-”
“Second…” Peter interrupted before he, himself knew what he was doing. “We’ve known each other for three years. And my apologies for the lack of notice, Mick. See, I lead a very dangerous life, and my lady and I thought it safer to keep knowledge of my existence away from anyone who wasn’t trained in combat. And also Rita, but mainly because she tapped Juno’s comms and listened in on a very…”
“Oh my god!”
“Sorry, dear. I forgot how easily flustered you are.”
Mick gave Peter an appraising look for a second before deciding the answer was good enough for him and moving on. “So if you live such a dangerous life,” he lowered his voice to a -frankly terrible- whisper, “Then what are you doing here?”
Peter lowered his voice conspiratorially, “I really shouldn’t tell you this but, we’re on a secret mission. ‘Above Dark Matters’ secret. How about you?” This was a ridiculous cover, but he’d gotten away with stranger, besides, he was a little distracted by the woman Juno had been speaking to, looking their way, hungrily, no doubt at his companion. Peter’s grip around Juno tightened, and, to his surprise, Juno leaned into it.
“Really? Above Dark Matters? Juno, that’s great! Wow, Sasha must’ve flipped when you told her!”
“I didn’t Mercury, that’s what secret means. And I didn’t tell her about the mister either, and if you do, I’ll gut you like a fish.”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Good. Hey, my husband asked a good question, why are you here?”
“I thought it might be good to get off of Mars after the whole Newtown debacle, so I got a job at a catering company, and then I got fired for eating all of the cupcakes, so I decided to join the party, and they haven’t noticed yet.”
Juno snickered. "Glad to see you're back to normal."
"Yeah, me too. Being responsible was exhausting, even with the good habits some of it brought. Anyways, I'll get back to the party, let you two plan out your secret mission," Mick finished that statement walking backward and, when it was finished, promptly ran into a plant. 
"What was that about?" Juno asked. "I mean, I get that you had to lie to him, but why... That?"
"Why did you leave me in that hotel room?" Peter asked. He'd meant it as a joke, at Juno's expense, of course, but it came off a bit more genuine than he would have liked.
Juno flinched, and for a moment, all Peter wanted to do was sweep him up in a hug, apologize for bringing it up and move on, but Peter was allowed to be angry. After what felt like an eternity but was probably 5 seconds tops, Juno spoke, "We need to talk about that eventually. You know. If we're gonna be working together."
"And we will, Dear Detective, but not right now. I believe the bidding is starting soon."
---
The bidding did not go as planned. While Peter would like to claim it was entirely the fault of his accomplice, he would be dishonest if he did so, and Peter Nureyev lied to many people, but not himself. Mostly.
Their new plan was as followed, Juno would continue to distract Ms. Zolotovna -the woman, who'd been eyeing him all night- and Peter would swipe it while nobody- not even the cameras- was looking. The first flaw of this plan came from one Mick Mercury, who was really starting to piss Peter off.
Mick had cornered him while he was making his rounds to destroy all the cameras.
"Hey! Uh... I never got your name, but Juno's husband!"
Peter turned around a little more aggressively than he meant to. "Yes?" He asked, already on his last nerve.
"I- uhh... listen, bud, this conversation is gonna be real awkward if you don't give me something to call you."
Peter quickly scanned his brain for a moniker he'd used with Juno, one that the lady may have mentioned to Mick in passing but not have gone into too much detail. There was only one with the chance of fitting the bill. "Rex. My name is Rex."
Mick's eyes lit up with recognition, and Peter immediately regretted his decision to use a name that had been plastered all over Hyperion to a native of the area. But there didn't seem to be any panic in Mick's eyes. Just... worry.
"Listen," Mick said, more serious than he had been all night. "I don't wanna give you some shovel talk. I'm sure you already got that from Rita." Peter had, which was strange considering Juno swore up and down that he never mentioned their past relationship. "But I just want you to know that, when all that went down, and you left, you really broke his heart. So just- be careful this time, okay? You and I both know he's more delicate than he lets on, and I can tell from the way you look at him that you love him, so just don't mess it up. Please?"
There was a definite moment where Peter stopped breathing until he remembered Juno and he were posing as newlyweds. He then forced his well-practiced laugh and asked, "Am I that obvious?"
"Yeah, like the way you were glaring at Ms. Zolotovna? You looked like you wanted to kill her! Oh! But you don't have to worry about that. Juno looked like he was just as close to killing her as you were, and I don't think he's ever cheated in his life. Well, there was that one time, in second grade when he-"
Mercury went on rambling for a while. He and Rita would get along swimmingly. Not that Peter was paying attention. No, he was far too busy staring into space. Apparently, Mick thought he was jealous of Ms. Zolotovna. Which, of course, couldn't be farther from the truth. He'd just been bothered that Juno would allow himself to become so distracted, that was all... Mostly.
Looking at him with Zolotovna felt wrong. Of course, it felt wrong, Peter tried to convince himself. Once upon a time, he had been in love with Juno. Even if those feelings had since dissipated it still made his stomach churn to think of Juno with anyone else. Maybe that wasn't healthy. Peter was starting to think maybe Juno was right about them needing to talk. But now was not the time nor the place for a heart. Just another thing for him to file away.
Right, Mercury was talking to him. God, Peter really needed to swipe that map so they could get out of there. "Well, Mick. I can assure you, I'd sooner die than hurt Juno. Will that be all?"
Mick seemed to have been interrupted mid-sentence, but he was friends with Juno, so Peter assumed he was used to it. "Oh! No, Juno wanted me to go get you for your-" he dropped his voice to a stage whisper "-secret-ay mission-ay."
Peter's brain stopped for a solid second. "Was that- was that meant to be Pig Latin?"
"No," Mick said, winking dramatically.
Peter followed Mick, a tad bit shaken by the implication that Mick Mercury didn't know what Pig Latin was in the slightest until the pair eventually reached Juno.
"Took you long enough, what? Were you stuck in a flowerpot?" The lady asked when they'd reached him.
Peter laughed, not entirely sure who the question was directed at. "Mick tells me you have a plan?"
"Not a plan, an observation. There's a camera trained on the map, one which you won't have time to dismantle before the dance begins in-" Juno looked at the grand clock in the center of the room "-4 minutes."
Peter grimaced in thought before eventually coming up with a solution. "Mick, when I give you a signal, try to get caught. Juno and I'll give you a lift back to Mars."
Peter was expecting some resistance from Mick, but he just nodded enthusiastically, "Okay, Rex. Uhh... I'm not really used to all this spy stuff. What's the signal?"
Peter only thought for a moment before coming up with an answer, "I'll trip on my heels."
Juno laughed, "Babe, that's a shit idea. What if you actually trip?"
Peter pointedly ignored the feeling in his chest when Juno called him 'babe' and instead responded, "I don't trip, dear."
Juno blushed and began to argue before being interrupted as the dance began. Peter silently held his hand out for Juno to take, and the lady barely hesitated before taking it.
Once they were far enough from Mick, Juno began to snicker softly to himself.
"What?"
"Feeling nostalgic, Rex?"
Peter laughed along with him. "What? It's the only name I could imagine you bringing up. Granted, I didn't expect it to stick with Mercury, but uh... I'm-"
"Don't. At least you had a reason. I was just scared."
"Of what?"
"Later, Nureyev," Juno whispered.
As they walked onto the dance floor, Peter could almost laugh with delight. Zolotovna hadn't been tracking his companion this entire night. She'd been tracking him. Maybe that said something about his self-confidence, maybe it said something about his affection for Juno, or maybe all it said was he would not make a very good detective. Either way, there would be a slight change in their normal routine.
"Juno, I do believe you'll have to be the one to swipe the map, someone seems to be watching me."
'Ugh! She's still doing it? That's messed up. Like our cover is as a married couple, and she has no problem making goo-goo eyes at you!"
Peter laughed, "Madam Dauphine, are you jealous?" 
Juno gave him a smirk, "Of course not, Monsieur Dauphine. I know you have better taste than that."
"I must've if I married you."
Juno gave him a smile. Not the snarky one Peter'd been expecting. A soft smile, one full of admiration. Peter remembered this smile, right after they'd stopped Miasma, and Juno miraculously survived, bleeding from one eye and looking at Peter as if he'd been the one locking himself in a room about to explode.
"What's with that look?" Peter asked.
"Nothing," Juno said. "I just forgot how fun it is to work with you when you aren't pretending to be someone else."
Peter grinned at Juno as they separated. Him going to distract Zolotovna, Juno going to swipe a billion-dollar artifact.
---
Their plan had gone off without a hitch, Zolotovna was rambling on with some love confession, or the other, and Peter was pretending to listen, watching in awe as Juno gracefully swiped their prize from behind his glasses. Peter had come up with some logical reason to reject Zolotovna, guessing she wouldn't be all too satisfied with the excuse of "I'm happily married," something about organized crime. He doesn't remember. Even managed to get a little over a billion creds from her.
He then made his way over to Juno. Planning on waiting a few minutes to escape into the crowd before signaling Mercury. And as he made his way to Juno, a golden goddess, a perfect image of beauty and grace, with his dark brown skin and curly hair and the scars scattered across his skin. Peter did the unthinkable. He tripped. Too distracted by the image in front of him to notice his misstep. That is until Mercury started taunting the guards.
Then he, Juno, and Mercury were running across the yard to where Jet was waiting with the car. At some point, Peter's arm had ended up around Juno's waist, likely when he nearly fell over trying to throw his heels off and grabbed onto Peter for stability. They finally reached the car, and Juno threw open the door, the three of them clamoring in at top speed.
"Hello, Ransom, Juno. Who's this?" Jet asked in the same deadpan tone, as always.
"We'll tell you later, now fucking drive!" Juno rushed, a little breathless.
"Alright, then. Buckle your seatbelts."
"Go!"
---
When they got back to the ship, Buddy spent approximately 30 minutes rotating between tearing Peter and Juno to shreds for their performance and greeting Mick and asking if he was staying for dinner. She did, however, agree to bring Mick back to Mars before making their way to their next mission.
Later, Peter and Buddy had a much kinder conversation. One that brought up an emotion that Peter had not felt in a very long time. Familial love. He would try not to think too much of it, but an undeniable comfort had begun to settle into Peter's stomach.
There was another knock on the door after she left, and he already knew who it was. Finally, after nearly a year, it was later.
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reynie-muldoons · 3 years
Text
'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!
for real this time lmfao
book and show spoilers below
I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay
0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch
1:35 this music is BUMPIN
2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her
2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬
2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment
3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂
4:00 Kate vented.......
4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit
5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo
6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going
6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??
6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂
6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD
6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES
7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!
7:06 please let it be reunion time
7:25 oh hello that's a drop
7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it
7:51 she craves that mineral
8:06 Sticky, my child
8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭
8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH
8:34 STICKY STOPPPP
8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say
8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form
8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED
9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call
9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP
9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation
9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later
9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.
10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.
10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch
10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???
10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T
10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????
11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up
11:15 BUCKET NO
11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view
11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE
11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS
11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!
11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"
12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING
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12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING
12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN
12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would
12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent
12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????
12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!
13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND
13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT
13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there
13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that
13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G
13:36 here we fuckin go
13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place
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13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow
13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!
14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue
14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person
14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ
15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think
15:09 KATE THE GREAT
15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE
15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny
15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????
15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?
15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is
15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together
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15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good
16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS
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16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭
16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does
16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl
16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people
17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.
17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan
17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop
17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO
17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar
17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow
18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭
18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.
18:13 BUCKET!!!
18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao
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18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha
18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭
18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain
18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭
19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK
19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility
19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN
20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better
20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS
21:35 yikes yikes yikes
22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him
22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭
22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR
23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get
23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor
24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through
24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER
24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.
26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me
26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY
26:58 MADGE!!!!
27:16 she's so prettyyyyy
27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!
27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????
28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????
28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺
28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺
28:48 roll credits
29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling
29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge
29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt
29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO
29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD
29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????
30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!
30:11 MADGEEEE
30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child
30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly
30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA
31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨
31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA
32:10 OH HEY MARTINA
32:17 wait 🥺
32:22 that has to be SQ :)
32:28 hi sweet boy
32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it
32:39 LMFAOOOOO
32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies
32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER
33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??
33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface
34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole
34:33 that man's voice is buttery
34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????
35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??
35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????
35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺
36:14 why does that look like a body bag
36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina
36:25 yep, that's about what I expected
36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you
37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will
37:12 everything makes much more sense now
37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time
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37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING
37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH
38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬
38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK
38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP
38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???
38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭
39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂
39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed
39:41 KATE!!
40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit
40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful
40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son
40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH
40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me
40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity
41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!
41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head
41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question
41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably
42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD
42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????
43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed
43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT
44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL
44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are
44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN
44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH
44:35 I simply adore him
44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man
44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well
45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?
45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes
45:31 FUCKIN YIKES
45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK
45:47 well that's not good
46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD
46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please
46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????
46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING
46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle
THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!
How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????
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Cross the Ocean
A/N: Requested by @starry--skies​. Sidenote: this may be a good story for a sequel sometime.
Summary: Neal once told you he would cross the ocean to be with you, but when you know he’s in danger, you’ll cross the ocean yourself to save him.
Word Count: 2,955
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           How could an apartment feel so cold and empty when the same number of people dwelled in its walls? You supposed it had been long enough that all the signs of him had faded. Spare clothes, returned to June, because there was no one else to return them to; the extra toothbrush trashed because no one was using it, anyway, and why have it take up more space? The linens could only go unwashed for so long, the last flowers he had offered died months ago, and his necklace was sitting in your jewelry box, unseen, because it hurt too much to wear it.
           The same number of people lived in it, true. But Neal hadn’t needed to live there to leave his mark, and now that mark was gone, jumped on a plane without a goodbye, just like him.
~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~
           “Don’t go,” you said, unprompted, staring across the room to the dark shadows covering the wall.
           You could feel his movement as Neal picked up his head. “Where would I go?” He asked, confused, sleepiness adorably muddling his voice.
           You shrugged halfheartedly, already regretting having said it out loud. He felt your shoulders under his arm and tightened his warm hold on you, tugging you closer to the heat of his chest.
           “Just don’t go,” you said again, hugging yourself comfortingly.
           The idea that the man beside you could leave – had a history of leaving – without a trace left you feeling cold already. You were a cautious person, but loving someone the way you suspected you were growing to love Neal made you want to let down your guard. It was scary, like taking off the Kevlar vest to assuage someone with a gun; you were reasonably certain that you were safe, but you were also making yourself vulnerable to massive injury.
           Neal moved his hand slowly, probably just so you would know that he hadn’t fallen asleep. He didn’t answer right away. The silence and the stroking of your arm sent mixed messages and you had just about settled on reading it as pity, and almost curled up tighter and moved away. Did he think you were clingy? Did he think it was pitiful that you expected him to stay with you? Maybe you had misread everything.
           His hand stopped moving and he moved again, just enough to press his lips to your forehead. “Y/N,” he said, softly, his voice clearer. Thinking on it had woken him up more. “I don’t plan to go anywhere. Definitely not anywhere you can’t follow.”
           Whew. There was a softness and delicateness to the way he talked to you, but it sure didn’t sound like pity or exasperation. More like… empathy, and maybe apology, for your evident insecurity and any role that his past played in it.
           “I guess I just – I keep thinking one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be an ocean away.” Without me, you wanted to add, but figured it was implied. And unnecessary, probably, since he had done it to Kate before, or close enough. He had likely learned the kind of damage that did to a relationship.
           Neal resumed his gentle stroking of your arm. “Oceans aren’t a big deal. We’ve got cruises and airplanes now,” he reassured with a playful bit of teasing. More seriously, but very simply and matter-of-factly, he continued, “And if someday we wake up an ocean apart, I’d cross the ocean.”
~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~
           It was easy to be bitter and easy to resent. In the beginning, you had been insecure, nervous that he would leave overnight when an opportunity arose. How could you not? Neal tried to leave forever without so much as a goodbye to anyone, only stopped by a bomb and a lost love. It had irked you then, and it scared you when your rapport deepened. He had fake documents ready to go, an agreed-upon rendezvous point with Mozzie planned for any given time. Neal worked hard to assure you he loved you. You weren’t sure he ever managed to convince you there was no chance of his leaving, but you at least had confidence that he would say goodbye, give you a chance to have closure.
           No such luck. Part of you knew it wasn’t out of lack of desire, but rather lack of opportunity. The other part wanted it to shut up. Love him as you did, you knew Neal’s situation was a product of his own choices. He made his bed, and he should have lied in it, but for the family he had found in the city who loved him too much to let him rot in the pocket of a man who’d use him as a tool and throw him back in prison the second he stopped being useful – or, worse, leave him to die when it became too much trouble.
           Whenever you embraced the anger, because the sorrow was too overwhelming, you resented Neal for all his stupid choices. Keeping the painting, pulling those stunts on the aerial tramway, and baiting Kramer for months with constant near-misses that could’ve been avoided if he had just stopped breaking the law. It was such a simple solution. And you were angry. The last six months of your relationship had been rocky, because the anger wasn’t new, it wasn’t just because he had gone away. It was because he kept compromising himself, and his coworkers and friends by extension, and yourself by association.
           Holding onto anger was never your forte when it came to Neal, though. Sooner or later, usually within a couple of days, you would see or hear or do something that would remind you of the man, and you’d be hit with a wall of all the good memories, all the things he did that made you feel pride and adoration and contentment. Then came the longing and loss, and finally, the blame. The blame that you had just failed to pin on Neal himself, so you embraced the bitterness instead.
           Peter had one job and instead, he turned Neal loose. Gave him the green light to run. At least if Neal had gone with Kramer, there was the chance of a happy ending. There was a reasonable chance that, with the WCCD at his back, Kramer wouldn’t be able to keep Neal past the two years left on his original sentence, and when it was over he could have come home. Peter had ruined any chance of that, his silent gesture telling Neal that there was no alternative and that he had the approval of his family here. Most importantly, that nod was a goodbye, and acceptance, and an “I love you, so I’m letting you be free”. You’d never begrudged Neal his close relationship with Peter but you felt cheated that, on top of ruining any slight chance of your partner returning to you, he got to say goodbye while you were left blindsided and heartbroken.
           The first time you resorted to bitterness to cope, it lasted several weeks. You avoided Peter and dodged his team. They were worried, and El reached out, but you politely assured her you were fine and just didn’t want to see any of them. She respected your wishes and must have told her husband because he, Diana, and Clinton all stopped trying to find you. Neal’s friends were like salt in your wounds, even the ones who hadn’t told him to go. It was too deep and too fresh to handle the reminders. Hell, you could still barely handle your own apartment. You really didn’t know how deeply in love you were until Neal was gone.
           It took longer, but the bitterness and betrayal ran its course and became exhausting, as well. Finally, you cycled back into sadness and mourning, which took so much out of you but demanded so little. Roses made you cry because you thought of the roses Neal would give you. So did your favorite dress, which was only your favorite because it was his favorite, too. Tiny things that you could expect to encounter at least once every few days would make you feel hopeless. You were grieving, as if he had died. Knowing he was alive and well didn’t soothe the pain because the permanence of his decision to flee the authorities put him so out of your reach, he might as well have died.
           Every run through the stages hurt a little bit less, wound up a little bit shorter. You were healing, you knew, but the ache in your heart persisted. Learning to function again, learning to be prosperous and content without him, was an option, no matter how impossible it seemed on some days. On those days, you weren’t sure you even wanted to. Neal had earned such a place in your life and in your heart, and even when the things he did made you see red, you still knew in both heart and mind that he loved you and was yours. Some little piece of you wanted to still be his, so that you could keep that connection, that last thing you had of him.
           That little piece was such an asshole.
~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~
           A deep delve into your professional life helped keep you occupied so you didn’t think too hard. It wasn’t the healthiest way of processing a breakup, no matter how messy or devastating said breakup was. Still, it was better to be productive and helpful than to let yourself continue spiraling and cycling through destructive emotions and patterns. The summer passed agonizingly slowly but when you looked back, it was like the blink of an eye. Suddenly it had been a whole season since you had last seen Neal. The romantic side of you wanted to say that it hurt just as much as it had before, but… it didn’t.
           You felt awful thinking it, and then awful for feeling awful for having a life after him. Neal was gone. He had no choice about leaving New York, but he did have a choice about how, and he chose the route that left no possibility of a reunion. Why the hell should you wait around for him, wishing you kept hurting for a man who clearly was more interested in his freedom than in recovering what you had together?
           Going home the day you had that thought, you looked at the button for the 21st floor and for the first time in a long time, you actually thought about just poking your head in and seeing how Neal’s other friends were doing, and then you realized the anger was running out. You didn’t have the energy or the will to keep deliberately resenting Neal or Peter.
~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~
           By August, you could look back on everything and understand the decisions that were made. You didn’t agree with them, but you understood the desperation fueling them and the fear that Neal must have felt. The moment Neal’s handler, whoever that was, tied his hands and threw him aside, the man was as good as dead, just in a matter of time. Kramer wasn’t above that. If he were free – even just by flight – Neal could protect himself. You could forgive him for leaving, but you weren’t sure he was forgiven for leaving without even a phone call to you as he booked it to the airport.
           Later that month, though, your personal grievances didn’t seem to matter all that much. A man approached you while you were at work. You thought he was the man you’d asked to come answer some questions, but no – you were the one being questioned. He was cynical, evasive, and exacting, and clearly after information on Neal.
           As soon as he left, you went to the twenty-first floor and beelined for Peter’s office, ignoring the tentative, sympathetic greetings from familiar faces. Peter glanced up when you entered and then did a shocked double-take. It was the first time you had voluntarily approached him in months, after all.
           Peter stood up so quickly his chair legs scraped loudly on the floor. “Y/N,” he said right away, but then obviously had no idea where he was trying to go, unable to figure out what to say. You could see the sympathy and sorrow on his face. Not only did you lose your partner, and Peter had lost his friend, but the other agent had encouraged your partner to leave. He knew from your avoidance that you blamed him, at least partially.
           With a wave of your hand, you dismissed it. Nothing Peter could say would fix the situation. You knew what he had done was in Neal’s best interests, weighing his wellbeing over your feelings. Where Neal wasn’t forgiven, Peter was, finally, and the avoidance that remained was just about trying to distance yourself from reminders of your blue-eyed artist.
           “Someone just came asking questions about Neal,” you said, crossing your arms and peering across the office at Peter. “Agent Collins. He said he’s just tying up loose ends, but he’s not, is he?”
           Peter’s openmouthed surprise turned into a grim purse of his lips. He shook his head, looking frustrated, and gestured for you to close the door. You did, and leaned back against it. “He’s the bureau’s version of a bounty hunter,” the agent confided, putting his fists down on his desk and leaning onto it. “Neal was almost commutated, then slipped out under their noses. It makes them look bad. They want to get him back.”
           You didn’t miss that Peter was using pronouns that excluded himself, but didn’t comment. It was no surprise – he’d made his stance clear when he encouraged Neal to go. “Why now?” You demanded. “It’s been months, surely the trail’s cold.”
           “Best guess?” Peter hazarded, sighing deeply. “They’ve spent this time trying to find him other ways. Now they’re realizing that Neal’s better than they thought and all they want to do is make an example out of him.”
           Oh, hell no. “Like they haven’t already?” You asked snidely. Peter tilted his head aside, not explicitly agreeing but getting his point across all the same.
           The bureau had your trust – for the most part. When it came to their treatment of Neal, your eyes had been opened to how even organizations seeking justice could be completely unjust in their treatment of people who lacked recourse. Neal was frequently put in life-threatening situations with no training and no choice in the matter except to be put back in prison. Enough people knew Neal was working with the FBI for Sing Sing to be a life-threatening situation, in and of itself. Neal was nothing but a tool to them because he lacked the normal resources of walking away or pursuing litigation.
           You looked aside, glowering at the drab office wall. “It gets worse,” Peter wearily told you. “Collins is looking for a win. And at this point, a dead fugitive is just as good of an example as an incarcerated one.”
           “Not happening,” you refused furiously. “What the hell happened to proportionality?” Neal may have pissed some people off, Robin Hood-ing from the one percent, but he was never violent. Sending a bounty hunter after him with permission to kill was wildly inappropriate and inhumane.
           “I’m afraid proportionality isn’t the first thing on the mind,” Peter warned as you stalked further into his office, toward his desk.
           “We have to warn him,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to Peter. Neal was “run at any time” paranoid, not “stay away from windows” paranoid.
           “Yes,” Peter nodded, “But we can’t. We don’t know where he is. There is no way of telling him.” The agent wasn’t giving up or resigning himself to being useless. As much as there was disappointment and worry in his face, there was also stubbornness.
           “So we find him,” you quietly suggested. “No one knows him better than we do.”
           “Y/N.” Peter dropped his voice to match your volume and spoke with a soft, concerned tone. “You have to understand, finding Neal and not turning him in, much less tipping him off about Collins, is outside the law.”
           “The law is apparently saying it’s okay to murder a man who has, at worst, taken money that isn’t his.” You fervently stated. That wasn’t your first concern, Neal was, but you needed Peter to know that you weren’t just in this because you were in love with the man in question. There was a principle at stake, and a moral obligation. “The equivalent of chopping off a pickpocket’s hand, coming from the government that supposedly despises cruelty and injustice. I won’t support that, and I sure as hell won’t stand by and let it be done to someone I love.”
           While you had been talking, Peter had slowly started to smile. It was the smile he used to always give to Neal when he was proud, when your boyfriend would remind him that Neal was a kind person with a good, loving soul. Having it directed at you reminded you far too much of the smile Neal always gave back and your chest tightened – not just at the memory, but at the decision which meant you were bound to see it again.
           “I knew you were going to say that,” Peter admitted with a small, relieved grin, like the shared challenge and conspiracy were washing all the sourness and distance under the bridge. You really thought that maybe it was. His confidence in you and his commitment to your boyfriend reassured you that you weren’t losing your mind and you weren’t alone, no matter how lonely you’d been feeling. “I just need you to understand what you’re putting at stake.”
           “Wherever he is, when we find him, I’m coming. No matter what.”
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bitch-for-a-rainbow · 3 years
Text
Lex Luthor: I actually really like him and Supergirl made me mad
     So, Lex Luthor is a very interesting, sometimes thought provoking, but most of all very enjoyable character.
     Lex is many things, a classic egomaniacal villain, an example of what lies can do to a relationship, a walking, talking red flag, a warning of how hubris and jealously can destroy you, and much, much more. He is not the typical strain of insane— if crazy at all, highly competent, and best of all knows every one of Superman’s buttons and exactly how to press them.
     I love watching Lex in every media I’ve ever seen him in going back to the original Christopher Reeve Superman. Every media, that is, except Supergirl. Why?
     Because she isn’t fucking Superman.
      Obviously, I love Supergirl— I run a blog with her in my icon— but there are certain things she is not and was never meant to be. Nemesis to Lex Luthor is right up there with a mass-murdering nazi (which is why the multiverse exists-- so that you can make her the first super on earth, Lex Luthor’s ex-friend, and not completely ignore the foundation of who they are as characters)
     Lex is fun because he’s so smart, but also because of the personal stake he has with Superman. Lex felt jealous. In many cases, he felt betrayed. He let that fester into mania and then he built an evil radioactive robo-suit and committed mass murder. You know, like reasonable people do.
     Lex was Superman’s friend and that gives his hatred of Kryptonians not only purpose, but emotional weight. Their relationship has that itching tension of painful history. In addition, Lex is extremely prideful. To him, Supergirl would be second class, she’s backup. And there is a story there: a story when Lex has a breakdown when backup knocks him into the sun, or the (in my opinion, less entertaining) version where Superman shows up to save her, reaffirming Lex’s worldview that he’s everything and defeating Superman means that Lex is the greatest and smartest, and even more stories beyond those that still adhere to its core principles— Kara and Lex as characters.
     But Supergirl chose neither. Instead they chose another recycle Superman plot. And then another. And another.    
     I should make time to say that I like Jon Cryer; I think he’s doing a great job with what he’s been given. He’s got the charisma. He’s got the smarmy self-congratulating swagger down perfectly. The scenes where the real Lex pokes its ugly head through his facade are just great. I think in anything else he would have made an excellent Lex Luthor, but not here.
     I was… disappointed with season 4. I liked 4x20– Kara and Lena investigating was fun at worst and at best had some really good edge of my seat moments. I thought that 4x16 “The House of L” was one of the best episodes of supergirl in a very long time and it still holds its place at least in my top 10, probably my top 5. But you will notice Lex wasn’t even in 4x20 and his places in 4x16 I actually enjoyed could easily have been occupied by any other intelligent villainous character. From a very basic point of view Col. Haley would have fit the mold of the manipulator training the compassionate but confused alien to kill— Wouldn’t have been her first time.
     The later usages of Lex in Supergirl are also attempting a common Superman plot. Lex “redeems” himself, tricks the public into trusting him again by framing Superman for something, and eventually is once again revealed to be evil. It sounds like a repetitive, boring plot that would lose the audience suspension if belief after a few tries— “Seriously, this again. How are they not expecting this by now?” And that complaint works for Supergirl. Because Supergirl isn’t Superman.
     Clark Kent was Lex Luthor’s best friend. Clark Kent ignored every warning sign and red flag waved in his face because Lex Luthor was his best friend. Clark Kent harbors a deep, abiding hurt and resentment from Lex’s betrayal. He has no trust for Lex, just like any hero would, but he also has the built up anger from repeated clashes with Lex and the initial betrayal. So when Lex returns, once again proclaiming he’s changed his ways, Superman’s response is a very public, very obviously bitter “yeah, right.” When Lex lays one of his traps for Superman, Clark is a little too rash. Lex Luthor knows how to push all of Clark’s buttons, even if he doesn’t know that they’re Clark’s. Lex can play him like a fiddle, and as for the general populace— would you be so steadfast in your trust of the invulnerable alien that could laser you in half in the blink of an eye and seems to be getting a little too comfortable in his role as peacekeeper? Would you, when even the slightest chance could slaughter your entire planet and you would have nothing and no one would could stop him— except, of course, Lex Luthor?
     We’ve been shown through many media that when Lex can’t manipulate his opponent, when villain comes that is simply too big for him to work on, he is at incredible risk. There are several stories I can think of of the top of my head where Lex becomes a temporary ally of the heroes simply because he realizes he can’t manipulate this new, powerful player and that therefore they are a risk to him (I actually really like those stories because the dynamics between him and the heroes are incredibly fun and interesting— you start to get an idea of who Lex is underneath all of the wit and ego).
     This is Supergirl’s great failure with Lex. The show understands that he is a genius— makes a great fuss about it. They understand that he is a manipulator— it’s his entire plot line with Lena. But they fail to understand that Lex’s ploys don’t work because he’s just so smart like the smartest ever. They work because he knows Superman and he knows that people are afraid of him— even the ones who trust and love him live with the knowledge that if he gets mind controlled or goes crazy, he could kill them all with ease, and that it’s happened before.
     Supergirl wasn’t around for Lex’s turn. This Supergirl wasn’t even in that steady of contact with Clark. She has no stinging betrayal, no anger and bitter history to make her rash and predictable. Certainly by now, two seasons into Lex’s placement in the show, she is angry— but by all the evidence we’ve been given, Kara’s anger just makes her more volatile, unpredictable and sometimes genuinely down for murder, which is definitely not something Lex needs. We have seen her both let Lex “fall to his death” (when she wasn’t all that angry— she just accepted his suicide without trying to force him into prison) and nearly shoot him with laser vision (this time she was angry and emotionally unstable after the death of Argo and the more Lex centered anger that he revealed her identity and destroyed her relationship with Lena. There is no question that she would have killed-- or at the very least maimed-- him if The Monitor hadn’t intervened). If Superman just murdered Lex when he got angry, he would have died a dozen times over.
     Lex doesn’t even have a basic understanding of Kara’s mindset. He can’t. Superman was raised by American humans in Kansas— he has a worldview that Lex could easily pick up on because it is at least based on watching most of the same events unfold as they grew up— and that’s if they had never met before they started fighting. Sure, he could assume Superman had some quirks from being an alien, but the base Americanized cultural standpoint was already affecting Lex’s machinations because he was an American. He’s familiar with the culture and values Superman follows— not so with Kara. I don’t even know if it was possible for him to obtain information on her religion, let alone the cultural views on justice. His research on her past fights would have been choppy at best, given that there are so many things that only Kara or the other Superfriends were there for. He can’t have the information about that fight on Mars where Kara literally disintegrated at least 3 white martians. He can’t know what happened with Reign beyond “she’s not going to be a problem anymore”. He might have more information about the Daxamite invasion through government records and his mother but the information is still limited. As for Non and Myriad, we don’t even know what happened to Non, and did they report to the DEO that J’onn literally tore Indigo in half (very graphically I might add). Or did they just say “They won’t be a problem anymore.” Lex may have been spying on Kara since Season 2, but how much is watching her civilian life going to help him understand her, when Kara’s civilian life was constructed to hide? Kara Danvers doesn’t say a lot of what she thinks to avoid notice, and even Supergirl keeps her mouth shut a lot of the time to try and maintain human-alien relations. The episodes where she squabbles with the Col. Haley and President Baker are full of her smiling and gritting her teeth through statements that clearly make her very angry.
     Lex “falling to his death” and then getting shot at the end of season 4 was a great moment— it fit with the characters motivations, but it also unfortunately illustrated the problem with Supergirl characters interacting with Lex. J’onn was a soldier who kills people. Kara has killed people. Alex has killed people. This scene was not the first time we watched Lena try to murder someone with that gun. They are not restricted by the moral code Superman uses, which makes it both more difficult and more dangerous for Lex to try manipulating them— so he doesn’t and instead they skip the intermediary and rely wholly on him being able to manipulate the public. This works to an extent with Red Daughter, but only because anti-alien sentiment was at an all time high with the Children of Liberty, and because Lex lucked into an amnesiac supergirl clone. So little of the heavy lifting was actually done by Lex it feels less like his accomplishment and more like he cheated off of 3 different people and then bragged about his math skills. I said it before and I’ll say it again. The season 4 villain could have been anyone with moderate intelligence and resources. After crisis, the excuses just get weaker and weaker. I mean come on, he confessed to trying to mind control the whole world in front of the jury while screaming vile things at his sister who’s sitting there visibly flinching at his words and they unanimously voted not-guilty? Are you kidding? (Also after watching all the courtroom scenes in Supergirl... do they know how courtrooms work? I mean, I laughed as hard as anyone at the “I plead the 5th” line, but seriously. Do they?)
    And Crisis was… a choice. I personally hated that they brought Lex back to life— more so because the in-universe reasoning was so weak. Lex Luthor does not face a whole lot of consequences, it’s true, but that’s because he has the genius, guile, and money to avoid them. To give him such an unearned out— especially after all the damage he’d done by dying— really hurt the both the stakes and the character. Lex is a human, and he fights Superman by taking advantage of very human things: corruption, anger, and fear as well as ingenuity and resourcefulness. He loads the deck in his favor— he doesn’t win on luck. And Lex in the CW Supergirl, seems to only win on luck. First he finds Red Daughter right when anti-alien sentiment is blowing up, then he is resurrected, then he finds out the crisis world loves him. He has had exactly 1 major victory based on his own work— manipulating Brainy. A manipulation which was really hard to believe when Brainy was, in canon, much, much smarter than Lex, familiar with his tactics, lying to the superfriends for no reason, and had no emotional reaction to cloud his judgement. 
      And even so, this one plot line was one of the more interesting ones in season 5 and the most Lex Luthor-like plot line the show has had. Even when I felt my suspension of disbelief slipping, it wasn’t entirely in tatters. Lex’s win felt somewhat earned. 
     He has been in the show for 2 1/2 seasons and he has had 1 major victory that felt at all earned. 2 and 1/2 seasons. That’s currently around 45% of the show’s run time.
     All in all, we have 4 deeply related problems that plague the CW Supergirl Lex Luthor:
Lex Luthor’s plans rely as much on effective manipulation of Superman as they do on his own genius. Without that manipulation, his victories rely much more on happenstance and luck, making them feel less earned.
Lex Luthor cannot effectively manipulate Supergirl— at the very least, not in the beginning of their relationship, which CW Supergirl focuses on— nor does he try to manipulate her or much of the cast beyond Lena and once with Brainy.
Supergirl kills people. Supergirl has killed Lex. Superman doesn’t kill people.
Lex fighting Supergirl does not have the kind of inherent emotional weight that Lex fighting Superman does.
     There are some other issues I have with the CW supergirl version of Lex, but I think if it was a Superman show I wouldn’t have minded. The large amount of screen time dedicated to him would make sense there, and the fact that he’s a cockroach seemingly impervious to any plot consequences would also fit more in line with Superman’s increasing frustration and make his manipulations more effective.
     The only problem I have that wouldn’t been solved purely by making it about Superman is the crowding problem. In season 1, Non and the DEO were highly connected and fed each other as villains. Season 2 also fit that same block of alien vs. anti alien. Both of those secondary villains (the army/DEO in s1 and Cadmus in s2) were very much not as big a villain as the main. Season 3 sort of had a secondary villain with Morgan Edge, but he was mostly just a Lena problem. All of these seasons had a good balance between the villains screen time and also between the villains and heroes. It got a little more complicated with the extra world killers in s3, but still functioned fairly smoothly with focus on Reign. This is one of the main reasons that seasons 1 and 3 are my favorites. S4, however, got more cluttered. A lot more cluttered. Manchester Black, the Children of Liberty, Lex Luthor, Red Daughter, and Eve Tessmacher were all villains with multi-episode arcs handled directly by Supergirl herself. There was too much to cover, not enough connection, and not enough time— plus 2 new main cast members (Look, I love Nia and Brainy but that season had way too much going on). Season 5 had Leviathan, Lena Luthor, Lex Luthor and 2 new mains. Each of those villain arcs had their own distinct plot from one another and screen time started to become more choppy and spread out. Season 6 now has so far Lex Luthor, the phantom zone, and Nyxly, as well as the Zor-El mini-arc, and while I’ll give them some leeway for Melissa Beniost’s maternity leave, there is again too much in too little time. Villains are underdeveloped or not given weighty closures, each main gets less and less personal screentime, and every shot that doesn’t serve a good or entertaining purpose feels like pouring out water from a canteen in the desert, especially now in the last season. Lex has greatly suffered for this both in the rage at how much screen time he gets compared to other characters, Kara in particular, and because of how his arcs are still hobbled by the lack of it.
    I just find myself wishing they’d restricted Lex to a 3 or 4 episode mini-arc, or just season 4 and saved him for the Superman and Lois show. They could have played the crisis resurrection as just an unfortunate coincidence of fate and had it be Superman’s problem from there on. 
    To Jon Cryer, may you never see this. It’s so very not your fault.
If anyone actually reads this whole thing and I got something wrong let me know. I’d love to discuss it. Today, I’m just trying to isolate the main issues I have with Lex in Supergirl. 
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johnkrrasinski · 4 years
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𝐄𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞
Chapter 2: Those Eyes Add Insult to Injury
full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work
Pairings: Dark!Steve Rogers (in future chapters) x Reader
Word Count: 2,554
Summary: Steve Rogers; a Hollywood A-lister and your clandestine occasional hookup. Best friends since childhood, but people change and friendships fall out. Now you were merely strangers with benefits. What happens when one day you stopped being his doormat to be a better man’s queen? The selfish Steve Rogers would not like it. How far is he willing to go to get his favorite possession back?
Warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, dark Steve (in later chapter), angst, Steve Rogers is an asshole in this one, no redeeming qualities. (MUST BE 18+)
A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @belovedcherry​​ who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for being a friend when i truly needed it. i’m really glad that you trusted me to write this story for you. with all my heart, i sincerely hope you like it. this series will be updated everyday, there will be 4 more chapters ahead.
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Several years had passed since you graduated. You and Wanda remained close despite the bustle of life would get in the way sometimes. She got accepted in Yale University and she chose to study Psychology. Maybe that’s why she and you got along so well. You both were humanitarians at hearts.
College was a lot more fun than high school but that also meant the bigger pressure would come along in one package. Nothing that you didn’t expect. You went into social study major to groom yourself for the future you had set for yourself. Life went along as methodically as you originally designed.
But fate was a comical thing sometimes. When it has settled its decision to place two people who have such a rich history in their past together, it would be inevitable and inescapable one way or another.
The past couple of years of high school, you and Steve were practically strangers who went to the same school. He never greeted or talked to you anymore in class and he abandoned every ritual you had in the good old days. He stopped calling or texting, he stopped answering and he stopped coming over.
He just… stopped knowing you.
There wasn’t a day that passed by without you pondering about where did it all go wrong? How did the fair-headed friendship that bloomed like the flowers in spring slip away as briskly as a bottle of wine? A million questions rushed through your nostalgic head and as the season changed, the gap between you and Steve kept extending wider and wider.
You didn’t even know whether he really went to college or not. Or perhaps, he decided to go straight into auditions and found himself a good agent who was willing to manage his career. You still remember when he was so eager to do whatever it takes to study in NYU but you assumed that things had changed since then. He was a different person, after all, maybe he had new plans to pursue his dreams. But of course, life deprecated its surprises being spoiled.
Who would’ve warned you that you would get accepted to New York University as well as Steve?
You didn’t know until you ran into him at a sorority party that you were reluctant to go at first because you were never that much of a party gal, but your roommate, Natasha coerced you to.
Natasha was a kind person but she could also be a little bold than you were used to. You were grateful that she was your roommate though, you were a little worried that you might have to live with someone who was mean or untidy, everything that Natasha was not. You could imagine the relief when you learned how organized and sensible Natasha was. You had a feeling that the friendship you and Natasha had was going to last a lifetime.
“My sweet girl, y/n, I love you but you really gotta put yourself out there, okay? Forget that motherfucker Steve Rogers. He ain’t shit. If you go to the party with me, you might actually find yourself a decent guy who’s a lot cuter than him and who will treat you right. Because if he doesn’t then I’m gonna kick his ass and he will think twice before cheating on you.”
“I’m not looking for a boyfriend, Nat. Besides, I don’t care about Steve anymore,” you lied. “It’s not even about him, I’m just simply not much of a partier.”
“Bullshit. You are now. Let’s go. I won’t hear any more excuses.”
So you had no other choice but to put on a simple dress and went to the party with Nat. There was no saying no to her when she had made up her mind. Plus, you thought it would be a good idea to familiarize yourself with the vicinity and your potential classmates.
You also wrote a new resolution in your invisible diary that you were going to expand your connection in college and socialize more. You were only really friends with Wanda back in high school. You also shared a few classes with Pete Parker who was nice and smart, despite being a little gauche sometimes and you would often talk to him but that was it.
You also lost your childhood best friend who knew you better than anyone else before Wanda did. It truly deteriorated your trust issues and that’s why it was difficult for you to insert yourself in social situations and just effortlessly talk with any stranger.
You stood in the corner with a red plastic cup in your hand that was still almost full of beer. You didn’t drink either so you had no idea why you even bothered holding it. Maybe it gave you a sense of comfort that you wouldn’t be totally alone in this party.
Natasha had asked you to dance but you knew you’d look like an untrained clown at a circus, so you refused to join her. Natasha was currently lost in the music, dancing with a guy named Clint. You had no idea who the hell he was but he seemed nice, and you knew that if Clint had bad intentions with Natasha, he wouldn’t stand a chance and you wouldn’t let him so you assigned yourself the job to watch over Natasha and bring her home safely in case she chugs down a little too much alcohol.
Your eyes wandered around the room, trying to recognize and learn some faces. It felt like you were the only lonely person in the room as the exuberant music faded into the background. Everything felt slow and steady until the person who just walked through the door made your heart stop.
It was Steve. Steve Rogers.
The person you had incessantly wondered about. You hadn’t seen him in over a year even during the gap between graduating and starting your freshman year in college. You were too occupied in moving out, spending as many time as possible with Wanda and your family and filling out college requirements. Steve would emerge in your mind every once in a while but you tried to erase him away as quickly as possible when it happens because you didn’t want to waste your time missing a ghost and someone who probably never spared a second of his life thinking about you too when you are surrounded with your loved ones for the last time.
You didn’t know when you were going to be able to see Wanda again. She was going to New Haven and that means, it would take at least at two hours drive to visit her so you cherished the last moments that you had with her. She was like a sister to you. You still talked to Wanda nearly every day through texts but you also didn’t want to intrude her study too much. Besides, you had your own duties too as a college student now.
So why did it feel like your lungs stopped functioning when you saw his gorgeous face and those familiar pair of cerulean blue eyes? He had a grin on his face as he walked in with five other college boys. You didn’t know who they were but you assumed they were his new group of nitwit friends. Steve was wearing a brown leather jacket with a black shirt underneath.
He walked to where the kegs were with the boys trailing him along like they were his security team. They joked with each other boisterously as if they owned the place. Typical. Nothing you hadn’t seen in high school. But you couldn’t avert your sights from Steve. You were too riveted by the fact that Steve was here, at a sorority party of NYU.
It couldn’t really be him, right? I mean, is this serious? You two really attended the same university? This must be a joke.
Your thoughts were quickly interrupted when Nat pat your shoulder with her energy still blazing from the dance floor. “Whew, that was fun but I need some drink now.”
You didn’t respond as your lips were still agape, not knowing what you were supposed to say to her.
“Y/N? You alright? You look like you saw a ghost.” 
“He’s here.”
“What? Who?”
“Steve Rogers. The guy that I told you about.”
“Where?!”
You pointed in his direction where he was surrounded by a bunch of pretty girls in skimpy dresses now. One of them was groping his bicep shamelessly and Steve had his arm around her waist. She threw her head back as she laughed cheerfully at something he just said.
“You gotta talk to him! Have some closure.”
“What? What the hell am I supposed to say to him?”
“Tell him that you and him are through and maybe, throw a drink at him afterwards. That scumbag deserves it.”
“Nat, no! Are you insane? I don’t wanna cause a scene.”
“But you can’t just let him get away with whatever he wants, y/n!”
“No, let’s just go home and forget it, okay?”
“Alright, if you’re not gonna talk to him, then I will.”
“No, Nat! Stop! What are you doing?! ” But she was already approaching him with ardent footsteps and fire in her guts as she brazenly inserted herself into the middle of the scene.
“Excuse me,” she sarcastically greeted the group. “Yeah, hi, I just need a minute. Are you Steve Rogers?”
You followed behind her but you stood just a few feet away from the incident so that Steve wouldn’t see you. But you could see from over Nat’s shoulder that Steve had a perplexed look on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and all the girls around him were staring at Nat like she was a crazy person who just randomly popped up uninvited.
“…yeah.” He answered.
“Oh, so you’re the asshole that my roommate has been talking about. Man, she really didn’t lie.”
“Excuse me?” The puzzled look on his face turned into an offended one.
“Yeah, my roommate y/n. Does that ring a bell?”
He was aghasted at the mention of your name. Before he was given a chance to answer, Natasha filled his silence with more of her venomous words. “You really have the audacity to show your face here, huh? I swear to you, the next time I see your irritable face again, I will make you regret for ever breathing in my direction, but for now, I think this will do.” She threw the beer in her cup onto his face, humiliating him in front of everyone who was entertained by the drama.
Steve wiped his face with his hand and he was too stupefied by the information that had just been dumped on him like a cold water. Well, it wasn’t entirely figurative though.
Before Natasha walked away, she sneered with a sly smirk on her face, “enjoy your party.” She shoved the empty cup to one of the girl’s chest as she reflexively caught it, with a flummoxed expression, her eyes didn’t stray from Natasha.
She walked away vauntingly from the flock towards you, “let’s go, y/n.” as she kept walking towards the entrance. You were still frozen in your spot as she was already going for the door. But before you could follow her, your eyes landed on Steve’s doused face as his eyes were already fixated on you.
For a moment there, there were only you and Steve and the intimacy of unspoken farewells and muted longing that were encapsulated in one bubble of silence that comes when two people understand each other. It was like the drawer of Steve’s things that he left with the memories and he never asked you to return came hurdling back like ocean waves and everything just evaporated in the ticking time.
There was no need for words because your eyes delivered more than both of your lips had in the past couple of years.
“Y/N?” He uttered your name. That was perhaps the first time he had called you in years. And with that, it was like every broken piece you had intensively woven back together ruptured and there was no safety net that would prepare you for this fallout.  
He was bewildered by seeing you here and you had no clue what you were supposed to say. So you threw him a poignant smile, forcing yourself to put on an impassive facade in front of him. You were good at that, you had years of practice from all those times you found Steve making out with Janet in the parking lot. You wonder if they were still together?
You wordlessly walked away and joined Natasha to the front porch. Steve watched you turn your back on him, not knowing whether he should call your name again, follow you or he should just let you go. You on your way back home were filled with so many thoughts. You couldn't help but wonder, what would’ve happened if you had stayed and talked to him at the party? What would he say to you? Would he even care at all?
But on the other hand, you were relieved. It’s like, you truly got the closure Natasha said you deserved. Never in a million years, you would ever dream about standing up to Steve like that. Hell, you weren’t even brave enough to tell him how you feel back when you were younger. But may God bless Natasha and her parents for creating her, she defended you in a way that you could never do. And she showed you that maybe, it’s time you hold on to your promise that you vowed to yourself, that you were finally going to move on and bury him into your memory dump.
You were in college now. You had no time to wallow in sadness and heartbreak caused by a douche like Steve Rogers. So you made peace with the fact that it was probably the last time you were ever going to see him. You might run into him around college but you weren’t going to let it shake your ground. You unlocked the door of your dorm with a contented smile on your face as you sat on your bed.
Natasha instantly went for the small closet to change into her pyjamas but was briefly delayed by your mumble. “Thank you.”
“Pardon?” Natasha turned her head into your direction.
“Thank you. For doing that… At the party.” You smiled at her. You sincerely meant every word.
“I’d never let a man walk over a good woman like you, y/n.”
You nodded as she carried on with what she was doing. She went into the bathroom to wash herself off and you laid in your bed, feeling lighter than you had ever felt in years. Maybe she was right. It was time you realize your worth. You spent too many years doubting yourself just because Steve was too much of a reprobate to cherish you.
You closed your eyes, relishing in the comfort of your bed without fearing a ghost looming in your sweet dreams anymore now.
Letting tomorrow surprise you with whatever it has in store. Sometimes it involves a charming devil standing on the other side of your door with flowers in his hands and a wicked scheme to accomplish.
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amethyst-geek · 4 years
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My theories on that scene from the Season 4 preview
When I saw the preview for 4, something that stood out to me (besides Shadow Moth’s hilarious look) is the scene where Alix, Alya, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka getting re-akuamatized. I have come up with several theories regarding the circumstances behind their akumatization, several of which I already shared in the form of asks @princess-of-the-corner and I would like to elaborate on them here (As u can only say so much in an ask), as well as provide some additional theories. 
1. Lila’s lies have successfully gotten the girls pissed at Marinette and/or Ladybug- admittedly, this one is the least likely from both a watsonian and doyelist standpoint. From a doylelist standpoint, I feel like the episode will be enough a re-hash of Felix and Ladybug without the whole “someone got the girls pissed at one of the heroes by framing one of the main characters” thing.  From a Watsonian standpoint, they probably already been informed of Lila’s ‘lying disease’ after the events of Ladybug, so Lila’s probably going to have a harder time getting people to believe her (because if someone told me that they had a lying disease that forces them to lie, I’d probably take any other claim with a grain of salt). 
2. The girls decided to have a meeting to discuss Lila’s disease and how they can help her, and when the girls started comparing notes regarding Lila’s stories (like saving Jagged Stone’s cat) and realized that even her claim about having a lying disease doesn't make sense (because if she was lying about Marinette stealing the test answers and necklace, then how did they wind up in her backpack and locker, and also shouldn't the faculty already been informed of Lila’s disease when she first came to school?). Their confusion regrading what’s true and what isn't, remorse for not listening to Marinette, and anger at Lila, draw an akuma which lands on them while they were holding hands as part of an attempt to comfort each other and calm down. Now unlike in Felix where Lady Wifi is the only akuma that makes sense in the context of “my friend sent us a mean message when we just trying to cheer him up,” most if not all of the returning akumas could easily be applied to the situation of the girls starting to see through Lila’s lies. I can practically hear Hawk Moth’s speech to them- “Timebreaker, you regret having trusted this liar over your own friend, so I‘m giving u the chance to go back in time to fix your mistake. Lady Wifi, I’m giving u back the power to expose her lies. Princess Fragrance, Lila Rossi used u and your friends as pawns, but now, you’ll be the one who controls her and everyone around her. Reflekta, this girl lied to make herself the center of attention, but it might be difficult for her to stand out if everyone looks the same. Horrificator, I’m giving you the power to make Lila feel as helpless as her past victims. In return, well you probably know the drill by now. Do we have a deal?” 
3. Verity Queen made them her knights- Mrs. Rossi runs into Marinette and Sabine and Lila’s lying disease is brought up and Mrs. Rossi is all “my daughter doesn't have a lying disease.” An argument ensues and draws an akuma, which lands on Sabine (who may have been taking the bullet for Marinette) and she becomes Verity Queen, who has a lasso of truth, She then uses her lasso of truth on Marinette (whom Sabine is most trusting of, but she felt Mrs. Rossi would only believe Marinette if she was under the influence of the lasso of truth), and Marinette confirms that she did not cheat or steal Lila’s necklace and that she Lila clammily walk down the stairs instead being pushed down. Verity Queen then asks Marinette why Lila would want to do this, Marinette replies that she was making good on her threat to turn everyone against her. Verity Queen is understandably pissed at Lila, so she leaves to go find Lila, taking Mrs. Rossi with her.  She can't find Lila, but she does manage to find Marinette’s friends, and after explaining to them what Marinette told her about Lila, turns them into her knights, which r their akumatized forms, and she sends them out to search for Lila. They manage to track Lila down and take her to the tv station, where Verity Queen is waiting and has already ‘knighted’ Nadja back into Prime Queen. Verity Queen then uses her lasso of truth to force Lila to admit all of her wrongdoings on live tv. 
4. Mrs. Rossi gets akumatized- Mrs. Rossi finally gets around to asking her colleagues what they should do about Ladybug’s incompetence. Mistaking this for a joke, the colleagues laugh their asses off. As they do so, Mrs. Rossi’s anger at not being taken seriously draws an akuma and here is Hawk Moth speech to her: “Red Queen, nobody but you cares about getting the akumas under control, so I’m giving u the power to do it yourself. In return, I ask that u bring me the miraculous of the heroes too incompetent to do it themselves. Do we have a deal.” The akumatized Mrs. Rossi replies “Time to show those how to do their jobs!” and becomes Red Queen who has the power to turn up to 16 people (I’m going for a chess motif here. Maybe I should call her White Queen instead) back into their akumatized forms (but she’s under the impression that they’re already in their akumatized forms) and control them. Among the people she turns back into akumas are Alix, Alya, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka. As for who the rest of the re-akuamitzed ‘pieces,’ hard to say (there r a lot to choose from). After de-akumatizing Mrs. Rossi, she explains what Lila told her, and the the heroes (which may include new ones, as in this scenario, Ladybug and Chat Noir are dealing with 16 villains, who will probably be more spread out throughout the city this time around) and former ‘chess pieces’ explain the truth  Mrs. Rossi, and one of the girls wonders if Lila’s ‘lying disease’ was acting up, and Mrs. Rossi is all like ‘what lying disease?” Yeah, Lila’s in big trouble. 
5. it’s just a stress-induced nightmare- it won't be the main focus of the episode, it will just be the opening scene to show how the pressure of being the new guardian is getting to her. This scenario is kinda boring.
6. Sandboy 2- Sandboy is back again, but similar to Gamer and Puppeteer, his powers have been modified. This time, instead of bringing people’s nightmares to life, he forces them into a deep sleep where they r forced to deal with nightmares they can’t wake up from (think the “Only a Dream” two-parter of Justice League, except that Sandboy can't enter anyone’s dreams). Among Sanboy’s victims is Marinette. Her nightmare (and possibly the episode, of the writer do that thing where they don't immediately reveal it’s a dream) begins with her friends disappointed with her for reason they refuse to explain and transform back into the akumatized forms and they go after her. In this nightmare, the re-akumtizations don't end with the ones seen the preview. One by one, everyone who has been akumatized turns back into their akuma form, ending with Chat Noir becoming Chat Blanc and then everyone screams at Ladybug/Marinette for falling them. She tries to summon her lucky charm, but it doesn't work. Then a nightmare version of Hawk Moth shows up and he sends an akuma Ladybug, who tries to dodge, only for Volpina to hold her down, and when Ladybug tries to resist the akumtization, all while letting out some of the most bloodcurdling screams in Christina Vee’s career. Meanwhile, in the real world, Tikki tries to wake up Marinette and when that fails, tries to remove her earrings so she can loan them to someone, but that fails too for whatever reason). So out of desperation, Tikki grabs one of the goat miraculous out of the miracle box and tracks down Marc. Tikki explains that Ladybug has been affected by Sandboy’s powers and need Marc’s help to save her). Marc then becomes the goat hero, whose power is astral projection (btw the idea of the goat’s power being astral projection was probably inspired by a fanfic called Capricorn by mico-j-ken, as Capricorn has similar powers. The fanfic in in fan fiction.net if anyone wants to read it). Goat! Marc then uses his powers to enter Marinette’s dreams, to let her know’s just a dream and also give her a much-needed pep talk. Marinette wakes up and transform into Ladybug, and defeats Sandboy. When Marc tries to give the goat miraculous back to Ladybug, she tell him to keep it, explaining that this experience made her realize that there will be situations that she won't be able to get out of with our help. As a sidenote, Marc may or may not have figured out Ladybug’s secret identity (depending on how careful Tikki, such as asking Goat! Marc to close his eyes while she lead Marc to Marinette) and may have found out about Lila’s bitchery via Nightmare!Lila monologging about making good on her threat against Marinette as Goat!Marc was entering Marinette nightmare. 
What do u guys think? Which scenario do think is the coolest and/or most likely? 
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geekkatsblog · 4 years
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Reviewing Grey's Anatomy Episodes but this time its Season 17
(To those people on my page who don't watch Grey's Anatomy but are being subjected to this I'm so sorry but I really just like to vent about this show.)
Its season 17 now Yay.
They're dealing with the covid 19 pandemic and I'm sure the writers probably did lots of research to make sure that they had the most accurate representation of the situation in the hospitals and otherwise.
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First we're going to start with the love triangle that is Teddy, Tom and Owen.
Owen
Now this is in no way excusing what he's done in the past for the longest while I've loathed Owen Hunt but..... now I feel sorry for him. He saw he had a problem he went to therapy to get himself right, he was actually a good partner for once and communicated in his relationship, he took his time and didn't jump into marriage spontaneously and then Teddy cheated on him over but dial to be heard by everyone in the operating theater with Owen on their wedding day. (I don't want to sound bad but this might also be karma coming to but him in the ass.) I felt so much 2nd hand embarrassment for him and the pain he had in his face the whole time he pretended not to know about her cheating was just oof. I loved though the end where he drove away for the mean time I really do agree with him taking some time and space before he makes a decision. Most of the times he made a lot of sudden decisions that later came back to bite him.
Teddy
Oh Teddy, she used to be one of my favorite characters from a little after she came to the time she left but now they just carried her character so far down hill that it's hard to keep the same energy I had before, now. Everyone at Grey Sloan is on Owen's side and giving her the cold shoulder and she really wants everyone to mind their own business (I honestly agree though, you're in the middle of a pandemic mind your business and do your job now isn't the time to be shunning coworkers because they cheated.) However when she did explain her side I kinda understood it a bit better. It's still an awful thing to do but I know plenty of people who sabotage their own happiness because they aren't used to it. Hell I do it myself sometimes. But then I was also pissed when she just pretended she did nothing wrong at first. First thing first she acted kinda offended when Owen explained why he hadn't called to cancel the wedding to her. Was it kinda sus? The answer is yes but you literally cheated on him that same day, you needed the extra time sis. Not to mention the several time he hinted to her that he knew and gave her the chance to confess yet she lied through her teeth whenever he hinted at it and flat out lied again when he asked if she had anything to confess. I get the whole sabotage route but God was I happy when Owen got in his truck, drove off and left her.
Tom
I was honestly rooting for Tom in the beginning, despite him being a douche I knew deep down he had a heart somewhere, but I actually started to feel less sorry for him last season when he continued to sleep with Teddy despite knowing her situation which he pointed out to her several times and she still ignored it. I know he loves her but let's be honest, she's going to pick Owen as long as he decides to actually take her back and Tom will be left alone and heart broken with his $100000 worth of boxes in booties and a golf club to measure 6 ft distance between him and everyone else. Honestly I kinda saw a panic attack coming, if they're treating Teddy bad then they're probably treating him even more like crap based on the fact that no one besides Teddy, Catherine and maybe Amelia liked him to begin with. This may also be an unpopular opinion but I actually agree with Catherine for making him resign of chief of all chiefs his head hasn't and probably won't be in the game for a while. At least he still gets to be head of neuro. He bought a whole $100000 dollars in booties alone by mistake during an already tough pandemic between that and everything else going on around him I'm not surprised he broke. What did surprise me was that no one even went near him to help even after the attack was finished. Dislike him or not at least ask him how he's doing geeze.
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Jo and Jackson (Never thought I'd have to put the two of them together in a title.)
Truly the biggest shock of the night besides the trailer for next week which I will freak out about later.
Jo
So Jo has decided that in order for her to feel herself again she has to do the devils tango with someone and because they're in a pandemic and she trusts him she chose Jackson. The night of the appointment to do the deed Jo ends up crying in his mouth. The way she treated him afterwards at first was a little uncalled for in my opinion, I mean she was the one who asked for the favor. But later they talked and it was all cool again. Jo didn't really have that big of a plot this episode so not too much to talk about.
Jackson
Agreed way to quickly to doing the devils tango with Jo if you ask me. Seems a little sus. I really hope they aren't rushing him and Jo into anything give the girl some room to breath and also give Jackson a proper plot he seems to be a plot filler for everyone right now like they have no real purpose for him on the show at the moment. I'm beginning to really think that he was the one who was supposed to die last season. I really do love his and Richard's relationship. Jackson never really had a good father and Webber seems to be filling that spot quite nicely. Him pushing Webber to fight to get better and convince him that his career can be saved was heartwarming. And can we take a moment to talk about Harriet finally appearing from the world of Narnia to bless us with her presence? And boy was she a blessing. That baby that plays Harriet was awesome from her repeating Vic saying she can't be a step mom all to her facial expressions. I hope to see baby Harriet again very soon. But speaking of Vic, did she not know that Jackson was a father? How the hell did she expect to never run into her at some point? Then there's the whole question of what did she even expect of the relationship with Jackson if she never intended to even try to accept being around his daughter? also if she really want to be Robbie Rotten from Lazy town and avoid being around kids, maybe she should call or text first instead of showing up in just a fluffy jacket and nothing else.
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Deluca
Glad to see he finally got the help he needed and is back put tho work. I felt so upset last season when everyone just treated him like crap without trying to help him, but they made up for it a little by trying to help him with the intervention. He was also right about the sex trafficking case and I was so glad to see that he was able to be there as her doctor. Plus he's now also finally in dark blue scrubs it has felt like forever before he got those but I digress. He is now on his way once again to be a kick ass surgeon with the awesome skills hes already showcasing. I just hope he continues to look after himself. Deluca shine like the star you are babe.
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Maggie
Has finally found a man who understands her, he is so nice and kind and caring the whole episode I was mentally yelling go get it hun to the screen. She deserves someone who can take her seriously and understand her awkwardness as well as her tendencies finally she has stepped out of the role of cheerleader and support character and is branching out to something else and I'm here for it. And her yelling at Catherine, to share her piece of mind. I was so proud. Go get it sis.
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Richard
Richard Webber is back in the building, finally the king has returned to himself and already solving problems in day one. At the beginning when he publicly called Catherine a pain in the ass I was so stoked I finally thought that he was done being pushed around by her but then he took her back in the end it also kinda felt like she bought him in order to get him back with the hiring him as the new chief of chiefs but I wish them the best of luck, Webber deserves to be happy. I was also happy to see him and Bailey interacting like friends again. For a while it was awkward between them but now it's like the balance has been restored. Side note, him laughing at Teddy and Owen made me laugh so loudly especially when he asked Teddy if her name was still Altman despite the fact he clearly knew about the phonecall drama, not gonna lie I'd do the same.
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Catherine
Not much there, just her being angry at the pandemic and loss of money, lack of power to save lives as well as trying to win Webber back which she successfully did after firing Koracick and giving Richard his job and finally giving him a heartfelt apology without being petty.
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Bailey
It might just be me but so far despite the fact that it's only been 2 episodes. Bailey seems somewhat better this season. Her guilt over Deluca was definitely warranted but at least she tried to make up for it (and just like Harriet her OCD has decided to rejoin us for a visit from Narnia.) For the past few seasons she's been a slight pain but now she seems more like herself.
Her and Ben are adorable as usual, coming every 12 hours to clap for the doctors just to see her then the cute hand signals they made for each other, between Ben, Link and recently added to the group of awesome partners Winston, I'm beginning to wonder where I can find me one of these super thoughtful understanding handsome men. The two guys that knocked her over as well spraining her ankle really should have to pay or something or at least apologize, they literally just knocked a doctor off her feet and made her wheel chair bound, the chief ro be exact. Her and Webber are on talking terms and well again but she really needs to know how to express concern better. She once told Ben that when she's scared she yells but a lot of things would have gone a lot more smoothly if she'd just reminded him he was a high risk for covid and state her concern for him to begin with instead of barking out orders.
I'm also wondering if shes going to be able to handle the whole Covid situation so well for the whole time, with all the chaos and disorganization with the whole ordeal not to mention the whole fit she had with the germs in the episode. I think it'll be a good storyline now that Grey's seems to be bringing mental awareness back up.
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Link and Amelia
They have now officially reached my list along with Ben and Bailey and a few others that are no longer on the show that have reached the stage of killing the couple goals on this show.
Despite the fact that they're not only raising their own baby but also Bailey, Ellis and Zola yet their relationship is still solid. I'm so proud of my baby Amelia she has come a long way from the woman who didn't even want kids to begin with.
I loved the fact that he wasn't upset over her forgetting his birthday and acted like nothing was wrong, just so she wouldn't feel bad about forgetting. I would have been livid set a reminder on your phone babes. Either way she definitely made up for it later with the whole redoing his birthday thing. Also welcome to the world Scout. Looking forward to seeing them more often.
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Levi
How did it all turn so bad, Nico has turned into such a jerk at this point I'm not even sure I'd be to upset if he left if it wasn't for the fact that I ship the person he was before and Levi so much I'm still hoping that they'll go back to how they were before Nico became a lying hypocrite. At the end I was practically begging Levi to push him away, Nico doesn't deserve it not after the way he treated him and he hasn't even shown a hint of remorse to this day.
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Meredith
The biggest shock of the whole episode. I honestly knew something was going to happen to her from the time she fell asleep and started the dream on the beach. Dreaming of beaches have never been a good sign on Grey's I just thought she was going to collapse from stress because she really had been pushing herself all episode. The thing with Meredith is that she cares so much for her patients and does anything she can to save them, but based on the preview of the next episode and the tests they showed it doesn't seem to be test. And let's just talk about that huge bombshell they dropped by bringing back Derek I never thought I'd see Patrick Dempsey on the show again. By the end of the episode I was already literally shaking in anticipation for the next episode. I know they can't kill Meredith, without her there literally is no Grey's Anatomy. That being said I really hope they don't give her cancer, (I know Patrick is involved with helping a charity for cancer.) And I also really hope she isn't getting alzheimers I just hope it's nothing serious in general. She's been through enough man. I just want this to be a really touching moment where I get to see Merder have some touching moments and it doesn't end up to be Izzie and Denny all over again. I don't think anyone is ready to handle that. I read in a spoiler that there's supposed to be some more visitors arriving on the beach and I'm stoked for it so I really hope it's a real spoiler I'm tired of rewatching the newer seasons to experience some of the old joy.
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Imma need them to give that intern Perez an official recurring contract for the show because he is currently one of the best things to come on that show in years. He's a breath of fresh air.
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summertime sadness .5.
work day
Tumblr media
Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (masterlist under construction)
Warnings: dub con sex (fingering)
This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only. I know they aren’t super dark, but like questionable so I’m keeping those tags just to be safe.
Summary: Loki adds to your workload.
Note: Right, here we go, here we go, here go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Men! Sorry, minor detour there but are we ready for the darkness? Y'all hold onto your panties. Thanks everyone for their support and I love you all! 💋
<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.
💋💋💋
You didn’t sleep much. Every time you closed your eyes, the scene flashed behind your eyelids. Loki standing over you, the image on his phone, his hand on your chin. And then you thought of Bucky. It was hard not to; your phone buzzed all night as you ignored his messages. Steve’s too. It had finally caught up to you and it felt worse than you could imagine. A man you admired thought you nothing more than a floozy. Well, maybe you were.
Saturday shone through your window and you rolled over. You were exhausted; mentally, emotionally. Your hours were spent reprimanding yourself. Going over all your mistakes; every single choice that had led to such disaster. You sat up and rubbed your eyes. You moved slowly, your body cramped from the tension.
The grind of your coffee machine filled the apartment as you sat at your desk. A mark of your guilt. A gift from one illicit lover; another having defiled you a top it. A year ago, to think of all that had transpired, you would’ve been appalled. You were. You’d sold your integrity for fleeting pleasures. You felt cheated. By yourself more than any.
You filled a mug and grabbed your phone from beside your bed. You hadn’t looked at it since you laid down the night before. Missed calls, unanswered texts, unread emails. You answered Bucky first, a simple ‘I wasn’t feeling well. Sorry.’ Besides, he had plans with Tanya, or was busy dodging her.
You texted the same to Steve and his response was swift. Your phone vibrated as his ID flashed across the screen and you answered the call after several rings. You were weak, breathless.
“Hey,” You said quietly and sipped your coffee.
“Hey, you okay?” He asked.
“Fine,” You lied poorly. “Work’s kept me busy and… I guess it’s gotten ahead of me.”
“Oh,” He uttered. “Any plans today?”
“Rest,” You shrugged and sat back in your chair. “After I sort through all my work emails and catch up.”
“Bucky?” He asked.
“I… I’m tired.” You grumbled. “I… need a break.”
“I’m sure work would understand if you took a day to yourself.” Steve said.
“No, no, I can’t do that,” You said suddenly. “I wasn’t talking about work.”
“What do you--”
“You shouldn’t be calling me. You should call Kylie. See how she’s doing.” You interrupted. “And Bucky should worry about his students. About marking and whatever. And I need to think about myself and my job.” You stood and paced around the small space of your apartment. “I’m sorry but… you said it yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, so I’m going to be selfish and think about my future because fucking old men isn’t going to get me anywhere.”
You hung up before he could respond. And then your heart sank. Why had you said that? It all had spilled from you so quickly. You cringed and your phone began to buzz again. It was Steve. You let out a shaky breath and dismissed the call. You set your phone to do not disturb’ and tossed it on your bed. Maybe your words were rash but it didn’t make them any less true.
💋
Monday. You walked into Adder Press with a pit in your stomach. You were jittery from more than your morning coffee. You gripped the strap of your bag tightly as you passed Stacey. Everything around you seemed distant, obscured by the haze that fell over you. You sat at your desk, numb, and began to set out your stuff as you always did. In a desperate attempt to make it all feel normal again.
As you waited for your computer to boot, you felt a subtly weight on the back of your chair. You looked up at Loki as he gripped the chair and smirked down at you. You blanched and your pen slipped from your hand. He bent to grab it before you could and as he rose, he dragged the lid against your leg. He held it out and you snatched it from him.
“Morning meeting in five,” He said as he stood before you. “Then I wanted to go over layout with you. A useful lesson if you ever hope to be anything more than a freelancer. You have to have a good eye… for detail.”
You gulped and nodded. “Yes, okay, yeah.” You set the pen down on your desk. “Five minutes.”
He winked and left you there to stew in your shame. You glanced around but no one else seemed to notice your tense interaction. They were all too concerned with their own schedules, their own presence at the meeting. Really, who cared much about the summer intern?
You were antsy as you walked into the conference room. You hid between Vanessa, a political pundit, and Jory, who covered local business stories. Loki sat near the head of the table as the marketing head went over the final prints of the Pride issue. You folded your hands before you but couldn’t concentrate. 
Your eyes wandered from the powerpoint and you found the editor-in-chief peering over at you. Another sinister grin sent a chill through you. You looked back to the screen and prayed for the day to go quickly. Your heart felt as if it would explode.
When you broke out, you dragged your feet and were the last out of the room. You lingered at your desk as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Loki’s office beckoned to you ominously. He stood in the doorway watching you; waiting for you. You neared him as his lips curled.
He shut the door and you jumped at the click. He brushed past you before he rounded his desk. He pulled a chair with him and placed it beside his. He waved you over. You took a breath and crossed to him. As you sat, he pinched your ass and you pressed your lips together to keep from yelping.
His hand settled on your thigh as his other moved his mouse. He opened a page from last month’s issue and kept his eyes on the screen as he kneaded your leg. “We’ll go over composition. How to draw the reader’s eye and using layout to enhance your words.”
You nodded stiffly and shakily opened your notebook. He kept his hand on your thigh as you place the book on his desk and uncapped your pen. He circled the title with his cursor, entirely unfazed by your discomfort. His fingers slipped closer to your pelvis.
“Titles are easy but you’ll want to position them according to article type as well. Is it an editorial? Review? Reflective?” He continued. “Now, most editors would leave this to marketing and such but… I try to be hands on with every aspect of my business. My seal is on every page, ever word, that goes out.”
You scribbled down a jumble of words as his hand slid between your thighs and he squeezed. You flinched and he let out a soft chuckle under his breath. You kept your wide eyes on the monitor and he carried on his lesson. His hand never quite reaching its target. He was teasing you. Asserting the new power he held over you.
When he finished his spiel, he drew away and turned his chair to face you. His legs were far apart and you tried not to look at the obvious bulge in his pants. You kept your head down as you slipped your notebook down onto your lap. 
“I’ve got an important lunch date tomorrow,” He said. “I should like you to accompany me, darling.”
You peeked up at him. “Okay.”
“Sceptre Press is looking to expand its mediums. The director of Celestial has agreed to discuss a partnership.” He said coolly.
“Oh?” You breathed. “They… do podcasts?”
“Mostly,” He confirmed. “But, my dear, do wear something nice. A skirt.”
You crossed your legs. Your straight-cut pants felt thin enough. “Alright.”
“No panties.” He licked his lips. “Our little secret… well, another one, yeah?”
“Okay.” You said. You bit down and your pen rolled out of your grasp once more. 
His eyes followed the pen and flicked back to you. “Well, go on,” He mused. “Very… clumsy today.”
You bent to retrieve your pen and he caught the back of your head. He held you there and rolled his chair closer so that his lap was only inches from your face. He snickered as you tried to pull away but quickly gave up. His other hand stretched over his crotch and he grasped his erection through the thin fabric of his trousers.
“I could make you do it right now,” He slithered. “Hmm?”
“Yes,” You uttered. 
“I’m tempted,” He rubbed himself and shifted his hand as he pushed you closer. “Kiss it.” You closed your eyes and kissed his bulge. He shivered and let you go. You sat up, dizzy, and he grinned at you. “Not yet.” He preened. “But I do have to take care of this…” He ran his hand across his lap again. “So if you would excuse me. I am certain you have work to catch up on.”
You stood and back away slowly. “Yes, sir.” You turned as you rounded the desk.
“Sir? I like that,” He called from behind you as you neared the door. “Oh, darling, one more thing.”
You spun back to him and shielded your chest with your notebook. “Yes?”
“I’ll need some inspiration so before you sit down, go to the lav and take a nice photo for me.” He made a show of unzipping his pants behind his desk. “I bet you’re wearing a sweet little white bra, aren’t you? Maybe a precious pink number?”
Your throat tightened as you stared back at him. “Okay.” You forced out. “Is that all?”
“For now,” He shooed you away with a wave of his fingers. “As you will.”
💋
You had few skirts to choose from. You settled on a lavender one that ended just above your knees. With it, you wore a blouse with a Peter Pan collar and a grey blazer with three-quarter length sleeves. It wasn’t as enticing as any other outfit you owned; which was not at all. Perhaps that would work in your favour.
When you arrived at the bistro, Loki waved you ahead of him as you followed the hostess to your booth. You slid across the bench first and he was close behind. He took out his phone and checked it before he set it face down on the table. He asked for water and nothing else.
Your leg shook under the table nervously. He grabbed your thigh to still you. The waitress returned and he thanked her, his hand still on your leg. When she departed, his fingers slowly gathered your skirt. You reached to pull it back and he tssked.
“Our associate has informed me she’s running late.” He grinned. “About twenty minutes or so.” You squirmed as his hand slipped beneath your hem. “I think we can fill our time accordingly.”
“L--Mr. Laufeyson,” You gasped. “Someone might see.”
“They’d have to be watching us very closely,” He leaned against you as his fingers crawled along the top of your thigh. “Now,” He shoved his hand between your legs roughly. “Let’s have some fun, darling.”
You parted your legs reluctantly and he tickled along your cunt. You grabbed the edge of the table and your eyes searched frantically. The other diners were occupied with their own meals, their own company. You felt as invisible as you had back at the office. He rubbed you slowly. He lifted his glass with his other hand as he continued.
“After our meeting, I think we’ll head back to the office and call a conference. We’ll need ideas for prospective podcasts,” He swirled his fingertips and you let out a long breath between your teeth. “Of course, if this all goes to plan.”
You whimpered as you felt yourself getting wet. His fingers glided easily along your folds as he spread your arousal. You planted your elbow on the table and held your chin as you bit your lip. Mortified, you tried to hide your face.
“Uh uh,” He grabbed your wrist and shoved it down as his fingers dipped inside you. “Look at me.”
You leaned back against the booth as you looked over at him. He smirked as he moved his fingers steadily in and out of you. He pressed his palm to your clit and the sensation made your legs shake again.
“Is this what you like? Sneaking around?” He taunted. “Is this what he does, hmm? Or maybe he bends you over his desk?”
“Mr. Lauf--” You swallowed down a moan and clapped your hand over your mouth.
“I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it,” He sped up and your thighs squeezed his hand. “Are you going to cum? Here in front of everyone? In the middle of this restaurant?”
Your eyes rounded and you grabbed his shoulder pleadingly. You couldn’t speak, afraid you would cry out instead.
“You like being a naughty little girl, don’t you?” He curled his fingers and you heard a subtle squelch as your walls twitched around him. 
You bared your teeth and latched onto his arm. You rocked your hips without thinking as you came. You let out a shuddery breath and he slid his fingers out of your cunt, sure to drag them along your folds. He untangled his arm from your grasp and you fell back against the seat and pushed down your skirt.
He raised his hand and ran his wet fingers over your lips. He pressed against your mouth until you opened it. He stared into your eyes as he made you suck your own cum off his knuckles. He withdrew them and used a napkin to wipe away your saliva.
“It is a pity, however, that this lunch should set you behind, darling,” He crossed his legs and drank from his water again. “You will have to stay late tonight… to catch up.”
“Yes, sir,” You ceded.
He smirked and looked around. A moment of silence before he perked up and stood. He buttoned his jacket so it hid his bulge and greeted the tall woman who approached you. He shook her hand with the same one he’d just had between your legs. You stood in kind. Your legs felt weak.
“Valerie,” He purred. “Thank you for fitting us in today.”
“Us?” She looked between you. “And sorry about the delay. Traffic was… traffic.”
“My intern,” He introduced you by name, “She’s shadowing me for the day. To get an idea of the business and all its little quirks.”
You shook her hand and you sat down as she did the same. The server was quick to appear and offer you menus. You eagerly took yours, hoping to hide behind it for the rest of the meal. Especially as that familiar and irresistible tingle nestled in your core.
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the-witty-pen-name · 4 years
Text
Deadbeat Pt. 8
Lee Bodecker x F!Reader
18+ ONLY
Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), fluff, angst, cursing, abandonment, toxic parent, violence, toxic siblings, infatuation, cheating/divorce, insecurity, mild housewife kink, mentions of prostitution, mentions of alcohol, corrupt official, fake relationship, jealousy, jail
Word Count: 3.5k
Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room.
A/N:
IMPORTANT UPDATE
I made a Google form to be added to my taglists, so if you want to be added, the link is in my bio. I’ll only be adding people to the list if they requested to be added by filling out the form! This way all of the requests are just in one place so I don’t miss requests! Thank you!!!
Also, if you are liking this series, consider checking out my new Lee Bodecker series, The Nanny. Part One
Thank you all so much for reading and sharing my work. Everyone whose reached out and told me how much they love the story really makes my day, oh my gosh!! I love you all so much, I’m so thankful.
This is unedited, and I missed anything I should include as a warning let me know! I hope you all enjoy!
Also, even when this fic is over (it’s not yet don’t worry!), I want to continue writing for Lee and this reader, so send me ideas of what you would want to see! Smut, fluff, I just wanna hear ideas you think would match this story! Like moments of them living together, dreams, or even ideas for one shots of Arvin x Reader when they were dating if you want more from that aspect of the story... anything else you want to see with this story that will be like one shots that are part of this same universe. 
Tags and Requests are OPEN
Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven
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That’s the funny thing about time. More often than not it’s the one to dictate you and not the other way around. Rationalizations regarding time hardly ever work out in your favor.
Oh, I just need more time for this, and then everything will work out.
Just need to make it through this week and then next week will be better.
If I had had more time, I could’ve gotten everything done.
How often did those actually ever work out? Time, especially in this town, was never an ally. It worked against you, spreading and infecting as fast as a forest fire. Time let rumors spread and time allows for circumstances beyond your control to unfold. It’s the catalyst that expertly pulls people apart and sometimes if you’re lucky, back together.
Perhaps, two years ago, you would have thought you would have been one of the lucky ones. One of the select few that time actually heals, but you had since given up on that notion. Lee was gone, ripped from you as quickly as he had swooped in. Your job was ripped from you as well, leaving you incapable of supporting yourself. And now you had Tommy back as well you needed to worry about. That was the one positive in the whole mess Lee left you to clean up alone.
The events like a domino effect just tore things done one by one. Now the room is cleaned out and his things are tucked away in boxes in your garage just like his car. It was the only physical evidence that had proved it all had actually been real.
You didn’t even want to try to visit him at first. You were hurt, and felt used. He had kept so much from you, especially your job. His lies had been so effortless. It bothered you immensely. He let you believe you had been able to land it by yourself. Maybe you could have. But now you’ll never know. What employer is going to hire you now?
Tommy got a job fairly quickly and you found a job outside of town, away from the people who knew your name or Lee’s. The article published that revealed Lee had gotten you the job was evidence enough for the town that all the rumors and gossip that they spread with no forethought were actually true. You had slept with him for the job, of course. Some people pinned the blame on him and some on you.
It took you six months of him being gone before you would even go in his room. Anything of yours that had secured a permanent spot there you just went without. But you needed the money, and Tommy had the good idea to get another tenant. He helped you box everything up and move it all down to the corner of the garage, making it all out of sight out of mind.
You had managed to sneak several of his shirts into the bottom drawer of your dresser. You were impressed with how much of a front of indifference you were able to put up. You had made it like an assembly line, and you ignored the tug at your heart at how it reminded you of when he first moved in. Keeping busy kept your thoughts at bay. However, nothing prepared you to what you found in the drawer of his nightstand.
You had just wanted to get the work done fast, removing the whole drawer and dumped the contents into a cardboard box. It was mostly junk, but then a black velvety box had caught your eye. It stood out from everything else. You hadn’t been nosy, and up until this point, you hadn’t given much thought to any of the items you had been packing away. It was a necessity to keep you sane.  But like Pandora’s box, you really just couldn’t control the urge to open it. You reasoned it was probably cufflinks or something for special occasions he just never wore. But the temptation was just too much and you sat down on the floor and fished it out of the half-filled box. You opened it and you immediately burst into tears. Not once had you cried since he had been gone. You hadn’t given yourself the opportunity to, not when there were so many things that needed to be done.
It looked brand new, a gold band with a perfectly round diamond sat perched in the box that he had hidden away in the junk drawer he assumed you’d never have a reason to go through. You distinctly remember Janie’s ring had been white gold, and you remember Lee had told you she kept her ring. He said he didn’t want it back anyways; he had said over coffee one morning. Nope, this was yours and the receipt you found in the cardboard box confirmed it when you saw the date printed on the top. He had gotten it a month before your whole world went to shit.
For the next two weeks, you had kept it stashed away, hidden under the t-shirts you selfishly kept out as well. The weeks really started to blend together, just going through the motions and not really feeling like you were living. You were on autopilot. And before you had realized it, it was coming up on a year. Time had moved somehow simultaneously slow that year and also fast enough for you to lose track. You hadn’t moved on. You were just ignoring it, not wanting to acknowledge the hurt that was still behind your eyes, still as apparent since the day he was carted away.
One night, you don’t know what switch in your mind flipped, but you started crying in the shower and then couldn’t stop until you had cried yourself to sleep. You had just exhausted yourself and the cycle continued night after night as soon as you stepped in the door after work. You were lying on your bed, still in your clothes that you had worn to work even though it was way past midnight. You turned your head and just stared at the bottom drawer of the dresser, your eyes straining from the tears and also from the darkness. Maybe, just maybe, it would make you feel better. You got up, walked over to the dresser and sat crisscross in front of it. It was probably the first conscience decision you had made in weeks. Somehow it made you feel more alive.
Stripping down to just your underwear, and leaving the work clothes haphazardly in piles on the floor, you grabbed one of the t-shirts and pulled it over your head. Just the smell of him cleared your head. The way it was able to just aid your headache was almost instantaneous. It smelled like him. It grounded you, and had the opposite effect you thought it would have. You skeptically believed you were torturing yourself, and grabbing one of his shirts would make you feel worse. For the first time in a while, you felt comforted and finding a candy wrapper in the front pocket just made you smile.
You then pulled out the ring and looked at it, taking it out of the box for the first time. You slipped it onto your left ring finger. It was a little loose, but Lee didn’t do awful guessing your ring size. You didn’t care, you thought it fit perfectly. It was understated and stunning and you had never seen a nicer ring. It was simple, very unlike what your relationship had been. Actually, that wasn’t true, you realized. It was very easy falling in love with Lee, and when it was the two of you, it was perfect. It was the world and circumstances outside of your control that made it complicated. You also realize you had forgiven a while ago, but you had been too stubborn to admit it.
Fuck it. Fuck everything that you let overpower you for so long. What? The old ladies at Church call you a slut? Let them. The amount of weight that words hold over everyone here is so toxic. No one in this town was a saint. The whole town is held hostage by their own twisted dark secrets and the way people get by is just exposing the secrets of others. No one was moral. You hadn’t done anything wrong. What was your crime? You did nothing. Lee was as guilty as sin, but what made them better? What gives anyone the right to decide for themselves his motives, and ignore the good in him to villainize him?
It was early Saturday morning. Getting up from your spot, somehow feeling lighter on your feet, you see its after two in the morning. You settle back into your bed, and the revelation allows you to have the most restful sleep you can ever remember having. You woke up feeling refreshed, and feeling alive. Your head was clear. You still didn’t look good. Your undereye bags were dark and heavy. It would take more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep to remedy those. The pain behind your eyes was still there, but the motive had changed. It was a longing, and a missing of him that weighed heavy on your head.
You wake up shortly after seven and your body doesn’t allow you to sleep in despite your attempts. You get ready for the day, changing into a pair of your fitted jeans that were cuffed, a pair of your Keds and one of your white t-shirts. You grabbed your purse, and made your way downstairs. Tommy had already left for work early and he doesn’t like to wake you. It was probably better, because had he been there, he would probably talk you out of what you were going to do.
The bus was pretty crowded, always was on Saturday morning. You hadn’t realized how close he was to you this whole time until you realized you had been on the bus for less than twenty minutes. This whole time, he had felt so far away, almost like he was erased, even though he was just in the next town. You arrived just as visiting hours had begun. You weren’t even sure you’d be allowed to see him, or if he’d want to see you. You hadn’t come before, and you wouldn’t blame him if he refused to see you. Hell, you didn’t even know what you’d say. You didn’t think about it once. You just wanted to see him.
The guard at the front desk took all your information and got you situated and then you just had to wait. It was probably less than fifteen minutes you had to sit there but it felt like forever. It was that familiar feeling of time messing with you again. Finally, the same guard returned and led you down a really bleak hallway, until you reached a room with a long table, with seats and dividers, and phone receivers. The seats situated across from each other separated by think glass. You gulped, you’d only ever seen rooms like this in the movies, and you shuddered facing where Lee had been stuck for so long. You weren’t the only one there, and other prisoners in beige scrubs were seated behind the glass talking over the receivers with their loved ones.
You took the seat the guard motioned to, and you thanked him. You were trying your best to not shake or show how nervous you were to see him again. You were scared he would hate you for not coming sooner, or he’d say he didn’t want to see you again. You couldn’t blame him. It has been a year. Yet, your heart leaps and betrays you when he walks in and any brave front you had is gone. He looks more tired than you, and his hair is slightly shorter than when you last saw him. But overall, it’s still Lee and goddamn, what you wouldn’t give to break the glass. The silence is deafening when he doesn’t even look up at you when he grabs the receiver. Does he not even want to look at you? He sat down without even looking up from his feet. He looks so defeated.
“Lee?” you ask softly into the receiver; you aren’t even sure if it picked up the sound. Apparently, it had because his eyes shot up at the sound of your voice. His eyes were wide and looked vulnerable as he scanned your face, like he was trying to keep from blinking.
“Oh sweetheart,” he gasps, “I’m so sorry. Everything- all of it. It was all my fault.” He also looks close to tears.
“I’m sorry I took so long,” you say, unable to pull your eyes from his.
“I didn’t expect you to even want to see me, darling,” he admits.
“You left an awful mess I had to clean up first,” you joke, making him chuckle halfheartedly.
“You deserve so much better,” he said sadly, “Settle down with someone your age, with a nice job or something- get out away from this place.”
“Christ, Lee, if I wanted that do you think I’d be here?” you joke. He smiles.
Four months ago, Arvin offered to drive you home from Church. Even with your brother being back, you still ended up going by yourself most Sundays. You weren’t even sure why you still showed up. It was an hour of being stuck in a room with a ton of people where you didn’t even have one ally. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. You had Lenora, who’s sympathetic smiles from across the aisle let you know her silent solidarity, and you had Arvin, who wasn’t one to care what others thought much anyways.
Leaving Church now since the news was finally printed, no one tried to talk to you afterwards except for Arvin and his family. His grandmother was still as sweet as always, but you could see how much she pitied you. Arvin was always friendly still, and he had been so helpful with everything.
“I don’t even care if it was true you know,” he said suddenly, pulling your attention from the open window on the passenger side.
“If what was true?” you ask looking back to him.
“You know, how everyone is talking,” he says in a hushed tone, not wanting to actually say it.
“That I slept with the Sheriff to get the job?” You finish his sentence for him.
“Yeah, I- It doesn’t change anything,” he says, “You’re still you and I don’t care. We’re all human.”
“It’s not true,” you confirm, crossing your arms, and then looking back out at the passing landscape.
“Look (Y/N),” Arvin continued, “I’m sorry about what happened. I feel awful. I want to do anything I can to help you.”
“You’re always such a good friend to me,” you smile, “You shouldn’t be putting yourself out too much for my sake.”
“I want to,” he insists with a smile, “We got a history, you and me.”
“Yeah,” you say with a content sigh.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately,” he admits nervously. He pulls in front of your house, and as usual he runs over quickly to get the door for you. “And just that we aren’t kids anymore,” he continues, and you nod. You dig for your keys as he talks.
“I got a job, pays pretty good,” he continues on, “You got a good job, and this old house. I know you better than anyone. I know it isn’t that romantic, but I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I’d love to marry you, if you’d have me.”
“A-Arvin, are you serious?” you ask, your heading whipping up at the sudden proposal you hadn’t anticipated.
“Tell me it wouldn’t make sense,” he laughs softly with a shrug, pushing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
“Arvin, I don’t want to just marry someone for the practicality of it,” you sigh.
“It’s you and me,” he continues, holding your shoulders gently and his eyes are latched onto yours. “I know I made a horrible mistake, but I have been trying so hard to make it up to you. You’re the only girl I ever loved- I never stopped. I loved you when we were eighteen, I love you know that we’re twenty-two and I swear if you let me, I can love you for the rest of my life.”
“Arvin…”
“It’s always been us, hasn’t it?” he asks rhetorically, “There’s never been anyone else…”
“I’m in love with Lee,” you say hurriedly, cutting him off before he continued.
“You what?”
“I’m in love with Lee,” you say again, slower and much more purposeful. You watch his whole expression fall, and it breaks your heart to hurt him.
“You’re in love with Sheriff Bodecker?” He asks, “That fucking deadbeat?”
“He’s not,” you insist, “You don’t know him…”
“You don’t either, (Y/N),” he cuts you off. “He’s no good and crooked. He manipulated you, took advantage…”
“No, he didn’t,” you affirm.
“(Y/N), he’s a liar, and he’s good at it,” he continues, “You don’t think he just up and told you anything he thought you’d want to hear to just get what he wanted…”
“You’re wrong!”
“He’s an alcoholic, no good drunk who took advantage of you with your mama gone…”
“Shut up!”
“He was using you!”
“You’re wrong, Arvin! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Okay, fine,” he sighs, “Let’s say you’re right. So, you’re gonna wait for him? Wait out the five years until you’re twenty-six? And then after you wait for him to get out, how do you know he wants you? Then what are you going to do? I know right now you hate me, but God, (Y/N), I’m a good guy who only wants to put your happiness first… I’ve always put you first. I love you and I’m not going to make you play a ton of games or keep things a secret. I’ll run around this whole town right now screaming how much I love you at the top of my lungs so the whole town knows.”
“I don’t love you.”
Lee still can’t believe you’re finally here in front of him. He thought about this moment for so long. He had even tried to prepare himself to brace the possibility that you might never want anything to do with him ever again. His dreams would plague him with thoughts of you. Sometimes they were happy, and he’d be woken up with the horrible realization that they hadn’t been true, and others were worse. He’d dream about getting out, and seeing you with someone else. Married, and happy, and he wasn’t the one you settled down with. Sometimes, he wouldn’t actually see you with someone else, it was always just implied, or he’d see you with Arvin.
Most nights he’d jolt awake and be covered in sweat, and he would still be cursed by the images that flashed before him in his dreams. He just thinks about all the things he wished he could change and how much he’s hurt you. He just thinks about all the things he would say if he ever got to see you, or what he would do to try to win you back. Then, other nights, he’d be much more self-deprecating and he’d internally fight with himself about how you don’t want him anymore, and you’d realize he was never what you wanted.
Now, he can’t believe you’re here across the glass. He could see the pain and exhaustion behind your eyes and he hates that he is the cause of it. He can’t stop looking at you, and part of him thinks he’s actually back in his room, having another dream about you that he will wake up from and find himself alone again. His eyes scan your face and just wants to take in every part of you, it had been so long. Then his eyes land on a shimmer of something on your hand and he might just die in his seat.
“You found it?” he whispers, looking at the ring on your finger. You look puzzled and then you follow his gaze down to your hand. You had forgotten you hadn’t taken it off.
“Um, yeah,��� you admit shyly, looking down at it, “I assumed it was mine.”
“It is,” he smiles, pressing his fingertips gently to the glass briefly. “If you really want it.”
“It’d be a shame for it to just sit in the box,” you shrug. Neither one of you say anything for a moment, neither one of you not knowing what to say to fill the silence.
“I’m going to wait for you,” you declare, aimlessly playing with the ring on your finger.
“Are you sure?” he asks. He can’t let himself get too hopeful. Not yet.
“I’ve never been surer of anything, Lee,” you affirm.
“I will make it up to you.”
“Yes, you will,” you joke, making him laugh.
“I love you,” he sighs relieved, like the weight of everything that has held him down this past year just vanished. You wanted him, and he wouldn’t lose you.
“I love you too.”
PART NINE
Taglist:
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ill-skillsgard · 4 years
Text
Nothing But Her - Henry Deaver x Mistress
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Warning: 18+ cheating/mature themes/strong language/spousal conflict
Note: It’s been about 2 months since the last installment of HxM, and I apologize for that. As you all well know, this year has been the topper on the world’s largest pile of shit, and I’ve tried to limit my time on the internet to not lose touch with my present reality. Aside from that, some writing burnout and adapting to the new norm posed some delays. But this is the angsty part I warned y’all about! It’s also a pivotal moment for Henry, so I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think! 
Read past Henry x Mistress imagines here > Masterpost
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Quarantine pushed back Henry’s court hearing. While business ground to a halt, you and Henry spent the weeks alone in his penthouse. He had his work meetings via Zoom calls and enjoyed his nights next to you on the couch watching your favourite shows. Over the weeks, you got to know Henry even better, learning and appreciating his quirks and figuring out what made him tick. It was a surreal experience living under the same roof as your lover. After years of being on your own, having another presence to fill the days with conversation and entertainment was a new, exciting notion. Even though you grew bored several times a day, Henry kept you occupied that didn’t involve rolling around in the sheets. It brought you even closer—the opposite effect it seemed to have on some of your friends and their partners.
Three months of domestic bliss oozed by, and soon, the business had to resume. Meetings had to be held in person, and you started arranging his schedule to accommodate his clients and the process of his divorce.
The rescheduled court date took place in two weeks. It was the first time Henry would go in front of a judge and explain the reasoning behind his failed marriage and why he should be granted an even split of the assets. Mary’s lawyers had already outlined her demands, but all Henry wanted was to sign the paper that freed him from her, no matter what she wished to gain from the proceeding. If she wanted the house and the more expensive car, and to sell their Summer cottage and take half the money, he was more than happy to oblige. He had all he needed when he was at home with you.
Henry was on a smooth road toward his goals until a letter arrived in the mail from his soon-to-be ex-wife’s lawyer. Henry opened the envelope and scanned the first few lines, skipping vital information before shaking his head and refocusing his attention. As Henry read, his stomach dropped. The hand holding the page shook before he balled up the paper and threw it on the floor. Anger gurgled in his chest as he took useless deep breaths.
“Fuck!” He shouted, alerting you from across the condo.
You found him in the kitchen, pacing and tugging at fistfuls of his hair. 
“Henry, what’s the matter?” You asked.
“What’s the matter? The matter is: Mary just scrapped our settlement! She wants it all. Everything! She wants the condo, my car... The summer house.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, scoffing. “I thought she agreed to an even split?”
“Says right here, the settlement is up for renegotiation because there are new allegations of infidelity.”
“Infidelity? You mean?—Oh, no. Henry. What does that mean?”
He picked up the paper and smoothed out the creases, slapping it down on the kitchen island for you to read. “It means she’s coming after me because I’m with you. This will maim us. If she has proof... Oh, God. I don’t even want to think of the sneaky shit she’s probably done.”
“There’s no proof! We started seeing each other after you separated.”
“But, we hooked up before then.”
You shook your head. “She can’t prove that.”
Henry went white as the paper glaring up at you from the countertop. “And what if she can? What then?”
“You have job security, Henry.”
“I have a bad feeling,” he mumbled to himself. “A very, very bad feeling something’s up.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to talk to her... Figure out why she’s doing this after we agreed to be civil.”
Your throat constricted as a grave veil fell over Henry’s face. 
“Can you call her?” You asked.
“I could, but I think this would be better suited to a face-to-face conversation. Mary can’t hide anything if I’m looking her straight in the eye.”
“Well, if that’s what you think. But what if she refuses to talk to you?”
Henry threw his hands wide, shrugging. “Honestly, babe, I don’t know what’s going on in her head. She’s... She’s fucked!”
You rose your eyebrows, his cursing a testament to genuine anger. Henry rubbed his jaw, shifting it to one side until it cracked. He couldn’t keep still, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to calm down until he got the newest issue out of the way.
“You should go talk to her. Today. Don’t put it off. I don’t like it when you get in these moods.”
“Neither do I, sweetie. But I can’t just drive over there and demand she explain herself.”
“Why not? It’s still your house. You can do whatever you want.”
He weighed his options, considering your input and gave another long, strained sigh. “You really think I should?”
“Yes! Go to her now before this goes too far to fix. She can’t pull this shit and expect you to roll over and get screwed. You worked hard for what you have, and you deserve half. She’s the one who initiated the separation by treating you like dirt. Now she wants to drain you all of a sudden? After months of negotiations, she just scraps it all? If I were you, I’d go in there guns blazing.”
Henry thought it over, dreading the thought of facing Mary again.
“You’re right,” he bit his lip. “God! You’re right, babe. I have to go over there.”
“I’ll be right here when you get home, handsome. You just let me know if you need a drink ready and waiting for you.”
“Thank you, baby. I love you so much. Gosh, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I love you too, Henry. Now go on.”  
~*~
The street, although familiar to Henry, reminded him of how much life had changed. He drove by the houses he used to see on his morning jogs—structures that all fit a similar style around the block and lent the neighbourhood a comforting intimacy. He remembered the first time he and Mary turned down the avenue; newlywed and eager to get their life started in a quiet alcove of town, on a suburban strip. The houses had all seemed so large and intimidating at the time, but he had struck gold in his career, and nothing was too fancy for them.
The Lexus was in the driveway. That meant Mary was home, and the impending confrontation became more real. A knot formed in his stomach at the thought of seeing her again. He knew their exchange would not be a pleasant one and prepared himself with a few calming yoga breaths—the kind his girlfriend had taught him when they worked out together during the quarantine.
“You can do this, Deaver. Just stay calm. No matter how loud she yells. No matter what she says to insult you,” he murmured after turning the engine off, sitting in the driveway until he mustered the courage to get out.
Henry didn’t try the keypad on the door. Instead, he rang the bell to not catch Mary off guard by walking in unannounced, despite no warning of the change of heart on her end that brought him to his former home in the first place. Henry respected her privacy, though he knew she wouldn’t consider the same for him. Flashbacks of Mary storming into his bedroom at the condo while his secret lover hid in the bathroom dried out his throat, and he swallowed as the deadbolt drew back.
Mary gasped when she looked up at him, closing the door slightly in her surprise, then squaring her stance and tossing her hair off her shoulders.
“What do you want, pig?”
“I want to talk.”
“That’s what the lawyers are for,” she began to shut the door again, but Henry splayed his hand over the wood, stopping it from closing another inch.
“Mary. I’m serious. We need to talk. Inside.”
“You’re insane if you think I’m letting you in my house.”
“My name is still on the house, and you have no orders against me coming here. Please don’t make this more difficult.”
Mary studied her husband’s face for a flicker of insecurity, but there was none. The months he spent in the company of a loving woman had revitalized his confidence, and her frigid glare no longer held him hostage. Henry came to Mary prepared for anything she might have left in her repertoire of vilification. She had already accused him of hiring prostitutes, embarrassed him in front of his employees and colleagues, belittled him in the presence of their lawyers and accosted him at the condo. Mary had nothing left with which to shock him.
“Fine,” Mary conceded, stepping out of his way. “Let’s talk, Henry.”
They sat down in the kitchen, old smells embedded in the plaster reminding Henry of different times, unhappier times. His eyes coasted over the stove they had purchased at Sears, the matching refrigerator, the countertop they selected out of catalogue as they sipped sweet tea in the living room and the dark floor laminate that had caused a minor argument. Though the memories were still so vivid, Henry knew not the man who’d fallen in love with Mary all those years ago. Looking at her now, it seemed impossible that he’d had any attraction to her at all. Not enough to justify the lavish proposal he’d given her, the hundred-thousand-dollar wedding and his commitment. Yet the house still possessed the comforting warmth Henry had fallen in love with when the realtor walked them through for the first time. 
“Would you like something to drink?” She offered.
“No, thanks,” Henry lied, throat still parched from secret nerves.
“Very well. What would you like to talk about? And if you can keep it speedy, I’d appreciate it. I have an appointment in forty-five minutes.”
Henry sighed and rolled his knuckles on the kitchen table as she took the adjacent seat. “Why did you change your mind? I thought we had this all sorted out. You get the house, the Lexus, the boat and half the money from the cottage sale. It’s enough for you to retire on, Mary. Why are you coming after the condo now? And the Beamer? You don’t even like the thing.”
Mary pursed her lips. She had thought about this conversation many times in the last few days, and how it might play out, as she expected to hear from either Henry or his lawyer at any moment. What she didn’t expect was her husband to show up at the door, appearing composed and ready to have a mature discussion. But he didn’t know the truth yet, and she suspected, once she revealed it, Henry’s calm demeanour might shift.
“Did you not read the letter? I thought it was quite clear.”
A tendon in Henry’s neck pulled as he snorted and shook his head. “Infidelity. You think I cheated on you.”
“I know you cheated, Henry.”
“I’d like you to explain how you came to that conclusion.”
Mary pushed her chair out to cross one leg over the other, hands clasping around her knee as she gave a sarcastic smile. Henry rolled his eyes at the smug display, waiting for her to get comfortable.
“Witnesses. Timelines. Footage.”
“Footage?”
“After you kicked me out of the condo, I hired a private investigator.”
“We were already separated by then. You can’t hold that over me. It will never play out in court,” Henry explained.
Mary sniffed, flashing delight in her eyes at the chance to prove Henry wrong. “See, I thought so too, but then I started digging a little deeper, asking around, and lo-and-behold, I made the connection. It’s your assistant.”
Henry went pale. Mary’s smirk spread into a full-blown smile.
“Ah, there it is. You were always a terrible liar, Henry. That’s right. I know it’s her. I have irrefutable proof now.”
“No, that’s impossible. I started seeing her after we separated. And there’s no rule against me having a relationship with her. Yes, it may be frowned upon at work, but it’s not against policy.”
“You sure you don’t want that drink, Henry?” Mary asked, getting up to get herself a bottle from the fridge.
“I want you to tell me exactly how you think you have me cornered.”
Mary sat down at the table, looked at her watch, and then sighed. “Well, after I went to the condo to get some things and I saw the state of the place, that’s when I knew you had at least had a woman over. And yes, we were separated, but nobody knew at the time. You were still keeping it hush-hush. So, as I said, I hired a PI to find out if you were seeing somebody. At first, I heard nothing from the investigator. You two were diligent. But then, you slipped up in the parking lot on your way into work one morning.”
Henry knuckled the table, scoffing at what Mary had to say, though his heart hammered a dent in his chest. “That still won’t hold up. We. Were. Separated.”
Mary’s pointed smile disappeared in an instant. Her eyebrows came together, and the delight on her face melted into cold disdain. Henry saw that expression many times, suffered under the weight of it, and it always sent a shiver down his back. 
“Oh, it will hold up,” Mary assured. “Because you made one colossal mistake.”
“Is that right? What, kissing my girlfriend because I was finally happy and in love?”
“No, you nitwit. We went to the benefit. Hundreds of our friends and colleagues saw us together. Theo and his wife sat with us all night and can confirm we were very much together. Couple that with the photos of you grabbing her ass and shoving your tongue down her throat in the lot at work, and you’re screwed. Looks like cheating to anyone but you.”
“Why the hell are you doing this to me? Did I not treat you right for our entire marriage—give you everything you ever wanted and more? I made sure you got the upper-class life and all the expensive little trinkets to go along with it. I did anything you asked of me. But still, any time I have even the smallest flame of happiness, you have to snuff it out! Why are you such a... Such a fucking bitch?”
The insult echoed through the kitchen and rattled in Mary’s head. Her eyes flared. “So you admit it then? You cheated.”
“I’d been miserable for a year and a half, Mary! After trying so hard to get you to come back to me, I was bound to give up. You despised me—you still do! And even after all this bullshit, you still won’t tell me why you treated me like a doormat for all those years.”
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
Henry threw up his hands. “Of course, you don’t! You’re not accountable for any of this, are you? You’re just a poor little victim! You’re so opposed to me finding happiness that you had to resort to hiring some idiot to follow me around!”
“Even if I didn’t hire somebody, I already knew. I knew it was her, too.”
“Oh, yeah? And how’s that? Did you hire someone to follow her around as well?”
“Your grandfather’s pen.”
Henry tweaked his mouth to the side, fluttering his eyes and shaking his head. “What about it?”
“You never let anyone touch it. You kept it on you at all times. Even during our happiest years, you wouldn’t have parted with the damn thing. Not even if I asked to use it. The day I came into your office—after my suspicions were already high—I saw her using it. And then I remembered her face. I’d seen her before. She used to work at the hotel we always stayed at across the city. That’s where you met her.”
Henry dropped his face into his hands, sighing through his fingers. He stayed that way for a long moment; the jumbling thoughts in his head creating fuzzy chaos. Mary had succeeded. He could deny it, but Henry was sick of the lies. Sucking a breath through his nose, he finally looked back up at Mary, his eyes bleary from pushing his palms into them.
“I fucked her in that hotel. In my room. I picked her up from the bar after we drank a tonne, and I fucked her. I ate her pussy all night, and, God... She fucked me like I’ve never been fucked before. And when I went to that big conference in Paris after I asked for a divorce, I flew her out to see me there. I’ve never had my cock sucked that well before. And you know what else? I think... Once we sign the divorce papers and you take everything I’ve earned, I’ll ask her to marry me. We won’t have shit, but I know I’ll be a thousand times happier with nothing but her than I ever was having everything with you.” 
“You’re disgusting.”
“No, you’re the disgusting one! You had every chance in the world to make it right with me, but you drew out my pain like it got you off.”
A gaping silence pervaded the room. Henry felt beads of sweat emerge on his back, and he swallowed, regretting his refusal of the water Mary offered. Stunned by his brash admissions, she stared at the table as though what she would say next was written in the spalted wood. The pulse in his neck choked off any more confessions, though he longed to watch her blanch from across the table a little more. Only the humming of the refrigerator filled the silence.
Mary drew in a shaky breath. “Leave her.”
The two words bounced around Henry’s head for a second before he chuckled. “Never. I love her.”
“Leave her, and I’ll drop this. We can go back to fifty-fifty.”
Henry pushed his chair out swiftly, and rose to his feet, leaning over the table so far he came a foot away from Mary’s face.
“Fuck. You. I’ll see you in court.” 
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prorevenge · 4 years
Text
Falsely Accused of Cheating, Then Dumped
Date: April 2, 2009, a couple days after I turned 30.
I had been dating a wonderful girl, we’ll call her Ratchet, for almost 3 years. And we were good together, I really did see her as my soul mate. We weren't living together yet, but I was just a few weeks away from popping the question. However, as plans will be plans will go awry.
Enter my friend (we’ll call him Skidmark), who I'd known since freshman year at a well known university, he was also a fraternity brother and someone I'd be proud to call a real brother. This is the guy I would've asked to be my best man, and not as it's often portrayed in cheesy romantic comedies or whatever. That is, until his act of betrayal when he told Ratchet (A LIE) that I cheated on her. Also, he had no evidence of said infidelity.
How did this play out? Ratchet had been staying at my place for the past couple days and I arrived home to find her packing her things. When she saw me, she started shouting at me. A lot of it was hard to make out, other than the profanity but here's what I did remember:
"How could you do this to us"
"I can't believe you"
"Skidmark told me everything"
I attempted to interject a few times, almost in tears in one point when I shouted, "Just listen to me for a second!" but she just got all pissy that I yelled at her, and walked out after telling me to get fucked.
So obviously I called Skidmark a few times, left a voicemail asking WTF he told her and wanting to know why he dragged me through the mud like that. The next morning I went over to his apartment - to find that he moved a couple days ago. How convenient.
The next day, I get a call from another good friend of mine (he was a solid guy, so let’s call him Solid - we met at the same university/fraternity) and it went something like this:
"Um, are you sitting down"
"No, what do you want to tell me"
"When did you break up with Ratchet?"
"I didn't, Skidmark told her that I cheated on her and she walked out on me"
"I just drove past that dive in your old neighborhood, she's with him. They were all smiles, holding hands and everything - I was wondering what was ..."
(I disconnected)
So it doesn’t take the guys from True Detective to figure out that he orchestrated this from beginning to end, and his prize was a new girlfriend – now my ex.
At the time, it felt like this backstabbing bastard destroyed my life.
Fast forward to six weeks later ….
On a Friday night Solid went to a popular bar/club in the area to hang out and throw down a few brews. And who do you think walks in about 15 minutes later.
Why, it was Skidmark!
It was a pretty large bar, and Solid apparently did a pretty good job of not being seen, even though he did see a few things:
Skidmark went in alone, but he's talking to some girl maybe 5 minutes later. A few minutes later, he buys her a drink. A few minutes after that, they're on the dance floor.
A few minutes after that .... let's say Skidmark could have gotten arrested if he didn't have consent to put his hands where they were.
Keep in mind, Solid has already sent me several texts about what's been going on. At one point he included several photos of the handsy dancers. In the last photo Skidmark was kissing the girl.
And now he must be melting his phone with how fast the texts are coming in.
"You gotta nail this guy, Ratchet needs to know what's going on!"
"Shit he almost saw me!"
"I had to skip out of there, but I've done enough damage heh heh"
"He was kissing her in that last one, wanna bet he'll go all the way?"
This is where the plan comes together. I tell him to get in touch with Ratchet, and ask her to meet him (about something urgent) at a coffee shop close to where he lives. Note: his place was over 30 min away from where I lived, so hopefully Ratchet wouldn't be suspicious. I recommended a coffee shop because it's a public place with outdoor seating.
Sunday morning, May 17:
I remember everything about this encounter – what I was wearing, what she was wearing, what it smelled like, it’s permanently etched in my memory. I approached a couple minutes after they sat down. Once Ratchet saw me, her face physically changed, and she immediately got up to leave. Solid reached out and grabbed her arm before saying "You owe me, remember? Sit down and listen!"
She reluctantly sits down, and with a very pissy look on her face she asks, "What do YOU want, Parkesc?" ***
I respond, "What he said, sit down and listen" and I ask to borrow his phone so I can call up Skidmark. I hand him mind and tell him to pull up the photos when I give him the signal.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Skidmark answers with "Sup Solid"
I respond, with the speakerphone on, "Well hey buddy!"
There’s a brief pause followed by “uuuh”
“No it’s Parkesc. I hope you don’t mind; I’m using Solid’s phone since mine’s dead.”
(Keep in mind, Skidmark’s voice in the rest of this conversation is pretty sheepish)
“Long time no see man, what’s been going on?”
“A whole lot’s been going on, actually. How was Friday night?”
“How was Friday night?”
“Yeah”
“Why would you ask man … I mean I … I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah I think we both know why you haven’t seen me in a while, but anyway, Solid told me he saw you at the bar the other night, getting down with some hottie.”
“Who said that”
“Solid, you know, our fraternity brother from (that university). And, ummmm, he saw you. With that girl. And he may or may not have taken some pictures.”
“What?”
By the way, Ratchet’s eyes are getting pretty big right now, Solid is motioning her to be quiet. She mouthed the words WHAT THE FUCK as he began to open my phone and go to the pics.
“Yeah I got a LOT of pictures. And you know, I think I can guess who would like to see them.”
“Cmon man, don’t do this man. Why you doin this, man? Why you doin this?”
“What are you kidding me? We haven’t spoken in over a month because you lied to my girlfriend that I was in love with and planning to marry. Now you’re messing around behind HER back.”
“Man it isn’t like I was trying to steal her, man.”
“WELL MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO, because Solid also mentioned he saw you two together. That was TWO DAYS after she walked out on me.”
“It’s not like that man, and you’re not gonna anything. I know you’re mad, but, cmon man.”
There was a brief pause, and my brain almost did a Ctrl-Alt-Delete after that auditory fuckpoop.
“No, you don’t know. And I’m not gonna CMON MAN.”
“Are you kidding me, you’re really gonna …”
“I’m doing this – right now, in fact. You’ve been on speaker the whole time, and Solid isn’t the only person here with me.”
“WHAT?”
And finally Ratchet chimed in.
“I cannot even believe you did this. What the hell? You’ve totally ….totally been lying to me and now you're cheating on me too?"
“No, no, no it wasn’t ….. FUCK! Really, Parkesc?”
“Basically, they’ve shown me all the pictures, I’ve been looking at them this whole time. What’s wrong with you, Skidmark??”
“I didn’t even know her.”
“What you mean, you didn’t know her??”
“Ok, you know what, fuck you Parkesc!”
And then Solid says his piece:
"WHOA WHOA WHOA, first of all, dude, you stole your best friend's girl with a BS lie, you just admitted it, and you're cheating on her anyhow!"
"Fine, whatever, it didn’t mean anything ….”
Ratchet responds with "Oh Please!” before she hangs up on him and turns toward me. She hands the phone back to Solid and he gives me back my phone with half a smile and a raised eyebrow. He probably expected a gratifying end to this escapade.
“Parkesc I am really sorry, I made a mistake. Is there any way ...."
“Stop right there!” I abruptly interject, with a sharp glare in my eye.
They’re both in shock.
“No, you never believed me, didn’t listen to one word I had to say. And you had no evidence, you just took that fuckhead’s word and walked out on me. Was it worth it?”
Solid was pretty much catatonic, stunned into silence. By the time I was halfway back to my car, I could have sworn I heard Ratchet starting to cry. I wouldn’t know because I refused to look back.
*** By the way, you’re probably wondering what the asterisks were for. Up until that point, there was still a snowflake’s chance in hell that Ratchet and I would get back together. When she didn’t even want to hear me out (yet again), I was done. I just didn’t let her know until I was finished with Skidmark.
I never heard from either of them again. Good riddance.
(source) story by (/u/parkesc)
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brooken-tcc · 4 years
Text
Brooke
It was the anniversary of my mother's death.
I was drunk, resting my head in Leela's lap, giggling about nothing.
We must had been loud, but we didn't care.
Ms. Polinski was on dorm watch and we weren't afraid of her, I actually think she was afraid of us.
She'd knocked about three times in fifteen minutes when she finally looked in, we never gave her an answer.
"Thompson, Donovan, you've got two minutes to dress up and go to sleep." She pointed at us and we looked at each other, bursting into laughter. "Alright that's it." She got her phone out and pretended to be calling someone.
"Stupid bitch." Leela whispered and I sat up to feel less dizzy. "Who's she calling?"
"No one." I rolled my eyes and walked up to Ms. Polinski. "Hasn't been two minutes, has it?" I smiled and walked past her to go to my bathroom.
I didn't need to go, I just wanted to annoy her. Then about two minutes later Leela walked in on me, wearing a shirt already and handing one to me.
"She fuckig called Owen." She said and I laughed again.
Leela didn't find it so funny.
Owen had the reputation of a chill, laid back guy, and the yelling, strict teacher at the same time. I think he had some self control issues. Anyway, he was all cool, until it came to cheating or using substances. Then he became the opposite of cool. Maybe he was bipolar.
But he'd never yelled at me.
Also, I wasn't sure if Polinski called him to yell at us or to hang with him, she definitely had a crush on him. Who didn't?
We decided not to get out of the bathroom, Owen wasn't allowed to come in, was he?
"Open up girls." I heard his voice. He sounded mad.
"Brooke's sick." Leela yelled and I groaned, kneeling in front of the toilet to pretend.
She held my hair and flushed the toilet.
"Can I come in?"
"No!" Leela yelled again, but the door opened and Ms. Polinski looked in.
I'm guessing she saw us being dressed and let Owen in, cause by the time I looked up he was standing next to me.
"You two are done with lacrosse, and you can be glad I'm not taking this any further." He didn't seem to be joking.
"Owen, I..." Leela tried, clearly scared.
I think she always took him more seriously than I did. Maybe she was right to do so.
"It's Mr. McField for you." He groaned and I could feel Ms. Polinski's pride, thinking she is the only one calling him 'Owen' tonight.
"We barely had anything, you can't be serious." Leela continued.
"I warned you three times." Polinski pointed at the door, telling Leela to go back to her room.
"You didn't." I shook my head, still kneeling at the toilet.
I figured I would make them uncomfortable and made myself throw up, I didn't want to be around them any more.
Just as I thought, Polinski ran to the hallway, unfortunately dragging Leela with her.
"You alright luv?" Owen got down next to me, flushing the toilet when I leaned back to the wall.
"Must be bulimic." I smiled after whipping my face with toilet paper.
"Definitely not drunk." He laughed. "I'm not gonna yell at you, but you're off my team." He said in a surprisingly nice voice.
Well I guess I deserved that. Papa will be proud.
"Alright, go on home." I nodded, I wanted him gone.
If he didn't see I was suffering, then I didn't need him there.
"I'm on dorm duty in the west wing." He filled me in, not sure what for.
"Then go do your job." I got up and went to the sink to wash my teeth.
"My hands are tied Brooke, I can't fuckig help you if you keep breaking the rules." He sighed and reached for the door. "I'm a teacher, for god's sake."
"That's right." I smiled with my toothbrush in my mouth. "So go on and be a teacher." I waved goodbye and he left.
He fucking left me again. Just like last time.
Well, I left him that time, but he could have come after me. Fuck him.
I fixed myself up and went to bed, having that bitch Polinski check on me twice as I did so.
I texted Leela to say sorry, it was my idea for once to drink tonight, I got her into trouble.
"I'm sorry Brooke. I know you don't want me to help you, but at least don't pretend I'm not trying to. - Owen" He messaged me.
He had my number from lacrosse tournaments, we had group chats and stuff, but we rarely ever texted privately, and even then, only about lacrosse.
This was strange, but exciting.
I guess Owen and I always had a strong bond, a bond that kept us feeling close to each other, even if we didn't necessarily knew the other one. We just felt like we did. And I liked that feeling.
"Ok." I answered and put my phone down, trying to fall asleep.
I knew I was being a bitch, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know how to act differently. I couldn't let people in. Maybe I should have.
"I'm sorry too." I texted him again, after laying in my bed for ten minutes. "I'm just fucked up. I understand your reasons for kicking us off, it's the right thing to do."
I was lying. I didn't think we should be kicked off, and I knew damn well I was gonna cry my way back to the team.
Or I might as well just hang myself before Papa does, when I go home as a failure.
"Yes. Why are you fucked up?"
"Isn't everybody?"
"Not as much as you."
"It's a long story. But just know, I don't mean to be a bitch to you. It's just what comes naturally."
He didn't answer for about three minutes and I thought our conversation was over, then he texted me again.
"You are a bitch, yes."
I laughed.
"Did Ms. Polinski make a move on you tonight?" I tried chatting about something different, not about me. Something fun.
"None of your business love..." Oh so now he wanted to be distant?
"Just jealous😛"
"Yes she did."
"Oooh."
"What'd she do?
"Go down?"
Again, no answer for several minutes, but I was too excited to fall asleep. I knew I shouldn't have reminded him of me going down on him, but I also didn't care.
Let him remember how good I was.
"Just wanted a chat. How are you?"
He was weird. Who texts like that? You don't send two different messages in one.
"That's what she asked?"
"No. I'm asking."
"I will be fine. Just gotta tell my father somehow."
"But it's not your fault🙃"
Yes, I already started making him feel guilty, you can never start too early.
"Heard some rumors about him. Will he take it okay?"
There it was. I'd known Owen for a while now, but we managed to skip the family stories so far. I didn't know anything about his and he didn't know about mine, or at least not from me. But as I already said, he must have heard things. And I was right.
"What did you hear?"
"Not much. But I know you're scared of him. I've met him, remember?"
Yeah, true, he always came to the end of the year ceremony, talking to my teachers about how proud he is of me.
He isn't, he just pretends to be.
"My parents beat me as a child. I understand your behavior. But it doesn't make it right."
Beat him? I didn't know that. Wow.
"Sorry to hear. Must have been rough."
I was sorry for him, I couldn't imagine having both parents be cruel to me.
"But he doesn't hurt me. Never has."
I lied.
I had been told several times not to leave trace of my abuse, or else there would be no trace of me.
And Papa wasn't just threatening. My mother didn't leave us, she was gone. Gone gone.
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