#Shauna is the new Plant

[rosesandmoonstones]

The Vintage Read discusses why she thinks Harry's reputation is being finessed. She is going to follow the media to track the work being done to salvage Sparry's reputation.

[megalony]

I Need Help

This is a new Eddie Diaz imagine I've had finished for a while now and really need to post. I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: During the night when one of their kids isn't well, Eddie gets up to look after her.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie kicked off his shoes in the hall and tossed his keys in the dish, raking his fingers through his hair as he headed down the hall. He was about to head into the kitchen until something caught his eye in the living room and he changed direction, steering towards the right instead.

The tiredness washed away like the tide going out when he took a look around. The tv was playing a Thomas the Tank Engine cartoon, the curtains were drawn and a few candles were lit around the living room, something that was a regular sight almost every evening when the sun went down.

But it was the sofa that drew Eddie's attention.

All three of his boys, huddled together on the verge of falling asleep. Chris was tucked up in the left corner with a blanket draped over his lap. He had Nate next to him in the middle with his head on Chris's shoulder, and beside him was Joey who could barely keep his eyes open.

"What are you lot doing up?" His eyes drifted to Chris who knew he was still allowed to be up since he was the eldest.

He advanced over to them and perched down on the end of the sofa beside Joey, watching him liven up almost immediately when his dad sat down next to him.

A cheeky grin spread across Joey's lips and he scrambled to climb onto Eddie's lap and huddle up against his chest, whining quietly until Eddie wrapped his arms around him in a hug. Eddie leaned his head down and kissed the top of his boy's head and he grinned, tightening his arms around Joey and gently swaying him from side to side.

And of course, feeling left out, Nate wriggled around until he could worm his way under Eddie's right arm and tuck into his chest too. He curled his arms around Eddie's neck and kissed his cheek.

Both four year olds looked like they were ready for bed which made Eddie wonder why they were still awake. He had been expecting only Chris to be awake when he came home.

"Hi daddy."

"Hi buddy, why aren't you two in bed?" He slouched back into the sofa until his knees bumped into the coffee table and he was almost getting lost in the sofa cushions. The boys both wriggled around until they were planted down on his chest with Nate's head on his shoulder and Joey curled up on his chest, both hands clutching his shirt.

He began smoothing his hands up and down their backs while he tilted his head back and strained his ears to try and listen to the sounds in the rest of the house. He couldn't hear the girls. If the boys were awake then chances were that Grace was up too and since Eddie couldn't see his third triplet anywhere, he figured she had to be somewhere with (Y/n).

"Where's Gracie?" He murmured softly against the top of Nate's head, but neither of them seemed to be in a talking mood. They were tired, they probably wanted to head to bed and go to sleep.

He tilted his head to look over at Chris who also looked tired, but was doing his best to stay awake to finish the cartoon he was watching.

"She was sick, mum took her for a wash."

Eddie's lips formed into a thin line and he nodded. Out of all the kids, Grace was the one who got sick the most. When the triplets had been born, she had been the smallest, weighing less than four pounds. Whenever there was a cold or an infection going round, Grace always managed to catch it and she had a hard time getting rid of them, having a weakened immune system. The triplets had been born premature, but both boys had faired a lot better and got back to health faster than Grace.

"Let's get you two in bed, hm?" With a deep breath, Eddie pushed forward from his heels to his toes and got to his feet, one of the boys in each arm.

Nate tightened his arms around Eddie's neck and pulled his knees up into his stomach to be smaller and easier to carry. Whereas Joe stayed wrapped up against Eddie's chest, half asleep already with his eyes closed.

Eddie juggled them both in his arms, more than used to carrying them all around. The triplets loved for Eddie to carry them all at the same time, even now that they were getting big since they were now four. And he strived to keep up and continue carrying them whenever they asked. It didn't matter how old they got, he still thought of them as his little babies.

He leaned down so he could kiss the top of Chris's head who grinned, burrowing his head back into the cushion behind him.

"Can I watch tv in your room?" Chris asked quietly, to which Eddie nodded and let him go ahead down the corridor first.

Turning to the side, Eddie nudged the triplets' door with his hip and headed in. The covers on their respective beds were askew, the curtains were closed and the night light was on. They must have either gone to bed or had been in the process when Grace was sick.

"Okay," He murmured quietly, easing Joey down first because he was practically asleep.

Once Nate was on his bed, Eddie tucked Joey in and moved a few of the teddies and toys from the bed. Joey liked to try and sleep with every toy he owned until there was no room for him in the bed. Numerous times Eddie had found him with bruises from lying on his toy trucks that he snook into bed with him.

With a kiss to his head, he moved to Nate who reached up and latched his hands around Eddie's arm when Eddie leaned to kiss his head.

"You stay, 'til we sleep?"

"Sure, buddy." Eddie kissed his temple again and brushed his thumb across Nate's cheek who snuggled down into the covers, but he didn't close his eyes. He kept a watchful eye on Eddie, making sure his dad wasn't about to leave the room and leave them alone.

He watched with intrigue as Eddie moved over to Grace's bed, but once he realised what Eddie was doing, Nate allowed himself to close his eyes. Knowing he could still hear Eddie pottering around the room.

Grace had clearly thrown up on the covers because (Y/n) had stripped the bed before she vacated the boys to sit with Chris while she sorted Grace out. So Eddie busied himself remaking the bed and changing the duvet cover. While the boys liked to have matching bedding, Grace was happier with Disney bedding with bright colours.

Just as he finished switching the pillow cases around, Eddie looked to the right when he heard soft footsteps.

A tender smile flooded (Y/n)'s face when she realised Eddie had already gotten the boys into bed. She leaned her cheek on top of Grace's head as her daughter snuggled down against her chest, her whimpers now ceased to quiet murmurs.

"Hi babygirl, you feeling better?" Eddie held his hands out when Grace seemed to become animated and she wriggled around immediately to try and get to Eddie.

Her arms looped around his neck and her face tucked down against the collar of his shirt so that Eddie could feel her damp hair clinging to his cheek and her lips kissing his neck. He smoothed his hand up and down her back and kissed her wet hair before he carefully sat down on the bed and tried to lay her down.

"Been sick." She muttered somewhat defeatedly while her arms stayed deadlocked around Eddie's neck. She didn't seem to want to let go until (Y/n) held out her teddy bear to her as an exchange.

"I can tell," Eddie responded quietly before he kissed her temple when her arms finally unravelled from his neck. "Try and get some sleep, I'll come back in to check on you soon, okay?"

Once she was curled up in a ball with her teddy pinned tightly to her chest, Eddie got up and followed (Y/n) out the room. He left the door ajar slightly just in case any of them needed anything or Grace cried out that she was going to be sick again.

A grin worked its way onto (Y/n)'s face when she felt Eddie's arms swoop in around her waist, reeling her into his chest like a fish on a hook. His lips attached to the side of her neck and he swayed them from side to side. He felt (Y/n)'s hands move down to hold his wrists and she leaned her head back on his shoulder, allowing her to pepper a few soft kisses against his temple.

"Did you have a good day?"

"Interesting, to say the least, and I don't think it's over yet." He had a funny feeling that Grace was going to keep them up throughout the night, no that he could blame her in the slightest. If she wasn't well, Eddie was going to be checking on her during the night and probably getting up to settle her down when she woke up.

But he was hoping she got a few hours sleep for now, it would make her feel better and it would let Eddie have a bit of time with (Y/n) and Chris before the night was conscripted to running in and out of the triplets' room.

***

A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips when he heard the bedroom door close for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. His had felt heavy when he lifted it from the pillow and looked towards the doorway, although he couldn't see properly now the light of the hallway had been shut out.

His eyes followed (Y/n) through the darkness as she slowly trudged towards the bed that looked like heaven to her weary bones.

Her legs felt like jelly and her head was swimming so deep that the room was spinning on its axis around her. She didn't know what time it was, it had to be some time past midnight but before four because she could see the blackened sky through the gap in the curtains.

This was the third time tonight that Grace had woken up crying and although she had originally been whimpering out for Eddie, he had been asleep and (Y/n) didn't want to wake him. He had settled her to bed and been back to calm her down around midnight, it wouldn't be fair for (Y/n) to wake him up and make him calm their daughter down, again.

The moment her hands reached out for the bed, (Y/n)'s eyes fell closed and she crawled into bed, feeling half asleep already.

The moment she was beside him, Eddie flopped his arm forward and looped it around her waist. He gently pulled (Y/n) back towards him until her back hit his bare chest and he was able to tuck his face into the crook of her neck and smother his lips against her warm skin.

"How is she?" Eddie's deep, rumbling voice was laced with sleep and showed he was barely awake, the same as (Y/n). He continued tiredly peppering kisses along her neck and jaw while his hand splayed out on her chest and this thumb stroked up and down her skin over her top.

"She was sick again, but she's gone back to sleep now."

"If she wakes again I'll go stay with her."

A few weeks ago when Joey had been sick during the night, (Y/n) had woken up in the morning to an empty bed. She went in search of Eddie and found him in the triplets' room, cramped into Joey's small bed with Joey laid out on his chest, fast asleep. She had been surprised that the other two hadn't climbed on top of him in a dog pile, but they must not have noticed that Eddie had spent the majority of the night in their room.

(Y/n) knew if Grace started crying out for Eddie, he would go see her and he would end up staying with her for the night to make sure she was okay.

Each of the four kids had the amazing ability to wrap Eddie around their little fingers in their own way but when they were ill, they all wanted hugs and cuddles.

Tonight was going to be no different.

(Y/n) could feel herself drifting in and out of sleep, but she found it hard to properly switch off. Part of her mind was on alert, waiting for Grace to cry out or be sick again or scuttle into their bed and say she couldn't sleep. And she was also expecting Nate and Joey to therefore wake up too and find it hard to settle again. The boys had been waking up every time Grace threw up and then (Y/n) and Eddie had to settle all three of them back to sleep.

She nuzzled her face into the pillow and willed herself back to sleep, unsure how long she had been dozing off for.

She could hear Eddie's soft breathing behind her and she could feel his lips merging with the back of her head. He had edged even closer to her since she climbed back into bed and now had his lips and nose pressed down against her hair.

Eddie's arm had stayed secured around her waist and his chest was glued to her back like they were merging into one.

She felt Eddie hum in content in his sleep when she wriggled back against him and burrowed down into his embrace. Her hand reached down to grip his arm that was deadlocked around her waist and she clung to him, hoping their closeness would send her back to sleep.

"Daddy…"

(Y/n)'s eyes began to flutter and her head started to spin again as she tried to wake herself up but it was hard when every inch of her was desperate to stay asleep, curled up into her husband. But if she didn't get up now, then Eddie would have to wake up. One of them had to move.

A yawn escaped her lips and she moved her head around on the pillow, slowly opening her eyes to try and see where her little girl was. Her voice sounded distant and quiet, maybe she was in the doorway. Grace had a thing of lurking in doorways, afraid of walking into the room late at night when she knew she was supposed to be asleep.

It didn't matter that (Y/n) and Eddie always told her that it didn't matter when she wasn't well. If she needed them, she could wake them up or come out of her room and find them around the house for whatever she needed and she wouldn't be in trouble. She still got worried and hung back in doorways.

"Baby, what's the matter?" She willed herself not to fall back asleep and tried to look around for her little girl.

Maybe Grace couldn't sleep for feeling sick and she wanted to climb into their bed. It wouldn't be the first time and neither her nor Eddie would object to Grace spending the rest of the night with them. It would save them having to keep getting up to go into her room to settle her.

She opened her eyes and looked ahead of her at the side of the bed just as Grace's meek, delicate voice caught her attention again.

"I need help."

Eddie's eyes shot open and his body jolted against the bed when (Y/n)'s scream pelted through his ears and sent shockwaves through his body.

He jerked forward, tightening his left arm around (Y/n)'s waist while simultaneously pulling her back against his chest to keep her safe and close. Their legs were tangled together and Eddie couldn't quite loosen his leg from between her thighs, despite not knowing the threat or realising what was going on.

His chest was heaving and his head snapped to look around the room and find the intruder. There was a baseball bat tucked under Eddie's side of the bed which his mind was intently trying to focus on in case he had to take a dive to grab it and defend them.

They hadn't had a break in before. They had never had a scare like that and Eddie couldn't remember the last time he had woken up to his wife screaming.

"Amor-" He briefly looked down at (Y/n) who was pushing back into his chest, but when he looked in front of her, his chest tightened until he wasn't able to breathe properly. The air fizzled out of his lungs and his jaw loosened and hung down in silent shock.

He hastily uncurled his arm from (Y/n)'s waist and leaned his chest down into her back so he could reach out for her nightstand. He switched on the bedside lamp, illuminating the dark grey room with a golden orange aura. Tears welled behind his eyes and every muscle in his body tensed until it felt like he was going to snap in two when his eyes set on his baby girl.

"Oh God!"

Grace was stood at the side of their bed, tears falling from her eyes that were a mixture of tired and petrified, but it was her face that sent her parents reeling. Blood was everywhere. Blood was painted over her nose, mouth and chin and smeared onto her cheeks from where she had tried to wipe it away. It was all down her neck and splattered on her pyjamas like she had tucked into a bowl of strawberries before bed.

Eddie practically climbed over (Y/n) to jump off the bed and scramble onto unsteady legs in front of his four-year-old. His hands cupped her bloodied face and tilted her head from side to side to try and see where she was hurt.

"Babygirl, what happened, were you sick again?"

His eyes briefly scanned the room as if to make sure there was no one lurking in the doorway or hanging around a corner ready to pounce and attack them but the room was empty and safe. He looked back at Grace and tilted her head up before he gently moved his thumb to her lower lip and opened her mouth to check she hadn't thrown up the blood. It was smeared all across her face and down her lips.

If she had thrown up blood then Eddie would have to take her down to the emergency room right now.

"Daddy, my nose… I'm sorry." Grace gently touched her button nose that resembled her mother before she held her hands out towards her dad who looked down to see them covered in blood.

She had never had a nosebleed before. She woke up thinking she was going to be sick but when she looked down, her nose had unleashed a river of blood that splattered down her face, onto her clothes and her bed and she didn't know what to do or how to stop it. Just as Grace reached her parent's room, the bleeding stopped but she was still covered in blood.

She had managed to quietly scramble out of bed so she didn't alert her brothers and wake them up. She didn't know what her brothers would say if they saw all the blood. She hadn't been sure what her parents would say or do when they saw it and she feared she might get in trouble for making such a mess.

"Oh baby. It's okay, let's get you cleaned up."

Eddie gently scooped her up in his arms and sat her on his hip as he stood up to his full height. His erratic heart was starting to calm down now he knew he wouldn't have to call 911 and say one of his kids was coughing up blood. The thought of Grace coughing up blood sent Eddie's mind reeling, he couldn't be dealing with that sort of panic because he knew the kind of illnesses and problems which would cause that in a toddler, and none of them were good.

Leaning over the bed, Eddie pressed his free hand to the back of (Y/n)'s head and kissed her temple, feeling her hands reaching out to hold his hips for a few seconds.

The sight of their daughter stood at the side of the bed drenched in blood had almost made (Y/n) faint. She couldn't help but scream when it looked like Grace had been attacked or was dying, asking for help in such a feeble, terrified voice like that. She wasn't going to get that image out of her head.

Grace tucked her face into Eddie's neck and coiled her arms around his neck as he headed out into the hall.

After a quick thought, Eddie nudged her bedroom door open and took a peek inside just to make sure the boys were alright. Both Nate and Joey were fast asleep in their beds and he rolled his eyes to see that Joey had clambered out at some point and now harboured more toys in his bed with him.

But it was the sight of Grace's bed that made Eddie take in a sharp breath and the four year old whimpered into his neck, afraid she was going to get told off for the mess.

The pale lilac covers Eddie had only just changed a few hours ago were now splattered with crimson and had a large patch of blood drying in the middle. Half of the pillow was soiled with blood that no doubt had seeped into the pillow itself and the bed sheet was dotted with smears of blood matching the little droplets on the carpet and the bedside table.

"Okay," Eddie rubbed his temple at the sight of all the mess from one little nosebleed. It was going to take a lot of cleaning. "You can sleep with me and mummy tonight and we'll sort this in the morning."

There was no way Eddie was cleaning this up now, not when Grace needed comfort and they all needed sleep, and he couldn't risk waking the boys. As much as Eddie knew leaving the blood was going to make it harder to clean the stain in the morning, he couldn't be bothered tonight.

It could wait until morning when Eddie would no doubt have to bin the pillow and most likely the sheets as well. He quietly pulled the bed sheet off and wrapped it around the duvet sheet so when the boys woke up in the morning, they wouldn't be frightened by the sight of bloodied sheets and their sister no where to be seen.

He then grabbed some fresh pyjamas from the drawer and quietly left the room. On his way to the bathroom, he peeked in Chris's room just to make sure the eldest was still asleep and hadn't woken up at any point from the charades tonight.

He flicked on the bathroom light before he gently sat Grace down on the side of the sink. "Let's clean you up baby."

Once the sink was filled with warm water, Eddie threw her bloodied pyjamas in a corner.

"Come here, look. I'm not washing your hair tonight, we can wash it tomorrow." Eddie carefully gathered Grace's hair in his hands and found a bobble to tie it up at the back of her head. There was no way he was giving her another bath, not after she had had two tonight from being sick. It was too late and they were both too tired for that.

He could see a few strands clumped together with sticky blood, but her hair wasn't matted and he would wash it as soon as they got up in the morning. right now, he just needed to get them both cleaned up and back to bed to see if they could get a few hours of sleep.

He was glad he wasn't back at work in the morning.

He began to hum softly as he grabbed a sponge and started to clean the blood that was caked onto her skin like drying cement. He took his time getting the blood from beneath her short fingernails and scrubbed her hands, arms, shoulders and around her neck before he dared move towards her face.

She had smeared the blood everywhere in her panic. Her lips, down her chin, across her cheeks and even beneath her eyes, and it was all dried around her nose too.

Her eyes closed and she scrunched up her nose and lips as Eddie carefully held her chin in his left hand and switched the sponge for a flannel that would be easier and better on her skin. His tongue poked between his teeth and he bent down to be level with her so he could make sure he got it all off.

He then cleaned the little specks of blood from his neck and hands that she had inadvertently transferred onto him by mistake.

"That's better, babygirl."

The sink looked like a crime scene when Eddie was finally finished cleaning the blood off them both. And when he looked at his little girl sitting on the side of the sink, his heart swelled and cracked at the same time. She was rubbing her eyes, trying her best to stay awake but she was wobbling and flagging, in desperate need of sleep.

He set her down to her feet and helped her into a clean set of pyjamas, and once Grace held her arms back out towards him, Eddie could do nothing but oblige. He lifted her up to settle back against his chest and he slowly made his way out the bathroom and back to his bedroom.

He took a moment to look at (Y/n) once he was back in their room. She was laid down again, but her eyes were open and she looked wide awake. Grace had given her a fright and a boat load of adrenaline that was taking a while to wear off.

Eddie ventured closer to the bed but he stopped when Grace quietly whimpered into his neck.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I feel sick."

Eddie reasoned with himself that he wasn't tired anymore. Grace had given him such a fright that he was now wide awake with the image of her covered in blood engraved onto his mind. So he turned off the bedside lamp so the room was back to a hazy dark blue colour with only a few glimpses of light peeking through.

He shuffled Grace down in his arms until she was curled up on his bare chest and stomach, her legs coiled up to her stomach and her head on his collarbone so his chin could perch on top of her head.

He walked towards the window and began to pace up and down the carpet. His feet were slowly shuffling along the carpet and he rocked his arms up and down so Grace was swaying up and down on his chest just like he used to do when she was little.

It was something he had done with all the kids. He struggled to get a connection with Chris when he came back from the army, but he found that when Chris couldn't sleep, rocking him against his chest and pacing the room like this settled him to sleep.

It worked wonders with Nate too. The triplets had been kept in hospital for quite a few weeks after they were born and the boys were released before Grace. Nate had colic and was always unsettled so Eddie took to pacing the bedroom and rocking his boy up and down to help his tummy and get him to fall asleep. And it worked for all the triplets when they weren't feeling well or something was wrong and they were unsettled like this. It was a habit none of them had grown out of yet.

(Y/n) turned over in bed to face the window and a tender look fluttered across her face. She watched Eddie pad barefoot across the carpet in small lines in front of the window and it was almost as if (Y/n) had been transported back four years to see Eddie calming one of their newborns.

He had Grace in his arms who was finally fast asleep, curled up into his chest like she was a little baby curling back into the fetal position. Clearly Eddie wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet, he was too content humming to his daughter and holding her while she slept to think about going back to bed.

***

Opening her eyes, (Y/n) adjusted to the brightness seeping into the room and glanced around before a soft smile formed on her lips. She was laid on her side, facing Eddie.

He was sprawled out on his back, one leg hanging off the edge of the bed and his hair was stuck up in all directions. Grace was laid out on his chest, her head buried in the crook of his neck and his arm was looped safely around her back. Even in his sleep, he was holding her secure against him, trying to keep her safe and sound in his arms.

Rocking her to sleep had done the trick for the rest of the night and Grace clearly hadn't been sick again or had another tremendous nosebleed, which was a great relief.

But what made (Y/n)'s grin broaden was the fact that when she looked down, she realised they weren't the only ones in bed. Both Nate and Joey had somehow found their way into the bed at some point in the early morning. They were both curled up in the middle of the bed, Joey tucking himself into (Y/n)'s chest while Nate was as close to Eddie as he could get without also laying on his dad and crushing him in his sleep.

Shuffling closer, (Y/n) kept her left arm tucked beneath Joey and reached her right arm across to rest on Eddie's abdomen.

A hum passed through Eddie's lips and his hand moved to squeeze (Y/n)'s arm before he rubbed at his eyes to wake himself up. He was tired, he was beyond tired but he didn't want to sleep anymore. His chest was aching from having Grace sprawled out on top of him like this, it made it a lot harder to breathe deeply when she was pushing down on him but it didn't really matter. His little girl was comfy and finally asleep, Eddie would stay crushed and out of breath forever if it gave Grace some comfort.

When he opened his eyes, Eddie tried to look around without disturbing Grace who nuzzled her face closer into his neck and tickled his skin with each soft breath she took.

A smile sprawled across his face when he realised the boys had wormed their way into bed with them too. They must have woken up and realised Grace wasn't in their room anymore and quietly slithered out to find her.

He started to run his hand up and down Grace's back while he wormed his right hand around to reach for the boys, and then for (Y/n). It felt like his wife was laid an ocean's distance away from him rather than just a few feet with the boys laid between them.

He brushed the back of his hand against (Y/n)'s cheek and stretched out as much as he could with Grace wriggling around on his chest. And he could feel his smile growing wider when he heard Chris's bedroom door slam shut and his plodding footsteps growing closer and closer in the hall. He was coming to find them and see if they were all awake yet.

"Mornin' troop."

[ultrone]

jackieshauna take skater!gf shopping 4 a new skate ﹙2.6k wc﹚ ✫ previously…

🛹 ⏆   : 🛒 ﹢

two weeks have elapsed since your skating accident. the initial days of your recovery were challenging, with open scratches and frequent headaches. however, your girlfriends wouldn't leave your side for a second, tending to your wounds and giving you as many cuddles and kisses as you requested.

you took a week off school after the doctor diagnosed you with a concussion and advised a 1 to 2-week break. despite jackie and shauna urging you to take the full two weeks, you returned during the second week, feeling well enough and not wanting to fall too far behind in your classes. throughout the first week, your girlfriends visited you before school started and after soccer practice, bringing either a milkshake as compensation for the spilled one or take-out food for movie afternoons, considering your restricted physical activity. and of course, jackie kept you well-informed on all the latest gossip circulating around school during your break.

now, nearing a full recovery, a recent check-up with your doctor confirmed the concussion is gone. the only remnants of the accident are a few scratches on your body and a healing but somewhat badass-looking scratch across one side of your face.

despite all that, your girlfriends continue to worry and insist on you taking it easy, maintaining frequent check-ups, a steady supply of take-out food, and lining up more movies to watch. shauna, being the most careful, avoids accidentally scratching the wound when she's around you. sometimes she even refrains from showing affection at all unless you request it, afraid of hurting you in any way. on the other hand, jackie, as playful and touchy as ever, occasionally bumps into the scars while expressing affection, showering you with apologetic kisses after you flinch in pain.

obviously, ever since the accident, you've refrained from mentioning anything related to skateboarding, fearing your girlfriends' potential scolding—especially shauna’s. despite this, you couldn't escape the lingering disappointment about your broken skateboard. you even convinced them to retrieve the pieces from the accident spot, hanging them on your wall as a memento of the third love of your life, which will be dearly missed.

however, your girlfriends didn't need words to understand your feelings; your frown and lingering glances at the broken skateboard spoke volumes. they could tell how much you missed skating, especially as you had to walk home from school every day now, a routine you didn't mind but would rather replace with skating if given the choice.

it was a thursday evening, and the three of you were in your bedroom, just chilling and listening to music. jackie lay on your bed, one hand flipping through a magazine while the other gently scratched your scalp. you were lying on her stomach, soaking in the background music. meanwhile, shauna lay on her stomach on the floor, engrossed in a book and highlighting passages.

“hey,” jackie said, moving the magazine out of her face. “are you two in the mood to go out? i wanted to swing by sephora to grab some mascara; i just ran out,” she explained, glancing over at you and shauna.

shauna looked up from her book. "sure," she glanced over at you. "are you up for it?"

"are you kidding?" you responded incredulously, a grin spreading across your face. "of course i'd love to go out to the mall after being confined to these four walls for almost two weeks," you declared, rising to your feet. "and school, but that doesn't count because it's practically prison with no bars," you added.

jackie chuckled at the comment. "good, because you need some fresh air," she remarked with a smile as she stood up as well. "besides, you look super sexy with that little battle scar." leaning in, she planted a gentle kiss on your scarred cheek, causing you to blush.

shauna giggled and turned to you. "i agree, you look pretty badass with the scratch," she chimed in. "but i don't know, babe..." she started, "sometimes i enjoy having you locked up in the same bedroom as us," she teased.

“oh, shut up,” you said, a smile growing on your lips as you lightly pushed shauna's shoulder. she responded by kissing your scarred cheek as well, enjoying the prominent blush that spread across your face.

jackie smirked at shauna's teasing comment. "you're so selfish," she chimed in, giving a playful look to shauna before turning back to you. "but i don't disagree either," she said, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"you're both selfish," you mumbled, leaning into jackie's embrace. "now, let's head out. i can't wait to get out of here," you said, eager to break free from the confines of the room.

as you prepared to leave, jackie shook her head with a smile. "fine," she relented, releasing you. "we won't keep you cooped up anymore." shauna opened the door, gesturing for you to lead the way out of the room.

as the three of you left the house, jackie ensured you wore a jacket, despite the warm weather. "don't want you catching a cold now," she insisted, adjusting the collar of your coat.

walking to the car, you and jackie got into the passenger seats while shauna took the driver's seat. once everyone was buckled up, she started the engine and drove away from the curb.

the mall was crowded with people, the usual busy scene of shoppers looking around, buying things, and chatting. you headed to sephora first, where jackie found the mascara she wanted. since shauna and you didn't usually wear much makeup, except for when jackie experimented with doing your makeup for fun, you both just roamed around the store, sometimes trying on lipstick or looking at beauty products.

the next stop was the food court. you hadn’t eaten since lunch at school, so you were very hungry. shauna and you decided on burgers and fries, whereas jackie opted for a salad. finding a table in the busy food court, you all settled down to enjoy your meals and chat.

jackie, being jackie, started eating all of yours and shauna’s fries instead of getting her own, as usual.

“take one more fry and you’ll regret it,” shauna threatened jackie, clearly annoyed since this happened every time.

jackie grinned mischievously at shauna, her eyes sparkling. "just one more," she pleaded, reaching for another fry.

shauna huffed and shook her head, unable to hide her irritation. "fine, take them," she conceded begrudgingly.

you rolled your eyes, shaking your head at the familiar but petty argument between your girlfriends. "here," you offered, pushing your fries toward jackie, signaling for her to have yours while you took another bite of your burger. "you two are ridiculous," you commented, smiling at their playful banter. "can't believe we've been together for a year already."

jackie smiled, taking the fries with graciousness. "jeez," she concurred, shoving a handful of fries into her mouth. she chewed her food for a few moments before swallowing, letting out a satisfied sigh. "i can't believe how fast time has flown by," she remarked in disbelief.

shauna giggled and raised an eyebrow. "yeah, it feels like just yesterday we started dating," she echoed in agreement, swallowing the last of her burger and sipping on her soda.

as the three of you finished your meals, you stood up, stretching your body. "what's next?” you asked, breaking the silence. “are we heading home already?”

“nope,” jackie said, wrapping her arm around yours, a sheepish smile on her lips as she glanced at shauna. not suspicious at all.

you raised an eyebrow, but jackie turned away, clearly trying to dodge your impending question.

"so, where are we going?" you asked shauna, your mind swirling with possible answers.

"surprise," jackie said before shauna could answer, her grip on your arm growing tighter, causing you to stumble forward a step or two. she giggled, grinning at you, unable to contain her amusement.

"you wanna give me a hint?" you asked, smiling back at them.

"maybe. or maybe not." she giggled again, leading you in a direction you couldn't yet identify, with shauna trailing close behind.

the three of you walked briskly, their excitement palpable.

"do you mind giving me a hint?" you whispered to shauna, ensuring jackie couldn’t overhear, but she remained stubbornly quiet, refusing to reveal any information.

"how about a small hint? just a smidgen?" you pressed, attempting to elicit any clue.

she remained silent, continuing to walk with a mischievous grin. instead, she took your free hand and intertwined your fingers together.

after walking for a couple of minutes, jackie leads you to a familiar skate shop. immediately, your eyes light up, your heart beating faster with excitement. you can't believe this is really happening; it feels like a dream.

shauna follows right beside you, smiling at the sight of your excitement as jackie looks on with an amused grin. as you approach the store, you see a wide variety of skateboards, wheels, and accessories on display inside. 

jackie smiles and gestures towards the door. "in we go," she says, her voice bubbling with playful energy.

"go on," shauna urges, nudging you gently, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "see what catches your eye," she says, giving you a cute peck on the temple before letting go of your hand.

you strolled through the store, feeling as light as air. boards of every size, shape, and design captured your attention. running your fingers along the smooth surfaces, you envisioned effortlessly gliding on each one. before long, you found yourself in front of a particular board that drew you in. it was a sleek, fuchsia deck with silver accents—a color combination that appealed to you.

glancing at shauna and jackie, you sought their opinion. they exchanged knowing glances, nodding in approval. "that one's pretty cool," shauna said, her voice brimming with encouragement. jackie nodded, a lively sparkle in her eye. "it definitely suits you."

with a smile, you approached an employee with your deck in hand, asking for help assembling it with your preferred setup. while you did this, jackie and shauna lingered around the store, waiting for it to be finished.

as the employee adjusted your wheels, you noticed a sign on the counter indicating they were printing personalized images that you could stick to your skateboard. an idea sparked in your mind. quickly, you edited a collage on your phone and sent it to the employee, asking him to place it onto the back of your skate atop of the original design but leaving the text at the bottom. you constantly glanced around, making sure your girlfriends weren’t nearby.

after finishing, you thanked the employee and carried your newly assembled board towards shauna and jackie, grinning from ear to ear. you subtly held your skateboard close to you, hiding the custom design from them as you hugged it.

shauna narrowed her eyes at you, recognizing that mischievous look on your face. "what is it?" she asked.

jackie squinted at the board, noting the slight discrepancy. "you got a fancy design printed on it, huh?" she guessed.

"mhm," you said with an innocent smile, "i thought it’d be cool to add a personal touch to it," you chuckled, deciding it was time to reveal your surprise. with precision, you swiftly spun the board around, revealing the montage of awkward photos of them.

shauna and jackie both gasped in surprise, their eyes widening at the sight of the montage. they looked at each other, then back at the board, their faces turning a shade of red as they recognized the photos of themselves, their laughter mixing with mortification. photographs they wished stayed hidden were now immortalized on your skateboard.

"you little—" jackie started, stuttering as she struggled to come up with an insult.

shauna chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. "you’re an idiot," she said, her cheeks still flushed, but her eyes crinkling with amusement. "but it does look cool," she admitted, reluctantly admiring the design despite herself. jackie nodded in agreement, acknowledging the creativity.

with that, the three of you headed to check out to pay for it. as you put your hand in your back pocket to retrieve your wallet, jackie stopped you mid-reach.

"don't worry about it, baby," she said. "we got it," she added as shauna pulled out her card and proceeded to pay for the board.

"really?" you asked, disbelief evident in your tone, a smile growing on your face.

“really,” jackie confirmed, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she rubbed your back.

shauna nodded in agreement, handing over her card to the cashier. “besides,” she said, turning to look at you with a soft smile, “it’s not every day we get to see you this excited. it’s worth it.”

you felt a warm feeling spread through you at their words. you couldn’t help but grin, feeling incredibly lucky to have them in your life. “thank you so much,” you said sincerely. unable to contain your appreciation, you hugged them tight, and they giggled in response.

"of course, sweetie," shauna replied, putting her arm around your waist as you hugged her, slipping the receipt into her back pocket. "we wanted to do something special for you today," she said.

your cheeks warmed at her words. “i love you,” you said, giving them both a kiss on the lips.

your girlfriends returned the gesture, their hearts melting at your words. although they knew they were loved, hearing it directly from you brought a sense of comfort and joy.

"we love you too," shauna murmured, her voice filled with warmth. jackie echoed her sentiment, her expression mirroring the same love and adoration.

you grabbed your skateboard, and the three of you started making your way toward the parking lot, eager to head home.

excited about your new board, the first thing you did the moment you stepped out of the mall’s entrance and onto the concrete was drop your board and jump on it. however, a strong grip on your arm stopped you, almost causing you to fall.

"hey!" you yelped, stepping off and turning around to see shauna, who had halted you in your tracks.

you sighed, pressing on the tail of your skate with your foot, causing it to pop right up into your hand. then, you glanced toward your girlfriends.

"i knew there was gonna be a catch," you complained, a pout forming on your face as you slouched your shoulders.

shauna rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a soft smile at your adorable expression. "i know you're excited, and i know you're tired of us giving you the same pep talk over and over again, but we really need you to be careful," she said, her voice filled with concern. she didn't want you to get hurt, after all.

jackie chimed in, "we know you don’t want to wear a helmet, so can you at least try wearing knee and elbow pads?" she asked. "you can wear them under your clothes if you're embarrassed," she suggested pragmatically.

you contemplated her suggestion for a moment before nodding. "fiiine," you whined, reluctantly agreeing but willing to compromise.

shauna released the breath she'd been holding, her gaze shifting between you and jackie. “also, we don’t want you skating for two more weeks until we’re sure you’re completely okay from your accident.”

“what?” you asked incredulously. “but the doctor said–"

“yes, yes, we heard the doctor, but we don’t want to take any chances,” shauna interrupted, cutting you off. “two more weeks. that's our final call,” she insisted.

jackie wrapped an arm around your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeeze. "please? we just want to make sure you're fully healed," she added, her voice filled with genuine concern.

realizing arguing wouldn’t change their minds, you relented with a sigh. "okay, fine," you conceded, rolling your eyes playfully. "two more weeks."

they both smiled, satisfaction mixed with relief evident on their faces. "thank you," they chorused, their initial concern melting away slightly. shauna caressed the back of your hair as each of them gave you a sweet kiss.

the three of you walked towards the car, your brand-new skateboard safely tucked under your arm.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

when the world becomes small

shauna sadecki x reader, word count 2k

amid the chaos of moving into your new house, you start to develop a relationship with one of your new neighbors. AU where shauna and jeff are divorced. (sfw) im in a writing slump help

You’re shocked that the entire world hasn’t drowned by the time the rain stops. It’s been storming for days, and any relief from it you’ve received has been too brief to call a break. Moving in has been hell without any help – your memories of dragging new furniture into the house through the rain and praying nothing would ruin are less than fond. You have already discovered a leak in the basement, too, where no number of towels or buckets can save you from the annoyance of mild flooding. 

It’s the first day the sun’s come out that you truly feel welcome in your new home. Halls once gloomy and dark in the stormy shadows now glow in golden afternoon sunlight, and as you put on your boots and step into the garden, you begin to understand again why you’d chosen to buy this house to begin with. The peace here is incredible. 

You’re in need of a fresh start – moving to New Jersey seemed once to be the answer. You’ve gotten a new job with colleagues you don’t loathe, and you feel finally free from the setbacks of your old life. 

The neighborhood you moved into proves to be just as keen on keeping their privacy as you are. Hardly anyone has introduced themselves in the week you have lived in your new house so far, hospitality far from free-flowing in comparison to that of the small town you grew up in. There was one girl who introduced herself, a teenager you know had been ordered by her mother to welcome you on behalf of the family, but she was more interested in leaving than she had been to welcome you to the neighborhood. Her welcome didn’t count. 

You are content with the solitude, anyway. The sun is out, and you are in the yard planning space for your garden. Your new place has room enough for one as big as you’d like. You make a mental note of everything you want to plant. 

From the corner of your eye you spot movement in the shrubs along the split-rail garden fence. Overgrown plants from the last owners of the house decorate the backyard and make it a prime habitat for rabbits this time of year. Though you will have to cut some of it down later to fix your yard out of becoming a jungle, it brings you joy to watch rabbits scurry under your fence to come get food or take it home. 

You sit down on the steps of the back porch. You watch as they run and jump and hide, letting the sun soak into you as you watch the rabbits as entertainment. Planning the garden could wait. 

“It's the worst this time of year,” someone says from nearby, and you almost jump out of your skin. You look over the garden fence — it only reaches your hips in height — to see a woman standing at the edge of it near an already-planted garden of her own. “The rabbits,” the woman clarifies, noticing your confusion and the scattering of your thoughts in her sudden presence. “As soon as the snow melts, an army of them comes in. They’re hell for my tomatoes.” 

You gather your wits, standing from the porch and making your way to the edge of the fence to meet her. The woman watches you carefully, analyzing you in a way that makes you wonder how much she can tell of you from first impressions. Her dark eyes are scrutinizing. 

“Shauna,” she introduces herself, and extends her hand over the garden fence for you to shake. You introduce yourself as well, and she nods with a knowing expression. 

“Callie,” you say, “she’s your daughter, isn’t she? She came over the other day to welcome me to the neighborhood.”

Shauna sighs, and you can tell she’s resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “I should have done it myself. I made her do it. I doubt she was pleasant company.” 

“No, I loved having her over,” you lie. The girl had been rude to you, exceedingly, but you can’t find it in you to insult the woman before you through insulting her daughter. Even so, Shauna seems slightly surprised by your lie that Callie was good company. 

Shauna’s head turns at the rustling of shrubbery at the far edge of the fence — a rabbit emerges, and settles in the middle of your yard. Something you’re unable to place crosses into her expression, something dark that disappears in the afternoon sun just as soon as you’ve noticed it. Shauna turns her attention back to you. 

“I can take care of the rabbit problem for you.” 

You shake your head. You wonder why she’s so invested in the rabbits, but you don’t want to ask. “I don’t mind them. They bring life to the place.” 

“So do you,” Shauna says. “No one’s lived here for years. To have someone like you move in… it’s in good hands.” 

You aren’t sure what to respond. You weren’t expecting any compliments from her, and to receive them makes you nervous. She’s beautiful, and already you feel the depth of her intelligence, her intuition. There’s power in her gaze as it rests upon you. 

“You should come over for dinner some night,” she says suddenly. She looks kind again, amicable. “Callie usually goes to her dad’s on the weekends. Do you have any plans on Sunday?” 

You don’t, and you tell her so — her relief is obvious, and quickly the two of you make plans to meet Sunday night. When you head back into your house, your interaction with her plays back in your mind on repeat. You’re a bit in shock of it, how quickly you’ve just made plans with the woman who lives next door. You try to imagine it all playing out on Sunday – you try to imagine other compliments she could give you and how it would feel when she gave them. You picture the delight in her eyes at seeing you when you arrive.  

Sunday goes better than you ever could have planned – the two of you talk for hours, sharing a bottle of wine between you and having dinner. You relish in Shauna’s presence, and find comfort in her words and in every bit of attention she spares you. She knows more about you than most at the end of the night, and you know next to nothing about her. You can see the care with which she selects what to reveal to you about her life, and don’t pry for more than she’s willing to give. 

It becomes a regular occasion. Every Sunday you go next door to Shauna’s house in the afternoon and the two of you sit on her patio and talk – words flow like rivers between you, endless and sustaining you. You do most of the talking, and you can tell she prefers to keep it that way, but every once in a while you get stories out of her about raising Callie or how much of a waste of time her ex-husband was or her daydreams of the places she wishes she could go and the things she wishes she could have time to do. Sometimes she comes over during weekdays, just for a moment to drop off plants she’s bought for your garden that you’ve talked about getting or to find an escape from the tribulations of her own home. 

Spring morphs into summer within a few weeks. Your gardens are flourishing, you help each other with work in them. You abide by every suggestion of Shauna’s of what you should and shouldn’t plant, and how to sustain them as she sustains you. You’ve become enchanted by her, living through each week through the promise of Sundays when you’re guaranteed her time. Your thoughts are of her during every moment you’re without her. 

The heat of summer is interrupted when the rain comes back, and this time it’s welcomed. You’re confined to her sunroom instead of the outside bliss of the porch. Shauna’s in the kitchen, pouring the two of you drinks while you watch the rain fall. You feel suspended in time – everything stops in the rain, the world shrinks to the two of you as the horizon becomes a blur and you’re the only ones left in focus. 

Shauna comes back with drinks. Whiskey this time, not wine. ‘It goes better with the rain,’ she tells you, and you take the glass she offers. The taste of it is expensive, burns on your tongue pleasantly. 

Shauna doesn’t sit down by you in the sunroom, but goes to examine some of the plants she has shelved on wooden stands. There’s an abundance of them, you’re a bit jealous of her collection. 

“Callie’s going off to college in a few weeks,” Shauna says suddenly. You look over to her but her eyes are fixed out the window. She’s enchanted by the intimacy of the rain just as you are. “You could come over more often. Any time you want, really, once she’s gone. I don’t know if you’d like that.” 

She glances at you for a moment before turning her eyes back to the rain – checking to see if you would oblige her desire, or if it offended you, as if you would suddenly change your mind on the entire idea of her and run out screaming and throwing things like a psychopath. 

“I would like that,” you agree, suppressing a smile when relief visibly floods over her. It prompts you to add to her request, devise your own way of inviting her into your company more. “I saw an advertisement the other day for a farmer’s market being hosted by this wellness center about an hour away. It’s a bit of a drive, but apparently it’s a really big deal, it’s hosted every summer. I was thinking we could go together this Friday.” 

Shauna nods. You recognize the contentment that comes over her. “You have to drive,” she commands. A way of adding order to the suspected chaos of joy, to stand in front of it and guard it with her words. 

You nod, silent agreement to her terms. The two of you are immersed in peaceful silence for a few minutes – it’s not uncommon between you, just to sit in one another’s company, intimacy in the known safety of being taken into your own thoughts. 

“I hate the rain,” Shauna admits quietly. She takes a sip of her drink. “It makes the world feel small.” 

You stand, coming to her side to look out the window with her. You hear thunder in the distance amid the gentle pattering of rain. 

“That’s what I love about it,” you tell her. Confusion spreads over her features that prompts you to explain. “When the world becomes small, it becomes ours.” 

You know how horribly sappy it sounds, how trivial and cliche, but you can’t stop yourself from admitting to it. Shauna’s expression lightens, and as her gaze rests upon you once more you see that your words have provided her with comfort. 

You reach for her hands, she lets you take them in your own. Yet one of her hands parts from yours, comes up to rest at your jaw, then the back of your neck, and you close the distance between you as she pulls you toward her, your lips finding hers. The kiss is soft, leaves you feeling drunk afterwards on much more than the few sips of whiskey you’ve had. The love that permeates her touch, the sweetness of the longing that fills her kiss as she pulls you in again has your head spinning. You’ve wanted this since you met her, have imagined it a thousand different times in a thousand different ways, but the reality is better than anything you could have dreamed up on your own. 

Shauna steps forward, turns to push you gently against the wall. The world becomes smaller – it doesn’t exist outside of her touch. For as long as it can last your reality is composed only of the love in her eyes, and the desire in her kiss, and the willingness with which she gives it all to you. You realize it is not the rain that makes the world feel small, it is her – that in every moment the great expanse of the horizon fades closer to nothingness, and the view you have of the woman before you is all you need as the promise of fortune. 

[tabithatwo]

hi hello thinking about how neither lottie or taissa is advocating for their sight or championing themselves.

lottie quietly doing the best she can to lean into what she hopes is real to give the others protection and faith, yes! but it isn’t I CAN LEAD YOU (especially this season) it’s I can quietly do the things that can’t hurt, in case they help. it can’t hurt to prick my finger and they’ve come back safe so far and I’m aware of my mental health I’m OH so aware and I know the dangers of delusions being proven correct by happenstance by setting up an infallible cause and effect by building my own reality BUT but. it’s just a prick and it’s just a sip and if I don’t do it now and they don’t come back safe then I AM the reason. it can’t hurt IT CAN’T HURT.

but see, now she’s stuck. she’s wedged into this place of having followers and she can’t tell them how she feels, partly because she isn’t even sure how she feels to begin with because nothing is real and everything is far too real!! (because BECAUSE lottielee jackieshauna parallels and so much post laura lee was not in our view, we didn’t fall as deep deep deep into the rabbit hole with lottie as we did with shauna, but this season has confirmed it for us. lottie and shauna both lost reality when they lost Them and they were both already girls with a loose grip of reality to begin with) so it’s That, but it’s also because she isn’t Lottie The Girl From New Jersey Who Shoplifts, she’s not herself, she’s what they make of her. she’s Lottie The Reason We Will Survive This.

she was on the other side of this dynamic, she felt that anger at jackie, she felt that sense of betrayal, she felt that letdown, that rebellion in her heart. because jackie wasn’t serving them the way they wanted needed craved being served. jackie couldn’t be that person. jackie who had been divisive in her leadership before they even crashed, because what is leadership if not a spotlight that people can adjust to make you glow like something ethereal or to point out all your flaws with great illumination? jackie had larger than life expectations put on her (and they were warm and sunny and positive some of the time yes, but that all curdles when it’s left in the spotlight too long.)

so suddenly lottie is divisive. there are teams around her and against her and myth built up, but the myth isn’t that she’s the bratty unhelping girl who gets whatever she wants like it became for jackie, the myth is she is our only hope. she is our savior and salvation and seer. and she doesn’t need to even say anything to make that so. jackie didn’t need to say anything to make them color her selfish (other, but bad). lottie doesn’t need to say anything to make them color her anointed (other, but good). she is girl vessel, girl hopes, girl dreams, a witch hunt where she Better Be A Witch.

doomcoming lottie snapped. she was On drugs and she was Off drugs and she was tired and she gave them something to cling to that they could shape into more with the seeds of the past (bear and blood and you get the picture) that they’d already been trying to plant in her image. (jackie did the same that night. she snapped, she yelled, she gave them something to cling to that they could shape into more with the seeds of the past that they’d already been trying to plant in her image, do you SEE??)

and of COURSE natalie understands both lottie and jackie. of course she knows what it’s like to be doing nothing but your best, to not want the responsibility, to be seen more as liability than asset, even though the only reason you can fail so hard is because you provide so much. before the crash and after, because girl carrying the weight of family secrets and girl who bears their insecurities and girl who SEES that they are insecure so she cannot even bring herself to be ANGRY with them and girl who hunts. girl who hunts and feeds, but now who hikes and disappoints, because there is no game to bring home, but that can only be Her Failure because it is Her Contribution, do you hear me are you with me??

so natalie walks for miles and she eulogizes jackie and she steps out of her reward her one small comfort and she makes sure that lottie sinks into the hot water and she apologizes, she apologizes, she apologizes. because maybe she’s mad, maybe she says it isn’t fair in the heat of the moment, but at the end of the day she knows who she is and what she is and all that they’ve made her and she carries that responsibility. (like jackie the girl she wasn’t home to save and lottie the girl she doesn’t know how to reach. it’s too late for them, there are no words to undo it. jackie was sealed when she made captain and natalie was sealed when she pulled the trigger and lottie was sealed when she warned van.)

and taissa finally TAISSA. she has hidden her secret. little girl looking in the mirror and seeing something that shouldn’t be there and older girl who is hearing things that she shouldn’t hear and leading people places she shouldn’t be able to lead them to. she doesn’t want it and she’s made it the Most Known of them all. don’t tell lottie, don’t tell the others, don’t bring it up. and van who champions her so naturally, so routinely, so lovingly for all the normal things. van who believes in the supernatural. van who has simply refused to die. van can’t hold it in anymore, because taissa’s sight Brought Back Javi. but tai doesn’t want her to mention it to the others. tai is perceptive and tai understands power struggles and she’s tired and hates this part of herself and she’s scared and she’s logical and she doesn’t want to Be Lottie (not lottie the girl from New Jersey who shoplifts, but lottie who better be a witch).

so maybe I’m seeing things myself, maybe I’m reading too deep, but here’s what I saw in old wounds.

lottie, who sits quietly while the others discuss her prophecy. lottie, who seems to have developed an openness to a different view of jackie in her death, because she was girl there and now she’s girl gone and she served them again in death and maybe lottie didn’t quite have the right idea of her and maybe lottie is in her seat now, in a way. lottie, who wanders into the snow without ever really agreeing because it was never really a choice, and cuts her hand because it can’t hurt IT CANT HURT.

natalie, who signed up to hunt when it was spring and warm and possible, who knows that it will be hers always and forever now. natalie, who will always be the reason they are starving, more than the reason they are fed. natalie, who is jealous of the girl who is bone, because she was allowed death. natalie, who has sympathy for all of them and knows that lottie has been made her rival through the mechanisms of group projection than her own volition. so she bathes her and tends to her and apologizes to her.

taissa, who has always been a leader and always been under scrutiny but did so in a way She Could Control. taissa, whose deepest secrets are being unfolded before her eyes because she can’t stop herself from divulging them when she is unconscious. taissa, who might start to think that maybe lottie didn’t ask for this.

so jackie is bone, and natalie is hunter, and lottie is seer, and taissa might be even more so. natalie alone in the realm of the mundane (for this), but aware of them all, so I’ll set her aside for a moment.

jackie accidentally opened the door to this spiritualism. she was the seance and doomcoming (and the first communion), but she didn’t mean for it to be that. she meant to cheer them up.

lottie thought that jackie had it wrong, thought that she didn’t use her position to protect the girls, because she refused to work with the woods and lottie tries to save them and protect them and negotiate with the wilderness for them.

taissa thinks that lottie has it wrong, because she feeds into their delusions and her power is a runaway train in this setting and taissa wants to keep them alive in the best way. the practical way. except that logical leadership never led to anything out here and her other self, her spiritual self, found javi after months.

pedestals and wrecking balls and clearer views once you’re hoisted up with the girls on them. girls who are not Them but who are What Others Say. shauna dictating jackie and mari dictating lottie and van dictating taissa and everyone dictating natalie. everyone meaning the best and riding the high of delivering it, until it’s cut out from beneath them. you don’t go from great to fine. the mighty don’t fall to land on a straw bed with the rest of them, thanks for trying and welcome back. they are Icarus and their love for the others is flight and their belief that They Can Do It Better is the sun and the sun burns. in death or in life or in dreams.

and maybe in old wounds lottie understood jackie a little more and taissa understood lottie a little more and nat, who has always been able to understand them all, can watch and wait and hope that it changes things. but it won’t. because they aren’t driving their own stories anymore.

so they’ll hunt and they’ll bleed and they’ll walk in their sleep and, no matter what they say or don’t say, the others will fill in the gaps.

[empressmcblondie]

As you know I'm already down this Shauna and Jackie rabbit hole (this pun is absolutely intended), and so, I wanted to touch upon something else I've noticed. During 1x01, we see Shauna's rabbit collection, and obviously, in 1x06 Shauna receives a little ceramic rabbit from Mrs. Taylor under the impression that "Jackie just adored rabbits." Now... Shauna's facial expression in reaction to this statement is very telling. She plays along with whatever this is. Yes, Jackie adored rabbits, sure thing... And because of that, I adore rabbits now because I've become a Jackie substitute in the eyes of her bereaved parents. Initially I scratched this off as a mother who didn't actually know her teenage daughter well enough, which is pretty on brand. The Taylors give me perfect-on-paper-but-dysfunctional-in-reality energy with a lot of the tension coming from Jackie's relationship with her mother. Jackie herself denounces this connection to rabbits quite explicitly in the immediate scene that follows when she and Shauna go checking the traps, referring to the animal as a "squirrel with floppy ears and a pompom on its ass." Clearly, Jackie did not care for rabbits whatsoever. But... Where did Mrs. Taylor even get the idea that Jackie likes rabbits in the first place? It has to have come from somewhere, no? It did.

It most likely came from Shauna.

Shauna's room in 1x01.

You can see the small ceramic rabbit, strategically placed beneath the light in Shauna's room, linking her to the animal explicitly. It's not that Shauna took it upon herself to love rabbits because of Jackie's parents. It's that Shauna projected her own love for rabbits (to whatever length that went) onto Jackie. Just like with the journal in my previous post... Shauna is rewriting Jackie not just by taking on Jackie characteristics as her own, but by inserting her own characteristics into Jackie posthumously.

Shauna's confession of "I don't even know where you end and I begin" (also a Radiohead song) takes on a whole new layer of meaning. It's not just that Shauna doesn't know anymore... But we, the audience, don't either. It's becoming increasingly difficult to understand who Jackie is. What elements of Jackie's life are actually Jackie's doing and what are props, planted by Shauna... Small edits she makes to match the story that she tells herself in her own head. Anyways, as always, this show is a gift that keeps on giving.

[braidlottie]

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU, BABY.

pairing: lottie matthews x gn!reader

summary: lottie comforts you after a nightmare.

wc: baby fic 723 :(

tags: h/c (hurt/comfort), you live with lottie at sunshine honey, mommy!lottie sneak?!, lottie is super duper sweet to reader as always :3

title inspired by nothing’s gonna hurt you baby by cigarettes after sex

“somebody’s ready for bed, i see,” lottie smiled as you slipped into bed, wearing your new pajama set she bought for you. you rested your head against her shoulder, covering your mouth as you yawned. “such a sleepy little one. you had a big day, didn’t you?”

you and lottie and the rest of the adults went out for a nice friendly outing, staying out later than usual. going to ihop, and the fair, even driving out of your local area for a game of mini golf (that shauna suggested of course). you had so much fun, you wished you could redo the day all over again.

nodding, you snuggled into lottie’s pillow, feeling so warm and comfortable already under the white duvet. “aren’t you going to work in your office?”

“just for a bit. you think you’ll still be awake when i’m back?”

“nuh-uh.” you slurred. lottie just chuckled, grabbing her laptop, her glasses and patted your leg. she slipped on one of her kaftans that was hanging up in the closet. “that’s okay if you aren’t, sweetheart. i’ll be twenty minutes. tops.” she kissed you twice, once the nose and the lips before walking down the hall to her office.

the night got quieter and quieter at the compound, until nothing but the swaying of the trees from the wind was heard. you tried to wait up for lottie, so you put on a movie but unfortunately fell asleep within the first minutes.

***

“please, let her go, please! don’t-”

“shut. up.” you heard a man’s voice behind you. he walked over to lottie, pushing her down to the floor. she grunted and sighed, looking back at you with a bloody lip. “it’s gonna be okay-” she was cut off by the man kicking her in the face. you screamed, trying to get out of the ropes that restrained you down to a chair. “stop! stop hurting her, please!” the man pulled his pistol out from the back of his jeans, pointing it at lottie’s head and cocking it back-

“baby? baby, hey,” you were shaken away by lottie. when you were fully aware of where you were, you looked at her, she was completely unscathed, not even a single drop of blood from her lips. you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt lottie’s hand on your cheek, wiping your tears away.

“i heard you shouting from down the hall, sweetheart. did you have a nightmare?” you nodded at the question, letting out a sob when you remembered the awful scenario. you rubbed your teary eyes against the fuzzy blanket you were swaddled in. “oh, little one,” she held out her arms for you.

“c’mere.” she helped you sit up, her hands under your arms. she pulled you into her chest, feeling your tears already soaking into her robe. she wrapped you up in the blanket tighter, planting a sweet kiss on your temple. “do you mind telling me what happened in your nightmare, baby?”

“there was a man, ‘n he was hurting you but i couldn’t stop him, ‘nd- and he was gonna shoot you, but i couldn’t stop him because-” you sobbed and lottie’s heart broke, your words fast and jumbled, along with your hoarse voice.

“we’re safe, angel, okay? it must’ve felt real at the time, but it’s not. what’s real is just me and you right now. he’s not gonna get us, i promise. mommy’s here, baby.” lottie brushed your fresh set of tears away, your cries making an abrupt stop at what lottie called herself. “there you go. you’re okay, honey.”

you felt her pull away, but heard the bedside lamp click on soon after, lighting up the room. lottie knew you didn’t like the dark that much, she just didn’t want you to be more scared than you already were.

“i’m scared to go to sleep again.” you nuzzled closer to her, trying to fight the sleep you were scared to succumb to. “you don’t have to, sweetheart. you wanna walk down to the kitchen with me? mommy’ll make you some tea, cocoa. anything you want, my baby.”

“cocoa.” you whispered, wiping your nose on your sleeve. lottie smiled, picking an eyelash off by the corner of your eye. “yeah? there’s my little one. c’mon,” she grabbed your hand, helping you out of bed.

[leahsgf]

I will get on my hands and knees for van Palmer x reader introducing their gf to the team at like a party or something

they’re gonna love you.

pairings. pre crash! van palmer x reader

when i tell you i am obsessed with this idea! van is criminally underrated and deserves so many more fics and i loved doing this, thank you so much for the req, i hope it’s what you had in mind, i got a little carried away!

-

a wave of unease seared through you as you adjusted your skirt, time having stood still yet raced by at the same time as you remained planted in front of the mirror. a new flaw with your look was becoming visible to you every second, like some twisted version of whack a mole. you shook your head in an attempt to prevent the inevitable tears from spilling, and your anxiety wearing you down to dust.

you had been dating van for almost seven months when the long dreaded event happened. classes were officially over for the year, and the games were all wrapped up, so there were no more excuses for you to delay meeting the team, meaning that your attendance to the upcoming party was demanded by each of them.

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to meet your girlfriend’s best friends, the whole concept was just terrifying to you. these were some of the people that mean the most to van, who grew up with her, of course wanting nothing but happiness and the absolute best for her. whilst you knew that you and van were incredibly happy, that creeping voice in the back of your mind hadn’t let up and had been getting increasingly louder as the time neared - allowing your nerves to get the better of you.

“there you are! i missed you.” van’s voice snapped your whirlwind of a mind back into reality, as she enveloped you from behind, pulling you into her embrace.

“i’ve been gone for five minutes at absolute maximum” a giggle escaped your throat as she planted a trail of kisses from your shoulder to the flush of your cheek, the amount increasing as the sound of your laughter hit her ears.

she turned you around in her arms, whilst mumbling something along the lines of “five minutes too long”. her eyes visibly softened as she studied your expression, a wave of concern washing over them. she had always been able to read you like a book, regardless of the plastered on smile.

“hey. don’t do that to yourself, they’re going to love you. god, they already do judging by the amount they ask about you. you’re everything i could ever want, and i’m not going to leave your side tonight. the second you aren’t feeling it anymore, we’ll leave. i promise.” her fingers trail up and down your arms as you nod, and let yourself relax under her touch.

you pulled her hand to your lips, placing your lips there ever so gently as you breathed out an “okay” and let her guide you out of the bathroom.

“that’s my girl.”

-

the cold air nipped at your shoulders as you made your way up to lottie’s front door, letting van lead the way, her hand still clasped around your own. she paused to let your eyes meet, a last minute check in before entering the cloud of noise.

jackie, shauna, lottie and taissa were the only ones out of the team there so far, huddled around the drinks table and laughing together. having known all of their names and faces for months before now, through pictures and videos from games - being stood in front of them felt so oddly familiar yet completely unfamiliar at the same time.

“guys, meet my girlfrien-“ each of them smiled and swarmed you before van could even finish her sentence. jackie pulled you into a hug like she’s known you her entire life, lottie gasped and clapped her hands together as she marvelled about how long they’ve been wanting to meet you and how nice it was to finally do it, as shauna chuckled and mouthed her apologies in your direction and tai playfully teased van for the amount she was smiling and blushing.

“so this is the famous girlfriend we’ve all been dying to meet” nat arrived shortly after shauna had pried jackie away from you to let you and van have a moment to yourselves. she introduced herself to you and spoke to both of you about anything and everything, fighting back a grin as misty bounded over to you like an excited puppy, gushing over you and your relationship, how happy she is to meet you, and how she now has a new friend.

your previous nerves were almost entirely forgotten as you fell into the mix of the group easily, like you had always been there. they filled you in with all of their embarrassing stories about van and how much she talked about you, or about the time in practice where she was so busy daydreaming about you she took a ball to the face, and how they already loved you from that moment on.

“i told you they’d love you, didn’t i?” van whispered into your ear as she finally got you alone after hours of drunken karaoke and dancing. “i’m so proud of you, baby.”

“i love you so much.”

[agentc0rn]

More sygna suit AZ rambles plz, am hungry

Here comes a plateful of food!! Chew carefully lol. On a side note, I intended this as a rough sketch but I got really serious into it so part of it is thanks to you LOL

Az wants to find a gift for Floette - makes her a flower crown or something, fdghf.

Some young trainers and participants approach and ask AZ some friendly, curious questions (mostly about his height and his pokemon). He responds to them kindly (huge grandpa energy).

Floette wants to dance, but AZ says he can’t because of his age and physical limitations. After some words of encouragement from the main group (you + Shauna, Prof. Sycamore and Valerie) he concedes and does a little bit. - “It’s been well over 3000 years since we’ve partook in festive leisure together.” 

He asks you to teach him how to battle and stuff - joins you in sync pair battles  (Still dont know how masters work so i’m probably wrong) 

I also thought up of this worldbuilding idea that i spent some time cooking so feel free to read it if you want to---

Culture context: every time spring comes, Kalos celebrates its arrival with festivals (taken some inspiration none other than France itself of course!)

For instance, flower dances are held (also known as la danse des fleurs/la danse du printemps). This involves little girls dressing up as flabebes (Age 4-9), older girls as floette (10-15) and 16+ dress up as florges; little boys dress up as combee, teen boys wear roselia suits and adult teens wear Roserade. Each age group pairs up with their opposite genders and dances in circles to mimic the movement of the flabebe line and their relationship to the flowers and other pokemon.  The tradition centers on the flabebe line as the heralds  of spring; their presence signifies fertility of the land, where flowers and fruits can grow, marking the beginnings of new life. Legends say that the tradition can be traced back to an ancient record of a boy and his companion who frolicked along the flower fields a long time ago.

People also plant flowers in community gardens and give away flowers to others as a way of building stronger relationships with each other, plus deepening their ties to the land. 

[hangsawoman]

i'm just always thinking about jackie as rabbit and how rabbits always show up in shauna's life. she has numerous ceramic bunnies around the kitchen, jackie's mom gifts her new ones every year, bunnies eat all her plants and flowers, she catches them and skins them and guts them and eats them. it's the only way she can have jackie close, eat jackie again. but jackie hates rabbits. and shauna hates jackie. and the only way shauna keeps jackie alive is by surrounding herself with the thing jackie hates.

[woodenpicador]

natural habitats

(shaunanat, alternating POV, novel-length WIP, E)

“Look, here’s the deal.” Nat leans forward and plants her hands on the table. “If we do this, you tell nobody, okay? Not Van, not Laura Lee, not Taissa or Lottie or Misty fucking Quigley, do you understand me?”

Shauna frowns, but says nothing.

“That means you don’t tell Jackie, either,” Nat says. “If that’s going to be a problem, then let me know and we can both start rehearsing for the spring musical now.”

Natalie Scatorccio is having a bad year. She’s not sleeping, her mom’s new boyfriend sucks, and a blown history test might bench her for the season. Luckily, Coach Martinez has an idea:

Tutoring.

From Shauna Shipman.

Fuck.

chapter 1 - pluses and minuses

In which Natalie Scatorccio chooses poorly, and struggles with the consequences.

chapter 2 - the female of the species

In which Shauna Shipman tries to keep her eyes to the sky, and her secrets to herself.

chapter 3 - special treatment

In which Nat gets by with a little help from her friends.

chapter 4 - the charge of the dyke brigade

In which Shauna braves secondhand romance and secondhand smoke.

chapter 5 - panic rooms

In which Nat engages in unexpected cultural exchange.

chapter 6 - fuck

In which Shauna spends an evening in Holmdel, and takes the long way home.

chapter 7 - run

In which Nat spends an evening in Holmdel, and a weekend through the looking glass.

chapter 8 - come as you are

In which Shauna learns that not all secrets are burdensome, and some are even kind of fun.

chapter 9 - no place like

In which Nat learns that teamwork makes the dream work, and eats more than her words.

chapter 10 - telling time

In which Shauna looks both ways at the crossroads.

chapter 11 - tourniquet

In which Nat burns out.

[mamasplat]

ooooooooo ive been keeping up with the huge thread.. <3333

is the fic smth you actually want to do? id read it 👍

have you got a timeline in mind?

also hows the run going?

im still in the middle of playing y, im almost at the snowy city, check out my squad 💪💪💪💪💪🐺

The true Calem run is coming along great, I only have one spot to fill in my team and I just got through the power plant!

Now regarding actually writing the Kalos vs amour story, I want to, I’d LOVE TO. It’s something younger me wanted so badly to do- however I am not exactly confident in my writing.

I’ve dabbled under a few sites with a lot of different “pen names” if you will, and I’ve never been too fond of my own work. I struggle with coming off as redundant when I use one word too much without realizing till after the fact, but in my defense! I’m entirely self taught with reading and writing so It’s surprising I’m even a little bit literate.

I can’t say I have the confidence to get a beta reader either as that would mean letting someone read my messy work which- yeah that kinda makes my skin crawl. So it could be a great exercise for me! But it would be a big step. I haven’t publicly written anything since 2019 and it was all small fandom stuff.

But I do have a rough list of story beats? Kinda? Ideas really.

Serena leaves for her journey on a whim to see ash, but in the process she neglected to tell anyone other than her mother. Which means Calem would have no clue where she went until he went to Grace. The dialogue “I was starting to worry until I saw you on pokevision” definitely dings around my skull a bit.

He was a member of the summer camp team with Shauna Trevor and Tierno, he was just too shy to talk to Serena again after she up and left without warning, especially seeing her proximity to a guy who is wearing HIS EXACT JACKET

Yeah no I’m making that a thing, the fact him and Ash dress nearly identically is going to freak him out in some way.

When I envision this as animated scenes, I can see him as a faceless character watching from the sidelines. Obscured but noticeable, coming to a head at the end of the episode where there’s a scene between him a Shauna. In a cabin kitchen at camp, It reveals him and Shauna specifically are traveling together. His face still unseen she’d pry at him for information on why he was so distant and why he hid from Serena. He’d dodge the question with an ever brooding “I don’t know” and the silence would linger as whatever midnight snack is being prepared. A camera angle change and turning to face Shauna for the first time during the conversation it ends with a single line. “Who was that guy she was with anyways?”

We would then see him again officially in a later episode with the appearance of Shauna, he and Serena finally reconnect over an awkward apology for her sudden absence. He’s familiar with Serena, his behavior is starkly different around her to anyone else- even Shauna. And while it might not peek anyone else’s concern it would get Bonnie’s gears turning, the kid is perceptive and comes to the conclusion Calem likes Serena, but that also turns into distrust thanks to Calem’s inherent standoffish nature. She would recognize him as “no good”

Also insert plot of Ash being super hyped like “oh yeah! New rival! Let’s go!” And Calem being violently uncomfortable around this hyper short stack who is dressed just like him and traveling with his run away neighbor-

If you couldn’t tell, I’d have no clue how to pov this. A third person pov makes the most sense but with a shift in focus from our main cast to Calem and Shauna- idk-

I’ve put more thought into this as actual anime episodes rather than written pages, so it’s all art stuff in my head and might translate weird to a fanfic

[megalony]

The Proper Experience

This is a new Eddie Diaz imagine that I am hoping to make into a little series. It is a follow on from my imagine I Need To Help You, but it can be read on its own.

I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700

@ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

I Need To Help You

Part 2

Summary: After having a cryptic pregnancy before, (Y/n) is worried it will happen again. She wants to have control over her body and experience a pregnancy in the proper fashion.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late. It felt a little too late to class as the evening, but not late or dark enough to consider it night yet. Eddie had poked his head round Chris's bedroom door when he came in and the ten year old was almost asleep with a movie almost finished on his tv.

Something soft bubbled up in Eddie's eyes when he pushed open the bedroom door and took a peek inside.

Eddie wasn't too sure what he was expecting when he opened the door, but the sight he was greeted with was one that thoroughly melted his heart. Both his girls, tucked up in bed as calm and endearing as ever.

(Y/n) was laid in the middle of the bed, burrowed down in a nest of pillows and the covers pulled up to her stomach. She had her knees slightly pulled up and Bella curled up on her chest. The seven month old had her head burrowed beneath (Y/n)'s chin, her arms bound to her chest, knees imbedded in (Y/n)'s stomach and a dark blue pacifier between her lips.

With both arms draped around Bella, (Y/n) had her cheek leaning on top of the toddler's head and her hand rhythmically gliding up and down Bella's back to keep her settled and asleep.

Eddie quietly nudged the door shut with his foot before he advanced over towards the bed. He nudged a few of the pillows out the way so he could perch down beside (Y/n). His hip nudged into her thigh and his right hand planted down on the bed, draping across both her legs like he was trying to cage her in his embrace.

"Hi mi amor, you girls okay?"

His other hand moved to run up and down (Y/n)'s arm while his head tilted to one side. He loved the look in (Y/n)'s creased eyes and the tender smile, briefly distorted by her tongue darting out across her lower lip.

"She settled easy tonight… she's actually happy with me."

Her words made Eddie fight to keep his smile from falling into a saddened frown and he kept his smile by leaning forward and pressing his lips to the back of Bella's head.

Considering that (Y/n) had suffered a cryptic pregnancy where they had no clue they were expecting Bella until (Y/n) gave birth, she had coped extremely well with being a sudden, new mother. She adjusted to the change in routines, looking after a newborn and Chris and adjusting to having a baby around. Not to mention the funny looks and whispers when friends and family found out.

But the one thing (Y/n) hadn't coped well with was bonding with Bella.

She loved her daughter, (Y/n) loved her more than she ever thought she would love someone. She could easily get her to take her bottle, was fine getting up with her during the night, changing and bathing her, coping with her each day. But soothing Bella wasn't something (Y/n) felt natural with. She loved Bella, but she couldn't bond with her like she wanted to.

She felt as if Bella didn't love her because the little girl seemed to love settling for anyone but (Y/n). She was always attached to Eddie and often fell asleep on his chest.

She settled easily for Maddie, who often felt overwhelmed with love because she too hadn't bonded with Jee when she was born, but Maddie had somehow bonded with her niece instead. Bella was great for Buck and for Eddie's parents, but it took (Y/n) hours to get her settled.

Bella seemed to tire of (Y/n) soon after cuddling with her. The only way (Y/n) had found to soothe her was when Bella needed feeding. She could properly cuddle her baby while giving her a bottle.

"Of course she's happy with you." Eddie murmured softly before he leaned forward to press a wet kiss to (Y/n)'s exposed neck while his hand continued to feather across Bella's head and back.

Tonight something just clicked into place. Bella didn't scream when (Y/n) cradled her and paced up and down to get her to settle to sleep. And when (Y/n) decided to test the waters and lay in bed with her daughter, the seven month old cuddled into her straight away and had been like this for almost two hours.

"She isn't normally," (Y/n) muttered, but there was no malice or pain in her voice. God knows Eddie had been worried the first two months of having Bella when he'd found (Y/n) crying, saying their daughter hated her and wanted him instead.

"She is, did you see how long it took Buck to get her to stop crying last week?"

Shuffling to the right, (Y/n) laid her head on Eddie's shoulder, pushing herself into his chest so he had to move round to sit beside her. He looped his left arm across the back of her shoulders and smothered his lips against the side of her temple.

"Everyone knows she prefers you, even my mum noticed."

"Oh, because your mother's the expert." Eddie gave her shoulder a squeeze but he sighed when (Y/n) didn't respond because her point still stood. "Okay, so maybe she's easier for me, but you know that doesn't mean she isn't bonding with you. It was the same with me and Chris, I never got that bond. He barely knew me, that was my fault, but he wouldn't settle or attach to me."

Eddie started to glide his hand up and down her arm while his other hand moved to rest on Bella's back.

Eddie knew what (Y/n) was going through, it was the exact same emotions he felt after coming home from the army. He had one week with Chris when he was born, and then he had over six months without him. Chris didn't know who he was when he came home and Eddie understood that, but it still killed him.

It killed to have Chris crying and roaring and when Eddie picked him up, he screamed worse. He wouldn't settle, he wouldn't stop and he wouldn't even take his bottle until Eddie handed him over to Shannon.

They didn't bond until Eddie came back from his second tour in the army and Chris was already talking and shuffling around. Eddie had to put a lot of work in to get the close bond he now had with Chris, and it was all of his own doing. He chose to go in the army, but Shannon leaving pushed him and Chris closer together. Eddie wouldn't change anything, but he could understand where (Y/n) was coming from.

And he knew it was worse for her because she hadn't gone anywhere like he did. She didn't need to put in the extra work, that bond should already be there but for some reason, her and Bella didn't always see eye to eye.

He had an inkling that it was because (Y/n) hadn't known about the pregnancy. She didn't get those first few months to get used to the idea, to hear Bella's heartbeat and feel her movements and see her on the scans. She didn't get that initial closeness and time to prepare herself for having a baby.

Bella was just launched upon them like a strange, bewildered surprise. (Y/n)'s body had to adjust and her mind had to come to terms with what had happened and it stopped her from getting close to Bella.

"But I want her to. I want her to love me, to be like this more often." She could feel tears welling up in her eyes but she pushed them away and snuggled further into Eddie. She could feel him sighing into her hair as his hand moved to cradle her jaw and his thumb glided across her cheek.

"Baby, she knows who you are and she does love you. She might settle for others, but she won't settle with them for long. It's just gonna take a bit longer. You wait until she starts talking, I'll bet she clings to you then."

(Y/n) cradled the back of Bella's head while she leaned back into the pillows so she could look at Eddie. She was pleasantly surprised when his lips captured hers in a deep kiss that almost bruised her lips. She let herself sink back into the pillows, trying to keep Bella steady on her chest while Eddie leaned over her. His hand moved up to cradle the side of her neck while his left hand planted down into the mattress to keep himself hovering over her. He didn't want to drop his weight down onto either of them.

She knew what Eddie was saying was true, but it just felt like it was taking so long to get that closeness with Bella that she truly wanted. And if she didn't have it by now, at nine months along, was she really going to get it at all?

Tonight did prove to (Y/n) though that Bella didn't hate her or hate being with her. If her daughter was fine to settle with her tonight and have a long cuddle and go to sleep with her, then maybe things were going to get better.

When he pulled back, Eddie nudged his nose against her cheek and trailed his lips down the side of her neck, grinning when he felt a shiver tear through her skin.

"Want me to put her in bed?" He kept his voice quiet while he trailed his tongue over the mark he's just bitten into her skin.

Part of (Y/n) didn't want to set Bella back down in her room in her cot. She couldn't help but worry that come tomorrow, the magic would fade and Bella would never be this content with her again. But she knew she couldn't just lay with Bella on her chest all night, she would have to set her down at some point. It may as well be now with her being content and fast asleep.

She nodded and leaned forward to peck Eddie's temple before he leaned back on his knees and heels while his arms stretched out for their little girl.

A soft "Come here carino," passed his lips as he eased Bella from (Y/n)'s chest and turned her round so she could curl up into his own chest instead. His lips smothered the top of her head along the few wisps of hair that was finally starting to grow properly.

His hand trailed up and down her back while he carefully backed off the bed and headed towards the bedroom door.

It didn't take Eddie long to get Bella laid out in her cot, dozing off so deeply she was puffing around the pacifier she was so attached to. Once the door was closed behind him, Eddie stripped off his work clothes and tossed them in the hamper they kept in the hallway, leaving him in his boxers.

He took a second to peek into Chris's room again and when he noticed the ten year old was now fast asleep, he reached across for the remote and turned the tv off.

Both kids were asleep.

He ran his fingers through his hair while he lightly tapped his knuckles on the bathroom door before heading in. He had heard (Y/n) moving about and knew she had gone into the bathroom while he settled Bella in her cot.

His hands reached out for (Y/n)'s hips when he noticed her stood in front of the sink. He leaned over her, smiling tenderly before he attacked his lips to the back of her neck. His hands squeezed into her hips, taking note of the fact that she was only wearing her pyjama shirt and her underwear, a sight Eddie always loved.

He felt (Y/n) wriggle her hips back into him and she grinned at him through the mirror in front of them both while he moved his hand down to playfully swat at her thigh.

He went to move past her after a few seconds, about to go over to the cabinet but he stopped when something caught his eye on the sink.

His teeth sank down into his bottom lip and he held his breath while he leaned around (Y/n) again, pressing his hips into her bum so he could grab something from the back of the sink near the taps.

A pregnancy test.

The smile on (Y/n)'s lips faded and she put her hairbrush down, twisting to look at Eddie.

The look on his face was a little perplexed, but there was no panic or amusement or even confusion written in the lines on his face like (Y/n) was expecting. Her lips parted but she couldn't find what she needed to say, what she wanted to say to explain.

Instead, she watched the way Eddie's eyes narrowed on the test, scrutinising it, clearly wanting to know what the result was. After a few seconds, he tenderly set the test back down on the side of the sink before he moved to lean back against the wall between the sink and the bath. His shoulders expanded and levelled out and his head turned to the left so he was looking at (Y/n).

His smile was almost off-putting because he looked like he understood without (Y/n) even having to try to explain and she didn't know whether that made her feel better or worse.

She took a quick peek before opening the small caddy bin beneath the sink and tossing the test in.

"Negative." She whispered so hoarsely that her voice didn't sound like it belonged to her anymore. And Eddie hummed, seemingly waiting for her to elaborate. "I- I didn't think I was, I just wanted to be sure."

Her hands rubbed together in front of her and moved to grasp the sink tightly enough that her nails began to scratch into the glistening white marble. She tensed her elbows and leaned her weight forward, but (Y/n) didn't feel able to look away from Eddie or that intense gaze that fell upon her.

"Okay." His smile made (Y/n)'s eyes water and he could tell she wanted him to say something else, but she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to hear.

"Okay?"

"Baby… you think I don't know you take a test each month? It's okay, I know you need that reassurance."

Eddie wasn't blind and he wasn't ignorant either. He had seen a test a few months ago stuffed at the back of the medicine cabinet. And then he had seen one in the bin. He knew that at the end of every month, like clockwork, (Y/n) would take a pregnancy test. And he knew that almost every time, she didn't actually think she was pregnant.

He noticed her start this kind of ritual- if it could be called that- the month after Bella was born. And Eddie didn't say anything. He could see that (Y/n) had to do this to calm herself down and prove to her mind that she wasn't going to have another unexpected labour ordeal. It was almost like a compulsion, but Eddie could see that it helped to calm her down so he didn't comment.

A feeble "You know?" muttered past (Y/n)'s lips as she looked down at the sink rather than Eddie's understanding eyes.

She didn't think he noticed. She thought he might have seen one or two of the tests in the cupboard, but she didn't know he knew she took one each month.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Eddie wouldn't push the subject if (Y/n) didn't want to talk about it, but if she wanted to he would happily listen and try to help if he could and if she wanted him to.

"I just… I don't wanna be ignorant, like last time. If I don't take one, I'll panic." (Y/n) spoke as she opened the bathroom door and trailed into the bedroom, Eddie following swiftly behind. It didn't feel right to stand and have this conversation in the bathroom.

She moved towards the bed and plopped down in the middle, crossing her legs beneath her as her hands found her lap and she started scratching her nails up and down her exposed thighs. She felt a little calmer when Eddie shut the door and sat down on the bed next to her. His hand grazed over her knee while his other elbow dug into his thigh so he could prop his chin up on his hand.

"What about your check ups? They're monthly, aren't they?"

"That's not enough, and I won't be having them anymore, doctor says I don't need them and he's right. I only went for the blood tests, but if I don't get them anymore, I need to keep checking."

Since having Bella, (Y/n) had gone for a check up every week for the first month, and then one every month after that. Mainly for blood tests to make sure her levels were evening out and to make sure her kidney function was back to normal as they had been uneven when she had Bella.

The blood tests would also show if (Y/n) ever got pregnant again so every visit, she was definitely reassured that she wasn't about to have another surprise baby. But she didn't need those check ups anymore, her levels were back to normal, she wasn't ill and she and Bella were perfectly fine. The doctor was quite happy to discharge (Y/n) and only see her if she made appointments for any concerns.

But those blood tests weren't happening anymore and (Y/n) needed to keep up that routine of checking every month so she knew for certain. She had been taking a test to calm down her raging panic and the blood tests were just the icing on the cake to cement in her mind that she wasn't having any more surprises. She had been so shocked by giving birth to Bella and not understanding how her body had hid this from her that she didn't trust her body anymore.

"Are you okay?" The tenderness to Eddie's words broke something within (Y/n)'s chest and she felt her heart give out an extra beat that physically pained her.

She could see the panic in his otherwise calm eyes and he did well to keep his expression neutral. He tried to pride himself on knowing (Y/n) better than anyone else, better than himself sometimes, and he thought he was doing good at checking in and making sure she was coping after Bella. But now he was starting to doubt himself.

"Do you think I'm being silly?" She couldn't hide the panic from her voice but just when her hands started to grate together in her lap, Eddie reached out and took them. He clasped both her hands in his and brought them up to press a tender kiss against her knuckles.

"No, I don't. After what you went through, wanting to be sure isn't silly, mi amor. But are you sure you're okay? I don't want you to start panicking every month like this if you don't have to, if I can do something to help."

He would never think or tell (Y/n) she was being silly. He could see this was almost bordering on OCD to take a test and prove to herself that she wasn't pregnant. But he was worried that (Y/n) might not be coping, he knew this could either get better or worse, it rarely stayed the same.

(Y/n) might stop taking the tests after a while or take one every three or four months just to be safe. Or she could start taking them more often or worrying herself sick that she might be missing something. She might start to believe she was ill or that something could be wrong with her health if her body could hide a baby from her for nine months, maybe it could hide an illness too.

"I- I thought I got my period, last time. It's like my body betrayed me, I don't wanna do that again. Eddie, I- fuck, I thought I was dying, I wish I'd of known what was going on."

Tears welled up in her eyes but she did her best to push them away as she turned to curl into Eddie.

Her knees coiled up against her chest but she gasped when Eddie's arms moved faster than she could comprehend. He slid one arm around her waist and the other beneath her knees and slid her over onto his lap. Her legs hooked over his thigh so she was sat on his lap and she instantly curled her arms around his lower chest. She nuzzled her face into his bare chest that oozed heat like a human radiator and his heat and scent calmed down the nerves raging up inside of her.

Feeling his lips against her head and the way his hand slid beneath her shirt to cup her waist made (Y/n) smile into his chest.

Her body had lied to her. It concealed such a big event from her and until going into labour, (Y/n) thought she had some sort of stomach bug.

That night in the bathroom, she had sobbed wondering if she was suffering a prolapse or an internal haemorrhage or some kind of rupture. She thought she might die, the pain was so intense and strange and unforeseen. She had been praying that Eddie would turn up and do something to take the pain away or at least be there with her.

It wasn't until she felt something between her legs that it all clicked into place and she had to push, realising she was going to have a baby on her own like that.

(Y/n) didn't want to go through that again without knowing. She had missed out on so much and if she got pregnant again, (Y/n) wanted- no, she needed to know about it. She couldn't be blindsided like that again.

"Oh baby," He murmured quietly into her hair while his fingertips glided across her hip until she was shivering and squirming against him. "I'm grateful we've got Bella, I love her to pieces, but I don't wanna go through that panic again either. And I don't think it would happen again, the doctors said it was very rare."

"I should of known, we missed everything, Eddie. Scans, the heartbeat, I didn't even look any different. And we had no time to think or prepare for her."

"I know."

(Y/n) still couldn't wrap her head around it. She couldn't believe her stomach didn't change or expand more than one inch in odd places. She couldn't believe she didn't feel the baby move, or maybe she did, but it wasn't prominent and she regarded it as something else. They got no scans, no pictures, no heartbeat. No time to tell family and friends or make a celebration.

And no time to adjust to the prospect of being parents again. Her body just gave them a baby and told them to deal with it.

It didn't help that practically none of their friends believed them. They all seemed to have an opinion about it. (Y/n) hid this from everyone. She knew a week or two ago and didn't tell them. She'd had an affair and that's why she didn't tell Eddie. She didn't want the baby but was too late to change her mind. She had the baby at home because she wasn't going to keep her.

Everyone thought something different and (Y/n) was sick of their sideways glances at her and the chatter behind her back. She knew Maddie had gotten angry with a lot of people down at the call centre when they were suddenly snickering and gossiping that (Y/n) hadn't turned up to work and was now on maternity leave.

"Baby…I just wanna ask, are you so worried because you don't want anymore kids?"

If the answer was yes then that was okay, but Eddie felt obliged to ask. When they got married they talked about kids, they always said they would think and maybe try soon. They wanted to spend time being married first and focusing on Chris before they had a baby. And they had been encouraged when Chris started asking the moment they got married if they were going to have a baby soon. He wanted a sibling.

But Bella's birth had been anything but normal and it had been a shock. Eddie would never want another baby in the same way, he would want to know and prepare and get ready if they had another baby. But now he was nervous that maybe (Y/n) was so scarred by this that she couldn't bear the thought of having another baby.

(Y/n) stopped clutching at Eddie's back so tightly and retracted her hand so she could feather her fingers up and down his chest instead. She tilted her head back, brushing her cheek against his shoulder so she could look up at him.

"I'm… I'm worried I'll be cheated out of the experience again." She could see the confusion in his eyes while he removed his hand from her hip so he could cradle her hand that was on his chest.

"What'do you mean?"

"I feel tricked. I want another baby, I want more kids, but I want the experience this time. I want to actually have a bump, and go to scans, I wanna feel them kick and tell our families, tell you in a special way. So I keep checking, in case I am and I don't know. I want to know from the beginning this time."

Part of (Y/n)'s panic was fuelled by the pain of Bella's birth and the overbearing thoughts that it could happen again. She was proving to her brain that she wasn't pregnant, she wasn't missing out again and she wasn't being tricked by her own reproductive system. Her womb wasn't hiding a baby away from her.

But the other part of her was desperate to keep checking because if they got pregnant again, (Y/n) was determined to do it properly.

She wanted to know early on and tell Eddie in a lovely way, give him a present or let Chris tell him. And she wanted to tell her parents so they wouldn't be flabbergasted and as demeaning as they had been when they found out about Bella. She wanted to tell Maddie and Buck and see them light up and get excited. (Y/n) wanted to see Chris light up and ask to help get things ready again.

She wanted to see and feel her body change and see how Eddie would look at her when her stomach grew. She wanted to go to scans and feel the baby move and get mood swings and back ache and the whole experience. (Y/n) wanted it all. She wanted to know and have a baby properly and prepare herself mentally and physically.

So when she went into labour, she wouldn't be panicked, frightened for her life. She wouldn't scare her son or petrify her husband and her family and she wouldn't have to go through the trauma again. Or explain to everyone what had happened and deal with their reactions.

Her lips curved into a soft smile when she felt Eddie bring her hand up so he could kiss her palm.

"I promise, baby, if we have another baby, we'll find out early. Everything will work out better next time."

That was good, that was a relief. Eddie smiled as he nudged her chin to tilt her head back, allowing him to smother her lips with his own and steal the air from her lungs.

Because he hated that they had missed out with Bella. Next time, they could get the scan photos, they could have a celebration and tell their family and friends. They could prepare and get ready and have a plan in place. Eddie could adore the way her body changed and he could look after her properly and be there when she went into labour.

Next time it would be different.

***

A sigh tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips as she bounced Bella higher on her hip to try and calm the nine month old down, but she wasn't settling. And this time, (Y/n) couldn't blame her.

She was teething.

With her lips smothered to the side of Bella's temple, (Y/n) headed into the kitchen and crouched down in front of the freezer, ignoring the way it made her head spin when she leaned down.

Once she found the teething ring she'd stuck in there last night, she held it out to the toddler on her hip. Watching with a tepid smile as Bella seemed to eye it curiously before taking it. She was at the stage where she was trying to gnaw on all her toys and teddies so munching on a cold toy was going to soothe her gums right now when her teeth were trying to break through.

(Y/n) ran her free hand up and down her face to liven herself up, but it didn't make her feel any better.

Her head was pounding from the headache she couldn't seem to shake these past few days and now her eyes were stinging in a mix between wanting to cry and feeling a migraine coming on.

Every nerve in her body was telling her to stay home and not go back to work today.

It hadn't been as bad as (Y/n) expected to start back at work this week. For the last week since (Y/n) agreed to her back to work start date, she had been walking on egg shells. After so many months at home, adjusting to having a baby and always being there for Chris and Bella, coming back to work was a big change that (Y/n) wasn't all too happy with.

Despite the lack of connection with Bella, (Y/n) still wanted to be at home with her. She wanted to be with her baby and pick Chris up from school and be at home with him cooking or doing his homework or playing video games. She thought coming back to work would be a good idea to get back into that routine she had before they had Bella, but it was hard.

(Y/n) had been worried about the reactions and looks she was going to get from her colleagues. They had all been whispering and asking Maddie lots of questions since (Y/n) went on maternity leave and (Y/n) just knew when she went back someone would say something and she would receive those funny looks she was dreading.

So far it had been okay for the first two shifts she had been back. A few odd looks when people thought she wasn't looking. Two people saying they were happy to see her back and asking how her 'surprise baby' was doing. And one chide remark from Lewis, one of the IT guys.

(Y/n) was relieved to be doing the nine to three hours so she could take Chris to school and pick him up and get Bella from daycare. It was also her way of easing back into work. She didn't want to be doing twelve hour shifts anymore, it was going to be too long for her and she needed to be back for the kids if Eddie was also at work.

But she didn't really want to be going to work, she had a great urge to stay home. And she didn't know whether that urge was fuelled by the desire to stay with the kids or stay away from any funny looks and snide remarks she might get at work.

Her first day back at the start of the week, (Y/n) had been looking around the call room every few minutes like she was waiting to find people glaring at her or sniggering her way. She knew people weren't looking, but she checked anyway just like she didn't think she was pregnant each month, but she had still been checking.

Not this month, though, or last month. She had tried to stop. She was trying to prove to herself that she was okay and not checking wouldn't mean she was going to wake up one night suddenly in labour again. She knew she wasn't helping herself by getting into such a habit like that.

"Want a coffee before work?" Eddie's words vibrated through her neck as he crept up behind her. He peppered kisses up and down her neck and moved to kiss the back of Bella's head before he weaved round them to get to the kettle.

Eddie wasn't at work today, another reason (Y/n) didn't want to go in. She didn't want to go knowing Eddie and Bella were going to be home all day, it was a thought that made her desperate to stay with them than to be away from them.

When (Y/n) nodded, Eddie set to work making them both a coffee, adding a splash of milk into hers while he always had his as black as night.

They both heard Chris turn the tv on in the living room, getting his morning fix of a new science programme Buck had recently showed him. It was on almost every morning before school and Chris had made a new routine to watch it before he went.

(Y/n) leaned her cheek on top of Bella's head who was now settled with the teething ring. Her chubby cheeks red hot from crying and she was snuffling and panting, but at least she was calmer now.

She smiled gratefully when Eddie handed her a coffee in her usual mug, a pale lilac colour with Mrs Diaz painted in silver italics with two rings in each corner.

Her eyes followed Eddie as he set about putting waffles in the toaster, arching his hips and bum out while he folded his arms on the kitchen counter. Despite only wearing a pair of jogging bottoms that hung very low around his torso, he looked good. She could see the way his right knee was bent forward and pressing into the counter while his other leg was as straight as a ruler to maintain his balance.

But when she brought her mug to her lips and took a sip, her nose crinkled and her throat tightened at the taste. It was sour. It didn't smell off, although the coffee did smell oddly strong and it wasn't as appealing as normal. (Y/n) took a few more sips, trying to ward off her headache like caffeine usually did but it still didn't settle or taste right.

"Milk's off." She mumbled, sliding the cup across the counter which caused Eddie to frown and grab the carton with a quiet and confused "Off?"

He flipped the cap up and sniffed the bottle before daring to take a small sip. It hadn't been open long and it looked fine when he made a drink. And Chris had his usual cereal for breakfast, he hadn't said it tasted funny and he was particular about anything he would eat or drink.

"Tastes fine to me." Eddie shook his head and reached out for (Y/n)'s cup instead. Maybe it was the coffee. But when he downed a few gulps, despite the odd taste because he was used to black coffee, it wasn't off or tasted sour to him. "It's how you usually like it," He commented softly but his eyes narrowed when (Y/n) started to rub her temple.

She rubbed circles into her temple to try and ward off the migraine but it wasn't working. And just the thought of going to work was making her feel a whole lot worse.

"You okay, mi amor?"

She wanted to answer, but all (Y/n) could do was swallow harshly and shake her head when she could feel the coffee crawling back up her throat.

Pushing forward, she hastily held her arms out towards Eddie who leaned back into the counter and quickly scooped Bella up. His teeth gritted together and his shoulders jerked up when the freezing cold teething ring in Bella's grip pressed down into Eddie's bare chest and he shuffled her round to stop the shockwaves running through his nerves.

He spun Bella round so she was sat on his left forearm with his right arm around her middle, keeping her back pressed into his chest as he jostled her up and down lightly in his arms.

But his eyes focused on (Y/n) when she groaned, digging her waist into the edge of the counter so she could throw up the coffee into the sink.

A few quiet whines from Bella turned into cries and her legs started to kick and swing against Eddie's arm, causing him to rock her up and down a bit more. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, gently shushing her while he moved over towards (Y/n).

"I don't think you should be going into work today." He pressed a longing kiss to her shoulder and nudged his hip against hers while his eyes watched her intently.

Noting the way (Y/n) pressed her hand to her forehead and stayed stooped over the sink, just in case she had anything else to throw up.

"I-it's just nerves, or your coffee."

Eddie balanced on one leg so he could lift his other foot high enough to swat the back of (Y/n)'s thigh playfully. He tilted his chin down and gave her that certain look with an arched brow that told her he didn't believe her. He knew she was nervous, getting back into work after having time off was never easy, but (Y/n) hadn't been nervous enough to throw up the other day on her first shift.

He didn't like the thought of (Y/n) going to work if she was going to be sick and if she was working all day and didn't manage to stomach breakfast or lunch, she would only make herself worse.

"You sure you're good to go? You know Maddie will send you home if she thinks you're ill."

Assured she wasn't going to be sick again, (Y/n) pushed up from the sink, clenching her hands into fists to stop them from subtly shaking. She inched over until she could loop her arms around Eddie's neck, being mindful of Bella in his arms so she could bury herself into his side. Her cheek rested on his shoulder and she felt his lips in her hair.

"Baby you're shaking," Eddie's voice was quiet but the worry was there. He couldn't move his arms with Bella crying in his arms as he tried to jostle her to calm her down. So he settled for nudging his nose into (Y/n)'s hair. He could feel her trembling against him, she wasn't well.

She could feel her resolve fading away the longer Eddie kissed her temple and the longer she leaned into him. She didn't feel well. Her head was splitting apart and she had the kind of shakes she associated with when she felt faint or unwell.

Maybe she should stay home today. Maybe she was coming down with something.

[warlenys]

bought some new plants today and named them shauna and jackie i’m digging myself into the hole it’s a beautiful hole though

[a-tale-of-legends]

Okay some plot stuff cause I don't think I'm gonna be doing much tonight. Maybe I dunno.

1) Sena and Dexio are kinda pointless in canon. They show up twice , I think, and are very obvious so I don't exactly get the point. However, if we take the perspective of a vigilante route, I think they would be more interesting. They, for one, do not trust Lysandre at all. They are civil with him, being friendly on the surface, but they find him too suspicious. They try and voice their concerns with Sycamore...but he simply brushes them off. Now, Sycamore has talked to Lysandre about his....intense passion about his beliefs. Multiple times I would say. But truthfully he's not willing to believe that his Lysandre is the leader of a villainous team. Not yet, anyway. So not exactly having the support of the professor and the league not seeming to do anything,they go " fine, we'll do it ourselves >:(". And yes, it was Sena's idea. I think they would be rather shocked to see Jude and co getting so involved in team flare stuff. Like yes, they're almost adults, all of them being in their late teens in my au, but they're still kids. They shouldn't be dealing with that stuff. Both Sena and Dexio know that by themselves they can't take risk team flare, but they don't want the kids to get super involved. So atm, their main goal is to find evidence to prove to Sycamore that Team Flare is a bigger threat than imagined and that Lysandre is involved with it all. It's not easy, though, when there's team flare grunts hiding in plain sight. I think Tierno can actually help them with this imo. I feel like, next to Shauna, he's the most sociable with the better people skills. He's an entertainer, after all. I don't think he's a master manipulator, or an esteemed socialite ( he's really Just A Guy who likes dancing and fashion), but his sociability is enough to get some info regarding team flare. At least that's how I see it.

2) Lysandre. It would feel weird to have Lysandre not be his obvious self, but to add more to the mystery and what I have planned for Sena and Dexio, he needs to be less obvious. So. To people of the scientists world, he's Professor Lysandre, an amazing scientist and engineer. To the regular public? He's the stoic yet friendly cafe owner of Lysandre Cafe, who always has some sagely advice or a shoulder to lean on. To Sycamore, he's the love of his life. At most, he's passionate, which does cause some concern, but ultimately harmless, right? No way our beloved Lysandre would want to commit genocide for the sake of a "new and beautiful world?" right????? No way.

3) I think I'm gonna go forward with the Elute 4 not getting involved until after the power plant. That would certainly get their attention,I think. Sure the PokeBall factory would probably be more noticeable, but my goal is to have them be as proactive as they possibly can, so sooner rather than later is best. It would be hard, with their busy schedules, but it'll work. They do it in secret to lessen the panic within the public. If the elite 4 publicly announced their intentions, it would not only make the public go into a panic, but also let team flare know they are into them. Unfortunately for them, Malva is there, either feeding them false information or giving Team Flare the heads up. So. Whoops. It's the thought that counts, I guess.

[tabithatwo]

I’m gonna have more thoughts on this when I rewatch and it isn’t late at night but I’m really like wow that episode was NOT IT for me and that’s the first time I’ve felt like that about Yellowjackets and it’s a scary feeling!!

like why have we established shauna as being so possessive over Jackie for 11 episodes just for her to cave immediately, why was the MAKEUP of all things the trigger like I know Tai wanted to be done with the Jackie Barbie and she was stressed by her own sleepwalking so she lashed out but the dramatic point and yell and SHAME her and everyone panics about makeup??? MAKEUP?? She’s been out there all day and half the night for months, did we think she was sitting quietly in a corner?? The line about “for the baby” fucking bizarre to me??

the focus on the MEN suddenly like so man heavy!! The long fucking spirit threesome I need to rewatch but like idk idk.

The 96 and 21 plot lines felt super disjointed to me especially for shauna. I’ve just never ended an episode and felt like…what the fuck was that.

The reverting to “you did it to BE me” I can’t even get started on, literally THE line I was dreading happening the most, the gay they planted so heavily being YANKED back, after promos and scenes in 201 very intentionally setting up a moment of either solidification or at least postponement. Like truly that line is what I feared the most but hopefully the show proves me wrong and doesn’t do this shit indefinitely.

I did love adult lottie like that’s my comedic relief amazing ass rich bitch I love her crazy, snarky ass. And I thought Ben was gonna shoot himself at the end there fr fr lol like the kids are NOT alright. Also, 2 month old corpse?? Like I see rabies girl coming soon bc that cannot be good.

I’m hoping and PRAYING I rewatch tomorrow and have a new take and see the light but I was distracted from even really grieving Jackie which I assumed I’d be doing a LOT of by just a sense of…what the fuck is going on here.

Maybe no one needs my long winded decompression BUT *I* needed it and if you’re also feeling a sense of wtf you’re not alone lmao and if you loved it I am so happy for you I’m not coming for you enjoyment of it I’m just…processing a meh feeling about a show that has never made me feel meh before!