#Shartered Ass
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I don't use this often but hey why not use this for a stupid purpose. so awhile ago I decided to reletter a bad comic and make it say stupid dick jokes. this was the result, the first part of multiple attempts edit a comic to make it funny, welcome to Shartered ass!
26 notes · View notes
nerbulent · 2 years ago
Text
so sick of pissing... cannot wait for when i lm old enough to be in diapers gonna not go to the sharter for a whole ass day. cannot wait for that.
anyon got incotnince tips for causing it specificaly? can't remove my prostate cause solidry with toppg andpro tate and also if i removed it wooudl be anarchy. love the state
6 notes · View notes
emgkheadcannons · 4 years ago
Text
Sports Headcanon Part 2
Here is part 2. There is some NSFW but it’s not heavy. Also this is my first time writing smut.  NSFW under the cut.
Basketball and College football are where things get nasty. Kelly is a die hard Cavaliers and The Ohio State University (OSU). Em is the same for the Pistons and University of Michigan (U of M). It doesn’t help that these teams are massive rivals. One game got particularly nasty, which led to a broken tv, and the rise of ‘the bet’. The bet consists of two parts, and is the same for when the Pistons play the Cavaliers, and when U of M plays OSU. The first, and public part is that the loser has to wear the jersey (or fan gear) of the winners team. The second part of the bet is just for Em and Kelly. The winner gets to decide what they do, their next evening together. 
Em has season court side seats to the Detroit Pistons, and invites Kelly to come with him to the game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. Kelly of course accepts, and comes over decked in Cavs gear, including his 2016 championship ring. They take a lot of pictures with fans before the game and wave when they are on the Jumbotron. The game is close but the Cavaliers pull out a win. 
Kelly is elated. He already has an outfit planned out for his boyfriend. He ordered a reproduction of his championship ring that the Cavaliers gave him, in Em’s size. He also has a new Cavs hoodie for Em, which he can steal later, for himself. It will be a nice addition to the clothes he has stolen from Em. 
Em is a good sport and wears the hoodie and ring, the next day at lunch with Kelly. The other Pistons fans they see are pretty chill and don’t make a big deal out of it. Some pictures are shared but it’s all in fun. 
Once they return to Em’s house, Kelly has Em change clothes and gets ready for their date. Kelly loves Em and respects his hermit nature but there is no way he was going to waste this opportunity to go out. 
“So where are we going tonight?” Em asks as he looks at the outfits Kelly picked out for him. The first was a pair of basketball shorts, a generic white tee and his running shoes. The other was a  pair of his nice black jeans, a black hoodie, his black bomber jacket, and some of his favorite sneakers. 
“We are going to take a class, then you’re taking me to the Grey Ghost Detroit.” Kelly responds as he continues to get dressed.
“Class? What kind of class?” Em starts to put on the workout clothes.
“I got us a private pole dancing lesson. Now come on I don’t want to be late.” Kelly heads to the door, and to the car without giving EM a second look. EM follows behind him, wondering how he let this happen.
Kelly kills the class, and Em is impressed and already planning to instal a pole in his house. Em did oaky and had some fun. Pole dancing is fucking hard and he now has more respect for anyone who does this for a living. After a shower and a change they head to the restaurant for a well deserved dinner. Em looks great in the all black ensemble Kelly picked out. It complements the outfit Kelly picked out. He was wearing the same outfit he wore to the 2017 VMAs. Dinner goes well. They get a private booth in the back, their food is tasty, and no one bothers them. EM likes going to the Grey Ghost for that reason. He is able to be in public without having to worry about people asking for a photo or autograph every five minutes. 
Back at the house Kelly walks up behind the older rapper, wrapping his arms around him. 
“So how are you feeling old man? Still sore?” Kelly asks. 
“I’m not old, brat, but Yeah, a little sore.” EM says, swatting away the hands.
“How does a message sound?”-K
His hands start to rub up and down Em’s sides, settling on his hips, causing Em to shiver. 
“Yeah that sounds nice.”-E
Kelly guides him down the hall, towards their bedroom. Flipping on the lights, Kelly starts pulling on Em’s clothes. 
“Go ahead and strip down, I’ll be right back, I’m going to grab the oil.”-K
Kelly heads to the bathroom, grabbing the massage oil, and stripping down to his boxers. As he returns to the bedroom, Em is naked face down on the bed. He takes a moment to appreciate the sight before moving over to the bed, before preceding. He gets on the bed, sits on top of Eminem’s perfect ass, and covers his palms in the oil. 
---NSFW---
 Kelly starts with Em’s neck and shoulders, working the tension out. He then moves onto the arms, rubbing the sore muscles loose. After Em’s arms, Kelly works on his back, getting the knots out, before getting up to work on his legs. 
“Hey can you spread your legs a little for me?” 
As Em spreads them apart, Kelly sits right in between them. He works his way down the older rappers legs, giving special attention to his feet, before working his way back up, this time working his ass.
The massage feels great. EM is so relaxed he could fall asleep, but all of this touching has given him a half chub. The more Kelly rubs his hips and ass, the more he wants to start rubbing his dick against the bed, for some friction.
“Hey lift your hips up” Kelly says as he places a pillow under Em, and starts to work on his ass cheeks even more.
Kelly pulls his checks apart and begins to mess with his hole. Em feels the oil being poured over his hole, and then one of Kelly’s long fingers is pushing against the ring of muscle. He is slowly being worked open, but after Kelly adds his second finger, something was at the base of it teasing his hole.Em realized what it was. Kelly was fingering him while wearing his Cavs championship ring. A moan escapes his lips, as Kelly curls his fingers, hitting his prostate. He is quickly getting hard. EM starts to push back and forth trying to fuck himself on Kelly’s fingers, while getting some relief for his dick. 
As another finger is added, Kelly reaches around to fist Eminem’s cock, jacking him in time with the fingers in his ass. Em can’t help but moan. 
With all the attention his dick is getting, and the stimulation to that wonderful bundle of nerves, Em doesn’t last long. He cums with a shout all over Kelly’s hand. The younger man continues to pleasure EM through his orgasm but stops when it becomes too much. Kelly releases his dick, and slowly removes his fingers wiping them on the bed.
“How do you feel?”
A muffled moan comes from Em, making Kelly chuckle. The blond moves them around so he is spooning his sharter boyfriend.
“We aren’t done, but a nap sounds nice.” Kelly whispers into his ear.
******
The OSU against U of M rivalry game is an event. This year it is being held in Michigan. Both of them are bundled up and excited for the game. They have been teasing each other all week, in the lead up to the game. Kelly yells along with OSU fans doing their cheers, making the “O” with his hands. Em is a bit more reserved but stills cheers and boos at plays. Michigan wins with a Hail Mary pass in the final minutes of the game for an upset. 
Kelly is resigned to his fate of wearing Michigan. Em chooses a navy shirt with a big glittery, yellow ‘M’ on it, along with one of his favorite U on M, zip up hoodies. He treats Kelly to lunch, and makes sure to get some photos. They also head into the studio to get some work done, where Rook gives Kelly shit for his clothes. Once they finished up, Em and Kelly headed back, for the rest of their evening. 
“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Kelly asks as he gets into Em’s car.
“A nice night in. An early dinner. I’m having food delivered and we’ll go on from there.” Em responds before starting the engine, and heads home.
Em has ordered a nice Italian meal for the two. Afterwards the two settle on the couch. Kelly has his head in Em’s lap, as Em runs his fingers through his hair. Kelly is relaxed and stated. After about 30 minutes Em nudges him. 
“Hmm”-K
“Why don’t you go to the bedroom, there is a present for you, on the bed.”- E
Kelly gets up slowly and heads to the bedroom, where three nice boxes, tied with ribbon sit waiting for him. He grabs the first box, the smallest of the three, unties the silk ribbon, and lifts the lid. Inside the box a pair of silk, soft boy shorts and a pair of white, cotton, thigh high socks with two navy rings at the top. The socks felt so nice in Kelly’s fingers, he blushed thinking about them on his legs. The second box he opened has a pair of pure  white tennis shoes. Kelly was starting to wonder where this was going. He pulled the ribbon on the final box, letting it fall to the side. He lifts the lid, then closes it, and lifts it again to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. He wasn’t. Inside the final box was a long sleeve yellow crop top, with a large letter M on it, and a short navy skirt. It was a University of Michigan cheerleader outfit, in his size. Eminem wanted him to dress up and be his own personal cheerleader, for the evening. 
Em is relaxing on the couch, wondering if Kelly was going to wear the outfit, when he hears soft footsteps behind him. It’s Kells, in the University of Michigan cheerleader uniform, and he looks stunning. 
“So what do you think?” Kelly asks.
Em is speechless. Kelly looks stunning. The top fits perfectly, showing off his midriff, letting Em enjoy his toned stomach. The skirt hugs his hips and upper thighs; Em bets it accentuates the younger rappers ass beautifully. The thigh high socks soften Kelly’s legs, and he white tennis shoes are the perfect touch to the outfit.
After a moment Em speaks. “You look good.” 
Kelly can’t stop blushing, as he spins for Em, so he can see the whole outfit.
“I always wanted my own personal cheerleader. 
18 notes · View notes
wonk-ass-willy · 4 years ago
Text
A NEW THING BY WONK-ASS PRODUCTIONS! ITS UNFORTUNATE SUPERHERO NAMES!!!!!!
Kink shame lad
Erectile dysfunction man
Butt stuff girl
Voted for trump but lied about it later woman
The incredible doctor dysentery
Capitan cock tease
The amaseing lactating man
The super sharter
the guy with a jar of pickles where his head should be man
Collateral damage girl
Microdong man
Frank, the amaseing guy with a gun
Commander 3 nipples
Capitan furry fetish
3 notes · View notes
uglypaw · 5 years ago
Text
imagine being a chihuahua and experiencing the soul shartering orgasm that is getting your ass scratched
30 notes · View notes
best-ghoul · 5 years ago
Text
genoshatourguide: I get most of this but whats the benefit of 15 dollars an hour when you could deposit it lump sum?
Mostly that I, first and foremost, don’t trust my stupid ass, opening up a banking app and seeing $4,000,000, to not to buy a replica of one of the bikes from Akira despite the fact that I do not own a motorcycle license, and am, in fact, not that into bikes or Akira. It’s a budgetary measure. Limiting myself retains the integrity of the charity-sharter, too; I want to do good, but pretending I’m batman is a good way to ensure I’m broke in 6 months.
15 bucks an hour is a humble, if livable wage, and even if someone asks me for money and I don’t want to shitpost at them, I can say how much I’ve got honestly, since there’s probably a stipulation that my accountant can tase me if I ask for the funds for something unrelated to pressing concerns.
1 note · View note
honeyroastedpeanus · 3 years ago
Text
ppl talking about hating jkr like yes she sucks balls ass nuts and we all need to collectively shit on harry sharter so ppl stop supporting her but make sure yall arent talking So Much that it gives her more publicity .... like attention is still attention the best way to get rid of her is to give her like 0 attention whatsoever like forget her and all of her work exists.. but ofc thats super hard since harry pote is fucking everywhere awrgrhrgrgrhr
0 notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The last part of the Shartered ass experience, this was really fun to write and also get some friends to do profiles for
35 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
back for more I have no commentary there is no thought when I make these its just collection of nonsense. but i did get a friend to guest write the bios from now it, it's very fun!
16 notes · View notes