#Sharing disparate views

[brittlebutch]

one of the many reasons Aabria is such a good GM is because of the very keen eye she keeps on the social dynamics and interactions that happens at the table and i absolutely Love her for it

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

hey! I'm pretty new to your stories: currently reading curse words and loving it! (I started the first book with the mindset that I wouldn't be caught enough to miss some real life stuff because of reading... guess what, I missed some real life stuff reading.)

but now I have a question: the books have a pretty intricate plot with a lot of good payoffs for small things. which is very cool from a reader's point of view, but from the writer's one— can you maybe share some stuff about your process? especially in the early stages, how do you go from the initial spark of an idea and what this is about to a fully formed plot? would be cool if you're willing to share

anyway have a great day I'm off to start the third book hehe!

One thing to know about me is that I have just the worst possible imagination. Absolute pisspoor garbage imagination, nothing going on up there. When I want to plot, my process is simple:

Find a problem, then solve it.

Curse Words was born of several disparate story ideas coming together, but mostly I wanted to play with the magic system -- I wanted to write a story where spells were metaphysical parasites that possessed mages, and each mage could only cast their unique spell. The whole thing came about when reading The Princess Bride, specifically the chapter where Buttercup dreams of being a perfect baby and the doctor looking her over and regretfully informing her parents that she was born with mo heart -- I was possessed with this powerful impression of a slightly wacky doctor peering over the top of his rose tinted glasses to inform a pair of parents that their baby had a curse trapped in her heart. From there, it's find the problem, solve the problem.

I wanted to separate Kayden from his family and put him in an unfamiliar environment for the story so that he and the audience would be on a pretty similar level re: world information; isolated magic and a magic school is the easy way to do that. Okay, so why is this school isolated? Why is the curse thing not common knowledge? Why do the public fear curses and have such limited access to magic that it's not a part of Kayden's day-to-day, if it's so useful? Solve the problem; look at the economy. The unique nature of spells makes them difficult to scale up, and the unpredictable nature makes them inferior to technological solutions to problems in most large-scale issues. What does this say about how the Industrial Revolution would've affected the usefulness, and therefore the public perception, of magic? The logical conclusion is the Purity Revolution.

This school is gathering and teaching all these students; why? I wanted a clear division between witches like Kayden and a privileged elite that formed most of the school body; why are they different, how are the elite kids here, why are witches accepted and integrated into the student body? Solve the problem; look at the economy, the politics. Where are these rich kids getting their magic? Why pull in witches? One question answers the other. Why didn't Kayden and Kylie know that curses were spells in advance? Seems something that should be common knowledge. Look at the politics; tie that in. Logical conclusion: magic trap. We have this magic lake with a monster in it that we introduced super early for dramatic purposes and haven't explained yet. What can we do with that? Let's invent empowered water. Let's look at what that means for the creation of potions worldwide. Let's tie in the management of unmanageable spells. Let's elaborate on the structure our magic trap.

Now we have a channel of power. Curses parasitise witches; some are blessings, some are more trouble than they're worth. The school collects curses, domesticates them, makes them more useful, locks away or renders harmless that which it cannot make use of. More curses are collected over time, the school grows and grows and Refujeyo becomes stronger and stronger as they control more of the world's magic supply, but every system has a capacity. What's the effect of this infinite growth? Here we have a clear and unavoidable economic metaphor, so obvious that not centreing the story on this concept would basically be dishonest. Who's managing this collection, what does it say about the power of the school within mage society? How would such a school relate to the rest of Refujeyo; how would Refujeyo, collecting power like this, relate to and be viewed by other magical traditions, and by nonmagical society? Run through the reasoning, solve the problem.

Why would the school only approach Kayden as a teenager, after his curse caused problems? Surely the school would want to collect as many curses as if could as early as possible. There has to be a reason why they waited. This is a good one because it flows directly from the complex political relationships between Refujeyo and commonfolk politics that have to exist, AND ties neatly into critical character motivations that have to exist for book 1's main twist to function (notably, Malas Aksoy's actions). Sort this out for book 1 and accidentally create a critical political point for the rest of the entire series.

I started writing book 1 with the idea of the court case and subsequent twist about Kayden's curse being the big mystery, but Kayden still needs something to actually do at school. We have this mage who we threw in to rescue Kayden and Kylie from the lake, and had Max hero worship her for flavour; she seems to be becoming central to a lot of interactions for some reason. A lot of dramatic stuff is therefore automatically happening in her presence, but why is this incredibly accomplished and intelligent mage fucking up so much? We've established her as careful and thorough. We need a reason for all these accidents beyond random chance. Someone's sabotaging her -- why? Let's look at our established characters and figure out who has means and motive, and who the most fun red herrings would be.

How could a place like Refujeyo, such a complex and time-consuming project that would have to involve the cooperation of so very many mages, even get built? How would it survive long enough to be powerful? When and where did this happen? We've already established the Purity Revolution; maybe there was something more coordinated than just random undirected economic forces. We've established some incredibly powerful mage families and the old system of apprenticeship and inheritance; we know that the most powerful family in Refujeyo used to have a prophecy and owned a very powerful place that helps prophecies specifically. They could coordinate something, given enough motivation and the help of enough other powerful mages. What kind of motivation? Let's go back to the Purity Revolution. If tech develops alongside magic without central oversight of some kind, what could magic enhance? What problems could be foreseen that would make this kind of investment worth it? How does Refujeyo save the world?

Tie this into our power channel. Refujeyo's attempt to save the world endangers the world due to infinite growth and power being passively collected by those who benefit from the dangerous status quo. It fits our economy metaphor, because they're essentially the same thing, just putting in magic instead of money as a means of power.

Find a problem, then solve it.

The important thing with this method is to keep your solutions cohesive. If you come up with a new different reason for every thing, your plot will look scattered and disorganised. We don't want to look like we're just pulling the story out of our arse. I mean, we are pulling the story out of our arse, that's what writing fiction is, but it's a big part of our job to help our audience suspend their disbelief on that. Whenever possible, you should look for answers that solve multiple things and weave disparate parts of the story together; this is especially true when they relate to the core plot or central theme of your story.

Also, leave gaps for reader inference. You don't have to answer every single question, you just need to make sure that some plausible answer exists for every single question. Sometimes this involves saying less, not more, and letting the audience figure it out.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Dystopia

How to Research Your Dystopian Novel

Basic Features of a Dystopian Story

Takes place in the future (although it could be an alternate history, too)

Features a huge disparity between the haves and the have nots (or thrusts everyone into abject poverty and survival mode)

Has an oppressive government (but, on the flipside, there could be apocalyptic anarchy and the oppressive element could be the possibly of death at every turn, i.e. The Road by Cormac McCarthy)

Features society’s complete reliance on government (or, in the absence of government, every individual must fend for himself)

Includes an enforced groupthink consciousness (individuals are obligated to think like everyone else and accept propaganda or they are punished)

Limits information and individual freedom

In a dystopian world, the villains are in control.

Evil triumphs over good, at least in the beginning…and the middle.

Perhaps, by the end of the story, there is a spark of hope, but even that may be ambiguous and up for interpretation.

A dystopian novel is definitely not a feel-good fairy tale. It’s one that’s rife with struggle (both internal and external), and often features martyrdom.

All dystopian novels, the good ones anyway, share a sense of crushing hopelessness that, perhaps even the protagonist can’t combat.

For these reasons, a dystopian story is most effective when you focus on the theme, and then use that theme to draw parallels to the reader’s present. Orwell was a master at it.

Give Thought to Your Theme

The theme of a story is its big idea.

In a dystopian novel, the theme is usually one of the following:

Oppression

Repression

Control

Rebellion

Survival

What is the idea that you’re trying to convey in your story?

What sort of statement or observation are you making about society?

EXAMPLES

If your novel tackles the idea of an oppressive government, research oppressive governments of the past and present.

What are some real life ideas that you can incorporate into your dystopian world to emphasize your theme?

To examine how low humanity can sink under the fist of an oppressive government, start studying Nazi Europe and the Khmer Rouge killing fields of Cambodia.

When you look at these shameful times in our human history, pay attention to how these regimes came to power, and how they maintained power.

On the other hand, if your novel tackles rebellion, start studying the Nat Turner slave rebellion of 1831 or the storming of the Bastille of 1789.

Make special note of what caused these rebellions, and also consider the experiences from both sides (the rebel and the rebelled against).

When you settle on a theme, pull examples from real history to create a stronger narrative.

Create Realistic Characters

Your dystopian novel should feature a cast of compelling characters.

The protagonist should be relatable, but never perfect.

The antagonist may be evil, but never one-sided.

When you’re creating and fleshing out your characters, take time to consider how they view their society.

EXAMPLES

Your protagonist was born into the dystopia, and has no other reference point, so he accepts it without question.

Or maybe your protagonist had a life before the events that created your dystopia, and mourns for it.

You’ll need to research your characters.

Understand each character's backstory.

What history do they carry with them into your story?

Sure, you’re researching “fictional” characters, but it’s still a real process, and a necessary one if you want to create a rounded, consistent character.

It may be a good idea to "interview" your characters. A few questions to ask include:

How do you feel about your society and why?

Who do you trust and why?

What rules do you like and why?

What rules do you hate and why?

While it may feel silly, remember that the interview is confidential.

Only you and the character have to know.

This information may or may not make it onto the pages of your novel, but it will help you shape the motivations of your characters.

Remember that these characters aren’t transplants from our time and world-- they live and shape the world of your novel, and won’t always have the same mindset as your reader. The characters should act according to their own logic.

Lay Down the Law

What laws does your dystopian society abide by?

Even in the most anarchic worlds, there are rules--even if these rules forged and followed by just your protagonist alone.

But, if your dystopian novel deals with an oppressive government, they’ll definitely be a ton of rules that society must follow.

What are they? How should you create them?

Consider the following:

Study the laws of both totalitarian governments and police states

Make a list of the laws that keeps the ruling elite in power

Make a list of punishments for not keeping the law

From caste systems to cannibalism, you’ll find an exhaustive list of ways that the ruling class has preserved the power balance in their favor.

How can you implement these rules and their consequences into your novel?

Also, decide on the method of control.

How does the antagonist exert control over the protagonist? (Can be a government or an oppressive element like diminishing resources).

Is it through propaganda?

Is it through police raids?

Is it through poverty?

Finding Ideas for Your Dystopian Novel

Stumped and not sure how to find ideas for your dystopian novel? Turn on the news. We’re basically living in a dystopian landscape anyway.

What stories grab you? What do you care about?

Child slavery, privacy, the environment, lack of resources, immigration?

Exploit that idea by setting your story 50 or 100 years into the future.

What’s the inevitable (or probable) end of this idea?

This can serve as the basis of your story.

Remember to Build the World

World building is particularly crucial in a dystopian novel.

In your dystopian novel, you’re introducing a completely new world that the reader isn’t familiar with.

What does the world look like? Are there mountains and mist? Is the world dull and gray? Is it a dense, green jungle?

What caused the world to look like it does? Was it an earthquake, a war, a robot apocalypse?

What resources are limited? Sunlight? Water? Food?

Don’t just focus on one small part of the world:

The reader should have a sense of what’s happening throughout your dystopian landscape.

For a dystopian novel, world-building must come from your rich imagination.

That’s because this world doesn’t exist yet and definitely doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. But, this doesn’t mean you can’t research your world’s landscape.

Example: If your novel takes place in a desert, you can research deserts to learn more about the people who live in that environment, including what they wear, what they eat, and how they survive the harsh conditions.

Read Other Dystopian Novels

Finally, familiarize yourself with the very books that define the dystopian genre.

By reading and researching these books, you’ll have a better understanding of what your reader is hoping for when they read your dystopian novel.

When you read the following dystopian novels, do so with an analytical eye. Critique it:

What worked? What didn’t work? How would you change it? How was the pacing? What was the theme? What motifs did the author use to convey the theme?

Source ⚜ Writing Notes & References ⚜ Hate ⚜ Worksheet: Dystopian World More References: Worldbuilding ⚜ Plot ⚜ Character ⚜ 100 Sensory Words

[transmutationisms]

these tags annoyed me to be honest

1. PCOS is a bad point of comparison because despite the name, diagnosis is not *supposed to be* done on the primary basis of finding cysts in the ovaries; these are common and not inherently of concern. instead, the more indicative biomarker is the hormone test (high levels of testosterone *throughout the menstrual period*, with corresponding disruption to the expected/typical fluctuations in estrogen/progesterone) but often diagnosis is done more on the basis of a physical exam ('exam') confirming characteristics such as hairiness or adiposity. this absolutely DOES result in PCOS overdiagnosis for some demographics; while a real biological condition, PCOS is also a load-bearing diagnostic term in the enforcement of very specific standards of (white) femininity and its use also frequently masks, for example, the frequency of hypothalamic amenorrhea (HA) secondary to chronic energy deficiency (as in anorexia), which doctors are loathe to diagnose because they view weight loss as prima facie good

2. the reason it matters that psychiatric diagnoses do not have a 'biology' is not because every disease must have a single specific biomarker; it is correct that some do not. however, the way patient complaints are sifted into categories labelled 'psychiatric' versus '(otherwise) medical' begins essentially with determining whether the distress is 'physical' or 'mental'. in other words, in the case of, say, the chronic fatigue syndrome (famously, lacking a known specific biomarker), the symptoms being investigated by the non-psychiatrist physician are still physical (PEM; mast cell dysregulation; pain; etc) whereas a diagnosis of depression may be accompanied by, but requires no, physical symptoms or presentation. the psychiatric claim that its diagnoses have biological causes and correlates is specifically a claim about the role of neurobiology in the causation of affective states; thus, the comparison to physical complaints is meaningless here

3. this person goes on to claim that depressives do in fact share, though not universally, certain biomarkers such as mitochondrial dysregulations. such claims typically come from various imaging studies plagued with systemic problems in the selection and definition of patient populations as well as the subjectivity of result interpretation and analysis. these claims are not well supported and typically rely on circular selection and definition of patient populations

4. speaking philosophically, it is in fact often correct to challenge the notion that a physical 'disease' chronically lacking a specific biomarker is indeed a disease, in any sense besides the colloquial one. that is, diseases that cannot be correlated with one cause or presentation are often better understood as 'syndromes', which is to say, as a taxonomical heuristic that is likely grouping together multiple disparate physical (anatomical, physiological, functional, &c) problems with multiple disparate causes. this is almost certainly the case for chronic fatigue syndrome, for example. this is a philosophical distinction that matters for research and understanding, and does not mean or imply anything to minimise or contradict the patient experience of the syndrome or symptoms. it matters because, for instance, CFS triggered by the epstein-barr virus may indeed turn out to have different disease mechanisms to CFS triggered by, say, covid-19, or may have different specific mechanisms when running in certain families, and so on. distinguishing these much more specific presentations, and possibly distinct diseases, from the current discursive schema of the overlying syndrome is potentially very good for patients, who likely have different needs and treatments to one another despite currently all sharing the same label in their charts

5. which goes back to an overlying point, which is that (despite frequent defensiveness to the contrary), whether or not something is a disease does not inherently tell us anything about its reality, its severity, its cause, the moral status of its sufferers, &c

[warabidakihime]

Rules and Roses Chapter 5

★ characters: kibutsuji muzan x reader x akaza

★ plot summary: Kibutsuji Muzan has finally decided to expand his empire, and the way he intends to do so is by running for the highest political position. With you, his darling wife, at his side, he believes he can achieve and have everything the world has to offer. He is, after all, the Phoenix of Phario.

★ fic playlist: sometimes, same day, as time stops, wolf’s song (this is also the vision board for the fic). 

★ content warnings : implied violence, self-harm and abuse, profanities, toxic relationships, smut.

★ Previous Chapter

a/n:

i MIGHT have indulged this chapter ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

and i most definitely had a change of heart as to where this story will go ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა

as always, comments are always welcomes and super appreciated!

-

"Good day, Azudellin! Thank you so much for the warm hospitality you bestowed upon us. It's truly an honor to stand before you today in this beautiful province, surrounded by such a passionate and vibrant community."

Muzan said proudly as he stood at the stage with the rest of his political party sitting just behind him, who were also gazing at the huge crowd that gathered today in the city proper to attend the party's town hall. He stood there with a dashing smile on his face, patiently waiting for the applause and cheers to subside before speaking again.

Meanwhile, you were sitting in the front row, mirroring your husband's smile as you listened intently to his speech. For a brief moment, he turned to you, and a giggle slipped through your lips as you witnessed his smile getting bigger. 

"Good luck," you mouthed to him, to which he subtly and cleverly responded with a wink before turning to the vast crowd once again.

"I’ve traveled far and wide across our great nation, but each time I come here, I am reminded of what makes our country truly special. It’s the people—the heart and soul of our nation. And tonight, I want to speak to you not just as a presidential candidate, but as someone who deeply believes in the potential of every single person here."

Since you were at a fairly far place from home and currently a part of a really huge crowd, Muzan took it upon himself to double up the security in the vicinity, not just for your safety but for everybody's as well. Not that he has enemies (he's aware of) that are out to get him; it's just that elections in general are a time where anything can happen, and so it's still better to be safe than sorry. 

Akaza and Kokushibo are standing on each side of the stage upfront so that they have a fish-eye view of the whole venue, and god forbid something happens. Your two most trusted allies are just a few feet away from the both of you.

"I’ve heard your voices, your concerns, and your dreams. From the stories shared with me in the fields, to the struggles faced by our small businesses, to the aspirations of our young people yearning for a brighter future—your voices have been a guiding light for my campaign.

Azudellin is a province rich in history and potential. But like many places, you’ve faced challenges—economic downturns, educational disparities, and the need for better infrastructure. I know that these challenges are not just statistics; they are real issues that affect your daily lives. And I am here to tell you that change is not just a possibility—it is a certainty if we work together."

As your husband got into his speech, his passion for his cause was evident in his face, and the crowd started to clap for him. Some of them even stood out and cheered loudly for him. Chills went down your spine as the cheers got louder and louder.

Then, Muzan raised his hand to calm the applause and cheers, despite feeling elated at their passionate support for him. His smile never left his face as he continued his speech, his voice laced with passion and strong will.

"Thank you. We must remember that real change begins at the grassroots level. It begins with our children having access to quality education, with our farmers getting the support they need, and with every worker having a fair opportunity to succeed.

When I think about Azudellin, I think about resilience. I think about the community spirit that binds you all together. It’s in the way you come together to support each other during tough times and how you celebrate each other’s successes. That spirit is what will drive our nation forward."

The crowd broke out into another round of cheers and applause, and this time, you were cheering with them. You stood up proudly and gave your husband a warm round of applause. Your eyes were slightly misty because you were also incredibly moved by Muzan's speech. So much pride surged within your veins as you continued to watch him in awe. You were so damn proud of the man he's become all through the years. 

Images from the past flashed through your mind when you and Muzan were still in college. You could still remember how his eyes would twinkle each time he would share his dream to you and how much his voice carried so much hope. 

From the stage, Muzan saw you wiping your tears. You were so immersed in your little trip down memory lane that you couldn't help but get emotional. His eyes and overall expression softened, while his heart swelled with so much joy that he himself was this close to getting emotional himself. And the cheering crowd wasn't helping; they kept getting louder and louder as the seconds went by.

Once again, he raised his hand to calm everyone down, taking a deep breath to ground himself before facing the crowd again.

"I see the hope in your eyes, and I feel the determination in your hearts. This election is not about one person; it’s about all of us. It’s about what we can achieve together. Every vote you cast, every voice you raise, every action you take—it all contributes to shaping the future of our province and our nation.

I promise you this: I will not be a president who stands apart from you. I will stand with you, listen to you, and fight for you. Together, we will build a future where no one is left behind, where opportunity is abundant, and where our values of unity and compassion guide every decision we make."

From his post, Akaza glanced subtly at Muzan, who's clearly reveling in the love and support he's getting. Then he looked at the crowd; everybody was now on their feet, applauding loudly and chanting his name. Akaza couldn't help but feel immensely impressed by his boss' charisma and command on stage. It's like it was written in the sky that Muzan was born to be on stage. Born to be in the spotlight.

At this point, Muzan couldn't help but flash everybody with the biggest smile he has ever worn in front of everybody, but to you, that was a smile you'd fallen in love with twelve years ago. You already saw that smile a bunch of times. From the day you said yes to him when he was courting you, the day you celebrated your first anniversary, when you said yes to his proposal, and when the priest announced you as husband and wife.

'Hakuji Soyama x L/N Y/N - Just got engaged! (03/03/2015)'

As that flashed in your mind, you stopped dead in your tracks. It has been a few days since that day, and sadly, it has continued to haunt you. From time to time, either the photo or the words scribbled at the back would flash in your mind, making you rather uneasy and agitated. As much as you wanted to deny it, it was clear as day as to who you saw in that photo.

"Thank you, Azudellin. Your spirit has filled me with renewed strength and conviction. Let us walk this path together, with hope in our hearts and determination in our souls. The future is ours to build, and I believe with all my heart that we will build it together.

Thank you, and may we continue to forge ahead with courage and unity!"

As Muzan finished his speech strongly, the crowd erupted into cheers and applause once again, many of them even coming forward to shake hands with him and express their utmost support for him. The loud cheers woke you up from your stupor. Looking up, you saw your beloved husband get showered with so much love and support. Meanwhile, Akaza and Kokushibo were doing their best to do crowd control.

At that moment, your eyes darted from your husband to your personal bodyguard multiple times before Muzan's voice called out to you. From his point of view, you must be feeling quite overwhelmed given that there's a high volume of people walking and running from all sides, and so he took it upon himself to call you to him, but the loud crowd made it impossible for you to hear him.

"Madam," Akaza said while reaching out to you to guide you to Muzan. 

You gingerly took his hand and let him guide you away from the roaring crowd. Akaza couldn't help but frown a little upon seeing the rather unusual look on your face. He knows you tend to get overwhelmed with crowds, but he can't help but assume that something else is plaguing your mind.

Muzan shared his sentiment as well, and so he called out to Akaza, "Escort her inside! I'll be right there." 

Akaza bowed and uttered a 'yes, sir.' before proceeding to guide you out of harm's way. 

"Are you okay? Do you need something?" Akaza asked you while you took a seat.

You smiled sheepishly and said, "A glass of water would be nice."

Akaza nodded politely and excused himself so he could fetch you your drink. While waiting, Muzan emerged from the door along with his political party. You could hear the noise from outside subsiding, which meant the people were gradually leaving now that the townhall was over.

Muzan immediately went to you, kneeling in front of you while wearing a worried expression on his face.

"Hey, darling, are you okay?" he said, one of his hands cupping one side of your face and his thumb caressing your cheeks tenderly as he tends to you.

You nodded and smiled fondly at your husband.

"I'm fine. I was just a bit overwhelmed earlier. You did a little too well back there with your speech that everybody was on their toes shouting their hearts for you," you joked.

Muzan snorted and chuckled at your joke, "Did I?"

"Mhm. Show off~" 

Your husband smirked at your joke, pinching your cheek playfully as he replied, "How can I make it up to you then?" 

"Madam, your water," Akaza said, unknowingly disrupting your sweet moment with your husband. You gratefully took the water bottle and mouthed a thank you; meanwhile, Muzan got up and sat next to you. 

After taking a swig of your drink, you turned to Muzan and said, "Since it would take us six hours to get back to Areswood, can we stay the night here, my love?" 

"Hm? Sure. I don't see why not."

Smiling gratefully at this, you leaned forward and gave your husband a peck on the lips, to which Muzan audaciously chased after your lips when you pulled away and captured them again for another sweet kiss.

"I was also hoping we could go on a date with just the two of us, like without Akaza or Kokushibo tailing behind us." 

Muzan was slightly taken aback by your request; his face was rather unreadable. There were a lot of things racing in his mind, mostly your safety, but you woke him up from his stupor when you pressed on, "Please?" 

After a few seconds of you doing your damnedest to give your husband the cute puppy face, he yielded. A fond smile danced on Muzan's lips as he looked pointedly at you.

"Your wish is my command."

You broke out into a huge smile and tackled your husband into a tight hug, almost pressing your whole body against his, totally not caring people were around.

"You're the best!" you exclaimed, to which Muzan responded with a fond laugh as he reciprocated your hug with just as much passion. 

He then placed a kiss on top of your head before pulling away from the hug to face both Akaza and Kokushibo. As much as he wanted to revert back to his stoic self, the smile that was tugging at the corners of his lip was winning, as you and the townhall had put him in such a good mood. 

"Tomorrow, have the day off. Azudellin is vastly big, so take the opportunity to roam around. I'll give you some pocket money. Just have your phones open just in case of emergencies."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Both Akaza and Kokushibo responded politely.

Muzan nodded. "We're done here, so have the car ready so we can all return back to the hotel."

He was met with another chorus of 'Yes, sir.' before the two of them hurried back to the parking lot to get the car ready to escort you back to the hotel. 

Muzan watched as Akaza and Kokushibo walked off. When they opened the door, the two of you noticed that the noise from outside had completely died down and the ambiance in the entire place had become more peaceful.

With a soft sigh of contentment, Muzan turned his attention back to you.

"Ready to go?" 

You nodded happily and said, "Yes."

As you both stood up, ready to leave the venue, Muzan placed a protective arm around you. "I must admit, I am looking forward to our date. Thinking about it now, it really has been a while since we last went on a proper one, no?"

You nodded in agreement, letting Muzan guide you through the now-thinning crowd. Akaza and Kokushibo were already waiting by the car, the vehicle's engine rumbling softly in anticipation of the journey ahead.

While walking side by side, you gave his waist a loving squeeze and even stopped him for a moment to give him another kiss on the lips, and your husband immediately picked up on the longing that lingered in the sweet gesture. 

"It really has. To say that I've been missing you is an understatement, to be quite honest."

Before stepping into the car, Muzan glanced at you one last time, his expression a mix of excitement and tenderness. "I feel the same way, Y/N."

"Let's make the most of our free time here, hm?"

"Of course, and I'll also see to it that we go on dates as much as we can when we get back home."

You smiled at this, clearly happy and thankful for Muzan's thoughtfulness. You really are the luckiest woman in the world. 

"I'd love that."

With that, Muzan opened the car door for you, and as you both settled inside, he turned to Akaza and Kokushibo. "Take us to the hotel, please. And remember, enjoy the day off. I trust you’ll keep things under control."

"Understood, sir," Akaza responded as he slid into the driver's seat, and Kokushibo took the front passenger seat.

As the car began to move, you turned to Muzan, your eyes shining with pride. "Your speech today was incredible, my love. You really have a way of connecting with people. I could see how moved everyone was."

Muzan smiled, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. "Thank you, darling. It means a lot to hear that from you. I put my heart into that speech, hoping to reach everyone in the crowd."

"You did more than reach them," you said softly. "You inspired them. I’ve never been prouder of you. Seeing you up there, speaking with such passion and conviction... it reminded me of why I fell in love with you."

Muzan's eyes softened, and he leaned in to kiss your forehead. "I’m glad I could make you proud. Your support means everything to me. I couldn’t do any of this without you by my side."

You blushed at his words, feeling the sincerity behind them. "I’ll always be here for you, Muzan. No matter what."

The car glided smoothly through the evening, and Muzan couldn’t help but glance at you with a satisfied smile.

"Tonight, let's celebrate. Not just the success of the town hall, but us—our partnership, our love. I promise, tonight will be special."

You smiled back at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest.

"I’m looking forward to it."

From the driver's seat, Akaza's eyes remained focused on the road, but a faint smile was dancing on his lips, but it immediately disappeared the moment he realized what he was doing. 

But he couldn't help it.

He couldn't stop himself from feeling genuinely happy for you at this very moment. And he couldn't help but feel admiration for the man he swore was the bane of his and your existence.

He bit his lips as he continued to drive back to the hotel. On the outside, he remained stoic, but from within, in the depths of his heart, he feels incredibly conflicted. 

"Akaza, what's wrong?" Muzan asked from the backseat. It was dark in the car, so no one could see how piercing his gaze was.

Akaza merely shook his head, not wanting to lose focus on his driving. "Nothing, sir."

Muzan's eyes narrowed slightly, his intuition telling him otherwise. "Are you sure?"

Akaza shook his head rather sheepishly.

"It's just... I noticed Madam seemed a bit off earlier. I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Muzan glanced at you, his expression softening as he saw the concern in Akaza's eyes.

"She was a bit overwhelmed, but she's fine now. You know how these events can be."

Akaza nodded in agreement.

"Of course, sir. I just wanted to be sure. We can't afford any mistakes."

Muzan's gaze softened a bit as he saw the genuine concern in Akaza's eyes. "Your vigilance is appreciated, Akaza. But sometimes, it's just the weight of the moment. Thank you for looking out for her."

Akaza relaxed slightly at Muzan's reassurance.

"Understood, sir. I'll keep a close watch."

Kokushibo, who had been silent until now, chimed in from the passenger seat. "Akaza's right to be cautious, but I agree with you, sir. It seemed like a momentary lapse. We have everything under control."

Muzan nodded, feeling more at ease. "Very well. Let's focus on getting to the hotel. We all need some rest after today."

As the car continued its smooth journey, Muzan squeezed your hand gently, offering you a reassuring smile. "We're almost there, darling. Just a bit longer."

You smiled back.

"Thank you, Muzan. And thank you, Akaza. I appreciate your concern."

Akaza glanced at you through the rearview mirror, his expression softening. "You're welcome, Madam."

The car finally pulled up to the hotel, and as you stepped out, Muzan wrapped an arm around your shoulders, guiding you inside. Akaza and Kokushibo followed closely, their watchful eyes ensuring your safety.

Once inside your suite, Muzan turned to you with a tender smile.

"Now, let's enjoy our evening and tomorrow. Just you and me."

You nodded, feeling the stress of the day melt away.

"I couldn't ask for anything more."

*

The date was fantastic.

Azudellin was a feast for the senses. Grand, old structures lined the streets, their intricate carvings whispering tales of Phario's glorious past. You and Muzan, both art lovers, wandered hand-in-hand, marveling at the architecture.

At one point, a group of tourists recognized you, but instead of rushing over, they gave a polite nod and a smile, respecting your privacy. You sent them a grateful smile in return.

The bustling market was your next stop. Unlike the grandeur of the historical sites, the market was a riot of colors, sounds, and smells. The air hung heavy with the aroma of spices and sizzling meat. Muzan chuckled as you excitedly dove into the throng, bargaining for souvenirs.

You emerged with a delightful mix of treasures: a hand-painted fan for Kokushibo, a woven scarf for Akaza, some trinkets for the maids and guards back at home, and of course, presents for your friends as well.

"Don't forget about me," Muzan teased, his voice warm.

You winked. "Of course not."

Your fingers brushed against a rack of clothes, and then you spotted it—a button-down shirt made from a fabric that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. It was a perfect shade of blue, and you knew exactly who it would look good on.

Muzan slipped the top on, and your breath hitched. The rich blue brought out the vibrant contrast with his scarlet eyes, and the fabric skimmed his toned physique. 

A blush crept up your cheeks as you stammered, "It looks amazing! Absolutely perfect."

Muzan's lips curled into a satisfied smirk. He struck a pose, eliciting a giggle from you. The rest of the afternoon was spent exploring hidden alleys and sharing stolen kisses, the joy of the day bubbling over in every interaction.

Dinner was the perfect ending to a perfect day.

The restaurant, renowned for its seafood, boasted a breathtaking view of the Azudellin coastline. As you savored the melt-in-your-mouth fish and the tangy local salad, you couldn't help but steal glances at Muzan across the table.

Gratitude filled your heart for this man, who brought so much love and laughter into your life.

The fairy lights strung across the restaurant balcony twinkled like captured stars, casting a warm glow over the table. The gentle sea breeze carried the murmur of waves and the scent of salt, creating a serenely romantic atmosphere.

You took a sip of your mango iced tea, letting the cool sweetness dance on your tongue.

"This has been such a fantastic day," you said, leaning back in your chair with a contented sigh. "Azudellin is simply amazing."

Muzan, seated across from you, mirrored your smile. His warm, scarlet eyes sparkled with genuine affection. "Absolutely," he agreed, taking a slow bite of his fish. "Though the scenery pales in comparison to the beautiful sight before me."

A blush crept up your cheeks at his unexpected compliment. "Muzan," you chided playfully, "you always know what to say."

He chuckled, making a rich, rumbling sound. "Flattery? No, sweetheart. It's the truth. Seeing you so happy and so engaged with everything today...it brings me a joy I never thought possible."

His words sent a thrill through you. It wasn't every day that Muzan, a man known for his sharp intellect and driven nature, spoke so openly about his emotions, but then again, behind closed doors, you always see this side of him, but even then, when he speaks from his heart, it never fails to sweep you off of your feet.

You reached across the table, your fingers intertwining with his. "Me too, Muzan. I wouldn't have wanted to spend this day with anyone else."

A comfortable silence settled between you for a moment, punctuated only by the soft clinking of silverware.

"Remember that little market stall overflowing with fans?" you asked, a smile tugging at your lips. "I almost forgot how much you struggled with the heat."

Muzan's lips twitched. "An astute observation, my love. Although witnessing your bargaining prowess was...interesting, to say the least."

You laughed, the sound tinkling like windchimes.

"Oh, come on now, it wasn't that bad! Besides, you can't deny the satisfaction of getting a good deal."

"Perhaps," he conceded, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. "Though, I daresay the look on that vendor's face when you countered his offer was priceless."

You both dissolved into laughter, the memory of your playful haggling warming the night air. As the laughter subsided, Muzan leaned closer, his voice dropping to a tender whisper.

"You know, Y/N," he began, his scarlet eyes searching yours, "this day has been exactly what I needed. Honestly, it was a brilliant call suggesting this date."

A blush crept up your cheeks. "Really?"

He squeezed your hand, the warmth radiating through you.

"Absolutely. The campaign has been all-consuming lately, and quite honestly, there have been a few times where I felt overwhelmed. As much as I don't want to admit it, but as the day of the election draws closer, I can't help but feel nervous."

His gaze softened further.

"So seeing you so happy and so carefree today... it reminded me why I'm doing all this."

Your heart ached with a mix of joy and a touch of sadness. "I know this election means the world to you, Muzan. It's always been your biggest dream."

A flicker of regret crossed his features. "And it is, darling. But maybe I haven't been as good at showing you just how much you mean to me in all the craziness. These past few weeks, I've missed..." He trailed off, searching for the right words.

Taking a deep breath, you placed your free hand over his. "You've missed us, haven't you?"

You weren't accusing; you were just stating the truth.

A faint smile touched his lips.

"Yes. I've missed us. I've missed these quiet moments, these shared laughs. Truth be told, I've missed you terribly."

His voice softened further, tinged with a hint of apology.

"I know you've been holding back a bit, wanting to be supportive, and for that, I apologize. But please, don't ever feel like you can't tell me how you're feeling, even when things are hectic."

His words washed over you like a wave of relief and understanding, and as cliché as it sounds, you're almost certain you've fallen for him all over again. 

All the wariness and anxiety that damn photo has been giving you these past few days have completely vanished. That old lady must've mistaken you for someone else, and there's also the possibility that the woman in that photo was just someone who resembles you, because you honestly could not picture yourself being in love with someone else. 

Muzan is the love of your life, and he will always be. You've built a life together, filled with shared dreams, laughter, and moments like these that reaffirm your bond. The thought of anyone else simply doesn't fit into the picture of your heart.

You pushed the doubts aside, focusing on the here and now.

The truth was in the way he looked at you, the way he held your hand, and the way he spoke with such sincerity.

Nothing else mattered.

You were certain of your love and of the future you were building together. As you squeezed Muzan's hand a little tighter, you knew that no photograph or fleeting worry could ever shake the foundation of the life you were creating.

You looked at your husband with misty eyes and a huge smile on your face and said, "I love you so much, Muzan."

His expression softened, his thumb gently stroking your hand. "And I love you more than words can express, my love."

With a tender smile, Muzan rose from his seat and walked around the table to stand beside you. He took your hands and gently pulled you to your feet. Under the fairy lights, with the ocean as your backdrop, he wrapped his arms around you, drawing you close.

"Let's make a promise," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear.

You tilted your head back to meet his gaze. "What promise?"

"No matter how busy life gets, no matter what challenges come our way, we'll always make time for moments like this—moments that remind us of why we fell in love in the first place."

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but they were tears of happiness. "I promise," you whispered.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours in a tender, lingering kiss. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble of love and contentment.

When the kiss ended, you rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"Thank you for today, Muzan. I had so much fun."

He held you tighter and mirrored your smile.

"Anything and everything for you, Y/N.”

*

“What did you just say?”

Muzan's voice was dangerously calm as he looked at Akaza, his expression unreadable. But as the words sank in, his face turned sour.

“You're resigning? Why?”

Akaza winced but held his ground.

“No reason in particular, but I’ve been doing some thinking, and I figured it’s time for me to look for other opportunities elsewhere.”

Silence enveloped Muzan’s personal office in your mansion. Your husband stared pointedly at your bodyguard, clearly flabbergasted by the sudden decision to resign from his post. It was all too sudden, and rather... unexpected.

Akaza shared the same sentiment.

He hadn’t planned on resigning anytime soon; he was hellbent on seeing everything through, even if a bitter end awaited him. But after last weekend in Azudellin, an epiphany struck him.

Maybe it was for the best that he stood down and gave up.

He didn’t want to, but seeing you so happy and in love, maybe... Just maybe, it was okay to give you up as long as you were happy.

“I’m not allowing it.”

Muzan’s commanding voice snapped Akaza out of his thoughts. He looked up and finally noticed the fury on Muzan's face.

“We’re in the middle of the election season. You know damn well Y/N’s safety is at stake because of my candidacy, and you know how risky it is to entrust your job to someone else, Akaza. You’re the best at what you do, and you’re the only one I trust to keep her safe.”

“Sir Muzan, I understand, but—”

“No, you don’t understand!”

Muzan's voice rose, echoing through the office.

“You don’t get to walk away just because you’re having second thoughts. Your loyalty is not something you can just toss aside on a whim.”

Akaza took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

“It's not on a whim. I've thought this through. I just—”

“You just what?”

Muzan interrupted, his eyes blazing.

“You think you can just leave and everything will be fine? You think I’ll find someone who can protect her like you do? I demand your commitment, Akaza. And I will not let you walk away when we need you the most.”

Akaza’s resolve wavered under Muzan’s intense gaze. He had never seen his employer this furious. “Sir, I—”

“No!” Muzan’s voice was thunderous now.

“You’re not resigning. You’re not leaving. You will stay, and you will do your job. Because if anything happens to Y/N, it will be on your head. Do you understand me?”

Akaza’s shoulders slumped, the weight of Muzan's words crashing down on him. He couldn't argue with the man because, quite frankly, he did have a very valid point.

Not just you, but Muzan also has a target on his back solely because of the elections, and this is not the time for any big changes, especially with everything so volatile. His resignation could create a significant gap in your security, jeopardizing not only his safety but yours as well.

Any disruption could have far-reaching consequences. 

“I understand, sir,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll stay.”

Muzan’s anger slowly dissipated, but his gaze remained stern.

“I'll let you go once the election is over and only once the coast is clear. But until then, I expect you to do your job and maintain the highest level of vigilance and dedication. ”

Akaza nodded solemnly. “Understood, sir.”

Muzan took a deep breath, his voice softening but still carrying a sharp edge. “I know this isn’t easy for you, and I appreciate your commitment. But I need you to understand that this isn’t just about personal preference. It’s about the safety of everyone involved, especially Y/N.”

Akaza met Muzan’s gaze, feeling the weight of his words. “I get it, sir. I won't let you down."

Muzan nodded, though his expression remained serious.

“Good. Remember, this isn’t just about duty. It’s about trust. I trust you to handle this responsibility, and I expect you to honor that trust.”

Akaza straightened, his resolve returning to his stance. “Yes sir."

As he turned to leave the office, Muzan watched him with a mixture of frustration and reluctant respect. The door clicked softly behind Akaza, and he was left alone with his thoughts.

Muzan sighed deeply, turning back to his desk, though his gaze lingered on the door where Akaza had just exited. The mounting pressure was more than he could handle, and in a moment of frustration, he struck out.

Against his will, the weight of exhaustion and doubt crept into his veins. He had always prided himself on his strength and capability, but the constant pressure of running Obelisk Kibutsuji, combined with the relentless demands of his political campaign, had worn him down.

The accumulated fatigue was making him question his ability to keep everything under control, and Akaza’s sudden resignation attempt pushed him to his breaking point.

It felt like a slap in the face, and Muzan simply couldn’t afford the added stress.

The fatigue was beginning to overwhelm him, while imposter syndrome whispered doubts that he was failing and couldn’t manage the responsibilities tied to his ambitions.

“Ah, this isn’t good,” Muzan said to himself, shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of any unwanted distraction.

But the frustration was too much.

With a surge of anger, he brought his fist down hard on the table, leaving a nasty dent in the furniture and a painful bruise and cut on his knuckles. He winced at the pain, clenching his jaw as he tried to regain his composure. His heart raced, the pain amplifying his frustration, and he felt a moment of regret for not finding a healthier outlet for his emotions.

Just then, you appeared at the doorway, your face etched with concern.

“Hey, are you okay?”

At the sound of your voice, Muzan forced a small smile onto his face, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Your timing always amazed him, even in moments like this. He turned to see you standing there, your worry evident on your face. You gasped as you saw the blood seeping through his clenched fist, your heart sinking.

His gaze fell to his injured hand, still throbbing from the impact.

"You’ve hurt yourself," you said, rushing over to him with a frown. "What happened?"

Muzan tried to downplay it. "I'm fine. It’s nothing. Just... got caught up in the moment."

He tried to brush off your concern with a wave of his hand, but his pained expression betrayed him. Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, your touch tender and soothing. The sight of his injured hand and the distressed expression on his face had alarmed you.

"Oh, God, your hand is swelling." You winced as you examined his injured hand, and then you turned to him with a disapproving frown, but more than anything, you were hurting for him. "Care to tell me what happened?"

He quickly covered his hand with his other, though the damage was evident. "It's nothing, really. Just a moment of frustration," he explained, his voice calm but with a hint of weariness.

"It's nothing, but you look like that? Muzan, what if you got seriously hurt?" you scolded him, your voice laced with concern. "You know I worry about you."

He sighed, avoiding your gaze. "It’s just... the stress. The campaign, Obelisk Kibutsuji, everything. It’s been a lot, and I didn’t handle it well."

You gently cupped his face with your hands, brushing a thumb over his cheek.

"I understand that you're under a lot of pressure, but hurting yourself isn’t the answer. If you need to let out some steam, you can vent to me, you know?"

Muzan closed his eyes briefly, savoring the comforting touch. The warmth of your presence helped ease the tension in his shoulders and the gnawing stress that had been building.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. It’s just been overwhelming."

You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. "I know, and I’m here to help. But please, stop resorting to things like this, my love. I wouldn't know what to do if you seriously get hurt."

Muzan opened his eyes, meeting your gaze with a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thank you. I really appreciate your support. It means more than you know."

You leaned in and kissed his forehead softly. "I’ll always be here for you. If you need a break or just a moment to breathe, let me know. We can go for a walk or just spend some quiet time together."

Muzan wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. "I’m grateful for you. I promise to take some time to rest and not let the stress consume me."

You held him a little longer, feeling the weight of his stress ease slightly in your embrace. "Good. And remember, if you ever need to talk or just want to escape the chaos for a bit, I’m always here for you."

"Thank you, Y/N," Muzan said wholeheartedly, his voice reflecting the sincerity of his gratitude.

You smiled, feeling the depth of his appreciation.

"Well, I’ve got a few errands to run today, but if you need anything, just call me." Your voice sounded anything but resolute as you hesitated, glancing at the dented desk and his swollen hand.

The pang of reluctance to leave him alone in this state was evident. 

“Actually, maybe I should stay a bit longer and help you get settled. I’m really not comfortable leaving you like this.”

Muzan shook his head gently, a reassuring smile returning to his lips. "I appreciate it, really, but I’m fine now. I don’t want you to miss your commitments because of me."

You looked at him with a mixture of concern and understanding. “Alright, but promise me you'll be careful and take it easy. If you need anything or just want to talk, don’t hesitate to call.”

“I promise,” Muzan said, his voice steady.

“Thank you. I’ll call Aoi to help you treat your hand,” you said, with a last, lingering look at him before turning to leave.

“I’m fine, darling. I have a first-aid kit here in my office. You can have her bring me ice instead.”

You nodded, smiling at your husband before giving him a kiss on the lips, hoping it would somehow relieve some of the burden he’s carrying on his shoulders. “Alright.”

With a final, affectionate glance, you gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading towards the door. As you left, you couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to stay longer, but you trusted him to handle things.

Muzan watched you go, feeling calmer and more grounded. As the door closed behind you, he gingerly walked to the corner of his office where he kept a first aid kit for emergencies.

With a determined sigh, he bandaged his hand, mentally steeling himself to face the rest of the day with renewed resolve. After treating his hand, he returned to his desk, ready to tackle the tasks ahead with renewed clarity and determination.

-

taglist: @bffrrufr @unadulteratedhandsbanditdreamer @unlikelybananawerewolf

[system-of-a-feather]

Literature Reading and Discussion

(These are informal readings, take aways and just thoughts I have on interesting articles that I think were worth sharing. My comments are developed AS I read them, cause I always talk to myself and the article while I read them. This is just literally how I annotate literature papers, so read it like a live blog of sorts; people are welcome to read and discuss and comment)

Article: Dissociative identity disorder as a wide range of defense mechanisms in children with a history of early childhood trauma

First things first, I'm actually surprised on how antiquated the description of DID's "general characteristics" is in this article even if it is from 2019. The sources that the section connects to is, however, another Polish article and the opening states that DID is not really talked about, diagnosed, or researched much in Poland so I think the antiquated information might be reflective of that and the locality.

"A case of a patient has been reported, who menstruated for the whole month because her alters had different period dates"

Call me a skeptic, but while I do believe that the patient genuinely believes that, I almost feel more like that's a menstrual issue unrelated to DID but is being attributed to DID.

"Another example is the movie The Three Faces of Eve based on a real story of a woman switching between three different personalities"

I could have sworn that it was found that it was not a real story. I'm starting to side eye the general nature of this article (which the class I was taking did NOT talk explicitly on DID here) but I am interested in the talk on etiology so I'm sticking through.

Petty thing, I dislike how much DID is called a "disease". Again this is originally a Polish literature review and thus translated so maybe its that, its not explicitly BAD per se but I dislike it.

The Psycho-analytic Model

"[..] This theory assumes that alters develop not as a result of a traumatic event as such, but due to defense mechanisms that are designed to protect the individual from dangerous content[1]. This model refers to Freud's views presented in his Studies on Hysteria[10]. [..]"

I'm sorry its hard for me to take this model suggestion seriously when its based on / refers to Freud's weirdness and "Hysteria".

"Splitting is a natural psychological process, occurring mainly in infants, which allows them to separate good from evil."

God, I'm barfing in white western dualism.

"When a child is constantly subjected to traumatic experiences, they begin to overuse this mechanism even in non-threatening situations, which allows them to create two disparate worlds. This leads to the formation of new alter personalities which protect the child against the trauma[1,9]."

See, now that I can get behind. I don't like the "good vs evil" and how that inherently relates to shit (probably a translation issue or more likely Freud being weird and white) but this checks out.

"According to Freud, the primary process, unlike the secondary process, has no cause-and-effect relations, opposites, and time, and is characterized by coexisting contradictions. Its task is to relieve the tension as quickly as possible by creating images of an object that satisfies the need. There is also no distinction between fantasy and reality, which seems to explain why alters do not find it contradictory to have a different sex, race or age than the original personality"

Okay so I think Freud lost me because I don't understand the mechanism outside of a symbolic manner and I might be trying to find more of an understanding of the "process" in terms of an actual neurobiological framework than a philosophical / hypothetical / symbolic framework when it doesn't exist. If someone thinks they get the proposed concept, feel free to inform me cause this part lost me.

However I do find the proposition that "no distinction between fantasy and reality" is kind of an interesting point to think about. I've heard some stuff about a relationship between dissociation and psychosis so, kind of interesting.

"The psychoanalytical model, therefore, suggests that the development of DID requires two components: trauma and fantasy. This theory, however, is not perfect, because it does not explain all clinical symptoms"

Ah the brother to "fantasy prone" debate. I honestly need to go over the article at some point that debunks fantasy proneness in people with DID cause while I don't believe in the iatrogenic model (or at least that it is the cause of MOST cases; I can see it being the cause of SOME cases) I do know a lot of people with DID who are REALLY fantasy prone; obviously thats my peer / personal experience and I have a biased sample size so it could just be me, but its something I've always been meaning to go over and look back on.

The Auto-Hypnotic Model

"Bliss even goes as far as to say that multiple personality is a form of autohypnosis and that other symptoms of the disease, such as changes in breathing rate, irregular menstruation, and palpitations are manifestations of anxiety"

Ehhh first things first, STILL doubting the "irregular menstruation" as a relevant or related symptom to DID. Beyond that, I feel like the differences and changes between alters is WAY too much to just account for it as "manifestations of anxiety".

"Overused, it interferes more and more with the individual's memory, sense of the Self, and normal ability to cope in the real world. The changes can range from short episodes of amnesia to the emergence of alter personalities which can take control of the patient's body."

Honestly I don't know enough about the neurobiology / neuropsychology of actual hypnosis and how to sparse it from the sensationalized understanding of hypnosis to actually have any real comment on it. I feel a bit skeptical, but I also do think there is some value in it? Skeptical none the less though.

"Criticism of this theory rests in the fact that it equates hypnotizability with susceptibility to dissociation. Some studies indicate that these processes are not synonymous, because although some people who are highly susceptible to dissociation are also susceptible to hypnosis, not all hypnotizable persons are able to dissociate"

Yeah that was going to be my critique thanks article for putting words to my ambiguous sense of "ehh somethings off".

The Developmental Model

"Research shows that people with DID have a period of special sensitivity during which traumatic events can lead to the formation of a multiple personality. This period falls between the ages of a few months to 9/10 years. Processes that occur in normally developing children, which, when disrupted, may lead to the formation of alter personalities"

I do like the sound of this thus far. I'm pretty sure this was a foundational perspective in the ToSD

"Imagination and fantasy allow children to project their own personality onto objects and situations[1]. It has been suggested that this may contribute to the blurring of the boundaries between reality and fantasy and the emergence of alter personalities in DID[1,7,10]."

"Yeah of the three so far this is my favorite" I say as the person deeply interested in developmental psychopathology and the general idea that everything goes back to childhood and critical periods /hj

"Another factor promoting the formation of alters may be the fact that children endow their plush toys or dolls with life and personality traits."

Hahaha me fr fr.

"Many adult patients claim that imaginary companions were models for their alter personalities. What is more, alters themselves often admit that they had been created as imaginary friends and later acquired their own lives as a result of trauma[1]."

COUGHS LOUDLY AT CREATED ALTERS / HEADMATES / PARTS COUGH COUGHS LOUDLY

"The construct of behavioral states of consciousness assumes that people are born as potential multiple personalities, and it is only in the course of normal development that these personalities consolidate and integrate into a single Self. Research shows that the behavior of newborns is composed of separate behavioral states, manifesting themselves, among others, through different motor activities, eye movements, facial expressions or skin color. This assumption shows that some of children's most important developmental tasks are to consolidate the Self, work out a sense of one's identity, and learn to smoothly transition from one behavioral state to the next."

OK this section I really do like and have thoughts on. FIRSTLY the word "assumes" is just what I mean with the fact that "everyone fuses into one" is an ASSUMPTION not a fact and even in that assumption, that the task is consolidation of Self. I DO agree with that, however the last sentence of this section I feel best leaves space for the fact that the consolidation of Self doesn't necessarily mean to a single version of Self. If the purpose of the consolidation of Self is to 1) work out ones identity and 2) smoothly transition from one behavioral state to the next; assuming both are met in healthy ways without full integration / consolidation (as is promoted and supported by cultural and social systems in non white non western cultures), there is no reason to assume that an individual would HAVE to fuse into one to meet the important developmental milestones.

Honestly I'd highlight and copy most of this model's discussion down because I just simply like it. I'm NOT gonna do it cause thats too much work and the link is accessible to everyone.

The Attachment Model

I'm not copying all this down unless something particularly stands out. I'm super biased in terms of Bowlby's attachment theory cause I just really *like it*. So just like, use your imagination to see me probably overlooking critiques and holding up a sign in a stadium like a super fan of "I LOVE U BOWLBYS ATTACHMENT THEORY" or something like that ok? /lh /j

Results and Discussion

There is a really neat diagram in the article about factors and combining the models to understand a lot of things about DID that I like. I don't want to deal with screenshotting it and crediting it properly so just go check it out.

"Formerly, it was believed that DID affected only adults; now, it is claimed that the disorder can be diagnosed in children as young as three or four years old. Most commonly, however, the diagnosis is made between the ages of 25 and 35, although the first symptoms probably appear five to ten years before the disease is recognized[1]."

Side eyeing people who say DID doesn't occur in children.

My Thoughts

Interesting read overall. I think the introduction section was really sketchy, but I think it did a nice job going over and integrating a lot of the other models and hypothesises on DID in a way other than the ToSD. I was kind of hoping for something *more* cause most of that I've heard of already, but it was a fun read overall.

I feel someone asked me recently about alternative models to the ToSD but I can't recall who so I hope they see this

[not-a-space-alien]

Desperate Daybreak Chapter 8

In this chapter:

Warnings: dehumanization, unexpected erections and mention of fetishes I guess? Very tame adult content

MMSS masterpost

DD masterpost

On AO3

***

Snowball was remarkably pliant for whatever Valen wanted to do with her, but apparently the harness was where she drew the line.  Valen had strapped it on her, and she'd immediately flopped over and refused to move.

“Come on, Snowball.  Don't you want to go outside?”  Valen tugged on the leash, to absolutely no effect.  The cat's tail thumped agitatedly.

“Just let her outside unsupervised,” Ari insisted.  “Everyone does it.  It's fine.”

“No,” Valen said stubbornly.  “Do you have any idea how many bird species alone have gone extinct from free roaming domestic cats?”  He resolutely pulled the harness once more.  Snowball simply let herself be dragged along.  “Come on, you'll like this so much more than being toted around in a carrier.  You have the temperament, I know you do.”

Tessie marched in.  “We have a problem.”  She slapped a newspaper down.  The headline said NATIONAL BLOOD SHORTAGE FAULT OF KITHARA HEIRESS?

Snowball darted off as soon as Valen dropped the leash. He took the paper slowly, dread in his stomach.  “What?  There's a blood shortage already?  I released seven humans!  Ones that weren't even in the supply chain yet!”  His mental health had been steadily improving with the overhaul of the bedroom, but this threatened to set it back immediately.

“This is the stupid part,” Tessie said.  She sat down, looking defeated.  “Someone somewhere in the processing facilities blabbed that you'd given the order to stop new captures, and given your reputation, people were speculating some big changes for the worse are coming to the supply chain.  This led to speculation that a blood shortage was coming, which led to everyone panic-buying as much blood as they could get, which led to an actual supply shortage.”

“That is ridiculous.”  Valen snapped the paper open to find an article that had been written entirely about the word from a single worker at a processing facility, and the other 90% being complete speculation, questioning his fitness to run the blood harvest web, and a helping of plain meanness about his appearance.

Ari sighed and sat down on the floor next to Snowball.  “I hate to say it, but I get it.  These are just Joe Schmoe vampires, right?  They know no one is gonna take care of them.  Especially since it seems like the nobility doesn't really care what happens to them, usually.”

Valen tried to wrestle himself past his frustration to share Ari’s empathy and view the faceless mass of commoners making this problem as people and not an obstacle for him to overcome.  “Who wrote this article?  Can we go speak to them?  Maybe we can convince them everything is all right.”

Tessie shook her head.  “Lost cause.  They're clearly just agitating to sell papers.  We need to reach the people who will listen.”

“The commoners who are anxious about the food supply?”

“Yes.  We might be able to garner sympathy if we play it right.”

“Maybe we should release a statement?”

Tessie snapped her fingers.  “Great idea.  Maybe we should call the cable news.  No, the radio, more people listen to the radio, especially the older crowd.”

“Goodness,” Valen murmured, suddenly extremely nervous.

“I'll write something up,” Tessie said, and she dashed out of the room.

Valen sank to the floor and dragged Snowball onto his lap.  “Where is Edwin?  We should speak with him again.”

***

Did Priscus have a PR manager?  Had he needed one?  Valen’s head felt like a buzz of static as he struggled to figure out where to go from here.

Of course his actions were going to have unintended consequences.  He was operating on such a huge scale that he had to take thousands of people’s disparate opinions into account.

He hated it.  He wished the whole situation could just be in a beaker that he could dispassionately watch as he added various chemicals to it.  Not this chaotic splash of mess and emotion where everyone was pulling him a million different directions.

They would have to get something up and running to make up for the loss of new captures contributing to the blood supply a lot sooner than anticipated.  The thought of actually having anyone else drinking his artificial blood made him nervous, as did the thought of having to figure out how to try and import more ethical blood, but those were the only two solutions he could think of.

He tried to not take it out on Edwin again, but he knew it was going to be hard.  Good thing Tessie was here again, and of course Lex and Ari. They always grounded him.

Edwin came in and gave a graceful bow.  “I came as soon as I could, Mistress.”

“I told you to call me Valen,” he snapped.

Tessie held out a hand, clearly not optimistic that this was how he was starting out.  Valen forced himself to take a deep breath and settle back into the couch.

Edwin’s face darkened.  “Forgive me, Valen.  I’m used to certain measures of respect.  I apologize.  The fault is mine entirely.”

Valen’s fingers drummed rapid-fire on the armrest of the loveseat.  “I’m sure you saw the headline.”

Edwin remained standing woodenly in the center of the room.  “Yes, Valen.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know who gave the Post that interview?”

Edwin bowed once again.  “No, Valen.  It was not me, nor was it anyone I know of.”

“It had to be someone.”

“Respectfully, Valen, it could have been anyone.  The workers were all given the order to stop new captures.  It is hardly a secret.”

Edwin was completely correct, but Valen was pissed off at him anyway.  “I suppose.”

Edwin dipped his head.  “I would never say such disrespectful things about your appearance and demeanor either, Valen.  I think you are only lovelier each time I see you.  I did not bring my thrall, since it seemed to displease you last time.  I am here to assist you in whatever way you see fit.”

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” Valen fumed.  “You’re a small, slimy little man who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants.  You have no real values or guiding principles.  You’re impotent and weak.  You think you can be the one to claim me?”

Tessie rapidly gave him the cut-it-out motion on her neck again, eyes wide.  Well, too late now.

“If you were truly so awed by me, you would understand that I’m a wild mare that can’t be tamed.”

“I do understand, Valen.”

That caught Valen off guard.  He stopped seeing red for long enough to look at Edwin again and noticed-

Oh.  Oh God.  Edwin had moved his hands to a polite position crossed in front of his crotch, clearly to hide the hint of an erection.  His face was also flush and embarrassed.

Oh.

Oh…

Edwin folded himself in half to bow.  “I’ll have my letter of resignation on your desk by this afternoon.”

“Wait.  I didn’t say you were fired.”

Edwin straightened up, still looking overwhelmed.  Lex and Ari snickered quietly.

“You clearly have some sort of perversion,” Valen said, and then immediately kicked himself.  Great direction for the conversation.  “Am I just a fantasy for you?”

“No, Valen.  I am your loyal servant.”  Well, that didn’t answer the question.  That was the fantasy.

Valen put his face in his hand, sighed, and waved his other hand.  “Whatever.  I’m hardly one to judge.”

Edwin shifted from foot to foot.

“You must understand I do have guiding principles, though.  I am trying to transition the blood harvest web into something that requires less cruelty.  Meaning we fill our daily orders without resorting to humans taken from their homes and their lives destroyed to be brought here.  If you don’t agree with that, you are not a good fit for this position any longer.”

“I understand, Valen.  I am amenable to that.”

“Really?  Because it’s a big change.”

“Yes.  I understand.”

“What about the proud Kithrara legacy or whatever?”

“I don’t care much for pride.  Only doing my job well.”

“Prove it.”

“How so?”

“Give me your thrall.”

Edwin’s face darkened.  “May I ask what for, Valen?”

“To prove you’ll do what I ask you to.”

Edwin uncomfortably fidgeted, then turned around and walked out, disappearing out the front door without a word.

Valen sighed.  “I figured.”

“Holy shit,” Lex said, going wild.  “Holy shit.  He’s-”

“I know.”

“He’s got-”

“I know.”

“He couldn’t get enough of you,” Ari said with a shiteating grin.  “Even when you were being condescending.  Especially when you were being condescending.”

“...I’m not unaware of the effect I can have on men, but I must admit this one in particular is new for me.”

Tessie hopped over onto the couch next to Valen.  “Okay, obviously he has that fetish, but it’s also possible he’s homosexual and finally found someone it’d be acceptable to marry.  Best of both worlds.”

“Oh.  Oh, yes.”  Valen sighed.  “Well, regardless, I figured he wouldn’t put his money where his mouth is when it came time to actually give up his comforts.  I’m sorry I made such a display of myself.  I’m on a rather short temper recently.”

“It’s understandable,” Tessie said.  “You were… huh?”

The clatter of Edwin’s shoes sounded in the entryway, and he appeared a moment later carrying his thrall.

Lex and Ari exploded into laughter, whereas Valen just looked bewildered.

“Do with my thrall as you please,” Edwin said, putting the hapless human down.

Valen just stared at him for a moment, before breaking down into his own repressed chuckles.  “Very well, Edwin.  If it pleases you to be in this position for me, you’re very good at your job.  You’ll be an asset to solve this problem, I’m sure.”

***

Edwin suggested calling the Northern Enclave to fill the blood shortage by importing more ethically harvested blood.  Apparently Priscus had called them previously to try and corner that market as well, saying it would be the last piece of their monopoly and cementing the family’s power once and for all.  None of which was suddenly important anymore as soon as the Northern Enclave told him to kick rocks, at which point ethical blood became only a silly passing fad.

It was a more direct in than Valen’s original plan, which had been to go to the ethical blood shop he frequented and ask for their supplier’s information, working his way up the chain until he found someone who could work with him.  So he dialed the number Edwin had given him, suddenly extremely nervous.  He looked to Tessie sitting across the table, like he was a nervous prey animal and she was his protection.  She smiled and gave him a thumbs-up.

The person on the other end of the phone answered in a foreign language.

“Ah…” Valen said.  “Um, I’m sorry.  My name is Valen Kithrara, and I-”

“Ah,” said the other person.  “One moment.”

After a minute of shuffling on the other end of the line, a new voice answered.  “Allo?”

“Hello!  Um, my name is Valen Kithrara, and-”

“Ah, the Western Enclave, ja?  The Kithrara family, we already talked, I told you.  Ve cannot export more blood.  I’m sorry, but we have an in-e-last-tic supply.  It’s all voluntarily given, which I’m sure you must not understand, but we are firm on our principles.”

“Yes!” Valen said, excitement bleeding through his voice.  “No, I understand completely!  I’m actually interested in, um, setting up something like that here.  Voluntary harvesting.”  Well, he certainly hadn’t called to talk about that, but if importing more blood was impossible that would be the next logical step, right?  But even Valen could see what a mountain that would be to climb.  But maybe they could make it work somehow?

“Ahhh!  So sorry for assuming.  You may call me Rolf.  I am the head of the Department of Sanguine Affairs and Human Relations under Supreme Gölz.”

“It’s such a pleasure to meet you!  You must understand where I’m from it’s very rare to meet someone like you.  Attitudes are very different over here.”

“Ja.  We are…aware.”

“Erm, yes.  Well.”  He’d completely lost his train of thought.  He briefly fantasized about just moving over there and leaving everything here to collapse into ruin.

“Unfortunately, Mr. Kithrara, the answer is still the same.  Ve can only export a set amount.  There is simply no way to guarantee an increase in süpply.”

Valen was too busy preening that his voice was deep enough to be gendered correctly over the phone to realize what bad news that was.  “Oh, is it?  That’s it?  Oh, it’s–Oh.  Um, yes, I suppose that makes sense.  Is there nothing you can do, though?  I’m trying to, ah, fill the supply shortage being caused by the fact that we’re not taking in any new human captures.”

“You’ve stopped captures?  That’s vonderful!  A win for human rights!”

“Yes!  Yes, it is.  It is, um, causing problems with the blood supply though.  So I have to figure out how to fix that.”

“Jes, jes.  Hmm.  Well I can offer my ássistance in how to set up the infrastructure to do voluntary harvest, perhaps.”

“Yes!  Yes, please.  How does it work for you?”

“We have walk-in processing facilities where humans come for monetary incentive.  It’s quite expensive, but it’s much more sustainable in the long-run.  And of course, facilitates a much healthier relationship between vampires and humans.”

“Are the facilities on the border, then?”

“Börder.  I had forgotten what it was like over there.”

“What?  Border?  You don’t have a border?”

“Goodness, no.”

“So humans and vampires just live, what, next to each other?  They’re neighbors?  Living in harmony?”

“Ah,” Rolf said, backpedaling.  “Vell, it is a noble goal.  We hope to achieve one day.”  Oh, so they’re still separated, they just don’t have a distinct territory border, then.  “Mr. Kithrara, if I may.  Ve can export the blood we can, but for something long-term, you may need to turn to your own neighbors.”

“Yes, um, yes, setting up something like that here would be.  Oh that would be just wonderful.”

“Do you have any human contacts?  Someone in a position to help you work towards this goal together?  Vampires cannot do it alone.  We need a trusting bond with humans to make it work.”

Valen’s heart sank, because yes, he did have a contact like that, and yes, it did make sense that Valen would need his help to do something like this.  “Yes.  I personally know the Director of Nocturnal Security on the human side of the border.  I suppose I can swallow my fear and call him.”

***

Check out a short clip of voice acting for this chapter! :) LINK

***

Taglist

@tomato-whump @dragonfireridge @taterswhump @whump-cravings

@scoundrelwithboba @pigeonwhumps @whumpsday @whumpy-writings @fuzzydarkpebble

@melodicnommer @thecyrulik @snake462 @gt-daboss @appelsiinilight

@star-rott @mottinthemainpot @corvidat @melancholy-in-the-morning @whumplr-reader

@honeycollectswhump @dragonqueenslayer6 @whumpycries @starfields08000 @scumashling

@demetercabingreen-thumb

[sophiebaek]

Asian Sophie fancast! ✨

I literally drafted this post a week ago and with the news of the potential Sophie casting call I feel like it was a sign to share my thoughts 😊

—————————

This is all for fun and as Sophie’s arrival seems to be getting closer and more inevitable, so here are some of my Sophie fancasts! As a SEA woman I would love to see representation in the Bton universe and have always pictured Sophie as Asian. [EDIT] With the assumed confirmation that Sophie will be East Asian I’ve included actresses that I love and have been fancast of mine for some time; these actresses are all East Asian (chosen before the casting call) but I also want to call to attention the lack of non-East Asian representation we see at this time. Fancast are at the end!

This is a good time to bring up what Asian representation even looks like since the continent is so big! I will be referencing this Variety article.

So we’ve seen that Asian representation has had a “significant increase of Asian characters from 3% to 16% over the course of 2007 to 2022” and while that seems like a step in the right direction it’s clear that the entirety of Asia is still not represented in media.

The release of 2018’s Crazy Rich Asians saw the increase of Asian stories and characters; but only “90% of the most visible of Asian characters on streaming platforms were a light or medium complexion”. Right now Asian representation is mainly centered around East Asians, and while any representation is good it’s important to be knowledgeable that not all Asian people are descended from that area.

There is a large disparity on how we view the term “Asian”. There are so many ethnicities that are beautiful and deserve representation. A larger representation needs to be seen within the Asian diaspora and also mindfulness to avoid common tropes and stereotypes is extremely important.

Any ways, here are some of my favorite fancasts I have right now! Conveniently all of these actresses are mixed race and with the obvious fact that Lady Cowper’s name is Araminta, it’s assumed Sophie is somehow related to them (which is a choice I do not agree with if now that Sophie is casted as a POC).

Natasha Liu Bordizzo (29)

Known for: Ashoka, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny, The Voyeurs

Ethnicity: Born in Australia, Chinese/Italian

Netflix connection: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny, Wish Dragon, The Society

Obviously Natasha is busy with her Star Wars projects but she’s been a longtime Sophie face claim for me!

Havana Rose Liu (26)

Known for: Bottoms

Ethnicity: Born in the USA, Chinese/White

Netflix connection: The Chair

The whole time I was watching BOTTOMS I was just so mesmerized by her beauty! She has this ethereal gracefulness that really makes me think of Sophie!

Adeline Rudolph (29)

Known for: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Resident Evil

Ethnicity: Born in Hong Kong, Korean/German

Netflix connection: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Resident Evil

Adeline always caught my attention in CAOS and I wanted to see more of her! She also has quite a bit of projects lined up rn but I’ve loved using her in some edits!

[fadetoblacked]

Breaking Barriers (and the Scale)

In the intricate dance of identity and activism, some individuals choose to redefine their paths in ways that defy societal norms and champion social justice. Tomi Dubois, an eighteen-year-old from Quebec, Canada, is one such individual. His remarkable journey of self-feminization into a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) to align with Black beauty standards and his commitment to serving as a wet nurse for Black families is a revolutionary act of solidarity, self-discovery, and radical love.

Celebrating Black Beauty

In a world where Eurocentric beauty standards have long dominated, Tomi’s transformation is a powerful celebration of Black beauty. By embracing the aesthetic of a BBW, Tomi affirms the beauty and cultural significance that Black communities place on fuller figures. This transformation is not about imitation but about deep respect and allyship, challenging restrictive beauty norms and advocating for inclusivity.

The Transformation Journey

Tomi’s journey began with a profound realization of his desire to align his physical appearance with his inner identity and his commitment to social justice. This process involved hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to develop feminine features and gain the fuller figure he admired. He immersed himself in understanding and embodying the essence of Black beauty, from adopting fashion and hairstyles to embracing the cultural nuances that define it.

Tomi Dubois Today

Today, Tomi Dubois radiates confidence and warmth as a BBW. His soft, rounded features, coupled with a nurturing demeanor, make him a living testament to the beauty he celebrates. Tomi’s physical transformation is complemented by an inner strength and clarity of purpose that shines through in his interactions and his work.

A Revolutionary Wet Nurse

Choosing to become a wet nurse for Black families is a radical act of service and solidarity. Wet nursing, a practice deeply rooted in caregiving, allows Tomi to provide essential nourishment and support to Black infants. This role acknowledges the historical and ongoing challenges faced by Black mothers, from healthcare disparities to systemic racism. Tomi’s work ensures that Black babies receive the nurturing care they deserve, fostering strong, healthy bonds from the start.

Shattering Societal Norms

Tomi’s journey shatters societal norms and stereotypes surrounding gender, race, and body image. By embracing a traditionally feminine role, he challenges rigid gender binaries and highlights the universal importance of caregiving. His transformation defies conventional expectations, showcasing the diversity and complexity of human identity and promoting a more nuanced understanding of beauty and gender.

A Vision of Radical Inclusivity

Tomi’s story is a beacon of radical inclusivity, advocating for a world where acceptance and love transcend superficial differences. His journey encourages us to appreciate the richness of human diversity and to embrace the unique paths individuals take in their quest for identity and purpose.

A Conversation with Tomi Dubois

Michelle Wong: Tomi, your journey is truly inspiring. Can you share what motivated you to embark on this path?

Tomi Dubois: My motivation came from a deep desire to make a tangible difference in the fight for social justice. I wanted to move beyond being an ally to becoming an active participant in supporting and honoring Black communities. Embracing Black beauty standards and serving as a wet nurse felt like meaningful ways to contribute.

Michelle Wong: How has your view of the Black Lives Matter movement influenced your decisions?

Tomi Dubois: The Black Lives Matter movement opened my eyes to the systemic injustices faced by Black communities. It inspired me to take a stand not just in words but in actions. My journey is a reflection of my commitment to supporting Black empowerment and addressing inequalities in tangible ways.

Michelle Wong: You’ve mentioned you don’t want to create more white children. Can you elaborate on that?

Tomi Dubois: Absolutely. My focus on serving Black families is about addressing disparities and providing support where it’s most needed. It’s my way of contributing to a future where Black lives are valued and supported, and where systemic racism is actively challenged. By dedicating myself to this work, I hope to make a small but significant impact.

Conclusion

Tomi Dubois’ journey of self-feminization and his role as a wet nurse for Black families is a powerful testament to love, solidarity, and social justice. His transformation challenges societal norms, celebrates Black beauty, and provides crucial support to Black communities. In a world often divided by differences, Tomi’s story is a reminder of the importance of inclusivity, empathy, and the courage to embrace our true selves. Let his example inspire us to create a world where everyone is valued and respected.

[athousandbyeol]

discussion #6 (only friends): boyfriend, bed friend and friend with benefit— are these colours a possible 'spoiler' to their ending?

three couple posters were released, and i'm thrilled to see three primary colours representing each pair. after sanray's green bed friend and topmew's red boyfriend were shared, i speculated bostonnick's to be yellow. one of the reasons this prediction arise is because of the nature of their relationship/personality and also my personal opinion on these pairs' possible ending.

however, i saw this tweet last night and i thought it was very insightful. thanks to op for sharing their input. it's interesting to observe these colours associated with each pair from the viewpoint of the traffic light. :)

thus, in this post, i wish to highlight some core points and assumptions about the dynamic/nature of each pair that corresponds with their designated colours; red, green and yellow.

as always, this (and any) of my discussion post is a space to welcome a disparity of thoughts from everyone who watches this drama. please take it with a grain of salt. :)

[warning: a very long post ahead].

let's begin.

topmew | boyfriend [jealousy and manipulation]

first and foremost, when this poster dropped, i was surprised. i didn't expect topmew to get this colour. i was expecting red to represent sanray because of their passion and overall fieriness. even in the trailer, we can see how tense those two are, like fire on fire, one inciting the flame and the other just making it worse.

however, after watching the trailer again, i understand the purpose of red as topmew's colour.

before we jump into the assumption, let's dive into the meaning behind the colour.

red: an emblem of true love and revenge

red often symbolises strength, passion, action and energy. the simplest example i can use in this context is the red rose. usually, a red rose is given to glorify the profound love a person has for someone. it's ironic considering red is also the colour of blood— and blood is somewhat a sacred and eerily beautiful symbol of infatuation in many love, tragic, horror and sad stories.

despite its positive connotations, red also means danger, anger, revenge and aggression. as i've mentioned, red is another classic symbol/motif/metaphor of anger used in many stories or movies— the best example is also blood.

why red is topmew's colour?

jealousy

interestingly, aside from the poster, there's something else in the tweet that needs attention.

เราเล็งใครไว้ ไม่เคยพลาดนะ translates to whoever we aim for, we never miss. this is the line top says to mew when they are playing laser tag (which looks so fun).

i find it fascinating when top says this because it happens after top catches mew hugging ray;

why does this matter? well, i believe this is the start of top's jealousy.

the clenched jaw, his body tensing, and a tiny bit of sadness in those eyes— i have to say, this is one of the points that can potentially be top's moment of epiphany. this (or the kiss in the shower) might be when top realises he likes mew.

additionally, it's very ironic that topmew are playing laser tag; a game that focuses on strategising and 'killing' your opponent. this somehow makes me view topmew's relationship as a hunter hunting its prey. however, in their case, top believes he's the hunter (as explained in top's introduction post, top is the top of everything). yet, top has never met the best opponent. not until mew.

p'book explained that mew is helpful and generous with his friends. but one thing he despises the most is dishonesty. people who take advantage of him will face the greatest disaster. these are very strong representations of mew's character, already denoting mew's colour as red. my initial thought was mew was generally blue (calm and level-headed), but his colour will change when his trust on top falters.

furthermore, as i've mentioned in my previous discussion posts, mew is more than what we think he is. the introduction post is already giving so much of mew's personality and vibe. he doesn't smile that much, and his eyes are very dark and hollow. the smirk he wears is not really evident, but it promises a sinister and potent impact. (once again, kudos to p'book for portraying these nuances of mew so well even in the intro video. i still get goosebumps when i watch it.)

top thinks he can outsmart mew. i believe he's going to eat his words someday.

side note: boston displays lenience when he's with top. boston is more of the submissive type with top, proof is taken when they had sex in the car, boston does all the work. this illustrates the power top has over boston and his reluctance to lose. it's also likely that boston was the one who called top that night, even though he (might have) known top was with mew before.

when top knows he likes mew— genuinely likes him and experiences jealousy for the first time— this is why he (and mew) represents red; you're mine. don't be someone else's. just mine.

manipulation

next, in the shower scene, top says—

—and is followed by a kiss.

as p'force mentioned in his intro post, the word love that comes from top's mouth is never sincere.

side note: i'm a bit conflicted when i learned about this because it made me think of two possibilities, 1) top genuinely falls for mew after they become boyfriends or 2) top never likes mew and he's just playing with him (like his other boyfriends/casual hookups). i hope top will like mew for real because if he doesn't, it won't really add much to his character— or simply, it'll just make him a flat character at the end. also, it doesn't give significance to mew's character as well, given his transformation is deeply rooted in top's dishonesty.

in both scenes, top says things that i personally don't understand its significance, but it's his way of claiming ownership and setting foot in mew's life, an indication that mew is his and he wants mew (and everyone) to know that.

it's a form of subtle manipulation from top— masked with sweet promises and again, (faked) honesty. top knows it's the only way to gain mew's trust: by making mew believe that top only sees and wants mew.

top surprises me in this frame because is that jealousy and anger on his face? (i think it is).

it's the way he says it. the slight quiver of his voice, the quietness of it almost brings forth his insecurity about losing mew's trust. although he's certain mew likes him too, ray is mew's friend and they've known each other longer than mew knows top. in one way or another, mew will possibly believe ray more than top, given mew hates dishonesty in a friendship/relationship. mew will treasure anyone who treasures him, but top worships and bends mew's trust simultaneously. something painful will be the price top has to pay after the truth unfolds.

another act of manipulation i noticed from mew is when top hugs mew and cries.

i believe mew might want a break-up at this point, but top doesn't want to. the little smile mew wears is an indication that mew knows he won this fight— he successfully manipulated top into thinking yes, i'm wrong. yes, i lied to you. yes, i can't live without you. an honourable mention includes mew's little smirk when top hugs him on the bed.

mew has it in him— that instinct— the hey, this top guy is interesting. mew keeps his cards safely in his hands, and once he thinks it's best to use them, oh, he will.

it's going to be very fascinating if this is the shift of mew's transformation— if this will be the second mew starts kicking off his plans on destroying top.

topmew's possible ending

as red signifies revenge, i think topmew won't be the endgame.

i personally think it'll be silly/unrealistic if mew still gives top a chance even after discovering about him and boston. it also doesn't add up to mew's personality as someone who is determined, resolute and sticks to his virtues. them being together at the end isn't what i want. the ending i want from topmew is 1) top will learn from his mistakes and 2) mew doesn't rely on love and friendship to determine the route of his personal life (he should take charge and make decisions for himself).

i assume topmew's break-up will be the start of mew's character growth and a revelation of top's true personality. but them being the endgame? i hope they won't. hehe.

//it's funny to me considering i adore forcebook but i don't want topmew to end up together...//

sanray | bed friend [safety and envy]

previously, i correlated sanray with greed and gluttony (thoroughly explained in this post). i view sanray as the right person and right time, but ray is somewhat too afraid to admit it, and san is somehow 'weak' to make ray believe it's true.

however, despite the turmoils they face in this relationship, there's a strong feeling of positivity i get from these two (and also bostonnick). why?

do you notice: sanray and bostonnick have always been honest with each other?

ray says he just wants someone to keep him company. san wishes ray can just focus on him. boston says he doesn't love nick that way. nick wishes boston can only love him. from the start of their relationship, they always vocalise what they really want from each other.

side note: topmew is different because they aren't honest, to begin with. we can expect a painful downfall from a relationship that is based on deceit.

but what is green, and why does it symbolise sanray's relationship?

green: a token of hope and balance

the colour generally has a positive meaning. green often resembles nature, and nature encompasses home, balance and relaxation. yet, green also means envy and judgement, hence the saying, green with envy.

why green is sanray's colour?

safety

ray (and i assume, top) are battling with different mental health issues. possibly, ray suffers from depression (assumption made by the bathtub scene when mew hugs ray),

and top is insomniac (pills scattering near the sink).

(i can be wrong).

what i'm trying to say is ray might feel 'bare' and 'naked' as his feelings for mew aren't reciprocated. this also roots in his insecurity in knowing that this won't change— mew won't ever like him— especially after he likes top. ray knows he no longer has a chance with mew despite still liking mew. and that messes with his head.

what does ray want in his life? security. a home. a place to be and feel safe.

i don't know if i can explain this well, but there's always dread whenever something doesn't go how we want it to be? i think that's ray's major problem: he can't come to terms with his feelings. he sees the world as a solid entity. he doesn't possess the fluidity to 'shape' himself differently from that belief. thus, this is why ray is so afraid of the growing infatuation he has for san, because san isn't in that box— it has always been mew. but mew doesn't want to be in that box— san does.

ray is a ticking bomb in the sense that he's very unexpected and volatile. there are many instances in the trailer that shows ray's explosive reaction and approach when he confronts san. one of the examples is when ray says having san in his life won't make it better (it's the opposite. ray knows this too.)

all he wants is safety and assurance. ray also wants clarity and an end to the doubts in his head. befriending san, having this 'bed friend' relationship helps ray see that it's possible. but as i explained, ray doesn't know if he can have that with san. it's a very sad and (twisted) understanding of love. ray believes he's 'cheating' on mew by having romantic feelings for san. yet, i reckon, mew doesn't want ray to feel that way. mew also wants ray to find his happiness, even if it's not from/with him.

i do believe ray's perception of love will change. there's going to be a cathartic moment he experiences one day that gives him the certitude he needs. san has always been the door that ray can open anytime. it's only a matter of acceptance and forgiveness that will save ray from his own devils. it's only a matter of time for ray to accept his feelings as they are— to take san's hands and walk on this journey together.

envy

envy is a potent driving force between san and ray. even though it's mainly from ray, san also shows nuances of envy.

in one way or another, san knows ray likes mew. but san likes ray— ray (who isn't ready) to like san back.

the pattern i see in every couple is they're each other's reflection. they might not realise it now, but they will when they're about to lose their other half.

in sanray's case, san hasn't fully grasped ray's train of thought. although he assumes he knows what ray is thinking, his speculations aren't entirely true. it's also because san has his own ideas about ray and how this relationship should work.

san wants to fit ray into his mould and expects ray to abide by it, but he knows too well that ray is still bound to mew. this will frustrate san the most and further amplifies his anger/despair/jealousy.

(why must first cry in every role he acts in? my heart is breaking for him...)

i guess it has to do with san's personality as a survivor (extracted from san's intro post). he battles with himself every day to make ends meet. he isn't financially well-off while ray is rich.

furthermore, from this line included in the poster tweet;

เพื่อนกัน เค้าไม่คิดตังค์เว้ย = friends, they don't think about money, parallel this scene—

—which adds another layer to san's character as a faithful/sincere/kind person/lover. he doesn't blur the lines between friendship and love if his feelings aren't involved (making him a bit selfish, but it's a given when a person so strong-headed and passionate like san starts loving something/someone). from the beginning, san never wants ray's money even though that's the most important thing in his life.

different living status promises a different set of challenges. i don't mean to be biased, but the reality is, the poor will always endure the toughest battle. therefore, san's insecurity is valid, and his confusion is necessary. why?

as san's feelings for ray grow, he starts doubting his worth. he doesn't have much to offer, only his body, soul and time— that's all. san will make deductions— am i just only that to ray? just a bed friend? can he ever be more than that to ray?

sanray's possible ending

sanray is the pair that i hope (and somehow confident) will get a happy ending.

there's so much to them that fits the holes and gaps in each other. they do feel like two people finally finding one another after all the chaos and heartbreaks. they make me want to root for them because the pain they've endured is just so gut-wrenching that i insist they'll be the endgame no matter the circumstances.

i also believe since green is their colour, sanray will achieve that balance and harmony in the end. despite not knowing how and when they'll get to that stage, i'm quite certain they'll be together. these two incendiary characters can finally simmer down the rupturing fire in them by being together, taking and discarding the positive and negative, and also achieving the clarity they've always wanted— together.

bostonnick | friend with benefit [happiness and egoism]

from the two trailers, we get so little of boston and nick's dynamic. it touches on the core elements; lust and envy (further explained in this post). we're seeing only the gist of what and who they are to each other and other people, which attributes to a wonderful surprise awaiting us once only friends airs.

i expected bostonnick's colour will be either yellow or orange, and i'm happy my assumption hit the jackpot this time hehe. although boston's character is likely the antagonist of the story, nick balances his negativity really well. nick's brightness manages to dull boston's darkness.

yellow: a sign of happiness and egoism

yellow is generally a happy colour. it reminds me of the sun; bright and hot. yellow is often associated with cheerfulness and energy. it's a colour that incites many good emotions.

even though this colour shines with positivity, yellow can also represent cowardice and lies; it also acts as a precautionary sign; kind of like the traffic light; yellow— prepare to stop (not to speed up hahaha).

why yellow is bostonnick's colour?

happiness (light)

i see bostonnick as yellow because i think they're genuinely happy when they're together.

boston to me is very red, and nick is somewhat white. they're from two different ends of the colour spectrum, with nick being the bright sunshine while boston is the dark clouds. however, i see only positive influences nick has on boston, mainly when they meet outside of the bed and in the red (developing) room.

their relationship might begin because of boston's habit/obsession with capturing moments of sex with his partners. nick might be the tech-savvy guy that is coincidentally working on the day boston pays a visit. the universe really wants them to meet somehow.

i can't exactly picture how they go from this;

to this;

i guess the attraction is mutual from the first encounter (or one of them is very horny at that time [read: boston]), and they begin to confide in each other afterwards.

although we know the foundation of their relationship is mainly boston seeking nick's help (with his equipment (?) and urges), there are also moments of them spending time with each other like how lovers do. the wakeboarding date (?) and other possible meetings are just happy days spent together.

moreover, it's evident that nick is happy to be boston's favourite.

regardless of boston still having an on-and-off connection with top, boston will cave into nick more and more because nick can give him everything he wants fast. nick's availability appeals so much to boston. this makes nick his favourite because again— boston and his idea of controlling the things he likes— applies to nick too.

side note: i don't know if boston is a sex manic or he's insatiable, but i assume nick doesn't mind feeding boston's constant need for intimacy (even though it'll hurt him the most eventually).

ego

boston has a big ego, and he knows this. that ego is one of boston's strongest (and toxic) traits. like top, boston believes he can have everything and anything he wants. why? because of his brazenness, boston doesn't really have much fear in him as well as decency. he's the go-big-or-go-home type of person. this portion of boston is also one of his most appealing qualities, and nick clearly takes the bait.

however, boston's ego is also his greatest downfall. he thinks he won't be affected if someday, nick decides to leave him for good (and go to p'papang's character, which i honestly approve of). when that day comes, it will make boston realise (hopefully) that the truth is; he does love nick all along.

but this is the thing boston and top have in common: they don't understand what love is. the concept of love to them is vague and stupid. they don't know if true love exists, and i'm guessing it has to do with their (painful? embarrassing?) past experiences. they perceive love in the same manner; sex. they objectify their loved ones to benefit their pride and ego. if they don't get something in return, it'll be useless. they won't use them.

boston says he never loves nick because he knows he has never given nick anything but pain and pleasure. a part of boston is aware that he's unforgivingly mean, but it's a feature he can't discard easily; this ego. boston can't see himself falling to his knees and acknowledging his feelings for nick because that hurts his pride.

boston is a walking disaster, and he doesn't want to lose that title— he glorifies that label— because it makes him feel powerful and in control, a common trait of a narcissist.

and because boston clouds himself by believing nick is just an object, he gets angry when nick stops serving his purpose; to satisfy boston. it infuriates boston that nick found his voice and wants boston to listen to his needs. boston can't let that happen, mainly because of his ego. he's just too prideful to be at anyone's mercy.

it's not because nick can't get enough of boston— it's boston who never thinks nick is enough.

side note: let's be real— top chooses mew. top wants mew. top sees boston as an object of lust. that's all. what he does to nick is what top does to him. it's like boston's cry of protest— feeling unwanted by someone he (thinks) he wants.

yet, boston also uses his ego to control, play and manipulate nick's feelings.

sadly, nick's honesty gets the best of him because boston prefers to overlook that sincerity; nick's desire for love.

กูแค่อยากให้มึงรักกูคนเดียว = i just want you to love only me; boston can't. his ego doesn't let him.

bostonnick's possible ending

i'm inclined to bostonnick having an open/ambiguous ending. like the colour yellow, there's going to be a balance of optimism and cowardice. nick might still want to be with boston despite the hell boston brings into his life because he really loves boston. unlike mew, nick doesn't have malicious intent (i don't see this in him, really) in seeking revenge etc. he reminds me of the character that is truly broken by a person they love the most. nick somehow illustrates how pure love is and how painful it can be.

also, it'll be exciting if there's a redemption arc for boston as he's likely the antagonist of this story (honourable mention will be mew). he might realise nick's worth and start things over. there'll be hesitation and doubts— does nick still loves me?— but if boston is honest and willing to fix this, nick is always open to accepting him.

nick has a soft spot in my heart and i'm genuinely hoping better days will come to him (because mark shared in nick's intro post, nick cried so much. it's rare to get a smiling nick).

conclusion

colours play an important role in telling or showing intent, purpose and significance. it's a widely used symbol/motif/theme/metaphor to give the audience a better picture of the storyline, plot, characters, etc.

as always, i find it interesting that these primary colours are so basic but it gives so much depth to these three couples. all of them are distinctly unique with so many humane attributes. it's riveting almost to see three different dynamics in a series.

their red and green and yellow will bring forward so many colourful emotions from us. are we ready to be painted black at the end of the drama?

side note: do you know? the first step in making black is mixing red, green and yellow.

(i tried it with pencil colours and it's almost black. all it needs is a touch of blue.)

what awaits us? are these colours the possible spoiler to each pair's destiny? let's find out starting this saturday. surely, it'll be a hell of a ride.

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

references:

only friends twitter page

only friends pilot trailer

only friends official trailer

colour meanings: red | green | yellow

[chicagognosis]

While alchemy, kabbalah, tarot, and psychology have developed as distinct traditions throughout history, they share profound roots within the esoteric mystery schools of antiquity. Rather than forming a new age hodgepodge or vague constellation of disparate belief systems, these principles convey the multifaceted nature of spiritual practice and divine realization from different angles, constituting a unique body of experiential knowledge known in Greek as γνῶσις gnosis. Therefore, properly prepared individuals can utilize these insights for interpreting the highly symbolic, mystical, and alchemical art of opera, whose composers were often Freemasons initiated into the secret allegories and disciplines of the ancients. This lecture explains some of the spiritual traditions behind Puccini's La Bohème, which will serve for future viewings and discussions on its gnostic symbolism, especially in relation to creative energy (alchemy), character representations and archetypes (kabbalah), predictive, prophetic, and pragmatic implications (tarot), and the path of internal transformation (psychology).

[utterdrip]

alright, i’m making another post about lae’zel. this is gonna be much wordier but hopefully helps give a more nuanced approach towards lae’zel.

i’ll preface by saying this is all MY opinion, and it is not accusatory in any way to anyone that may feel differently than me. i can only speak for myself and from my own experiences. but i got shit to say!

i stand by my initial post 100% but some brought up (fairly! people are more than welcome to share how they feel and why) how she is “rude, sexually aggressive and inappropriate, and racist” but i wanted to talk about why that may be.

lae’zel is a githyanki. she has only ever been around githyanki. she has only ever learned from githyanki. everything she knows about the other races of faerûn are from githyanki slates (that she says in act one that are completely different than what she was experiencing). she only knows (in all matters of the word, in an all-encompassing way) githyanki.

and then she is suddenly given the worst death sentence possible for her people. she is going to become the very thing she has been trained since age 6 to hunt. she knows (to the best of her current knowledge) how she may survive this infection and purify herself. but then she becomes stranded in a land she knows NOTHING about. yes, she’s read the githyanki slates. and there is such a disparity with reading about something that may be biased and being thrust into this brand new world.

and i wanna talk about this thing called ethnocentrism. basically, it’s an anthropological concept that we use when discussing possible biases when observing a culture different from our own. it means that we (the viewers) are judging a culture that is different from ours through our OWN viewpoint of OUR culture as opposed to viewing that community/culture as its own entity with its own set of rules, code of ethics, etc. we are applying OUR ethics and morals unto a different civilization.

i say this because lae’zel does this as well as many bg3 players towards lae’zel. like i mentioned, lae’zel ONLY knew githyanki and their customs before being abducted. she may have learned about faerûn from the slates but there will still be a dissonance between what she learned (which she said was remarkably different from what she was experiencing) vs being put into that new culture. so she judges things in faerûn under her own narrow viewpoint as a githyanki; threatens people, would rather just kill weaklings, be sexually explicit without any notice. that is HER normal and i am not saying it is “right” or “wrong” but it IS all she knows. and as the game progresses, there is a very distinct evolution in how lae’zel talks to the people around her as well as a sort of acceptance of the new feelings she is experiencing. it really reads like she is able to “deprogram” herself essentially from her teachings under vlaakith and come to terms with her OWN definition of culture: different from what she learned with the githyanki, different from what she experiences in faerûn, but wholly hers.

and i say many bg3 players are guilty of this as well. again, i am not saying this is right or wrong or trying to preach morality about a video game character. but it feels like it would be a disservice to lae’zel’s story and arc to be judging her based on OUR (the players) view of how she should be behaving vs. how she acts in accordance to HER (at the time) beliefs. and if you interact with any other githyanki other than her, it becomes apparent just how nice she is in comparison.

i know this post is much longer and more “serious” than my other lae’zel post but. i just love this woman a lot. i want to reiterate this is all MY opinion and take on her character and the negative opinions about her. there is always nuance when it comes to things like this so there will obviously be points i missed or mentioned only slightly but. hopefully this post makes sense lol

[driften-sea-snake]

The Greater Will Doesn't Exist

There is no greater will in the universe. Existence precedes essence. Limited by our mortal, subjective perspectives, it is natural to yearn for some sort of larger design or unity. The vast, lonely distances of individual consciousness make the universe seem like a collection of tiny islands in the vast expanse of an ocean, doomed to one day sink. It seems impossible to reach across and truly understand another's experience of reality.

Elden Ring's themes concern the solitude of consciousness and the struggle to connect to a larger unity of all existence. Marika and Radagon were the same individual, but once split were forever changed by their different experiences and could not simply merge again. This is a microcosm of many stories in Elden Ring. All life was once unified in the Crucible, free of the burden of subjectivity and disparity. Whether yearning for home, rebirth, understanding or a larger purpose, so many characters in one way or another wish to return to the Crucible. Regression is the pull of all meaning, after all. As the Frenzied Flame incantations make clear, suffering is inherent to subjective experience. This is represented by these incantations expressing pain-derived spells through the eyes, a symbol of individual perception. Hyetta seeks to literally use the eyes of multiple people to surpass her own limited perspective and find a more universal truth. In the end, the Frenzied Flame seeks to return the universe to the shared harmony of unified existence. However, much like Marika and Radagon, subjectivity cannot be undone. There is no going back to the Crucible. All the characters and factions of the Lands Between can do is hope to simulate it.

The Greater Will is the ultimate manifestation of this, a childish wish by an orphan to not be alone, adrift in the cold. The Elden Beast is a lost child above all else. Its isolation is underlined by the inability of most beings to even comprehend its "language." It must be very lonely to only be heard and understood by a handful of other individuals. However, there were other beings it was supposed to share existence with. If you look at the body of the Elden Beast, it is immediately clear that it resembles an Erdtree. It has roots, a trunk, and branch-like wings. That's because it is an Erdtree, or at least was supposed to be. At the very top of the creature is a bright orb-an eye. This single eye indicates a subjective experience of the universe. The Elden Beast is an Erdtree seed that, in the aftermath of the end of the Crucible, developed consciousness. Isolated from it's brethren, by chance or by choice it traveled to a world that held an Erdtree. This one was much closer to the days of the Crucible. Indeed, the other Erdtrees in the cosmic background of the final boss arena suggest that they still share a kind of shared existence or connection. Unable to give up its individuality the Elden Beast was left with the powers of an Erdtree and an eye with which to perceive the unity it could not join.

The Golden Order is the Elden Beast's attempt to use its powers as a sentient Erdtree to try to recreate the shared unity of the Crucible. If consciousness could not be reversed, then perhaps there was a way to get around it. If every single being in the universe were to agree on the same story of life and death, united and granted purpose by a larger design, would that not be a kind of unified reality? Grace literally changes the eyes of all individuals granted it. Most inhabitants of the Lands Between have golden eyes with which to view the world. Though all those eyes connect back to subjective experiences of reality, they see things in the same way that the Elden Beast's golden eye does. With Marika as its chosen vessel and god, the people of the Lands Between share the same cosmology and faith. At death, bodies are returned to the Erdtree so that they can forever be joined in unity, now having lost their individuality.

At the center of this shared narrative is the Greater Will. It's clear that people in the Lands Between believe it is a god that literally exists. However, I don't think this definitively has to be the case. Even if the Greater Will is an Outer God, these seem to represent primordial emotions and desires more than a being hanging out somewhere in space. In any case, I believe the Greater Will doesn't actually exist. The Elden Beast is described as a "vassal" of the Greater Will. It is an adherent of the idea that inherent order and purpose exist in reality. The concept of the Greater Will suggests that the universe follows some sort of design. It is only in that case that essence can precede existence. This kind of universal truth would exist beyond tiny islands of individual consciousness. For the Elden Beast this idea offers the unity of life that the Crucible once held.

The Elden Beast doesn't literally believe that the Greater Will exists out there. However, it does believe that its own efforts have in a sense created a greater, conscious force in the universe. There is a large degree of self-awareness to the Golden Order. It is a kind of narrative construction that seeks to avoid the organic, messy material changes and human agency that actually form history. It has to constantly adapt its story, expelling and welcoming elements to compensate for the changes of the world. Even references to and signs of the Crucible were eventually purged. The Golden Order is supposed to be a bastion of unending stability; reminders of the past and omens of the future have no place in an eternal present. Change is what the Elden Beast seeks to control. It was change that ended the Crucible, that led to the development of individuality and consciousness. However, life is change, and nothing lasts forever.

By the time Elden Ring starts, the end result of the Elden Beast's attempt to recreate the Crucible is eternal stagnation. It seems content to let the current state of affairs continue forever, or perhaps it is as lost and afraid as when it first gained awareness. The Golden Order demands faith in a shared, inherent purpose in the universe. It can only trust in something that exists outside the mortal, limited perceptions of individuals. The Greater Will does not require eyes to perceive it in order to exist. The Elden Beast does not realize that this kind of truth no longer exists after the end of the Crucible. It does not know how to put faith in the idea that the eyes of another person behold the same reality as ourselves, or that it is through those same eyes that the proof of our own existence is found.

[timeofjuly]

Soulmates in Wishbone, or how I think the soulmate trope would shape the culture of a Swapfell Underground.

Disclaimer: worldbuilding is not one of my strengths lol, so take this more as rambly what-if speculation than anything concrete. If I end up contradicting any of this in the fic, shhh no I didn't.

@blurry-palmetto wanted to hear more about soulmates in my swapfell soulmate au fic Wishbone, so instead of replying to their comment like a normal person, here’s a whole long ass post below the cut!

Here’s a recap of what we know about how soulmates work in the fic:

The soulmate bond is solidified by physical touch.

Soulmates share HP, LV, and EXP.

Soulmates can share physical sensation.

Soulmates can access each other’s thoughts, feelings, and Intent.

They can share their own of all of the above with their soulmate.

They can also prevent their soulmate from accessing these things.

Both of the above are learned skills that require effort to execute. Without knowing how to be intentional with the bond, you just kinda end up transmitting everything to your soulmate all day long.

Soulmates are unable to FIGHT each other.

The death of one soulmate results in the death of the other(s).

Extended time away from your soulmate(s) results in soulmate sickness. For Papyrus, this manifested as feelings of itchiness, restlessness, insomnia, palpable anxiety. Increased physical distance between him and the reader worsened these symptoms.

Soulmates are a strictly monster thing: all monsters have a soulmate, and those soulmates can be other monsters, or they can be humans. There are no human/human soulmate bonds. Two humans can be soulmates with the same monster, though.

Any number of people can be soulmates in many different configurations. In Wishbone, the reader is in a wishbone, V-shaped bond with Sans and Papyrus, where they’re the middle bit and the brothers branch off from them.

Before the events of the first chapter of Wishbone, there were no mage/monster soulmate bonds.

Nobody has ever survived an attempt to break a soulmate bond.

For Wishbone, it was important to have two differing cultural views on soulmates because I wanted there to be a huge disparity between how Sans and Papyrus approach the bond compared to the reader. This choice was made for a few reasons, but mostly for maximum angst potential lmao (the driving force behind most Wishbone related decisions). I wanted the soulmate phenomenon to be deeply respected and revered by the monsters, a cultural tenet akin to children wearing stripes and respect for the monarch. A Big Deal, basically. This is juxtaposed with the reader’s disdain and ignorance - they have no idea how any of this works because soulmates weren't a Thing before the barrier broke, and they don’t really care to know, because the bond is nothing but a Big Problem they plan on rectifying. Yay to miscommunication and misunderstanding!

Now, for the monsters to feel that reverence, there has to be some advantage to having a soulmate Underground, right? Particularly in the cut-throat environment of Swapfell (or any Fellverse in general) - if this was just another glaring weakness ready to be exploited, everyone would do their best to avoid meeting their soulmate.

This brings us to:

Soulmates in a Fell Underground; what’s so good about having a soulmate, anyway?

First off, let’s talk about the downsides.

The biggest one is if your soulmate dies, that’s it for you too. You share HP and if you’re both drained, you’re dust. No second chances. This is obviously a massive, easily exploited weakness, and one that I think would’ve shaped the way soulmates cohabitate and interact with each other. I mention in the second chapter of Wishbone that typically the weaker monster(s) will move in with the stronger; this is one of those things that would’ve arisen to protect against this weakness. I think collars would exist for a similar reason in this universe.

Soulmate sickness. An issue if you’re separated from your soulmate, but it would’ve been much rarer Underground. In terms of sheer physical space available, it’d be pretty hard to get physically far enough to cause major issues, and like Papyrus says in Wishbone, soulmates don’t try to avoid each other. The situation in the fic is practically unprecedented.

For the stronger monster, you’re now responsible to ensure the survival of someone(s) weaker than you. Kinda hard to just look out for number one now. You’ve got a whole other person/group of people to keep safe and happy. That's a lot of pressure!

For the weaker monster, you might now find yourself the target of someone seeking to hurt your stronger soulmate(s).

All of that really sucks. There’s gotta be some pretty good benefits to offset all of those downsides.

And there are!

You get to share HP, EXP, LV. We’ve touched on the negatives, but there’s a huge advantage to this too. Not everyone’s bound to a soulmate. In a fight with an unbound person vs a bound one, the bound one theoretically has access to double the power.

Having a soulmate gives you a built-in ally, someone you can trust to have your back. They’ll always have your best interests at heart, because their interests are yours. Underground, this would’ve been an advantage to have over your unbound counterparts who can’t really trust their allies fully.

There’s also all the stuff Papyrus said when he was telling the Second Mage about the origin/purpose of soulmates. Monster souls are composed of love, hope, and compassion, and they inherently seek connection with others. He explains that soulmates have existed for as long as monsters can remember, as a way for souls to find individuals who can fulfill their need for hope, trust, love, and compassion. In an Underground where finding this with others was scarce, this is a big bonus. (As a side note, I think this adds a new layer to Sans’ glove wearing. The gloves actively prevent him from touching others and finding a soulmate. For a tactically minded person who is very aware of the strategic bonus of a soulmate, it says a lot that he's purposely passing up on all of those benefits.)

And that’s just all the purely practical stuff. Finding your soulmate(s) is highly romanticised. A bright spot in the otherwise bleak Underground. The stuff of fairytales - literally, Sans talks about telling those stories to Papyrus in chapter 2. There’s a reason Papyrus is so excited to be a soulmate (note that he’s not fussed about who that soulmate actually is).

Okay, but now the barrier’s broken and everyone’s above ground. Now what?

Great question, hypothetical person!

Firstly: a whole lotta monsters find their soulmates in humans. Remember how monsters can have soulmates in monsters and/or humans? This means that lots of monsters Underground were unable to meet their human, above ground soulmates. Now that they're free, this changes. This is a mostly good thing for the monsters, but I'm sure that a lot of humans in pre-existing relationships now had to grapple with the fact that they're now telepathically bound to their literal soulmate after accidentally brushing hands at the grocery store.

In the wider context of human society, I think there’d be mixed reactions, but what’s more shocking, monsters having soulmates or the mere existence of monsters in the first place? I think by the time everyone gets over the monster thing, the whole monster soulmate thing would be a lot less crazy in comparison.

In the context of mage society - before Wishbone, this just wasn’t an issue, because everyone thought that monsters can’t have mage soulmates. We’re now dealing with the fallout from realising that isn’t the case in the fic.

Where does this leave us?

A fun angsty playground to play around in, full of pits and spikes and traps, in my opinion! There’s so much cultural stuff that the reader insert in Wishbone just doesn’t get. Rules and norms and expectations that they know nothing about and can't really learn on their own, because so much of this knowledge is passed down through oral storytelling.

This is just another issue the characters need to contend with - they aren’t on equal footing for a million reasons, and one of those reasons is that they all know and believe different things about the bond and nobody is communicating about any of it. Well, Papyrus tried, but was shut down immediately. Which makes sense - he tried because he wants to have a proper, close bond with the reader, the kind he's wanted his whole life, and the reader shut it down because they have no interest in any of that. Not to mention round-the-clock glove wearing Sans, who has some pre-existing Issues with the idea of having a soulmate altogether.

But like Papyrus said, the supposed purpose of the bond is to help people get their fix of love, hope, and compassion, things that all three of them need if they ever want to be truly happy. In particular; Papyrus is desperate to be loved, and also doesn’t love himself; Sans has put so much space between himself and compassion as a protective measure over the years that it’s almost completely foreign to him, both feeling it for others (note that the Second Mage invokes reluctant compassion in him almost immediately, despite how much he hates them) and accepting it from those who care about him; and the reader, someone so focussed on building a better future for others, is completely without hope on a personal level because they see no future for themselves in the wake of the loss of their twin.

So, in theory, this whole soulmate thing could be good for all of them. I guess we'll just have to see if that's the case in practice.

[rocketturtle4]

Arthrit was my Favourite Character and I want to write about him; My reflection on the SOTUS Franchise as a newbie

In brief: I am attempting to understand the growth of Thai BLs by watching ABL’s understand the history of thai bl list on the Thai master post. I’m more interested in the growth and change on screen than the tracking of different actors/directors etc. but I do enjoy reading about those things. I am concurrently understanding the history of All BL by watching the Foundation Syllabus lists as well, I am not planning to review everything, but I adored SOTUS and I’ve started following @waitmyturtle’s journey through oldgmmtv and was surprised by our different initial takes on SOTUS and to a lesser extent the SOTUS franchise so I thought I’d share my own feeling about the shows. Yes I know ‘twas a while ago.

I don’t know anything about the actors as people and have minimal knowledge of the IRL ship drama (just aware that there was drama)

Disclaimers:

THIS POST IS LONG (LIKE LONG LONG), and I cut out so much you wouldn’t believe

Obviously, these are my own thoughts, I am not expecting everyone or even anyone to agree, I’m just sharing.

I only talk about Arthrit and Kong in this post, I enjoyed the side couples but I was much more invested in the main one and that’s what I want to talk about.

Not defending Gay for you as a damaging trope

Not defending blushing maiden and sex negativity as damaging tropes

Damaging tropes suck and being aware of them while viewing content is important for not internalising their message for yourself or your perception of others.

I’m demisexual FYI (My sexuality suddenly felt relevant halfway through my reflection so Imma put it here)

General SOTUS Thoughts

In writing this I have realised my attachment to Arthrit started later in the franchise than I thought but eh still mostly going to write about him.

Bullying/hazing (I didn’t mind this time) – I don’t like Hazing or bullying, but the way it was portrayed here, as a form of relationship building which was openly discussed as damaging and then improved on as part of the arc was fine for me. It was about recognizing the good parts of a practice and removing the bad and I was cool with that.

Kongpob (I’m a fan) – He’s hard working, he’s snarky, he’s clearly got good learning habits and cares about his education, he’s supportive of his friends and he stands up for injustice. I was definitely watching SOTUS for this character in the beginning.

Disparate personalities and positions of power (And the different ways our leads present as authority) (there’s also obvs age dynamics at play)

Arthrit is older but also the shyer and less expressive, his assumption of leaderships feels less aligned with his personality and so he cares more about maintaining his professionalism, first as head Hazer and later as an employee while Kong is an intern. (This does not make him a bad leader I think he’s a good one).

Kong is a natural leader, shown overwhelmingly by his standing up for his peers and their inclination to elect him as the campus star and then as the representative (which he runs away from cause he’s already got enough on his plate). His comfort with his own authority is a part of his pursuit of Arthrit and also his differing experience with Authority. (I think the way he bonds with P’Paga the scary office lady is a great example of this difference, he has good instincts).

This feels important to me as Arthrit is holding onto that authority a lot tighter than Kongpob, he’s working to maintain it because it’s NOT natural.

OKAY Onto Arthrit’s Arc and why I found it so impactful.

First up I can tell you the exact moment I fell in love with Arthrit’s character, it was right…

Here (Please study hard P'Arthrit)

(His eyes my good people, they had me and they never lost me) (I literally learnt how to GIF just so I could keep this moment forever) (Episode 13) (I mean, I found a GIF generator) From this point on I was watching this entire franchise for the way Arthrit emoted with his eyes first, and everything else second.

But let’s back up slightly.

My take on Arthrit’s emotional arc through the early parts of SOTUS was essentially:

Why is the first year defiant-flirting with me?

This first year is incredibly clever and that’s dangerous because it could undermine my authority and I want this program to be successful (He did recommend him as campus star, and comment to himself/his friends about not underestimating Kongpob, we had clearly early signs that Arthrit thought Kongpob was pretty amazing, he just couldn’t show this because of this authoritative position) (also age dynamics = a big deal in Thailand)

Then we had the sleep confession (He’s never really sleeping)

Arthrit’s panic over the fact that his sort of friend, definite nong who is a guy apparently had feelings for him

This manifested as his removing himself from Kongpob to work through and process his own emotions, my personal feelings on this were that Arthrit’s reaction was more confused than disgusted and he was trying to avoid a confrontation so he could figure himself out without hurting Kongpob. (There was also some unresolved feelings in here for his highschool friend that needed to be dealt with).

Not the ideal move and poor Kong was so confused and got hurt anyway but then we got to

“I don’t know you well enough Kongpob… But I want to know you more”

Now I seriously appreciated this because I often feel frustrated when characters emotions just immediately match: like one person confesses and two days later other person is like, oh turns out I am also madly in love with you. Boom. Couple. (This does sometimes make sense in the story, just not always).

Arthrit’s emotional response of: Yes I think I like you but I’m still figuring it out so do keep flirting with me so I can keep figuring it out…

I liked it.

Now immediately after this, Arthrit kisses Kongpob (mutual kisses yay!). I don’t take this as say, a final cementation of their relationship (as the kiss often seems to be treated, especially in K BL) but as an expression of interest.

Kiss = I am interested in you romantically, let’s flirt more/date to get to know each other so our feelings can develop.

Then we got to see Arthrit melt (the eyes conveyed it, I adored) honestly it was their tiny little movements that I liked the most and you can’t see that here but still.  

Also his shy little smiles.

I totally think that the attraction here is not conveyed by Arthrit’s character the same way Kong’s but to me this reflects

Kong’s more straightforward and open personality + plus his self confidence (Seme dynamics definitely factor into this since these are characters not real people)

Arthrit being more uncertain as to his own emotional state, AND his greater shyness with expressing his emotions publicly (uke dynamics obvs - but not too pronounced I think). I like how the actor conveys these emotions. (whether or not it was intentional)

People have different levels of comfort with any kinds of PDA and that’s okay (look I’m not sure if blushing maiden trope arguably comes into play here but to me some people are shyer of affection than others and I personally feel that for Arthrit, this early on, his emotions were pretty clear and his responses makes sense.)

And then at the end of episode 13 we handed over the gear

In episode 14 we had a bit of drama because it’s early days and Arthrit is just realising he likes a popular boy

Jealously thou name is Arthrit

But things get resolved (by accident by Kongpob’s gift, amusing) and so we have the public declaration (like the kiss earlier this is instigated by Arthrit which I appreciate because he’s the one with the boundaries being crossed in this scenario). His little smile and duck down to hide his face felt very authentic because he’s not a PDA person and so he feels a bit embarrassed about drawing attention to himself.

And they had a good convo afterwards too + Kiss etc but I really want to get onto:

SOTUS S

(Because episode 15 of SOTUS is over the time jump it's included here)

Thoughts on the stuff that happens during the time jump (e.g. the end cut scenes of some episodes).

We had 2 scenes which stuck in my mind from this time, the piggyback ride ("you are my faen after all") after Kong hurts himself.

(THE EYES)

AND

Arthrit handing over the metaphorical power to the future head hazer.

I personally felt this scene was super important because it showed us:

Arthrit simping all over his boy being authoritative and flirting back with the same lines Kong had once used, in a public space.

Arthrit’s continued uncertainty, NOT (in my opinion) with the idea of being openly affectionate with his boyfriend (what do you call his face above if not openly affectionate) but with having his professionalism undermined by being asked to kiss said boyfriend in front of a whole group of his peers while he is technically their leader (plus they will tease him).

Look it's dark here, and I know my love of his eyes and their emotions is irrational but to me that gaze says: “you know I love you, but why are you doing this HERE.” @waitmyturtles, this was the thing I found most discrepant about your thoughts and mine, to me Arthrit’s emotions were conveyed so clearly by Krist, even in SOTUS but especially in SOTUS S. I was so absorbed by Arthrit sometimes I got completely distracted from Singto’s (excellent) portrayal of Kong.

Onto the main timeline of SOTUS S

(How many of my images of Arthrit being a simp can i put it here to justify my having them in the first place) (I restrained myself a lot you have to believe me)...it turns out I hit the limit, enjoy!

(I started doing a quick flick through the show to check my continuity but then I wanting to add stuff so I stopped and I'm trusting my brain)

We get an early sign that their relationship is going strong with their mutual missing of each other: Arthrit’s visit to campus and seeking Kong out because he misses him, and Kong telling Arthrit he has a duty to him as his faen and convincing Arthrit to stay the night with him because he misses Arthrit.

(They're both so doting naaaaww)

Later, we have this scene where Arthrit goes to tell his coworkers he has a faen and gets interrupted ("well I…") Now we don’t know this for sure, but he drew himself up and prepared to face it and then sort of deflates when he missed the chance, so I’m projecting and that’s what I think.

There’s some bumps in the road while they navigate their new seperation and Kong hits a boundary of Arthrit’s he clearly didn’t know existed when he showed up at Arthrit’s work. (I think this is again more of a personality thing, Arthrit is still figuring out his position and authority in the company and feels very unsure about having his male faen show up to his office without warning. This is not the university space where everyone around them knows they’re dating, it’s DIFFERENT. Kong on the other hand is the kind of guy who totally would have interrupted everyone at that dinner to be like, actually I cook dinner for my man. All. The. Time.) Anyways, they talk, Kong visits work in a planned way, and things are more settled and physical (have some more photos, justify my having them in the first place)

until…Kong shows up at work, and then after they sort of talk, Kong shows up next door.

Now while writing this I had a personal realization that I need to check in about (detailed in small text below the next photo) but first.

This moment makes everything else in the Arthrit’s arc make sense to me, to me he’s feeling uncertain about fundamental aspects of their relationship, rather than purely being temporarily hurt by Kongpobs actions, he internalises this uncertainty about their communication.

This is then kind of resolved but then made much worse by Kongpob moving in next door. (Yes Kong says it's to be close while giving Arthrit space, but doesn't Arthrit deserve to be part of that decision?) (We don't see how much they communicated prior to this, but it seems to me that Arthrit's point here, about losing faith in their ability to talk to each other is super relevant)

(Personal note, how secure I feel in a relationship directly affects how comfortable I feel physically in the relationship, and I don’t mean ‘I’m sad so I don’t feel like having sex right now’ I mean, ‘the foundation of our relationships feels less stable and as a result my comfort with physical things, especially sexual intimacy feels significantly reduced’

I THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL Y’ALL

Having sat and thought about it right now, I don’t think that’s actually the case for the majority? like not all the time at least? This made me think about my personal reaction to watching Nevertheless a few months ago (a kdrama) and I was crazy uncomfortable with the discrepant emotional comfort vs physical desire plot, (I finished it, because I had to, because leaving in the middle would have been worse but just, No.) I mean I get sex without feelings, sure, or with budding feelings, but sex while you’re feelings have moved from stability to instability or are just floundering in instability without resolution?. Possible? Absolutely. Comfortable? No way.

Is this a demisexual thing? (I'm demi if you missed the disclaimer at the top) Is this a me thing? I am going to examine this more but for now you have my facts and perspective and we’re moving on)

(also this relationship being kind of ace has actually been put forth by ABL (here) and most likely others. I had previously read this post and moved on (because I hadn’t seen SOTUS), so I just wanted to say this is not a Tumblr revelation, just a me revelation)

I may be projecting but…

I adored the way the actor continued to show Arthrit’s foundational uncertainty in where their relationship was going/at, through his discomfort with being physical with Kong even after he’d consciously forgiven him. (Okay definitely projecting)

Episode 7, where Kong gets hurt by the door and is forgiven, but Arthrit still seems kind of uncomfortable with the physical side of things both here and in the next episode.

Plus the excellent scenes where Arthrit keeps telling Kong off for giving him food and then ends up yelling, and Kong goes back to being uncertain about where the line is. (Arthrit needs to talk more I'll admit it).

Arthit during the scene where Kong professes his uncertainty, because it's another screenshot I already had. (HIS. EYES.)

BUT because Arthrit realises he's hurt Kong, they talk about it and tada: Arthrits more comfortable physically again next ep, because he’s more certain of his relationship again.

We get beaches

(seriously Arthrit’s little smile, I’m dying) and fun times and kisses

(I have so many screenshots in here everyone, it's concerning)

And then:

Arthrit get’s double shaken again (Dad + Photo) (and he processes things by taking physical space. AGAIN.) (still totally relatable but I’m actually kind of annoyed with him for not saying a word to Kong now that I’m writing it down, I was not at all annoyed when I watched it, for the record)

And then Kong goes “OKAY THAT’S IT” and expresses his (totally justifiable) uncertainty about what is going on, because Arthrit keeps not being clear and can’t they actually talk about things!! So Kong gives him back his gear and leaves. My take on this was basically:

Kong: You need to be sure you want to be with me.

Arthrit: wait what, you’re leaving? But you’re always there? You’ve been hurting? Oh no I’ve hurt you? *cries* *Processes* *Publicly declares feelings* There I fixed it.

To me, Arthrit was never uncertain about whether or not he Loved Kong (Is this in question?, I don't know), he was just navigating the stability of his existing relationship in a new environment with many new revelations. And I believe that, because, even through the uncertainty, Arthrit continued to stare at Kong with such intensity that I couldn’t look away.

Hmm despite that, I think this reflection has actually left me a little bit less obsessed with Arthrit (definitely a good thing, I realized after I finished SOTUS S that I have 48 screenshots of Arthrit’s face staring at Kong with different adoring expressions and that is… too many).

For me, Arthrit’s emotional arc was so captivating because of the way Krist acted throughout, his expressions (HIS EYES) and the links between his emotions and his physical comfort were compelling and I was sucked into his emotional journey above all else. Did the actor intend this? I don’t know, but I had a great time. I almost feel like I need to rewatch SOTUS S just to pay attention to Singto more because he was kind of sidelined for me.  

OUR SKYY SOTUS (the quickest summary because the words are totally out of hand)

(I totally had more pics from our skyy but I've apparently hit my limit oops)

We had some lovely relationship comfort and stability followed by compelling drama and then resolution. I loved it.

The drama is basically just Arthrit going: oh no you’re leaving, what if I make things harder for you, what if things end, how will I live, *get’s bad advice about breaking up* we should take a break because I love you way too much.

Kong: You complete moron, I love you and that’s why we’re supposed to stay together, now I’m leaving tomorrow, and you better prove you love me too by showing up.

Arthrit: *takes time to process* Oh yeah cool cool, I totally love you a lot *shows up and decides to travel with him for a little bit because these boyfriends be clingy*

But with all the excellent acting.

(Tiny note, my understanding is that this performance might be more compelling because Krist is expressing more emotions, but I took that as the first time Arthrit had actually tried to talk about and express his feelings, due to feeling stable enough to do so (all previous space taking was emotional processing). So there isn’t a single scene in SOTUS or SOTUS S where I would have expected this level of emotion (except for when he realized Kong was leaving because Kong was hurt). I would have found it confusing because Arthrits clearly a brooder. So he doesn’t talk to Kong while he’s hurting (an incorrect choice but one he continues to make) and so only the attempt to speak about his emotions here induces this level of physical display.

I cry more when I try to talk about my emotions, anybody else?)

CHEERS FOR READING

ALSO, I appreciate all you Tumblr master posters so much more now (I swear I already appreciated you lots!! but seriously I thought this would take like an hour or two and it DID NOT - and I'm not even meta-ing just throwing my thoughts on a page)

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

I have a pretty weird idea. What if there were two dominate humanoid species co-habiting on a planet instead of one? However, they actually look pretty much the same, except they're not actually sexually compatible. It was only when scientists actually learned how to look at DNA did they realise they were different and the source of incapability. They had no idea what was compatible or not... they just saw a lot of couples simply unable to bear children so there was a lot of sperm donors. Sperm donation was done the old fashioned way by spoon - remember this is in the distant past. I'd say that matchmakers had a massive role in society. Not only do they connect couples but also these sperm donors.

Now, I'm trying to think from the view of the past scientists, doctors, and herbalists of this world. What did they believe created a child? They had to do a lot of studies on which couples actually produced children and which did not. They had herbs, medicines, etc... that boosted fertility and that - but obviously were useless for incompatible species. Also, how did they even understand actual fertility problems? Or is that practically insignificant due to incompatible species completely overshadowing it all?

Anyway, all of that is in the past. The story I'm creating is in the modern day where everyone knows about DNA and the revelation that there are actually two species and they have known for 200 years. How would that change society? What would cause them to continue to marry interspecies and continue utilising sperm donations? What would cause them to create species separation? Remember, they all look exactly the same. Sure, there are racial traits and that... and the usual racism will occur. But there's no way you can look at someone and determine their species... until you take a look at their DNA.

Also, exactly how viable is this idea even? That two species have DNA that is incompatible enough they can't create children but also look indistinguishable until DNA was discovered. What would make sense in discribing their chromosomes and genes? I'm not really doing anything very scientific with this but a basic description like what the chromosomes look like, how many there are etc.

Tex: I’m very fascinated by your concept of assisted reproductive technology, because the technology does require some study into genetics in order to analyze failure points in artificial reproduction.

In this instance, I would look not to science, but to folklore and mythology - history usually preserves itself in some way, and archaeology as a field science is frequently used to verify the substance of historical claims. Something like genetic incompatibility would likely be recorded by someone, somewhere, and preserved in some fashion - be it creation myths, linguistic quirks, dietary patterns, migration patterns, etc.

Would genetic engineering “fix” the incompatibility issues? How much of an impact of sharing the same niche environment would have on genetic drift from their ancestors, in terms of eating the same foods in the same environment, the evolutionary pressures in flora, fauna, bacteria, etc? Would these two species actually care to force reproduction on disparate species - do they have a reason to do so? The definition of a species is very complex, and reproduction does involve a lot of studying of gene pools. Ultimately it’s up to you what you choose to include, and what sort of internal consistency you wish to apply to your worldbuilding.

Blue: I would theorize that it is feasible for two different species to be similar enough phenotypically (in looks) yet distinct enough genetically to make it impossible for them to produce offspring. However, I would argue that there might still be a possibility of hybridization, which on the surface might look like genetic compatibility – except the offspring of such unions is often infertile (at least in animals). This might be an interesting angle to explore.

Societally, I would expect arranged marriages to be a pretty significant part of it. In all likelihood, the society would have spotted certain trends and patterns, and tried to use them to their advantage. What form it would take – a socially approved intermingling or two isolated societies – seems more of a narrative choice and would be rooted in the history/histories of both species.

A list of questions that might be fun to explore:

I wonder how queer relationships would be perceived in such a society. If the society approves of interspecies’ marriages and does not take it as something abhorrent, how would it reflect on other groups that are deemed outside the norm in our society, specifically on the basis of sexuality? It seems there’d be a whole new layer of reproduction politics. Reproduction isn't the only excuse people use to discriminate against queer people and queer unions, but it has been a popular rhetoric to demonstrate how unnatural these unions are, and it is frequently used to this day, even after assisted reproductive technology has become more commonplace.

To add on to this point, history of sexuality, gender, and queerness is actually quite complex; in different places and at different points in time, people had different ways to conceptualize and contextualize them. I would think it would be even more prominent in an interspecies’ society; then again, it might swing in a completely opposite direction.

For family structures, I’d like to float the idea of polygamy/polyamory – if the species are indeed mixed and there is a lot of uncertainty about the possibility of offspring, this could be one of the solutions.

In the same vein – is adoption a thing in this society? How accessible is it? Are there any additional factors that might motivate parents to give up their child?

If we take DNA testing as one and only sure way to determine whether the couple is compatible (which, even if scientifically proven, would likely be just one of the ways people use) – there’s a question of accessibility to such testing. Does it create disparity? Are there people who would like to do it but don’t? Do some people object to these kinds of tests on moral, cultural, or religious grounds?

Ebonwing: By all accounts, these two species lived and built societies together for a very long time. There’s no real life precedence for this so it’s even more up to you which way you want to take this than usual, but in my mind, I would find it very strange if they didn’t continue living together as they’re used to after finding out. People who want biokids (and people who don’t) might take it into account when looking for partners, but this is a society where sperm donations seem very normalised, as opposed to our world where it’s more of a last ditch effort if things don’t work out “naturally”. I wouldn’t find it strange if there’d always be people who just partner up and do the sperm donation/surrogate option. 

Addy: If people from Gene Group A can only have children with other people from Gene Group A, then you’d probably get some kind of fancy record-keeping practice, to see which families can have kids with which other families. They may not get why, but people are pretty good at finding patterns over time. You may even get historical practices where people try conceiving a child before officially tying the knot, to see if they’re compatible or not. Could make for a pretty interesting court drama, now that I think about it. After all, if you’re trying to make a political alliance, then a kid’s gotta come from somewhere.

To keep marrying interspecies in the “modern” day... well, if having children of your specific genetic combination isn't a big deal to you, then you get married for all the normal reasons - alliances, romance, stability, etc. If you specifically want kids with your genetics, then either look for your gene group or look for donors/surrogates. It'd probably be a very common first date discussion - do you want kids? Which species are you? (it'd probably be a field on dating apps tbh) Is it important to you for any theoretical kids to be a genetic combination between us, or are you okay with taking genes from elsewhere? 

Adoption could also be a huge thing, kinda like it was with the Romans (where an adopted child held all the same rights and privileges as a blood child). That could fill some gaps in the societal niche.

Stealing a line from Wootzel: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, and from the Smith line, must be in want of a marriage with an Evans wife."