#Shakali

[trevlad-sounds]

Sleep Space 5

09.09.2024

Wac-Lounge-Unknown Beach 00:00 Allness, Lightwerx Collective-Slow Drift 04:46 David Cordero-Jana’s Bedtime Song 08:11 Maxime Dangles-Operate 10:54 scav-The Second VI 13:14 Shakali-Ensisäie 21:27 Michael J. York-And They Shall Have Stars 25:14 Furio Di Castri, Paolo Fresu-Brooklyn 31:04 Earthroom-Chartreuse 32:51 Asher Levitas-Above The Pale Green 38:27 Steve Roach-Reflections in Repose 41:48 Dawn Chorus and the Infallible Sea-Vale 1:10:07 Metric System 1981-Summer Stars 1:17:29 Desolate Horizons-I Became the Amber Sky 1:19:52 Wac-Lounge-Floating Plants 1:22:12 morimoto naoki-asa 1:25:57 Marco Lucchi-“I could sleep for a thousand years” (extended version) 1:27:59 Navaja Opinel-Baloons For Alba 1:32:12 Nils Frahm-Tuesdays 1:37:16 Metric System 1981-To The Moon 1:41:06 Earthroom-Easel 1:42:20 Rhucle & morimoto naoki-Wasuremizu 1:45:51 silentwave-NAZCA 1:48:57 Earthroom-Soft Counterpoint 1:53:44

[burlveneer-music]

Shakali - Rihmastossa - "Shakali" is based on the musician's name, but after hearing the music I suspect the similarity to "Laraaji" is not a coincidence

Based in the South Moravian city of Brno, Finnish multi-instrumentalist Simo Hakalisto aka Shakali crafts surreal terrariums of strings, synthetics, wood, and wind, teeming with bio-electronic synchronicities. Rihmastossa further finesses the project’s eclectic lexicon of electro-acoustic world-building, utilizing a gallery of instruments both ancient and advanced: solar-powered sine wave generators, singing bowls, metallophones, microtonal synths wired into tree slabs, lap harps, amplified found objects, percussion filters, flutes. This is world music in the most naturalistic sense – subtle spatial ecosystems of climate, vibration, landscape, and species, as alluded to in the track titles about fungal colonies, extinct birds, rare worms, and pine forests. Hakalisto’s work in various exploratory duos (Gnäw, Lunar Horns, Thistle) has honed his instincts for atmospheric improvisation, but when alone he embeds even deeper into the terrain, acting as conduit as much as creator. Across seven free-flowing fugue states of texture and resonance, his touch simmers beneath the surface, guided by shifting light and hidden hands. Written, performed and produced by Simo Hakalisto. Instrumentation: Meng Qi Wing Pinger, Soma Terra, Tocante Phashi, 5-string and 15-string Kantele, Tocante Karper, Meng Qi Wingie II, Moog Matriarch, modular synthesizer, Gendèr, field recordings, found objects, Critter & Guitari Organelle, percussion, flutes. Soprano Saxophone on 1, 4, 7 by Julian Overall. Singing Bowl on 5 by Matěj Kotouček. Mastered by Jared Carrigan. Design by Britt Brown.

[fareehaandspaniards]

:/ :/ :/ The fact that the way to Upper Cathedral is decorated with the statues of Eldrich creatures that are holding HARPOONS (you know like, weapons specifically designed to hunt marine creatures) :/ Laurence you ASS :/

That was the first thing I thought of xd

[renren-006]

Taken | Draco Malfoy x reader

plot: HP: HBP ramble

a/n: I'm watching the Harry Potter movies and I always remember how much I loved Draco when I was younger! here's a little ramble for ya!

You knew what Draco had to do, the task he got assigned. He had not kept it a secret from you, nor the countless other things that happened to him over the summer. His home was infested with death eaters and occasionally the Dark Lord himself. It scared you. The world's fate rested in Harry Potter's hands while yours and Draco's were meant to be stained with sins. That final year at Hogwarts was brutal, the knowledge that Darco was trying to kill the headmaster in any way besides facing him himself and that Harry seemed to have a keen interest in his affairs.

 

You were not a Gryffindor or Ravenclaw student; you were in Hufflepuff. Draco took a liking to you the first year, and you hung around him and his slithering friends. They weren't all bad, and most of their ideologies behind closed doors were different from what they showed. You loved Draco and he loved you. The relationship between you grew in the third year, and now the two of you knew it was the both of you to the end.

When Draco dragged you out of the astronomy tower after his failed attempt to kill the headmaster you knew you were being taken to the lair of the snakes. He had left the hospital wing with you in toe. You watched from behind him while he stood in front of the headmaster.

“Y/N…you joined Draco I see” He said.

“I love him sir” you told the headmaster, “Things are complectated now”

“I can see that. Loyalties are tested. Are you loyal to Voldomort then?”

“No sir. Just Draco”

“Hmm. A solid loyalty” The sarcasm and wonder dripped form the headmaster's voice. You knew he wondered how much you could trust the blond boy before you, but you knew better. Draco was loyal to you, and to his family, but he would do anything to keep you from harm. Staying with Draco was the safest bet for the coming war. When the others arrived, and Snape killed the professor you ran down the stairs with him. He gripped your hand tight, the look of despair and fear present on his face.

This war was going to destory everyone on both sides. 

Living in that home after what happened to Dumbledore was dark. The amount of death eaters and snatchers that travled in and out of the house made you uneasy. You kept yourself hidden behind the Malfoys, glued to Draco's side. With your wand in hand at all times, Draco would tell you to calm down. He was worried, you could see he was conflicted about the choices and path that had laid itself out for him. When you first saw The Dark Lord, you felt your soul hideaway. No one could be happy around him, the only emotion you felt was pure fear.

“Hm I see Draco has brought a girl home,” he said, walking up to you in the former. He held his hand out to you, wanting your left arm. You glanced at Draco, pleading.

“She shouldent take the mark my lord” Draco said stepping to your side, 

“Draco” Lucious hissed

“Calm down Lucious. If the boy wants to be responsible for her then he may” he spoke. “Your wife dosent bare the mark either Lucious, remember i am kind to your women” he told them. His hand outstretch twords you again, shakaly you gave it to him. He examed your hands. “Pureblooded Hufflepuff” he said nodding his head.

Draco stopped in when The Dark Lord walked away. You missed Hogwarts, you missed your life before the war. Your friends were dead or at Hogwarts, and you knew nothing about what Harry Potter was doing. You hopped he figured out how to stop the Dark Lord fast, you wanted the nightmare to end.

[thomasmartinnutt]

Chance Encounters #010

https://www.mixcloud.com/thomasmartinnutt/chance-encounters-010/

Jeph Jerman, Kasja Lindgren, Lucio Capece & Werner Dafeldecker, Philip Jeck, DJ Shadow, Marina Herlop, Deep Listening Band, Lasse Marhaug & Paal Nilssen-Love, Walter Ruttmann, Dave Philips, Catherine Lamb, Ilhan Mimaroglu, Carlos Casas, Delphine Dora (feat. Gayle Brogan & Le fruit vert), Michael Pisaro-Liu, Bing & Ruth, Beverly Glenn-Copeland, Clara de Asís & Mara Winter, Wendy Carlos, Zhu Wenbo, Alva Noto & Ryuichi Sakamoto, Vanessa Rossetto, Jan Bang & Erik Honore, Shakali, Jed Speare, Eric Glick Rieman, Leslie Dalaba & Stuart Dempster, Cheikh Tidiane Fall, Bobby Few & Jo Maka, Dick Higgins, Adela Mede (feat. Martyna Basta), Red Wine and Sugar, Prefuse 73, Unknown Recordist, Chamber 4, Alessandro Bosetti, William Hooker & Phill Niblock, Richard Bernas & Robert Wyatt

[manbartlett]

Unwind to start your day with a slow-blooming, consciousness-raising mix of Ambient, Spiritual Jazz, Classical Indian, and New Age.

https://www.mixcloud.com/manbartlett/first-light-radio-volume-3/

This month features Josh Johnson, Imani Uzuri, Padma Talwalkar, Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasia, Ustad Amjad Ali Khan, Beverly Glenn-Copeland, Tony Scott, 36, Arushi Jain, Shakali, Low Leaf, Ram Dass, Craig Kupka, Lakecia Benjamin, Azymuth, nubo, Setting, Bedouine, and Discovery Zone.

I’ve really enjoyed making these and if you are looking for something chill but not algorithm driven this might be for you.

✨🪞✨

[oneonenightwithphysics]

SHAKAALJA EVANGEELIJS

SHAKAALJA PRIEKA VEESTS

SHAKAALJA ANATOMIJA

SHakalis - gariigaa autoritaate, garigais lideris. sapratis visu par moreales etikas kodeksa tualetes papiru un feik sabiedriibu, kas komplekso. kas pakljaujas feik news, klujust par pidaru vergu, ar centibu, kvalitati un dirsalishanau darba tikumu megina aizdabaat pidariem, lai tie DOD EEST

[igazikutya]

Grand Traxelektor 2022 – „Sense”

Prológ: Az évek végén érkezik el a szelektor jutalomjátéka, a Grande Summary ideje. Ilyenkor a Zene a nappaliból 3 halmazos apollóniába transzformálódik, expanzulja magát. Az egyik szobában (Mind) középtempós underground elektronika szól, lehet rájuk táncolni, de nem muszáj, simán működnek hallgatós üzemmódban is. Nem kávéházi háttérzene – vagy ez egy ilyen kávéház - de nem is tolakszik, hogy uralja a közös teret. A kettesben buli van, tánczenék, magasabb bpm-ek illetve masszívabb darabok, Move! A harmadik a közkeletű chill-out színhelyek megfelelője: ambient és ambközeli, kortárs és experiment, downtemp elektronika. Ez a klasszikus zenehallgatás helyszíne, ezért ide kerülnek a látens gyöngyszemei ami hiedelmemnek, hogy a mindenkori elektronikus zene, túl a zeitgeist-jain, létrehoz „komolyzenei szintű” műveket, örök darabokat, mély értelmezéssel bíró alkotásokat. Sense. 85 óra 46 percnyi anyag gyűlt össze 2022-ben, ezt válogattam szét, jelentősen megrostálva az állományt.  Gyakran ér az teljesen jogos kritika, hogy a havi Traxelektorok túl széles horizontot fognak át, és randomba-krosszfédbe módban olyan művek kerülnek egymás mögé, amik kvázi ütik egymást. Ilyenkor év végén ez az ellentmondás feloldódik a hármas szintézisben.

Fú! Minden negyedik tracket visszadobott a Spotify, mintha nem szeretnék (ott valakik, a nemtudjukkik) az ambient-et. Nem örülök. Annak viszont igen, hogy elértünk a harmadik fázisba, helyezkedjenek el kényelmesen, zárják ki a dübörgő valóságot és adják át magukat a zenei élménynek! Mert ebben az online hét és félórában a tavalyi év finom underground szépségei hullámzanak át fejünk felett, lengenek körbe minket, az út befelé vezet. A telefonomon fent van mind a 6 év (2016-2022) összes Grand Traxelektora, sőt a három tematika mentén közös playlist-ek is mentve vannak. A „Sense” nevet viselő pedig komoly funkcióval is bír: stresszesebb napokon, fárasztóbbnak érzett, nem kívánt élethelyzetekben valóságos nyugtató elixírként képes hatni, ernyőt képezve (a nagybevásárlások alatt tökéletesen véd embertársaink kisszerűségeitől, a térben szükségszerűen hallható popfostól, és az egész aktus egy békés, célt szolgáló, zenével finomított eseményhullámmá alakul – slide!). Megint nem fogok neveket kiemelni, egyszerűen túl sokan vannak, és a kisebbek is képesek nagyon kellemes meglepetéseket okozni. A Spotify Playlist fontos hiányzóiról megemlékeznék: Anatolian Weapons (még mindig), Concave Reflection, Dalibor Cruz,  Gazelle Twin, German Army (3), interferenc, Jeff Mills, Marco Zenker, Paralell Manifesto (3), Sabla & Đ.K., Shakali, The Future Sound of London, The Utopian Strong, Zemög – az okok mögött ne DJ G. Soros-s gyanítsák, valószínűleg a szerzői kiadások, vagy a periférián ténykedő label-ek, esetleg a kizárólagos web-release miatt alakult így. Ezzel zárom a 2022-es évet, innentől már előre nézünk, hiszen lassan érkezik a januári Zajok a nappaliból az új megjelenésekkel. Kettőezerhuszonháromra pedig azt kívánom magunknak, hogy aktivizálódjanak újra azok az underground nagyvadak, húzónevek és szuperkreatívok, akik a covid-os év előtt meghatározták, szerzeményeikkel uralták a Traxelektorokat. Egy ötven-százas listát tudnék azokból rittyenteni, akik 2019 óta passzívak, hallgatnak, és igazából fogalmam sincs arról, mi is lehet velük? Szeretném, ha újra élvezhetnénk csillogó szellemiségüket, markáns, jellegzetes és kiforrott szerzeményeiket! 

Grand Traxelektor 2022 – „Sense” - Spotify Playlist - link

(83/110, 7:30/10:15, 75%)

Korábbi évek Spotifyon elérhető playlistjei:

Grand Traxelektor 2019 - Special – Spotify Playlist - link

Grand Traxelektor 2020 – „Sense” - Spotify Playlist - link

Grand Traxelektor 2021 – „Sense” - Spotify Playlist - link

Grand Traxelektor 2022 – „Sense” Playlist

Acronym - Albanova [Millennial Lowlife, Benthic] Afrorack - Osc [The Afrorack, Hakuna Kulala] Al Wootton - Doxa [Callers Spring, Trule] Alieno deBootes - Seeding the Clouds [VA - Vapordub - An Introduction to Contemporary Psychedelic Music, Vol. 1, Bamboo Shows] Anatolian Weapons - Black Sea (NVST Waving Edition) [May That War Be Cursed - Vol. 2, Lurid Music] Anatolian Weapons feat. Black Sifichi - Every Corner (Philipp Otterbach Remix) [May That War Be Cursed - Vol. 1, Lurid Music] Andrew Pekler - Shima No Yume [VA - Aquapelago: An Oceans Anthology, Discrepant] Artefakt - The West [Brain Dripper, Delsin] Atom™ - Besame Mucho [Kissing The Black, NN] Axel Boman - One Two [LUZ / Quest For Life, Studio Barnhus] Benedikt Frey - Alleys [VA - Egonlab Dynasty, Chapter II. - Age of Love, Pinkman] Benedikt Frey - Elevator [VA - Sheva, Malka Tuti] Benoit B - Behind the Sun [Kismet, Natural Selections] Benoit B - Karma Du 92 [Kismet, Natural Selections] Biosphere - Interval Signal [Shortwave Memories, Biophon] Biosphere - Transfigured Express [Shortwave Memories, Biophon] Birds ov Paradise - Kajsa [Memorial, Hypnus] Born Under A Rhyming Planet - Hyperreal [Diagonals, DDS] Brendon Moeller - Motor [Highly Concentrated, Delsin] Carmen Villain - Carmen Villain (Actress Remix) [CV x Actress , Smalltown Supersound] Carmen Villain - Subtle Bodies [Subtle Bodies, Smalltown Supersound] Carmen Villain with Joanna Scheie Orellana - Portals [Only Love From Now On, Smalltown Supersound] Commodo - Living Bones [Deft 1s, Black Acre] Concave Reflection - Daylight Portrait [The Best People Are Like Water, Theory Therapy] Cosey Fanni Tutti - Tatum Ergo [Delia Derbyshire: The Myths and the Legendary Tapes, Conspiracy International] Cristian Vogel - Hyphaedelity [1Zhuayo, Mille Plateaux] Dalibor Cruz - 02 [21 De Agosto, Macaruya, Chicago Research] Dalibor Cruz - 06 [21 De Agosto, Macaruya, Chicago Research] Decha - RO 2 [VA - Sheva, Malka Tuti] Dohnavùr - Sunk (Kieran Mahon Remix)[The Flow Across Borders - The Remixes, Castles in Space] Dohnavùr - The Kindness of Others (Richard Norris Remix)[The Flow Across Borders - The Remixes, Castles in Space] Dohnavùr - Twenty There (Warrington-Runcorn New Town Development Plan Remix)[The Flow Across Borders - The Remixes, Castles in Space] Dubokaj Meets Lee Scratch Perry - Cover Me [Daydreamflix, Mouthwatering] Edward Ka-Spel & Motion Kapture - Following The Pieces [Anagramma, Rustblade] Emeka Ogboh - Ayilara [6°30′33.372″N 3°22′0.66″E, Danfotronics] Forest Drive West - Anchor [Recursion EP, Echocord] Franck Vigroux - Total Primus [Atotal, Aesthetical] Funki Porcini - Off The Shoulder Of Orion [Where The Sauce Is Deluxe, Self-Released] Funki Porcini - The Road To Somewhere [Where The Sauce Is Deluxe, Self-Released] Gazelle Twin - Wastelands [The Wastelands, Anti-Ghost Moon Ray] German Army - Songs From A Failed State [Endless Suburb, Natural Sciences] German Army - Transition To What [Endless Suburb, Natural Sciences] German Army - Trees of Paradise [Allocations of the American Nile, Jungle Gym] Golden Bug feat. Tim Glass - Le chant des sirènes [Piscolabis, La Belle] Golden Bug feat. Vega Voga - Kotodama, Pt. II. [Piscolabis, La Belle] Guava feat. Bradley Hutchings - Libelle [Guitarist, Tread] Hagop Tchaparian - Raining [GL / Raining, Text] Huerco S - Plonk VI [Plonk, Incienso] interferenc – lattatlANban [TORZ, Self-Released] Interstellar Funk - Crickets at Night [Into The Echo, Dekmantel] Interstellar Funk - Dreamers (Part I)[Into The Echo, Dekmantel] Ishq - And So They Sleep [Koan, Ishq] Jeff Mills - Transmutation [Mind Power Mind Control, Axis] John Roberts - Horse Hair [Wrecked Exotic, Brunette Editions] Jonas Reinhardt - Oxus [A Ragged Ghost, Trouble In Mind] Komatssu - For A Fairer World [No Place For Poetry, Tensal] Konduku - Özlem [Mantis 09-10, Delsin] Konduku - Scale [Mantis 09-10, Delsin] Kreidler - Unframed Drawings [Spells and Daubs, Bureau B] Lotus Eater - Pendulum [Plasma, Stroboscopic Artefacts] Lucrecia Dalt - Enviada [¡Ay!, Rvng Intl.] Marco Zenker - Far Out G [Channel Balance, Ilian Tape] Metal Preyers - Carpenters Cabin [Shadow Swamps, Nyege Nyege Tapes] Mike Nylons - Remember der Ember [Eneme III., Exile] Mondkopf - Phased Harmony I [Spring Stories, Miasmah] Naomie Klaus - Can You Tell Me What Is Micronet? [VA - Vapordub - An Introduction to Contemporary Psychedelic Music, Vol. 1, Bamboo Shows] Panoram - Beautiful Engines [Acrobatic Thoughts, Running Back] Panoram - Healing Codes [Acrobatic Thoughts, Running Back] Paralell Manifesto - 2044 [2044, Ilian Tape] Paralell Manifesto - Quarter Timeline 401 [2044, Ilian Tape] Paralell Manifesto - Spherical Board [2044, Ilian Tape] Patricia Wolf - A Conversation With My Innocence [See Through, Balmat] Patricia Wolf - Woodland Encounter [See Through, Balmat] Posthuman - Istrebitel Sputnikov [Echo Almaz East, The Dark Outside] Posthuman - Telepresent Marswalk [Echo Almaz East, The Dark Outside] Posthuman - Universal Machinery [Echo Almaz East, The Dark Outside] Reinier Van Houdt - Dream Tract [VA. - Epiphanies, Hallow Ground] Remo Seeland with Laya Ensemble - Baldachin [VA. - Epiphanies, Hallow Ground] rRoxymore - Sun in C [Perpetual Now, Smalltown Supersound] Sabla & Đ.K. - Dove [Totem Society, Worship] Sabla & Đ.K. - Waterflow [Totem Society, Worship] Saint Abdullah - Chiasmatic Relations [Inshallahlaland, Room40] Salamanda - Bubble Bamboo Princess [VA - Vapordub - An Introduction to Contemporary Psychedelic Music, Vol. 1, Bamboo Shows] Saphileaum - Flowing Ray [Ornaments, Oslated] Scanner - Air in the Air [The Homeland of Electricity, DiN] Scanner - Artemovsk [The Homeland of Electricity, DiN] Scanner - Beginning of an Unknown Century [The Homeland of Electricity, DiN] Scanner - Enigma Typher [Struktura Revisited, A Strangely Isolated Place] Shakali - Aurinkopari [Aurinkopari, Good Morning Tapes] Simon Crab - Stack Interchange [Invisible Cities, Space Ritual] Simon Pyke aka Freeform - Mass Murmurations [VA - On In Out, Advanced Public Listening] Soundwalk Collective with Patti Smith - Peradam (Brian Eno Remix)[The Perfect Vision Reworkings, Bella Union] Steve Roach - The Perfection of Solitude [Zones, Drones & Atmospheres, Projekt] Strië - Foxes [Struktura Revisited, A Strangely Isolated Place] Tagliabue - Materia Visible [Un' Altra Forma Di Vibrazioni, Invisible Inc.] tëlemek - Planetary J [Valehdella, Sin Hilo] tëlemek - Vedenalainen Matkailu [Valehdella, Sin Hilo] The Black Dog - Form, Function and Friction [Brutal Minimalism, Dust Science] The Black Dog - Tuckered Out [Concrete Reasoning, Dust Science] The Future Sound Of London - Solar Signal [Rituals e7.001, fsoldigital.com] The Future Sound of London - Temporal Aliasing [A Space of Partial Illumination E7.002, fsoldigital.com / Jumpin’ & Pumpin’] The Oscillation - I Am [Singularity Zones Vol​.​1, Self-Released] The Utopia Strong - Revelations [International Treasure, Rocket] Vril & Rødhåd - Kosmogenesis [Out of Place Artefacts II , WSNWG] Vril & Rødhåd - Security Loop [Out of Place Artefacts II , WSNWG] Warrington-Runcorn New Town Development Plan - Golden Square [Districts, Roads, Open Space, Castles in Space] Warrington-Runcorn New Town Development Plan - The Key To A New Home Of Your Own [Districts, Roads, Open Space, Castles in Space] Woo - Cadenza D'Innocenza [Paradise In Pimlico, Quindi] Zemög - Fogata Chamanica [Guayana, Tepuy]

[little-pomni]

She stared at ADHD, her eye twitching and her whole demeanor obviously unstable "C̶̜͑͛̈̾-̶̛̠̩̌͒͝C̸͍͚̗̙̄̑̋͜a̷̬̾l̸̺̬̞̼̉m̵̨͉̣̝͐͆̔͐ ̷̣̳̓͐̽d̷̲̺̭̾̈́́o̴̢̤̰̘̹̊w̶̪̪̖̅̕͝ṇ̸͇͕̣͐̈́̾͛̕!̶̦̲͆͌̃̚͠!̷͍̪̮͉͌?̶̣͍̗̐̂͗̄?̸̟̩̻̈̀ͅ" She half asked, half shouted angerly before black tears started to fall from her eyes. She held herself, shaking scared of everything happaning and shakaly asked "H̵-̵H̵o̸w̶?̸"

"̷I̸'̷m̷ ̶s̵o̴ ̶s̴c̵a̶r̶e̶d̶"

"̶̩͇͈̩̻͓͊A̷̦̮͐̂A̶̰̝̯̼̦͈̎͜À̸̡́Ȁ̶̡͍̲̬͍̙̍̇̀͝ͅĀ̸̇̐̌͐ͅA̷̢̳̟͖͂Ą̴͍̭͕̟́̎͜ͅA̶̧͚̻̥̺̐̐̍̎Ą̶̧͈̙̱̠̳̟̈́̏̈̉̾̈́̆Ą̴̺͚̺́͂̇̔̃͌Ȧ̷̢̨̡̇A̵̪̋̌̄̌͋̚Ä̶̛̗͈̳̔̍̇͐̕͝Á̷̡̏̽͑̾̇̓͝ͅ-̸̤͎͓͇̌́͐͐͒̃͜!̵̜̣̝̗͑̏̑̌!̶̡̙͔̓̾͠ͅ"̸̜͊͌̃͂

@thattransdudeee

[trevlad-sounds]

Sleep Space 3

26.08.2024

Wac-Lounge-Water and Color 00:00 Nils Frahm-Butter Notes 04:00 encym & Wodwo-Surges 08:17 Binaural Space-The Joy Inside 16:51 Lori Pate-Riverbank Lore 23:32 Rhucle & morimoto naoki-Floating 34:34 Scholars of the Peak-Castle Further Faze (Reprise) 37:28 Shakali-Alin Nila 40:14 FM3, Christiaan Virant-Piano 45:04 Willows8ng-Sky Fades In 49:36 Michael Stearns-Jewel (2024 remaster) 1:00:24 JICS-the baby 1:20:44 Fallen-Slowly, Quietly 1:23:30 The Least, Maybe-everything is different 1:28:09 Rhucle & morimoto naoki-Aware 1:38:20 Slow Reels-Handwritten 1:41:05

[wowitsel]

dear spencer

Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

(not my GIF)

masterlist

Summary: You find out Spencer had been cheating on you, you write him a letter goodbye. (part two)

WARNINGS: suicide, self-harm, language, cheating

Category: ANGST

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: this pic deals with very serious topics. if you ever feel you need anyone to talk to, or just be there for you, I'm here. 

When you woke up in the morning, you smiled when you saw your boyfriend, Spencer, in the bed next to you. Seeing as the two of you both worked at the BAU, having a day off was rare. That’s why it was so strange when Spencer left the house to do “errands”. You were suspicious, rightfully so.

You knew the signs of lying. You were a profiler. You saw how he avoided eye contact when saying “I love you”, and how fidgety he was when saying he was going over to JJ’s.

Every fiber in your body was telling you to say something, but you didn’t.

+++

It was a paperwork day at work, and you were clicking your pen, procrastinating starting the work load, when you saw something. You saw Spencer, texting on his phone.

Dr. Spencer Reid was a technophobe. He never texted anyone, let alone you. So you knew something was up when you saw that.

You, again, felt the urge to say something. But you were so happy with the way things were, why would you want them to change?

+++

About two weeks had passed since that happened, and the team had been on a case, a local one. We were all at the MPD station, working on the case. All of a sudden, Morgan burst out laughing, saying “Ohhhhh pretty boy’s gettin’ some? You and Y/n got it on last night then?.”

“Ummm what?” Spencer replied, looking quite shocked and panicked.

“You got a hickey there Boy Wonder”

Spencer blushed, and then quickly covered it up and said, “Shut up”.

You sat there and said nothing, fully knowing that that hickey was not from you.

+++

One day, about three weeks later, you get a call from Derek, asking if you wanted to go out for lunch.

You accepted the offer, but when you arrived there, you could tell that something was very wrong.

“Hey baby girl. Why don’t you sit down so we can talk.” Derek told you gently.

“Ok”, was all you could say.

“Before I start, I just want you to know that I will always be there for you ok?” He waited till you nodded to resume, “Umm ok so, a couple days ago Spencer came into my office, and he confessed to me what he had done. He told me how he had… been… umm cheating on you. He told me how he met this girl at the coffee shop, and had been sleeping with her for a few months now. He begged me not to tell you and I said I wouldn't but I couldn't not tell you. I just want you to know that I am one hundred percent on your side, and I am so mad at him. I umm stopped talking to him after that…”

You had stopped listening after the words “cheating on you”. Your world turned blue, and cold, and you needed to get out.

“I have to go,” you said to Derek as you ran out of the restaurant, back to your house.

+++

As you opened the front door, you threw your bag on the floor, not caring about the well-being of it. You were sobbing, so many tears were effortlessly flying out of your eyes. You were hyperventilating by the time you got to the staircase. You crawled up the stairs, and went into the bathroom. You twisted the lock closed, just in case anyone tried to get in, then collapsed onto the floor.

Your hot face felt good on the cold tile, but that was the only part of you that felt good.

Your eyes blurred with tears, and your heart sunk down to your stomach. An anxious feeling slowly creeped through your body as it shook, you could taste the saltiness of the tears.

It was so overwhelming. Everything was crashing upon you. The weight of the world was on you, and you felt so helpless.

The bathroom reminded you of Spencer. All the good times you had in there. When he’d wrap his arms around you when you were brushing your teeth, and you’d giggle and say, “Hey! Stop it! I need healthy teeth. Do you not want me to have healthy teeth?”

Reminiscing just seemed to make you cry harder. You thought about how you would never be able to have that again. Not after what he had done. The thought of that made you shudder.

In an attempt to get your mind off of Spencer, you thought about all the other good things in your life, the other things you could live for. But you were hit with the harsh reality, when you couldn’t think of anything. You thought about your parents, who were not the worst parents ever, but never talked to you, or put in any effort. You thought about your brother, he was so mean to you, and never expressed anything that could tell you that he loved you. And lastly you thought about friends, or your lack thereof. Sure, you had a few people who you talked to, every once and awhile, but no one really, to walk with you, and no one who truly cared that much about you.

You desperately tried to think of something to live for. You thought of what Derek had said, “I just want you to know that I will always be there for you ok?”. But your mind shut that down as him just being polite.

You then thought about the rest of the team. You thought that they might care for you. But then the little voice in the back of your head told you that, “No, think about how much longer Spencer has been on the team, they obviously love him more.”

In a far fetched attempt to calm down, you grabbed a glass of water that you had left there. But your hands were shaking so much, that you dropped the glass, and it shattered all over the floor. You picked up a piece of the glass, and you knew what you were going to do.

You knew before you ended your life, you wanted to write a final letter, so very shakaly, you found a pen and paper, and wrote this letter:

Dear Spencer,

I don’t know if I can ever forgive you. You were the person I loved most, the person who brought me the most happiness. But I guess that also gave you the power to hurt me, and damn, did you fucking hurt me.

I still can’t comprehend the fact that Derek was the one who told me. And that you wouldn’t have even told me if he didn’t. If you hadn’t done this, you would still have a best friend, and your girlfriend. But I guess that was your choice.

I wanted to thank you for all the good times we had though. All the times I actually wanted to wake up in the morning because I got to spend time with you, and all the times we would watch the sunset together. We were so happy, or at least I was.

Did I do something wrong, was I a bad girlfriend? Or was I just that bad at fucking that you needed someone better in bed to satisfy your “needs”? Either way, I hope you’re happy now.

You know, when I first met you, I was at rock bottom, and I wanted to leave this world. You gave me something to live for, but now, I’m back where I started.

I can’t do this anymore. The pain is too much. I can’t go into work everyday and see you there. I can’t live knowing that I’m truly alone. I mean I have my parents and friends but none of them truly know me, or even made an effort to do so. I thought you were the one to do that, but I guess I was wrong.

I’m just so tired of this world. I’m so tired of living, of having to do so much everyday. It’s too much for me. I feel so stuck. There’s no way out of this life. I can’t do it anymore.

I guess I just wanted you to know that this is not just because of what you did. What you did was just the trigger. You were the one good thing in my life, but now you’re gone.

You hurt me, but despite that, I still love you. I don’t really know why.

So… I guess this is goodbye Spence.

Maybe we’ll see each other in the afterlife…

I’ll love you forever,

Y/n L/n

When you had finished writing the letter, you folded it, placed it on the counter, and then grabbed a piece of glass.

+++

When Spencer came home that evening, he was totally oblivious to what had happened.

“Hey babe! I’m home! Where are you?” he asked, putting his stuff away.

He first noticed something was wrong when he saw her bag found on the floor, and the residue of tears on the floor.

In a panic, he ran upstairs yelling, “Y/n! Are you ok? Where are you?”.

Due to the nature of their jobs, his mind jumped to all the possibilities of what could have happened, was she kidnapped? Yet he kind of wished she was kidnapped, instead of what he saw.

Spencer saw the bathroom door locked, you never locked the door, and he knew that.

Channeling Morgan, Spencer knocked down the door. The moment he saw you on the floor, tears formed in his eyes, and he screamed out, almost as if he was in pain.

He quickly dropped down to his knees, shaking your body, yelling, “Y/n! Y/n! Please wake up. Please… please… I can’t do this without you.”

He quickly ripped his shirt off, and wrapped it around your wrists, to stop the blood. But before the cuts were wrapped, he saw them, and he knew what had happened.

He warily placed two fingers upon your neck, searching for a pulse. And when he couldn’t find one, he just pressed even harder, desperate to find a heartbeat.

When Spencer didn’t find a pulse, he began to attempt CPR, pressing down on your chest with the little energy he had left. As the minutes passed, it became shockingly apparent that it wasn’t going to work… you were dead.

Choking on the sobs that were threatening to spill out of his mouth, he stood up. How could this have happened? You were so happy. He thought, not knowing that you knew about his affair.

When he went to wash the blood off his hands, he saw your letter on the couture, and began to read it.

Dear Spencer,

[qscarlet]

DreamLand Chapter 3 Eret

*Sorry for the slow update, a lot of personal stuff was happening. But A YouTube videos and a chapter all in the same week!!?? What is this?

Please Subscribe, I am getting better at everything- promise.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxvhZS-BC0UyhECkeX06dbw

Eret leaned against a tree looking out onto the land they built on as the sky darkened, the stars, moon and lanterns lighting up the world. The pride he felt for the land was overshadowed by the dread and fear plaguing his mind and gut.

Something about this seemed different- worse even. Something about this spat didn’t sit well with him and had him feeling off about it. And it wasn’t the first time they argued or fought over something either.

George's head pounded with an intensity to make the space behind his eyes hurt. Every sip of water he took only made him more aware of how hungry he was. Wetness built in his eyes and he kicked the weapons away from him feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

Sapnap and Dream can hit almost every creature they wish to kill; and George can’t even kill a small animal to ease the pain enough so he can focus. He should have been paying more attention to himself but he wanted to feel useful and important to the group, and building a house for their little family looked liked is the only option that he could possibly do well.

He turned his head not even bothering to whip the tears as he saw Mars, Sapnap’s beloved fish. He stared at it longingly in a daze, actions playing in his head of killing it, eating it and finishing the house before they get back. He reached for his axe and crawled towards the fish, taking it out of the bowl. If flopped in his hand and he pressed it to the table to keep it from flopping everywhere.

The ashamed and guilt feeling raised in his gut making him hesitate as he shakaly lifted his axe. He kept trying to tell himself that he can just replace the fish and no one will know. But that didn’t work. He kept remembering the first time they saw Mars, it was flatting around the lake, teasing them as they fished. Even when they got in the water it continued to out maneuver them making all three of them collide in the water.

He started at Mars and it stared back at him breathing heavily and he knew he couldn’t do it. He put the fish back in its tank.

“What are you doing?” The shout started him, making him sob uncontrollably as he realized Sapnap had just seen what he wanted to do to Mars.

His entire body hurt as he mumbled out I’m sorry over and over again. Dream ran into the room seeing George on the ground bawling as Sapnap stood over him shouting and holding an axe. He saw his family broken and going to kill each other.

“Enough.” Dream was between them at an instant, his voice strong, powerful and demanding to be heard and obeyed.

Sapnap dropped the axe wanting to shout and let his anger out but instead he said as calmly as he could.

“George was going to kill Mars.”

Dream looked at George waiting to hear his side only to get tears and apologies.

Dream knelt down to George taking off his mask.

“George can you hear me? Can you tell me what's wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I was so hungry, everything hurts so bad.” Dream pulled George into a hug trying to get him to calm down.

George felt himself move into someone's arms, it felt warm and safe. He latched onto that feeling like a koala bear trying to savor every form of comfort he got.

“Can you go get him some food from my pack, something small please.”

“Why, Dream he was going to kill Mars, you know the fish we found together when we first found this place?”

“I know who Mars is Sapnap, George is starving and by the looks of it overwork himself, he’s in pain.” He emphasized the last word, making Sapnap span out of his angered gaze and really see what was happening.

George was hurt, hurt bad and he needed them.

“Yeah, I'll be right back. I think I still have some berries left.”

Things weren’t perfect in this place called home, not everyone gets along all the time. It almost felt like a large family- can get angry and hate each other one minute but turn around and help each other the next. Most likely because of a parent telling them to but the similarities worked in Eret's mind.

Perhaps if they had someone like that- a leader to tell everyone what to do to an extent then maybe everything could be resolved faster and without much conflict.

“I wish this would just end.”

Eret closed his eyes, his hair rustling in the wind. Panting and loud footsteps came from behind him, his muscles tightened at the intrusion before hearing Tubbo’s voice.

“Hey...can you...come...with me...to the mines?” It took Tubbo almost 30 seconds to get the question out from his heavy breathing.

“Of course dude, what cave did you want to go into?” Eret pushed off the tree holding his arms out to let Tubbo lead the way.

“The one by la manburge.”

His head snapped back to the child in shock. He had a feeling it was bad but not this bad. Tubbo too his shock as confusion and tried to clarify.

“Wilbur and Tommy picked the name, they said they needed to choose a strong name to intimidate the tyrant Dream and his team.”

It chilled Eret to the core at how...agreeable and accepting Tubbo was at everything. How he almost seemed eager to call the Dream Team tyrants and turn on them so easily.

“Yeah it definitely sends a message.”

They came up to the cave entrance seeing it’s opening just down a small hill. Tubbo stilled when he saw who was in front of it talking to each other.

“They can’t be here, this is our land.”

Tubbo took off toward Sapnap and George who were having what looked like a peaceful conversation.

“Tubbo don’t.” Eret took off after him, his longer legs almost able to keep up with the smaller, younger and stronger human.

“You traitors, this is our land, this cave belongs to la manburge. Leave before I make you.”

George looked confused at what Tubbo was saying, while Sapnap just looked pissed. His brown eyes looked like they were on fire, his muscles tensed ready for a fight.

“What the hell are you talking about, this is everyone's land, not yours.”

“Not anymore.” Tubbo tilted his chin up a tad in defiance.

“What are you going to do about it, child.”

Tubbo went to take a step forward and speak for a nation that wasn’t, shouldn’t and doesn't want not be spoken for right now. Eret pulled Tubbo to his chest, his hand coming around over his mouth to muffle his words.

“Tubbo, why don’t you head in and I’ll deal with this.”

He didn’t let Tubbo answer, he shoved him fiercely towards the opening, staring at Sapnap to make sure he didn’t move to attack. George looked like he had put the dots together.

“Gentleman, I think we all know that a lot has happened, I would like to talk to Dream and make a...compromise.”

“What kind of compromise?” George piped up confused about what Eret’s getting at.

“I want to talk to Dream.”

George and Sapnap looked at each other for a second before Sapnap spoke up.

“We can make that happen.”

[appri-dot]

UH....*LOOK AT FLARE* THIS IS A BAD TIME, I KNOW BUT, DO YOU...WANT THE APPLE SAUCE?- IF YOU DO. BE NICE, OK?

*Flare shakaly reached out for the apple sauce and took it, he laid twitching on the ground eating apple sauce, kinda sad, but atleast it distracts from the pain*

[yokomarikawa]

Dear All, Thank you so much for your love and caring for Kaori Violin Concerts! your applause, cheering, praise, and support are the motivation for us to continuously perform the violin concerts for all.

~~We are together going through this unprecedented COVID pandemic. Let's be together, stay safe, be happy, and stay strong!

Kaori Marikawa

received the Oakland County Proclamation Honoring Kaori Marikawa for her contribution to the community!  It's a great honor and motivation for

Kaori Marikawa

and more young people!

Kaori Marikawa

Facebook:

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Twitter:

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Children waited at the lakeside to ask for

Kaori Marikawa

autograph, their moms said "They want your autograph, you are their STAR! You did a great job!" ~ How Lovely!! ~ So glad to see

Kaori Marikawa

inspires more children, young people!

~~ Kaori has pre-made several autographs for you, just wave hands to ask when you see her or leave a message here, we will take it with us to the boats for you!

 ~~ Or get your pens and papers ready, she will sign it or you!

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Thank you Kaori and Yoko  for the Birthday song!!!! with

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DAILYTRIBUNE.COMTroy teen uses her violin to bring a little happiness to her neighborsKaori Marikawa hopes to someday use her positive, optimistic and hopeful beliefs to help make the world a better place for everyone. But right now, the 18-year-old is content on

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is with

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Representative Haley Stevens

posted Kaori Marikawa news on her facebook and Twitter, she wrote : ‪"Thank you for using your talents to make our evenings more bea… See More

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Sandshores Lake has the best photographer! We love beautiful photos thank you for sending us!

~ On Sandshores lake on every Thursday. ~ more and more people came to Sandshores Beach to listen, welcome!~

Kaori Marikawa

is so happy to see people love her music, see people smile, and become happier!!

~~ Today - Friday

Kaori Marikawa

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Kaori Marikawa

5 mutual friends including

Connie Shakalis

and

Tony Huang

Lives in

New York, New York

Message

73

[doggo-kiri]

//he looked at his gun, and shakaly pointed it at koneko// .......

@xxkonekoxx @soft-mute-w-bloody-bandages

[uhhcalvin998]

Are you?

sophia shakalis

Insta: @sophiashakk @smshakalisart