#Sexy Trash (Self)

[ghostfacetheballfondler]

delusions of grandeur are acting up again. except they're extra strong. calling them delusions feels like lying. because are they really delusions if i'm actually right?

everyone around me is so much less than i am. so fucking dumb. proving me right over and over again for the rest of their lives

even my friends, who i thought were better than the average person, ended up proving themselves to be just as inferior.

the only use humans have for me is to look cute while they stroke my ego. they're all the same anyways. replaceable things.

bleh.

[ashwhowrites]

I’m so happy you’re back!!!

Inspired by that thigh clenching breeding kink post with Steve… girl. So so good. 🤤 I beg for one with Eddie if you would be so kind?

Same basic premise. Reader and Eddie are dating. She sees Eddie interacting with a toddler and some kids in the trailer park, playing with them etc etc. Tells him he’s going to be a great dad. Eddie laughs it off and without thinking says something self deprecating about no one wanting to have a kid with trailertrash. Reader doesn’t like that at all and is like excuse me? You are not trash and I would be proud to let everyone know I’m pregnant with Eddie Munson’s baby. And man oh man eddie goes feral.

Thank you for the Steve one in the first place. Holy hell. 🔥 And thank you in advance if you do decide to write this as well. ❤️❤️

You're welcome!! I'm glad you enjoyed it ;) I hope you enjoy this one as well. Thank you for requesting ❤️

Dad mode

As Y/N watched Eddie play trucks with a little boy in the sandbox she realized she's never seen Eddie interact with a younger kid. She was so used to high schoolers hanging around but not a kid under five.

And it was a damn shame because it was the sweetest thing she's ever seen. Eddie's smile was kiddish as he crashed the small truck into the side of the sandbox. The little boy giggled, following Eddie's actions as he crashed the car.

"Issac! It's time to go, baby," the mom said as she came over. She smiled down at Eddie, "thank you for playing with him."

Eddie smiled and gave her a gentlemen's nod as he stood up. He dusted off his jeans and walked over to where Y/N stood with a dazed smile.

"What?" Eddie asked, hooking his arm around her waist as he walked them to the van.

"You are going to be the best dad ever," Y/N said as she softly pushed Eddie against the car door. She fixed his jacket collar as she smiled. "That little boy loved you."

Eddie scoffed to cover the butterflies flying in his stomach. "Yeah, trailer trash makes great dads. Have you met mine?" Eddie joked, she never met him and neither had Eddie.

Y/N's eyes saddened and her arms scooped around Eddie's neck, softly rubbing his head. "You're not trailer trash. You take care of everyone. The way you are with Dustin? My gosh, it makes me wish I was pregnant with a little version of you. Kids love you because you are great."

Eddie appreciated the heartwarming speech but he was stuck on how tight his jeans got when she said pregnant with his kid. How easily it flies off the tongue and how badly he wanted it to be true. His moves were quick, turning them around as he pressed her against the door. His body smashed against hers, the slight tent in his jeans rubbing against her.

His hand gripped her jaw, smirking as he looked down at her. She could already see the gears turning in his head.

"Are you saying I could be fucking you raw by now?" She was embarrassed by how easily she fell apart in one sentence. Her legs clenched and a whimper left her throat. Eddie mockingly chuckled, his eyes a new shade of black. "You wanna fuck around and get pregnant from a man like me? What does that say about you?" He whispered

"Says I want you to fuck me. Are you man enough to do it, Daddy?" She said with a smile. She loved the way his chest purred. He unlocked the van and yanked her arm, he opened the back of it throwing her in. He slammed the doors shut, locking the bar.

"Wait! Eddie this is a public park!"

Eddie was already taking off his shirt, tossing it to the side as he grabbed her ankles. She fought to do the right thing as he stripped off her pants. "Eddie!" She hissed.

"You imagine me breeding you when I hangout with Dustin and suddenly public sex is too far?" He teased, a sexy smirk on his face as he yanked her soaked panties off. "Because if you say stop," he said, shuffling to his stomach as he placed his head between her thighs, "I'll stop."

Her mouth dropped open as his tongue licked up her folds. If they got caught, they'd be facing cops. But the way his tongue danced around her cunt made her not care.

"But we both know you won't say it," he said against her lips.

She sighed, locking her ankles around his neck as her hands bunched in his hair. She moaned as he softly bit her clit, then moved to suck it.

She rocked her hips at his pace, feeling incredible as he ate her out. She had no regrets about what she asked for, he was devouring her like a starved man. Eddie softly rubbed himself against the carpet of the van, moaning at the relief as he continued to eat her cunt, loudly as her wetness began to spread.

She could see the night sky creeping in through the windows, the streetlight turned on above them, illuminating their bodies. Y/N blindly searched for the pillow they left back here, because this wasn't the first time he was tongue-deep inside of her in this van.

She shoved it under her head, enjoying the extra support as her back arched. Eddie could stay between her legs for days, she was addictive.

Even though the feeling of his tongue was incredible, it wasn't what she needed.

"Eddie, pleaseeeee," she begged, unhooking her ankles. She softly pushed his head.

He groaned but listened, moving up her body to slam his lips against hers. She moaned as she tasted herself, her hands feeling his naked chest. Her fingertips teased the top of his jeans, begging them to come off.

"What you want baby?" He asked, sitting back on his knees. "This?" She followed his movements as his hand unbuttoned his jeans. She drooled at the teasing sight, his boxers in view.

"Quit teasing," she moaned, rubbing her thighs together.

He laughed, "Why? It seems like you love it," he said as he shoved two fingers inside of her. "Oh yeah, you're soaked." She cried out when he curved his fingers forward before he slid out.

"Please, daddy?"

Eddie felt all the hair on his back stand up straight. It was like that name snapped him into action. She whimpered in heat as he stripped himself bare.

She loved the sight of his pasty white skin, his dark body hair, and his thin hips. "That's it, daddy. Come fuck a baby in me," her legs spread open as she waited for him.

He placed a hand on her hip, using the other to guide himself inside of her. "Oh fuck," he moaned. He was instantly in love with the feeling of entering her with no barrier. He could feel just how soft and wet she was, the feeling of her walls wrapped around him.

She loved the feeling too. She felt every vein in his cock, gasping as he pushed himself all the way in. She knew it would feel good, but she couldn't believe just how good it was.

"I'm never using a condom again," he moaned. His hair stuck to his sweaty skin as he fucked her. Both hands squeezed her hips, leaning down to press his lips against hers.

She practically purred in his mouth, happily wrapping her legs around him to push him deeper. She clawed at his skin like he wasn't close enough. Doing anything she could to keep his body right against hers. Her brain was fuzzy as his tongue swirled in her mouth and his balls slapped her cunt. Every thrust was deep, removing himself to slide right back in. He couldn't get over the feeling of her squeezing him as he entered.

His left hand moved up to fist her hair as he kissed her harder, his right hand sliding down their bodies. She gasped into the kiss as his pointer finger teasingly circled her clit. The feeling jolted her body up to hit his. She felt like she could barely keep up from the kiss, his cock inside her and the feeling on her clit.

She gasped for air when he pulled back, just to attack her neck. It was clear the van started rocking from his fast movements, but she didn't care. All she cared about was the feeling of his warm cock sliding against her.

"Oh my God," she choked, her hands moving into his hair as she felt the need to hold on to something. She loved how sweaty they were, how rough and desperate it was. Knowing they couldn't make it another step without tearing each other's clothes off.

"You feel so good, baby," he moaned. He gripped her hips as he moved backward until he was sitting. Her now on top of him as she begins to ride him. Both shivered at the new position.

She tried to keep up with his pace, bouncing on his cock until her body went numb. He bucked his hips, slamming her down on him over and over. Their skin slapped each other as she rode him, crying his name as she tried to hold herself up.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, naked chest to chest. She was panting in his ear, the sound edging him on.

"Getting tired? Can't handle Daddy, can you?"

She rolled her eyes at his comment. She bit down on his neck, her revenge but it seemed to turn him on even more. She refused to let him win, she gathered all the strength she had left as she shoved him down.

He looked at her, curious but damn excited, as his back hit the van's carpet. She adjusted herself to balance as she sunk down on him. He hissed as she wrapped around him again. Every touch was pushing him closer.

She moaned loudly as she chased her own orgasm, knowing the sight alone would make him explode. She kept her eyes on him as she moved a hand down to her clit. She moved her hips faster as she sped up the touch on her clit, already seconds away.

"Don't ever test me," she smirked breathlessly as she went faster. Eddie reached forward and gripped her thighs as he felt his release.

"Fuck that's it, fuck keep going," he moaned, "milk me, baby. Drain me for everything I have. You've earned it," his dirty words encouraged her as she rubbed herself faster.

"I'm going to cum," she whined. Eddie sat up, holding her against him as his hands gripped her ass.

"That's it, gorgeous. Be a good girl for Daddy and cum all over me," he encouraged. She panted into his neck as she felt herself snap, her thighs shaking as she came all over him. "I love you so much. You feel so fucking good."

"Oh Daddy it feels so good," she moaned, trying her best to continue to ride him as her orgasm washed through her.

"Yeah? Your tight pussy wrapped around me is driving me insane. You want to be filled up huh? Want me to breed your little pussy?"

Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as he moved her on her back, starting to fuck her again. Her cunt didn't have time to recover, aching as his cock drilled her.

"I've got so much cum to fill you up, sweetheart," he said as he threw her legs over his shoulders. "Greedy cunt is squeezing me so tight, trying to unload my balls huh? Taking what you want."

She smirked at his words, knowing she wanted nothing more than for him to cum inside of her.

She gasped as his hand wrapped around her neck. "Tell me you want it. Tell me how much you want my cum."

"Please, Daddy. I want all of it. I want you to fill me up. Put a baby in me and make me yours," she moaned through the grip on her neck. "I want it so bad."

Eddie felt his orgasm building, fucking her harder as he looked down at her. "I'm gonna give it all to you, sweetheart. All my cum, painting your walls and fucking you deep," he said through his panted breaths. He gave everything he had his last few thrusts, moaning as he felt the first spurts of his cum.

"Oh fuck!" She groaned in bliss as she felt his hot cum filling her. A feeling she knew she'd never forget. "More, please more," she begged. Eddie bit harshly on his lip as he fucked all his cum inside of her, brain melting as he soaked in her cunt milking him. He dropped her legs, allowing them to hit the floor.

"Fuck your pussy is milking me dry" he choked out, giving his final thrusts before his body collapsed next to hers.

She was fucked out, her hair sticking to her as she tried to catch her breath. Eddie panted next to her, the biggest smile on his face as he looked at her.

"What?" She asked as she closed her eyes. The windows were so fogged that Eddie couldn't see out of them.

"Can you go again?"

Her eyes snapped open as she looked at him. "Can you?" She laughed, "that was some fucking orgasm."

Eddie rolled back on top of her, kissing all over her face. "It doesn't take me long to reload, baby," he winked.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123 @emxxblog

[sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame]

*Angrily looks around* ok so we're not writing more werewolf Valeria???? Fucking fine I'll do it myself

En Sus Marcus Part 1/?

Part 2

Summary: Valeria hunts you through the woods, fucks the shit out of you. Congratulations you won and you're her pet housewife now <3

2nd person omniscient, black reader, she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, no actual smut in this chapter but still sexy as fuck, kinda dubcon, but reader's DEF into it, bimbo reader, reader's dumb as shit y'all. That being said I could see myself doing similar, dom Valeria, sub reader, predator/prey dynamic, fucky and inaccurate Spanish (corrections greatly appreciated)

This is self indulgent trash and I the humble outdoor cat feasting on the week old chicken wings inside it.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

It was stupid to be out in the forest this late, you knew how stupid it was to be in the forest this late.

You were exhausted. Your boss had worked you to the bone for the last three fucking years and still had the nerve to complain when you used your pto for a single week off to enjoy Halloween—your least busy week of the year—by yourself in a cozy little cabin in the woods.

But you were also stupid. So stupid. And so scared. Your first day in you nearly gave yourself carbon monoxide poisoning when you forgot to open the fireplace hatch. Your second day, you'd left the gas on for an hour and set the smoke alarm off for the second time in three days, and now, your third day in, you saw what looked like a limping dog outside, in the pitch black darkness and your dumbass decided to follow it?

You were cursing yourself out the entire time. Horror movie rule number one was without fail, the black guy dies first. And here you were waltzing into the woods after a random animal that you full well could've hallucinated.

But you didn't. You know you didn't. And while that dog was huge, if it was willing to come that close to the house it had to have been someone's pet. Even if it was a wolf dog or something it was obvious it had been abandoned. You weren't a vet, but it seemed way too alert and aware of how you stood by the door. You'd seen YouTube videos of how animals with rabies acted. They were haunting, but the dog didn't move like that. Aside from a slight limp its head still darted in your direction when it spotted you peeking out the giant glass door into the backyard. Its tongue lolled out of its mouth when it heard you call after it for godsake.

You couldn't explain why or how, and you hoped it wouldn't attack you because explaining why you left the house to medical professionals would make you feel like the biggest wet noodle known to man, but it looked like it wanted you to come closer. So you did.

You walked towards it slowly, making sure to avoid eye contact and making yourself look too big or too small, trying to remember the "if it's black fight back, if it's brown get down" rule and whether or not that only applied to bears. You managed to close enough distance between the two of you that you could shine your phone's weak flashlight on the creature to check if there was any blood on it.

Thankfully there wasn't, not so thankfully it got up, and calmly walked further into the woods, turning its head back every few steps to stare at you pathetically.

At this point, maybe if you hadn't finished half a bottle of pink moscato, you would've recognized that it was probably just politely asking you to back off. In the way an animal does when it does not want to fight. But sadly, you had. And the wolf wasn't staring at you like it was trying to avoid a fight, It was staring at you like how dogs stare at people in those probably faked rescue videos where they lead the cameraman to a den full of newborn puppies.

You didn't know what was wrong with this animal but you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep at night if you didn't make sure. And you didn't know that there were multiple hotlines in the area you could call instead of risking both of your lives.

It kept looking back at you, tail flat between its legs, ears pinned back, what could only be considered a giant dopey looking smile on its face as you trailed behind it for long enough that your feet started to hurt despite the hiking boots you'd thrown on before leaving the house.

You were freezing sadly because it was the sole practical element of your outfit.

You were in a lacy pink silk nightie that stopped just at your thigh. Thick brown thighs jiggling a little with each step. If you'd bent over, the wolf could've gotten a nice and pleasant view of your pussy peaking out from underneath the fabric cause you never went to bed with panties on. You could've run to pick some up but you didn't want to chance that the animal would be gone by the time you got back with no proof of if it even existed.

Your phone battery was low. Not dangerously so, but enough that it made you really stupid for going out without your little pink portable charger.

But it was such a stupid spontaneous decision. One you'd spend the rest of your life paying for.

You froze when the wolf darted out of sight suddenly. So fast you didn't have time to point your light towards the direction it ran, it was gone before your eyes had caught up to your ears and processed the rustling of leaves trailing off into the distance.

And now you were painfully aware of the fact that you were alone in the woods. And you had no idea how far you'd gone off the path. And that even if it had stayed, the injured animal probably couldn't offer you much help against a bear, or worse, a man with a gun.

You started shivering, the crisp fall air was delightful in the early mornings, but the sun set at 5pm that day and it was in the high forties now. You weren't even wearing a little sweater to keep your arms warm.

Valeria noticed.

She hadn't actually been injured. She wasn't even limping believe it or not, you just weren't wearing your glasses and couldn't tell that she was walking normally. Let alone that she was much much bigger than a wolf dog.

You smelled divine with your pumpkin spice body oil and the cheap wine clinging to your lips.

Valeria was here for fun too. She owned these woods. And everything in them. She was stunned that you hadn't noticed how deadly silent your romantic evening walk had been. There were so many signs this was a trap.

It wasn't at first, of course. She rented the cabin out. She liked to see who stayed in her home away from home when she wasn't there. What they smelled like. Tasted like. If they looked fun to hunt. But then there you were. Standing outside in your pretty pink dress, her favorite color glowing against your skin and making you look like a goddess underneath the light of the moon. Normally she'd have left you alone. She'd always had a soft spot for pretty girls. But you looked and smelled so divine she just had to get closer. And closer. And closer.

She realized you'd spotted her the moment she realized you were her mate.

She could've shat herself she was so scared. The elation from finding her mate and complete dread at the fact that you were so gullible consumed her with every step you took further into the forest.

She'd have to teach you a lesson.

With all the spoiling she was gonna do to you, you'd probably get bratty. She'd have to teach you many more. She wasn't complaining.

But for now, you needed to learn why you don't follow strange animals into the woods.

And you needed to learn that you were hers. Quickly.

You looked around erratically. On the verge of tears. She could hear your little heartbeat racing.

That's when she decided to shift back.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" She nearly convinced herself she meant it.

You jolted around and immediately started bawling. She wrapped her arms around you, pressing you to her bare chest.

"Hey, it's alright. Can you tell me what happened, princesa?

You nodded, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I've just been so stressed at work and there was this dog—I think it was a wolf dog, and she's hurt and she's definitely someone's pet and she looked like she was leading me to her puppies and I got worried cause if she was willing to lead me there, that means she'd be willing to lead someone dangerous there, so I followed her and we went too deep into the woods and I'm on vacation, I don't know these woods, I'm from L.A.!"

She nodded along, trying to hold back her laughter.

"Pobrecita. You just need someone to protect you, huh?"

You froze. Suddenly and painfully aware of the fact that your head was pressed directly into the bare tits of another woman. You were far from displeased and it wasn't the first time, but still, why in the flying fuck would there be a woman in the woods even more naked than you were?

"Um, ma'am, why are you naked?"

She tossed her head back laughing.

"Ay, que rico, la niña que no lleva nada más que su lencería quiere saber por qué estoy desnuda."

You were kicking yourself mentally at the fact that you hadn't been more serious about learning Spanish all these years. That little green owl was going to kill you if this weird ass woman didn't do the job for him.

"I'm sorry?" Was all you said instead, trying to make your way out of her embrace.

It didn't work. She did let you wiggle around enough that you could crane your neck to look up at her, however, and by god were you grateful. Big pretty brown eyes, hair the perfect length to tug on while she ate you out, an aquiline nose. And the most beautiful, wolfish smile you could ever imagine.

She was the kind of woman that'd make you leave a room just to avoid embarrassing yourself in front of her.

You immediately felt guilty for sexualizing her despite the fact that she was naked and had pressed your face into her tits two seconds ago.

"Shit, you're not doing so hot either, huh? Do you wanna go back to where I'm staying and get some hot chocolate, maybe a shower? Alone! Of course! I can call anyone if you need help too! Oh wait I forgot I had my phone! I can just call the sheriff or something—" she grabbed your phone out of your hands and threw it off into the woods.

You were silent for an embarrassingly long time.

"What the fuck dude." You said it so quietly and calmly Valeria couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't worry. I'll remember where it went in the morning."

You tried with a lot more fervor to put yourself far out of arms reach from the woman, failing every time. She didn't even have to exert a large amount of strength to pin you to her. You didn't let it stop you, but you knew, you wouldn't be moving unless she let you.

She let her long, sharp—sharper than they should be, you had a fresh set of stilettos, they were not that sharp—nails graze your skin just slightly. A warning. You weren't dumb enough to miss that.

"Stop. Moving." Something was wrong. She growled at you. You'd been growled at before in bed by exes, they didn't sound like that. She sounded like she was barely able to form the words. Like she was twisting her vocal cords around to make sense of the random sounds and syncopations that just so happened to make your little pussy drool.

"Here's what's going to happen, princesa. I'm going to give you..." she leaned in to sniff at your bonnet, shivering and pressing her mouth to your forehead, letting out a moan as her hand snaked down your waist to rub at your ass, just above where your nightgown had already ridden up more than dangerously high. "Ten seconds."

"...Ten seconds to what?"

You could feel her grin grow unnaturally wide against you.

"To run."

This time you shivered. This poor woman was crazy and in need of help and here you were getting off to her delusions. What a creep.

"And then when I catch you, I'm going to breed that wet little pussy. I'm going to take you home. And I'm going to fill you up some more, sólo para asegurarme de que funciona."

You were having a hard time breathing. Her voice was so low and even. Her fingers danced at the hem of your dress and as awful as it was you didn't even want to run. You wanted her to snake her fingers just a bit lower and breed you here. You needed her fingers, her cock, her mouth, whatever she'd give you. You could feel your own cum pooling down your thighs which had literally never happened to you before. She was causing chemical reactions in your body you weren't sure had been previously seen within the human race.

She huffed, smiling a bit.

"Oh! Someone's excited."

You whimpered a bit, at the sensation of her claws digging into the fat of your ass.

"Let's get something straight, princesa. If you don't run properly," she pressed you even closer to her, "if you don't make the chase fun," she trailed her nose down the side of your face, pressing you impossibly close. Her grip so tight it was starting to actually hurt, "then I'll kill you."

You laughed a little bit, or tried to. Wheezed would be more accurate.

"Oh, I'm not kidding. Tengo que demostrar que serás una buena compañera, nena. Que te aseguraras de que tus hijas sean fuertes."

Valeria was of course, lying. But you didn't know that. You didn't know that she'd make sure your kids would grow up nice and strong and much much smarter than their ditsy mother was the day they first met.

"You ready, coñejita?" Her grip loosened slightly, and you immediately took your chance to bite her on the neck. Hard. Hoping she'd let go completely and you'd be able to run back to your cabin and use the ancient house phone before she cut the lines or something.

She didn't though, she just frowned. But you could see the edges of her lips fighting to twitch up into her normal Cheshire grin.

"I didn't say it was time to start running, coñejita."

She grabbed your jaw and tilted your head to the side, trailing her sharp teeth down your neck. You felt like they were cutting skin but her hot breath soothed the ache the second it started.

"En su marca."

She grabbed your ass so hard you could feel the chill night air on your dripping cunt.

"Lista."

She pressed a kiss to your neck with a gentleness you wouldn't have guessed she'd be capable of.

"Fuera."

You knew what it meant but she still didn't let go. She wanted you to feel it through your body when the chase had really begun.

She whispered into you ear, teasingly. Joyfully. An excited impatience emanating from her voice.

"Run."

[suiana]

✎ yandere! dilf headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― obsessiveness, possessiveness, manipulation(?), mentions of violence, implicated stalking and stealing, legal age gap, breeding kink 💀, etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! dilf who hired you as his son's tutor. he's just so worried that his darling son won't be able to keep up with school :( as a result you were hired to tutor him :D he actually doesn't know how you look like yet, but guessing from your profile picture you're a granny..?

✎ yandere! dilf who couldn't help but be enamoured with you the second you stepped inside his house. wait why were you so cute? didn't he hire an old- huh?! oh that was a picture of your grandma... oh well, he shouldn't have guessed. how else is he supposed to calm his boner now?

✎ yandere! dilf who's watering at your innocence. oh you're such a sweet thing! bright eyes sparkling with the desire to teach his son! your future son! he's so glad he's divorced... he's dead set on making you his beloved little thing. and you can't do anything to change it~!

✎ yandere! dilf who falls for you more and more with each tuition session. oh you just look so adorable! and that outfit you wore last session! it was so cute! he really had a hard time holding himself back you know? he's imagining tearing apart your outfit while marking you up now-!

✎ yandere! dilf who is older than you. I mean, he literally has a 15 year old son so it would be expected that he's old. but... he's still handsome! so you can consider him... right? oh please give him a chance! he'd hate to have to break you down completely :( yes he's that in love with you to the point where he won't mind breaking you down and rebuilding you to how he wants you to be ♡

✎ yandere! dilf who's extremely flirty and embraces his dilf-ness. rolling up his sleeves to expose his veiny forearms, unbuttoning his top two buttons to expose his defined chest, subtly flirting with you every time he sees you... just two tuition sessions ago he stood so close to you to the point where you could smell his cologne and see his man boobs?! you had to spend that entire tuition session clenching your fists just to focus. oh those sexy man boobs! his cleavage ! why is his body so sexy?! don't worry, if you wanted to touch he'll be more than happy to let you feel him up :)

✎ yandere! dilf who can't stop thinking about bashing in the heads of anyone who's glanced in you. no one should be taking in your divine self except for him and his son. those trash can't worship and love you like he does. hm... maybe he should just kidnap you? keep you all to himself. yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

✎ yandere! dilf who has a little shrine dedicated to you in his study. aw, how cute! it's just a small picture of you and a flower- wait is that your missing underwear? and is that your lost diary?! why's your entire schedule noted down with lots of hearts scribbled on it?! how'd he- there's no way he stalked you... right?

✎ yandere! dilf who gets his son to talk to you about how he's so lonely and wants another parent desperately... you're smart so you'll get what he means, won't you? after all, can you resist those watery eyes and the slight sniffling his son is doing? and he's sure you don't have any other tutees due to how much he's paying you already... so it's alright to be his, no?

✎ yandere! dilf who wants to breed you. it doesn't matter whether or not you can actually have children, he'll still want to breed you. imagining you round and full with his children... it just turns him on oh so much.

✎ yandere! dilf who really wouldn't mind a new addition to his family. I mean, for the past... 11 years it's only been him and his son :( and he finds it so lonely in his big mansion without anyone to accompany him... you understand what he's saying right? don't worry, you'll never have to lift a finger again should you accept his offer. he's rich after all :)

✎ "hn? oh my son did good, huh? should I reward you for being an amazing tutor? I know just how to thank you after all..."

[twistedpink]

Who’s your valentine? @/cafekitsune banner

And the spinner says…

Malleus + complicated + coparenting (modern!au, ~1000 words)

You never thought you’d stoop to this level- the dignified manager of a strip mall Spellphora reduced to this. Crying your eyes out to a telenovela with bad subtitles and an even worse plot. Totally freaking alone on valentines day. It’s your own fault, really. Maybe it’s all the karmic debt you’ve accumulated for working in a chain, or, maybe you need to manifest Malleus Draconia getting hit by a hoverboard harder! Bring on the subliminals, baby!!

That scandalously pretty (and formal in the same way a middle schooler with a briefcase is) Wand Topic goth held your teenage servicing heart and crushed it between his glossy acrylics.

You’re taking it back,, The hangouts, the free samples, and active use of your fucking email for anything but work! It’s all going in your flippy top Kuromi trash can (curtesy of he who shall not be named), and out of your stupid head!

Your notes app is full of amateur poetry and movie recommendations that you would never watch by yourself, because they’re all dumb and you hate it. You hate the whole five pages! But he made them good in the moment. With his cheating fairy makeup magic and inappropriately expensive earrings- he could make anything sound good. Why are all your situationships so profoundly dramatic and sad? Has no one heard of the casual fling to fifty year marriage pipeline??

At this point you wish he hexed you, then your insurance would fund some old fashioned retail therapy, but on your fourth Valentine’s Day alone it hits you. Maybe your shitty ex wasn’t that shitty. God, maybe he was right! All those burnt vapes gave him the clairvoyance to yell a prophecy at your kiosk before he stormed off with a barely safe amount of clearance lipgloss-

“You’re the problem”. (Subtracting the colourful language, obvi) And the only respite for your five month celibacy streak is the freezer burnt ice cream you’re shoving down your sorry gullet,, It’s not like it matters! If you get your way, he’ll never show his face again. As anyone in your position would, you sigh melodramatically into your teeny-tiny living room.

it feels so good that you dare doing it again, despite your uppity next door neighbours.

And the third one (which was going to be the best!) is cut off by a clunky knock at your storm door- it’s way too rainy to get mugged by the knee knocking cartel, but you open it anyways on the off chance Amazon has a gift for you. You cross your fingers for a hunky delivery man, ready to whisk you away from Netflix and mope!

But it’s not, because it just so happens goths are historically terrible at not moping- You look the soaking wet, insufferably sexy Malleus Draconia top to bottom in feigned judgement. From the tip of his embroidered Nurse Martens to the peak of his ebony horns catching rain like a Soda bottle to condensation, and back down to his hands cradling a travel crate like his life depends on it.

Damn, you’d still let him hit no matter what Cater says about his “Victorian girdle”..

“If I may join your evening to share it’s warmth with Gao-Gao, he would be quite grateful.”

And because you’re an aching hearted freak for wittle wizards (totally not to resolve your aching loins) (or the satisfaction of putting that self Defense baseball bat in action), you welcome the guys in with hospitality that would make Snow White weep

“Uh.. Duh! Sure, whatever. I have fresh towels. You probably still know where they are, haha..”

He gives you a grateful nod when you step aside, and the way he unfurls to full height after hunching over his precious cargo is always monstrously hot. You send yourself scrambling for the space heater (still very much vibrating from the inside, with a little ice cream crusted on your lip), no matter how embarrassed you are, Gao-Gao does not deserve to die from the cold! Malleus told you once the gecko intends on going to Valhalla, and you insisted he’s owed it for being such a good boy! (you’re also inclined to agree with any man that has a ninety degree jawline)

Gao-Gao nuzzles against your pinkie affectionately when you put some powdered feed into his crate. He ate three days ago- and you know that because you’re his pet sitter. Holding onto the little guy was easy when Malleus was away- but on pickup when his little brother showed up he thanked you. Said that Malleus didn’t have any other friends, and you couldn’t just leave him to the “adult loneliness” wolves.. So you hung out with him for awhile, and he only got cuter. That’s where it exploded in your face.

It was never his fault. You just got a bad case of the feels- on a little work party when you got hammered, Malleus took the brunt of it. Cater cheered you on in your sexless, drunken rage so well that you just blocked the guy,, And you have no idea why he’s here now.

“So,,, what’s wrong? Why’d you show up?”

“I understand I was unable to text your phone, but we had scheduled a “hanging out”, and now we can resume watching cinema! Gao-Gao is very excited with the prospect.”

You let the silence linger- and not to be mean, either. You’re just marinating in your drunk stupidity. Poor Malleus has no clue what’s going on! His own phone goes out all the time, and it’s not like you canceled, or even officially quit.. This is the worst. Not even your last breakup (pretty bad), or telling Cater that he was demoted (he literally asked to step down. Still sucked) measures up. THIS is rock bottom.

But, you’re used to being on the bottom. From scraping your way out of college only to land some mall-cop ass job better suited to someone in their teens, and all those infamously bad guys you’ve groveled to. Only Malleus (sweet, old man in a young body Malleus) bothered to spend the time reteaching you that you deserve to be spoiled- you deserve friends, and fun, and so many more pet sitting gigs with pintrestable animals.

You’re worth it. Even if it’s complicated, even if you can’t have him the way you want right now, you’ve got the rest of your life to pull it off!

(And to unblock him. That’s probably a good idea.) So for tonight you’ll enjoy the temporary simplicity, and have an unforgettable time with your best friends.

“Yeah! Let’s totally watch some “cinema”, Mally. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Ah! A Happy Valentines to you as well!”

God this is scary!!!!!!!! I’ve never done an event before, so please leave some comments abt your feelings with it! Much love, thanks for reading <3

(My amazing beta reader @/Echosofmortality helped SO much with getting this published!)

[heartsandstars46]

The first time (prelude part 2)

tasm!Peter x virgin!gf reader

fluff, some spice (so MDNI please!)

mentions of nudity, scars, anxiety

Word count: ~1k

Part 1!

You and Peter were spooning in your bed, not really talking, but also not sleeping. He had slept over plenty of times before, but ever since your talk about sex a few weeks ago, things had shifted—at least in your mind.

His arms were wrapped around your waist, and you put your hands over his hands. In response, he gently kissed the back of your neck. You rolled over in his arms so you could face him. Goddamn, he was so cute. You could stare into those big brown eyes for a lifetime. He was just watching you, a smile starting to form. You kissed him ever so softly on the lips. He made a pleased kind of humming sound and kissed you back. That’s how it started.

As you two continued to kiss, you knew in that moment you wanted more. Whether it led to MORE more, whatever, but you just wanted more. More closeness. More connection. More of him.

In the past, if you’d been making out or cuddling, Peter would sometimes graze your back or stomach under your shirt. Otherwise, he’d never felt parts of you that were supposed to be hidden. 

But what if you wanted him to?

As you were kissing, you gently grasped his hand and slid it from your waist up under your shirt. He sucked in a startled breath and his eyes flew open. 

You smiled at him. “Yes. I want this. And yes, I will tell you if that changes.”

“At any point.” Though his voice was serious, you could feel his hand trembling a bit on your bare breast. 

“Yes.”

“Can I… kiss you there?”

You considered that option. “Yes. Please.”

Whoa, his hands, and then lips!, on your sensitive skin! The fact that you still had your shirt on made this some sort of secret for just the two of you. It all felt incredible… but you soon found yourself kind of writhing and moaning in way that felt more about him than you. This is what women did in movies, so it’s what he wanted, right? It’s what you were supposed to be doing? 

Peter must have sensed a disconnect because he drew back. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“Just in my head, as usual,” you sighed. You were suddenly very aware of your shirt having been pulled askew and how exposed your body was compared to his. You drew a blanket over your chest.

Peter pressed his forehead to yours. “I can stop.”

“No, I don’t want that, I just don’t want my brain yelling at me that I’m not moaning enough or sexy enough.”

“Well, I’ve got a message for your brain—you are well beyond ‘sexy enough.’ To see and feel you, my god. I think my eyes rolled back in my head! I really hope I had them closed so I didn’t look like a total idiot.”

You couldn’t hold back a startled laugh. “Wait. So you’re self-conscious too!”

“Well, yeah. It’s kind of hard not to be in a situation like this.”

You couldn’t have loved him any more in that moment, and you impulsively kissed him. 

Though he smiled, he said, “Let’s stop.”

“No.” You were both surprised by how reflexively it came out. “No, what I want is to throw my brain in the trash ala Squidward and just enjoy being groped by my boyfriend! Wait, that doesn’t sound right…”

At least you were both laughing now, and that helped with your nerves.

“Can you take your shirt off?” You timidly asked him. “Just for, like, equality?”

He laughed. “Oh, well, only if it’s for equality.”

“I know stuff like that is important to you.”

“Yes, of course….” Then his laugh trailed off. “But I feel like I should warn you. I have some pretty gnarly scars. I hope they don’t freak you out.”

“Scars? Oh, from Spider-Man stuff?”

“Yeah.”

You slid your hand under his shirt and eventually felt some deep lashes on his chest. In that instant, you almost teared up, because the thought of someone hurting Peter enough to leave permanent damage….

“Yeah, you found them,” he said softly, with a rueful smile.

“Can I see?”

He nodded reluctantly and tugged his shirt off over his head. You couldn’t suppress a gasp.

“Oh, Peter….” The raised lines of healed skin were deep and angry looking. You ran your finger along one of them.

“An unfortunate run-in with a lizard,” he explained. As with so many things, you just had to nod and move on. Accept the craziness.

You scooted closer to him. He slipped one arm around you to pull you in. You leaned forward and ever so gently traced his scars with little kisses. You wished that could have healed the skin completely and erased the experience from his memory.

“I love you,” he whispered. When you looked up, he was smiling almost tearfully. 

“I wish I could make it all go away, but I….” you shrugged, helpless.

“I know. I wish I could make your anxiety all go away,” he said, kissing your forehead. Your heart fluttered with love for him.

You sat up and tugged at the hem of your shirt. “Will you help me?”

He whisked your shirt off, and you shivered as the cloth grazed your bare skin. He studied you with a little smile, then said matter-of-factly, “Well, you’re just exquisite.”

Though you blushed, you also smiled. You lay back down and rolled onto your side so your bare skin was resting against his, absorbing his warmth. He gave a shuddery sigh.

“Too much?”

“No,” he said. “I think this is the precipice to heaven.”  

You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder. You slid an arm over his chest, the smooth underside of your forearm over the rough skin of his scars. You weren’t really thinking of anything anymore, besides how good it felt to be held, skin-to-skin, with the person you loved…. With the person who loved you.

Interlude 😘

[isabeauwolf]

Law x Plus Size Nurse Reader 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 5: Misunderstandings

You had seen Ikkaku in passing several times, even giving each other basic greetings, but this was the first time you two had actually sat down and talked.

The woman had dark brown curly hair, tied into a thick braid running down her back and light brown eyes.

You knew she was a part of Law's main team. An impressive feat in its own right since the renowned Surgeon would become busy with his own tasks and work, both his skills in the operating room and duties as the Chef and owner of the hospital itself.

After eating lunch and talking with an extra ten minutes to spare, you decided to ask Ikkaku for advice since she was closer to Law. "Has doctor grumpy always been such a pain in the ass?" You ask, lowering your voice and covering the side of your mouth with your hand. "I swear it feels as if he's even more of a grouch when I'm around."

Ikkaku's lips pressed into a thin line as she snorted through her nose, covering her mouth as a string of giggles slipped out. "Boy, you're as blunt and honest as they come, aren't you?"

"What's wrong with that?" You lower your hand and sip your drink, shrugging. "I hate lying, even white lies." Leaning your elbow on the table and resting your cheek in the palm of your hand. "Besides my poker face sucks."

Ikkaku hums and asks a question of her own. "So what happened early this morning?" Her eyes twinkled with interest, smile widening. "Heard you gave Cap a stern talkin' to and stripped down naked in front of him and the rest of the onlookers."

You blushed bright red and cringed. "I wasn't completely buck assed naked." You correctly, covering your heated face. "Still had my bra and underwear on. It was an impulse; I was hangry and tired." You sighed. "I don't get it. Law could have asked anybody else, but he kept pushing and pushing." You ranted. "I wanted to shut him up, wipe that stupid, smug and sexy assed smirk off his face..." Your eyes widened. "Shit. Forget I said that."

Ikkaku raised a brow, her smile widening into a smirk. "From what I've heard from Pen and Shachi you certainly are an interesting person." She reached over and lightly pat your hand. "Besides being confidant in your own skin like that takes a lot of guts." Her bright smile returning, it's genuine. "You aren't ashamed of your own beauty, which I think a lot more woman need in their lives." She pulls away. "It's inspiring really."

"Thanks." You lowered your hand and gave her a smile. "Took a lot of years to feel comfortable about my body not being like a super model. To learn to love myself first." You finished your coffee and sighed. "Self-love is best love, isn't it?"

"Hell yeah it is." Ikkaku stood and picked up her tray.

You followed, throwing away your trashed and returning the red reusable tray on the cart beside the trashcan.

Ikkaku pulled out a pen and small notebook. "Oh, here's my number if you ever want to talk, hang out or nag about Cap some more." She tears it off and offers it to you. "I know he can be a handful, but he's not all scowls, mopey, and emotionally constipated."

You took it. "You mean he can smile?" You joke, laughing. "And not look like his face is permanently frozen with the world's worst hangover and resting bitch face?"

You both laugh and cackle loud, drawing the attention of Penguin, Shachi and Law himself.

You tear off a piece of the paper and give her your number in return, smiling. "Here and thanks for talking with me. I appreciate it." You shoved you hand inside the front of your pocket, pulling out your phone. You had a few missed calls from both Nami and Robin, even Gramps. "I love my job. I love helping people." You explained, smile dimming. "It's because of my friends that I've worked so hard to become a nurse... and yet... it feels as if I've done something to keep pissing off Cap and I don't know what I did?" You admitted, grip tightening on your phone. "If he wants to fire me or has a problem with me, I wish...." You pause and sighed, frowning. "I wish... he'd tell me to my face instead of pussyfooting around and scowling about it."

That made all four of them pause. Then again, none of them could blame you for thinking such a thing about how the boss has been treating you. Out of the four, you knew Trafalgar Law the least. You picked up a few of his mannerisms, speech patterns and habits, but nothing more. Nothing too personal or intimate, nothing out of the norm for a boss and his coworker.

Ikkaku opened her mouth to offer encouragement when Law spoke first. "L/n may I see you in my office, please?"

You jumped in fright, half turning and meeting Law's molten silvers. "Jesus, Cap. Can you please not sneak up on me like a ninja or something." You place your hand over your heart and take a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Make some damn noise wouldya?"

"Sorry." He replied and nodded his head towards outside the cafeteria. "Follow me, please."

"Sure." You mutter, staring back at Ikkaku who offered you a thumbs up and a smile.

Well, shit. How much of my trash talking and bitching did he hear? Did you really overstep and push him too hard this morning and before lunch time? Was the dessert me offered you out of pity or sympathy? A good deed before shoving you out the door?

The more you thought about it. The larger your stomach dropped and knots twisting in your gut, anxiety crawling and spreading like tiny ants. Calm down. It's fine. It's all going to be fine. It's not the end of the world... if Law fires you today... right? Okay. You lied. It would suck so bad. Being fired by your crush would hurt worse than a papercut and getting lemon juice and salt dumped onto the wound.

In a flash you two were in front of Law's office.

Your eyes trailed up Law's back, licking your lips as you settled your nerves and clenched your fists tight. It's now or never. You took a deep breath and muttered sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Doctor Trafalgar." You closed your eyes, tears prickling at the corners.

You didn't see the taller man pause, his inked hand tightening hard on the door handle, muscles bunching and straining underneath his shirt. The complete definition of shock written all over his face as he twirled and snuck a glance at you. You were trembling and your eyes were closed, close to bursting into tears. Why?

Law swallowed, his heart ached in his chest and his face softening into a deep frown before remasking it. "What?" He cleared his throat and tried again. "What are you apologizing for, L/n?" Facing the door and opening it.

You opened your eyes, a trail of tears falling. "You..." You whisper softly, you sounded pathetic and broken even to your own ears.

"I'm what?" Law asked. Resisting everything in his body to remain standing perfectly still, in complete control and resist the need to reach for you and cradle you into his chest. Whisper sweet words until you calm down. Instead, he waited.

Waiting to hear whatever you had to say.

You sniffed, rubbing your cheek with the back of your hand. "You're firing me aren't you, Trafalgar?" Great, Law had been you cry twice today.

Law's eyes widened as his heartbeat stilled, and he forgot how to breath. "Wh-?" The Surgeon genuinely appeared confused, searching for any sign of a prank or a lie. He found none. You. You honestly believed that he was going to fire you. "Why?" He asked in a breathless whisper before speaking louder. "What could have possibly given you that conclusion?" His shock was replaced with anger, his jaw tightened as he took a deep breath and tried to bite back a seething glare. "Did someone mention something?"

You shook your head. "No, sir."

Law knew you were being polite and minding your manners. He's your boss. Your superior. You were using his last name and giving him proper respect. He knew that. And yet, it felt foreign and wrong coming from your mouth. The Surgeon was so used to your sassy comebacks and banter, your playful jabs and silly nicknames for him that hearing you call him by his last name didn't sit well with him.

Not at all.

It felt as if you two had gone back to level zero, two years back in time to when you first started working here.

He absolutely didn't like it.

He wanted bang his head against his office door. What the hell had you done to him? He should be the one apologizing to you. Not the other way around! Law had been an ass all day, though it wasn't his intention. He wanted to spend more time with you. Get closer to you. His pride and awkwardness got in the way, so Law had done what he'd always had whenever he was nervous... he'd become stiff, snarky and snippy. Even when he wanted to slap himself in the face or shambles himself away with his devil fruit.

He could work days without sleep, hours in the operating room or doing boring paperwork and re-reading his notes and textbooks until he was completely exhausted and yet... he couldn't tell you how he felt yet. He didn't want to push you. Here he was going it anyway.

Couldn't he do anything right? Or normal? Why couldn't you see that seeing you hurt, distressed or in pain hurt him too? Why did love and matters of the heart have to be so complicated, so messy?

Law sighed, running his free hand through his unruly thick black hair and opened the door wider before stepping aside, holding it open. "Just... Just get in and sit down, please, L/n..." He met your questioning gaze and noticed your hesitation. "I'm not firing you." He pressed gently as he could. "If I did, I would have done it on the spot and not in my office."

Oh, you heard stories alright of Law losing his temper and nearly cutting a guy in half for being a complete dick both to Law himself, his staff and coincidentally to you. You think that's the only time you had been Law so enraged, so murderous, losing his cool and his temper over something that guy had said.

You'd never forget a guy as huge and creepy as Law's adoptive Uncle Doflamingo Donquixote or his adoptive father and Doflamingo's younger brother, Rosinante Donquixote. Two giant blonde men with opposite personalities, both raising Law. Since both had no children of their own Law had been named their heir and successor to the Donquixote fortune and titles. Or so you've heard.

It's another reason why Doctor Trafalgar Law is so crabby, so guarded and closed off.

You don't blame him. You imagine a lot of people have tried to get closes to the Doctor to win his favorite or get connections to the big, feathered brothers through Law.

You only met them once or twice during the hospitals Christmas and New Years banquet on your way out the door after leaving work. Even as someone as tall as Law looked like a dwarf compared to those two.

Shaking your head you slowly walked inside Law's office, past him and sat down in one of the fancy, brown leather chairs. God, you hated these chairs. They made you feel fat, as if you were sitting inside a kiddy chair and feared you'd embarrass yourself and get stuck. Like you needed Law to help you get out of it. Oh yeah, real sexy. You scoot to the edge of the seat, literally a smidge of your ass touching the seat, pressing your thick thighs together and folded your hands into your lap, sat up-straight and prayed to God whatever the hell this was would go by fast.

---- End of Chapter 5 -----

I know, I know reader is dense as f and Law is overly stubborn, but don't worry it will be worth it! I promise! Did you like how I snuck in Doffy and Rosi? ;) I had to! Gimme your thoughts, my lovelies!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Want more Law x reader? I've got you!

Merman Law x reader Law x Pregnant reader

Tag list: @m0sigma7 @angelblueflame @pandora-writes-one-piece @short-honey-badger @supreme-burrito @fanaticsnail @turtletaubwrites @cherry-queens-blog @fairymama624 @mrstraffy @kira-scarllet @strawheart-pirate @azuragalaxya @kira-scarllet @the-ginger-draws @cericebelle @emlikesfl0w3rs @aceismyloveforever @mrstrafalgardwater24 @imsnk-ow @thekatisspooky @lunulatalux @physics-of-one-piece @honeyshiddendesire @pinkbun1 @vlntnxvoc @chillerkiller @rubyninja1

[thornbutch]

One Night Only (Pt. 2) (18+)

check out my masterlist! ♡ | pics r not mine.

Part One | Part Two

Pairings: Jordan Li x Fem!Reader, (brief) Andre Anderson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Past experiences have wrecked Jordan’s perception of their true feelings. The pretty girl from a week ago isn’t making their situation any better. Cue angst and car sex.

Tags: Jordan Li x fem!reader, Gen V, Jordan Li is a toxic, jealous, sexy piece of shit, cursing, angst, sensitive reader, sapphic make out sesh, Corruption kink, smut, mature content, Jordan might be a little OOC? Sorry. I wrote this in two hours.

Word Count: 2.7k

Jordan Li was probably the most confusing human being she had ever encountered. Ever since that night, he had been ignoring her. She’d see him in the courtyard at lunch, wave, and be disappointed when he didn’t wave back. She knew he saw her. What was his problem?

A week went by since the night she entangled with Jordan. She had finally come to terms with the fact that Jordan didn’t see her as anything but a one-night stand. She couldn’t explain why she felt so hurt by this. Maybe Jordan regretted what happened. Or maybe she was some kind of revenge hook-up? She had dealt with that before; her body being used to make someone else jealous. But that didn’t seem like a thing Jordan would do. On the other hand, she didn’t know Jordan much. She knew he was number five on the list. She knew that he had been Dr. Brink’s TA, but other that, his story was a mystery to her.

The next time she saw him, she was determined to get his attention. She didn’t care if she embarrassed him. How dare he treat her like trash? He owed her an explanation. If she had did something wrong, she’d like to know. If he wished he could forget that night, she had a right to know. She doesn’t know why it bothered her so much, but it did. He didn’t have to fuck her again, but he could’ve at least waved or said hello when he saw her in public.

She had gotten information from Maverick, the dorm’s resident assistant. She demanded to know where Jordan’s room was in the sweetest way. She fluttered her eyelashes and put her hands together in a praying form, begging him over and over to tell her until he finally did.

“God, you freshman are so fucking annoying! Can’t a guy jerk off in peace?” She didn’t have time to wonder if he was jerking off in that moment, due to his invisibility. She’d question him again later on that, because ew.

She made her way to Jordan’s room, knocking on the door once, twice, three times.

“Coming!” She heard a feminine voice shout from behind the door.

Had she arrived at the wrong room? No, Mark was adamant on the floor level and room number.

Plus, she recognized that smell of hefty cologne from the night Jordan fucked her senseless.

So who was-

Oh. She had approximately five seconds to walk, no sprint, away from this situation. She could’ve made it behind a wall or scurried off into a communal bathroom. She had time.

But she stood there, dumbfounded and hurt.

The girl from the other side opened the door, “Can I-“

She stood there.

Her doe eyes brimmed with tears. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? She didn’t own Jordan. She wasn’t his girlfriend. He made it very clear that he didn’t want to be with her.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, “Wrong door.”

Before the girl had anything to say, she was running down the hallway and exiting the building.

. . .

That was all it took for her to move on. Now, she was back to her normal self. Fuck Jordan Li, and fuck whoever that girl was at the door.

She was undoubtedly pretty, but also handsome at the same time. She kind-of looked like Jordan a bit, but she highly doubted it was a relative. Some guys were into shit like that, fucking the “girl” versions of themselves.

Ick.

She was tired of parties. They were fun, sure. It was nice to get out and get drunk and fuck here and there, but she needed an escape from that environment. She opted to go to a bar instead, one of the local ones near campus that served as a hot spot for the students.

She put on a black, tubed dress that stopped at her mid-thigh. She chose one of her favorite leather jackets to match with it and similar-looking black leather boots that came up just below her knee. It was different than what she’d normally wear. The white dresses, jean skirts, and pink accents made her look cute, but it seemed like people took advantage of that. They thought she was naïve and not aware of their schemes.

She was smart, that much was evident. As pretty as she was, she was also sexy, and she’d be damned if she didn’t own that shit.

The bar was far quieter than the frat parties, but still loud nonetheless. Supes and normals mingled here. One thing they both had in common was their love for alcohol. It seemed to bring them together and offer peace against outside situations.

The moment came when she was asked if someone could buy her a drink. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place her finger on it. He had curly, dark brown hair and deep black eyes. He was good-looking, she couldn’t deny that.

“I’m a freshman,” she stated. The man laughed.

“You say that like I’m old,” he said as he bought himself a drink, “I’m only a junior.”

She smiled, knowing that he was in her age range and a fellow student calmed her. “I’m (Y/n).”

He took a sip from his glass, “Andre,” he replied, “You have a coin on you?”

She nodded, reaching into her black velvet purse to retrieve a quarter. She handed it to him, and he examined it thoroughly.

“Look,” he held the quarter between his forefinger and thumb, “If I could make this-“ she watched as the quarter transformed before her eyes, the metal twisting and bending to create the shape of a bird, “into her drink-“ he looked over at a woman sitting down, holding a champagne glass in her hand, “then you have to come home with me.”

“Oh, I have to?” She smirked.

“I don’t make the rules,” he shrugged and grinned back, “Just enforce them.”

Before she could reply, she felt a familiar presence loom over her. She turned around, met with a firm chest and a heavy scent.

Jordan.

“She’s not into your lame ass party tricks, Andre,” Jordan said.

Andre scoffed, blistering a false offended look on his face, “Lame? C’mon, Jordan, don’t be like that.”

Jordan rolled his eyes, “She’s not interested, got it?”

Andre rolled his eyes as well, his fists bawled up and the once floating medal bird turned into a dense ball, “It’s 2023. Women can speak for themselves.”

“Right,” Jordan looked down at you, finally including you in on the conversation that he interrupted, “Are you interested?”

She was taken aback by the question. She sputtered a little, swapping glances between Andre and Jordan. Whatever this was, she did not want to be apart of it. Fuck Jordan for ruining this.

“No.” She said. Andre held his hands up in defeat, grabbed his drink, and walked away from the bar and into the crowd. She turned back to Jordan then and stood up. “Fuck you.”

“You already did,” he said.

She pushed him then. “No, fuck you. Fuck you for being an asshole to me all this week and then popping up to ruin-“

“Ruin what, exactly? Where you going to go home with him, huh? Fuck him, too? Let him see you the way I saw you?”

“Excuse me?” She raised her hand to slap him, but he caught it. His grip was tight and bruising. A few bystanders gathered around them.

“Let’s go to my car.” Jordan tugged her towards the exit. She barely had time to register what was going on before she felt the cold breeze of the night air swift through her nostrils and blow on her exposed skin.

He opened the passenger door for her. A gentleman. What kind of gentleman would dare to ask to her that way? Just who did he think he was? Her fucking boyfriend?

She got in, and he slammed the door closed. She stared out the window as he felt the car dip a little with the weight of Jordan getting in on the driver’s side.

The car was silent.

“Are we playing the quiet game or something?” .

She nodded.

He sighed, “Look, you have every right to hate me-“

“I do.”

“-but I need to explain something to you.”

She could feel her anger bubbling up. Her knees bounced against the car floor. She continued to stare out the window. “Explain.”

“The girl you saw, she was-“

Oh, not this lousy and overused excused. He really thought she was dumb. It wasn’t just something she had made up in her mind. This was evidence.

She turned, tears just about to spill past her eyelids, “Your sister? Your cousin? Your best friend?” She scoffed, “You think I’m stupid. You ignore me for a week, a week, Jordan. Then you decide you can whisk me away like you’re some kind of Prince Charming?”

“That’s not-“

“You embarrass me in front a cute guy because what? You’re jealous? You don’t like to see your one-night stand hooking up with other people but don’t mind not bothering to wave back when she waves at you?”

“(Y/n)-“

“But maybe I am stupid. You asked if I was interested, and I said no. You opened the door for me, and I got in. You folded my panties and tucked me in and left and treated me like I didn’t exist.”

Jordan watched intently as she spewed all the horrible shit they had done to her. They didn’t think it would affect her so much. They’d hate to be ignored, too, but they’d get over it. They could tell she convinced herself she was over them, over the entire situation. If she was moved on, she wouldn’t have turned down Andre’s offer, and she wouldn’t have entered their vehicle.

“-and now you’re not fucking listening, great.” She folded her arms and dramatically laid back against the seat. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her makeup was ruined. Black streaks of mascara coated the skin.

“I’m sorry,” they said. “You’re right. Not about the stupid thing, the fucked up thing. It was wrong of me to ignore you, I just…” Jordan breathed in shakily. This was so out of character for them. “I didn’t think you liked me.”

She turned towards the window again, staring at her own reflection.

“And… the girl you saw wasn’t my sister, cousin, or best friend,” They could feel their chest tightening, “She was me.”

She watched in the reflection as Jordan morphed into the girl she had seen earlier. She turned back sharply, completely in shock at what she just witnessed.

“You-“

“Yeah. I’m bigender, or whatever the fuck,” Jordan sighed. They felt vulnerable in this form. They tucked a strand of their longer black hair behind their ear and looked beyond the front windshield, “I didn’t want you thinking that I-“

“That you’re into women who look like you?” She responded.

“Yes,” Jordan snorted, “But I was going to say that I wasn’t using you. Or- I didn’t use you. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Do you normally fuck girls and abandon them?”

“I normally don’t get jealous when I see someone else flirting with them,” they looked at her then, “I didn’t like what I saw. When he flirted with you using his medal-bending ability. It was corny.”

She let out a small laugh, wiping away her tears, “It was kind of corny.”

Jordan nodded, “I was… afraid. I’m not used to feeling like this, but I am used to it at the same time. Girls, they fuck me in my masculine form and want nothing to do with me in my feminine form. Guys are vice versa.”

She listened to every word coming from their mouth.

“I guess I’ve grown accustomed to blocking people out without asking if they’d accept both versions of me.”

The car was quiet once more.

“Accustomed,” she whispered, “that’s a big word.”

Jordan rolled their eyes.

“I don’t mind,” she was no longer looking at them, instead focusing on her hands that she held in her lap, “I wouldn’t have judged you. I’m not judging you.”

“You’re not?”

“I think you’re the most handsomest and prettiest person I’ve ever seen,” she said.

They could feel their ears tint with red.

“I understand why you were nervous, but I wish you would’ve talked to me before doing all of this,”

“I’m sorry,”

“I know,” she faced them, bringing her hands to cup their soft jawline, “I forgive you.”

Their lips met with hers, but not like how they did at the frat party. This time was more passionate, sweeter, and less rough. She broke the kiss to climb over the armrest and straddle them. Jordan leaned the chair back as far as it would go to give her enough room to sit on their lap. She took off her leather jacket. Their hands held onto her waist, keeping her in place. She liked being on top and knowing that she had no control. They liked being underneath her and knowing that they were still the dominant one.

They began to kiss each other harder. More hunger. They craved her. She must’ve worn this black outfit in retaliation. She looked pretty in white. She looked pretty in black. She looked pretty naked. She was the most beautiful girl they had ever seen, and now they had her right where they wanted her.

She had been hogging their memory ever since that night. They’d slip their hands into their pants during late hours of the night, fondling their clit and breathing her name in heavy gasps as they imagined her touching them. They pinched their nipples, imagining her biting them. They wanted to see her between their thighs, eating them out with her back arched and her eyes closed because she was so into it.

“Am I doing good?” They imagined she would say.

They’d tell her she was doing amazing as they fucked their pussy onto her face.

They’d have to take a late-night shower, having soaked their boxers in their secretion. Their shirt would stick to their back from how hot they were and how much they were sweating during a simple masturbation session.

They wondered if she touched herself. Maybe she was so pent up with frustration that she couldn’t help but fuck it out of herself. She’d use two fingers right off the bat. Her legs would be spread open, and her clothes discarded into a heap at the edge of her bed.

“Jordan,” she’d moan.

“Jordan,” she moaned.

They were brought back to the present, pulling away from her lips. Both of their chests rise and fell with great intensity. They bought their hand up to her face, placing their thumb on her lip and parting them. She opened willingly, allowing their thumb to enter her wet cavern.

She sucked feverishly, all while maintaining eye contact.

“Fuck,” Jordan cursed. They could feel how wet they were in their stiff jeans.

She pulled their thumb out of her mouth with a barely audible pop!

“I want to touch you,” she said.

Yes, yes, please, yes.

She pulled up their shirt, revealing a flat stomach that had the shadows of their abs present. They didn’t wear a bra. She was very understanding of that, too. It’d be extremely uncomfortable for them to shift and feel the hard clasps of the bra digging into their back.

She cupped their breast tenderly, swiping her thumb over the nipple. Jordan couldn’t tell if she’d been with women before. Was she an expert? Or was she just doing what she did when she touched herself?

She pinched and they shifted unexpectedly. She leaned back, her ass hitting the steering wheel and blaring the horn.

It was quiet for the third time.

They apologized for startling her. She told them it was okay.

Then, she busted out laughing, falling onto them. They laughed, too.

“I guess that’s a sign,” she said.

“A sign for what?”

“To take me back to your place.”

She didn’t have to say anything else.

[nightlyrequiem]

Hey there, I love your writing! (you may know because I'm always around hehe). You're smooth, set a good flow even with the one shots, I look forward every Saturday to read a new chapter🥺 It's definitely the best girls for the girls writing!!!

And, I have a request hehe, I just read 'Weeping Angel' and I had the thought about Valeria finding a girl that works in her cartel who is the opposite, instead of crying she gets on with Valeria atitude.

Something about Valeria been rude, that harsh and mocking tone she has that's chef kiss, she screaming with her crew? Barking orders with her brows narrowed? Reader LOVES IT, just staying around looking with doe eyes at the cartel mami being a sexy leader all day.

Hiii Infeeeerno!!! I see you in my notifs all the time. Always makes me smile 🫂

I'm glad you're enjoying my writing, as a self-proclaimed girl lover, I naturally like to write for them

I can't even lie watching scenes where Valeria is angry just does something unspeakable to me. Something about aggressive outspoken women is just so... I say I want her to yell at me like that but I'm probably more like Reader in Weeping Angel

That being said I wouldn't mind her making me cry anyway

Tags/Warnings: Valeria Murders a Man, Valeria is Mean to Reader, Reader is Into it

Yell For Me

Valeria is yelling again. Someone messed up a shipment and it was costly. She's all but throwing a fit over it. The two men responsible are forced to face the brunt of her fury. She's throwing things and cursing. It's the most beautiful thing you've seen. Raw passion and emotion clings to every insult and curse she hurls at them. Valeria waves her arms around as she rants, the muscles in her biceps flexing with each movement.

"-Fucking idiots! How do you mess up such a simple thing?"

You almost feel ashamed over how attractive you find her when she's angry.

The men try not to react when she prowls closer. The smell of violence is in the air. She doesn't even hesitate when she pulls out her gun and shoots one of them in between the eyes. So sure of herself and her decision making. Valeria is a woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to be vocal when she doesn't get it. Before the other man can process what happened she's grabbing him by the hair and dragging him back roughly. Throwing him to the floor. You hear the breath knocked from his lungs.

You watch, entranced, as she beats him. Balling up her fists and repeatedly pounding into his face and chest. It's quick and efficient. Though he's still left twitching. It seems Valeria is feeling merciful today. She leans down close to his ear and hisses out a warning.

"Fuck up again and you'll be drifting home in pieces."

You want her to hit you and threaten you like that. Please, lord, just once let it happen? She stands and steps over his body like it's trash on the sidewalk. Valeria stalks past you and you turn and follow her dutifully.

You two walk into the elevator and wait while you ascend. Valeria's gray tank top has a few specks of blood staining the front. Speckled just under her rosary. She's still tense which has her flexing her arms unknowingly. You want to run your fingers over them. At a closer look you see small, silvery ropes of scar tissue littered among her arms.

"What the hell are you looking at?" She snaps, breaking your focus. Your eyes snap up to hers. Meeting her glare head on.

"Nothing." You murmur. 

"Well cut it out, pendeja." She growls. "It's rude to stare. Ya deberías saberlo, imbécil."

"Sorry." Though you're not really sorry.

The elevator doors slide open and she's out. You follow close behind like an over eager puppy.

"You!" Valeria says harshly, pointing at a man going over inventory. He jumps and looks at her.

"What?"

"Go to the warehouse by fifth and make sure everything is accounted for." She demands. Brows lowered. Valeria has one of those voices that commands attention even when it's not barking orders at you. When she's not yelling, she's usually being sarcastic and sneering at whoever she's speaking to. Like they're stupid and inconveniencing her by talking to her. The man nods and scurries off. She rubs a hand over her face. Something she does when she's getting a headache - and you're delighted to be privy to that information. "We have paperwork to do." she says.

Valeria can feel your eyes boring into the side of her head. She tries to ignore you while she works. You're weird. Valeria thinks of you as strange. She's seen that look on your face whenever she's bitching someone out. Eyes wide and glazed over, lips parted like she's giving the most compelling speech to ever grace your ears. Even when she's yelling at you for doing something wrong you have that look. She suspects you're into that kind of thing. It's not like she purposefully puts on a show for you sometimes. Playing up her anger to worse than it is. Even if she was, so what? Valeria isn't the type of person to be looked at with awe, and while she does revel in the fear and hate, it feels nice to be looked at differently.

It's hard to find someone who is able to withstand her temper and sharp tongue. Not only are you able to withstand it, but you seem to like it.

"You're staring. Again." she drawls. Looking up at you with an unamused expression. Anyone else would look away under her withering glare, not you though.

"Sorry."

But you're not. She leans back in her chair and rests her forearm on her desk. Not subtly flexing it for you. "Did you do anything productive, or have you been staring this whole time?" She snaps at you. "You told me you could handle this work, but it feels like something as simple as paperwork is too hard for you."

"I can do paperwork." You reply. Your voice is quiet but not because you're hurt or scared.

"Then do it." she says dryly. You look down and return your attention back to your task. You're weird, but Valeria likes that you aren't scared of her. Valeria likes the way you look at her, like you're five seconds away from pouncing on her.

It's hard to focus on your work when Valeria is only a few feet away. The desire to look at her face, mature in a way that only age and stress can do, is strong. She's strong, and aggressive, and homicidal, and so, so hot. You need her to scream at you, then you'll die happy.

"When we're done, we're going to go bet something to eat." She says. It's a command, not a request.

"Like, you and me?" You ask hopefully.

Valeria sighs irately. "Do you see anyone else in the room I could be referring to?" She asks dryly. 

"Right." You smile.

Valeria shakes her head and mutters under her breath.

"So..." You pipe up after a few minutes, watching her scowl when you do anything besides work. "Are we going to dinner in a date way?"

"Did you inhale paint fumes as an infant?" Valeria retorts. "Yes, it's a date. If you keep asking me dumb questions it won't be anymore."

"Sorry." You reply, still smiling dumbly. Forever unperturbed by her words.

[problematic-yuri-poll]

Problematic Yuri Tournament Season 2 - Losers' Round 7

Murciélago vs. My Girlfriend's Not Here Today

Murciélago (manga by Yoshimurakana)

action, comedy

Sexual Content: HIGH; Gore: HIGH; Violence: HIGH

Submitted 2 times.

Submitted problematic elements:

Main character is a serial killer lesbian. theres incest, rape, body horror, emotional manipulation, among others

Protagonist is a serial killer, sexual predator, and a pedophile. She's basically the worst woman of all time. She also manipulates several women into sleeping with her.

Submitted content warnings:

oh yeah i mean tw for violence, incest, rape, bullying, children in peril and others

Extreme violence and gore, explicit sex, sexual assault, pedophilia, child murder, cannibalism, and just a general mess of nasty stuff

Submitted propaganda:

Its got an actually evil lesbian MC who has a lot of depth. Its funny as fuck and its got really interesting narrative, amazing action and compelling characters. Its also very sexy and beautifully drawn

Kuroko Koumori is the best character in yuri history and absolutely nobody does it like her.

My Girlfriend's Not Here Today (manga by Iwami Kiyoko)

drama, romance, psychological

Sexual Content: HIGH; Gore: NONE; Violence: NONE

Mod submission.

Mod-submitted problematic elements:

cheating, dubcon, toxic relationships

Mod-submitted content warnings:

sometimes in this series consent can be iffy. also, occasional suicidal ideation, pet death, family death, parental abuse

Mod-submitted propaganda:

for those who love messy drama! self-described by the author as "disturbing trash yuri". maybe polyamory could have saved them but it's too late now and honestly we prefer to watch them get worse.

[cyber-night]

Fyodor needs help sometimes even if he doesn't want it. No smut today, sorry :(

Content Warnings: Self-neglect, degradation, humiliation, (Neither of which are particularly "sexy" it's more just Fyodor being put in his place through his own stupidity), this... isn't healthy for Anyone...

You sigh as you look at Fyodors pill bottle. You'd recently put a cap on it that had a timer telling when it had last been opened. You suspected that he hadn't been taking his meds. The timer showed that it had been over two days since Fyodor had taken his medication, and even then, he only took it because you brought it to him.

You head up to his computer room where you find him hunched over his keyboard, typing away at lines of code. "Hey Fedya?" He hums as if he hears you but isn't listening. You continue anyway. "You haven't taken your meds in a few days... how are you feeling?"

"Fine," He says without looking up from typing. "When's the last time you got up to eat or use the bathroom?" You ask worriedly. Fyodor sighs. "I do not need you babying me. I can care for myself, you know." He says flatly. "You haven't taken your meds in two days... I worry about you. When's is the last time you slept in a bed and not at your desk?" He stops typing and pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Not all of us get to sit around and do nothing you know some of us have actual work to do." This makes you pause irritation boiling under your skin. "Excuse me? I do plenty thank you very much. I'm the only one who does anything around here." You snap he has never been this expressly disrespectful to you. "You do nothing but annoy me and take me away from my work! I don't need your help! I realize you are too dumb to understand how important what I'm doing is, but you can at least have the decency to let me do it. As for what you do around here, you do nothing but take up space and money!" He snaps angrily you pause your eyes wide, all the times you've made sure he had water and tea as he worked, made sure he was eating, brought him food if he hadn't eaten yet, brought him his meds, all of that to him was simply an interruption? An irritation? Not to mention you took care of most of the chores, though he helped with a few such as the trash ...Fine then if that's how he saw it. "Very well, then I'll stop." You sat icily your eyes narrowed. "Since you will be fine without me helping, I'll leave you be." He seems pleased at that. "Good." Is all he says before he turns back to his monitors. You don't hesitate to turn and leave.

True to your words the next four? Maybe five days? You don't do anything for him. You knew when you two started dating, he needed something akin to a caretaker as he was oblivious to his own health, unable to feel hunger, thirst, or even exhaustion the way most do. It stemmed from his autism and you were willing to help him out of love for him. You never thought you'd have that affection thrown back at you in such a volatile way. You haven't seen him for a few days making no effort to seek him out.

You are sitting in the living room reading a book quietly when he stumbles in. He looks terrible. He hasn't showered in about two weeks at this point, hasn't had his meds in a week, and God knows when the last time he ate was. You only barely glance at him before returning to your book. You watch him lean against the counter as he makes his way to where his meds are stored. Once he get his hands on them, he looks at the caps timer, showing him its been almost a week since he's taken them. His hands shake as he struggles to open the pill bottle, the childproof cap, making it impossible for him when he's this weak. You watch him from over the edge of your book. He is genuinely struggling, but you can also tell he's putting on a bit of a show to garter pity from you to make you feel bad for leaving him to fend for himself. You don't give him any instead of going back to actually reading flipping the page. After quite a bit of time, he finally stumbles over to you and holds the bottle out to you. "Open this." He says gruffly. "You don't need my help. You should be fine." You say not looking up at him though you can see his hand trembling in your peripheral. Your words make him pause.

He tries to open the bottle again with no luck he stands there swaying slightly, his pride not letting him admit he was wrong or that he needs help. He tries to pull your book down, but he is too weak to succeed. You watch him sway again before he crumples at your feet, the pills bottle rolling away from him. You still don't look up from your book as you flip the page. If he wants anything from you, he needs to put his pride aside. He sits there, trembling at your feet for a few minutes before weakly whispering, "I'm sorry..." It's makes you laugh a little inside. "Pardon? I didn't hear what you said. Would you like to repeat that?" You ask without looking up from your book. "I'm sorry..." You nod. "Hmm, that's a start. What are you sorry for?" His eyes are unfocoused, and he's barely keeping himself upright. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"And?"

"...And I was wrong."

"About?"

"I was wrong, I do need you..." You nod again as you flip the page. "Yes, you do, don't you." He waits for a moment before he continues "...Are you going to help me now?" You laugh finally closing your book. "And why would I do that? You've done the bare minimum." Fyodors eyes widen, "please..." He whispers weakly. "Please, what?" You ask with a smirk as you watch him sway on his knees. "Convince me." He takes a shakey breath. I'm looking like he might cry. "Please help me... I feel like I'm going to pass out, and I can't... I can't take care of myself right now." You tilt his head back so you can observe him better. "It's almost a pity I have to put you back together... I kind of like you like this. Weak and pathetic, not that you aren't weak and pathetic normally, but... it's just you look pretty when your half way from deaths doorstep." He whines a hint of fear in his eyes. Sure, he could kill you with a touch, but the idea that he is weak and pathetic normally makes him uncomfortable. "I really should make you work for my help... but I'm feeling... Generous. So instead, I'll only make you beg. Sit back on your knees and put your hands up to your chest like a dog. I want to see you beg like one. After all, I have to care for you like a pet."

Fyodor shudders but does it his body barely stable for very long as he holds his hands up in an imitation of paws he looks at you, embarrassment evident in his face. "Good enough, I guess." You sigh idly, he whimeprs, letting his body relax so he doesn't fall further to the floor he rests his forehead on your knee. "Please~" He whispers meakly. Finally, you move him onto the couch and lay him down with a sigh.

You go get his meds, water, and soup since you don't trust him to keep solid food down right now. You come back to him asleep, and you almost feel bad about having to wake him up, but you know you need to. He needs to eat and drink. You carefully nudge him awake and set about nursing your brilliant moron of a boyfriend back to health. You wake him up not as gently as you usually would. You shove the pills into his mouth, then yank his head back and force him to drink, double tapping his cheek once he swallows. "T-thank you... my love..." You help him eat the soup since his hands tremble. "You wouldn't be in this mess if you simply listened to me, you know." You sigh as you pet his hair the soup bowl finally empty "If you had just been a good boyfriend and accepted my care you would fine, but no you have to be a selfish stubborn brat." He looks up at you with glassy eyes. "I'm sorry... I'll try and be better..."

You shake your head and sigh, carrying him to lay down in bed. A shower will have to wait till tomorrow. "Sleep, you can make it up to me tomorrow, Fedya." He nods and nuzzles into you, clinging to you out of anxiety that you'll abandon him again. You kiss his forehead as he drifts off.

[finniestoncrane]

As someone who is a clean freak with slight germaphobia and gets grossed out VERY easily (to the point that I wear gloves a lot LMAO), I would be MISERABLE with Digger. However. This goes not make him ANY less pretty-boy OR stop the fact that I'd make out with him sloppy style. ANYWAYS: Headcanons with him being with a clean freak? I'm nothing if not self-indulgent HGSHADGDHGAHDG ALSO HI FINNIE I HOPE YOU'RE WELL !!

Clean Freak Reader

KTJL!Boomer Headcanons literally couldn't be me, like literally, i am in awe of people who can keep things clean. unfortunately, digger and i would stew in our own filth, so we need people like you to come fix it for us (also i picked his nastiest face for this) 💙 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some mentions of nsfw things, it's fuckin boomer so of course

this is EXACTLY what he needs, i am a big believer in opposites attract and balancing things out and all that jazz!! so someone who can bring out a... neater(?) side of him would only be a positive

it means he can be his authentic self with the added bonus of knowing someone's going to clean up after him, or at the very least keep him clean enough that he doesn't die

he'd struggle a lot with letting you clean up his van, or trimming up his facial hair, or forcing him into a deep cleansing bath, because he would believe you are washing away his natural, sexy musk (which you would be, tbh)

but if the reward is having you actually touch him without grimacing or swallowing your nerves, then he'll concede

also, obviously, having someone who is a clean freak means that you'll be doing most of the tidying up, yeah? like the dishes, trash, laundry, general getting-rid-of-stains?

if so, might he trouble you to don a little maid outfit? i mean yeah, you're already doing him a massive favour, and no, he hasn't exactly remembered to thank you for it

BUT the least you could do is make it a bit sexy for him!!

you are going to end up in a situation where you're not sure when the line between mommy/daddy and actual parent got blurred

he doesn't mean to take advantage of you, and he doesn't mean to be so manipulative, but a few blinks of his big eyelashes can have you cooking, cleaning and mollycoddling him after his failed attempts at murdering the flash or robbing a bank

the positive is that he is very easily trainable, like a puppy!!

you just have to find his motivation. some puppies like attention, some puppies like praise, some puppies are treat and food oriented. you just have to find his thing!

and it's fairly obvious what his thing is...

so if you need to give him a quick handjob to get him to wash behind his ears or put his empty tinnies in the bin instead of on the floor, is that really anything less than a win-win?

i don't think you would ever change him, and i don't think he'd ever truly be appreciative of all your efforts, because he would never ask for things to be clean and tidy

but he'd cherish the thought you put into keeping him from succumbing to several diseases, and any time you spend around him is a bonus in his eyes

[ghostfacd]

LACY — QUINN HUGHES43

“smart, sexy lacy, i’m losing it lately.”

listen to olivia rodrigo’s lacy for better experience!

summary; you have always been insecure of quinn’s girl best friend, so what do you do? you swallow it down. it wasn’t until the jealousy started to eat you up that everything explodes all at once, and what comes out of it was never something you’d expect.

pairing; quinn hughes x fem!reader, implied oc x fem!reader

genre; angst, midlife crisis arc goes hard! reader gets massive self realization, lots of commentary (you see through reader’s brain with this one) quinn is confusing, everybody’s so confusing

Would it be mean for you to say you didn’t really like Quinn’s friend? Sure, she was one of his best friends and made sure to always compliment you whenever you were in close proximity. But why couldn’t you just like her?

Lacy Willers. According to Quinn, she had gone to Umich with him and they became inseparable after he accidentally fell asleep during class because he had ended hockey practice late and stayed up doing his assignments. He woke up with zero notes in his computer and had awkwardly asked the girl next to him, Lacy Willers, for help.

Lacy Willers was beautiful, inside and out. She was sweet to you, always keeping her distance with Quinn and respecting your boundaries as his girlfriend. She had long blonde hair before dying it brunette because according to her “YN looks so pretty brunette, I wanted to try it out.”

How could anyone hate her?

Her skin was like puff pastry, and you hated how perfect Lacy seemed to be. You just wanted one reason. One good reason to hate Lacy and not hate yourself for doing so.

“Babe?”

The voice of Quinn makes you snap out of your trance.

“What’s up Quinny?” You ask, shooting him a smile so he wouldn’t notice what was up.

“Are you still going to my game?”

Ah right. Quinn’s game. Shit—you had been so wrapped up in your thoughts these past few days that you seemingly forgotten all about it.

“YN..”

“No no, I’m going Quinn!” You reassure him, “don’t worry. I’ll get all my assignments in by then so I can go to your game.”

Quinn gives you one of his small smiles, the smiles that is only reserved for you.

Or does he give them to Lacy too?

“You okay?”

Curse Quinn’s big brother instincts. He always knew when you were feeling down, and you hated it.

“I’m fine Q,” you say, standing up to kiss him on his cheek. He’s so cute, you sometimes wonder what you did in your past life to deserve someone like Quinn.

“Okay,” Quinn doesn’t seem so sure of your answer but he doesn’t push. If there’s one thing about Quinn is that he knows his limits. He pulls, not push.

When Quinn’s game comes by, you find yourself sitting next to Lacy Willers and the youngest Hughes, Luke.

You excuse yourself for a few minutes, needing a breath of fresh air. Even past the seats, Lacy’s perfume lingers through the air. You swear that you see her everywhere.

When you come back, you see Lacy with her hand on Quinn’s back, a bright smile exchanged between them.

A knot forms in your stomach.

“YN! Hi!” Lacy waves you over, “Quinnier here made a winning goal last minute!”

Oh Lacy, it was like you were out to get me.

“Really?” Your face brighten up, eyes looking up to meet Quinn’s. In the corner of your eye, you see his hold on Lacy’s waist, but you don’t say anything, too tired to overthink or accidentally start a fight.

The familiar toss of keys and the turning on of the lights seem suffocating to you. You had no idea what was wrong with you. Quinn was a great boyfriend, Lacy was nice, so why does it feel like you can’t breathe?

“Lacy asked me to ask you if you wanted to have a girls night with her.” Quinn mentions as he takes a bite of his peach.

“Lacy asked you to ask me?”

“That’s what I said, baby.”

You don’t know why you feel so nervous. Lacy Willers asked you to have a girls night with her?

“I mean, yeah, I guess.” You shrug. Quinn throws the seed of the peach he’d just finish into the trash, making his way towards you.

He wraps his arms around you—a all too familiar sight from when he previously had his arm around Lacy, and placed his hand on your head, pushing it slightly so he could place a kiss on it.

Saturday night. Girls night with Lacy. You were scared shitless.

You clear your throat, pushing away the negative thoughts. It’s just Lacy Willers. Umich Lacy. Quinn’s Lacy.

“Hi!” The excited voice of Lacy sends you into a spiral of emotions. She’s in a pretty white silk pajama set with little hearts all around. Her hair looks so naturally perfect that you wanna curl up and cry. Lacy Willers, without even trying, can already take your breath away.

Smart, sexy Lacy. You remembered Quinn mentioning how Lacy was a nursing major. She was good at the arts too, you knew as soon as you stepped in her living room and glanced at the portraits on the wall.

“So,” Lacy sits the both of you down, the beautiful smile of hers never leaving her face. “You okay? Did Quinn’s dumbass do something?”

Your eyes go wide, “no! What makes you think that?”

She laughs slightly, eyes genuine. “Call it.. girls instincts. But really, you can talk to me. I know we aren’t that close but I’d love to become closer. I mean, you’re beautiful and so kind, doing Quinn a charity case if you ask me.”

Although Lacy’s so genuine and her compliments would’ve made anyone else drop to their knees, they feel like bullets on skin.

“Well I don’t know, I just feel weird.” You say awkwardly. “Quinn’s great, don’t get me wrong.”

“Yeah,” Lacy wraps her hands around her hair, making a quick ponytail and grabbing a ribbon from her cabinet to tie it up with. “I get it.”

Ribbons in her hair. She looks as pretty as ever. Almost as if she was made of angel dust. Your stomach is all in knots.

That night you slept on the bed fort Lacy had made, your heart thumping in your chest. Even in your dreams, Lacy Willers is there.

“How was the sleepover babe?” Quinn asks, placing a kiss on your head. He shoots a smile at Lacy who smiles shyly at him.

“It was good,” you say, looking between the two. It was as if they spoke to each other with their eyes, a language you didn’t understand.

“Quinn,” you say as soon as Lacy says her goodbye after dropping you off, clearing your throat.

“Yeah?”

“Have I told you I haven’t been feeling well lately?”

Quinn’s eyes shift to concern, his eyebrows furrowed. “You okay babe? Is it the flu?”

He reaches to feel your forehead, searching for a burning sensation, but to his surprise, you seem perfectly fine temperature wise.

“No, it’s not that.” You say.

It’s never been that. It has never been about you being jealous of Lacy being close to Quinn. It’s never been about you being scared she was gonna take him away from you.

It’s always been about Lacy. Smart, pretty, kind Lacy Willers. The girl who made your stomach turn in knots and your words into stutters.

Lacy Willers, the girl you seem to loathe lately. The girl that poisons your mind and everything that you do.

The girl who made you despise your own eyes for how hard they fell for her.

Lacy Willers, the girl you’re in love with.

[lovelytsunoda]

the cozy collection 2024

a collection of cozy fall-themed stories about our favorite drivers and assorted other characters!

for me, fall is synonymous with cozy university campuses and autumn colours, so expect college aus. additionally, expect the unexpected, as I’m a lover of halloween and am using that spooky energy to expand into grander projects than I ever have before.

shadows of the night | oscar piastri | smau

hiding in self-imposed exile after very publicly trashing bill skarsgaard's 'the crow' remake, horror final girl casper coolidge chances finding love, and returning to the spotlight

the scaredy-cat support group | logan sargeant | slice of life, comedy

after being dragged to see the scariest movie of the season, y/n is delighted that the blond next to her seems to be just as scared as she is

the sixth sense | jake “hangman” seresin | romance, supernatural, comedy

after a car accident leaves her with the ability to see ghosts, a police desk sergeant tries to adapt to life while managing her crush on the sexy pilot that lives across the street

heart to hot to hold | clement novalak | college au, romance, coming of age

breakfast club au about a group of college student stuck on campus over reading week and bonding over how bizarre they all are.

chateau (feel alright) | kyle kirkwood | college au, romantic

you’ve heard of only one bed, now get ready for only one blanket, in the middle of a campus-wide blackout.

from gas to solid | charles leclerc | smau

octoberfest is not for the weak. or those who have never seen one unfold before.

tbd | alex albon | comedy, slice of life

 “Put the chocolate bar down, i thought i told you those were for the kids!” 

dancing in the dark | mick schumacher | smut, romance

It’s flannel season and you look like a sexy lumberjack and it’s ✨ doing things ✨

the puppy bowl. | lance stroll | comedy, slice of life, satire

you misunderstood, this is a puppybowl party, we don’t do sports in this house

[missmurbertime]

So. SO. I HAVE VERY LITTLE SELF CONTROL AFTER I WRITE. SO TAKE THIS TRASH

NIGHTMARE DISCO DANCING IS JUST MY WHOLE HEAD RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW GO SEXY SKELETON MAN GOOOOO

[astoldbychae]

G-Shade vs No G-Shade 😩

Oh. Em. Gee. YA'LL! It could be pitch black and Penny would STILL turn necks and break hearts, babyyyyyyy!

Everytime I look at her this is all I hear:

FUN FACT: Victoria Monet is Penny's Voice claim. I don't think I've ever shared that but when I revamped her a few years ago I had my glass of [insert adult beverage here] & Jaguar (the EP) on repeat and her vibe just gave me miss ma'am. Victoria is so sweet yet sexy, and sultry...mesmerizing...TALENTED! (and all that is Penny's vibe). So it was only right!

And I think our girl TJ agrees:

😩 Now before ya'll get on my ass, YES TJ is still happily, madly in love with Deijah BUT apparently she does pop up unannounced to the clurb (not dressed for the occasion) from time to time and appreciates beauty when she sees it! 🤣 She was chatting with her at the bar (until some lady was all up in their business)...so my assumption is they know each other since they're both celebrities or whatev's. hashtag story crossover moment! 🙃Maybe TJ got a friend or teammate for our girl...anywho...

Not sure what busted townie lady did...but Pens was PISSED! 😩

I thought homegirl was hangry and chips would help...

but nope! 🙄

THEN JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE AN ENJOYABLE GAMEPLAY SESH...

thiiiiisssss heffa flew in like a bat outta hell (LITERALLY) and was staring Melo DOWN. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN TJ WAS HERE WITH HER FAVE PERSON! Her and Mel are inseparable! Back in Mel's party days they used to be trouble! Would have the girlies lined up!

Yup! Caught ya'll asses in 4K! [nothing happened but still...] LMAO

But it's the disrespect for me:

I stopped lurking on Penny for a moment to use control this sim for Marguerite because I wanted to see what she was about to do since she was staring at Mel like that but the AUDACITY of this heffa, it's Mel's speech bubble like "Hey Marguerite" and her's calling him trash! SHE IS OVER HERE GIVING HIM THE LOOK...BUT TRYNA COVER IT UP BY CALLIN THIS MAN TRASH! GIRL! If you don't get...😩 See, this is why she can never have nice things! She self sabotages like a MF! I can't make this up! As soon as I saw their speech bubbles I flung my laptop off my bed from laughing so hard. They are truly writing their own story at this point! I'm just here.