#Seriously what will this new Blorbo be?

[makeshiftstory]

So I realized there has been a weird trend when it comes to whatever characters in other media that I like, they almost always end up being an absolute Turbo Garbage Gremlin (Envy FMA and Little My to name the many gremlins in this grouping) as Curly had put it. There are only a few characters that are genuinely sweet that I adore (Kurama YYH and Melody HxH being among the very few). Though, at this moment and this reflects it, there is another character I like but still have no clue if they're going to be a Turbo Garbage Gremlin or a Sweet in the Blorbo category. Another question to everyone out there, do you too categorize your Blorbos? If so, what do you categorize them as?

[lotus-pear]

HEYY!!

Ok sooo, I LOVEEE your art and you seem like a super cool person :)

I’ve literally been in art block for like… 6 months… DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS ON HOW TO GET OUT OF IT????

(P. S. Sorry if this sounds awkward 😞😞)

ok firstly your user is soo real i hate gingers sm (as a childe main and a chuuya stan)

ok so i'm gonna tell you my personal method for beating my art blocks but you can't tell ANYONE ELSE bc i will be judged...........................................we're alone? ok. it's dazai. i just draw dazai. literally just try it ik what you're saying not everyone can draw dazai. no. sh. holding my finger to your lips. trust me. this is a tried and true method i have used time and time again and it has not failed me yet. that mothefucking whore of a man is somehow so easy and pleasing to draw imo. he's my go-to if idk what to draw.

[whysamwhy123]

Now that Mariah May's officially in AEW, I can write that silly little crackfic idea I've had bouncing around in my brain ever since the rumours started! Like everything I write, this fic will be for precisely no one, even more so than what usual. But IT'S FUNNY TO ME IN MY LITTLE BRAIN AND I WANT HER TO INTERACT WITH MY VARIOUS BLORBOS SO IMMA WRITE IT AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP ME except not read it, rendering it a waste of my time and making me feel bad about myself, I guess

[linabirb]

only a few mutuals know how insane i am about sunday and robin (and like. most of my faves.) and i would love to talk more about them but 1) i am not smart enough for that and i will just say the obvious things or i will just. project a lot and 2) i will not say anything deep and cool i will just go "ehehe they're pretty <3" every five seconds and 3) i love them in a "i have a robin body pillow and sunday is treated like my real bf by my mom and my therapist and i am very serious about it" way. yeah

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

#why is anyone shocked the tradcath mama’s boy wound up resenting his mother the second he got laid lmao (via @dwellordream)

the level of shock and dismay from greenies about aemond calling alicent a fool is insane. i thought you guys liked them being dysfunctional and hating each other. i thought we all agreed their being a team of evil misogynists wasnt a negative

[raointean]

Funniest responses* to the "What does "Blorbo" mean?" question

(In reference to my silmarillion fandom linguistics project, the results of which you can find in my "survey says" tag)

*not necessarily the full response, some are just fragments from longer responses. Also, I'm not filtering by "correct" or "incorrect" responses

Special Little Guy (gender neutral)

Lmao. That's like, my special little guy. He takes up my brain space. I'm rotating him.

you know how lilo from lilo and stitch has that doll she made, complete with backstory? basically like that

one's blorbo is a character one cares a lot about. it kind of has like... condescending or woobifying connotations? like expressing that Maedhros is your blorbo is sort of uh... one imagines like, a chibi Maedhros. cute, not scary. but it doesn't necessarily imply the speaker has distorted perception of the character in general, just a sort of fondness

The character a person wants to use as a doll/stuffed animal

A character who the author loves too much (and knows it)

"OMG Blorbo was in the new trailer for 5 seconds!" is a common statement

which often provokes... strange thoughts at 11pm.

Beloved character who you think about entirely too much and also enjoy putting in Situations

It implies some degress of being pathetic as well.

No relation to Blorbo Baggins.

The character you put under a microscope, put through the cheese grater, put into the salad spinner, and squeeze like a plushie.

A beloved character whom you want to both stick in a microwave and protect with all you have

character one fangirls* over (*gender neutral)

Just a little guy, whom I am deeply enamored of and just want to squish on the head and see what happens.

Favourive character, often pathetic, someone to pity as much as love

obsessed. baby. Will run my mouth off about them

the word "favorite" wasn't enough to encapsulate "the exact kind of character made specifically for me in the lab" either. my friendgroup started calling those types of characters "callouts" because they were calling you out by existing Exactly To Your Tastes

(not necessarily in a way that condones their actions, but deeply beloved nonetheless)

The "cinnamon roll" kind. Idk I love Namo but I'd never call him a blorbo, it just wouldn't feel right.

??

dear?

My personal favourite character, whom I want to adopt even if he's a dark lord

A particularly beloved (or beloathed-in-a-positive-way) character.

Generally seem to be problematic favs.

I think it was originally meant to be somewhat mocking, but it was wholeheartedly adopted and is now used unironically.

A favored character that usually is subjected to great amounts of trauma and or fluff.

A favourite character, usually male

The obsession character

Feanor/character you are unreasonably attached to esp. if they are a Bad Person TM

The character who is most special and beloved to you (and often that means you're gonna put them through The Horrors)

a character that makes you chew on the bars of your enclosure

Special little character from my shows(tm)

usually having an aura of kicked wet puppy (brimby)

You'd build a shrine to them

Idk, ask the children 😹. Er. Hot character you like? I'm sure people have very complex definitions explaining why they like the hot character but I don't take fandom that seriously.

Your guy (gender neutral), not a comfort character, but perhaps a character you would like to see experience the worst situations possible (affectionate)

occasionally blorbo from my floor (my cat)

Just a widdle pathetic guy 🥺😈

A favourite character, thuogh usually one you squash like a stress ball or squeaky toy rather than put gently on a shelf

Ungoliant

Guy (gender neutral) who I hold in my hand like a neat rock and look at

character whom i will put in a glass and shake

character you are putting in the metaphorical salad spinner

A favourite character, often a war criminal treated like they did nothing wrong, they are a little kitty

(character you're particularly attached to and usually put in physically and/or mentally torturous situations for fun)

A character you’ve imprinted on and like seeing in misery. They’re your wet cat you enjoy pouring water on but also toweling off

Your favorite character, to whom no harm may come (except in the service of angst)

my guy. my friend my buddy. the person

Literally your favourite ever character, but not like you want to f*ck them, more like "how much can i let them suffer?"

Your favouritest character from media that you like to put in all kinds of situations, but is not morally problematic.

favourite character you want to bully

a fictional character that you like to an obsessive amount, typically more than other favourite characters; your specialist little guy; someone you are unwell about; you don’t always have to like your blorbo per day but they must take up constant thought space

[artemistorm]

Here is my late rambling analysis of the new LU update:

I love Wind's face and posture. He's just like "Challenge accepted!" Hyrule and Wild my beloveds <3

A lot of people saw this sequence and went "oh no something bad is going to happen to Epona!" but I took it to mean that Epona doesn't want to go in the dungeon and that Twilight knows that Epona will be just fine hanging out outside (tasty snack time ehehehe).

I can't put my finger on exactly what's changed about the coloring but WOW it is popping. So vibrant. I love it. Made my eyes happy.

Also I love it when Jojo draws the gang in lines like this. It makes me think that she's doing it for fun (just like when you draw your OCs in lineups a million times cuz it makes you happy), that she still loves and takes great pride in showing off her blorbos.

Also, Wild is taller than Legend (and Hyrule) >:)

I love that he spelled this out to the others. Makes so much sense. In Lord of the Rings terms, most of the other Links are like Frodo and Sam running around to secretly bring the ring to Mordor, while Warriors is like Aragorn who straight up charged the Black Gates of Mordor with an army.

It's so funny how all the other heroes automatically assumed that Warriors' Hyrule had dungeons and that he just didn't bother to go through them. XD

So this implies that A) that comic where Wild and Hyrule met the wallmaster happened recently and B) it was sometime when Wars wasn't there with them, which makes me think that the wallmaster comic happened at the same time as this comic:

And then there's this:

I can't remember where I read it but I seem to remember Jojo saying that Legend was the most likely to prank others and this is an example of that. This is a characterization that surprised me at first (I would have expected Wind or Hyrule to be more of a prankster) but if you think about Who Legend Is, it actually makes a lot of sense.

I was trying to figure out which game this skulltula is from and my conclusion is that I think it is most similar to skulltulas from OOT 3D / MM 3D. I wonder if that means that they are in or near Time's time. Either that or this is a case of monsters getting mixed up between Hyrules like we saw in the Threatening Shadows story arc.

Time is clearly very wound up still over what happened to Twilight. While all the other heroes have seemed to pretty much bounced back after that harrowing incident and are caught up in youthful optimism and the excitement of a new dungeon, Time hasn't forgotten and he wants to make sure the heroes don't forget the seriousness of their situation and their enemy. Just because the Shadow was defeated once doesn't mean that they can do it again so easily (not that it was easy before).

My writer brain immediately interpreted this as foreshadowing that they aren't going to even make it to the central chamber before the group gets involuntarily broken up (trap doors my beloved mwahaha). Of course that may not end up being the case, they may make it the central chamber without incident.

I figure that ideally the group will split into 3 groups of 3, each group having at least one older Link (Time, Wars, Twi, Sky) and one younger Link (Four, Legend Hyrule, Wild, Wind). How much you wanna bet that Time wants Twi with him in order to keep an eye on him/protect him?

Anyways, that's all I got. Bye!

[faretheeoscar]

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

Pairing: Steven Grant x reader

--Warnings: 🔥18+, nsfw, nipple play, but also kind of fluff(?) cause Steven is just so adorable idk--

A/N: English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there’s any mistakes,

Word count: 800~ this is more like a blorbo tbh

As always thanks to my proof readers @mandodinstuff , @lauraispunk

You were getting ready to sleep, doing your usual nighttime skincare routine in the bathroom while Steven reads in bed waiting for you before cuddling to sleep.

Unfortunately for you, your hands have been especially clumsy tonight, for some reason you have been reaping your face pads in half and honestly just making a mess, that culminates in you don't taking the lid off correctly of one of your many bottles of toners/moisturizers and ended up spilling the whole thing on yourself, leaving you with a see through white shirt and one bottle of 35£ of serum spilled on the floor.

“Fuck me!“

You sighed and walked back annoyed to the bedroom to change your shirt for a dry one, you tried searching for a new one on one of the drawers of the bedside table were you usually store your pajamas in but to add to your frustrations you just encounter an empty drawer as you haven't washed any clothes for the past couple of weeks, you sigh and think that one of your boyfriends shirts will do just as fine, so you turn to face Steven to ask him to burrow one from him while tugging off your own wet one.

“Steven do you have a shirt that I could—“

It all happens very fast, when you turn around Steven is already leaning right next to you sitting on the edge of the bed looking up to you like a drooling puppy and without a warning his face jumps forward and his mouth latches on your nipple, making you gasp also jump bit back at the sudden intrusion.

“Hey!”

You try to warn him, but Steven puts his arms around your waist to pull you closer to the edge of the bed while he indulges on sucking one of your nipples, and buries his face further, he brings his other hand to pinch the other one and you let out a high pitch involuntary whine as he does it.

He keeps on sucking one nipple and then turns the attention to the other, while his hand continues on teasing your perky nipples, rolling them between his fingers, if you are honest with yourself at the beginning you were a bit startled and confused by his sudden intrusion but right now you are melting under his touch, getting the familiar sensation of warmth down on your nether regions.

Steven stops latching at your nipples and brings both of his hands to grab them, starts playing like an amused child, while squeezing them together and then letting them bounce, just before he buries his face on the nape of your breasts and motorboats them a couple of times.

You giggle and he looks up at you with that mischievous playful smile that you love, you close your eyes as you feel the warm sensation of his breath against your nipple again, but instead of getting the warm sensation of his mouth on you, he just kisses softly your breasts and lets them go with a satisfied smile, he scoots back on the bed and gets on reading the chapter in his book, like nothing even happened.

You are left frozen in place with a hazy mind, a confused expression and soaked panties as you watch him while he puts his glasses back on and resume what he was doing prior without even flinching.

“Steven… what the--? Seriously?” You climb on the bed and pull down his book by the spine.

Steven looks at you through his glasses

“Sorry luv, sometimes the intrusive thoughts just win” He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders as he goes back to reading.

You take his book away from his hands and toss it to the floor.

“Hey what was that for?!” Steven looks down at his book that is now just a bunch of with pages all scattered on the floor.

“Sorry love, sometimes the intrusive thoughts just win”

You give him a mischievous smile and before he gets the opportunity to even say something or try to grab the book from the floor, you jump to straddle his legs and start grinding yourself on him.

“Oh, bloody hell—-luv, what, are you--“ Steven tries to mutter a complain but you put a hand on his mouth to shut him up.

“Shhhh....you’re gonna finish what you started Grant” You grind yourself a bit harder on him earning a muffled moan from him and a hardening erection "Am i making myself clear?"

Steven just nods frantically at you as he bucks his needy hips up and the friction of his now fully hard member against your clit makes you both moan pathetically.

“Outta boy, Steven, just let the intrusive thoughts in again honey and maybe I'll buy you a replacement for that book of yours"

Fic Masterlist

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i just don't understand people who act like their headcanons are confirmed canon. and i'm not talking about the "X character has _____ because i said so" jokes, those are clearly light-hearted and not meant to be taken seriously.

no, i'm talking about people who will FIGHT you if you tell them that no, their favorite blorbo is not canonically autistic and they can't use that as an argument to justify said character's actions.

sometimes, it's not even about justifying actions. i recently saw someone say that Robbie from Gravity Falls had NPD because he projects his insecurities onto others and is kind of a jerk.

first of all, no, he's just a teenager. most people have some sort of insecurities, especially when they're teenager. Robbie is just a stupid teen who wants to make himself look like a bigger deal than he actually is, especially since people around him don't take him seriously. this is a very common phenomenon, it's not exclusive to people with NPD.

secondly, isn't it kind of shitty to assign this personality disorder to someone just because they're kind of a jerk? especially since the person who said this does not have NPD themselves and they admitted to knowing nothing about psychology, they just diagnosed Robbie with NPD because he reminds them of their coworker who also has NPD and in their own words, they "wanted to protect" themself from people with NPD.

like,, idk man. you have to have some sort of knowledge about this, especially when you act like what you're saying is canon and throw around terms like "undiagnosed narcissist".

people with NPD are already villanized enough. "narcissist" is the new "psychopath/sociopath", people just use that word willy-nilly to describe anyone they don't like.

[pleasestopdeletingmyaccount]

I broke

40 days

That's how many days left until season 7 premiere of 9-1-1. Just 40 days until my blorbos come back from war.

And I couldn't hold out

We're at least 2 years away from season 3 of Good Omens and probably 9 months away from season 3 of Heartstopper. Yes I am doing splendidly thanks for asking.

I couldn't take it anymore and started a new show, my brain need a new hyperfixation

Like an idiot, I chose Hawaii 5-0 because what could be better than a 10 season show ?

I'm 10 minutes into the first episode and already I'm putting clown makeup on 🤡. I swear I cannot get my brain to quit shoving dudes together. I seriously think I'm just lowkey delusional at this point

It's honestly so embarrassing of me but also they are gay. Gay

Sorry, nothing could get you to stay to run this operation ? Not even a task force to find the man who killed your father ? Not free reign over EVERYTHING ? PASS ?

But a hot hunk of man point a gun at you and suddenly you're interested ? Something (someone) changed your mind ? Gay

Oh what's that ? He's blond and buff and competent ? Oh he's witty ? Oh he's also bratty and you want to push him against a couple different surfaces ? Gay

Oh you feel like he can step to you and he's not interested in buttering you up or listening to you but obviously still respect you? Gay

Oh he had your back and saved your life ?

And as the petty ass man you are you "appointed" him your "partner" ?

Shameful Mr.Mcgarret

Shameful

But also I woulda done the same

Now if I had a nickle for every show a hard, jaded brown hair brown eyes soldier was suddenly captivated by a blond bimbo (affectionate), I'd have two nickles (scratch that 4, forgot about GO and OFMD), which isn't a lot but it's strange that it's happened twice.

Anyway, imagine how unsurprised I was when I curiously looked on Tumblr to see if the two dudes from 5-0 was a hot item and saw this tag with thousands of people :)))

I guess this is my humble request for the McDanno fanbase to accept me as one of their own.

I promise to bring much delusion

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[elvenbeard]

New Job: Don't Let Me Get Me

Part 2 of the aforementioned little VP project of "What kind of NPC would Vince be in CP2077?"

In this scenario he's still working for Araska, even if during the first meeting with him right after completing "Monster Hunt" it isn't as obvious (unless the player notices his Kenshin tech-pistol, *the* staple handgun of any decent Arasaka agent XD).

I had a hard time figuring out where this encounter might take place, but then decided for Jotaro's club - it's a huge location, and the player would get in Vince's way of retrieving some client data from one of Jotaro's personal computers (that they can discover via a questmarker or maybe after Johnny points them to it, something like that).

Vince will not disclose what he needs the data for, but a Streetkid!Player will recognize he's not your typical gang member, more purposefully trying to look like one while also remaining outwardly unremarkable. If the player decides to give him the data anyway he will never be seen again and the quest is complete xD

Otherwise, if the player decides to fight him or otherwise doesn't wanna hand over the data, Vince will deescalate the situation and disappear - but promise that this will have consequences. After a few ingame days have passed, the player will receive a message from a normal contact - a fixer, or one of their friends, about meeting them at/travelling to a Northside location for an important clue or a profitable opportunity (might be dependant on dialogues chosen during the first encounter with Vince!).

When the player gets there though, they're instantly incapacitated as their cyberware gets hacked (imagine a milder version of system shutdown - they're still conscious but not really able to move or do much).

Enter, Vince in his true colors XD He still wants the data the player stole from Jotaro, or at least know what they did with it so he can somehow track the information down that he needs. Again, the player can be cooperative or not, but Vince can be quite threatening and may confront the player about the Biochip in their head and how much money his employer would pay him for returning it. At some point during the convo though it becomes apparent that Vince is acting completely on his own - he's here with a random motorcycle, there's no backup, etc.

Vince will confess that he's planning his exit from Arasaka in the near future and wants to gather as much incriminating intel on his superiors and colleagues as possible to ruin their lives even worse than they ruined his. It's up to the player whether or not they believe him that xD Either or, in some way or another, Vince will have the information he wants by the end of the convo and the player is free to go.

If they've been cooperative or otherwise understanding, a male player can try to flirt with him, because why the hell not xD I think Vince would be down for a one-night-stand in the way it's possible with Meredith and Rogue (maybe right there on that bike, who knows 👀)

Either or, he will eventually leave, the quest will complete, and if the player helped or was otherwise cooperative, they may receive an update from an unknown number some time down the line thanking them for the help in starting over once more.

This was seriously so much fun to think about, can highly recommend putting your blorbos into even more situations as an NPC like this :D I might make this conversation layout as a little "for general use" template somewhere down the line, cause I'd love to see some of your characters and how they would be like as NPCs!

[nabanna]

lord help us all I've been given a reason to think about Dracula novel/Drizzt series crossover

I love following canyourfavesurvivecastledracula (I especially love seeing characters I'm not familiar with on there) and they recently got an ask about my little guy Drizzt Do'Urden but didn't know all that much about him BUT YOU SEE (unfortunately for everyone who knows me in any way) this is a crossover of the two major fandoms that have become my entire personality in the past year or so! so as someone who's eagerly awaiting the return of Dracula Daily Season AND reading multiple of the Drizzt series books as we speak (simultaneously! help..) and considers him a blorbo to tenderly and lovingly put in the microwave to watch him dodge the radiation like an ant, I'm taking a crack at it because this looks like fun :D

Making my own post because this is purely to be enrichment in my enclosure and also it's.. gotten So So Very Long.. also pouring one out for my other account where I normally would post this sort of thing that I simply cannot log into anymore for mysterious and unknown reasons. (Literally it's still like There and I can See It but trying to log in takes me to 'make a new blog' pages and... wait I'm silly I think I know why. the email died. no idea how to get back in without the email.)

ANYWAY

To the thought experiment:

Could Drizzt Do'Urden Survive Castle Dracula?

Short answer: Yes, it's not a fun time for him, he saves the baby though!

Long answer:

Using the blog's stated general criteria...

Overall approach to the supernatural:

Is an elf, knows what a vampire is, however D&D vampires work differently from Dracula vampires so he would not have all the information on that front if it came to a confrontation. (Knowing the Drizzt books, it would definitely come to at least one fight or at least a tense chase sequence.)

Also depends on how quickly he clocked that this is, in fact, a vampire, and whether Dracula could catch on to him catching on and spin things in a way that kept Drizzt relatively chill OR decide it's time to strike (which he could probably escape) (though now I'm thinking about Vampire!Drizzt....... no no I shouldn't.... unless.....)

The presence of Guenhwyvar (constellation panther BFF my beloved) would afford him some protection other than Dracula's whims, and companionship which is Very Important as he has been known to go feral without sufficient friendship.

Probably takes all the local superstitions very seriously because where he comes from if someone's like "there are ghosts that come out on certain days" and "there are monsters in these woods" they mean it very Very literally.

Dracula's general inhuman behaviors he could take in stride and adapt to pretty well I think, he's known a lot of really eccentric people and is from Fantasy Zone, so the idea that Dracula isn't human wouldn't be scary or even all that weird. Vampire, yeah that's sus, but just non-human? you walk past a hundred non-humans on a single street in most cities where he's from. Many of the eccentricities might be explainable just by going "Ah, he seems to be some kind of wizard. Yeah that checks out." Doesn't seem to be sleeping on a normal schedule or at all? Drizzt does that too! Sees too well in the dark/doesn't seem to use lights much? Darkvision and light sensitivity, same! Moves inhumanly fast? A little concerning but why not. Tells stories from centuries ago as if he was there? Elves do that all the time and it's because they were, in fact, there. (Also some human wizards do all of that too, just because.)

Now because things work differently between these two settings I'm not sure how much his general familiarity with things in the Forgotten Realms would help him here, like he's taking it all in stride but does he know how to protect himself against a Dracula-type vampire? Does he know magic is so incredibly rare and (apparently) usually evil or does he think this is just an unusually magic-less region?

Whether they would accept the crucifix from the old lady:

He is a polite young man so yes of course he would, and because the lady doesn't know what a drow (or an elf?) is, she probably wouldn't think "evil!!!" like most of the common folk in the Realms do, so much as "weird-looking (yet androgynously beautiful) young man" or depending on the local superstitions may assume he's some sort of fey being? or just like, really exceptionally foreign foreigner.

Assuming she still offers it, he would accept it despite not knowing what sort of deity it's for, because he recognizes it's a token of goodwill and he loves expressions of goodwill. Would definitely go and write about it in his little diary to both wonder what she's so afraid of/what sort of protection it affords, and also gush about the kindness and possibly whether this expands or aligns with his current understanding of morality.

This plus the other Superstitious Behaviors would clue him in that something's up so he'd be going in with that knowledge, prepared to figure out what's going on and what the villagers are so afraid of.

Whether they would go exploring after being told not to:

100% and he might even be stealthy enough to mostly get away with it!

Demonstrably does not like being restricted, only went along with this stuff when he was younger because the indoctrination ensured that he literally had no idea there was any other option (also his dad sparred with him daily to get his energy out so his zoomies were managed)

If Dracula really truly wanted to discourage him from any particular places he might just need to come up with an explanation, but he might also be entertained enough by Drizzt's sneaking and snooping to let him roam and see where it goes. Drizzt is better at stealth than Jonathan but they have different flavors of wet cat charm which Dracula may want to handle differently.

Depending on how you read the scene with the vampire ladies trying to "kiss" Jonathan, like how much of it was vampire charm making him feel kinda into it or potentially more of a paralysis situation, it could go differently just because Drizzt may or may not be able to break out and run away very fast, or just kinda endure it while feeling Really Bad And Gross about the sexual overtones. (Based on instances such as him resisting drugs and exiting the room as fast as possible when a priestess was coming onto him, and going feral to push through a paralyzing poison to prevent an assault on another person.) (I read him as incredibly demisexual and he demonstrates being sex-repulsed to everyone outside of the very short list of people he's actively very close friends with and attracted to.) (His feral side has been known to come out in these types of situations but not all of them and it wouldn't necessarily always work either.)

The girlies would not put him off of exploring for very long but he would likely be trying to avoid all possible run-ins with them from that point forward. Unfortunately for him he is a tasty little guy and I think the girlies would actively mess with him against Dracula's orders, perhaps in part because he's an elf and they find that interesting and engaging. Enrichment for their enclosure! Horrible time for Drizzt. Exactly the way the vampire squad likes it!

Verdict: He has a bad time but he's gotta run around he has the zoomies. Dracula could possibly prevent this, if he wanted to prevent it, by letting him into a training yard of some kind so he can get out his energy.

Ability to manage the whims of a Rich Jerk / hold Dracula's interest:

This one is harder and probably depends on the circumstances of him going to the castle, like what his goal there is, and around what point in the timeline he's at. I haven't gotten through all 30-something books just yet but my answer is Probably?

Just the fact of him being an elf and having some innate magic abilities could possibly be enough for Dracula to find him interesting enough to keep around. He's not a wizard and his innate spells are mostly harmless, more battlefield management than anything, so he's not magically a particularly powerful threat to Dracula, just decently interesting. He could also go on about how magic works where he's from, though going on too much about his inherent drow magic would make him uncomfortable (which Dracula would probably like) and especially like, if he got into the ins and outs of Menzoberranzan specifically.

He would definitely bring out the active listening skills for Dracula's history and war stories. Might want to get examples of any particularly interesting fighting maneuvers. I wonder if Dracula would indulge him in a spar or let him practice? The castle must have a training yard somewhere, but would he let Drizzt keep his weapons/borrow some?

Usually good enough at reading the room to determine when is or is not a good time for the scimitars and the panther (combat mode) to come out.

Not the most charismatic, but insightful and clever. (autism-ass elf. elftism.......)

Raised in a very controlling environment with a strict social hierarchy where he was simultaneously part of a high-ranking noble family but also as far down the social ladder as he could be otherwise (male, youngest child, was supposed to be assigned spell component at birth, doesn't like conforming) so, again, he wouldn't like it but he could probably manage it.

Partly depends on how much effort Dracula is willing to put in to make the Friendship believable and keep Drizzt in the dark, or if he's interesting enough to more carefully balance a web of manipulation around.

I'm gonna say this point gets a Yes

Assuming he realized the vampires are Bad but too dangerous to 2v4, he would be so uncomfortable for most of it but is also funky enough that Dracula would probably find his discomfort and weird-but-trying-to-be-so-polite mannerisms entertaining. Dracula would decide this is his blorbo now. I may be biased but this is tumblr so actually Dracula himself said all of this to me personally in DMs.

Facility for climbing without gear (free soloing):

Lizard fashion? Spider fashion...

He Is On The Walls

Multiple points in the books involve him sneaking around places by climbing on walls and I believe elves are canonically, in general, weirdly good at parkour. So yeah!

Whether they would choose to risk being eaten by vampires over the certain death of being eaten by wolves:

IF he has weapons, the wolves aren't really certain death because he is a whirling tornado of death, I am so sorry wolves. If not then he might be able to parkour out of their way? He probably wouldn't want to fight the wolves though, because he is a disney princess nature lover and would rather free them from Dracula's control if possible.

Depending on how much he could figure out about how vampires work here, he may have some ideas for how to turn a fight against them to his advantage or otherwise.

Wait, this happens after the baby incident, right? If so then he's not getting to this point plot-wise, though he might have come back to try fighting the vampires after saving the baby, and depending on how he's doing that, he might still have to contend with the wolves at some point.

Decision: Doesn't want to go against the wolves at any point, but if necessary, he can out-parkour them.

General analysis from Me:

Main counts on the original post are accurate! He accepts the cross, survives the social situations as long as necessary, and escapes with the baby to give it back to the villagers upset but otherwise intact.

As soon as he realized the vampires were menacing the locals to any extent, he would decide to figure out a way to free the area of their evil. Unfortunately the best way for him to figure out anything about the vampires is to stay in close quarters with them for a little while. He has been known to pretend to side with an enemy to gain information or an advantage in a fight, but I'm not sure how long he could keep it up.

Dracula might string him along with Friendship (Drizzt loves friendship so much if he doesn't have friendship he will explode) but he would have to get his baby-eating roommates to play along and behave or else they could easily freak the guy out too much for it to remain believable.

Either way, Drizzt is not staying in that castle beyond the point of another person (the baby) being put in danger. There's at least one point in the books where he's protecting a baby while fighting some enemies and he always puts the baby's safety first. Also Guen can respawn, so if it's absolutely necessary to, she can get taken to 0 HP distracting the vampires while Drizzt improvises some way to get out of there with the baby intact.

That's as far as "survive Castle Dracula" usually goes because well he got out of the castle alive but now I am also thinking about possible plot beyond that point...

First of all the villagers?? Assuming they saw him as Really Weird Foreigner or perhaps some sort of fair folk rather than Literal Demon Spawn the worst they'd do is probably be very tense and silent after taking the baby back and let him leave uncontested without welcoming him in. Best case scenario is some or all of them, or at least the baby's mother, being grateful enough to help him out a little. But like what's he gonna Do after that? (Also if the villagers think he's some sort of fey guy then would they think there's something up with the baby now...)

I mean he knows there's baby-eating vampires in that castle now and he's very against the idea of leaving baby-eating vampires around. Even if he can't 2v4 all of them plus their minions he'd wanna do something about that. (2v4 rather than 1v4 because Guen counts as one) Would he try to gather allies to assault the castle? If he learned that there's times when he can expect them all to be asleep in their coffins would he try to just go back in and stab them in their coffin-sleep? Would he leave the area if he knows the local people are still in danger or would he reason that he needs to find help and come back?

(Also raising to myself the question of whether this is "specifically only Drizzt has been isekai'd into the novel Dracula" or if there's perhaps a little more crossover type setting blending, or if others from the Realms are in there, is Elminster around I know he's canonically been to Real Life Earth, would Van Helsing have some kind of tangent about how this has allegedly happened before, there's an implication that vampires aren't even Van Helsing's favorite cryptid what if d&d type elves are actually higher on that list and he knows all about them, is it even possible to put something resembling the plot and characters of Dracula into a D&D setting, what if I could make a Domain of Dread out of this–)

No matter what happened, Drizzt would be writing SO many diary entries which is perhaps the true main reason why he would survive, he's got that journaling and diary-keeping swag just like my good friend Jonathan Harker

(This is all assuming he has Guen because if he didn't have Guen he would wilt away of the Miseries. Might un-wilt specifically to save the baby and then re-wilt as soon as he remembered there's no kitty.)

[gonetoforks]

Poor Yuichi... Isn't he tired?

1. Can he make cute stuffed animal sounds when he's hit or falls to the ground?

2. How does he feel being surrounded by people different from him? (Since he is a stuffed animal and the others are flesh and blood).

3. Has he ever been in more complicated situations, on the verge of death, or seriously injured?

4. Is he too careful with his katana? What nicknames have the turtles given him? Does he know about Mrs. Cuddles?

5. Do some yokai know about him? Draxum, Big Mama, Hueso?

6. What was each turtle's and Splinter's first impression when they saw him? And how did Yuichi react?

7. I could see that Leo used to be afraid of him. If he isn't anymore, what does he think of Yuichi now?

Sorry for so many questions, I really liked the Au 👉👈🥺 (you can choose to answer some questions if you wish)

AAAAA NO WORRIES THIS IS LITERALLY ME WHEN PPL ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BRAIN BLORBOS;

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

1) yes, yes he does

2) He’s pretty used to it! both sides of his family are pretty different from him, the Cuddles’ being almost completely inorganic & his family in Japan being yokai. He doesn’t really feel it actively so much as it’s led him to think of himself as, *waving hands around face* different. For a few reasons, but it’s no more of an issue for him round the turtles than it usually is :D

3) He’s lucky enough to not have had serious injuries, his organs are pretty well protected by flexible metal! The most danger he’s been in is when he had to run away from a family gathering blind into a forest. (When he cries, water can get too deep in his eyes, & since they’re cameras they short out and go offline.)

But basically, it’s really hard to kill or injure him cause he’s kinda like if an octopus had metal protecting its organs lmao

4) He is absolutely not, since he can stitch limbs back on & sew himself up like nothing, Miyamoto has to constantly remind him to be more careful haha. (Since he’d be a yokai in Rise, his ghost lives in the Ki-stone; the Usagi family uses it as an artifact similar to the scrolls Splinter shredded in S1)

He has a few nicknames but they aren’t really used regularly; Jersey Jack, Raggedy Ichi, Cottontail, Skewer-Me-Elmo, mostly one liners like those haha. but Miyamoto calls him Ume-chan (lil plum) pretty regularly hahaha

& unfortunately yes, he is quite familiar with mrs cuddles ( ´△｀)

5) Yeah! Draxum’s seen him around cause he hangs out with his kids, Big Mama hasn’t really taken much notice cause he hasn’t done anything yet, & hueso knows him as “the guy who always orders motor oil to go with his breadsticks.” ksjfjaksjskjs

6) When they met, Raph was scared shitless for a solid few seconds, Don was like “hahaha you terrify my brother haha, who are you.”

Mikey, same as Cassandra & Magicsaurus, chilled out quickly & was excited to meet a new person & have a fun time with a new friend.

Leo was like “lmao, you from Jersey?” & Yuichi said “Yeah lmao,” & Leo was like “no wayyyy, surely you are evil and crazy/hj” and he proceeded to be completely biased towards Yuichi’s “jerseylike behavior.” (Yuichi in reality was just reminding Leo of all the things he dislikes about himself cause they’re so similar. Once he realizes this, their rivalry becomes a lot more jokey like Teru and Mob from mp100 & they grow closer)

Splinter did not really mind his presence either way, just some kid, friend of his kids, in his house.

Yuichi reacted in a very boisterous & unserious way in response to their interest & hesitation. & when he found out they were attacked by his aunt he was very apologetic haha, he got them a fruit basket that said “Sorry my estranged aunt attacked your home, the rest of my family dislikes her too, have some fruit, so sorry.”

7) After Leo & Yuichi grow close, Leo begins to see him as a person he wants to stay close to. He thinks he’s impulsive, arrogant, but he also sees how he affects others and how they feel very easily. And he can talk a LOT. Note how in the show, Leo goes silent when he runs out of ideas, he’s incredibly stressed, & his family isn’t taking notice of him. As opposed to his family who he always feels the need to talk around to “cope,” Yuichi is the guy he trusts enough to let the mask slip and go quiet when he runs out of mana.

They get each other ( ＾∀＾)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa genuinely tysm for all the questions, I’m happy you’re so interested in him!! ((o(^∇^)o)) leosagi doodles be upon ye 🫵

[yellowocaballero]

hi!! loved New Wave & its Jason addition, was wondering if you have any Opinions about the weird characterization of Jason in the comics/fandom?

Oh Jesus. You are talking to a certified fanon Batfam hater jkaljdsfkljsdf. In some senses, yes I do.

I see more 'good or at least interesting' depictions of Jason than I do pretty much any other Batfam character. A lot of the best Batfam fic has an extremely strong Jason POV. From a group dynamics perspective, having a Jason is important. Jason is important: his death irrevocably altered Batman as a series, marked a serious turning point in kid sidekicks and comics as a whole, and created a few pretty good storylines.

It's hard to say 'what's the real Jason characterization', because he constantly cross-contaminates himself. Jason's character is little more than the lens through which he's viewed, and what comes afterwards. Pre-Crisis Jason is indistinguishable from Dick. Post-Crisis Jason isn't that different either, until they decided to kill him, at which point they very quickly gave him all of his character traits we know him for today. Retrospectives on Jason for twenty years were of both this pre-post-humorous angry/impulsive version and The Dead Kid nostalgia, and now they're colored by his Red Hood anger and 'glory days' nostalgia. And then we've had the Batfam-ization of Batman comics and none of that matters anyway, because they're blorbos now.

@lazuliquetzal has remarked several times that the real problem with Red Hood is that you can use him for drama, like, once or twice - that he's a very good foil character for one or two very specific storylines. I agree. I think further usage of the RH as a villain should be separated from the Batfam, since you can't reconcile his pro-killing stance with the Batfam non-killing stance. Give him a different story if you want, but I think it's hard to slot the actual Red Hood character back into the Batfam. Not even sure that you should.

I think the main thing for me is that I don't understand why the 'good end' is always 'Bring Jason Home!' - why reconciliation is mandatory, why what we want is him moving back into the manor and having family dinners. Why. He's 19. Let him live by himself in his shitty apartment and smoke weed and shittalk his dad. He's an adult, he doesn't have to talk to any of you if he doesn't want to. He really doesn't want to. There is more than one way for a family to function, and it doesn't have to look like family dinners.

Regarding fic: obviously the softening and defanging is boring. There's an entire genre of stories where 'Jason hates Tim until he actuall meets him, at which point he's blasted by Tim's #woobie and starts taking care of him", but in the '10s the biggest conflict with Jason is that he irrationally hates a fourteen year old who did nothing wrong completely to the point where he keeps on trying to kill him. For a decade he was just melodramatic yelling. I think people are more interested in writing cute dynamics than they are characters, and Jason is forced into the sympathetic family dynamic as a result. Comics now do this too, because, fandomization,

Young Jason stories are also entirely whump, which is obviously boring. I've mentioned this before, but a big part of my thoughts behind the NW!Jason fic are just that there are a lot of 'Jason comes to the manor' fics, and in very little of them do Jason and Bruce actually like each other. It's pure whump and family bonding over any actual interest in the characters. Thing about whump is just - put in literally any character there, it doesn't matter. Pick anyone. Who cares.

This is all ignoring the number one biggest thing for me, which is: the fandom is obsessed with Jason, and I am sick of Jason, it is all Jason. Even Tim is worse off in comparison, because he gets moe blob'd so Jason can take care of him. Go write the women. Seriously. Jason's a whump magnet and it's exhausting, go write Cass Cain having a character arc.

TL;DR: Batfam fanfic only cares about cute brotherly fluff and whump and it is so fucking bad, man.

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

BEN Drowned headcanons

Finally I’m getting around to posting my current standing BEN Drowned HCs! The ask I got a couple weeks ago definitely motivated me to finish this finally lmao.

Trigger warnings for: Mentions of death, manipulation, suicide, drowning, violence, and the general mature stuff you should expect from the adult side of the Creepypasta fandom. There are NO CENSORS BEYOND THIS POINT. Read at your own risk.

____________________________________________

ageless/has kinda always existed since the internet has been publicly accessible

It/it’s pronouns, occasionally caught using they/them and even rarer he/him

Manipulative as fuck

Malewhore mansplain manipulate

Literally makes up a huge chunk of its personality idk what to tell you

Will doxx you

No seriously if you catch its attention you’re getting stalked

Stalks potential victims through the internet

Finds potential victims on forums and the “dark web”

Often goes after people who are heavily depressed and/or suicidal

Thinks it’s funny telling people to off themselves

Like fr its favorite hobby is basically being an average redditor

Probably the WORST mf to date out of all of my interpretations of Creepypasta characters

Gives zero shits about anyone besides itself

Seriously it does not care about you Y/N RUN!!!!!

Lies lies lies omg loves lying so much

Lies to get what it wants

Master “hacker”

If it’s stalking you say goodbye to any and all digital important things you have

Say goodbye to your laptop too

And switch

And iPhone

It’s all getting bricked by BEN if it finds it funny to do so

And it probably will

You like sleep? Too bad

Woe, nightmares be upon ye

Gaslighting KING. Deletes messages between you and people in your life on purpose

Has extensive knowledge of internet culture and video games

Knows every meme ever

Has created most of the “video game” Creepypastas as their own personal “proxies”

Sonic.exe, Smile.jpeg, The Princess, etc, anything inhabiting digital media that torments people, BEN is the one behind it all

Finds friendships useless but respects Slenderman enough to continue being a proxy for it

Got bored of tormenting the other pastas pretty fast, generally avoids them unless slender tasks it with giving specific info pulled from the web to the other pastas (news articles, police reports, locations, etc)

Out of all my HC characters BEN is probably the most serious/grimdark/gritty, I prommy not all my blorbos are as mature and serious as BEN

Takes on the form of a late teenage boy’s body, waterlogged pale skin, constantly glitching and dripping water. Speaks in at least five different voices/tones at once, including robotic AI voices

Only physically manifests to scare the fuck out of people

Stans Hatsune Miku

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

All these HCs are for BEN! Not Ben!!!!

Because after much deliberation I have decided that yeah I kinda do want some of the old BEN middle school me liked to fuck around with. So without further ado, here’s my Ben headcanons:

Created BEN as an AI program for when he can’t be at his computer

BEN is kinda like their “avatar” for the internet

He/they pronouns

Roughly about 20 years old, give or take a few years

Died in the mid 2000s in college

Went back home one weekend to pick up some furniture and whoopsies dad sacrificed me to the cult I tried to escape from

Obviously had a not so great home life. Chose the furthest college on purpose just to get away

His father never saw him as anything more than a bargaining chip and pawn for the cult of the moon children

The sacrifice and his death were what caused the mental split between himself and the AI

One half of him remained tethered to his physical corpse, the other half manifested itself as what is now the BEN AI

He can be in two places at once technically

He’s unsure if they count as two people or one. On the one hand, BEN is a manifestation of his apathy and agony from his death and did come from his own mind. On the other hand, BEN is able to function completely independently of Ben

After years of practice and honing their technical skills, Ben was able to fine tune the BEN AI into what it is today

I mean hell, the BEN AI wasn’t always this powerful and organized. The first few years after Ben’s death, he could barely get ahold of it

Sort of??? A ghost?? Like a fusion between a ghost and zombie

Like is obviously a corpse and can kinda go in and out of corporeal and non corporeal form

Has the skin tone and feel of a freshly drowned corpse, but isn’t constantly dripping water

Eyes constantly leak and drip with blood tho. Tissues are scattered all around his room with his futile attempts to keep the blood tears at bay. Face has a “pinker” color compared to the rest of his body thanks to how many times they’ve wiped and smeared the blood around

First they take your eyes, then they carve symbols you don’t understand into your flesh, and then they drown you. Smh

They’re much more faded now, but Ben has the scars of symbols the moon children cult used during his sacrifice

Similar in behavior/personality as BEN but toned way the fuck down

Like. Still enjoys tormenting people but can (sort of) empathize

Still an asshole tho

And a pervert

And a stoner

And a gamer

He’s a discord Reddit mod irl. Scummy guy tbh

Not afraid of water, just afraid of water damage on their equipment

Lives in the mansion basement

Hasn’t seen sunlight since 2004

Introverted as fuck

Prefers to be physically manifested, leaves all the digital movement to the BEN AI but can enter technology if need be

Cheats in any and all video games you play against him in. Hacker aficionado

Y’all know those fits people used to wear in the 2010s of like, cargo shorts and legend of Zelda t shirts? Almost exclusively his fashion sense

Like yeah he does have the link getup but finds it pretty tedious to get into

Does enjoy scene fashion quite a bit tho

And EDM

electronic stuff in general is his favorite shit ever

Him and the BEN AI never physically kill people, just manipulates them into offing themselves

He’s a weak motherfucker he physically cannot kill somebody

Emotionally tho he would mass murder if he could

The one thing him and Jeff can agree on

Bi, and aro. Kinda too horny and despondent to society to care for someone emotionally for more than twelve seconds

Could definitely stand to make a few friends though, and isn’t opposed to conversation if he ever leaves his gamer basement

Currently friends with EJ, Jane, Liu, Nina, and Helen

Has a tolerable relationship/mutual respect for Masky, Hoody, Jason, Puppeteer, and Slenderman

Doesn’t get along with/hates Jeff, LJ, and Clockwork

Sally sees him as an older brother figure. Unfortunately he’s a bad influence on the kid and also has no idea how to look after a child, he just kinda goes “fuck it we ball” anytime someone puts them in charge of Sally. Has taught her every swear and slur known to man. Thinks it’s hilarious to put her on the mic in gamer lobbies

“Hey dude check this out” proceeds to show you the nastiest shock video ever

Semi-fluent in Japanese despite being whiter than paper. Unsurprisingly a weeb

If he owns a body pillow he keeps it hidden with his life. They won’t be caught dead cuddling up to something like that at night

The mansion’s go to IT guy. Against his will but unfortunately if he wants to continue living in the mansion (or living in general) he has to take this role lest slenderman eviscerates him for defiance

Both him and the BEN AI have a major superiority complex, he thinks he’s way better than everyone else and is the cockiest bastard mf on the planet

Stans Hatsune Miku

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Thinking about Albert.

This is a little unusual for me; he’s not my preferred blorbo rotisserie. But here we are.

Mainly, I’m thinking about Albert’s role in the Moriarty family. Louis is very much the caretaker and keeper of the family—he has everything in order and makes sure everything is cleaned up and handled. William is the signpost and leader and guides everyone where to go (even post the Final Problem, when he’s not in charge per se—and yet it’s still him shining a light toward atonement for all of them). And Albert….? Eh?

His role pre-Final Problem was taking care of MI6 for William. He doesn’t do that afterward, of course, because Louis does, and Louis is does it better than him. He’s not a leader, he’s not a guide, and he’s not a keeper.

But I do think he functions as, well…a shield, of some kind. William is the more blatant one about trying to protect his family and friends from the consequences of…well, anything. But Albert is the one who is taking public flak for the family during the Final Problem and takes the public punishment. He’s the one who attended the House of Lords and handled social engagements. And he’s the one who emotionally supported William when William needed that so badly and didn’t know how to ask.

It’s a very Big Brother role. It feels sometimes like Louis does some of this protection, and it feels like William does, and that’s true. But Albert is not a guide, and he’s not a caretaker the way. He is solid and reliable despite all his seriously messed up mental issues and prevents anyone from getting in William’s way not by removing obstacles the way Louis might, but by making sure they are not there in the first place.

I don’t know that Albert really likes socializing or attention. But he does it, at least on some level, in some small ways, because he’s keeping the attention on him instead of William. Like I said, a shield. He’s taking the hits of socialization and flirting he doesn’t want so William and Louis don’t have to worry about that side of things.

As we go on into the future, I would like to see him continue to fill that role, as William and Louis have filled theirs in new and exciting ways. I think we could do this with Albert. But I’m not sure how it will play out.

He is very much an umbrella sheltering his brothers from rain, and that’s what he’s best at, and I don’t think this is ever quite as explicit as his brothers. But he’s good at it, and I’d like to see him figure out how to be a shield in a way that’s healthy for him, too. Because it’s not healthy to just keep taking all the hits. William’s learned that already.

It’s hard to clear obstacles out of everyone’s way ahead of time when you’re not a leader, and Albert’s not. But he can continue to be emotional support and borrowed resiliency, perhaps. He can continue to follow Louis’s lead and direction to clear obstacles alongside them, perhaps.

Maybe that’s what I want from them. William to shine a spotlight and Louis to lead the way there and Albert to make it happen. Louis is good at plans, and he can implement them, but Albert’s always been a fair hand at implementation himself. He did that masquerade ball, and he arranged MI6 and he executed plans around Whitley. He’s good at that.

Anyway, that’s Al thoughts, I suppose. Food for the Al stans?