#Serenity Lior Astor

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Hmm...

Words, words, words, whatever to do...Just give me a moment...

... ... ...Alright, I believe I have something for you, dear.

There’s something in the trees Something flying in the air There’s sights for sore eyes And sore eyes from the sights

Of spirits that are wounded by steel And men slain by soul All sights that have been seen Wear crowns made of thorns

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Neither of them said anything for a long minute. Murky water dripping carelessly into a puddle somewhere. 

Asivus looked Astor up and down, taking him in. He then nodded, before kicking his legs back out and resting his arms behind his head, resuming his entertainment of staring at the wall. This time he put on the smile.

“Welp! I was kinda hoping a couple decades imprisonment would do the trick, but execution is fine too, I guess. Swiftness and punctuality and all that.” He let out a fake yawn. “Though you’re wasting your time if you’re looking to give a prayer. I intend to go out without asking the gods for anything.”

“I’m not a priest.” Astor said bluntly.

Siv cocked an eyebrow. “Uh…...n...nun—?”

“What happened to you, Assivus?” 

“Ahhhh…And interrogation…” He nodded up and down again. “Then I’ll tell you what I told the other guy—you can goooooooo suck my dick.”

Siv turned to the side, fiddling with something metal in his right pocket, the rattling echoing on the stone floor.  He finally pulled out an old flask, shaking it back and for, the sound revealing a little less than a third of alcohol left in the container. He shook it again and looked at the seer. 

“Snuck this bad boy in, earlier! I know my way around a pat down or two, heheh…” He took a swig before gesturing towards Astor again. “How ‘bout you, choir man? Got any sorrows to drown?”

“A kind offer, but I actually value my health,” he replied. “You got any other contraband keeping you company, then?”

He tensed, but recovered so quickly Astor nearly thought he imagined it. Asivus then let out a laugh before taking another drink and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand—which despite the grime, was probably the cleanest part of his person. 

“So they took the nearest homeless looking pal and sent them down to ask me shit...that’s certainly new.” He studied the seer again. “What? We supposed to bond over our greasy hair? Lack of fashion?” Another beat of silence. “...I’ll admit, it’s working a bit!” He laughed, leaning back against the wall. 

Astor sighed silently, before cutting to the chase. “You’re being charged with manslaughter—the rampaging Guardian that destroyed part of the castle. But I know it wasn’t you.” Water dripped in the back end of the cell. “I want you to tell me about the malice.”

One of the cells down the corridor rattled, some Lizalfo shifting in it’s sleep. The echoing metal left a sense of unease in the air. 

“Listen…” Assivus’s voice dropped to a dangerously quiet tone. “I’m not looking for a defense attorney, and I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. So you should probably get on your way before you miss your sermon.” He glared at Astor, blue eyes seemingly a shade darker. 

“There were timelines where the world ends today, you know.” He stepped closer to the cell bars. “The princess far too weak to awaken her powers, the Calamity having grown just strong enough to erupt around the castle, infecting stone and flesh alike.” 

“Well whatareya doing here, then, Mr. Doomsday?” Assivus cocked his head to the side. “If the world’s supposed to end, shouldn’t you be...out there? Maybe holding an ‘End is Nigh’ sign or something?”

“It doesn’t end for us, though. I’ve spent my life studying the endeavours and feats that await this world and the next. We’ve luckily still got a few years before hell starts to walk.” Astor stepped closer again, unwavering to Assivus’ gaze. “I’m merely curious about how your little disturbance—or perhaps, failure of a disturbance—coincides with the Calamity’s potential return.”

“I fucked with some Sheikah Tech. Guardian got funky. Brat nephew saves the day. I get arrested. Don’t remember running into any ancient evils on this little joy ride.”   

“You and I both know the official report is made-up bullshit. I imagine your spite is derived from the unfairness of the situation.” He tucked his hair behind his ears. “Guardians can’t be corrupted through mechanical means. They’re forces crafted to take on ancient magical forces, and as such are engrained with magical components. They don’t just break out into violence over a broken gear, much less be purposefully made to go against their ancient purposes.” He scoffed at the smirk on Asivus’ face. “Especially not by some idiot like you.” Asivus placed a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended. 

“In addition,” Astor continued, “I imagine your father didn’t have purple and gold slitted eyes. So that trait you occasionally have is certainly suspect.”

Assivus blinked, and the creeping colors in his eyes faded along with his confident smirk. He rubbed his blue eyes and sighed. 

“Hey well that’s just rude,” Siv said, playfully. “Maybe I got it from my mom.”

Astor clicked his tongue, before clenching his jaw.

“Welp, you’re certainly a smarter cookie than I gave you credit for, purple man.” Asivus crossed his legs—criss-cross-applesauce—and turned completely too Astor. “But the fact of the matter is, I don’t really care anymore. And I don’t know why you care. Knowing doesn’t change anything for your little predictions, does it?”

The prophet’s face remained unreadable. Siv started scratching his head. “You know I do remember you now...I’ve seen you around. You used to pester the Dick-Rhoam a bunch. Walking around with your little maps and star charts or whatever...yeah, yeah. The weirdo that would tell the rich bastards around here that they were useless. Very bitter insults, I respect it! Suppose some heroes wear robes over capes.”

“It’s not about insults, it’s the truth.” Astor narrowed his eyes. “I’m trying to help you, but rest assured, we all are doomed to be consumed by the Calamity.”

There was silence between them again, but the slight smile on Siv’s face didn’t fade.

“You know, this whole dark and edgy doomsday act is great and all, don’t get me wrong. But since it’s just us alone here there’s no need to keep up the act. I mean, I’m pretty sure I saw you left that anonymous gift of exotic bird encyclopedias in Larc’s office last year.” Astor’s jaw tightened and Siv winked. “And I know because he claimed he saw me leave it—and I don’t buy books, ever. Might wanna change your wardrobe, you wouldn’t wanna be confused as the homeless orator—”

“The Malice.” The seer cut in. “How’d you get it?”

“Ah, it all started when I was born in Rauru Settlement to Lord Ligero Arist—”

“I mean how did you manifest it?” He articulated.  “Everyone has malice, yes. But it takes something else to make it a physical power. Much less enough to infect Sheikah Technology.”

Asivus tapped his chin for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders. “Can’t I just perish in peace? The ol’ axe seems for sharper conversation.”

“Look, I just want...I want to…” Astor shook his head, restarting. “Any information I get is something I can use to make our future demise just slightly more bearable for whatever unlucky generation lives. Don’t you care about that?”

“Nope! Got no kids. Larc and his brats either didn’t care to look at me, or Larc’s too much of a spineless brother to care about me over the rules. Soooo, I’m all for looking out for me, myself, and I, thank you very much.” He tapped his foot against the stone floor. “Plus, I had an ex that used his kids to scam me of 6k rupees in a pocket monster match a while back, so I’m still recovering from that.” 

“Can I trade you then? What do you want? If I come back here with a good wine, will your lips loosen?” Astor was already mentally planning who he could buy a bottle from without a paper trail, already expecting Siv to say yes.

Water continued to drip and drip and drip. Asivus sighed.

“...Nah.” Astor raised an eyebrow. “I’m good...you can’t get what I want, anyhow…”

The seer looked at him for a long moment. Siv had gone back to staring into blank space, deep in thought about something that had caused his smirk to fade.

Let’s see...What would a dead man value? He’s got a rough relationship with his family, he’s got no friends, he’s tainted by a crime of his past…

“Are you interested in the past?” The prophet finally asked. “I know stuff about your mother. If the material doesn’t mean much to a dead man, then I’m all for a trade of information.”

Siv’s eyes suddenly shot up, specks of gold appeared in his pupils before disappearing.

“Wh..*What...?*”

“I’ll start. We’ll both trade details bit by bit, alright?” It was his turn to smirk at the look on Asivus’ face. 

“I’m a bastard child.”

Asivus scrunched his eyebrows. “The fuck does that have to do with my…” His eyes suddenly widened, his mouth opening and closing. He quickly checked his flask to see how much was left, and took a swig. He stared back at Astor. “Explains a bit but...What the actual fuck.”

“Her name was Serenity. Serenity Lior Astor, from Deya Village. There, I think that’s adequate, yes?” Astor gestured down to him. “Your turn.”

Asivus scratched his chin, before standing. He drank the rest of his flask, before dropping it to the ground. “How’d she die?”

“Your father is Lord Ligero. You know how this game works.”

Siv bit his lip, for a moment, before shrugging. Suddenly, purple started to creep at the edges of his eyes, pupils thinning to gold.

“OK, magic man. But don’t be a snitch, alright?” Assivus raised one of his hands open in the air, and for a moment, Astor wondered if he was supposed to take it in a weird sideways handshake. 

Then, the air swirled, a sensation of mixed euphoria and misery tainting the corridor. Cell occupants were rustling.

A glow of magenta swirled up Assivus’ forearm, before swirling in an orb hovering over his palm. The sound of it forming was like the thick, suffocating scream of hot metal as a smith plunges it into water.

The malice left as quick as it came, and hovering in Assivus’ palm was a strange, and beautiful astrolabe. It’s alluring faint glow nearly made him reach out between the bars to touch it.

“Your turn.”

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Hmm...How curious...

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...You’ve been met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

How's business going?

It’ll do better when you leave during closing time, thank you.

... ... ...Alright. I think that’s it.

Now then. Your Highness...Ah...Mr. Hartell and I will go have a chat with your parents, but it’ll be dreadfully boring, so—

It’s ok, I’ll have Terrako to entertain me now that he’s all fixed up!! 

*Beepbeep! Chiiiirp!

Of course, that’s quite wonderful. Though I was just thinking—to make sure you don’t accidentally...disturb...your mother—why don’t you head to the bedroom upstairs? I have a son around your age, and you could play together. You and your little egg friend can hang out with him, I’m sure he’ll love you both since he can’t get out much.

A new friend!? That can't escape?!?! Oh sure!! Absolutely! Terrako, practice your friendly greetings!

*Beepbeep!Boopbopbeepbeep!

Perfect! We’re gonna be the champions of companionship, and NO ONE can stop us! Mwhahaha...

That’s a good girl. Now run along now...

Onwards!

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Come in, come in, my dears! Anything you break, you buy. Divinations will be open in a bit! 50-100 rupees for casual readings. 300+ for anything more!

Make yourself at home, don’t be shy, I understand. 

Everyone has questions, for the present, the past, and future. I shall do my best to answer them...

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Ah, Elane! I trust you took care of yourself this evening? Hopefully you weren't too bored?

Oh I don't think you need to worry about her. She spent plenty of time rummaging through the old antiques I had in storage.

Yeah!! Miss Hartell let me have a cool abbertabe!

It's pronounced, "astrolabe!"

Hey! No yelling down the stairs! Come here, now—

Aha, well I'm glad to hear it, my little star.

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

hello ma'am, i would like a fortune please! where will i be in oh, 40 years or so? i know 5 or 10 years is usually what people think about but, i don't know, i think 40 is more exciting

Oh my...You’re one of those very eager dears, aren’t you? Oh! And you have the gold rupees to suit. Marvelous. I’ll just take those off your hands, thank you!

Now, just take a seat in here. Get comfortable, don’t be shy. These kinds of readings are painless, I promise. Although, I do need a bit of your hair...uh-uh-uh! Hold still! You already paid! This is what you get, now. Don’t be childish—

There. And don’t worry, this is perfectly safe. And don’t...ugh, your shadow is messing me up, move away, move away please? I need the skylight and the stars. Ah! Perfect, here we go.

Fourty years, you say? How very specific...And you know how these work, I assume? The more specific questions you ask, the more vague the answer?

No refunds, by the way.

Now.

Let silence reign...

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Combination intrigues me, can we hear more on that?

Well it’s like I said before, I can’t look at someone’s future if they aren’t here. But I do a sort of...fragment, of the experience if you have an object associated with them. The more close they are to the object the better. 

But of course, you’d need to bring something in yourself, or buy something that peeks your interest?

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

DOPE AESTHETIC FROST WATCH FROM SOME DASHING BADASS GENERAL AAAAAND I GET TO STEAL SHIT FROM LIGERO? IM ALL IN BABY! *slams like....seventy rupees on the table*

Marvelous! ...Now then. You say seventy, I say one-twenty....we meet in a happy middle of a silver rupee? I’ll give you a little discount since you’ve been such a dear...Thank you, thank you. 

If anyone needs anything else, just say the word...

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Fourty years from now...hm...You're not from around here, are you?

I cannot quite tell where you are, but the powers of the divine are everywhere...First wisdom, then power, then courage. A truly spectacular event await, ending in golden flames.

Fourty years...and I see that something happens to you, or perhaps, someone you care for or admire. Something that may not be necessarily deserved...

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Esteemed guests?

Mhm...right, pardon my casualties, ma’am. Her Majesty and her royal family are here visiting Deya Village this evening. As for the reason why? Hmm...

...You're obviously a curious one. Perhaps my memory might come back to me if someone actually bought something from my humble, humble shop? Or if it’s not antiques of the past you’re looking for...I ocassionally dabble in the future, as well.

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Ah! Done with your tea? Let me have a look. Don’t clean up, now.

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Do you know what a milf is? Because you qualify ;)

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Uncharasmatic and unoriginal statements such as that are probably the reason you’re left here single and begging for my attention in the first place. 

Do be a dear and at least buy something, so I at least have incentive to further gaze on your infatuated face...

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

why is there a flamespear in your closet

Flamesp—? OH! Yes, yes, it’s my husbands old thing, he used to be forced to train as a knight and such, and such, and such. It didn’t work out, but it proved handy when we traveled, at least! 

But we don’t do that anymore, so the most I do is use it to start the fireplace. 

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

Arts and crafts? Is he doing woodworking or something? Because that's cool.

No, Didymos is just interested in metal work all of the sudden. Not exactly sure what sparked it, but I’m not one to complain! I’m glad he’s taking on new hobbies.

MOOOOM?? DO WE HAVE ANYTHING I CAUSE USE TO WELD STUFF?

Um, I’m not too sure? I'm not that familiar with the practice. I think your father has an old Flamespear in the hallway closet if that helps!

OK, THANKS MOM.

No trouble, dear! Aha, children. So precious, right?

[hyrule-kingdom-fortunes]

where they off to?

Well why else would they be off these days? I want those two to get along, more, so I'd surmise attending Her Majesty's birthday party would be a good opportunity.

Obviously I have to stay and care for the shop, but...I'd say there's nothing of greater value than a pleasant relationship with your parents, no?