#Seokmin prince au
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multifics99 · 2 years ago
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Fic concept
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Seokmin is the crowned prince and you’re the daughter of the palace cooks. You and the prince had been friends since childhood, he’d sneak away from his lessons to the cabin your family lived in on palace property. One day when you two are a little older you realize you might have a crush on the prince, but little do you know he has one on you too. Of course neither of you mention this and continue on as normal. Eventually though as Seokmin gets older he has to attend to his duties more seriously and he gradually comes to see you less and less until it is not at all. You only see him when you are waiting on him and his friends of higher stature in the palace. One day something tragic happens and you and your father must leave the palace and open a bakery in the village. You don’t see Seokmin for years until one day he’s crowned as King, and he invites you and your father to come back and work in the kitchens. Does he have ulterior motives? How have you both changed since you left? And why is his advisor Joshua looking at you in that way?
This is the concept for a fic I have in progress right now, I will update as I come close to finishing it.
:)))
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nonranghaes · 1 year ago
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the last thing you expect to see is the younger child of the royal family at your door in the middle of the night.
seokmin stands before your, a bag hanging off his shoulders as relief fills his eyes. the moment the door is closed behind him, he kisses you, holding your face as he pulls back.
"you're okay," he breathes out.
you were forced out of your job within the palace a week ago. you don't know who discovered the relationship that the prince had started with you, but you know it's the reason for your sudden termination (and you remember the way seungcheol grit his teeth as he told you to leave: it's the only favor he could grant you when others would have wanted you dead to use as a lesson again being so involved with the prince of all people).
so what lie did they tell seokmin? seokmin, who has finally tracked you down to your family's home. seokmin, who's standing before you now, looking as though he can cry from relief. seokmin, who still holds you like he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you don't want to dwell on it too much.
"your highness--"
"i should have found you sooner..." but he shakes his head. no point in dwelling on that: he's found you now. seokmin pulls away from you, hand catching your own as he does. "let's go."
you furrow your brow. "go?"
and, oh, that smile rivals the sunshine in every way. he returns to you within seconds, holding your face as he whispers "run away with me."
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kim-jongin-s · 4 months ago
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svt fic recs (mostly nc-17; jeongcheol, minwon, multis + other)
JEONGCHEOL
"you don't understand (you should never know)". f1!au. oneshot, 2k. nc-17.
Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team's Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan are in the midst of battling it out for the Formula One World Drivers' Championship.
"the necessity of living". omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh. oneshot, 3k. nc-17.
"Jeonghan," Seungcheol says, strangled.
Jeonghan closes his eyes. Oh god, he thinks hysterically. Not this again.
"beginning song". soulmate!au. oneshot, 17k. pg-13. ♡
He’d thought, when he was younger, that his feelings for Jeonghan would eventually fade with time. But time seems to have done the opposite. Seungcheol isn't sure which version of reality might be worse: one where Jeonghan isn't his soulmate, or one where he is.
"ready to love". oneshot, 20k. nc-17.
“Felt nice, right?” Jeonghan murmurs benignly. Warning bells sound in the depths of Seungcheol’s consciousness. He’s attuned to Jeonghan’s brand of troublemaking; nothing good could possibly follow that tone of Jeonghan’s voice.
"eulalia (silver grass)". wolf!au. oneshot, 20k. nc-17. ♡
There’s a new scent in the pack’s hanok. It’s getting under Jeonghan’s skin.
"one step closer". royalty!au. 5 chapters, 132k. nc-17.
The West nations crown prince Yoon Jeonghan loses his position, land, and all of his pride in a war with the East nation's Emperor Choi Seungcheol. The next thing he knows, he's being referred to as betrothed of the Emperor.
MINWON
"miss me?". oneshot, 1k. nc-17.
Where they miss each other.
"here kitty kitty". hybrid!au: cat!ww, panther!mg. twoshot, 26k. nc-17. ♡
Panther hybrid Mingyu visits a housecat hybrid village and causes quite the stir.
"sweet accident". au, age gap, prime minister!mg. 12 chapters, 34k. nc-17. ♡
“Jeon… Wonwoo… age twenty…three…college… student… no… gag reflex. Status…very… available.”
MULTI
"rewind and repeat". s.coups/jeonghan/joshua. age gap, omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh, alpha!js. oneshot, 3k. nc-17. ♡
There is shame, in letting men nearly ten years younger than him tumble into his bed. Jeonghan almost feels guilty.
"synced threes". wonwoo/seokmin/mingyu. oneshot, 5.6k. nc-17. ♡
“This is what you two do on a night without me?”
"cognitive dissonance". jeonghan/svt. au, age gap, professor!jh. oneshot, 7k. nc-17 (pls check the tags!).
“Mr. Yoon…?” Jeonghan looks up again, his stare unfocused. His mouth is so pink Soonyoung can nearly imagine the heat of it against his own.
"it takes three to tango". s.coups/wonwoo/dino. au. oneshot, 15k. nc-17. ♡
There was no room in their love for a third person, of that, Wonwoo was entirely sure, but there was plenty of space for a third in their bed, and Chan would fit quite nicely.
"being a beta". s.coups/jeonghan/joshua. omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh, beta!js. twoshot, 24k. nc-17.
Hong Joshua enjoyed being a beta. Being a beta meant a quiet, simple life without being subjected to biology in the way alphas and omegas often were. Too bad he was deeply in love with an omega who craved an alpha mate.
OTHER
"an appropriate distance". seokgyu. omegaverse: omega!sm, omega!mg. oneshot, 6.6k. nc-17.
It's like this: Seokmin helps out with Mingyu’s heat, but not the other way around. Maybe Seokmin is the one holding Mingyu at arm’s length, but it's better this way.
"i'm sorry every song's about you". junhao. band!au. oneshot, 10k. nc-17.
The bass of their songs is always what sticks with Minghao the most. Junhui sticks with Minghao too.
"sip on your lips". sooncheol. au, age gap, single dad!sc. oneshot, 11k. nc-17.
Soonyoung finds it a little too hard to say no to the hot single dad across the hall.
"of the color gray". wonchan. fantasy!au: demon!ww, witch!dn. oneshot, 16k. nc-17.
Chan accidentally summons and binds himself to a lust demon. It turns out better than expected.
"son of nyx". verkwan. spy!au. 3 chapters, 31k. pg-13.
Hansol Vernon Chwe is eighteen when he decides to follow Seungkwan to the end of the earth, even if it means becoming a contracted agent with no guaranteed future.
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wooyoong · 2 years ago
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🌼 freya's recent svt reads (& recs)
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disclaimer : these are my RECENT reads, and i haven't added some of my old reads! also i have tried to add atleast one for each member to the list hehe (except jihoon he has two)
note : fic titles labelled with a * mark are series. minors please stay away, strictly. almost all fics here are 18+ !!
— also, i am @angelwoozi 😭 incase you wanted to check out my writing blog then.
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CHOI SEUNGCHEOL
* yours, but not yours by @gyukult (fake dating au, 18+)
when a nice guy gets too overbearing, you’re stuck with the option of having a fake boyfriend.
YOON JEONGHAN
Jeonghan's Guide to Insurance Fraud (And Falling In Love) by @starsstuddedsky (f2l, fake dating au)
your best friend offers a way for you to get your wisdom teeth removed without going into debt. the only catch? you can’t fall in love
HONG JISOO
Plush by @bitchlessdino (est relationship, 18+)
soft joshua cockwarming drabble, with love and yearning.
WEN JUNHUI
Love, Actually by @haet-sal (single dad, boss jun, kind of infidelity au, 18+)
You’re the wide-eyed, clueless-but-on-top secretary to Wen Junhui, and it all starts, with one new year’s kiss… well, new year’s fuck.
Mr. Wen likes you. It should have been obvious, whenever he seemed to forgive your inadequate work ethics and frequent unfailing mishaps, and how much he trusted you, no matter how many mistakes you made, how much he hated hearing about your life with your boyfriend… and what kind of boss goes shopping for their employee, privately, anyway?
KWON SOONYOUNG
i don't understand but i love you by @hvcmixtape (est relationship)
soonyoung has only been the kindest and most gentle husband. sometimes you feel like you're floating on the stars, and sometimes you feel like you've just jumped into the most romantic book.
JEON WONWOO
rich girl by @blushnote (rich girl x street punk wonwoo, 18+)
wonwoo likes to call you a rich girl, and you hate it because it’s true. in fact, you hate a lot of things: your friends, your parent’s attitude, the way your life is supposed to be perfect even though you’re miserable. not much makes you happy, except for a punk boy who you can’t even be with.
LEE JIHOON
You Make Me Breathe by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (hanahaki au)
Jihoon is utterly in love with you. Too bad you're into his friend Soonyoung, and he's too much of a coward to ever tell you how he feels. He's happy to take his feelings to the grave but soon finds that his body doesn't agree with his decision.
* As a Matter of Fact by @starsstuddedsky (co-workers to lovers, fake dating au)
when you're caught in a simple lie, the best solution? dig in your heels and stick to your guns until everything inevitably goes wrong and everyone gets hurt
LEE SEOKMIN
(Not) A Gentleman by @wonusite (est relationship, 18+)
Your boyfriend is the sweetest man alive—a perfect gentleman. However, you’re determined to show him that he doesn’t always have to be a gentleman.
KIM MINGYU
Good Dad, Better Daddy by @bitchlessdino (dilf au, bestfriend's dad mingyu, 18+)
you were hesitant when your friend said you should just stay at her house for the summer, especially knowing you can barely contain yourself with her hot dad around as well as the thought of not getting caught.
XU MINGHAO
at dawn by @sluttyminghao (domestic au, est relationship, 18+)
domestic sex with boyfriend minghao!
BOO SEUNGKWAN
pussy sport by @duhnova (fwb au, 18+)
leave it up to boo seungkwan to almost suffocate between your thighs, eat you out till you’re crying, and to figure out a new kink of his.
CHWE HANSOL
You Get Me So High by @cheolhub (f2l, 18+)
smoking with your best friend (who you totally don’t have a crush on) is super fun till all you can think about is him… well, doing him, to be more specific.
LEE CHAN
promise ring by @lovelyhan (royalty au, f2l, 18+)
no one would've guessed that the daughter of the town’s royal mage has a soft spot for the clumsiest fire elemental in the entire realm. but when the crown prince suddenly asks for your hand in marriage, you're forced to consider how you feel about a certain lee jung chan a lot more seriously.
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🌼 show love to all the authors, and don't misuse their content. all rights reserved by the respective authors!
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jundundun · 2 years ago
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SONDER
seventeen medieval!au
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sonder - the realisation that each passer-by has a life as vivid and complex as your own
TO BE UPLOADED :
SEUNGCHEOL - seuncheol is the head knight of the kingdom of nephele. what happens when seungcheol begins to fall for the princess and resident sweetheart, Y/N
JEONGHAN - you and jeonghan have been enemies since you were children, coming from different kingdoms, each being in line for the throne and knowing you are destined to carry out the same feud created by your ancestors. slowly the lines between love and hate begin to blur as you and jeonghan engage in a passionate, but forbidden, love ( slight romeo and juliet ! au )
JOSHUA - joshua has always stuck to every rule, he listened in all his etiquette classes, learnt how to rule a kingdom for the day he's in charge and never made anyone doubt his golden boy image. what happens when joshua decides to take one step out of the lines of perfect and engage in a fleeting romance with one of his mothers lady in waiting's, and how will he react once he finds out a marriage between his love and younger brother, dino, has been arranged
JUN - you and jun have been best friends ever since you were young, so what happens when the prince of astral begins to distance himself from you in favour of spending his time with his newly arranged fiancé
HOSHI - hoshi never really recovered after the great war, contracting an illness that confined him to bed rest. what happens when you are tasked to nurse hoshi through his, expected, dying days but can't help but we wooed by his persistent charms
WONWOO - what happens when your long time friend, crush and renowned scholar comes back from his year abroad at the kingdom of roseate and finds that things aren't exactly as how he left them.
WOOZI - tba
SEOKMIN - what happens when seokmin, a knight high up in the kingdom of roseates army finds himself unexplainably attracted to a common farm girl. ( slight rapunzel!au )
MINGYU - what happened when baker!mingyu falls in love with a princess with a giant sweet tooth and a stress eating problem
MINGHAO - you were arranged to marry, not by choice, but by force. he's cold and you're sunshine, it will never work.
SEUNGKWAN - seungkwan, famous throughout all the kingdoms for being the showman leading the renowned travelling circus. one princess from the kingdom of roseate seems to enjoy his shows more than anyone. what happens when their yearly meet ups turns into a passionate affair where he can no longer bare to leave her to travel through the kingdoms and she no longer can live with being a part-time lover.
VERNON - vernon, half-brother to prince hoshi of the kingdom of elysian soughts out the kingdoms witch in search of a cure for his dying brother. what happens when vernon gets more than what he wishes for when he finds comfort within the lone witches presence
DINO - dino, the brother of prince joshua of the kingdom of polaris, finally gets to prove to the kingdom that he is just as good as his brother when he gets betrothed to the most south out woman in court. however, what happens when he begins to wonder why he anticipates talking to his baker friend, sister of mingyu, rather than with his fiance.
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comment which one you’re looking most forward to / want me to start writing first! if you want to be added to the taglist just leave a comment asking <3
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sorryimananti-romantic · 1 year ago
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Horizon (Chapter 1)
series masterlist
faerieprince!san x oc
royal/fantasy au, soulmate au
chapter wc: ~20k
chapter warnings: fluff, angst, tragedy, violence warnings, mention of death/su!cide, past traumas, a lot of atz interactions
chapter synopsis: gaeul gains consciousness after coming back from the dead, finding her magic reversing. the eight faerie princes and the princess can feel her presence disrupting the flow of nature. as wooyoung comes across gaeul and offers his help along with jongho, san arrives and finds that his connection with gaeul is unique. they start connecting dots and realise this might be the doing of an old enemy. seonghwa and yena worry it might be a result of a time anomaly. elsewhere, hongjoong sets to investigate the source and the case of the missing faeries with mingi, yeosang and yunho.
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All Gaeul knew as dark spots started appearing in front of her eyes was the utter wrongness of this all.
All that she knew nothing of.
Nothing made sense anymore. The pain coursing through her body made her hurl her guts out into the potted plant in front of her and she almost fainted. She barely heard the passersby panic as they watched her skin turn from a dangerous pale to a flushed colour, to their surprise. Usually it was the other way.
Gaeul's head threatened to explode with the pain. She couldn't register anything at that moment. She didn't feel two wrinkly yet feminine hands grab her by the arms. She didn't feel someone carry her on their back. Neither did she recall how exactly she passed out.
She just knew that everything was wrong. She was supposed to be dead, yet she was breathing-
Everything was wrong, wrong, wrong-
—----------------
The glass of wine shattered dramatically on the floor, the red colour of the drink staining the white rug, to everyone's disappointment but more so surprise. San blinked a few times as if coming out of a trance.
"Are you okay?" Seokmin frowned, for once worried, unlike his usually cheerful and 'everything is fun and games unless someone is dying' manner. Though one could argue that he worried more than the rest. 
San nodded, resting his hand on the ash ends of his overgrown hair. He bent down to pick up the shards but one of the cleaners made it disappear with a wave of his hand. San nodded in silent thanks.
"You don't look like it, man, I'm just saying," San’s Right Hand glanced at Mingyu who nodded, the two of them ganging up to stare at San. "You've been more clumsy ever since we came back from Wooyoung’s kingdom four months ago."
“I think he’s been clumsier ever since Antares.”
Antares, in Hongjoong's Kingdom. The City of Lights, representative of the Prince of Light itself. The place where everything concluded. 
Everything, San summed it up in his head. The past two years had been the strangest of his life. He had somehow ended up meeting Yeosang's lost twin, Yena. The Princess of Space to the Prince of Spirit. San had also ended up helping the Lost Princess who wasn't aware of her identity at that time. During that process, he helped reclaim her powers and brought her back into everyone's life. Watched her battle her worst enemy who was once her best friend. Watched her fall in love with Seonghwa, the Prince of Dark. What a pair they made-
"San?" Mingyu called out and San hummed in response, aware that he hadn't really been listening to whatever he had said. "Where's your mind right now?"
"Away, away," San almost sang, playing it off with a smile sent at his guard. "Lost in the complexity of time and space."
"I get that," Seokmin agreed. "Sometimes when I'm working, this sudden realisation dawns upon me- ahh, that's what happened! You know? You suddenly recall something and realise how fate played us all for Princess Yena."
"Exactly," San laughed. "I mean, we did relive some piece of our life twice because she time travelled to save Seonghwa. I like to think back and wonder how it happened."
"You've been doing a lot of that lately. You don't look well, San," Mingyu was worried. "You've been way too clumsy on your feet. You'd think as the Prince of Earth, you'd be steadier."
"I've only grown weary," San got up, looking pointedly at the two of his closest court members. "I just need to rest. I'm absolutely fine. Don't get your knickers in a twist."
“There’s also the matter of the missing faeries- the number has risen from two to six in the last few months,” Seokmin sighed, showing San the reports. San scrolled through them, not really reading but thinking as Seokmin explained. “No traces detected. But a common occurrence is that all of them went missing in the thick of the forest or near the river. One witness reported some sort of a creature-”
“Could be a shapeshifter who’s doing the deed then,” San tossed the reports. “Send guards at the sites to investigate- and go along with them, the both of you. I need you two to report to me as soon as possible.”
Before the two of them could protest, San strolled outside the office, walking casually enough to his chamber. Once he was in the privacy of his room, he rushed to the sink and washed his face with cold water, watching his hands shake.
His heart had sank dangerously a few minutes ago- it wasn't the usual nervousness. It was a sign that something was wrong in this land- something so wrong unlike anything he had ever felt before. Maybe the ‘creature’ wasn’t even a faerie at all. Maybe that’s what it was.
Something was absolutely, utterly wrong. And it was calling out to him.
—----------------
"Madame! Wake up! Can you hear me?"
Gaeul clenched her eyes shut, wondering if she could cease to exist. But the voice only grew louder, forcing her to reality and she opened her eyes after a few not so gentle taps to her cheek.
"You need to drink this," the old woman forced the tip of the bowl to her mouth, making Gaeul swallow the bitter liquid that could only be medicine. She wanted to tell her that no medicine would work on her. How she knew that, she wasn't aware but she just knew, and she had only proven it in the previous few days as she threw up anything she ate, bleeding from her nose or eyes a few times a day, fainting horribly and whatnot. 
The healers believed she was cursed at this point. They had never seen a faerie who could be in this condition and not simply die. It's like the very thing that had forced her into this condition was also the thing keeping her alive.
"Where am I?" Gaeul asked, aware that she didn't have much time before she would start feeling sick again. She looked at the various shelves lined with jars of what looked like anything from food to medicine to potions. A few frames of what looked like her family sat on the table by the fireplace.
"It's my house but also a clinic," the woman passed her a wet towel to wipe her face.
"No, I mean… What city? What kingdom?"
"Oh dear," she tucked Gaeul's dark hair behind her ears. "You're in Nunki. Kingdom of Sagittarius? Prince Wooyoung's territory? Recall how you got here?"
Oh she recalled, alright. Somehow, she had found herself in the middle of a forest, no memory of how she had gotten there. Gaeul recalled bits and pieces- something that she wasn't sure was memory, past life, or worse. Or maybe it was both- she had no idea. All she recalled right now was what might have been her 'death'- killed by the man with hair the colour of blood. Why? She did not recall.
But if it really was a recent memory, how was she alive without a scar of that blow? How was she here, existing? Or was it just her imagination, a dream? Gaeul almost scratched her hair out and the old woman who had gone to get her some snacks frowned at her. 
"Maybe we should take you to the High Healers. I've never heard or seen something like this, I'll tell you the truth. I can't do much except give you rejuvenating potions."
"Uh, thank you, but I think I'll pass-" she coughed, her hand reflexively going to cover her mouth, feeling something wet- blood. 
Internal bleeding? Great, she thought. Just what she needed.
"Yeah… I think not," the woman rolled her sleeves determinedly, setting her herbs down. "Wash up if you can, I'm calling the carriage."
Gaeul decided she was too weak to protest so she got up with immense struggle and made it to the toilet, retching her guts out and crying before coming out.
"See? You look a mere second away from death. Let's go."
—--------------
“Ah, the air doesn’t smell right these days.”
“Maybe you should admit that your sense of smell has gotten weak,” Siyeon looked at her Prince. Wooyoung frowned at her.
“I’m the Prince of Air. There’s no way my sense of smell can get bad.”
“Maybe he just sniffed himself,” Changbin commented as he walked in front of the two, dumping their camping bags in front of them unceremoniously. “What do you think?”
Siyeon grinned and Wooyoung shook his head at his Right Hand and Guard. “You lot will never understand.”
After bickering back and forth for a few moments while the three set up their tent, Wooyoung went to wash his face at the stream just a few feet ahead while Changbin and Siyeon looked at each other, worried. 
“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?” Changbin asked.
“Last time he smelled something funny, it was Princess Yena. Remember how he complained about smelling something strange ever since she stepped on this continent?”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Changbin watched the Prince wipe his face and look at the mountains distantly. “I mean, everything’s been peaceful. It’s been more than two years, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Siyeon bit her lip nervously. “Let me casually ask him what exactly smells so strange to him later.”
“You two look awfully serious,” Wooyoung commented as he walked back, sitting in front of the wood that Siyeon had gathered. Siyeon sat cross-legged in front of him, lighting a fire with a click of her fingers. 
“We’re not always cackling like someone I know,” she grinned and Wooyoung rolled his eyes. 
“I have to admit that it’s nice to be out,” he leaned back, looking up at the cloudy sky. “I haven’t really had time to breathe ever since we came back from Antares, isn’t that so?”
“Yep,” Changbin said. “It was busier than we expected.”
“Well, the Lost Princess was found and now she rightfully sits on her throne. The people still have mixed feelings.”
“Can’t blame them, but if they knew of the hell that she, that you all have been through for peace to come… I think they will stop complaining.”
“Well, we can’t exactly tell people that the Princess went back in time and travelled different dimensions to defeat the monster- that darkling who could very well have destroyed our planet,” Wooyoung looked at Siyeon, having proven his point, inhaling deeply and wrinkling his nose. 
“You still smell something funny?” Changbin teased.
“What exactly can you smell?” Siyeon asked casually. 
“I don’t know, is what’s strange,” Wooyoung sighed, looking grim. “It’s not far. But it’s… nothing I’ve ever smelt before. With Yena, I could feel her magic and tell that it resembled Yeosang, but this? This just smells… wrong, somehow. Not of this world. I can’t really pinpoint the source either.”
Siyeon straightened- as the Prince’s Right Hand, jokes and teasing aside, she knew never to take anything he said unseriously. “Do you think it’s a darkling?”
“No, it’s not that,” Wooyoung looked sure, sniffing the air again for good measure. “If faeries, minus their magic scent, smell like honey, darklings have this inherent ‘burnt’ scent. Like burnt wood- not necessarily the bad kind. I can’t smell magic on whatever this thing is. I only smell… burnt honey. Does that make sense?”
Changbin couldn’t help but scoff at that. “A mix?”
“No, no, nevermind what I just said,” Wooyoung straightened. “This just smells… wrong. Like it’s not supposed to be here. Look at this,” Wooyoung slid his sleeve up, showing the raised hair on his arms. “I literally have goosebumps just after a whiff of it.”
“What if it’s your soulmate?” Siyeon wiggled her brows and Wooyoung narrowed his eyes at her.
“I don’t think my soulmate would smell wrong to me, Siyeon. Jokes aside, should we inspect?”
“Isn’t today your day off?” Changbin asked.
“Well,” Wooyoung got up, brushing his clothes, shaking his head so the dark tendrils of his hair messed up before he swept them back. “I don’t think us Princes can ever have a day off. And there’s also the matter of the missing faeries. There really can’t be peace even among the same race, huh?”
Siyeon scoffed. “Our fathers gave their lives to transport all faerie-kind to this planet, away from the cruelty of humans and darklings, and all it takes is two decades before we start acting like the very creatures we ran away from.”
“Let’s hope it is only a faerie, Siyeon,” Wooyoung looked grim. “Let’s hope.”
—----------------
Gaeul was pretty sure that she had passed out for most of the carriage ride before the woman stopped the carriage, waking her up. 
“We’ve travelled for six hours now. I stopped two hours ago too but you were out cold. Now is the time to wash up and eat something. We’re stopping at an inn, come on now.”
Gaeul sat up straight, waiting for her head to stop spinning. “Are we staying here for the night?”
“That’s right,” she said, extending a hand and Gaeul took it as she jumped down, grateful the woman had not put her in a dress- just loose trousers and a shirt. “Come on, let’s get you inside and see if you can eat.”
She ordered soup and bread for Gaeul and she played with the bread, not feeling very hungry though her stomach grumbled. “Why are you helping me?”
“Why not?” She said, urging Gaeul to eat. “I’m not going to ask you to return the favour, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m just doing my duty. I’m going to drop you off at the High Healers and then you can forget about me, if that’s what you wish.”
“No, no, I… I didn’t mean it like that. Thank you for helping me,” Gaeul folded her arms, hugging herself. “It’s just… I wish I hadn’t been a burden to you.”
“Well, thanks to you, I get to meet my old friends in the palace,” the woman smiled and Gaeul sighed internally.
The Palace. She had forgotten the High Healers resided in the same space as the Prince. She briefly wondered if she would get to see Prince Wooyoung from afar. 
“I can’t eat more,” Gaeul apologised and the woman told her not to force herself. She led her to a room, Gaeul taking the mattress and sitting down in front of the window, staring wistfully at the two suns that lit the sky, the purple one brighter than the orange, casting a dark but purple glow across the night sky with a slight orange tint. 
Now that her head was clearer, she could recall something that felt like her own life, yet she watched it through a third eye. Fragments of herself playing on the beach, using her magic to grow flowers out of thin air or breathe life into dying animals- was she a healer? She couldn’t exactly recall. Gaeul raised her hands in the air, willing some sort of magic to come to her but she felt worse than empty. There was this pit in her heart that she was sure had never been there before. And it felt wrong.
Gaeul tried harder but it only made blood trickle down her nose and before she could wipe it, she fainted into the endless bliss. 
—-----------------
Yena woke up covered in sweat and out of breath again.
She was glad Seonghwa was beside her. He was sleeping peacefully and Yena smiled at that, sliding out of the covers careful not to wake him up as she tiptoed to the bathroom, wanting to take off everything and just sit in some cold water. 
She let the cold water soak her body, sliding down the tub until the tip of her chin touched the surface. She shut her eyes and tried to recall if she had seen a nightmare, but as the several times before, she knew she had seen no dream or nightmare. She had simply woken up, feeling that something wasn’t right. 
This feeling wasn’t new to Yena at all. Her magic was very sensitive and she could sense something wrong even when her magic was blocked and she wasn’t aware of her identity. But this feeling was new, and it unsettled her in ways that she couldn’t explain. Like an impending doom. 
She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Seonghwa’s hand on her hand, sighing in relief when she opened her eyes and saw it was only her husband. Seonghwa frowned but smiled. “What’s wrong, love? You didn’t even sense me coming.”
“I was just thinking,” Yena squeezed Seonghwa’s hand. 
“That same feeling again? Woke you up?”
“Yeah,” she slid further down in the tub, her blonde hair floating around her. “Something isn’t right in this… world right now, Seonghwa. I don’t know how big or small it is, if it’s here on this planet or in one of my dimensions or on another planet, but… something that is not supposed to exist is present- I can feel it. Tell me you feel it too.”
Seonghwa hesitated but finally nodded- Yena, of all people, should know. “I don’t know how exactly but I just know that it’s dark in nature- not necessarily a darkling,” Seonghwa added when he felt Yena tense. “It’s not that. It’s… something or someone, and if it’s a person, it’s not a darkling. I can’t say if it’s a faerie either. I just know that it is out of place. It shouldn’t be here.”
“So you can feel the darkness in magic too, Prince of Dark?”
“That’s the thing which is confusing me,” Seonghwa sighed. I can’t really feel any sort of magic. Not yet. Maybe it’s not magical, whatever this is.”
“Seonghwa,” Yena shut her eyes. She didn’t need to say more- Seonghwa could hear it anyway since he was touching her. Yena pushed her thoughts in his mind-
I’m so tired. Whatever this is… it’s wearing me out. I’m not ready for whatever it is. But… I know that I can’t ignore it either.
Seonghwa squeezed her hand, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on her lips. “You’re not alone this time. All of us are with you. Let me send a message to the others, see if they’ve felt something amiss too. Let’s rest for now, eh?”
Yena nodded, splashing water on her face that merged with the tears that rolled down her eyes before Seonghwa could see it.
—--------------------
Gaeul couldn’t breathe.
She woke up in the middle of the night, out of breath. The calm and chill breeze flowing through the open window did nothing to calm her down. She had to go outside, right now. She almost shook the woman awake but decided against it, stumbling down the stairs and making her way out and gasping for air as if she was being suffocated.
This wasn’t anything new. Many times her healer had caught her outside, unconscious, mostly a bloody mess. She would try to wake her up for a few moments before giving up and dragging her back. But this time…
Gaeul didn’t feel sick. For the first time in whatever length of time had passed, Gaeul suddenly could see and feel. Her head had never been clearer. 
As if in a trance, Gaeul looked at her hands, sinking to the ground and picking up a wilting daisy. Gaeul tried recalling how her magic worked- it was second nature to her, from what she had recalled so far.
Gaeul shut her eyes, trying to reach her heart and will her magic to unleash, but the pit, that goddamned endless pit in her heart called to her and-
Gaeul was down memory lane. The redhead who had killed her mercilessly- why? What crime had she committed? Was it a past life? If so, why did she not remember anything-
“Are you okay?” She heard the familiar voice of the healer and it pulled her out of her trance. Gaeul turned her neck back to look at the woman who approached her cautiously.
“I just needed some air,” Gaeul got up, exhaling. “Did I wake you up?”
“No, I just felt strange. Woke up to see you weren’t there with me so I decided to check. Are you sure you feel okay?”
“Yeah, I feel better, I was just-” Gaeul looked at the flower in her palm, her eyes widening with horror as she saw it was no longer wilted but dead.
“I was just looking at this… flower,” Gaeul managed to say out loud. The woman raised a brow, inspecting the flower in her palm. 
“This looks… why is this grey?” 
“That’s what I’m saying,” Gaeul locked eyes with her. “It’s beyond dead.”
—---------------
Jongho felt it then. The strange feeling that had been looming around him for a few months now… he couldn’t deny it anymore or shrug it off as some sort of a nervous spell. It was real and existing. 
And it was unnatural in every sense.
Jongho wiped sweat off his forehead and walked to the garden right outside his room. He had to check something and he hoped he would get answers. He sat down on the grass, closing his eyes and sending himself in a meditative state as his powers reached out and connected with everything that was natural around him.
He had no idea how long he stayed like that, but he could feel his skin warm up- the sun was probably out now which meant that he had been here for hours now. His magic reached out and further, linking with everything until he finally found the one thing that it didn’t connect with-
It made Jongho queasy in a matter of seconds and he tried wrapping his magic around it- it was a person, alright. He could hear the heartbeat. But the magic that it contained, it was no longer natural. And the very existence of this person…
His magic repelled and came back with a jolt, making Jongho gasp and clutch his throat as he normalised his breathing.
This wasn’t right. Something had gone incredibly wrong, and he needed to see the others right now. But first… he would go to Wooyoung and get his help in pinpointing who exactly this was.
Jongho got up, walking to his room, hearing the faint knocks on his door before it opened to reveal his Right Hand, Jooheon, who waved cheerfully but the smile fell off his face. “Have you been up all night? Because you look like a mess. Should I call the healers?”
“No, it’s okay,” Jongho almost tripped on his feet, laughing a bit. “Just used my magic all night, no big deal-”
Jooheon watched Jongho’s eyes roll back before he fell unceremoniously on, thankfully, the couch, though the position looked painful. Jooheon tsk-ed, shaking his head at how Jongho had tried shrugging it off. “Hyungwon! The Prince has fainted!”
Hyungwon peeked inside, narrowing his eyes at Jooheon who told him that Jongho had been awake all night. “Are you sure he didn’t just fall back to sleep after spending all his magic?”
He hadn’t.
—----------------
Yunho was the first one who received Seonghwa’s message. He read it over and over again, then tossed the paper into the nearest water body, dissolving it and making it one with the water.
If you have seen or felt something strange or wrong, unfamiliar or unnatural, whatever it was, report now.
Yunho couldn’t help but throw his head in his hands as he wondered how whatever he had felt months ago was related to this. He recalled the night from four months ago when he had started feeling a strange pit in his stomach, like a gut feeling that something was about to happen.
He had gone to the shore for a week straight, trying to feel it out, but it was just so unfamiliar. He had no idea what it was. Nobody around him felt it, so he wondered if it was just inside his head. He wondered if he needed to meet up with his friends and had been lonely recently.
He met up with Mingi. He stayed in his kingdom for two days. He didn’t feel anything there, but as he travelled back, the feeling grew stronger and stronger. He tried to find the source, swam endlessly in the ocean but to no avail. 
And then one day, as quick as it had appeared, it disappeared completely. Yunho wondered then- had someone practised dark magic? 
Somehow, the feeling reminded him very much of the one he’d got when Yena had been dumped in the middle of the ocean after jumping back in time and Yunho, unaware of her existence, had known a part of him was in danger and had gone to save her without knowing who he was saving.
Now he felt that he was in danger. Everyone was. It was like the same feeling yet its meaning was the opposite.
It felt wrong.
And last night, he had felt it briefly again. He had wondered if he was flipping but now he knew that he was still sane, alright. 
Yunho sighed, going to his room and picking up a pen, beginning to write on the note.
Seonghwa and Yena.
Something is not right. I can’t explain it here, but I have a feeling that it’s connected to all of us. We have done something wrong.
—----------------
Gaeul couldn’t believe what she just did. 
After summoning up her magic for the first time in as long as she could remember, she breathed death into a flower instead of life. She couldn’t believe her eyes. 
And it didn’t stop at that. When Gaeul followed the old woman inside and she touched her forehead to heal her, the woman jolted back as if she had been hit by an electric current. 
“What have you done?” She simply asked before she fell unconscious. Gaeul almost thought she had killed her too, but when her panic wore off she saw the healer’s chest still rising up and down, though slow enough to call for some medical attention. However, Gaeul was in no state to try that. She wasn’t even sure if she was a danger by simply being near. So Gaeul did what she had been doing for a while now- she ran.
She couldn’t risk being discovered anymore. She was a danger to all the living beings around her- her magic was getting out of control and as she dived deeper into the forest, she realised the trees around her that were unfortunate to have touched her were all wilting and dying as well.
She was death itself.
Gaeul had no idea how long she ran but she stopped when she heard the faint footsteps of men and a horse. Gaeul hid behind a tree, careful not to touch it. She peeked to see the two figures clad in black, muttering something. 
Gaeul decided it was time to calm herself before she did any more damage. She shut her eyes and inhaled, breathing deeply in.
Everything would be okay. She would be okay. She would go to the High Healers herself. She would figure this out. There was no reason to give up yet-
She heard- no, felt something whip through the forest behind her-
“What have we got here?”
Gaeul’s eyes flew open- she hadn’t even heard the men come in front of her. The other man scanned her rather slowly, up and down. She gulped. 
“What’s this pretty little thing doing in the middle of the forest at this hour?”
This wasn’t good. Her calm heart started beating rapidly again and she could feel the magic stirring in her stomach- perhaps their horse felt it too, because it panicked as soon as their eyes met. One of the men tried to hold its reins but the horse ran in the opposite direction, making the man follow him. The other who simply watched shook his head. 
“He always gets unlucky at times like this,” he scoffed, but it changed into a smirk that made Gaeul draw back until her back touched the tree. “Perhaps, I can offer you some help-”
She felt something whoosh past where the horse and man had just been running off to. The man in front of her turned too, frowning but dismissing it as nothing. Gaeul decided to use the distraction to her favour- heavens knew what prowled in the forest at this hour.
“I’m- I’m good,” Gaeul managed to say, “I’ll be on my way.”
Gaeul started turning away, wanting to run, but the man grabbed her arm and Gaeul tried snatching it with a glare, but he pulled her forward. 
“Now, now,” he whispered, “Be a good girl for me, will you?”
Something went off inside Gaeul. She nodded and grabbed his other hand, and shut her eyes, sending her magic through, and it wasn’t until she heard the man gasp for breath that she opened her eyes to see that he had shrivelled, just like the flower.
That was not what Gaeul had intended to do. She dropped her hands but the remains of her magic inside the man made sure that every last ounce of life was sucked out from him. Gaeul’s eyes blurred and she started running away, unable to breathe or run properly, but she couldn’t stop.
She had just killed a man.
She had not just killed. She had done something else. 
She slowed down and spotted a set of yellow glowing eyes growing closer with every second, eyes that had to be larger than her hands. The sinister feeling of the creature and the magic inside her was so overwhelming that she welcomed unconsciousness.
—-------------------
Yeosang felt it the minute that it happened. 
Someone had died a horribly gruesome death- nothing like he had felt before.
As the Prince of Spirit, he didn’t feel everyone’s death. That would be too much for him. But sometimes, the spirits who were still in pain after their death… he felt that. He didn’t share their pain but he could feel that they were hurt. 
Yeosang was still lying on his bed, having woken up from his sleep the moment he felt it. He decided to check and see if he could get answers. Yeosang shut his eyes and focused on the deepest part of his mind, which was when his own spirit dissociated from his body and his soul shifted to the dimension that was a gateway for souls itself.
The spirit wasn’t far- not for Yeosang, who could jump directly to the spirit he wanted to meet. Yeosang tried doing that, but to his surprise, it didn’t work. His heart sank- something was wrong- not with him, but with the entire situation.
Yeosang roamed around in that dimension- it was all bleak and cloudy with no clues to what direction you were travelling in. He thought for a few moments and decided he would take another way- jump to the spirit nearest to his target.
But as soon as he did that, Yeosang fell on his knees. He could feel the spirit’s pain now. Yeosang struggled to breathe, getting up on his feet with immense effort and almost crawling towards the source.
If Yeosang was in his body then, he would have thrown up after seeing the grey ‘corpse’ that he saw. There was absolutely no way- the spirits that walked this dimension carried no scars of their life. But somehow… 
“What happened?” Yeosang asked the walking corpse- its eyes were sunken and the only thing that gave indication of life. The skin was grey, hair burnt, all bones and skin.
The poor spirit tried speaking but it looked like it no longer held that ability. Yeosang sighed, walking to the spirit and touching it- he felt the unnaturalness of whatever had hurt it. 
“I can rid you of your pain, if you don’t wish to walk in this dimension eternally like this. It is time to make a decision- do you want to stay because of some unfinished business, move on to a place I cannot guarantee might be heaven or hell, or cease to exist?”
The spirit held up three fingers. Yeosang nodded, touching its forehead and watched it disappear- not into smoke like spirits usually did, but into ashes.
Yeosang prayed no one else would meet a fate like him.
—-------------------
Mingi couldn’t sleep- not after feeling a soul burn twice.
Ever since Mingi had saved Yena from being their darkling enemy’s hostage and Yena had accidentally taken Mingi to another timeless dimension, Mingi could feel magic deeper than ever. He always thought being the Prince of Fire meant fire on the surface, the element of fire, but it was more than that, he learned after. 
The first time he experienced a soul burning was when Yeosang had done the ‘soul extermination’, as Mingi dubbed it. Mingi had woken up with something like hot flashes, and no amount of cold showers could make him feel better. He talked to Yeosang, who was living nearest to him as they shared a continent. Yeosang then explained that some spirits in one of his dimensions could turn evil or become a threat if they stayed for too long and refused to move on. In cases like these, Yeosang would ‘kill’ the spirit. Yeosang was surprised to learn that it felt like burning- but how Mingi could feel it, he had no idea.
“Must be because of Yena and staying in that dimension for too long,” Yeosang had told him. “When you are somewhere you are not supposed to be, you live with the consequences. Looks like you can feel the fire inside of a soul now, Mingi.”
He was right. Mingi could feel when a living soul was burning with too much magic, something the possessor’s body couldn’t handle. Mingi could also feel whenever Yeosang burnt a spirit.
But he had never felt a soul burn twice- and both of those felt wrong in a way. Unnatural. Yeosang burning a spirit never felt wrong.
Mingi got up and decided to write a fire message to Yeosang. 
Not sure if this was normal, but a soul burned. Twice. It felt wrong. Did you mess up or something? Because I’m getting a very strange feeling.
Mingi tossed the paper into the air and it caught flames, burning and disappearing. He waited for a reply, and when he got it, his heart sank to his feet.
You’re right. It is wrong and unnatural. This wasn’t me. Something’s walking around burning souls from the inside out. Not like you- not with fire. It’s like someone breathed death into the soul. I’m sending a message to Seonghwa- maybe he or Yena knows something. You should talk to Hongjoong- he might have something related to this in his big old library.
Mingi decided to send a fire message to Hongjoong in the morning- he wasn’t sure if he was awake and had felt whatever had happened.
—-----------------
Hongjoong felt everything that happened.
It was the one power he wished he didn’t possess. He was the Prince of Light. That didn’t mean that he had to know if everything was right wherever light touched a life.
But it did. And it kept him awake more nights than he had slept peacefully in his life.
The boys- the Princes always made fun of how Hongjoong could pass out anywhere. How Hongjoong always looked like he was tired and didn’t get enough sleep. He never told them they were right- he never got enough sleep. Not since Yena went missing when she was only two. Hongjoong was three then, and he hadn’t known then but when Yena was found and everything fell back in place, he finally started getting better sleep. He searched his library for old records and realised that put simply, the reason he never got to get enough sleep in the first two decades of his life was… Yena.
When he told Yena, she couldn’t stop laughing. And then Hongjoong couldn’t stop laughing because of how mad all of this was. 
But after everything fell back in place, he slept well for a few months. He would only feel strange when someone’s magic had problems or someone tried a silly trick. Nothing that he couldn’t ignore now, given years of practice.
A few months later, he felt the strangest he had ever felt in his entire life- perhaps even more than when the darkling used his magic openly to kill. He immediately checked with Seonghwa and Yena to see if everything was fine, but they weren’t the reason this time. And they had felt it too.
Hongjoong told them not to worry about it, that sometimes, in one of the many dimensions that layered this planet, something goes wrong. It’s natural.
But this feeling was anything but natural. 
So he decided to investigate on his own. He couldn’t pinpoint a source and there was no use travelling when he had a kingdom to run. He decided to check the records then.
But it had been months and he had found nothing, and the feeling only grew until tonight, when he felt that something had shifted in the air, in magic itself. Something was not where and how it was supposed to be.
He was pretty sure he was going to get a message from one of the Princes soon. There was no way that he was the only one feeling this.
—-----------------------
Gaeul woke up not because of the loud chirps of the birds but because every part of her body was aching immensely. She sat up with much struggle, lost for a few blissful moments as she looked around her before the events of last night made her put her head in her hands and sigh.
She had just killed a man. And… there was something that approached her- a monster that might have just spared her life.
Gaeul looked around her- the grass was still green, the flowers and plants still alive. Cautiously, she plucked a wild flower from the ground and held it for a few moments.
Nothing happened.
Good, she thought. I hope I never get that magic back.
Her mouth felt parched and her stomach felt tight. She shut her eyes, listening to the sounds of nature- her fae senses still worked perfectly for some reason. She could hear some sort of water body nearby so she decided to follow the sound. 
She was on her own now with no idea of which direction she had gone. She could be straying away from the Palace, for all she knew. But then… she wondered if she wanted to endanger the innocent healers there as well. 
Plus… the Prince lived there. She was pretty sure he was strong enough to kill her with just a wave of his hand, or maybe even a mere thought. She gulped, not sure if she wanted him to do exactly that or if she wanted to run away from it.
Gaeul walked for a few hours without stopping, without thinking about her magic in case it rose back from the pit in her heart. When the sound of water became louder, she practically ran in joy, stopping at the edge of River Al-Ard, looking far into the distance at the mountains of what could only be Rukbat- the capital. The place where the Prince resided.
Gaeul’s destination.
As she washed her hands and face and sat down, sinking her feet in the water, she wondered if she was worth saving. She could not figure out if the memories she had were actually her own or hallucinations at this point. But what she was sure of was that no one cared for her. She was lost. 
And she was a danger to everyone. To herself too.
Gaeul looked up at the white fluffy clouds, smiling for the first time since she could recall. Time had only made her more miserable. Maybe she should put an end to all of it.
After all, this was a nice spot to die. 
Gaeul started sinking herself down and down into the river, until the water came to her chin. She looked up for the last time, smiling as tears ran down, before she fully submerged herself into the water-
“Not so easily, you won’t!”
Gaeul panicked, thinking someone must have tracked her down after finding the poor man she had killed. She risked a one second eye contact with whoever had called her, finding not one but three people. She instantly dived deeper in the river.
“I got this,” Changbin started towards the river but Wooyoung grabbed his arm, shaking his head.
“She’s going to kill you if she touches you, I can feel it,” Wooyoung looked as grim as he sounded. “She’s not going to drown to her death.”
“So we stand here and do nothing?” Siyeon asked.
“Just don’t get any closer than this and let me handle it,” Wooyoung warned, hands raised. He made sure the girl trying to drown wouldn’t be able to lose her breath. That was all he could do for now.
Gaeul, meanwhile, wasn’t surprised, but for a different reason. She recalled what her healer had once told her- that whatever was killing her was also keeping her alive. Gaeul thought it was her magic keeping her alive.
She wasn’t entirely wrong.
She felt the magic rolling uncontrollably in her stomach and she dreaded whatever was going to happen. 
This was a bad idea.
Gaeul knew her magic was going to explode with a burst, killing everything near it. So she dived up, trying to be faster than her magic, and she only had time to scream ‘RUN!’ before she folded in herself and her magic burst with a wave.
Wooyoung immediately drew a shield around the three of them but that wasn’t enough to hold him steady. He was thrown with the others a good few feet away, and when it was over and they got to their feet, they gasped collectively.
Everything within a few miles radius had… died. The trees were grey- Wooyoung had never seen anything like it. Everything looked like it was going to turn into ash with one touch. Remains of what could be fishes and other sea creatures unfortunate enough to have been victims of that magic floated at the surface of the sea. The birds fell as ashes floated timelessly in the air and Wooyoung touched a few, frowning because it resembled snow. 
Gaeul looked around helplessly, tears of relief rolling down her cheeks when she saw the three were alive, mixed with tears of regret- she did not want to live anymore. Not after this.
“You’re lucky I’m the Prince of Air,” Wooyoung walked carefully towards her. “Because it looks like you need help.”
Gaeul gulped as she heard that- Prince Wooyoung had somehow found her. Was she some sort of a threat that he needed to exterminate-
“I’m not going to hurt you,” his voice was calming.
“I’ll hurt you,” Gaeul’s voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t want to, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me, my magic isn’t right- I-”
“Slow down, slow down,” Wooyoung nodded. “First, get out of the river. Come on, take my hand.”
“You’ll die if I take your hand.”
“I won’t,” the Prince passed Gaeul a warm smile. “I can feel that your magic is spent. You’re as normal as me right now.”
Gaeul looked at him sceptically- he was the Prince. He wasn’t normal anyway. Hesitating, she swam forward and took his hand, letting him drag her out of the river. She met eyes with the others who looked like they were ready to kill her this instant.
“Relax, they’re only my guard and my Right Hand,” Wooyoung passed the two a look and they shrugged, looking helplessly at each other. “Let me dry you.”
With a wave of his hand, all the water had dried from her skin and clothes. Gaeul nervously looked down and then around her- she really had sucked the life out of everything-
Is that why she was getting better? Healthier? No, no-
“Let’s get out of here first, shall we? We just crossed the river to come here by that boat-” Wooyoung pointed at his left where at a distance the boat was tied. “Looks like we need to get back anyway. We can talk while we row.”
Once settled in the boat, Changbin and Siyeon rowing, Wooyoung sat in front of Gaeul, scanning her- she was a faerie alright. Not an ounce of darkling blood in her. But her magic wasn’t right.
“I could sense you, perhaps because you were near me. Your magic- you weren’t born with this, were you?”
“I used to breathe life into things,” Gaeul smiled helplessly. “Looks like I suck the life out now.”
“Interesting,” Wooyoung stuck his tongue in his cheek while he scanned Gaeul again. Siyeon kicked his back lightly, muttering not to freak the girl out. Wooyoung shook his head. “So, how did you get here?”
“I don’t know, actually. I’m really confused about why and how I’m here. I think I lost my memories or something too. All I remember is that a few months ago, one day, I found myself at the beach- somewhere near Ascella. I literally just fell on the sand from nowhere- and I’ve been really sick since then. I keep coughing blood and fainting, but I’m clearly not dying. I went from being bones and skin to this-” she looked down at herself. Better than skin and bones. 
“Do you remember who you are?”
“That’s the thing,” Gaeul sighed. “I don’t know if what I remember is a memory or a past life or something I made up.”
“I see, the healers might be able to help with that,” Wooyoung nodded. “Tell me about your magic now.”
“I didn’t know about this until last night. All my magic has done so far is make me sick. I was actually travelling to the Palace with a healer- she thought that the High Healers could help me. Last night, I held a wilting flower and tried making it alive like I used to- I think I used to,” Gaeul shook her head. “Anyways, the flower turned grey like now. And then… I think I hurt my healer too. She fainted but thankfully she was alive. But then…”
“You killed someone a few hours ago, didn’t you?”
Siyeon rolled her eyes at how blunt Wooyoung was. The girl clearly wasn’t handling all this well. She wiped her forehead and eyes and then looked down.
“I never meant to. I felt threatened, and it just happened- it wasn’t in my control. That’s why I panicked. I’ve only ever healed things- I’ve never hurt them. And now-”
Gaeul couldn’t hold back her silent sobs anymore and she hid her face in her hands. Wooyoung looked back at Siyeon and Changbin who were clapping sarcastically. 
“Good job,” Siyeon muttered, shaking her head.
“What?” Wooyoung sighed. “I need to get the facts straight before I risk my healer’s lives, don’t you think?”
“He’s right,” Gaeul wiped her face, her eyes steadfast now. “I don’t wish to put anyone else at risk. If you think it’s wise to get rid of me, then do so. I have nothing holding me back.”
Wooyoung sighed, looking at her dark eyes- they had a tinge of grey, looking perhaps as hopeless as she felt. Wooyoung wasn’t sure if she was as innocent as she claimed she was. “You are a threat, yes, but that doesn’t mean you get to die so easily. Every life is precious and meaningful and so is yours. We need to look into whatever’s up with you, because you know it feels unnatural, your magic, right? It feels-”
“Wrong, I know,” Gaeul looked at him to his surprise. “Everything inside me is screaming that this is wrong, whatever happened to me. I’m not where I’m supposed to be. Nothing’s right. I think… you’ll need to look into my past if you want to see the origin of this.”
“Look into your past, huh?” Wooyoung looked at Changbin. “Now which one of us could do that again?”
—-------------------
To say that San was in a state of frenzy was a severe understatement. 
In the past few days, he had been beyond restless. He was not focusing on his work to the point that his Right Hand, Seokmin complained that San should just step down since Seokmin was the one doing all the work anyway. However, he was worried too- he had never seen his Prince like this. 
San tried explaining it to him, to himself, but it wasn’t that simple. He wasn’t sure if he had felt whatever this thing was before he had visited Rukbat four months ago but he was sure that thing was around there, and him going to Rukbat had somehow made both him and that thing restless. How the two were connected, he had no idea.
But after the amount of magic and wrongness he felt in the matter of the last 24 hours, he knew he needed to get back to Rukbat. And he couldn’t let anyone know. 
Truth be told, he himself wasn’t sure what he was about to do. He had no idea who or what he was looking for. Something in his mind, in his heart, screamed at him to go, go, go. Go and find whatever was wrong and make it right. He simply had to trust his gut at this point, trust the thing tugging at him. 
So San sat down still for the first time in a while as he etched out a plan in his head. He would leave at night when everyone thought he was asleep, take the secret tunnel out (he wasn’t even sure if he could call that tunnel ‘secret’ anymore since not only his Right Hand and Guard but one of his healers and Princess Yena knew of it too) and then…
Take a carriage? Walk? It would take far too long.
He needed Yena to portal him. That was the quickest and safest route. But he wasn’t sure Yena would understand or agree. Especially after the message he had gotten from them. And after all that had happened with Yena… he couldn’t ask that of her.
He needed to do this himself.
He waited rather patiently for the night to approach and everyone to sleep, which was when he packed a bag and took the tunnel out, went to the nearest stable and took a horse and started riding towards Rukbat.
He prayed he would get there before things went more wrong than they already were. 
—-------------------
Jongho could feel each and every moment of the magical blast that had killed so much. It didn’t hurt him, and he was glad it didn’t because feeling its existence alone made his heart ache. 
He wasn’t sure why exactly he had fainted earlier in the morning too. He was the Prince of Nature- doing magic while meditating and stretching his vision was like second nature to him. But this time, something fought back. And that was as dangerous as it could get not only for him, but all the Princes. Perhaps, he thought, Princess Yena could fight back against something like this. She was the most experienced in that department. 
When he gained consciousness after fainting, he learned that he had been out for about six hours. That was a long period of time and even had his healer worried because the most he had been out was two hours, and that was when he had spent all his energy doing similar magic.  
Jongho tried to explain to Jooheon why he needed to get to Wooyoung as soon as possible. Jooheon was suspicious about all of this, and he kept insisting it was a trap.
“Look, all I’m saying is that if you felt it, Prince Wooyoung must have felt it as well. He’ll take care of it- no scratch that. You both should sit this one out. This feels like a trap- especially with the recent problem that we have going on.”
“Did you feel it?” Jongho asked and Jooheon shook his head no. “That’s what I’m saying. This is like a cry for help, not a trap. As for the missing faeries… I didn’t really feel anything there.”
“That’s like, the first trick in the book of traps,” Hyungwon, who was reading a book, peeked up. “Are you seriously risking yourself for whatever this… person is?”
“In risking myself, I save a lot of lives that could possibly be lost if we don’t get this under control,” Jongho was groaning with frustration now. “If you’re not coming along, I’m going by myself-”
“Hey, hey, now that’s not what we meant,” Jooheon laughed helplessly, looking at Hyungwon who only shrugged. “I’ll take care of things here. Take Changkyun at least. And Hyungwon too.”
“You ready?” Jongho asked Hyungwon and he rolled his eyes.
“This feels an awful lot like the time we went along with Princess Yena,” he said and Jongho laughed, agreeing. Changkyun arrived, all dressed up for-
“We’re not going into battle, dammit,” Jongho laughed but Changkyun wasn’t having any of it. He only shrugged and Jongho nodded, urging Hyungwon to follow him out. They were going to Rukbat and it wasn’t very far from here- a long ride and a river was what separated them. 
“Do you think we should let the others know too?” Jongho wondered out loud when they settled into the carriage, the horses made specially for quick transport by magic speeding twice as fast as a normal horse. “I mean, Seonghwa did order us to report anything strange.”
“I know what you’re thinking,” Hyungwon scoffed. “You want to find the person first before you give them anything.”
“Yeah, you got me,” Jongho shifted in his seat, running a hand through his red hair. “It’s just that I don’t want them to worry about something that we’re not sure about. I’m pretty sure Wooyoung ignored their message too, so there’s that as well.”
“If only you Princes could communicate better,” Hyungwon almost laughed. “Would have saved you a lot of trouble, wouldn't it?”
Hyungwon was both right and wrong. The Princes and the Princess were all anxious about whatever was ‘wrong’ now, trying to either pinpoint an origin or search for it. One could argue that providing them with more information would worry them more, especially if it was a threat that could be easily exterminated. However, no one knew what exactly that threat was- not even Wooyoung who was present with that said threat.
—-----------------
“Well,” Wooyoung sighed, a grimace on his face as he poked one of his healers in the arm, lying unconscious on the floor. “This didn’t go as planned.”
Gaeul had her head in her hands. “I didn’t mean to- I was asleep and he came to change my bandages or something. I got scared.”
Gaeul and Wooyoung had arrived at his castle a while ago and Wooyoung had let her admire the glass structure that was the castle before escorting her to the basement where she would be staying, saying something about how he needed to get her in there before her magic replenished. It seemed like she wasn’t faring well though.
“Progress though,” Wooyoung passed a smile though Gaeul could swear he was mocking her. “At least he’s not dead.”
“He would have been if not for Jiu there,” Gaeul pointed at the woman sitting bored at the other end of the room. 
“That’s right,” Jiu looked serious. “I was waiting for her to admit that before I interrupted.”
Wooyoung rolled his eyes, “I guess it was a good idea to have you here after all.”
“Definitely,” Jiu looked at Gaeul and Gaeul hated that there was pity in her eyes, though she could not blame her. She herself was to blame after all. “Can we change shifts now? I need to catch up on my sleep.”
“Go on then,” Wooyoung dismissed her and she gladly left. Wooyoung turned his attention to Gaeul. “How are we feeling today?”
“The same?” It came out more as a question. “I don’t feel anything much here- the basement is… not as suffocating as it first sounded. In fact, I’m more relaxed now.”
“And that was the purpose of keeping you here,” Wooyoung took a seat, running a hand through his dark hair, the faint light in the room making the golden streaks in his hair shine. “Anyways, Jongho is arriving soon. I thought I’d let you know.”
“Prince Jongho?”
“The one and only,” Wooyoung grinned. Gaeul visibly gulped- being in the presence of one of them was intimidating enough. “He’s the Prince of Nature. If anyone can help you figure your magic out, it’s him, since you presumably had similar magic as him.”
“Presumably… So Yoohyeon still didn’t get past my memories?” Gaeul asked, referring to the healer who had first attended to her. 
“Surprisingly, no,” Wooyoung sighed as he nodded. “Yoohyeon is an expert at healing amnesia and similar disorders. There must be something preventing her from accessing your memories-” he paused when he recalled how San had been the one able to access Yena’s memories when no one else could. He wondered if he should call him.
“Something wrong?” Gaeul asked cautiously, tucking her hair behind her ears. 
“Nothing, I just had… an idea. Anyways, I came here to let you know about Jongho, and… warn you about something. If your magic is as threatening as we think, we might have to put you in the cell here in the basement- it is laced with nullifying magic. It’s not as scary as it sounds- you just won’t feel your magic. Are you okay with that?”
Gaeul thought for a few moments- the last thing she wanted was to be a danger to the Princes. Of course she was okay. “Nothing will go wrong though, I hope?”
“I’m hoping that is so,” Wooyoung got up when he heard a knock on the door and let the guards who were carrying three trays filled with a variety of dishes inside the room. “Let’s eat while we talk.”
Gaeul could get used to this, she thought. Prince Wooyoung- or Wooyoung, as he insisted he be called- wasn’t as scary as she thought. He was easy to talk to. He didn’t make her feel like she was an alien, which truthfully, everyone else made her feel like. And he was humble. He ate with her at least once a day for the three days she had been here. She wondered if all the Princes were like this, and sometimes she would ask Wooyoung about his life. He would answer without hesitation most of the time.
“If it is a memory, I remember the time you came to the beach- near Ascella, when I was 10,” Gaeul scooped some chicken and mashed potatoes in her plate and Wooyoung raised a brow- Gaeul hadn’t talked much about herself so far. “I think I lived somewhere near there. It’s where I found myself in this state.”
“I’ve only been to Ascella beach a handful of times, and yes, I did visit when I was 10- we’re the same age, it seems.”
“I remember something about how you caused some sort of a storm and scared everyone present. I, unfortunately, was one of them.”
“Ah, so it was that time,” Wooyoung laughed. “I blame San- he was there with me too.”
“Prince San was with you at that time?” Gaeul wowed. “So I saw him too?”
“You must have if you saw me,” Wooyoung took a bite of the bun, thinking. “San pissed me off so I threatened him with a storm. He threatened to let the sand swallow me. We cooled down then.”
Gaeul almost giggled, holding herself back, and Wooyoung looked at her, amused. “You know, you’re allowed to laugh in my company.”
“Actually… I haven’t laughed in a while,” Gaeul admitted. “So… I think this was a memory, right?”
“Definitely, which means what you remember is mostly memories. Do you remember your parents?”
“I think I do. My father was a healer, but he died when I was 15. My mother… She followed soon after. My aunts and uncles took care of me after that.”
“What’s the last memory that you remember?” Wooyoung asked. 
Gaeul thought for a moment- it was the memory that confused her the most, that made her question if she remembered a past life or something. “I think I was travelling in this kingdom… somewhere east. I think I saw this red haired guy do something- I can’t recall. All I know is that I saw his eyes glow before he killed me-”
“You saw his eyes glow?” Wooyoung frowned. This sounded an awful lot like someone he wished he didn’t know.
“If I’m not tripping, yes,” Gaeul’s eyes were steel- she knew it sounded unbelievable but she remembered this moment the most clearly. “They glowed like gold. Like-”
“Amber eyes, huh?” Wooyoung’s suspicions were confirmed. “Red hair and eyes that change to amber. Who are you, Gaeul?”
Gaeul frowned and then the door opened, revealing dark hair and a very handsome man walked in, eyes wide as he looked from her to Wooyoung and then back.
“Nice timing, Jongho,” Wooyoung didn’t finish his plate- he had no appetite anymore. “Kieran’s playing with us even from another world.”
—-------------------
Hongjoong was startled, to put it simply, when Yena and Seonghwa portalled right in front of him, in his room. He could never get used to the jumpscare he got, and he was positive that one day he was going to pass away because of a heart attack due to Yena startling him.
“A little warning is always nice!” Hongjoong yelled at the two, clutching his heart and exhaling, and Seonghwa chuckled. 
“We did send a little warning,” Yena pointed out. “Why didn’t you reply? It has been three days. This is so unlike you- I thought something happened.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been… busy,” Hongjoong shrugged as he ran his eyes around the room, Yena and Seonghwa following. There were books, scrolls, maps, everything scattered around him. Yena skimmed through a few notes that made no sense to her. Hongjoong got up, feeling guilty because Yena looked like she was actually worried that something happened to him. “I’m sorry, come here.”
Yena pouted before walking to Hongjoong and hugging him, Seonghwa joining the two as well. “You should have let us know, Hongjoong.”
“Well, now that you’re both here, I’ll just tell you in person,” Hongjoong pushed a few books aside to make room on the floor. “So here’s how it is.”
Hongjoong started explaining how there were no records of such magic existing, but he didn’t think it was something natural- as in, no one of fae blood could be born with such a power. “A darkling would have been a different matter, but I believe it’s a faerie. Darklings feel different, but they don’t feel wrong, as you know.”
Yena knew that all too well. She nodded, tensing. Seonghwa put a hand on her back- some scars never faded. “So how would a faerie possess such magic in the first place? And what sort of magic are we even talking about?”
“All I know for now is that the magic has evolved to take this shape. It wasn’t always like this- or if it was, it had been subdued like your magic, Yena. But… I think we would have still felt something if that was the case. Because when you were missing, we always knew deep down that you were alive.”
“That’s right,” Seonghwa nodded. “So who’s this faerie?”
“Surprisingly enough, Wooyoung is on it,” Hongjoong said and Seonghwa and Yena looked at each other. Hongjoong laughed. “I guess Wooyoung didn’t tell you?”
“That brat,” Yena muttered. “How come?”
Hongjoong explained how Wooyoung had been the nearest to the faerie and had taken her to the High Healers to get answers. “They’re keeping her in his basement- she won’t be a danger there.”
“Good idea,” Seonghwa nodded. Yena looked back and forth between the two.
“Wait, hold up. Some poor thing is in Wooyoung’s basement? You know how wrong that sounds?”
The two burst out laughing, and Hongjoong shook his head. “Wooyoung had… problems with his powers, as you have heard. The basement his parents built was specialised to contain all magic inside those four walls. No magic can get across that.”
“I wonder who this faerie is though…” Yena shuddered- she recalled the time she was having trouble with her own magic and felt so hopeless. “Do we know who she is?”
“I have a feeling we will soon,” Hongjoong said knowingly.
What Hongjoong didn’t tell them was that San was probably on his way to Rukbat. Hongjoong had received a message from San’s court letting him know about how he had ‘ran away’ from his kingdom. Hongjoong was very curious about why San felt the sudden need to leave without letting anyone know. Was he feeling something about this situation differently than the others?
But then again, San was always sensitive. He felt Yena’s magic even when it was blocked and believed she was the Lost Princess before anyone else. If he had ignored Yena at that time… Hongjoong shuddered- they wouldn’t be here right now, none of them. So Hongjoong decided that there must have been a reason for San to act this way, and that he would give him time to come to terms with whatever his reasoning was.
Yena and Seonghwa looked at each other- Hongjoong knew something more than he told them. Seonghwa shrugged, figuring if it was something important, he’d know soon anyway. “Should we do something about this? Or let Wooyoung handle this?”
“I say let Wooyoung handle this… for now. I have a feeling we’re all involved in this somehow,” Hongjoong looked grim as he met eyes with Yena. “I think… let’s wait for Wooyoung’s verdict on this before I make any guesses.”
Yena’s heart sank- she instantly knew what Hongjoong meant. Over and over throughout the two and a half years, Yena had worried if going back in time had been the right decision after all. Of course, it had- she had saved Seonghwa from his untimely death. She would do it again. But… maybe she could have done it in a different way? Taken a different approach? Hongjoong told her it was alright to feel paranoid about this, considering what she had been through, but he had never imagined one day he would actually have to worry about this seriously.
That was, in fact, what he was trying to find in his archives now. There wasn’t much about time travel in the first place, kept strictly confidential, and he was worried they would have to figure this one out on their own. He decided at that moment to let Yeosang in on this possibility but keep Yena as uninvolved as possible until they were sure- he didn’t want her to worry more.
“What did you feel, Yena? And Seonghwa?” Hongjoong asked, changing the topic before Yena could probe any further.
“Something unnatural- it is not supposed to exist,” Yena admitted, rubbing her arms. 
“Something dark in nature- which made me wonder if it was a darkling, but… it’s different, isn’t it?” Seonghwa raised a brow and Hongjoong agreed. Seonghwa and Hongjoong, with their magic, were like two peas in a pod. Light and Dark. They felt exactly the same way about magic ever since they were little.
“You should go back and stay until you’re needed,” Hongjoong got up, stretching. “There’s no need to worry and gather right now- there’s no point. Let’s believe in Wooyoung- I heard Jongho’s joining him soon so we can feel comfortable that there’s one brain that would actually be working.”
The two laughed, nodding- Jongho would keep Wooyoung in place, definitely. “Well, it was nice to meet you,” Seonghwa shook his head, smiling. “We just wanted to check on you.”
“Next time you decide to ‘check’ on me, give me a heads-up first,” Hongjoong put a hand on his heart, eyes wide. “You nearly stopped my heart.”
“This was Yena’s idea, to scare you-” Seonghwa was ambushed by Yena putting a hand over his mouth, shaking her head in denial while laughing, portalling back in an instant. Hongjoong’s smile fell, and he went back to the journal he had hid behind him when they had arrived.
This was definitely connected to all of them. And it wasn’t good. Whoever that faerie was didn’t matter anymore- she was merely a glitch in the matrix now. And glitches… shouldn’t exist.
—-----------------
San was having the most intense deja vu of his life. 
He was travelling the same route as the one he took about two years ago- except that now he was using that route to travel away from home. He stopped at the same spots as he did, except that this time he was alone. 
About two years ago, he had visited the border for some business, and on his way back he had encountered a lost traveller- Yena, whom he later discovered was the Princess Yena. He had felt the connection to her instantly, though he couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it meant. After all, it was a huge coincidence that he met Yena like that- but to this date, he wasn’t sure if they had met each other because of an unlikely coincidence or because Kieran played them all like chess pieces on his board.
Kieran. The darkling who claimed the identity of the late 9th Prince of Illusions- Junyoung- to the point that he forgot his real name. And then he assumed multiple identities to get close to Yena and Seonghwa.
San sighed as he poked the burning fire he had built with a piece of wood while he took a break from travelling. He kept thinking of two years ago- how oblivious they had all been until the worst happened- Kieran killed Seonghwa. Yena had to go back in time and risk a paradox that could mean the end of everyone’s existence just to get Seonghwa back. Everyone agreed to do that, and it went smoothly, except that there were two versions of Yena existing-
Everything, including Seonghwa’s death and Yena going back in time was meant to happen. Kieran had played them over and over again. He had killed Seonghwa on purpose, knowing Yena would go back in time. And then when they reached the climax again- when Kieran was supposed to kill Seonghwa- he took Yena instead. 
San had to admit, he was a criminal genius, Kieran was. He made Yena mess with time- the most dangerous magic one could possibly possess. He couldn’t help but think this unnatural feeling was a result of the time travelling- how he knew, San had no idea. It’s like he could feel it all over again- everything, just like he had felt Yena was one of them. His magic was sensitive that way.
But this time… something was different, and it drove him crazy. It wasn’t just the magic he could sense. He could sense the anxiety that came with it, whoever this was. He could feel the panic, the hurt. He had never felt closer to someone, and he had never imagined he could when miles separated them. Just how was he connected to this? He could understand that Yena could feel whoever this was- probably connected to her magic in one way or another. He could understand that Seonghwa could feel its dark nature too, which meant Hongjoong must have felt it too. 
It made him scratch his hair out- he wanted nothing more than to see just who this was that drove him crazy. They probably didn’t even know how San felt. He was so curious and scared about what the future held for him.
—--------------
Hongjoong wondered if such a dimension existed where he could watch the past rewind like a deity. 
Hongjoong had been scribbling notes from what he got- any clue, any indication or sign, just about anything relevant or irrelevant. He had been sitting in a pile of pages and books for days now, and he finally got a message from Wooyoung that confirmed all of his suspicions. 
Kieran might have killed Gaeul- I don’t know how the timelines work, but he killed Gaeul, or tried to. The point is, she is alive. Her magic became the opposite of what it used to be. She lost her memories. She looks like she came back from the dead, literally. Jongho is here- let me know how to handle this.
Hongjoong felt like throwing up- either from the restlessness or the fact that Kieran really had messed up. He needed to see Gaeul, needed to hear everything from her in person. And he needed to keep Yena out of this. He couldn’t involve her again- not so soon, not unless she was the key to putting things back again.
She had already been through so much. He couldn’t do this to her again.
Hongjoong wrote a message to Yunho first. Let Seonghwa know, without Yena’s knowledge, to keep Yena out of this until and if she’s required. That was enough to let Yunho and Seonghwa know that they were involved in this whether they wanted to or not.
Then Hongjoong wrote a message to Wooyoung, letting him know that he would be coming to Rukbat. It would take him about three days. Until then, Jongho and Wooyoung would have to get the most out of her.
Hongjoong packed a bag with his necessities before taking a quick shower. He was going to leave immediately. When he came out, his Right Hand Jaebeom was waiting for him. 
“You look like you’ll pass out if you stay awake any longer,” Jaebeom shook his head. “A little rest before travelling isn’t a bad idea if you’re insisting on travelling alone.”
Hongjoong sighed. “Maybe I should take someone. I don’t have time to spare, Jaebeom.”
“Let Yugyeom accompany you then,” Jaebeom got up, patting Hongjoong’s back to encourage him. “He can return once he drops you off at Rukbat.”
“Should I?” Hongjoong wondered out loud but his thoughts were miles away. Jaebeom shook his head, amused, as he sent someone to call for Yugyeom while they ate lunch.
“I might need to summon some High Healers if the situation calls for it,” Hongjoong munched on pasta as he recalled how some of his healers had really helped Yena calm down when her magic was going out of control. “Have them on standby.”
“I will,” Jaebeom assured him. “And if someone sends a message for you?”
Hongjoong knew he meant Yena- he was going to pretend that he was here. “You’re good at pretending you’re me, aren’t you? I mean, you have been writing the official documents for me since forever-”
“We’re practically the same,” Jaebeom rolled his eyes. “Hongjoong. She’ll know in a second.”
“Ah, I don’t know. Just get someone to fire-message me or something so we can deal with it.”
“And if I can’t reach you?” Jaebeom scoffed.
“Then pretend you are me, and tell dear old Princess Yena that everything is alright and under control. Try to sound like me,” Hongjoong gave Jaebeom a fake wide smile that had him laughing out loud.
“Alright, alright. I got this. We got this.”
“We got nothing, Jaebeom. Everything is a mess now,” Hongjoong sighed.
—-----------------
“So you’re telling me,” Jongho rolled dramatically along the wall, leaving Gaeul baffled- she had never imagined the Princes were so… casual. “You’re telling me that somehow, Kieran has unintentionally or intentionally messed up the timeline and she’s here when she’s supposed to be dead?”
“We don’t know that yet,” Wooyoung was half lying on the floor, drawing circles with his finger. “That’s what she remembers. Her memory is as good as Seonghwa’s ability to sit cross-legged.”
“But Seonghwa can’t sit cross-legged-”
“Exactly,” Wooyoung looked at Jongho and he snorted. Gaeul, who was sitting on her bed with her knees drawn to her chest, watched the two panic- that’s what it had to be- the calm before the storm.
"But then…" Jongho sank down on the ground. "Suppose she was killed in the previous timeline. In this timeline, somehow, she's alive. How is that any different from Seonghwa's situation?"
"Exactly," Wooyoung clapped. "He didn't become anti-dark just because he didn't die in this timeline."
"Anti-dark would be called light, Wooyoung," Gaeul mumbled and Jongho snorted.
"Whatever," Wooyoung waved his hand in dismissal. "Seonghwa remains the Prince of Dark."
"So Princess Yena went back in time to save Prince Seonghwa?" Gaeul looked at the two. "Just what happened two years ago? All I remember is hearing rumours of Prince Yeosang's twin being alive."
"Uh, nothing happened," Jongho smiled and gave Wooyoung a side-eye. Wooyoung shrugged.
"She might as well know, Jongho. For some reason, she is involved directly or indirectly with what happened two years ago."
Gaeul watched the two bicker back and forth, her stomach twisting nervously. "Can I get some fresh air?"
"Yeah, we can open the windows-"
"No, I mean… can I go out? I feel like I'm suffocating right now," Gaeul gulped.
Wooyoung narrowed his eyes suspiciously but Jongho stood up. "Of course you can. You don't have to worry about your magic getting out of control too. I think the two of us can handle it if something happens."
Wooyoung gaped as he watched Jongho extend a friendly hand to Gaeul and she took it hesitantly, following him outside, urging Wooyoung to come along as well. Jongho led her to one of the gardens in the back without many guards. He watched as Gaeul simply strolled along the path etched beside the walls, brushing her fingers along the plants along the way. Wooyoung and Jongho stood watching, and Wooyoung elbowed him.
"What were you thinking?"
"Don't make her feel like a prisoner here, Wooyoung," Jongho warned as he looked at the elder Prince. "Her magic… I felt it when I took her hand. If she gets nervous or anxious - which you do a great job at making her feel- her magic can explode with a wave. Let her feel that she's free and she has nothing much to worry about while we figure this out. And don't tell her too much about what happened, will you?"
"Ugh, I can't wait for Hongjoong to come," Wooyoung groaned. "We literally have no idea what we're doing right now."
"Exactly," Jongho sighed. "Anti-nature. I never thought I'd see that one day- not from a faerie, at least."
"Do you feel anything else apart from the magic?" Wooyoung asked. Jongho shook his head.
"I don't even know what I really feel. She just makes me… nervous. She makes my magic nervous. I figured because our magics are opposite now, so…"
"No luck with the healers as well," Wooyoung watched Gaeul lay down flat on the grass as she stared at the sky. "Do you think it's a… trap? All of this? She could be Kieran 2.0. Or she could be a bait."
"Whatever it is, needs to be dealt with quickly," Jongho looked at Wooyoung. "Before things get worse. Because I sense it. You do too, right?"
"Impending doom," Wooyoung sighed. "The worst feeling I've ever had."
—-----------------
San reached in the middle of the night, sighing in relief only when he saw the dim lights glowing from the glass structure of what was Wooyoung’s palace. He felt relaxed for the first time in a while since he could sense Wooyoung and Jongho- he wasn’t surprised Jongho came. But….
He could also feel another presence strong enough to be reckoned with. Not as strong as the Princes, but close enough. San bit the inside of his cheeks, realising the gravity of the situation- he had no idea who he was looking for, but someone called out to him desperately. Desperately enough to make him travel all alone for days. And now that he was closer… the feeling only grew.
Meanwhile, Gaeul woke up with her body covered in sweat, gasping for breath. She was alone in her room but she was pretty sure there was a healer or a guard stationed outside, and some stationed on the stairs. She could suddenly sense everyone-
She shut her eyes as her body shook with a jolt- someone was here. Someone she wasn’t sure she wanted to meet, but her magic was almost suffocating her- the pit in her heart… she felt like she was drowning.
Gaeul stood up with shaky legs, going first to the sink to wash her face. Her eyes looked sunken but the silver in her eyes still glowed. She frowned- she wasn’t sure she ever had silver in her dark eyes before. Running a hand through her short hair, she cautiously opened the door, finding one of the healers, Yoohyeon, dozing off in the hall.
Gaeul wondered if she should wake Yoohyeon up and ask her if she could go outside, or let her sleep. But with her magic getting out of control, making her feel like it would burst any moment, she was worried she’d be a danger. So she slowly walked to Yoohyeon and called her name twice, making Yoohyeon stretch dramatically before she opened her eyes. She checked her wristwatch- it was nearly 3 in the morning. 
“Something wrong?” 
“I feel like my magic is going to burst in a wave like it did earlier,” Gaeul was almost jumping on her feet now, “I need to go out.”
“Uh, I think I need to take you to the cell in that case. Your magic won’t be able to escape those walls.”
“You don’t understand,” Gaeul panicked, feeling something slowly crawl inside her body, making its way up. “I need air. If I go in there, I don’t know what damage I would do-”
Yoohyeon got up, nodding her head, about to hold Gaeul and rub her arms but she flinched away. She sighed. “I know you don’t mean harm. But the cell- it’s built specifically to contain magic inside. Come on- you’ll be fine. It’s like a big room- you won’t feel like it’s suffocating you.”
Gaeul reluctantly followed Yoohyeon to the other end of the hall, feeling her magic rise to her chest now. She scanned the cell- it was very plain, just 4 walls and a single lamp illuminating its inside. Gaeul looked at Yoohyeon helplessly.
“I’m going to call for someone while you stay there, okay?” Yoohyeon smiled warmly, but it did nothing to calm Gaeul down. Yoohyeon shut the door, and Gaeul found herself surrounded by four walls. She slid down by one of them, facing the door.
It’s okay, she told herself. If you go outside, you’ll hurt and kill things. It’s better to stay inside until the magic wears out.
Only, the magic wasn’t wearing out. It grew more in intensity, and San felt it- felt the change in the nature of the magic like it was his own. Something was fueling the magic further. San leaned forward on his horse, urging it to go faster. By the time he reached the gates, he could feel it.
Impending doom.
He jumped off the horse, the guards letting him in instantly. He entered the building, looking around- everything seemed normal. He started towards Wooyoung’s room upstairs but then he felt it-
The basement.
San scoffed- of course whoever it was was in the basement. San took the shortcut, going outside until he was at the backside of the palace, asking the guards stationed out to let him in. 
“Prince Wooyoung doesn’t allow anyone to go inside at night-”
“For fuck’s sake, let me in and get as far away as you can unless you want to die tonight,” San’s eyes glowed and that was enough for the guards to open the lock and get the hell away from there. He spotted Yoohyeon who came his way,
“Prince San? What are you doing here?”
“Get Wooyoung immediately, there’s no time,” San warned, “Whoever’s inside? Their magic is going to explode.”
“But she is in the cell-”
“The cell that nullifies magic?” San shook his head. “It’s fueling it instead. Get Wooyoung and Jongho immediately.”
Yoohyeon gasped, running off and San rushed downstairs, opening every door- he had never been in the basement personally. By the time he reached the end of the hall, he could hear someone’s sobs and chokes. 
San stopped for a moment outside the door that had to be the one. He frowned- even with the dangerous magic bound to kill everything, he could feel something else- a connection. Was it because this faerie was somehow connected to what took place two years ago? He wasn’t sure. With a deep breath, he opened the door and he sucked in his breath when he saw a girl with her knees brought to her chest, sobbing.
This was the last thing he was expecting to see. It was like Yena’s situation all over again. San slowly stepped inside, muttering a soft ‘hey’, causing the girl to look up-
Gaeul and San both felt it then- something inside them tugging and calling out to each other, and it was not magic.
Gaeul frowned, ignoring whatever it was in case it made her magic any angrier. “You should get away. It’s not safe here.”
“I came to get you out of here,” San’s warm voice left Gaeul surprised, especially when he smiled and his whole face softened. He sat down on one knee in front of her, scanning her. “It’s not safe to be here. You need to get out.”
“Who are you?” Gaeul almost whispered. San extended his hand.
“I’m San. I’m sure you’ve already heard about me now.”
Gaeul pursed her lips, stifling her smile. She had, alright. She glanced at his extended hand. “If I hold your hand, I might possibly kill you.”
“You won’t,” San assured. “Trust me.”
If it was Wooyoung or anyone else, Gaeul would have never taken their hand at a time like this. She would have screamed at them to run away from her, to get as far away as possible. But something about San was so different than anyone else she had met so far. And without hesitation, she took his hand, his calloused fingers providing her instant consolation that everything would be alright. 
Without saying anything else, San started leading her away from the room, sending a little spark of his own magic through their connected hands, trying to figure out the nature of her magic and just how unsafe everyone was. By the time he got out, Wooyoung and Jongho audibly gasped.
“Are you stupid?!” Wooyoung yelled. “Her magic will hurt you!”
“No, it won’t,” San shook his head. “I’ve got this, trust me. Just… follow me. And create a shield around us while you’re at it. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Wooyooung and Jongho watched San lead Gaeul to the garden that she’d gone to earlier, both of them standing in disbelief for a few moments before they looked at each other. 
“Did you hear that?” Wooyoung scoffed. “Trust me, he said. Trust this little-”
“Shut up and create a shield,” Jongho laughed. “He must have a reason. He’s not as stupid as you.”
“Sure,” Wooyoung mocked. “A reason. Let’s hear that.”
San stopped in the middle of the garden, instructing Jongho and Wooyoung to shield themselves while they were at it. Wooyoung protested but San assured them he would not get hurt.
“It’s like when Yena had a block,” he explained finally, glancing at Gaeul. “I know what to do. I’m basically an expert at this now.”
“Right. Let’s see how far you get blown off. Gaeul! Make sure your magic throws him a good few miles away- maybe out of Rukbat.”
Gaeul was practically squirming. “I can’t hold it in anymore.”
“You don’t have to,” San took her other hand. “Close your eyes and try to reach the root of your magic. I’ll be there.”
The two of them shut their eyes, and Gaeul almost screamed- her magic was seconds away from exploding, but she saw it. It had to be San’s magic- the reddish brown, almost golden thread making its way beside her magic, circling it. Gaeul shook her head- he would get hurt. 
“This is not my magic. I cannot control it,” Gaeul whispered and San squeezed her hands to let her know that he could hear her. “Just looking at it is making me suffocate.”
“I understand now,” San replied. “Just… stay strong. It’s going to hurt.”
Gaeul had no idea how much it was going to hurt, but when San’s magic coiled around the black and silver raging storm of magic and covered it entirely, she felt a moment of calm. And then his magic started squeezing her magic into nothingness- or at least it tried, because Gaeul’s ear piercing screams made San flinch and realise this was not going to work. He instantly created a shield around himself and dropped Gaeul’s hands, making her sink to the ground and clutch her head.
And then a wave came, nothing like San had imagined. If he hadn’t shielded himself, he would have been obliterated. Jongho and Wooyoung sent their magic back, fighting the wave and containing it within the small sphere so no one else would get hurt. For a good minute, it was a battle for their life before Gaeul stopped screaming and slumped down, unconscious. San breathed, slumping down with her, looking at Jongho and Wooyoung in disbelief. Wooyoung scanned the perimeter- thankfully, only the area within the sphere had ‘died’. The grass was grey, the flowers were ashes. Jongho sank down to his knees.
“I don’t feel so good,” Jongho’s face was pale. Wooyoung bent down next to him, touching his forehead. It was because of the magic being opposite in nature to Jongho. Wooyoung lent some of his strength to him just in time to stop him from fainting as well. He let Jongho lie down on the grass, out of energy.
“Well,” Wooyoung looked at San, grinning. “This is interesting.”
San glared at him before struggling up on his feet and joining the two, laughing helplessly as he sank down with the two. “I had to withdraw. This magic… It's not fae magic. It’s not even darkling magic.” He drew out his hand and frowned- the ashes were cold- like snow.
“Tell me about it,” Wooyoung sighed. “Jongho calls it ‘anti-nature’.”
“That’s because she used to have the magic of nature,” Jongho practically wailed. “Look around you and tell me this sight doesn’t scream ‘anti-nature’.”
San nodded- he had never seen anything like this. The grass and flowers hadn’t wilted- they had turned ash. “The cell, Wooyoung. It was fueling her magic. I could feel it from a mile away.”
“Well, shit,” Wooyoung looked at Gaeul, worried for a second that she had died but her chest rising up and down slowly relieved him. “Does that mean her magic can’t even be called magic?”
“Unnatural,” San scoffed. “Death- but not simply death. This is something beyond dead- look at this,” he plucked the grey grass that softened into powder with his touch. “Anti-magic. What is the opposite of magic, Wooyoung?”
“Mundane? But this is anything but that. This is… bewitchery, but it’s not that either. Bewitchery was what Junyoung’s uncle tried to do. This is… I don’t know. Let’s hope Hongjoong has a name for this, because if he does not… we’re in deep, deep trouble.”
—-------------------
The next afternoon, Wooyoung got a message from Hongjoong informing him that he’d be taking a little ‘detour’ in hopes of confirming his theory. The message was as ambiguous as it could get, so the three decided to chat with Gaeul.
Gaeul, however, was not having it. The boys were either bickering with each other about things she did not understand, or staring at her like an alien which made her fidget a lot. And right now, the boys were doing the latter. Gaeul stared back at the three of them for a good few moments before she turned around, making them face her back, which was when they broke out of their trance.
“I’m sorry,” San chuckled, “I’m just… confused. Please turn around, Gaeul.”
Gaeul sighed- she did not understand why San saying her name sounded so different. She turned around and her heart immediately warmed at the way he looked at her- sharp eyes that were so soft at times. “What happened last night?”
“I tried calming your magic down, but we have a theory…” San looked at Wooyoung and Jongho, wondering if it was wise to let her know.
“I have an idea so please let me know,” Gaeul gave Jongho and Wooyoung a side-eye when they tried warning San with wide eyes and bobbing heads. “Please tell me what’s going on with me. I’m as confused as you all are.”
“That, I believe,” San nodded. “Your magic… it’s not ‘magic’ anymore. Not like every faerie on this planet. Not even like the darklings-”
“You keep talking about darklings,” Gaeul looked at Wooyoung. “Kieran, was it? Who was he? Have you met a lot of darklings? Are they on this planet?”
“Slow down,” Wooyoung laughed. “Kieran was a darkling, yes, on this planet but not of his own accord. He’s the only one we’ve met.”
“We’ve met Neve too,” Jongho added.
“For like ten seconds, Jongho,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“Ten seconds?” Gaeul was starting to believe that Wooyoung and Jongho weren’t quite sane in the head.
“Yes, he popped in from another dimension to say hi and take Kieran back,” Wooyoung looked at Gaeul as if daring her to call it bullshit. 
“So what does this Kieran possibly have to do with me?”
“You mentioned red hair and glowing eyes… amber eyes?” San asked cautiously and Gaeul nodded hesitantly.
“I believe, yes. He supposedly killed me. Could be a dream.”
“I don’t think it’s a dream,” San looked at Wooyoung. “There’s a reason her magic reversed itself. Why would Kieran kill her though?”
“That’s the one thing I don’t understand,” Jongho tilted his head as he watched Gaeul. “She was a normal faerie with an affinity for nature. Nothing unusual there. Did she see something or hear something she wasn’t supposed to? Or was it mere bad luck?”
“Kieran wasn’t one to kill someone without a reason, was he? Every move he made, every life he took was calculated. As far as I know, he hasn’t even killed that many people.”
“San’s right,” Wooyoung started. “Two years ago… that’s the point of Kieran’s life where he couldn’t risk making a mistake. Killing Gaeul, who lived a very normal life at the beach with her family… there must have been a reason. And that reason is to fuck us up, obviously, but there’s another reason that I feel is more valid.”
“So are we going to watch me everyday like we’ve been doing for days now? Or are we doing something?” Gaeul was starting to hate the basement now. 
“Dear old Hongjoong went on a little trip before coming here,” Wooyoung sighed. “Until then, I suggest we stay put and not try anything.”
“Don’t look at me,” San raised his hands in surrender. “I only prevented an explosion that would have obliterated your ass.”
“We would have been fine,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “Tell him, Jongho.”
“I’m not telling him anything,” it was Jongho’s turn to surrender. “After experiencing it firsthand, I’m done assuming things about Gaeul.”
“Something tells me there’s more to your story,” Gaeul raised her eyebrow. Jongho sighed, giving in.
“I could feel you all the way in my castle. The day Wooyoung found you… your magic touched a flower, didn’t it?” Gaeul nodded, surprised, and he continued. “When your magic exploded, I felt it. It was unnatural, and I’m the Prince of Nature. Of course I would feel it- just like last night. It makes me feel sick- no offence to you.”
“None taken. It makes me sick too,” Gaeul sighed, looking away. “But… how come you can feel it from so far away? Do all Princes have like… a sensor?”
“Something like that,” San laughed. “Jongho felt it because of the magic. Wooyoung felt it because you were close, right?”
“Yeah, probably,” Wooyoung nodded. “And you felt it because?”
“I don’t know,” San shrugged, recalling the other feeling he had. His eyes met Gaeul at that moment and his heart sank- and so did Gaeul’s. “I… I’ve been feeling her for months now. I think… when I came to visit you last time, Wooyoung. Four months ago? The proximity might have triggered it.”
“But you’ve been feeling her all along?” Jongho frowned. “Is it because your magic is sensitive?” 
“Probably,” San nodded slowly. “I could feel the magic growing slowly. I could feel that it was wrong. But there was something else- it made me nervous to the point that I couldn’t focus.”
“Weird,” Wooyoung made a face. “Yena and Seonghwa felt it too, probably because it’s connected to the two somehow. We’re keeping Yena out of this, in case you decide to send her a cute message about how you saved my ass from obliterating-”
“I won’t,” San kicked Wooyoung’s leg, making Jongho and Gaeul giggle. “She’s had enough already.”
“What’s the Princess like?” Gaeul asked and the three looked at her. “I don’t think I ever heard about her while I was… alive? Before Kieran supposedly killed me.”
“She’s like us,” Wooyoung smiled.
“She’s like Wooyoung,” Jongho sighed and Wooyoung smacked his arm. 
“What’s wrong with that!?”
“So when did you hear about the Princess?” Jongho asked, ignoring Wooyoung altogether.
“A few months ago… I found myself at the beach, but I was in no state to move and I had no memory. I somehow made it to the forest and some people found me. Everything’s fuzzy- I don’t even know when this amnesia episode started. It could be a few months or a year-”
“What’s the first ‘news’ you heard, if you can recall?” Jongho asked and looked at the two Princes. “I think we can figure out when she woke up. Or came back to life. Whatever it is.”
“Prince Seonghwa and Princess Yena’s wedding was going to take place in a few days,” Gaeul recalled- it was the most memorable news she had heard that had stuck with her. “I remember because I had no idea who this Yena girl was. And then later I found out that she was the Lost Princess.”
“But it’s been 6 months,” Wooyoung frowned. “When we say two years ago, we actually mean two and a half. So… she woke up before Yena’s wedding. We didn’t feel her for four months at most, right? Unless someone felt it earlier. Does that mean her magic wasn’t in this state at that point?”
“That’s right,” Gaeul confirmed. “That time is hazy but I remember the faeries wondering if I had magic in the first place.”
“If Hongjoong was here, we would have figured all of this out in one sitting,” Jongho groaned, slumping down on the couch. 
“Did Prince Hongjoong feel this too?” Gaeul asked.
“Oh, he feels everything,” San waved a hand in dismissal. “Everything that the light touches, I think.”
“So if you’re the Prince of Earth, do you feel everything that happens on this land?”
“Something like that. Yunho is the Prince of Water, so he feels everything wrong in the ocean-” San paused, his mouth parting as he looked at Gaeul. “Didn’t you say you were found by the beach?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“So Yunho must have felt when exactly!” San got up, clapping. “See? We have a brain too. We don’t always need Hongjoong.”
Gaeul tried stifling her smile but the look on Jongho’s face and the grimace on Wooyoung’s made her laugh and she put a hand on her mouth as San turned, muttering sorry. He only shook his head in amusement. 
“Jongho, quick. Write a message to Yunho and ask when exactly he felt something was wrong.”
“Does it matter?” Gaeul asked. “Where was I for the two years that I have no memory of?”
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we always need Hongjoong,” Jongho bowed dramatically, making San pout as he slumped back to the couch.
—------------------
The last thing Mingi expected one fine Sunday morning was Yeosang strolling into his chamber, materialising out of thin air, and immediately fainting right on the couch.
For a second, Mingi panicked, but he could see his chest rise and fall. Mingi poked his arms- he even twitched, his blonde hair falling messily on his forehead. Mingi shook his head, scoffing. “A little warning would have been nice!”
Yeosang, of course, didn’t respond. It appeared that he had portalled himself. His portalling method was very different from Yena, and he had started practising it not too long ago, though he always had a theory it would work. But turning into a spirit and then materialising into a body elsewhere was risky business- more risky than Yena opening a portal in space and risk portalling somewhere else- or some ‘time’ else. 
Or perhaps, Mingi thought as he sat down beside Yeosang, going back to his documents, perhaps portalling into an unknown dimension with a different flow of time was more dangerous.
Mingi recalled the time when the darkling Kieran had almost driven Yena mad, forcing her to practise her time magic so he could go back in time for some twisted revenge. Mingi had found Yena just in time, and Yena in a state of panic had accidentally portalled herself and Mingi into another dimension where time flow was different. After spending months in that dimension, they came back when Yena finally figured out exactly where she was, finding that only a few hours had passed in reality.
If Yena had been alone, he wasn’t sure she would have made it back. She was in no state to be alone, after being a hostage to Kieran. Mingi wondered sometimes if he was fated to be the one to find Yena. It had somehow made his magic different, spending that time with her in a dimension where no one else but the two existed. 
This was definitely why he could feel some poor soul with its own magic burning it. He was sure Yeosang could feel it too and was here to talk about it.
He was right. When Yeosang finally woke up, it took him a good few moments to gain his senses. Mingi pointed to the bottle of water in front of him and he hungrily gulped all of it down- portalling, for some reason, left him parched. Once he had finished the last drop, he finally breathed.
“You look well,” Yeosang commented.
“Because I have been sitting in my own body unlike someone in this room,” Mingi scoffed, amused. “What are you up to?”
“I heard some rumours that I thought I’d share with you first,” Yeosang leaned forward, “Some very… interesting rumours.”
Mingi ran a hand through his red hair. “Well?”
“Apparently,” Yeosang’s eyes glittered, “someone actually came back from the dead.”
Mingi gave Yeosang the side-eye. “As in?”
Yeosang huffed. “My spirits tell me that something was amiss. As you know, time flow doesn’t affect them. So when Yena changed the timeline, nothing in that dimension changed. Anyways, from the reports I gathered, there was some sort of black hole- if you can call it that- forming in that dimension. I don’t know how I missed it, but some tell me it didn’t stay in the same place.”
“And what does that mean?” Mingi frowned.
“Apparently the hole grew until it disappeared one day about six months ago. Again, I’m not sure about the time, but that’s what I got.”
“I think Yunho told me when he felt something strange. He was out in the ocean for days trying to figure out whatever it was.”
Yeosang paled after hearing that. “That sounds too similar to necromancy. Water and black holes. The dimension of the dead. Never a good combination. But… necromancy doesn’t work like that. It’s done by someone, and the black hole doesn’t ‘travel’ around the dimension, it sticks to the reality here. And… there’s something else.”
Mingi raised his brows in anticipation and Yeosang sighed. “I casually confirmed with San, Wooyoung, and Jongho’s court, but there have been people going ‘missing’ in the past few months. No traces, no pattern. My spirits tell me that they’re alive, but they… They are in another dimension. Maybe sucked by the black hole.”
“That’s crazy, why would someone willingly go into something that looked like a black hole?”
“Unless they were dragged in it,” Yeosang bit his lips. “If my sources aren’t lying- and they have no reason to- they believe some ‘otherworldly’ creatures now prowl in this land.”
Mingi sat back, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face ‘otherworldly’ creatures- the creatures that already existed on this planet were enough. “So what’s your verdict?” 
“Hongjoong. He needs to hear this. I think… it’s time we all gathered. Whatever this is, it’s not supposed to exist.”
“Actually,” Mingi pursed his lips, “I can feel it too. A soul burning from too much magic, except it’s not magic. It’s… something different.”
“Yeah. It has the ability to disintegrate living beings. What do we do?”
“Send a message to Hongjoong first,” Mingi immediately started writing a message. “We need to gather.”
—------------------
Hongjoong was in the middle of the Peridot Sea, somewhere between Mingi’s Kingdom of Leo and Wooyoung’s Kingdom of Sagittarius, when he got Mingi’s message informing him that apparently someone was back from the dead and they needed to meet in person so they could discuss it properly.
Hongjoong looked up at the cloudy sky, as gloomy as his mood. Yugyeom, who was quite pleased with the detour because he needed a break from the castle duties, raised a brow. “Everything alright?”
“Not at all,” Hongjoong smiled helplessly, asking for a pen. He scribbled his location and dared Yeosang to portal himself here since there was a chance he would very well land in the sea.
Yeosang’s reply through Mingi’s fire message came a minute later, a very provocative drawing along with a request to land on their continent- Algieba was the closest. Hongjoong sent an okay, instructing Yugyeom to turn their course west. Yugyeom, who had an affinity for air, helped the ship change its course without much effort. They could already see land so it would only take about an hour.
As soon as he landed at the beach, he sent Yeosang and Mingi the message. Yugyeom brought food from the ship. “Good thing we landed. With this amount of food you wouldn’t last two days.”
Hongjoong passed him a side-eye. “You should have stored more.”
“Who decided to take a detour in the middle of our very planned-out tour to Rukbat?” Yugyeom scoffed, slumping down on the sand and opening the bag which included snacks and everything unhealthy that Hongjoong loved to eat. Hongjoong picked a box of cookies, offering some as an apology and Yugyeom rolled his eyes, laughing.
“I’m probably going to Mingi’s castle. Wanna join me?”
“I should,” Yugyeom nodded. “It’s been a while since I met Wonpil.”
“Ah, yes,” Hongjoong nodded. “You have friends everywhere. Let’s hope we get a ride before we get a heatstroke in the desert.”
Luckily for the two, Mingi had already sent some of his friends that resided in the desert to pick Hongjoong and Yugyeom. The two dozed off the entire ride back, waking up only when they stopped to get a good night’s rest and then the next day, they reached Mingi’s castle, greeted by an unusually grim looking duo.
“At least wear a smile when you greet me!” Hongjoong wailed and the two burst out laughing which was when Hongjoong realised this was an act and he ran forward to smack them. “I swear I will never get a break!”
“You’ll be wearing this grim face soon enough, don’t worry,” Yeosang laughed, dodging a hit to the arm. “Come on. Let’s eat before we lose our appetite.”
Yugyeom took that as a clue to run away. “I don’t wish to lose my appetite. Hongjoong, I’ll be staying here for a day or two before I go back. That okay?”
Everyone gave him a thumbs-up and watched him spot Wonpil and happily run to his old friend. “See?” Hongjoong watched them hug like long lost brothers. “That’s how you greet a friend.”
“Whatever,” Mingi grinned cheekily, ruffling Hongjoong’s ginger hair. “Come along before I drag you there.”
The three avoided discussing anything over dinner, enjoying the carefree bantering and making fun of each other just like everything was normal, to the point where for a moment they forgot all about the trouble they were in.
“I have something to say about this,” Hongjoong began. Yeosang started clapping and Mingi wheezed with laughter. “I haven’t even begun!”
“You’ve said enough,” Yeosang laughed. “You don’t get the right to tell me to stop portalling like this when you literally disappear into the light. At this rate, you’ll find yourself some thousand light years away from us. At least I’ll only be lost in another dimension.”
“It doesn’t work like that-”
“Should I try materialising into fire?” Mingi cackled and Hongjoong rolled his eyes at how Yeosang and Mingi kept trolling him.
“You’ll burn yourself if you ever try that,” Hongjoong commented. “Just because you’re the Prince of Fire doesn’t mean-”
“Yes, Hongjoong, just because you’re the Prince of Light doesn’t mean you get to shine your light of wisdom on us,” Mingi said and the room fell silent before the three started hollering again, Yeosang applauding.
“If you’re done fooling around,” Jae, Mingi’s Right Hand entered, shaking his head in amusement at the young princes. “The chambers are ready, and tea awaits.”
“Ah, yes, time to sleep,” Hongjoong nodded, getting up, hearing one of the two mutter ‘boomer’. “Thank you- and please make sure Yugyeom leaves after two days. Yugyeom and Wonpil shouldn’t be together for too long.”
“Oh, I’ll make sure,” Jae smiled devilishly. “Let’s hope they don’t bring the castle down with their chaos.”
As the three settled in Mingi’s living room, they realised how the gravity of the situation kept nagging at their subconsciousness. Yeosang glanced at the two. “Is it time we finally address the problem?”
“You first,” Hongjoong nodded. 
“I am not sure about what time this took place, but something like necromancy brought someone back from the dead. Apparently a black hole kept moving around in my dimension of spirits, until a while ago it disappeared. I think that’s when someone came back from the dead- but it doesn’t look like they were ‘brought’ back to life. It just… happened. And it burned the soul of a faerie with its magic in a way I’ve never seen or heard of, Hongjoong. Other than that, there are reports of missing faeries throughout Kingdoms of Cancer, Sagittarius and Libra. Throughout that continent only. Apparently some ‘otherworldly’ creatures have been spotted and are said to have come from the blackholes- my spirits tell me that the missing faeries are alive but not in this plane- not in this dimension.”
“I understand,” Hongjoong nodded, his face not giving any indication of what was going on inside his head. “Mingi?”
“I felt it too, I feel it now as well,” Mingi shifted in his chair. “Whatever this magic is, it’s not normal. It’s burning the soul of the possessor, but then… at the same time it’s keeping it alive too.”
“Interesting,” Hongjoong slumped back. “The ‘it’ we are referring to is a faerie of about our age, named Gaeul. She’s in Wooyoung’s Palace right now where San and Jongho are present too.”
“Wow,” Yeosang scoffed. “Why didn’t they inform us?”
“I specifically asked them to report only to me, as I asked you two and everyone else,” Hongjoong said. “I have a theory, and it’s not good. Whatever you both told me, it’s only making my theory more plausible. According to Yunho, he detected something fishy in the ocean about six months ago. He spent days trying to figure out the source but it was like the source kept changing locations.”
“That must be when the black hole shifted to this dimension of reality?” Yeosang asked.
“Seems like it,” Hongjoong nodded. “I don’t know who Gaeul is and what makes her so special, but I believe… according to the memory she thinks she has… Kieran killed her somehow. For such a phenomenon to happen, either he calculated it to the extent that he already knew when Yena would go back in time, or it occurred unintentionally- a big, unfortunate coincidence.”
“But with Kieran, nothing is a coincidence,” Mingi pursed his lips.
“Exactly, but we cannot be too sure right now. Either way, he killed Gaeul and she came back because Yena changed the timeline and somehow, Gaeul’s life was connected to it. If Yena hadn’t changed the timeline, she would have remained dead.”
“But theoretically, like Seonghwa, Gaeul should have just been ‘alive’. How is her situation different from Seonghwa?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out, and we also need to check if the missing faeries are indeed connected to all of this,” Hongjoong sighed. “We need to trace that black hole, Yeosang. And we need… Yunho. Get a good night’s sleep because from tomorrow, we will travel.”
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rubyreduji · 1 year ago
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hello!! happy 3k+1 🤍🤍🤍 i wanna request; what Hogwarts house do svt members fit in (if you have watched Harry Potter) and if you haven't then what can you imagine the members in a regency au setting—? like imagine prince soonyoung, war general seungcheol and northern secluded Duke jihoon???
— join the sleepover!! 🧸️
ah so i have both read and watched harry potter (i had a big phase in middle school) but i tend to not talk about it due to you know...jk rowling and....being trans...so i will do the other one 😀
seungcheol - the strict yet warm duke who is quick to handle issues in his duchy and cares for his people more than anything else
jeonghan - tbh i kinda like jeonghan as the war general?? like i can see him making strategies and plans and using his intelligence in that way
joshua - the most princely of princes
junhui - the handsome, yet elusive royal advisor who everyone has a crush on
soonyoung - he works in a travel circus or smth like i just feel it
wonwoo - he is like the kind library overseer in a royal castle and he's always super nice to the royal children
jihoon - he's an astronomer and people think he's crazy but actually he's the only one with correct theories
seokmin - the silly bard who plays his music and sings in the town square
mingyu - the clumsy guard of the royal family who is super lovable and falls in love with a servant girl who works in the castle
minghao - a stable boy for a wealthy family who the daugther of the family falls in love with
seungkwan - he'd be the cute, young apprentice of a researcher and he'd always have papers falling out of his arms as he did his best to keep up
vernon - a charming farm boy who catches the eyes of girls in town when he's selling crops with his father in the market
chan - the prince's flirty yet goofy best friend who always gets into mischief but never any actual trouble because he's such a smooth talker
idk how regency this is tbh im so sorry but i was 100% only thinking about sofia the first while writing this
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kyeomniscient · 1 year ago
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seventeen ao3 fic recs pt. 3
pt. 1 (completed longer fics)
pt. 2 (completed mid-length fics, <50k words)
pt. 4 (incomplete fics)
compiled a list of shorter fics for those looking for quick reads! all fics here are completed and should be under 10k words, and i'll also be updating this as i go~
in order of descending word count, last updated 02/10/2024
Cowabunga Baby (verkyeom, 10k, completed)
it's a super rare pairing but the fic's really good! actor!dk x lifeguard!hansol dynamics work surprisingly well, and all in all it was a warm and fluffy summer beach romance filled with lots of love and laughs hehe
This Invisible String (Tying You to Me) (seoksoo, 9k, completed)
this might just be my favourite seoksoo fic ever, especially in terms of characterisation bc prince!jisoo x baker!seokmin fits them so well :"") so soft so sweet i loved it
Green (With Leaves) (soonhoon, 9k, completed)
super cute soonhoon fic :) really love it when the mcs have interesting professions and jihoon works at a flower shop in this one! their personalities fit the soonhoon dynamic so well and it was a vv enjoyable read
Sunflower, Vol. 6 (jeongcheol, 9k, completed)
coups is the sweetest here!! and jeonghan is so oblivious it's adorable
splinters of time (wonhui, 7k, completed)
give me a second (to forget i ever really meant it) (wonhoon, 7k, completed)
underrated duo, the softest
red ripe heart (cheolsoo, 7k, completed)
svt in the test kitchen was something i never knew i needed but alas, here we are :") the banter!! the tension!! the innuendoes!! i'd kill to see this actually happen, manifesting this as a gose ep asap
liar liar pants on fire (minwon, 6k, completed)
How to Attract a Bad Boy (The Kind of Guy Who Sucks at Everything) (seoksoo, 6k, completed)
this was hilarious and also joshua is as unhinged here as he is in gose
Back 2 U (AM 01:27) (minwon, 6k, completed)
welps
소나기 (minwon, 6k, completed)
historical au - this reminded me of 'til kingdom come by lightningbend, loved how the class difference played into their dynamics! really cute really wholesome
just as usual (verkwan, 6k, completed)
soft, sweet summer vibes
rites of spring (soonwoo, 6k, completed)
super cute soonwoo high school au! it's a mix of goofiness and tenderness that is so reflective of their dynamics - geguri writes the best soonwoo fics and that is a hill i will die on
treat me well (seokgyu, 5k, completed)
all flowers in time bend towards the sun (soonwoo, 4k, completed)
sweet, brief glimpses of soonwoo moments
enigma (minwon, 4k words, completed)
written by the same author who wrote love stuck! in essence, this was a uni au written for the nerds lmao and i loved it so much... super cute and creative and what better way to ask someone out than to use matrix cryptography?? there is NONE
smoking roses (jeongcheol, 3k, completed)
how op manages to encapsulate the yearning built over 10 years of history so succinctly within 3k words i'll never know
愁 (gyuhan, 3k words, completed)
softly come true (soonhoon, 3k words, completed)
soonyoung trying to mend things with jihoon is the most endearing thing to read ever
it's a date (verhan, 2k words, completed)
super adorable aquarium meet-cute - verhan isn't a common pairing so their dynamics were v refreshing!
sisyphean (soonwoo, 1k words, completed)
super cool fic about necromancy!
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hannie-dul-set · 11 months ago
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— arranged by: member (eldest to youngest) | date (latest to oldest) | type (full-length to drabbles to blurbs) i don’t recommend reading my older works because they’re terrible. still putting them on here for the sake of bookkeeping | last updated: 23.12.18 
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HUMILITY. lucky 7 collab with @haokyeom; humility /(h)yo͞oˈmilədē/ — a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness.
PAIRING. choi seungcheol x reader. GENRE. royal! au, romance, fluff, prince! seungcheol. WARNINGS. none. WORD COUNT. 4.8k.
EVEN IN DEATH. even in death, you’ll never win.
PAIRING. choi seungcheol x reader. GENRE. dystopian! au, angst. WARNINGS. suicide, major character death, swearing. WORD COUNT. 569.
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LUST. lucky 7 collab with @haokyeom; lust /ləst/ — the mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace - romans 8:6.
PAIRING. yoon jeonghan x reader. GENRE. college! au, extremely suggestive, angst. WARNINGS. borderline smut, implied smut, nsfw themes obviously lmao but no actual doing the dirty because i can’t write smut for shit, swearing, jeonghan is the literal devil. WORD COUNT. 4.5k.
[pink bedroom! aesthetic]
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RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. it’s easy to miss things when you’re preoccupied. but sometimes the obvious answer is just simply right in front of you.
PAIRING. joshua hong x reader. GENRE. coffee shop! au, fluff, humor, underlying pining. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 996.
BLANC & NOIR. there’s no plot, just joshua being a devil, really.
PAIRING. joshua hong x reader. GENRE. suggestive, power dynamics. WARNINGS. nswf-ish lol, finger in mouth yes u heard me. WORD COUNT. 634.
[boyfriend! au]
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PRIDE. lucky 7 collab with @haokyeom; pride /prīd/ — it was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels - st. augustine.
PAIRING. kwon soonyoung x reader. GENRE. dystopian! au, angst, suggestive, romance-ish. WARNINGS. major character death, mentions of death, unhealthy relationships, one slightly nsfw scene. WORD COUNT. 3.7k.
[art hoe! aesthetic]
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DILIGENCE. lucky 7 collab with @haokyeom; diligence /ˈdiləjəns/ — thoroughness, completeness, and persistence of an action, particularly in matters of faith.
PAIRING. lee jihoon x reader. GENRE. canon compliant, established relationship! au, comfort fluff. WARNINGS. none. WORD COUNT. 679.
[cottagecore! aesthetic]
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BETWEEN THE AISLES. wherein you discover your feelings for your best friend in between the grocery aisles.
PAIRING. kim mingyu x reader. GENRE. best friends! au, fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 2k.
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HONEYDEW. seokmin smoochies.
PAIRING. lee seokmin x reader. GENRE. tooth rotting fluff. WARNINGS. none. WORD COUNT. 410.
BE CAREFUL. sunset at the beach with seokmin.
PAIRING. lee seokmin x reader. GENRE. summer! au, fluff. WARNINGS. none. WORD COUNT. 461.
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THINGS YOU CAN’T HIDE. seungkwan decides that you’re his best bet to get his annoying friends to finally fuck off.
PAIRING. boo seungkwan x reader. GENRE. college! au, volleyball! au, fake dating! au, fluff. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 2.1k.
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[vernon punk! au] [vernon red movie theatre! aesthetic]
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SEVENTEEN MASTERLIST. © hannie-dul-set.
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animeniacss · 4 months ago
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Seoksoo - imperfect Part 1 - Chapter 15 - It Was Perfect
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Synopsis: Lee Seokmin likes a lot of things: karaoke, stuffed animals, his friends, his family (when they're not at each other's throats), and when things go according to plan. It's perfect that way. That is...until Joshua Hong, the Education Department TA, stumbles into his view one day and suddenly Seokmin has to start facing the fact that maybe not everything in life will be perfect...but with Joshua, that might just be ok.
Tags: College!AU, ActingMajor!Seokmin, Teacher!Joshua, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Side GyuCheol, Side JunHao, Side Verkwan, Other Idol appearances, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Domestic Violence (not between the main couple), Joshua is a dork 90% of the time, (More Tags will be Added as needed)
Length: approx. 9.6k words
Chapter 15 - It Was Perfect
       “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” – James 1:17
Most kids know very little, if anything, about the day they were born. Not Joshua Hong. Born late in the night of December 30th, Joshua was not breathing for a good minute after birth. Doctors tried everything to get him to cry, warming him up in blankets so he wouldn’t turn blue while his parents screamed and begged them to save their child.
The doctors said that the second he took his first breath, the minute his cries mixed with the hysteric sobs of his mother, it began snowing. In Los Angeles.
         It was truly a perfect day, as it would be for any new parents in 1995.
         Joshua Hong knew that before him, his parents went through 4 pregnancy losses in 3 years, and tried in just as many years before that. He was never sure why he was the one God picked to enter the world, but his parents didn’t care. He was their first and only son. Their miracle.
         He was perfect.
         His father would share with every customer in his restaurant the story of his son’s miracle birth, his mother squealing about it on every birthday and in every book club. Joshua was so perfect, they stopped trying for any more kids after that. Why keep going, after so much heartbreak and grief, when the child that made it into their arms was all they ever asked for in the first place?
         It. Was. Perfect.
         Growing up affluent gave Joshua access to everything he could ever want. His room was littered with so many books that he could read by age 2. He was strumming Fischer Price guitars with such artistic rhythm, a real one was given as a gift when he turned five. His parents said he was the reason they started going back to church, their faith in God restored after he came into their lives. Joshua never thought it was a problem. He loved his family; he loved his childhood. It was all perfect. Joshua Hong, only child of a successful restaurant owner and college professor, was perfect. 
Perfect was his favorite word back then. He knew it had 2 syllables and started with the /p/ sound before he could even hold a pencil correctly. He could read the word by age 3, and spell it by age 4.
         Joshua heard his name and ‘perfect’ in the same sentence for most of his life, he thought that they were the exact same word. When he learned that they were in fact not, he was devastated in the way only a four-year-old could be about something so trivial.
         The part of Los Angeles the Hong’s grew up in had few Asian-Americans, much less Korean-Americans. In school, he was the model student – the perfect student – the ever-revered ‘I love how Joshua is being a good example’ student that others should be modeling their behavior after. However, with his intellect and perceptiveness, it didn’t take him long to realize he was different; far beyond the brains tucked away in his skull and the decorum of a prince. 
Even in the LA sun, his skin was paler than the other kids. He spoke two languages while most only spoke one – or one and a half. He didn’t go to school on Chuseok, and he always brought ‘weird’ Korean meals to school. In third grade, the meanest kid in class, Ryan Sharp asked him what stunk in his lunchbox, and got the entire lunch table to scream when he revealed it to be kimchi and rice. It wasn’t perfect to them, it was “disgusting!” to them. So, he told the one person who could help him fix the problem.
         “Can I bring peanut butter and jelly to school tomorrow?”
         He remembered his mom turning around as he completed school work at the table. “Why?”
         “The kids in school tease me when I bring kimchi or bulgogi. I want to just bring peanut butter and jelly.”
         His mother crossed her arms and looked at him. “Joshua Hong. You don’t let those other children tease you like that. They don’t know any better. You should teach them about the food so they know more about it.”
         “I don’t think they’ll listen, Mom.”
         “Then that’s on them.” She said. “You know you’re perfect just as you are, right? Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
         Joshua’s pencil stopped for a second, before nodding. “Yes, Mom.”
In fifth grade, Ryan Sharp got in trouble for saying something about Joshua being the smartest kid in class because he was Asian. Joshua was given a handwritten apology letter, but he knew Ryan didn’t mean it. Joshua didn’t realize that he was playing into a stereotype, he just thought it was because he was perfect. Wasn’t he?
It continued; Joshua being called ‘gay’ because he tried – and failed – to play house at recess with the girls rather than football with the boys. The only time Joshua saw victory was when Ryan got suspended for three days and lost recess for a month after he pushed Joshua in a puddle of mud after a rain storm and ruined his favorite shoes.
         If Joshua’s parents were right, and he was truly perfect, then why did he spend the first 5 years of school being ostracized as the token ‘weird, smart kid?’ Why did the other kids avoid him on the playground? Why were his only friends the ones his mother forced him to sit by at church, and during Sunday school? The older Joshua got, the more he knew that he wanted to be perfect, that he had to be perfect. How could someone like Ryan Sharp torment him if he was perfect in everything? One letter off or not, Joshua would be perfect. 
         The summer before sixth grade, the Hong’s moved closer to the college his mother taught at, and his father had managed to open a second location of his restaurant. The location they settled into had a much higher Asian American population, located right beside the Staples Center. New location; new Joshua; a new chance to be perfect. It was fool proof.
         Joshua’s middle school career was spent at the top of his class. He never missed a test or a quiz, never saw less than a 100 on his papers. He was in every school club you could think of: led the student council, dressed as one of the school mascots in every middle school pep rally, and led the junior debate team to victory for all three years.
         Joshua’s reputation preceded him and left him the subject of many female eyes in the halls. He got the most Valentine’s every year, and he didn’t go to the eighth-grade dance alone. His AIM was filled with less than threes for hearts, and he never knew the pain of a break-up. Boys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be with him. He was living the perfect, ideal, American pre-teen dream.
         At least, that’s what everyone thought.
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The first all-nighter was the night before his 7th grade junior debate meeting. He had a history quiz in the morning, and needed to finish his one-page paper on Bridge to Terabithia. At twelve, time passed in a blur, and he could barely feel the bags under his eyes until his mother pointed them out. He took his daily vitamin, ate breakfast, and was out the door to succeed in all three tasks. The junior debate team saw victory, he got 100 percent on his history quiz, and a 105 on his essay because he added more pages than required. Perfect. All achievements were met with the same three lines:
         “That’s my boy. Do you guys see my boy?!”
         “Isn’t he perfect?”
         “He is our miracle. We’re just so lucky!”
         His parents always had something to tell their friends and family about, and that, to him, was perfect.
         That is, until he started 9th grade and Joshua entered the world of high school. 
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13-year-old Joshua stepped into his geometry class, a sophomore class, his friend Johnny standing at his side. Johnny was a transfer from Chicago, moved right next door to Joshua that summer and the duo became fast friends. “I heard this teacher is really hard. Why didn’t you just take the freshman algebra class?” 
         “Because it’s too easy.” Joshua said simply. Johnny rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you in History. We have the same class, right?”
         “Mhm. And lunch.” He smirked. “I heard Megan’s in our lunch.”
         “Oh?”  Johnny nodded, a smirk on his face. “…Why are you looking at me like that?”
         “She’s had a thing for you like all summer. You need to ask her out.” Joshua was now the one to roll his eyes.
         “It’s 7:30 in the morning. I don’t want to talk about dating this early in the morning.” Johnny snorted, but conceded. “See you later.” Waving Johnny off, Joshua made his way into the first class of the day and nestled into the front seat. 
        He twirled a pencil in his fingers and watched as the rest of the students filed in, waving to some that he recognized from middle school, and saying polite hellos to the ones he didn’t. Just as the first bell rang and teenagers began sprinting to class, Mr. Clark entered, hand rubbing a salt and pepper beard as he set a weathered briefcase down on the front table. Joshua’s eyes darted to the male that slipped in behind him and his eyes widened. He gripped the pencil in his hand so hard he thought it might snap in two.
         Behind Mr. Clark was a stunning male. He was young, most likely in his early twenties, with curly blonde hair and grassy green eyes. Joshua’s eyes caught a mole under his nose that folded under the skin when he smiled. Joshua’s heart felt it was racing a mile a minute as the man stepped into the room, standing at Mr. Clark’s side.
         “This is Mr. Daugherty. He’ll be my student teacher this year. Don’t be an embarrassment.”
         Joshua was fucked. 
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         Mr. Daugherty spent the first quarter simply observing Mr. Clark. Joshua could handle that. As, summer turned to fall, Joshua was able to keep his head buried in his textbook and not worry about the very handsome – no, no, shut the fuck up Joshua – the very not handsome man sitting on the other side of the room, typing away on his computer and occasionally walking among the aisles to help students that asked. Joshua overheard the girls behind him whispering about how handsome he was, and Joshua wanted to slam his face into his desk every time he found himself agreeing.
         “Oh, Joshua.”
         “Huh?!” Joshua’s eyes snapped up to see Mr. Daugherty standing over him, smiling. He was pointing to one of the problems Joshua was working on. “Oh…”
         “You computed this wrong. Do you need help?”
         “No.” Joshua said, maybe a bit too quickly. “No.”
         The blonde looked a bit taken back by Joshua’s response, but hoping to be professional, simply nodded his head with a small smile. “Okay. Holler if you do.” And without another word, Mr. Daughtery was off to check on the next student. Joshua looked down at the math problem, erasing the mistake and fixing it. His eyes darted up to the clock. 30 more minutes to go and Mr. Daughtery was already making his way back up the aisle again.
         Joshua’s Study Hall period that day was spent doing the most important studying of his life. Tucked into the corner of the library, he was hunched over his laptop as he typed ‘Am I gay?’ into the computer search bar. His screen was flooded with Buzzfeed quizzes and YouTube videos titled ’10 Ways to Tell if You’re Gay!!! (NOT clickbait)”. The farther he scrolled, the more the dread sank in. He clicked the quiz.
         Have you ever thought about men romantically?  YES/NO         Have you ever thought about women romantically? YES/NO How does the picture below make you feel?
         “Oh what?!” Joshua slammed the screen of his laptop down when a very explicit photo of a shirtless man on the beach appeared on his screen and made his cheeks explode a very, cherry red. He covered his face, leaning back in his chair. What am I going to do? He thought. This can’t be. It can’t, it can’t, it can’t.
         What will my parents say? They’ll flip out. They’re already pro-abstinence until marriage if I tell them any of this, true or not, they’ll…they’ll….
         “The hell are you doing, Josh?” He sat up from his seat, looking to see Johnny sitting across from him. “Oh. You okay?” Johnny asked. A quick nod and wipe of his eyes was all he could respond with. Staring ahead, he blinked a few times. “Josh…Why are you staring at me?”
             “Johnny, can you drive?”
         “Uh, my dad lets me drive the truck in empty parking lots sometimes. Why?”
         Joshua ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. “Please run me over with it. If it doesn’t kill me the first time, floor it.” Johnny laughed, but immediately saw that his friend was not amused. “I’m serious.”
         “Dude…” Johnny frowned. “Why?” Joshua shook his head.
         “I can’t tell you.” His friend leaned in close, eyes wide. “…What?”
         “You in with the mob or something?” Joshua’s eyes narrowed at him.
         “Are you serious?” He asked. “No!” With a huff, he got up from the library chair and grabbed his bag. Johnny was a man’s man through and through, a bit sarcastic but overall, the definition of what it meant to be a normal, straight man. He’d never understand, and even if he did, Joshua would never say anything. To anyone. “Whatever, forget I said anything, let’s just-.”
         “Hey, Joshua! Johnny!” Joshua’s eyes shot up at the call of his name, seeing a beautiful brunette passing by. Megan O’Rorke, a freshman just like them. A cheerleader, popular, beautiful. She disappeared into one of the nearby aisles with her friends.
         Perfect.
         “Wait here.” Joshua said, before abandoning Johnny. He could hear his friend’s eager cheers of encouragement as he got to the brunette’s side, smiling. “Megan, I have a question for you.”
         Her eyes sparkled almost immediately, stopping in her tracks to turn to him. “Yes?” She asked eagerly. Joshua was silent for a second, blinking a few times. Each time he closed his eyes, Mr. Daughtery looked at him from a different spot in the geometry classroom. That was enough to make him ask.
         “Want to go out Saturday night?”
         Joshua and Megan dated the rest of freshman year. It was enough for Joshua to forget all about Mr. Daughtery, even when he was tasked with taking over the classroom after Christmas break. Joshua felt great, better than ever. His parents were elated to know he had a girlfriend, he was still ranking top of his class in every subject, and he was already in position to run for student council come sophomore year. 
         Everything was perfect. Everything was perfect. Everything was perfect.
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         September of his sophomore year, and things immediately proved they were in fact not perfect. Exhibit A: third period chemistry. Joshua was paired with Marco Rizzo, an Italian-American kid born and raised right in Los Angeles. He was tall, tan, a bit muscular, and a whole year older. He already had his learner’s permit.
         Oh, don’t forget beautiful. Marco Rizzo was beautiful.
         Joshua felt like it would be less painful to drink the solutions they were making in chemistry class, than to stand next to Marco for an entire 45-minute class period. Whatever feelings he thought he had for Mr. Daughterty the year prior were doubled every time Marco reached over him to grab a beaker, or when he brightly laughed at the ‘cute’ purple color they got during an experiment. And the one-time Marco reached over and fixed his safety goggles because Joshua’s hands were already covered with chemicals? He ran to the nurses office feeling like he was going to throw up. He didn’t, but that burning sensation stayed in his stomach for the rest of the week.
         Megan said they had to break-up after their first kiss outside of the movie theatre on her sixteenth birthday. She said that she wasn’t interested anymore, but Joshua was just glad he didn’t have to kiss her again. The kiss was quick, awkward, exactly what one would expect of two teenagers discovering new things about themselves. Joshua, on that day, discovered that kissing girls made him feel disgusting. He took a 45 minute shower when he got home. 
         He responded to the break-up by throwing himself into his studies even harder. He’d yet to see a grade under a 100, and he sure as hell wouldn’t start now. He’d say one quick prayer at his bedside, and flip the computer on. Fingers would fly on the keyboard until the sun's rays poked into view, and Joshua would crawl into bed just long enough to get about an hour of sleep.
         Joshua didn’t start getting chronic headaches until he was 15. He didn’t get his first string of nosebleeds until he was 16. These were mere obstacles; ones Joshua could easily fix with a tissue and few Ibuprofens. The other things were not, however; the thoughts of Marco or Mr. Daughtery, or Taylor Lautner. That one was new, because he caught a trailer for Twilight while scrolling through the TV, and while Johnny commented on how lame it looked, Joshua couldn’t help ogle the shirtless, ripped actor turning into a werewolf before his eyes.
         He was in deep.
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         Joshua dated another girl three months after he and Megan broke up. Krystal, another beautiful cheerleader who he met at church camp. The duo met before his sophomore year, her junior year, and remained good friends through school. Krystal asked him out during their shared gym class, and Joshua almost sounded desperate when he said yes.
         Krystal was nice, but she wasn’t as much of a distraction to Joshua’s problem as Megan was the year prior. Maybe it was because Marco was closer to him more often, maybe it was because Marco approached him in the halls between classes. Maybe it was because when Marco eyed him up and down, Joshua could read it as an attempt to flirt.
         Marco asked to come to Joshua’s house one weekend to study for a test. Joshua couldn’t tell if he was terrified or not, but his parents were so excited to know their perfect son was bringing home a friend, he couldn’t help but say yes. When Marco arrived at his front door with his bookbag and a plastic baggie of chips from the gas station that he knew Joshua liked, Joshua had to plant his feet firmly on the floor so he wouldn’t jump forward and just kiss him.
         “Cool room.” Marco’s eyes fell to the collection of debate team awards and honor roll certificates lining the wall above his desk. He whistled. “Wow. Smarty pants, hm?” Joshua chuckled a bit because speaking felt scary. “I’m glad you’re my partner, then. We’re going to ace this test!” Marco grinned at him, and something in Joshua’s chest short circuited. “Ready?”
         Marco sat up against the foot of Joshua’s bed, Joshua sitting directly across from him. They both were reading through their textbook, taking turns reading definitions aloud that they assumed would be included in the test.
         “You’re so smart, Joshua.” Marco beamed up at him. “I wish I was half as smart as you.”
         Joshua smiled. “You’re smart, don’t say that. You’re good at the hands-on stuff I’m not good at.” Marco’s grin turned into a playful smirk that made Joshua only force his smile more. “You’re disgusting.”
         Marco only responded with a shrug, before reading the next chemistry question aloud. The duo went back and forth like this for about thirty minutes, before the two of them got side tracked chatting about whatever came to their minds. Their textbooks had long since been discarded to the other side of the bed, their focus on one another as they chatted. “You’ve never been to Italy?” Joshua’s eyes widened. Marco shook his head. “I went when I was 8 and I’m not even Italian!”
         Marco laughed; a loud roar of a laugh that made Joshua feel a weird calmness despite how much it reverberated against the walls of his room. “Alright, Richie Rich. No need to rub it in my face!”
         “I’m not!” He gasped. “I’m just surprised.”
         “Well, if you’re so surprised, then next time you go to Italy, take me.” Joshua’s smile immediately fell, eyebrows furrowed.
         “What?” He asked. Marco suddenly looked serious, almost nervous, and that feeling paralleled Joshua's expression. “Heh, I mean, I’d…I’d have to ask my parents, but-.”
         Joshua didn’t get to finish before Marco leaned forward and planted one, big kiss on his lips. Joshua’s entire world came crashing down in one action. He couldn’t move, his entire body frozen solid as he stared ahead. He couldn’t even divert his eyes, he was stuck staring at Marco’s eyes, which were squeezed shut in nerves. He pulled back a second later, and Joshua immediately covered his mouth. His hands were shaking, eyes wide as he stared at the Italian-American across from him. It only took a second for Marco to realize what happened, his face carrying a similar look of panic.
         “Wh….I’m sorry! Are you not? Oh fuck.” He looked around. Joshua couldn’t even speak, stunned to absolute silence as Marco hopped off his bed and scrambled for his bag. “Sorry! Sorry, sorry. I’ll go. I’ll just-.” Before he could exit the room, Joshua’s mom stepped in, a little tray of peeled and sliced oranges in her hands.
         “Hope you two are hungry, because I brought-.” Her smile immediately fell when she saw the distressed boys before her. Joshua immediately turned his entire body from his mother. “Is everything okay?”
         “Yeah.” Looking like a deer caught in headlights, Marco said. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hong. I need to go. Thank you for having me.”
         “O…okay.” Mrs. Hong watched the teen head out the door. “Come back soon, okay?” She turned to Joshua, staring at his back. “Honey? You okay?”
         “Yeah.” Joshua coughed out, sitting up right. “Perfect, Mom.”
         Marco stopped talking to Joshua outside of class after that, which hurt him more than he expected.
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         “It’s because you’re gay, isn’t it?” Krystal and Joshua were sitting outside during the last week of school that year, one of their preferred dates once the weather got nicer. 
         Joshua almost choked on his soda, eyes widening at the girl across from him. “W-what? No!”
         Krystal smiled a bit. “Really?”
         “Really.”
         “Then why are we breaking up? You know I’ll see you at camp all summer, right?”
         “I just-.” Joshua paused. “I just don’t want to date this summer. It’s nothing against you.”
         Krystal nodded, still unable to hide the smile on her lips. It made Joshua feel like he was being interrogated at the police department.
         “Joshua, hun.” Krystal leaned forward on her elbows. “It’s okay if you’re into guys, you know that right?”
         “I’m not.” Joshua said.
         “I see how you look at Marco.” Hearing the name made Joshua’s heart feel as if it had fully stopped beating, the expression on his face only making Krystal’s grin widen. “See? Told you. You’re down bad for him.”
         “I am not!” Joshua slammed his hands on the table. The force of the wood shaking made Krystal sit upright. Joshua immediately rubbed his hands together, the stinging traveling up to his elbows. “Stop….”
         “I’m sorry.” She said softly. A pause before she stood up. “Either way, no hard feelings.” she smiled. “I’ll see you at camp. We’ll have another fun year. Okay?”
         “Okay…” Joshua said as she left the picnic table, leaving him alone with two stinging, red hands and a set of tears threatening to escape his eyes.
         He told his mother that he and Krystal broke up that night over dinner, and she was just as devastated as she was with Megan, if not more.
         “She was such a nice girl, too.”
         “I know.” Joshua pushed the rice in his bowl. His mother leaned across the table, gently smoothing out her son’s hair. He smiled up at her, almost leaning into the gentle touch.
         “I’m so sorry, honey.” She cooed gently.
         “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be okay.” He assured.
         “It’s okay to be a bit upset about it, Josh.” His father grinned behind the rim of his soju glass. 
         “I know.”
         “Don’t worry, Joshua.” His mother said gently. “You’ll find a nice girl one day. She’s out there somewhere.” Joshua gripped the chopsticks in his hands. He felt like his lips were on fire, the feeling of being kissed by someone as beautiful and as kind as Marco Rizzo still haunting him months later. 
         He shoved the next bite of rice in his mouth so he didn’t have to say ‘Yes, Mom’ this time. He just might start crying if he had to utter yet another lie at the dinner table.
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         Joshua spent the rest of his junior year similarly to how he spent the prior two; dating girls in short periods in the hopes of ignoring the intense feelings he had for the new boy that walked into his life. This year, it was senior Christian Jones, one of the track and field members. A known gym rat whose locker ended up being right next to Joshua’s in gym class that year. Nothing exciting came of that because he was dating Tiffany, a beautiful senior and lead singer in the school choir. Joshua could only watch from afar until his feelings fizzled out at junior prom. That was the easiest of all four years. 
Senior year it was Kyle Davis, who sat next to him in Study Hall. He always offered Joshua a piece of gum and said his eyes were really pretty. Kyle had jet-black hair, cut short just like he did, and striking blue eyes that Joshua thought about long after the duo parted each day for class. He was also open about being gay. Throughout the year, Joshua found comfort in Kyle that went beyond simple attraction, but infatuation with Kyle and everything about him. During Study Hall, Kyle would talk to him about the latest episode of this show, RuPaul’s Drag Race, beaming each week during the fifth season’s run when Jinx Monsoon slayed, and crying when Ivy Winters was eliminated. Joshua had no idea what he was talking about, but he would listen to Kyle count sheep hopping over a fence if it meant he could stare at those beautiful blue eyes for another few minutes. 
Being himself around Kyle Davis never felt forced or scary. It felt good. There were no expectations with him, only moments. Joshua spent nights at his house binging all past seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race, admiring the confidence the contestants had in themselves and their sexuality. Because of their friendship, Joshua rekindled with Marco, the group becoming a close knit trio. 
Kyle never asked if Joshua was gay, but it felt like he knew. The way he so subtly pointed out handsome men in the crowd when they people watched at the park, the way he always kept a close seat, yet never crossed any boundaries. He dubbed himself the “Gay Yoda”, a guru that Joshua felt safe with. 
Joshua loved his parents, and his church, and his friends, but the love that bubbled in his chest for Kyle was one that was vastly different. It was beautiful, it was the one thing about the entire journey that Joshua felt was perfect.
         “Are you going to prom?” Kyle asked, passing over his gum pack. Joshua leaned forward and took one. “I mean, I figured you probably will, right? You’re practically guaranteed Prom King.” 
         Joshua snorted as he popped the gum into his mouth. “Am not.”
         “Hong: Humble and Handsome.” Kyle cooed. “That’ll be on your tombstone, bestie~.” Joshua rolled his eyes as he typed away at his computer. “But seriously, are you going?”  
         “Are you?”
         “Uh, duh. I have the cutest maroon tuxedo that I got on sale, and the world needs to see me in it before I die.” Joshua chuckled, nodding his head. “I’m only asking because we should go together.” Joshua’s fingers stopped typing as he looked up at Kyle, who only smiled wider. “Don’t worry, it’s not a promposal or anything. I wouldn’t be that dramatic.”
         “Yes, you totally would.” Joshua corrected. Going to prom with Kyle would be a beautiful nightmare, one he wanted to agree to so badly because he wanted to give him a corsage and flowers and tell him Kyle looked beautiful in the maroon suit because he knew it was going to be true.
         “I’m saying we should go as friends. Who are you taking?” Joshua shrugged.
         “No idea.”
         “What about Krystal? Don’t you still talk to her?”
         Joshua had told Kyle about his high school girlfriends and how they all managed to end one way or another. Krystal and Joshua had stayed pretty good friends at church camp even after their break-up. “She’s a freshman in college. Why would she want to go to some senior prom?”
         “Because she won’t expect anything from you.” Joshua didn’t have time to respond before the bell rang, and Kyle waved him off before heading to his next class.
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         It was already 4am the next morning, but Joshua wasn’t studying. Finals had come and gone, and he had secured, to the ever-growing praise of his parents and friends, the spot as valedictorian for the graduating class of 2014. With a full ride to college in his back pocket, for the first time in his school career, he could relax.
         Well, he thought he could. But contrary to the ever-prevalent ‘perfect’, ‘relax’ seems to be the one word that never stayed in his mental dictionary. Tucked away in the corner of his closet, hands gripping the shiny, new iPhone he was given for graduation, Joshua was frantic. His parents had long since turned in, leaving him to sob via FaceTime to the one person he knew he could rely on: Yoon Jeonghan. Being midday in Korea, Joshua always knew he was a safe bet when he needed someone to talk to late at night. 
         “Jeonghan, what am I going to do?” he sobbed, resting his head against the wall. “I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t.”
         “Joshuji, relax.” Jeonghan soothed gently. They had been on the phone for forty-five minutes already as he listened to his friend’s troubles. “Why don’t you just go with him and say it’s a friend’s thing?”
         “My parents want me to take a girl. They’ll be so disappointed if their only son doesn’t go to his last prom of high school without a date! Everyone thinks I’m going to ask a girl! If I don’t, I’m basically wearing a sign around my neck saying ‘I’m into guys, I’ve fooled you all!’”
         “As long as it matches the suit, I think it’ll be okay.” Jeonghan teased.
         “You’re not helping!” Joshua sobbed, his head falling into his knees. “I can’t do it anymore; I just can’t handle this anymore. Any of it…I want this to be over.”
         “School?”
         “Everything.” He sniffled. “I want everything to be over. I can’t be around to disappoint anyone if I’m not around at all.”
         “Hong Jisoo!” The sound of his Korean name made him lift his head up to see Jeonghan glaring at him. “Don’t talk like that! Do you know how many lives would be different if you weren’t in them at this very moment?! Your parents, Kyle’s, Johnny’s, mine?”
         The duo sat in silence because Joshua didn’t know what else to say. It was a long, painful silence. Finally, Joshua choked up. “I’m so hopelessly in love with him and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m terrified….”
         “I know.” Jeonghan said. “Just think, the year will be over soon and you’ll be on a flight to see me for the summer. We will have the best summer ever! Then, when you are ready to go back for college, we can figure out your feelings together, okay?”
         “Okay.” Joshua hummed. Eventually ending the call with a reassuring sendoff, Joshua let silence overtake him. He leaned against his perfectly organized church clothes for another long minute and let out a defeated sign. The sun was already rising, bleeding in through the window, as he pulled out his phone to text Krystal, asking her to be his date to the senior prom.
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         Prom pictures included himself, Krystal, Johnny, his date, and Kyle posing all over Joshua’s large house. Their parents made it a whole thing, Joshua’s mother crying at how handsome he looked. How perfect he looked and what a respectable young man he had grown up to be. Joshua felt nauseous the entire time, keeping his gaze anywhere but in Kyle’s direction because he knew if he stared too long, his mother would snap a picture where he had hearts in his eyes.
         Krystal’s popularity in high school meant she had more than enough friends in the senior class to mingle with, Joshua not minding one bit. Most of the night was great, chatting up friends, taking photos and dancing. This was the last time for them to let loose like this in school. After this year, everyone was going to travel their own paths, breaking apart as they discovered what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives.
Joshua’s path had been predetermined since before he knew the word ‘perfect’; go to college with an academic scholarship, excel in both grades and extracurriculars, and graduate top of his class with a job offer in any school district he wanted. It was easy, it was predictable, it was safe. 
         When Kyle pulled him to the dance floor as ‘Let Me Love You’ by Ne-Yo blasted on the dance floor, Joshua knew that there was a massive wrench thrown in his plans. He had spent the past 4 years trying so hard to ignore said wrench, to allow for his carefully crafted plans to play out without issue. However, each time he tried to bury the wrench and forget it existed, it would unearth itself and  barrel back into view like a vicious boomerang. 
         By the end of the night, Joshua was standing outside the venue, getting some much needed air after being bombarded by friends congratulating him for his expected – and according to Krystal, deserved - Prom King win. He only got to enjoy the quiet for a few minutes before Kyle appeared behind him.
         “Hey, King.” He smirked. “Did I call it or what?”
         “Yeah, yeah. You probably rigged the vote.”
         “I may have.” A teasing grin formed on his face. He stood at Joshua’s side and the duo fell into a comfortable silence. Joshua felt his heart pumping in his chest, picking at his fingernails in an attempt to keep his hands, eyes, and mind distracted. Finally, Kyle spoke up. “You know you’ll always be one of my best friends, right?” 
Joshua hummed. “Yeah. You too.” 
Kyle nodded his head. “I want to ask you something kind of personal.” Joshua’s hands paused their skin picking and he looked over. “...I never wanted to ask, because you always looked nervous about it, but…” blue eyes that sparkled even brighter under the stars fell in his direction. “Joshua, are you gay?”
         Joshua looked back at him. He licked his lips. “N-.” A deep breath. “I don’t know…I think so.”
         “How long have you ‘thought so’?” 
“Probably freshman year…”
Kyle smiled, almost sadly, Joshua noticed. “It was a lot for me to come to terms with, too. There’s a lot of things you need to think about. I was terrified to tell my parents.” 
         “Your parents are cool, though.” Joshua looked down at his fingers again. Another moment of silence, before Kyle stepped closer to Joshua. He finally looked back up, noticing the distance between them get smaller. “…Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked softly.
         Kyle shrugged. “I know I said it was hard for me to come to terms with but I’m happier now than I was when I was 13, sneaking around at school and telling my grandma at Thanksgiving that I had a girlfriend from Canada or something.” Joshua chuckled a bit under his breath. “Everyone has their own experience. You’ll find out how you fit into everything at your own pace.”
         “I wish it was that easy…” he said softly. Kyle poked his cheek, and when Joshua turned his head to look at him, he asked:
“Can I kiss you?” Joshua paused for only a second. “I’ve always tried to find the perfect time to ask so…” Joshua smiled, giving a nod of his head. 
“Okay…” With a beaming grin, Kyle leaned in and planted one very quick kiss on his lips. Joshua felt him pull back, but he didn’t get far before Joshua grabbed him by the tie of his suit and eyed him up and down. “That suit really does look good on you.” He said. Kyle grinned as he quickly leaned into another kiss. Things were finally looking up just a bit. 
       The summer after, while Joshua was in South Korea, Kyle moved across the country for college. The duo still kept in touch over the phone and on social media. Kyle is still saved in Joshua’s phone as ‘Your Gay Yoda’, and Joshua will dare not change it for as long as he lives and breathes on this earth. But their relationship never really went farther than catching up during the summer when Kyle returned home, and Joshua had to tell himself that it was perfect, whether he liked it or not.
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         Joshua attended college two hours away from home, hoping the distance between himself and his parents would help ease some of his worries. It did; sort of. He could stare at other men who had yet to know him and offer a few attempts at flirting without worrying that it would get to his mom through the church book club. He managed to room with the one person he knew from high school, but he was out so often chasing girls and going to parties that Joshua basically roomed alone. That was fine by him.
         College, at first, was uneventful. Late-night study sessions at the library, working weekends at a tutoring center for children off campus, and attending tons of school events. One, in particular, made his entire world flip upside down. When he attended a mid-semester fall festival and met the very handsome Liberal Arts major that was Kim Taehyung.
         How does one describe Kim Taehyung? Kim Taehyung has a boxy smile, beautiful skin, and a deep voice that makes Joshua tremble every time he hears it. The duo became fast friends, and Joshua developed feelings even faster. However, he kept them tucked away in the farthest part of his brain. Taehyung was the first real friend he made on campus, and he had no intention of letting feelings come between them. They also shared the same birthday, down to the year and date. When Joshua and Taehyung found this out, Taehyung was tickled about finding his ‘hot birthday twin’. The word ‘hot’ seared itself into Joshua’s skull, but he only laughed along. 
When December 30th finally rolled around, and Taehyung suggested that they celebrate properly, Joshua didn’t need to read too deep into the lustful gaze Taehyung gave him from the other side of the dorm room, or the way his voice practically growled into the words. He knew exactly what was being offered. 
         His 19th birthday was, without question, the best one of his life. Even though he may have cried about it when all was said and done.
         All of Joshua’s previous notions about sex being “sacred” and “only for after marriage” went out the window at the first promise of freedom and self-expression. Joshua and Taehyung managed a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship through the first two years of college. Joshua would take girls home to his parents, but always return to Taehyung’s dorm the second he got back to campus. The only time he didn’t see Taehyung was during midterms and finals because he locked himself into his room much as he always did, forgoing sleep, food, and even sex. If he was going to disappoint his parents in the shadows, he had to make them proud in the daylight. But when exams were over, and Joshua finally allowed himself to breathe, he found himself running off with Taehyung, somewhere that they could be alone. 
         But over time, it wasn’t just Taehyung. It was anyone he could get his hands on. At college parties, Joshua found someone new to sneak back into his dorm. Late nights were no longer filled with blurs of textbooks, but blurs of faces Joshua couldn’t remember when he woke up the next morning. He would lie in his bed, listening to the clock tick away painfully slow before he forced himself out of bed, packed foundation under his eyes, downed a cup of coffee and an Ibuprofen – two depending on how the night went – and made his way out of the dorm with a smile plastered on his face. He was good at the double life. It was easy, it felt almost natural.
         It was painful. Every day felt like he was running, looking over his shoulder in fear of being caught. He needed to get far enough away from LA, from the crushing weight of his parent’s eyes. Even with two hours of distance, it took one car ride and they’d be at his door, and who knows what they’d see. Joshua couldn’t handle it. He needed to get farther.
         He needed to hop on a plane.
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         Joshua moved to Korea the summer before his junior year started. Inspired by one of his family’s yearly trips to South Korea, where he spent a few days teaching eager six-year-olds how to say “My name is” in English. He left that trip knowing exactly what he wanted to do.
In a new space, Joshua needed time to adjust. He settled into Jeonghan’s apartment and began attending school, keeping his head low the first year, managing his good grades the only way he knew how: Ibuprofen and coffee. His reputation as the overachieving newbie snagged him a job as TA for Professor Moon his senior year. The bar of expectation was one Joshua could meet easily, even if he had to stay up for three straight nights practicing his high jump. In Korea, he felt free from the watchful eye of his parents, far enough away to figure things out for himself without worrying about bringing anyone home and putting on any shows. Things were finally starting to feel normal once again. 
         Then Lee Seokmin was seen staring at him in front of the quad in the fall of his senior year.
         Joshua caught the awkward brunette staring at him while he was ending a phone call with his mother, watching him full sprint back inside when they made eye contact. The nameless individual disappeared within the crowd of students before he could even step back inside. There wasn’t enough time to go searching for him now, despite how curious he was. Chalking it up to a cute encounter, Joshua made his way towards his next class.
         That wasn’t the last time Joshua had seen Lee Seokmin, in fact, the encounters only doubled. He was friends with students in the classes he worked for, and lived a few blocks away from his most frequented convenience store. Very few art pieces in all of the museums Joshua has been to in his life compared to the side profile of this brunette on campus. Joshua felt the breath hitch in his throat when Seokmin opened his mouth to talk, fumbling over his words when realizing he bought the last of the chicken ramen in the store. He felt fireworks going off in his entire body whenever Seokmin took his hand, the feeling remaining even after the both of them parted. 
         Lee Seokmin drove Joshua’s mind into a frenzy. He didn’t realize how hard someone could fall for another person after only meeting them a handful of times, but he couldn’t get Seokmin out of his mind. Sentences in his textbooks melted into questions Seokmin asked him that day, that toothy grin etched so deeply into his brain that even the toughest of diagrams couldn’t break through. Joshua had to hold himself back from doodling the guy’s name on someone’s essay! When Joshua heard Seokmin laugh, it felt like a sin not to smile back because he was just so damn beautiful and contagious. Joshua wanted to be around Seokmin all the time. 
         So, when he offered to help prepare Seokmin’s lines for the auditions, he meant it. It came with a problem, however. How would move his busy midterm study schedule to accommodate a few hours of freedom? He eyed his calendar for any little spot, any opening that he could squeeze Seokmin into because he wanted to see him so badly. Guess I’ll start my all-nighter’s a bit earlier this term.
         “Sunday evening. I can hang out Sunday evening, I’ll make it work.”
         Seokmin looked shocked, but a glimmer of excitement in his eyes was enough to cement the offer. “Are you sure?”
         “As long as it’s not too late, yes, I’m sure.” And it was set.
         The night before seeing Seokmin, Joshua stayed up the entire time, working to make sure he wouldn’t fall behind in his work for Professor Moon or in his classes. From 10 p.m. to 10 a.m., he lived on coffee and adrenaline much as he always did, a tissue discarded from the nosebleed he had to tend to from 2-2:30. No big deal, just another obstacle.
         At 5 that morning, however, after sending a confirmation text to Seokmin, Joshua sat on the couch to relax and didn’t remember anything else. The next thing he remembered was Jeonghan shaking him awake, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Joshua’s eyes snapped open and he sat up.
         “What time is it?” he gasped, eyes still glazed over as he woke up.
         “5,” Jeonghan said. “Didn’t you have somewhere to be?” Joshua’s paled.
         “Oh, fuck.” Hopping off the couch, Joshua hurried into his room to throw on the first few things he could find in his closet and took off out the door. Seokmin forgave him that time, he was lucky. But it didn’t stop there. Joshua was going to head to Seokmin’s audition when Professor Moon pulled him aside, asking him to get a head start on creating a test for the next unit. Joshua was able to create a fleshed-out and comprehensive test in under an hour. Not a problem, right?
         Joshua sat down in the back of the lecture hall to get to work, and he didn’t remember anything else. All he remembers is blinking a few extra times and realizing he was still sitting in front of the computer. While the test was finished, auditions had already been going on for about an hour. Joshua found himself racing across campus, head pounding from the intense stare he must have given the screen. But he was still too late.
         Joshua was unable to be the perfect anything to Seokmin. He could only play the part so much, gentle smiles and warm embraces to keep Seokmin at his side. But in reality, he was floundering and he didn’t know what to do about it. It would only be a matter of time before Seokmin was the one to call him out on his facade. He would rip the perfect mask off, stomp it under his heel, and storm away, leaving Joshua alone and imperfect.
         Despite this, however, Seokmin still stayed by Joshua’s side. He still smiled when Joshua complimented him, and he still blushed when the duo bumped elbows. It was perfect, he was perfect. Joshua almost envied how perfect Lee Seokmin was. It hurt Joshua even more knowing he caused Seokmin so much pain in only a few months.
         Seokmin had just come to see Joshua during one of his discussions, shy but smiling just as he always was. Joshua’s heart was in a vice grip. He’d popped an Ibuprofen to hopefully soothe the throbbing in his brain. Seeing the smile he’d grown to adore fall from Seokmin’s face, hurt worse than any headache he’d ever experienced. 
In hopes of soothing his brain, Joshua had convinced Jeonghan to sit and make bracelets together with him. They’d been at it for an hour, and so far, no luck, his mind still racing with a million and one thoughts.  They worked in silence for a long time, before Joshua finally paused his work on the bracelet. “He’s too good for me, Jeonghan. I don’t deserve him.”
Jeonghan was silent for a long time, stringing a few random colors onto the cord in his grip. He turned to Joshua and said: “Joshua, that’s not true.” Eyes softening, Jeonghan shifted in his seat and looked at the younger of the two. “We’re at that point in our lives where relationships are going to get harder. Being in a relationship is supposed to make life enjoyable, not painful. You need balance.” When Joshua didn’t reply, Jeonghan continued: “But you won’t get balance, in a relationship or anything, if you keep this whole studying nonsense up while trying to manage a relationship.”
Joshua glanced over. “I….” He sighed. “I know.” 
Jeonghan leaned forward. “Where do you see yourself in the future?”
The question left him speechless. He was no longer standing on the same race track he had in the past. Joshua could push all he wanted, but the finish line in this long and painful race was no longer in his sights. “Teaching.” That was all he could say. “Like I’ve always planned.” 
“Not with Seokmin?” 
“That too.” he added. “I would hope…” 
Jeonghan hummed. “Well, when I look at you, I see a really successful teacher. One who changes lives and makes an impact.” Joshua smiled a bit. “Want to know what I don’t see?” He scooted closer, plucking the bead from his friend's fingers, only to use it on his own. Joshua pouted. “I don’t see someone whose path in life will crumble at his feet just because of a point or two off a test, or a missing homework assignment. But you don’t let yourself have that break, that’s why you’re at this crossroads with Seokmin. You want to be perfect in to many areas. You need that balance, need to discard some of the burden.”
Joshua felt his eyes sting; with a sigh, he leaned back against the chair. “Jeonghan…” his voice was trembling.  “It sounds so easy when you say it that way…I wish I could say it that easily…”
Jeonghan hummed. “Let me do it for now, then…I’ll carry that burden until it isn’t a burden anymore.” Jeonghan offered. “And if I’m not around to say it, then Seokmin will take my place, no question. He wants to be in your life. I can see how much he means to you. And I can see how much you mean to him. He’s crazy about you, Joshua….”
“You think?” Joshua asked, feeling the cracks in his heart mend just a bit. Jeonghan smiled. 
“But before you can handle any of that, you need to take a good look at yourself and decide what you need to have in your life to be happy.” He nestled himself up to Joshua and flashed a playful grin. “I’ll get you started. Number one: me. You’re stuck with me forever.” Joshua, for the first time since sitting down to make the bracelets, felt his nose crinkle and a genuine laugh escape his lips. 
         After his talk with Jeonghan, Joshua was trying to focus on his studies, on his discussions, on himself, but he couldn’t. The entire time he was thinking of Seokmin, of just how upset he must feel. Most of his late nights were spent just staring at his screen, eyes bloodshot and strained. He could barely close his eyes without his head falling heavy onto the desk, the contact of his skull and the wood snapping him awake for another few hours. It went on for weeks; he stayed home from school because it felt as if his body was glued to his desk chair. If he was going to be a disappointment to Seokmin in the shadows, he needed to be a respectable student in the daylight. There needed to be some gain if he was at risk of losing so much. 
         The day Seokmin visited, Joshua could barely feel the things around him. His fingers could barely type, and his eyes could barely focus. Coffee wasn’t enough, and he had only managed to sleep for an hour before his body woke up in a cold sweat and a panic. However, when Seokmin was staring at him through his door frame, Joshua felt a light switch in his body trying desperately to flick on. He tried to look presentable for him, to smile for him, and listen to whatever it was he came over to say. He could barely register any string of words, but he knew he wanted to hear it. A few Ibuprofens and a vocalized plea for them to kill him were just enough to keep him grounded so Seokmin could speak.       
         He didn’t expect the nosebleed, however. Or to stagger into the bathroom and stare at his reflection. He didn’t expect to see two of himself in the bathroom mirror, or for his legs to buckle when he tried to turn back around and head into the living room. He also didn’t expect to fall over and for everything to turn dark for a few minutes. But at least he was finally able to sleep.
The only thing he remembers is opening his eyes just barely, feeling something cold on his forehead. His eyes were blurry, and the ringing in his ears made it feel as though they would burst any moment. He could hear very faint speaking, but he could barely make out who was sitting beside him. It felt like he was looking through a kaleidoscope. 
         “Hit his head….yes….it’s unlocked….he has a…..and a….okay…. hurry.”
         And he doesn’t remember much else.
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         It felt as if someone was pounding a hammer in Joshua’s skull, right between the eyes. He groaned, unsuccessful at squeezing the throbbing sensation out through his ears. As his body began waking up, he felt a sting in his arm. His head lolled to the side, where he saw a large tube leading up to an IV bag. When he opened his mouth, it was incredibly dry, and he wasn’t able to speak until he licked his lips and swallowed a few times.
         Joshua sat up in bed, looking down at the needle in his arm connected to the IV. His eyes scanned the room he was in, a single-person hospital room. The sun was barely poking from behind the skyscrapers that surrounded them, spilling into the little couch on the other end of the room. When his hand went up to his head, he felt something soft. Turning to the nearest mirror, a large white bandage was wrapped around his forehead. His nose wasn’t bleeding anymore. That’s a plus. “What the hell happened?”
         Shifting in bed was harder to do than expected; the throbbing in his head felt as if the hammer had been replaced with a chainsaw. Great. Just perfect. He thought to himself. Searching for a call button led Joshua’s eyes to land on something else, something that made his breath hitch and his brain start rewinding the tapes in his head of how he ended up here.
         On the other side of his bed, closer to the skyline view, Seokmin had his head resting on the bed. His eyes were closed tight as if to fight back against whatever nightmare was plaguing him. Joshua immediately leaned forward and pressed a hand gently into Seokmin’s hair. Fingers threaded gently among Seokmin’s locks, and within minutes, the twisted, pained look on Seokmin’s face began to soften. He finally began sleeping with a content look etched into each one of his perfect features. Joshua smiled a bit.
         It was still early; a nurse wouldn’t come to the room for another few hours. So, Joshua passed the time in silence, his hand tangled in Seokmin’s soft locks long after he had found peace in his dreams.
         Joshua Hong, the man whose name was always melded within ‘perfect’ to the point he thought they were the same word, had a thought cross his mind.
         Joshua spent his entire life trying to embody the word ‘perfect’, while Lee Seokmin filled the role naturally. Joshua wanted to be jealous, but as he looked at the sleeping man at his bedside, he could only hope that the word hadn’t wormed its way into Seokmin’s life and forced him to maintain such high expectations, as it did for Joshua. He wanted better for Seokmin.
Seokmin was like an open book, one Joshua wanted to keep reading over and over again, keeping note of each of his favorite parts to reference back to later. He wanted to find all of Seokmin’s deeper meanings and his ideals. Cover to cover, Joshua wanted to understand the entire story that was Lee Seokmin.
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craby-bouquet · 4 months ago
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When in Rome... {CH-Seokmin}
~part 3~
Lee Seokmin x Reader
Romance, Royal!AU
1.2k words
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You took your bag from the overhead storage hurriedly. What was it about airplanes and feeling rushed? The small hallway was jammed with people wanting to get out and you did not want to be the one to keep them all. 
The airport in Wraya was small compared to the one in Dres Van, where you used to live and work. Dres Van was known for its fashion, so it was the place to be as an upcoming fashion designer. 
You waited for your 2 suitcases at the baggage carousel and followed the signs to the exit. You were slightly surprised to see a gorgeous black car waiting with someone holding up a sign with your name on it. The man introduced himself as Reginald, the princes’ driver. Prince Seokmin had sent him specifically to pick you up because: “only the best for my new designer” Reginald supposedly quoted. 
He took all your bags from you and loaded them into the trunk, he seemed to get slightly offended when you offered to help. You wouldn't know what it was like to be a princess, but you felt like one right now. A driver, a beautiful car, everything being done for you. 
The drive wasn't very long. You'd almost argue that the longest part of the drive was the driveway to the castle, which was a gorgeous, ancient looking building. Even though Wraya was one of the smallest countries of Pledis, it was also one of the oldest, and its royal castle reflected that. You drove past the front entrance to the side of the building. From here you could see the newest part of this historic building, which looked a little strange. Such an old building connected to a very modern building. But it felt right, in a weird way. 
Reginald stopped close to the staff entrance, taking your bags out of the trunk. He told you to wait for someone to pick you up and then drove away. 
You looked at the sun drained garden, trying to drown your nerves in wonder.
“Hello,” someone said softly.
It startled you slightly, making you turn around swiftly. To your surprise you stood face to face with the brightly smiling prince Seokmin.
You remembered to curtsy, then doubted yourself. Were you supposed to curtsy? How did you greet a prince?
“Your highness,” You greeted. Was that a proper greeting? “Hello.” you followed up, just to be sure. Suddenly you felt self conscious. You were aware of everything about yourself. If you had known the prince would have been here to greet you, you would have worn something different, maybe re-done your makeup in the airport bathroom.
“I almost introduced myself to you just now, that would have been awkward considering we've already been introduced before!” The prince laughed and smiled a bright smile.
You couldn't help but chuckle.
“If I has known your highness was going to greet me at the car, I would have worn something more appropriate.” You decided that as his new clothing designer, you should address your baggy, wrinkled pants and oversized t-shirt.
He waved with his hand, “No worries. You look perfect. And you weren't the only one who wasn't aware I would be escorting you, so let's hurry slightly before James gets here.” He winked, but you were fairly sure he wasn't actually joking. 
Before you could do or say anything, the prince had taken both your suitcases, and walked off at high speed. He baffled you, you stood there, frozen in place, for a few seconds before charging after him.
"Your highness! Your highness, please! Are you sure you should be taking my bags?” As you caught up with him you could see he was smirking.
“Of course! It's rude to not offer your guests help with their suitcases.” He looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite place, “And, anyway, here in Wraya you don't let a lady carry heavy things if you are able to help her. So here I am, customs and such.” 
At this point you had entered the building, you were too busy with the chaos prince Seokmin admitted to really take in your surroundings though.
“I am hardly a lady, your highness. With all due respect, I really think I should carry my own bags.” You really hoped that wasn't disrespectful in any way, you just didn't want anyone to see you with the prince carrying your things. You didn't want them to get a negative first impression of you.
He stopped abruptly, looking at you with a serious expression, “You want to disrespect our customs?”
You had never seen him serious, on pictures, during interviews, he was always just smiley and full of sunshine, his sudden moodswing startled you visibly. That's when you noticed he seemed to barely be able to hold in his laughter.
“I'm joking. But they're really not heavy or anything.” He said, while handing one of the two suitcases over to you. 
You took that win, one was better than nothing and there was no way you were going to argue with a prince. Carrying one of your own suitcases calmed you a little, enough to look at the amazing building you found yourself in. 
Even though you entered through the old part of the castle, it was clear you were now in the newer part. Clean lines and such. It looked like a house built in the 70’s, but way bigger. There was a blue carpet floor-liner with intricate details, it seemed to go through the whole building. On the walls were some gorgeous lights, about 5 meters apart from each other. They looked like flowers.
You tried to pay close attention to where the prince was leading you, so you wouldn’t get lost in the future, but you already knew it was hopeless. You told yourself to ask if they had a map of this place you could use in the future. 
“I really hope you’ll enjoy your time here.” Prince Seokmin said, he was walking beside you, the few staff members you ran into bolted aside when the two of you walked past, he smiled at every single one.
“Thank you, I’m sure I will, your highness.” 
He seemed to slightly cringe at your politeness, something you had noticed him doing before. You wondered if ‘Your highness’ wasn’t proper, maybe you had to address him with something else. But he didn’t say anything.
“I mean, you know, working for mister Popelin must have been fun… I just hope you can find joy here as well.” He shrugged and kept looking ahead. 
You frowned, working for mister Popelin was your dream, it had been since you were young. But you were lucky enough to have worked for him for a few years, “It is a great opportunity to work for you, your highness. I am very much looking forward to it.”
That answer seemed to satisfy you. He looked at you with a big, cheeky smile on his face.
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nonranghaes · 10 months ago
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heads up! fantasy au. prince!dk. knight!reader.
"you have duties to attend to, your highness."
seokmin pays you little mind right now as he sits in the gardens, carefully gathering more flowers. yes, he does have duties--you've told him at least thirty million times now, he's sure--but those can wait. he's done with the pressing matters for now. you stand by, watching him closely as he sits down with his back turned to you.
"just a little longer."
he smiles when he hears your slightly annoyed sigh. he likes that about you. you don't entertain him endlessly, but you clearly care enough to stand by and guard him nevertheless. others would have passed the duty onto someone underneath them, but not you. sometimes he thinks he should call you out on it all... but not now. he has other ways to fluster you.
and it starts with the flower crown he carefully crafts, turning to face you as he places it atop your head.
"there." he smiles at you. "it suits you."
you avert your gaze. "i believe these kinds of things suit you better, your highness. sunflowers turn to face you."
oh, you could be a little romantic if you chose, hm? seokmin just smiles, hand cupping your cheek as he smiles at you. with more honeyed words like those, perhaps he'd run away with you if you asked. "and i would face you, my sunshine."
your lips part slightly as you gasp, immediately averting your gaze out of embarrassment. but he sees the tiniest smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, a dreamy look in your eyes as you let him see you as you are--a person who loves him--rather than the guardian you're supposed to be.
perhaps he'd run away with you tonight if you asked, if it meant he could see that tender look on your face again.
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kim-jongin-s · 3 months ago
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svt fic recs (mostly nc-17; jeongcheol, verkwan, minwon + other)
JEONGCHEOL
"fuckme.mp3 (a smash hit)". au, underground rapper!sc. oneshot, 2k. nc-17.
It's all thanks to Hansol, really.
"calibration". omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh. oneshot, 2k. nc-17.
“…can tell he really wants you,” Hansol is saying, somewhere nearby, except for a minute it doesn’t smell like Hansol, and Seungcheol blinks, confused, until he sees who’s following Hansol into the room and stops caring about anything else.
"a thousand degrees tonight". oneshot, 3.6k. nc-17.
The novelty has yet to wear off, knowing that he can have someone as strong and sure and dependable as Seungcheol like this- unfocused, needy. Desperate for him.
"babysitting gone wrong". au, babysitter!jh. oneshot, 4k. nc-17.
In which, Jeonghan gets hired to babysit the youngest Choi for the night but ends up sitting on the meaty thick thighs of the eldest Choi sibling.
"amour". au, vampire!sc. oneshot, 7.7k. nc-17. (check out the prequels to fully enjoy this one.)
At some point, Seungcheol had found himself with a collection of all the small, intimate noises that Jeonghan had made for him tucked away in a secret part of his heart.
"praying at your altar". modern royalty!au: bodyguard!sc, prince!jh. oneshot, 8.6k. nc-17.
Above all, the prince is precious.
"stay here with me". au, psychologist!sc. 5 chapters, 31k. r. ♡♡
Eight months after his younger sister's death, Jeonghan is struggling. Barely hanging on. He's tired. Lonely. Wishing he could find one therapist that understands his niece. Then he makes an appointment with newly graduated child psychologist Choi Seungcheol.
VERKWAN
"one day we're gonna get". oneshot, 1.6k. nc-17.
“Come on! As if you don’t know I look at you!” Hansol’s eyes are wide, exasperated. His tone is teasing. His grip on Seungkwan’s arm is so tight.
He’s scared that Seungkwan doesn’t believe it, Seungkwan can tell.
"one pound of flesh". historical!au, omegaverse: omega!sk, alpha!vn. oneshot, 4.5k. nc-17.
A strange marriage, to an even stranger alpha.
"sinking/floating". omegaverse: omega!sk, omega!vn. twoshot, 12k. nc-17.
Hansol presents late. Seungkwan is right there to guide him through it.
"left where the daylight comes". regency!au, omegaverse: omega!sk, alpha!vn. twoshot, 50k. nc-17. ♡♡♡♡♡
“Our dear Seungkwan is engaged to be mated to Alpha Park by the end of the summer season!” Seungkwan’s mother says, cheerily.
The delicate porcelain cup shatters under the force of Hansol’s hand.
"easily (like do re mi)". au, teacher!sk, single parent!vn. 5 chapters, 53k. pg-13.
As a single father, Hansol tends to worry too much.
Then, comes Boo Seungkwan, a kindergarten teacher that occupies Hansol’s mind more than he knows what to do with.
MINWON
"don't mention it". omegaverse: alpha!ww, alpha!mg. oneshot, 2k. nc-17. ♡
Mingyu's preferred person to spend his rut with may not be the most evident choice.
"the trials and tribulations of being accidentally bonded". college!au, omegaverse: omega!ww, alpha!mg. oneshot, 41k. r.
Jeon Wonwoo was supposed to be a Beta. He was also supposed to hate a certain Kim Mingyu with all his might. But, then again, who says life couldn't roughly take you in the ass without preparation?
OTHER
"we". wonwoo/seokmin/mingyu. oneshot, 15k. nc-17.
“Hyung, would you ever want to have a threesome?”
"love so tender (you are my)". chanhan. omegaverse: beta!jh, omega!dn. twoshot, 16k. nc-17.
Jeonghan is good at being in the middle. Extreme emotions are not really his forte. So he is grateful to be born as a beta. Less drama, easier.
Then he meets Lee Chan.
"over and over again". seoksoon. soulmate!au. oneshot, 19k. r.
Soonyoung has the easiest time finding his soulmate - running into him in the hallway at age nine kind of speeds things along. Nothing after that, though, is anywhere near as simple.
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multifics99 · 1 year ago
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A King's Choice: Part 1
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➳ King!Seokmin x fem!reader x RoyalAdvisor!Joshua
➳ summary: your parents work in the palace kitchens and your best friend is the prince. what happens when one day you are forced to leave the palace?...and more importantly what happens when you return years later?
➳ tags: angst, fluff, royalty!au, love triangle, childhood friends to lovers
➳ pt 1 wc: 1.8k
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You rolled down the grass hill squealing, not a care in the world if you got bumps and bruises. After having landed at the bottom you looked up behind you and saw your best friend Seokmin follow suit. He tumbled down quite aggressively but he didn’t seem to mind. He hoped that you were impressed, he always wanted you to think he was brave. 
 Seokmin was the crowned prince of a small kingdom, and your parents were the head chef’s of the palace kitchen. On days when Seokmin was able to escape his lessons and lectures he would sneak off to your cabin on palace property and play. 
You always found it amusing how much he enjoyed running in the woods and playing in the mud, the other children of nobles that you had met were nothing like that and often looked down on you for being related to the help. Seokmin never seemed to mind though, his mother, the queen, was benevolent and taught him to not look down on his subjects, that to be a good leader he had to have empathy. 
 You were grateful for him, he was the only other child on the property who befriended you, and though at this point you were only eleven you knew you loved Seokmin. Whether or not he loved you too didn’t matter much, he was kind and kept you company and that was all you needed. 
“Hey y/n!” He exclaimed after his triumph down the hill. You looked over as he plucked a large stick from the ground, wielding it like a sword. “I’m starting sword training next week, father says I’m old enough now!” 
You giggled as you watched him pretend to fight a tree stump as if it was an enemy. 
“Watch you don’t swing it too fast, your highness, it might throw off your balance.”
 You teased him. 
You always called him ‘your highness’ when mocking him, he hated it coming from you, he never really took himself that seriously. Seokmin stopped attacking the tree stump and put the stick through his belt loop like a sheath. He extended a hand to you, and hesitantly you took it, not understanding the game he was playing now. 
“Y/n may I speak earnestly for a moment?” You were confused at his shift in tone but nodded your head to say yes. Seokmin took a deep breath before continuing “I want to be brave for you, you’re my best friend, and though soon my duties as Prince will become more and I may visit you less, always know everything I do I want it to be for you.” 
 You had no idea what to say, you hadn’t really seen this side of him before, he seemed more grown up all of the sudden. You simply put your remaining hand on top of his and smiled “I’m grateful that you’ve always been a loyal friend to me Seokmin, I understand you’re growing up, I am too, but I trust we’ll remain close.” 
Unsure of what else to say, you both took a moment of silence. You knew you loved Seokmin before, at the very least as a friend, but in this moment there was no more denying, you had feelings for the crowned prince. Suddenly becoming aware of your position you dropped Seokmin’s hand and as if on cue you heard your mother ringing the bell for supper. 
“Goodbye S-seokmin.” You stuttered as you ran towards your home. 
“Y/n will I see you tomorrow??” He shouted after you. But you didn’t turn around, your face was now bright red and you were afraid he’d see just how wide your smile had become. You ran all the way home thinking of nothing else than the day the prince had held your hand and stolen your heart. 
 You wiped the sweat from your brow as you set down the pan of bread fresh from the oven, the bustle of the kitchen around you buzzing in your ears. Another member of the staff began to take the loaves from the pan and pack them as you hurried to your father to see if he needed any help. 
Some years had passed and you were now 15. Not only had you begun to work in the palace kitchen but your mother was ill and often unable to work. You weren’t sure when it had begun or when it got this bad, all you knew was that working in the kitchen in the morning and caring for your mother in the evening had become your normal. 
Seokmin often crossed your mind but since he had begun sword training those years ago you hadn’t seen him much. That day he held your hand was the beginning of an end, his father worked him harder since then, and had more eyes on him. The queen was known for being gentle but the king, he was a force to be reckoned with.
 Everyday you saw him less and less until eventually he stopped coming around all together. Now you only saw him when you occasionally served him and his noble friends their afternoon tea. So much had changed, but not the way you felt, that would likely never change, even if at times you felt a pang of bitterness in your heart. Of course you knew it was just a dream, to court the prince and make him yours, but your dreams were all you had these days. 
 “Y/n!” You heard your name from across the kitchen, it was the newest staff member Mingyu. You ran over to see what he needed, him towering over you despite not being much older. “Mingyu what could you possibly need, can’t you see I’m working myself to the bone?” This wasn’t your usual disposition but at times your situation would get the better of you, and you would feel angry.
“I apologize but I was given a notice for you, the royal doctor needs to see you and your father this instant.” 
The moment those words escaped his mouth your stomach dropped. The royal family had generously offered your family their doctor, who would check on your mother every afternoon while you and your father worked. You went over to your father who was in the middle of ordering his sous chef.
“Father” you choked out “the doctor. Mother.” Your vision was getting blurry, you felt tears begin to fall from your eyes. Immediately your father dropped everything and took your hand. You both ran out of the kitchen, and as you scurried up stairs and through halls your mind  swirled. Mother was sick you knew that, you had hoped though, you thought maybe she was getting stronger. 
 As you finally entered the drawing room to meet the doctor though, you could tell that wasn’t the case. 
“I apologize for taking you from your work sir, but your wife,” the doctor sighed heavily “sir I am afraid that she will not make it to the end of the week.” 
 You dropped your hand from your father’s, you hadn’t even known you were still holding it, and fell to your knees. You opened your mouth to scream, to sob, anything really, but no sound came out. All you could do was sit on the ground silent and shaking. 
There was no way this could be real life, your mother had finally walked for the first time in a week yesterday. 
Yesterday. 
Yesterday the doctor said he was sure she would be okay, that her face seemed to have more color. 
Yesterday. 
 But that was in the past wasn’t it? Today was a new day, and things can change in a day. Just as the world felt like it was about to go dark and vanish you looked up to see Seokmin standing outside the open door, he looked pained at the sight of you, and that was the last thing you remembered from that day. 
 Many things in your life were hard, but nothing would ever be as hard as the day you lost your mother. The details of that time were fuzzy to you, the days blended together and it was hard to remember exactly how you felt. You knew afterwards though all you felt was a numbing pain in your heart. 
 After the events your father decided it was best to move back into the village he had grown up in, just beyond the hills of the palace. He didn’t want to leave but he could see how staying would cause you more pain. He thought resorting to a more quiet life now would be best. You had begun packing one evening, just a week after your mother had passed, when you heard a tapping at your window. You went over to see what it was, in the darkness you could barely make out a shape. 
“Who is there?” You whispered into the night. “It’s me” a voice whispered back “it’s Seokmin, please come outside just for a moment.” 
 What was the prince doing outside your window? It had been so long and of all the times he could have come back he chose now? All you could feel was aggravation as you threw on a coat to sneak to the yard. As you went outside and tiptoed closer to Seokmin you got a better look at him.
 You had seen him a few times during afternoon tea, but he was always seated and felt so distant as he laughed and chatted with his friends of higher stature. Now he was standing before you, a bit older than the last time. He was taller, his features becoming less childlike, if you were not in a state of emotional duress you would probably comment on how different he looked. 
“What on earth could you want at this hour?” You spat. Seokmin hadn’t expected that, he wasn’t sure what he had expected but he knew he had to come see you. “I” he said “y/n I just want to express my condolences.” 
“You did at the funeral.”
“No, the prince did, tonight I come as myself” you just scoffed at him.
“I was unaware you were separate entities” 
“Y/n please” he pleaded “I know we’ve fallen out and I’m sorry, but I meant what I said, everything I do, I’m thinking of you” 
“You could have fooled me, your highness.” The words rolled off your tongue in malice. 
“I promise, I come in earnest, I want to say I’m sorry and goodbye, I know you and your father are leaving.” You looked in his eyes, you knew everything he said was true but you were hurt, and all you could think of was hurting him as well.
“We are, and thankfully so, maybe in that village I can meet someone who doesn’t abandon those he swears he’s loyal to.” 
And that was it, you had broken him, the strong young prince, he was shattered by you. Before he could say another word you went back inside, and began packing again but with fury. You were leaving tomorrow and you would never return. 
 As you attempted to sleep that night all you could think about was the day the prince had come to your window and broken your heart.
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wonusite · 2 years ago
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can i request what jealous prince!shua would be like? 🫣
you actually can bc wtf shua and jealousy go hand in hand. throw in a royal au and i’m DONE.
“your highness.” you say once you get back to his chambers. “what’s wrong?”
josh just barely refrains from yelling out in frustration bc what the fuck. it’s not your highness. it’s josh or shua. but clearly, you seem have to forgotten. he knows this especially bc you accepted a dance from the duke’s son. it’s fine, really, it is. since you belong to the monarchy—to him.
“nothing.”
he’s taking off his cuff links with a pout, and u refrain from smirking. “fine. then i’ll leave you. i have to say goodbye to seokmin—”
“wait.”
your cunt gets wet instinctively, recognizing his tone immediately. it’s the reason why you play into his game when he asks you to come over to his bed. you know how the prince gets when he gets jealous, which is why you don’t care that he’s been teasing you for so long. eventually he always relents and fuck you like you want him to.
“yuh-your highness!”
he’s angry, and your words make him drag you back and forth on his dick more roughly. “what did you just call me?”
your aching cunt is gliding over his thick cock, and ur not sure if you love this punishment or hate it. although just the feeling is making you feel drunk so maybe it isn’t so horrible.
“shua please!”
his smirk is tantalizing and so hot. “please what, angel?”
“please fuck me!”
he shoves his cock into you with a hard thrust, making you both moan out. “don’t worry, princess. i’ll give you exactly what you want.”
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rubyreduji · 2 years ago
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Standing Guard (of my heart) — ljh
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summary: after recent attacks on the royal family, you’re assigned to be prince jihoon’s personal guard. a position not suit for the weak of heart
tags: fluff, royalty au, it’s not enemies to lovers but jihoon doesn’t like reader to begin with, gn!reader, knight!reader, prince!jihoon warnings: violence, mentions of blood, mentions of death wc: 14.0k an: the term “sir” is used for the reader (in a knight way) but other than that the pronouns are non-gendered. also some parts were written out of order so sorry if some things don’t make sense lol i tried my best to make sure it flowed
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“L/N!” You perk up at the shout of your name. You’re currently in a guard meeting getting your new post assignments. After the recent ambush on the kingdom, security is being buckled down on and everyone is shifting job positions.
“Yes Sir!”
“You’re being assigned as Prince Jihoon’s personal knight. You start as soon as this meeting adjourns.”
Internally you’re a bit stunned, but outwardly you don’t react. “Yes Captain.”
It’s not your lack of skill that has you surprised, you’re actually one of the top ranking soldiers in the guard. You are surprised that you were assigned with Prince Jihoon though. Jihoon is the eldest Lee heir and first in line for the throne. Not only is he incredibly strong and intelligent, he’s also known for being cold and distant. He’s never fancied the idea of having a guard hovering around him, and even if he did want a guard around him, you would never expect it to be you. You are meant more for one of the younger brothers, Seokmin or Chan. You actually know Chan fairly well as he did his military training with you, and Seokmin is just generally nice to everyone he interacts with.
You’ve never directly interacted with Jihoon though. You see him around of course, and he’s addressed you in a group of soldiers, but you’ve never been introduced face to face before. He’s…intimidating to say the least. Whenever he makes public appearances a firm scowl sits on his facial features, unwavering. If you are being honest, you think that someone like Seokmin would be better to take over the crown, while someone like Jihoon would take over the military. Seokmin has that “People’s King” personality, while Jihoon is more of the commanding strict personality.
When the meeting ends you have to brace yourself before leaving the room. You’ve faced the enemy’s strongest soldiers before, but you still think that Prince Jihoon is not a force to be reckoned with. Luckily for you, you have a killer poker face and you're not one to take someone’s shit just because they’re royalty.
As soon as you step out of the meeting room, you’re greeted by Prince Jihoon, just like The Captain said.
You formally bow. “Prince Jihoon.”
“Sir L/N.” At your address you stand up. “My schedule today consists of paperwork. I will be in my office. Don’t bother me.” With that Jihoon walks off, with no regard to you as you follow him. He doesn’t even acknowledge you as he walks into his office and shuts the door in your face.
You huff before you turn around and stand guard outside his door. You don’t know what kind of paperwork Jihoon has to do but he ends up doing it all day. A servant comes and delivers him lunch halfway through the day and then dinner at night. He doesn’t even come out when it’s time for the night shift switch over. 
You retire to your quarters at the end of the night, frustrated with the whole situation. You really just had to get the worst prince didn’t you?
The next few days are more or less the same. You meet Prince Jihoon in the morning, he eats breakfast alone in the dining room, he exchanges one or two curt words with you, then he shuts himself off in his office for the rest of the day.
A part of you wishes you were put on another post. You know that being assigned to Prince Jihoon is from a place of utmost respect, but you’d rather be out talking to the people or helping train the new recruits or making battle plans with Prince Chan. Anything but this. You want to do something, not just stand guard outside a room for hours on end.
You don’t even have anyone to talk to, and God knows Jihoon isn’t going to talk to you either.
In your old post you were stationed in the middle of the marketplace, making sure the citizens stayed safe. You had a partner, a chill guy named Hansol, and you two would talk to the people of the Kingdom and walk around and actually do something.
Being assigned to Jihoon makes you feel like you’re babysitting him, which both of you agree he doesn’t need. Not to mention he’s three years older than you. He’s an important person, and you know that, but you wish they would have assigned this position to someone who was more…personally invested in it.
The difference between you and Jihoon though, is that you can still remain professional about it. You may not be the happiest with the arrangement, but you at least don’t show it. Jihoon on the other hand can barely spare you a glance and a scoff before banishing you to a day of standing outside his office door.
You don’t get how Jihoon can be with himself for hours on end, day after day. The only time he interacts with people is when someone calls on him, which rarely happens. Even when he is called on, there’s a 50/50 chance he responds.
One day after he ignores one of Chan’s requests, Chan shows up at Jihoon’s office door, his own guard trailing behind him.
“Good noon Y/N!” Chan smiles at you. Sometimes you forget how well you and Chan know each other, after spending all of your military training together. You were always top of your class and Chan would often ask you to spar with him when you had down time. There were even a few nights when you two would stay up and talk to one another.
“Good noon, Your Majesty,” you bow and Chan laughs.
“C’mon now Y/N, I think we’re past all that! You’ve held a sword to my throat one too many times to keep up the formal business,” Chan teases with a wink. You pretend you don’t feel your ears heat up.
“What brings you by?” You change the topic.
“I need to speak with my brother. He hasn’t been responding when I’ve called on him recently. Do you think I could get in there to see him?”
“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I’ve been told to not allow anyone into Prince Jihoon’s office, unless it’s the King or Queen. He told me this specifically applies to his brothers,” you tell Chan.
Chan tuts. “He sure is a stickler. Making you stand out here all day long doing nothing.”
“It is an honor to be able to-”
“Ah don’t sprout all that nonsense at me,” Chan tells you. “I know how you think Y/N, and I know how my brother is. You know, Seokmin and I are going to be head of the military soon, I could probably sway you a better position if you’d like.”
Just as you’re about to respond you hear the large door behind you woosh open. “WHAT IS HAPPENING OUT HERE!”
“Jihoon!” Chan cheers. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days.”
“I know, and I’ve been ignoring you for days. One would think you’d get the hint. Sir L/N, if you could do your job that would be greatly obliged. Stop causing a ruckus and get rid of the problem instead of becoming one.” With that Jihoon slams the door shut again. You have half the mind of storm into his room and choke him out, but you have just only a bit more resolve than that.
“Oh Y/N, I’m sorry,” Chan whispers to you. “I didn’t mean to get you chewed out.”
You brush him off. “It’s okay. You should leave though, before Prince Jihoon gets more upset.”
Chan apologizes again before giving you a quick hug and leaving.
The rest of your day is spent the same, standing out of the door. That is until it’s dinner time and Jihoon emerges from his office, looking worse for wear. He once again doesn’t acknowledge you but walks off, expecting you to follow. 
He leads you to his room before he turns to you. “Leave.” With that he closes the door in your face. He makes it hard to keep him protected when you’re the one who wants to kill him.
The next morning when you meet Jihoon you’re expecting him to walk straight to his office but he addresses you instead. “I have a meeting with Lord Kye and I do not favor unpunctuality.”
“Yes Your Highness.” With that Jihoon takes off and you follow closely behind him. As usual you two don’t exchange words, the only sound filling the corridor being your footsteps.
Lord Kye is, from your understanding, Prince Jihoon’s advisor, and one of the only people Jihoon genuinely enjoys being around. Along with his brothers, he has his noble friends from the neighboring kingdoms and what not, but really he only spends time with them out of formality. But with Beomju it’s different. You’ve observed the two talking for hours on end, even if it’s not a royal appointed meeting.
“Ah, Sir L/N. I wasn’t expecting you today.”
“They have been appointed as my personal knight,” Jihoon explains before you can. He then turns to you. “You can stand out here and wait until we are finished.” With that the too large doors to Beomju’s quarters close and you’re left to stand outside. Exactly as you expected.
You can hear the soft murmurs of the two men talking, but not enough to be able to hear what they're saying. Just enough so if they called for help you could intervene.
You’re caught up in thinking about new battle techniques when you hear your name called down the hall.
“L/N!”
“Sir!” You salute to The Captain as he walks up.
“At ease, kid.” He looks around and then at the door behind your back. “You know, you really should be inside the room.”
“I’m aware Sir, and I respect the training we were taught, but I was given strict orders by Prince Jihoon to stay outside of the door,” you explain. “I’ve been outside of his office door all week, Sir.” 
The Captain tuts. “The prince should know better than to do something so disregarding. Hmm.” The Captain motions for you to move out of the way and you step to the side. Three heavy knocks hit the door before The Captain speaks again. “Sorry for the interruption Your Highness, may I intrude?”
With the sound of shuffling, a few seconds later the doors open again, Lord Kye standing at them. “Ah, Captain, is there an issue?”
“Forgive me my lord, but given recent events, it is protocol for Sir L/N to be inside all rooms that Prince Jihoon may inhabit,” The Captain explains, giving a pointed look at Jihoon to get his message across.
“Ah, of course. Please come in.” Lord Kye opens the door wider for you to step in. With the problem seemingly solved The Captain takes his leave. “Would you like anything Sir L/N?”
“No thank you my lord.” You stand guard in front of the door, staring out the windows at the town in the distance. Prince Jihoon and Lord Kye continue their conversation, a bit more hushed than speaking tone, not that you’re listening. You frankly couldn’t care less about what royal business they have, as long as you’re doing your job.
You stand there for the better half of the day before Prince Jihoon wraps up his conversation with Lord Kye. He doesn’t say a word to you as he leaves the room, you follow behind him as he does.
The next on Jihoon’s list of activities is a dinner with his family. You and Jihoon are the last ones to enter the dining room. Four other knights stand guard at the doors, the other members of the royal family’s personal knights.
“Jihoon!” Seokmin calls happily when you two walk in. “Oh hi Y/N!” You bow at the prince with a small smile before moving to stand guard.
“Ah Jihoonie I’m still so jealous you got Y/N-ah as your guard, you’re so lucky” Chan says. “Don’t get me wrong, I respect all of our knights, but Y/N is so nice!”
“Then you can make arrangements with The Captain to change guards,” Jihoon says harshly before sitting down.
After that the dinner is thick with an awkward tension looming in the air. Jihoon doesn’t say a word as he eats his lunch, a frown plastered to his face. Chan and Seokmin make small conversation and The Queen tries to talk about her current projects, but most of the interactions fall short.
The dinner lasts two painful hours before Jihoon is standing up and excusing himself. It looks like The Queen wants to say something to him, but eventually lets him go without a word. You bow quickly to the royal family before exiting as well.
You two run into The Captain on the way out.
“Sir L/N! I require a meeting with you. Prince Jihoon, if you would join your family back in the dining room, you will be able to leave again when Sir L/N is free.”
Jihoon looks less than pleased with this arrangement. “Just assign another guard to me. I have work to do.”
“Your father has approved of this, so please cooperate with us. It will only take a few minutes.”
Jihoon glares at The Captain but turns back around into the dining hall. You follow The Captain to his office.
“Sir? Is everything okay?”
“Of course, there’s just some protocol we need to go over. Given the intensity of the war, there are a few extra things we need you to do as Prince Jihoon’s knight. First will be that you will stay inside every room he is in, no matter what the prince himself says. It is also now required that you are not excused by the prince himself, but you will have to stay with the prince from when he wakes up to when he is asleep.”
The Captain continues to list the new protocol for you. Most of it just means you will have to be around Jihoon even more, in even closer proximity. You’re about to just ask The Captain for a different position, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. He would take it that you’re ungrateful for your position and not committed to your job as a knight when you are.
The meeting gets over within ten minutes and you’re back at the dining room to pick up Prince Jihoon. He seems even grumpier when he exits the room.
“What did The Captain want?” He asks and you’re surprised he’s even talking to you.
“We had protocol to go over.” 
“Protocol? Isn’t that some of the first things the guards learn? Why did you, such an esteemed knight, have to go over something like that? Are you stupid? Is that why? If my father is going to appoint me a guard he could have at least assigned me one who can do their damn job,” Jihoon grumbles.
What you wouldn’t do to wring his neck right now. Instead you clench your jaw, waiting for him to get done with his outburst. When he’s finally done he composes himself, like he didn’t just go on a whole bitch fit, and brushes past you.
You’re following behind him, as usual, when he suddenly stops and turns towards you. You prepare yourself for another tantrum. “Just stop following me. I can get to my down damn bedroom myself, I don’t need you on my heels all the time.”
“It is my job to see you get to your destinations safely,” you tell him, as calmly as you can.
“Fine, just to my room.” Jihoon doesn’t listen to you as you’re about to protest and continues walking. 
While you trail behind him you wonder what crawled up his ass and died.
When Jihoon gets to his chambers he walks in and you follow him in. He turns to you when he makes it to the middle of his room. “Okay I’m in my room safe, you may now be dismissed. Have a good night Sir L/N.”
Something in you finally snaps. “I’m sorry to inform you, Your Highness, but I cannot simply be dismissed just by your word. I have hours I have to fill.”
“Well I’m telling you I’m fine and that last time I checked I’m the one in charge,” Prince Jihoon says threateningly. If there’s one thing you hate, it’s royalty pulling the status card.
“Do you have an issue with me, Your Highness?” You ask, spitting out the title a little too harshly. Luckily for you Jihoon seems a bit worked up about something else to scold you for your tone.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” he growls. “It’s insulting, honestly. Everyone thinks I can’t hold my own, like I’m some fragile thing that needs to be kept out of reach. I can protect myself, thank you very much.”
“You may think that but your father called for this after the most recent attacks. Don’t be so arrogant. This is my job and just because you don’t agree with this arrangement doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful to me. How do you think the people would feel if they knew how a member of the royal family treated their servants? You’re going to be king one day, act like it,” you snap. With that you turn and leave Jihoon’s chambers, too worked up to even think about the consequences.
When you wake up you’re finally hit with the weight of your words. You kick yourself the whole time you get ready and you slowly make your way to Prince Jihoon’s room. He’s just walking out his door when you approach and you swallow thickly before you make your presence known.
“Good morning Sir L/N.”
“G-good morning, Your Majesty.”
“I have thought about your words from last night, and I’ve found you are correct. I have also deducted that you are now the only knight fit to guard me.” That’s all Jihoon says before he starts to walk away.
Your mind is still reeling from the first sentence he said, but the second one has thrown you for a whole new loop. You’re not even sure what to say but you’re at least smart enough to start walking, following behind Jihoon like usual. 
After that things…change. Jihoon talks to you more, not a lot, but just a bit. His tone is nicer now though. It seems since you were brave enough to challenge him he deems you worthy to talk to.
Jihoon also seems to be out of his office more, but that may be due to having more meetings and The King ordering him to spend more time with the royal family. Even when Jihoon is inside his office, you’re also in there, someone for him to talk to when he needs human interaction.
Today is one of those days. You’re standing by the door when Jihoon lets out a loud sigh, pushing his paperwork away from him. “All of our efforts are going into this war, and there’s still no progress.”
“What happened with the alliance between your father and the Kwon Dynasty?”
Jihoon shakes his head. “No deal. The Kwons were asking for too much and by the time Father was going to just give in and accept, they had already aligned with the enemies. Not loyal.”
“The soldiers on the field are already tight. We might not be able to make it through the next battle without having to draft even more citizens. Even with them they’d be inexperienced and would have to go through the basic training process,” you note.
“We must do what we have to,” Jihoon says and you frown a bit. You know he’s right, but something about putting the people at risk feels wrong. Before you can say something Jihoon speaks up again. “Why did you become a knight, Sir L/N?”
The question makes you stop for a moment. You ponder the question before you answer. “It felt like the right thing to do. I’m not exactly talented in any other trade, but I can fight. When I enlisted in the military it was at a time where there was a lull in people joining. I thought if no one else would do it, I would.”
“What do your parents do Sir L/N?”
“My mother is a seamstress and my father works as a carpenter,” you answer. “Humble beginnings. Joining the military wasn’t about protecting the throne, rather than protecting the people. They gave to us while I was growing up, so it was my time to give back to them.” 
You don’t really realize it but Jihoon keeps asking you questions. You keep responding, even going off on tangents or switching conversation topics. Before you know it, it’s late into the night and Jihoon has ignored all of his paperwork for the day.
It’s not until you hear a knock on the door, interrupting Jihoon’s explanation of how the royal education system works, that you two are broken out of your little bubble. You quickly stand from where you were sitting on Jihoon’s office couch to open the door.
Standing on the other side is Hansol and your face splits into a wide grin.
“Hansol! What brings you around these parts?”
“You didn’t come to tonight’s sparring session and Prince Jihoon was not in his chambers when the night guard showed up for his shift. I was sent to find you two.” You notice that the windows outside of Jihoon’s office show it’s well past night fall.
“Oh! Sorry we were just-”
“I was just finishing up some papers and kept Sir L/N here later than I should have. That one is on me. I’m sorry to inconvenience you like this Sir Chwe. You can inform The Captain and my father that all is well.”
“Yes Your Highness!” Hansol bows before heading off.
“I’m sorry to keep you so late Sir L/N,” Jihoon tells you and he straightens his papers on his desk. “I should be heading to my chambers now, I suppose.”
With that Jihoon stands and leaves his room, locking the door as he does. You and Jihoon walk together towards his room. That’s something else that has changed. Instead of just following behind Jihoon, you now walk by his side.
“Thank you, by the way,” Jihoon says as you two walk.
“Thank me for what, Your Highness?” You ask.
“For indulging me tonight. For answering my questions,” Jihoon responds. “I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you. Despite being the future king, I’ve come to realize I don’t know much about how the citizens grow up in the town.”
“Well maybe that’s something to improve on,” you say. There’s no snark in your voice though as you desire to genuinely help Jihoon become a better ruler. “I’m sure the people would love to talk to their future king. To give them some assurance that their voices are heard.” 
Jihoon hums, like he’s contemplating the idea, but doesn’t speak on it anymore. Just as you get to his room he stops again to say something. “I also wanted to thank you for keeping me company. Don’t tell them this, but I believe my brothers are right when they tell me I need to focus on relaxing instead of my work every once in a while. So thank you for allowing me to do something other than work tonight.”
“I-,” you’re about to tell Jihoon that it’s just your job, but you stop yourself. It’s not your job to talk to Jihoon, you could have just brushed him off like he used to do to you. You realize that you like talking to Jihoon though. “It’s not a problem, my prince.”
“Still, thank you. I need someone to keep me in check, in all aspects. You’re pretty good at that, Sir L/N.” Something inside you flutters but you push it down. “Have a good night Sir L/N.”
“Have a good night, Prince Jihoon.”
With that Jihoon retires to his chambers and you stand outside of his room, trying to place what you’re feeling.
After that night it’s not uncommon for Jihoon to hold a less formal attitude with you. He talks to you a lot more while doing his paperwork or walking through the corridors. He offers you to sit with him and eat with him. It’s almost like a friend, if you could ignore the way he’s the royal prince and you’re just his appointed knight.
At some point you decide that you genuinely enjoy interacting with the prince. He’s softer when he’s finally warmed up to a person. He seems to even be more friendly with his family, which makes you happy.
Currently you two are sitting in Prince Jihoon’s office, going over war efforts together, when a knock comes on the door. You stand and open the door to see Chan standing outside of the door.
“Y/N!” Chan’s eyes light up when he sees you.
“Ah, Prince Chan, hello.”
“You’re just the person I was looking for!”
“Me?”
“Of course! I have exciting news. May I come in?”
“Prince Jihoon, it’s your brother,” you say to the older man, even though he can see and hear Chan from where he’s sitting.
“Tell him to go away,” Jihoon says.
“Hey!” Chan shouts. 
“Oh did you hear that?” Jihoon muses, a small smirk on his face. “What do you need Chan?” You don’t allow Chan in, but you do step to the side so Jihoon can have a full view of his brother.
“I’m here to inform you that Y/N is now my guard and you will now be guarded by my old guard,” Chan says.
“What?” Jihoon stands up from his desk and approaches his brother.
“Remember a few months back when you said that you didn’t care who your guard was and that we could switch if I wanted. Well I finally got it approved so I’m here to switch guards,” Chan explains.
“No. Denied. I’m not switching guards. Sir L/N is sufficient and I won’t accept anyone else now. Now leave.” Jihoon tries to shut the door in Chan’s face but he shoves his way into the office instead.
“You don’t even like Y/N that much!”
“Well I do now and I don’t appreciate you trying to take them away from me. Tell The Captain and Father that there will be no switch.”
“But-”
“Do not ‘But’ me Lee Jung Chan. I have more power than you, so what I say goes.”
“Hey you can’t use the future king card on me!” Chan protests.
“I’m not, I’m using the eldest brother card. Now get out.” 
Chan’s mouth drops at Jihoon’s words. Chan’s stunned position gives Jihoon an opening to shove Chan out the door, closing the door in his face. Jihoon looks at you when he closes the door shut.
“You do uh…want to stay my guard, right?”
“Correct, Your Highness,” you tell him and you don’t miss the way Jihoon smiles a bit to himself before sitting back down at his desk.
One morning you’re about to knock on Prince Jihoon’s door when a maid walks by. “Sir L/N, Prince Jihoon is already down at breakfast with his parents.”
This stuns you a bit but you don’t question it as you thank the maid and make your way down to the dining room. Sure enough when you walk in the whole royal family is sat around the table. There’s not a conversation going on, but there also doesn’t seem to be any palpable tension.
“Good morning Y/N!” Chan calls.
“Your Majesties,” you greet the family with a bow. At your sight Jihoon excuses himself from the table and walks over to meet you.
“Sir Kim is readying a carriage for us right now. Sir Kim, Sir Chwe, you, and I will be going into town today,” Jihoon tells you. If eating breakfast with his family wasn’t enough, this revelation has you even more taken aback.
“Your Highness, may I ask why we are taking this trip? Is there a problem in the villages?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I just took into consideration what you said to me the other day. About listening to the people and learning about their lifestyles before I become king,” Jihoon explains.
When you mentioned that to him you weren’t really expecting to do anything, it was more of just wishful thinking. You’re pleasantly surprised by this though.
You and Jihoon walk out to the stables where Sir Kim is waiting outside of the carriage with Hansol. You don’t know Mingyu that well other than he’s another one of the knights high up on the totem pole. He’s usually training the new recruits but you wonder if he had a position change like you did. You and Hansol greet each other and before you all climb into the carriage.
The ride into town isn’t too long and it’s mainly spent with you and Hansol catching up. When you do get into town you all climb out of the carriage. The town is busy today, people bustling around with errands and children playing and shopkeepers working. You guys are close to the area where you and Hansol used to stand post at the marketplace so you’re not affected by the crowds.
All of the chaos quiets down though when people start to notice Prince Jihoon. One one falls to her knees in a bow, everyone else follows suit quickly.
“Our Prince has come to grace us!” Someone calls out.
“Please stand,” Jihoon commands and everyone obeys, not wanting to disrespect the prince’s word. “I’ve come to speak to the people. With the war raging on, our biggest priority is our people, and we want to hear what you have to say. Listen to your stories and your troubles. See what we can do to help.”
The people look wary of Prince Jihoon’s words, and if you’re being honest, you don’t blame them. Jihoon looks a bit nervous until a teen boy steps up.
“My family has been struggling with money since the war started. Are there any jobs that the royal family could create so I could help out?”
Relief washes over Jihoon’s face that at least one person trusts him, and he calls the boy over to discuss his question. Soon there’s a line of people in front of Jihoon, waiting to ask him questions and tell him their stories.
A sense of satisfaction fills you as you watch Jihoon interact with the people. You’re glad that Jihoon is doing this, reaching out to the people, and you may feel a bit smug that he got the idea from you, but that’s not the main point.
Jihoon takes his time answering all of the questions as best as he can, taking mental notes of everything the people say. The questions continue for a while until all of a sudden the topic changes and Jihoon is roaming the stalls of the marketplace, looking at all of the creations and goods that everyone offers.
You come across a booth that’s selling art and Jihoon stops and looks over it. He picks up a painting, a landscape of the kingdom. He turns to you. “Do you think this would look good in my office?”
The question stuns you for a moment before you respond. “I think it would look nice on the wall next to your desk.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
With that Jihoon hands the vendor a couple coins and the vendor looks like he’s about to pass out in excitement. He thanks the prince over and over again until Jihoon finally gets him to stop. Jihoon repeats this process a few times over with different shops and vendors, each one as grateful as the last, until Mingyu’s arms are full of items Jihoon has bought.
You then come across a food stand that’s selling bowls of vegetable stew, something you remember eating a lot growing up. Jihoon turns to the man to buy some.
In the back of your mind you wonder what’s changed in Jihoon. You’ve never seen him interact with the public like this. You can’t recall a moment when you’ve seen Jihoon so kind and open before, especially with the citizens. He’s royalty, there’s really no reason for him to be indulging the street vendors like this, but he is. You wonder if he’s really changed because of you and your words. If you’ve affected him that much.
A fleeting thought that Jihoon is just doing this to please the people flashes in your mind, but you shove it away. Everything Jihoon has ever done has always been 100% sincere.
You’re forced out of your thoughts when a bowl of stew is shoved under your nose. You look up to see Jihoon handing it to you. “For you, Sir L/N.”
You take the bowl from him and thank him and the vendor both before you start to dig in. Jihoon continues to walk around the shops as he eats his stew. You follow close behind him, also focused on your own stew.
Jihoon stops in front of a shop and you can’t help but flush when you see what shop it is. Even while standing outside, the familiar scent of wood fills your nose. You try to ignore Jihoon as he smirks at you and glances up at the sign.
“L/N Furniture,” Jihoon reads.
“They’re not open today,” you inform the prince. “Dad likes to have Sunday as a family day.”
“Shame,” Jihoon tuts, “I’m sure your father makes exemplary furniture.”
“The best.”
You and Jihoon stand and stare at each other for a moment. Neither of you make a move before you decide to speak again.
“Why are you doing all of this, Prince Jihoon?”
“Doing what, Sir L/N?”
“Buying things from the vendors.”
“I wasn’t lying when I told you I took what you said to me to heart. You opened my eyes to how much I don’t know about the people, my people. I also thought about what you said, how they gave to you so now it’s your turn to give back to them. I thought that maybe, that could apply to me too.”
You don’t take your eyes off of Jihoon’s, like you two are coming to a silent understanding. Pride floods through your veins, seeing this growth in Jihoon. Then like a curse being broken, the spell wears off of you and Jihoon and you two look away. Without saying a word Jihoon starts to walk back to the middle of the town and you quickly catch up with him.
When you get back to the center of the marketplace there seems to be a new crowd of people who’ve heard of Jihoon’s arrival, all lined up to talk to the prince. Jihoon happily greets the people before diving right into answering questions.
You stand a bit off from the crowd, watching as Jihoon interacts with the crowd. Everyone seems to be holding onto his every word as he talks to them about the war and the country and solutions to problems and every other thing that’s brought up. 
“Sir L/N, Sir L/N!” You turn in the direction you hear your name. Running up to you is a little girl you recognize from when you would stand post in the marketplace. You smile down at her and pick her up in your arms.
“Well hello there.”
“I have this for you.” You look down to see her holding a flower out to you.
You smile back at her. “Why thank you, that’s so sweet.” You let her tuck the flower behind your ear. When you look up again, you see Prince Jihoon staring at you. He’s surrounded by a group of people who all seem to be sharing their stories with you.
You gently smile at him and he smiles back. A real smile. The one where his cheeks puff up and his eyes squint and your heart bursts at the sight. The moment doesn’t last long though, as Jihoon goes back to speaking to the townspeople.
You bid the little girl a goodbye before you walk over to where Jihoon is standing. He’s holding onto the hands of an elderly woman who is talking to him about what you believe is the water supply in a nearby village. The look on Jihoon’s face is serious and he nods as the woman talks, like he’s soaking up every word.
“Prince Jihoon, it’s almost time to leave,” Mingyu informs Jihoon. Jihoon nods.
He addresses the people, telling them he will have to leave soon, but he appreciated all of their input. He continues to say goodbye to the people when a tingling feeling creeps up your spine. A few moments later, you understand why.
“Take down the crown!” You hear the man before you see him but that doesn’t stop your reflexes from kicking into gear. You quickly draw the dagger on your belt and grab at the moving figure you see. You pin his arm behind his back and hold your dagger against his knife with your free hand.
You don’t think you’ve ever moved so fast before, but something in you just knew; knew you had to protect Prince Jihoon. Mingyu and Hansol stare stunned as the man tries to wiggle out of your grasp, but you’re not letting up.
“What a dumbass move,” you growl in his ear. “We could have you prosecuted right now.”
“Hey c’mon now it was just a joke, I wasn’t going to really hurt him. Re-”
“Shut up.” You twist his arm harder and he yells out louder. He struggles even harder and you slam him into the ground. “Stop moving.” 
“Sir Y/N,” Prince Jihoon’s voice rings through the air. “The town guards will take care of that now.”
Reluctantly you let go, still a bit on edge that someone’s going to hurt Jihoon. The guards who were standing post in the marketplace grab the man and drag him off. 
“Are you okay, Prince Jihoon?” Mingyu asks.
“I’m fine,” Jihoon dismisses Mingyu. “Are you okay Sir L/N?”
You brush yourself off before you nod slightly. You’re not sure what just came over you, but you know that you don’t like the idea of someone hurting Prince Jihoon. Maybe you’re just doing your job, but you can’t get that unsettling feeling to go away.
“We’re leaving now,” you mutter, while ushering Jihoon back to the carriage.
The ride back to the castle is silent and as soon as you get back you and Jihoon head to his office. While Jihoon sits down at his desk he looks up at you. “The Captain and my father will not hear about what happened today.”
“What do you mean?” You demand. “You could have gotten seriously injured.”
“But I didn’t, because you know how to do your job. Thank you, by the way.” You just continue to glare at the prince. “I don’t want them to know because other than that, the day was successful. With the war going on, I don’t want them to worry about the citizens and turn on them, when everyone I met today was incredibly caring and understanding. I’d also like to do this again, but I won’t be allowed if they know about the failed attack.”
You don’t exactly have an argument for him after hearing his explanation so you resort to just shutting up.
Jihoon jots notes down on a piece of paper and you assume it’s about what he’s learned today from the people. A look of concentration is plastered on his face, serious about what he said outside of your father’s shop. Silence surrounds the room until Jihoon clears his throat and you look up to see him glance at you before looking back down at his paper.
“You and Sir Chwe are close?”
It’s not what you were expecting him to say and it takes a moment for you to process the question and form an answer. “Yes. Yes, we are. We met during military training. Once we got into the guard, we were always stationed together.” 
“Do you miss working with him?” There’s a flicker of doubt in Jihoon’s face. You wonder if he thinks you wish to go back to your post with Hansol. If this was the beginning you would beg on your hands and knees to go back to Hansol, but now you find yourself as content as ever.
“Yes, I miss him, but I think the company I’ve found is favorable.” Your eyes meet Jihoon’s and you see his eyes soften slightly. Your answer has been deemed acceptable and Jihoon goes back to his notes, not bringing the topic up again.
As the weeks pass by, Jihoon seems to be in meetings more often than not. The whole kingdom’s focus is on the war effort and you’re forced to stand guard in every meeting, staying quiet as the officials talk. The only thing that gets you through the long meetings is knowing that at the end of the day you and Jihoon will retire to his office where you two can relax and talk as Jihoon finishes up his paperwork.
“Would you accept the position of captain, after The Captain steps down?” Jihoon asks you.
“I’ve never thought of it. I’m sure there are other people who are more qualified than I am,” you say.
“You’re one of the best in the guard though. That’s why they assigned you to me, isn’t it?” You don’t have a response to that considering it is the reason why you were assigned to Prince Jihoon.
“Well, if you had the choice would you still take over the throne?”
This one seems to stump Jihoon. He frowns down at his paperwork before he goes back down to writing. “I think I would. I’ve been raised as the heir so I guess I wouldn’t know a life without it. Chan is amazing with military things, and Seokmin’s the people’s person, but I’m the only who is able to make the hard decisions. The ones that might not always be what works for everyone, but the ones that keep the kingdom running.” 
“You say Seokmin’s the people’s person, but you were quite the sight to behold when we visited the town.”
“That’s another reason why I believe I would take over the throne. Talking to the people, well it opened my eyes. I liked talking to them, but it also helped me show where improvements can be made,” Jihoon says. “But that’s just more difficult decisions to make. Seokmin is truly the pleaser of the people.” 
“I mean, I do think Seokmin’s idea of free puppies is a lot more fun than paying taxes,” you tease and Jihoon snorts.
“You wouldn’t get paid if it wasn’t for those taxes.”
You’re glad you can have conversations with Jihoon like this. Ones where you can be serious with him but also joke around light heartedly. Sometimes you wonder if your comfortable relationship with Jihoon is breaking some kind of boundary, but it never bothers you too much whenever you get to see Jihoon relax and smile.
“Well then thank god for taxes. I need some kind of incentive to keep putting up with you.”
“Oh and here I thought you stuck around for my amazing personality,” Jihoon says as he looks up, meeting your eye. He smirks a little bit and you have to look away before your ears burn off your head.
For the past couple of weeks there’s been some kind of…tension between you and Jihoon. Tension not in the bad way, more like in the “this is probably classified as flirting” way. You perhaps like when Jihoon flirts with you, but that’s something you haven’t fully admitted to yourself and it’s not something you want to spend a lot of time thinking about anyways.
It’s embarrassing to have a crush on Prince Jihoon, to think that someone like him would even look your way like that. You’re just his guard, maybe a friend at most, but nothing else. He’s the heir to the throne. He would laugh in your face if he knew you had those kinds of feelings for him.
You’re knocked out of your thoughts when you hear Jihoon stand and stretch. “This paperwork will be here in the morning. I think I’d fancy a walk in the garden. Care to join me Sir L/N?”
You’re aware you technically don’t have a choice but you still appreciate the sentiment. It’s been happening more and more, Jihoon asking you if you’d like to join him for things. It’s a stark difference from when he used to just walk and expected you to follow.
It’s dark out, the grounds only illuminated by the moon and stars. You glance over at Jihoon, his pale skin basked in the gentle glow. The blooming flowers frame his head behind him and you look away again before your heart starts to do the fluttering thing it does when you stare at the prince for too long.
“Do you ever visit your parents Sir L/N?” Jihoon asks you. It’s been months since that first night Jihoon asked you about your parents and every now and again he brings them up again in passing or in a question, especially after seeing your father’s shop in town.
“I used to, but ever since the war and being appointed as your personal knight, I haven’t had a lot of down time to go see them,” you answer honestly. You don’t mind. You love your parents, but you also enjoy accompanying Jihoon throughout the day as he does his royal tasks.
“I guess I never realized that if you’re with me every day that-”
“Don’t worry about it, Your Highness,” you cut him off. “The war has taken all of our attention recently.”
“Which is another reason to go visit your parents. You’re their child, they must be worried about you.”
“Prince Jihoon, I assure you, there is nothing to worry about. My parents will be okay.”
Jihoon tuts disappointedly, but still changes the topic. “When do you sleep?”
The question throws you off and you stop to look over at Jihoon. “Pardon?”
“When do you sleep? You’re always there in front of my bedroom when I wake up, and you’re there when I go to bed, even on nights when I stay up late. Nights like tonight. So when do you have time to sleep if you’re always guarding me?”
“I go to bed late at night after I’ve ensured your safety and I wake up early to make sure I’m able to attend to you at the start of your schedule. The night shift guard watches over you when you’re asleep but my quarters were moved closer to your room so I can serve as back up if needed,” you explain.
“You’re…only getting six or less hours of sleep a night?”
“It’s not a problem, Your Highness. I don’t need more than four hours of sleep. It was much worse during military training.”
For a second time tonight Jihoon doesn’t look content with your responses, but still changes the topic. “You did your training with Chan, correct?”
“Yes. Your brother was a great joy to train with. He really knows what he’s doing.”
“You two are close?”
“Yes and no. More back when we were training, but that was a few years ago. We were both near the top of the class and it was common for us to spar while refining our skills.”
“So…would you say that Chan is your favorite Lee brother?”
You guffaw at Jihoon’s question, not caring if you’re disturbing the sleeping members in the castle. “Why? Would you be jealous if he was?”
“I was just merely curious,” Jihoon defends himself. If it wasn’t so dark you swear you would see a flush on his cheeks.
You stop and force Jihoon to look you in the eyes as you say your next words. “You are my favorite prince, I would choose you over your brothers a million times.” You’re not even lying, that’s the scary part. There’s a change in atmosphere and Jihoon opens his mouth then closes it.
You’re afraid you’ve overstepped the line when Jihoon opens his mouth again, this time words coming out. “Well that’s good to hear, but I regret to inform you that actually Sir Chwe is my favorite guard.”
Your jaw drops and Jihoon giggles before dashing off. You’re quick to follow after him, chasing him around the garden as he giggles. “You’re going to regret saying that!”
“Make me take it back!” Jihoon calls as he weaves in and out of the hedges. You don’t realize it at the moment but later when you go to bed your face will hurt from how wide you’re grinning, soaking up the sound of the future king’s laughs. 
“Tomorrow, you’re going to have a day off.”
Your head shoots over in Jihoon’s direction. What did he just say to you?
“After our conversation the other day I realized that you never get time off and that’s not fair to you. So I talked to The Captain and you will have all of tomorrow to yourself to do whatever you want. Go visit your parents, sleep in, go shopping. All of it, none of it. Anything you want,” Jihoon says.
“Wh- I thought you didn’t trust anyone else to guard you?”
“I don’t, but it’s not fair to keep you stuck to my side when you have your own life. I can stand one day with some random guard if it means that you get to have a break.” Jihoon’s eyes hold your own and his tone is soft and almost vulnerable sounding. “Just as long as you come back to me the next day.”
You don’t really understand you and Jihoon. You keep each other’s gaze for too long and keep saying progressively tension laced lines to each other, but you still call each other by your formal titles and you don’t think you’ve ever even shook Jihoon’s hand, let alone touched him in any other way.
It’s progressively becoming more and more of a problem, but you still can’t bring yourself to admit anything. Instead you just keep your eyes on Jihoon’s own gaze and ignore the desire to reach out and cup his cheek.
When you wake up the next morning you remember that you have the day all to yourself and you contemplate going back to sleep, but you know that now that you’re awake you won’t be able to fall back asleep so you don’t even waste your time trying. You instead get up and get dressed before heading out of the castle grounds.
You recognized how much it bothered Jihoon that you hadn’t seen your parents in a while and you decided you would take the day to go and see them. Their house isn’t too far away from the castle but it’s still a bit of a walk. You make it to their house by late morning and your mother nearly cries when she opens the door and sees you standing there.
You stay with them for the morning and a bit of the afternoon, catching up on life and having lunch together. Your parents are excited to hear about your position as Prince Jihoon’s knight and you indulge them as much as you can. You note the way your parents are ignoring the topic of war though, not that you mind, as it’s been the only thing you’ve heard about in the castle for months now.
Before you leave you promise your parents you’ll try to visit them again soon and start to make your trek back to the castle. You’re supposed to meet Hansol soon to have a sparring session. You haven’t had time to spend time with him since you changed positions and you miss seeing him daily.
You make it to the castle just before it’s time to meet Hansol and you quickly make your way to the training center where he’s waiting for you. You two greet each other and catch up a bit before you two are readying to spar.
Almost about forty minutes in and you're both panting heavily as you still continue to spar. Your swords clash against each other and even though Hansol puts up a good fight, your skills are apparent over his.
With a bit of footwork Hansol ends up on the ground with the point of your sword touching his throat and he admits defeat. You help him up and you two take a break before you start up again. You haphazardly throw off your shirt before Hansol lunges at you.
You can feel the sweat trail down your face and back as you two move around the room, dodging and countering each other’s attacks.
“You’re good,” you tell Hansol as he nearly cuts your arm, “but you're not that good.” You spin around him and hold your sword up against the back of his neck. “That’s what, six-zero?”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Hansol says, but you know there’s no real hard feelings. You and Hansol sheath your swords and walk over to grab a drink of water when Hansol nudges you. You look in the direction of where he’s gesturing to see Prince Jihoon standing and watching near the door.
“Your Majesty,” Hansol greets with a bow.
“Sir Chwe,” Jihoon greets formally. Hansol nods at you before silently taking his leave. “Even on your day off you’re training?”
“It’s not like I get to do much combat following you around,” you say.
You wipe a bit of sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. When you look back at Jihoon you notice the way his eyes are trailing up and down your torso. You clear your throat unsubtly and Jihoon’s eyes fly up to yours, his ears tinting a bit red.
“What are you doing here anyways? Don’t you have other duties?” You ask him. “And where’s your guard? Why give me a day off if the replacement can’t do his damn job?”
“He’s outside of the door,” Jihoon explains. “I figured he didn’t need to be inside if you were in here. And anyways it’s not like I was planning on running into you, I just wanted to see how training was going.”
“Sure,” you say with a smirk. “Did you like what you saw?”
Jihoon huffs at you, causing you to grin wider. “Your form’s a bit sloppy, but sure.”
“Oh? Big talk from the guy who hasn’t touched a sword since his military training.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, there’s no way you could beat me in a fight,” you taunt.
“Is that a challenge?”
“The spare swords are on the wall,” you tell Jihoon before walking to the center of the sparring area. Jihoon quickly removes his crown and heavy outer layers before walking over to grab a sword.
He walks to where you’re waiting and takes his stance. Neither of you says a word as you stare each other down. If you’re being honest, you’ve never actually seen Jihoon spar before. You know he can hold his own, but you’re not sure how he will hold his own against you. If he’s anything like Chan, you’ll still be able to beat him.
Lucky for you, Jihoon makes the first move. He swings his swords high but you’re quick to block him. He backs off a second but you follow him. Your movements are quick, calculated, and smooth. Like waves of an ocean you and Jihoon move together, lunging and parrying. Your swords tap together, the metallic beat filling the air.
Outwardly Jihoon’s moves are confident and fluid but you can sense his hesitancy. You were right when said he hasn’t touched a sword since his military training. Jihoon tries to psych you out by swinging high only to swing back down low while you’re caught off guard, but you’re still able to move out of the way. Jihoon grunts at this and lunges back at you again. Your swords press against each other until you’re able to throw his sword right out of his hand.
Right as you’re about to move to land the finishing strike, Jihoon moves away to try and get his sword. You grab at him to stop him but he throws you off of him, throwing you off your balance. Just before you’re able to go down you grab at Jihoon’s shirt, taking him down with you.
You thud onto the ground, Jihoon falling right on top of you. He hovers slightly over you, your faces inches away from each other. You can feel Jihoon’s hot breath as he pants, trying to recover his breath. You can’t tell if his red face is from the exertion or from the proximity. Maybe both.
Just before Jihoon can say something to you, you quickly flip the two of you over, so you’re now straddling Jihoon’s hips. You grab your sword and press it up against his neck.
“Got you,” you say, a bit breathlessly.
Jihoon’s pupils are blown wide and he can’t form a full word. You’re not too much better, staring down at him under you. A thought flickers in your mind that this is the first time you’ve ever had prolonged, or maybe any, physical contact with Jihoon, and it’s you sitting on top of him. That thought makes you come to your senses and you quickly clamber off of him, helping him up after. You both clear your throats before you move to pick up his discarded sword.
“Uhm, good match though. You definitely know what you’re doing,” you tell him as you move to put the sword back where it belongs.
“Yes, well, I should be going. Have a good rest of your day Sir L/N.” Without another word Jihoon quickly left the training room, not looking back. Even without seeing his face though, you could see how his ears were still bright red before the door closed behind him.
The rest of your day off was unnoteworthy and a part of you wished you were on duty, looking after Prince Jihoon, but another part of you was still not recovered from the events of earlier. After that incident you can’t hide any longer. You have a giant, massive, raging crush on the future king and you have no clue what to do about it.
Every time you think about it you want to curl up and die of embarrassment, your face flushing and your heart speeding up.
The next day when you greet Jihoon in the morning he doesn’t seem too affected by what happened, so you decide to play it normal as well. It probably didn’t actually mean anything to Jihoon and you just have a stupid crush that you need to focus on getting rid of.
Jihoon goes over his schedule with you as you two walk through the corridors. He has breakfast, then a meeting with Lord Kye, and then some paperwork he has to send off, and finally he has a brief report to receive about the war effort.
The meeting with Lord Kye is shorter than their normal meetings due to the stack of paperwork sitting on Jihoon’s desk. After Jihoon bids Lord Kye a good bye, you two head to his office to finish said paperwork. It ends up going quicker than Jihoon had initially thought and Jihoon is able to get the report soon after, freeing the rest of his afternoon.
You and Jihoon share lunch together before Jihoon suggests you two go out the courtyard to get some fresh air as you two now have free time. You agree and you two start to make your way outside. On your way there, you and Jihoon pass by one of the sitting rooms and a whistle sounds from the room. You look over to see a gaggle of men sprawled across the furniture.
“Watch out, big shot coming through!” One of the boys hoots. Jihoon huffs and squeezes his eyes shut before opening them and neutralizing his face. He straightens his posture before walking into the room.
Seven boys inhabit the room, grinning up at Jihoon. You recognize them as Prince Seungcheol, Prince Jeonghan, Prince Wonwoo, Prince Minghao, and Prince Seungkwan, along with Jihoon’s two brothers, Seokmin and Chan. They’re the princes from the neighboring kingdoms, all friends with the Lee Brothers as everyone is close in age. 
You don’t know that much about all of them, you were never close to the brothers growing up to know the other princes outside of normal royal status. Right off you can tell how close they all are though, dropping their normal day responsibilities to just be boys together. It doesn’t seem like Jihoon shares that same sentiment though.
“Ooh Prince Jihoon and his loyal knight. What a sight to see,” Prince Jeonghan teases.
“You know, you’re pretty cute,” Prince Seungcheol says, staring right at you. He winks at you when he notices you looking back at him. “Strong looking as well. You’re probably smart too, I can tell. What’s your name kid?”
“You don’t have to respond to him,” Jihoon informs you before turning back towards Seungcheol. “I’d advise you not to bother my knight.”
“No need to be so possessive there Jihoonie, just being friendly.”
“That’s Y/N,” Chan responds. “Jihoon’s personal guard. Hi Y/N!” You give a quick smile to Chan.
“Y/N, that’s cute.” Seungcheol stands up to greet you. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”
“Prince Seungcheol.” You bow to greet him and Seungcheol laughs.
“You really are adorable!” Seungcheol takes your hand and presses a kiss to the back of your hand. You try your best not to squirm out of his grip, your ears heating up.
“Stop that,” Jihoon demands. You don’t ignore the way he subtly shoves himself between you and Seungcheol.
“C’mon Jihoon, Seungcheol’s just having fun. You could stand to do the same sometimes,” Seokmin says.
“Not at Sir L/N’s expense,” Jihoon nearly growls.
“Why don’t you ask Y/N themself,” Chan says. “What do you think?” All of a sudden eight sets of eyes are on you.
“I’m sorry, what was the question?”
“Do you mind when Seungcheol flirts with you?” Chan asks again.
“Flirts?”
“Yeah, you don’t mind do you?” Seungcheol asks. He’s grinning at you again. “I mean, it probably happens all the time. You’re obviously a catch.”
“Nobody is flirting with anybody,” Jihoon cuts in. “There is a war going on, there are other things we need to focus on. You guys think I’m stuck up, but maybe you guys should mature more.”
Jihoon turns on his heels and walks away, you close on his heels. When you’re finally out of earshot Jihoon stops and takes a deep breath.
“You know that you’re being ridiculous,” you tell him. He looks at you curiously. “You’re the only person I want to flirt with me.”
Jihoon’s face turns red. He sputters about, not able to get a full sentence out. “I- I wasn’t jealous,” he finally gets out.
“You can admit you are. But, if you’re so sure you aren’t, you wouldn’t mind if I went back in there and told Prince Seungcheol that-”
“No!” Jihoon grabs your arm as you turn to go back the way you came. “Don’t go back there, they’re all stupid.”
You chuckle a bit. “I’m just teasing you. I’ve already told you I prefer you over anyone else, my favorite prince.”
“I- don’t say embarrassing things like that,” Jihoon mutters. Ah, so predictable of Jihoon, repressing his feelings so he doesn’t have to confront them.
That doesn’t stop you from pushing, though. “You like it.” You move a bit closer to Jihoon. “And I know that’s not the only thing you like.” It’s bold. You know it’s bold. Jihoon’s eyes meet yours and you can tell he’s about to say something else but then you hear footsteps and you two quickly separate.
Just as you two are able to gain your composure, Prince Seungcheol rounds the corner. “Oh good, you two are still here. I just uhm, I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It’s not fair of me to be on you Jihoon, you’re right, there is a lot going on and you have a lot on your shoulders. As for you Sir L/N, I’m truly sorry if my actions were inappropriate. I hope that you can forgive me.”
“Don’t worry about it, Prince Seungcheol. There are no hard feelings. Now if you will excuse us, I have to get Prince Jihoon to a meeting with Lord Kye.” You smile politely at Seungcheol before you turn and Jihoon follows suit, leading you away.
You two walk through the castle until you get back to Jihoon’s room. “I don’t have a meet with Lord Kye, do I?”
“No. From what I am aware of, you don’t have anything else on your schedule today, I just didn’t feel like talking to Prince Seungcheol anymore. Excuse my behaviors.”
“No, that’s no problem at all. If there is nothing left on my schedule then I think I may lay down to rest.”
“Of course my prince. I’ll be outside the door if you-”
“Would you like to join me?”
The words, so familiar to hear from Jihoon, stop you in your tracks and turn towards Jihoon. “E-excuse me.”
“Would you like to uhm,” he clears his throat, “would you like to join me for my nap?” When you don’t respond for a moment Jihoon turns away. “I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. Just ignore what I said. Will you wake me up in time for di-”
“Yes. I’ll uh, I’ll join you. Would you like me to take off my armor?” Jihoon nods wordlessly and you take your time to strip off your armor, down to just your shirt and pants.
Jihoon crawls into his bed and you slowly make your way over to the bed. You stare down at him before you yourself crawl into the bed. You and Jihoon don’t say anything as you two shift around in the bed. You can feel your face warm up and your heart speed up. You can barely even breathe as you move to rest your head on Jihoon’s chest. You think his heart is beating even faster than your own. His hand moves up to pet your hair and you close your eyes, relaxing yourself in his touch.
Your body is heavy and your mind is drowsy with sleep when you slowly open your eyes. You’re surrounded in a pocket of warmth and you yawn before you sit up. It isn’t until you try to move your legs that you remember where you are.
In Prince Jihoon’s bed. Tangled up with his limbs.
The prince himself is still asleep, murmuring every time you try to move.
You don’t know what to do. This is Prince Jihoon. The future heir to the throne. Of course the tension between you two has been suffocating and you’re worlds away from how you two used to be at the beginning, but you two haven’t officially discussed your feelings. It’s obvious you are into him but you can’t tell if he has feelings for you or is just allowing himself to finally indulge in a close friendship.
God, it would be so embarrassing if he’s not into you.
You finally are able to untangle yourself from Jihoon and you quickly get out of the bed. Maybe you can convince Jihoon this didn’t happen when you wake up. You’re about to start putting your armor back on when you hear Jihoon stir in the bed.
“Y/N? Why did you get up?” Shit. As much as you hate to admit it, hearing Jihoon call you by your name without formality makes your heart flutter.
“Uhm, it’s time for dinner, Your Highness.”
“Ah,” Jihoon mutters. You look over at him and he still has a sleepy look on his face, his hair tossed all over. Your heart swells at how adorable he looks. Slowly he starts to get up and stretch and fix his appearance. When he’s ready he turns towards you.
“Hey Y/N, about earlier I-”
CRASH
“Shit, what was that?” You quickly break away from Jihoon to rush to the door. Before you can even get to the door it’s thrown open and a sword is thrust right at your face. You fall to the ground in an attempt to dodge it.
You don’t have time to react, jumping up to your feet and grabbing your own sword. You’re hyper aware of where Jihoon is, glancing at him from your peripherals. He’s stunned for a moment before he moves to grab the sword kept on his wall.
Two more men barge into the room after the first and you’re quick to take two of them on at once. You do your best to combat the two men, while keeping an eye on Jihoon’s battle as well. You thrown to the ground and one of them slashes at your leg. It cuts right through your flesh and you hiss.
Your hand is still gripped tight around your sword and you take it and push it right into the man’s knee, twisting as you take it out. He screams and falls to the ground. You’re able to just barely get up, but before you can catch your balance the other man is tackling you back onto the ground. You two tussle around on the floor before you’re able to grab your dagger from your belt and slam the blade right into his neck as he pins you to the ground. Quickly his body loosens and you’re able to throw him off of you.
When you look over, the third man and Jihoon’s swords are locked. You grab your own sword and stumble over to where the two are, thrusting your sword right into the side of the other man. He crumples to the ground when you take it out. Your sword is now covered in red but you can’t focus on that when your pant leg is also drenched in the color.
You hop over to Jihoon’s bed and quickly rip part of your shirt off to wrap up your leg. The cut isn’t deep but it’s long and stings like hell. Jihoon is still recovering his breath when he moves over to you.
“Y/N! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you grunt out. You tighten the final knot and stand up. “I just have to keep the adrenaline pumping. Let’s go, we have to go alert The Captain.”
Jihoon looks like there’s more he wants to say but you ignore him, quickly moving to leave the room and find The Captain. You navigate the halls until you hear screaming. You move to go meet it. When you get into the courtyard it seems a full on battle is happening.
You spot The Captain already head-to-head with two men. Other soldiers are also in combat, doing their best to ward off the enemies. 
“Prince Jihoon! Go find safety!” You glance around to make sure Jihoon has a safe exit.
“No! I’m staying here to fight. It’s only right as the future king. Not to mention I will always be safest by your side.” He draws his sword and before you can even get another word out you’re being shoved into a pillar. You grunt as you hit hard. You barely catch your breath before you’re locked in a spar with another man.
Your body kicks into autopilot as you match all of the enemy’s strikes. Each person you take down, there’s another one or even two to replace them. Your body is thrown around, pushed into the ground, hit and punched and cut. Your breath is ragged and you’re sweating all over but you can’t stop.
Just as you’re about to take a sword in the shoulder the person is thrown to the ground. There’s a blur of bodies before the enemy falls limp and you can see the other man is Hansol, here to save you.
“Y/N! You good?”
You reach down to help him to his feet. “I am now that you’re here.”
It’s easier to take on the opposing attackers with Hansol by your side. After years of working together you two know each other’s movements, being able to work around each other to take down the others. You’re thinking you two are doing good when you all of a sudden a burning pain shoots through your spine. You can hear the squelch of your blood when the sword is dragged out of your shoulder from behind. You have to take a couple deep breaths to get the fuzziness out of your vision but you’re thankful the opponent didn’t stab your dominant shoulder.
Hansol moves quick to attack the man who stabbed you, the man he was just battling on the ground, dead. You tuck your arm into your side to not jostle your shoulder more. You grip your sword tighter before you turn to take on the next enemy.
As you look around a good amount of the chaos has calmed down as more and more soldiers are taken down, from both sides. A few of the enemy fighters flee as others continue their mission. The battle is almost over.
As you stand still for a moment of peace, you can feel your head throb from the blood loss. You’re about to move to do something about your shoulder when you hear a scream from behind you and you turn to see that it was the opposition, rather than Hansol, and you let out a sigh of relief. 
“You good?” Hansol asks you.
You only nod a bit before you look around and notice the glint of two swords in the distance. It’s Jihoon. Quickly you move towards him, desperate to protect your prince. Just as you get to them Jihoon’s sword goes right into their skull, the person dropping to the ground.
Jihoon’s own sword matches yours now, bathed in a bath of thick red blood. Jihoon sees you approaching and his face softens. He’s about to say something to you just as you notice movement from the corner of your eye. 
“Jihoon!” Before his name can even leave your lips your body is moving, your reflexes quick from years of training. Your body lurches forwards, pushing Jihoon down as the sword slashes into your side. You hiss, but with your adrenaline pumping you don’t stop. You just stand up straight and slash your sword right back at the enemy.
Your swords clash together, in a twisted, unplanned choreography. Clang, clang, slash. His sword nicks your upper arm this time. You won’t let him win though. You won’t let him get to Jihoon.
You grunt as you fall to the ground, your sword knocking out of your hand. You curse. The man hovers over your body, his sword ready to plunge into your heart.
That is, until you sweep his leg. He goes tumbling to the ground as well you’re able to climb on top of him and start punching him in the face. It doesn’t last long though because he grabs you by the neck and starts to hit you back. Your two roll around the ground, slugging it out. There’s a pounding in your ears and your heart is in your throat and your whole body stings, but you can’t stop, not yet.
A glint catches your eye and you take your chance. You lunge for a dagger sitting on the ground, just barely being able to grasp it with your finger tips. Before the other guy can get another move in you slam the hilt of the dagger into his temple, taking him out. His body falls limp, but you don’t allow yourself to do the same yet.
You stagger up onto your feet, searching, until you catch a glimpse of him. You frown at the small gash on his cheek, dripping red.
“Y-you’re bleeding,” you mumble, your thumb coming up to swipe the blood away from the scratch.
“I’m bleeding? You’ve been mangled!” Jihoon grabs at you, steading your wobbly steps.
“Anything- anything for you…my prince,” you manage to get out before you start to fall, Jihoon’s strong arms locking around you as you go down.
You wake up to a pounding head and the sound of light footsteps. You don’t open your eyes but you let out a small grunt and the footsteps stop before getting closer, the bed dipping.
“A-are you awake?”
You finally flutter your eyes open, grateful the room is fairly dim. Staring at you with large puppy dog eyes and a slight frown is Prince Jihoon.
“Your Highness.” You reach to grab him. He guides your hand to his cheek. “Your face.” Your thumb brushes over his already healing cut.
“Who cares? You could have died!”
“It would be an honor to die for you, my prince.”
“Don’t say that,” Jihoon hisses. “I couldn’t- I- you can’t die. Not like that.”
“It is my job, Your Highness, to put my life on the line for yours. I am here to protect you. If I die for the cause, then I am doing my job right,” you tell him. “My death does not matter, as long as you are safe.”
“Shut up! Stop talking like that! It matters to me. It matters to me if you die.” Jihoon’s grip on you tightens. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so distraught. “I won’t have a reason to continue if you are not by my side.”
“My prince…”
“You are my knight and I am your prince. You are mine, and I am yours, and you have to be beside me or what else is the point? I- I can’t…I love you, damnit! And you can’t keep acting like you don’t love me as well.”
You can’t help but grin, a small chuckle escaping your throat.
“Why are you laughing?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just…you’re quite the force to be reckoned with, my prince.” Your thumb brushes his cheek again. “My prince.”
“Say it back,” Jihoon demands and you laugh a bit before it starts to hurt your side.
“I love you too, my Jihoonie.”
“You know you really shouldn’t be back on duty yet,” Jihoon scolds as he starts to get ready for the morning. He bustles around his room, finishing up his morning preparations. “Your shoulder isn’t even healed yet.”
“I’m fine,” you assure him. “This is my job and I don’t trust the other guards to do it properly. You’re very important, you know.” Jihoon rolls his eyes but you just smirk and lean in to press a kiss to his cheek. “Let me fix your crown.” You reach up to straighten the gold piece on top of his head before pulling away.
It’s been over a month since the battle in the courtyard. You’ve been on bedrest healing but you’ve finally been discharged from the infirmary and you take that as your permission to go back to work. You’ve been itching to finally do something and even though Jihoon visited you everyday while you were healing, it’s not the same as being by his side as his knight.
While you were healing it was discovered that the ambush happened because there was a mole in the kingdom who told the outside about how all of the other princes were in the castle that day. The mole let them in and caused the battle. A few days after that was revealed, the mole was caught and prosecuted. It makes you feel better knowing that the traitor was discovered, but you are still on edge knowing that the war will only get worse.
A good amount of soldiers died while fighting off the enemy that day. A funeral service will be held soon and you think about how the kingdom will start to call for military recruitment again. Nobody you were terribly close with was majorly injured but you know that Chan’s personal knight was fatally wounded in the battle. Hansol has been put in his place for the time being, maybe permanently if his old guard doesn’t recover fully.
The castle’s security will be cracked down on even harder, and more soldiers will be sent out to the kingdom’s borders to instill stricter border control. The new changes worry you more than anything. You’ve always been aware of the war, but a part of you was hoping that it would somehow come to a stalemate or an agreement before things got worse. Wishful thinking.
“Hey, I can see you thinking, stop that. I should be the one who’s all serious and worries about the difficult topics.” Jihoon’s hand brushes over your cheek.
“Sorry, it’s just a bit hard to not think about it.”
“You should only be focused on healing. I still can’t believe The Captain allowed you to go back on duty.”
“Oh he didn’t, I just am,” you state.
“Y/N,” Jihoon scolds, his eyes wide and scandalized.
“I can’t keep laying in bed anymore. Please, I won’t strain myself. I just want to spend time with you.” You’re lucky you know Jihoon’s soft spot (that being you), because he just sighs and resigns, not putting up any more fight
The only issue is that you and Jihoon still have not talked about the nature of your relationship. Sure, you guys confessed and you two are more touchy and give the occasional kiss on the forehead or cheek but you still aren’t officially official. 
It’s something that’s been bothering you for weeks now but you haven’t found the right time to bring it to Jihoon between being in the infirmary and the war stress and everything else. You contemplate if there really is a “right time” and that maybe you should just bite the bullet and bring it up.
You two are about to leave Jihoon’s chambers when you decide that biting the bullet is the best option. Right as Jihoon is about to grab the door handle you grab his arm and stop him. Jihoon turns to look at you questioningly.
“May I court you?” The words spill out of your mouth. Jihoon’s response is instantaneous.
“No.”
That’s definitely not the answer you were expecting. You’re about to start feeling like a fool when Jihoon continues.
“You can’t do this to me Y/N. I had a whole plan. I even asked your parents! I had this whole day set up and we’d go out and then at the end I was going to ask you to court me and I can’t believe that you-”
“You asked my parents? If you could court me?”
“Yes and now you’ve gone and ruined it!”
“You’re so ridiculous,” you mutter, a smirk plastered on your lips. “But you still haven’t given me an answer.”
“I- yes. Yes, of course I want you to court me,” Jihoon says, his temperment toning down. You smile at Jihoon before grabbing him by the waist and pulling him towards you. You lean in and Jihoon meets you halfway, connecting his lips to yours.
Your body is buzzing with warmth when you pull away and you can’t wipe the dorky grin off your face. You’re grateful Jihoon also has a dorky grin on his face.
You don’t know what’s next for you and Jihoon, but you do know that whatever it will be, you’ll get through it, together.
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want more of prince jihoon x knight reader? read the additional smut fic here
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